#it’s truly like the hydra of tumblr

[pippin-bird]

“there’s also no porn on there anymore”

this is how i know that phil is only on tumblr after he posts a video because when those men are quiet, all i see is porn bots

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 26, Unsurprising - Pt. 5

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mentions of miscarriage, mentions of sex.

Word Count: 1.4k

Previously On...: Nat gave you some very interesting, and disturbing news.

A/N: ::giggles like school girl::

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc

“Buck,” you hissed, shaking his sleeping form. You hadn’t been on the phone with Nat for that long; there’s no way he should be sleeping this deeply already. “Wake the fuck up!”

He groaned and rolled over, looking at you through sleepy eyes. “Pocket?” he groaned, bringing up a hand to rub at his forehead. “I told you, I’m not just gonna fuck you if it doesn’t mean anything.”

You shoved him. “That’s not why I’m here, asshat!” you hissed. “Something’s happened!”

Bucky bolted upright and flipped on the bedside lamp. “What is it?” he asked, looking alarmed as he ran his eyes over your frame. “Are you alright? Are there complications? Do you need to go back to the hospital?” You were surprised that his immediate response was concern for your welfare, though you shouldn’t have been– Bucky had always been protective– until it came to protecting you from his actions, of course. 

“No,” you said, reassuring him, “I’m fine. Something happened at the Tower. With Carthage.” You quickly recapped what Natasha had texted you, adding the sparse details she’d provided during your call.

“So, she quit?” he asked. “That’s great!”

“No, baby,” you said, and if either one of you noticed the endearment that slipped out, you didn’t acknowledge it. “Fuck… I’m just gonna say it because I don’t know how to put it delicately: Jade’s an undercover Hydra operative and her mission was to bring you back to them so they could reclaim you as their asset.”

You weren’t sure what reaction you had expected from Bucky– shock? Anger? Tears? Any one of them, or, hell, a combination of all three, would have been more than appropriate and expected.

What you had not been expecting, however, was fucking laughter. You looked at him blankly for a minute, wondering if you’d looked this crazy when you’d started laughing after Dr. Carson had informed you of your miscarriage.

“It’s not funny, Buck,” you said, annoyed. 

“It’s fucking hilarious, doll!” Bucky gasped, tears coming to his eyes from how hard he was laughing now. “She’s a Hydra agent? She’s got TicTac followers, for Christ’s sake!”

You could feel your blood pressure rising in your veins. Oh, you were getting angry at him, now. “First of all, it’s fucking TikTok, and I don’t know why we have to keep having that conversation! And second,” you took a breath, knowing this was probably not the most appropriate time to start something, but not being able to let it go, “I cannot fucking believe that, after everything, all the bullshit you fed me tonight in the living room, you’re still taking her side, taking her word over mine, as if I would make an accusation like that without any fucking proof!”

Bucky’s demeanor sobered up in an instant, as if you’d physically knocked the laughter out of him. He reached for your hand, and you let him take it. “Oh, sweets, no– that’s not… that’s not why I’m laughin’. I believe you; trust me, I learned my lesson there. No, it’s fucking hilarious, because of course she’s a Hydra agent. It explains everything, actually.” He didn’t need to elaborate for you to catch his meaning– of course she would have only pursued him so aggressively because it was her mission objective to do so. He must have felt himself so foolish to think that she would have had real feelings for him. You thought for a second that the realization should make you angry– you hadn’t needed a secret agenda to love him, after all, but then, he probably thought you didn’t love him anymore, either; you’d certainly given no indication of it. Even now, he still viewed himself as so completely undeserving of affection, and that just made your heart heavy with sadness.

“I don’t think it was just her mission,” you said, not really sure why you were about to come to the defense of the woman who’d made your life a living hell, but also knowing that you couldn’t stand for him to think he was unloveable. “She had the perfect opportunity to incapacitate you and bring you back to them on the Russia trip.” Ugh, just saying those two words left a sick taste in your mouth. “You were alone, in their territory, and she… she had you in an extremely vulnerable position. It would have been so easy for her to incapacitate you there, deliver you to them. But she didn’t. Whatever her mission objective is, I’m pretty sure she’s got one of her own, and I think it’s just you.”

Bucky studied you quizzically. “Are you… trying to reassure me? Because trust me, Pocket, it’s no skin off my back if she never actually cared about me, though it does make me regret everything even more.”

“I just…” you struggled to find the right words. “I just don’t want you thinking the only reason someone would want you is because they were told to,” you said after a minute. “That they were pretending. I’ve seen the way she looked at you, and it drove me absolutely crazy, because I know that’s how I look at you, too. I’m just saying, in her own fucked up way, I think she does care for you, whatever that means to her.”

Bucky’s head tilted as he looked at you, eyes gone gooey. “Present tense,” he said softly.

“What?”

He held your cheek into his big hand, rubbing a thumb along the line of your cheek bone. “You said that’s how you look at me. Not looked. Present tense, not past.” 

You snorted; you’d walked right into that. “Just because I stopped trusting you doesn’t mean I ever stopped loving you,” you admitted. 

“Pocket,” he said, leaning closer to you, “I’m gonna kiss you now, okay? If you don’t want me to, just say the word, and I’ll stop.”

“What happened to not wanting to be intimate with me if it’s not going to mean anything,” you exhaled. He was impossibly close now, but you hadn’t told him to stop. Not yet.

His breath teased your lips. “I think we both know now it’s anything but meaningless,” he said. His lips brushed across yours in a whisper of a kiss. “Tell me to stop,” he said again in a final warning, but you both knew you wouldn’t. You couldn’t. All you could do was close the millimeters of distance remaining between you until his mouth was on yours, begging for you to let him in.

So you did. And it was like a sudden summer downpour after a drought. A ray of warm sunlight breaking through the chill of snow clouds. The first blossom unfurling from the ground to signal the true arrival of Spring. It was finally coming home, all encompassing and everything you’d ever needed, a promise of sweetness and new beginnings. And it was over all too soon. 

Bucky broke the kiss, chuckling as you greedily chased after his lips with your own, a pitiful whine escaping them at the loss of contact. “Come back here,” you grumbled, reaching for him to bring him closer, but Bucky leaned away from you. 

“Told you, sweetheart,” Bucky said, pulling down the covers next to him and beckoning for you to join him in the bed, “I’m not gonna have you if I can’t have all of you. Now get in bed.”

Son of a bitch. He wasn’t playing fair. “Not sure how that translates to me getting in bed with you, Barnes,” you said, definitely crossing your arms over your chest. 

Bucky rolled his eyes and picked you up, gently depositing you in the space he’d made for you inside his covers, and you couldn’t help but let out a little squeak. “If you think I’m gonna let you sleep on your own when we have no idea where Carthage is, you’re crazier than I thought,” he said, pulling the sheet and blankets up around you. “Now go to sleep.” 

If you hoped he was going to wrap you in his arms and hold you close while you drifted off, you were in for disappointment. Instead, he left a respectable distance between the two of you, then, checking behind the nightstand to make sure his gun was where he’d left it, turned off the bedside lamp. “G’night, sweets,” he called softly before settling on his side, facing away from you.

“Night, Buck,” you whispered into the dark, more confused than ever before.

<- Previous Part / Next Chapter ->

[kelocitta]

On Tumblr

I will not be moving. I'm fed up with AI but its a system that has poisoned every other site already, and poisoned the internet at large. Other than turning off the toggle and being mad that its happening again, I'm more than aware that my control over my work has already become increasingly flimsy on the internet landscape. Frankly, our data was scrapped through search engines long before tumblr asked for a cut of the pie just due to its public nature. So its hard to care that much by yet another site doing such, but its especially frustrating given how long tumblr did resist many of the temptations of data selling. Additionally, tumblr as a site handles content differently than others. A deleted blog's posts can still circle indefinitely due to the nature of how reblogs work. Deleting everything offers little protection, and moving anywhere else is just an additional ticking clock until similar happens, has already happened, or the sites are so new and flimsy that if you pay attention at all you can already see cracks ghosting along their design or operation. However it should be noted this frustrating move comes directly after another gross mishandling of privacy, site protections, and frankly a bafflingly public display of bigotry at the hand of the site CEO. It has been truly horrific that not only is this a consistent problem, but its one that comes at the tail end of a, frankly, much more upsetting action. I guess if I ask anything its to not let the existence of this new problem completely overwrite those events. Basically, I'm tired. More accurately I'm just fed up. AI scrapping is a problem I get very little say in, that's really the whole issue with its use of scraping as training method- the lack of say. I'm not a paying customer who can revoke support for a product, I'm just another individual experiencing the 'content' equivalent of a pickpocket. Glaze and nightshade are not fullproof solutions, nor do they 'poison' data sets in the way people might believe they do. Its an evolutionary arms race, but one with rollback and a billion different hydra heads. So yeah- I'll just grit and bare it and keep my money to myself. That said, for the people who truly want other options, I have other accounts on Twitter (Consistently used, although I talk and share less) and Bluesky. (Don't particularly like)

Sorry that the modern internet continues to suck!

[jtargaryen18]

One Night With You ~ Pt 3

One Night With You ~ A Halloween Tale in 3 Parts

Masterlist

Read Part 1 | Part 2

Words: 5.8k

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Neighbor reader

Warnings: A little language, references to the sound of people having sex, masturbation.

Disclaimer: The author of this work claims no ownership of characters aside from the reader, and any original secondary characters mentioned. This work is not intended for those under the age of 18 due to explicit sexual content in the third act. By reading this work or any works on my blog (jtargaryen18), you agree that you are at least 18 years of age. I don’t consent to having my work reposted or translated.

Summary: For @iheartsebstan who was my very first follower here on Tumblr and one I adore. 💕 It’s all about a chance encounter and how it can make everything in your life so much better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

October 31st: Halloween

The trick-or-treat in your apartment building started at 7 PM. You had no idea just how many kids were in the apartment building because you usually went out with Denny or your coworkers. It was 8 and the event ran until 9. You’d gone through more than half of your candy. And you remembered joking with Bucky that he had enough candy to spare if you ran out.

The problem was, Bucky wasn’t home.

Would he be home? Was he out saving someone as a member of the Avengers?

Was he avoiding you?

You didn’t know who your neighbor was when you agreed to have dinner with him. This morning it was the first thought that popped into your head. With Denny snoring next to you, you were Googling James Buchanan Barnes.

Sure, everyone knew the story of Captain America and his best friend who’d been taken by Hydra and made into an assassin. You hadn't thought it was all that interesting in school. You remembered reading that Sergeant Barnes had been rehabilitated and was free from the dark mind control he’d been a victim of for long decades. That was good news. But, like Captain America, he was over a hundred years old. The man had to have some massive PTSD from what he’d been through.

How to reconcile that story with the man who lived next door? Bucky had seemed a little intimidating at first. Now that you were getting to know him better, he didn't feel like a threat at all.

Still, it explained why someone who looked like him wasn’t out in clubs, meeting people. It might have had a lot to do with the simplicity of your evening with him. Helping him make pasta and cook dinner. A nice conversation over a meal and for once, a man seemed truly interested in who you were, not what you had to offer.

Then Denny texted and he might just have ruined everything. It gave you something to think about last night. By the time Denny was trying to sneak out super early in the morning -- like he did most of the time -- you confronted him. He broke the agreement of your "non-relationship." You'd agreed there would be no displays of jealousy or possessiveness. You broke it off.

You hadn’t confirmed to Bucky that you had a boyfriend because Denny wasn’t that. But the minute he thought someone like Bucky was interested in you, he flew to your door to end what had been a wonderful evening. You didn't regret your decision there.

Bucky must think you’re either jerking him around or you were just straight-up crazy. Either way, that opportunity was probably gone.

“Wow,” Bucky’s voice rose above the din of all the kids' voices. He rounded the corner and his blue-eyed gaze locked with yours. He smiled and it just about stopped your heart. “There’s a lot of kids.”

You laughed. “That’s what I thought too. I’m glad you’re back, I’m almost out of candy.”

“Hang on,” he said, working through the crowd to get to his door and let himself in. In a flash, he was in his doorway like you were, holding a huge basket of candy. Walking over to you, he dumped some of it into the plastic pumpkin you were using. The faint notes of sandalwood and amber reached you.

Because being a super-hot reformed assassin isn’t enough. He had to smell good too.

Going back to his door, there were now two of you, it was a little less crazy on your end of the hall when another flock of them came around the corner. But when nine o’clock rolled around, you breathed a sigh of relief. You’d been dangerously close to running out of candy again.

“How bad was it before I got here?” Bucky asked.

“About as crazy as it was after you got here.”

The two of you laughed.

“At least it's Friday,” you offered. “I don’t have to work tomorrow.”

Bucky nodded. “Same. Hopefully.”

When he was about to turn to go back into his apartment, you asked, “You want to have a drink, watch a Halloween movie or something? With me?”

You sounded a lot less confident than you thought you would.

He stopped, looking surprised. Then that smile… “Yeah, that would be great.”

“Yeah?” you asked. Maybe you still had a shot.

Bucky started to follow you, then remembered he was holding a mostly empty basket of candy, and his apartment door was wide open. He set the basket just inside the door before locking it and coming with you.

Nerves almost got the better of you. Now knowing who he was? It was thrilling and terrifying all at once. You didn’t feel like he posed any threat to you, but you did hope you could talk to him like a normal fucking date instead of a fan girl. He must have so many of those.

Closing the door behind the two of you, you headed to the kitchen. “I’ve got bourbon and scotch, and I think I have some vodka here somewhere.”

“Vodka is fine,” Bucky said, taking a seat on your couch. “If you have it.”

That was easy enough. You made a vodka and tonic for each of you. Carrying them back to the living room, you joined him on the couch.

“I’m not going to get you into any trouble, am I?” Taking a drink, he kept his gaze on the glass in his hand. “Or have I already?”

“No, you didn’t have anything to do with it.” Well, yes you did. “Denny and I got into a fight this morning when he left, and it got a little loud. I hope we didn’t wake you up.”

Bucky shook his head. “I didn’t hear anything, but I left at 5.”

“Good,” you told him. You took a couple of drinks, wanting the temporary courage the alcohol might offer you. “You didn’t miss anything really.”

“Was everything alright?” he asked, the sincerity in his expression made your heart skip a beat. “Did you get everything settled?”

You drained your short glass on that note. Bucky watched you but didn’t say anything.

“Everything is settled,” you admitted. “I ended things with him.”

Did you imagine those smoky blue eyes lit up? “I’m sorry,” he said after a moment.

You shook your head. “Don’t be. I’m not.”

Bucky placed his glass on your coffee table, scrubbing a hand through those gorgeous locks of hair.

“Last night, you asked me if I was happy,” you admitted. “I thought I was for a while. We were friends with benefits, you know? Denny had just gotten out of a bad relationship when I met him. We were friends, then we started hooking up. He didn’t want a committed relationship because of all the awful things that happened to him in his last one.”

“That wasn’t your fault,” Bucky said quietly. “That wasn’t you.”

He was right. And you knew that. 

“What did you get?” Bucky asked carefully.

“I wasn’t…” Sitting here and admitting this to Bucky, it hit you how ridiculous it all was. Your heart sank to think of how sad it was going to sound. But there was something in his gentle expression. A lack of judgment… “I wasn’t alone anymore. A couple of times a week I had someone to watch a movie with or have dinner with, you know?”

He nodded, his sensual lips pressing into a line.

But he did know. Flashes of what you’d read about him on Google flashed in your mind. He knew about being alone. He’d been held captive for decades. Who knew what the monsters of Hydra had done to him? Put him through? And what, you expected him to feel sorry for you?

“I’m sorry,” you told him. “I shouldn’t be complaining to you about… “

Easing back on your couch, Bucky’s expression was kind.

“You can complain to me if you want to,” he said.

“I mean, with everything you’ve experienced,” you said carefully. “I must sound pretty pathetic.”

Bucky nodded. “I didn’t think you recognized me.”

“I didn’t,” you told him. “Denny told me. The reason he texted me and showed up here last night all upset was because a friend of his saw me walking with you.”

“He was afraid for you?” You didn't like the worry that started seeping into his expression.

“No, he was jealous I guess,” you said.

Bucky huffed at that. “Jealous of me?”

You nodded. “He was. I guess he was afraid I was trading up.”

“I wouldn’t consider me trading up.”

You would.

“He can’t make pasta,” you finally said, hoping to lighten up the mood.

That made him smile. And he was so gorgeous when he smiled… But there were shadows behind his eyes. Shadows of doubt or fear? You couldn’t tell. You just knew you wanted to take them away.

“I’m sorry,” you said. “Really, none of it was your fault… And yet, it was. You showed me more genuine attention in one meeting than Denny did in our entire non-relationship – and that was before you made me dinner. I had a really nice time, Bucky. And I guess it got me thinking that… I want a relationship like that. Someone who is talking to me and listening instead of talking at me.”

“You deserve to have someone treat you right, doll,” Bucky said.

Doll, huh? You liked it.

“So, you’re an Avenger,” you finally said, now that things were out in the open.

Bucky shrugged. “Not really. It’s an opportunity.”

You didn’t understand. “An opportunity?”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah, for me to go out and try to wipe out some of the red in my ledger. So to speak."

The poor man. "That red didn't belong in your ledger, Bucky. The things they made you do? Those weren't your decisions. Right?"

“No,” Bucky told you. “They weren't. But I still did those things. So many terrible things. I remember all of it, in painful detail. Those memories will never go away.”

You processed that for a moment. They had him for so many years. You were sitting next to a man who was over a hundred years old, most of that time he spent as an assassin for one of the worst criminal syndicates the world had ever seen. You could almost see the guilt weighing him down. 

“Do they, the Avengers, still consider you a threat?” you asked.

“Before they cleaned my head out, I was a threat,” he explained. The pain etched in his expression had your heart squeezing. What the poor man must have been through. And it wasn't his fault.

“I’m just surprised,” you admitted. “I feel perfectly safe here with you.”

The pain eased out of his expression at that, replaced by surprise.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you told him.

“That’s good,” he whispered. “I never want you to feel afraid of me.”

You believed him.

“So you wanted to watch a movie?” he asked.

That he wanted to direct the conversation away from himself, you got that. You didn’t want him to be uncomfortable. And you did invite him over for a movie. Snatching up your remote, you went to your collection of movies for streaming. You loved horror movies and you’d bought several over the last couple of years.

“See anything you want to watch?” you asked him. But when you looked at him, you caught him staring at you.

And you were fine with that.

His gaze shifted to your flat screen. “How about… what’s The Conjuring?” he asked.

Perfect. Ghosts. Possession. Hopefully nothing there that would bring back any bad memories for him.

“The Conjuring it is,” you told him, selecting it. You sat back on the couch, moving closer to the center. To Bucky.

The movie began, opening with Ed and Lorraine Warren giving a lecture back in the 70s. You could quote most of the movie, but Bucky hadn’t seen it yet, so you didn’t want to ruin the movie for him by talking. 

Halfway through the movie, Bucky moved a little closer, resting his left arm, the prosthetic arm, along the back of the couch behind you. It was a chilly October night and the warmth of him was tempting.

Yeah, everything about the man is a fucking temptation.

You leaned a little closer. Then he shifted closer to you. You went to put your head on his shoulder, but he stopped you.

“Sorry, that’s not going to be very comfortable,” he sounded apologetic.

Sitting up, you met his gaze. “I’m sorry.”

You didn’t want him to feel bad about his arm. You scrambled for a solution, and it came to you pretty quickly. Rising from the couch, you moved to sit next to him on the other side. Flitting around nervously as you were, you tripped and fell on the man.

Bucky caught you, face to face with him, your arms braced on the back of the couch on either side of his head. You weren’t rightly sure who moved first. All you knew was that your lips met his. The kiss was explosive, with him pulling you in to straddle his lap and your hands clutched in his hair as his kiss set you ablaze. The moan he pulled from you was a deep, raw sound. Bucky just felt so good beneath you, the soft locks of his hair in your hands, the taste of him filling your senses.

Long heated minutes ticked by as the two of you kissed, moving together. His lips were a tender tease, dancing against your own as if he couldn’t resist. His hands skimmed over your back and hips as you ground down on him, hard and heated beneath you.

Bucky was the one to break the kiss, panting against your lips while his hands held you in place. “Doll, stop,” he said. “I’m sorry. Jesus.”

Your breath came as fast as his. “Why are you sorry? Why—”

Bucky’s flesh hand cupped your face as he gazed into your eyes. “I want this… I think you get that. But this isn’t the only thing I want with you… I'm not Denny. And I don’t want to mess this up.”

“You won’t.” You were panting. “You can’t… “ Your body ached, literally, and all he’d really done so far was make out with you.

You started kissing him again and he didn’t fight you, he was clinging to you. Now his arms around you tightened. He rolled his hips beneath you, nudging into the ache where you needed him most.

He chained hot kisses across your jawline to your ear. His tongue teased the sensitive shell of it, his breath hot as he whispered, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, please,” you begged him.

The deep moan that pulled from him pushed your arousal even higher. In a hurry, you pulled the heavy sweater you wore over your head and flung it away. Your fingers moved to undo the buttons of the blouse you wore beneath it.

The heated velvet of his lips burned a path from your ear down your neck. His mouth claimed each patch of skin you revealed in opening the blouse. Bucky didn’t wait until you were finished to slide his good hand up under your bra, kneading the flesh that filled it. While you hurried to shed the blouse, he reached behind you to undo the clasp of the little black bra you wore, roughly pulling it off you. With your breasts on display for him, the heated look in those stormy blue eyes had desire burning you from the inside out.

When his flesh hand returned to your breast, you gasped at the gentle touch. You were used to sharp squeezes for someone else’s gratification. Bucky’s warm hand skimmed over your flesh like it was an honor to do so. The metal of his other arm warmed against the skin of your back while his head dipped, his lips wrapping around your nipple. His mouth was tender, careful. He didn’t bite you. His tongue played with the tight peak in a way that had you squirming on his lap, eager for more of his gentle touch.

You couldn't remember the last time a man was so careful with you.

When his lips blazed a trail to your other breast, you twisted to give him better access, to give him everything. If you hadn’t been so turned on, you would have been embarrassed at your own desperation. Still, he took his time, handling you with delicacy.

Bucky’s arms tightened around you, and he rose from your couch with you with no visible effort at all. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you held on. You were about to tell him where your bedroom was but then you realized, he knew the way. He’d never been in your apartment before. How did he know that?

Your bedroom was cool and dark. He was careful when he lowered you to your bed, reaching around you to turn on the lamp on your bedside table. You knew you were staring at him. With just a knee on the edge of your bed, and the man had beautiful thighs, Bucky stopped and looked at you in question.

“How did…” How did you ask without making him feel like he was doing something wrong? “How did you know where my bedroom was?”

Automatically his hands came up to scrub through his hair and you were cursing yourself. What the fuck were you thinking asking that? You were right there – in your bedroom where you wanted to be – with your super-hot, superhero neighbor.

“I’m sorry,” you said in a rush. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

When his troubled gaze moved to the door, you moved closer to him, placing a hand on the heavily muscled thigh before you.

“Please, don’t go,” you whispered.

Blowing out an exhale, Bucky slowly turned and sat on the edge of your bed. His back was to you, but his attention was very much on you. You could feel it.

“When they took me," he said slowly, "They gave me the serum that gave me all these abilities I never had naturally. Everything was enhanced. I was so much stronger than before and faster. All of my senses were enhanced. I can see things from a distance in great detail. I can pick up scents. My hearing..."

His hearing? Feeling a little awkward now, you crossed your arms over your bare chest. Bucky pulled off the black boots he wore.

Turning his head, he watched you from the corner of his eye. "The abilities they gave me, made me the ultimate predator. There was no one I couldn't find anywhere in the world."

Shivering on your own bed, you just listened. Your mind was scrambling as empathy battled with fear. Bucky was a good man, wasn't he? Because it occurred to you that if you were wrong about him or things went badly, you couldn't hide from him. You couldn't run from him.

While your mind was throwing up red flags in the background, the need that coursed through your body intensified. You wanted him in the worst possible way.

"Back in the real world, my abilities aren't necessarily a good thing, doll," he said as he turned to face you on the bed. His fingers started undoing the buttons on his flannel shirt and you couldn't pull your gaze away from those quick movements. "I've been your neighbor for many weeks now. I've seen you so many times in passing, always in a hurry to be somewhere."

Bucky wasn't wrong. You weren't the most punctual person. Self-sabotage and procrastination often made you late, always had you scrambling to get where you needed to go.

A chill of anticipation ran up your spine when he pulled that dark blue flannel shirt free of his jeans and peeled it off. Your gaze was immediately drawn to all those muscles, the elegant black metal arm with threads of gold adorning it. There was scarring at the skin around that arm but it wasn't as bad as you'd expected.

"You've got this style about you," Bucky said. "I would think someone who wears so much black was either in mourning or trying to hide themselves, to blend into the background. But you're not hiding. You drive me crazy, every time I see you. I love those little skirts you wear, those stockings and combat boots. I love the blood red lipstick you wear, the little silver earrings..."

You had no idea he'd noticed you at all. As it was, at this moment, you were only wearing jeans. You edged back towards the center of your bed. Almost as if it were a predator's response, Bucky followed you. The ache between your legs only grew, had you trembling under that heated gaze.

"I wasn't trying to listen to you in your apartment, doll," he went on. "I really wasn't. I can't really help what I hear."

Hear? Your gaze moved from studying that arm, cutting off thoughts you shouldn't be having about that arm, to meet his. Your mind struggled to push thoughts through your aroused state, to think about what he just said. What did he not mean to hear in your apartment?

How were you supposed to be able to hold a thought with him on your bed with you? All those muscles and warm flesh. How would he feel in your arms? On top of you? Inside you? 

Bucky whispered your name softly. "Did you hear me?"

You nodded, at least you thought you did in your lusty haze. 

"What did you hear?" you asked. "In my apartment."

"Most nights, I just heard you moving around in your apartment." Bucky's intense gaze held yours. "You watching TV or making yourself dinner. A couple of nights a week, he came over. And then I got to listen to you make dinner, listen to him talk about himself, his day. It pissed me off so much that he never asked how your day was, never brought you flowers or cooked for you. He didn't treat you right, doll."

Bucky had heard a lot. But if he'd heard all that...

"Then..."

"Then?" you prompted him. "You listened to us..."

Bucky paused, and a hint of chagrin bled into his expression. One hand slid over your right ankle and with care, he pulled off that shoe.

"I wasn't trying to," Bucky explained, removing your other shoe before leaning over to place both on the floor by your bed. "It wasn't a lot different from listening to the two of you have dinner... It was all about him." 

You were somewhere between humiliation and shame. The look in those smoky blue eyes, the care you read there, lessened the sting.

"I'm not saying you did anything wrong or that anything is wrong with you," Bucky moved closer, crowding you into your pillows. "Every time he was in your bed, it was all about him. He got off. You didn't. Not one time." When you dropped your gaze, careful warm fingers under your chin put it back on him. "He never even noticed."

Tears stung the backs of your eyes. Every word he spoke was the truth. This time when Bucky moved closer, pressing you onto your back beneath him, you didn't inch away. Tears slid from the corners of your eyes as he hovered over you. Propping himself on his metal arm, his natural hand smoothed over the side of your face, brushing your tears away.

His heated gaze locked with yours as he settled next to you, one heavy thigh draped across yours. His hand slid down to cover your right hand, his fingers lacing with yours. With care, he leaned over and began kissing you. The hand he captured, he moved to his head and you were fine with that, sliding your fingers through the satiny locks of dark hair. His shift in position had his thigh between yours now and you weren't going to lie, the way he nudged it up into your melting center made the ache worse. So good...

Bucky's kisses went to your head like good whiskey, sending ripples of heat and euphoria racing through your bloodstream. Your thighs clamped around that muscled thigh as his lips danced with yours, gently but demanding all the same. When he dropped some of his weight on you, you fought to breathe, vining around him to get more. Now both your hands were sliding through his hair as his lips blazed a trail across to your jaw then seeking out all the places that made you weak just under your ear. 

You'd pretty much disappeared beneath him, and you were loving it. He pulled a chorus of sounds from you as his mouth trailed down your neck, down to your chest. He chuckled at the way you whined when he moved off you.

"Shhh," he soothed. "I've got you."

When his lips surrounded one nipple, your hands clutched in his hair. You didn't have the time or wherewithal to consider how careful he was being or to remember how Denny more or less treated your breasts like stress balls. You were gasping as his lips and tongue teased the aching peak over and over. The desire he was stoking in you was unfamiliar, even in your private moments which was usually the only time you could find release. 

Your body had a mind of its own. Your back arched, a wanton plea for more, more... It gave him easier access and he took it. Your thighs clutched his in desperation because you needed relief from the fire he was building in your body. The intensity of that delicate ache was climbing. His hot mouth moved to your other breast as both his hands, warm and warming metal, began roaming over your body like fever chills.

Bucky loved it when you pulled his hair. He groaned when you started pumping your hips rhythmically, begging him without words for more. You felt that raw sound all through your body, gasping as he moved further down. He was rough when he plucked open your jeans, yanking them down with your panties to reveal all of you to him. His gaze roamed over all your newly revealed curves, making you shiver as anticipation threatened to get the best of you.

Without a thought, you slid a hand down to your own swollen, soaked flesh. Watching him licking his lips as you showed him how you worked your clit had you on the edge of the cliff...

"No, you don't." Bucky's voice was low and rough. 

Batting your hands away, he dove for you with his mouth. His lips and tongue in that tender flesh had you climaxing in seconds, wailing into the quiet of your bedroom. His hands wrapped around your thighs, holding them open as he really went to work, teasing you through the orgasm in a way that kept you flying, kept you riding that wave the way you rode his tongue. You couldn't move your lower body, couldn't get away from the onslaught of pleasure he was subjecting you to. 

You writhed wildly on the bed in his clutches. The sight of his dark hair, the locks dancing around your thighs as his mouth took you apart would be forever seared into your memory. The way he teased you relentlessly until you came a second time on the tip of his tongue had the world spinning around you. Your nipples were hard, aching peaks in your hands, your back arching wildly as he worked you through it.

Jesus. Would you survive this?

When all sensation stopped, you lay trembling on your bed like you'd been hit by lightning. Bucky scrambled to undo his jeans, shoving them down his body with haste as you watched him with hungry eyes. As soon as his cock was freed, you were staring, marveling at its size. Your hand slid around that heated stalk of flesh, warm velvet in your grasp. He was bigger than Denny or anyone else you'd been with. You were excited and nervous all at once. How was that going to feel?

As if he could read your mind, Bucky came back up to you. His shadow swallowed you again as he kissed your lips and gave you a taste of your own lust from his shiny lips. It only pushed your desire higher, had you winding yourself around him eager for more. When you reached between your bodies for him again, Bucky captured your hand and thwarted your efforts.

"Doll," he whispered against your lips. "I want you so much... But I need to slow down a little here. Okay? It's everything I can do not to come right now. And you're so small..."

"Please," was the only word you could get out.

"M'gonna take care of you," he whispered. "I promise... I'm treating you right."

You couldn't conjure an ounce of humiliation now. You did need more of him. You wanted all of him.

Taking himself in hand, he slid the swollen head of himself through your slippery folds back and forth. Each pass was a soft brush against your clit, a shot of pleasure to take your breath away. You held onto him as he slowly pushed into you, his breath a heated rush just like yours. 

And he was huge. You sucked in a breath as he kept pushing into you. It helped that he had you soaking wet, but feeling your pussy walls stretch around him was intense. The slightest pain blended with a sensation of fullness that had your thighs quivering around his. His blue-eyed gaze stayed on you as he kept going, watching you for any signs of distress. 

By the time he reached the end of you, you were on that ledge again. The only thing that kept you from sailing off that cliff now was the fact that he'd stopped moving. Bucky's body was still inside you as your body stretched around him.

Bucky's eyes were squeezed shut, his mouth slack above you.

"Are you okay?" he whispered.

Aside from feeling almost split in two in the best way possible, you were pretty fucking far from okay. You were squirming beneath him, hands clutching at his hair, at the damp muscles of his back. When you slid your hands down to the firmness of his ass, you squeezed. You needed him to move. You needed him to ride you like you were going somewhere.

"Don't...stop," you managed, fighting for air. "Please."

"Look at me," he whispered.

And you did, opening your eyes to meet his gaze.

"Does anything hurt?" Bucky asked, sounding as wrecked as you felt.

You shook your head frantically. "Please."

Because you weren't sure you were going to survive if he didn't start moving soon. You were burning from the inside, your lower body stretched around his cock, quivering in need sharper than anything you'd experienced so far. When you raked your nails up his back, you hoped he'd take the hint and take you. Destroy you. 

Slowly, he started moving and it was everything you craved. Bucky's cock was hitting places inside you that left you breathless. His body was heavily muscled, pressing yours into the mattress. All you could do was hang on as his thrusts sped up. Bucky wasn't fucking you. He was claiming you. It was in the tender possession of his hands that skimmed over your body. The sweet caress of his lips over your face and shoulders, dropping on your skin like warm summer rain.

And all the while, he made you take his cock, filling you again and again with thrusts that were driving you insane. When your inner walls began to quiver around him, you braced yourself for a release that was approaching so fast. Your heart hammering against his, Bucky sped up.

"Let go for me," he purred in your ear. 

You didn't have a choice. This time, you buried your face in his chest to muffle the scream. And Bucky kept going as you rode that wave, pleasure pulsing through your body as he began chasing his own end. Your name was a prayer on his lips as his movements quickened, desperate now instead of careful. At the last second, Bucky pulled himself free of you, his come spurting over your tummy, your thighs. There was a lot of it, hot and thick drizzled over your skin. Bucky looked so beautiful above you, lost to the same pleasure he'd just drowned you in as he worked himself with his hand.

Your eyes slid closed, you struggled to breathe. You couldn't remember the last time you felt so sated after sex, so fulfilled. 

"I hope that smile is for me," Bucky said softly, using his flannel to clean his spend from your skin. 

You were smiling. You were happy. But as your skin cooled, you shivered. Bucky tucked you under the covers, climbing under with you to stretch out on his back. When you moved close for cuddles, his right arm pulled you to him. You loved the steady beat of his heart below your ear, the sheer warmth of him.

"Sleepy," you murmured. "Will you stay?"

Denny had stayed after sex but he'd immediately turn his back to you and get on his phone. You didn't know Bucky's intentions but you were hoping he might want to stay the night.

"I'll stay," his voice was rough and sleepy. 

You held each other in the cool quiet of your bedroom. Bucky only moved you to turn out the lamp. Maybe now that it was dark, you felt a little braver.

"You said... that sex wasn't the only thing you wanted with me," you reminded him. "What did you mean?"

Bucky pressed a kiss into your hair. "I meant just that. Not that the sex wasn't good because it was amazing..."

Your heart skipped happily in your chest at that.

"But it's not all I want from you," Bucky said in the darkness. "I want to get to know you. I want to talk over breakfast in the morning and eat leftover candy." His fingers traced circles around your shoulder and arm. "I want to wait for you to get off work at the florist and take you on a date. I want to have hot chocolate and watch it snow outside together."

Snuggling closer, you smiled. It all sounded wonderful to you. And if sex was that good on top of it?

"Is that yes?" Bucky asked.

"Yes," you whispered. "But... do you think we can do what we just did again before breakfast in the morning?"

His sigh was a happy sound. 

"Doll, we can do anything you want," Bucky whispered.

@valsworldofcreativity @21stcenturywitchcraft @coconutqueen21 @bval-1 @caffiend-queen @sadlittlecountess @candy-and-writing @capsicle-shield @chaoticfiretaconerd @chrisevansgirl @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @coldmuffinbanditshoe @daughterofthenight117 @hv-chw3 @iheartsebstan @imanuglywombat @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @justrae9903 @lokislastlove @mariaenchanted @maxwelllee2020 @nekoannie-chan @nerdwholikesword @notyourtypicalrose @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho @peaceinourtime82 @rainbowkisses31 @rayofdawnworld @richonne4life @rissysthoughts-blog @saiyanprincessswanie @scarletsoldier21-blog @shygirl-00 @supernaturaldean67 @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @team-iron-wannabe-man @titty-teetee @tonib666 @villanellev @vitamingummies @what-is-your-plan-today @what-is-your-wish @xoxabs88xox @rosalynshields @naturalthrone22 @marvelovernfan @gotnofucks @eralen @kawairinrin @bluemusickid @geminievans1 @daughterofthenight117 @sunmoonandbuckyrecs @jesevans @kandis-mom @salvatoreitmeanssaviour @kmc1989 @curiousandjoyous @marvelouslyme96 @texmex

[scoonsaliciousupdates]

Unwanted: Chapter 23, Undressed - Pt. 6

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mentions of alcohol consumption, mentions of sex, human trafficking.

Word Count: 455

Previously On...: You made a Bad Decision :(

A/N: You know what, I didn't realize how short these parts were! Let's get into Chapter 24 today, too, shall we?!

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc

“And where the hell have you been?” Sam asked when you eventually walked back into the apartment. “I’ve been calling you for hours!”

“Out,” you said simply, putting your bag down on the side table.

Sam approached you, leaning in close to study your face. “Are you drunk?!” he asked.

“What are you, my mother?” you scoffed as you moved past him and into the kitchen. You were still drunk, so you needed to pour yourself a glass of water to mitigate the hangover you’d no doubt have in the morning.

“Pocket,” Sam followed you and leaned on the counter as you sat on one of the kitchen island stools, “we’re on assignment. You can’t go off for hours without telling me to get plastered!” 

He was right, you knew that, but your pride, and the alcohol, wasn’t going to let you admit it. “Forgive me for taking a few hours off,” you snapped back at him. “Shaking my ass for intel is exhausting, and I deserved a break.”

“Don’t pretend this is because you wanted a ‘break,’” Sam said. “You freaked out because of Bucky and you ran off to spiral.” His voice softened. “But you can’t do that, Baby Girl. Not right now. Not when women are counting on us.”

Oof. That got you where it hurts. “Did you relay the info I gave you?” you asked him, hoping to avoid any further discussion of your transgressions. If he found out you’d also gone out for a fuck with a complete stranger, he’d be livid.

“Yeah,” Sam said, and you were grateful he seemed willing to let it go, as well. “They think it’s a promising lead, and they’re gonna have… some people look into it.”

Some people. Safe words for Barnes and Carthage, no doubt, given they had the most experience with Hydra. 

“You did good, Baby Girl,” Sam added.

You nodded, suddenly exhausted. You stood from your stool and picked up your glass of water. “I’m gonna go to bed. Night, Sam.”

You were almost out of the room when Sam called your name. You turned to look at him. “I don’t know if I should be telling you this or not, but, you should know– he was yelling at her to leave him alone, says she won’t stop following him around the Tower. He keeps tryin’ to avoid her, doesn’t want her near him, but she keeps poppin’ up like a bad penny.”

You didn’t need to ask who he was talking about. 

“You’re right,” you said, turning to walk away again, and feeling utterly drained. “You shouldn’t have told me. It’s too little, too late now, and he only has himself to blame for it. I’m tired of caring.”

<- Previous Part / Next Chapter ->

[stonylovessteve]

2024 Creator Reveals

We’ve reached the end of the exchange and that means it’s time to reveal the creators of all our works.

Thank you for putting so much love and effort into Stony Loves Steve 2024, you really made it a great experience. We hope everyone loved it as much as we did!

Giftees, be sure to leave a comment and kudos on your gift if you haven’t already. All our creators worked hard to make this event a success, so show them some love.

You can now post your work publicly outside of the exchange. Tag it as #stonylovessteve2024 on tumblr and we’ll reblog you. @ us @stonylovessteve on twitter and we’ll retweet you.

Below the cut is the final list of all the works produced for the exchange and the creators.

Still Halfway Human, Just Going Through It by Becci_chan for soliloquent (MCU, 9.9k Words)

Stark Industries was still an incredible place to work. Everyone seemed so dedicated and smart and ambitious, it truly reminded him of Howard and his vision for the future. Steve had even seen Tony Stark a few times in passing or when he made his rounds and talked to Steve’s superior in the office, but he hadn’t talked to him more than a greeting in passing. He wasn’t even sure Tony, who insisted on being called by his first name, had actually noticed him during these times. Steve had noticed him all the more.

Give me the luxuries of life by BladeoftheNebula for Thahire (MCU, 4.9k Words)

Four times Steve reluctantly dabbles in a little luxury + one time he leans into it wholeheartedly

Hot Bouncer by Infinitywrites for Becci_chan (MCU, 2.7k Words)

‘Hey Steve, We had a very interesting last night. Love to stay and elaborate on that but have to take my playful pet baby – Toothless  for a run. Left some hangover cure you might need. Feel free to use the shower or anything else you need. Be back soon. T.S”

The Long Game by betheflame for waywardmillennial (MCU, 2.6k Words)

Steve prided himself on being a patient man, he really did. He had stared down Nazis, and HYDRA officers, and the British Press on that one horrible media tour. He could spend hours plotting strategies for situations which may never happen but might, and he had been known to accompany Pepper on her stress-relief shopping trips. Steve could hold his tongue. Steve could outmaneuver his opponent. Steve could play the long game. That last donut broke all of that.

not a lot, just forever by Thahire for AirlocksandAviaries (MCU, 2.7k Words)

A few months after the Battle of New York, Tony invites Steve over to see the apartment he has built for him. Steve, of course, is totally normal about this and not panicking at all.

give me your number (i’ll give you mine) by ishipallthings for BladeoftheNebula (MCU, 1.2k Words)

Somehow, Tony freaking Stark showing up at the store isn’t Clint’s biggest shock of the day.

Cap’s Comics by sadieb798 for robertdowneyjjr (AA, Comic)

The local newspaper/magazine/online publication runs a comic about the Avengers — from thwarted robberies to statues come to life, they are sort of like funny little recaps of the team’s latest missions that New Yorkers have witnessed. Then the comics start becoming more��� domestic, showing the Avengers at home during game nights and weekend brunch. There are even a few where Cap and Iron Man go on a date together. The team comes across these comics and no one realizes Steve’s the artist. After all, the drawings are barely better than stick figures, and Steve’s art is much more refined than that… right?

i live in a city that lives in a different age by soliloquent for ohjustpeachy (MCU, 10.8k Words)

Steve Rogers has fourteen days to complete fourteen therapy homework assignments.

Five Times Steve Woke Up Early (And One Time He Didn’t) by AirlocksandAviaries for ABrighterDarkness (MCU, 8.3k Words)

Steve’s not actually a morning person, despite his body’s insistence. It’s quite possibly the one thing about the serum he’s not immensely grateful for. Forcing himself up and on a run to burn through the overwhelming, restless energy that builds bright and early would be much more tolerable if it were a few hours later. Tony decides to do something about this.

Steve is a (Wonderful) Person But A Terrible Patient by Neverever for sadieb798 (MCU, 3.5k Words)

Tony is assigned a new patient, Steve Rogers, who has a lot of medical issues and Tony is ready to help. But he finds he has something to learn from Steve.

Come With Me by ChocolateCapCookie for meidui (MCU, 3.4k Words)

“Do you have any plans for the weekend?” asked Tony. “Besides trying to volunteer at every charity in New York, of course.” Or the one in which Tony isn’t sure if Steve is a stalker or just a really, really good guy.

I surrender to you(only you) by captainstars for AvengersNewB (MCU, 1.6k Words)

He doesn’t know if the first time is a mistake. The phone rings. The sound is so unnatural that Steve almost doesn’t answer it. And then he scrambles for it, but the finger that presses on the answer button is still impossibly gentle. ‘Steve,’ Tony mumbles. Steve squeezes his eyes shut. It’s late in the night, but no one in the compound sleeps. It’s quiet nevertheless, and for a moment the only response Tony gets is Steve’s rasping breaths as he tries to gather what is left of himself.

Courting the Old Fashioned Way by zappedbysnow for Infinitywrites (AU, Art)

There’s a new mechanic in town. He bought a small ranch and fixes cars on the side. Steve is just being neighborly, welcoming him with some pie. It has nothing to do with the guy being cute. Nope. Not at all.

in the laundry room by wingheads for captainstars (616, Art)

steve isn’t so much ashamed by getting caught holding tony’s underwear in his hand as he is aroused by catching tony secretly wearing his jacket.

my curse is that I bill by the hour by picturecat for Fluffypanda (MCU, 5.5k)

Steve Rogers, the 21st century, and his no-good, really awful, legitimately-cursed first week in it.

(you look so lovely) running through my head by robertdowneyjjr for tinystark616 (MCU, 5.9k)

All his life, Steve has dreamed of a gorgeous brown-eyed brunet genius who’s too smart for everyone around him. Everything points to these being soulmate dreams, but that doesn’t make any damn sense when it seems like Tony’s in some far off future and Steve is just trying to get through a life of illness and poverty in 1930’s Brooklyn. Against all odds, they meet anyway.

In the Depths by waywardmillennial for WikketKrikket (MCU, 5.1k)

Prompt: Steve gets pranked on national TV as part of a charity TV fundraiser. It’s embarrassing, and leaves him feeling shaken in a way he didn’t anticipate. But it was for a good cause. So he’s fine with it. Really.

you’ve really missed a trick when it comes to love by meidui for ChocolateCapCookie (MCU, 2.3k)

Steve thinks he’s happier than he’s ever been, or at least he should be. This is the closest he’s ever come to having everybody he loves in one place and the Compound doesn’t echo with emptiness anymore, and he’s seen more of Tony in the past few months than he has in the last seven years. He’s still getting used to being with Tony again, this softer, older version of him, and how difficult that makes keeping his hands to himself because all he wants to do is touch him.

good enough for you by tinystark616 for Neverever (MCU, 4.6k)

Steve is having self-esteem issues because he feels like he isn’t good in bed. Tony finds out and decides to do something about it.

All I Need by VenomousSoliloquy for purpleicedteas (MCU, Art)

Sometimes Steve finds himself lost in doubt. Tony always knows exactly what he needs.

Summer Whispers by ABrighterDarkness for starksnack (MCU, Art)

Tags include ‘horseback riding’ but there is no provided summary.

my plus one has a plus four by starksnack for zappedbysnow (MCU, 7k)

five first date attempts + one first date

Magnum Opus by FrankTheSnek for wingheads (MCU, 6.3k)

Magnum opus (noun): a great work; a large and important work of art, music, or literature, especially one regarded as the most important work of an artist or writer. Steve does not believe in true mates, they are just an old wives’ tale. The man he has been dreaming of and turned into his greatest masterpiece is just an imagined muse and nothing more… Right?

Now and Then by Wikketkrikket for picturecat (3490, 10.6k)

Things haven’t been right between Steve and Natasha since she got back from a business trip overseas. How did things go so wrong, and can Steve make them right again? Also; they’re trapped in a basement.

Just Right by AvengersNewB for LadyGigi (MCU, 2.3k)

Omega Steve wears sexy lingerie, even though he’s deeply insecure about the way he looks in it. Alpha Tony is there to show him how perfect he is; wearing the lingerie and in general.

I’m on fire, but I’m trying not to show it by Fluffypanda for FrankTheSnek (MCU, 2.3k)

Steve misses being an omega. Tony helps him out with that.

Wish You Were Here by One and Five Nines for ishipallthings (MCU, 1.8k)

Steve starts sending Tony postcards

[Comic] Man Out of Time, Fish Out of Water (Prologue) by LadyGigi for VenomousSoliloquy (MCU, comic)

Mermaid Steve is swimming to the ocean surface with a bag full with human trinkets for his friend, Sam, to demystify when he comes across a red comet in the sky- at least that is what it looks like until it flies over him, revealing its humanlike form, and crashes into the water near the human island. Steve must decide if he will heed the warnings of his kind or investigate this once in a lifetime occurrence.

[peacefulpianist]

Hi there! Welcome to my masterlist. Each piece has its individual warnings at the top, above the read more cut, most pieces are 18+ so far.

My AO3

Thing I can't believe I have to say already:

1) Do NOT post my work on other sites please (the only places I post them are here and AO3, both under the same name),

2) I absolutely do NOT give my permission for any of my work to be fed to any form of AI/chatbot software etc. Please don't do this.

Now that's over with, enjoy!

The Green Dress:

Part One w/c: 4.2k

When Stark invites you last minute to one of his infamous parties, you've not got many options on hand to wear until Nat suggests you wear the green dress you had bought months ago. Perhaps it will be enough to inspire a certain god to finally make his move.

Part Two w/c: 2.3k

The smutty end to your night together. 18+

Quarantined:

Quarantined w/c: 4.8k

After an intel mission on a new neurotoxin that hydra may have, you and Loki are forced to quarantine together when it's discovered you may have encountered a new virus. 18+

Not Fair:

Not Fair

Loki overhears you complaining about the inadequacies of your latest lover to Nat and Wanda one night, and decides it's time for him to show you how they do it in Asgard. Inspired by the Lily Allen song 'Not fair' after rediscovering it the other day after a conversation with a friend. 18+

Sculpt me like one of your French girls:

Sculpt me like one of your French girls

Your friend Lena has brought you along to one of her pottery classes, convinced that the teacher is your perfect man. She's not wrong. 18+

Honey, are you coming?:

Honey, are you coming?

You find yourself thinking back on the night you and Loki got together for the first time, the teasing, the flirting, the dancing and of course the fucking...

Loosely based of the Maneskin song 'Honey, are you coming', I'd recommend listening to it as you read if you feel like it. 18+

I'm currently open to taking requests, but reserve the right to turn any down if I don't feel comfortable writing it :)

Reblogs and comments are HUGELY appreciated, and I welcome any thirst over our favourite god and actor.

I'm open to any constructive criticism of my writing as I'm still new to it and have much to learn, just as long as it truly is constructive.

If you wish to be added or removed from my tag list please let me know, as always there will be no hard feelings or questions asked 🥰

(also please let me know if any of the links don't work, I'm still new to the creating posts side of Tumblr)

-Peacefulpianist x

[dangerouslyintofictionalloves]

(Bucky Barnes) A Little Messed Up #1

Warnings: Hey y'all this short story is not gonna be a cute or romantic plot. Just wanted to warn y'all that this short fanfic is more of a breakup plot between the two characters.

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of Violence, Cheating, Arguments, Threats, Angst

Also I wrote this years ago, so it has been sitting in my wattpad unpublished dungeon for ages. I just thought that I'd give everything I ever wrote more of a chance to shine on Tumblr to see how it does.

For some reason I just feel more comfortable publishing things here. Even if I have multiple versions or drafts of a story.

Also all gifs included are from @k-fangirledits unless it's linked to the original wattpad post then idk where that gif came from.

Main OC Character Dahlia

Plot: Dahlia is Bucky's girlfriend. They met when he had just escaped HYDRA. She helped keep him hidden. Being a secret little goodie goodie she never really got to do anything exciting with her life so she saw this as a chance to live her life well and help someone along the way. After a while of training and recruitment once Bucky and Dahlia become part of the Avengers things are not seemingly going smooth as Natasha and Bucky are sent out on a mission together and he comes back distant. This triggers powers in Dahlia that she hadn't used since her childhood when she was going through a dark time dealing with bullies, and judgement. 

Dahlia snickered to herself as she sat at the island in the kitchen.

Bucky hadn't attempted to contact her in the month that he had been gone.

On a mission with Natasha, and yet Nat is the only one out of the two that cares to give her updates of their well being and how the mission is going.

Apparently Bucky had been spending time going to the bars then coming back late in the night. Thinking he was slick and that Natasha wouldn't notice his change in behavior.

To Natasha, she thought he was absolutely insane and such an asshole to neglect his GIRLFRIEND whom is patiently waiting for him back at home.

This bullshit decision of not notifying the wonderful woman that she considers a sister who is also his GIRLFRIEND.

Phone Call:

Natasha: What do you want me to do Li? Should I confront him and beat his ass for you? 

Dahlia: No. Don't do anything out of the ordinary. Keep me in the loop like you have been and we will see if there's anything truly going on. 

Natasha: Li, he's been coming home with the obvious scent of a woman. Are you sure? It's difficult for me to report this back to you but I want to be as honest as possible.

Dahlia: That's fine Nat. Be honest, I don't want you to sugarcoat anything from me. I am a grown, adult woman and I can handle it. If that's the verdict from your position, once you arrive back at base I'll handle this. We'll see if he comes clean about his choices. 

Natasha: Alright, but only if you're sure sweetheart. I gotta go before they get suspicious of my phone call being too long for just a bathroom break. I love you to the moon and back. See you soon darling. 

Dahlia: Love you too Nat.

End of Call

Unbeknownst to Dahlia her eyes had lost their shine.

The whites of her usually glowing brown eyes, now replaced by a dark abyss matching her pupils.

She glanced down at her hands surprised seeing a dust like dark mist floating around. Similar to when Wanda activates her power but more fluid and constantly there. 

Dahlia wasn't known for any special power with her position in the Avengers.

She never knew how to control her powers growing up.

The only aspects she knew how to control was manipulating shadow people and manifesting them into a physical form, telekinesis, and hiding herself within the shadows.

Any other power she held only came out with impulse based on her emotional and mental state.

Although she couldn't control her powers unless they were triggered. She has no control over when it activates. 

Startled by the footsteps coming towards the kitchen, Dahlia quickly hid in the shadows escaping to her bedroom without anyone actively seeing her abilities.

Unfortunately for the young woman, even that attempt to hide anything from Friday had already been captured and alerted Tony and Captain Rogers.

Saying they were shocked while reviewing the security footage would be a heavy understatement.

"She h-has powers? I- I- I th-thought she was just a simple assassin." Tony stammered.

Steve sighed wishing they could listen to the audio but Dahlia had always requested for Friday to keep every single conversation she has muted for her comfort and privacy as a condition on her staying with the Avengers.

Steve sighed as he continued watching the footage on a loop.

The more he watched

The more he noticed little things in her behavior tells.

Her body language, the tears that started streaming down her face before her powers triggered, the tense posture.

By that alone, he already knew that whatever triggered her abilities to manifest, started with an intense emotional reaction.

Whatever it was, he was determined to make sure that she would never have to go through that again for her powers to trigger. She just needed time to herself, and the right training in order to get everything under control.

Dahlia sat on the floor in her room with her legs up to her chest. She buried her face in her knees, taking deep breaths to calm down. Once her anger subsided she felt her eyes morph back to normal. 

A gentle tap on her arm shocked Dahlia out of her position as she jolted herself back away from the unknown force.

Catching herself against her palms she looked at the figure that was kneeling in the middle of the room to match her height, making sure she knew it meant no harm. "Shit." She whispered. 

With a wave of her hand the shadow figure had manifested into someone she hadn't needed to see for 15 years.  

"Heya gorgeous, been a long time." Xander greeted.

Dahlia looked at him with tears in her eyes as she realized why he had become part of the physical part of her life again.

She was going  through a dark time, so her inner darkness would always come out to protect her when she couldn't be reliable to do so herself. 

Xander looked down at the young woman with a determination to make her feel better.

"Come on gorgeous, we haven't seen each other since we were seven years old and I helped beat up the bullies. I'm only here now since you're going through a big turning point in your life and you can't lock yourself away from socializing to someone. You'll only drive yourself crazy trying to isolate from any form of society." He conveyed.

Dahlia let his words sink in.

It hurt to admit but he was right.

Seeing as she was still processing this new information Xander took this moment to bring her to bed.

Being well acquainted with the young woman, he laid next to her on the bed, pulling her close to his chest for comfort. 

Dahlia automatically snuggled into Xander's chest. She missed having her best friend around. When she was young, he came and went so quickly that she always wondered if he was just a dream at times.

After a moment she pulled away slightly to observe her friend that she had not been in contact with for a while.

"What happened to you?" She whispered, referring to the scars on his face.

Xander took one of her hands in his, separating her fingers gently. It was a sweet gesture, something they did when they were young to help him or her focus on any difficult conversation.

"Just because you may think I don't exist when I am not in your physical world doesn't mean I'm not a real entity at least Dahl. When I'm not here to protect you, to help you, to comfort you. I go back to the shadow world, a void, and when you are going through issues in your life... I form scars. Depending on how much it has impacted you. As the main shadow figure in charge to protect you, our bond is just that powerful." He explained. 

The entire night Xander had explained to Dahlia what her powers are and how to control some of them up until she fell asleep.

He sighed sadly seeing the tear stains along her cheeks. He had never observed her so happy before until she had met Bucky. Never seen her so broken until Bucky. 

Xander watched over the young woman as she slept. Manipulating her dreams to something more peaceful whenever he sensed her heart rate picking up in pace.

That was the norm for Xander.

Always making sure that her escape from reality was as comfortable as possible. 

[cybercybertron]

Do NOT interact with this rp post unless you're well and truly interested in an Earthspark rp. I will reach out to you if you like it.

Once again, I am looking for an Earthspark rper! The right one has to be 18+ as I am older than 20 and it just feels weird to rp with younger people. I'm also an absolute sucker for darker shit. One of my main ocs has involvement with Overlord and Garrus-9. Echo's not out of the wood either since Croft has done some...shady things to control her.

My perfect rper would be active daily, or at least semi-daily since I'm aware that people have lives, of course. I do get nervous when my friends go offline for a day+ since I've had online friends just suddenly up and randomly disappear forever before. I do tend to get excited if it's an rp that has promise so I do have the tendancy to spam (also autistic, so please bare with me on that).

I rp semi-literately, but sometimes my replies do lag a bit. I prefer third person. I also prefer both cannons AND ocs since I hate having to write everyone outside of fanfics.

Hydra is a Megop kid so it's a MUST to be ok with that. I've had a few promising rpers get turned off by that and since she's so integrated with their relationship it's non-negotiable.

I do prefer to rp on Discord, but I like to figure things out on tumblr. I have such a long friend list and most of those are failed rps that never got past the planning phase. Oh, speaking of I should add that I don't like planning past the starter. I'm more of a, "let's see where things go" type.

[iasmelaion]

WIP Tag Game

Rules: Share a snippet from whatever you’re currently working on, and then tag 5 people.

tagged by @firstelevens

tagging @pairofraggedclaws, @pineapplecrushface, @lugarn, @technicallyverycowboy, but no pressure! (also, wow, truly do not remember ANYONE's tumblr usernames without the little icon photos there to prompt me, damn. that took way longer than it should have /o\ )

Thank you for tagging me @firstelevens because it is providing me with the extra bit of motivation I need to finish up this ridiculous silly fic that started as a comment fic but that I just kept noodling away at because I didn't feel like working on anything else, lol. The prompt for this, for the record, was "vampire bucky au" and this is...not at all that, lol. These are, alas, the things that happen when you give me a prompt.

It's entirely Sam's fault that Bucky's first thought on realizing he’s been captured by vampires is: well, these guys aren't part of the big three. His second thought is: if vampires have been a thing all this time and no one fucking told me, I'm going to be so pissed. What the fuck else is real? Fairies? Wolfmen? Goddamn Sasquatch??

Ugh, if he survives, Bucky is never going to live this down. In his defense, how the fuck was he supposed to fight against fog. Bucky had been minding his own business, headed back to his apartment after acquiring some late-night take out, and he’d had about a second to think, that’s weird, it wasn’t foggy out earlier and then, when the fog did not move in fog-like ways, well, that’s not fog, but it doesn’t smell like any kind of gas either and then the damned vampires had coalesced out of the fog and surrounded him before he could run. 

“What the fuck are you?” he’d asked, baffled and pissed, and one of them had smiled, showing off some pretty gnarly and pointy teeth.

“We are vampires, of course.”

Then Bucky had felt the chill of fog behind him and a prick in his neck, and passed out, only to wake up on a plane.  

At least the vampires are polite. No one has tortured him so far, or even sucked his blood, and whatever they’ve drugged him with, it’s honestly kind of pleasant once he wakes up properly. He feels floaty and hazy and not particularly interested in breaking his bonds, not that he has any escape options other than jumping out of the plane, and anyway, this plane is even nicer than Zemo’s plane. Like, sure, his hands and feet are bound at the wrists and ankles, but he’s on a really comfy leather seat, and they’ve given him some water.

Also, and most importantly, the vampires don't appear to be especially tech-savvy. While he can’t feel his phone in his pocket anymore, no one has noticed Bucky twist the tip of his vibranium pinky, one of his panic button options, and one no one ever thinks to look for or prevent because it involves a motion that’s not physically possible in a flesh and blood pinky, not without breaking it, and definitely not independently. God bless Shuri’s cleverness in coming up with that one. Anyway, if Bucky’s got even a scrap of luck left, Sam is already on his trail. 

Though, fuck, it's not like Sam's gonna be prepared for vampires, what with them not being one of the big three and all. Bucky will have to gather what intel he can. Since they haven’t gagged him, he figures he might as well ask some woozy but totally reasonable questions.

“So…do you know Dracula?” he asks the vampire sitting across from him.

He doesn’t look much like a vampire at the moment, just an average white guy, apart from the eerie golden shade of his eyes.

“No,” says the vampire, lip curling slightly in what might be disgust, showing off the tip of a too-pointy canine.

“Do you, uh, want my blood?” Bucky asks. “A lot of people want my blood on account of how I’m a science experiment.”

The vampire blinks at him and frowns. “We do not want your blood.” Bucky tries and fails to place his accent. Dutch, maybe? Something European.

“Are you HYDRA?” asks Bucky. 

There’s no ostentatious squid-related branding or gloating about recovering the asset, so he doesn’t think so, but he figures he should ask.

The vampire wrinkles his nose. “Ugh, no,” he says. “We aren’t Nazis.”

“What do you want with me then?”

“We will not harm you. My master will speak with you soon,” says the vampire, and oh, that doesn’t bode well. “Sleep now,” continues the vampire, and Bucky wants to protest, but vampires have magic powers or what the fuck ever, he guesses, because he does in fact sleep.

It’s honestly kind of the best night of sleep he’s had in a while, so he’s in a pretty good mood for someone who’s been captured by vampires when he wakes up to being gently pulled out of a plush SUV and into the courtyard of—a castle? Bucky tries to crane his head up and around to get a feel for where the hell he is, but all he sees are starry skies and a lot of gray stone before he’s inexorably guided inside. While he’s no longer tied up or woozy, the vampires’ grip on him might as well be vibranium. He makes a tentative attempt to break free, just to gauge what it would take to escape, and is not encouraged by the results. He could do it, he thinks, but it would hurt. 

"Could we maybe talk about this?" tries Bucky, because it's what Sam would do, probably. "Do you have any demands, or am I in for yet another round of being experimented on or something? Because I'm not really into that. The third time is not the charm."

The vampires holding him are silent, and drag him down plushly carpeted, well-lit wide hallways into—what the fuck, is this a literal throne room?—where someone tall and pale and dark-haired is sprawled in the opulent seat at the other end of the room, at the far end of a long wooden table. The man looks familiar, and Bucky's about to start low-key panicking about this being more HYDRA bullshit, no matter what the vampire on the plane had said. Like, fuck, are HYDRA vampires now? Have they always been allied with vampires? He tries to make out what’s on the tapestries draped all over the walls, but then he gets closer and—

"Great Uncle Yakov?!" Bucky blurts out.

Because that man’s face is familiar—familiar as in family. They have the same damn dimple in their chin.

"James! It is wonderful to see you again!" says his surprisingly alive—undead? unalive?—great uncle, beaming in a way that shows off his pointy white canines.

[iriel3000]

2022 Friday Recs - Week 4

Happy Friday! Some reading recommendations for your enjoyment. No particular order and more to come.

Sooooo many good stories. It's like Clintasha authors just keep getting better and better!

Nothing to Lose (But Everything to Gain) by LadyofAvalon

There was nowhere left for Aaron to run. But for the first time since the Battle of Manhattan, he did not want to.

Doors of perception by Felize/@jeanbarton

“I’m not walking through that door!” It’s a statement. No space for discussion. If he wants to send her back to that dead world so she can spend the rest of her miserable existence in solitary, he can better kill her right here and now. Maybe if there is some sort of afterlife, she would be reunited with her friends then, her family… Clint. “Well… the door was more of a metaphor anyway.”

falling doesn't feel so bad when i know you've fallen this way too by strawberriesinmoominvalley/@strawberriesinmoominvalley

they've finally taken down hydra, after years of near-constant raids. all natasha and clint have to worry about is going to stark's party and going home to their kid. but when ultron goes wrong, and they're forced into a fight with a robot and two enhanced teenagers, where are they meant to turn? is it truly possible to get peace in their time, or are they fighting an indestructible force?

and will they all make it out alive?

You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else by AdaisyforDaisy

Natasha was burgundy, copper, canary, and iris. A color palette that makes sense to Clint and Clint only. When you love someone so hard, colors help to define what words can't.

tell me you love me (even if it's just a lie) by Oceanspirit9

She was a dying rose. Sunset dancing across her face. A porcelain doll, cracked open. Red in a pool of satin.

If you are one of the authors or know them on tumblr and they are not properly tagged, please let me know in comments and I'll add them. Please feel free to click the Iriel3000fridayrecs link below to browse more categories.

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 29, Unarmed, Redux - Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mentions of violence, death, talking about feelings, finally being honest and getting shit out there.

Word Count: 2.1k

Previously On...: Tony filled you in on what's happened since your showdown with Carthage.

A/N: Send in the Barnes!

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc

“Doll.” Your eyes shot open at the sound of Bucky’s husky whisper. He stood in the doorway, staring at you like he was seeing a ghost. He was still wearing the same clothes he wore when he’d rescued you– covered in dried blood, both yours and the Hydra agents he’d taken down. His right eye was a riot of black and blue bruises, nearly swollen shut, his lip cut.

“Hey, soldier,” you said softly. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“I’m surprised you wanted to see me at all, doll,” he said forlornly. “After everything I put you through, I’d be done with me if I were you.”

You offered him a soft half-smile. “Come here,” you said, using your good arm to pat the space on the bed next to you.

Bucky looked between you and the spot you indicated with confusion, as if he weren’t sure he’d heard your offer correctly. But he walked over to you like a man condemned, and you wondered briefly if he expected you to tell him you were well and truly done with him now. As if you could ever be. You were pretty positive by now that, in spite of everything, you truly couldn’t live without him.

Gently, so as not to jostle you, Bucky sat down on the bed, though making sure not to touch you. You weren’t going to have any of that, though, so you reached across with your good arm and tugged him toward you until he was snug against your left shoulder. It hurt a little bit, but it was worth it to have him close.

Bucky looked down at where your left arm should have been, tucked underneath your hospital gown and hidden from view, as it was, in its sling. “I see you’ve come unarmed, doll.” He offered a weak smile.

You threw your head back and laughed, and it felt so good to feel good in his presence again. “You got jokes, Barnes,” you teased, leaning your head against his shoulder. “Speaking of jokes, what the fuck happened to your face?”

Bucky raised a hand to his face, gently poking at the swollen tissue. “Little gift from Stark,” he said. “For everything I put you through. Can’t say I didn’t earn it.”

You frowned, moving your hand up to gently caress his cheek. “He shouldn’t have done that,” you told him softly. Bucky looked down at you. “I deserved it, doll. I deserved that and so much worse, for everything I did to you. You almost died– fuck, you did die, and it’s all my fault. If I hadn’t let Carthage think there could be something between us, if I hadn’t led her on, none of this would have happened. You never would have gotten hurt, never had your heart broken. We’d be getting ready for our baby, and I wouldn’t have betrayed you over and over again–”

“Baby,” you said, putting your hand gently to his lips so as not to disturb the cut, “Stop. I’m not saying you’re blameless, but it’s not all entirely your fault, either. Carthage… Carthage had a mission, same as Soldat had missions. Maybe she wasn’t wiped the way you were, still had some control over her own mind, but she was programmed to want to get you just as surely as Soldat was programmed to kill. She would have come for me, no matter what, because I was an obstacle to that mission. It wouldn’t have mattered, I don’t think, if you had never spoken to her. I was always going to be in her way.”

“That doesn’t mean I didn’t hurt you, though. In so many horrible ways.”

The two of you sat in silence for a moment, each lost in your own thoughts.

“How’re you holding up?” he asked eventually, gently petting your hair. “And I mean mentally, not physically.”

You sighed. “Everything happened so quickly, you know?” Bucky hummed in agreement. “It was like: Boom! Chloe died! Boom! Lost a baby, almost died! Boom! Kidnapped, beaten up! Boom! Shot, almost died! It all still feels like it happened to someone else, and I haven’t really had a chance to let myself feel it, you know?”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah, I get it. But when it does hit, it’s going to hit hard, I think.”

“Probably,” you agreed. “I think I need to find a new therapist that’s not an A.I.” you told him. “Not that Tony’s program isn’t great– I just… Did you know Carthage hacked into my session feeds?”

Bucky’s mouth dropped open in shock. “Fuck. Doll, that’s an awful violation of your privacy. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s… she… she took what she learned about me from my sessions, and she used them to manipulate you, to hurt us,” you told him.

Bucky tensed beside you. “What do you mean?”

“Her ‘advice’ to you?” you said. “About what she liked in bed, to spice up our relationship?” Bucky nodded slowly, and you could tell he was ashamed with himself at the memory. “Well, she tailored it specifically with what she knew would be most upsetting to me, what would hurt me the most, so I would be angry at you, be the most hurt by you.”

Bucky swallowed, and you noticed his fists clenching next to you. “And I played right into it,” he said, shaking his head. He was furious; at both Carthage and himself, you could see that. “I was so fucking stupid; I didn’t see what she truly was until it was too late, and I let her play me like a fiddle.”

“You wanted a friend who understood you,” you said. Yes, you were still hurt by everything that he’d done, and you probably would be for a long, long time, but the truth of it was, now that you’d seen what Carthage truly was, had witnessed the depths of her manipulation of him, your anger toward him had significantly abated. Maybe you were being foolish. Stupid, naive. Maybe you were making all the wrong decisions, but your heart was always going to pull you back to Bucky Barnes. He was a gravitational force you just couldn’t escape. 

“I had friends,” Bucky argued softly. “I have you, and Steve, and fucking Big Bird. I didn’t need her. Why did I think I needed her, Pocket?”

You shrugged, taking his hand in yours. “Hydra had you for 70 years,” you told him, “and during that entire time, you were alone. Surrounded by people, but you were all alone. It makes sense that you would seek out someone who, based on what we all thought we knew about her, had been through something similar. I mean, how could any of us understand, really, what sort of horrors you’d gone through, when you don’t even understand all of them, yourself?

“She came packaged as this perfect counterpoint to you. And we know she was trained– educated, basically, in how to get to you. She basically had a Master’s degree in Bucky Barnes.”

Bucky snorted. “It’s still not an excuse for my actions, doll,” he said.

“No,” you began carefully, “it’s not. But it’s a mitigating factor that will be used in determining your sentence,” you said with a small smile.

“Have to say, sweets, I’d been fully expecting a life sentence of you never speaking to me again.”

“Yeah, that was what the jury was initially thinking, but upon further review of the evidence, they may be willing to bring it down to time served and supervised probation going forward.”

He looked at you, eyes blazing with hope, but almost instantly, his face fell. “Doll, how can you say that? I fucking slept with her! How can you still want to be with me after that?”

You sat up a little straighter, slowly this time, so as not to disturb your injuries. “Did you know Jade recorded the two of you?” you asked him carefully. “In the Russian safehouse?”

Bucky went pale and moved away from you. “No,” he whispered. “No, I didn’t know that. Oh God, Pocket– did she… did she make you watch it?”

You nodded, and Bucky put his head in his hands. “Oh, fuck. Doll. I am so sorry. I never wanted you to see that. It was bad enough that it happened, but for you to have had to witness it–”

“Buck,” you pulled his hands away from his face. “Buck, it’s okay. I’m glad I saw it, actually.”

Bucky looked at you with wide, disbelieving eyes. “What?!” he asked. “How… how can you be glad?! I cheated on you, I broke your trust– again! How can that make you anything but disgusted with me?”

“Okay, let’s take this one step at a time,” you said, repositioning your hands so you could interlock your fingers with his. “First of all, it wasn’t cheating. We technically weren’t together, so you could have slept with whomever you wanted to. I don’t love that it was her, but we weren’t committed.”

“It felt like cheating,” Bucky bemoaned. “I hated myself the entire time.”

“I appreciate that,” you said. “But you need to know that, while I did hate that you slept with her, I would have gotten over that, eventually. That wasn’t what I was upset about, after.” 

“It was the lying and not telling you what happened after I got back,” Bucky offered, and you nodded. “I didn’t get your messages about the articles until after I’d done it,” he said. “And I felt like the biggest fucking idiot. Of course you never would have done that to me. You’ve always been too good for me. I think I was projecting my own guilt onto you, and that was so fucked up of me. I was so scared of losing you when you were willing to give me another chance, I just ended up pushing you further away.”

“It doesn’t help that you had a snake whispering in your ear,” you said. When he looked at you, confused, you continued: “I’m not absolving you of all guilt, because you still had autonomy; you still made your own decisions, but I saw how she fed into your insecurities, in the video. How she played up your fears, and used them to manipulate you. How she took your anger and disappointment and used it to her advantage. I also saw how you had to think about me in order to get it up for her,” you added with a smirk.

Bucky blushed. “Caught that, did you? I don’t think Carthage did; though I wasn’t trying to be subtle about it, to be honest.”

“No,” you said with a smile. “She didn’t catch it, and she most certainly wasn’t happy when I pointed it out to her. Was quite pissed when I laughed about it to her face.”

“Oh God,” said Bucky. “That must have infuriated her.”

“How’d you think I got the broken arm?” you asked cheekily. 

“That fucking bitch,” Bucky hissed between clenched teeth. 

“It was worth it,” you assured him. “She took your pain at what you thought I’d done, and she twisted it, made you a victim. I’d break all my bones if it meant she paid for what she did to you.”

“I don’t understand how you can be so forgiving about all of this,” he said.

You snorted. “Would you rather I just cut you out of my life forever?”

“No!” Bucky looked up at you, alarmed. “Never– I just… I just don’t understand how you can be so… okay about it, after everything.”

You shrugged. “Well, I did die; certain things seem trivial, now. Maybe I’ve got, like, ancient death wisdom or something.”

Bucky wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “Not funny,” he said, tugging you gently to him. “I’ve never been more scared in my life than I was when I thought I lost you.”

“I know,” you hummed. “You snapped Carthage’s neck.”

Bucky flinched. “I wish I could say I’m sorry I did that, but I’m not. I know I swore off killing a long time ago… but when it was you in danger? I don’t have any regrets. I’d do it again, even if it makes me the fucking monster everyone says I am.” 

“Thank you,” you said to him. 

“For what?” he asked. “Killing her?”

“For choosing me over her. When it really mattered.”

“Figured it was about time I started showin’ you I meant it, doll,” he said with a sad smile.

“And for what it’s worth,” you added, “I don’t think you’re a monster. I think you slayed one, and as far as I’m concerned, that makes you my hero.”

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[unseededtoast]

Rectify | Bucky Barnes

Part 18/37 | Part Seventeen, Part Nineteen

Summary: I've lived every day for the past five years looking over my shoulder. I knew they'd come for me, it was inevitable. I was foolish to think I could outrun my past. It's followed me everywhere I go, lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Never would I have anticipated that the shadows would lead me to the light.

Bucky Barnes x OC

Series Warnings: Discussion of human trafficking, alcohol consumption, graphic depictions of violence, sexual content, discussion of suicidal thoughts.

a/n: Hi everyone, thank you for checking this out, I appreciate any and all support! This series is also posted on Ao3 and Wattpad if you prefer those formats/platforms! This is a completed series, and it's going to take some time for me to transfer it to Tumblr, so please bear with me!

"Turns out Hydra still has a fascination for human experimentation."

I smile as I watch the plane land, they're finally back. Bucky stands beside me, shielding his eyes from the sun as he watches. The back of the plane opens, and Natasha is the first one to walk out. She looks tired. Steve is the next one out, followed by Bruce, Tony, and Fury. They all seem to be exhausted. As they walk towards the building I notice that Bruce is carrying a scepter of some sort, a bright glowing blue stone in the center.

They walk inside, Bruce keeps the scepter in his hand as we greet them. Natasha doesn't stay very long, she heads up to her room quickly. Steve and Bucky start talking about the mission, and I go to Bruce, curious about what he's brought back from the Hydra base.

"Did they have a gift shop?" I ask, gesturing towards the large, pointy scepter. Bruce laughs a little and shakes his head,

"No, no this is the scepter that Loki used when he invaded New York. The Hydra scientists were trying to dissect it and understand its capabilities. We decided it was probably better off in our hands, so now we're going to try to dissect it and understand its capabilities." Bruce explains and I nod, looking at the scepter again. It's bigger than I imagined, sharper too.

"Well this should be interesting." I say, intrigued by the idea of understanding an alien technology. I hope Tony and Bruce let me in on their studies, though I think Tony will need more persuading than Bruce. I see Fury walk outside and get back into the plane. Moments later the plane takes off again.

"Where's he going?" I ask, not understanding why Fury would leave as soon as he just got here.

"Well, the scepter wasn't the only thing we found at the base. Turns out Hydra still has a fascination for human experimentation. We detained two people, a brother and sister who both showed some interesting qualities. Fury is going to oversee their containment." Bruce explains. I feel like my heart dropped into my stomach, dreading what Hydra's next creation could possibly be.

"What sort of qualities?" I ask, interested to see if they're heading down the Winter Soldier path again, or if they've gone beyond that.

"Well, the man was fast, very fast. The woman has some sort of telekinesis ability, I've never seen anything like it." Super speed and telekinesis? That's a lot more advanced than I thought Hydra would be.

"That sounds like some serious stuff. You think they were going to try to use the scepter for enhancement purposes?" I ask, not knowing what they saw at the base.

"Possibly." Bruce answers, not entirely knowing either. I pick at the skin on my lower lip as I think about it, there's no way it's a coincidence that the scepter and enhanced people were found in the same base.

"I don't think it's a coincidence." I say, trying to recall everything I know of the Sokovian base, which isn't much at all.

"It was truly a lovely place, I might even take my next vacation there." Tony remarks and walks over to the wet bar. In an instant, it's as if the pieces fit themselves together and it all makes sense.

"No, it's definitely not a coincidence. The day this started, I was attacked in a parking lot. The Hydra agent who tried to kill me said they had moved past the work I had done, but needed what I had to finish their newest project. Their newest project was probably these new enhanced people, and they needed the programming guide I have to install it their minds and make them subservient to handlers." I explain my train of thought. Tony had paused from pouring himself a drink, Steve and Bucky stopped their conversation. I look around, waiting for someone to say something. Maybe I sound crazy, but I don't think it's too far-fetched.

"You could be right. It makes sense anyways." Bruce agrees with me. The weight of what could have happened hits me. If Hydra was able to install my programming in super-enhanced people, there's no telling the extent of damage it would create. This is just another reason to find a cure for Bucky, and then burn the book.

I wonder how the scepter fits into all of this, what role does it play in what was happening at the base? I know that it wasn't there by accident, nothing gets put in the Sokovian base by accident. I look at the glowing blue stone, feeling nervous about what we might find as we study it.

"They never stopped." Bucky says after a long pause of silence. He looks hurt, and sad. Steve puts his hand on Bucky's shoulder to comfort him.

It was foolish of me to think that Hydra would have stopped experimenting on people once I left. Although, I never visited the Sokovian base, so I'm not sure I had any impact at all on the experiments done there. Surely my work was known, otherwise they wouldn't have been looking for the programming guide. This is all bigger than I thought.

"When do we start studying it?" I ask, wanting to get started as soon as possible. It's been a while since I've done anything productive, I miss being in the lab.

"We can start today." Bruce says and looks to Tony for confirmation. Tony downs the rest of his drink and places the glass on the countertop.

"Yeah, that works." He says and walks towards the elevator. It's a nice surprise that Tony didn't protest my involvement for once.

Bruce and I follow him, leaving Steve and Bucky on the main floor. They could use some time together anyways, I don't need to constantly be there with them. They lived for years without me being there, I'm sure they won't miss me for a few hours. Tony presses the button to take us to the basement and the doors open to a vast laboratory. It's bigger than the lab back at the Shield compound. I see parts of Iron Man suits scattered around, some suits are stationed along the walls. They're incredible, I never thought I'd see one in person.

Bruce and Tony place the scepter on a table, and Tony pulls a hologram up. He instructs his artificial intelligence assistant, Jarvis, to analyze the scepter. I watch as the hologram scans and begins running tests on it. Tony starts putting things away, and Bruce stands with his arms crossed as he watches what's going on.

"What do we know about this already?" I ask, wanting to be up to speed with everything they might know about it. I might not be an expert in alien science, but I'm going to give it my best shot.

"Loki used this scepter when he invaded New York with the Chitauri. We know it has the ability to take over people's minds and make them slaves to the scepter's master. We don't know how it does it, or anything about it beyond that." Bruce tells me as I take a seat atop one of the tables.

Having the ability to take over people's minds intrigues me, and I cross my arms as I think about how that's possible. Taking over the mind is one thing, but to simultaneously tie that person to the scepter's master and subjugate them to the master's will is another thing entirely. But, now I know why it had value to Hydra. I rub my temples, trying to rationalize the science behind the stone, but falling short every time.

"It just doesn't seem like it should be possible. How can a stone dominate and manipulate a mind in the blink of an eye?" I question out loud hoping someone else, or myself, will miraculously come up with the answer.

"This is alien technology after all, maybe we should try thinking outside of the box." Tony joins the conversation and leans on the table I took a seat on. Jarvis continues running tests and scans of the scepter.

"Well, what do we know about the Chitauri?" I want to get a feel for who may have created this technology, though it's likely not to turn up much information.

"Not much. Just that they're an alien race, Thor told us they're from an unknown world." Bruce says, turning his back to the scepter to face Tony and I. So much for that avenue of thought.

It would have been nice if Hydra had any notes taken about the research they did. Knowing Hydra, if any notes exist they were taken by one person by hand in a single notebook. There's less chance of information leaks that way.

I wonder since the scepter has the ability to dominate one's mind if it's possible that the powers from the scepter granted the siblings' enhanced abilities. After all, super speed and telekinesis seem to be a very alien concept to me. If this is the case, it means that this technology is far more advanced than anything existent on Earth and can be very dangerous in the wrong hands, and perhaps even the right ones.

"What happened in Sokovia?" I broadly ask, curious about the mission as a whole as well.

"Bunch of Hydra agents, freaky siblings. Alien scepter." Tony summarizes for me, and I frown.

"Bruce?" I ask, knowing Bruce will give me a more substantive answer.

"We got there and the place was crawling with Hydra. There were more people than just the siblings there, but I don't think they were going to survive much longer. Whatever Hydra was doing it wasn't for the weak. Of course, that's just what Natasha told me, I couldn't exactly fit inside the base." Bruce tightly smiles, and I realize he was likely there as the Hulk, not Bruce Banner. I know Natasha went to her room and probably wants some space, maybe Steve can tell me more? I can wait until tonight to ask him, I don't want to interrupt his time with Bucky.

"Let's hope Jarvis can find something substantive." I say with a sigh, feeling overwhelmed with the technology on the table in front of me. It would be less daunting if we had a something solid to go off of, but we're starting at square one with the absolute bare minimum.

"He hasn't let me down yet." Tony says and walks away to go do something else while we wait.

I get off the table and walk around the lab. I inspect the Iron Man suits closely, appreciating the details of them. Tony has prototypes laying around all over the place, I bet he spends a good amount of time here when he isn't at Shield compounds.

As I look around at all the spare parts I notice the metal is all sorts of different colors. I wonder if it would be possible for Tony to remove the red star on Bucky's arm. The star isn't just red paint on the metal, it's dyed metal. If Tony is able to color his suits red and gold, perhaps he knows how to remove the color without damaging the arm. I look around and see Tony tinkering with some tools. I walk over to him and see he's working on some sort of blaster for an Iron Man suit.

"Hey Tony, I have a question." I say. I've never talked about this with Bucky, but I'm sure he's reminded of Hydra every day when he has to look at the red star. Tony looks up from his project,

"What is it?" He asks,

"Well, I see you have a lot of colored metal around, and I was wondering if you think it's possible to remove the coloring on Bucky's arm, the red star I mean." I ask, hoping he says yes and that it's an easy process.

"Yeah, I'm sure I can find a way to remove it, give me like a half hour." He says and gets up to go to another part of the lab. I follow behind him and watch as he mixes liquids together and has Jarvis run tests to see if the concoction is strong enough to break the color molecules and remove them.

Finally, after twenty minutes or so of adding things to the mixture, Tony hands me a glass beaker full of solution. The liquid smells terribly, I'm sure it isn't good to inhale.

"You can just take a cloth or something and use that to rub it off, might take some elbow grease." He says and I nod my head. I'm sure Jarvis is going to take a while to come up with a full diagnostic of the scepter, I think it'll be okay to leave for a little while.

I pass the table and look at the glowing stone as I walk to the elevator. Bruce is still watching the scepter as it's being scanned, he's probably trying to rationalize it just like I was but maybe he'll come up with something substantial. I press the button for the main floor and the elevator doors shut in front of me and within seconds they reopen.

I see Steve and Bucky still talking on the couch but they look over to me as the elevator quietly dings. I walk towards them, hoping I didn't interrupt something important. They all scrunch their noses and look at the clear liquid I have in my hands.

"What is that?" Steve asks, a disgusted look on his face. I tap the glass with my fingertips,

"Well, I was thinking that maybe Bucky would want to take the star off of his arm and this stuff will do it. Tony created it a few minutes ago. You don't have to of course, I just thought it might be nice to get rid of it." I explain, looking to Bucky. He has a thoughtful look on his face.

"I think that would be nice." He answers and I smile, happy he agrees with me. I place the glass beaker on the counter and grab a towel Tony has stored in one of the cabinet drawers. Bucky sits at the island with his left arm resting on the stone countertop.

"Are you ready?" I ask before starting the process. He takes a deep breath and nods his head,

"Yeah, I'm ready." I dip the corner of the towel into the liquid, careful to not get it on my skin. I'm sure the liquid is corrosive enough to melt my skin. Maybe I should've grabbed some gloves before doing this, but it's too late, I already started.

I rub the solution over the star, the strong odor making me want to hold my breath. Surprisingly, the solution works like a charm and the red dye starts fading quickly. I put some elbow grease into it, like Tony suggested, as I rub back and forth and see the red dye stain the white towel. I hope Tony wasn't too attached to this towel.

After rubbing the liquid on the star for fifteen minutes, it's finally completely gone. I place the towel in the trash, knowing the red dye ruined it. I keep the beaker on the table because I'm sure I'm not supposed to dispose of it down the drain, it'll probably eat through the pipes.

I look at Bucky's arm, seeing that it's now solid silver, there's no red star blemishing it. Bucky stands up and finds the closest mirror on the wall. He turns his left side towards the mirror and looks at his arm for a few moments. He runs his fingers over the spot where the star once was and it's like he's in awe that it's gone. He turns to me with a smile on his face, and engulfs me in a tight hug, my toes lifting off the ground.

"Thank you." He says in my ear, causing me to smile.

"Of course." I say as he puts me down gently. We hold eye contact for a few moments, and I wish I could just place my hand on his jaw and brush my thumb over his strong cheekbones. Steve clears his throat, which knocks the thought from my head and I step away from Bucky slightly. Steve looks between us both, skepticism on his face but his tone remains cheerful.

"It looks great, Buck." He says. I feel the tension in the room and decide to take the solution back down to the lab where Tony may have a safe way of disposing of it without destroying the pipes.

As I go back to the lab and walk past the table, I hear Jarvis start speaking. I set the glass on the table and freeze as I hear what Jarvis says,

"Analysis complete." My heart starts thumping with anticipation and I join Tony and Bruce's side, eager to hear what Jarvis found.

[ask-octoberotto]

Heya this is Neith from another verse. I was prompted to speak with you about (P)NH(C) virus. Which, I suppose, means... literaly everything about it? It started in OsCorp labs, that I was told, but what was it meant to do? What it did/does when not stopped? What was attempted to stop/heal it? What is affected (type of) population and is there a pre-exposure vaccine? If you know how to send files across the borders, that may be a great time to use that skill, any byte of info is nice. I and my benefactors want only good, I so swear.

And in the other news, I have a list of terms to ask about also, because umm. Pax became quite angry when questioned about those, and it seems like she doesnt know anything despite all of them being globe-span things. I quote, “your experiences are not universal”. Which, if true, means fundamental differences I cant reconcile with on the spot. Anyways, the list follows: Admiral(person, "A" capitalised); Aretes(the organisation); Dragonhearts(the organisation); Greatest biologist of Earth; Plural Plagues(or any event matching that name); Hellhole(in context of Washington, and any others); Hydra(the organisation); North Sentinel Island; OsCorp biology division; Top Alley House(the place). I dont demand the full dissertation on each, I just want to realise whats different and how much so. - Neith

Oh. Christ. Ok, you’re.. quite lucky I’m not too swamped with work. I don’t have the time to fulfill everything that you’ve requested from me (I’m… not doing an actual dissertation for a tumblr ask, sorry) but I will try to answer as best as I can regardless. This gets long so I’m putting it under a read more.

So, firstly, I will have to firmly ask that you to please refrain from agitating Pax any further. One of the prominent symptoms of severe Post NH virus Condition (PNHC) comes in the form of increased irritation/aggression along with emotional deregulation and to keep triggering that is to make an individual more hostile and more likely to.. uh.. respond with violence.. 

Though I doubt you’ll experience much of this aside from some harsh words from her, but as her doctor, I have to ask you leave her be for now so she doesn’t either bring herself or others harm. We really don’t need a situation to evolve because of this big misunderstanding. Also if you’re wondering why Ez is able to visit her, it’s because she trusts them deeply and Ez is unable to be notably harmed by Pax. Speaking with Ez does her a lot of good!

Anyway, you can find more specifics on the symptoms here on NH virus and here on the resulting PNHC, but generally speaking, when one gets infected with the Noctis Hectica (NH) Virus, it generally has a massively negative impact on the brain.. In some ways, it functions somewhat similar to a form of rabies, though there are key differences between the two retroviruses. The most notable being the physiological changes brought on by an infection of NH, with one of the biggest indicators being the changes to the eyes. Even in early stages, the eyes are usually one of the first things to be heavily altered, as patients tend to experience severe photophobia/eye pain, a rapid development of choroidal tapetum cellulosum, and loss of eye pigmentation, turning the previous eye color to a silvery-white color.

At the moment, two different vaccines have been developed, by yours truly, pre-exposure and post-exposure vaccines. We’re.. still trying to do drug discovery for the treatment of PNHC but so far, there seems to be no cure for it. This is more something that one has to manage with medication and other treatments such as therapy for years, possibly lifelong in the severe cases. It’s a very debilitating condition and those who are affected often need at least some level of support to manage it.

Most infected tend to be human but other animals (usually mammals but there was a jump to reptiles at a point) that have been reported to either carry or show symptoms of NH virus. Also I’d love to send more detailed documentation to you but.. that’s not my decision to make. Because I work with the Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance (BSAA) there are some things I am not allowed to disclose and quite frankly? I don’t really want to entrust this sensitive information to an organization I’ve never even heard of. And neither would my superiors.

Which speaking of… I’m afraid Pax is correct with her repeated statement to you. I don’t really know how else to put this to you but, what may be true to your dimension, is not inherently true to another. To assume that it is… extremely shortsighted at best and kind of arrogant at worst, considering you’ve been told twice (now thrice) that it wasn’t the case and yet you don’t seem to really get it.

I.. I understand it’s not something that’s easy to accept and I understand it’s a big adjustment to learn about the multiverse. But you need to listen to me when I say we literally do not have any these other organizations aside from OsCorp, which was a biotechnology company until very recently when they developed the NH virus and ended up causing a massive outbreak in the city of Baltimore, leading to hundreds of thousands of deaths (estimates are approx. 492,000 known deaths) and causalities (50,631) and disappearances (about 28,500 still unaccounted for) related to the Baltimore Incident as of 2082.

Though the situation is mainly secured by now, the Outbreak did a lot of damage to the city and surrounding neighborhoods and resulted in most of the population of Baltimore being either injured or killed as a result. Those responsible have also died during the outbreak but there are a few fugitives still at large, namely the former CEO of OsCorp, Nora Veronica Osborn. Hopefully, the BSAA will find her and she will be held responsible for the amount deaths and destruction her company has caused.

If the other organizations/persons/etc. mentioned existed as prevalently as you say it should in our dimension, I would know. Aside from being the guy who developed the first vaccines for the NH virus (and currently the only person who was not involved with OsCorp that is a leading expert on this virus as I studied it.. far too closely while was trapped in Baltimore), I am virologist and immunologist who has studied many different viral agents over the years, especially viruses that are tied to biological warfare such as the much older Tyrant Virus (T-Virus) and its variants.

So in short? Pax said it best: your experiences are not universal.

What is true in your universe may not even exist in another. Hope this clears everything up and no, I do not want to repeat myself anymore than I have to.

Have a nice day.

- 🔬

[when-wolves-howl]

The Road To Hell

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: You finally get some answers from Natasha. But are they the ones you're really looking for?

Genre: Heavy Angst

Warnings: Violence, Swearing.

Word Count: 3k

A/N: Here is the second chapter to Don't Forget Me. The first chapter was so positively received and I'm so appreciative of everyones kind words and reblogs. I'm still navigating my way through Tumblr in terms of actually postings things and having links to chapters etc so if you notice something wrong, please let me know. I'm sure I'll have a masterlist at some point as well. Anyway, enjoy reading!

*please do not repost or translate my material or claim as yours*

---------------------------------------------------

"Dead?" You laugh at her words but found no humour in what she said. Natasha looks up at the sound and raises her brow at you but you can't look her right now and decide the crack on the roof is important than meeting her eyes. Maybe you are dead because what you're seeing and hearing seems like your own personal purgatory. It's probably what you deserve after the pain you've caused.

"After the explosion, the Stark Relief foundation came on the scene and put out the fires. They found multiple remains. The coroner's report identified dozens of Jane and John Does which we know were Hydra soldiers. But there was only one conclusive identification. Yours. Your bone structure was tested first and resembled it to be that of a super soldier. We thought maybe Hydra had their own secret super soldiers running around. It wouldn't be the first time." Nat stops talking for a moment and takes a deep breath. That's when you decide to direct your gaze towards her. She looks so small. She is literally explaining how she found your charred remains. You understand the flow of tears she's releasing. "But then we got a positive match against your dental records." You run your tongue along your teeth but feel none missing. One more thing that can't be possible. "You were dead."

You know she's telling the truth. You've been listening to her heartbeat ever since she entered the room and not once has it ever faltered. The tell-tale signs of a lie. Then again, she is a master of manipulation. Would she? She was sent here because Fury figured she was the 'safe' option. For you to see someone familiar. Where's Wanda then? Even with Natasha's extensive list of abilities, you could disarm her in two seconds flat. Maybe thirty seconds. Not that you would. You'd definitely give Steve and Bucky a run for their money. As strong as they both are, you're more agile and able to move a lot quicker.

You could also do the same to Wanda in hand to hand combat, but she'd have you on your knees begging for mercy while she picked your brain apart with her magic. She's the only one who could truly stop you.

"So you got married?” Of all the questions you want to ask, you couldn't help let those words escape you. She nods slowly. You put your hands on your hips and look back to the ceiling, desperately trying not cry. Who the fuck is she married to?

You don't have it in you to ask.

"Where's Wanda? Why didn't she come?”

"I don't know. Like I said, I'm not an Avenger or an agent anymore. I chose not to stay in the loop of the inner workings of missons or the lives anyone. I still speak to Clint occasionally, but no one else" she answers quickly, almost like she's ashamed. "I'm actually a professor of Russian Literature at NYU." Your lips pull upwards for a moment at the memory of the pile of books that Natasha used to keep beside the bed. Pushkin, Turgenev, Chekhov, Dostoyevsky. Despite her hatred of the way she was raised in Russia, she couldn't deny herself of reading the classics.

Your lips immediately release when you're brought back to the moment at the sound of feet shuffling. As you focus, you recognise them as boots. Six pairs. They're surrounding the building. You can also hear multiple clicks and know that it's fully automatic weapons turning off their safety switches. You're about to get ambushed. You guess you have about two minutes tops until they're raiding the pub. Keeping your composure, you finally turn to Natasha and find that she's risen from her chair and is standing a couple of feet away from you.

You can't help but love her. She's so goddamn beautiful and is the only reason you exist. But she's lying to you. Her coming here, it was never about a safe option. Fury sent an ops team with her, fully locked and loaded. You understand though. An Avenger goes missing for three years, presumed dead and then wakes up in a foreign country, with no recollection of those years. There's more red flags here then Chinese airport. But you have no answers. For all they know, you could be compromised. You're not though, are you? Maybe S.H.I.E.L.D has been infiltrated, again. Right now, the dread inside you begins to build up again and your gut instinct is telling you not to trust anyone. Not even the red head beauty in front of you. You still hold out your hand for her to take though. You offer her a small smile as a peace offering and she takes your hand in hers. You rub your thumb against her knuckles and savour the moment. You probably won't get to ever touch her again after what you're about to do.

"I remember when you used to bring me coffee to wake up. Not news about a missing chunk of my life" you say with a chuckle. You look her directly in the eyes and she is looking straight back at you, her eyes full of curiosity at your intense stare. She's about to respond when you harshly yank her forward by the wrist and slam your head against hers. She goes to collapse but you catch her in time and carefully place her on the bed. Looking down at her, you push her red locks away from her face and admire her one last time.

"I'm sorry baby. I guess I'm a liar too." You said you wouldn't hurt her. " I love you, Natalia. Always" you whisper. You place a kiss on her cheek and then stand up straight. Turning to the door, you once again focus your hearing to what's on the other side. The boots have entered the pub and are making their way through the first floor. You have about twenty seconds until they break this door down. Taking a deep breath, you begin to stretch your limbs and crack your knuckles. It's time to meet the boots. You grab the door handle and rip it off its hinges. You were never one to be quiet during missons. No point in trying now.

Stepping through the threshold and towards to the top of the stairs, you halt and look down. Six red spots are on your chest, the result of the S.H.I.E.L.D Alpha team pointing their rifles at you. You wouldn't expect anything less from these soldiers. You trained them after all. Besides the Avengers and Natasha, they became a part of your extended family. Going out for beers and playing darts after training could be the highlight of your week after coming back from gruelling missions. Even Natasha and sometimes Wanda or Pietro would tag along at times and kick Campbell’s ass every time while you and the other soldiers just laughed at his frustration.

Raising your hands in mock surrender, a sick smile forms on your face.

"Hi boys" you say, in a taunting tone. One of the soldiers steps forward and keeps their gun trained on you. You wonder if the magazines contain hollow point bullets. They're not enough to kill you, but to incapacitate you for a while at least at this distance. He takes off his helmet and lowers his mask. You see his eyes soften for a moment but quickly change back to their previous stoic nature.

"Agent Y/L/N. Keep your hands where we can see them. We don't want to, but we'll take you in by force if we have to" You laughed at his command. You taught this group everything they know. You didn't want to hurt them but you will of you have to.

"Still as bossy as ever, Campbell" you say as you take your first step down, hands still raised in the air. Everyone tightens their grip on their weapons. You continue with another step when Campbell takes a warning shot that flies straight past your ear. "Still a lousy shot too." You dare to take one more step down when he starts to shout at you.

"Do not take another step!"

"No, I didn't do anything" You quickly jump over the railing of the stairs and land hard on your feet. The six agents move a fraction of second after you and start spray bullets towards you, which you manage to avoid except for one that grazes your shoulder. You growl at the pain and pure rage begins to bubble inside of you. Moving as quickly as you can, you barge through the soldiers and they fall down like bowling pins, groaning. Quickly reaching for the nearest rifle, you secure the strap of it around your torso. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Campbell jump to his feet and advance towards you. You spin around just in time to dodge his fist and instead grab it and bend it behind his back. He screams out in pain as another soldier who you can't identify, slam the butt of his rifle into the back of your leg.

You drop to one knee with a grimace and feel the solider wrap his arm around your neck. Your windpipe is momentarily closed against the force but your anger is only fuelling your movements as you grip the soldiers arm and flip him over your shoulder, his back hitting the floor with a crack. Picking up another rifle at your feet, you whip it it across your bent knee, effectively snapping it in half. The remaining soldiers start to circle you, lasers pointed at your forehead. They're too close for you to make a move. You're strong, but not enough to survive a bullet to the head. Campbell pushes his way inside the circle to stand in front of you, pressing the barrel of a rifle to your head and a finger hovering over the trigger. You don’t dare look away.

“Stop!’

You look over your shoulder and see Natasha descending down the stairs quickly, widow bites wrapped around her wrist. There’s your spider. Where the hell was she hiding them? She steps in front of Campbell and pushes the barrel of his rifle towards the ground. Despite not being a hero anymore, her authoritative nature is still present.

“Nat?” Campbell questions firmly, looking away from you to her face. Did he just call her by her fucking first name? He’s never called her by her first name in all the years that you've known him. It was alway Ms. Romanoff and it was out of respect for the both of you.

Is he - ? Watching his eyes bore into her is making you feel queasy. You’re tempted to rip his head off his shoulders. Literally. With a squeeze to his shoulder from Nat, Campbell and all of the soldiers back off at her glare and exit the pub. Still on your knees, Natasha turns around and looks down on you, her widows bite emitting a soft glow. You know they're read to launch at a moments notice.

Your hands fall lifeless to your sides when you see the purple bruise forming on her fore head. Your heart clenches painfully and it hurts more than any bullet would, slice of a knife, any time Dr. List would put your brain into a blender. It’s almost impossible to hold back your tears. You can tell Natasha is trying to do the same.

“Please don’t make this harder then it needs to be, Y/N. You know what kind of bullets they have loaded. Fury gave them orders to shoot to kill if necessary” she pleads, with glassy eyes.

“I refuse to be locked up again, Natasha. I spent the better part of twenty years being locked up and my brain and body endlessly mutliated by Strucker and Dr. List. Do you really think S.H.I.E.L.D won’t do the same to me when I can’t give them answers? I may have been gone a while but even before I disappeared, things were never the same with S.H.I.E.L.D after we found out its deep corruption with Hydra. Cut off its head and one more shall take its place. I don’t trust anyone right now, Let me go so I can find out wha the hell happened to me” you spit out in a venomous tone and Natasha winces at it. You let your head fall to your chest and shake it in disbelief at your current situation.

“Do you trust me?” she asks. You know she’d never turn. She spent too many nights in your arms with your shirt soaked in her tears. In your opinion, it was better for her to drown in her own tears than the blood of her victims. As time passed in your relationship, the pages of her ledger were starting to return to white, the crimson slowly fading. But at this moment in time, the circumstances of your situation was too suspicious to even trust the woman you love. Not while you're on your knees in front of her, at her mercy.

You respond with actions rather then words by scoffing and lifting your head to look up at her. You point at her widow bites and then to the door the soldiers just left through the pubs exit. She understands your non verbal answer and gives her own response in a way of a single tear escaping her eye.

“I’m sorry” she whispers, allowing her tear to fall. It’s like a sick slow motion game that you're forced to play over and over again. A lone tear falls from the eye of the person you love most in the world and if you don’t catch it and beg them to take to back, it will be your fault that the tear fell in the first place. This is must be the kind of shitty games they play in purgatory.

“YA tozhe, prekrasnyy pauk - (Me too, beautiful spider)” you mumble under your breath. You know she heard because her breath hitches but it gives you a one second window of distraction to make the move to your feet. Before your brain can even comprehend your own thoughts, Natasha has already released two widows bites that hit the middle of your chest.

You’ve been electrocuted before. It was one of Dr. Lists favourite techniques to demand obedience and it hurt like a mother fucker. You can still sometimes feel your sore throat because of the screams you released every time. You've even been hit with one of Nat’s bites accidentally before but it was different this time.

With these bites currently attached to your chest and the electricity currently spitting out of them like wildfire, you can’t even make a whimper. Your jaw is locked tight and your limps seem to be in a state of entropy. Somehow, your melting brain makes a note of taking all of Tony’s suits and crushing them into a disc like shape and making your own shield like Steve. You know the advancements to Nat’s bites are his doing.

Natasha falls to her knees and now matches your height. You can tell she wants to reach out but it would result in her being electrocuted too and by the way your body is being held by the electricity and the force behind them, she’d probably die. You can feel as the bites start slowly powering down but you still can’t move your body. As the discs fall to the ground, so do you, landing harshly on your side.

The paralysis that encapsulated your body also diminishes and it feels like your whole body has been set on fire. With all the strength you can muster, you lower your head and look down at your body and see two scorch marks on your chest. Wisps of smoke rise from them and the smell of burnt flesh pierces your nostrils. It definitely smells like purgatory in here. If your jaw wasn't cemented shut, you would vomit from the stench. With exhaustion starting to creep up on you, you lay down flat on your back groaning in pain. Not just physical pain but the mental and emotional torture you were currently being subjected too rivalled that of the hot poison Dr. List forced into your body. You've thought about him more times today than you have in years. You hope to see him once you finally pass from purgatory and on to hell. Hydra piece of shit. Maybe that’s what you’ll always be as well?

The road to hell is paved with the images of Natasha marrying someone that isn't you. That road seems to be your only direction when you see the glimmer of her ring out of the corner of your eye. Seeing it makes you glad that thousands of volts of electricity coursed its way through your body and was able to distract you more even a moment to forget the whole day happened. As much as it hurt, it was a lesser pain than knowing she's sharing her life with someone that isn’t you. You bite your tongue at the thought, tasting the copper flavour all too quickly and you realise your jaw as unclenched.

Natasha can tell that your body is too weak to fight against her advances so she sits on the ground and slowly cradles your head into her lap.

“Don’t. Don’t touch me” you whimper softly. She can see the tears building up in your eyes but you're too tired to keep them at bay. She takes your face in her hands and wipes the tears away with her thumbs. One of her own falls onto your forehead. You can feel the coolness of her ring on your cheek but it feels like you're being burnt all over again. She pulls your face back to look at her. Your eyelids are feeling heavy as you to surrender to the darkness, hoping to never awaken from this nightmare. You’re ready for your place in hell. It was about damn time anyway.

Emerald eyes are the last thing you see before exhaustion overtakes you.

Chapter 3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @therunawaykind @wolferine @lil-gamer @httpjupiterbby @traveler-at-heart @5-puthyyy @holiday-house-of-m @traveler-at-heart @poptartpoppyy @blackxwidowsxwife @snowdrop1026 @afuckingshituniverse @sherlockstrangewolf @the-camilucha @lorsstar1st @maximoffwitch

[plaid-shirtsandvibranium-arms]

Nemesis: Reformation (3)

Summary: Frank Castle didn’t expect to end up in a HYDRA base when he followed a lead intended for the syndicates. He also didn’t expect to find you barely conscious and tortured within an inch of your life. His decision to save you at that moment led you to spend the next ten years rebuilding yourself from the ashes of your former life. Frank Castle, Billy Russo, and Matt Murdock aid you in your quest for retribution until your old life catches up with you.

Fandoms: Avengers, Marvel, MCU, The Punisher, Daredevil

Pairings: Female Reader x (Frank Castle, Billy Russo, Matt Murdock, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Pietro Maximoff)

Warnings: 18+ ONLY SMUT CONTENT AHEAD. polyamorous relationships, reverse harem, blatant disregard for canon timelines and events, Punisher canon level of violence and gore, strong language, physical insecurities, unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), voyeurism, some light choking

A/N: Much thanks to @pigwidgeonxo and @venusofthehardsells for having a look just to check if I'm even making any sense. Also, hi @its-my-little-dumpster-fire. Do you still like Billy?

No permission is granted to repost, steal, or translate my work. Not even a credit makes it okay. Tumblr is the only place I post my writing. If you see it anywhere else please report it.

Series Masterlist | Full Masterlist

2:3 Roast Beef

Waking up after finally facing someone connected with your purpose didn’t feel like anything you expected. You had been actively chasing after the people responsible, purposely unearthing information that could lead you to your goal. Killing the man who had left his signature permanently all over your skin and even deeper wounds in your soul was a victory. You should be celebrating. This was a win for you.

But all you felt was cold rage.

His death by your hands had awakened a hunger inside your already unstable psyche. A hunger for blood. It was ironic that the first time in years that you had felt in control, not as a victim of shit circumstance, was when you let loose the turmoil inside you. 

The constant crippling ache of grief in your chest was all at once replaced with an echoing hollowness and a reinforced determination. Instead of relief, it only burned with more fury begging to be unleashed. And why shouldn’t you? The sorrow and trauma you had kept under tight control released and burned brightly in that last encounter. It consumed you, propelled you to kill with no remorse. This was a path of retribution you chose afterall, you reminded yourself. There was no relief, but there was a faint sense of accomplishment. You were a step closer to your goal and at the very least the decimated body you left would send a clear message.

You were coming for him.

You could be patient in your vengeance, but Billy and Frank were right. You needed to be ruthless. You knew that more than once blood would stain your own hands. You knew, but it was only now that you truly understood and now you have accepted it. There was one thing you didn’t count on and you weren’t sure how to feel about it yet. When you hurt your torturer, when you felt his life leave him by your hands, you liked it.

More than you expected.

More than you wanted to admit to yourself.

Frank barely recognized you when he saw you conscious again. His whole body went rigid as he felt the palpable shift in your demeanour. Your eyes now held a coldness that sent a shiver down even his spine; bitterness, resolution, and a calculating awareness now dominated your gaze. It filled him with apprehension and it only worsened as he saw you continually push yourself during training. 

“She’s gonna kill herself with exhaustion if she keeps this up,” Billy muttered as he stood beside Frank, joining him as he watched you from a distance as you completely destroyed a sparring dummy with your bare hands.

He was going to have to order a few new ones along with cases of bullets and new targets for the range. It wasn’t just your hand-to-hand you had been working on. There was a notable difference with how you fought now too. Where all your past training with SHIELD and the Avengers moulded you to be more on the defensive, to take measured and careful actions to disarm or disable efficiently, now you were taking more of a relentless offensive. You were a war dog off your leash. You were either preparing yourself to face Goliath himself or you were trying to work out all that aggression inside you. At this point it could be either one, but they both knew all too well how destructive this type of hyper focus could be.

Especially when murder was the goal.

“Or she’s gonna get herself killed on a mission,” Frank grunted, shaking his head. “She’s bound to get reckless.”

“Speaking from experience?” Billy teased.

Frank glowered at him, but he was too worried about you to put any real threat behind it. The only thing that gave him a sliver of reassurance was the fact that you still continued to crawl into bed with him. The mindblowing sex aside, he was glad that you still came to him to ground yourself from the nightmares that now plagued both your sleep and your consciousness.

That meant you weren’t totally lost.

But Frank was. He didn’t know how to help you aside from holding you through the night. This was a problem that couldn’t be solved with his fists. You needed more. You needed something else.

“What she needs is an outlet. I have an idea,” Billy said as he started to stroll toward you. He turned back to Frank for a second to throw him a wicked grin that pulled at the Punisher’s nerves. “You’re not gonna like it though.”

Frank jogged after him, wanting to discuss this idea between the two of them first but Billy was already smiling down at your curious expression. He looked far too pleased with himself.

“Do we have a new lead?” you asked as you tugged at the wraps on your hands. There was a hopeful anticipation in your eyes and a hard set on your chin as you waited for Billy to respond.

“Not yet, but I have something else for you. I may have a way for you to repay my generous hospitality.”

“I’m not sucking your dick, Russo.”

A laugh erupted from his lips as you rolled your eyes at him, but the small lift at the corner of your lips said that you weren’t too bothered. You were used to him propositioning you on a regular basis by now and it had grown to be part of your regular banter.

“Just to be clear, I’ve been asking you out to dinner,” he said while wagging his brows, which didn’t exactly support his claim to innocence. “But if that date happens to end with your pretty mouth making a meal out of me then I’m not about to complain.”

You shook your head, silently chastising him for his filthy mouth despite the small thrill that ran down your spine. The charm on Billy Russo should be classified as a weapon. It was downright lethal.

“So what did you have in mind then?” Your brow raised as his grin grew wider. He was definitely up to some trouble.

“I need you to shoot up some gangbangers for me.”

“Fucking what?” Frank yelled, his scowl speaking volumes on his disapproval.

"I'll do it."

Frank turned his scowl over to you at your easy agreement. You shrugged and he just kept shaking his head.

"I need something to do."

Something to kill.

“Now now, Frankie. Just because you’re parking your dick in the pretty girl doesn’t mean you can make her decisions for her,” he clicked his tongue as he playfully scolded his best friend.

Your head tilted in thought at that. Billy apparently knew, it appears for a while now, that you and Frank were sleeping together and yet he still kept pursuing you. It wasn’t a secret, but neither of you had been advertising your new closeness either. Unless he was completely joking about asking you out, but you knew that he would follow through the moment you said yes. Very curious. There was also no malice in his teasing. A part of you had been a little worried about how he would react when he found out, but all you heard in his voice was something like intrigue. You pushed that aside for another time, having no mental capacity to unpack all that right now.

Right now you have a mission.

Billy was smirking down at you, completely ignoring Frank’s grumbled protests and his dark eyes gleaming with mischief. It wasn’t a hard decision. The moment he mentioned the task, the bloodlust that was resting just under your very skin roared to life and you couldn’t help your own lips curling into a wider grin.

“Let's go paint the town red, pretty girl.”

“It’s a date.”

--------------

“I still think this is a bad idea, Blackbird” Frank grunted, scuffling could be heard over the comms coming from his end followed by a thick silence. 

A row of unconscious bodies lined the back alley wall by the dumpster he was crouching behind. The night covered him as well as the narrow alley behind the local bar that was the known hangout place for this gang. Frank had been blitz attacking every sorry patron that came out the back to smoke or piss. It would take them out of the equation for a while and allow you a clean opening for your targets.

You understood why he didn’t like this idea. It meant more blood on your hands, blood that wasn’t even connected to your vengeance. It meant you were getting deeper and deeper into this life, but goddamn it you were itching to pull the trigger. Sure this time it was a few low level gangsters who had attempted to kidnap the child of one of Billy’s clients, a senator and his family he had been tasked to protect. 

But what about next time?

“It’s just some anger management, Raven,” Billy chuckled from his rooftop perch three streets away, the faint sound of him tinkering with his sniper rifle travelled through the earpieces. “Two coming out. Last ones.”

Frank scoffed, knowing damn well that he offered this task for his own gain and he would probably continue to offer you similar ones in the future. Billy was a businessman and he saw an opportunity to please a client, help your growing agitation, and gain a new asset in you. Win-fucking-win. Frank could hardly do anything about it when you had so easily agreed so he resigned himself to doing his part.

"It's so cute how you two have pet names for each other," you said, teasing but lacking the previous sunny playfulness in your tone.

"They're not pet names," Frank snorted, huffing as the last one fell limp under his choke hold. "They're our old Marine code names. All clear, Blackbird?"

"Confirmed, Raven. Bartender should be moving to the backroom in five minutes as instructed," Billy said, his scope trained on the remaining three inside the bar. "Feeling left out, pretty girl? You can call me whatever you want."

You swear to god he winked. You couldn't see him, but you were sure of it. You rolled your eyes under the low hood of your jacket as you continued to pretend to be busy on your phone. You were sitting on the bus stop right across the bar as you waited for your cue to enter. You were leaning back and relaxed, looking just like any other civilian waiting for the bus but inside you your blood was roaring and your nerves were jumping in anticipation.

"We should give you a code name too though," Billy added, biding the time until he could signal you to go in.

"Hummingbird because you're a restless little shit," Frank suggested, the smile evident in his tone.

"Dead dove," Billy said to which both you and Frank snorted. "What? She is presumed dead."

"What about something cheesy then like Phoenix?" Frank snickered.

"Hedwig," Billy said and Frank hummed his agreement. "The fluffy snowy white owl in the wizard kid movies."

"Why can't I get a normal badass one like you guys? Why do I have to be a fictional bird?"

Because you weren't tainted like them.

At least that's what Billy thought. The code names that they carry weren't just a reminder of their brotherhood, but the darkened path that they previously walked together. He saw a spark of idealism and innocence in you when you first met. The world was still black and white to you, not the sickening variety of grey that Frank and Billy knew it to be. Even now your wrath was in the name of something good. Naming you something with humour was, to him, hopefully a reminder for you to hold on to your remaining light and for him to help preserve it. A snow white owl seemed appropriate.

"We can call you Pigeon instead. Your choice, pretty bird," Billy chuckled, far too pleased with his play on words.

"I hate you both."

"Lies," Billy laughed before his tone dropped to something more serious. "You're clear to enter, Hedwig."

You huffed as you rose to your feet, pocketing your phone while discreetly checking on your weapons. You placed your hands inside the pockets of your hoodie, a casual gesture but also meant to hide how your hands were slightly shaking. You forced yourself to take two steadying breaths before you opened the door and stepped into the dimly lit bar. 

Three pairs of eyes immediately followed you as you made your way to a seat by the empty bar, consciously not making eye contact with your targets. Your fingers tapped on the sticky countertop, looking like you were just impatiently waiting for the bartender but you were waiting for someone else entirely.

"You wanna party, girlie?"

Predictable.

You turned on your seat and watched the small shock and slow satisfied grin grow on the man's features. Even mostly hidden by your hood, it was evident that you had a beautiful face and he was thanking whatever god he subscribed to for his luck as the corners of your lips lifted in what he thought was flirtatious amusement.

"You say that to all the girls? Even underaged ones you plan on kidnapping?"

His smile dropped immediately, confusion replacing it followed by anger as his fists clenched. His hand snapped out to grip your wrist tightly, pulling you close to him until you could smell the stale beer on his breath. Disgusting. You frowned at the stench of him and the proximity of his ugly face to yours, an expression he mistook for you feeling intimidated.

"What the hell are you on, bitch? Who fucking sent you?"

The nervousness you felt earlier eased out of your body. In its place was a sense of calm and focus. Here was a target. A bad man. A man who needed to be punished because who knew whose child they would try to kidnap next. What if next time they succeeded? The reasoning was sound in your mind. The logic justified what you were there to do. The small smile playing on your lips widened as the bloodlust rushed through you.

"The senator sends his regards."

He was too slow to react, too slow to process the shock and confusion as he registered your words. Your free hand slipped into the pockets of your hoody, pulling the trigger of your pistol immediately and shooting through the fabric. It hit him right in the gut causing him to stagger away from you, releasing your wrist in favor of uselessly trying to clutch at his profusely bleeding stomach. He stared at you with horror before his eyes faded and he dropped to the sticky floor with a loud thump.

If the silenced gunshot didn’t get their attention, then their companion dropping to the ground lifelessly in a pool of his own blood certainly did. The other two shot to their feet, chairs scraping loudly and bottles crashing to the floor with all signs of inebriation vanishing from the sudden threat. 

They returned your shots as you made a jump to take cover behind the bar. Furniture went flying and clattered noisily. Your mind buzzed through the chaos as you calculated your next move, almost relishing the adrenaline pumping in your veins.

Their bullets continued to rain down on the front of the bar, the thick wood splintering loudly on impact but they didn’t sound like they were making any move to come closer. Fucking pussies. You rolled smoothly out of the other end of the bar, your gun poised and a sick grin on your face as you shot precisely at one of them.

Two shots to the back of the head.

You slid across the floor closer to the last man standing, grabbing a broken off chair leg along the way before lifting yourself to your feet fluidly while effectively knocking out the gun from his hand. One of your hands kept his arm hostage while the other shoved the sharp broken end of the chair leg through his throat. 

You kept your gazes locked, unflinching even as his blood spurted from the wound and splashed across your face and neck. You watched the life drain from him, a cruel satisfied smirk on your lips as he slowly slid to the ground. You shoved his hand away from your grip as he went completely limp.

Suddenly all noise ceased in the bar and an eerie quiet filled it along with the unmistakable smell of blood and gunpowder. The room was in chaos. Gunshots decorated the bar and the furniture was thrown in disarray. Three dead bodies. You felt a little of the weight on your chest lift and that sense of achievement and satisfaction tugged at you.

You felt good.

"Not gonna lie, that was hot," Billy said with a whistle. "But you missed one."

"What?"

A bullet whizzed right past your ear, freezing you to your spot before it found its home in the forehead of a rather large brute who had just come out of the men’s room. His pants were still halfway done up, haphazardly held up in his rush to investigate the ruckus outside. He had his gun in his hand, but Billy had already gotten to him before he could even turn off the safety. You tilted your head to the side as he also fell dead to the floor before you raised an eyebrow toward your sniper, knowing he could see you through the scope.

“Seriously?”

“What? I always have your back, pretty girl, and I never miss.”

You shook your head as you came to the plain realization that despite your better judgment, you trusted him to have your back. Just like Frank and Curtis, you trusted Billy Russo with your life. They did bring you back from the dead afterall. You nudged the nearest bloody body with your boot, satisfied that they were all indeed dead. The other members of the gang will wake up in a couple of hours to find their comrades.

Your work here was done.

-----------------------------

The sound of idly dripping water from the recently turned off shower punctured through the silence of Anvil's locker rooms. Normally you wouldn't use the baths intended for the trainees and staff. Billy had given you his private quarters with an en suite in the facility that he used to occupy whenever he worked late. It kept you close to them and also hid you from the public while still allowing you to use the training amenities when everyone cleared out. 

You were supposed to be a ghost. You only wanted one person in your past to know you were alive and that was only so he could know you were coming for him. You wanted him to know death was going to be visiting him. You wanted him to be terrified. The rest couldn't know you had survived.

Not yet anyway.

After the adrenaline had worn out, a sharp searing pain bloomed on your side. It was only then that you noticed a bullet had grazed you just on the upper part of your ribs and that the blood on your hoody wasn't just from your enemies tonight. It wasn't too bad. Maybe a couple of stitches, but it did hurt like a motherfucker.

You were much too tired to make it up three flights of stairs and the medical kit down here was more readily stocked than the one upstairs anyway. Billy had excused himself to his office to make some calls and Frank grunted his need for sleep. You were alone. You were standing in front of the sinks, using the mirrors that lined the walls to aid you in stitching the wound. You huffed in frustration and shook your head at the difficulty of twisting your aching body to reach.

A low chuckle and softly padding feet pulled your attention and you fumbled with the towel draped loosely around your hips to cover your half naked form. Fresh from the shower and intending to take care of your injury, you were only in your black panties and bra but you might as well have been stark naked with the predatory way Billy was looking at you as he approached.

“Let me help you with that,” he said, his voice low but with genuine concern.

"I'm good. It's fine."

You quickly stammered out your reply, flustered at the sudden company and desperately trying to cover up as much of your skin as possible. Billy noticed. It wasn't as much the fact that you were barely wearing anything, but more on what was laid bare because of it. He noted how you were particularly covering one side of your neck, a part of your torso, a space around your thighs. He noted how you were trying to keep your arms beneath the towel and how you were angling your body so your back wasn't seen by him or reflected by the mirrors. He noted how you refused to meet his eyes.

You were covering up your scars.

Billy knew firsthand how fierce you were. How powerful. How strong. How fearless. How terrifying. Just tonight alone showed that you were a force to be reckoned with. Right now you looked so vulnerable and small. So unsure of yourself. Ready to tuck tail and run. It pained him and his heart clenched for your sake. He realized then how you had always been in long sleeves and hoodies. Even when you were sweating during training, you remained covered up. It knew now that it wasn't about modesty, but more of shame.

You had no reason to be. Not about this. Not about anything. Not if Billy had any say in it. He made a snap decision and before you could even give in to your instinct to bolt out of there, he had whipped his own shirt off himself. Your mouth dropped open as he revealed broad shoulders, lean muscle, chiseled abs, and a tapered waist. He looked like he stepped out of a goddamn romance novel. Heat flared on your face and somewhere much lower, your eyes darkening with inappropriate desires. You shook your head before they could fully take form in your mind.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Instead of answering you, he grabbed one of your wrists. He pried it free from the death grip you had on your towel, the fabric falling freely and now only held up by one hand. He held your palm low on his abdomen, just above the waistband of his jeans. You were too shocked to really react, surprised by how hot his skin felt.

"Gunshot wound. A militia in the Middle East ambushed us. We didn't know they had snipers waiting for us. I survived."

It took you a while to register his words and the raised discolored patches of skin beneath your fingers. You looked up at him, your expression morphing to angry confusion but he kept his own neutral and gentle even. He guided your hand upwards to his toned chest, his heartbeat feeling as quick as your own.

"Ka-Bar knife. Russian spy. I survived."

He moved your hand again and your entire arm felt like it had been electrocuted. He rested it just below his shoulder, a breath away from his collarbone. You swallowed and grimaced at how dry your throat felt.

"Metal pipe. New York mafia. I survived."

He went on for a while, dragging your hand across parts of his body and telling you stories of each earned scar until your expression had softened and the tension in your body relaxed. You chose to focus on his words instead of the steady heat building at your core from each touch.

"What happened to the one who gave you this?" you asked after one particularly gruesome scar on his bicep.

"Dead. You're not the only one who likes to settle scores,” he said, a small smug smirk on his face before it turned more serious again. “I killed all of them. Except this one.”

He raised your hand toward his face, running it along his hairline from the top of his forehead to just behind his ear. You winced at the long raised scar that was just hidden by his thick black hair. It was a horrid scar and it felt like his skull was almost cracked wide open. For all the time you’ve spent with Billy, it was only now that you even noticed this part of him. You felt a twinge of guilt at never really taking the time to get to know him.

“Who did this to you?”

“Frank,” he said with a sad smile as he refused to meet your shocked eyes. “I deserved it.”

You didn’t ask questions. You knew part of this story of theirs from Frank and though you were curious, this didn’t seem like the right time. You smiled gently at him, your hand falling to cup his cheek.

“Why are you telling me all this, Russo?”

“Because I survived,” he said simply, meeting your puzzled look this time. “Just like you did.”

Heat crept up to your face, embarrassed at how he was basically calling you out. It was subtle. He didn’t say anything else, but he didn’t need to. What he was saying was that you were a survivor. The scars were a testament to your resilience. The marks were proud battle scars. They were trophies.

You willed yourself not to look away from his darkening gaze as he tugged the towel off you, the corner of his lip curling as the air sizzled around you both. The towel fell with a heavy plop on the floor, leaving you in only your underwear and your breath caught as he lifted a finger to trail along the marred skin along the side of your neck. He took his turn to touch you slowly, leaving a blazing trail down your collarbone and leading down one arm. 

He smiled lazily down at you, his eyes hooded as his hand moved to graze along your hip before winding to your back. Your body went rigid but his eyes were softly reassuring and coaxed you to relax back against his featherlight touch. Your back was where the worst of your scars were, spiraling and crawling all over in a mesh of broken skin. Here under the harsh fluorescent light of the bathroom and with all the mirrors lining the wall, there was nowhere to hide from his perusal. You had never felt more naked in your life.

It scared you.

It thrilled you.

His palm came to rest low on your back, pushing you flush against him and trapping you against the counter. His body felt hot against yours, his lean muscles pressing on your softness and his jeans rough on your skin. He tilted his head and leaned in, your lips now inches apart and your breaths mingling in the tiny space. Your heart raced with anticipation as your eyes alternated between his smoldering gaze and his tempting lips.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful.”

His head swooped in then, halting any further thought with a searing kiss. You shuddered against his lips, a soft sigh escaping you and allowing him to slip his tongue in to taste you better. He held you with a hand to the back of your neck, ensuring you can’t escape. As if you wanted to. As if you had any capacity to think of anything else except how electric his lips felt.

Your body arched toward him and his free hand roamed your skin, this time with more pressure. He pressed. He gripped. He squeezed. Each heated touch stroking the fire inside you and shooting straight to your core. More. You wanted more. The frenzy built between you and soon your hands grew more desperate to touch more, your body aching to press harder against him. Your arms wound around his neck, your hands burying in his hair and tugging.

He growled into your mouth and lifted you onto the counter, ripping your remaining clothing off your body. Large hands cupped your breasts and squeezed, making you gasp. He pulled his mouth away from yours but kept his face close, carefully watching your expressions with blown eyes. One hand tweaked your nipples while the other traveled down your body to test your folds, lifting one of your legs along the way and propping it up on the counter to spread you open for him.

“Been dying to taste you, pretty girl.” He kissed you quickly before dipping a finger inside you. Your hands gripped tighter around his shoulder as you squirmed. “Can’t wait to feel you strangling my cock with your pretty little cunt.” 

Your pussy clenched at his words and he chuckled. “Yeah, just like that.”

His movements were deliberately slow, torturous but with just enough pressure to have you panting for more as the pleasure built inside you. His mouth came down to nip at your lips, trail his tongue along the skin of your shoulders, and bite at the column of your neck. A hazy cloud of lust enveloped you and lulled your mind, pushing your insecurities away and leaving room only for all he was giving you. Everything else in the room faded away and the sudden closing of the locker doors jarred you to alertness.

Your eyes widened as they snapped toward the door. Frank. You panicked as you looked at him standing there in a wide stance and an unflinching stare, your heartbeat now racing for a whole other reason. Guilt bit at you as you tried to grasp at anything to cover your nakedness up with, your hands doing little to shield you but Billy wasn’t having any of it. He gripped you by the thighs, spreading you even wider and flashing you a grin full of deviance. You shook your head and tried to hiss at him, switching between looking at the two men.

“Don’t mind me,” Frank said, his voice coming low and raspy. It sent delectable shivers down your spine as he began to undress. “I just came for a shower.” 

You sat frozen to the spot, conflicted between leaping to a hasty exit or grinding your pussy against Billy’s fingers. Your eyes though couldn’t help but follow Frank as he walked toward the showers, taking the area just to the left of the one directly in front of you. You had a perfect view of him and that meant he had a perfect view of you.

“You’re gripping me so tight right now, pretty girl,” Billy whispered next to your ear. You grabbed his wrist, but it did little to stop him from stretching you open in front of his bestfriend. “And so fucking wet too. You like Frankie watching you, don’t you?”

You opened your mouth to deny it, but all that came out was a sharp moan as he thrust his fingers hard and curled them. He chuckled as he watched your hesitance slowly drain away to be replaced by that desire again. He kissed the side of your jaw and kept his lips there, keeping your head turned toward Frank.

“Don’t worry. He likes watching you too.”

His words registered late, the tightening in your core distracting you from Frank’s presence. Frank had water pouring down his head and trailing down his body in the most erotic water show you had ever seen. You couldn’t help but follow the streams down until you saw something that made your breath hitch. 

Frank was rock hard.

Your eyes traveled up and met deep brown eyes that were already watching you. If his proud hard on wasn’t enough to convince you then the feral lust in his blown eyes certainly did. 

“Told you,” Billy said with a breathy laugh. “Let’s give him something to really watch.”

That was all the warning you got before he dropped to his knees and latched his mouth over your aching clit. You yelped in surprise, your hand flying out to clutch onto his dark hair. His free arm banded over your hips, keeping you in place as his mouth and fingers worked in tandem to drive you to insanity. In no time at all he had your thighs shaking around him and harried panting was all you were capable of.

“Billy,” you whined, all your reservations thrown to the wind in the face of your burning need to cum. “Please.”

He groaned and the vibrations made your toes curl. He picked up his pace, scissoring into you rapidly and sucking on your bud with purpose. You chanced a look at him and the intense hooded look in his eyes, commanding you to let go, was enough to push you off the cliff you were teetering on. You came with a scream, your hips rocking against his face and your hand pulling his head closer to your core. Your release came wave after wave, his attention still not letting up until you were cumming again. He held you as you convulsed, drinking up everything you had to offer until you fell back against the mirror limply.

Billy crawled up your body and pulled your head to crash his lips against yours, your taste on his tongue in your mouth was making you delirious. He kissed you hungrily, impatiently, as he fumbled with the opening of his jeans. Your hands clung to his chest, his neck, his shoulders. Anywhere you could steady yourself on. You felt his rapid heartbeat match yours and his obvious eagerness sent another wave of wetness to your core.

“You can choke on my cock later, pretty girl. If I don’t get inside you right now I might just kill someone.”

You shrieked as he pulled you off the counter, setting you on your feet and spinning you around to face the mirror. His long fingers wrapped around your neck, tipping your chin to look directly at the reflection. He bent you over just enough to lift your ass at the perfect height for him, wasting no time and sheathing himself in your heat. You gasped at his length, deliciously curving and reaching places you didn't even know a cock was capable of. He groaned as he felt your walls grip him, his other hand digging into your hip.

"Fucking hell. You feel even better than you taste. Fuck!"

Your eyes started to flutter close as he started to pound into you, immediately punishing as if he just couldn't hold back. As if the feel of you was too good for him to exercise any form of restraint. It felt too good. It felt so fucking good.

"No," he snapped, his hand on your neck tightening to get your attention. "Keep your eyes open. I want you to watch."

He lifted your knee up on the counter, spreading you wider and giving you a view of how your pussy kept sucking him back in desperately. Each time he pulled out you saw his shaft coated in your slick. God, you were so wet.

"I want you to watch how beautiful you look taking my cock."

He jerked your head when your eyes threatened to close again. Your eyes flew open as he snapped his hips, jolting you forward and making your breath catch. Each forceful thrust broke you, taking apart all your doubts and pushing you toward another orgasm.

"I want you to watch how much of a rabid fucking animal I am for your pretty little cunt."

Your gaze focused on him and fuck it if he didn't look exactly like he said. His hair was a mess and falling in front of his handsome face. A light sheen of sweat covered him, adding to the menacing feral look in his black eyes. His lips were curled in a half sneer, half smirk that was pure masculine arrogance.

"I want you to watch how crazy you're making Frank."

Frank. You had completely forgotten that Frank was bearing witness to Billy completely defiling you. You froze as you searched for him and what you saw almost made you cum on the spot. The shower was still running and beneath the stream Frank was furiously fucking his hand, mirroring the way Billy was ramming into you.

Billy's hand coming around to thrum on your clit had your legs almost giving out. Your body relaxed once more in his arms, forced to submit to his unrelenting pace. You could feel your orgasm wind tight in your core and Billy groaned as he felt you start to clamp tighter around him.

"Come on. Nearly there," he said between ragged breaths. "Fucking give it to me."

Tighter and tighter. Higher and higher. Your eyes went to Frank again just in time for you to see him throw his head back, his jaw clenched tightly as white streams of his cum spurted onto the tiles. God, he looked damn good cumming.

You screamed as your orgasm hit you like a truck, your whole body shaking as your hands clawed at the counter. Your vision blurred with white spots but you kept them open, greedily wanting to watch Billy finish too.

"Fucking hell!" Billy growled, slamming sloppily into you. 

He fucked you through your orgasm, not giving a damn that you were oversensitive and wrecked. A few more hard thrusts was all it took to have him grunting loudly as he spilled inside you. He collapsed on top of you, pressing you onto the cold counter as you both tried to regain control of your breathing. His weight and the feel of his heated sweaty body on yours felt oddly comfortable. You were both going to need another shower.

Frank stalked toward you, still fully naked and with water still dripping down his body. You were still sensitive from your release, your senses still buzzing and now laced with nervousness at how he's going to react to all this. He grasped your chin to turn your face toward him, planting a firm kiss on your lips while his best friend still had his softening dick inside you and his cum leaking around your pussy. His lips curled at the corner when you parted.

"Don't forget to turn the lights off when you come to bed," he mumbled before winking at you. "No rush."

He left you shocked and speechless as he sauntered off, leaving you with a rather nice view of his firm ass as he grabbed a fresh towel from the racks before exiting through the door. Did that really just happen? You had so many questions racing through your mind and it was Billy's breathy laugh filled with amusement at your struggle that pulled you back before your brain could overheat.

"So I was thinking that we needed a new strategy about Salvacion."

Your brows furrowed at the sudden change of topic, badly disorienting you given what you had just shared and who witnessed it. You shook your head to focus.

"You're really bad at pillow talk, Russo."

He laughed and you found that you liked the sound of it. You always had it seemed. He bent down to kiss you, tongue swiping for a moment against yours and his hips thrusting just that little bit.

Tease.

"Pillow talk is when we're done. I'm not even halfway done with you tonight," he mumbled against your lips, punctuating his words with a playful bite. "But stop distracting me. Whispers of the incident at the bar are already making the rounds and people are asking questions."

"What kinds of questions?" you asked, trying your hardest not to push your hips back against him. Your back was arching against him and your neck craned to the side as you looked at him through the mirror.

"They're curious to know who ordered the hit and who took it. The mercenary business is a tight community. They wanna know about the new female player on the board."

"Somebody saw?" you asked. It wasn't ideal that news would reach Jill or the Avengers about you. That was a complication you didn't want to face yet.

"Not enough to identify you," he said, brushing off your worries with a soft kiss on your shoulder. "The most they can possibly dig up is that you would have taken the request from Anvil or the senator. Either won't be a problem."

You nodded, a small frown forming as you thought. Anvil was known to employ more discrete security for special cases. Frank would sometimes take some of those assignments as The Punisher and hardly anyone would be surprised to think that the senator had sent someone to clean up after they had hurt his child. You gnawed on your lip as you worked through your worries before staring up at Billy with curiosity.

"You mentioned a new strategy?"

He beamed at you as he nodded. "We've been playing it safe this whole time, waiting and chasing down small leads. Backtracking and retracing what we know so far is not getting us closer fast enough."

A chord struck in you at how he was referring to all of you as a team. You had always been independent and so self-reliant. From supporting yourself and your sister to even when you were with the Avengers. You never felt like you were part of a team. Even with Frank and Billy by your side, you had still remained in that mentality that you were doing this all on your own.

You decided to change that.

Billy was right. By now, you all knew that Salvacion was too careful to leave any breadcrumbs for you to follow. It was irritating the hell out of you and it made you even more restless. He was just as much a ghost as you were and he knew far more about this world than you did. It was easier for him to hide. He might not even be aware that you were alive or if he did then he couldn't care less about you. 

He didn't see you as a threat.

Yet.

"What are you suggesting?"

"We get his attention. We use you as bait."

“How?” you said, raising a brow. 

"By rebranding you." You rolled your eyes as he talked to you all business, but with that mischievous smirk and glint in his eyes. "You'll take more hits, establish your reputation as a merc. It will open opportunities for you to access people and information that deal with the shit he does."

"You think we'll find something this way?"

"Or he might get curious and come out himself," he added. "We can set you up for some gear. Cover you completely so you can remain anonymous if that's what you want. I don't think a big ass spray painted vest with a skull on it is your style."

You snorted a laugh at the small dig at Frank. No, it wasn't your style. Your lips curved into a decided smile, your eyes now dancing with excitement.

"So where do we start?"

Billy smiled widely at you, pleased that you were happy with his suggestion. He kissed the side of your head and breathed in.

"Well every brand needs a name and I think you've outgrown Y/N."

Your smile flashed with sadness for a moment. You had outgrown your name. You weren't that person anymore. When Lily died, Y/N died with her. At the very least, she wished that she did. You spared a moment to mourn your younger self before you steeled your resolve. This was a new chapter. You were a new person. This was your rebirth, your reformation.

"Any ideas?"

"Yeah. How about Nemesis?"

------------------------------------------------

We have discontinued tag lists. For chapter and fic updates follow my side blog and turn on notifications: plaid-sav-armsfics. Only new chapters and new fics will be posted there.

------------------------------------------------

Series Masterlist | Full Masterlist