#it’s too enmeshed
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I know Javier (the crab guy) is technically for a futuristic/sci-fi thing but I was wondering if you've ever thought about repurposing him into a setting like Duffy's, or Look Into Her Many Eyes.
Also, a broader version of that question is, how do you know when a character isn't meshing well into a story/setting and whether you should scrap them entirely or find another way to repurpose them?
What helps you determine if a character is necessary or can be replaced by someone or something else? Especially if you're attached to the character and/or something the character does in a scene or in the story.
These are REALLY good questions!
RE: Javi. I have TOTALLY considered dropping him into Duffy’s world. I think the biggest clash would be that he and Duffy are very similar characters and her universe might not have the room for two egos if that magnitude. That said, if I ever think of a brief enough plot for them, I’ve thought about how that would go. Look Into Her Many Eyes is gonna be far too low tech and contained for someone like him tho lol.
Character meshing: There’s a lot of factors for this. The biggest time it ever happened to me was with Harriet - in draft one, Harriet was a man. Her character really wasn’t working out for me, because i felt like he was repeating a lot of the same themes found in Marlowe and Arvin. I had to take a step back and think about exactly what you’re asking - what’s not working here? Is it something I can change? Would it be better to remove it entirely?
For Harriet, the answer was No, I can’t take her out. To divvy her lines to Marlowe and Arvin would completely change their relationships with Quincy, and to remove her entirely would be to remove a neccesary part of the narrative - that not everyone is willing to open themselves to change, not everyone CAN be redeemed. So, i needed to change it. But how? What wasn’t working? I think i had two options - change his personality, or change something else. And idk when exactly it hit me, but i realized the tone of Quincy and Harriet’s relationship would change DRASTICALLY if Harriet was a woman. Like, the tension became less predatory (Male!Harriet came off like a sex pest in some scenes), and there was a sense of wry amusement and mutual respect that hadn’t been there before. Also, her relationship with marlowe became less brotherly and suddenly I had a whole new relationship - Marlowe and Harriet have a mother/son bond without me changing almost anything other than the pronouns in those scenes.
Idk if that answered the question. I wasn’t particularly attached to Harriet as a character, more to what she accomplished in the story.
There ARE characters I’ve been attached to that don’t work perfectly. Usually I can just feel that they don’t work before I even get past drafting. Eyes, for instance - I Knew I had to have a priest character for the story to work, but every version of a priest i tried to slot in mentally just didn’t work. that happens a lot - it’s never the character that’s the problem, it’s the Way That They Are. I more often find a hole where i need a new character to move things forward than i find one just taking up space that needs removed. Idk why that is, maybe I’m more efficient than i give myself credit for. I get pretty brutal about what I feel does/doesn’t work before I even start writing (see: my post on headcanons where i talk about axing Quinlowe as a concept)
Anyways! sorry for the ramble and thank you for the question!
#asks#kalposting#i think one other thing is that rn I’m dealing with this with Book 3#i have a character I NEED to be there but something about him isn’t quite working#i can’t get rid of him and i can’t change too much about him because he’s a recurring character from book 1#but I’m really in the midst of this right now and idk the way I’ve crafted this series it’s really really really hard to take things out#it’s too enmeshed#so usually it’s a change thing not a removal thing#and usually it’s really obvious when something isn’t working cuz i get stuck on things that should be easy#or i just feel dissatisfied or repetitive
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longtime best friend!simon, johnny x reader
johnny discovers that simon has someone waiting at home for him. they fall for each other, but simons friend has to make it clear--simon will always come first, to them.
Simon is regretting his decisions.
He supposes this isn’t really his decision–Johnny (because of course it was Johnny) had caught him rifling through a package you had sent him, and it had been downhill from there.
(Knew you had a bird at home! Gaz is going to love this–
Not my bird.
Aye, ‘n i’m the king of bleedin’ Scotland–
Just a friend.
Oh, even better–didnae think ye had any o those either! You’ll have to introduce us to the lass.
Over my dead body.
C’mon, L. T., we’ve gotta meet the only other person who can bear to put up with ye–
Johnny narrowly dodges the paperweight thrown at his head.)
He regrets not locking the door to his room, though in his defence, no one but Johnny was stupid enough to enter without knocking. You’d texted him a week ago to tell him the package was on the way, and he’d been itching to get his hands on something like home.
(His favourite blondies; a balaclava and a gaiter you’d made him; a tea blend you’d tried while exploring Cardiff with a friend; a photo of the neighbours cat, Pappardelle (that preferred the two of you) lounging on the sofa; an envelope thick with notes, all the things you’d wanted to share with your best friend that were too long for a text; one of your hoodies.)
Johnny had made good his threat to tell Gaz, and the two of them had somehow won the war of attrition. Even Price appeared interested, though he seemed to think he was doing a good job at hiding it. Simon gave no sign that he'd been worn down until he entered the rec room one Friday afternoon and told them to scrub up.
“Meeting ‘er at 1830. Leaving at 1730, with or without you.”
They’d all been beside his vehicle at 1715.
Now, he was watching (and, unfortunately, hearing) you and Johnny perform a horrendously loud and off-key version of ‘Shut Up and Dance’ at the karaoke machine of your favourite bar, and the regret rears its head again. It’s not that he cares that the two of you had thrown your extremely drunk arms around each others shoulders, or that Johnny’s eyes are sparkling with something, it’s that he knows, now, that he’ll have to share you.
“I–I don’t think… hm. This is harder than I thought.”
“Take yer time, hen. I’ve nowhere else to be.”
You nod. “Right. Yeah. Okay. It’s just–no potential partner ever gets past this bit. And I’m not exactly chomping at the bit to ruin," you gesture between the two of you, "this.”
“Try me,” he says, his grin as easy as ever.
You sigh. “Okay. It’s Simon–I’m not in love with him. Before you jump to conclusions.” He holds his hands up in faux-surrender. “Sorry–everyone always thinks… anyway. Simon is family to me. Not like family, he is my family. And sometimes… sometimes you have to prioritise family. What I think I’m saying is, sometimes Simon is going to come first. And I understand if that’s a dealbreaker, but I–I won’t compromise on that.”
Johnny beams at you as if you’d just told him they'd discovered the moon was made of shortbread.
“Hen, that is–come here.” He doesn’t give you a chance to move before he’s bundling you in his arms, squeezing the life out of you even though you make noises of protest. “Thank ye for being honest, love. Ye know the way the L.T. described ye when he was off his face on anaesthesia?” You shake your head. “His soulmate.”
“Simon? Simon said that.”
“Aye, well, he was fuddlet up ta the eyeballs, but–medicated words, sober thoughts, ye ken.”
“Well, I’d agree. He’s--platonically--a part of me.”
“I feel the same way about my family–though I suppose you ‘n Ghostie got to skip the bit in your teenage years where you’re trying to kill each other.”
You hum. “Feels like he’s trying to kill me when we go to the gym together.”
“O, aye, he’s a monster–anyway, this hasn’t changed anything, love.”
“You’re sure?” you eye him skeptically.
“Well, ye wouldnae begrudge me having to skip a date or miss ye on leave to visit my sisters, would ye?”
“No, of course not.”
“So if ye have to–or want to–cancel or rearrange things because of Ghost, I won’t hold it against you. Was that the only thing ye wanted to talk about?"
You nod. "Yeah. Well, didn't think there'd be much else to say."
"Nae bother," he grins, "I've plenty to catch you up on. Let me get ye another drink--Gaz and I got up to something last month that I've been dying to tell ye about."
You don’t fully trust Johnny's word until it’s put to the test.
He and Simon were both on leave at the same time, and Johnny had spent the first week of that leave with his family. During the second week, the two of you had planned to stay near Lake Windermere for a few days, a midpoint between you. That had been the plan–until Simon came home from therapy.
You could tell it hadn’t gone well from the lack of greeting. Simon always called out when he knew you would be home–your answering call gave him the comforting knowledge of your safety. You don’t hear him shuck off his shoes, or shuffle out of his coat. Instead, he shuffles into the living room and all but collapses into the sofa. His eyes are almost glazed over. You wonder how he even managed to get home.
Immediately, you know you won't be leaving him alone for the rest of the week. You're loathe to even take your eyes off of him for the time it takes to shoot Johnny a message.
< johnny i’m really sorry
< but i can’t meet you tomorrow
> ?? what’s going on hen
< simon needs me
< i wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving him on his own right now
< i’m sorry i know you’ve already paid for this place
< how much was it? i’ll pay
> don’t be silly!!
> now we’ve a couple of options
< ???
> if you think he’d be okay, you could bring ol ghostie up with ye
> if he’s doing better, we could stay for a couple of days at the end of the week, with him or without
> if none of that works out, i can always come down to you if he doesn’t mind
> but how could he say no to my charming company 😎
< you are a godsend, john mactavish. thank you so much
< i’ll keep you posted
> of course love
> let me know if either of you need anything
> <3
“‘m surprised I’ve not had the shovel talk yet, L.T,” Johnny says one evening. They’re sat on a step at base, staring out into the woods as Simon smokes and Johnny tries his best to peel a clementine. (‘Easy peelers’ my arse, he grumbles.)
“Figure you know the score.”
“Aye, but, would ye not feel better threatening me a bit?”
“Why’d I need to do that?”
“Dunno, make sure I stay on the straight ‘n narrow, treat yer lass well.”
“You will.”
“Well ‘o course a will, L.T, just–”
“If I didn’t think you’d treat ‘er well, you wouldn’t ‘ave got this far.”
He can tell it isn’t an empty threat. “There been others who didn’t make it this far?”
“A few,” Simon grunts.
“An’ where are they buried?” Johnny jokes.
Simon takes a deep drag. He exhales even deeper. There’s something like a smirk in his voice when he replies–something knowing, something a little off. “Now, that’d be telling, MacTavish.”
#soap x reader#john soap mactavish x reader#no title for this one its just one lil thing#am i obsessed with friendship? yes#am i obsessed with friendship thats a little too enmeshed? also yes#ill look at this again in the morning im sure its full of mistakes#okay goodnight. mwah
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See Blue Boy is kinda tangential and important (sll does exist and i forgot about it) but the main story of the project is The Tortured Poet and how he tortured her and won her over then left her alone, feeling angry betrayed sad and more.
except joe is over way more of the album that just the songs written exclusively about him. he's in fortnight and fresh out the slammer and the prophecy and peter, he's there when she says "am i allowed to cry?" in guilty as sin, matty is the loss of her life because she gave away everything to be with him. like the main story of the album is matty, but it's impossible to disentangle that main story from joe. like, in the same way mean girls is about more than regina george, there is more than one tortured poet on the album
#asks*#when she's singing about one she is singing about the other just below the surface you know?#like the two situations are too enmeshed
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there is a lot of very good commentary happening in the notes on that "did jgy kill jin rusong" poll in the tags, but i think i am finally too burnt out on that subject even to vote and reblog the poll. tl;dr i don't think there is a definitive answer either way and i don't need for there to be a definitive answer to find jin guangyao interesting and sympathetic.
#salty peak sect 🧂#he did crimes??? good for him 😌#i'm not trying to throw shade at anyone either i promise#i know lots of people still get something out of this debate#and i do too sometimes#some people are also new to the fandom and the story and are enmeshing themselves in this discussion for the first time#but for me it's becoming like the 'did mxy REALLY harass jgy' question#tho that one is worse since the text makes the answer to that question so clear lmao (it's yes. mxy did do the thing. let him be naughty)#but some things become less interesting to me if they have definitive answers#the jin rusong question has become one of those things for me
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i finished my da2 replay with anders rivalmance and i chose to kill him and now i can't stop listening to "i'm not calling you a liar" and it's making me very very sad :(
#it’s funny how this game shifts into a full on romantic tragedy when you go for anders rivalmance#and by funny i mean absolutely fucking devastating#and yes i know i could've let him live. but the tragedy of anders becoming so enmeshed with justice/vengeance that hawke would rather#choose to kill him than see him lose himself even further. is just too delicious of a scenario to pass by#(plus i'll get to make myself even sadder by sacrificing hawke in dai! yay!!)#anyway i've never played da2 with this specific combo and it was soooo fucking good. definitely my new favorite romance option#i could write a whole essay about how much it enhances the overall story and adds nuance to anders' and hawke's characters#not to mention the added tension and personal stakes in act 3#dragon age#dragon age 2
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like i’m not even saying i don’t have an incest thing too i think this blog has taught me CLEARLY i have a parent/child thing going on but for me to have any buy in romantically i need at least one person to acknowledge that something bad is happening here and THEN i can get horny don’t fucking kink shame me!!!!!
#i like it BECAUSE it’s wrong#i don’t want this ‘incest is freeing’ fuck you i want enmeshment#don’t give me this ‘well rhaenyra feels free with’ suck a DICK oh my god#getting on my soap box#jaimeversei doesn’t work for me i need it MORE fucked up until someone is sucking tyrion’s dick too idgaf
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fun etrii facts: her carbuncle, Mimo, is a creature of many mysteries. It's responsive to her emotions, and may become particularly volatile when she's angry or upset. it may or may not have accidentally developed sentience. some of her friends swear that it has upon occasion flashed a full set of human teeth at them, though etrii herself has never witnessed this. she still does not fully understand why mimo can do half of the things it can do. mimo's arcanima glyph is also extremely difficult to replicate, on account of the decades it took to develop having introduced several load-bearing errors. if the lines aren't squiggled exactly right it will not work. it's a mess. but it's her mess.
#mimo is basically what happens when you spend fourty years hotfixing one single carbuncle#just layers and layers of “close enough” stacked on top of each other#and now it's too late to go back and fix any of it. they're all too enmeshed with each other.#upsides: mimo can do things no other carbuncle can#downsides: mimo does things no other carbuncle should#ffxiv#postrii#etrii hartrael
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WATER SEVEN BABYYYYY
Look at robin reacting when luffy says he wont give her up.... 🥺🥺
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This is a joke right now but its actually a one piece tenet aldjsisjka
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Usopp aksbaksjakqk the foreshadow is foreshadowing... Also Robin being happy with the crew after the Aokiji incident... Fuck!!!!
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Sanji thinking robin just vanished or flew away and suddenly usopp is soaring thru the skies... imagine
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AAAAARGGGGHHHH YOU CAN SEE THE GEARS TURNING
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Zoro talking to merry..... only while he is alone of course
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Why are nami and sanji matching ajdhakjsk look at the citrus sisters
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Carpenter: maybe it was the government
Gov agent: I don't think so, also don't say that they are everywhere
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LUFFY SUPPORTS WOMEN'S WRONGS!!!
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Don't scream att chopper like that!!! Look at him... So small....
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Imu tease???? (No) (Also I've changed websites again bc the translation is kinda off , I can't find a good quality b&w spanish translation and the colors scare me (i want the real manga experience))
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GET HIM ICEBURG!!!!
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I truly forgor if this is just a lie about her wanting to find the rio poneglyphs or genuine because she wants to die and will do it for them... because in skypiea she says she is not interested in the weapons so maybe if the gov pardons her but considering what she wants is illegal then idk abdjabjs this is such a dumb thing to forget... like thats important girl where did it go (reading this after remembering and it's kinda funny... i will make any sacrifice to kill myself (and keep you safe)... she goes HARD)
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Little paulie and mozu and kiwi.... omg hello (the SBS says the twins wanted to be shipwrights too omg)
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Franky's backstory is small but it does so much for me like it is so central to the themes... boats and people...
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DID SOMEBODY ORDER MORE TRAGIC BROTHERS?
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The fact that franky needs to learn this lesson to pass it on to robin.... do you understand how big this is.... also Tom does exactly as he says and takes responsibility for franky and what he has done... because he has done nothing wrong AND THAT'S HIS SON and he just punched spandam bc he wanta him to feel the pain franky feels... Tom is such a man..... proud of having built eater 7 up with the sea train.... goes out with a boom.... should we all kill ourselves....
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I am crying again................... franky my god.... and the fucking frog!!! And of course franky can't stop Tom's hope for his island... of course he can't.... he hasnt learnt the lesson yet but this guy isn't over yet!! He has a life of being a pervert cyborg ahead!!! Iceburg following Tom's footsteps but franky not being able to do that bc of his guilt....
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This is one of the coolest things chopper has done btw...
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NAMII 😭😭😭
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Robin damning the world for her crew when all she has ever done is damn her companions for her own sake.... how big is this...
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I can't take this...... it's always nami in these positions... it happens AGAIN in Zou with Sanji... there is no way
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The love letter gag is too good like damn that's so funny
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AND IT'S NAMI GOING THROUGH IT AGAIN!!!! SHE LOVES ROBIN SO MUCH!!!!
#OOOH GRANDPA TEASE!!! he wanted to see luffy too?? omg and he owes garp a favor so he is going to kill him... alright then....#robin attacking FIRST and ZORO coming to her defense!!! CHEFS KISS!!! INCREDIBLE#my GOD!!! ROBIN WANTING TO LEAVE HER PAST BEHIND BC SHE TRULY HAS BEEN CHANGED BY THEM AAAAHHHH#this is so good... aokiji had to end crocodile and he still has a debt to someone (garp?) AND smoker told him stuff about luffy too#kokoro is such an mvp... be careful with the government agents she says.... hell yeah they should do that#the people in water 7 just giving advice to the pirates akdhaksjak sure go fix your boat but down there#robin laughing like ufufufu is so cute... also kalifa knowing everything bc she is literally a gov agent 💀 ICEBURG WAKE UP!!!#lucci pulling out the ship of theseus response akdhakaj conundrum solved everyone!!!#usopp is so heartbreaking already... beaten he goes to franky to get his money back knowing he will lose bc he wants to fix the merry... go#zoro cutting steel like its nothing... yeahhhhh also does luffy think the ship and usopp are like sanji and the baratie??#he wants to sacrifice himself for it but doesn't realize his life is the treasure and not the thing... luffy realizing this is not worth it#the fight was insane.... usopp feels useless and is enmeshed with the merry so he won't let it go and tells luffy does not care when he doe#so luffy gets mad at usopp for lying and not understanding what is going on and says he is not a carpenter (true but hurts) so he is nothin#god it is so bad... sanji breaking p the fight is so important AFTER zoro says to calm down and talk but they rile each other up...#THE DIALOGUE IS INSANE!!!! USOPP IN DENIAL AND LUFFY TAKES ALL OF HIS BAIT IT'S JUST SO AJDBAKSNSKN AND THE ONLY LIES ARE WHAT USOPP THINKS#ABOUT LUFFY!!!! BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO UNDERSTAND!! HE JUST FEELS!! HE SAW MERRY!! THE ONLY ONE!!!#luffy just laying on the hammock for hours... telling nami usopp wouldnt give up his life for an argument... then he only needs to fight...#is luffy fighting usopp just so he can de stress kind of??? like he is letting him get his punches in and then he will come back#once he thinks things through... like nami did... and what sanji ends up doing too... like just give him what he wants#luffy likes fighting friends even and this is the only fight he doesn't want.... the merry crying GOD!!!!#the impact dial... it hurts them both.... jesus.... luffy got two hits in but those were enough.... they are making nami cry SANJI KILL THE#everyone is crying but sanji and zoro akdjsks yeah luffy got him what he wanted... he can keep the ship but he can't beat him#and after all if strength is made by conviction luffy knows he is right and usopp is just in denial... so of course he would lose#franky reveal and Robin assassin reveal at the same time.... just remembered when usopp asked her specialty and robin said assassinations 😭#luffy nami adventures hell yeah.... and theres even more after the aqua laguna... LETSGOOOOO#goddamn you can see the thread of kuzan finding robin with the strawhats to then cp9 forcing her to act in water seven....#franky acting weird because he is worried about iceburg... i know it...#iceburg: its weird youre working for the government... but thats for the audience to worry about. not for me#pluton was built on water seven ✍️✍️✍️ also iceburg saying weapons are bad no matter who holds them... yeah franky would agree#reading one piece
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idk why marius is here djsdfjsdf
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hbo supernatural would have canon incest and you know this in your heart
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what's interesting about anne blacksails bonny as a remarkable entry into the loyal hound genre is that she's introduced as vane's attack dog of all people. which like yeah he's her boss and leader and it speaks to how much he values her potential usefulness because it's certainly not her value as a person he has any consideration for as the captain of the NPS (nassau pirates' ship) Violent Miss O'Ginny but the show demonstrates VERY early on that there's no real respect/loyalty between them as individuals (her readiness to abandon him and how effectively he reins her in on pain of death in 103). it's what it says abt her loyalty to jack because it's the intensity of his loyalty to vane that gets her on side bc she's jack's attack dog to the core. partners til they put us in the fucking ground. loyal hound & pathetic wet cat slash paper towel. and that other guy
#i don't love how the ranger trio ends up on the screen as a whole but textually the ingredients are there for a REALLY interesting dynamic#they don't get much to do in s1 and by the time late s3 rolls around and gives them more space as a unit its too late partly bc jackanne are#enmeshed in functioning as a unit with max. but it's there. and i love the save jack teamup that happens after flint rearranges vanes psyche#black sails#mawdop#i'm not even watching the show rn i just talked to livvy for 10 mins about them giving it a shot in the near future
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ok i took a nap so i feel a bit better. but like---tell me why i always have the weirdest dreams whenever i take naps
#thoughts#i think this was my first beatles dream too#it was about mclennison#but i can't remember shit#other than like. they were enmeshed#like one big monster#wish i could remember so that i could add something to that fic idea
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Ive been trying to collect my thoughts for like two weeks now on what sally reed’s real happy ending would look like and I have found absolutely no answer but it is I think helpful in understanding what’s going on with her last episode before she agrees to go with barry.
Because it’s an absolutely bonkers decision and we see absolutely none of her deliberation really - in fact she has a connection with an agent and might be able to get some minor roles! So it’s kind of surprising when you see her decide to go to her home where you both know he is. Like it’s weird! Until you remember Barry is about how the entire entertainment industry is inescapably exploitative especially towards women. The thing is that Sally wants to be famous but tied up in that is needing to feel safe and powerful. Its not worth disentangling the two theyre co-constitutive. And with Joplin? When she was her own boss with recognition and power? It was taken away from her in a heartbeat and there was no recourse. And she’s furious because she thinks if she’s just good enough and if she works hard she should be owed it. And if someone else like Natalie or Barry gets it she can’t handle it.
And so her entire subplot in episode 4 is in this frame the most concise perfect storytelling. She gets back and is so close to the Thing that will Make it Better, it’s the moving and fame and production and the lights flare. And then she meets a famous oscar-winning director who’s working on a project she hates, with actors cast to be conventionally beautiful and a nonsense plot and 90% green screen. And Sally acts for her, assuming that being good will actually get you something, and fails! (Don’t EVEN get me started on the gender politics here. the only man is the agent offering her a gig but it also doesn’t move the needle because women in barry do misogyny too)
So the realization that HAS to come is that this is futile. She will absolutely never be powerful without someone holding a trapdoor that can take it all away. You can direct CODA and you’ll still be stuck here. She will never be safe. And she can’t go home. So after that, well. Barry.
#as a person for whom straight patriarchy has just a low emotional valence#(ie. it factors into my conscious day to day experience very little even as it has enormous unseen impacts)#barry is genuinely a ridiculously good portrayal of it#its fairly isolated to a specific context (white entertainment gender politics)#so like. outside of LA the idea that sally reed is too ugly for fame is very very silly#but its so enmeshed in that context that it scans. it doesn't reach. its about entertainment and it knows it#barry hbo#this is too long but im on my laptop so typing is too easy and. yknow. sally
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Sometimes I worry I get too self-indulgent w how I portray Alfonse w Sharena, ESP keeping that one FEH comic in mind (which shows Alfonse and Sharena's differing boundaries, and how Alfonse in general "isn't much of a hugger") BUT. In my heart............. I like to imagine....... there are moments where he'll happily allow it. But the Problem Here, is if he gives Sharena an inch, she's taking a mile. She's going to completely smother him. She's dangling off his shoulders and squishing herself against him in ways previously thought impossible. Which may or may not be a contributing factor as to why he's a little apprehensive by default. And it's a feedback loop. Him being standoffish, her trying sooooo hard to respect that when she's STARVING for that physical affection, him allowing it, her squeezing him so hard that if he wasn't in armor he might break a rib. Endless loop. Unique hell. But they do love each other, completely.
#i also like to play w the idea that like. maybe their boundaries aren't so good. actually.#i also think A Lot. about the way alfonse locks up during rosado's fbs. when sharena expresses her feelings to him#IT ALWAYS FUCKING. REALLY ALWAYS FUCKING STUCK OUT TO ME. NAGGED AT ME.#when i say playing w boundaries i mean what if there was an over reliance on one another?#that really should have and would have been avoided if they weren't raised in seclusion presumably even from each other#LIKE. at times??? i have to imagine there were Times. or at v least the way each of them were raised differently#created this sense of absence/distance from each other. also not even gonna get INTO sharena's whole ordeal.#but i'm getting rambly. we really do not have the details. but what i'm getting at is the idea that#bruno was the first person each had like. a normal relationship with. and i think a lot of self-correcting took place over the course of it#'a normal relationship' like. mileage may vary. but. i think he did set an example in a way.#like. something something emotional enmeshment/entanglement and this sort of hot/cold#distance vs being too close/relying too much on each other exclusively. which would have been remedied#if they had like. any stable/heathy bonds w anyone but each other. espppp growing up.#and currently they just kinda do this back and forth. correcting and falling back and TRYING. to strike Some sort of balance.#but ALSO in a very sweep it under the rug way. we don't talk about it way. which. may only make things Worse#but sharena was raised like 'everything is Fine 😊' and alfonse was raised like Burden Of The Entire World. Yours Alone. Forever.#idk idk just. i heart familial drama. ect.#fe alfonse#sharena
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The influx of sister incest posting makes me want to kms
#idk if its the apologia or my experiences with her but it jumpscared me today and stressed me out a lot#i think what makes me the most sick is the fantasy portraying COCSA (bc all of them love loli too🙃)a victimless crime.#or enmeshment#it very much is not
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what’s been killing me lately is I don’t feel enmeshed with anyone in my life anymore. not my sister, not my mum, not any friends. There is nobody anymore that knows my daily. That knows how I feel on the daily or goes through my mundane life with me or knows all the details about the more exciting parts of my life—just highlights maybe. I feel so alone and everyone is drifting away and it seems to not bother anyone else
#like when I tell myself I’m all I have and I’m my own best friend it’s painfully true#mine#I’m all alone…..#I’m used to having at least one person that knows everything about me and how I feel about it all#and knowing their affairs and feelings too#not being close and deeply enmeshed with people is against my nature…
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