#it’s the same face she makes in staged pap photos

[jewishbarbies]

shit like this is why that joke was made at the golden globes. everyone else in the box is watching on a tv and taylor is the ONLY person at the window for any reason. “she’s in love!!!” there’s a player’s wife and child in there who aren’t at the window either. you can’t tell me taylor isn’t doing this for pr, or taking advantage of the pr at the very least, when she does shit like this with her signature ‘I’m on camera’ facial expression.

[canirove]

Friends, lovers… and an orange | Chapter 11

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Masterlist

It had been almost three months since Adele had said yes to being Mason's fake girlfriend in hopes that it would help them get rid of the paps, and so far, it had worked.

They had decided to start putting their plan in motion during fashion month. Adele had joined Mason in New York, Milan and Paris, where they were caught by the paparazzis while going for a walk around the city or leaving their hotel. Though they hadn’t been caught. Not really. Everything had been planned beforehand with his agency, from the time when they would go out, to the place where they would be spotted, to even both their outfits. The only thing that hadn't been staged, was their faces in the photos. 

Mason's agency had told them to look in love, to be affectionate with each other, but Adele couldn't manage to do it. The paps made her feel very nervous and uncomfortable, and in most photos she looked miserable and like she hated life, while Mason looked perfect, always smiling and talking to her, trying to make her laugh and relax. But so far, it had not worked. 

Once fashion month was over, Adele had also joined him on some work trips. When he wasn't shooting, they would go out for lunch, dinner or just do touristy things. Sometimes they would be stopped by fans who asked to take photos with them or just Mason, those same fans then taking photos of them when they weren't looking and posting them online. Those photos were some that Adele didn't mind, because they looked real. They were real. Mason making fun of her because her food was too spicy was real. Her laughing every time he tried to imitate the accent of the country they were in, was real. And them taking photos of each other and everything and anything they saw, was real too. 

All those photos they were taking, especially Adele, gave Mason a new idea. 

"I think you should open your own photography instagram account, Addie. I've seen a bunch of Formula 1 drivers do it with the photos they take during their trips and each race, and they name them something jpg." he explained. "I think you could do the same, and post there all these photos you are taking. That way my agency will stop asking you to make your personal account public, there will be no more friend requests from random people, and you would also be sharing your talent with the world."

"My talent?" Adele laughed.

"Yes, your talent. You know you have it" Mason winked, making her blush. 

And that, was how addie.jpg had been born. Fans loved it, Mason's agency loved it, and she had found herself loving it too. 

Everything seemed to be working out as planned, but when they were invited to a Vogue party in Madrid, Adele's feelings decided to show up. 

So far, she had managed to keep them locked away and to not think too much about all the new things she was feeling for Mason and that had never been there before. But not that night.

As usual, they were arriving together to the event, but then Adele would skip the red carpet. Posing in front of the cameras was his thing, not hers. Besides, someone always took photos of them together inside all the parties they attended, and that was enough to make the fans and his agency happy. 

It had been while Adele was talking with one model she had met when she had been in Paris with her mum, that she had seen them. Mason and the girl from Toni's birthday party, the one she had noticed flirting with him. Which was what she was doing again. 

They seemed to be just talking, but the way she was laughing at everything he said, the way she flipped her hair and looked at him, and the way she would touch his arm, said that she was doing more than that. She was back at it, and Adele didn't like it. Everyone believed Mason was her boyfriend, so how did she dare flirt with him? And doing it knowing that she was also there, almost in front of them?

"If you'll excuse me" she said to the model she was talking to, whatever she was feeling on her stomach getting stronger by the second. No, not whatever. Her jealousy. She was jealous of that gorgeous girl flirting with Mason.

"Adele, hey" Mason smiled when he saw her walking towards them.

"Hello" she smiled back, putting her arm around his waist and definitely catching him by surprise. He was the affectionate one, not her. 

"Have you guys met?" he asked, nodding towards the other girl.

"I don't think so, no. I'm Adele, Mason's girlfriend" she had said, offering her her hand. 

"Wait, so this is real?" the girl chuckled. "You two are together?"

"We are, yes. Why?" Adele asked.

"Well, business gossip says it is all PR. You always look so miserable when you are seen out and about…"

"That’s because Addie isn’t the biggest fan of the paps” Mason laughed, putting his arm around her shoulders like he always did.

“I am not, no. They can be so rude sometimes just to get a reaction…”

“All that gossip you are hearing is just that, gossip. We are very real" he said, pulling Adele closer towards him while kissing her temple. 

"We are" she replied while looking him in the eyes, the way he smiled at her making her feel butterflies on her stomach. That, was new.

"Oh, ok. Good for you" the girl said, leaving them alone. After that, they spent the rest of the night together, always touching each other in one way or the other, and Adele found herself loving it. 

What she didn't love tho, was her brain keeping her awake when they went back to their hotel. 

She had feelings for Mason, she was falling for him. And that wasn't the plan. What was she going to do now? What if she actually fell in love with him? What if he didn't feel the same? Or worse… What if he felt the same? Could they start dating? Like, for real? And would it work? What if it didn't and they ruined the relationship their families had?

"Urgh" Adele groaned, covering her face with a pillow. She needed to speak about all this with someone, but with whom?

Jourdan had already let her know that she could always talk to her if her feelings for Mason changed. Adele had actually promised her she would do it if that ever happened, and they had been friends since they were ten. Jourdan had seen her fall in love for the first time, go through her first heartbreak, and basically everything related to her love life. She knew her better than she knew herself. But she also knew she wasn’t in the mood to hear her say I told you.

Her next option was Luca, but he wasn’t the best when it came to giving advice. Besides, he would start making jokes, not listen to her, and it wasn't what she needed. 

Alex came next. He would definitely listen to her, but she was also sure that he would not be able to keep a conversation like that from his brother. With those three options ruled out, the last one was telling her parents.

When Adele and Mason had told their parents what they were planning on doing, her father hadn’t taken it well. He had been very disappointed with them, and especially with her. “If you have fallen in love with each other and are together, I can understand that it may feel weird to share it because of how close our families are. But lying to everyone like this, playing this game… I didn't expect it from you, Adele” he had told her. But could she talk with her mother about this? Could she call her and tell her, hey mum, I have feelings for Mason that go beyond friendship and I think I’m falling in love with him. What should I do? How do you even start that conversation? Also, knowing Elizabeth, she would end up telling Toni, who then would end up telling her husband, who would tell Adele’s dad and… No. Her mother wasn’t an option either.

“I’m fucked” Adele sighed as she grabbed her phone. It was 5 a.m. and still dark outside, so she decided to put on one of those relaxing videos from Youtube that should help you sleep and not think about anything. They had helped during long flights before, so hopefully they would also do the trick that night.

Hopefully…

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

IPSO anon here.

Re: parliament vote, Thomas revealed, Markle setting him up.

I think the 3 things are 3 sides of the same triangle. This is my theory. 

I don’t think Markle needed to set her father up per se since all 3, Thomas, Doria AND Meghan, were using the same pap in the 205-2018 period. 

However, I firmly believe that she ghosted her father a long time before the wedding, but either he wasn’t getting the hint or he was saw a chance to make some money/ sell a recrafted image because he saw that Doria was making her own papstrolls without a peep from Markle.

Doria is excluded from being media revealed because Markle seeded the R card so the media will never reveal Doria or at the very least proceed with extreme caution. 

So Markle knows Thomas is a staged papstroll, but can’t tell the royals the truth. Or even if she did set him up, the pictures were very clearly staged and everyone knew it except the royals who inexplicably believed her explanations when she was clearly ( allegedly) lying on many different things especially involving media. 

Having ( allegedly)  dropped Thomas, she had no legit way to make it public without looking like a cold so and so. 

And perhaps you are correct with your theory that the plan involved some sort of very public fakery to allow him to decline his invitation publicly.

Either way, the media revelation of the staged pap photos was the golden ticket that fell into all their laps. 

Most of the public don’t follow the royals like we do ie they don’t know enough to see that she lied and then used a very feeble excuse to drop him. They don’t see that Doria was doing the same yet remains unscathed, that Markle wished to drop Thomas long before the wedding, if she hadn’t done so already.  

The first they know about any of this is the media revelation. Which the media AND all Markles pretend to be SHOCKED that he was staging pics when it was pretty obvious at the time of publication to everyone that they were staged. 

In comparison, imagine media outing Meghan’s carpark papstrolls framed as SHOCKED to find that they were staged. 

And this revelation is the perfect opportunity for all parties to withdraw. 

I think what was shocking for Thomas was finally facing the fact that his beloved, favourite daughter really had ghosted him and that’s what drove him to hospital. 

It took many months for it to finally sink in and that’s why he kept trying to contact her though his only route was via the media as she wasn’t responding privately. 

Going by Thomas Jnr’s social media, it’s finally sank in and he is done with her. 

****

This makes a lot of sense. 

This is also why I think the Samantha Markle v. Meghan Markle lawsuit is going to be very interesting. If it goes to trial (and right now, that’s up in the air since there are rumors that WME is pressuring Meghan to settle), the mud is going to fly - Samantha will try to ruin Meghan, Harry, and Doria down; Meghan will try to ruin Samantha, Thomas, and Thomas Jr.; and both of them will tell on themselves. It runs in the family, after all.

[thisislittlerunaway]

My take on Nic and word play:

Given that Nic has praised her fans on being great detectives I think it is quite likely that she chooses what she posts on SM wisely with different layers of message for the GA, casual fans and hardcore fans to interpret.

It is obvious she has posted cryptic messages before, the Ratatouille being one of them - to this day no one seemed to have offered a convincing enough interpretation of this very random post.

Furthermore, Nic also has a passion for words and the English language (don’t forget her university degree), and we have seen how exceptionally eloquent she is during interviews. Her choice of words are well considered, requiring lots of thoughts and showing great awareness of what’s going on around her.

Finally Nic is known to be chronically online and she keeps up with all the latest trends and gossip on the internet, including what her fans are talking about.

With these in mind, one definitely should not overlook her SM posts and just read them for what they are, especially when there have so much dramas going on lately (papgates, HBS, L’s PR disaster and the hatred he faces).

So let’s have a look at her recent insta posts in the past couple of days and try to add some layers of meaning to them, perhaps we might be on to something? 😉

First, while we know that Nic was advocating for a good movement by reposting this in her story, could this at the same time be a plea for fans to stop the hatred towards Luke?

Then there’s the Wordle post which showed Nic is clearly proud of her achievement (she should be - that’s impressive), but has anyone looked up all the meanings of the word ‘anvil’? There’s one that sounds… really interesting:

‘You can refer to a difficult experience that changes someone or leads to something good as a particular type of anvil.’

Is it Nic’s way of assuring fans that this difficult period will lead to something good eventually? One can even interpret this further as Nic sympathising with Lukola fans who are starving in the restaurant, and promising them they will get well fed soon once S4 filming starts.

Following her Wordle post Nic posted a photo of her playing Scrabble at the pub with some Guiness coasters on the table. As any Lukola fans and they would know Guiness is Luke’s favourite drinks Is she suggesting that she is with Luke? Or is she subtly hinting that Luke is in her mind? To be fair, just the idea of entertaining these possibilities in our head is enough to lift our spirit. Maybe Nic knows the impact the post can have on us and deliberately staged her photo a certain way to keep us happy, how kind! 😉.

The words seen on the Scrabble board are also interesting. Maybe they mean something (lots of drama-triggering words: fate, dead, lied, dirt) but I try to not overthink this because with Scrabble you play what you pick so can only make certain words each round.

Finally, Nic made a rare grid post earlier today to celebrate her best friend Camilla’s birthday. This immediately made me think about Luke’s first pap walk. While L seemed to be ignoring A, refusing to hold her hand and running away when the paps appeared, Nic praised her best friend on covering her face and protect her from the paps. It seems she’s trying to tell Luke: ‘see THIS is how you treat your loved one during a pap encounter’ 🤣. Another way of looking at this post is Nic trying to tell us Luke isn’t serious with his alleged gf. Otherwise he would have protected her from the paps like Camilla did to her. So Lukola can just chill now and don’t have to worry about a L&A end game.

[spade-riddles]

Submission:

It's so frustrating to see people making excuses for Karlie based on Taylor's lyrics. What did you really expect?? Taylor admitting that her wife has made (and continues to do so) some terrible, miscalculated business and life choices which have put both of them in a horrible position? That Karlie's closest former (SB) and current (JK) business partners are responsible for the loss of her masters and possibly the derail of all her c.o. plans?

That her wife, despite the misery and pain caused to millions by the Kushner krime family, still hangs around them? That she allows (potentially) their innocent child to partake in photo-ops with them and be perceived as a member of that notorious family? How could Taylor ever allude to all that in her lyrics, when Karlie already faces an onslaught of hate, not all of it unwarranted if we're being honest, online??

Taylor would never do such thing, and of course she would instead focus on the best aspects of Karlie, and good for her. But let's not use it as “proof” that Karlie has done nearly no wrong, and is extremely honorable, and the reason she does all she does is because Taylor asks her to?! Do you really want us to believe that Taylor asked Karlie to stage pap shoots of convicted criminal Charles Kushner with Levi? Did she also ask Karlie to bring Josh to the women's march??

Forget about the Kushners. Did Taylor ask Karlie to hang around the likes of Geffen and Russian oligarchs too? Please... Cause the one time Taylor dared to call Karlie out in one of her most revealing songs “maybe YOU run with the wolves and REFUSED to settled down” most kaylors suffered selective memory loss. The same thing that happened, when before the faux wedding, numerous sources were saying that KK & Josh wanted to become the new DvF & Barry Diller. Or was this also a plan of Taylor's?

I get feeling protective of Karlie, I do to against unreasonable hate, but not all criticism is unreasonable or unfair. And to pin most of her actions on Taylor is both unfair and unfounded. Taylor owning up to her fair share of blame through her music doesn't preclude the possibility that Karlie bears the biggest share. Regardless of how a hopeless romantic likes to portray the love of her life in her art. There are indisputable facts which contradict said portrayal... as for now at least.

I'm an older kaylor, I've stuck with the girls through thick and thin, but I refuse to gaslight myself into turning an extremely well-connected multi-millionaire into a hapless victim, because I can't accept that sadly she's seemingly slowly turning into the company she keeps.

[bcofl0ve]

(Mean no hate whatsoever just find this funny)

People arguing with the wall that Kaia and Austin (who rarely get seen together LMAO) are PR meanwhile they praise Dua and Callum like … YA’LL DUMB 🌚 Dua is not *that* famous for the traction she’s getting and I like her and Callum together I just found that crazy

no real like i personally loveee dua and callum idc if its staged pap walks they're clearly having fun and like being around each other/adore each other. i vote gimme more! i like dua and her vacation plus one ken doll <3 ive always really liked her music too before someone tells me i'm being fake or something lol. the roller rink disco vibe music just scratches an itch on my brain.

but yes it does make me giggle in that knowing if austin and kaia "did" half of what they have the tinfoil hatters would be losing their ever loving fucking minds lmfao. yettttt they barley get photographed together anymore and ppl still scream until theyre blue in the face that its pr. the literal only photo we got of them in the same shot at the palm royale premiere looks like it was taken on a nokia like helloodidij. they barely get papped together really at all anymore when you really look at it from a birds eye view. which is nice for them i suppose, though i do miss the milo walk photos!

lucky callum that he doesnt have batshit insane fans who are doing well *gestures* what we know some of austin's do. peace in the valley for thee, but not for me!

[jesslockwood]

SOUR | T. Holland

Word Count: 1.7k

Pairing(s): Tom Holland x Actress!Reader

Warnings: angsty af, swearing

Summary: y/n and tom broke up, and when tom comes around with his new girl 2 weeks later, y/n is sour. 

A/n: I was hesitant to post this due to everything going on with tom lmao but yk, fuck it lol. anyways lmk if you want a part two cause I this was pretty short and I have ideas! also I didn’t edit this much lol so sorry for the mistakes!

His brown guilty eyes were enough to know that he moved on, in two weeks to be exact, after you broke it off. He was spotted recently with a girl he said he was just friends with, what a damn lie. 

You try to not let the tears out as you see them making their way on the red carpet of the movie premiere. He looked you straight in the fucking eyes, yet couldn’t even give you a heads up he was bringing a date tonight. You worked together for six months yet he didn’t have the decency.  

He betrayed you. He didn’t cheat but he betrayed you. 

You had even mentioned her by name before, yet he said you were paranoid and had nothing to worry about. What bullshit. 

She was just a new trophy for him, one that he’d put on the shelf later, or smash like it like you were broken. 

 It started out so sweet and innocent. You had met working together and had started dating under the radar, and you fell in love with him so quickly, even at his worst, but it didn’t matter. He moved on with you still in the picture and that’s what hurt the most. But he would never see or care about how much you hurt. He wasn’t sorry. 

Isn’t it funny how someone you thought could love you the way you loved them, was a damn traitor? 

He played all these twisted games with your mind, thinking that he felt the same way about you, or at least cared. 

God, you wanted to scream, she was sleeping in the bed you lied in and made with him. But she couldn’t care less, she got the prize, a shitty one at that. 

You didn’t get it, he couldn’t have fallen in love with someone that quickly, not after what you had. 

All you had done for Tom, it didn’t apparently matter to him, cause he’s dating her. He gave you his fucking word, that you were the one who meant something to him, you guessed he just used you.

She was gorgeous too, and she made you feel so small, unimportant and the paparazzi all turned to them, and barely any was paying any mind to you, the star of the movie. It sounded selfish but you put the blood sweat and tears into this movie, and all she had to do was walk with the man you put blood sweat and tears into, and she had all the attention.

He just had to bring her and was showing her off like a new trophy. God, you hated him. You hated him for hurting you like this. And yet, if he asked for you back, you would probably jump at the chance. 

He seemed so genuine and true when you had first met him. Brown doe-eyed, attentive and listening to every word you said like it was the most important thing in the world, then things got ugly. He would play all these twisted games with you, making you feel like nothing one moment, and then his everything the next. 

He even gave you his fucking word and a promise ring that he would always love you, But Isn’t it funny? He’ll never feel sorry for breaking you. 

Suddenly one of your friends, well tom’s brother, wraps his arm around your waist, whispering to you, asking if your okay, before the paps get a few snaps in of the moment. Harry starts leading you away from the commotion before you cried. No one had asked you that until today. Which kind of shell shocked you, because you weren’t and he was the first person who seemed to care.

Harry at the moment couldn’t care less about the out-of-character way his brother was acting, especially towards you. Yes, he loved his brother but hated how he was acting. He couldn’t see how he could treat someone as lovely as you like that. 

Tom didn’t even notice the way you were destroyed. He let you go, Harry couldn’t understand why because tom seemed so happy with you, until nearing the end of the relationship. 

“Thank you, Harry.” you sniffle, once reaching the inside of the building. 

“You shouldn’t be thanking me. I should be apologizing for my brother.”

You smile weakly at him. He wipes the tears from your eyes, before suggesting,

“After they have you up on stage for the thank you’s and stuff, we should just ditch this and go back to my hotel and get room service and raid my candy stash, if you’re up for it.”

“I’ll think about it,” you say with a more genuine yet sad smile.

“Let’s get in there, shall we?” he puts his arm out for you and you link yours in his. 

What you didn’t realize is that tom saw harry wiping your tears while doing an interview, and saw you link your arms together when he got inside. To say he was fuming doesn’t even cover how enraged he was. 

Once getting in, you realized you and tom would be sitting next to one another, something you truly wished you could get out of. 

“You’d better wish me luck.” You point to the seats. 

Harry got the bright idea to just take his brother’s spot. He wouldn’t care anyway, he had his new girl Zabrina. 

You and Harry had a small conversation about what both of you had been up to after he was Tom’s assistant for filming. You saw him almost every day when you and tom would hang out, harry being the third wheel. You had spent a decent chunk of time with him and definitely preferred the company over being alone, or with your ex.

“I can’t believe you dropped your SD card down the drain! Photos are your life, so you should have paid attention!” you laugh with him.

“Harry, You’re in my seat.” Tom interrupts, with a scowl on his face. 

“Can’t you just move down one? Y/n and I are talking here.”

“Tommy I can’t see from that seat!” Zabrina pouts like a child. 

“If she can’t see why do I have to sit there? I actually worked behind the scenes on this movie!” 

“Harry, don’t make me-”

“You know what! Harry and I were leaving after we thank everyone. So you two lovebirds can have the whole row!” you say venom seething from your mouth. 

“There you go, Tommy. Have a nice night you two!” Harry follows up, really sick of the attitude his brother was having.

Tom’s face turned red under the makeup he had on. He was enraged. His brother was betraying him. 

“Have a nice time, fucking around” he said, seeing red. he saw your face soften, from anger to confusion, to sadness. You didn’t think he thought so low of you.

“What the fuck tom! We aren’t-”

“It’s not worth it Harry, he’s not worth it,” you say sadly. Standing up, Turning to go towards the stage. 

That hit tom with a pang in his chest. He was just trying to get over you, to move forward. But maybe that was the problem. He just left you in the dust (peter parker is that you?) to navigate the way you felt over losing one of the best things you ever had. God, you wished you didn’t fall in love with him before he betrayed you. You wished he just would have thought it through before he ruined you. 

Your director motioned over to you and Tom to go up on the stage. 

“I’ll meet you outside, Y/n/n.” 

That was tom’s nickname for you. He came up with it and he was the only one who could call you that. You were his and he was yours. But yet he knew that long-distance was so fucking hard. He couldn’t put you or himself, so he found someone who was fine with the distance. Zabrina barely paid attention to him unless he wanted attention for herself, but he didn’t realize how he broke much more of you than the surface showed. 

“She’s really pretty, I hope she makes you happy,” you mention bitterly, hoping in a terrible way,  he’d never be as happy as he was with you. 

Before Tom, you scream out no one would make him happy as you did. Your director cut tom off.

After your director said thanks to everyone and the film started you grab your bag from your assistant, before heading to the exit, tom hurriedly tried to follow you, being caught by Zabrina, asking Tom to take a selfie with her, so she could commemorate her ‘prize’ when truly, Tom was using her as a rebound. 

“Zabrina, I need to talk to harry!” he whispers yells.

“Why? He literally is taking to your wretched ex?” she says with venom in her voice. 

Tom jogs around her, trying to get to you and Harry, While Zabrina dramatically calls after him.

He was too late, though, he saw you from the doors, you were already getting in your getaway car, with Harry. He ruined everything.

Harry and you were sitting in the limousine that was rented for you, before harry states, “He’ll be the one who crying, I promise you.”

“I always knew this is how He’d leave me. He found someone more exciting, and better than me. I was used a discarded like nothing.” you laugh through the tears.

“You’ll find someone who finds you exciting Y/n, and you’ll be their whole world.” he comforts you.

“Good for him I guess, but it’s like we never happened. Like what the fuck is that?” you ask.

“He’s acting like a damn sociopath.” harry shrugs.

You laugh at that one. 

“So what do you want to watch Y/n?”

“Would you hate me if I said legally blonde?”

“Not if we can watch fight club after.” 

“You have a deal, Sir!”

Tom however was stuck, watching you and him on screen. Reminiscing of how he fucked up. 

It was getting close to an intimate scene, probably his favorite one he’s ever done. All he could think about was someone else getting to touch you, and be with you, he wanted that but at the same time, he couldn’t deal with all the shit of being with you. The relationship was too good, so much that Tom thought sometimes he didn’t deserve someone like you. It was probably crazy of him for thinking like that, but he couldn’t bring you down with him, not when he was so fucked up. He wished he could be the one but he couldn’t so he just hoped you were okay.  

Tags:

@spideyspeaches

@greenorangevioletgrass

@queenofthepouges

@minejungwoo

@keithseabrook27

@lolooo22

@webmeupspiderdaddy

@harryhollandsgirlfriend

[hwrryscherry]

HARRY x MODEL Y/N  facts part.1

HARRYxMODELY/N masterlist is here.

Credits: The middle manip on this edit picture (the one with Harry’s yellow suit) was made by the beautiful @/94sbells.

Author’s note: HEY GUYS! I know that I’ve been kinda gone lately, but I have reasons for that. My summer vacation ended, and I had to go back to school. We’re still studying online, but I had to take a diagnostic test this past week so they’d know how’s my scholarity level. So, because of all the studying and trying to keep up on a new school (yes, I moved from schools.), I didn’t have any time to write or finish my writings. I’ll try finishing a request today because I’m feeling super creative and nostalgic BUT to everyone who follows HARRYxMODELY/N series, like it and miss it, I just did this ‘’facts-timeline’’ in a hope to feed you guys lol. Anyway, this is like a time line of 2017 and how their relationship developed on that year. I plan on doing one for each year till 2020 and post it on the break between posting the requests. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and maybe discover things about them that you didn’t know yet. Love you all and thank you for the support and love! TPWK and remember that you’re so golden.

The first ever communication between them was on May 12th, 2017(Model Y’N’s 20th birthday) AND the realesing of HS1 album.

She sent a DM to him on instagram congratulating him by saying she loved the album and wished him all the success.

No, they didn’t know each other and she honestly thought that he’d never answer to her.

After a few hours, Harry answered to her message and she freaked out but never answered back because she didn’t want to bother him.

They officialy met on November 28th, 2017 when Harry performed on Victoria Secrets Fashion Show that occured in Shanghai, China.

It was the first time that Model Y/N ever walked for Victoria Secrets.

She walked the Goddesses segment while Harry sang ‘’Only Angel’’.

Harry literally got on his knees when she walked past him.

He likes to describe his emotion at that moment as “mesmerized”.

Even though she knew that VS models and the singers are supposed to flirt a little on stage to create a teasing sensation, she was so surprised by his actions.

After the show was done, Harry wasn’t going to attend the VS after party but decided to attend last minute because he wanted to know her.

He approached her very calmly and gentle and invited her to ‘’hang out’’ with him and his band through Shanghai as he was going to leave on the next day to complete his tour.

She asked Bella to go with her because she didn’t want to hang out with him and his bandmates alone as they didn’t know each other.

But she did felt a huge connection between them almost immidiately.

Through Shanghai, Harry was hitting on her the ENTIRE time! He was complimenting, being super nice, and flirting as well but she honestly thought he was just being nice.

Harry thought for a while that she was playing it hard to get until he realized that she wasn’t.

They spent the whole night going through Shanghai.

They went to Nanjing Road and walked around seeing the lights.

They bought those film cameras and took the funniest pictures ever. They still have those films but never digitalized it to the computer.

They went to all those mini bars and had a few drinks while eating chinese food.

Btw, Harry and Model Y/N LOVE chinese food.

They were on the same hotel.

They didn’t go back yet but plan to do so when quarantine is over.

When it was about 8am, they came back to their hotel.

They both agreed that they would come back to Shanghai one day to go to disneyland.

So Harry went back to his tour and Model Y/N went back to NYC.

On the night out in Shanghai they exchanged numbers because Bella Hadid(Model Y/N’s bff)noticed that Harry was interested on Model Y/N, so she casually told them that they should get each other’s number.

The media was crazy about them. First it was the VS move and then there was tons of paps photos of them out in Shanghai.

The media was trying to sell the story as if they were already dating before the VS, which wasn’t true.

They talked for months as friends because of the number exchange.

They talked via texts, calls and face time all the time but it wasn’t anything more than friendship to her.

Model Y/N and some friends of her was planning on traveling to Ibiza, Spain to celebrate New Year’s Eve and as she and Harry were getting really close to each other she invited him and told him that he could take whoever he wanted.

Of course she thought he was cute and had a small crush but nothing extreme.

Harry did invited her for some of his shows but she couldn’t attend any of it.

That made Harry think that she didn’t like him.

She thought he was going to take a girlfriend.

Harry took Gemma and her boyfriend to the trip with him.

Yes, their whole group of friends were there as well but midia acted like there was only them in it.

They were in Ibiza from December 28th, 2017 to January 3rd, 2018.

The group of friends that was in Ibiza with them included Bella Hadid, Fai Khadra, Imaan Hammam, Grace Elizabeth, Gemma Styles, Machine Gun Kelly, Model Y/N’s brother, etc.

And yes, there were TONS of paps in Ibiza following them because the media was selling the whole ‘’Harry Styles’s new girlfriend’s thing.“

Harry is super private about relationships and Model Y/N had ended a serious relationship early that year so they just didn’t address any rumors because they didn’t care about what the media said.

They “saw” each other as friends and that was what mattered.

It was probably the most random group of friends that she ever traveled with, but it was fun on the same way.

They had a really cool and funny vibe, and it was really easy to everyone to get along.

When fans noticed that Y/N’s friends were following Harry on social media they really thought all the rumors were real.

Their house was really close to the beach, so you could actually see it by Harry’s bedroom barricade.

They usually went to the beach or stayed by the pool during the day and went out at night.

Honestly, they used to come home from the nightlife of Ibiza at 3/4am.

They’d wake up after noon for sure.

Harry wouldn’t eat his breakfast until Model Y/N’s woken up.

He’d cook an avocado toast sandwich to her every morning and wait for her to wake up.

He’d do it because on one of their late night talks, she had told him that she loved it so much.

They’d eat at the barricade while watching the beach.

Model Y/N HAD always been obsessed with Harry’s hair and she’d tell him that he needed to moisturize his hair as they were under the sun all the time.

It was just an excuse to touch his hair.

So they’d exchange it. She’d put oil on his hair, and he’d put on hers.

If they had to go to the beach, Harry would convince her to do the craziest things like fly board flying, going on jetskis together and those things.

He was the only one to convince her to do it because she is TERRIFIED of swimming in the ocean.

They’d all go out for lunch on some restaurants and after going shopping before the sunset.

Harry would always come to her saying like “oh, this would look good in you” whenever he saw a piece of cloth that he liked.

Some fans would post pics of them on social media only making the rumors go hard.

Then one fan would post that met up with them and they said they’re just friends, which was true at that time.

Back at the house, they’d get ready to enjoy the Ibiza nightlife.

They’d dress a little better and go out to some bar or club.

Do you know those videos of Harry dancing in Anguilla? It would be the same vibe. Harry and Model Y/N would vibe so hard to the songs, and dance and shout and sing. It would be really funny.

Model Y/N used to go to his room at 4 am when they came back from the street because they usually sit by the barricade and talked for hours.

They’d talk about all the things that mattered to them, like: career, fashion, music, video, paintings, friends, family, how fame changed their lives.

They’d laugh about all the dating rumors as well, but it would be that type of laugh like “lol I wished it was true.”

They’d tell each other dad jokes and stories about their lives and experiences until the sunrise.

By the afternoon of December 31st, 2017, they were all talking about their new year’s kiss and they decided that Harry and Y/N would be one of the pairs to kiss.

Model Y/N agreed but it was more of a joke to her than a real kiss; she didn’t take it seriously.

They all got ready to celebrate NYE on the beach.

On the next day there were tons of videos of them dancing on the beach and them with fans as well.

When the New Year came, they had their first kiss and of course that changed everything.

Both of them felt sparkles and by the effect of a few drinks that both of them had on that night, they did share some other kisses here and there on that night.

For a miracle, no one captured them kissing on camera.

FACTS OF HARRY & MODEL Y/N’S RELATIONSHIP THROUGH 2018 WILL BE CONTINUED ON THE NEXT POST.

[whatiwillsay]

what really inspired the babe music video though...

So if you’ve read my babe mv analysis you know it’s one of the world’s loudest and best gaylor proofs in existence.  What I want to explore here however is why 5-6 years after Swiftgron was over, is Taylor digging up the grave another time to drag her ex.  

Seriously stop and think about it.  Why on God’s gay earth did Taylor decide to Swiftgron her ass off in 2018.   When she’s supposedly moved on to the London Lover and happy? The simplest explanation is that Babe is about Dianna so Taylor made sure people knew that.  And hey that’s completely possible. 

However it’s Christmas and I’m feeling generous so buckle up for some crack and reaching.  (read: this is mostly a joke post so don’t come for my neck for playing around and making it. if you don’t like it don’t read✌️)

What if Taylor painting herself as the desperate other woman in this music video all about Dianna has a meaning further than it just worked out like that?  What if Dianna was cheating on Winston with Taylor in a late stage illicit Swiftgron affair 👀👀👀????  (no I don’t think IA is about dianna, she doesn’t take runs)

Taylor said herself that “the narrative is never truly over” about her and Dianna so right after she and Karlie broke up why wouldn’t we expect a Swiftgron fling:

Babe was released in late spring of 2018 so let’s try and pin down when this Swiftgron tomfoolery could have taken place...

We know Dianna was in London at the beginning of 2017 (with Carey Mulligan no less, a friend of Taylor’s!)

Thanks to @swiftiesleuth​‘s (who is probably going to make fun of me for this theory but THAT’S FINE W ME) realistic Kaylor Timeline we know Taylor was hiding out in London at this point in time as well:

3 January 2017 - Taylor diaries that she’s “essentially based in London” and that “we have been together and no one has found out for three months.” (This could be three months with Joe from September 28 OR three months from Tily’s Halloween party. Either way, not Karlie).

8 January 2017 - Taylor and Zayn film the I Don’t Wanna Live Forever MV in London.

So the question is, can we build a theory about Swiftgron having a late stage affair simply because they were in the same city at the same time?  Well if Kaylors can claim Kaylor got engaged solely because Taylor was not papped while Karlie went on vacation then I say YES!  Tis the damn season!!!

Let’s look at social media clues.  Dianna seemed to be in on Rep promo.  You want proof?  Well what else could she have meant when she posted a photo captioned “please don’t eat the daisies” a few months after the London affair. We know Karlie called Taylor daisy so perhaps social media criminal mastermind Dianna “queen of shade” Agron was trying to humiliate Karlie because Karlie smirked at her at that fashion show in 2015:

Emboldened by her own crimes she then flexed her insider knowledge of Rep promo by posting video of her singing on instagram with the caption “Zombie Love” a mere three days before Taylor appeared in the LWYMMD music video dressed as a zombie in the OOTW (a song about Dianna) dress.  Why is Taylor a zombie in specific outfit?  Because Swiftgron is back from the dead of course:

Not only that but in the music video she buries the Taylor in the met gala dress from 2014.  She attended that met gala with Karlie.  RIP KAYLOR LONG LIVE SWIFTGRON!??!?

Now positively DRUNK with power, Dianna seems to stalk Karlie to an event only to tauntingly call her goooeeoeoeooueuueugoussssssss to her face, the queen of manipulation and psychological warfare has struck again!!!  This happens in Feb 2018 a mere matter of weeks before babe is dropped as a single.

We of course know Dianna admits to her own commitment issues on instagram two days before Babe drops but what if she is referencing her commitment issues not with Taylor but with her husband Winston because she is cheating on him with Taylor at this point in time or did some time in 2017???

Taylor releases babe and then later the music video seeming to be screaming to the whole world that yes she is cucking Winston Marshall and she wants you, your mom, and your cat to know about it!

Dianna voices her support of this by posting this to her IG stories at the end of May:

We know Taylor’s symbol was a snake during the rep era and she couldn’t trust just about anyone but, Dianna was letting her know to trust in her!!!

I’ve always suspected DBATC is a Swiftgron song due to the lyrics “i look through the windows of This Love, even though we boarded them up” -that references the flood that happened in Clean that taylor says she and the London Lover (or Karlie) boarded up the windows of after the storm in CIWYW.  

I see you everywhere The only thing we share Is this small town

What if “i see you everywhere” is literal? because they’re sneaking around and actually seeing one another in a literal since?

My heart, my hips, my body, my love Trying to find a part of me that you didn't touch

Sounds like an affair to me!!!

When she says “the morning comes and you’re not my baby” she’s saying speaking present day because Dianna is still married to Winston.

and while Dianna seems to love rubbing Karlie’s face in it, like the evil villain we all know she is, Taylor likewise seems to like to rub Winston’s cuck status in his face in it since she adds a song he wrote about Dianna to her me! playlist in June of 2019:

look at the other songs she taunts him with “glad he’s gone”, “just friends”, “hey, ma”, “open my mouth”!! she’s sick!!!

Winston has had enough of this and he and Dianna split in July of 2019 though it doesn’t go public for a year.

To add insult to injury (and to personally attack tumblr kaylors all over the world) Taylor performs false god at SNL, a song she wrote about her and Dianna’s late stage affair with Dianna in attendance. 

So in summation, perhaps Taylor is referencing Dianna so much recently because they hooked up more recently than 2013 and that’s why Taylor paints herself as the other woman in the Babe mv and has become obsessed with adultery lately.  Because maybe Dianna was cheating on Winston with her 😌😌😌.

[peachyaone]

Lonely Heart pt.5

Pairings: Lierra x OC

(A/N : Hi again! I’m excited to announce that the song “You” in this chapter is written by me! :) So pls don’t steal it :( And I’m also less busy this month so part 6 might be out soon! So yeah, hope you enjoyed this chapter, See you in the next one!)

*Luke’s POV*

They arrived at Ashton’s. His palms are sweating, and his throat was getting dryer by the second. Sierra placed her hand on his shoulder, slightly calming his nerves. They stood in of his door. He hesitated on knocking, Sierra had tired of waiting and knocked. Nothing happened at first, Luke knocked this time. There were footsteps, and the door opened. “Look, its early in the morning, so what the fuc- Oh. You two. He groaned.  “ I-Is Iris here?” Sierra asked him.  “You didn’t check your phones?” He said, slightly irritated. The two took out their phones.

They checked their messages:

[10:00 pm, 09/10/2020] Iris <3 : Hey. Just wanted to tell you that I’m leaving for tour early. I cleared up everything with Ashley and my bandmates. I will be leaving at midnight tonight. You’re welcome to come and see me off, only if you want to. I’ll be with Ashley for the while leg of the tour, we might have separate shows, but we’ll wait for the management announcement.

[10:00 pm, 09/10/2020] Iris <3 : I just wanna say that I apologise for being so distant , I’ve been in a really bad headspace lately. I’m sorry. It’s my fault for making you mad, making Sierra upset and everything.

“Fuck.” he whispered. Ashton was staring at them, arms crossed. "Have you realized what you've done?" Ashton said. They didn't have the chance to speak. "You absolutely wrecked her, you know that? Both of you. I thought you're better than this. She came here, soaked to the skin. She could get sick, and you both know that she gets sick easily. She was trying to keep herself together. She on a verge on an attack, thank god Katniss was there to calm her down. I wanted to march up to your house and beat your ass . But Iris wouldn't let me, you know why? it's because she loves you, Lucas. And that's the only thing stopping me from beating your ass." He scolded. Luke was looking at the ground, ashamed.

"And Sierra, you know what the media could do. They'd do anything to tear people apart, fuck with their mental health, twisting lies into stories with without knowing the real truth. One article could turn people against each other. I really thought that maybe you would understand a little more about this." He said. Ashton was disappointed. He sighed. "Now that you have your answer, I have a lemon tree to save. Goodnight." He said, closing the door on them. The two walked back to their car.

What were they gonna do now?

*Iris's POV*

The live session was a blast. Once she felt sensation of the bass, the sound of the guitar, the kick of the drums, she never felt so alive. They were covering "I Don't Love You" by My Chemical Romance. She felt the problems slowly melt away when she started singing. She sang each verse with all she got. It was pure, raw emotion, the one that could make everyone tear up. It's like she was a different person. Long gone the Iris that was depressed. The Iris on stage now was, way more brighter and her eyes seems to shine with unshed tears. This side of Iris only comes out when she's performing. Usually, without the tears. The crowd cheered her on. She was smiling. The trio gave each other knowing glances, once the adrenaline from performing wears off, she would go back to the woman she was before.

Sad and empty.

They thanked the crowd and the host and went backstage. They were buzzing with adrenaline. "You guys, wanna grab some food before we go back to the hotel?" Maia said. Julia and Helena nodded. "Iris?" Helena said. Iris's head snapped up. "You okay there? Your lookin' a little bit pale, shortcake." Helena said. Iris rubbed her face. "I'm alright, Just need fresh air, that's all. Maybe something to eat." She said. The trio was looking at her worriedly. "Guys. I promise, I'm okay, don't worry." she shyly smiled, nervous from the looks her bandmates were giving her. "Macca's?" Julia said. "Sure." Maia said.

*timeskip*

"That's all your going eat?" Julia said. Iris was eating her veggie dippers. "Yeah. I'm not that hungry." she mumbled. "Bullshit. You haven't eaten anything since last night." Julia said. "Take some my fries." Maia said. "Maia, I can't take it. It's your food." she declined. "Iris, we won't let you fuckin' starve. We have a long night of performing coming up. And you need the energy." Maia said. Iris stared at the ground. Helena rubbed her back, "Please, Iris. We all know you have haven't been doing well." Maia said. "Fine."

"Good girl." Julia said. "Wow, Julia. I didn't know you were into that kinda of stuff~" Iris teased. Helena choked on her drink. Julia looked at Helena, confused. Maia shoved Julia's shoulder. The look of realization dawned on her face. "Oh. Iris, you kinky bitch." She said, smirking. "Well, someone's gotta be the Yuri in this club, and you guys don't have to balls to be him. " she teased again.

They heard cameras clicking.

"Paps." they said in unison.  “Shit.” Helena mumbled.  “We have to get out of here, quickly.” Julia said. The group got out and tried to get to Maia’s car. Iris was soon cornered by the paps.

“Iris, you know they can do better!”

“Is it difficult having TWO partners? Having to be jealous all the time and fighting for attention – what does that feel like?”

She kept quiet.

“What do you think to the rumours that you cheated on them? There’s evidence of you spending the night with a mysterious female.”

“You’re really nothing special though are you? They won’t stick around for long, whore.”

“We’ve seen the scars on your arms.”

“Don’t you think that’s a bad image for your band?”

“You should look into conversion therapy, disgusting whore.”

“What about your partners? Should they have to deal with that on top of everything they should be doing?”

“You’re nothing but a slut. A cheating, useless piece of shit.”

“You’ll be better off dead.”

“'Lena…” She mumbled, searching for any of her bandmates over the crowd, she felt her vision go hazy for a bit as she desprately tried to push through the paps. She was so close from losing her sanity. The paps was closing in, blocking her in. Insults was thrown her way. She was going to break.

Then she felt their arms. Helena's strong hand gripping hers and pulling her into their arms, cradling her against her chest and Julia pushing through the crowd telling the paparazzi to fuck off along the way.“Get away from her!” She pushed the paps away from the duo while Helena helped Iris up. “We just want answers!” One of the paps shouted back at them. “Well, you’re not gonna get any so take your camera, shove it up your fucking asshole, and fuck off!”

They got her into the car. Maia drove away from the scene as fast as she could. Iris's hands was shaking. “Iris?” Julia ask, her hand moving to cup her face. “Iris, come on.” Julia pleaded, she was desperately trying to help her calm her down, holding her hands and trying to help her breathe. “They said such horrible things.” Iris mumbled. “They’re just trying to get a response.” Helena said.

"Can we call, Ash?" she meekly asked. "Of course, shortcake." Helena said. Julia called him.

"Hey, Julia. Is everything alright?"

"Um... about that."

"What's wrong?"

"Well, we had a run in with paps eariler and they cornered Iris."

"What?! Is she okay? Did the paps do anything?"

"Well, they verbally harassed her. We might ask management to file a lawsuit. As for Iris? She's the reason why I called, wait a minute-

"'Lena take the phone."

Helena took the phone from Julia.

"Hey, Lemon boy"

"Hey, Helena. Is Iris with you?"

"Yup. Let me hand the phone to her."

"Thanks"

She passed the phone to Iris.

"Hey, Ash..."

"Hey, Sunshine. Are you okay? Did they do anything to you?"

"They were closing in on me, taking photos of me and said bad things."

"What kind of bad things did they say, sunshine? "

"That I’m not good enough, they keep insisting that I cheated. They said that I look into converstion therapy-"

She was startled by Helena's hand on her shoulder. "Let it out." She mouthed to her.

"They joked about my scars, they said I would be better off dead." she choked out.

"They what?! Oh, Iris, I'm so sorry."

She sobbed.

" Iris, listen."

"What they said.... it's all lies. You hear me? They are lies. You are not what they paint you to be, they don't know who you really are. You are amazing. You are the most amazing person I know, the boys loves you.... even Luke. He came by with Sierra the night after you left. I didn't do anything, like I promise. But you bet I gave him an earful. But all that aside, Iris, you deserve to be here, and you are good enough. You make people happy. Your fans? They all love you, you make them smile, you make them feels safe. This will pass, things will get easier. I promise you."

"What if I fail to do so, Ash? What if I disappoint everyone?"

"You won't. Trust me, you are not a failure. You will get better. You will heal. You will be stronger than ever. You will make it through this."

"Are they alright?"

"You're seriously asking that? You're not okay and you're asking if they're alright?"

"Please Ash... I want to know."

They arrived at the hotel.

"Yes, they are. You don't have to worry. All you have to worry now is me giving you a lecture. Look outside."

"What?"

"Just look outside."

She looked outside to see Ashton, giving her one of his signature smiles. Beside him.....Luke and Sierra.

"Ashton?"

"Hey, sunshine."

She paled. She turned at the bandmates and chuckled shakily.

"Am I finally going crazy? Is they really here?"

She looked at Luke and Sierra, laughing disbelievingly. Shaking her head, she walked up to them. She prodded Luke at his chest angrily, as she laughed. "You had the fucking nerve to show up here." She was chuckling yet crying in the same time. "Where were you, Lucas. Where the fuck were you when I needed you?!" she said. She stumbled back, shaking her head. Iris's knees gave out. Maia reached out to steady her. "Can we get out of here, please?" She whispered to her. Maia looked at Helena and Julia. "Let's get her inside." She said, quietly. They nodded. They moved to get her inside. Sierra moved to stop them. "Let's talk this through, please." She said to Iris. Helena glowered at her. She stood in front Iris protectively.

"After what you've done, you think you could just come up here and expect her to talk? After the pain you put her through? No, ma'am. You lost that right." Helena said. "Hey, don't talk to her like that." Luke defended her. Julia stepped forward. "Don't think we forgot about YOU, Hemmings." She said. "You don't get to come up here, all high and mighty and expect that we let you go that easily." Helena said. “You two are fucking dumb if you really believe that's a way to treat our bandmate.” Maia said.

“If anyone should be arguing, it should be me.” Iris said, as she straightened up and six pairs of eyes snapped to her. "Thank you for standing up for me, guys." she said to her bandmates. They shrugged and smiled. "Pop off, bestfren." Maia playfully winked at her. Iris smiled and turned to face the duo. The look that they gave her made her newfound anger surge.

“You both don’t get to look at me like that.” She snapped, causing them to reel back in suprise. They never seen her this mad, never at them. "If you gave me the chance to talk back then, we wouldn't have this bullshit." she said. Their faces fell in guilt. The Iris she was before this would've cave in and forgive them but she was seething with anger now to care.

"If you'd noticed the sleepless nights I had, the bag under my eyes. If you'd have cared to even try and listen to what I had to say, maybe I wouldn't be fuckin' pissed at you right now!" Iris snapped and Luke flinched back.

If they'd only looked into her eyes, they would see the bottled up emotions that was threatening to explode. It felt wrong to see Iris so angry. She was always been the one to break up arguements, not start them. "Did you know how much suffering you caused me? Do you know how much pain I've been through? I never asked for this, you know? I never asked for us to fight. I hate fighting, you know that?" She said. She looked at them, they were looking down to the ground.

"Look at me." she pleaded. Her anger disappated. Their heads immediately snapped up."I d-don't think I contribute to this relationship anymore." her broken voice reached their ears.

"Iris!" They called out, but she's gone. Luke frantically searched for her. "Luke, we still have one more chance." Sierra said. "Sierra, there's no more chance. We lost her." He said. "And it's all my fault." he whimpered. "Luke, honey. We have her concert tickets, thanks to Ashley. Let's not waste this chance alright?" She said.

*timeskip*

Two hours till the concert. The stage staff were moving around, making sure that everything goes well. After the encounter, Iris fell in the hotel bed and proceeded take a long nap. And woke up just in time for rehearsal.

Seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours. Iris drank some vodka that was prepared by the staff, it did so little to calm her nerves. She was pacing around. “Iris?” Her makeup stylist called out. Her head shot up, “Yes, David?” She said. “It’s time for your makeup, and then your outfit." He reminded. She smiled softly at him, "Alright, I'm coming."

She got dressed and sat on the chair."So what would we like on this wonderful night?" He said prepairing the brushes. "I was thinking of skeleton kinda look. Some black, a little red." She said. "That sounds good. Would you like some to put glitter on the black part?" he asked. "Sure" she nodded.

(A/N: Here’s the outfit. Credit to @boy..brainr0t for the makeup look)

They made a small talk about the weather and the upcoming shows. Half an hour later, David finished. "Wow, you did a great job! I love it so much, thanks David! " Iris said, her mood brightened. "No probs, Iris." He said with a smile. She side hugged him and left the room.

"Looking good, shortcake! That choker looks deadly, in a good way." Helena hyped her up. Iris flushed. "Enough about me, look at your mohawk! The spikes are as deadly as my choker! " She said, smiling. "Can I.... touch them? " Iris said. It was like a child asking for candy. "Knock yourself out, shortcake. " She shrugged. Iris's eyes shined with excitement and she poked it. "It's rock hard, did you use hairspray?" she asked, "I did. Used a little bit of hair pomade. Gotta make sure it won't fall while performing." Helena explained. "That's cool." Iris giggled.

 "Hey, cuties!" Julia hollered from arcoss the room. "Its almost time, get your sexy asses over here!" Maia said alongside Julia. "Alright, alright, we're coming!" Iris shouted back. "You look like Gerard Way, Iris." Julia said. "Awh, Julia that's nicest thing you ever said to me" she joked. Julia playfully punched her in the shoulder. "Heeeey" She pouted. "Hey guys!" Ashley jogged over to them. "Hey, Ashley" They said. "You ready to go up there?" She asked. "Yeah, it's been a while since we last went on stage, still kinda nervous, but excited." Iris said. "Excuse me, sorry to interrupt, but you guys are up in 10" the stage manager informed them. "Alright, thank you for informing us" Julia thanked the staff. "You welcome." the staff said, then walked away. 

"Go get ready, I can't wait to see you guys out there." Ashley said, before leaving to get ready herself. "You ready?" Maia asked. " As ready as I'll ever be" Iris said. Her eyes shining with excitement. The group fistbumped each other and went on stage.

"GOOD EVENING, LONDON!" Iris screamed into the mic. The crowd screamed. "ARE YOU READY?" The crowd cheered. "WE CAN'T HEAR YOU" The crowd screamed.The intro for their song "You" started playing.

You, 

The thought of you makes me sick

Heaven and Hell doesn’t scare me anymore

Not when your with me

Why you gotta be so greedy?

I’m giving all I have to you,

But you keep asking for more,I’m dying, can’t you see? (Look at me)

My blood stains the floor

And I know you love seeing me like this

When it comes to you, (you temptress)

You act so innocent, like an angel in disguise

Always painting yourself as holy

But your tainted halo says otherwise, my dear

Iris sang, stomping her feet to the rhythm. She was smiling, looking out to the crowd. And then she saw familiar head of curls. It was Luke. Her eyes widened, trying to maintain her composure as she sang. She looked at Julia, who noticed them too.

Look at what you’ve become

My still beating heart you hold,

Your knife against my throat.

I’m on the floor, barely breathing (Gasping for air)

My mind tormented by your lies

There’s no escape from you (Never)

There’s no saving for me

“Oh, my darling sweetheart” you said,

With your hands around my neck 

“Let me own you” you whispered

Your cold breath makes me shiver

Death knocks on the door (It’s time)

She puts on a facade, performing all the energy she had. Maia and Helena soon caught up with the situation immediately. They were soon picking up on the energy that Iris is giving out. She was nervous. Very nervous.  Her heterochromia eyes instantly found blue ones.  She wanted to run off stage but her pride wouldn’t let her. What would the fans think of her if she did? She didn't want to be coward.

*Lierra's POV*

They were standing somewhat near to the stage, same as the people that are there, they were all waiting for the show to start. Soon, Iris came on stage along with her band mates. The crowd screamed and cheered.

"GOOD EVENING, LONDON!" she said. She sounded so different from 4 hours ago. She looked beautiful as always, her facial features were enhanced by her stage makeup. "ARE YOU READY?" They cheered. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" They cheered even louder.

Iris smirked. "Helena, darling. If you please." she said. They both knew it was her persona on stage to be a little flirty , but Sierra couldn't stop but feel a little bit of jealousy. Helena was smirking on the screen. " ONE, TWO, THREE-" Helena said, before she started playing the drums. The intro sounds familiar to them. Then Iris started singing.

In their eyes, she was the most ethereal being they ever seen. She was confident when she sing, it was beautiful.

Midway through the song, their eyes met. Luke could see her eyes widening. She turned to Julia. Julia gave her a brief nod. She turned to the front, with a smile on her face. He gave Sierra a look.She shared the same look, they clearly knew that she was faking her expression. And the thought of that made them feel even more guilty.

*Back to Iris*

Look at what I’ve become

My still heart you hold,

Your knife still against my throat.

I’m on the floor, still and silent

My mind corrupted by your lies

There’s no escape from you

There’s no redemption for me.

As she sang the last verse, the crowd cheered and clapped. She was a little sweaty and she was a little out of breath.  She kept on smiling. Her bandmates joined her at the front. Ashley comes on stage next. “Good Evening, London!” Ashley said. The crowd screamed. “ I would like to thank my good friends, The Temptress, for their AMAZING performance tonight!” She exclaimed. The crowd screamed again. "You welcome, Halsey." she said. 

In the corner of her she saw a sign. The sign said "It's Nia!". Her eyes shined. "Well won't you look at that, Hi Nia." She waved at the girl direction. A group of girls were screaming as she said that. "Thank you again for the wonderful gift you gave me yesterday, darling. I really appreciate it." She said. The group screamed again. She was smiling. A real smile. The camera was on her and the crowd screamed again. She and her bandmates said their goodbyes to the crowd and Halsey and went off backstage. 

She took off her facade and became unsually quiet. She plopped on the couch and drank the vodka she poured for herself. Her friends didn't know if they should comfort her or give her space. "Hey, shortcake." Helena said softly. Iris just leaned against her, her head on her shoulder. "You okay, bub?" Helena said. Iris just buried her face further into her neck.

 "I don't know, 'Lena."

[taylizmasterpost]

TayLiz Returns (August 2011 - January 2012)

Now, Taylor’s music suggests her and Liz got back together and broke up a bunch of times. It’s kind of hard to pinpoint that exactly, since they’re on tour together constantly and can’t really have a break from each other that would be discernable by an outside source such as myself. However, this is the time for it! Time for mess! Time for fun!

9 August 2011 - Speak Now in Chicago. Taylor covers Sugar, We’re Going Down by Fall Out Boy:

The lyrics that stand out here to me are:

Is this more than you bargained for, yet? Oh don’t mind me, I’m watching you two from the closet Wishing to be the friction in your jeans Isn’t it messed up how I’m just dying to be him? I’m just a notch in your bedpost But you’re just a line in a song

Of course, once again. Taylor could just like the song. But I think it’s interesting.

10 August 2011 - Speak Now in Chicago night 2. Taylor covers I Want You to Want Me:

This one is REALLY INTERESTING in the wake of Liz’s breakup. Some choice lyrics:

I want you to want me I need you to need me I’d love you to love me I’m begging you to beg me

Oh, didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying? Feeling all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dying

So does Taylor want her back? Or does she just like the song? Could go either way.

16 August 2011 - Taylor goes on a Girls Trip to Charleston with Liz, Caitlin, and a few other friends. Now, in a birthday post years down the line, Liz would reveal that Taylor specifically planned this trip because Liz was having a good time (We’ll get there in Late-Stage TayLiz). This feels like healing breakup blues to me.

While there, Liz tweets about possibly sharing a bed with Taylor again:

Taylor takes some great black and white photos of everyone that will show up in a later photo blog and Liz tweets about how much she loves retro photographer Taylor:

18 August 2011 - End of Charleston trip. 

Liz tweets about Taylor healing her heartbreak blues:

That night is Speak Now in Alberta. Arm lyrics: “Find the Grace in the things you can’t change, and help somebody if you can.” Taylor covers Complicated by Carolyn Dawn Johnson:

Choice lyrics, you know the drill:

I’m so scared that the way I feel is written all over my face We used to laugh, we used to hug, the way that old friends do But now a smile and a touch of your hand makes me come unglued

I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay

Another friend tells me that my name is always on your lips They say I’m more than just a friend, they say I must be blind Well, I’ll admit I’ve seen you watch me from the corner of your eye

What an utterly appropriate post-Charleston trip song.

19 August 2011 - Speak Now in Alberta. Arm lyrics: “Hey brother, we’re all learning to love again.” – Mat Kearny’s Learning To Love Again.

22 August 2011 - Taylor posts “The Charleston Photo blog” on MySpace, featuring pictures from the Charleston trip:

So, clearly, they had a good time.

23 August 2011 - Liz quote tweets Taylor about the Charleston photo blog:

27 August 2011 - Speak Now in LA. Taylor covers Bette Davis Eyes:

Now, not only is this an EXTREMELY GAY COVER considering it’s about how beautiful a woman is, but Bette/Betty is a popular nickname for Elizabeth. And just look at the lyrics:

And she’ll tease you And unease you All the better, just to please you She’s precocious And she knows just What it takes to make a pro blush

IS THIS NOT EXACTLY WHAT’S BEEN HAPPENING EVERY NIGHT DURING BETTER THAN REVENGE? TEASING? UNEASING? MAKING A PRO BLUSH??? Hmm, Taylor, what an interesting choice of a cover in the wake of the Charleston Trip...

It’s worth noting that Liz also grew up in the LA area, making this even more special if it is about Liz.

5 September 2011 - Taylor and Dianna Agron meet for the first time at the Fairfax Flea Market after being introduced by mutual friend, Ashley, who was working for Dianna’s hairstylist at the time. Dianna had lowkey outed herself that summer with #Shirtgate and considering all the mess going on with Liz, it’s possible Ashley (among Taylor’s other friends) were looking to introduce her to someone else.

8 September 2011 - Taylor diaries about writing Red the previous day and then recording it:

In a later interview, Taylor described Red like this:

“So this is a song that I wrote about the kind of relationship that is both the best thing and the worst thing at the same time and that’s why you can’t forget about it. It’s called Red.”

So, I have a two big theories about Taylor writing and recording Red at this point in the timeline:

1) TayLiz have IMMEDIATELY broken up again after the Charleston trip, and that’s why a mutual friend decided to introduce Taylor to Dianna.

2) Taylor and Liz are about to get back together again, and Taylor writes Red as a way of looking back on what she had with Liz back in 2009 before diving into a relationship with her again.

I’m leaning towards 2, but 1 could be true too. Who knows?

13 September 2011 - Rodarte show at NY Fashion Week. Taylor is interviewed by Vogue while there. She says there’s “just been this earth-shattering, not recent, but absolute crash and burn heartbreak” and that that’s what the next album is about. This really makes me think TayLiz breaks up IMMEDIATELY again after Charleston.

Taylor also gives these four things she’s learned about love and life recently:

Number two and four read like Jake shade to me.

16 September 2011 - Speak Now in Nashville. Taylor brings out Hayley as a special guest, they sing “That’s What You Get.” Hayley would later say she was surprised Taylor didn’t ask for Misery Business as That’s What You Get wasn’t one of their more popular songs at the time. (Keep in mind this is the song TayLiz jammed to years ago at the Paramore concert):

This song makes me think there’s a lot of back and forth happening between TayLiz right now if we look at it lyrically. However, things could be great in TayLiz land and Taylor just chose to perform this song because she knew Liz liked it.

19 September 2011 - Liz performs Jenny Turn Around with Tyler Hilton after Speak Now in Nashville. Tyler tells a story about how he went to the TS concert just before and Taylor had said that her and Liz both really love this song.

29 September 2011 - Liz tweets about crying to the song “The Heart Won’t Lie” by Vince Gill.

And thus, the back and forth continues.

16 October 2011 - Taylor recommends Liz’s YouTube channel and she gets an influx of subscribers:

30 October 2011 - Taylor diaries about being sick on tour, getting Meredith, and having written two songs in the last few days:

This usually signifies there’s a lot going on for her emotionally, although it’s hard to tell what since we don’t know which songs these are. (My best guess might be Treacherous??)

31 October 2011 - Liz tweets about getting married. 

Taylor posts a photo of her, Liz, and Caitlin on Instagram:

8 November 2011 - TayLiz have a “soul feeding time” together:

9 November 2011 -  Taylor posts a wedding dress train picture to IG with the caption “Dress train…”

12 November 2011 - TayLiz flirt more onstage during BTR:

18 November 2011 - Speak Now in Columbia South Carolina. Arm Lyrics: “Where would we be today, if I never drove that car away?” These are from the song “Don’t Think About It” by Darius Rucker. The lines before this go:

When we make choices we got to live with them Heard you found a real good man and you married him I wonder if sometimes I cross your mind Where would we be today If I never drove that car away?

To me, this plus the dress train pictures reads as Taylor’s reaction to Emily getting married the following day.

19 November 2011 - Emily gets married.  TayLiz are papped leaving a restaurant in London:

27 November 2011 - CMT Awards in Nashville. Taylor arrives with Liz and others.

1 December 2011 - Taylor shoots her vogue cover where she cuts her bangs at the Bowery Hotel. Her band (including Liz) comes to support her and her and Liz take a photo with their matching hair:

13 December 2011 - Taylor’s birthday. She’s recording something in the studio and posts a photo to tease the Red album (presumably she’s already titled it at this point).

Here are some pictures from the party:

22 December 2011 - Safe and Sound is released. TayLiz both tweet about it:

Taylor also posts about it on IG:

IN CONCLUSION: After Taylor pursuing her all summer, and Liz’s breakup with Jason, TayLiz took off again. They (maybe) shared a bed during Charleston, and Taylor certainly seems to have covered Bette Davis Eyes with her in mind. Their relationship is a little less obvious than they were in 2009, but that makes sense, considering the way Taylor has skyrocketed in popularity since then. Of course, they still are going to have some problems...

TayLiz Breaks Down (January 2012 - March 2012)

[spideymybucky]

Harries keep saying that holding hands doesn't mean they're dating but.for some reason (be it PR or not) I am 100% sure they are dating. Like hugging her before leaving the set, her defending him on social media and constantly commenting and mentioning him, harry following her back to her trailer, her doing a 'happy dance' when he was casted, potentially living together while filming in Palm Springs and in LA currently, taking her to a very exclusive and private wedding ( i don't think he took her as a friend like some claim, corona still very much exists and it's dangerous) , sharing each others clothes like he did with camille , hanging out with his rich friends, pictures of them arriving at his house and sitting at the balcony and of course the lap sitting.

My take is that they had/have hots for each other and started messing around which evolved into dating and then they decided they could get something out of it (pr) but it backfired because the hadn't expected people to be hostile and not supportive

Either way it's a big mess they should have kept secret

Ok. If you believe this, go ahead. Here is my input on the situation. 

1. Remember when they announced it was gonna be Florance + Harry? How the Harries acted?? They all thought they were gonna end up dating, but then came the other side of the fandom saying no. Why not? Cause she’s been in a long term relationship, and Zach Graff talks about her in his podcast, and she in it too. So... the rumors died down, everyone thought, oh, they are just co-stars and starting to become friends. They were seen hanging out and just getting to know each other. People accepted that, that they were only friends and nothing else. That is the reason why Florance Pugh, who might have been the first girl they thought for the stunt, didn’t become part of this shit. 

2.  The vote shirt. If y’all didn’t know, the Vote shirt, which there are more models of it, it was a way to invite people to vote. Harry Styles wasn’t the only one to get one; so were other artists and celebs. Why? Because they wanted to make people vote, they wanted to invite young adults and newly turned 18s to vote for Biden and kick trump out. You think those posts were coincidental? That they came out of nowhere? No. They were taken with their knowledge, well Harrys, and that's why he wore that shirt. It's super coincidental that no fans saw him with that shirt, but we got those pics right before election day. Super coincidental. So... why was Olivia wearing that shirt? Probably because they gave the whole cast the same shirt as a PR package. So, if they all have the same shirt... and they want to start rumors about H+O, they photograph Harry, and then Olivia photographs herself with the same shirt. But funny how no one connected the dots there, right? That's because it seemed far-fetch of them being together. 

3. The constant media of Harry Styles from her was to plant us the initiative that she has an interest in him and pull people to the movie. If you have an artist with millions and millions of following, he’ll always make a big headline with entertainment media. This will bring free mtking for the movie and people will remember it. Also, she needs the notoriety for the film; you see, she was acclaimed for booksmart and now requires that same energy with this movie. She needs it to be successful. 

4. the trailer and set photos. I find it interesting how they are to high-quality. Pap photos that aren’t staged tend to be so blurry, and for these ones to be so well made and just not bad quality at all, it's obviously staged. Also, she is the director of the movie, and this is H’s first significant role in acting. I would find it weird if H didn’t talk to her, asked for pointers, guidance, etc. Florance and all the others have years in the film industry, and he doesn't. The vid where they are hugging, that one is backgrid too. It looks really staged and him just saying goodbye. It's weird though, how come we only get paps from Backgrid and Digzy, the pap photographer? Two of the main staged paparazzi we have out there. They wanted us to believe that they were together, start speculating, but we never did. They had to shove it in our faces for us to realize. Actually, after this, in December, an article came out where he said he wasn’t in a relationship and didn’t want one. It's so funny how this situation contradicts everything he has said.

5.The wedding was staged too. Some people say it was in Jan, but I found an article that said he was married to Glenne, which was outed on November 25th. Many people have messaged me that they’ve called the Ranch, and it hasn’t been open since November, and then others have said it was in a private estate, which still doesn't make sense cause he let paparazzi in, no one can go in without authorization. So, him holding hand with Olivia, walking slowly, and then running out and leaving her (which those pics were outed and were paparazzi taking them outside the venue) doesn’t make sense. None of the wedding pics or statements make sense. All of them state something different. One article says it's at the ranch, the other private estate, then him saying, ah my girlfriend, while officiating and those people being the sources? None of that makes sense. Y’all really believe that the 16 people there would out Harry?? If he was in a real relationship, nope, they wouldn't. 

https://www.thefocus.news/music/who-is-jeff-azoff/ 6. Them living together doesn't make sense either, as he has said that he was living with friends and then at a friend's house. Why would I bring my s/o around when it's not my house? None of the storylines, the narrative, anything of it makes sense. The photos of them going out are also weird, they are near a restaurant, but restaurants are shut off cause of Covid, from what I’ve heard. Again, the photos of them entering a house, a girl looked into it and found the address. It's a house a lot of people use to stage pap pics.  So... this is my long as answer... second of all, not all Harries believe it's a PR stunt. Most harries are actually shipping them and saying they are dating, trying to prove it. I don’t think that, and if he is genuinely dating her, then he is an asshole, which goes against everything he’s said and done. 

[makeupbychio]

goodnight n go // C.H

pairing : Calum Hood x Reader.

summary : you are a famous pop singer and one normal night in your life Calum literally came to change everything.

words : 8.5k

warnings : fluff, angst and swearing.

a/n : hi babies, so I tried to do this gender neutral because I’m trying to write things for everyone without specifying gender, sexuality, physical appearance, etc. Feedback is more than welcome. Credits to the owner of the photo, and the Instagram posts.

italics means song lyrics.

bold means posts on social media.

inspired by : that one second laugh Ariana Grande does in ‘everytime’ studio version and ‘goodnight n go’ live version. And these videos (links down below in the blurb)

You are a pop star, already part of the pop culture, on tons of playlists made by platforms. So your life is always on the public eye even when you don’t post in your social media the paparazzis and social accounts always doing that for you. It wasn’t like that at the beginning, the world barely knew your name, your shows were for 50 in the room, then 100, then 1000, now a whole arena and with two dates in some cities. You have learned how to deal with the dizzy things of being famous thanks to your fans, family, friends and your own power so at the end of the day you would not change leaving your heart on stage singing and dancing every night at all even when you know that it is crazy, yeah, it is crazy there outside. How people that you don’t know tells you how you changed their lives with your music, how you saved them, tattoos in their bodies inspired by your lyrics and style.

It is been crazier lately. You write your songs inspired by your own experiences or your loved ones experiences. You just finished a tour and after a good break for a whole season you are back writing and planning a new album. You were writing a song based on a reckless love but the song couldn’t make it to the previous album because you never finish it and you didn’t want it as an interlude. But you restart it because life slapped you in the face because 3 months ago you broke up with your partner. You are laying on bed looking at some pictures of you two together walking on the streets taken by paps. The light of the screen lighting your face. And god, how you didn’t realize tons of things?, in every picture you are looking at your ex like a fool completely in love but people could not say the same coming from the other person. You were in love, your ex really loved you at first but the last months of the relationship barely paid attention to you. That is when you remembered one of your fights.

“I waited for you for almost two hours! You could at least answered my messages or you could call me! So I would leave the restaurant and don’t waste my time on you” you said loudly pointing at its face when you came back home and acting like nothing happened. You were furious.

“I know, sorry I’m tired I spend the whole day with my friend I didn’t see him in a while” your ex sighed laying on your bed. “Don’t wanna argue”.

“I don’t care about your friend! You could tell him to hang out another day. It was a special day for us you asshole” you said giving an angry look and leaving the room.

It was supposed to be a special day that day. You were back from your South America leg of the tour and you received the notice of awards nominations so you decided to celebrate by having dinner and then go to the movies together. But your ex didn’t show up, and it wasn’t the first time. You just asked for simple things like going to the beach or just receive love. So even you were angry, you came back to their arms every time.

You thought that then a good fuck or a pretty face would fixed everything, but no. Your naive head at that moment thought that things were going to change, or that your lover was the love of your life.

Now you are looking at the last picture of you two that was seen together walking out a store and even bugs can notice how disillusioned your expression and body language are in that photo. You are hanging by their arms but looking at the floor with your head down. The other person also was trying to hide it with a cap and focused on the road.

‘Oh God’ you sigh at the picture knowing how ridiculous you looked. You lock your phone and throw it to your side of the huge bed now empty the other side. You are sitting with your legs crossed in your bed looking outside your window. It is late in the night so the city lights are your view and it reminds you that night when you called your best friend to tell her about you were thinking to end your relationship. She is always been supportive with you and every time you were going to make your decision you postpone it till finally it happened. You remembered that you cried a lot that night you saw them leaving your apartment and hours later you were still crying listening to sad music with your best friend looking at the roof. 

Now you decide to restart the song you left half done. Your dog joined you in bed, you went for a cup of hot chocolate and you start writing it.

+

The next day early in the morning you are in your way to the studio once you are ready with your makeup trying to hide your tiredness that you wrote till 3 am and put your studio outfit which consists on a big hoodie so big that the sleeves are always covering your hands but comfiness is first.

Your band and crew arrived and you have your coffee. Even when it is a sad song coming from your experience you want to put energy in this one like one of those nights you fought, how your blood was running in your veins and how deeply you knew that your relation was pointless but you were going to fall every time. The energy being aware of that but at the same time an energy by saying I’m done, I get over you but I know that I was a fool for you but not anymore. 

You explain that to everyone when all of you are thinking about the melody and beats. Most of the people in the room insist and show you a sad melody and you are starting to get frustrated because they are not listening to you and your idea you are looking for. 

You decided to move on on another two songs that you have complete. During breaks to eat something, drink water, go to the next studio and say hi to people that you know and fooling around with your own crew now it is dark outside and you are thinking to call it a wrap for today but the urge to at least figure it out the musicality of the song you wrote last night it is bigger.

But all of you are tired and ran out of ideas and your manager enters the soundproof box to tell you that the room is reserved for another artist from midnight till dawn. So you have 3 hours left to record this song or try again another day.

When you are talking to your favorite producer, who also is your friend, a tall man enters the room with headphones and the music too loud for not noticing the room full of people. When he saw the big group of people he freezes and apologies already leaving when you stop him recognizing him.

“Calum?” you said getting up from your seat in front of all the buttons of the huge synthesizer.

“Y/N?” he asks checking if this is real.

You nod at him and hug him because it is been a while, almost 2 years without seeing him. He is so happy to see you, the last time you were together was in an awards after party and you know him since 4 years ago when you met him and his band on an awards show that you presented his band and their performance and you saw it from the corners of the stage and waited to congratulated them because you are respectful with others musicians work, they asked for a picture and after that you have been friends but your busy life didn’t let you hang out with them but always exchanging likes, comments or messages on the dms on social media. 

“Omg how are you?” he asks you while he hugs you with his strong arms the height difference is notorious so he lays his right cheek on top of your head. He knows about your love situation, but to be honest he was not sad about that. Not at all. But he is not going to take advantage of that.

“Fine and you? Omg I miss you so much, what are you doing here alone?” you say to him confused not seeing all the 5sos boys.

“We are recording our new album and the guys should be here” he says checking the hour on his watch and then quickly his phone if there is a message.

“Finally new 5sos music!” you say and laugh.

“Yeah, we don’t have the ability like you to drop music every year.” he teases you.

“Hey!” you punch him softly on his ribs. “First things first, you can do that too if you want to drop music and second, actually right now I’m struggling with a song” you explain to him all of your situation when his phone rings. Ashton is on the other side of the line.

“Cal, we said at midnight!” Ashton said.

“Oh crap, I don’t know why I understood it was at 9 pm...K’...Bye, see ya’” Calum answers to his friend before hanging out the call.

He explains to you the situation even when you listened to what Ashton said. Calum tells you that it was nice to see you but he should be back at midnight but you stop him letting him know if he wants he can stay.

“Are you sure?” he asks knowing that maybe that could bother your crew.

“Of course Cal!” you say. And even when his house it is like 20 minutes away by driving he could come back when it is his band’s turn to use the studio but to be honest again he would really love to hang out a while with you. He always finds you attractive and your voice is one of the most angelical for him.

After he greeted the rest of the group he sits close to you listening your conversation with your producer.

“What if you add little adlibs and drums?” Calum suggests but he regrets if the producer would get angry. “Sorry man, I know it is your work and I am just a guest and-” 

“It is okay! Actually that is a good idea dude” your producer say asking Calum to show him what he said.

Calum and you enters the box and he sits to play the drums.

“Ashton is teaching me a little bit now that we are roommates” he jokes about it while taking the drumsticks.

“I saw that joke you did to Ashton! It was hilarious and his response” you point at him.

So you and Calum organized that he would play something in the drums first and then you start singing or reading the lyrics to catch the rhythm. He shows you a freestyle moment with the drums since he’s been doing that in his house to practice. The producer in the other side of the glass tells you from the speaker that there is a beat that maybe could fit. So once back again listening to beats ideas ordering to make that beat faster or slower, louder or pronounced then your band is working with the guitar, bass, keyboard and your drummer continues what Calum started and last but not least you are thinking where to sing it with high notes that it is your biggest characteristic.

All the people in the room are tired, your manager and part of your crew left early because they have meetings for some upcoming festivals to schedule. You let your band know that is the last effort of this week then you’ll be back again the next one rehearsing for an awards performance.

Calum now is in the other side of the glass next to the producer watching and listening all of this process of making this record. He is having fun and he realizes he could hear to your voice all night. It takes a lot of takes, to the final result of a song and Calum knows that perfectly.

You want to achieve the highest note of the song in the last chorus of the song in the last line. You should have record that first because it is getting hard for you to reach with a tired vocal cords after doing the rest of the song and the ad libs. You sigh frustrated at another failure of that last chorus.

“Y/N, should we call it a wrap for today?” your producer asks you softly. To be honest, you don’t want it after all of the work behind to finally get this song built.

“Excuse me” Calum says confident to the producer to take control of the speaker. “Y/N, listen to me, this is the last effort I know that ya’ can do this… You got this” he says looking at you directly in the eye. You nod and take a deep breath to try again and ‘he was right’ you thought to yourself when you freaking nailed it not just one high note, you reached it also the lines of the outro of the song.

Once you open your eyes when you keep singing with not that much power the last line. You laugh hiding your smile with the sleeve of your hoodie because the first thing you see is Calum stunned with his arms crossed on his chest and one hand full of rings lifted to cover his mouth. You start clapping to your band and say through your microphone ‘thank you’ to the rest of the people.

“Girl, you fuckin’ blew my mind” he says so excited mimicking what he said once you left the recording side of the room.

Minutes later everyone is saying goodbye to you and once again you thanked everyone for their job and energy as always and telling your producer to call you to edit the song other day. 

Now you are alone with Calum while you start packing your things. “Magic” you say looking at the clock with 15 minutes in your favor.

You use that time catching up on general things, like music, family, next awards, and a little bit of gossiping and of course asking about the rest of the boys.

“So happy for you guys, I can see that you are happy with this new era” you say after listening to Calum talking so passionate about what he and his band are doing. “I want to wait for the guys because I miss them. Do you think Michael is still in love with me?” you joke about it in a friendly way since Michael told you you were his crush, so he always reacts so excited and weird with you.

“No, he can’t react like he used to”. Calum laughs and you understood because you congratulated Michael on his engagement.

Minutes later, the boys and the rest of the crew arrived making noise with a lot of energy as always ready for a recording night but at the end they are always laying on the floor waiting for the team to call it a wrap.

“You gotta be kidding me!” Luke says running to hug you by lifting you because he is so tall and he missed you so much. You laugh and hold him tight. You say hi to the rest of the boys and you look at Calum next to you when you both noticed Michael is trying to act serious and cool around you when later he is going to ask Calum "Did Y/N said something about me?".

After a couple of minutes talking to the boys catching up about life, their crew called them to start the session so you have to say goodbye.

"Thanks again Cal, you saved my life today" you say goodbye to him with a kiss on the cheek and then the same with the rest. "K' guys bye, hope you have a good night".

You are stepping into your car when Calum calls you running behind you. "Y/N! before you leave, I lost all of my contacts when Ashton threw my phone into a pool…" you laugh at how they always been like that. "So if you can give me your number again if one day you want to hang out with me- with us".

You both exchange numbers and say goodbye.

+

Your producer laughs hearing that take where you stop singing and take a second to laugh at Calum’s face. “You want to put the laugh in the song too?”

https://www.instagram.com/p/B8EMIEPCF5y/

You don’t know if it was a joke or a serious question. You think for a minute at how frustrated you were that night with your team trying to build this song and thankfully Calum was there to help and give his opinion, also that laugh confirms how this song is not sad at all even when people were saying to you that it should be because of your breakup.

“Yeah” you answer and think about that little good time hanging out with Calum. You record a short video of that laugh that is going to be in the song, letting know your fans that you are in the studio pointing with your phone at the computer. 

Your stories on Instagram are always like a puzzle to your fans, like what does this means? what is this? when? where? new song? album? tour? collab? video?. Most of the times you add emojis, letters, or numbers that are meaningful to decipher the message and also to tease.

+

“Hello?... Calum? Can you hear me?” you say through the phone.

“Y/N? Hi! Yes, I can…” he answers leaving the room. “Sorry, I was so into playing my bass, we are writing a new song”.

“Oh sorry, if you are busy I can call you later-” you say softly and gentle.

“No no no. Ehmm, how are you? Tell me” he say surprised that you actually call him. He is giving you all of his attention listening to you.

“I’m fine and you? I’m calling you because we finished the song and I would like to know if you want to appear in the track info, cause’ ya’ know… you helped with the drums and other stuff” you wait for his answer, you are nervous of his response. Why? You have done this all the time with other collabs, ‘maybe because he is so intimidating but at the same time the cutest’ you think to yourself.

In the other side of the call, he is surprised and also he finds this so cute from you because he thinks that he barely contributed. “Ehhm, yes- I mean if you are okay with this I’m okay too”.

+

@MTV: Biggest return of Y/N!, who just announced a new single and a new collaboration TONIGHT!, a new album, and a performance for the VMAS. *internal screams*.

@MTV: Don’t forget to watch the VMAS this Sunday at 8 pm, amazing performances by Y/N, 5 Seconds Of Summer, Halsey, Rosalía, Bad Bunny, Doja Cat, Cashmere Cat and Missy Elliott winner of the Vanguard Award and more! with surprises of course, as always.

+

@y/n.updates: Genius.com has revealed the lyrics of the new singles! “everytime” and “quit”, the last one is from the dj Cashmere Cat’s album. We are so excited for our baby's return.

@bbcradio1: A friendship you didn’t know you needed until now… Calum Hood from 5sos appears in the track info of Y/N’s new single. Is Y/N going to appear in the upcoming 5sos album too? let’s pray to the universe.

+

“Of course last but not least to arrive the red carpet is the royalty in person, Y/N” the interviewer comments watching you posing to all of the cameras. “I am loving this moment. Y/N is here to slay the red carpet and taking pictures with every artist throwing kisses to friends like to 5sos, ugh lucky boys, now saying hi to Normani, we love that”.

“Yeah, I’m smelling big succes coming this year and Y/N totally deserves it” the other interviewer says. “Oh. My. Goddess… Can we take a moment to appreciate this outfit?!”. You arrive and say hi to everyone. After a couple of questions and compliments you are walking with your team to go backstage to change for your performance.

Once the Teen Wolf cast introduced your performance, everything went dark and silence and you appear in a large lavender satin dress, perfect to build up your figure and Cashmere Cat appears on a platform with his dj set and lights pointing at you and him.

“And you say that I'm the devil you know

And I don't disagree, no, I don't see the harm

They say, "You crazy, just leave him, he'll suffocate you"

But I wanna be in your arms

They say, "No, don't pick up the phone, let him think there's nobody home"

But I'm under your spell

'Cause when you call, my heart starts to roll

I always want more

It's my heaven, my hell…”

Then two contemporary dancers are next to you dancing at what the lyrics means to you when you recorded this with Cashmere Cat in the studio after your breakup. At the chorus a fake rain starts in the stage and you have your moment feeling amazing and feeling the beat that your dj friend was playing behind you. You participate too in the choreo while you sing the last part of the song. Singing to both dancers faces like if you are watching from outside when you decided to step out your relation. So each dancer goes to their own way representing the metaphor.

Then a new different beat went off for a little moment and you start singing a snippet of one of your new songs of your upcoming album hoping to make everyone clear how you are after your breakup because you still hear some comments about it.

“I got a bad idea, How 'bout we take a little bit of time away?

I got a bad idea

Forget about it, yeah, forget about him, yeah”.

The next thing you see is everyone standing up and clapping at you. You hug Cashmere Cat. “Thank you, please give it up for my friend Cashmere Cat!”

You stay not that much to the after party because tomorrow you have to get up early for a photoshoot.

+

You post videos behind the scenes and the photos of the photoshoot. You are in the front page and you did something original playing with makeup, hairstyles and clothes. Everyone is living for this new era.

“Ugh, are you going to do that call or should I do it for you?” Ashton interrupts Calum and his daydreaming watching your latest posts.

“What?” Calum answers confused wrinkling his nose and expressions.

“You heard me”. Ashton says letting know his friend that he is not stupid. “I noticed how you look at Y/N that night performing and then at the after party...And don’t excuse yourself because of the angelic voice because I know I was mesmerized too but you were on another level”.

Calum doesn’t add anything else and stands up to continue writing the new song but not without leaving a comment on one of your posts ‘gorg!’.

+

“Hello beautiful human, it is Y/N back in the studio!” Zach says through his microphone. Everyone clap and he greets you. Even the promo you have to do for your singles, albums and all that stuff you are so picky with the interviews you want to do because in the past you had a lot of uncomfortable ones with disrespectful questions and interviewers. It is not the case with Zach, you feel at home and he is your friend.

As always you talked about your new music, upcoming things, opinions about something, your personal life and you are so honest talking on Zach’s show because he always asks you about how are you doing because he knows that everyone struggles.

“So the whole tracklist it is on genius.com and I think that it is safe to say that I’m not the only one surprised with the collabs and people who helped you.” Zach says reading a paper checking the new revelation. “I would like to know details how it is to work with such talented artists and producers”.

You told him the details and including how Calum ended in your studio session that night.

“Thank God I recognized him because my bodyguard was ready to punch him” you make Zach laughs.

+

Calum saw your interview and after that he called you. He didn’t know what kind of confidence took him to invite you to hang out tomorrow.

That day you went with him and Ashton and Luke to the Star Wars theme park. The guys insisted that Calum must have gone alone that day but he was too nervous. Other day you and the guys went to bowling, Michael was losing all the fun because his new life as fiancé planning the wedding.

That’s how you got the chance to know more about them every single time you hang out. Paparazzis always were there and people talking about this cool friendship. But then Calum had the balls to ask you on a date. For your surprise he invited you to a The 1975 concert, then you invited him to a Post Malone concert, you went to the movies, then late nights stops at diners. And as the bond between you two was growing with so much love, affection, confidence, honesty and how safe you feel next to him you didn’t realize that you were holding his hand or arm so natural like it was a thing you two always do. That little thing was enough for people to start rumors. Calum likes you so much but he wanted to take things slow because of you and him after you told him everything about your ex and he did the same. His ex used him just for fame and to be in the public eye so with little details when you noticed he was doubting about his own self or anything else, you let him know that everything is okay.

+

One and a half month later, you are with him at your place in your home studio after you order vegan pizza for dinner that Calum was right that it is delicious. You were helping each other, mostly him with ideas of sets to perform Want You Back and Youngblood on tv shows. Then you showed him the final version of ‘everytime’ and he loves that you included the laugh in the song which reminds him of something. 

“I want to show you something” Calum says searching something on his phone gallery. 

“Found it” he says getting his chair closer to yours. It is a video that he secretly recorded of that day in the studio, when you finally hit the high notes of the song. In the video you can hear how he says ‘wow” multiple times and your producer is not surprised but still in awe. Then there is your laugh when you saw Calum’s face and when the song ends you can hear his ‘what the fu-” and the video ended.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B8O76_nC3Q5/

“Why you didn’t show me this before?” you say with giggles at how incredible you have the two sides of that moment.

“First, don’t worry because I’m never going to show this to anyone I know that I should ask you before and-” he is explaining himself.

“Can I kiss you?” you interrupts looking at him noticing a sparkly surprise on his eyes.

He leans so fast to kiss you, you take your moment to taste his lips after all this time you can confirm what you think about his lips. You break the kiss needing air. “You didn’t answer my question”. 

He laughs at your teasing while you bit your lip. “You’re right, I didn’t”. He holds your face within his hands and start kissing every part of your face while he says “Yes” in every little kiss.

Things got hot and heavy so you move the make out session to your room. Both of you don’t want that the other person feel pressure to do things but with you Calum forgot his “love is scam” thing. So he carries you and takes his time to make every moment, kiss, thrust and this night to last. He thinks that he is the only one that kinda feels strange at this amount with affection and intimacy but the truth is that you were feeling the same way, because with him you don’t feel a clingy or a needy person as you were in your last relationship. With Calum is different in a good way.

+

“So you didn’t come home last night” Ashton says to Calum when he arrived for lunch time, because he had breakfast twice today with you.

“Ew! I didn’t want to know that Cal” Ashton says while cutting vegetables for lunch. “Thank God you are together, it took you forever. To be honest, I thought Y/N was going to get bored of waiting”. 

+

Another night at your place when Calum surprised you with a romantic dinner and also apologizing for the other night when at his place Ashton interrupts you two.

In the middle of the night you woke up with an idea stuck in your head, you took your underwear and Calum’s baggy shirt he was wearing and before you stood up you melted at the sight of your dog sleeping closely to Calum, who at first hated him but now they look like besties.

After an hour in your studio with this new idea, you had the lyrics and already recording with a beat which two of your best friends made once in a party just fooling. The studio is soundproof and in another level of your house so the music is not going to wake up Calum, but the coldness he felt next to him makes him wonder the reason that woke you up.

And when he found where you are and what are you doing he reminds to himself that in this exact moment he feels so much love for you.

“That sounds beautiful babe” he said getting closer to you to kiss your cheek.

You are editing all focused this song to send it to your producer to do the final touches. “I didn’t want to wake you up” you lift your head to look at him with a pout and noticing he is shirtless and he looks tired from what you did hours earlier. He asked you details about this song called ‘goodnight n go’, he listened to it and once again all of his feelings manifest in a studio. “I love you” he confessed when the song ends. The feeling is mutual and the idea of this song came up all based in your relation you have with him.

+

@Y/N: new album. valentine’s day. love y’all xoxo. 

You posted with the cover of your new album.

+

“There is a lot of people downstairs” your manager said arriving the room, you were waiting for your manager for the first toast of the night. It is your album’s launch party and you want to celebrate with your team, your band and their loved ones. Your family, your friends, artists of the industry, and other famous people.

You made a speech about how grateful you are for everyone in the room for their patience, for the love and support for you and this new project. Before you start to get emotional, you said to everyone to have fun tonight and you thanked again. 

You rented a whole club for the night. After eating, cut the cake and having a few glasses of champagne you are ready to take pictures in the photo booth with everyone.

Your close loved ones of course know about you and Cal, but the other half of the people in the room just know the rumors and the pictures from paparazzis and fans. When you were taking funny pictures with other musicians, it is iconic that in the photo is going to appear artist from different genres of music that are your friends. Calum really wants a picture with you and just you even when he loved the ones with the boys and your friends.

“I’m ready” Calum said to you when you are pointing at the printed photo because Luke’s gold eyeshadow looks freaking amazing.

“Ready for what?” you looked at him confused.

“Ready to announce the world that we are together” he said biting his lower lip waiting for your reaction. He told you a few weeks before that he was afraid and he didn’t know how to handle at that moment if you said you were together, so you told him that it is okay and understood him.

“Like now?! What you have in mind?” you asked him nervous because you both know what comes next with this kind of announcements. 

Calum just took your hand and enter just with you inside the photo booth and when the countdown started he looks at you with a smirk and sparkly eyes. “This is my plan” and he kissed you on the lips at the same time the machine announced the picture was taken.

“We have two more! What do we do?” he asked you, but now that you are here you use right the last two pictures. One kissing him in the cheek and hugging him around his neck that Calum did that thing with his eyes and the biggest smile on his face because he is so happy and also the alcohol. And the last one looks a little bit blurry and funny.

You took the opportunity to take another three but this time, now that everyone is going to know about your relation, the pictures are sexier but not vulgar. Of course your photographer took film pictures during the night so you will have several memories of the night.

You and Calum posted the three first ones on your social media.

@Y/N: my love💖.

@calumhood: happiest man in the universe. february 14th is not bad at all anymore with you by my side💛.

That night before you arrived home with Calum, he told you about a new 5sos music video called Valentine that was going to be on Youtube in 30 minutes, he told you that he wrote almost the entire song and you can’t wait to hear and see him singing this song, especially his verse.

We know we're classic together like Egyptian gold

We love us

+

The success of your new album was immediately. And that means a lot of interviews, invitations to tv shows, radio stations, youtube channels, etc. Calum went and waited for you backstage to the ones that were in US. But the international ones he couldn’t come with you because their new album is going to release soon and new music videos by 5sos.

“I’m so happy to be back!” you said. Today is BBC radio 1 turn. They told you they were happy to have you in the radio.

After you sang a song from the new album, you have to do a cover. In the past you did ‘Them Changes’ by Thundercat and ‘After The Storm’ by Kali Uchis taking advantage of your voice and the high notes you can reach, it is the same this time.

“Hi, this is Get You by my friends Daniel Caesar and Kali Uchis” you said. The last part is your favorite.

This feels like summer

Boy you make me feel so alive

Just be my lover

Boy you'll lead me to paradise

+

Youngblood is out and the release party wasn’t bigger like yours but the fun was the same. You appeared on the Cocktail Chats they did when it was Valentine’s turn. Now after two months your relation went public, the euphoria coming from the people decreased.

+

@Y/N: something huge in two hours with a special guest.

You posted on your stories with a sneak peek.

@ctrlnow: Y/N’s world tour with Kehlani as special guest. Next week tickets on sale. Are you excited? because this is going to be 🔥. It is the first time Y/N is going to perform in all the continents in almost two years.

+

@5sos: US, Canada and Mexico get ready for this tour. Special guest our buddy Dominic Fike. Tickets on sale in 6 days.

+

After 4 months of rehearsals and planning visuals, outfits, makeup, sets, tracklist, etc. You are on the road with the first leg of the tour in US for the whole summer in arenas and festivals. You are synchronized with Calum so you have no problem to hang out together and enjoy to the fullest your days off. 

Both of you don’t get tired of each other concerts. Watching Calum leaving his heart on stage singing and playing his bass, also looking so freaking handsome every single show. For him is the same watching your amazing show with your dancers and different outfits, he said it before and in the present day that he can listen to you singing the whole day and he envies you how charming you are with your fans and noticing every person in the huge arena.

You have a main stage, then a circular runway and a B stage. Calum is always in the first row in front of the B stage. The first show you were so nervous. The beginning of ‘goodnight n go’ started and the crowd went crazy. 

“It seems that you really like this one” you said teasing even more. You started dancing and walking next to where Calum is. Your dancers interact with the audience while you are reaching the high notes. 

We'll have drinks and talk about things

And any excuse to stay awake with you

And you'd sleep here, I'd sleep there

But then the heating may be down again

(At my convenience)

We'd be good, we'd be great together

https://www.instagram.com/p/B577uVJnJ6f/ 

When you looked down, there is your boyfriend looking at you like nobody else did before. You laughed at his reaction because it was priceless and before you keep moving you blow him a kiss. So as the same his reaction was that first time in the studio with ‘everytime’ that made you laugh, now it is with the song that he inspired. He does that in every show he goes, every time you sing ‘goodnight n go’. It is now your amulet that he makes you laugh in the same part with his faces and reactions. But not everything is perfect.

+

The different time zones, the distance and the stress is clouding Calum’s mind. In two weeks you have barely spoken ten minutes. And new things keep coming to you like singing to fashion shows, summer festivals in other continents, hosting tv shows, etc. His friends told him that he will get used to and things will be okay within you two. But he misses you so much and he is doubting about himself again in this thing called love.

“I think it is the best Y/N” he said through his phone. He called you that night, he is so overwhelmed and tired. “I don’t want to be an obstacle, this is your career’s biggest time” he tries not to cry while he passed his hand through his hair all nervous.

“Calum please tell me you are not joking” he can hear your sobs in the other side of the line. You are in France and he is in Canada.

“Y/N just look at what time you are calling me! It is 4 am here where I am!” he said frustrated, it is not the first fight but it is the first time he yells at you that loud.

“Okay I’m sorry! It is late here too Calum in New Zealand- my point is that we will be okay Calum. After this I’m going to be home like you” you tried to calm him.

“And then what? Run to film a tv show for a whole week? Just seeing you at nights? We should take a break while we figured it out” he said and you are frozen trying to check if what he said is real.

“You are the only one who needs to figured it out, because I’m sure about us and… How could you even wonder and said that you are an obstacle?”. Now it is the opposite because the last thing you said was “Okay, if it is what you want. Go to sleep n’ goodnight”.

+

You don’t know how people could know. But rumors of your relationship are in every social media and it is just been a day. You want to throw your phone but you have to get ready for your show in Australia, what an ironic thing.

It is not the same hype when the beginning of ‘goodnight n go’ started. When you are singing the bridge that you were used to laugh thanks to Calum’s reactions. Now your voice breaks and hide your face with your hand and the other one holding your microphone so the public keep singing because you can’t. Your dancers changed the choreo to get close to you and let you know that they are there for you but still you start singing again in the next chorus but with a shaky voice. With this people confirms the rumors.

@enews: Our favorite couple is not longer a thing. With this we don’t believe in love. Y/N and Calum Hood are taking a break. Days before the couple had some troubles in tour. Y/N broke in tears and Calum didn’t go to any interview. Link of the video of Y/N last show in the bio.

+

“I supposed that you already saw this” Luke said giving his phone to Calum to show a video someone posted on Instagram. It is from your last night show.

“Yeah, I saw it” he said without making eye contact with his friend. Calum doesn’t want to talk about it. He is trying to convince himself that what he did is the best. It breaks his heart watching the video that now it is everywhere and his bandmates noticed how irritated he is with everything.

+

For a whole week Calum barely sleep two hours at nights. He looked off in the shows. He cries during his part in ‘Ghost Of You’, he sings spiritless in ‘Valentine’ and he asked to take off ‘Babylon’ from the tracklist. 

5sos have new dates in another continents after December holidays.

“You should talk to Y/N, the Asia leg is going to be over in ten days and after the holidays the South America leg starts” Michael gave his advice to Calum but once again he didn’t give any answer.

+

You took ‘goodnight n go’ and ‘everytime’ off from the tracklist and changed it for another song because you tried a couple of shows after but you couldn’t do it like it used to be singing that song. Your fans were sad because it is their favorite song but you don’t want to cry every single show. 

You have been in touch with Calum but not much. Just good morning and good night messages and that you are safe in the city you two are in that moment.

+

“Hello Mexico City!” Luke said on stage. “Welcome to the Meet You There tour, thanks for having us tonight, let’s have some fun!”

The whole night Calum were late and off key with his voice and bass that multiple times Ashton tried to follow him with the drums. Calum is thinking and worried about you when he saw earlier that you cancelled your shows in Korea because you got a cold that you have to rest your voice. He just wants to talk to you.

When the show ended, Calum throws his bass hard against the floor without caring a thing. After that he went directly to bed, without taking a shower, or eat something. It is been like this for weeks and everyone knows that what he decided was so stupid, but with hope that he learns the lesson.

“Can you explain us what was that?” Ashton said taking off Calum’s hands his phone. “Dude this is getting out of control, and we gave you your space and everything but now you are going to admit that what you did was wrong and the only thing you want is your relationship back”.

“Go away” Calum said.

“No, Hood. You are barely sleeping, eating, focused, happy. This is how relationships work, and we know that it is crazy as fuck when you are famous”.

“Yeah man, it wasn’t easy for me and my girlfriend” Michael said. “And now we are going to get married...Look, if it is meant to be and if you really love Y/N, you should fix this”.

+

You are back in LA for holidays and tonight you have the last show of the year because the second date of LA you had to cancel it because an allergy you had so you reschedule the show.

You are in the car on your way to the arena when your manager told you to stop by the studio because the new visual that you asked for is ready. It is a recap of this year, so your fans are going to see a couple of unreleased videos and pictures of behind the scenes of this whole year including everything and every person in your life.

In the studio you saw the new visual and you noticed that they didn’t put Calum on it. You love him and even when you are on a break, you wanted him in the visual too.

“Hmm I can explain it” your crew member said when another video randomly start in the screen of the computer.

“A mini film by Andy Deluca” you read in the title. The video shows the different reactions of Calum in every ‘goodnight n go’ performance. not just the tour, it also shows the reactions from his house listening to the song, or watching you performing the song on a show. It is a funny video but at the same time so cute and emotional because his reactions are different in every take. Calum screamed “YAAAAS!” or “I LOVE YOU BABY!”, surprised faces, funny faces, lip-synching, etc. And when Andy pointed the camera at you and you hid your laugh with your hand or sleeve, depends on the outfit. Calum says directly to the camera “Y/N should stop doing that, I’m going to say it later because Y/N’s laugh and smile are gorgeous… Okay this is my favorite song, enjoy it”. And the video ends.

“Wow, this is freaking cool but how did you-?” you asked your team when Calum appears from nowhere that scares you.

“I send it to your manager” he said. “I asked Andy to do this video because as always since the start of our relation I wanted to keep these memories”. When you didn’t say anything, he continues. “Y/N I know that I fucked up everything and-” he is interrupted by your manager telling your team to leave you two alone. Once alone with Calum in the room he continues again. “I got scared, I had never had a real relationship, this connection and what I feel for you before...I’m sorry”.

After a couple of minutes talking and giving your point of view that he didn’t let you give months earlier, you said “I love you, but please talk to me because the solution is not running every time things get complicated” and you hug him. He tried to kiss you but you said that he has to win your heart again.

+

“Hello LA! Hope you enjoy this surprise, happy holidays” and the new visuals and videos start playing in the big screen and everyone is laughing, getting emotional, while you drink water backstage you can hear the “awww cute”. And last but not least Calum’s video is playing and you are ready for the next song. Everyone screamed and are happy for you to be with him again. So when in the video Calum says ‘Okay this is my favorite song, enjoy it’, the beginning of ‘goodnight n go’ started.

Tell me why you gotta look at me that way

You know what it does to me

So baby, what you tryna say? Ayy

Lately, all I want is you on top of me

You know where your hands should be

So baby, won't you come show me? Mmm

“For this next song I would like to call Mister Calum Thomas Hood” you said looking at him. He didn’t know about this. You sat him in a chair and say on his ear “A little tease never hurt nobody babe”. Now talking to the audience, “Let’s go!” and the beat of ‘break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored’ went off. Calum is fighting and struggling when you are dancing in front and on top of him.

+

It’s been 3 years since Calum entered your room. He is so glad that he interrupted your studio session. And here he is now, watching you performing ‘goodnight n go’ like if it was the first time he heard you that night in your home studio, the feeling and the amount of love to you is the same and even bigger he would say, it just changes the place where you are singing this song. Now you don’t hide your laugh with your sleeve, and Calum always says how he feels and trusts in your relationship.

[nat-roman0ff]

me, myself and you

me, myself and you

sequel to “red, white and you” (can be kinda(?) read alone as well)

photos of you and shawn kissing in public leak, which normally wouldn’t be an issue if he weren’t in the middle of a contracted pr relationship. and per usual, connor is there to help.

---

word count: 3009

warnings: banter, allusion to real people (this is a work of fiction after all), and dubious bff’s

---

 “I don’t know how the pictures got out!” Shawn yells into the phone as he paces around the hotel room.

 You sit on the bed, chewing at your fingernails. Andrew’s voice is loud on the other end of the telephone and what you’ve feared for the worst over the last month and a half has happened. 

 After the Fourth of July party you and Shawn got cozy. It wasn’t anything serious - you were taking it slow and careful not to rush into anything neither of you were ready for. Up until now everything had felt organic. There was just one. little. problem.

 Prior to the party (and prior to many other things), contracts had been signed and negotiations had been made that included one Miss She Who Shall Not Be Named. Shawn begged Andrew to get out of it, but that would cost more money than it was worth and well, it just meant a few months of stage kisses for the paps and some hand holding. 

 The shit was fucking exhausting.

 Your time out with Shawn was reduced to backstage and bunk cuddles, and sneaking out of the hotel at odd hours of the night to shady dive bars where no one gave a fuck who Shawn Mendes was.

 You’d been pretty successful with everything thus far; until this morning when photos of the two of you (sloppily) making out on a bus stop bench at four in the morning got out. And well, the world was kinda in shambles (at least according to Twitter). 

Within hours there were headlines of Shawn being a cheater, you being a homewrecker and her being heartbroken. Of course, any press is good press but Shawn being Shawn did not want to be seen as a cheater. 

 “Of course we were careful!” Shawn yells, “I’m sorry that I want to kiss my actual girlfriend every once in a while.” 

 Your heart skips a beat. It had been the first time Shawn referred to you as his girlfriend. He paces the length of the room, rolling his eyes at Andrew’s words, “yes we’ll be more careful next time. I know this isn’t just about me. Yes. Andrew. Okay. Goodbye.” His last words come out in short and stumpy syllables.

 Shawn throws his phone across the room and it hits the wall across from him. He huffs and puts his hands on his hips, letting out an exasperated sigh.

 “You good, Holmes?” You ask. 

 Shawn presses his lips together, “fucking peachy.” 

 You stand and walk up to him, sliding your hands into the front of his jean pockets to pull him into you, “I know a way I could make it better,” you tease, peppering kisses along the strong line of his jaw. 

 Shawn raises a brow, “yeah?” 

 “Oh yeah,” you purr, “that 24 hour Chinese buffet across the street.” 

 Shawn’s eyes meet the ceiling, “God, I hate you so much.” 

 You chuckle and peck his cheek, “love you too. I’m hungry, can we go eat yet?” 

 He’s quiet. His hands release you and he crosses the room to sit down in the chair in the corner. His body leans forward, and he rests his face in his hands, “I can’t, I have plans with her.” 

 “Oh,” is all you can manage. 

 You chew your bottom lip, “damage control I guess?” 

 Shawn nods, “yeah. Andrew wants to go with the story that they’re old pictures. He figures if we just ignore it, it’ll go away.” 

 “Right,” you pip. 

 You walk over and lay on the bed, picking up your phone off the bedside table, scrolling through anything in your phone to keep you distracted until Shawn has to leave. You won’t let him see you upset about it. So you’ll wait until he’s on his fake date, with someone from the team sitting two tables over snapping “candids” of them on a dinner date and her sticking her tongue down his throat. 

 Jim fucking Dandy.

 “Please don’t be mad.” 

 The tension in the air is palpable. Shawn could be a dense kid sometimes but he wasn’t dumb, he read your emotions like the back of his hand and he knows you’re pissed off. You understood that being with a celebrity meant things worked a little differently, and truthfully the relationship was still so bloody new that you hadn’t even thought more about it until the photos came out. 

 “Oh, why would your girlfriend be mad that you’re taking your fake girlfriend out on a date?” You sneer, face still buried in your phone. 

 “So you did hear that, huh?” 

 You roll your eyes, “of course I heard it Shawn, we’re in the same fucking room.” 

 “Don’t be snotty,” Shawn points a finger, “this was all orchestrated before this was a thing. It’s not personal, it’s all business.”

 You stand and cross the room, slipping your shoes on and grabbing your hotel keycard, “well, it sure seems personal when another girl is sticking her tongue down your boyfriend’s throat,” you snicker before leaving him alone in the room. 

 He doesn’t chase after you, he knows better than that. He knows you enough to let you blow off your steam before trying to attempt a civil conversation. You pad up the hallway to Connor’s room and bang loudly three times. There’s no answer or even commotion on the other side of the door and you begin to grow impatient. 

 You knock three more times, “please don’t be masturbating, please don’t be masturbating,” you whisper to yourself as the door opens. 

 “What’re you doing here?” He asks, confused. 

 You push past him and walk into his room, “I need you, and I need alcohol.” 

 Connor slams the door, “oh no no no, the last time you drank alcohol in my presence you threw up on my lap.” 

 You scoff, “you barf in someone’s lap once and all of a sudden you’re not allowed near alcohol anymore,” Connor narrows his eyes at you, “I was aiming for Justin anyways.” 

 “Because of you I will never get the smell of regurgitated hamburger bun and gin erased from my memory,” Connor feigns disgust and shivers. 

 “Fine,” you fold your arms across your chest, “no alcohol. But I still need your help.”

 Connor shakes his head no presses his lips together and doesn’t reply. You jut out your bottom lip in a pout and make puppy eyes at him. He looks away pretending to be unaffected and taps his foot. Taking a few steps closer you enhance your frown more and he tries desperately to look away from you until you’re inches from his face.

 “Alright, fine!” He agrees, “I don’t know what I’m agreeing to but just get your face away from me,” he says, pushing a palm against your face.

 You jump up and down, “thanks Con!” You give him a peck on the cheek and he wipes it off, disgusted.

 “So what’s your master plan?” He asks.

 You sit on the edge of the bed, “Oh, I don’t know yet.” 

 Connor rolls his eyes, “you’re the worst at this.” 

 “You came up with the idea last time!” 

 He dramatically throws himself on the bed beside you, “okay, fine. So what’s the issue? Besides him and C-” 

 You slap a hand over his mouth, “we do not speak her name.” 

 “Sorry,” Connor corrects himself, “so besides him and She Who Shall Not Be Named going on fake dates, what’s the big deal?” 

 Now it’s your turn to narrow your eyes at him, “the big deal is that this was supposed to be some light PDA, hand holding, cutesy dates. Now she sticks her tongue down his throat whenever she gets the chance!” 

 “Does he say no?” Connor asks. 

 “What?” You ask, taken aback. 

 “Does he say no?” Connor asks again, “when she does this, does he say no, and make it stop or does he kiss back?” 

 You’re at a loss for words, which is incredible for someone who always has something to say about everything, “I don’t know. We’ve never talked about it.” 

 Connor shrugs, “might wanna start.” 

 You lay back so you’re parallel to Connor, his feet at your head and vice versa, “this whole thing is just so frustrating and she just annoys me.” 

 “She annoys everyone.” 

 “Fair point,” you reply, “I just wish he spoke up for himself more about it. I get that he’s in a contract or whatever but part of me can’t help but think a part of him wants this.” 

 “That, my dear,” Connor sits up, “is something you’ll have to ask him yourself.” 

 “How do I even begin that conversation?” You question.

 He looks down at you, “I dunno, send him a text or something.” 

 You ponder for a moment, “shit, that’s just dumb enough to work. You’re a fucking genius.” 

 “Yeah,” Connor throws himself back onto the mattress again, “something like that.” 

 You pull your phone out of your back pocket and pull up messages. Your thumbs hover over the keyboard for a minute, trying to find out the best way to ask. You eye Connor from your peripherals and he’s just staring at the ceiling, quite literally twiddling his thumbs. You toss your phone to him, it lands on his stomach with a thud.

 “Can you write something for me?” 

 “Jesus Christ,” he rolls his eyes, “I don’t know which one of you is more helpless, honestly. It’s embarrassing.” 

 You kick his shoulder, “just write.” 

 You pretend to ignore the mocking look on his face as he scrolls through your phone. Now it’s your turn to twiddle your thumbs while you wait for him to come up with something. 

 “He called me his girlfriend when he was on the phone with Andrew,” you muse. 

 “Fascinating,” Connor mutters, “how often does your boyfriend French other girls?” 

 You kick his shoulder a little harder this time. 

 “I kid, I kid,” he mutters, “yo why the fuck am I in your phone as Tweety Bird?” He turns your phone to his contact info, along with a contact photo of the cartoon character. 

 “You both have big blue eyes!” 

 Connor tosses the phone back at you, “I have a better idea. Let’s stage our own pictures. That will get him to understand how you feel.” 

 You sit up and stare at him, “are you for real? I’ve already been caught macking on him and you want to be added to that list? Where’s Brian, might as well see what he’s up to tonight.”

 “No, no, no. We won’t actually leak them.” 

 You raise a brow, “the fuck? English, Brashier. I’m not picking up what you’re putting down.” 

 Connor sits up to face you, “we’ll approach him with this ‘great idea’ to offset your recent drama by staging some pictures of you and me. We’ll get him to take them and if I know Shawn, it’ll make him so uncomfortable he’ll crawl out of his skin and pretty much do anything you ask him to.” 

 You sigh, “I don’t know, Con. The jealousy thing worked at the party when we were dancing but I don’t want to play games like that.” 

 Connor shook his head, “it’s not a game. Shawn will be smart enough to know he’s being set up and that will invite the much needed adult conversation you two need to have. And I’m using the term adult loosely because I know it’s just going to end with you to making out.” 

 “Or sucking his dick.” 

 He cringes, “please stop.” 

 You reach across and slap his shoulder, “alright, fake boyfriend, let’s do this.” 

 ---

 “That’s the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard,” Shawn says, his eyes flashing from you to Connor back and forth searching for any drop of rationality. 

 You shake your head, “no it’s not! It’s exactly what we’ve been doing for you and...her. Just trust us. We’ve thought this through and it’s going to be totally fine. It’ll clean up everything perfectly for you and you two can continue your...thing.” 

 Shawn lets out a huff of air, “okay...but NO tongue,” he demands, pointing at the both of you. 

 Connor makes a face, “that’s disgusting.” 

 “Hey!” You and Shawn both chime together.

 The three of you walk a couple blocks down the street away from the hotel to a low lit park. Fog hangs low in the sky and creates a soft mist that hovers just above your heads. There’s a perfect photo op spot below a lamppost that gives just enough light to show who it is, but not enough to where you can tell a real kiss from a stage kiss. The soft glow from the lamps underneath the fog give it the picture perfect backdrop.

 You lean against it, propping one foot against the pole and firmly planting the other to the ground, “can you please stop looking so grossed out?” You punch Connor’s shoulder. 

 “If I was any more attracted to you, you’d be Steve Buscemi,” he replies. 

 You scoff, “so are you saying Steve Buscemi is hotter than me?” 

 He contemplates his answer, “yeah, basically.” 

 You respond with a punch to the ribs, “ow! Jesus. Is she always like this?” He asks to Shawn. 

 He shrugs, “you get used to it.” 

 Shawn steps back a good amount of feet, far enough to look candid, but close enough to still make out the faces in the photo. Connor leans in closer, his breath smells like Big Red chewing gum and it burns your nostrils a little.

 “This is the fucking weirdest thing I’ve ever done,” Shawn shouts as he holds up his phone, “and I’m talking weirder than that time I had to hang out with a Kardashian at the Met Gala.” 

 “That was a Jenner,” you correct.

 “Same difference.”

 You close your eyes and place a hand on Connor’s chest. He’s close enough to kiss you now, and you can feel his warm breath feather your face. His lips are just about to touch yours when Shawn yells out.

 “Okay! I can’t do it! I’m not doing this!”

 “Bingo,” Connor whispers in your ear before stepping away.

 “Not doing what, babe?�� You ask, feigning confusion. 

 “This!” Shawn screeches, “I can’t watch you kiss another guy just to -” 

 And suddenly Shawn realizes he’s been had.

 “I can’t trust you two,” he points his middle and index finger at you and Connor, “is this how you feel?” 

 You shrug and it turns into a nod, “yeah. It’s definitely not a good feeling watching you kiss her back. Why don’t you stop it?” 

 Shawn’s face contorts in confusion, “what do you mean kiss her back?” 

 “In all the pictures that have come out you guys are going at it. What am I supposed to think?” You voice cracks a bit. 

 “I think this is my cue to...run away,” Connor says, backing slowly from the two of you and taking off into the darkness. 

 Shawn buries his face in his hands, “baby, that’s not what it is at all. The press only publishes the five pictures over a 2 second span of her kissing me. Not the ten minutes I spend trying to peel her off me.” 

 You pout. You’re still not satisfied with his answer. You know there’s going to be more events, and photos, and concert tagalongs and a whole lot of other bullshit until this is all said and over with, “can we please just unfuck this whole mess?”

 Shawn presses his forehead against yours, “I know it seems hard to believe right now but I really care about you a lot. And I’m sorry about this shitty timing but I want this to work out more than you can possibly fathom.”

 “Me too,” you croak, placing a palm on his chest and forcing him a half step back, “but I can’t be with you while this is happening. This can’t be a thing when you’re with her. Fake or not.” 

 Tears flood Shawn’s eyes as you watch the panic and desperation behind them flash, “no, no, I’m sorry. I’ll fix it. I’ll end it. It’s not worth losing you over something so stupid. I’ll buy out of the contract, I don’t care. I have the money -” 

 “Shawn,” you shush, “you know I’m not here to fuck up your career, or try and influence your decision. You signed that contract before we became an item, so you wanted to do it.” 

 “Plans change!” He pleads, “people change, ideas change, the course of life changes and you did that for me, not to me. This is my decision. I’ll call Andrew in the morning and tell him I want out, now.” 

 A couple stray tears have made their way past his lower lids and streak down his cheeks. You feel that all too familiar burning feeling in your throat that happens just as you’re about to cry. You choke it down though, as his eyes plead for an answer from you. 

 “Fine,” is all you say. 

 Shawn’s brows furrow, “what? Fine, what? As a woman of very many words now is not the time to be the woman of a few.” 

 “Fine. Call it off,” you grab the front of his shirt and pull him impossibly close to you, “but we go public as soon as it’s done,” you kiss him firmly, “I want everyone to know who your real girlfriend is.” 

 “Done and done,” he says before pulling you into another kiss, “we could be really creative about it,” kiss, “like I’ll bang you on that seesaw over there,” another kiss, I’ll livestream it right now on Instagram.” 

 You snort and pull him into a rough kiss, “you’re terrible.” 

 “I’m adorable.” 

 “Debatable,” you giggle against his lips.

 His hands thread messily through your hair as his tongue swipes over your bottom lip. The two of you part with a pop when someone near you clears their throat. 

 It’s her standing there with her arms folded across her chest. Shawn’s eyes turn into saucers and his grip on your involuntarily tightens. 

 “Oh, fuck.”

[twiddlebirdlet]

Inbox Collective Part I

Anonymous said: People are saying we should be happy because Chris looks happy. Looking happy and actually being happy are two different things. Yeah, he’s smiling in those pics but IS he happy? That’s the most important question. He said once before he’s a terrible liar and while I do believe he may have tells, he’s a talented actor, which means he I’m sure he can fake it good enough when be needs to. This is the same man who hid his face while out his fam at Disney now he’s facing the camera? 💁🏾‍♀️ LOL

Anonymous said: I hope whatever Chris is getting out of this arrangement is worth it because he looks like a joke now

Anonymous said: Here’s the thing, I wouldn’t actually mind if they were real. I’d support it and think it’s cute. But everything they’re doing looks fake and staged to the max. You never know, they could be Ben/Ana or Shawn/Camila 2.0 where it seemed fake, but turned out to be real, or Tom Hiddleston/Taylor Swift where it was clearly PR. Only time will tell. However, I do think it’s ironic that Tom/Taylor happened around the time Tom was nominated for a Globe, and won. Chris’ team def wants that Emmy nod.

Anonymous said: JS said in Vulture that he is extremely a private person and here he is doing poses for the paps in the middle of a pandemic lol. I thought MK was the girl who will call paps on them I guess here is Lily lol.

Anonymous said: Niall Horan said if you dont want to be papped you will not be papped. This photo reeks PR stunt. Taylor and Tom already did this back then when he is about to be nominated in emmys 🤣 I guess this one is way worse than Minka.

Anonymous said: you saw video 🤣 !! Backgrid said it was yesterday July 7, not today 😂🤣 DailyM they you left so bad as always 🤣 and they killed your article love in the park with the video 🤣🤣😂

Anonymous said: Srsly. They shouldve brought in the professionals to handle this. Did a table read. "Block the shot (set up up their positions, actions, etc)" at the hotel. Fincher, DuVernay, Joon-hoo. Or maybe Apatow since this and his life is a "big dumb comedy." His words. 😉

Anonymous said: For his next pap walk, I would suggest him making some training and some chemistry test before. Just the looks of him and the actress can sell the stuff for the public (who will not give a second thought after seeing that) but the older stans that will follow him through the years, will see through it quickly.

Anonymous said: Never thought we would reach another low level after JS.

Anonymous said: The fucker always walks like that when he knows he’s being watched. I can’t deal hahahah SO PR 🤣😂

Anonymous said: I could've lived without the video. It was bizarre. The ice cream eating was aggressive lol😂. Idc what anyone says they aren't comfortable around each other. She actively swung out of the way to avoid touching him while walking. They should've built up reporrt before public outings. But I guess Chris' time is limited like they bought his time along with the daily mail package. I feel like this is going to be very t swift hiddleston. He won't ever live it down and when asked insist it was real.

Anonymous said: I wonder how hard they’ll try to sell this crap in the coming weeks/months when it’s obvious that they’re trying so hard right now that they’re massively failing lol

Anonymous said: I kinda got a feeling after Saturdays pap stroll things fell through and after getting dragged for not wearing masks, and that this is damage control and he’s just not that into her. Especially with the watermelon thing paired with the weird body language. Like it seems so, odd.

Anonymous said: To the other anon questioning watermelon talking: Acting is actually quite ridiculous. If you saw hot things look on set, you would not be in awe. Everything is exaggerated and fake. It all comes together in editing. Most of the big actors I’ve seen on set often look quite silly in the moment.

Anonymous said: Biiiitch can you imagine? Lily: *licks ice cream* Hey Chris, watermelon. Chris: *licks ice cream* Haha, watermelon. Anyway all this just truly gets me thinking about if he does one day end up with a girlfriend and keeps it on the down low, is he willing to continue these types of publicity stunts. He has said in interviews that he wants to settle down and have kids but I think if that was something he truly wanted he could find it. I don’t think he’s ready to give up the Hollywood game just yet

Anonymous said: to the anon who said they would find chris and lily saying random words silly- they could be talking about how stupid the fans who buy this are and how many "cute couple"s and" they're adorable together"s they're gonna get after this cringe fest. or maybe she told him how she'd staged this to get rid of the "lily james snorting powder in a park" images that come up first on google search and she's happy he agreed 😏 for whatever reason none of us knows (yet)

Anonymous said: So they not even have a real conversation? Whoa 😲 this show getting worse every minute

Anonymous said: (Diff anon, I’ll use 🔅 as my marker for when I send in) As an actress upcoming in the industry watermelon talking is probs the first thing you learn in scene work if you’re a backdrop/extra/filler. This looks extremely staged and I’ve had training for dealing with paps/how to look and act when paps are around. Also notice how they’re “faced out”. If you’re an actor you know how to face your body outwards towards “the crowd” to get a good shot. They’re sitting to get perfectly photographed.

Anonymous said: I'm pretty sure I read on here or maybe elsewhere "We're not going to find out who his future girlfriend is based on who he follows on Twitter." Well technically I guess that's true :D Also we were dismissive of any chance of him and that athlete because she lives in Canada, and yet he was willing to go to the UK.

Anonymous said: They look like two people who are trying to ACT like they don’t want to be noticed and be all nonchalant but in fact they know the whole purpose of being there is to be noticed. It’s an act, pure and simple.

Anonymous said: The way they are eating their ice cream in saying one word between two licks is so weird! One strick tongue, one word, one strick tongue, one word. First time i see people eat like that. In a normal universe you talk and time to time you eat. You make break between. And are eating them so quickly. And Chris doesn't see to be the kind of man who lay down the grass like that. They are a big joke.

hagarsays said: But also we don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes maybe there is something going on between them we don’t know but saying this whole thing is stage well maybe it is but also what happen if they are dating and they are making it official now I’m not trying to start a fight or anything this is just what o think

Anonymous said: I'm feeling second hand embarrassment from all of this. Even if it seems it's working for his mentions on twitter.

Anonymous said: Me on Monday: Chris, where is 😷; me on wedneday afternoon: Chris, what 😯🤔🙄; me on wednesday night: oh, Chris 😂🤣🙈🤦‍♀️

Anonymous said: Maybe this whole things is the "work" he traveled across the ocean for…

Anonymous said: This is hiddleswift 2.0 😂

Anonymous said: Two PROFESSIONAL actors can’t fake one date. He really think he will be nominated for Emmy? Go back to Concord Youth theatre and learn some lessons how to look like you on a real date.

Anonymous said: For me what sold this as a PR move (no matter whether they get romantically involved with each other for real or not) is not just the fact of the timely pics and vid from BackGrid but usually when celebrities are "unknowingly"/ "unexpectedly" papped almost immediately you find fan pics of their sightings all over the place. But that's not on their case.

Anonymous said: I’m imagining a Ben and Ana situation where we get pap pics of Chris and Lily in Boston and Chris’s niece and nephews are running around with a Lily James cutout 🤣

Anonymous said: celebrities as big as chris and lily have incredibly talented teams... youre telling me BOTH TEAMS were unable to properly hide them from the paparazzi??? nah, they definitely wanted to be seen.

Anonymous said: That video has my DYING😂😂😂 y’all are actors do better😂😂

Anonymous said: At first I was mad at Chris for this shit he made, but after that video I can’t wait for more. THIS IS THE BEST COMEDY SHOW. Chris please don’t stop, give us more material to lost respect for you.

Anonymous said: Something that I always found attractive on Chris is the fact that although he played the PR game, it was subtle and he never looked thirsty. For me, the paps pics used to be a happy occasion to see him. Now he looks... thirsty? Still not on the same level of other celebs but it seems he took the first steps to reach that low. I have nothing to say about Lilly. That is her thing, she is just doing more of the same. And she is definitily not alone on this.

Anonymous said: He might hate having to do this, but he's choosing to, and not even bothering to *try* to look into her. That video made it glaringly clear that it's all pr

Anonymous said: I feel like you don’t want him and lily James to date Idk why

Anonymous said: I’m so sorry but this is not a real relationship. That video and these park pics really did it for me. I can’t stop laughing at this spectacle I feel like this is more Megan for damage control

Anonymous said: that video makes it look so staged even the way they are sitting. Wonder what will be next?

Anonymous said: I think these pics were taken on Saturday the day after. It has been wet in London (good ole British summer) and they would not be sitting on wet grass. Does scream PR. Chris will have to be returning soon to US for his ASP launch unless he zooms from London. Sill can’t believe he would fly over for a hook up it has to be work related as will.

Anonymous said: What’s going to happen if they come out and say they been dating you still not going to believe them you will still think it’s PR

Anonymous said: Also if they wanted this whole thing to be PR they would have started a long time go before DJ came out I really think they are dating like we can never know what happens behind close time

Anonymous said: I don’t even know which parts of that video more funny. That awkward ice cream licking while paps shouting or that awkward walk like two strangers. And some people really think these two are real life prince and princess love story.

Anonymous said: I feel like we are all jumping to conclusions with this whole lily and Chris situation but MAYBE JUST MAYBE they are really dating

Anonymous said: I feel embarrassed for them in these photos. No offense I don’t mean to come off rude. But this is so staged. I thought maybe this was real but a video I’m sorry there was a purpose for this

Anonymous said: There nothing wrong with the video the paparazzi is being so nosey you acting like they are staring at the camera but they are not they are just talking

Anonymous said: They look more interested in their ice creams than each other 🤣. Why didn't Jenny get this treatment? At least Minka got a few pap walks.

Anonymous said: There nothing wrong with the video the paparazzi is being so nosey you acting like they are staring at the camera but they are not they are just talking

Anonymous said: Oh yeaaaah, they seem super natural and in love in that video 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Anonymous said: Is there any possibility that they are genuinely dating/having a fling but are using it for PR at the same time? Or are perhaps just fwb?

Anonymous said: I know this is a weird thought, but her clutching the hotel bag felt like her guilty conscience speaking. If she really had slept with him, she wouldn’t be so desperate to prove it. Maybe I’m wrong, though. He flew all that way, he might as well get something out of it, since he’s killing his reputation. I thought I actually heard a story about him laughing at the TS drama on the avengers set. Oh, how the tables have turned.

Anonymous said: Do you think there’s any possibility they’re just starting out dating or just friends with benefits maybe?

Anonymous said: Someone on Twitter said Lily begins filming something later this month? Hopefully this nonsense won't last for long. He's sort of flushing away his credibility and good will by pulling such stunts when so may people are going through such hardships and tragedy. It's so insensitive and out of touch. Especially if this is all for an Emmy nom. That award belongs to Mark Ruffalo anyway.

Anonymous said: I would pay all my money to see Scott’s reaction watching those pictures from the park. I think he’s second hand embarrassed for his brother. Or maybe Chris will get some lessons how yo look more natural on their next date.

Anonymous said: I agree with you. Celebs can't scream "my privacy", "leave me alone", or "ugh, LA" (as Chris said once in an interview) when they are doing this kind of thing. That are actors and actresses who never used this kind of tool or are rarely papped and manage to have a good career. But maybe those are the more talented, that get screenplays at their doors? Or the ones who truly give a sh*t about fame?

Anonymous said: So we've decided all this PR probably isn't for ASP, and maybe it's for the Emmys, even though it's a long shot he'll be nominated, and he definitely won't win. That's a hell of a lot of hassle to go through. And I still don't get why it was necessary to go to the UK for this when he could've been papped with an American actress. Is it just because it'll be easier to break up with her when the charade is over? Long-distance, conflicting schedules etc.

Anonymous said: First time of his pap walk career I see Chris watching paparazzi. Not one made unintentionally but a few! And in laughing! He never did it with Minka, he lowered his head or acted usually, same with Jenny and their airport pics, just the time to order a taco or get their bags back but now he watches the camera, exposed during maybe one hour?

Anonymous said: I heard that today it is raining in London! people who live there mentioned it !! So maybe these photos were not really from today

Anonymous said: There’s always been something I’ve disliked about Lily, I’m usually really into actresses but with her there’s just something that is off-putting, perhaps cold or clout chasing etc. Do you know what I mean? I can’t exactly put my finger on it but my guesses/feelings/thoughts about famous individuals and people in general usually turn out to be correct without fail.

Anonymous said: I’m a Trevor Noah fan! How do y’all know him and Minka are dating?👀

Anonymous said: Why I want to know is why Chris would do this with Lily of all people, she’s so not his type from what he’s said but he’s also said that that goes out the door when you meet someone. They don’t seem to have anything really in common other than acting? Do they have any shared likes, he’s known for being really politically involved and she doesn’t, he seems a big animal lover but she doesn’t. Anything else you’d like to add? 😂

Anonymous said: Someone needs to create an account like that Ana de armas update account on twitter soon if this keeps going the way it is...

Anonymous said: So I’ve got a really really good intuition/sixth sense it’s actually quite scary. I can usually guess correct on things that happen months before they actually do or pick up on people’s changes etc. I have an uneasy feeling about Chris and Lily together, something doesn’t seem natural or adding up to me.

Anonymous said: I find this whole thing just odd. I think celebrities are so used to being at the forefront of news outlets that with the virus and movements they are doing really desperate things for attention and it’s almost humorous.

Anonymous said: Is it just me or was lily distant like alway looking away , and towards the paps ?

Anonymous said: I guess it’s safe to say this sh**how is going to get worse before it gets better (and less fake?)

Anonymous said: You said : “As for ASP, I don’t think he gives a crap about that at this point.” That’s kind of sad, seeing that he put so much effort into it, maybe that’s we’re all this comes from.

hagarsays said: Wait Chris probably went to London after he did his pre-recorded stuff for variety,deadline and 92y

Anonymous said: If i was chris’ PR, i would def not want this PR stunt to be bc we’re pushing for an emmy nom. Thats just tasteless & not the mark of a “serious” actor like chris wants to be. He made a mistake ignoring the deadline interview (unretweeting) bc it is just one of the few big ways that could get ppl taking him seriously bc it was MATURE. Lowkey weird to be 39 & doing classless PR stunts w/ an actress who isnt down to settle like he seems to want

Anonymous said: US said same thing as dm. I do not confirm the relationship between them again! that leaves me a lot to think about 🤔

Anonymous said: I’m confused. You do think that yes they are a real couple or no they’re not and it’s just PR?

Anonymous said: Def agree with you about ASP. Now it seems like he didn’t even give a shit. Some would think someone who wants to be taken seriously with his political website he would stay lowkey and wouldnt pull a PR bullshit but here we are. I guess Emmy nom is more important. Also guys its not about fans its about general public. The more ppl talk about him the more getting a nod from Emmy. Cuz the award shows need audience and if the ppl they nominate has new ppl interested in them it means more watchers!

Anonymous said: What post did he like that mentioned him? Was this on Twitter? What did the post say? Very confused and speculative rn bc this seems so staged.

Anonymous said: I can't wait till the paps 'accidentally' catch them strolling around Concord 😂

Anonymous said: Is that a new necklace Chris has, the pendant looks bigger than the usual one or is it just me. Also noticed the gold watch 😳

Anonymous said: Reminds me of hiddleswift that relationship started when he was in talks to get a GG. If we get lovey dovey pics i will be on the PR train. plus she has work scheduled for the fall and he’s kind of a homebody and she insta allowed in the country. So I don’t think it will last

Anonymous said: I’m confused about why get a cab to the park. Also it’s friggin cold here ATM. And many showers. Why bother.

Anonymous said: Mood, I'm not sure if it was you that mentioned that some of his friends posted pics on SM attending parties for 4th july. Analyzing all this situation I think that Chris and at least some of his friends can be entitled and irresponsible. He was even more irresponsible.

Anonymous said: This is backfiring on Chris big time. Some of his stans might be kissing his ass, but other people are pissed. The photos made it to ONTD and people are shitting on Chris real hard. And talking about Lily snorting it up in the park the other day IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC. Those photos of Lily barely had any rotation and now people keep bringing them up. This is so stupid. Why would he do this now?

Anonymous said: Also, one last thing: I think this confirms that chris DEFINITELY has a type, and it has nothing to do with brunette hair, her own independence or a great ass. Instead, his type really does seem to be basic, emotionally needy and fame thirsty actress. Like, he's on chick #3 who seems desperately thirsty for media attention. It's a pattern ON HIS PART for sure. I don't think he really cares about privacy so much as he cares about being judged or seen in a negative way.

Anonymous said: all theses pics of Chris made me wonder why we never see any pap pics of him with his family I find a little strange cause they are very close

Anonymous said: It can't be just me that thinks that if the did indeed hook up this weekend or even before (where even is that theory coming from), then they'd at least look more comfortable around each other. Because you'd think the play would've been this park set up first and then the hotel stunt.

Anonymous said: Anyways, I wonder if Jenny is getting married soon? Because as soon as I saw the ice cream pics, my first thought was: oh, I see, so jenny's wedding must be coming up soon... like this is a kind of petty revenge on his part. He's just such a dumbass that he fucked it up by forgetting about the global pandemic. Doh! I may be crazy, but my intuition about stuff like that is very often on point.

Anonymous said: Idk why but i feel like maybe Michelle introduces them since lily and Michelle worked on downton Abby and Chris and Michelle worked on defending Jacobs maybe that’s how they meet or got introduced

Anonymous said: They went to the park so whenever you Google "Lily James Park" you get these pictures w/ Chris instead of the ones of her snorting whatever it was she was snorting the other day.

Anonymous said: Worse than that, wasn't the post actually criticizing/mocking him? So he reads. He's OBVI on board with this, so of course he's checking for or is being informed of it's reception in real-time. His "Old man yells at sky" spiel abt mod tech doesn't jibe w his deleting a couple of tone deaf tweets (months aft his mentions/comments were in shambles), getting "caught" liking/unliking at lightning speed, etc. He reads, he just responds subtly: Dodger content, blue hearts, got snippy in a kids video.

Anonymous said: It still sucks that he did this when people are literally dying due to Covid19. Surely, their meet cute could have waited till things were better? I was supposed to fly to London later this year but can't because I'm not a wealthy white men with an abundance of privilege. It's like they are rubbing their privilege in our noses. Even if this is real, it's a terrible way to begin things. Makes them both look careless and selfish.

Anonymous said: Why do you think Chris went on instagram Was it maybe to see what people thought out him and lily being together Or because he relieds he should of been wearing a mask , and wanting to see how people reacted to that

Anonymous said: What do you think is going on? I’m so confused as to whether they’re genuinely dating and whether they’ve been dating for a while or not, how they’re going to work the relationship- will she move or will he? Is it PR? She’s only been known lately for her Sky Mobile ads so publicity for her, and also the Backgrid stuff

Anonymous said: I think she called the paps at the hotel and now the morning after Chris is doing damage control with mask and ice cream. She is literally holding the hotel bag probably from the night before. To your point no way they would release his hotel

Anonymous said: Plus Lily has been papped multiple times since lockdown began. I don't she has ever been photographed in a mask. So this is a first for her. He obviously told her to wear one.

Anonymous said: I showed other people the pics, including someone NOT in the fandom, and they said it doesn’t look like a couple. It just looks like friends. None of the pics look “cozy”...he’s walking with his hands in his pockets and when his hands are out, they aren’t holding hands. They are just walking and talking like friends. And she looks directly in the camera again. She KNEW paps were there. It’s so staged it’s embarrassing 🤦‍♀️ Why would HE be okay with that? I thought he hated Minka doing that?

Anonymous said: dodger better be pissed about that shitty haircut. if chris was going to break quarantine anyway, what was it all for?

Anonymous said: The fact they went for a masked pap walk today totally shows they or their teams checked their mentions.

Anonymous said: Did they leave the park together in the taxi or just her?

Anonymous said: I guess that the mission was accomplished with the new pics. Anyone who dares to mention that there is still a pandem... STOP BEING JEALOUS!!!! CINAMOON ROLL IS JUST LIVING HIS LIFE! HE DESERVES IT!!! Wait, but he traveled from the country that has more cases... YOU ARE JEALOUS! HE NEVER DOES ANYTHING RIGHT FOR YOU BAD FANS THAT DON'T SUPPORT HIM! STOP! IT WILL HURT HIS FEELINGS!!!! LET ME CUDDLE MY CUTE 39 YEARS OLD BABY!!!!! But now on a serious note, I think I'm finally done with fandoms. Anonymous said: I’m confused about the timeline. The article says Wednesday but people who live in London say the weather is not consistent with the photos. It’s rainy and cold. Who rolls around in wet grass? But why lie about the day?

Anonymous said: Even if it’s not him checking what’s being said about him someone on his team is don’t be naive anon.

Anonymous said: She hasn’t been seen wearing one in public during the day until today...lol they knew to wear one

Anonymous said: Chris is wearing a bandana for dogs.... I was searching it up and yes it is for Dogs and it is the same pattern..... As a fan of taylor swift, this is basically the same with tom hiddlestone. A complete PR one lol. You can even clearly see it🤣🤣🤣

Anonymous said: Even if Chris wasn’t checking his mentions, his team definitely is. They are paid to do do. But he is checking 😉

Anonymous said: usa magazine said the same thing as daily M !! I do not confirm the relationship between them again! that leaves me a lot to think about?

Anonymous said: That fact that once again they are both looking into the camera has me rolling my eyes. You both are actors you are paid to NOT look into cameras🙄

Anonymous said: Times will tell if it's just a hook up or a serious relationship

Anonymous said: Wait did Megan courier that mask to him 😂

Anonymous said: i think chris needs to go home and have a serious think about his action maybe scott and mama evans can talk some sense into him

Anonymous said: it’s so strange that him and seb have this going on at the same time

Anonymous said: Damn. This all could have be done is such a cute and fairy tale way if they waited a little bit. But I guess overall people are liking and we are just a small piece of the internet. But in middle of a pandemic? Really gross for a "woke and political" bae. His privilege is showing.

Anonymous said: I’m sorry Minka dear for calling you the attention seeker who calls paps on you and Chris. I guess this one is the worse Lol.

Anonymous said: If this isn't for the Emmy nom, then I can't comprehend why he's doing this. Many people are saying "Oh, he's been seen too long without a public gf, he needed one." Okay, so why not find an actress in Boston, or NYC, or even L.A.? Do they have any managers or agents in common? This must be some kind of setup.

Anonymous said: What I really don’t get is why anyone is supposed to buy this stuff as real? Considering they live on different continents and in the long run, to paraphrase you a little, neither of them would likely to move. If anything, this doesn’t just look temporary, it looks tawdry and irresponsible. I have zero respect for either of them right now.

Anonymous said: did they leave the hotel only to have ice cream on park?

Anonymous said: There’s a picture of him holding her arm and one of her getting into the taxi. Looks like he followed her into it to me!

Anonymous said: both Chris and Scott have c*ke rumors about them and know he’s with a girl that has been rumored using drugs with a friends on a park what a great combo

Anonymous said: I always thought that fake relationships for PR are tacky, as using real relationships for PR is tacky (IMO). If this is fake, a hook up, or a real relationship in the beggining, being papped this way when he clearly knows how to avoid paps when he wants is tacky and cheap. And in the current moment that the world is, trash.

Anonymous said: The pictures are funny. The whole thing is funny

Anonymous said: This is giving me Bradley Cooper and Suki Waterhouse vibes. Down to the picnic in the park when they were reading Lolita. Also widely known as a PR setup to begin with and with similar star profiles (though Lily is more known than Suki was). At least someone on their staff picked up on the mask criticism. I agree it would be comical if we weren’t in the middle of a damn pandemic. But it very clearly had a distinct PR setup vibe.

Anonymous said: Do you guys noticed his watch? Completely different from what he normally wears. Actually, I think at his daily life, he doesn't wear watches.

Anonymous said: In other pics she’s looking directly at the camera

Anonymous said: I’m dying of cringe. People gave Ana de Armas so much shitty for being “thirsty”, bc you know, Chris is such a private person, but flashforward to July 2020 we have Evans eating ice cream and laying on the grass of a London park with Lily James during a pandemic. Hahahahaha. I honestly thought he could do better.

Anonymous said: It won’t even last lol, she is based in London. And this will end in a few months cuz of “hectic schedule and long distance” LOL.

Anonymous said: And if she was the ONE?

Anonymous said: I don’t know how he would manage a relationship where their in different counties and during a pandemic

Anonymous said: Remember the comments mentioning that there were no pics of Lilly entering the hotel and that maybe she stayed there just for being pictured? I wonder if the hotel bag was an answer for that? If the criticism about the masks were not unnoticed by them, to the point that for the first time she was pictured with a mask, I wonder if all this is answer for those comments and about her being treated as "dirty secret". Not damage control, but a way to control the narrative they want to sell.

Anonymous said: He’s not holding his chest while he laughs. So I don’t believe any of the pictures 😂

Anonymous said: Do u see this relationship lasting ?

Anonymous said: still from all these pictures they haven’t touched

Anonymous said: Is this on par behavior from Chris the last time he had a showmance with the other Lily?

Anonymous said: Something about this whole thing smells fishy. I just can’t put my figure on it. I have a deep feeling that this won’t last very long at all. Maybe even a month. For a new couple, they don’t seem affectionate at all. So weird honestly

Anonymous said: the one thing i can't wrap my head around is why now. I've heard rumors he has a website launch coming up? Maybe? Anybody? It really looks like he went abroad in the middle of a pandemic to see a girl. Sloppy management

Anonymous said: Being seen traveling just for fun during a pandemic shows not great judgement. Just a terrible idea to destroy any legitimacy or goodwill he had right before launching his already problematic and naive political website. Yikes.

Anonymous said: Maybe she watched DJ as Michelle is one of her friend and she sent message and that is the way all this mess started

Anonymous said: If they are dating good for them they make a cute couple but I think they way they have gone about it is not so great.

Anonymous said: I can’t even click the link you posted of the pictures cause that sneak pic I saw while I was scrolling... I cringed so hard 😬 I’m laughing honestly lol. idk if is the fact that he’s (they’re?) eating ice cream (and on a park? )or whatever, it looks so dumb to me lmao this is sending me 😂

Anonymous said: Do you think they’re actually dating then, Chris and Lily???

Anonymous said: Do you think it’s PR or real?

Anonymous said: lmfaooooo what a nice wholesome masked date in the park after being called out for no masks and looking tawdry

Anonymous said: surprise surprise the photos and the publisher are the same again

Anonymous said: Oh my goodness! Tell me he doesn’t pay attention to what’s being said about him. What a poseur. Ironically, the ET report started with celebrities like Tom Hanks stressing how important it is to stay home and wear masks. Chris is such an irresponsible jerk.

Anonymous said: 10+ pictures of them hanging for a while and none of them kissing??? Hmmm, sure Jan. They’re totally dating 🙄🙄

Anonymous said: Also, not to nitpick, but their body language doesn’t scream sex. They apparently slept together the first night, but it doesn’t show here. They should have reversed these pap walks.

Anonymous said: Chris never did that. it sure is PR

Anonymous said: This is looking more and more like the beginning stages of a relationship now. I can’t believe this is pr anymore. It seems to me like he flew to London to be with her and now they’re trying something new. I would hate for her to be the one he settles down with

Anonymous said: How do we know he’s trying to change his image, he seemed fine with how he was as far as it looked like from interviews. Have you read or heard something new about him out there?

______ said: What do you mean by'not friend zoned'? I don't get it.

Anonymous said: another blackgrid and DM exclusive. Why do this PR now?

Anonymous said: This is so staged lol.

Anonymous said: the mask in those new photos just proves he’s had one with him the entire time you wouldn’t get something like that in the uk

Anonymous said: this isn’t that deep. he was prolly there for something, has connections with her friend group, staged a walk, maybe hooked up. I would be surprised if they had been talking and dating for months. this was set up, him and Scott followed her at the same time. To your point zero pics of her inside and with her wandering around outside. Of course that was on purpose. she looks single and happy away from Matt and everyone is talking about Cpt. America & Cinderella. Just backfired and was too messy.

hagarsays said: So now that new pictures came out we can confirm they are dating now??

Anonymous said: anyone want to talk about his account previous username though joshpeck3030

Anonymous said: I’m not sure I buy him auditioning for her film. There’s a hierarchy in Hollywood. Bigger actors are usually offered roles first, and then the film is cast around them. He really hasn’t been the one up for a screen test in a long time. Like I said before, I work in this industry, and there’s a lot of ego. It is entirely possible, just highly unlikely.

Anonymous said: I wonder if we'll actually hear from Chris team closer to the weekend since it will have more impact for the weekend. Even if he was in on the pap walk it's nothing like Seb where both people actually look like they're together.

Anonymous said: What are carly & lisas instagrams? How do ppl know who follows who

Anonymous said: I think another thing to add is the JS said Chris likes to stay home and she would want to travel but he didn’t. He also said that he doesn’t like to travel in and interview. I don’t think that would change in the 2 years he’s been publicly single and 5 months in quarantine

Anonymous said: is it possible ce did some sort of screen test on like zoom or something for the paris trap before he came to the UK? idk about this whole thing. some people think because there are no pictures of lily in the hotel that she just came for the pictures then left after the paps left

Anonymous said: Makes me wonder if theres something wrong with hollywoods “most eligible” bachelors bc they’re single. If normal ppl can find love, they definitely can esp with how much exposure they get to love. Idk 🤒

Anonymous said: That Conversations at Home interview he did was dated 29th June. So he was definitely in the US last Monday.

Anonymous said: I know I'm going to get yelled at for this bc it's pap pics why does Chris look so angry in the last shots where Lily is on the other side of the gate/fence? He's also keeping alot of space from Lily at that point. Even in earlier pics he's not exactly walking next to her. I honestly don't think this was on Chris this time tbh.

Anonymous said: But what if the date was the work? If they’re setting up a long game PR relationship, maybe that’s why he went. If his next film is in London, he’ll be able to follow up with more daily mail stunts. Soon, he’ll have hey fever in the park with her friends.

Anonymous said: But logically if this wasn’t PR, which it is, this relationship would never work. The most i see is a causal summer hookup fling. She just got out of a 5 year relationship, l like JS and she lives across the pond. For someone the before the pandemic spent most of his time in MA I don’t see that changing. And lily is based in London and is an upcoming actress who, if she had to move to the states, would go to LA or NY. Not to mention mama Evans probably won’t like her “hay fever”

Anonymous said: some chris fans are so boring, we always talk about theories on fandom and it never hurt chris before. Sometimes this is entertainment, no one is hurting anyone, but there are some fans who pretend to be naive and love everything Chris does, but hate others like Jenny and Chris ex-girlfriends and are also the same fans who are chasing him on twitter like that episode in which they discovered the topics that chris follows

Anonymous said: Do you think he’s still in the UK or back in Boston?

Anonymous said: Also Lily doesn’t seem like his type whatsoever

_____ said: Also megan REALLY cleaned up chris’ image. She had to do the lord’s work of undoing every single time chris was papped pre marvel & i gotta commend her for that. What a gem, i hope she gets paid $3938383838293

Anonymous said: Two of the three people he followed were Bel Powley and Douglas Booth. He worked with Bel on Lobby Hero, and probably knows Douglas too as he is her boyfriend. Btw, where can you all see his location on IG? It doesn't appear for me at all.

Anonymous said: Do you think Chris is going to get the Emmy nom?

Anonymous said: Do you think there will be any more sightings of Chris and Lily together?

hagarsays said: I agree I truly think he really went there for work or some type of business cause I been his fans since 2016 and till now he only flys somewhere for family vacation or for businesses or movie or work he doesn’t seem the type of person to fly somewhere like London for a date cause that’s stupid THERE HAS TO BE A WORK REASON I can’t think of anything else besides work

Anonymous said: Who is this Gemma person that Chris follows? When was Chris with lily on Friday, I thought the club/taxi/hotel was Saturday?

Anonymous said: the last two were the girl who worked in Lobby hero and her boyfriend !! I already knew them !! And to add the location of Instagram is not so precise, I say it because I follow people and I see that their location is different on Instagram. another example, sebas is in USA but it was seen yesterday in Spain !!

Anonymous said: the last people he followed on instagram are British actors, maybe it’s a project to come

Anonymous said: Do you think Chris and Lily are dating?

Anonymous said: He follows her friends? That’s so weird to do after one date unless they’ve met before. I don’t feel like this is pr anymore

Anonymous said: it's funny, because Sebastian's account is based in the USA and he's in Spain, same with Chris Pratt! Something it’s not right

_____ said: Just going back to if chris is cheap/sleazy irl, i definitely think he used to be sleazy & the residual effect is left. On deuxmoi, ppl talk abt him going to taipei to hook up w ppl (while filming push) & he hooked up when he was in LA last month. (Not slut shaming) but just pointing to the fact that chris doesnt have the steve rogers personality most ppl think

Anonymous said: I can’t stand Lily’s friend Gemma. Don’t know why but there’s just something about her that grates on me.

hagarsays said: I will die of laughter if there a statement from either team saying they aren’t together but they where seen because they might start in a movie together that we don’t know about yet😂😂

Anonymous said: Does anyone from Chris's inner circle apart from Scott and Carly follow Lily on IG? That may be a good indication of whether this is real or PR/hookup or a relationship. Also, it's hard to believe that they started dating before lockdown like that anon claims given that they were on separate continents. Also, she wasn't even in the first batch of people he followed on IG. Wouldn't his gf be one of his first follows?

Anonymous said: I have a friend from England on Twitter and we've all been talking about this. She said the travel quarantine mandate for the US doesn't start until July 10. They have their own separate rules from the EU.

Anonymous said: Twitter is full of mentions of the new beautiful couple alert. People do romanticize everything that involves beautiful people. Even what seems tasteless PR/ booty call during a pandemic.

Anonymous said: I was looking at the pictures from Chris and Lily Collins date and at least they looked like that could be a date. I would be disappointed if Chris and Lily J announces they are dating after those embarrassing pictures trying to enter his hotel from different entrances. They clearly knew they were followed by paparazzi so they can’t denied they were busted. So tacky.

Anonymous said: What I'm trying to figure out is how they would try to play the long game. There are so far no films he would be involved in shooting in the UK. Unless he flies back and forth expeditiously, which once again bad idea, I think even publications would side eye it. The Blast, even though they seem like a fan blog, pointed out fans nonetheless found a discrepancy that this more than likely the first weekend they met. No way a physical relationship has taken place prior. I can't wait to see how they

Anonymous said: 2),because it's going to be flawed and totally dangerous to keep up. Possibly he could still be in the UK but not for long. I don't understand what they thought to accomplish. Unless there is a real relationship but there is too many plot points pointing to this either being new or fake. Like you said he can throw around as many big words as he likes it doesn't make up for the lack of common sense. I truly believe whatever happens next will be pulled out of his ass unless megan orchestrates it.

Anonymous said: I noticed how Chris keeps saying that he doesn't care about how he's perceived in recent interviews. I mean, it's obvious he does, right? He sits and checks his Twitter mentions for god's sake! Do we have any idea about whether he's back home yet?

Anonymous said: “press about skeavy side entrance hookups during a pandemic is quite an image overhaul for the two of them” Why are we still going with the side/back door story? New pics of him inside & she’s nowhere in sight. Maybe she was just standing at the side/back door while she was on the phone arranging her ride out of there or where she was going next, alone, & didn’t need to stand at the front since she wasn’t going inside?

Anonymous said: I hope lilly knows even after Chris is long gone that's all people are going to ask her about. She could win an award and one sentence would be about that the rest about how she dated/hooked up with captain america. If I wanted to be known for something I wouldn't be romantically linked to Chris lol. His captain america image follows him like herpes and attaches to anyone less famous he comes in contact with. Even Scarlett gets asked and she's just a friend.

Anonymous said: I feel like Chris is trying to go for a Clooney/Pitt/DiCaprio image. Sexy bachelor that every woman desires and is a serious actor. He has the superhero thing in common with Clooney😂

Anonymous said: Another question: did he intend his blatant disregard for human life to be showcased as well? Or was that just a fun bonus?

Anonymous said: I was actually wondering about image overhaul, but then why did he spend a year launches political site and trying to look respectable? He wants to play both sides? Also, doesn’t this make the intern hookup seem more plausible now? Poor judgment is his thing

Anonymous said: I wonder if this is his way of casting off the good guy Cap rep Marvel built him, and letting the world know he’s a real Boston douche. I actually remember that I didn’t like him pre-Cap. He used to strike me as annoying. I thought I was wrong about that, but, now….

Anonymous said: Something struck me with those new pics. I know we are making assumptions that maybe she didn't enter but if that was the case, why he was at the lobby of the hotel after entering it? It seems that he is trying to get permission for her, you know what I mean?

Anonymous said: Since as of now there isn’t anything about Chris and lily situation as of now can we move on and talks about anything until we get something new or important to talk about cause we haven’t gotten anything since yesterday😂

Anonymous said: (1/2) Idk what this is but the problem is the WORLD is in the middle of pandemic & he traveled to the UK to party into the night. The same wknd thousands of ppl flooded the streets of London because pubs reopened. If it's a PR stunt, I don't understand it at all because it makes him look privileged & out of touch. Especially w/ this club being an exclusive club for the rich 🙄. I'm just taken aback because he's been maintaining a mature image with ASP & social justice things lately. (2/2) He seemed to wear a mask at the BLM protest & then suddenly he's stunting in LDN in the middle of a pandemic? Right before his website is about to launch? What I do find interesting about the pics is they remind me of the Tom Hiddleston & Elizabeth Olsen pics in London from 2015. And idk how Chris & Lily could have had something this entire quarantine because there are pics of her w/ Matt Smith from May 15, so this would've been a very distant & fast relationship to suddenly have 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anonymous said: so they said was is single? in ET or did they just say same as the articles !!

Anonymous said: I just rewatched the Entertainment Tonight segment and it was mentioned that when Chris and Lily spotted the paps in the cab they decided that Chris would go in one entrance and Lily to a different entrance. It just said there were rumors of them being romantically involved. No mention about reaching out to their PR teams about this. So still don’t know what to think 🤔

Anonymous said: Is there a possibility that Chris knows his ASP endeavor was a waste of time and money and lost likely will be considered a failure? Therefor stepping out with a new woman as a distraction is the easiest way to make people forget (since he is one of Hollywood’s most eligible bachelors).

_____ said: Is anyone else noticing a sudden influx of articles essentially flushing the daily fail and other articles out mentioning them? I’ve seen 6 so far. 😂

Anonymous said: Someone on deuxmoi say that her friend hookup with Chris when he was in LA recently

Anonymous said: Do you think the ET coverage makes it more likely that it’s PR?

hagarsays said: You think we will every get any confirmation or statement from Chris and lily rumor romance cause every media outlets are taking about it reaching out for comment like I’m surprised they didn’t say anything YET it makes me think they want to people what they want to think

Anonymous said: Why is she walking to the front glass doors in one photo and then walks around more to the back? But the photos of him released today he was inside the glass doors and she was no where seen. Was she already at the back door and when did she take her little stroll to the front and he wasn’t there.

Anonymous said: I wanted to ask after you made that comment about in the past Chris’ team would mention he is still single or dating around if seen with a woman. So my question is since nothing was said from his team could they really be together?

Anonymous said: Just curious, why do you say Chris was never serious about his relationship with Jenny? I wasn’t around then

Anonymous said: They obviously didn’t make out in the cab. That’s really hot and heavy for a hook up. 🙄 Neither showed much emotion or smiles or anticipation. They looked quite bored actually. You’d think they’d get out and laugh about the situation. He looks panicked. This is Chris right?

Anonymous said: What was the PR issued statement with subsequent Minka days (I remember the first one being “she did a number on his head...which should have been a red flag for MK). I don’t remember the other rounds, though

Anonymous said: BBC Series ‘The Pursuit Of Love starring her is set to film late July in Bristol. No male lead has been posted on IMBD. Wondering if that’s why he was in London and getting them papped would sell that story. Wondering if Chris would do a BBC series, also Emily Mortimer is directing and that looks to be her first directing project (what I can see on IMBD)

Anonymous said: Why would a couple who was together want to pretend to not be together knowing the paparazzi was there? Do they get paid for an exclusive scoop so they make an effort to not look official? If they are together why not look happy & go in together? Why the smoke and mirrors? Is this because he’s not committed yet? If he’s dating her he was really rude. Wouldn’t a cute picture be a better win? They could go with couple or friends even work spin. This looks shady esp knowing the cameras were there.

Anonymous said: I was just reading what you said about the Entertainment Tonight segment that if Chris and Lily being together was that he was “still single” or dating around from his team but since they didn’t say anything yet could it be tru they are really together? Just curious

Anonymous said: Are you still thinking this is a stunt

Anonymous said: This whole thing is getting rehashed over&over again&if no new pics come out it'll be just like the other Lily where when they talk about their relationships she will have once been linked to Captain American star Chris Evans. Its same thing with J.S. most gossip sites can't mention her without him&it'll bring up articles with her name when you search him. The funniest thing I've heard about it is that according to ET they went in separate doors cause they spotted the paps.

Anonymous said: Do you think they'll be anymore pics released from that night or is that all of them, also has anyone picked up on the new pics of him or are they not bothering.

Anonymous said: I agree that this was most likely a PR stunt from Lily’s team, but it’s not like she’s completely unknown. She’s def more known and well regarded in the industry than Minka and Jenny. I don’t think she’s necessarily “using his fame” since they both agreed to the stunt. If anything, it maybe benefits both of them for the time being. Lily is well off without Chris’ money and status imo.

Anonymous said: I have a bad chronical hay fever and I... don't put medicine in my nose that way???? Seriously. Do I do it wrong?🤔

Anonymous said: I’m not even sure US Weekly came from Megan. When she puts together something there is sources who are friends etc. Even with Lilly Collins. US weekly seemed to be more on her info than him. What do you think

Anonymous said: So she was photographed sniffing and nothing happened? This is a white privilege, black people are murdered for walking on the streets. is this what Chris wants for him? That kind of privilege?

Anonymous said: Besides him traveling during a pandemic, no masks and whatnot is wrong on so many levels and can’t be defended. Some who follow Chris I think this is so weird as he says one thing and totally does the opposite. He wants a family life and carve pumpkins yet does Pr with Lily who is in Primrose Hill group that all kinda posh and party. It’s just confusing but entertaining 😆

Anonymous said: If it is just PR, why didn’t he pick someone local? Was his entire business in London being papped? He could have taken a page out of Ana and Ben’s book, and been papped in LA. Hell, he could have even photobombed their pap walk with his or date and gotten free coverage.

Anonymous said: I think that maybe we should stop talking about the women he dates or is linked with and start thinking of what them show about him as a person. I'm still waiting to see one that is smart and talented and has her own career, or business, for her own merits. The type of woman that a confident straight man would be proud to have at his side, you know? Maybe those one run away from him?

Anonymous said: "Why does Chris seem to have such bad taste in women?" /// maybe it's because if he was with a good woman she'll call him on his bullshit unlike the circle of yes men/ women he probably prefers and he doesn't want that per say so he retreats to women who enable him and when he gets tired drops them to the side and let's his fans eat them alive, since he almighty can do no wrong in their eyes so whatever happens it must be the women who were never "good" in the first place

Anonymous said: This is like totally random and idk if I’m the only one who thinks about stuff like this lol, but do you ever think about what Chris’ mom and other family member think about this whole lily thing?

Anonymous said: Well non of his inner circle of friends follow her yet so that's something 😂

Anonymous said: Now an anon's friend's cousin's mailman's building maintenance's 3rd grade teacher KNOWS abt this "months-long romance?" Ok. IT DOESNT MATTER if real or pr, new or old --- if they're sooo familiar with each other: 1. Why not stay in his/their luxury hotel and "make out" so to not get 'visibly' caught by anons, and 2. Why not arrange for her visit/stay at the hotel BEFORE even coming to the UK, let alone while on the cab ride after CLEARLY being pap'd, if they've been "courting" so long???? Mess.

Anonymous said: I can't imagine this English rose in Chris Boston friends circle if they actually a thing. Jenny and Minka fitted there and It looked like they were friends with his buddies wife's/girlfriends. At least at those moments they dated Chris. Lily is too posh and to immature for Chris friends. But this is just my opinion.

Anonymous said: Do you think they’ll continue or will it be swept away like Lily Collins?

Anonymous said: I know it’s impossible to say at this point, but how long do you think a PR showmance like this will last? He’s obviously done it before but I wasn’t very active in the fandom then.

Anonymous said: “classy isn’t her signature pap stroll” 🤣 i love you 😘 😂 Chris really likes cheap girls.

Anonymous said: Does Chris just not care about his image? Why would he be okay with PR/pap pics that make it look like he was having some cheap prostitute sneaking in his hotel? This could have been done so much better without it making it look like either one of them is trash. Why does he wanna look like trash?

Anonymous said: LOL Last time I checked you don’t blow your nose not with a slender piece of paper that looks like you are snorting something. Keep it classy Chris Evans. Keeping it classy.

Anonymous said: Talking of not a good look, your jealousy is coming through as hatred. I think you need to back away from the fandom

Anonymous said: Maybe this is his new image. He’s put out stories twice now about dating around. Maybe implied promiscuity wasn’t enough. He wants us to really know he sleeps around and to get used to seeing him do it, perhaps? Or he genuinely likes her and she’s allowing him to reveal his inner sleaze bag?

Anonymous said: Huuum... Minka now looks classier than her. Lol

Anonymous said: Also to note both Chris and Sebastian are signed to CAA. Stan signed with them on late may and now is going yatching to Ibiza with a foreign women that curiously has the right passport to enter the country. Chris and James looking straight at the paps. Both couples photographed by Backgrid. 👀

Anonymous said: Sebastian was seen with a fan there picture on twitter and he not wearing a mask he been see 3 times with no mask in Ibiza and Chris was only see with no mask once in London😂😂😂

Anonymous said: If they do have some kind of relationship, this might actually work, since he’s shown here he’s willing to ridiculous pap stunts. He didn’t do those for Minka and Jenny.

Anonymous said: Well since people are busting their chops. I think there is 3 options going forward. They double down on their ignorance (if they do hopefully they adhere to safety standards next time), he let's it fade away with no further mention, or the unlikely option his team releases a statement apologizing for the lack of safety/denying or confirming their relationship. Either way nobody but us is taking particular interest anymore. It was a flop.

Anonymous said: If you guys though Chris was worse look at Sebastian he was just seen taking a picture with a fan and wearing no mask and him and his GF was seen with no mask and while Chris didn’t take pictures with fans and wasn’t seen with lily at all since Saturday

Anonymous said: So is the new image supposed to make him look like a jerk? I don’t buy the new image thing. We’ve seen him where it looks genuine being polite to women. This group of pics just looks strange; he looks not very impressed and she looks like she has a chip on her shoulder.

Anonymous said: He went from 4.5 to 4.6 million followers on insta and 120 tweet per day to 1120 per hour. People are taking and this stunt worked. And like you said not money shot of her IN the hotel. My money is on that she is still with Matt but her team is going to play it like he got jealous of her male attention and came crawling back.

Anonymous said: Also-he was so in and out of London. Like what in Thursday/Friday out Sunday...if you were seeing a girl...you are flying to London for more than 72 hours.

Anonymous said: Now an anon's friend's cousin's mailman's building maintenance's 3rd grade teacher KNOWS abt this "months-long romance?" Ok. IT DOESNT MATTER if real or pr, new or old --- if they're sooo familiar with each other: 1. Why not stay in his/their luxury hotel and "make out" so to not get 'visibly' caught by anons, and 2. Why not arrange for her visit/stay at the hotel BEFORE even coming to the UK, let alone while in the cab ride after CLEARLY being pap'd, if they've been "courting" so long???? Mess.

Anonymous said: A showrunner from a TV show I follow resumes filming today in London. She has been isolating there for the last two weeks and posting discussing her quarantine. It wasn’t required since she was there to film. She did it because she has common sense and cares about people’s health. It’s really not too much to ask of people.

Anonymous said: I don't know if really his like was real? I say this because What a coincidence he like tweet of black Raven? a very critical account about him !! If there are screenshots of Chris's Twitter account on his likes, I will believe it !!

Anonymous said: The new pics make it worse for me simply because it shows him inside, close to staff, with disregard for masks. As someone else said, just because it isn’t required there doesn’t make it better. He’s a news watching American. He knows what the guidelines are. Him looking at the camera and her possibly not going in just makes this whole stunt even more stupid. It was irresponsible. Period.

Anonymous said: My head are spinning from all the theories I read about those pictures. Are they dating, are they doing this for pr, maybe Chris didn't knew about paparazzi, maybe she's already moving with him to Boston... oh boy 🤕

Anonymous said: This whole thing makes no sense. He stands inside while lilly walks around outside. The like makes no sense, but that was an accident I assume. Which makes me believe he's going through his mentions and knows people are pissed about the masks. If this is bad pr they should stop while they're ahead. If they're dating good for them keep it to themselves cause people are already doubting this crap. This thing is unbelievable and ridiculous, you're right he's not as smart as he seems so probably 2) Anonymous said: had a significant role in this. Maybe he does believe he needs the pr. Also I wouldn't believe anything an anon source says is from someone close to them. If they want this bs official they'll leak it to us weekly or some other junkie outlet they're dating. I think they're testing the waters with this pr stunt to see how much they can milk attention. I'm disappointed in Chris for even thinking this is acceptable.

Anonymous said: Yikes. He's gotta be as dumb as a box of rocks if he knew about the paps and still thought her going in the back way was a good idea. He's really not that smart (I think people play up his intelligence a lot), but with how tightly he's kept his private life shut down since Jenny, I find this to be strange, to say the least.

Anonymous said: I don't know if really his like was real? I say this because what a coincidence he like tweet of black Raven? a very critical account about him !! If there are screenshots of Chris's Twitter account on his likes, I will believe it !!

Anonymous said: The fact that he’s looking at his mentions just confirms my feelings of If being fake🤷‍♀️

Anonymous said: For me his behaviour this weekend was way worse than homewrecking a marriage, which affected few people. I didn't come back to the fandom after JS with the same energy I had before. Maybe this is what I need to leave. I never thought he was perfect or incapable of doing mistakes. But there are too many information out there right now about the virus. This left me with a taste of arrogance from his part.

Anonymous said: So we have money shots of him in the hotel but not her 🤔 but DM is the UK TMZ they are sleazy. They would have not problem waiting around for her to go in and leave his hotel. She could have never gone in or she could been in there but why not release them. There’s so many signs of this being fake but believable to people that don’t follow Chris/Lily/PR.

Anonymous said: the fact that he deleted two tweets just after post is a signal that his not that happy with this situation

Anonymous said: I also think maybe it’s why this was her team vs Megan. Even like his articles have “sources” of they are just having fun blah blah. Not even DM or any of the US ones have his team surrounding it. They are recycling DM as the source and no reps have confirmed or commented on anything. I think he wanted a sloppy night and she documented it. And also why it was posted later so Megan could get a handle on it.

Anonymous said: now we have pics of him in the lobby of the hotel but none of her so she really entered in the back door or she didn't even entered on the hotel

Anonymous said: Why would PR want ppl to see Chris as sleazy? Also why would Chris want ppl to think he’s sleazy? If he knew paps were there & was okay with the whole back door thing, looking like some hookup that was caught or something. Why would he be okay with that? Even if that’s not what really happened, why would he be okay with being looked at like that?

Anonymous said: ASP today posted and immediately deleted posts from instagram and twitter. I wonder if he's already regret this dumb trip to see a girl. I wonder what Mark K and Joe K thinking about this.

Anonymous said: “cheap, sloppy and sleazy are his hallmarks in real life” can you further explain this? I’m having one of those days, and I think I’m understanding it correctly but I just wanna make sure

Anonymous said: So why did he do this? I mean the PR game. The guy does not need this

Anonymous said: Can I ask your opinion do you think they hooked up or just a set up pap shlt as we don't see her enter the hotel

Anonymous said: Are you still saying it’s pr or have u changed your mind

Anonymous said: I'm a little bit lost here. He truly liked and disliked the tweet? It's ironic that yesterday you mentioned that there were no pics of him getting inside and today they are here. I wonder if pics of her will show up later or tomorrow. This wouldn't bother me at all in a normal situation. But the moment makes all cheap and irresponsible. Maybe cheap and dumb is what he is? Maybe that's why the asks in interviews are all the same. Not for privacy, but to avoid dumb answers.

Anonymous said: I wasn’t in the fandom yet, but from what I’ve heard about Chris in his 20s, it sounds like he had a “cheap, sloppy and sleazy” vibe back then too. And he had a cleaner image once he started doing the Marvel movies. Now that he’s done with Marvel maybe he’s showing his true colors

[purrpickle]

Random Pezberry Thought of the Day #353

A/N: This is another long @thedeadflag and me headcanon waterfall/exercise/ramble (at least on my part). It’s full of FEELS and I think worth sharing. 

(And if you STILL haven’t read thedeadflag’s stuff, do it! Do it now! Here’s a handy dandy link: thedeadflag’s AO3. You won’t be disappointed. She’s amazing!)

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purrpickle sent a post Person A an...

otp-imagines-cult: 

Person A and Person B break up. One day, months after this, Person A goes out and sees person B wearing an article of clothing A got them on the last birthday they spent together. 

This made my heart hurt. ...And then I immediately thought of you. What does that say about our headcanoning/discussions? XD But seriously! This hurts, and makes my fic mind spin.

thedeadflag 

Being more than a little tactile and always complaining about needing someone warm under her, Rachel gets Santana a big super comfy and warm scarf (one that could double as a blanket in a pinch) that she agonized and spent weeks researching, knowing Santana was picky about her clothes (not to mention Rachel being super unsure regarding her fashion sense when it comes to Santana, because of their history around that particular topic, even despite Santana's reassurances since shortly before getting together that Rachel no longer dressed herself like the wet fantasy of a creepy Japanese business man with a very specific fetish). They spend the last part of Santana's birthday with that scarf splayed around them, among other blankets, and it more or less becomes something Santana wears when she's cold and missing Rachel, a turn of events that just completely makes Rachel's heart sing at the sentimentality (she pens a song about it that Santana wishes wasn't hideously disastrous, but she indulges Rachel regardless whenever the diva wants to sing it to her so long as it's in private). 

Flash forward two years later, about a year after they've parted ways, and Rachel's reading a tabloid on Saturday between her matinee and night-time performances on stage when she spots an article full of pap photos of celebs in New York after a major cold front rolled through the city in the winter. Her heart climbs up her throat at the sight of Santana. Santana, freshly broken up with some up-and-coming singer in a rock band, not that she paid an aching level of attention to her ex girlfriend, ex-best friend, and current distant friend who always seems to be busy, and who is only ever really available for brief FaceTime or Skype calls. 

Santana, who is walking through Central Park in the photo, on the same path they'd spent much of their first date on. Santana, who is weARING HER SCARF

purrpickle

And god, nausea just pushes up her throat - the kind like her throat's strangling and her stomach's rolling because of the sheer visceral reaction to seeing something incredibly life rocking - and she has to pour over the picture, convince herself that it IS the same scarf, not just a similar one, and she sits back, suddenly numb, limbs heavy. It had to have been deliberate, didn't it? Their first date, THEIR scarf... Rachel scrubs her hand over her face, truly confused, a mixture of old, buried bewilderment of how things had gone so wrong and hurt and awareness and something she'd long thought had unkindled out of her - a spark of yearning, what-ifs pounding through her head, racing, her hands trembling a little as she pulls her warmed mug of coffee, previously too hot to touch but now her fingers didn't care - it felt good and the slight plain anchored her - close. 

Staring at Santana's face, scrutinizing her neutral expression for ANYTHING, but getting no answers, she's only snapped out of her fog by her first alarm, alerting her she needed to start getting ready if she didn't want to be late for her habitual arrival an hour before she needed to be ready, and she decides, taking a deep, deep breath, forcing herself to close the magazine so it wouldn't blare out of her like a beacon each time she glanced in the table's direction, that she'll figure out how to feel later. And even if she had a decision to make in the first place.

*shares Katy Perry’s song Save as Draft*

thedeadflag

:O i know that song! And it definitely fits that AU and now I'm riding a wave of angst

purrpickle

You're welcome.

It's the lines: I still have the same phone number and we've both grown but I don't know (paraphrasing, of course) that really get to me and that AU.

thedeadflag

absolutely. Like, the fact that so much has changed, but that same line of communication remains as when you were together...makes it all that much easier to remember back, to succumb to the urge to reconnect, to feet the same waves of emotions you felt when things broke off, etc.

purrpickle

Also, like, Rachel doesn't want to make the attempt to reach out, rekindle things... And have Santana practically laugh in her face. That's the worst feeling of all.

So her number's the same, always has been, so if Santana really wanted to reach out, like that photo suggests, why didn't she?

thedeadflag

mmhmm 

Meanwhile, it's so similar with Santana. She's been just mowing through women since Rachel, and none of them hold a candle to the diva. And she just keeps trying, desperate to find someone who could make her feel like Rachel did, but there's just been heartache after heartache. But she's scared to reach out after their final big fight when things ended. Even though she knows with 99% certainty that one of Rachel's throwaway remarks about her being heartless was just a heat of the moment, slightly alcohol fueled remark from the diva, she can't help but call into question whether Rachel really thought that was true the whole time, whether Rachel hadn't really felt or believed her love for her. And Rachel's seemed so happy lately, so upbeat, and she's been miserable, and reaching out only to have those fears confirmed would be devastating.

purrpickle

My heartttttttt. 

And, like, maybe that day Santana had been walking that stretch of Central Park INDULGING that heart ache, having only just happened to brush her hand across that scarf she can't ever put away, even if a relationship gets semi-serious (before breaking almost immediately). She'd stared at it, hands helplessly feeling how soft and warm it was, Santana's eyes sliding towards her bedroom window to see how cold and blustery it looked outside. And maybe she'd wrapped it around her neck, heart skipping a beat as she smelled the faintest hint of what Rachel had always smelled like, and maybe, the scarf so noticeable around her neck, she'd, for the first time in years since traveling that path almost religiously for months after they'd broken up, just HOPING that she'd run into Rachel and they could have... maybe... worked things out..., taken the turn after meeting for lunch with her assistant. She'd tried to school her face impassible, tightening the scarf around her as the wind blew, almost laughing bitterly at herself for forgetting her gloves again, shoving her hands deep into her pockets as she remembered how Rachel used to chide her about that, taking Santana's hands in hers or pulling Santana's hand into her own coat pocket, gloved hand squeezing her tightly.

thedeadflag

 *gif of Emma Stone crying and eating ice cream*

purrpickle

She hadn't even noticed the paparazzi that day, trying desperately not to show what it felt like to know the bench where she and Rachel had had their first kiss at was coming up.

thedeadflag

Yep, definitely too deep in her "conceal" mode and her memories to realize anyone was following/watching her, for sure. Just thinking with every stinging heartbeat that this was a mistake, this was a mistake, this was a mistake. Because Rachel wasn't there, and the weather outside couldn't begin to compete with the bitter chill of loneliness and longing her walk down memory lane brought her

And for the rest of the week, she's haunted by the songs Rachel would softly sing when they'd get in from the cold and make their way up to the loft. And it's like whiplash, all those happy, loving memories with the renewed doubts that any of it was as real as she thought it was, as she felt it was back then.

purrpickle

Her footsteps had started to slow as she approached the bench... But with a sharp shake of her head she'd sped up and left it behind, telling herself she was stronger than she had been after the breakup when she'd sit at the bench and cry behind a magazine, hoping against hope that Rachel's warm, smaller body would settle down next to her, arms sliding around her and pulling her head to her chest.

It probably doesn't help that Rachel had been in a high profile, supposedly very serious and romantic, happy relationship for almost two years about a year after their breakup, with rumors that he was going to propose any time now until they had suddenly broken up. Santana didn't like to listen to rumors, knowing her own got out of hand, but it had still hurt. Because she'd been thinking about a wedding in the future - had ALWAYS been thinking a wedding was in the future once their relationship had settled and grown and became real, more REAL than any other relationship Santana had had. And the grapevine had said it was Rachel's boyfriend who had broken up with her, so it probably meant that Rachel had been ready and capable, definitely capable, of moving on. Sure, Rachel wasn't dating anyone currently, only casually here and there, and it had been a while since that serious relationship, but Santana couldn't help worrying that... That she wasn't needed. That Rachel had completely released her from her mind.

thedeadflag

i'm dying here !!! Ugh, the feels

purrpickle

Really, this is a LOT of feels. It's so gooood while it hurts, too. XD

(You know, I was thinking, and it's okay if your addition contradicts this, I just wanted to get it down, but: what if Rachel was actually the one who broke up with her boyfriend and let him say he was the one who did? Because she was happy, but she wasn't AS happy as she knew she could have been. And maybe he DID actually propose, but she turned him down, and that's what led to their breakup.)

(She's never told anyone.)

(Not even her closest friends. The only person she DID almost tell, who she WANTED to tell, was Santana. But she didn't.)

(It hurt too much. And they were over, weren't they?)

(She didn't tell anyone because she didn't want to admit who it was she still thought of. Too vulnerable. Too easy to hurt.)

thedeadflag

that's actually pretty much what I was going to add on, that Rachel was the one that couldn't go through with a bigger relationship commitment after Santana, because it never felt right, felt like enough. But she'd feel guilty enough to let the guy save face and say he dumped her. And she'd struggle with the urge to run to Santana to vent about the whole situation, because it was simply too much for her to handle reasonably well on her own, but she couldn't. Not when Santana had been the benchmark she'd measured him against, not when she and Santana were long since over with, not when they'd lost that best friends-style emotional intimacy long ago after their break-up. Even if Santana was the only one she would feel comfortable telling in theory, she couldn't, not when it was already super uncomfortable and exhausting and distressing to confront that she still thought of Santana. Not with all the distance carved between them since they'd split. Distance they pretended wasn't there, but was clear to anyone who cared to look.

purrpickle

What if... What if this is the first time other than directly succeeding their break up that they're both single at the same time again? Not even truly casually dating anyone.

thedeadflag

I could definitely see that

purrpickle

Like, absolutely single. Not talking single for two weeks or whatever or already forward towards the next relationship.

((("Did you truly think I was heartless?" Silence. Then, deep inhale. "No, Santana. I've always known you feel... Care too much.")))

Ohh, what if they start communicating through paparazzi pics? First Santana wearing that scarf in that part of Central Park, then Rachel fishes out one of Santana's shirts Rachel had found mixed into her things after the breakup and never given back.

thedeadflag

And they're both anxious messes, entirely on edge between pictures, trying to figure out if this is happening or if it's just coincidence, or if their foolish hope is blinding them to other messages at play. 

But then Rachel decides to be brave and lures the paps to Central Park, getting them to take a picture of her sitting on their bench, with a vegan ice cream cone in her hand. They hadn't had ice cream on their first date, or their fifth. It was later, on one of their routine walks in the park, after getting ice cream in the dead of winter for reasons that baffled Santana, that they'd found their way to the bench. And she'd been midway through licking her cone when Santana had leaned up against her, all taut and breathless, confessing she loved Rachel. 

And so there Santana is, years later, just staring through tears at the photo of Rachel in the park, cone in hand, head tilted towards where she'd been way back then. And maybe it wasn't a rekindling of the flames they once had, but it was...finally, for goddamn once...a clear sign that Rachel missed her. That she hadn't just been a stepping stone, an afterthought, a warm body. That Rachel really had seen her, known her.

purrpickle

 *gif of crying anime girl*

I think Santana loses some of her nerve, finally deciding that she's going to reach out - because it's definitely in her court now, after that pic - to Rachel through text. She writes everything out, hundreds of times, erasing and rewriting and erasing again. Finally, exhausted mentally and physically, she settles on, "Do you have time for coffee?"

thedeadflag

Was gonna respond in a bit to this when I had more time but YES

Santana being all "aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA fuck my life whatever I'll just...fuck it, let's just see if she wants coffee" *send* Marches away and paces for fifteen minutes to work off her anxiousness

And she's just so exhausted, and worn down, and every minute that passes feels like an eternity, and brings a wealth of new doubts and second-guessing, 

But then her phone buzzes

Rachel had been sitting on her bed when Santana's text rolled in. She'd done a double take, hoping she wasn't dreaming, and then left the room for a moment to come back just to confirm that fact. Santana wanted coffee. And not coffee-coffee-wink-wink-nudge-nudge like some use it as shorthand for a more explicit invitation, because Santana was not the sort to beat around the bush when it came to that... but coffee. Coffee.

And Rachel's mind immediately jumped to Stumptown, and Ground Central, and Third Rail, and Intelligentsia, all their old coffee hangouts across Manhattan, and the Bushwick favorites like Hearts, or Brooklyn Whiskers, and Mixtape Bushwick. All places with histories, but old histories. And as much as she yearned for Santana, and loved so much of their time together, she knew she'd grown as a person since they'd split, and that Santana almost assuredly had too, so she needed a new home away from home where they could feel each other out. A new place, a new tradition. A new them. 

It took her twelve minutes to scour google for a place with good reviews that seemed to have the aesthetic that could fit them, and before she could overthink, she sent a name off. Abraço

And then quickly followed it up with an explanation and a flurry of potential times and dates she was available, because of course Santana wouldn't understand what the word meant on its own

purrpickle

I think Rachel's also struck at how it's worded. It's completely up to Rachel, how she'll respond. Rachel might have expected some demanding or direct request, but the Santana she had gotten to know... It did make sense. And it also spoke a lot to her because Santana was respecting her time. 

And Santana, having frowned down at the random word when she'd snatched it up almost before it was done vibrating, felt so much relief like heat pool through her body, almost making her limbs numb. But as she read over the times and dates, Santana felt her heart sink, along with her smile. She was busy. Each day. She'd forgotten that she was headed for LA that Monday, for two weeks, as well as not figured that, it being currently a Wednesday, Rachel would be busy with her shows through that week and weekend. 

Santana's shoulders dropped, her eyes burning. She hoped that this wasn't a sign. And the fact that Rachel had responded at ALL was a positive. But Santana didn't WANT to send back what could be construed as backpedaling, or having changed her mind. But it was true she just... Couldn't make it. Still, fingers trembling as she typed out something she hoped wouldn't stop everything, her heart pained, she sent it, and hoped it would be okay. 

“God, I'm sorry. I totally forgot I'm going to be in LA for two weeks starting Monday. This isn't an excuse not to meet. I'm sorry. Maybe after I come back?” 

(My thought being they could start texting slowly again, getting to know each other again before coming face to face. And they're adults, with busy lives, and, I think, it almost makes it mean more if it doesn't go smoothly.)

thedeadflag

!!! absolutely!

purrpickle

It also goes to show how impulsive and exhausted Santana was, completely forgetting that.

thedeadflag

I could definitely see it happen. Sometimes in her excitement/determination, she can get impulsive and not think things completely through

purrpickle

Okay, delete the second I'm sorry in the text. I was thinking I'd forgotten to put one in. And that way, when Rachel gets the first text, she DOES feel let down, but then Santana can quickly send another text with another I'm sorry in it. (Or is that too cliche? XD)

thedeadflag

Nah, they're awkward messes. They've already fumbled their way through communicating via pap pictures. What's a little fumbling through texting?

purrpickle

OH GOD. Though I'm not done exploring this adorable awkward mess of Rachel dealing with the high and abrupt low - while Santana's in LA, all the magazines and tabloids are talking about are her romantic lunch and dinner dates (with her producer or something), no matter where Rachel looks. Like, she and Santana are communicating, and she knows not to trust tabloids, but Santana looks so HAPPY in the pictures, with the smile on her face that always made Rachel's heart pound.

Like, it's not a big thing between them, but it does stick in the back of Rachel's mind.

I was thinking earlier that both women make a concrete decision to not rush things - or, let's be real, even discuss what's happening with each other because both are terrified the other isn't after trying again - and just hang out as friends for a long time. Sure, there's awkward moments and in drawn breaths when they accidentally brush against each other, but they just get coffee together, then more coffee, then maybe lunch or brunch, then Santana inviting Rachel round to watch some sort of television show together or something. They try very hard to rebuild up the friendship they lost.

And there are missteps. From both.

thedeadflag

Oh for sure. They've been so out of sync for so long that they're going to bring some friction, and fumble around. And some old habits will resurface that are (or at least feel) a bit too intimate for that stage in the relationship, and that'll throw them off their games, and have them retreating, and yeah. I definitely think that's likely

purrpickle

Oh yes. Definitely. Good point. It kinda stops them cold when they realize what's happening. And yeah, they retreat. It's them, after all.

It's like, is all this awkwardness, hyper focus of NOT to do the wrong thing, even worth it?

Somehow, Rachel and Santana manage to get coffee and talk and spend together for about two months before people start to catch on, or take pictures of it. Immediately, the tabloids clamor about "Old flames igniting" and "Rachel had never given up on Santana" and "Santana turning to Rachel to repair her scandalous reputation", etc. etc. 

It's not long before Quinn is calling up Santana, not wanting her old friend to be hurt again, while Tina and Mercedes show up on Rachel's doorstep, demanding a girls' night out/in - and Rachel, who had had plans to see Santana that evening has to cancel them, awkwardly starting, like, "Tina and Mercedes are in town..." and "Yeah, I get it," Santana answers, "Tell Wheezy and Chang One I's talk to them later." Both don't get too good of a night's sleep.

thedeadflag

And maybe they manage to sneak off to a coffee shop late the next morning, all bleary eyed and grumbly, and proceed to pass out against each other in a shared booth seat. They wouldn't mean, to, of course. It's the one place that has someone deliver coffee too their tables, but it takes longer than they expect (or, than Rachel expects, given Santana knows how complex Rachel's order always is) and they're both just so tired from being up all night thinking about how to navigate the situation with their friends when it'd been hard enough to navigate on their own without the interventions and interrogations.

purrpickle

It's Santana who wakes up first when the barista comes over, and she groans, nodding at the guy to just leave the coffees. She shifts a little, heart squeezing as Rachel's head rubs against her shoulder, the other woman protesting at getting moved, and Santana lightly nudges her shoulder. Her heart is beating hard, her brain telling her not to move her, to take the opportunity to feel her against her again, and breathe in the scent that had always been RACHEL... And her fingers hover over Rachel's cheek, aching to smooth her bangs from her eyes. They've gotten close again, but... Not close enough for that. And they - still - hadn't really talked about where they heading. 

Exhaling, her eyes averting as they threaten to water, Santana nudges Rachel's shoulder again, harder. "Coffee's here," she shrugs casually when Rachel sits up, blinking at her blearily. Rachel's scent and warmth is gone, and Santana takes a sip of her coffee to cover herself. 

"Oh, thank you. I... Was I sleeping on you?" Rachel almost stutters, blushing. She can't believe herself.

(There was a song I was listening to [on repeat when I couldn't find the case to swap out the CD] on my drive back up that very much reminded me of this story. Let me see if I can find the relevant lyrics.)

(We used to be inseparable, I used to think that I was irreplaceable We lit the whole world up, before we blew it up, I still don't know just how we screwed it up)

-Selena Gomez, Love Will Remember

thedeadflag

this angst has me wishing lesbian life alert was a real thing because I think I'm gonna need it if this keeps escalating XD

purrpickle

At least in this 'verse they're rebuilding and getting each other back. :D

thedeadflag

this is true :P

purrpickle

(But honestly, it screams angsty Pezberry to me.)

Who breaks and moves in for a kiss first?

thedeadflag

I think Rachel. It's the slow build-up of past memories and feelings alongside all the fantasies and ideas and hopes her overactive imagination and inner passion drum up over the months of playing it cool and feeling each other out. Rachel does her best to keep composure, to play it safe with her heart, but she's absolutely not a "bend, don't break" girl, she's composed and strong and willful until she's suddenly not, and it's in one of those moments of weakness where she just straight up finds herself moving in for a kiss before she can catch herself. She's always wanted anything and everything in her life too damn much, and after so long just dancing around with Santana in this pseudo relationship, she just gets overcome by a rush of need, and...well, she wouldn't be Rachel Berry if she wasn't driven to excel in everything she does

at least, that's my take

purrpickle

And Santana registers what Rachel's doing as she's moving in, Rachel's hand tight in the sleeve of Santana's coat, and god, she's shocked still, lips parted as Rachel, hesitating only a second, own lips trembling, presses into her. It's not a long kiss, Santana's hands rising to cup Rachel's sides, Rachel already leaning back even as Santana gently puts more and more weight on her as if to push her; but then Santana wavers, and with a breathy, needy exhale, she's closing the distance, her own lips molding back over Rachel's. It's not an exceedingly passionate kiss, this one, just lips pressing against lips, hearts jumping and chests heaving with bodies prickling, but both women are slightly dizzy from the sheer RELEASE and CONSTRICTION it blossoms inside of them. Release, because it means both are on the same page, but also constriction from the sheer anxiety and fear inside each other that is this right? Even if they want this so much, should they TRULY try it?

(But Santana's not strong enough to pretend she doesn't want this.)

But they take it slow. Don't fall into bed. Don't even have a hot and heavy macking session. They just kiss once, twice, then pull back, staring at each other. Then they talk. They talk a LOT. Things waterfall out. And then Santana goes home for the night, maybe even the one to suggest it, that they should take the time and think and make sure that if they agree to actually try again, it's with time away and it's not the rush of just how amazing their physical connection has always been.

thedeadflag

Yep. Maybe if it was their first time entering into a relationship, they would have fallen into each other and their passion, but they're older, more cautious, with greater willpower. As much as Rachel might want to give in completely, she knows they have to get it right this time if they do it at all. And that means patience, time, and lots of talking. And while she's only comfortable with the last of those three things, Santana's worth the effort. 

(and yeah, I can see Santana suggesting heading home...as much as Rachel is a fantastic planner, she's more reactive than cerebral in the moment, at least compared to Santana, not quite as quick at plotting out the smoothest, safest way to handle this new revelation after they've talked enough about it and what it means for them. Rachel would ask a lot of important and detailed questions, but Santana would be steering that particular ship and figuring out for the both of them when they need to call it a night)

purrpickle

Right. Santana wants to protect her heart - and part of her still can't help but want to protect Rachel's, too - and she knows when she needs to step away, to process, and especially knows when Rachel needs that too. She needs to know that when they meet up again the same feelings will be there - from BOTH of them. And she's scared. She's honest to god scared. Kissing Rachel scared her - because it was real, because it illustrated that the physical feelings are still there, and because Rachel hurt her before. She knows, logically, that they've been working towards this, that obviously they set out with the resuming of their relationship in mind, but if it's actually starting to happen... No one, aside from Brittany during high school and the time afterwards, has meant so much to Santana. And she doesn't want to squander this, knows her particular role to play in this, and NEEDS to see Rachel reach out and meet her. And part of that is slowing them, if just to feel like there truly IS a way she can control this, feel in control.

That the EMOTIONAL part of during the kiss was still there, too.

She's vulnerable, but what she's learned over the years they were apart and her trying to move on, is that they can't fall back together in their old love. They need to fall in love again, in their new lives.

thedeadflag

^^^ This is hitting me right in my fluffy angst feels

purrpickle

Me tooooo.

I thought it was very important, this part: they can't fall back together in their old love. They need to fall in love again, in their new lives. Because it's SO TRUE they could fall into the old trap of just picking up from where they were, bury themselves and hide in it. When what they really need to do is TRULY start over, MAKE new love and let it be them, not the echo of what it once was.

Basically, they can't live on the dying energy of a supernova. They need to live on the new world built from its stardust.

thedeadflag

Yep. They aren't who they used to be. They can't fall in love with the ghosts of who they were...they can appreciate the good times they shared back then, and the love they had for each other, but they're different people now. They need to completely explore each other's depths again, and and find out if they're compatible again, if they can fall in love with these new versions of each other. Just because they fell in love once, and were a good fit once, doesn't mean they would again. After all, they fell apart because they stopped being a good fit. Something changed, or at least something didn't fit where they thought it did, and that hurt more than anything. So they need to get it right. They need to be careful. They need to figure out if they really fit together instead of just hoping they will and ignoring the details, because neither of them want to get hurt again, or to hurt each other. They know they deserve love. It's whether or not each other is the right one to share it with is the question they need answering, and Santana's absolutely going to figure out if the people they built themselves into after the wreckage of their relationship are compatible pieces of their life's puzzle, or if they're just better off friends

purrpickle

Oh god my heart just died. And honestly, they're both so scared that they'll only fit as friends. Because the way they feel about each other, they can't see a future where just friends would be enough. And yeah, you should always be friends with your lover, but could they ever be friends if they weren't lovers? Would they be able to grow into that. 

And honestly, I just saw a heartbreaking scene where Rachel's crying, sobbing, because she's so terrified Santana's going to say they won't fit, they won't work, and she's mature enough to realize that she shouldn't, wouldn't be able to MOLD herself into fitting together, or "changing" Santana to fit her inside herself either. Because if Santana says friends, that's it, and she'd abide by it, even as her heart's breaking. But she's crying, admitting to Santana that she wouldn't be happy, that she's terrified they won't/can't try again.

She's not trying to put Santana on the spot, but she can't help how she feels.

thedeadflag

She wouldn't be Rachel if she could

*help how she feels, that is. She's always been particularly vulnerable to her emotions pulling her all over the place. Again, she's always wanted things too much

purrpickle

I mean, that makes it sound like Santana's the gatekeeper for their relationship, but I kind of imagine, in this case, she is.

Rachel's not another rushed into high profile fling. But also, Santana does drag this on a bit too long. Maybe not entirely knowingly, but I can see Rachel finally pointing it out to Santana, quietly, forcibly stoically.

thedeadflag

and as much as she heard Rachel's words, as much as it all clicks together with perfect sense, it only lays her fears bare for all to see. She's always been cautious, calculating, and one of the few times she wasn't, she got her heart annihilated. She's terrified of that happening again. Even if everything points to them being a good fit, she second guesses herself, and though she realizes that a little late into their new attempt, she can't help it. She's scared. Because as much as she can see a vivid future together, she can still remember exactly how each one of the many breakdowns felt after she and Rachel fell apart the first time. 

But it's a good thing, it's exactly the kind of kick in the ass she needs, because she's been patient, she's been cautious, she's been so focused on them and how they fit, and she just hasn't let herself put all the pieces of their mosaic together in her mind yet because she's been terrified they won't fit, not just because she knows it'd break Rachel's heart for them to not be able to be friends, knowing it wouldn't be enough for Rachel, and that it also wouldn't be enough for her after everything. Not with how she feels. But also because she's terrified that they will fit, but that she's missed something, like last time (because of course Santana blames herself, regardless), and that they'll end up repeating past mistakes. 

But they're not the same people. Not anymore. And she goes over the differences between who they were when they started the first time with Rachel, and who they were when they ended. And the fact that Rachel isn't on-the-fly creating a powerpoint to visualize the differences as they brainstorm and reassess what they've learned over the past months...maybe it's a little absurd to focus on, but it's something that she uses to keep herself focused and faithful on the notion that it really isn't too good to be true, that maybe they really could work together. That in the years that have passed, they've grown and changed and the flaws that condemned their past relationship aren't there anymore. And at the end of the two and a half hour conversation, their coffees cold on the table, the sun long since set, Santana asks what they do now? (maybe? I don't know, is that the right sort of direction?)

purrpickle

(I'm not sure what you're asking?)

thedeadflag

like, I don't know, my mind's been a little foggy all day, so I'm not sure if I'm missing anything important in my on-the-fly stream of consciousness rambling/brainstorming

purrpickle

Hey, you're making more sense than my word deluge seems to make to me. Is this two and a half hour talk happening after Rachel tells Santana she's drawing things out?

thedeadflag

yeah, that's what I figured. Like, maybe Rachel says it, warns Santana, and plans on leaving directly after to let Santana think, but Santana reels Rachel back in, because okay, yeah, she HAS drawn this out too long, and if they need to get down to it and make the call, figure out if they're 100% in or out, then they do it right now. So it's two and a half hours of arguments and counter arguments and pros and cons and drudging up painful past memories yet again, and contrasting with what they've recently learned, and maybe some more info they share that seems innocuous but the other finds interesting or surprising, and it's all exhausting, and lasts much longer than expected, but by the end...every negative counterpoint, every con, has been dealt with or they're explicitly aware of it and have discussed how to work through that. And they're left with...all signs pointing to yes, pointing to "Pezberry: The Sequel" as Kurt and Quinn would call it. And as scared as she is, Santana's in. And Rachel, Rachel's overwhelmed and relieved, and frazzled, but she's in. But then they have to figure out where they go from there, and Santana's just blanking, because how do you ask a woman on an official date-date after you've spent 2 and a half hours going through an emotional gauntlet together?

purrpickle

You know, I think Rachel steps forward at this moment. She's scared, exhausted, too, but she can see how scared and exhausted Santana is, too. And Rachel carries a lot of the guilt inside herself, too. She reaches out, palm trembling, to cup Santana's cheek, pulling her to look at her. "We both want this," she whispers, "And we've talked enough that even I feel that anything more at this moment won't say anything more." Rachel laughs lightly, biting her lower lip, smiling as Santana's lips curl up, her dimples starting to show as her dark eyes meet Rachel's, "Why don't we..." Rachel licks her lips, heart starting to trip in her chest, gasping as Santana's hand finds her free one, almost shyly curling around it - just to feel Rachel's hand in hers, not let her lace their fingers together. "Why don't we do this? Go on a date. I... I want to. Tomorrow. Or... The next day. Yes, the next day." Rachel lets her hand fall, curling it around Santana's around hers. "We... We can talk in the meantime, but truly 'START' there."

And they do start out slow. Hold hands, sit next to each other, closer than they had before, but not cuddling yet, and short, light kisses when they get done with their dates or go home for the night.

Oh god. The first time they have an argument (like all couples do). Both are vibrating and scared that the other will say something that will break them, or bring up the past, so each are preemptively trying to protect themselves and prickling the other.

thedeadflag

Absolutely, it's like they almost expect something to go horribly wrong, like a veil being lifted to realize it was never real, they never had a chance, their past heartbreak was too much to overcome, that they'd be defined by their past actions yet again

and they don't even realize they're doing it at first, but they're throwing barbs in a sort of self-destructive "it was never going to work, so at least by creating its destruction, I was in control of it, I could minimize the pain" sort of way, and it's just leading down and down, and Santana realizes it first after a particularly pointed remark that sounds so much like her high school self that it's jarring. And it reminds her that this is exactly what she used to do in high school, to herself, at almost every opportunity for happiness.

purrpickle

((Okay, so I came up with this, but I don't know if it really, truly fits? Like, yes, it's vulnerable enough, but I'm not sure they'd really be able to stop the argument in such this way. What's your opinion?)) 

Finally, after a sharp word, Santana notices that Rachel's... shaking? Her heart squeezes, her own tension in her body suddenly more noticeable. "Rache?" she barks, it coming out more angry than she means it to, still riding high on frustration and fear, "You're... You're trembling?" She still wants to continue the argument, the self destructive part of her wanting to "win" the row, but the self sacrificing part of herself wants to just hug Rachel. It's only a stupid argument, not, hopefully, she yearns, the true end of their relationship. And Rachel's not even looking at her now, inhaling, as if to ignore Santana's question and shout out another painful jab... But she's trembling. And Santana realizes she's trembling too.

thedeadflag

it makes sense. Santana does love to win, and is terribly stubborn, but she's shown a willingness to shift away from those parts of herself (at least temporarily) to focus on more emotional matters. (example: arguing with Rachel over the disposed pregnancy test, pulling Rachel close and comforting her instead of continuing the argument when Rachel tells Santana she 'had no right' and subsequently breaks down)

purrpickle

*nods* I also see it as kind of an unconscious trade off... Rachel made the first move to ask Santana out (after forcing the conversation), and Santana's the first to stop this spiraling maelstrom. Obviously, both don't want all of their arguments or tiffs to end up in sabotage, so they talk, again, promise to try and not doom them before they truly have a chance. They're worth it... They have to be.

Ugh... So I'm feeling extremely fluffy right now. The first night they stay the night with each other, like in the same bed, as both have ended up crashing at the others' place before in a guest bed - no sex, not even taking off clothes, just in pajamas - but definitely touching each other, and waking up tangled together.

Touching each other as in lying next to each other or holding hands or even Santana opening her arms and letting Rachel snuggle into her.

thedeadflag

you know I'm a total sucker for soft, simple intimacy !!! Especially involving beds and snuggling !!

purrpickle

In the early morning hours, it's the special time of day where vulnerable, true things can be whispered without repercussions or second thoughts. It's the close, soft, warm moments, where Rachel can bury her face into Santana's chest and say, so softly, that she's missed this. That no one's arms around her has ever felt so good. And Santana nuzzles the top of her head, and admits, just as softly, voice as emotionally naked, that she agrees. That it's like they were meant to be. That, and she swallows, pressing her lips to Rachel's hair, that maybe everything had to happen so they could have this.