#it’s the kind of mindset that makes people like billy more resentful

[ickypuppi3]

something deeply ironic about the fact this used to be my mindset about the people around me vs myself before i got help and was subsequently the reason i refused to go to therapy for so long

i fucking love willel so much because they're the perfect antithesis to certain characters like billy. here we're shown people who can love deeply and care unsparingly and not lash out at other because of their own problems. we're shown people who have so much trauma and have trouble seeing the world as it really is and have trouble processing what everything means, but still manage to be sincere and loving and just try their absolute goddamn best to be better and do better than the people who made them this way. and they're stronger for that, for trying and being good. it's like a fuck you to the people who never tried for them. it's better than giving up and succumbing to lashing out because you don't process your feelings. it's better than causing someone else pain because you don't know how to manage yours.

[british-bombs]

( TO BEAT THE DEVIL ) An introduction.

FORMAT: teleplay / novel

GENRE: horror, coming of age

LOGLINE: An interning demon drives a pair of twins cursed with obedience and honesty to kill their cult leader.

THEMES: Trauma, sexual abuse, domestic violence, victim blaming (particularly self blame), peer pressure, redemption, internalized homophobia, and religion.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Sexual abuse, violence, domestic and otherwise, manipulation, and death

EXTENDED SUMMARY, CHARACTERS, EXCERPT AND NOTES:

Carmine can taste it. They're hiding something. Humans have such a silly smell about them, turns an overwhelming shade of sweet when they've made a demonic deal. All four of these children have. He just can't figure out what, and more importantly: why.

It keeps him on the surface longer than he should be. Long enough that Lilith sees it fit to send him a fucking trainee? And if that wasn't insult enough, the trainees one of the eternal teenage know-it-alls.

He's already got four annoying toddlers to trail, and now there's one tugging his hand in the new generation's approach to soul-catching like Carmine isn't one of the best employees they've had since the turn of the century.

And somehow, to make it all worse, the trainee is good at it. And if Carmine wants to keep his spot at the top of the food chain, he's going to have to get the soul of that dumb bitch who's running the joint.

But, of course, the kid gets him murdered??? And then has the nerve to figure out how what those toddlers managed to stick their syrupy, grubby little hands in. What gives?

But two can play at that game. If he can't get the dead guy's, then he can have the next best thing.

Jesse has lived just under seventeen years, but he's ready to check out. Or he was. But of course, some selfish bastard had to come along and say you can't ever act on those thoughts again! Don't think like that!

And then the hole kept getting deeper.

Six feet deep, to be exact. He's got blood on his hands and no matter how fucking good it felt to cut off the air supply to the God who stole his innocence, it's probably not going to feel very good to watch his mom suffer through a highly publicized trial with headlines like CHILD MURDERS HIGH PROFILE BENEFACTOR!!!

Oh. Well. Billy did say if he really got in that deep, he could always strike up a deal. His soul, everything wrapped up in a nice little bow, sweet as Easter Sunday. But until then? Yeah, he's content to live in a stupid fucking Sherlock Holmes novel.

CHARACTERS:

JESSE NIX: A soon-to-be seventeen-year-old saddled with the curse of obedience. Unlike miss-lucky-Ella-Enchanted, he wasn't told to give away his mommy's locket. No-siree. He was told to give away his virginity. In his opinion, the only appropriate payback is a life. Maybe, one day, if he really snaps, he'll dig up Pastor Dallin's corpse and chop his dick off. Really stick it to the man. If he doesn't go to prison first, anyway. (spotify playlist)

NANCY NIX: Also a soon-to-be-seventeen-year-old, though saddled with the curse of honesty. It's really not so bad. That is, until she stumbles across the sight of her dearest little brother covered in blood for no reason he can push through his metal braces. She refuses to believe he did it on purpose. If only she could convince the cops without sounding like a nutjob. (spotify playlist)

BEVERLY PINES: A seventeen-year-old cursed to feel the pain of those around her. It makes for some fun family dinners with a sadistic mom and a missing dad. Distance nulls pain, but she can't ever seem to make it past state lines before her mom gets wise and breaks one of her ribs. Oh, well. She's got a bone to pick with psychos like her mom. Apparently, Pastor Dallin was one of them. She doesn't think she could stomach the pain of killing someone, so next best thing, right? (spotify playlist)

CLARICE ANDERMANN: Also a seventeen-year-old cursed to be constantly in motion. It's honestly not that bad. She's Yale bound! Perks of having endless energy for everything to cheerleading to debate contests, though she can't imagine her heart's going to keep up like this. It's already hanging on by a thread. That thread is named Beverly Pines and like hell she's letting it go to prison for nothing. (spotify playlist)

BILLY: An annoying fuck trapped in a seventeen-year-old's body. No curses. The opposite, in fact - blessed with a silver tongue and a keen sense of deduction. It takes him all of two hours to put together (almost) everything about Jesse Nix. He just didn't think he could push the repressed little fuck to murder that quick. (All the more power to him, though. Prison always makes people desperate and paranoid, AKA: an easy mark.) (spotify playlist)

MAVIS EVANGELISTA: Former housewife turned grieving widow turned revered prophet. If she got a little help from someone downstairs, then who's to know? They love her all the same. Now, she really, really wants to see how far she can push them all. (spotify playlist)

CARMINE: Just a helpful guy, passing through. Really doesn't need anything, just a little pledge, is all! And then? Then, you can have everything you want, fame, money, power, love. The sky is your limit. The water's fine! (Ignore the piranhas, they'll wait till you're dead to eat your face, just a little bit.) (spotify playlist)

NOTES:

- all of these characters have equal importance within the story.

- personal tag system for story stuff is '#tbtd' and character tags are just first name (ex: '#jesse')

- this is kind of really fucked up. the only reason i wrote it was cause i was thinking damn ella enchanted really is NOT fucked up enough. like i don't think the author of ella enchanted went dark enough. a locket? that's it? a bitch move. i'm taking it to straight murder and sexual abuse

- jesse transgender, no character straight except evil people

- i'm not entirely sure how tag lists work but i think i get the gist of them?? idk if you want rb or ask or something </3

EXCERPT:

There were moments, where she was reminded just how different this voice was, how violent.

She had found Lynette, making off with her makeup that she’d spent her own allowance on. Mavis doted on her and, from what she’d seen of other families, everyone else looked upon their little siblings with contempt, despising the burden they dragged along with their existence.

But Mavis adored Lyn. When she'd been born, her mother had come home with a tiny thing bundled in pink fleece. Mavis had taken to Lyn on sight, thinking Lynette’s headband adorned with a baby blue bow was the universe’s way of telling her happy birthday! as reparations for the ones her mother had missed while she was enduring her week long stay at the hospital.

But that mindset was a disease, one that had finally caught up with her. Had Lynette not become her burden? She was nineteen, busting her back day and night so Lynette wouldn’t have to, that she might avoid the life that Mavis had lived in those blissful six years where it was her and her alone.

Had her mother not tampered down her birthday celebrations since Lynette’s was so very close and they couldn’t afford double anyway? Had Lynette not deprived her of the teenage experiences she heard her classmates speak of, going out and tasting alcohol for the first time while Mavis followed a ten year old Lynette house to house so she could complain of a stomach ache after she’d devoured all the candy on the walk back home?

And now this! Stealing her few precious items, the few things she bothered to save up for, few things she bothered to keep hidden. For what? It wasn’t as though she was ever going to have the courage to ask a peer of her’s out. She was a thief.

One Mavis had made the mistake of taking care of. She should’ve embraced those stirrings of resentment, should’ve left Lynette to her own devices since Lynette didn’t appreciate anything, or even half of what Mavis afforded her. She should’ve left her out in the cold that Christmas. How could anyone have known? It wasn’t as though corpses could talk--

She had let Lyn take off with the whole case, as if to remind herself when she woke up the next morning what she had considered, how vile the thought was.

Lyn had never done anything unforgivable to Mavis. Mavis didn’t suppose she ever could. It was no fault of Lyn’s she didn’t understand what it was like to live with their father. How could she? It was a topic off limits to Lyn by both Mavis and their mother. After all, a child born blind doesn’t know until it’s pointed out to them.

And yet, she found guilt hard to summon. She did, but the speed at which it came, the strength, made her uneasy. What had happened to the girl she was? Lyn had been her world. What had changed?

Then, dully, that other voice, entirely of its own volition, said You did.

[sirsparklepants]

On Abuse, Anger, and Control: Billy Hargrove

The next chapter of In a Day or Two opens with an explicit scene of child abuse. It’s been there from the initial outline. There are other scenes of abuse prior to this, but this is the first (and probably the only) one where it gets physical. I was working on it last night, and I had some Thoughts about how the Harringrove fandom as a whole deals with writing Billy’s canonical abuse.

Below the cut: explicit descriptions and discussion of child abuse, some mild criticism of fandom trends

Here’s the thing, so I don’t get a bunch of messages and replies questioning my bona fides: I’m the survivor of a childhood probably best described as “cartoonishly abusive”. I don’t talk about it a lot, not because I’m ashamed or whatever, but because it’s honestly so much ridiculous bullshit that I sound like a soap opera character. I definitely relate to Billy, but what’s depicted on the show I tend to see as comparatively mild on the “bad parenting” scale.

But I do relate to Billy. I see parallels in our upbringing. I want him to stop being such a fuckhead teenager and grow up to be a decent adult who left his past behind him, as much as I can. That’s really why I started reading Harringrove fic: no one in the fandom is shy about saying “yes, Billy’s a fuck, but probably a big chunk of it is that he’s an abused kid.” It’s a big part of his character, and even if authors understandably don’t want to deal with on-page abuse, I’ve read very few fics that don’t acknowledge this. Which is great, honestly, there’s a ton of fandoms that don’t do half as well. But I have noticed a trend that’s been niggling at me. A lot of stories paint Billy’s abuse as extremely, and only, physical. To an extent, that’s understandable - he is hit and shoved around in canon, and media and society in general tends to paint physical (or sexual, but that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms) abuse as the Most Serious Abuse There Is. I think it does a disservice to both Billy’s canon situation and many abuse survivors, though.

I don’t doubt that those authors are coming from a very good place. It’s fucking hard to get into the mindset of an abusive person so that their actions have internal consistency, whether you’re an abuse survivor or not. It can feel like you’re doing something wrong. It can be incredibly upsetting. It’s understandable to go for what’s been presented to you as the worst thing and leave it at that. The thing is, though, that for the most part? The actions of an abuser are not random. They’re very calculated to fulfill the abusers’ goal: keep their victim under their power. In my experience, physical abuse was just one tool my abusers used very judiciously to express their control over me. 

Yes, Neil does absolutely physically abuse Billy. That’s onscreen. It’s canon. It’s undeniable. But I seem to have taken away something different from that scene than a lot of other viewers. The physical abuse is bad, but the way his father acts? It’s an act of control, of expressing his power over his son. Billy is clearly physically larger and stronger than his father, but he never fights back. In my opinion, that’s because his father has somehow made resisting him seem useless or futile - either because he’s abused Billy from a young age, as we see in s3, or because he’s manipulated the situation so that if Billy does physically resist, he’ll be the one in legal trouble. He also only gets physical when it seems like Billy will do something he hasn’t mandated - go out and have fun. The thing that absolutely cements this for me, though, is how his father used Max.

I have four stepsisters who I love dearly. They’re my sisters as much as the ones I have who are blood related. However, we did not have the easiest relationship growing up, mostly because our parents manipulated us into seeing ourselves as extensions of my father’s first and second wives and therefore natural adversaries. They did this because if we stood together against them, their control would slip. And I see this very much in Billy’s relationship with Max. His father has placed him in a role of semi-parental responsibility to her, something Billy clearly resents. Max often defies his authority, and this clash between them serves to make their relationship bitter. Billy is a bucket of fried assholes to Max, clearly, and she doesn’t deserve it, but I don’t see his behavior towards her as coming entirely from himself. Given the fact that Neil uses Max as an excuse to push Billy around and make him cancel his plans, making Billy see Max as an extended instrument of his abuse, it’s pretty clear to me that Neil is driving a wedge between them on purpose.

Because here is the thing: as a child abuse survivor, you are counting down the days. High school graduation, college admissions, turning 18, that military recruitment date - as you get into your mid-teens, there’s something you see as an out. It’s the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s a rope you’re holding onto with both hands. It’s something you absolutely are keeping secret from your abuser, or if they must know, it’s something you frame so it seems like their achievement, something you did because of them. Season 2 Billy is clearly fast approaching that date, whatever it is for him, and that date? It means he’s out from under Neil’s thumb. And being out of their control is the worst case scenario for abusers. If Max and Billy have an alliance against Neil, much more things can get done under his nose to try and get Billy out of that house. And Neil probably knows it.

To my mind, Neil is all about control. Even in his physical abuse scene, he slaps Billy and pushes him up against things - nothing likely to leave suspicious marks. Clearly he knows his son is often shirtless or otherwise unclothed. The type of physical abuse he engages in isn’t a loss of control on his part at all. He wants to make it seem like it is, like Billy made him lose control with his “bad” behavior, but he goes into Billy’s space, so that anything broken will be his. He uses his physicality, but only to an extent. He never crosses a line that would have anyone asking any questions. He doesn’t do anything “bad enough” that his watching wife, who clearly doesn’t approve, would feel she’s forced to intervene. (Although I have a whole essay on The Narrative Role Of Susan, that’s not for today.) And, most notably to me, he stays away from any windows. To me, these are all signs that Neil is perfectly in control, just choosing to make Billy believe he isn’t.

The other thing about Neil and that scene - he clearly wants to make Billy believe that he is at fault. That there’s some imaginary standard he can reach where his behavior will be satisfactory enough that he won’t suffer his father’s wrath. That, somehow, what Neil does to him are the consequences of Billy’s actions. In reality, of course, that’s just not true, but it is a classic abuse technique. If an abuse victim truly believes that what they’re trapped in is a no-win scenario, then most of the time, they figure what’s the point in trying, and stop engaging completely with what the abuser wants. And that kind of behavior is a loss to the abuser. So they have to make their victim believe that there is something they can do to “fix” things, therefore putting the onus of the abusive behavior on their shoulders as well. The fact that Neil talks about standards of behavior Billy is expected to meet - the classic “respect and responsibility” is proof to me that that’s what his intent is with that scene.

So, is the physical abuse Billy endures from his father horrible? Yes, absolutely, and no child should be treated like that. But as far as I’m concerned, it’s the symptom of something larger - the control his father tries to exert over many aspects of his life - rather than the absolute worst part of what he suffers. And when I see his abuse reduced in fiction to primarily the physical, it feels... like a reduction of what canon gives us. The Billy I see depicted in fic sometimes has experiences that I have trouble relating to at all, as opposed to the Billy onscreen.

And again, I understand why people depict his experiences that way. I’m not trying to be an asshole, just speaking to my personal experiences. But I’d like to see a little more truth in television, so to speak, about his abuse.

If you’re interested in writing more realistic abusive characters, a book I can’t recommend enough is Lundy Bancroft’s Why Does He Do That, a book written by a therapist who’s made a career of treating both abusers in the hopes of making them no longer abusers as well as domestic violence victims. It’s a difficult read, and intended as a self-help book for domestic violence survivors, but it digs deep into why exactly abusers act the way they do. It’s often available as a free pdf online - I’ve seen several links floating around on tumblr.

[amostimprobabledream]

My thoughts on Peaky Blinders...

Now I’ve finished Season Five, I wanted to get out my thoughts/ideas/opinions regarding the show. So strap in! - So first of all, the fucking cinematopgraphy in this series is gorgeous. You could take almost any scene and it looks like a painting. The lighting, the way it’s staged, it’s all just so visually pleasing to look at. My inner film student was just sighing dreamily at the shot composition. There’s a shot of John, Arthur and Tommy walking somewhere and you could fucking frame it and put it in your wall. - CILLIAN MURPHY, CILLIAN MURPHY, CILLIAN MURPHY. I mean, I always knew he was a good actor and also a pretty one, I think the role I remember him best in is Batman Begins, but holy shit, I never realised how hot he is until like two months ago. I know he apparently hates his Tommy haircut, but good lord, he can pull it off. The cheekbones! The eyes! The eyelashes! The sexy voice! Needless to say I saw him and immediately developed the biggest fucking crush. Apparently when I talk about Tommy to people my face goes pink. Thank you so much, show, for enlightening me to this human. Tommy is such a fantastic character, and I do wonder if another actor could pull him off quite as well. So much debate over his actions, motives, mindset, etc. I could probably write essays about the complexities of Tommy, but I won’t because this is a long-ass post anyway. He’s such a boss and I would die for him. - I actually really like Arthur??? So the very first clip of PB I ever saw was accidental, when I happened to turn the TV on and the Blinders were taking over the Eden Club and Arthur was glassing a guy in the face. I thought, “Oh, he’s probably like the dangerous thug character everyone is scared of.” (I didn’t know he’s Tommy’s brother at the time.) But actually he’s kind of endearing despite being the Shelby’s pitbull? Idk, the concept of the “failure” elder brother, how Arthur is the character the verbalises PTSD the most out of everyone, how one minute he can be lashing out like a rabid bear and then sobbing like a kid the next... I’m always like, “Oh, Arthur,” because you can see he wants to be a better person, but he just...doesn’t know how. - JOOOHN. I miss him! And it’s weird because in the early parts of the Season John doesn’t DO much but tag around after Tommy and Arthur, but his marriage to Esme is actually So Good and again, he’s actually kind of a softboi under the hard gangster act. (Also his “Do THIS, John, Do THAT, John, KILL YOUR FOOKIN’ TEACHER, JOHN!” is so fucking good.) He kind of provides a lightness when contrasted to Tommy and Arthur that I really do miss, because the last two Seasons have been very grim and I think John’s absence has something to do with it. I liked Esme too, even if she’s a stroppy bitch, her love for John but resentment of her role in the family and also she’s HELLA PRETTY. I’m sad her character has gone for now, but at least she wasn’t killed off. - I also love Ada a lot - I was really shocked when I read that Sophie Rundle hasn’t been acting all that long before she got the part in PB, because honestly she’s very good! And her concept again is a fun one - the only girl in a family of violent gangster boys. (Or as Freddy puts it, “The only princess”, which she is.) Having said that, I’m not sure how I feel about Ada’s character arc over the course of the season. In One she came off as kind of childish and still sort of stuck in her Rebellious Teen phase, then she became a mother and Freddie died, then in Season Two she’s trying to distance herself from the family and go legit, then in Season Four and Five she’s helping run the business and taking money from Tommy. Idk, I wish she’d play a more major role like her brothers because her motivations seem to change based on what the screenwriter wants, not what feels natural for her. Plus it annoys me that Ada blamed Ben Younger’s death on Tommy, but Tommy gets a lot of blame for things that aren’t his fault so I guess he’s used to it. Still, Ada is still a lot of fun when she does get to play a big role and gets some great lines later on. “Tommy Shelby is going to stop a revolution with his cock.” - POLLY, MY QUEEN! Easily the best woman on the show (sorry, Ada) and such a fucking badass. She’s definitely the voice of reason within the family and conflicting loyalty is a really interesting theme that gets explored with her, between her arguing nephews and niece, between her family or whether she wants to marry again and leave, her relationship with Michael, it’s all so great. Helen McRory is such a brilliant addition to the show. Also I love that Polly kinda represents women taking over after all the men went away to war and now they’re back, but the women aren’t just going to creep back into the house - World War One changed the workplace forever for women and I think Polly being the second in command after Tommy reflects that really well. - I think overall my favourite seasons have been Seasons One, Two and Four, I tend to find I get a bit bored in Peaky Blinders whenever it gets especially heavy on politics like in Season Three and Five and I admittedly kind of miss the simplicity of the early days of the show when it was about horse-racing, but the Changretta vs Shelby feud was genuinely really gripping and Adrien Brody was also Very Good. (I mean, I couldn’t take him seriously because of Brodyquest, but I like him a lot.) - I HATE GRACE. There, I said it. And honestly I have SO MUCH to say on why I hate her and also why I think she is the epitome of bad writing that has happened on this show that I might as well save it for a whole nother post, but Tommy and Grace’s relationship always felt so unnatural and forced to me, like they are in love because the screenwriter said so - Grace is the only woman Tommy knows who isn’t related to him and also because it pisses off Campbell. Like, she was tolerable if highly irritating in Season One, but then Two came along and she just got worse and worse. She’s annoyingly convinced she’s better than everyone else, pulls off a LOT of questionable shit that NO-ONE except Polly ever pulls her up on and Tommy repeatedly pining over a woman who lied to him and betrayed him makes no goddamn sense. I wish Stephen Knight would just let him get over her, because her showing up over and over again in the show after the bitch died two Seasons ago is so infuriating I want to throw my remote at the TV. The best bit of Season Three was someone finally putting a bullet in her, honestly. /rant - On that note, I really wish that they’d use May properly. She was introduced in Season Two and honestly her chemistry with Tommy is about a thousand times more believable than anything he had with Guuuhrayce and also May doesn’t consistently talk in that annoying, breathy voice and also she doesn’t shamelessly manipulate Tommy constantly. It’s too bad Stephen Knight couldn’t get Charlotte Riley back for Season Three owing to her pregnancy, because I think the trajectory of the show would have been very different. But her scene where she spoke about her husband and tried to hide that she was crying? So good. The fucking Face Tommy gives her when she asks for a mixer in her gin? Priceless. Agh - May’s been chronically underused in the show but she keeps getting mentioned every now and then, so I’m hoping there are plans for her to come back in Season Six. I really like her and I honestly think Tommy/May has been the best relationship he’s had, because it’s the only one that’s felt A) Natural and B) Equal. - Lizzie Stark. Okay, so I have mixed feelings about Lizzie. I liked her in Seasons One and Two, because she was this down-on-her-luck woman who was treated like crap by everyone, but she wasn’t wholly without her own flaws or personality - she did lie to John and Tommy did act in his brother’s best interests to tell him the truth. The scenes she had with Tommy in Season Two when he promotes her to his secretary were honestly very cute and my heart broke for her when that solider nearly (?) raped her in Season Two and she cried in John’s arms. But over time she’s started to irritate me. I know that people feel bad for her because Tommy honestly does treat her badly at times, though other times she’s also one of the few people he’s nice to, their relationship is complicated. But truthfully I don’t see Tommy/Lizzie every working out properly because Lizzie was a whore. She’s always been Tommy’s inferior and while I do think he cares for her, she never seems to think it’s enough. He doesn’t love her enough and she’s never satisfied with it and she’s always resentful of him. But you can’t FORCE someone to love you and it’s interesting that the minute she learned she was pregnant, you could see her thinking of how to make this work. She pulled the Baby Trap on him just like Grace did and got married like she wanted, but Tommy still doesn’t truly see her as his equal. And honestly, I don’t think she’s smart enough for him. Add that to Lizzie being EXTREMELY petty to other women (including her being really rude to May and slut-shaming her - bit rich from you, isn’t it, Lizzie?), and I don’t think they have a healthy relationship. I do like little Ruby a lot (way more than Charles, who is a spoiled brat because he’s Grace’s son and has a martyred dead mummy), but honestly I don’t see Tommy/Lizzie working out. I just hope that she doesn’t leave and take Ruby, I think it’d break Tommy to have his daughter taken away from him. - Alfie Solomons. So...I have to confess I have mixed feelings about Alfie. I liked him in Season Two because he’s batshit crazy, Tom Hardy is clearly having the time of his life and it’s refreshing to have a rival to Tommy who isn’t cartoonishly evil like Billy Kimber or Sabini. He ties into Season Two very well and yeah, I can see why he’s so popular. Also he’s pretty attractive, so that always helps. But. Alfie is starting to come across a bit like a creator’s pet to me. He consistently betrays Tommy every goddamn Season and while I know the fandom love to joke about this, it’s pretty inexplicable that Tommy would bother to continue to do business with him after being burned so many times and now it turns out he’s alive. Why? Why bring Alfie back? I feel like he was brought back because he’s a fan favourite and to add another suspect to who betrayed Tommy. I don’t hate Alfie at all, but I am starting to wish he’d face actual consequences for his actions, considering every Peaky Blinders character who fucks with the Peaky Blinders tend to suffer horribly for it, but not Alfie...for some reason. - Michael. Okay so Michael’s actor is pretty damn good and I thought it was cute that he and John’s actors are actually brother irl - you can see the resemblance. And honestly bringing back Polly’s missing kids was a really clever idea because there’s a family tie, but one that isn’t so strong you can always be sure of where his loyalties lie. His subplot with Father Hughes in Season Three was both very sad and very well done - I was cheering him on the whole way. But Season Five has made my opinion of Michael take a dramatic nosedive. He’s gone from sorta-sympathetic to an entitled brat almost overnight. I get he’s probably salty about being banished to America by Tommy in Season Four, but where has this sudden desire to rule the company come from? How did he meet Gina? Is he lying about Gina being pregnant because he figured it’d win him sympathy? I don’t know. He’s changed so drastically, and when Polly gave him that slap, I think she was doing what everyone wanted to. It’s too bad they just wrote Anna off as being dead, though, Michael having a sister and Polly a daughter would have been interesting. - The music?? Is so good?? I love it! Especially the themesong, obviously, but so much of it is always ON POINT. It makes me wanna buy the entire soundtrack. - Unpopular opinion, but I think Campbell was the best antagonist of the show, mainly because he was a vile person but still believable and had the best dynamic with Tommy.  - Season Five was honestly kind of hit-and-miss for me, it seemed like a lot of people are pissed at Tommy for fairly silly reasons in the beginning and I just didn’t find the political subplot all that interesting...but I still will definitely tune into Season Six. (Also these are all just opinions, so please don’t send me hate if you don’t like something I’ve said. Ain’t nobody got time for that.)

[littlewastelander]

*cracks knuckles* It's time.

I subscribe to @sniperdadmaccready's theory in the replies:

I kind of have to wonder if part of it is resentment that a kid raised in a Vault is getting something handed to him despite his own stupidity being the cause of his illness. MacCready had to work for everything he has and didn't have an easy childhood (to say the least) so I have a working theory that it's less about who is getting the cure and more about general resentment towards Sheltered Vault Dwellers who get everything easily.

Mac's whole thing is "you look out for yourself" - he approves of nearly all the selfish actions sole can make. He respects you for making choices that benefit you above all else. You decide to help someone for free? He doesn't get it because everything is an exchange to him, and you're seemingly risking yourself for nothing in return (everyone usually pays you anyways, but what matters is that you didn't know you were going to be paid). So, he's not one to approve of altruistic actions in general.

He only cares about his and Duncan's survival. That's it. Sole is added to that list once you become close enough, but he frankly doesn't care about anyone else. He wouldn't care if the whole Commonwealth went up in flames as long as he and the people closest to him are okay. First and foremost, he's a survivor. When he was kicked out of Little Lamplight as a teen, he was suddenly entirely on his own. He went from having a whole community to depend on to having no one. Being selfish, only looking out for himself - it's the only way he was able to survive. At some point, he met Lucy and had Duncan, and his inner circle grew but the same rules applied. He's still in this mindset when he meets sole.

Naturally, he does have a soft spot for kids and families (e.g., Billy, Warwick Homestead), but that isn't enough to make him sympathetic in this case because he thinks Austin did this to himself. He was a dumbass kid who went exploring in a dangerous secret vault alone and got himself bitten by a molerat. Boo fucking hoo. Fuck around and find out. You know who wouldn't have done something so stupid as a kid? MacCready.

He consistently struggles to empathize with people who grew up safe/sheltered because he's had to fight to survive his entire life. He sees people in Vault 81 and Diamond City as being so incredibly privileged to have lived a safe life, that he cannot possibly feel bad for them when they fuck up or need help. I think it's also why he has zero respect for Travis and dislikes when you try to encourage him during Confidence Man. It's a slap in the face for this guy to be coddled by you when he's never known real danger like Mac has his entire life. Like, Travis has it so good living inside the walls and he's scared? Of... everything? It's an insult for him to be so oblivious to his privilege.

Anyways, this kid gets himself a fatal disease - something that could've been prevented entirely by not being dumb (unlike in Duncan's case) - and now you and him are gonna go risk your asses to find him a cure? It's not your/his responsibility. Sure, it's tragic this kid will die, but it's not his problem. It's not worth risking himself for. So when you drag him into danger to get the cure anyways, he feels like you/he earned it, not Austin. He says something like: "You're just gonna give that away after all that?" Assuming you didn't get the disease too, the only other thing to do would be to sell it. It would be a pretty fucked up thing to do, but it's in line with how he sees everything as a transaction. The buyer could be the people in Vault 81 or someone else, it doesn't matter - he just wants to get paid for doing the work. Giving it away for free is something he just can't fathom.

So, MacCready disliked that.

Okay so I have a question.

I’ve recently been playing Fallout 4 and I’m doing the quest in Vault 81, the one where you have to get the cure for Austin. I have MacCready with me and I assumed, when I give Austin the cure, he’ll approve. And then this son of a basket weaver goes and dislikes it!

Why? This is basically the same situation with Duncan, isn’t it? Why does he dislike it? This man is going to drive me f*cking insane! I thought I knew what he liked but now I have no damn clue.

Will someone please help this make sense?

[ottorocket808]

Chapter Nine: The Gate

Ahhh!!! Their reunion is so fuckin cute and sweet and here comes Hop to fuck it all up. What would give you the indication that he would be mad at El? She wanted to see him she did go see him and you threw a fucking hissy fit. YOU got in the way all he wanted was to know she was safe he would’ve done anything to know that she was alive. I’d be pissed at him too you let me believe she was dead for a year and you want me to understand?

Aww group hug!!! She noticed Dustin’s teeth! No more purring Dustin we do this in the mirror before a date or dance. Skip Max not sure if that was leftover from seeing them at school or because she doesn’t already know her. Joyce with that motherly love she’s been lacking. You already know she’ll let you see him you saved his life. We have our final puzzle piece to close the gate.

Karen... why did you answer the door like that? Billy stop flirting with married women that’s how you get shot! I always hate that line obviously older woman I didn’t know so and so had an older sister heheh lame ass line Karen you thought he was here for Nancy meaning that you can tell he’s young control your hormones. Todd only pays bills there he can’t be slangin pipe with any type of accuracy if she’s being this obvious with a child.

Now ain’t the time Dustin. STOP UNDERESTIMATING HER!! She destroyed your cabin without even trying she’s the one who opened the gate in the first place if anybody can close it it’s El. It’s interesting that it took this long to connect that dot

Fuck you mean you not leaving Mike?! You did it earlier for a day and a half and before anybody says anything about her not knowing she didn’t even ask. Steve you were never a shit boyfriend she played with your heart because she didn’t want to be alone if she couldn’t have Jonathan and she should’ve said something to that effect instead of letting you feel like it was you.

Dammit Hop can’t you let these kids be cute together for a minute without you interrupting?!

Yup that mild coronary you’re having because she hitchhiked home you deserve but you can tell that she learned and grew a lot since she left she needed to leave regardless because of what happened while she was gone. I get it Hop but if you hold too tightly you’ll kill her spirit and she’ll resent you instead of loving the safety you provide.

Bitchin’

Dammit Dustin we just wasting good food? After all this if they just set it on fire I’d be pissed. That thing is stupid slimy it sounds disgusting.

Just let him pace in peace he literally just found out she’s alive and now she’s tossing herself back into the fray with hundreds of Demodogs runnin loose anybody would be worried especially when you have to sit on your hands and hope that everything goes ok.

This is the start of a trend with Max that pisses me off El isn’t a pack mule or a work horse yes she’s strong as shit but she bleeds just like the rest of us backup and assistance ain’t ever been a bad thing when fighting a war.

It ain’t a fact until it happens. Here comes Billy!! ‘If he finds out I’m here he’ll kill me, he’ll kill us.’ Proceeds to post up in the window where he can clearly see her?! The sucker punch was a bitch move Hargrove.

I’m pretty sure that part of the reason that he doesn’t want Lucas around Max is that it’s hard to control someone with friends if I know you have nowhere to go you won’t sneak out and if she does it’d be to the arcade which is probably closed by now so she’d be on her way back if she wasn’t here. Will he actually strike her is my question he says he’ll kill her will he really? Or is she just being dramatic not wanting to get in trouble for sneaking out?

Another trend is that they don’t help each other literally one has to be being beaten half death before anybody moves to help.

It really seems like the hype of Steve got to Billy way more than Steve himself did. I’ve never heard Steve refer to himself as King Steve other people do that. Screaming that Billy’s gonna kill him is so far from helpful it’s painful. How much of that shit is lethal she could kill him. It doesn’t really work like that Max if his dad says come get you because you snuck out of the house again he has to collect. What the hell is Billy supposed to tell Neil when he finally wakes up? His dad doesn’t seem like the type to accept failure.

Ok isn’t the word I would use determined is better.

I would freak the fuck out too she’s 13 and driving a car with me in it while not actually knowing where she’s going and speeding down a dark road with a box on the gas pedal because she can’t actually reach it.

That high pitched scream was for sure Lucas.

They’re heating the woods around the house too because the windows need replacing because Hop made a El cry like a big ass bully.

Well Steve he has a point.

Mama Steve makes a good point too.

It kinda pissed me off seeing Hop out El to the Doc at the drop of a hat he could forge a birth certificate and drag her to another lab and it would be his fault for trusting the wrong person.

The inflammed Butt Hole strikes again people should really stop shining light at it. How did it get in your mouth past your mask? Where the hell did they get this equipment??

Jonathan would let The MindFlayer live in his brother indefinitely Joyce wants it out and she wants it out now. Jonathan doesn’t have a do whatever it takes mindset and he would’ve messed everything up. He was quick to turn that heater down but Joyce is currently being choked and I hear him say ‘mom!’ But see no hands entering the frame to help her.

We will never speak of this Mama Steve.

In an interesting twist Nancy saves his moms life. I wonder if Will has a scar because of that. So nobody wondered where the inter dimensional blac smoke went?

RUN BABIES AND MAMA STEVE RUNNNNNN!!!! Protect your baby Mama Steve!

It’s like they don’t even realize they’re there maybe it’s a priority thing El is the more pressing threat so even though they’re in pain gotta stop her.

She’s damn near face to face with it and even though she’s disintegrating his tentacle he’s still trying to take her over and stop her. Even though a lot of people didn’t like The Lost Sister Chapter it helped El to boost her power using her own pain and anger therefore helping her close this massive gate my baby is growing up and she’s so strong I’m so proud.

Sweet El/Hop moment I still don’t like him but he means a lot to her.

Hawkins lab is closed but vulnerable. Again if this was real Nancy would’ve destroyed her entire family. But it’s a plot line so I let it go.

Hey Hop her name is Jane Ives you didn’t actually adopt her this still really feels like kidnapping.

Aww it’s Snowball time

Will learning to dance is adorable, I don’t think Mike will ever like forced pictures, Lucas is gonna toss Erica out the window and Max looks cute Billy looks kind of lost he needs to learn proper communication gotta get that hair right Dustin.

Steve is the big brother we all wish we had. Dustin is a dork and I love him. Don’t be talking about my baby’s Steve inspired mullet. She enjoys torturing this boy. I don’t think calling someone Zombie Boy is a good way to show interest Will looked scared and he’s been to The Upside Down. I still wanna fight these girls he’s a sweet kid a bit of a dork but he is a good guy and they made him cry. This is the best thing Nancy does all season. ‘Girls this age are dumb.’ You led your 1st boyfriend on for a year still dumb.

Hardcore RIP BOB moment.

This song is so damn creepy. They are like puppies in love it’s adorable look at them go ah it’s so sweet. And now I’m pretty sure the creepy song is for The MindFlayer being gigantically creepy in The Upside Down.

[geneshaven]

The Distance Between Two Hearts

I had some requests to add to this story. I thought, in the spirit of the title, to bring Felicity’s perspective into the story; the second heart at a distance.

 Part 2

Felicity came awake and looked up at the ceiling of the bedroom she would never think of as her own.  It was decorated in a protective custody motif, with barren walls sporting a Spartan look and sparse furnishing without a personal touch. Her clothes were still in her suitcases. She did not want to use the dresser provided. It would make her feel that her and William’s relocation was accepted, and Felicity would never be accepting of her family’s separation, of Oliver not sharing their lives together.

Everything still seemed like a nightmare to her. The helplessness she felt surging through her heart and mind when Oliver was taken away from her was almost unbearable.  She knew she had to be strong for William, but who was being strong for her? She could still hear Oliver telling her that she was not helpless, ever. He also told her that he would always come back. The anger she had been holding back for the past two months threatened to break to the surface and Felicity could not risk losing herself in it. She was responsible for William now and it would not do either one of them any good if she went on a rampage. Oliver was her husband and she loved him with everything that made her who she was, but sometimes the man could be insufferable.

Oliver’s decision to turn himself in to ensure those he loved and cared about stayed safe and free was the last direction she would have gone in if he had not been so secular and brought her into a choice that would alter their lives on such a large scale. He looked so defeated when Agent Watson took him away in handcuffs. After Quentin died and Sara was in need of comfort, Felicity could only watch as Oliver walked away from his life. There was a part of her that wanted to shout out an order to the rest of the team standing in the hospital room to engage Watson and her back-up. John and the rest of them would have felt the same way she did. It would have been easy for them to dispatch the Federal officers and make off with Oliver. but he had expressed to her that he did not want to make his wife and son fugitives. Felicity sometimes felt that their whole crusade in saving the city had put them in that category. All of them had already committed multiple felonies over the years and hiding in plain sight was still hiding. It was frustrating that Oliver would and could not ever be acknowledged for the sacrifices he made, for the sacrifices they all made.  He would not ever be recognized, nor would the rest of the Team, as being heroes. Felicity always understood why they could not come out of the confining darkness of the Bunker and into the light of accomplishment. Every time they defeated the bad guys, their victories was kept secret, as if putting them into an old photo album to be forgotten.

But Oliver changed all that when he made yet another decision without her by telling the world who he really was. It felt like it made their crusade obsolete. Felicity’s anger deepened at the disruption Oliver brought to their lives.  How could he ever think, and why would he ever let his family drift away from him after everything he has done to make things in his past right? Did he not remember that Felicity has been by his side for all these years, encouraging him and correcting him when his all or nothing tendencies were not good choices? She could run off a massive list of all those choices---leaving the city after the Undertaking, being so ready to give his life after Slade killed Moira and took another chuck of Oliver’s soul, pushing her away from love and happiness after that restaurant blew up their first date, facing Ra’s on that mountaintop and almost dying, Darkhe and all his evil, losing Felicity and then Laurel and drifting back into his self-loathing attitude. Chase and his psychotic existence. Oliver’s decision to shut everything down after being tortured and led to believe that he was indeed the monster he feared living inside him for so long. The list could go on and on, but Felicity had never wavered in her belief in her man.She kept by his side despite all of his bone head choices.

This last choice he made was the biggest and most devastating, putting all those other ones to shame. Felicity still felt the fear in her after Oliver gave her the sudden realization of what he had done by surrendering to Watson. She just could not believe that Oliver, the man who always vowed to find another way, would so easily put himself out of reach. Maybe he thought that his failures outweighed his good deeds, that prison was a penance for his sins. John had been in that same mindset after he killed Andy and thought he deserved to be punished. Oliver once again risked his life to remedy that wrong choice he thought John was making. Felicity was still inside her own regrets at the time, with walking away from Oliver and starting her relationship with Billy. She would have been on that mission if not for her own bad decisions. But Oliver had made John a fugitive after rescuing him from that military prison. Felicity couldn’t help feel the hypocrisy in the situation when Oliver said to her he did not want to put her and William in the same situation.

Felicity continued to lay in her lonely bed and she could feel another binge of fury wanting to take her over. How could her husband, the man she threw her lot in with and embraced a final happiness with him, how could he so readily take that away from each of their lives? It wasn’t noble or brave.  He wasn’t ensuring Felicity and William’ safety---he was giving up his freedom on the false assumption that he deserved his incarceration. There was no more tactical advantage, no reason to come up with a brilliant plan to save all of them. Yes, she had cried for him in that holding room, but what she really wanted to do was beat on his chest  and convince him that giving up his family was the same thought process when he tried to surrender to Slade all those years ago. She wanted to remind him that there were still worthy and valuable people in his life worth fighting for.

Why hasn’t he sent me any letters? Was he so far gone in regret that anything he had to say was null and void? The lack of communication he was showing was really his guilt telling him that he did not deserve Felicity as his wife or William as his son. Felicity was sure of this, just as sure as him declining the monitored visitation rights at the prison. It made Felicity crazy thinking that Oliver denied himself any kind of reminder of what he gave up. She had sent him a stack of letters, mostly confusing writings about what he had set in motion. By living in protective custody, Felicity was not able to come out in the open and continue the building of her company.She had no place she could go and try to restart her life without Oliver and the publicity his admission brought. She had to admit there was some resentment towards Oliver for his dismissal of everything they had been dreaming and planning for. But still, a part of her had already forgiven him his reckless abandonment. That was solidified one crazy night in the steam tunnels below the Bunker.  

She wanted to scream, but was afraid that once she started, it would become impossible to stop. She had to stay strong for William and for herself. Oliver made his choice and now Felicity had to make similar hard choices. There was an optimistic part of her that still clutched onto the possibility that Oliver would come to his senses and start fighting for her and his son. He could shake loose from his crippling shame and guilt and have another epiphany, the same kind he had when he came back from the island six years ago and set his, and hers, life in motion.

She still wanted to beat and rail on Oliver for being such a goddamn martyr.

Instead, Felicity turned back over in her bed and fell into her lonely nightmares. It wasn’t as if she had anything pressing to get up for.

@memcjo @it-was-a-red-heeler @almondblossomme @hope-for-olicity @melolicity @bandanab310 @gabriellamarie97 @swordandarrow @mylittlesimba @1106angel @wordslovedreams @lageniuswannabe @candykizzes24 @certainmentalityface

[avalonbayblog]

Availey Encyclopedia  Part 3 - Avalon Relationships

So, here’s part 3 with all the friendship/relationships Avalon has within the Avalon and Bailey series. There are spoilers in this, so you’ve been warned. But it’s a way to get an idea of my thought process when writing all their interactions with each other. Some of these haven’t been seen, hence the spoiler alert, for many reasons. Some of which I haven’t gotten around to writing yet, others being that I had to cut it out later.

I may have missed some people I need to go back and add later so keep checking back. Also, the ‘possibilities of relationships’ part doesn’t mean just romantic, but friendship and familiar relationships as well. So, click on ‘keep reading’ and check it out.

Tommy: Tommy and Avalon don’t interact much when the series starts outside of being rangers. Tommy is the leader, Avalon is new, and she goes along with whatever he says because, why not? But he’s the first of the rangers that Avalon trusts as she willingly lets him watch Bailey after school one day. Because of what they experience that day, Tommy and Bailey grow very close and Avalon continues to believe he won’t let anything happen to her. That friendship continues to grow all the while Tommy does become one of Avalon’s good friends. They continued not to interact much outside of being rangers and that’s just fine with Avalon. She makes fun of him and Kimberly with their relationship though is secretly envious of how obviously in love they are, wanting that for herself. Eventually, Tommy’s parents adopt Avalon and Bailey, making them his adoptive sisters. Tommy and Avalon are still fairly distant as it is obvious that Tommy prefers Bailey of the two, but they end up growing closer through their tenure as rangers. She becomes his second in command as a ranger throughout Zeo and Turbo, after Kimberly is this in season 2 (and Jason, Zack, and Trini leave) and Billy is in season 3. As they grow older, Tommy and Avalon grow closer and end up in a very teasing relationship (as seen in my unpublished Forever Red short story) which then carries on into Dino Thunder’s New Beginning where they work together as mentors for the new ranger team and side-by-side when dealing with their parents’ deaths.

Possibility of relationship: 0/10. Absolutely not. Though as I’ve mentioned many times as a fun fact, my original plan was to have them together. But as time went on, I realized it wouldn’t work. Yes, I make Tommy (and all the other rangers/characters) more realistic within my stories as I wanted to age up the content a bit, but he’s still a bit too good for her. His constant need to protect her and to get her to do what’s right will very seriously and quickly get on her nerves. She’d lash back at him, they’d exchange some heated words and it’d all be very toxic.

Kimberly: Kimberly appoints herself as the ‘welcoming committee’ (haven’t seen an OC fanfic without this sort of thing, lol) and is the first to go and greet Avalon, stating she’s new to school and probably needs some friends. Kimberly’s perkiness and choice of bright color to wear immediately gets on Avalon’s nerves. Not because Avalon truthfully feels antagonistic in any way, but because of how obviously different their lives are. Kimberly is a cheerleader, pretty popular, girly, loves to shop, and is rich. Everything that Av was growing to be back when she was in Australia (minus the cheerleading, absolute girliness, and the color pink). Despite her issues with her father, Avalon was very happy and popular amongst her friends. She very quickly appoints Kimberly with the nickname ‘Pinkerbell’ (it’s not revealed until much later that Avalon gives all the people she deems trustworthy or a friend a nickname) to tease her about her personality. The two have a very snarky relationship with each other, mostly with Avalon towards Kimberly, but it’s obvious the two are best friends once Avalon apologizes for the Vipers breaking into and robbing Kimberly’s house with Kimberly unquestionably forgiving her. Avalon takes it hard when Kimberly leaves the team, almost resenting Kat, who then becomes the pink ranger, despite the newcomers’ similar backgrounds. The girls are always there for each other emotionally and can talk about anything, considering each other their safe space.

Possibility of relationship: 5/10. Avalon is bisexual, has dated girls, and finds Kimberly to be interesting despite her need to be so happy and perky at the crack of dawn. Too bad Kimberly is completely straight. Of course, Avalon ends up having feelings for her at some point, hence why she takes it so hard when Kimberly leaves the team, almost as a personal offense. The two are very close friends and have a lot in common; their wealth (or Avalon’s previous wealth), shopping, having fun (though their definitions of fun are different), having a big heart (also show in different ways), wanting nothing more than for their friends to be happy, and are loyal. A relationship between them would actually be very cute with the two supporting each other through everything but continuing to trade sarcastic insults the entire way.

Trini: Trini and Avalon do have a friendly relationship, with Trini being so patient with Avalon and her misgivings since they met. She always gave Avalon the benefit of the doubt despite Avalon’s repeated attempts to get the rangers to leave her alone. Then, when Avalon notices that Billy and Trini like each other, Avalon quickly starts to push the two together. Trini and Avalon don’t hang out one on one as much as Avalon and Kimberly do, but Avalon is very fond of her calm natured friend, who she names ‘Sunny’ for her positive and cheerful disposition.

Possibility of relationship: 3/10. It’s possible, if Trini weren’t straight, though is lower than Kimberly and Avalon, simply because Avalon is wary of dating someone she ‘stole’ the boyfriend of. Avalon liked Billy, truthfully, since she first met him, but could see he had a thing for Trini and Trini for him. (As of now, as I enjoy writing Jason/Trini as well, I’m unsure of how that would fit into the timeline of everything). So much so that she felt a bit of guilt for dating him, even after Trini left. Truthfully, as well, Trini knew as her time with the rangers was ending, that Avalon had feelings for Billy and vice versa. When she comes back for Billy’s mother’s funeral, she and Avalon have a very friendly moment with each other. Their relationship would be similar to Kimberly’s and Avalon’s, however, Trini being calm all the time would then get on Avalon’s nerves while Avalon’s consistent lack of handling her emotions would get to Trini.

Zack: Twinkle-Toes! 3 guesses as to why Avalon named him that.

Possibility of relationship: 1/10. They’d have a lot of fun together, but Zack is a bit too goofy for her and she’s a bit too serious for him. The two do have a good friendship that evolves since working on a project together with Billy. Zack starts to call her ‘Kid’ due to her stature and of looking at her like a sister. The two share the joy of wanting to have fun in life and are usually the first to suggest having a party or a gathering of some kind. Their friendship comes to a hear when Zack willingly gives up the use of his powers to defend her from the Vipers, which will, ultimately, down the line, land him in jail, which she blames herself for but he doesn’t blame her at all. Within Dino Thunder’s New Beginning it’s obvious they’ve grown much closer since they were teens.

Billy: Billy’s and Avalon’s friendship starts off nicely. As in, she is nice to him from the beginning, though he is a bit wary of her. They don’t interact much at the beginning other than their ranger duties, but she finds him interesting. Their shared lone wolf personalities and mindsets bring them together to enjoy each other’s company very much. He breaks through her cynicism while he continues to use her as a test subject over her increased ranger powers. (This will probably be retconned later as it made her a bit of a mary-sue and didn’t make much sense to the overall plot other than to tie into Lightspeed Rescue). To the point that he’s the first one she lets call her ‘Av’ while at the beginning she staunchly disliked anyone doing so. They have a very close friendship/relationship throughout their tenure as rangers, often coming to each other’s aide in battle.

Possibility of relationship: 10/10. Bias aside, of course. Not revealed until much later, Avalon likes Billy since she first laid eyes on him. What he doesn’t know if she she’s seen him any times around the park and the Youth Center before she meets him in school and was always intrigued by him. Nevertheless, he’s the first person she’s nice to, not teasing him or being sarcastic to him when they first meet though the other rangers end up receiving her wrath on more than one occasion since first meeting her. The two are very similar in their ‘lone wolf’ statuses and their knowledge about different parts of the world, he’s more intellectual and book smart while she’s more street smart. Her experiences with the Vipers ultimately ends up with her and Bailey moving into the Cranston house, which allows them to grow even closer. They become best friends fast, simultaneously knocking down the walls they each put up to protect themselves. She understands his intelligence and need to get the most out of knowledge, but also works to get him to have more fun in life. Billy, on the other hand, works to help her realize she’s not alone and that her constant dealings with the Vipers is only putting them all in danger. They’re safe spaces for each other, their attraction for each other starting off subtle throughout the series until the movie (which sits in between seasons 2 and 3 in my continuity) where they kiss and start to date. They date all the way until the end of Zeo (with big moments of them saying they love each other, fighting due to lack of communication, and Billy losing his virginity to her along the way) where they break up with Billy leaving to go to a Peace Conference and MIT afterwards. Avalon, though understanding, is heartbroken by this and continues to try to contact him, getting no response. She eventually moves her sights to Jason and dates him for a while. She does love Jason, but isn’t in love with him, and uses him as an emotional crutch and a rebound. For the next ten years, Billy and Avalon don’t talk, with Avalon’s hatred towards the blue ranger growing as each day passes until they meet up in Dino Thunder’s New Beginning as the MMPR team teams up with the DT team to stop Mesogog and the recently revived Rita, Zedd, Goldar, Rito, and Scorpina. When they meet up again, Avalon is furious, and they argue with Billy explaining why he couldn’t bring himself to call her and why Avalon is angry. At the end of her Dino Thunder tenure, where it’s obvious they still have feelings for each other, Avalon and Billy get back together, taking their relationship very slow.

Jason: Jason still acts as a leader despite Tommy’s being in that role. And something about that rubs Avalon the wrong way when she first meets him, quickly calling him ‘Rudolph’ for his affinity of wearing the color red. Nevertheless, Jason respects her, noticing what brings to the team, and it’s that respect he still holds for her, despite her issues with the Vipers. So much so that Jason works to get her out of the gang and to safety with the rest of the rangers, issuing his parents for help, going as far as to getting beaten up by the High-Flyers (The Viper’s rival gang) in retaliation for something the Vipers did to protect her. They eventually go to Prom together, where Avalon ditches the dance to get away from the Vipers, winds up being shot, and still apologizes to Jason for being a bad date. They’re very good friends despite Avalon’s constant teasing of him.

Possibility of relationship: 9/10. It’s very obvious they have romantic tension with each other since they first meet (bordering on sexual tension as they get older) and he’s one of the top contenders to be with Avalon. To the point that for a LONG time, I was stuck between her and Jason and her and Billy ultimately. (Remember that poll on my profile? Lol). Avalon is quickly annoyed by him when they first meet, which, actually, is her being annoyed by how much she is attracted to him. He’s so much of a perfect guy; All American, handsome, nice, sweet, caring, a leader, she can’t help but fall for him. But she knows she wouldn’t live up to who he is and what’d be good for him. So, she antagonizes him, which irritates her more when he continues to take it, only giving it back a few times. Jason is intrigued by her, but feels that his ranger duties comes first and he can’t jeopardize that. It’s not until they grow older (Zeo into Turbo) that he starts to reciprocate her feelings, simultaneously jeopardizing his relationship with Emily, until the two start dating after high school graduation and most of the way through Lighstpeed Rescue where they both agree they were rebounds for each other and while they did love each other, they aren’t in love. They never try their relationship again and generally don’t mention it until Forever Red, after which it is never mentions again.

The Vipers: Chase, Summer, Sky, and Lance are Avalon’s main antagonists throughout her time in Angel Grove since she arrived. They tricked her into being part of the Vipers under the lure of money she needed to keep herself and Bailey alive, thus making her fall deeper and deeper into their hijinks before going through the initiation of becoming a viper. She gets jumped in (beaten up) and a tattoo to signify this. She and Chase dated while she was part of the Vipers and while he was abusive to her (which didn’t manifest until later), she, in many ways, cares for him as he cares for her. Despite his need of her to be in the gang for things to work out, Chase knew the gang life was not for her and subtly, in many ways, tried to convince her of it, though still held a tight reign over her. So much so that he shows points of being protective over her, defending her from the other gang members even when dating Summer. He keeps her from getting arrested, turns himself in for her crimes, allows himself to be arrested and in New Beginning tells her that he still cares about her while giving her the information she needs to testify against him at the upcoming trial against their crimes. Summer is jealous of Avalon, knowing she used to date Chase, and Summer flaunts her relationship with him in the orange ranger’s face every time she gets the change. Skye is Chase’s righthand man and the one that initially instigates the beatings Avalon receives. He will do anything to help Chase and the Vipers. Lance is a Viper who is thrown in jail at the beginning of the story and isn’t seen much throughout the rest of the series.

Possibility of relationship: 5/10. They became a family to her despite their dysfunction. It’s hard for her to stay away from them—despite her desperation to leave them—because of their shared experiences and how much she cares for them in a very polarizing way.

Rocky: Rocky’s joking personality once taking Jason’s place as a ranger initially sets Avalon off. Not just because he doesn’t seem to be taking being a ranger seriously, but because he took Jason’s place and doesn’t take it too seriously. He sees it as a sort of game and it makes her angry. But as time goes on, he grows into being a red ranger and blue ranger she’s glad to have on the team. He works hard and improves very quickly, making her laugh and smile through all his antics and jokes. They tend to trade jokes and share their dislike of school despite Rocky’s good grades. Their younger siblings are close friends, bringing them around each other often.

Possibility of relationship: 1/10. They’d have fun, it wouldn’t last long; no more than two weeks. He’s too immature for her and she’s a too serious for him.

Adam: Adam and Avalon don’t interact much at the beginning as she is antagonistic to him. He understands it’s because he took Zack’s place as a ranger but works hard to be a good black ranger. Once coming out of his shell, Adam and Avalon are friendly, but they’re not best friends. They don’t tend to hang out one on one or go to confide in each other. Not to say they’re not friends, but they’re also aware if it weren’t for circumstances as a ranger, they may not be friends at all. Even so, they are friendly to each other and will help out when the time comes.

Possibility of relationship: 0/10. She’d eat him alive. At the beginning he’s much too soft spoken and shy for her. It certainly would not work out.

Aisha: Again, she’s startled by Avalon’s dislike of her at the beginning. She does nothing but try to be friendly to her and Avalon doesn’t give it back. Until Avalon has no choice but to do so. Then they become good friends with a shared love of shopping and fun. Aisha and Avalon don’t spend a lot of one-on-one time with each other as the yellow ranger is typically with the pink ranger and the orange ranger is typically with the blue and pink rangers. Rocky, Adam, and Aisha stick together in their own pod while Tommy, Billy, Kimberly, and Avalon stick with theirs. Aisha is the one who manages to bridge the gap between the two teams with her high energy that the others greatly enjoy partaking in.

Possibility of relationship: 3/10. Aisha’s feistiness would be a good match for Avalon, but Aisha and Rocky are so into each other that nothing could tear them apart. Not even Adam’s small crush on Aisha could. Aisha and Avalon don’t have too much in common for it to last.

Kat: While Avalon does hold some grief against the newest pink ranger for taking Kimberly’s place, the two get along for their shared backgrounds in Australia. The two of them come from Australia, Avalon from Canberra (still can’t remember if it’s that or Melbourne, lol) and Kat is from Sydney. Avalon excelled in surfing competitions that made her name around the country while Kat did the same with her diving until her accident. Kat and Avalon don’t talk much at the beginning of Kat’s tenure of being a ranger until one night Kat admits she feels homesick and shouldn’t be a ranger and Avalon comforts her, sharing her own experiences with her doubts of being a ranger. The two continue to bond over their shared history and Av is very supportive of her feelings for Tommy.

Possibility of relationship: 0/10. Kat is too ‘goody’ for Avalon. So much so that Avalon teases her about being good at everything and being so soft spoken. The pink Aussie only has eyes for Tommy.

Fred: Fred is her little sister’s best friend and love interest. Avalon likes Fred. They don’t interact much as ranger duties continue to get in the way, but she really does like him. He’s smart, funny, and is a good friend of the team. He helps out in the Command Center with Bailey until Bailey gets her own ranger powers, and Avalon trusts him with her sister. She sees him as a little brother long before he and Bailey work out their relationship.

Possibility of relationship: 0/10. He’s much too young for her and Bailey has dibs.

Bulk: One of her good friends. To the point that the rangers don’t understand why. She finds Bulk and Skull goofy, interesting, and entertaining. She stands up to Bulk when he pushes Skull too far and loves to watch him go through his plans of pranking the rangers and they backfire. They both have strong leadership capabilities that make them butt heads at times, but Bulk does find himself protecting her a bit.

Possibility of relationship: 0/10. Enough said.

Skull: Skull is Bulk’s right hand man and hangs out with Avalon when she’s not hanging out with the rangers. They have a lot of fun making up jokes to make each other laugh. Avalon doesn’t know Bulk and Skull used to bully the rangers, it never came up, though they still call the rangers dweebs and losers at times. She continues to hang out with them throughout her time in Angel Grove, finding them similar to the Vipers but much less harmless, and encourages them in every stage of their lives. Eventually, Skull names Avalon Spike’s godmother.

Possibility of relationship: 4/10. At the beginning, Skull was one of the people I thought of putting Avalon with. He’s only a bully when around Bulk and on his own is a very nice, sweet, charming, eccentric young man with many hidden talents. Avalon feels bad that Bulk orders him around and becomes friends with him one-on-one. They have similar interests in their means of having fun and his enthusiasm for life rubs off on her. If it weren’t for Sharkie and their baby Spike, they had a real possibility of working out.

Sharkie: The only other girl that hangs out with Bulk and Skull. They don’t spend much time together but lament at how stupid the boys can be.

Possibility of relationship: 0/10. She only has eyes for Skull.

Lt. Stone: He worked hard to get her out of the Vipers, using everything he knew to aid her. At the same time, he didn’t keep her above the law and ensured she stuck to her probation, her fines, and the community service she had sentenced to her once things with the Vipers came to an end. He’s very serious about his job, but has a bit of a soft spot for Avalon and Bailey considering the life they live because of her being in the Vipers.

Possibility of relationship: 1/10. She goes to him when she needs help, he works to keep her out of trouble. Otherwise, per his words, he doesn’t want to see her again because, if he did, she was in trouble.

Emily: Jason’s girlfriend and then later ex-girlfriend. Emily blames Avalon for Jason breaking up with her and Avalon feels guilty about it. They’re very similar in personality and background; Emily used to be part of a biker gang that terrorized Angel Grove, Jason was immediately attracted to her, and she’s very headstrong. Since meeting each other, Avalon and Emily were suspicious of each other, knowing of each other’s gangs. Things don’t go well from there.

Possibility of relationship: 0/10. They don’t like each other. Not just because of Jason, but because they’re very similar. Fun fact, I got inspired for Avalon off her, complete with her ranger color being orange. Hence why, they’re too similar to each other.

Tanya: Tanya is new to Angel Grove from an exchange student program with Aisha. While Avalon is said Aisha is gone, she likes Tanya from the beginning. It’s hard not to like her. She’s so positive and happy, even from moving from a new country, that it rubs off on others. Avalon understands her moving to a new country as well as gives comfort and advice when Shawn, who quickly claims Tanya as her own, starts to abuse her. Avalon threatens to kill Shawn, which Tanya is grateful for but assures her is not necessary. Tanya and Kat become best friends and while Avalon is friendly with her, they don’t hang out a lot.

Possibility of relationship: 0/10. She’s too naïve for Avalon and she very quickly falls for Adam, despite Shawn being her boyfriend.

Justin: The new blue ranger after Rocky leaves. Normally, Avalon would’ve been antagonistic to him, but this time Bailey is the one who’s angry about it. Avalon, having been a ranger so long, understands that sometimes these things happen. She wasn’t so happy when Bailey became a ranger but had to deal with it. She and Justin don’t interact other than when fighting monsters as rangers.

Possibility of relationship: 0/10. Too young for her.

Cassie, TJ, Ashley, Carlos: The new Turbo and, eventual, in Space Rangers. (I think they’re called Astro Rangers, actually). Avalon meets them when she and the rest of her friends are going on a graduation camping trip. They come to the ranger’s aid when the Pirrhanatrons and Divatox attack them. Their rushing straight into battle makes it so that they’re eligible to get the ranger’s powers when they transfer them over, aware they need to live out the rest of their lives (though Avalon kept her powers which eventually helps in Lightspeed Rescue). Avalon doesn’t interact with them since her time as a ranger ends and they come back in New Beginning to face their past enemies.

Possibility of relationship: 0/10.

Andros: She and Bailey don’t meet Andros until they and Jason return to Angel Grove within “Countdown to Destruction” to save Angel Grove from total destruction. They meet up again in “Forever Red” when she aids their red ranger mission, having once been a red ranger for a very, very brief amount of time. (Again, this is more than likely to be retconned).  They have a professional relationship with each other.

Possibility of relationship: 0/10.

Captain Mitchell: Avalon’s and Bailey’s father. Avalon has a polarizing relationship with him. She was daddy’s little girl until he became very militant in her expectation of her, not knowing he was doing it out of love and wanting to give her skills and values to make her a better person. However, it caused her to resent him, especially with her mother constantly making excuses for him. Their relationship is strained even further when she finds out that she and Bailey are the secret children of him and her mother after he cheated on his dying wife. When they return to Australia, where Captain Mitchell was stationed to work, Avalon tells him off for what he did to them, resulting in her hatred growing for years. It’s not until Lightspeed Rescue that their relationship moves in a more positive direction.

Possibility of relationship: 7/10. Her feeling for her father run hot and cold. She hates his guts but deep down still loves him. She hates that he relinquished his parental rights to her but at the same time loves him for later trying to get their familial relationship back together.

Dana: Her half-sister and someone who, admittedly, she barely knows. When they first meet, Dana and Avalon get along, later, during Lightspeed Rescue, Avalon is appalled to see how much their father’s influence has gotten to her. She says as much, constantly berating Dana for allowing herself to blindly follow Captain Mitchell. Dana, finally, snaps back at her that she’s putting too much of her anger onto her father when he’s trying to make things better. Eventually, their strained relationship manages to become much more friendly and sisterly.

Possibility of relationship: 8/10. Once their issues with their father are fixed, they do grow to be close. However, Avalon still thinks Dana has moments of being uptight.

Carter, Kelsey, Joel, Chad: Avalon doesn’t want to work with them at the beginning of Lightspeed Rescue. As a matter of fact, she purposefully distances herself from them as she deals with being around her father and how angry that makes her. The Lightspeed Rescue rangers are confused about this, until they figure out about Captain Mitchell’s infidelity and familiar issues. As they work together, Avalon slowly becomes more of a mentor to the rangers due to her ranger past, ultimately working with them as equals.

Possibility of relationship: 6/10.

Ryan: Avalon’s half-brother. Like Avalon, he was angry at being left behind by their father’s actions. This brings them close when he manages to stop being brainwashed by Diabolico. However, they feel nothing but antagonism to each other at the beginning; she was the product of a failed marriage and he tried to destroy her. After their work through their issues, they do become very much like any pair of siblings.

Possibility of relationship: 8/10. The only thing that bugs her about him is that he’s the oldest of all the Mitchell children and tries to use it against them.

Conner: Avalon easily sees Conner has the potential of being a good leader and a good red ranger. He just needs the motivation to get himself there, and he’s a bit immature at the beginning, caring only about his popularity, girls, and making sure he could get as far in soccer as he could. She talks to him about his stressors with his step-father, his mother, his twin brother, and how to juggle everything of being a ranger. She really does like him, willing to help him out when he needs it. Unfortunately, he does hit on her, and she turns him down with a smile and a laugh.

Possibility of relationship: 2/10. Bailey likes him. He’s too young for her. He hits on her too much.

Kira: Kira stands out and Avalon takes notice. In a way, Kira reminds Avalon of Kimberly and is drawn to her for that reason. She works with Kira one-on-one for a lot of her ranger duties and works as a close mentor to her. Kira reacts positively towards Avalon’s influence and goes to her for help at times. They both have a habit of rolling their eyes at the guys on the team—Tommy included—and share a sarcastic attitude.

Possibility of relationship: 10/10. As the only female ranger on the team, Avalon does feel she needs to be there for Kira. Not to mention, noticing the abuse she’s endured, but knows she can’t say anything to help unless Kira wants the help. Avalon has a soft spot for the yellow ranger and will help her out when she can.

Ethan: Ethan is an outgoing computer nerd that Avalon immediately notices reminds her of Billy in all ways except for his social butterfly tendencies. She laughs when Ethan quickly comes back to Conner’s quips with his own barbs and encourages him with his looks into their ranger past and the new weapons they’re working on. Avalon alters her fighting style when sparring with him, knowing he’ll closely and easily come to defeating her as he pays attention to his surroundings. She has a soft spot for him despite usually only interacting with him as his mentor.

Possibility of relationship: 2/10. Avalon is not close to Ethan. Bailey is closer to him through their similar personalities and interests. But as a mentor, she’s there for him when he needs it.

Trent: Avalon feels for Trent with all his problems; being new to school, his lupus, his being an evil ranger. She works to comfort him when he starts to struggle with his father’s identity as Mesogog and being new to Reefside.

Possibility of relationship: 1/10. She’s not close to Trent at all. Tommy is the one who is closer to him, understanding his struggles of being an evil ranger. Nevertheless, as a mentor, Avalon is there for him when needed.

Part 2

Part 4