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#it’s so… god it’s so fucking hot.
alluralater · 21 days
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i hate when switches that are more dominant than me hit my line. like?? get away from me?? why do you wanna put me on my back so bad!!! stop being able to tell exactly what buttons to push!! stop it!!
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cozylittleartblog · 1 year
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@staff if you [change] the [design] of the fucking [dashboard] i will kill you
edit. i want it on the actual post that i am not actually making a de-th threat against the staff. that's shitty. the caption quotes the fucking costco hot dog meme, which i originally said in the tags. if any staff member sees this please do Not take it personally
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xpupslxtx · 4 months
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feral play is so fucking fun god i love fighting for dominance and rolling on top of each other and pinning each other down and biting and shoving thighs against cocks and spitting insults and being overpowered and trying not to cum first and wrapping your hand around their throat just for them to immediately do the same and growling and panting and just fucking losing yourself in each other until you’re both dripping sweat and cum
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Vincent Price guest stars on
The Muppet Show (1977)
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just-null · 8 months
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i love the more well known characters and all but im pushin them all aside to focus on those in the back. i love background characters so fucking much. ino..... ino come back..
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sheepmc · 7 months
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Dilf Professor Zhongli and Dilf Professor Neuvillette
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Dilf Professor Zhongli and Dilf Professor Neuvillette brainrot hitting HARD rn like just imagine
Dilf Professor Zhongli making you ride him on his chair during one of his breaks when Dilf Professor Neuvillette caught the both of you only to join in kissing you sloppily devouring your moans whilst rubbing his cock through his pants
Both Dilf Professor Zhongli and Neuvillette will create excuses to either make you stay back or excuse you from classes just because they want to breed you
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reinventboy · 2 months
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he had the most diabolical fits
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4ever-feral · 2 months
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Appreciation post for Jensens Cute ass smile.
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*kicking my feet & screaming into my hands*
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communist-hatsunemiku · 2 months
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RinHuei
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andersonfilms · 10 months
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# owen doesn’t know what to with all of that but i do
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silentmajesticfox · 2 months
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This isn’t mine but OH MY GYAAAAAT JUST IMAGINEEEE, thank you to the artist who created this im on my kneeeeees
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ratmonky · 3 months
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Business Strategy
warnings: manipulation
word count: 1k
ao3 link
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Some people needed attention, some people needed love and Gods needed to be worshipped. 
"You have been trending on almost every visual media and as a podcast topic. How does it feel to be worshipped by everyone?"
Everyone but you.
You look down at him as you sit on your desk with your legs crossed, an unnoticeable smile on your lips. The tip of his cock is glistening with precum that drips on the polished floor. He is impatiently rubbing himself while staring up at you, eyes like a puppy's, begging for you to continue.
"Good work today, John," you praise him, your smile getting wider as his hand around his hand gets faster. "If you manage to spend a single day without any casualties I might even pat your head and rest it on my lap."
He nods with his eyes wide, staring at your bottom as his mouth opens. You don’t scold or comment on him for using his X-ray vision. He has been working hard lately to make you so proud. Precious John. He wakes up every day to make his pretty boss happy and sits by her desk like an obedient dog, waiting to be rewarded.
His gloved hand moves hastily around his cock, it makes a squeaky sound with each stroke. It brings you out of your thoughts.
You continue to smile, watching him pathetically jerk off on another work day after giving his report of the day. You wonder what he is thinking about right now. A scenario where he sucks on your tits while he has his head on your lap and lets you jerk him off? Or getting fed up with your strange power over him and bending you over the desk right now? He would rip your tights and pull up your skirt, humping you aimlessly until his cock finally slid inside. Wouldn't that feel good? You wonder if he had it in him to even pull something risky like that but he would never risk upsetting you. 
Good little John. 
Begging to be yours.
You decide you want to reward him after the intense feeling of heat building inside your core, making your legs tremble and pussy leak. 
"I'll let you do whatever," you say softly, lifting his chin with the front part of your heels. His eyes are on you, clouded from lust. "Just tell me what you want, John." 
There is a smile on his face. "I want to eat your pussy," he says after clearing his throat. Nonetheless, his tone is pathetic and desperate, he cannot hide the excited expression on his face like he has been waiting for this moment all his life.
With grace, you spread your legs and let him rip your tights in the middle. He pulls you closer to the edge of the desk and slides your panties to the side. He doesn't bother lifting your skirt and shoves his face in your crotch while proceeding to pump his cock.
The feeling of his hot and wet tongue against your folds feels heavenly after a long day of work. You tilt your head up and close your eyes to focus on how he moves his tongue. He kisses your pussy slowly, nose touching your clit. He slides his tongue inside you in an attempt to taste you and quickly decides against it to focus on pleasing you. His hand on your thigh squeezes the flesh and he tries to imagine how your ass would feel like on his cock when you finally would let him fuck you. He moves to your clit, lapping at your sweet spot and drawing tight circles that get smaller and smaller. 
You don’t want to admit it but it feels so good, you try to curl your toes but you don’t have enough space in your heels to do so, you let your legs rest on his shoulders. He keeps moving in a way that mimics fucking you and you find yourself imagining going against your own rule and letting him ravish you like he has been always dreaming about. 
As he gets close to his orgasm he loses the rhythm of his tongue and basically moves his head up and down as if he were nodding with his tongue rubbing wildly against your pussy. Your hands grip the desk harder and you let out a quiet moan. He laps at your cunt like a fucking dog and it just works. You feel the rush of an orgasm wash over you and your legs shake as he groans and cums with you. He groans and goes frigid for a second before letting himself sit on the floor to rest. 
There is a short moment before you jump down from the desk to fix your clothing and he follows your lead and gets up to fix himself as you return to your seat this time. 
"I expect another great day from you tomorrow, John," you say while starting to type on the keyboard of your laptop. 
"Yes, sure," he chuckles. "I'll see you tomorrow morning."
"Night," you correct him, his smile disappears as you inform him about tomorrow. "I'll be taking care of A-Train in the morning. Noir has a short meeting with me in the afternoon and well, Deep has been waiting for weeks to have a meeting, I'll take him in the evening."
He frowns, his eyes losing any sign of life in them.
You sigh and roll your eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow night at my house, hmm?" You watch another grin creep up on his face, "Don't get any ideas unless you plan to do something that'll raise our profits by 30%."
He grins all the same, "Well, I'll see you tomorrow then." Then he leaves unwillingly because he knows you're having a meeting with sponsors in an hour. 
The next day, you wake up to the news of Homelander selling his official Vought merch in front of the tower and giving interviews about his new show that will air only on Vought+.
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nobie · 4 months
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codywan teamwork w/ obis distressed hair all in one scene?? and im supposed to be normal about it?!?!
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Vincent Price dress rehearsal for Victoria Regina (1935)
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icaruspendragon · 8 months
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my husband and i started dating almost six years ago and our anniversary is coming up so i was looking through texts from when we first started seeing each other and jfk i'm just now realizing he was flirting with me and i simply did not realize that’s what was happening.
he'd say something like "aren’t you just the sweetest thing" and i'd respond with some shit like "that's nice of you to say. i have a deeply ingrained borderline pathological need to be liked and also to make other people happy so it's good to know i'm succeeding in that."
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aroaceleovaldez · 11 months
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Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.
Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.
Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.
Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.
#pjo#percy jackson#nico di angelo#Percy shows up at CJ and squints at Nico like ''hm. why do i feel like i hate you? like i just wanna punch you in the face?''#and Nico just immediately goes ''huh no idea anyways i have to go-'' and jumps into Tartarus#but not before he gives Hazel essentially a detailed explanation of ''this is Percy i cant say much but please dont let him die <3''#and Nico's whole Tartarus trip was basically a whole ''im doing this so no one else has to''#only for Percy and Annabeth to fall in like one book later and Nico proceeds to spend the next book internally screaming about it#and then Cupid calls him out on it and the next book#Nico's just like ''at this point im hoping i keel over within the next week just so i can force this dumb crush to chill the fuck out''#Nico staring pointedly at Will: ''For my own sake i need to form another crush RIGHT NOW so i can finally get over Percy.''#''this has been so bad for my health''#Nico's crush on Percy is just too funny to me. horrible pick my guy. terrible job. love that for you. he could not be less interested.#Percy LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL NICO and ditch him in the underworld and Nico is somehow STILL like ''but i love him''#Percy basically chokes him. beats up his dad. tells him ''go get smited by your dad for me.'' and ditches him.#and Nico's opinions/crush on him DO NOT CHANGE#though also Nico's reaction to Percy beating up his dad + skeletons is SO funny. his jaw is on the floor. he's flustered about it.#he just witnessed Percy be incredibly hot and proceeded to go ''yea i'll do anything for this man. collect reinforcements of 3 gods? sure''#nico you absolute DISASTER with HORRIBLE TASTE. you can do better. raise your standards.#which tbh is funnier when you factor in sun and the star. Nico just wont stop crushing on guys who dislike him and everything he stands for
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