#it’s so weird fhfhfhfhf
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Lol my brother is networking too much with my childhood crush and it’s too weird fhfjdjd like obviously I don’t like him but also I haven’t talked to him in like 15 years probably
#and by 15 years I mean 20 years#when I was literally like 8 or 9#I prob spoke to him a total of 5 times in my life now that I really think abt it even tho I saw him countless times#💀💀💀#actually no wait jk I def spoke to him when I was 6 or 7 when I first developed this crush#lol#but yeah now my brother went to dinner with him plus some other ppl from our organization#it’s so weird fhfhfhfhf#(for me. and for no one else. everyone else is just living normally)#it’s a networking dinner and he’s the guy they are networking with because of his job#it’s only weird cuz my brother knows lol otherwise I could have continued feeling unbothered#I don’t like him. but it’s like ptsd u know from my childhood#of not wanting to interact with him and avoiding him and running away#literally it’s not even a big deal#I’m just dumb and feel like it’s written on my forehead that I used to like him as a kid and now he’s married with a cool job#and I don’t have a spouse or a job I’m just a loser#so great is my fear of feeling less than. 😔#I am indeed such a loser. if anything. just for that#😔😔😔😔😔😔#💭.txt#is this ingratitude am I being ungrateful
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