#it’s so unfortunate that I’m just as much of a disaster as Nagi

[spiralingdowwn]

Me thinking about how easy it is to write for Nagi: “wait, I’m not a Nagi kinnie, am I?”

*side eyes my undying love for Reo Mikage*

“Fuck.”

[flydotnet]

Impromptu Nursing

VRAINS Rarepair Weeks 2018-2019 - Day 12: Pets/Sickfic

Summary: Kiku and Takeru have planned on seeing each other after weeks and months of not doing so because of the distance. There is, however, kind of a knack with it: he doesn't show up at their meeting point. Instead, she goes to his place and decides that he needs to be taken care of instead of apologizing to her. 

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS Ships: Entrustshipping (Takeru/Kiku)

Wordcount: 1.9K words

Notes: Justice for Shoichi, the best wingman ever. YOOOOOO BEST PROMPT IS HERE You gotta have to thank Michevalier for the sudden Entrust inspiration. I'm writing almost the opposite as she does (with my floof and all), so make sure to check her fic too, xoxo, Fly. It's very fluffy for once, considering I slapped a thing from a Cardcaptor Sakura special manga chapter on there for good measure. 

Event hosted by @vrainsrarepairweeks

AO3 version available here.

Winter break’s cold winds blows through Den City as Kiku steps down from her train. Still very little used to the city’s busier atmosphere compared to her countryside hometown, she made sure to plan where she had to meet up with Takeru: a park downtown, in front of a hotdog truck named Café Nagi. He also accompanied the explanation with a picture of some of his friends from the city:  on it, Takeru was smiling, arm wrapped around the shoulder of a blue-haired boy around their age named Yusaku. Right behind them was an older, purple-haired man named Kusanagi who couldn’t be that much older than them.

 Takeru has almost insisted for her to meet them and not just with him. He has told her countless stories about them, how they had all met. His eyes were shimmering whenever he talked about Aoi’s exploits, how they saved Miyu, how Yusaku was a great friend to have, how Kusanagi’s advice was either fantastic or hilariously terrible, and then there was this little guy in his Duel Disk that’d say something witty and she’d giggle. He was so excited for it, how could she not be as excited herself?

And then it turns out he wasn’t at their meeting point.

 She does see Yusaku eating a hotdog and Kusanagi asking what she wants to get for herself, but there is no Takeru to be seen. She has to apologize: she’s sorry, she isn’t here to order anything. At first, the man looks confused, and she wonders if she hasn’t stumbled upon very coincidental identical people. That would be very unfortunate, because she’d have bothered people who have nothing to do with whomever she is searching for. Soon after, however, he remembers what Takeru has told him and greets her with a great smile.

“Oh, you’re Takeru’s childhood friend, ain’t ya? Sorry to tell ya this, but he isn’t here today!”

The astonishment is full on her part.

“Ex… Excuse me?”

“Yeah, he just… didn’t come here, for some reason… He isn’t responding to neither Yusaku or me.”

“Oh, I see…”

 Kusanagi seems down from having to tell her this as her mind starts racing. If Takeru isn’t here, it may be because he’s slipping back into his shut-un lifestyle, and she doesn’t want that to happen again. This is bad…

She’s starting to panic when the hotdog seller’s voice breaks her away from her thoughts and brings her back to reality.

“Hey, I’ve got an idea! Why don’t you go pay him a visit? I’m sure he’d be very happy to see ya!”

“Ah, I’d love to, but I don’t know where Takeru lives here. He hasn’t given me his address…”

“That’s nothing! Gimme two sec’, I’m gonna grab ya a piece of paper and write it there, you can use your phone’s GPS to get there! Don’t forget to give us some news when you’ll be there, okay?”

 Kusanagi doesn’t fail to deliver. Barely minutes later, she’s back on her feet, phone in one and the piece of paper in the other in case her map app bugs on her and she has to input the address again. What a resourceful man… She can perfectly see why Takeru was so happy to introduce him to her. Yusaku didn’t say much, but his little thumb-up to her was very charming to see anyway. They do seem like very nice people, she’s glad Takeru is their friend, that he can count on them when he’d be otherwise isolated in a busy, bustling city. It means he has people to rely on whenever he needs help.

 On the other hand, Kiku feels a great deal of anxiety when she notices Takeru still isn’t responding to her text messages. She has attempted to call him several times since arriving in Den City, sometimes even if just to ask where to go (and have an excuse to hear his voice yet again, goodness she loves hearing his voice so much), but he has never picked up either. At first, she thought he was busy with his friends at the café, and considering how forgetful he was, it was totally plausible. However, knowing he wasn’t there and has never been, she felt shivers going down her spine. It sounds like an ominous recipe for disaster, if you ask her.

She clutches her phone in her hands whenever she isn’t looking at map instructions, hoping it’s just because he’s too busy and is late, but the worried glance Yusaku and Kusanagi exchanged earlier didn’t indicate it was any better than that. Maybe he’ll call her back or respond to her message, so she keeps the vibrator turned on.

Please be alright, Takeru, she often finds herself whispering under her breath as to feel less alone.

 After feels like too much time spent in unknown streets, she finally finds the apartment complex where Takeru lives. Her phone not being able to track his exact position down, she instead relies on instincts and following number logic. His mailbox seems to indicate a floor and a flat number: that hads to be where she’s headed. Even climbing the stairs, as the elevator is broken and out of commission as a result, doesn’t feel like a chore and more like a time loss. She senses that something’s wrong, a feeling that is fogging her mind to the point all she can think about is reaching his flat and know what was wrong. Once facing the door, which she almost misses because her attention has been hindered, her hit isn’t a miss: his name is indeed on the small nameplate next to the door and right over the ringbill.

 There is no immediate response, and she’s very much tempted to ring again, until the door opens and she gets faced by her precious Takeru and his… sickly appearance, to say the least.

She has known him for long enough to know it when his skin is paler, and even then, it’s obvious enough for anyone to see it. A thick red hue covers his otherwise cadaveric face, his glasses are covered in fog (she’s surprised he’s even wearing those…) and there are deep dark rings under his eyes. Sweat is pearling down his temples and his half-opened pyjama top can only mean he’s feeling very hot in early spring.

 “Ah, h-hi, Kiku…” he exhales as he realizes it’s her, a tiny smile appearing on his face.

“Takeru, are you okay?” she immediately asks, not waiting for any answer. “You look terrible!”

He looks on the side, embarrassed, and coughs in his elbow.

“C’mon in… Sorry, I slept through my alarm and…”

“It’s all fine, don’t worry, let’s get you to bed again,” she puts her hands on his shoulders and tries to get him to his room by relying on her instincts alone, but in the end, he still indicates her where to go. The flat itself is small, truly sized for one person, so it doesn’t take her more than a few coughs from him too much to find the bedroom.

 Once she has made sure Takeru was back in bed and propped against pillows, she noticed a little red creature rising from his Duel Disk. It soon disappears back into it, however, and she is left wondering if it was her or it was real. Oh well, it’s not important.

“Have you eaten something yet?” she asks as she mentally makes a list of what she could have to be going out to buy.

“Well, not really, I just got out of bed… And Flame can’t make breakfast…”

Oh, so this was probably the little guy inside his Duel Disk! Takeru has described Flame as before!

“I’ll make you something with what you have then, okay? Your grandparents once told me about what they’d make for you when you were sick!”

 She ran to the kitchen, which seems to be a hybrid with the theorical dining room, and takes a look through the fridge and other places to find a way to make something quickly. She settles for a cup of honey milk, not too big in case he isn’t hungry and warm enough to feel good on the throat, and a moderate bowl of oatmeal. She doesn’t really know why he had this in here, but she’s grateful for it: it’ll be just fine for her sick friend. There is no proper tray to put these on: instead, she just uses something similar found nearby. She isn’t sure what it is, but it can hold a bowl, a mug and the pills she found in his pharmacy.

 Takeru gives her a smile as she puts it on his lap, making sure it isn’t burning to hold.

“Thank you very much, but you really didn’t have to…” he tells her, but she dismisses it quickly.

“Who else was going to take care of you? Your friends had no idea you were missing because you were sick… You should tell them, so they can take care of you when I’ll be back in our hometown…”

He looks at the red mug with blue stripes, holds it in his hands and, after taking a sip, looks back at her and smiles again.

“You remember this mug, Kiku?”

“Of course I do! It’s the one I gave you before you left for Den City!”

Ah, she’s so proud of him too for moving on from the Incident and rebuilding himself!

 This is only for her to get restless again.

“Wait, Takeru, I don’t think you have medicine…”

“I don’t think it’s much more than a cold… Plus, I’m not gonna make you pay for this, seriously, Kiku…”

“I was only able to find fever reducers, but maybe you want cough pills?”

“I’ll be fine, I promise…”

She stares at him with the intensity of a thousand doctors and the legendary force of a hundred grandma’s remedies.

“You’re really sure about that? I saw a convenience store and a pharmacy around the corner, they’re not too far for me to get there…”

 The little laugh she hears from Takeru, slightly soured down by his congested throat but still adorable to hear, almost innocent. She puts a hand on his forehead meanwhile, and sure enough, he has a fever running. It doesn’t seem to bad, however, so she just quickly grabs a washcloth in his bathroom (which is right next to the bedroom, how convenient). Once filled with cold water, she can go back to the bedroom and put it on his forehead.

“Ah, that’s annoying… I’ll have to pay you back again for this too…”

She giggles.

“You don’t owe me anything, silly! I’m glad to make sure you’ll be fine!”

“Can I ask you a last favour, Kiku…?”

His voice sounds more hesitant. Is there something wrong?

“Of course you can.”

“Can you stay with me for the day? Flame is a nice company to have, but you’re even better to have around…”

Her heart skips a beat and her cheeks heat up.

“I’ll stay here as long as I can then!”

 As if synchronized, they take each other’s hand in theirs, fingers sometimes detaching so they can do other stuff on the side, like daling with the tray. They, however, enlace each other almost right afterwards, and she cannot help but feel like a guardian angel at the moment.

Takeru’s grandparents have told her before she was his guardian angel, after all, but never had she pictured that idea so much than now.

[your-dietician]

2021 NFL Divisional Power Rankings: NFC West takes top spot, Cowboys in the basement with rest of NFC East

New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/nfl/2021-nfl-divisional-power-rankings-nfc-west-takes-top-spot-cowboys-in-the-basement-with-rest-of-nfc-east/

2021 NFL Divisional Power Rankings: NFC West takes top spot, Cowboys in the basement with rest of NFC East

Now that the month of July is here, that means the dead part of the NFL offseason is officially upon us and although things can get kind of boring during that period, we’ve decided to spice things up and we’re doing that today with some divisional power rankings. 

If you’ve ever wondered which division is the best one in the NFL, you won’t have to wonder much longer because we’re going to answer that question for you. Some divisions — like the NFC East — are easy to rank because, well, let’s be honest, it was the worst division last year and it doesn’t look like things are going to be much better this year. 

On the other hand, there are some divisions that are nearly impossible to rank, cough, NFC North. No one knows if Aaron Rodgers is going to be playing for the Packers this year, which is one reason why it’s tough to rank that division. 

So how did everything shake out?

Let’s get to the rankings. 

8. NFC East

I’m not sure what rock bottom is in the NFL, but the NFC East was definitely trying to find out last season. This division was so bad in 2020 that even NFC East fans were willing to admit that their favorite division was horrible. 

If you need a quick refresher on how bad the NFC East was last year, just consider this: Washington won the division with a losing record (7-9). Overall, the NFC East finished with a 10-29-1 non-divisional record last season, which was tied with the 2014 NFC South for the worst non-divisional record since the NFL realigned the divisions in 2002. Also, the NFC East combined to go 23-40-1 overall, which was the second-worst overall record ever for a division (The 2008 NFC West went 22-42). 

Unfortunately for the NFC East, it doesn’t look like things are going to get much better in 2021. The Eagles are still a mess and they have a first-year coach in place who’s going to have to clean things up. The Giants should be better, but that’s going to come down to whether Daniel Jones can take the next step. The Cowboys will be getting Dak Prescott back, but who knows if that will actually help. In the four games where Dak was healthy last year, the Cowboys went 1-3. As for Washington, the Football Team still has a strong defense and they upgraded at quarterback, so they could be better, but not enough to move the NFC East out of the basement.  

Eventually, this division will get better, but this probably won’t be the year where that happens. 

NFC East out-of-division record in 2020: 10-29-1 (1-3 vs. NFC North, 2-2 vs. NFC South, 4-12 vs. NFC West, 4-11-1 vs. AFC North) 2021 out-of-division schedule: Four games vs. NFC South and AFC West (One game vs. AFC East)

7. AFC South

This might be the most top heavy division in the NFL this year. On one hand, you have the Colts and Titans, who should both be playoff contenders. On the other hand, you have the Jaguars and Texans, who might end up finishing the season with the two worst records in football.

Right now, Houston is a total disaster. The team has a quarterback who doesn’t want to play for them, but they can’t trade him due to his legal issues. With Deshaun Watson’s status up in the air, the Texans will likely be turning things over to Tyrod Taylor at quarterback. In Jacksonville, the Jags should be better — because it’s not possible to get much worse after a 1-15 season — but with a rookie quarterback and first-year coach in Urban Meyer, this doesn’t feel like a team that really has a chance to finish the season above .500.  

Although the Titans and Colts are both expected to be good this year, this division could end up as the worst one in football if either of those teams falter, which isn’t completely out of the question. The Colts have no idea what they’ll be getting in Carson Wentz and the Titans defense will need to be better than it was last year. 

AFC South out-of-division record in 2020: 15-25 (8-8 vs. NFC North, 2-14 vs. AFC North, 3-1 vs. AFC East, 2-2 vs. AFC West) 2021 out-of-division schedule: Four games vs. NFC West and AFC East (one game vs. NFC South)

6. NFC North

The NFC North was the hardest division to rank this year and that’s because no one has any idea if Aaron Rodgers is going to be in it. If Rodgers is playing for the Packers, you could probably make the case that this division should be ranked fifth or maybe even fourth, but with Rodgers status up in the air, we’re dropping them all the way to sixth. 

Outside of the Packers, no other team in this division finished above .500 last year. The Bears were on the cusp of being good, but their quarterback situation always seems to hold them back and this year might not be any different. Coach Matt Nagy has been insisting that Andy Dalton will be the team’s Week 1 starter, which actually might be for the best, because the Bears are playing the Rams. If the Bears start Justin Fields in the opener, he might take so many hits from Aaron Donald that it will scar him for life. 

In Minnesota, the Vikings should be better after beefing up their defense. The defensive line alone will have four players this year who didn’t play a single snap for the team last year in Danielle Hunter (injured), Sheldon Richardson (2021 free agent signing), Dalvin Tomlinson (2021 free agent signing) and Michael Pierce (Opted out in 2020 due to COVID). As for the Lions, they’re still the Lions and they’re a big reason why this division is ranked so low. 

NFC North out-of-division record in 2020: 21-19 (8-8 vs. NFC South, 8-8 vs AFC South, 3-1 vs. NFC East, 2-2 vs. NFC West) 2021 out-of-division schedule: Four games vs. NFC West and AFC North (one game vs. AFC West)

5. NFC South

If these rankings were based solely on how good the best team in your division is, then the NFC South would probably be ranked first this year and that’s because they have the defending Super Bowl champions. However, that’s not how things work around here. For our divisional rankings, we take into account all four teams, which definitely doesn’t work out in the NFC South’s favor.

Although the Buccaneers feel like a lock to make the playoffs, the same can’t be said about any other team in the division. The Saints actually won the NFC South last year, but it’s hard to see them repeating as champs and that’s mainly due to the fact that their starting quarterback is either going to be Jameis Winston or Taysom Hill.

The Panthers (5-11 last year) and Falcons (4-12 in 2020) should both be better, but even if both teams improve by three wins, they’ll still be under .500. This feels like a division where every team except for the Buccaneers is probably going to finish with somewhere between six and nine wins.  

NFC South out-of-division record in 2020: 20-20 (8-8 vs. NFC North, 8-8 vs. AFC West, 2-2 vs. NFC East, 2-2 vs. NFC West) 2021 out-of-division schedule: Four games vs. NFC East and AFC East (one game vs. AFC South)

4. AFC East

For most of the past 20 years, the AFC East was basically just the Patriots beating up on three bad teams, but that all changed in 2020. With Tom Brady no longer in New England, the Patriots domination finally ended and because of that, the AFC East is now a much more well-rounded division.  

The Bills used to be the laughing stock of the division, but now, they’re laughing at everyone else after a 2020 season where Josh Allen led them to the AFC title game. Since hiring Sean McDermott in 2017, the Bills have been steadily improving every year and heading into Year 5 of his regime, they now feel like an actual Super Bowl contender, which is something that no one has been able to say about the Bills in more than 25 years. 

Although the Patriots got knocked off the top of the divisional perch last season, they’re not going away. During the offseason, Bill Belichick basically went out and signed anyone he could get his hands on in hopes of wrestling the division title back from Buffalo. 

As for the Dolphins, thanks to their 10-6 finish last season, this feels like a division that has at least three playoff contenders. Some day the Jets will turn things around, but until that day comes, it will be hard to rank this division any higher (The Jets haven’t made the playoffs since 2010, which is the longest active streak in the NFL without a postseason appearance). 

AFC East out-of-division record in 2020: 20-20 (8-8 vs. NFC West, 7-9 vs. AFC West, 4-0 vs. AFC North, 1-3 vs. AFC South)

2021 out-of-division schedule: Four games vs. NFC South and AFC South (one game vs. NFC East)

3. AFC West

It’s not easy to rank the AFC West and that’s mostly because it’s almost impossible to gauge how good this division is outside of Kansas City. Look, we know the Chiefs are unstoppable and they proved that last year during the regular season. Not only did they go 14-1 in games where their starters played, but they went UNDEFEATED (10-0) against non-divisional opponents (To put that in perspective, only three other teams have pulled that off over the past 10 years: 2012 Falcons, 2015 Panthers and 2016 Cowboys). 

The problem with the rest of the division is that none of them finished above .500 last year, which makes the AFC West the only AFC division that had three teams finish at .500 or below. On paper, all three teams should be better this year, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. I mean, on paper, I think I look like Brad Pitt, but no one actually thinks that in real life. 

The Broncos have a strong defense and some talented skill players, but they don’t have a quarterback. The Chargers have talent everywhere, but we have no idea if their first-year coach can actually coach. As for the Raiders, their defense was bad last year and they didn’t do much to improve it. 

That being said, it does feel like feel like all three teams could compete for a wild-card this year. I mean, if this woman can make the Raiders logo out of rice, then surely the Raiders can compete for a playoff berth. 

AFC West out-of-division record in 2020: 22-18 (8-8 vs. NFC South, 9-7 vs. AFC East, 3-1 vs. AFC North, 2-2 vs. AFC South)

2021 out-of-division schedule: Four games vs. NFC East and AFC North (one game vs. NFC North)

2. AFC North

Of all the divisions in the NFL, only one of them sent three teams to the playoffs last year and that was the AFC North, which has consistently been one of the best divisions in football. As a matter of fact, over the past 10 years, there have only been five instances where a division sent three teams to the playoffs and the AFC North has accounted for three of those (2011, 2014, 2020)

Last season was a banner year for the division and there’s a chance that things are only going to get better for everyone in 2021, well, except for maybe the Steelers. On the Browns’ end, Cleveland has finally found a competent coach in Kevin Stefanski, which means the Browns could take a big step forward. The Browns already took a huge step forward with Stefanski — they won their first playoff game since 1994 — but now that they’ve tasted victory, expectations are even higher in Cleveland. 

As for the Ravens, they’ve been nearly unstoppable on offense with Lamar Jackson and that will likely continue this season. The Steelers are the team with the biggest question marks in the division and those questions mainly revolve around whether Ben Roethlisberger can make it through an entire season unscathed. If he can, there’s no reason the Steelers can’t return to the playoffs.  

The worst team in the AFC North is the Bengals, but they might not be the worst team much longer.  With Joe Burrow returning from his ACL injury and a revamped defense, it won’t be surprising if the Bengals win several more games than they did last year.

With the NFL playoffs now open to 14 teams, it will now be possible for a division to send ALL FOUR of its teams to the playoffs, and if the Bengals can improve, the AFC North might be able to make history in 2021. 

AFC North out-of-division record in 2020: 26-13-1 (11-4-1 vs. NFC East, 14-2 vs. AFC South, 1-3 vs. AFC West, 0-4 vs. AFC East) 2021 out-of-division schedule: Four games vs. AFC West and NFC North (one game vs. NFC West)

1. NFC West 

The NFC was arguably the best division in football last year and the reason they’re still at the top this year is because you can make the argument that every team in the division has gotten EVEN BETTER heading into 2021. 

The worst team in the division last season was the 49ers and when a team two years removed from a Super Bowl berth is your worst team, that is a pretty strong argument that you have one of the best divisions in football. The 49ers got rocked by injuries last year, but with everyone healthy in 2021, this is a team that should be a Super Bowl contender. 

The only other team that didn’t finish above .500 in the NFC West last season was the Cardinals, but that could change in 2021 after their explosive offseason. Arizona went out and signed everyone, including J.J. Watt, A.J. Green and Malcolm Butler. They also added some protection for Kyler Murray in the form of center Rodney Hudson. 

Of course, the biggest move in the division came from the Rams, who traded for Matthew Stafford, who should be a huge upgrade over Jared Goff. In four seasons with Goff, Sean McVay averaged 10.75 wins per season, so don’t be surprised if he tops that number with Stafford. 

As for Seattle, as long as Russell Wilson’s relationship with the team doesn’t implode, the Seahawks should be a playoff contender like they have been in every single season since 2012 when he took over the starting job. . 

If there’s one division in the NFL where it feels like any of the four teams could end up in a conference championship game, it definitely feels like this one. 

NFC West out-of-division record in 2020: 24-16 (12-4 vs. NFC East, 8-8 vs. AFC East, 2-2 vs. NFC South, 2-2 vs. NFC North) 2021 out-of-division schedule: Four games vs. NFC North and AFC South (one game vs. AFC North)

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2020 NFL season: Bold predictions, final record for every team, playoff and Super Bowl picks

Guys, I don’t want to jinx anything, but I think the 2020 NFL season is actually going to happen. 

The first game of the year is now just two days away, and unless this country comes under attack by fire-breathing hornets between now and Thursday — which does seem at least somewhat plausible based on how the year has gone so far — I’m thinking we’re going to get football. 

With the start of the NFL season now here, that means it’s time for everyone’s favorite thing: PREDICTIONS. 

I’ll be honest, I have high expectations for my predictions this year and that’s mainly because I’ve been locked in my house for the past five months quarantined with a baby. During that period, the only two things I’ve done are: 1. Change diapers and 2. Try to figure out who’s going to win this year’s Super Bowl. Although I’d like to think I’ll hit the nail on the head with all of my predictions this year, the fact of the matter is that this could end up being one of the most unpredictable years in NFL history. Not only was the preseason eliminated, but NFL teams did their best to shut down the flow of information coming out of their training camps, which means I have no idea which rookies have looked good or if any aging veterans look like they should be thinking about retirement. 

I mean, one team has a 41-year-old player on its practice squad in case you’re wondering how bizarre things have gotten this year. 

Before we get to my predictions, let me explain how things are going to work here: I’m going to go through each division and predict each team’s final record. After that, I’ll be making a bold prediction for each division. Once you roll through the divisional portion of these predictions, you’ll see my playoff picks and eventually, my Super Bowl champion. In two of the past five years, my preseason Super Bowl pick has ended up winning it all, so you might want to scroll down and check out that prediction first to see if I’m picking your favorite team. 

Also, since we all know that making fun of someone’s predictions is half the fun of reading predictions, you can send all your hate tweets to me on Twitter by clicking here, and just so you know, Broncos fans, I’m already mentally preparing for your hate tweets. 

Finally, if you’re wondering how I did last season, I predicted the exact win total of five different teams. I also correctly predicted that the Packers would make it to the NFC title game and that the Chiefs would win the Super Bowl. On the other hand, I completely whiffed on San Francisco. I had the 49ers going 6-10 last season, and they responded to that prediction by laughing in my face all the way to the Super Bowl. Niners fans also laughed in my face.

Alright, that’s enough jibber-jabber about last year, let’s get to the 2020 predictions.

AFC East

1. *Patriots: 10-6 2. *Bills: 9-7 3. Dolphins: 6-10 4. Jets: 4-12

AFC East bold prediction: Cam Newton leads the NFL in total touchdowns

No one knows if the Patriots are going to be any good this year and that’s mainly because no one knows if Cam Newton is going to be any good. The former Panthers quarterback hasn’t been able to stay healthy over the past few seasons, so there’s no guarantee he’s going to be able stay healthy in New England. That being said, I actually think Newton is going to have a monstrous year. For one, the Patriots are going to have the element of surprise on their side in 2020. For the past two decades, every opponent knew what the Patriots offense was going to do (even if they couldn’t stop it). This year, no one has any idea what the Patriots are going to do on offense, and because of that, it could be tough to stop. Also, Newton gives the Patriots something they never had with Tom Brady: A quarterback who is a threat to run the ball. If Newton can throw 30 touchdown passes this year and rush for 10 more, that will likely be enough to lead the NFL in total touchdowns, and that’s exactly what I’m predicting. 

AFC North

1. *Steelers: 11-5 2. *Ravens: 11-5 3. Browns: 8-8 4. Bengals: 7-9

AFC North bold prediction: Joe Burrow sets NFL record for most TD passes by a rookie

This record is currently held by an AFC North rival (Baker Mayfield), which means it will probably feel especially gratifying for Burrow if he’s able to knock the Browns quarterback out of the record book. Back in 2018, Mayfield threw 27 touchdown passes, which broke Peyton Manning’s record of 26 that had stood since 1997. Burrow is going to have a huge advantage over Mayfield, and that’s because the Bengals quarterback is going to be the starter from Day 1, which means he’ll definitely be starting 16 games this season (Mayfield only started 13 games for the Browns in 2018). 

The other upside for Burrow is that he’s going to have a lot of receiving talent to work with in Cincinnati with guys like A.J. Green, Tyler Boyd, Tee Higgins, Auden Tate, Alex Erickson and John Ross, plus running backs Joe Mixon and Gio Bernard. Also, there’s a good chance we’ll see Burrow put up big numbers this year no matter how the Bengals play. On one hand, if the Bengals are good, it will likely be because Burrow is having a phenomenal rookie season. On the other hand, if the Bengals are bad, we could see Burrow put up some huge numbers in garbage time, which could help his touchdown total.

AFC South

1. *Colts: 10-6 2. *Titans: 9-7 3. Texans: 7-9 4. Jaguars: 3-13

AFC South bold prediction: Doug Marrone is the first coach fired during the 2020 season

In most cases, when a team makes it to the AFC Championship game, they try to build on that success, but for some reason the Jaguars decided to do the opposite. Since making it to the AFC title game in 2017, all the Jaguars have done is completely dismantle their entire roster. The final two nails in the coffin came last week when the team dumped both Yannick Ngakoue (in a trade) and Leonard Fournette. After two straight last-place finishes over the past two seasons, Marrone is definitely on the hot seat this year and if the Jaguars get off to a slow start, he might not last long in Jacksonville. The Jags have a bye in Week 7 this season and if the team shoots off to a 1-6 or 0-7 start, it won’t be surprising if owner Shad Khan finally pulls the plug on the Marrone era in Jacksonville.  

AFC West

1. *Chiefs: 13-3 2. Chargers: 7-9 3. Raiders: 6-10 4. Broncos: 5-11

AFC West bold prediction: The Broncos are worse than they were in 2019

The Broncos have been a trendy pick this year as a dark horse playoff team and a big reason for that is because of the way they finished the season. Over the final five weeks of 2019, Drew Lock led them to a 4-1 record, which allowed Denver to finish the season 7-9. One of the biggest question marks in Denver is the offensive line, which is a problem, because that’s not an issue you want to be worrying about when you have a second-year quarterback under center. The Broncos might have quite a few weapons, but those weapons don’t really mean anything if Lock never has time to get them the ball. 

NFC East

1. *Cowboys: 11-5 2. Eagles: 9-7 3. Washington: 4-12 4. Giants: 3-13

NFC East bold prediction: Dak Prescott wins MVP

I’m starting to think that Jerry Jones actually had a diabolical plan going into 2020 that involved not giving Dak a long-term deal so that he’ll be playing with a chip on his shoulder the entire season, and I’m also starting to think that this plan might work. Last year, Dak finished with the second-most passing yards in the NFL and the fourth-most touchdown passes, despite playing in a run-friendly offense. With a more pass-happy coach and even more offensive weapons, we’ll likely see some even bigger numbers from Prescott. Oh, and let’s not forget that he plays for America’s team, which basically means that you’re automatically in the MVP conversation as long as you finish above .500 and I absolutely think the Cowboys are going to finish above .500. 

NFC North

1. *Packers: 9-7 2. Vikings: 9-7 3. Lions: 8-8 4. Bears: 6-10

NFC North bold prediction: No team in the division will hit double-digit wins

If there’s one division where it feels like every team took at least a small step back this year, it’s the NFC North. The Packers added zero receiving weapons for Aaron Rodgers, the Vikings lost half their starters on defense, Bears coach Matt Nagy is being forced to start a quarterback he doesn’t have any confidence in  and the Lions are the Lions. Basically, it’s a recipe for disaster and disaster in this case will be a season where none of the teams in the division hit the 10-win mark. This qualifies as bold, because it’s only happened one time in the 18-year history of the NFC North. Since the division’s first year in 2002, the only time none of the teams hit the double-digit mark came in 2013 when the Packers won the NFC North with just eight wins. 

NFC South

1. *Buccaneers: 11-5 2. *Saints: 10-6 3. Falcons: 8-8 4. Panthers: 4-12

NFC South bold prediction: Buccaneers win the division for the first time in 13 years

With Tom Brady now in Tampa, this might not seem like a bold prediction, but according to our friends at William Hill Sportsbook, it definitely qualifies as bold, and that’s because the Saints are the overwhelming favorite to win the division this year. With just days to go until the start of the season, the Saints’ odds of winning the division are sitting at -120 (bet $100 to win $83.30) while the Bucs have much worse odds at +160 (bet $100, win $160). Not only will I be riding the Brady train this year, but I’ll be riding it all the way to the NFC title game. Unfortunately for the Buccaneers though, I don’t have Tampa Bay winning that game. To find out who I have beating them, you’ll have to keep reading. 

NFC West

1. *Seahawks: 11-5 2. *49ers: 10-6 3. *Rams: 9-7 4. Cardinals: 8-8

NFC West bold prediction: All four teams finish at .500 or above

Most people seem to agree this year that the NFC West is the most stacked division in the NFL, so you might be wondering why this prediction qualifies as a bold prediction and the reason for that is because it’s never happened before. The NFC West has existed since 1970, and in the 50 years since then, there’s never been a single season where every team in the division finished at .500 or above. If it’s ever going to happen, this feels like the year the four teams could get it done. 

NFC Playoffs

Teams: 1. Cowboys 2. Seahawks 3. Buccaneers 4. Packers 5. 49ers 6. Saints 7. Rams

Wild Card

(2) Seahawks 20-16 over (7) Rams

(3) Buccaneers 30-27 over (6) Saints

(5) 49ers 34-20 over  (4) Packers

Divisional

(1) Cowboys 27-23 over (5) 49ers

(3) Buccaneers 31-24 over (2) Seahawks

NFC Championship

(1) Cowboys 34-30 over (3) Buccaneers

AFC Playoffs

Teams: 1. Chiefs 2. Steelers 3. Colts 4. Patriots 5. Ravens 6. Titans 7. Bills

Wild Card

(2) Steelers 23-20 over (7) Bills

(3) Colts 27-24 over (6) Titans

(5) Ravens 31-23 over (4) Patriots

Divisional 

(1) Chiefs 33-30 over (5) Ravens

(3) Colts 34-27 over (2) Steelers

AFC Championship

(1) Chiefs 31-24 over (3) Colts

Super Bowl LV in Tampa (CBS)

Cowboys 34-31 over Chiefs

Playoffs bold prediction: Cowboys end 25-year Super Bowl drought

If you know any Cowboys fans, then you’re probably well aware that at the start of every NFL season, there’s nothing they like to talk about more than why this will finally be the year the Cowboys win the Super Bowl. It’s pretty much happened every year for the past 25 seasons. Although I usually laugh in their face after they make the prediction, this year I won’t be doing that, and that’s because I ACTUALLY AGREE WITH THEM. I think Jerry Jones might have brainwashed me because I think THE DALLAS COWBOYS ARE GOING TO WIN THE SUPER BOWL, and they’re going to do it by knocking off the defending champion Kansas City Chiefs. 

Basically, not only am I predicting that Dak Prescott will win the MVP this year (as you read about earlier), but I’m also predicting that he’ll lead the Cowboys to the Lombardi Trophy. I think what I’m trying to say here is that Jerry Jones better get his check book ready because Dak’s asking price is going to triple if all of this happens. 

The biggest reason I like the Cowboys this year is because they won’t be held back by coaching. Although Mike McCarthy isn’t a Hall of Fame coach by any means, he certainly feels like a step up from Jason Garrett, and let’s not forget, he also has Super Bowl coaching experience because he won a Lombardi Trophy during his time in Green Bay. 

Also, I’m not sure if fans will be allowed to attend, but if they are, this Super Bowl would probably give us some amazing tailgating and that’s because the parking lot at Raymond James would be filled with both Kansas City and Texas barbecue, which is important to note, because we could finally decide which one is actually better. 

Finally, if my predictions all pan out — and I’m sure they will — here’s what the top of the NFL Draft order will look like next April, and based on those first three picks, maybe they should move the event back to New York for the year. 

Order of first five picks for 2021 NFL Draft

1. Jaguars 2. Giants 3. Jets  4. Washington 5. Panthers

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