#it’s scary having a uterus with roe v wade gone

[raeathnos]

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[humanransome-note]

Having a uterus is scary again.

I know it’s a draft opinion and it hasn’t gone through

But it’s a 98 page draft and the first major leak from the court ever. The Supreme Court does not leak, not during Bush v Gore, not during the Obamacare deliberations, never.

So whoever leaked it thought one of two things:

This is an egregious and drastic change of a fifty year precedent, and I cannot, in good faith, let this be discussed by only a handful of people, several of which have openly said they would like to overturn Roe v Wade

This is can be a rallying cry for those who are against abortion, and give them a light at the end of the tunnel

Now the second one is much less likely, but it’s something I would consider if I was going to let something out.

I’m on birth control, and I bet that’s one of the things they are going to go after next.

Or LGBTQ+ rights like

Marriage

Discrimination protections

Health services

Gender affirming care

We may see the return of sodomy/obscenity laws

The basis for Roe is the constitutional right to privacy, and the expectation of privacy in regards to medical information and treatment.

The arguments against it are based in “right to life” arguments.

But I cannot, truly cannot, see those arguments as good faith.

Because when you ask follow up questions like things regarding quality of life, they don’t care.

You can’t afford a kid? You’re in a situation that isn’t good for a kid? You know you can’t meet that child’s emotional needs?

To bad, figure it out.

Foster care?

I’d believe it if they actually put in time and focused on policies that improve the foster care system. But since all of that falls under social safety nets they’d rather butcher the funding.

When I was in 4th grade(? I don’t remember exactly, I just remember crying as he was on the phone) my dad drove me to child services to make a complaint against my mother because I hadn’t taken a proper shower in 4 days (I cleaned up in the sink, I remember being exhausted and figuring I’d do it properly the next day)

He actually walked me into the building, into the lobby, and up to a receptionist, and I had no idea where we were or why we were there until he talked to the receptionist asking to make a claim of child abuse against my mother.

They told him to grab a pamphlet and make a call.

It was crowded, it was loud, it was gloomy, the floor may have been sticky. Most of that part of the memory is just shapes and feelings.

Sometimes I think about DCF or hear about it and I get sick, there was a good month where I just kept waiting for someone to take me away from my mom, and even in my twenties I still sometimes get anxious about it.

But I know that’s just because of what happened to me specifically. Logically I know they have much more important things to worry about, that statistically I had nothing to worry about because my father is black and my mother is white, and my mother occasionally worked with DCF too.

And logically I know these people are overworked and underpaid stretched beyond their limits to meet a quota because of a lack of funding.

If they were properly funded and staffed I may not have had to worry about anything because someone would have probably called my mom, she didn’t know that he called DCF on her until I mentioned it in like high school or something.

That’s just going to get worse.

And people who don’t want kids, what about them? There are people who have them in the hopes that they’ll end up loving them and find out it doesn’t always happen like that. That not everyone immediately adores the thing growing inside them when they see a positive sign on a test stick.

That’s a cruelty I don’t understand. (All of these things are cruelties mind but people don’t talk about the last one as much)

Did my father call DCF because I didn’t shower for four days? Yes. Does that mean he loves me? No.

He just likes the appearance of being a good father, he wasn’t emotionally invested in me or my life, not beyond appeasing his own mother.

When I was seventeen he tried to report me as missing because I didn’t answer the phone, because it was that or admit to his family that we hadn’t spoken in two years.

The emotional detachment/disinterest, a kid may or may not notice it, but if they do it will fuck them up.

I tried to figure out what to do to make my dad actually love me, I never talked, I never disagreed, hell there was one time I peed myself because I didn’t want to ask him where the bathroom was because I didn’t want to bother him.

I was about ten when I realized there wasn’t anything I could do, and that him not loving me wasn’t because I did something wrong, but because he didn’t think through the consequences of a shotgun marriage with a woman his family only tolerated.

There are people who are already alive that are going to be fucked up by this. There are going to be children forced into an existence barely built with them in mind if at all that are going to be fucked up by this

An I know there are a bunch of other aspects that I didn’t touch on but I’ve got a headache and I’ve been crying for twenty minutes now