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not-looking-for-happy · 4 years ago

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The Last Equation: Chapter 7 - The Family Meeting

Summary: A special family meeting, mainly because there are two special guests.

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It's only been an hour but Five almost feels at home at the professor's mansion house as soon as he witnessed the kind of relationship that Grei and his father have. He can't help but be envious of her because no matter how much he wishes to; he can never have that kind of relationship with his father. No matter how many memories he tries to remember, he can't find even a single moment that his father treated him and his siblings as his own.

As Grei and the professor are having a chat, she can't help but notice Five gazing into nothingness, his face with a glint of sadness.

"Hey, old man," Grei called Five when she noticed that he already finished drinking his coffee. "Want me to make some more coffee?"

"I'd appreciate it," Five replied with a smile as he tries his best to hide the hint of sadness in his face.

"Got it. I'll make another pot. I bet this will be one hell of a long night for all of us. I'll leave the two of you first to have some lovely chat," Grei said teasingly while she exits the room with the empty cups placed on a tray.

Five clears his throat as he tries to hide his embarrassment. This is the first time he will be all alone with Professor Wallace. After he time-traveled back to 2019, he can't help but feel that he has to take the lead because he's now the oldest among the siblings. It doesn't feel right that there is someone who's much more experienced than he is.

"I still can't believe it, after all," Professor Wallace whispered in a gentle voice.

Five's thoughts are abruptly put to a halt as soon he hears his voice. He can't look him in the eyes. Five has been used to dealing with repulsive adults, and meeting someone like Professor Wallace is a refreshing experience.

"When I thought you already died, I felt like I lost a son," Professor Wallace said.

Five is taken aback. He doesn't know how a person should react in this situation.

Oh god, if only Ben were here. What now? I don't know what to do with that information.

Seeing Five's scowled look, the professor smiles brightly at him.

"Oh, it's just that, you know, I was observing you for quite some time already. I knew you as one of the most well-trained assassins created by the Commission. Seeing you emerged as a young boy at present took me by surprise."

"You were observing me?"

"Yes! As I've told you before, I've been secretly gathering information I could get in the Commission to stop the apocalypse. Your betrayal to the organization became the headline news back there for quite some time. It caused quite an uproar; you see. It's hard to miss. And then it dawned to me, that maybe you're just like me – that you’re just biding your time.”

“When did you-?”

“As soon as I heard the news of your grand escape, I tried tracking the location of the tracker implanted in your body. And when I discovered the exact time and place you were in; I became sure that you’re trying to prevent the apocalypse from happening. I was planning to get in touch with you as soon as you arrived at your house but I was a bit too late. I thought it might not be a good idea to contact you in front of your family.”

Professor is about to say something more, but he stops and frowns as he tries to remember that day, he saw Five.

“What is it?” Five asked as he notices the professor’s sudden pained expression.

“I was happy for you. I’m well aware of your background Mr. Five – how you mistakenly jumped to the future and had to live there for 45 years. Seeing you finally united with your family after such a long time, I couldn’t bring myself to ruin it. I thought that now that you’re back with your family, you can stop the apocalypse from happening. I observed you for a few more days. You have finally convinced your family to help you with your mission and I thought I would just get in the way, but I was wrong.” Professor explained as tears begin to fall from his eyes.

“It was wrong of me to let you and your family handle the apocalypse all by yourselves. I could have helped you with every strength that I could muster. I became cowardly by shoving the responsibility of saving the whole world to you. And when I found out that the apocalypse did occur, I tried searching for you but your house was already in rubbles, the moon is gone and the whole world is a mess. I thought that this time, you died, together with your family.”

Five listens silently while staring into space. When the professor notices that he’s not planning on interrupting him, he moved on with his story.

“As soon as I found out that you were unsuccessful in preventing the apocalypse, I decided to take responsibility for saving the world. I continued gathering more information I could use to destroy the Commission. I began, once again, the things I’ve put on hold. I deeply regret it, Five. I regretted it that I wasn’t by your side and just ran away like that. I am truly sorry. I hope you’d find it in your heart to forgive me.”

“First of all, I don’t know why you’re apologizing to me. I don’t see a need for that,” Five finally spoke.

“But things would have been different if I – “

“We don’t have the time to think about the things that can no longer happen. What’s important is that my family is safe and we can still save the world. This time, you’ll be helping us. So, let’s just forget the past and get a grasp of things so we can decide what to do what’s best for the future,” Five interjected before the professor could finish talking.

“Ahh. At times like this, it feels like you are a 58-year old man,” Professor Wallace said with a smile as he wipes the tears off his face.

“I am 58 years old,” Five emphasized.

Grei, who’s listening outside the room smiles gently as soon as she heard that his father got the chance to apologize to Five, and probably, remove the guilt that’s been carried by his father. She goes back to the kitchen to get the coffee. As she enters the room, she acts flippantly as if pretending she never heard any of their conversations.

“Okay! So how about we set the schedule of when we’re going to meet your lovely siblings?” Grei exclaimed in a cheerful voice as she pours coffee on Five’s cup.

“We can meet tomorrow night; we’ll be having our family meeting,” Five replied.

He can’t admit it, but Grei’s coffee is so damn good.

She’d probably act high and mighty so I’ll just keep it to myself.

The three spend the whole night discussing Five’s ability and how to further enhance it. Not to mention, the professor gives Five a rough idea on how they’re going to take down the Commission. They went on for hours until they noticed that Grei has already fallen asleep.

“What do you plan to do with her?” Five asked while looking at the professor as he puts a warm blanket on her tiny body.

Professor Wallace is silent. He just smiles tenderly as he gazes at his daughter’s sleeping face.

“You’ve only given me vague answers on how you plan to take down the Commission. However, you already have a specific plan, haven’t you?”

“I can’t bear myself to involve my daughter into this mess any further. The less she knows, the safer she will be.”

“Then I guess we’d better hurry. It’s only a matter of time before the Commission will notice that I survived. I want to keep my family safe too. It will be better if we can proceed with the plan without the organization pointing their guns on the innocent.”

“You’re right. How about we discuss the actual plan in my office room? Let me show you all the information I’ve gathered so far.”

Five and the professor exit silently in the room so as not to wake Grei. The two of them were quiet as they walk along the corridor.

“This is one big house, Professor,” Five speaks, deciding to break the silence.

“I could say the same for you,” the professor replied.

“What can I say? My father's an eccentric billionaire.”

“Is he a good father?”

“It would be best if you would think of us not as a family. We’re more like gifted children gathered and taught by an eccentric genius. I’d like to think of him as a headmaster rather than a father.”

“Oh. Forgive me for asking that question. I didn’t know what kind of relationship you and your siblings have with your father. Curiosity got the better of me,” Professor replied as he scratches the back of his head.

“Well, if you want to know more about us, I can lend you my sister’s book. It’s all in there.” Five suggested.

“Your sister, you mean the one who – “

“Yeah. Her name’s Vanya. She received the worst treatment from our father. So, I really can’t blame her for writing that book. It’s pretty ballsy if you’d ask me.” Five said in a proud tone with a smirk on his face.

“Oh, we’ll probably need more coffee. Let me get some. You can go ahead. Straight down that hallway, then turn left.” Professor explained as he moves in the opposite direction.

“Professor Wallace…” Five called as soon as the thought crossed his mind. “The plan that you told me in front of Grei. I’ll tell that to my siblings as well. It’s just like you said, the lesser they know, the safer they will be. Although, in my case, they’d probably resent me for it.”

The professor smiles gently as he notices Five’s smile hinted with a pained expression.

“It’s painful but, you’d still push through with it, right?”

Five did not reply but his face says it all. Professor Wallace proceeds to the kitchen while Five went straight down the hallway. The day is almost over, however, for the two old men, their long night is just about to begin.

*******

The next morning arrives and the Hargreeves siblings went on with their daily lives like they always do. They’ve been back in the past for almost three weeks now and they already have a grasp once more of the things they’re doing back when they were kids.

They went on with their missions like they always do. They would still fight. Diego would still compete with Luther as who should be the leader. But this time, all these are just an act. Once left to their own devices, they would gather at Vanya’s room. They figured Vanya’s room would be the safest to conduct their family meetings because even though all their rooms are installed with surveillance cameras, their father could not be bothered by Vanya’s situation. Hence, they couldn’t be bothered by using their father’s cruelty against his.

For as long as they could find the time, they would train Vanya’s power secretly in the same basement where she was once kept by their father. At first, everyone was against it but Vanya insisted on it.

“If I can be calm in the place I least want to be, then that would be the best training for me,” Vanya explained with high determination. “Besides, I won’t be alone. You’re all gonna be there for me, right?”

With that, Vanya would continue to train her power together with her siblings. Luther, Diego, and Ben would alternate in training Vanya. Allison would always observe so that she can be there if Vanya ever feels scared. Klaus would visit from time to time. Rather than focusing on helping Vanya, he intends to help himself as well. Inspired by Vanya trying to overcome her fears, he felt that he should do the same as well. In just a few days, the day he feared the most is about to arrive, and knowing what’s about to happen doesn’t make him feel any better.

Diego, Allison, and Vanya are training in the basement. Allison silently reads a book while Diego is focused on instructing Vanya.

“Yes, that’s good. Keep it up. Think of happy things. And when you think you’re being bothered by negative thoughts, find your center. Think of the thing or person that is most important to you,” Diego instructed as Vanya tries her best to concentrate on converting smaller amounts of energy and redirecting it on the glasses located at a farther distance.

“Make it move. Do not try to break it,” Diego added. “Just relax.”

Vanya closes her eyes. She thinks of happy thoughts, and there, she finds it. As soon as she opens her eyes, the glasses have moved to the edge of the table.

“Great! You’re doing good. See? You can do it. I know that when it comes to precise control, I’m the best instructor, am I right?” Diego said with dignity as he gently taps Vanya’s shoulder. “How does it feel to use your power without making anything blow up?”

“It feels… awesome,” Vanya replied with a smile.

“You’ve been doing good with your training these days Vanya. I’m so happy for you,” Allison interjected as she joins in on their lively conversation.

“Yeah. I can’t believe I’m doing good. To be honest, I’m doing better than I thought I’d be,” Vanya responded happily.

“So, what were you thinking?” Diego asked.

“Just the fact that you’re all here to support and guide me.”

Diego and Allison smile at Vanya, too touched by her statement that they couldn’t say another word. They did not expect that Vanya could be this lively.

“And also…” Vanya added as she smiles shyly. “Five… He’ll be coming home tonight, right? For the family meeting?”

“Oh. Almost forgot about that.” Diego said sarcastically.

“Hey! How could you forget about Five? That’s not nice,” Vanya exclaimed.

“Vanya, I’m just kidding, alright? Calm down,” Diego replied with a smile on his face as she ruffles her hair.

In a few hours, Five will be coming home and Vanya can no longer wait to show him how much progress she’s made. She wants to use this opportunity for them to talk and said the things left unsaid the last time they had their family meeting. She’s hoping that tonight will not be the same as the last time.

*******

After dinner, everyone silently proceeds to their rooms. Five arrived a bit earlier than expected so he decided to hide in the library. As he jumps, he’s now with Professor Wallace and Grei.

“Okay, we’re here. We’re at our library right now. Fortunately, there are no surveillance cameras installed here so you just need to be quiet. Just read some books while I’m gone. I’ll explain to them first before I introduced both of you to my brothers and sisters,” Five whispered to make sure that they will not be heard outside.

“Your library is amazing Five, I’ll read as many books as I can so take your time talking to your siblings. Have some nice little chat. I’m sure they’ve missed you as much as you missed them,” Grei replied as she walks towards a bookshelf.

“Ha-ha. Very funny,” Five said sarcastically as he jumps directly outside the library.

“He’s not being honest, is he?” Grei said.

“Give him some time. He’s been stuck in human less earth for 45 years. He’ll get there. Eventually,” Professor Wallace responded while looking at a book that she picked up.

*******

After exiting the library, Five went straight ahead to Vanya’s room. He knocks gently and the door opens on his third knock.

“Five! You’re early. Welcome back.” Vanya greeted as she smiles brightly at her brother.

“Yeah. You look happy.” Five replied while entering Vanya’s room.

“Where are the others?”

“They’ll be here in a few more minutes.”

“I see.” Five responded as he walks toward the side table.

“Are you looking for the note you’ve left behind?” Vanya asked as she notices Five looking for something.

“You’ve read it?”

Vanya did not answer but just smiled. As Five is about to speak, Ben suddenly arrives with the note clutched in his hand.

“I knew you’ve arrived. I heard Vanya’s happy voice,” Ben interrupted.

“Well, at least my note was read by my intended recipients.” Five said, noticing the note on Ben's hands.

“How about the three of us talk first while the others are not yet around?” Vanya hastened to interject.

“You know what, Vanya, that’s a good idea.” Ben agreed with a smile.

“Okay, I’m listening.” Five replied.

“We’re not angry, Five. Vanya and I talked and we understand now. So, we just want to say that you have our support.” Ben said calmly as he looks at Vanya.

“Yeah. But we’re still worried, and we can’t help it right? We’ve lost you once and we don’t want that to happen again.” Vanya added.

“I understand. I’ll be careful.” Five answered, his voice gentle.

Ben and Vanya smile at each other. Five was about to say something more when they heard footsteps coming from the corridor.

“Hey. Hey. Hey. What’s with this secret meeting, huh?” Klaus asked sleepily as he enters the room.

“Klaus, shush. Pogo or Mom might hear you,” Allison whispered.

“So, everyone’s gathered now. Hi, Five, did you miss us?” Diego asked sarcastically.

“Come on, Diego. Even if he missed us, he’d never tell us.” Luther replied on Five’s behalf as he closes the door behind them.

Five shakes his head and decides not to argue with his brothers since it will only be a waste of time.

“Guys, before we proceed with tonight’s family meeting, there’s someone I’d like you to meet,” Five spoke.

As soon as the siblings hear Five’s statement, everyone stares at the boy with a questioning look.

“Oh my god, Five. Did you find a girlfriend as early as now? Is she about your body’s age? Or is she about your actual age? Or wait, maybe, she’s a ‘he’? We won’t judge, we’re all open-minded people here,” Klaus asked nonchalantly.

“What are you talking about? Are you drunk? I thought you’ve been sobering up.” Five answered as he stares intently at Klaus.

“I’m not drunk, just sleepy. You see, it’s past our bedtime.”

“Okay, Klaus. Enough about that. Why don’t you sit first so we can continue with the serious talk?” Luther butted in as he notices that the conversation is going nowhere.

“The one you’d like us to meet, is that the person you’re looking for?” Ben asked.

“Yes. It’s not someone, more like, some people.” Five replied.

Five notices that everyone is now listening so he continues.

“I’ll go get them first.” Five said as he immediately vanished into thin air.

“Okay, go a– “

Allison’s voice was interrupted as soon as three people suddenly appear in the room.

“What the hell?” Klaus blurted as he hugs Vanya tightly.

“Oops. Sorry,” Grei apologized.

“That’s one hell of a ride. Can’t get used to it,” Professor Wallace gasped.

“Guys, this is Professor Wallace. He’s the person I’ve been looking for. This is Grei, she’s his daughter. They’re the ones helping me with perfecting my calculations. What I just did was the result of their assistance,” Five explained briefly.

“Uh… Hi everyone. I’m Grei and it’s very nice to meet all of you,” Grei interrupted.

“And I’m Professor Hansel Wallace, like what Five said,” the professor responded merrily as he looks around the room to see all of Five's siblings.

“Professor Wallace, Grei, this is Klaus, Luther, Diego, and Ben. They’re my brothers. This is Vanya and this is Allison. They’re my sisters.”

“Hi, Professor. Hi, Grei. I’m Klaus. And it’s a pleasure to meet you. So, when is the wedding?” Klaus asked happily.

“Klaus!” all the siblings responded.

“Klaus, you’re very funny. I like you.” Grei replied while laughing.

“Oh. So, no wedding then.” Klaus said dejectedly.

“Okay, jokes aside. I just let you meet them so you’re aware that there will be people who will be accompanying me as soon as I take you back to the current time. Any more questions?” Five asked as if in a hurry.

“They’re going back already? They’re not staying?” Klaus asked.

“No, and so am I. I’m staying with them,” Five replied. “Any other questions that make sense?”

“When are you coming back? Can you visit us from time to time?” Vanya inquired while raising her hand, looking at Grei.

“Oh. I’m sorry that today’s meeting is a bit short. It’s not a good idea to stay for too long. We could meet next time. I’ll just ask your brother to bring me here,” Grei replied happily.

“Can you stop treating me like your private ride?” Five interrupted.

“So, they do have chemistry,” Diego concluded as he silently watches the funny scene unfold in front of him.

“Since there are no more questions, they’ll be taking their leave now. I’ll be escorting them back. Luther, just see to it they won’t do anything stupid until I’m back, okay?”

“Gotcha.”

“Goodbye, guys. I’ll see you around,” Grei spoke as she waves goodbye.

“See you next time,” Ben replied with a smile.

Then, in a blink of an eye. Professor Wallace, Grei, and Five disappeared.

“At least, this time, Five is not alone,” Ben said in a soothing voice.

Everyone falls silent as they internally agreed with Ben’s thinking. As soon as the atmosphere turns serious, Luther decides to begin their family meeting. Five went back after five minutes and he discussed briefly the professor’s plan in destroying the Commission.

“This plan. Two people will not be enough to get this done in that short amount of time.” Ben concluded.

“I’ll be recruiting at least two more people.” Five answered.

“Who are you going to recruit?” Luther inquired.

“Just some people. I’ll let you know once I have them at my side. Any more questions?”

“Just promise us that you’ll be careful?” Vanya added.

“I will. I promise.” Five replied in a serious tone as he looks at every one of his siblings. “I guess that’s it for tonight, then. I’ll see you all at our next family meeting.”

“Got it. See you around, kiddo.” Diego spoke as he carries the now-sleeping Klaus.

Luther and Ben followed Diego as they said their goodbyes to Five. As soon as the boys were all back to their rooms, Allison moves towards Five.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” Allison asked.

“What’s this about?” Five asked as he looks at Vanya to check if Vanya knows what Allison is talking about.

Vanya just gazed silently at the two, unaware of the situation.

“This is about Klaus,” Allison explained as she looks towards Vanya and Five. “You probably no longer remembered but, Klaus will be locked up again in that mausoleum in two days. Can I ask you to be there for him on that night, Five? He’s trying his best to stay sober. He’s doing good. I’m just afraid that night might be a trigger for him to revert to drugs and alcohol. He’s not saying anything but, I know he’s bothered by it. He’s traumatized.”

“I’ll take care of that,” Five responded. “Thanks for letting me know.”

“Thanks too, Five. Good night, have a good sleep.”

Allison goes back to her room and now, Vanya is left alone with Five.

“You did great on your training. I would have wanted to see it.” Five said.

“Everyone’s trying their best. It would be a shame if I won’t do my part,” Vanya replied as she smiles shyly.

“It’s gonna be alright. Just keep it up,” Five said as he pats Vanya’s head. “I’ll be going on ahead. See you around.”

“Yeah. Take care of yourself,” Vanya replied.

Five is about to jump when Ben suddenly appears on Vanya’s doorsteps.

“Good thing I’m not late,” Ben said as he looks around. “Listen, Five, about Klaus, in two days – “

“I know,” Five interrupted. “I’ll be there. As it turns out, you’re not the only one concerned.”

Five smiles at Ben as he taps his shoulder. "This time, I’ll be going now."

“Good night, bro. And please, do get some sleep. You’re like a walking zombie,” Ben added.

“I will… try my best.” Five answered as he vanished into thin air.

“He’s not sleeping properly, is he?” Vanya asked Ben.

“Don’t worry about it. I think those two people he introduced can be trusted.”

“I think so too. I felt it, you know, their warmth. It’s radiating in the entire room. And how they act with Five back then, like he’s included in their family. I want to meet them again, especially Grei. I’d like to talk to her some more.”

“Well, I’m just glad you like them. Take some rest now. You’re probably tired of your training.”

“I will. Good night, Ben.” Vanya whispered as she lays to sleep.

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partsofthemachine · 5 years ago

Note

For the meta memes: one of the Umbrella Academy kids + your saddest Thought about them.

I feel like you know me well enough to know that this was going to be just a big wall of sad that I’m mostly putting under the cut.

The Hargreeves in General: Empathy is a learned behavior and it’s not one that Reggie the Dick put a lot (or any) time and effort into teaching his children. So for the most part they learned how to be empathetic and how to communicate with other people from TV It’s the primary reason their communication with each other is so strained and assholeish; because no one TV cares about real emotions. And you just have theses seven people who barely know how to name their own emotions much less deal with each other’s emotions.

Also, the fact they learned communication from TV is a large part of the reason they refer to each other by nicknames like “bro” and “sis.” It’s very common on TV, and decidedly less so in the real world where you’re not constantly establishing your relationship for an audience. The even sadder part of that is that they just didn’t have names until they were 13, and then it was only on the advice of a PR team. In a lot of ways, their numbers feel like their actual names and their names feel like affectionate nicknames which is also why they never shorten them. (For example, it’s always Allison and never Ally.)

Luther: Honestly? Luther has always known on some level that everything Reggie put him through was complete and total bullshit. There’s really no way around it. He knows what he went through, he saw what his siblings went through. And all of it is bullshit. But Luther has to psych himself up and convince himself that it’s for the greater good, that there is a reason for all of this because otherwise it’s just his father wasting his entire life. And it’s him being too afraid to ever step out that door without a mission, without a plan and start any sort of life.

Naturally, his depression from this sort of isolation and arrested development was at its worst on the moon. It started very early when he could no longer convince himself that the “care” packages coming late or short on food wasn’t a simple mistake but a sign of how little Reginald actually cared about Luther or the “mission.” In order to convince himself that it mattered, that he had to get out of bed every morning, Luther named the plant he was studying Ben because he just fucking misses his dead brother and because he has a lot of guilt over how Ben died. Ben the plant didn’t survive the trip back to earth and, in a lot of ways, neither did Luther’s motivation to keep going. If he hadn’t been thrown immediately into mission mode (the funeral, the murder mystery, the Apocalypse), there’s a good chance he just would’ve stopped doing anything.

Diego: The deep, dark truth is that Diego feels like he’s the least essential person in the Academy. Throwing knives and holding his breath are not particularly useful powers. No one needs him in a fight, and certainly not as much as he needs to be in the fight. As much as he thrives on fighting, on being constantly in motion, on moving towards some nebulous something. Honestly, he genuinely believes that if he stops moving, stops fighting, he’ll just break.

That’s also why, even if he’s not the best at showing it, Diego is the one most concerned with his other siblings’ mental health. He’s aggressive and loud and even violent about it, but he is doing is level best to try and check in with Luther and Klaus (and Vanya that one time but he made her cry and run away). Because his brothers stopped and it broke them. And maybe he can fuel all that driving and fight from feeling inessential into something that’s truly useful for them as a family if they’re not a team anymore.

Allison: Real talk, Allison never actually got her way with her father. That was a story her siblings concocted due to her powers: her ability to get anyone to do anything she wanted as easy as breathing. And because there was perception that Reggie went easy on her in training, that he was more lax with the rules when it came to her. From the outside looking in, with all the dark thoughts they had about each other and Allison’s casual callousness, it was easy to be convinced that she somehow got special treatment.

The painful truth, however, is that Reggie had little to no use for daughters. Allison got off better than Vanya because her power was useful and she was a more focused toddler. Because Allison has always been focused. Ambitious. She saw what she want and she went after it. And what she wanted more than anything was to be Number One. Was to come out on top. Nothing she could do, though, could dislodge Luther and Diego from their places, and she knew that her place was only safe as long as Klaus was popping pills or Five was being defiant or Ben was too soft. So Allison took that pain and frustration and disappointment out on her brothers and let them just believe she was cold and heartless and that she got whatever she wanted.

Klaus: The reason that Klaus is significantly more tactile than his siblings is because he’s genuinely not sure if they’re ghosts or not. With the sole exception of Allison, Klaus has seen every single one of his siblings as a ghost. Klaus tried opening up to Diego once and only once. But because Klaus has been consistently lying about being able to see Ben’s ghost and none of their other siblings have died, Diego convinced Klaus to check himself into a psychiatric hospital for the first time. So Klaus is just torn between thinking his siblings might be ghosts and thinking he is genuinely crazy.

For a kicker, the fact he’s never seen Allison’s ghost makes it even harder on Klaus. Of all their siblings, Allison has come the closest to actually dying in front of him. Klaus has held her while she bled out from losing her arm and from having her throat slit. And he’s never seen her ghost. Not once. When he’s most cogent about it, he thinks that it’s because Allison is a miracle, she came to the edge of death and pulled herself back. But, sometimes, Klaus convinces himself she was never real at all and that’s why she can never be a ghost, why she can never stay wit him.

Five: Okay. There’s nothing really sadder about Five’s life than what’s already explicitly canon. But, listen. I think a lot about the fact that he isn’t really a person anymore. Five has spent so many years in isolation and sacrificed so many pieces of his soul to save his siblings that he doesn’t really actually know how to function in society. And it was fine when there was an actual mission he was working towards: stopping the Apocalypse.

The real problem is when there’s no long an apocalypse to think about. He spent so many decades trying to save his siblings that he has no idea how to actually live with them. They are entirely different people than the people he left and he doesn’t know how to function living with them in the mansion. And it’s not like any of them ever learned how to meet people or make friends. So it’s just this really painful thing that everything he worked for feels futile because the people he was trying to save were gone as soon as he was. But they’re also still there in a way if he can just figure it out.

Ben: Extremely unpopular opinion time. I think Ben deeply resents Klaus. It doesn’t bubble up very often because, on the whole, he’s trying to let that stuff go. An eternity is a long time to hold onto the grudges and petty bullshit that so plague the Hargreeves’ existence. So he taught himself how to let go of hurt feelings, mostly by attending rehab and support group meetings with Klaus.

But the thing that’s hardest to let go of is the fact that Klaus lied to their siblings. For five years. Years where the only thing Ben wanted was to be able to communicate with his siblings, to check up on them, to make sure they were okay. And instead of doing this one little thing for him, Klaus tried to drug him away with all the rest of the ghosts. Klaus openly and blatantly lied to his siblings for years that he couldn’t see ghosts anymore. That he couldn’t see Ben’s ghost. It kills Ben to be so close and so far at the same time and he has a hard time forgiving Klaus for the lastest and sustained bullshit.

Vanya: I want to bring in a piece of comics canon that didn’t traumatize me as much as what Allison went through, but is still something I think about a lot. When Vanya was seventeen, she was sent to a music conservatory in Paris on her own. This was only weeks after Allison left and basically came across as Reggie was just done trying to deal with his daughters at all. Because Reggie was just trying to wash his hands of daughters.

It’s honestly a very bittersweet time for Vanya. On the one hand, she was fully immersed in the one thing she’s passionate about and actually feels good doing. But, on the other hand, it was the first time Vanya ever truly felt lonely. Because she had six siblings on top of her growing up and even though they weren’t close to her, it didn’t feel hollow and empty and painful. Her time at the conservatory was definitely the darkest her depression has ever gotten and she actually felt better just being back in the same city as most of her siblings made her feel so much better and safe in a strange way, even if they’re still separated.

#headcanons: luther hargreeves #headcanons: diego hargreeves #headcanons: allison hargreeves #headcanons: klaus hargreeves #headcanons: five hargreeves #headcanons: ben hargreeves #headcanons: vanya hargreeves #;; 'cause i've been living where the black meets the blue (luther hargreeves)#;; i need to move i need to fight i need to lose myself tonight (diego hargreeves)#;; all the glamour and the trauma and the fucking melodrama (allison hargreeves)#;; champagne cocaine gasoline and most things in between (klaus hargreeves)#;; run boy run this world is not made for you (five hargreeves)#;; well you can never know the places that i go (ben hargreeves)#;; you're ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece (vanya hargreeves)#;; now i see you in our old home where i'm always afraid to go (the hargreeves)#| well this took a thousand years and i hurt but here we are

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jvc-yearofservice · 5 years ago

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8/25/19 - 9/2/19

Last Sunday, we were invited to one housemate's boss's enormous and lush country home, which had a great pool. Some of the other Mercy volunteers were there as well and were super friendly. The way to the estate was pretty hilarious. First, our car stalled out, and then the supervisor gave us the most confusing directions ever. She initially sped off super far away on the highway even though she knew we were following her. Then she called us and said she was actually in back of us on the highway and that we should pull off at the nearest exit. Once we exited the highway, she called us and said she was actually in front of us the entire time, so we had to get back on the freeway. We originally really wanted to put the address into the GPS in case we got lost while following her (which we did), but she insisted that the address wouldn't show up on the GPS which was pretty sketchy. After getting off the highway a second time and following her down a dirt path, I joked about how she might be luring us to a killing field. This woman apparently bought her sprawling estate with all her divorce settlement money and paid for the property in cash, which I thought was pretty impressive. One of her employees who was a former member of the addiction treatment program joined us and had an "IAmSober" license plate, which I thought was funny.

I've decided to create an Instagram account (@everyday_mustardseed) with pictures uploaded every day that I work there. Work has been pretty nuts lately. Firstly, we doubled the student population overnight (originally 10, now 21 kids)-largest ever has been either 40-60 kids at once. I finally got to meet the LCSW who works there full-time, and she seems pretty nice and helpful for resolving all the trauma in the children. One day in particular was kind of grueling because a parent was nearly an hour late to pick up their kids. We have a protocol at the school that if a child/children are not picked up within a certain amount of time after school ends, then we have to legally call the police, which I really dreaded doing. Thankfully, the parents showed up after some time, which was a godsend because I could only watch so many old episodes of Wishbone with them while they repeatedly asked me where their mom was. I can't imagine the abandonment issues that these kids experience as compared to how I felt whenever my mom was even a fraction of a minute late when I was a kid (and she gave me no reason to feel that way). I've also assisted in compiling files for the intake forms, and I have been taking pictures of the kids for their files which has been surprisingly cute and wholesome. One little girl, however, tried to throw a gang sign in her picture, but I (very gently) grabbed her hand to hide it before the picture was taken.

I've noticed some very peculiar behaviors in the children at the school. For example, many sibling groups act very close and are almost at odds with the other sibling groups, as if they were engaged in turf wars, but I think this is another coping mechanism. I feel so sorry for the children who have no siblings since they are pretty much alone and unprotected from the other children's bullying. Many of the kids have expressed not wanting to leave at dismissal and feeling sad when the weekend approaches and school isn't in session. One of my co-workers has a theory about the children's behavior. He thinks that the most well-behaved children are the ones who are the most chronically homeless and more used to it due to them being so grateful for everything they are given, whereas the unrulier kids are newly exposed to the homeless lifestyle which is why they are acting out. One of the teachers spoke about how the more chronically homeless kids are "starved for knowledge" and relish any learning in the classroom.

A second car driven by a housemate has bitten the dust (the one that stalled on the way to the supervisor's estate on Sunday). It's unfortunate because this means we are even more restricted in terms of going places and visiting other JVC houses.

A fun community night activity took place this week, where we all shared our love language, Myers-Briggs personalities, enneagram numbers, and zodiac sign. My love language is acts of service/devotion, I am INFJ, Type 1, and a Gemini-Cancer cusp. So far, I have learned that there are the following zodiac signs in the house: Gemini-Cancer cusp, Pisces, Sagittarius, Taurus, Scorpio, Libra, and Aquarius. The personality types are: 1 INFJ (Advocate), 1 ENTJ (Commander), 2 ENFJ (Protagonist), and 3 ENFP (campaigner). The most common love language are: 5 quality time, 5 words of affirmation, 3 acts of service/devotion, 1 physical touch, and 1 gifts.

A little bit of scandalous news-apparently the JVC stipend is and has been too small for some time. It is a well-known secret in JVC history that many volunteers have side-jobs to make more money than just the monthly stipend. I remember hearing that my dad had a $100 stipend each month, which is kind of strange since that means the stipend has not been adjusted for inflation (aka it's much more expensive to exist today compared to back then). Additionally, California is notoriously expensive, so I'm wondering if the JVC should have made financial changes for stipends depending on how expensive the cost of living is in each city (for example, $100 a month would get you much further in Scranton than Sacramento). Furthermore, apparently the Jesuit Volunteer Corps of Northwest gives their volunteers $300 each month and has much better housing accommodations.

This weekend, we drove to Oakland/Berkeley, California, and stayed over at the JV house there. The party on Saturday was 60's/70's theme, and a couple other JV houses from around California came to stay over as well. We got there via car from a former JV and another car that a co-worker rented for us. Then, all together, we traveled to Baker Beach in San Francisco, where we sat on the beach, and I even saw a dead sea lion on the beach, which was understandably gross. P.S. part of the beach was nude which was super unexpected. When we were getting the alcohol for the party at the JV house, we were walking out of CVS, and a bunch of the worst-disguised undercover cops were waiting to card us again on the side walk. Gladly, we handed over our IDs, and one cop even asked one of us who the governor of Wisconsin is (none of us knew). When they were looking at my ID, the cop turned to me and asked suddenly "What year did you graduate high school?" and I immediately answered "2014". He gave it back to me reluctantly, and much to the horror of my housemates, I asked him, "Are you sure you don't want to check it again? I could be lying." That Saturday night, a couple of us went to Taco Bell after the party, and one of my housemates cracked a beer open in line there, and the poor cashier had to ask him to finish it, so he very unapologetically chugged it in front of everyone inside the Taco Bell, which was hilarious. On Friday, we attended a baseball game between the Sacramento Wild Cats and whatever the team name is of San Diego. We won, and there were fireworks, but more importantly, I got to drive an electric car for the first time ever (a fiat)!

Lastly, a funny story that I was told this week during community dinner involved a man who told everyone that he was married to a key chain. Since the person who told the story works at a mental health facility, they were not too disturbed by this fact, but they were surprised when eventually the man who was apparently married to a key chain brought in an actual wife one day (who or what is the key chain???)! Another funny occurrence happened to my housemate who works in a kindergarten classroom. They were in the middle of a lesson, and one child raised their hand. The teacher called on them, and they said simply, "My birthday was on Friday." The teacher replied, "I know. We celebrated." She waited a moment and then said, "Anything else?" and the student said "No." I laugh every time I think of this story.

Peace and blessings,

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estelagellison9 · 6 years ago

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Ohio Saving Lives With Project DAWN (Deaths Avoided With Naloxone)

New Post has been published on https://www.therecover.com/ohio-saving-lives-with-project-dawn-deaths-avoided-with-naloxone/

Ohio Saving Lives With Project DAWN (Deaths Avoided With Naloxone)

During the nations worst drug and public health crisis, a new report from Ohio county is dramatically lowering the number of opioid related overdoses. As reported by CBS, the number of overdose deaths have reduced by 31 percent in Hamilton County, including areas in Cincinnati. The report also included a 42-percent drop in emergency room visits. Health experts credit the new program that will give away the over-dose-reversal drug Narcan for no cost.

According to CBS News, 115 American die every day from an Opioid-related death. Don Dahler a reporter for CBS and his team traveled to Hamilton County to speak with people who are dealing with the crisis first hand.

A local from the county Kathie Mead shared her story with reports saying, “It’s just heartbreaking what’s going on out there, and it’s got to stop… It’s an awful thing for a mom to go through.” Her daughter Amy, struggled with an addiction from age 14-30.

“Every time my phone would ring, I would think, ‘Is this a coroner’s office calling for me to come and identify her body?‘” Mead said.

Amy Parker, Mead’s daughter, even admitted to using the drug while carrying her child, Chloe.

Amy said, “They finally decided that the right thing to do and the best thing for her was for me to sign away my parental rights.”

However, Chloe isn’t the only one suffering from addiction, more than 2.5 million children are living with grandparents because of a parent’s addiction.

“It makes me feel sad because—that she wasn’t really around for most of my life. And, well, she missed out on important milestones,” said Chloe “It’s hard for me to look at photos of her when she was young because I wasn’t there… when she took her first steps. I wasn’t there when she started school,” Parker said.

Tim Ingram, the Hamilton County public health commissioner, believes opioid addiction has become a “huge problem” in the surrounding areas. The state of Ohio had 4,854 accidental drug overdose deaths last year with 444 of those being in Hamilton County.

Ingram struggled to answer his own question of, “How are we going to… keep people alive… until they’re ready for treatment?”

The solution? An opioid-reversal drug known as Narcan, which can revive the patient within seconds.

Since last year, the program which distributes Narcan has handed out more than 37,000 Narcan doses to the public for little to no cost.

“We got this idea… ‘What would happen if we saturated the community, removed the cost, used data to put Narcan out in as many hands as possible?'” Ingram said.

Since the program’s debut Project Dawn , overdose-related deaths have decreased by 31 percent and emergency room runs dropped to almost 40 percent. Reporters who saw the program in action with a team of first responders in Hamilton County said that last year, they saw around eight overdose calls a day. This year, that dropped to about five, and the day that CBS was on the scene, they reported: zero.

A doctor who helped institute the Narcan distribution collaborative, Dr. Shawn Ryan said 75% of his patients with severe opioid addictions were once saved by Narcan. Ryan claims, “It’s a potential that almost none of those people would have made it to treatment if they hadn’t had Narcan available.”

Parker was given a second chance because of Narcan. She has been sober for around six years and now believes she can help others in recovery.

In conclusion to the interview, Parker said “I wonder, you know, ‘Why me? Why did I get to go through all of that? Why did I get to survive?’ And I know that it’s because I have a message,’” “There is hope through this.”

“If I had to go through that to get to this, I’d do it every day,” Mead said, choking up with emotion. “I just can’t tell you how proud—”

“That overdose saved my life,” Parker argued.

Mead believes, “Instead of ending it, it started it.”

The life-saving drug Narcan contains the medicine naloxone. Which targets the brain in order to reverse and block the effects of opioids. Naloxone does not reverse overdoses that are caused by non-opioid drugs, such as cocaine, benzodiazepines (e.g., Xanex, Klonopin and Valium), methamphetamines or alcohol. Narcan can be found at any pharmacy without a prescription. Many insurance companies will cover the cost and in some areas it is free.

The Recover is an unbiased substance abuse and mental health news provider. Helping individuals looking for the right treatment programs in their area. Also providing information on Ohio drug rehab centers for addiction recovery.

Author: Mckenzie Santa Maria

Organization: TheRecover.com

Address: 402 West Broadway, #400, San Diego, CA 9210

Phone: (888) 510-3898

Source: The Recover News Room

from The Recover https://ift.tt/2QBX2oz

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therecoversite · 6 years ago

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Ohio Saving Lives With Project DAWN (Deaths Avoided With Naloxone)

New Post has been published on https://www.therecover.com/ohio-saving-lives-with-project-dawn-deaths-avoided-with-naloxone/

Ohio Saving Lives With Project DAWN (Deaths Avoided With Naloxone)

“Every time my phone would ring, I would think, ‘Is this a coroner’s office calling for me to come and identify her body?'” Mead said.