#it’s like we’re on the teacup ride at the carnival !

[bunny-hwa]

Popular, Boy

☆06: The first move.

Pairing: Nerd!Hongjoong x Popular!Reader

Genre: +18, slow burn, angst, smut, drama, dark academic, love triangle.

wc: 10,8k

Summary: You and Hongjoong grow closer, but in your world, trust is a dangerous thing. Mike's cruelty lingers, and in the shadows, a plan unfolds... One designed to break you.

Break your heart, and make you question everything... especially Hongjoong.

Warnings: Verbal abuse, past trauma (?), power dynamics, fluff, suggestive.

Series masterlist

☆05 ☆07: The first breakdown.

The low rumble of the engine fills the quiet evening air as you glance out the window. The car is nothing like the sleek, expensive vehicles sitting in your family’s garage. It’s modest, a little old, and the faint smell of worn leather lingers in the air.

“You borrowed this from your dad?” You ask, raising an eyebrow as you turn to Hongjoong.

He shrugs, his hands gripping the steering wheel with a mix of focus and nervousness. “Yeah. Figured it’s better than taking the bus.”

The bus? Hell no, you have never been in one and you hope it never happens.

You glance at him, a small, amused smirk playing on your lips. The whole thing is… endearing in a way you don’t expect.

“So, are you going to tell me where we’re going?” You cross your legs and adjust your pink leather jacket.

“Nope.” His lips quirk into a smile, but he keeps his eyes on the road “Just sit back and enjoy the ride, pretty.”

You roll your eyes but don’t press further. There’s something about his excitement that keeps your curiosity piqued.

When the car finally comes to a stop, you step out and immediately catch the sound of distant laughter and the faint scent of fried food in the air. Turning toward the neon-lit entrance ahead, your brows knit together.

“An amusement park?” Your voice is tinged with surprise.

Hongjoong steps around to your side, his hands in his pockets and a slightly nervous look on his face.

“You said you’d never been to one, so…” He gestures toward the brightly lit rides.

You glance down at your outfit—high heel boots, a sleek skirt, and your leather jacket—then back at him.

“And you didn’t think to mention that I might want to dress for this?”

He grins, his nervousness fading into a playful confidence “You’ll be fine. You look beautiful and you could rock a runway in a park if you wanted to.”

You shake your head, unable to suppress a smile “Fine. Lead the way.”

The ticket booth is up ahead, and you instinctively reach for your purse, already accustomed to paying for yourself—and for others. But before you can even unzip it, Hongjoong steps forward, pulling out his wallet.

“Two adults, please.” He says, handing over the cash.

You blink, momentarily stunned. People don’t usually pay for you. They just assume you’ll foot the bill, given your family’s wealth. But here Hongjoong is, without hesitation, handling everything.

“Thanks.” You say, your voice softer than usual.

He shoots you a small, reassuring smile “It’s a date, isn’t it?”

The park is alive with energy—bright lights, music, and the unmistakable hum of excitement in the air. You’re not sure what to expect, but as the night unfolds, you find yourself swept up in the moment.

Hongjoong pulls you from ride to ride, his enthusiasm contagious. You scream on the roller coasters, laugh uncontrollably on the spinning teacups, and you surprise yourself by enjoying the bumper cars, laughing uncontrollably as Hongjoong tried—and failed—to outmaneuver you.

Hongjoong made a great effort to win a small stuffed bunny at one of the carnival games, he handed it to you with a triumphant grin.

“For you,” He says, holding it out.

“Seriously?” You ask, but there is no hiding the smile that tug at your lips “It’s so tacky.”

“Tacky but adorable, just like you.” He counters with a pretty smile.

And you find yourself clutching the fluffy bunny tightly as you continue through the park.

At the snack stand, you try to insist on paying, but Hongjoong beats you to it again, handing over the cash before you can protest.

“You’re really committed to this, huh?” You tease.

He shrugs, offering you a bag of popcorn “I like treating you. You’re worth it.”

The words catch you off guard, leaving a strange warmth in their wake. You look at him, the boyish grin on his face, and wonder how he can be so… genuine.

As the day turns into evening, the park’s lights flicker on, casting a magical glow over everything. You stand in line for the carousel, the soft music adding a nostalgic charm.

You climb into one of the ornate horses, your laughter echoing as Hongjoong chooses the one beside you.

“You’re having fun, admit it.” He says, his voice filled with mock accusations.

You tilt your head, a playful smirk on your lips “Maybe a little.”

The carousel begins to move, and for a moment, you let yourself get lost in the moment. The weight of your pride, your fears, and the persona you had carefully crafted seems to fade.

It’s just you and Hongjoong, spinning in a world that feels oddly perfect.

As the evening wears on, you realize something else—you’re having fun. Real, uncomplicated fun. It’s a feeling you’re not used to, and it’s equal parts exhilarating and terrifying.

When you finally board the Ferris wheel, the city sprawls out below you, glittering in the night. The car sways gently, and Hongjoong’s arm rests casually on the back of your seat.

“You’ve been quiet,” He glances at you “What’s on your mind?”

You hesitate, your fingers toying with the hem of your jacket “I guess… I’m not used to this.”

“To what?”

“To someone doing all of this just for me.” You admit, your voice barely above a whisper.

He looks at you, his expression softening “You deserve it, pretty. All of it.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, unsure of how to respond. The gnawing doubt in the back of your mind refuses to let go.

What if this isn’t real? What if he’s just playing along, trying to climb some invisible ladder to the top?

The Ferris wheel car rocks gently as it halts at the top, giving you a perfect view of the glowing amusement park below. The world feels smaller up here, the laughter and music from the park blending into a soft hum. But your focus isn’t on the view.

Hongjoong’s hand brushes against yours, hesitant yet deliberate “YN,” He begins, his voice soft but firm, breaking the fragile silence. You turn to him, caught off guard by the serious tone in his voice “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” His eyes locking onto yours “Something I should’ve said a long time ago.”

You blink, unsure of where he’s going with this “What is it?”

He exhales deeply, running a hand through his hair “Do you remember the first time we met? On the first day of college?”

You frown slightly, trying to recall “I remember you asking me for a pen and I told you not to speak to me again and get lost.” Both of you chuckle at the memory “You were… different back then.”

He smiles faintly, though there’s a sadness to it “I was, and I remember everything about that moment. How you walked into the lecture hall like you owned the place, and every single person in the room noticed you. Including me.”

You tilt your head, curious now.

“I knew I didn’t stand a chance,” He continues, his voice quiet “You were… YN. Popular, beautiful, confident—everything I wasn’t. But I couldn’t stop thinking about you. And I guess, in some way, I thought if I could change myself, maybe you’d notice me.”

“Change yourself?” You echo, your brow furrowing.

He nods, a faint, self-deprecating chuckle escaping his lips “The clothes, the hair, trying to fit in with your world—it was all for you. Even when I begged you to make me popular, it wasn’t really about the popularity. I just wanted to be enough for you. To have a chance with you.”

His words hit you like a wave, and for a moment, you don’t know what to say.

“You hated me back then.” You murmur, though your voice lacks conviction.

“I didn’t hate you,” He says firmly, his gaze unwavering “I hated how you treated me sometimes, yeah. But I didn’t hate you. How could I, when I was in love with you?”

Your breath catches “In love with me?”

“Since that first day,” Hongjoong admits, his voice barely above a whisper “It didn’t matter that you barely knew I existed. It didn’t matter how hard it was to watch you humiliate me or use me as a punchline. I just wanted you to notice me, YN. Even if it hurts.”

A lump forms in your throat as you stare at him. His words are raw, honest, and so unlike the Kim Hongjoong you’ve grown accustomed to.

“Hongjoong…” You trail off, your voice faltering.

He shakes his head, his hand tightening around yours.

“I know how it sounds. And I get it if you don’t feel the same way. But I had to tell you. Because all of this? It’s real for me. You’re real for me.”

You feel your chest tighten, the weight of his confession pressing down on you. Part of you wants to believe him, to let yourself fall into the warmth of his feelings, but the doubts linger.

“What if…” You begin, your voice trembling “What if you’re wrong? What if this isn’t real?”

“I’m not wrong,” He says with quiet determination “And I’ll prove it to you, pretty. Every day, if I have to.”

His words stir something deep inside you, but the echoes of your brother’s voice resurface: ‘Once the thrill of the game wears off, they’ll both be exactly where they belong—crumbling.’

You bite your lip, trying to suppress the turmoil within you.

“I don’t know if I can trust this.”

Hongjoong leans closer, his eyes searching yours “You don’t have to trust it all at once. Just… let me show you. Let me prove to you that I’m not going anywhere.”

For a moment, you hesitate, your heart warring with your mind. But then, as if on instinct, you lean in and press your lips to his.

The kiss is soft at first, tentative, but then it deepens, his hands cupping your face as yours find their way to his shoulders. For a moment, the world around you disappears, leaving only the warmth of his touch and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

When you finally pull away, breathless and flushed, Hongjoong’s eyes are wide, his expression filled with awe.

“Does this mean that we are…?”

“It means,” You interrupt, your voice trembling but steady “That I’m giving you a chance to prove it, then we discuss what will happen. Don’t make me regret it.”

He smiles, the kind of smile that reaches his eyes and lights up his entire face.

“I won’t. I promise.”

The Ferris wheel begins to move again, but this time, as it descends, you feel lighter, the weight of your doubts momentarily lifted.

Maybe this is reckless. Maybe it’ll all fall apart. But as Hongjoong’s hand finds yours again, lacing your fingers together, you decide—for now—you’ll take the risk.

✮ ⋆

The hum of the car engine fades as Hongjoong pulls up to your family’s grand estate, its sprawling driveway illuminated by soft outdoor lighting. He steps out of the old car and quickly moves to your side, opening the door for you with a charming smile.

“Such a gentleman.”

You tease, stepping out in your heels, clutching the medium-sized plush bunny he’d won for you at the amusement park. Its soft, floppy ears brush against your arm, and for reasons you can’t quite explain, holding it makes you feel… warm.

“Well, tonight was special. You deserve the whole VIP treatment.” He quips, offering his hand to steady you.

As the two of you walk toward the front steps, the soft chill of the evening air wraps around you, but you barely notice it. The warmth of the evening lingers, and you’re not quite ready to let it go.

“I had fun tonight.” You admit, your voice softer than usual.

“Yeah?” He asks, his eyes lighting up “You’re not just saying that because I let you beat me at the ring toss, are you?”

You roll your eyes, a laugh escaping as you hug the bunny tighter.

“You didn’t let me win. I’m just naturally talented.”

Hongjoong grins, leaning slightly closer “Naturally talented, huh? I’ll remember that next time I’m getting crushed at bumper cars.”

A comfortable silence falls between you for a moment as you both reach the front door.

“Thank you, Hongjoong,” You say, turning to face him fully “For everything. I mean it.”

He scratches the back of his neck, his cheeks tinged pink under the porch light. “You don’t have to thank me. I just… I wanted you to have a good time.”

“Well, mission accomplished.” You reply, your smile lingering.

The moment feels charged, like the quiet pause before a firework explodes. Slowly, he steps closer, his gaze flickering from your eyes to your lips.

“Goodnight, pretty.” He says softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Goodnight, Joongie.” You reply, leaning in.

Your lips meet in a tender kiss, warm and unhurried, the kind that feels like a promise. The bunny slips slightly in your grip, but Hongjoong steadies it with a hand, his touch lingering just long enough to make your heart flutter.

When you pull back, there’s a flicker of hesitation in his eyes, as though he’s reluctant to leave.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at school.” He murmurs, his hand brushing yours one last time before he turns and walks back to his car.

You watch him drive away, the sound of the engine fading into the night. For a brief moment, you stand there, feeling lighter than you have in weeks.

The plush bunny in your arms feels oddly comforting, and you catch yourself smiling at the memory of him insisting on winning it for you. He’d been so focused, so determined, as though nothing else in the world mattered.

But the warmth is short-lived.

As you step inside, the soft click of your heels echoes in the dimly lit foyer. The house feels quiet, almost too quiet, and a sense of unease prickles at the back of your neck.

“Late night, huh?” You freeze. Mike’s voice cuts through the silence like a knife, cold and taunting.

He steps out from the shadows of the living room, his arms crossed, and an infuriatingly smug look on his face.

“So, did Prince Nerd sweep you off your feet?”

You roll your eyes, trying to keep your composure “Go to bed, Mike. You’re not my keeper.”

He chuckles, the sound low and mocking “Oh, but it’s so entertaining watching you play house with your little project.”

You glare at him, your defenses rising “He’s not a project. And you don’t know anything about him.”

Mike raises an eyebrow, stepping closer “Don’t I? Let’s see… Hongjoong, the reformed nerd. The guy who suddenly started hanging out with the queen bee… How curious, don't you think?” Your jaw tightens, but he doesn’t stop “You think that’s love, YN? Or is it desperation?"

"Face it, dear sister. He’s obsessed with you because you’re a trophy. The queen bee who gave him the time of day. Do you really think that’ll last? Once he realizes he can’t keep up, he’ll snap back to reality. And where does that leave you?”

“Stop it,” You snap, your voice shaking slightly.

But Mike only smirks “You’re scared, aren’t you? Scared that I’m right. Scared that once the shine wears off, he’ll remember who he really is—and leave you behind.”

His words sink in like claws, dragging at the fragile hope you’d started to build tonight. You open your mouth to fire back, but the lump in your throat stops you.

Mike leans in, his voice dropping to a whisper “Enjoy the fairytale while it lasts, little sister. Because when it ends, it’s going to hurt.”

Without another word, he turns and disappears into the shadows, leaving you standing there, clutching the bunny tightly to your chest.

The warmth of Hongjoong’s kiss feels like a distant memory now, overshadowed by the weight of Mike’s cruel words.

As you climb the stairs to your room, the doubts creep in, unbidden and relentless.

You set the bunny down on your bed, its soft, innocent face staring back at you as though mocking your turmoil.

Tonight was perfect. But now, you’re not so sure how long perfect can last.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

March, 2008⋆｡

You were five years old, standing in the middle of the schoolyard with a bouquet of cheap plastic flowers and a small silver medal hanging around your neck. The other kids were swarmed by their parents, showered in hugs, kisses, and congratulations.

You stood apart, your smile faltering as you scanned the crowd again and again, hoping to find a familiar face.

But your parents never came.

By the time the babysitter arrived to take you home, the festival had already ended, and the school grounds were nearly empty. You sat quietly in the car, clutching the medal tightly in your small hands, determined not to cry.

You had worked so hard for the performance, staying late after school for weeks, practicing the routine over and over. You had wanted your parents to see you, to be proud of you.

When you finally got home, the house was dark. Your parents weren’t there, of course. They had told you that morning that they might be "a little late," but you hadn’t realized it meant missing the entire festival.

The babysitter gave you a sympathetic smile before heading upstairs. You sat at the dining table, the silver medal still around your neck, as you stared at the empty chairs where your parents should’ve been.

It wasn’t until late at night that you heard the front door open. You rushed downstairs, your little heart pounding with a mixture of excitement and apprehension.

Your parents entered, followed by your eight-year-old brother, Mike, who was holding a shiny trophy in his hands.

“Look at this, first place!” Mike boasted, raising the trophy high.

“We’re so proud of you, Mike.” Your mother said, ruffling his hair.

“Mommy, Daddy,” You began hesitantly, clutching her medal “You missed my dance festival.”

Your parents glanced at you briefly, their smiles faltering for just a moment.

“Oh, honey, we’re so sorry,” Your father said, though his tone was distracted “But Mike had his soccer game today, and his team won! It was such an important match.”

“I won too. I won second place, look.” You said quietly, holding up your medal with a smile.

You looked between your parents, hoping for a flicker of pride, of recognition.

Mike snorted “Second place? That’s just the first loser, YN.”

Your cheeks burned, and your grip on the medal tightened “It’s still good,” You muttered.

The oldest exchanged a quick look before your mother knelt down in front of you.

“That's incredible, sweetie. We’re sorry we couldn’t make it. We’ll make it up to you, okay? Tomorrow, we’ll take you to the store, and you can pick out whatever you want. How does that sound?”

You nodded slowly, but the hollow ache in your chest didn’t go away. You watched as your parents returned their attention to Mike, showering him with questions about his game, reliving every goal and every cheer.

You stood there, forgotten, the silver medal in your hand feeling heavier by the second.

That night, as you lay in bed, you stared at the medal on the nightstand. You thought about the promise your parents had made, the reward they’d offered to soothe their absence.

A reward.

That’s what you were worth to them. Not their time, not their presence, but a material gift to ease their guilt.

And so, even at five years old, you learned a valuable lesson: if you couldn’t earn love, you could at least be compensated for its absence.

✮ ⋆

October, 2017⋆｡

The house was alive with music, laughter, and the clinking of glasses. Streamers in shades of purple and gold adorned the grand living room, and a three-tier cake stood proudly at the center of the dining table, surrounded by an array of delicately prepared treats.

It was your fifteenth birthday—or at least, it was supposed to be.

You stood near the large bay window, your dress a vision of elegance and sparkle, the kind your mother had insisted on getting for the occasion. But your smile was thin and forced, your eyes constantly darting to the growing crowd around Mike.

Your older brother was the center of attention, as he always seemed to be.

Earlier that evening, just as the guests began to arrive, Mike had announced to their parents that he had been accepted into the most prestigious university in the country. The news was met with exuberant cheers and immediate celebration.

Your parents’ pride radiated like the sun, casting a shadow over everything else—including you.

At first, you tried to hold onto the joy of your own milestone, but as the night wore on, the decorations, the cake, and even the guests seemed to shift their focus.

“To Mike!” Your father’s voice boomed as he raised a glass of champagne “For making us the proudest parents alive!”

A collective cheer followed, and you felt your chest tighten. You glanced at your mother, hoping for a gesture of acknowledgment, but she was too busy beaming at Mike.

The words you had rehearsed to thank everyone for coming stayed locked in your throat.

“It’s okay…” You told yourself, gripping the edges of the dress to steady your trembling hands.

As the hours passed, your birthday transformed into an impromptu celebration for Mike’s achievement. Relatives and family friends crowded around him, offering their congratulations. The gifts that were meant for you sat unopened on a side table, forgotten.

Later that night, after most of the guests had left, you found yourself alone in the kitchen, picking at the remains of the untouched birthday cake. Your parents walked in, their faces still glowing with pride.

“Darling,” Your father said, noticing your somber expression “Why are you here by yourself? It was such a wonderful evening.”

You looked up at him, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“It was supposed to be my birthday party.”

Your mother’s smile faltered “Oh, sweetheart, we’re so sorry,” She said, reaching out to place a hand on your shoulder “But you understand how important this is for Mike, don’t you? This is such a big accomplishment for him.”

“I guess.” You mumbled, though the ache in your chest remained.

Mike walked in then, a triumphant grin on his face “What’s this? Pouting because you had to share the spotlight?” He teased, ruffling your hair in that condescending way that always made your blood boil.

“It’s not a big deal. Come on, you should be happy for me. Not everyone gets into a school like this.”

You clenched your fists, fighting the urge to lash out “Happy birthday to me.” You muttered under her breath.

Her parents, sensing the tension, exchanged a quick glance.

“YN, we’ll make it up to you. Tomorrow, we’ll take you shopping and get you whatever you want. Anything at all.”

You forced a smile, nodding mechanically.

“Sure. Thanks.”

But as you lay in bed that night, staring at the ceiling, you couldn’t shake the feeling of being invisible. No matter how hard you tried, it seemed you would always come second to Mike—the golden child, the perfect son, the one who could do no wrong.

And so, the seeds of bitterness were planted, watered by years of neglect and overshadowed by a brother who always shone brighter.

You promised yourself then that you would never let anyone make you feel small again.

If you had to be cruel to survive, so be it. Because in a world where everyone else seemed to have the upper hand, kindness felt like a luxury you couldn’t afford.

✮ ⋆

July, 2020⋆｡

The dining room was filled with laughter and the soft clinking of glasses. The long table was adorned with an elegant spread, shimmering under the chandelier’s warm glow.

It was Mike’s farewell dinner, a grand event in honor of his departure to Germany to pursue his master’s degree in business management.

The room buzzed with pride and excitement for the family’s golden boy.

You, now seventeen, sat near the end of the table, quiet and composed, your gaze fixed on your untouched plate. You had learned to blend into the background during these family gatherings, where you knew your presence would be an afterthought.

“To Mike!” Uncle William raised his glass for the third toast of the evening “A true inspiration to us all. You’ve always been the pride of the family!”

“Here’s to making us proud in Germany,” Chimed in Aunt Silvia, dabbing her eyes with a napkin “Our boy is destined for greatness.”

Everyone joined in the toast, glasses clinking, voices filled with admiration. Your grip tightened around the fork, your knuckles white as you forced a polite smile.

“And what about you, YN?” Cousin Andrew’s voice cut through the noise like a blade, drawing attention to her “Any plans to follow in your brother’s footsteps? Or is it still fashion magazines and parties for you?”

The table erupted in laughter, the kind that stung more than it amused. Your jaw clenched, but you kept a neutral expression, unwilling to give them the satisfaction of a reaction.

Your mother’s voice cut through the mockery, firm but not forceful.

“That’s enough, Andrew. YN has her own path, and she’s doing well in school.”

“Well, of course she is,” Mike interjected, his tone smooth but laced with condescension “YN has always been… creative.”

More laughter followed, and you felt the familiar sting of their dismissive comments. Years of enduring this treatment had toughened you, but tonight, it felt heavier, like a weight pressing on your chest.

As dessert was served, Grandpa leaned toward you.

“You should be proud of your brother, Little YN. He’s setting the standard for the family. Maybe one day you’ll find your own way to contribute.”

“I am proud.” You said softly, voice steady despite the lump in your throat.

Your father, noticing the tension, tried to lighten the mood.

“Come now, let’s not overshadow YN entirely. She’s done well this year, too.”

“Sure,” Mike quipped, a smirk tugging at his lips “But tonight isn’t about her.”

You pushed your chair back, movements graceful despite the storm brewing inside you.

“If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll get some air.”

The murmurs at the table quieted as you left the room, heels clicking against the polished floor.

Once outside, You inhaled deeply, the cool night air filling her lungs. Your chest heaved as you fought back the tears threatening to spill.

You wouldn’t let them see your break.

Not now. Not ever.

When your parents found you later, sitting on the garden bench, your father held out a small, velvet box.

“We’re sorry, darling,” He said, his voice soft with guilt “We didn’t mean to make you feel left out.”

You opened the box to reveal a delicate diamond bracelet, the stones catching the moonlight.

“It’s beautiful.” You said, slipping it onto your wrist.

But inside, the gesture felt hollow. No gift could fill the void left by years of neglect and overshadowing.

That night, the bracelet glittering on the nightstand, you made a vow: If the world wanted to underestimate you, you would let it. And then, you would show them all just how wrong they were.

✮ ⋆

Present year (Mike’s return)⋆｡

Hours later, you returned home after dinner at Hongjoong’s house, your mood lifted by the warmth and genuine affection of his parents. But the moment you stepped inside your own home, the oppressive atmosphere returned.

Mike confronted you as always, but you didn’t mind, didn’t talk back. But your chest burned with frustration and hurt.

As you reached the top of the stairs, you passed by your parents’ room. Their voices carried through the cracked door.

“Do you think we should talk to her?” Your mother asked, her tone uncertain.

Her father sighed “She’ll be fine. She always is.”

“I don’t know,” She said softly “Maybe we should get her something. You know how sensitive she can be about these things.”

“A trip, perhaps?” Your father suggested “Or maybe one of those designer handbags she likes. It’s not like she doesn’t enjoy it.”

You froze in the hallway, stomach twisting. Of course. This was how it always went. Gifts instead of apologies. Material things to soothe over their lack of understanding or support.

You leaned against the wall, fists clenching.

As a child, you had cried over these moments, hoping for more, longing for genuine care. Now, you knew better.

You have learned to accept it, even take advantage of it.

If they thought they could buy your affection, you would let them.

Your lips curved into a bitter smile. If they wanted to give you a car, a trip, a bag, or whatever else they thought would ease their guilt, so be it. You’d make sure it was worth their while.

But as you slipped into your room and closed the door, the bitterness remained, gnawing at the edges of your heart.

You should be used to this by now.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

The bustling energy of the school hallway feels distant as you walk to your locker. Usually, your heels click with purpose, your presence commanding attention.

But today, something is off. You aren't radiating your usual aura of authority and sharpness. Instead, you move through the crowd quietly, your thoughts heavy.

Your mind has been restless since the night before, replaying old memories you rarely allowed yourself to dwell on. The echoes of the past—your parents’ hollow apologies, Mike’s dismissive words—lingered, intertwining with the warmth you had felt during the date with Hongjoong.

Why now? Why did those memories resurface now, after a day that had been nothing short of… perfect?

As you approach your locker, you feel a presence behind you. Turning, you see Hongjoong standing there, his brows furrows in concern.

“You’ve been quiet.” He says softly.

You tilt your head, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear.

“And that’s unusual?”

“For you? Yeah.” He says, a small smile tugging at his lips.

You smirk faintly but don't respond. Instead, you play with the lock on your locker, your movements uncharacteristically hesitant.

Hongjoong leans against the locker next to yours, studying you.

“Something’s on your mind.”

You hesitate, pride warring with the strange weight pressing on your chest. Finally, you shrug, closing the locker door.

“Don’t flatter yourself. Not everything revolves around you, Joongie.”

Hongjoong chuckles, but his concern doesn't waver “Okay, but if you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me.”

You nod, taking a deep breath, trying to shake off the unease.

“Today I planned a little meeting at my house, bring a swimsuit.”

✮ ⋆

The sun cast golden reflections over the pool as music pulses through the speakers. Laughter and chatter fill the air as you and your friends lounge around, drinks in hand. Mindy, Samantha, Wooyoung, Seonghwa, San, Mingi, and Hongjoong are all there, the atmosphere lighthearted and carefree.

Dann, ever the obedient little pet, carries a tray of drinks, moving carefully to avoid spilling anything. She approaches the group, her expression unreadable as she sets the drinks down on the small poolside table.

"Finally." Seonghwa smirks, picking up his glass.

"Took you long enough, nerd." Mindy snaps.

"What, did you have to mix them by hand?" Wooyoung adds with a chuckle.

Dann clenches her jaw but says nothing. She had learned that silence is often the best defense. But today, something in her burns hotter than usual.

Maybe it is the sight of you and Hoongjoong sitting so close, his hand around your waist, your chemistry undeniable.

Maybe it’s the way you barely acknowledge her, as if she is nothing more than an accessory in your world.

"You should be more grateful," Dann mutters under her breath "Not everyone is willing to put up with your bullshit."

Silence. Then laughter. You arch an eyebrow, standing up and tilting your head as if you hadn't heard correctly.

"Excuse me?"

Dann swallows, but her resolve doesn't waver "I said—"

But before she can finish, you let out a scoff, exchanging a look with Wooyoung. Without warning, you place a hand on Dann’s shoulder and give her a hard shove. Wooyoung, catching on to the moment, joins in, and together you push Dann straight into the pool.

A loud splash echoes through the air.

Laughter erupts from the group as Dann surfaces, coughing and sputtering, her soaked hair plaster to her face. Wooyoung doubled over, wiping tears from his eyes. Even Hongjoong chuckles along with the others.

Dann wipes water from her eyes, her face burning—not just from humiliation but from something deeper. Something sharper.

As the group continues to laugh, none of them notices the figure watching from the mansion’s balcony. Mike stands at a distance, his expression unreadable, his grip tightening around his glass as he observes everything in silence.

The laughter has barely settled when Dann storms away, her soaked clothes clinging to her like a second skin, her face burning with humiliation.

She can still hear their amusement echoing behind her, but she doesn’t turn back. She wouldn’t give them the satisfaction.

Just as the group is about to move on from the incident, a familiar voice interrupts.

“Sweetie,” Your mother’s elegant tone cut through the chatter, drawing everyone’s attention.

“Yes, mommy?”

Your mother looks over the group with an approving nod “I see you’re all having fun,” She says pleasantly “I wanted to extend an invitation to all of you. This Saturday, we’re hosting a celebration for Mike’s accomplishments. It’ll be a grand affair.”

The mention of Mike makes your stomach twist, but you keep your expression unreadable.

Your mother’s gaze then lands directly on Hongjoong “And you, young man, I would love for you to attend.”

Hongjoong blinks, clearly caught off guard. He isn’t sure if that is true or just a polite formality, but he nods nonetheless.

“Uh, thank you, Mrs. Clarke. I’d be honored to come.”

“Wonderful.” She said smoothly, and with that, she excused herself, leaving the group with murmurs of intrigue about the upcoming event.

✮ ⋆

As the night stretches on, one by one, your friends depart, leaving only you and Hongjoong by the pool. The energy has shifted. The teasing, the careless fun—it all faded into something quieter, something heavier in the air between you.

The water is cool against Hongjoong’s skin, a welcome contrast to the heat radiating between you. His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you closer, feeling the warmth of your sun-kissed body against his own. You straddle his lap, your fingers threading through his hair as you talk.

“And your friends… what are they like?” You ask, your voice softer now, genuinely curious.

Hongjoong chuckles “A bunch of nerds, really,” He admits “Yunho is always energetic, making jokes and annoying. Yeosang is quiet but he is also a weirdo.” You both laugh, you can see in his eyes how much he appreciates his friends “On the other hand, Jongho is reserved and always listening, sometimes scary, but in general we spend way too much time debating books lore and analyzing sci-fi movies like it’s a science.”

You smirk, tilting your head toward him “That’s kinda cute.”

He raises an eyebrow “Cute? You wouldn’t last five minutes in one of our discussions.”

“Try me, I know much more than just fashion and pop culture gossip.”

And for a while, you simply talk. About things that don't matter, about things that do. And for the first time in a long time, you aren't thinking about your reputation, about expectations, or about proving yourself.

You are just there, with him.

At some point, you drift closer, and Hongjoong notices. The way your eyes soften under the dim lights, the way the water reflects off your skin. The way you look at him—not like he is some nerd trying to reach too high, but like he is just Hongjoong.

Without overthinking, he leans in, brushing a damp strand of hair behind your ear.

“You’re different when it’s just us.” He murmurs.

“And you don’t mind?”

He shakes his head “Not even a little.”

Your lips meet, tentative at first, then deeper. The warmth of the water, the way your bodies press against each other—it’s intoxicating. Your fingers curl around the nape of his neck, pulling him closer.

His hands trace slow, lazy circles on your bare waist, and for that moment, nothing else exists.

"You always talk about your nerdy friends," You murmur as you pull back a little, your breath catching against his lips "But you never really tell me about you."

Hongjoong lets out a soft chuckle, shaking his head "And here I thought you didn’t care."

You roll your eyes, but there’s something different now. The barest hint of a smirk touches your lips.

"Maybe I do."

His breath hitches at the sound of your voice, and you feel the faint tremor in his hands as they hover on your waist. There’s hesitation, a slight uncertainty, as if he’s not sure how far to go or whether he’s doing it right. You like it. It’s endearing.

You know exactly what’s on his mind, that quiet nervousness, and it only makes you want him more.

You reach out, tracing your fingertips slowly down his arm beneath the water, deliberate and teasing. He shivers slightly under your touch, his pulse hammering.

When your hand drifts to his chest, you linger there, pressing your palm flat against his skin, feeling the steady rhythm of his heart beneath your fingers.

“Let's go shopping tomorrow after school. You need a suit, and you have to impress my mother.”

“Only your mother?” He teases, making you scoff.

“Think what you want, but you need something that screams ‘I belong to YN Clarke’.”

Hongjoong laughs but nods “All right then, pretty.”

"You’re warm," You note absently, your breath shaky as you let your touch wander.

Hongjoong exhales sharply, his hand lifting, skimming over the curve of your waist. His fingertips brush over your bare skin, and you can feel his uncertainty, the way he pulls back just a fraction when you press closer.

His breath is uneven, like he’s trying to keep up with the rhythm of your touch, trying to suppress the nerves coiling in his gut. He swallows hard.

"YN—"

You cut him off before he can say more, leaning in to kiss him again, your lips meeting his with an urgency that both surprises and excites him.

The kiss is slow at first, teasing, but as Hongjoong slides his hand to the small of your back and pulls you closer, something inside both of you snaps.

The moment his grip tightens, pulling you flush against him, you gasp softly, feeling the heat between you intensify. Hongjoong's kiss becomes deeper, rougher, his hands gripping you like he’s been starving for you, his touch becoming bolder, more eager.

His muscles tense beneath your hands, the slight tremor in his touch betraying his inexperience, but you don’t mind. If anything, you find it charming, knowing you’re the one who can pull this reaction from him.

The water around you suddenly feels too cool compared to the heat of his body against yours. Your arms wrap around his neck, fingers threading through his damp hair as he presses you against the edge of the pool.

He kisses along your jaw, over the damp skin of your throat, sucking lightly before flicking his tongue over the spot to soothe the sting. You shudder at the sensation, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist beneath the water.

"Joong—" You breathe, your voice barely above a whisper, lost in the warmth of the moment.

But he swallows the rest of your words with another kiss, drowning you both in the heat of it, in the desperation, the raw hunger that feels so real and unrestrained.

His hands roam lower now, gripping your thighs beneath the water, and you arch into him. You can feel his self-control hanging by a thread, the way he stifles every urge to push harder, faster, the way he almost overthinks each move. It’s a mix of hesitance and hunger.

He wants you so badly, but he’s not sure if he’s doing it right. But the more you respond, the more he realizes that’s not what matters. It’s the way you want him that matters.

You guide him without saying a word—your body melting against him, soft sighs escaping your lips as he becomes more confident with each touch. His kisses deepen, and the passion between you escalates.

There’s nothing awkward about this anymore. The hesitation fades, and what’s left is raw, real, and completely right.

"God, you drive me crazy," He murmurs against your lips, voice hoarse with the effort of holding back.

You smirk, brushing your fingers along his jaw "I know, nerd."

Hongjoong groans, his grip tightening as he nips at your lower lip in retaliation. You laugh, but it quickly fades into a soft sigh when he dips his head, kissing along the curve of your shoulder, his lips gentle but insistent.

For a moment, you can feel him stiffen slightly, unsure whether he’s moving too fast, and then you pull him closer, urging him to follow your lead. His hands move with more certainty now, exploring with a quiet passion, and the way his body reacts to yours is nothing short of electrifying.

The beauty of it is not just in the physicality—the way his hands and lips touch you—but in the way he’s learning.

Hongjoong is not perfect, and he’s not experienced, but he’s here.

He’s with you, and the more he responds to you, the more he learns what you need, the more you find yourself consumed by him.

It’s the way he forgets his nervousness, the way he becomes sure of himself because of you.

And you know, deep down, that this isn’t just about the touch, the heat, the kissing. It’s about the way he’s learning to be confident in himself. Because of you.

And that, in the end, makes all the difference.

For once, you let yourself get lost in it. In the way Hongjoong touches you, the way he wants you, the way he holds you like you’re something precious.

It 's intoxicating.

And yet, hidden in the shadows, Dann stands frozen, her chest tightening, her fingers clenched into fists as she watches the scene unfold.

Dann hadn’t meant to stay. She hadn’t meant to see.

But there she is, standing by the edge of the terrace, her heart sinking lower and lower.

It wasn’t just a kiss. It wasn’t just some game you were playing.

This is real.

She has told herself she doesn't care. That it doesn’t matter. But the painful sting in her heart tells her otherwise.

And it hurt.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

The next day, you and Hongjoong find yourselves strolling through an upscale shopping mall. The polished marble floors gleam under the soft glow of designer store lights.

As usual, your style is impeccable—heels clicking in rhythm, and your hair flowing with the air. Beside you, Hongjoong is a stark contrast, casual yet charming in his plain sweater and jeans.

You lead him into one of the most exclusive stores, where racks of tailored suits and elegant ensembles line the walls.

The sales assistants greet you with knowing smiles, instantly recognizing your status.

“Do you even know my size?” He teases, watching you confidently pull out a dark navy suit with subtle pinstripes.

You smirk, holding the suit up to him “I don’t need to know your size. I have an eye for perfection.”

He shakes his head, chuckling as he takes the suit from your hands “You know I don’t need something this expensive, right? I can just wear the stuff I have at home.”

“Not if you’re going to a party as my date.” You say firmly, your tone leaving no room for argument.

Hongjoong smiles softly but doesn’t press further. He disappears into the fitting room, and while he’s gone, you wander the store, your gaze drifting over the luxurious displays.

The weight in your chest hasn’t eased since yesterday. If anything, it feels heavier under the bright lights and polished surfaces.

It’s not about the suit. It’s not about the party. Shopping, spending, indulging—it’s the only thing that ever distracted you from the hollow ache inside. It always has been.

“YN?” Hongjoong’s voice pulls you from your thoughts.

You turn, and for a moment, your breath catches. The suit fits him perfectly, accentuating his broad shoulders and lean frame.

He looks… confident. Polished.

Yours.

“What do you think?” He asks, doing a half spin for effect.

You step closer, your fingers brushing over the lapel of the jacket “You look…” You pause, searching for the right word, then smirk “Like someone who belongs to me.”

He laughs, shaking his head, but there’s a hint of pink in his cheeks “I should’ve known you’d say that.”

After the purchase is made—your card, of course—you both leave the store. You’re holding onto a medium-sized bag containing some clothes as Hongjoong holds a bag with his new suit that costs more than some people make in a month.

As you walk through the mall, Hongjoong’s phone buzzes in his pocket. He glances at the screen, and a small smile spreads across his face.

“What is it?” You ask, curious.

“It’s Jongho, Yeosang, and Yunho,” He says, showing you the message “They’re asking if I want to hit the arcade with them tonight. It’s been ages since we’ve hung out.”

You notice the way his eyes light up at the mention of his friends, and for a moment, your heart clenches.

You nod, keeping your expression neutral.

“You should go.”

He hesitates, slipping his phone back into his pocket “I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“I’ll be fine,” You say with a small smile “Go have fun with them. You deserve it.”

“Are you sure?” He asks, studying your face.

“Yeah,” You reply, tilting your head slightly “I’ll just go home and relax. Maybe binge some show or something.”

Hongjoong doesn’t look convinced, but he doesn’t push.

“Okay, but only if you promise me something.”

“What?”

“That you’ll call me if you need anything.”

You roll your eyes, your lips curving into a smirk “Relax, Joong. I’m not helpless.”

“I know you’re not,” He says softly “But I care about you, pretty. A lot.”

The sincerity in his voice makes your chest tighten. You can’t help but wonder if it’s only a matter of time before those words—his care, his affection—turn into something else.

Something colder.

He leans down and kisses your forehead, his hand briefly brushing yours.

“I’ll text you later, okay?”

“Okay,” You whisper, watching him walk away.

You clutch the bag in your hand, the weight of the expensive items nothing compared to the familiar emptiness settling in your chest.

✮ ⋆

The arcade was alive with the sound of laughter, the ping of game machines, and the occasional cheer of someone winning.

Hongjoong walked in, spotting the boys huddled near the air hockey table.

“Hongjoong!” Yunho calls, waving him over.

“About time you showed up,” Yeosang teases “We thought YN had you on a leash or something.”

Hongjoong rolls his eyes, grinning “Very funny.”

Jongho smirks “For a moment we thought you'd say no, since you've only spent time with her.”

“I also have a life apart from being with her and she also needs her space, so she let me come.”

“She let you come? I didn't know you had to ask permission to go out with your friends.” Yunho snorts mockingly.

“We’re kind of a thing now.” Hongjoong murmurs shyly.

The boys look confused at each other before looking at him.

“What do you mean with that, Joong?”

He hesitates before shrugging, a small smile tugging at his lips “We had a date.”

Yunho drops the joystick he was holding “A date?!

“Wait, wait,” Yeosang says, laughing “YN Clarke? Like, the queen bee had a date with you?”

“The same one.” Hongjoong replies, scratching the back of his neck.

Yeosang and Yunho exchange a look before breaking into wide grins.

Jongho let out a low whistle “I thought you were joking about liking her. She actually went out with you?”

“Yeah,” Hongjoong says, his smile growing “It was amazing. I took her to the amusement park. She even let me win her a prize—a stuffed bunny.”

Yunho grinns “Aww, how romantic. Joongie the Casanova.”

“More like Hongjoong the miracle nerd,” Jongho adds “Seriously, dude. YN Clarke? That’s insane.”

Yunho’s grin widens “Dude, you’re living the dream. A date with the queen bee of the school? You’re officially a legend.”

Hongjoong chuckles, his face reddening slightly. Before he could respond, a familiar voice interrupted.

“Joong?”

He turns to see Dann standing a few feet away, clutching a soda.

“Dann?” He says, confused “What are you doing here?”

“Yunho texted me,” Dann says, glancing at the boys “Thought it’d be nice to hang out.”

Hongjoong stiffs slightly “Oh... Uh, cool.”

Dann steps closer, her gaze lingering on him “It’s been a while. You’ve been… busy.”

He scratches the back of his neck, glancing at his friends for support “Yeah, I guess I have.”

Dann smiles, though it doesn't quite reach her eyes “With YN, right?”

“Yeah,” He answers, his tone cautious.

Yeosang, sensing the tension, jumps in “Hey, let’s hit the games. Air hockey, anyone?”

“Sure,” Dann says quickly, stepping closer to Hongjoong “We can team up.”

Hongjoong hesitates. He knows you don’t like Dann being around him—and he can't blame you. Dann’s feelings for him are obvious, you told him from the beginning and he can already confirm it.

He doesn’t want to hurt Dann, but he also doesn’t want to disrespect you.

“Actually,” He starts, his tone gentle but firm “Why don’t you play with Jongho? He’s unbeatable.”

Dann’s smile falters “Oh. Right. Sure.”

Yunho raises an eyebrow at Hongjoong, but doesn’t comment. They are all aware of the feelings of both, Dann in love with Hongjoong and Hongjoong with you, they just hope that things don't get awkward in the future.

As they move toward the air hockey table, Dann hangs back, watching Hongjoong laugh and joke with the others.

Her chest tightness. Hongjoong was pushing her away—kindly, yes, but it was still rejection. And she knows why.

It 's not fair. She had been there for him when no one else was. She had defended him when people mocked him for being a nerd. And now, he was choosing you. Again.

Her phone buzzes, breaking her thoughts. She pulls it out to see a message from Mike:

Mike C: Stay focused. Remember our deal.

Dann clenches her jaw, her fingers tightening around the phone.

If Hongjoong wants to choose you, fine. But you don’t deserve him. And Dann is going to make sure he sees that—no matter what it takes.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

The cafeteria is alive with its usual energy, but the corner table claimed by you and your entourage buzzes with a more refined excitement. The topic of the day? Saturday’s celebration for Mike at the Ritz.

“So,” Mindy begins, twirling a strand of her perfectly styled hair “Who’s already stressing about their outfit? Because I may or may not have gone a little overboard at Valentino yesterday.”

“Only yesterday?” Wooyoung teases, smirking “Some of us have been planning for days. I’m bringing the tux my dad wore to that gala in Monaco. He swears it’s vintage gold now.”

You scoff, taking a delicate sip of your iced coffee “Monaco tux or not, just don’t embarrass me, Woo.”

“Moi? Embarrass you? Never, babydoll.” He grins, leaning back in his chair.

Mindy sighs dramatically, resting her chin in her palm “I still think about the last party. The lighting, the flowers, the champagne towers. Do you think they’ll top it this time?”

“They’d better,” You reply nonchalantly, though your gaze flickered briefly “My parents love to ‘impress.’ It’s practically their brand.”

“And what time should we grace them with our presence?” Another of your friends, Samantha, asks, pulling out her phone.

“Seven-thirty, at the Ritz. And be punctual. This isn’t one of those parties you can show up fashionably late to.”

“Noted,” Wooyoung says, tapping the time into his calendar “And little Hongjoong? Are you ready to make your grand debut into the Clarke world of extravagance?”

Hongjoong, who has been quietly observing the banter, chuckles softly “I think I’ll survive. YN’s already dragged me through the whole shopping process.”

“Oh, please,” You cut in, smirking “Dragged? You should be thanking me, Joong.”

He raises his hands in surrender, laughing “All right, all right. I owe you one.”

“Just one?” Wooyoung teases again, winking.

Mindy’s eyes lit up as she leaned forward “Wait, what did you go with? Armani? Tom Ford?”

“Tom Ford, It suits him. And trust me, he’ll be turning heads Saturday night.”

“Can’t wait to see it.” Woo says, smirking at him.

“So, how many bottles of champagne do you think your parents are bringing out this time? Ten? Twenty?”

You snort, leaning back in the chair with an air of practiced nonchalance “If it’s less than twenty, I’ll personally tell the caterers to triple the order.”

Wooyoung laughs “Forget the champagne. I’m more interested in how many pastries they’ll have. Last party, I swear I had a religious experience with those chocolate eclairs.”

“Oh, the eclairs,” Sam sighs dreamily “I’ve been thinking about them since then. And don’t even get me started on the tiramisu.”

Hongjoong chuckles, glancing at you “So, is this a party or a dessert buffet?”

“It’s both. A Clarke family event is always an experience. You’ll see.”

“Damn right,” Woo said, raising his water bottle like it was a champagne glass “To YN Clarke and her family's amazing parties!”

The group laughs, the easy camaraderie filling the space. Hongjoong looks at you, a soft smile playing on his lips. You caughting his gaze and, for a brief moment, your confident exterior softened.

The party was just days away, and for now, everything seemed perfect.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

The air in the Clarke mansion was a flurry of activity, with staff bustling through the grand halls, preparing for the evening’s event. The clinking of silverware and the faint aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the dining room, where the family had gathered for breakfast.

You sit at the table, scrolling through your phone, your polished nails tapping lightly against the screen. Across from you, Mike is casually flipping through the day’s paper, looking as composed as ever. Your father is already grumbling about last-minute details while your mother sips her tea, the picture of elegance amidst the chaos.

“Dann, can you help me with this?” Dann’s mother’s voice echoes softly from the kitchen.

Dann, trying to stay invisible, hesitates before hurrying to her mother’s side. Together, they carefully carry trays of food into the dining room.

Your father raises an eyebrow, glancing at Dann as she places a platter of fruit on the table.

“Quite the multi-tasker, aren’t you?” He remarks, his tone hovering between sarcasm and indifference.

Dann stiffens slightly, her cheeks coloring “Just helping my mom, sir.” She says quietly.

Before anyone can say more, your mother sets her cup down with a delicate clink.

“You know, I’ve been watching how hard you work around here, Dann,” She says warmly “Always helping your mother, always polite. I think it’s only fair that we extend an invitation to you for tonight’s party.”

The room falls silent. your head snaps up, eyes narrowing slightly, while Mike’s smirk barely conceals his amusement.

“Mom,” You begin, voice sharp “I don’t think—”

“Nonsense, sweetie,” She interrupts smoothly “It’s about time we show a little appreciation. Don’t you think so?”

Dann blinks, surprise evident on her face “Oh, Mrs. Clarke, that’s… I mean, thank you, but—”

“Of course,” Your father interjects, his tone dry “Just make sure you’re aware of the dress code. It’s black tie, not… casual.” His eyes flick briefly over Dann’s simple attire, and the implication hangs heavy in the air.

Your mother’s jaw tightens, and shoots her husband a pointed look “Which is why, sweetheart, you’ll be lending her something appropriate to wear. I’m sure you have plenty of dresses that would look lovely on her.”

Your lips curve into a slow, calculated smile “Of course, Mommy.”

After breakfast, you guide Dann into your walk-in closet with a sweeping gesture, the dazzling array of dresses catching her wide-eyed attention.

She's already entered the closet next to your room, but this one is much bigger. Her fingers trail hesitantly over the delicate fabrics, her expression a mix of awe and discomfort.

She’s never been surrounded by such luxury, let alone been invited to wear it. The second-hand clothes she normally wears couldn’t be further from this.

“You’ve got so many.” She murmurs, her voice tinged with wonder.

You smile, tilting your head “I know, it’s almost a problem, right? Too many choices. But don’t worry—I’ll help you find something that’s just right for tonight.”

Dann nods quickly, her unease flickering across her face. She’s not used to this kind of kindness from you, and it’s unsettling.

But as much as she doesn’t trust it, she can’t exactly refuse either.

You reach into one of the last racks, where the clothes you no longer wear are stored, you pull out a shimmering emerald gown with a slit up the side.

“Here’s a favorite of mine. It’s gorgeous on, trust me. And it’ll definitely help you stand out.”

Dann takes the dress with both hands, handling it as though it might dissolve in her grip “It’s beautiful,” She says, her tone genuine “I’ve never worn anything like this before.”

You smile, masking your amusement “Well, there’s a first time for everything.”

Moving through the racks, you select another gown, this one a deep crimson with delicate lace detailing.

“Or maybe this one? It’s a classic. Wore it to a charity auction, and let me tell you—it turned heads.”

Dann stares at the dress, wide-eyed “Wow. It 's amazing.”

She’s completely oblivious to the fact that these dresses, as stunning as they are, are from last year’s collections—now outdated by anyone with even a passing knowledge of fashion.

To Dann, they’re the height of elegance.

You pull a lavender gown from the back of the rack, its soft beading catching the light.

“This one’s a little more subtle,” You say, handing it over “It’s sweet and sophisticated. I think it’s perfect for you. You can keep it, take it as a gift.”

Dann nods enthusiastically, her unease momentarily forgotten as she clutches the gown to her chest.

“Thank you, YN. This is… this is so kind of you.”

You wave off her gratitude with a bright smile “Of course. It’s my pleasure. Go try it on, let’s see how it looks.”

She disappears into the dressing room, and you lean against the doorway with a smug tilt to your lips.

The plan is unfolding perfectly. These dresses, while stunning in their time, are no longer the kind that command admiration—they invite quiet judgment.

But Dann doesn’t know that, and that’s exactly the point.

When she steps out in the lavender gown, her face lights up “It fits perfectly,” She says, her voice tinged with shy excitement.

You study her for a long moment, your smile never faltering.

“It looks wonderful on you, just wait until you see everyone’s reaction tonight.”

Dann beams, completely unaware of the double meaning behind your words.

“I can’t thank you enough, YN.”

You wave her off again “No need to thank me. I’m just glad you’ll have something to wear.”

Inside, you’re already picturing the whispers and raised eyebrows at the party. Tonight will be a night she’ll never forget—for all the wrong reasons.

As Dann leaves the room clutching the dress, you lean against the doorway, arms crossed. Your mother’s unexpected invitation throws you off, but if Dann is going to attend, you will make sure it’s on your terms.

✮ ⋆

Dann holds the lavender dress against herself, staring at the delicate fabric in awe. She hurries to the kitchen, where her mother is wiping down the counters.

“Mom, look at this,” Dann says, holding the gown up for her mother to see “It’s beautiful, but I don’t have the right shoes or makeup to match it.”

Her mother glances at the dress, her expression softening with a mix of pride and concern.

“It’s lovely, sweetheart, but you’re right. You need to look your best if you’re going to that party.”

Dann frowns “But… I don’t have anything like that.”

Her mother thinks for a moment, before leaving the kitchen she smiles at her “Why don’t you go shopping? Find a nice pair of shoes and maybe some makeup. You deserve to feel special tonight.”

As Dann mulls over the idea, Mike enters the room, his usual air of confidence trailing behind him. Overhearing their conversation, he leans casually against the doorframe.

“Shopping for the party, Dann?” He asks, his tone dripping with feigned interest.

Dann straightens, clutching the dress tighter “I don’t have shoes or makeup, so I thought—”

“Perfect.” Mike pulls out his wallet, flipping through the neatly arranged bills and credit cards. He holds out a black credit card “Here. Get yourself something nice. Consider it a little thank-you for… being cooperative.”

Dann hesitates but eventually takes the card, murmuring a quiet “Thanks.”

Mike’s smirk widens “While you’re at it, I’ve been thinking. Wouldn’t it be amusing if Hongjoong accidentally ended up at the wrong address tonight?”

Dann’s brows furrow “What do you mean?”

“Oh, you know.” His tone is casual, but his eyes gleam with mischief “If YN’s little nerd showed up at the wrong place, it’d be quite the embarrassment. Don’t you think?”

Dann bites her lip “How would we even do that?”

Mike’s smirk sharpens “Simple. We just need YN’s phone. Once you’re back, we’ll figure out the details.”

Dann nods slowly, the plan settling uneasily in her mind. She doesn’t like deceiving Hongjoong, but the thought of disrupting YN’s perfect evening is too tempting to resist.

Later, at the shopping mall, Dann wanders through the perfume section, marveling at the elegant bottles and their enticing scents. She is about to make her selection when a familiar voice catches her attention.

Turning, she sees Hongjoong standing a few feet away, examining a cologne bottle. His brows furrowed in concentration as he sprayed a tester onto a card.

“Joong?” Dann calls, her voice carrying a hint of surprise.

He looks up, a smile breaking across his face “Dann? What are you doing here?”

“Just… shopping,” She says, holding up a small bag “You?”

“Same,” He says with a laugh “YN told me I needed to step up my game for tonight, so here I am.”

Dann’s mind races. This is her chance to plant the seed of doubt. She steps closer, lowering her voice conspiratorially.

“By the way, did YN tell you about the venue change?”

Hongjoong blinks “Venue change? What are you talking about?”

“Oh,” Dann says, feigning surprise “I thought she’d have mentioned it. YN’s mother invited me to the celebration because I’ve been working for YN, so she told me earlier that Mike decided to move the party to that new place downtown, I'll send you the address, but she said something about Mike wanting a more modern vibe.”

Hongjoong frowns, confusion flickering across his face “Why didn’t YN tell me?”

Dann shrugs “She’s probably just busy with everything. You know how these rich people's events are—chaotic.”

He nods slowly, though uncertainty lingers in his expression “Yeah… maybe.”

Dann smiles sweetly, placing a hand on his arm “Don’t worry. Just show up at. You’ll be fine.”

As Dann walks away, a pang of guilt surfaces. But it’s quickly overshadowed by the thrill of watching the plan unfold.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

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All rights reserved ♡bunny-hwa. Do not copy or translate my work.

[black-occamy]

Remadora Microfics - Day 1: Haunted

Written for @remadoramicrofics October prompts, 916 words I almost failed in writing it on time...

Written as part of my Occamy-verse AU, so: everybody lives, everybody lives HAPPILY, there will be insane amount of fluff and cuteness, there will be mentions of polyamory.

The carousel began to rotate, children’s shouts overlapping with the merry music. Remus stood on the side with a bunch of other parents, watching the oversize teacups begin to swirl. He searched for Teddy’s blue hair with his eyes, noticing the boy was happily shouting something to the other kids in his cup. It wasn’t like he would be leaving them alone, he reminded himself.

“C’mon, Rem,” Dora tugged on his arm, much like a giddy kid herself. “They’re not gonna disappear if you stop watching for a bloody second.”

If anyone had bothered to ask him before, Remus would have a number of arguments as to why having a date night at the Muggle amusement park would not be his personal choice. Unlucky for him, neither Dora, nor Sirius bothered, instead arranging to take him and all the kids from Grimmauld Place to spend an evening out as a surprise. He didn’t even have his regular supportive voice of Gemma, who was out on the Auror business this week. Faced with a bunch of pre-purchased tickets, and the pleading eyes of Teddy and Lenore, he could hardly refuse.

Keep reading under the cut or on AO3 ❤

Remus spotted his daughter in another carousel vessel. She was completely focused on drawing more tattoos on Sirius, who was seemingly dozing off, one of his arms casually thrown over the edge of his seat. On the previous ride, it was Scorpius who had won the opportunity to ride with “Uncle Pads” and diligently drew even more rune-like symbols on Sirius’ palms than there was already. The boy apparently didn’t notice that as soon as the ride ended, all the drawings mysteriously disappeared.

“Rem, for Merlin’s sake,” Dora finally managed to pull him away, leading him through the crowd of people towards some other carnival attraction. “Sirius offered to look after those little monsters, stop worrying.”

“You know how I don’t like you two ganging up on me,” he complained half-heartedly, following her. His wife cast him a smug look over her shoulder and grinned.

“Cheer up, love. You’ve been spending too much time working lately, you deserve a break.”

Remus sighed. She wasn’t wrong there. Between preparing for classes and finishing his second book, he hardly had enough time to spend with the family and often he would just excuse himself and fall asleep before Dora was even done putting the kids to their beds.

“I know, I’m sorry for…”

“We’re here!” She interrupted him gleefully. “What do you think?”

He raised his eyebrows quizzically. They stood in front of a dilapidated construction that tried to pretend that it was a mansion of some sorts. Tattered curtains swayed on non-existent wind from broken windows. Front door, with remnants of torn-off wooden boards, was wide open, leading off to a dimly lit corridor. An older lady in black laced gown was sitting on a small chair next to it.

“Welcome to the Haunted House,” she sighed as they approached, shooting them a bored look from above the crossword puzzle. “Two tickets for you, lovelies?”

“Yes, please, ma’am!” Dora beamed, scooping the tickets from the crooked fingers. Remus fought the urge to roll his eyes.

The inside was no less cardboard-looking as the front, with flickering electric light pretending to be candle flame and artificial cobwebs covering almost every surface in amounts and patterns that somehow made him think of a really crochet-oriented spider. Dora snickered to herself, passing from room to room, while several jump-scare mannequins kept popping from left or right. There was an old bed linen with holes for the eyes, a skeleton with a few missing ribs, something that was barely resembling an old-school Dracula and a scrawny-looking furry creature that made Remus snort in amusement. He watched Dora as she wrapped her arm around the vampire-like mannequin and turned her face pale white to match it.

“Behold, overvorked mortal,” she called in an accent that didn’t resemble anything in particular, but somehow did indeed sound like a vampire should. “Vor I am Baroness ov dis mansion and I ‘ave cometh vor your blood!”

“Oh, woe on me,” Remus gasped, hiding a smile. “I’m all out of blood at the moment. Will cotton candy outside be enough, your baronessness?”

“Vot is dat cotton-candy ye speaketh ov, mortal?” Dora abandoned the mannequin and ran in his direction, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. She flashed him a smile, showing off she transformed her teeth into pointy fangs. For some reason it looked really good on her.

“Someone will see, Dora,” Remus protested weakly, not sure if he was thinking about her morphing ability or the sudden display of affection. She scoffed and rose to her tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips. He didn’t oppose that.

“You’re no fun sometimes, Remus,” she murmured, rubbing her nose against his. “Who cares if someone sees us? We’re bloody grownups, with kids, for Merlin’s sake!”

“Well, we’re also in public…”

“We’re in a public haunted mansion, big deal,” she gave him another kiss. “I have an idea. Let’s hide in that coffin, make out, and then scare the shit of some non-magicals, yeah?”

“Hmmm, yes to the first and to the second, but hell no to the third.”

“No fun, this one,” Dora sighed, pulling his arm. “C’mon then. We have about twenty minutes before Sirius gets nauseated from all the cup spinning and loses one of the kids. I hope it’s Teddy.”

“Mother of the year, my wife, everyone.”

“Shut up and kiss me, werewolf boy.”

[garoujo]

I WATCHED THE FIRST EP OF BLUE LOCK AND OMG BACHIRA??? HELP ME EMMIE MY HEAD IS SPINNING I FEEL SO DIZZY FOR HIMM

OMG BACHIRA ! I LOVEEEEE HIM SMヾ(｡>﹏<｡)ﾉﾞHES SO COOL ! HES SO PRETTY ! JOIN ME N MOSHI IN THE FERAL BLUE LOCK STATE OF MIND DO IT <3

[thewintersoldierdisaster]

hopper and reader take the kids to the carnival and have some fun themselves :)

“Okay, you all got your money?” Hopper says, snapping his fingers quickly to keep the kids’ attention. The gaggle of teens look up at him and nod. “Yeah, Chief. We’re all good,” Max Mayfield replies, the only one of the group to still have some respect left for Hopper.

“Can we go? This isn’t the first time we’ve been at the carnival,” Dustin grumbles a little, prompting bobblehead-like nodding from the others. Hopper narrows his eyes. “Yeah, Henderson, I know that. But do I gotta remind you what happened the last time the carnival was in town?” The Fourth of July and all of its related events are still fairly fresh, even two years later. Hopper especially bears scars from the experience, but all the kids know what happened. Dustin averts his eyes and scuffs the toe of his sneaker against the dirt. “No, sir.” The other teens shuffle around awkwardly and you roll your eyes at Hopper’s dramatics. You nudge him out of the way with your hip and look at the kids. “Just be careful and meet us back here at 10, okay?” you say, a bright smile on your face. “Have fun, it’s a gorgeous night and you’re young.” The kids let out excited whoops and run off, Hopper shouting after them, “Not too much fun!” You laugh, “Come on, Jim. You were a teenager once, let them have fun.” “Yeah,” he grumbles, taking hold of your hand, “I was a teenage boy an’ I know the kind of shit they get up to at carnivals like this an’ I just let my daughter run off with a teenage boy at a fuckin’ carnival.” He mutters to himself, trailing after you as you drag him through the stalls. You roll your eyes affectionately. “Forget about that, you know Mike’s a good kid. Let’s enjoy the carnival, Jim.” He looks down at you and smiles, the skin around his eyes crinkling. “Okay, yeah. What do you want to do first?” Using his free hand, Hopper grabs his cigarette carton from his back pocket and shakes one out. He snags it between his teeth and replaces the carton, smoothly taking out his lighter and holding the flame to the tip of the cigarette. You snatch it from his lips before he can get one puff in and hold it to your lips, inhaling deeply. He rolls his eyes, “Thief.” “Let’s get some ride tickets,” you suggest, blowing out smoke and then letting him have his cigarette back. “As you wish,” he winks. You laugh at the reference to The Princess Bride - it’s been a staple in the house, in constant rotation since El decided she loved the movie. Hopper took it upon himself to use Westley’s catchphrase whenever either you or El asked for something. “Come on, Westley,” you beam, heading for the ticket booth. “I’ve got my eye on that Ferris Wheel.”

********** “Jesus Christ, woman,” Hopper mutters, looking a little green around the gills. He grips on the edge of the guard fence, breathing deeply. “Did you have to egg Henderson on like that?” You rub his back in slow, soothing circles. “Sorry, Hop. Spinning teacups are not fun unless you almost puke.” He glares at you. “Not sure that’s true. Plenty’a rides are fun without pukin’.” You let him lead you in the direction of the food stalls, traipsing along behind him happily. The kids ran off in the opposite direction after the spinning teacups competition - shouting something about El’s powers and the games. Normally both you and Hopper were against El using her gifts for personal gain, but you figured that since the carnival games were rigged in the first place, it couldn’t hurt for her to even the playing field a bit. “I can think of at least one,” you wink, laughing loudly when Hopper groans at your terrible attempt at innuendo. “Let’s get some food, keep your mouth occupied so you don’t say anymore stupid shit,” he laughs, getting on the line for funnel cakes. You grin, “I can think of another way to keep my mouth occupied, Hop.” Hopper groans again and claps a hand over your mouth jokingly. “You gotta quit that, you’re terrible, babe.” You poke your tongue out of your mouth and lick his fingers. Hopper shouts and wipes his hand on the side of his thigh. You beam at him, looping your arms around his waist and resting your chin on his bicep. “You love me anyway,” you flutter your eyelashes at him, giggling. “I guess,” Hopper teases, pretending to think about it. His arms wrap around your back and he holds you close. “Gross,” Lucas and Max pop up behind you, hand in hand. “Old people shouldn’t show affection,” Lucas stage-whispers to Max, laughing. Max grins at her boyfriend and cuts her gaze to you and Hopper. “Hey,” Hopper admonishes, his arms still wrapped around you, “show a little respect. I’m the chief of police.” “We know,” Max sighs. “El wants to know if she can have another ten dollars.” “Why isn’t El asking me herself?” Hopper asks as you shuffle forward in line. “And,” he continues, “how’d she run out of the money I already gave her so fast?” Both teens shrug. Max offers, “She and Mike are on the Ferris Wheel, so we offered to find you and ask since we wanted to get food anyway,” as an answer to the first question. Before Hopper can say anything, you dig your hand into the pocket of your shorts and withdraw a crumpled ten dollar bill. Handing it over to Max, you say, “That’s the last one. Make sure El knows that, okay?” Max takes the bill and nods. “You’re cool, Y/n. We’ll tell El! Thanks!” She and Lucas run off and you watch them go with a small smile on your face. You feel Hopper staring at you and you look up at him. “What?” you ask, eyes crinkling as you smile softly. “Nothin’,” he replies. But he’s got a secret little smile on his face and his blue eyes are soft and loving. “Shut up,” you blush under his gaze, nudging your knuckles into his side. “Didn’t say anything”, he retorts. You roll your eyes. “Those stupidly gorgeous blues of yours did all the talking. It’s nothing. El’s a good kid and she deserves to have some fun.” “How’d I get so lucky?” Hopper shakes his head, disbelieving. “You love me and my kid.”

************ The BB pellet hits dead center on the target, joining the hole that the previous five pellets had made and the bored teen attendant sighs and says, “Take your pick from any of the big prizes, sir.” You let out an excited cheer and throw your arms around Hopper’s neck from behind, going up on tiptoes so you can reach. “That was so fucking hot, Hop,” you whisper into his ear, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Hopper laughs and sets the BB gun back on the counter. He loops one arm around your waist, pulling you around so your chest is pressed against his. He kisses you briefly. “Puttin’ my army skills to good use,” he says quietly. “Pick a prize, sweetheart.” You lean back in Hopper’s embrace and study the wall of prizes in front of you. You grin as your gaze lands on the three foot tall Tweety Bird. “That one!” you exclaim, pointing. The teen unhooks it from the wall and passes it over. Hopper rolls his eyes as you cuddle the stuffed toy. “That thing ain’t joinin’ us in bed,” is all he says before grabbing your hand and wandering off into the crowds. “Of course not!” you giggle, clutching Tweety Bird tight. “I’m just keeping him as a reminder of how amazing you are.” You smile winsomely at Hopper and he rolls his eyes again. “Flattery gets you nowhere,” he admonishes, winking at you. He checks his watch and frowns. “It’s almost 10, we’d better head back to the car.” “Mhm,” you hum in agreement, leaning closer to Hopper and resting your cheek against his bicep. It’s a gorgeous night and the noise and chaos of the carnival is white noise in the background as you walk hand in hand with Hopper. “They’d better be on time,” he grumbles, no real heat in his tone. You smile into the fabric of his shirt. “They will be,” you assure him. “This was a fun night, Jim.” Hopper looks down at you and the annoyed crease between his eyebrows softens. “Yeah, it was,” he agrees. His fingers tighten around yours, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. On the outskirts of the carnival grounds, someone sets off fireworks and you tilt your head up, watching the colors light up the sky. A grin spreads slowly across your face. You look over at Hopper and his face is all lit up from the fireworks - he looks at you, his expression soft, and you break your grip on his hand to curl that hand around his neck and press your lips to his in a searing kiss. The stuffed Tweety Bird is smushed in between you both, but you barely notice. His hands - large and warm - rest lightly on your lower back, just above the curve of your ass. Your nose brushes against his chin after you break the kiss and drop back down to flat feet. Hopper’s arms are still wrapped around you and you never want him to let go. “Hey,” he mumbles under his breath, “still got those tickets?” You have a handful of leftover ride tickets in your pocket - the carnival was meant to be set up for another few days so you were going to give them to El in case she and the gang wanted to come back another day. You nod in response to his question. “Good,” he says, “let’s take one more go on the Ferris Wheel.” “The kids?” you ask, already being led in the opposite direction of the parking lot. “Can wait,” Hopper replies breezily. “Make me wait enough for them. I’m gonna enjoy the fireworks with my girl.” You grin at his back when he turns to keep pulling you along. Jim Hopper’s girl. You like the sound of that.

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[uncpanda]

Carnival

AN: Bet y’all thought I was going to miss it, hunh? Well I made it with two hours to spare, and I actually really like this one! What other characters would you like to see appear in the challenge? 

Prompt: Stuffed animal Valentines Day

“I’m sorry, I know this probably isn’t how you wanted to spend Valentine’s Day.” 

Your eyes flick over to your boyfriend.  Instead of his usual suit he was dressed in jeans and a button down which was tucked in. The gun that usually sat at his hip was also missing. It was nice, seeing him outside the role of agent. 

“Aaron, I seriously don’t mind. This is, after all, a Valentine’s Day fair.” You motion to the chaos surrounding you of booths, rides, and sugary treats. 

He smiles, “Yes, it is a Valentine’s Day fair . . . put on by Jack’s elementary school. It’s just . . .” 

You take his arm and smush up next to him, “Perfectly fine. Plus . . .look.” You nod in the direction of Jack who is animatedly talking to a girl in his class. He’s smiling, and you can see a hint of a blush. It’s possibly the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen. 

Aaron threads his fingers through yours and the two you watch the two seven years olds exchange handmade Valentine’s cards. You pull your phone out and take a picture, while Aaron watches in amusement. You glance up at him, “Trust me, you’re going to want this picture down the road when he’s older and starts seriously dating.” 

“Please don’t go there. We’ve hopefully still got years until that happens. College, if we’re lucky.” 

You smirk, “For a lawyer and profiler you sure can be dumb sometimes.” 

He laughs, “I know that’s not a likely scenario, but still, a man can dream.” 

Your arm snakes around his back as his goes around your shoulders. The two of you stay like that, off to the side, and watching Jack until the boy runs back to you. He’s all smiles and wide eyes, “She liked the car I made!” 

You kneel down to his level and hug him, “That is awesome Jack!” 

Aaron holds out his hand for a high five, “That’s great buddy.” 

“Can we play games now?” 

Aaron shoots you a look that says, ‘see we still have years,’ before saying, “Absolutely.” 

The next several hours are spent playing on bumper cars, riding the teacups, going up on the ferris wheel, playing every game you can get your hands on, and consuming copious amounts of junk food. By nine o’clock Jack is passed out on your back. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to carry him.” 

You readjust the boy gently, “No. Your side is still recovering from that shot last week.” 

“It hit my vest.” 

“And you have a bruise the size of a pomegranate. I’ve got him. It’s not that far to the car.” 

Aaron gets a mischievous look in his eye, “We’re not going to the car.” 

“We’re not?” 

“Nope.” 

He stops right in front of the booth where you have to knock down the bottles with a ball. You give him a look, “You know this is rigged, right?” 

“I think I can handle it.” 

Forty-three dollars and ten minutes later Aaron does succeed. And when does, he picks out a love bug. It’s cheaply made, and he probably could have bought the same thing at a drugstore for ten bucks, but it’s the thought that counts. He holds it up for you to inspect, “What do you think.” 

“He’s very cute, but we’ll need to disinfect him when we get home.” 

Aaron smiles, “I just hope he holds up in the washer.” 

You laugh, and you make it to the car in record time. You transfer Jack to his carseat, with the boy still fast asleep, and you close the door. Before you can go to the passenger seat though Aaron grabs your hand and tags you to him, before you know it you’re in a lip lock. You respond immediately with your arms going around his neck so your fingers can tangle in his hair. 

When you pull apart he’s slightly breathless, and you’re really proud of yourself for it. His hands settle on your hips, “Next weekend we’ll go out and celebrate properly.” 

You step back and bite your lip, “And here I thought that’s what we were going to do when we got home?” 

You wink at him and climb into the passenger's seat, and you swear you’ve never seen the man move as fast as he does to the driver’s side. You can just laugh. 

[charming-charlie]

Washed Away

Title // Washed Away

Pairing // Evan Buckley x Reader

Warnings // Panic attacks sort of. This chapter is mostly clean.

Summary // Who knew hanging out with Buck and Christopher for a day would lead to a life or death situation?

Word Count // 1.5k

Prompt // Hi! Can i request a fic where you were with Buck & Christopher when the tsunami hit? They could be dating or crushing on each other. If nothing comes to mind, then it’s completely fine to ignore this request! Have a nice day!’

Author’s Note // This is Part 1 of the Washed Away series. || Part 2 || Part 3

It was a beautiful day at the pier. Crowded, yet beautiful. Carnival music was playing in every direction. The smell of funnel cakes, cotton candy, and popcorn wafted through the air. There was laughing, screaming, and merriment everywhere you looked.

You had to give Evan Buckley credit. He sure knew how to pick a good first date spot.

Okay, so maybe date was pushing it a little bit. You have known the guy for a while now, but that’s mostly because of Christopher. You are the nurse at Christopher’s school. It’s how you met Buck. When Christopher is ill, or perhaps has an incident where he needs to go home, sometimes Buck picks him up. He was, after all, one of the few people Eddie Diaz trusted around his son. Since Buck quit the LAFD and Eddie was working constantly to pick up the extra work, Christopher was often in Evan Buckley’s care.

And my goodness, what a charmer Evan Buckley turned out to be.

Buck and Christopher finished riding Shark Frenzy, a ride that reminded you of the teacups at Disney World. They met up with you at a blue picnic table, where you had cotton candy ready for the boys.

Buck took the blue one. “B for Buck, B for blue.”

Christopher took the pink one and dived right into it, giggling and enjoying himself.

“Mmm,” Christopher said with a satisfying smile. Pink floss was stuck to his fingers, but he paid no mind to it.

“Good?” Buck asked, and the little boy nodded. Buck went to snatch a piece, but Christopher pulled back with a laugh. It was kind of adorable to see.

“Where to next?” you asked as you looked around. In every direction, there were amusement park rides everywhere.

“Let’s take a break and play some games,” Buck said as he flashed you a charming smile.

The three of you cleaned up the table, with Buck tossing everything in the trash. You were on one side of Christopher and Buck was on the other, with the little boy using his crutches in between. Slowly, the three of you made your way to the arcade row on the pier. Games were lined up one right after another and Christopher pointed to a water gun shooting game.

“I want to play that,” he said, and Buck complied to his wishes.

You insisted on paying for a round or two, with Buck being out of a job and all, but the handsome ex-firefighter swatted your hand away and plopped two dollars on the table.

“Two rounds,” Buck told the person in charge.

“You are so stubborn,” you retorted as you pocketed your money.

Buck only smiled and sat down. He pulled Christopher into his lap and together, they began round one.

Christopher held the trigger and Buck controlled the aiming. The object of the game was to shoot a stream of water at a small target which will raise a platform. The first person whose platform reaches the top wins.

Together, they were invested. Honestly, you were watching from the sidelines and you thought for sure they had some kind of strategy planned out beforehand.

“I am so proud of you right now, I cannot be more proud of you. Come on, we’re so close! So close!” Buck was telling Christopher as their little platform was rising more and more with each passing second. Christopher was smiling the entire time, and when the bell rang, both boys acted like it was the greatest moment of their lives. They screamed and cheered, and celebrated their win.

“You did it! Come on, high five!” Buck said as he held his hand out.

Christopher slapped it as hard as he could, and Buck over-exaggerated the little boy’s strength and flailed backwards.

However, the sound of a siren interrupted the fun and games and Buck immediately turned. He was looking past you, over your shoulder. Slowly, he stood up, his eyes never leaving what was happening behind you. Curiosity got the better of you and you turned to see what the man was looking at.

“And we have a winner!” the man running the water gun booth said in the background, handing a giant brown teddy bear to Christopher.

But the two of you paid no mind to that as an ambulance rolled up through the crowd.

A person in some kind of dinosaur costume collapsed. Buck was inching closer to the scene, and you grabbed him by the arm to hold him in place. He looked down at your hand, which was around his bicep and his eyes traced your arm up to you.

“The paramedics got this,” you whispered to him and he nodded, looking defeated and a bit sad.

It broke your heart.

At school, when Christopher would see you, he would always go on and on about Buck and firefighting. Buck had such a passion for his job and to not have it at the moment must be soul-crushing.

“Buck!” Christopher said behind the two of you, “Buck!”

The paramedics shocked their patient with an AED and you could feel Buck exhale. He was holding his breath the entire time. You pulled him back and he turned to face you with a forced smile. While he would never admit it, he was so grateful you were there.

“Come on, you two. Let’s go sit down and take a break,” you said as you handed Christopher his crutches and abandoning the second round of the water gun game. The three of you found an empty bench at the edge of the pier and sat down. Christopher wanted to look out at the ocean, so Buck picked him up and helped him stand on the bench. Gripping the back of Christopher’s shirt tightly so that the boy doesn’t fall in, Buck sat down, and you sat next to him. There was silence for a little bit and you looked over at Buck, who seemed deep in thought.

“Ever think about what you wanna do with your life?” Buck asked, “What you want to be when you grow up?”

“Astronaut or a pirate,” Christopher answered instantly. It was like he didn’t even need to think about it.

Buck nodded in agreement. “Some good choices. Cool outfits too.”

“No wait,” Christopher said with a smile, “a firefighter.”

Of course, it made sense. His father was a firefighter and Buck used to be one. Growing up in that field and being around that environment made such an impression on Christopher.

Buck only chuckled and nodded a little to accept Christopher’s answer. He clenched his jaw, wanting to clearly move on from the topic. “What about you, Y/N? Was nursing what you always wanted to do?”

You turned to look at him, a little confused by the question. No one ever asked you that before. Everyone just assumed nursing was your passion, considering the overwhelming amount of schooling you need to become one.

“Yes,” you said with a nod, “I like helping others.”

Buck grinned and turned his head to look at you. He knew all about helping others. It was one of the many reasons the two of you relate so well with each other. Slowly, his hand was creeping off to the side, getting closer and closer to yours without trying to seem obvious. You didn’t even realize until his pinky finger was brushing the back of your hand.

“Yeah, me too.” Buck’s pinky linked through your own and you could swear that your heart fluttered as he touched you. Could it be? Did Evan Buckley have a little crush on you? Did you have a crush on Evan Buckley? Was this really happening?

He was gazing into your eyes and…wait a minute, was he leaning in? Should you lean in too? Not going to lie, you wanted to. And… there goes your head, getting closer and closer to his.

But he stopped. He looked alarmed, shocked even, and turned his head to look out at the ocean. You slumped back with a slight pout, knowing it was too good to be true. It was stupid to have a little crush on Buck.

The ex-firefighter was gripping onto Christopher’s shirt tightly as he stood up, your pinkies unlocking, and you could tell instantly that something was very wrong. You stood up too and looked at Buck.

He held onto Christopher as a crowd of people were gathering behind you, watching was well. Everyone seemed to stop in their tracks and stare at the ocean.

“What’s wrong?” you asked as you followed his line of sight out to the ocean.

But the answer was right there in front of you. The water had pulled back drastically.

“Where did all the water go?” Christopher asked, looking confused.

Panic was slowly rising inside of you as you stood next to Buck. You felt his hand slip into yours, holding your fingers tightly in a grip. You clung back onto him with your other hand wrapping around his arm tightly.

A warning siren blasted through the loudspeakers in place of the fun carnival music.

A giant wave was rolling back, taking in as much water as it could possibly carry. Your panic turned into fear as you saw the wave approach the shore. A massive tsunami was about to hit and you, along with Buck and Christopher, were trapped on the pier.

[chogiwank]

Redamancy - Doyoung

A/N: I have more planned for this fiction so I am planning on a part two. Thank you for all your support everyone, I apologize for not posting for so long but I am so thankful for all of you sticking by me. I hope you guys like this story! Feedback and criticism is appreciated. I am slightly rusty in my writing so I do apologize for shitty writing if so. I will try and post more works!

Word Count: 2K

Genre: Angst, Fluff, NonIdol!Doyoung (Established Relationship)

Warnings: death and mentions of cancer. Future mentions of ghosts/supernatural (possibly).

Summary: Redemancy -  an act of loving the one who loves you. She was looking for redemancy, she found it, but she could never keep it. Will she ever get a fate anything less than cruel?

Each morning she woke up to the polaroid covered wall. Plastered with old, once happy, now sorrowful memories. The reminisce of goofy, romantic dates: road trips, plane travels, stay at home dates alongside many others. Five years together gave a lot to remember with promises of marriage, a forever home, and children. The vows proved to be vain. On her nightstand lay the last Polaroid of their final date. The last Polaroid of his smile, she would never see again. His signature gummy smile, big and bright as he sat on the bench. A plaid green shirt, paired with his jeans and sneakers, a simple exterior. The background lit up from the strings of carnival lights, and behind were strings of the multiple events that happened prior and after. It brought despair, a lost future, he who had captured her heart, now a mere memory, broke her.

She pulls the white duvet covers over her face out of annoyance, from the bright warm light rays shining in her face, through the crack in the curtains. She rolls over successfully escaping the light, but the covers were too hot to burrito under. Eventually giving up, she throws the covers to the side, and sits up on the side of the bed. Her legs dangling over the edge of the bed, she scoots forward to stand up. Stretching her body and yawning out of her cozy slumber. She checks the time on the wall clock, 9:15 AM - a perfect time to wake up for the weekend and start having some fun. She walked off to the bathroom to get ready and prepare herself for the day.

            She brushes her teeth with mint flavoured toothpaste and brushes out her bed hair. Brushing out the hair gently, to soften it and take out the fizziness, and settling down flyaways. Through her process of fixing her looks and picking out clothes, she got hungry, craving something such as French toast with a drink on the side and some fruits - not too heavy and not too light of a breakfast. And so, she puts on her outfit of choice, sliding on her shoes at the door, but her ears perk up hearing a ding at her apartment door.

            Who could it be? She wondered. She did not make plans with anyone before, its so out of the blue.  She opens her door and sees a familiar face - her boyfriend, Doyoung.

            “Dons! Hey, love, what are you doing here? “She embraced him warmly and flashed a welcoming smile.

            “Don’t you remember Y/N? It’s the special day today!” She was confused, she furrowed her brows at Doyoung’s words. Doyoung caught on at her confused expression and chuckled, “OH! Do not tell me you forgot! It’s our five-year anniversary, baby!” Her eyes grew wide at his words, and cheeks flushed from embarrassment. Frantically apologizing to him, as she completely missed the date and did not even have anything to buy him. He told her not to worry, and to follow him out. He knew she must be hungry, so they caught a bus over to their favourite café in town to buy breakfast. She thanked him and happily dug into her breakfast, her stomach was growling throughout the car ride, and Doyoung kept teasing her about it. She couldn’t help it, when a girl has to eat, she has to eat!

And so, the couple finished their breakfast and Doyoung suggested that the two catch a bus and head over to the annual summer amusement park. She gleamed with joy, excitedly grasping his hand in hers. Glancing at the clock on the wall, she quickly dug through her bag, left a tip on the table for the workers, and  tugged him out of his seat, dragging him along, running towards the bus stop, “well then we better get going, or else we’re going to miss the bus!”

            And so, the two ran as fast as they could, laughing as they catch the bus last minute, thankfully the driver was kind enough to stop the bus and open up the doors again for the two. They thanked the driver and walked to grab a seat. Panting and quietly chuckling catching their breathes after running, they sat at the back of the bus. “wow, that’s about all the exercise I need today“  Y/N laughed at Doyoung’s comment. Hitting him with a witty response, “you do not even exercise, do not even say that!”

            The bus ride was about a thirty-minute (30) ride to the amusement park near the pier. Doyoung and Y/N made non-stop conversation the whole way, these two never stopped talking when they were together – honestly, that is one of the best things ever. When you have someone, you can continuously talk and talk and talk to, without either of you getting bored or tired. And that is the same person you can have a couple moments of silence with without the awkwardness which occurs. – These two were meant to be. Friends, best friends, and girlfriend and boyfriend. There was nothing more either one could ask more for.

            The two walked across the pier decorated with food, tickets, and game stalls. The waves of the blue coloured water below hit the pillars of the pier lightly. Doyoung stopped in his steps to play one of the pier games, a ring toss game. If he gets all of the rings in, he wins the big prize. He played the game and ultimately won, asking Y/N to pick out the prize and she got the giant stuffed plushie, “ I don’t know how we’re going to carry this around but for you, anything. Don’t lose it though you air head.” Doyoung teased Y/N, messing up her hair. She pouts at him for doing so, and turned her back on him, until she felt his fingers creep up her sides to tickle her. She laughed her lovely laugh and begged him to stop, and so he did – after a couple minutes that is.

They carried on with their day at the amusement park, playing many of the games, winning multiple prizes, no more big ones though, they did not even have a car to carry them, or the luck. The couple walked around and at the end of the pier they reached the rides. Roller coaster, ferries wheel, teacups rides, all that fun amusement park stuff. They were both thrill seekers, so of course, they ran to the biggest roller coaster first. The waiting line was 45 minutes though, but worth it - the ride was amazing and gave them great excitement. They moved on to the other rides, like the teacups, Y/N messed around and spun them faster and faster, until the two got dizzy. They walked off that ride with wobbly legs, holding on to one another to make sure they did not fall. That was enough for the rides for them today.

After a while, they moved on to trying the different food stalls – hotdogs, nachos, cotton candy, ice cream. All of it, until the two began to feel sick. They were not going to return to the rides after this, neither of them needed to throw up today and inconvenience themselves. They took a break and sat on one of the benches decorated with potted fern plants at each side. They talked and cracked jokes, admired the beautiful, coloured lights lit up around them, all around and throughout the amusement park. Basking in the cheers around them and the darkness of the night lit up from stringed lights, the twinkling stars and smiling moon.

There was a photographer taking pictures near the fountains, which switched through purple, blue, green, and red lights, giving them colour. They asked the man and paid their fee to have their photograph taken, he kindly accepted. He told them to pose and Doyoung lifted Y/N up into his arms, and spun her around. The photographer snapped a beautiful picture of them in the dark, fountains behind them in purple, and the couple lovingly smiling at each other. The love in their eyes bright, and true for each other. They thanked him and took their polaroid, amazed at the picture.

Later, Doyoung asks Y/N if she feels good enough to head on to the Ferris wheel, and then head home. It was 10 o’clock of the night, she happily nodded. And so, they walked towards the Ferris wheel and waited in line for their turn. Doyoung helped her step in, teasingly, Y/N curtsied as he helped her in, grabbing her hand, following her in after. They sat on one side of the Ferris wheel box, Doyoung’s arm around her, resting on her shoulder and her head on his shoulder. They slouched in their seats and admired the view of the pier. The shinning lights were so bright underneath them as the ride took them higher and higher. Finally reaching the top the ride stopped, letting them look at the town feeling like they were on top of the world.

The impeccable view of the park and town was breathtaking. The dark night was lit up by the lights in apartments, houses, and the amusement parks rides. The moon was glowing brightly, and the stars were out to compliment it, there was no cloud in sight, a clear night sky. There was something about the nighttime that was entrancing, maybe it was the view they had, or maybe Y/N loved this hour of the day more than the mornings and afternoons. No idea. But this day, this night was different, it was too good to be true and one of the best days she has had with Doyoung in a while. She lift her head up to look at Doyoung and he flashed his gummy smile at her.

That was when Doyoung broke apart from Y/N, reached into his trench coat’s pocket and pulled out a small red velvet box. Y/N was puzzled, furrowing her brows, and tilting her head in confusion. Her eyes grew wide as she sees him get down on one knee, look up at her, pop open the box and reveal a ring, with a gorgeous diamond in the middle, shaped like a circle, two tiny complimentary circle shaped diamonds decorated it. It was a gorgeous ring, and Y/N’s tongue felt like it was caught on something, her chest felt heavy, but she was happy. He flashes his gummy smile again , and asks her for her hand in marriage, to live together as husband and wife. If she was ready for that step. She was, she really was ready. But did not know how to express it. She felt nervous, but why? She did not know but she knew she could not say no. Although verbally that was hard for her, she lost her words. Instead, she took the ring and slide it on her left ring finger. Smiling and crying a couple tears of joy, she says a soft “I do,” and throws herself around Doyoung, embracing him in a tight hug. The two whisper each other sweet I love you’s, holding each other close as the ride starts up again, and brings them down from the top.

Full of glee, the two walk out hand in hand, giving each other a quick kiss. Y/N speaks up and asks, “why don’t you stay over at my place today? It is late, might as well.” He happily accepts, and the couple begins to walk out of the amusement park. They walked together for about 5 minutes to reach the nearest gas station, where the bus stop was. The bus stop bench was empty, perfect for them to sit for the next 10 minutes, until the bus was arriving. Doyoung excused himself to head to the gas station’s bathroom, “I think I drank too much of those sodas.” Y/N nodded and smiled at Doyoung as he heads inside.

She took out her phone to scroll through her social media while she was waiting for him. Laughing at the funny pictures showing up on her Instagram feed. Suddenly, she hears loud noises coming from behind her, in the gas station. She turns around and her eyes grow wide out of fear. She sees Doyoung and the cashier held at gunpoint from the robbers. She did not know what to do, should she call the police? Does she run? Can she jump in to help and save Doyoung? She must save him, but she can’t she’s defenseless. She panics, looking around to see if anyone at all is there she can call out to. No one, no one was there just her, just Doyoung and the cashier. They were held at gunpoint, she was there away from the danger, she had to call the police. With shaky hands, she watches the cashier pull out the money from the machine, and she begins dialing the emergency number. Her breathing was hard, she felt choked up, her eyesight blurring from tears. She heard a voice on the other line answer, and she explained the situation – the lady confirmed they will be sending police over right now, and that Y/N should keep herself somewhere safe.

And so, the line went dead, Y/N eyes frantically shifted, and breath hitched as one of the robbers shot the cashier with their gun, and the same one shot Doyoung. Right in front of her eyes. She screamed out for him and panicked even more. She ran, and ran, and ran far from the danger. She ran down to the trees, to blend in with the darkness – to avoid the same misfortune which she experienced Doyoung face.

She mumbled to herself, angry, scared, distraught. She cried and cried and cried, she punched the ground with her hand. What is this cruel fate? What is this? Why would this happen? This could not happen. Today was so perfect, so amazing, so fun. Why would such a cruel fate take over? Maybe she just passed out after the immense amount of cotton candy and hotdogs she ate; it was just a nightmare in a food comma right? Wake up, Y/N, wake up! She screamed in her thoughts repeatedly.

And then, she noticed her hand. Her left hand and ring finger. She spots the silver diamond ring Doyoung gave her, and she knew she had to face the truth. She had to accept that the universe just took him from her. They took away her love, the one person she invested herself in for five years. Took away someone who loved her in all her best and worst times. He helped her when her mother died from cancer – it was the hardest thing she ever went through. Seeing her mother’s health deteriorate for two years, as she fought a never-ending battle, that kept taking her life away, slowly, painfully. It made Y/N lose her sleep, and it made her school grades suffer, it made her emotional stability a mess. It made her a mess. But Doyoung was there for her, to help her, to comfort her. She was a wreck, and he was her support when she lost one of the people she truly loved and cared for. And then came Doyoung, he began to build her up. He made her believe there was more for her to live for. Her mother’s life was not hers. Her mother would want her to continue and not give up. She needs to continue life and continue happily. That is what he told her. That was six years ago, last year of highschool. And now, she lost the person who built her up when she was broken. That shattered her. It shattered her heart into millions of pieces. The pain she had not felt for five years, returned.

The pain was going to ruin her again. She felt as if the universe despised her, and her happiness. She was always refused to have happiness, true happiness that is. Her happiness with her mother was snatched away, and now her happiness with her boyfriend, her fiancée, the love of her life was taken away. She could not get any of it back. She could not even erase the memories from her mind. It was such a tragedy, she hated it. She hated herself. She hated her fate, and whatever it had planned for her. She knew there could not be anything good ahead for her. Not after this, she can not trust what it holds for her. She does not want to know or experience this anymore.

Out of her anger and sadness, she strikes a hard punch to the tree, her knuckles becoming scratched and bloody. It was her fault. Her mom, Doyoung and any other death she experiences in front of her, was probably going to be her fault. She should have helped them. She should have gone inside to help Doyoung, maybe, maybe if she did, he would be alive. Or she would at least be in his place, or even with him. She would not have to be lonely.

That is what she hated so much, she was always lonely, and when she was not, she ultimately ended up alone again. For once, she felt like she did not need to be, but now it just proves to her, she deserves her loneliness.

And so, Y/N at this point believed not all stories have happy endings, and hers, was never meant to be happy.

[stxphxn-strange]

spun sugar (written for the ironstrange fanfic challenge)

Summary: He didn’t feel like going out, but he needed a distraction. Nothing would be able to take his mind off of the phone call he was waiting for, the call he knew would never come. Not even a double date to the carnival with Anthony, Hope, and Christine kept him focused today, and he was actually starting to need a distraction from his distraction. 

a/n: just a heads up that this fic is on the heavier side of angsty so please be careful and safe! tw: for homophobia/mentioned use of slurs, outing, death (drowning), and family issues, and i think that’s it

Today felt like the world’s longest deja vu episode. It felt like standing in line at a carnival for hours, only to spin endlessly on one of those teacup rides. Everything was an unbreakable cycle of doubt, confusion, anger, and the old familiar self loathing. So for Stephen, it was just Thursday. 

She didn’t forget. 

She probably forgot! 

She didn’t forget. She didn’t call on purpose. 

She knows what today is. 

She doesn’t want to talk to me. 

I don’t want to talk to her either, and yet I still wish she’d call. Maybe then I could pretend that things are sort of okay. 

Stephen sighed, completely tuning out his professor. He hadn’t been paying attention all class and wasn’t going to start now. There were more important things to be thinking about, like the nap he was going to take when he got home, or the fact that it was Victor’s birthday. 

It was Victor’s birthday, and Stephen wanted to plan some sort of surprise call and later invite his brother to visit him in the city. Eugene immediately took to the idea and offered to help plan it and reach out to more of the family, but there was a catch. Of course Beverly had to be involved in some capacity. Even if she didn’t want to be associated with her older son, her younger one was near and dear to her heart and she wouldn’t hesitate to do anything for him. Except this, apparently, because that would involve speaking to Stephen. The med student didn’t expect to hear back from his mother and truthfully never expected a lot from her generally, but his hopes were still up. 

Waste of time. She doesn’t need me. 

She doesn’t even want me. 

Stephen checked the time again. His lecture would be over in 15 minutes, and the next one started in half an hour. That gave him enough time to grab a coffee and call his dad on the walk across campus, and to make the time pass now he’d organize his inbox. 

Most of his messages weren’t surprising (they were mainly just calendar invites and the occasional email from Anthony with an article Stephen might like) or even worth reading, but Stephen was a bit surprised when Eugene called him first. He had a solid relationship with his dad, but it was still unfamiliar for Stephen to have his family approach him first. Usually it went the other way around. 

“I was just about to call you,” he said. “What’s going on? Mom never told me when the family call is” 

“That’s the bad news,” Eugene replied. “Your mom changed the plan.” 

“So she shut me out? Again? Is that what I’m supposed to understand?” Stephen asked, his voice cracking like the thinnest sheet of winter ice under heavy footfalls. “I didn’t do anything.” 

Eugene sighed. “I’m sorry.” That was all the confirmation Stephen needed. 

“What happened?” He asked. “She would do anything to make Victor happy, even if it means acknowledging me as part of the family.”

“Which you are,” Eugene argued. 

“Not according to Mom, and you know that,” Stephen replied. “Please just tell me what happened, my next class starts soon.” 

“Your aunt called to wish Victor a happy birthday and then was chatting with your mom about the family, as they do. I think she asked your mom how you were doing and how your love life in school was going, but at that point I wasn’t really listening. You know that your aunt is one of my few in-laws I actually tolerate, maybe even like, and today she proved exactly why. Claudia said something about you, and based on your mom’s reaction it wasn’t what she wanted to hear,” Eugene explained. “She knows you’re gay and is really happy for you, against your mom’s expectations and wishes that she’d be ashamed.”

“That was the first time they’ve talked about my sexuality, right? Because I never came out to her. I assume Maxwell brought it up for some reason because I came out to him years ago. Why he’d bring it up now, I don’t know,” Stephen replied. 

“As far as I know, this is the first time Claudia brought it up. I assume if they’d talked about it before, your mother would’ve gotten angry or cut her off. She wasn’t happy today,” Eugene said bluntly. It wouldn’t do any good to sugarcoat the truth when Stephen already knew all of this. 

“Great! Mom’s already mad enough at me for coming out and being proud of myself. I bet I ruined her relationship with Aunt Claudia because I blabbed and Maxwell clearly takes after Mom since he outed me for no reason!” Stephen snapped. He took a deep breath, his head spinning. “Sorry for yelling, Dad.” 

“I don’t need you to apologize. You have every right to be hurt, for a lot of reasons,” Eugene said. “But to make a long story short, she told me flat out that she wouldn’t be talking to you today and then left for work at the same time she always does.” 

“Can I talk to Victor at least? I don’t care if she doesn’t want to talk to me, but I can’t ignore him,” Stephen pleaded. “I can’t not be there for him on his birthday, that’s cruel!”

“I know you want to be there for your brother, it’s okay. That’s the good news and why I called you. Give me a minute,” Eugene replied. 

Stephen mumbled some kind of response, slowly but impatiently shifting his weight from side to side. He was thinking about blowing off the rest of his classes for the day, emotional exhaustion overtaking him. He could usually power through things like this, as he was used to his mother steadfastly refusing to accept him. Today she and her hatred actively prevented Stephen from wishing his little brother a happy birthday, and that was too damn much. The fact that his cousin suddenly outed him almost three years after Stephen came out was only making him angrier. Stephen always tried to do the best that he could for his family, especially his younger sibling(s), and was even more protective of Victor in the wake of Donna’s death. All he wanted was to look after everyone he cared about, and his sexuality didn’t negatively affect his protective oldest child instincts. If anything it made them stronger because Stephen always wanted to be an ally for his siblings. He would always stand up for them when they needed. 

Sometimes he felt like he failed Donna, despite his best efforts to keep her safe and make her happy. Stephen couldn’t fail Victor and let their mother’s actions come between them. He wouldn’t. He looked at his phone to distract himself, editing his coffee order to include a latte for Anthony. He was usually home around this time and would more than likely appreciate the surprise coffee. 

Thinking of his boyfriend, the love of his life and his person, made Stephen smile just enough to prevent him from sobbing in the middle of Starbucks. 

Two (2) minutes that felt like an eternity later, Victor came to the phone. “Hello?” 

“Happy birthday Vic!” Stephen forced a smile, hoping some cheer could be detected in his voice. 

“Thank you,” Victor replied with an emotion that Stephen couldn’t place.

“Sorry I couldn’t be there today or join the family call. I wanted to be part of the call at least, but…”

“It’s okay. I know you care, and I know you wouldn’t forget my birthday just because you’re busy.”

“Right… busy!” Stephen’s laugh was forced. “I would never miss your birthday, and not just because I have a flawless memory.” 

“I was just starting to miss you until you said that. Damn shame.” 

“Not only is today your birthday, it’s apparently also the start of you acting like the smartass you‘ve grown up to be,” Stephen quipped. Eugene’s noisy laughter could be heard even over the phone. 

“I didn’t come into this world as a smartass like you. I had to learn from you, unfortunately,” Victor replied. “And I’m glad to see you’re amused, Dad!” 

“I taught you everything I know, and this is how you thank me?” Stephen asked. 

The barista called out Stephen’s order. 

“Hey I have to get going, but you and Dad should come visit me in New York sometime soon,” Stephen offered. 

“That sounds nice, but you can also just call me. Contrary to popular belief I do want to talk to you on days that aren’t holidays,” Victor replied. “But New York sounds fun.” 

I wish we could talk whenever, like we used to when I was welcome under her roof. 

“I want to go to the city, I’m sick of the neighbors,” Eugene added. “We’ll have to plan a trip, but for now we’ll let you get ready for class.” 

“Thanks Dad. Love you both, and I hope you have a great birthday, Vic!” Stephen hung up before they could reply, grabbed his coffees, and dragged his feet the rest of the way home. 

++++

Anthony was in the kitchen, serenely flipping through a magazine and eating lunch when Stephen trudged in. He paid no mind to the door opening at first, dipping his grilled cheese into the steaming cup of soup beside him and continuing to peruse the pages. 

Stephen smiled fondly at the sight of him, the tiniest bit of joy finding its way to his heart. 

“I got you a latte,” Stephen said, setting both drinks on the counter. 

Anthony gasped, curiously ignoring the coffee completely and standing up to hug Stephen. “Thank you cuore mio.” 

“I figured I’d surprise you since I’m home early,” Stephen replied. He relaxed into the hug, slouching in Anthony’s arms. 

“I appreciate that, but I’m much happier to see you. We both left at weird times this morning so we didn’t get to talk and get ready for the day together like we usually do,” Anthony said, a little pout on his face. 

“Well we’re both home now, and I’m really tired.” Stephen was beyond tired and beyond annoyed, swaying a bit in Anthony’s arms.

Anthony hugged him closer and tighter to steady him. “Let’s go sit. Did you have lunch?” 

“No, I just got coffee and came right home,” Stephen replied. 

Anthony handed over the other half of his sandwich. “Take this then, I just made it. There’s tomato soup too, since Bucky made me go to Panera with him earlier.” 

Stephen was about to object, stopping himself only when he saw the mirthful light in Anthony’s eyes. “What?”

“I mean I don’t mind either way, but I’m giving this to you so you don’t swipe it from me like the mischievous, overgrown British shorthair you are,” Anthony teased. “You’re not subtle.”

“If I was a cat, we both know I’d be a calico,” Stephen replied. 

“I disagree. What are you doing for the rest of the afternoon?” Anthony asked. 

Stephen shrugged. “I kind of want to nap. Preferably with you, under a blanket, and in front of the fireplace.” 

“That sounds nice,” Anthony murmured, reaching up to softly caress Stephen’s cheek. “Let’s go, then.” 

As soon as they were settled, Stephen rested his head on Anthony’s shoulder and practically melted into his side. 

They made idle chatter and finished their lunch, Stephen glancing at his phone every now and then. 

It’s stupid to hope something will change. 

He knew his mom wasn’t going to call him, and that still stung no matter how much he tried to move past it. Stephen also knew she wouldn’t ever accept him again, and she’d continue to use his identity against the rest of the family who he loved and who loved him in return. Be it immediate family or the most distant relatives, Beverly was determined to exile him completely, erasing her oldest son from the family story. 

Victor probably suffered the most from this, aside from obviously Stephen himself. Contrary to what their mother thought, Victor deserved to talk to whoever he wanted on his birthday, including Stephen. Being the middle child, Victor was the link between cautious Stephen and carefree Donna. The three siblings were incredibly close growing up, and their sister’s death took as much of a toll on Victor as it did on Stephen. Stephen almost left home for good a few days after Donna’s funeral, almost leaving his little brother behind. It was impossible to forget anything about that day. 

Stephen knocked on his brother’s door. 

“It’s open!” Victor was sitting on the floor building a Lego castle. 

Stephen sat on the floor across from him. “This looks really good, Vic!” 

“Do you want to help me finish it?” Victor asked. 

“I can’t today. I actually came in to tell you that I might be leaving home for a little bit,” Stephen replied. He rested his head on one of his hands. 

“When do you leave?” Victor asked, still not looking at him. 

“Tonight or early tomorrow. I’m going to New York to help Anthony move,” Stephen said, making up a reason as he finished answering. It was true that he was going to New York to see Anthony, but he couldn’t tell Victor the real reason why. He’d already been through enough the past few days, he didn’t need to know that Stephen and Beverly weren’t on speaking terms as of today. He didn’t need to know that their mother was trying to kick Stephen out. 

Victor just sat quietly and nodded, not registering his brother’s distress. “So you have time to help me build then. Can you hand me that brick, please?” 

Stephen smiled sadly and obliged. 

They were quiet, just working together like nothing was wrong until an overwhelming clamor filled the farmhouse. 

“Dad’s home,” Stephen remarked. 

“Are he and mom arguing?” Victor asked. “Why?”

Stephen knew why, but he held his tongue and just shrugged. “I’m not sure.” 

Victor nodded and went back to building. “Make sure you follow the directions, I want this to be perfect.”

They continued to work diligently, not saying much to each other but listening to the argument from the kitchen. It wasn’t easy to make out what Mr. and Mrs. Strange were saying, but their mutual anger hung in the air long after the conversation ended. The whole house felt different, its welcoming energy replaced with something sinister. 

And then someone knocked on the door. “Boys?” 

“Hi Dad!” Victor said. “You can come in, Stephen is helping me build the castle set that you gave me!”

Eugene walked in, standing in the doorway and watching his sons work for a minute. “Stephen, can I talk with you for a minute? Sorry to tear you away from your building, but you can finish up later. I also brought home dinner. Victor, go eat with Mom before it gets cold.” 

“Cool, thanks Dad!” Victor stepped cautiously over his castle and headed downstairs. 

Stephen was still on the floor, Eugene sitting at Victor’s desk. He didn’t know what this conversation was going to be like, and fear made him snatch the first words without giving them much thought.“Dad, I fucked up.” 

“I’m going to be honest, I don’t see it that way,” Eugene said. 

Stephen had been staring at the carpet until then, looking sharply up at his father. “What?” 

“I said I don’t see it that way. You didn’t mess up,” Eugene repeated himself. 

“Mom wants me to go,” Stephen mumbled. He hung his head again, looking at the carpet. Victor’s room was the only carpeted one in the house, and no one knew why. 

“Your mother also wants me to stop leaving my computer in the dining room since that’s apparently ‘her space,’ but last I checked this is our home and she doesn’t have a monopoly on that room,” Eugene replied. 

Stephen was quiet for a minute. “She says it’s not my home. Not anymore, anyway.” 

“That’s what we were arguing about,” Eugene said. “I came home from work and she told me what you talked about and how she felt. I don’t agree with her.” 

“I wanted to tell you myself,” Stephen muttered. “She had no right to tell you, that’s not what you’re supposed to do!” 

Eugene didn’t say anything, unsure of what he  could say to make this better. 

“I didn’t time this well, I know, and I’m sorry. I should’ve given Mom more time to process losing Donna, and—”

“Stephen, I think your mother would’ve responded the same way if your sister was here. It’s nothing to do with the circumstances and everything to do with her,” Eugene said. 

Stephen nodded slowly. “Are you upset with me Dad?” 

“No I’m not, and I don’t think you should go,” Eugene replied. 

“I probably should, for a few days,” Stephen said. “Anthony’s in New York, and I know I just saw him but I wanted to go visit again before he leaves for boarding school.” 

Eugene nodded. “As long as you’re back at least a day before your school year starts.” 

“Mom isn’t going to want me to come back, but I don’t want to leave Victor! I can’t abandon him!” Stephen said. 

Eugene shook his head. “It’s not up to her. You’re our son, mine and hers equally, and I want you to be home with us while you finish high school. Besides, you and Victor need each other especially now. Your mom isn’t the only one who decides what family means. You are both our sons, and though our family might be a little smaller, we’re still family.” Eugene grabbed a box of tissues from Victor’s desk, handing them to Stephen as he began to cry. 

“Thanks Dad.”

“It’s going to be okay. What day are you planning on going to New York?” 

“I booked a flight for early tomorrow morning, Ant said anytime in the afternoon he’d be around.” 

“And are you going to finally stop pining for each other and tell him how you feel while you’re there?” 

“Dad!” Stephen hesitated before continuing. This was unfamiliar territory, discussing his love life with his father. Eugene knew Anthony and could obviously tell how Stephen felt, but it was weird to talk about this. Still, curiosity got the better of him. “Do you think I should?” 

To make a long story short, that’s how they ended up here, in the apartment they shared with three of their friends while Anthony repeatedly nudged Stephen with his elbow. 

“What do you want?” Stephen muttered, failing to even pretend like he was annoyed. 

“Scoot over so I can go to the kitchen!” Anthony said, the slightest hint of a whine in his voice. 

Stephen shifted and grumbled a little protest as he stood up. 

Anthony smiled and kissed the top of his head. “I’ll be right back, then you can cling to me as much as you want.” 

Stephen sighed, half in teasing exasperation, and looked at his phone again. He was staring daggers at it when Anthony returned, letting it go when he was pulled into a hug. 

“Did you hear back from her yet? What time is the call?” Anthony asked gently, beginning to stroke Stephen’s hair. 

“She hasn’t called yet.” That wasn’t a lie, but Stephen was too upset to give Anthony more details right now. 

Anthony hummed, kissing his head again. “She will.” 

“I don’t— yeah. She will,” Stephen mumbled. Also not a lie, as he was still clinging to the thinnest shred of hope that his mom would change her mind. 

She won’t. 

It doesn’t matter how much she loves Victor and values his happiness, I’m dead to her and that’s final. 

“How was your day?” Stephen asked, eager if not desperate to change the subject. “Did you present the business plan you were telling me about? How did it go?” 

“I did! Honestly it went really well, I wasn’t nervous like I usually am,” Anthony replied. 

Stephen yawned. “I’m so happy for you. Every time you practiced presenting it to me, you were amazing.” He was physically and mentally weary, exhaustion dragging him into a midnight blue haze, but he was never too tired to give Anthony the praise he deserved. 

“Thank you,” Anthony murmured. His eyes were closed, but Stephen could practically hear Anthony’s soft smile. 

“I mean it,” Stephen said. “Love you.” 

He was surrendering to the exhaustion, to the warmth of the fire and the blanket and Anthony’s embrace. Sometimes knowing that Anthony loved him and feeling the manifestations of his love made Stephen feel a little better. This was reprieve, and he was going to revel in it until reality came back to kick his ass. 

Anthony still sounded like he was smiling. “I love you too. Get some rest sleepyhead.” 

++++

Anthony woke up first, his phone ringing loudly from the carpet below. He was going to just ignore it, mistaking the notification for an alarm, until he came to his senses a little more and realized Christine was calling. 

“Your boyfriend is bad at answering his phone,” she’d said. 

“Hello to you too, Christine. He’s sleeping,” Anthony replied. “We both were, actually.” 

“So sorry to have interrupted your mid afternoon nap,” Christine drawled. “But I’m glad you were resting. Stephen seemed really off today during class, and as much as I hate to admit it I was a bit worried.” 

“You’re too much of a helicopter parent friend to pretend like you’re not concerned,” Anthony said. “I can see right through that.” 

Christine just laughed. “Anyway, I know you could talk about Stephen for probably years but I called for a reason.”

“What’s up?” Anthony asked. Stephen was still asleep in his arms, and Anthony tried his best not to disturb him. “Everything okay?”

“Oh yeah I’m fine! I was just gonna ask if you two wanted to go on a double date with me and Hope later? It’s the first night of the carnival,” Christine said. “Sam and Bucky aren’t planning on going until tomorrow because they’re boring, and we want an adventure.” 

“Going out on a Thursday night counts as an adventure?” Anthony asked. 

“Why wouldn’t it?!” Christine protested. “Let me know what you decide to do and just text me or Hope, we can plan to meet up later. I take it Stephen isn’t going to class but I am, so I’ll talk to you later.” 

“Sounds good, bye Christine!” Anthony rolled his eyes in amusement, opening a game on his phone and holding Stephen closer. 

It wasn’t more than twenty minutes later when he woke up, checking his phone and trying to hide his disappointment when his mom didn’t call. 

What did I expect? She made up her mind. 

She doesn’t want to talk to me. 

Why am I pretending she cares, hoping she’ll call? 

Stephen huffed out a sigh, more angry with himself than anything else. 

“Nothing yet?” Anthony asked gently. 

“No,” Stephen replied. He felt anger boiling in his system, unease taking over as he continued to lie and hope that something would change. 

“I’m sorry,” Anthony said. “The day is still young.” 

“I guess that’s true.” Stephen didn’t know if going along with what Anthony said was helping or hurting at this point. “I have a ton of missed calls from Christine though.” 

“Oh yeah, she invited us on a double date with her and Hope since it’s the first night of the carnival,” Anthony replied. “You in?” 

“Not really.” Stephen answered without even giving it much thought. 

“Okay.” Anthony was always so amenable, sensitive, and empathetic, even at the expense of what he wanted. Sometimes Stephen’s heart ached at how selfless Anthony was and how much he cared for people. It was a privilege to be someone Anthony loved, but Stephen had to remind him constantly that relationships were a give and take. He didn’t want to drain Anthony’s kindness, not the way people in his past did. He wanted and tried to be as giving and loving to Anthony as Anthony was to him. 

He didn’t even sound upset about not going out, but Stephen’s anxiety kicked in and convinced him otherwise. “Well wait Ant, what do you want to do?” 

“It might be fun, but—”

“Why not go, then?” 

Anthony was stunned by how fast Stephen changed his mind, trying to read his face for things his words left unsaid. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine… just a little jittery waiting for this stupid call. A distraction might help, and you’re right! It probably will be fun. Plus I don’t want to selfishly keep you from being out with friends, that’s not fair to you.”

“Nope, you stop that right now,” Anthony admonished gently. “If I wanted to go with our friends, I would. I want to spend time with you tonight, whatever that looks like, and we’re both allowed to want things. They don’t have to be the same thing, and you’re not selfish or controlling for disagreeing with me. Believe me?” 

“I wish I could, because I know you mean it. I just feel like a failure since I can’t be there for Victor the way I want,” Stephen replied. “And I know it’s not my fault, but…”

“But it still hurts.” Anthony gently cupped his face and leaned in to kiss him. “Right?” 

Stephen nodded, whispering a pained “yes,” into the kiss. It hurt more than Anthony knew, more than he was ready to discuss. 

“You’re not a failure. You’re just trying to make everyone happy even when the most fucked up circumstances  get in the way. It’s not a bad thing to prioritize yourself, and in fact it’s a good thing to give yourself the kindness you give to others. You have to,” Anthony said, protectively wrapping his arms around Stephen.

“I’m glad you listen to my advice enough to repeat it back to me, at the very least,” Stephen quipped. 

“Yeah yeah, I know I sound like a hypocrite since I—”

“Since you’re not nice to yourself, even though you deserve to be,” Stephen finished his sentence. “I just want to be able to make someone happy today. I want to make you happy.” 

Anthony smiled sadly and kissed him again. ��I love you so much, you idiot. You always make me happy, and I’m always here for you.” 

“I know you are. I love you too,” Stephen replied. “A distraction honestly might help me deal with the waiting game, though.” 

“It could!” Anthony nodded, playfully adding, “I’ll make it worth your while.” 

“Oh yeah? How?” Stephen played along. 

“We can start by getting your favorite sushi,” Anthony offered. 

Stephen genuinely smiled at that, attempting to hide it by burying his head in Anthony’s shoulder. “Really?” 

“Why not?” Anthony replied. “It’s been awhile since we went to that restaurant anyway.” 

“It’s been too long,” Stephen corrected him. “I’m not sure if I’m feeling up to being out for dinner and then going out later, though. I feel bad because you’re trying so hard to plan something fun, and—”

“You don’t have to feel bad. It’s not a problem, we can just order in and stay home until later. That’s what I was planning anyway,” Anthony said. “And if you don’t feel like going out tonight, we really don’t have to.” 

“I want to, but I also don’t,” Stephen said. “You know what I mean?” 

Anthony nodded. “Yeah, I do. I’m fine with whatever though, it’s up to you.” 

“Let’s go then. I’m still kind of on the fence, but I’m leaning towards yes.” 

++++

He was just being himself, but Anthony was making good on his little teasing promise to make the fair worth Stephen’s while. He had some magical effect where his smile made anyone’s heart sing, and his spell was especially powerful on Stephen. He was truly having fun, for the most part. His motion sickness didn’t flare up at any point, which meant he could spin a bit faster than normal on the teacups ride. It was exhilarating and just dizzying enough that he leaned slightly into Anthony’s shoulder while the group decided what to do next. Stephen found he was oddly at peace with himself and the evening, probably because of Anthony’s spell. 

“Okay, here’s what I want to know: what the hell is a hall of mirrors?” Anthony asked. 

“How do you not know?” Christine replied, her eyebrows racing up towards her hairline. 

“Never in my life have I been exposed to anything that would entail being in a hall of mirrors,” Anthony muttered. 

“Surely you’ve been to a carnival before, right?” Hope asked. 

“Yes, and amusement parks! But again, I have no idea what it actually is,” Anthony said. “I’ve never seen one until right now.” 

“It’s just as it sounds, Ant. It’s a room full of mirrors, almost like a maze I think, and some of the mirrors are distorted. It’s hard to explain without seeing it, but it’s kind of funny,” Stephen replied. “You’re the only person in life who ever gives me an answer,” Anthony half-joked, linking arms with Stephen. “The only person.” 

“Rude, didn’t I just tell you the other day about—”

“Hope I love you but I made my point very clear,” Anthony teased. “I need to see these mirrors.” 

Stephen smiled. Anthony was so full of an almost childlike wonder, he was kind of like the human equivalent of a ferris wheel… somehow… the comparison made more sense in his head. “This is going to be adorable.” 

“Can we go?” Anthony was almost bubbly with excitement. 

Stephen couldn’t say no to him, and right now he didn’t want to. “Yeah, come on.” 

“It’s this way, let’s go!” Christine pointed vaguely to her left and led the way. 

Stephen didn’t know what Anthony expected to see in a room that was literally just Full Of Mirrors, but his every reaction to it was more endearing than the last. 

“Could you imagine decorating an entire house like this?” He asked, looking around the room. 

“You mean you haven’t?” Christine teased. 

Stephen rolled his eyes. “I can barely stand to look at myself for five minutes, this is like hell on earth. Don’t give Ant any ideas about redecorating our apartment, Christine.” 

“She doesn’t need to, I wouldn’t do it,” Anthony replied. “Even I don’t need to see this much of myself.” 

Christine laughed at their antics before chasing after Hope and giving them a moment alone. There weren’t many other people around, so Stephen had an unobstructed view of several of his reflections checking their phones. 

Anthony was still standing beside him, taking everything in. “You okay?” 

Stephen (and all of his clones) nodded. “Yeah, I guess. Still no updates though.” 

I can’t even be honest with him. I can barely be honest with myself at this point. 

“I’m sorry Steph.”

“It’s okay! I’m probably more anxious than I need to be, it’s really fine.” 

Anthony frowned slightly but didn’t push him. “I feel like there should be at least one control variable, just a basic full body mirror at the beginning and/or end of these things.” 

“There usually is at the end,” Stephen replied. “At least I think. It’s like when you leave home and take another glance at yourself to make sure you look decent. You’re the one who can, and you do, spend five minutes in front of any mirror, so—”

“That’s absolutely not true and you know it. The longest I’ve looked at myself in the front hallway mirror specifically is three minutes tops” 

Stephen rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say, babe.” 

They continued their walk around the winding hallways, coming to a stop at a standard mirror just in front of the exits. 

Christine and Hope were chattering outside, looking at a map of the fairground that they’d found somewhere (Stephen hadn’t a clue where, seeing as he wasn’t paying attention at the time). 

“We look cute,” Anthony remarked. 

“You do, I don’t,” Stephen said. 

“No, we both do!” Anthony’s stubbornness was coming out to play, it seemed. “I mean I know you only keep me around because I’m adorable, but I’m probably the luckiest guy in the world to be yours.” 

Stephen blushed and looked at his shoes. “Yeah, I’m only with you because you’re hot and not at all because you’re my best friend who I happen to be madly in love with.” 

“Aww.” Anthony smiled and squeezed Stephen’s hand, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “I love you too, you asshole.” 

Stephen looked up, staring at their reflections and different expressions. His smile was tired and clearly forced, while Anthony’s was genuine and bright. He couldn’t help but sigh, disappointed in himself for not matching his boyfriend’s energy.

“You sure you’re okay?” Anthony asked. 

“I’m trying to be,” Stephen replied. “That’s the best answer I have, and it may not seem like I’m trying very hard, but I am.” 

“I know. Stress and anxiety don’t just go away when you ignore them, unfortunately,” Anthony reminded him. “Attention whores that they are.” 

Stephen laughed, surprised as always by Anthony’s sudden dry delivery and humor. “I feel like you’re what ‘sugar and spice and everything nice’ means, you can go from sweet and calming to making me laugh within the same breath.” He shuffled forward a bit, dropping his head on Anthony’s shoulder. 

“Well I don’t like the implication that I’m nice,” Anthony huffed jokingly. 

“I didn’t really imply it, I’m telling you that you’re nice,” Stephen replied. 

Anthony just rolled his eyes. “That’s your opinion.” 

“I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true, you know I don’t like lying,” Stephen said. 

Except for the fact that I’m so in denial about Mom not calling that I actually am lying to Anthony. He doesn’t deserve that. 

Anthony just shrugged as Stephen looked up at him again. “So when you said that I’m not good at carnival games, that was—”

“That was me trying to encourage you, and while you clearly needed it I don’t think it helped,” Stephen quipped. 

“Rude but true. At least there weren’t a lot of people—”

“Move!” A boisterous group of children who couldn’t be older than 13 ran past, shoving past them on their way to the door. 

Stephen stumbled and fell back against Anthony, which caused one of the group to say something particularly rude. 

Anthony glared at the instigator. “What?” 

“Don’t, it’s not worth it,” Stephen said. 

The same kid laughed, having the audacity to repeat himself before catching up with the rest of the bullies. 

“I don’t know where someone who looks like they’re barely eleven years old learns to talk like that, but they can fuck right off,” Anthony said. 

“You’re right. Honestly I would be more upset if worse things hadn’t happened today, but it’s all relative,” Stephen replied. “I’ll tell you about it later, we should go find Hope and Christine.” 

Anthony nodded, a scowl still on his face when they found and rejoined their friends. 

“Are you self-obsessed idiots done looking at yourselves?” Christine teased. 

“You literally heard me say I can’t stand looking at my reflection for more than five minutes. We were just talking,” Stephen said. 

“Why do people have to be so goddamn ignorant?” Anthony muttered, kicking the dirt in front of him. 

“What happened?” Hope asked. 

“Really nothing, just some middle schoolers being stupid,” Stephen replied. “It’s not a big deal. What are we thinking about doing now?” 

“I want a snack, I think,” Christine said. “Does anyone want cotton candy?” 

“We should get cotton candy!” 

Donna had boundless energy, a zest for life, and a fun-loving mischief about her.  She ran into each day like it was a new adventure, sometimes reckless but always under the protective watch of her brothers. 

“If that’s what you want, Donna, I’ll buy you some.” 

“What about me?” 

Victor didn’t come into the world with a smartass attitude, but he quickly adopted some of Stephen’s mannerisms. He learned how to assert himself and how to be fair, which meant he knew when and how to argue on his own behalf.

“Of course Vic, I’ll get you some too.”

“I want the bubblegum flavor!” 

It was the end of summer, and the Strange family was spending an afternoon at the zoo. Donna loved animals more than almost anything in the world, and all she’d wanted was to spend the day with her family sharing random animal facts and learning as much as she could. Stephen was the one to plan the excursion, the trip occurring the day after he returned from California. He was visiting Anthony for just under two (2) weeks then, that summer their last as ‘just friends.’

Donna was elated when Stephen came home, her little face lighting up when he announced the family outing. 

Outing was an interesting choice of words. 

That day trip was the last time the Strange family was whole. That day was the last day Stephen was worth something in his mom’s eyes, the last time he read his sister a bedtime story after pretending that he didn’t want to. All Stephen did was plan a surprise afternoon for Donna and buy her cotton candy, and she was the happiest he’d ever seen her. It was, in the most tragic sense, the perfect last day. She drowned in the lake the next morning, and Stephen felt like he lost control of his life. Desperate to take it back, and against his better judgement, he came out a few days later. He hoped his mom would be supportive, understanding, and maybe even encouraging, but he was as good as disowned by her that day. 

“Hey… Earth to Steph.” Anthony softly caressed his face. “Stephen?” 

He snapped out of his flashback, probably looking like a deer in the headlights when his eyes met Anthony’s. “Sorry.” 

“I thought you were gonna pass out for a minute,” Anthony said. 

“I’m good. I just zoned out,” Stephen replied. “It’s not even motion sickness, I genuinely stopped listening to whatever you guys were talking about.” 

“So you didn’t hear me ask if any of you wanted cotton candy?” Christine asked. 

“That I did hear.” Stephen heard the sudden brittleness in his voice and steeled himself, subconsciously reaching for Anthony’s hand. 

“I forgot you don’t like sweets that much, sorry man,” Christine replied. 

“That isn’t the problem,” Stephen said. “And that’s not even true.” 

Christine just shrugged. “Alright.” 

Stephen sighed, ignoring the confused look Christine gave him and running his free hand through his hair. He sighed again. “Sorry Christine.” 

“You’re forgiven, Stephen. It’s fine, and sometimes you just have a bad day,” Christine replied. “It’s not like I’ve never gone off on you before.” 

“I wouldn’t call that going off, I’ve used all of my self restraint today,” Stephen said. “But thanks.” 

He sighed for the third time and leaned against Anthony’s shoulder. 

“You okay?” Anthony asked gently. 

Stephen looked at his phone again. “Still no updates.”

Anthony frowned, concern and understanding written all over his face. “That’s shitty.” 

“You’re right about that,” Stephen replied, laughing despite himself at how direct Anthony’s delivery was. “Rollercoaster?” 

“Damnit, I thought I was enough of a thrill for you,” Anthony teased. 

Stephen rolled his eyes. “You are, you dumbass. I just thought it’d be fun.” 

“I’m not disagreeing! I’m in,” Anthony replied. 

“The line isn’t too long, y’all should go now,” Hope said. “We’re getting popcorn, and then we can ride the teacups again before leaving if you guys want?” 

“Sure,” Anthony said. 

Stephen just nodded. He’d had a good time, but honestly just wanted to go home and pretend like today didn’t happen. 

“We can hold your shit too, if you want,” Christine offered. 

“Thank you for not bringing up the Great Adventure mishap,” Anthony replied, handing Christine his bag. 

“Not sure if I’d call forgetting to take off your sunglasses a mishap,” Stephen quipped, also handing over his bag. 

Maybe I’ll get lucky and she’ll have called by the time we’re back. 

If I asked a magic 8 ball what the chances were of that happening, I think it’d tell me to go fuck myself. 

“What would you call it, then?” Anthony asked indignantly. 

“Unfortunate, and a consequence of you not listening to me when I said not to wear them,” Stephen replied. 

“You’re both wrong, that’s just Ant’s smooth brain energy hard at work,” Hope said. 

Anthony rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry that wearing sunglasses is such a big part of my personal brand! Whatever, see you two in a bit!” 

Hope and Christine probably rolled their eyes as Stephen and Anthony went on their way, but all in good fun. 

Stephen was starting to feel a little better while they queued for the rollercoaster. He’d always liked them and they never made him dizzy which really helped. Coasters were sort of like a spontaneous thought process in his mind. There were digressions, breakthroughs and thoughts that were best left alone, and something to look forward to at every corner. Stephen felt like there was less time for self loathing on a rollercoaster, less time to hone in on certain things while he was moving so fast. He definitely preferred rollercoasters to tilt-a-whirl type things, even though he didn’t hate the spinning teacup ride they ended the night with. There was just more sitting still involved somehow, which meant more opportunities for self loathing. The pattern of the ride mirrored the circular thought process he slipped into, almost like he was cycling through stages of grief. Stephen wasn’t sure if he was angrier with Beverly for how she treated him or with himself for hoping she’d call, and he hadn’t even made it out of the denial stage. To his expected disappointment, there were no calls from his mom when he checked his phone on the ride home. 

I don’t know what I expected. 

I keep telling myself that I’m dead to her and it doesn’t seem to sink in. 

I know it’s true, and all of this might hurt less if I just accept that. 

Christine and Hope were bickering about something in the front of their car, and Stephen didn’t have a clue what it was. He’d tuned them out again, despondently resting his head on Anthony’s shoulder as Christine navigated the traffic. 

“Ant?” Stephen’s voice was hushed and straining as he tried not to cry. 

Anthony hummed. “That’s me.”

Stephen smiled sadly. “She’s not going to call, Anthony.”

“The night is still—”

“No! No, I mean she’s… I’ll tell you when we get home.” Stephen was trembling now, overwhelmed with everything that he was feeling. 

“Okay,” Anthony murmured, softly kissing his head. His heart broke as Stephen  started crying into his shoulder. “I love you.” 

Stephen barely fought back a sob. Sometimes he needed reminders that people loved and cared about him, but he was always ashamed to ask. He was getting slowly better at asking for affection, but verbal reassurance was a completely separate beast. When it came to dealing with his mother, he needed to hear that he was loved and valued for who he was to try and combat the self loathing that followed their conversations. He needed help getting his confidence and self assurance back. He didn’t like to be so vulnerable, but Stephen couldn’t deny that sometimes he just wanted to feel loved and safe. Anthony, affectionate and protective and caring and sweet, always knew when Stephen needed these loving affirmations and always provided them. “I love you too.” 

“It’s okay. We’ll be home soon, mia vita,” Anthony soothed. He reached for one of Stephen’s hands, holding it in both of his own. “Ti amo con tutto ciò che sono e con tutto ciò che sarò.”

He loves me… 

++++

There was always something sweet about coming home to a loud house. The noise could be jarring, a pleasant consequence of 5 relatively loud friends living together, but it served as a welcoming of sorts. Today it was even louder when Stephen and Anthony got home, thanks mostly to an argument between Sam and Wong. Standing between them, Bruce was acting like a moderator of sorts. 

“The lovebirds are back!” Wong announced, interrupting what looked like a heated rebuttal from Sam. “How was the carnival?”

“It was good! I tried to win one of those balloon dart games,” Anthony replied. 

“Keyword is ‘tried,’ guys,” Stephen added. 

“I was too busy thinking about what prize to win since I wanted to give Steph something cute, but it didn’t really go to plan,” Anthony said. 

“Next time babe, I believe in you!” Stephen cheered as brightly as he could. He was tired of faking a smile, tired of hoping his mom would come around. 

She’s never going to change her mind. 

“Maybe we should’ve gone tonight, I feel like it’s going to be more crowded tomorrow,” Sam said. 

“I think it depends on when you go,” Anthony replied. “Speaking of going places, you know your man dragged me to Panera with him earlier.”

“I told you! Nothing comes between Bucky and a bread bowl,” Sam said, rolling his eyes. “What time do you think is the best to go tomorrow night?” 

Stephen shrugged. “Probably 8? I don’t know. Most of the lines move relatively fast so you should be fine.” 

“Don’t worry Sam, if the grumpiest boy on the Eastern seaboard says you’ll be fine, you’ll definitely be good,” Wong teased.

“That’s rich coming from you.” Stephen turned on his heel and left, retreating to the comfort of his bedroom. 

“Did I upset him?” Wong asked, mostly addressing Anthony. “I didn’t mean to.” 

“Something is bothering him,” Anthony replied. It wasn’t his business to go into detail, nor was he the gatekeeper of what problems Stephen chose to share with their friends. “He should be okay, but I’m gonna go keep him company.” 

Anthony headed for his bedroom, bringing the conversation to a halt. Stephen had closed the door, which wasn’t unusual but Anthony still didn’t want to just open it in case Stephen wanted to be completely alone. 

He knocked quietly yet audibly to avoid startling Stephen. “Hey, it’s just me. Can I come in?” 

“Yeah, ‘course,” Stephen mumbled. He was curled up on their bed, trembling as he looked up at the ceiling. 

It was warm in their room as per usual, so Anthony knew Stephen wasn’t shivering from cold. 

Stephen felt the bed dip as his boyfriend sat beside him, and he closed his eyes as Anthony began to gently massage his scalp. 

“Wong and Christine are probably angry with me,” Stephen said after a while. 

“Wong didn’t mean to upset you,” Anthony replied. “Neither did Christine. And I think they understand that you’re not purposefully antagonizing them.” 

Stephen sat up, the intense mix of emotion in eyes burning a hole in the ceiling as he leaned against the headboard and a pile of throw pillows. 

Anthony shifted just enough to rest his head on Stephen’s shoulder, silently reminding him that he wasn’t alone. He offered one of his hands, Stephen holding it gently. He drew figure eights on Anthony’s upturned palm as he thought, the motion soothing as he started talking. 

“Before I came home today, when I went to Starbucks, I got a call from my dad,” Stephen began. “Mom changed the plan for today, he said. I don’t know what she did specifically but all that matters is that she rearranged the family call so I couldn’t join. That was her way of telling me she’s mad at me without having to burden herself by speaking with me.” 

Anthony shifted to straddle him, comfortingly resting his hands on Stephen’s arms. Stephen didn’t meet his concerned gaze.“I’m sorry.” 

“It gets worse. When I said earlier that I’ve dealt with worse things today than some homophobic children, all of this is what I mean.” Stephen was still staring upwards, as if their ceiling had an answer he didn’t. “I got to talk to Vic, which was most important to me. We didn’t talk for very long since I was planning on going to my next class at that point, but I got to wish him a happy birthday and apologize for not being able to join the call. He wasn’t upset with me, he understood and we left things on the same good terms. I didn’t tell him why I couldn’t join, but I’m sure he knows. I’m sure he’s figured out why Mom and I don’t talk, he knows enough of the story to figure it out.” 

He was crying now, all of his emotions boiling over. He was livid, devastated, and afraid for some reason, hiding his face in his hands. 

Anthony was silent, taking both of Stephen’s hands and letting him cry until he’d somewhat calmed down. 

“Sorry,” Stephen mumbled. He rested their joined hands in his lap and turned his teary gaze on Anthony. “I've not even finished the story and I’m already a mess.”

“It’s okay Steph, you don’t have to be.” Anthony brushed a few stray tears off Stephen’s face. 

Stephen sighed. “I knew by the time I got home that she wasn’t going to call me. That’s why I came back, honestly. I didn’t want to sit through my classes thinking about it, thinking about how I’m… thinking about how she wouldn’t call. I tried to make myself tell you earlier, but I can barely come to terms with all of this in my own head. I wasn’t trying to lie to you when you said she might call, I promise. I was just holding onto the smallest wisp of hope that maybe she’d change her mind.” 

“I don’t feel like you lied to me,” Anthony replied, one of his hands again finding its way to playing with Stephen’s hair. “I’m sorry I was so insistent in saying she’d call. I was trying to reassure you.”

“I know,” Stephen said. “It helped a little, especially since I was trying to convince myself that she’d end up calling. But she never did, Anthony, and she won’t. Dad said she told him directly that she wasn’t going to talk to me, so why am I such a fool and still hoping she’ll come around? I’m dead to her and I should be able to understand that!” 

“I imagine you’re trying to make yourself accept it so you can move on, right?” Anthony asked. 

Stephen nodded frantically, his eyes shut tight as he began to cry again. “I know that’s not the best way to deal with things, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t expect her to accept me anytime soon, and I know my family isn’t going to ever feel whole again. But I ruined Victor’s birthday by not showing up for him with the rest of the family! I would’ve joined the call if she wasn’t mad at me, and I didn’t even fucking do anything!” 

Stephen was crying more out of anger than sadness, resting his head on Anthony’s shoulder and subconsciously pinching his forearm. 

Anthony hugged him, both to reassure Stephen and to keep him from hurting himself in anger. “You haven’t failed him. You did what you could and made the best out of an awful, fucked up situation.” 

Stephen just nodded, hearing Anthony’s message but not fully listening “Speaking of fucked up, and this is actually probably the thing I’m most upset about, you know my cousin Maxwell?”

"Yeah.”

 “He took a page out of my mom’s book and outed me to my aunt.” 

“Jesus Christ.” Now Anthony looked as angry as Stephen felt, a storm brewing in his eyes. 

“I’m lucky because my aunt Claudia is great, and she’s really accepting but that obviously pissed my mom off so now she’s mad at her sister and at me,” Stephen said.

“That’s good about your aunt, but why the fuck would your cousin do that?” Anthony asked. 

“He might have thought she already knew, I don’t know. It’s not okay that he did it, but it’s a relief to know that at least she took it well. I was worried she’d make fun of me since she always likes to prank and make me the butt of the joke, and even that would be fine compared to my mom’s response,” Stephen replied. “If I got over this faster I wouldn’t have taken all the fun out of tonight.” 

“Hey, stop that,” Anthony murmured. “You didn’t! I like being around you no matter what mood you’re in, and I’m always here for you. That includes when things aren’t going well, by the way. My love for you isn’t conditional.” 

Stephen looked up enough just to see Anthony’s face. “Do you think she’s ever going to come around? And not just today, but in general?” 

“I hope so,” Anthony replied. “You don’t deserve to deal with this from her, or from anyone but least of all your own mother, and I hope she understands that sooner rather than later. But I can’t say with certainty what she’s going to do.” 

“I just want today to be over,” Stephen said with a sigh. “I mean I did have fun tonight, but spending the entire day attached to my phone and trying to ignore what I already know wasn’t really nice.” 

Anthony nodded. “Why don’t we get ready for bed then? We can put it all behind us and start over tomorrow.” 

“That sounds good,” Stephen whispered. “I know I won’t ever forget this, but just for now I want to set it aside.” 

++++

The day should’ve ended there, with slight banter and falling into bed with the person Stephen loved most in the world. But of course it didn’t, of course the powers that controlled his life had to have the last laugh. He’d just closed his eyes and was starting to slip away, content as Anthony pulled up one of their nighttime playlists and hummed along to whatever song was playing. Stephen was the little spoon tonight, feeling loved and secure and safe in the dark of their bedroom and Anthony’s arms. He was finally starting to relax, and then the phone rang.  

He didn’t expect it and was annoyed when he heard the first notes of his ringtone, but he answered anyway thinking it was one of their friends. Thor especially had a tendency to call people earlier in the morning or later at night. “Hello?”

Despite having called him, the person on the other end of the line responded with a hasty “I must’ve misdialed. Don’t call back.”  

Oh my god. 

The cold, familiar voice ringing out over the speakerphone made Stephen’s heart stop. 

SHE CALLED! 

“No Mom, wait! I didn’t think you were going to call.” 

“I don’t consider you my son, I don’t know why you keep calling me your mother,” Beverly replied. “I told you, I misdialed. I wouldn’t go out of my way to speak with you, not after you continuously cast shame onto my family.” 

“Not even today? On Victor’s birthday?” Stephen asked. 

Beverly scoffed. “No, and don’t even say his name! You and Victor aren’t brothers anymore, you decided that for yourself, and I’ll not have any outside influences corrupting my only son!” She hung up before Stephen could defend himself, the dial tone uncomfortably loud. 

Stephen wasn’t sure what to do. A sharp, stabbing numbness seized his body and he curled in on himself to escape the onslaught of emotion hanging over his head. He turned onto his other side, burying his head in Anthony’s chest and failing to keep himself from crying. 

“None of what she told you is true,” Anthony said. “Not a damn thing. You—”

Stephen shook his head. “Anthony, don't talk. Please, I’m sorry, I love you and I love your voice but I can’t… it’s too much…” 

Anthony shushed him softly, carding his hand through Stephen’s hair again. He wanted to say something, to tell Stephen that he didn’t have to apologize, but that wouldn’t do any good. Instead, he just hugged Stephen tighter and gave him a soft kiss. Sometimes love was best conveyed in actions. 

This is just like when I left after the funeral, when we hid from the outside world together. No one makes me feel at home the way Anthony does. 

Stephen was too used to crying in Anthony’s arms because of things his mother… because of things Beverly told him. He knew he could run and hide from this or any problem with Anthony, and he’d always be safe and accepted and home. The thought was comforting, especially to the part of Stephen’s mind that was loath and afraid to confront the truth. 

Eventually I’m going to have to process this fully and give myself the time to do it. I know myself, and I’m not going to change for anyone. Why should I have to? 

Stephen shifted closer to Anthony, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. He rested his head on Anthony’s shoulder, the tiniest smile on his face. 

How does he already have bedhead? Adorable. 

Despite saying that he wasn’t tired, Anthony was already falling asleep. “Need anything?” 

Stephen shook his head and softly kissed Anthony’s cheek. “I’ll be fine. I’m just as tired as you, if not more.” 

“Doubtful.”

“I’m going to ignore the fact that you just scoffed at me.” 

“I didn’t!” 

Stephen rolled his eyes and leaned up to kiss Anthony’s cheek. “I love you. Thank you.” 

“I didn’t do anything, really, and I love you too,” Anthony replied with a yawn. 

“You’ve done more for me than you realize, and I think you know it,” Stephen murmured. 

Already falling asleep, Anthony didn’t respond verbally. He just hugged Stephen closer, again saying much more than words ever could. 

tags: @stark-strange-love2 @taruyison @kitkatfat15 @katninjagirl97 @spookywizardboy @ocforeverything @ironstrange-chaos @chocopiggy @lokis-leah @majesticnerdynerd @maya-custodios-dionach @thespacecryptid @kiwidino @doctorstephenvincentstarkstrange 

[blessyourhondahurley]

Blow me down!

[Read on AO3]

This is a continuation of a short work I wrote in 2016, Avast Ye. You don't have to read the first part to understand this part, but it'll be better if you do. It's only 638 words, c'mon.

This (apparently three-part) story concludes with Hearties.

Prompt 1: Ferris Wheel Prompt 2: On the Road Again

Willie Nelson is on the radio, and Dean is harmonizing with him. Dean's warm, velvet voice slings perfectly underneath Willie's laid-back twang, and it's clear he knows every word of this song by heart.

"On the road again," the two of them sing, shifting smoothly into a new key. "Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway." Dean reaches across the Impala's bench seat to take Cas's hand and brings it to his lips to croon the next line against his knuckles. "We're the best of friends." He pecks a kiss there. "Insisting that the world keep turning our way, and our way is --"

Reluctantly, Cas reaches out with his other hand and snaps the radio off. Before Dean can muster up a protest, Cas cuts him off with a gentle remonstration. "I apologize, love, but when we left the motel you said we were going to get dinner, and I'm starting to wonder if that was an outright lie."

Dean throws his head back and laughs, giving a fond little squeeze to the hand he's still holding. "Patience, honeybee. I promised you food and I meant it. It'll be worth the wait, I swear." He drops Cas's hand and sits up straighter in the seat, hitting his signal to change lanes as he returns both hands to the wheel and starts to ease off the gas. "And actually," he continues, "the wait's almost over. Look up ahead."

They crest a hill, and the valley ahead of them is aglow in the dusk with what seems like a galaxy's worth of tiny lights. A Ferris wheel holds pride of place, spokes of bright color shooting towards its rim as it spins its lazy circle. Closer, Cas sees a broad parking lot, half full, then a series of neatly-arrayed lines of stalls for food and games. Beyond the wheel, there are other carnival rides: a tilt-a-whirl, a roller coaster, teacups, a merry-go-round, a... Pirate boat.

"Dean...?"

"Yeah, babe?" He's grinning, like he knows something Cas doesn't. But Cas is catching on fast.

"Have we... Have we been here before?"

The fair has grown quite a bit in the four years since they were last here, but echoes of that little carnival they'd visited on the spur of the moment remain, echoes strong enough to fire some very precious memories in Cas's mind.

"Beloved, is this...?"

"Where we had our first kiss? Yeah, baby, it is. Surprise?"

[reversecreek]

struts onto the dash carrying this deliriously wriggling little elf in my arms like a swaddled bebe......... they’re genuinely my oldest muse of all time i think i created them when i was like. 13 possibly. n i haven’t written them in Years but. i’m literally so excited to jst vibrating w muse. smiles at u all demurely..... they have risen. u can find their pinterest here n their playlist here.

* alana champion, nonbinary + they/them | you know nyla palmer, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, eight months? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 6669 (i don’t know if you know) by neon indian like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole a two headed doll of a prairie girl with stitched on rabbit ears and butterfly wings, befriending shadow puppets & finding god with your eyes open underwater in a public pool you broke into thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is march 2nd, so they’re a pisces, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her  )

HISTORY:

was born in georgiaaaa georgiaaaa (phoebe bridgers voice holds my bang...) to a vry honest hard working man named george (omgggg he’s called GEORGE and he’s from GEORGIA? ahaaaaa fuckk ur jestinggg) nd a woman who did her best named pamela..... george worked on a construction site n pamela was a pharmacist..... their house was this small rickety white thing with a wrap around porch n a very rabid overgrown garden tht kind of looked like the earth ws trying to reclaim it bc nobody ever hd the time or motivation to mow the lawn.... there ws literally a piece of fold out furniture just entirely submerged by weeds n foliage

nyla ws always closest w their dad george..... he hd this way of looking at the world tht was seeing the best in all of it.... he took them on long walks where he talked abt how u have to respect the trees bc they’re breathing fr us n we’re breathing fr them..... he hd a strange whimsical sense of humour n a gnome alter ego called grundlebolt who always tickled them..... in a way this closeness created a distance between nyla n their mother but not so much that it ws rly a problem. just enough tht nyla sometimes waited until their mother ws out of eye n ear shot to tell their dad they loved him bc they didn’t wna make her sad >_>

(mental health, death & grief tw) pamela always struggled w her mental health but george ws great n understanding n knew how to help her thru this... nyla didn’t get it too greatly at a very young age bt they knew their mum got “the sads” sometimes (how their dad wld explain tht she needed to lay down in the quiet for a while or why she’d stood at the stove n let the dinner burn until the smoke detector went off without doing anything abt it). when nyla was 14 they got home one day to a police car in the driveway n came prancing in exuberantly as they always did. immediately hugged the legs of an officer bc this is hw they wld greet everyone they ever met. they only realised something was wrong when they let go n saw their mum sat at the table crying. essentially there ws an accident at the construction site george worked at n :/ yeah. 

(jst mental health & grief tw now) this rly had an intense ripple effect on everyone tbh. pamela’s mental health deteriorated quite a lot without george there as her rock n nyla sort of had to step in as best they cld but it was....... hard. some days she ws better bt some days nyla had to sit her in the bath n stroke a wet sponge over her back bc they didn’t know how else to calm her down. nyla always had a very overactive imagination which george encouraged bt it ws like. losing him rly opened a window in nyla’s head n all rationality went floating out of it. their dreams seemed more real than being awake. fantasy wasn’t jst the way they coped bt it was the way they thought n the way they saw. everything on earth was alive. the trees n the clouds n the wall with a brick missing at the bottom of her road n especially their dad. their dad was alive in everything in nyla’s head. the sun shining extra bright in the morning was george. ponds were a veil they could dunk her head under and find george waiting on the other side. reality rly just pulled the plug n said bye tbh n they were ok w that <3

(abuse implied tw) their mum remarried too fast to a man named stephen n it was jst not a good arrangement. he was Not a nice man. i won’t go into this but home wasn’t a nice place for nyla any more n after a couple of yrs stephen wound up asking them to leave n their mum said nothing to contradict tht. there’s more to this bt long story short nyla left <3

(drugs tw) they couch surfed fr a while before settling living w their best friend. they got up to like... all sorts of trouble n grew up far too fast. nyla’s lack of sense n realism hd a habit of getting them into some sticky situations n these few yrs were a rollercoaster where they got by on the skin of their teeth. when they think of high skl they think of gravel and skinned knees and sucking sherbet dunkers to ignore the taste of pennies in ur mouth and getting lost in the woods a lot bc they’d take FAR too many drugs n be lead astray having conversations with kind trees whose branches held their hands

(drug mention) got by on odd jobs like making candles n selling them at market stalls. leaf blowing at cemeteries. face painting fr children’s parties (where they were blatantly high). random stuff. all over the place. in this time them n their best friend also hd a sugar daddy named tony who always wore very impressive colour block suits n mink stoles n jewelled fedoras n hd a swanky apartment w marble floors. rly just. surreal. lots of strange stories frm this time.

things kind of blew up in their friendship group n they fell out w their best friend raya bc she slept w this guy aj who nyla hd been madly in love w for yrs.... he was a Stinker n honestly so ws their best friend so good riddance i say bt obviously it felt like having their entire world flipped upside dwn fr nyla.... they split after this came out bc they just did Not want to b around these ppl any more n they decided to leave w this guy frm a band they barely knew tht much save fr a one night stand to tour w them..... this ws another whirlwind. jst chock full of them. it ws similar to being on a teacup ride at a carnival n spinning round n round n only knowing u were surrounded by lots of lights. tht’s how they’d best describe their time on tour.

SO in terms of them coming to irving 8 months ago they came w the band.... they honestly did pretty well on tour n wound up renting a big beach house on dorado as a kind of “retreat” sort of place fr them to shack up in while they worked on writing and recording their first big studio album (they gt signed w a label so it’s all vry exciting stuff). nyla among like 3 others were allowed to stay w them too bc they hd a lot of fun on tour. literally jst. taken on as professional groupies essentially. nyla loved it bc they’d never seen the ocean n when they first got there they jst threw off all their clothes n ran straight into the water. it was 3pm on a tuesday afternoon. they got arrested fr public indecency n didn’t get why bc they were like but i just wanted to hug the ocean u silly little oinker? i picture the beach house as like. the loudest one on dorado.... comes alive like a jungle at night..... they r probably bad neighbours. anyway. onto personality puts hand on hip.

PERSONALITY:

sets out patio furniture on someone else’s lawn n jst takes a seat n leans back like ahhhhh vat a nice day to be alive ya! (swedish accent suddenly bc they think it’s fun). they come out n start yelling n they’re jst so confused they’re like hey wat’s the big idea hey wat’s go on here why u angies why this happen?

likes drawing imaginary veins over their arms in all different colour blue pens in a sudden fit of hyperfixation n then forgets all abt it n goes out like tht n scares several townsfolk bt they’re oblivious they’re jst in her own world loving life already onto the next fixation. has many many different fads like this. one day will jst start snipping up a bunch of magazines bc they’re like EYES ARE COOL N THEY SEE EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P n they’ll stick a bunch of them over their wall n then forget they was doing that n leap onto the next. quite a pattern. bt they love the vein thing a lot it makes them feel like a walking planetarium like they have their own constellations

sometimes jst doesn’t make sense. they’re honestly kind of strange. pops up in places like they suddenly materialised there n it’s like how did u get there where have u been when were u last seen are u ok. has the energy of an ancient deity frm deep in a mountain cave n an ambiguous forest sprite all at once..... talks shit honestly. abt anything n everything. sometimes outrageous. sometimes plain incoherent. like what are u talking about? i dnt kno. even i dnt kno sometimes.

luvs stick n pokes will let anyone tattoo whatever they want on them for the price of a gummy bear kindly placed onto their tongue n swallowed whole

has this obsession w being underwater w their eyes open luvs it. calls it their tadpole time. runs baths just to lie there blinking looking around n drifting her arms. best friends w the bottom of any local swimming pool n hs probably given it a quick kiss so it knows they’re bff’s n then got sick bc there’s sm germs in a public pool. says the kgb probably poisoned their oatmeal n r finally here to deliver on their promise n THAT’S why they got sick unrelated to the pool incident. what promise? noone knows.

unclear if they believe what they say or if they jst has a very expanded sense of humour where they nvr let on if they’re joking.... lines r blurred a lot..... 

loves excitedly shouting things. sometimes just screams at the sky bc they say it’s good to let the creatures in ur belly fly out every once in a while otherwise their wings get sore.

(drugs tw) still does an excessive amt of hallucinogens n it kind of shows. very bad fr their brain bt we’re going to ignore it.

dresses fun n strange n eccentric n careless. loves to experiment. does nt care abt what’s considered to be societally appropriate. living in their own world.

sleeps around a lot... jst doesn’t rly see sex as a big deal.... very free w themselves in that way..... sometimes greets their friends w a kiss on the lips they’re like awww :) kisses <3 when they run into them in the middle of the cereal aisle n then pulls away n suddenly breaks into a box tht has a free toy in it bc it’s a banana with googly eyes n that’s the best thing they’ve ever heard in their LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! n isn’t he so HANDSOME????? enchante indeed my good sir ;)... gives the toy a kiss too.

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

other groupies of the band: self explanatory a little.... i dnt have a name for the band yet bt all can b worked out..... i picture them as kind of. not that nice but like. there for a good time........ rock genre.... bit chaotic...... to say the least........ they dnt have to have come there w the band like nyla n the others they cld have been adopted in their time there.... whoever wld b wild n down fr a good time <3

chaotic trash goblin friends: idk what this title rly means it just came to me in a vision....... jst ppl tht r rly kind of off the rails n don’t care abt anything...... they r who nyla tends to mesh very well w......... they rly r living in their own world n by their own rules n they like ppl who do this too <3 inevitably they get up to no good n party far too much...... cld be angst to this if they enable each other’s bad habits...... world’s our oyster. opens my office door. let’s talk abt it.

nyla set up camp on their front lawn: maybe jst w a fold out chair. maybe w a literal pop up tent w someone else too. genuinely so bizarre of them bt that’s what we’re dealing with. they poke their head into the tent n nyla’s lying down crunching on a cracker crumbs over their tits n they just hold it out to them nt even fully consumed n are like hey polly want a cracker? :)

they responded to her craigslist ad: they posted one saying they cld cleanse their house of demonic energy bc they’re an all seeing eye in touch w the spirits. this is a lie. they came n waved sage around n did a little dance as they did it w bird sounds playing on a special cd they brought fr the occasion (had weird indistinct doodles over the case it ws brought in) n then ws like OOH! scary.... n jumped at something in the hall. they go in thinking maybe they’ve seen a ghost bt they just were startled by their own reflection in a mirror n is like. scary mirror placement...... might wna reconsider that........ they charge them merely 10 dollars fr their time n is like this was so fun we shd do it again some time :) also i think u have mould on ur bathroom tile! vanishes. they dnt recall them ever going to the bathroom.

came knocking asking for items for a garage sale: yes. u heard that right. they’re asking for ur muses things to set up their own garage sale. selling items that do not belong to them. they think this is a genius business strategy n don’t understand why ppl think this is so strange or why they cant just ask ppl to donate them things to sell bc hey they’re an entrepreneur? they even had a pencil behind their ear when they knocked on the door so why aren’t ppl taking their business seriously? probably got distracted several times trying to explain their pitch n chattered abt random other things instead.

honestly anything... fwbs... flings... good influence... someone who cnt stand the fact they’re barely coherent.... someone they stopped on the street one day n asked for their opinion on water beds.... we cn do literally anything. fling ur chara my way n we can talk.

[clownsgobeepbeep]

Commence your groveling

This shall be a bit of a part one hehe ^^ The next part I shall post right after

Lights adorned every nook and cranny of the grounds.

Red and white schemes were all around.

Laughter, grins and smiles, and the sound of a calliope playing sweet melodies sounded all around.

All this was enough to bring enthusiasm to the small family that strolled down the makeshift dirt path between the numerous stalls lined up. At least, most of the members were trying to make the best of their day at the carnival.

“I wanna go on that one!”

“That one?”

“That one! The fast one!”

“Then we will most definitely go on it!”

As the twinkling of lights gleamed in the green eyes of a bright young child, she excitedly pointed to a large, wooden roller coaster from which screams of delight were heard. She sat upon the shoulders of her sister’s beau, one of them at least. He grinned up at her as she basically tried jumping out of his grasp, making sure to hold tightly onto her.

“You’re going too!?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Yes! Mom! Mom! Tickets, pleeeease!”

“Settle down, Cordelia. You’re gonna break Schrader’s neck.”

Cordelia tried to calm herself down, still vibrating slightly as she watched her mother reach into her purse to reveal a roll of tickets she had purchased for everybody.

“Is anyone else going?” Jelly eyed the whole group that included her husband, Davey, Atlas, and her daughter’s saddened companion. The two former gave their own responses of ‘no’. “Atlas?”

“Yeah, I guess I could.” the young man gave a shrug, glancing over at Schrader who motioned for him to join him and Cordelia. “What about you?”

“I’ll sit this one out for now. You guys enjoy yourselves and take care of Cordie.” Jelly joked with the two who promised to take care of Cordelia as she rambled on about wanting to sit at the very front.

Jelly then glanced down at the rest of her family, tilting her head at Davey and Mana.

“Do you guys want to go on a different ride in the meantime?”

“No thanks.” Davey muttered out as he accepted the hand Jelly offered him.

“We could go on the swingy-ship ride, or the teacups. Maybe even the carousel.”

“I just want to take a small break for now.” Davey gave a bit of a shrug, leaning over to pet the top of Mana’s head. “I think Mana also wants a break.”

“I’m sure he does.” Jelly also reached over, caressing the axolotl’s face as he softly leaned into her touch. “How about we go and have a snack? You guys can have whatever you want.”

“There’s a funnel cake stand right over there.” Lennie mentioned as he motioned to one of the stalls not too far from their current location. “I think they specifically top it with ice cream.”

“Hey, that sounds like a good idea, right?” Jelly smiled at the pair, trying not to let her smile falter from Mana’s whimpering. “And Mana, you could have some ice cream today.~”

“Jelly, if you want, I can try to find a table and take the boys over. You can buy the cakes if you want, or we can switch it around.” Lennie suggested, having his wife shake her head.

“That sounds perfectly fine, I’ll go get the cakes. Any flavors or toppings in particular?”

“Can you ask for frosted flakes?” Davey spoke up.

“Do you want some hot fudge with that?”

“Yes please.” Davey gave a bit of a murmur as his mother smiled.

“Peanut butter and jelly for me.” Lennie gave Jelly a bit of a wink.

“I’ll be back in a few then.” Jelly gave a bit of a jellyfish wave to her family before making her way towards the funnel cake stand. Lennie was now left alone with Davey and Mana, the latter receiving some more pets on the head from Lennie who led the two to the picnic area.

“This spot seems nice. I’m sure your mom’s buying cakes for the guys and Cordelia, so we’ll have enough space for everyone.” Lennie told Davey who seated himself across from him, Mana hopping onto the bench with Lennie before placing his head on his lap. “Cordelia might want a corn dog later though. That was one of the things she said she really wanted.”

Lennie looked over at Davey who had set his arms on the table’s surface, eyes glancing around the carnival’s sights and wonders. Every single light was reflected in the green of his tired eyes that clearly read longing.

“Hey, Davey,” his father reached over to him with his free hand. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Come on Davey, you can’t lie to your old man.”

“I’m not lying.” Davey insisted as he turned away from Lennie, still giving him a side eye and realizing that Lennie gave him a bit of a look. “I just...I miss my sister. And coming to the carnival without her just doesn’t feel very right.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Davey nodded as his eyes roamed over what he could see of Mana’s body. “I’ll go on the carousel though. Maybe the teacups too.”

“Yeah, we can wait for Cordelia and the guys to come back and go on the carousel with all of them. Unless you want to go right now, while your mom buys the funnel cakes.”

“No, I can wait. I am a little hungry.” Davey admitted as he now skimmed through the carnival again.

“I miss her too,” Lennie started as he caught Davey’s attention. “But it’s not like she moved away or anything. She’s coming back.”

“But why’d she have to leave? And for so long?”

“It’s not so long Davey. She just needed a break after...everything.” Lennie forced a bit of a chuckle and shrug. “She’s been through a lot since a young age and she never has actually gone out on her own. We just needed to let her go for a little bit because she’s always here for us. Always taking care of us.”

“I guess.” Davey’s eyes once again went to the carnival’s stalls. “I’m just not used to her being gone.”

“Me neither. And I know Mana doesn’t like it either.” Lennie petted the axolotl’s head. “Ula will come back. We just have to be patient.”

“But when?”

“Soon.” Lennie smiled at Davey. “Trust me, it’ll be soon.”

“What have you boys been talking about?” Jelly’s voice now sounded behind Davey, making him turn around as Lennie looked behind him.

“Nothing really.” Davey watched as his mother set down various boxes on the picnic table, setting one down in front of Davey and another in front of Lennie. “Why so many?”

“One for each. Well, except Atlas and me. I imagine Atlas will want something saltier. I can always get him another if he decides he does want one.”

“Then what’s that one?” Davey pointed at another box that did not contain a funnel cake, but instead a waffle with colorful sprinkles and ice cream. Of course, a cherry was right on top.

“Just a waffle for me.Thought I’d get one instead of funnel cake.” Jelly replied as she took a seat beside Mana, patting her own lap. “Come here Mana.”

Mana, as best as he could, forced himself to turn around so that his head was instead on Jelly’s lap and his dragging tail on Lennie’s.

“Good boy.” Jelly petted his head, leaning down to plant a kiss on it before stealing a piece from Lennie’s funnel cake.

“Heeey.” he joked.

“It’s for Mana.” Jelly spoke in a matter-of-factly tone, lowering her fork that she offered to Mana. “Because Mana can have some funnel cake for today. I should have gotten a whole funnel cake for you.”

Mana stared at the piece of funnel cake on the fork, opening his mouth a bit before slowly licking it into his mouth. Soon after, he merely sunk deeper into Jelly’s lap.

“Oh Mana.” Jelly whispered as she continued to pet his head. “It pains me seeing you this way.”

“She’ll be back soon Mana.” Lennie reassured him as he also pet Mana again, watching as Jelly pulled her phone out from her purse.

“Where’s Mana? I need to see pictures of my handsome boy!”

Mana’s eyes slightly darted up as he heard this voice, tail barely moving as he recognized this voice.

“I miss him so much, I want so many pictures of him and Kala and aaall the puppies!”

Mana looked at Jelly’s phone that was held in front of him, moving pictures of his little one as she recorded herself a message to her family while she was away.

“I need Mana to know how much of a good boy he is, that I love him so much.” Ula’s voice was heard from the phone as she smiled at the camera. “I can’t wait to hug you so tightly when I come back home. I miss you Mana.”

The axolotl’s tail wagged a bit more, slightly swatting Lennie who gave a bit of a laugh as he continued to eat his funnel cake. Sometimes even going as far as taking bits and pieces from Davey’s funnel cake.

“I’m taking you to the beach and we’re gonna eat so much ice cream our tummies are gonna hurt. Just don’t tell mom, okay? We can go swimming and eat some sushi, or just sit on the sand and enjoy the waves.” Ula talked to the camera as she offered a soft smile. “I’ll be home before you know it Mana. I’ll see you soon. Love you. Axolotl kisses!”

The video soon ended as Mana stared at the unmoving picture of Ula, burying himself even more in Jelly’s lap as he gave a bit of a sigh.

“Does Mana want some ice cream?” Jelly said in a baby voice before scooping up a bit of Lennie’s ice cream, offering it once again to Mana who softly nibbled on the ice cream.

Davey watched as Mana lay on Jelly’s lap; just thinking of how the axolotl was feeling made him miss his sister even more. He was trying his best to be mature about it, but he really was used to seeing Ula mostly all the time. This trip was definitely different from her sleepovers with her friends and concert getaways.

As Davey thought to himself, he let his eyes wander another time. This time, he caught sight of a booth that was stationed near the practically glowing carousel. A shooting game with duckling targets. Of course, the prizes were the typical plush toys but...something in particular stood out to Davey.

“Hey mom, can I go over there?” Davey spun in place to get a somewhat better look at the prizes.

“Over where?”

“There.” he pointed to the booth. “The shooting game.”

“Sure, do you want us to come with you?”

“I can go alone if you don’t mind.”

“Sure.” Jelly nodded before reaching into her purse again, pulling out a good amount of tickets that she handed over to Davey. “Be careful.”

“I will.” Davey promised as he hopped down from the bench, starting to make his way to the shooting game.

“Take Mana with you.”

“Alright.” Davey returned before taking Mana’s leash and patting his leg so that Mana would follow. “Come on boy.”

Mana brought himself off the bench, mopping right behind Davey who soon led him to the booth.

“I saw a plushie I think Ula might like. Two of them in fact. I could surprise her with these when she’s back.” Davey explained to Mana. “Hopefully I can get at least one of them.”

Davey finally arrived at the booth, taking a seat at one of the individual stools provided. Mana sat on the floor beside him, watching as Davey waited for the employee to come around.

“How can I help ya little boy?”The man welcomed him with a grin.

“I want to play.” Davey stated, as if his intentions weren’t already obvious. “How many tickets do I have to pay?”

“Five.”

“Five? Why so many?”

“These prizes are a bit hard to come by.” the employee gave a shrug. “Some of them might cost ya a bit if you were to actually find them.”

“Yeah? Like which ones?” Davey gave a bit of a frown.”

“Say, this big one for example.” the employee presented a rather large and round plush of a carousel horse that made Davey’s determination spike up. “A limited edition squishable. You won’t be seeing this one anywhere. At least, not for cheap.”

“Huh.”

“And by the look on your face, I can tell this is the one you really want, huh?”

“Maybe.”

“Well, if you do want it, it’s gonna take you shooting the smallest ducky of them all.” the employee walked over to the ducks that moved along the fake waves that went up and down, and he pointed to a small, golden duck that practically zoomed by. “Shoot that little guy, and you can have your horsey.”

“Here are your tickets then.” Davey ripped five tickets from his roll, handing them over to the employee who handed Davey his darts.

“Five darts. Thirty seconds. If you manage to hit any of the other ducks, your points will add up for a different prize.”

Davey loaded in his first dart, aiming it at the ducks. One by one, he shot up to four of the ducks. Very precise shots.

“What are ya gonna do with that last one?”

“I’m getting the horse.” Davey posited as he aimed the gun once again, waiting for the tiniest of ducks to appear.

“Sure thing, buddy.” the employee snickered, waiting for Davey to miss his shot as most did. “You focus too much on it, you ain’t getting it.”

“I’m getting it. I have to.” Davey repeated, hearing the ticking of the timer grow louder as time began running out. So, he gripped the gun’s handle before finally shooting the last dart.

“Oooooh, bummer!”

“Darn it.” Davey cursed under his breath as he set the gun down.

“You got five normal lil ducks. Five points in total. Not enough for the little carousel horsey.” he was told with a bit of a snicker. “But, five points is five points. What prize you want?”

“I guess I’ll have that pink one for now.” Davey muttered as he pointed to another squishy plush, this one being an axolotl.

“Are you giving it another go?” he was asked as he was handed the plush axolotl.

“I think so.” Davey sighed as he rolled out more of his tickets after taking the toy. Before he was actually able to hand the tickets over, however, he noticed that Mana had shifted a bit. “What is it, Mana?”

The axolotl looked to the side, almost as if he heard someone coming directly his way. In the distance where there were more booths and even rides, two people were illuminated clearly by the strands of lights that hung all around. One of the much shorter than the other, smiling as she saw Mana and Davey.

“Mana!”

Mana and Davey just couldn’t believe it.

“Mana! Come here!”

Out of Davey’s hand went Mana’s leash as he zoomed down the open pathway, almost as if the crowds had parted just for him. He barked as loudly as possible as if to tell her he was coming to her.

“Mana!”

By god he couldn’t believe it. His little one! His little one was right there! Running right at him!

“Mana! Come here Mana!” she repeated as Mana dashed towards her, finally coming into contact with his little one who held him tightly. “Oh my gosh, I missed you so much!”

"Commence you groveling, Mana." the other person laughed as the axolotl pounced and attacked with affection.

The axolotl couldn’t hold in the tears that instantly poured out from his eyes as he whined, whimpered, screamed. He let out every possible sound he could as he wriggled in Ula’s embrace, wanting to lick her as much as he could while also nuzzling into her. It was so much going on at the same time it could have made Mana’s heart burst.

“Ula, don’t kill him!” joked the voice that belonged to Ula’s father, he being the one who brought her to meet up with all the others.

“He’s just so excited to see me.” Ula laughed, not being able to contain her own stray tears that were basically wiped away with Mana’s many licks. “I feel terrible- aah!”

Ula fell on her bottom as Mana’s affections grew; he had accidentally pushed her down as his tail wagged rapidly and he whined a lot more. His volume increasingly grew as he rubbed himself against her, the two no doubt getting many looks from other carnival guests. But Ula didn’t exactly care.

“I missed you too buddy, I really did.” Ula caressed Mana as much as she could, petting him all around and even peppering his face with as many kisses as she could give. And through the storm of whines and licks from Mana, Ula looked up ahead at the other figure she had seen earlier.

“Davey!” she called out. “Get over here!”

Soon enough, Davey had hopped out of his seat before rushing over to the trio, James watching with a warm smile as Mana finally settled down. A bit, at least. He had actually now laid between Ula’s legs, still moving around in pure excitement as she held him.

“Davey!” Ula exclaimed as her little brother came to her, throwing himself onto his knees before hugging her as best as possible. “My baby brother, how I missed you!”

“I, I missed you too!” Davey replied as he too had stray tears run down his features, nuzzling his face against his sister as she returned the tight hug.

“You guys are so dramatic.” Ula gave a laugh as she kissed the top of Davey’s head. “I wasn’t gone that long, was I?”

“It felt like forever.” Davey wept as his grip around Ula grew tighter. “Don’t ever do that again.”

“Why not?” Ula ruffled his hair with her hand that wasn’t on Mana. “I was thinking of taking you next time. And Mana.”

“Okay, but don’t ever leave us alone like that again. Please.” Davey sniffled against Ula. “Mana really missed you. He was sad all the time. A-And your boyfriends missed you. And Cordie. And Kala. And the puppies. And mom and dad.”

“And you?”

“Especially me.” Davey wiped his face as he finally pulled himself away from his sister. “I, I got something for you.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, just now. I won it at a shooting game.” Davey presented the plush axolotl to Ula, making her gasp in delight.

“I love it.” Ula hugged Davey once more after taking a good look at the plush. “You’ll be happy to know that I got some souvenirs for all of you guys too. I just left them at home. I left all of my bags at home after my dad picked me up.”

“I’m excited to see everything.” Davey looked up at James who helped the two up, even petting Mana’s head after taking his leash.

“You know, you didn’t greet me like they did.” Ula joked to James who gave a quiet chuckle.

“I was being merciful. I knew how everybody else would react. Such as your mothe-”

“Ula! My baby!” Jelly’s almost screamed as she jumped from her seat.

“Oh boy…”

“I thought you told her you would be arriving today.”

“I did.” Ula sighed with a laugh.

[rocket-remmy]

Such Great Heights||Luce and Remmy

TIMING: Current PARTIES: @divineluce and @whatsin-yourhead SUMMARY: ...and such lowest of lows. CONTENT: PTSD flashback, Teeny tiny description of gore towards the end

Pulling into the parking lot of the carnival, Luce waited for Remmy before paying the entry fee and tilting her head towards the gates for them to follow behind her. Looking at some of the rides, she couldn’t help but cast a sardonic grin at the various attractions. The last time she’d been here was probably high school, when her boyfriend at the time had dragged her out one weekend. Because it’d be fun. More like because he wanted to do all the stupid cutesy couple bullshit. Which wasn’t what today was about. This was her way of trying to make Remmy feel better. Most people found carnivals fun so why the fuck not. “Anything in particular catching your eye?” She asked, spinning around to face Remmy as they walked inside, the flannel tied around her waist flaring out as she did. “It’s a fucking shame you can’t eat stuff here. The funnel cake here is ridiculously good.”

In retrospect, Remmy hadn’t been gone long. The world was barely even changed, everyone moving on day to day with their daily lives. Even the security firm had moved on, and suddenly Remmy had no job, no fallback, no money. But they still had a home, a place with Lydia. And they still had their friends and Nell was alright, and they still had this. They still had something normal. As they headed into the carnival, Remmy smoothed their hands down the front of their shorts. They’d chosen to wear something comfortable, but nice, making a conscious decision about what they were wearing for the first time in...a really long time. Nice shorts, a nicer shirt. They’d even combed their hair back. “It really is,” Remmy noted as they headed in. They could smell the wonderful aroma of all the food and it made their mouth water a little, but the thought of not being able to truly taste it made them furrow their brows in distaste. “Almost everyone I asked told me to try the food. I guess we’ll have to at some point, though. At least for your sake.” They shrugged. It was nice that Luce had asked them to come to this with her, they knew she just wanted them to feel better. “Admittedly, I haven’t been to many carnivals. I wouldn’t mind starting out with a ride first, though. Like...the rollercoaster? The teacups?”

“Yeah, food’s the big thing. Everyone loves an excuse to eat deep-fried whatever. That said, it’s usually great deep-fried whatever.” Luce nodded as she walked through the crowd. When she’d picked up Remmy, she had noticed that they looked a bit better, visually. Not being covered in blood or looking half starved tended to do that to someone. She didn’t really know if they were actually feeling better, but that didn’t really matter. This trip was meant to fix that. Because christ, they’d really been through the fucking ringer. So had her sister, but Luce had a feeling Nell would find comfort being with her friends, not with her. At their words, she raised an eyebrow before pausing to whisper in their ear, “Mhm. I definitely wouldn’t mind going for a ride first.” She said and darted away, tilting her head towards the roller coaster. “Tea cups sound lame, we might as well have fun on the coaster, right?”

“I did love carnival food before,” Remmy answered, smiling at the ease they felt as they walked along the path with Luce. “When I could taste things.” They had made sure to have a nice, full meal yesterday to make sure nothing went wrong today, and it was more than they’d had in a long time. Luce leaned in to them, then, and they could feel her warm breath on their cheek. A flush ran into their face, turning it red as Luce darted off. They fumbled for a moment before heading off after her, clearing their throat. “You’re such a tease,” they called after her, rolling their eyes as they came up next to her. “Rollercoaster it is.” The line wasn’t too long, they’d come a little earlier in the evening so not too many people were around yet. “Did you go to carnivals a lot as a kid?”

Watching the way their face began to flush, Luce cast them an innocent look. “I don’t know what you mean.” She said before grinning as she took her place in the line. There were a handful of people ahead of them in line, which wasn’t exactly ideal. She was kind of looking forward to doing things that wouldn’t involve talking to Remmy. Physical things-- a flicker of a grin flashed across her face-- she and Remmy were fine. Better than fine. But when it came to talking, she wanted to do anything but that. Leaning against the railing, Luce shrugged. “We came here a lot, yeah. But, mostly because of business stuff. Mom would take us and point out all the shitty acts.” 

“You do, too,” Remmy rebutted, shaking their head. Being back in this natural routine felt nice. They could just talk and be and not have to think about everything that had happened. The distractions were happily taken. “Really? That’s cool. I didn’t actually go to my first theme park slash carnival until I was nineteen. A couple of the guys from my circuit took me as part of a group. It was like-- some weird boardwalk amusement park in Boston.” They glanced around, trying to reconcile the place they were in now with the memories they had of places like it. “It was much different than this. A lot more...booths and arcades instead of rides.” The line moved up pretty quickly, seeing as quite a few people could fit onto a cart at once. Remmy pressed against the railing and looked over it as the cart chugged away. “So, we’re sitting right up front, right?”

“Maybe I do.” Luce replied with a bold look, as though daring them to prove her wrong. The flirting, watching them blush and bluster, she felt good about all of this. It was normal, without any of the confusing feelings that she’d felt before. Which was a good fucking thing-- maybe she’d just been feeling off after throwing all her magic into the bolts of lightning that night. That must have been it. “No shit?” She asked, eyebrows raised. A part of her wondered what they meant by circuit-- she didn’t know jack shit about military stuff. Were those the people whose names were etched onto Remmy’s back? But, a much large part of her kept her mouth clamped shut. “That tracks for boardwalks, at least the ones I’ve seen.” She said and watched as the cart shuddered to a stop before them. “Sounds good to me. I’m no bitch.”

“Yeah, well,” Remmy shrugged back, “small town kid, remember? The most ‘amusement’ we had in Rock Springs was throwing rocks at the trains. Or dodging between them when they came into the station.” They gave a grin, bouncing on their heels as they waited for the next cart to come in, feeling that anticipation already building in their arms and legs. They hadn’t been on a roller coaster in quite a long time, and last time they’d been on one, they remembered how thrilling it had felt. “Good. Cause we’d have problems if you were,” they said, stepping out when they gate opened and motioning for Luce to step into the cart first. Everyone else began piling into the other seats and Remmy took their spot next to her. “So are you as much of a screamer on these as you are in bed?” they asked, giving a cheeky grin as the security bars came down on them.

“I mean, White Crest is technically a small town. But fair.” Luce said with a shrug. All the shit she’d heard about Remmy’s life-- the close-minded small town they’d grown up in, their time in the military, things about their mom-- it was more than she wanted to know. And that unsettled her. She didn’t like knowing it, didn’t like how much she actually… Felt wasn’t the right word. She didn’t feel anything for Remmy. Whatever it was, she didn’t like it. She was just doing this because they deserved better than all the bullshit the world had thrown at them. Slipping ahead of them, Luce sat down and rolled her eyes at their response. “Guess you’ll just have to find out.” She said with a grin as the roller coaster began to roll up the tracks with a loud click-clacking noise.

“Okay, smarty pants,” Remmy said back, with a little roll of their eyes, “then small poor town.” The cart lurched forward and began traveling up the incline, the anticipation building. This was always one of the best parts, and somehow Remmy felt like it went on for longer than usual. Were they really this high up? It didn’t look right, but before they could say anything, the coaster lurched forward and they were plummeting towards the ground. Remmy let out a little yelp, hands flying up. Remembering just how fun this was, wind whipping their face. The coaster came to turn, then a loop, then a twist, and Remmy couldn’t help but let out a yell in excitement. They could only hope Luce was enjoying it as much as they were.

The roller coaster continued to rise, higher and higher, until Luce could swear that she could see one of the UMaine buildings from the top. How the fu-- without any warning, she found the cart tipping over the edge and they hurtled back to the ground at speed. A yelp of shock escaped from her mouth, mostly from surprise, but a small bit of fear filled her as she felt the force push her back in the seat. How the fuck was this thing going so goddamn fast? But, Remmy was yelling out next to her, making a thrilled, excited sound. And you know? Fuck it. They were having a good time. Raising her arms, she let the coaster continue it’s weird fucking trajectory, doing yet another loop around. She could have sworn there was only one loop to the ride, but… sure? There was definitely something strange going on.

The speed at which the coaster was traveling seemed almost impossible, but Remmy wasn’t going to question it right now. Though things tried to calculate and click in their head, they pushed the thoughts away and let the motion of the ride take them. Swinging to the left and the right with each jerk and turn of the coaster. Luce seemed to be enjoying it, too, and Remmy let out a laugh, a giant smile spreading on their face. This was all they’d wanted. This was what made them feel okay and safe and, well-- good. Warm. Happy. When the ride finally came to a stop, Remmy’s hair was plastered back as if someone had sprayed it with heavy hairspray and their eyes were watering. “Wow…” they said, turning to look at Luce, rubbing the tears away, “that was crazy.”

As fucked up as the roller coaster was, Luce couldn’t deny that it was a fun time. Did she want to go on it again? Hell no. As the cart coasted back to the start, she looked over at Remmy, wiping away at their eyes with a grin. Good. For the first time in… christ. How long had it been since they looked happy like that? Months? Probably. Fuck. Fixing her hair, Luce nodded. “You can say that again. I get the feeling that the rides here have changed a bit since I was last here.” She said as they hopped out of the roller coaster and exited back to the carnival grounds. “So…” She said, hands slipping into the pockets of her shorts as they walked around. “Where to next? I’m game for whatever.” Luce shrugged and gestured to the various attractions around them, from the people screaming their heads off on the drop ride to the various games booths set up in one section of the carnival to the large ferris wheel that loomed above them. “Pick your poison.” 

When they clambered off, Remmy took another glance at the rollercoaster tracks. Their brain quickly did the math, and they came away baffled. “That’s...huh,” was all they said, trailing after Luce down the exit ramp. When they made it back out into the open area Remmy scanned the area. “Ooh, what about some of the booths? I might not look it, but I’m a whiz at some of these things. Though, my aim might be a little off with only one eye,” they tacked on, frowning a bit before shrugging it off. They tugged Luce in the direction of one of the booths that looked like it was all about figuring out the mystery using math. There were shapes and blocks set next to an open figure. “Come one, come all, and see if you can figure out the mystery shape! You get a choice of four blocks to try and fill in the whole thing-- think you’ve got what it takes?” The man behind the counter gave his schpiel with a keen eye and a smirk, as if he knew these games were a hoax. Mostly. Remmy, oblivious to them usually, looked back at Luce. “Think we’ve got what it takes?”

“Booths sound good to me.” Luce nodded and was startled when they grabbed her by the hand and dragged her towards the different games. If Remmy didn’t want to do the typical “Chuck a baseball at these totally not weighted milk bottles,” she wasn’t going to stop them. But, as they came to a stop in front of a small stand that seemed to be some kind of… logic puzzle thing, Luce raised an eyebrow as they looked at her. “Me? Definitely not. You? Probably. You’re good with geometry and shit, right? You can take the reins on this one.” She said holding her hands up in the air. The geometric designs she did, the crisp lines and patterns, they weren’t actual math. It was more about balance, following what nature just did. This shit? It was in Remmy’s wheelhouse, not hers. 

“I mean, I think so?” Remmy shrugged, but stepped up anyway and waved the attendant down. “Think you’ve got what it takes, lad?” he asked, raising a brow. Remmy nodded and handed over the five bucks before looking at the pieces then back to the pattern they needed to fit. It was obvious that it was a trick-- most people would pick the curved pieces to fit the slot of the shape, but Remmy’s mind picked up something else. They grabbed the four pieces they knew would fit, fiddled for a minute, then slid them in easily and stepped back. “Done!” they said with a big grin. The attendant blinked in surprise, a sure sign that not a lot of people won this booth, if ever. “Well, I’ll be,” he said, before pulling down an inflatable shark or a stuffed bear, “which one you want?” And of course Remmy grabbed the shark. They turned back to Luce. “Alright, your turn to pick a booth.”

With a bemused smile on her lips, Luce watched as they easily solved the puzzle with hardly a second of hesitation. She had a feeling that would be the case-- there was something about the way they saw things that-- Swallowing, she forced herself to look down the rows of booths and crowds of people around them. Nope. She didn’t know shit about what they were good at. She didn’t know shit about them. She didn’t care. As Remmy claimed their prize, she schooled her expression back to a more neutral one when they looked back at her. “Hm. How about that one?” She pointed to a booth with hundreds of water balloons taped on the wall and a man smiling impishly as he waved handfuls of darts. “Step right up, step right up! C’mon and try your luck! Pop a white balloon and win yourself one of our wonderful prizes!” He said, gesturing to the stuffed animals that decorated the booth above him. “You there, you two! Why don’t you give it a whirl? Five darts, five dollars, best deal in the park!” He said with a grin as he eyed Luce up and down. “Pretty girl like you, what do you say? Promise you’ll spend some time here with me, won’t ya?”

Remmy followed Luce’s gesture and spotted the balloon booth. They were full of water, made to pop-- but the secret about these booths was that they were slightly deflated, which made them much harder to pop. Still, it’d be fun to watch Luce try it out. Remmy was more than sure Luce could nail a deflated balloon and still make it pop. “Sure!” they said, and started heading over, when the man gestured to them. They were all on board until-- promise. Remmy’s entire body froze, alarms blaring in their head. They stopped mid-stride and grabbed Luce, a vice grip on her arm. The way the man was looking at them, that gleam in his eye. Remmy saw straight through it and on the other side was Jax. Silver tongue sharp, blue eyes glistening as he stared them down. “N-not that,” they stuttered, back peddling. “Not that one.” Turned away from him as he called after them, trying to calm the rushing of adrenaline in their chest.

Luce was more than game to throw some darts at the wall-- she did it often enough at Soul, she might as well try and win something here. But, as the man spoke, something about him set Remmy off. Their hand, cold and unyielding, clenched her arm in a tight grip. She felt them immediately stiffen and turn, as though they wanted to run from the booth. “No-- yeah, no, we don’t have to do that one.” Luce reassured them, though as they hurried away, she turned her head to stare at the man who seemed both crestfallen and bemused. He waved at her, wiggling his fingers jovially. Fucking creep. Letting out a soft breath, Luce summoned a small flame in the middle of one of the stuffed bears that dangled over his head before turning away. In a few minutes, that bear would explode in a mass of melting polyester and fire, right over his fucking head. And he probably deserved it. Probably. “You know? I’m good on games. I don’t really feel like lugging around some big ass teddy bear any ways.” 

Remmy tried not to wheeze when they sucked in a breath, but it felt like someone was crushing their chest. Just for a moment. And then Luce’s voice brought them back from the dark tunnel in their mind that was trying to pull them back into that cage. Remmy jerked slightly before deflating. “S-sorry,” they muttered, eyes falling. This was the second time they’d done something like that in front of Luce, though this time it hadn’t been as bad. That was a win, right? “I always seem to ruin things,” they mumbled, scrubbing their hand across their eye to make sure they weren’t going to cry in the middle of this carnival. All clear so far. “Let’s um...let’s just go somewhere else. Do you uh-- wanna try any food? I can’t exactly taste it but...I’ve heard it’s all really good.” And then they could pretend this never happened and just keep enjoying the night.

“Stop apologizing.” Luce said automatically. She slid her arm from their grasp and instead gripped their hand with her own. Clenching their hand tightly, she kept a wary eye on Remmy’s face. She wanted to ask them what had happened, but for once, she thought better of it. Now wasn’t the time to pry. “We can go wherever you want.” She nodded. At the suggestion of food, Luce shrugged. “If you can’t taste it, there’s not much point in it? The gimmick of carnival food wasn’t something she’d ever really gone for. Glancing around them, she saw that the ferris wheel had the shortest line of the things nearby. “How about the ferris wheel? We can get out of the booths for a bit.” She said with a nod. 

Luce’s hands were warm against theirs, helping to pull Remmy from the swirl of panic that was trying to set in. They felt their body relaxing as she gave them an out, following her line of sight around. Ferris Wheel. Hadn’t lots of people suggested that? Wasn’t it supposed to be calming and relaxing and, well-- romantic? Remmy swallowed. “Okay, yeah,” they nodded, “let’s do the ferris wheel.” It would be a nice break, and maybe they could finally work up the nerve to tell Luce how they were feeling. They had no reason to believe she didn’t feel the same, but even if she didn’t, they owed it to her to let her know. “Actually, yeah. That sounds perfect,” they said with a little more confidence.

“Great.” Luce tugged them towards the ferris wheel, pulling Remmy through the crowd of people towards the line. The sooner they could get away from whatever had freaked them out, the better. This was supposed to be a way to help them feel back to normal-- whatever the fuck that was. Luce wasn’t even sure if she knew what normal was at this point. Fine, White Crest normal. As they stood in line, Luce became very aware of her hand in theirs, the coolness of their skin a stark contrast to her own heat. Clearing her throat, she shifted away, pulling her hand free from theirs under the pretense of looking through the crowd intently. “Huh. Thought I saw someone I recognized.” She lied before shrugging and folding her arms across her chest. “I’m sure everyone and their mother’s been here though.”

Remmy was extremely aware of Luce’s hand in theirs as they stood in line. It felt nice, it felt...comfortable. They couldn’t deny the fact that they felt safe with Luce. Everything she’d done made them feel good around her. Even their stupid little argument before Remmy had been kidnapped. Because they never would have argued if Luce hadn’t felt something. When she pulled her hand from theirs and looked around, Remmy followed her gaze. “I mean, probably,” they agreed, “it’s a small town, I’m sure you run into people you know all the time, huh?” The line shifted forward and Remmy elbowed her. “We’re next. Looks like they’re two man carts, too,” they said with a little grin. Nice and private, they liked that.

“Yeah, that’s how it goes.” Luce agreed as she handed the bored looking operator ten bucks. Had carnival rides always been that expensive? Maybe her mom had been right about carnivals capitalizing on nostalgia and some kind of American ideal to line their pockets. Or maybe they were just straight ripping people off cuz they could, who knows. At Remmy’s nudging, Luce rolled her eyes. “Seems that way. Works for me, I don’t super feel like sharing a space with some rando. God forbid I get stuck in a four seater with a snotty kid or something.” She said, wrinkling her nose. There were so many fucking kids around-- which made sense. It was a goddamn carnival. But still, she really wasn’t a fan of them. As the latest batch of riders exited, Luce slid inside the cart and waited for Remmy. “Let’s see how good of a view there is from the top.

Remmy let out a short chuckle, shaking their head. “Kids aren’t so bad,” they shrugged as they headed up and slid in next to her. “They can get annoying, though, I get that.” In truth, Remmy didn’t mind kids. There’d been a point in their life, not too long ago, that they’d wanted kids themself. But that life was...so far behind them now. An impossibility. Even if they could adopt, raising kids as an undead being seemed...wrong. They sank into the seat next to Luce and tried to push the thoughts from their mind, smiling. “A lot of people told me the view from up top is really good, that you can like-- see the whole town and stuff,” they said, waiting for the mechanism to lock and the ferris wheel took off again, beginning the slow climb of their cart up to the top. “Hey, um...thanks,” they said after a quiet moment. “For um-- doing this. And, well-- for everything, really, but this was-- really nice.”

“I guess, but still.” Luce wrinkled her nose as she watched a kid shove a massive wad of cotton candy into their mouth, their hands dyed blue from the sticky sugary treat. Nasty. She’d never liked kids. She’d never willingly helped tutoring the kids in the coven-- not that many of the moms wanted her there, the most she ever did was teach the little ones how to swear and light things on fire. Kids were Bea’s thing. She had no idea if Nell wanted kids, but either way, their mom wasn’t getting grandkids from Luce. “I picked a job where I don’t have to deal with them for a reason. The shitty frat boys that come into the shop are the most I can handle.” As the ferris wheel began to move, Luce looked out across the carnival grounds, watching the people with mild interest. It wasn’t that impressive, but they still had a ways to go. “Hm?” She asked, turning to look at them. Waving their thanks off, she shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. You’ve been through a lot of shit, I just figured this would help.”

“That’s fair,” Remmy agreed, “they’re not for everyone.” And they weren’t for them anymore, either. But that was something they’d deal with later. Now, they were trying to have a good time. They could think about stupid, sad stuff later. They gave a little snort of laughter. “Arguably, frat boys are worse than dealing with children, in my opinion.” They shook their head, leaning back and scooting a tad closer to Luce. “I’m not worried about it, I was thanking you,” they pointed out, “for doing a nice thing. For me.” They paused, looked out across the carnival. They weren’t too high yet, but they could already see the town coming into view. “You didn’t have to, you know? Do all this. Just uh-- just hanging with you is enough.”

“You’re not wrong.” Luce sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. She could still remember the last stupid frat bro who wanted some dumb thick armband. It was such a basic bitch sort of tattoo, and yet he had this machismo act going into it, like it was something to be proud of. Whatever, she’d gotten paid for it and that was what mattered most. At their words, Luce shifted somewhat uncomfortably in the metal seat. “Yeah. It’s whatever.” She said as she continued to watch the people fade into the distance, their forms becoming small and details blurred as the ferris wheel took them higher and higher. “I don’t have to do shit, I know that. But, fuck. You’ve had a really messed up time lately. You just deserve better than all the stuff that’s been thrown at you.” She replied.

Remmy glanced down as they neared the top, watching the people disappear into tiny little blurs on the ground. The music faded slightly and the wind brushed their faces, though Remmy couldn’t feel if it was a cool breeze or a warm breeze. Luce was still being blase about things, but that was really just her style, wasn’t it? Shifting again, Remmy turned their head enough to look at her. They didn’t know if she was ever aware of it, but she always seemed to sit on their right side, so that they could always see her. They really needed to get a new glass eye, this eye patch was getting old. Slowly, they reached up and touched it, remembering the pain they’d been put through in the past few weeks. “Yeah…” they muttered, “I don’t know if that’s entirely true, but-- I’m here, now. I made it through…” swallowed, “thanks to you. And Blanche, and Nell, and Morgan.”

Idly, Luce wondered what would happen if she sent a small ball of fire out from the top of the ferris wheel. Probably nothing good. Which, in and of itself would probably be kind of amusing, but the mass panic and shit that would spawn from it probably wouldn’t be a great look. Besides, she doubted Remmy would be too keen on it either. Noticing the way they shifted, Luce raised an eyebrow at their words. “I haven’t done anything. Doesn’t surprise me that the others have been there to help you through this, though. Blanche is a good kid, so’s my sister. And Morgan,” She paused, remembering the echoes of a memory that wasn’t hers to have, the muddled feelings of tenderness and love clashing with the alienness of being a soul, stuck in a corpse. “Morgan’s cool too, I guess.” 

“Sure you have,” Remmy insisted, “I mean-- I know we haven’t known each other that long, but it’s been a few months. That’s a bit. But you like...you were there when I had that one, you know-- bad moment. And it’s always--” they were stuttering again, losing their train of thought. “--it’s always like, easy to talk to you.” They glanced away, down at their feet and kicked them a little. “Sure, everyone else was great, but there’s things that just seem, I dunno-- easier to say to you.” They sighed. Their chest was beginning to feel tight again, and it was hard to swallow. They licked their lips and took a chance to glance over at her. “Besides, I didn’t really-- I was sort of avoiding a lot of them while things were uh-- happening, cause I was scared. So it was nice, um...having you around.” 

A couple of months. Hm, yeah, that was about right, Luce mused as she thought back to when Remmy had first wandered into the shop, looking for someone to adjust their tattoo. Which, was still a piece she was proud of. Was it normal style? No. But, it was meaningful to Remmy and she’d helped them gain some kinda closure with it. As they continued to speak, as their words came out in a halting, stuttering cadence, Luce’s eyes narrowed as she stared out at the town as it grew before them. The pit of her stomach welled with that same… fucked up feeling from before. It was a weird flip flopping of anxiety and something a lot like dread. Christ. “What can I say, I’m a good listener.” She said offhandedly. “I’m also a good distraction. So, uh… happy to help.”

Luce was acting a little strange, but maybe she was just as nervous as them. Remmy swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in their throat. Tried to think back on what Morgan said, to just be open and up front and honest. Just let her know how they were feeling and hope for the best in return. Remmy could feel the nerves welling up in them and they wrung their hands around the bar for a moment before swallowing fully, drawing in a breath. They supposed it really was now or never. The ferris wheel had stopped at the top and the entire town was in view for them. Lights sparkled in the distance and danced beneath their feet. The breeze brushed Luce’s hair slightly and Remmy felt like the seat was about to drop out beneath them. “Well, I mean like...maybe you can be more than just a good distraction. Because you’re-- I mean…” just say it, dummy, “I like you. I like spending time with you. You make me feel, um-- good.” A pause. “Safe.” Was that enough? They were worried if they talked anymore it would turn into a long, empty ramble, and they didn’t want to overwhelm her yet. So they just shut their mouth, and waited.

As Remmy continued to speak, as they kept talking, the twisting sensation in Luce’s stomach intensified. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. No. Shut up, Remmy, shut up. Just shut up, stop talking, leave this alone. Her hands curled around the metal safety bar in front of her, her knuckles white as she gripped it hard. They liked her. In that stupid, feelings bullshit kind of way. She should have seen this coming-- the argument they’d had that day in Bea’s house, that had ended in them running away in pain... She’d purposefully blocked out the memories of their conversation, refused to address them or even think about them at all. And now it was coming back to haunt her. Lips pressed tightly together in a thin line, Luce continued to look out across the town, focusing on the tall buildings of UMaine. “I’m not someone who’s more than a distraction-- I don’t want anything more than that.” She said, tone calm and level. “What you’re saying, that’s not our deal, Remmy.”

She wasn’t saying anything. Fuck, she wasn’t saying anything. Remmy couldn’t bring themself to look at her as they waited. But when she did finally speak, Remmy wanted nothing more than for the silence to have continued instead. “What deal?” they suddenly said, unable to hold in the words that were stacking up in their mind. “We didn’t-- we never--” their hands gripped the bar tightly, “we never made a deal. I know you said-- I know what you said, but you-- why would do this, then? Why would you try to help me if you--” they paused, biting their tongue. “I just...I don’t understand. I mean, it’s fine if-- but why would you ask me here, why would you do this if you don’t?” They gestured out to the carnival, to the seats. “I know I’m usually pretty bad at reading signals, but I thought…”

“We sure fucking did.” Luce said, though her words lacked the bite that she wanted them to have. The fire that normally raged and burned within her, ready to lash out at a moment’s notice, it was low now. Low and weak, as though someone had dumped a bucket of water upon it, leaving only coals behind. Gritting her teeth together, Luce twisted in the seat to stare at Remmy, her eyes dark and full of all the anger she could muster. She didn’t want to do this-- why didn’t she want to do this? Why didn’t she want to say-- no. She had to fucking make this clear. She didn’t want this. She didn’t want Remmy, she didn’t want anybody. She was just fucking fine on her own. She was fine. She was fine. “I said that things were simple, you agreed. I said it was just fucking, you agreed. And that’s been just fine for me.” She said before continuing, “I told you. You don’t deserve this shit. You don’t deserve half of the fucked up shit you go through and you know what? I felt bad for you.” Luce said, fire and venom in her words. “I felt sorry for you. That’s all.” 

Remmy recoiled. The ferris wheel started up again and they started their descent. Luce’s eyes looked...angry. Was she mad at them? For admitting their feelings? Or just for...ruining what they had? It had been nice, of course it had. But-- Remmy wanted more. And it was okay if Luce didn’t want more, of course it was, but this was-- this was different. She didn’t say that, she was just denying it. After what she’d done, how could they not believe Luce cared for them in some way? They turned away. They couldn’t look at her anymore. They hated the way her eyes still seemed to pierce them. Her words stung. She felt sorry for them. Remmy blinked fiercely, already feeling the hot sting of tears in them. “All I was saying is-- I do want more. And it’s-- it’s fine if you don’t, but I wanted you to know.” They felt their body stiffening, a slight anger rising. “Don’t feel sorry for me. I don’t need-- I don’t need you to feel sorry for me. I need you to actually fucking feel your own feelings.”

This was such a fucking mistake. All of this was a mistake. She’d known that it was a stupid thing, to invite them to the carnival-- and yet, she’d done it anyways. Luce continued to grip the safety railing of the ferris wheel, the metal beginning to glow with heat under her hands. But, she was oblivious to it, too caught up in her own thoughts to notice. “I don’t do “more.” I told you what this was from the start. It’s just sex. And if you think that you’ve caught feelings or some shit-- that’s not my problem. That’s on you.” She growled, staring at them intently, even after they turned their gaze away. “I don’t do feelings. I don’t have feelings, not for you or for anyone else that I’m sleeping with.” Luce retorted. She didn’t give a fuck about Anita, or Sera, or… The thought of Nadia and her weird fucking behavior crossed her mind. That was different. Luce was just trying to figure out what was going on, playing her part as one of those nosey Vural girls. “Whatever you’re looking for, it’s not happening here. Not with me.”

“Of course you have feelings!” Remmy said, throwing up their hands. They didn’t notice the railing heating up either, too focused on Luce. “Everyone has feelings!” It wasn’t even about her rejecting them anymore. Of course it still stung, her words burned, but now their anger was bubbling again, because Luce wouldn’t just let herself feel. “If you didn’t have feelings, you wouldn’t have let me stay after my panic attack! If you didn’t have feelings, you wouldn’t have freaked out over my collar! Or come to save me! Or been concerned about me! You have feelings, Luce, you’re just afraid of them!” they were nearly shouting now, vision blurred with tears. The ferris wheel finally made it back to the bottom and Remmy wrenched the railing open before they even fully stopped, most certainly breaking the locking mechanism. “I just want you to-- I just want you to actually admit that you care! It’s not even about feelings anymore-- I can deal with that, but can you-- can you really say you don’t even care about me? At all?”

Annoyed, Luce glared at Remmy. “You know what I meant. I don’t do fucking… relationships. Romantic feelings, whatever they fuck you want to call it.” As their voice began to rise in volume, she could feel her anger growing. They didn’t have any fucking right to do this to her. “I’m not afraid of my feelings.” She said through gritted teeth. How could she be? Emotions were what drove her magic, what fueled her power. Rage and wrath and anger and hatred and sadness-- she was very fucking aware of them. And even if she was afraid of feelings-- She’d been clear. She’d been honest about the situation. And now Remmy was trying to turn this into something it wasn’t, trying to make her say something that wasn’t true. It wasn’t true. She didn’t care about them. Storming out of the ferris wheel, Luce barely registered that it was now pitch black out, that the crowds from before had thinned considerably. “Yeah. I can. I don’t care. I don’t care about you or anyone else in this fucking town.”

Remmy felt like someone had punched a hole into their chest and ripped their heart out. It was technically a feeling they knew, too, considering the monster that had torn them in half and ripped out most of their organs with it. Luce had to be lying, either to them or herself, but the words still tore through them more than most injury. They clenched their teeth and turned away from her. The world had grown quiet, but they hardly noticed. “You’re an asshole,” they muttered, but made sure their voice was loud enough for her to hear. “And you’re wrong.” They weren’t about to try and tell her how she felt, it wasn’t like they could know, but Remmy did know she cared about them, no matter what she said. It had taken them years to believe that people could love and care about them, and they were just now learning to accept that. And now that they finally had, the one person they wanted to say it the most had decided to say no, if only to protect herself. And if that was her decision, then...fine. “But fine. If that’s what you want-- then fine. But I’ll never stop caring about you.” 

Squaring her shoulders, Luce folded her arms across her chest, the motion defensive and instinctual. Yeah. Yeah, she was an asshole. She was a bitch. She was a fucking thoughtless bitch who didn’t give a single fuck about anyone else-- she was every word that everyone had ever thrown at her. A loner, a slut, an asshole, whatever. Whatever. It didn’t matter. “Yep, never claimed to be anything else.” She said firmly with a slight tilt of her head. “I’m a giant fucking asshole.” At their final words though… Luce felt her throat tighten as she stared at them. She didn’t want anyone to care about her. She didn’t need that sort of scrutiny, that sort of attention. She was just fine on her own. She always had been, always would be. “Don’t. Just fucking--” Letting out a frustrating breath, Luce shook her head. “I don’t need your compassion. I don’t want it. I don’t want whatever bullshit it is you think there is between us. There’s nothing here. There is no us. There’s just you and me. That’s it.” She said. She didn’t want them. She didn’t. 

“No, Luce,” Remmy said, turning to face her fully again. They stood with a straightened back, muscles tense, but no anger left in their eyes. Only a sense of determination and a little bit of confidence. The world was already crushing them into a tiny box at every turn, they would not let the people they cared about take anything from them. “You don’t get to decide that. I get to decide who I care about. And you can say whatever you want, it won’t change my mind,” they said sternly, eyes sharp. “You are a good person and I wish you would pull your head out of your ass long enough to see that. You deserve love, Luce, from whoever you want it to be from. And you do care. I just hope you figure that out before it’s too late.” And with that said, they turned, and stormed off. Hands shaking, legs knocking. They didn’t cry until they were sure they were out of earshot of her, and they didn’t cry for the rejection, as painful as it felt. They cried because they couldn’t help her. Because they couldn’t reach her through all the walls she’d put up.

“Oh really? Well, you don’t get to tell me what I fucking deserve.” Luce shot back. The anger, the rage, the frustration-- all of the emotions that coursed through her veins, that sent her pulse pounding in her chest, none of them held a candle to the twisting, awful sensation in her chest. She hated this. She hated them, hated the situation, hated the fact that they’d just had to open their mouth and ruin everything. “You know what you can do? If you say you care for me, you can fuck off.” She spat. With that, she turned and hurried back towards the parking lot. As she pushed through the lingering crowds of people, Luce felt beads of moisture start to well up in the corner of her eyes. Swiping at them with the back of her hand, she let out a growl of anger. Fuck Remmy. Fuck them. Fuck all of this. And fuck her for being so stupid, for letting herself get close to someone who was just… too good for any of this. 

Slipping her phone out of her pocket, Luce scrolled through her contacts before settingling on one of the contacts. She listened to the dial tone ring once, twice, before a voice answered, slightly surprised, slightly flattered. “Hey. What are you up to tonight?” Luce asked, her voice heavy with implication. It was just sex. No feelings. No attachments. That’s all it was. It was all she was good for.

[littleladymab]

JonMartin - Forehead Kiss

More cross-posting from DW. This was for an anon on CuriousCat who asked for a “soft smoöch”. 

There’s a couch in the breakroom that gets used on occasions — mostly for mid-shift naps, and Jon knows he’s in no position to scold anyone for doing that when he’s fallen asleep at his desk more than once. 

No one is certain how long it’s been there, but it’s clean and comfortable, and currently quite a glorious investment in Jon’s opinion as he sprawls out over it. 

The world had been spinning after that last statement, and he needed to lie down to wait it off before filing follow-up requests on the witnesses. He had never been a man prone to vertigo, but after his conversation with Michael Crew where he felt like he was falling for a solid ten minutes, well… 

Sometimes, even solid ground didn’t feel sturdy enough some days. 

Jon doesn’t remember what time it is. His glasses are… somewhere, and he has an arm thrown over his forehead as he stares at the ceiling and waits for the dizzy spell to pass. 

The door to the breakroom cracks open, and Martin’s suddenly audible, mid-sentence, “—me that we’re running out of sugar—” 

Jon wonders if he should feign sleep but if he closes his eyes then his stomach tilts one way and his chest tilts the other and he feels like he’ll twist apart and fly off in different directions so he keeps his eyes open as Martin cuts himself off and the door swings shut. 

“Oh. Were you sleeping?” 

“No,” he says, resigned. “Just... “ 

“Yeah.” 

“Needed a break.” 

Martin crosses the distance to the couch, pausing long enough to pick up Jon’s glasses and place them gently on the table. “Do you want me to get you anything?” 

“I take it you’re here to make tea?”   

He can practically hear the wry smile, even though he keeps his gaze focused on the reassuring stillness of the ceiling tiles. “Now what gave you that idea,” Martin says, though it isn’t quite a ‘no’, isn’t quite a ‘yes’. There’s a moment of hesitation, then Martin pulls one of the chairs over so he can sit down without being too much in Jon’s space. “Are you okay?” 

Jon closes his eyes, testing his limits, before tilting his head to the side to watch a fuzzy Martin watch him warily. “I will be, given time.” 

Martin takes a breath, and Jon can see all the potential questions swirling in his lungs as his chest expands. He waits for them, wondering which will be first, wondering which he will be able to answer truthfully, before Martin lets out a sigh and doesn’t ask a single one. 

“I’ll make you some tea,” he says instead, and Jon is more thankful than he can put into words. 

He returns to his study of the ceiling tiles as he listens to Martin bustle through the small kitchenette, muttering to himself as he puts on the kettle and prepares the mugs. It’s comforting, and for a brief moment, he can feel himself relax, almost to the point of sleep. 

It’s there, tugging at him, the promise of another breathless journey into the Vast, but he’s just so tired that he’s not sure he can fight it. 

And then there’s a hand against his brow, fingers carding back through his hair in a way that is both painfully familiar and incredibly alien to him. 

His eyes open, and he looks up to again watch Martin watching him. 

The hand doesn’t pull back, like a part of him thought it would. Instead, like the small, tiny part of him hoped it would, the fingers continue to trace a shape only they can see, brushing stands of graying hair away. 

“Let me read the next one,” Martin says, more of a plea than an offer. 

“Martin, I—”

“You’re not fine.” 

It’s not even worth lying about. “I can handle it.” That’s not a complete lie, at least. 

He almost pouts, stubborn, but instead he lets his thumb follow the ridge of bone between Jon’s eyes, pressing the spot where a wrinkle is undoubtedly forming. “So can I.” 

Jon continues to watch him, though Martin’s gaze has shifted, focused on something else somewhere just below his eyes. He takes a breath, clicks his tongue, and wonders at what Martin is thinking when the gaze jumps back to meet his. “I will let you know when I need your help.” 

It sounds a bit abrasive and dismissive, so he hurries to clarify, “I promise.” He is careful of how he has to phrase things, unwilling to wonder if he’s forcing Martin to believe him or something worse. 

But Martin’s expression falls, softens into something unreadable. His fingers, still half-tangled in Jon’s hair, shift enough so that he can lean in and place a soft, lingering kiss to Jon’s forehead. “I believe you,” he murmurs into the minimal space between them. 

Jon’s hand lifts before he can think about it, before he can second guess himself. It catches onto the back of Martin’s head before he can pull away, allowing himself the indulgence of catching the ruddy curls in his grip. 

The kiss is barely that, but sweet in a way that Jon misses as soon as Martin pulls back. Across the kitchenette, the kettle hisses in promises off a boiling scream, though Jon catches a brief look of reluctance as Martin rises to his feet — fixing his own glasses, fixing his shirt, touching his fingers briefly to the back of his neck then to his own lips. 

Jon watches him, content to let it be that, content that the world stops spinning like a teacup ride at a carnival when Martin is his center of gravity.

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 35: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

S: It's like, we do get a view of what the robots seem like to the humans and it’s basically that they're massive dumbasses. 

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon.  I'm Owls.

S: And I'm Specs.

O: And today we're gonna be talking about episode number 35: Desertion of the Dinobots, Part 1. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Sure.

O: And I got a new mic! So hopefully I sound a little bit better because my headset mic was disappointing. 

S: You sound good to me.

O: [Laughter] I'm just hoping for an improvement, quite frankly. Today we open on a wide green field where a scientist is flying an unmanned drone via a remote.

S: The Autobots are, you know, very complimentary towards the- about the drones maneuvers and a few feet away Soundwave clearly wants a break from Decepticon shenanigans and is taking a nap in Ironhide's backseat with Blaster.

O: A very strange booty call, perhaps? 

S: Either that or him and Blaster just have, you know, scheduled naps in and, unbeknownst, to Ironhide he was their next meeting spot.

O: That seems rude to a coworker, but- but what do I know about Autobot co-worker shenanigans? Ravage then ejects from Soundwave, who is still a boom box, uh, before being detained by Blaster.

S: Did Blaster not want Ravage tattling about what they do in their downtime? 

O: Possibly. You mean boombox cuddling? Blaster kind of finishes transforming? He’s like half transformed grabbing Ravage and Soundwave gets bumped out of Ironhide before transforming himself and just flying off.

S: Oh and, to clarify, the entire scuffle with Blaster and Ravage is literally inside Ironhide's, um, caboose? 

O: Yeah they basically-

S: Trunk? I don’t know what-

O: [Laughter] The back part of his van. Basically, Ravage tackles Blaster and they sort of fall back into Ironhide. [Laughter]

S: Yeah. Yeah, it just makes the entire thing pretty awkward.

O: Why? You don't wake up with one of your mortal enemies in your backseat every day, Specs? 

S: Well, I sure as hell hope not.

O: [Laughter] 

S: So, you know, Ironhide it has some, you know,  junk going on in his- in his trunk, you see. 

O: Lord, not again. Why is it always Ironhide? It’s always Ironhide! [Laughter] 

S: He has a lot of space. 

O: This shot is just so awkward, anyway, it definitely looks like Ravage is topping Blaster inside of Ironhide and, I mean, I definitely believe that Ravage is probably a top but wow! That van is just rockin right there. [Laughter] And then Soundwave flies over to Megatron and Starscream who are hanging out upon a convenient verdant hillside.

S: And, honestly, they’re right in plain sight so I don't really get why no one notices them. The Autobots don't notice them. The humans don't notice them. Did they use an invisibility spray again or can we just see them because we're breaking the fourth wall?

O: Ah, I believe that's the power of plot convenience I smell. 

S: Starscream prepares to shoot the drone but Megatron knocks his arm down with a great bonk effect, saying something about needing to be more discreet. 

O: Discreet! You’re all standing out in the open! Soundwave was chilling in Ironhide five minutes ago, for Pete's sake!

S: Starscream says what we're all thinking, “Since when has discretion mattered to us?”

O: Megatron hands over something to him and says to use it on the drone.

S: And then, back to our opening scene, it appears Ironhide has woken up and would like to know what the fuck is going on. 

O: [Laughter] Ravage runs off and Blaster gets dumped on the ground as Ironhide transforms.

S: No one is having a good day.

O: No one is having a good day. [Laughter] 

S: Blaster explains this only as, “Rockin and rollin with savage Ravage,” which does not make it sound any less dirty. 

O: Nope.

S: Or less risque?

O: [Laughter] Ironhide exclaims that they need to tell Prime that, “Decepticons are afoot,” but considering we see the Autobots watching the drone which Starscream is flying directly over I feel like they should probably know already.

S: Yeah, I mean-

O: And- 

S: None of them have very good observational skills, let's just go with that.

O: No they don’t.

S: Except Perceptor. 

O: Yeah, but I don't think Percy's here today so they can't see shit. [Laughter] 

S: Percy's busy doing science. 

O: Percy’s, you know, busy doing his actual job, duh.

S: Man, speaking of the drone, it has a pretty weird design. Like, why does it have cockpits, let alone two? 

O: No freaking idea. Starscream drops the device Megatron gave him onto the drone and then it explodes.

S: Like what was the point of this entire thing? 

O: I don’t- don’t really know what this accomplished at all.

S: Yeah, yeah so Blaster and Ironhide run up to warn Optimus and then Blaster says that he just went three rounds with Ravage.

O: Jesus Christ. you two! This is a children’s show! [Laughter] 

S: So the Autobots roll out to check the wreckage because no one is going to address what Blaster just said.

O: [Laughter] No one- no one is going to address this. Okay!

S: Yeah and so along with them are: Jazz, Hound, and Mirage who were also, I guess, just hanging out doing whatever. 

O: Not fucking Ravage? [Laughter]

S: [Laughter]

O: But Megatron has a scheme while the Autobots are distracted. To which I say he could have just left Ravage in Ironhide’s back seat I feel like that was distracting enough but what do I know?

S: I don't know, man. And- and onwards to a very 80s lab in stylish Autobot orangey-yellow.

O: Don't you just hate it when you're working and the entirety of Decepticon High Command Kool-Aid Man's their way into your workspace?

S: Yeah and, honestly, Starscream just looks weirdly pale in this shot. Maybe imitating the Kool-Aid Man doesn't agree with him. 

O: See I think they just failed to get his makeup right for this shot, don't you?

S: Yeah, yeah, I think that's more likely.

O: [Laughter] 

S: Megatron tells the scientists to hand over the blueprints and he'll let them live.

O: Starscream gets mad and thinks Megatron's being soft and stomps in and picks up one of the scientists, threatening him with his null-ray.

S: It's like, Starscream, I'm not sure what that's- 

O: Helping? 

S: Yeah.

O: How is that helping? 

S: Yeah. The scientist just, like, points out where the blueprints are- are stored and then he's perfectly fine when Starscream just tosses them to the ground so, it’s like, okay? 

O: They go to open the vault, but the Autobots arrive. 

S: Why is the vault so big? Because it's, like, Decepti- it's like giant robot scaled.

O: They have extra big secrets to store inside? 

S: Oh god it's like the ‘her hair’s so big it's full of secrets.’

O: Except a door, a vault. Whatever.

S: Yeah. Oh and Jazz proceeds to distract Starscream with, you know, his loud music and light show.

O: But Megatron is apparently unaffected by this and goes to shoot the Autobots but then his fusion cannon is yanked off his arm by an invisible Mirage.

S: Mirage actually gets to use his ability today! 

O: What a concept.

S: Yeah.

O: And then Megatron basically runs over and kicks Mirage in the nads in an effort to grab his fusion cannon back from him.

S: No one's having a good day. [Laughter] 

O: [Laughter] No one is having a good day. 

S: And then Megs is then seen across the room, beckoning Soundwave and Starscream to follow him out of their Kool-Aid Man hole. 

O: Soundwave and Starscream clearly don't have any peripheral vision to speak of, you know, like the Autobots, and fly off- not noticing that the real Megatron is still very much in the same room as them and very much still trying to get this fusion cannon back from Mirage.

S: A fusion cannon and tug of war just doesn't seem to go well for anyone.

O: Right! Well, they're doing it from the sides, they're doing the smart thing where I don't think they're pulling on the actual barrel but, you know, while it’s pointed at them but still, yes.

S: Yeah, but yeah, you're right no one has peripheral vision or you know any observational skills. 

O: It was funny, too, when we were watching it, cuz even I was like, how the fuck did he get over there? And I totally thought it was an animation error. [Laughter]

S: I mean, if there was smoke or something you could forgive-

O: Yeah, yeah.

S: There is zero smoke. 

O: Yeah, there's nothing, like, you know, making it harder for them to see or anything. 

S: Yeah, and then Optimus comes in out of stage left, kicking Megatron, you know, in his keister, you know, through a wall. 

O: Megatron retreats. 

S: Now we suddenly cut to an amusement park, complete with carnival music and Ferris Wheels!

O: And after some shots of various carnival sites we are greeted with Bumblebee on the teacups with Spike and Carly.

S: This is, like, super poorly drawn but it's functioning like the teacup ride so I guess that's what we're calling it.

O: We gotta call it something. 

S: Or I think- yeah. Huh. Bumblebee is confused about why the ride is supposed to be fun until Carly, you know, just opens him up and turns off his equilibrium circuits.

O: Why-why does Carly know how to do that? Should I be concerned? 

S: She's a super genius and she is not afraid to, you know, effectively do internal surgery on her robot friends.

O: Ain't that the truth. The three of them seem to have a very full day planned as after they leave at the amusement park they go stop by the airport to pick up Sparkplug and, Oh God, Sparkplug is in a suit!

S: He's in a waistcoat, even! Why was he in a suit? Is he their legal representative? Or, perhaps, is he a more traditional flyer? 

O: [Laughter] Most interesting man in the world? 

S: Let's go with both.

O: Why not, why not? 

S: Spike sees two military jets fly into a hangar and questions why they're at a commercial airport.

O: Completely missing that their paint jobs clearly identify them as Thundercracker and Thrust. 

S: Oh god, maybe- maybe those are weirdly common paint schemes in their universe.

O: That- that would be strange. That would definitely be strange. 

S: It would be. I don't know. So, you know, Spike and company follow the mysterious jets and surprise! Decepticons! How did they even get out of the airport?

O: There wasn't airport security in the eighties, Specs.

S: That’s true.

O: Certainly not like there is now, anyway, besides they have, you know, the best pass in the world: the “My Best Friend is a Giant Alien Robot Pass” since Bee was in the airport with them.

S: Yes, but how did he get through the doors? 

O: Pfft- he got into an arcade, I'm pretty sure an airports no problem. Um, Bee calls Prime for backup but they're still cleaning up their mess at the lab they were out previously and Prime calls headquarters, instead.

S: Oh, they're just playing phone tag. So Optimus reaches Wheeljack and deems it necessary to let the Dinobots out of their baby closet.

O: Grimlock’s not happy about the orders, but Wheeljack asked nicely in his best dad voice and at the airport Bee and the Dinobots are then hiding behind a big passenger jet. 

S: God, Bee is so tiny compared to the rest of them, cuz he really comes up to their knees-

O: [Laughter]

S: But I imagine that the airport staff is having a conniption.

O: [Laughter] I would hope. Bee points to the helpfully labeled “Hangar” in all caps and tells the Dinobots the Decepticons are in there.

S: The Dinobots smash their way into the hangar, and into a bickering Starscream and Megatron. How did the airport staff not realize that-

O: Their entire warehouse or um, ware- it's not a warehouse-

S: -Hangar.

O: -Hangar was being used by evil robots? Who the fuck knows. 

S: Cuz, I mean, oh god, maybe someone was paying rent? 

O: I mean- Soundwave! Soundwave clearly set this up and was like- if we're paying rent, they won't bother us. I wouldn't blame him if that was the conclusion you reached.

S: Same!

O: [Laughter] So Slag proceeds to completely melt one of Starscream’s null-rays. 

S: No one's having a good day!

O: No one is having a good day.

S: Except maybe the Dinobots.

O: They get to destroy things.

S: Yeah. Outside Sludge saves Bumblebee by kicking Blitzwing into a wall.

O: Inside the hangar it gets Looney Tunes up in here with Snarl knocking over some barrels and the Seekers all falling on their faces.

S: That’s super Looney Tunes.

O: It's gonna get more Looney Tunes here in a moment.

S: Yeah. He also hits Rumble into Megatron and then they both fall backwards onto the computer console.

O: And Megatron just tosses Rumble off screen immediately afterwards.

S: I feel if I keep saying no one's having a good day we're just gonna be repeating that a lot so I'm gonna stop. 

O: [Laughter] 

S: Just take it as a given. Thundercracker and Thrust are taken out by Swoop and crash into the hangar, causing it to explode. And then Megatron pulls himself out of the wreckage. and orders an attack.

O: I mean, none of them are having a good day. Megatron's really not having a good day. 

S: Yeah. they’re- None of them are having a good day. At all.

O: The Dinobots have zero trouble with taking out the remaining four Decepticons by themselves because they’re the fucking Dinobots.

S: Yep, and Megatron ends up face-planting onto the floor of the airport terminal after Grimlock picks him up in his, you know, t-rex mouth and tosses him.

O: I mean, seriously, let's break this down: We've got the fusion cannon getting stolen, getting hit by Rumble, a building collapsing on him, and then getting picked up by a giant fucking t-rex! I'm just saying, that's a lot of things to pack into one day! 

S: Well, a few hours.

O: [Laughter] Yeah! Yes! It’s not even been a huge, long length of time. So he lands right in front of Spike and company and then, in the next shot, they're all outside. So did they gain teleporting powers? 

S: Maybe they just walked out the hole?

O: Past the passed out Megatron? That seems like a poor option, even if he is passed out.

S: I don't think some of them have very good survival instincts, ok.

O: [Laughter] Boy, do they not. The Dinobots returned to robot mode and Megatron and Skywarp shoot the passenger jets behind them, causing a massive explosion and sending all the Dinobots flying. 

S: I mean, that is a smart choice considering that, if they were entirely fueled up planes they'd have a hell of a lot of-

O: Fuel? Explosive fuel? Yeah.

S: Yeah. Megatron proclaims victory and not checking that the Dinobots are dead at all. 

O: Inferno, Hoist, and Red Alert show up and Hoist begins moving the Dinobots back to base.

S: By putting them into, like, one of the ruined planes and they tow it.

O: Right. I totally forgot about that.

S: It's- it seems like a really awkward way to transport your wounded.

O: [Laughter] It does, but they are so huge that I kind of understand it. So back in the Ark, Wheeljack, Ratchet, and Hoist are all trying to put the Dinobots back together.

S: And then they all wax poetic about mix- missing Cybertron and complain about the primitive tools they have to use.

O: Didn’t they- Didn’t you make them with those tools, Ratch? 

S: Yeah. Back at the airport, Powerglide is literally shitting bricks while him and Ironhide try to help repair the damage. Unfortunately, they are very bad.

O: It's like the worst building, ever. Grapple destroys it putting the roof on.

S: Did they even put a door in there? 

O: It really didn't look like it. It's funnier because Optimus seems like he's trying to direct Grapple and I want you to please envision Ro- Ron Swanson saying, “I know more than you,” for his response.

S: Yeah. Elsewhere, the Decepticons are all flying in the air before they all suddenly fall to the ground and Rumble and Ravage are both acting super strange. Ravage is running around and Rumble seemingly is not able to control himself and keeps punching Megatron.

O: Megs just sort of bats him away. I think this is, like, time number 4 getting tossed for poor Rumble this episode?

S: Yeah, poor guy’s just kind of a hacky sack. 

O: Little bit. You’re too tiny Rumble, we’re sorry. 

S: Megatron vows to figure out what the fuck is going on before we jet back over to the Ark. 

O: Wheeljack and Ratchet are putting the finishing touches on the Dinobots’ repairs.

S: Optimus calls the Ark and orders the Dinobots to stop the Decepticons who are running amok again. 

O: The Dinobots refuse after getting, you know, exploded last time and tell Optimus the kid-friendly equivalent to fuck off and then walk out.

S: And then Wheeljack and Ratchet have to watch their babies walk away.

O: So sad. The Decepticons are trying to gather Energon from a power plant in order to fix the whole, you know, falling out of the sky thing. 

S: The Autobots arrive and transform, all except for Jazz who seems to be stuck in car mode. And then Ironhide attempts some percussive maintenance and kicks him.

O: Which does, indeed, work and Jazz is able to transform the rest of the way. 

S: Megatron loses his ability to form words mid-sentence.

O: Starscream immediately proclaims himself the leader of the Decepticons before nose-diving right into a pile of Energon cubes. You know, exactly what you would expect to happen. [Laughter]

S: Ahh, things just start to go wrong. Ironhide’s-

O: Very wrong for everyone.

S: Yep, Ironhide’s Swiss Army knife powers have backfired incredibly badly, as this entire body freezes up when he goes to shoot Starscream with liquid nitrogen. 

O: Mirage thinks he has turned invisible but- but then gets beaned by Thundercracker when tried to attack him because he has not, in fact, turned invisible. 

S: Yep. Ravage successfully attacks Optimus before involuntarily transforming into tape mode.

O:  And Optimus just picks up the tape and dumps it into a barrel and I'm like, “You bastard.” 

S: Jazz proceeds to lose his groove and then Blitzwing falls into a hole of his own making. Starscream goads Megatron into action.

O: To which he responds, “If only to spite you!” Which if that doesn't summarize their entire relationship, I don't know what does.

S: True. Starscream takes aim at Optimus with Megatron in gun mode but Megatron's uh, performance leaves quite a lot to be desired.

O: Megatron then orders a retreat but the Cons are unable to fly and instead run away- on foot.

S: Back at the base, the same symptoms that are- the same- condition that seems to be affecting the Cons is also, apparently, affecting the Autobots. They have the same sort of symptoms and- yeah.

O: Optimus can barely stand.

S: And then he collapses into a pose that makes him resemble a giant toddler. It's- not very dignified.

O: No, no it is not. But fear not! Perceptor has it all figured out because, you know, Perceptor is the only Autobot that can do his damn job around here. 

S: Yeah, none of them have been eating their- well, none of them have been eating their leafy greens, effectively.

O: Or, in other words, they're missing an element that is necessary for their function.

S: Said element, of course, can only be found on Cybertron.

O: All the Autobots look worse for wear from all this but Jazz in particular is having a bad time with his bottom half stuck in car mode.

S: And, possibly, upside down. 

O: I- yeah, I can't remember and Powerglide is even missing his head. 

S: Oh dear. Yeah, cuz it's, like, not connected to his body. A headless airman, if you will? Carly and Spike run in and tell Optimus that Shockwave is sending a shipment of the missing element, Cybertonium, to earth.

O: The Autobots are, unfortunately, not in any position to do anything with this information for obvious reasons.

S: But Carly realizes that the Dinobots are still functioning normally, as they were built on Earth. And they don't include-

O: Don't require this to keep functioning, essentially.

S: Yeah, they just weren't constructed with it at all.

O: Yeah.

S: So they use Teletraan 1 to track the Dinobots down and they leave in Carly's car. 

O: Sparkplug jokes about not being sure he remembers how to drive it's been so long since he's had to drive, because they've been with the Autobots for however long.

S: Yeah, so they get there and Grimlock doesn't want to help at first, but thankfully Swoop manages to keep three humans from getting crushed. 

O: He picks up Carly's entire car.

S: That sounds about right.

O: And with a little persuasion the big ol t-rex does ultimately agree to help.

S: The Dinobots arrive at the space bridge and manage to make it past the Constructicons and actually- accidentally end up on Cybertron. I'm kind of wondering if the Constructicons have the same element issue or if they don't.

O: Well, if they showed up later than they presumably haven't been missing it for the past million years. Maybe that's why they were guarding the space bridge.

S: That's true.

O: We're, of course, not told any of this, so I have no idea.

S: And, actually, I'm wondering about the Insecticons, too. But that's neither here or near- neither here nor there, because they are Sirs Not Appearing in this Episode.

O: Yeah, they may not even know and Decepticons maybe didn't even call them. On the receiving end of the Dinobots, poor Shockwave is shocked to get a triceratops suddenly to the face.

S: Sparkplug manages to figure out that the Dinobots are on Cybertron but Grimlock refuses to return to Earth.

O: Carly volunteers to go to Cybertron since the Dinobots aren't in any mood to help. Spike says Optimus will never agree to something so dangerous.

S: Oh, I mean, it's not like Optimus can stop them.

O: In fact, he just sort of falls on his face when he tries. 

S: Yeah. Before they head out, Sparkplug gifts Spike a really lame looking communicator that sort of sticks to his thumb like a band-aid. 

O: Well, Wheeljack isn't exactly up to par right now so, hmm. 

S: Fair. Carly drives her car through Devastator’s legs to get to the space bridge like the goddamn badass she is.

O: And the episode ends with Shockwaves shooting the space bridge door as it opens - to which, join us next time for Desertion of the Dinobots, Part Two.

S: The Dinobots have arrived on Cybertron and they're ready to paint the planet red!

O: And I believe we have some fanfic for today.

S: All right, we have two pieces of fanfiction. We have “Walking with Dinobots” by BlushLouise- BlushLouise?

O: One of those.

S: Yeah. It's in the G1 Cartoon continuity. It's rated G, it's gen, there are no pairings and the characters are the Dinobots and Optimus Prime. So, in summary, “The humans have this show. It's called Walking with Dinosaurs. Until the Dinobots take an interest, that is. Or the many ways a Dinobot can sneak away to join the circus.” And that was just really cute. It’s been a while since I read it but really cute. And so our theme on that is “Dinobots getting to go around and do stuff,” I think.

O: Getting out and about, I believe. 

S: Ah, getting out and about, thank you. And then our second fanfic recommendation is “Wayward” by Im_The_Doctor (Bofur1). It's G1 Cartoon, it's rated G, it's gen, no pairings, and our characters are Wheeljack, Dinobots, and [Chip] Chase. And in summary, “As the Autobots recover from their Cybertonium depletion and readjust to working with the Dinobots (again), only one mech in particular seems to be healing poorly- not just physically but emotionally. Naturally that catches some attention.

S: And again- Dinobots.

O: And both of these are one shots.

S: Yeah, they’re both one shots and the second one I'd originally picked for the second episode but I think it also works pretty well here.

O: And our fan artist for today is Charlotte Cha [Sha]? Cha? Cha [Sha]. They seem to primarily do IDW. They probably have a bit more of- a bit more things than that but that's what I’ve primarily seen they have a ton of to Dratchet stuff. Uh, they've got a zine for their Young!Ratchet/Vet!Drift AU, and I think it's super cute. Today we've linked to that zine. 

S: Yep, I have that downloaded somewhere it's really cute. 

O: Another cuddly Dratchet fanart- of Drift and Ratchet just cuddling. It's very cute. And Tailgate being a complete and total dumbass and Cyclonus being, like, ‘Oh no, I have to protect this tiny idiot.’ It is fantastic. A lot of their stuff I've seen has been more sketchy and they do do other fan art that isn't Transformers related. We will be able to link to their Instagram. They frequently also go by the username VoyVoy or Voyahora, I think, and then their Tumblr is like PrimeADV, so I have no idea and just went with what they have listed I think on their Twitter as the real name so. But I do recommend their stuff! It's super cute and we will be posting links. 

S: Mm-hmm. And that about wraps it up for us today.  Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned.  You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast such as AO3, iTunes, Spotify, and Youtube, just to name a few.  And feel free to send us questions on Tumblr, Youtube, or AO3!  Till next time, I'm Specs.

O: And I’m Owls.

S: Toodles.

[Outro Music]

[cinning-at-midnight]

An Unquenchable Thirst

Le Comte Ikemen Vampire smut fanfic #1

I don't do short fanfics, but here's some more kink for your October fetishes. ...

~~~~~~~~~

Chandeliers swayed overhead, dangling from a cathedral ceiling. The ballroom had a romantic glow, and the guests were all dressed in their finest attire. Hooped skirts and corset bodices spun like teacups on a carnival ride, while men in side-striped trousers and tuxedo jackets held them at an arm's length. The scenery was like a dream, and I observed in awe. 

Le Comte gently reached for my hand, and I looked up at him. The closeness of his face caused me to blush. "May I have this dance?" He asked me, and I felt my mouth run dry as I realized I'd had no dance lessons. Words fell from my mouth as though I were spilling alphabet soup, "Me? Dance? I-I don't think--" 

With the softest touch, Le Comte pressed a slender finger to my lips. "We came all this way, and I did help you find your dress." A teasing look flashed in his honey-colored eyes. I glanced once more between the exquisite ballroom dancers, and the sophisticated man before me. 

"Okay, but I--" before my sentence was finished, Le Comte had me on the dance floor, poised and ready for the next song. When the violinists started the tune for our dance, Le Comte took the lead as if he were waiting for this moment all his life. The corners of his mouth lifted in a smile as I started to twirl around him. 

In spite of myself, I felt overjoyed as Le Comte's hands politely held my waist so he could raise me for a second, leading me into the next turn. My stomach fluttered and a tiny squeak emitted from my lips, as I looked into his golden eyes. I felt for an instant that perhaps I was seeing longing in his expression, as he suspended me in the air. 

When the song ended, I felt my giddiness settle and my body sway at the sudden stop. Le Comte kept his hand on my shoulder, to help me get my balance. "You see? Dancing can be quite fun!" I smiled at him, feeling a tiny bit winded from the excitement. "Thank you for being my partner, Comte." I curtseyed for him, and he gave a low chuckle. "I couldn't deny such a lovely woman the pleasure of a dance." His reply was sweet, but I saw a flicker of sadness. 

Another noble--a vampire, no doubt-- approached Le Comte just then. "My apologies, please take a rest to enjoy the buffet spread." He barely looked me in the eye before walking away with the other man. His departure had me thinking about the conversation I'd overheard between Leonardo and Le Comte a while back. 

~~~

I had not yet learned there would be a ball, and I had been on my way to visit Le Comte when I heard quiet voices in his office. I stood outside the cracked doorway to have a listen. "Comte, you and I both know there are illegal vampires being made." Leonardo sounded calm. "We're starting to get threats in the form of letters and gift baskets, what would happen if cara mia  stumbled upon poisoned food?" 

Le Comte sighed, and I heard footsteps on carpet. "Leonardo, I take the safety of everyone in this mansion very seriously."  I could hear the striking of a match and assumed Leonardo had lit a cigarillo. "Would you help me arrange a ball, as a ploy to gather all of the local elite vampires?" "Of course," Leonardo replied, exhaling a puff of smoke. "Give me an attendance list and I can ensure everyone is accounted for." 

~~~

When I snapped back into reality, it was because a stranger had trailed his fingers along the small of my back. In my hand, I was holding a cracker with cheese. The man had his face inches from mine, and reached for the cracker and put it on a plate amongst the buffet items. "What's a little flower like yourself doing all by yourself?" His eyes were dark navy and as bottomless as the ocean. I caught my breath, "U-um, I'm here with Le Comte." 

I hoped my explanation would earn me an apology, and gain me my freedom. Instead, this strange man smirked at the mention of Le Comte. "Oh, I see, he brought you along to tease the rest of us." I blinked at him, taking several small steps backward. He laughed and extended his hand, grabbing my wrist in his firm grasp. "The name's Victor, but you can call me whatever comes to mind, Princess." 

I felt threatened, by Victor's aggressive hold on me, and by the demeaning tone of voice he was using. I quickly glanced about the room, but nobody was looking our way. I couldn't even see Le Comte. "Come, join me on the balcony. These parties are always so stuffy." He winked, with one ink colored eye locked on me. 

"O-only for a minute, Comte will wonder where I am," I explained. Victor bowed, still holding my hand, "Certainly." He planted one kiss on the back of my hand, and I swear I felt the tip of his tongue mark my hand. Victor and I stood at the doorway to the balcony and I began to panic. Why can't I find Le Comte? I wondered, scanning the crowd. 

Victor was getting impatient with me, and spun me by the waist so I was facing him. His chest was firmly presses against mine and he walked me backwards, pressing my spine into the moulding around the doorway. "Le Comte should know better than to bring someone as delicious as you to a vampire ball." My eyes widened as fangs protruded from the man's mouth. 

He poked his fang lightly, "They're real sharp, you'll only feel it for a second before your body goes into ecstasy." Victor's eyes glazed over with lust. "Then you'll be begging me not to stop." I felt my heart hammering in my chest, and knee-jerked as hard as I could into the man's crotch or stomach. Either one would do. 

I didn't look back as he doubled over in pain. I ran, and several guests watched with concern as I darted across the crowded dance floor. When I stopped, it was because I had missed a step  on my way out of the ballroom and tripped over my dress. A familiar voice called out to me, and when I looked up I realised that Le Comte had been running after me. 

Tears had been falling from my eyes, and I hadn't known until Le Comte approached me, as a blurry image getting closer and closer. "What happened?" He was calm, protective, and swooped me into his arms. I clung to his neck and continued to sob into his skin. It occured to me that I'd likely be getting makeup all over his nice collared shirt, but I only partially cared. 

Comte took me to a room just down the hall from the elegant gala. It looked like a study, and he seemed rather at home as he illuminated the room. I sat on the sofa, dabbing my eyes with a handkerchief. I sniffled when I saw makeup coming away onto the soft fabric. 

"Tell me what happened, angel." Comte pleaded, stroking my hair and wrapping his arms around my waist. I took in a couple of deep breaths, "Th-this guy, Victor, he wanted me to go to the balcony with him." I steadied my breathing and smoothed out the skirt of my dress, "But I couldn't find you and when he got me almost all the way outside, he--" I couldn't finish the words, as tears began to fall onto my dress.

Comte rubbed my back and squeezed me against his chest, "You're safe now, dear, but I do need to know if he hurt you." I sniffled, and let out a hoarse laugh. "No. I hit him with my knee and ran for it." I rubbed my nose once more with my handkerchief. "He did try to bite me, though." I could feel Le Comte's mood shift from behind me, and turned around to face him. 

He was looking down at his lap, with a darkened expression. "Did he-- did he touch you?" I remembered his grip on my wrist and how he held onto my waist. "He was very forceful…" I gently ran my fingers across my wrist and looked at the subtle red markings left there. Comte took one look at my hand and stood up. 

"You have to go back to the mansion, now." Le Comte used a stern tone, but again wasn't looking at me. "I'll be back later. Lock yourself in my room and don't answer the door for anyone." I slowly stood up, and walked toward Comte. "I-I don't understand." I said, reaching for him. He looked at me, and I saw that same sadness in his eyes as earlier. "I knew better than to bring you here, I'm sorry." 

Without another word, Le Comte left the room and seconds later, Leonardo showed up. "It's past your curfew, cara mia, let me ride home with you." I nodded, feeling disappointment welling up inside my chest. If only that song could have lasted forever… 

Back at the mansion, Leonardo guided me towards Le Comte's office as though I'd never seen it before. "Go on inside, lock the door and I will stay out here in case you need anything." I stared at him, all of the giddiness I had felt that evening had faded into a distant memory. "How about an explanation?" I asked him. Leonardo shrugged, "I can't give that to you, cara mia." He flashed me a self deprecating smile. "Go inside, please, or Le Comte will be furious." 

I entered the office, and sat on the sofa by the fireplace. The room was ornately decorated, and I had plenty of time to snoop, but none of the energy. I felt my eyelids grow heavy and started to fall asleep. 

When I awoke next, I was being rocked in someone's arms. Or, so I thought. When I came to, I realized I was being carried down a hallway. I rubbed my eyes and looked up to see Le Comte holding me. His expression was conflicted, possibly vexed, and I felt as though it was best to stay silent. 

At last, he opened a door and I expected to be in my bedroom. However, I was greeted by an unfamiliar king size bed. Delicately, Le Comte rested me on top of the bed spread. I looked at him with unspoken questions. "I'm sorry to wake you; I realize now I didn't specify between my office and my bedroom." Le Comte sat on the edge of the bed, his side facing me. 

Instinctually, I reached out to him. Le Comte looked my in the eyes for the first time since my attack. I pulled him closer, and he hesitated. Instead, I sat up and leaned on his shoulder. "Tell me what's wrong," I pleaded. Le Comte let out a quiet chuckle, as he had said something similar earlier that evening. 

"Victor needed to be questioned for several crimes, including your attack tonight." He explained. I nodded, "Is he creating the illegal vampires you're worried about?" I asked. Comte glanced at me and took my hand in his, "It's possible he is connected." 

I squeezed his hand, "I know you'll catch who is responsible." He gave a fleeting smile in return, "But will you get hurt in the process?" I blinked at him, "I wasn't hurt tonight, so--" Le Comte turned his body, pressing my back into the mattress. His eyes roamed my face, and he smoothed hair out of my face. 

Le Comte's fingers stroked my cheek, then slid down my neck, past my shoulders, and settled on the lacing on the front of my gown. My chest heaved, raising nearly to his face as he watched me breathe. His tongue slicked his lips and I felt a twinge of arousal at the sight. 

With one swift motion, Le Comte gripped the neckline of the bodice, and tore it open so that the fabric hung low past my shoulders and bared my chest to him. My heart pounded in my chest as Le Comte planted tender kisses on all of my exposed skin from the chin downward. 

In a growl, Comte spoke, "The idea of another man sinking his teeth into you brings out the worst in me." I trembled as he lifted my skirts, and tore away my petticoat. Now, only one layer of fabric hung over my legs and Le Comte carefully placed one of my legs over his shoulder. His teeth nipped at my thighs, as he lifted the remaining skirt towards my stomach. 

I started to moan from the anticipation as his face drew nearer to my core. Le Comte gracefully hooked his fingers under the elastic of my underwear and removed them in slow motion. I ached for his touch, and then he pressed his tongue to my heat. My back arched, and I felt as though I was levitating over the bed. Comte began fingering me and my body tensed around him. 

I couldn't keep quiet as his thumb circled my clit, while his other fingers remained inside of me. I thrusted against his hand, and then when  had nearly orgasmed, Comte stopped. He withdrew his fingers and began licking them clean, with his eyes locked on mine. My body yearned for stimulation, and I pouted at him. 

"Don't pout, or else I won't give you what you want," Le Comte teased. I bit my lower lip and whined. He reached down to remove his trousers. Comte slipped down from the bed and I heard fabric fall to the ground. With no warning, he reached for my ankles and dragged me towards the edge of the foot of the bed. His hand furiously worked on his cock before he finally penetrated me, unleashing a loud howling moan from me. 

Comte stood still as my walls adjusted to the full size of his hard member. I whimpered in ecstasy just before he started thrusting inside me again. My breasts bounced with the motions of our love making and Comte gripped my hips so he could thrust deeper each time. 

I was on the brink of orgasm, gripping the bedsheets firmly in both hands. Comte bit into the flesh at the top of my breast, and when the sting faded, I felt an unraveling in my core. Wave after orgasmic wave crashed over me, and I dug my fingers into his hair and bucked hard against him until his orgasm passed as well. 

I shook from my overwhelming orgasm and my legs felt like jelly. Comte climbed onto the bed and reached his arms out for me. In my sleepy state, I crawled toward him and rested my head on his chest, curling my body against his side. "That's my sweet girl," Le Comte said, kissing me on the forehead. 

We would go on to have sex two more times before daylight, and that's how my unquenchable thirst for Le Comte began. 

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: PMMM Rebellion - Part 1

Showtime! Tephi has seen Rebellion now, so I’ve got the all clear to watch it myself. For planning purposes, I’m keeping a list of break points q_3 suggested (14:30, 30:30, 41:30, 54:30, 1:07:30, 1:23:50, 1:33:30) as planned stopping points between posts, barring ragequits. I’ll be watching the DVD, but feel free to follow along on Netflix! Because apparently the movie is on Netflix, as I only recently discovered when I went there to rewatch some Madoka episodes in preparation for this. All right! Time to dive back into the world of Madoka Magica. Puella Magi Madoka Magica: The Movie - Rebellion

Main menu is split between Ribbon!Homura looking off to the left, and the cover art of Magical Girls on the right. Light flute music playing. Black background, a small but bright pink light growing larger in the screen “We are the ones who pray for hope, embrace curses and fight ever onward. We are Magical Girls.” I think this is Homura narrating. Light shows itself as a Soul Gem, as Homura talks about how in obtaining miracles Magical Girls take a “destiny of battle” upon their souls. And that the destiny ends with the “salvation of oblivion”. Off to a cheery start, here! But! “By disappearing from this world, we could escape our fate of despair.” That’d be the change Madoka made, taking MGs away before they Witchified. Now the Gem’s falling through water, to a window? “Someday, that final day will come. As we wait for the Law of the Cycle to lead us away, we continue our unending battle.” Um, is it just me or am I hearing voices in the background? Can’t make out what they’re saying. “In this irredeemable world, forever repeating its tragedies and hatred, I dreamt that I encountered that familiar smile once again.” Camera is now looking over a sprawling city (Mitakihara, right?) at night, lots of shining steel and glass structures. But a series of colorful lines snake through the air putting out lights, then the artstyle starts getting trippy. Silhouettes of ballerinas?

Uh, now there’s a 2D teddy bear/doll thing dancing? Which just spat out a couple of smaller teddy bears and SWEET MADOKA they just blew through a building! The heck? This is clearly a Witch, what with the Labyrinth and wanton destruction and all, but how? Weren’t Witches replaced by Wraiths in the new world? As is, Teddy Doll is now resting to the graceful classical music and looking at the ballerinas Wait is that Madoka!  It’s Madoka! Which… raises so, so many questions. But whatever, just look at her! So cute, shooting her bow into the air… and then frantically dodging the arrow storm. Hmmm, inexperienced Madoka? Teddy Doll runs from the barrage- and is followed by bubble-bouncing Sayaka? Ok, so this has to be an earlier timeline if they are here. Now Kyoko’s joined in the chase! Sayaka and Kyoko both attack Teddy Doll, lovely teamwork between these two, but it slips away from them into a building. Where it sits down at a dinner table? Wait, what’s going on now? There’s a French-style song with an accordion about “dreaming of the morning”, and Madoka just entered with a basket of bread. She’s feeding the Teddy Doll? And Sayaka and Kyoko just came in with more food?

Mami! Artillery Magical Girl is here, with some floating guns and And What the fuck is that thing doing here It’s Dessert Witch, the one that ate her head It’s right behind Mami What the hell Ok, what the hell just happened. Dessert Witch just sat down at the table, there was a huge burst of light as our girls just kept smiling. What is going on? Madoka wakes up? Ah, an odd dream. Wait, are you holding a giant orange Incubator plush? That’s INCUBATOR! GET OUT! That thing is lurking on Madoka’s shelf. Stop acting cute, you freak. I know what you’re capable of. Don’t say “Good morning” to it, Madoka! Cherry tomatoes getting cut? Ah, it’s like the first episode at Madoka’s house! Father gardening, Madoka getting her hungover Mother out of bed. There’s a change in the bathroom dialogue, instead of talking about Hitomi’s love letters it’s about how she’s dating Kyosuke. Well! Isn’t that convenient! Wait, no, this is the show that launched my Ship of Death. Nope nope not pursuing that.

Hey, looks like Madoka already has her Soul Gem in the form of her ring. Confirmation of earlier timeline. Also, Ms. Saotome’s talking about the end of the world in class? She's upset that her students are hooking up while she’s still single? New student transferring to class that day? Hmmm, a certain Mysterious Transfer Student, is it? “I wonder what they’ll be like? I hope we can become friends.” Oh, I have no doubt of that, Madoka. And then the Incubator ruins the mood by showing up. Bleh. Same sweet breakfast scene between the family, Madoka heads out while still chewing her slice of toast. The Incubator hitches a ride on her shoulder, and our Protagonist laughs. Ugh! Stop with the suspense, Urobuchi, looking at Happy Madoka just makes me more and more nervous. A light poppy song comes up, with credits? Intro sequence? Light gloved touches form a tree-shrouded pond, and MG!Madoka strides across the water. Now she’s seated at a carnival teacup ride, as Sayaka and Kyoko spin one of the cups. Daw, they’re on a daFRIENDLY CARNIVAL OUTING BETWEEN FELLOW STUDENTS. Ha, almost got me there, Urobuchi! Homura at the same park at night? Looks up at the sky which is raining white feathers. Madoka walks through a field of flowers next to the amusement park, then through the park hand-in-hand with Sayaka. Now it’s fall (Sayaka is in an adorable beanie and sweater) and they’re joined by Mami. Now it’s winter and Kyoko is chasing Sayaka for withheld food, she trips into Blue-Hair and they tumble to the ground entOH GEE HOPE THEY DIDN’T SCRAPE THEIR KNEES. Whew, too close. Spring again as the four walk up to a white-dress Homura? Homura’s surrounded by gears now, until a hipcheck from Madoka snaps her out of her doldrums and she’s dragged into the amusement park. More flashes of gears, then a carousel where Homura is kneeling and has muted colors, while the other four girls cheerfully dance. Showing how she’s separated from their time? Flashes back to the lake, Madoka extends a hand to help Homura up from her kneeling position. Homura reaches out- Madoka’s hand crumbles to sand? What? Homura’s now in what looks like a desert with stone pillars in the background. Cries? There’s a black earpiece-thing in the sand with a purple gem? And yeah, we end in the desert, the movie’s title coming up.

Well, ok then. I’m completely lost. What does all this mean? Back to the light peaceful music as we repeat the first episode, Madoka meets up with Sayaka- and Kyoko? So she’s going to school with them in this timeline? Quick zooms confirm that the girls have their rings as well, and Sayaka compliments her for her work last night. So they did fight the Teddy Doll? The girls walk into the school, and man the studio got even more animation money for this movie, didn’t they? Lost of students running around, the building looks even more ostentatious that before. Standard Magical Girl chatter about “Oh, I didn’t get the reading done/Meh, I didn’t bother doing the homework, can I copy yours?” Sayaka takes offense to Kyoko trying to copy off of Madoka, they squabble as Madoka tries to play peacekeeper. Even the Incubator pats her head in ‘sympathy’. In class, Teacher’s saying that just because the Mayans were wrong about Doomsday, doesn’t mean that they’re safe! Um. Ok then? Alright, maybe you should take your meds lady. It was bad enough when you wasted class time ranting about your exes, why don’t you do your job. “Well, to be honest… I think perhaps the ending of the world may not be such a bad thing.” Ok really now, you- “After all, I’ve had my fill of dealings with men and love and so forth. If I must carry on this way and have my age rounded up to 40 from now on, I’d rather everything just ended at once, in one fell swoop.” Ah, ok then. Teach’s just having a midlife crisis. Move along, nothing to see here.

Say hello to the Mysterious Transfer Stu- wait. Homura has her glasses and braids? Is this the first timeline, in fact? Even not being so Mysterious, the class all gives a gasp as she enters. And are those blushes I see on our characters' faces? Especially Maodka? Daw, that’s CUTE THAT SHE LIKES WHAT SHE SEES WAIT NO I MEAN IS HAPPY TO SEE A NEW FRIEND. HAH, DODGED THAT ONE. Huh, Homura’s cheerfully saying hi, no hesitation. So not the first one, then. Yup, brushing back her hair she flashes her Ring, our other MGs immediately recognize is for a Soul Gem. Right, this isn’t her first pass so she’s already got her powers. And maybe it’s still early enough she can be happy about the thought of saving Madoka? Now we’re on the roof, apparently Mami already knew about Homura, thought it’d be fun to surprise the other girls. Homura says she should have introduced herself last night, when they were fighting the- Nightmare? Translation change between the show and movie? Mami confirms that she was around last night, and that she has significant power as a Magical Girl. Homura protests that she is more of a support role that anything (still early enough she hasn’t been raiding armories for weapons). Sayaka welcomes the help, as does Kyoko “provided last night wasn’t a fluke”. Madoka grasps her hands, and welcomes her to the team.

All right! Now, what to say about the movie so far? AAAAAAHHHHHH THE DESSERT WITCH IS ALIVE IT IS FOLLOWING OUR GIRLS WHY WHY WHY WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!?! Ahem. So, obviously Dessert Witch being around is a Big Deal. Question is, what does it mean? All the signs are pointing toward this being an earlyish run for Homura, not the second because she didn’t immediately spring to blurt out Madoka’s secret, but early enough that Looping Fatigue hasn’t set in yet, nor has she developed her full combat style. However, now that I think about it I’m not sure all the mentions of Nightmares instead of Witches are translation changes anymore. What we saw of Dessert Witch in the show was an entity that wasn’t that cunning, mostly just focused on eating or destruction like the other Witches. But maybe there was a change this timeline. Maybe this time the Witch is taking a more subtle approach, is tricking or brainwashing our Magical Girls to clear out other Witches under the guise of “hunting Nightmares”. Which brings up some rather stark concerns about where this movie will go. Homura knows the truth, knows what Dessert Witch is and can recognize that something is wrong. So it’s only a matter of time before she rebels (title relevance!) and tries to take it out. But I don’t think the manipulated girls are just going to stand by for that. Hmmm.