#it’s like the radio HE WHISPERS SONGS INTO MY WINDOW IN WORDS THAT NOBODY KNOWS
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carouselofswift · 5 months ago
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if i was taylor and everyone thought the lyric was “cory’s eyes are like a jungle he smiles it’s like the radio” full stop ends there i would lose my mind
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maybankswhore · 1 year ago
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𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆.
SUMMARY: you & jj are sickly in love with eachother. ( inspired from our song by taylor swift. )
PAIRINGS: jj maybank x fem!reader
WARNINGS: possible cursing , tooth rotting fluff.
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“ i was riding shot gun with my hair undone in the front seat of his car. he’s got one hand on the steering wheel , the other on my— heart. ”
John B wasn’t always willing to let JJ take the Twinkie on a whim. He was very protective of what he called ‘his baby.’ But he could only take being aggravated by JJ for so long before cracking— which is what got you sitting in the passenger seat while JJ drove you around the island this Saturday evening.
It was a little past three. The two of you had gotten breakfast , walked the beach , ate lunch— even squeezed in taking out the boat to the marsh. Your cheeks were red from the sun beating down on you , the hot summer air kissing at your skin.
Your hair flew all around you as you leaned against the head rest , letting the wind do whatever it wanted. JJ sat beside you with a peaceful look on his face , resting one hand comfortable on the steering wheel— the other reaching over the center seat to grab your thigh. His ring—clad finger burning at your skin , making your spine feel all ticklish.
“ i look around , turn the radio down he says ‘ baby is something wrong? ’ i say ‘nothing i was just thinking how we don’t have a song. ’ ”
The silence was comfortable as it surrounded the two of you. With the radio playing softly and the wind whipping in your ears , you looked over you shoulder to look at the side of JJ’s face. You couldn’t help your hand from wandering , brushing at the side of his cheek gently. He glanced at you with a smile , letting his cheeks turn a light shade of pink.
You hummed to yourself , a thought popping into your head. Pulling away , you turned the radio down and adjusted your body and seatbelt to fully face him.
The sudden change made JJ look at you curiously , scanning your face for any sign of unhappiness. “Something wrong , sweet girl?”
His nickname for you always made you flush a darker shade of your usual complexion. The reaction making him smirk proudly. “No.” You shrugged. “I was just thinking how we don’t have a song.”
“A song?” He repeated questionably.
“Like a relationship song.” You chuckled. “Like a song that comes on the radio that reminds us of— well us. That makes us get all mushy , gushy and teary–eyed because we’re so in love.” Singing your last couple of words , JJ giggled at you.
JJ thought to himself for a second. “We have our own song.”
You raised an eyebrow at him. “Our own song?”
“Yeah you know—”
“ he says ‘ our song is the slam of screen doors , sneaking out late tapping on your window— when we’re on the phone and you talk real slow , ‘cus it’s late and your momma don’t know. ’ ”
He began talking about the beginning of your relationship and how fun it had been. Coming from different sides of the island , neither of you knew how it would work. You were too afraid to tell your parents , and he was too scared to tell the Pogue’s.
You remembered how you’d dash out the house after school so nobody would ask you questions— screaming “bye” to your mother as you raced down the road where JJ would wait for you either in the Twinkie or on his bike.
Sometimes he’d come after your parents had been to sleep , tapping on your window.
“What in the world are you doing here?” You shouted just above a whisper , holding your light little nightgown to your body whilst looking towards the ground where JJ stood grinning up at you.
“Coming to see you.” He said while holding up a single flower that was clearly from your neighbor. “I haven’t seen you all day and I missed you.”
You couldn’t help the smile that danced its way onto your face as you looked at him , shaking your head in disbelief. “If you get caught , you’re dead meat.” If your parents had heard him— a Pogue of all people outside your house at 12am , it wouldn’t be anything nice.
JJ only shrugged. “It’ll be worth it if you come down for just like a second and kiss me.”
Biting your bottom lip hesitantly , his hopeful face was too hard to refuse. “Give me two seconds.”
The memory caused butterflies to swirl in your stomach. The feeling you had got then , still so real now. His boyish charm had always drew you in.
“Remember when you’d call me and you didn’t want John B to hear you so you just mumbled into your headphone microphone the whole time?”
“I can barely hear you.” You sighed into your phone. Wincing at how loud it sounded when JJ shifted even slightly in his bed.
“’m sorry. I just miss your voice but JB has thin walls. He’ll hear me without ‘em.” JJ sighed , trying his best not to breathe too harshly.
Smiling softly , you nodded your head before remembering he couldn’t see you. “I know , just wish we didn’t have to sneak like this.”
“We won’t always.” JJ reassured you. “After I meet your parents , you’ll meet the Pogue’s.”
“Yeah.” You grinned to yourself. “And I can kiss you wherever I want.”
They were so long ago. Those sweet , little memories. It all seemed like forever since then. You two were just two teenagers love , sneaking kisses whenever you could— your heart beating as fast as it possibly could by just thinking about him. You couldn’t get enough of being with him , your mind always thinking of him and wondering when you’d see him again. You remembered how sick your friends would get after hearing you go on and on about him , whispering all the sweet nothings to your girlfriends about your ‘semi–secret’ relationship.
Perching forward , you couldn’t help but kiss JJ’s cheek gently. “Do you even know how much I love you?” You asked him , wrapping your arms around his neck. The seatbelt hurt your hips just a bit , but being as close as you could to JJ triumphant it.
“I don’t know—” he teased , a loud laugh bubbling from the back of his throat. His genuine laugh always making something spark inside of you. “Yeah , sweet girl. I do.” JJ nodded and let his head fall to the side , resisting the urge to flutter his eyes closed at the soft touch of your fingers in his scalp. “I love you back.”
His words made you melt , falling into him. The air that wrapped around the two of you was light hearted and sweet. JJ’s head held high as he proudly drove you around , passing by random strangers. He’d wave at them with the biggest smile before pointing at you , mouthing “Right?”
JJ’s antic sending you into a fit of giggles each time while you swatted at his arm stubbornly.
“I don’t think there’s any song out there that could describe how obsessed I am with you—” JJ blurted out. “’cus I swear I’m gonna marry you one day.”
Beaming at your boyfriends words , you held onto him tighter. “I can’t wait.”
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lilacjaemin · 1 month ago
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highway to heaven
pairing: dongyoung x gender neutral reader
genre: fluff
word count: 677
summary: “pull over, let me drive for a while.”
a/n: inspired by #1 from 100 ways to say i love you and highway to heaven <3 also if you'd like some music to listen to while reading or while on your own nighttime drive, here’s my night drives playlist!!!!
the warm glow of the yellow lights lining the highway started to look fuzzy as you coasted along. dongyoung’s thumb brushed the back of your hand in rhythm with the mellow song on the radio. he sang along, the combination the motion of the car, his soft skin and his sweet voice tugging at your eyelids.
“when you told me you had a road trip playlist i assumed the whole thing would be upbeat,” you said through a yawn, “these songs are making me sleepy.”
“my daytime road trip playlist is upbeat,” he laughed, “this is the night time drive playlist.”
“you have too many playlists.” 
“first of all, they set the mood. second of all, it was your idea to leave at midnight!” he squeezed your hand.
“nobody’s on the roads at night, we’d get there so much faster.” you whined, shaking your head to wake yourself up.
“i know you didn’t sleep last night, you were so excited you almost kept me up too. and you've been bouncing around all day.”
you glanced at the clock. 3:02 am.
“are you not excited? a week at a gorgeous beach house on the coast, just the two of us, finally.” you sighed.
“of course i am,” he bit his lip to keep from smiling too hard, “it’ll be heaven.”
you rubbed at your eyes, those yellow lamp posts blending together once again as you flew down the highway. you opened the windows to get some air in your face, doyoung’s singing getting louder over the sound.
you felt alive. the excitement seeping in again, blurry lights zooming by, cold wind nipping at your skin, and doyoung’s palm against yours.
he alternated between slower ballads --serenading you with a water bottle microphone-- and more lively songs, dancing in his seat.
after an hour of wind swept hair and drowsy giggles, you closed the windows and settled back down.
you yawned and stretched your back, “we’re only a couple of hours away now.”
“pull over at the next rest stop, let me drive for a while.”
“baby it’s okay, if you just keep putting on faster songs i can-”
he leaned over and pecked your cheek, letting his lips linger, causing your eyes to flutter shut for a moment.
“oh yeah, you need to let me drive.” he laughed, sitting back in his seat. 
“no fair,” you pouted, “you can’t just surprise me like that.” 
you pulled into the dimly lit rest stop, doyoung running in to grab you both coffees. 
you sunk down into the passenger seat, pulling doyoung’s jacket from behind you across your lap as a blanket. you focused on the scent of his cologne swirling around the car and the guitar chords floating through the speakers.
doyoung arrived back at the car with two iced coffees in his hands. he knocked on the window and waited, but squinted and peeked through the glass when you didn't roll it down. he saw your sleeping figure curled up, ran around to the driver’s side and slipped in as quietly as he could. 
he put your drinks in the cup holder, lowered the radio and looked over at you. the way the red and white neon lights of the rest stop’s sign illuminated you. the way one of your hands was clutching his jacket to your chest and the other was strewn across the console, waiting to be held. the way your hair still looked a little wild around your face.
he couldn't help himself. he carefully balanced himself on his elbow and pressed a featherlight kiss to the corner of your mouth. he watched your features subconsciously smooth out into a sleepy smile and swore he could feel his heart melting in his chest.
“i lied,” he whispered against your temple, “this is heaven. you are heaven.”
“sweet dreams,” he let his fingertips graze over some of the exposed skin of your thigh, “we��ll be there soon.”
he gently intertwined your fingers in his, sipped a bit of coffee, and pulled back out onto the highway.
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bradshawsbaby · 2 years ago
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afternoon delight
pairing: rhett abbott x girlfriend!reader
author’s note: this idea has been rolling around in my head for a while, and all the recent lew content has given me the push i needed to finally write it. i’ve been in a bit of a rut with my writing lately, so i’m just glad to be able to get this out of my system!
warnings: 18+ for explicit sexual content (semi-public sex and nearly getting caught), language, a healthy dose of fluff
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Nothing was more boring than working the afternoon shift at your parents’ general store.
Well, maybe that wasn’t exactly true.
Nothing was more boring than working the afternoon shift at your parents’ general store alone.
At least when Moira or Kayla shared a shift with you, there was time for some idle chitchat and laughter. But it was a few weeks yet before the spring semester was over and the girls would return home from college for the summer, so today you were on your own.
And you were bored.
It wasn’t that nobody in Wabang visited the store in the early afternoon hours, but there was definitely a lull in the already slow activity once lunchtime rolled around. Most people in town headed home around noon for a quick snatch of respite and sustenance. That, or they headed to The Handsome Gambler for a liquid lunch. Either way, their minds certainly weren’t on buying a new shovel or a few cans of paint.
So the store remained virtually empty as the bright afternoon sun reached its zenith in the wide open sky, and you were left dusting the already clean shelves for what felt like the hundredth time since you’d arrived. Your parents would have been there working with you, but they’d taken a drive to visit one of their suppliers.
“You’ll be alright on your own for a few hours, won’t you, sweetheart?” your mama had asked before she and your dad left.
It was a rhetorical question and you both knew it. Besides the fact that your parents were already well aware there’d be hardly any customers in their absence, you’d also grown up in the store and knew how it operated like the back of your hand.
“I’ll be fine, Mama,” you assured her, waving as they headed out the door. “See ya’ll later.”
And you were fine. You were just so bored you thought you might lose your mind.
Tapping your fingers absentmindedly on the countertop near the register, you glanced down at where your phone sat, silent and still. You’d toyed with the idea of calling Rhett and asking him to come keep you company, but you knew that wasn’t fair. He had a lot to do on the ranch, especially at this time of year, and he couldn’t afford to play hooky just to keep you entertained at work. Besides, he’d already promised to take you out to dinner tonight. As much as you missed him, you knew you’d just have to be patient.
Huffing out a decidedly impatient breath, you stepped over to the ancient radio your father had refused to part with and fiddled with the knobs until you landed on a radio station you were satisfied with. At least now the silence in the store wouldn’t feel so deafening. You couldn’t help but grin as a new song began, the mildly familiar tune swirling in the warm air, among the dustmotes and beams of light spilling in from the large glass windows at the front of the store. You didn’t even know the name of it, but you knew it had been playing on the radio the other night when Rhett took you out to go stargazing, the two of you lying in the bed of his truck and lazily pointing out various constellations in between whispered words and slow kisses.
Your mood brightening considerably at the memory, you began humming softly under your breath as you decided to take the time you had to yourself to restock some of the shelves in the back of the store. Stepping into the back room, you grabbed a new box full of deodorant and shampoo and dragged it towards one of the shelves along the back wall. You were so focused on lining the shelves in the orderly manner your mother had taught you that you were caught off guard by the sound of the front door opening, the small bell tinkling to announce the arrival of a customer.
“I’ll be right with you!” you called out, your back to the entrance of the store as you reached for the last couple bottles of strawberry-scented shampoo. You smiled to yourself when you remembered the time Cecilia had come in and bought a whole case of it at a discounted price. Rhett had smelled like strawberries for over a month. Not that you minded one bit.
So caught up in the vividness of that memory were you that you didn’t register the heavy footfalls making their way down the aisle until a familiar pair of muscular arms were snaking their way around your waist and the stubbled face you loved more than anything was pressing against yours.
“Mmm, and what if I’m in a hurry and too impatient to wait for you up there, huh?” Rhett’s husky voice whispered low in your ear, sending an involuntary shiver down your spine as his lips ghosted over your cheek.
“Rhett!” you gasped in surprised pleasure, dropping the shampoo bottle you’d been holding without a backward glance as you turned around and faced your boyfriend head on. He looked exceptionally rugged and handsome in his Stetson and Wranglers, the sleeves of the plaid shirt he was wearing rolled up to the elbows, revealing his sunkissed forearms, the ones that made you feel so safe whenever they were wrapped around you.
“Heya, honeybee,” he grinned in that way that had you mentally pinching yourself to remind you that he was real and not just a figment of your wildest dreams. Pushing his hat back with one calloused finger, he lowered his head to plant a slow, lingering kiss on your lips.
“What are you doing here?” you breathed out once he finally pulled back, your eyes half-lidded and your brain feeling a little fuzzy.
“Now what kind of greeting is that when I drove all the way out here to see you?” Rhett teased, reaching out and resting his hand on the shelf behind your head so that he was leaning over you slightly.
You smirked in return, not minding at all the close proximity of his hard, muscled body. “Do Royal and Perry know you’re sneaking off like this?” you asked with a chuckle, one of your fingers trailing lazily along the buttons on his shirt.
“My mom had to take Amy to a doctor’s appointment, so I told them I’d drive into town and pick up some lunch,” he explained, running a hand down your bare arm. You’d worn one of your favorite sundresses today—one that just so happened to be Rhett’s favorite, too—which left your arms and a good portion of your chest exposed to your boyfriend’s hungry gaze. Food clearly wasn’t the only thing on his mind. “I think they figure I’ll be a little while,” he added with a suggestive wink, which made your cheeks grow warm instinctively.
“Hmm, and I was just thinking to myself how lonely things were getting around here. You’ve got some timing, Abbott,” you grinned, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and pulling him down to you, kissing him deeply.
Rhett responded in kind, a low groan escaping his mouth as his arms wrapped around you and he pressed you tightly to his chest. As the kiss grew more intense, his tongue snaking out to brush against your bottom lip and beg entrance into your mouth, the two of you stumbled backwards, your back slamming up against the shelves you’d just been painstakingly restocking and upending an entire row of men’s deodorant, sending them crashing to the floor.
With low moans of both yearning and frustration, the two of you broke apart and glanced down at the mess you’d made.
“I’ll clean it up later,” you panted with an indifferent shrug of your shoulders, your lips seeking his once more.
“Damnit, honeybee,” Rhett moaned as you bit down gently on his bottom lip, his hands reaching up to play with the straps of your sundress. “You just had to wear this of all things?” he murmured, his voice thick and husky with want.
“Thought you’d like it for dinner tonight,” you whispered, smiling against his mouth.
He threw his head back slightly, which granted you access to his exposed throat. “Like it right now,” he ground out, his fingers running through your hair as you nipped and sucked on his neck. “Fuck, baby, I need you. Right now,” he practically growled, holding you closer so that you could feel just how intense his need was.
“Not here,” you told him, glancing over his shoulder. “Someone might walk in.” You could feel his heart thrumming in his chest, could hear the unsteady rhythm of his breathing. Your own heart was beating wildly, your body aching with just as much need as his. “Come help me with something in the back,” you told him with a mischievous grin, taking his hand and leading him into the back supply room, making sure to close the door firmly behind you.
It wasn’t a huge room, but it felt even smaller with Rhett standing in it, his large, powerfully built frame the only thing your eyes could focus on.
His gaze was fixed on you as well, his blue eyes blazing as he looked at you. He only broke eye contact for a moment to glance around the room, a smile curving his lips as his eyes darted back to your face.
“Never imagined we’d be fooling around in here, honeybee,” he murmured, his pulse racing at the very notion of taking you in the back of your parents’ store, a store which anyone from town could walk into at any moment.
“Do you not want to?” you asked, chewing on your bottom lip and twisting your hand in the folds of your dress.
“Oh, make no mistake, baby,” Rhett rasped, stepping closer to you. “I want to.” His eyes were serious as he suddenly wrapped his hands around your hips and lifted you up onto the wooden worktable that sat behind you, spreading your legs so that he could step between them. “I want to,” he said again, burying his fingers in your hair as he kissed you like a starving man.
“We don’t have a lot of time,” you breathed out, rubbing your body against his and kicking your sandals off so that they fell to the floor. “Someone could—I mean anyone might—”
“Honeybee, trust me,” he cut you off, resting his forehead against yours. “The way you got me goin’, I don’t need much time.”
You mewled softly in response, turned on by his words as he lowered his head to kiss you once more. You were desperate to run your fingers through his hair, but his hat was in the way. Moaning softly against his lips, you reached up and tugged it off his head. For a moment, you considered dropping it next to you on the table, but then a better idea struck you. Smirking slightly, you dropped his hat right on top of your head, feeling the way his body went taut beneath your palms.
“Honeybee,” he grunted, his work-roughened fingers digging into your waist through the fabric of your dress. “You’re really determined to make me lose my damn mind, aren’t you?”
“Come on, cowboy,” you whispered teasingly, your tongue flicking out against his lower lip. “Clock’s ticking.”
Your words seemed to flip some kind of switch in his mind because suddenly he was pulling you to the edge of the table, his hands less than gentle as he shoved your dress up, bunching it around your waist. Slipping his hand between your legs, he pushed your panties to the side and swiped two fingers up your slit without preamble.
“Fuck,” he panted under his breath, his head falling forward to lean against your shoulder. “Already soaking wet for me, honeybee,” he moaned, pressing a kiss to your bare skin just to the right of your dress strap.
You just gasped out his name in response, your arms tightening around him, which spurred him to slip both those fingers inside you, curling them against your spongy walls in a way that had you struggling to catch your next breath.
“Rhett,” you whimpered, burying your face in the crook of his neck as his fingers pumped in and out of you at a relentless pace. He smelled like sweat and sun and the Wyoming earth. He smelled like Rhett. And there was nothing that aroused you more.
“Sh, sh, I got you, baby. I’m gonna take care of my girl,” he murmured softly, peppering your temple and the side of your face with kisses.
“Need you,” you gasped, fisting your hand in the front of his plaid work shirt. “Need you inside me. Now,” you begged, your pulse racing in your veins as the temperature in the back room steadily climbed.
Rhett didn’t put up any argument, his fingers sliding out of you as he reached for the waistband of your panties and tugged them down your legs, leaving the soft scrap of fabric dangling around your ankles, all while you reached for the belt at his waist, unbuckling it with lithe fingers before making quick work of the button and zipper of his jeans.
“Damn, honeybee, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you move so quickly. Like lightning,” Rhett chuckled hoarsely, pressing a sloppy kiss to your mouth.
“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” you laughed breathlessly, helping him tug down his jeans and his boxers just enough so that he could free himself from their constraints. He was thick and hard and ready, but he pumped himself a few times for good measure before lining himself up against your entrance.
“You alright, baby?” he asked, stroking your cheek with his free hand. He knew you were usually used to more foreplay than this, and he didn’t want to hurt you.
“Mhm,” you nodded, cupping his face in your hands to reassure him. “Please, baby,” you mouthed against his lips.
Within seconds, he was buried deep inside you, your fingers tangled in his hair and your legs locked around his waist as he began rocking his hips back and forth in an increasingly frenzied rhythm.
It was messy and sloppy and chaotic, and you loved every minute of it. You cherished the moments of slow lovemaking that you and Rhett shared, when he worshiped every inch of your body and took his time giving you more pleasure than you ever could have thought possible. But you also loved these wild and crazy moments, when the two of you were so overcome by your animalistic need for each other that your bodies came crashing together in a way that was so uncontrolled and frantic and perfect because it was yours.
“Rhett,” you moaned, your voice high-pitched with pleasure. “Rhett, Rhett, Rhett,” you cried, tugging on his hair and panting against his ear, your words tumbling out in concert with the sound and rhythm of his thrusts.
“Right here, honeybee,” he gasped out, lacing his fingers through yours as he reached for one of your hands. “I’m right—oh, yeah. Oh, shit, baby. Shit, shit, shit,” he grunted as his movements became more frenetic and out of sync.
You knew he was close. So were you.
“Rhett! Baby, I’m—”
“Sweetheart?”
Everything came to a crashing halt as the sound of your mother’s voice suddenly pierced your consciousness. Your back stiffened immediately and your eyes went wide with horror.
“Rhett!” you whispered frantically, your boyfriend still rutting inside you.
You could tell from the way his head had shot up in alarm that he could hear your mother, too, but he was too far gone now. You both were, and neither of you knew how to stop.
You heard your mother call out your name, louder this time. “Are you here, honey?”
Terrified of what your voice would sound like when you called out to her, you first made sure to clamp a hand over Rhett’s mouth, trying to keep him as silent as possible.
“Y-yes, Mama!” you called out, breathing through your nose to keep from screaming out in pleasure as Rhett continued to pound away, hitting your most sensitive spot. “I’m in the back!”
Rhett’s forehead screwed up in concentration and you felt him take your fingers into his mouth, which sent your eyes rolling into the back of your head in ecstasy.
“Are you okay? Do you need help?” your mother asked. It still sounded like she was near the front of the store.
“No!” you practically shouted, eyes widening once more. “I mean, um, I’m okay! I’ll be out in a m-minute,” you announced, your legs starting to tremble violently.
Burying your face in Rhett’s shoulder, your hand still clamped firmly over his mouth, you rocked your hips against his at an almost violent pace, desperate to drive the both of you over the edge.
You could feel him tense up, caught his gaze as he looked at you, his blue eyes almost hazy from the high of his pleasure. Wordlessly, the two of you stared at one another as, seconds apart, you came undone, your mouth open in a silent scream as your climax tore through you. You could feel the warmth flooding you as Rhett reached his finish as well, his chest heaving as you continued to hold your hand against his lips.
Your mother called your name again as Rhett’s lips met yours in a searing kiss, one that robbed you of any breath you might have had left.
“Just a minute, Mama!” you called, hoping you didn’t sound as lightheaded as you felt.
“God, I love you,” Rhett whispered, holding you close to his chest as he stroked your back slowly.
“I love you, too,” you whispered in return, leaning against him for support.
Knowing you were short on time, he pulled back reluctantly to reach for your panties, sliding them back up your legs and securing them in place. He pressed the fabric against your entrance, knowing it was liable to get messy when you stood up. He dropped a kiss on your forehead before stepping back to adjust his pants, buckling his belt as quietly as possible.
“Grab that box off the shelf,” you instructed him, sliding off the table and adjusting your dress. “There’s no way Mama isn’t going to see you, so we’ll just tell her you were helping me get some things from back here.”
Rhett shot you a mildly skeptical look, but did as you told him, pulling a large box off a high shelf.
Just as you were about to open the door, however, he suddenly hissed. “Honeybee! My hat!”
Gasping, you quickly pulled off his Stetson and dropped it back on his head, grateful that he was paying more attention than you were.
When you and Rhett finally stepped back into the store, your mama looked over and raised a surprised brow.
“Hi, Mama,” you chirped with an overly bright smile. “Rhett just stopped by on his lunch break and offered to help me get some boxes from the back,” you offered before she could even ask.
“Ma’am,” Rhett nodded respectfully, his cheeks turning bright red.
Your mama glanced from you to your boyfriend, then to the back of the store, and back again. You felt your heart plummet inside your chest. Your mother wasn’t a stupid woman. And you weren’t a very good liar.
“Thank you, Rhett,” was all she said, glancing down at the cash register. “Always such a good boy.”
“Of course, ma’am. Um, thank you,” Rhett stammered sheepishly, unable to meet your mother’s eye.
“Um, well, shouldn’t you get going, baby? I’m sure your daddy and brother are getting hungry, waiting on you to bring home lunch,” you said, shooting him a pointed look.
“Oh, yeah,” Rhett nodded, blue eyes widening slightly. “You’re right about that. I best be off. I’ll see you tonight, honeybee,” he told you, pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek. Turning towards your mother, he tipped his hat in deference before hurrying out the front door.
As soon as the door slammed shut behind him, your mother turned to look at you, eyebrows arched.
You swallowed nervously, wanting nothing more than for the earth to devour you whole.
“Just be glad, little missy, that it was me and not your daddy who came back early,” your mama said, shooting you a knowing look before pulling out the ledger from underneath the counter. “Now can you go pick up that deodorant that’s all over the floor?”
“Yes, Mama,” you nodded, your mortification complete as you slowly walked towards the back of the store.
As you walked, you felt your phone buzzing in your dress pocket. Pulling it out, you saw it was a text from Rhett.
Sorry, honeybee 😬😘
Smiling despite yourself, you tapped out a quick message in response.
You’ll just have to make it up to me tonight 😉
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64yrsold · 2 years ago
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you know where the city is
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a bit different today! we're doing write anything that you want to week with @imightgetbetter <3 today's theme is early matty, so i decided to write about hearing "the city" on the radio for the first time :-) hope you all enjoy! - love, 64
I watched his hands jump over each other on the steering wheel, driving us around another winding curve. It was almost a spectacle, watching the light expose his bare arms, travel up his black t-shirt and crawl up his neck, then disappear before it could illuminate his mouth. Then he’d be covered in darkness again, until we reached the next street lamp.
“You can drop me home, if you’d like,” I offered, turning down the radio so he could hear me.
“Come on, stop it,” he frowned, glancing over to me, “We can stay out as long as you want.”
“I think my parents-“
“They’re fine,” he interrupted, reaching a hand to squeeze my knee, “They like me, don’t they?”
“Maybe not after tonight,” I quipped, rolling the window down. The air here always felt like a childhood memory, like after-school walks and first kisses. I liked the way it blew against his curls, frizzing the ends. He pushed a few strands behind his ear.
“I’ll get you home soon,” he sighed, hand firmly planted against my thigh, “Just wanted to show you one thing.”
"Oh, are you surprising me?" my voice wavered with excitement. He nodded, bottom lip wet as he smiled.
"I was out driving with the guys-"
"I don't want to know," I said quickly, earning a boyish giggle.
"No, it was very innocent, babe. I'm behaving, I promise," he stated, but his grin said otherwise. He looked at me from the corner of his eye, finding me unconvinced, "Whatever, I'll just show you."
"You boys need to focus on the band," I scolded, fingers tracing his cuticles.
He scoffed, "You know how committed I am."
"Mhm," I hummed, "You're very good, you know."
"I know," he half-joked. His palm opened around the steering wheel as he turned a corner. Trees were thick on either side of the road, the pavement transitioning to gravel.
"Where the fuck are we going," I whined, "Is this where you finally murder me in the woods?"
"Yeah, I've got the axe in the back," he nodded, slapping my thigh playfully. The radio was cutting out, fizzling with static as we drove further into the wooded area. I changed the station, trying to find one that was intelligible. We approached a clearing, and I switched the station once more, hand frozen when I heard a familiar punctuated bass drum. He slammed on the brakes. I lurched forward, hand against the dash.
"Is this..." I paused, staring at him with parted lips. He threw the car in park, tangling his hands in his hair.
"Holy shit," he whispered, stars in his eyes, "Holy shit!"
"What the fuck!" I yelled, grabbing him by the shoulders.
"What the fuck!" he returned, jaw hanging open. I could see the tears rimming his waterline, and he quickly covered his face with his hands. "I sent this song to every fucking station I know, but nobody got back to me, I-" He interrupted himself with a guttural scream. I screamed back at him, the car reverberating with his voice on the radio.
He dropped his hands to my neck, searching my face wildly. My face was aching from my splitting grin, my pulse crawling up my ears.
"This is it," I mumbled, tears stinging behind my eyes, "This is really it."
"I can't fucking believe it," he cried, grabbing my jaw and pulling my mouth to his. He laughed against my lips, emotions swirling between us. He kissed every unspoken word into my mouth, and I could taste the excitement like pennies on my tongue. He pulled back to scream the chorus, and I joined him, chanting the words wholeheartedly. I dropped my head on his shoulder, finding a sky of milky stars mirroring the faint lights of the city below.
"Don't forget me when you're all rich and famous," I whispered, wrapping my fingers around his.
"Couldn't if I tried, love," he smiled, "How could I ever forget this?"
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now-that-i-saw-you · 9 months ago
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Thinking about how music is such a big theme on Debut.
She opened her debut album and her entire career by name-dropping one of the biggest singers in the Country music scene. It's such a clever move because a song called Tim Mcgraw is sure to draw the attention of the crowd she's aiming for. The song presents the idea of "music as a lifeline" that's all over her discography . It's a bittersweet letter to a lover, asking to be remembered, something that is so common in Taylor's music (Wildest Dreams comes to mind). But she's not only asking her lover to think of her when he thinks of Tim Mcgraw, she's also asking the listener to do it. What a bold move it is to say to people when you think about the famous country singer, think about the young girl who dreams to be just as big (and will be bigger).
Teardrops On My Guitar is an even better example of "music as a lifeline" because it's about how writing music helps her cope with heartbreak. She compares the person she loves to a "song in the car I keep singing don't know why I do". Music is so important in her life that the highest compliment she can give someone is by comparing them to a song. Or by comparing his voice (or smile?) to the radio.
A Place in This World doesn't directly mention music but the song's about looking for her place in the industry.It's the pipline from the optimism and uncertainty of this song to the confidence in Fifteen to the contemplation and "what ifs" of 'tis the damn season and Midnight Rain and the parallels between A Place In This World and You're On Your Own, Kid. For Taylor, making music is the only natural order of things.
Mary's Song walked so folklore could run. The song blurs the line between what's real and what's fantasy. How much of the song is what Mary said and how much is just Taylor daydreaming about real love? The fact it's called Mary's Song and not Mary's Tale or something like that. Songs are a tool to tell a story, songs are also used to make wishes and manifesting a "true love"
Songs are like love letters, they're a form of courtship. The song that truly captures the spirit of the album is Our Song because it focuses on her creating the song. She hears music everywhere! He whispers songs into the windows in words that nobody knows, she hears music in the way he laughs and when reminiscing on their first date and the slamming doors and late-night conversations on the phone. When a partner ruins their relationship the first thing she lists the absence of is songs (Should've Said No).
Now I really hope Debut (Taylor's Version) will include Writing Songs About You.
But speaking of The Tortured Poets Department, I think it will bring this theme back and expand on it. Music is her truth! It's her evidance, her lifeline.
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not---meat · 8 months ago
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Paradise: Chapter 12: Falling To Pieces
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Pairing: Javier Peña x McKenzie Martel
Rating: A - Adult
Warnings: Angst, domestic violence, domestic abuse
Summary: Javier takes Kenzi home.
Note: I apologize in advance for any historical inaccuracies. We are in the mid to late 90's now woooo. Officially after the events of season 3 of Narcos!
MASTERLIST --- PARADISE MASTERLIST
Steam rose from the coffee cup between her hands. A mind so troubled, it drifted away from her, wandering off into the depths of her being as shye waited for him to speak. To say something. Anything. McKenzie knew the peril that he was facing. She had seen it on his face the moment he saw her. The way that he reacted when she winced away from his touch.
They sat in silence for a while, his eyes scanning over her, taking in the bruises, taking in the split in her lip and her tear stained cheek.
"I don't understand, Kenz." He whispered, "How did you let it go this far?"
The emotion in his voice told the story of the heartbreak he felt. Seeing her this way was hurting him and she knew it. She knew that, if she were a better person, she shouldn't have called. At the end of the day, though, he was still her person. Her Cradle to Grave. There was nobody else that she could call.
"Kenz…" He spoke again, reaching out to her, touching her hand and trying to grab her attention. "Kenz, it's okay. I've got you."
Slowly, ever slowly, her eyes flickered to him, flickered about his face. Somehow Javier still looked the same. Somehow he had left and come back the same as she remembered. Yet there was something different in the way that he spoke to her. Something deeper, more compassionate. More caring. As if his words had more meaning to them.
Tears rolled from her eyes and she looked out the window of the diner once again. There was nothing that she could say, no explanation to be made.
"I love her." McKenzie spoke, her voice soft, broken and cracking, "I love her and… I - I thought she loved me."
Deep brown eyes filled with emotion stared over at her, meeting hers when they flickered back into his direction. Javier didn't say another word. A sigh passed his lips as he pulled out his wallet and left money on the table. He stood from his spot and walked over to her, offering her his hand.
"Come on, hermosa, let's take you home." Javier spoke, taking her hand into his. She stood, looking up at him with wide eyes. "To the ranch. Not to her. I won't let her hurt you again, Kenz. Never again. I made a promise to be there and I'm going to be there."
Kenzi opened her mouth to argue but Javier stopped her, shaking his head. He led her back to the truck, helping her into the passenger seat.
There was silence when they sat in the truck together. The both of them recalling the emotions, the memory of the last time she was sat beside him. The rain feeling too familiar to the both of them as it pinged off the cab of the truck.
Like a brutal reminder of the past. A horrific scene that brought them back to when she walked away from him.
Please don't leave me like this.
You don't have to love me back.
White knuckles folded around the steering wheel, hardly moving as he drove down the road. The radio played a song that Kenzi didn't recognize. Something about being broken. Kind of perfect. Not a word was spoken, letting the soft guitar ring out between them. Javier seemed to know the song, his grip on the steering wheel relaxing slightly as he tapped along to the beat of the gentle tune.
Kenzi just stayed quiet, occasionally glancing his way as he drove down the pavement road leading to the ranch. It was Javier who spoke first, ending the silence between them with a barely audible, low whisper that was almost drowned out by the sound of the rain pinging against the cab of the truck.
"I'm sorry."
He didn't look at her, his gaze still fixed ahead of him as he leaned back in his seat.
"This is my fault. I shouldn't… Fuck. I shouldn't have left. I should have fought for you." Javier breathed, finally looking over at her, sadness reflecting in his big, brown eyes. "I'm sorry, Kenz. I'm so fucking sorry."
Words escaped her. Instead of saying a word, Kenzi just closed her eyes. She leaned against the seat and breathed out. The throbbing in her eye had gotten worse.
She just wanted to sleep. She just wanted to forget. The events of the night having taken their toll, McKenzie just wanted to curl up and let her dreams take over.
Noticing her silence, Javier let out a sigh. He unlocked the truck doors and slid out, shutting the door behind him. As Kenzi pulled off her seatbelt and moved to open the door, Javier was already there, opening the door for her, offering her his hand to help her out of the truck. Doing the things he had always done before but now they seemed like they meant more. Like he meant more.
It almost felt as though his touch had gotten more tender, as if the reasoning behind his actions meant more than they did before. Or maybe McKenzie was reading too deeply into it. At the end of the day his actions hadn't changed. Javier had always opened the door for her. He had always taken her hand and helped her out of the truck. This wasn't a new thing and yet, for reasons unknown to Kenzi, it felt like it meant more now. More loving. More tender. It wasn't just a friendly touch anymore. It was something more.
Unspoken words that, had they been revealed long ago, could have changed the trajectory that their lives had taken and yet now they just hurt. Broken hearts. Broken friendships. Yet Javier was still there, still keeping up his promise. Kenzi still called him even though she knew she had no rights to do so. Javier still showed even though he knew he had no rights to still love her.
But he did. He still loved her and she still loved him.
Not that it mattered anymore. Not that any of it mattered anymore. Too much had happened now and Kenzi wasn't in the right state of mind to let anything else happen. She hadn't spoken. She didn't know what to say.
Wordlessly, Javier led Kenzi into the house. He led her through the front door and helped pull her jacket off of her. He hung it up to dry and held her hand as she stepped out of her shoes. Kenzi watched him, noticing the small things he did. Noticing the way he made sure that her shoes were set to the side to dry, that the shoelaces were undone so they didn't crust up and dry in the tied position that they were in. She noticed how gentle his touch was when he led her throughout the house, walking past Chucho without a sound, knowing that a conversation with him could happen later.
Javier led her to his bedroom and let her sit on the edge of the bed. He kneeled in front of her and helped her out of her soaked jeans, tossing them into the hamper. Not a word was spoken between them. Not a sound made. He did everything she needed him to do, even helping her get into some of his pajamas.
All Kenzi could do was watch, tears slowly rolling down her cheeks. How was it that she deserved him? After all that he had done, after all that she had done, after all of the bitter words and hatred passed between the two of them. How was it that he still cared for her?
Almost as if he had read her mind, Javier took her hand in his. He reached forward and ever gently wiped her tears with her thumb, smearing the wetness across her cheek and being careful not to allow the salty tear to touch the cut over the bone.
"I care about you, McKenzie. Nothing has changed. You're still the person I care about the most." Javier whispered to her, squeezing her hand gently. "You need to sleep, Kenz. Get comfortable, okay?"
He stood from the bed, glancing back at her before leaving the room. All Kenzi did was stare, her eyes flickering around his bedroom. Frames pictures of his life scattered about the walls and the surfaces, almost all of them including her. Smiling faces and shimmering eyes. Life was simpler then. Easier. Out of them all, though, one stood out the most.
Without even thinking about it, Kenzi stood and walked to his dresser, picking up the picture that she didn't even know existed. It was of them, of course, sitting in Chuchos livingroom.
A box of pizza in front of them, his arm around her, her head on his shoulder, with Javier looking up as Kenzi sat with her eyes closed.
"That was the night after grad." Javiers voice rang through the doorway, a glass of water in his hand. "We had just gotten back from the grad party. Your date had ditched you so I spent the night with you listening to music. You were drunk and falling asleep. I had to carry you to bed."
Kenzi nodded slowly, setting the picture frame back down where she found it. "I barely remember that night."
"I know."
"I didn't know this picture was taken."
Javier chuckled, the hint of a smile on his lips, "I know that, too. You were falling asleep. Chucho took it. We got some old films processed and… well there it is." Javier handed her the glass of water and an ibuprofen, "For your head. I don't doubt its going to hurt and swell tomorrow. I can take you to the clinic tomorrow."
Kenzi took the pill and popped it in her mouth, she used the water to wash it down and handed him the empty glass. "Thanks. I should… probably go home tomorrow, though. I don't want to make things worse than they already are."
Javier frowned slightly, clearing his throat. "Why don't you sleep on it, Kenz. We can talk about it tomorrow. Do you… need anything else?"
"No. No I should be alright, thank you." McKenzie offered him a small smile before making her way back over to the bed. She sat down on the edge of it, wrapping her arms around herself as she stared up at Javier. "Are you sure you're okay with me sleeping in here? I… I don't mind sleeping on the couch."
Javi pursed his lips slightly, shaking his head. He walked over to her and lifted her chin with his finger. "You get sleep. You need sleep. You've never slept on the couch here and tonight is not the day that you will start. You sleep in the bed. No arguments."
McKenzie stared up at him for a minute, eyes flickering about his face as she took in his words. "Okay." She whispered, "Okay. Just… Get rest. Get good rest."
Javier smiled softly, gently booping her nose before pulling away. He walked over to the door and leaned against the doorway for a moment, looking in at McKenzie as she slid onto the bed and pulled the blanket over herself.
"Cradle to Grave, Kenz." He murmured, flicking of the light, "No matter what."
NEXT CHAPTER
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arrestmebobbygoren · 2 years ago
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Queer Theory Song Analysis: 'Stay Beautiful' by Taylor Swift
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There is much literature written on the male gaze, and the fact that the camera lens has historically (and usually in the hands of male directors) reduced female subjects to mere objects of male sexual desire. Sometimes this will present like a Bond film, where the female characters exist primarily for Bond’s (and the audience’s) enjoyment and only secondarily to advance the plot. Other times, this will look more like a perfume add, where we will see a model’s neck, breasts, hands, legs, feet in stilettos – each presented in a disembodied way to obscure her humanity in order to sell a fantasy. 
And while the male gaze is both a product and perpetuator of the patriarchy, it also has some basis in biology; research suggests that human brains identify women ‘locally’ (from their individual body parts) but recognize men ‘globally’ (as a whole rather than as a sum of their parts). Exhibit A: the linked article.
What I have always found interesting about Taylor’s music is the way that she (or, more generally, the singer, if she is singing from ‘the male perspective’) will embody the male gaze by reducing the subject of her songs to a series of body parts. The result, whether she intends it or not, is to position the listener so that we are consuming her song subject in the same way that society might have us consume its female muses – beautiful body part by beautiful body part. 
[Verse 1]
Cory's eyes are like a jungle
He smiles, it's like the radio
He whispers songs into my window
In words that nobody knows
There's pretty girls on every corner
They watch him as he's walking home
Saying, "Does he know?"
Will you ever know?
Here, in Verse 1, we encounter the shimmering mirage known as Cory. We cannot know him, as he does not exist as a three-dimensional person with hopes and dreams and agency. Instead, we must infer him -- the argumentative, antithetical dream girl that he is – from his eyes, his lips, and from the desire he arises in us. He is wanted, but he does not want. Or perhaps, it is because he does not want, that he is wanted. 
[Chorus]
You're beautiful, every little piece, love
Don't you know you're really gonna be someone?
Ask anyone
And when you find everything you looked for
I hope your life leads you back to my door
Oh, but if it don't
Stay beautiful
And as if to give words to the male gaze, the chorus loses all sight of a differentiated ‘Cory’, instead evoking a feast of drumsticks and thighs. We are now vibrating with the collective hum of desire, consuming beautiful pieces of flesh until we are satiated and content to only ogle from afar. 
[Verse 2]
Cory finds another way to be
The highlight of my day
I'm taking pictures in my mind
So I can save them for a rainy day
It's hard to make a conversation
When he's taking my breath away
I should say, "Hey, by the way"
The second verse tries to resume focus on Cory, but our dream girl is so ethereal that we cannot even capture her on film. Rather, she lives entirely in our mind’s eye, where we can masturbate to the idea of her, but never have to engage with her messy humanity. 
[Chorus]
You're beautiful, every little piece, love
Don't you know you're really gonna be someone?
Ask anyone
And when you find everything you looked for
I hope your life leads you back to my door
Oh, but if it don't
Stay beautiful
By the time we arrive back half of the song, we finally see the truth for what it is. The male gaze does not long for a partner or an equal. It exists to subjectify. It longs to objectify. It lives to consume. 
[Bridge]
If you and I are a story
That never gets told
If what you are is a daydream
I'll never get to hold, at least you'll know
And it constantly requires parts. It requires parts, so it can assemble and consume and re-assemble, a little differently this time, and re-consume, and re-assemble, differently again. Rinse. Repeat. 
[Chorus]
You're beautiful, every little piece, love
Don't you know you're really gonna be someone?
Ask anyone
And when you find everything you looked for
I hope your life leads you back to my front door
Oh, but if it don't
Will you stay beautiful, beautiful, beautiful?
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
All of this is to say that Taylor objectifies her song subjects in the same manner that society – and our brains – objectify women. What this suggests about the true gender of her muses, well, I suppose that is for Taylor to know and us to merely deduce.
[Outro]
La-la-la
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh, but if it don't
Stay beautiful, stay beautiful
Na-na-na, na-na
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taylorswiftandx · 2 years ago
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Taylor Swift and My
Note: huge thank you to @meandmypagancrew who collaborated with me on the lyrics for this post!
'Taylor Swift'
Tim McGraw: He said the way my blue eyes shined put those Georgia stars to shame that night
Tim McGraw: When you think Tim McGraw, I hope you think my favorite song
Tim McGraw: Think of my head on your chest and my old faded blue jeans
Tim McGraw: In a box beneath my bed is a letter that you never read
Picture To Burn: State the obvious, I didn’t get my perfect fantasy
Picture To Burn: Watch me strike a match on all my wasted time
Picture To Burn: I’m just sitting here planning my revenge
Picture To Burn: My daddy’s gonna show you how sorry you’ll be
Teardrops On My Guitar: He’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
Teardrops On My Guitar: The only one who’s got enough of me to break my heart
A Place In This World: I’m alone, on my own, and that’s all I know
A Place In This World: Got the radio on, my old blue jeans and I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve
Stay Beautiful: He whispers songs into my window in words that nobody knows
Stay Beautiful: I hope your life leads you back to my door
Stay Beautiful: Cory finds another way to be the highlight of my day
Stay Beautiful: I’m taking pictures in my mind so I can save them for a rainy day
Stay Beautiful: It’s hard to make a conversation when he’s taking my breath away
Stay Beautiful: I hope your life leads you back to my front door
Should’ve Said No: You shouldn’t be begging for forgiveness at my feet
Mary’s Song (Oh My My My): Our mamas smiled and rolled their eyes and said oh my my my
Mary’s Song (Oh My My My): Just two kids, you and I, oh my my my my
Mary’s Song (Oh My My My): You stayed outside ‘til the morning light, oh my my my my
Mary’s Song (Oh My My My): I’ll still look at you like the stars that shine in the sky, oh my my my
Our Song: I was riding shotgun with my hair undone in the front seat of his car
Our Song: He’s got a one-hand feel on the steering wheel, the other on my heart
Our Song: Got to the hallway well on my way to my loving bed
I’m Only Me When I’m With You: Everything I need is right here by my side
I’m Only Me When I’m With You: And I don’t try to hide my tears, my secrets, or my deepest fears
'Fearless (Taylor's Version)'
Fearless: You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless
Fearless: I don’t know why but with you I’d dance in a storm in my best dress, fearless
Fearless: My hands shake, I’m not usually this way
Love Story: I close my eyes and the flashback starts
Love Story: And my daddy said, “Stay away from Juliet”
Love Story: My faith in you was fading when I met you on the outside of town
Love Story: Is this in my head? I don’t know what to think
Hey Stephen: The way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name
White Horse: My mistake, I didn’t know to be in love you had to fight to have the upperhand
White House: That was a small town, there in my rear view mirror disappearing now
You Belong With Me: I’m in my room, it’s a typical Tuesday night
You Belong With Me: Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
Breathe: I see your face in my mind as I drive away
Breathe: You’re the only thing I know like the back of my hand
Tell me Why: Why do you have to put down my dreams so you’re the only thing on my mind?
Tell Me Why: You ask me for my love then you push me around
You’re Not Sorry: Could’ve loved you all my life if you hadn’t left me waiting in the cold
The Way I Loved You: All my single friends are jealous
The Way I Loved You: He opens up my door and I get into his car
The Way I Loved You: He respects my space and never makes me wait
The Way I Loved You: He’s close to my mother, talks business with my father
The Way I Loved You: My heart’s not breaking ‘cause I’m not feeling anything at all
The Best Day: It’s getting cold, I’ve got my big coat on
The Best Day: I’m thirteen now and don't know my how friends could be so mean
The Best Day: God smiles on my little brother, inside and out he’s better than I am
The Best Day: I know you were on my side even when I was wrong
Jump Then Fall: I like the way I can’t keep my focus
Untouchable: I wanna feel you by my side standing next to me
Come In With The Rain: I’ll leave my window open
SuperStar: I’d be breaking all my rules to see you
SuperStar: I can’t take my eyes off of you
SuperStar: Give me a photograph to hang on my wall, superstar
SuperStar: When my world wakes up today you’ll be in another town
The Other Side Of The Door: I said leave, but all I really want is you to stand outside my window throwing pebbles
The Other Side Of The Door: Me and my stupid pride are sitting here alone
The Other Side Of The Story: All I want is you to stand outside my window throwing pebbles
Today Was A Fairytale: I can feel my heart, it’s beating in my chest
Mr. Perfectly Fine: Mr. I’ve been waiting for you all my life
Mr. Perfectly Fine: Forgets he ever even heard my name
Mr. Perfectly Fine: I’ve been picking up my heart, he’s been picking up her
We Were Happy: You threw your arms around my neck
That’s When: You watched me go and I knew my words were hard to hear
Don’t You: My heart knows what the truth is
Don’t You: So I’ll walk out of here tonight, tried to go on with my life
Bye Bye Baby: The rain didn’t soak through my clothes down to my skin
Bye Bye Baby: Bye bye to everything I thought was on my side
Bye Bye Baby: All the pages are just slipping through my hands
'Speak Now (Taylor’s Version)'
Mine: There’s a drawer of my things at your place
Mine: You learn my secrets and you figure out why I’m guarded
Mine: You say we’ll never make my parents’ mistakes
Sparks Fly: My mind forgets to remind me you’re a bad idea
Sparks Fly: I’m on my guard for the rest of the world
Sparks Fly: I’ll run my fingers through your hair and watch the lights go wild
Back to December: So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying, “I’m sorry for that night”
Back to December: And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
Back to December: I’d go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
Back to December: But this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying, “I’m sorry for that night”
Speak Now: There’s the silence, there’s my last chance
Speak Now: I’ll meet you when I’m out of my tux at the back door
Speak Now: Baby, I didn’t say my vows
Dear John: Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you
Dear John: Counting my footsteps and praying the floor won’t fall through, again
Dear John: My mother accused me of losing my mind, but I swore I was fine
Dear John: Maybe it’s me and my blind optimism to blame
Dear John: You’ll add my name to your long list of traitors who don’t understand
Mean: You have knocked me off my feet again
Mean: You have pointed out my flaws again
Mean: I walk with my head down, trying to block you out ‘cause I’ll never impress you
The Story Of Us: I used to know my place was the spot next to you
The Story Of Us: See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy
The Story Of Us: How I was losing my mind when I saw you here
The Story Of Us: I liked it better when you were on my side
The Story Of Us: But I would lay my armor down if you’d say you’d rather love than fight
Never Grow Up: Your little hand’s wrapped around my finger
Never Grow Up: So here I am in my new apartment in a big city
Never Grow Up: So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on
Enchanted: And now I’m pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door
Enchanted: My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again
Haunted: Oh, holding my breath, won’t lose you again
Haunted: Oh, holding my breath, won’t see you again
Haunted: He will try to take away my pain
Last Kiss: Your name, forever the name on my lips
Last Kiss: I roll my eyes and then you pull me in
Last Kiss: I love your handshake, meeting my father
Long Live: I said, “Remember this moment” in the back of my mind
Long Live: I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you
Long Live: When they point to the pictures, please tell them my name
Long Live: I had the time of my life with you
Ours: But right now my time is theirs
Ours: The jury’s out, but my choice is you
Ours: And any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos will be ignored ‘cause my heart is yours
Electric Touch: I’ve got my money on things going badly
Electric Touch: All I know is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life
Electric Touch: I’ve gotten used to no one calling my phone
I Can See You: I’ve been watching you for ages and I spend my time trying not to feel it
I Can See You: You won’t believe half the things I see inside my head
I Can See You: And I could see you being my addiction
Castles Crumbling: They used to cheer when they saw my face
Castles Crumbling: And I feel like my castle’s crumbling down
Castles Crumbling: And I watch all my bridges burn to the ground
Castles Crumbling: Crowds would hang on my words and they trusted me
Castles Crumbling: Power went to my head and I couldn’t stop
Castles Crumbling: My foes and friends watch my reign end
Castles Crumbling: Smoke billows from my ships in the harbor
Castles Crumbling: Used to chant my name, now they’re screaming that they hate me
Castles Crumbling: My castle’s crumbling down
Foolish One: My cards are on the table, yours are in your hand
Foolish One: You give me just enough attention to keep my hopes too high
Foolish One: And I will block out these voices of reason in my head
Foolish One: And it’s delicate, but I will do my best to seem bulletproof
Foolish One: ‘Cause when my head is on your shoulder, it starts thinking you’ll come around
Foolish One: Now I’m sliding down the wall with my head in my hands
Foolish One: And the voices in my head are telling me why
Foolish One: And maybe I will finally learn my lesson
Timeless: And something in my head said stop, so I walked in
Timeless: In another life, you still would’ve turned my head
Timeless: I had to smile when it caught my eye
Timeless: And you’ll say, “Oh my, we really were timeless”
'Red (Taylor's Version)'
State Of Grace: You’re my Achilles heel
Red: Moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head
Red: That’s why he’s spinning ‘round in my head
Treacherous: I hear the sound of my own voice asking you to stay
Treacherous: Your name has echoed through my mind
All Too Well: And I left my scarf there at your sister’s house
All Too Well: Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze
All Too Well: Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well
All Too Well: I’d like to be my old self again, but I’m still trying to find it
All Too Well: Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone
All Too Well: But you keep my old scarf from that very first week
All Too Well: Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all
I Almost Do: In my dreams, you’re touching my face
We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me
Stay Stay Stay: I threw my phone across the room at you
Stay Stay Stay: But you carry my groceries and now I’m always laughing
Stay Stay Stay: You took the time to memorize me, my fears, my hopes, and dreams
Stay Stay Stay: It’s been occurring to me, I’d like to hang out with you for my whole life
The Last Time: Put my name at the top of your list
The Last Time: You break my heart in the blink of an eye, eye, eye
The Last Time: You find yourself at my door
The Last Time: This is the last time I let you in my door
The Last Time: This is the last time I’m asking you why you break my heart
Holy Ground: Back when you fit in my poems like a perfect rhyme
The Lucky One: ‘Cause now my name is up in lights but I think you got it right
Everything Has Changed: All I’ve seen since eighteen hours ago is green eyes and freckles and your smile in the back of my mind
Everything Has Changed: And all my walls stood tall, painted blue
Everything Has Changed: And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies
Everything Has Changed: Meet me there tonight and let me know that it’s not all in my mind
Everything Has Changed: All my days I’ll know your face
Starlight: I said, “Oh my, what a marvelous tune”
Begin Again: Turn the lock and put my headphones on
Begin Again: You pull my chair out and help me in
Begin Again: And we walked down the block to my car and I almost brought him up
The Moment I Knew: I’ve got my eye on the door, just waiting for you to walk in
The Moment I Knew: As I comb back through my memory, how you said you’d be here
The Moment I Knew: And it was like slow motion, standing there in my party dress
Come Back… Be Here: I told myself, “Don’t get attached,” but in my mind I play it back
Girl At Home: Call a cab, lose my number, you’re about to lose your girl
Girl At Home: Call a cab, lose my number, let’s consider this lesson learned
Ronan: I can still feel you hold my hand, little man
Ronan: You were my best four years
Better Man: I know I’m probably better off on my own
Better Man: And I know why we had to say goodbye like the back of my hand
Better Man: Push my love away like it’s some kind of loaded gun
Better Man: I gave to you my best and we both know you can’t say that
Nothing New: Lord, what will become of me once I’ve lost my novelty?
Nothing New: How long will it be cute, all this crying in my room?
Nothing New: When you can’t blame it on my youth and roll your eyes with affection
Nothing New: And my cheeks are growing tired from turning red and faking smiles
Message In A Bottle: You could be the one that I love, my love
I Bet You Think About Me: You laughed at my dreams, rolled your eyes at my jokes
I Bet You Think About Me: I bet you think about me when you say, “Oh my god, she’s insane, she wrote a song about me”
Forever Winter: My voice comes out begging
Forever Winter: Live my life scared to death he’ll decide to leave instead
Forever Winter: My voice comes out screaming
Run: And my so-called friends, they don’t know
Run: There’s been this hole in my heart
The Very First Night: My friends all say they know everything I’m going through
All Too Well (10 Minute Version): All I felt was shame and you held my lifeless frame
All Too Well (10 Minute Version): I’m in a new hell every time you double-cross my mind
All Too Well (10 Minute Version): You, who charmed my dad with self-effacing jokes
All Too Well (10 Minute Version): The punchline goes, “I’ll get older, but your lovers stay my age”
All Too Well (10 Minute Version): From when your Brooklyn broke my skin and bones
All Too Well (10 Minute Version): Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there
'1989 (Taylor’s Version)'
Blank Space: Oh my god, look at that face, you look like my next mistake
Blank Space: Grab your passport and my hand
Blank Space: Keep you second guessing like, “Oh my God, who is she?”
Out Of The Woods: Your necklace hanging from my neck
Shake It Off: Got nothing in my brain, that’s what people say
Shake It Off: It’s like I got this music in my mind saying, “It’s gonna be all right”
Shake It Off: I never miss a beat, I’m lightning on my feet
Shake It Off: I’m dancing on my own, I make the moves up as I go
Shake It Off: My ex-man brought his new girlfriend, she’s like, “Oh my god”
I Wish You Would: Windows down, you pass my street, the memories start
I Wish You Would: It’s 2AM in my room
I Wish You Would: You always knew how to push my buttons
I Wish You Would: See your face, hear my voice in the dark
Bad Blood: Still got scars on my back from your knife
Bad Blood: Time can heal but this won’t, so if you’re coming my way, just don’t
Wildest Dreams: My one condition is, say you’ll remember me
Wildest Dreams: His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room
Wildest Dreams: My last request is, say you’ll remember me
This Love: Your kiss, my cheek, I watched you leave
This Love: Your smile, my ghost, I fell to my knees
I Know Places: You stand with your hand on my waistline
I Know Places: Just grab my hand and don’t ever drop it, my love
Clean: Hung my head as I lost the war and the sky turned black like a perfect storm
Clean: When the butterflies turned to dust that covered my whole room
Clean: Let the flood carry away all my pictures of you
Clean: The water filled my lungs, I screamed so loud but no one heard a thing
Wonderland: Didn’t you calm my fears with a Chesire cat smile?
You Are In Love: Pauses, then says, “You’re my best friend”
You Are In Love: And why I spent my whole life trying to put it into words
New Romantics: It’s poker, he can’t see it in my face but I’m about to play my ace
New Romantics: Please take my hand and please take me dancing and please leave me stranded
“Slut!”: Got love-struck, went straight to my head
“Slut!”: Got lovesick, all over my bed
“Slut!”: Adorned with smoke on my clothes
“Slut!”: Everyone wants him, that was my crime
Say Don’t Go: I hold my breath a little bit longer
Now That We Don’t Talk: I call my mom, she said that it was for the best
Now That We Don’t Talk: I call my mom, she said to get it off my chest
Now That We Don’t Talk: And the only way back to my dignity was to turn into a shrouded mystery
Suburban Legends: You had people who called you on unmarked numbers in my peripheral vision
Suburban Legends: I was always turning out my empty pockets and when it came to you
Suburban Legends: You’d me more than a chapter in my old diaries with the pages ripped out
Suburban Legends: I broke my own heart ‘cause you were too polite to do it
Suburban Legends: You don’t knock anymore and my whole life’s ruined
Suburban Legends: And my life had been ruined
Is It Over Now?: You dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor
Is It Over Now?: Was it over when he unbuttoned my blouse?
Is It Over Now?: Your new girl is my clone
Is It Over Now?: At least I had the decency to keep my nights out of sight
Is It Over Now?: Only rumors about my hips and thighs and my whispered sighs
Bad Blood (feat. Kendrick Lamar): My TLC was quite OD, ID my facts (ID my)
Bad Blood (feat. Kendrick Lamar): It was my season for battle wounds
Bad Blood (feat. Kendrick Lamar) Still, all my life, I got money and power
'reputation'
…Ready For It?: Younger than my exes but he act like such a man, so
…Ready For It?: In the middle of the night, in my dreams, you should see the things we do
…Ready For It?: In the middle of the night, in my dreams, I know I’m gonna be with you so I take my time
…Ready For It?: We’ll move to an island and, and he can be my jailer
End Game: You love it, I love it too, ‘cause you’re my type
End Game: You hold me down and I protect you with my life
End Game: Both sprung, I got issues and chips on both of my shoulders
End Game: For all my flaws, paranoia, and insecurities
End Game: With four words on the tip of my tongue, I’ll never say it
End Game: I can’t let you go, your hand prints on my soul
End Game: You’ve been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks so here’s the truth from my red lips
I Did Something Bad: I can feel the flames on my skin, crimson red paint on my lips
I Did Something Bad: I can feel the flames on my skin, he says, “Don’t throw away a good thing”
I Did Something Bad: But if he drops my name then I owe him nothing and if he spends my change then he had it coming
Don’t Blame Me: Lord, save me, my drug is my baby
Don’t Blame Me: I’ll be using for the rest of my life
Don’t Blame Me: For you, I would cross the line, I would waste my time, I would lose my mind
Don’t Blame Me: My name is whatever you decide
Don’t Blame Me: Echoes of your name inside my mind
Don’t Blame Me: Halo, hiding my obsession
Don’t Blame Me: I’d beg you on my knees to stay
Don’t Blame Me: Trip of my life, oh, every time you’re, every time you’re touching me
Delicate: My reputation’s never been worse so you must like me for me
Delicate: Phone lights up my nightstand in the black
Delicate: Is it chill that you’re in my head?
Delicate: Long night with your hands up in my hair
So It Goes…: All eyes on you, my magician
So It Goes…: Gold cage, hostage to my feelings
Gorgeous: You’ve ruined my life by not being mine
Gorgeous: You should think about the consequence of you touching my hand in a darkened room
Gorgeous: Guess I’ll just stumble on home to my cats
Getaway Car: The light of freedom on my face
King Of My Heart: I’m perfectly fine, I live on my own
King Of My Heart: I made up my mind, I’m better off being alone
King Of My Heart: We rule the kingdom inside my room
King Of My Heart: King of my heart, body and soul
King Of My Heart: Change my priorities, the taste of your lips is my idea of luxury
King Of My Heart: My broken bones are mending with all these nights we’re spending
Dancing With Our Hands Tied: My, my love had been frozen deep blue
Dancing With Our Hands Tied: I could’ve spent forever with your hands in my pockets
Dancing With Our Hands Tied: Darling, you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis
Dress: My hands are shaking from holding back from you
Dress: My hands are shaking from all this
Dress: Say my name and everything just stops
Dress: Carve your name into my bedpost
Dress: You kiss my face and we’re both drunk
Dress: Flashback when you met me, your buzz cut and my hair bleached
Dress: Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me
Dress: Flashback to my mistakes, my rebounds, my earthquakes
Dress: Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me
Dress: My one and only, my lifeline
Dress: My hands shake, I can’t explain this
This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: So why’d you have to rain on my parade? I’m shaking my head and locking the gates
This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: You stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand
This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: Here’s a toast to my real friends, they don’t care about the he said, she said
This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: Here’s to my baby, he ain’t reading what they call me lately
This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: Here’s to my mama, had to listen to all this drama
Call It What You Want: My castle crumbled overnight
Call It What You Want: My baby’s fit like a daydream
Call It What You Want: My baby’s fly like a jet stream
Call It What You Want: All my flowers grew back as thorns
Call It What You Want: I’m laughing with my lover, making forts under covers
Call It What You Want: Starry eyes sparkling up my darkest night
Call It What You Want: I want to wear his initial on a chain ‘round my neck, chain ‘round my neck
Call It What You Want: I recall late November, holding my breath
New Year’s Day: You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi
'Lover'
I Forgot That You Existed: Lived in the shade you were throwing ‘til all of my sunshine was gone, gone, gone
I Forgot That You Existed: In my feelings more than Drake, so, yeah
I Forgot That You Existed: Your name on my lips, tongue-tied, free rent living in my mind
I Forgot That You Existed: Got out some popcorn as soon as my rep started going down, down, down
Cruel Summer: Every night that summer just to seal my fate
Lover: You’re my, my, my, my lover
Lover: With every guitar string scar on my hand, I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover
Lover: My heart’s been borrowed and your has been blue
Lover: Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover
Lover: You’re my, my, my, my, oh you’re my, my, my, my, darling you’re my, my, my, my lover
The Man: What I was wearing, if I was rude could all be separated from my good ideas and power moves
The Man: If I was out flashing my dollars, I’d be a bitch, not a baller
The Archer: I cut off my nose just to spite my face then hate my reflection for years and years
The Archer: All of my heroes die all alone
The Archer: All of my enemies started out friends
I Think He Knows: He got my heartbeat skipping down 16th avenue
I Think He Knows: I want you, bless my soul
I Think He Knows: I want you, bless my, I want you bless my, I want you bless my, I want you bless my soul
I Think He Knows: Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh
Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: Now I’m feeling hopeless, ripped up my prom dress
Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: I saw the scoreboard and ran for my life
Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: No cameras catch my pageant smile
Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: It’s you and me, that’s my whole world
Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: My team is losing, battered and bruising
Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: Leave with my head hung, you are the only one who seems to care
Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: No cameras catch my muffled cries
Paper Rings: Three times cause I waited my whole life
Paper Rings: In paper rings, in picture frames, in all my dreams
Cornelia Street: Jacket ‘round my shoulders is yours
Cornelia Street: I packed my bags, left Cornelia Street before you even know I was gone
Cornelia Street: You hold my hand on the street, walk me back to that apartment
Cornelia Street: Sacred new beginning that became my religion, listen
Death By A Thousand Cuts: The morning comes and you’re not my baby
Death By A Thousand Cuts: I dress to kill my time, I take the long way home
Death By A Thousand Cuts: My heart, my hips, my body, my love
Death By A Thousand Cuts: Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand
Death By A Thousand Cuts: My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust
Death By A Thousand Cuts: I get drunk but it’s not enough ‘cause you’re not my baby
Death By A Thousand Cuts: My body, my love, my trust
London Boy: We can go driving in, on my scooter, ah, you know, just riding in London
London Boy: I love my hometown as much as Motown, I love SoCal
London Boy: He likes my American smile, like a child when our eyes meet
Soon You’ll Get Better: The buttons of my coat were tangled in my hair
False God: The altar is my hips, even if it’s a false god
You Need To Calm Down: Snakes and stones never broke my bones so
You Need To Calm Down: Like, can you just not step on my gown?
You Need To Calm Down: You’re coming at my friends like a missile
Afterglow: Hey, it’s all me, in my head
Afterglow: Tell me that we’ll be just fine even when I lose my mind
Afterglow: Tell me that it’s not my fault
ME!: You ran after me and called my name
It’s Nice To Have A Friend: Lost my gloves, you give me one
It’s Nice To Have A Friend: Something gave you the nerve to touch my hand
It’s Nice To Have A Friend: Call my bluff, call you “babe”, have my back, yeah, everyday
Daylight: My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in
Daylight: And I can still see it all in my mind
Daylight: And I can still see it all in my head
'folklore'
The 1: If my wishes came true, it would’ve been you
The 1: In my defense, I have none
Cardigan: Hand under my sweatshirt, baby, kiss it better
Cardigan: You drew stars around my scars but now I’m bleeding
Cardigan: I knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs
Cardigan: You’d be standing in my front porch light
Exile: You’re not my homeland anymore, so what am I defending now?
Exile: You were my town, now I’m in exile, seeing you out
Exile: You were my crown, now I’m in exile seeing you out
Exile: Never learned to read my mind
My Tears Ricochet: ‘Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you, ‘til my dying day
My Tears Ricochet: Cursing my name, wishing I stayed, look at how my tears ricochet
My Tears Ricochet: You can aim for my heart, go for blood, but you would still miss me in your bones
My Tears Ricochet: And when you can’t sleep at night, you hear my stolen lullabies
My Tears Ricochet: Cursing my name, wishing I stayed, you turned in your worst fears
Mirrorball: Hush, when no one is around, my dear
Mirrorball: You’ll find me on my tallest tip-toes, spinning in my highest heels, love
Mirrorball: But I’m still on my tallest tip-toes, spinning my highest heels, love
Mirrorball: The masquerade revelers drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten
Seven: I hit my peak at seven
Seven: Cross my heart, won’t tell no other
August: Your back beneath the sun, wishing I could write my name on it
August: And then canceled my plans just in case you’d call
This Is Me Trying: Pulled the car off the road to the lookout, could’ve followed my fears all the way down
This Is Me Trying: They told me all of my cages were mental so I got wasted like all my potential
This Is Me Trying: My words shoot to kill when I’m mad
This Is Me Trying: Fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here
This Is me Trying: Pouring out my heart to a stranger but I didn’t pour the whiskey
This Is Me Trying: You’re a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town
Invisible String: You ate at my favorite spot for dinner
Invisible String: Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire, chains around my demons
Invisible String: Cold was the steel of my axe to grind for the boys who broke my heart
Mad Woman: Do you see my face in the neighbor’s lawn?
Mad Woman: Now I breath flames each time I talk, my cannons all firing at your yacht
Mad Woman: I’m taking my time, taking my time, cause you took everything from me
Betty: Betty, one time I was riding on my skateboard when I passed your house
Betty: She pulled up like a figment of my worst intentions
Betty: Betty, right now is the last time I can dream about what happens when you see my face again
Betty: Standing in your cardigan, kissing in my car again
Peace: I never had the courage of my convictions as long as danger is near
Peace: I talk shit with my friends, it’s like I’m wasting your honor
Peace: Give you my wild, give you a child
Peace: Family that I chose now that I see your brother as my brother
Peace: I’d give you my sunshine, give you my best
Hoax: My only one, my smoke gun, my eclipsed sun, this has broken me down
Hoax: My twisted knife, my sleepless night, my windless fight, this has frozen my ground
Hoax: My best laid plan, your sleight of hand
Hoax: My barren land, I am ash from your fire
Hoax: You knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart
Hoax: My only one, my kingdom come undone, my broken drum, you have beaten my heart
The Lakes: Is it romantic how all my elegies eulogize me?
The Lakes: I don’t belong and, my beloved, neither do you
The Lakes: I’m setting off, but not without my muse
The Lakes: What should be over burrowed under my skin
The Lakes: I’ve come too far to watch some name dropping sleaze tell me what are my Wordsworth
The Lakes: I want to watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet
The Lakes: I bathe in cliffside pools with my calamitous love and insurmountable grief
'evermore'
Willow: I’m begging for you take my hand, wreck my plans, that’s my man
Willow: You know that my train could take you home
Willow: Hey, that’s my man, that’s my man, yeah, that’s my man
Champagne Problems: My picture in your wallet
Champagne Problems: You won’t remember all my champagne problems
Gold Rush: I don’t like anticipating my face in a red flush
Gold Rush: I see me padding across your wooden floors with my Eagles T-shirt hanging from the door
Gold Rush: It fades into the gray of my day-old tea ‘cause it could never be
Gold Rush: My mind turns your life into folklore
‘Tis The Damn Season: I’m staying at my parents’ house and the road not taken looks real good now
‘Tis The Damn Season: It always leads to you and my hometown
‘Tis The Damn Season: I parked my car right between the Methodist and the school that used to be ours
‘Tis The Damn Season: The heart I know I’m breaking is my own
Tolerate It: Use my best colors for your portrait
Tolerate It: If it’s all in my head, tell me now
Tolerate It: I know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it
Tolerate It: Where’s that man who’d throw blankets over my barbed wire?
Tolerate It: I made you my temple, my mural, my sky
No Body, No Crime: She says, “That ain’t my merlot on his mouth, that ain’t my jewelry on our joint account“
No Body, No Crime: Good thing my daddy made me get a boating license when I was fifteen
Happiness: Showed you all of my hiding spots
Happiness: Haunted by the look in my eyes that would’ve loved you for a lifetime
Happiness: When did all our lessons start to look like weapons pointed at my deepest hurt?
Happiness: I hope she’ll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you
Happiness: Sorry, I can’t see facts through all of my fury
Happiness: Now my eyes leak acid rain on the pillow where you used to lay your head
Dorothea: It’s never too late to come back to my side
Coney Island: Break my soul in two looking for you
Coney Island: Did I close my fist around something delicate?
Coney Island: I’m sitting on a bench in Coney Island wondering where did my baby go?
Coney Island: Sorry for not making you my centerfold
Coney Island: The question pounds my head, what’s a lifetime of achievement?
Coney Island: Will you forgive my soul when you’re too wise to trust me and too old to care?
Coney Island: I’m on a bench in Coney Island wondering where did my baby go?
Coney Island: Sorry for not making you my, making you my, making you my centerfold
Ivy: My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand
Ivy: I can’t stop you putting roots in my dreamland
Ivy: My house of stone, your ivy grows and now I’m covered in you
Ivy: So tell me to run or dare to sit and watch what we’ll become and drink my husband’s wine
Ivy: It’s the goddamn fight of my life and you started it
Cowboy Like Me: I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve
Cowboy Like Me: Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon with your boots beneath my bed
Cowboy Like Me: I’ve had some tricks up my sleeve
Long Story Short: I tried to pick my battles ‘til the battle picked me
Long Story Short: Like the war of words I shouted in my sleep
Long Story Short: When I dropped my sword, I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door
Long Story Short: My waves meet your shore ever and evermore
Marjorie: You’re alive, you’re alive in my head
Closure: I’m fine with my spite and my tears and my beers and my candles
Evermore: I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone
Evermore: And I was catching my breath, staring out an open window, catching my death
Evermore: And I was catching my breath, barefoot in the wildest winter, catching my death
Evermore: And I was catching my breath, floors of a cabin creaking under my step
Right Where You Left Me: I stayed there, dust collected on my pinned up hair
Right Where You Left Me: I cause no harm, mind my business
It’s Time To Go: Begging ‘til my knees bled
It’s Time To Go: I gave it my all, he gave me nothing at all, then wondered why I left
It’s Time To Go: He’s got my past frozen behind glass but I’ve got me
It’s Time To Go: The snaps from the same little breaks in my soul
'Midnights'
Lavender Haze: You don’t really read into my melancholia
Lavender Haze: They’re bringing up my history but you weren’t even listening
Lavender Haze: Get it off my desk
Maroon: Laughing with my feet in your lap like you were my closest friend
Maroon: The burgundy on my T-shirt when you splashed your wine into me and how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was
Maroon: The mark they saw on my collarbone
Anti-Hero: Midnights become my afternoons
Anti-Hero: When my depression works the graveyard shift, all of the people I’ve ghosted stand there in the room
Anti-Hero: I should not be left to my own devices
Anti-Hero: One day, I’ll watch as you’re leaving ‘cause you tired of my scheming for the last time
Anti-Hero: Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism like some kind of congressman?
Anti-Hero: I have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money
Snow On The Beach: And my flight was awful, thanks for asking
Snow On The Beach: I’ve never seen someone lit from within, blurring out my periphery
Snow On The Beach: My smile is like I won a contest
You’re On Your Own, Kid: I touch my phone as if it’s your face
You’re On Your Own, Kid: There’s just one who could make me stay all my days
You’re On Your Own, Kid: Something different bloomed, writing in my room
You’re On Your Own, Kid: I play my songs in the parking lot
You’re On Your Own, Kid: I search the party of better bodies just to learn that my dreams aren’t rare
You’re On Your Own, Kid: I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this
You’re On Your Own, Kid: I hosted parties and starved my body like I’d be saved by a perfect kiss
You’re On Your Own, Kid: My friends from home don’t know what to say
Midnight Rain: He wanted a bride, I was making my own name
Midnight Rain: My town was a wasteland, full of cages, full of fences
Midnight Rain: My boy was a montage
Question…?: I don’t remember who I was before you painted all my nights a color I’ve searched for since
Vigilante Shit: I’m on my vigilante shit again
Bejeweled: Didn’t notice you walking all over my peace of mind
Bejeweled: Diamonds in my eyes, I polish up real, I polish up real nice
Bejeweled: I made you my world, have you heard I can reclaim the land?
Bejeweled: Sapphire tears on my face, sadness became my whole sky
Bejeweled: Some guy said my aura’s moonstone just cause he was high
Bejeweled: You can try to change my mind but you might have to wait in line
Labyrinth: I’ll be getting over you my whole life
Labyrinth: Lost in the labyrinth of my mind
Karma: I keep my side of the street clean, you wouldn’t know what I mean
Karma: ‘Cause karma is my boyfriend
Karma: Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend
Karma: Karma is a cat purring in my lap ‘cause it loves me
Karma: My pennies made your crown
Karma: Karma takes all my friends to the summit
Sweet Nothing: I spy with my little tired eye, tiny as a firefly, a pebble that we picked up last July
The Great War: My knuckles were bruised like violets
The Great War: Spineless in my tomb of silence
The Great War: My hand was the one you reached for
The Great War: I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone
The Great War: Your finger on my hairpin triggers
The Great War: Say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair
Bigger Than The Whole Sky: Salt streams out of my eyes and into my ears
Paris: Privacy signs on the door and on my page and on the whole world
Paris: Sit quiet by my side in the shade
Paris: Confess my truth in swooping, sloping, cursive letters
Paris: Let the only flashing lights be the tower at midnight in my mind
Paris: My love, we were in Paris
High Infidelity: Put on your headphones and burn my city
High Infidelity: Dragged my feet right down the aisle
Glitch: You don’t live in my part of town but maybe I’ll see you out some weekend
Glitch: Depending on what kind of mood and situation-ship I’m in and what’s in my system
Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: If you’d never looked my way I would’ve stayed on my knees
Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: You’re a crisis of my faith
Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be
Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: Stained glass windows in my mind
Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: I fight with you in my sleep
Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first
Dear Reader: My fourth drink in my hand, these desperate prayers of a cursed man
Dear Reader: You wouldn’t take my word for it if you knew who was talking
Dear Reader: I pace in my pen and my friends found friends who care
Hits Different: I washed my hands of us at the club
Hits Different: Oh my, love is a lie, shit my friends say to get me by
Hits Different: Now the sun burns my heart and the sand hurts my feelings
Hits Different: My sadness is contagious
You’re Losing Me: I can’t find a pulse, my heart won’t start anymore for you ‘cause you’re losing me
You’re Losing Me: Every morning, I glared at you with storms in my eyes
You’re Losing Me: I sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick
You’re Losing Me: My face was gray but you wouldn’t admit that we were sick
You’re Losing Me: I know my pain is such an imposition
You’re Losing Me: My heart won’t start anymore, my heart won’t start anymore
You’re Losing Me: I gave you all my best me’s, my endless empathy
You’re Losing Me: I can’t find a pulse, my heart won’t start anymore
Karma (feat. Ice Spice): So I keep my head up, my bread up, I won’t let up, never
Karma (feat. Ice Spice): ‘Cause karma is my boyfriend / Damn
Karma (feat. Ice Spice): Karma takes all my friends to the summit / Facts
Karma (feat. Ice Spice): Karma is my boyfriend, karma is a god / Karma is my bestie
Other Songs written by Taylor
Beautiful Eyes: My heart has never felt this way before
Beautiful Eyes: ‘Cause you’re my lullaby
Beautiful Ghosts: I watch from the dark, wait for my life to start with no beauty in my memory
Beautiful Ghosts: Scared to call them my friends and be broken again, is this hope just a mystical dream?
Beautiful Ghosts: Maybe my home isn’t what I had known, what I thought it to be
Best Days Of Your Life: A shame that every time you hear my name brought up in a casual conversation you can’t think straight?
Best Days Of Your Life: Live out my dreams with someone new
Best Days Of Your Life: So I’ve got my pride and she’s got you
Carolina: Oh, Carolina creeks running through my veins
Carolina: And she’s in my dreams
Christmas Tree Farm: My winter nights are taken up by static
Christmas Tree Farm: I close my eyes and I’m somewhere else just like magic
Christmas Tree Farm: In my heart is a Christmas tree farm
Christmases When You Were Mine: My mama’s in the kitchen, worrying about me
Crazier: You lift my feet off the ground
Crazier: You opened my eyes and you made me believe
I Don’t Wanna Live Forever: I’m sitting eyes wide open and I got one thing stuck in my mind
I Don’t Wanna Live Forever: Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life
I Heart ?: Fix my heart, put on my makeup
I Heart ?: I got an I heart question mark written on the back of my hand
If This Was A Movie: Last night I heard my own heart beating, sounded like footsteps on my stairs
If This Was A Movie: And I just wanna see you back at my front door
Renegade: Carry your baggage up my street and make me your future history
Renegade: And then you squeeze my hand as I’m about to leave
The Alcott: I tell you my problems, you tell me the truth
The Alcott: It’s the first thing I do / Did my love aid and abet you?
The Alcott: I’ll ruin it all over / Rain on my parade
The Alcott: I’ll ruin it for you / Shred my evening gown
The Alcott: I’ll ruin it all over / Read my sentence out loud
The Alcott: I tell you my problems / Have I become one of your problems?
The Joker And The Queen (Remix): I showed you my hand and you still let me win
The Joker And The Queen (Remix): So I kept my cards close to my foolproof vest
The Joker And The Queen (Remix): You called my bluff and saw through all my tells
Two Is Better Than One: You came into my life and I thought, hey, you know, this could be something
Two Is Better Than One: You know that it all takes my breath away
Two Is Better Than One: There’s so much time to figure out the rest of my life
Two Is Better Than One: When I close my eyes and drift away I think of you and everything’s okay
Official Alternate Releases
Haunted (2010 Version): Oh, I’m holding my breath, won’t lose you again
Haunted (2010 Version): Oh, I’m holding my breath, won’t see you again
Lover (feat. Shawn Mendes): Look in my eyes, they will tell you the truth, the girl in my story has always been you
Ivy (Clean Version): Oh, I can’t, my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand
Ivy (Clean Version): It’s the fiercest fight of my life and you started it, you started it
Hits Different (Clean Version): Oh my, love is a lie, it’s what my friends say to get me by
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imhereonthekitchenfloor · 2 years ago
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i somehow feel obligated to tell you that the lyrics in stay beautiful are parts of different thoughts:
1. cory’s eyes are like a jungle
2. he smiles
3. it’s like the radio [how] he whispers songs into my window in words that nobody knows
just wanted to shed some light on something that once plagued me 😅
(👁👄👁) what
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likeadevils · 1 year ago
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#also again to the point of music being a metaphor for love on debut#i think its so sweet how it transforms from music by other people being the soundtrack to love#tim mcgraw -- my favorite song#got the radio on -- trying to find a place in this world -- the radio as a soundtrack for finding self love as well#but then slowly the songs transform into something that two lovers are creating together#because when we get -- he whispers songs into my window in words that nobody knows#he's both singing her the song but it's also a metaphor for his existence inspiring her#then it transforms into writing songs being an act of love#our song is something that the two people have created together -- but it's the speaker who WRITES it. it belongs only to her#i wrote an essay about this but idk it was really coherent but it's like#debut is about taking ownership of this thing that you love (music) and making it your own#tim mcgraw wrote the first song that's referenced on the album -- we don't hear it but we know it's his song#and then we watch over the course of the album as she discovers her own voice -- her own place in this world#and so by the end of the album#it's taylor herself writing the song#she's soundtracking her own life rather than relying on anyone else#SORRY ITS ALWAYS BEEN BRILLIANT
@petruchio THANK YOU EXACTLY EXACTLY EXACTLY
y’all never shut up about folklore comparing love to films and then turn around and say “how can a person smile like the radio” as if debut doesn’t have a running motif comparing love to a song like. when you think tim mcgraw i hope you think of me he’s the song in the car i keep singing don’t know why i do it’s strange to think the songs we used to sing the smiles the flowers everything is gone our song is the slamming screen door sneaking out late tapping on your window what’s not clicking
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music-in-my-veins14 · 5 months ago
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Cory's eyes are like a jungle He smiles, it's like the radio He whispers songs into my window In words that nobody knows There's pretty girls on every corner That watch him as he's walking home Saying, "Does he know?" Will you ever know?
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derekthesavage · 5 months ago
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Had an amusing interaction on the bus today. Thought I might share.
Me: (thinking) Hmmm... I hate liberals.
[The bus is packed. Full of people staring out the window and looking at their phones instead of communicating. Instead of living in the moment.]
Me: Could this day get any worse?
[Just then, the bus driver turns on the radio... Run the World. Beyonce.]
Me: *gags*
[Nobody speaks up. Some of the liberals even start bobbing their heads along.]
Me: This is gonna be a looooong ride.
[Suddenly, a scraggly kid in the back stands up. Blue hair. Beanie. Nose ring. Clearly a liberal. He struts up to the front of the bus before tapping the bus driver on the shoulder.]
Bus Driver: *turns around* Huh?
Beanie Kid: Turn that racket off, and try this on for size.
[He reaches into his coat, producing an unmarked CD. The bus driver hesitates, but takes the disk as it becomes clear this kid won't take no for an answer. Calm as can be, the kid turns around and returns to his seat.]
Me: (thinking) Oh, great. What is it this time? Brittany Spears? Justin Bieber? Or maybe *gags*... Taylor Swift? This is just about the worst day I've ever-
[The speakers begin to emanate a new song. Heavier. Stronger in presence. As I gather myself, disbelieving all the while, a familiar voice echoes throughout the bus.]
Radio: My name is Kiiiiii-
Me: *eyes widen*
Radio: -iiiiiiiiiiii-
Me: *jaw drops*
Radio: -iiiiiiiiiiid
Me: (mouths the words) No fuckin' way.
Radio: Rock!
[The bus begins vibrating under the weight of Bawitdaba, Kid Rock's classic anthem. People begin looking around and whispering to one another. A few even start dancing in their seats. I look to the kid in disbelief as a knowing grin creeps across his face. The noise of the world fades out momentarily, before returning with a vengeance in the form of a legendary lyrical hook.]
Radio: Bawitdaba, da bang, da bang! Diggy, diggy, diggy, said the boogie, said up jump the boogie!
[The blue haired kid slides my way and we begin headbanging in perfect unison to the rhythm of the song.]
Radio: Bawitdaba, da bang, da bang! Diggy, diggy, diggy, said the boogie, said up jump the boogie!
[We dance like hell to the rest of the tune, most other passengers joining in with us. Even the liberals can't help but gently sway in their seats, though they seem to be hoping nobody notices.]
[By the time we reach the kid's stop, I feel as though I've been dancing for hours. The energy in the bus was amped up, but not the kid. Cool as ever, he gathered his belongings and exited without a word. He leaves the CD with the driver and steps out of our lives forever. The bus doors close, and we drive on as though nothing happened. I slump back in my seat.]
Me:(thinking) Okay... Maybe SOME liberals are okay.
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sexybabystevie · 1 year ago
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how could you not like stay beautiful??? cory's eyes are like a jungle??? his smile shines like the radio?????? he whispers songs into my window in words that nobody knows????????????
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dreamaboutwhathappens · 2 years ago
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it’s a different thought!! the next line is “he whispers songs into my window” — so “he smiles” is one thing and then “it’s like the radio: he whispers songs into my window in words that nobody knows” etc
hey what the fuck does “he smiles, it’s like the radio” mean
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heyyyharry · 4 years ago
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Deja Vu (part 2 of 'Drivers License')
(inspired by deja vu by Olivia Rodrigo)
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Word count: 2.5k
Read part 1 here
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“What the fuck is this?”
Harry flinched as his girlfriend shoved the phone at him. He’d just got out of the shower, hair still dripping wet, but it wasn’t so out of the ordinary that she would start a fight first thing in the morning.
He sighed and gently pushed her phone away from his face. “Baby, if it’s another rumour about me cheating on you...I was with you this whole week!”
“No.” She lifted the phone up to his face again. “That girl just released another song about you.”
Even though Harry didn’t let it show, whenever he heard about Y/N, his heart would always skip a beat. He couldn’t remember exactly when the last time they’d spoken was, but he knew in his last message to her, he’d congratulated her on that new song about him. She’d never replied, and he’d taken it as the answer — they could never go back to the way it was.
It had broken his heart to listen to ‘drivers license’. Y/N had never been the kind of person to be vocal about her feelings. Or maybe she’d expressed it through actions instead of words, and he had been too nonchalant to see? He hadn’t meant to break her heart and leave her in the dust. After all, she used to be his best friend.
“Y/N’s a songwriter. She writes about her own experience the same way I do. Maybe that song is not even about me, babe,” he calmly told his girlfriend, who was standing in front of him with fresh tears in her eyes. He hated to see her cry, and he hated that this wasn’t the first time she’d done it because of him. He tried to reach for her but she stepped back, shaking her head.
“Listen to the song.”
“Baby.”
“Listen to the song,” his girlfriend repeated without looking at him. “Why are you so afraid?”
“I’m not.”
“Then listen to it and tell me it’s not about you, and that she’s not throwing shades at me. I’m so tired of this girl telling the world about how horrible we are as if you had even dated her in the first place—”
“Fine,” Harry exhaled sharply, his eyes pinched shut. He hated that when his girlfriend got mad, she would get so mean for no reason, and the last thing he wanted to hear right now was her insulting Y/N. He knew Y/N. She had always been respectful to his new relationship. However, he wasn’t in the position to tell his girlfriend how to feel about this situation. He knew it was all his fault, so he stayed quiet, took the phone from his girlfriend and sat down on the edge of the bed. His girlfriend stood with her back against the wall facing him, waiting for him to play the song so she could see his reaction to it.
“Go on,” she told him, her voice emotionless.
Harry looked at the song on Spotify. It was titled deja vu. He took a deep breath and one last look at his girlfriend before finding enough courage to press play.
Y/N’s previous song about him had been blasted in every shop he’d visited, all the time when he was filming, every time he was in the car, and now, the moment he heard her voice again, it really did feel like deja vu.
Car rides down Malibu
Strawberry ice cream
One spoon for two…
.
.
.
“Are we there yet?”
“No, stop being so impatient! Just keep on driving!” Y/N said and looked out of the window on the passenger side. The sun was going down, and the horizon was gradually turning the colour of an egg yolk. It was their last day in Miami. They had been filming for every day that week, and this was the only day they could spend just for themselves.
Harry stole a glance at Y/N and saw that she’d finished half the strawberry ice cream while bobbing her head to the song Uptown Girl on the radio. He frowned, making her laugh when she noticed.
“Open your mouth,” she said and fed him a spoon of ice cream.
“Ahh, brain freeze!”
“But it’s good, isn’t it?”
“So good.” Harry licked his lips. The face he made got Y/N laughing harder.
Fifteen minutes later they arrived at a secluded beach. Y/N had found this place when she traveled to this city alone two summers ago and almost got lost.
Together, she and Harry carried their picnic things through a palm forest, and by the time they saw the ocean, the moon had made a fading presence on the pink Miami sky.
Y/N picked up her shoes and ran towards the waves, letting it chase her back into Harry’s arms and nearly knocking him over. Their laughter echoed in the wind as their shadows stretched out long and lanky on the empty beach. In that very moment, it felt to Harry as if they were the only people in this world, and he had a sense of peace that he might never be able to experience again.
“You don’t get to see this in the city,” Y/N said dreamily as she pulled Harry’s jacket tighter around herself. It was dark now, and the sky above them was full of stars. They sat shoulder to shoulder on a picnic blanket, listening to the whispers of the ocean and the wind. Harry used Y/N’s jacket as a blanket because it was too small for him to put on. They’d laughed for five minutes straight when she told him he looked like that monkey from Aladdin and took plenty of photos just to prove the point.
“I don’t want to leave tomorrow,” he said, still looking at the sky.
“Me neither,” Y/N sighed, her shoulder brushing his. There was a pause, and he could feel her eyes on him, so he turned and saw her looking. “When I get home,” she said with a small smile that made her eyes sparkle, “I’ll learn to drive, and when we come to Miami next time, I can drive you to this beach.”
“I’d love that,” Harry said, then made her pink-promise him.
.
.
.
“They went to Miami last week.”
Y/N blinked. The beach and starry sky disappeared in a second, and she found herself once again standing in the fitting room with her stylist and best friend.
“What?” her best friend marched over to where she stood in front of the full-length mirror.
Her stylist was holding the phone up to show her the article. “Here. Harry took that actress to Miami last week.”
“Don’t show her these!” Y/N’s best friend grabbed the phone and put it on the vanity desk as she gestured to the stylist. “You do your work. Enough chit-chatting.”
“I took him there,” Y/N said. She didn’t even recognise her own voice at first because she was too in shock. She didn’t think Harry would do something like that. But let’s be honest -- how much did she really know about him?
It had been a few months since his last text to her, which she had ignored, and now her song had been overplayed, and nobody cared about the drama anymore. The whole world had moved on, and she had, too. Or so she’d thought. Now, seeing these pictures of him and his girlfriend on that Miami beach made Y/N feel betrayed.
“Asshole,” her best friend said and grabbed her shoulders. “Don’t worry baby. You’re prettier.”
Y/N worked up a smile and opened her mouth to say that she was fine, but then she heard someone call her name and turn around. They weren’t calling for her. Just a name similar to hers that had become an inside joke between her and her friends.
The moment she locked eyes with Harry’s girlfriend, her heart seemed to stop as she held her breath, her lips thinned as if to hold back a scream. She didn’t know the girl personally and had never run into her before today. How unfortunate that they had to be in the same room after Y/N had seen those Miami pics.
“What is she doing here?” Y/N’s best friend asked the stylist the question Y/N was too afraid to ask.
“Fitting for an event, I guess,” the stylist said.
Y/N told them to just ignore the others and mind their own business. The sooner they got the measurements, the faster she could leave. Or she could leave right now and come back another day, but that would make it look like the other girl’s presence was bothering her. They were both actresses, and so they would have to run into each other at some point. She must be professional about it. This was normal. Just act normal.
“He’s so unique,” Harry’s girlfriend said while laughing with her team. Y/N didn’t mean to overhear the conversation, but apparently, the girl was making sure that Y/N heard her loud and clear. “We were watching reruns of Glee last night, and he even sang to me and told me he loved me inbetween the chorus and the verse. Don’t touch the jacket! It’s Harry’s and it’s Gucci. We exchange jackets sometimes. Isn’t that adorable?”
“Show off,” Y/N’s best friend scoffed while shaking her head.
Y/N didn’t say anything. In her mind, she agreed with her best friend for a second and immediately felt that she was being petty so she forced herself to just be nonchalant about it.
She could not. She could not ignore the fact that she’d been replaced as if she didn’t matter. Harry was doing all the things he used to do with her with his new girl. Even taken her to that Miami beach. Their place.
Y/N bit her lip and tried to hold back the half-formed tears in her eyes as the stylist went on talking about the fabric. She chose a random one just to get this over with.
“I hope that fucker gets deja vu.”
“What?” Y/N blinked at her best friend, who gave a mean shrug as she glared at the girl.
“He’s probably thinking of you while doing all that shit with her.”
Y/N pondered over it. Over and over. Even after the girlfriend’s laughter had faded down the hallway, and Y/N was also packing up to leave the studio. Her best friend’s words stayed with her as she got into the car and watched the street of London pass by her window.
That night, when she was alone in her living room with her piano. She sat down and started playing a few experimental chords. Then, she cried. Her tears blurred the handwritten lyrics on her notebook as she tried again.
“I have this idea,” she told her manager on the phone before sending the recording. It was three in the morning.
“Oh my god,” her manager exclaimed, sounding much more enthusiastic than he had when picking up her call. “This song...is so gonna win a Grammy!”
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.
Y/N’s song had won a Grammy.
They had talked about it for so long. Harry had encouraged her to pursue a singing career, because she’d started out as an actress but was blessed with the most beautiful voice he had ever heard.
Ironic, wasn’t it? Now he was sitting at the front row and looking up at her as she received the award from an artist she looked up to, for the song written about him. She smiled at the crowd as the light shone on her and everyone was cheering because she deserved this. She said her thanks and expressed her gratitude to her family, her teams and her fans. She didn’t say his name. He hadn’t hoped that she would, because he knew there was no way his name would come with a positive message. So he was kind of glad she hadn’t mentioned him.
His girlfriend squeezed his arm as if she knew what he was thinking of. He smiled at his girlfriend. A smile of reassurance. They had put it behind them and promised to try again after all the fights about the song they were playing right now. Nothing would change after tonight. Because there was nothing Harry could change.
He caught Y/N’s eyes for one brief moment as she ascended the stage. Although he was sure he loved his girlfriend, there was something about that look that made him sad. Would he be happier to come here with Y/N tonight instead of his girlfriend? He wouldn’t know, because that would never happen. He didn’t even know if she still resented him, or if she was still the same person he remembered. A lot could change in a day let alone many months. And it was scary to think someone you used to know so much had become a complete stranger. The opposite of love wasn’t hate. It was indifference. And Harry felt it deeply as Y/N never paid him a second glance.
At the after-party, he worked up the courage to approach her when he found her standing alone texting on her phone.
“Hi. How are you?” he said.
Y/N looked at him as if she couldn’t understand English. If she ignored him and walked away, this would be the most humiliating moment of his life.
But no. She pressed her lips into a gentle smile and said, “I’m good. How are you?”
“Good.” He nodded, wanting to shake her hand, but his fingers stayed glued together behind his back. “Congratulations on your win.”
“Thank you.” She picked up the glass of wine on the table beside them, and Harry knew he’d lost his chance of shaking her hand tonight. “Did you like the song?”
“Yeah. It was good,” he said, finding it difficult to hold eye contact with her. There was something new about her that unsettled him, and he couldn’t pinpoint what it was. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For speaking out about it.”
“Oh.” Y/N showed no emotion as she shrugged. “It’s alright. I only said the truth. The song was fictional, and I don’t want anyone to get hate for it.”
They both knew it wasn’t true, and he couldn’t tell her that his girlfriend had almost broken up with him for it. Even if he had told her that, he didn’t think Y/N would care. She didn’t look like the Y/N he knew anymore. Suddenly, he recalled that night on the beach, when she was still looking at him with feelings.
“Look, Y/N, I—”
Before he got a chance to form a proper thought for what he was going to say, his girlfriend, who was obviously drunk, shouted from somewhere behind him. “Babe, Jeff’s wearing a tiny jacket! He looks more like the monkey than you!”
Harry looked at Y/N. She held his gaze. The corners of her red lips quirked as she raised her glass. “Deja vu?”
Just like that, she left him standing there all by himself.
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