#it’s kinda awkward to tag when there’s two emmas lol

[asphelissorcery]

little sketch/wip ig of the. um. very stable relationship. also i gave them last names because i thought it’d be fun

[themonkeycabal]

WandaVision Episode 9 Spoilers

I can't believe we're already at the finale. 

This has been better than I expected, though I didn't have any particular expectations one way or the other. I had hoped it would be bonkers, and it's had its moments, but I didn't expect it to be breaking my heart. I'm glad Wanda (and Elizabeth Olsen) got this moment to shine. It was very well done, and it's been nice to have fun with a Marvel property again. It's been a little while.

My wishlist for this episode is simply that somebody, anybody punch Acting Director Dick square in the face. And also that Jimmy Woo arrests him. A lot.

Other than that, I don't know what to expect, or how they wrap this up in 30 minutes.

Previously on: Wanda finally earned the name Scarlet Witch after Agatha made her relive the worst moments of her life. Harsh, Agatha. Vision uttered a line that launched a thousand gif sets. And Hayward revealed his genius masterplan which is a reactivated Vision, devoid of color and powered by the energy bleeding from Wanda's hex. I'm sure that will go swimmingly for him.

Let's see how this all ends.

Agatha still has magical tethers around Billy and Tommy's necks, which obviously Wanda doesn't like. Agatha gives the boys a tug, knocking them back, and Wanda lets loose, walloping Agatha. The boys are now free, but Wanda tells them to go to their room. They object, she insists, Tommy grabs Billy and they zoom off. Wanda hits Agatha again with a hex, but Agatha sort of collects it into a little glowy ball in her hand. Oops.

"I take power from the undeserving. It's kinda my thing."

Wanda notices her hand turning gray and gnarly — the look of somebody about to be magically mummified. Agatha hits her with a hex and taunts her some more.

"You're clearly in over your little, red head, so why don't you surrender your magic to someone who knows what to do with it?" Agatha, you're pushing your luck. "I'll let you keep this pathetic corner of the world all to yourself. What do you say?"

Wanda says she will throw a car right at your face, Agatha. I laughed. Didn't see that coming, did you? Knocked Agatha right out of her boots.

As Wanda is investigating, Director Dick's white Vision floats down behind her. He's creepy looking.

Wanda walks over to him, staring at him. "Is it really you?"

He puts his hands on her face, all gentle like, but it's a lie. He starts to squeeze. "And I was told you were powerful."

Gross, AD Dick. I hope you get stepped on by Ant-Man when he's being Giant-Man.

Sitcom World Vision (hereafter just plain old Vision) makes a timely reappearance, and takes out Not!Vision. He wants to know where the boys are, Wanda assures him they're safe, and she apologizes for everything and that she should have told him what was happening, "the moment I realized what I'd done". Poor Wanda. He tells her it's alright. She says she can fix it. Not!Vision climbs out of the burning remains of a camper.

Agatha reappears to note the awkwardness of the situation. She asks Wanda who she's going to choose, the ex or the boyfriend. What happens when Wanda hits you with more power than you can contain, Agatha?

Wanda tells Vision "this is our home." He agrees, "then let's fight for it." I hope for the best for you two crazy kids! Marvel has a dicey record on happy endings, though. Sorry!

Vision takes off towards Not!Vision again. Agatha flies off, too, and Wanda follows.

Across the street Monica is pounding on a window, calling for Wanda. Fietro, lounging with a guitar in his … stoner den?, tells her nobody can hear her. Can we talk about how Monica's SWORD uniform looks like ST:Next Gen unis? I can't stop seeing it and it's distracting. Anyway, she tries to escape, but, Fietro is still all fast and stuff, so she's thwarted.

In the sky, Vision and Not!Vision battle. Not!Vision says Wanda must be neutralized and Vision must be destroyed. Hmm. Not!Vision tries to rip out the stone in Vision's forehead but Vision goes intangible. More fighting with intangibleness. It's pretty cool.

Outside Westview, AD Dick is feeling cocky as he watches both Visions on tracking monitors. I loathe him so much. Jimmy Woo is brought in handcuffed by a pair of SWORD goons. I'm sorry, who the f is SWORD? Like, they have arrest powers now? Dick says "hey, it's my favorite member of the Bureau." New wishlist: everybody gets to take turns punching AD Dick in the face.

Dick asks his minion to reconfirm mission objectives while Jimmy listens carefully, mentally noting each and every violation of federal law and the Sokovia Accords. 

The minion says she can't get through to not!Vision, his system is overloaded. A cellphone rings on a desk nearby and Jimmy eyes it, then tells Hayward that he'll never be able to cover up these shenanigans. 

While Dick is busy boasting and the SWORD goons are doing everything but paying attention to their prisoner (in my head all the SWORD goons applied to SHIELD but Maria Hill laughed at each and every one of their applications and then called Pepper to laugh some more and then texted choice bits to May tagging them "RE: LOL"), Jimmy eases over and grabs the phone.

"Wanda canceled her show,” Dick says with the sort of confidence only an enormous prick can muster, “so there's no footage proving there was ever more than one Vision."

Jimmy points out that that is dumb, because there is other footage, from SWORD HQ and stuff, and probably evidence of tampering. He casually sits on a table, shaking his head, like he's just so disappointed (i'm hoping he's somehow managed to use the phone to record the monolog-ing) .

Dick is still too far up his own ass to notice Jimmy being sneaky. "No one's going to care once I've eliminated Wanda Maximoff. They'll believe that the Vision that emerges from the Westview rubble is the one she illegally tried to bring back to life."

Wait, bringing him back to life is illegal? You're full of shit, Dick. And also, an extremely terrible person, who will destroy a whole town for … something? A Vision weapon? Who are you fighting, Dick? BTW, I award him no sympathy points for surviving in the post-Snap world. So if he's been scarred by that or whatever, I don't care. Trauma doesn't excuse murdery megalomania. As has been said before: Cool motive, still murder. I hope Vision intangibles him into a lamp post that gets peed on every day by a parade of small dogs.

"They'll thank me for recovering such a valuable asset. You could be part of that victory, Jimmy. If only you had a little more … vision" says the smug prick who is asking for it. And by it I mean something both terrible and humiliating to happen to him asap.

Jimmy fake laughs back. "That's a good one, Hayward. Okay, I'm convinced. The trouble is my friends at Quantico will probably have something to say about your plan. When they arrive. Inside the hour." heh.

Oh, poor Dick doesn't like being mocked back. He tells his brain-dead goons to remove Jimmy. The goons throw Jimmy into a … stack of hay? In a fenced in cage thing? As you have on your pop-up military facility. Where he sets to work removing his handcuffs with a clip he also stole, because Jimmy Woo is cool like that. Close Up Magic! See the things you can learn from criminals. "Flourish" lol. 

He calls his friends at Quantico. "I was hoping you could get here … inside the hour?"

Back in Westview. Wanda is looking for Agatha while the town goes about its business. Weirdo delivery guy drives by "Don't shoot. I'm just the messenger. ha ha."

Then she gets hit in the back by a purple hex. Ouch. She has hit the pavement hard kind of a lot in this episode already. That hurts, my dudes, I know this from personal falling down experience. Wanda's hand, by the way, is still looking ashy and not very healthy.

Agatha taunts her from a rooftop. "Did you know there's an entire chapter devoted to you in the Darkhold." How could she know that, Agatha? Also, boo the Darkhold. That bit of nastiness led to the Framework, and I'm still a little scarred by that myself. "That's the book of the damned," says the witch standing in front of a billboard for "Squeaky Shine" lol.

Agatha produces the Darkhold and recites from it, "The Scarlet Witch is not born, she is forged. She has no coven, nor need for incantation." Wanda insists she isn't a witch, nobody taught her magic.

Agatha continues, "Your power exceeds that of the Sorcerer Supreme" Steven Strange will like that. Not much. He's so twitchy about things like that. "It's your destiny to destroy the world." Always with the destinies. FREE WILL FOREVAH!

Wanda insists she's not the Scarlet Witch thingy. Agatha says "oh really?" and uses her mojo on Emma Caulfield. Hi Emma Caulfield! She seems to be 'awake' and introduces herself to Wanda (who knew her as Dottie) "My name is Sarah. I have a daughter, she's 8, maybe she could be friends with your boys. If you like that storyline. Or the school bully, even. Really anything, if you could just let her out of her room. If I could just hold her." Wow, ouch.

Speaking of free will or the lack of, Wanda accuses Agatha of doing this, but Agatha says "She's your meat puppet. I just cut her strings." Poor Wanda. And now Agatha wakes up the whole town, who all head towards Wanda.

And we cut to Fietro's den of manchildness. Monica asks what that place is, but come on Monica, it's clearly a den of manchildness. Fietro is making himself a smoothie and explaining the purpose of a mancave — chillaxing.

Monica ignores him and rifles through his bills and whatnot. She finds a headshot of Fietro with the name "Ralph Bohner" underneath. Because, people just keep their headshots lying around willynilly. Wait, are we saying Ralph is an actor? Lol. 

Fietro meanwhile is planning for a Steven Segal marathon — my dad and I watched all of those movies and for the life of me I could not tell you why. We didn't *like* them. I mean, mostly we laughed, but still. Why?

Anyway, Monica is trying to solve the mystery of Fietro. It's not Agatha's house (obviously) it's Fietro's (Ralph). He's an ass and asks if she wants to fight some more, so she flips him over her shoulder and pins him down, trying to figure out how Agatha is controlling him. With her new glowy eyes, she notices the bead necklace he's wearing sparkles in a magically way. She rips it off and Fietro becomes Ralph.

Elsewhere the Visions are still battling in the sky and the boys are watching from their bedroom. They lose sight of dad, but Billy gets a vision of mom in trouble in the town square. He and Tommy run off.

The townsfolk are confused and scared. Wanda tells them they're all going to be fine. "When you let us sleep, we have your nightmares." Ouch. Wanda insists she kept them safe. Wanda, sweetie, you're very far in over your head. 

"You feel, you feel at peace," she tells them, kind of hoping that works. It doesn’t. "We feel your pain." "Your grief is poisoning us." "Please let us go." This is an awful thing to do to Wanda, Marvel!

It escalates with all those voices begging her to free them and she screams, grabbing her head, and when she does that, red light appears around the throats of the townies, silencing them, choking them. Wanda realizes and puts her glowy hands up "stop, stop, I'm sorry", releasing them all.

"If you won't let us go, let us die." Wanda promises to let them go. Agatha wonders what's stopping her from actually doing it.  

"Heroes don't torture people." Agatha's a very sink-or-swim kind of teacher.

That does the trick and Wanda throws her arms back and yells to the sky, releasing her power up at the hex surrounding the town. "Go, all of you. Now, go." The people run and the town flickers through the eras and the barrier starts to fall.

Outside, Director Dick tells his morons "this is it, we're going in!"

The Visions keep on battling, but as the barrier falls, Vision starts to falter himself. I was afraid of that.

The Morons roll in with their big trucks and big guns because … reasons. I have a very low opinion of SWORD. Maria Rambeau's agency deserves better than this shitshow.

Vision falls and it looks like bits of him are chipping off. He hits the ground hard, he gets up, but he's glitching, too, falling apart as Wanda takes down her spell. He reaches for her. The boys appear now, too, screaming for mom, but they seem to be flickering as well, flying apart in pixelly pieces. Poor Wanda.

Agatha says "Now do you see? You tied your family to this twisted world and now one can't exist without the other." This is terrible. "Save Westview or save your family." TERRIBLE.

Wanda pulls the hex into herself again, recreating the barrier. The kids and Vision recover and run to her. Outside, as the hex closes, Jimmy Woo is, yet again, left to stare at the barrier, cut off from the fun inside. Poor guy, lol. But, his FBI buddies are arriving, so at least he won't get lonely.

Agatha throws a hex at Wanda and Wanda throws up a shield to protect her family. Which Agatha starts to draw towards herself like the magic vampire she is. Greedy Agatha. Wanda's arms are all gray. And SWORD rolls into town square, because that's what this confrontation needed — these dipshits.

Anyway, the Family stands ready to face Director Dick and his morons, in a quality recreation of the Incredibles family pose. "Listen boys, your mother and I never really prepared you for this," dad says. Because your boys are like three days old, Vision, it's okay. "But you were born for it," Wanda assures them very fiercely. Get 'em, sister!  

As they square off, Vision's like "oh crap, it's the other me, back in a mo'" and flies off to tackle Not!Vision who's trying to sneak up behind them.

They destroy the town library and Vision wants to know why Not!Vision gotta be like that. "My programming directive is to destroy the Vision." 

Ha ha, says Vision, a loophole. "But, I'm not the true Vision, only a conditional Vision."

Hmmm, says Not!Vision, and they stop fighting, "I request elaboration". Hey, Vision, move into Not!Vision's body and you can be true Vision again! Problem solved, my work here is done.

Back to the street where we find Dick and his Morons and Agatha who is not making this situation at all better. The morons point their guns at Agatha who magics them up off the ground like thirty feet in the air, "Same story, different century. There will always be torches and pitchforks for ladies like us, Wanda." I'm not going to say you're wrong, Agatha, and God knows these SWORD morons are morons, but you're also a pain in the ass. So …

Anyway, then Agatha drops them and Wanda reaches out to catch them. But once caught, she does let them drop the last five or six feet. They'll be fine, but also they deserved it, so I laughed.

"Boys, handle the military. Mommy will be right back." They're my new favorite family.

Wanda flies up to tangle with Agatha and Agatha is super ready except … Wanda throws a curveball and disappears. Suck it Agatha.

Down on the ground the SWORD morons continue to cover themselves in glory and point their guns at CHILDREN. I don't care if they're powered children, you know what I'd like, I'd like if one of the morons would just be like "um, but … they're kids and how about no? I'm going to get Jimmy Woo! He'll know what to do. Don't try and stop me!" That doesn't happen.

Billy freezes the soldiers in place and Tommy super speeds by and steals their guns and hats. AD Dick, being the absolutely loathsome, vile, lower-than-a-maggot, piece of shit that he is, gets out of his humvee and shoots at the CHILDREN.

Monica, who has just arrived to the party, runs and throws herself between Dick and the boys, taking the bullets meant for them. Her new powers render her sort of … I don't even know. Not quite intangible, but she kind of looks like a ballistics gel dummy and the bullets go through her but they slow down a lot as they pass and then just sort of fall on the ground. Dick, crossing the line into pure evil, fires again, the bullet misses Monica and heads towards Billy, who just raises his hand and stops it with his power then he grins at Monica.

"Nice tricks," she tells him.

"I like yours, too," he says.

Dick tries to fire AGAIN! But he's out of bullets. He only had four? Or maybe his gun jammed. Anyway, like the brave man he is, he runs to the humvee, gets in, reverses at speed, stops and looks like he's going to put it in gear and drive at them because the dude is unhinged. But! Lo! It's Darcy and the funnel cake truck, that is apparently built like a tank, though come to think of it, it probably was an armored vehicle in the real world.

Anyway, she t-bones Dick's vehicle, thwarting his evility for the moment. "Have fun in prison." Lol

Back to the Visions. They're having a philosophical debate. "You are familiar with the thought experiment "The Ship of Theseus" in the field of identity metaphysics," Vision prompts Not!Vision.

  "Naturally." And Not!Vision helpfully spells it out for us. "The ship of Theseus is in a museum. Over time its planks of wood rot and are replaced with new planks. When no original planks remain, is it still the ship of Theseus?"

  Vision presses his advantage, "Secondly. If those removed planks are restored and reassembled, free of the rot, is that the ship of Theseus?"

To sum up, neither is the true Vision, both are the true Vision.

"But I do not have the mind stone," says not!Vision.

  "And I do not have one single ounce of original material," replies Vision. "Perhaps the rot is the memories. The wear and tear are the voyages. The wood touched by Theseus himself."

Not!Vision says he doesn't have the memories, though, but Vision insists he does, the data is still there, hidden. Not!Vision says nah, Vision must be the true Vision because he believes himself to be. But, Vision says that's not true anymore, he plays the reverse card, "upon meeting you, I have been disabused of that notion." This is the most philosophy nerd game of 'not it' ever.

Vision continues to try to get at Not!Vision's memories. "As a carbon-based synthazoid, your memory storage is not so easily wiped. May I?" Not!Vision allows Vision to touch the glowy bit where the memory stone used to be, and Not!Vision is flooded with Vision's memories. Not!Vision's eyes go … normal, I guess you'd say, no longer robot-like and glowy.

"I am Vision" he says and flies off. It was a lot to take in, I guess. He needs a little me-time.

I guess we're going to have to go back to calling Vision Sitcom!Vision, anyway, he goes outside and the boys run over to him and there's hugging and stuff.

Agatha stalks them from the rooftop, but it seems she might have forgotten Wanda for a second, because Wanda appears behind her and does that thing she does where she makes you see your worst fear. Enjoy that, Agatha!

Agatha sees herself bound to the stake in the woods again. Her coven dead. Wanda is there in the vision, too. "You see the difference between you and me, is that you did this on purpose."

The coven rise from the dead and shuffle to her while Agatha begs for it to stop. But, then Agatha gets control of herself, I guess, and the undead mummy witches start saying Wanda's name and pointing at her. You're just no fun at all, Agatha.

Now the coven ties Wanda to the stake. "You can't win, Wanda. Power isn't your problem; it's knowledge." That is, actually, very true. Wanda's Scarlet Witch headpiece appears on her all magical-like, marking her as the Scarlet Witch of myth, I suppose.

"Give me your power, and I will correct the flaws in your original spell. And you and your family and the people of Westview can all live together in peace."

If Agatha is so smart, why doesn't she just take Wanda's power, hmm?

"And no one will ever have to feel this pain again. Not even you," Agatha tries cajoling, but that was the wrong tack to take. Wanda gives her the head tilt of imminent ass-kicking, and her powers explode outward, flinging way the weird creepy coven of zombie mummies. Then Wanda knocks them both back into Westview.

She starts hammering Agatha with her powers. "Take it, I don't want it." Vision tries to fly up to help her, but she blocks him with a spell.

Witch fight in the clouds. Every time Wanda misses Agatha, her hexes hit the shield. Outside Jimmy Woo looks on, concerned.

"There's more," Agatha says, "I want it all." Wanda's looking a little mummified, but she's still flinging hexes left and right while Agatha cackles evilly. Eventually Wanda runs out of steam and just sort of hovers there.

"About our deal. Once case, a spell can never be changed." You're terrible, Agatha. Very cruel. "This world will always be broken. Just. Like. You." Low, Agatha. Lower than dirt

Agatha gathers herself and tries to hit out at Wanda with all that yummy power but it just fizzles. Nothing happens. Oh noes, Agatha, what's wrong?

Wanda starts looking like her normal self again and behind her glows a giant rune. Oh, dear, Agatha, you taught Wanda something. When she was missing Agatha and hitting the shield all those times, she was actually casting runes. LOL to you.

The sky is angry and red and stormy. Monica, Vision, and the boys look on.

"In a given space," Wanda says, "only the witch who cast them [runes] can use her magic. Thanks for the lesson, but, I don't need you to tell me who I am."

 The Scarlet Witch headpiece reappears and now Agatha has her a fright. I like you Agatha, you're rotten in fun way, but you took it too far, sister. Wanda takes her power back with prejudice and she is transformed into the Scarlet Witch. Updated version of the classic costume. Nice, I like it.

"Oh god," Agatha gasps, "You don't know what you've done." Wanda drops her on the ground more gently than she deserved.

Agatha asks if Wanda's going to lock her up somewhere. And Wanda says, yeah, here in lovely Westview. "I'll give you the role you chose; the nosy neighbor."

"You have no idea what you've unleashed. You're gonna need me." "If I do, I know where to find you." lol

And Wanda turns Agatha back into Agnes. "Hiya, hon. Say, that some kind of getup you're wearing. Did I leave the oven on, or is that just you, hot stuff."

Wanda says goodbye and walks over to her family, kissing her boys.

Vision says their dream home has turned into a fixer-upper. "I know you'll set everything right. Just not for us."

"No," Wanda agrees because Marvel likes to hurt us all. "Not for us."

Monica kind of bounces on her toes, trying to get Wanda's attention, but probably also not entirely wanting Wanda's attention. Wanda gives her a hesitant nod as she and Vision leave with the boys.

The field around town starts to shrink, the circus turns back into the SWORD base.

They get home and tuck the boys into bed.

"Big day today," Vision says. "Your mother and I … are very proud of you both."

"Very proud," Wanda agrees. "You know, a family is forever. We could never truly leave each other, even if we tried. You know that right?"

They kiss their boys goodnight. Outside the window, the field flickers and fails. "Boys, thanks for choosing me to be your mom."

The town of Westview returns to its sad old self, street by street. Wanda turns out the lights in their home.

But, Vision turns one back on. "Oh, I read somewhere, that it's bad luck to say goodbye in the dark." "No, you didn't." You guys are killing me.

Why did this have to be so good and sad?

And finally the collapsing field reaches their street, they watch it coming. 

"Wanda, I know we can't stay like this, but before I go, I feel I must know, what am I?"

She touches his face. "You, Vision, are the piece of the mind stone that lives in me. You are a body of wires and blood and bone that I created. You are my sadness and my hope, but mostly you're my love." Stupid show, my screen went blurry there for a second.

Vision cries a bit, they both are a little astonished by the tear. 

"I have been a voice with no body, a body but not human. And now, a memory, made real. Who knows what I might be next." Aww, Vision, I love you.

Here comes the field.

"We have said goodbye before, so it stands to reason—" "We'll say hello again." STUPID SHOW why do you have to make me feel things?

The field collapses and everything is stripped back into nothing. "So long, darling." And Wanda stands in the empty lot, in the foundations of the home that never was.

She walks away again. Poor Wanda. And back into town. The people look at her, they don't seem happy. I don't know why she chose to do that, she does have a car. Ah, she's going to talk to Monica.

"They'll never know what you sacrificed for them," Monica says. "It wouldn't change how they see me," Wanda tells her. "And you? You don't … you don't hate me?" "Given the chance, and given your power, I'd bring my mom back. You know I would." "I'm sorry, for all the pain I caused."

Wanda promises to figure out her power and then files off. The End.

Heartbreaking. Good, but heartbreaking.

Mid-credits scene. Jimmy Woo is large and in charge. He's setting up the incident response in town, ordering folks around (in his good natured way).

Jimmy spots his friend. "Monica!" "Authority looks good on you, Jimmy." "Where's Darcy?" "Something about ‘debriefs are for the weak’?" lol "But we can thank her for that." 

And down the street AD Dick is being arrested. Nobody punched him in the face. I'm sad. Darcy came closest, I guess. What with hitting him with the very large truck. It will have to do.

Monica is summoned to the theater by another agent. Hmm nobody there. The agent follows. "I was sent by an old friend of your mother's." And the agent is a Skrull. "He heard you'd been grounded. He'd like to meet with you."

"Where?"

The Skrull points up. 

What was Fury's Skrull buddy's name? I don't recall. I didn't actually like the Captain Marvel movie. I felt like they told it backwards, and also they should have just cast a younger actor to play young Nick Fury. That bugged me. And I wanted more of Annette Benning’s character. Anyway … I guess we know where we’ll see Monica again. 

Well, that was fun. Like I said, I'm not sure what I expected from this series, just that it be some degree of fun, I guess. But it was much better than whatever I had half-envisaged. AND SADDER, MARVEL.

Thank goodness for the multi-verse. I'm sure we'll see some version of the boys again. And also Not!Vision, who is probably also Vision at this point, knocking around the world, trying to find himself. Talk about identity crisis. I feel you, brother. Stay safe, get plenty of whatever passes for rest for you!

See you guys in a couple of weeks for Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I WANT NO TEARS FROM THAT ONE! Unless it's tears of laughter. 

ETA: FOR THE SECOND POST CREDITS SCENE THAT I MISSED. Stupid Marvel hiding things from me. Thank you, @beelzebufo

Mountains, a mountain lake, a place I’d like to be right now. Wanda sits on the porch of her lonely little cabin. The tea kettle whistles and she goes inside. There’s a rattling and whispering from the other room, where the astral projection(?) of the Scarlet Witch reads the Darkhold and her children call for her. I don’t know, Wanda, seems dicey, that’s not a very nice book. 

FOR REAL THE END THIS TIME

[hockeybabestars]

Anything Quinn Hughes!!

i wrote half of this in a 2 am stupor and then reread it in the middle of the day when i wasn’t sleep deprived and decided to rewrite so here ya go lol, love my quinny boy.

48. we don’t like each other but we’re at a mutual friends christmas party and keep getting caught under the mistletoe together 

“I always thought the whole mistletoe thing was so cliche.” I rolled my eyes at the group, who had settled down after dinner and somehow ended up on the overemphasized holiday garnish.

“I think it’s kinda cute.” Emma clasped her hands together, “I don’t know, kind of gives you an excuse... or a push, to show someone you love them.” 

“You don’t need a plant to show someone you love them or have a reason to kiss them.” Elias started.

“Thanks Petey.” I nodded in approval.

Jake butted in, “How do you not like mistletoe?”

“I don’t know, it just feels like a ruse.” I bite sarcastically and Brock snorts out a sardonic laugh as if to mock me. I glared at him jokingly.

“Mistletoe is just supposed to add to the merriment of the season! Don’t be such a Scrooge (Y/N/N)!”  

“I’m not a Scrooge! I love Christmas just not mistletoe.”

“You just don’t like it because you’ve never been kissed under it.” Jake laughed. And Brock just raised his brows as if this was news to him. It wasn’t.

“Hey now, no need to throw jabs.” I chuckle. His teasing didn’t bother me in the slightest. I did however, take a quick glance at Quinn, who was only listening intently with a neutral expression, and then my eyes flickered to the greenery hanging in the doorway to the living room. Emma wasn’t joking. I swore I saw the damned thing everywhere in this house. I was being extra careful to make it out without getting caught underneath. Especially with him.

I didn’t know what it was about Quinn that just rubbed me the wrong way but maybe we could start with how it seemed he didn't care about even trying to make me feel included or part of the friend group whenever he was around. And every time I tried to make an effort with him I was ignored. Brock was my best friend. I was always around. You would think that Quinn could at least try to meet me halfway? It didn’t help that I harboured a teensy crush on him when we first met. But that all dissipated into awkward silences and trying anyway to escape the others company, just for the fact that it was sheerly uncomfortable. I didn’t want to embarrass myself anymore than I had already in making an effort.

It was upsetting. Brock told me about him and from what I could tell it seemed like we would be great friends. It didn’t matter though, we were okay with being acquaintances at best. At least- I think I was. It didn’t matter that we didn’t talk or even like each other, whenever I saw him my stupid heart would flutter.

After our mistletoe debate, Brock got up to take his plate to the dishwasher and most of us followed. I was tucked in the far corner of the dining room, and I wanted to be last out so I could clear the doorway with ease.

Everyone had already made their way into the living room as I tried to quickly step through the doorway but Quinn tried to brush past me back into the dining room at the same time and it just didn’t work. He almost knocked the plate out of my hand, but a steady arm reached out to balance my teetering body. I looked up at him and tried to say something, but his hazel eyes looked different now, softer almost, than I had ever seen them. And for a split second I thought I may get lost in them, but then I realized we were under the mistletoe. By the time I looked back at him he had disappeared through the other side of the door and I was left with a dirty dish and the ghost of his hand on my hip. 

Confusion swirled around my brain. Was I thinking about- kissing him? No. Things with Quinn would stick to the status quo, no matter how badly I wished things were different between us, they weren’t. I needed to get that through my thick skull. 

I brought my plate into the kitchen to see Brock slaving over the dishes. “Dish duty huh?” I handed him my plate but then started loading the ones he rinsed off into the empty dishwasher.

He smiled, graciously accepting my tag team, “I offered.”

“Of course you did.” I grinned at my best friend's kindness, “-so well mannered.”

“Hey-“ he said, pointing a fork at me, “my mother raised me right!”

I saw Quinn pass through the doorway into the living room and my eyes trailed after him, but quickly glanced back to Brock. Apparently I wasn’t as slick as I thought.

Brock nodded his head in that general direction, “What's up with you two?” He had a hint of mirth in his tone as he finished rinsing the last dish off and handed it to me. I put it in the washer and hopped on the counter after I started it. “I dunno, He always ignores me? I guess I feel like I did something wrong to make him not like me. Ya know?”

“(Y/N),” Brock looked at me as if he knew something I didn’t and leaned against the counter, “trust me, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Well then why doesn’t he talk to me? I’ve tried so many times and it never sticks. He looks like he’s bored of me the minute I enter a room.” I frown and cross my arms. It was a little frustrating.

“I think he’s a little shy around you that’s all.” Brock smiles.

“If he was just ‘shy’ I think he would’ve come around by now.” I joke, but still, “it’s been, what, 5 months since I met the guy? I think he’s said two words to me the entire time.”

“Are you mad about it?” My best friend grinned, “cause you sound like you’re mad about it.” He was more than smirking at this point but I knew he saw through me. He may be a little shit but I knew he wouldn’t tell my secrets to the the team. So I’m honest. “A little! It bothers me that he doesn’t talk to me, I can usually make conversation with anybody! But noooo not Quinn! He has to be all quiet and mysterious and chill and he probably doesn’t even like me!” I was making assumptions, but that’s all I had to go on.

Brock laughs, and I shove him a little bit. “So what I’m hearing is, that crush you had before, never really went away.”

I shook my head. I hated how he had me pegged. “Don’t worry about it (Y/N/N),” he patted me on the shoulder, “I’m sure he’ll come around.” He smirked and headed for the living room and all I could do was follow.

I swung my legs down over the counter and went into Stech’s living room. Everyone was piled onto the couch to watch a Christmas movie. But the only seat left was on the end. Next to Quinn. I awkwardly walked over and quietly asked if I could sit next to him. He only nodded. We were watching The Grinch and I could hear his mumbling as I sat down next to him “how fitting.”

“Is it because of the mistletoe thing?” I whispered as I tried to get comfortable but there was quite literally no room. I finally gave up and when I looked at him, his eyes were wide.

“What?” his voice was low and there was a deep line furrowing his forehead.

“Are you calling me a grinch because I said I didn’t get the point of it?” I wasn’t mad per sei, this was the most he had ever talked to me, and I was going to pick his brain. I had no choice but to lean against him all squished on the couch and his body was stiff as a board.

“Oh.” a little tension released, “No, I mean, I don’t get why you don’t get it, but then again, I don’t get a lot of things about you.” It was meant to be an insult I’m sure, but his voice went soft and curious, and I wasn’t looking at him, but I could tell he was looking at me for some sort of answer. I felt like maybe whispering these things in a room full of people watching The Grinch maybe wasn’t the best time to give answers, but maybe it was my only shot to figure him out. 

At least the volume on the movie was all the way up.

“Like what?”

He leaned over to make sure I was the only one who could hear, but his thigh pressed into mine more and it felt like my whole body was on fire from the proximity, “I don’t get how you’re always so cheerful. People don’t bring you down. You always stay positive no matter what you go through, no matter how the team plays, any situation always has a bright side with you.”

I could feel my cheeks heat up at that. “Doesn’t always feel that way.” I mumbled. “I didn’t know you noticed.” I thought he never noticed me as a person, even something as minimal as my attitude.

It was his turn for his cheeks to go red and he quickly muttered, “I don’t get how you don’t get mistletoe.” 

I grinned, “I think it’s annoying. Just an excuse for pda.” He looked taken aback, “I didn’t know you were such a big fan of mistletoe.” I teased, nudging him for extra measure, and as I glanced back I could see the edge of his mouth curve upwards just a little. And I’m sure the beating of my heart intensified. Just a smidge. Maybe enough for him to hear.

I needed a break before I said something I would regret and screw up the progress we’ve made. I got up from my spot and headed to the bathroom. And on my way back I bumped into someone for the second time tonight and it startled me, “Brock, I swear if you’re trying to scare me-“ but when I looked up it was Quinn again. His brows were furrowed and he looked like he had something on the tip of his tongue.

I was a little confused, “Are you okay?”

He looked up and I followed his gaze to a different looking mistletoe hanging above us for the second time tonight.

“I Uh-“ he shook his head, “no umm.”

I was hesitant, “are you su-“ and in a second his lips were covering mine and I didn’t know I needed them so much till now, but I do. I really do.

He pulled me in closer and we leaned against the wall in the hallway. I could feel him smiling as his lips hungrily glazed over mine and after a moment he pulled back with a big grin spreading across his face. I was smiling too. “I don’t think I hate the mistletoe anymore.” I joked, pulling him in again, tasting peppermint on his lips and sinking in to the feeling of his body pressing against mine. 

I allowed myself to forget about the fact that this was way out of left field and I didn’t really even know why he kissed me. “Wait.” I pulled back again, placing a firm hand on his chest. I glanced down to his pink lips that already seemed to be a little swollen from tracing over mine. As much as I liked the sight, I was a little confused. “I thought you didn’t like me?” 

Quinn furrowed a brow at that. “Why did you think that?”

I laughed at that. I really did. “You never talk to me! You always disappear when I come around! I swear the first time I met you, you shook my hand and I never heard a word from you again.”

Quinn toyed with my hand, swinging our joint fingers back and forth between us. He spoke quietly, but with such clarity it was astounding, “I was nervous around you. I’m not the best at talking about, anything really, especially feelings. I didn’t know how to talk to you so I figured if it was best that I just… didn’t, but, I wish I had done things a little differently.” He shrugged, gaze not leaving the ground. “I guess what I’m trying to say is I like you, (Y/N). And I would really like to get to know you, instead of ignoring you.” He half smiled and flicked his eyes back up to me.

 My breath caught in my throat for a second. I still couldn’t believe what he was saying, “you-“ I pointed, “you like me?”My brows furrowed and he nodded. But I only shook my head in disbelief. Before I could say anything else he pulled me flush against him again. He ducked his head down and kissed me softly, as if he was savoring the taste of my lips and pulled back way too soon. I couldn’t get enough.

“How many times do I have to show you?” He chuckled but the way his lips curved up was genuine. He meant it. I could see it in his eyes. He liked me.

“A million.” And he peppered light kisses all around my lips and cheeks and nose and forehead until I was giggling.

I heard a voice and I turned to see Brock peeking down the hall at us with just a knowing look. “Go away Boeser!” I laughed and he just had a stupid grin plastered on his face as he disappeared back into the living room.

“Go on a date with me?” Quinn asked nervously.

I turned back to him, “okay.” I said softly.

“You still think it’s just for pda?” He motioned to the mistletoe hanging above us.

And I shrugged and he pulled me back to him, “yeah.”

He smiled, still leaning down till he was level with me, “only fair.”

[jasiper]

First, your chapter of NQF ruined me LOL. I actually started to hate Jason for a bit. But I was scrolling through your tags and I saw you headcannoned Grace and Jackson babies?? Are they for your AUs? Also how did you choose their names? Seen so many HCs about their kids on tumblr but yours seem the most fascinating because the names seem to have so much meaning behind them, so care to explain more in detail?

Also same anon as before but what made you come up with all the baby stuff! And like I mentioned before, there are so many baby headcanons but how did you come up with the Grace and Jackson babies and make them the way they were (personality and all)?

the grace babies were a product of mine and tiff’s brainstorming, and then we completed them, we knew we needed next gen all around, so we pulled emma on board for the jackson babies! (that and of course our kids have sex. lots and lots of sex. shoutout to jasiper and percabeth for boning to give us these kiddos!)

jason and piper wanted to give their kids names with meaning, so when their first born is a son, there’s no question - he’s being named after grandpa tom. the middle name, miles, means ‘soldier’ in latin, but in greek it means ‘destroyer’. tommy grew up alongside nic so naturally these two are snarky lil shits. he has a flirtatious personality and definitely flirts with nic. nic combusts. overall he’s just a really good kid, he just goes along with nic’s antics (let’s be real, these kids both initiate their jokes and the other acts shocked when it happens). he will fight for lara, though. he can call her stupid, but the second someone else says it, the gloves are off.

lara means ‘shining’ in latin and happy in greek, another greek/roman derived name (another nod to their parents circumstances!). shae means ‘full of majesty’, which tiff and i both thought was so pretty for our gal. personality wise, lara looks put together like piper, but in reality is an awkward mess like jason. she tries hard to follow in her dad’s footsteps by being a good fighter, but little does she know she is like her dad in the littlest ways as well. she is all for justice and hates bullies just like jason. what i am trying to say is she is jason 100%.

nicholas means ‘people of victory’, and he is percy and annabeth’s victory; after tartarus they were told to aim for little victories, like sleeping through the night. but nic is their big victory. they get a family. paul is a great stepdad, so being their firstborn son, it seems like the most appropriate middle name. nic is a nice boy, that’s his defining trait. he may pull pranks with tommy, but overall he is The Sweetest Boy and so protective over his lil sisters and his cousins.

olivia obviously means ‘olive’, not only a nod to athena but a symbol of percy and annabeth’s relationship- it’s an olive branch between poseidon and athena, the two camps, etc. her middle name is sally of course because you cannot tell me percy jackson would not name one of his children after his mother. olivia is kinda a hothead being a middle child and all. she butts with annabeth a lot despite their close relationship, and percy is the only person who can calm her down (and call her livvy, it’s canon). she also has sally’s brand of snark, meaning it isn’t always present, but when it is, it’s savage. also Has No Impulse Control.

sophie means ‘wisdom’ and lynn means ‘lake’ (can someone say best underwater kiss of all time?). she’s the youngest so she has pretty thick skin, but overall is an anxious child. her parents notice this early on, so she gets help really early on. sophie hates being babied and only accepts it if it’s from her older siblings. she is like her older brother and is a sweet kid. fuck with someone she loves and she will send her siblings on them, but overall she is a sweetie.

[amusewithaview]

The Dragon of Hell’s Kitchen

IN WHICH @shu-of-the-wind AND I ARE MUTUALLY TERRIBLE AND ENJOY TORTURING MATT MURDOCK MORE THAN IS SAFE, SANE, OR REMOTELY HEALTHY.  Or, when two authors of our particular bent get together, Matt Murdock S U F F E R S.

amusewithaview

OMG YES

i think we've surpassed Dom!Matt and gotten into territorial Dragon!Matt who is hoarding both hell's kitchen and his significant other

shu-of-the-wind

HE /KNOWS/ AND AS SOON AS HE GETS HIS SUB ALONE HE JUST

HANDS EVERYWHERE

AND "WHO DO YOU BELONG TO"

yeah basically he's a dragon xD

This Is My Person Do Not Touch

amusewithaview

YES BASICALLY

matt would be like hi yes these are my people, do not touch and that is MINE, DO NOT TOUCH

shu-of-the-wind

DO! NOT! TOUCH!

DO YOU NOT SEE THE HICKEYS

amusewithaview

like there are a bunch of "MINE"s but there are levels of how fucked up you'll be if you stray over that line

shu-of-the-wind

YUUUUUUUUUUUUP

(consider now: weredragon Matt Murdock

Matt who is half dragon and can't shift and now all his instincts are driven right into This Is My City You Don't Touch)

amusewithaview

I AM CONSIDERING

the dragon of hell's kitchen, half myth and all monster

shu-of-the-wind

(....Matt who maybe has gleaming red scales up his spine from the small of his back to the middle and over one of his shoulders)

amusewithaview

do not go out after dark if you've got mischief on your mind

shu-of-the-wind

He can smell it and he'll scorch it right out of you

amusewithaview

i am grinning the evilest of grins right now

shu-of-the-wind

I'm glad

(also: the horns are real

He shifts when he goes out at night and those horns are /real/)

amusewithaview

i slightly want a crossover with my dragon!darcy fic where they meet and greet and it's very amiable because no overlapping in hoards yes, good

shu-of-the-wind

!!!!!!!!!! Yes omg xD

No overlapping in hoards, all is well

shu-of-the-wind

We will get along fantastically so long as you don't touch my hoard

amusewithaview

OH MAN, YOU KNOW WHO WOULD BE THE BONE OF CONTENTION BETWEEN THEM???

JENNIFER WALTERS

shu-of-the-wind

ABSOLUTELY

Darcy: ....mine.

amusewithaview

because she is bruce's cousin and, while not a scientist, very smart and also hulkified

BUUUUUUUT

shu-of-the-wind

Matt: I FOUND HER /FIRST/

amusewithaview

she's a lawyer and hangs in the kitchen

YES

shu-of-the-wind

Jenn: OH MY GOD BOTH OF YOU /FUCK OFF/ (jk she loves them but being a tug of war toy between two dragons is not fun)

amusewithaview

jen has to deal with two dragons snapping and snarling over her and also OBSESSIVELY TRYING TO CARE FOR HER WHEN SHE GOES ON RESEARCH BINGES HELP BRUCE STOP LAUGHING AT ME

shu-of-the-wind

Skdjdjfhsjbfjed

amusewithaview

bruce: *sips tea darcy has flown in for him from india*

shu-of-the-wind

Matt who will come in to her office with food and /glare/ in his way until she eats it

amusewithaview

tony: shhhhh, just let it happen

shu-of-the-wind

Darcy who turns up without warning and books of English common law she had flown in from Dover

amusewithaview

darcy makes care packages with tea and coffee other assorted nonsense and then makes the saddest most manipulative puppy eyes if they go unused and somehow she always KNOWS

shu-of-the-wind

YUUUUUUUUUUUUP

amusewithaview

matt HATES darcy's little sisters because they like taunting him and they visit REGULARLY

shu-of-the-wind

SNORTS

(she might have set them on him deliberately)

("Darcy says stop stealing from her hoard."

"Stop setting my paperwork on fire.

amusewithaview

darcy totally wouldn't do that, honest, she just pointed out that there was another dragon in the city and that it would be proper to pay respects oh and have you guys met foggy?  YOU SHOULD MEET FOGGY

shu-of-the-wind

SNORTS

BLESS

Foggy who was the first member of Matt's hoard after Jack Murdock died and so he's just like

So used to being fuss over /constantly/

(Matt's hoard is in broad terms Hell's Kitchen but he takes special care of the people closest to him)

amusewithaview

foggy does not realize that darcy's sisters and/or mother are not eyeing him up as potential hoard but as potential MATE

shu-of-the-wind

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Matt /does/ and he doesn't have a clue how to feel about it

amusewithaview

on the one hand MINE and on the other hand he is... oddly proud of foggy?  and also having foggy spawn around for the rest of forever sounds delightful?

MATT IS SO CONFLICTED

WHAT IS HIS LIFE

shu-of-the-wind

....goddamn now I want to do a dragon!Matt au with regular human Darcy whoops

amusewithaview

why do you want regular human darcy (not that i am objecting)

shu-of-the-wind

I'm not good enough at smut to do the BDSM au xD

Mostly to differentiate from your dragon Darcy au xD I think

amusewithaview

I BEG TO DIFFER THANKS

shu-of-the-wind

Although witch!Darcy with dragon!Matt could be super interesting

amusewithaview

YOU DO SOME OF THE BEST SLOW-BURN AND UST IN THE BUSINESS

shu-of-the-wind

sksjdjsjhdjsjdbejd

JEJDJSNFBJSBFJENDNJABFJSJD

LIES

amusewithaview

witch!darcy who totally thinks dragon!matt is warning her away from his territory and doesn't realize he's trying to hoard her until he's neck-deep in her life and she tries to run but WHOOPS, TOO LATE, YOU DONE BEEN BAGGED AND TAGGED GIRL

I ONLY SPEAK THE TRUTH

shu-of-the-wind

Re the dragon thing YUP HE LIIE

HE SMELLS HER WITCHINESS FROM ACROSS THE DAMN CITY AND WHEN SHE SHOWS UP IN THE KITCHEN ONE NIGHT ALL HIS INSTINCTS /SCREECH/

shu-of-the-wind

AND HE JUST STARTS GIVING HER THINGS AND TURNING UP OUT OF NOWHERE AND BEING AWKWARD AND GLOOMY AND HIGHLY DEFENSIVE OF HER FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN TO IRRITATE HER

(or so she thinks)

amusewithaview

witch!darcy slowly acclimating to being part of a dragon's hoard and grumbling all the while, ignoring foggy's shit-eating grin because she's not sure of the source, finally granting that she is being hoarded and bitching about it and foggy spills the: actually he's COURTING you beans and she flips out all over again

shu-of-the-wind

And then WHOOPS

SNORTS

YEAH BASICALLY

amusewithaview

YES PLEASE I LOVE THIS MAKE IT A THING PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP I WILL WRITE YOU A RECIPROCAL THING PLEASE

shu-of-the-wind

!!!!!!!!!! DEF CAN DO

I have class at two tomorrow but I can write before that xD

amusewithaview

LOL - no deadline, i am working on a thing i owe emma/waffles now because she wrote me a porn and then requested a pregnancy fic but i gotta rewatch FF: rise of the silver surfer first

shu-of-the-wind

Witch!Darcy who might be able to cast any spell she wants in the technomagical realm but getting a dragon off her back is fucking iMPOSSIBLE

(The first time she does healing magic on him and sees all those scales up his back and all the scars like she realizes she doesn't /want/ him to leave her be, now)

amusewithaview

*snort* and then getting a dragon off her back is LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE once he gets a ~taste of her in a physical and not magical way

shu-of-the-wind

Y U P

(dragons bite during mating)

amusewithaview

OF COURSE THEY DO

shu-of-the-wind

Darcy starts getting /very/ proud of the bite marks on her shoulders

amusewithaview

darcy has three or four patches of red scales she has to keep hidden because sometimes when matt bites WITH INTENT it leaves actual permanent marks

shu-of-the-wind

Y u p

amusewithaview

:D

shu-of-the-wind

(the first time /she/ bites /him/ he loses his goddamn mind)

amusewithaview

i just want all of the grumbly matt and reluctant/oblivious darcy while foggy knows EXACTLY what's going on

shu-of-the-wind

Foggy teases the living shit out of Matt when Darcy's not there

amusewithaview

darcy all: I DO NOT NEED A DRAGON IN MY LIFE THANKS BYE

matt: YOU DO AND HIS NAME IS M-A-T-T

shu-of-the-wind

"I don't get why dragons don't just /say/ something instead of all this fussing."

Matt: /growls

amusewithaview

matt: i give you permission to stay in hell's kitchen (dragon translation: if you move into my territory you're MINE)

shu-of-the-wind

YUP

Y U P

consider: Darcy moves out of the tower because she keeps fucking up Tony's equipment by casting spells with it and the first night in her new apartment in Hell's Kitchen the Dragon shows up and just kinda

shu-of-the-wind

Glowers at her for a bit

amusewithaview

foggy: is gleeful but also slightly concerned re darcy because he knows matt's proclivities (that thing with the necromancer's daughter in college was super trippy)

shu-of-the-wind

(Matt's brain, shrieking: MINE! MINE!! MINE!!!!! NOW MINE IN MY HOARD MINE I DON'T CARE IF SHE'S A WITCH AND THUS DANGEROUS M I N E)

amusewithaview

foggy: meets this grumbly witch with colorful knit hats and scarves and suddenly understands why matt is coming home with TONS of skeins of colored yarn

shu-of-the-wind

sjdjrjdjrjd

He leaves it on her fire escape every day until it rains and then he starts leaving it at her doorstep and Darcy just /sighs/

amusewithaview

foggy: sidles up to matt, "those don't even match"

matt: *twitches violently*

shu-of-the-wind

Because does he /have/ to do this with such /nice/ yarn

(Matt who buys yarn purely on feel because it's his dream to have something made by his witch and he couldn't stand it if it were scratchy)

amusewithaview

darcy: dude, stop leaving passive aggressive commentary on my sartorial choices

matt: you mean?  presents? 

darcy: what?

matt: *silently glowers and slinks away without explaining*

foggy: *dies laughing*

shu-of-the-wind

(also, he has a vague idea that softer is better quality)

S N O R T S

Matt is huffy for like a week

Because they were /presents/ goddammit

amusewithaview

matt finally finds a present that darcy WILL accept and spends like a week preening and joyful and then darcy shows up and wards his office to hell and back while he's out (this is where she meets foggy) because she has some harebrained idea that the present confers a DEBT and she knows better than to be indebted to a DRAGON

shu-of-the-wind

Matt who turns up one day with this really gorgeous set of knitting needles and leaves them on her desk and she's just

Is this an apology or????

/wards everywhere

amusewithaview

only it turns out that now she's just surrounded matt's workspace with the scent and taste of her magic so he's literally inundated ALL THE TIME with how talented and awesome she is and HE CANNOT STAND IT

shu-of-the-wind

Matt who has to /walk through her wards/ on his way in and out of the building every day and his knees give out every time

shu-of-the-wind

Matt just /whines/ and Foggy is like

Just write her a love letter or something you psychotic lizard

shu-of-the-wind

(Karen thinks all of this is fucking hilarious)

SJFJDJJFJED DARCY REALIZING KAREN HAS MAGIC AND WINDS UP TAKING HER AS AN APPRENTICE AND MATT'S JUST LIKE

HE'S SO PROUD WHEN KAREN MANAGES TO CAST SPELLS BUT ALSO NO YOU'RE MESSING UP DARCY'S WARDS

NOOOOOO

amusewithaview

matt shows up at her place and just stares at her with intent until she opens her window:  WHAT DO YOU WANT 

matt: *literally just breathing her in*

darcy: *hello, anyone home???*

matt: thank you for the warding, it's giving karen a headache though

darcy:  ???? i need to check on soemthing

darcy: so karen is a budding witch and also she's now my apprentice bye

matt: WHAT.  W H A T. NO

shu-of-the-wind

(Matt winds up being a cunning lil lizard and showing up at her bedroom window every night to "check on Karen's progress"

amusewithaview

karen's first project is putting wards on the office and she layers them with darcy's which is totes cool because since darcy is stealing matt's secretary she OWES him again so she goes and WARDS HIS APARTMENT BUILDING

shu-of-the-wind

Really just to get himself covered in her smells and her magic)

amusewithaview

MATT IS UNDONE

shu-of-the-wind

HE IS THE BIGGESY MESS

The only time he's a bigger mess is when Darcy takes it upon herself to make a protection charm for him

Laid into a cross made out of sterling silver and /drenched/ in her smells

And he's just like

HER MAGIC IS ALL OVER ME ALL THE TIME

amusewithaview

darcy does not realize that she is now part of matt's hoard until some big climactic event hits the city and he FINDS HER and takes her someplace SAFE with foggy and karen and a few others and darcy looks around and puts two and two together and goes NOPE, GOTTA GO VISIT MY GRANDMA OUT OF STATE FOR A WHILE

matt is like a cat wearing a catnip collar

shu-of-the-wind

Y u p

He keeps /playing/ with it

amusewithaview

foggy: "you're gonna go blind...er"

karen: *snorts*

shu-of-the-wind

(Darcy's grandma is just like. Mi amor, you have a dragon willing to do /anything/ for you. Get on that boy.)

amusewithaview

darcy's grandma: honey, you got yourself into this mess, might as well make the best of it.

shu-of-the-wind

Yuuuuuuuuuuuup

amusewithaview

darcy is still in violent denial of matt's fuzzier feelings and only JUST THEN accepts that she is in a hoard and maybe friends with a dragon

the difference between darcy who thinks she is grudgingly allowed in the dragon's space and darcy who realizes she is hoarded and FRIENDS with the dragon is lots of magic.  and hugs. and matt S U F F E R S

shu-of-the-wind

(Matt who /freaks out/ when she comes back into the borders of the Kitchen and basically flies to crash into her and drown in her smells because YOU CAME BACK YOU CAME BACK YOU CAME BAAAAAACK)

shu-of-the-wind

He might possibly bury his face in her hair and breathe as deep as he can each time

amusewithaview

darcy: oh my god are you like this every time somebody leaves and enters your territory?

 matt: no

foggy: YES

karen: *looks at foggy skeptically*

foggy: college was... weird.

shu-of-the-wind

(there was an incident after Foggy went on study abroad that they prefer not to discuss)

amusewithaview

YES

foggy escaped their dorm room eventually, but he was wearing matt's clothes and ONLY matt's clothes for like a week.  MATT IS MUCH SMALLER THAN HIM AND IT WAS AWKWARD

shu-of-the-wind

Sidifueud and Darcy gets used to the idea of being friends and then like. Possibly Kitty Pryde (ironically, a dragon were herself) shows up and is like

Girl that boy has been wooing you for months

Do you have any idea

You're driving him /nuts/

amusewithaview

He has basically done the dragon equivalent of lighting fireworks in the shape of MARRY ME and simultaneously peeing around her in a circle and also literally carving out his heart and presenting it to her

like, he gave her SCALES to use in her spells

HIS SCALES

darcy: ...but i used the scales on wards FOR HIM

shu-of-the-wind

Kitty is /astounded/ when she hears that because oh my /god/ do you have any idea how we /feel/ about our scales

They're chips of our /souls/ basically

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kitty: *sees the wards and HOWLS with laughter because, seriously, that poor boy*

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Darcy: ....but... Matt...no...that's...I'm in his hoard, I'm not... you're--

Kitty: honey that boy would actually throw himself into ice for you and that could kill him

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kitty: next time you see him i want you to put both your hands on his cheeks and hold him and then see what he does

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darcy: whyyyyyyy?

darcy: wait do you think he's gonna... kiss me or something?

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Christ Matt would just fuckin drop into the floor his knees go out so fast

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kitty: i think he's gonna go catatonic

kitty: and it will be HILARIOUS

kitty: i'm gonna take pictures

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Sjdjdjsjdhsjdj Darcy doesn't work up the nerve for the whole day and then she just kinda does it in a joke way but Matt is like

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darcy: *firmly* you're wrong, and i'm gonna prove it

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Suddenly and completely high on life holy shit this is the /best best thing/

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matt just... is completely still but also vibrating so hard darcy's arms shake

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like he's going to burst out of his skin but also he is incandescently HAPPY

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And his eyes are /huge/ and he's just

There's this really slow smile that turns into something huge and brighter than she's ever seen on him

And then /whoops/ her heart's gonna burst

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I KIND OF WANT MORE DARCY DENIAL BECAUSE A RELATIONSHIP WITH A DRAGON IS *FOREVER* AND ALSO HE NEEDS TO DO MORE WOOING NOW THAT SHE REALIZES THAT'S WHAT HE'S DOING, LIKE - DOES HE WANT KIDS?  HOW BIG IS HIS HOARD?  HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE IN HIS HOARD?

what does it mean for HER and her MAGIC if she mates to a dragon?

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Y U P

amusewithaview

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS, MATT

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Darcy like

Tears her hands away and /bolts/

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Because SHIT IF KITTY IS RIGHT THEN

UM

U M M

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matt is literally too stunned to chase her

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Foggy: ... what'd you do now?

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like he just kind of stands there and SWAYS for a minute

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Matt: ???!???!?!!?!?

Matt who essentially has just had Darcy say "yeah you can court me if you figure your shit out" with her hands and then she panicked and ran away

He's overloaded

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kitty hunts darcy down: you're going to have to talk to him

darcy: i know, that's the mature thing to do -

kitty: well, yeah, that too, but i meant that he's going to hunt you down sooner rather than later and you're gonna wanna be prepared

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Aidjdiej Matt who like

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darcy: hunt... me down?

kitty: if this was a couple centuries ago you would have been stuck in the back of a cave or castle until you didn't smell like anything BUT HIM and then MAYBE you'd get outings sometimes if the wind was right but luckily dragons have grown as a species

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He holds off until Kitty leaves Darcy alone because she's in /his hoard/ but Kitty is also better at breathing fire than him

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darcy: ???!!!!?!!

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Darcy: I will set his tail on fire if he tries that with me.

Kitty: You already have him mostly trained it's fine

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kitty:  oh honey that's encouragement.  use ice if you need to get the point across

shu-of-the-wind

HEJFHHEJDD OKAY BUT

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I HAVE THIS MENTAL IMAGE OF DARCY HURLING ICE CHIPS FROM A CUP AT MATT WHENEVER HE DOES SOMETHING SUPER DUMB

LIKE, JUST, HANDFULS OF ICE

shu-of-the-wind

AFTER THEY GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER DARCY WILL JUST FORM ICE IN HIS CLOTH WHEN HE'S BEING AN ASSHOLE

AND YUP

Y U P

HANDFULS OF ICE AND SNOW

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and matt is just PAINED like "darcy this melts and gets wet everywhere"

darcy: THEN STOP BEING A DUMBASS

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"STOP BEING A DIPSHIT"

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darcy: I WILL FREEZE EVERYTHING YOU LOVE INCLUDING MYSELF

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Skdjjejdjejdj

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darcy: *encompasses her whole body in a two inch layer of frigid air

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Winter is the worst and best season

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Darcy comes in with snow in her hair

And Matt's just like

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but she also wears lots of knitwear

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I MUST P MY HANDS EVERYWHERE RIGHT FUCKING NOW

*PUT

Darcy, bemused: I have heating spells, you know

Matt: I AM GOING TO BREATHE ON YOU ANYWAY

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matt: *high on darcy smell and darcy feel*  LET ME WARM YOU UP MY WAY

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I'm still just

The first time Darcy bites him Matt loses his fucking mind

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:D

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Like

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it's worse than that time darcy used one of his leftover scales to make herself a protection amulet

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He loses his /fucking mind/ and won't stop making little growly chirpy noises and nipping at her and hands /everywhere/ and Darcy's like

Holy shit that's a thing for you, huh

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matt: *literally beyond speech*

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He can't talk for /hours/

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darcy: *adds play-biting to her repertoire of 'how to drive matt absolutely nuts'*

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It's only after when Darcy kinda rests her fingers to the mark she left like "sorry I bruised you" and Matt is like

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darcy: proceeds to gently nip his fingers in public WHENEVER the opportunity arises

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"You should never ever ever apologize for that"

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matt: both hates and LOVES this

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"Please bite me all the time"

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matt: MORE BRUISES PLZTHX

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MATT IS SO FRUSTRATED BECAUSE HE WANTS TO DRAG HER INTO HIM AND NIBBLE AT HER BUT HE /CAN'T/

IT'S NOT HUMAN AND HE HAS TO PRETEND HE'S HUMAN BUT HOLY /CHRIST/

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and darcy just GRINS at him and she is SHOWING HER TEETH and he CAN'T DO ANYTHING

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I'm gonna have to write this in the morning goddamn

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and if she's feeling EXTRA mean, she'll kinda tap at him with her magic too and matt is just: total shutdown, cannot function, has to be guided like he's ACTUALLY FUNCTIONALLY BLIND AND DEAF AND MUTE TO THE WORLD

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Y U P

amusewithaview

I LOVE ALL OF THIS

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She gets frisky on snow days especially and will tap at him with her magic to kinda give him an excuse to cling to her as close as possible

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BUT ALSO I NEED TO GO TO WORK IN THE MORNING SO I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP NOW

shu-of-the-wind

Okay I have to go to bed but please consider:

Darcy: I get to keep my job. And do what I want. I'm not gonna be in the apartment all day.

Matt: *buzzing out of his own skin* Obviously.

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i honestly feel like we should share this entire convo with the world because it's hilarious

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Darcy: You can't growl when people talk to me.

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Matt: sounds fake but okay.

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Matt, through his teeth: Fine.

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Darcy: And you can't bite my neck in public. Or my ears. Or anything really.

Matt: KEJDJEJFHEJDJJWD

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Darcy: You also can't growl when people touch me INNOCENTLY.

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Matt, darkly: No touch is innocent.

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Darcy: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, DO NOT LAWYER ME HERE.

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Matt: I DON'T LIKE OTHER SMELLS ON YOU.

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Darcy: THEN HELP ME SHOWER THEM OFF.

Matt: ....this is an acceptable compromise.

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Darcy: THEN WHEN I GET HOME AT NIGHT YOU CAN SHOWER WITH ME OR SOMETHING IDK

Matt: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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/snorts

Darcy: ....you don't want me to stop doing magic or anything right because--

Matt: DO ALL THE MAGIC PLEASE OH MY LORD

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Matt: NEVER STOP YOUR MAGIC EVER

Matt: YOU SHOULD MAGIC ALL OF YOUR CLOTHES

Matt: AND MY CLOTHES

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ALL OF THEM

AND THE BLANKETS

AND THE WALLS

AND EVERYTHING

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MAGIC THE FRIDGE

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Matt: AND MAYBE COME REFRESH THE WARDS IN MY OFFICE ONCE A WEEK JUST IN CASE

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I DON'T CARE

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Matt: OR DAILY, DAILY IS FINE

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Darcy: ....but Karen.

Matt: DAILY.

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Matt: SHE NEEDS THE PRACTICE

Matt: YOU'RE ONLY HELPING HER

omg i need to SLEEP NOW

IT IS MIDNIGHT

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Darcy: ....or I could just. Ward you in the morning

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Matt: EVERY DAY?

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I'm sORRY I JUST LOVE THIS SO MUCH

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Darcy: ...sure?

Matt: SOLD.

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Darcy: It takes like ten minutes

Matt: /swoons

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Matt: SHOULD YOU REFRESH IT AT LUNCH TOO?

Darcy:...no.

Matt: *pouts*

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I can't stop laughing oh my god

BDSM turned into dragoncrack I love it

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other dragons cannot decide whether to laugh at him or be jealous of him

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(jealous. Definitely jealous.)

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and darcy has to meet all of the local dragons so matt can show her off and also so he can say HANDS OFF

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SNORTS

Frank Castle, sadly: ....I could use a witch.

Years later: Karen is a fully fledged witch and fond of his dumb ass for some reason.

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darcy: HAAAAAAVE YOU MET KAREN?

karen is like: this is my dragon.  he is an idiot.  and he bruises easy.  i love him.

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frank: *is always holding karen's flower no matter where they go*

frank: *literally has a necklace of flowers that karen made for him as a joke once, and then it turned into an actual protection ward and now he WON'T TAKE IT OFF EVER*

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FRANK LOVES HIS FLOWER NECKLACE

SO MUCH

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it is made of daisies and carnations

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THE TERRIFYING PUNISHER WITH DAISIES AND CARNATIONS AT HIS THROAT

NOBODY DARES COMMENT

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when he has to go into REALLY dangerous situations, karen breaks out the crown

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/clears throat

KEKFJEIFJISJFJS

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Oh My good

(go to beeeeeeeeeed)

amusewithaview

I KNOW

shu-of-the-wind

The flower crown is all daisies and thistles xD

amusewithaview

BUT THIS IS HILARIOUS AND NOW I AM PUNCHDRUNK AND I JUST

DRAGON MATT

WITCH DARCY

I WANT TO SEE HIM SUFFER

like you should literally name this fic "i burn, i pine, i perish"

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I WILL DO THE THING AND SEND YOU SNIPPETS

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O H M Y G O D

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and it should just be like 10,000 words of darcy making matt suffer

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SOLD

I AM SO DOWN

I WILL DO THE THING

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darcy makes matt suffer and foggy is LIVING

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Foggy is overjoyed

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like he is making popcorn for the entire supernaturally aware portion of hell's kitchen

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Foggy, the first time Matt comes back from failing hard at giving Darcy presents: ....new pick not working out?

Matt: Shut up.

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Foggy: ooooooo, feisty

Matt: /growls

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Foggy: What DO you get for the witch who has everything... and wants nothing to do with you?

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Foggy: You don't scare me, gecko boy

Matt: I'M NOT LISTENING

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Foggy: She's on Stark's payroll, pretty sure she could buy and sell us several times over.

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Matt: N O T L I S T E N I N G

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Foggy: Well maybe you should START listening AND using your WORDS.

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Matt slams the door and Foggy is just like

I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME

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USE YOUR WORDS, NOT YOUR NOSE

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Thor, meanwhile, is watching all of this from Stark Tower and COMPLETELY APPROVES of Darcy's new valiant protector.

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Thor shows up one day and is like

I HAVE SLAIN MANY MIGHTY DRAGONS BUT NONE HAVE HAD SO FINE A TASTE AS YOU

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Foggy: Does she smell as suspicious of your intentions as she looks? Because wow.  She thinks you're sketch as fuck, man.

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I AM CONTENT LEAVING MY LIGHTNING SISTER IN YOUR CARE

Foggy is /losing his shit/

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Matt:...*is slightly relieved he doesn't HAVE to fight for Darcy BUT HE WOULD DO IT IN A HEARTBEAT*

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HE WOULD FIGHT AND WIN

DEMIGOD OR NO

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FOR HER

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Darcy, at a distance: STOP MEASURING YOUR DICKS JESUS

Kitty: Honey, no, it's a dragon thing

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Foggy actually receives knitwear from Darcy before Matt does and he actually feels kind of bad about it but Matt just tells him to wear it because it's soft and perfect and ONE of them should get to wear something from her...

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Oh my god Matthew you dramatic child

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Foggy: .... are you... getting high off of my new scarf?

Matt: NO.

Foggy: I'm going to put this in the closet.

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Darcy like

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Foggy wraps the scarf around Matt's stuff because he is a Good Bro and then takes his stuff before Matt so Matt has plausible deniability.

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Eventually starts giving Matt knitwear

And Matt doesn't wear it

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Because he's /hoarding it/

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WHYYYYYYY

OMG YESSSSSSS

it is his pillow

and darcy thinks he doesn't like the pattern or something so she KEEPS TRYING and matt is just like YESSSSSS GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR KNITWEAR

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Matt: IT'S IN MY CLOSET

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Foggy: I'VE SEEN YOUR CLOSET, IT IS NOT IN YOUR CLOSET, YOUR CLOSET IS FULL OF LIES AND SO ARE YOU.

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Darcy eventually confronts him like

Dude if you don't want it I'll stop giving you knitwear

Matt, panicking, shows up the next day wearing gloves and a scarf and a hat

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none of them match even REMOTELY

all of them are weirdly worn out

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(and socks)

amusewithaview

ALSO, I want Matt to be slightly inexpressive in human form because stuff doesn't translate well but he's actually the MOST EMOTIVE DRAGON EVER like other dragons are like Dude, Chill, CONTAIN YOURSELF MATTHEW YOU ARE MAKING US LOOK BAD

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Darcy: ....wut

Matt: MOAR

HE'S THE CUDDLIEST DRAGON

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He like

He's the most expressive lil bean of a red dragon

He wiggles and his tail flicks around and he flares his wings and he has all these cues

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And in human form he's this walking stump

With no ability to express himself

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in dragon form he has an entire MANE of semi-flexible horns that retract and lay flat and puff up and do all sorts of things

and in human form he has fluffy hair

it doesn't translate well

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It really doesn't

Oh my god just

With that in mind

Matt racing to Darcy when she crosses back into his territory

But he's flying and running because dragon form is faster

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And whoops there's a massive horse sized red dragon aiming right for her should she run

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IF SHE RUNS THEN HE HAS TO CHASE HER AND NEITHER OF THEM ARE READY FOR THAT OH SHIT

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Darcy: YOU ARE NOT CRASHING INTO ME WITH CLAWS DUDE

CHASING GAMES OH GOD

MATT LOVES CHASE GAMES

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I HAVE TO GO TO BED

I CANNOT

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IT'S HIS MAIN FLIRTATION MECHANISM THAT ACTUALLY TRANSLATES

amusewithaview

I HAVE WORK AT 8:30AM

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I mean me too xD

shu-of-the-wind

Guh

GO

GO SLEEP

GO

GO

amusewithaview

GOOD NIGHT SHUU

shu-of-the-wind

GO

GO

GO

Gnight :3

amusewithaview

THIS HAS BEEN AWESOME FUN AND GOOD NIGHT!

shu-of-the-wind

I'll send you snippets

amusewithaview

YAAAAAAAS

OKAY GOOD NIGHT

shu-of-the-wind

SLEEP WELL

Today at 4:39 PM

amusewithaview

Honestly want to publish this conversation of dragons on tumblr

May I, please?

shu-of-the-wind

Of course of course

:3

amusewithaview

YAAAAAAAS WILL DO WHEN HOME

[flexi-lexi]

(/ω＼)ﾟ.+(〃ﾉωﾉ)ﾟ.+°50 More Interesting Questions

Rules: fill this out and tag at least one person you’d like to know more about! Or just fill it out! Or don’t! Answer only some of them! Make up your own questions! “What kind of requirement is that”, you ask? A reasonable one! Who am I to tell you what to do? Anything goes!

tagged by: NO ONE BUT @matsujunkie WANTS TO KNOW MORE ABOUT RANDOS SO HERE WE GO

1. What kind of food can’t you stand?: Bland food--unseasoned, monochromatic, flavorless food. Like, I legit feel a specific kind of depression when I eat flavorless food.

2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick?: Commuting to work because it’s such a waste of time. The dream is to walk across the street and just be at work, that’d be amazing tbh

3. Have you got any useless talents?:  I can type at like 94wpm lmao

4. If you could be really really good at one thing, what would it be?:  Public speaking--the sheer power behind good public speaking skills and general charisma is not to be underestimated.

5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking:  My bf let’s be real Also Emma Watson, Jay Park, T.O.P, Chris Pratt, Ryan Gosling, and Eiza González

6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid?:  I played, played, PLAYED all fuckin day. When I lived in my house in the Philippines, I felt like I always had a million things to do--I’m playing kickball in my garage, I’m playing dolls with my sister, I’m playing pretend chef with my mom, so many things. And when I think I’ve run out of things to do, I’ll just watch cartoons lol

7. What is something you’re proud of?:  I’m extremely proud of my family, especially my parents who worked extremely hard and overcame so much struggle so that my siblings and I could have a brighter future. 

8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate?:  Lack of basic compassion and consideration for others

9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower?:  I don’t often consider myself a leader, but people have always said I exude the qualities of one. I’ll only be a leader if a group needs a leader. Otherwise, I don’t think I’ve ever been a follower, I’m more of a collaborator.

10. What kind of student are/were you?:  I consider myself painfully average only because I hold myself to a painfully high standard. I think I did relatively well in high school and college, but I was always very hard on myself in high school for not getting straight A’s or not going straight to a reputable university. I’ve learned to ease up on myself in college. Instead, I learned how to be the laziest overachiever possible in college. My motto was, “What is the least amount of work I can do to still get an A- in this class???” lmao

11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life?: When I decided to sit next to some goody-two-shoes looking girl in 5th grade (lowkey because I was also a goody-two-shoes and I knew she wouldn’t judge me). We’ve been best friends for 15 years.

12. Name your most irrational fear/aversion:  Cockroaches and the dark

13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable?:  As much as she annoys me, Sakura from Naruto is probably the most relatable character because she’s someone who has so much potential but struggled so much to become a better version of herself. She annoyed me in her early days because she was so useless but I think that quality in her annoyed me so much because I’m also kinda useless and I hate that about myself haha

14. If you drink, what kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties?:  I’m the social butterfly drunk; I suddenly become an extrovert and I’m just annoying af because I just scream my words at everyone. Alternatively, sober me is typically a recluse at parties--I will hang out with my phone, anyone I actually know, or the resident pet. Which is why I tend to drink at parties--I take the term “social lubricant” quite literally.

15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone?: Yes, it’s the absolute fucking worst. I hate it. I have a tendency to give people the benefit of the doubt, but I’m trying to lower my expectations of people bit by bit until it’s at a safe level where I can look out for myself.

16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends?: 1 close friend, 200%

17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak?:  I am a neat-freak at heart and my dream is to stay that way, but I’m also a really lazy person who can’t be bothered to pick up after myself until something’s been on the floor for 5 months and I start to notice it again.

18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy:  A porch on a gloomy October day facing an autumn forest. Alternatively, the same porch but on an early July morning when the sun is just creeping up.

19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday?:  No kids. I’m very wishy washy about kids. I tell myself I don’t want kids, but I still think about it every once in a while. Most recently I think I’ve been having baby fever because I keep imagining what my child would look like if I had one with my bf and what kind of personality he or she would have and how they would call me as their mom (mommy? ma? nay? mi? who knows) and how cool my kid would be if I could get it to speak English, Tagalog, and Korean. I don’t know if this is just a phase or if it will only get worse and more insistent as I get older...

20. What was your favorite book as a child?:  The Thief Lord by Cornelia Funke

21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about:  Juicing??? Why are people so into juice and like expensive af juice??

22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated:  lol free education

23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose?:  Probably my papa’s grandpa, Alex Sr. Three generations named after him and I don’t know a thing about him, who he was or what he looked like.

24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday?:  Save a life

25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat?:  I generally prefer not to rock the boat. I wish I was more straightforward, but the reason why I’m not is because I tend to get very emotional over things on which I have a strong opinion, and that doesn’t help me state my case at all. I think I’m learning to be more outspoken, though, especially because certain things just touch a nerve with me.

26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in?:  My entire middle school life and parts of my high school life was a dumb fad tbh lol

27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for?:  Being punk/emo lmao

28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable?:  Conviction; the ability to stand up for what you believe in

29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? (For instance, people always get you things with ducks on them because you like ducks, etc.):  I guess it depends on the person or my situation? Like, my bf always gives me necklaces and he needs to stop my parents always give me furniture and household items because I’m always too poor to buy my own. But overall I don’t think I get any one particular gift on the regular...

30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones?:  If by “speak” you mean “learned and know subconsciously but too afraid to practice,” then yes I speak multiple languages aside from English: Tagalog, Japanese, and Italian. I really want to learn Korean next, but where to find time and money......

31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside?:  Probably the big city because I’ve always been a city girl and I easily get bored without stimulation. But I also tend to get irritated by excessive noise and hubub, so if I could get a suburb that’s closer to the city side (where there’s more to do than just eat burgers, watch movies, and go bowling), then yeah that’d be awesome.

32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving?:  The book All Quiet on the Western Front. I saw clips of the film adaptation in high school and thought it was the most boring thing in the world. But then I had to read the book in college and it nearly brought me to tears.

33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else?:  In my imagination, I crave attention and want to be the center of it. But irl I push that shit away because when the attention is on me I become awkward.

34. Favorite holiday?:  Christmas

35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously?:  I think in my heart I’m a Type B, spontaneous, go-with-the-flow type of person, but when I try to be that way I just get anxiety because my mind is too Type A to allow it to happen.

36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? (A tv show, book, series–anything.):  Italy, hands down.

37. What hobbies do you have?:  lol i hate this question because i’m reminded of how boring i am as a person watching TV, listening to music, reading, cooking, practicing makeup (a.k.a. watching makeup tutorials all day), occasional exercise, karaoke, eating, spending time with family

38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have?:  I really want to fucking fly but if it’s only “mildly useful” does that I mean my power will fail from time to time??? Because I am absolutely not down to fall at any point. So I guess invisibility? Because the power itself is mildly useful--what the fuck am I gonna do with it? Eavesdrop? Become a voyeur??

39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you:  It varies. 1) That I’m into cars (because people assume that girls aren’t interested in cars???) 2) That I’m a nerd (because I’ve learned to keep it on the DL lol) 3) That I wasn’t born here lmao (because apparently my English is “so good” lol bye)

40. Something that took you way too long to figure out:  That things pretty much never happen that way you plan or hope, but that things still somehow always fall into place.

41. Worst injury you’ve had?: All of my major injuries occurred when I was just a baby so I have no recollection of any of it. I think the worst was when a cookie jar fell and smashed on my tender two-year-old cranium lol

42. Any morbid fascinations?: Sure, maybe old-timey b&w crime scene photos, especially the super gruesome ones because when it’s b&w it’s somehow less nauseating to look at.  I also love “true” ghost stories and reading creepypastas and shit, even though I know it could potentially keep me up at night. Strangely enough, despite these fascinations, I still hate horror films. Go figure.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

43. Describe your sense of humor:  Lots of slapstick, good deal of self-deprecation, a little bit of sarcasm. Bonus: I have a great appreciation for dry humor, but I can’t do dry humor.

44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose?  As a historian, as much as I admire certain eras, I know better than to ask to be born in a time when I’m way more likely to contract polio or the bubonic plague or be enslaved by Spaniards. I also thoroughly enjoy modern conveniences such as running water and grocery stores LOL I think I want to be born in the ‘80s in the U.S. so I can experience the joy, excitement, and prosperity of the ‘90s in the U.S. It seems like a very minute difference given that I was born in ‘92, but I feel like I’ve missed out on a lot of the ‘90s because I was way too young to appreciate it.

45. Something you are irredeemably bad at:  ~ S P O R T S ~

46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through:  Being kicked out of the house lmao Forreal tho, it was an extremely tough and humbling experience, but I’m really happy to be independent. Strangely enough, I feel like I have a much greater sense of love and appreciation for my parents now that they’re not always breathing down my neck LOL

47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? (Neither tattoo can be removed or concealed with makeup, and the ugly tattoo will deeply offend anyone who sees it.):  Ugly tattoo in an inconvenient place. Because imho a tattoo in the middle of my face, regardless of the level of artistry, is an ugly tattoo anyway, and it’s one that I'll have a harder time concealing.

48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist?:  I’d like to think of myself as an optimist but I think I come off as a pessimist. Does that makes me a realist? I don’t know but I just told my bf to stop buying lottery tickets because he never wins. You tell me what that makes me lol

49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you?:  If someone ever told me I was “cool.” Because I’ve lived my whole life never thinking I was ever “cool.” Not “cool” as in “I want everyone to like me,” but “cool” like the way I look at someone who has accomplished something that changed the world or someone who stood their ground and gave no fucks about what others thought or someone with a fabulous and unique sense of style. If someone ever told me I was “cool,” to me it means they see something in me that’s admirable or even enviable, and I can’t even begin to fathom how they see those things in me but wow ok yeah cool I’ll take it thank you

50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you:  Over the years I’ve put up a front of being super happy-go-lucky, even though I’m actually not like that 100% of the time. So on days when I just don’t feel like engaging with people, people just assume I’m angry or sad about something like no I just don’t wanna talk to people rn bye

Tagging: anyone who wants to open up to me, @me because i find these things fascinating as hell