#it’s just. he’s like slightly worse brian laborne to me…..

[frogs-in3-hills]

every day i thank furuba for understanding that yuki is such an interesting character not just because of his journey in healing from his trauma from being abused by the family cult, but because he is deeply immature and stuck in his own head and v reliant on ideals of toxic masculinity. ultimately he had so much personal shit to worry about that him saying he sees tohru as a mom perfectly encapsulates the way he needed her as a supporter but also still puts her on a pedestal due to that aforementioned toxic masculinity. and while he doesn’t fully deal with that (or his kind of fucked gender feelings in general) he does realize that he can’t just suck up her support forever and so his growth is in part facilitated by his moving away from her comfort rather than clinging to her like a scared kid. just. man. love him. guy who confidently gives terrible advice and comes away from it so pleased with how he’s grown as a person. guy who is genuinely very kind but hasn’t gotten super good at the empathy thing yet. guy who is probably nonbinary but doesn’t really care about that rn

[felonytaxevasion]

For the record here are my other Undersider drunken karaoke night picks I think about this situation a normal amount (lie)

Round 1 - No One Has Added Underage Drinking To Their Daily Crime Journal Yet

Lisa - Lisa starts everyone off with California Girls because she is, in her heart, A California Girl She's Undeniable Daisy Dukes Bikinis on Top. Lisa is probably the closest thing the Undersiders have to a good singer but she's totally hamming it up here to break the ice in hopes Taylor will participate

Aisha - Every single Rihanna album has gone platinum in Aisha Laborn's bedroom and she will take any opportunity to make this fact known. I think she would pick Only Girl In The World because Aisha really feels like Rihanna made that one just for her specifically. Not a singer with technical expertise but she brings the most passion and joy to her performances

Brian - As stated in an earlier post he picks Bruno Mars Beautiful Girls All Over The World, possibly Just The Way You Are. He did not pick them to serenade Taylor specifically but at one point he does make eye contact with Taylor during the chorus and it embarrasses them both. Aisha pretends to vomit.

Alec - picks the exact same song as Brian and does it worse in every way. Intentionally makes eye contact with each of the Undersiders making sure to really draw out Brian's turn

Taylor - Peer pressured enough to participate but not enough to choose a song she actually likes and listens to in fear of being judged. She performs Fireflies by Owl City with real fireflies and it's equal parts charming and horrifying. Lisa cheers too loudly and Alec hides behind Brian and Rachel from the bugs. Taylor vows to never perform at karaoke again

Rachel - refuses to participate

Round 2 - Everyone is Slightly Tipsy

Lisa - Lisa performs Girls Just Want To Have Fun and gets really into it. She only hits half of the high notes but she tries really hard to hit all of them. It's the closest thing to an impressive performance any of them achieve all night

Brian - cuts in front of Aisha to perform Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Performs all nine minutes even while Aisha boos him and also sings the guitar solos. Experiences joy and whimsy for the first time in months

Aisha - Don't Trust Me by 3OH3. While singing the line "I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him" she gets too excited and flings a bracelet off knocking a glass off a table and shattering it. This does not slow her performance for even a second

Alec - Friday by Rebecca Black. Very pleased with the negative reaction this inspires. Aisha tries to chase him off the stage and the latter half of the song is just them wrestling for the microphone

Taylor and Rachel decline to participate and instead sit in the corner and whisper gay things the whole round

Round 3 - Completely Lost In The Sauce Wasted

Lisa - Incredibly Solemn and Serious rendition of Video Games by Lana Del Rey. Alec dims the lights and everyone sans Rachel wave their cellphone flashlights for her

Alec - Alec has spent the entire night lying and telling Aisha he can sing all the words to Rap God by Eminem. He messes up the words in the first verse immediately. Laughs through the rest of the performance and accidentally makes up a new word that becomes he and Aisha's new terrible "inside joke" they insist on saying every five minutes for the next month

Brian - Low by Flo Rida. Does a whole dance routine to go along with it. Everyone except Aisha has a GREAT time

Aisha - Super Bass by Nicki Minaj. High off the excitement of his last performance Brian performs along and completely steals the show. This leads to the first bout of drunken crying (Aisha. Immediately followed by Brian) followed by drunken declarations of love and affirmation

Eventually the affirmations lead to Taylor agreeing to singing one more song so long as every Undersider individually promises her they won't make fun of her. She picks This Is War by Thirty Seconds to Mars because she is a terrible angsty teenager in 2011 and she sings it very badly. Everyone stills cheers for her though and it is a very good finale

On the way home they get Rachel to agree to do the barks if the rest of them sing Who Let The Dogs Out acapella. This footage is captured by street cams and the footage of the teenage warlords walking down the street barking is presented as a "twisted intimidation tactic" by the PRT for the next three years

[krixwell-liveblogs]

You just needed one look at Aisha to know that she was going to be drop dead gorgeous when she had finished growing up.  All that said, though, she had a streak of hair bleached and some of that bleached hair had been dyed into a stripe of purple.  It was as though she had gone out of her way to look trashy, with ripped denim shorts over neon green fishnet leggings, and a strapless top I would hesitate to even call underwear.  Any envy I felt towards her was accented by an almost offended feeling, as far as how she was spoiling what she’d been naturally given.

Yeesh. Do I have to call in Fashion Jasper from over at Loreweaver’s blog again? I think I do.

“Am I interrupting?” she said, her tone vaguely mocking, as she gave me a look I couldn’t quite figure out.

Please don’t be a bitch, Aisha. Yes, I do want you to call these two out and force them to bumble their way through that situation, but please be the type to do it in a loving manner.

“Aisha,” Brian stood up, “What are you doing here?  You-” he stopped as a solid, heavyset black woman entered through the front door.  Where Aisha’s glance my way had been ambiguous, the look this woman gave me was anything but.  Disapproval, dislike.

Oh cod.

Ohh cod.

I think we’ve got a mother on our hands here.

I realized what I must look like, slightly sweaty, on the floor amid pieces of furniture, stomach showing, practically glowing with a pink blush.  I hurried to grab my sweatshirt and pull it on.

Sure, that’s not incriminating you further.

“Mr. Laborn?” the heavy woman said, “I’m afraid I expected you to be more prepared, but it seems like you’re in the middle of something.”

Well.

It’s not his mom. I guess that’s a good thing. But on the other hand, it seems they have run out of time, which is almost definitely worse than the mom alternative.

[junker-town]

Virginia Tech spoils Willie Taggart’s FSU debut

The Hokies were the better and luckier team. That’s a good way to live.

Fourth quarter

0:00

And the last five minutes go by pretty quickly. Tech fumbles again and recovers it again (that’s six of six on the evening, which you prrrrrrrobably can’t count on in every game), and Francois throws another pick. FSU finishes with eight more yards, and Tech finishes with 21 more points. What a huge win for Fuente’s Hokies. VT 24, FSU 3.

4:42

Laborn returns the Tech kickoff out to the FSU 25, reminding me that he made the most electric play of the game in the first half and hasn’t touched the ball since. Aaaaaand two plays later, Farley picks off another pass on another deep ball. VT 24, FSU 3.

5:11

Make that “leading by three touchdowns on the road.” The Hokies need just six plays to get past midfield, then Kumah catches a third-and-7 pass, breaks a leaping tackle, and rumbles 49 yards for a touchdown. The game was over when Akers got chased down, apparently. VT 24, FSU 3.

9:49

Guh. FSU comes out with a trick formation, and Akers, lining up at QB, screws up a read exchange and fumbles. Gaines responds. Tech ball.

There have been five fumbles in this game, and Tech has recovered all of them. Combine that with a special teams score (and a missed FSU field goal), and that’s certainly a pretty good formula for getting out-gained by nearly 100 yards and leading by two touchdowns on the road.

Also, this:

Florida State has run 11 plays inside Virginia Tech's 21-yard line for minus-11 yards and a lost fumble, not including a false start and a missed FG.

— Chris Vannini (@ChrisVannini) September 4, 2018

VT 17, FSU 3.

9:55

The injury timeout certainly allowed Tech to collect itself. Akers gets nothing on first-and-goal, and a quick pass to McKitty loses four. On third-and-goal from the 10, FSU calls timeout. You pretty much have to go for it on fourth down unless you lose more yardage (which, considering how this game has gone, is a reasonable possibility). VT 17, FSU 3.

11:45

Well then. Tech’s probably regretting not scoring in the third quarter. Akers finally gets the edge and bolts down the left sideline for 85 yards to the Tech 6. And as happened after basically every good FSU play in the first half, a Tech lineman comes up lame, conveniently preventing the Noles from using tempo. I always try to assume the best from teams, but if it’s not gamesmanship, it’s a pretty amazing coincidence. VT 17, FSU 3.

12:00

Man, Tech’s playing with fire here. Carroll muffed the punt, and then Savoy fumbles on a jet sweep. It bounces out of bounds, though, and once again Bradburn pins the Noles inside the 10. #FumblesLuck #GoodPunting

Average starting field position in the second half so far: VT 57.8, FSU 10.8. Goodness. Granted, part of that is because Tech hasn’t managed to score, but still. VT 17, FSU 3.

14:09

Francois gets time to throw deep but slightly overthrows George Campbell, then he doesn’t get time and barely gets away a short pass to Patrick. Another three-and-out, and after Carroll both muffs and recovers a low Tyler fumble, Tech will start at the FSU 41 with another chance to put the game away. VT 17, FSU 3.

Third quarter

0:00

Wow. Patrick has to break a tackle and fall forward just to avoid a safety on first down. The FSU line has no idea how to block Tech right now — minus-7 yards in the third quarter — and the Noles have 15 minutes left to figure something out.

20 consecutive plays in this game run inside FSU's 50. Let's go for 40

— College Football by SB Nation (@SBNationCFB) September 4, 2018

There’s field-tilting, and there’s that.

VT 17, FSU 3.

0:44

Wow, does FSU dodge a bullet. An offensive pass interference penalty pushes the Hokies back, but they get back to the 1 before Demarcus Christmas stuffs Steven Peoples on fourth-and-goal. Again: good process (from an odds perspective), bad outcome.

Of course, Tech did still eat four more minutes off the clock, and now a flailing FSU offense gets the ball at its three-inch line. But Tech still didn’t score. VT 17, FSU 3.

4:52

ANOTHER Noles drive starts by moving backwards as Caleb Farley sacks Francois. Akers loses another yard, then Francois trips over an offensive lineman trying to escape the pocket on third down. Thirteen tackles for loss in 40 minutes. Wow. WOW.

Tech slightly runs into Tyler on the punt (Tyler embellishes a bit), but there’s no flag, C.J. Carroll returns it to the FSU 19. Hokies have the dagger in hand.

6:51

FSU’s defensive line has asserted itself, too. Burns and Marvin Wilson stuff Jalen Holston for no gain, then Durden sacks Jackson on second down. Holston gets some yards back on third down, but once again, Bradburn’s out to pin the Noles deep.

Bradburn pins the Noles deepish. FSU will start from its 12. VT 17, FSU 3.

9:00

Good gracious, Tech starts FSU’s next drive with its 10th tackle for loss, as Rayshard Ashby stuffs Patrick for a loss of three. After a quick flare pass goes nowhere, VT defensive coordinator drops eight into coverage and confuses Francois into an incompletion. Three-and-out. But hey, at least FSU gets the punt off this time. Granted, it’s half-shanked and goes out at the FSU 40, but it’s not blocked. Positivity! VT 17, FSU 3.

10:07

FSU is saved by a bad snap. Three rushes and a pass to Hazelton quickly move Tech inside the FSU 30, but a second-and-4 snap goes bombing over Jackson’s head, and he recovers it for a 14-yard loss. Brian Burns then sacks Jackson for a loss of 11, and on fourth-and-29, Bradburn punts. It’s fair caught at the FSU 7. Bradburn’s quite good. VT 17, FSU 3.

13:32

The second half picks up where the first half left off: with a tackle for loss. Divine Deablo slices into the backfield to trip up Akers for a loss of five yards. Francois fires high for Murray, and on third-and-15, a Francois-to-Murray pass over the middle gains just 11. A Tyler punt bounces out at the VT 30. Not the start FSU wanted. VT 17, FSU 3.

Second quarter

0:00

Nothing doing. The clock expires with FSU still on its side of the 50. Halftime. The Noles out-gained the Hokies by 66 yards, and only one of Tech’s last six possessions gained more than six yards, but FSU couldn’t handle the Tech line and made most of the biggest mistakes. VT 17, FSU 3.

0:35

Tech is happy to run as much clock as possible. Two rushes gain four yards and eat almost a minute, and FSU calls timeout with 45 seconds left. A draw play gains one more yard, and FSU calls another TO before another high, unreturnable Bradburn punt. VT 17, FSU 3.

1:39

And now FSU’s offense responds nicely. Patrick carries tacklers up the middle for an 18-yard gain, then Terry reels in a 32-yard lob down the right sideline. Two more Patrick touches gain eight yards, but again the Tech front blows up FSU’s line for a one-yard Akers loss. He has seven yards in nine carries.

It’s fourth-and-2, and Taggart elects to go for it: good process, bad outcome. Francois’ pass is deflected by Houshun Gaines at the line. Tech’s defensive line is the Monday night MVP(s). VT 17, FSU 3.

3:30

FSU’s defense responds nicely, forcing a three-and-out and nearly picking off a third-and-long pass. Francois’ poor decision is negated. Another nice Bradburn punt is fair caught at the FSU 22. VT 17, FSU 3.

3:50

Oh no. Francois gets greedy trying to get some points back, and his deep ball is picked off by Caleb Farley at the VT 34. That’s two turnovers, a blocked punt, and six penalties for the Noles. VT 17, FSU 3.

3:57

Man, Tech’s defensive front looks good. After Akers gets helicoptered to the ground for a two-yard gain, another Hill speed rush results in a sack and a near-safety. FSU quickly goes three-and-out. And then things get worse for the Noles: Chris Cunningham blocks Tyler’s punt, popping it into the air for Eric Kumah to catch it and score. #BeamerBall VT 17, FSU 3.

5:18

Jackson open’s Tech’s drive with a 14-yard shot over the middle to Phil Patterson; then, on third-and-8, he finds Patterson for about 7.5 yards to the VT 48. Despite needing about three inches, Tech punts. FSU will start at its 9. VT 10, FSU 3.

7:26

Walker’s back in, which is a bullet dodged for Tech. After two short Patrick runs, Francois connects with Tre’ McKitty to move the chains. After a deep pass is nearly picked off, FSU moves into Tech territory with a seven-yard pass to Tamorrion Terry — the seventh Nole to catch a pass — and then Patrick bursts up the middle for 17 yards on third down.

Murray’s second touch goes better than his first. He atones for his early fumble by taking a short pass, reversing field like Laborn, and exploding for 30 yards to the VT 1. Replay suggests he might have scored (I don’t think he did; it looked like his leg was dragging on the ground before the ball crossed the plane), but FSU’s hurry-up backfires — the Noles commit a false start instead of asking for a review. Three plays and one yard later, Aguayo’s 22-yard attempt is good. FSU’s on the board, at least.

Yeah, Murray didn’t score.

Everybody calm down. His shin was down. The play would have been upheld. pic.twitter.com/rJbjxG2FZD

— Cork Gaines (@CorkGaines) September 4, 2018

VT 10, FSU 3.

10:59

Tech’s fourth drive goes nowhere because of mistakes. Grimsley is called for unsportsmanlike conduct after a 19-yard pass, and a false start quickly sets up a third-and-13. Jackson fires incomplete. Four-and-out. Bradburn’s punt is fair caught at the FSU 30. VT 10, FSU 0.

12:51

On the first play of the quarter, Trevon Hill sacks Francois on a pretty speed rush, but after a short pass, Khalil Ladler is called for a pretty shaky defensive pass interference penalty to give FSU a first down at the 13. And once again, Tech immediately pushes FSU back on first down — Ricky Walker blows up a handoff to Akers for a loss of five. Akers has seven carries for six yards.

On third-and-long, Francois throws a perfect strike to Gavin in the end zone ... and Gavin drops it. Ouch. And then Ricky Aguayo’s first field goal attempt of the year is wide left. Double ouch.

Meanwhile...

Ricky Walker, by far Tech's best DT, doesn't put weight on his left leg as he is helped off.

— Bud Elliott (@BudElliott3) September 4, 2018

Ouch in the other direction. VT 10, FSU 0.

First quarter

0:00

Damn. Khalan Laborn’s first touch comes on a quick screen to the left sideline. He darts upfield, makes a couple of filthy jukes, then crosses all the way to the right sideline, gaining 37 yards before he’s tracked down.

HE HAD DEFENDERS RUNNING INTO EACH OTHER #SCtop10 pic.twitter.com/TrDAcCaIZE

— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) September 4, 2018

I whooped from my living room.

On the last play of the quarter, Francois finds Gavin for 21 yards down the middle. The Noles will start the second quarter at the Tech 23. VT 10, FSU 0.

1:07

The jump balls are working in Tech’s favor. The Hokies appear happy to simply punt back to FSU, calling two conservative runs and a jump ball to Tre Turner. Only, Turner reels the pass in for 26 yards. After two more short runs, a dancing Sean Savoy nearly moves the chains again, but he comes up just short. Still, the lob helped to flip the field before Oscar Bradburn’s punt is fair caught at the FSU 21. VT 10, FSU 0.

4:23

Three-and-out for FSU. A sideline pass to Jacques Patrick loses a yard, and Francois throws behind D.J. Matthews over the middle. But on another third-down passing down, Francois delivers, finding Ontaria Wilson for 12 yards. Two penalties — illegal formation and holding — quickly derail the drive, though. On third-and-16, Akers almost breaks a big one but is tripped after 11 yards. Logan Tyler’s punt is downed at the VT 4. VT 10, FSU 0.

7:52

On the second play of Tech’s second drive, McClease gets to the edge again — that’s been a theme — and erupts upfield for 23 yards. Jackson fires inaccurately to Grimsley twice, and then another lob to Hazelton is ruled incomplete when Hazelton’s toe-drag is out of bounds. Brian Johnson makes a 29-yard field goal, though, and the Hokies are up two scores. VT 10, FSU 0.

8:53

Yeah, the Taggart era could have started better. After a couple of short runs by Cam Akers, Deondre Francois flips the field with a 24-yard strike to Keith Gavin. But after a false start, a quick pass to Nyqwan Murray turns disastrous. Rayshard Ashby strips a dancing Murray, and Khalil Ladler recovers. Tech ball at the FSU 35. VT 7, FSU 0.

10:34

We heard a lot about the tempo Willie Taggart wants to bring to Tallahassee, but Tech comes out giving FSU a taste of its own medicine. Two quick Josh Jackson passes to Hezekiah Grimsley on the perimeter gain a combined 17 yards, then two Deshawn McLease runs between the tackles gain another 17. Scoring opportunity No. 1 for the Hokies.

Tech slows the tempo down, and after a rushed screen pass falls incomplete, McLease goes off right tackle for 11 more yards to the FSU 22. Then another quick pass to Grimsley gains three, and a jet sweep to Terius Wheatley to the left gains eight yards and moves the chains again. After a short run by Nasir Peoples, Jackson throws a one-on-one ball to Ball State transfer Damon Hazelton, and he makes an easy touchdown grab.

Easy. That whole drive was easy. VT 7, FSU 0.

15:00

Well that’s fun. The FSU kicking team gets the crowd riled up before the opening kick, which gives us the chance to hear Chris Fowler saying the words “swag surf.” I approve.

FSU Swag Surf. Intimidatingly Cool ! pic.twitter.com/uGrv5RYIwv

— Janet Weber (@janetweber1228) September 4, 2018

I do not, however, approve of the Noles’ San Diego State-looking alternate uniforms.

No. 19 Florida State hosts No. 20 Virginia Tech on Monday in the final game of college football’s Week 1. You can watch on ESPN (streaming here) and following along here for score updates, highlights, and commentary throughout the night.

Tonight marks the FSU debut for head coach Willie Taggart, a lifelong Noles fan whose dream to lead this program has now come true. His team entered as a touchdown favorite.

Game preview by James Brady

The Seminoles and Hokies wrap up the first week of college football action on Monday. The game is set for 8 p.m. ET on ESPN (live streaming via WatchESPN) from Doak Campbell Stadium in Tallahassee.

The Hokies are in an interesting position because nobody really knows what to expect of them, including fans of the team. They have undergone some changes, but probably not enough to push them to the next level, especially with a ton of young players on the roster.

Time, TV channel, and streaming info

Time: 8 p.m. ET

Location: Doak Campbell Stadium, Tallahassee, Fla.

TV: ESPN

Streaming: WatchESPN

Odds: Florida State opened as 6.5-point favorites, and the line has only moved further in their favor.

Virginia Tech vs. Florida State news:

Weather could play a factor in Monday’s game, as there’s expected to be plenty of rain and high winds.

Deondre Francois was named the starting quarterback for Florida State, at least for Week 1. Shortly after that news, Bailey Hockman decided to transfer, making the Seminoles thin at the position.

The Seminoles will be going with throwback end zones for their opener against the Hokies. Plus, the team is going to wear all black uniforms for the season opener.

When the Hokies released their official depth chart, the biggest thing to note was the fact that roughly two-thirds of the team is made up of redshirt sophomores. There are some other notable placements, which Gobbler Country covered.

Virginia Tech fans aren’t exactly sure how to feel about the team, at least right now. It feels like another season with no expectations, a holding pattern.

You can find the Tomahawk Nation staff predictions here, as well as previews from Gobbler Country here and here.

Virginia Tech vs. Florida State prediction:

As far as S&P+ metrics go, Virginia Tech has a projected ranking of 7.7, with Florida State projected at 12.3. This means that, on a neutral field, the Seminoles would have a 4.6-point advantage on a neutral field. The odds suggested an even bigger gap, and any way you slice it, Florida State should be the pick here.