#it’s just real fucking weird when they’re treated as qualities that ‘’redeem’’ them from their disability

[weltraum-vaquero]

I get what you're saying, but you're also reaching a weird fine line situation by implying that disabled people can't be portrayed with big penises.

I fully agree it’s a fine line, and I’m not saying it’s wrong to portray him as such. I’ve portrayed him w a big dick in some of my fics, too, and it’s absolutely okay (and fun) to do so. It’s less about the concept, and more about the execution, I think. It becomes a little strange when his size is a very big focus of the fic and it’s pretty much done in the tone of “who would have thought poor little Viktor had such a shlong!”.

[imsosocold]

People are saying the “ new” Collector is better because now he’s more than a kid with too much power. Personally I always thought the seeming contrast between physical and mental age was intentional, if the Collector could even be measured by human metrics.  But whatever, I actually do find the “ kid with too much power” concept interesting with how it could mirror Luz and Philip’s journeys.

At the start of the series Luz viewed the Isles through a fantasy book setting and her arc was her learning that the Isles wasn’t like that, it was its whole own separate place with its own rules and culture. Those who lived there were just like her and that her actions there hold heavy, real life consequences. Luz reached these conclusions with help of the positive influences around her. If Eda, King, Hooty, Gus, and Willow hadn’t been there for her, if she had been left to fend for herself, I think Luz would had drawn different conclusions.

Philip, on the other hand, couldn't separate the Boiling Isles from the Bible stories he was told and the tales of witches that were spread in his village. He also was forced to wander and fend for himself in the Isles alone from a relatively young age.  Someone Philip had previously turned to for guidance was now going against everything he’d ever taught him, it must’ve been like the cautionary tales they both would have been told about. Obviously Philip was very negatively influenced by his surroundings and the people within them. But recently, at least, there’s been a shift in thinking. Maybe it was from seeing the human realm and how it changed but it’s obvious through Philip’s interaction with “ Caleb” and " the Grimwalkers" that he does doubt the legitimacy of the stories he’d been told and thus his own beliefs. With his plan and his confidence in it falling apart,  so does Belos’s body.

The Collector I thought had no influence in contrast to the both of them.  Going back to how the Collector was said to be THE  child of stars and not star people, the Collector would hypothetically have nothing to watch over them, no set goals or expectations,  left in the cold and uncaring universe they were created from.  Lacking any reference, they’d just treat the Isles as a form of entertainment, something to explore and play with. What else would it be? In doing so the Collector caused irreversible harm to its inhabitants through the Titans. But nobody bothered to explain anything to them, he was locked away harshly instead.

But now turns out he’s also a victim of negative influence via “ bad Collectors” ( weird for Dana to portray almost the majority of a whole species as bad ™ when she’s refrained from doing that for all the other species, isn’t that mindset the same as Belos’s) and it’s implied the Collector didn’t hurt the Titans at all. He’s STILL is a kid with power, despite what others may say, but just a less interesting version that brings nothing new to the conversation. I didn’t want him to be meant to be same as others, I wanted him to not be meant to be anything.

But I’ll be satisfied if the Collector does what Belos never did: grow up. I want them to realize their actions are part of a perpetual cycle and that while he recognizes they were negatively influenced by a lot of forces he also did a lot of fucked up shit of their own violation.  I want him to pinkie promise King they will play again but they’re not ready yet to be his friend. I want the Collector to hold himself responsible even if other characters don’t, even if the fandom won't. It won’t be fun but it what he wants to do.

(Shock, I know because me not wanting the Collector’s  more negative qualities to be retconned or ignored clearly means I want them tortured and  killed. I want  them to  be redeemed and I expected him to be from the start but I’m not happy in doing so that Dana and co took away what made them so interesting to me in the first place.)

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What would happen if you were sent back and ended up in the orphanage with Tom Riddle—and say you also had magic?

Oh boy.

Well, there's a lot to question here. Judging by the... spirit of this ask, I presume I'm... pretty much reincarnated. I'm in the orphanage, I'm much younger than I am now and a child, I'm pre-Hogwarts age, and I retain my current knowledge.

For the purpose of this ask I suppose I also retain my current mental faculties. Despite being in the body of an eight-year-old, I'm not The Carnivorous Muffin at eight.

Welp, there's a lot to consider here.

First, I probably don't realize I'm in Harry Potter for quite some time and instead assume I've been reincarnated to some parallel universe. It's the 1930's, I'm in England in the depression, WWI has occurred and the vast majority of major historical events I know about seem to have happened in the right order, and this Earth is eerily similar to the Earth I left behind.

Strange that I appear to remember everything of my past life with my adult mental abilities, but alright universe, I guess that's how we're going to play this.

What I do know is that I'm dirt poor, presumably still a woman which does not bode well for my career prospects, and if I want any prospects in life period I'm going to have to fight tooth and nail for it. It'd be great if I got adopted to help with this, and might be nice to have people in my life who love me, but there's a lot of orphans in the world and a lot of orphans who are much less weird than I am.

The orphanage is the orphanage and not great, Mrs. Cole is overworked, the orphanage is chronically understaffed, and the kids are running wild beating the shit out of each other.

Being a girl, I probably don't have to worry about getting the shit kicked out of me quite as much, but I still probably try to keep my head down and don't aggravate the particularly beefy looking orphans.

Yes, there's some very angry gremlin named Tom Riddle around who will shove you down the stairs in retribution, but that's just a weird coincidence. And then supernatural shit starts happening. Billy's rabbit hangs itself, people get injuries when Tom is nowhere near them, and I start wondering if this is really the Tom Riddle.

I'm in Wool's Orphanage, my matron is Mrs. Cole, Tom Riddle is running around lighting things on fire. It's possible, though it could all be a strange coincidence.

Now, how things go from here depends on how controlled my own magic is. Since accidental magic typically does manifest at least once or twice, it probably does manifest for me for.. something. If Tom Riddle's there to witness it then...

Well, I imagine he's very offended. Here he was, special, different, better than everyone else, and then some girl in the orphanage (who dares to get very good grades on her assignments in school) has it too.

And I just stand there, smiling, going "Tee hee".

He probably confronts me to prove that he's better at it than I am, and he probably is unless the universe hates both him and me, but having someone else with the Shining around probably prompts him to take me as his protégé (in part so he can show off and in part because he's genuinely excited to be able to share this super cool talent).

I am now apprentice to eight-year-old Tom Riddle. Whoop de doo.

Well, I don't remember this part of Harry Potter, so now I'm probably confused as to where I am again. Regardless, I try to advise Tom on how to tone it down and not, say, traumatize Amy and Dennis for life and antagonize all the other orphans forever. He probably doesn't take me seriously. What do I know, I can't even light that patch of grass on fire?

Hanging around Tom Riddle gets me a reputation to, given the difference in genders, probably a fairly nasty one at that. When Dumbledore arrives he's undoubtedly told hot gossip about how eleven-year-old Tom and I have had sex in a ritual to summon Satan. Dumbledore takes this seriously.

Dumbledore probably meets us both at the same time and it's a disaster. I tried my best to prep Tom without revealing I'm a prophet, Tom first doesn't believe there might not be others, then doesn't believe they would be antagonist/anything but amazed by how awesome he is.

Well, Dumbledore lights his wardrobe on fire while I sit there. Dying inside. Dumbledore probably also does something to me too, to teach me some kind of lesson about something.

I imagine he temporarily disfigures me/makes me appear very ugly, then sticks a mirror to the wall, that way I realize that looks aren’t everything/being a whore is wrong. Tom, still traumatized over the wardrobe, is no help and my magic’s probably not controlled enough to do a thing about it.

I spend a day looking like a pig, Tom and I are given just enough money to buy new wands and second hand/barely functioning everything else and given the world’s worst directions to Diagon Alley. Thanks, Albus.

Well, months pass, we get our wands, Tom gets excited for Hogwarts and I... start seriously considering the future. WWII is coming, the Blitz is coming, Tom and I live in east London and must be able to evacuate during the bombing of London (which went on well past the Blitz to the end of the war). I also start considering my future in the wizarding world. Do I now actually have career prospects?

Probably not because I’m muggle born and a woman. My best bet is doing very well in useful subjects and finding employment with the goblins, I can’t imagine they have the same hang ups as the wizarding world.

Tom wants to go to Slytherin, of course, I tell him this is a bad idea. “Gee Tom,” I say, “Not sure how I know this but I have this feeling that Slytherin is filled with people who loathe our very existence and will shank us. Why don’t we pick Ravenclaw or Gryffindor instead?”

No one shanks Tom Riddle! Tom says. Tom is still eleven and while he admits that sometimes I may, in retrospect, have been right about certain things that doesn’t mean he wants to go to the house known for hard work. That’s code word for everyone there being a moron and having no other redeeming features than tenacity. As for the other two, Ravenclaws sound like smug, elitist, nerds and Gryffindors like dumb jocks.

Better to be known for ambition, cunning, and actually being competent.

Well, there’s no talking him out of this one, and goddamn it we’re all each other has.

I’m the closest thing Tom Riddle has ever had to a friend in all these years and in the orphanage the only one who could hold a decent conversation with him. And while it’s not my moral obligation to keep Tom from becoming a domestic terrorist, and there’s no guarantee I even can, dumping him for one of the other houses and drifting apart won’t help.

Not to mention that, after all these years, I’m undoubtedly lonely, I’m in this foreign land, and he’s now the closest thing to a friend I have.

Looks like I’m going to Slytherin, YOOOOOLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO! I shout as a battle cry as tears run down my face. I may have to convince the hat to put me in Slytherin, but like all human beings I am a mixture of many qualities. I’m not cunning in the least, mind games exhaust me unutterably, but I’m full of ambition. 

This confirms every bad opinion Dumbledore had regarding me and Tom.

For the next several months, Tom probably beats the shit out of dormmates who steal his things/harass him. He beats up mine too because feminism (TM) means that he should treat all people equally when guilty of the same crime. I... am not sure I can win that fight so I just resign myself to having to adopt some of Tom’s tactics to make sure I’m not shoved in lockers, have tampons thrown at me, or pig’s blood dumped on me at the prom.

Once again, everyone thinks Tom Riddle and I are dating. I don’t even know if they’re wrong at this point.

Well, being in class with eleven year olds who seem to have had little to no prior education, Tom and I are undoubtedly blazing through class. I imagine I’m bored out of my mind (the Hogwarts curriculum sounds unbelievably boring) and Tom is... well, probably devouring the library but probably also bored. I decide to try and see if I can find some real history texts on this world (there are probably none, the wizarding world seems to only have two historians and both... have a different approach to history than current modern thought as I know it) and discover what magic even is. That shit is fascinating: wingardium leviosa is not.

Dumbledore likely gives neither me nor Tom points in class, I think the house cup is stupid, so I really don’t care. I have no interest in playing quidditch, neither does Tom, so that doesn’t happen.

The second world war starts up, Tom, me, and the muggle borns are the only ones who give a flying fuck. I work harder on figuring out how to get lodging during the Blitz/the bombing of London. Unfortunately, Mrs. Cole hates me too for being the Bride of Satan, so that’s a no go. Third year, 1939, I probably write her in earnest anyway telling her to PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, send Tom and I instructions for the summer/where the orphans are staying/how they’ve been dispersed to the countryside. As a back up plan, I try desperately to shmooze shopkeepers in Hogsmeade during every Hogsmeade weekend to get myself and Tom part time jobs and lodging over the summer. As a back up back up plan, I spend my time badgering Tom to become very good at survivalist wandless magic and if the Lord has pity on me gain some ability in it myself.

Hopefully, either Mrs. Cole or one of the Hogsmeade shop owners take pity on us. If not, then Tom and I are going extreme camping. Given Mrs. Cole (and the brain damage brought on by Dumbledore erasing memories left and right) and the likelihood of Hogsmeade shop owners just not getting it, Tom and I probably go extreme camping.

(Tom, meanwhile, asks Dippet and Dumbledore if we can stay in Hogwarts over the summer. He’s told no exceptions. London’s being bombed, you say? No exceptions. Toodles. Tom is never the same.)

Me, Tom Riddle, a tent we made ourselves, several rabbits we had to catch and skin ourselves, and the pitiful fire that we can keep going through pure will alone because if we try to use real people spells then we’ll get arrested. It has the benefit of making Tom feel very manly and impressive, catching his own food, but both of us are well aware that this sucks.

But hey, we aren’t dead.

Well, I’m sure Tom doesn’t appreciate that and this is where I imagine he seriously starts talking about violent revolution. I imagine much of my time is spent discussing the merits of not violently overthrowing our ant overlords. I imagine a thirteen-year-old Tom isn’t impressed by my pacifism, but he’s not married to Voldemort yet (probably).

Then I imagine the horcrux thing comes up and... Well, I will argue hard against it. Humans die, it is a truth of the universe, and simply something we have to accept. Horcruxes are not a measure against that, they can be destroyed, given infinite time they will be, and the sacrifice they require is too high: human life as well as the very essence of who you are.

What is a soul? I’m not sure, we never really learn in HP canon, but whatever it is, it is in some way the essence of yourself. If you take half of it and throw it somewhere else, you will cease to be you, someone or something else is walking around in your body while the other half of you exists in endless agony.

If you must chase immortality, create a philosopher’s stone (as I darkly wonder why it was that couldn’t be replicated and what Flamel had to do to make it in the first place). On second thought, maybe we should search for the Holy Grail.

Whether I can talk Tom out of this or not is... unclear. I’m going to say that I can, in part because I imagine he’ll want to show the chamber off to me, tell me when he realizes he’s Heir of Slytherin, and in doing so I can prevent the basilisk incident from occurring. Without that, there’s no dead Myrtle, which means no first victim. That summer, when he goes to the Gaunts, I’ll go with him and convince him that it’s not worth it. He can just turn around and leave these people alone, I hopefully can talk him down. Which means no second victim.

I start writing Flamel to see if Tom or I can get an apprenticeship (Dumbledore probably beats us to the chase and poisons him against us, but it’s worth a shot).

Then, should all go well, I can convince Tom to find employment with the goblins rather than shady antique dealers on the bad side of town. Hopefully, I can convince him to never become Voldemort, and instead we travel the world together looking for the origins of magic or something.

Dumbledore goes around taking people’s memories of us in preparation for when Tom becomes a dark lord and I his lady of the night darkness.

TL;DR Apparently my life would become an SI/Tom Riddle fic. So, thanks anon.

[glowyjellyfish]

I watched Aladdin tonight and had some thoughts, some of which are thoughts I had a long time ago, but what the hell, I haven’t shared them with tumblr yet.

-I find it super interesting how the animal sidekicks reflect aspects of their human counterparts--Abu is a tiny sneaky kleptomaniac, like Aladdin’s base instincts cranked up to 11, and Iago, like Jafar, is forced to hide his true thoughts and hide behind a facade, and is resentful of that fact. Plus, parrot on the shoulder named Iago = advisor whispering in the sultan's ear. And, not to get ahead of myself, but that carries forward into the series with Mozenrath having a weird slippery creepy magic floating eel thing.

-I can’t believe I never noticed or paid attention to this before, but the four main characters all share the same problem of feeling trapped. Yes, including Jafar. The man goes berserk whipping off bad puns like they’re going out of style the second he feels free to express his real feelings, he is clearly intensely repressed. Let’s call that the theme of the movie.

-If not for his ability to quickly make friends by being a good dude, Aladdin would have died so early and so many times. He’s pretty good at conning people and running around with a sword and junk, but that’s his real superpower.

-Jafar is Lawful Evil and Iago is Chaotic Neutral and they’re really bad influences on each other so they both act closer to Neutral Evil when they are scheming and bouncing ideas off each other. That’s my theory.

-Related to the above, and I know this is mostly because they just wanted to have Iago on the series, but I also think it’s curious that going by the sequel and the series, Iago is not that bad and generally is just self-centered and greedy. I mean, the original movie didn’t give him any particularly redeemable qualities. He gets mistreated, I guess, but up until the end Jafar is downright nice to him, relative to how Jafar treats everyone else.

...and I know I would have resented this if they did it, due to how the Jafar backstory from OUATW is my perfect Jafar headcanon forever now, but why did Disney decide to do a lazy-ass live action remake with a terrible looking genie that for once should have been 100% CGI oh my god--why that, when they could have gone the Maleficent route and done some sort of epic Jafar backstory movie? I can’t remember whether the series discusses it, although it seems unlikely, but how did Jafar acquire and bond with Iago? Why are they partners in crime? And how did Jafar get his position and that level of trust while scheming and doing everything in his power to get power? These are questions I would actually like to know canon answers to! But a remake doesn’t fucking count!

-I have concluded that Aladdin is painfully aware of social classes. He’s so class-conscious that he assumes Jasmine thought he was stupid just because she’s royalty and he wasn’t, and he thinks for a while that when Jasmine doesn’t like prince-him, he must have messed up and he just needs to prince harder. And I really love how he freaks out over the concept of becoming sultan.

-finally, another headcanon i picked up from somewhere on the internet: At some point in recent history, Aladdin's father became the King of Thieves. Maybe that was the effect of the wish, perhaps without Genie quite realizing it, making Aladdin technically a prince. I love this theory so much i want to take it home and have its babies.

I’m considering doing a complete Outfit Count as I head into the sequel and the series, but first things first--I have to figure out how i want to watch the sequel. On the one hand, itunes is convenient and giving them money might convey that i am willing to pay money for the series so please put it on itunes… on the other hand, Disney why the fuck are you charging $20 for the return of fucking jafar. Nobody wants to spend $20 on the fucking return of jafar! I really want to watch it right now and I wouldn’t want to pay more than $10, tops! ugh.