#it’s just :( i don’t enjoy it anymore
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I’ll be real, yall were all about “cringe culture is dead” until hazbin hotel came out and now suddenly we’re cool sending anon hate and bullying people over this show…
#I’ve honestly been using this website less and less because of the shit people have sent me#I’ve gotten anything from death threats to massive essays on why I suck as a person for liking this show#I don’t really wanna be here anymore if I can’t enjoy my hyperfixations in peace#and I hate turning off asks because I like getting silly mail#idk I’m just sad and annoyed#up until this show the only hate I ever got was from TERFs#hazbin hotel#cringe culture is dead
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L. A.fter B.eyond B.irthday
Playlist: X
#THATS A MUSIC PLAYLIST ITS ON YOUTUBE !!!!#I put it together because I thought it’d be fun 👉👈#it should be listened in order hehe (oh well only if you want tho)#sorry it’s only YouTube I don’t use Spotify#but yeah!!! enjoy#I’ve worked on this piece for a few days I don’t wanna look at it anymore… urgh#death note#B#Beyond birthday#haha also get it get it there’s 13 songs ha ha ha ha#don’t mind the blood he’ll clean it up soon mhmhm#blood#just in case#u guys r lucky I was gonna put some dismembered limbs but I was like..#nah I don’t wanna look that up rn#smh#yeah#ok I’ll stop enjoy the painting
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Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye
#the hell am I so anxious about? maybe it’s just overstimulation stuff#hoping it’ll die down because I can’t keep enjoying myself when I’m like this#seriously is starting to mess with my flight responses over the tiniest things#like yea obviously I needed to stay logged out of Tumblr so I would focus more on schoolwork#but uhhhh gonna be transparent and say a huge part of it is the jolts of anxiety :(#like even the thought of logging back here has caused me to feel like sweating#my brain kept saying ‘no I don’t want to I can’t do that’ even when I felt bad for missing out on others posts#like I want to be here so I can support my mutuals dammit!!!#I’m a mess. I’m such a broken mess oh great lovely spectacular#maybe the culminating stress of final exam deadlines is worsening stuff as well#I can’t tell you why I’m like this I just am 🙃#anyways thinking I’ll start adapting to the distance. Sorry but being a shut-in is more appealing right now#I just need time to be with myself and not be so invested in the lives of others#anyways what’s something mildly positive I can wrap this up with so I don’t seem pathetic….#ah yes the final Puzzle sketch here was drawn today before a class period#one of my fellow classmates noticed and audibly asked me ‘is that Mr. Puzzles?’#IT TOOK EVERTHING IN MY WILLPOWER TO NOT LET OUT A GIDDY SHRIEK#Felt like my eyes bulged and I jolted in enthusiasm jskjsksp spontaneous happiness?? actally experiencing the feeling of fitting in??#anyways I responded with a very normal ‘WAIT YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM???’ while trying to suppress grinning or going ‘teehee’#anyways now it’s my personal mission to keep initiating conversations with her because AUUUUUGH SHE KNOWS WHO HE IS I’M LOSING IT#proceeded to talk about Murder Drones & TADC like holy SHIT I didn’t think I would ever find animation peeps in my psychology class auuu 😭💜#it’s a MIRACLE man this may be a sign that college won’t be isolating anymore yaaaaayyy#PUZZLE IS SINGLE HANDILY HELPING ME TALK TO PEOPLE BOTH ONLINE AND IRL THIS IS WILD#all hail the best comfort character seriously holy shit—like imagine she never noticed me drawing Puzzles!! I’D STILL BE LONELY AS HELL#okay sorry I’ll stop typing like a teenager and go back to pretending to be well-versed in speech & conducting myself ‘normally’ :3#doodles#sketches#not tagging with Puzzles because hahaaaaa don’t look at me
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ALRIGHT
When SOMEONE who is definitely NOT ME writes the Avatar high school au with Spider properly included, here’s how it should go:
-so my man Jake Sully has been paralyzed since The WarTM (I don’t care which one) and he and his delightful wife (school board hates her) and kids (school board hates everyone but Neteyam) have trouble finding a place that is accessible for Jake. Because of this they all live in a home in an old folks community.
-They live somewhere crazy like Pennsylvania where the drive between one place and another is 45 minutes so the kids are all stupid close and hate (love) each other.
-then one day a social worker drops a kid off to live next door with his decrepit and dying old aunt or something, it’s Miles Spider Socorro here in all his fun neglected glory, and all the Sully kids are like Mine that’s Mine, and he’s Scared but also like alright 🥺
-Spider spends more time at the Sully’s and outside then at his actual house and the whole time Jake and Neytiri are like who the fuck is feeding this kid who did shit to this kid and they’re like treating him like a wild animal that could be spooked but eventually he’s pretty chill and just part of the squad.
-now one day Spider learns that the house, one one Jake and Neytiri have been building for years to be properly accessible and ready for them in like this big woods property with like dumbass little American ninja warrior obstacle courses for Jake to do just arm shit on (I’m convinced that man is buff as hell) and a swimming pool for the kids but also for Jake to like throw them around in and shit. Neytiri’s got a massive garden and some little farm animals it’s all very quaint Pennsylvania woods shit and it’s closer to a better high school (where obviously they will meet the metkayina kids and we can have that romance plot). Spider learns that house is about done.
-Spiders like “oh better spend my last days before the inevitable heat death of the universe (the departure of my family)” and he’s like trying to keep a happy face. No one can quite figure out what’s wrong with him. Jake and Neytiri asked his aunt and social worker if they could bring him along years ago and everyone assumed they told him. OBVIOUSLY no one would leave him the kids would absolutely riot (and who would weed with Neytiri and listen to music in the mornings and who would pretend to hate The Bachelor with Jake and Lo’ak when Kiri puts it on).
-literally the comical confusion continues like they bring him to the house and show him stuff they built specifically for him. “Oh spider look this is your room, the ceilings are high for climbing and we made the sky have realistic constellations for you and Kiri to look at” and he’s like “wow they really want me to visit, I wish my aunt would drive me. Maybe I can walk over?”
-finally someone (probably Kiri or Lo’ak, bonus points for Neteyam or Tuk) asks why he’s being so weird about the move and he’s finally like “because I’m going to miss you all obviously?” And they’re like “you’re coming?? Idiot?? Why would you miss us?” And he cries obviously. I think this took place at the final night at the old house. Everyone insisted spider stay over for it and they all camped out in the living room. He was excited to be there but very confused as to why they wanted him there.
-someone is like “why would you think we would leave you?” And he just says “I didn’t think you wanted me to come” and that makes everyone cry of course. And I’m convinced that Neteyam and Lo’ak do this thing where when Jake is having a serious talk with them they sit down or kneel so he’s eye level so Lo’ak just makes spider sit and stage whispers “when he’s mad you have to make him feel taller” and it breaks the tension a little bit cause it makes everyone laugh
-so then Jake and Neytiri have to have a talk with him like “oops we thought the adults we knew didn’t treat you well told you we were taking you in, we should not have trusted them, go get ur shit and move it over now actually, fuck them, ur done ur ours now.”
-and he’s very confused as to how it happened really but less then 24 hours later he is watching The Bachelor in the new house while Jake pretends not to care who got the one on one and Lo’ak does a worse job of pretending not to care whose on the group date and Neytiri does the worst job of all pretending not to care about how little shit Spider brought with him
-then we get weird shenanigans of Spider learning to be a regular child with parents who care at this new high school with his siblings, probably some stuff like he doesn’t tell anyone when he stays after school and sends Parent Pick Up Pro Jake Sully (he is a stay at home dad who does CrossFit and builds shit in the garage that he sells on Etsy, he hangs out with Tonowari and Tuk all day you can’t convince me otherwise) into a full meltdown. Or Spider forged his aunts signature on a permission slip As Per Usual and because she’s not his guardian anymore people get confused and Neytiri pulls him aside during their special garden time like why didn’t you just ask us to sign it buddy. We will.
-and we also get ur classic Neteyam and Ao’nung plot and your Lo’ak and Tsireya plot because guess who is at our new school?? Swim team champs Ao’nung, Tsireya, and Rotxo, and Lo’ak is determined to join and impress Tsireya
-Tonowari and Jake are both stay at home dads, Tonowari usually works but right now he’s on dad leave for the baby and he and Jake go on walks with the baby strapped to Tonowari’s chest and it does like become every housewives fav hour of the day, but they are both devoted to their sugar mommies, surgeons Neytiri and Ronal (greys anatomy subplot with Ronal and Neytiri starting out as rivals when Neytiri comes into this new hospital but become friends in the heat of some stressful situation)
-Jake misses when Tuk was home all day with him tbh so I can see him being their full time nanny when Tonowari goes back to work just cause he’s not busy and is obsessed with babies (Buffy subplot where Jake goes back to school and becomes an elementary school teacher/guidance consular to help kids like him and Spider with bad home lives)
-he also was the coach of every sports team Lo’ak and Neteyam ever had and both of them loved and hated it because he would praise them too much then notice it and then criticize them to balance it out
-sometimes he comes to swim team after he finds out Tonowari coaches and Tonowari dubs him like honorary coach and Jake is parked on the side of the pool in his chair like “great butterfly kicks Lo’ak” and Lo’ak is like “YOU WOULDNT KNOW GO HOME DAD”
-Jake will not take that lying down so he’s like “okay see you at home for The Bachelor son” and Lo’ak tries to drown himself out of embarrassment but Tsireya taps him on the arm and asks him if he’s been watching this season and that’s how Jake wingmans Lo’ak into inviting Tsireya over for their Bachelor nights
-that is how Ao’nung finds himself at the Sully house for The Bachelor (Ao’nung hates The Bachelor)
-that is how Neteyam finds himself downstairs in the living room for The Bachelor (Neteyam also hates The Bachelor)
-that is how Neytiri finds herself walking into Neteyams room to ask him if he wants to watch The Walking Dead with her but finding him Busy with Ao’nung (Neytiri also hates The Bachelor)
#got outta hand with the bachelor stuff#but it was a perfect catalyst#just know that Tonowari thinks he doesn’t like the bachelor#he will discover he is wrong#and Neytiri Ronal Neteyam and Ao’nung will enjoy the walking dead on Monday nights#until the show gets bad#anyways you can’t make me write this! i don’t write fic anymore!#miles spider socorro#spider socorro#jake sully#neytiri sully#neteyam sully#loak sully#kiri sully#tuktirey sully#tsireya#tonowari#ronal#aonung#aonunete#roxto#avatar#avatar the way of water#melissa on avatar (cameron)#melissa og#we are mindmelding get in#the people need this fic we are begging for it#modern au (wheelchair jake! edition)
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All these leaks have me convinced I’m just not meant to enjoy Natlan, lore wise or character wise 💔
Hot take I guess, sorry in advance
#sorry but I find nothing about this arc compelling#idk I never finished 5.1 because I just don’t give a damn and none of this stuff even makes sense#I need to understand how a motorcycle with rubber tires is even a thing in this world that’s clearly intended to be fantasy inspired#and I don’t want the ‘well it’s fantasy so it’s whatever’ no worlds have rules and Fontaine didn’t have traditional combustion engines#is it because I don’t really enjoy open world games anymore?#back to my main point: none of this resonates with me and I have no ‘why should I care?’ reason about this plot#it’s infodump after infodump after infodump and it’s not meaningfully done#I’m not sorry to be critical of a game that’s trying to push itself as something other than a gacha game at times with how they do quests#I don’t even want to watch lore recaps you guys that’s how much I do not like Natlan#I’m happy other people do but I just don’t get any of this stuff despite reading and listening to the dialogue
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bought pre-cut fruit & am finally able to eat fruit 👍 i love fruit but my adhd HATES having to cut things & i cannot just bite into a fruit bc it creates a sensory issue for me when my face gets sticky i can’t stand it so like i have had to narrow down so much the ways i can eat fruit 😭 but anyway being able to just eat it made me actually eat the fruit i am so happy 😩 next i need to get smth that will cut onions for me so i can cook like 90% of the things i want to cook but can’t make myself bc i don’t want to chop an onion so badly…..
#michelle speaks#unfortunately they don’t pre-cut most of my favorite fruits but that’s ok i still like the fruits they do cut#they don’t have most of the fruits i like in general rn bc i love plums and peaches and pears#pears are in season but they don’t have my favorite pear anymore it seems 😔 red bartlett my beloved 😭#SOMEONE. TOOK my last red bartlett pear that i was going to eat & favor for NO REASON. and i have not been able to have another one since#*SAVOR not favor#it was cruelly stolen from me. AFTER i requested it not be. i was going to say it’s fine but it isn’t.#and it will NOT be fine until i can have another one again. which they do not have them at whole foods rn. so who knows when that will be 😑#took myself over to the whole foods website which states that ALLEGEDLY. they have red pears. which they do NOT!!!!! bc i checked two days#ago and they DONT. not that it matters bc i am too mentally exhausted to cut a fruit which was the whole point of this post#and now i’m just complaining that i can’t get a pear and a previous incident that took place where i was ROBBED.#but ANYWAY!!!!! i bought fruit and ENJOYED it bc i didn’t have to cut it and the moral of the story is that if u have adhd and cannot do#things u should figure out what abt the task bothers u and see if there is a way to get around it or make it easier. supercorp bless u
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I started crocheting my first blanket today and my hand hurts so unbelievably bad and I’m not even a quarter done with it 🫡🫡
#it’s about five feet across#so I’m thinking five feet down but like. MY LORD!!!!!!#it took me like four hours just to get about 8 inches done#NOT EVEN A FULL FOOT YET?????#and I tried putting my brace on but it made it hurt worse sidhdkfjf#also sorry I’ve been so disconnected on here lately#I feel like I don’t belong here anymore which is no one’s fault#but it makes me very sad bc I miss being active on here and actually enjoying everything#I just feel very apathetic which could just be my Prozac LOL#sorry I’m rambling but I will post a pic of my blanket when I finish!!#which will probably take weeks lmao#—in store chit chat! 🍫
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After some consideration my blog is going to be transitioning to private / mutuals only. I’ll probably be considerably more picky with who I write with and it will only be things I enjoy. I don’t want to come off as an asshole but I don’t have the time or energy for anything but stuff I genuinely am interested in or enjoy.
That being said, if something doesn’t work out I’m always open to trying something else! I’ll still be open to plotting and new threads but only interested in continuing those things if they’re interesting or unique to me. I’m not really a big fan of casual threads that don’t go anywhere – if that makes any sense! :)
If anyone has questions, concerns or needs clarification feel free to dm me. ✨ Soon I’ll update my rules with a more coherent version of this. For the most part, the people I usually and consistently write with are likely to be unaffected as we already have a repertoire and I clearly enjoy the interactions. For anyone else I’m more than happy to try to find something we can both enjoy and work with! (Probably just requiring more plotting than winging it so I know what direction we’re headed and stuff!)
#&. ooc.#&. psa.#( tbh I just don’t have time for like one time things anymore h#( or writing that doesn’t have a distinct direction )#( or plots I’m not fully convinced I enjoy )#( that being said I’m sorry in advance if this comes off the wrong way )#( and I have a bunch of new ppl here I’d love to write with )#( I just wanna make sure I 100% enjoy everything I’m putting out )#( so my time being used is optimized for my own pleasure yk??? )#( 🫶🏻 it’s mostly directed at the super casual one time interactions & such )#( if anyone needs to break mutuals for this can yall hard block me pls 💀 so i don’t accidentally approach )
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me with. wilson
#talking#uhh#not ieytd#yeah i can make that a tag#putting this hear because i Want too#i think phoenix would enjoy wendy#but plays willow more often then not you get it#prism kinda makes me think of wonda (it’s the clock and gears) but i think she would enjoy winona And maybe wilson who knows#i structure my blogs weird i just don’t Use my main blog anymore(for now#so yayyy dst post#i would make a more comprehensive post about who they would play but i need to understand all of the Guys first so not yet
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Who else up wanting to be objectified because then at least you’ll be wanted and chased after. You won’t have to chase after others anymore, you can let it all go and trust that you’ll be carried and not dropped. No one?? Okay….
#> hey cecil says a thing! <#vent#I love him. I know he loves me. but sometimes I want to be the one being controlled.#shout out to the scam bot on one of my photo posts. blocked but thanks anyway.#I don’t want to be a person anymore. I’m not a person. I’m just an object.#and if I’m an object I want to be a pretty one. one to fight for. one to possess.#no one has ever fought for me. daydreamed about me. wanted me.#I’m always a second thought. an ‘‘oh um well I guess’’.#never chased after. never wanted beforehand. never seen and craved.#I know it’s wrong to want that. to want to be objectified or catcalled or whatever else.#but then at least I’ll know I’m good enough to be enjoyed.#yeah alright go ahead#send me creepy asks and DMs and shit#I don’t care anymore
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It’s free to be kind to people. Even if they’re into different stuff than you
#furry#furry art#furry commissions#furry community#ffs I have never had such nasty comments on any of my art as I did on the dbd stuff#just for putting CAT EARS on them. that’s not even furry.#so now I’m taking furry coms. it was out of spite at first but I’m low key enjoying it#furries are really nice and animals are cute#y’all almost make me wish I WAS a furry just because you’re so nice to other people#this is why I don’t play multiplayer games anymore
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GET ME OUTTA HERE
#i’m not in there anymore don’t worry but holy fuck#work was crazy and then I was in the office space alone with my coworker#we didn’t bother turning the lights on we just wanted to get in and out#there was an ominous humm and only a red light i was like jfc this is the back rooms#anyways enjoy my horrors
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when you think about it, I (girl who’s been on tumblr for 15 years) was born to love a loser team. hand in cringefail hand
#I’m over doom and gloom by the way . I’ve moved onto acceptance and the joy of zero expectations.#it’s just not fun to be sad anymore so like all emotions I don’t enjoy I will not accept it and then it’s gone :)#(this totally works and has no downsides)
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Sorry for the lack of edits recently, I’ve been trying my best to keep up with it all but I’ll be honest it’s a little difficult doing that since I’ve been sick for this past week. Not only that but I recently changed jobs so now my schedule is a bit different than what I had before.
I’m still keeping up with editing the latest cards but I’m still behind on finishing some memory cards from the last 2-3 events which I apologize for. I’m hoping to get over my fever so I can get the energy to edit and upload those cards for you guys. I appreciate you guys being patient with me while I recover.
Also I’d like to be fully transparent about this as well but I feel like I’m losing that motivation to edit as a whole. Before I say anything else I wanna make sure y’all know that I’m not quitting on editing any time soon, but I would be lying if I said I don’t enjoy doing it like I did before. Editing now has turned more into a chore than it does as a hobby. Maybe it was when I lost my first blog or it was the lack of engagement but I do not enjoy editing like before. I feel bad saying this since I know to those who’ve stuck around me do like my edits…idk I just feel stumped on what to do or how I’ll move forward with this. For now I’ll be editing at my own pace and give myself small breaks in between so I can finish edits at my own time.
#yap session am I right?#Fr tho I love all you guys for the support#I don’t want to let any of you down#but I just don’t enjoy editing as much anymore#it doesn’t feel satisfying like it did#I can’t even look at ibisPaint without feeling awful#sometimes I wanna avoid editing these new cards#idk I just don’t feel passionate about editing#I’m sorry for the negative post#I just needed to get this off my chest#maybe I’ll turn around once I’m fully healed#sob I need beel to give me some soup and cuddles ☹️
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Btw I’ve given up on veilguard for now. I’ve been trying to just slog through it but at best it’s boring and at worst the dialogue makes me wanna pull my own teeth out. After seeing that particular scene with Taash, I’m just too worldweary to keep pushing, at least for now. As a nonbinary person I kinda wish they’d just called me a slur and moved on.
#bad dumb writing makes my teeth hurt#I’ll say again#if you like the game yay congrats I’m so happy for you#sparkle on#it’s a fine standalone game#but it feels like such a flop in the series#especially after 10 years#anyways ignore me#I’m probably gonna replay dai so I will probably have more dai art to share#love those characters#just in case anyone was expecting me to draw any of the veilguard characters. I don’t really feel passionately about any of them#just Varric and he doesn’t count#I love Harding in dai but in da4 she doesn’t really feel like Harding anymore#kisses and hugs#mostly just annoyed I spent 60 human dollars on a game I don’t enjoy. I should have known better but I got lured in by a character creator#as always#nobody cares I’m just yappin at the void
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“gee i wonder why there’s still so much more fanfiction about male characters” “we need more morally complex female characters” “i love relationships that are doomed by the narrative” “more stories need to treat mentally ill characters with compassion and respect” “all his problems could’ve been fixed if he only went to therapy” you fuckers can’t even handle the ending of fionna and cake
#i’m not one to go online and complain fruitlessly about how media literacy is in the toilet but jesus christ#it’s actually devastating seeing so many people actively reject a brilliant and emotionally challenging show#all because they refuse to examine anything about themselves#if you’re genuinely pissed petrigrof wasn’t endgame and the show couldn’t quote unquote let them be happy#if you’re seriously mad your favorite doomed yuri was in fact doomed by the narrative#if you can’t enjoy petrigrof anymore because you now know it’s quote unquote problematic or toxic and not a perfect tragedy#please i beg of you watch it again#this show beat you over the head with a children’s book and then you misunderstood it somehow and then whined about your headache#and if you for realsies believe this show is pushing an unhealthy message with how it handled simon’s depression#this show that showed him so much compassion and understanding and gave him closure and let him move on and grow and seek help#if you think betty was too harsh on him#the betty that sentenced the man who doomed her to life#to live a happy and healthy life#to seek help and grow and become an individual not defined by his grief#if you think that’s seriously equivalent to telling a depressed person to just cheer up#then you are legitimately anti-recovery#i really hope you guys learn how to engage healthily with complex media#one would’ve thought steven universe taught us all a lesson#but i guess a million casper and nova level stories won’t be enough for some of you#here’s hoping you don’t just kin simon but actually follow his example#get therapy#loony rambles#fionna and cake#simon petrikov#betty grof#petrigrof#adventure time
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