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sneakywitch-thief · 6 years ago

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Andromeda OC: Henri Ryder

So I finally got to playing Mass Effect: Andromeda. I dove into this game with the expectations of it being a turd of a game as the reviews said. I was convinced it would be horrible. EA Bad.

Nope.

While it’s got its flaws it’s fun as hell. Especially playing as Ryder, who I love nearly as much as I do Shep. I’ve only played female Ryder so far but it’s certainly been a good time. Looking forward to playing as a male next time around, though since I’m 100%-ing everything I’m definitely taking a break from this game! Things get, um, kind of repetitive after a while.

But I’m finding myself writing this post because my Ryder ended up becoming one of my favorite OC’s I’ve ever created. I’d write a fic to do her justice but I’ve already got a full plate. So I’m writing this instead.

Meet Henrietta “Henri” Ryder.

She’s adorable. And looks so dang young. Still losing that babyfat, almost. But those cute cheeks are scarred forever by her crushed helmet, to always remind her of the ultimate sacrifice of a father she had never really known. A horrible reminder as twisting as ugly as the Scourge, each and every time she looks in the mirror.

It had almost been her who had died... and perhaps it should have been.

Henri was a young and awkward grad student looking to gain her doctorate in xenoanthropology. Studied Prothean artifacts before her estranged father went and ruined her chances in achieving her dream. Or any, for that matter. So she joined up with the Andromeda Initiative as a sort of field science officer on the Pathfinder team.

Henri had not seen combat before Habitat 7. She wasn’t a peacekeeper -- she was a scientist and a scholar. Her twin Scott was the soldier, the beloved child of Alec. She still loved him dearly, but still felt lesser for having been born a Henrietta and not a Henry. Never really knowing Alec as Scott had.

She felt she was made Pathfinder simply because she was the only one around at Alec’s death. After all, it had been her fault he had died. And she was no soldier, no real explorer -- just a scholar. Of Protheans. She had likely only been admitted into the Pathfinder team in the first place due to her being the Pathfinder’s daughter.

All she had to defend herself against the kett was a pistol. She never strayed much from that, even as Pathfinder. And to stay true to this, I stuck with ONLY tech abilities and two pistols for the entirety of the game. Overload, Shield Drain, and my frisbee turret. Engineer 6, baby. (ended up being a bit OP, actually)

So with this initial handicap of sorts my game took a long, looooong time. In my opinion, and with all the wild goose-chasing and colonization you have to do all over the cluster without relays, the main questline of Andromeda alone would take months, if not years. Space is huge. And Rome wasn’t built in a day, so a colony on a hostile planet? Several? I tried to reflect that.

As the Initiative gained a better foothold in Andromeda over months of exploring and building, Henri started to grow in confidence in herself and her role as Pathfinder. She was good at it.

Or maybe it was just SAM who was good at it.

She grew her hair to hide the scar that reminded her of her failure, her guilt. She felt better for a time, keeping this from her mind. However, she still felt as though she was the cause of her family’s deaths -- and Scott’s coma -- and felt uneasy about herself. As if growing too comfortable would bring back ruin and tragedy back down upon her.

Her burning passion for discovery and science, as well as her know-how of foreign and alien cultures in defusing the Angara, enhanced her abilities as a successful pathfinder, though perhaps not the Pathfinder. Trailblazer, perhaps. Hopelessly lost person stumbling off a cliff and miraculously surviving, definitely. But still, she was surviving. They weren’t all dead yet, and the outposts built were, actually, thriving.

Enter Reyes Vidal.

To say Henri was swept off her feet was a vast understatement, as she had never really felt real affection before from anyone other than her mother and Scott, whom she had both lost. This shady smuggler in Kadara, he changed things.

He made her feel like someone worthwhile, not just as the human Pathfinder but as Henrietta Ryder. A lonely young woman in a galaxy full of horrors and terrors, it felt easy to be around him and to be herself instead of this bigger figure she had not the slightest idea how to be. She could be a young woman in love. With him, extinction and certain annihilation could be forgotten for a while. For fleeting moments, happiness.

Comfort.

He saw something in her that was beyond the Pathfinder, beyond SAM. Henri was there too, and he LIKED her. He knew and recognized that, and most shockingly to her, he actually wanted to be with her. Every instinct within her told her to run, he’s a thief, he’s a criminal. But she felt the same about him. They wanted to be people who mattered, and most of all, who mattered to one another.

It felt almost too good to be true when she gave herself wholly and heartily to him.

And what a charlatan he was. Lies. Manipulated into bringing Sloane to her ultimate death, Henri was too shocked to save her during this mockery of an honorable duel to save Sloane. The feeling of utter betrayal was crushing, and despite what he said, Henri knew she could never trust him again. He was a dishonorable man, a criminal, and for all she knew his feelings for her had all been a ruse to gain her trust.

Perhaps he was sincere, but to Henri, the idea of that made it all the more horrible. No matter what he said or what she told herself, she felt used.

She left him then as King of Kadara port, all that he had wanted. But she took her heart with her. In pieces, but out of Vidal’s hands before he could go and break it again.

Back on the Tempest, between FTL jumps, she lingered and ruminated on her failed romance with Reyes. Reyes, who despite her better judgement and sense of honor still very much liked. Gradually, these thoughts of betrayal and heartbreak turned on herself. Had she not been enough? No, she would never be enough. Alec deserved to be Pathfinder. Scott. Cora.

People even told her so, multiple times, directly to that scarred face of hers.

Literally anyone but her should be Pathfinder.

So Henri sheared off the hair that had made her feel good about herself. All that progress that had made her feel worthy, all that she felt had brought the heartbreak of Reyes upon her. Gone. She never got the facial reconstruction surgery urged for her by Lexi, who recognized the dangerous spiral Henri was going down.

But she needed to see that scar, let everyone see it, to remind her of all she wasn’t.

She threw everything into being a Pathfinder, running herself ragged for the sake of the Initiative. She gradually became more and more reckless in combat and exploring, almost with disregard to her own safety if it meant the completion of a mission or saving just one more civilian. (Her best friends Liam and Peebee were not good influences.)

She needed a victory after so much complete and utter failure at being someone.

However, her passion for alien culture and history earned herself a loyal friend and subject of study, Jaal Ama Darav. With Liam and Henri’s constant badgering, the three became thick as thieves. Then, to Henri, the unthinkable:

She attributed it to typical Angaran affection and blunt honesty; flowery words of politeness and friendliness, nothing more. Perhaps her interest in diplomatic relations and studying the Angara had been mistaken for romantic interest -- something that was not in Ryder’s particular set of skills. She didn’t want it to be.

So she distanced herself.

Hint not taken. Instead, he sent poems and e-mails, words of “I love you” and “dear one”, words that were to painful for her to ever hear again -- not after Mom, Dad, Scott... Reyes. People you love were people you lose.

It’s just culture clash, it’s just alien curiosity. Henri assured herself again that it ultimately meant nothing. At least, not until Havarl and the Roekaar. Jaal’s eagerness to show off his beloved new human friend to his turncoat siblings, his bravery to show down Aksuul with a gun held to his head -- perhaps there was more to learn about Jaal than about his species.

Jaal was more than just an Angaran ally, and to him, Henri was more than a human leader.

And so utterly enthralled with his human friend, or something more, Jaal brings her to meet his family. A huge family full of love and kindness and generosity. The likes of which Ryder has never known. She doesn’t know what to do in such a thoroughly alien situation. To be so readily accepted by strangers, in many more ways than one, to be known as Jaal’s “someone special”.

She’s overwhelmed. And Jaal brings her to his “tiny sanctuary” and opens up about himself, what he did as a child, stories of who he was. How she makes his heart sing, how he wants to be with her.

Henri doesn’t know what to do. She feels that Jaal is misguided, she’s an alien to him -- she’ll just end up destroying his loving family as she destroyed hers. She has to ruminate on it for some time, likely worrying Jaal terribly as he patiently waited for an answer.

Love could mean another Reyes, used for greater goals, but Jaal -- he wore his heart on his sleeve. And it was a good one. He was honorable, he was courageous, he was loving. Lies and trickery, those horrible things had belonged to Reyes weren’t anywhere in Jaal. And she felt now, realizing in his tiny sanctuary with this man who was just as curious and enthralled with her and she was about him, that he was safe -- no, that she felt safe around him. That she could.

So she said yes.

After acceptance by Jaal, her crew, even those at the Nexus who had doubted her -- Henri became a formidable and competent Pathfinder. Confident and strong. Literally forging her own path where there was none, damn all who stood against her. At this point she knew what she was doing.

While a peerless diplomat and cultural expert, she most certainly needed a few combat pointers. Still reckless and hopelessly inexperienced in a firefight, squadmates have to yank her down from an overly aggressive hover blast or pushing her reckless butt back into cover. Jaal and Drack admired her boundless courage, as thoroughly stupid as they admitted it might be.

Though Pathfinder and a brilliant scientific mind, she filled much more of an active support role in the squad than any sort of leadership role. She knew that she could never stand on her own as Pathfinder, something that she had been struggling with her entire time in Andromeda. But now she could accept that, that she didn’t have to stand on her own if she had a team, a family, to stand beside her.

And if I would have to pick a face claim for Henri, it would have to be the lovely and talented Alison Pill.

#sneaky speaks #mass effect #mass effect andromeda #andromeda #mea #my ryder #henri ryder #henri reference #my ocs #long post #long post under read more #long

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cousinslavellan-archive · 7 years ago

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Aria can hear their friends and family cheering as they stop in front of the floral arch, sees the flashes of cameras, vaguely notices Tela catching her dropped bouquet as Jaal turns to take her hands in his, matching rings glinting on each of their left index fingers.

“So.” Jaal murmurs, expression one of serene joy.

“So.” Aria echoes, smile matching his, barely aware that Tela has settled on the end of her dress to toss more petals, keeping tight hold to the bouquet.

“I hardly dare to believe... we are joined, Darling One. You and I.” he bends forward, purring when she meets him halfway, foreheads pressing together, “Forever.”

“Forever.” she whispers, eyes closing as she basks in his presence - in the cheers, in Tela’s giggles, in the warm air and scent of flowers around them - and grips his hands tighter, “I love you, Jaal Ryder-Ama Darav.”

“As I love you, Aria Ryder-Ama Darav. My Darling. My Beloved. My Wife.”

I lost the battle and couldn’t wait till I finished the chapter woops.

CHAPTER IS UP OVER HERE!

Gorgeous commission I grabbed from @lynngo-art that depicts stuff from the next upcoming Log of the Misadventures; the wedding chapter.

Typed that little blurb out just now, I like it but we’ll see if it makes it into the actual chapter or not X3

Love love love this picture so much and yes, I squealed when I got it because sfjfjbfsv so perfect omg ♥ ♥ Just the poses and the colours and Aria and Jaal and Tela and gaaaaah ♥ ♥ ♥ I also pretty much credit Lynn with Tela’s ‘official’ design because omg so cute.

So yeah. UPCOMING WEDDING FLUFF. Thank you again Lynn for this beautiful pic so much love ♥ (I’ve been going a little art crazy while I have the funds can you tell haha ♥ And yes they both abbreviate their names I saw this idea somewhere and couldn’t resist because Jaal would ttly want them to be the same)

#jaal x ryder #ryder x jaal #rydaal #jaal ama darav #aria ryder #female ryder #the misadventures of aria ryder #angara #wedding #tela ama darav #lynngo-art #commission #gorgeous art #love this so much #meridian #home #future stuff #you guys know the weddings coming so whatev #so much love ♥

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starlit--dreams · 8 years ago

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What’s Bred in the Bone: Part II

Mass Effect: Andromeda

Jaal x Sara Ryder

A 600 year nap and a 2.5 million light-year journey to find out the answer: are humans and angara genetically compatible?

Rated M for strong language, some sexuality and violence. Alien-human pregnancy fic.

Spoilers for Jaal's romance and loyalty mission, and end of game.

Part II of ??? -- Part I - Part III - Part IV - Part V

Sara rubbed her temples, feeling the makings of a headache coming on. Which was just perfect timing, really. But they were common in her pregnancy so far. Dr. Lexi didn’t think they were a problem, provided she took her vitamins, ate well, and drank plenty of water. And they didn’t really get worse.

Just something new to discover in a human-angaran pregnancy. She really was a Pathfinder in many aspects of her life, wasn’t she?

But today was not the day she needed a headache. Today was her wedding day.

As Jaal predicted, his family had indeed rallied around them when he informed them. Sahuna, his true mother, was beside herself with excitement. Sara was buried in daily emails from her. But they did insist that Sara and Jaal marry. Legal reasons, Sara was told. She loved her newfound family, and loved the angaran people, but their laws were definitely something that gave her a headache anyways. What it boiled down to was that the children would not be considered apart of their family, with the rights and protections it afforded them under angaran law, unless they were married before the birth took place. (“Even if the mother is in labor,” Sahuna told her humorously, “as long as the baby is still inside”)

Her life had changed drastically since finding out she was pregnant. Jaal had been right about his family, but she had been right about the Initiative. Tann and Addison were not pleased, and Sara doubted that they would leave well enough alone in this case. They had to populate, Addison had told her, or risk extinct despite the “best efforts of the Pathfinder.” She should be having human babies, as much as any other race should be having their own. When Sara brought up asari, or those who didn’t want or couldn’t have children, Addison didn’t have an answer for that.

Jaal caught her hand gently, bringing her out of her thoughts. “Another headache?” he asked.

“Yep,” Sara replied, trying to look chipper. But a headache and nerves on top of feeling swollen and fat were not easily waved away.

Tenderly, he rubbed her neck, working away the tension. “The ceremony will be short,” he reminded her.

“But the party will probably go on all night, I know,” she sighed.

“At least we can sneak away if we have to.”

“I don’t want to offend everyone. We got enough complaints when we said just household family, no extended family, plus the Tempest crew.”

“Beloved, they expect us to sneak away. So we can enjoy the start of married life,” he explained patiently, although there was a warm mirth in his voice.

Sara admittedly had to blush at that. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and planted a kiss at the top of her head.

“You look radiant today,” he remarked.

“You tell me that every day,” Sara said, shaking her head.

“You look radiant every day,” he agreed. “So I don’t see why I shouldn’t say it.” His hand drifted down to her already swollen belly. She hadn’t felt any movement yet, but Lexi said she wouldn’t for another few weeks. Even with twins.

Jaal kissed her neck tenderly. “Lexi did give me a little advice on how to help with your headaches,” he said idly, his hand starting to move further down. Sara was about to protest, stopping his hand with hers, when Jaal’s mother -- his true mother, Sahuna -- came by.

“The priestess is here, and the family is ready for you,” she said, the widest grin on her face. “I can’t believe it; my favorite child is getting married!” She turned to Sara and pulled the human into an embrace.

“Mother,” Jaal started with a sigh, “every child is your favorite.”

She reached up to touch her son’s cheek. “Today, it’s just you. And Sara, of course!”

The ceremony was short enough. Vows were made -- traditional angaran ones, and a few human ones the family insisted be said as well -- and a blessing was given. Sara’s favorite part of the blessing was the implication that two souls were destined to meet across lifetimes if their love was strong enough. She and Scott had been raised in a secular house, like Suvi, with scientists for parents, but there was a beauty and an openness Sara felt at the words nonetheless.

A darkly humorous realization was that she was more or less the only one in the room that was unarmed and unarmored, other than the Tempest’s noncombatants and the various angaran children. It was at both Jaal’s and Cora’s insistence, and the family agreed. Havarl was safer now, but it wasn’t Aya still.

The ceremony itself was concluded not with a kiss, as with many human cultures, but with a ceremonial cup of very bitter tea shared between them.

But Jaal did pull her into a kiss afterwards. “Liam said I should,” he murmured to her. “Human custom, he said, and popular in all the vids.”

Sara couldn’t help but giggle and blush, a very happy smile plastered on her face.

A loud cheer had gone up around them, and the party started.

“So my big sister is married now,” later came her twin’s voice at her side. Sara turned to Scott, facing her own smile radiating back at her. At Dad’s smile. He looked so much like him, it made Sara’s heart ache for a moment.

“Yeah. I’m a little surprised everything’s happened so quickly. I still won’t even have them for a long time.”

Scott pulled her into a hug. “I think the angarans are starting to rub off on me, too,” he chuckled, and Sara could hear the slight crack of emotion in his voice. “I hope you’re happy, sis. I know he’ll take good care of you. I’d hate to see Sahuna’s wrath of he doesn’t.”

“What, Sahuna’s? Not Drack’s, or Vetra’s, or Cora’s, or hell, Suvi’s?” Sara taunted with a laugh.

“Nope. Always fear the mother,” he grinned back.

The party was fairly informal, with plenty of food -- and Vetra made sure there was a variety of Milky Way as well as Andromedan, with dextro for her -- and drinks, and made cosy with cushions and low chairs for seats.

At fourteen weeks with twins, Sara’s belly was already the size of a small watermelon. Getting up and down from the low seating was going to be difficult. But, oh, she wanted off her feet so badly. Just as she was eyeing them and figuring that she could pester Jaal to help her up when she needed to pee there was a small commotion at the entrance to the home.

Sahuna was at her side in an instant.

“My daughter,” she said proudly, a warm smile at her lips. “Pathfinder Ryder, the Moshae has come and honored us with a visit. Or specifically, you and your husband.”

“Oh,” Sara blinked. That was… unexpected. Sahuna ushered her into a small side room of the house, where Jaal and the Moshae were already waiting and seemed to be in a serious conversation.

“Hello again, Moshae Sjefa,” Sara announced before coming too close. She didn’t want to intrude on what looked like a private conversation. The Moshae quickly fell silent, turning her large eyes on Sara.

“Pathfinder Ryder. Or is it Pathfinder Ama Darav now?” she greeted back, head slightly canted, a mischievous sparkle in her eye.

“Ryder,” Sara clarified. “At least, right now. But I’ll answer to both.”

“You’ll have to be both, now,” she pointed out. “And yes, Jaal, both; so before you grumble about her keeping her last name, consider the tangled web you both find yourselves in. Do they not have reproductive blockers in your home galaxy?”

Sara grit her teeth. She liked the Moshae, usually, but the woman could be prickly when she had a strong opinion.

“Of course. They wore off before I could renew them, and I didn’t think I’d actually conceive anything.”

“No, I suppose not. There haven’t been many studies. Unfortunately, it fell to you to find out from experience rather than a scientific study. Regardless, I am here to tell you that rumors are swirling, and many of our people aren’t happy with this.”

“I know,” Sara said soberly. “I didn’t think it would be an easy issue.”

“It was prudent for you to marry so quickly,” the Moshae continued. “Because if the governors and arbiter and Efvra stopped arguing about what they’ll do about it and actually did something, you might not have been able to. You are not a citizen under our law, Pathfinder, but by marrying before they forbid it, they will likely have no choice to recognize the marriage and your children.

“But it brings up an important subject. You have joined an angaran family. Aside from being a mother, you will have obligations to fulfil to them and to the angaran people.”

“I’ve worked my ass off to foster peace between our people,” Sara said, trying to keep her temper in check. “If I haven’t proven myself by now -- “

“This isn’t about you proving you can be a friend to our people,” the Moshae cut her off, “or even fostering good relations. This is about becoming a part of us, and being our Pathfinder as well. This is about conflict of interest.”

Sara shut her mouth at that. “I see what you mean,” she answered after a moment.

“Moreover,” the Moshae began again, a little more gently, and stood to reach out for Sara’s belly. “This is about them as much as you. They will be probably the most unique beings in the galaxy. Maybe for a short time, maybe forever. They will wonder why. They will search for their place. You must make that place for them, between cultures, in a galaxy that will shun them. Can you do it? Can you be both Ryder and Ama Darav?”

“Pathfinder,” Sara murmured.

“Yes.” It was a simple confirmation of the direction of her thoughts.

This ran deeper than maybe she initially realized. Or maybe she did realize it, only for the light at the end of the tunnel to appear before her.

What was it that Drack had told her? Parents were the starting line.

She had six months to get them a good starting line. Six months to get the angaran government and the Initiative to accept that this happened. Dread was an icy ball in the pit of her stomach.

“I came to give you advice, and now I have,” the Moshae said, giving Sara’s belly a final rub. “Regardless, Pathfinder… you have my support in this. May your children be born healthy.”

Sara was left chewing her lip in anxiousness.

The only hint of Jaal’s approach was the rumbling she could hear in his chest just before he wrapped his arms around her. “She didn’t have to upset my wife on our wedding night,” he muttered.

“But it needed to be heard,” she told him. “She wasn’t wrong to come. Anyways… hey, let’s get back to the party a little longer.”

“Just for a bit,” he allowed. “I still have to help you get rid of that headache.”

#jaal ama darav #jaal x sara ryder #rydarav #mass effect andromeda #sara ryder #whats bred in the bone

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do-i-love-jaal-today · 8 years ago

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April 17th, 2017

In some alternate universe, Jaal Ama Darav doesn't exist. It's a really weird concept to think about.

But anyways, I love Jaal and definitely don't want to live in that alternate universe. Not having such a beloved character NOT grace my life feels like a curse of some kind....

#Do I Love Jaal Today?#Jaal Ama Darav

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lafaiette · 8 years ago

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Give Yourself To Harmony - 2 / ?

This huge alien who looks like a chubby, purple potato, this loud man who is part of the newest alien species just discovered in Heleus, this angara who expresses himself so freely and openly just like the rest of his species, is his sister’s boyfriend.

Her first boyfriend, since her nerd ass never found someone intelligent enough to understand how special she is.

At least, that means this weird guy is clever.

In which Scott Ryder finally meets Jaal Ama Darav, his sister’s boyfriend. It will take him a while to get used to this.

Also on AO3

Warning: this fic contains spoilers of the game, the ending, and the post-game content!

Jaal’s arms are the safest place in the galaxy.

Warm and strong, they wrap around Ryder like a protective barrier, shielding her from any harm, drowning her in his sweet, floral perfume and his little noises of happiness, which are accompanied by the electromagnetism flowing in his body, singing in tune with her heartbeat.

He is a piece of heaven fallen from the stars and she can’t still believe she was so lucky to find him and be with him. Their first date, the one in his family home, is still strongly vivid in her mind and she agrees with what he said that day.

You make my heart sing.

He gently lowers her down onto the floor, but he hesitates a long second before pulling away; ending their hugs and kisses is always a hard thing to do, for both of them, but it got even more difficult for him after he saw her die again in Khi Tasira.

He smiles at her, watching her with that bright, loving smile he has for her only, then blinks quickly, remembering where they are and what he needs to show her.

“Look who is here!”

And behind him, Ryder sees her brother, finally standing, finally not so mortally pale anymore, finally breathing normally. There are dark circles under his eyes and his lips are chapped, but he is alive and well and that hole in her heart that Jaal and the Tempest crew managed to close quite a bit is finally almost sealed completely.

“Scott!” she exclaims happily, running into his arms. This one is an even more familiar hug, one that speaks of the first home they left behind, of the days spent at Mom’s side while she slowly lost her battle to her illness, of the times they finally saw each other again after being separated for months due to their jobs, of Dad’s awkward jokes that SAM now inherited.

“I’m so happy you are here, little bro.” she says, squeezing him tightly, already imagining all the fun they are gonna have, just like old times. Now that he is on the Tempest too, her family truly is almost complete – they only need Mom.

She makes a mental note to talk to her friends as soon as possible about this – Cora deserves to know why she wasn’t chosen as Pathfinder and everyone deserves to learn about Ellen Ryder’s actual conditions. They are her friends, her new family, and that’s something too big, too important, something that she cannot kept in her heart anymore, especially not with Jaal.

But for now, this topic will have to wait. First comes Scott, his health, the consequences he suffered under the Archon’s attack, his future life on the ship, his future relationships with the crew and Jaal.

Lexi warned her that there might be some problems with his psychological stability and Ryder doesn’t blame him; she is feeling frailer than usual too, but she has had more lifelines keeping her afloat than he has.

It’s her duty and pleasure, as older sister, to help him with this too. And she knows the others will support him as well.

“Did you see the Nexus? Isn’t it great?” she continues, without letting him go. His hold on her has actually gotten stronger, almost painful, and she can feel him tremble. He is hiding his face against her shoulder and she pauses after hearing a hiccup.

The crew falls silent and their smiles disappear as Scott starts sobbing.

Behind her, Jaal gasps and immediately comes closer; Liam and Lexi step forward too, while the others share worried looks or watch the scene with melancholic eyes.

The last time he cried like this was when Mom ‘died’. They cried together, in the living room, until the sky got dark and Dad finally left his room to tell them to eat something.

(His eyes were red too and his face too pale, but he looked calmer than what they expected and now she understands why.)

“Scott.” she calls softly, rubbing his back, but that only causes him to cry harder.

“Ryder, I’m sensing high levels of stress in Scott’s body.” SAM intervenes, his tone softer than usual, and she nods, resting her cheek on her brother’s hair. He smells like too-clean sheets and medicines.

“I know, SAM.” she says. Scott hiccups again, sniffles, and finally his sobs end. He slowly pulls away and she can see his face: mottled red cheeks, his dark circles darker than before, his eyes bloodshot.

He’s still trembling and his nose is running a bit; she sees Kallo rummage into his pocket and hand him a clean handkerchief, which Scott takes with a shaky, brief smile.

“Thank you.” he says, his voice too rough and hoarse, like sandpaper rubbed on rock, and he dries his eyes and nose, one hand still clinging to Ryder’s shirt.

“Better?” she asks, shooting him a big smile, and he nods, humming.

“I’m sorry.” he babbles, suddenly embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to… to…”

“Scott, you know what I did the first night I spent here?” Liam says, entering his field of vision to reassure him with a grin. “I cried like a baby. I’m not kidding! All night, big, fat tears that never stopped.”

“Same.” Suvi adds with a nod and a somewhat sad, but warm smile. “It is perfectly normal. And you went through so much, I would be surprised to not see you cry.”

“You know what you need? Drack’s Surprise.” The old krogan puts his hands on his hips, ready to get to work. “It’s gonna make you feel alive again in no time. Just give me three hours and it’s yours, kid.”

“What… what is Drack’s Surprise?” Scott giggles, still rubbing his eyes. His sister laughs and explains, shaking her head with fondness: “A special dish. Drack is pretty good at cooking, you know?”

“Kid, you say that as if I’m not good at other things too.”

“Don’t worry, he will make it extra spicy, just for you.” Ryder promises, patting her brother’s hand, and he nods. He’s breathing better and there is a small, but genuine smile on his pale lips.

“Remember, you can cry whenever and wherever you want.” she says slowly, almost a soothing whisper, something she learned from Jaal.

Speaking of him, he is standing next to her and he rests a hand on Scott’s shoulder, his eyes kind and full of affection.

“Brother,” he says, his deep, rumbling voice sending a warm shiver down her spine and filling her heart with peace, “there is no shame in crying. Let all your emotions out and let us help you.”

Right in that moment, she sees it. Scott’s expression changes drastically and he stiffens as soon as Jaal’s hand touches his shoulder. He casts his eyes down and just mumbles something that sounds affirmative.

That’s enough for Jaal, who apparently doesn’t notice the way her twin tensed up, but Ryder knows Scott well and she recognized the emotions on his face.

‘What is going on?’ she thinks, the warm shiver from before turning into cold sweat. She has a bad feeling about this.

On their private channel, SAM chimes in: “Chloe, Scott’s stress levels and heartbeat have increased. I do not know him well like I know you, but I believe he is experiencing what organics refer to as rage and annoyance.”

“Yes, I saw it.” she agrees, watching her brother talk with Lexi. He looks completely calm now and that dark shadow in his eyes is gone, replaced by sleepiness and drained, tired, but stubborn enthusiasm.

“Perhaps Scott’s encounter with Mr. Ama Darav…”

Ryder manages to curl her lips into a small smile, despite her worry. “You can call him Jaal, SAM, you know that.”

“… Perhaps his encounter with Jaal didn’t go well. May I suggest to speak with your beloved?”

Ryder turns to her big, tall, adorable boyfriend. A hand on her waist, he is watching Scott talk with the others too and there is a thoughtful expression on his face; he doesn’t look worried or disappointed, just very busy with his thoughts.

“Hey.” she calls softly, gently tracing the scar on his cheek. He immediately looks down at her and smiles, the hand on her waist sending pleasant vibrations into her skin.

“Yes, my Darling One?”

Should she ask him here and now? How is she supposed to ask this, anyway? Is there even a right way?

‘Hey, honey, was your encounter with my brother that you pictured in your head for days a disaster?’

She knows Jaal prefers to be talked to in a clear, direct way, without useless paraphrases, but this might be too direct even for him.

However, if things really went wrong, he would tell her, right? He would show it.

She sees no sadness or pain on his face; he was overjoyed, thrilled, when he showed her Scott and he still looks completely calm.

Maybe he didn’t realize something was wrong during his meeting with her brother?

Or perhaps nothing went wrong and she and SAM are just reading too much into this and…

“My Darling One?” Jaal’s face is so very close to hers now. “Are you alright?”

She focuses on him and his eyes and all her worries suddenly disappear, as if they never existed. He has that special effect on her and he told her she has the same on him.

“Yes.” she answers, smiling happily. She kisses him and a new smile immediately blooms on his face too. “Let’s show Scott the ship.”

“Excellent idea-”

“No.” it’s Lexi’s peremptory answer. She glares at them both, a hand on Scott’s arm. “For now, let’s just show him where his bed is, then he will go straight to the medbay.”

“Harry examined me one last time before I left!” he weakly protests, but she doesn’t even want to hear it and her next glare is for him. It’s both professional and maternal, an unbeatable combination that leaves Scott defenseless.

“Fine.” he groans, before eyeing his sister with quiet despair and a silent request.

“Of course I’ll come with you, silly.” she laughs and she is relieved to see him beam at her.

She misses the way his smile fades away, though, when Jaal tags along and she takes his hand.

She made sure to give him the best bed in the crew quarters, the one with the softest mattress, the one two centimeters longer than the others, the one with the best pillow.

Drack is right, they are not all the same, but she will never admit it.

Peebee begs Vetra to switch beds, so she can sleep above Scott and “share bedtime stories with him”, but the turian snorts and refuses, saying her turian mattress weighs too much to be moved.

“And I know what kind of stories you are talking about.”

“Not the sexy type, of course!” But her lie is evident and she tries to distract Scott by telling him of the time she used to sleep in one of the escape pods of the ship.

“Then I jettisoned Ryder and myself…”

“And me.” Cora grumbles from the terminal she’s using to add Scott to the Infoboard.

“… and Cora into a volcano, so I had to move into another room. This one, to be precise.”

Scott looks appalled by the idea of his sister fighting her way into an erupting volcano, but he has regained enough self-control to avoid snapping at Peebee’s recklessness and smile awkwardly at her.

“There, you are in.” Cora announces, then she proceeds to show him the characteristics of the chat the crew shares to exchange messages and important information.

At least, that’s how she describes it, but Scott wasn’t born yesterday and he immediately sees how funny, simple, domestic the topics discussed are.

“Suvi, you… you got your mug stuck on a box in the engine room?” he asks in disbelief, reading one of the many posts where the science officer’s mug suffered a terrible fate, just like her coffee.

“More than once.” Gil comments from the door with a dramatic sigh, sticking out his tongue at her when Suvi pouts at him.

Meanwhile, Drack and Kallo are in the galley, unboxing rations and preparing dinner – if the salarians and krogans of the past could see the scene, they would be disgusted, but Drack treats Kallo just like he treats the rest of the crew and Kallo gossips with him with the same easiness he gossips with Suvi.

There are already spicy and pungent smells in the air and even if Drack’s Surprise will take a while to be ready, there is more food they can eat before starting the real dinner.

Peebee, Liam, and Vetra agree to prepare the tables together – they needed to buy a second, foldable one after realizing Drack and Jaal took half of the space in the galley –, while Gil shows Scott the bathroom, already apologizing for the small size.

“So, the Pathfinder doesn’t have her own shower?” Scott half-heartedly jokes, smirking at his sister from above his shoulder. She and Jaal are making more space in the wardrobe, so that he will be able to put his stuff in there as he most prefers; she shoots him a pointed look, pretending to be offended, and replies curtly: “I am a selfless, humble Pathfinder.”

“You can’t modify the layout of the ship and build a second bathroom in your quarters, silly.”

“Who says that?”

“Uh, Kallo?” Gil intervenes, raising his eyebrows. “I’m sure I just heard him gasp. Don’t say these things when he’s around, Scott, or he’s gonna die sooner than most salarians.”

He and Scott laugh at that, promptly reprimanded by Suvi and Cora, but even though the joke was silly, Ryder finds herself smiling, because her brother finally looks and sounds like himself again.

What she saw before in his eyes, that weird rage mixed with irritability, was probably caused by his tiredness, a natural impulse born out of stress.

Jaal is smiling too. Now that she thinks about it, he has been smiling a lot, more than usual, since their victory against the Archon. No, perhaps even before that: he has been happier, even more open and extroverted, since their beautiful, perfect day on Aya, when they made love to each other for the first time.

She watches him move, take out, and put stuff into the wardrobe, studying its size, calculating all the space Scott might need with precision and care. He is humming under his breath, a melody she never heard before, probably an angaran tune, and she giggles.

He turns to her, blushing a little – she can see it now -, but his smile doesn’t falter and he asks, curious: “Why are you laughing, my light?”

“It’s nothing. You just look really excited.” She pecks his cheek and he grins, nodding quickly.

“I am! This is so much similar to when a sibling returns after a long journey or their trip to Aya! A member of our family is coming back home. It’s an important event.”

He looks at Scott, who is studying the desk and small pantry of the room, and calls him, raising his voice so much even Drack and Kallo in the galley probably heard him.

“Brother! Come put your stuff in here!” He laughs, hands on his hips, and promises him: “Then we will accompany you to the medbay!”

Ryder sees it again: that glint in Scott’s eyes, something akin to distaste, but not quite. It’s definitely close to anger, though, and she can’t deny it anymore.

Something is wrong, whether Jaal knows it or not.

That look lasts only a millisecond – enough for her to see it and recognize it -, then Scott smiles – a too polite, shaky thing to be considered warm and genuine enough – and says: “I’m coming.”

He starts putting his armor and clothes into the – large – space Jaal and Ryder made for him, all while Jaal tries to start a conversation with him, giving him advices to maximize the benefits of the space available, the best combinations of the different parts of his armor and outfits, his memories of home and his childhood which greatly helped him develop such expertise.

“With so many siblings, it’s only natural to learn how and where put your stuff.” he chuckles, but once again Scott replies with a simple, short sound and that same polite smile that doesn’t really mean anything.

For someone as open as Jaal, that reaction is the equivalent of someone telling him to shut up and go away with a punch to the face. For the humans in the room, it’s not that much different and the mood suddenly and abruptly changes, as if someone turned all the lights on and showed things as they really were.

Scott is still tense and stiff and every time Jaal gets too close or Ryder touches his arm, he jolts as if burned and frowns, ignoring both of them with a stubbornness that could rival their Dad’s.

Jaal now senses – sees – that something is off; that painful realization is written on his face, plain as day, but he is as stubborn as Scott or perhaps just too kind and hopeful, and so he doesn’t give up, trying again and again to make him talk, to finally start being brothers, brothers-in-law, and not just acquaintances.

Chloe is about to cry. Spending so much time with Jaal and the angara in general really made her softer, but not in a bad way, that way that mercenaries and outlaws in the vids always sneer at, believing it to be equal to weakness.

It’s a softness that makes the heart and the mind stronger and she can’t understand how she lived without it until now.

Still, it can make things harder than usual sometimes: like when she and the crew watch sad vids and she finally lets herself go without shame, promptly followed by Liam and Suvi and sometimes even by Kallo and Gil. Or like when the Nexus’ expectations are too many and she feels overwhelmed and the stress weighs on her like a boulder.

But even then, they are natural reactions, natural responses to the world around her that humans usually try to keep down, hidden in their hearts and rooms, to avoid feeling ashamed in public. But being ashamed for one’s feelings is something that doesn’t exist in angaran society and it seems like the Milky Way species are slowly learning that from them, a lesson they should have learned much sooner.

She hopes they are teaching good things to the angara in return. Jaal said they are, that the humans’ creativity and the turians’ sense of honor are precious gifts to witness and experience, and she believes him, because he is always honest and his honesty never replaces kindness.

This is why she could understand Scott’s first reaction upon being thrown into this new life aboard the Tempest. She can relate so much to him now, more than before, but this particular annoyance directed at Jaal only indicates that his stress disorder and trauma are not the only causes of his behavior.

“All done.” her brother announces, closing the wardrobe and stepping back at the speed of light, far from her and Jaal. Their family has never been particularly touchy-feely, but they still knew how to hug or pat each other’s back.

This distance feels wrong, forced: he’s deliberately avoiding them, as if he fears to catch who knows what disease or get trapped in their tight hugs.

“I’m going to Lexi, now.” he says, smiling awkwardly at them, aware of the fact that they are aware of his problem now. He walks backwards, still facing them, opening and closing his mouth while his brain attempts to find something clever to say, but nothing comes out and in the end the door automatically opens.

“We can accompany you if-” Ryder starts, but he shakes his head, eyes going wide with panic, and he cuts her off: “No! No, thanks, sis. I mean, the ship isn’t that big, I won’t get lost.”

He tries to smile again, but fails and then he leaves, leaving her, her boyfriend, and their friends alone in the room, stunned and embarrassed.

“Poor guy really needs a good night of sleep.” Gil breaks the silence in the end, getting some affirmative hums from Cora and Suvi, but Ryder watches the closed door with a growing sense of dread in the pit of her stomach.

It gets better only when Jaal’s hand touches the small of her back and she feels his lips touch the top of her head.

- - - -

She doesn’t dare join Scott and Lexi in their conversation; it’s private and too delicate, especially since it will most likely be a psychological session. She is sure Lexi will be able to make him feel better and help him understand what is causing him so much trouble and pain.

Drack’s Surprise will take a while, so she and Jaal take refuge in their quarters, far from Cora’s questioning looks – What is wrong with your brother, Ryder? – and Gil’s sorry eyes – That sucked.

She needs to talk with Jaal and this is the perfect time and place to do so. Gone are his excitement and joy: he sits quietly and somberly on their bed, cleaning his rifle, his Rofjinn lying next to him.

“Sweetheart.” she calls, knowing he adores when she calls him sweet names and uses funny endearments.

They make me feel part of your heart, he said once and she replied, causing him to nearly cry there and then: You are.

He raises his eyes from the weapon, but doesn’t speak, waiting for her to do so. She sits on the bed and rests her head on his shoulder, watching his large hands rub a smooth cloth on the rifle and dismantle it easily to reach the inner parts.

It’s a sight she saw before, back when they still weren’t together, when they still weren’t even friends; they took apart weapons and modded them together in a pleasant silence, sharing advices and ideas once in a while, learning more about each other that way.

This time the silence isn’t exactly pleasant; it’s familiar, calm, and they both feel safe in each other’s presence, but Jaal’s eyes are worried and the galaxies in them swirl sadly, slower than usual.

Chloe kisses his scarred cheek, enjoying the slightly electrical feeling, and calls again: “Darling One.”

At that, he moves his head and lightens up a little, even showing a small, precious smile.

“Yes?”

“Tell me what troubles you.”

Jaal goes back to cleaning his rifle and she doesn’t stop him, knowing he needs those repetitive movements to calm down and let his mind focus on something else rather than his worries. He told her so once, when he was busy making gifts for the crew. She remembers everything he tells her.

“I don’t think Scott likes me.” he says in the end, a barely audible whisper that contains all the sadness and shame in the world.

He is ashamed because he thinks it’s his fault? That he failed her?

She is definitely going to cry now.

“Honey,” she starts, hoping her voice won’t break too much as she speaks, “that’s not true. Scott likes you, he’s just…”

He’s just tired. Scared. I think?

Where is Mom when you need her? She could always understand Scott better than she or Dad could.

“He’s just gone through a lot, like everyone else. But he has been alone and far from us, from me, for quite some time and it’s hard to get back into things when they are so new and…”

“And alien.” he gently interrupts her, his smile smaller, frailer, than before. “I understand that, taoshay, I completely do. But I fear this is about me in particular.”

She swallows, knowing he might be right. She prays he’s not, she prays Scott is just being really sensitive to Jaal’s louder manners and that he’s going to treat him kindly in a day or two, but something tells her things are more complicated than that.

“He likes you.” she repeats, to convince both him and herself. Jaal frowns, confused, and asks: “Did he tell you so? When?”

“I…! No, he didn’t tell me, but…” She sighs, sliding her arms around his and resting her cheek on his shoulder again, watching his hands go still on the rifle. “I can see it. I know he likes you, Jaal, he just needs time to get used to all this.”

“I saw something else.” he says softly. “Your brother tries to hide his true feelings, but he is not very good at it, just like angara. I saw distaste in his eyes.”

Chloe grimaces and bites her lips. Jaal might be the biggest sweetheart in the world, but he isn’t naïve and very few people can hide things from him and his perceptive, brilliant mind.

“Jaal.” She raises her head and sees he’s watching her intently, his expression a weird mix between resignation and hope. “Maybe – maybe – he doesn’t like you now, but he will do soon. I’m sure of that, believe me.”

“It might help knowing why he doesn’t like me.” he softly whispers, self-consciousness dripping heavily from each of his word. “Maybe I shouldn’t have hugged him when I met him outside the Cultural Center?”

Chloe snorts, trying to imagine her brother being lifted up by her bulky, tall angaran boyfriend. The scene looks funny in her head, but considering how antsy and nervous Scott seems to be, it’s probable he was deeply annoyed by it.

“It’s because of that, isn’t it?” Jaal sighs, looking at the stars visible from the window with a small, adorable pout.

“You probably were one of the first angara he ever saw. And speaking of angara, he never interacted with your species before, so he probably doesn’t know how to act around you. Maybe he fears to disrupt months of delicate diplomacy or who knows what else.”

Jaal turns to her again and she smiles, feeling confident about her reasoning, which she believes to be one of the reasons her brother is being so standoffish around Jaal. But her boyfriend isn’t so sure and he tells her so, frowning as he thinks hard about it.

“But, light of my life… you weren’t like that at all when you first met me and my people.”

She blinks, blushing a little.

“I was not?”

“No.” Jaal smirks, putting the rifle aside to wrap his arms around her. “You were professional and kind. Sometimes you looked unsure about what to say or do, but you rarely lost your control. You always treated us – and me – with great respect.”

His words make her blush even more and smile goofily, but it hurts a little to know that Scott, in comparison, can be considered extremely rude.

“Well, what can I say – you guys were and are amazing.” she says, grinning at him, but his smile is sweet and soft like his kisses and the utter adoration in his eyes is vast like the sky, so much her silly joke feels out of place and she immediately gets serious again.

“You are.” she repeats, a loving whisper that caresses his lips. “You are amazing.”

She kisses him, a hand on his cheek, the other on his shoulder, and his hands pull her closer to his chest so that he can deepen the kiss.

“Especially you, Jaal Ama Darav. Never doubt that.” she concludes after they pull away, lips moist and eyes full of emotion.

His fear, which he was able to push down for a bit, comes back and he babbles, looking for reassurance: “Do you think he will change his mind about me?”

“Of course he will! He just needs more time. He needs to know you better.” She cups his cheeks and rests her forehead against his, breathing deeply. His perfume smells stronger today. He must have used more of it for the big day and her heart beats painfully in her chest at the thought.

“He’s probably a bit jealous too.” she laughs, but Jaal is confused by that notion.

“Jealous? Of what?”

“Well… brothers and fathers can be overprotective of their sisters and daughters, when a partner enters the scene.”

Jaal hums at that, frowning a little.

“Really? Angara are protective of all their children and siblings, no matter who they are.”

“I know. But things are different for some humans. They fear their sister or daughter’s partner might take her away from them. It’s…” Chloe makes a funny sound, rolling her eyes. “It’s silly, I know.”

“It is.” Jaal agrees, his frown bigger. “Why would their daughter or sister be taken away from them by her beloved? They would still be her family, still be in her heart, still belong to her soul!”

“See?” She kisses his nose. “This is why you guys are the best.”

Jaal laughs at that, but then he gets serious again – almost solemn – and asks quietly: “Darling One… do you think your dad would have been jealous too? Would have he liked me?”

That makes her brain stop of a bit. She is almost surprised not to hear SAM announce that all her brain activities have been interrupted.

She recalls her father’s mannerisms and ways, his serious face when twelve-years-old Chloe first confessed to him and Mom there was a turian kid she liked in her multi-species school; his small, but amused smile when he told her to go for it and see how it went.

She recalls the red spots on his cheeks when Mom first gave her and Scott The Talk, his hand covering his eyes when she started talking about reproduction.

She remembers him sitting on Scott’s bed, giving him advices about one of his crushes in high-school, and his voice every time he told her to be careful on the streets, no matter the time of day, because “there are seriously fucked-up individuals around, so remember your training”.

Then she thinks about Jaal, so earnest, kind, thoughtful, and loving, so protective in his own way, so funny and sweet, so strong and selfless, so smug and timid.

She pictures him shaking hands with her dad in the angaran way, modding weapons and shooting kett together, talking about the Milky Way – Dad would smile at the way he pronounces it -, about Aya, about life and family and love.

Then she pictures Dad awkwardly hugging Sahuna, standing stiffly at the center of Jaal’s house, surrounded by countless of curious siblings and children, and in the end letting them study his beard and N7 armor with a chuckle.

He would thank Sahuna for Jaal and then he would thank Jaal for the love he is giving his daughter.

“Yes.” she says in the end, tears in her eyes and a big smile on her face. “Yes, he would adore you.”

Jaal smiles too, brushing away her tears with his thumbs, and there are relief and contentment on his face. Then he gets timid and if his hands weren’t on her face, he would probably start fidgeting.

“What… what about your mom? Would have she liked me too?”

She will. If those wistful fantasies about Dad meeting Jaal and his family are just that – fantasies that won’t ever become true now -, those starring Mom can still be real. She is alive and SAM is sure a cure will be found, hopefully before Chloe and Scott reach her same age.

The problem is that she still hasn’t told Jaal that. He still doesn’t know about Ellen Ryder’s conditions and she wonders why she didn’t tell him sooner. He would only be happy, crazy with joy for her, and they would have one more beautiful thing to look forward to.

She knows she should ask Scott first – Ellen is his mother too, after all -, but she also knows that Jaal will never tell this to anyone if she asks him to, so she can prepare herself to tell the others.

She decides to tell him. Here, in their room, surrounded by stars, while Drack’s Surprise slowly takes form in the oven and Scott vents with Lexi in the medbay.

“She will.” she says with a confident nod of her head and at first Jaal smiles, looking like the happiest man in the galaxy, but then he makes a confused sound and blinks.

“She will?”

She starts to explain it to him; he already knows about her father’s locked memories and initially he nods, listening intently to her. Then she mentions the benefactor – and for a second she almost tells him about the Reapers too, but that would be a too big burden; it’s so painful she has to pretend she never heard about it in the first place and she knows Jaal would feel and experience her same pain as if he was part of the Milky Way Galaxy too.

SAM intervenes too, explaining things more clearly or offering more insight into Alec’s actions and wishes, and here Jaal’s eyes start to widen. At the end of the explanation, his mouth hangs open and he can only stare at her, speechless.

“Uh… Jaal?” She laughs nervously, tugging at his hand. “Are you okay?”

He closes his mouth and then something that she always considers like a gift from heaven happens: he starts laughing, triumphantly and joyously, and he takes her in his arms, swirling her around.

“My Darling One! This is wonderful, marvelous news!”

She laughs with him and he is as excited as she was when she learned the truth: there are tears in his eyes and he talks fast, babbling, and can’t stay still; his hands touch her everywhere, her face, her waist, her shoulders, and he asks more questions, to her and SAM, and in the end he stops, smiling at her like she is the best thing in the world, like he knew things would go this way because she is perfect and she deserves only the best.

“My love.” he says, taking her hands, and leaning in just like he did on the bridge of the ship, the day they fought the Archon, only that this time they are not going to war, but moving towards peace and a place of our own instead.

“My heart is bursting with joy.” He nuzzles her nose and she giggles, sniffling, because tears are in her eyes too. “Your father’s secret… is this why you waited to tell us?”

“Yes, but I should have told you sooner. Just… can we just wait a little more before telling the others? This is pretty big stuff and if rumors started spreading around on the Nexus…”

“Of course!” He brushes back her bangs and his gloved fingers linger a bit on her hair. He has always been fascinated by it. “Of course, my Darling One.”

She bites her lower lip and adds, slowly, carefully: “There is something else too. This concerns the Milky Way Galaxy and it’s even more serious, but… I need more time. Can you… can you wait some more to hear it?”

He chuckles, in that endearing way that means ‘you’re such an adorable woman’, and nods, still brushing her hair and stroking her face, his electromagnetism sending playful sparks down her neck and shoulders.

“Take all the time you need.” He lowers his voice and rests his forehead on hers again, murmuring: “Thank you for trusting me with this, Darling One.”

“You make me feels safe.” she says, smiling brightly, and he looks so happy she is sure she will start seeing rainbows appear in the room soon.

“Chloe, Jaal,” SAM suddenly speaks, making them both jump, “Mr. Kosta and Scott are asking for permission to enter your quarters.”

“Oh!” She and Jaal exchange a surprised look, then she nods and replies: “Let them enter, SAM.”

They pull away from each other a little bit to avoid upsetting Scott, but he will have to get used to them sooner or later, so they end up holding their hands as he and Liam step into the room.

“Hey, guys! Scott here wants to see the rest of the ship. I thought he could start from here.” Liam sighs and gestures at the whole room, letting his arms fall with a wistful expression. “Look at that view. Look at all this space.”

“The perks of being a Pathfinder.” Ryder quips smugly, earning herself a grin from Liam and a half-smile from her brother.

His eyes linger on Jaal and it seems he doesn’t know how to look at him, whether with exasperation for finding him in his sister’s quarters (although he knows this is his room too) or curiosity.

He opts for hiding it all and pretending the angara isn’t even there, so he looks around after thanking Liam - who quickly leaves the room - and whistles.

“This is quite the room.” His eyes move across it, from the planetary view that shows the situation on the outposts, to the desk, which Ryder and Jaal share with each other.

Their stuff is there – various tech pieces, small weaponry, salves, datapads, Chloe’s books -, but Scott pretends not to see it, just like he pretends he can’t see Jaal’s Rofjinn on the bed and his armor and belts peeking out from the wardrobe and boxes near the bed.

“SAM! You’re here!” he exclaims, smiling at the holographic figure of the AI.

“Hello, Scott. Are you feeling better?”

He hesitates, taken aback, but he quickly regains his composure and answers, smiling: “Yes, thank you. Lexi is a great doctor.”

“I’m glad to hear so.”

Then he sees Alec’s helmet. At first, he is almost too overwhelmed to approach the small table, but then he slowly walks over to it and hovers his fingers over the glass, then brushes them against the name Alec etched on the side of the helmet so many years ago.

It lasts only a few minutes, but at the end of it Scott’s hands are shaking and there is that haunted look in his eyes again.

“Scott.” Chloe moves near him and touches his shoulder, a gentle poke to make him look at her. “Little bro, let’s go see the cargo bay and the other parts of the ship.”

He nods and moves to follow her out of the room; Jaal of course comes with them and the two of them stop at the door, unsure whether to proceed or let the other pass first.

“Uh…”

“Mh…”

Jaal fidgets and Scott avoids his eyes, watching his sister move along the corridor; she is blissfully unaware of what is happening just two steps behind her, but if they don’t answer her soon she will turn back and see how childish and stupid they are.

Scott hesitates some more; Jaal’s good manners and his strong desire to be liked by his future brother-in-law force him to let him pass, but the human doesn’t understand his intentions or maybe he’s too proud to accept his offer.

“You first.” Scott babbles in the end, smiling awkwardly at him, but Jaal shakes his head.

“No, you first!”

Scott frowns, his politeness replaced by that same annoyance and confusion from before.

“I insist.”

Jaal’s fidgeting gets worse and he glances at Ryder, who is talking to Drack and Kallo from the corridor. She still hasn’t seen what her boyfriend and her brother are doing and he hopes they will resolve this issue before she does.

“It would make me really happy to let you precede me, brother.” Jaal insists, hoping sincerity will help him in this difficult challenge.

Scott narrows his eyes at him and stays quiet.

Maybe not, then.

“Why are you always so kind?” he suddenly asks, bitterness in his voice, sadness in his eyes. He looks like Chloe, but at the same time he doesn’t and he definitely doesn’t sound like her. It scares and confuses Jaal beyond measure.

“You don’t even know me. You don’t have to treat me like this just because I’m your girlfriend’s brother.”

“I don’t treat you with kindness because of that. Not just because of that, anyway.” Jaal shakes his head, wondering if his hug at the start of their encounter could really be the cause of all this distaste.

“You are family. You were always there for Chloe and you love her. I know you have a gentle, selfless heart. Why shouldn’t I treat you kindly and respect you?”

Something breaks in Scott and his tired, drained eyes suddenly come alive; a dangerous fire burns in them and he snaps at Jaal, fists closed, voice rising to too high levels: “That’s not true! I wasn’t there for her, for anybody! I did nothing! And you can keep your… your sympathy and pity and shove them where the sun doesn’t shine!”

If Ryder didn’t hear them before, now she definitely did. The entire ship heard them, in fact, and everyone’s head is peeking out from the open doors, like curious animals alerted by the sounds around them.

Jaal has no idea what Scott meant with that last idiom – he will have to ask Chloe about that -, but he understands it’s offensive and crude and his heart hurts. He can see pain and ire and shame on Scott’s face, together with new tears and a too heavy breathing, and he realizes that his hug and his manners weren’t really the cause of all this.

Ryder is coming back to them, almost running. She looks back and forth from Scott to Jaal, asking for an explanation, anything, but both men stay quiet, Scott looking down at the ground, Jaal looking at him, waiting for him to calm down so they can finally talk normally and fix this before it becomes too big and complicated.

He wants them to be friends. He wants Chloe to be happy. He wants Scott to be happy too. He wants him to be part of the family – no, he already is, he has always been. Why is he so scared? Why does he say he did nothing? Why does he feel worthless?

Jaal cannot understand that. Nobody among the angara is considered useless or worthless, not even those who betray their people, like Vehn Terev, who is still tending to flowers and plants on Aya despite selling the Moshae to the Archon.

“What is happening? What’s wrong?” Ryder asks, her panic rising, and Jaal shakes his head.

“I do not know.”

“I… I’m sorry.” Scott murmurs, then he finally exits the room, walking past his sister and ignoring her when she calls to him. The ship is so small and he still doesn’t know it well, so he takes shelter in one of the few rooms he already knows, the crew quarters, and closes the door behind himself.

A heavy silence falls in the Tempest, broken by Lexi’s sigh.

“This is going to take much time.” she says, almost like a warning to everyone present.

“I don’t understand.” Jaal insists, looking at Ryder with big, sad eyes. “It’s like this is because of me, but at the same time it’s not.”

“Maybe it’s both.” Kallo suggests with a shrug. He’s wearing an apron dirty with red sauce and brown spots, while Drack’s is miraculously clean.

“It’s gonna take him more than time to get better.” The krogan clears his throat, glancing at Lexi. “Mine is not a doctor’s opinion, though.”

“You are right.” Lexi concedes gracefully, tapping her thumb against her chin. “He needs time, rest, and cures. I already provided him all he needs, but the rest is up to him and us.”

Ryder lets out a sigh; shoulders slumped, she looks drained of all energies just like her brother and a bit lost. She knew things wouldn’t be easy, but she didn’t think they would be this bad.

Jaal takes her hand and squeezes it, making her smile again, even if for a little while.

“Is it a good idea to let him stay here?” Vetra asks, causing some people, Ryder and Jaal included, to stare at her in disbelief. “I mean…! Here, on an exploration vessel, where things might go wrong any minute! We still have to fight kett and other nasty creatures almost every day and the Nexus and Aya ask a lot from us.”

“He and Ryder have been apart for a year, Vetra!” Suvi exclaims, shaking her head. “Separating them again would only make things worse!”

“Yeah, he needs to feel useful. Active. Alive. Not rot some more in a white room.” Cora agrees, rubbing her neck. Gil, next to her, glances at Jaal and Ryder, who both look like two kicked puppies holding hands, and sighs.

“Guys, come on. He’s gonna get better!”

“It’s just his first day.” Peebee agrees, munching one of the dry cookies she stole from the galley while Drack and Kallo were distracted. Both are glaring at her, but she bravely ignores them. “I’m sure we will see good results in a month or so.”

“For now, let’s give him some space.” Lexi says this while looking at Chloe and Jaal, who gloomily nod. The doctor sighs, rolling her eyes. “And… let’s not discuss this in the corridor, where he can hear everything.”

A hushed chorus of ‘shit’ resonates for a moment, then everyone goes back to do whatever they were doing before being interrupted.

Ryder and Jaal go back to their quarters and they reassure and comfort each other there, kissing and cuddling, finding hope and reassurance in each other’s arms.

Drack and Kallo call everyone for dinner half an hour later and they are glad to see Scott be part of the group, even though his eyes are puffy and red, sign that he cried a lot.

He sits next to Chloe, perfectly silent, and doesn’t even look at Jaal when he sits at his sister’s other side. He cracks a smile when Vetra makes a joke about Drack’s cooking and chuckles softly when Suvi almost chokes on the spicy sauce.

Liam is unusually late; he didn’t even witness the argument in the corridor and he basically scrambles into the room after being called through the comm for the third time.

“Sorry! Sorry! I was busy looking for these!”

He hands Scott too white, plastic thingies. Everyone gasps and looks away, except for Ryder and Jaal, who looks at that curious gift in complete bewilderment.

Scott is rather confused too.

“… Earbuds?”

“Yeah, man! Nights in the Tempest are loud!”

Cora hides her face behind a napkin; Suvi and Peebee make gestures in the background, desperately trying to catch Liam’s attention; Vetra clears her throat and taps her fork against the table, hoping to obtain the same result, but in vain.

Chloe and Jaal share an even more stunned look, speechless, while Scott smiles and says: “Liam, I’m used to loud snoring. Back on the Arcturus Station, there was a colleague of mine who…”

“Oh, I’m not talking about snoring.” Liam wiggles his eyebrows.

“No…?” Scott looks both scared and intrigued, then he realizes what the other man means and he turns three deeper shades of red.

“Oh! You mean you guys… in that tiny room… uh…”

“Ew, no!” Liam laughs, grimacing. “The good stuff happens somewhere else. And believe me, it’s loud. Someone here just lets it all go.”

He nods at Ryder and Jaal with a grin. They aren’t ashamed – they are perfectly aware of how loud they can be in bed -, but they didn’t know the others used such contraptions to avoid hearing them.

They definitely know, though, that Scott is not going to like this.

In fact, another massive frown appears on the young man’s face and he stares down at the white earbuds on his hand with something much similar to disgust, embarrassment, and maybe a bit of amusement all mixed together.

Only then Liam notices the others’ murderous looks. Ryder, in particular, looks about to throw her plate at him and Jaal, who would usually laugh about this in his usual carefree, joyous way, is glaring at him.

“What?” Liam asks, confused. He stares, dumbfounded, as Suvi repeatedly smacks her little fist against her forehead and Gil pinches the bridge of his nose. “What? Does he really need to hear his sister and her boyfriend call each other cute names while going at it?”

A chorus of exasperated, desperate voices rises from the table and Scott’s choked half-snort, half-sob is almost inaudible among the confusion and noise.

I'm not sure how much longer this fic is gonna be - perhaps two more chapters? We will see!

Also I chose the default/Sara look for my Chloe! I only changed the name because "Sara" is my little cousin's name and it would have been pretty weird to hear it in the game.

#mass effect #me:a #jaal ama darav #jaal #rydaal #lafaiette's fic #me:a spoilers

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