#it’s horrifying to watch on tv. i can’t imagine how scary it is irl

[bl00dline]

as a dm fan i sort of wanted to see the rose bowl someday. seems like i won’t get the chance :(

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #193

“i’m stronger than i ever knew; i’m strong because of you.”

What’s one item the dollar store is good for? Candy. What’s the last thing you made out of construction paper? A "cover" for Sara's first V-Day present. What’s the last thing that inspired you? I'm not sure, really. Probably some video. Are you a daredevil? No. What’s one thing you are lazy about? Cleaning. Do you prefer tea to be cold or hot? Tea is a no from me. Do you ever get annoyed by the stupid decisions characters make in books? Not really annoyed, seeing as making mistakes is sometimes a necessity to the plot, but I'm more like, "no one would ever do that irl," especially in the horror genre. What’s one thing that’s annoying you about the book you’re reading now? N/A What’s the most boring thing about your life right now? You would almost assume I'm under house arrest because I can never leave my fucking house. What could make your life more interesting? Being in school, have a job, or have Sara live here. Name someone you know who is truly happy. My nephew. He's only two, but. I have never seen a happier human being. Do you have trouble letting friends go when you need to? It depends. Do you have trouble letting things go? Depends as well. How cluttered is your apartment/house/room? My room's decent, but the majority of the house is kinda messy or just unorganized. Do you have any antique furniture? No. What’s the most you’ve ever spent on a purse? Idk, certainly not much. Where would be the most fun place to do a 24 hour challenge in, do you think? Probably an amusement park. Would be creepy as fuck at night too, and I'd liiive for it. What’s something you’ve been wanting to do but haven’t got around to yet? A lot... like resume studying German. I haven't decided to yet because I question the real usefulness of it; I want to go to Germany, but that may never happen, and I could probably manage just enough with what I know. It may end up just being wasted time and effort. What was the best class trip you have ever been on? 5th grade visit to the zoo. Did you have your own room as a child? No, I shared it with Nicole. Maybe Ashley was with us for a while before being given her own room? Idr. Have you ever shared a room? See above, then with Jason in the old apartment. If so, was having a roommate hard for you? As a young kid, Nicole and I liked sharing a room, but as I especially got older, I really wanted my own. With Jason, no. Do you own a lot of clothes that don’t fit you anymore? Yes, some I hope to shrink back into or are just stored for nostalgia. Where do you donate old clothes? Goodwill and some other place idr. Do you enjoy antique stores? Oh. My. God. Yes. What are five things you inherited from your mom? Somewhat slower metabolism I think, depression, are seasonal allergies genetic?, height, and hair thickness. What are five things you inherited from your dad? PACING, this little short huff-ish laugh thing he does at the end of some sentences, no common sense whatsofuckingever, and enjoying games. Do you enjoy grocery shopping? Noooo. Do you enjoy clothes shopping? Only at stores I like, and if I don't have to try things on. Do you own footie pajamas? Omg nooooo, haven't since I was a kid. They had to be so uncomfortable. Which America’s Got Talent Golden Buzzer performance was your favorite? I haven't seen/remember enough. Do you watch America’s Got Talent? I did religiously until Sharon left. If you were to host a '90s party, which 3 shows would you like to run? That '70s Show, Full House, and The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. What was your favorite thing you collected as a child? Webkinz. I was that one kid who had dozens. Whose house was your first sleepover at? My first best friend, Brianna's. If you had a daughter, would you allow sleepovers? Of course with girls, but I probably wouldn't allow a boy to stay overnight until she was at least 16 due to the risk of her getting pregnant. Which do you like better, your first name or your middle name? My first. What are some ways that pop culture has helped you learn historic or scientific facts? Oh, video games and TV shows definitely have. There must be plenty of other things, but. Blanking. Have you ever had a job in which you felt that you had nothing to do? What was the protocol in that situation (e.g., surfing the web, taking on the job of co-workers, or pretending to work)? If you have not, do you think it would be lucky or unlucky to have such a job? N/A; I wouldn't enjoy an extreme lack of work, but definitely some time to like wander around the Internet and such. Having too little would be super boring, and I'd feel very unproductive. Have you ever intimidated or made another person feel legitimately threatened? If not, do you think that you could ever be seen as scary? I felt horrible when I found out Mom's been legitimately uneased before because of how loudly I can scream at Bentley and/or Teddy when I'm really pissed. I've been working on it since then. In what ways do you or would you need to be validated by a partner? (For example, liking your posts/talking about you on social media, or perhaps by doting on you with gifts.) Above all, I need to be reminded that you love me, that you're not leaving (unless of course there's good reason to), AND THAT MY ILLNESSES AREN'T BECOMING TOO OVERWHELMING. As well, with how I physically am now, I need to know that my weight doesn't bother you. That's all I can think of atm. When you are having a hard time emotionally, what are some of the telltale ways that you act out or that your personality reflects your struggles? I admit I speak before I think and can be very snappy and sarcastic. I become extremely pessimistic and cry easier than I already do. My stability in general is very fragile when I'm struggling. Do you tend to succeed by weaning yourself off of something or by quitting cold turkey? WEANING. I never would've survived dropping soda (for the time I did) if I hadn't weaned down. Well, quitting meat cold turkey during my vegetarian phase was easy, but most things, I'd still say weaning. Is there a specific type of pet breed/size/etc. that you don’t want? Why not? I wouldn't want huge dogs due to so much energy, nor would I want arachnids or insects. Or fish because they bore me so it just feels like a total chore to clean the tank. I wouldn't want most birds due to all the noise. Also not interested in blood pythons, as they're notorious for being aggressive. Have you ever lived in a notoriously dangerous area? If not, would it bother you to do so? Yup. Has a friend’s significant other ever interfered with or damaged your friendship? What about a significant other of yours damaging a friendship? I don't think so for either. What, if anything, is something that you put pressure on yourself about? What do you imagine would happen if you did not live up to this expectation? Achieve complete financial comfort. If I don't, after how I've grown up, I will be borderline (if not seriously) devastated and disappointed in myself. I also put immense pressure, an amount I know is unhealthy, on myself about losing weight, and if I don't achieve that, I don't know what I'd do. I've worked and still work so hard to. If you have been in a serious relationship, have you and your partner ever discussed lifetime plans that clashed? Did you reconcile them or did you break up? If you have not been in a relationship, what are some issues that would be deal-breakers? In the beginning of mine and Jason's relationship, it was casually mentioned I didn't want children while he did, but we didn't worry about that at the time as we had a long time to figure that out. I later decided I wanted kids together, anyway... Would you ever believe I wanted three back then???? If you have favorite names or names picked out for your children, where did you learn of the names or when did you fall in love with them? I can't remember where I heard Alessandra, but I immediately thought it was gorgeous. I fell in love with Damien because of fucking Mayor Damien from Who Killed Markiplier? Yes, I would absolutely name my son after a Markiplier character, fight me about it. What is one item that you have recently been coveting? Do you think that you will actually get it? Why/why not? A new laptop more than anything... and soon. Dad's working on it as a Christmas + birthday present. Do you still have both of your parents? They're alive, but divorced. Do you like being sensually bitten? UGGGHHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS. If you wear eyeliner, what color do you use? Only ever black. How many colors are in your hair right now? One, but with natural highlights and undertones. Do you have your full license yet? No. Working on it. Are you into gory movies? If the gore is a realistic amount. Have you ever been locked in a room forcefully without anyone knowing? No. Do you have the same color eyes as your mother? No. Does your significant other boss you around a lot? No. Have you ever been drunk? If so, do you get drunk regularly? No. Do you consider yourself a loner or a social butterfly? A loner, but I'm sincerely trying to branch out at least some. Have you ever been put to sleep for surgery? Yes. What is your favorite online smiley face to you? I like ;v; but rarely use it because people can't seem to decide if it's an extremely happy and teary face (what I see) or a sad one???? What is something that freaks you out no matter what? OH GOD thought of this because I passed a video of a pregnant sphynx on FB today. I. Cannot. See a fetus moving from the outside of its mother's stomach. It absolutely, thoroughly horrifies me to the point I may scream. It's one of the million reasons, if not the main reason, I never want to be pregnant and why I say pregnancy would likely traumatize me, especially feeling it. Are the lights in your room more dim or bright? I'd say my ceiling lamp is a tad dimmer? Do you take a lot of photos? No. I'd take far more "photography" pictures if I actually had things to and a way to get around... When you were little, did you think band-aids healed everything? Maybe? Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? A completely unrealistic one. I just missed my period one month, I guess out of stress, a change in meds, something like that, and I was panicking that it was a pre-cum pregnancy, even with protection (aka, thin underwear, which sperm can't travel through). I was an anxious mess until my period did come around. Anxiety is fun. Do you have freckles? If so, do you enjoy them or hate them? I don't. Where do you download music from? YouTube. Do you have a laptop, desktop or both? A laptop. If you have a job, do you work with any of your friends? Do you like that job? N/A When did you last look in a mirror? Last time I was in the bathroom. What are you most known for? Probably that I'm very reserved and anxious. What was the last movie you bought for yourself to watch? I don't think I've ever bought a movie myself. If you have any animals, do any of them live in the house with you? They all do. Would you rather have curly or straight hair? Straight. What is one thing you think is gross about the human body? Sweating. Ever make a friendship bracelet for someone? As a kid. Would you say you have extreme morals? "Extreme" seems a bit far, but I have rather strict ones. What have you been made fun of for the most? I've been teased by so many people, family especially, about how I stay on the laptop or am on my phone, and I fucking hate it. Seriously, don't bring it up. I have reasons. Do you watch any television shows from other countries? I don't watch any TV shows currently. Who is your most favorite television/movie villain? Television... probably a character I can't say as their position of being a villain is a massive spoiler of the show. Or Fullmetal Alchemist's Envy, especially in Brotherhood. Movie, Dark Alessa from the first Silent Hill. Have you ever been stabbed by something? A pencil. Maybe other things. Well, do piercings, tattoos, or shots count? How many pillows do you normally sleep with? Two. When you have chocolate, do you eat it room temperature? Or are you like me and stick the bar into the fridge first? I like it room temperature. Chilled doesn't sound all that appealing. What’s the most shocking thing that’s happened in your part of town? Idk, maybe a murder or something? Are there any constellations you recognize just by looking at them? The Little or Big Dipper, idk which is which. Which insect do you find the most beautiful? Butterflies! Do you like gardening? If so, what do you grow? No. Do you enjoy puzzle games? If so, which one’s your favorite? Yeah, probs Sudoku. What is a job you would never in a million years want to do? Teaching, to name just one. What’s the weirdest building in your city? *shrugs* Do you recognize friends’/family’s vehicles by sound? No. Which Disney villain is your favorite? Probably Scar. Or Hades, I loved his character. Which possession would you not want to inherit from a relative? I dunno. Fancy china or some shit I'll never use or break. Is there an ex you think about every day? You know... maybe Jason. Tiny things will trigger quick memories/thoughts about him a lot of days, maybe actually most, I guess as a PTSD thing. He played such a huge part of my life and drastically changed it, so it's hard not to. I don't give him deep thought or anything and they're typically emotionless; just for example, if I heard Motionless In White, my head would immediately connect them to him as his favorite band, then the thought's over. AND I JUST WANNA SHARE BECAUSE I'M PROUD AS FUCK that today was our anniversary date, and this is the first year I feel zero pain or attachment to it. Would you ever go back to any of your past relationships? No. What's the worst thing you have ever said to anyone? Probably some evil shit I said in that letter to Dad. Who was the last person to text you before you went to bed last night? Sara. When was the last time you had a conversation with an ex? I talked briefly with Girt a few days back. Is there a guy who knows everything or almost everything about you? Jason did. Who was the last person to annoy you? My stepmother with the stupid political shit she shares on Facebook. I love her a whole lot, but oh my god. I regret even adding her. Do you have any text messages that you don’t want other people to read? I wouldn't be mortified or anything, but there's some I want private nevertheless. Which room in your house tends to be the coldest in the winter time? The laundry room, the first room of the house from the backdoor. There's no AC in there, and because there's a draft with the door, it gets cooooold. What is something that you fear will happen to you in the future? (Also Why) I won't be financially stable. That's all I've known so far, and the stress of it is unbelievable. What criminal (dead or alive) would you like to sit down and talk to and why? None. What is the most interesting documentary have you watched? Meerkat Manor. :') Where is your brother? In Tennessee. Last person you cussed at? At? Not in the presence of? Uh, I think I playfully called a friend/family member a bitch at some point? When did a parent last tell you, you couldn’t do something you wanted to? I was craving a Sonic shake a couple days ago, but Mom didn't wanna drive out that far with low gas. Last time you took a picture? A few days back. Our camellia bush is blooming now, and some of the flowers are falling, and I visualized a beautiful shot looking down at one, but no matter what I did, the damn camera wouldn't focus just enough. This is such a frequent problem that I think something may be wrong with the lens. I cannot wait for new ones. Next time you will see the last person that made you cry? Who was it? Myself, so, lol. Next person that will call you? Likely my dad about our laptop hunt. Last person that was at your house besides family? A delivery guy. How many friends do you have? I don't know who are really my old friends, friends, and true friends nowadays. Few. When were you born? 11:20 or 11:30 A.M., I forget. Who are you closest to in your family? Mom. What program on your computer do you use the most? Chrome. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? Not unless I was in some sort of freak accident. What is your favorite breed of dog? Akita inus or Saint Bernards. Are you a fan of anime? Yeah. What is your favorite kind of cookie? Soft chocolate chunks. Ahhh. Where is your favorite city? I don't have one. Do you get bored easily? Very. What grosses you out the most? The most? Oh man, idk. Probably seeing bones clearly broken and at gnarly angles, or strange bodily shit like botflies being pulled out (I physically refuse to watch things like that), and giant pimple/cyst popping is fucking disgusting. I do NOT understand how some find it satisfying. Or, as mentioned earlier, seeing fetuses move from the outside. Have you ever been to the circus? In elementary school. I don't remember it. What’s the longest word you know? Uhhh, "brobdingnagian?" Do you use teeth whitener? No, but God knows I want to. Do you think war is an acceptable way of solving problems? NO. NO. NO. NO. Were you a bad child when you were younger? No. What is your favorite type of exercise? Swimming. Do you live near any volcanoes? No. Name one word that you always have trouble pronouncing. Almost everyone points out how I put a "d" in "breakfast" after the "k." I have to consciously think in order to not. Tell me something about yourself that you don’t normally tell people. The fact I enjoy RP. Do you have any songs that seem to fit your life perfectly? Perfectly, idk. Have you ever tried “planking”? Oh wow, I forgot about that fad. The exercise form of planking, yes. Do you trust yourself with big responsibilities? Usually not. What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream? So there's this local dessert place I go to exclusively for their ice cream called "campfire delight" that surpasses any ice cream I've ever had. Out of basic flavors, vanilla. How many people have you truly fallen IN love with? Two. Where was your mom born? Somewhere in New York. Have you ever seen your siblings naked? Well duh as kids. As teens/adults, I think I've seen Ashley like once. Now Nicole, she has no shame and used to walk without a care into the living room to grab clean clothes lmao, and she never cared if I needed to come into the bathroom for whatever if she was in there after she got out of the shower. What can always make you feel better no matter what? Show me that video of Mark witnessing for the first time that "nasa peepo" shit lmao. I will at LEAST smile. What did you last order from a restaurant? A double cheeseburger and fries. And what restaurant was that from? McDonald's. Did you ever really believe in the tooth fairy? Yes. Would you ever get your legs waxed? Likely not. Are you listening to music right now? "Roots" by In This Moment. When was the last time somebody hit on you? lul Sara yesterday, I think. Was the last person you met a male or female? Uhhh who was the last person I met. I really don't know. Which one of your friends do you feel most comfortable around? Sara. Do you own a map of the world? No. Who did you last spoon with? Sara. Does your family eat dinner together? No. When eating string cheese, do you dive right in or just peel it? I don't like string cheese. How do you get rid of your hiccups? Nothing works for me. Do you know how to take screen shots on your computer? Yeah. Do you have a blister anywhere on your body? No. Do you remember what your last fortune cookie said? No, but I think I recall thinking it was stupid. Do you like Chinese food, Mexican food, or American food better? American. What do you think of off-brand soda? Doesn't bother me. Do you like hot, cold, or lukewarm showers? Usually hot. Do you grit your teeth a lot? No. Do you like to swing? Ye. How about jumping on a trampoline? Haven't done that in years, and it would probably wreck my knees. Do you have long arm hair? No. Is your hair healthy? Very. How often do you wash your hair? I have to every time I shower unless I want it greasy, so every other day or sometimes one more. Do you love Family Guy, or hate it? It doesn't bother me. Do you like kids? I don't hate them, but being around them long enough tests me. How often do you like to have sex? Sara and I aren't at that point yet, so I can't really say. If I'm still the same, Jason and I did so every few days, and if I didn't see him in like, almost a week, I'd definitely want it. Do you throw shit under your bed? No. Do you like Dairy Queen? Sure. Have you ever actually drank warm milk? Ew, no. Do you prefer to have milk when you eat cakes/cookies? Every once in a while for cookies. What is your preferred brand of chocolate? Ohhhhhh I can't remember its name. It's one of the "fancier" kinds. Do you like white chocolate? No, too sweet. Are there any movies/shows you’ve seen so many times you’re sick of them? I don't think so. What about songs you’ve heard so many times you hate them? Not hate. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah, as a kid, and here in the South, there's also this tasty treat called snow cream that you make with fresh snow. Are there any metals that turn your skin green? Silver. Do you know anybody who gets feminism confused with misandry? BOY DO I Do you talk to your pets? Seriously curious, does anyone not? When you do, is your tone different from when you talk to humans? Usually. Do you like using terms of endearment? Yes. Describe yourself with 3 fictional characters. Okay so I'mma actually think here... HA FIRST I am the Actual Eric Derekson, Max Caulfield (tho I give myself just enough credit that I am not that cringey), and Katniss Everdeen, if I remember her well enough (and I only read the first book/saw the first movie). Are there any numbers you dislike for any reason? No. Do you own/wear any jumpsuits? No. Have you ever adopted a stray? (Cat or dog) Cats, plenty. What’s a movie you think more people should see? Idk. Do you read about any mythology? (Greek, Roman, Norse, Egyptian, etc) Haven't since high school, but I'm very interested in it. If you do, do you have any favorite gods/goddesses? Maybe Artemis. Do you think it’s prettier when the moon is full, or a crescent? Full. Have you ever been to a planetarium? Does the Kennedy Space Center qualify? Have you grown to dislike your first email address? Lol, I'll admit it's embarrassing when I have to give it out. Have you ever gotten angry at an employee and complained to the manager? No. What songs bring back happy memories for you? "Closer" by The Chainsmokers, "Leavin'" by Jesse McCartney, "Pretty Woman" by Van Halen, "All Time Low" by Jon Bellion, "Caroline" by Aminé, "I'm Not A Vampire" by Falling In Reverse, a few Billy Joel songs, a lot of old Train songs, "Let Me Hear You Scream" by Ozzy... a lot. Are there any smells that bring back happy memories? Probably? Oh, pancakes and sausage or bacon cooking, for one. I just remember the occasional times as a kid Mom would make breakfast.