#it’s cemented into her being that she is
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Overanalyzing this scene:
1. Vi is speechless. Cait is being playful. Cait is teasing her. Also, she’s basically saying, “I sent my guards away so we can be alone.”
2. Vi gets the message. Months of yearning finally come to the surface. Vi initiates, and Cait is receptive. The yearning could not be more mutual.
3. Cait goes to grab that ass, but something stops her. Maybe she’s not sure how far Vi wants to take this. Or maybe she was just trying to embrace Vi, and the editors pulled a little sneaky on us. Regardless, Cait closes the distance between their bodies. She wants to feel Vi against her.
4. Vi knows what she wants. She wants Cait. She wants to taste her sweet Cupcake.
5. Vi goes for the neck. Cait is responsive. She likes how it feels.
6. Another kiss, but Cait pauses. She doesn’t want any more secrets between them. She tells Vi about Maddie.
7. Vi gives Cait the honest truth. She doesn’t fucking care. She wants Cait, and nothing will change that.
8. Up until this point, Cait has been holding back because of Maddie. Now that that’s been cleared up, she matches Vi’s intensity. Look at her hand sliding up to Vi’s face, mirroring Vi’s hand on her face. She wants Vi just as badly as Vi wants her.
9. They’re moving. It’s getting heated. Vi goes up on her toes so she can bury her face in Cait’s shoulder, then goes for that ass. Cait starts pulling her shirt up. Cait is eager to get to the point, and Vi just wants to feel her.
10. Vi’s fantasies are starting to become a reality. Look at her face. She never thought this day would come, and now it’s happening. Now look at Cait’s face. Look at her eyes. She’s happy. Look at the way she casually blows the hair out of her face.
11. Vi is understandably nervous, but look at Cait’s hands. She’s being so gentle with Vi. Plus, you know that shot of Vi’s tattooed back was meant to mirror a similar shot from S1E4.
12. Cait likes what she sees. She goes to touch Vi’s wound. She’s gentle.
13. Vi recognizes that Cait is trying to be gentle, but she doesn’t mind getting rough. She pulls Cait back in and kisses her. Cait kisses back. This is happening.
14. Cait finally gets to second base, and look at her left arm. Look at the way she embraces Vi. Then Vi makes it clear that, although they are equals, she’s the top, at least this time.
15. Vi goes for the pants but fumbles slightly, and Cait not only smiles, but giggles. They both giggle. They’re so happy.
16. They may be vertical, but this shot basically cements that Vi is the primary top in their relationship.
17. The neck kisses. The way Cait is starting to cling to Vi. Cait doesn’t just want this anymore, she needs it, and the feeling is mutual.
18. Vi starts moving south. She can probably feel Cait’s heart pounding. Hers is probably pounding too. Look at Cait’s face. She’s already lost herself in the moment. Look at the way Vi looks up at her, watching for her reaction, ready to stop if Cait gets uncomfortable.
19. Vi finally gets to taste exactly how sweet her Cupcake is, and Cait finally gets to experience an orgasm that brings her joy.
ARCANE LEAGUE OF LESBIANS: 2x08 - “Killing is a Cycle”
#arcane netflix#vi arcane#caitlyn arcane#caitlyn x vi#caitvi#violyn#overanalyzing#arcane season 2#they’re so cute#they’re in love your honor#they’re girlfriends
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ave, general
❝The Eagle of Rome has returned to you at last.❞
historical! au | fluff, smut, crack | 16.1k words
s u m m a r y : after your husband returns from the wars in foreign lands, you could not be more proud to see him be the shining pride of rome. however, even among the celebrations and your own personal news, lee jihoon only wanted one thing—some time alone with you.
c o n t e n t s : roman! au, roman general! jihoon, husband! jihoon, father! jihoon, mother! mc, a lot of historical background and roman terms to add historical accuracy, soldiers! bss + wonwoo and chan, this is bss and friends, all of them are so annoying it's a wonder they aren't executed, seungcheol is, in a literal sense, a baby, this is a bullying chan campaign, the soldiers do NOT know how to talk to a baby, domesticity <333 mature content ↠ mentions of loss of loved ones, descriptions of war and death, dirty talk, petnames (my love, my sweet, darling, mea vita), fingering, oral sex (f. receiving), slight exhibitionism, unprotected sex (roman contraceptives are dookie), multiple orgasming, slight aftercare
t a g l i s t : @hyuckworld @gyuswhore @lexyraeworld @moonlightwonu @spooky-goose1003 @dvalitaes @cookiearmy @lllucere @syluslittlecrows @mrsjohnnysuh @fancypeacepersona @thepoopdokyeomtouched @monstacheol @xabsolutelynothingx @kyeomiis @icecream-sundaes @peachytokki @jihanniecheol @ourkivee
a u t h o r ' s n o t e : she is here!! i promised myself i would release this once i've watched gladiator II and she is back...changed woman...i guess this is a belated bday present to jihoon? thank u for inventing music king </3 enjoy reading loves !!
back to masterlist
“WHERE IN JUPITER IS HE?”
The maid whined as she focused on the crowd once more—thousands of citizens gathered across in the Capitol, the road cleared for the procession about to occur. Giddy conversations of every man, woman and child flourished for a mile, and you had to hold onto the girl accompanying you to not be trodden over.
“Careful, mistress!” Myrtia, your servant, warned as you dared take a step at the edge of the hill. “They will be here any minute now!”
You did not listen, holding onto your heavy shawl tighter as you waited in earnest of what was to happen. Rome was a city of chaos, but you did not hear the noise—despite the crowds, the instruments, the chanting, every single voice seemed irrelevant as you stood over the Capitolium. The little houses underneath you swirled around the hill, all evolving the temple behind you, the destination of the people about to be welcomed. Columned buildings made of stone and marble surrounded the crowds, speckled with garlands, its bright colours of vermillion shining in the summer sun.
A small sigh left your lips. Today was the day he would come back home to you.
“By the gods!” Myrtia let out an excited screech, grabbing onto your arm and pointing towards the empty street, barricaded by the people. “They’re here, they’re here!”
Following her finger, you stared at the scene.
That was when the parade entered.
Screams of elation spanned across the crowd as thousands of soldiers flooded in tight ranks, accepting the cheers with pride as they marched along, prisoners of war being dragged along by their chains. There must have been hundreds, spanning back beyond your vision, dirtied and haggard, but that was the consequence of challenging the Empire. The soldiers all adorned their red and silver uniform, smiling at the city which welcomed them.
Your eyes scanned the front of the parade, lips curving at the five men on decorated horseback. Each and every one of them had their distinguishable responses towards the people who sang praises to them, and you longed to see them ride up to the Hill where you could greet them.
When your gaze hovered to what rode in front of the men, it widened.
Four horses, adorned in the finest metals and blood-coloured clothing, led the chariot of the same colour, fully festooned in laurels. Gold swirls cemented on its front, making itself heard with its screeching wheels.
It was not the chariot you cared about.
No, it was the man who stood in it.
The man who was clothed in royal purple and gold, holding a laurel branch in one hand and a sceptre in the other. The man, whose wild black hair perfectly settled the golden crown that another beside him held. The man, whose ghost of a smile sent the crowd in absolute frenzy, beginning up a chant to his name.
“Hurrah for the Triumph!”
“Hurrah for the Triumph!”
“Hurrah for the Eagle!”
Your heart stopped to a standstill.
At last. At long last, the Eagle of Rome had come back to its nest.
“Mistress, look!” Myrtia exclaimed, pointing towards the star of the show, the lead victor in this parade. “Your husband achieved the Triumph!”
You glanced at her with unadulterated pride before focusing on the man in front, coming closer in your vision as he began the ride up the hill. The Triumph. A public celebration of a certain general who managed to lead Rome to a special, foreign victory. It meant the destruction of the enemy, complete desolation, which a mere centurion could not simply achieve. To receive the Triumph was to be respected by the highest of the Roman officials.
You smiled at the notion. The destination for the parade was the Temple of Jupiter behind you, its columns holding up the huge, faded roof, towering over the few beloved relatives of the generals that led the soldiers. “I never doubted he would.”
The crowds grew wilder as the generals journeyed closer, halfway up the rocky hill—everyone opened their doors, leaving their houses to witness the rare spectacle. “Do you think they would let us speak to them?” your maid wondered out loud, following your steps as you turned your back, walking to the Temple. Standing right beside the steps, upstaged till they reached your height. “Gods, I forgot how big the temple is sometimes!”
“Wait here,” you said, holding onto the polished stone as you climbed up the steps. The thundering sounds of hooves on cobblestone entered your ears, and the few other relatives which accompanied you silenced, joy in their faces as the parade ascended. You turned before the show, the entire building shading you with its presence.
There he was.
With his four white horses slowing, neighing wildly at the company that arrived at the hill. With his red and golden chariot inciting excited Latin from the crowd, there he was, swiping past in front of his friends. The horses finally stopped, just before the steps, and the generals behind him followed suit, halting their own as they waited for their commander.
Their commander let go of the reins—stepped down from the chariot, purple robe flowing after the steps. The head that wore the crown turned to the Temple, laurel and sceptre still in his hands.
His calculating eyes skimmed the crowd, face exposing a little pride at the turnout.
He then faced his destination—right on you his stare settled, standing alone at the entrance.
You swore you saw his entire body still.
You were not wrong. The commander parted his mouth, eyes widening with who welcomed him past the steps. Gods, he nearly dropped the possessions in his hands, staring and staring at the woman.
No, not just a mere woman.
But you, his wife.
One of the generals, instantly noticing their leader’s change, got off his horse, same black hair glinting in the sun. He walked over, taking the objects from his hands, smiling knowingly.
When the leader’s hands were free of the spoils, he willed his feet across the sanded street, first step atop the stairs. His gaze never wavered, unable to stray from the woman who haunted his nights.
You, however, could not wait at all.
A choked sob escaped you as your own feet dashed forward, barely able to control themselves as you ran to him. His arms began to raise as you collided against him, wrapping your hands around his neck and crying into his purple-clad chest.
“Missed you...Jihoon…” your muffled murmurs slipped into his attire. “Missed you...so much.”
You felt strong arms envelop you, a rough-hewn face burying into your shoulder. “I thought of you everyday, mea vita.”
Mea vita. My life. A smile caught onto your tears as you hugged him tighter. “And I thought of you every night.”
He returned it, feeling his lips curve upon your skin. Placing a small kiss, he pulled away slightly, only to take your face with one of his hands and lean in closer. Enveloping your lips with yours, he kissed you with the longing of a thousand lost souls, finally returned to their other half.
A soft groan threatened to leave your captured mouth, but then you felt your husband pull away, hands upon your waist. “I must stop here, my love, or I would not be able to stop afterwards.”
Cheeks burning, you did not let go of him. “Are you not finished?”
Shaking his head, he looked beyond you, to inside of the Temple. “I have to pay respects. It is the final part of the ceremony.” He turned to you again, aching to take you before the sacred grounds. “I cannot have you waiting for me that long.”
You were to object until the raven-haired boy behind him spoke up, waving his hand about. “We can escort her home, Jihoon,” he suggested, patting his general on the shoulder. “We do not need to go inside.”
“Are you sure, Wonwoo?” your husband asked, looking towards the other four.
One of the centurions, with straight, cropped black locks framing his face, grinned smugly, holding onto his reins. “Oh, just let her leave with us!” he exclaimed. “We all know she missed us more than your stone-cold arse!”
You chuckled as Jihoon knifed the man with a glare. “A few hours in Rome, and Soonyoung is already a pain in my backside.”
The younger centurion beside Soonyoung scoffed, brown locks being caressed by the wind. “As if he is not a bother for us all.”
Soonyoung mocked a gasp. “Seungkwan!”
“Everyone, quiet down!” Another man declared, eyes closed and head raised in pride. “We all know our Captain’s wife wishes to ride with me.”
Soonyoung began to chortle at the claim. “_____, you might as well walk home than take Seokmin’s offer,” he mused, earning a near-death experience with a dagger thrown at him.
Raising a brow at the bickering group, you raised a finger. “You know what? I think I shall ride with Chan.”
The said-boy perked up, eyes widening. “Me?” He asked, dumbfounded. “Well, of course, I just—”
“He would fall asleep mid-journey!” Seungkwan complained, crossing his arms. “It is already past his bedtime!”
“Hey!” Chan chimed in, but it did not help that he looked away, trying to stifle a yawn. Seungkwan pointed and laughed, proving his stupid point.
“Enough!” Jihoon shouted, silencing them all instantly. “If _____ says she wants to go with Chan, then that is final.”
All of them began to complain, but one warning glare from their commander had them quieting like scolded children. Chan, being the one chosen, began to smile in innocent satisfaction, earning the evil wrath of Seokmin and Seungkwan. Soonyoung merely shrugged, whereas Wonwoo put a hand on his chest, heartily agreeing with his commander.
You glanced at the man in charge, looking as ever the victor in his royal robes. “Come home soon.”
Stealing another kiss from you, he squeezed your sides in comfort, smiling in reassurance. “I already am home, vita.”
THE LEGACY COMMANDERS ALWAYS KNEW HOW TO MAKE THE MOST NOISE.
Throughout the half-hour journey, the five men talked of their lives for the near-two years they were away—the battles they had won, and the siege they had laid over Alexandria, where Mark Antony and Cleopatra were finally defeated.
Chan glanced back every five minutes to check you were stable on horseback, urging you to hold tight whenever a rockier road was being taken. You patted him softly where you rested your hands upon him, showing him you were well. “Do not fret over me, dearest,” you assured him, earning an uneasy chuckle from him.
Unfortunately, the few centurions, riding right beside you two, heard your reassurance, and instantly resorted to striking fear. “Hanging onto Chan for dear life will not help you!” Seungkwan remarked loudly. “One wrong bounce of the horse and he is flying off!”
The youngest of the men, on instinct, tightened his hold on the horse, now fearing he would drive his commander’s wife to her death. Soonyoung laughed at the scene, but set his sights on the next youngest down. “Seungkwan should not be talking,” he crowed, galloping further ahead. “Pray tell us, how much denarii did you borrow off Wonwoo to heal your broken leg? You know, after you tripped over a tent rope?”
“Careful, Soon,” Seokmin exclaimed over the horses’ hooves. “Or Seungkwan will not hesitate to call up all the escorts you went bankrupt over in Egypt!”
Soonyoung immediately whirled his head to you, who eyed him incredulously. “_____, it is an exaggeration!” he deflected. “It was only one visit, merely to see what the women were like—!”
“Is it true, Wonwoo?” you asked, who was fighting back a grimace at his friend’s endeavours. “Is our dear centurion as scandalous as he’s accused to be?”
The answer was swift. “Soonyoung’s cock is as clean as the city sewers.”
As everyone cackled, the guilty flushing with embarrassment, he quickly switched the conversation to everyone’s adventures while on the road to Alexandria. Soonyoung did most of the storytelling, with Seokmin chipping in with great pride—Seungkwan had to tell the two of them off when they exaggerated their military prowess, while Wonwoo only laughed, narrating the truth of their adventures. Whatever they told you, though, you knew that they came out victorious.
The Legacy Legion was destined for greatness—especially if Jihoon Park commanded it.
By the time they were done, you had arrived at your villa, almost on the outskirts of Rome. The huge estate had been gifted to your husband by his superior, Octavian, who was thankful for the continuous loyalty he had seen from the Legion. Its exterior towered over the five horses, guards opening the gates to let you and your friends inside.
The estate was basked in whites and greys, roof the colour of baked bricks adding vibrancy to the faded walls. When entering, you were met with your bustling courtyard, servants hard at work with preparations for Jihoon's return. Within the four walls were different rooms which served different purposes—you could smell the different breads and meat being cooked on a slow heat, taking their time to be fully made. The boys began to salivate at the aroma, and when you felt Chan’s stomach grumble beneath your fingers you reined in a laugh, waiting for him to heave off before helping you down as well.
“Take the horses to the stables,” you ordered one of the servants walking past you, who nodded, shouting for other men to come and help him.
Seokmin groaned as he sniffed the air again, holding his armour-clad stomach. “I cannot take this any longer!” He whined, stomping to where the smell took him. “____, I must have cena now or so help me Ceres!”
“Stop complaining about lunch!” Seungkwan crowed. “I gave you half of my breakfast, and you pinched Chan’s bread too!”
“Here we go again,” Wonwoo mumbled. He then heard grumbling in his abdomen, and knew he could not argue against his body.
You watched the absolute creatures in tenderness, and waved them all over. “Come,” you began, walking inside the first door. “I wish to show you something.”
“This better be some roasted boar!” Soonyoung grumbled, earning a jab in the arm from Wonwoo.
The destination was not far, and with one further turn, you ended up in a smaller, yet spacious room, golden sunlight streaming through the windows. You ushered the boys in, taking up the entire space, and they were all about to complain when you showed them.
Every single man in the room melted at the sight.
“By the gods!”
“Tell me it is not an illusion!”
“This is a better sight than roasted boar!”
Laughing, you put a hand to your lips. “Not so loud now! Jihoon is not aware of this yet, and I wish to tell him myself.”
“Of course!” Wonwoo agreed, eyes dancing. “By Jupiter, he would be overjoyed!”
“I hope so,” you voiced out your wishes, glancing at the surprise.
The boys were about to say more when they heard the distant sounds of thundering hooves near the villa, and everyone stilled.
“Quick!”
“Everyone get out of here!”
“Seungkwan, move your fat arse—”
The five greatest centurions of Rome scrambled to get out of the tiny bedroom, rushing into the courtyard where Jihoon now made his entrance, crown still upon his head. He saw the rather guilty exit of his men, and raised a brow at their strange behaviour.
“What are you all—” he was about to ask, but then the boys dashed towards him, each grabbing his arm and pushing him to their last destination. “Wait, hold on—!”
“This is of extreme importance, we assure you!” Wonwoo simpered, knowing his end was near with the behaviour he and his friends upkept.
“Even more important than lunch!” Soonyoung added.
“Even more important than roast boar!” Seokmin chimed in.
Jihoon was about to throw them off when they pushed him into the small room, waving excitedly at you. “We will be looking for food!” Seungkwan called from the door, and Chan looked at you apologetically before following after his friends.
Watching them busy themselves, he turned to you, cocking his head. “What was all that for?”
“They are terrible actors, but they had good intentions.” You then bit your lip, glancing beside you. “Actually, they brought you here for a reason.”
“Oh?” He took a step forward.
Nodding your head, you put your hand upon the stone. “Jihoon, while you were gone, I had a life-changing experience.”
Furrowing his brows, he put his hands on his hips. “And that was?”
Exposing a little smile, you ushered him closer, gazing down at the said-experience.
“My love, I gave birth to our son.”
You felt Jihoon’s world still for a moment.
Within seconds after, he closed the distance to the cot, following your gaze.
There, wrapped in blankets, lay a small baby, lost in sleep.
The general did not know what to say.
He could only watch the little bundle of life as he dreamed of things which he could not understand, tiny lips brushing against his tiny thumb. The man’s heart began to race at the sight of his closed eyes, the flutter of his lashes as he stirred in slumber.
So innocent the baby was—so vulnerable that he wondered whether people of his time even knew what innocence meant.
He thought all good had withered from the world till his eyes beheld this child. His son.
“It was he that helped me cope with your absence Jihoon,” you continued, and you did not know why it began to hurt to talk. “You see, the boy looks so much like you.”
Your husband’s eyes flickered to you, catching the melancholy in your stare. He knew—of course he knew how you felt about him hardly being here.
You could not blame him, though. With a position of such esteem came great responsibility, which he would risk his life to fulfil. It was his honour, his undeterred loyalty in what he believed in, that made you fall so deeply in love with him. Still, you admitted that life was barely liveable without his magnetic presence near you.
He propped his hands on the edge of the cot. “May I...may I hold him?”
“Of course,” you replied, slowly pulling the boy in your arms, cooing softly so he stayed asleep. When you were sure he was peaceful, you held him out to your husband, who took a deep, shuddering breath.
With shaking hands, he raised them towards his son, feeling the soft cotton of his blanket beneath his fingertips. Staring at Jihoon, you made sure that he would not let go—satisfied, you gave him the stirring bundle.
Another hard sigh escaped him.
The child, on instinct, nuzzled further into his hold, right into his chest, and he knew his answer straight away. His heart fluttered nervously, holding his breath to not wake him. It was so bizarre that his nerves heightened with every second, fearing he would let go—his sword was heavier than this child, yet his hold on him was shaky, uncertain.
He wondered if he could ever get used to this feeling.
There were sensations he had experienced which brought him immense joy. His victories, his commandeering of the Roman legions, the subsequent victories that were guaranteed under his leadership. His centurions, who, despite their incessant complaining, shouting, general presences, were the catalyst to his success. You, who was behind the man that he was, and became—the reason he breathed.
A small murmur escaped the little boy, and all the love Jihoon had lost these years had come back.
He was never the one to expose such extreme emotions, but gazing at the baby brought him such…peace. In truth, he had not felt peace in a long, long time, yet the feeling washed over him, like small waves upon the shores of a beach. Each twitch of his fingers, every kick of his feet brought his soul to a standstill, then revived it once more.
He contributed to this creation. He was half the reason for the slumbering life in his hands.
His stare did not leave his son. “What did you name him, vita?”
Your gaze was rooted to him as you answered.
“Seungcheol.”
Jihoon’s rocking froze.
His eyes darted towards you, and the pure shock which emitted had your heart breaking. His mouth parted, only for silence to welcome his tongue.
It was now your hands which held onto the cot.
You see, Seungcheol was not some ordinary name you thought up on the hour of the birth.
No, this name was originally held by the previous leader of the Legacy Legion.
Most importantly, the name was held by yours and Jihoon’s dearest friend.
Choi Seungcheol was a sweet, charismatic boy who had grown up in the same neighbourhood as you and Jihoon. He was the nail in your house of the trio, and the mastermind of the romance which weaved between the two of you.
He had an incredibly bright future ahead of him. Under Octavian’s army he had achieved the title of primus pilus—the leadership of an entire legion—with all of the boys, including Jihoon, under his command. He was an advocate of justice, and had risked his friends many times for defending the rights of Rome and her citizens against tyrants.
It was these very tyrants that brought about his downfall.
Jihoon was never meant to leave your side these past two years. He was meant to stay in Rome under Octavian, but the rivalry against Mark Antony had crossed lines, and war was about to be waged. Seungcheol, forever the hero, vowed his undeterred loyalty to the former, and promised to shed Mark Antony’s blood.
That very night, the commanders of the Legacy Legion were celebrating the war when a group of assassins launched an ambush—the five of them managed to cut out and leave, but Jihoon was on the verge of death fighting. Your husband was to die that night.
That was when Seungcheol made a sacrifice.
He hollered at the assassins to fight him, giving Jihoon the chance to escape. Your husband begged him to run, but he knew his friend would not listen.
When Jihoon saw the dozen daggers slash into Seungcheol’s chest, he could not let the sacrifice go to waste.
It was this act that brought him the rage to accept command of the Legacy Legion. It was this dire need of vengeance that helped him cope with the months of stalemates across Egypt, when he thought Mark Antony was to escape.
It was Choi Seungcheol’s sacrifice that made Lee Jihoon the Eagle of Rome.
Thinking of this particular past had your vision stinging.
Jihoon scoffed, stroking his baby’s brow. “Imagine how smug he would be now,” he mused, “If he knew we named our son after him.”
The thought had you rasping out a laugh. “Gods, we would never hear the end of it.”
He cracked a smile, gaze never straying from his bundle. He grew silent once again, clamping his lips together. Scared to wake him if he rocked him further, Jihoon settled the boy back into the pillowed cot, blinking back the stinging in his eyes.
He turned to you, and seeing his change of expression had you stepping closer. “Darling?” you got out, your hands raising to touch his face. “What troubles you?”
Shaking his head, he wrapped his fingers around your wrist. Leaning into your palm, he replied, “Nothing troubles me, vita.”
Then, he pressed a small kiss upon your skin. “I have no more troubles now that I have seen him…and I have him because of you.”
His gaze settled upon you, eyes glossed with teary gratitude. “Thank you, my love, for bringing me peace.”
The words nearly made you cry.
Jihoon did not let you, though, when, with his other hand sliding around your waist, he pulled you to him. He enveloped his lips with yours, and with a whine you accepted him, closing your eyes. The kiss you shared was achingly soft, seething with months upon months of longing—he turned your head slightly, and his lips delved deeper, taking you fully with the strength of a waking beast.
His hands dug deeper into your sides, feeling the desperation seep into his lips as he slowly pushed you back, your arms closing about his neck, needing him all over you. Sliding your hands within his locks, you revelled in its velvety softness, knowing you could live forever in him.
The action had your husband humming into your mouth, a perfect incentive as he backed you against the wall, pressing himself fully against you, extinguishing any last atom of space between you two. You could not get enough of him, trying to make up months of his absence in this kiss alone, but you wanted more, needed more, or you would collapse in his arms.
It was fortunate for you that he understood you perfectly.
However, your dear friends did not understand at all, bursting into the nursery in utmost hurry.
Five pairs of eyes rooted to the passionate scene before them.
Chan let out a shrill scream.
You and Jihoon repelled from each other, breathless gasps emitting as both of you whirled your heads to the door. The five centurions gathered at the doorway, stunned at the show that went on before they interrupted.
Seokmin let out a groan, clutching his stomach. “I regret eating that entire boar now,” he rasped out, turning away from the panting couple. Seungkwan elbowed him harshly in the gut, making the former double over.
Soonyoung sauntered in, stepping past you two in mighty fashion. “You both are insufferable!” he yelled, bringing out baby Seungcheol and rocking him in his arms. “Carrying out such atrocities with a child nearby?”
“I apologise for the disturbance, general,” Wonwoo said, glaring at the man who now cooed comically at the baby. “We were just...um, we were to ask ____ of the plans tonight.”
“But y-you seem to be very preoccupied!” Chan added, pulling the men near him away from the door. “So we shall not disturb you again!”
“You should have thought about that before,” your husband hissed. “And what do you mean by plans?”
“For your return,” you answered, smiling a little as you regained your composure. “It has been too long since you stepped foot at home. Of course I am to celebrate.”
“And do we not exist to you?” Seungkwan demanded, armoured hands at his hips. “You include Jihoon only as if we were here in Rome partying this entire time!”
“I wished that were the case,” Soonyoung drawled, stepping beside you, swaying the baby the entire time. “I would rather the company of wine than you foul-smelling bastards anyday.”
Seokmin, recovering, scoffed, pointing a finger at his fellow centurion. “Oh, do let us know then, Soonyoung, who was calling us his dearest friends on the march to Alexandria?”
“That does not count!” he countered, waving off the claims. “I was beyond gone from wine, and everyone spews rubbish when drunk.”
“You spew rubbish anyway,” Wonwoo muttered.
“You are lucky I am holding Jihoon’s child right now, or I would have knocked you out.”
“Just Jihoon’s child?” you crossed your arms. “And what if you were holding someone else’s baby?”
There was a pause at that. “I shall not comment further.”
“Enough!” the general ordered, silencing the bickering group. “Out, the lot of you! Go back to your own homes and leave us alone!”
“But _____ said we can stay here and help with preparations!” Wonwoo voiced out, stepping forward in haste.
“I never said that!”
“Please, Jihoon,” he continued anyway, “I have no wish to dump all responsibility on her.”
The said-man pursed his lips in thought, clearly in no hurry to keep his friends when he could be using this precious time to continue what he left off with you. Already his hands ached to linger further over your body, but if he was disturbed once again, then he would kill his subordinates without hesitance.
Seokmin stopped his train of thought. “Personally, I have no wish to do housework,” he jeered.
Your husband then smiled, which was more a flash of teeth. “Brilliant. You can piss off back home, then.” He then directed his threatening stare towards the others. “All of you.”
Five pairs of eyes turned to you, hoping for your objection on the matter. However, you only shrugged, holding out your hands to the man beside you. “General’s orders, I fear.” When a series of groans followed at your verdict, you took Seungcheol from Soonyoung’s hands. “Do not whine like that, friends! I am giving you the chance to have more fun before tonight’s celebrations!”
“Whatever,” Seungkwan grumbled, turning his cloak as he stepped out of the room. “I am off to get more drinks! Anyone but Jihoon may join me.”
“Hey!” the commander shouted, but the men were already leaving, save for Chan, scratching the back of his head.
Seokmin cocked his head in question at his friend’s stillness. “What are you standing here for, fool?”
“Well, um,” Chan started, his shy gaze levelling with yours. “I am not inclined to wine as of now, so I was hoping if I could...err, linger here and help around…” His eyes widened, raising his hands. “But if it is bothersome I will accompany the others!”
Your heart melted at his timidity. “What are you so nervous for? Of course you can stay. Those four idiots will only be causing trouble the entire afternoon.”
“And we intend to continue such troubles at night as well!” Soonyoung declared, almost skipping to the entrance. “Honey wine, here I come!”
“Chan, are you sure?” Jihoon asked, gesturing towards the exiting group. “You should rest a little after months of fighting.”
“I am alright, I insist,” his soldier assured him, raising his arms. “Let me take care of the child.” When you obliged, handing him the stirring bundle, he slowed his movements, ever so careful not to disturb him. He darted his gaze over you. “You, uh,” he said, and he chuckled sheepishly, a blush rising upon his cheeks. “You both carry on with whatever you were doing before!”
Before you could say further, the man was hurrying out, forgetting to close the door as he took Seungcheol with him.
You and Jihoon watched him go, stunned at the sudden entrance of the centurions, and then the sudden exit within minutes. You could not help the huff of laughter that escaped you at their antics, catching his attention. “What is the laugh for?”
“Your commanders, darling,” you mused, wrapping an arm around your husband. “They are more bizarre than usual.”
Exhaling through his nose, he returned your embrace twice over, engulfing you within his hold. “My half-witted commanders,” he reminisced, running his fingers across your back. “They are delighted to be back.”
“I can tell,” you giggled out, leaning into him. “I missed them greatly.”
His face ghosted a little smugness. “But you missed me more.”
“You keep convincing yourself of the notion.”
Feeling his laughter reverberating off him, you felt yourself being pulled at arm’s length, looking up at him once more. Your husband leaned in then, gently pressing his forehead against yours. “No one is at home anymore, vita.”
A raise of your eyebrow. “Chan just asked me to stay here.”
“Oh, you know what I mean,” he insisted, brushing his nose with yours. “We are alone...with no one to bother us again…”
Much as you would like to follow his intentions, you feared the state of the pending party. It had been two years since the Eagle and his centurions’ return—their triumph will be celebrated without fault.
“Jihoon,” you murmured, taking great pains in retracting from his kisses. “I must go.”
His lips trailed down to your chin, making your willpower all the more weak. “Can you not spare me even an hour?”
If you could spare him half that hour, you would have gladly indulged him, but the party arrangements awaited. The soldiers, and your general, deserved the best of welcomes.
So you made yourself separate from his tempting hold, taking a few steps away from him. “I cannot offer even a second, my love.”
The man pretended to be beyond upset at your resistance. He waited till your feet landed on the entryway when he spoke.
“Perhaps it was better you did not give me a mere hour, vita.”
You looked back. Leaning against the stone cot, he let his lips curl upwards. “It simply would not suffice.”
The curiosity in your eyes had him further smirking. “I need an entire day to make up for the two years of absence from you.”
It was sheer luck you were holding onto the doorframe.
“Careful, love,” he cooed, which only had you stumbling further out of the door in shock. His laughter followed you faintly as you left the room, blood rushing to your cheeks in drastic speed.
You hoped ardently, without shame, that he would carry out his intentions.
Then, you aggressively shook your head, heading straight to the kitchens. Not these thoughts at the moment, _____.
You have a party to prepare for.
THE NIGHT OF THE WELCOMING ARRIVED AS QUICKLY AS YOU HAD HOPED.
The guests began to enter your estate as soon as the sun descended on the empire, bringing words of praise and gifts to your husband and his soldiers. Your pride swelled exceedingly at hearing the positive messages, encouraging everyone to drink to their health. The smiles did not cease, widening further when the men and women fawned over your child. They wished for your baby to grow up just like the man he was named after, and you smiled, scared that one word from you would have your tears gushing.
You had everyone lay on their seated beds, surrounding tables filled with nourishment. Orders spilled from your lips to never stop the plates of beef and veal and fish and infinite other meats—tonight, your guests would feast like emperors.
Eventually, the stars of the legion arrived, howling in celebration at seeing you adorned in indigo-coloured finery. You reckoned that they had drunk a fountain’s worth before showing up here, but you only hauled them inside, showing them to their place—cushioned couches all set up around low, circular tables, food nearly toppling off the edges.
Seokmin drooled at the sight. “Out of the way, bastards!” He declared, running straight for the bedding in the middle part of the cushioned arc, settling himself nicely before digging in instantly. “Tell your slave Chan to bring us some wine!”
As if on cue, the soldier came rushing in with huge jugs of the featured drink, looking at you. “Is this alright?”
“Of course, Chan,” you said, taking the jugs from him. “Now you lay beside your friends! You have helped me enough.”
“Where is that man of yours, my lady?” Soonyoung drawled, snatching a cup of honey wine from the servants. “He did not accompany us this afternoon.”
“He had to go meet Octavian,” you answered, the rest of the centurions lodging themselves on the cushions. “There were honours he had to receive from him before he could officially celebrate here.”
“As long as he gets drunk with us, I do not mind,” Wonwoo voiced, raising his cup in toast.
Seokmin, seeing Chan looking around in embarrassment, poured a cup full of alcohol and pushed it in his hand. “Drink up, boy! I am not having you shy away from your victories!”
The latter seemed much inclined to throw away the wine, but his friends began to groan. “Fine, fine, but only a sip!”
Seungkwan downed his cup, sighing into it. “He will never grow up.”
Wonwoo eyed you with concern as he plucked a grape from its pack. “Will you not have a rest with us?”
“You men have your fun,” you insisted. “I will settle when Jihoon comes home.”
Fortunately, that did not take more than ten minutes, you catching the sound of hooves outside the estate. Footsteps sounded from the entrance, and you whirled to see your new arrival.
The primus pilus of the Legacy Legion looked every bit his title—regal, powerful, magical in his purple robes, hemmed with gold as it draped over his loose white shirt, exposed on his right arm. His locks, longer than his hair months ago, curled slightly along his neck, roughening his usual soldierly demeanour.
Squealing, you rushed to him, greeting him with a kiss. “Come, come!” You exclaimed, ushering him inside.
“The general’s arrived!” Seokmin before you with the others following, albeit with more difficulty.
Jihoon directed a soft smile at you before sneering at his friends. “At least finish chewing on your food, you babies.”
“Care about your own baby before calling us such, you prick!”
“You are very lucky you are drunk, Wonwoo!”
“Sit with them,” you said, tugging him to a free space between subordinates.
As your husband obliged, he let his curiosity wander. “And where are you off to?”
Your gaze went beyond the dining hall, into the leeways that brought you to the kitchens. “I am a host, dear, and that means making sure all my guests are accommodated for.”
His grip on you was strong. “When will you come back?” He asked, thumb brushing over your hand.
You let your lips slip into a small smile. “Soon.”
And you were off, letting Jihoon’s eyes brush over you instead of his touch.
A few hours into the party and the chaos began.
You knew it was bound to happen eventually, with the amount of wine being consumed—your friends alone downed half the deposits, the consequences of such reckless drinking being exposed by their behaviour.
The centurions’ area was by far the loudest: Seokmin drank to the point he pissed in the jug that stored his wine, Seungkwan then threatening to topple that very jug atop his head. Soonyoung resorted to self-praise in his stupor, with Wonwoo shaking his head, yet laughing uncontrollably at every unfunny quip the former slipped out. Chan giggled as he sipped his alcohol, Jihoon watching all his friends with a full cup in his own hand.
It was around midnight when you heard the voice of your beloved calling for you.
“Vita!”
Excusing yourself from your tipsy guests, you walked to your dear men, who were creating a ruckus in your home. You felt soft fingers caress your shin within your dress, and you looked down to see your general smiling at you.
“Sit, my love,” he said, tugging you down to him. “You have made me wait a while.”
“Fine!” You exclaimed with mock exasperation, laying down next to him.
He wrapped his arm around you, pulling you to him, your entire back pressed against his front. “There,” he whispered, and the proximity of his breath had chills running down your spine.
You hoped he could feel the warmth radiating off you.
“_____!” Seokmin exclaimed, pointing his cup at you in accusation, wine sloshing out and spilling. “I have a bone to pick with you!”
“Oh, gods,” Jihoon cursed quietly.
“So I found out from our esteemed general that you named your son Seungcheol.” The man scoffed. “How could you commit such an action?”
When you raised your eyebrows, he smirked in disbelief, gesturing towards himself. “My lady, I am offended you did not name him after me.”
Wonwoo spit out his drink, unable to control his laughter. Seungkwan poured himself some more, clicking his tongue in amusement. “Gods forbid we have another Seokmin in our circle.”
“Now what is that supposed to mean?” the man demanded, bunching his robes from his arms.
“I know you are not that stupid,” was his sly answer.
“Boys,” Jihoon seethed, glaring at the two about to send the estate down with their fists. “Lay off the anger or lay off the wine.”
Grumbling as they broke off their spat, you looked up at the mediator, swirling his cup. “You know you do not have to be a general here.”
Your husband hummed absent-mindedly, lazily running his hand along you. “I know, vita. Can I ever rest, though, when I have such rowdy dogs barking around me all the time?”
Chuckling, you leaned into him, his honey-like scent engulfing you. “Have you drank?”
“Only a little.” You felt a lilt to his voice as he continued. “Sober enough to see clearly how divine you look. Especially in this dress.”
You stilled as his hands began to wander downwards.
Your voice barely came out as you said, “Jihoon, what…what are you doing?”
He did not respond, instead adorning a small smile on his face as his fingers ghosted down your body, to your stomach. On instinct you stopped his trail with your own hand, gripping his wrist. “Jihoon!” you hissed. “There are people right beside us!”
“People who do not know what is going on around them,” he added, gesturing to his friends. Sure enough, each and every one of the centurions were out of their minds, save for Chan, who was too preoccupied trying to take away their drinks.
Jihoon turned to you once more, eyes inviting. “I mean, I will stop if you wish.” His movements turned slower, your hand still on his. “If you have other…pressing matters.”
Your mind could only think of damning whatever ‘pressing matters’ there well to the underworld. Perhaps he could see it too. “If roaming eyes are what you fear,” he whispered, “Then let me solve that problem.”
In a flash, he brought one long slit of his toga, resting the huge sheet of fabric upon you so your entire body was cloaked, along with his wandering fingers. So casually he began his journey once more, widening your eyes with each finger spiralling downwards.
When he reached the spot, shielded only with your silk, his head rested softly against your neck. “There we go.”
He barely grazed the slit, but the very sensation had you squeezing your own hand upon his. “Easy, darling,” he whispered, as if he was not the reason for your change. “I haven’t even done anything and yet you falter.”
“Not my fault you went away for two years,” you hissed. It was a terrible thing to say, really, but your desire was bubbling. Your rationality, in turn, simply had to depart.
The comment only made your husband chuckle. “I was saving the Empire, vita.” His other hand, completely free, occupied itself, his solitary finger ghosting along your skin. “Would you rather I damn the world to the gods and serve at your feet instead?”
“As if you do not already,” you murmured, your hand loosening on his wrist.
Earning another soft laugh from him, his new freedom had him sliding down further. “And where did this…newfound confidence come from?” he asked, one finger delving into your slit and eliciting a shuddered breath. “I’d only hear gasps from you before.”
His slow endeavours found your clit beneath the silk, and the seething gasp that tore from your mouth had the bastard sighing in satisfaction. “Ah, see?” He continued, his hand upon your shoulder now sliding beneath his cloak. It found refuge upon your breasts, perked from the sheer desire burning inside. “Fuck, I missed, I–” His fingers circled your clit, and you closed your eyes, heart beating rapidly underneath his other hand.
Your breathing turned harsh, eyes darting to the members of your husband’s legion—completely unaware of the shuddering mess of nerves you had become. “Look at you,” Jihoon sighed out, fastening his fingers. “Acting out with our loved ones under this roof.” Your soft whines were music to his ears. “Whatever shall I do with you?”
“Maybe you should—fuck,” you cut off, your legs tensing, a dull, delicious ache growing at the small of your back. “Jihoon, I—”
Your line of speech was interrupted by another voice. You had hoped it would be your husband, taunting you further into oblivion, but it was a voice of pure concern.
“By the gods, _____, are you alright?”
You blinked back to see Chan, holding two glasses of wine, shaking off Soonyoung’s hands. Your eyes then widened, acutely aware of Jihoon’s fingers slowing, your release fading.
Sly as an asp, your husband retracted his hands, still under his cloak. “What is the matter, dear friend?”
The centurion had his gaze fixed on you, confused at your state. “Is _____ okay, general? Her breathing, she…it sounds uneven. Even her eyes are dazed.”
Soonyoung, taking the lucky chance of his friend’s engrossment, snatched the wine from his hand, downing the bowl. “She is drunk, you fool!” he exclaimed, loud enough for Wonwoo to double over, cursing his rowdy mouth. “And you should be as well, instead of ruining our fun!”
“My lady, allow me to indulge you with wine,” Wonwoo sang out, trying to catch a jug of alcohol from thin air.
Seungkwan snorted at his attempts, successfully stealing Seokmin’s drinks and chugging the lot. “Oi, you prick!” The latter yelled, nearly bringing the estate down. His friend merely laughed, calling him names and finishing the rest of the wine.
Chan, glancing for a moment away, focused on you once more. “Jihoon, I fear for _____.”
You feared for yourself too, but not in the manner the soldier spoke of—more your sanity at the pulsing, the near undoing now far from being reached.
Jihoon pressed a kiss to your temple, smiling at Chan’s words, despite differing intentions. “You worry too much, Chan,” he said, beginning to get up from his cushions, taking you gently into his arms. “It is as Soonyoung says. Mea Vita here has had a drink too much.”
The centurion seemed a little unconvinced, but his trust for his commander outgrew any suspicions. Seokmin scoffed at the couple attempting to leave, shaking his bowl at you both. “And where are the lovebirds off to?” he demanded.
“Lady _____ is tired from the honey wine,” Chan explained. “Jihoon is helping her sleep.”
“Ha!” was the boy’s reply.
“Are you really that dim-witted?” Seungkwan asked, laughing darkly at the youngest’s naivety.
“Huh?” Chan glanced at his general.
The general declared to his guests, “I will be retiring with my wife, but enjoy until dawn, friends!”
Cheers arose from every corner of the estate, no doubt eager to live up to his request. Jihoon then rested his eyes on his soldier, who looked up at him with great bewilderment.
He only offered a sly wink before slipping into the hallways.
Chan’s confusion only deepened.
Soonyoung spluttered into laughter. “You poor fool!”
Seungkwan’s smirk was prevalent as, taking the bowl filled with fresh honey wine from the tables, he sat beside Chan, offering him his first drink. “Let us educate you, dear man, on what exactly is about to happen between our general and his wife.”
IT TOOK APPROXIMATELY TEN SECONDS BEFORE YOUR PATIENCE SNAPPED IN YOUR DARKENED HALLWAYS.
You slapped your hands against Jihoon’s purple-clad chest, and tried to push him back into the stone wall. Of course, when one had the strongest general in the Roman Empire as a husband, physically overtaking them is an impossible action.
Which was why he began to laugh at your efforts before casually taking your wrists, whirling you about. Suddenly your back was against the wall, with his face near inches from you.
“Cannot control yourself for even a minute?” He purred, bringing your hands above your head. “Has the journey to our bedroom become too difficult?”
“Stop fucking about with me” you got out, aching to have your hands freed, touch his face, his lips, but he was too strong.
The man leaned further. “No, vita…it has been too long.”
He brushed his nose along with yours. “Don’t think I’ll be satisfied with simply fucking you against the wall.”
His words alone had your heart beating faster, eager to see how he would play the night out. It had been far too long since you had felt such promise of pleasure in these years.
“I won’t be either, general,” you mused, and the fire that sparked in Jihoon’s eyes could have very well brought you your undoing then.
That was enough for him to swoop in, damning all sweetness to the underworld as he collided his lips with yours.
You swore you could never tire of Jihoon’s lips as he moved hungrily, grip on your wrists tightening. A small noise lodged in the back of your throat, aching to be released but to no avail. His mouth refused to pull away, miss even a moment of how you felt against him.
The years away made you realise how much you missed his touch—lips in sync, bodies snuffing out any distance left—you had no choice but to whine into his mouth, opening yourself up fully to him. You wanted him all, without a single drop of hesitation.
Feeling the exact same, he happily delved further, an eon-old kernel of fire singeing his lips and searing you with his desire. His tongue, catching onto his lust, slithered past your teeth, swirling your tongue with his and increased the volume of your moans.
Gods, your moans, your little voices of passion were like victory trumpets to his ears, every single ah! or fuck! riling him further into a frenzy. He had not forgotten these glorious sounds when he was thousands of miles away, but it had been so fucking long since he had heard them in person, and not just his dreams.
So he relished in your moans. Completely engulfed himself in your bubble of desire as his one hand strayed from your wrists, skirting downwards along your body. Grabbing hold of your skirts, he raised them to your hips. He caught sight of your cunt, and he swore his mouth watered.
“Stop it…stop stalling, Jihoon,” you seethed, soul almost withering in wait for your husband to ruin you already.
Fortunately for you, he was the most accommodating man.
His hand freeing yours, it journeyed downwards to the real treasure. Your eyes widened at his finger sliding inside you, and the pure, ethereal sensation of his touch finally attaining your cunt had you dazing off completely. Your mouth forgot all words, as if forgetting how to speak the languages which Jihoon whispered now on your skin.
With your hands gaining newfound freedom, they carded through his hair, finding refuge in the soft, growing locks, tidied for the party. You would have done more had Jihoon not circled your clit, and the delirious sensation was back—your legs nearly gave way, and you let out a whimper as you held onto him tightly, lest you fell at his feet.
His sharp eyes caught onto your weakening state, slowing his ministrations. “How about I take this somewhere else?” He rasped in your ear.
Not waiting for your answer, he slid his hands underneath your thighs and picked you up, you instinctively wrapping your legs around him. He did not cease his kisses, his tongue dancing inside your mouth while finding the door to the bedroom.
He did not waste a single moment—kicking the door open with his foot, he settled you on the table right beside, throwing the objects to the floor. Giving you a small peck, he journeyed downwards, slowly kneeling before you while opening your legs.
His husky chuckling rang in your ears. “Gods, after so long…” he could not even finish, pressing airlight kisses upon your inner thigh, each phantom touch nearing the kernel of arousal. “So…fucking long…”
The minute he reached his destination his tongue slipped free of his mouth. Holding onto your thighs, he let himself take the last step.
His tongue sliding along your cunt had you melting on the table.
You were certain the table had crumbled beneath you, the ground fading as your husband explored you, lapping up the arousal dripping since the moment he graced you with his touch. A satisfied noise left his occupied mouth, you tasting like the honey wine you poured for him not an hour ago.
This. This made fighting relentlessly for two years worth it. This made every single drop of blood, buckets of sweat and floods of tears worth it. Life was hard, torturous even away from Rome, from you, but all that dark anguish in the time lost between you two was worth it if this was his reward.
And Jihoon would make sure this, too, would be worth it for you.
His tongue found your clit, and if you were not a mess before, the tendrils of pleasure that came with reduced you to cinders. He circled the bud like a slow march, growing faster with each passing beat. You moaned his name, a mantra on your lips which only rang louder.
“J-Jihoon,” you kept whimpering, and his tongue would circle faster. You begin to thrash against him, unable to sit still while he brought you such unadulterated thrill. You would have happily grinded against his face had his hands on your thighs not tightened, indicating to stop fidgeting.
In honesty you tried—you endeavoured to be composed, but the bastard made the task impossible. The writhing continued, and would have kept going had Jihoon not halted his actions.
You let out an agitated yelp.
“I’m sorry, vita, but you have to stay still,” he replied, fingers running along your thighs. “Do you not want to enjoy this?”
His lips glistened as he spoke, courtesy of your cunt. With his head in between your thighs, he was a feast for your eyes. “Fuck, Jihoon, I…I already am.”
Maybe he agreed that he was a fine feast, for he curved his shining mouth in a dark smirk, eyes not leaving yours as he slowly slung a leg over his shoulder. “Well then,” he began, repeating with the other leg, fingers skimming the naked skin. “Let me add to your pleasure.”
This time, when he dove in, he was relentless.
You gripped onto the edge of the table, fingers digging into the wood as he quickened the rhythm of his tongue, working on your bundle of nerves so deliciously you wondered how your soul still survived inside your body.
The wondering stopped, your questions answered when his finger joined in on the ravishing, sliding inside you and knocking the breath out of you. He was so undeniably good, knowing you liked the insertion slow, almost testing the waters before completely undoing you.
And gods bless him, for that is all he intended to do. The Eagle of Rome only knelt for the gods, but you, your whines, your writhing pleasure he drank like a man parched…
You had become a deity in his eyes; and a celestial figure deserved the best of service — hours upon hours of honing your desire because he was the only one who was capable of ruining you.
Another finger found itself inside you, and your cunt began to pulsate at the fullness it achieved, inching along the growing tension bubbling deep within your gut. Beads of sweat dripped down, your willpower to not thrash against his face about to snap, and when he fastened his pace an obscenely loud moan ripped through your mouth.
You were much too close to the final high.
“Fuck, Jihoon—!” you nearly cried, hands unable to stray from his hair, his wonderful, lustrous hair. “Jihoon, please, I’m so clo—”
His free hand on your thigh squeezed you ever so slightly, as if aware of your near absolution. He only sped up his work, his fingers gliding in and out so quickly you could not keep up. If that was not enough, his mouth sucking on your clit was ready to bring the sky down on your head.
But Jihoon was ready to risk the destruction of all the world. Ready to face the gods in his last hour as he swirled your swollen bud with his tongue one last time.
That was enough to come undone.
Your release came crashing, curls of pleasure riding all through your body as your mind misted into fog, no thought or idea save for the slow assistance of your husband, easing your throbbing. A lust-struck sigh came out of you, hand falling from his hair onto his tensed shoulder. Sensing your high washing over, he slowed his tongue, fingers withdrawn from your cunt.
He caught your gaze in his, two slick fingers hanging between you two. He dared you to look away as he brought them to his lips, slipping them inside and tasting the residue.
That sight alone could have made you come for the second time.
The bastard knew it too, for a ghost of a smirk exposed itself on his face, once his fingers were clean of your arousal. “Could not let it go to waste,” he murmured, as if your wetness was liquid gold.
Hands back on your thighs once more, he lifted himself up gently, toga in disarray over his service. With you sat upon the table, his fingers found home upon your chin, lifting your line of sight on him.
Pure hunger lay dormant in his eyes.
Not just his eyes, but his mouth still, when he leaned in and kissed you. You returned it without question, desire coiling around your soul as if it had not been released mere minutes ago.
You did not care. Not when you had waited so fucking long.
The man smiled between the burning kisses, humming at your lusted agony as he slid an arm around your waist. “My love—” a kiss upon the corner of your mouth —”What more shall I do—” another kiss, to the other corner—”For you?”
If he kept at it like this, you were going to forget your mother tongue. “Inside me…” you mustered between his lips on you, on your skin. A pathetic attempt, but your mind was still recovering from your release.
He paused, a malicious grin curving. “Pray, mea vita, my sweet, was I not just inside you?” Tugging you off the table, he held on tight as your knees buckled. “See? Even your body speaks for me.”
Your leg brushed against the weakness of his argument, almost tenting his toga. “Does yours?” you managed to remark, catching the defeated furrow of his brow.
His stare had you silent once again, butterflies forming in your stomach. Leaning in, his lips brushed against the shell of your ear.
“I’ll have your body screaming for me when I’m done, vita.”
Your body, in his response, shuddered against him.
Jihoon did not wait for more as he slotted his mouth along yours, igniting the flame again, unable to have enough of you as he whirled you around, eliciting the same little whines he adored so ardently.
He swooped you up in his arms, knowing your legs could not take the walk to the bed. Never stopping his kisses, he knew where to go by memory, hands skirting along your skin as he neared the final haven of tonight. Despite his words, he laid you gently upon the bed, continuing his trail upon your cheeks, your jaw, anywhere where you would allow him.
Your heart sang at what was to come. Memories flooded you, passionate nights of years ago reminding you of what had been, and what distance had snatched from you. You had never forgotten the last time you both had made love, the very last night you both had been offered before he was to sail away to satiate his need for vengeance. He had asked nothing from you, not a single request, even though he knew you would have given it to him in a heartbeat.
No, that night, he had explored every inch, every crevice of your body—burned his presence onto your skin till the entirety of Rome knew that Lee Jihoon had left a piece of himself in you. That piece morphed into the child you bore, but Jihoon had never really left your soul, despite the thousands of miles stretching between you two.
“Never again,” you let yourself whisper as he broke away, your hands fisting themselves in his toga, tugging off the fabric which was another form of distance. You needed him once again. Yes, you had withstood miles upon miles away from him. But now, you could not handle even inches apart.
He understood. He always understood, slipping off the clothing till it reached his hips. Climbing over you, his abdomen exposed, you could not believe your cheeks burned at the sight of him half-naked before you. A small chuckle escaped him, and he stole a quick kiss before burying himself into your neck.
His fingers reached for the loose straps of your dress, barely of use. “Take these off for me, darling,” he whispered, and the order vibrated along your skin, ready to be followed. While you desperately tried to pry your dress off, he pressed open-mouthed kisses along the base of your throat, making your simple task an impossible mission.
One strap fell, and Jihoon’s teeth slowly sank into your skin, sucking at the spot with such passion a soft groan trambles out of you, unsure whether you could get the other half of your dress off. Thankfully, with someone as accommodating as him, he pressed an unironically chaste kiss before finding the last straps himself.
The pure smugness in his eyes had you in near tears. “One little kiss, and you’ve ceased working,” he drawled breathily. “Must I do all the work, my sweet?”
You would have cursed his ancestors had he not brought your dress down, tossing the clothing to the side and drinking in your bare figure.
A breath shuddered out of him, certain that you could inhale the pure lust oozing from him. “I can’t…I cannot believe I went two years without…without this—”
The words were left unfinished as he wasted no time, indulging your mouth for moments before pouncing downwards, taking your left breast in his mouth and skimming his teeth softly against the nipple. The man was riling you up now, you taking his hair in your hands, certain you were trying to tear his locks out with the way you held onto him. Jihoon did not seem to mind, too occupied with your breasts to pay heed to your damage.
“Jihoon, please, I need you to—fuck!” cut off with his tongue encircling your breasts, you nearly had had enough. Your cunt ached for the final descent, your patience growing thin. “Please, I-I need you inside me!”
His answer was allowing one last lick to your right nipple, cold striking your breasts as he looked down at you, eyes glossed over with carnal delight. With his hand he ripped away the toga pooling at his hips, and his cock was freed, almost enraged to be cloaked away in silk.
You looked like a fool staring at it, but you could not help it—you did not remember it being so huge, even though it has been inside you countless times. Another piece of evidence that he had been away from you long enough.
“Ogled enough, darling?” his voice snapped you back, and you were almost embarrassed at the shit-eating grin that lit up his face.
“Shut up,” you mumbled, but you could not say more, you being silenced with his searing kiss.
Pulling away, his forehead rested against yours, black locks tickling your cheeks as he held your one side in one hand, and his cock in another.
Nudging your legs apart, the tip brushed against your folds, and your soul nearly departed from the ghost of a touch. “Careful,” he warned, thumb stroking your hip, and he stole a glance at you.
“I love you, vita,” he whispered.
And began the final descent.
His cock slid inside, slowly, ever so slowly, but with every inch you felt each layer of your spirit stop to a standstill. Jihoon never stopped watching—catching your parted mouth, the shallow, uneven breaths you took, the knitted brows, your fingers holding onto him for dear life. He could not help it, see—these few seconds, these few, transitory moments, where both souls are on the edge of the world, and none know whether they’d hang on, or fall to their doom.
This moment encompassed such an image within the features of your face.
And he relished it. Captured the image, and used it as fuel to his carnal fire as he buried himself into you, releasing a breath he kept inside the entire time. Maybe it was after so long, but the two of you stayed still, your husband fearing you might snap. A frivolous thought, of course, but one can believe anything when one is so vulnerable.
One look from you, though, had his doubts disappearing in an instant. You let a small smile escape, and it was all he needed before he slowly withdrew, the mere action so gratifying you wondered whether it was another one of your dreams, a vision granted by the mercy of the gods.
Maybe the gods were extra pleased, for Jihoon was no dream—only a very pleasing reality, waiting for your whimpers to fill the room before thrusting back into you again. The rhythm was beginning to strike, and you were its follower; the shy hesitations started to fade, and you could feel his desire burning with every slide out, and every slide in of his cock into you, holding onto your hips to keep you steady.
With each thrust you felt the stakes of your pleasure reach higher and higher. Tendrils of delight rippled through you with his movements, quickening yet keeping his fluidity, like an elegant dancer in a warfield, somehow managing to emerge victorious with his body alone. Of course, you could never doubt your husband. He was the favourite of the Empire for a reason.
“By the gods, you—” he plunged into you once more, and he grazed a certain spot inside you that had you seeing the universes. “You’re so fucking good to me, you—”
Never finishing his sentences, never even finishing his line of thought, the sole thing in his mind being your delicious fucking folds, your cunt which felt so perfect around his cock. He leaned in further, teething sweet love bites onto your neck, revelling in your pleasured groaning, growing louder and louder with each quickened thrust. “Yes, vita, just like that!” he exclaimed, never stopping. “For all of Rome to hear!”
He did not care a bit if the world heard them now. All that mattered to him was you, you and only you.
More so when that familiar, growing ache of nerves was back, warning you of your impending release. Jihoon was ruthless to you, relentless with his cock, unforgiving with his tongue and teeth which managed to devour your every inch. There was no escaping it—the ache was like a tightened knot, with his actions well on its way to unravel it.
“I-I’m close, Jihoon,” you breathed out, pressing your lips on his chest, his shoulder, anything you could grasp. “Please, love, I need to—”
“I know, vita,” he guttered, as if he, too, was close. He did not care much for that, though, when all he could focus on was you, all broken words and teary gazes beneath him. “I know.”
To add even more to your doom, he brought back an older prospect, fingers circling your clit and heightening the delight swirling within your gut ten times over. The nerves were pumping, faster and faster, and you were deathly aware that it was now or never.
Your eyes, seeing stars throughout, found your husband within the mist of desire. “J-Jihoon…”
Everything was forgotten. Not a word remembered in the fog of your mind but your vita’s name, your lover’s name, bright as the summer sun, as bold as the royal colours he adorned in his triumph.
As true as the love never lost between the two of you.
It was enough for the Eagle of Rome to capture your lips, holding you in a heart-wrenching kiss.
It was enough for you to completely ruin yourself.
Your cries drowned onto his mouth as release came crashing, legs shaking as you died and resurrected all at once, came undone within his hold. The world slipped away in that moment, with him as your anchor, saving you from being eternally lost.
While you lay breathless, Jihoon slipped himself out of you, breaking away from your kiss to cry out himself, spilling himself onto you and the sheets. A haggard fuck escaped him, arcing over you before throwing himself beside you.
Silence welcomed you after that.
The din of the party remained, and both of you gasping, but a silence followed, like a warm winter blanket. Both of you stared at the ceiling, the moonlit parts of the surfaces, trying to catch your breaths after what you both just experienced.
Turning your head, you caught Jihoon already stealing glances. They were heavy-lidded, unsurprisingly, yet you found it endearing, despite the circumstances.
“What?” you got out, cocking your head at his soft staring.
He shook his head, smiling tiredly. He stretched his arm out towards you, murmuring, “Come here.”
Obliging, you followed under his arm, resting your head against his chest. Despite the granite-hardness of his body, no other surface would suffice. Your head rose and fell along to his uneven breathing, a small comfort.
As the general gazed down at you, the softness returned; his thumb stroked along your cheeks. “I…” he began, voice huskier than usual, you humming in satisfaction.
“Yes?” you got out, hanging onto his every word.
Glancing away for a second, he looked to the window, and the view it offered of the world beyond.
He then glanced back at you, a better world he had found of his own.
“I am…so happy…” he whispered. Whispered because he had to tell his world what he felt. “So happy to come back to you.”
Your heart but into a thousand butterflies.
A smile as wide as you could muster was your response.
And as he continued stroking your hair, and you leaning into his hold, you too, knew that you felt the exact same.
For the Eagle of Rome had returned to you at last.
CENTURION LEE CHAN HAD WITNESSED HORRORS.
He had seen thousands of dead men, scattered across the sands of Egypt. He had seen ships sink before his very eyes—by the gods, he had even seen the beginnings of death, when he nearly drowned at the final naval battle that secured Legacy Legion its victory.
None of these events, however, made him more queasy as realising that you, while you were laid beside your husband, were not experiencing intoxication from honey wine. It was an exhilaration of a completely unusual kind, a feeling that had the tips of his ears reddening.
His fellow men’s reactions only made it worse. “What did you think they were going to do?” Seungkwan only demanded. “Sleep it off on their first night together?”
“Well, how was I to know?” the youngest visibly shivered. “I do not know how married people work.”
“Poor soul,” Soonyoung tutted out, no plans for pausing his drink. “I fear for when he is to wed.”
“I still do not understand,” Seokmin voiced out. “They have a whole child together. How did you not…”
“My apologies for not pondering over our general’s intimate life,” Chan grumbled. “How idiotic of me.”
“Do not mind these deviants,” Wonwoo assured him, handing him a fresh cup of wine. “You just drink their awful comments away.”
He spared a fearful glance at the cup, filled with honey wine. “I should not,” he meant to declare in a confident stance. His voice, already weakened from a previous revelation of his commander’s, had rendered his declaration as a childish mumble. “The baby would need my attention sooner or later.”
“Fuck the baby!” was Seokmin’s great exclamation, clicking his tongue. “He is already the star guest of this damned celebration. We—!” he patted his chest repeatedly—”We were supposed to be the ones our people fawn over!”
“Your need for attention never fails to astound me,” Wonwoo remarked, circling his drink. “The boy was named after our murdered friend.”
“It happens to men like Seokmin,” Seungkwan drawled, slinging an arm around him, “To those men who received no attention at home.”
“Fuck off!” Seokmin jeered, rasped out from the alcohol buzzing in his system. “At least our Roman women fawned over me this afternoon. Where were your girls?”
“My, my, our dear Seokmin’s imagination runs so wild!” The second-youngest cooed condescendingly, grabbing Wonwoo’s cup, which had the latter furrowing his brows. “He dreams of female attention when we have seen no evidence of it!”
Soonyoung wished to join in on the bullying, chiming in, “And now he envies a child that cannot control its own piss!”
As everyone laughed at the poor, drunk soul, who genuinely looked as if he might cry, Wonwoo waved his large hands around, as if attempting to calm everyone down. “No more harassing the unloved virgin.”
“We were not talking about Chan though,” Soonyoung instantly piped up, his next said-target narrowing his eyes.
“Just because I choose to save myself for someone I love,” he grumbled, which had chuckling resonating around the group.
“Gods help her when she turns up, then,” Seungkwan sighed out, drinking Wonwoo’s wine.
Perhaps Chan might have said something in retort—might have even garnered the strength to punch the honey wine out of his friend’s insides when one of the servants came hurrying.
He identified her as Myrtia, your personal maid, who looked incredibly distressed. “Centurion Lee,” she immediately began, “Seungcheol keeps crying!”
“Oh, gods,” Soonyoung crowed, “Wet-nurse first, soldier second, is it?”
“At least he is not a whore first, Soonyoung,” Seokmin muttered.
“Both of you, shut up!” Chan finally snapped, turning to Myrtia once more. “Where is he right now? Will _____ not tend to him?”
“Our dear _____ is a little occupied being tended to herself, remember?” Seungkwan reminded him, his smirk malicious.
The youngest flushed scarlet, shaking his head. “Right, of course…” He heaved himself off the cushions, to much of his friends’ agitation. “I will see what to do.”
“What?” Soonyoung sat up, but the alcoholic daze had him swaying slightly. “Wait, wait, wait, don’t just leave!”
“Take me to Cheol,” Chan said to Myrtia, but before she could even agree, four rounds of disapproving voices hurled towards the poor boy.
“No!” Seungkwan exclaimed first, taking great pains to hoist himself off the long tables. “No, no, you cannot go on your own!”
“Exactly!” Seokmin joined in, using Seungkwan’s toga to try hauling himself up. “You will die in there!”
Wonwoo clicked his tongue, even though he, too, was beginning to follow after his friends. “Chan is not going to die with a mere child.”
Chan watched his superiors rise carelessly from their furnishings, already feeling a little frantic. “What are you all doing?”
“Why, coming with you, of course!”
“Myrtia, my sweet,” Soonyoung purred, patting a hand on her shoulder, “You lead us straight to the baby!”
Hurriedly nodding, she turned and headed towards the destination, five centurions hot on her heels as they were led down the familiar hallways. Chan muttered to himself, but did not have time to self-ponder when he was constantly being distracted.
“How much longer is this going to take?” Seokmin whined, holding onto the walls for support. “And since when did the lamps on _____’s walls start shaking?”
“It has not been a minute and you’re complaining!” Seungkwan snarked out. “It’s a wonder you managed to walk forty miles everyday, lazy git.”
“Not lazy enough to slice your mouth right off!”
“Just this door here,” Myrtia said, turning into the empty doorway, dipping her head in respect as she stepped out of the way, allowing Chan to enter first, the rest stumbling behind him.
Sure enough, the first noise heard in everyone’s ears was the wailing—a screechy, whiny sound which reverberated off the stone walls, striking discomfort, irritation, turmoil in the hearts of whoever heard them. The man who felt it the most dashed to the cot, brows joining together in agitation over the sight of the baby.
“You would think Chan was the father,” Seungkwan retorted. “Do something about this crying, boy!”
“You really are heartless,” Wonwoo scolded, following after the youngest. Observing the crying child, he pursed his mouth into a thin line. “How does one…stop a baby from crying?”
“Only a mother can take care of her child,” Seokmin voiced out, as if he thought of a ground-breaking notion akin to Plato’s wisdom.
“We are not disturbing _____,” Seungkwan rebuked, shaking his head vigorously. “Those two have waited nearly two years to fuck each other again.”
“Let them have their fun!” Soonyoung roared, which had the baby crying louder. “Gods, Chan, you are the youngest after Cheol. Handle this sobbing mess!”
“I have seen twenty summers,” Chan muttered.
“Yes, so a baby in my eyes!”
“Of course you are going to consider Chan as a baby, you geriatric. It’s a wonder you did not collapse on the battlefield.”
I will kill you in the next war, Seungkwan.”
As the rest started grumbling amongst themselves, the youngest gently picked up the bundle, slowly rocking him in hopes to calm the crying. Seungcheol’s face was reddened with the constant sorrow, and it broke Chan’s heart a little, hoping that he would gain some newfound power and solve whatever problem ailed him.
A sigh escaping him, he began to mumble sweet nothings to him, morphing those whispers in a quaint song he heard from his own childhood. His melody was like honey wine, words so soft, his voice so sweet, that the men that accompanied him began to quieten, turning their heads to the origin.
Wonwoo watched the scene, smiling lop-sidedly. “You are a natural!”
“It is quite embarrassing,” Seokmin admitted, scratching the back of his head, “That the youngest of us is the only one able to calm a child.”
“None of us claimed to be good with children,” Seungkwan thought out loud, observing the younger soldier tend to the sobbing, which had quietened to mere whimpers.
Soonyoung tried to raise a brow—strong on tried, but he was too drunk to carry out such a simple action. “You always boasted of your relationships with your nieces and nephews.”
“That is different. I could care less about random urchins.”
“Seungkwan!” Seokmin exclaimed. “Seungcheol is no urchin.”
“He was though, was he not?” The man scoffed, albeit a bit tenderly as he began to reminisce. “Gods, did you forget how insufferable he was?”
“Always on our arses, too,” Soonyoung agreed, snickering. “Do you remember when he got us in shit with Octavian?”
“Talking back to Caesar’s successor during our first military session.” Wonwoo visibly shivered. “The punishment still haunts me.”
But the distant memory only made the rest chuckle, as if the centurions had not received verbal lashings from the leader of Rome at that time. Silence bathed the room, only Seungcheol’s voice sputtering through the surface of calm. It had only been a meagre two-and-half years since the inspiration behind his name had passed, but with the hardships of the Alexandria campaign, it had felt like decades. Even Chan felt the age of this campaign, although he was young when he suffered the loss.
He sensed the loss a little more that night as, walking away from the cot, he leaned against the wall. As if unable to stand, he let his legs buckle a little, sliding down and settling on the floor, feet spreading out before him. “I sometimes see him in my dreams,” he admitted.
There was a heavy pause.
Then, “He visited me more a year back.”
Everyone focused on Soonyoung. Travelling to where his youngest friend sat, he copied his position, continuing, “I told Jihoon about it, actually, right before Actium…I deemed it a sign of the gods.” A small laugh huffed out of him. “He then corrected me, saying it was all Cheol.”
“Typical,” Seungkwan said, smiling. “Take all the might of the gods and reward himself for it.”
“I cannot blame him, though,” Wonwoo countered, wandering over to the seated duo, looking down at their general’s son. “A loss of faith can come with a loss of a loved one.”
“Yes, but look at us now!” Seokmin reasoned, gesturing to them all. “Victors of the coming generation!”
“But these so-called ‘Victors’ cannot stop a baby from crying,” Wonwoo murmured, sitting beside Chan. “I doubt we deserve that title.”
“Hey, at least Chan deserves it.” Seokmin hurried to sit beside the former, watching tenderly over at the baby. “Look, he is silent now!”
“No way!” Seungkwan exclaimed, sauntering to the group and settling beside Soonyoung, reaching over to inspect the claim.
Sure enough—at the centre of the most powerful soldiers in Rome, almost slumbering in complete peace, was a silent Seungcheol, happy Seungcheol as he stirred only if Chan moved his hand, or shifted his legs. It was not as if they had not seen a mere child before, but, once again, this bundle, so full of life, was different. This was their commander’s legacy. Their leader’s soul extended from his own life-force, his evidence that he loved.
This Seungcheol that the five men stared at was the new beginning.
It was a long time before anyone spoke. “Do you think he looks more like one over the other?” Wonwoo asked.
“All babies look the same to me,” Seokmin offered his opinion.
By Seungkwan’s incredulous glance, it seemed it was not appreciated. “No one let this idiot have a child of his own.”
The accused frowned, genuinely hurt. “Hey! I should like to have a family one day. Give you all opportunity to become uncles again.”
“I would recognise your baby anywhere,” Soonyoung crowed, “Because it shall be the ugliest out of ours.”
The gasp that escaped Seokmin had Chan choking out a laugh. Seungcheol stirred at the action, which had the latter immediately stilling. “You guys need to insult each other’s future children a little quieter,” he whispered.
The former had other plans, though. “Wait, can I hold him?”
Chan shot a concerned glance. “Fine, but be careful!” he insisted, slowly handing over the bundle to Wonwoo, who, after smiling at him, passed him over at the end.
Seokmin began rocking the child, who glanced up at him, languidly blinking up at the soldier. He was ecstatic, softly touching the tiny nose, and feeling his mouth widen into a grin. “See? He likes me already!”
“Yeah, after Chan has done all the hard labour,” Wonwoo commented, beaming at the baby’s expression.
“I want Cheol after you,” Soonyoung demanded, crossing his arms, “So he can see what a real man is like.”
“Real jester, more like,” Seungkwan muttered, earning himself a hard elbow in the side.
What Seokmin wanted to do was tell the eldest to wait his turn. He did not have the opportunity when he smelt the air around him, and found it most foul.
Chan noticed it immediately as well, and within the next few seconds, the others caught on. Five pairs of eyes whirled to the baby, who had the audacity to giggle.
Seokmin let out a scream.
“BY THE FUCKING GODS—!”
Everyone scrambled to their feat, the rest struggling to hold back their amusement. “Not so loud!” Chan hissed, though he was restraining a laugh, only successful by the finger on his lips.
“Stupid damned baby!” Seokmin screeched, holding the bundle at arms length.
Wonwoo could not help his laugh, which spluttered out of him. “You cannot blame a baby for acting like one! It is like scolding a dog for running after a bone.”
The comparison had Soonyoung bellowing out, holding his stomach. “I always knew Seungcheol was annoying, but shitting on us is another low!”
Seokmin visibly shivered, patience running thin. “I hope he is rotting in the underworld,” he cursed, completely merciless.
“I hope he is laughing at you,” Seungkwan prayed instead, wiping a few tears from his eyes.
Chan only shook his head, walking to the doorway and stretching his head out. “Myrtia!” he called out, catching her tending to the guests in the dining areas.
Quickly she arrived at the scene, understanding immediately what had occurred, judging by the men’s reactions. “Hand him over, Centurion,” she ordered, he obliging her instantly.
“Sorry?” Seokmin offered, as if he was the one who soiled his toga. That had the others laughing even more, which had him furrowing his brows. “You men are the worst!”
“After ruining Chan’s night with all our complaints, it is only fair that we turn to you!” Soonyong explained, as if that was perfectly reasonable.
Seungkwan cackled darkly. “We really are each other’s worst enemy.”
Wonwoo somehow found that incredibly sentimental. “I would not have it any other way,” he said, slinging his arm around Chan, ushering the other three to join in. “After all, who knows us better?”
“You make a stellar point!” The eldest clasped onto Chan’s free side, poking him in the cheek. “I would not wish to befriend any other wretched bastard.”
“You do not possess the ability to make friends, Soonyoung,” Seungkwan pointed out.
“Then what are we?” Seokmin demanded, offended, the last to join the group.
“Comrades?”
“Colleagues?”
“People who have seen me naked?”
But it was Chan, who was quiet all this time, observing his older—usually irritating, sometimes diabolical, yet always beloved—superiors, there formed an answer which had been settled in his heart the moment he had found their company nearly a decade back.
“Brothers.”
The men surrounding him stilled, gawking at the centre of their group—the centre that was always the core of their brotherhood. Although there was ample opportunity to poke fun at the situation, they found no ground for such humiliation. They only watched as, in an almost comical image, four pairs of eyes softened at the boy who had grown right in front of them.
Wonwoo ruffled the youngest’s mop of waves. “And you are the dearest out of us all.”
“And do not forget it,” Seungkwan said. “Even if we make you seem otherwise.”
Chan smiled at them all, face flushing at the amount of attention received. A comfortable silence fell over them, everyone pondering over different notions, reminiscing of their times together.
Soonyoung, however, possibly still a little intoxicated, thought of a completely different opportunity—thoughts of the very near future.
“Men,” he began, “I have a proposition.”
The soldiers perked up, about to brace themselves for a revolutionary idea.
“Who wants to spy on Jihoon and _____?”
There was a momentary pause. Chan, visibly horrified, whirled his head left and right, praying to the gods that his fellow brothers felt the same.
“Go on, then.”
And as the four eldest centurions shuffled to the nursery’s entrance, Chan scrambled for a solution, because he would have rather been Mark Antony’s prisoner than listen to his commander and his wife…solidify their reunion.
He sucked in a sharp breath.
“Wait!”
The men paused, looking over their shoulders. “What is it?”
That intake of breath was released in complete devastation. So much for calling these utter shits brothers.
“How about we all drink? I shall…” A hard gulp. “I shall join you properly all this time.”
They could not believe it at first. Chan, however, trudged over to them, grabbing onto whatever shoulder was nearest. “I mean it.”
He swore his brothers seemed happier in that moment than they had been cradling Jihoon’s child.
“Well, what are we waiting for?!” Soonyoung roared, already leaving the entrance. “Let us empty the coffers!”
And as the five most powerful men in Rome ran to be utterly gone with alcohol, Chan could not help but huff out a laugh, and hoped he had done his primus pilus a favour.
YOU HAD ALWAYS ADORED THE WAY YOUR HUSBAND SLEPT.
As one of the most esteemed, strongest generals ever walked on Roman soil, Lee Jihoon looked as vulnerable as your baby son as he lay next to you. His body rose and fell with every breath, his arm a strong comfort around you.
You could not help the smile that slipped past your mouth, watching him rest so peacefully after two years. You loved every single inch of your husband, but these little pieces of him, offered to you on rare occasions—with the sun bleeding through the bedroom windows, cool air drifting inside, kissing your skin—were a treasure rarer than all the wealths of the empire.
You dared not wake him, lest the moment ended, only allowing your fingers to stretch a little forward. Your fingertips caressed the small cuts, scars on his skin, wishing you could fill every crevice of his battle-worn face with your liquid love.
How beautiful he was, with or without what his experiences added onto him.
Perhaps he could feel the adoration radiating off of you, for he began to stir faintly, humming to your caresses. His arm around you pulled you closer, and you were mere inches from face.
What fortune to be so close to him, because you witnessed his eyes flutter open. Dark, chocolate irises welcomed you, and you wished with your heart that you could dive into them, and be forever lost in their haze.
“Morning,” you uttered, smiling.
He offered a lazy one in return. “Morning, my love.”
You almost beamed. “I love it when you say that.”
His brow raised absentmindedly. “What? Morning?”
You tutted. “I think you need to sleep some more.”
“Hmmm…” he nuzzled into your neck, closing his eyes. “I will if you sleep with me.”
“But I already am.”
He craned his head back, nestled in your chest. “I think you know what I mean, vita.”
Involuntarily, you caught your lower lip between your teeth, and by the look on Jihoon’s face, he had half a mind to copy your actions.
Perhaps you would have let him too, if you did not hear a suspicious sound.
You perked up, head turning towards the door, where the origins of the voice—voices, as you listened in—lay. Your husband, catching onto your change of countenance, stretched himself before sitting up straighter, eyes squinting at the door.
Grabbing onto your clothes, which lay unceremoniously on the floor, you half-dressed yourselves before you reached just before the entrance of the room. The voices were much louder, a sense of agitation filling each one.
The loudest of the noise, amongst all the bickering, was a soft wail.
“—you stupid prick, I told you not to feed it that!”
“Well how was I supposed to know what it likes?”
“I hope you and Seokmin never have children—”
“Gods, Jihoon is going to be raging mad—!”
“What it deserves for being called Cheol—!”
You did not get to hear the end of the discussion, for Jihoon grabbed onto the doorknob and burst open the door.
Shrieks were heard on the entrance, five centurions stumbling into your bedroom, one with a special, wailing package in his hand.
“By the gods!” your husband exclaimed, shaking his head at his subordinates, scrambling to stand straight. “What are you all doing, muttering about behind our door?”
“Uhh…general!” Wonwoo declared, earning a sharp hiss from his friends. “We actually…uhhh…” He looked at the others, confused. “What were we here for?”
Soonyoung, rubbing his temples, seethed, “Seungcheol, you idiot!”
“Ah, yes!” Wonwoo straightened, deepening his voice to pretend sobriety. “Seungcheol!”
Seokmin’s eyes widened. “But Seungcheol died years ago!”
Seungkwan then smacked him around the head. “Not that Seungcheol, you fucking idiot!”
You are the fucking idiot, you ugly bastard!”
You glanced at Chan, whose focus only lay on the crying child. The one who held him looked as if he might burst into tears too, but you spoke up before you had any more crying children in the house. “Here, let me tend to him.”
The boy handed you your son, but you noticed he dared not look you in the eye. “Is something the matter?” you asked him softly.
Soonyoung scoffed at your question. “Silly little virgin has been shitting his toga ever since he heard you two fucking like rabid dogs.”
“Watch your filthy mouth,” your husband guttered, which had the scolded-man shrinking back behind Wonwoo.
Seokmin snickered, Seungkwan smirking as you glanced at the youngest. “Chan…” you trailed off, not really sure on what to say.
Thankfully, your husband seemed to have a solution. “Chan, please grow up,” he remarked, crossing his arms over his tousled clothing. “You were holding my child mere seconds ago.”
“He just needs to stick his cock into someone,” Seungkwan said, a bit too matter-of-factly.
“Or something,” added Seokmin, the honey wine clearly still talking.
You saw Chan physically recoil from the statement. “What did you even have in mind?” Wonwoo asked, nose scrunching in distaste. “Actually, I do not want to know.”
“Sober up, the lot of you,” you said, unable to stay serious, despite the death glares Jihoon offered them. “I need you all to help me clean the place up today.”
Everyone unanimously groaned, causing the latter to get irritated. “If I hear a sound from you pathetic drunkards, then it’s 40 miles around the city.”
Soonyoung turned his head to you, clearly exasperated. “_____, did you bite his cock or something?”
“Soonyoung!” You gasped.
“I need to lie down,” Wonwoo groaned, turning towards the door. “I shall be dunking myself in a well nearby.”
“Take Seokmin with you,” Seungkwan drawled, fixing his hair. “Maybe this time he will actually drown.”
“If I drown little man, I’m taking you with me,” the man snapped.
“Chan, dear, please sort them out,” you requested, hearing him sigh.
“I shall try my best, my lady,” he mumbled, knowing that his best efforts will be in vain.
As he began to leave, you called out his name. He looked back, and you smiled as you rocked Seungcheol in your arms. “You are his favourite, Chan.”
The revelation had his frown morphing into a small smile, bowing his head ever so slightly before turning to his centurions. “Let us give our general some privacy.”
Seokmin grumbled underneath his breath, following after Chan. “As if they had not had enough privacy…could have made another baby for all we know…”
Jihoon focused his gaze on Soonyoung and Seungkwan. “Remember. No fucking about or it’s 40 miles.”
The latter waved his hand, opening the door. “Yes, yes, we are aware.”
Soonyoung mocked a salute, adorning a most dramatic drawl. “Of course, your excellency, no doubt at all, your royal highness, please, do give us further idiotic orders to taunt us with, your magnanimous majesty!”
Jihoon’s glare did not waver. “Get out.”
“…right on, general.”
And so the last of the centurions were out, you standing at the door as they made to leave. Before they exited, though, they all simultaneously waved at you, some a bit too enthusiastically, others a soft gesture.
“Ave, _____! Ave, general!”
And they left, laughing already with plans to bring more merriment into their lives.
Your husband joined you, leaning against the opposite door frame. “I have a feeling they’re going to drag poor Chan into some brothel.”
“I think the boy would pass out before that would take place,” you said, chuckling as you glanced down at your child. “At least he takes care of Cheol well.”
“Does he?“
“…better than the average soldier, then.”
“At least they had fun yesterday.” Jihoon took a step closer, observing his son giggling at his mother’s entertainment. “Though they test my patience everyday, they deserve all the reward.”
“Do not exclude yourself, my love,” you reminded him. “You did not enslave yourself to your armies to disregard yourself like that.”
“I do not exclude myself.” His hand reached out, holding Seungcheol’s little head. How strange, that his entire head could fit in his palm. “I am simply happy with what I have right now.”
He offered you a smile. “I am more than happy with you and my son beside me. I ask for nothing more.”
You returned his smile, heart bursting at the seams as he leaned in, enveloping your lips with his in a sweet kiss.
And as the two of you played with your son in the morning light of the Roman sun, you snuck glances at your husband, the light of the Empire. The Eagle of Rome.
Finally, your home was now complete.
#seventeen imagines#lee jihoon imagines#seventeen smut#lee jihoon smut#woozi imagines#woozi smut#svt imagines#svt smut#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#lee jihoon x reader#woozi x reader#jihoon imagines#jihoon smut#jihoon x reader
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Then it would only be second to death.....
Hozier x fem!reader
Author's note: this shouldn't have taken me a month.
Masterlist
Summary: Following their chance run-in at the farmers market, Andrew shows up at Y/n's house. Part 2 of What if this is the last time I see you?
Warnings: Angst
“I’m right here,” he threads his fingers through his hair, “right here. We’re getting married, it doesn’t get any more present than that.”
Y/n scoffs, turning away from him, and Andrew knows that it’s because he’s brought her to tears – she hates when people see her crying. He hates making her cry. “Is that why we’re getting married?” Her voice breaks and she quickly swipes at her cheek, “so you can prove to yourself that you want to be here?”
“I want to be here,” when he takes a step towards her, Y/n takes one backwards and shifts her shoulder. He winces at the gesture, as if she’s actually pushed him away – though he supposes that in a way, she has. “I’m here –”
“You keep saying that but you’re not!” When she finally looks at him, her eyes are wide and glassy. He’s trying to think of the last time he heard her yell, but he quickly realizes that such a memory doesn’t exist. “You're at the studio, you’re in L.A….you’re on tour –”
“I'm working,” he grits.
“So am I. But I don’t forget that you exist when I do.” He’s irrationally offended by her comment; Andrew has never forgotten that she exists, he’s just been…..compartmentalizing. When he’s at work, he’ll work – when he’s with her, they’ll be together.
But when was the last time they’ve been together? When was the last time he’s taken her out or just sat down with her on the couch with her? Gone to bed the same time she has?
He can’t immediately remember – it must’ve been months ago.
But she should understand; that's what being with him means sometimes. It's not some well-kept secret, Y/n knows him – and he's the same person he was when they first met.
So he says that.
“You have always known who I am,” the minute the pointed words leave his mouth, Andrew regrets them and the only thing he wants more than to pluck them out of the tension-riddled air and shove back into his mouth. The look on her face is one he’s never seen her wear before, and it might be because she’s never been hurt that badly before.
The tears in her eyes. The quiver in her lips. The visible tightness in her throat. The way her cheeks suddenly seem hollow and it looks like she’s holding her breath.
“Right,” the word is broken up by a strain in her throat, “you’re right. You have much more important things going on. It was silly of me to assume that for once you’d put us first –”
“No,” he reaches out, but Y/n pulls away and grimaces, as if the thought of his touch is physically painful, “honey, that’s not what I meant,” he swears, breath is escaping him and he’s struggling to come up with the words that will fix things, “you’re misunderstanding –”
Again, Y/n brushes her face with the back of her hands, “no, I think, for the first time, I understand you perfectly,” he protests when she starts taking her ring off, but Y/n doesn’t seem to hear it – or particularly care. “I’ll come back for my things,” she says, slipping the little, emerald cut, Welsh gold ring into the breast pocket of his camel-coloured coat.
“Please don’t go,” he rasps, loosely gripping her shoulders, “please.”
“I just need to get away for a while,” Y/n offers softly, standing on her toes and holding onto her shoulder as she reaches to kiss him. He bends his head mechanically to allow her lips to meet his cheek. When she pulls away, it feels like he’s suffocating and while Andrew knows that going after her as she heads for the door has the potential to make all the difference, he can’t get his legs to move. The air is thin, his head is swimming and his legs feel like they're made of cement. So he does nothing but regret everything.
There’s so much he’d do differently, but Andrew thinks the thing that he’d change first is that moment when Y/n told him that it felt like there was an immeasurable distance between them. It was following a forgotten appointment with a wedding planner he’d meant to hire as part of an early wedding present but had neglected to, he hadn’t even realized he’d forgotten until he got home and found her on the sofa, coat and keys discarded on the coffee table and eyes red-rimmed. Andrew can’t quite remember what had made him forget, but in the moment it had seemed more important than their wedding – except now he’s forgotten all about it but the memory of her telling him that she’s lonely in their relationship, and that he feels light-years beyond reach is still fresh in his mind.
Unbridgeable – that was the exact word she’d used.
“I can’t get to you,” she says, the hazy blue film of such a bruising memory shrouds the glassiness of her eyes but barely hides the thick emotion in her throat, “I keep trying, hoping you'll let me get close. I want to be with you, be there for you but most of the time I can’t tell what you’re thinking — I'm not sure if you even want me around. Whatever’s between us its……unbridgeable.”
Unbridgeable.
It makes him think of oceans and gaping canyons. That unmeasurable distance between the deepest point of the sea and the barest end of space. Unreachable – was he really that bad?
So far away that for every time they kissed, Y/n felt like she was locking lips with a memory she never made?
It doesn’t matter though, because to her, it certainly felt that way.
Andrew is sitting in the driver's seat, glazed over eyes staring at the way rain beats down on his windshield. He’s been parked outside her house for longer than anything that would constitute a normal amount of time – though, he doesn’t exactly know where the threshold between normal and creepy ex-boyfriend is.
Well, ex-fiance. Though, he isn’t sure if semantics matter.
The gentle buzz of the engine is the only thing joining the swoosh of the near violent downpour. They haven’t experienced rain like that in a while; swollen droplets pouring from the milk sky in a slanted fashion. So intense that even the tallest trees seem to be weighed down by the weight of it, branches adopting a downward curve and leaves hanging despondently.
And still, it isn't the prospect of getting drenched on the brief walk to her front door that stops him from getting out of the car. It's the fear that he’s making a bigger mistake than he did five years ago that rivets him to the driver's seat, fingers still curved around the bottom of the wheel, the tips of his toes tapping the gas pedal as the car lingers in park.
She’s been more of a constant on his mind since that meeting at the farmers market a week ago, than she has been in the past few years. Still, Andrew wasn’t going to drive to her place that night, but somewhere between his first and second beer of the night, with a record that she gifted him playing as he tried to read – but couldn’t – it dawned on him; what if she was it?
Andrew hardly believes in true love or anything of the sort, but he does believe that every once in a while the stars align so perfectly that constellations are more visible and more beautiful than they’ve ever been, and you meet someone whose life changes the trajectory of yours forever. You're meant to be intertwined, like roots twisting and tangling around each other in that graceful, effortless way.
What if she's all of that to him, and much, much more, but he never sees her again? Because that was the last time; it must be some kind of death – to never feel her eyes on him again, to only ever hear her voice in his memory for the rest of his life, like a phantom haunting his mind. To never again feel the way it does when her arms go around him and she presses her body to his, and suddenly they’re nothing more than two puzzle pieces, made with each other in mind.
That little epiphany came over Andrew in a rush, knocking the air from his chest and making him feel as if he’d just been tackled by a wave and smashed face first into freezing cold water. In his chest, he felt a sort of panic that he could only associate with drowning rise up, threatening to spill out of his throat. He didn’t think he could live like that.
He still doesn't think that a life that she is gone from is survivable.
But as he parked along the curb near her driveway, one fear gives way to another;
What if Y/n doesn’t feel the same way at all? What if she doesn’t regret their untimely demise as much as he does? What if the best love he’s ever gotten nothing but a figment of the past? Lost forever, so far behind him that its entirely out of reach.
What if he does get out of his car, beats against the angle of the rain and trudges to her front door, only for her to tell him that she doesn’t want them anymore?
That she’d actually heard when he said he’d missed her, but pretended not to so she wouldn’t have to deal with the messiness of his feelings.
That might be the only thing worse than never seeing her again. And that is why he’s still in the car.
But he won’t know unless he tries, right? It isn’t the reasoning with the most integrity, but its the only thing keeping him there – he just wishes it was enough to get him out of the damn car.
Andrew is staring at a window, a window that he knows with absolute certainty looks into the living room, when he notices the thin, sheer curtain shift slightly. The movement doesn’t last long enough for him to determine who the person behind the window is, but when the front door swings open a handful of seconds later and Y/n steps into the middle of the doorway, Andrew spares himself from thinking too hard on the matter.
She’s holding her cardigan closed at the front, and it falls to the middle of her thighs, effectively hiding the shorts he knows she’s wearing underneath. By the silvery glow of the rainy evening and the sickening yellow hue of the bulb mounted over the porch, Andrew can see her form on the threshold, frozen, like something plucked out of his memories.
He can see her again, one leg crossed over the other as she leans on the doorframe as she watches him playing the piano;
“That sounds nice, its new?”
“Yeah,” he sighs, lifting his fingers off the keys and turning to look at her, “like it?”
Y/n hums, pushing off the frame and sauntering over to him, feet bare and dressed in nothing but the crewneck he’d been wearing the evening before. When her fingers, delicate and gentle, clasp his broad shoulders, Andrew leans into her touch, allowing her to eventually slink them forward. “I love it, its so beautiful,” with her fingers splayed on his chest, Y/n bends so her chin sits on his shoulder, “would you teach me how to play it?”
He chuckles. In all the years they’ve known each other, Y/n has never been interested in learning to play an instrument – she always jokes about being tone deaf. “You sure?”
“Positive,” her lips on his cheek are quick, he almost misses the sensation before fully registering it and if it weren't for the resolve in her eyes, Andrew would pull her in for another, longer kiss.
“Alright,” he reaches for her hand, encouraging her to slip it off his shoulder before guiding her around the small, varnished, oak bench. Y/n goes to sit beside him, but Andrew’s hand on her hip, sneaked under the hem of the thick jumper, urges her onto his lap. “This is better,” he rasps, breath tickling her jaw as he presses his cheek to hers, the bristle of his beard on her skin making her giggle.
“This is how you’d teach somebody?” She laughs, and the sound, coupled with the way she leans against him, makes his chest feel full.
“This is how I’d teach you, sweetheart.” When Y/n angles her head to catch a glimpse of him, he can see the warmth in her cheeks, and takes the opportunity to steal a peck off her lips, “now, pay attention.”
Her hands are much smaller than his, making it easy for him to completely cover them with his long fingers. “I’m gonna show you,” he breathes, “and then you’ll try on your own.” Slowly, he guides her through a single line of the melody he’d been working on. “Do you understand?” He props his chin on her shoulder, leaning his head against hers. He loves having Y/n this close, he isn’t sure if he’s ever told her but there’s something about the weight of her on top of him that stirs a sensation that he’s never felt anywhere else. Maybe its peace or comfort or safety – maybe its some combination of all three, wrapped into one magical thing.
“No,” Y/n returns, tone flat, albeit just as hushed as his.
Andrew barks a chuckle that turns out louder than he expected it to be. “You’re not paying attention,” he reprimands gently.
“I’m trying,” Y/n defends, voice pitched, “but my teacher is…….distractingly close.”
“Don’t blame this on me,” he scoffs, wrapping his arms around her middle, squeezing her to him. Her shoulders shake in a fit of laughter as he peppers her neck in a series of ticklish kisses as he loses himself in the way the cologne still clinging to his jumper mingles with the remnants of lavender left behind by her body wash.
“I’m not gonna learn to play this, am I?” Y/n shifts when he pulls away for a brief moment. Her head is tilted a little, mouth barely a hair away from his and the barest tips of their noses are touching.
Lifting one of his hands to thread his fingers threaded through her hair, Andrew eagerly closes the sliver of distance, “not today you’re not.”
A crack of thunder jolts Andrew out of the memory and in an instant, he’s back in the confines of his car, gaze fixed on Y/n as she lingers in the doorway. He needs to get out of that damn car – that prison that's kept him from her long before she pointed it out.
On impulse, he hastily shuts the engine off, and pushes the door open. Within a minute of getting out and shutting the door, Andrew’s coat and the sweater he’s wearing under it is soaked through and his hair is matted to the sides of his face. His shoes hit the gently sloped driveway with a wet, squishing sound with each step as he trudges towards the front door.
“Andrew, what the fuck?" Y/n breathes when he stops at the bottom of the porch steps.
He shrugs, stuffing his hands into his pockets. The rain is still pounding against his back and head, but he doesn’t dare take another step forward. “I had to see you,” he explains simply. Roughly, he brushes some wet hair away from his brow, “I just-I can't…..I can’t live like that –”
“Andy –”
“No,” he cuts her off desperately, “I know you don’t want me here,” he licks his lips, “but you need to hear this – I need you to hear this,” he pauses, but not near long enough for her to get a word in. “I just….I was thinking….what if that was the last time we saw each other? Could you live like that? Cause I couldn’t. Not without looking for you everywhere I go; every bookstore, at the grocery, every street. At the fucking farmer’s market,” where he’ll linger at every vendor selling strawberries on the off chance of running into her. “Just everywhere,” in every reflection when he pauses to look at a storefront and on planes that take him to places she wouldn’t go without plausible reason, “But I’d never find you because that was the last time.” Swallowing thickly, he ducks his head and wet tendrils fall over his face, disrupting his view of their feet, his clad in water-logged converse, and hers bare with blue, painted nails. “I know you said that I’m good on my own, and I guess I used to be,” Andrew slumps his shoulders, “but I’m not anymore. And I’ll never be again –”
“Andy –”
“Please,” finally, he comes up the trio of steps that leads to her small, covered porch. “I’m different now.”
Y/n slumps her shoulders, tilting her head slightly to the side as she blinks away tears, “I was just gonna tell you to come inside,” she says softly when he stops, “you’re gonna catch a cold or something,” there’s a crack in her voice and Y/n scoffs when a lone tear creeps down her cheek. She doesn’t even want to think of him getting sick on her account, especially when he’ll probably be all alone and miserable. She thinks about that sometimes – who’s taking care of him when he forgets to take care of himself?
With the back of her sleeve, Y/n brushes at her cheek before reaching for one of his hands. “I never wanted you to be….different. I wanted…..I wanted you to be who you are….but right next to me,” her thumb grazes his knuckles and Andrew revels in a miniscule shred of contact. It's nothing compared to having her in his lap or her arms around his shoulders, but it's more than he’s had in a damn long time and he’s never been more grateful for anything else.
“I can do that now,” Andrew promises earnestly.
Sighing heavily, she glances away, “but I don’t know that. I won’t live like that again,” so haunted by something she almost has, but never truly will. The ‘almost’ that he became. Almost close enough to let her in, almost ready to let his guard down, almost her husband.
“You won't have to,” Andrew gives her hand a promising squeeze, “I swear. I swear to you, it’ll be different –”
“But I don’t –”
“I can’t live like this,” he urges, “I can’t….” Andrew shakes his urgently, “do you still love me?”
Y/n’s slumps her shoulders, “of course I do.” How could she not? After pouring so many years into their relationship, after years aching to break the wall he kept between them. After spending every minute since the one she took the ring off – the one that makes her hand feel like it's missing something even now – thinking about what they could have been. Really, dare he ask her that?
“Then how could you never want to see me again?” He asks desperately.
A sharp inhale is her initial response, and Y/n thinks back on those first moments after Andrew had approached her the week before – the relief she felt in seeing him, the way that when they hugged, it felt like something was finally going right in her life. There’s so much she’d kept to herself that day, mostly because she was so sure that he was over her and couldn’t possibly still be thinking of them, not the way she does. Everyday when she steeps tea that she doesn’t really like, or goes out into her garden but can’t think straight, because it was something they'd done together.
Its why she let the strawberry bushes die, and weeds overtake the flowers along the back fence before clearing them out.
“I could never want that,” Y/n finally manages, voice soft and fragile, “I think about you all the time.” The strawberries have been rotting in her fridge because she can barely stand to look at them without recalling what it felt like to slip that ring into his pocket.
The warmth the metal had soaked up from being on her finger, the crack in his voice when he said, “honey, please.”
“Then come back,” he rasps, letting go of her hand in favor of taking a gentle hold on her hips.
Y/n’s find his chest, fistfuls of his wet hoodie bunching up in her fingers, the fabric heavy and cold. “Don’t hurt me again,” she pleads softly, inching closer.
Andrew lifts one of his hands from her hip to cup her cheek, his long fingers dwarfing the side of her face, “I wouldn’t.” He roves his thumb over the apple of her cheek, and his breathing settles a little. He hadn't realized just how on-edge he’d felt since she left until right now, when he’s touching her again and it feels like the first inkling of peace he’s had in five years. “I don’t want us to be strangers,” Andrew adds.
“Just let me in then,” Y/n encourages in the same, hushed tone.
Swallowing thickly, he nods, “I will. I want to,” lowering his head, Andrew presses his forehead to hers. “You’re the only person I want this close – for my whole life, I just want it to be you.”
When their lips meet, he feels her shudder just as a shiver runs up his back. It isn't from the cold, or the uncomfortable way in which the fabric is sticking to his skin. It's from the realization that there's never been a homecoming quite like this one. There isn't anything that compares to this; it's like having some lost part of himself snap back into its rightful place.
“Please,” he rasps against the plush softness of her lips, “please let it be you.”
Whatever little resolve she's managed to build up over the years, the scraps that kept her from seeking him out after she walked out, has been entirely ebbed away. Staying away is easier when he isn't at her doorstep, offering her exactly what she's wanted for so long. “Always,” with one hand flattened against the center of his chest, she reaches up to brush away some wet hair matted to his damp brow. “It’ll always be me,” she promises earnestly;
No one can love him the way she does anyway, its a fact that Y/n is entirely certain of.
When she presses her lips to his again, the rain is still coming down around them, though while the sound has been suffocating, Andrew finds that its fading now – all the noises that seem to make the world a little unbearable is so much quieter, and he thinks it might be the universe’s way of telling him that this is the way things are meant to be.
******
Tagging: @tungledotfuck
#hozier#andrew hozier byrne#hozier x reader#hozier x you#hozier x y/n#hozier fanfiction#fanficton#fanfic#what if this is the last time I see you?#then it would only be second to death
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what are some of your favorite megan thee stallion songs if you can pick? im so obsessed with her music
its refreshing to have someone on this site that actually likes rap
i was a HUUUGE fan of MEGAN, as it touched on a lot of dorky stuff that I liked, while also being really, like, loving and appreciative of femininity, both in how Megan expresses it and in how she appreciates it in others. Otaku Hot Girl is probably my favorite, but Mamushi, Where Them Girls At, and HISS were also exceptional tracks. also, this is the album that cemented Megan as the current queen of hip hop. like, the production on that one was insane.
im also a big fan of Tina Snow's stuff. Hot Girl and Tina Montana comes to mind.
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Lanolin watched Sonic, Belle and Kit enter, with Sonic leaning against a wall, and Kit finding a place to sit. She rubbed the back of her neck looking to Blaze with unsure eyes. It stood to reason that GUN had its network of spies. Two people knew all about Belle outside of the people who worked here. It was easy to assume Rouge and Shadow had given all kinds of reports to GUN though she liked to believe Rouge wouldn't have given those kinds of details.
" It could have been anyone, Both shadow and rouge work for GUN and had full access to this information. But even if we say they wouldn't do that--- plenty of volunteers come and go through the workshop. Any one of them could have overheard her, or us talk about it. Or they could have gained information from the eggnet itself... how isn't important right now. The fact is they know and she's on there radar... honestly this was bound to happen eventually. I think we all knew that... "
Sonic looked at Belle flexing his hands with that anger flashing across his face again. He wasn't gonna let anyone get to Belle, and he'd die before he let them take her. But Belle was right running from GUN was probably the last thing she wanted. This was a mess and worse, it wasn't the kind of mess he could punch away. Eggman was easy to deal with but GUN? Politics sucked! But his eyes went to Kitsunami and he couldn't help but worry how he'd react to Surge's plans, damn how was he gonna do this? His eyes shifted to Rowan as he came back and he smiled!
" Hah! well ring tail! you are doing better then most! you wouldn't believe how many can't hold it down! so kudos to you! "
His thoughts broke as Miles finally made his way up stairs, and Sonic and he shared a fist Bump. At least his mood seemed 10 shades brighter as if the fox mellowed him out. His eyes turned to Lanolin as she got everyones attention now that Miles was there.
" Alright... guess that is everyone but Surge--- Here is the situation! The United Federation of Nations president has personally spoke with me. He's made his stance clear... he sees Restoration as a rogue element... it was fine at first they even commended our work. But taking in Surge, Kitsunami, and Belle seemed to set of red flags. Clutch's deception only cemented there stance... "
" The President ants to shut us down until a full investigation can be performed. It's likely he intends to arrest Surge, and Kitsunami... i can't say what his intent with Belle is yet. The point is... if we fight back we become enemies of the the free world... enemies of gun and we prove them right! I don't trust them either... i doubt Amy would... I think we have to play there game... I don't see another way out of this that doesn't get people killed and our donations cut for good... "
She sighed and rubbed her own cheek looking at Belle and Kit specifically.
" Belle, Kitsunami and Surge i get it if you want to cut and run... i won't stop you. But this ... this is the only choice we have to keep our work going... no matter what i feel about you both, and i've come to see you as friends. I have to look out for the well being of the organization... our work is to important... i hope you understand..."
Sonic let out a deep breath through his nose, he somehow ventured this was the outcome. He hated every word Lanolin said! She was just gonna give up like that? and what let them come in and shut it all down! or worse take control? this was bullshit!
" Oh come on Lanolin you can't be serious! Those guys will make up what ever story they want! just let surge and i kick there butts! and send them packing! "
" No Sonic, she's right... Restoration relies heavily on donations and volunteers. If the United Federation of Nations declares us an enemy of the state or terrorists. We'd lose all funding, and worse people would be to afraid to help out. If we fight we lose, if they come in we still lose but at least there is a chance to fight it in court, or argue our side of things... logically speaking its a risky move but... if we fight we defiantly lose..."
Miles looked over at Belle with a sad look
" It might also be a chance for Belle to finally argue her case to the people and be accepted as a citizen... but, they could also dismantle her or lump her in with eggman. This is a big risk for all parties... especially surge, Kitsunami and belle... they have a tough choice to make..."
" Well, we chaotix have always remained free lance--- but ifin' they do come in and investigate. We can do our own investigation... least have our own evidence to use against them... but as someone who grew up in the hood--- If they gots the right judge you ain't ever gonna win that case... you all sure you wanna go down that road? "
" I know this is bad but ... unless anyone has better plan... i'm out of options... and the clock is ticking. I don't want anyone hurt... we all came together to fight eggman, not the goverment. I just--- i'm open to ideas... its why i called you here... "
"Though from what I know you concealed Belle's creator besides a select few, and I believe given how different her design is only someone used to fighting Badniks could put together who she was made by. In that sense, the mole either has to be one of the volunteer soldiers that's been here a while, or someone in the inner circle." Blaze was more concerned why go after Belle. She's never been seen with Eggman, or his forces. As far as they're concerned she's just an advanced robot living her life.
"I have doubts they'd take it that far, if only because did warn Lupus that attack me is like declaring war against the Sol Empire." It was a scare tactic, though an effective one as she was sure he mentioned it to the president. "If we have too I can simply move Belle, Surge, and Kitsunami to the Sol Dimension and bring them back some place else."
"I don't think Surge or Kitsunami would like that idea very much. I'm not opposed to it, even if I don't want to runway and stand my ground I'm sure that'd be a good idea. Though perhaps convincing them to leave me alone would be better in the long run." Belle was only offering her ideas as she entered the room right after Sonic. The tinkerer didn't want GUN breathing down her neck for the rest of her life.
Rowan would walk back in, looking a bit annoyed. "You know, you could've just asked me to leave for a second to talk to her. I've never moved at high speeds and nearly threw up my lunch." The lemur guessed he was being pushy, though was also trying not to come off too strong. Guess he needs to work on that a bit more, though there are certainly a lot of people her now.
A moment later Kitsunami would walk in, not saying a word to anyone before finding a chair and sitting down. The fennec never expected Surge to be here, sure she was out by the check point as a warning for GUN not to try anything. The tenrec wants him to keep the inside of the base safe so that's what he's going to do. Only intending to assist her if she calls him.
#Unit Commander#Lanolin#Blue Streak Speeds By#Sonic#All Grown up and Ready to Fly#Tails#The Karma Collector#Vector#Gears and Starters#Belle#Sorrowful Storm#Kitsunami#The Cool Uncle#Rowan
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Light It Up, Fox!
I think reunion square has to be one of the saddest members from the Warriors concept album and it gets set of every time I listen to it.
I think a big reason for that is that this song really does cement that Fox truly is the youngest of the group (I'm going to as soon as Fox is anywhere between 15 to 18 years old)
In the beginning of the song after she and the others escape the Bizzes she says " God, half of us are gone" and she later lashes out at Victor after he cat calls the Warriors.
What I find really interesting about her rant is that it shows that Fox (presumably out of every Warrior besides Cleon) has truly taken Cyrus's word to heart as she assertively points out that Victor and his ilk are the reason they've had to suffer not only here but throughout life.
She asks why can't they go back home and has eternalized herself as the "Quiet Girl" that isn't gonna make it.
What's cool though is that she flipped this on her head and ends ups truly realizing what the Hurricanes were actually was trying to say.
When you're stuck in the darkness you have to do your own life sometimes not just for you but for the others in your life that may not be able to burn as bright.
This realization causes Fox to LEAP into action realizing that if Victor calls his boys they'll be able to stop stop the train and potentially arrest/kill the Warriors.
Something of note here is that this song takes cues from The World was Wide Enough where we see Fox's life flash through her eyes.
Queens- You can do 99 things right,but meet the wrong Cop at night and it's braapt on site ya dig?
Manhattan- survival all depends upon the corner you run to.
Ajax- I'm sick of running
Warriors- Only the strong survive
Ajax and Rembrandt- Anybody tussle with these hands they'll see static
The battle between Fox and Vic is brutal and he beats her so badly that she breaks something and starts bleeding.
Another thing that I noticed after some repeated listening is that it seems that out of all of the Warriors, Fox seems to look up to Swan and Ajax the most (Rembrandt too apparently).
She laments that Swan could have taken Victor out but she's not her and not too long after that the cop puts his foot on her throat and kicks her into the incoming train.
I think what's beautiful about this tragic moment is that Fox ends up embodying the other sentiment of Quiet Girls and ends up becoming an arc of light both literally and metaphor.
It's actually quite a clever nod to me that Fox herself it's played by an Asian actress ( Pippa Soo) because been Chinese, Japanese, and Korean mythology there is a creature known as the Kitsune.
Kitsune are basically Divine foxes that more often than not typically take the form of females to live amongst humans.
They act as a guide to the afterlife and use something called foxfires to communicate with others throughout the night.
Fox being the one to truly embrace what the Hurricanes tried to tell the Warriors and becoming the light that guided her friends home through her demise is quite a common trope with kitsune, especially if they bonded with a human.
I just think it's a really cool way to not only lift a sort of nothing character from the original on the bed but also make them stand on their own.
#warriors musical#eisa davis#warriors concept album#kitsune#Yayy for thematic elements and Japanese mythology
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Any thoughts on Terry being truly scared that he could have lost Daniel (supposing that Daniel was stabbed instead) and he goes to the hospital while Daniel recovers. Danny is surprised at how…soft and gentle Terry is with him, treating him like glass, and realizes that Terry was terrified of losing him.
I’ll try to answer this without having the fill by @thereminwriting influence me too much but I am going to take the idea of Terry being the one who saved him because it adds another layer of 🌶️ to the whole fucked up situation. There may be some overlap with Mercy but, with Silverusso there always is, as the themes with them are always the same.
Link below for her take - a suggestion to read it as it’s brilliant! It will live rent free.
What this ask inspired, while I feel hits some points made in the ask it may ultimately fail to hit the mark for exactly what you were looking for.
“You think you’d be grateful, is all,” Terry says, picking at some imaginary lint on the bed, which is not there. They both know that. The place is pristine, more high end hotel than hospital. The thread count on the bedsheets has to be higher than what he has at home, and he is an admitted snob when it comes to his night time comforts.
“Gratitude?” Daniel says slowly, like he’s both processing what Terry said and also surprised he’d even say it.
If it wasn’t for the dull ache in his side, the way he can feel the stitches and staples pull when he moves he’d do something stupid. As it were though.
“Gratitude, gratitude,” his voice rising, and then suddenly Daniel just deflates, that little bit of anger burning through the little energy he has built up.
That scared Terry more than anything. His boy’s fire was always so bright, so warm to bask in, so strong and big, despite the small frame it lived inside. That was why it came out so often, too big for it’s confines, never truly able to be contained at all times.
A fire that drew Terry to it like a moth to a flame, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it’s seductive allure. Helpless in the knowledge that like the moth stunned and destroyed by the light it sought, he too would die by it’s heat.
He could’ve think of a better way to go though.
Softly, “it’s just another cage, Terry.”
“Never pegged you as the religious type,” Terry says after a few long moments.
He’s not, not really. He goes through the rituals of it - mass on Christmas Eve - stopping only when his kids got older and Amanda admitted she was only going for him, and he had to admit he really didn’t know why he did, except that he did when he was a kid.
Daniel looks at the keychain’s pendant in his hand, the keychain having been ripped off and stretched to pick the lock of the cage, and he hadn’t even realized, at the time when he bought it what it was, he had simply handed the kid over some money.
He only kept it because he considered it a lucky charm of sorts considering, what it saved him from - that belief was cemented by the fact it was in the pockets of the leggings he wore under his GI when this happened.
A coincidence, he’s sure, but still, he thinks he needs all the help he can get. He’s probably in the most danger right now, after all.
It had been placed on the bedside table, and it was one of the first things he saw when he woke, and when he groggily reached for it, Terry had stilled him, telling him not to move, placing it the palm of his hand.
Here now, he turns it over in his hand.
Even you can’t save me now, Daniel thinks.
Sitting in a hospital paid for by Terry - his life forfeit it wasn’t for Terry.
His life forfeit all the same.
All the same.
More like delayed, all things considered.
Because now he owes Terry.
He owes Terry a debt he cannot possibly repay.
He wonders how Terry will try to collect; what he stands to gain.
“I must say, I was surprised to learn of your skills.”
“I’m from jersey,” Daniel answers absently. “Of course I know how to pick locks.”
Terry chuckles but then the doctor comes in and like always, Daniel is not made privy to the decisions. Everything in Terry’s hands which, as much as he hates that, they have proved to be quite capable.
He’s alive because of them.
——————————
When a few weeks have passed, he finally gathers the courage to watch the video, and for the first time he sees Terry, how he was saved, how calm Terry was, how efficient, how …. Not what Daniel expected.
He doesn’t know what to feel, not only about watching himself get hurt but about Terry. The feed had cut rather quickly all the same. He doesn’t know why, but he hits replay.
Terry comes in, and freezes, grabbing the tablet from Daniel, shattering it against the wall. A nurse rushes in, and Terry barks something to her as he strides out, and after she cleans the mess, she injects something into his IV bag. He doesn’t bother asking, they never tell him.
Terry finally reappears as the drugs settle through him. Daniel can feel them as they move through his blood, dulling everything further, the pain never truly gone, leaving behind heavy limbs and bad coordination, but a sense of peace even as he feels the bed dip and Terry’s side press flush to his. Daniel goes slack against the older man, his weight fully pressed against him until Terry is the very thing holding him up.
Terry puts Daniel’s hand in his, the only apology he’ll get for the outburst, the thumb rubbing the skin.
“My team will have it removed,” Terry explains, like they do anytime a new one pops up, and although Terry knows he can’t get rid of it entirely, it helps. Having something he can control.
Daniel, after all, makes him feel so out of control.
Daniel, after all, had never made him feel so scared.
All the blood that was already arising the Matt by the time Terry got to him, and it had only taken moments.
The knife - Kreese’s knife - embedded deep - and the white of Daniel’s skin as more blood appeared, watching life drain out of him right before his eyes.
Something that only hit Terry after. Terry only allowing it to hit him after, needing to, in that moment, focus on saving Daniel.
Not willing to accept anything else.
You can lose something you never really had.
But Daniel will be now. Something he has. Finally. And Terry will be damned if he’ll lose it.
———————————
“I can’t believe you put me in a dog cage,” Daniel grumbles as he eats his steak and buttered lobster.
Well he can, but a part of him can’t - won’t - examine it too closely. The same coping mechanism he’s been using when it comes to Terry for thirty years now. It mostly proves successful,
“Danny,” he starts.
“Thought that would, what? Make me submit? Like before.”
A deep sigh, and really Terry has no right sound that put upon.
He wasn’t the one locked in a dog cage.
“Of course you would see it like that.” Both exasperated yet fond.
“How should I see it?!”
At first you would think humiliation, and Terry’s attempt to install fear in Daniel - the same fear Terry felt but, that wasn’t it - not at all.
Nothing could be further for the truth.
It was protection.
Cages keep things in, but they also keep them out.
They keep things safe.
They keep them from leaving.
He actually hadn’t wanted Daniel to wake up until reaching the desired destination.
“I fear cages,” Terry starts but stops, not sure what to say, off kilter in a way only Daniel manages to do to him.
“Why do you fear cages?”
The story pours out, and Daniel sits, stunned.
He had no idea. At all.
Terry’s loyalty to Kreese makes so much sense now. As does their falling out. Which has hardened into hate since the accident.
Part of Terry blames Kreese.
It was his knife after all.
“He always tries to destroy the good things in my life.”
It not only makes sense but Daniel realizes, with a clarity he wouldn’t before, as he too carries that same burden now. Carries the same mixed feelings about being indebted to someone you do not wish to be indebted to.
An understanding, a part of him connected to Terry.
A part of himself that will never belong to him again.
———————————-
He protested in the beginning, Terry helping him change, but now he doesn’t; there would be no point.
He winces, the scar twisting, so new it’s still more deep purple, the skin too tight from where he was sewed and stitched back together.
Terry frowns, his hand touching it, and Daniel flinches; he can’t help it. Even he doesn’t even like touching it himself
It feels wrong - foreign. It feels like a change he didn’t want but will have no choice but to accept.
Isn’t that Terry whoever he comes into Daniel’s life.
It feels like the situation he finds himself in.
It looks ugly, even if he knows in time it will fade to pink and then further still until it’s faded to the point that it nearly matches his skin
He knows he should be grateful to be alive, to be here, even if here is with Terry.
He knows all of this but still, he will carry a piece of this always.
He carrie enough of Terry around with him - he has for thirty years.
The older man’s fingers are so damm gentle as they trace the new skin forming, solidifying into something permanent.
Everything about Terry has been so damm gentle.
All his touches, all the looks directed at Daniel, even when Terry thinks Daniel isn’t paying attention.
Terry helps him into his shirt.
————————————-
“Why?” Daniel asks when he finally gathers the courage. The thing that took him the longest to do.
“I wasn’t about to let you die, Daniel,” Terry nearly scoffs. “I’m not that much of ….”
“I know,” Daniel interrupts.
And he does. Truly. Terry is a Bond villain, and like all Bond villains, he lives to monologue and come up with elaborate plots, plots he knows, deep down, won’t work.
Just like they know Bond will walk away each time, that they want him to, so does Terry.
Because If you really want someone gone, it’s not hard. Simple is best.
If you truly want to win, that is.
But the winning isn’t the point. The end isn’t the point, because it’s not even a journey.
It’s a game, and it’s the fun in playing the game.
But when you take out the opponent, and you win the game, oh how you stop having fun.
Because the opponent was what you actually wanted all along, this game, was the only way to get that.
Something almost ruined this ages old ritual, something the villain hadn’t planned himself, hadn’t even accounted for.
“Why all this?” Daniel gestures around. It certainly is above and beyond. Putting aside the part Daniel can never hope to possibly repay, can’t even begin to, the money alone Terry has spent is astronomical, and shows no signs of stopping. The money Terry has assured Daniel he does not want, nor does he seem to even care about.
They stare at each other.
“I think you know,” is all Terry says, and it’s not cryptic, not at all.
Because Daniel thinks he does too.
Daniel thinks, he always did.
—————-
The plastic surgeon is flown in.
Daniel is fine with the scar.
It’s Terry that hates it.
It reminds him of too much.
The overwhelming fear in the days after, the unbridled anger at it even happening. Something Terry has been felt before.
How he had failed.
How he had almost lost something, that while never was his, was something he had never wanted more.
How he would have lost everything all the same, had Daniel not pulled through.
No.
No part of his boy is to be reminded of this.
No part of him will be marked by any man but Terry.
If his body is to change now, to open and accept anything inside, to be split open, to bleed, it will be by Terry’s doing.
And it will be by pleasure and not pain.
——————————————
The night he wakes to Terry sitting in the side of the hospital bed, everything dark expect for the light of the moon filtering in through the near floor to ceiling windows, is the night he really sees.
The older man’s back is to him, and although everything is silent, eerily so, he can tell Terry is crying.
Daniel sits up, hand holding onto his side, where he thinks it will always twinge slightly, although it’s more a habit now than a need, and the fact that Terry doesn’t turn to him, doesn’t hone in on the fact he’s awake and moving adds to the wrongness of this whole thing.
He gently and slowly lays a hand on the older man’s shoulder, not wanting to spoke him, he’s clearly out of it, and in an even softer tone, the ones he’d use on his kids when they were younger and upset, he asked, “Terry?”
Daniel expects the older man to get up, leave, but instead a large hand comes up and covers him.
They say nothing, but then Terry’s hand squeezes his, and in a broken voice finally speaks.
“I could have lost you.”
Terry made a mistake.
A mistake he can’t fix. - not now. Because he’s in too deep, because he loves Daniel.
And this, this was never the plan, all those years ago. To fall for the boy …. to fall again for the man the boy became.
Because when you love something, you now have something that can destroy you.
Destroy you without even meaning too.
Daniel would have destroyed him, without even trying.
Destroyed Terry in away that he would not have been able to rebuild himself from.
Even a phoenix eventually loses its will to rise again.
A world with Daniel is not one Terry wishes to be in. He tried, for thirty years, and it was no life at all. It certainly wasn’t living.
He got it back though, that feeling of being alive, but oh, what he traded for it. Because now he has this fear, heavy on his chest.
This fear of losing something you cannot replace.
When he looks down, sometimes he can still see the blood on his hands.
“You didn’t though.”
Daniel kneels, his chest to Terry’s back, his head on his shoulder, thin arms wrapped around the older man.
“You saved me.”
He had.
Terry had battled death with his bare hands for Daniel and won. But one day, one day …..
“We saved each other,” is all Terry says, focusing on that to stave off the panic.
“Let’s focus on that,” Daniel says, nuzzling his cheek into his shoulder. Terry can feel the warmth of his breaths gaunt his neck.
Plastered against his back, Daniel moves with Terry almost, to the feel the rise and fall of Terry’s breathing. Terry can feel the beat of Daniel’s heart, they’re pressed so tight.
Concentrating on that. On the moment. On what he can control in the here and now.
The dread subsides, for now, even if Terry knows it has simply retreated.
The moonlight shines down on them, this moment in time, and they stay like that until the sun chases it away, illuminating the sins instead.
———————-
“Oh god,” a breathy little moan, as Terry’s cock slides home, opening Daniel to him.
Four fingers, four of Terry’s thick fingers, and his mouth, had put the time in to get Daniel here like this, body open enough to accept the older man inside him; to accept his love.
Like a virgin on a mound, about to be offered up as sacrifice, this is how he will repay Terry.
Daniel arches up, legs squeezing tighter to the older man’s sides as his eyes squeeze shut, blunt fingernails drawing down a broad pale back.
They’ll both bleed for this tonight.
They’ll always bleed for each other.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” Terry groans, and Daniel kisses him, only because he can’t handle much more.
He can’t handle Terry here inside him like this - how good it feels - how right it feels - and hear the raw truth in Terry’s voice.
He can’t.
His body is already the temple Terry is about to worship at - to ruin and rebuild - his body the vessel for this offering of his.
He knows his heart and soul will follow suit. If he was being honest with himself, something he seldom is, they already have.
The older man will accept nothing else. Daniel finds he wants nothing else.
Hands roaming, touching warm sweat slick skin, sharing the air moving between them.
The older man so damn gentle as he keeps sliding in.
Daniel finding within himself, to somehow open more and more, until Terry’s cock is all the way in, both men joined as one.
Terry carving a spot for himself that only he will be able to fill.
Hips snapping in, the wet noises of their coupling, the pin pricks of pleasure when the older man’s cock brushes his prostate, the sharp grin, like a shark sensing blood in the water as Terry concentrates on hitting that spot.
Hands pins above his head, Daniel opening his eyes at the older man’s command, Terry staring down.
“I love you. So much, Danny. So damm much,” he groans, rocking in, burying his face into the smaller man’s neck.
The slapping noise of skin on skin as he’s taken, as Terry chases his release, both of their releases, in each other.
Hands grab slim hips, feeling the bone under his palm, fingers digging in, greedy and covetous, but Daniel can feel the love even if he can also feel the bruises it is leaving.
Love with teeth, it suits them.
Always did.
And a love that leaves marks from those teeth, stained red with blood.
A love that is visible - a mixture of pleasure and pain, sometimes in equal measure.
That is them.
“Oh,” he sobs out as he comes in the space between them, not even a hand on his cock needed.
The clenching of his body, already a tight and perfect fit around Terry’s cock, is the older man’s undoing, and his hand grasps the smaller man’s side, covering the now barely visible scar, as empties himself inside the smaller body.
Daniel’s legs fall off his sides, splayed open obscenely as Terry fills and fills and fills him. He moans softly at the sensation of Terry’s come inside him, which doesn’t seem to be stopping, the warming blooming through him as his hips keep gently fucking in, making sure it’s as deep as it can go, making sure Daniel is even more full than he thought possible.
Finally finished, Terry collapses on top of Daniel, careful as he does though. He’s always careful with his boy, even if sometimes it’s his own personal brand of it.
He doesn’t bother to pull out, loathe to leave Daniel’s body until he absolutely has to, even if he is eager to see the mess he’s left his boy in.
There is always later for that.
They have that luxury of later now.
Who would have thought that here, of all places, a second, third, and fourth chance.
Terry’s lost count.
As many as they need to get it right.
Terry will see to that.
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Back with more White Diamond x Sentinel Prime crackship nonsense baby!!!
Ever since I first thought about these goobers, I haven't known a single day of peace (mostly cause the ideas are just racking around in my brain)
So here's a list of headcanons I came up with for Prime Diamond! If you have any questions regarding this ship, my ask box is open. Double if you have any thoughts or anything to add, go on ahead! I hope y'all enjoy!
I may make a part 2 when I come up with more lol
For this relationship to even be possible (as possible as a crackship between two characters from completely different franchises can be), it will have to take place Post-Steven Universe Finale/Future when White Diamond is in her therapy, self-help guru era. And when Sentinel Prime is... alive.
Also, I have been trying to do research regarding this but since the results are so inconsistent, I'm gonna assume White Diamond is around 80 to 90 ft tall and Sentinel is around 60 (based on how he's double Orion Pax's height and apparently TF One Orion is around 33 ft tall). If you know their actual canonical heights or anything close to that, please lemme know!
As mentioned in a reblog, White Diamond would take an interest in Sentinel Prime as a sort of little DIY project. Though he tries to hide it, White with her supernatural intuitiveness can tell there's more to him than meets the eye (he's an asshole). Having been inspired by Steven to see the worth and beauty in imperfections, she wants to give someone like Sentinel a chance like Steven did for her. Though she is making genuine strides to improve upon her previous controlling and obsessive behavior regarding perfection, this aspect of her will resurface in her attempts "fix" Sentinel while in a relationship with him. She adores and finds much interest in his "positive imperfections," but helping him improve on his more negative ones wouldn't hurt, right?
Other reasons she developed an attraction to him is for the same reason all the Sentinel fangirls did: he's just so... pathetic. When he tries to impress her with stories of battles he's never fought in and gives her a tour of his treasure room full of artifacts he didn't discover, she can tell he's trying way too hard to impress her. She finds this cute and charming rather than douchey and desperate.
Sentinel Prime pursued her because, as stated in a previous reblog, "his diva ass was always going to try and seek out a gem fit for a king." He laid his eyes on an 80-90 ft giant alien rock woman and thought,"I need her." As any sane person would. She was supposed to be nothing more than another symbol of wealth for him to show off to the other elites and officials of Iacon City to further cement the royal image he works so hard to maintain. He definitely underestimated how overwhelming White Diamond can be, and I am not just referring to her height.
Sentinel would rather have his spark be extinguished than admit to this, but his stabilizing servos get wobbly at the idea of his alien girlfriend being so much taller than he is. His pride would never admit to this, nor would it accept someone taller than him accompanying him. He believes that as a "Prime," he is supposed to be much taller, bigger, and more imposing than those around him.
Whenever they make a public appearance, Sentinel insists that White shrink herself to a height more tolerable for his fragile ego. He bullshits an excuse about their buildings not being designed for a being as tall as she is. White obliges, but given how Iacon was built when the previous actual Primes were all gigantic and alive, she quickly figures his lie and confronts him about it. He'd just lie again and say he didn't want the other Cybertronians to be intimidated... by her beauty. Clearly, it's not because of some Napolean complex or something. Still, White is in her patience era, so she takes the compliment for what it is.
The "guy who doesn't like speeches" vs. "professional yapper" isn't a joke. Sentinel can't stand how much White Diamond loves to yap. She's the kind of person to have thoughts and opinions about anything and everything. Given that she doesn't breathe, she doesn't even need to catch her breath in the middle of speaking, so she can go on and on and on, much to Sentinel's annoyance.
He tries to get her to quiet down at times, but as White tends to do, she either doesn't hear him or straight up ignores him. Her monologuing, along with her height and just how shiny she is, is very overwhelming for Sentinel at times. The only good thing he finds about this aspect of his sweetspark is when she dotes on him and showers him with compliments and attention. As if an attention hungry fame whore needed any more of it.
Sentinel even allows White to indulge in her psychoanalysis, playing up the whole "tragic hero whose brothers and sisters perished in battle and now has to face the pain and weight of protecting his people alone" angle that she eats up. White does sometimes hit dangerously close to home, so Sentinel shuts her down before she could dig straight to bedrock and uncover the more unfavorable parts of himself he wants to stay hidden.
Speaking of staying hidden, the way White carries herself in public makes Sentinel was to keep her locked away in a jewelry box. White is excellent when it comes to using her words to inflict psychic damage or to build someone up. When it comes to social situations where charisma, relatability, and poise are needed, this is when White is at her most alien. She is not the most socially adjusted given that prior to the finale, she spent thousands of years hidden away in a world of her own delusions. She doesn't have much of a filter, something she has been working on to avoid upsetting others.
She has the habit of pointing out any interesting thing that catches her eye, especially about people, whether or not it's positive or negative. This has led to her unsettling the bots at best or offending them at worst. Sentinel then has to come in and use his charisma to difuse the situation and paint her behavior in a more positive light. Only for White to turn around and ask everyone if they ever noticed how Sentinel's wings move in accordance to his mood and how adorable it is. Everyone laughs. Sentinel is thoroughly pissed.
Sentinel definitely has more relationship experience than White Diamond. All of her knowledge comes from what she's heard from the gems that come to her for advice or from that human show the little green Crystal Gem recommended (she can't remember her name). In her attempts to emulate the behavior she's heard of and observed, she ends up coming off as cringe or detached from reality. At certain points of the relationship, she even imposes certain "deadlines" on courtship behaviors she expects from Sentinel. All his previous relationships were private, casual flings. He only made this one public because bagging a bad bitch like White Diamond is an accomplishment he felt he had to show off.
This may come to bite him in the aft when her radiance catches the attention of other bots. On these occasions, he acts possessive and showers her with attention, gifts, and affection. He tells himself and Airachnid it's because he doesn't want her to outshine him in the eyes of the public. In reality, he gets jealous and doesn't want to lose her interest and, most importantly, her attention. As overwhelming and embarrassing as she can be, a twisted part of him really craves her attention.
In private, Sentinel can flip flop greatly in how he treats White. On some days he leans on her for support and wants her to pet his wings while he vents about all the dumb, annoying bots he has to fraternize with and all the boring meetings he has to attend. White occasionally interrupts him with advice or her own views on the situation, which frustrates Sentinel. On other days, he's completely detached, not even bothering to give her the time of day. He is at his most consistently sweet and romantic when they're both in the public eye, performing grand gestures of love. This intensifies when they're on camera.
They present themselves as THE Iacon couple, but Sentinel and White argue a lot about pretty much anything. More often than not, White is trying to advise him on how to improve himself and his city, and Sentinel kindly tells her to shut up and mind her own business.
They are both very prideful people who can't accept when they are wrong. White is more willing than Sentinel to admit to it and compromise. If she believes she is 100% in the right, she won't go down without a verbal fight. She has yet to figure out how to properly counter Sentinel's "NUH UH!" though. She believes this is normal and healthy as she hears time and time again how arguments are a sign of a functional relationship. White knows how in the past she never allowed anyone to express their grievances or criticize her. If they did, she'd twist their words to further force her own viewpoint or take control over their mind and body. Seeing Sentinel passionately argue back while White practices her listening skills and only sometimes speaks over him gives her hope that she isn't regressing back to her previous toxicity. No one has told her that disagreements are healthy and normal, but frequent fights and arguments are not. And the kind of hellish circles these two go in just ain't it
#transformers#transformers one#sentinel prime#tf one sentinel prime#white diamond#steven universe white diamond#su white diamond#crackship#headcanons#shipping#prime diamond#taffie yaps#tf one#microwaving them in my brain
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Just thinking of Cielo in the crowd at the Euros in 2022, fangirling over all of the players, crying over the win, possibly meeting a few players
Then comparing that to a year later being at the World Cup in the team, surrounded by these players she could only dream of being like just the year before 😭
Okay but Cielo watching the Euros and it just cements to her that she wants to be a professional footballer and it's the first time her parents have even considered it being a proper job for her to have
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was gonna write this in the tags, but it got way too long for that, so
short answer: If we're going purely off of the cannon material we've seen in the series I have to say too ambiguous to answer
long answer:
on one hand she did a lot of bad things, abuse, murder, siding with robo-satan
but on the other, we never got the chance to see what she would choose to do when truly free to make her own choices through the series, she's either under control of the Elliots or the solver. Which severely limits just how in control she can be of her own choices. Would standing up for your "boss and coworkers" against people and entities bent on abusing and killing them be the right thing to do? Definitely, but it's also a fast way to get yourself and them killed this isn't meant as a justification of any of her actions, just an explanation of why she'd choose them
and we don't get the chance to see if she'd continue choosing to act the way she did in the series after the solver gets defeated
take N and V for example they also did a lot of murder of both humans and drones while working for the solver. While V didn't physically hurt N, as far as we know, she still did mistreat him. You can argue that it was to a lesser extent than what J did, but even if it wasn't as bad, it still wasn't good either All three of them were made to do horrific things while working under the absolute solver. But we only get to see how N and V change when free from that
N's change is pretty quick He didn't remember the solver at the time of the pilot, so he didn't have to consider the possible consequences of going against an eldritch space demon that has already eliminated at least 1 planet
V on the other hand did remember and as a result takes longer to change In episodes 2 and 3 we see she's still intent on killing the worker drones and tries to convince N to do the same. She asks him to stop looking into the solver and goes to the prom planning to kill everyone there. V can remember the deal she made with the solver, and she knows it's out there. She can't start slacking off just because J is gone, it could show up at any point and there would be consequences for both her and N In episode 4 we see this fear first hand. V sees Uzi is getting taken over by the solver and attempts to kill her. She justifies this to N by saying that if they do their jobs, that thing (the solver) will leave them alone. She is killing in order to protect herself and N from the solver
This is the exact same justification J gives to V in the finale. She justifies siding with the absolute solver because she believes there's no way to escape or defeat it. There's no escape even in death, so it's pointless to disobey it. Had J come back sooner and had a similar encounter with V in episode 2 or 3, maybe even 4. It's possible that V would have agreed with J back then
But when they do fight in episode 8, V now believes it's possible to overcome the solver and as a result rejects J's offer to join the "winning team". Cementing her evolution to a heroic character
J on the other hand has not had the chance to have that growth. While N and V had the chance to be free from the solver for a while. J spent that entire time by its side. J isn't free from it till CYN's core is destroyed
so, would J choose to better herself now that there's no obligation to please a violent master that will kill her for stepping out of line?
well we can't say for sure we can speculate, of course. There's certainly signs and evidence that she has the capacity for it, but we can't see if that change takes place. If it happens, it happens post canon
I personally believe she could if given enough time and the room to atone by the other drones.
But she could just as easily be rejected by the other drones and be left alone to stew and grow resentful
Maybe they try to let her in, but she ends up being unwilling to change and instead isolates herself. Be it because of ego or a fear of diverting from the life she's lived for so many years
How J turns out after the credits roll is left to interpretation. It's hard to call her bad when we take her situation into account and see the potential for growth. But it's also hard to call her good when we don't know for sure what happens
Rb and all that jazz
#murder drones#md j#character analysis#or something#sorry for rambling so much in a reblog#I hadn't really thought about how similar V and J's situations are till now and had to jot it down#it's like they're on the same path#but V is several miles ahead of J on that path#one can hope J would follow in her steps and doesn't take a turn down irredeemable lane
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dany refers to herself as a queen even when she isn’t sitting on the iron throne (which is all the time) because that is the role she sees herself in regarding every aspect of her life now.
#tbt.#it’s cemented into her being that she is#the rightful heir to the iron throne#manifest girl go
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Danny commits to the Bit a bit too hard...
So! For the first few weeks after his accident, whenever Danny would try to help the people of Amity Park, he would be treated as a Villain.
No matter if he had just defeated the Big Bad of the Week or saved a Cat from a tree, everybody in town only saw him as a Monster or Villain to he feared and hunted down. Danny was really getting sick of trying to get them on his side, until Sam made a suggestion.
"Why not just...play into it?" She said, barely looking up from painting her nails.
It was just an offhand suggestion, but it stuck with Danny. Why shouldn't he lean into it? The people of Amity Park already saw Ghosts as Evil, and they already assumed he was in cahoots with the Ghosts attacking the town. Why shouldn't he just...play into it?
So he does just that.
From that day on, whenever Phantom was spotted he would dramatically monologue about his Evil Plans, or claim that another Rogues attack on the City was his own act of terror.
Box Ghost destroys the towns Warehouses? It was on his orders.
Ember mind controls masses of Teenagers? All part of his Plans somehow.
Every Adult in Town is kidnapped by Young Blood? Danny gave them over to a friend as a Gift.
He crafts an identity for himself as the most Vile and Horrible Ghost that has ever attacked the City, using his own infamy to cement his legend even more firmly. The town only sees a Monsterous Villain, who has eveded capture near effortlessly for months on end, who constantly attacks their City and gets away with it.
Of course he still needs an excuse for how his plans keep getting stopped, and he gets it when his girlfriend Valerie becomes the Red Huntress. Before that, he just claimed infighting or the Fentons getting lucky, but Valerie becoming the Town's Hero meant he had a plausible excuse for how he kept getting "Foiled".
Val was suspicious, because she was not as involved as Phantom painted her to be, but in the end she had no proof of him faking his defeats. And she couldn't come up with any explanations for why he would do that in the first place. I mean, who would fake being a Supervillain? It had to he something else.
This did come back to bite him a while later, when the Justice League decided that enough was enough, and dispatched Justice League Dark to recruit Red Huntress and help Deal with him.
Coincidentally, that was the same day Pariah Dark attacked the Mortal Realm and sucked Amity Park into the Ghost Zone.
And honestly? Danny had spent over a Year proclaiming himself as a Villain who commanded Ghosts to attack the Human Realm, and he had heard about the Right of Conquest being Absolute in the Ghost Zone, so why not make it official? Why not overthrow the Ghost King, become the Ghost King, and cement his identity as a Villain while also forbidding Ghosts from entering the Human Realm without his permission?
He may have gotten a bit carried away and forgotten that the Villain thing was a disguise...but hey! He was still preventing Ghost Attacks! ...mostly. That's got to count for something right?
He may have let the Bit run a bit too far...
...
Check the tags for more context!
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#Danny is a Villain#Or he pretends to be a Villain#It started out as a Persona so he didn't have to keep justifying his existence to civilians and then spiraled out of control#He got a little too committed to the Bit#Danny claims that all Ghost Attacks are on his orders as a convenient excuse for being at the scene of every attack#He befriends a few of his Rogues and actually does command them sometimes to keep up the charade#They can indulge in their Obsessions from time to time and the Kid gets to keep up his weird Villain Act that he likes to do#It's a win-win#I wonder if Danny would try to recruit Vlad?#Or would Vlad fully buy into the Villain Persona and try to join Danny's team only for Danny to REPEATEDLY reject him?#“Why won't my incredible Villain Godson accept me?! And I not enough of a Villain for him?!” He cries to himself sometimes#Danny is the Ghost King#He just decided to overthrow Pariah when he attacked to cement his Villain Persona#And completely forgot that it was supposed to be a Persona for a minute there#JLD and Red Huntress are working overtime to defeat him#He is now the Next Big Threat™️ and doesn't even realize it#Sam and Tucker are just laughing theirs asses off at the mess he got himself into#Jazz is tired#And Val is wondering why her boyfriend is so awkward whenever she mentions Phantom
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I know she's divisive, but Jaina Proudmoore is truly The Most Character of all time. She had sexist magic rules changed in her early teens. Her boyfriend broke up with her twice and the second time was because she wouldn't commit genocide with him. She built a city of refugees when she was like 25. She was exiled from her home country for helping kill her own father so that he wouldn't commit genocide. She loves to make sarcastic jokes and is the living embodiment of 'not to worry i have a permit' 'this just says i can do what i want'. She and one of her best friends hated each other half the time until he died. She once tried to kill her other best friend. People were upset with her for being angry and traumatized when the city she built was annihilated. She fucked a dragon. She almost committed genocide and her allies were more angry about the fact that she once gave some money to her adoptive nephew's friend. She's switched back and forth between political sides three different times. Her mother nearly executed her for treason. She was handed the leadership of her home country that she hadn't lived in since she was a young child. She now spends all her free time with her work husband from like 25 years ago even though he has a wife and two kids. Who is doing it like her
#i finally finished the shattering which cemented my opinion of her and varian being like siblings#who will tell each other to go fuck themselves but would kill anyone else for saying the same#and i really do think it's funny that she and thrall have hardly been seen apart since the beginning of shadowlands#jaina proudmoore#world of warcraft
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trying to watch a knights tale cuz obviously but i cant get over the modernization choices that dated it within like two years of it coming out lol
#costume design is lovely even tho i kind of hate Jocelyns fashion#which i knowww was trendy at the time and that she was wearing fashions that hadnt even been released yet before the films release#which was only supposed to cement her character as being ahead of her time and stuff but im sorry it doesnt work for me its just.#tacky and makes her look so out of place 😔 im sorry 90s directors i see what you meant but its not working at least not now#and the song choices are so . cmon man#but yes okay the set design and the way its filmed is very nice
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One of my favorite tropes I've seen in some LiS fics is when Max is able to bring Chloe and/or Rachel with her when she time travels or time stops. The intimacy of breaking the laws of space-time with someone you love is just... ough
#bulletbilltime rambling#life is strange#amberpricefield#it's like... oh max feels isolated because of her power#everyone else around her forgets what happened in the rewind time#but OH what's this? they actually followed her back through time?!#chloe and rachel's minds exploding because they realize they just went through time#and now they're even closer because they can share this power together 🥹🥹🥹#mechanics wise the most obvious answer is max willing herself to keep them with her as she goes back in time#either through holding on to them or them holding her as she rewinds#but the option where max doesn't intentionally do anything#or the two just so happen to follow her whenever she uses time travel is honestly so good#GODDAMMIT now I'm imagining chloe feeling Max go back through time because she accidentally dropped something on the floor#and chloe feeling it and being like 'dude it's 3am stop rewinding time man I wanna sleep'#I am obsessed with these goobers and with this most recent playthrough the brainrot will be forever cemented#the post is stored in the tags
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Glancing at something on Ao3 -
What kind of feelings Jerry was supposed to evoke, actually?
FE16 pushes the player - through Billy - to consider Jerry as a good parent, because it plays with the red herring about the evil lizard lady being evil.
And yet, even with all of his misgivings about his kid, Jerry is still the one who calls Flamey's bullshit and wonders if running away from GM wasn't the stupidest decision he ever made, just before kicking the bucket.
Being the cheap copy of the Ike'n'Greil relationship, Jerry's presence and death is supposed to be important to Billy - even in Tru Piss where they look pissed at seeing Emile and working with Uncle'n'pals.
And yet, unlike what we learn about Greil being the chadest amongst chads with 1 (one!) blackspot to his record, whenever you talk to characters about Jerry you're met with... less than rosy thoughts, even if the characters apparently handwave it away.
Let it be with Leonie, or even Alois, Billy learns that their dad wasn't the chadest of chads like Greil, but a drunkard (before Citrus' death, since Alois was a kid!) who apparently played dangerous games with people who idolised him, left his kid alone to be showered with praise by Leonie's village as he dealt with bandits, and left bar tabs all around the continent for his "apprentices" to pay.
Come the "journal" where, imo, we learn that dude was so afraid of his baby not being "normal" than he ran away from the odd lady who saved them "a long time" ago and who's pretty much not normal himself, and the place where his own wife, who displayed - partly - the same "abnormality" as their baby grew up and lived.
Then Nopes happened and did a number on poor Jerry - from mocking their kid's potential aspirations at being something else than a sword for hire, to their singing (done to cheer him up!) and actually learning he at times apparently let them go without food while he never invited them to the "thank you" parties throwns by the people his company saved...
Billy still loves their dad, but is he a good dad by any means?
With all that knowledge, after playing both FE16 and Nopes, can we really feel upset when Jerry kicks the bucket? For Billy maybe, because Jerry is important for them, but does it has the same echo as Greil's death, or even, to remain in Fodlan, Rodrigue's?
I guess if in Nopes, Jerry acted on his heel-face turn (or suddenly growing a brain) from his penultimate FE16 dialogue, we could have had a character growing beyond the red herring and the "unreliable narrator" stuff FE16's first part gave us, and maybe make for a more grounded-complete character, like confessing that he panicked after Citrus' death and worried for Billy, but regrets not being able to bring them the best life they dreamt of, and willing to apologise and let Billy grow in the same environment Citrus did.
Or maybe even explore what Jerry did in 300 years, if he never bothered to wonder why the fuck was he living to be as old as the elites, or his thoughts and feelings about Rhea periodically using hairdye to pretend to be someone else and "aging" even less than him...
Given how - or maybe i'm tainted by the fandom - FE16 thrived on the playerbase feeling characters/situation "relatable" from a doylist pov, I guess Jerry running away with bby!Billy because they weren't "normal" wasn't as weird as it sounds, babies should rightfully have a beating heart!
Bernie is a hikkikomori (forget the part where she's supposed to be the heir of one of the most important lands in Adrestia which would rightfully make her father disappointed with her (lbr, Greg would either have tried to get another kid with Bernie's mom, or got a second wife/bastard, or picked a branch member of his house to take his succession), Linhardt falls asleep and doesn't want to do his job as the next minister of Finances/whatever his dad does and prefers to hyperfocus on academic research ? How lol (please ignore the implications of House Hervring's heir being, uh, not interested in whatever his father does and how he is supposed to inherit his job (at least before Supreme Leader starts her war and pulls out her "reforms")).
Between the brackets are the first arguments that come to mind, if we consider the world those characters live in, aka Watsonian wise.
Jerry is worried about his baby's heart not beating and them not being normal? Jerry, you're not "normal" per Fodlan's standards yourself, you're over 300! Your wife had the same difficulties to emote than your kid and she might or not have had the same "heart not beating" syndrome given how it's her own heart that was transplanted in your kid
You know that what is "normal" for regular humans in Fodlan do not apply to you, your wife or your boss who oddly looks like your wife. So why was that argument even considered when you decided to run away and condemn your child to a life of "sword for hire" and danger at each day ending with a -y ?
IDK, it's as if, in BK, Kalas' bro, born without wings - which is an oddity since apparently everyone is born with some in this verse - finds Kalas weird for only having "one wing" and not two like everyone. It would be the pot calling the keetle back (but since BK is a game with coherent writing, this never happened).
Jerry runs away with the baby because the baby isn't normal despite the midwife assuring everyone they are?
Legit
300 yo Jerry runs away with the baby because the baby has the same condition as their mother despite the "immortal lady who saved his life" assuring him the baby is alright?
WTF
So, in the end, what are we supposed to think of Jerry?
Was he a character who made the best situation out of the shitty cards he was handed regarding their kid?
Or a character who swallowed an idiot plot ball to play with the doylist red herring, made errors but ultimately saw the light before being Clownya'd?
Or, given his supports and Nopes, a shitty character whose only redeeming point is to be Billy's dad, and who receives a lot of leeway by virtue of being Billy's dad by the writing team (given two fans) and the first game being from Billy's POV?
#I might be harsh on Jerry#seriously after playing (and still doing so lol) BK aka more meaty games#with real writing#you see how the unreliable narrator stuff is developed#and when it contradicts the world and lore there is a resolution#it's not just 'uuuuh'#i often shit on ike but so far I don't have anything remotely salty to say about Greil bar Mist being less relevant than Loki's own mist#rant#FE16#with the 5 years anniversary I was thinking about characters I wrote/thought a lot about#pretty sure reading Jerry's diary cemented Rhea's belief that Sothis needed to return because Fodlan was fucked#like the dude ran away from her after 300 years bcs Billy's part Nabatean hopefully she never told him her secret#what would he have done otherwise? Killed her himself?
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