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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 4 years ago

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[this week’s T5F was requested by anon]

Top 5 Worst Choices That Didn’t Matter

“This game series adapts to the choices you make. The story is tailored by how you play.”

......Yeah okay, Telltale.

There are a lot of important choices to make over the course of the twdg series, but as we all know, not every single choice matters. One of the biggest things people tend to complain about Telltale games is the illusion of choice and “my choices don’t matter! We all get the same ending anyway!” which is fair, I get it.

I personally try to look at the choices in a more positive light. Like, yeah it doesn’t matter if you cut Lee’s arm off or not. No matter what, you can’t save him and he’s going to die at the end of S1. Except that choice does matter, just not in the way we wanted it to. It matters because it shapes the story we the player want to tell.

Who is your Lee? Is he willing to do anything to rescue Clementine? Including cutting his own arm off if it means giving him just enough time to get to her, even though it’s going to hurt like hell and could possibly leave him worse off?

Or is your Lee someone who won’t risk that, even if there is the smallest hope that they cut it off in time and he could live? He’s willing to let the infection spread and kill him because he needs both arms and all the energy he has left to get to Clementine?

Sure, it doesn’t matter in the end-- Lee still dies, but two armed Lee isn’t the same man as one armed Lee, and that’s important to your story. Plus, that choice is memorable as hell.

But these kinds of choices that are impactful to your story in various ways? Yeah, we’re not talking about those today. Nope. Today we’re talking about choices that meant absolutely nothing. They never came back, they didn’t impacted the story in a meaningful way, they’re forgetful, and they’re just the worst. I don’t like ‘em.

Before we get started, just wanna shoutout @pi-creates for helping me bounce all these choices around and reminding me of so many things I forgot.

5. Telling Clementine to bring AJ back to Richmond

One of the last choices you’ll make as Javier Garcia happens during a conversation with Clementine. The two are talking about AJ and Clementine’s wondering if she was a good mom [which still don’t love the direction they went there for okay ANF] and Javi has the choice to tell her to bring AJ back to Richmond, or to leave him at the ranch.

And funny enough.... this means nothing. It does nothing. It’s said and nothing is remembered. Clementine never brings AJ back, she never mentions Javi telling her to bring him or leave him... all we get is a single line in TFS during the ranch flashback where Clementine says that they can’t go back because it’s a warzone that way.... but she says that no matter what.

It also doesn’t help that this come at the very end of the season but isn’t a huge choice the affects the endings. I dunno if they were trying to plant ideas that “Ooohh this choice could decide whether Clem sees the Garcia’s ever again! Clementine’s story isn’t over y’all! The Garcia’s could come back and we could see Richmond again!”

But then TFS happened and they were like “Ha, that’s stupid, no one likes the Garcia’s.” and they are never mentioned by name again.

4. Helping Sarah in the green house

Ugh, okay.

So, there’s this point in S2 where you’re trapped in Howe’s and put to work in the green house with Sarah and Reggie. Y’see, Sarah isn’t doing so good at this. Carver got pissed at her for talking earlier and forced Carlos to slap her... which he did, and it knocked her on her ass, and now she’s in shock.

Then ya got Reggie who keeps talking about how he’s on thin ice with Carver but also he’s this close to being let out of the holding area, so behave and all will be chill. He gives you a task to trip and pick berries or whatever, when you notice that Sarah is just kinda standing there.

So you got a choice: Do you focus on your own work, or do you help Sarah out?

Well, it doesn’t matter what you pick.

It.... it literally doesn’t matter. Sure, you could argue that it helps Sarah out and adds friendship points with her.... except no, not really. It’s never brought up again. She doesn’t even guilt you if you don’t help her, which is something you’d expect from these games.

Oh, and Reggie dies no matter what. Yeah, Carver comes in and thinks a couple of berry bushes is the perfect reason to throw this man off of a rooftop... but then he doesn’t do anything to Clementine or Sarah either way. He doesn’t get mad if you help, he doesn’t go after Sarah if you don’t.... and it’s never mentioned again. Reggie’s death is, but your specific choice isn’t.

3. Stealing from Arvo

Oooooh boy, gotta love the Arvo choice.

So, you and Jane are trying to find a safe place for Rebecca to have her baby when you see this kid walk up carrying a bag. He’s pretty harmless, and he’s more scared of you than you are of him. Jane gets the jump on him, and you check out the bag he’s carrying.

Turns out, he’s got a shit ton of medicine.... medicine that your group could really use. Arvo panics and begs you not to steal from him, claiming it’s for his sick sister. You gotta decide if you want to rob him or not.

And it doesn’t matter.

The best I can do to defend this is by kinda comparing it to when you steal from the Stranger’s car in S1. It’s more of a moral choice to shape Clementine, y’know? Except it doesn’t really do anything..... Clementine isn’t branded a thief after this, she doesn’t go around just stealing shit [though she can steal Pete’s watch but that’s another story]. But if you do want to keep stretching, then the next entry on this list could be seen as a continuation of Clementine’s thieving ways if you so choose.... but that choice is here, too, soooo take that for what you will.

If you steal the medicine, you have this pill bottle that you can give to Rebecca but that barely matters, too. They don’t help or harm her when she’s giving birth, they do nothing for AJ, and no matter what you do.... Arvo’s squad ambushes you.

And it means nothing.

Arvo will always claim you stole from him, even if you didn’t. Rebecca will always die and someone will always shoot her, causing a shootout to happen where no one in your group dies.

Yeah, no one but Arvo’s squad dies. Mike gets shot, and so does Luke but that’s it.

Oh, and stealing from him is never brought up again after that.... because it doesn’t matter.

Even if they did something where if you stole from him, then one of your group members dies because of some bullshit reason, then it would mean something but as it is now? Nothin’.

2. Injecting AJ with medicine

Oh hello, ANF, you’re back.

This flashback is annoying on so many levels... Alright, AJ is sick and everyone has told Clementine that there’s nothing anyone can do to help him, but she gets her hands on the name of a medicine she thinks will help. So she sneaks around and finds the medicine, but of course, she can only give it to him as an injection.

Instead of doing the smart thing and taking the medicine and moving away from the group to give to AJ in a safe location where she won’t get caught, she sticks around for Lingard to wake up, and he’s high outta his mind so that’s fun.

He tells her that it’s not going to help him and to just put it back. She knows what they do to thieves around here but he won’t tell anyone. It’s up to you, do you put it back or inject AJ?

Well, guess what?

Clementine gets caught either way and the drugs are either in AJ or smashed on the floor, David becomes a flipflop with his “We shoulda abandoned AJ long ago to die >:O but also you can’t take him because he’ll die out there!” and they kick Clementine out for being a dingus.

And here’s the kicker.... AJ is alive no matter what. He gets through whatever sickness he had and went to the ranch. You injecting him or not did nothing... no side affects, nothing. I’m sure they didn’t want to go super dark by killing AJ off [except they kinda did since there’s a lot of scrapped concepts with a dead AJ] depending on if you injected him or not..... but at least it would’ve been something. Hell, maybe no kill him since we need him for TFS, but maybe it would affect if he went to the ranch or not to begin with. Maybe if he got worse, they sent him somewhere else and that would affect where Clementine went to get him back for the flashbacks in TFS.

Again, you could look at this as what Clementine would be willing to do for AJ........ but it doesn’t enhance the story in any meaningful way. It affects what Clementine you get in the end, but that’s just some text on the screen.

I dunno, this choice could’ve done something... that’s all I’m saying.

1. Teaching Sarah to shoot

Once again, Sarah finds herself on my dumb lists... and not in a good way. Sigh.

Alright, you wanna talk about the worst choice that meant absolutely nothing? Nothing at all?

You get back to the cabin in S2 after leaving either Nick or Pete, and Carlos asks you to watch Sarah while they go out to look for the rest. You find Sarah, you can take some pictures, and then she asks where her dad is.

She gets anxious and sits on the floor....but then she does something interesting. She pulls out a gun she found. It’s not loaded or anything, but she asks Clementine if she can teach her how to use it.

And you’re probably thinking, “Oh, that’s a good idea. She should know how to use a gun, but her dad is too over protective. This could help us in the future.” or “Oof, no, Sarah isn’t ready for a gun. What if that comes back and bites me in the ass? What if she shoots someone I don’t want her to shoot?”

Well, don’t worry your pretty little head because nothing comes of this.

Nothing.

You teach her to shoot, and it does nothing. She never picks up another gun ever again, she never does anything with what you taught her, and nothing happens.

Just.... wow.

At the very least... with the other picks on this list, you could stretch and make some sort of excuse for it having an impact on the story.... but this doesn’t do anything to further your relationship with Sarah, Carlos never finds out about it, there’s never a point where Sarah admits she found the gun, she doesn’t use it, she doesn’t give it to Clementine or anyone else to you, and it does nothing.

This scene could be completely removed and it wouldn’t change anything... which honestly, is something I can’t say for the rest of these dumb choices.

That’s what makes this the ultimate pointless choice.

---

Dishonorable Mentions

-Asking to go with Mike at the end of S2. Arvo will shoot Clementine no matter what and it’s dumb. -Keeping quiet about Mari when David asks you to. It doesn’t affect anything other than David being upset for two seconds, but you get thrown out and it doesn’t matter. -Trying to help Christa in S2 ep1. Either way, she gets shot at and you never see her again and it just doesn’t matter. -Honestly 400 Days.... just all of it. The only thing you get is pointless cameos if you get everyone to go with Tavia. -Being nice to Larry. He still treats you like shit and accuses you of being a bitch to him anyway soooo.... yeah. -Fixing the swing in S1 ep2. If you don’t do it, then Andy will.

----

It’s pretty telling that this T5F is just S2 and ANF choices.... sigh. Like sure, there are a lot of choices that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things in S1 and TFS but most of those I can justify as being there to shape your story and are impactful in different ways..... but boy, there’s just something about S2 and ANF and their choices, isn’t there?

Anyway, what do you guys think? Do you agree with my choices or nah? Do you have a choice you don’t like and think is meaningless that wasn’t on the list? Lemme know, I’d love to hear it!

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

—

Next week’s T5F Top 5 Reasons Javier Garcia’s Pretty Great

#twdg t5f #twdg clementine #twdg aj #twdg javi #twdg david #twdg sarah #twdg nick #twdg pete #twdg carlos #twdg lingard #twdg larry #twdg christa #twdg jane #twdg rebecca #twdg

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leahseclipse · 4 years ago

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It’s always colder on your own

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Category: Angst/ comfort

Warnings: SPOILERS OF S2 EP15-18, mentions of addiction, murder, kidnapping, rape (just in a sentence), drugs, traumatic experience, usual cm stuff

Summary: Old memories haunt the BAU's genius when a case involving addiction is handled by the team.

Requested by @imagining-in-the-margins ; based on this request:

Hurt/Comfort where there is a case involving addiction and the following happens:

Reader: Are you alright?

Spencer: Hm? Oh. Yeah, I-I'm fine.

Reader: Okay.

Reader: You know it's okay if you're not, right?

Spencer: What?

Reader: It's okay if you're not okay.

A/N: Its aaaaaaa I'm writing another request for imagining-in-the-margins— that's wowie-

Oh and btw, for the mentions of the verse of the bible; I did some research about it based on the ones that Spencer recited, so I'm sorry if I accidentally made some mistakes, I unfortunately don't know much about it ^^

A/N (2); At some point of the story, when you’ll see text then [...] and text again, the “[...]” is the parts Spencer haven’t been listening to, he was distracted.

I hope you will like it, i tried lmaoo

Word count: 4.8k

__________________

It's just a little bit lonely in this home, it's always colder on your own, my darling I, I let the seasons change my mind. — Ricky Montgomery, This December

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Spencer hasn’t felt that way for a long time, for way too long.

That feeling seemed weird, but strangely familiar.

Although it had been a while since it had happened, he never really forgot about it; it stayed; buried deep inside his thoughts.

He didn’t think that he’d have to deal with it again; well, he’s only dealing with his own problems, because it wasn’t about him this time; it was about the case, specifically, about the unsub.

Spencer had never thought the case would have turned out to be that way; it didn’t seem like it at all at first, he would have qualified it as normal- as the cases they had worked on before this one didn’t affect him personally in general- ,but none of the case the bureau works on are normal, you truly have to be mentally prepared for it because it never is normal, there always is a deeper meaning, and when the reason is discovered, it isn’t really pleasant most of the time, to the point everyone in the room had wished not to see it, but it isn’t very surprising anymore when you’ve been working there for more than ten years, you get used to it, eventually.

He wished that he could have said that he had moved on, but it never was the case, he didn’t forget these days, when he had thought that he wouldn’t make it out alive; and he almost didn’t. He had died there, probably for less than ten minutes as he didn’t suffer permanent brain damage from the lack of oxygen; but what had probably caused it was the dilaudid.

It had been injected into his veins, multiple times without his consent, for the only reason that it would make him feel better- which did not, considering what he had to go through after it happened.

He still regrets what he did after the incident; he snapped at Emily; thought of using dilaudid again: he clearly wasn’t himself, he didn’t even recognize himself whenever he was in front of a mirror.

Addiction stuff never goes away, and even though he didn’t forget, he didn’t think much about it daily, just when the subject would come up, or if he’d see or hear something that would remind him of it, but never the thought of the matter had been that important until now. It never triggered him a lot when he thought of it, not until a case bringing it up was taken in by the team.

It had been exactly five days, four hours, and nine minutes since they had begun working on it, but if he’d be counting the time he had been working on it, it’d be less than that. He hasn’t been focusing well since the discovery of the addiction concerning the unsub had been brought up.

Why is it impacting me like that? It had never been that way before, so why did it stay since? I never brought much attention to it to the point of thinking of it non-stop. I always managed to distract myself, try to control my emotions, so why didn’t it work today?

The only person who could- almost - make it go somehow go away was y/n. He’d look at her, and he’d be able to escape these thoughts for a moment as the only thing he thought about was her.

Spencer could describe her as his guardian angel, he can't lie about it, she saved him.

He doesn't know what he'd be doing if she wasn't here; and now that he thinks about what happened with Hankel, he can't imagine that if he hadn't made it out alive, he wouldn't have met her, she wouldn't have met him; and the only way she could have known him was through memories, and pictures.

Spencer would have been nothing but a frozen memory.

It sends chills to his spine whenever he thinks about it, the fact that he would have died at 25.

He can’t keep thinking about it, as it isn’t good to remain in the past; but now he’s just stuck in them, he can’t really describe what he’s feeling, but he can definitely say that it's clearly not doing any good to his mental health; it’s ruining him.

But clearly he doesn't want to tell the others and add more problems on top of the ones they already have with the case, and eventually in their lives.

Spencer doesn’t want to feel like a burden to the others, it’s been more than 10 years since it happened and to him, he’s supposed to have left some of the tension that was crushing him, it had been supposed to at least go away, a bit, to the point it didn’t ruin his health; he doesn’t know if he should talk about it, or if he even wants to.

He knows that they’ll understand, he knows that they never judged him, and will never do it; but what if they don’t understand? He doesn’t even know why it appeared now, he doesn’t know what triggered him that much to the point of being in this state of mind. He always figures out everything, and now he can’t even solve his own problems.

Everyone says that no one knows you better than you do, but I guess that this time the ‘theory’ hasn’t proven itself to be true apparently.

Something refrains him from talking; but he doesn’t know why.

If he talks about it with y/n, it may or may not solve it, but it could release some pressure, perhaps. It’s not confirmed, but it could.

Now that he thought about it, were the thoughts that distractive to the point that he may have forgotten why he felt like that in the first place?

He remembers that stress can affect how memories are formed. When stressed, people have a more difficult time creating short-term memories and turning those short-term memories into long-term memories, meaning that it is more difficult to learn when stressed.

It could have been that, but how? He doesn’t forget stuff.

He never does.

But, now that he thinks about it, is he looking at a reason when it is only right in front of his eyes? When it could only be his brain that reacted when the subject came up?

Spencer always figures out stuff, even what’s going on in his own mind;

So why does he feel like he can’t do anything?

Anything but watch himself sink down.

Is he trying to avoid it, doesn’t he want to solve it, or is he too afraid to face the truth?

Well, a part of him doesn't want to admit it, he could say that.

He doesn't want to face it, he doesn’t want to plunge the knife deeper than it already is. He doesn’t know, or can’t talk about it because he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to explain , make the person he’s talking to understand his feelings, or even manage to get the courage to talk about it, to not get stuck in a middle of sentence because he suddenly freaks out, or doesn’t know what to tell anymore.

He hoped that it’ll get better.

It could;

Or it couldn’t.

He’ll try to think about it later. It already was late enough, he wouldn’t get much sleep, so he’d better go now.

Spencer made his way to the entrance of the hotel room he shared with y/n, wondering if she still was awake; as she liked to go over the cases sometimes before going to sleep; but she wasn’t this time, she was laying on her side, the white blanket on top of her legs.

He made his way in the room, carefully closing the door not to wake her up; as she must have been drained of all the energy after the long day they’ve had;

He understands her, it really is exhausting, especially when the case goes nowhere. They didn’t manage to get much today, except...the addiction stuff.

Spencer would have normally felt relieved to have found a lead, even the smallest, but that lead wasn’t the one he would have wanted to find. He did want to find something else, but they weren’t appropriate thoughts, you can’t wish to find out he was a rapist or a murderer either.

Either it’s addiction, murder, kidnapping or rape stuff, neither is acceptable to wish for it to happen instead of what happened.

Neither.

He wishes he could erase it from his mind, at least, not remember it fully; but with that eidetic memory of his, that isn’t possible.

His eidetic memory is a blessing and a curse at the same time.

The curse part of it isn’t the best, it even describes itself by the definition of curse.

It always makes you remember the memories you certainly don't want to think about; and for Spencer, it’s literally his whole life, so he does want to not have it anymore most of the time because of that.

Unfortunately, that isn’t possible either.

If only it could, that’d allow him to rest better, especially now.

He made his way to the bed to the side next to the window; y/n had remembered that Spencer preferred to be on the side of the window.

Gosh, he loves her for that.

It’s a small detail, but still, he appreciated it that she thought of it.

Thinking about her, he wonders if she did notice or not; because even though they don’t profile each other, y/n always tries to make sure he’s okay without pressuring him.

So, if she did notice that time, she may not be talking about it because she possibly wasn’t sure whether he would react well or not; she knows that it’s a sensitive subject, and she didn’t want to trigger him or be in bad terms, but only if she knew that he wouldn’t ever do that.

He couldn’t yell at her, she’s the reason he’s here, the reason he stayed for. If he knew that five years after his arrival she’d enter the bureau, he would have fought every single day to survive and meet her, especially when he was with Hankel. He wouldn’t have given it up if it was for her.

He appreciated the team too, they were a second family to him; but he also would have liked to have the love of his life to fight for that day.

Spencer was relieved that she had arrived a year after it happened, he wouldn’t have wanted her to see him like that, he knew that she couldn’t have managed to think about anything, her mind would be fuzzy, she wouldn’t have managed to separate the right thoughts from the bad ones. He would have been relieved that it didn’t happen in front of her eyes, not the actual thing.

He wouldn’t have preferred that to happen at all, considering the problems that it caused after it, and still from that day. He still thinks that it was his fault, even if the team made him know it wasn’t at all; but he shouldn’t have split up.

Both JJ and him could have died; JJ could have been badly hurt because of the dogs, if they attacked her, and spencer could have died there if Tobias or whatever it was, didn’t chose to try to resuscitate him; if he would have made him go in his own grave he had dig, or if he has shot before he managed to get his gun to shoot him in the chest.

He still remembers the look on his face.

Even if he didn’t have an eidetic memory, he probably wouldn’t have forgotten it. It terrified him.

He had shot him before hankel managed to, and he fell to the floor, as Spencer kneeled beside him, looking at his terrified and disturbed eyes.

“You killed him."

“Tobias?” He asked, as he noticed the brightness of the flashlights from his peripheral view; and heard the distant voices, probably calling his name. He didn’t pay much attention, from the state and mindset, and his mind being...well, trying to focus on the man in front of him.

“Do you think I’ll get to see my mom again?” he slightly raised his voice, looking at Spencer.

“I’m sorry.” Spencer had admitted.

And that was the last words he had probably heard, before his eyes froze as life left his body; his chest rising a final time, as his last breath dissolved itself in the cold air.

It wasn’t until several people had gathered around the area, Hotch lowering himself to Reid’s level in order to pick him up.

A feeling of relief had washed itself over him, he hadn’t realised that his living nightmare had- now that he thought about it- somehow came to an end.

He didn’t think he’d do it once, but he had hugged hotch; as Hotch gave him a pat after he had wrapped his arms around his upper back.

He had understood what he had said when Hankel had asked him who he’d chose to kill, after he had chose Hotch,

"He’s a classic narcissist; he thinks he’s better than everyone else on the team.

Genesis 23:4; let him not deceive himself and trust in vanity, emptiness, falseness, and futility, for these shall be his recompense.

When he had said this; he had messed up on purpose; his memory didn't fail him; he had recited the verse 'job 15:31', not genesis 23:4. He had hoped for them to understand the "mistake" he had done, hoping that one of them would know the real verse.

I am a stranger and a sojourner with you. Give me property, forbear a place among you that I may bury my dead out of my sight “

Something had probably clicked in their minds, allowing them to discover the location Reid was at, or close to.

After that, he had gone to hug JJ, who had begun stepping towards him; before breaking the embrace as he reassured her that it wasn’t her fault after she had apologized.

That’s when he thinks that he messed up, what caused him to struggle even more.

He had asked for a moment, to be alone; and shortly stepped towards Tobias’s cold, lifeless body, reaching out for his pocket to take the two dilaudid vials; shoving them in his pocket in a single move- possibly to not draw attention by taking his time if they were watching him-, before standing up, crossing his arms, each in the crook of the other.

He won’t lie to himself, the next days weren’t the best he had; the wound was fresh, so obviously he wasn’t in his right mind; he kept-

Spencer.

Stop.

You’ve done enough damage to yourself.

He had put his hand on his forehead, before crashing on the bed, close to y/n to feel her warmth; hoping it could allow him to put his mind to rest.

Don’t think about it.

Just stop. It’ll be by constantly thinking about it that it’ll keep ruining you.

Spencer thought that it could- in a way- stop it, he didn’t really know what to do and think about at his point.

He closed his eyes, in an attempt to finish the rest of the night calmly.

-------

Spencer had woken up surprisingly early, way before the usual hour they'd go to work.

The night wasn't awesome, but okay...ish.

He had taken a lot of time trying to get his thoughts away from his head, but when you're alone, the task isn't easy.

It's you, and your thoughts.

Nothing else.

There wasn't anything to distract him as y/n was asleep; he wasn't going to wake her at 4am because he couldn't sleep, you certainly don't wake up someone for that.

He had woken up by exactly 5:45, not bothering to look at the window as he knew daylight wouldn't come at this time of the day, more around 7.

Obviously, he hadn't forgotten last night's subject, as much as he wished he could have.

But you know...eidetic memory stuff again.

As he looked as y/n lying next to him; Spencer had noticed that she hadn't apparently woken up yet; she was on her side, her face facing his.

He had wondered if she managed to get a good night of sleep; she'd often get stressed because of the case, and as the case had contained something she knew concerned Spencer -in a way-, she must have been stressing about it.

She always put others before herself, if one of her friends wasn't feeling well, she'd abandon the activity she was up to, and focus on the person; no matter what, even if it meant staying for two hours to listen and help the one she was talking to.

She was amazingly caring.

Too caring to the point that Spencer would ask himself if he ever deserved her: he wouldn’t have thought that he’ll ever meet a person like that, acting so nicely with him, plus interested in a relationship, that is now going on for two years; that was...unimaginable.

He liked being with her, a lot. She was a bit shorter than him, so he’d find it cute whenever she’d struggle reaching the top shelf; he didn’t know why he’d find it so cute: but it was like that. He’d go to help her, even if she wouldn’t ask, he’d do everything to make her happy, he’d never been in a relationship before her, so he didn’t really quite know what to do not to make her uncomfortable, not loved; he was so awkward and wouldn’t stop rambling or stuttering whenever he’d see y/n.

But she never saw him this way. She saw him as a normal person, talked to him as she would to the rest of the team; and would often come to talk, even if she didn’t have a reason to. She apparently wanted to hear Spencer rambling about facts, or answer some of the questions she had; and it never bothered him, she could have come for anything, even if it was just to say hello or ask him to take a paper she had faxed.

As long as he could see her, hear her voice, as long as she would be near him, it would be okay.

He had hoped for a while to be more than just friends, but the introverted side he had made him keep his feelings stuck inside, with no possibility to let them go out as he didn’t even have the courage to. That decision would have been something he would have regretted for a while if Ihedidn’t choose to say it that day at the bureau.

Well, It all was in the moment, it wasn’t intentional, not at all, it slipped out, and he regretted it at first, as his first thought was her rejection due to her non-shared feelings towards him.

“Hey Reid, you ready today? We don’t have any case for now, but we still have the paperwork from last day.”

“Oh- you’re talking to me? Sorry I- I thought of something. Could you repeat?”

“You? Distracted ? That isn’t surprising.”

“It’s rare, i’m paying attention most of the time.”

“Well you didn’t this time genius. Do you have a reason to defend yourself?” She said, in a playful tone.

“You.”

“...what?”

“I- I just, uh...it’s been a while since I wanted to tell uh…”

“...wanted to tell what?”

“That I- appreciate you; but not only in a…friendly way, it’s more than that. If you...get it. I...god, I’m probably making you feel uncomfortable right now.”

“Wait, you’re serious about this?”

“I’ve never been more serious than now.” Spencer said, not even stuttering, proving how serious he was in this moment.

“Then I feel the same, if that can answer your questions,.”

And that is how they began dating; with only eleven words; she had relieved him. He had been washed of all of his fears, now replaced with comforting thoughts.

He had never forgotten this sentence. If he didn't have an eidetic memory, he would have immediately grabbed a post-it not to forget it.

The tiniest things that had set their relationship had been the biggest ones that he cherishes the most.

Spencer likes her so much that he's always afraid to lose her whenever they're on a case; he always has to go with her.. Although she always was with the others, he couldn't let anything happen to her without being able to be here to protect her.

She doesn't want her to see him getting hurt either; even though she insists to be with him; it's funny; the fact that they want to protect each other all the time.

But now, he did want to protect her, he didn't want her to worry about problems she has yet to worry about.

We have enough problems.

I don't need to add more.

It won't do any good.

I'll solve it on my own.

Spencer crossed the door; as a group of officers and the team standing in the middle were. Hotch was walking through the room enunciating the profile of the unsub they were looking for, after managing to have enough information to form one.

Each word, each characteristic, would, or not, lead to the matter that had filled him for a week; he had tried for multiple times not to let the case reach him, it rarely did, and in that case, as it was mentioning a sensible matter, it wasn’t the most pleasant week at work, not really the kind of week he had imagine he’d had; especially not a one including a heavy mention of addiction with drugs that the victims had, and possibly the unsub as he knew specific types, and how to dose them enough to give a fatal dose. He either used them personally, or simply had knowledge of them: this fact couldn’t be confirmed yet.

“The unsub we’re looking for is most possibly a white male in his 30-40s, he [...] a stable situation, based on the frequency of the attacks, most of them being within working hours, and for a [...], killing people that don’t correspond to the type of victims he does his usual m.o; he’s perturbed, he knows people [...] ease in public, and probably may feel easily threatened and perturbed if someone [...], subjects that may trigger traumatism, causing him to become dangerous, and harm fatally other people if not controlled-”

Spencer hadn’t even listened to half of what he had just said, what he had been thinking about was taking more place in his mind than any other case would whenever he’d work to analyze it.

He had let himself get distracted, not daring to pay attention to his surroundings, to the point he hadn’t even seen y/n standing next to him, a worried expression plastered on her face.

Is it that obvious?

Is it obvious to the point she could notice it without profiling me? Or has she…?

“Spence, I think that we should head out for a moment.” She quietly said, grabbing the sleeve of his cardigan. “You don’t look okay. Are you alright?”

Am I?

“Uh...yeah, I-I’m doing fine, just a bit tired.”

“Everyone is, but I can clearly see it isn’t the same type.” She tightened her grip on his sleeve, pulling him out of the room.

After she had managed to find an empty room, y/n had opened it, pulling Spencer inside as she closed the door, before closing the blinds that could allow someone from the exterior to see the room. She had noticed the lock on the door, not hesitating to pull it towards the right to lock the room.

She looked at him, eyes tearing up. She placed a word before he had even gotten to.

“Spence, you know that...it’s okay if you’re...not okay, right?” She asked, hesitant.

“What...what do you mean?”

“You can tell me, it’s okay if you’re not okay. There is, no shame, to not be.” She said, as she sat on the seat next to her, Spencer following her action a second later. “..since when is it bothering you?” She placed a hand on his, rubbing circles with her thumb.

“When we...found out about the addiction matter, not long after we began working on the case. I don’t know why I stayed stuck on this.”

“Why didn’t you talk about it? If you had preferred to talk to someone else, I wouldn’t have been mad if you had gone to JJ, I know you guys have always been close.”

“I just thought that...I would bother everyone by adding my problems on top of the ones we already have. And I...didn’t know how to explain it.”

“And you didn’t want me to worry, right?” She asked, as he nodded. “I know that I worry about anything, but if it was about that, you know that I would have listened, and did my best to help, even though I wasn’t here when it had occurred. But I want you to know that I’m not mad about the fact you didn’t talk about it; I understand you.”

“I know you do. But, I was afraid you wouldn’t get it, or overstress because of it, because god knows that you stress about the tiniest thing,” He joked, earning a small chuckle from y/n. “But I just...kept thinking about it. The more I’d tell myself to stop thinking about it, the more it’d stay. I didn’t tell you everything about it, you just know about the livestream, and what the team had seen; and I...you know the next part, I had a problem with dilaudid; I had attempted to drug myself again, in the bathroom of an office, not long after. If Hotch hadn’t called me, I think that I would have done it.”

“But you didn’t, you managed to get the strength to stop. And you still have it now. We’re also here to give you the strength you need, support, whatever includes helping you. We’ve always been here, it won’t ever change. And even if we have a case, we’ll find a minute to talk with you. You never, but never, bothered us.”

“You sure…?”

“Absolutely. So here’s what we’re gonna do, we’re going to go back to the room; and go through the case. I would have wished that I could tell you to completely stop working, but we have to catch him before he does more damage. But after it’s done, we’ll get back home; talk about it, stay together, whatever could make you feel better. Because it’s okay to ask for help when you really think you need it, there’s no shame. I know that it’s complicated for you to talk about your problems in general, but if you feel like you need to talk to someone, we’ll be there, all of us.”

“Yeah, I know. But, I feel like how I felt a few days after it happened, when I was in the room with him, every single word, what he did to me, and...when I shot him. I still can’t erase the look he had on his face; I just…” He inhaled, wiping a stray tear from his eye. He wasn’t the type to get emotional in front of other people, but when he was with y/n, it didn’t matter. “I...still think that I shouldn’t have split up with JJ, she could have gotten killed by these dogs if she didn’t have ammo. I still think that it’s all my fault.”

“It’s not Spencer. I know you still feel guilty, she felt guilty as well too when you got abducted; and even though I know you can’t erase what happened, everything is over, both of you are safe. I’m not a good talker, I know, but, to resume, I’m gonna help you with what you’re going through, you’re not alone. You’ll even take a week off if you need one, your health comes first; okay?”

“Yeah. Okay.”

“Do you think you can go back, or do you need to go outside for a bit?”

“No, It’s ok, I can go back.”

“Okay, let’s go then.” She said, as she took his hand, their fingers interlocking: as Spencer felt the warmth of her hand against his skin.

He liked feeling her warmth, it really was comforting, and would- somehow - chase the nightmares away, for a bit.

He doesn’t believe that the pain will go away, his addiction problem never went away, even though he didn’t use any drugs anymore.

It won’t ever go fully, it’ll always stay, deep inside.

But hopefully, her presence can possibly make it go away, make him forget, at least for while,

So it won’t always be colder on his own.

__________________

Tags: @writing-in-april ;

#criminal minds s2 ep15 #criminal minds #criminal minds cbs #criminal minds fic #criminal minds angst #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencersblog

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blushingreid · 5 years ago

Text

Eye Love You

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

A/N: shout out to @pumpkin-goob for this request💛 I absolutely love it bc I’m blind af, so it’s a vibe. S2 Spence always has a special place in my heart. Pls enjoy & slide me feedback <3

Note: I use the technical term for the equipment: phoropter (in case you’re privileged with 20/20 vision or you’re like me & just called it the eye machine your whole life).

“You know, three out of every four adults require glasses or contacts. Of the 75 percent of adults that need vision correction, 64 percent of them wear eyeglasses, while 11 percent wear contac-,” Spencer’s ramble cut short as he clumsily bumped into a display entering the eye doctors.

“Easy there Pretty Boy. Can’t have you wrecking your good looks,” Morgan teased, steering him towards the receptionist’s desk.

“Hi, what brings you in today?” the man at the desk asked, not even bothering to look up.

“Um I have an appointment for new glasses for Spencer Reid.”

The receptionist gave Spencer a nod before tapping away on the computer. After a couple minutes of awkward silence, he finally looked up at them. “So from our records it appears that you need to have your eyes examined for any changes in your prescription before we can get you new glasses. Just have a seat in the waiting room and the optometrist should be out soon.”

Spencer sighed as he and Morgan headed towards the waiting room. He just wanted to be able to see clearly and it wasn’t even his fault.

His glasses had gotten knocked off his face and crushed during one of the BAU’s recent cases. Spencer had been chasing after an unsub when out of nowhere, the unsub’s partner struck Spencer. Next thing he knew, he was basically blind.

Hotch had given Spencer the next couple days off until he got new glasses, since he wasn’t much help blindly stumbling around the bullpen. Morgan had volunteered to be Spencer’s “guide dog” until he regained his vision.

“Spencer Reid?” The optometrist called out.

Spencer looked up at the blurry figure and shyly waved his hand.

“Hi, I’m Doctor y/n y/l/n and I’ll be doing your examination. If you could follow me and we’ll get you checked out.”

“She’s very cute,” Morgan whispered in Spencer’s ear.

“Since all I see is her silhouette, I’ll take your word for it,” Spencer whispered back before getting up and following her. Morgan chuckled as he watched Spencer try his best not to bump into anything.

Once he made it safely into the examination room and onto the chair, Spencer turned towards y/n. He involuntarily squinted his eyes, hoping it would temporarily clear his vision long enough so he could assess her. Unfortunately, it didn’t do much.

“I see you’re here for new glasses. Any particular reason why?” Y/n asked as she cleaned and set up the phoropter.

Spencer felt embarrassed all over again, remembering why he needed new glasses. “Yeah uh they got ruined in a work incident,” he nervously laughed off.

“Well your job must be very interesting and hectic,” y/n replied before pushing the phoropter towards Spencer. “Please place your chin up on this bar, and lean forward until your forehead rests on the cushion. I’ve added your latest prescription, so we can see if there are any changes.”

Spencer placed his chin onto the cool surface, leaning forward so his forehead touched the cushion letting him see into the phoropter. He heard a small click before the darkness he saw in the machine was filled with light, and a clear view of the television on the room’s wall with rows of letters in various sizes displayed.

“Great! Can you see clearly now?” Y/n asked, wheeling her chair directly in front of Spencer and the phoropter.

Oh he could definitely see clearly and he certainly liked what he saw, given the heat that immediately coursed through his body once y/n came into his line of sight. It was most certainly love at first eyesight. Y/n was breathtakingly beautiful. Spencer had never seen anyone more perfect than her. He mentally appreciated the dimly lit examination room.

“Yes, uh things are much clearer now,” Spencer quickly said, realizing he had completely zoned out. Spencer was relieved and filled with glee that he would be able to admire y/n without her realizing it, through the phoropter.

“Perfect! I’m sure you know the drill with this thing, but I’ll explain it anyways. So I’m gonna block out your left eye first and each round, I’ll switch between two different lenses and each time you’ll tell me which one is clearer. Then, we’ll repeat the process with your other eye after,” y/n explained before flipping and turning the many parts of the machine to block out Spencer’s left eye.

A tiny hint of sadness hit Spencer when he realized he’d only get to admire her one eye at a time.

“Okay one or two?” Y/n asked as she flipped between the two lense options.

Spencer immediately saw that option two was clearer, but he didn’t want his time with y/n to be over too soon. “Um could you do that again, a couple more times?”

“Yes, no worries. Sometimes these are very close, so just let me know if you need more time or repeats.”

And so he did. What should’ve been a quick 10 minute examination became a 40 minute one. Not that y/n minded, she found Spencer very attractive and his presence quite comforting. Normally, she would’ve told a patient that they could say if they thought both were similar, and they’d immediately move on. However, she didn’t mind spending more time with Spencer. She just assumed he was an indecisive person. After the exam, she discovered that his prescription barely changed from his last one.

“We’re putting a rush on your glasses, since they were your only pair and you still want the same frames. You’ll receive a call letting you know in the next couple days when they’re ready,” y/n said as she lead Spencer out of the room back to the main lobby.

“Pretty boy! What took you so long? You said this would only take at most twenty minutes. I’m starving,” Morgan whined before extending his hand to y/n. “Hi there, I’m Derek Morgan, Spencer’s coworker, best friend, and current guide for his blind ass.”

“It was a pleasure to meet both of you, and good luck with your new glasses,” y/n said after shaking Morgan’s hand and giving them, mostly directed at Spencer, a kind smile.

As she turned to walk away, Morgan nudged Spencer. “Um hello, are you really going to let her get away without asking her out? There’s a chance you might not cross paths for a long time.”

“I can’t. I’m not good at that type of stuff like you are,” Spencer sighed, turning to look at y/n one last time. He wanted to remember every detail about her before he leaves.

“How about you just be yourself and ask her out,” Morgan advised. He was not going to let Spencer walk away from this woman. “Hey Doctor y/n!” Morgan yelled, before shoving Spencer towards her. “Spencer here has a question about his uh retinas that he forgot to ask.”

Y/n turned towards her name being called and was met with Spencer stumbling into her arms. As she helped steady him, she felt a blush rise to her face at the sudden close proximity they were in.

“Uh sorry about that,” Spencer apologizes as he steps back. “Ignore what he said. I uh actually came over because um I think you’re very b-beautiful and you i-intrigue me. A-Anyways, I was wondering if you would maybe um like t-to go out to dinner uh sometime. I completely understand if you don’t want to though.”

Y/n smiled at Spencer’s adorable nervousness as he asked her out. She’d been waiting all appointment long for him to ask her. After waiting a couple seconds, pretending to contemplate his invite, y/n slid her card in Spencer’s hand before leaning up to his ear.

“Call me once you can see again.”

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ravenadottir · 4 years ago

Note

Do you have any um.. 😳

vampire headcanons for the S2 LI's? 👀

fucking hell aly!

let’s jump right into it! this has been in my drafts for far too long lol

‘gary’

a hybrid between werewolf and vampire, and here’s why:

the number of people he bedded. he’s too young to have such high numbers, although, i don’t think it goes beyond the hundred something, but still!!

how fucking pale he is, despite of the time he spends under the spanish punishing sun

he loves biting and i’ve been pointing that out since the beginning, ever since the first kink list anons have asked

he likes watching the shipyard?? NO. HE LIKES SCOUTING FOR BLOOD TO SUCK, MY GUY. who does he think he’s fooling??

nan could easily be the one who turned him, and stuck around to guide him through a life of honest vampirism. (you know, suck their blood but ask first, nd give back to the community by serving in the soup kitchen)

girls that never see him as a potential? were never bitten by him so the news wouldn’t be spread! they never come back not because they don’t see him as a potential boyfriend, but because they had nightmares and night terrors after the sex! WHO WOULDN’T COME BACK FOR SECONDS, MY FELLOW SIMP?? riddle me that!

vampires have all sorts of power, and it’s still odd to me a petit girl like mc could ever bench him, unless, he made himself lighter so she wouldn’t lose face on that challenge. she can’t bench press elisa, and that girl weights less than my pen! i reckon he used his powers so later he could use his powers.

dog person, and so playful he’s actually one! hence, half werewolf!

doesn’t like cats and will eat them if one comes near him.

‘lucas’

his sexual magnetism. every lucas stan says the same things about him, even though the game canonically doesn’t give us as much. “kinky” “best at sex” “sexy as fuck” “would kill a man that came near us” “the most volatile” even though none of those has ever happened. he’s hypnotising us through sex!

his kiss is undeniably sexy, and described as unique and hot. gary’s is alien (so it’s new and different) but vampires are known for seducing and enticing, and that’s what lucas does at all times

we saved him, even after he brought a girl back. face it! we’re under his spell!

once, i researched how much the islanders make with their occupations, and found out lucas makes less money than bobby. how come he has his own place, so many quality products, expensive brand clothes, unless... he’s been working since ever to accumulate such fortune!?

he says he was a school brat and that’s why he didn’t know what a pillow fort was. THAT’S A LIE TO COVER UP THE FACT HE’S SO OLD HE DOESN’T EVEN REMEMBER IF HE’D EVER BUILT ONE, MY DUDE!

why is he so good in bed having such a low bodycount? because he’s had at least three human wives that died on him!! and that’s why he has trust issues.

do you ever see lucas eating???? do you????? no! gary eats constantly, and lucas doesn’t want you to kiss him after breakfast. “it’s rough.” i’ll tell you what’s rought: lucas feeling sick about food, not you after eating!

lucas’ shirt ios honestly a giveaway. there’s so much sunblock you can put on before it gets suspicious, so that’s why he doesn’t take his shirt off!

cat person!!

‘lottie’

pale.

irritable because she forgot to pack her blood supply.

calls herself lottie but truly only responds to charlotte. her master knows this is the only name she goes as.

out of fucking nowhere she has a cape. the only one that probably threatened the producers’ physical integrity to have another piece of clothing, and from all possibilities, she got a BLACK TRANSLUCENT CAPE??? VAMPIRE!! WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!

only thinks of sex, and not emotional connections.

doesn’t mention anyone by name, except for her pet tarantula and a “billy”, who no onE knows WHO they are, except they’re a close mate. that’s her master!!

bisexual. (that’s already reason enough, but whatever)

connects so easily with hannah because book girl reminds her of a simpler time in her own life, when she was running through meadows in search of flowers, b before she was turned!!

cat person!!!!!!!!!!

‘kassam’

he’s a vampire and you’re descending from a slayer lineage, and that’s why he rejects you all the time!! he’s not a unicorn, he’s a bloodsucker of the worst family in england!! (it has to the that, right?? nothing to do with our personality, it’s the vampire slayer thing!!)

hates dogs, don’t at me! look at him and tell me this motherfucker is a dog person. nope!

involuntarily hates felix because the boy is a puppy! a canine! a dog! one of the enemy clans!

‘carl’

he’s always in that ridiculous position because he’s protecting his chest, my dude!! he doesn’t want his heart to turn into a corndog, and that’s why he be cramping but won’t lower those hands!

the first time you have sex, he’s behind you. he needed to conceal his red eyes from his excitement while having sex with you!

doesn’t - know - how - to - emote. he’s new vampire so he’s still not used to this life and how to deal with humans, my friend!

the bags under his eyes prove he hasn’t fed in a while. that’s why he goes missing on one of the afternoons! banner shmanner! he was feeding on one of the production crew!

notice how clueless and awkward he’s during the day, but relaxed and confident he is at night! he’s struggling to keep himself together under the sun, but once the moon is out, so is confident carl!

cat - person - don’t - at - me!!

‘henrik’

pale.

long hair.

smells amazing even though he sweats like a pig, no matter what the situation is?? that sounds like extra pheromones to me! he’s enchanting us with the scent of lavender, that’s so calming, so he can intoxicate us and bite us before we notice!

he HAD to give pupperino back! because his clan of vampires forbid him of having a friendship with the canines! hello!

he was upset because he believes vampires and werewolves can live with each other!

always outdoors? in the middle of nowhere??? an actual instructor of how to survive in the wilderness, yet so young?!?! that’s because he’s the predator, people!

‘noah’

who knows so much about literature if someone who actually has been alive for so much longer??

the guy works in a library, away from the modern world commotion and noise.

he likes staying close to the books not because of the objects they are, but because he can still remember the time they were written by his fellow writers! he feels an emotional connection with the books because he presenced the birth of them and knows the true hardship it was to lose those companions!

only a vampire to not have found love but experimented and known lust! this is why he has to have you, on the roof terrace. he can’t deny himself of the need of having you any longer. he’d never experienced that sort of craving, and now he finally knows what love is!

romford is the last place people go! why is he still living there?? unless is to hide his true nature!

he didn’t do shit and still got us simping? HELLO! VAMPIRE! full of tricks, i tell you! why else would we be melting over a guy that only glances at our direction?!!?

no toxic masculinity? vampires have lived enough to see where that takes ya!

man, i had too much fun doing these! sorry for taking so long, i was struggling a bit with my pain.

#litg carl #litg lucas #litg gary #litg noah #litg kassam #litg henrik #litg #love island the game #love island the game season 2 #litg s2 #litg season 2 #fusebox #fusebox games #queue #vampires #yum #tw: blood

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b-rainlet · 4 years ago

Text

I am way too inactive and there's a bunch of stuff I wanted to add to/answer/react to that I'm simply to tired to do BUT

I will finally make the Jerome post I was thinking about since watching the freaking show.

(As a disclaimer I watched this show once and I probably don't remember everything and I am also super nervous and a little bit stupid so pls don't yell if I'm totally wrong).

@nsfwitchy2 is currently rewatching and she was referencing the 'We are all Jerome' bit and I just. There's a lot of thoughts in my head about that.

Because I do really love how they set up Jerome's cult and how it's been developing in the bg ever since his stint at the GCPD.

I am a big sucker for the whole 'leaving a legacy' thing, especially the general idea that the Joker is way more than just a person and rather a mindset - and I do like the Red Hood Episode for the exact same reason - but I was just thinking....

What if it doesn't work?

Like, S2 Jerome is working for Theo. S2 Jerome doesn't necessarily believe in everything he says and does, he's just playing up the bad guy so Theo can be the hero.

Theo picked their name. Theo picked their outfits. Theo orchestrated their schemes. He personally chose Jerome to be the 'leader' after he let everyone audition.

Is it such a big stretch to think he also wrote Jerome's infamous speech?

I mean, it probably does dip into Jerome's personal beliefs since he continues on similarly with his cult in S3 but I personally think the speech sounds a bit...too pompous for an 18 year old. Especially because S2 Jerome is a lot more carefree and a lot less 'seeing the big picture'.

(There's also something in my head whispering about how Jerome uses the cult for the carnival but in S4 he has the ulterior motive of wanting to find Jeremiah and teams up with the League and how he may believe that 'There are no heroes' but how that's not exactly the same as his S2 Speech about cogs in a machine but I am leaving that for people like Maisie who are smart and articulate).

Anyway

All of this rambling for me to propose how the cult plot could've gone badly for Jerome aksbsnsn

I mean. He is charismatic. He is good at captivating an audience.

But he also just came back from the dead and he's in pain and I just think it would've been super interesting if they wouldn't have accepted him as their 'messiah'.

Following scenarios I would've enjoyed seeing (even though I like what we got):

A. Jerome comes back and everyone expects a speech similar to the GCPD one. But Jerome didn't write that one himself. And maybe he doesn't know what to say exactly or he says the wrong thing - because all his followers had a year to imagine what meeting him would be like and how he would behave and they know his GCPD speech by heart and also think he believes all of that so what if he's not what they expect him to be?

What if they don't accept him?

What if they decide they don't wanna follow him?

What if they get mad? Call him an imposter? Cast him away?

And either they just think he fooled them all or word actually gets spread that he had someone who made all the decisions for him and either way, Jerome is having a real bad, horrible time lmao.

B. Which is the initial thought I had when Dwight was introduced and had the - totally not weird, nooo - idea to cut off Jerome's face because 'They are all Jerome'.

Because what if.

What if.

It actually works.

Jerome isn't a person, he stopped being a single person when he became leader of the maniax and 'his' ideology spread through the city.

So Jerome comes back, ready to take the reigns but...

No one listens to him.

They're all Jerome, he isn't special anymore.

(And the fucking chaos that would ensue if everyone believes they're Jerome and starts behaving like him and pulling off similar schemes and the GCPD would have such a hard time finding the actual Jerome especially because even before he came back, his followers liked to dress like him).

That's actually what I would've loved to see, especially because...how would Jerome react? In general of course because he is pretty much nothing without his followers but also specifically when everyone is Jerome.

Would he try to kill them? Would he love the chaos of it all or would he hate not being in the limelight?

Also how likely would the cult be to survive without a leader? Even without Jerome, they had Dwight and Jerome as some kind of Messiah but when everyone is Jerome, whatever they say goes so who actually calls the shots? Do they quarrel among each other? Do they all do their own thing?

Which also brings me to:

C. The cult has an own dynamic.

(Which also has several points to it, I have thought about this but I rarely have the motivation to write it all down aksbsjs).

1. From the little glimpses we see of the cult (like when Bruce walks into this..rave?? When he's looking for Matches Malone) it seems like it's more of a party cult.

Like...meet up, drink alcohol, do drugs, talk shit about rich people and dance.

And even though it's based on the actions of a ruthless murderer I feel like, with time, the brutality of it would get watered down and Jerome would be the 'messiah' of a cult that's super removed from what he actually wanted to stand for.

So when he comes back, he starts his big speech but all the people who should follow him simply...don't. It's too bloody, too violent, too unhinged, too dark.

So they stop worshipping him.

2. The cult is split up in different groups.

There are people who use Jerome as a stand-in to push their own agenda so their beliefs differ from the 'original' ones.

There are people (like Dwight) who are obsessed with bringing Jerome back. There are others who think bringing him back would destroy his role of martyr who's death was the defining factor in birthing this cult.

There are people who wanna pick up where Jerome left off and do things like, attack the GCPD and kill some politicians and there are others who believe that while Jerome was right in pointing out how trapped they all are, murder isn't the answer.

And they're so caught in fighting among each other that they're no real threat. And Jerome can't unify them because a lot of them simply don't want him as the leader/believe in him/ever thought of him as anything more than a misguided kid with good points, possibly a prophet.

(There are also some people who see other members of the Maniax as the true leaders and Jerome simply as the spokesperson).

Anyway, I probably forgot half the stuff I wanted to say originally but I just think that there were so many possible ways the cult plot could've gone (especially since the cult developed without their leader present and in an open environment which is...not how cults usually operate) and I wanted to make a (way too long) post about it.

Thanks for reading!

#Long Post #Jerome Valeska #Maniax

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tomodachimeter · 4 years ago

Text

Answering old asks

m(__)m

That is all.

Emojis aside, I really am so very sorry it’s taken me so long to get around to responding to messages since the manga ended, I’ve been extremely busy in my personal life so it was kind of all I could do to cope with the manga ending during that time too, haha. As of now even the last volume and fanbook are already out, but I’ll leave a few comments on the messages I’ve been sent as they were. I’m also grouping together messages that are more of readers’ own comments rather than questions for me and responding all at once, so please forgive me if I couldn’t get around to responding individually!

“My heart pains to seeing the end ahahhhhh ashiya and abeno parted waysI really really really hope for something to come next. it kinda feels sad for meabt this ending”

“Honestly I like the ending but I didn’t like how the author left out information about abeno’s background. For instance, what happen to his parents?, where did he come from?, how did he come meeting Ao?,etc. I really wanted to see all of that, including how ashiya told his mom and sister about sakaes death. Other then that, I REALLY LOVE THE PROPOSAL!!! What is with shouen manga/anime with these different type of propsals like, “I’ll skate infinity with you”, “ I will die so you won’t be alone”,etc. Like COME ON!!! I also want to see a adult ashiya and abeno 🙏.”

I feel the same, I love the ending in its own way but I also expected so much more and I wanted to see more of their adventures. So I respect sensei’s decision but that just means it’s a free-for-all in terms of headcanons after!!

“Now that the manga has ended, I really wish the anime hadn't screwed up with the season 2 ending, so we could have gotten a continuation... I really miss animated Fuzzy running around, Ashiya's screaming and Abeno's "Hah?" (´꒳`)♡”

I wonder what they’d do for a season 3 if it ever came to pass. There are a few ways they could go about it like kind of just continuing down the manga, or they could ignore what they animated at the end of s2 and then keep going (Ao no Exorcist style), or I don’t even know, honestly. No matter how dissatisfied I am with how they do anime, I’d still watch it though. :U

“Wow I can't believe it took me so long to realize this! Recently, I noticed that the dynamic between Hanae-Sakae-Aoi-Abeno and the plot revolving around them is very similar to what happens in the manga Switch (Kai-his dad-Hal's dad-Hal). The relationship between Kai and Hal is similar to Hanae and Abeno's. Kai's dad died and this is related to Hal's dad, who has survived thanks to the death of his friend (Kai's dad). Plus Kai manifests what seems to be his dad's personality when he's in danger.”

“So much tears! I really don't want this to end, but I knew it was too good to be true. Though, the way the way the manga ended felt like a new beginning. Hanae made a promise/vow to Itsuki that he will return, no matter how long it takes, so he hopes Itsuki will wait for him. Also, that picture of Sakae and Aoi on the counter makes me hope that Hanae and his family (plus Sakae in heaven) has peace now. I felt like crying more. Thank you for everything and I hope to see you again!”

“ok rip Abeno's past... rip yellow eyes... rip this cliffhanger ending...“

“Suddenly I see that anon ask about OPs and EDs and partings & separations in a new light... darn. (╯°Д °)╯╧╧”

Fittingly enough, Sensei mentioned in the fanbook that Mononokean has always been a story about meetings and partings too, but still...! More...!!!

“I think this ending is very fitting. Ashiya was never truly part of the youkai world, he was always taking one step in only to step out soon after, and going back and forth between loving youkai and being afraid of them. Ashiya's state of employment has always had a "temporary" feeling to it, including, for example, the fact that he never changed his clothes, and his Mononokean-crest clothes were "borrowed". UItimately, Ashiya didn't seem like he could dedicate his life to youkai, unlike Abeno. (continuing from my previous ask about "Ashiya not being part of the youkai world") It wasn't only Ashiya's feelings on the matter that kept him away from the world of youkai. Abeno contributed greatly to this, as he constantly tried to keep Ashiya away from the Underworld, from danger, from knowing too much, and from youkai themselves, even though Ashiya was technically his employee. If Abeno had tried, even a little, to pull Ashiya into his world, Ashiya would have responded to him, I'm sure. (another "Ashiya not being part of the youkai world" ask) The fact Abeno actively blocked Ashiya from his world was the greatest reason why Ashiya didn't feel like he belonged there. But he still felt connected to Abeno, at least. Rather than dedicate his life to youkai, Ashiya seemed like he might dedicate it to Abeno. Yet this feeling was also met with a wall. By the time Abeno realized how precious it was, having someone who saw the same things as him by his side, it was already too late. (last ask in the series "Ashiya not being part of the youkai world") Ironically, the Mononokean and most other youkai were more open and willing to welcome Ashiya into their world. Still, if and when Ashiya can see youkai again, I hope Abeno will have realized the opportunity he'd wasted. When these two reunite, I hope Abeno won't push Ashiya away again. That's all. I wanted to share these thoughts with you. Please let me know your opinion on the matter. Thank you for reading! :)”

I think you’re right on point with the themes you’ve pointed out and I believe that’s what Sensei was going for too, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s terribly lonely for them to be separated from each other. ___(:3 At least we’re left with a (high) possibility of them getting back together (heh) and even moreso with the fanbook extra content too, so here’s to their continued adventures.

“I am not sure if you are familiar with this anime/manga/light novel series “No. 6” because the end of the Mononokean manga series appears similar to the end of the former in terms of the bond between the two male leads if you get what I mean.”

I know of it and it’s something I’ve always meant to get around to watching, but I have not seen it yet!

“Nooo, I can't believe it's over! 😭 But you know, ever since FNM's ending was announced, I've been looking for something to fill the void this precious story would inevitably leave in my heart, and then someone said "Watch Natsume Yuujinchou, the themes are similar and it's heartwarming". So I started it and, oh boy, I've been screaming at every episode because I'm not used to people openly showing their affection! 😂 So much hugging, hand-holding, head-patting... I'm melting!! (send help pls)”

“Hello Spring! We've reached the end of this wonderful journey, it seems. It's time for a new start. Thank you so much for everything you've done for this fandom, it wouldn't have been the same without you! Seriously, thank you, from the bottom of my heart! 😌 (PS: I forgot to mention, I opened this blog on my old old laptop, with its 1280x720 resolution, and the "ON YOUR OWN, BUT NOT ALONE" strip was right there covering Ashiya's and Abeno's faces, I had such a good laugh! I'm sorry I laughed!!)”

“This ending was really beautiful and yet sad. The promise made me hope but.. it's still so angst that maybe it will take years to hanae be able to see yokais again. I wonder if wazawa-sensei is okay, like, usually when a manga is ending they advertise previously, but the news was so suddenly that made me worry about sensei's health status. I also don't think that the publisher canceled the manga. So, I still don't know if this sudden ending was planned or not.”

Haha when I first made that tumblr theme, I kind of liked the effect that the strip had in covering Ashiya and Abeno’s faces somehow, but it always moves around depending on resolution lol.

In the afterword of the last volume and the fanbook, Sensei touched lightly on their various reasons for ending the manga (which I plan to cover eventually... when I have time...) and while I don’t think we’ll ever know fully, I got the impression that sensei personally seems in good health and even expressed that they would like to make another manga in the future, so as readers and fans we don’t need to worry too much.

“The manga ended well but we are left with unanswered questions : What is Abeno's past ? / Are golden eyes and hair special ? / What about Aoi's face ? / What really happened the day Aoi came back injured ? At this time she wasn't infected but Sakae died trying to save her (something is wrong with the plot) ?! / What about Fuzzy gender and his "human form" ?”

I will just say we got answers to some of those questions in the fanbook, and some we did not. :Y Please hold on for fanbook info!

Hey there. I’ve just read through the last chapter of the Mononokean. What a story. There are still a few questions that left me wondering: (1) What is the origin of the Mononokean itself?, (2) What is the origin of the Influence that flows within specific characters of the story?, (3) If Aoi was able to provide young Ashiya with a part of Sakae’s “Influence,” could it be done again?, & (4) If Ashiya could still see Fuzzy, what do you think this means for his potential abilities?

1. We were told in the first fanbook that the Mononokean was originally a well-loved tea ceremony room, and as we know in the Mononokean universe (also generally a concept in Japanese culture/religion, you can looked up the term “tsukumogami”), things that are used/loved sometimes end up gaining a sentience of their own, and if I remember right that’s how the Mononokean came to be too. (it’s been a while since I’ve reread the first fanbook so if I’m wrong please do correct me). As for any other specifics, we only know that Aoi and Abeno have been the first and second masters respectively, I’m pretty sure.

2. This was answered in the fanbook, which I’d like to summarize eventually! But Influence seems to be a natural power that develops in babies who have been in close contact with yokai before they were born, and golden hair and eyes are also a sign of that.

3. The partial Sakae Influence (lol wording) that Aoi gave to Ashiya as a baby was what Ashiya returned to Aoi to save them. I suppose since they’ve already done it before it’s technically possible, but that’d defeat the whole purpose of what they tried to do already haha.

4. I think it’s as Abeno theorizes, that Ashiya always did have a bit of ability to sense yokai on his own as well!

“I was looking for more FnM content and found out about your fanfictions on Ao3, so I read them all and oh my Lord! They were *so* good!! And I was very surprised and very glad to find out you ship Ashiya x Abeno, I'm especially happy because you ship them in that order, since I was so sure everybody would be shipping them in reverse order! Thank you so much for sharing your works!! (≧▽≦) ♡”

Thank you for your kind comments, I’m always so happy to hear someone loves my fic! I do love writing them even though I haven’t done it for a while and I have so many ideas and WIPs that I’ve still never gotten around to completely, but I swear I will do them someday... While I do think the reverse order is more popular in general, there’s a decent AshiItsu (the Japanese term for the ship haha) fandom thriving on Twitter!

Again thank you so much everyone! Look forward to fanbook info I’d like to get around to posting about soon!

#fukigen na mononokean #the morose mononokean #ask

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crowleygal · 4 years ago

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Dean and Amara Scene and why it was invented.

I'll never understand how Amara could think that Dean was better off knowing that his mother was a cold, uncaring person was better for him than his memories of his 4 year old self having a warm, loving mother. Dean's life has been filled with so much pain and loss it seems cruel to want to add to that. Especially, only to have her die again and make him go through all that pain all over again.

As for accepting Mary as a real person, Dean told Sam in Dark Side of the Moon that John and Mary's marriage wasn't perfect until after Mary died. It seems like 4 year old Dean had an inkling parents weren't perfect.

This whole thing about Dean not being able to accept his life, where did that come from? Dean is the character on the show who was most adaptable. He didn't have much but he appreciated what he had. Its why he has fond memories of wreaths made of beer cans and giant slinkies. He held on to the necklace Sam gave him for so long. Home to Dean wasn't a white picket fence, it was with John and Sam.

He had no trouble fitting in, whether it was prison or a Hollywood Movie set. He loved whole heartedly. He wanted to make a life with Cassie. He thrived at Sonny's.He immediately made the bunker home. He even found a measure of purity and a connection in Purgatory. (He dropped Benny because of Sam, not Mary). He made a life with Lisa. (If things were hard it's because he was greiving for Sam, and Bobby and Cas lied to him for a whole year about 'Sam' being alive). It had nothing to do with Mary.

His life certainly wasn't empty. He had Sam, John,, Bobby, Jody, Donna, Claire, Charlie, Benny, Crowley (in a weird, frenemy sort of way), Kevin, Garth, Alex, Lisa, Ben, and of course Cas. These people were all in his life before Mary showed up. (Miss me with, they died because he's lost people under Dabb)

Yes, he had some anger, but it seemed it came out more when he felt people disrespecting her memory. Mary hasn't really been a driving force for Dean since s2, and even then he was willing to let go of vengeance to protect Sam.

Honestly, John was the parent Dean needed to stop idolizing. John is the one who brainwashed Dean that only Sam mattered and taught Dean to hate himself. John is the parent who stopped Dean from being happy. (See Cassie).

This whole anger at Mary seems like it would fit better with Sam. He was the one looking for 80s sit com normal. Also Mary sold him out to a demon. He should have some anger over that. This is why Sam feels like he's become a plot point rather than a character. He's devoid of any personality or emotion.

Sam was also the character who was looking for greener pastures and that normal life. It was Dean who made the bunker home, not Sam. Sam, who had no happy memories of his childhood. (Even though he played soccer, was a mathlete and in a play). Sam who pushed his family way looking for 'normal.'

It just feels like Dabb mixed everyhting up with Mary's return.

Dean's always had a temper, I'm not denying that, but the show used to balance it out by showing us Deans' softer side. (Lucas and Timmy to name a couple). He certianly didnt' pull guns on tramautized minors before Amara's "gift". Its like they forgot to write any emotion for Dean accept anger.

If I had to pick a moment when Dean broke, and started to become this angry person, it really was after Mary came back. It was after The Raid when Sam and Mary sided with the people that tortured them, and then manipulated Dean into working for them. (Funny how he has to respect Mary as person when she has no respect for him). When he experienced more rejection, and heart ache and loss. Imagine how much it hurt to find out his few happy memories from childhood, weren't and that Mary was just another person who left him. (Deans' worst fear).

Why is it insulting to Mary as a character to want to see her make her sons a sandwich, but its not insulting Dean to have to bake a cake for his mother's murderer? People squee when Dean does domestic things, but its wrong for every other character.

Dean's been a shell of the character he was before that that ep. Watch Jensen's facial expression after Sam admits he sided with the Brits). Dean regressed right back to s1 and became a people pleaser. Sam and Cas just replaced John. He doesn't help with research anymore or find cases anymore, he stopped trying to make connections with people or caring about the guest star of the week, or saving people or hunting things. All this happened AFTER Mary came back.

So congrats Amara, you did something that John, life, and even hell wasn't able do. You completely, and truly shattered and broke Dean.

#my rambings #spn spoilers #Dean WInchester #Dabb sucks #Amara's gift sucks #15.15 #spn 15x15

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handonhaven · 3 years ago

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I wasn't planning on talking about this, but ever since the trailer and the summery of episode 1 came out certain people have gone into overdrive. Pretty much all the same stuff they always say. "Hope should just dump Landon, he doesn't deserve her love and devotion" 😑😑😑 and "They made Hopes whole story just be about a boy. Why does Landon/Handon get so much screen time over all the other characters?" Etc etc.

Okay look Landon is the only one who's actaully earned Hopes love and devotion. Everyone else just acts as if they're entitled to it. With how they always treat her(very unpopular opinion I know but it's true).

Hopes story has never been all about Landon. It's always been about saving everyone else, doing what's best for everyone. Even if it means sacrificing herself and what she wants/what makes her happy. Season 3 was the first season she actively put herself and what she wants first(and even then she still was doing what was best for everyone else at times). And a part of that just so happens to be Landon because she loves him and he's the one who makes her the most happy. And in 3x05 when Hope was in the therapy box was a whole give a way. That she's just tried and done always putting herself last and sacrificing what she loves(ie Landon and what else she just doesn't want to sacrifice anymore) just to save everyone else. And I honestly don't blame her for some of the things she did in s3, not excusing what she did not at all. But at the same time I don't blame her.

Now what I'm about to say might upset some people but there's two reason why Landon/Handon gets so much screen time is bc 1. Landon is a lead and at the very core of legacies is Handons story, so of course they'll be getting more screen time. And I think 3x16 was trying to drive that home of a lot of people. As well as about a 100 other that have been shown/said throughout the show.

2. The other reason why other characters don't get much screen time or even a storyline is bc more often than not is bc the writers/showrunners just don't really care all that much for those characters. One example of that is Rafael. And as much as I love his character, you can just tell the feeling wasn't the same for them. Bc he was gone for must of s2 and when he was around they made him be all about his feelings for Hope. Same thing goes for the twins. You can just tell that they didn't really want to have them in the show in first place(even Juile herself said she didn't want the twins. But things change I guess). Because they've haven't been doing anything with their characters, they've done more with Cleo's character than they have with the twins. I think the most I've seen them do with the twins was the whole dark Josie storyline. The rest of the time their storylines have been about love interests. I'm not sure if I forgot any of their other storylines bc once s3 hit I just kind of stopped paying attention to their storylines(not bc I don't like their characters but bc their stories just kind of just keep going around in circles and I really don't want to watch the same thing over and over again). And idk if in season 4 they're going to start giving the twins and other characters more screen time/ more storylines but I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't.

Wow sorry that got long haha. But any thoughts on this?

It’s just the same old thing with the antis, can they really not think of anything else to say? But yeah, everything you said. What is it Landon has to do to earn Hope’s love and devotion? You’re so right, he treats Hope far better than any of the other characters do, unpopular opinion or not, that’s the truth. He’s not done anything that’s made him undeserving of her love. And for them to even say that after he went his whole life without being loved is horrible. And I’m so tired of them saying Hope’s storyline revolves around a boy (especially when all most of them want is for her storyline to revolve around Josie), because exactly! They must not be paying attention to the show if they don’t see that Hope’s storyline has always been about her being the hero and saving everyone. Which is why them saying that Landon is all Hope cares about and all she thinks about contradicts her actions throughout the show when she has continuously been there for everyone. And yep, to the point where she has sacrificed her own happiness with Landon for the sake of everyone else. And yes, I loved Hope’s development in s3 because she was finally putting herself and her happiness first. And that didn’t mean that she no longer cared about her friends because, like you said, she was still trying to be there for them and do what was best for them too. And exactly, Landon is the one who makes Hope happy, and I felt so bad for her in the therapy box in 3x05. That really did say it all, you could definitely tell that she’s so tired and just wants to be happy for once. And same with in 3x10, when she said “we can never just be happy,” it never seems to end for her. And I don’t blame her for what she did in s3 either. And you’ve also gotta consider that everyone had pushed her into a position where she was most desperate and left with no other options. Plus she also didn’t even think Lizzie or Josie would be in danger in 3x08, and she believed they could make it until the dark magic started to infect them and then she apologized. But what she did still ultimately ended up saving Landon from the prison world, otherwise they may never have found another way if they hadn’t created a rift.

And very true about screen time for Handon. People still refuse to believe that Landon is the male lead despite Aria’s name appearing right after Danielle’s in the credits and Julie literally saying that they casted Aria to be the leading man of Legacies when he auditioned for TO. Both Hope and Landon are the leads of the show, and yep, their story is the main story, so obviously it’s gonna get more focus. And yes, that’s been made clear throughout the show.

It does seem like the writers don’t care as much about the other characters. And I love Raf too, don’t get me started on the way they treated him. And it’s so weird because it seemed like they had bigger plans for him at the beginning. It took them a while to find Peyton, if I remember right. And I thought he and Landon were gonna be the brothers of the show, it seemed like they were setting up a love triangle of sorts with them and Hope (not that I wanted that), but then, like you said, he was hardly in s2. It’s like they scrapped any plans they had for him and didn’t know what to do with him after s1, even though there was so much potential.

And yeah, same with the twins. But idk if Julie said she didn’t want the twins on the show? I just thought having them on the show, at least as mains, wasn’t always part of the plan. They had always talked about a “Hope spinoff,” no mention of the twins. Julie had said Hope and the twins wouldn’t be friends because of the age gap. And from 5x12 of TO, I’d guess they hadn’t planned on them being mains for Legacies at that point either, otherwise they wouldn’t have made the age gap so obvious. And they had no interactions between Hope and the twins either, yet they made sure to establish a relationship between Hope and Landon in that episode. So I do feel like Handon was always part of the plan and they most likely decided to have the twins be main characters later on. And that really does show because they don’t seem to know what to do with them anymore either. True, they definitely did more with Cleo last season than the twins, and I do feel like the dark Josie storyline was the last real storyline they had. And I agree, their storylines now mostly have to do with love interests, and they do feel repetitive or just like they’re not going anywhere. And people will complain about Handon being repetitive, but look at what they do with the other characters, it’s far worse. Despite there being some repetition with Handon, like with them being separated and being put through horrible things all the time, there’s still development and progression. But with the rest of the characters, I feel like there’s hardly any progression at all. I feel like they’ve even gone backwards with some of the characters as well, especially last season. I actually thought the writing for the twins, and all the characters, was pretty good in s1. I liked all the characters and was interested in their storylines, but now, especially after s3, I’m just not interested anymore. S3 really changed my mind about some of the characters tbh, mostly because of the way they treated Landon and Hope. So idk if they’re gonna give the other characters more screen time or better storylines in s4 either. But honestly, because some of the characters have kinda been ruined for me, I’m not even sure if I’d care much if they did give them more of a storyline. I’m really just watching for Hope and Landon at this point, ngl. But hopefully, for everyone else’s sake, they can do more for the other characters next season that other fans will enjoy.

#answered

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electricbluebutterflies · 4 years ago

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Kabby + knows your schedule from the back of their heads (and gets shocked when there is a sudden change to your routine)

Yay post-s2 grayspace. Content warning for vague talk of suicide. PG-ish and also on ao3.

As always, the dynamic is effortless and unspoken.

Abby may not like her counterpart yet – is that a safe enough word for him? does it cover enough ground? – but the upside of having been at war with him for the past decade is that man is predictable. Even in an entirely new environment, even with a less defined role in their systems, Marcus thrives on routine. By the time she’s able to leave her compartment on her own without help, he’s settled into a self-inflicted schedule that not even the unpredictability of life on the ground can throw off for very long.

She knows, a month after her injury and a month after new habits were set, that he stays out of their workspace during peak daylight. This is a newer development – the man he once was kept much stranger hours without much regard to how convenient it was for anyone else, but more recently he seems to have realized that she likes quiet for doing her share of administrative tasks. What few there are, she thinks as she scrolls through the datapad. Again unspoken, again the comfort of knowing each other well enough to know that she hates dealing with the mundane.

But it’s a quiet day, and people know where she is if anything goes wrong enough to need her, so she stays curled up on the battered couch a little longer than usual. She is not the right person to make some of these documented decisions, but at least she’s now more aware of building projects and reenforcing the wall and-

At some point, as fascinating as all those plans are, Abby falls asleep.

When she wakes up, sunset filters through the skylight and she is still alone. This is strange, this change in routine she hadn’t realized she liked. It’s not the first time she’s taken a nap in the workspace, on that couch that is somehow more comfortable than her bed, but every other time she’s woken up with a blanket over her and she knows only one other person has that access to this space and-

Oh. Oh no.

It’s easy to slip into something-is-wrong mode, too easy considering she’s attempting to lead a civilization alongside a sacrificial dumbass who hasn’t outgrown the default masculine invincibility belief that usually fades away well before his current life phase. Marcus is becoming a decent person for the first time since they were tiny, and that may well be the problem because he didn’t try to kill himself (intentionally or as side effect) back when he spent every waking hour making her life a living hell but he sure does now that he’s found better priorities. Abby is fairly sure somebody would’ve come and found her if they’d reached the fallout stage of whatever reckless idea her counterpart is probably up to right now, which means he’s probably doing something questionable right this moment that he didn’t bother to run by anyone else, which means-

She runs. It hurts like hell, the lingering pain in her thigh a reminder that she is too damn fragile for this life she lives, but she runs. Trusts her instincts to guide her to wherever he is, trusts their recent understanding to be enough to talk him out of whatever the hell he-

Somehow she ends up outside the tent he’s claimed as living space, near the wall but not near any of the gates. She’d been surprised weeks earlier when she’d heard he’d taken space like that, less sheltered from the elements, but it suits the midlife crisis they are both trying to pretend he is not having. She hesitates, isn’t sure what she’s about to find, isn’t sure if she should be worried or scary-calm or-

“You can come in.”

Well, at least he’s talking. That’s a good start. Maybe.

She sticks her head in, still unsure what she’s getting into. She hasn’t come out here before, hasn’t needed to, hasn’t-

“Can you please just say whatever you’re trying to glare into that wall?”

Fine. He wants a fight, she can give that.

“Where the hell were you.” Not a question. “I… you usually…”

To his credit, Marcus actually looks surprised, which is not an expression he defaults to when she’s determined to go at him. Again, an easy ten years of picking fights on a regular basis creates certain baselines. Usually his reaction to her confrontations is more like apathy and boredom, here we go again with an eye-roll for good measure. Not this.

“Hunting party hallucinated a lion,” he says like that’s totally normal and hey maybe it is.

“And you didn’t tell me.”

“Didn’t think you needed to-“

“You’re avoiding me, you forgot to inform me of major developments, you-“

“I am not avoiding you!” He motions to the space on the other end of his… bed is really not the word for that pile of who-knows-what, but the closest thing to furniture in the tent. “And you shouldn’t be standing so long.”

Abby hisses, outright growls because she is not taking that kind of advice from the one person in her life who is even more determined to ignore the limits of their body than she is. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine.”

“You know I hate you, right?” she says, almost playful as she slips into the space and sits down anyways. She’s not sure how this is an improvement, but at least her bodyweight isn’t adding to her problems right now.

“So you came all this way to…”

“Make sure you’re okay,” she says too quickly, because if she thinks too much about why she cares this will all fall apart and she will have nothing left. “You’re… predictable. And I like predictable. And today you weren’t.”

“And normally you’re not-“

“And I have gotten used to someone wrapping me up in a blanket when I fall asleep on that couch, okay?”

He’s quiet, too quiet for too long. “Oh.”

They don’t talk about what they are and what they are becoming. There is too much else to do, and there has been that understanding alongside all the rest. Whether they actually care about each other does not matter. Whether it’s even deeper than that… she’s too old for that kind of want, which means he is too. But there are still sparks, still moments of almost crossing that line anyways.

“I can plan around you and know what will happen,” she continues. “And today that fell through.”

“And you’re this wounded because…”

“I didn’t know where you were. And not knowing where you are tends to mean you’re doing something stupid, and you are not allowed to die reckless do you understand?! I need you more than that.”

If she were a different sort of woman, she thinks, she would’ve taken kisses instead of saying that last bit. She’s been perfectly chaste in her widowhood and this pile of questionable blankets would be an acceptable place to end that dry spell. But she can’t take a risk she can’t trust, and she doesn’t, and she wants and she can’t want, and-

“I’m not planning on dying,” he murmurs. “Wouldn’t do that to you.”

She reaches for his hand because she needs something, traces little patterns and watches him try to ignore how cold her fingers are. “You better not, or I’m finding a way to bring back your ghost so I can yell at that too.”

#pixievixen #kabby #ebf writes fic

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what-a-messsss · 4 years ago

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2x3 rewatch

I keep forgetting that Brach is still in S2. Oops. Also, I apparently went to check something in S6 last time I watched something, so it started at 6x2 instead of 2x3 and I yelled. But anyway, on with this mess. “Death Came in Like Thunder” apparently. It sure did.

Ah yes, let us not forget that Branch is MANLEH. This shall be proven to us by him murdering his cousin, Trunk, with big ax. Chop chop, Branch, kill Trunk. But oh no, must also show that he is People Smart, so must also lose because this makes him likable. And many white people clap. Yaaaay. But be sure to say, “I let him win, Ferg,” while your competitor is right next to you, so he almost surely heard you. Good good.

Oh Ferg. Could you look more gormless if you tried? (I mean, probably not, since presumably that was the goal of the actor, so he would have been trying. But still.) Bb.

Heh, nice thematic cut to Walt also chopping wood. And YAY, Henry’s gorgeous truck (and gorgeous self). I’m just going to take a moment to appreciate the fact that Henry rolls up and just helps himself to some of Walt’s thermos of coffee. Because of course he does. But I do so love these touches that they put in that do underline the fact that they are married have been besties for going on 40 years. Also, I love this jacket of Henry’s. The woven top, jean jacket sort of one? Yeah, top 5 costume pieces of his for me. (Also on that list, all basically tied with each other, basically any pants he wears. I am reminded, when they cut back out to a full body shot. Because I am very shallow, and he is very pretty.)

Haaaaaa. And of course Cady talked to Henry before she talked to Walt. Walt is a butthead. And, yeah yeah, she just found out that he’d been lying to her for over a year, but that just proves my point that Walt is a butthead. And we’re back to this whole idea that she left her phone, which just... ugh. No. But Henry’s face when he says that she said that she is safe, and he’s so worried, but still willing to respect her boundaries.

“She is an adult, Walt.” “She’s my daughter.” For fuck’s sake, you jackass, your ADULT daughter; that’s the whole flipping point! Also, that little emphasis on my daughter, pfft. If you didn’t want to feel like she preferred her cool dad to you, maybe try being less of an AAAAAAASSHOLE. And, like, respecting her. Even a weensy little bit.

“Etta Place” I don’t remember if we find out why that’s the ‘assumed name’ that Cady chose, but I’m intrigued. Wait, I just googled. Looooool. She spent years with Butch and Sundance. Nice.

Walt is such a soft touch with teens. *snack crackle pop* that kneecap back into place. Vic starts this scene saying, “The 911 operator,” though, which is interesting, because I was kind of under the impression that Ruby was the main dispatcher, so it would be kind of heartening if she actually had back up with that. ...Or maybe they’re just far enough out that a cell call made would be picked up by a tower farther out and have to be routed back in to the station/them. I have no idea how that actually works. Another rabbit hole for me to totally not go down. Hopefully. Shit. They’ve apparently upped the fine for trespass since the show, though, because it’s $750 (or 6 months in jail) now and Walt says it’s $500.

And once again, we see Vic actually wearing gloves while investigating a suspicious death, and Walt just squinting into the distance helpfully. I suppose “things got bad” in Basque country around WWII, but there has been friction there that dates back before the Spanish Civil War, or even the Carlist Wars the previous century. It did get gnarly with the dictatorship of Franco, and the formation of the ETA in retaliation, though, so yeah. (Francisco Franco is also on the list of people who anybody with a time machine should go back and beat the shit out of.)

Shit, I forgot about the animal death.

Knock knock, no answer. Better just wander in without a warrant. I know that the guy who they know lives there is dead, but still, no fricking warrant; I suppose the worry of a poisoning could count as probably cause?

Gods, but there are moments when I do absolutely adore Vic, and they are usually when she’s taking the piss out of Walt. “Reclusive bachelor chic; you and Marco have the same decorator.” Looool. But also, sad, because Martha has only been gone for a little over a year, and Walt is not the kind of person who would, like, change stuff and get rid of her things, so that’s kind of odd. Maybe Henry and/or Cady went though and put away some of her things to try to help Walt move on? But damn, the ‘excuse you’ look on Walt’s face when she does say it, pffft.

AND AGAIN, Vic wearing gloves, Walt with his bare ass hands picking up the picture of Picasso’s Guernica; can you at least *pretend* you’re a cop, *some* of the time, buddy?

Lol at the barrabilak; they are pretty well by the Rocky Mountains, so it’s probably not all that surprising that Walt’s had some “Rocky Mountain oysters” before.

I had forgotten that Vic had four brothers. But her comment about Sal going off to look after the sheep and how if someone had told her that one of her brothers were dead she “wouldn’t care about any damn sheep,” I don’t know. It kind of annoys me. It’s totally in character for her, which is good, but I think it’s part of what can annoy me about her character. Different people grieve differently, but also, I know she’s only been in Wyoming for a year or two, tops, but how is it so hard to fathom that someone one would be concerned about their livelihood, even in the face of personal tragedy? Just, seeing beyond her own very narrow experience doesn’t seem like something she’s very good at. It would be one thing if she’d framed it as “this is suspicious, and here’s why I think so as a cop,” but it was, “I wouldn’t react that way personally, so it’s sus.”

Sure, be suspicious because there’s a suspicious death and family members are always suspects until ruled out, but approach it like a cop. Or at least think about it from more angles than just your own, not terribly similar experience. You’re a white city cop who can’t (or won’t) adjust to being in BF rural-ville, but these are immigrant shepherds whose family come from a homeland where the cops were just as likely to kill you as answer questions, and you’re side-eying a guy for going to make sure that their meal ticket doesn’t get obliterated?

I need to keep reminding myself that I really did want to like Vic. I really did. She just... they don’t make it easy for me. Maybe she’s serving as an avatar for audience who don’t know about some of the culture stuff, and the audience get answers from her ignorance? But honestly, I wish they’d picked a different way to handle that, if that’s what they were trying to do. Her response to Henry being salty about Thanksgiving still really pisses me off. Because it was shitty and racist, and... do we really need a character basically rolling their eyes and saying, “It was so long ago, why don’t you just get over it,” about something that is intrinsically tied to the genocide of so many people? Why are Indigenous people just supposed to “get over it” but “Remember the Alamo” and “Southern Pride,” and shit? Fuck’s sake. Honestly, that might have been the moment when they lost me on her character. She has moments where she’s awesome, but they never really address her being fucking racist or give her a chance to grow into a better person. Which sucks a lot. Fuck. Ok, that was a lot. Sorry. Back to the actual ep.

AH, nice of you to beam in from the campaign trail, Brancheroo!

Uh, so I paused it to look at pic in the newspaper, and then being me, started to look at the articles surrounding the pic. And the one with the headline “Fans Injured At Local Game” is actually about the Stewart case? From 1x3? I’m guessing that somebody went to the trouble of writing up an article for that for some S1 ep after it and they just plugged it in because when not paused, you might catch “Sheriff Longmire” there and that’s all they need. Especially since the text starts to repeat after the first paragraph. (I am the worst pedantic little shit.) Ooooor, maybe even though it’s S2, it’s hardly been any time since 1x3? The date on the newspaper is March 31, 2012, so there’s a timeline hint.

Awwwwww, once Walt points out the bird, Ferg knows exactly what it is. Occasional twitcher, are we, my lad? “A red-tip meadowlark,” indeed. Oh bb; Ferg’s face when he sees Walt looking at the pic of him with Branch in the paper.

“You go too fast, you miss the little things.” Every once in a while, he actually sort of mentors Ferg. I wish he did more of that, especially since we see later how capable Ferg can be.

Go suck an egg, Branch. Why does she get all the “good” assignments? Maybe because she was actually on the job when they found the body, not campaigning.

OPE. Lizzie’s gift. Yeah, I’d probably choke on that coffee if I were you, too, girl. Better hope that there wasn’t perishable food stuffs in that gift, because that has been in there for a whiiiiiile, hasn’t it. Wait, was Ferg in the office when Lizzie dropped off the gift? Because his face said more than just “Did somebody give Vic a present?” Suuuuper subtle with that whole pushing the drawer closed with your foot there, Vic. Pfffft.

“Cyrano Caballero” How daaaare that skeeve take Cyrano’s name in vain?!?! (I have a thing about Cyrano de Bergerac. It’s quite possibly my favourite play, and I adore the character, and have exactly 0 chill about it at all. I find Brian Hooker’s translation of “The Ballade of the duel at the Hotel Bourgogne Between de Bergerac and a Boeotian” with “Then, as I end the refrian, thrust home,” vastly superior to any other translation that I’ve heard or read, though for the rest of it, I will grant that there are others to be preferred. But that version of his Ballade is exquisite, and I will not be swayed. Holy shit, FOCUS. That is so very much not the point.) It’s not even a throw away line in this ep, it’s just a random, very well chosen, if utterly appallingly insulting, company name. It’s actually incredibly clever for what the business is, and if it didn’t make me so stomping mad, I would applaud whoever came up with it heartily.

Vic’s face listening to this jackass’ spiel is a thing of beauty. “A good woman goes a long way of easing the obvious stresses of your daily life,” the jackass says, cutting his eyes at Vic when he says “obvious stresses,” and I caaaackle.

What is it about this guys’ horrible glasses that just makes him so much more hate-able? I’m not entirely sure, but kudos to whatever costumer put those on him, because they are perfect. In the ‘I want to punch him’ way of perfection.

And after all of that about Walt’s “lady friend,” Vic brings Lizzie’s present. Womp womp. That went super well. Yuuuup, run while you can.

Poor Ferg. Branch manipulates him, Vic ignores him, Walt shuts him down... Poor guy just can’t get a break.

I actually kind of like this motel manager--the one who “doesn’t judge people” and is a stickler for warrants? At least somebody in this county cares about warrants. Also, those doors are actually really pretty. Nice colour, and the carved scrollwork designs are nice.

What an odd shot: the one when they’re coming out of Walt’s office after talking to Skeevy McGrossFace and Rosa. It’s a weird sort of shaky-cam stepping back, just preceding Branch walking, and then turns to follow him when he sit’s on his desk. But it’s a really different style of shot than I can remember, so much so that it’s a bit jarring, especially after the series of nearly stationary close ups that we just had. Weird. [18:42-18-50]

Cady! I haven’t made much note of her costuming before this, but it seems notable that’s she’s only in monocromatics. Especially next to Fales in muted tones, but still some colour, and surrounded by the colourful grafitti of the alley where her mother was stabbed. Nice way of setting her apart from everything.

SHEEPIES! Ooooo, that wagon is so cool. Ah dang, the way that Sal corrects Walt’s pronunciation of his brother’s name is so gloriously passive aggressive. Good for you, my dude. Names are important, and people should have the respect to make the effort to get them right.

Aaaaaand Walt, the definition of Do, Don’t Tell, just shoves the guy to keep him from drinking the possibly dangerous water, rather than, like, using his words. Walt’s gonna Walt.

Iiiiiiiii am a mess, truly. It cuts to an architectural model and I start giggling like a 6th grader, because I know it’s going to be a Jacob scene. He’s not even on screen yet, ffs. HANDS. I’m fine. Totally fine. (That’s totally a lie. I just rewound to the beginning of the scene because I kept giggling too much to pay attention. What the hell.) First time we’ve seen one of the chips, which at this point must be a marketing mock-up, since nothing is built yet. And he actually types, not just doing the hunt-and-peck thing that is sometimes easier on a tablet.

Looking at the weaving that is up on his wall (maybe a rug?) I’m hoping that the prop people actually did buy from Northern Cheyenne artisans. They apparently did most of their filming in New Mexico, so I hope they made the effort to get the patterns right, and buy from the actual tribe they’re supposed to be portraying, I guess? And now I’m distracted by the fact that the random hanging light behind Jacob is at a weird angle?

Look, ever since I realized that the “Hey,” that Jacob does is apparently just A (thanks to it also happening in That Damned Xmas Movie) I am endlessly amused (and charmed) whenever Jacob does it. I don’t know why it makes me so happy, but it does. (This is legitimately embarrassing. How much trouble I am having focusing. Beyond my normal focus issues, which, as shown above, are already impressive. Because thiiiiirst.)

“My boys at the lumber yard did just throw you a campaign rally.” I love how Jacob is basically apparently not just his secret angel-investor, but also a sneaky campaign manager. Did Branch just think shit like the rally just happened? He’s not fricking Ferris Bueller; somebody organizes those. And apparently it’s either Jacob himself, or someone who Jacob appointed to do so.

“I thought you were just a casino developer.” You have noooo clue, Brancheroo. “I prefer to remain a silent partner. White people get nervous when Indians start taking back their land.” Oooooope. Especially interesting because there are previsions for the Tribal Council to purchase land to be Tribal land (Section 6 of Article IX of the Tribal Constitution), but this seems more along the lines of personal acquisition. Though maybe not, because “on the board” doesn’t necessarily equate to being the owner.

The set up of Jacob’s office is so interesting. Functionally for the show, it’s probably for better shooting angles, so that we can see more of Jacob behind the desk while Branch is sitting in front of it, but from an in-the-verse decorating standpoint, bit’s fascinating. He has this focal wall with the gorgeous wall hanging, flanked by floor to ceiling window, but instead of having his desk centered on that wall and directly facing the bulk of the room, it’s at an almost 45 degree angle on a huge rug, and it’s so unexpected. I kind of love it, and want to analyze it for days. Also worth noting is that pride of place is given to the Hotamétaneo’o headdress which is on a stand centered in front of the wall hanging.

How fucking tired must Jacob be. He’s used to Walt... Walting, but then Branch comes in, who he is literally spending his own money to support in his bid for sheriff, and he pulls the same shit of assuming that he’s behind Bad Shit. And then Branch frames it as “bad P.R,” so he’s there to “discuss it with [him] privately.” And then basically threatens him with Walt. I swear. ...there is something a little amusing about Walt being used as the stick in the carrot and a stick method of negotiating. He certainly is enough of a blunt object most of the time.

Oh fuck you so much, Branch. Playing the “can’t give you details about an ongoing investigation” card as though you have some professional or moral leg to stand on after basically blackmailing Jacob with Walt’s vendetta is just such shit. You don’t get to look down your nose at Jacob’s quid pro quo pragmatism when you were the one who came to him for financial backing. You sanctimonious little shitheel. If you didn’t want to deal with Jacob, you shouldn’t have taken his $100k. He’s a business man, and you’re an investment, and not a quixotic one.

“He’s probably the only person to have died from [hemlock] since Socrates.” And then Walt’s incredulous look and her, “Alright, I googled it,” were subtle comedic gold.

Ooooooo, that was a nice little shot. Not quite foreshadowing, but showing Branch’s suspicions and sort of inviting the audience to share them. Walt says his bit about the Army poisoning “Indian wells” to kill them off and get their land, and then we see Branch fiddling with the Four Arrows chip and narrow his eyes considering and slip the chip into his pocket, looking suspicious. It’s a really neat little moment of visual storytelling, no lines, literally three seconds long, just sort of snuck in there, but super effective. Really nicely done.

And again, Cady is in monochromatics. And, shit, just gave Fales Henry’s name. Aaaaaand right after, she realizes that the junkie was killed and realizes that it had to have been one of her dads (or so she thinks).

Sal’s monologue in the cell is a good emotional payoff that plays off of Vic’s comments towards the beginning of the episode. I see the narrative worth of her making them, and how the structure of the episode benefits from it; but seeing those writing elements from the outside of the show doesn’t make me able to like her as a character who said them in-universe. And then the threat Sal makes of vengeance on someone who killed one he loves also underscores the stuff with Cady’s investigation into her mother’s death very well. As much as I gripe about the writing *cough S6 cough finale cough* there really is some damn good writing in this show, and I don’t show enough appreciation for it.

Huh, and now there’s a sort of inverse of that weird shot preceding Branch from earlier, but this one is much more effective and less off-putting. This one [33:00] precedes Walt as he walks back into his office, still a medium close up, but it’s much steadier, and the way it is framed, it does quite a bit to convey his mindset, and he walks out of the shot and we see the three deputies following him in like baffled ducklings, making the shot serve another purpose, too. Which honestly makes that earlier shaky follow shot of Branch even weirder, because this one was so much better.

And then Walt has his creepy little speech about how someone would want to watch the light go out of their eyes and not caring if you get caught. I do appreciate that when he’s talking about the psychology of killing with poison he doesn’t just call it a “woman’s method” which media so often does. It might have been the writers keeping who the killer was abstruse, but it was still more gender neutral. Especially since according to The U. S. Department of Justice's report on Homicide Trends in the United States (1980 to 2008) of all poison killers in that time period, 60.5 percent were male and 39.5 percent female. (Table 5 on page 10.) So that long held idea that even Sherlock Holmes was written to have that poison is “of course” a woman’s weapon is pretty crap.

Awwww, the good old days when Walt paid attention to animals. ...I am still bizarrely salty about the fact that he never named his horse. What a good pupper!

And then we have a classic example of Sneaky!Walt, which always takes people quite by surprise, because he’s usually as subtle as Miley Cyrus.

Also because when he does this, it tends to be pretty fucked up, in a Make Someone Think They’re About To Die way. And then he does His Thing, where he just lays out all of his suppositions, with no proof, only the terror of her thinking that she’s been poisoned and you’re withholding medical intervention to get her to confess. And is, irritatingly, correct about his theories. But I’m pretty sure this qualifies as coercing a confession? She thinks she’s fucking dying. Even Vic looks at him like it’s fucked up, and her moral compass where he’s concerned is... skewed.

They way this reveal was played out, (”How’d they find her so fast?” “Hard to say...”) is somewhat ambiguous as to whether it’s supposed to be that Branch went there to tell Jacob or not, but I kind of doubt it? I kind of figure that the meeting that Jacob was having when Branch rambled in was already with Rosa signing the paperwork. Jacob is smart. So, HAH. Little good your “can’t comment on an ongoing investigation” schtick did.

And then the news that someone in law enforcement has been asking after Henry.

“Lizzie was waiting for you here tonight. You should talk to her, Walt. She seems to think she is in a relationship with you.” ....omgs. The tone. I mean, yes, the blisteringly glorious SASS, but how does one not read that as incredibly shippy? Howwwww?

“You are an honest man, Walt. I would like you to stay that way.” Oh Henry. When did you decide that you weren’t? Was it when you hired Hector? Or was there something before? ...I feel like there were things before that. Hello darkness my old friend.

“It is not your job to protect me.” “It is my job...” THOSE WERE THE DAYS. Those were the fucking daaaaaays. And the emotions on Henry’s face after Walt says, “That was my right,” as though Henry cheated him of something. I am so deep in OT3 feels I cannot even see daylight here. The feels of them having been an OT3 and then Walt pulling this shit, and Henry having to defend his own “right” to avenge Martha? It wrecks me. “A good woman was murdered. A bad man is dead. End of story.”

#Longmire #Walt Longmire #Cady Longmire #Henry Standing Bear #Branch is such a tool #Jacob Nighthorse #The Ferg #Victoria Moretti #Episode commentary #How many tangents did I manage to go on this time?#so many #Martha Longmire #I ramble about shots and framing and narrative too.#It took me so long to do this.#I am such a mess.

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kaypeace21 · 5 years ago

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I feel like you’re the right person to tell this to, but Mileven makes me REALLY uncomfortable. I’m an adult fan (I watch the show mostly for Winona Ryder) and I felt really gross watching the scenes of them making out, knowing that adults wrote those scenes and shot them, and how many people would’ve been there during shooting. Please tell me I’m not alone.

I agree that it makes me feel uncomfortable and gross, too. But, I actually think the Duffers wanted you to feel uncomfortable (and I think mileven was portrayed as ‘off’ and ‘too much’ for that reason). Think about it, when it comes to almost all their other cannon couples- they use kisses sparingly. Jancy has only kissed, romantically 3x (2 of those times were simple kisses- not full blown make-outs), and their first kiss (and only make-out) was quickly obscured as they closed the door.

(x)

Jopper has never kissed, and lumax had an innocent kid-kiss once (and even when back together in s3, they never kissed).

The duffers are sparing with kiss- scenes, unless they are portraying a relationship that won’t work.Most of the relationships that are cannon (with the exception of mileven) focus almost completely on how they communicate with one another- and relationships that lack this (spend most of their time just making-out). What’s the ship that has had the most kiss scenes in the whole series? In the bathroom, library, bedroom(s), garage, in a car, multiple places at school (and has probably had at least 6-7 kiss scenes or more - and who even made out on a bed to corny romance music just like mileven (pre-s3?)- Stancy. Heck, we even see Nancy lose her v**ginity to Steve- but didn’t see Jancy do-it. Because we aren’t supposed to focus on their physical relationship but their emotional one.

Stancy and mileven have had alot of parallels. The wheelers (Nancy and Karen) already made a habit of pretending they’re in love with people- because that relationship is what is deemed the most socially acceptable. Nancy rebelling with the cool-jock (Steve), trying to not be like her parents. And Karen with Ted. Nancy even says in s1 “I don’t think my parents ever loved each other. My mom was young. My dad was older… but he had a cushy job, money, came from a good family. So they bought a house at the end of the cul de sac and started their nuclear family”. Ted & Steve were paralleled to each other, having them both eat chicken as their partners (Karen/Nancy) stormed off upset (and they did nothing). And El was paralleled to Ted by sitting in Ted’s laz-boy chair. And Dustin even refers to mileven as “bullshit” just like Nancy described Stancy as “bullshit”.

(x)

So to reiterate , Mike is doing the same thing as Nancy & Karen- being with someone they don’t love. And only staying with them becuause they are the more socially acceptable/’correct’ option…because El’s a girl (unlike Will).

Also, the fact that Murray’s line to Nancy sounds more queer coded than applicable to Nancy - “ Afraid that if you’d accept yourself for who you really are (cough queer-subtext), and retreated back to… name, name? Steve. Steve! we like Steve (El) but we don’t love Steve (El).”

So, the over-top kisses were done as yet another parallel. And again s2 made fun of (kids who are) mileven shippers ( I’ll talk about that later).

But , S3 was the Duffers criticizing the adult mileven shippers- who are obsessed with mileven kissing.

Like don’t get me wrong there’s some weird byler shippers (but the majority of byler shippers focus on the emotional not physical part of their relationship).

Think about it. Look how they framed this scene of mileven kissing- making us the viewer feel like a peeping-tom, watching them through the crack in the door. Then El sees the viewer and subsequently gasps and slams the door in front of our faces. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE!

The Duffers and their crew (like good directors) were manipulating your emotions- without you realizing how or why. They were also calling-out the adult-mileven shippers (not all of them but the ones) who are obsessed with their kiss scenes - creepy AF. The duffers never even wrote for mileven to kiss in s2- but Millie said they “had to for the fans”. And so the Duffers conceded and put in a song about a bad-breakup during the mileven kiss - and their backup-song-choice was even about a divorce. XD

So the 2 mileven make-out scenes were supposed to make you uncomfortable- because not only are they kids (who are making out on a bed , but the way they were framed).

So that 3rd and last kiss. Was 100% supposed to make you uncomfortable (but just for a different reason).

Like it or not Mike either forgot that he said he “loved her”. Or just LIED to El (despite this being the reason they broke up in the first place)- and pretends he didn’t confess to her . He has never said “ I love you’, once to her face! He even tries to take the words back (before the kiss) and says about the prior love confession “ Oh! Oh, yeah that.Man, that was so long ago. Um…” and starts to scratch his head and says everything he said at the cabin was “in the heat of the moment stuff and we were arguing… I don’t really remember. What did I say exactly?”

And , after that discussion, they frame El (before she says “I love you”), strangely. They make El look large and imposing, as she approaches the motionless Mike (who feels both physically & emotionally cornered) .You the viewer, subconsciously are feeling claustrophobic/trapped/and stuck along with Mike. Which is why you are so uncomfortable watching this scene, unfold.

(x)

When she says “I love you”, he looks genuinely confused- or just uncomfortable ( his eyebrows are still scrunched-up).

And then… cue the most awkward kiss in the history as Mike doesn’t kiss her back and keeps his eyes open the whole time… it’s just weird/awkward (sorry).

(x)

We even see El’s reaction , after the kiss (happy, smiling and giddy). But then we blur the screen to see Mike’s opposing expression. He looks confused, bewildered and even furrows his brows again.

And In s2 they insulted the young-girls who are obsessed with mileven (since they can frankly, be the most toxic of the milevens).

In the Montauk pitch (later named Stranger things) they describe the Mike and El dynamic by saying “ If Mike is the Eliot of our show,Eleven is our Et.” (AKA they’re from different planets)

And In s2 , Erica is forcing He-man and barbie to make out. Lucas angrily separates the two. And then this discussion happens.

Erica: “Hey , They’re in love!”

Lucas (livid- and standing right next to a rainbow): “No, actually, they’re not. They don’t even exist on the same planet.”

And again the Duffers have described El in multiple interviews as “similar to ET”, and “like an alien” (even after s3). And in s1, they alluded to El being like “an alien from another planet” by comparing her to ET (with the Reese’s pieces vs eggos moments, the bike-scene, and the makeover).

S3 portrayed mileven as toxic in a myriad of ways. And these other examples, might be stretches, but Mike saying to Max in s2 “How can I hate you, I don’t know you.” could also be a ‘dig’ at mileven.(Because: he knew Max for a week, just as long as El- so how could he hate or love either of them?)

And Mike saying to Dustin incredulously “ You have a bond? Just cause he likes nougat (eggos)?” Could be another subtle jab.

Especially since it’s cannon Mike isn’t the biggest fan of eggos to begin with.

Don’t even get me started at how much the st writing staff- makes fun of mileven - more details about it here. But just one example is when the ‘Stranger writers’ ( the official account of the ST writing staff ) got into a huge text-chain with ‘Stranger Things’ (the official account of the show) where they just low-key dragged mileven together.

Mileven was never meant to be end game-they planned for her to die in season 1 (which I’m glad didn’t happen). But, regardless, it was always supposed to be a simple fleeting crush … but the viewers decided to take it way too seriously. After s3, the Duffers reiterate that mileven is just that.

And the Duffers are smart guys, I bet they’re are 100% aware of how toxic the milevens are to bylers (and how they can also be creepy and harass Finn). Not to mention, as writers, who put so much effort into the show- having people hyper-fixate on mileven (which they don’t even like), instead of the plot must drive them insane.Especially when those shippers can be toxic, homophobic, and entitled. The fact people don’t realize the Duffers hate mileven- is honestly hilarious XD.

#byler #byeler #anti mileven

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late-to-the-sexy-party · 5 years ago

Text

Half a Pint of Sex

A little AU that takes place during S2 E1. What if Rae didn’t leave after she saw Finn in the shower?

Also posted on AO3.

Thank you as ever to Lil, my beta reader from another mother: you are exacting and wise and very exciting to work with.

@madfatty @burnnmyhearttout @thatfunnygirllauren @hellothisismebye

Rae was in a tizzy as she walked back from the lingerie shop. It was all well and good to bare everything in front of Chloe and Izzy and the baps-expert bra lady, but…ugh…who was she kidding? Even that was horribly uncomfortable. How could she ever do this with Finn? She closed her eyes and counted to ten. “He likes me,” she reminded herself. “He’s already touched my lady bits and he wants to go camping and he knows we’re getting three tents. Relax, idiot! He likes you. He really likes you.” She repeated the affirmation, though suspected this could all change once Finn really saw all of her. But the pep talk and the teal underwear in her shopping bag gave her a surge of confidence or maybe it was just hope. Whatever propelled her, she found herself heading to Finn’s house. Maybe to show him. Maybe not.

Meanwhile, Finn was in his attic, waist-high in boxes and sorting fairy lights from Christmases past. Most of his thoughts were preoccupied by the camping trip and how not to let on that he was preoccupied. Being attentive to Rae was work but the best kind. It felt good to be in this deep, to care this much. Anyway, their first time would not be in a tent, that was not how he’d pictured it, hence ten calls to arrange the surprise caravan and a whole morning in the attic. He was glad she’d been busy earlier because he was crap at making excuses. He was covered in dust from his efforts, but now he just wanted to see her. Fuck it, he was going to go over to hers even if he had to wait around until she got home. He headed to the shower to wash up.

Rae’s feet automatically slowed as she approached Finn’s house; much had changed since the first time she’d walked up to his door. When she was with Finn their chemistry was obvious and magnetic, but when they were apart the whole thing still seemed impossible. If she could get back in the same room with him, the rest should take care of itself. She needed to trust in the strange magic of them. She pushed herself forward with the memory of Finn’s reassuring smile, his promise of “to be continued.” Gary welcomed her inside amidst a haze of Dire Straits. Rae prayed her own straits were not so dire.

Finn’s thoughts were racing in the shower. Was he putting too much pressure on her? He was pretty sure the whole thing had been Rae’s idea. It was a sleepover and she’d asked for three tents. And she had let him touch her the other day in her room, but then Linda had barged in and it just didn’t feel right to continue. He’d run off to footy practice even though he’d planned to skip it. But now it was all he could think about, how ready she’d been for his fingers. The hot water across his shoulders was starting to remind him of that warmth and how it had spread to her wickedly soft inner thighs. He rubbed at his stiffening cock but glanced up to find the door open, and his dad didn’t need to see that. He turned the water a little colder–he would wait until he was in his room to finish that thought.

Rae climbed the stairs with a distracted smirk on her face and heard the water running as she reached the top. Was Finn in the shower? Was he showering with the door open? Who showered with the door open? “Oh,” she thought, as she saw his wet and flawless frame turning away, “people with perfect bodies.” And there it was, the arse she coveted, bare as the day he was born, as peachy as she’d ever imagined.

Suddenly, she was struck with a huge choice: run out of this house straight to the airport and jump on a plane to the North Pole to live in a cave and raise polar bears and never again see a human arse that would remind her of what she couldn’t have OR literally put on her big girl pants and meet her own life head on. Seeing as she’d spent her last pound on the pants, air travel was out of the question. She walked halfway down the stairs and back up three times before finding herself in Finn’s room. The next set of events was a blur, as she ran to the window and yanked the curtain over to block out as much light as possible, raced into her new underwear while holding the door closed and finally dove under his duvet and slid herself all the way to the wall.

Lying in Finn’s bed, Rae was shocked by her own actions, completely out of breath and utterly grateful that Chloe had explained what she meant about preparing for “naked time” with Finn. That morning, Rae had shaved her legs, continuing above her knees which she hadn’t even realized was a thing, and she’d smoothed out her underarms and even tidied up her unruly thatch of pubic hair. As she awaited the inevitable, she tried to make herself as small as possible, but her flesh refused to cooperate and kept falling around her in the most hideous of ways. Every time she angled herself to smooth one area, another rolled up and out, and she was quickly getting itchy and hot in all the places where her skin was rubbing against itself, and this was all a very bad idea, and her head was pounding and she thought she might throw up. Her fevered train of thought came to an abrupt halt as the freshly-bathed scent of Finn Nelson burst across her senses and then he was there in the room, in his boxers and running a towel over his head. He didn’t see her at first, as he was taking in the closed window curtain with mild confusion.

“Don’t be scared it’s just me!” Rae blurted out as she pulled the duvet up to her nose. “Hiya.”

Tracking Rae’s voice, Finn found her wedged in the corner of his bed. Her position was almost comical as if she were trying to disappear into the wall, but this did not diminish the salient fact: Rae was in his bed. She was under his duvet. She was hiding something, possibly nakedness. His body was reacting faster than his mind and he quickly moved the towel down to hide his excitement. He was turned on; he was touched, and he was stunned by the boldness of her gesture. As his eyes adjusted to the dimness, he could see that she was terrified.

“What are ya doing under there, girl?” He asked in a tone he hoped was both non-threatening and affectionate.

“Oh nothin’,” Rae responded. “Just thought I’d make sure you had sheets under here.”

“Oh, and do I?” Finn couldn’t help but flirt as he moved slowly towards the bed. He was still having trouble processing what was happening, but whatever it was, was very good.

“Yes, comfy sheets.”

“They’re comfy, eh?” Finn was fully loving the dynamic now. He felt a little bad for torturing her like this, but he knew this would all work out even if she didn’t seem to. “Can you feel them especially, ‘cause maybe you’re not wearin’ anything?”

“Oh, I’m wearin’ something…some…things…” Rae was biting her lip, rolling her eyes and blushing to her toes.

Finn was standing right up against the bed now. His curiosity was beyond piqued, but he knew Rae was regretting her actions and he needed to get her back on board. He was always most confident expressing himself from his arsenal of smiles, and he carefully chose one for her that conveyed sympathy, encouragement and understated joy. When he saw the muscles around her eyes relax, he spoke, “I’m really glad you’re here.” Then even more gently, he added, “Would it be okay if I joined you under there?”

Rae nodded, and Finn slipped cautiously onto the bed, keeping a respectful distance and his eyes on her face.

“So, what are these… things…you’re wearing?”

Rae huffed and rolled her eyes, “Chloe took us to a lingerie shop and I wound up buyin’ this stuff. But they’re totally impractical and I don’t think they look good on me. And I mean, I’m not even sure if you like my boobs, because they’re too large and they’re not made for lacy-”

“Rae…Rae!” Finn was struggling to get Rae’s attention and she finally stopped babbling long enough to look at him. “Do you not know how I feel about your boobs? Guess you hadn’t noticed me looking at them all the time when we first met? Archie and Chop had to tell me to stop!”

“Nah… I hadn’t…” Rae attempted a nanosecond of mental acrobatics, trying to immediately recall all the times this could have happened. It was new information and she couldn’t help but smile and then laugh, “Chop had to stop you?! But Chop looks at them all the time!”

“Yeah…” Finn winced “Now he says if I get to touch’em, then he should at least be able to look at’em.” He scrunched his face and waited for her to punch him.

“What?! Oh thanks for that! Really defending my honor, eh?” The banter was so normal, that for a minute, Rae forgot they were in a bed and half naked. “You know Chop needs to watch himself or Izzy’s going to get seriously insecure. I know she already feels—"

Suddenly Finn was kissing her–his version of oral sparring was not really fair, because he always won.

Finn was glad she was back to form, because he was addicted to transforming loud opinionated Rae into quiet, yielding Rae. Kissing her was like unlocking so much sweetness, and it was all for him.

When she stilled, he spoke quietly, “Anyway, I told Chop, that was bullshit and he had to stop.” Finn continued with a playful pout, “But can we not talk about Chop anymore? Besides…I haven’t really touched them… not really…”

Rae was pleasantly transfixed by the recent kiss and his current gaze. This back and forth between humor and seriousness, teasing and affection, of her knowing him and his knowing her was the alchemy she needed. She bit her bottom lip as she slowly lowered the duvet to her waist, revealing all the cream and teal she’d been hiding. Finn gasped and stared, and Rae felt like she was on fire. His hand instinctively reached out to touch her, but he stopped himself.

“Can I?” His breath hitched on the words and Rae felt a sense of control that she had never known. She could feel how truly sexy she was in that moment with her hair flowing around her face and her lips parted. She looked at him from beneath her lashes and knew how completely she had him. All of time seemed to slow down in that astonishing moment.

When Rae finally spoke, “Yeah,” was all she said. He reached towards her hesitantly and ran his finger along the top of her shallow bra cup, tracing the entire seam where it met the soft flesh of her right breast. Finn’s eyes were on hers, as he slid his finger below the edge, lowering it inch by inch until her whole breast spilled out. They held each other’s eyes with half shock and open mouths. Gradually his eyes lowered to take her in, the fullness, the large dark areola, the perfectly protruding nipple; the sight drew his tongue forward. Then, just as slowly, Finn freed her from the left cup and felt woozy with the vision that lay before him.

Rae smiled as she watched Finn’s reaction and relaxed into this new sensation of feeling like the best thing he’d ever seen.

“They look so good, Rae…” Finn was nearly stuttering, “better than I imagined.”

Finn was consumed with looking, just feeling her with his eyes for a full minute before finally sweeping his fingers around the outside curves of her and his thumbs against her nipples. He kissed her then, pressing his whole body into her, knowing she could feel him hard against her leg.

It all turned hot and heavy quickly as they licked and sucked at each other’s lips and tongues. They were grinding against each other’s thighs and her hands were grasping at his hair and his hands were full of her breasts. Things were escalating and their hearts were racing, when Rae put her hand between them and pushed him back.

“Are you okay?” he panted, concern registering in his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m good,” she panted back. “So, so good… I just don’t think I’m… ready…”

“Oh, Rae,” Finn smiled. “We don’t have to…there’s so many other things we can do… I mean…if you want to…”

“Yeah…I want to…” Rae smiled, and Finn remembered she had her own arsenal, and this was the one–so wide and genuine and beautiful–that lit up his heart.

“Honestly,” he added, “I’m just chuffed to see you in your underwear.”

“You really like it?” She asked, pretending the question was not rhetorical.

“Yeah, I really like it,” he answered, as if she didn’t know what an understatement that was.

“Do you think your dad might…?

“Nah.. not if my door’s closed.”

“So he’s not makin’ hot pot or anything? Maybe needs some ingredients?”

“He won’t bother us,” Finn grinned as he spoke. “He knows you’re up here. And he totally loves you.”

Rae smiled to herself wondering how many Nelsons might love her. Finn shifted out of the bed to put on some music.

Rae teased him, “Oh, let me guess…”

“Oi!” Finn shot back, “I’ve been waiting for this. You can’t deny me it.” He pulled out his album of decidedly not crap reggae and lowered the needle. “Plus now my dad will really know to stay away.”

As she watched him return to bed, bopping his head suggestively to the music, Rae giggled and felt her whole body melt and tingle in anticipation. “So, where were we, girl?” Finn asked as he crawled in next to her. He looked into her eyes and ran his fingers through her hair, and Rae was very happy to remind him.

#mmfd fanfic #mmfd #rae earl #finn nelson #finn and rae #rae and finn #my mad fat diary

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travllingbunny · 5 years ago

Text

Clarke Griffin’s memories and images in her mindspace

In this post I will list all the drawings from Clarke's mindspace seen in season 6 of The 100 (in episodes 6x06, 6x07 and 6x10) that we have been able to spot - most of which (over 90 of them! Yes, this is gonna be a long post) we've been able to identify, with image comparisons to scenes from the show.

First, credit where credit is due: this idea first came from @ofnailbatsandaxefives who identified many of the drawings and made a bunch of side to side comparisons last year after 6x07 aired in this post.

I later tried to identify the rest of the drawings, with the help of a few people here and on Twitter (rewatching the show also helped), but this resulted in an endless number of reblogs. Episode 6x10 Matryoshka also had more drawings that weren't in 6x07 Nevermind, some images were misindentified, and I decided to redo all the images with better resolution screencaps.

Big thanks to everyone who helped in identifying some of the trickier images (many of them are on Twitter and I don’t know if they have Tumblr profiles), especially (Twitter handles) SheiGarche (who identified several of these and corrected some of my mistakes), Lovestory813, BellarkeMood, taunadora, becki_travels, fabiana_vec, indreamswake, KindZouzou and my Tumblr mutual @jeanie205 (I’m sorry if I forgot anyone).

See also my earlier post about Sets, props and costumes in 6x07 Nevermind.

As a BONUS in addition to the images on Clarke’s memory wall, I’ll also go over audio flashbacks heard at the end of 6x06, in 6x07 and 6x10 - as a mix of voices representing Clarke’s jumbled memories. Many of them can be heard and identified in the episodes, but special thanks to (Twitter user) klarksbell for removing the background sounds from the scenes so some of the background voices could be heard clearer.

(In a follow-up post. I’ll go over Clarke's drawings from her Shallow Valley home in season 5, which we also saw in the mindspace version of her Shallow Valley home in her happy place; and those we saw in season 5, many of which overlap as the set was re-used for 6x07. I’ve also noticed that the art department used many of these drawings for the drawings representing Clarke’s memories on her mindspace wall.)

Before I start listing the moments from Clarke’s memory wall - her mindspace version of the actual cell in Skybox she used to be locked in on the Ark - let’s compare the two different versions of this wall. The first one was seen in the very last scene of 6x06 Memento Mori - where we first learned Clarke was still alive (yeah, yeah, of course no one really bought it that she was dead ;) but it was still such a Hell yeah moment) and in 6x07 Nevermind.

But when we saw Clarke in her mindspace again in 6x10 Matryoshka, the walls were different: there were at least 3 new images that weren’t seen in 6x07, and many other images were moved around and placed in different ways. Which does make sense, as Clarke’s mindspace was reacting to her states of mind, so we should probably assume it was always changing, with different memories being more or less prominent at any given time.

And finally here are the identified images with side-by-side comparisons. Some were obvious and taken straight from the scenes (I've been told there's a software for that), others are a bit less straightforward (and several of them were also seen as Clarke's drawings in season 5).

I'm going to do them chronologically, not by episode but by when those things happened in Clarke's life.

Starting with the image of Clarke and Wells as children on the Ark (confirmed by Jason Rothenberg on Twitter). The closest thing in the show is the video of them Jaha watched in 1x12.

The next one was tricky as it's not a scene from the show either. It was first misidentified as Clarke watching what ALIE showed her in 3x16, nuclear plants melting on Earth, but that scene is shown in another drawing. It shows a young girl watching the Earth from the Ark. We've decided that this is young Clarke on the Ark. I used the Octavia flashback scene from 1x06 for comparison to show this is a window on the Ark and a view from there (not because it's the same scene - which it can't be,as this wouldn’t be Clarke’s memory). But the girl looks younger and is touching the window as if yearning for Earth.

Flashbacks in 1x03, a year before the Pilot: Abby and Jake during the happy times; Jake when Clarke overheard him tell Abby that Ark was dying and he'd go public with it; Wells when Clarke told him about it.

1x01 - there are more images from the Pilot than from any other episode.

The first scene of the show - the image on the floor in the mindspace version of Clarke's cell in Skybox is the same image she drew on the floor of her actual cell.

This portrait of Abby seems to represent the next scene where Abby told Clarke she was being sent to Earth. When the camera zoomed on it in 6x06, we heard the dialogue from that scene over it ("Clarke, I love you so much!" - "Mom?")

When the camera zoomed on this pic of Wells on the dropship in 6x07, we heard Wells' voice saying "Welcome back" as he did in that scene.

I've been told that the inscription from the Ark we see below is a Chinese proverb that means, more or less, "A friend in need is a friend indeed".

"We're back bitches!" twice - the second is from Clarke's POV. The first one was one of the drawings Josephine touched and we (and Josephine) heard an audio flashback of it and this, uh, memorable line.

Mount Weather - the first time Clarke saw it, after landing.

I spot the same image among Clarke's drawings we saw in her Shallow Valley home in season 5, though it was really tiny in the background.

More scenes from the Pilot:

1x03

It's a pity that the plan to have Eli Goree guest star in 6x07 didn't work out, but at least we had many Wells images and even in the voice memories - I clearly heard Clarke telling him "How can you forgive me?"/"I blamed you because my father's dead and it's my mother's fault."

1x04 Finn with one of the pencils from the shelter he found, trying to impress Clarke.

1x05 Brief time of Clarke being happy and infatuated, right before Raven arrived and her heart got broken for the first time.

There was a bit of disagreement about this Bellamy image (or images). It shows up as a part of the drawing of him torturing Lincoln in the scene from 1x07 on one of the walls, but it also appears on its own on the ceiling:

@SheiGarche believes that, since this appears as a part of the Lincoln torture scene, the Bellamy image must be from that episode. However, while the rest of the scene 100% matches the 1x07 scene, Bellamy's image doesn't match - in posture or expression - anything from that episode. On the other hand, especially when you look at the Bellamy image on its own, as it is on the ceiling, it looks most like a drawing based on the scene from 1x02 - "I heard you have a gun''...

I think that the ceiling drawing represents season 1 Bellamy in general, and was drawn based on the 1x02 scene. OTOH, the art department made the 1x07 image from the 1x07 scene but couldn't get a good Bellamy angle so they edited in that same Bellamy image in. You decide.

https://youtu.be/Cj37TWjBwvE?t=59

A Raven portrait, which is probably not about any particular scene (some images just represent certain characters), but it most closely matches this love-triangle moment from 1x08.

The same portrait was seen as one of Clarke's drawings in season 5.

1x09 - negotiations with Anya and the Grounders on the bridge. Also the first time Clarke has ever seen horses in real life.

1x13

Probably some of the Grounder warriors who got burned in the Ring of Fire, but this scene clearly indicated that Clarke was thinking about closing the door on Finn and Bellamy and that they may have been burned.

2x01

This image gave us so much trouble, until it turned out it was just a random woman from Mount Weather who yelled "CONTAINMENT BREACH!" when Clarke entered the mess hall dragging Maya and saw all the people sitting there.

Another one of character portraits that are probably not important for any particular scene or moment. But going by Miller's hair and facial hair, it can only be season 2 Miller at the time he and Clarke were both in MW (this is from 2x02).

Ending of 2x02:

2x03 - Escape from Mount Weather

2x04 Anya after Clarke beat the crap out of her and managed to win their fight. "You fought well".

Now a few more character portraits. This image of Raven with a brace doesn't 100% fit a scene from the show, but it looks a lot like this promo pic of her - except for her red jacket, which she wore in 2x05 when Clarke first saw her with a leg brace.

Since Jaha has a beard and hair, it can only be from season 2 or 3, which limits it to 2x07 or 3x16, the only times he and Clarke were in the same place. I used 2x07 image of non-chipped Jaha, when he came to Camp him and argued for Arkers leaving, pitting him against Clarke,as this would’ve meant abandoning her friends to their fate in MW.

Portrait of Indra - also probably not about any particular scene, but it looks like their first meeting in 2x07. It was also among Clarke's drawings in season 5.

2x08 This image is one of the few that were not seen on the memory wall in 6x07, but appeared in 6x10. Maybe it's because the ALIE projection said in 6x07 her most painful memories were not on the wall - and the scene of Clarke killing Finn was only seen represented in her dark place by the pole and knife. Maybe she was able to process some of those memories better by 6x10?

2x09 Raven holding Finn’s dead body

This profile of Lexa is probably not from any particular scene, but a general image of the warrior leader/ally Lexa from S2. I used the scene of her making a speech in 2x15, but there were scenes in 2x09 (like when she told Clarke that Love is weakness) that looked similar.

2x10 Well, an attack by giant mutant gorilla would be pretty memorable to anyone.

2x11 I previously thought this image of people in radiation suits (also seen among Clarke's drawings in S5) was from 4x12/13, but looking more closely, now I think these are Mount Weather Ground unit guards - specifically, are Emerson and the other Mountain Man who tried to assassinate Clarke in 2x11. The outfits, helmets, guns are the closest match.

2x12 Clarke's guilt over letting the MW missile drop on the people in Tondc was referenced not just in 6x07 when her projection of Octavia called her out on writing her off there, but also in 6x10:

Josephine: I wasn't always like this.

Clarke: I know the feeling. I mean, look around you.

*Josephine looks at this big image on the wall*

2x15 - breaching the Mount Weather door

I'm about 95% sure that this picture of Lexa is her betrayal in 2x15.

2x16:

"Together" - "Together"

3x01 The most important character in the show! LOL

...seriously though, this little bunny (? who looks more like a squirrel in the drawing?) that Clarke used as a bait to catch a panther, stands for the 3 months Clarke spent in wilderness.

The only image of Niylah on the wall. It's the scene when she lied to protect Clarke when Roan and a bounty hunter came looking for her.

Another character portrait not related to a specific scene, and another one that was seen as one of Clarke's drawings hanging in her Shallow Valley home in S5. Going by the hair and beard, it's seasons 3-4 Kane, so I used the scene of his and Abby's meeting with Clarke in 3x03.

3x04

3x07 - there are 3 images of Lexa from this episode

Lexa smiling during the talk in which she asked Clarke to stay - this is the most prominent of the images of Lexa (one of the images that appear multiple times on the wall + had a flashback). Seems these softer moments are larger in Clarke's mind than warrior/leader Lexa.

The second most prominent image of Lexa (one of the pictures the camera zoomed in on in 6x06, when we also heard the dialogue among the audio memories - "Can we talk about something else?" - "We don't have to talk at all").

and Lexa right after she was shot by Titus.

3x11 What turned out to be the most important of all Clarke's memories, as it contained info on the neural mesh and how Raven was freed from ALIE and that Clarke has to remove from the wall and hide from Josephine.

3x13 Luna, refusing the Flame

3x15 When Clarke didn't break and give ALIE the password and it almost cost her her mother's life. This drawing was previously misidentified as Murphy being hanged in S1 - some thought there were two hanging scenes, but there's just one and it's clearly indoors.

3x16 - there are several scenes from the City of Light. Including the image of the COL itself. You can see even see the tiny figures of Lexa and the people she's fighting.

What ALIE showed Clarke: the Earth, full of nuclear plants melting, telling her about the upcoming Praimfaya.

Clarke pulling the kill switch and destroying COL

One of the first things Clarke saw after returning from the City of Light was Murphy is one of his most heroic moments - pumping Ontari's heart so Clarke could take the Flame.

4x01

This one seems a bit random: it's a moment when Indra came and hugged Kane while Octavia, Clarke, Bellamy and Abby were already there in the Grounder shrine - but I think it's important as the scene when they all discussed what to do in the situation and Clarke told them all about Praimfaya.

Roan, after agreeing to an alliance because of Praimfaya, giving a public speech in Polis to say that 'an attack against the 13th clan is an attack on all of us'.

The drawing of Arkadia is another one that was hanging in Clarke's Shallow Valley home in season 5 - and was also seen in the mindspace version of that home in 6x07. I used a scene from 4x03.

4x04 There are 3 scenes from this episode, and all of them have to do with Jasper. The first two are two of Jasper's pranks: "floating" Jaha, and the prank Jasper pulled on Clarke. But the mood of the latter got ruined because he had already found the List before Clarke came in. (Josephine touched this drawing briefly in 6x07 and we heard the audio flashback: (Monty: "Clarke, wait..." - Clarke: "Really?" )

And what happened right after, in the same scene, when Jasper started telling everyone present about the List. (Jasper's angry comments can also be heard clearly among the mix of voices at the beginning of 6x07 - more about that later)

The portrait of Emori is probably from 4x07, when they had their first major interaction. It was also one of Clarke's drawings that could be glimpsed in the background in S5.

Skip the next one if you don't want to see an image of a person dying a gruesome and painful death in a radiation chamber.

4x08 The unfortunate Grounder thief from the Rock Line clan whose name we never learned, at the moment of his death.

4x10 Octavia in the Conclave - more of a symbolic representation (with the sigils around her). This was a very prominent drawing in Clarke's sketchbook that we saw a couple of times in season 5.

4x11 Another one of the 3 images that weren't seen in 6x07 but were in the second version of the memory wall, in 6x10 - Clarke pointing a gun at Bellamy to stop him from opening the bunker door, before she broke down and cried. The drawing even shows Clarke’s hand with a gun.

4x12 the rocket in Becca's lab

4x13 Clarke being left behind in Praimfaya and watching her friends leave while she was aligning the satellite dish so they could get to the Ring and survive.

This was also another prominent drawing from Clarke's sketchbook we saw in season 5.

There's another scene from 4x13, but that one happens 6 years later, so I'll come back to it later...

5x01 Post-Praimfaya

Polis was Clarke's destination after she left Becca's lab - trying and failing to open the door of the bunker after the temple had collapsed on it. Then realizing she'll be alone for at least 5 years.

Then she went to Arkadia, where she only found "ghosts" - the chest with Maya's music player, Jasper's goggles and his letter to Monty (as we saw in the flashback in Clarke's "dark place", where the chest played an important role).

The bird that kind of tried to eat Clarke (?), showed Clarke where Eden was, and then got thanked, shot and eaten by Clarke.

Shallow Valley

This image is both a memory of 6 year old Madi (not the moment they met, but when Clarke was drawing her while she was fishing), of Clarke drawing her and of the drawing she made and gave Madi to make friends with her.

Madi and Clarke, but some 6 years later. This image was prominent of at the beginning of 6x07 when we saw a flashback of it when Clarke touched it ("I'm sorry they left without you" - "If I was with them, I never would've met you").

4x13 - 2199 days after Praimfaya: Gagarin transport ship, the moment when Clarke saw it clearly and realized it wasn't the ship she was hoping for ("Never mind, I see you"), but one to be afraid of.

5x03 - Makes snse that images of Diyoza, Shaw and McCreary are all from the episode where they captured and tortured Clarke.

5x04

Bellamy reuniting with Clarke.

Coming out of the bunker.

5x06 - Madi watching Octavia practice.

5x09 - There were quite a few changes between the memory wall in 6x07 and 6x10, and the most obvious one was seen right after Clarke woke up in her mindspace - the big image of Bellamy when Octavia arrested him and right before Clarke left him at her mercy in Polis.

5x12 - This is one of the rare drawings that doesn’t fully represent a memory correctly as Clarke saw it. But it makes sense to me that Clarke remembers it this way - seeing Madi in pain when she zapped the shock collar to stop her from leaving and going to war. But in fact, the screenshot shows Madi shocked that Clarke put a shock collar on her. Clarke closed her eyes and had her back turned to Madi, because she couldn’t watch it when she actually zapped the shock collar, and only heard her scream.

This was another drawing Josephine touched and had a flashback of (we heard Madi screaming and Clarke saying “I won’t let you die in this war”), commenting "Child abuse dressed up as protection!"

5x13 - Clarke pulling the lever to close the door of the Gagarin ship, after waiting until the last moment for Bellamy to come in, closing the door after Bellamy, Monty, Emori and Murphy were inside and the missiles were already hitting the Earth.

One last image. It's clearly Madi, and with the horizontal placement of the drawing, I thought it was Clarke putting Madi in cryo. But it turns out the same image - only vertical - was one of her drawings she had in Shallow Valley in season 5... so, I don't know.

There are other images that we couldn't link to anything specific or weren't sure. Mostly locations, objects and nature images. 1) A forest? 2) Waterfall/rocky shore? 3) Rubble?)

If anyone identifies any of them or notice other images or anything else, I’ll be editing and reblogging this post.

BONUS - audio memories

ending scene of 6x06

vimeo

Lines I can hear:

over the image of Abby: Abby and Clarke in 1x01: "Clarke, I love you so much!" - "Mom?"

"I'm scared"? - this line can be heard clearly but I don’t know who it is. It sounds like a child, but I don’t thin Madi or Charlotte ever said it.

Finn in 1x01 when they see the deer: "No animals, eh?"

Madi in 5x11: "I love you, Clarke" (the entire line was “...but we’re on the wrong side of this war”

Clarke to Wells in 1x03, after learning the truth: "How can you forgive me?"

Madi to Clarke in 5x01, during the scene by the fire: "I'm sorry they left without you."

Bellamy trying to convince Clarke not to leave in 2x16 “You don’t have to do this alone”.

Clarke to Madi in 5x12, as she puts a shock collar on her: "I will not let you die in this war!"

over the image of Lexa in bed with Clarke - Lexa and Clarke in 3x07: "Can we talk about something else?” - We don't have to talk at all."

over the image of Bellamy: Bellamy to Lincoln in 1x07: "You're gonna give us the antidote or you're gonna wish you had". Other lines whispered in the background:

Bellamy in 2x16: "(If you want forgiveness) I'll give that to you"

Bellamy during his reunion with Clarke in 5x04: "Clarke, you saved us all."

"This is how we get to peace" (sounds like Bellamy but Clarke was the one who actually said it in 5x08)

Bellamy in 1x07: "Who we are and who we have to be to survive are two different things."

opening scene of 6x07

vimeo

Clarke to Wells in 1x03: “I blamed you because my father’s dead and it’s my mother’s fault” (heard while Clarke is looking at the wall with the image of her parents, among others)

(over the image of Wells) Bellamy: “Who else knows about this?” (in 1x04, when Clarke realized one of the Delinquents had killed Wells)

(also over the image of Wells) Wells: “Welcome back!” (1x01)

(over the image of Roan & Lexa fighting in 3x04: “It’s always something with you!” – Roan to Clarke in 4x01

we also hear Lexa’s and Roan’s grunts during their fight

(over the two images of Madi) Madi (5x11): “I love you, Clarke”

Madi screaming when Clarke zaps the shock collar in 5x12

Two angry lines by Jasper are overlapping as the camera slides from Lexa to Bellamy:

as we see Lexa in focus: “Truth hurts” - Jasper in 3x11, after ALIE!Raven blamed her for the deaths of Jake, Wells, Finn & Lexa

as we see Bellamy in focus: “I found your list. I guess we know who really matters to you” (Jasper in 4x04)

Madi in 5x12: “I’m not a child anymore, Clarke. I’m the Commander, and my people are dying”

(ETA) Jasper yelling “We are Apogee!” and Clarke, Octavia, Monty and Finn yelling happily with him, just before he gets speared in the Pilot

Clarke in 3x11: “I let her get to me.”

the flashback to Madi and Clarke by the fire in 5x01 “I’m sorry they left without you” - “If I was with them, I never would have met you”

more of Jasper’s ranting in 3x11: “I was going to save everyone!” (talking about his plans in 2x16 to kill Cage)

flashback to the Pilot, as we see the drawing on the floor: “Prisoner 319, face the wall!” Some of the lower volume lines in the background, which can only be identified after the background noise was removed:

Bellamy to Clarke in 3x11, after ALIE!Raven had made her lost it: “I’ll let her beat me up for a while.”

ALIE-controlled Raven yelling “Let me go!” in 3x11, when she’s trying to find out the location and help ALIE, and everyone grabs her and subdues her

Octavia in 2x16: “I know where my loyalties lie!”

Bellamy in 5x09, when he brought Madi to see Clarke in her cell: “Clarke, this isn’t goodbye”.

I also hear someone yelling "Octavia!", and mentions of Jasper’s and Jaha’s names.

Josephine and Clarke in 6x07

vimeo

Josephine touching images and we hear flashbacks of scenes from 1x01 (”We’re back, bitches!), 5x12 (Madi screaming when Clarke puts a shock collar and Clarke saying “I won’t let you die in this war”) and 4x04 (”Clarke, wait...” - “Really?” when Clarke got covered in foam as Jasper pranked her). There are many other whispered lines I don't recognize.

In 6x10, however, everything was mixed up - Clarke's and Josephine's memories were all mashed up, because the boundaries between their minds were disappearing - so it’s pretty much impossible to make out anything. But Clarke’s memories are probably the same mix as in 6x07, because I can still hear Wells saying "Welcome back".

vimeo

If anyone notices something I did not, please tell - I will edit this post with any new info!

#the 100 #clarke's mind space #clarke's memories #clarke griffin #the 100 6x07 #nevermind #the 100 season 6 #the 100 6x10 #matryoshka

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