#it’s august and I’m feeling nostalgic as fuck and Jessica is so pretty and she belongs with Sam

[treacherousrift]

Specific headcanon of Sam Winchester in autumn reading in the Stanford courtyard. And Jessica’s head is laying in sams lap while he runs his hands through her hair. And they’re so in love and

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #149 - The Bounty Hunter

Spoilers below.

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes, but I didn’t have the best taste in movies then.

Do I remember it: The basic plot, yes. The details, not really.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #32.

Format: Blu-ray

1) Okay, try too hard not to judge me for not only having seen this film but owning it. Yes, I know it got scathed by critics. Yes, I know it was nominated for Worst Picture, Worst Actress, Worst Actor, and Worst Screen Couple at the Razzies that year. But this isn’t even close to the worst film I’ve seen in theaters (I think either Furry Vengeance or Transformers: Age of Extinction takes that spot), and it’s not even the worst movie I own (I own Valiant, Underdog, and Batman & Robin). And you know what, the last time I saw this film (between six and seven years ago) I do remember liking it. We all have our weaknesses.

2) I have always enjoyed the music for this film. It’s hardly Hans Zimmer, but I like George Fenton’s work on Groundhog Day and after seeing this movie in 2010 I bought the three main themes it had (“Italia/Milo’s Theme”, “Nicole’s Theme”, and “What We Had”) and listen to them a lot in April (I listen to music based on month; I’m weird). I get a little nostalgic when I hear them used in the film.

3) Okay, from the very first scene of the film I’m starting to see how maybe I was a little off in judging this movie when I was younger. Because as Nicole gets out of the trunk of Milo’s car and runs away, only for Milo to tackle her, I’m just sitting there thinking, “Am I supposed to laugh?”

4) Gerard Butler as Milo.

I like Gerard Butler. I really do. I like him in Olympus Has Fallen, I like him in How to Train Your Dragon, I even like him in The Phantom of the Opera. I do however, think he’s miscast here. Gerard Butler is not exactly known for his charisma when it comes as a COMEDY actor. An action hero? Sure! The lead in a supposedly romantic comedy? He comes off as a little more rough and abrasive than maybe the audience would like. I think the best way to illustrate this is if you picture someone like early-to-mid-200s Will Smith in the role. Robert Downey Jr, James McAvoy, even Jude Law. I don’t really think Gerard Butler’s performance in the film deserves a Razzie nomination, personally, but I do think his tough guy charisma doesn’t really work in what is meant to be a rom-com.

5) Jennifer Aniston as Nicole.

She’s playing Jennifer Aniston. She’s playing it like she plays all her roles. Which isn’t necessarily bad (and not worth a Razzie nomination), there’s nothing lazy or half baked in her performance in the slightest. She does commit. But she plays it like she’s playing Rachel Green or Katherine from Just Go With It and sometimes that performance is interesting to watch and fun. But I think because she has a little less to work with in this film in terms of interesting script and such, it just is what it is here. I hope some of that made sense.

6) Jason Sudeikis is in this film, and honestly he adds a nice bright spot. Yes his character is creepy and borders on stalking, but Sudeikis is a great comedian and his ability to commit to the role and the oddity of Stewart as a character elevates the film (and the scenes he’s in) just a bit. Also he’s got nice chemistry with Anniston, as seen in their later film We’re the Millers. Again, nothing against Gerard Butler, but now that it’s seven years down the road and we’ve seen more from Sudeikis as a film actor I’m curious as to how this movie would have turned out with him as Milo. 

7) Is anyone else weirded out by the fact that Christine Baranski is playing Jennifer Aniston’s mother? She’s only twelve years older than her and looks even younger than that. I don’t know, now that I know who Baranski is it throws me off a bit more.

8) This lawyer is super unprofessional, and he’s not funny enough about it for me to be okay with it.

Nicole’s Lawyer [leaving her a voice message]: “I hate being your lawyer and you’re killing me.”

9) Like Sudeikis, Jeff Garlin as Milo’s boss/friend is a nice bright spot in the film. There’s not that much of him and he’s definitely tailored to Garlin’s style of comedy, but the latter means he got me to actually laugh later in this film.

10) This film’s attempt at including a mystery subplot never felt right to me. It feels out of place almost, just a contrived way to get Milo and Nicole interacting. That could be because it is wildly underdeveloped, with more focus being put on the childish antics of the exes than the mystery. This means when the film does attempt to be a mystery film or an action film, it kinda fails spectacularly.

11) Dude, I don’t care if your a bounty hunter...

That is aggressive and creepy and scary that you’re pointing your gun at a harmless idiot. Like come on man, that’s not funny. That’s uncomfortable. Geez, this could be a horror movie depending on how you played it.

12) You have so many potential interesting relationships to explore in this film:

Milo and his friend Bobby

Nicole and her friend Bobby (same Bobby)

Milo’s familiarity with his ex-mother in law

But nothing happens there. The film just tries to develop the Milo/Nicole relationship, which is probably a smart move if it weren’t for what I’m going to say next...

13) There isn’t really any chemistry between Aniston and Butler. Of any kind. Not when they’re bickering, not when they’re attacking each other, not when they’re all lovey dovey, they just don’t feel like they’re together.

Maybe I have too high standards after seeing such chemistry as Andrew Garfield/Emma Stone in The Amazing Spider-Man, Krysten Ritter/Mike Colter in “Jessica Jones”, or any other movie where the couples actually have chemistry, but whatever merits these actor shave on their own they do NOT mix together. At all. In a movie where the focus is on the relationship between Milo and Nicole, you should at least find a couple with better chemistry. And not even necessarily oozing chemistry. This isn’t Titanic. But again I point to We’re the Millers, which had Aniston playing off of Sudeikis in a fun and interesting way. THAT chemistry would have been good. But this just falls totally flat for me.

14) The film is able to juice some nice humor and fun out of just how much Milo is enjoying messing with Nicole. The antics they have with each other actually make the film interesting to watch, until about thirty-four minutes in when it’s gone on too long and their relationship needs to develop. But up until that thirty-four minute mark (when it gets boring, honestly) it’s pretty good.

15) There is nice potential writing there between the relationship with Milo and Nicole, I just wish the chemistry would reflect it.

Milo [after hearing Nicole crying on the phone, after reminding her that they used to be married/in love]: “That means I know when you’re crying for real and when you’re faking it!”

16) I literally have no memory of the subplot involving Milo’s gambling debt. And that may be because it doesn’t really hold any weight in the film? The only way it actually effects Milo is when they kidnap Nicole, but he rescues her SO easily. And then it’s never resolved by the film’s end. It does lead to some actually funny scenes (or scene) with Jason Sudeikis, but honestly the movie is too long (it’s an hour and fifty minutes) and this could probably have been cut.

17) So Milo could take Nicole to jail for five thousand dollars but she convinces him to go and gamble with five hundred dollars by challenging his masculinity, even agreeing to let her go if he wins ten thousand dollars in there...

And while he’s in there he tells Nicole this:

Milo: “Why would I try to win five thousand if I’m getting that by bringing you in? That doesn’t make any sense.”

None of this makes any sense!

18) So Nicole escapes from Milo after tazoring him (not as interesting as it sounds) and gets in this bike pulled cart in Atlantic City for escape. And then...

Nicole [after realizing Milo has her money]: “I don’t know how I’m going to pay you.”

17-Year-Old-Kid [after glancing back at her briefly]: “You could who me your boobs.”

That’s just...so weird...and so random...and not that funny...I’m just...I’m going to move on...

19) There are a number of songs which are put under the action of the film and really they’re just there to be there. They serve no purpose. They don’t tie into the story. They don’t improve the pacing. There’s not a montage going on. Their existence literally serves no purpose for the film. They simply exist.

20) Again, there is some nice potential between Milo & Nicole in the way they’re written. Their relationship could be really interesting. It’s just...the chemistry...

Milo [after Nicole starts crying]: “Shit, that’s real.”

Milo had been an incredible jerk up to this point but as soon as Nicole is really hurt he stops. He goes to her. He tries to make it right. He likes to mess with her, to annoy her, he does NOT like to hurt her. That’s something I like.

21) The scene where Milo and Nicole are trying to sneak into the country club just falls totally flat for me. Again, the film is a bit too long, so did we really need five minutes of them trying to awkwardly lie their way into a country club?

22) Also, fuck the writers for this line.

Nicole [lying into the country club]: “I’m actually a former model.”

Woman at the Check In Desk: “Really? How long ago was that?”

Dude, Jennifer Aniston is fucking gorgeous. So what is if she’s not some twenty year old who looks like they belong on the cover of a magazine. THE GIRLS ON THE MAGAZINE COVERS DON’T LOOK LIKE THE GIRLS ON THE MAGAZINE COVERS! So don’t try and tell me Jennifer Aniston is too old or something. Fuck that shit.

23) When Milo and Nicole feels that they need to get off the road, this is Nicole’s reaction after she sees that Milo is taking them to the cabin where they had their honeymoon...

Nicole: “Really, here?”

Same sister. Same.

This is such a contrived and inorganic way to get them back together. The dinner scene at the cabin is actually a nice moment between the two, but that moment does not feel earned. There were no nice moments before building up to this, just bickering and fighting and then we plop down and, “Hey, I remember why I like you!” I like that attempt at honest but it just doesn’t work. At all. Especially with lines like this.

Milo [after Nicole says he doesn’t even like her]: “Are you kidding? I’ll always like you.”

So one night of nostalgia fixes all the shit that’s been happening? Even when they’re failing to communicate (as seen by them relating two very different versions of the dinner to their friends/family over the phone). I don’t WANT them to get back together. They have no chemistry, they just mess with each other (and not in a cute/funny way), they don’t communicate well. Just stop! Stop!

24) The first time I laughed out loud during this whole movie:

Jeff Garlin (yes, I’m calling him Jeff Garlin) [after he hears Milo turns on some sexy music, ready to seduce Nicole]: “Okay, you’re thinking with your dick! How many times I tell you NO DICK THINKING!”

25) So Nicole here’s Milo telling Jeff Garlin he’s just getting laid, not that he’s sweet for her again, and she gets offended but doesn’t tell him why so instead of them getting together they sleep like this:

And then Milo wakes up and Jennifer Aniston had handcuffed him to the bed, and I’m just like...you’re still taking her to jail. Why didn’t you handcuff her?

26) And then of course because the writers can’t think of any better way to do this, Nicole flirts her way and uses her body to get into a sketch tattoo parlor. There were so many other ways they could’ve done that but no. They objectified her.

27) And then when Nicole is IN the villainous Earl’s office there is literally zero tension. What so ever. No stress, no stakes, it just is.

28) I’m so confused.

One of the Goons Collecting Milo’s Debt [holding Nicole at gunpoint]: “You’re hair shimmers like sunlight on the ocean.”

There has literally been no poetic side to this character before. This is not an established trait, this is a random and creepy comment.

29) Okay, the fact that Nicole’s reason for arrest was that she grazed the side of a police horse makes me laugh. The moment in the car between her and Milo where she shares that story is actually one of their best moments together in the whole film. Too bad it didn’t carry through the rest of it.

30) So how did a “romantic comedy” end up having it’s climax try to be an action film, where the broken up/together couple of Milo and Nicole take down a crooked cop from stealing a shit ton of drugs?

31) I like that Milo does end up taking Nicole to jail, I like that he wants to get arrested so he can spend more time with her, I do NOT like that he punches an asshole cop to do it.

Like, they come down hard on assaulting an officer. That’s not some cute and funny thing that happened. Didn’t you see Good Will Hunting? You don’t get to hit a cop (no matter how much of a douche he is) and get to walk away scot free. Come on Milo...

If you’re a person who think The Bounty Hunter is a good film, awesome! I respect your opinion! I just don’t. I attach some nostalgia factor to it so I kinda enjoy it too, I just think it’s a very bad film. It was perfect for what I needed. I don’t care about the action or the characters at all so I was able to relax during it, but it also wasn’t so mind-numbingly stupid that it hurt to watch. There are nice moments. Sure, Butler and Aniston have no chemistry and the performances they give aren’t exactly their best. Sure, the action sucks. Sure, some of the plot doesn’t make sense. Sure, it’s way too long. But hey, it’s got Jason Sudeikis! And Jeff Garlin! Look honestly you shouldn’t watch this movie UNLESS you’re looking for something dumb and stupid to distract you from stress or something (although there are better dumb and stupid movies out there).