#it’s all I could think of as in universe proof LMAOO

[saetoru]

16 with gojo and its like the song “i wanna fuck you” by akon or something similar lmaoo

16. "this song reminds me of you."

anon ily for this one 💀 this is a rich boy gojo drabble btw this definitely happens in rb! gojo universe

gojo satoru will get a date with you if it’s the last thing he ever does. if that one weird zenin kid from your literature class was able to land a date with you, then he of all people—a gojo—should be perfectly capable.

all he has to do is wow you with his romantic appeal—and he’s had plenty of experience with wowing people left and right with his charms. plus, he’s had suguru’s help, and as much as he hates to admit it, suguru’s painfully romantic.

it’s a fool proof plan, he thinks. easy peasy and only an utter and completely idiot could mess this up. just make a playlist, suguru had said, one with all the songs they remind you of.

“hey—” he starts.

“leave me alone, gojo,” you say instantly. you don’t even look up from your textbook, only breathing out in irritation from your nose when he plops onto the chair in front of you. “this is my table.”

“technically this table is the property of the university of jujutsu tech at tokyo—”

“if you’re asking for a date, i’ll save you the trouble. the answer is no.”

“you didn’t even hear me out,” he grins smoothly, scooting his chair until it’s next to yours. you try not to strangle him with your phone charger as other students in the library throw death glares your way, unhappy with the way his chair screeches against the floor.

“i don’t have to hear you out.”

“c’mon,” he pouts, poking your arm, “you won’t regret a date with me, i’ll treat you well. spoil you rotten too.”

“you can’t buy my affections,” you turn the page, highlighting a big word that he doesn’t even think he could pronounce if he tried.

“no, but i can win them,” he winks. “i made a playlist of all the songs that remind me of you. pretty romantic huh?”

“is that so,” you finally look up, “a playlist? just for me? am i the first to receive such an honor from the one, the only, gojo satoru?”

it’s meant to be sarcastic, but he grins widely and nods, pulling out his phone as he scrolls through a list of songs.

“of course, you are,” he says proudly, “this song reminds me of you.”

you glance over his shoulder, staring at his screen as he points at it with a finger. the song title makes a vein pop in your forehead.

I Wanna Fuck You

[ E ] Snoop Dogg, Akon

“fuck off, you horny jackass,” you scoff instantly, closing your textbook and hitting him on the arm with it.

“wha—ow!”

“only in your wildest dreams would i fuck you,” you seethe, gathering your things and stomping off. and as gojo sits there, rubbing his arm, trying to ignore all the burning stares, he decides he has to regretfully inform his best friend geto suguru that he is in fact, not as romantic as they thought he was.

[kaixserzz]

Modern AU!

ੈ♡˳ Il Dottore x Gn!Reader *ೃ༄

ੈ♡˳ Masterlist *ೃ༄

author's note ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

this is like 100% inspired by this song "red flags by tom cardy" because it made me think of how the first date with dottore in the modern au would be similar to that song LMAOO,, something short b4 i post smth long, this is a mix of dottore hcs and hcs with you!! if i hadn't given up in art i would've made an animation with dottore with this song :( barely proof read and got a bit lazy im too tired LMAOO enjoy this mess

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ cw: basic dottore warnings, usage of 'zandik' (dottore is like a nickname between friends), (this is an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE okay? an AU where dottore is kinda normal-ish, so don't hate on me for the HEADCANONS. this is totally different from canon dottore), childe x kaeya cameo 😮, again, reader and dottore kinda crazy :3, timeline's fucked but the last section of hcs is when you've dated long enough yk!!

As one of Zandik's oldest friends, Ajax could only want the best for him! Even if it's something Zandik doesn't really care about; take dating, for example.

Zandik's love life was basically nonexistent, and he was never interested in it in the first place. He thinks it's such a waste of time, plus, he is well aware that his 'hobbies' are considered weird, and his personality is hard to get along with.

He'd rather stay in his office, studying his piles of files and documents of his 'hobbies' before he goes to work.

Zandik only agreed to go on a date with this person Childe managed to find through his connections in an attempt to stop his nagging while he was busy.

It's not like he expected the date to go well. Zandik knew that once his date starts asking questions about him, he will be candid about what his interests were, and eventually, his date will run away in fear.

Good, the faster they leave, the faster he can go back to his research.

Even though he didn't want to go on a date, Zandik will still be so formal about it. He will arrive 5 minutes early, spray on one of the most expensive cologne he has, bring a bouquet of flowers for his date, and wear a very presentable outfit.

Zandik appears to be the best date of the century; that's what most people would think as soon as he walks inside the tavern Childe had set up the date.

But, oh, it was just a mere illusion of what he truly was. The question is, can you handle it?

He couldn't wait to see the disappointment on your face once you realize that he isn't what he appeared to be.

"So, what kind of guy is your friend?"

On the tavern's second floor, a group of people were peering down to the first floor. Pantalone, Childe, Scaramouche, and Kaeya sat at the same table, spying on the ongoing date between you and Childe's friend, Zandik.

Childe nervously chuckled and avoided Kaeya's puzzled gaze, rubbing the back of his neck when he raised a confused brow at Childe. Scaramouche, who followed Childe when he heard that Zandik of all people, was getting a date, along with Pantalone, took the liberty of replying to Kaeya instead. "He's weird." He remarked, sipping his cup of tea. "Your friend's likely to run away once he starts talking about something he's into."

"Allow me to clarify," Pantalone interjected before Kaeya could express his concern about you, "He's remarkably charming and well-mannered. Your friend will be in safe hands, rest assured." He offered a reassuring smile, yet Kaeya detected a hint of caution in his demeanor. "However, I must admit, he can be... intense at times."

Scaramouche crossed his arms and laughed sarcastically, "Intense is too shallow of a word to describe him." Then Scaramouche smirked at Kaeya, leaning towards him with a dark expression. "You were foolish to trust this idiot for a decent date for your friend. They'll be devoured alive."

Childe shot Scaramouche a warning glare and playfully punched his arm, then proceeded to put an arm around Kaeya's shoulders. "Don't worry too much, babe! They'll be alright," He said, though it sounded like he was trying to make himself believe with his words instead, "He's not as bad as they're making him out to be!"

Kaeya couldn't help but sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose. "Not that bad..." He muttered under his breath, watching you from above. Well, on the outside, Zandik looked well-kept and even arrived earlier than he expected, with a bouquet of flowers at that. It appeared as if it wasn't his first date, just as Childe had mentioned.

But there was an uneasy aura that surrounded him, and Kaeya didn't know why. And with Childe bringing two other friends along with him to see how the date would end did not quell any of his worries. Fortunately, he has Diluc to keep an eye on you as well as he serves other customers.

He trusts Childe a lot, but he doesn't know if he could trust this 'Dottore'...

Kaeya could tell that you were bored as soon as you walked inside the tavern and spotted your date. You seemed attracted enough to his looks, but it seems like you don't sense anything off about him. All Kaeya wanted was to help you find a lover, so you'd stop pouting at him whenever he talks about Childe to you, but you were so not into the dating scene. So he's a little relieved you're showing a bit of curiosity over your date.

But when you asked about his hobbies, Kaeya couldn't help but let his jaw drop to the floor. He couldn't believe what he heard. It was utterly disturbing and something that should never be said on a first date! His gaze shifted to Childe, who facepalmed in exasperation, while Scaramouche and Pantalone struggled to contain their laughter. He was at a loss for words.

"That sounds illegal!" Kaeya exclaimed, pointing at Dottore, his disbelief evident. "What the hell is your friend?" He stared at them, waiting for an explanation, but Childe, Scaramouche, and Pantalone simply shrugged in unison, as if they expected this to happen.

Childe offered a weak smile to Kaeya and placed a hand on his arm, saying, "Sorry about him really... I tried talking to him, I swear! But I guess he's just—"

"Is that so?" Your eyes were wide at his response. "I don't think you should be saying that in public." You commented with a sly smile, sipping on your drink.

Dottore's grin widened, revealing sharp teeth that strangely fascinated you. "Why not? You asked about my interests, and I answered honestly," he said, leaning in with a mischievous glint in his crimson eyes. "Don't worry; it is a completely legal hobby." His slightly threatening demeanor added an eerie allure to him, leaving you even more intrigued.

To everyone's surprise, including Dottore, you only smiled at him, face lighting up with newfound wonder. "That so? Then tell me more!" Dottore was caught off guard, blinking at you as if you were the one who told him something so absurd.

"Pardon?" Dottore straightened up, his eyebrow raised in surprise as he tried to process your unexpected interest in his peculiar hobby.

"Think I can't take it?" You chuckled, a challenging spark in your eyes. "I didn't expect you to say that, but now I'm curious. Now go on, tell me more."

It was surprising really, to see their friend, who showed little to no interest towards others, even towards his friends, be so engrossed in talking about his recent research and projects to a total stranger.

There was a light in his eyes that they've only seen when he's enthusiastically rambling about it. It was even more shocking that you were actively participating in the conversation with remarks, and questions, just full of genuine curiosity.

Dottore quickly forgot his disdain for this date, a grin permanently etched on his lips as you allowed him to keep talking about his research, no matter how perturbing it was.

He just felt so delighted that someone has finally recognized the potential his research held, and not only were you inquisitive about it, you gave him suggestions that expanded his realm of ideas!

All the while, you were excited to have such an interesting date this time. Kaeya always presented you with some of the most romantic dates you've ever had, but they always ended up boring you. And socializing with boring people tires you.

It was clear that it was such a big red flag if he was into such things, but you couldn't help yourself. He has a cute charm and the way he lit up when you asked about it? You were hooked.

Yes, wear that red-tinted glasses of yours.

Though the context of your conversation was slowly catching other's attention, other people in the tavern glancing and shooting the both of you disturbed looks the longer you talk.

The group spying on your date was still shocked at the sudden development.

Kaeya could feel himself grow weak upon the realization that this is your type of man. And as disturbing as it was, it appeared to be a... perfect match.

Scaramouche couldn't help himself and burst out in laughter. It was a welcoming turn of events; Childe was patting himself on the back, his previous worries turning into pride once he saw them getting along, and Pantalone merely smiled in relief.

But when Kaeya looked back down at your table, Dottore was gone from your table, and you were smiling and waving.

Someone put a hand on his shoulder, and Scaramouche stopped laughing.

"Having the time of your lives?"

Let's just say, the date ended with four people running out of the tavern with a pissed doctor tailing behind them.

Either way, it was successful! You exchanged numbers and set up another date.

Both of you wonder what this new connection would lead into.

♡.♡

Dottore has his own social media accounts. Shocker, right?

He rarely uses them, though, since his friends only force him to make one.

But he does use Instagram to post some images whenever he felt like it.

And just as you'd expect, he posts the most crude images you'd ever see in an account without getting banned or deactivated, despite getting reported half the time.

The posts aren't that bad, most of them are just aesthetically pleasing pictures of his study with filters, like his messy table, jars of preserved organisms, vials of dubious liquids, and his medical tools.

Sometimes, you'd even see some drops of blood in some pictures...

But it all changed when you started dating.

He still posted his weird, mysterious posts of whatever, but it included you.

It spans from just a part of your body being barely in the frame, pictures of your back while you examine his shelves of books he has collected over the years, or simply just you.

At first, you were barely in the pictures, and it still consisted of dark themes, like you holding a scalpel while wearing latex gloves. But the long you've dated, his pictures slowly became quite normal.

His Instagram account? There's never a picture that doesn't have you in it.

Dottore takes a picture of you whenever he feels this sudden urge to capture this one particular moment of you doing anything. Walking, talking, or simply eating.

He always posts the most unintentionally romantic stuff about you. He's so intricate when it comes to taking pictures of you, able to capture such photogenic shots even if you weren't paying attention to the camera.

And the captions to his posts always have articulately composed poems of how he feels about you, and his friends comment on the post, all confused at his sudden romanticism.

Dottore generally doesn't have a train of thought when he does this, though. When it comes to you, his brain merely thinks of you and goes "Hm, the lighting looks wonderful here, I must take a picture here."

And the poems? It's not like he thinks he has to post one to show how much he loves you through the posts, or anything like that. He just literally feels like it. It's like the emotions he has never felt before forming into words, and so he writes them down in the posts. That, and the fact that you seem to like them as well!

Dottore now posts the most jaw-dropping pictures you have ever seen of yourself in your life on Instagram, and no one's stopping him.

"Seems like you can't resist capturing every moment with me, huh?" You chuckled playfully, glancing back as you took a skip with each step, leaving him trying to catch up with his phone already in hand.

Dottore huffed, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips in acknowledgment of your playful remark. He held his phone steadily before him, keen on capturing the essence of your beauty. As you continued to walk, you could feel his eyes on you, waiting for any instruction or cue from him.

You knew how much he loved taking pictures of you.

"Look back at me, darling," He called out from behind, prompting you to turn with a bright smile. In the midst of your movement, you heard a faint click! from his phone, and you quickly rushed toward him, eager to see the picture he took.

With a smirk on his lips, he held his phone just out of your reach, enjoying the playful pout that formed on your lips as you tried to get a glimpse. You got on your tiptoes in an attempt to see, but he kept the photo just beyond your grasp. "Hey! Let me see," You huffed, crossing your arms in mock annoyance. "It's my picture!"

"Ah ah ah, patience, my dear," Dottore teased, slipping his phone back into his pocket, safely out of your reach. You let out a playful whine of disappointment, but he merely grinned in response. "You'll see it later when I post it,"

At the end of the date, Dottore posted the picture on his Instagram as soon as he dropped you off at your place.

Safe to say that you were shocked at how he managed to make a simple picture and pose look so divine with a bit of tweaking with the filters. And the poem he wrote in the caption? Nearly made your heart almost explode.

(This is silly, but he'd probably print out pictures he's taken of you and then put them up on a board or something, so he can look at you while he's working or just doing his 'hobbies'.)

But you, on the other hand? You always manage to capture one of the worst pictures of Dottore and it almost makes you feel bad. It's not like you're doing it on purpose, but when you try to take pictures of him when you aren't on dates, it looks so horrible...

Dottore isn't one for pictures either, so you can only take them when he isn't looking or paying any attention to you (which is rare in itself).

One time, you took a picture of him when you were visiting him in his apartment, and it was so bad.

He looked so haggard, his hair was a mess, and his room was dark, so the flash was automatically on, and his eyes did the shining thing the cats do.

It honestly terrified you when you looked at the picture, but you refused to delete it because you just captured the truest form of Zandik when he was at home.

Still, you decided to post it in your Instagram story, tagging him in it.

You expected him to get mad at you for posting such a ludicrous image of him on the internet, but he didn't even mention it when he saw it.

He actually smiled instead; he was just happy that you posted him in your account. Dottore may not enjoy having his picture taken, but he can't deny the genuine joy that fills him whenever you post about him.

♡.♡

Dottore is a pediatrician. And he absolutely hates it. He loathes every single second he has to do his stupid job instead of expanding on his research.

Like, it wasn't his first decision to be a pediatrician. He wanted to do something else (that may or may not make him a criminal, but we're not going to talk about that).

His family were all doctors and owned their own hospital. His parents noticed his rather odd interests and decided to force him to become a pediatrician to 'tame' him a bit. Make him less weird.

(It kinda worked in my opinion. I mean, in my modern AU HCs, he hasn't killed someone.)

He kinda couldn't do anything about it either way, he has a hard time getting along with others. It would take a lot of patience to even have a conversation with him, so he has been rejected for other jobs.

Despite Dottore hating his job with his entire being, he's unironically really good at being a pediatrician. Just because he hates it doesn't excuse him for doing it half-assed.

He knows he can do it with ease, so he will accomplish as much as a pediatrician.

Dottore doesn't like children, but he's so friendly with them when he's on the job. He's so attentive to their needs and responds smoothly to each kid based on their personality- you can say he's the best at it.

He can tell if a kid isn't being treated properly by their parents and will not be silent about it. Dottore would literally lecture them about it in hopes they do what they're supposed to be doing.

As long as he does his job properly, he can continue with his 'hobbies' without any problems.

Well, his opinion changed ever since you came along.

"It's odd to see you so friendly towards children." You teased with a playful grin, trying to suppress your laughter as you took a seat opposite him at his desk. Dottore wearily rubs his eyes, releasing a heavy sigh of exhaustion, before eagerly reaching for the paper bag you've brought and unveiling the lunch you specially prepared for him that day.

As he hungrily devoured his lunch, he grumbled, "Let me assure you, my dear, I'd rather be engaged in something far more appealing." He paused for a moment, when you wiped some crumbs off his chin with your thumb, "They tend to be loud, messy, and not particularly brilliant, you know."

You giggled at his response, shaking your head. "What do you expect? They are still developing." You remind him gently, trying to bridge the gap between your opinions.

"A stage of humanity where they are utterly useless and vulnerable." He bites back, his disdain towards them evident.

Before you could respond to his comment, a loud cry pierced the air, originating from somewhere outside his office. Both of you turned your heads in surprise.

Dottore furrowed his brow, clearly annoyed by the disturbance. "What on earth is going on out there?" He muttered, standing up from his seat.

Without hesitation, you opened the door and peered outside. The cries continued, and it became evident that a child was in distress.

Dottore sighed, recognizing the situation required his attention, regardless of his feelings towards the children. "Let's see what's happening," He said, reluctantly but responsibly, as he led the way toward the commotion outside his office.

He was about to take care of the situation himself, but seeing how bothered he was, you decided to do it yourself. Crouching down before the crying girl, you cooed at her and wiped her tears away.

"What's wrong, little girl?" You ask softly, patiently waiting for her to speak through her hiccups.

"I can't find my mommy!" She cried, wrapping her arms around your neck and sobbing onto your shirt. Dottore winced at the sight of your shirt getting soaked with tears and snot, but you couldn't care less, picking her up in your arms and rubbing her back.

"Don't worry sweetie, we'll find your mommy, okay?" And with that, you managed to quiet down her cries, keeping her calm throughout the search for her mom, all the while entertaining her and making her laugh.

Dottore was impressed at how easily you consoled the little girl. It usually took a kid's parent or a very long time for him to make them stop crying. How did you do it? Is it simply because of your sheer empathy toward children?

But what puzzles Dottore even more is the warm feeling throughout his body when he sees you interacting with children with such tenderness and kindness. It was as if it was just so natural for you to be so good with children... You'd make a good pediatrician, he thinks. A parent too.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" You ask, raising your brows at him. As the question breaks his reverie, he shakes his head, slightly flustered, and returns to his office. "Oh, it's nothing," He replies, trying to brush off his momentary distraction. "I was just marveling at how naturally you handle children, even better than I do, and I'm the pediatrician."

You merely laughed at his response, playfully nudging his arm. "Looks like I'll be taking your job then," You tease, watching him mockingly sneer at the notion. "I'm just kidding. But you know more about this than I do. You're the doctor here, after all." You give him a reassuring smile.

Dottore was silent for a while, eyes on you, as the thoughts of you being such a good caretaker lingered in his mind. He wonders why he felt so warm inside at those thoughts. He then glances at your ruined shirt, and he scowls. "Get changed, my dear," He insists, "I have some spare clothes in my office. You shouldn't stay in those wet clothes."

Smiling brightly at him, you press a kiss on his cheek, watching the tips of his ears burn. "Thanks, baby!"

His thoughts never left him ever since that day.

You've decided to visit him more often at his work whenever you're free. Watching you play with the children, talking to them, and reading books to them, slowly helped him develop a shift in perspective when it comes to being a pediatrician.

You're basically the catalyst of his developed empathy. He learned how to communicate better with children through sincerity, and it honestly helped him more than he could ever know.

Now, he's coming home less stressed because he's having fun taking care of them.

But he will never admit it, no matter how obvious it was. He still dislikes children to an extent, but you really paved the way for him to become more caring.

It's always such a sight to see Dottore, a sophisticated, grumpy guy who would prefer doing his own research or being with you, grab a toy and start baby-talking to console a kid.

When you first witnessed that, you almost fainted from shock.

God forbid his friends to know about his slight change of nature.

But the biggest change of all? Him realizing that he probably wants to start a family with you.

It simply started with him talking to Childe about how good you were with kids, and he commented, "Dude, then start a family with them."

Then the realization slammed him like an oncoming truck.

He couldn't help himself. He loves you so much that he'd be willing to have children of his own (adopted or not).

Be prepared for a proposal soon :0

- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛❛ If you like this a lot, consider reblogging! I'll appreciate it very very much! Don't repost and/or translate my work anywhere. ❜❜ ┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌

[andypantsx3]

Ah hellooo, hru Andy. How's it going with that whale anon lmaoo 👀 :/

Neways, I love your writing so much and your shipping game got me so exited man, so for that-

I'm pretty quiet around most people, but I go batshit crazy around my friends an people I've known for a really long time. Introvert at heart, I'd rather eat a firecracker than talk to new people yunno, I didn't make my current friends, they sort of just adopted me. I'd like to think that I'm pretty loyal, and work ridiculously hard. I'm the oldest in my immediate and extended family which mean I'm the role model and on top of that my parents were always really strict — I didn't get the freedom most kids did growing up. I was raised to be good at literally everything which makes me really competitive but I tend to not show it so I've just become really passive aggressive. academics is easily one of the most important parts of my life. I've always been pretty good at school and my grades r pretty dope ig but I tend to worry about it a lot anyway because PRESSURE. So that's a lot of expectations to live up to somethimes and it can be a lot. I procrastinate A LOT. the number of wips in my drafts is proof :/ but I also work really well under pressure and in a time crunch which probably isn't healthy but it's helpful. So that's my tragic backstory. It's better than todoroki's, I know 😎.

My favorite subject is science, I'll be majoring in astronomy and other stuff related to that, and my goal is to get a job at NASA eventually. I love space science, just all the mystery in the universe and the planets, nebulas, and STARS. OMFG STARS I FUCKIN LOVE STARS STFU.

I also have a stupid stuuupid sweet tooth. I am a simp for chocolate and smarties, and u can pry my Nutella jars out of my cold. dead. hands. I play the flute and I love it, their such a cool instrument and they sound so pretty. Untill u get past high f sharps, after that their just murder weapons. IM SHORT AF. Idk why Im mentioning this but I feel like it could be relevant, I'm literally not even 5' man it's not fun.

My favorite flowers are wisteria, my favorite animals are tigers, my fav color is red, my fav fruit is mangos, I like to draw and paint, and I wear way too many rings. I love rainy days.

I really want a fucking burger king whopper rn

Aaaaaaaaaand

Cats>>>Dogs

Lmao don't remind me about the whale 💀 Where do whales fall on your cat vs dog scale, hmm?

Funny you mention Todoroki because he's your match! I think you'd work really well with conspire Shouto! You both were raised with supremely high expectations and you'd be able to understand and connect with each other on that level. He's also literally fic-canonically in love with a scientist reader, so you would be PERFECT. He'd love just listening to you explain all the things you love about the stars, and he'd ask really smart, pertinent questions in his deep, even tone. He's also prone to bringing small snacks and drinks as gifts, which would work perfect for your sweet tooth--you'll be inundated with little chocolates up to your eyeballs lol.

[ofcloudsandstars]

Amber and orchard for the fall asks!

amber - share an unpopular opinion that you may have.

Hahaha this is like cracking open pandora’s box. I feel like I have too many. 

I think my primary one though is I absolutely despise capitalism’s affect on witchcraft. I DO NOT think it’s made it more accessible for people, I feel like the only very minor positive thing is that you can now tell people you are a witch and into tarot cards and they won’t find you as weird anymore. Otherwise people don’t realize how capitalism is a force that actually strips culture of it’s meaning in order to sell it for profit and it’s affects on this practice has left a lot of damage not just to some aspects that are sacred but towards the earth since it’s a practice that works really closely with nature. 

(added a read more to spare you poor scrolling souls from my rant lol)

Anyway what crapitalism does is it takes a culture and turns it into an easily consumable concept- almost like a brand, so that as long as you slap something ‘witchy’ seeming together then it qualifies as that brand. It boils everything down to an aesthetic. And no one has to actually believe in it anymore, or practice it or make any effort towards learning it or incorporating it into their lives. As long as they buy into the brand or embody the aesthetic then they count. Sometimes you can try to express that some traditions and materials and such do have meaning (I mean of course they do no one just sat around and made this shit up) people kind of have this nihilistic view that’s fed from this weird modern capitalist society that like: nothing truly has meaning anymore. But it’s like they are feeding this consumerist culture by repeating this mindset and gaslighting others when they appropriate magical practices or other cultures that are still very much alive and still tended to (often by indigenous people still being prosecuted) that are focused on working with the earth. 

Then you see this ripple effect on places like instagram or the big mainstream like magazines and shit and do not get me wrong cause there are a lot of cool and creative people that practice this that are on there but there is so much cashing into this field now and oversaturation that comes with seedy and shady background stories that show creators being completely disingenuous because they really just want to make money. And then going back to my point that this practice works closely with nature, capitalism exploited the fact that we like working with certain herbs, woods, crystals etc and is overharvesting and mining and tainting the very tools that we want to work with, with greed, pollution, child slavery etc. And it’s irritating cause you can make your own tools and don’t have to import anything and you can tell everyone how bad some industries are but they don’t listen cause they are buying into capitalism’s lie that they can sell you anything at a price, even if it’s sacred. Then if you try to defend your point they tell you that this is the only way it can be accessible to everyone, but it’s NOT accessible to everyone, it strips it away from people that could be working with these tools for generations and protecting the climates that these guides and resources for the tools grow in. It also disempowers people in their craft to begin with because witchcraft is about finding that connection to your own power and magic and the bridge with the universe’s power and magic and when you venture down into this practice you will find tools and guides local to you and find ways to make your own magical tools but capitalism disempowers us by telling us that we are not legit until we can put a price tag on it. So people don’t believe in their ability to find the sacred in themselves or nature, they just keep consuming whatever herb bundle or tool capitalism spits at them because it’s the only way to feel legit in this culture. 

And then since it’s seen more of a title or aesthetic and less of a way of life or set of ethics or practice, you have people interested in this spiritual or witchy community that don’t do any work or want to work on themselves that bring their shadow baggage into it. So you get racism seeping into it, homophobia, I also am so fucking confused how TRANSPHOBIA has made its way into here like transfolx are magical by just existing they are walking manifestations and works of alchemy like wtf; and like if you guys were friends with any queer people and hung out with them, they get the idea of magic, ritual and manifestation so well cause so much of their daily life already embodies some of that. But that’s a whole other topic. I vibed well with my queer friends on this and they were the only ones I could talk to about it before witchcraft became mainstream. 

 Then in general it’s seen as like radical if you tell people that are supposedly practicing witches that our energies should be focusing on restoring balance and we should put our energy towards healing nature or towards human rights (since humans are apart of nature) you will literally have witches being like: don’t tell me what to do!!! Like!! Gurl wtf lmaoo I don’t know how people claim to be empaths or into this but they don’t see that maybe if there was a so called “Great Awakening” to “Empower Ourselves” that’s probably what the fucking point was? Not to say that you need to spend every waking moment protesting (another contribution of capitalism- showing some kind of documented proof on social media that you stand for something instead of little daily actions embedded into your everyday life) but you can find ways to change your daily patterns to make space for the societal change that’s coming to bring in a more compassionate world and better community. But since we are so indoctrinated in this consumerist culture, so many people don’t know how to incorporate their values into their everyday lives anymore. It’s all about quantity and showing off on social media. And that negatively impacts witchcraft cause witchcraft is a daily practice you do little things for everyday that just gets embedded into your everyday life, but people get confused and think to be legit it’s something you gotta buy into or show off as proof with stylistic rituals and of course for many people that’s exhausting or financially inaccessible. 

And for the sake of clarity cause the internet hates using critical thinking sometimes, of COURSE you can have a fun and flashy craft I’m not saying you can’t, but there is a massive imbalance here I am pointing out with how people are developing insecurities because they cannot attain this aesthetic overnight without dropping a shit ton of money. Yes witchcraft is very aesthetic-heavy but that’s because it’s a really creative practice that people pour their creativity and energy into and capitalism saw a way to put a price tag on it and now it’s confusing everyone else that’s mistaking this as something else to consume in exchange for money. 

And then I hate that I feel often I cannot talk about this cause instead of people using their critical thinking braincells and realizing how bad capitalism is, they somehow turn this conversation into thinking that I just don’t like when a culture becomes mainstream cause not everyone should enjoy a culture or whatever and it’s like fucking hell of course I would LOVE more witches and to have more people into celebrating nature or finding their own magic and connecting to the universe and whatever, but capitalism isn’t helping at all. It’s separating us from it’s connection and the meaning behind it’s practice. (Also one day I dream of living in a witchy town or community so yeah, the more the merrier, but right now with capitalism, this method is not the way to get into this practice lol). 

You really see the negative effects of capitalism marketing witchcraft because people now treat it as like this commodity they can jump into without finding a way to genuinely connect with it cause it’s all just a gimmick until the next zeitgeist. This either manifests in two ways where they think they can just buy a book or read some posts and not do any work on themselves or thinking on stuff like cultural appropriation so when they start experimenting they might bring harm to themselves by evoking spirits that do not want to work with them, or taking in some sacred herb or substance that can fuck them up leaving deep psychological damage or death- or they can harm others in a myriad of ways. 

Then the other way it manifests are people feeling like witchcraft is suddenly inaccessible because you need money to practice it because capitalism put that veil over their eyes. It’s now another thing gatekept by money. So they try to reclaim it by being like: it’s just a title you can slap on yourself; but they give capitalism more power because that’s what capitalism was doing all along by stripping the meaning. Stripping it down to a concept that only matters as a label that evokes a brand or idea but not an actual practice. In a way it’s very counter culture to not buy into the aesthetic or put in effort anymore. Even if you want to put in effort you feel like you are not good enough cause you will never fit capitalism’s standards of quantity and money to spend to showcase it on the internet to feel legit. So people develop this no-effort approach to it. And ONCE AGAIN for clarity for the internet’s lack of critical thinking and jumping to conclusions I am NOT referring to anything like spoony witchcraft or energy based witchcraft (I am an energy witch primarily thank you very much) I am talking about people calling themselves witches but then when you want to sit down and chat about the craft they have a blank stare cause they were never serious and sometimes judge you for how much you cared about it cause they don’t really believe in it anyway. Not even cause it’s woowoo it’s cause capitalism doesn’t make you believe any anything anymore. The only thing it wants you to believe in is money and what you can consume with it.  

And then when people online try to talk about this and point out it’s a practice these guys get angry with you like you are gatekeeping but it’s like BITCH it’s a FREE FUCKING PRACTICE like GO TALK TO A TREE go COLLECT A ROCK YOU FOUND IN THE CLEAR STREAM OF A BABBLING BROOK and maybe you’d CALM THE FUCK DOWN. Capitalism making it seem like you gotta buy all this shit to be seen as legit is not what this practice is about and it makes me upset how there is like this massive group of people that want to access this culture but are so lethargic about actually doing anything because they are disenchanted and it’s really because they are mentally bogged down by capitalism’s grip on it making them feel like they aren’t shit cause they can’t afford all that bullshit that ain’t gonna help them anyway so they just call themselves witches to get them 2 drops of serotonin and feel included but never really go anywhere beyond that cause capitalism strips the fucking joy and meaning out of everything. The only reason why this bothers me is cause I could be staying in my lane drinking my herbs and shit and chilling but then people either judge me for the effort I put into my practice’s aesthetics thinking I am shallow and buying into this or they think I am being reckless and dangerous believing in something not real by practicing a craft that tbh has a lot of dangerous aspects to it so it’s not rated E for everyone. Like you can fit it to what you want it to be since it’s your journey but it’s always been a bit edgy in some ways and it’s annoying when you get people judging you now for your lifestyle or they wonder why you are so invested cause they don’t get it. 

Anyway that was a rant but you asked for it lol. 

orchard - share one thing that you’d like to happen this autumn.

Get some more weed 

Thanks for the asks lol. Kept the last one short haha but it’s true I have been trying to manifest for a while after my quarantine rations went out. Here are the autumnal asks if anyone else wants to ask or reblog them!

[softpine]

this is a ridiculously long one, i’m sorry! i broke it into sections so it’s easier to find your ask

[not related to the current simblr issue]

@tastelesscolors​ ahhhhhhhh i can’t even tell you how happy this made me, this is the sweetest thing 🥺 i’ve always wanted to make people see the world differently through my writing (because in writing this, i’ve also started to see the world differently) so that’s a HUGE compliment!! thank you so so much!! 💖💖💖

i don’t think i understand what this means jfksjd sorry that happened to you though :(

considering i had to rewrite some of my plot because it just wasn’t fitting right.... me too 😅 jskdjs but thank you!! i’m glad you’re interested 💖

fjskdjs me!

omg i wish i could help, but the only mullet i can think of off the top of my head is this one. otherwise i have no idea, that’s why i had to make asa’s myself :( i’m sorry!!

i would rather not share, somehow people twist it into something else even if just post the number and give zero input about it. i don’t pay attention to numbers anyway, it stresses me out :/

[about my horrific chemistry exam lmfao]

@orphyd​ i love u more nia 🥺🥺💖💖💖

thank you!! i think i would need more luck than the entire universe contains but 😅 i appreciate it 💖

thank you so much 🥺 i’m trying to stay positive and hope that the next test will be better, but honestly i’m already resigning myself to the fact that i’ll have to retake this one too. i wish i could blame it on the pandemic but this has been happening much longer than covid fjksjds but it’s okay!! i’ll finish it one way or another, i’m committed! thank you again for reaching out 💖💖

sjksjd i don’t cheat, but thank you! 💖💖 i just want to get on with my life and get a job and actually have something of my own for once... i feel like i’ve been in college for 20932092 billion years :(

thank you so much, i needed to hear this 🥺💖 i sent my professor an email right after the test, basically just explaining that i wasn’t trying to insult her with my horrible score lmao. i had her for chemistry 1 last year (the semester that i actually passed it lmaoo) so she already knows that i struggle with chemistry, but i just feel like not only did i let myself down, but i also let her down. it’s been especially hard not having classes in-person because a 20 minute zoom meeting just isn’t the same as a real lecture :( i don’t know what else she could possibly do for me, i just really..... REALLY suck at chemistry :( but i appreciate you reaching out, it feels good to just be reminded that i’m more than this one class 💗

[related to the current simblr issues]

trigger warning for: racism, antisemitism, bullying (of minors), etc.

here’s the briefest summary i can manage:

oliveandoak & simvicii used to be popular simblrs last year. they started a discord. that discord included many other popular simblrs. in that discord, they all participated in things like racism, antisemitism, bullying of minors, targeted hate, etc. [more proof]. none of these people came forward or reported the behavior that was happening in the discord. now that they’ve been called out, lots of them are posting apologies, but you have to wonder how sincere they could possibly be, given that some of them helped write oliveandoak’s apology and called it “damage control”... so that’s a super quick summary! i suggest reading all the screenshots if you want further proof

i’m genuinely very sorry that this topic is triggering for you, but i’ve already been tagging everything with the appropriate tags (racism tw, antisemitism tw, bullying tw, etc.) and i feel it would be disrespectful for me to tag it as anything else (like drama tw, because it’s not drama, it’s much more than that). i also miss my dash being full of creativity and love, but right now we’re seeing that pushing everything under the rug doesn’t help anyone. i would recommend taking a hiatus if this is negatively affecting your mental health, and i’m truly sorry that this situation is triggering

literally!! i can’t even describe how angry i was this morning when i woke up to see that list including multiple people who had dm’ed me yesterday (pretending that they were innocent & that they all stood up to oliveandoak when in reality they were actively participating in everything). their apologies mean absolutely nothing considering they couldn’t even own up to me privately. they’re just covering their asses and i feel so stupid for trusting them even for a moment

yeah i’ve never thought about leaving simblr until now tbh. i’m still not going to leave until my story is done, but this has made me realize that 1. people suck, 2. the internet makes it even easier for people to suck :( i’m so sorry that you don’t feel safe or welcome on simblr, i can’t even imagine how this must feel for anyone affected. just know that i love and support you and if there’s anything i can possibly do to make you feel more welcome, let me know 💖

literally me!! i’ve never used discord (except with irl friends) and i’m definitely not about to start now. can’t trust anyone!

@bb-enablefreebuild​ omg thank you, but it’s okay! it’s not about me. i just feel sad that people used me as a mouth piece and i trusted them when they said they were just being manipulated in that group. when really they were manipulating me haha. but now i know better 🤷🏻‍♀️ ily!! 💖

[apenapaperandadoofus]

i am drunk(not rlly i just drank one bottle of apple juice and it looked like beer) and i had a thought mc with knowledge of all the routes and endings and dlcs getting tired of everyones sh*t and just info dropping EVERYTHING (mint eye, v, rika, mika, saeran, prime minister) the second they appear in the messenger like they typed it out in their notes and were like “fridge it maybe thisll save everyone idec anymore” and press send and watch the chaos unfold

Jesus Christ imagine how chaotic that would be!

There’s plenty of ways this could go:

One is that Saeyoung gets a bit triggered because you literally told everyone everything, and maybe doing that could just bug the game and destroy everything, so maybe he will try and cover whatever you’re saying up.

The second one is that the mystic messenger characters already knew, and they’re like yeah we know (have you all watched this Youtuber’s animatic? Her name is RosMo and she literally made the best fucking thing ever, her animatics are connected and to finish the whole project she made like links that would take you to a word document and you have to like decode some stuff, it also gives you a link to the next video and an audio of the RFA members it’s so freaking good)

There could also be the possibility that the RFA just thinks you’re crazy and immediately kicks you out lmao

Maybe if you have enough proof they’d believe you.

Who knows, there’s tons of ways this could work out pft

If you already knew about the prime minister, Saeyoung would definetly not see you as a friend at first. After all, how do you know this info?

Also V will try to get you to keep quiet, since dropping a bombshell like that in the RFA chatroom would be fucking insane.

I mean, it’d be a ton of info to process, so maybe all of them could just have each a mini panic attack

So maybe don’t do it all in one go pft

Another theory is that the universe would probably explode but who knows LMAOO

[maagicmiss]

Endgame spoilers !! Beware the spoil !!

This movie was amazing. With a lot of humor, which never fall flat. I was dumbfounded from the beginning to the end tbh Nobody asked for it but there is my hot take of Avengers 4 :

I felt really bad for Thor because ya know, depression™️ but damn the surprise/shock made me laugh. Noobmaster is an absolute evil that we need to end. They kinda did him dirty, I really wasn’t wanting for that but eh 🤷🏻‍♀️ Broken man 😔 Everytime I think about how much he lost I die inside a little more. Rocket was the real best dude here. Cheers to him. I was so fck happy for him when he got his hammer back !!! Like !!! "I’m still worthy" !!!!! You go you funky thunderous man !!! He deserves to be happy at all cost. Protect this man. During the last battle I was shook, with both his hammer and axe, fighting the purple asshole, so cool. Amazing, truly. Also, when he gave Valkyrie the commandment ?? My queen. She’s now my queen. By the way, we all know who’s in command of the Guardians now 🔥🔥😂

I can’t exprim how much I was sad for Natasha. When I saw them climbing this damned mountain I understood it was over for her 😭😭 I will love her until my dying breaths. She did deserve better but she died protecting her family, and the earth. She was the one who fought until the end, who did everything she could, and managed to avenge the earth. Thanks to her Thanos was defeated. Let’s honor her 😭👊🏻🔥

Clint. Like, dude. Pain. Angst. A bit of stupidity but that’s Clint so yeah. The assasinsbowl was ofc won by Natasha, and he lived. I would’ve been pissed if he died because he killed all this (bad indeed) people out of pettiness and sadness and anger for his family but he would’ve let himself die ? I understand. But like, dude. No. You’re a father. A husband. Natasha was ofc going to sacrifices herself instead of you.

HULK !!! My man. He’s happy and that’s all that matter 😭❤️ We stan a confident and humourus man y’all (Im still waiting for a height joke when Scott got aaaaaall huge in the end rip) Also, him being ashamed of his past self ??? Amazing. I couldn’t even in my wildest dreams lol I was dead when he met the old sorceress and got kicked out of his body lmaoo

STEVE. Or best known as America’s ass. Bae. I love that man. Everybody does. He did it. He did all his possible and it payed off. Also what a quick learner. When the hammer got lift, I was "W H O ???" Tbh I was thinking Loki, like "yo surprise bitches" but it was way better xD I think I screamed lmaooo But man, so fucking cool and impressive. That scene where he stand alone in front of Thanos and of his whole army ? With his broken shield ? I C O N I C. I am already seeing all the edit, gif, tribute, fanart and fanfic about it. I can’t wait y’all. Although, I was a bit disappointed about his closure ? Like yeaaah it was neat but... idk....... a bit dissatisfied and disappointed. The Steve/Steve was funny but also sad, idk. Although, Steve in the elevator saying Heil Hydra was beautiful.

Tony. I need to say it. Steve did him dirty. Like. Poor man. He didn’t deserve that, at all. I would’ve preferred Steve snapping down Thanos than him. He’s a father !! A husband too !!! Steve promised to him he wasn’t going to die. LIES, ALL LIES. I’m salty. But no hate for the blond man please. In the end, it was Tony choice. In the end with "The proof that Tony Stark has a heart" was heartbreaking. I wasn’t ready AT ALL. I’m not his biggest fan but oh damn, Sadness got me down. His daughter ? Pain. The little kid from Iron man 3 ?? Pain. Happy being sad ? Pain. Pepper ? Pain. I’m dead. He deserved better 😔 When he met his dad, I was dying. Dying of sadness but also of joy. Glad he could talk to him, and even hug him !!!!

Carol !!! THE bitch. I love her. She could walk on me and I would apologize. We didn’t saw her that much but ya know, it’s cool. I gave her entry a 9/10 because there wasn’t thunder lol (unlike Thor in Infinity War, who rightfully had a mighty 10/10). She was a queen. That haircut ? Beautiful.

Nebula. She’s my bae. Protect her. She’s doesn’t seem to need it but she does. Baby. She baby. But she’s a dangerous baby so be careful lmao Her killing in cold blood her past her (??? Was that suicide ?? Or murder ?? Or murder suicide idk ???) to protect her past sister was tragically sad and heartbreaking and beautiful. I’m saying a lot beautiful but hey I’m doing my best with my limited vocabulary. Nebula and her, and the guardian deserves happiness. Lowkey shooketh that nobody saw it was the past Nebula and not the right one but I’m going to excuse them by saying it the excitement of having all Infinity stones and of sadness for Natasha. Other way I’m about to throw hands 🤬😤

Iconic moment :

Carol saving Tony’s ass. We all knew that was how it gonna to happen but I was so relieved. 9/10.

Thor killing in cold blood Thanos in front of everyone, dead inside was wow, brutal. Not happiness out of it, no recomfort. Merciless, brutal, cold. He was here for the head and he got it. 7/10

Not an iconic moment but shush. The five years later ? I was astonished. It must have been 5 painful years. The world was in shred, dusts and broken people everywhere. Pain. Everything is blue, melancholic, broke. If I was one of the missing people coming back I would tell to every fucking one that joke "Hey, I’m gone like 5 seconds and everybody go apeshit ? What would you all do without me ?" Yeah im that bitch lmao 10/10 because you feel that emptiness and sadness.

Tony joining the idiots and Tired Steve™️ with an actual good plan in his fancy car with a lot of skids and other fancy stuff ? 10/10 good one, boi

That scene from Avengers 1 ? Then them on the side ? 6/10

Steve in that elevator ? You already know. 9/10

Steve commenting on his own ass ?? 1000/10 Trust me, it’s fair. Were waiting for that since Avengers 1.

I love Steve

Loki ?? Man, that dude is a joke but I love him. The face he made when he saw the case slide.... beautiful. The face he made when he jumped in the time hole ??? Iconic. 10/10. I want to know how everything is gonna to play with his series. I wanted more of him tbh I even was waiting for him in the last battle. By the way, is he still dead ? If he never went to Odin.... idk. Lowkey confused here.....

And last but not least :

The final battle.

Damn.

The fight between Iron Man, Thor, Captain and Thanos was intense. I was on the edge of my seat lmao It reminds me of their fight in Avengers 1, in the forest, for Loki. They were fighting against each other, now they’re fighting together 🔥👊🏻❤️ 9/10

Steve picking up the hammer ? 10/10 No comment, it’s fair. (The "I knew it" of Thor was priceless)

Steve getting a rematch on Thanos with both his shield and Hammer ? I C O N I C. 9/10 because it didn’t last long in my opinion.

Steve in front of the whole army ? Alone ? The face dirty of dirt and blood, the shield cut in half ? After he slowly stood up, even tho he was tired and probably had broken ribs ? How dare you not applause. That old man was ready to fight them all, and to fucking die. Stupid but amazing. 1001/10. Slightly better than him commenting on his own ass lmao (tag me if u ever do a fanart of this scene please)

Sam calling Steve ? Not iconic but still. I was dying and it cured me. My skin is clear, my debt are payed off, my grades are perfect and I’m now immortal.

The Powerful Women squad ? Damn. I love it. Sign me up for 10 movies about their shenanigans around the universe. 10/10

All the dead one coming back to life ? All the dead coming through the portals ? And looking badass af ?? Doctor Strange ? Wong ? Wanda ? Sam ? Bucky ? Spider man ? The Guardians looking sharp ? Black Panther with his sister and Okoye ? The Wankanda Army ? The spatial ships ? EVERYONE ????? Bitch Please, it was perfect. 10/10.

Tony snapping ? "I’m Iron Man." I was euphoric. 10/10. Then I was really sad. So 10/pain

"Proof that Tony Stark has an heart" ? A painful 7/10.

As you can read, I loved that movie. Like, very much, but, I’m a bit dissatisfied about the music. The Russos were idk, timid ? Shy about it. Most of them were old one, the themes of the characters and the principal theme (the one from avengers 1). Nothing too extraordinary, nor extravagant. Can do better.

Also, idk why but I found that Hulk was a bit weird ? Idk he seemed emotionless ? Maybe it’s only me but I didn’t like that much the CGI of Hulk this time.

Wanda. She barely spoke. Rip

Tony’s death. He shouldn’t have died.

Steve’s old days/death/idk. I’m not buying it. I don’t like it either. Glad Sam is Captain America now tho. Sad for Bucky. The dude is gonna end up alone in 2022 (or idk what years) with only Sam and Steve’s grandchildren or idk Rip dude

There is soooo much to say about this movie. Like, I write something down and something else is immediately coming up x) Maybe I’ll edit stuff later.