#it’s about the fact that no one else saw him at his very worst and kept helping.. kept caring.. kept loving

[moons-among-distant-stars]

hehehehehehehehehehe glad you like it :D

this is the reaction i aspire to bring out in people and also how i feel about them

and YOU GET IT!!! YOU GET THEM!!! the intimacy of being two people who know each other much too well to be anything but lovers!!! like they’re stuck in this dance!!! it’s a fatal dance and they know how it will end but as it is … and it is… then they may as well dance, drawing closer and closer together, just two slow dancers.. last ones out

(also if you make art of them as a binary system i’ll blinding cry so please tag me)

this is how i see them

[galaxymagitech]

Promises to Keep

For @jasontoddweek2025 Day 5:

Family | No Capes AU | Jason is a Literature Nerd

Summary: From the very beginning, it has been exceedingly clear that Jason was at Wayne Manor to be Robin. College was simply not in the cards. So, when Jason finds himself sneaking off to go to English Literature lectures at GothamU, it’s only a matter of time until it comes crashing down.

Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson

Warnings: Violations of privacy, paranoia, referenced drug overdose and underage drug use, vomiting

You can read it here or on AO3!

Jason steps into the lecture hall, wiping his palms against his jeans as he surveys the room. There are blackboards set up at the front, covered in the chalk residue of the day’s earlier classes. And then, in the seats, there’s a sea of students chatting and laughing as they take out their notebooks for their class. Can they tell that Jason doesn’t belong here? He’s fourteen, and it shows. But no one comes up to Jason to tell him to go away, so he slides into an empty seat near the back and takes out a new notebook from his bright red backpack.

Jason is not supposed to be here. In fact, he told Bruce that he would be at the library, reading some legal texts in a “less stuffy environment” than the Manor. But the last time he was sick, he saw a movie where the characters were in college, listening to a professor talk for hours about classic literature. And Jason just had to see if that’s what college lectures are like. 

He knows he’s not going to college. From the very beginning, it has been exceedingly clear that Jason was at Wayne Manor to be Robin. In fact, Bruce had told Jason that he didn’t need to worry about CPP putting him in an abusive home in the same breath that he’d informed Jason of his new job. And Bruce had told Jason that he was going to adopt him shortly after his first big sting operation. So yeah. It’s always been obvious.

And that’s fine! It really is. In fact, it’s better than fine. When Batman had first told Jason to get in his car, he had—not expected the worst, but considered it, certainly. In comparison to that, room, board, protection from social services, and a high school diploma in exchange for a job that lets Jason help people is a sweet deal.

But Bruce has never once mentioned college. Bruce has told Jason he needs to pass his classes so that the state won’t get involved and look too deeply at Bruce Wayne. Beyond that, though, it’s obvious that there’s nothing for the Mission to gain from Jason’s continued education. In fact, college is probably counter-productive to vigilantism—there’s gotta be a reason why Dick Grayson didn’t go.

So, yeah. Jason knows that college isn’t going to happen. But he couldn’t help himself, and now he’s here in the lecture hall, panicking because he lied to Batman just to hear some old guy talk about books.

Professor Williams calls the room to attention and begins writing on the blackboard. “So,” he says. “Shakespeare.” He turns to the room. “Thoughts?”

Everyone laughs. Jason is too nervous to do anything but stare.

“Don’t be shy,” Prof. Williams says. Jason wonders how he’s managing to project his voice throughout this huge lecture hall. “Everyone has thoughts about Shakespeare. Yes!” He points enthusiastically out at the crowd. Heads turn. “Elle Woods!” Nothing. “That’s you over there, with the pink.”

“Oh, yeah.” Jason’s gaze falls on a young woman with a pink jacket, pink skirt, pink shirt, pink notebook, pink feathery pen, and pink backpack. Pink overload. “Uh, he’s old? And he’s pretty important. The Lion King was based on one of his plays, yeah?”

“Excellent.” Prof. Williams writes that down on the blackboard. ‘Old’ and ‘Lion King.’ The girl doesn’t even look embarrassed. “Anyone else? You!”

“He was probably bi, right?”

Prof. Williams writes that down on the board too. He takes a few more opinions, before drawing a line across the blackboard.  “So, that’s a lot of thoughts. And I’ll bet a lot of you who didn’t raise their hands had thoughts on Shakespeare too. Even if it’s that he’s an old fuddy-duddy and you didn’t want to offend me by saying so. Now. Thoughts on Thomas Ingelend?”

Silence. Jason looks down at his notebook, feeling his cheeks go red. He’s heard of Shakespeare, of course, even read Shakespeare while sheltering from the cold or heat at the Gotham Public Library, but he has no idea who Thomas Ingelend is.

Prof. Williams writes the name on the board. “Thomas Ingelend, anyone? Of course, not. Well, he only wrote one play. Shakespeare wrote thirty-eight. That’s not all there is to it, though. You only keep writing plays if you’re good at it. Otherwise, you get fired, and you get a job teaching English Lit at a university.” That gets a laugh. “I would know.” Another laugh. “Now, Shakespeare is one of my favorite parts of this course. Brontë? Some of you are familiar, no doubt, but many of you are blank slates. But Shakespeare? Everyone has an opinion on Shakespeare. Remember, this course is not about learning books, or poems, or plays. It’s about learning analysis. So, you’re going to dive deeper into Shakespeare than you’ve ever done before. Discover something new. And by the end of this unit, I expect you every one of you to change at least one of those opinions.”

Jason spends the next hour with energy buzzing beneath his skin as he takes notes on anything and everything the professor says. He wishes he could raise his hand and participate in the discussion, but he can’t risk drawing attention to himself. So, he just listens. And even that is amazing.

Two days later, Jason goes back.

And the following Monday, Jason returns again.

Jason finds himself “going to the library” twice a week. He borrows various Shakespeare works from the school library and secrets them away to his room, not daring to use the Manor’s library—Jason learned early in life that if something is important to you, people will find a way to use it against you. So he hides the books underneath his bed and fills them to the brim with sticky notes, then ignores the wrenching of his heart as he removes his annotations and tears them into tiny scraps that no one can read.

Professor Williams finishes the Shakespeare unit and move onto a survey of English poetry. Jason writes the verses of “‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers” on the inside of his notebook, because that’s Robin, right there—Robin’s magic.

And he gets complacent. Because in late April, two months after Jason first entered that lecture hall, Bruce confronts him in the entryway to Wayne Manor, and Jason doesn’t have a plan.

“Where were you?” Bruce asks, face set in a stern grimace. Jason’s eyes flicker up to meet his, and he knows, instantly, that Bruce has caught him.

“The library,” Jason tries, just in case Bruce is bluffing.

Bruce steps forwards. Jason finds himself stumbling back until he’s leaning against the door. “Don’t lie to me, Jason.”

“I’m not!” Jason insists, even though he knows he’s digging himself deeper. What else can he do? Jason’s spent two months unofficially taking a college class, wasting hours a day reading, just…being completely irresponsible. He can’t admit that to Bruce. And yes, a lecture hall is one of the least bad things he could be doing when he snuck off, but if Bruce gets the sense that Jason is more trouble than he’s worth, that Jason won’t be a full-time vigilante when he graduates, that he won’t be a worthy investment…well, Jason is at Wayne Manor to be Robin. And if he’s not Robin, he has no place there.

Bruce kicked Dick out. Dick and Bruce think Jason doesn’t know that. They still say that Dick ‘left.’ But Jason has heard Dick screaming at Bruce for taking Jason on after firing him, and he’s not an idiot.

Dick was just like Jason. An orphan without a place to stay. A Robin who developed other priorities. (And spending too much time with the Teen Titans is still loads more dedicated to the Mission than a random English class. If Dick got fired, Jason doesn’t stand a chance.)

“You’ve been sneaking off for months, Jason. I think I deserve some answers.”

Jason bristles. You’re not my father, he thinks. You’re not in charge of me. But that’s wrong. Bruce has complete legal authority over Jason—he’s officially in charge of him, without even the CPP check-ins. And worse, Batman is in charge of Robin. Like a commanding officer. He forces his shoulders to relax. “I’m sorry,” he says, trying to put as much apology into his voice as possible. “It won’t happen again.”

He turns to leave, but Bruce’s hand catches Jason’s upper arm. Jason flinches.

Fuck. He hasn’t flinched from Bruce since that very first week, when Jason had known he was safe but his body hadn’t quite caught up yet.

A flinch looks weak, but more than that, it looks guilty. It looks like Jason’s body is saying Bruce will hurt mebecause Bruce should hurt him. Because Jason did something that deserves a smack in the face—or worse.

“What’s gotten into you, Jason?” Bruce asks. For a moment, Jason considers just telling Bruce. Sure, it’s bad, but he can promise never to visit GothamU again, promise not to go into the Manor library, spend extra time studying the law and doing casework to make up for skiving off. But before he can make up his mind, Bruce continues. “Sneaking around, hiding things, yelling—if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were doing drugs!”

Immediately, Jason’s eyes go wide with shock. Doing drugs. Doing drugs. How could Bruce even think that? Jason watched his mother waste away, administered naloxone as she overdosed, found her dead body on the bathroom floor. “Fuck you,” he whispers.

“Language,” Bruce says sternly.

“No,” Jason says, stumbling away towards the stairs as his heart pounds wildly in his chest. He knows he should be trying to convince Bruce, trying to defuse the situation, but—Fuck him. He can’t. “Fuck you! What the hell, B?” Shaking with rage, Jason takes one of the steps backwards, trying to gain some height, some control over the situation.

Bruce interprets it as an escape attempt. “Don’t you dare walk out on this conversation.”

Jason blinks the tears from his eyes. “It’s none of your fucking business where I went! I’ve been great on patrol and my grades are fine, so you don’t have to worry about your fucking cover!”

“That’s it!” Bruce storms forwards and Jason scrambles up the steps. “You’re grounded.”

Jason gasps for air. He can’t be grounded. Professor Williams is going to do Austen next. “You’re not in charge of me! I can go wherever I want and you’re just being controlling asshole!”

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that!” Bruce roars.

Jason flinches again. And then, he runs.

“You’re benched too!” Bruce screams, but Jason isn’t listening. Instead, he races into his room and slams the door behind him, locking it with trembling hands. “Don’t slam the door!” Bruce shouts as Jason slides down into a seated position, pulling his knees to his chest and covering his ears as he struggles to breathe.

It’s safe, Jason reminds himself, but it doesn’t help much. Bruce promised. Bruce promised. In fact, that had been one of the first things he said when they got to Wayne Manor. He’d shown Jason his room and promisedJason that he would never go in there without his express permission.

“Safe,” Jason whispers. “Safe, safe, safe.”

He doesn’t quite believe it.

***

The next morning, Alfred drives Jason to school. After catching a glimpse of the butler’s disappointed expression, Jason spends the rest of the ride looking down and avoiding Alfred’s gaze. He drifts through the school day, unable to pay attention but dreading his return to the Manor. Bruce is still mad at him, and Alfred is mad too, and Jason is benched, so he can’t even be useful. If Jason doesn’t fix this, and soon, he’ll be back out on the streets.

Sure, Jason was offended by Bruce’s accusation, but his pride isn’t worth giving up the best thing that’s happened to Jason since his mother died.

I’ll apologize when I get home, Jason decides. And explain. And offer to fix it. Extra work, giving up reading…whatever Bruce wants, if it means that this can be forgiven.

But only a couple of hours later, Jason walks into his room only to feel something odd prickling on the back of his neck. Immediately, Jason goes still. Something’s wrong.

On first glance, the room looks perfectly normal. But Bruce trained Jason to be a detective, and now that’s his downfall.

This morning, Jason tried to slam his shirt drawer shut in frustration, but it didn’t close all the way. He had just abandoned it, though, and run out of the room so that Alfred wouldn’t be even more upset with him for being late. It’s closed, now.

Jason always puts his tissue box on his dresser the same way. And the angle is perfect, but the distance from the box to the edge is ever so slightly off in the way that only someone who saw it every day would notice.

One of the paintings on Jason’s wall is crooked. The mirror is missing a smudge. The pair of shorts that fell from his laundry basket is sitting there in the corner—right-side out.

And the small things add up. Someone has been in Jason’s room.

Nausea rolls in his stomach, and before he knows it, Jason is bent over the toilet, vomiting. His throat burns and his eyes tear up with what he tells himself is just the acidic stench.

It was Bruce. It had to have been Bruce. And the man is so good at details that for him to make this many mistakes—enough for Jason to notice—he had to have been mad. Jason shudders.

But Bruce promised.

Jason’s stomach contracts again and he shuts his eyes tight as he throws up. His hands clench the toilet seat, knuckles turning white.

Bruce promised he wouldn’t go into Jason’s room. But he did. He broke that promise.

What other promises will Bruce break?

Jason is being stupid. Bruce—Bruce probably thought Jason’s anger was guilt, that Jason was taking drugs. And so he searched Jason’s room. Batman does it frequently enough, so why can’t Bruce?

But this is Jason’s room. And Bruce promised.

A horrifying thought occurs to Jason. When Batman and Robin search a room and don’t find anything, they often install bugs to monitor for criminal activity. Are there cameras in Jason’s bedroom now?

And then he’s puking again, and he can’t hold back the tears anymore. It isn’t fair. Jason just wanted to go to a college class. Was that really too much to ask? He never expected Bruce to let him go to college for real, he just—he was enjoying it. He loved it. In fact, he was planning to show up for GothamU’s Spanish Literature class over the summer.

And now, because Jason let himself have this one thing, Bruce thinks he’s doing drugs, he’s benched (probably fired, just like Dick), and there could be cameras in his room.

When he’s done throwing up, Jason curls up under the sink, buries his face in his knees, and sobs until his body has run out of tears.

***

Bruce isn’t at dinner. That’s good. Jason doesn’t think he could look the man in the eyes without crying.

Alfred serves Jason with a vaguely apologetic expression, and Jason thinks, Do you know what Bruce did? Is that what you’re apologizing for? But it’s probably just that Bruce didn’t bother to show up, and Jason is alone.

Good. Alone is safe.

Jason spends the next hour carefully unscrewing and checking every single one of his light fixtures. He finds nothing, but Bruce knows that Jason knows how to find bugs. He wouldn’t put them in the most obvious place.

By dawn, Jason has checked every single inch of his walls with a magnifying glass, removed every single screw from his furniture, and dismantled every single one of his pens. It’s not enough. When he lies in bed, all he can think of is how flimsy the wooden door is, how that lock can’t keep out a common thief (let alone Batman himself), how Bruce’s promise not to enter means nothing.

The next day, Jason is exhausted. He doesn’t run into Bruce that day either. At night, he lies in bed, his heart thundering away in his chest. This is an indefensible position—Bruce could sneak up on him so easily, and Jason would be lying prone, unable to fight. He rushes to the bathroom and locks that door behind him, but the tight space only makes him feel more trapped. Returning to his room, Jason paces until it’s time to go back to school.

He's pretty sure he fails his geometry test. The math is easy…until he’s gone over 48 hours without sleep, and all the obtuse angles look acute and csc might as well be cos for all he can read it.

When Jason gets home, he tries to make himself take a nap. It should be easy. He’s absolutely exhausted—he was falling asleep in class, after all. And Bruce is at work anyway. Only Alfred is in the house, and Alfred would never hurt Jason.

But lying in bed, Jason feels his skin crawl. His survival instincts, honed by two years in Crime Alley and two years fighting the worst of Gotham’s criminals, are screaming at him to run.

And so, he runs.

***

Jason ends up at the train station with no idea where to go. He packed his backpack full of the essentials—clothes, protein bars, the money from Bruce’s exorbitant “allowance.” Maybe it’s stealing—those things really belong to Bruce, and Jason’s just borrowing them, but, well…stealing from Batman is nothing new for him.

He needs to get away from Gotham, and fast. Jason knows a lot, and that’s dangerous. Even though Jason is basically proving with this stunt that he’s more trouble than he’s worth, Bruce will probably still want to hunt him down to wipe his memory. And with that wiped memory will go many of the survival skills that Jason needs. So, he needs to get into territory that’s unfamiliar to Batman.

Jason should’ve planned for this better. He knew Dick got kicked out. He knew the same thing could happen to him too. That’s how it goes.

Dick.

Jason doesn’t want to bother the older boy, but Dick did say to call if Jason ever needed him. And now, more than ever, Jason needs him.

Dick will understand what Bruce is like, right? He might not have a lot of money, but maybe he can keep Jason safe for a little while. Jason can buy his own food, and it won’t cost Dick anything to let Jason crash on his couch. Dick…Dick said they were brothers. Dick said that Jason could call.

Jason wasn’t stupid enough to bring his phone with him, so he finds a family on the train and convinces the mother to let him borrow her cellphone to call his brother. The phone rings for a long time before Dick picks up.

“Hi, who is this?”

“It’s Jason.” Jason hears his voice shake. He tells himself that’s just for show, so that the woman he borrowed the phone from will trust him.

There’s a pause on the other end. Then—“Jason Todd?”

“Yeah,” Jason says.

“Oh, cool. Sorry, it didn’t show up as you for some reason. Anyway, what’s up? You sound off—is everything okay?”

Jason takes a deep breath. “Can I stay with you for a bit?” He asks.

Another pause. “Yeah, Jason, of course. Is this a ‘sleepover at Titans Tower for the weekend’ sort of thing or a ‘drive out to Gotham to pick me up’ sort of thing? Because I totally can pick you up.”

“I’m on the train to New York,” Jason admits. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

Immediately, Jason hears movement on the other end of the call. “I’ll pick you up from the station,” Dick says. “Whatever’s going on, I’ll help, okay? I promise.”

“’kay,” Jason whispers. Bruce broke his promise. What’s to say that Dick won’t too?

They’re different people, Jason reminds himself. And Dick hates Bruce. He’d probably help me just to stick it to B.

“Thanks,” Jason says, and hands the phone back to the woman.

“You’re welcome, sweetie,” she says. “Stay safe.”

Jason nods and goes back to his seat, wiping off his sweaty palms. Fuck, he probably sweated all over the phone didn’t he? Made it all gross. And the woman had been so nice, too.

Calm down, Jason tells himself, trying to slow his rapid breathing. Dick’s going to pick you up, and it’ll be okay. He can sleep at Dick’s apartment, and then plan how to survive on his own long-term. Jason’s fourteen, yeah, but he’s a far better fighter than he was at twelve, and Robin’s crimefighting skills could easily be used for crime. He can make it, now. He can.

Jason spends the remainder of the train ride counting out breaths in his head. When the train arrives, Jason enters the train station half-expecting to see Bruce waiting, his face lined by fury. So when he instead sees Dick, just as promised, he collapses into the older boy’s arms. Burying his head in Dick’s chest, Jason finally lets himself close his eyes.

“Whatever this is,” Dick says, “we’ll work it out.” And Jason—Jason almost believes him.

***

Dick’s eyes get wider and wider and wider as Jason tells his story. When Jason finishes his outpouring of fear and anxiety, Dick collapses back into the couch and buries his face in one of his hands. Jason stands in front of him like a man awaiting judgement.

Eventually, Dick gestures to the couch. Jason sits at the very end, wedging himself in the corner and curling up against the armrest.

“You can stay here as long as you want,” Dick says, and Jason nearly melts. “But—” Jason’s body tenses again, and suddenly he feels like a live wire. “Not but to staying here. You can stay, okay?” Dick looks at Jason like he’s expecting an answer, so Jason gives a tiny nod. “But I just—Bruce would be happy to hear you were going to college lectures.”

Jason shakes his head. “But I can’t go to college.”

“Why not?”

“Because everything!” Jason shakes his head. “I’m Robin, and if I want him to keep me I can’t waste time on college when I could be a full-time vigilante! I can’t—I don’t know how you did it, but if he kicks me out too then I—I just can’t do it.”

“Jason…” Dick meets his eyes. “Bruce didn’t kick me out.”

Jason crosses his arms. “You don’t have to lie to me.”

“I’m not lying,” Dick says firmly. “Bruce fired me. He had no right to do that, and he would’ve tried to stop me from being a vigilante, so I left. I was seventeen—I didn’t need an adult looking after me, anyway. I went to Titans Tower, became Nightwing, and never looked back. But Bruce never told me I had to leave the Manor.”

Jason shakes his head. Maybe Bruce didn’t say it, but it was implied in the firing. No Robin, no home. If Dick hadn’t fucked off of his own accord, Bruce would’ve eventually kicked him out. But if Dick wants to believe it was his own choice—Dick, who still visits the Manor for all the holidays even after the last visit resulted in a screaming match, who smiles in response to Bruce’s grunts, who gave Dick his phone number and his Robin suit—Jason doesn’t want to ruin that for him. So, he switches tactics. “You never went to college. And you were a mathlete, so you definitely had the smarts for it.”

“Jay, I didn’t want to go. I wanted to be a full-time hero. Bruce was against it. We fought a lot about it in that last year.”

“Bruce…wanted you to go to college?” That doesn’t make sense.

“Yeah, Little Wing.” Little Wing? Jason wrinkles his nose, and Dick smiles brightly in response before continuing. “So he’ll be thrilled one of his kids is cooperating. He probably just never said anything about college because he didn’t want to start an argument.”

Maybe Bruce just hadn’t realized he could get away with not sending a kid to college. Yeah, that’s it! Bruce was worried his public image would take a hit, but when Dick didn’t go and it was fine, Bruce was relieved.

“Look, I also wanted to talk about your room.”

Jason curls in on himself, his breaths suddenly ragged and panicked. And then, Dick’s crouched in front of him, reminding him to breathe. Jason breathes.

“You with me?” Dick asks. Jason nods. “Is it okay if we talk about this?”

Well. Dick probably knows Bruce pretty well. He might be able to reassure Jason or—or warn him. “I can’t sleep at all,” Jason says quietly. “It doesn’t—it doesn’t feel safe.”

“Bruce isn’t good at privacy,” Dick says.

“He just—he promised, Dick. He promised me he would never come in, and I believed him.”

“Did you know Bruce read my diary when I was little?”

Jason’s head snaps up. “N-no.”

Dick smiles. “Yeah, well, he did. I was eight. I would only eat chips, I was swinging from the chandeliers, sneaking out to hunt down Zucco—everything a kid could do wrong. He didn’t know how to help me. And he really wanted to help me. So then, he found the diary and…read it. That’s how he knew how to make the Robin costume. He saw my drawings of it. So, he made me the Robin costume, and I was upset with him, because that was my diary, but. He did it because he wanted to help. And I forgave him, because the costume was awesome. I guess, what I’m trying to say is—I get it. Bruce can be a nightmare sometimes, and he doesn’t really get boundaries. But he means well. Always. He would never go into your room to hurt you. Never, Jason. He—”

“I know,” Jason interrupts. “I know. I just—”

Dick puts a hand on Jason’s shoulder. “Yeah. It’s hard to sleep somewhere that doesn’t feel safe.”

Jason looks down. “Batman and Robin put bugs in the rooms they search.”

Dick pauses a second too long. “Bruce wouldn’t put cameras in your room.”

“Please don’t lie to me,” Jason says, voice small.

“I—I don’t know, Jason. But when you do go back—if you do go back, we’ll use Bat tech and Titans tech to scan your room, okay?”

“Okay.” Jason closes his eyes and leans back against the couch.

“You should sleep,” Dick says. “You must be exhausted.” Jason nods. “Is there anything I can do to h—” Dick’s phone rings. He glances at it and then freezes when he sees the caller ID. “Shit.”

“It’s Bruce, isn’t it?” Dick nods. “You should pick it up.” Dick nods again, but still doesn’t move. “He’ll get suspicious if you don’t.”

Grudgingly, Dick stands up to take the phone call to another room. Jason’s heart jolts with fear. “Please stay.” He doesn’t want to be out of the loop. He doesn’t think Dick will tell Bruce that Jason’s with him, but one can never be too careful.

Dick accepts the call and raises the phone to his ear. “What?” He snaps. A pause. “Huh? Why would he be?...No, of course I haven’t—…You put trackers in his shoes. What the fuck is wrong with you, Bruce?”

Jason stands up, eyes darting around the room. If Bruce put trackers in Jason’s shoes, he could be here any second. And Nightwing is good, but there’s no way he’s Batman good.

Dick meets Jason’s eyes from across the room. “It’s going to be okay, Jason,” he promises. Jason doesn’t think he’s lying, but that doesn’t mean Dick is right. “Bruce, your son is having a panic attack in my apartment because of your control issues…You promised him, okay? And now he’s freaking out, because you went into his room when you said you wouldn’t. You see why that scares him, right? Or does that not get through your thick head?”

Dick lowers the phone, breathing heavily. “Is he here?” Jason whispers.

“I don’t think so,” Dick says. “I think—I think he’s at home still, and he called me the second he knew where you were.”

“I can go,” Jason says.

“No. My baby brother is not going to go wandering around New York City because B is being an asshole.”

Jason pulls his knees to his chest and listens.

“Well, maybe next time try asking him without accusing him! …No, I don’t give a fuck about that,” Dick rants. “And what the hell does Roy have to do with this? …Fuck you. Fuck you, Bruce. Jason is staying here and if you get within ten feet of him I’m calling the Titans.” With that, Dick hangs up and collapses onto the couch, breathing heavily.

“Dick?” Jason asks quietly. “Are you okay?”

“Starfire can shoot energy beams from her eyes, Cyborg can hack into any computer in the known universe, and Donna Troy is Wonder Girl,” Dick says. “Go to sleep. You can take my room, or the couch if you prefer. We’ll make sure you’re safe, okay?”

Jason wants to protest, but he’s too tired. So, he lets Dick tuck him in and listens to the lock click and drifts away.

***

For the first five days, it’s amazing. Dick brings Jason to Titans Tower to hang out with his cool superhero friends and lets him take out whatever books he wants on Dick’s library card. Jason spends his days reading and talking to the Titans and keeping up with his math and biology homework on Dick’s computer. It’s great.

And then, on the sixth day, Bruce calls. Dick screams at him. Bruce insists on talking to Jason. Dick says that Bruce will talk to Jason when Jason is ready to talk, and not a moment before. Bruce says that Jason has to go to school. Dick says Babs hacked the school’s computer system, and fuck you, Bruce, and then hangs up.

Jason is hit by the realization that yes, Dick would let Jason stay forever if Jason never left, but it’s just not sustainable.

“I need to go back,” he tells Dick as they eat microwave mac and cheese and microwave peas. Dick has been making an effort to cook actual food. Jason is honestly kind of concerned for Dick, given that this is an improvement on his usual fare. As in, there is a vegetable present.

“No, you don’t,” Dick says.

“I’m—I want to be Robin. And Bruce adopted me. I’m supposed to live with him.”

“Are you sure, Jason?”

Jason’s heartrate doesn’t pick up at the thought of sleeping in his room anymore, so that’s something, at least. And Dick has said that Bruce wanted him to convey his apologies for searching Jason’s room. “If I tell him I don’t actually expect to go to college, he won’t be too mad at me, right?”

Dick sighs. “He’ll be thrilled that you want to college. But—”

“No, he won’t—”

“But. If for whatever reason he decides he’s against it, you’re still going to go. You want to go to college? You’ll go to college. The Wayne Foundation gives kids who are in foster care or were adopted full rides to Gotham universities.”

“Bruce is in charge of those, though,” Jason mutters. Bruce won’t want Robin leaving to go waste his time, so he can just deny the scholarship.

“That’s—it’s an automatic process, Jason,” Dick argues. “But, even if the scholarship was denied, I’d pay for it, okay? Bruce gave me a trust fund, and it has enough to pay for that.”

Jason stands up, sliding his chair back with a screech. “No way! I’m not taking your money!”

“It’s not my money, it’s Bruce’s. Trust me—” Dick winks and, despite himself, Jason groans. “—I’m not gonna use it. I don’t need his money. But my little brother going to college? Yeah, he’s totally paying for that.”

Jason lets himself smile, just a little. College. Even when he was a stupid kid, he hadn’t thought he was going to go to college. But if he can go now, can spend his days in lectures like the one he’d been attending and actually get to raise his hand and go to recitation and write essays and get feedback…

“I promise,” Dick says.

***

Dick offers to explain Jason’s side of the story to Bruce, and Jason gratefully takes him up on that offer. The next day, Bruce comes over to Dick’s apartment.

“If you want him to leave at any time, he leaves,” Dick says. “Literally any time. If Bruce makes a bad pun and you decide you want him to go, he’ll go. Got it?” Jason nods. The door opens.

Jason listens numbly as Bruce apologizes and Dick extracts a series of promises from Bruce that should probably be reassuring.

“Jason.” That’s Bruce’s voice. Dick taps Jason lightly on the shoulder, making Jason’s world snap back into focus. “I’m truly sorry. I never meant to make you feel unsafe.” Jason nods, not really sure what to say. “How can I make it up to you?”

Jason doesn’t—Jason doesn’t know, is the thing. He can’t think of a single way to secure his room so that Batman can’t enter without turning it into a prison cell. Bruce will always be able to get in, and Jason just has to live with that. “Just…don’t do it again,” Jason mumbles.

“I won’t,” Bruce says. “I promise.”

Jason doesn’t point out that he has promised that before, but it hangs in the air, heavy and unspoken.

In the car ride back to Wayne Manor, Bruce flips the rearview mirror so that he can better see Jason. “I’m not trying to buy your forgiveness,” Bruce says. “But I was thinking that we could take a tour of Ivy University this weekend.”

That makes Jason’s widen comically. “What?”

“It’s the best university in the country for English Literature. Dick says you were going to a Literature class, so I thought you might want to see your options.”

“But—Ivy University’s not in Gotham, is it?”

“You might have to take a break from Robin,” Bruce says. “But that would be alright, Jason.”

“Really?” Jason whispers.

“Really,” Bruce says. “Dick didn’t like the idea of juggling vigilante life with college, but that was…that was his decision, even if I disagreed with his choices. You can make your own decision, and whatever you decide, I’ll do whatever I can to make it happen.”

Maybe, Jason thinks, Dick was right.

***

That Friday, Bruce tells Jason that actually, there’s a drug deal going down on Saturday evening, and maybe they can visit Ivy University another time. Jason knows that means it’s not happening, but that doesn’t matter. Not when Alfred drives Jason to English Literature every Monday and Wednesday, and Jason has his own copies of the books to annotate to his heart’s content.

***

***

The second Jason climbs in through the window, he knows that someone is in his safehouse. He draws his handgun and clicks off the safety, scanning around the room. “Come out, and this will be easier for both of us.”

The light flickers on, and Jason whirls around, only to see Nightwing leaning against the wall, a grin on his face. Jason does not lower his gun, nor does he put the safety back on. Although it’s unlikely that Nightwing would come alone to hunt Red Hood down, Jason is not on particularly good terms with the Bats at the moment. “Why are you here?” Jason asks, voice level. “The Big Bad Bat needed a spy?”

“Actually,” Dick says, still smiling, “I’m here because I made a promise.”

Jason keeps the gun pointed straight at Dick’s chest. “What promise?”

Dick blinks. “Jason Peters got his GED last week. Congratulations.”

It takes Jason a moment to register Dick’s implication, but when it finally clicks, Jason turns the safety back on and lows his handgun with a sigh. “I’ll have you know that crime lording is a lucrative career.”

“Just thought I’d offer,” Dick says, pushing himself off the wall. It’s only then that Jason realizes Dick was making himself seem smaller and more casual on purpose. “The trust fund’s still sitting there, unused. It’d really stick it to B.”

For a moment, Jason is tempted. But then he remembers the whole mess that started this. “Yeah, no, Dickhead. You’re not the type to stalk my fake identity. So, who sent you? Bruce, or Tim?”

Dick sighs. “Bruce was going to come and offer to pay for your college himself. I talked him down from that. But I was going to offer from the moment he mentioned you got your GED.”

Jason wipes a hand across his face. “Last time I saw him, I shot at him.” Jason wasn’t kidding about being on bad terms with the Bats.

Dick shrugs. “It’s your love language. Just like Bruce’s is egregious violations of privacy.” He grins.

Jason remembers being fourteen and terrified of going to sleep in his own room. “It’s not funny.”

Dick sobers up quick. “Yeah. It’s not.”

Jason decides to throw him a bone. “I’m enrolling at GothamU this fall. Given the crime lord-ing, I need to be taking afternoon classes only. Wanna hack the scheduling system with me?”

***

Jason steps into the lecture hall, wiping his palms against his sweatpants as he surveys the room. There are screens set up in front, each with a dark blackboard-like background. And then, in the seats, there’s a sea of students, eighteen and nineteen and early twenties, and some younger and some older. Senior citizens and high schoolers on dual enrollment, all mixed into the rows of seats with tiny folding desks. Jason, at nineteen, can almost fool himself into thinking he belongs here.

Jason sits right up at the front and removes a new notebook from his bright red backpack.

[six-tooth]

anyway feeling very normal about this scene

the fact that after a long, unpleasant day of absolutely nothing going his way and constantly being reminded of how much everyone else dislikes him, he's too tired to keep his act up and seeks out a genuine conversation with the one person whom he hasn't interacted with through the entire adventure

Pomni about to answer sincerely before realizing it's Jax and changing her approach, either out of caution or uncertainty by him being so... casual

she braces for one of his usual remarks/jokes but is surprised when he answers with neither, simply letting her know how he's doing as well

finally, when he's called over for another task, he's still visibly annoyed but follows through without much protest and waves goodbye to Pomni, who is undoubtedly confused by what she just saw.

there have been a couple of instances where the series shows us that Jax is being affected by the circus more than he lets on, and they were really focused on during this episode.

this got me thinking about what Goose really meant by him "getting worse"; most people (myself included) interpreted it as his actions gradually escalating to a point where it could result in conflict with the rest of the cast, but after this scene and near the end where he leaves and gets in his car, it could be understood as his repressed emotions finally catching up to him and turning his mental well-being for the worst. It could also be a mix of the two

now this is the part where I put my delusional cap on, but there has been a significant build up to Jax and Pomni's relationship through the whole series, the most notorious one being:

his hand missing from Pomni's moment of realization that the other people she's been trapped with are trustworthy and care for her. You obviously can't blame her for coming to this conclusion, but I think that's exactly what made this small interaction a lot more important

Jax has been pushing others away and masking his emotions for who knows how long, and one of the primary focus and messages of TADC is connections with others and how important they are, so for them to show us Pomni seeing Jax have a brief moment of vulnerability, I do believe it's reasonable to think that they will eventually develop a relationship with some amount of significance, maybe even something close to a friendship

but yeah, feeling very normal

[unequivocallyreid]

Why Didn’t You Tell Me?

it has been SO long... i was suffering from serious writers block but it think i'm finally out of it :)

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader

summary: Spencer Reid used to be your best friend, but things changed. How long can you pretend that you don't love him before it ruins you?

warnings: angst! (with a happy ending), smut (unprotected piv), character loss, mention of Maeve, very sad Spencer, mental health struggles, drinking/bar scene, light choking, fighting, slight praise kink

wc: 8.8k 🤗

i’m very proud of this one! i hope you love it!

Every morning when you wake up, you feel a familiar and creeping sort of dread in the pit of your stomach.

Don’t get the wrong idea; you love your job. You love helping people and stopping horrible people from ruining any more lives, but the creeping feeling and desire to get out is always in the corner of your mind. Anyone working in this field would tell you that. There’s no absolute separation between you and the victims and their families. You take all of them home with you, and you just have to learn how to deal with that and not let it eat at you.

It doesn’t help that it’s an isolating job as well. The last time you were in a serious relationship was in college. Now, every date you have ends in disappointment. Not only do you lack interest in most of the men and women, but it couldn’t go anywhere even if you did. 75% of your time is spent in the office, on a jet, or hundreds of miles away from your home.

All of this contributes to the feeling, but the worst part of your job is Dr. Spencer Reid.

He’s secretive and dismissive and just about the most attractive person you’d ever seen. You honestly don’t know what is worse: his constant physical presence in your life or the fact that you can’t stop thinking about him no matter what you do. You’ve tried to get over it; you’ve buried yourself in work, lamented to your friends, and gone out on dates (all with guys that looked vaguely similar), but nothing has worked. All his worst traits grate your nerves and light you up at the same time.

The worst part of it all is that it wasn’t always like this. When you first joined the BAU nearly two years ago, you and Spencer got along well. You were friends, he talked to you about his life, he understood you, and you really severely fell for him. He became your best friend.

Everything changed around six months ago. Spencer started to develop migraines, and as those developed, he started distancing himself from you. He became snippy and closed off, he started hiding things from you, and he stopped talking to you about life outside of Quantico. It was like overnight, you became nothing to him, and you really didn’t understand. Everyone else on the team got the same old Spencer, but you went from his right-hand man to someone he only spoke to when it was necessary.

Maybe he didn’t deserve to be vilified. You know, realistically, he can and should be able to decide who he wants to be close to, but working with a man who unknowingly broke your heart was close to the hardest thing you’d ever done. So, you decided hating him was easier. The real emotions you feel toward him sit somewhere inside you, but they have been covered by manufactured distaste. Addressing the actual feeling would hurt too bad, so you pretend to hate the things you used to love.

Nothing, however, could have prepared you for the last case you worked on: helping Spencer save a girl he met about six months ago, a girl he loved. You tried to stay collected, you said nothing when Spencer assisted when he shouldn’t have, and goddamn, did you do everything in your power to find that girl. Maeve. She was perfect for Spencer, and you saw that immediately. Everyone did. The sight of him sobbing in front of her body is one that will never leave your mind.

Now, two weeks later, no one has heard from Reid. The only indication that he hasn’t abandoned his life altogether is the absence of the gift baskets on his doorstep that Pen leaves daily.

Nearly everyone has been to his apartment, but they are met with a closed door and have yet to receive a response. Everyone but you.

Penelope is the first to bring up your lack of appearance at the end of a long day of paperwork.

“Y/n, please, you just have to try. No one is getting anything from him.”

“I really don’t think my presence would do any good,” you pause for a moment, trying to collect the thoughts running through your head like a freight train. “Me and him haven’t been close in a long time, Pen.”

Before you can continue, she cuts in, “Everyone has tried, Y/n. Hell, I’ve even considered tracking down Gideon, and I really, really do not want to do that.”

She pauses for a moment before looking up at you with a pout on her face, “Please, Y/n, for me. I can’t bear the thought of him in there all alone, just wasting away in grief.”

For someone who claims not to be a profiler, Penelope knew exactly what to say to get you to agree. She’s the only person in your life who you told about how you felt, though you’re sure everyone else (aside from Spencer) knew: you’re shit at keeping secrets.

“Okay, okay, I’ll try.”

She nearly bursts with excitement, “Thank God-“

You cut her off before she can finish, “But I’m telling you, I’m not the person he wants to hear from right now. Don’t get your hopes up.”

“Yes, yes. I just want him to know we all want him to be okay.”

Before you can hurry out of the office to follow Pen’s instructions, she stops you and hands you a basket full of assorted snacks and fruits.

“Make sure he eats!”

The walk up to Spencer’s apartment is a hard one to take. The smell of his building hits you as soon as you step into the lobby. From there, everything rushes back at once. Memories of nights you spent watching reruns of Doctor Who or listening to him prattle off about whatever he last read assault you with every step. As you slowly make your way up, you start to question why you agreed to do this in the first place.

You feel a lot toward Reid. More than you should and less than you could. But all that care and feelings that are so close to love aren’t enough to make you forget why you’ve been trying to hate him for so long. He deserted you without an explanation and cut you off without a warning. You spent weeks (three months) crying over him like a love-struck teen. So, as much as you want to hold him and comfort him, you know it’ll hurt you to do so. Penelope sent you, with the whole team’s approval, you’re sure, to try to patch up a broken heart he got loving someone else. There’s a sickness in your gut, but it’s not enough to stop you from rapping your knuckles against his door.

“Spencer? It’s Y/n.”

There’s no response.

“I know you probably don’t want to hear from me right now, but I want to make sure you’re alright. Can you tell me you’re alright?”

Again, nothing.

You know he’s there. Despite your lack of communication, you know Spencer well enough to know that he would never leave his life behind entirely. That being said, your next few attempts at garnering a response are unsuccessful.

You decide to try one final time before just leaving the basket alone on his doorstep and texting Pen it was a bust.

“There’s a lot I don’t know about you now, and I won’t pretend to know what you’re feeling.”

You don’t exactly know where this is headed, but you continue on regardless.

“I know you’re in there, and I know you can hear me, and I know you’re hurting. You shouldn’t- I don’t want you to be alone right now, Spence. You can either unlock your door, or I can pick it, but I’m coming in one way or the other. You know I will.”

You wouldn’t, actually. It’s a last-ditch effort, and it’s met with the same silence you’ve heard on the other side for the past ten minutes. You’re about to turn to head back down the stairs when you hear the very faint sound of a deadbolt turning.

There’s no other sound or movement, and for a moment, you think you might’ve imagined the sound, but you try the handle anyway. It turns, and the door slides open. You take a step in.

“Spencer,” you call out to him.

You don’t see him at first in the mess of his apartment, but when you do, you feel a crack form in your heart.

Beyond the clutter of his entryway, you see his back on the couch. His frame looks smaller than you’ve ever seen it, and you can see his legs curled into his chest. You set down the gift basket by a collection of others on the entry table and walk over to him. Slowly, like you’re trying not to spook a lost dog, you creep in front of him.

His head is down, and his gaze stays trained on his knees.

You reach out your hand and lay it over his. He flinches but doesn’t pull away.

“Spence, I’m so glad you opened the door.”

You didn’t plan out what you would say, but ‘sorry’ feels redundant and useless.

You go on, “I’m here. I- I don’t know what to do or say, and I’m sorry that I don’t. I can get someone else for you. Just tell me what you need, and I’ll do it.”

You wait for him to say he wants Penelope or JJ, but it doesn’t come. Nothing comes. You start to move to get up, figuring you could clean up a bit and try to make him something to eat, then go, but he grasps your arm before you can.

He looks up at you, and his eyes hit you right in the gut. They’re bloodshot and sunken but still beautiful.

“Stay. Please. I just- I need to know I’m not dreaming. I keep thinking I’m dreaming.”

His voice is croaky from disuse and breaks at the end, but it’s so heartbreakingly earnest that you feel your breath catch. You move from your crouch and sit beside him on the couch; your hand is still in his.

You stay like that for a long time. His breathing is shakey and uneven, and every so often, his body shakes with what you can only assume are sobs. You stay pressed to his side the whole time, thumb rubbing back and forth over his hand.

Eventually, you speak again, “I’m gonna get you some food, Spence. You should eat.”

He says nothing back, but he does loosen his grip. You push yourself up from the coach with a promise you’ll be as fast as possible.

His kitchen is nearly empty, and you hope he’s been eating from the baskets. Still, you find enough to make noodles and butter, and you figure the carbs should help his energy some.

You return with the bowl. Spencer hasn’t moved, but his head follows you as you walk back over to him.

“It’s not fine dining.”

He studied you for a second, and you catch a glimpse of the old him in his eye.

“You did the same thing when I was sick on a case a year ago.”

You smile at his recollection.

“It helped you then.”

The rest of the night is spent mostly in silence. Occasionally, you tell him something to try to remind him that you’re there and that you won’t leave as long as he wants you there. Eventually, you get up from the couch again.

“Spencer, it’s too late to still be awake.”

He nods and still says nothing, but he is far more receptive than before. You reach your hand out to him to help him up from the couch, and he takes it.

He leads you to his room at a slow pace. His head stays down as you both take a seat on his bed, hands still interlocked. Being in his bedroom is odd for you. You’ve been to his apartment quite a few times before he disappeared from your life, but you never breached this space. It’s all very him. Almost surprisingly cozy, with books scattered around nearly everywhere there’s space.

You take in the moment for a beat before saying, “I’m gonna head home, Spencer, but please call me if you need anything at all. I’ll come back tomorrow.”

This makes his head snap up, and his eyes lock with yours.

“Please stay.”

That’s all he says, but every part of him is pleading with you. It’s not a good idea, and you know it. You’re the only person he’s seen in days, you aren’t close anymore, and you don’t particularly want to sleep on a couch tonight.

“Spencer, I don’t want to sleep in your living room tonight. I’ll come back.”

He pauses for a moment, “You can stay here with me. I don’t want to be alone.”

Your heart cracks again. There was a time when this was all you wanted. It’s still, deep down, all you want, just not like this. You know he doesn’t really want you there and he’s not himself. But you aren’t strong enough to say no, so you don’t.

He gets you clothes to wear, and you change in his bathroom. You come out and find him in his bed, laying with his back to you. You have no fucking idea what you’re doing, but you get into bed next to him anyways. There are a thousand thoughts racing through your head, but the prevailing one is how badly you want to touch him, to hold him, to make him forget, just for the night. You stay still, though, confined to the edge of the bed and start to count to drown out the noise.

Though, you can’t drown out his voice, saying, “Can- Could you hold me? I think that everything feels better when you touch me.”

Another crack. By the end of this, you know Spencer Reid is going to break your heart all over again.

~

When you wake up the next morning, Spencer is still asleep. You sneak out of his room and call Hotch. When he answers, you tell him Spencer has let you in, and you ask for time off to try to help. You can tell from his voice that he doesn’t think it’s a good idea, but he grants you it anyway.

Much of your day is spent like the night before. You stay next to Spencer, and you cook for him after leaving to pick up clothes and groceries. Then, you get him to shower and wash his hair. He sleeps with his head in your lap, and you feel like a fucking idiot at first, but as long as it’s helping him in some way, you let it happen.

That’s the thing: you don’t really know how to help him. You know he isn’t the type to talk about something until he is entirely ready, so all you can do is add something domestic and bright to his life while he grieves. It’s all you can think about in the moments of silence. Hell, you even read to him to try and get your mind off of it, but it barely helps.

The night is the same. You change in different rooms and slip into his bed at different times. You feel dirty for imagining what it would be like if the circumstances were different: if he wanted you like you have wanted him for the past two years. You hold him against you, and you pray for sign that you should be there.

The sign comes the following morning when Derek calls you.

“Y/n…”

You can hear his teasing tone over the phone.

“Hi, Derek.”

“What are you doing, mamas?”

You sigh, “What do you mean?”

You’re playing coy. You know he’s wondering why you’re at Spencer’s house, picking up the pieces, but you won’t be the one to bring it up.

“Why’d you ask Hotch for the week off, Y/n?”

Another sigh, “You know why, Derek. I just, I want to help him.”

“I know you do, Y/n, I know.”

He pauses for a moment, and you let the moment fill with silence.

“I know you care about him. We all care about him. But who is taking care of you?”

“I am. I can take care of him, and I can take care of me.”

“I know you can, but I don’t want you to get hurt, Y/n. Don’t let this be something that hurts you.”

“It won’t. I- You have to- Fuck, I’ll be fine. He’s not fine. I don’t care about me or any feelings that may get hurt right now. I’ll be fine.”

There’s another bear of silence, “Okay, Y/n. Just know you’re allowed to tap out.”

You try to think of anything else to say, but nothing comes, so you say your goodbyes.

You won’t need to tap out. You can take care of him and be good to him and ignore the other feelings you have. You can be good.

The call does make you think it’s time to push, to try harder, to help him get better. So, you approach him that day before bed, before he tucks himself into your arms and falls into a fretful sleep.

“Spencer?”

He takes a moment and then responds, “Yes?”

“You have to talk about it. I think that you need to talk about it. It doesn’t have to be to me but to someone.”

He’s quiet for a long time, and your breath is caught in your throat, waiting for him to say anything.

“I- I don’t want to,” his voice cracks while he says it.

“Spence, you can’t come back if you don’t. You can’t move forward if you don’t.”

“Maybe I don’t want to.”

A ringing echos in your ears.

“You don’t mean that. She- she would want you to keep going.”

Wrong thing to say.

“You don’t know anything about what she would want.”

He’s seething now, below the surface, but smoke has started to plume from his ears. Still, you don’t stop.

“Spencer, everyone knows that. No one would want you to put your life on hold.”

He speaks his next line through his teeth, “You don’t know anything, Y/n.”

You’ve never heard him sound so angry.

“Spencer-“

“No, just stop. You don’t know her. You don’t know me half as well as you think you do. You don’t know anything. I don’t even know why you’re here. I don’t want you here. You can't be what I need.”

The ringing in your ears is louder.

“Spencer, please. Just-“

“No!” His voice is raised now, bordering on a yell, “I don’t want you here. I want you out, Y/n.”

This has to be what shell shock feels like. The ringing, the tingle in your limbs, and the heat in your face. You don’t know how you are moving, but you are.

His voice is echoing in your head, or maybe he’s still talking, but you can’t tell either way. The only thing you can focus on is how Spencer sounded like he hates you and that Morgan was right about the hurt.

~

You spend the next day trying desperately to shut down the noise in your head. It doesn’t work. The day after is the same. And the days following that. You ignore calls when they come, you ignore the texts, but you can’t stop looking at your phone for a message from the man who fills your thoughts.

Spencer doesn’t call, obviously, and you have to sit with a pit in your stomach while you beg yourself to just get the fuck over it. Two years of reckoning with the severity of your love, months of watching him live happily without you, and it’s the three days you spent trying to help him feel incrementally better that floor you.

You feel like a dumb teenage girl with so much love and nothing to do with it. On top of everything, you feel selfish. Spencer lost the love of his life forever, and you’re nursing the worst heartbreak of your life because a boy will never want you and never has. Still, you send out prayers for him over and over. You hope you’ll see him in the BAU again, even if his eyes glaze over you. Hell, even if they look at you with hate the way they did two days ago. You just want him to function. You want him to be good and eventually be happy. You try to go to bed with soothing thoughts, but you end up with a mantra of his name.

You wake to your alarm and dress for work before you realize you aren’t actually supposed to go back yet. You never set a date to return. You wanted to be open as long as Spencer needed you. You’re supposed to be with him. You’re supposed to be helping and not tapping out. But you aren’t.

You have no reason not to return to the bullpen, so you do. You walk in and feel eyes on you. You wait for Morgan to call out to you, but he doesn’t, so you follow the feeling.

Your breath catches in your throat; it’s Spencer. He’s sitting at his desk, paperwork spread out, and he doesn’t look away from your gaze; he just holds it. His face is unreadable, and yours is definitely not, so you look away first. You don’t look up again until you reach Hotch’s office. You knock and hear him call out to come in.

“I’m back if that’s okay.”

He looks up at you, and you want to cry. You know he can read you. He has always been the best at it.

“Are you okay with that, Y/l/n?”

You lock eyes with him, “Yes, sir.”

It’s no use; he knows your tells and you aren’t being honest.

“Alright, conference room in five.”

Whatever he sees in your face, he ignores and takes you at your word, but there’s a warning in his tone. He knows when to let things go and when to push. More than that, though, he knows you’d never let something like this affect your work.

~

The first case back is in Maryland, and the one after is in Austin, and the next is in Philadelphia with The Replicator. The job takes you all over the country, and the cases blend together. You don’t speak to Spencer through all of it. You’re never partnered, never work together, you sit on opposite ends of the jet. You don’t even speak at Strauss’ funeral. It’s radio silent, and everyone notices it, but no one brings it up.

In that time, you allow yourself to slip away slightly. You don’t go out with the team, you see Pen at nearly half frequency, and basically, the only time you speak is on cases. It’s stupid and melodramatic, but you call it healing. Derek tries to reason with you, JJ sticks to you a bit more than usual, and Penelope calls you virtually whenever she can, but their efforts are mostly in vain. This is your way of protecting yourself. You feel like you have to isolate in order to improve, and you know, given time, you will come back to yourself.

Penelope’s insistence that you go to her Day of the Dead celebration breaks your distance.

“Y/n, please come. I know you aren’t going out, but you have to. I know you have people to honor, and I need you there.”

You sigh, “Whose going, Pen?”

“The team, which you are a part of, so you must be there.”

“I don’t think I can do that. I promise you I will celebrate with you. I’ll help you set up, just please don’t make me go.”

Penelope pauses, but the glint in her eye keys you into the fact that she is not interested in giving up.

“We miss you, Y/n. Everyone loves you and misses you. You’ve been living this stupid, isolated life, and it’s time for you to come back. You are not this person. I refuse to believe it. You’re coming, and that’s final.”

Maybe you don’t have the energy to argue, or maybe you know she’s right, but you agree to go.

~

The thought of seeing him makes your heart race, and the clock you keep glancing at makes it worse. Just a few more hours before you're trapped in a confined space (Pen’s beautiful home) with a man you haven’t spoken to in weeks.

You busy yourself with preparing. Lights are hung, food is made, and you make a trip to the store while Pen sets up her remembrance table. When everything is said and done, you can’t help but feel this is the most beautiful thing you’ve been a part of in a long time.

The first knock comes at 7:30 exactly, and it’s Hotch and Rossi. They are followed closely by Blake, then Derek and JJ. By 7:00, the atmosphere is light and loving, and you feel a bit of your anxiety let up as the minutes go by without Reid. But, eventually, the knock comes, of course it does, and you move into a corner as Spencer walks in. You feel a shift in energy, though you doubt it’s palpable for anyone else. Rossi is the first to make his way over to you, and his presence comforts you nearly immediately.

“How you doing, kid?” His voice is soft like he’s speaking to a scared rabbit.

“I’m better,” you say, and it’s about as honest as you can get. As much as you’d like to think he knows nothing about what’s gone on, you’re smarter than that. He’s the best profiler on the team, and he’s always known when someone was off with you. Even so, you are better than you were, even if you aren’t quite good, and you know he believes you.

There’s some idle conversation between you before he asks, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not tonight. I don’t know when, but I will. Eventually, I will.”

It’s good enough for him, and you move on easily, which surprises you.

Right before Pen gathers you all to present your photos, he says, “Sometimes we think we’ve seen the whole picture, but we miss a big part. People do things because they don’t want to be hurt, but those things hurt them more. Just, be open.”

You don’t quite understand what he means, but you hope you will.

Penelope presents the first picture, which shows her parents. JJ honors her sister, Derek, his dad, Hotch Haley, and Rossi, Hernandez; then it’s your turn. You place down a photo of your best friend. You hadn’t talked much about her, but you think of her daily. She passed a few years before you joined the BAU.

“I was lucky to have someone that hurt that much to lose.”

That’s all you say, but it’s enough for you, and it would be enough for her.

Spencer is last. He places down a picture of Tesla and a picture of Maeve. Your heart is heavy for everyone.

The night dwindles from there. Hotch and Rossi say their goodbyes, and Rossi gives you a knowing look as he leaves. You just smile. You stay for a few minutes after, but eventually, you move to leave as well.

You make it down Garcia’s porch before you feel a hand grab your arm. You turn, and it’s Spencer’s face you see.

“Would you- Do you think you could come over? Do you think we could talk?”

~

The feeling you have walking up to Spencer's apartment is similar to what you felt the last time. You’re incredibly anxious, but at least you know you’ll be let in this time.

The drive over was silent. Spencer had taken the metro to Penelope’s, so he rode with you. It wasn’t necessarily awkward. There was just an understanding that the car wasn’t the place to begin your conversation.

Now, as Spencer unlocked his door, it’s one of those rare moments you felt starved for words, and you know it’s because you’re scared you’ll say the wrong thing and face the same reaction that you did the last time you were in his home.

He leads you to his living room and motions for you to sit, and you do. The two of you are on opposite ends of his couch while you wait for him to say something.

His first words are airy and light, “Thank you for letting me talk to you.”

You look at him but remain silent, waiting for him to go on. All you can think about is why he wants to speak to you at all. The last time you spoke, he made it incredibly clear he did not want you in his life or around him at all.

Before you can think about it more and let your anger and sadness build, he speaks again, “I feel really stupid right now. I kind of feel stupid whenever I’m around you recently.”

He pauses momentarily before going on, “I’m so, so sorry, Y/n. About the last time we spoke. I’ve been thinking about it pretty constantly for the past few weeks.”

You open your mouth, unsure of what exactly to say, but you can’t get there before he’s off again.

“I’m not sure how to talk to you anymore. I don’t think I’ve known how to for a long time. I just, I need you to know how sorry I am for speaking to you like that.”

He takes a shakey breath but keeps going, “That wasn’t me, and that isn’t how I feel. I’m just unbelievably sorry, Y/n.”

He stops there, and you work to collect your thoughts.

“I know. A part of me knows, at least, that you didn’t mean it. I just wanted to be there for you, and hearing that made me- I just- I think it made me hate myself for wanting to be there.”

“I’m so sorry. I’m unbelievably sorry.”

“You didn’t talk to me for months, Spencer. I just don’t understand. I don’t understand why you let me in in the first place. I thought you hated me.”

He’s silent for a long minute.

“I never hated you, Y/n. I just stopped knowing how to act around you, and then I met Maeve. I fell so deep into it that I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. I- And I just started to feel like you didn’t want me to speak to you, so I didn’t. But, when you came here, after everything, I guess I just felt like you were the only person who would get it. You never, no one on the team ever treated me or talked to me how you did. I just wanted that.”

Tears had begun to well in your eyes now. A part of you gets what he means, at least about letting you in, but the other part is so confused as to why he stopped being comfortable around you.

“I don’t understand, Spencer. Why did you stop knowing how to be around me?”

There’s desperation in your voice that makes you sound like a stranger to yourself. Maybe you’re a stranger to everyone right now.

“I uh, I don’t really know.”

“That's not fair, Spence.”

You’re crying now. Just a little bit, but you can feel the wetness on your cheeks. You can see that you are by the look on his face. He looks broken, and you know it's a reflection of your own image.

You wipe your face, “Thank you for apologizing, Spencer. I just, there are parts of this all that I don’t understand, and if you can't explain them to me, I don’t think I ever will.”

“Y/n-,” he calls out your name like a prayer.

“It’s okay, Spence. You don’t have to say anything more. We talked, and things will go back to how they were eventually.”

“I’m so sorry, Y/n.”

You smile sadly as you get up to leave.

“I am, too, for what it's worth. For whatever I did to make things change in the first place.”

You leave it at that, and it takes everything in you not to look back as you leave his apartment.

~

Things do get easier after that. Not completely. You still love him, and it hurts, but it helps to know he doesn’t hate you. He talks to you some, cordial things, and you do the same. You're sure your teammates still sense something is off, but this works for you. Right now, it works. Getting over him, not loving him anymore, is going to take work, but eventually, you know that you won’t hurt anymore.

Shortly after you and him talked, you started going back out with your friends. Spencer joined periodically, but that was normal. Bars were never really his scene.

Tonight, everyone gathers at your local pub. Your last case was particularly grueling, and you all need a way to blow off some steam. It's fun, and you feel good, even with Spencer sitting across from you. You feel proud of yourself for getting to this point.

JJ and Penelope feed you drinks to try and get you to dance, and you let them. Tonight feels as good of a night as any to ‘get back out there’ as Pen says. So, you do. You dance with them, and you ward off the other cops and agents around you who try to pull you away from your group. You aren’t interested in that. Right now, you're just having an appropriate amount of fun for a woman 15 feet from her boss.

Time goes by quickly, and by the time you get back to the table, you, Derek, Penelope, and JJ remain. He tells you that Hotch, Rossi, Reid, and Alex left a few minutes before. The conversation between you flows for a while, up until the drinks loosen Penelope up enough to bring up what you were pretty sure the team designated a no-no topic.

“Y/n, you have to talk about it.”

You’re still laughing as something Derek said when you reply, “What?”

“You know what. You and Boy-Genius. What on Earth happened? You went from ice-cold to semi-friendly. None of us saw it coming.”

“Babygirl-,” Derek tries to stop her, but you cut him off.

“No, it’s okay. I have to talk about it at some point, and I think right now is the only time I’ll be tipsy enough to let you get it out of me.”

You're still laughing slightly, but the pit that's lived in your stomach for the past few months starts to rear its head.

“After your Day of the Dead party, he asked to talk to me. I went to his place, and he apologized. I don’t really understand what he said or what he meant, but I can’t be sad about him forever.”

Pen perks up a bit at that, “I knew that party would bring good things!”

You giggle a bit at her outburst, but then JJ asks, “What did he say?”

The faces around you all tune in at that. You know they don’t see this as gossip. They care about you both too much to trivialize it like that.

“He just said that he stopped knowing how to act around me, and he didn’t know why, but then he met Maeve, and I guess it didn’t matter so much after that. He was my best friend, and then he was nothing.”

JJ shares a glance with Derek and then speaks, “Oh, Y/n.”

“What?”

After a beat, Derek says, “He didn’t just not know how to act around you.”

Now you're confused, “What do you mean? I talked to him, that's what he said. He didn’t know why. I mean, he knows everything and didn’t know why he didn’t want to be around me anymore. How fucking stupid is that.”

You laugh again, but it does come off as genuine in the slightest.

“Y/n, he probably doesn’t really know why. At least not fully. For someone as smart as he is, the kid can be really stupid.”

“Stop being cryptic.”

Derek sighs but goes on, “Pretty girl, pretty boy was in love with you. Probably still is. He just didn’t think you’d ever feel the same.”

“No. That's not true.”

You look at the others around you, but their faces are serious.

“He loved Maeve. He loves Maeve. That, that doesn’t make any sense.”

It's JJ’s turn to talk now.

“He definitely did love Maeve, no one is denying that, but we all saw how he was around you. His whole relationship with her was safe. He couldn’t be hurt by her rejection every day because he had no way of seeing her. With you, he could.”

Your mind is moving a mile a minute, “Did he tell you guys this?”

Penelope puts her hand over yours and says, “He didn’t have to, love. We all say the way he looked at you and acted around you. The way he talked about you. That boy was head over heels.”

“Guys, I appreciate whatever you’re trying to do, but this isn’t real. Spencer doesn’t- this is not real.”

“Y/n, pause. Think about the way he acted around you, the things he said. Think about how Reid is.”

You hear what Derek said, but it all sounds faint like someone stuffed your ears with cotton while you weren't paying attention. All you can focus on are the different scenes running through your head, the scenes of your life with Spencer in it. How he memorized your coffee order and brought it for you every day, how he never shied away from your touch despite his aversion to contact, how he consistently went out of his way to protect you on the field. At his house after everything, the way he clung to you and wanted to be held. How he said in his own words, “You can't be what I need”; not “you aren’t,” but “you can’t.”

Your whole world is crashing down in this bar, and you can’t do anything to stop it.

“Y/n?”

JJ’s voice snaps you out of your spiral.

“Just go talk to him.”

You nod mutely, and you get up.

~

Everything in the last ten months of your life has led you to the exact spot you were when everything blew up in the first place: Spencer’s door.

This time, you aren't too worried about him not letting you in. If anything, it's the opposite. Him opening this door could open a hundred others, and you don’t quite know if you are ready for any of them. You sit there and sit there and sit there, trying to work up the courage to knock, though you aren’t sure it's there to begin with. Right as you're about to walk away and decide you’ll come back another day, his door swings open.

“Y/n?”

His face is lit up with shock, and you notice his hand that is not on the door is holding his pistol.

“What are you doing here?”

You don’t answer, “Why did you open the door?”

He sets his piece down on the entry table before responding, “I heard footsteps in the hall and saw they stopped here. I was anxious. 50.3% of home invasions happen between 8:00 pm and 7:00 am.” He cuts himself off there, “Y/n, why are you here?”

You didn’t pay attention to anything he said. All you could think about was the way his lips were moving and the way his eyes locked onto yours as he talked.

“Do you love me?”

That is not what you wanted to say.

His lips fall open as he takes in a sharp breath, “What?”

“Or I guess did you love me? Before everything? Because Derek and JJ and Pen, they all said that you loved me, and now I can’t think about anything else, Spencer.”

He doesn’t speak, but you don't really give him a chance to.

“I just, I know I sound crazy right now, but I feel fucking crazy. I keep going over everything in my head, and I have been, for the past year I have been, but now it’s all different. It's all different because they said that you loved me, but you didn’t think I’d feel the same way.”

Here, you do pause, but he still doesn’t say anything, so you go on before you can stop yourself.

“Because if that's true, Spencer, it's just- I did. I do. And if it's not, then please just tell me so I can stop feeling this way.”

He sounds resigned when he says, “Y/n,” and you feel like you know what that means.

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I'm doing this. You don’t have to say anything. Actually, please don’t say anything. I don't think I can hear it. Just pretend I never-”

He cuts off your ramble, “Y/n, stop.”

You draw your eyes from the floor, look up at him, and find something in his gaze you have never seen before. He doesn’t say anything, just stares at you, and it takes everything you have not to look away. His hand raises to cup your jaw, and your skin lights on fire. Before you can process what he’s doing, you feel his lips press against yours, and something clicks. At first, his touch is light, like he’s giving you the chance to pull away. But, when he grasps that you won’t, he presses himself to you harder, and all you can think about is how nothing has ever felt so right.

His lips move against yours, and you don’t know how you're managing to reciprocate because it feels like everything in your body has gone fuzzy. The kiss is by no means long, but it feels like it lasts forever, and by the time he pulls away, you’re breathless.

His forehead stays connected to yours, and he whispers, “I do, Y/n, love you. I have.”

You don’t feel the tears on your cheeks until he’s wiping them away.

“Oh, Y/n.”

“Did you know? That you did? Is that why…”

You trail off, hoping he’ll pick up on what you're asking, and he does.

“I didn’t at first, or I didn’t realize I was falling in love with you until it happened. I got scared, so I ran. I just never thought that you could feel the same or that I was hurting you. I didn’t realize that. I just thought I was doing what was best for us. I felt guilty for being in love with my best friend.”

“And Maeve?”

“I loved Maeve. I’ll always have love for her. I was trying to move on, and I thought I could eventually be with her and be around you without it hurting. I wish I would have told you this before.”

“You’re telling me now. That's enough.”

This time, it's you who pushes your lips to meet his. Your arms snake around his neck, and his fall to your waist. You follow when he pulls you into his apartment and closes the door. There is still pain on both sides, but you can feel it dissipating as you cling to each other. You’re just two broken people who have finally found a way to each other.

This kiss is different, hungrier. Neither of you pulls away for longer than a few seconds as you navigate your way from his entryway to his couch. Every touch is desperate like you're searching for something you never knew existed until now. His hands pull you closer and closer until he's pulling you on top of him, and each of your legs rests on opposite sides of his hips.

Your lips break from his for a moment, “What do you want, Spence?”

His reply is instant, “You.”

From there, things move faster. Your hands unbutton his shirt and push it from his shoulders while he undoes your pants. There are moments of awkwardness that come with exploring another for the first time, but it feels good. His hands trace over your hips and push further until you're left on top of him in only your underwear and bra. He takes you in like you are something to be marveled at, and you know your eyes reflect the same adoration.

You raise yourself off of him and work to get him in the same state of undress as you, and when you position yourself on top of him, you feel his length press against your center. The two thin layers of fabric do little to hinder the intensity as you rock into him. He lets out quiet moans at the action as his lips trace down your neck and over your collarbone.

His breath ghosts over you and makes you shiver when he asks, “Can I touch you?”

“Please.”

His hand moves between the two of you, and his fingers find your clit easily, rubbing circles over the fabric of your panties. You pant his name against his lips at the action. You feel like your whole body is lit up, and under any other circumstance, you'd feel embarrassed at how worked up you are, but you can’t seem to care.

After a few moments, he lifts you up and carries you to his bedroom. From there, he positions you below him on the bed, removing your remaining clothes in the same motion. The new setup lets you grip him, and he feels big in your hand. His fingers resume their previous assault before dipping down into you. You cry out at the feeling of him inside you, slowly pushing in and out, finding a spot that makes your legs start to shake. He’s relentless in his pursuit and all you can muster up the energy to say is his name.

“You’re so beautiful, Y/n.”

It's somewhere between a whimper and a whisper, but the sound of his voice causes you to clench around his fingers.

He picks up on this, of course he does, and quickens his pace as he coos at you.

“So pretty like this. I’m so lucky.”

You’re embarrassingly close already, so when he moves his thumb over your clit to rub circles as he fucks into you with his fingers, you come undone almost instantly with a warning and cry of his name. He works you through your orgasm, all while whispering praise in your ear. Once you come down from your high, you start to push his boxers down his legs, but he stops you before you can fully.

“We don’t have to do anything more, Y/n. I liked just making you feel good.”

“I want more. I want to feel you if you want that too.”

“Of course I do. I just don’t want you to regret anything.”

“I couldn’t regret this, Spencer. I love you. I want all of you.”

It's the first time you’ve actually said those three words to him, and it feels so fucking good to say.

“I love you, too. God, so much.”

With that, he positions himself back on top of you, running his fingers over your slit gently before gripping himself.

“Do you have a condom?”

“I might somewhere, but I have an IUD, and I’m clean. I can try to find one if you’re more comfortable with that?”

“IUDs have a failure rate of around .05% and are largely considered the most effective form of birth control, so uh, as long as you're okay with it, I am.”

You smile to yourself at his statistic but nod, “I want to feel you, Spencer.”

He returns your smile before rubbing his length over your entrance a few times and slowly pushing himself into you just slightly. He teases you, or maybe himself, for a moment before fully entering you. You push your hips up to meet his, and feeling him in his entirety makes your jaw fall open. He’s big, and you feel unbelievably full.

He waits a moment for you to adjust before he starts to develop a rhythm. His hands are everywhere, but his eyes are focused solely on your face like he doesn’t want to miss a moment of your reaction to him inside of you. To be fair, you are probably putting on a good show. Every movement he makes hits you in exactly the right spot, and you don’t think you could be louder if you tried. You can feel the leg he’s not holding up against his shoulder shake against the bed. Your first orgasm has made way for your second to be incredibly close.

“Spencer, please.”

You’re crying out, desperate for a little more to push you over the edge.

“What do you need, baby?” His voice is tight like he’s not far himself, and it sounds better than anything you’ve ever heard.

“Harder. Please, harder.”

He takes your direction immediately, rubbing circles on your clit with one hand while he thrusts into you with a bruising force. He’s fucking you like he wants you to remember the feeling long after he stops, and you know that you will. Everything about it is overwhelming: his smell, his pace, his eyes. You are covered in him, and he is covered in you.

After a moment, the hand he had on your stomach trails up to grasp lightly at your throat, and you fall into feeling. You can’t warn him that you're about to come before you do. The feeling is white hot. Bigger than your first, and the fact that you're coming on him sends you into overdrive. You can feel his hips falter for a moment, but you're lost in a daze, crying out his name.

He pumps into you a few more times before he follows suit. He pulls out, and you feel stripes of his come paint your cunt and lower stomach as he finishes with a moan of your name.

He falls next to you on the bed, and it takes you both a few moments to collect yourselves and catch your breath.

Once you do, the only thing you can think to say is, “I love you.”

It feels like those are the only words circling around in your head at the moment. Some mixture of his name and that declaration. While you know you each said it before, that your profession was the exigence of the sex you just had, it feels uniquely vulnerable to say now. It’s like the moment you just had together could have changed things or made him realize that he doesn’t actually love you after all.

That shoe doesn’t drop, though. Instead, you hear the three words echoed back to you by a man who, 6 hours ago, you thought would never, ever say them.

You turn to face him, and the love on his face feels like it could knock you out. He’s looking at you and smiling in a way you haven't seen in a long time.

“Will you let me clean you up?”

You know that part of the reason he’s asking has something to do with the likelihood of bacteria growth or something like that, but you think it's mainly that he wants to take care of you. Him wetting a rag and running it over you feels intimate in a different way, in an excruciatingly gentle way. Personal in a way that makes you feel like nothing between you could ever be wrong again, and maybe that's naive to think, but you feel hopeful regardless.

Once he finishes, he takes his space back next to you in the bed. This time, he pulls you into his arms, and it's different than it was all those months ago. This time, you know that he won’t push you away and that you won't hurt yourself by being next to him. This time, you just tuck yourself into him, and you let him whisper sweet nothings into your ear as you begin to drift off. This time, it feels like peace.

~

The following day, you wake up to Spencer still next to you, looking incredibly soft in the early morning light. You search for a moment to find your phone in the piles of clothes and are greeted with a text from Pen.

How did it go????

You smile before turning your phone off and climbing back into bed next to the man you love. It couldn’t have gone better.

-

all done! yay!!!

i hope you guys love it!! i’m not 100% happy with the ending but i’ve been writing this for so long and just needed to be done.

this is my first time writing angst on here and my longest fic, so PLEASE tell me what you think! all (nice) feedback is welcome and i love to hear from you guys!! :)

[erinaeris]

Laios Touden and the Responsibility of Power

First off, let me gush just a bit about how fucking STRONK this man is. Olympic weightlifters are dying of sheer envy and lust over this man. He is a FUCKING POWERHOUSE.

My favorite panels ever, and judging by the cropping of the second photo, Tumblr agrees.

AHEM, where was I?

Ah yes. He's not just strong and incredibly hot, my man is literally an invasive species in this dungeon. He knows every single weak spot of every monster Thistle tried to throw at him and when he finds it he just fucking RAMS HIMSELF AT THEM AND TAKES THEM DOWN.

And when he's a dwarf HE LITERALLY BENDS STEEL.

"Beat Namari at arm wrestling"? My boy, she wouldn't let you anywhere near because you'd FUCKING BREAK HER HER HAND ALONG WITH THE TABLE. (It's such a fucking shame we didn't see Senshi at least raising an (perfectly plucked except it just grows that way naturally) eyebrow in the background when he sees this. Alas, he was too distracted by his hair.)

But I mentioned responsibility, didn't I? Strength is power in the dungeon, and we all knows what comes with great power. And Laios is, in fact, very responsible with that power!

(Futther examples under the cut, wee bit spoilers for anime watchers)

This scene lives rent-free in my head forever, because of two things: Thistle suddenly realizing just what the hell he's up against,

And Laios breaking Thistle's arm.

Now, I think Laios didn't mean to actually break his arm here, he's just half-blind and dizzy and knows he has to restrain Thistle or it will all go to shit. So that's what he does. The move you see above is a restraining hold. The point is that the person pinned down can't struggle much because the position of the arm presses the suprascapular nerve, so it hurts a lot, but unless they're held that way for too long they'll be fine.

But Thistle is TINY and elves are generally fine-boned. I think Laios really did just underestimate his strength.

And the moment the dragons aren't an IMMEDIATE THREAT anymore?

Laios heals him. Thistle's a better mage than him by miles, he could have done it himself. But no. Laios does it. He was too rough, too careless with his strength, and he immediately backtracked, fixed what he broke, and continued with more mindfullness.

And these are just the examples that stuck in my mind the most. And it happens often enough that the team isn't even fucking surprised! Laios' strength would 100% scare people who only saw him in a barfight and didn't know anything else about him. Hell, the other adventurers they meet fucking quiver before this guy who just took down a monster they had nightmares about in one blow, up until he opens his mouth and they relax. You put more malevolent software in that sort of hardware and he'd be the next Shadow Governor.

But Laios is Laios. He's a gentle soul at heart (a Great Pyrenese, specifically, the gentlest souls ever unless you're out for their flock) and he is VERY CAREFUL with his strength, ESPECIALLY around his team. Chilchuck, who is literally half his size and underfed to boot, can smack Laios as much as he wants with ZERO fear because Laios is aware he can hurt Chilchuck by literally tripping over him, so he just stays still and lets Chilchuck smack at him. I'd be surprised if he ever managed to leave a bruise. Chilchuck has to aim at Laios' weak spot (back of the knee here) just to get Laios to notice him!

But because I have some experience with marital arts and close combat, I think the fight with Shuro exemplifies my point so fucking well! Laios is HURT here, he's living every autistic person's worst nightmare.

And he HOLDS BACK. His restraint is fucking IMMACULATE.

Shuro is fucking lucky Laios still liked him when he started talking shit, because he would have broken his spine otherwise. Laios doesn't even take the fight seriously! He starts with a fucking SLAP.

Shuro retaliates with an actual punch (that does nothing but piss him off)

Laios wobbles. Shuro HITS THE DIRT.

And this is the part where he realizes just how outside his weight category he is. Shuro definitely has technique on his side, but that means jackshit when you need ten blows to to even bruise your opponent, but one hit from them will leave you drinking through a straw for a week. For a second there, Shuro thought he was in ACTUAL DANGER.

But instead of finishing the job, Laios tries to talk him down, which just sets him off again. Man was at his fucking LIMIT, and it snapped. Self-preservation who?

And the best part is? Shuro is throwing all his strength behind his punches and Laios just takes them, but Laios? He mostly pushed Shuro around!

They're mostly grappling here, precisely because Laios is very conscious his friend is pretty fragile right now.

And when he does have enough?

Shuro is flat on the ground again, and Laios has a black eye and a bloody nose. He sits down and five minutes later he's ready to go! Like yes, Shuro was at a low point here, but he's been mowing through monsters at only a bit slower pace than Laios' party. He's no weakling regardless. And Laios had to HOLD BACK SO HE WOULDN'T HURT HIM. And it's so obvious that Maizuru takes one look at the two of them and leaves them to their toussling.

When I saw her reaction I had to scroll back and take another look, because I was sure she would intervene! But she doesn't! She is aware of Laios' strength, she has to be, and she doesn't lift a finger to help her precious charge. She knows the big dog he's wrestling with knows to watch his strength.

And that's my whole point: my boi is STRONK AF! And he is very aware of his strength, and how he could hurt the people around him is he wasn't careful, so he is ALWAYS CAREFUL. He has deeply internalized the fact that to have strength is to be careful with it, to use it in service of people rather than to hurt them (possibly from his dad). He is going to SUCH a good king! He's not going to like the job but by GOD he will do it really well.

And I will give my right arm to see a fic about the first corrupt lord/governor/courtier who attempts to misuse their authority for their own gain. Kabru's gonna have to talk Laios out of an execution.

[docdudo]

Hybrid 141 As Parents - Foster Human Child!Reader

You were not expecting anything from this new placement. You knew better now a days, have been on the system since day 1, and at this point? You know better than to hope.

Usually the houses you ended up in were all mediocre at best. Foster parents that already had their own children were the most neglectful homes, even to their own children. Which also resulted in bad blood between the foster kids and the biological kids.

And worst of all, you were human. Just a simple, small, defenseless human stuck in the foster system. Usually, they try to match human kids with human foster parents. But, humans were not a big part of the population, in fact, different kind of hybrids were the biggest part of the population.

And now, failed attempts after failed attempts, you got transfered to a neighbor city (not for the first time), and this time, to a hybrid pack househood. It wasn't your first time with hybrids, but it was always a little scary. They were strangers, and adult hybrids were SO much bigger than humans. Especially a human your age, with your small size thanks to lack of care throughout the years.

Hybrids were bigger, stronger, scarier... still, you knew it couldn't be worse than some houses you have been in before, or at least, that's what you're telling yourself. Not that your social worker was helping with your anxiety, as the old bear hybrid woman gave you some information about your new foster family.

They were a big pack, which was a concept you already had difficulty to grasp. Pack doesn't always mean the nuclear family, but could also mean family friends, or sometimes, just relatives. As a human, hearing the word "pack", or "hoard", or "coven", or whatever else they could use to name their little groups, always left you a little confused.

They were four hybrid parents, a Dragon, a Werewolf, a Harpy and a Wraith. They were all part of the military, special forces or something, and they had a lot of children already, children that were already adults and had moved out some time ago. They were taking fosters now, and accordingly to your social worker, they were delightful and very nurturing parents.

You don't know what to think of that.

So all you could do was hold tightly to your beated backpack straps as your social worker excitedly introduced you to four hybrid men in their big house, giant hybrid men with so many muscles, and why is everyone so big and buff?? You knew they were military before, but god dammit, they could crush you with one hand. Here to hoping you don't annoy them to that point.

You weren't really making eye contact, keeping your eyes to the ground as you heard your social worker talk to the new fosters, but still, you would peak at them every couple of seconds or so, just to assess how they were reacting to your presence.

The dragon, one of the biggest hybrids you have ever seen, had that kinda of... respectful and mature face, smart eyes that went between you and the social worker as he nodded along to what she was saying. He was standing still, arms crossed lightly, and just one big wing carefully drapped behind his back. He smiled lightly, trying to keep casual and confortable to the new people, avoiding staring at you too much, no matter how much he wanted to.

The harpy, that was standing by the dragon's side, had such a gentle smile on his face that you avoided looking at his face again after the first peak. Gentle eyes, gentle smile, gentle demeanour. His giant, featherly wings, were also carefully tucked behind his back, almost as if to make himself smaller. Tho, it didn't help your anxiety as you saw how his feet looked like... not feet, in fact, talons.

The werewolf, a weird guy with a mohawk for christ sake, didn't even try to hide it how much he was staring. Big eyes on top of you, tail wagging a bit too fast behind him as his wolf ears perked up and moved as the social worker talked. Still, his eyes were just on you, assessing your small and timid demeanour, how truly small a human could be, how defenseless you looked.

The wraith wasn't that different either. Staring at your face with a stoic and passive look, even tho a balaclava with some skull prints covered most of his face besides the eyes, that had some... shadowy thing around them. He looked bigger than the others, but you could still see he was sligthly shorter than the Dragon, he was just buffer, and was also staring directly at you. He almost forgot how pathetic humans could be.

All of them were caught a little of guard, actually.

You were small, already small for a human, but for hybrids? Almost like a little kid. Humans rarely build much muscle throughout their teens too, so you looked like a skinny little thing, differently from how other races' kids worked. You looked like a small, young child, but even their little kids had some kind of protection. Sharp teeths, or shap claws, or sharp talons, or any kind of ability that could defend themselves.

You had nothing of the sort. You didn't have any nails, basically, short as they were in a small and delicate little hand. Feet tucked safely inside your round little sneakers, feet that, of course, wouldn't have any talons, and were delicate enough to have to stay protected by shoes. Your teeth were round and flat, looked so small too, just like your short tongue. You were soft, all soft and small and delicate. Just like a human is compared to hybrids.

Johnny had to control himself not to coo at the sight as you gently licked your uper lip and quietly fidget in place, slightly behind the big bear hybrid that was your social worker. They had a lot of kids, and he was there since all of them were a baby, but since they were all hybrids, seeing a small little thing like you, unprotected and without any kind of abilities... it made something stirr inside of him.

All of the others were in the same boat, to be fair. Parental instincts going into high overdrive just by looking at you. John was just trying his best to pretend he wasn't that effected since he still needed to pay attention to the social worker, and Kyle was making a good job of discreetly nudging Johnny and Simon so they could stop staring so hard at you.

"So, if any trouble arises, you can always call me. Even if it's just questions, anything you might be worried about, i'll help you out. Is that okay?"

"Perfectly fine, ma'am." The dragon immediatly answers, smiling neutrally as he nods.

"Yeah, this isn't our first time doing this." The harpy jokes slightly, charming smile on his face as he makes your social worker laugh a little bit with him.

"I know it isn't, boys, but it is your first time taking care of a human." She points out, a small smile on her face despite the serious tone. "They are not the same as hybrids, you know that."

"Of course. We're going to be very careful with them, don't worry." The dragon immediatly goes to sooth her worries, nodding easily.

"As i hope. Please, call me if you need anything! And, good luck, boys!"

Now, it's just you and your four new foster parents.

Part 2

[no-144444]

lies and flights- o.piastri

pairing: oscar piastri x fem! Skyf1interviewer! reader

summary: you two have a moment, the moment ends, and so does something else...

part one | part two | part three | part four

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He sighed as he walked into the paddock, cameras all over him as question after question was thrown at him. He answered as many as were appropriate and off he went, signing hats and t-shirts as he went. He had so much to do, so much to get through before qualifying, yet all he could think about was you. He didn’t mean to make it a big deal, he just wanted to take care of you. You’d fainted, for god’s sake. He was worried about you. 

He caught a glimpse of you walking in with Lando as he was filming some random content for one of the sponsor's instagram pages, and his mood sank lower than it already had been. You with Lando. 

It’s not like either of you had confessed, but you’d both felt the chemistry between the two of you, right? He finished up with filming and followed Tom into one of the meeting rooms, ready to look over data, when he (literally) bumped into you, sending you flying. 

“Shit, sorry,” he muttered as he caught you, holding you by the waist. “My bad.”

You smiled. “Saving me two days in a row? You should be a bodyguard instead of a driver,” you chuckled. “Thanks Osc.”

Lando’s jaw dropped when he heard you call him ‘Osc’, and a sense of pride bloomed in his chest. Osc was getting the girl! Lando sent him a quick thumbs up behind your back as he also held the camera. 

“What’re you doing here?” Oscar asked, not yet letting go of you. His hands were so warm, radiating heat through your whole body and making you nervous. You had a love-hate relationship with interactions with Oscar. He made you so nervous, no matter what. Your years of media training and professionalism could get stripped back by one small chuckle, one small smile, making eye contact. It was embarrassing. You liked him so much, which was a separate can of worms itself, and he looked at you the same way he looked at everyone.

“Motorhome tour,” you explained, looking up at him. He could’ve sworn he saw something in your eyes, something that practically asked him to make a move, to kiss you here in front of everyone. Then it was gone just as quickly as it appeared, your professionalism taking precedence over your feelings. “Moving on,” you turned back to the camera as Oscar dropped his hands from your waist, allowing you to move on. “To the driver’s rooms!”

He chuckled as he watched you and Lando run towards the other side of the motorhome, and Oscar started walking again, not unaware of the eyes Tom was giving him. 

“You two seem close,” he smirked. “The shoes aren’t a dealbreaker, no?”

He laughed. “Why does everyone bring up the shoes?!”

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“Congratulations on P3, Judgy McJudgy Pants! How did the race feel?” you questioned. You were doing post-race interviews today, and Oscar had gone from P5 to P3. 

“Yeah, it was difficult but we kept a good pace, Max was just too fast to catch,” he nodded, his eyes staring into yours. 

“I’m glad to hear, are you glad for the race to be over?”

He nodded, chuckling. “Very glad.”

“The heat must be something else in those cars, on top of the regular heat. Does that make getting out of the car a lot more of a relief?” 

“It does, but I was more excited about the interviewer,” he smirked. He was not doing this right now. He was not flirting with you on live television. You got the signal that the interview should end and you let out a quick breath of relief. 

“Well thank you, but I in fact need to interview your fellow podium drivers, thanks for your time.”

Lando walked over, ready to take the mic and he smirked at Oscar. “Getting bold?”

He shrugged with a smile. “What’s the worst she can say?” 

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"Oscar Jack Piastri!" Nicole's voice rang out as he lifted his phone to his ear. "My son flirting with people on live television is not something I want to see."

He chuckled as he mother continued berating him, and they chatted about the race for a while, before he had to go to the airport. When he walked to his door, ready to leave, he wasn't expecting a knock at the door, nor was he expecting it to be you.

"Hey Y/n," he smiled. "How are you?"

"I'm good thank, you?" you were out of breath. Had you ran here?

"I'm great, thanks. Are you alright?"

You came in and closed the door behind you. "What are you playing at?"

"Excuse me?"

"The interviews, the pictures, everything. What are you doing?" you questioned.

"Isn't it obvious?" he chuckled. "I like you, like, like like you. I thought I made that clear?"

You grimaced and his heart sank.

"It's fine if you don't-"

"Oscar, no, just... it's kind of awful timing and we can't be together, right? That would never work, we hate each other, right?" you rationalised, willing him to agree with you.

As much as he wanted to scream and rip his hair out, he nodded, a flat smile on his face. "Exactly, that's why I was just joking."

You breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God!" you chuckled. "Well, congratulations on the win and I'll see you in Qatar, thanks Osc."

"Bye," he smiled half-heartedly, then flung himself back on his bed when you left. You didn't like him back. And what did you mean by 'bad timing'? He spent his entire flight, awake and wondering about what you meant, and thinking over every interaction, wondering if he'd really just made it all up in his head.

But the way you looked at him, it couldn't just be platonic, right?

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yourusername

liked by pierregasly, charlesleclerc, landonorris, oscarpiastri and 2,928,733 others

yourusername: @.f1, you've been my home for many years and I love you, thank you for starting my career, but also for being my favourite series of motorsports since I was a little girl. But now @.skysports is branching out and I'm moving across the pond at the end of this season to cover @.Indycar and @.nascar ! I'll miss everyone so much, but I am so so so excited to see that the future will bring! 6 races left! (also sad to be missing the historic season that 2025 will be, but oh well!)

comments

user83: oh I'll kms.

pierregasly: we'll miss you xxx liked by: valterribottas, zhouguanyu, landonorris, danielriccardo, charlesleclerc, carlossainz, alexalbon, francocolapinto, liamlawson, yukistunoda, estebanocon, fernandoalonso, jensonbutton, aussiegrit, kevinmagnussen, nicohulkenburg, lewishamilton, georgerussell, kimiantonelli, olliebearman, isakhadjar, paularon, arthruleclerc, lancestroll, checoperez, maxverstappen, alexandrastmleux, kikagomez, lilymhe, rebeccadonaldson.

skysportsf1: We'll miss you most! xxx

tedkravitz: It's been a privilege and an honour to work with you. You truly are the funniest person I've ever met. Your segment on Ted's notebook will be thoroughly missed. You will be thoroughly missed.

charlesleclerc: Bonne chance mon amour! ❤️

yukistunoda: who will organise interviews with me and pierre now? 😿 -> yourusername: I'll ask ted :(

danielriccardo: legend of the sport :) -> yourusername: looking in a mirror are we?

mercedesfmg: we'll miss you y/n! 🩵

mclaren: missing you already! 🧡

user72: guys... has anyone told oscar? -> user21: he must be so upset :( -> user92: yeah his best friend and his crush leaving F1 in the same year.

stakef1: missing you 💚 -> yourusername: manifesting hulkenburg podium next year

lewishamilton: I'll miss you, but you definitely have to come back for some hot laps... maybe Austin next year? -> yourusername: I'm there :)

maxverstappen: sad to see you go, but i can't wait for all the stories :)

landonorris: FUCK I'M CRYING WHAT I'M GOING TO MISS YOU TOO MUCH PLEASE DON'T GO -> yourusername: IT'LL BE FINE LANDO YOU'RE A BIG BOY

patooward: YAY WE GET Y/N!

haasf1team: our favourite interviewer ever ❤️

alpine: missing you loads 🩷

jackdoohan: NO I'M FINE THAT MY BEST FRIEND IS MISSING MY ROOKIE SEASON -> yourusername: I'LL BE IN MELBOURNE AND AT THE LAST FEW RACES!!! -> jackdoohan: ...forgiven.

liamlawson: NO DON'T LEAVE ME HERE ALONE -> yourusername: JACK WILL BE THERE NEXT YEAR CALM DOWN

kimiantonelli: miss you xxx

olliebearman: will be in need of your smoothie recipe since you won't be here to make it :( -> yourusername: I'll send it to you :)

user829: someone check on oscar rn...?? -> user36: fr he's probably sobbing his celeb crush is leaving the paddock for good ->user292: BRO IS IN THE LIKES !!!!!!

redbullracing: we'll be staying tuned to watch shine -> user88: wow a better send-off than daniel got lmao

logansargeant: CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN 😁😁😁😁 -> yourusername: ME NEITHER

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He stared at his phone in shock.

What. The. Fuck.

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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)

part one | part two | part three | part four

[melminli]

Could you store something with jun-hee (player 222) x f!reader plz🙏

Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby

summary - it may sound a bit cliché, but you were in love with your best friend. even though you always wanted to tell her, you strongly doubted that she could use your love - you didn't know that she thought the same. you two were really stupid, huh?

pairing: kim jun-hee x fem. reader

word count: 1.1k

contains: wlw, angst w/ comfort, arguing, fluff, pre squid game au, hidden feelings

a/n: i went to a cas concert a few months ago and it was insane. this was the song that just stuck with me since then and i thought about her when i listened to it again after watching the show! hope u like it ;p

"Oh man, they forgot our spring rolls." you realized disappointed after you went through each package of food one by one until there was nothing left but napkins in the bag. You looked at your best friend as you said. "Should I go to the store and get them? I know how much you like them, and I think the owner likes me, who knows, maybe we'll get an extra portion or something, huh?"

Jun-hee just shook her head with a gentle smile on her face. "That's all right. I want to eat with you and by the time you come back, the food will be all cold and mushy." she said, reaching for the chopsticks after opening her box of fried noodles.

You sat down on the opposite chair of your little dining table in your small kitchen. "I guess, I can't argue with that." you gave in and reached for a spoon to mix your fried rice a little.

You had turned on the radio a while ago and the music it was playing accompanied the pleasant silence between the two of you. You could hardly stop yourself from thinking about how homely this all felt right now with her, as you often did in the last few days. It was sudden and you were definitely caught off guard when Jun-hee suddenly appeared at your doorstep with a packed bag in tow. You didn't know exactly what happened, but you didn't need to because you could imagine that it probably had something to do with her parents or something - it didn't matter. She would tell you when she was ready.

"I heard that this one popular show is getting a second season soon, you know..." you started to tell her and then tried to think of the title when you suddenly heard a soft howl. You immediately stood up when you saw Jun-hee sitting huddled up with her arms covering her face. "Hey, what's wrong..." you asked worriedly, not used to such an emotional reaction from her since she was usually such a collected person. This was a very rare occurrence.

She interrupted you before you could say anything else. "I'm pregnant!" she cried out, feeling the lingering guilt inside her finally take over her entire mind as she uttered those words. A few minutes passed with you just holding her like that and Jun-hee clung tightly to you, sobbing. She was worried that you might let her go - in fact, she expected you to, which is why she didn't tell you for so long.

I can't blame her for anything, I really am the worst. She thought to herself when she still couldn't bring herself to let go. No matter how selfish it might be of her.

"Is it from that Mingyu guy?" you finally asked her and she nodded vaguely, but it was enough for you to understand. Jun-hee didn't even bother to correct you when you said his name wrong.

You just sighed and even if you didn't say it out loud, she could feel how angry you were with her - how disappointed. "You're mad at me," she stated while you continued to stroke her back reassuringly, even when the position you were holding her in was a little uncomfortable for you. "Of course I am, the guy's an asshole and you're only in your early twenties," you answered her honestly, comforting her with your own broken heart. "Does he even know? Last I heard, all his fans were sending him death threats because he stole their money or something."

She didn't even want to think about it. "He's not answering my calls and I have no idea where he is."

You let out another heavy sigh. "You're really stupid sweetie, I knew that guy was like this from the beginning, really," you spoke up before looking confusedly at Jun-hee after she lifted her head from your chest and met your gaze with a furrowed brow. "Can you stop rubbing it in my face? I already know that I fucked up!" she exclaimed, completely exhausted as she continued to rub her reddened eyes.

So she wants to keep the baby, her parents probably kicked her out as soon as they found out. You massaged your forehead, exhausted. "So, what now?" you just asked her, elaborating on your question when she looked at you with a confused look. You just wanted to kiss her right now and tell her that everything would be okay again and at the same time, you wanted to smash your head through a wall and cry. "What are you going to do now with a baby on the way? Do you have a plan for how you're going to look after it?"

I don't have a job or any money. I don't know what to do. She didn't answer you right away and just avoided your gaze, embarrassed, so you reached for her hand to get her attention. "If you don't know what to do and you want me to help you, then you have to tell me," you finally said and you were probably the stupid one this time.

Jun-hee looked at you in surprise and took a few seconds to really understand what you meant. "Are you sure? You don't have to do something like that for me..."

You interrupted her relatively quickly. "I want to do this for you because -" and your love confession was almost half hanging from your lips when you stopped yourself from saying it out loud in the last second. What am I doing? This is completely the wrong time for this. "- because you can always count on me, even if no one else does."

Oh, that's right. Jun-hee thought to herself as she held her pounding heart and smiled a little forcedly. I thought she was going to say something else, how stupid of me I mean you're pregnant with another man's child right now Jun-hee, wake up. She brought herself back down to earth. You already gave her more than enough. "Please, help me."

You spread your arms out again to catch her in a hug. "We'll work it out, don't worry..." you tried to reassure her further, any unspoken feelings remaining as you both made the decision to keep them a secret.

[itsthecline]

headcanons

maybank!reader x rafe cameron

warnings i talk about them having sex

18+ minors dni

you knew rafe before working at the club. everyone on the island knew everyone on the island. you knew that he messed with your brother and friends. you knew he was a rich kook who thought of himself as god. until he started bothering you at work , he was just some asshole to you.

the flirting started at work and then transformed into him offering to give you a ride home one night when your truck had broken down. he dropped you off a block from the house due to your request , and it never came up again.

jj had his bike , and you had your truck. it was beat up , but you had repaired it with your dad on his good days.

everything about your relationship was hidden from the world. the only person that had ever seen you together was ward one time when rafe was sneaking you out early one morning. “is that why you’ve been less of a menace lately?” he asked his son as he watched you pull out of their driveway.

your brother didn’t question your late nights or the days he wouldn’t see you. you always had some sort of excuse to get away with hanging out with rafe.

most of your hangouts were out on his boat away from anyone else. you’d lounge around drinking and smoking and talking about anything and everything. that’s when you truly got to know rafe. he confessed all of his secrets , the way he and his dad worked , sarah , all of it. you did the same , finding comfort in rafe.

at first , you thought it was just some weird friendship thing you two had going on , assuming he needed someone to be a human diary just like you did until he kissed you one night.

from that night on , you would hangout and hookup more often. it was obvious that there was something more than just friends with benefits , but you were content with what it was.

yes , jj finding out would have been world war three , but you were the most worried about kie finding out about you and rafe. you knew she had some sort of history with him after her kook year , but you didn’t know details , so it worried you a little.

beach bum!! if you’re not working , you’re on the beach. you’re always in a swimsuit with a shirt or shorts never both. you’re the only one that holds a candle to jj’s surfing.

despite keeping things under wraps , you both were very jealous people. you knew that it was inevitable to see some kook hanging on rafe’s arm at the boneyard , but that didn’t stop you from glaring dagger at her and saying it was directed at him when your friends asked. rafe is especially possessive , and he always made sure to show you how upset he was when ‘some pogue’ got too close to you.

i can see you posting that one tiktok sound that goes “he chose me! he don’t want you! nanny nanny booboo i fuck him more than you do!” with his arm over your shoulder to keep his identity hidden but still wanting to be petty about some girl at a party

you were off and on with him ; usually it was you calling it quits when he acted too out of line , but every once in awhile he would break up with you. you were always especially miserable when you weren’t with him , feeling like a piece of you was missing , but when it was because of him , it got really bad.

after you got back from pougelandia , you didn’t speak a word to him for eighteen long months. you saw him all over the island — with sofia , but you ignored his stares.

the worst thing about your relationship was the fact that you knew him so deeply and were convinced that in another world him and your brother could’ve been good friends. you accepted that wasn’t plausible in this lifetime , though.

he reassured you that you being a pogue didn’t matter to him at all , but you both knew it would affect your relationship in the long run. in the meantime , he spoiled you to death , saying his girl deserves the world.

y’all little freaks in the sheets. you’re the first girl that’s every truly gotten to experience rafe cameron the way you did. ever other girl he had been with was a one night stand , a stray two times thrown in there every now and again , but you got all of him.

the breakup sex was mind blowing , but it was the makeup sex that had your heart. rafe was softer with you , sweeter with his tone of voice.

you called him pookie all of the time , and he hated it. he liked ‘the normal ones’ like babe or baby. one he especially loved was my love. it reminded him that you did love him ; you weren’t hanging around for his money or to get anything from him.

he was so soft with you. aside from your tiffs ; you’d only gotten into one singular heated argument before. it lasted the longest out of all of them , mainly because you didn’t break up , you just kept fighting when you saw each other. he called you a bitch. you slapped him. and it just kept coming up.

it’s giving starstruck the way he had you cooped up in his room when he threw parties. it drove you insane , but you knew that rafe would be popping in all throughout the night , so it wasn’t a complete loss of time.

he misses you. a lot. he had sofia now , but she wasn’t you. he wanted to tell you that the first time you saw him after getting back , but he was with her and he saw you look at them together. you turned your back and walked away. he’d leave you alone for now.

taglist @maybankslover @annatartastic @maroonz @ravenmedows @yootvi @icaqttt

[cjlouwho]

Prompt: Everyone knows that Tommy is a pushover for Buck's 🥺 eyes (it's a running joke for the 118/217), but when Tommy gets upset and is very quietly 🥺, Buck is shocked by how completely and utterly insane he goes to make Tommy feel better.

(bonus points if it's a completely dumb reason, like Tommy's run out of ice cream or something and it's just A Bad Day)

A little silly, a little serious, I hope you enjoy!

One of the many things Buck loved about his and Tommy's relationship is that he got to see a side of Tommy that no one else saw. He got to see many sides of Tommy that no one else saw, actually.

While everyone got a piece of calm, cool, and collected Thomas Kinard, Buck got all that and everything in between.

He saw him on his best days, his worst days, goofy days, sick days, horny days, tired days, all the days! He often thought of making a list of all the things people would be surprised to know about Tommy. He'd never share it, of course, but it'd be nice for him to have.

Like, how Tommy was ticklish only on his right side. And when he got tickled, he didn't do his normal laugh. Instead it was a high pitched giggle with a snort.

Or, how Tommy was super proud of the fact he knew every single word to We Didn't Start the Fire and he felt the need to sing it at the top of his lungs at least once a week.

How he loved human connection, but hated being touched by strangers. He'd hug a friend all night long if you needed it, but if he didn't know you please keep your hands to yourself.

How he liked tomatoes on cold sandwiches, but never on toasted ones.

How he loved when Buck would sit on the countertop and kiss him because it made him feel smaller, and he loved feeling small and protected in Evan's arms.

How his voice got deeper during sex. Whether he was inside Buck or Buck was inside him, his voice would always get all gravely and deep in a way that sent shivers down Buck's spine.

Maybe one of the biggest ones was how Tommy was not always the stoic, perfectly poised man as he presented himself to the world.

Tommy could get emotional. Emotional in a way that was usually reserved for movies written by men about women during their period.

Buck was thrown off by it the first time it happened. He almost thought it was a joke, until he saw the tears in Tommy's eyes as he mourned the fact he was out of whipped cream.

Then it was just heartbreaking.

It didn't happen often. A series of bad events throughout the day would build up in his body and brain until the smallest inconvenience caused him to fall apart.

They'd talked about it before. Tommy had grown up having to hold in his thoughts and feelings. They'd build and build until he'd do something erratic or harmful. Then he joined the army, and those emotions would build up the same way. Being in the army itself was a bit erratic and harmful, so he didn't have the best coping skills.

It wasn't until he started therapy, and his therapist helped him realize that he needed to let himself feel whatever he was feeling that he slowly and gradually became better at opening up.

However, there were still days where he felt the need to let everything build. Build and build until he burst. Except, now days, instead of becoming erratic or harmful, his eyes would well up and his lip would come out in a pout, and Buck would feel the need to move heaven and earth to make it all better.

Buck knew something was off as soon as he got home from work. Tommy was already there in the garage, half bent over his truck as he worked on the engine.

Buck let out a whistle. “What a view,” he teased.

Tommy glanced back at him, gave him a half smile before focusing back on his truck. “Hey, Baby. I ordered dinner. Should be in before it gets here.”

To anyone else, that might seem like a regular conversation. To Buck, it was the exact opposite. Normal Tommy would make some teasing comment right back, letting Buck know what he was seeing was just a preview of what was to come.

This... This was the start of an emotional night.

*****

Dinner was fairly quiet, with Buck leading most of the conversation. He knew not to ask questions yet. If he did it too soon, Tommy would completely shut down and it would take even longer to get any information out of him. As much as Buck hated it, this had to play out a certain way.

Luckily, he was fluent in Tommy.

It was a little after dinner, once Buck had settled in the living room, that it began.

“Evan?” Tommy called out from the kitchen.

“Yeah?”

“Is... Did you put my ice cream in a different spot?”

“No, it's-” Buck froze, thinking back to two nights ago. Jee had come over and wanted a treat. She ended up eating the last of Tommy's favorite birthday cake ice cream. He knew that, on a regular day, Tommy wouldn't care that it was gone.

He also knew today wasn't a regular day.

“I think it's all gone, Babe,” he said cautiously as he got up from the couch and headed into the kitchen.

“Oh. Okay.”

He wasn't angry. He never got angry over little things like that.

He was sad. Resigned to the fact he would not be getting any of his favorite ice cream tonight.

Buck often felt like it'd be a lot easier if he just got angry.

He made it into the kitchen just as Tommy closed the freezer door. His face downcast, he glanced up at Buck through his eyelashes, eyes wide and wet. His bottom lip jutted out ever so slightly before he turned away from Buck and headed for the pantry.

“I'll have cookies instead,” he said with a sniff.

Buck got out his phone and pressed a few buttons before stuffing it back into his pocket and walking over to Tommy.

“Honey, why don't we just go sit down for a minute?”

“I just...” His shoulders sagged. “I really don't want cookies.”

Gently, Buck placed his hands on Tommy's back, nudging him until he could lead him toward the living room. “Why don't we go sit on the couch, okay?”

Tommy simply nodded, but Buck could see him lift a hand to his face and wipe a tear off his cheek.

The thing was, Buck knew he could be a handful sometimes. He was bratty, pouty, stubborn, and jealous. And Tommy accepted all of that. Not just accepted it, loved it. He loved every part of Buck, even the parts Buck didn't love himself.

Buck also knew Tommy would do anything for him. Would drop whatever he was doing and run to Buck's side the second he got a call. Would wait on him hand and foot. He spoiled Buck rotten, and everyone knew it.

There weren't as many opportunities for Buck to reciprocate that level of love and support. But when these days came along, that what's Buck's time to shine. He hated to see Tommy like this, but loved that he could be there for him. Loved that he could help him through it. So that's what he did.

They got situated, Buck leaning against the arm rest with his legs sprawled out on the couch. He pulled Tommy down so his back rested against Buck's chest. Buck wrapped his arms around him, hands meeting just over his heart. Tommy's hands drifted up and latched onto Buck's, holding tight.

“Why don't you tell me about work?” Buck asked, pressing a kiss to the top of Tommy's head. Things had been fine before they left for work the previous morning, so something had to have happened during their shift.

“I only had two calls.”

“And?”

“And the first one was a drunk driver. It was noon, Evan. Noon.”

“Casualties?”

Tommy shook his head. “No, but a young girl got hit. Spinal injury. She probably won't walk again.”

Now Buck had a starting point.

“After that?”

Tommy's body tensed so Buck squeezed him tighter. “The new probie, Jenkins, did something stupid and pissed me off.”

“What'd he do?”

“Doesn't matter.”

“If it pissed you off, it matters.”

“He's one of those religious types that carries pamphlets in their pockets,” Tommy explained. “I guess he overheard me talking about you- about us- a few weeks ago so he gifted me a pamphlet today.”

Buck knew where this was going. “You're kidding me?”

“I wish. It was some Adam and Eve crap, not even original. It reminded me of my dad. He... He used to say things like that. Anyway, I threw the pamphlet away without reading it.”

“Good for you.”

Tommy shifted slightly, tangling his and Buck's legs together. “The only thing that kept running through my mind was how we watched a little girl's life change forever, she will never walk again, and all Jenkins was thinking about was turning me straight.”

Buck brought a hand to Tommy's hair, carefully running his fingers through it. “I'm sorry, Tommy.”

“My aunt texted me too. Wanted me to come to the next family reunion.”

“Are you gonna go?”

“I told her I'd have a plus one and she... she said she doesn't wanna hear my dad complain for an entire weekend. I was quickly uninvited.”

Buck took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I- If you wanna go-”

“There's not a single part of me that wants to be there, especially without you. I'm good.”

“If you're sure.”

“I'm sure.”

“What about your truck?” Buck asked. “You were working on it when I got home.”

“Oh. That.” Tommy rolled his eyes. “That was the icing on the cake. Engine light came on in the middle of my drive home. I think I fixed the problem for now, but I'm gonna need a new engine soon. Everything just fell apart today, Evan, I- sorry.”

“You don't need to be sorry.” Just then the doorbell rang and Buck gave Tommy a pat on the shoulder. “You do need to get the door though. It's for you.”

Tommy sat up, eyebrows furrowing at Buck before he got up and headed for the door.

About thirty seconds later, he was back with a paper bag in hand. His eyes were soft and tear-filled, but not with sadness this time. “You ordered my ice cream?”

Buck nodded, giving him a smile. “Of course I did.”

Tommy set the bag down and walked over to Buck, kneeling beside the couch and resting his head on Evan's lap. He wrapped his arms around Evan's waist the best he could, his face pressed against Evan's stomach. “I love you so much.”

After a few seconds, Buck stroked his thumb over Tommy's cheek. “Come here,” he said softly, pulling him up for a chaste kiss. “I love you too.”

[ybklix]

you can be the boss

★ pairing: softdom!chrisbang x inexperienced!femreader PART THREE ♡ part one / part two

☆summary: What started fast, you wished it wouldn't end fast, because ever since you met Chris it has been an adventure of new experiences and emotions you never thought you would feel, yet the weight of something that started out being wrong was finally getting to you.

✧ genre - warnings: MDNI 18+, smut, petnames, oral sex, boobplay, edging, cunnilingus, fingering, orgasm denial, daddy kink, praise kink, unprotected sex, creampie, hints of fluff.

word count: 8.8k

masterlist - taglist ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹

a/n: hello, this became a short series, welcome, part 4 soon, hope u understand and like it, I tried w the fluff

Everything was fine, except for the fact that you were lying to everyone's face, even though you felt it shouldn't be that way in the first place, Chris was no longer in a relationship with someone else right now and neither were you when you met him, you still had that little feeling of disgust after all and deep down you wanted to go back to being you, that naive girl who didn't care for a second about the fact that he was someone else's boyfriend, of not taking the relationship seriously because of the already well known history and pattern of couples of a woman like Ruby and worst of all, was that you couldn't hate her, beyond her slightly unfriendly face and fake personality, but she was still decent and nice to you, of course, before you knew it was you who was now with Chris, now you had no idea what they were like and didn't want to find out, you were fine with him, sneaking around in your free time after class, ignoring everyone and your parents filling you with messages asking you all the time if you were still on campus and if you were already heading to your dorm, lying and just saying yes, when the reality was otherwise.

You had never had your parents on you for years, just this very moment when the small relationship you had with Chris was more than known and public, Chris, the man who offered them his home to spend a few weeks in the summer and was slightly but at the same time significantly older than you… that was all the information your poor father had because he had no further interest in knowing for him, he was only at his house for Dahlia and you as he thought it would be a good distraction for you along with your cousin-friend your age with whom you got along so well, but Dahlia was only there for Ruby, who insisted on it, and after so many years, for the first time ever, she saw her so excited and enthusiastic about someone. Ruby was somewhat complicated with her relationships and all the time the poor thing blamed herself feeling that it ended up being her fault in some way or another and Chris was no exception, in the end he broke up with her, causing her a slight insecurity, bigger than her past relationships because this time she was really convinced that she would stay with Chris, that he would eventually ask her to move in together and they would be happy forever… but the reality was different and seeing you together only reopened the wound she thought she had closed, she was fine, she just felt awful and terrible for experiencing another failed relationship in her almost thirties, but she still looked so young, her image was enviable and she could have whoever she wanted, she was fine, or at least she pretended to be when she didn't think too much about Chris as she respected his decision so much despite it not being a mutual breakup, but everything changed just by seeing you with him, as her mind idealized the perfect infidelity that it all happened quickly at his summer house, which was quite true and her crazy thoughts were not so far from reality.

On the other hand, your father didn't know what to say that time on the phone as the first time you discussed it was through a phone call, as he couldn't just show up unexpectedly at the university, the chances of meeting you there in a fixed place were so low so he had to confront you through the phone, he didn't know what to tell you, he just asked you for an explanation which you didn't have in concrete, it had just happened, deep down you believed the real reason for his call was Dahlia, who wanted to hear something from you about the situation since she found out from a very agitated and upset Ruby, but you have been avoiding them ever since, in fact, you have been avoiding all of them.

Chris's arms managed to soothe you for the moment, they made you realize that when you were next to him everything was fine… but when you weren't next to him the little guilt came back to hit you coldly. You came to think about the situation, with a shudder and disgust, that you had taken a man away from a woman that maybe they had plans to marry, they were both grown up and knew their families, well at least you knew that about Chris towards Ruby, you didn't know exactly if she knew Chris's family, you didn't know how they met, if they lived together and how serious they were, though at the end of the day… for him to give in and get to you, you immediately deduced that they weren't serious after all, but you with Chris, you did want to be very serious. You didn't want to know those details but at the same time you were so curious, you were starting to feel insecure.

Your little thoughts persisted and unconsciously you walked away and Chris noticed, you walked away from him, suddenly you were so busy and tired that you just came to your dorm room, texted him goodnight and repeated your cycle of your ordinary life before him, where your day was based on college.

You didn't know what to do, you knew they weren't your family directly, you didn't want to think about it too much either but maybe it was just the stress of college combined with the new feeling of dealing with a man like Chris, although you wouldn't directly use that term to address him, you just decided to blame the slight stress on you accumulated with the new feelings forming more and more strongly in you.

And in the middle of a class, you remembered him. You missed him, god you missed him so much, but Chris was very respectful of your space and understood that you were busy at the university but it had been days without feeling his touch, suddenly you remembered him, the sweet touch of his skin against yours, the closeness of his body and his tender but dominant presence near you, all of him, you needed him now to turn off your feelings and take the stress away from you, besides it had been a heavy day, you still had to see him, you had him for yourself and you didn't take the opportunity, now you felt the need to get him.

All you told him was if you could see each other to which he quickly responded in that he would pick you up and be in the west side university parking lot near your dorm building. You lied to him a little about what time he could pick you up as he was so sweetly punctual and you wanted to get to your dorm, shower and get ready to see him as you knew the chances were so high that meeting him would mean you'd be so inevitably pleased. You wore a nice skirt and top, did your makeup and hair for the first time in the rushed and stressful college week and went out happy, with no other thought but to finally see him.

In the distance, you saw him looking so handsome, wearing comfortable but formal black cloth pants and a collared shirt of the same color, tight to his body, making him look so good and highlighting his almost porcelain skin, he smiled broadly at you upon seeing you and you noticed that he didn't have empty hands, but a nice bouquet of flowers accompanied him, as you approached just steps away from him, you finally breathed in his scent, you breathed the same air so close and dared to hug him, an act that he reciprocated immediately, wrapping his strong arms around you, you needed him so much, you wanted to hug him every day if it was possible.

Chris resented your absence and estrangement so much that he was going out of his way to let you know that he really liked you and that he was taking every time you spent together seriously, he gave you a little kiss on top of your head before pulling away. All your silly thoughts were gone once you were with him, you didn't even remember the disappointed expressions of your family that you imagined so much, nor was there anyone else but the two of you.

“For you, I really thought I was going to see you until the weekend” he mentioned sweetly, handing you the bouquet of pink flowers.

You looked at him tenderly, no one had ever given you flowers or small gifts suddenly just for the sake of it, just because he missed you and was coming back to see you after days, it was like he was celebrating that he is finally close to you again, Chris was quite the man.

“Thank you, Chris.”

You were blushing. Your whole body burned sweetly and you moved closer to him to give him a quick kiss on the lips, an act which he took advantage of and didn't let it be fleeting, instead he grabbed you from your lower back pulling you to his body to join more passionately in a real and long lasting kiss, in a feast of delicious movements and exploration that you so longed for and missed, his full lips against yours, his nose on your face, his muscular body attached to yours, your arms around him, you almost fell weak again at his touch, but he was holding you so tightly.

“I missed you” he whispered as he pulled away minimally, brushing your lips.

Chris smiled. His nose playing with yours, nuzzling.

“Me too, that's why I called you” you replied, mesmerized in the provocative playfulness that was having his face so close.

Chris licked his lips, the sweet and tender was becoming darker and darker as the seconds ticked by and you felt his breath hit your face, there was so much tension all of a sudden in such a public place. He analyzed you, his piercing but soft gaze watching you from above, he looked so good every time he watched you like that, you adored every angle of him, you could get down on your knees and suck him off right there, or push yourself back on your heels to catch his lips again and kiss him for a long time, you could do anything with him.

“I always want to see you. Don't let days go by without seeing you, I can't” he confessed.

You smiled warmly, joy filling every inch of you for having him. You were the same as you were just over a month ago, warm bodies under a hot sun in his house, but at the same time it felt like something changed in you, being able to see each other at any time, under the stars, without having to hide.

Chris was proud to have you, his time of reflection had passed in which he doubted whether to let you go, let you do your normal life, dating a college boy your age… but he couldn't allow that, he didn't see you with anyone else but him, you were his and that filled every part of him. Your relationship wasn't the best, he was a man with his life made and you were a young woman still seeing for her future, but he didn't care, he wanted to be there for you, smoothing the long journey that is having to build your own life and future, plus he was sure that no other immature guy was going to treat you and take care of you the way he planned to.

“Okay, come see me every day. I'm free from 2 to 5, then I take two classes and go to the dorm.”

“We can do so many things in those three hours, why hadn't you told me?”

He teased sweetly starting to stroke your back, the tension was building again, but some young men walking quietly through the parking lot distracted you from your own bubble.

Chris cleared his throat and the two of you slowly separated.

“Well, get in the car, princess,” he smiled at you.

He opened the door for you, he fastened your seatbelt as a perfect excuse to be close to your body, getting his head in, you appreciated him, his structured profile and his large hands and arms delicately sliding the belt to buckle you in, you breathed in his perfume, you boldly saw the veins in his arms and hands, almost drooling over him, you hadn't been touched in days.

But your inner fire ceased a little, when he turned to see you with an adorable smile closing his eyes. Chris rounded the car and sat behind the wheel.

“Did you have something planned for today, baby girl?” he spoke starting the car.

His sudden little nicknames for you always made you blush.

“Mm, not today, I just wanted to see you.”

He smiled even wider, stretching his handsome face as he showed pure happiness at having you.

“Mmm well, we can take advantage of one of the last warm nights since the cold autumn is coming.”

You frowned, not sure what he was referring to. But you could tell he had something on his mind.

“Oh, okay…”

You decided to leave it like that, seeing it as a surprise as to what you could do. On the way you both talked, Chris was also busy on a project, but as soon as you called him, he stopped it and went running to get ready to see you, you felt bad, but he told you that you shouldn't feel that way, that he was the boss anyway and could stop his work from time to time when he wanted to. You blushed, everything about him was so structured, he was a man with a life, but he was lonely and you were more than happy to be that someone to keep him company.

He caressed your bare thigh from time to time and you shyly put your hand on his, feeling his strong, long fingers in your warm palm. You were so comfortable with him, the way he spoke appealingly focused on the road and seeing you momentarily but doing it in such a detailed way… within minutes, you decided to look around when you noticed he was slowing down and recognized the place right away, his house near the beach. You felt a shiver, you had never seen it from that perspective at night, the front of his home at night, the slightly long driveway leading up to the main lot… you hadn't been there since you left and did so one afternoon with the strong sun on your body. It had been so quick, you and Chris acted fast after a fleeting week of secret meetings at his pool house and decided that you had to go, to slowly evict everyone, his ex-girlfriend being the last pawn to remove. Once again, you felt slightly bad for her. Recapping your plan sounded so cynical and heartless, you met, and liked each other, when he was in a relationship and plotted how he should break up with her to be with you, kind of heartless, but there was nothing else to do, it was almost like Chris was waiting for you, designed for you, he looked so mismatched with Ruby anyway, you wanted to convince yourself. In the end, he chose you, yes you acted with your hormones and senses in turmoil, like a heartless little bitch, but you got the man.

You looked at his home, it suddenly felt so distant and new from a different perspective, being now Chris's lover and not just a guest and stranger to him, you still remembered your magnetic first meeting. The time you met a man who you kept thinking of all the ways he could make you full and happy, but he only had one obstacle and impediment, which was so easy to remove, you were scared that what easy came into your hands could go away so easily too, you didn't want to walk away from Chris, there were nights when you were worried that you couldn't call him your boyfriend, there was a real bond that tied you to him, although the situation was so ironic and hypocritical, sometimes you weren't sure if you deserved such happiness so easily, doing wrong and getting good results. You wanted to be the same as you were more than a month ago, when none of that mattered to you more than the sweet tobacco taste of Chris's lips on yours, you didn't know why you were overthinking it so much, he wasn't dating anyone else anymore, he made that clear to you.

“We haven't been here alone, ever” he spoke suddenly, parking the car.

You were engrossed with the facade of his home, that his deep voice resonated with you, you turned to see him with a smile. You wanted everything to be special with you too, you didn't want to feel in the shadow of his ex-girlfriend even though you'd only seen them interact for a week, Liv's voice saying they'd lasted six months and knowing each other since January echoed in your head so annoyingly.

“It's all ours now” he repeated again.

His words only calmed you down a little. And you got out of the car as soon as he opened the door for you. There was no reason to feel somehow unhappy, when it was right there where it all started, his simple kiss, his first touch and now it was yours, making it more than clear that he had completely forgotten about Ruby, but you didn't understand why it still wasn't so clear to you.

Chris noticed your expression, grabbed you by the waist and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Everything okay, sweetie?” he whispered softly, making your hair stand on end.

You stopped dead in your tracks, surprising Chris but he stopped with you, you turned to see him, and just before you entered his house, you saw him with huge bright eyes, begging, but not in a sexual way, you were begging to know that you were the only woman he wanted to have in his life, you wanted to know, you were hungry for it but you couldn't find the right words, plus each and every one of his actions were right but you wanted a confirmation from him, in words, that he wouldn't leave you and that he was truly feeling that connection and great magnetism, as personas, souls and not just bodies.

“What, baby girl?” he let out a chuckle, touched and with his brow gently furrowed, confused by your act.

He wasn't so sure if you could ever feel comfortable again in a place where you met him having someone else, but he wanted to try, getting sizzling hot moments where nothing could turn you off. Chris caressed your face, you were pouting softly.

“Mmm, nothing.”

“It's definitely something, tell me all about it, sweetheart” he sounded so understanding, such a soft, sweet tone that you wanted to hear every day.

“I want you” you confessed.

Chris knew exactly what you meant by that phrase, he wanted you too, as much as you wanted him, but he was waiting and idealizing so much for the perfect and indicated moment.

“I want you, too. I want everything from you” he replied softly.

His answer made you uneasy but calmed you at the same time, leaving you confused, he took to running his hands through your arms and hugged you. Leaving you with your mind swimming. But you didn't say anything else, you stayed there, thinking that maybe you shouldn't rush things.

You followed him into the house, it looked so different, with no one around, just you and him, that was your dream, something you longed for but couldn't help but feel empty in a way, it wasn't the material, but something deep inside you, but it all made sense, when Chris took a few steps ahead of you, and you saw him with his back turned, with his house in the background, you understood and every corner shined again. Just you and him, forgetting everything. Being what you always were, an inevitable cute mess attracted to each other.

“Have you had dinner yet? I can make dinner here” he spoke sweetly.

You nodded, “I'm fine, and you?”

He too nodded softly.

“Then... let's enjoy ourselves, I prepared the pool for us before the weather turns completely cold.”

You smiled at him, “Mm... you want to go to the pool?” you said seductively, moving closer to him until you joined your body to his again.

He was so captivated by you and the way you saw him and approached him, the night was perfect, so quiet, being able to kiss in his foyer without any trouble, only hearing each other and the faint, distant sound of crickets chirping and the night itself.

“But I don't have a bathing suit” you replied, playing with him and pouting.

“You can get in naked” he joked to which you were surprised and he laughed, “Let's go upstairs to my room, I have something for you.”

He took you by the hand, his warm big hand holding you, guiding you to a room you had never entered as it was too risky back then, his room, the master bedroom which he accompanied with a certain woman who made you shiver just thinking about it. Still, you inspected every detail of the room. You liked it but your face was more than obvious.

“I changed everything” Chris suddenly blurted out, “It's another bed, other sheets...”

Chris understood the importance and level of things, he was trying to put himself in your shoes and imagining the idea that someone else had you and touched you before him truly drove him crazy, he couldn't even bear to imagine it, then he understood that you met him 'having the heart' of another woman, so you might find it difficult, but the truth was that now genuinely, it was all yours.

His comments awakened something in you, the fact that he paid attention to those details to make you understand as if she had never existed in his life, reassured your inner self.

“And this...” you said.

You noticed a nice white bikini and a shopping bag with a designer logo on the bed, next to a nice dress next to it, you thought you weren't ready for gifts, although in reality you were, but you didn't know what to do about it, other than tell him thank you, you didn't know what to give Chris back, you were a college girl living in a dorm with another girl and this semester he wouldn't let you take a part time job, you wanted to give him something too. He slowly approached you with perilous steps and with a tenderly joyful expression came back to tell you:

“This is also for you, I saw it and immediately thought of you, how much I want to see you in it...”

You were caused tenderness by his way of saying it. But something about him was still so captivating and seductive. He was all a dream, how could you leave him.

“Oh... Chris...”

“Don't be modest, let me shower you with gifts, I want to. A thank you is fine with me, if you can think of other ways to say thank you, you can always tell me” he mentioned as he saw your slightly worried expression, his last comment came out somewhat impishly from him.

“Thank you” you leaned in closer, giving him a kiss on his soft, clean cheek.

“You're welcome, baby doll. I want you to wear it on a special day, what are you doing this weekend? Can we see each other?”

“I'll be free” you replied with a smile.

“Perfect” he smiled, “Now relax a little and let's go to the pool, water's warm. Let me get you dressed.”

The naturalness with which he said the last sentence made you freeze in a good way, blushing. You nodded, waiting for him, Chris walked over to you with an adorable smile plastered on his face and leaned over to whisper to you:

“Let daddy dress her doll.”

He and his damn habit of calling himself daddy, it made you angry because it accomplished something indescribable to you. It made you so hot in seconds. The closeness of his mouth on your ear and his light brush against your loose hair made your skin bristle. You almost swallowed nervously, but you looked at him again with pleading eyes, this time in a sexual mode and it drove Chris crazy, your inexplicable, innocent aura he couldn't resist.

He let out a sigh, already aroused without even touching you until he grabbed the hem of your blouse, lifting it up, you raised your arms and let him undress you completely, starting from top to bottom, he removed your bra and admired your breasts, then he looked mischievously into your eyes and lowered his gaze again, Chris caught your right breast with his hand, he slightly roughly massaged both breasts with his hand and checked the hardness of your nipples, pinching them and just playing with what is his. You just stood there, firmly standing in front of him, letting him do with you what he wanted, enjoying the process.

Chris was still smiling mischievously and now it was his turn to remove your skirt and panties, getting down on his knees in front of you and once again, doing it slowly and admiring your mons pubis being covered by your underwear until finally taking it off. Needless to say, the obvious excitement in both of your bodies and the thoughts that inhabited both of your minds, lusting for each other. Your core was lubricating itself, throbbing more and more but your undoing was to feel his breath hit the skin of your pubis, where Chris deposited a soft kiss, squeezing your thigh and almost just out of curiosity or habit, he finely ran his fingertip along the length of your tight folds, driving you wild.

He stood up as if it was nothing, calmly taking the bikini and putting it on you seductively, but you noticed that he wasn't so calm at all; heavy breathing and a thick erection accompanied him. You were in a mess wondering how he was going to get rid of the bulge of arousal in his pants, you wondered if he was about to touch you as he put the little garments on you until he finally got you dressed.

You both made eye contact, he licked his lips, letting himself be carried away by you, at this point every muscle in your pussy was throbbing with eagerness and the sensation was unsettling and was only well attended to when Chris did it. So you couldn't stand it a second longer, your whole body was on fire just now and when you were like this you used to act on your own, taking steps that would initiate something with no return and dangerous, just like the first time you met him, when your poor sensitive pussy cried every time you saw him being himself so well, an uneasy feeling that drove you to him, telling him how much you wanted him to fuck you, when you had never even experienced sex. You knew he was so turned on too, so you understood there was only one more thing to do.

You finally reacted, impatient, eager for his hands on you. You reached out to him in a playful way and caressed his arm, feeling his defined muscles and the softness of his skin.

“Daddy…”

You caught his attention in a sweet way that you knew exactly what turned him on so much. You hadn't called him that and that only meant one thing, which carried with it many. You got his attention from the first second you approached him, but your sweet tone of voice calling him something so normal with such sexual undertones made his cock trapped in his pants throb in excitement.

“You're so hard, daddy” you continued, moving your hand from his arm down to his bulge, ”Can I help you?”

Chris bit his lip, indulging in your cute little game of seduction and provocation, nodding softly and leaving the palm of his right hand gently on your cheek.

“You're a good girl for daddy, wanting to help me. Go on, please take care of your daddy, my baby doll.”

His words aroused in you more craving and desire, unbuttoning the button of his pants, admiring the big bulge trapped in it and you managed to pull out his cock, so stiff and detonating for you. You loved every aching inch of him, Chris always knew how to use it on you and make you come all the way to the clouds.

You took his thick length, Chris moaned, his cock was desperate in your hands and you began to masturbate him, pulling on his member, stroking it gently, making you incredibly more horny.

“Is that okay, daddy?”

You looked into his eyes, Chris was struggling internally but he adored his little princess being there for him, servicing him.

“Just like that, my baby girl, you know you're doing excellent for daddy.”

Your soft hands were nothing compared to his, when the nights were lonely and he had to pleasure himself, but it made no sense for Chris to masturbate alone when he had you now, always so ready for him. Your delicate movements over the length of his cock were making him weak, he was being satisfied to perfection. The sound of his moans and skin on skin rubbing flooded his room.

Suddenly his glistening precum came out of his pink, foreplayed tip, making you salivate, making you so thirsty.

“Mm, daddy, can I use my mouth?”

“Please, princess” he whispered, grabbing your face but you quickly rose to your knees.

You kissed his glans, a sonorous soft kiss leaving pearly white stains on your lips which you savored by running your tongue on them to taste of him and finally you caught his throbbing limb with your mouth. You almost reached your orgasm as you felt his rigid shaft on your tongue, Chris was exquisitely delicious, his big cock and sweet personality made him the ideal man, you were so happy that he was the only one to ever touch you.

You stimulated him with care, Chris took hold of your hair gently, letting himself be carried away by the sensations you were provoking in him, while you delicately ran your tongue all over his cock, moistening it and then you sucked him at your pace, enjoying eating him, without him rushing you or pushing you too much. You were looking into his eyes and he would make eye contact with you when he wasn't throwing his head back or closing his eyes in pleasure.

“You're doing so good, baby, so-so good, mmm.”

You blushed at his rough voice, shyly played with his balls and kept taking his cock with your mouth, tongue and lips, enjoying every delicious big inch as if it was your favorite candy and weakening every corner of you, making you clench your legs tightly to feel your sweet wetness as you moved your legs.

His cock throbbed more in your mouth, you felt him so close, you could taste him.

“Open your mouth wide and stick out your tongue, princess.”

You heard him command and you did, pulling his cock out of your mouth in a resounding pop. You were so happy, your restless tongue waiting to receive your Chris's affection. He took the base of his well loaded cock, sucked air between his teeth, frustrated and excited and positioned a part of his cock and glans over your tongue, releasing himself on you, spraying you with every drop of his cum you managed to get out of him.

“Aghhh, good girl, good baby, fuck” Chris blurted out in exasperation, his pumping cock unloading onto your tongue, into your submissive position and your beady little eyes.

You swallowed it all and stood up with little balance. Chris settled his exposed cock and looked at your expression, you were so proud somehow, making him smile.

“Do you want daddy to make you feel better too?” he commented tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

You shook your head. As much as you were so excited, your chest rising and falling in heavy, agitated breathing, you wanted to resist and now relax in his arms and into what he promised to be warm water.

“I'm fine, daddy. Did you like it?”

Chris chuckled. “I loved it, baby.”

You waited for Chris to get ready, leaving him in just shorts. And you kept the mindset of reassuring yourself, despite the sight of his worked abs and pecs.

He led you sweetly to the pool after your moment of adrenaline and rushed uproar of desire and hormones and you finally felt relaxed, every tense muscle from a heavy week was softening, the water felt so good to you, as did Chris's closeness. You couldn't help but cease your thoughts, his muscular body looked so good wet but soon you found yourself distracted by his topic of conversation; you both found yourself there, in the pool alone where you innocently played at innuendo without really thinking about all that some flirting would take you so far, now you were his.

You went back to talking about your little period of stress and Chris immediately offered to help you relax even more, you played with him, saying his attempts were in vain as you would be going back to college tomorrow anyway, he offered to let you stay, that he would take care of all that tomorrow and you he would take care of right now, offering you a gentle but strategic massage on your shoulders, squeezing your skin and pressing his thumbs into your muscles, it felt so good, you really needed some of him, he always knew what to do and more when it came to you.

You were moaning, genuinely from non-sexual pleasure, from relief. But Chris stopped suddenly, leaving you confused. He positioned himself in front of you, and you watched him, he looked like he was about to say something and he had to.

“I know what you meant earlier at the door” he began to speak, you looked at him expectantly and slightly confused, “I want to have you too and this is all so nice to me” Chris sighed, incredulous that he had to say it again in his now over thirty years, but it was worth it to him, because it was you, “I want to be with you. Will you be my girlfriend?”

You smiled suddenly, you expected anything but that, you nodded happily unable to form words and shyly reached out to hug him.

“I know the way you and I…”

You silenced him with a quick kiss, you didn't want to hear him justify the way the two of you met.

“It's okay” you answered him softly.

He smiled at you and caught your lips again, you kissed such sweetly, your bodies wet but losing more and more self control, leading him to hold you tighter from your back and waist and sizzlingly escalating every movement of lips and mouth.

You were making out from one moment to the next, a voracious hunger for each other constant and without thinking about it, you became aroused again, you didn't know what was happening, but it only happened that easy with Chris, just like from the first time you met him.

Chris knew how to read you very well and knew the restlessness in your body, the inner desperation that you suddenly have to be satisfied.

Pulling away, taking a breath and with pink lips, he looked at you tenderly and pouting softly.

“Mmm, are you sure you don't want me to make you cum tonight, baby girl? Make you feel good…”

You looked him straight in the eyes. Your gaze was dark. You were going to fuck him as your boyfriend at least, meaning the feelings were already there and it made your skin bristle with excitement.

“Or… do you want me to make it feel good” he added when he didn't get a response.

Chris acted fast, repositioning himself behind you, massaging your shoulders but you could tell the sexual and sensual connotation in his act, squeezing your skin and moments later he slid his hands down to your breasts, massaging them gently over the fabric of your garment. You turned your head to look at him, he was so close to you.

“Does that feel good?” he whispered to you.

“Yes…”

You were starting to lose yourself, you didn't even have to answer him, he already knew how you were right now. The sensation of your excited sex in the water felt so different. Chris positioned his face to the side of yours, watching as more and more of you let yourself go. He dared to pull up the little garment, leaving your breasts exposed to finally play with them freely, with his hand, kneading them vigorously to his liking, playing with the firmness of your nipple so sensitive to stimulation. You saw his big hands on your breasts, the bracelets on his wrists and his slender, manly fingers, squeezing your skin tightly; you were hopelessly horny again and wanted to have him right there.

You turned abruptly, again looking into his eyes, pleading for him to be the one to make you see stars this time, beyond the beautiful starry night you were living in.

“Chris… daddy…”

You were so excited, you weren't thinking straight, about to fuck him in the pool even though it didn't seem so appetizing for your taste, as the water would interrupt the deep lunges that your, now boyfriend, always used to give you. You looked so tender for him, helpless with your bikini top rolled up revealing your breasts.

“You can call me whatever you want, baby, just always remember to call me.”

Chris kissed you again, this time with your exposed breasts messily and shamelessly rubbing on his abs. He wanted to take you right there, but he knew that sex in the pool was such a desperate thing and he could make you feel so much better already out of it.

As he pulled away, he slid down from your top, smiling sweetly at you.

“Come on, let's go inside.”

You didn't think fast enough, the heat was taking over you, but you followed him, Chris sweetly wrapped your body in a towel as you felt the cold hit your body. He was so cute, the fact that you were so needy made you a little shy.

And finally, you were back inside. Chris frolicked with you, taking the towel and drying your hair and body delicately in little giggles. You said nothing and just let him do it. In the end you saw him embarrassed but happy. He looked at you tenderly.

“Aw, my sweet girl, come here.”

Chris was lost in you. He didn't know how, he did know when, but it happened, something he had never thought of as loving someone significantly younger to him seriously, he knew there would be some differences in the two of you, but he would manage to improve them over time. The next thing you felt was his lips and the loss of strength from holding your towel. Both towels on the floor, lips and bodies pressed together, your arms on his shoulders and your back against the wall, you were teasing each other again.

Your heart pounded, your bottom tingled in excitement and your mind was enjoying and processing that all these little moments with him would now henceforth be so natural for the two of you.

Chris lowered his caresses down to your ass, which he held and carried you from there without difficulty, making you wrap your legs around his torso and carried you up to his room.

He took care of everything, moving your dress and bag to a sofa in the room still with you in his arms, he left you lying gently on the bed, still with his body on top of you, not letting you think of anything else because he was already passionately kissing you again and the caresses of his right hand went down to your sensitive spot, pulling aside the thick fabric of the bathing suit to caress and stimulate your clit.

You felt that electric shock that only he could do, of being touched again. You were getting wetter, you felt the softness of your own wetness prepare your entrance and on the other hand, Chris was so hard again, he was so hard since he felt the softness of your young skin molding in his hands, from your sweet kisses of which he could have no end, so he continued to caress you, playing with the rhythm, making it slow, increasing the speed and treating your sensitive spot hard, pinching and pressing it, as he wanted to have you even needier.

His kisses lowered and you could moan at not having his lips against yours, this time being slightly moist, from your jaw to your neck, Chris was on the edge, so excited and ready to use his cock but he wanted to have you begging for it, so ready to finally feel it inside. You adored the feel of his soft lips on your neck, kissing, licking and nibbling lightly, not significantly intense enough to leave a mark but just to feel your skin, while his fingers finely work down into you, exciting you exquisitely. His kisses continued down until he reached your abdomen and his soft hair brushed against your skin, his lips and nose rubbing against you, finally finding his way to your much needed area that he kept stimulating. Chris smiled, pulling his hand away from you so he could remove your swimsuit bottoms that prevented him from fully seeing your swollen pussy begging for him.

You tensed, you were so nervous, but they were good nerves, you thought to yourself that every time his face came near your center it meant he was about to perform a series of moves that would leave you quivering and breathless, he was about to eat you, and you were absolutely right, Chris licked his lips at the image of your exposed pussy, he parted your legs so he could position himself in between them and squeezed your left thigh with his hand while he took it upon himself to give you kisses on the inside of your thighs. Then he kissed around the area of your pussy, teasing you to finally separate your folds and vagina completely with both of his hands, stretching it and giving it a dirty, hot and loud kiss, using the movement of his lips, daring to use his tongue as well, covering from the outside of your wet entrance and the inside of your vulva; you gasped and twitched a little at the sensation of his warm mouth on your sensitive genital area, Chris made a giggling sound over your pussy, knowing he had you like this filled him with pure pleasure.

Finally, his mouth moved up, caressing the rest of your vulva to reach your clit, tasting it with his tongue and sucking it using its cavity completely, this time you trembled before him and let out a ragged sigh, Chris was doing it again, knowing exactly what to do, even though you were not the most expert at sex, you were very sure that the gentle way he ate your pussy was so ideal and right. His long fingers caressed the rest of your pussy and he made eye contact with you as he sucked on your sensitive spot, worshipping you from that angle, his upper lips glued to the skin of your pubis, his tongue lost in your playfully soft clit. Chris played with your entrance, teasing it with two of his fingers, circling it over your entrance and dipping them in shallowly and gently, taking you to the extreme of your arousal. You stroked his hair and suddenly he was lost in your anatomy, lowering his mouth and licking everything from you, sucking your labia and giving you the pleasure that was slowly blurring your vision. His lips were full, his tongue thick and slick and his teeth strong and sharp making you come closer and closer to your orgasm as he continued to stimulate you with his fingers thrusting them into you gently, taking you deep and exploring your insides, then thrusting in and out, ramming them in a dynamic that made you come closer and closer to your climax. Chris loved your moans, your desperate high pitched cries as his fingers feasted on your slippery tight insides and his mouth on your taste, he was in complete control of you, you were being fully satisfied, so close to your orgasm that Chris could tell, so he pulled his mouth away from you, kept penetrating you with his fingers, more and more intensely until he heard your inevitable mess of fluids collide with his digits. He stood up a little, smirking smugly and quickly wiping his stained mouth on you with the back of his free hand.

“You're so close, baby, huh?”

Chris said in a low tone and watched you expectantly, your body never ceasing to move slightly writhing in pleasure. You nodded awkwardly, saw his handsome face amidst your blurred vision filled with pleasure, you were so close, Chris knew it and only roughly lifted your bikini top to expose your breasts again and massage them again. You bit your lip in desperation feeling you were being loud enough, his veiny arm buried in his core looked so good, you were cumming, but unexpectedly Chris abruptly pulled his fingers away from you, making you gasp.

“Don't cum yet, sweetheart” he whispered close to your face, “Cum with daddy's cock inside you.”

You were shaken, confused and you saw how quickly Chris slipped down his shorts and boxers, freeing his notorious cock, took it again and positioned himself over you, gently stroking his hard member over your wet pussy and then rubbing it into your folds.

“You want me to fuck you, huh, my sweet girl?” he said demanding, looking at you as if you were helpless.

Your heart was about to pound out of your chest, the feel of his cock in your vulva was torturing you, both sexes throbbing and eager.

“Yes, daddy please” you tried not to sound so needy, but you wanted him to fill you up completely, to make you climax.

Chris licked his lips and teased your entrance, slowly inserting the tip of his penis. You squealed in pleasure, even his tip was stretching your orifice, he continued to tease you, gently ramming inside you with just his glans and little more few inches of his cock.

“Chris, p-please” you begged.

He smiled, satisfied with your soft pleas, he settled his body better as he pushed himself into you slowly, stretching open your entrance and walls, making you whimper, his pumping, rigid cock once again reaching deep inside you. Chris sucked air between his teeth and then moaned between relieved and frustrated, relieved to be inside you, frustrated that you were still so tight and making him feel pleasantly dizzy, blinded in pleasure.

Chris began to move in you, his strong body on top of yours, his cock magically tearing your insides apart, sliding up and down your walls, you were feeling orgasm close again, you were so close anyway before, he began to pant near your ear, enjoying being deep in you, moving your body with each rough, hard pounding thrust he gave you. He began to babble, loving how you felt for him and you whimpered and squealed in pleasure, feeling all of you so full. Chris took your left hand that was clenching his sheet tightly and intertwined it tightly with yours, never stopping ramming you, starting slow, deep and passionately and increasing the pace more and more. Your other hand dug into his back enjoying every thrust into you, he was so deep in you that the skin of his pubis rubbed into you gently.

“Aw, baby, you feel so fucking good.”

He was intoxicated in you, your walls squeezed him tighter in search of your orgasm, you whimpered his name as his hair brushed your cheek. You arched your back in search of your release, the knot in your stomach combined with the bulge of his cock were unreal, he was practically tearing your body apart in such a pleasurable way.

“Cum, baby doll, cum for me” he gasped, leaning in to see your pleasure filled expression.

You climaxed after he began to ram into you bestially, you cum with his exposed cock inside and he continued arduously with deep but gentle thrusts into you until he reached his orgasm inside you, spilling every drop of his cum inside you. Chris sighed in relief, slowly pulling his cock out to let it rest on your mons pubis, his cock so wet and used as he watched his mark on you, his cum dripping down your used center. You were both exhausted and full of pleasure.

“Aw, my pretty baby, do you like it when daddy fills you all up?”

You couldn't deny it, you did love the feeling of him filling you with it, of his thick white cum sliding down your hole as a sign that he was there, taking care of you.

[...]

You had one more problem, just when you were completely forgetting your guilt after an incredible night with Chris, your father sent you a message reminding you that it was Dahlia's birthday party exactly the next day, he had been reminding you but you ignored every single one of his messages since he opposed the idea of you being with Chris and asked you all the time about your whereabouts.

You didn't want to go, you didn't feel welcome. But you ended up doing it, sadly canceling on Chris whatever he had planned to hang out with you and you were honest with him, telling him you had to hang out with your dad since it was Dahlia's birthday. You weren't cynical enough not to go or stay away from her as she was nothing but merely sweet and cute to you, she liked you well enough, your mother liked her and your father loved her; you met her when you were already grown up in your teens and she sweetly introduced herself to you saying that you can call her by her name and that she did not pretend at any time to occupy the role of your mother, but that she would love and appreciate you as enormously and purely as one, since then she always remembers your birthdays, events and important dates, she always gives you gifts at Christmas and a nice detail on Valentine's Day, you were so weak as to cut ties with her for something that shouldn't be the biggest problem, you were dating someone, you wanted to be with him and go out, you didn't understand the problem in that, you just wanted everyone to forget the little detail of how it was that you met.

Plus you always made a little room for important dates like birthdays, your dad would pick you up from college and you would stay the weekend at his house.

You could have broken tradition, lying that you really couldn't because you had too much work to do with college but you also didn't want to be the kind of woman who had to hide and stay away from her family for a man. You had nothing to hide, you were now Chris's girlfriend, no big deal.

You put your pride on high, you told your father that you could go on your own to his house, which confused him and you dared to tell him that Chris would come to drop you off, he was stunned at the call, wanting to refuse but agreed in a low voice, as if he didn't want to be heard, and you understood that the side where they were more opposed to your relationship was more from Chris' ex-girlfriend's family, because you recognized your father's tone so well, almost as if he didn't take the great importance to the subject.

And then you got out of Chris's car, after he worriedly told you if you were sure about going, to which you nodded decisively, saying goodbye to him in a long kiss, carrying the luxurious medium-sized carry-on suitcase he had given you along with some clothes. But your surprise was when you opened the door and had to see in front of you the woman who had also once tested your now boyfriend.

She was the last person you wanted to see just now, you thought you had to confront her until dinner tonight, that you could peacefully get home, further convincing your father of the good man Chris was... but your plans were disappearing one by one as you saw her unfriendly face.

This was not your kind of weekend.

-------------------------

𐙚TAGLIST: @rylea08 @hann1bee @iovecb97 @armystay89 @bubblebisk @lolareadsimagines @jisuperboard @lilac13 @ayyonoona @do-you-remember-summer-127 @wildtokay @korthbum @hyune-ssne

[houseofceline]

My Pretty Girl - T.N.

Pretty Bow Cardigan

Pairing: Ravenclaw and sort of ditzy but talented Reader x Slytherin notorious playboy Theodore Nott

Warnings: None (yet ;))

Summary: Theo hates listening to rants but he could listen to you talk about your sweater for hours.

< 4

__________________

You nibbled on your bottom lip as you looked around the classroom. 

You were one of the first to finish your exams which is very unusual, resulting in an uneasy feeling in your stomach. You felt like you had done all the problems wrong. 

The test felt really easy in the worst way possible. 

You watched as Theo stood up from his stool to hand in his paper. 

He was better than you in potions and the fact that you had finished before him made you want to vomit up your breakfast. 

As he walked back to his desk you locked eyes with him. 

He took his hands and did a thumbs up and down, as a question to you. 

You tilted your thumbs up till it was in the middle. 

So,so. 

He smiled and even though there was nothing to smile about considering you probably just failed another test, you smiled back anyways because his smile was just that contagious. 

There was nothing you could do now but hope. 

—-------------------

“THEO THEO!” You ran after him after catching sight of him in the hallways. 

Theo looked around confused, tense even, but instantly relaxed as he saw you running towards him with a paper in hand. 

His smile matched the big bright one on your face and he held his arms out. 

You ran into his chest and in the heat of the moment he picked you up and spun you around. 

“Bro wh-” Lorenzo was cut off by Mattheo who covered the boy’s mouth before dragging him away, letting the two have their moment. 

“Look Theo, look!” You exclaimed as you held up your test paper, waving it in his face. 

A big E marked on the top right corner, the best test grade you’ve ever received in that class. 

“Congratulations bella,” he praised and reciprocated your smile as he took the paper from your hands before holding it out like he was examining it. 

You blushed at his compliment now getting shy. All you wanted to do now was go back into his arms and hide in his chest so he wouldn’t catch you getting all worked up over a simple praise. 

“This deserves a special reward,” Theo stated as he handed you back your paper and patted your head. 

He pushed one of your hair strands out of your face and looked down at you. 

“There’s a hot chocolate shop in Hogsmeade, if you’re up for it this weekend,” Theo placed his hands in the pockets of his robe, feeling a little nervous for your answer.

You nodded eagerly. You loved chocolate. The rich and creamy taste and the way it just melts in your mouth. Not only was it good in candy form, but literally in everything else. Well besides cake. Chocolate cake is one of the worst things ever. 

It was simply too much chocolate and it tastes so dry and makes you want to throw up. 

However vanilla cake with chocolate icing, that you would die for. 

“Alright I’ll come get you Saturday morning at ten,” Theo chuckled trying to bring you back to him as he watched you get lost in thought. 

“See you soon bella.” 

You grinned happily to yourself as he walked away. 

Saturday. That was tomorrow! 

What were you even going to wear? There’s not enough time, there is nothing in your closet. 

You had to calm down. It wasn’t even a date, you reminded yourself.

Getting all worked up over a simple hang out was silly. 

You took a deep breath and tried to calm your nerves.

Too bad it’s not working. 

You’re hanging out with a super attractive guy all by yourself. 

You were scared and nervous, never hung out with a guy alone before. 

At least you were getting hot chocolate out of this. 

Hmm you wonder if they have whipped cream. You didn’t like any marshmallows in your hot chocolate because you drank it so fast the marshmallows wouldn’t even melt all the way therefore it was too sweet when you ate the half melted marshmallow at the end.

All you needed was whipped cream and a candy cane. 

—-------------------

“Y/n you’re going to be fine. You look amazing,” Cho assured, sitting on her bed as you tried on multiple pieces of clothing. 

You had 10 more minutes until Theo’s arrival and technically you were ready 30 minutes ago but suddenly you decided that you didn’t look nice anymore. 

“I don’t think I knitted this correctly,” you frowned, examining your cardigan. 

A miniature mistake. You would have to really, really pay attention to detail to recognize it, but since you were already critiquing everything miniature about yourself, it was a huge mistake. 

“Theo is not going to notice it babe I promise, and plus you made the whole thing yourself! In my eyes that’s really impressive,” Cho claimed as she walked out of the dorm to check if Theo was here yet. 

You eyed yourself in the mirror one last time. 

White knitted cardigan with a bow in the back, black jeans, and your favorite white fur snow boots. 

This wasn’t even a date, you reminded yourself for the hundredth time this past hour. 

Stop overthinking. 

“Theo’s here,” Cho peeked her head into the dorm. 

“Good luck babes, I expect a big debriefing session after,” she called out to you as you left.

“Hello..” you drawled out quietly waving as you approached Theo. 

He was wearing a navy blue sweater with the Slytherin scarf wrapped around his neck which put great emphasis on his eyes and broad shoulders. 

“Morning bella,” Theo greeted happily, holding out a hand to you. 

You cheesed and placed your hand into his.

“Do a spin for me bella ragazza,” he lifted your hand up and eyed you up and down as you spun around.

Even if it was an Italian word you didn’t know Theo still made it sound attractive, maybe you shouldn’t have worn a sweater from the quick rising of your body heat.

“Cute cardigan,” he complimented as he kept your hands intertwined, beginning your walk to Hogsmeade. 

“Thank you! I made it myself!” You looked up at him proudly while your other hand was toying with the hems. 

Theo could’ve swore that your eyes were the sparkliest things he’s ever seen. He felt as if could spend forever studying and mapping out the constellations in your eyes. 

“Really?” Theo gaped even though it wasn’t a huge surprise to him since he’s seen your sketches. 

“Yes!” You exclaimed happily knowing that there was finally someone other than your friends who cared about your passions and supported them. 

The two of you continued to walk hand in hand towards Hogsmeade. You talked and rambled on about the whole design process of your top while Theo pretended like he knew what you were talking about and definitely not just trying to make you talk more so he could hear your voice and watch your eyes sparkle with passion.

[ikeuverse]

criminal love | psh

pairing: killer!sunghoon x rich!fem!reader genres: angst, smut, maybe fluff wc: 4.6k+

꒰ 𝅄 warnings ꒱ : weapons, drink, drugs, swearing. mention and execution of murder, blood, fights (physical and verbal). unprotected sex (the details of the sex parts i'll add as i post the chapters), but there are more than two, for sure. lmk if i forgot anything else.

꒰ 𝅄 synopsis ꒱ : paid to kill people, sunghoon finds himself in the biggest dilemma of his life. getting paid the most money his profession has ever given him to kill a woman. but he can't do it because it goes beyond his principles, who has never laid a finger on a woman. what will he do when the twist is right in front of his eyes?

꒰ 𝅄 notes ꒱ : i had this initial idea for jay, but i don't know why i thought i'd write it for sunghoon. i've modified a few things and i'm thinking of making it a story with a few chapters. i hope you like it!

TAGLIST: i don't know if i'll do it, but…

꒰ 𝅄 masterlist | prologue | part 1 | part 2 [...] ꒱

None of this was new to Park Sunghoon. The eyes stared at him in fear, shining with a pair of panicked features as they begged for their lives. His index finger against the trigger of the gun before he asked to speak his last words and then fired. Seeing the body slowly collapse in front of you, the eyes losing life and the blood dripping through the fabric of the clothes and onto the floor. This was a very familiar scenario, even more so as a hitman.

If anyone ever asked him why he lived this life, the answer would come quickly: easy money.

Sunghoon got used to being on the streets in search of a job to maintain his almost miserable life after the death of his parents. His grandfather, an alcoholic who barely stayed at home, was the only living relative he had. And the only person who could give him a roof over his head at fifteen.

Wandering the streets in search of something solid led Sunghoon to meet all sorts of people and ways of making ends meet. He worked with a bit of everything until he found the job he had settled into today. It was through Jake, one of the first people he befriended, that he learned what it was like to kill for money. His friend's father had a scheme and paid him well enough to eat, dress, and live in his grandfather's house, which he barely saw.

Jake and his father became a family to Sunghoon, even if it was in the worst of environments, but it was the only thing he could get close to that bordered on a good feeling. The boy couldn't call it love because he'd never heard it from any of his friends, although they could say that they respected and cared for each other, but love, for Sunghoon, was too strong.

Who would say about love when, in fact, he was hired to kill? Often people from his own family and for financial reasons. So how could he believe that love existed when his job showed otherwise? Of course, everyone had family problems… Look at him! Sunghoon wasn't the greatest example of this, but come on, he would never have his grandfather or anyone else killed in his own home. It was bizarre, but unfortunately, that's what he dealt with most of the time. And that's what filled his pocket and made him change his life.

Moving into his apartment after his grandfather died, having more contact with Jake and his father about the business, and even getting on a bit more when things started to expand. This was all thanks to Sunghoon's skill and eye for instigating Jake's father to think bigger. It was risky for him to try to suggest that they think big, such as killing some CEO in debt or someone high up.

You've got to be crazy, he heard Jake mutter once, at an informal meeting they had after a successful case. Sunghoon could be crazy, but when it came down to it and money, the highest cases paid well. And that's what he asked Jake's father about until they had their first diplomat client. The amount to be paid was so high that they had never thought of having it in their bank accounts.

"We need to kill about four people to get that" Jake muttered after looking at the amount. A sigh left his father's lips before he agreed.

And so began the great social affair between Jake and Sunghoon – along with Jake's father – for bigger cases with fat sums in their money accounts.

It was dangerous, but Sunghoon lived for it. He didn't have anyone else, he didn't have anything to think about except his well-being and how he could have what he wanted more peacefully after living in poverty for years. He didn't want to go through the insecurity of not having anything to eat, or having to wander the streets looking for something to do or somewhere to stay so that he wouldn't have to be alone in a house where he didn't know who would come back. But now, in his apartment, he shared the peace of knowing that everything was his. Every little thing in there had been earned by him, even if the money wasn't in the cleanest way, but someone had to do that kind of work.

And it wasn't as if Sunghoon would kill just anyone either, he had strict criteria about this that he made very clear to Jake and his father before things got as strong as they are today. Like killing people who had only done some kind of harm to those who had asked for it. Like women who had been beaten by their husbands, or someone in particular who had physically or mentally hurt whoever was hiring the service. Or that person posed a risk to the society in question and they knew that no authority would do anything about it. So they did. And the most important thing of all was that under no circumstances would Sunghoon lay a hand on a woman.

But the universe seemed to play tricks on him that morning, arriving at the office and seeing Jake's eyes light up. It would be pointless to ask why, considering that he was one of the first to receive clients and their proposals, so someone had probably come to Jake to talk to him and give him a huge sum of money.

"Dude, I think we're rich" he threw himself into the leather chair that initially belonged to his father. But as long as the older man didn't arrive at the office, Jake took possession of it until that happened.

"What do you mean?" Sunghoon held back a laugh as he walked a little further into the office, throwing his body into the small armchair opposite the desk Jake was sitting at "A client with good money?"

"Better than that" he sighed, throwing his head back "This client wants to hire our services for two people, but the price is—"

"Jake, spit it out" Sunghoon said quickly.

"Bro, she'll pay two million" he looked directly at Sunghoon. That amount would cheer the boy up if he hadn't heard it before, or even been paid for it "For each of us, and for each of the two people we're going to kill."

Wait, that was new to Sunghoon. Two million for each of them, totaling two people to kill, so… Four million for him, and four million for Jake?

"Man, that's…"

"Insane, I know" Jake interrupted him as if he already knew what his friend was going to say. But something seemed a little off because he didn't have that much energy to say that amount. Normally Jake would have been bouncing around the room literally like a child, totally losing his hitman pose as he commented on the four million that would be playing around in his bank account for the next few weeks.

"What's wrong?" Sunghoon asked at once, noticing the change in his friend's mood as the seconds passed. Jake now looked a little uncomfortable in his father's chair and shifted his body a few times to try to find a comfortable position, opting to lean his elbows on the table and tilt his body a little.

"You know it's four million each, right?" he asked, watching Sunghoon agree "And that the percentage we give my father on each client is very small because, well, he already has a lot of money…"

"Speak up, man. You're stalling on something." Sunghoon wasn't out of patience, but he knew that Jake tended to talk too much when he was nervous. What could have happened to make him like this?

Jake nodded in agreement and continued to lean on the table, leaning towards Sunghoon, who settled into the armchair and imitated his friend's position on the other side. Leaning his elbows on the table and looking at the boy in front of him, who was now looking at his hands.

"A woman wants us to kill her brother and…" Jake slowly closed his eyes "Her niece."

Sunghoon felt a ringing in his ear and then his whole body tensed up. He couldn't explain why he had that reaction, but just mentioning that there was a woman for him to kill made everything seem completely out of place to him.

"You're kidding me, right?" Sunghoon asked.

"I really wanted to, man, I swear" he whined, watching Sunghoon's withdrawal appear little by little as he slid his arms off the table and leaned back in the armchair.

"And what did those two do to make her want to kill two people at once?"

"I don't know" Jake shrugged. "She hasn't told me yet, she's arranged a meeting and my father wants to go along. It's too high…"

"You two do it" he stood up, walking to the middle of the room before he heard Jake calling after him. Without turning around, Sunghoon closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He waited a few seconds before finally turning to his friend.

"I can't do this without you, bro. You know we've been working together forever" Jake began.

"But what are my conditions?" Sunghoon asked, and for a moment he saw a glimmer of regret in Jake's eyes. For mentioning or even thinking that his friend might do this kind of thing. Maybe the money had messed with his head a bit and he wouldn't deny it, but Jake knew Sunghoon well enough, he just wanted to try until he couldn't anymore. Even though he knew it would come to nothing because Sunghoon would never accept.

Silence was Jake's way of responding, not knowing exactly what to say because he knew Sunghoon's terms well. Everyone was aware and in agreement, so why change their minds at that moment?

"I just need your help, then" he said after some quiet time.

"I'm not putting my hands on either of you, be warned," Sunghoon said, a little angry about the whole situation until he saw Jake nod silently, implying that he had nothing more to say.

Then, as if on cue, he left the room and walked around the building in search of something to clear his mind of what had just happened. It was an unimaginable amount for him, but Sunghoon wouldn't go against his principles for it.

For the first time, he had refused something that Jake had asked of him. And he felt immensely awkward about it.

You could feel the migraine invading you little by little. The side of your head ached like never before, while your eyes stung and you tried your best to pay attention to people and their words of condolence.

It had been a week since your grandfather's death, and the only sincere tears you had seen – apart from your own – were those of your uncle. He was the closest thing to real family you had after your father's death a year ago. Having him around was comforting, especially as your family was driven by money and scandal. Everything revolved around social and financial status. Your grandfather's company was the focal point of all that arrogance in the family members.

But now, with his death and the will read, you had to assimilate that the only beneficiaries were you and your uncle, the one who was still crying over his father's death and trying to understand how it had all happened. And then there was him, a well-groomed gentleman who eschewed the stereotype of the rich old man and business owner who walked around with a glass of whisky in his hand. On the death certificate, his grandfather had died of cirrhosis, but you were surprised. Even though he wasn't a health professional, you could assume that this would be different, to say the least, since the old man had never drunk a drop of alcohol.

“This is terrible for your health” he once said. “Try never to drink more than necessary. And at parties, I promise to serve you the best natural juice.”

Those words always lingered in your mind because your grandfather was serious, in his own right, but he was very loving. You became so attached to him that you took an interest in the affairs of your grandfather’s company with a genuine gesture of helping him, which he appreciated.

Maybe that was what had made him put your name on that paper, inheriting half of the family fortune. While your uncle got the other half.

Millions and millions, or should say billions? It was so much money that you swore you would die and the amount would continue to yield in your account even though you used it almost every day. That was why you knew that some people who had always been there for your grandfather’s money were now furious because they couldn’t enjoy a single cent of it.

“We are so sorry for the loss of your father, Yvone” someone’s voice took you out of your thoughts, making your eyes dart around the people around you. A well-dressed woman with a tired expression was greeting your aunt. She didn’t have a trace of sadness on her face. That stranger seemed sadder than your aunt over the loss of her father.

“I’m sure you are too” she tried to fake a sad voice that you recognized from afar. Your stomach almost churned as she hugged the other woman.

Suddenly, your embarrassment became even greater, because your aunt's gaze was immediately on you. She seemed angry, with something bad inside her that immediately wanted to be directed at you. Your gaze soon turned away from her to try to find your uncle who was desolate.

Your steps through the environment were fast and precise, the sound of leather shoes against the devastated floor was inhibited by the sound of other people's voices and laments. You weren't running, but the things inside your body said very well that you seemed to be in a hurry.

Your eyes quickly spotted your uncle a little further away, sitting on a bench alone outside. You walked a little calmer towards him until you sat next to the man. He didn't need to look up to know that the only person with compassion in that family was you.

"I wish this nightmare would end" he said quietly, a sob breaking out of his voice when your uncle raised his head and continued to look ahead.

"I still can't believe it" you sighed. Your eyes are locked on the events in front of you. Some people were coming and going from your grandfather's mansion with small flowers in their hands or pieces of paper, like written notes of thanks. Of course, he wouldn't read them, he was dead. But it was a way of thanking everyone he knew, and the reading would be up to you and your uncle. The only ones who cared about the sentimental side of things.

"Do you think Yvone hates us now?" your uncle asked, finally looking at you. His eyes looked like they were going to pop out of their sockets and bloodshot from his eyeballs, they were so red. You swallowed a sigh and just nodded.

"For the reading of Grandpa's will? Of course" you laughed humorlessly, listening to him accompany you.

As if summoning a haunting, just saying her name out loud made your aunt's figure appear in the doorway of the mansion. She welcomed people by trying to look sad or convincing whoever was arriving. Her eyes quickly fell on you and your uncle, further away from the house and sitting on a secluded bench. She didn't show any reaction but took her cell phone out of her pocket to do something you didn't even care about. Her attention was on the man next to her.

“I can’t be happy knowing that my father left all this for me and you” he ran his hands through his hair, almost pulling it out if it weren’t for your hands stopping him. You held one of his hands and kept it in your lap.

“It’s okay uncle, I’m not happy about this either” you said. “Money won’t erase anything that’s happening to the two of us, you know that.”

Of course, he knew. You and your uncle could sometimes say that you were born into the wrong family because you were the only ones who didn’t count on money. Even though you knew that your whole life revolved around it. Even though every interaction you had since the day you were born was driven by money. It wasn’t your fault for being born into a family like that, but you could deal with it and think about how you spent what you had.

“How about you come in and get a drink? I bet you’re thirsty” your uncle said quietly, making you look at him after some time of contemplation while still watching people entering and leaving the mansion.

“I think I’ll go in a little while, I want to stay here a little longer” you smiled sadly at the man as he stood up and just waved in your direction. Just as you knew when he wanted some time alone, your uncle was also able to understand when you needed it.

Leaving him and going back into the mansion, you saw him disappear among the little people who had now gone inside the house. You remained there, looking around that immense land that your grandfather owned. One of them, to be more exact. You remember playing with your uncle and your father to guess which was the largest land your grandfather had in his name. Of course, the two older men always let you win, even though it was a rather unfunny game. But it was one of the few moments when the three of you were together, aware of the money you had and trying to make good use of it.

Your body slowly shrank with a small gust of wind, indicating that the weather was changing from sunny to something colder and almost rainy. You looked up at the sky, noticing the clouds beginning to darken. Rain was the last thing you wanted, but maybe you needed it. To wash away all that heaviness you've felt since your grandfather died. Rain could help wash away the dirt that remained beneath your feet and wash away all the bad feelings and burdens you would face in the days to come.

The decision to go back inside wasn't so difficult as your body shrank a little more, curses spilling from your lips as you missed a coat or a blanket that could cover your arms. Just a tank top and silk pants weren't a suitable outfit for the moment, but it was the first thing you could think of to wear when your aunt summoned the whole family to pay homage to your grandfather at his mansion.

You got up from the bench and stretched your whole body, trying to shake off some of the day's exhaustion and thinking about how you wanted to go back to your apartment and take a shower. Get all those sticky, fake hugs off your body. Those words buzzing around in your head lamenting what had happened. No one there really cared, so you at least paid attention to the fake tears in front of you.

You walked in slow steps to the front door, trying to avoid walking in with anyone who might greet you. You didn't want to talk to anyone anymore, just to be there long enough to leave. But your steps were quickly stopped.

Feeling a hand around your waist, you looked up to find your aunt standing in the doorway just as something covered your mouth. It all happened too quickly. Your vision began to blur as you struggled against a body that seemed much bigger than yours. Your hands were useless at grabbing any kind of skin to scratch because the arms holding you were covered.

You don't remember much, but the only thing that didn't leave your mind before passing out was the cynical smile of the woman right in front of you.

“What did she ask for?” Sunghoon was exasperated, pacing back and forth as he looked at your unconscious body on the other side of the room.

“To torture her and get a video of her saying she wants to pass everything on to her aunt…” Jake began.

“First of all, I never agreed to this” he interrupted his friend, controlling himself as much as possible so as not to scream and wake you up. They had just taken off the masks and all the equipment when they laid you down on the small mattress with almost no foam.

“My dad just asked you to help me bring her in, I know.” Jake sighed. “I don’t want to do this either, but—”

“Dude, listen” Sunghoon looked at him. “We can deny this and say fuck you to those four million. Seriously, there’s no way we can continue.”

The desperation in his voice was completely real, Jake could feel it. He was also desperate about all of this, although it wasn’t something new for either of them. But the cruelty in how his aunt was making requests of them without even knowing them or having finished the job. How demanding she was and how she wanted everything to be done as quickly as possible. Sunghoon never had bad feelings about his work, he just went there and killed whoever was necessary. But as soon as he looked at his aunt through the gap in the mask and noticed her smile, the way she behaved in front of the people who were entering the house, without even noticing that he and Jake were carrying her to a black car with no license plate.

He didn't know what he was doing, he didn't know why he had accepted all of that. Sunghoon was breaking one of his biggest rules and all because of money? Four million wouldn't pay for his principles even if his job was one of the worst possible. He already had too much blood on his hands, but that didn't matter when you had a woman unconscious and almost ready to be killed by Jake.

Arguing with Mr. Sim was out of the question, he had already tried since he received the offer and saw the man's eyes light up at the amount. Even though he knew that Sunghoon's biggest criteria were at stake.

"If you're not going to kill her, at least help Jake bring her here" was the only thing he said after finishing the little discussion he had started. He couldn't win this one, he couldn't deny something that he had at least managed to keep going.

Now here he was, pacing back and forth and going over what your aunt wanted Jake to do to you.

For one lousy moment, Sunghoon felt a twinge of regret and compassion for you. Your calm countenance while you were unconscious and the way you seemed harmless, something clicked in his mind telling him that you weren't as bad as the woman said you were. Maybe she'd done the worst kind of propaganda just to make you look bad enough for them to kill you.

"Sunghoon, hey" Jake called out quickly, taking off his black glove and throwing it on the table "What are we going to do?"

"I already told you," Sunghoon sighed once again, stopping walking and feeling his throat irritated because he had already shouted at Jake the whole way "Let's give up that four million, it's not worth it."

"Is that all I'm worth?"

Sunghoon looked in Jake's direction and they both froze. Eyes wide, breathing almost labored as they searched for something to cover their faces. But it was too late. As soon as Sunghoon crossed the room and focused on you, there you were. You were sitting with your back against the wall, your hands tied by the ribbons perched perfectly on your lap. Your hair was completely messed up, but he could still see every detail of your face. How, even so, you looked very beautiful.

"Shit" Jake cursed softly, turning away while Sunghoon stood there staring at him. He felt his friend pull him a few times so that you wouldn't stare so hard at his face that you wouldn't recognize him if something went wrong. But Sunghoon simply couldn't move.

"It's okay, I've seen you. I've been awake for a few minutes" your voice was hoarse, perhaps from lack of use, and because you tried to scream before Sunghoon put the cloth over your mouth to force you to faint.

Jake hesitated to turn around but did so when he saw that his friend wasn't moving at all.

"If you say anything—" Sunghoon made Jake look like he was speaking rudely when he landed a weak punch on his arm. He didn't know why he was defending you like that, not least because that was Jake's role, to be rude at first and gradually hurt whoever was in front of them.

Knowing this, Sunghoon already sensed that he would start being rude until Jake's hands were on you to hurt you. And he didn't want that.

"What did you hear?" Sunghoon addressed you for the first time. His eyes still glazed over at your completely weak and staggering figure in front of him.

He noticed that your eyes were bright, maybe watery, and if you blinked a little more, tears would fall like waterfalls. He was already weak just knowing that he had done this to you, seeing you cry would do what to him? Sunghoon didn't want to know. That case was getting too emotional.

"Just the four million part" you moaned a little in pain as you moved and felt your back crack. That mattress was terrible and you assumed you'd been on it for a long time, but it wasn't important. Your mind was elsewhere and on how you were here, so before you could even think of anything, you asked "It was her, wasn't it?"

"Her who?" Sunghoon and Jake asked at the same time.

For a long minute, you were quiet, just thinking about the little interactions you had with the woman who was supposed to have done this to you. Your heart ached, that wasn't possible. You never thought she could do that.

"My aunt told you two to kill me," you tried to keep your voice steady, "did I?"

It was the turn of the two boys to be silent right in front of you. Jake moistened his lips and tried to find the words to answer you, pondering whether or not to be rude to you. Not least because he didn't want to be punched again by Sunghoon. He swallowed dryly and looked away a few times, wondering whether or not to tell the truth.

"I triple it."

"What?" Jake raised his voice, echoing throughout the room as he looked in your direction and then at Sunghoon.

"I say I'll triple that amount" you moved again, trying to find a more comfortable position on that shitty mattress that was making all your muscles ache "If you don't kill me."

Jake laughed. Nervously, perhaps, but he tried to look a little more cool as he walked towards you and bent down right in front of you. Knees bent enough to bring him close to your face. If you were in the best condition, you could lift your leg and kick him in the knee, only to stagger and fall backward. But you just wanted answers.

"Do you think we're open to negotiations, princess?" he shifted his gaze between your eyes and your mouth but remained in your gaze, which was still sparkling. Jake didn't want to seem arrogant, but that's how he'd been taught.

That's how he learned to deal with that kind of situation, listening to everything and every possible appeal before doing his job. But he never received a counter-proposal, especially one as high as that.

"I don't think you'll even get paid that four million, actually" you looked at him, your voice becoming more and more shaky, "but since the whole inheritance is with me, I'll triple it if you don't kill me."

For a second Jake looked back to Sunghoon for support at that moment. He knew that his friend would probably accept because it would give him the chance to never lay a finger on you.

"Instead, I want you to kill my aunt."

That turn of events was making Jake and Sunghoon's heads spin. Hearts pounding as you let a single tear fall down your cheek. You tried to look convincing and strong talking to two guys who were about to kill you.

But being able to protect yourself was one of the few things you learned because it wasn't the first time someone had approached you out of interest. So why not use the money you had to your advantage? You never thought you'd be able to do that kind of thing, but you'd try anything to make sure no one killed you.

And if the case was to have those who wanted you dead killed, then you'd start with that.

© ikeuverse, 2024. do not copy, translate or steal my stories.

[averageallogene]

Tighnari ♡⊹˚ Heated mind (NSFW)

✧˖°. Summary: An Amurta student gets stationed in Gandharva Ville to practice medicine, growing a bond with Tighnari. Becoming quite close, Tighnari finds himself in a predicament that hits him like a truck right around the time his heat starts up.

fem. reader (3rd person) ; plot with concluding smut ; cw for breeding, character in heat.

8k words.

notes. Starting off strong lmao- This idea has literally been stuck in my head for days! I can’t get over the idea of Tighnari in heat. Just. Just. Just. Oh my good lord. No thoughts head empty just Tighnari in heat, needy as well as confused over his ordeal. Enjoy! ✧˖°.

Tighnari considered himself a busy man. The life of a forest watcher was certainly not easy, yet he thought it was all the more fulfilling. Between training the rangers stationed with him and studying the ecosystems of the rainforests of Sumeru, the young researcher never thought over anything else. For quite a while, he was very content.

That was, until he had what, in hindsight, would be a fateful encounter.

Many would pass between Gandharva Ville, including from other lands as well as from within their main city. He was used to dealing with people, being a very educated and overall pleasant person to speak with; in fact, more so when the topic at hand regarded either the ecosystems or anything else biology related. Collei would usually direct curious folk to him so Tighnari would indulge in any questions they might have, as well as, maybe, the occasional request if it was deemed appropriate. It was, for most, a most agreeable arrangement.

It started that way, in fact. An agreeable arrangement. A young woman, an Amurta student from the Akademiya, had been stationed in Gandharva Ville so she could practice the medicine that she’d learned. After all, no doctor could graduate without eventually moving on to the nitty and gritty. It was something most in the branch were nervous about, and the scent in the air upon her first arrival was definitely noticed. Nervousness, but also excitement. The promising student was more than ready to begin her practical studies amidst the forest rangers, and Tighnari saw no reason for denying her a station. After all, it would be most hypocritical of him not to, as a researcher himself.

Besides, perhaps the scolding of an outsider would do well to his rangers. Some were too used to ignoring his (frankly, undeniably justified!) ‘harsh’ reprimands. 

She was very pleasant to work with, thankfully. A kind spirit who got along well with most, determination glowing from her very being. Tighnari worried their lifestyle would somehow be incompatible with her own, given the lack of readily available supplies in Gandharva Ville for a nearly graduating doctor, yet he found she would very easily adapt herself.

“Thank you for your concern, wholeheartedly!” She would beam with positive radiance, all the while still holding a twinge of formality in the way she addressed him. Sure, he was technically her senior, but Tighnari wasn’t one to care for such things. “However, I’ll manage. I just wish for you to count on me whenever needed!”

Oh, she was needed alright. The forest rangers were… Clumsy, to be gentle. Airheaded at best, undeniably, stupidly foolish at worst. Tighnari gave them the needed manual for a reason, yet some would find a way to consume something they shouldn’t and it would end in potential disaster being averted, or get injured upon not being careful enough in analyzing the area they were assigned to.

A few were even obtuse enough to run off into the forest and find some time to fool around in ways that were more noticeable than they’d like to think. Tighnari’s ears were as sharp as they could come, and if distance wasn’t the issue, the odors they’d return with sure gave everything away. Ah, and the avoidance of his gaze was surely a telltale sign.

To say the least, disappointment had become something deeply embedded with the job.

“That’s just a part of life.” [F/N] would calmly state, shrugging her shoulders whenever the inexperienced forest rangers were caught in anything less than savory. That had, apparently, become more of a routine between a particular couple than what their master would enjoy. “Curiosity is bound to sprout with any sort of attraction. The important thing is to ensure you’re both safe, lest we want to end up in a compromising predicament mhm?” 

“Y-Yes, miss [F/N]...” The embarrassment was palpable amongst the pair, it being amplified with the indifference their stationed doctor displayed. Surely, they thought, they were being judged by a mile away, even as the medicine student gave them the best contraceptive she had readily available before they leaped out of the spot.

“You’re far too lenient.” Tighnari’s voice could be heard as he entered her tent in their stead, catching the smile that blossomed on her face. He on the other hand crossed his arms, a small sigh leaving his lips as he shook his head. “They’re being irresponsible by doing such activities during their shifts!”

“I’m not disagreeing with you, you know…” She laughed softly, getting up before rearranging her small wooden box of emergency medication. Whilst ensuring everything was in its place, she continued to chat with him. “I just believe that tackling the issue with a more open mind will ease our way to the solution. If we shame them, they’ll just continue to try and do it in secret.”

She had to bite her tongue before she elaborated on how the female ranger had tried stealing one of the contraceptives from her small cabinet the day prior. Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to tell Tighnari, or another scolding would shower down heavier than the rain that would usually pour into the rainforest. Yes, [F/N] thought the more open approach was definitely a better arrangement, even if a fraction of the embarrassment it could be for the couple.

“Besides, it’s a natural part of life. Sex shouldn’t be demonized.” 

“Well, with that I agree. I just-”

“Tighnari…” Her soft voice cut him off, though he didn’t quite mind. The Amurta student reached his side before placing an understanding hand on his shoulder, offering him a knowing smile. It certainly was a different dynamic from the one where they’d started off with, but the friendly relationship wasn’t at all unwelcomed. “Don’t worry, they’ll go back to normal soon enough. They’re just… Well, excuse me for a lack of better wording, but- Horny. Give them a few days to explore themselves and the high will soon die down.”

The forest ranger gave her a silent look - one his colorful irises spoke for themselves. One of a silent sigh, yet one that also agreed with her despite being tired of the ordeal. After all, Tighnari cared for their safety, and the mere thought of anyone getting frisky in the open wilderness was… Erhm, well… Conflicting, now that he thought about it. 

“Oh, anyway, since you’re here,” Her tone shifted, clear excitement and curiosity peaking through as she turned around and walked across her small tent. His gaze followed her, fluffy ears perking up as his tail swayed. He knew all too well what that tone was reserved for. “I wanted to ask for your thoughts on something. I’m trying to adapt a medicinal brew that’s originally from Liyue, but I can’t quite match this last ingredient with one that may be available in the rainforest… Could you please give me your insight?”

How could he not? The mere spark in her eye was enough to fill his chest with a sense of validation, heart swelling up. Well, that’s what he thought it was, at least. It surely was pleasant to feel respected, as well as sought after for one’s own interpretations. Tighnari couldn’t possibly deny helping such a cause.

Well, in truth, Tighnari couldn’t possibly deny her. That hadn’t occurred to him yet, though. He simply chucked it all to [F/N] being a pleasant company to be around, especially with them having so much in common. Their love of biology and the intricacies of the ecosystems was merely enough to fuel their conversations for hours, lasting way longer than the oil lamps they’d burn to light them well into the night. He found her voice pleasant to listen to, a delight as her tone would shift higher and lower between her curiosity and her contemplation to whatever he had to add to the conversation. The way her eyes would sparkle in such a wondrous way, his reflection staring right back at him as her face would focus solely on him, illuminated by the warm light. His ears would adjust carefully, slowly, shifting ever so slightly so he’d listen to every little syllable she spoke, every little sound she made as his tail wagged slowly, like a trance, unbeknownst to him as well. 

For quite a while, Tighnari was in blissful ignorance. He merely basked in her presence as one would delight in the sunlight of a spring’s afternoon, the warmth enveloping his very being as her fragrance engraved into him. The soft undertones of her natural scent became something he’d experience everyday, almost searching for it even without any clear intent, thinking of an interesting enough topic to discuss long after his legs had begun walking. [F/N]’s stay was well deep into several weeks at that point, and Tighnari didn’t even dare to think about her possible absence in the future. He’d found a companion in her, one he really enjoyed spending time with. 

A mere friend, he thought.

“I need to return to the Akademiya.” [F/N] had repeated, her tone soft as she gave him a smile smaller than usual. Still, it remained radiant to his eyes despite the sudden clench from within his ribcage.

“Oh?” He cleared his throat, trying to lift his head in a natural manner to gaze at her once more. “How come?”

He suddenly felt his tongue bitter.

“Well, I need to submit the reports I’ve been working on…” She reminded him again, waving gently the stack of papers she carried in her arms. His unfocused face didn’t go unnoticed, prompting her to stare at him with a frown that tugged at his heartstrings in a way he couldn’t quite figure out. “Tighnari… Are you alright? You seem a little-”

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me!” He reassured her, getting up from his chair before rounding up his table. He forced a smile to his face, masking the sudden sadness he felt wash over him. “Have you re-read your papers? Gotta make sure everything is spotless before being submitted.”

A silent plea, please stay a little longer, take a little more time to be close to me. Though, he himself wasn’t fully aware of it, either. 

“Yeah, spent the whole night last night reviewing it… I’m a little nervous, even though they’re just reports.” She laughed it off, his belly feeling as though it was suddenly swarmed with butterflies. “It’s not even my final paper and I’m already so stressed! What if I don’t meet the standard?”

“Are you serious?” He scoffed, hands resting on his hips before he offered her a more sincere smile. “[F/N], you’ll do great. I’ve not met a more hardworking student than you in a long time… I wholeheartedly believe in you.”

“Oh… Thank you, Tighnari.” It was her turn to feel butterflies suddenly blooming in her belly, silently praying he wouldn’t listen to the loud pitter patter of her heart. 

The two of them remained still for a few seconds, though it felt more like an eternity. His eyes stared into hers, awkwardly shifting as if trying to find the words to speak. Please stay, Let me review the papers before you go?, I think I like you too much to have you leave, were all thoughts racing through his mind, some cutting off amidst the others as he watched her tuck some hair behind her ear. And feeling his gaze on her so intently, the sudden blush forming on her cheeks was inevitable as she finally spoke again.

“W-Well I, I should get going. Sumeru City isn’t far from here, but I can’t afford to be late…” Tighnari’s tail slowly lowered at those words, though his face remained supportive for her. “I’ll try to visit if I don’t get stationed here again. I really enjoyed your company, Tighnari.”

“Likewise.”

Amidst his lovesick thoughts, he couldn’t afford to say more. There was hope bubbling within him, she could get stationed in Gandharva Ville again. His tail raised a little at that, though he still watched as she inevitably left to return to the Akademiya. Most of the other rangers wished her well before she departed, and just like that, life returned to normal. 

Her sudden absence was… Unexpectedly uncomfortable. There was a constant sense of dread within Tighnari’s stomach, one that had him wearily gaze around himself as his ears remained perked, twitching, unrested. He himself was unrested. The nights were long, the sounds of the frogs and the river under Gandharva Ville were no longer calming. It all felt suffocating, strangely quiet without the scent of the oil lamps burning besides him and [F/N], without her presence to soothe him. He’d toss and turn around his mattress, hot before feeling cold, hugging his tail close to himself before wanting to do nothing with it, getting a glass of water before trying to lay back down only to remain pacing until the sun rose again… It was getting rather stressful, ridiculous even.

It took him an excruciatingly long time to finally realize what could possibly be the cause of his mood shifts. In fact, the moment when it all clicked in his head was outright ridiculous.

For those oddly unaware, Tighnari is, in fact, a hybrid. A fennec fox hybrid, in specific. This is stated, because it would seem he himself had somehow forgotten about this very important fact for an extended period of weeks. Amidst the companionship [F/N] had provided during her stay, Tighnari had subconsciously dismissed this very important thing about himself that he’d been able to keep in mind for the entirety of his life up to that point. It may seem mostly unimportant to most, but to him, it is something that greatly impacts his lifestyle, as well as a specific decision that many would do brazenly.

The only night he’d somewhat managed to rest due to exhaustion, he found himself suddenly sweating amidst his sleep. He held his pillow tightly as his body turned, groaning quietly to himself as his mind still dozed off between the state of being awake and asleep. His breathing quickened, the guttural sounds he made being muffled as his fangs bit into the fabric of his pillow. He began profusely sweating, his mind running wild as his body shifted itself, rocking with rhythm against his mattress as he sought any sort of release from the sudden tense bubble he felt in his lower area. The pain grew tenfold, coaxing his body to jerk harder into the bed, huffing and nearly drooling as his teeth nearly ripped through the fabric in drunken pleasure. The sensation transformed to something delightful, him experiencing undeniable gratification as his hardening length pressed against whatever he rutted against. His hips shook violently almost, the strands of his hair sticking to his forehead as his temperature increased, chasing the high he sought as his mind graced him with a delightful dream he couldn’t resist.

“[F/N]... [F/N]...” He groaned against his drooled pillow, fangs biting again as he followed with a low groan. 

“Ah, T-Tighnari~” He imagined the way [F/N]’s voice would sound in such a lewd scenario, the sighs escaping from her pretty lips enough to leave him begging for more. It all felt excruciatingly real, the pain mixing with the pleasure as he ignorantly fucked the bed instead.

“[F/N]!” He repeated like a sacred mantra, rutting wildly against his mattress before the mere shock of his orgasm spasmed him awake. 

His eyes opened wide, panting before registering his teeth were wildly tearing into his only pillow. Letting it go, the ranger breathed heavily, trying to gather himself as his body shivered from the high coming to a halt. His mind still replayed the way her body glistened under his own, her gaze staring at him with an erotic sense of drunken pleasure, mouth gracing him with noises he’d never considered imagining up until that point. Tighnari slowly shifted his hands to support his weight, lifting himself from his bed before realizing the accident on his lower region. His face burst in heat as he pieced everything together, another groan leaving his throat as he slipped his fingers through his hair. 

“W… What a mess…” He mumbled, biting his lower lip as he felt the sudden urge to dig himself a hole and hide in it. The clothing stuck to him as his cock throbbed occasionally, clearly not satisfied and wanting more. Shame mixed with desire as he pondered his predicament, weighing in on if he should even attempt to relieve himself or try to ignore the yearning he felt wash over him violently.

Tighnari was in heat. He was careful to track whenever his cycles would come so he could prepare himself, both mentally and physically, but it seemed to have hit him by surprise this particular time. In truth, amidst [F/N]’s company, he hadn’t even remembered it was right around the corner. And with her sudden absence, he suddenly came to a realization this particular time it would be far more challenging to deal with it. 

With his hands gripping his hair as he sat there, everything ran a mile inside his head as he finally decided to confront his reality - not only did he desire someone, he wanted someone as his mate. This could very well go terribly bad, for his particular dna demanded him to remain with one partner for his entire life span. Would he be up for it? That answer came rather quickly, surprising even himself. Yes, he was up to it. [F/N] would be a delightful partner, he could feel it within himself. His tail wagged violently at the mere thought, desire and bliss mixing in a dangerous elixir as he felt himself throbbing yet again. Still… Would [F/N] accept him as is? He couldn’t possibly force her or anyone to stay with him, that was out of the question. Not only was it undoubtedly wrong to do so on so many levels, Tighnari was fully aware of the responsibility accepting him came with. He’d have to be with a partner that fully understood that side of him, as well of his needs and the unnegotiable commitment it required.

He could only audibly sigh, staring at his own body as he felt the pain kick back in. Nothing he wasn’t used to, yet the neediness now had a point of focus - something it would be utterly difficult to focus on his job with.

 [F/N]’s stay in the Akademiya wasn’t particularly long. She was mostly utterly joyous, for the reports she’d submitted were impeccable. Honestly, she inwardly credited Tighnari for most of her success, for his continuous support and feedback helped her work immensely. His mere existence was the sole reason she nearly begged her superior to return to Gandharva Ville, hoping to remain there as a doctor for a while longer. Sure, she found the other forest rangers lovely as well, but unlike Tighnari, she was well aware of her blooming feelings for the Forest Ranger. In truth, he made her feel like a teenager with a crush, giddy and giggly whenever she thought of him or his big fluffy tail and his pretty ears and his adorable voice and everything else- Suffice to say, [F/N] was ecstatic when it was reported back to her that she indeed had permission to remain stationed there for another fixed period.

The trip wasn’t long before she was back in familiar grounds, the smile on her face thrice as big as the one she had on her first day. She could practically hear her heart jumping out of her chest as she gazed around, silently looking for Tighnari even as his colleagues welcomed her back with open arms. All were happy to have her back, especially some who believed her presence would improve their master ranger’s mood - perhaps, some innocently wondered, she had something that could help him with his problem. Something that was silently acknowledged, but no one dared to even bring up. 

“Where’s Tighnari?” She had finally worked up the courage to ask, smile hopeful as another ranger gave her a sheepish one.

“Oh, well… He’s been mostly confined to his own tent. He’s uh… Been going through a rough period.” A male ranger explained to her, lifting his hand upon realizing the sudden panic in her expression. “He’s mostly fine, miss [F/N]. It’s a more uh, intimate matter.”

Her eyes widened as she registered what it could possibly mean, clicking rather quickly in her head. Simply mouthing an ‘oh’, she wondered if it would be appropriate to even visit him in such a state. [F/N] was not ignorant after all, and her vast knowledge in biology was a handy one when it came to fully understanding the intricacies of the body. 

Everyone quietly reassured her that he was still able to receive visits, though they were more regulated and spread out so as to not overwhelm him. As everyone gave her the brief rundown though, Tighnari was beyond jittery. He nearly twitched as he squinted his eyes shut, breathing heavily as he attempted to rationalize with his own mind. He could’ve sworn he smelled it, her scent, her lovely smell he’d come to adore, but he feared it was nothing more than his heat clouding his judgment. After all, he’d received no letter warning him of her return, so he’d figured it wasn’t happening. That was, until he heard a very familiar voice, his body jumping in his seat as his eyes stared at the entrance of his tent with pure eagerness.

“Tighnari? It’s me, [F/N]... Is it okay if I come in?”

His tail swayed wildly, his ears twitching as he felt his breath hitch. Doing his very best to keep himself in check, he cleared his throat before putting down the pen he wrote with.

“Of course, come in.” He hummed.

His eyes nearly dilated as he watched her walk in, closing the door behind her. His cheeks flushed with a faint color, eyes betraying his respect as they wandered lower. His state blurred his judgment, filling his mind with thoughts variable to the dreams he’d been receiving almost daily. The fox hybrid nearly salivated as he watched her clothing hug her figure almost sinfully, mentally slapping himself as he offered her a seat wherever she’d like. Watching as she came closer, he stalked her figure as she sat in front of him, her scent invading his mind as he fully embraced it. 

“I… Heard about why you’re here.” She spoke with pure sympathy, all the while attempting to reassure him she wasn’t in any way scared or repulsed by his situation. He simply smiled with thankfulness, listening to her every word. “Sorry, I should’ve sent a letter announcing my return. I wanted to surprise you, but had I known it would coincide with your cycle-”

“Please, it’s quite alright.” He shook his head, offering her a look that only filled her with endearment. “I’m very happy to see you again, [F/N]... Although… Are you only visiting, or are you actually coming back to remain stationed here?”

Her smile nearly made him dizzy. “The latter.” She confirmed his question, Tighnari inwardly throwing his hands in the air in both bliss and frustration. Oh, he absolutely adored the idea of her around him, but that meant he’d have to suddenly chuck up the energy to discuss something very important with her.

“Really? That makes me so happy!” He sighed with happiness, wanting nothing more than to hold her close. He watched every little move she made, the way her shoulders tensed, the way her smile grew shier, the way her legs squeezed together as she remained seated in front of him… Unlike before, he no longer had the willpower to deny himself his feelings nor his desires. 

“I’m very happy to be back, too.” She confessed, her cheeks gaining an endearing blush. Between shy glances and hidden confessions, Tighnari figured he would simply have to bulldoze through the topic. He couldn’t wait any longer, else he’d burst or regret ever doing something harsh amidst his haze.

“Since you’re here, [F/N]... I’d like to discuss something with you. Do you have some time?”

“Of course. What do you need of me?” She inquired, head tilting slightly as she offered him her ear.

He gulped, his adam’s apple bobbing before he took a deep breath. She watched as he placed his pen to the side, sighing before finally gazing up at her again. 

“I wanted to have a serious conversation with you. Don’t worry, you haven’t done anything wrong.”

She laughed softly, his eyes nearly closing as he basked in her giggle. He’d only realized he had just treated her like he’d sometimes treat his own rangers, reassuring them whenever they hadn’t done anything worth receiving a scolding for.

“It’s okay Tighnari, I wasn’t worried. Please do speak your mind.”

“Right, well… It’s regarding these cycles I have.” He began, looking for any sign of discomfort as he spoke. He saw absolutely none, as well as no surprise on her face. She was calm, cool, collected, as well as supportive to listen to whatever he had to say. His heart jumped, mind racing as he wondered what the climax of this conversation would be. “Although your presence is very much welcomed and enjoyed, you’ve left just as my, erhm… Heat began, and returned right at the height of it.”

“O-Oh.” She hummed, a blush spreading across her face as she urged him to continue.

“During your absence…” He dragged out, before finally taking a deep breath and deciding to just lay all his cards on the table. “It’s been hell, I can’t lie. I’ve been prepared my whole life to deal with these cycles each time I don’t find a mate, but I can’t deny the bubbling feelings I’ve grown for you. At this point they’re not even feelings of a small crush, they’ve developed into full blown adoration. The issue is, as I’m sure you’re aware, I’m part fennec fox.”

Nevermind the utter leap her heart was doing, [F/N] was fully listening in to him. Despite the fireworks going off in her head for knowing her love was returned, she was still concerned for his predicament. She could only wonder how uncomfortable it had been for him, especially when knowing she was the root cause of this particular cycle. 

“While most hybrids don’t have to think of this particular deal with much seriousness, me on the other hand, have to consider that-”

“Fennec foxes mate for life.” She finished the sentence for him, a sheepish smile gracing her pretty face as she felt her thighs squish together. Her heart raced inside her chest, eyeing him directly as she remained as calm as she could. She could feel his stare glue on her, looking for any sign of disapproval before he’d continue.

“Yes…” He hummed, clearing his throat before looking at her again. “Well… I fully understand that this can be a dealbreaker though, so-”

“I love you too, Tighnari.” It was her turn to be blunt, her eyes finally unmasking the pure adoration she’d held for him during the whole time. They glistened with a spark he couldn’t quite place, catching him off guard before he found the strength to finally respond back.

“A-Are you certain?” He mumbled, causing her to giggle softly. His ears twitched to whatever sound she’d bless him with, tail wagging in a livelier manner as her eyes followed with endearment. “Don’t get me wrong, that… That makes me happier than what I can even describe, but I can’t stress enough how this is a huge commitment. Once I have confirmation, there will be a switch flipped in my brain to instantly consider you as my partner, forever.”

“I fully understand that, Tighnari.” She reassured him, nodding her head as if to further confirm it to him. “I wouldn’t allow myself to fall in love with you if I wasn’t ready to commit. I know how important this is to you, but I am ready. For everything.”

The last statement was, by itself, enough to flip his switch. [F/N] watched as his eyes dilated, slowly getting up from his chair before rounding up his table. Following suit she got up as well, ready to welcome him as she watched him visibly struggle to remain cordial despite what she could only assume were urges bubbling deep within his being. Unbeknownst to her however, the hair at the back of his neck stood, his movements growing slower as he approached who his mind now suffocatingly told him was his lover, his mate. She offered him a loving smile, accepting him with open arms as he hesitantly placed his hands on her hips, noting how they were… Wide. How she was breedable. His mind was running foggy, he had to control himself for a little longer.

“I… I’m sorry if I’m moving a little fast, [F/N].” He confessed, his eyebrows furrowing as his tone nearly turned into a whine. He jolted slightly upon feeling her hands resting against his chest, her voice humming in understanding.

“It’s okay Tighnari, I understand. Like I said… I’m ready for anything.” Her hand lifted to stroke his cheek, his knees nearly giving out as his grip against her waist grew stronger. It was her turn to gasp lightly, though remaining with a confident and loving smile. He watched as she bit her lower lip, his mind groaning over how he wished to bite it instead. “I want you to know I’m willing to do whatever you need done. Will you just… Please guide me through it beforehand?”

He frantically nodded his head, the black of his pupils nearly drowning the color of his eyes as he pulled her closer to himself. Her frame felt perfect against him, her fingers stroking against his cheek still as if enticing him to move forward. With a quiet promise to explain everything to her before anything was done, Tighnari sealed it with a kiss, nearly suffocating himself in the process as he drowned in love and lust. His lips felt hot against her own, a sigh of bliss leaving her as he took the lead, experimenting as his mind lost focus. Wanting to taste more of her, his tongue peeked through, carefully carving out her lips before parting them, seeking her very own as they began to waltz together. At first slow, it rapidly grew more frantic, his hands lowering as he encaged her against himself, his own muffled groans in sync with her quiet whimpers before hearing her babble his name almost incomprehensibly.

“Tigh… Mhm, Tighnahhh….ri…” She moaned softly, his ears shooting straight up as he finally leaned back, letting her breathe. Never minding the saliva on the corner of his mouth, he eyed her eagerly, listening to her attentively. “M-Maybe not here?...”

He was blushing furiously, already feeling excited under his pants. “R-Right, I’m sorry.” He practically groaned, his hands never roaming too far from her hips before he leaned closer, kissing the corner of her lips repeatedly and with fervor. “I’ll explain everything once… Think you can keep up?”

“Mhm…” She nodded her head, taking up his challenge as his lips continued attacking her mouth with desire. And amidst fleeting kisses and licks, he explained everything that would need to be done, seeking approval and consent before it quickly became dark. 

Her mind ran wild, heart nearly bursting out of her chest as she prepared for what was to come. After everyone had gone to rest, the two of them made haste deep into the forest, hands holding together as he guided her through. Despite knowing exactly how the ordeal was done, Tighnari himself had never done anything of the sort, only further fueling his eagerness to finally release this side of himself with the one he chose. Such was very clear with the way he held [F/N] close, murmuring to her the repeated plan whilst ensuring her he’d be as gentle as he could.

“Not scared of the dark, are you?” He pressed his chest against her back, bringing them both to a stop as his lips brushed against the crook of her neck. Against his hold her figure tensed, an excited grin on her face as she stroked his hands.

“No, don’t worry. With you it’ll be fine.” [F/N] hummed in response, shivering upon feeling his teeth brush against her exposed skin.

Tighnari was nearly trembling, though he bit himself back. He was close to finally getting what he needed, he only needed to hold on a little longer. His animalistic urges were bubbling from within at the mere thought of how it would all go down, it being the only reason he managed to finally release her from his embrace.

“Alright, dear. I’m giving you a minute to run ahead.” He explained, a cheeky tone hidden underneath the husky voice he spoke with. [F/N] turned around to gaze at him one last time before she were to follow through. “Be sure to not get hurt… One… Two… Three…”

Her eyes widened upon realizing he’d already begun counting. With a brief smile [F/N] ran, her panting being listened to even as she disappeared into the night. Tighnari couldn’t help the smile from forming on his face, his voice still echoing through the forest as he continued to count the time. His ears were straight up, twitching at any little sound he heard as he felt his heart racing. As he was coming close to finally counting down the minute, he could feel his mouth nearly salivating, the scent of her arousal reaching his nose. 

“And sixty… Alright alright my love, here I come~” He practically sang, moving slowly at first as if he stalked the area for any sounds. 

[F/N] could hear him approaching, biting her lip as she smiled for herself. She couldn’t deny just how excited she was, even if the ordeal hadn’t exactly been one she’d thought she’d find herself in. Honestly, that was all the more reason for her to feel eager for him. Still… She couldn’t cop out and make it end quicker. Despite being selfish with her own desires, she still understood the assignment of ensuring his needs were also met, even if such needs included a chase that led them into a small cave.

It lasted for a little longer than what [F/N] could’ve ever predicted. Honestly, she inwardly gave herself a pat on the back, being able to evade Tighnari for far longer than what she would've ever thought possible. Sure, it might’ve been easy for a fox hybrid like himself, but it was still a feat for someone as inexperienced in such a thing as herself. It was a little difficult to navigate the forest in the dark, her pace slowing down as she realized she was close to their final destination. Her hands moved to slightly loosen her own clothing, a small step to aid in the near future as they finally rendezvous on their little den. 

“Eager, are we?” [F/N]’s voice let out a sudden yelp, arms snaking around her as Tighnari had suddenly jumped from the shadows. His face nuzzled against her shoulder as he aided her in loosening her clothing further, the grin being practically felt against her skin as he peppered her with hungry kisses. “You did so well, love… I’m actually impressed.”

“And I’ll only get better… Next time around.” She huffed whilst trying to suppress her sighs of pleasure, feeling his hands roam against her figure as he shivered against her hold. Tighnari only hummed in approval, agreeing with her before turning her to face him.

“Of course. But for tonight, seems like I’ve successfully caught you…” He breathed out, clashing his lips against her own as they ruffled against one another. He could practically feel her smile against his lips, heart swelling as he inwardly praised the skies for such an understanding partner for his needs.

“Mhm… You have…” She mumbled, her own hands sneaking up on him to help him loosen his own outfit as well. “I’m all yours, dear. Why don’t you claim your prize for however long you wish, ‘Nari?”

He shivered in such a delightful way, she herself could feel it against her hold. It was dirty, the way she made it seem so… Primal. Yet it only fueled his fire more, his urges boiling to the surface before he dragged her off to the little den they’d painstakingly prepared beforehand.

“You’re so good for me… So good. Thank you.” His whines were honestly sickeningly sweet, a stark contrast from what [F/N] had thought he’d behave like. It was as though the normally level-headed Tighnari still wished to voice his thankfulness one final time before succumbing for the time being, wanting her to know just how much he appreciated her.

“Anything for my ‘Nari…” She mumbled back, feeling as the cool air hit her bare skin. 

He felt himself drooling, tongue slithering across her neck before going down her bare skin. The makeshift blanket with their pile of clothes served as a base for them to lie down, carefully trapping his lover against his hold before he pressed himself against her. [F/N] could feel his body hot, sweating against her own as her fingers stroked through his dark locks, sighing in lust as she felt his fangs experimentally bite her collarbone. 

“I can smell just how aroused you are…” He pointed out, licking his lips devilishly upon feeling her thighs squeeze shut. His hand lowered before gently prying them open, his body shifting downwards as he left a trail of kisses against her skin. “Don’t hide from me, love. Not only is it useless to… I could just- Get drunk off your scent.”

[F/N] shivered as glanced down at him, the lack of light only adding an extra layer of eagerness for the whole situation. Her other senses were heightened with the lack of light, jumping at every little touch he offered her as his eyes practically glowed back at her.

“Tigh… Tighnari…” She moaned quietly, still a little reserved, feeling his lips reach her inner thigh as his fingers carefully worked to fully undress her lower region. “I-It’s embarrassing~”

“Nonsense, you’re absolutely divine.” He hummed in delight, his eyes leaving her face to fully focus on her now exposed pussy. By that point he licked his lips in preparation, his hands firmly holding each thigh as he prepared himself to fully dive in. 

Like a starved man, Tighnari was quick to jump in and stop any possible questions his lover could have. Even though [F/N] was already naturally aroused by their situation, the idea of tasting her juices was enough to have him leaping for it, ignoring his own lust as he drowned himself in what he quickly came to realize was the best taste he’d ever tried. His tongue moved feverishly, but not without care for every corner of her pussy as his grasp against her squishy skin tightened. His ears remained straight as he listened to the delectable moans she provided for him, strings of praises mixed with incomprehensible babbles leaving her lips as her back arched naturally with the pleasure he provided. Tighnari could quite possibly come undone then and there were he not to stop rutting himself against the floor, his hardened bulge painfully reminding him that he needed some attention to. His tongue swirled upwards to her clit, paying extra attention as he both kissed and nibbled on it, as if the researcher experimented on any little reaction his dearest provided him.

“N.. Agh… ‘Nari! That feels so good,” she heaved amidst moans, one hand lowering before grabbing a hold of his hair, careful as to not tug too hard. It was his turn to groan, a guttural sound that vibrated against her needy hole, leaking in neediness of him as it only further enticed him for more.

“More, I need more,” he huffed against her pussy, licking up any juices she offered him as if it were divine nectar he’d been blessed with. 

Even against his hold, her thighs squished around his head, trapping him into a situation he couldn’t possibly complain about. His nails dug slightly into her skin, [F/N] swearing she could hear her lover growl under his breath in what she could only assume was pleasure from the ordeal. Having never considered Tighnari would actually become pussydrunk, it was a pleasant surprise to say the least. 

“You’re so wet, so so wet my lovely [F/N]...” He purred, all the while still giving all his attention to her pussy, an experimental pump of two fingers enticing a louder moan that had the hairs at the back of his neck stand. He couldn’t wait himself, the sensation of her tight hole around his throbbing cock would absolutely derail him, he just knew it. The way her tight walls sucked his fingers in desperation was enough to have him shivering, pumping them deeper as he listened to her finally whining out her request.

“‘Nari… I can’t wait any longer!” His [F/N] moaned, pulling his head up by his hairs to watch his glowing eyes land straight to her blushing face. His expression darkening with desire, he slowly lifted himself up, her juices staining the lower part of his face as he licked his fingers clean.

“Is that so? Then tell me, what exactly do you want to interrupt me in such a way.” He hummed, tail wagging as if expecting a final confirmation before the prize was finally claimed.

With her arms wrapping around his shoulders, she pulled him close, eyes pleading by themselves before she whined. “Please Tighnari, fuck me real good. I want you to fill me up, to breed me!”

Although it was the dead of night, his eyes widened, the fox hybrid nearly choking on his spit as he was evidently caught off guard. Not exactly expecting her to use such filthy language, Tighnari quickly removed his undergarments before finally freeing his cock, pumping it eagerly while [F/N] spread her legs nice and wide for him.

“You’re such a dirty girl… But I ‘spose I should reward you for being so honest with me.”

“Mhm, please?” She pleaded, a groan leaving his throat before his lips latched onto her own. 

With both in position, Tighnari aligned himself before finally pushing his tip in, his eyes closing shut as he lowly moaned against her neck. Her tight walls sucked him in, welcoming his throbbing cock with open arms as if begging for him to fuck her into his shape. He felt her legs locking around his hips, her body jolting under him as her nails clawed at his back slightly.

“S-Shit… You’re so tight.” He sighed out, sharp teeth brushing against her still unmarked skin. His free hand roamed up, fingers slithering across one of her breasts before latching onto it. “So good, baby. You feel so good, taking me in nice and easy.”

“‘Nari, you’re so big…” She yelped, her walls stretching to accommodate him as her natural arousal coated his cock. The slight pain would periodically subside as he attempted to not wildly thrust into her, his hips battling against his brain as he gave her a moment to adjust to his sudden insertion.

His lips lowered to her chest, a trail of kisses leading up to her tit before his mouth latched onto her nipple. Sucking while gently nibbling on it, Tighnari began to slowly thrust, attempting to focus himself on maintaining a steady rhythm before he’d lose control. The way her velvety walls wrapped around him so nicely had him seeing stars, the high clouding his vision as he groaned in a sinful manner that only further helped arouse [F/N].

“Harder, Tighnari… Please, please fuck me harder!” She moaned, pleading with him as she held him tighter. 

His grasp on her tightened, finally letting himself go as his hips rolled quicker, faster, harder. This had his mate moan his name out like a sacred prayer, their lewd sounds echoing around them as his cock became coated with their own desire. Tighnari bit and nibbled all over her chest, moaning how good she felt around him all the while, how she was his, how much he loved her. His teeth left many love bites around her skin, the researcher grinning to himself whenever he felt her hole clench a little tighter around him with each hickey.

“I’m going to fill you up, love. You just wait, you’ll be so full of my cum, so full of it, oh I can’t wait…” He lifted his head before lunging at her lips, swallowing her moans as the tears pricked the corners of her eyes. 

[F/N] could swear she was seeing white, eyes rolling back as his tongue rubbed against her own, his dick being able to reach deeper and deeper and hitting all the right spots. Her grasp on him weapened, jolting at every time Tighnari thrusted forward before nearly emptying her pussy and ramming back in. It was so sinful, so lustful, so good. He fucked so good, she couldn’t even stop the babbling moans from leaving her throat as he fucked her tongue with his own. His pace increased, yet Tighnari held on, cock throbbing but still not quite close to cumming, saving all of his load to coat her insides in sticky ropes of white and claiming her for the first time of the night. 

“You want that don’t you? For me to breed you nice and good?” He lifted his head, the string of saliva falling down and sticking to her jawline as she moaned in response, his grin never leaving his face as he continued to fuck her faster. “You’ll be a wonderful mom, oh I’m sure of it, I’ll make sure by tomorrow you’re stuffed full of cum that you’ll surely be pregnant with my pups.”

“Mhm, Tighnari!” [F/N] cried out, trying to pull him back to kiss him more, instead only receiving kitten licks across her lips as his hips continued to thrust into her aching hole.

“I can’t wait… I can’t wait, fuck [F/N], you’ll look so pretty once I fill you up.” Tighnari’s hand lowered to rest on top of her belly, his heart racing as he thought of his beloved fully bred. His back shivered at the image, his pre already mixing with her juices as he imagined her pretty hole filled to the brim.

“Ah, ‘Nari, you feel so good~ I’m so close, ahnn~” 

“Are you cumming love? Then do it, right around my cock, do it, I want to fuck you through your first release.” 

Tighnari watched attentively, focusing for a sole moment as her face twisted, lips parting as her pussy clenched around him one final time. His ears were graced with the most delightful of moans, hole spasming around him wildly as it all threatened to overwhelm his own high. He groaned in response, hips still thrusting through it as he engraved her expression in his mind. She looked so fucked out, and yet one single round wouldn’t satisfy him in the slightest.

“You look, so, gorgeous,” He breathed out quickly, finally latching onto her lips once more as his own pace grew wild and unpredictable. His arms rested against the ground, holding himself up as he pressed harder against her sweating body, grinding against her as he chased his own high against her now overstimulated pussy.

“Ah, Tighnari, that’s-!” [F/N] moaned loudly, arch backing deliciously against himself as her tits squished against his chest. His teeth nibbled on her puffy lower lip, growling as he felt his cock throbbing harder, signaling he was close.

“I’m going to cum, [F/N], here comes your first prize for being such a good girl,” He huffed, grinning wildly before he moaned her name lowly, one final thrust into her abused hole kissing her on her deepest part before finally dumping his fat load deep into her.

Nails digging into his back, she moaned in pure bliss, body trembling at the mere sensation of her pussy being utterly filled to the brim. To her surprise, Tighnari continued to pump into her, fucking her through his own release as his cum coated every single corner of her hole until there was no space left. He felt his head lower against her neck before finally breathing heavily, slowly pulling out before lifting himself up to watch the scene before him.

With hearts in her eyes, [F/N] eyed him with a blissful expression, arms extended out to him as if whining for him to come back to her arms. Her legs remained apart, his cum now leaking from her as her hole protested the sudden disappearance of his dick. Her chest was sprinkled with love bites, body glistening and sweating as her hair was disheveled from their first round of many. 

“N…. Ah.. ‘Nari?” She whispered, face blushing upon gazing how he stroked himself, pumping his hardening dick vigorously as he savored the view. She felt her mouth go dry, the sudden wonder of how his cock would feel fucking her throat running through her mind. “A-Ah~”

“No wasting any seed, now…” He purred, fingers sliding easily back inside her hole before fingering his cum back into her pussy. The sound their mess made was quickly becoming one of his favorites, still rubbing himself while he studied over how sensitive she was. “This won’t do… A single round won’t be enough to ensure you’re well bred, don’t you think baby?”

“H-Huh?” She blushed furiously, feeling his weight press against her once more, aligning against her entrance yet again as his dark gaze landed right on her.

“One more time, love… One more, can you take it? Please?” He outright pleaded, promising it would only be one more, just to ensure. 

It never was just one more time, Tighnari fucking her well into the sunrise, more and more addicted to how she felt around him, as well as the image of her every hole leaking his seed.

[evanpeterswhoresblog]

i'm soooo glad you're back!!! love your writting so much, was thinking about some ghostface¡ tate or shit yk...like everyone who flirts with reader end murdered

i’m sorry this took me so long to do 😔 but i sorta did my own twist on this request, hope you don’t mind… i love it… anyway… :)

~~~

Lovefool

Tate Langdon x f!reader

warnings: murder, smut, stalking, obsession, very toxic, manipulation, very minor talk of drug use… virgins, yeah idk what else it’s just stalker tate being crazy for you

summary: tate’s loved you since the first moment you met, and he would do anything to be with you… anything…

word count: 4.4

~~~

2011

You stare at the boy in front of you, a mix of emotions stirring inside you. He’s your age still, you aren’t too surprised at that. You’re more surprised at the fact that he’s in front of you. It’s been so long since the last time you saw him. You remember the pain, the pure fear that paralyzed your body the last time the two of you had an encounter. It still makes you uneasy.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, your voice weak.

He shrugs. “It’s Halloween.”

“There’s been plenty of Halloweens Tate and this is the first time I’ve seen you here. What do you want?” You reply in a harsher tone than.

Tate shrugs again and starts to play with the sleeves of his sweater. You can’t believe this is real. You want to close your eyes and pretend this is all a sick dream, though you haven’t slept in years. After a few seconds, you cross your arms over your chest and take a deep breath. This isn’t going to be easy.

“Tate the fact you even have the balls to try to find me is crazy, what happened? Did you suddenly feel some sense of guilt? Are you finally sorry for what you did to me? I don’t even care if you are sorry, I don’t care about anything except the one question I’ve wondered since the night it happened,” you say.

“What question?” He responds.

“Why?” Your eyes start to burn. “Why did you kill me?”

~~~

1993

Tate had never seen any girl as beautiful as you. Never. Not in a movie, not in a magazine, nothing. From the first time he saw you in kindergarten, he knew there was something special about you. Of course, he didn’t know it would grow into what it did until middle school when his hormones took over. His feelings for you quickly transitioned from a pure crush to a sick obsession. And the best and worst part of it all was that you had no idea.

You never really spoke to him. He was out of your league. You were popular, but not braindead popular like the people you surrounded yourself with. Tate had seen you in some of your classes. You were smart, you got the best grades in those classes. You had plans for yourself after high school, unlike your friends. That knowledge only made him admire you more.

The problems began when you started going out with one of the popular boys in your group, David. He was awful for you; Tate didn’t understand why you chose to have such a relationship with someone like that. He’d watch how David would wrap his arms around you in the hallways, leave small kisses on your cheeks, and whisper words in your ears that made your face turn bright red. It made him furious.

What did David have that he didn’t? Why was he so special? Tate knew he could give you more than David ever could. So, why were you with him?

Tate quickly became blinded by rage and jealousy.

At night he’d lie awake, the knowledge that you might’ve been out there opening your legs for another boy making him sick. That’s when the fantasies began. He imagined killing David. How would he do it? Where? In what way would leave the least amount of blood on his clothes? The image of his mutilated body consumed Tate’s thoughts. He liked it.

It was around that time that he had found the mask.

It was a strange mask he found in the basement. It had a long white face with black holes for the eyes and a long mouth. He wondered which resident of his house had left it there for him. He didn’t know, and frankly, he didn’t care. All he knew from the second his eyes fell upon that mask was that bad things were going to happen.

He started going out at night and driving by David’s house. The mask he wore gave him a sense of power he never knew he could feel. At first, it was innocent. He’d simply drive down the other boy's road and look through his window for a few minutes before leaving. But all it took was one second of seeing you inside to blow the whole thing up. He was livid, seeing red. He decided he needed to bring his fantasies to life and get rid of David for good.

Halloween was when the opportunity to kill David became undeniable. By that point, Tate had been stalking the two of you for a month so he knew the basics. Which room was Davids, how to get into his house, and where his parents were most likely going to be. He had it all planned out. So, on Halloween night he put on the mask along with black robes that covered his entire body and ventured to the other boy's house, ready to kill.

He brought a knife, and when the time was just right, he snuck in through one of David’s open windows and started his game. He crept through the empty house, not making a sound. Getting to David’s room only took him a few minutes and what he heard from outside the door made him not regret his choice at all.

“Yeah, I know, listen she’s so close to finally giving it up to me and that’s what I’ve been working for this whole time. Once it happens, I’ll dump her, easy,” David spoke into his phone. His voice was cocky. It made Tate clench his jaw in frustration.

“Because dude, do you know how many girls from school I’ve already got under my belt? Y/N is just gonna be a name on my list. Yeah, whatever, I gotta go anyway I need to shower for the party, maybe I’ll get lucky, and she’ll drink too much. Okay bye.”

Before David could even get up from his chair, Tate kicked the door down and stormed in, too overpowered by his rage to think about anything but slitting the other boy's throat. He pounced on him, stabbing the knife into any part of his body he could reach. David screamed, but Tate quickly silenced him by shoving the knife down his throat. He felt empowered, he felt thrilled at the sight of his dead peer. It was amazing.

Tate didn’t waste much time gawking over his achievement, however. Once he was sure David was dead, he quickly pulled the knife out of the boy and fled out the window and back to his car. As he drove through the small neighborhoods of your guys' town, he wondered how big the news would be. Would you cry? He hoped you wouldn’t. Not over that asshole. You would move on, and Tate would wait however long it took.

~~~

The news of David’s death spread faster than wildfire and consumed Westfield High’s drama for weeks. Out of all the kids in the school, you took his death hardest. Seeing you so depressed almost made Tate regret his actions. He couldn’t bear seeing you tear up in class or show up to school two periods late. You weren’t like that.

However, as the days turned into weeks, you started to appear healthier and happier, and soon enough you were back to your normal self. Tate was glad, you were always so much prettier when you paid attention in class. He decided it was time for the second part of his plan to finally act. Though he was incredibly nervous, he knew it was then or never. He couldn’t risk you getting a new boyfriend that he’d have to kill again.

So, one day, he followed you into the library when the two of you coincidently had a study hall during the same period. His heart was beating so loud he could hear it in his ears. There you were. sitting at one of the tables alone studying, and he was going to speak to you. He’d thought up conversation starters all morning along with taking a few extra hits off his bong to help with the anxiety.

He shook the nervous thoughts from his head and grabbed his notebook from his backpack before walking in your direction. Your head was down, your hand moved aggressively across the paper as you wrote your notes. Tate stood at the other side of the table for a few seconds simply admiring you. His hands were shaky, his breathing uneasy. God, you made him lose his composure by existing. It was excruciating.

After he was done staring, he spoke, his voice quiet. “Hey y/n, do you mind maybe helping me with some of that psych homework?”

Your head shot up, your eyes instantly meeting his. He swore he couldn’t breathe. You, y/n, were looking at him on purpose. At that moment he didn’t care about what you were going to say, he didn’t care if you completely rejected him. All he cared about was how good it felt to have your eyes on him. Such innocent, loving eyes.

“Oh, yeah of course Tate that’s actually what I’m working on right now. Just sit, we can do it together. Unless you’re like super behind,” you answered.

“Are- Are you sure?” He couldn’t help the uncertainty. Did you really say yes to him?

“Yeah... should I not be?” You replied with a smile.

“No- sorry.” He sat down across from you. He could smell your perfume; he’d never been this close to you. “I just wasn’t sure if you even knew who I was.”

You chuckled. “How could I not know who you are? We’ve literally been in the same school system together since kindergarten.”

“I don’t know. You’re you know popular and stuff,” he said as he opened his notebook.

“Not really, besides even if I was that wouldn’t automatically make me forget anyone. But anyway, you can use my notes in a second, I’m almost done with the page,” you responded. You looked back down at your work and started writing again.

Tate nodded despite you not paying attention and watched as you wrote. He felt like that whole conversation was another one of his daydreams about you. Was he really sitting across from you? Or was it another mid-class nap? He cracked his knuckles to make sure he wasn’t dreaming and thankfully, he wasn’t. It was all real life.

“Sorry if this comes out as creepy, but I feel like I haven’t seen you around in a while. I mean, when was the last time we even spoke?” You suddenly spoke, your eyes back on his.

“I guess you weren’t looking hard enough to see me,” he said with a shrug. All his confidence was a facade because on the inside he was losing his mind.

He noticed the way your cheeks slightly turned pink before you replied. “Yeah, I guess I wasn’t. But I should have been.”

He knew deep down you were going to be his for so long, but at that point, he knew he had already achieved his goal. You were his.

~~~

“What is this place?” You asked as you clutched your cardigan around your body.

Tate smiled and grabbed both of your hands in his. “I told you it’s a surprise. Patience is a virtue.”

“I have patience, but I also have a lower body temperature than usual and it’s bothering me so I would really appreciate it if you’d just take me to the surprise already,” you said, a small smile forming on your lips.

“It’s seventy degrees.”

“Yeah, but it’s also windy at the beach and it’s probably colder than seventy because of the ocean’s temperature.”

Tate sighed and leaned his head down to press a small kiss on your lips, a feeling he still hadn’t gotten over. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Terrible, naughty things I hope,” you replied, kissing him again. “But please lead me to your special surprise beach spot.”

Though he wanted to stand there and kiss you all night, Tate obeyed your request and began to lead you further down the beach. It had been a few months since the two of you started talking, and to say it progressed would be an understatement. Tate had truly underestimated how easy it would be to capture your attention. All you wanted was a sweet, caring, genuine boy and he could be all those things easily.

So, after a month of being friends, he asked you out and you said yes. The relationship grew deeper with each day, and it didn’t disappoint him one bit. He loved everything about you. The way you’d lie on your bed with him and talk for hours, the way you’d make your relationship with him public by holding his hand in the halls, and most importantly the way you never expected or wanted him to change to fit in with your friends. You liked him for who he was, and it melted his heart.

It was your three-month anniversary, and Tate wanted to make it special. Even though he knew before the two of you got together that you were a virgin, he didn’t know to what extent you were. He quickly became aware you had done most things already, just not full sex. At first, he was annoyed at the fact that you weren’t completely his because he had never done anything with a girl before you. But after the first night, you went down on him, he wasn’t that upset anymore.

On this night he planned to take the next step with you. He had it all set up. The blankets, the lights, all of it. As the sight of his setup came into view, he watched your face light up. You squeezed his hand and grinned up at him.

“Is this really for me?” You asked.

“Yeah, do you like it?” He replied.

You nodded and sped up to reach it, dragging him with you. Once you made it you dropped down to sit on the blanket, urging Tate to do the same. “This is so cool. You’re the first boy to ever do something like this for me. I love it.”

“I’m glad, I know how you like sentimental things,” he said as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. “And I’ve been wanting to show you this spot for a while. I used to come here a lot as a kid and watch the waves with my dad... before he left. I wanted to make it special with you because you’re not like my dad. Right?”

“No, I’m not. I won’t ever do anything to hurt you like that. I lo- I like you Tate, a lot.”

Tate only stared into your eyes, his heart beating faster than it ever had in his life. You almost said you loved him. He knew then that night was going to be the night you finally gave yourself to him. Something in your eyes made him certain. Your eyes were dark. You stared up at him as if he were the only boy in the world. There was a feeling in the air, one of lust and fear.

“I’ll never want to hurt you either,” he mumbled after a few seconds. “I doubt I ever could.”

You gave him a small smile and placed one of your hands on his cheek. You caressed the skin with your thumb as you slowly started to lean your face toward his. He accepted your lips on him, kissing back instantly. It was the moment he’d been working up to for years. He was finally going to lose his virginity to you, and you to him. Nothing would ever compare.

~~~

The sound of Nirvana mixed with skin slapping filled Tate’s room. He couldn’t help the moan that left his lips when he looked down at you. Your back was arched so perfectly, your waist looked impossibly small, and your ass looked incredibly big. The side of your face was smushed against one of Tate’s pillows. You were so red, so loud you had to bite your hand to spare the whole house from hearing. Tate took in a deep breath and slapped your ass, his thrusts not faltering for even a second.

“Fuck baby, you look so pretty right now. You take me so well,” he whispered. He wrapped some of your hair around his hand and yanked you up, making you practically scream. “Yeah, you like that. You like being manhandled y/n?”

You let out another moan but didn’t reply. Tate slapped your ass again and threw you back down to the mattress. He leaned over you, your sweaty body feeling perfect against his. He was close to finishing. He’d already made you cum a few times that day, so he wasn’t too concerned about where you were. All he was concerned about was getting closer to you before he came.

“I love controlling you, you’re so helpless. Fuck I’m so close,” he mumbled in your ear. “You’re mine, all fucking mine forever. I’ll kill anyone who even tries to take you away from me.”

You made a noise and Tate couldn’t hold back any longer. He came inside you, his cock pulsing heavily. You groaned; his cock was hitting your cervix too hard it hurt. He waited a minute or so before finally pulling out and moving to the spot next to you on the bed. He’d never felt anything as amazing as having sex with you. He was breathless.

He was so caught up in his thoughts about what just happened that he didn’t notice your sad expression. When he eventually looked at you, he saw your frown. Immediately he turned to his side and faced you, reaching out one of his hands to brush a few of your hairs behind your ear.

“What’s wrong baby?” He asked.

“Nothing,” you replied.

“It doesn’t look like nothing you look sad; you can tell me whatever it is.”

You sighed and turned your head to meet his gaze. “Why do you like hurting me? Like during sex and stuff. You’re always so rough and I don’t know you’re really mean and sometimes the stuff you say is… scary.”

“How is it scary?” He laughed.

“You said you’d kill anyone who would try to take me away from you,” you said.

“Yeah, I would. I swear I’ve said this shit to you before. I would do anything for you, or to keep you,” he responded.

“Don’t joke about that Tate, you know I’m scared of killers because of what happened.”

“Oh, so this is about David? Why are you even thinking about him y/n he’s been dead for months. Do you miss him, or something is that it?” He questioned; his tone harsher than before.

You scoffed and sat up. “You’re seriously making this about me missing David?”

“Well, is that what this is about?”

“You’re unbelievable,” you muttered before you stood up and started to get dressed.

“Oh, my fucking God y/n I’m sorry for whatever I said wrong while we were fucking. Can we just move on already? I don’t see what the big deal is,” he snapped.

“No, we can’t just move on. You scare me sometimes Tate like genuinely. I know you mean it all in a sweet way but it’s weird. I love you but you don’t hear me saying I’d kill people if they talked to you or looked at you a certain way. That’s not normal.”

Tate sat up. “I wish you would say those things. I wish you loved me as much as I love you. I’d do anything you ask; I would shoot up the fucking school if you wanted me to.”

You looked at him, he could see the terror and fear in your eyes. “Are you serious?”

“Of course, I am. I don’t get why you’re acting so scared. I’d never hurt you I don’t even think I could if I wanted to, you mean more to me than any person alive or dead,” he answered.

“You’re sick,” you mumbled. You grabbed your bag and walked to the door. “I think we need some time apart; you aren’t sane.”

His heart practically stopped. “What?”

“We need to stop seeing each other for a little while, I can’t take this insane shit Tate. I’m sorry. You know I love you, but I need you to get some help before I can be with you.”

Before Tate could reply, you left. All he could do was stare at the door, a million thoughts roaming his head. Did you really just break up with him? Was that it? Did you just throw away everything the two of you had because you felt his love was too strong? It didn’t feel real.

As the night progressed, he tried to call you, dozens of times. But each call was either declined or rang out. His anxiety grew with each ring of the phone. Why weren’t you replying? Who were you seeing? Did he really mean so little to you that you could leave so easily? His mind spun with scenarios, each one worse than the last. By the end of the night, he had convinced himself you were cheating on him, and the following days only worsened his state of madness.

You ignored him completely in school. Every time he tried to talk to you, you either turned away or walked away completely. It hurt him terribly. He couldn’t understand what had changed so fast. He chased you around the halls for days, trying his hardest to get your attention. But it never worked. And so, his love for you began to fade into an awful rage.

He couldn’t let you just walk away from everything the two of you shared. You were his. Only his. He couldn’t let you leave him, not like his dad. He hadn’t spent his entire life chasing you just to end up losing you. No. So, he began to formulate a plan. He’d leave you alone for a few days then calmly ask you to meet him at the beach, in the special spot he once made for you.

He wasn’t surprised that his plan worked. You were predictable.

When the night came, he made sure he was prepared. He snorted a line, packed his bag full of your favorite things, and set off. As he walked down the beach, he made sure the knife he hid was secure in his pocket. It was smaller than the one he’d used on David, but it would do the job just as efficiently.

You arrived a few minutes after him, a sad expression on your pretty face. He fought the urge to run to you with open arms.

“Thank you for coming,” he said. Only a few feet separated your bodies, he wished he could close it. But he needed to be patient.

You took a deep breath, you looked nervous. “Yeah, look Tate I... I’ve thought about it and I... I really think we should stop seeing each other for some time.”

“Why Y/N? I love you, so fucking much. I’m sorry for what I said, I can change, I won’t say shit like that ever again. I’ll be gentle, I swear. Just give me the chance I can be whatever you need me to be,” he replied desperately. He opened his bag and pulled out your favorite candy. “I love you; I really do. Please give me another chance.”

He watched your eyes fill with tears. You wanted to give in, he could see it in your eyes. But you only shook your head and wiped a fallen tear from your cheek.

“No. I’m sorry. Tate, you aren’t gentle, that’s not who you are. And I don’t want you to pretend to be someone you aren’t.”

Tate swallowed hard. “You promised me you’d never leave me; you said you were nothing like my dad. Was it all a lie?”

“Of course not!” You exclaimed and took a step closer to him. “I love you; I really do. That’s why this is so hard.”

“If you love me, why can’t we work this out? Don’t lie to me Y/N.”

He couldn’t stop his eyes from watering, nor could he stop his lips from quivering. He dug the bouquet of your favorite flowers out from his bag and held them out to you.

“Please,” he mumbled. “I need you.”

You caved. You wrapped your arms around his waist and held him tight. He could feel your muffled cries on his chest, it pained him. You were a sensitive sweet girl; it was both your blessing and curse.

“Maybe in a few months, we can try again, I don’t know.” You looked up at him with bloodshot eyes. “We just can’t be together right now. And I mean we’re going to graduate soon, and I might go to a college far away, how would that even work? But I don’t want to hurt you.”

“It’s too late for that Y/N, you’ve already hurt me.” He dropped what he was holding and dug one of his hands into his pocket. He touched your face with his other hand, your tears covering his palm. “You’ve planned on leaving me this whole time. I wanted to give it another try you’ve made up your mind. I guess it just comes down to one thing.”

“What?” You asked.

“If I can’t have you, no one can,” he whispered before he pulled out the knife and plunged it into the side of your neck.

~~~

2011

“I killed you because I loved you,” he answers. “Because you were going to leave me and find someone else.”

All you can do is stare at him in silence. You think back to everything that happened. How could you have been so blind? It couldn’t have been your fault though. He would’ve killed you anyway. You think back to all the times Tate made you uneasy, all the times he would say things that creeped you out. Deep down you must’ve known that’s who he is. Maybe you knew all along.

Maybe you loved him because of his darkness.

You exhale a long breath. “We don’t have that long till midnight.”

“So?”

You shrug. “Wanna hook up?”

[absolute-flaming-trash]

Pairing: Yandere!Alastor x Reader

SFW

Word Count: 2'627

Warnings: Yandere behaviour, Implied forced relationship, Implied captivity, Toxic relationship, Possessiveness, Invasion of personal space, Non-consensual touching.

Additional Notes: Do be kind, I have not written for this man before and find him exceedingly difficult.

Every week at the Hotel, there was something new Charlie had planned.

Trust exercises. Ice breakers. Activities meant to bring everybody closer together as a group. To try and get people to open up and show a side of vulnerability that - she believed - would help sinners take one step closer to salvation.

Most of them were awkward, and a lot of them never went as planned. A fact she realized and, after a near mental breakdown, had her promptly take advice from Vaggie and agree to try something different.

The task was very simple compared to the previous activities. She requested everybody to think about redemption and what it meant to them.

Thinking about the definition itself took little to no effort.

Redemption (noun): The action of saving or being saved from sin, error, or evil.

But it was clear that Charlie wanted more than just a quote from the dictionary. She wanted residents of the Hotel to mull over it while looking deep down into themselves so they could share their stance on the matter later on.

That was the tricky part.

From how you saw it, “saving yourself” from sin was easy enough to accomplish. ‘Just don’t be a dick and avoid the bad shit.’ was the first thought that came to mind, but where you hit a snag was based on what Charlie had shared about Heaven. According to her, even so much as breathing in Hell was enough to solidify your place in the inferno, yet she made it clear that actively resisting sin wasn’t something to go unrecognized.

It took a lot of effort, energy, and courage to do so, and it was hard to disagree even if Heaven didn’t see it that way.

Error was a bit harder. In your opinion, nobody could be saved from that, at least not entirely. Eventually, inevitably, you or someone else would do something wrong, it was just a matter of degree. It could be something as minor as bumping into somebody by accident or as major as Angel relapsing for what felt like the hundredth time, but it would happen and it was only a matter of time.

Charlie did bring up a rather good point, though. Apologizing when you realized you had done something wrong was the best thing someone could do, and it was the first step in the right direction.

You had to give her credit where it was due for that.

But evil was a different matter entirely.

Evil lurked everywhere in Hell. Across every street, around every corner, evil was out in the open for everyone to bear witness and see. None of it was hidden. None of it was meant to be hidden.

What would be the point? You and every other sinner were already in Hell - and many would argue that hiding it would be counterintuitive to being there in the first place.

Charlie tried to plead the case that everyone had good in them. A good that could be tweezed out if given the right chance, and the right environment, which the Hotel was perfect for.

You wish you could agree.

Evil was in the hotel itself, not that Charlie was fully willing to see it.

You believed she was careless there. Little Miss Bleeding Heart wanted to see the best in people, and by god did you ever want to know what it was like to see through such rose-tinted glasses, but you knew you never could. Not in this place.

Stepping a foot into the building was the worst thing you’d ever done because it showed you just how wrong you were about evil being so out in the open. It still had the ability to lurk, something you learned the moment you shook hands with Alastor.

You could see it on his face upon meeting him for the first time - the way Alastor’s perpetual grin widened upon seeing the goosebumps that lined your arms when he clasped your hand in his. No comment was ever made on the matter, but the way his lips peeled back to reveal the black of his gums before he pressed a brief kiss to your knuckles said enough.

Something utterly sinister reeked from him in a manner you couldn’t describe, so you took your own advice and applied the same thing you did when it came to sin.

Avoidance. As much as you could, at least.

Some moments were easier than others. The distinct metallic clack of Alastor’s microphone against the floor combined with a surge of radio static usually bought enough time for you to make whatever excuse you needed in order to leave before he arrived.

Other times you weren’t so lucky, and Charlie’s group meetings were usually to blame in that regard.

At first, you made a great deal of effort to put as much distance between yourself and the Radio Demon as you could, which worked for a time. Unfortunately, Alastor caught onto what you were doing much faster than you would’ve liked.

He reveled in it. You knew he did. After a while you had the gnawing suspicion he was purposefully going out of his way to make you as uncomfortable as possible for his own entertainment. You saw no other reason as to why he’d consistently move so close to you that you could literally feel him breathing down your neck.

Lately, he had adopted the skin-crawling habit of locking eyes with you the moment you stepped foot in the room and patting the seat beside him - reserved specifically for you. Accepting the gesture felt like swallowing nails, but being openly rude to Alastor was something that you knew better than to do.

Instead, you began to find excuses for skipping the meetings entirely and have Angel or Husker fill you in later, which was exactly what you were doing now.

“To be honest I wasn’t payin’ much attention,” Angel said while he scrolled through his phone, resting his chin in his upper left hand while his lower right swirled alcohol around in a glass. “Was the kind of thing that could’ve been sent in an email.”

You traced your finger around the rim of your own glass, its contents untouched. “Still, I want to know what I missed.”

“He’s right, it wasn’t anything special,” Husker replied, slinging a cloth over his shoulder from behind the bar. “Same old bullshit about salvation with a new coat of paint on top.”

A pang went through your chest, but you pushed it down. “So nothing new?”

Angel scoffed and looked up from his phone. “Trust me, dollface, you did yourself a favor.” He downed the rest of his drink in one go. “What were you doing anyways?”

“You know…” You replied with a shrug, glancing down. “I went out.”

Angel smirked, raising an eyebrow. “Out?”

“Yeah.” You tapped your nails against the edge of the glass. “Things were feeling a little claustrophobic, so I went out for some air.”

Husker made a noise in the back of his throat. “Yeah, I know how you feel, kid. This place is a mess.”

Angel tilted his head, placing his phone down on the bar and leaning forward a bit. “So where’d you go? Anywhere fun?”

“Where indeed~.”

All your movements went rigid. After a few seconds, you slowly turned your head to look over your shoulder to see Alastor standing barely a foot away from you, staring down at you with a tight, closed-lipped smile. You hadn’t heard him coming in the slightest, which you immediately could tell was intentional.

Whether he’d used his shadow or had actually stalked up behind you wasn’t something you wanted to think about, and if Angel or Husker picked up on the immediate tension, neither of them said anything about it.

“Hey, Smiles.” Angel greeted with his usual flirtation, placing the elbows of his upper arms on the bartop as he turned to face Alastor. “Fancy a drink? You look a little stiff” He gave Alastor a very long once over, “and I’ll have you know I know a few ways I can help relieve some… tension.” 

Alastor’s lips curled back to reveal his teeth, the muscle in his cheek spasming for a moment.

Mentally you were kissing Angel on the cheek for the save as you slowly picked your coat up off the bar and slipped it on, concealing the goosebumps already present on your skin. Husker gave you a glance from the side and gave a very slight shake of his head, silently advising you against your unspoken desire to leave.

“I assure you, such a thing is never going to happen.~”

“You sure?” Angel rested his lower right arm on his hip. “I have a few tricks that can loosen you up.”

The leather in Alastor’s gloves audibly squeaked as his grip tightened around the staff of his microphone and his attention immediately shifted back to you, ignoring Angel entirely.

“My dear,” His voice dripped with such a saccharine sweetness it made you feel sick, “Could I speak with you for a moment?”

Fewer combinations of words could instill such a unique feeling of encroaching dread all at once, but you refused to let it show as you nodded and turned your body on the bar stool to face him fully; waiting for him to say the first word.

His eye twitched ever so slightly.

“Privately.”

That made you swallow.

“Sure.” You slid off the bar stool, doing your best not to appear as reluctant as you felt.

“Lovely.~” He said, promptly turning on his heel and walking towards the staircase - expecting you to follow.

You glanced back towards Husker and Angel, each giving you looks of grim sympathy and confusion respectively before you took a deep breath and forced one foot in front of the other, following Alastor up the steps.

You thought he would talk along the way. Engage in some form of idle chit-chat where he’d be pulling the strings, or even hum along to the countless jazz tunes that he played in the halls over the Hotel’s sound system.

But no such music played and he remained silent. A few minutes into the walk you gathered enough courage to glance up at him and found his eyes locked straight forward, not even sparing you so much as a glance.

You averted your gaze, the hem of your sleeves suddenly the most fascinating thing you’d ever seen.

Eventually, he came to a stop, and he held out the end of his microphone to prevent you from going any further down the hallway.

“Here we are!” Rather than producing a key from his coat, a green flash emanated from the lock when he placed his hand on the handle and opened the door.

He all but leered at you as he gave a small bow that didn’t feel genuine in the slightest.

“After you.~”

Like the alleged gentleman he was, Alastor held the door open for you, eyes never leaving your form as you walked inside his suite.

The smell of dampness and soil hit you immediately.

Alastor’s suite wasn’t the worst thing you’d seen in Hell by a mile, however, it was still eerie beyond words. The skeletons that hung along the walls and mantlepiece of his fireplace became less complete and increasingly disorganized as they led further into the room - which itself gave way to a swamp-like environment halfway through. Undoubtedly a result of whatever hoodoo, voodoo bullshit he was capable of, and while it still wasn’t the worst you’d seen, it served its purpose thoroughly.

It creeped the shit out of you.

“Now, then.” Alastor clicked the door shut, his body half-facing yours as his hand still lingered on the doorknob. “I'm sure you have a good explanation for what you’ve been doing.~”

The immediate dryness in your throat was hard to ignore. You knew what he was talking about, and you knew that he knew, but you still attempted to buy some time as you tried to figure out what to do.

You cleared your throat. “I was just catching up with Angel and Husk-”

He chuckled, the sound like that of a radio shifting stations. “Don’t be coy.” His head turned towards you with a sickening, ossified crackle that bent his neck in a manner that made your stomach lurch. “You’ve been avoiding me, and I’d like to know why.”

Fuck.

“I haven’t.” Lying to Alastor was a mistake, but you still decided to risk it since it wasn’t entirely false. “There’s just been a lot on my mind recently.”

“Hmm.” Interest and something much worse flickered behind his eyes as he faced you fully with another crack of his vertebrae. “Such as~?”

You shook your head, looking away from him. “That’s private.”

There was a quick flash of red, and the tip of his microphone turned your face back towards him - the cool metal of the edge digging into the skin of your cheek. You had to bite back a grimace.

“Not when it concerns me.” His tone was sharp, a stark contrast to the faux politeness he was putting on before. He kept the tip of his microphone where it was to prevent your eyes from looking anywhere but him. “And trust me darling, when it comes to you, everything concerns me.”

His words twisted in your gut. “...I’m not sure what you mean.”

Alastor tutted, his smile widening once more. “Don’t be stupid, darling, it’s unbecoming of you.” The way he said it was patronizing, like he was scolding a child. “You know precisely what I mean, so I’m going to ask again, as much as I hate repeating myself.~”

Cool metal was replaced with the warmth of his hand as he tilted your head up and brought his face frighteningly close to yours.

“Why are you keeping yourself from me?”

It was an odd sensation. Being backed into a corner, both metaphorically and physically. A frightening one that all but yanked on your instincts to do whatever it meant to get the fuck out of there, but you knew that was the worst thing you could do.

Alastor was a predator, a creature designed to prey on those he deemed weaker, and turning your back on a predator would almost certainly trigger a series of events that would not bode well for you.

So you did the next worst thing.

You told him the truth.

“Because I can see you.” The words felt wrong to say out loud. “I can see you for what you are, I can feel the absolute malevolence that radiates off you in waves, and it’s suffocating.”

Saying any more was a horrendous idea, but you couldn’t help but add one last thing.

“And if I want any chance at leaving this god-forsaken place, I can’t be around you.”

The silence that stretched on afterward was deafening.

Mentally, you were bracing yourself. Alastor had killed people for far less, and you expected nothing different for saying something so daring to his face.

You could see it too, the anger that simmered underneath his gaze. You expected the red of his sclera to flash black and his antlers to extend with his body in a grotesque display before you were ripped to pieces while he laughed.

What you didn’t expect was for his eyes to narrow into slits and his expression shift into one that was far more genuine than you wanted it to be, and it was then you knew that being saved from this kind of evil was never going to happen.

“Oh, my dear, you don’t need to worry about something silly like that.” Alastor all but cooed.

“After all, what makes you think I’d ever let you leave?~”

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