#it’s a crime we don’t get to see him as a dad in gladiator :(

[wildsaltair]

the only time I ever think “man I wish I had kids” is (1) when Russell Crowe is talking about his sons in an interview and obviously such a good dad or (2) when a character played by Russell Crowe is being a good dad in a movie

[britishvamps]

Arranged

Prompt: None Fandom: Atiny (ATEEZ) Member: Jeong Yunho Warnings: Not really, underlying tones of sketchy deals, mention of a gun and knowledge of a crime family Word Count: 3,012 *Quick PSA: I cut it down but it's still over 3k words. This may be part of a series with the Ateez boys. This will have a series of its own and this is written for my black/POC girls 💜*

The day of your nineteenth birthday began pretty much like every typical day in your household. You were awoken at 7:30 am, went into the bathroom to have a shower. You sat back in front of your vanity, body and hair still wrapped in a towel as you moisturised your arms and legs when a knock on your door. “Come in.” You said, changing the song playing from your phone to Khalid’s ‘free spirit’ as your parents walked in. Behind them, an array of gifts were being carried in bags, and boxes followed them as they came up to hug you. “Happy birthday, sweetie.” Your mother spoke as she sat on your bed. “Happy birthday, pumpkin.” Your father whispered as he kissed your forehead before straightening out his suit and rushed back out, leaving you in your now packed room with your mother still sat on the bed. “Baby, get dressed and come meet your father and me downstairs in the dining room, okay. Dress cute.” She uttered as she arose and strutted out, her nude Louboutin heels clicking on the marble floor with each step she took before you heard the click of the door behind her.

Assuming it was another row of gifts, you dried your hair and quickly dressed in a long black flowy dress with gladiator sandals. Deciding to go semi-bare faced, you put on your lashes, did your eyebrows and put on your jewellery before you went downstairs. As you walked into the massive dining hall, one of the help came and placed a stack of hot, fluffy pancakes in front of you as two others place similar looking plates in front of your parents. “Eat up, baby. We have to go out soon to meet a few people.” Your father spoke as he skimmed over his paper whilst sipping his coffee, glancing at you as you placed a few strawberries on your plate and cut them into your pancakes. Giving a brief nod, you quickly dug in before rushing to your walk-in closet and grabbing your nude cardigan. Hopping down the stairs, your parents stood by the door with their entourage awaiting your arrival before you all bustled out and entered your respective cars. Your mother and father in one car with two guards in the front seats, you in another with three, and the rest split in two other similar looking sleek, black BMW X6′s before you set off to your location, still unknown to you. “So... where are we going, guys?” You quizzed your escorts after about 45 minutes of driving through the city, to which you got a short reply of “You’ll see when we arrive, Miss.” Rolling your eyes, you sat scrolling through the birthday wish messages from your social media as your friends posted photos from balls and events as well. “Well, seeing as nobody is going to say anything, I’m going to connect my phone to the aux.” You say as you unbuckle your seatbelt and lean forward to grab the thin black cable. Soon after, the music’s soft melodies were surrounding everyone in the car.

It was not until an hour or so later that you had begun slowing down in front of the great black gates that stood tall and proud in front of a large, pristine white coloured house. The bright green lawn and burgundy door stood out in comparison to its white canvas. As the gates to the unknown slowly opened, the silence in the area almost became deafening. It seemed virtually ghostly besides the hum of the engines that soon cut off as they reached their destination at the top of the driveway.

As you exited the vehicles, the once empty patio was now occupied by a single maid, much like Amanda. She stood, awaiting your ascent up the stairs. She leads you and your parents to a large room that could only describe what one might use for an exaggerated dinner party. On one side of the table stood a man, a woman who you assumed was his wife judging by her posture and clothing and a younger, taller male off on the side of the woman. Your mother and father walked towards them, beginning the greetings between them and the more youthful male shock their hands. Although confused, you shook their hands, bowing slightly to the younger male who seemed to have no interest in being in the same room as anyone who was actually in there already. “Hello, please sit. We have much to discuss.” The older man said, pointing towards the chairs as he took his place at the head of the table.

Confused, you remained stood up. “What is this? Where are we?” You quizzed, to which the younger male finally looked up at you, eyes curiously glancing over your figure as if trying to see if you were serious about your question or not. This gave you a chance to see him correctly and was he a sight to see. His face seemingly made by the gods themselves and his broad shoulders accentuated by his choice of suit. A grey check suit and white dress shirt with a deep black tie. “Sit (y/n). You will soon understand.” Your father’s voice spoke in a tone you haven’t heard from him before. Sitting opposite the younger male, you watched as another man, who you hadn’t noticed was even in the room, came and handed your father and the other older male a stack of papers, much like a contract. “Seriously, dad, we’re here to do business on my birthday.” You deadpanned, quite annoyed that the secrecy seemed only for another one of your father’s ‘business deals’.

“(y/n)...” Your mother started, before being cut off by your father. “(y/n), this is Mr and Mrs Jeong and their son Yunho.” As he spoke, he handed you the stack of papers as Mr Jeong handed his son a copy of your documents. Looking down at dark black ink that sat on the accumulation of white papers, sat your marriage contracts.

Thick, slabs of ivory paper perched on the deep black glass of the table, with the neatly written words staring back at you as it read ‘Legalised document of the union of the Jeong’s and the (y/l/n)’ s’. The thoughts swirling in your head were too loud as you looked up in horror, taking a glance around the table only to receive a sea of all blank faces. It became quickly apparent that you were the last one to know. Abruptly arising in anger, you practically flew out of the room, dismissing the yells of your parents and just when you had reached the door of the house, you were suddenly stopped by a sharp, curt pull on the arm, turning to be face to face with the beautiful individual who was previously sat opposite you. “I suggest you return on your own volition before I am forced to bring you back.” He spoke his face at much closer proximity than you had expected. Breathing heavily, you pulled your arm out of his hand before speaking. “If you think I am walking back into there so I can hear about how I am to get married to you on my nineteenth birthday, you, sir, have much more wrong with you than my parents do.”

As you opened the door, you were abruptly picked up and tossed over the shoulder of the man who you was to be your future husband. Screeching, you yelled to be let down, but your screams fell upon deaf ears as he walked you back into the dining room and set you down by the door before entering it and holding the door open for you to walk past. Huffing, you pushed your hair back and walked into the room, angrily throwing yourself into your chair as you listened to your parents plan the type of wedding they wanted you to have. Still angry, you zoned you into your thoughts, wondering what you possibly could’ve done in your past life to deserve such a treatment in which your own parents would ship you off to be wed to a man who, in the short hour you had known him, had already manhandled you and not left a good impression. “So, it is decided. The wedding will be in 6 months, and the two of you will be living together for that time. Get to know each other better.” Mr Jeong said, clapping his hands together as both sets of parents beamed at one another. “We will, of course, have to meet again to talk about the official taking over of my place once Yunho is wed, but until then, it seems we have a wedding to get through.” Mr Jeong finished as they all arose, shaking hands once more and to which you did not partake, just walking out. Upon entering your car, you locked the doors to ensure your parents wouldn’t try to speak to you.

“Where to, Miss (y/n)?” The driver asked, your guards back in their designated seats. “Anywhere but home. Make sure my parents don’t try to follow me.” You ordered, pulling your earphones out of your pocket and letting the lyrics of Billie Eilish consume you. It was not until two and a half hours later that you realised your destination. In this park, your parents used to take you as a child, before your father became too busy with his business to have your fortnightly picnic with you in that same park. Walking through the small, isolated area, you finally took a seat in what became your usual thinking spot. A large oak tree perched in front of the midsized artificial lake that sat in the middle of the field. Thinking back to the beginning of your day, even if you were given a thousand guesses, none would have been close to the events of today. At a mere 19 years of age, you got engaged and soon to be wed to a rude man you had known for only three long hours—a very handsome man, but a rude man nonetheless.

The sun was still shining brightly in the afternoon, but there was a clear breeze. You had been sat there for much longer than you had anticipated as your stomach grumbles, indicating that it was time to start heading back. Dreading the drive back, you slowly walked back towards the car where one of your guards, Eric, was holding a bag of takeout and a drink. “Figured you’d be hungry, Miss (y/n).” He smiles and hands you the food and drink before opening the car door, letting you slide in.

Two months had passed, and your parents had decided that it would be best to announce your engagement during one of your father’s trimonthly “fundraisers”. At this time, you and Yunho had only interacted when your parents and the Jeong’s visited and even then, the interactions were curt and almost business-like themselves. You slept in separate rooms and continued to live very individual lives; you, unaware of the back alley dealings and Yunho, preparing to take over his father’s “business.” All your friends were super excited that you were living with such a cute guy and started making plans to go wedding dress shopping but if only they knew the truth; that it was nothing more than a business deal.

You had to go shopping with Yunho for a matching dress and suit, both your parents joined making sure it was going well. You had entered another boutique, the employees running around trying to find a dress to match Yunho’s burgundy suit that he had seen almost instantaneously after visiting the first store, you, however, seemed to have no intentions to finding a dress, enjoying the complimentary champagne and strawberries you were getting served. “(y/n) you need to take this seriously. This is a good thing.” Your mum spoke, grabbing the champagne flute from your hand before pulling you up. In front of you was an assortment of dresses in the same colour as Yunho’s suit. Rolling your eyes, you ran your hands over the materials of the dresses, ranging from silk to velvet. You stopped at a silk dress with gold detailing, pulling it from the rack and holding it to your body. “Perfect choice, miss (y/n). This will look amazing on you.” The employee complimented. You walked into the changing area and put on the dress, instantly falling in love with the way it looked. You walked out to see your mum, and Yunho’s mum watches you in awe. “That’s the dress. You look beautiful, darling. This is the one.” Mrs Jeong spoke, signalling towards an employee. “Go get changed; I’ll go pay for this, and then we can get brunch and start discussing the wedding.” And just like that, the perfect moment came crashing down with reality.

A few weeks had passed, and it was the day of the ball. Everything was decorated to a T; the drinks fountains looked taller than you as they sat on the tables with filled champagne flutes roaming around as people started arriving. You and Yunho were in the study with your parents, receiving another lecture about acting like a couple. "Yunho, (y/n), please. Try acting more like a couple. Hold hands, maybe a kiss or something." His father sighed, watching the two of you practically glaring at one another from across the room. "I do not remember signing up for this." You groaned, seeing your parents glare at you before you stood up, trying to walk to the door. "(y/n) sit down. This marriage is for the best for the both of you." Your mother muttered, watching your every move. "The marriage is happening; the best thing you can do is try and make it as enjoyable as you can." Your father announced, ending the conversation as he put on his suit jacket, turning and nodding to Yunho before he began walking out. "I will do my part for tonight but do not expect me to act as if this was of my volition." You notified, pushing past him, the tail of your dress flowing behind you.

The party was in full swing when your parents had begun getting everyone's attention as they started announcing your betrothal. "Ladies and gentlemen. We have some exciting news. In a few months, my son will be getting married." Exclaimed Mr Jeong, receiving several cheers and claps from guests. With his hand out, Yunho walked towards where you and your parents were stood before taking your hand and placing a gorgeous diamond engagement ring on it. This caused an uproar of cheers, and he leant into you. "Keep this up, and one might think you actually like me." You whispered as you faked a smile, giving Yunho a quick side look before smiling back at the guests.

After you descended the stairs, your girlfriends began asking about 'the mysterious fiancee'. As if those words were his summoning, a hand snaked around your waist, causing you to force a smile as you looked up at him. "I heard I was being looked for." He smiled, planting a kiss on your temple. One would've actually believed you were a couple if they did not look too close. "Yes, girls, this is Yunho. Yunho, these are my best friends." Each of them not so subtly giving you approving looks as they shook his hand. "Pleasure. But I must steal away my beautiful fiancee." He charmed, to which they immediately sent you both off with a giggle and a wink. Yunho led you into a room in the back, immediately dropping his arm from your waist the second the door closed. "Why are we in here when the party and alcohol are out there?" You chided. Rolling his eyes, he unbuttoned his suit jacket. "We need to talk. You can't avoid me, so this the best place." He began, sitting in one of the chairs. "What do you know about your father's business?"

"He owns a few restaurants, some buildings and some shipping companies; I don't know. Why do you ask?" You quizzed, also sitting down. Yunho let out an incredulous laugh, leaning back. "Baby, that is far from the truth. Where we like it or not, we're going to be wed, so time to lay out a few truths. Our fathers are both the heads of two very powerful crime syndicates. Our marriage is an alliance to which we will both gain a lot. We may not see eye to eye, but you will be my wife, and I promise no harm will come your way." He said, staring at your face as it contorts to one of confusion and shock. Suddenly it was all making sense; the late-night work meetings, the cryptic conversations and the constant need to have guards. "I- This is crazy! It all kind of makes sense, but I can't be marrying a- a criminal." You rushed, standing up quickly. "Listen, I am telling you to warn you. We will never be 100% safe, and better you find out than during a situation that may involve me bringing my gun." He spoke as if this whole thing was normal. "Look, we can talk about this after the party. We disappear for too long, and people might think we're doing something, and we wouldn't want that now, would we love?" He smirked, straightening his suit before he sauntered out, leaving you stood in the room alone with your thoughts. Letting out a shocked laugh, you fixed your dress, faked a smile and walked back out to the enormous hall where Yunho was seemingly deep in conversation with your friends. You looked around, the news of your father's business partners not being as legit as they seem to change your perspective of each and every member in the room. Your father's head of management for his buildings and hotels you no longer regarded as your godfather; your driver no longer felt like he had just that one job.

Tag list: @helwegen @yunhobabygurl If anyone else wants to get tagged, please just message me or leave it below :)

[galaeus]

OKAY AS PROMISED HERE IS THE VERY DISORGANIZED BULLETPOINT MASTERLIST OF 

“HOW I FEEL ECHO J. GALAEUS WOULD GET ON WITH THE CANON CHARACTERS OF MASS EFFECT”

long post so you can read it under the cut. (in order of me1 to me2)

THE COUNCIL / ALLIANCE

lmfao absolutely not, she cannot stand those hypocritical donuts

also fun fact, her dad left Contraxia and wound up serving the alliance on a refugee grant leaving his child and baby mama to rot so that’s a lot of baggage to be had

COMMANDER SHEPARD

This is completely up in the air because there are a ton of Shepards on indie and they’re all unique and fantastic, but I will drop that Echo respects fighters. Shepard is a fighter and a strong willed person, so I don’t doubt that she’d respet the shit out of any Commander.

ASHLEY WILLIAMS

Debatable. Ashley has a pretty strong background of family and religion and Echo tends to shun her Contraxian culture/has little to no feeling when it comes to her own family ties back home. They may be something of adversaries given they are both strong-willed and outspoken individuals.

KAIDAN ALENKO

Echo is pretty neutral to Kaidan, but given her ties with Cerberus, I don’t think he would be neutral with her. Dude certainly believes in a cause and she can respect that, but I don’t know if he would want to associate with her. Plus there’s that pesky problem she has with Alliance so they will most likely butt heads.

LIARA T’SONI

Echo is more than likely very intimidated by how smart Liara is (that woman is wicked intelligent) but that wouldn’t necessarily be any reason for her not to speak with Liara. They both have mommy issues, so that’s a bonus. If anything, she finds Liara to be a very brave and honorable individual so she’s equal parts nervous around her as well as respectable.

GARRUS VAKARIAN

This is a tough one and it depends on the timeline. With her father being Alliance, she tends to not think too highly about C-Sec. However, they both have major daddy issues to deal with, so maybe that’s enough to bring neutral ground. He’s a ruthless fighter and she respects the hell out of any fighter she comes across.

ME2 Archangel status, I do enjoy the concept that she knew of him/perhaps even crossed paths with him when she was in the midst of her gig as a hunter-for-hire on Omega before Cerberus snatched her up. She has a bit of a revenge list of old ring-runner/betting pools she’s tracking down for soul-sake that she wants murdered, so I wonder if she’d come to him for help? Otherwise they’d meet on the Normandy. Turians/Contraxians like fighting, so that’s A+.

URDNOT WREX

I seriously do not doubt that Echo and Wrex have stumbled into each other at some point or another. He’s a Krogan, Krogans love Contraxia’s lawless wasteland of fighting and chaos, so I feel as though they would have a pretty interesting bond. Bonus points if he actually knew her when she was a fighter on Contraxia!

TALI’ZORAH

Granted she’s intimidated by very smart people (see: Liara) but I think her and Tali have the opportunity to get along great. Quarians and Contraxians are treated as second-class citizens, so I think she would want to make an alliance with Tali strictly due to the fact that their people are very much frowned upon in most corners of the universe.

JOKER

For the love of god do not make puns around her or she will break the coffee machine.

MIRANDA LAWSON

MISS MIRANDA, DID YOU PICK UP ECHO FROM OMEGA ON BEHALF OF THE ILLUSIVE MAN?

Ok but in all seriousness Echo digs that Miranda has zero qualms with stating that she’s the best at what she does because while Echo is shameful of the people she’s murdered (hello, 33 very personal deaths in the gladiator arena) she also knows she is highly capable at what she’s good at. They have both been used and abused in many different ways, so I’d be curious if they had a partnership grow for those little things or if they would butt head strictly on the principle that Miranda is pretty poised and Echo is... not. I would love to explore it.

JACOB TAYLOR

ALLIANCE DADDY ISSUES UNITE. Okay but can they please bond over the fact that their dads were in Alliance and, while he joined Alliance to follow his legacy, Echo basically got the shit end of the stick as a gladiator? Plus he’s super skilled at fighting. I think she’ll like him.

GRUNT

Again, like Wrex, I have a feeling Echo will like Grunt. Krogans love fighting and they love Contraxia’s nature and debauchery, so I think eventually they would warm up to one another and be amicable.

MORDIN SOLUS

Mordin talks much too fast and confusing for Echo to understand him but she appreciates his matter-of-fact nature -- even if it takes her a while to get used to it. Echo tends to take a lot of things literally, so it works out that it’s so neat and plain in front of her when they speak.

JACK

heart eyes motherfucker

No seriously these two both have bodies painted with ink that talk about their past and I SCREAM about it. However, Echo’s champion mark tattoos were involuntary, but she was allowed to choose the design after a kill/winning fight. Jack was also involuntarily held for so much of her childhood just as Echo was held against her will to fight against her peers as she grew up, so they have some very fucked up childhood problems to comb through. They both have really intense viewpoints of the world and tend to be loners, so I would love to see if they royally hate each other or if they become complete and utter nuisances on the galaxy.

KASUMI GOTO

She’s gonna be super gay for Kasumi and think she’s like the greatest person to talk to I can already feel it in my bones and I am so sorry for the simping that could be had here.

LEGION

Oh god has Contraxia ever even been bothered by the Geth? I have no idea. It would be interesting if she came into meeting him with an open mind, because he is an interesting character. Plus there is always the battle of ‘we are legion’ vs her individualistic nature, so I think it would be a neat dynamic to explore.

THANE KRIOS

She knows of him. Like I guarantee she knows of him because his skill would be revered where she’s from (Contraxians really put assassins/fighters on the top of their respect list) and I think because of that, she would be open to discussing her former life. Plus there is almost... repentence? in getting to know Thane? He hates what he’s done just as much as she loathes what she had to do in order to survive her life as a gladiator, so I wonder if she would actually get spiritual and real with him behind closed doors where the rest of the crew cannot hear the crimes she’s committed against humanity.

SAMARA

Big gay and scared of you. That’s all I can say about her right now skdfjsf

ZAEED MASSANI

I have a feeling these two have definitely crossed paths, even if it was before the Normandy. They’re both bounty hunters (though her assassin/hunter stint was short-lived given Cerberus picked her up for their own usage) and they’ve both been scarred by war in one way or another, so I’m curious to see if they become neutral acquaintances.

TIM / THE ILUSIVE MAN

While indebted to him for picking her up in the middle of Omega running around as a hunter-for-hire, she is fearful she traded one cage for another. That being said I think she’d buy into whatever he was telling her to do and do it without questioning because it’s better than what her old life used to be.

[plounce]

do u have any reccomendations for how to read only comics involving rictor and shatterstar?? i used to be into marvel comics so i am immune to the usual comic shenanigans but i would like to learn more about these boys

here is a guide to reading xmen comics for rictor and shatterstar, my favorite canon comics couple! they were the first on-panel gay kiss in a marvel comic! they’re very special to me!

OKAY SO... ok. for anyone else using this, here’s a standard disclaimer that obviously there’s gonna be a lot in these that just absolutely sucks because 1. the 90s, 2. comics are an extremely cishet white male dominated industry. i do not vouch for everything written in these comics, but i think the gaycoding that eventually gets canonized is worth wading through a lot of stupid bullshit and very ugly art.

quick backstory on these two: rictor is a mexican teenager who was kidnapped by an anti-mutant terrorist group and was rescued by x-factor (the original 5). he hung around their auxiliary teen group the x-terminators for most of x-factor, being a delightful little punk (wearing a sleeveless leather vest a lot of the time!) and hanging out with boom-boom (who i love) and then got put into the new mutants for a very short time (where he had a thing with rahne/wolfsbane), before it was dissolved and transformed into x-force when rob liefeld took over the title. rictor hates team leader 90sdude cable because he thinks cable killed his dad in front of him. he tends to be the snarky asshole on the team.

the first part of this article has a lot of little rictor moments i’m not covering here. if you want the full rictor experience, check out x-factor (1986) and !x-terminators! x-factor starts very slowly but it picks up and improves when the simonsons take the helm.

rictor left the team. shatterstar was introduced by liefeld - he’s an Emotionless Warrior Guy Who Loves To Fight from mojoworld (a planet run by a despot who produces tv. it’s Commentary), where he was forced to be a gladiator from birth and doesn’t know a lot of earth customs and doesn’t have emotions (or rather, he represses them). 

x-force (1991) feel free to read through all of it, but in case you just want to skip to these two, all of these issues have one or two good little Moments - just do some skimming. i tend to focus more on rictor than star in this era because star is made more interesting than Emotionless Warrior Guy by butting up against rictor:

13-16 (rictor rejoins his old new mutants friends)

19, 21-26 (the first phase of their relationship where they don’t really get along. in one of these issues rictor stares at star’s ass. big moment of star being autism-coded in here too)

29-30 (rictor drives shatterstar around and they seem to get along better, you get to learn a bit about star’s past, adam-x the x-treme is there)

32-33 (just some little moments of them hanging out, a couple good rictor lines)

34 (VERY IMPORTANT - rictor backstory issue! AND this has the first big Subtext moment: shatterstar reveals he learned spanish from tv so he and rictor can have “conversations of a highly -- personal nature” HELLO?)

35 (some little moments where you can see star and rictor are now Friends and star is affected by that friendship)

39-40 (more good friendship - rictor asks if star has been watching dating shows and they just seem close. rictor also has gotten a haircut! we learn shatterstar’s mojoworld designation! they ride some motorcycles!)

43 (VERY IMPORTANT - the two go to a club. rictor tells star he’s a virgin then asks him if he has a dick. i am not kidding this literally happens. star learns what sexual attraction feels like and says ‘i don’t know what emotions im supposed to attach to that’, and rictor tells him he’ll help him learn.)

44 (VERY IMPORTANT - rictor leaves the team because he doesn’t want to have the team communicate telepathically (VERY interesting for a character who is eventually revealed to have been a closeted gay man). shatterstar begs him not to leave - “you’re my best and only friend.” rictor tells him that if he ever needs him, he’ll come back.)

cable (1993) #22 (follows up directly on rictor leaving the team - star accompanies rictor to the airport and has a lot of Feelings and has great hair. “julio. one last time. please, change your mind. what am i going to do without you?” oh so you’re dependent on your best friend who you’re in love with? oh?)

45, 47-48 (star’s weird biology, star brings up rictor as his emotional touchstone in a situation where he isn’t relevant at all. also, a plotline where tabby gets treated terribly by her friends and the narrative!)

49 (VERY IMPORTANT - star wanders around at night wondering why rictor hasn’t contacted him yet. he goes to the club he and rictor went to in #43 and turns down a girl who hits on him. he thinks “i miss julio...” (in an earlier issue, rictor tells cable not to call him by his first name - “only my mom calls me that”), then beats up some homophobes in an alley. I AM NOT KIDDING.)

51-52 (51 has more weird star biology. 52 has two pages of star and james talking that is a nice look at star’s developing emotional state - the rest of 52 is a fight with one of marvel’s extremely fatphobic villains, just a warning to skip the rest of it. although the letter page of 52 has someone go HEY ARE RICTOR AND SHATTERSTAR IN LOVE? thank you roeland looman from the netherlands)

54-56 (the start of shatterstar’s weird bad benjamin russell backstory that is quickly forgotten, disregarded, and uncared about by everybody. BUT in 54, there is some extremely loud subtext where star’s feelings for rictor are explicitly compared to a het romance subplot!)

58 (star is very chill and flamboyant for like two pages, it’s great)

59-61 (VERY IMPORTANT - rictor returns because star Needs him in the midst of his identity crisis!! it’s so joyful and sweet for them both, and the subtext is so LOUD here - there’s just. so much going on, i won’t describe it all, but it’s very good content and their emotionally intimate relationship is very apparent - really excellent gaycoding. the weird shatterstar backstory wraps up circuitously and to no great effect, but the art in the last issue is very nice, and rictor’s plain and uncomplicated concern for star is great.)

63-65 (some little moments - shatterstar and rictor time travel and beat up some nazis, star has a lovely conversation with siryn,)

x-force/cable ‘97 (the team goes to asgard! the important thing is that star says some goofy “ah... warriors...” things, and then rictor teases star for liking delivery pizza. it’s very charming)

67 (they hang out with tabby in a van. shatterstar has pigtails!)

70 (VERY IMPORTANT - rictor and shatterstar exit the team together to go take down rictor’s crime family in mexico! they seem very devoted to each other. shatterstar’s hair is all the way down!)

post leaving x-force:

76 (VERY IMPORTANT - ricstar return for one issue - rictor gets held captive to force shatterstar to fight domino!)

x-force annual 1999 (VERY IMPORTANT - ricstar get their own story about what they’re doing in mexico! shatterstar has an ugly little goatee, but rictor looks great! they choose to share a room rather than sleep separately and then it kind of feels like they shared a bed! rictor has learned star’s alien language! they genuinely just seem so close and comfortable with each other, it’s incredible.) (if you’re using RTO, it’s within the rest of xforce’s issues)

they’re both in comics limbo for the first half of the 00s besides a couple random flavorless appearances. shatterstar at some point goes back to mojoworld to help with the war against mojo. then we hit peter david’s x-factor run in 2006, known as x-factor investigations (xfi). this directly follows the “house of m” event - what matters is that the vast majority of mutants have been depowered by the scarlet witch. rictor is one of them.

rictor is a main character of the team from the first issue (the series opens with him about to attempt suicide), so if you wanna read the run you can start from the beginning. x-factor is... well, there are worse-written comics. it’s an okay read, but i find PAD’s writing insufferable a lot of the time (he writes multiple man as a pretty blatant self insert, and literally every girl on the team wants to fuck him at some point or another). i read the whole thing and it’s decent comics, but you might want to skip to the ricstar.

PAD canonizes ricstar, which is great! but unfortunately: 1. he writes star as  “slutty bisexual just can’t stop wanting to fuck people besides his partner who is uncomfortable with that!”, which is biphobic and sucks hugely, especially since it feels so different from xforce original shatterstar (see this post). rictor also just seems so annoyed with him all the time, which also sucks - they’re best friends!! let rictor like his boyfriend!!

anyway. if you choose not to read all of xfi, here are the ricstar highlights:

first issue of xfi for rictor's horrible mental state after m-day

14 (jamie implies that star would be jealous of rictor hanging out with quicksilver)

43, 45, 49 (star reappears!! he’s mindcontrolled, but it gets fixed, and he and rictor have the first ever on panel gay kiss at marvel!! yaaaay!! then they talk about their relationship a little)

after issue #50 it changes the numbering, so if you’re using RCO youll have to go to xfactor (1986) #200 to continue

200 (SHATTERSTAR FIGHTS THE THING!)

continue to read between here for star apparently being unable to stop kissing people. sigh. star sleeps with adult layla, which... sigh. whatever

207-208 (rictor and shatterstar semi-resolve the stupid biphobic plotline, resolve to work on their relationship, rahne discovers them (she and rictor had been sleeping together earlier in xfi), rahne is pregnant and homophobic, rahne and star fight, star is a delightful bitch)

209 (shatterstar on a pirate ship. that's it)

210 (rictor confirms that he is gay and it wasn’t legit when he’s been with women. there’s a moment where it's like "oh star makes rictor laugh" which is epic)

211-212 (star is said to be frustrated about rictor and rahne, rahne’s baby’s actual dad is revealed)

213 (rictor and rahne mostly resolve their shit)

216 (star and monet hang out, star thinks monet tells him to pee on rictor, spiderman is there)

217 (there’s a joke about the longstanding theory that longshot and star are related, monet is revealed as muslim in a very dumb way)

220 (star and rahne have a pretty nice conversation about their relationships to rictor and rahne’s faith. rictor does an offscreen internalized homophobia)

221 (star and rahne continue to hang out but it’s not as good as the previous issue.)

222 (oh my god, rictor cares about shatterstar being hurt! rahne owns up to how she kind of treated rictor like shit!)

pop over to avengers: the children’s crusade (a young avengers miniseries with good ol’ billy/teddy and i like it! but if you don’t want to read the whole thing - rictor and shatterstar appear in #6, and rictor is the first mutant to be repowered! they’re more tender with each other over their five page appearance than they are in xfi, so it’s a balm)

225-226 (PAD decides the first thing rictor does with his powers is be a scab [DEEP SIGH], rictor and shatterstar discuss rictor getting his powers back, the biphobic plotline is resolved again kind of in a very PAD-y way)

235-236 (shatterstar gets to be the main character of a mini arc. fights a mojo guy)

238 (ricstar go with rahne to help her find her son)

242 (they find her son. not as important imo)

248 (oh my god... they joke together :) they like being around each other :) also shatterstar goodboy moment. then in 249 rictor’s life is spared bc of shatterstar’s goodboy moment)

259 (SHATTERSTAR’S CRAZY CONVOLUTED BACKSTORY THAT ACTUALLY MATTERS TO HIS CHARACTER! YAHOO! and star has a cute little bob)

after xfi wraps up, there’s a couple years of limbo before they appear in secret warriors (2017) #2-3 (end of #2 and most of #3), which is a big crossover event or something. i don’t know, it’s an inhumans comic, and as an xmen person i am contractually obligated to roll my eyes at the inhumans. ricstar both have mustaches, star doesn’t speak, and rictor has the ugliest costume ever (green tracksuit with no socks??) (tabby also has a terrible costume). it’s just more inhumans trying to be a match to the xmen and utterly failing to not look & act like total jackasses (except, of course, for kamala and moon girl). rictor’s jokes that daisy johnson should get more original powers (she also has seismic powers - rictor predates her!), and then daisy blows up the xmen’s jet. while it’s in the air. this is a very neat summary of most mutant-inhuman relations.

now we enter the current era of “on again off again” relationship limbo.

rictor appears next in iceman (2017). in #9 he states that he and star have apparently broken up offscreen! and then he hits on bobby! sina grace is a cool person but this writing decision is so... aghhh. the next issue he and bobby go out on a date and he’s immediately like “yeah i only have my eyes on star”, so it seems to be more “it’s complicated” than “we’re broken up for good.” he sticks around to help out with a mission in #10-11.

they’re on again in new mutants: dead souls, where rictor is a part of the team and he’s hilarious and has so many great lines! shatterstar also makes a couple cameos throughout and they’re all super sweet! they seem very domestic and comfortable and happy, i love their dynamic in this. my favorite shatterstar panel ever is in #6, where he is making rictor pancakes and is only wearing an apron. please ignore all the big plot things that happen at the end of this, especially everything with karma. they are stupid, dumb, and do not matter.

related to nm:ds, rictor appears in multiple man #1 as part of that team and looks very very cute. and he isn’t whitewashed like in nm:ds!

off again in the shatterstar (2018) miniseries. i have a lot of mixed feelings about this because i LOVE all the rictor stuff, the first issue codes shatterstar as autistic in a very characterful way, it doesn’t whitewash rictor for once, and the covers are GORGEOUS! but it also attempts to retcon a ton of star’s emotional backstory AND arc set out in xforce, casting a black woman as his emotionally manipulative ex. also star is a landlord (ew). my advice with this one is to treat all the flashbacks as not-really-canon since they suck.

star appears in extermination (2018) #3-4 and gets mind-controlled into trying to kill the time-displaced teen o5 (timetraveling baby cable is trying to put them back where they came from), and the art looks great and i feel really bad for him. rictor makes a follow-up cameo in uncanny x-men (2019) #9-10, where you can see that he’s at the school in order to visit shatterstar since he’s with cecelia reyes. he then goes to fight nate grey/x-man, where he gets sucked into the age of x-man pocket universe/event.

around half the xmen get trapped and brainwashed in that pocket universe where there is no love or family, merely friendship and comradery (it’s an attempt by nate grey to ‘fix’ the xmen by getting rid of all the soap opera stuff - it’s a bit meta wrt how xmen are the soap opera superheroes). there are a couple different titles for this event: rictor appears in age of x-man: x-tremists #4-5. people have mixed feelings about this title due to the gay characters (northstar and iceman) enforcing no-romance laws that very intentionally parallel anti-gay laws from real life, but rictor is just chilling and running an illegal romance movies theatre, and then he gets drunk and then starts a riot and he’s just delightful in this.

everyone outside of the pocket universe thinks everyone who disappeared was killed. shatterstar is part of the team in x-force (2019) (there are two 2019 x-forces: this is vol 5, written by ed brisson) who are trying to track down young cable (baby cable, or “bable”), who killed older cable, who formed good old 90s xforce. boom-boom is the best part of this entire run, hands down. the art is expressive and interesting but i Hate how they draw warpath (the one time he’s free from comic book limbo!). shatterstar is in full “i only like fighting please let me fight i am a difficult asshole” mode, and talks about grieving rictor in #7 and #10. this is never really resolved since age of x-man is thrown over for hoxpox (BIG status quo changes & current era of xmen comics), but aside from my little ricstar heart i can’t really mind.

rictor is currently appearing as part of the team in excalibur (2019), and has been very... cozy... with apocalypse. at the time of writing (halloween 2020), it’s very heavily ambiguous what exactly their relationship is besides “intense” and i still have no clue what to think about it. he and star have been stated by the writer to be exes, but i also know tini howard is a ricstar fan so im holding out for good things! and it’s cool that rictor is getting a ton of focus and a lot of powering up. i remember reading xfi #1 and being amazed at how rictor described how soul-deep his earth powers were and wanting more of that, and excalibur has that for him in spades. (i am still withholding a lot of judgment wrt rictor’s writing in excalibur until i see how things pan out)

after reading to excalibur #12, switch over to x-factor (2020). read the first three issues because i love northstar and prodigy and rachel. please ignore a couple cringe comments towards poor daken. shatterstar appears in #3, trapped on mojoworld, getting traumatized, and breaking my heart as i write this. that last data page... free my boy!!!!

after x-factor #3, read x of swords: creation. more rictor and apocalypse being Close. after that, read x-factor #4 for apocalypse being very Attached to rictor, and then rictor looking very good and freshly resurrected. then continue reading excalibur. in may, x-factor is going back to mojoworld!!

that’s all there is so far! i think within the next year there will be even more content for us, and im very eager to get to that content. i will update this post as things come out.

[popculturebuffet]

Jake Reviewcaps Stuff: X-Men Evolution: The X-Impulse

Two of the series most popular characters, and one of its’ more popular ships: Jean and Xavier try to lead kitty away from charming asshole Avalanche whose trying to use her for crimes, but have trouble due to having taken stupid pills before this episode. Meanwhile Kurt and Scotty follow Logan as he confronts Sabertooth for the first time and gets cars thrown at him. No really. Abusive Romance, Flying Cars, and probable Gilmore Girls refrences under the cut. 

So yeah i’m doing another one already. This pace MIGHT slow eventually, as I want to get through the show faster.. but this episode gave me a ton of material to work with so I wanted to strike while the iron was hot. So as I mentioned last time the show started with slowly shoveling characters in one at a time, giving each time for focus and to breathe a bit. So with Nightcrawler and Toad out of the way it’s time for Shadowcat and Avalanche.. who happen to be one of the biggest ships for this show.. and also one some don’t like. Me, i’ll form an opinon as I go as I don’t remmeber much of them together other than him trying to join the x-men in one episode, so we’ll see. For now it’s time for some X-Impulse. Wait isn’t impulse dc? Is there a marvel character named that too? 

Yup there is! Two in fact, but somehow one is x-men related. This is impulse a member of the Shiar imperial guard I entirely forgot about because there’s like 40 or 50 diffrent members and he’s not one of hte more promeinet ones. For those who’ve never heard of these guys there the elite superpowered muscle for the Shiar Empire, an intergalactic empire whose former empress Charles Xavier dated for a while after dethroning her brother and who serve either as allies to our heroes or people for them to beat up depending on if someone sane is in charge that day or not, and who often have members killed to show off some new baddy, hence why there’s been three impulses apparently.

 Their based on the less military, more heroic and more fleshed out if still hugely sized,  legion of superheros from dc, which Guard co-creator David Cockrum was one of the  most famous artists for and originally actually CREATED Nightcrawler as a legionnaire, but he was rejected for being too demonic and thankfully recycled into the rougish religious elf we know today. The Guard were as far as I can tell made as a wink and a nod toward that and a gentle jab at the competition and is far from the first or last time either side would make characters based on the other side. I also bring up the Shiar because despite being a sizeable part of the X-Men mythos in the comics.. they’ve BARELY been used outside them. Cartoon wise only the 90′s series used them, though to be fair....

Given Evolution had both hinted at exterterstials apparently, and was planning on doing the Phoenix Saga in season 5, so they MIGHT have used them eventually, but I somehow doubt it and WOlverine and the X-Men didn’t live long enoguh to even consider it. As for the movies they were considered too ungrounded for them and thus were basically exiled from appearing on film for 20 years. Now the Shi’ar aren’t perfect characters, the fact before he took the throne himself Gladiator would just obey whatever assshole took the reigns due to some misguided loyalty didn’t help, but they could be used intrestingly and the guard are at least intresting in a fight, so it is a shame they couldn’t be used till recently and hopefully with the fox merger the mcu will put them to use at some point. Also for those curious if they showed up in any other cartoons.. nope. According to wikipedia, their mentioned in Avengers; Earth’s Mighteist Heroes (Which will also be covered here some day) and Legion (probably too though also probably not episode by episode if I do), and show up in two of the video games, with Ultimate Alliance being the biggest role outside of the 90′s cartoon from the looks of it, having the well, alliance, head to shiar space to get the mkrann crystal and battle with the guard and deathbird. Anyway, i’ve spent enough time on this weird sidebar, let’s get on with the actual episode!  We open with a pretty good scene. We meet Kitty Pryde, your average teen whose having a weird flying nightmare.. emphasis on weird as it is a bit wonky, but the idea is fine enough.. as is the result where she finds herself having fallen to the basement and FELT it, her panicked parents coming down and Kitty only being able to sob about having fell, her mom putting it off to sleepwalking.. until her dad notices her pillow and blanket fused into the celing above, which only makes the poor girl more upset. It’s a good, tense scene and a reminder that wether your mutant powers are benign or not.. having them awaken can still be traumatic as hell, and uses this world NOT having them be a public concern well: Kitty has NO IDEA what’s happening to her, no one to turn to and is understandabily terrified. For all she knows her body is breaking down and she might not be tangible again, not an unresonable fear given her comics counterpart once ended up in that very situation due to taking some heavy damage in battle from an energy charged harpoon.. from a guy named harpoon because even Claremont had an off day with names sometimes. My point is it’s a very good scene. Naturally Charles notices from cerebro.. and with a weird computer thing that somehow fully researchs who she is because tha’ts not creepy, but It is somewhat understandable. Cue the credits.  We then get a REALLY pointless throwaway scene with Kurt, now having’ been at school for long enough to be late several times apparently, late again and running into Mystique, in her guise as principal before Scott thankfully rescues him. Why Mystique is confronting her son like this I dunno, but what I really don’t is why this scene is here at all. It could’ve easily been replaced with a throaway line about Charles only wanting to have one student miss midterms or not wanting to arouse too much suspcion with the facultiy by taking too many of the kids out of school. Instead we just get this scene to establish their home. And yes they could’ve just needed to fill out the episode.. but there’s plenty of ways, that i’ll mention later, this minute of screentime could’ve been used better and we really didn’t need a whole scene of them to set up that they’d be home for their subplot this episode.  Back in scene’s that actually matter, Kitty is trying to sneak off to school but her mom stops her, with her family apparently having agreed to keep her home but Kitty just wants some normalcy and her family won’t even talk about it, so her mom relucntantly agrees. I can’t blame Kitty: even if it’s a terrible idea to go to school while she has no idea what’s happening to her and can’t control it as far as she knows.. she’s also a scared kid whose body is changing in ways she can’t fully grasp, and unlike puberty, which mutation is a mild metaphor for, there’s no deep years of study on it or how it changes a body: she has no idea what’s going on and just wants to grasp onto SOMETHING normal while she’s clearly not. It’s some well done character stuff.  Meanwhile  Jean and Chuck are on their way to what i’m assuming is that same old place, sweet home Chicago since that’s where Kitty is from in the comics and they had to fly there anyway. Jean questions why her.. out of the three junior x-men so far she’s the least intresting. Charles explains he thinks she can reach Kitty which.. makes some sense. Jean is uber popular at school, easy to get along with and endlessly nice, so she’s a good choice. Another likely part of it, and why not scott, is scott’s powers: it’s a lot easier to sell her parents on powers doing good with someone who can lift objects versus someone whose constantly cursed to never open his eyes, and this way kurt has his buddy back home so he dosen’t feel lonely his first time without his new dad. Now granted I question why STORM didn’t come with them, as she seems like a good choice and it’d be a nice nod to her bond with kitty in the comics, but I suspect it was simply easier to just have two x-men to focus on. Maybe she was busy getting Evan for two episodes down the line...

So then we get.. Charles being really, REALLY dumb.. like out of character dumb. See in the comics when the X-Men came to recurit kitty, they all came in civlian clothes, though ironically Jean wasn’t with them for the initial meeting because even more ironically she, Scott and Kurt were split off into their own group to try and recruit Dazzler, and Charles was nice and polite about it and promoted the school as well. a school. Granted Kitty’s parents didn’t know about her phasing here and Emma Frost was also trying to recurit kitty for HER school for gifted youngsters.. but still, there’s NO reason for Charles not to use that sort of pitch to get into the door, especially since as we learn in the scene after this Kitty’s a straight A student, retaining her deep intelgence from the comics, so there’s an easy foot in the door before he drops the mutant part in. Instead he just casually mentions he tracked her that he’s diffrent and comes off really fucking creepy and naturally they say fuck no to that. LIke.. how do they know he’s not with the goverment or forming a teen militia or just a pedophile who happens to be a mutant.. they do not and their already scared. So chuck gets a well earned door to the face. And thus I get to introduce a new running gag: The Chuck, you Blockhead, Count,. Now granted the obvious name may be the xavier is a jerk count, which i’ll probably also do but that’s more for being an asshole, like he often is due to poor writing or currently pragmatisim in the comic. No no this is for when Chuck is just out an out an idiot. Plus I love a good Charlie Brown refence so Chuck,  You Blockhead Count: 2 It’s at 2 since we also have last episode where Toad showed up with his own uniform, and attacked kurt.. and Charles did nothing and questioned nothing about that. And now I mentioned that other count Xavier is Jerk Count: 1 The Scott thing is more in character but for having his test be.. have a grown woman chase a teenager with Lightning. Storm was involved too but I doubt she’ll be an asshole as much so she’s safe for now. So having throughly botched it Xavier decides to have them split up, gang: Xavier will go to social services to find out more about lance since he’s an orphan, while Jean will infiltrate the school. Now while watching this I questioned why no one in school at all questioned a random teenager they never met roaming the halls.. but odds are jean just used her telepathy to either make anyone who saw her think she belonged there or masked her self from them seeing her, the latter being a signiture move of both jean and her teen self brought to the present because complicated bollocks, so fair enough. I also thought charles was just fucking off but accoridng to the wiki he was at social services, so he avoids another count and was doing something useful, checking on lance before he tries to offer him a spot: both to make sure he’s a good fit after last week’s debacle and figure out the best course to legaly take the boy in if so, and if not knowing charles still find the kid a home anyway because even if he’s not x-man yet, he’s still a child in need asshole or not and Charles is a good man. Such a good man he had to be told 9 timelines ended in utter disaster and ruin for mutantkind for him to even humor breaking from his dream according to recent comics, and according to Moira’s notes STILL took a good 15 years in universe of attempted genoicdes , 1 actual genocide and his people being reduced to a nub to finally cave and even THEN he admits he still loves humanity and wants them to be better. While I did put up an xavier is a jerk count just now at his best Charles Xavier is a good if flawed man who, while prone to ocasionally making utterly terrible decisions, loves both humans and mutants and just wants peace in our time and only created the x-men to foster it.  Meanwhile back at the ranch her mansion, Logan.. senses sabertooth.. I mean even with Logan’s adept sense of smell, I question how he could smell him over the exaust of Sabertooth’s goofy metalic penis, aka his own motorcycle, but it IS part of his mutant powers. Either that or they just have a magic force bond like Rey and Kylo Ren in the sequel trilogy.. minus the sexual tension and forced face turn for the latter.. maybe just minus the forced face turn. So Logan prepares to go fight his rival, and suits up for the first time. and while it’s in a black void for.. some reason it looks REALLY badass and really gives gravatas to seeing wolverine in costume for the first time. And since he’s one of ONLY two looks to look at this episode, since Kitty and Lance don’t get their uniforms this episode, let’s talk about it. 

I fucking love it. Like Kurt’s it’s basically his comic’s costume but slightly modified.. but unlike Kurt it’s a diffrent costume than last time, going with his cool brown look that he wore for quite some time in the comics, though made a bit more orange. However it honestly STILL looks fantastic and I get wanting to go with a color that’s a bit more eyepopping in the more muted tones of Evolution. It just looks fantastic and i’ts nice to see a cartoon use an alternate costume for a character as their main look.   Logan passes a returning from school Scott and Kurt, who decide to follow him and after debating which car, Scott gestures them to his.. which is scott’s sports car from bot the previous series and the comics. Why a 17 year old has this, I can only assume because Chuck is a really good dad, really rich.. and likely knows having a bunch of teenagers around means if one of them DOSEN’T have hteir own car they’ll be borrowing his rolls royce all the time and this way he can have his nights after training free to smoke a blunt with logan while they watch the next generation and eat a pile of cheeseburgers the children dropped off while crusing around out of his lack of hair, you know why you give your teenager a car in the first place. 

Anyways while Kurt and Scott buddy up and go on an excellent adventure, with Kurt even bamfing inside and god I love this dynamic. So fucking adorable. But anyways while that’s going on, Kitty is at school being mocked by two alpha bitches for being sad despite her grades then is shoved in a locker. When then meet Lance, soon to be known as avalanche and the other mutant at school who decides to graffito tag the place.. in the laziest but somehow still coolest way possible by just taking his spray can and spraing one long streak along the lockers. Not as neat as doing an actual tag but it does more petty dumbfuckery faster so fair play to him.  Kitty begs him to let her out.. before her powers trigger again. She tries denying it when he comments on them being cool.. before he shows off his own, making the earth move under his feet, though not the sky tumbling down a tumbling down.. that’s Storm’s job. It shakes the lockers and Kitty rather than be impressed, runs like hell. But yeah, I get the feeling, even with him having evil plans for her right after.. that he does feel some attraction to her here. And as I made clear i’ts not shipping goggles.. the way he acts.. he’s elated to meet someone else with powers, to after likely being pinballed around foster care and treated like shit by his piers over it and then finding out he has a special power but is still seen as a weirdo even by his minons.. he’s elated. It’s what draws him to her: that for once he’s NOT alone, and there’s someone else to revel in the sheer power and joy he feels using his powers and even though she runs he vows he’s gonan rock her world.  Since we’re where a commerical break would be, I figure now’s a good time to talk about Lance. In the comics he had a diffrent name entirely, and avalanche was more of a one note villian who later became a retired bar owner. Here he takes bits, the long metal hair and love of his powers, from Rictor, a more heroic mutant in the comics who only started out doing crimes because he was forced to and quickly joined the original x-men’s class of mutants the x-terminators before joining the new mutants and later x-force. He’s also , as you probably know, one fo the x-men’s most prominent gay mutants, but while hinted at in comics made before this series was fully canonized years after, and like iceman who came out even later, there was no way of knowing that at the time, so it made since to use him as partial template here. It also makes sense not to use the rictor name as while it makes more sense given the earthquake motif, Avalanche is an actual villian.. and you know the obvious fact that Lance is white and Julio Richter.. is not.  Granted they COULD’VE made him latino, and used sunspot for spike to ballnce it out representation wise, but this was the early 2000′s and they cared about as much for repesentation as Jeph Loeb does. Hopefully Rictor gets an adpatation at some point outside of Logan, but I get why not here. 

On with the show. Kitty shows up late for track due to thing one and thing two, and has to run first and trips, while on the nearbye rooftops Lance and his two goons try to break into the administration building to get test answers. They don’t as Lance notices an alarm, and while one of his goons asks why he dosen’t just quake a hole in, Lance points out the obvious: If there’s obvious tampering they’ll just change the test answers.. and since he knows about kitty now, he has a better way and when questioned rather than explain her powers, he just shakes rattles and rolls. He also makes one of Kitty’s bullies trip but it only scares her further. I”m getting. serious heathers vibes here jesus.. I mean Lance isn’t nearly as bad as Jason Dean but still jesus. I need to listen to more of that musical good stuff. 

Kitty retreats from her admierer/stalker to teh autitorim, where Jean finds her.. given Jean again slipped in here without no o ne noticing and no one came after kitty , i’m thinking she use her telepathy to mask anyone from seeing Kitty come in and seeing Jean at all so she could talk in private. Granted Lance shows up right after, but odds are Jean didn’t notice him and thus didn’t think to shield him and probably isn’t up to Charles level where he can create a psychic blindspot in an entire crowd. Anyways Jean tries to comfort kitty who’s still angsting about her powers and again hard to blame her when the only other mutant she’s met is a budding psychopath whose idea of a romantic gesture is injuring one of her enmiies for her. Jean does try to calm her down, first showing she’s a mutant and admitting she was freaked out too when she got her powers.. and given most depcitions of jean getting her powers are far from plesant that tracks. She does however make the mistake of telling Kitty, already figuring this is some sort of trick and jean will throw a puppy across the room to also try and get in her pants or something, that she’s a telepath and Kitty screams at her to get out of her head. Jean truly is taking after her mentor in thef ucking up department. Lance then shows up as I mentioned earlier, and tells Jean to backoff and that’ she’s mine and you get it. Oh and as a side note Jean DOES admit to having read Kitty’s mind so she CAN read minds, and likely has gotten a surface level look of duncan’s thoughts which I feel go a little something like this mnus the actual context of when the song’s going on. 

Lance then finds kitty, whose changed into her regular outift and promises not to use his powers this time, admitting he too felt lost and scared, and wants to help her take control and help her.. and while it is partly for his own petty scheme.. I do genuinely think he means part of that, that he does genuinely wnat her and want someone like him by his side.. it’s just in his warped head doing crime and whatever he wants is the right thing to do, that control means using this power to knock down whoever’s in your way and TAKE what you deserve. 

Jean instead phones xavier and both agree that if lance fully gets his hooks in her they might never reach her and Xavier tells him to stay on her and that she can overcome lance as an obstacle.. and then bemoans that some obastacles are more annoying than others as the social services building has a large stone staircas,e a nice quip and they beat the ulitmate universe to that joke by a few years. 

Meanwhile our two best buds track Wolvie to a car park because fuck if I know why he decided to make his stand there. Probably because the writers had a cool action scene in mind as we’ll see, but it still comes off dumb though given how every other x-man has been acting this episode it tracks. Anyway Sabertooth strolls up on his demonic wang-shang-a-lang, 

Seriously I mocked it before but it bears repeating. While Wolvie has a normal looking, if still badass, bike Sabertooth’s.. looks like something Skeltor would ride after he man. It Looks like warlock is horribly stucki n the form of a motorcycle. It looks like the kind of bike on some random asshole the bikers from sons of anarchy would beat up forposing. It looks like he stole it from the biker mice from mars. It looks like the polution from it’s exaust alone is the reason big bird die. it looks like Creed just brought it off the joker and remonded it. It looks like something the battletoads bought and regretted. It looks like ghost rider’s first trike. it looks like Tooth lost his dick in a horrible acciden tand is compensating with theree metalic ones. It looks like something the BAND creed sold to victor creed here. It looks.. bad is what i’m saying.  As for his actual outfit.. it’s okay,b asically his movie outfit with osme of the skin missing. That look isn’t my faviorite of his but it works to sell him as a savage monster and fits good with the more tactical less comic booky looks of this shows costumes. 

Creed, the man not the band though  he does look like the lead singer of creed, charges at Logan who simply pops his wheel while tooth falls off the roof.. and then the most rediculous and awesome part of the episode starts.... right after Scott’s car gets hit with the bike because what else did he think was going to happen when the fighting started.  Sabertooth , who apparently has really good super strength in this universe, starts CHUCKING CARS UP THROUGH THE ROOF OF THE CAR PARK UP AT LOGAN. Points to the team while the setting for this fight is nonseical, it is WORTH IT for this, with great action as Logan dodges the cars bursting through the roof. it’s rediclous, over the top.. and UTTERLY spectacular and not just in a so bad it’s good way. Logan eventually slips through a car hole, a sentence i’d never thought i’d say mostly becasue that’s the moe syslack approved term for garages but it works well here too, and into the garage before sabertooth RAMS him with a car, ranting about it’s their “destiny” only one is left. Which seems like some weird “applying highlander logic to former goverment weapon mutants’ bollocks, but instead is foreshadowing for the end of the season. Nice touch. Scott and Kurt arrive, in uniform since even if he’s a bit more personably here, Scott still is no dummy, and they sucessfully save Logan, whose pissy about it because it was his buisness and all, but Kurt thinks he secretly loves them and Scott sarcastically agrees. Not a bad subplot and it makes up for a weird choice of battleground on logan’s cart iwth utter insanity. Fun stuff.  Back at not so fun stuff, Kitty finds lance outside the office and takes him up on his offer, and he admits they ARE outsiders, there is something wrong with them.. but instead of moping about it, they can do something about it and revel in it. It really ties into Lance as a character: He’s probably felt, due to being an oprhan and not having a stable home life likely buffeted around foster care and acting out as a result, that he really is an outsider and his powers not only proved it.. but finally gave him POWER over all the people that cast him out. The power to take what he wanted and return what he got. The power to move you. He finally had power and he was going to make them pay for making him feel like he had none and wants Kitty to join him. And for a moment it works, kitty joyfully breaking in with him and actually enjoying her powers for the first time. Meanwhile kitty’s parents showed up, Jean having called them and somehow got them to listen.. and this is what I meant by that one minute earlier. We COULD have built up Kitty’s parents guilt and fear by having Charles approach them again.. and with them panicked over her not returning from school, have him explain what happened and help her father see how wrong he’d been to hide from it or had her argue with her dad then storm out. Instead they just show up here for the first time in almost 20 minutes so we could get a filler scene of kurt being late. 

Anyways inside Lance steals the answers and Kitty is horrified to find out that “Gasp” the juvinele delinquent who hurt someone to impress her is doing BAD THINGS. Lance tries to change her grades but she refuses.. and then Jean and the Prydes show up, with Kitty’s dad admitting he was wrong, he shouldn’t of hid fro her power and shoudl’ve been a better parent.. better than her comics dad who got in bed with gangsters i’ll give him that. But Lance not wanting to loose his new sorta girlfriend knocks a bookcase on kitty and abusively tries to drag her with him.. while jean says if you go with him now, her powers will be a curse like she thought earlier... even though Kitty’s pretty terrified of lance right now and dosen’t actually want to go with him.  it comes off like this bit from final space played entirely seriously

So yeah apparently I need this too...: God Dammit Jean Count: 3 The other two are for the telepath thing earlier and the duncan thing last episode. And given the duncan thing is going to be going on till season 3 yeah i’ll need this. I’ll probably also need a WHAT DOES SHE SEE HIM HIM COUNT, but i’m playing that one by ear. But yeah kitty does the obvious and breaks it off and phases out and Lance takes it well.. by trying to destory the entire school.. my god this really is heathers! Did .. did lance kill some popular kids before this? I have questions. Jean struggles to hold things up and worries about kitty, who falls under some ruble but charles assures her to focus: She can do this.. and as we seen Chuck likely sensed kitty who phases out and reuintes with her parents before rescuing them all. Kitty realizes her powers are a gift after all and says the x-men have her best intrest and heart and Charles finally decides to have an actual discussion with the prydes which had he had one might’ve helped this episode go faster.  We then end on Lance, angry and hurt starring into the distance, when Mistque approaches in her principal disguise, saying there may be an opening for her and transforms ending with a great line “I have much to teach you, my avalanche”. Which ihs a better code name than Rictor when put like that credit where it’s do. And we’re out. Final Thoughts:  This one was a bit of a step down as you could tell: The main core of Lance and Kitty IS really strong, being a good way to breifly touch on toxic relationships. If this gets better in season 2 I have no idea but it’s a compelling dynamic here, with Kitty being terrified of her power while Lance loves his and both are what prop this episode up alongside the fun car park fight and great dynamic with Kurt and Scott. HOwever what drags the episode down is EVERYONE but Kitty and Lance, who act in character, and Scott and Kurt, who had no idea logan was going into combat and were just curious what their cool teacher was up to acts like a fucking moron: Logan, rather than pick a fighting ground where he has an advantage chooses one where sabertooth can easily use stealth and gives him an opening too as well as a garage full of weapons that nearly ends him, Xavier decides just randomly revealing he knows where they live wiill impress scared parents, Jean decides telling someone she’s in their head is a great idea, Kitty’s parents think not talking about the thing tht just happened will make it disappear, which is at least realistic if nothing else, and Sabertooth thought that was a valid choice for a motorcycle. The climax is good but feels unearned and overall this episode could've neen fantstic but is bogged down by bits of stupid, but is still enjoyable thanks to it’s emotional core. Next time, whenever that is, another popular charcter arrives as we go Rogue. Until then, follow for more reviews, like this if you enjoyed it, send asks iwth suggestions for more shows and episodes to cover and until then, stay safe and stay mutant and proud. 

[what-big-teeth]

Spark (Male Fire Elemental, pt. 3)

After a sudden setback, Simone is unsure if her original goal of making her grandmother’s house a home is doable. But the outcome to a phone call may be the encouragement she needs to keep going. And with Ignis by her side, things start to look up.  

Female Human (POV) x Male Monster  [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 4]

“Will that be all, officer?”

The cop jots down my partial description of the intruder and pockets her notepad.

“Yes, Miss Price, that should do it,” she says. She glances over at Mason’s pickup and frowns. “While we can’t allow you or your boyfriend back inside, I can bring out some clothes for him.”

Ignis hasn’t said a thing since Mica dialed 9-1-1 with my phone. Which makes sense with everything that’s happened without warning so far. He’s been handling being in his human form and wrapped in my duvet well enough. I just don’t know how he feels about the authorities thinking he’s my boyfriend and we were suddenly “interrupted”. The idea still makes my cheeks warm over pleasantly.

“No, it’s fine,” I say, rubbing my hands over my heavy coat sleeves. “He can borrow some of my friend’s clothes at the motel. His sister is letting me do the same.”

The officer nods then tells me she’ll call so I can pick up the rest of my things from the station later, after the crime scene has been investigated. God, that’s what it is now, isn’t it? No longer a home and not even a house. The intruder didn’t take anything tangible, but what they did was still precious. The sense of security.

“Miss Price?”

I rub at my burning eyes. The cop looks at me with a mix of pity and sadness.

“Get some rest, alright?”

I nod. Then I climb into the backseat of Mason’s truck because that’s the only thing I can do.

“Ready to go?” Mica asks softly.

“Yeah.”

The pickup pulls away from the property and coasts down the road. Maybe for my sake; I’m not sure. All I know is Nana’s house will never be the same.

A gentle heat ghosts over my skin then intertwines with my fingers. Ignis. I squeeze his hand in thanks until Mason clears his throat and glances at me through the rearview mirror.

“What we heard over the phone,” he says, “that was all true?”

Ignis raises his free hand, being careful of the duvet, and snaps his fingers. A small flame ignites from the action and burns for a few long seconds before dissipating.

“It is.”

“Right,” Mason sighs, dragging a hand over his face. “Of course…”

“Being in that form isn’t uncomfortable, is it?” Mica hedges, looking back at us. “We don’t know how people in town will react to what you really look like, so...”

“This appearance is something I personally made,” Ignis says. “Maintaining it is simple. You have nothing to worry about.”

Mica looks relieved by his answer, but it just leaves me feeling curious.

“Mind if I ask how you made this form?”

Ignis’ features soften and his gaze grows distant.

“One of the many possessors of my flask was a gladiator, raised in the Roman Empire. He suggested my name and was the first human to treat me as an equal; a friend. When he was killed in combat and I was taken away, I chose to use his appearance as the basis for this form. But I never thought I’d put my it to use.”

Mica’s sputter quickly dispels the nostalgic air.

“I-I’m sorry, but did you say the Roman Empire? As in Diocletian and Justinian? That Roman Empire?”

“Yes,” Ignis says, tilting his head. “Is there an issue?”

“No! No issue,” she says with a growing grin. “It’s just that, well…”

Mica’s practically vibrating in her seat. She’s always been a huge history nerd and the interest grew until she decided to nurture it in college then graduate school. So it wasn’t surprising when she decided to turn her love of history into a degree. I snort, trying to stifle my laugh, but fail.

“You’re basically a piece of living history,” I say. “In other words, she’s saying you’re old.”

Mica shakes her head, probably to the point of making herself dizzy.

“It’s not that your old, Ignis. It’s just that you’ve seen so much! Knowing what you are, if you were around for the gladiator games, then maybe you were around for the founding of the Roman Empire itself.”

She hops in her seat, back straightening. “Oh! Or maybe even before then? How long were you in Europe? Were you always in Europe? Were you present during the Hadean Eon?”

“In English?” Mason groans out.

“When Earth was a literal roiling firestorm before rocks were a thing,” Mica says. “Anyway!”

Mica keeps asking Ignis questions and surprisingly, he answers them all in a calm and patient tone. He even chuckles when she goes off on a tangent and attempts to guess what time periods he’s witnessed. Mason soon joins in, reminding Mica that everyone in the truck doesn’t speak “fluent geek”. That leads to the twins falling into a spat that makes Ignis laugh deep from his belly. It’s an unforgettable sound just like this moment. Seeing the people I love like this is enough to make me happy.

…Love, huh? When did Ignis become a part of that special group?

“Simone?”

Ignis gently squeezes my hand while looking down at me with ruby-red eyes. For reasons that are slowly becoming clearer, my cheeks warm over.

“Are you alright?” he asks.

Mica laughs as Mason trips over a complex word before deciding to focus solely on the road. But there’s a small smile on his face, despite his embarrassment. That’s why it’s easy to nod sincerely.

“Yeah. I’m good.”

The rest of the trip to the motel is filled with laughter, grins, and the warmth of Ignis’ hand encasing mine. We pull into the empty, silent parking lot and quickly guide Ignis into the twins’ hotel room. Or at least, it would be if it didn’t have just one bed. Mason heads towards his suitcase with Ignis in tow while Mica plops into a chair beside the heating system. She sighs contentedly, peeling off her thick gloves.

“Is your room nearby?” I ask.

“Yup, and with a second bed. Mason and I thought it’d be a good idea just in case...”

Mica’s words trails off, obviously not wanting to bring up the past few hours. She glances over her shoulder and I give her a smile.

“Thanks for looking out for me,” I say, then feel my smile falter. “Mind doing it again after I call Dad?”

“Not at all! But, uh, how are you going to explain…”

Mica gestures to a confused Ignis holding a small pile of clothes being ushered into the bathroom by Mason. The door closes with a loud creak and a soft click.

“Dad knows about Ignis, so lying isn’t necessary,” I say, sitting on the foot of Mason’s bed.

“So Ignis is the reason why your Dad and Nana became estranged?”

I nod. “He didn’t want me to have Nana’s house in the first place.” My fingers bunch the thin, white blanket beneath me. “What if he won’t hear Ignis out? I refuse to leave Ignis by himself, but I don’t want to sacrifice my relationship with Dad, either…”

The bed dips beside me and a gentle weight nudges my shoulder.

“I don’t think it’ll come to that,” Mica says. “But the best way to ensure that is to make sure they hold an honest conversation. Ignis already proved he’s able to do that and your Dad is too. As long as you’re there, they’ll have a reason to reach common ground.”

When I don’t reply, Mica nudges my shoulder again.

“You’ll see.”

The bathroom creaks open slowly and she grins wide, expectant. “Speaking of.”

But it’s Mason who steps out instead, blocking us from seeing the end result inside. My eyebrows knit together at his stiff movements.

“Something wrong?” I ask.

“Mica,” he says, “You…got money on hand, right?”

“Uh, yeah. Why do you—”

A loud rip sounds from inside the bathroom.

“…My apologies,” Ignis says. “The fit was too tight.”

Laughter bursts from my gut and I end up slipping off the bed and landing on my ass. The pain’s not enough to stop me. Mica’s close to tears from cackling so hard. And poor Mason’s left exasperated as he steps back into the bathroom and closes the door.

When we finally calm down and figure out Ignis and Mason’s sleep arrangements, I head out with Mica and my duvet. I collapse in bed with a grin on my face. And in that moment, I know things will work out, one way or another.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The smell of bacon and hash browns rouses me and makes my stomach grumble. Loudly. I sit up with a groan, uncaring of how Mica’s borrowed sleepshirt falls off my shoulders. I only care when someone clears their throat.

Ignis stares down at me with an amused smirk, still in human form. Wearing clothes that fit his tall, broad frame deliciously. The white shirt hidden underneath his black, leather jacket gives just a hint of the musculature of his torso. And god, his jeans. Not too loose or tight, but just enough to compliment his legs. Probably his ass, too. I can’t really tell from this angle, sadly.

“See something you like?” he asks, his voice a deep rumble.

The sound warms me in places I’ve ignored for the longest of time because of grad school. So having this happen right now with dried, flaking drool on the corner of my mouth and my natural curls being a hot mess…isn’t ideal. At all. I swipe at my mouth with my hand and adjust the sleepshirt as best I can. The old fabric just slips back into place, leaving my shoulders exposed. And open to a soothing heat that flows over my skin.

Ignis rolls one of my curls between his clawed finger and thumb with a teasing smile.

“I must say Simone, you look rather charming like this.” His fingers skim my shoulder, making me shiver. “But I wonder how you’d look completely debauched.”

Holy fu—

The room door opens without warning. I’m left staring at the place Ignis once stood, my mouth wide open and cheeks aflame. He, meanwhile, has somehow taken a seat at the nearby round table with a bag smelling like breakfast neatly set in the center by a bottle of orange juice.

“Simone?” Mica asks, wearing her coat and looking ready for the day. “You okay?”

Ignis just left me looking like a fool. Again. But in a very different way. I shift around a bit in a horrible attempt to curb my libido and clear my throat.

“Y-yeah. Still kind of tired, that’s all.”

Mica doesn’t say a word. She just smiles. Knowingly.

“Since I had to repay Mason for his ruined clothes, I thought it’d be best to get Ignis some much needed clothes.”

“Thank you again for your aid, Mica,” the bane of my single existence replies. “You’re too kind.”

“Not a problem! Do you mind helping Mason load the pickup truck?” She pulls out a brown bag from behind her back. “I still need to eat breakfast.”

“Of course.”

But before he leaves, Ignis’ gaze slides over to me, well over Mica’s head. It pins me in place until he closes the motel room door with a soft click. Mica takes Ignis’ old seat, unwraps her breakfast sandwich, and takes a bite while staring at me.

“So,” she says, “How was your wakeup call?”

“Mica, what the fuck?”

I wince against the sharp hoarseness of my voice. Mica just wipes her mouth with a thin napkin.

“What? I just asked Ignis to wake you up.” She grins mischievously. “I didn’t tell him how, though. Whatever he did, that was all him. But by the looks of things, I’m guessing you enjoyed it?”

Instead of replying, I throw the covers off, jump from the bed, and hurry into the bathroom. I start the shower and end up being sprayed with horrifically cold-ass water. I shriek and hear Mica cackle from the other room.

“Don’t think I didn’t see you two being sweet in the truck last night!” she yells above the loud spray.

Once I’m cleaned, clothed, and no longer horny, I go to town on my breakfast sandwich and orange juice. Blessedly, Mica stays quiet until I’m done.

“What time is it?” I ask.

“Almost ten. I thought it’d be best to get you ready and have Ignis cheer you up before your Dad comes.”

Right. The phone call. During all the silliness and Ignis acting like that, I had almost forgotten. Almost. Mica slides my phone across the table. According to the battery icon in the upper corner, it’s fully charged. She must’ve taken care of that for me last night.

“You know I got your back, right?” she asks. “So does Mason and Ignis, too.”

Having the twins’ support me does make me feel better. But when I imagine Ignis alongside of them, I can’t stop the warmth that floods my cheeks. And I don’t want to. I take a deep breath, pick it my phone, and dial Dad’s number.

“Hello?”

“Hey Dad.”

“Morning sweetheart! How are things over there?”

I brace myself then tell him everything. About getting to know Ignis, the attempted robbery, how he saved me and then me him. By the time I’m done, Dad’s gone completely silent.

Until, “Were you hurt? Are you safe?”

“Yeah, Ignis protected me. I…I think he almost died doing it.”

Another long silence.

“I’m coming down there.” His tone leaves no room for argument. “Stay with Mica and Mason until then, alright?”

I agree and don’t mention Ignis again; his voice already sounds tight and on edge. He ends the call and my body releases the tension it was hoarding.

“How was it?” Mica asks.

“We’ve got about two hours before he arrives at the motel.”

Mica’s mouth twists into a crooked, near frown. But she soon she perks up with a bright smile.

“Then let’s make the most of it. This town has a fun place to check out.” She stands up and holds out her hand towards me. “You in?”

I realize what she’s offering: a distraction. It’s exactly what I need, at least before the shit hits the fan. So I grab her hand and stand up.

“Let’s go.”

We meet Mason and Ignis outside, walking up to them just as they finish up their conversation. A calm one at that. Which is weird since Mason didn’t want anything to do with Ignis when they first met.

I explain the situation and the countdown until Dad arrives. Mason’s quick to agree, citing that Mica has extra money to blow (she smacks him for that). But Ignis looks completely out of his element, nothing like how he appeared in the motel room.

“What is a ‘arcade’?”

The twins and I grin.

We pull into the Comicade’s parking lot and head inside. Some of the distrusting looks of the adult customers fall away once Ignis steps into view, turning into curiosity and unashamed appreciation. I ignore the sourness building in my gut, accept the quarters Mica offers me, and make a beeline towards the Tetris machine.

I’m doing well, fitting the tetrominos in place with only a few incomplete lines at the bottom of the screen. They start piling up after I hear a too many flirty giggles. But they fall silent when a large, too-warm hand slowly glides across my lower back and rests on my hip.

“What sort of game is this?” Ignis asks, his hot breath ghosting the shell of my ear.

“T-Tetris. It’s a tile puzzle.” My voice sounds too strained for my liking.

“I see. Interesting.”

Ignis pulls away and I find myself missing his warmth. To the point that my body leans back to follow after him. But a familiar sound makes me freeze: the ‘Game Over’ tune. A soft chuckle sends a rush of frustration through me, in both senses of the word.

Thankfully, the rest of our time at the arcade is relatively calm. The twins and I manage to win a large amount of arcade tickets, but hand them off to a group of appreciative kids. At a quarter ‘til one, we decide to drive back to the motel. But before I’m able to follow Mica and Ignis out the door, Mason taps me on the shoulder.

“Can we talk?”

The bags under his eyes are somewhat darker and his expression screams defeat. It’s hard to look at him like this, which is why I agree. He calls out to Mica and, after a quick warning, tosses his keys at her when she faces him.

“Mind going on ahead?” he asks.

They hold a quick, silent conversation and Mica nods, leading Ignis outside. Once they’re gone, he leads me over to an empty corner of the arcade with stiff steps, his hands stuffed into his coat pockets. I’m about to ask what’s wrong, but he holds up a hand and shakes his head.

“If I don’t say this now, I probably never will.” He takes a deep breath and focuses on me. “I’ve been seeing you more as a friend for a while now. And that’s why I’ve been acting like, well, this.”

Mason pauses and gathers his dreadlocks in his hands, just to have something to do; one of his nervous tells. He lets go and they fall down.

“It’s also why Mica got on my case a few days ago. Because I should’ve said something before someone else did. But I’m too late.”

He gives me a sad smile then shrugs.

“Ignis may be what he is, but he seems to really care for you. Like you do for him. So as long as you’re happy, I’m happy too.”

I sniff and rub at my eyes to stop the tears from falling. But they come anyway. I haven’t seen this Mason, the gruff but sincere guy I’ve known for the longest, in a while. The Mason I went to when I’m tackling something Mica may not be able to help with. I’m so stupidly happy to have him back, that I’m not surprised when my laughter comes out watery, but light.

“You dork,” I say. “You know I’ll always be your friend, right?”

Mason chuckles then wraps me in a hug, rocking me back and forth. Like he used to do when we were kids.

“Yeah, I know.”

After splashing my face with cold water in the restroom, we leave the arcade for his truck and climb inside with the others. Mason sits in the driver’s seat while I claim the empty seat behind him. Beside Ignis.

“Everything alright?” Mica asks.

I meet Mason’s gaze in the rearview mirror and smile.

“Yeah, we’re good.”

My smartphone starts to vibrate and I pluck it out of from my coat pocket. The screen displays ‘Dad’ in bold, white print. I answer the call with a swipe of my thumb and let Dad know we’re on our way.

Mason drives us back to the motel and I see a familiar, dark blue hatchback in the parking lot. When we park a few spaces away from it, Dad steps out and locks his car. He waves at the twins just as his eyes settle on the backseat. His gaze hardens when he sees Ignis. And in turn, Ignis tenses. But he relaxes when I reach over and twine my fingers with his.

“We’ll be okay,” I tell him. “Promise.”

Ignis squeezes my hand back and looks down at me. He gives me a warm, closed-mouth smile then unlocks the door on his side.

We climb out, Ignis carefully helping me step onto the ground with our hands connected. Dad watches us without saying a word, keeping his eyes trained on Ignis the whole time. To keep the fragile peace, I let go of him to take the lead. As I walk closer, the hard lines of Dad’s face soften and he opens his arms for me. My forehead bumps into the top of his shoulder as his arms squeeze me tightly.

“Thank goodness you’re safe,” he breathes against my hair.

He hugs me a bit closer and I almost feel like a little girl again.

“Like I said before, I had help.”

As I step out of Dad’s embrace, Ignis comes to stand beside me with a neutral expression. Even though Ignis is about half a head taller and broader than him, Dad isn’t affected by their differences.

“You must be Ignis,” he says.

Ignis replies with a slow nod that looks too tense to be comfortable. Having them reach common ground is possible; I just have to think and act carefully.

“Dad.” I reach out touch his arm. “Can we all talk somewhere in private?”

Thankfully, he agrees. But his distrustful expression makes me gnaw at my bottom lip, even after Mica attempts to run interference by offering the key to her hotel room. I’m scared what I say won’t matter in the end since Dad has voiced his dislike of Ignis since day one. But I have to try. Because I don’t want to choose between two of the most important people to me.

So, I steel myself when Mica leaves the motel room and Dad closes the door. He walks over to the table, takes a seat, and gestures for Ignis to take the remaining chair. That leaves me with the edge of my made bed, where I take off my coat.

“Simone,” Dad says, his voice adamant.

“Yes, sir?”

“You already told me what happened back at the house,” he says, crossing his arms. “But I want to hear it from him.”

My stomach flips; this isn’t what I planned at all. Ignis settles further into his chair and clears his throat.

“Then would you mind,” he begins, “if I told you my full story? Including what led us all here to this moment?”

“Go right ahead.”

Ignis does. He starts at the beginning, with how he was the cause of his own capture. How he was exchanged numerous times over the years for gold. How his one human friend died as a gladiator and how he found himself in early America. Then, how he met Nana.

“Abigail showed fearlessness and compassion when she encountered me in the woods that day,” Ignis says. “Even after all my attempts to scare her away. It was those traits, and her resourcefulness, which made me fall in love with her.”

Dad’s eyes widen at that last statement, but he quickly schools his expression.

“So what went wrong?”

“Me,” Ignis says, bowing his head. “I let my anger and jealousy overcome me, and became a genuine threat to this town. I threatened to burn it and its inhabitants to the ground because Abigail loved another. She upheld the common good by sealing me away that day. If I were to spend the rest of time trapped there, it would have been a just punishment.”

Ignis’ gaze warms over and he smiles.

“But Simone arrived and broke down my barriers with patience and understanding. It’s due to her that I felt like myself, like an equal, even during the last days of my imprisonment. So is it surprising, that when she was in danger, I used every bit of my power to save her?”

Dad rubs his temples and lets out a silent sigh, frowning.

“I will be forever grateful that you saved Simone,” he says. “But with all due respect, why should I trust you, especially with my daughter? You threatened to incinerate an entire town full of innocent people. All because you didn’t get what you want.”

Every part of me is screaming to do something, to get up and defend Ignis, to try and explain our time back at Nana’s house.

“You’re right,” Ignis says.

His head is raised and his whole demeanor is completely calm with no trace of rigidness in his body. He meets Dad’s stare head on.

“Even before my capture, I only cared about myself and my own interests. That didn’t change while I was trapped in the flask. And as much as I came to care for Abigail, I fell back into my old habits and lashed out for my own personal gain.”

His eyes find mine and he gives me a gentle smile, one that makes my heart pound.

“But if given the chance, I will prove myself a thousand times over. All for Simone.”

I let out the breath my lungs hold in a quiet rush and take in more air. The action somewhat snaps me out of my daze. Dad’s long sigh clears away the last of it.

“Fine,” he says. “I’ll give you a chance.”

Dad stands and pushes his chair under the table. He starts heading for the door, but pauses to clap his hand onto Ignis’ shoulder.

“But if you screw up, I will find a way to extinguish you. Permanently.”

“There’s no need,” Ignis says. “If I do waste my opportunity, I’ll gladly do it myself.”

After a tense moment, Dad nods. Then, he turns my way.

“I’ll book a room so that when the station calls, you won’t have to collect your things by yourself. And Ignis is coming along too, correct?”

Ignis’ stunned expression falls away. He smiles.

“Of course.”

Satisfied, Dad heads out and closes the door with a soft click. I flop onto my bed, grunting as my back hits the fresh covers.

“So glad that worked out,” I murmur.

“As am I,” Ignis says.

I pause. Because his voice sounds much closer than expected. I shimmy up into a slight crunch then prop myself up on my elbows. He’s standing at the foot of the bed with a teasing smirk stretching his lips. The same one from earlier, in fact. Molten heat pools in my lower belly as his eyes roam over my body.

“You look like you’ve got something planned,” I say with a smirk of my own.

“Only if you agree to it.”

Before I can answer, my phone buzzes. And I can’t stop the laugh that bubbles up because of Mica’s text.

“Intercepted your Dad after he checked in and invited him to lunch with us. I’ll bring back food, you’re welcome, and give me details later.”

I toss my phone onto Mica’s bed and grin up at Ignis.

“Since we’ve got time,” I say, shedding my winter boots, “you should finish what you started.”

His ruby red eyes flash as he removes his leather jacket.

“Gladly.”

[antman-56]

The Day We Meet Again Pt. 5

News Anchor 1 : Reports of small riots over Sunsets Family’s facilities have now turned to a ...

News Anchor 2 : Vacuo has now entered a state of emergency due to the increase violence of Faunus workers under Starr Industries...

News Reporter : Atlas is now called martial law once again due to the Faunus attacking SDC security and supervisors. As you can see below me their are fires and raging rioters. We were lucky-

Pilot : Ma’am were leaving!!!

NR 3 : Why?!

Pilot : Reports of the rioters gath-

The camera shakes violently with the screams of the news team and the helicopters warnings ringing.

The screen soon turned back to the main news team starring in shock and one of them crying.

They weren’t alone. Team RWBYJNR had the same reaction. Speechless and scarred. Kali was in tears. All the progress they have done since Adam’s suposive death. Gone.

Ghira right now was giving a statement, mostly to say he and the new White Fang had no part of this.

Kali : I can’t believe... 

Kali left the room in a hurry.

Blake : Adam has to be a part of the insurgency.

Weiss : How do you know?

Blake : He has to!! The White Fang stopped supporting him when he ran away at Haven. Their is no way-

Ren : It could have been a Faunus worker responsible. They might’ve saw or heard some of the things Adam did.

Blake : But he left. Abandoned his friends.

Jaune : What message would you send when you attack the people your supposed to liberate? 

Blake : He attacked me.

Ren : More than likely out of anger and the fact you organized that resistance.

Nora : Are you defending him?

Ren : No, I’m trying to rationalize what he was thinking when Blake showed up with Menagerie resistance.

Blake : Well he lost everything when he fled.

Ren : That didn’t mean everyone gave up on him, just the majority of Menagerie,.

Yang : And what dose that mean?

Ren : That the Faunus in slavery still see him as a hero.

Nora : But he was a murder and a coward.

Ren : Like Jaune said, what message would he send if he attacked the Faunus, reports say that his men fired at the humans and mostly ignored the Faunus resistance. The only people that were attacked were the ones who fought them, ie you and Sun.

Blake : But what of the ones that fired?

Ren (on scroll) : Reports state that they were employees of different facilities of different companies. Meaning-

Blake : They weren’t part of Menagerie.

Ren : Exactly. According to their statements Adam saved them from either mutilation, rape, torture, the list goes on. 

Blake : That’s not ...

Ren : Well that explains why they fired. They didn’t want to anyone to go through what they did, even if it meant killing humans.

Blake : That doesn’t change the fact that-

Ren : Blake your trying to make a slave and a free man have the same mind. Its not going to work. One knows the hardships in life and the other doesn’t. One lived in a room alone and the other shared a broom closet with 12 others with no restroom. One ate whenever they wanted the other was lucky if his superiors remembered him.

Blake was quiet. 

Ren : From what was seen, to written, to said will change. The workers probable see you and Menagerie as spoiled or lucky. That you don’t know what they have suffered, They see survival of ones self important. That it’s common for them then it is to the people of Menagerie. So, Adam running means nothing to them. It only meant he would come back. 

Blake : But we are fighting for the same thing.

Ren : The only difference is that they want it done faster than how your father can do it.

Blake : So, we know why they follow him now. So who's leading this group?

Weiss : I'll call Whitely. Ask for some intel and who knows we might get lucky.

With that Weiss left and Nora changed the channel to Ghira.

Ghira : Again we have no leads on who is responsible for these attacks. As you have heard they tried to take my life as well. (He gestures his torso so they can see the bandages) But we will help the local authorities find the culprits and the mastermind behind this.

The reportes all rushed for their questions.

Ghira : Yes, you in the back.

Reporter  : Do you think this has anything to do with the late Adam Taurus? 

Ghira : No comment.

He left the stage all the while the media was adding more to the question.

When Ghira made it back he saw that all eyes were on him.

Ghira :Blake i’m-

Blake : Dad this is your last chance. We need to know what the Faunus have suffered so we can get an idea on how to help the kingdoms.

Ghira (sighing) : You just don’t give up.

Blake : Dad i’m not a child. I want to help but before I go in blind I need to know what to look out for. How to handle a worse case scenario better than going in blind.

Ghira stayed silent.

Yang (enraged) : Dammit old man. What is it that  that your hiding?!?!

Yang stomped over to him. Ghira didn’t bend but he meet the girls red eyes with his own.

Ghira : All of you are so naive.

This caught them by surprise.

Ruby : I’m sorry sir, but no. We have seen our fair share of the world.

Ghira : And what is that? Grimm? Miss Rose, the Grimm are simple creatures. They see and kill any thing that looks human. They are far easier to handle than politics, or worse, humans.

Ghira covered his eyes and laughed silently.

Ghira : You don’t know what it is that I know. Blake, you are right but you are not ready yet.

Blake (enraged) : What do you mean i’m NOT ready!! I have fought the White Fang, Humans that see us as garbage, and-

Ghira : THATS ONLY THE TIP OF IT!!!

Blake backed down and everyone could see the more cat like eyes on Ghira.

The man is stressed out. With the attempted assassination on his life, the riots, the media trying to get him to confess to a crime he didn’t commit, and now a determined daughter asking about the horrors he has seen. 

He was at the end of his rope.

Ghira (recomposed) : You really want to know?

Blake just nodded.

Ghira : Follow me.

He began to walk into the masion and Blake and co. followed.

It had been close to 10 minutes and he was not stopping. They have now entered further down into the Mansion. Even Blake was surprised, she had never seen this part of it.

They had now entered an old room, in the middle of it laid an old desk, an old chair,  some books and a lamp on the desk and a book shelfs filled the wall all of them full.

Ghira took a seat and stared at his daughter, his pride and joy but also a pain. Still he loved her.

Ghira : Mr. Arc close the door.

THUNK

 Ghira : Now the truth.

Blake felt uneasy and she wasn’t alone. The room was old and the cold. And the fact that Ghira was a calm disheveled mess scared her to no end. Still she would not bend to the truth of her people.

Ghira : The Faunus have suffered more than you and the world know. Along with being put into force labor either by kidnapping or by poverty. we have suffered more.

Blake : I kno-

Ghira (raised his hand to silence her) : Along with that, we have been used as test subjects since we are more human than rats. Forced to endure unknown chemical compounds to see how they respond. all in the name of science And somtimes for fashion. Faunus are put on a table and are removed of their skin if it resembles leather or any other animal fabric. We have been hunted like fair game. Deer, Rabbit, Moose, and even Bird Faunus are kidnapped or bought from companies and are released into the wild to be hunted for sport. Faunus of endangered species are more preferred since their counterpart would get them arrested if caught. (the room grew colder as he forced himself to reveal more) And in some kingdoms they get away with it since “A savage attacked me. I had to defend myself”. (croaking) We are put into gladiator pits forced to kill one another for the pleasure of others. Some Faunus with more mutations like razor sharp teeth, claws, fangs, or thick skin are put to fight others of the same, more, or less mutations. Doesn’t matter about age, gender, relations, species, or conditions. As long as their masters are happy. Their are cults that require the blood of animals and humans and guess who fits right into that category. The scenes that were left behind, it was one of the few things I agreed with what Adam did. (he closed his eyes) The women in some of those examples are put into breeding facilities, legal or not, mostly not. Do you know what it fells like to be held down ladies ( RWBYN began to feel chill down their spine, some making a fist to hold in their rage others to mortified to do anything but hug themselves). begging for it to stop and then forced to give birth right were you defecate. I saw the photos and I didn’t want to imagine your mother in that situation. Did you know their was a plan for you and your mother at one point. ( Blake was now mortified, she was shaking and RW_YJNR stared at her). Sienna told me after Adam found the conspirators and the traitor. Out of the 5 we destroyed the youngest one recorded was 6. And we believe their are more and we are still searching. The Butchers Mine was one of a few example of us being used as cattle. Their are clubs that kidnap Faunus, fatten them up and feed them to the family. And get to do it again. If you wan to know more, the books here hold the records of each encounter that Adam and others found. Now if you’ll excuse me.

Ghira got up and left. Leaving a room filled with mortified young adults.

Nora was being consoled by Ren. You could hear quiet sniffles. Ren stayed strong for her, she needed him now.

Ruby was looking at the floor. Trying to understand how people could do that another being.

Weiss was beginning to hyperventilate. What else has her father done to their name and could it even be fixed.

Jaune walked up to Weiss and gave her a hug. She didn’t care at the moment if it was him, Ruby or anyone. She just needed someone to hold.

Yang walked up to Blake. You collapsed to her knees before she could reach her. 

Yang dropped next to her and hug her, hoping to bring her some comfort.

Yang : It’s okay. It’s okay. We can fix this.

Blake began to stare at the desk. Her people have suffered and they were right about her.

She was nothing more than a princess. She may fight for her people and her goal may be noble. But she would ignore the people who have suffered without a second thought.

Adam was right. He was right.

He was right.

[tysonrunningfox]

Ripped: Part 10

This chapter is...so much, again, I...hope I didn’t mess a lot of things up but also I’m so excited for this to be out there

Ao3

Detective Eretson’s office isn’t roomy, but it looks bigger for the absolute lack of decoration. Snotlout has been complaining about him for a year, but there’s nothing on the walls except for a very official looking medal that Hiccup doesn’t recognize and the bookcase holds only a cardboard box neatly folded and marked “miscellaneous”. Hiccup can see Snotlout’s nametag on his desk out through the small vertical window, which is crosshatched with wire, the age old answer to bulletproof that actually makes it weaker.

Hiccup’s dad’s office had glass like that. They took it out after he died and replaced it with modern tempered glass, like there was no longer anything inside worth the falsely protecting.

Eretson brings Hiccup a cup of coffee from the breakroom, stale and obviously made that morning, but he accepts it anyway, taking the smallest sip he can while Eretson sits down and logs into his computer. The silence and clicking matches Hiccup’s speeding heartbeat and he clears his throat, fidgeting in the cold plastic chair. Something about the detective’s presence reminds him of his dad getting home after he’d done something wrong but it hadn’t been discovered yet. He learned young that confessing was easier than not, but his dad’s disappointment was heavier to carry than his own guilt.

“What? No bad cop routine this time?” He laughs, the sound echoing off of the undecorated walls, unwelcome.

“That was tired cop,” Eretson pushes his keyboard away and turns fully to Hiccup, eyebrows knit together in a heavy frown.

“What’s this then?”

“I’m good at my job, Mr. Haddock.” There’s swagger there but it’s buoyant, balancing. “And I’m good at reading people.”

“I’m guessing I say ‘won’t try to escape’?” Hiccup rubs one of his wrists and Eretson doesn’t flinch.

“This precinct lets you get away with a lot because of your father,” a jab that hurts worse than when Snotlout says it, “but not murder.” He flips through some photos from the crime scene and Hiccup swallows hard, trying to focus on anything but that flash of metal leg and regretting it. “People who do this don’t look at pictures of it like that.”

“I bet that’s true,” Hiccup remembers the guy who’d invited him over to see his collection.

“It is,” Eretson turns the photos over, “but that doesn’t explain why you keep finding the bodies.”

“So you think the cases are related?” It’s the only thing Hiccup has been able to think about for the last two hours. Or that’s not fair, it’s the only thing he’s been able to focus on.

He thought about his tour, and how it felt like the worst ever but he’s scared it’ll be his best reviewed. He thought about Astrid, one second blushing with her chin held high and the next pale and terrified, her shaky hand telling him to pull his foot out of his mouth and turn around. He thought about Dave and wondered if it hurt.

But he focused on all the reasons the murders can’t be related. Or all the reason, singular, and it doesn’t feel very reliable right now, sitting across the station from his dad’s old office, being lectured by strong, broad shoulders and an unshakeable scowl.

Lightning doesn’t strike twice until someone puts up a lightning pole.

“Your alibies check out. I talked to Gobber and he affirmed how you knew of the first victim. And I confirmed the tape—“

“What tape?” Hiccup can’t think of anywhere legal he’s been that would be taped and obtained by the cops.

“Right,” Eretson clears his throat and turns back to his computer, clicking again before turning the screen around. “This tape was recorded—“

“The back of the condos,” Hiccup nods to himself, watching grainy black and white footage of Astrid jumping and his arm curling her protectively into his chest. It’s a joke even here, she obviously doesn’t need his protection, but God he wanted to give it to her earlier as she shook, trying not to look into the alley and being unable to look anywhere else.

The memory twists his stomach, caught up in everything else. It was torture to see her scared after seeing her so passionate, defiant, happy. Embarrassed was his favorite, he liked it enough that he pulled off feigning confidence, even though the thought of her kissing him for revenge after trying to save his tour practically made him lightheaded.

Cameras. Astrid texted him that she’d talked to the police about cameras, this must have been why. He wonders what she thought when she saw it.

“This is approximately time of death, given the coroner’s statement and Miss Hofferson confirmed that you walked her home.”

“I did.”

“When does your first Viggo Grimborn tour begin?” He says Grimborn like an American idiom he finds deeply inferior and Hiccup wants to ask where he’s from, but the little Snotlout on his shoulder flicks him on the ear and reminds him not to yap without a lawyer present. He’s not sure when Snotlout got promoted to be both angel and devil, but now’s not the time to dwell on that.

“Seven or seven thirty, depending on the weather, and I try and get there half an hour before to let people know they’re in the right place.”

“Miss Hofferson says I can confirm with her coworker that you were at her job from five to six, approximately.”

“Sounds about right,” Hiccup wills his face not to move but Eretson’s eyes flash anyway, deadly like a predator that isn’t used to starving.

“So, the night of Jennifer Franklin’s murder, you’re attesting to the fact that you made it from 324 Harbor road to the alley behind the Ripped Tavern in less than half an hour, but you’re now claiming that being at the Berk Archives until six is enough evidence to say that you couldn’t have been killing this man at approximately six thirty, according to the coroner?”  

Eretson isn’t flip-flopping or changing his mind, he’s trying to steer his investigational sailboat with a strong lean and Hiccup’s lower back throbs.

His doctor doesn’t like him walking eight miles a day on cobblestones and his hips agree. His back is usually willing to compromise but the last week avoiding shortcuts at Snotlout’s request has done a number on its resolve.

“I’ve been staying out of the alleys,” Hiccup realizes all at once that there’s no way to know that Dave was wearing his old spare leg and the angelic-devil Snotlout on his shoulder applauds him for keeping the secret, “Snotlout—Officer Jorgenson, I mean, said it wasn’t a good idea after the first murder.”

“He did?”

“He’s not particularly confident in my ability to take care of myself,” Hiccup flexes an arm and laughs, the self-depricating sound less welcome in the office than the awkward one. “Ask him yourself.”

“You can’t tell me about it?” There’s frustration there but not disbelief.

“I uh…don’t talk much.” He clears his throat, “I’m shy around authority figures, you know how it is, I’m sure.”

“That’s the first lie you’ve told,” Eretson stands up and opens the door to his office, “don’t—“

“Don’t leave town, I’ve got it.” Hiccup walks out into the lobby, freezing when he recognizes a man in a crisp grey uniform talking to a man in a suit that makes Eretson stop short.

“Detective Eretson, I’ve heard that you’ve met Mr. Grisly—“

“I have,” Eretson answers stiffly, holding out a tense hand at the end of a flexed arm.

“My pleasure,” the man in gray shakes it, everything about him mocking and superior for no externally discernible reason. His accent is Bond villain and he raises a charcoal eyebrow at Hiccup. “It’s good to see you again, Hiccup, it’s been too long.”

“Has it?” Hiccup never thought he’d feel like he was backed against the same wall as detective Eretson by the same force, “I thought you didn’t enjoy your private tour.”

“Enjoyment isn’t necessary for an experience to be…influential.” He laughs, “you didn’t get my joke, by the way.”

“Joke?”

“It hasn’t been a long time at all, I caught you with your hands full the other night.” He’s having as much fun as Hiccup isn’t currently and as much as Eretson has never had.

“With unsanctioned cameras,” Eretson crosses his arms, respectfully glaring at the man in the suit. “I’m close, Sir—“

“The approval just went through this morning, we can’t have the media buzz right now Eretson, I’m calling in all the help we can get.”

“Then talk to another precinct, don’t bring in a civilian organization—”

“Other precincts don’t have anyone to spare,” Eretson’s boss is conclusive, leaving no room to wedge an argument in before he continues, “and Mr. Grisly’s help has the additional benefit of being free, so you’ll take the information he gives you.”

“I’m sure it’s unbiased,” Hiccup mutters under his breath and Eretson scoffs, their momentary agreement lingering as Eretson’s boss walks away.

“I look forward to working together,” Mr. Grisly’s smile is predatory too, but starving. A lion under a gladiator arena starved to amp up its ferocity, but something about the gleam in his eye makes Hiccup think he bolted the lock himself. “This case so far is of particular interest to me.”

Everything impulsive in Hiccup’s body wants to say ‘Grimborn’ but his stomach twists against it, the ghost of a gag keeping the words in his throat. If it’s Grimborn, that means at least two more murders and he doesn’t even want to think about it, especially given his recent luck in stumbling across them.

“Great, more hobby detectives,” Eretson gripes, dismissing Hiccup with a look at the front door and yet another reminder not to leave town. Hiccup wishes that was more of an issue, but he wasn’t exactly planning a lavish vacation before a second murder shut down his tours.

00000

The shelter is busier than usual, and Gobber lets Hiccup eat if he works, so he finds plenty to keep himself occupied through the next week. Plus, people at the shelter are scared, getting there earlier, every day with new complaints about the Neighborhood Watch Force flaunting badges they’ve been told mean something now. Snotlout is furious but for once, as helpless as Eretson, even though the phenomenon doesn’t seem to be forcing any kind of bond. If anything, Snotlout is angrier, but that could just be the fact that he’s stuck on traffic duty during an important investigation.

Home is quiet though, and Hiccup is restless. As much as his back appreciates the break, he doesn’t need the extra time to think. He could research, given his renewed access and enthusiasm about the archives, but he can’t think about Grimborn without thinking ahead like a meteorologist tracking Hurricane Death. That and as much as he’d like to hang out with Astrid, he’s not sure she feels the same and if she doesn’t, he doesn’t know if he can blame her.

She’s been texting him, mostly pictures from the Berk Enquirer. She found some article from the summer of eighteen eighty-five suggesting an earthquake was actually caused by a dragon fighting ring in a giant arena under the bay and asked for his thoughts on the topic. He said it seemed plausible, given that no one actually knows what’s under the earth as it hurtles through space like a Frisbee and she sent back a string of angry emojis that made him laugh, but flat earth jokes aren’t necessarily communication.

“Oh my God, dude, what are you wearing?” He barely gets two steps in the door after helping Gobber check people into the shelter on Friday night before Snotlout’s outfit accosts him from across the living room. “Or should I say what aren’t you wearing?” Hiccup pulls down the collar of his tee-shirt to mimic the deep V of Snotlout’s shirt.

“What?”

“You left the part of your shirt that covers your lack of tan in your closet, you might want to check on that before you blind someone.”

“Very funny,” Snotlout grabs his jacket, “I’m going to go get a beer, want to come?”

“Even I know I shouldn’t spend my last five dollars on beer.”

“If you want me to cover you, just ask, don’t be so cryptic all the time,” he chides as he rolls his eyes, waving Hiccup along behind him.

“I wasn’t asking you to cover me.” Hiccup clarifies on the way downstairs and Snotlout shrugs.

“Whatever, dude, keep telling yourself that.” He looks both ways before continuing, voice low, “they still don’t know it’s your fake leg, by the way, have you heard anything from Eretson?”

“Nope, apparently I learned how to shut up at a really convenient time, I just needed some pressure.”

“Well keep the pressure on, I doubt your closed mouth is permanent, and they’re no closer to solving this, even with Mr. Creepy skulking around the station.” Snotlout shudders, “the guy isn’t even helpful, he just looms over everyone’s shoulders. He caught me online shopping the other day and he just watched.”

“It’s a good thing I’m sure you were shopping for totally work appropriate stuff, as you always do,” Hiccup raises an eyebrow and Snotlout glares at him.

“Shut up, Hiccup.”

Gruff’s is busy but not packed yet, and they’re lucky enough to get a booth along the wall. Snotlout sends Hiccup to the bar to get drinks and Gruffnut jokes about his growth spurt instead of asking for ID. That’s something that wouldn’t happen anywhere else in Berk these days, the bars down on the main street that charge ten dollars for some locally made shitty whiskey usually end up asking Hiccup for two IDs if he makes the mistake of shaving too close to going. It makes him want to ask how Gruffnut manages to pay rent if Heather is struggling, but he guesses this is a worse neighborhood.

Or was, maybe murders happening so close to the condos will equalize property values a little bit.

Who’s he kidding? They’ll probably skyrocket. He saw his first article relating the current duo of murders to Viggo Grimborn this morning and couldn’t help but read it. It got a lot wrong, even ascribing to the theory that the third victim’s fiancé did it to first scare her into staying off the street and then to cover his tracks, but Hiccup gets the feeling it did what it was supposed to. Someone at the shelter was complaining about motel prices doubling nearly overnight and Berserker Tours added a RSVP tab to the website that Hiccup told himself he wouldn’t check, but when he did it was scheduling three weeks out.

Snotlout dutifully doesn’t listen to Hiccup’s rant about it, staring idly around the room like if he looks bored enough Hiccup won’t know he’s looking for a target. It makes Hiccup think about texting Astrid for what must be the hundredth time this week, and he sets his phone on the table where his pocket can’t accidentally make that decision for him.

“…absolute lying, thieving sack of shit!” The insult rises above the noise of the crowd mid-sentence and a few heads turn towards the end of the bar by the door. Hiccup turns in the booth to investigate and thinks he recognizes the blonde woman yelling at Gruffnut, hands planted on the weathered counter. “Don’t play dumb with me, I know exactly how dumb you are and you aren’t going to get away with acting any dumber than that!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Gruffnut whistles, cleaning a glass with a filthy rag, “must have been Tuff.”

“Is that?” Snotlout frowns, talking mostly to himself. “I think that’s—”

“Ruff!”

Hiccup recognizes Astrid’s voice instantly and jumps to his feet, but Snotlout is already across the room, holding Ruffnut back as she’s trying to claw her way over the counter.

“Let’s calm down here—”

“I don’t need a cop to protect me from my dweeby little girl cousin, Snotlout.”

Ruffnut’s yell is primal and she elbows Snotlout in the chest almost hard enough for him to lose his grip.

“You absolute piece of shit, if you don’t find my money I’m going to kill you and claim next of kin, you creepy body snatching—”

“Ruff, calm down,” Astrid tries again, catching Ruffnut’s arm before she can take another swing at Snotlout.

“I don’t even have to hide it, I can just disembowel it in the street at a specific location and—”

“Hey!” Astrid booms, shoving Snotlout and Ruffnut out of the way and evidently taking the problem into her own hands. “Just give her the money, Gruff. And while you’re at it, I’d like my fifty bucks back.”

“You never loaned me fifty bucks, that was Tuffnut.”

“How about a free round,” Hiccup inserts himself, leaning elbows on the bar next to her and waving sheepishly when she cocks her head, surprised but not unhappy to see him. “Or I’ll tell Snotlout to release the beast over there.”

“He doesn’t listen to you,” Gruffnut narrows his eyes but starts pouring four shitty beers anyway.

“I might not have a choice,” Snotlout grunts as Ruffnut flings herself back against him, trying to kick at the bar, “fuck, she’s strong.”

“Flattery won’t work on me,” she grunts, yanking Snotlout’s arm off of her waist and turning to face him. Her posture changes instantly, hip cocked as she twirls long hair around her finger, “oh, yours might.”

“This isn’t even the first situation this week that my good looks have diffused,” Snotlout grabs two beers off of the counter and hands one to Ruffnut, smiling smugly at Gruffnut, “you should be glad to have me around.”

“Yeah, I’ll be glad to have you around the day it’s legal to charge cops ten percent more.” He grumbles, walking to the other end of the bar to serve someone else, “can’t even have a bar fight with your cousin these days. Fucking nanny state.”

“So…” Hiccup looks at Astrid as Ruffnut and Snotlout head back to the booth, “there’s a story here.”

“Yeah,” she tucks a lock of her hair behind her ear, ponytail slightly crooked, likely from her own attempt to hold Ruffnut back, “I should probably tell it, I doubt Ruffnut has the attention span right now.”

Of course Ruffnut and Snotlout are sharing one side of the booth and Hiccup tries to be casual as Astrid slides in next to him, accidentally bumping his shoulder as she takes off her jacket and sets it between them. It’s not much of a buffer because it smells like her shampoo, floral even above the cigarette smell ingrained decades deep into the wood paneling on the wall, and Hiccup tries to focus on anything but the memory of encyclopedias falling in tune with his pounding heart.

“Guess what?” Ruffnut is too pleased with herself to really look annoyed, “after all, it turns out that Snotlout wouldn’t have minded you giving me his number. All that arguing for nothing.”

“Not for nothing,” Snotlout stretches an arm across the back of the booth, “I didn’t mind holding you back, babe.”

“I mean I’d rather you didn’t hold me back,” she grins, “and we were wearing less or it was strategically pushed aside—”

“Oh my God!” Astrid chugs about half of her beer in a single gulp, cheeks practically glowing and a stern expression on her face. “I’m sorry about her, Snotlout, thank you for helping me save my friend from assaulting someone.”

“Again, I don’t mind,” Snotlout winks and Hiccup usually asks him how he thinks anyone could think that looks cool, but now he’s just remembering how stupid he must have looked doing the same at Astrid and asking her to kiss him again.

And then they found a body.

That’s still a change in tone he hasn’t found a way to navigate.

“I kind of do,” Ruffnut puffs out her cheeks and releases the air in a small, deflated puff, “the holding me back part, I mean. Free beer is my favorite, but it takes a lot of free beer to add up to a thousand dollars.”

“Less to fifty,” Astrid snorts, “I might be up to it.”

“That would be like sixteen of these on happy hour,” Hiccup turns his glass between his hands, “I’m not doubting your power, but…”

“After the week I’ve had, I might be up to it,” she shakes her head, obviously tired. It looks different than the kind of tired he saw when he showed up at her door too late or too early, or the kind of tired she was when she just had to wait for his eleven o’clock tour to yell one last theory down at him. It’s deeper and he hates that he knows why she can’t sleep.

“So, how do you guys know Gruff?” Hiccup changes the subject before it can drift naturally into Grimborn and all the ways its meaning might be changing.

“Are you kidding me?” Ruffnut points at her face and then absently over her left shoulder with a habitual thumb. “Oh, shit, Tuff isn’t here right now, that would be confusing.”

“He’s Ruffnut’s cousin,” Astrid explains, “and her brother’s doppleganger, it’s a whole long confusing story.”

“Well, I don’t have anywhere to be.” Hiccup tries to feel natural but Snotlout’s easy arm on the back of the other side of the booth makes his heart race when he even thinks about doing the same to Astrid. He remembers what she felt like against him, the strong set of her shoulders under his hands, the curve of her waist, and his entire body itches to pull her into his side now.

Not that there’s any indication she’d let him. She might see him and remember an alley she never wants to see again with him presenting it like Vanna White happily revealing the prize behind door number three.

“He takes my twin brother’s clothes and asks for money or stuff and when he gets it, he falls off the face of the earth again. Last time it was Tuff owing tax money so of course I gave it to him,” Ruffnut rubs her temple, “I’m too good of a sister, that’s the whole problem.”

“How alike could they possibly look?” Snotlout asks, grinning when Ruffnut is apparently happy to be blinded by his chest.

“It’s…kind of creepy, actually,” Astrid sighs, “I didn’t believe it until Tuffnut didn’t pay back some money I loaned him. He’s usually good about that stuff but he just kept insisting I never loaned him anything, and then I met Gruffnut.” She waves her hand towards the bar, ponytail swinging for emphasis.

“You know, babe, if you had a case for identity theft,” Snotlout waggles his eyebrows and Ruffnut pouts, crumpling into his side, head dramatically on his shoulder. He wraps his arm easily around her waist and Astrid sits up straighter, so rigid if Hiccup didn’t know better he’d think she was a wax statue.

A wax statue that had its post-forming makeup touched up by someone red-green colorblind trying to make an absolutely gorgeous Wicked Witch of the West, but still.

“I wish,” Ruffnut groans, “Tuffnut worships the ground the guy walks on.”

“I get it,” Snotlout nods, “that’s how Hiccup feels about me, some cousins just have that energy.” He grins, looking pointedly at Hiccup’s awkward arm, setting limply in his lap like he forgot how to move it. “Some don’t.”

“I get that you’re pissed, Ruff, I am too, but maybe it’s not the time for the disemboweling threats,” Astrid says it like the words are likely to bounce back at her so she doesn’t want to sharpen them too much.

“Why not?” Ruffnut snorts and gestures at Hiccup, “I’m in the right company.”

“Right, that’s me,” Hiccup nods to himself, “the disemboweled body guy. It’s good to finally officially introduce myself.”

This is going great.

“Oh, we’ve met,” Ruffnut raises an eyebrow, “how’s the tour business? I bet it’s picking up with some crazy mimic on the loose.”

“Babe, I’m not supposed to talk about it, but I can’t help myself around you so I’ll just say that the police have no actual reason to link the murders,” Snotlout tries to steer the conversation and Astrid glares at him. “Aside from, you know, some obnoxious weirdos or whatever.”

“If you’re not supposed to talk about it, maybe don’t talk about it.”

“I didn’t,” he rolls his eyes, “I said what we haven’t found, which is not the same as saying what we have—”

“How about none of us talk about it?” Hiccup tries, drumming his hands on the edge of the table, “anyone read any good books lately?”

“Nope,” Astrid looks at him helplessly then, wide eyes begging him to keep a secret. A bookish secret, apparently.

Oh, their secret. It makes sense that what happened at the archives would get lost in the whirlwind of finding a body, but Hiccup can’t quite stop himself from assuming she regrets it.

“Right, like it’s possible to avoid talking about it,” Ruffnut points at the TV over the bar, where the news is showing a juxtaposition of a picture of the alley from the Grimborn file along with a modern picture.

“…police response has been sluggish, given the repeated nature of the murders and the plausible connection to the Viggo Grimborn case—”

“I’ll put it on Sports Center,” Snotlout stands up and Astrid follows.

“What? So we can watch more Superbowl reruns?”

Snotlout grins, “not a Pats fan?”

“Don’t talk to me,” she shoves him hard enough that he stumbles and makes a bee-line for the tv.

“Is it because you’re a sore loser or what?” Snotlout starts in on his favorite argument.

“Well, there goes his night,” Hiccup tries to joke with Ruffnut even as he watches Astrid’s furious, irritated expression. She takes the remote from Snotlout’s hand and changes the channel, ignoring a few complaints at the bar. “Especially because it looks like Astrid has an opinion on the topic.”

Ruffnut narrows her eyes and Hiccup clears his throat, unused to the position of Designated Normal Person and unsure if he’s doing it right.

“So umm, football?”

“Did you do it?” Ruffnut whispers, leaning close across the table.

“Football?” Hiccup laughs, “yeah, look at me. I was a championship kicker, won the big game for the whole town and—”

“No, the murders,” she clarifies, shrewd even as she tries to look casual. “I’m just saying, it’s a little suspicious that you were giving murder site tours to my best friend both times they happened.”

“No, I did not murder two people.”

“Because I mean it, Astrid is my absolute best friend, and if you’re getting her entangled in some weird serial killer cult, she won’t be the one getting blamed for it.” It’s too matter of fact to be a threat, like the sequence of events already exists in a universe Hiccup really doesn’t want to get to.

“I’m not introducing Astrid to a murderous cult.”

“Well, I know you guys aren’t hooking up because if you were, she’d probably have something more interesting to talk about than stupid Viggo Grimborn.” Ruffnut looks him up and down appraisingly, “maybe.”

“I’m not introducing Astrid to a murderous cult,” Hiccup repeats the truth, willing his expression flat.

“HGTV?” Snotlout scoffs over the crowd, “right, for all the renovating you do in your shitty apartment.”

“It’s aspirational,” Astrid jumps and neatly sets the remote on top of the tv where Snotlout can’t reach it. “Unlike the NFL’s stance that their system is really totally fine even if the competition has devolved into who gets cheated by a bunch of—”

“That’s my cue,” Ruffnut drains her beer and stands up, “she gets on me for threatening my dipshit cousin and then she starts dissing the Patriots in a bar in the middle of Downtown Berk. I don’t know what she’d do without me.”

“Always a pleasure, Ruff,” Hiccup waves before slumping forward, smacking his forehead on the table a couple of times for good measure.

Astrid regrets kissing him, her best friend thinks he’s more likely to be into ritualistic murder than to have a chance with her. He’s broke. Someone might be a ritualistic serial killer and their shared interest in Berk’s history is making him more broke.

He expects Snotlout to start right in on making fun of his absolutely disastrous performance with Astrid, so he’s shocked when someone quietly slides into the booth across from him. He doesn’t expect to look up and see Astrid biting her lip and staring pensively at her beer.

“Where—”

“They just left together,” she cuts him off with an awkward laugh, “just so you know.”

“Ah,” Hiccup pushes his hair back, half-relieved and half-jealous, unsure where the feelings overlap. He’d love to not be here, but Astrid seems committed to being exactly where she is, so he’s committed. “So I’m stuck here for a while then.”

“I wouldn’t worry too much about it,” she shrugs a stiff shoulder, “you’ve met Ruffnut, it’s not like she’s shy about…well, anything.”

“Oh no, not—It’s not about her, it’s for my own good.” He laughs, wishing she’d sat back next to him at the same time as he’s glad to be able to see her face, slowly relaxing away from it’s coiled, anxious expression. “Snotlout’s a screamer.”

She snorts mid-drink, clapping her hand over her nose and coughing.

“Sorry,” he shoves a crumpled napkin at her before re-thinking it, “never mind, I wouldn’t trust anything on this table—”

“I’m fine,” she wipes her nose on her sleeve and pointedly changes the subject, “how have you been? Usually I don’t have to ask because I see you every night outside my window.” She doesn’t mention why he’s not doing tours and that makes it more obvious.

Or maybe it’s obvious all on its own and he’s just skirting the issue by making her snort beer out of her nose.

“I’m good. Fine. You?” He wouldn’t try to deny that he’s asking how traumatized she is. In fact, he probably deserves an award for not tacking on a rating scale. One means she needs a ride to a licensed mental health professional immediately, ten means she’s smart enough to never want to see him again because he’s obviously a weirdo dragging her towards the macabre and it’s not good for her.

He’s hoping for like a six, meaning she’d take a hug but won’t necessarily make him talk about it.

“I just said I’m fine,” her half smile accuses him of being a little bit stupid and he can’t help but remember how soft her lips were. How weirdly sweet she was when she tried to save his tour. How adorably embarrassed she was when she impossibly let it slip that she thought he did something sexy, like that’s a word anyone has ever associated with him, least of all someone like Astrid.

And then they found a body.

“Good.” As bad as Hiccup is at performing the role of Designated Normal Person, he’s even worse at having nothing to say.

“Thanks, by the way,” Astrid clears her throat, sniffing like there’s still beer where it shouldn’t be, “for not telling Ruffnut about…you know, the other day.”

“Which part?” Hiccup scratches the back of his head, “because I think she knows about the whole umm…finding a body part, given she thinks I’m the killer.”

“She doesn’t seem to get that people can have a shared interest and nothing more.” Her words sting but her blush doesn’t.

“Right, shared interests always lead to ritualistic murder,” he nods, elbows on the table as he leans a little closer to not have to say murder so loud, “I don’t see the flaw in that logic.”

“Either murder or the inevitable ‘sex in a murder alley’ she keeps insisting is a thing.” Astrid is either very cruel or has no idea of her ability to short circuit minds.

“Yeah, that sounds pretty morbid and drafty,” Hiccup laughs, his heart slamming around his ribcage apparently untethered, “plus, if ritualistic murder alley sex was on the table, your apartment is already a murder site so…” He swallows hard, wishing the floor would do the same to him. “Not a new one—"

“Don’t remind me,” she says seriously, clearly choosing not to hear the worst of what he just said, and he’s an idiot who can’t take an out.

“So no point in risking the public indecency charge, I guess.” He gestures between them and shakes his head, “not that ‘murder alley sex’ is a thing that exists at all, let alone with—you know, you. Or me. Or—"

“Don’t you mean my apartment isn’t a new murder scene yet?” Her laugh is humorless and heavy as she cautiously meets his eyes. “I hate to even say it, but do you think it’s a Grimborn thing?”

Hiccup’s stomach twists and looking into her tired face, he wishes he was a better liar, “I guess we’ll find out.”

“If it is,” she looks at him carefully, her assessment entirely perpendicular to Ruffnut’s, “if someone is killing people like Viggo Grimborn did, how can we just sit there doing nothing? If this—what are you going to do about it?”

He knows the correct answer to that question. It’s been drilled into him again and again since before he can remember. Hell, probably since before he could walk.

The police are dealing with it. The system works. Getting in the way only slows down the process.

But he can’t say that because Astrid knows that means nothing. It’s an empty thing he’d say to tell her to move on with her life while people are getting hurt, to pretend that mental blinders do anything other than hide suffering. And she’s too smart for that. Too smart and too honest to go along with it.

And she doesn’t scare easy.

“Probably something stupid,” he shrugs and she nods, apparently satisfied with the answer.

“Sounds about right.”

[grandthorkiday]

Mob AU “Playthings”

[Link to Anon’s Mob!AU headcanons tag]

[Link to mob!au anon’s “Playthings" fic tag]

[Go to Part 2]*

(*Note: Link is editable for other parts, just change the number. For mobile users, tag is “playthings part2”)

The first time Valkyrie Brunnhilde met Loki, he was nineteen. She was a beat cop back then, barely out of the academy. He had turned up at hospital on her shift badly beated and coming down from being high. At that time, no one had reported or knew about what happened a year previously. When she had gone to get his statement, she had quickly learned. Or least learned what Loki had felt divulging.

“My brother and I, we’ve been kidnapped.”

“By who?”

He had shook his head nervously. “You won’t believe me. You could be working for him. I shouldn’t have said anything. I-I just want to go home. Will you let me go home?”

“You said you were kidnapped. We’re not going to pump the breaks on something like that. Either you lied, which means I can arrest you for filing a false police report, or you tell me.” Looking back she knew she had been harsh with him. She was new, and hadn’t learned how to speak to victims.

Loki did however did tell her.

“The Grandmaster.”

“En Dwi Gast? The mob boss?”

“I knew you wouldn’t believe me.” He had sneered at her and nearly walked out of the hospital right then and there.

To this day, Val would never know how she had gotten him to stay. Possibly it was because the doctor refused to discharge Loki until he had spent a night for observation. Maybe it was because Loki knew this was his best shot at freedom. Whatever it was, she had gotten a small quick summary of the last year for the kid: he and his brother had been kidnapped from a bar while out celebrating. They had been kept in the basement of one of the eccentric mobster’s many homes for six months before being moved to one of his full floor penthouses.

“He leaves us with some of his men sometimes to be punished. He says he doesn’t like to see us hurt. I…I refused to…to give him head.”

“He’s raping you?”

“Both of us. Thor is still there. He left with him. To some other place. He separates us sometimes. When one of us is…when one of us doesn’t do as he says. You need to get Thor! Please! He’s my older brother and he’s always looked out for me! I’m adopted and…” He had looked away at that. “Please help.”

“I will, you have my word.”

[read more cut]

She had given him her information, promising to return with detectives and the full weight of the NYPD. When she did return the next morning with two detectives from SVU and one from Major Crimes, she found him gone. The doctor explained that Loki’s brother and ‘a family friend’ had came early in the morning and picked him up. He had gone willingly. Security video showed the ‘family friend’ to be a lieutenant of the Sakaar mob family.

“You’ll see him again,” the Major Crimes detective had assured her. “Or what’s left of him once they melt him down.”

That turned out not to be the case. For the next four years, Loki and Thor were frequent flyers in several ERs around the city. A few times Loki even requested her, and she would rush to see him. Half the time she barely caught sight of him as a another ‘family friend’ escorted him out. The other half, when she did see him, he was increasingly not willing to follow up on his first claim of being kidnapped.

“If I say anything, Thor could get hurt! Or worse! It happened the first time. He was so mad. He made Thor sleep in the basement after….,” he fiddled with the hospital gown. “Can you tell our parents…that we love them? And our sister. We’re okay, honest.”

“Loki,” Val had said gently, “you have a broken arm and bruises from head to toe and your came in here so fucking high you were nearly overdosing. You’re not okay.”

“Please.”

After that, Val switched tactics. Mostly because she had been promoted from beat cop to Narcotics, but also a feeling she needed to do something more. She leaked several of her interviews and notes about Loki and Thor to the press. After all, she reasoned, En Dwi Gast was a provocateur and press junkie. Exposed in such a way by the very journalists, pundits, and hosts whose attention he sought may make him slip up and lead to Loki and Thor being free.

That was not the case.

First, Loki was picked in a raid on a drug den owned by the Sakaar mob. He was overdosing and had to get his stomach pumped. On him, he still carried her card, so she was called on the assumption this was one of her informers.

It was at this point she met Thor for the first time. He had come to the hospital alone. It was hard to believe the tall muscular man was a prisoner. That was until he spoke. There was a hollowness in the eyes she was beginning to recognize from abuse victims and a stuttering in the voice at times. He seemed unable to truly stare at her directly, speaking to a tile right behind her head. When he spoke to Loki is was heartbreaking.

“I could have lost you. I’d be alone…with Him.”

“I didn’t mean…I just wanted to forget for a little while.”

“Not like that. Never like that. Promise me, you will throw everything away.”

“I-”

“For me?”

Neither wanted to speak about Grandmaster.

“He’s….we’re his companions.” Thor told the bedside cabinet.

They left the hospital in a cab they hired, their destination was the Gladiator Hotel.

After that, they were seen often. By everyone in New York. They were beside the Grandmaster as he opened up a new wrestling stadium. They joined him on calls to the most popular radio call and morning talk shows in town. They were with him at art galleries, opera houses, and sporting events. They smiled and cuddled close as cameras flashed. They flirtatiously bantered.

“So Loki about those articles-”

“Oh God!”

“Claiming you were kidnapped-”

“Oh I remember this now-”

“Lies and lies! Utter shi-”

“Uh Lo Lo there’s kids listening. It’s a family show!”

“We were talking about morning sex like two minutes ago. No, but to answer your question, I honestly don’t know where people get this nonsense!”

“Like my supposed ties to the Russian mob, like honestly!”

“Apparently you’ve been in the hospital-”

“I’m a recovering addict! What I did is in the past!”

That exchange happened the day she was transferred to Major Crimes. Val remembered listening to it with a few other detectives, feeling sick in her stomach. It would be a year into her transfer that she finally told her new partner about her history with the ‘Grandmaster’s boys".

“Fuck. I mean, y'know you did everything you could right,” Bruce Banner said from over his plate.

“Apart from killing the bastard.”

“Gast has been doing all sort of shit for twenty five years. I bet these two aren’t his first…boys.”

“Has he kept them this long before though?”

“I honestly don’t know. You said their Odin Valhalla’s kids, right? Maybe, he’s using them to get to the Dad?”

“I honestly think in he some twisted fucked up way thinks he loves them. Like he a kid loves his toys…”

Three more years passed. Val kept most articles about Loki and Thor, any that had even a shred of ambiguity. She tried to get in contact with Odin, the famous attorney. At first, he politely refused to speak about ‘private family matters’. After his wife died, however, he threatened to have her charged with harassment.

It was freezing day in January. The sun barely warmed anyone as it shone down. Val had stopped at Starbucks and had picked her usual latte and Bruce’s tea. She had barely sat down the tray and asked about the daily reports when her desk phone rang.

“Is this Officer Valkyrie Brunnhilde?”

“Detective, but yes.”

“This is Dr Jane Foster…do you know a Loki Valhalla?”

She nearly dropped the phone. “Yes.”

“He’s here an-”

“How long has he been there?”

“Three days.”

“Is he….dead?”

“Oh no! He’s um…he’s in recovery. He was dropped in front of the ER. He was barely conscious and severely injured. We feared we could have lost time for awhile. When he woke up, he asked for you. Are you his next of kin?”

“Right now, yes. Give the address.” She made motions to Bruce to hand over a pad of paper and pen. She wrote it down hastily. “You wanna go take down Sakaar?”

“I don’t even get to enjoy my tea?”

“I’ll drive. Call this number. It’s to Hela Valhalla. Tell her she needs to call meet me tonight. Usual place.”

“Now I’m a secretary!” But he was smiling. “What do we got?”

“We got Loki. He’s been in the hospital for two days. No lawyers, no thugs, no Gast.”

“No Thor?”

“Nope. We have to go. Now.”

[queerchoicesblog]

News From The Ludus (ACOR, Lena x MC)

Lucilla is shaken by what she discovered at the ludus with Cassius: Syphax is alive but not free anymore as he’s been sold as a gladiator and Victus is in Rome. Although happy to be so close to her dad, Lucilla (MC) feels guilty for Syphax being sold as a slave. Lena goes talk to her and...she has a message from Marc Anthony about an ominous meeting at a popina. Consider this an alternative (and a bit angsty) version of the aftermath of the ludus of yesterday's chapter. Hope you lovelies like it!

Word Count: 1862

Tagging: @brightpinkpeppercorn @jellymonster @gayestchoices

__________________________

Lena was standing in the hall of her scholae, going through the plan for the upcoming debut of one of her girls. "That's what's gonna happen tonight, in short. But worry not, Madi, I'll be right there with you and so will be your bodyguard. Remember that I won't ask you to do anything against your will: if you don't feel safe or comfortable with certain requests, just signal your bodyguard and if the patron complains, he'll come to me and we’ll find a fair agreement. You may be a courtesan, girl, but you'll never be a slave, got it?" The girl nodded and shyly thanked her domina. Then, raising her eyes, she noticed the woman approaching. "Oh Lucilla, you're back! How did it -" she said chirpily but didn't finish the sentence. She befriended the Princess of Gaul and enjoyed her company. But she had never seen her like that. The Gallic girl, her face pale and unreadable, made a beeline for the sleeping quarters without answering nor making eye contact with anyone in the room. She stormed away like a ghost. "What happened? Is she okay?" Madi asked to her domina, genuinely worried for her friend. Lena gave her a weak smile and looked back to the corridor. "I'm sure it's nothing, but if you don't have any further questions, I'll go check on her" The girl shook her head and headed to the garden. Lena tried her best to conceal her concern as she walked to Lucilla's room.

------ When she finally reached her chamber, Lucilla shut off the curtain and tossed the tiara she was wearing across the room. The sound of metal hitting the stone floor woke Cirta. The little monkey was peacefully dozing off on an armchair and shrieked, scared by the sudden ruckus. He fell to the ground and looked around to see what was happening. When his eyes fell on the Gaul he gave her a quizzical look. The girl rushed to her bed and started punching her pillow, silently weeping. When Cirta spotted a tear on her cheek, he made a dash to her and pulled at the hem of her blue dress. But she didn't seem to notice. She groaned and grabbed her head. "What have I done?" she whispered to herself, closing her eyes. When she opened them a minute later, her little monkey was holding a grape an inch from her nose, smiling encouragingly. "Oh Cirta! I'm afraid this won't be enough to fix this" she sighed, pulling him into a hug. The monkey's tiny arms wrapped around her. At that very moment, Lena appeared on the threshold. ------------ "Lucilla? Are you here?" Lena asked, grazing her fingertips against the curtain. No answer. Lena cautiously pulled it back and almost bumped into Cirta who was running full speed towards her. He stumbled to his feet not expecting the woman to anticipate his moves. Then he recollected himself and made some incomprehensible noises while pointing at his owner. He shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, giving Lena a pleading look as if he meant to say 'She's not okay, she even refused a grape so it must be serious...fix her, please?'. Lena's eyes moved from him to the young woman sitting on her bed, knees pressed against her chest. "Lucilla? Are you okay?" she said, drawing the curtain and sitting beside her. The Gaul remained quiet for a while, while Lena put a comforting arm around her shoulders. Then she spoke: "I messed up, Lena" "What did you mess up? What happened?" "Syphax" her voice cracked. Lena froze. "What happened to him? Did he-" "He's alive. He won the match and was rehabilitated. I spoke to him" Lena sighed in relief. "May the Gods be praised! I was so worried that he might...oh no, need to think about that now! He's alive...but where is he? He didn't come back with you" "Marc Anthony released him from the charges but made him a gladiator. He sold him to ludus owners. He's a slave now" the younger woman explained. Lena gaped and frowned. "This can't be...Syphax...when I recruited him for the scholae, I promised him that he would be always free from that day on. That time of our lives was over for good, I said" she hanged her head in defeat. Lucilla shattered her jaw. "And it's all my fault" Lena turned to her. "What are you saying? How can it be your fault?" Lucilla turned to look at her. "I tried to save him. I asked Cassius for help but he said his hands were tied, there was very little he could do....so I asked Mark Anthony for favours and-" Lena's eyes flashed with anger. "You did what?" Lucilla stood and walked a bit further from Lena, crossing her arms. "I had no choice! I couldn't stand there and let Syphax get sentenced for that crime but Cassius said he couldn't help-" "So you went to that snake?!" Lena hissed, standing too. Lucilla fiercely stood her ground. "I had to, Lena! There was no other way!" "Do you have the slightest idea of what asking favours to Marc Anthony mean? What a man like him might ask you in return? You cannot trust a viper, Lucilla!" "And I don't! But sometimes you have to do things like that for a greater good" "Let's hope this greater good of yours won't kill you then! ‘Cause everything is possible when you owe to wolves like Marc Anthony" Lena groaned and diverted her eyes. Lucilla spoke again, anxious to proving her point. "But I did save Syphax from certain death, at least"  "Yes, you did. Even if the life of a slave can hardly be called life...but he hasn't met the Lord of the Underworld yet, yes. That's what counts now" the domina sighed. She turned back to Lucilla. The Gaul's emerald eyes were fierce and glimmering in the light of the day. "I only hope you won't meet him any time soon too and with Marc Anthony involved I just cannot tell. Why don't you ever listen to me, Lucilla?" Lena gave her a pained smile. The Gallic girl grimaced and took a step closer. "I'm so sorry, Lena. I should have...I'm mortified about what happened to Syphax, he being a slave...it didn't have to end this way! I just did what I thought was right. And Marc Anthony played me, I should have known better. I only wanted him back. I couldn't lose one of the few friends I made over here, not after what I've been through with my people. The Roman can't take everything away from me or the ones I care" she said grimly. "They took nothing away from you, Lucilla. The Gaul you were born in, your people, your family...they will never leave you. Just close your eyes and you see that they still live inside of you. We can be in chains, they can drag us away from our homeland and the ones we love, but we will be always free. Freedom is in your mind, never forget that, wild flower" Lucilla looked into the other woman's eyes: she was still struggling to accept that truth. Lena frowned visibly as she spoke again. "As much as I do not agree with your plan, don't blame yourself for Sypax’s fate, you did everything you could. Maybe even too much" the woman grimaced. "Now it all makes sense though. You got my message, right?" "What's next?" Lucilla sighed. "Marc Anthony. He commanded you to join him and other senators to a popina by the docks. Immediately" The Gallic girl exhaled loudly. "Lucilla, please promise you'll be careful. That man is up to something, Jupiter knows what but I bet it's something malicious. Gathering senators in a popina is most unconventional, to say the least...and the fact that he commanded you concerns me even more" "I'll be careful, I promise. I'm always wary, Lena" Lena gave her a weak smile. "I hope so. Now...I feel you should get prepared" Lucilla interrupted her. She was fidgeting with her own hands, a hint of a smile on her lips. "Hm, Lena? I bring other news from the arena" Lena gave a surprised look. "Good ones?" The Gaul looked at her smiling broadly. "My father is in Rome!" Lena gasped in surprise as the girl pulled her into a hug. Cirta cheered too on the bed and jumped up and down excitedly. Lucilla kept talking, excitement in her voice: "He fought in the arena too and won. You should have seen him Lena! The other gladiator was a good fighter but no one has ever defeated dad! Ever! I...thought I've have never seen him again and he's here!" "I'm so happy to hear that, Lucilla! The Gods listened to your prayers" the domina said smiling back at her when they parted. "Yes, they did! I'm just annoyed that they called him 'The Conquered King', the Roman always need to belittle their enemies" the girl pouted. Lena lifted her chin with a finger. "That name hardly fits him. If he's anything like his daughter, he must be a fierce warrior" "Oh he is!" Lucilla beamed with pride "The best warrior of whole Gaul! Sadly, I couldn't see him today but Cassius offered to give him an armor suitable for a King just as he deserves. He knows a smith who will do it, he said!" Lena smiled again, less brightly this time but her voice didn't flinch. "That's very thoughtful of Cassius. I'm glad to see he truly cares about you. Talking about your father...if he fought in the arena, he's a gladiator too. Do you know the name of his owner?" Lucilla shook her head frowning. "Nevermind, we'll find it out. I'll try and visit Syphax later. I'll ask to see your father too. Maybe there's something good old Lena can do for this Gallic famiy" she said, gently tucking a loose strand of the girl's hair behind her ear. Lucilla stared at her in awe and hooked her arms around her neck. "Will you, Lena? For real? Oh thank you!" "I promised to help you as I can, right? And I always keep my promises, you should know that" the domina said breaking free of the embrace. "Now I’m afraid you should really get ready for this meeting with Marc Anthony as much as I hate the idea of you going there. Refresh yourself and oh I know just the thing for you. I have the perfect dress for you, let me get it" Lucilla immediately went to grab some water Cirta in tow. Lena picked one dress from the wardrobe and returned towards the hall. There, before heading back to the girl's room, she stopped Alexios, one of the new bodyguards she recruited. He leaned closer to him and whispered into his ear: "I want you at the docks tonight. Follow the Princess of Gaul as she leaves to her upcoming meeting but don't let her catch you. Just keep your eyes peeled off out there and protect her if things go south. I have a bad feeling about this request".

[bbclesmis]

Josh O’Connor: Every actor should just turn up on time, be nice and learn the lines

The actor has charmed as Larry in The Durrells and next up he plays Marius in Les Miserables and Prince Charles in The Crown

Unremittingly grim is how I would describe the BBC’s Les Misérables. Andrew Davies’s song-free adaptation of Victor Hugo’s novel is a litany of grinding poverty, injustice, corruption and exploitation occasionally leavened, if that’s the right word, by short bursts of extreme peril. It’s also completely gripping.

This weekend’s episode introduces a new face. Until now Marius Pontmercy has appeared only as an angelic moppet, parroting royalist slogans fed to him by his overbearing grandfather, Monsieur Gillenormand. Now time moves on and we see him as a young law student, played by Josh O’Connor. It’s an episode full of upheaval for young Pontmercy: without giving too much away, there’s a girl, a family bombshell and a political awakening.

When we meet in a central London café, O’Connor, 28, whom viewers might recognise as Larry from ITV’s The Durrells, is considerably jollier than his earnest student. Dressed in jeans and a well-loved chunky sweater, his very dark, very curly hair constantly threatening insubordination, he is excellent company — all smiles and unfailingly polite. As we talk, it’s clear that, although he’s having a delightful time at the moment (the cast and crew on Les Misérables were “lovely”; working on it and The Crown — he will play the young Prince Charles in the third season, of which more later — had him “wide-eyed and pinching yourself”), he’s very serious about work. He has even read Hugo’s novel, which in unabridged English translation tends towards 1,500 pages.

“I know, that’s mad, isn’t it?” he says. “And I’m a terrible reader. I’m very dyslexic and I find it incredibly hard. It was a struggle, but the themes of it — it’s all about redemption essentially. I was obsessed with that idea, which I’ve stolen from my dad, who is an English teacher. He’s always been really interested in forgiveness and redemption and hope, and it’s very present in that book.”

Although the story is set in Paris between 1815 and 1832, O’Connor thinks it retains its relevance. “There were different translations for the title, like ‘The Wretched’, ‘The Wretched Poor’, ‘The Dispossessed’. I think they’re more accurate. It’s all about class, and the forgotten and the sidelined, which is obviously relevant to now. Marius has an important role in that he is like the audience looking in — he exists as part of a higher social class, but he has this social conscience.

“Obviously we’re in different times, but I would say that we’re experiencing politics in the extreme on both sides at the moment. And while we’re not building barricades, we are setting up camp outside parliament, and how that has manifested itself in recent news has been pretty nasty. To me it seems that there are lines to be drawn from that.”

So upright is Pontmercy — even when languishing in a filthy garret — that you might not immediately make the link between the young lawyer and the role that made O’Connor’s name, the taciturn Yorkshire farmer Johnny Saxby in Francis Lee’s extraordinary 2017 film God’s Own Country. The similarities are almost non-existent — apart from anything else, it took O’Connor’s Saxby about half the film before he cracked a smile. O’Connor’s committed performance as the emotionally inarticulate youth being painfully and beautifully taught how to love and be loved by the tenderness of another man was universally praised and earned him a Bafta rising star nomination and a best actor win at the British Independent Film Awards, among other accolades. Not that he had much choice about commitment: Lee made him spend nearly four weeks working full-time on the farm where the film was shot before they started.

“John, the farmer, he’s an incredible man. He hadn’t had a holiday I don’t think for 25 years. We’d get up at 6am and we’d go and feed the sheep, then we’d come back and have these sandwiches [he uses his hands to indicate something about the size of an entire standard loaf] — plain white bread, greasy bacon, ketchup, more bacon, bread. I turned into an animal, but it was the best energy source. His lifestyle is non-stop. Of course he can’t have a holiday. Sheep don’t rest.” The physicality of O’Connor’s performance is one thing that gives it authenticity — all from John, he says.

“He was hunched over. There are practical reasons — the rain in Yorkshire even somehow rains up, so you’ve got your hood up, and the sheep are down here.” It helped his casting that O’Connor has huge hands. “They’re like spades.” You don’t see much of them in Les Mis — apparently his “city hands” had such terrible eczema when he started filming the series he could hardly open them, which he puts down to subjecting them to farm work on God’s Own Country, although he concedes that the diet may also have been a factor.

If you think Pontmercy and Saxby are different, his next TV role, as Prince Charles, is an even bigger leap. He’s filming at the moment and says it’s “probably the most enjoyable job I’ve done”, perhaps because, instead of a freezing Yorkshire hillside, the locations are “every nice stately home in England, seemingly. We’ve been in Grantham, Buckinghamshire — we rock up and are, like, ‘Who lives in this house?’ I feel like I’m on Antiques Roadshow a lot of the time.”

It’s odd, he says, playing someone so present in the public consciousness, but for him, finding that performance “starts with the voice, and then they’ve got teams of researchers and professionals who work on dialect and movement. If you watch footage of the young Charles, there’s this thing — when he turns, he doesn’t turn with his body, he turns with his neck first, in a weird sort of Justin Timberlake-esque dance move. I find it helpful to have an animal to imagine, because it gives a certain pace to someone.”

Er, OK, I wonder, fearing treason, what animal is the Prince of Wales? O’Connor laughs. “I like to think of Charles at the moment as a sort of tortoise, because he puts his neck out. It’s not even that he’s particularly slow, it’s more this idea of inquisitive head first.” This time it wasn’t the hands that helped O’Connor get the role, but the ears — they’re not, in fact, particularly large, but they are sort of swivelled forwards, as if anticipating something of great interest.

O’Connor was more or less ambivalent about the royal family before — although his grandmother takes a keen interest, he says — but since taking over the role he has developed a fascination with and, he admits, an affection for Charles.

“Essentially you have someone whose whole life only comes into focus when his mother dies. That keeps hitting me — he only has meaning when his mum dies. Where does that put a young man? And then you’ve got his relationships — you can’t just get married or be with someone, they have to meet a set of [outside] criteria. That is a lot to get your head around. I’m discovering something every day about him and the world he exists in.” He tells me about a scene he has just done with Derek Jacobi, who plays the Duke of Windsor, formerly Edward VIII. “You’re playing that interaction, and you think, ‘Who does Prince Charles have, at that stage, as a guide?’ ”

Of course, there’s always his mother, played in the new cast by Hollywood’s queen of the moment, Olivia Colman. O’Connor is predictably adoring of the star of The Favourite, which he thinks is “the film of the year”.

“She’s everything that’s said about her. She’s a proper actress and a proper person. Turns up on time, does her job professionally — she’s wicked. It’s great that the world is loving her because we should.”

He is equally gushy about his co-star Emerald Fennell, who will play the young Camilla Shand, later Parker Bowles, and whom he describes as “such a laugh” (series three and four take us up to 1976, so we’ll have to wait a while for the appearance of Lady Diana Spencer — her casting has not been revealed).

He seems to take immense joy in things, which he puts down to “a pretty perfect upbringing” in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, as the middle son of three to John, an English teacher, and Emily, a midwife, both now retired. “I’ve got two lovely brothers and I’ve got cracking parents.” He recalls a phrase improbably culled from the American TV crime drama Ozark — “I’m rephrasing it, but if I were to have kids, and they’re half as proud of me as I am of my parents, then I’m sorted. They’re decent and kind and considerate, and as I’m getting older I’m learning that those qualities are the most important things.”

Inspired by his parents, last year he came up with a manifesto for his career: “Turn up on time, be nice and learn your lines. If everyone just did that in the acting world, everything would be just great.” His younger brother, Seb, is an ecological economist and is doing a PhD; the eldest, Barney, is an artist.

O’Connor lives in east London with his girlfriend, whom he politely declines to name, but hopes that they’ll be able to live predominantly outside London in future. “Drama schools say you have to be in London because that’s where the work is and that’s where the auditions are, but more and more the auditions seem to be tapes, for film and television, so maybe we’ll all move up to Yorkshire.” I’m sure Yorkshire would be delighted, I say. “Yeah, who are all these people with scarves? They’re all wearing scarves!”

Soon, although the release date is uncertain, we’ll see him in another film, Hope Gap, in which he plays the son to parents divorcing later in life (Annette Bening and Bill Nighy). It’s a “tiny little film” written and directed by William Nicholson, who is better known for such epics as Gladiator, Tom Hooper’s Les Misérables and Elizabeth: The Golden Age. It won’t surprise you to learn that O’Connor is unfailingly enthusiastic about it and his co-stars. There’s another film, with a much bigger cast, coming up, he says, but it hasn’t been announced, so he can’t tell me what it is, except that it isn’t Star Wars. He is, of course, very apologetic.

As I’m leaving, something occurs to me — is it indeed him shoving his arm inside a cow in an early scene in God’s Own Country? “Yeah!” he says, with startling enthusiasm. “And that was actually really nice. As you know, it’s incredibly cold in Yorkshire, and it’s incredibly warm in there. You go in through the bum, because there’s a thin membrane between the bum and the womb, and you’re checking to see where the head is. And it’s really comforting to the cow. It’s just really pleasurable because you know you’re caring for this animal, but also you’re, like, at least this arm is warm.”

I think we could all learn something from Josh O’Connor’s outlook on life. Les Misérables continues on Sunday at 9pm on BBC One. The third season of The Crown will be on Netflix this year

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/josh-oconnor-every-actor-should-just-turn-up-on-time-be-nice-and-learn-the-lines-r8bqkcpcb

[imaginesonurface]

GALACTICA - P3

Loki

Warning: stupid teenagers making stupid decisions. growing pains.

---------

NEW YORK

“Cassie, I brought you here in this lovely saturday afternoon so you could help me with an important matter: my uniform.”

“What happened with your uniform? Oh my God, Diana’s going to murder you.” Cassie started panicking.

“No. Not that uniform. My super hero uniform.” I said doing my super hero pose.

“Midge, I told you: this is going to end badly. You should talk to your parents.” she rested.

“So I was thinking something lilac and a little blue, maybe sea blue, you know? Here’s what I thought.” I ignored here changing into the outfit quickly. Another one of my super powers: speed.

My outfit was an strapless body sea blue with a lilac belt, with stripes wrapped all over my arms and gladiator high-heeled sandals both lilac too. My hair was in a high ponytail. And, to protect my identity, a mask with galaxy pattern, once I have chosen my super hero name was going to be Galactica. I mean, the only I’m aware of is that I’m from somwhere in the galaxy. 

“This is so not pratical.” said Cassie.

“But it’s sexy”

“Midge. I don’t know how to put it in words but YOU’RE GOING TO DIE IN THIS OUTFIT.”

“Cassandra. You need to relax and remind yourself that I have powers.”

-----------

NARRATOR’S POV

“Sweetheart, I brought you a little something from my trip.” said Diana’s father opening up his bags.

“What is this?” 

“A suit. An exactly copy of Iron Man’s. They’re making lots of these in Japan.”

“Yeah, and what am I going to use that for, dad? Are you stupid?” 

“I thought you’d like to show your friends”

Diana received a text from the cheer text chain saying how much Midge Johnson rocked in last practice. 

“I might have an idea.” she said.

-------------

MIDGE’S POV

Our fighting practices were kinda... savage. Loki didn’t hold anything back, but to be quite honest, he didn’t have to. I was pretty good at this. Kicking and pushing. 

“Where did you learn to fight?” he said when we ended our first fighting practice.

“I didn’t. I just... cheer.” I said.

“Well, you’re pretty good at it.” he smiled.

-------------

“I can’t believe you brought your uniform and your alien to our competition.” said Cassie.

“You never know what might happened.”

“Midge! What can happen in a cheerleading competition? Diana’s going to reveal herself a super villain and attack you?” she said doing ghost fingers.

“Okay, Cassie, enough with the mocking. And Loki’s not ‘my alien’. He’s an asgardian god.”

“Meaning, alien.”

“Ugh, you’re impossible.”

-------------

NARRATOR’S POV

This was Diana’s moment: she put on the suit her father bought her and made her way to the place the team was gathering.

“Midge Johnson? I have a little something to you.” she said raising her arms ready to fire her and finish everything on her way to success.

But once she did it, the other girl jumped amanzigly soft and landed grabbing her backpack, running in an absolutely crazy speed. When she stopped she was wearing her uniform. Her eyes turned white and her fingers started sparkling. She fired a thunder on Diana’s direction damaging her suit. She decided to back up.

--------------

MIDGE’S POV

“What did I say?” I said finishing my milkshake

“Okay, you’ve been attacked but where were your dream boy?”

"He must have been... protecting the civils.”

“Oh my God, Midge...”

“Midge, is everything alright? We have to find out who attacked you.” Loki showed up.

“Relax, everything’s alright. I just wanna go home...” 

“Midge, maybe it’s time for you to have a talk with your parents...” Cassie tried once again.

“Alright, I’mma talk to them. Shall we go?” I said standing up.

On our way home we discussed the competition and how we rocked. She was excitedly talking about my final jump when we reached my doorway and could see the door opened. I quickly changed into my uniform and walked in with Cassie behind me. My parents were trapped in an armchair and the suit that had attacked me was behind them.

“What do you want?” I said.

“Midge, Midge... You gotta learn that you can’t have it all.” they said.

“Let them go.” I said between teeths.

“No, Midge... You keep winning and winning, and winning but now it’s time for you to loose.” before she finished her setence I was sending my sparkles towards her but nothing happened.

“Surprised? I made some improvements.” 

I went for it with all I had and used every little thing Loki had taught me with all of bottled anger. I punched the metal mask and got punched back. My knee was almost on it’s stomach when I was stoped by it’s forearm meanwhile I received another punch, this time on my stomach. I fell but it didn’t stoped they: I got kicked in the stomach again and punched in the arms, my ribs and my face also didn’t escaped the fight. I couldn’t move anymore when Loki took it off of me. He fought against that thing but when I got up stumbling all I could see was him on the floor and Diana with the suit without the mask, laughing as she used her armor’s laser to hit my parents and Cassie.

“NO.” I screamed but it was too late.

I stood up with all the strenght I had and felt an energy take over me and a heat expand inside of me. Everything I saw was her on the floor when I was over. Right after, the fire alarm started ringing. I walked to Loki and helped him standing up, telling him to hide. 

I can’t believe and I’ve seen it all. My parents were dead. Cassie was dead. And Diana was the one to blame. Well, she took everything she could but could I blame her? I did everything she was saying. I put my parents and my best friend in risk. When the firemen arrived I told them the whole history and they arrested her.

The social worker had already contact my aunt and I was moving to her house. I knew it would never be the same again. And I knew I had to practice more. I couldn’t let this happen again. Loki taught me a lot about magic during the following months. I didn’t get closer to anyone besides my aunt. I couldn’t.

Loki helped me after everything. Tried to make me feel less guilty and focus on my practice. He said I could help humanity and he was going to help me. I wish Cassie was here to see it all. Me, saving the world...

Has been a year since I met Loki. He came home a month ago and said he’d be back soon. For some reason I can’t explain, my hair is now darker, like, yellow blonde. And I decided that maybe a skirt over the body would be more comfortable to fight crime.

[tonystarkbingo]

Week 16 Roundup!  We have a LOT of awesome stuff this week, due in part to our monthly Discord party!  Keep reading to see what our participants created!  (A few Endgame spoilers as well, proceed with caution)

Title: Not as Expected Collaborator: Magi_Silverwolf Link: AO3 Square Filled: T1 - Sam Wilson / Falcon Ship: none Rating: Teen Major Tags: major character death, not Team Cap friendly, consequences Summary: For some reason, Sam Wilson didn't expect to be arrested for his crimes. Even if the thought had occurred to him, he expected that the excuse of helping Captain America would be enough to get him out of any trouble. This wasn't what he expected. Word Count: 1205

Title: Late Night at the Stark Residence Collaborator: newnewyorker93 Link: AO3 Square Filled: K3 - dark Ship: Pepperony, Tony & Morgan Rating: Gen Major Tags: Endgame spoilers, fluff, light angst Summary: A snapshot look at one night in the life of the Stark-Potts family during the "Five Years Later" time jump in Endgame, featuring Morgan sneaking out of bed in the middle of the night and lots of soft dad Tony Stark. Word Count: 3500

Title: Can't Stop Us RoboDads -  Chapter 7: I'm Always Gonna Be Here For You Collaborators: rebelmeg, summerpipedream Link: AO3 Square Filled for summerpipedream: A1 - image of JARVIS Ship: MIT Bros Rating: Teen Major Tags: MIT era, bot children, fluff, mild angst Summary: JARVIS is born, Afghanistan happens, and Rhodey reminds Tony of what he needs to hear. Word Count: 1639

Title: Indenture Collaborators: 27dragons, tisfan Link: AO3 Square Filled for tisfan: K5 - Kink: Virgin   Ship: WinterIron Rating: Explicit Major Tags: explicit sexual content, gladiators, master & servant Summary: See the galaxy on a two year work-contract. Well, Tony Stark figures, can’t be worse than home. When he ends up on Sakaar, in the hands of a gladiatorial team, it might be his mechanical skills they’re interested in… or it might be his virginity. Word Count: 14,588

Title: Red Dust Collaborator: HogwartsToAlexandria Link: AO3 Square Filled: S3 - shared trauma Ship: IronStrange Rating: Teen Major Tags: Supreme family, angst, trauma, panic attacks, emotional hurt/comfort, nightmares Summary: Even as he knows the Snap’s been reversed, that his son is safe and sound in his very own bed and his husband is lying right next to him, Tony can’t seem to make himself let go - every night brings him right back to this one day he’ll never be able to forget, none of them will. Word Count: 803

Title: The Most Powerful (Pillowfight) Collaborator: wakandan_wardog Link: AO3 Square Filled: T2 - A Battle / Fight / Confrontation Ship: none Rating: Gen Major Tags: not Endgame compliant, team as family, fluff Summary: In which Carol and Tony (aggressively) support each other and then do battle (with pillows) for their honor. Or each other's honor? It's unclear, things got out of control. (James Rhodes loves these idiots way too much.) Word Count: 1905

Title: Enjoy the Ride Collaborator: mortenavida Link: AO3 Square Filled: A3 - free square Ship: Bruce/Clint/Bucky/Steve/Natasha/Tony/Thor Rating: Teen Major Tags: Soulmate AU, non-traditional A/B/O Summary: Alphas are born with a smudge of "ink" on them that will, as they age, form into their soulmates name. Betas are free of marks. Omegas are born with symbols that represent their Alpha. Much to Howard's displeasure, Tony Stark was born with not one, but six solid symbols across his skin. Tony grew up being told that Howard had tattooed them on his skin so no one could take advantage of it. It takes a weekend to realize how very, very wrong that was. Word Count: 2294

Title: When You Fall Collaborator: AoifeLaufeyson Link: AO3 Square Filled: S1 - KINK: BDSM Ship: Stony Rating: Explicit Major Tags: explicit sexual content, BDSM, bad BDSM etiquette, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending Summary: Steve makes a mistake and he and Tony have a way to go before they recover from it. Characters, relationships, and tags will updated as the story moves along. See end for more spoilery notes. Word Count: 3372

Title: Professional Relationship Collaborator: katling Link: AO3 Square Filled: A4 - Picture from the comics of Tony Stark and Janet Van Dyne kissing Ship: Tony/Janet Rating: Teen Major Tags: not Steve friendly, conglomeration of Marvel universes, Team Tony Summary: Steve catches up on the latest news from the New Avengers and he doesn't like what he sees. Word Count: 1141

Collaborator: Trashcanakin Link: Tumblr Square Filled: K3 - Old Team Ship: none Rating: Gen Major Tags: retired Avengers, moodboard Summary: Years after the Avengers retired, handin’ off their mantles to a newer set of young heroes; our favourite OG6 decide t'take a trip. They’ve all moved on since then, have their own families, own homes, are livin’ a happy retirement. But every year on the same date, they all get together an’ take a trip to a new place! What better way t'see the world they all helped save than travel. Everyone is happy an’ nobody dies! :‘V

Title: But(t)… But(t)… But(t)… Collaborator: katling Link: AO3 Square Filled: T5 - identity porn Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: secret identity, not Team Cap friendly, not Steve friendly Summary: No one knows who Iron Man is, other than the bodyguard of the Avengers' main benefactor, Tony Stark. Bucky figures out the secret but not quite in the way you might think. Word Count: 1984

Collaborator: Trashcanakin Link: Tumblr Square Filled: S3 - royalty Ship: WinterIron Rating: none Major Tags: moodboard Summary: After King Howard an’ Queen Maria’s sudden death, Tony is forced to become King. Obadiah Stane, the Hand of the King tries his best to counsel King Stark an’ keep him safe; yet he seems to have disaster after disaster. After an’ attempt on Tony’s life that was nearly successful, High Knight James Rhodes, the Commander of the Army, sends a letter searchin’ for aide. Knight Bucky is sent to help an’ is placed as the King’s bodyguard. Obadiah continues to try an’ kill the King, but with his new guard, it is harder an’ harder. Decidin’ to get rid of Bucky first, he sets out for his plan. Durin’ the ambush, Bucky discovers that it’s Obie commitin’ treason against the King, but ends up bein’ beaten, losin’ his arm in the process. Thinkin’ Bucky dead, Obie heads back to the kingdom. However, miraculously, Bucky doesn’t die. Rhodey finds him while out on patrol, an’ Obie’s evil schemes are foiled. They apprehend Obie an’ King Stark commands he be killed for his crimes.Bucky survives, an’ Tony builds him an arm. He was always a mechanic, never wanted to be King, but he was also a skilled alchemist. Everyone is amazed. Tony & Bucky live happily ever after. Goodbye 😂

Collaborator: strangemischief Link: Tumblr Square Filled: S2 - Shared Trauma Ship: IronStrange Rating: Gen Major Tags: moodboard, grief/mourning Summary: Supreme Family Infinity War moodboard

Title: Some Like it Hot Collaborator: 27dragons Link: AO3 Square Filled: A5 - KINK: wax play Ship: WinterIron Rating: Mature Major Tags: light BSDM, mild sexual content Summary: Bucky doesn’t like the cold, but that’s okay. Tony likes making things hot for him instead. Word Count: 1483

Collaborator: Trashcanakin Link: Tumblr Square Filled: T4 - De-Aged!Tony Ship: WinterIron Rating: Gen Major Tags: art, de-aged Tony Summary: “Aw, look Buck, he still likes you even when he’s small!”  “Ya better fix this, Steve.” — In which Bucky is angry that his boyfriend got de-aged an’ Steve makes fun’ve ‘im for it like a good bro 😂

Title: Rest Easy Collaborator: ethereal-lullabies Link: Tumblr Square Filled: S2 - Afterlife - Ascension Ship: IronPanther Rating: Teen Major Tags: Character death, Avengers Endgame pictures used Summary: After a long life together filled with a happy marriage and many children, Tony and T’Challa pass away together in their sleep.

Title: The Pursuit of Pleasure Collaborator: buying_the_space_farm Link: AO3 Square Filled: K4 - hedonism Ship: FrostIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: pre-IM1, magic Summary: Tony just wants to know who the stranger that he keeps noticing is. Word Count: 1736

Collaborator: Trashcanakin Link: Tumblr Square Filled: T5 - Arena Ship: WinterIron Rating: Gen Major Tags: moodboard Summary: AU: Bucky goes missin’ durin’ a mission gone wrong, everyone assumes he’s dead, but Steve looks for him for a year until his higher ups make him stop. Devistated that his brother is actually gone, he goes hard into his work, where he meets Tony Stark, a skilled mechanic & inventor, & fellow agent. They don’t get along well, but they work well together. 5 years later, Steve & Tony get paired up for a mission, they end up gettin’ kidnapped by a strange evil orginization. Taken to a remote place in the desert, where an honest to god colleseum is set up, they’re told they hafta fight for their freedom; that they must defeat their champion. This orginization mostly jus’ wanted them dead, but wanted to give agood show to their followers. They had no doubts that their genetically enhanced champion would win. They’ve experimented on him countless times to make him the best, after all. Dressed up in medieval garb an’ handed swords an’ weaponry, they’re shoved through the gates into the ring. They start to fight, but everythin’ changes when they discover that their champion is actually Bucky.

Title: You Need to Put Those Back Collaborator: singingwithoutwords Link: AO3 Square Filled: K3 - AU: angels/demons Ship: IronHusbands Rating: Teen Major Tags: supernatural elements Summary: Tony finds a couple spooky silver chalices in a cabin and, like the dumb white boy he is, decides they're his new favorite wineglasses. It goes about how you'd expect, but not nearly as bad as it could have. Word Count: 1917

Collaborator: Trashcanakin Link: Tumblr Square Filled: A4 - [Picture] Tony in Captain America uniform, from comics. Ship: none Rating: Gen Major Tags: art Summary: Cap!Tony art

Title: Now and Later Collaborator: MadStarker Square: K1 - Kink - Rushed Sex Rating: Explicit Pairing: Tony Stark / Peter Parker Warnings: First Time, Love Confessions, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Porn with Feelings, Anal Sex, Armor Kink, Blow Jobs, Multiple Orgasms, Dirty Talk, Barebacking Summary: Tony's so relieved to have Peter back that he just takes him right there on the battlefield behind a pile of junk Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18917116

Title: the dreamland, amber and gold Collaborator: deathsweetqueen Link: AO3 Square Filled: T3 -  tony in workshop Ship: ThunderIron Rating: Mature Major Tags: sexual content, Asgardian Tony, Thor AU Summary: “Anthony?” Anthony looks up from the sword he was cleaning painstakingly. “What?” he demands. Thor stands in the doorway to his forge, hip cocked outwards, cape red as blood glinting in the low light, as his large arms fold across his chest, running a thumb over his lower lip. His eyes pass over Anthony’s bare chest, dark beneath his pale eyelashes. Anthony bites back a sigh; he gives the sword a mournful look – it is very unlikely that he will be able to return to his work that night. “I have missed you, my love.” Word Count: 9524

Title: The Great Body Shop Collaborator: JacarandaBanyan Link: AO3 Square Filled: T2 - Worst case scenario Ship: Tony & JARVIS, WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: Tony angst, JARVIS gets a body Summary: Tony asks Jarvis what he wants for his birthday, and for once Jarvis asks something of Tony that Tony isn't sure he should give. Word Count: 2025

Title: You're Making the Typical Me Break My Typical Rules - Chapter One Collaborator: martianwahtney Link: AO3 Square Filled: R1 - Bucky Barnes / Winter Soldier Ship: WinterIronHawk Rating: Gen Major Tags: Fem!Tony, Clint is an asshole, soulmates, no powers AU Summary: Toni Stark knew she and James Barnes were soulmates the moment she saw him. The electric blue lines of the arc reactor seemed to glow against his skin, just like hers did. But she kept her mouth shut and she made him a new arm and even engraved his old soulmarks onto his new metal arm.  James Barnes knew he and Toni were soulmates nearly a year after they met. She’d been neck deep in one of her car engines and it was impossible to miss the red star on her arm- his star on her arm.  Clint Barton knew he, Toni Stark, and James Barnes were soulmates the second Toni had flipped over her arm to show him a purple arrow that stretched from the crease of her elbow to the palm of her hand. The same arrow he had been born with.  Alternatively, where Toni tries until she doesn’t, where James keeps his distance until he doesn’t, and Clint won’t let himself fall until he does. Word Count: 5997

[aion-rsa]

Nobody is an Action Movie That Questions ‘Toxic Masculinity’

https://ift.tt/39f1Es8

Hutch Mansell (Bob Odenkirk) is (as his film title suggests) a Nobody. He’s a schlub who gets up for the same soul-deadening routine each day: he drinking his coffee, forgets to take the garbage out, and sits at his boring desk job. He then comes home to kids who barely tolerate him and a wife who literally makes a barrier of pillows between them in their bed. When he fails to protect their house against a home invasion–even though he clearly could have–the sense of disappointment from his family is palpable.

But the incident awakens something long dormant in Hutch: a set of skills and a primal anger that served him well in a former life and career defined by violence. Hutch has to give that repressed rage an outlet, which unfortunately brings him into the sights of a deadly Russian crime boss, even as it reawakens his soul and reconnects him with his wife and family.

Directed by Ilya Naishuller (who helmed the equally explosive Hardcore Henry in 2015), Nobody also stars Christopher Lloyd, RZA, and Connie Nielsen as Hutch’s wife Becca, a successful career woman on her own terms, and who probably no longer needs her seemingly insubstantial husband all that much. Yet what Becca does or doesn’t know about Hutch’s past is one of the more intriguing questions that this action-packed film raises.

The Danish-born Nielsen’s first major English-language role was in 1997’s The Devil’s Advocate, and since then she’s appeared in films like Rushmore, Gladiator, One Hour Photo, The Ice Harvest and many more. A new audience embraced her more recently thanks to the role of Queen Hippolyta, the mother of Diana of Themyscira in Wonder Woman, Justice League, Wonder Woman 1984, and the just-released Zack Snyder’s Justice League, which sees her role beefed up considerably from the 2017 theatrical version.

Meanwhile, she and the great Odenkirk play off each other exceedingly well in Nobody, a fact that came up during our Zoom chat with the actress.

Den of Geek: Right at the beginning of this film, there’s a home invasion and Bob’s character, Hutch, doesn’t do anything to protect his family. Did that feel very relatable, this idea that your spouse may not have your back in a situation like that?

Connie Nielsen: I loved that scene. I loved how in the aftermath of that scene you had the neighbor literally representing toxic masculinity: “Oh if it was me, I would have taken him out.” And then you have the kid, our child, our teenage boy, so impressionable, and totally buying into this idea of masculinity: “Yeah. We could have taken him, Dad. We could have taken him.” And it’s just like that’s exactly what we’re trying to say to everybody. Stop putting that stuff on men to be that guy, stop saying that a guy has to be all of these different things because it’s not healthy.

What you then have is basically–you start a film about action movies and about action, and about those tropes within an action movie, but then it actually starts questioning what the idea of masculinity behind all of that is. I just loved the irony of that and that importance of that too, because it does make it so relatable.

How does the relationship between Hutch and Becca play into that?

One of the things I said from the beginning was, “Let’s not make Hutch feel intimidated by his wife. Let’s instead underline the fact that he’s the one who’s depressed. He is not threatened by her success. It’s that he feels like he is nobody. He feels that he has no importance. Everybody’s going to be fine if he just freaking wasn’t there, she would be able to continue taking care of the kids and the money and everything else.” It’s this feeling that he has, that he doesn’t matter, and that he’s not important.

And that is such a brilliant way of framing the midlife crisis of this guy, and also the crisis of the relationship where the power balance is out of whack and they can’t reach each other, they can’t figure out how to be a team until they’re forced to become a team.

It’s also rare in the action genre that the relationship is also age appropriate. There’s not this 25-year gap between the husband and wife.

That has always been a pet peeve of mine, even when I was a kid in this business. When I’m watching a movie and I’m seeing a girl who’s 24 playing the mother of four kids. I’m like, “What?” It’s just so dumb. There are so many women out there who get really offended as they watch these kinds of movies. So it’s just also dumb of producers and directors to cast without being age appropriate, because women get mad, they get irritated.

What other little details do you think you contributed or discussed with the director in terms of just making these characters more vivid on the set?

First of all, one of the things that was most important was when we were talking about my character’s success, that it was believable within the context, and that we didn’t make it a takedown of successful women–if it was problematic, it was not her problem, but his problem. I think that also we really talked about making her behavior understandable. There’s a second home invasion where it becomes pretty hard for her to not pose questions, so how do we play that? For me, the most important thing was to come up with a balanced behavior that also posed questions in hindsight as to, well, who is she really, what’s her background story, how is she dealing with all this, and is there something else there?

It’s a little ambiguous how much she knows about Hutch’s past. She’s never overly shocked by anything that Hutch does when the full scope of his character comes out. And that goes back to the idea that you sometimes really don’t know the person you’re married to.

That also goes for the moviegoers, they may not really know who the character of Becca is either. That’s part of what we also had a lot of fun talking about on set–what are the things that you don’t know about her?

What kind of set did Ilya run? Was there an openness for ideas and improvisational type of things?

I think so. I think especially when we were doing scenes that were about the emotional relationship, it was just really about making it come alive and truthful, that it was profound and that was meaningful emotionally, that we didn’t make it a small moment, but a big moment.

Read more

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This is the first time you ever worked with Bob.

Yeah. It is, and we never met before.

What is that like when you have to meet and immediately create a relationship between these two characters?

It’s odd, it’s so bizarre and strange. The first day on set when we were doing hair and makeup tests and so on, I was taken to this hangar and there’s box of sand on the floor with a green backdrop and a photographer in front of it. And it’s, “Oh, we’re about to do your family pictures,” and then, “Oh, and this is Bob.” Then you basically sit down and you just immediately move into pictures of our honeymoon and all of these different vacations that we’ve had back in the days when we were happy. I basically just met this man. It’s awkward, but that’s also acting, right? You’re just bringing your own experience and leaning into it as if you know this person.

Did you see the director’s previous film, Hardcore Henry?

I did not see Hardcore Henry, but it was very clear from the beginning that Ilya has this particularly cool way of marrying both music and action and image. So I just felt very comfortable that our producers believed that he was going to bring that same thing to Nobody.

When you look at the way action is done in movies today, on one hand you have the stylized stuff that we see in this movie, and then there’s the way Patty Jenkins shoots the Wonder Woman films, which has this majestic painterly quality. Does this seem like an interesting time for the genre?

I think so. I think that it has just changed so vastly from back in the day with films like Rambo. I think that a lot of these movies used to have a very jingoistic quality to them, and that instead, action has mutated. I think maybe that Taiwan, Korea, Japan, and China brought progress to the genre and really updated it and brought in fantasy elements that were really exciting. Superhero movies have definitely updated those concepts as well. So I do think that action movies continue to evolve. The John Wick trilogy is just such a great example of something that just evolved into this whole world, this John Wick world, which was so cool.

What are your thoughts on Zack Snyder’s Justice League arriving? Did you do any additional shooting for it?

I did my work with Zack on set. I did not have to go back for any reshoots. When Zack was going to start the project back up, he had the courtesy and the kindness to call everybody and ask if we were willing to support him in this. I think every single person immediately just said, “Of course.” I know that we’re all super excited that he’s bringing this vision forward to everybody. And I know that he does not consider this as another Justice League, he considers this a standalone movie in its own right.

Are you signed for Wonder Woman 3?

I know that there’s a storyline that involves the Amazons, that’s really all I can say.

Nobody arrives in theaters on Friday, March 26.

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The post Nobody is an Action Movie That Questions ‘Toxic Masculinity’ appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[nicknederson]

For the Sake of Content: Sara Reads the Hardy Boys Adventures Series Because She Has a Lot of Credit on Google Play and Not a Lot Going On, Admittedly

Hardy Boys Adventure #2: The Mystery of the Phantom Heist

(or) Some Girl Just Has the Worst Party Ever and It's Not Like the Hardy Brothers Help

The SWS! (Summary without Spoilers)

Brothers Frank and Joe are trying out for the role of Roman gladiators with their friend Chet and, no, it's not for any sort of production of Caesar. Instead, the boys are applying for a position as waiters at the Sweet Sixteen of local rich girl Lindsay Peyton. When Chet is rejected, Frank and Joe quickly give up that venture (and subsequently forget about the whole thing) only to stumble across a group of violent pranksters called the Scaredevils plaguing the city of Bayport. Is this just the latest viral video campaign or something far more sinister? Frank and Joe will find out... eventually.

The Review! (spoilers below the cut)

I think I should start out by saying that yes, I am not the biggest fan of the Hardy Boys. For a while now, I've seen their adventures as the try-hard, pseudo-masculine version of Nancy Drew (which is not an incorrect statement) and I just really can't wrap my head around why their aunt lives with them among other things. I hated how the first book in the new series went and I sort of hated this second installation, too. Why? Well, to put it simply- these brothers are dumb.

Is it their fault? Probably not, they're just fictional characters. Is it the author's fault? Definitely- what the hell were they thinking? For starters, you have the boys going to interview for the job of waiters at Lindsay Peyton's party. They make these really gross, derogatory comments about Lindsay while looking at her portrait and then, later, when they actually meet her, they continue making gross comments about her. It's part of this trend I've seen in the two books where the boys view girls in three ways: the hot undesirable (because of personality or some sort of flaw in her very one-dimensional character), the hot desirable (usually a nerdy girl with brown hair like Janine Kornbluth or, in this book, Sierra), and the sister. The sister is just that- the sister of one of their male classmates or friends. In the last book, we had Sharelle and in this book we had Iola. These girls tend to be more fleshed out, but only in the sense that they do traditionally 'tougher' things like saving the boys (Sharelle) or fending off attacks against them (like Iola does in this book). Now these are just the girls the boys interact with that are their own age- the others are all older women like their mother or Aunt Trudy who don't really do anything except fill in some necessary exposition or feed them. Which is another weird thing- Aunt Trudy is their housekeeper? Does their aunt live with them because their mom just doesn't like doing household things that their stay-at-home dad never seems to do? I didn't read enough of the older books to understand this.

But other than the very one-dimensional female characters the boys interact with, there are also plenty of male characters that don't get enough personality- including the boys themselves. The chapters switch between Frank and Joe's perspective and it's a quirk that almost does nothing for the book because- quite frankly- I cannot tell them apart either way. Joe is supposed to be the kooky, funny brother, but Frank always seems to make the same wry jokes. Frank is supposed to be sensible, but he's not exactly making any decisions Joe isn't making. It's really just a useless ploy the Adventures books use and a pain in the ass for readers who have to occasionally flip back to the beginning to check to see what boy they're supposed to be reading from the perspective of. All that said, these are just problems with the general format of the series and not even the problems with this book- Mystery of the Phantom Heist- in particular. Because this book has some problems. A lot of them.

As I said earlier, the boys seem impossibly dumb. And I'm not just saying this as a general statement, but in the very first few chapters, we have them leaving the Peytons' house only to discover that Lindsay's car has been keyed with the rude phrase 'Rich Witch'. Now, for some reason, the boys relate this to a prank video they had been watching some minutes earlier where a boy chucks a slushie at an unsuspecting drive-through attendant. Why? I have no idea why, but they do turn out to be related so I guess that was the book's way of telling us that right from the get-go. Keep in mind, these same types of jumped-to conclusions disappear in the latter half of the book when they would rightfully make sense. But more on that later- for now, we're still talking about the keyed car.

After leaving the Peytons' house, the boys see this keyed car in their driveway and don't do anything about it. No, in fact, Joe touches the vandalized car- several times- and the boys make comments about how it's too bad for Lindsay while implying that it's what she gets for being a bitch. They do not- in any way- put together two and two and realize that they'd just walked out on the Peytons' house after being 'rejected' from the position as waiters and that this vandalism could easily be seen as something they did to get back at the family. They don't seem to realize that at all. So they go with their friend to some generic burger place to get some generic burgers- all while commenting on how gross Lindsay is and how cute Frank found Sierra- only to get into a disagreement with some boys from Bay Academy.

Now, this is another thing that I have a problem with when it comes to the Adventures series and their attempt at world-building. It is very one-dimensional and it doesn't try to be inventive in the way it takes this small town and tries to make it something new. Instead of creative, new takes on things, we have the age old rivalry of public school vs. private school in Bayport High School and Bay Academy. The Bay Academy boys are brutish, entitled, and drive around in Mercedes Benz with vanity plates that say 'Awesome Dude' while harassing bus boys at the local burger place. Frank and Joe- mimicking this psuedo-masculine sensibility that comes from older books- decide to stand up to them for this great unjustice, but keep in mind, these are the same boys who saw someone's car vandalized and decided to just walk away without even informing the owner because they just plain didn't like them. This entire scene goes down in such a robotic, bizarre way up until the police arrive. As another testament to how dumb the brothers seem to be this entire book, they assume the police are there to arrest the trouble-making Bay Academy boys.

Which... ?????

No, actually, the police are here to arrest them because they were the idiots who had a disagreement with the Peytons' and then did nothing when they saw their car vandalized in the driveway and just carried on their merry way. "Oh, but we didn't do it!" Yeah, but it clearly looks like you did, genius. This could have been easily avoided if you'd paid attention for five whole seconds and realized you couldn't just leave after seeing Lindsay's car vandalized. But whatever! This is just a children's book, right? So whatever.

The boys get dragged into the police station and you'd think it would be no big deal because they're chummy with the police, but oh no- big plot twist, the one officer on the entire force who doesn't like them is chief now. Hm, wow, hate it when that happens. This will become a recurring problem throughout the book when Chief Olaf- who is just so poorly characterized you cannot tell if he's evil or just stupid or maybe both- constantly acts as a roadblock for the boys' progress on the case. If you could call it a case. Which I wouldn't. Because they don't seem to really know what's going on until about chapter... thirteen.

After making it clear that the boys are suspected of being the vandals, the book switches gears to just sort of divulging into a mess of Joe frequently checking YouTube videos posted by the vandals and the boys always being a second too late to stopping them. I would admit that was a cynical view of what happens, but it's actually not too far from the truth. It's only about half-way through the book that the boys do any sort of detective work and even then, it's incredibly simple. Frank recognizes someone in one of the Scaredevil videos, but can't figure out who it is. But, oh, Tony Riley from school is here and wow, he's got a really obvious scratch on his face and he's carrying around a jacket with a bandanna hanging out of his pocket JUST LIKE IN THE VIDEO.

Is it really detective work if you just spot something hanging out of someone's pocket? I don't think so- no.

Especially when the person makes it very obvious that they now have money when they shouldn't and leave their phone on the table while going to check on their car supposedly being keyed only for Joe to just go through their texts and find the ringleader. Who is it? Surprise, the only person who it could possibly be since he's been a violent and very obnoxious character from his introduction. This would be Bay Academy's Colin Sylvester. Colin Sylvester is apparently not Bayport's sweetheart but naturally, the boys can't go to the police with their suspicions because the police outright say that they won't investigate him since his parents donate to the police station. While this very apparent corruption of the legal system in Bayport feels like a problem they should look into, the boys ignore it in favor of doing some other inane things around town trying to figure out how to pin Colin with the crime.

When their garage gets burned down, the boys get video evidence of the arson with Colin's voice on the recording saying 'this will keep the police busy', but since seeing the chief is apparently inconvenient, they just skip over that bit for a few chapters until it becomes relevant again. Now, this is also one of those books where it very obviously plots the clues out in verbal cues throughout the boys' activities- we have exhibit A, exhibit B, and exhibit C all happening in succession, but of course Frank and Joe don't pay it any mind since it doesn't mean much of anything to them until much later when they finally string everything together. I understand that's a tactic used in these kinds of mysteries, but it's also so painful for the reader to have to sit through clue after clue falling into the boys' laps while they just idle around waiting for the big reveal to happen. We have everything written out for us- the least the author could do is let our protagonists agonize over it a little bit longer. The Hardy Brothers don't seem to want to spare the time to do that when they could be, say, going on dates with pretty girls.

This brings up the issue of Sierra- the party planner of Lindsay's Sweet Sixteen and Frank's crush. Sierra- from chapter one- is clearly pegged as a potential culprit, but the boys don't seem to realize this until they physically see her with Colin later in the book. It takes them an impossibly long time to realize Sierra is up to no good even when her erratic actions- like asking them out on a boat that subsequently breaks, lying about what she was doing for the five whole minutes they were on the boat, and becoming defensive when they catch her in the lie- are a clear indicator that she's up to something. Even when Joe is the first one to realize she might not be up to par, Frank is so adamant in his misplaced trust of her that he refuses to listen to his brother. So we have a clear culprit who is only ignored because Frank thinks she's pretty. I'm dead serious. These boys also don't seem to realize that going onto a boat that isn't rightfully theirs without Sierra is a clear set-up to get them into further trouble with the Peytons. And when the throttle breaks, it takes them a second to realize another way to stop the boat is to turn it off.

Frank's obliviousness concerning Sierra is also another reason the boys decide not to trail her and Colin when they see them leave the movie theater after they spent an entire night trying to stake out Colin to see what he was up to. Frank is just too sad after seeing them making-out to continue their detective work and can't believe she would do this to him. Is it really that hard to believe, Frank? No, because it's very obvious.

Other parts of the book feel as equally pointless or misplaced- the strangely high-tech device one of their dad's former co-workers give them that echos with the ridiculous tech they used in the over-wrought Undercover Brothers series, how easily the boys give up when questioning involved persons or how slow they are to piece things together, the fact that the boys still refer to girlfriends as someone's 'girl' despite it being the early 2000s, and even the very ending of the book. The mystery itself is very clever and somewhat interesting, but the execution is lazy at best- made especially apparent in the last chapter. The Scaredevils- the gang acting as the mysterious culprit- is a group of people that, as the boys learn, are being paid off by Colin Sylvester to commit various acts of vandalism and destruction around Bayport. They start fights, they graffiti things, and they leave their mark on plenty of objects all while uploading videos of their barely concealed faces to YouTube to document their reign of terror. There's also a little bit where Frank and Joe seem surprised that girls could be involved in this scheme that just made me roll my eyes. But the scheme itself is hinted at being part of a larger plot to keep the police around Bayport busy so that none can act as guards at Lindsay Peyton's Sweet Sixteen- the biggest event in Bayport this year. Sounds interesting, right?

Well, it is- until you learn that this entire scheme is just Colin getting revenge against Lindsay for never going on a date with him and not letting him be friends with her. As to why Sierra is a part of this, there's no given reason besides that she happens to be dating Colin at the time. Seriously, no reason given. And while there could have easily been a way to spin Colin's discontent at being rejected, the very ending trips over itself on its way to the point when it seems to remember it's called 'The Mystery of the Phantom Heist'. Huge spoiler alert, guys: there is no Phantom Heist.

Colin and his friends easily infiltrate the party at the end and- after using a very obvious scheme to get the guards outside- proceed to pull guns on the guests and demand their valuables. Seems pretty scary, right? Well, it probably would have been if there had been any thought to it. The guns are fake, the guards get back in easily because no one bothered to bar the doors, and the police show up in seconds after the boys go through the erroneous steps of disarming Colin and his buddies because they didn't even take the guests' phones away so it was incredibly easy to call 911. Colin, Sierra, and his friends are all arrested and Lindsay declares the party back on and the relationship between Bay Academy and Bayport High School is superficially mended. Another joke is added to this when the boys express disbelief that they fought armed Roman gladiators at the party of the year and Chet chimes in with a joke about having recorded the whole thing. End book.

Now, this isn't just lazy writing, but a problem that I have with the entire Hardy Boys franchise. In that, it feels the need to step itself up to the point where it reaches unobtainable standards that it can never deliver on. For years, the boys have tried to reflect the 'masculine' side of detective work that their counterpart Nancy Drew apparently can't cover herself. There are gun fights, dramatic heists, and danger galore while the boys fight assassins and deadly ninjas and other some such exaggerated threats. This was all well and good back in the 1920s to 60s when the most dangerous thing Nancy dealt with in her stories was a fall from one foot too high, but in the modern era, we're seeing this attempted divide between the Drew Crew and the Hardy Boys being exaggerated to the point of ridiculousness. The predecessor to the Adventures series- the Undercover Brothers- borderlined on absolutely unrealistic with the way it had the boys hangliding over Ireland to escape armed gunmen while using a pizza box as a high-tech communication device. It was like James Bond for babies, but the lacksadaisal tone it set made it so high-fantasy it was impossible to relate to on so many levels. Seeing as these are books primarily aimed at a younger audience, it's disappointing to see that this standard of 'snails and puppy dog tails' vs 'sugar, spice, everything nice' is still being stuck to in these newer books. The Hardy Brothers shouldn't be this dumb, they shouldn't be this off-puttingly trusting, they shouldn't need fancy technology that doesn't even exist to make up for where their lack of intelligence and wit causes them problems, and I- as a reader- shouldn't have to see none all of these traits in Nancy, but all of them in her 'boy version'. One of the things that bothered me the most about Frank's complete trust in Sierra is that I knew that Nancy would never do that. She would see Sierra as a suspect from the beginning- male or female- and she wouldn't make the same erroneous mistakes that the boys do. It's almost like Nancy- as someone raised as a girl- knows not to trust people easily, treats undeserving people kindly, and always has to evaluate a situation for danger before she enters it. Weird, right?

Either the publisher needs to stop treating Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys as too wildly opposite sides of the spectrum or they need to get better ghostwriters on the HBAs. Because while I'm going to read the next book- The Vanishing Game- because I have the Google Play credit, I am not... going to enjoy it.

[grandthorkiday]

Mob AU! “Playthings” Part 18

[Link to mob!au anon’s “Playthings" fic tag]

[Start at Part 1]*

(*Note: Link is editable for other parts, just change the number. For mobile users, tag is “playthings part1”)

“I’m here once again in the penthouse suites of the Gladiator Hotel with En Dwi Gast, as well as Thor and Loki Valhalla. I suppose I’ll begin with you Loki. How do you feel?”

“Better than I was a week ago, thank you. A little silly. It all seems very…stupid now that I look back on it. Just all very stupid.”

“Can you take us through what led to you being nearly forced to testify against your boyfriend?”

“It’s all right, sweetheart. Don’t be shy.”

“I uhm…I am a recovering addict and my road to recovery has been rocky to say the least. Especially with my depression. And I had a few friends who never supported my transition to being sober. So a few months ago they came to visit and wanted to get high. I said no. I’m clean now, and I have the best two boyfriends anyone could ask for who want me clean. They didn’t like that because I was the one who would buy so they beat me. I ended up in the hospital. They panted some drugs on me, I guess for revenge and well, the police arrested me.”

“The police and DA claim you weren’t arrested.”

“That’s not what they told me. They arrested me and then claimed I was danger to myself and locked me in mental facility.”

“They say you consented to go.”

“I consented under pressure. I stayed because I thought they were helping. I do have depression and they promised to keep me clean. They promised….it wasn’t until my Father and the State got involved that I realized it was a lie-”

Val turned off the television. She couldn’t watch Gast having Loki lean into him, his arm drapped around the younger man as he spoke. She couldn’t watch as he rubbed his knee tenderly and kissed his forehead occasionally. It made her physically ill and she had to get ready for her ‘workout’.

[read more cut]

Thor hadn’t appeared on Saturday to the gym and Monday he had came and went without speaking to them. Well, barely speaking to them. He had given them a heads up about this interview and a few interdepartmental moles. A few uniform officers in Major Crimes were already placed subtly under surveillance and put on ‘light’ duty to keep them from learning about what was happening thanks to that information.

But the Sakaar mob was not the only thing they had to worry about.

“Again, I really think you two should leave before you fuck us over again,” Bruce said crossing his arms and leaning back in one of the chairs in the private room.

“My client has a right to be here. This is his son,” the lawyer said calmly, not even blinking at the eyes that rolled at the comment.

“So was Loki,” Natasha pointed out.

Odin glared from his position in one of the recliners. “And you saw how he acted in that interview.”

“I don’t know how many times we have to explain that is a lie,” Bruce growled.

“You can stay, but hinder this at all or don’t abide by the rules, you’re out of here and being charged with obstruction,” Tony warned.

The lawyer looked as though he was going to object when the door opened and once again Thor slid into the room. He had a large salad and a to go cup filled with some type of smoothie. Again he had showered before he had come to see them, and the room was filled with the smell of shower gel and deodorant.

“Sorry about Monday. Had promised I’d do something for…well it doesn’t matter. Catch the interview? They’re still playing it and we got another one lined up. Almost wasn’t allowed out!” He laughed as he sat down, throwing down his backpack he had slung over his shoulder down. “Calorie counting, again.” He explained as he waved a hand toward the smoothie.

Val caught sight of Odin. He looked at the young man in shock, his hand wanting to reach out for his son. He was tearing up. In spite of the anger she felt towards him, she couldn’t help but feel sympathy for him in this moment.

“Now, before we begin, I must warn you that we can’t really use much of what Loki already provided us in any trial that goes forward after this,” Tony began, pulling out a large notepad and several pens. While they were indeed still taping the interview, they felt that not telling Thor would be beneficial, allowing for a more honest testimony.

“Double jeopardy,” Thor nodded as he grazed. “Yeah. He crowed about that for a bit once Max got in touch with him.”

“Max?”

“Security guard dude. Guy who slipped Loki the new phone that got him in touch with Grandmaster.” He pointed at the pad of paper, “Should write that down.”

As Tony did, Natasha asked, “We’ll come back to that but I think we should confirm somethings. So we’re all on the same page.”

He shrugged, still eating his salad contentedly, looking vaguely past the female ADA at point on the wall.

“Okay, again just so we’re clear, you and your brother were kidnapped by Gast in 2009 from a bar near NYU?”

“The Independent, or something like that, but yeah.”

“And you were kept a few months in the basement of one of his penthouses?”

Thor nodded nonchalantly. “Don’t remember which one. One of the crappier ones, but that doesn’t much help, does it?”

“No it doesn’t but that doesn’t mean you are not helping. You are being extremely helpful.”

“I wish to ask a question,” the new lawyer said, leaning forward. Thor seemed only mildly surprised at this new person, but Val had a feeling he simply didn’t remember how many people had been there originally. “What part did Loki play in your kidnapping?”

“Loki?” The blonde frowned. “He was kidnapped with me. His part was victim number two. What the hell kind of question was that?!” He was getting agitated, throwing down his fork in frustration.

Before Tony could intercede, the lawyer foolishly said, “Many sources say that Loki helped assist in your capture and-”

The table was banged as Thor brought both fists down on it. He looked the lawyer directly in the eye as he spoke, causing the man to shrink in on himself. It was the first time outside of looking at Gast or Loki that he had looked at anything or anyone directly. “Did those fuckwit PIs my Dad send around tell you that? Those assholes were paid off ten minutes after they were hired. I was in the room when it happened. Loki was in the room! We had to…” He looked away again, and began to shrink once more. He looked so lost and small. His eyes again became unfocused and vacant. “Those PIs were useless.”

There was a tension in the room as the young man breathed heavily for a moment before picking up his fork and viciously stabbing a piece of lettuce.

“Okay, that was very helpful,” Val soothed, sending the lawyer a smug smile.

The lawyer was not done however. “And the relationship between you and Loki? When and how did that begin?”

“2010. Grandmaster gave us an option. Fuck or go back to the basement. The basement was awful. Loki got this had cough when we were down there. In the winter he still gets pretty sick. I think he has an infection or something. He got this fever once where he couldn’t see. I thought he was permanently blind.”

“May I ask why it started?” Bruce asked gently.

“He had access to our internet history. Had a few IT guys on the payroll, learned that later. Saw….,” his hand was shaking as tried to eat. It was obvious he wasn’t tasting anything in his mouth. “Saw the fact that I…had a…I guess you could call it a crush but it was more than that it was-”

“Stop!” Odin stood up and was walking over to Thor, tears on his cheek. “You don’t have to lie for him!! It’s alright, son! It’s alright!”

Whatever one expected of a son and father reuniting after ten years, this was not that. Thor looked shocked at Odin. Fearful even. He was out of his chair and backing up, looking like he was going to flee. His movements were uncoordinated, and his eyes whirled around in terror. Bruce and Val stood and tried to step between them, but Odin shoved them aside trying to embrace Thor who again kept moving away.

“Son! It’s alright! You’re free! You can come home! My boy! My baby boy!” The father’s voice shook as he motioned to the younger man to join him in his embrace.

“What are you doing here? Is this a trick? I said I’m not going to any safehouse-”

“He came on his own accord.” Tony said quickly. “He’s not with us!”

“You can come home with me! Your room is just how you left it.” Odin had finally closed the gap between them, hugging Thor closer than he had ever hugged Loki. Thor was stiff in his arms, eyes lookng vacantly through Bruce and Val.

“I am going back to Loki.” His voice was quiet but firm.

“You don’t have to go back! Not to that monster or his whore ever again.”

The word whore seemed to make Thor come alive. He grabbed Odin and practically threw him into a wall, his fist raised to strike. If took both detectives holding is other arm not to get him to swing.

“You did it didn’t you?! You really did call him a whore!?! I thought it was something he made up to please Grandmaster, but no, you really did it! You called him…FUCK YOU! He used to dream about coming home to you and mom! He used to talk about it all the time! And when he got back this time, how he just cried. You called him a whore?! Why?! Why?!”

“Thor!”

“S-son! My bo-”

“I’m not YOUR boy! Not anymore.” He dropped Odin, still pinning him with proximity and a glare to the wall. “Do you how many opportunities we had to give him information about your business dealings? Do you know how much we could have gained?”

“You would nev-”

“In a heartbeat I would. In a fucking heartbeat. Hey ADA, you wanna know something? About Max? The security guard my…Father hired?”

“S-sure,” Tony said nervously.

“He tried to get Loki to leave. Just walk out the door and leave. Loki said no. Even when he got the phone and could text Grandmaster, he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay. But he kept saying he missed him. He missed being held. He missed being told he was good. That’s why he did it, y'know? Tried to kill himself. Because the Grandmaster stopped texting back. I wasn’t allowed on the phone but I would hear it go off. I begged to be able talk to him. But he was bad.”

Thor ran his fingers through his hair and turned away from the wall and his Father and began to pace. His words were quick and crazed as he spoke. “He was bad. He should have just come home. I should have been there. I shouldn’t have been bad in the first place. That’s how this all started! I was bad. I was bad. I was-”

“Thor!” Val grabbed his hand and pulled it way from his head. Calmly, she asked, “What do you mean, this is how it all started?”

“I’m the reason we were separated. And why he was in the hospital. The first time. I saw Heimdall, my old roommate, at a bookshop and got invited for coffee. I used to have a massive crush on him, and I guess it wasn’t one-sided. I begged Grandmaster to let me go on the coffee date. He agreed, but I had to be back by 10. And no touching.” He giggled, a strange weird giggle. “I was just so happy to see him! And he is a PhD candidate now! I stayed until 10:45 and I may have let him kiss me. It was just a friendly one. But Grandmaster gets so jealous. He asked how I felt about hurting him and Loki. Especially Loki. And when I didn’t say anything, he slapped Loki so hard he fell off the couch!”

“He put Loki in the hospital….because he was jealous?”

“Yeah. But it’s okay. It was my fault. I just forgot. I forgot how jealous he gets. He once had my shoulder dislocated because Loki kept talking to this one guy. Don’t even think he liked him, just took to long getting back to our table. He cried when he was told he had to put it back in place. Loki isn’t as strong as me, so it took several tries. And we had to be quiet because there was a meeting.”

Thor slumped forward, swaying slightly. He looked like he was wrung out wash cloth of emotions. They were going to get nothing else from today.

“Y-you wanna pick this up on Saturday?” Bruce asked, patting his shoulder.

“Yeah. I should get going. He wants to watch some old sci-fi movie. I dunno. Maybe we can convince him to watch a comedy.”

It was strange to think of a monster in such human terms. But it was stranger to watch Thor gather his things up and willingly leave to go back to the monster, even turning around and smiling at them as he did so. “See ya, Saturday!”