#it’s October so who wants to drive with a missing window?

[oliversrarebooks]

The Rare Bookseller Part 73: Emily's Safehouse

Previous > Masterlist

tw: mind control, conditioning, memories of abuse

October 1925

Emily woke up in bed -- a real bed for human beings, not a fuzzy little pet bed on the floor -- a sensation both frightening and strangely familiar. She wasn't allowed on the bed, unless her lady --

Her lady.

Her lady was dead.

The events of the previous night came rushing back to her as she lay there in bed, staring up at the ceiling. One moment she'd been in the carriage, drunk and stupefied from her lady's aura, and in the next moment, Lady Jessica was dead and gone. She'd been pulled from the carriage and into a janky old car by a vampire hunter, leaving behind everything she'd known for a promise of freedom, or at least a promise of a hot meal and a place to stay.

Unease gnawed in her gut. Promises of help always came with strings attached. She wasn't sure how she knew that, but she felt it deep inside. She'd have to pay for this charity somehow.

Emily tried to remember. Who had she been and what had she been doing before she had served a vampire? She knew somehow that she hadn't been serving a vampire for very long, so there must have been something that came before, but she couldn't remember any of it, a swirl of colors and scents and pains where the rest of her mind should be. Perhaps serving a vampire was the only thing she was truly good for, the thing she was meant to do.

She sat up in bed, trying in vain to drive the fuzziness from her mind. She didn't want it to be true, because if it were, then the hunter had just taken away the only thing that gave her life meaning.

There was a faint smell of eggs and toast in the air, and Emily's stomach growled, reminding her that there was no existential crisis that was worth missing out on food. She pulled herself out of bed, wearing the thick flannel nightgown that had been handed to her the night before, and pushed open the creaky wooden door.

The vampire hunter's home was an old farmhouse on the outskirts of the city, one with uneven floors and chipped paint and drafts in every window. It was nothing like the luxurious modern townhouse her lady had occupied, with every modern convenience including electricity. Still, Emily liked how familiar this place felt, how natural it was to keep her footsteps soft as she walked down the hall in borrowed slippers.

The kitchen was small but cheerful, done up in bright yellow and lime green. The hunter, Vivian, was tending to a skillet of eggs, while a young woman with red hair and a simple black coat sat at the kitchen table. The woman looked dazed, her eyelids at half-mast, as though she were fighting the urge to drop off to sleep.

"Good morning, Emily!" said Vivian. "Would you like some eggs? And did you sleep well?"

"I think so. And yes, I would like some eggs, please." She sat down at the table, nervously glancing at the other woman.

"Oh, this is Jenny, the thrall I took from Edgar. Jenny, this is Emily, a thrall I rescued last night."

"Pleased to meet you," said Jenny with a smile.

"You were a thrall, too?"

"Yes, for a very long time, until Vivian killed my master. She's helping me get accustomed to the human world again. I spent so long under my master's spell that it's…" She trailed off, sinking back into a daze, before collecting herself again. "It's difficult, after having spent years under a vampire's spell."

"Years…"

"Mmm…" Her eyelids were drooping again, and in a fluid motion, she fell to her knees, bowing her head to no one.

Vivian took the pan off the burner for a moment to shake her gently awake. Her eyes popped open and she sat back down on the chair, blushing. "Sorry, I still slip back under sometimes. Vivian is helping with that."

"You've been making great progress, considering how deep you were in vampire thrall," said Vivian, as she placed a plate of eggs and toast in front of Emily.

As Emily quickly ate her breakfast, she couldn't help but feel embarrassed herself, recalling how she had acted around her lady. Many nights, she'd accompany Lady Jessica to a club or social call, kneeling by her lady's chair, laying her head in her lady's lap, allowing her lady to pet her as though she were a beloved dog. Perhaps she had looked just as Jenny did, lost in a stupor as she mindlessly worshiped a vampire.

It hadn't always been this way, she was sure. How had they done this to her?

"I should be able to help you, too," said Vivian, sitting at the table. "How long were you with vampires? Do you remember?"

"I'm not sure," Emily said, swallowing the lump in her throat. "I can't remember much of anything before my lady's -- the vampire's house. But she has been showing me off to everyone as her new thrall, still, so I don't think it's been that long. A couple of months, maybe."

"That's good, then, it'll be easier to recover if you weren't with her long. From what you've said, it sounds like you had your memories wiped. Did you go through the auction house?"

The mention of the auction house stirred up a particular image in her mind. She was standing on a stage under a spotlight, wearing an uncomfortable frilly dress and jeweled handcuffs, squinting to try and focus on the crowd in front of her, bidding. They were bidding on her, bidding more than she'd ever made in her life, and it was going so fast…

"Yes, I'm sure I went through the auction house."

Vivian nodded. "Do you know if you met a vampire named Lily?"

"Lily! Yes, I remember her well."

"She's the one who wiped your memories, then."

Emily didn't just remember Lily from the auction house, the vampire who put her to sleep so gently, who urged her to be quiet and docile and offer her blood. She also remembered Lily from nights at the Tiger's Eye. In fact, she had cozied up to Lily, shamelessly nuzzling her, feeling a deep need to be near her and to hear her voice, even though she was the one who had stolen Emily's life.

And all of the other little indignities bubbled up in her thoughts. Allowing the vampire to dress her up like a paper doll and walk her on a leash. Mindlessly accepting that she'd be discarded and sold again when her lady tired of her. Smiling dreamily as she offered up her neck to a bloodsucking monster. Oh, god, she'd let that vampire sink her fangs into her flesh and drink her blood so, so many times, and she'd been made to enjoy it.

"Emily, are you okay?"

She wiped at her hot tears. "I let them take my mind, didn't I?" she said, humiliated. "I let them take my blood, too. I don't even remember if I fought them, but either way, they won. They took my mind from me."

"You didn't let them do anything," said Vivian firmly. "Vampires are strong, incredibly so, and particularly some of the ones you've encountered. Their enthrallment abilities can be powerful, almost impossible to resist without magic. Even many hunters eventually fall and become a thrall themselves. It's not your fault that they did this to you."

Emily nodded, still lost in her deep rush of shame despite Vivian's words.

"But I have magic. I've been studying how to ward myself from vampires for a long time. And I know a ritual that can reverse enthrallment, if you're interested."

"Yes!" said Emily. "Yes, I want my memories back. I want to know who I was before all of this. There must be something I can go back to."

"If you're that eager, we can do the ritual right after breakfast, if you like. But I should warn you… not everyone who gets their memories back is happy about it," Vivian said. "It's just that vampires tend to prey on people who… don't have a lot of family, or people to notice if they go missing. A lot of thralls come from bad circumstances. Do you still want to try?"

She would be lying to herself if her heart didn't sink a bit, but she knew that her answer was still the same. "Yes. I think I want to know, even if it's awful. I don't want to feel like offering my blood to a vampire was the only thing I ever did in life."

"Then come with me."

Emily followed Vivian into a sort of parlor and up a spiral staircase that rattled with every step. They emerged in an attic that smelled of dust and mildew. Vivian lit a lantern, and then a number of candles on the floor, and Emily could see a chalk circle with strange symbols written in it. The floor was stained in some places with what looked like blood. She realized that she had been trusting the vampire hunter completely, even though she knew so little about her. Sure, she'd freed Emily from her fate as a thrall, but that didn't necessarily mean she was a safe person in every way.

"I'll need to spill some of my blood for this ritual. Don't worry, it won't harm you, apart from any harm you might get from the memories you've lost." The knife Vivian held had a blade as long as her hand that glinted in the candlelight. "All you need to do is kneel in the circle and close your eyes."

Emily shuddered, her vague memories of the auction house dancing through her mind. After all she'd been through, she really didn't want to be at someone else's mercy.

But she hardly had a choice. Without any memories or skills beyond being a vampire's pet, she didn't think she could survive on her own. She had no place to go, no friends or family that she remembered, and no job -- she was already at Vivian's mercy. Slowly, reluctantly, she knelt in the circle and held her eyes just barely closed.

"Perfect," said Vivian. "Now just try to relax, and whatever you feel, just go with it. Don't suppress it, or the ritual won't be as effective. You might feel awful as your mind returns, because one thing the vampires like to do is suppress your undesirable feelings so that you enjoy being their mindless slave. But you have to accept it, all right?"

"All right."

Emily knelt in the darkness, her knees growing sore, as Vivian began a low chant. With her eyes closed, she could hear Vivian walking around her, chanting, along with rustling noises. The scent of burning herbs joined the candle smoke.

"Hold still for a moment."

She could feel the pressure of Vivian's thumb on her forehead and cheeks, and it felt like she had smeared something on her. She chanted words in an unknown language into Emily's left ear, then her right.

Just as Emily was wondering when the ritual would start to have an effect, a wave of fear and shame and sadness swept her away. She thought she had been embarrassed before, but it was nothing like what she felt now, a deep horror at how she'd been captured and used, her mind stolen and bent and made to serve the monsters who had violated her. A choked sob escaped her throat, and she retched as she recalled what the feedings were like without the glowing haze of hypnosis surrounding them. The suppressed pain, the violence of the vampire's fangs, the smell of her own blood.

But she remembered. She remembered her family, the one she'd run from, thinking nothing could ever be worse. She remembered trying to scrape by with odd jobs and artwork, the dingy room she called home, the many nights she'd gone hungry. She remembered being tossed into a cell in the auction house, straining against the iron bars, not knowing what would happen to her.

"Emily." Vivian had stopped chanting. "You can open your eyes now. Are you okay?"

She didn't feel okay. She felt as though she'd experienced a lifetime's worth of trauma in the space of ten minutes. But at least she knew it was hers. At least she knew how hard she'd fought to make herself a real life, how much she struggled against the vampires before the fight had been taken out of her.

"I'll be okay," she said, mostly out of a hope that it would be true. "Thank you. Between this and saving me last night, I don't know how I can ever repay you."

"I don't expect you to pay me. I'm planning on ransacking your vampire's home tonight, and once I pawn most of it, there'll be money for both of us," she said. "But your former mistress was also known to be a real social butterfly, so if your memories are less foggy, I wouldn't mind if you paid me in information."

"What kind of information?"

"Mostly where I can find powerful vampires to kill."

"The Tiger's Eye," Emily said. "It's a club where all of the powerful vampires of the city go to drink and gossip. I think I can show you where it is."

"Oh, I appreciate that, but I already know about the Tiger's Eye. It's how I tracked your mistress. Unfortunately, even though I'm a real crackerjack of a hunter, I don't think I can take on an entire club's worth of vampires by myself. So as much as I'd like to, I can't raid their speakeasy. All I can do is track down the drunk ones once they leave."

"Oh, I see." Now that Emily could think more clearly about it, she would've dearly loved to see the entire place burned to the ground -- after every one of those poor thralls had been saved, of course. She could remember lounging on her lady's lap as Jessica drank from a woman covered in bite scars, who seemed to have barely any awareness of where she was, and bile rose in her throat again.

The Tiger's Eye -- there was something important she was supposed to remember --

"If you know of any individual vampires that would be good to track down… There's actually a few in particular --"

"Oliver!" That had been nagging at her. The thrall who had recognized her last night was Oliver, the unfortunate bookseller who had been her neighbor in the cells. He'd talk to her for hours, taking her mind off the sordid situation, and had ended up hypnotized out of his wits, eager to throw away his life for a vampire -- just as she had.

"Beg pardon? Is that the name of a vampire?"

"No, he's someone I met when I was in the auction house. He was sold to a vampire, of course, and my la-- Jessica said that he lived only a block away from us -- from her. Do you think you could rescue him, too?"

"A block away from Jessica, you say…" Vivian nodded slowly. "Yes, I think I can work with that, especially if you know anything about the vampire who bought him."

"I don't remember his name, but… he was fairly tall and thin, pale and with messy hair. And his voice… this may be a strange thing to recall, but his voice was like -- something you'd want to listen to for days, even if he only read the phone book."

"Hmm, that might be part of his enthrallment. I'll have to be careful," said Vivian. "I can't make any promises, but I think I could arrange a playdate with your friend Oliver and his master."

Previous > Masterlist

Next week: Fitz is put under the Maestro's control.

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[didee-anne]

I’m sad and angry

[mayghosts]

enemies to lovers with paige. buuuuut they were used to be best friends but something happened between them

-🎀

Snow Angel: Flurries (1) Paige Bueckers x reader

Summary: How does a class project repair your broken friendship, and how does a friendship turn into something more?

(TOC)

Warnings: unhealthy alcohol usage,

AN: my life is not in shambles anymore! Heres to posting multiple times a week!! I can’t believe I'm writing ANOTHER series??? Hello???

January 7th, 2024:

Sitting in the back of your Friday afternoon astronomy class, you gazed out the window, letting your eyes drift across the snow covered campus. You always had a hard time focusing in this class, mainly due to the blonde who always sat a few rows away from you. However, today was different. Paige was missing from her regular seat, which you now knew was because of the basketball game against Gerogetown. Her absence seemed to have a similar effect on you as to when she was actually present. Instead of constantly staring at the back of her head and wondering what went wrong, you stared out the window and wondered over and over where did we go wrong?

(Flashback) October 31st, 2022:

“Paigeeeee, are you ready to go?” you giggled, stumbling into your dorm living room and wrapping your arms around her neck. You swayed side to side, already feeling the buzz of the shots you had taken with Nika a few minutes ago. “Jesus, Nika! How many shots did you give her!!” You could hear the concern laced in Paiges voice as she stabilized your hips and unwound your hands from her neck. You melted under her touch, god she was pretty.

You had never been much of a drinker, all throughout highschool when you and Paige would go out to parties she would drink and you would stay sober so you could drive home. However, this year had been hard on you, and lately drinking has been your saving grace after a long day.

You were absolutely hammered by the time the party started winding down. Stumbling around in your cowboy boots and someone elses costume cape, the last thing you remember was clinging to Paiges arm she gently helped you into the back of the Uber.

Waking up the next morning, your head was pulsing and your could already feel the hangover anxiety eating away at your stomach. Squinting your eyes at the light from your phone, you opened your texts. However, you were met with a big paragraph from Nika and a short but tense text from Azzi. Nothing from Paige. Scanning over the texts quickly, you immediately found yourself calling Paige.

Your call going straight to voice mail didn't help the queasy feeling in your stomache at all. 

Slipping out of bed, you dragged your feet into the bathroom to quickly brush your teeth and wash your face. The bathroom tiles were icey cold, even with socks on your feet were freezing. As you scrubbed at the crusted on makeup, you racked your brain to try and remember the events of last night. You slid your slides on, making your way out of your dorm and down the hall to Paige and Nikas dorm. Knocking quietly, you felt the anxiety eating at you again. You heard shuffling before the door opened to reveal a clean and practice ready Nika.

“What are you doing here?” her harsh tone took you by surprise. You blinked absently at her for a moment, “uhh… I just wanted to ask what happened? Last night? And see if Paige is okay, my call to her didn’t go through and-” you could see her getting more irritated as you kept talking before she interrupted you. “She dosen’t want to see you right now okay? And neither do I, you really fucked up last night and honestly your behavior lately has been ridiculous. I need to go to practice and I don’t want to see you again until you can get your shit together.” Pushing past you, she walked straight into the stairwell, letting the dorm door slam behind her.

More confused than ever, you made your way back to your dorm and crawled right back into bed. You knew you weren't really the same person you were when you met them, but you never considered the change to be a bad thing. If anything you were more confident and more comfterable in your body. So what if you go out a few times a week. Honestly, you weren't even sure if that was what she was talking about. Regardless, you spent the next month trying to fix something you didn’t understand. You scoured the texts Azzi and Nika had sent you for any details or clues, but the most you could figure out was that you said something to Paige.

You sent countless texts until yu found out you were blocked. After that you tried emails, Instagram DMs, waiting outside classes, and even tried to befriend the media girl, just for a chance to talk to Paige. However, the blonde was basically untouchable. Between her teammates constantly watching you and her persistence with blocking you on every possible internet platform, you found yourself friendless and worst of all Paige-less.

January 7th, 2024:

You were pulled from your day dream as you heard your professor say your last name “… you will be working with…” he dug his hand around in the little bucket on his desk. You assumed this was for another partner project “Paige Bueckers!” shit.

Stepping out of the lecture hall, you felt a similar sense of dread in your stomach as you dragged your feet towards the dining hall. As you walked you pulled out your phone and started drafting a text to send to Paige. Standing in line for your smoothie, you were once again met with the brutal realization that your were stilll blocked. Guess we can just start on Monday?

[yan-lorkai]

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡Day one: Azul sewing buttons over their darling eyes

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: I've been meaning to watch Coraline again because i remember that it was such a good movie. Then, thinking about it, I got kinda inspired by the whole button eyes thing and wrote this, and well it's october, so I had to start my halloween event with style <3

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warnings: Yandere content, violence agaisnt the reader (hair pulling, choking, pulling their eyes out to sewn buttons on, yknow the usual), threats, gn!reader.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Tagging: @harukishiyo @kiraiyugen @orisaspirin

The room was cold, a stark contrast to the suffocating heat of your skin - winter had begun in both this world and yours, but here it was harsher and more cutting, impossible to bear even after you had wrapped yourself up warm.

Normally you would have taken refuge in Azul's room so the two of you could cuddle together and talk about each other's day. He was sweet and caring, so different from the Azul of your world. However, he had business to finish and asked only that you wait for him in the Mostro Lounge.

And you've been waiting for him for thirty minutes now.

It was strange to be there with no one around, other than the sound of the fish swimming in the aquariums, your own breathing and foot tapping impatiently against the floor. The atmosphere that used to be vibrant and welcoming during the mornings seemed strangely heavy - maybe it was the strangeness of being there alone, in a dark-toned environment, or maybe it was your damn curiosity.

Even though you loved this version of Azul more and liked this version of the twins more, because they were the opposite of what they were in your world and how they treated you there, you couldn't help but miss your world, even if just a little. You couldn't help but feel like recently the three of them had been acting strange, whispering among themselves, stopping talking whenever you were around, watching you like vultures looking for carrion.

Perhaps, you think, this will be the last time I return to this world.

You could leave whenever you wanted, you could walk through the door and never come back. You could do that even now - you look towards Azul's office. The secret door was there. Hidden behind his desk.

The first time you had walked through that door was because of your curiosity, you wanted to know what was on the other side. And both you and this Azul, with his beautiful buttons for eyes, stared at each other for several seconds before he looked away and put his hand to his chest, asking himself out loud if he was seeing things, if the stress was driving him crazy.

And Floyd, next to him, began to laugh uncontrollably, tears falling from his buttons as he saw the expression on your face and Azul's face. Which caught Jade's attention, who entered the office, saw you still in the same position, Azul's face, and began to laugh too.

Sweet moments like this became more and more distant, leaving you with a bitter taste in your mouth. They left you with a deep longing.

You wanted back the jokes and pranks, and the care the three of them had for you. You want to feel part of this world again. You want to sit beside Jade and watch the sun rising from his window, you want to bake and cook with Floyd and you want Azul to look at you his shiny buttons and soft smile that made you weak.

You wanted everything back. Yet you couldn't have it back.

You were sitting in a comfortable chair, unable to understand why you had been called there so late. The silence was only broken by the distant sound of the clock on the wall, marking the passing of time. The fish were all asleep now.

Suddenly, the door opened softly, and Azul entered the room, followed by Jade and Floyd. There was something strange about them. Their eyes… They didn't glow like they usually did, I mean, they were made of buttons, but even so, there were times when they glowed as brightly as normal, living eyes.

Instead, what you saw now were dull button eyes. Black and lifeless. Like black holes that stared at you without ever closing their eyes, always searching for a secret where there was none.

“Oh, I’m glad you could come,” Azul’s voice was both calm and cold, as if he wanted you there but didn’t care that you were there, there was still a hint of somberness in his tone. “We really wanted to see you… We’ve been thinking about something a lot lately, planning, I mean, I know it’s nerve-wracking, but of course it’s your decision.”

Your body froze as Jade and Floyd approached, their firm hands gripping your shoulders, pinning you to the chair. A disturbing smile formed on Floyd's face, his gaze fixed on you, but empty, as empty as the buttons in his eyes.

A soft sigh escaped your lips as Azul stepped closer, the crazy grin on his face accentuated even further by his black buttons. "What... What does all this mean?"

Azul pouted. He was between doubt and hope that you would accept whatever offer he had to offer. "That's just precaution."

He ignored your startled look, calmly taking out a small sewing kit from his pocket. Inside, needles and buttons. “You’re so out of date with your human eyes, obsolete, sorry to say. But we can fix that, buttons are much better, don’t you agree? Will you… accept them?”

You wanted to deny it, you wanted to scream and run away, and never look back. But the twins' strong hands held you tightly, leaving painful marks on your forearms. It would be impossible to fight them, you concluded.

Deceiving them, on the other hand... Maybe it would work.

You took a deep breath, trying your best to pretend irritation instead of fear. And then you lifted your chin and answered him. "Zuzu, as a couple I thought we should discuss this between us without them being present. You hurt me with your attitude."

Azul hesitated for a second, a faint blush rising to his cheeks. "Honey... I'm sorry, it's just..." He pressed his lips into a thin line as he forced his mind to work. "I'm sorry, but you didn't answer my question. Do you accept them?"

You turned your face away and bit your lips, a clear indication of your anger. You always did that when you were angry and that was what you wanted him to think. Jade, on the other hand, seemed to be enjoying the fight between the two of you while Floyd chuckled softly.

"Alone, Zuzu." You answered him. "Or maybe... You don't love me anymore and that's why you don't trust me?"

Your eyes watered, they were more tears of fear than sadness, and perhaps anger for not having listened to your instincts before and having escaped, still, Azul seemed to buy your act and let out a big sigh.

The sewing bag was placed on a table, a safe distance away, you watched, as he motioned for the twins to move away.

"You know what to do." He muttered.

And you turned in time to see Jade disappearing into the office while Floyd headed for the exit, as if they had rehearsed it. You suppressed a scream of rage inside you.

It was Azul, of course, he would now be predicting your strategies carefully, searching for a bluff or a lie. But you were confident that you could beat him somehow, that you could be smarter.

"We could have talked, you know... Instead of you just deciding everything for me... Like he always does." Your mention of another version of him made him grind his teeth, Azul hated being compared to his otherworldly self.

He had to be better, even better than himself.

He was waiting for whatever you had to say, but you weren't in any hurry at all, far from it. You were trying hard not to let the panic show in your eyes or posture. Still seated, you rubbed your sore arms, fully aware that he continued to stare at you.

Azul truly had an awful habit of staring at people until they felt uncomfortable and started to reveal what they didn’t want to. You took a deep breath. You couldn't let this technique work on you.

Instead, you stood up with feline steps, trying not to appear desperate as you approached him and wrapped him in an embrace. Almost instantly, he returned the gesture, but it wasn't comfortable.

It was suffocating, like a cage. Cold as ice. You missed Azul. Either one of them, any of them who loved you well and treated you kindly. But they were both the same. They were horrible. Bitter.

“When did we stop communicating, Zuzu?” It was a question with many answers, one that made your heart beat slowly with growing sadness. You looked at him. He looked back at you with a kind of nervous smile.

“I don't know,” Azul confessed, his voice losing its dominant cadence. He truly seemed not to know when things fell apart or maybe he was pretending very well to make you feel sorry for him. “But I was afraid you'd leave and never come back. There are so many differences between my world and yours, and if I were you, I would've gone back home.”

Your throat tightened at the confession but you didn’t allow guilt to take over. Not now, not when every second was vital. Gently, you stroked his hair, a gesture more to calm yourself than to soothe him.

“I would never leave, Azul.” Your words were soft, almost a whisper as you looked at him. “I always come back to you, don’t I? Because I know I love you more than I love my old world.”

Azul sighed, relaxing slightly in your embrace, as if he believed every word you said. But you knew you couldn’t let your guard down. He was far too clever for that and any slip would be fatal.

“Then why do you never really look at me?” His question cut like a knife and the grip around you tightened. “You always look beyond me, as if I’m… disposable. I don't want to be disposable, not to you.”

Your heart tightened and you had to fight to stay in control. You couldn’t hesitate now. “You’re not disposable, Azul. But you need to trust me, the same way I’m trying to trust you now, even after you’ve scared me like this.” You knew those words were fragile, a tightrope between a lie and the truth.

But it was all you had.

For a moment, Azul seemed to waver, his body trembling slightly against yours. This was your chance. Slowly, without letting go of the embrace, you reached for your pocket, where a small object was hidden, something that could help you free yourself from this trap.

“Do you… do you really want this?” He whispered, his voice broken by doubts and insecurities that seemed so human they almost made you hesitate. “For me to trust you?”

“Yes, I do.” You replied, keeping your gaze fixed on him, even though his button eyes couldn’t reflect the emotion he felt and that pulsed in your rapid heartbeat. “I believe we’re all too agitated right now, so how about we talk in the morning?”

Azul blinked, surprised. The tension in his arms eased, just a bit, but it was enough. In one swift, precise movement, you pulled the object from your pocket. In a desperate gesture, you pressed it against Azul's arm.

He choked, his button eyes widening with an expression that bordered on shock and horror. Betrayal was written on his face and eyes, and everywhere you could see, and you hated yourself for it.

“Why?” He asked, his voice sounding like that of a lost child, on the verge of tears. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I still want to save you, Azul.” You said, even knowing that the words wouldn’t be enough to erase the darkness that had engulfed him. "And to save you, I have to save myself."

With a shove, you broke free from him and stepped back, keeping the knife raised as your heart pounded in your ears.

Azul stood still, blood dripping slowly from his arm, his button eyes shining with a mix of confusion and sadness that was painful to see. But you had no more time. You had to leave before Jade and Floyd noticed what was happening – you glanced over your shoulder, Jade was still in the office.

And then, with one last look at the man you loved and feared, you ran toward the exit, hoping there was still time to escape, praying that Floyd was far away, knowing there was no other option.

The room seemed to freeze the moment you made your move. The knife in your hand trembled slightly, you tightened your grip as you saw from the corner of your eye Azul was still motionless, you hoped the shock would be enough for him to hesitate.

But he didn’t.

In an instant, the confusion and vulnerability on Azul’s face transformed into something far darker, colder and more calculated. His hand moved with terrifying speed, grabbing your hair forcefully, the knife now pressed uselessly between the two of you as pain pulsed in your head.

“You think you can fool me like this?” He whispered, his voice regaining that controlled, ocean-cold tone. “I’m much smarter than that, my dear. You never stood a chance.”

Your body stiffened and a shiver ran down your spine. Azul smiled, a cutting, empty smilex and in one quick motion, he twisted your wrist, making the knife fall from your hand with a metallic clatter on the floor.

“You wanted to save me?” He laughed softly but there was no humor in his laugh. His fingers now squeezed your neck with increasing force. "And you thought running away would solve everything? I’d follow you to the other world and kill them all.”

Your heart pounded in your chest as oxygen gradually left you, his grip unyielding. There was no opening. Fear began to consume you and you finally realized you had underestimated Azul, how he had always been one step ahead.

He knew you would lie; he knew you would attack him.

And he had prepared for it.

“I never intended to hurt you, you know…” Azul leaned closer, his button eyes gleaming ominously in the dim light of the room. “But now, you’ve left me no choice.”

He released your wrist only to, in one agile move, grab your hair again, forcing you to look directly into his button eyes that, ironically, seemed to see even deeper into you. “I would never let you go. And now… You will learn to stay with me. Forever.”

You felt a tightening in your throat and the words you wanted to say were lost in the growing panic. Azul's touch on your neck was cold, but his smile, still gentle, was now a silent warning.

There was no more escape.

There never had been.

“I’ll show you how we truly belong to each other.” Azul’s voice was soft but it carried a weight that crushed any hope you still had.

He then made a quick gesture with his free hand and before you could react, Jade and Floyd emerged from the shadows, their twisted smiles amplifying the terror that gripped you - you hadn't even realized when they returned.

“You thought you could fool us all, didn't you?” Jade said softly, while Floyd chuckled beside him. “I thought we were friends, shrimpy? Friends don't abandon each other.”

Before you could even try to struggle, Jade and Floyd’s hands were on you again, holding your arms with a grip that made your bones ache even more than before. Azul took a step back, observing the scene with an almost analytical gaze, as if evaluating your last desperate attempt, uncaring about your tears and fear.

“Now, now,” Azul said calmly, picking up the small sewing kit he had set aside. “No more running, no more lies. Let’s start over, shall we? This time… you won’t escape.”

“It’ll be fun,” Floyd whispered, his voice drawn out with a sadistic tone that made your skin crawl.

Terror gripped you. Trying to move seemed futile with Jade and Floyd's strength holding you firmly in place. Your breathing quickened and your heartbeat echoed in your head like drums.

The silence was piercing and your senses were sharpened with fear. Jade and Floyd’s hands were tight around your arms, their claws firm and preventing any attempt at escape. They smiled sinisterly, their button eyes reflecting the soft glow of the light above, lifeless and yet piercing.

They weren't your friends.

Friends protect each other.

They don't let harm get you.

They don't lie to you.

Azul approached you with calm steps, his gentle smile looking more like a grotesque mask now. He held a long needle, with the black thread already attached, and in his other hand, there was a scalpel shining in the dim light.

“Oh, you’re scared, aren’t you?” Azul’s voice was soft, almost comforting but the wicked glint in his button eyes gave away his true intentions. “Don’t worry, it’ll be quick. If you had agreed, I would have given you an injection so you wouldn’t feel so much pain, but in this case, I think you deserve a little pain and fear.”

You tried to struggle, your body instinctively fighting the impending terror but Jade and Floyd chuckled softly as they kept your body firmly pinned down. Azul's scalpel flashed once more as he leaned closer, bringing the blade to eye level.

“Let’s begin…” Azul whispered, and without further warning, he pressed the cold blade against the skin around your left eye. "Breathe deep, my love. Don't go faiting on me now."

The pain was instantaneous, searing, as if your skin was being torn by fire. You tried to scream, but fear and horror tightened your throat.

All that came out was a muffled, desperate groan. The blade glided smoothly, with meticulous precision, as Azul cut around your eye with the same calmness as someone sewing simple fabric.

Floyd leaned close to your ear and laughed. “I can hear your heart beating so fast, so excited, shrimpy!”

Jade, with his restrained smile, whispered softly, “Don’t move too much or the cut might become… Uneven, fufu. Surely, you don't want this?”

Azul’s scalpel finally made the final cut around your eye, and you felt a horrible sensation — a pressure that dissipated, as if something vital was about to be ripped out of you. Azul calmly set the scalpel aside and, with two thin, cool fingers, reached for your eye. He pulled, and pain shot through you like a wave of fire.

You felt the connection snap. Your eye was ripped out.

The emptiness that was left was worse than the pain.

The world around you grew darker, more distorted, but there was no time for rest. Azul was already preparing to repeat the process on the other eye, the same expression of cold concentration as the needle and thread rested, waiting for the final touch.

“Please…” You pleaded, gripping onto the tweels arms for comfort. The pain too much to bear. "Please don't..."

It was horrible. More painful than any pain you had ever felt before. A scream tore from your throat as the blade made contact with your other eye, blood and tears mixing in equal measure as Azul calmly continued his work.

"Breathe in, Yuu, and breathe out." Jade instructed as the pain became suffocating and, instead of trying to run away, you sank into his and Floyd's arms, reaching for something, anything that could stop it. "It's almost over, darling. And you were so brave."

Floyd nodded, releasing his grip on you to instead lean down and wrap you in a hug. “Almost over. And soon you’ll be one of us.”

The sound of voices didn't seem to register in your mind, only the absurd amount of blood dripping down your face like a grotesque river. And then, Azul tugged on your other eye, leaving you completely in the dark.

It was dark and cold, and horrible. You felt Floyd pull you closer to him, no doubt trying to convey some comfort.

He failed.

Your lungs seemed to be unable to receive any air, but you managed to take a deep breath. Your head was already starting to hurt from the lack of air and the tears had stopped falling. The blood was still dripping in smaller quantities, and your ears were working at full speed to find out what they were doing, where Azul was moving.

No doubt, everyone should be smiling. You failed to convince Azul, you failed to escape, you failed to realize their intentions.

You failed at everything.

A hand on your shoulder made you jump, whimpering.

"Oh, I'm sorry, love," It was Azul and he sounded so happy, far too cheerful for someone who had just stolen your vision. "Which color do you want for your buttons? Baby pink or soft blue?"

His words made your blood run cold, each syllable laced with a casualness that felt like a knife twisting deeper into your heart. You blinked, even though you knew you couldn’t see anything now; the darkness was absolute, smothering and suffocating.

You could only feel — the wet warmth of blood trickling down your cheeks, the sharp sting where your eyes had once been.

“Please… Azul…” You rasped, throat dry from the pain and fear, struggling to form coherent words through the haze of agony. “Don’t… please…”

He shushed you softly, his fingers gently brushing against your cheek, tracing the blood that stained your skin. "Shhh, don't worry, dear. This is for the best, you'll see," He murmured, his tone soothing, as if he were comforting a frightened child. "Now, tell me. Which color do you prefer?"

You couldn’t tell if it was the pain or his words that made you feel like you were spiraling into madness. Your hands were trembling uncontrollably and you tried to lift them to your face, but Floyd’s grip on your wrists tightened, forcing them back down.

“Azul, come on,” Floyd whined, his voice filled with impatience. “They’re not gonna choose. Can’t we just go with the pink? It’s cuter and suits them better”

“Patience, Floyd.” Jade’s voice, smooth and unhurried, cut in. You could feel his presence, too, close, far too close, he too was leaning to join the hug that was suffocating you. “Our dear friend should have the opportunity to decide. It’s only fair, after all.”

Your mind raced, desperate for some kind of escape, some way to make them stop, but you were trapped. Every breath you took felt like shards of glass scraping down your throat, the panic rising, threatening to drown you.

“Azul,” you whispered again, barely more than a breath, “You don’t have to do this…”

“Ah, but I do,” He replied, and his tone shifted, taking on a wistful quality, like he was talking about something terribly precious to him. “Unless you don't want your vision back, then be my guest, darling.”

You choked on a sob, your body trembling violently now, your knees threatening to give out. “I want... But please... Just...”

But he wasn’t listening. Instead, he hummed thoughtfully, as if genuinely considering your words, yet he was too into his own little world thinking about the buttons that would adorn your adorable face.

"Blue," He finally decided, almost sounding satisfied. "It'll match the shade of my eyes. Yes, I think that's perfect."

“Good choice, boss,” Floyd chimed in and you could feel the grin in his voice, his excitement palpable. “Let’s get started then, yeah?”

Azul’s grip on your shoulder tightened, not painfully, but firmly, like he was anchoring you to him. "Don't worry," He murmured softly, so close you could feel his breath against your skin. "This will only hurt for a moment."

“No—no, please!” You tried to jerk away, but Jade’s hands were suddenly on you too, their combined strength pinning you in place, forcing you to be still. Panic surged through you, a scream building in your throat as you felt the sharp, metallic touch of a needle pressing against your skin.

Azul’s voice came again, soothing and gentle, but laced with that same terrifying undertone. “Just stay still, love. It'll all be over soon, and then… then you’ll be perfect.”

And as the needle began to pierce through, the pain flaring white-hot, you knew with a sickening certainty that there would be no escape.

Not anymore.

[jessicaloons]

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince:

Chapter 3

Masterlist - Previous - Next

Miss Americana

October 2022:

"… and then Miss Larimer said that we can pet the puppies…" Gabriel said excitedly, jumping up and down "They are so cute, Rach, I swear! I want one! Do you help me to convince dad to get me one? Pleeeaseee?"

Rachel only listened half-heartedly, reading the text on her phone while unlocking the car.

"Rachel! Please! I swear I’ll always eat my veggies, brush my teeth and go to bed when you tell me to, for the rest of my life! Please!" the little boy kept going but his nanny still didn’t react, her eyes still trained on her phone "RACHEL!"

She flinched looking into the rear view mirror at Gabriel who rolled his eyes.

"Sorry, what did you say?" she stuttered, trying to calm herself down.

"I said that Miss Larimer brought her puppies to school today and we could pet them and they were so cute and I want one! Can you help me to convince dad?" she saw her own set of puppy eyes in the mirror and laughed.

"Your dad is allergic to dogs, Gabe. You know that… are you buckled in?" Rachel started the car, driving off the parking lot, after Gabe nodded.

"That sucks…" the boy puffed out, looking out of the window, watching the boats and yachts in the harbour "One day I want to be a vet and then I can hang out with animals all day long."

"A vet? That’s an amazing idea, Gabe!" Rachel smiled and he nodded "And I’m sure you’d be an amazing vet!"

"You think so?" the blonde boy asked, making big eyes.

"Are you kidding me? Do you remember when we were at the zoo and you weren’t afraid to hold the snakes? Or touch the tarantulas! You even held up this definitely not cute looking lizard and cooed at it like it’s a sweet, fluffy puppy." the nanny recalled and Gabe smiled, thinking back to their trip to the zoo a couple of weeks ago.

"All animals are cute somehow." he shrugged and Rachel chuckled.

"See? You would be a perfect vet."

"You’re taking care of people and I’m taking care of animals. We’re both lifesavers!"

"Oh well, I’m not there yet. I only started my practical studies 6 months ago… as of now I’m not a lifesaver…"

"Yet. You’ll get there." Gabe chimed in and Rachel nodded.

"I will."

The rest of the car ride was spent in silence and when they arrived at home Gabe sat down at the kitchen island, starting with his homework.

"I’m back in a minute and then I make you a snack before we leave…" she said more to herself and walked out the back door, hastily making her way into her little studio.

She closed the door, pulling out her phone. With trembling hands she opened up the messages she got earlier.

I was at your university today.

According to your schedule you sent us you should’ve been there.

Where were you?

Also, isn’t it interesting that in the dormitory you’re supposed to live no one knows you?

Where the fuck are you, Rachel.

Tony. He was here. With trembling fingers Rachel dialled Stuart’s number.

"Hey Rach…"

"The app that’s blocking others from tracing my phone works, right?" Rachel cut him off and there was silence, the girl thinking her friends might’ve hung up on her "Stuart?"

"Yes. Of course? What’s going on?" her friend sounded concerned "Where are you?"

"At home. But-… they’re here. They checked in on me. But I wasn’t at university, because I didn’t update them on my new schedule… they won’t like that I specialised on paediatric… they were at my dormitory-…"

"Your dormitory? You don’t live here?"

"Yeah, but I didn’t tell them… I said that I was living at St. Julie Hall, they shouldn’t know that I saved a shit ton of money because I work and live outside of campus…" Rachel breathed out.

"Ignore it. You were at the hospital today. Answer tonight. Say that you moved to a different dorm and thought that you told them but must’ve forgot…" Stuart suggested.

"And what if they decide to come back?" her voice barely above a whisper.

"We’ll figure it out."

"They can’t find out about Gabe and Peter…"

"They won’t. Rach, they can’t track your phone. The only location they will get is the campus or the hospital, Marcus took care of it. You have a good excuse. It’s going to be fine, okay?" Stuart reassured Rachel, who took a deep breath.

"I have to take Gabe to his soccer practice now." she got up, checking herself in the mirror.

"Okay… take care Rach, and if you need anything, call, text, whatever…"

"Thanks Stu."

Rachel was tense and on alert the whole afternoon, looking around, searching the park and parking lot for someone from home, but thankfully she didn’t spot anything out of the ordinary. When she stood in the kitchen, preparing dinner, her phone rang and she took a deep breath, before she answered the call.

"Rachel?" her father.

"What’s up dad?"

"Don’t what’s up dad me! Where have you been? Why didn’t you answer your phone?" he was mad.

"What are you talking about? I just left the hospital when you called? I had a training shift today." Rachel lied, trying to sound confused and annoyed at the same time.

"You were at the hospital? Not on the campus?"

"No. I have more and more training shifts now, I’m getting my practical hours in now and I swear I love it." fake excitement.

"That’s good to hear, Rach… but Tony said it was weird that no one knew you in your dorm…"

"What? Why was Tony at my dorm?"

"He wanted to check in on you-…"

"Why? We had a deal! I’m allowed to finish my studies and not be bothered!"

"I don’t know, okay? He came over and told me that he visited you… something about checking in on their investment…-"

"Their investment? I’m here on a scholarship! None of you is investing anything in my education! I have a deal with his father. And I have no problem in calling him and telling him the deal is off the table if you lot don’t hold your end of the bargain!" Rachel was furious and didn’t even had to fake it.

"I don’t think his father knew that he was visiting you… Tony just stormed in here and told me that you weren’t at the campus and no one knew you at your dorm-…"

"Because I moved! When I came back after the summer a fellow student told me that there is an open spot at Fennell Hall, the dormitory right on campus. She knows the RA and so I got the spot. It’s a little more expensive but I only need 5 minutes to classes now. I told you that!"

"You did?" her fathers voice faltered.

"Yeah, right after my first week back. It’s a new term and when I came back I didn’t know most of the students in my old dormitory anyway, so I thought a change would be nice." Rachel said casually, when she saw Gabe getting off the sofa "Listen dad, it’s been a damn long day, I’ve been awake since 5 am. I just want to drive home, take a shower and sleep. Are we done here?" she fake yawned, hoping her father would believe her.

"Yeah… sure. Take care, Rachel." he said and Rachel thanked the universe for making him believe her.

"Will do. Good night dad." she hung up, right when Gabe sat down at the kitchen island, sniffling the air. She calmed herself down, smiling at the young boy.

"Smells good, what is it?" he asked.

"It’s a beef stew, here, have a taste." she scooped up some of the stew and blew cold air on it while Gabe walked around the island "Careful, it might be still a little hot."

The young boy chewed his food, making big eyes, swallowing his bite down.

"That’s good!" he exclaimed and his nanny smiled "Will dad be here to eat with us?"

"He said he will."

"Good. I want to tell him that I want to be a vet when I grow up."

"A vet? Where did that come from?" Peter walked into the kitchen, loosening his tie "What happened to rocket scientist?"

"As a vet I can hang out with animals all day long…" Gabe shrugged taking the plates from Rachel, setting the table.

"Well that’s true." his father laughed, squeezing his nanny’s arm "Are you okay, Rach? You’re a little pale?"

"I’m fine, it’s just a lot right now, everyone is starting to prepare for the exams…"

"Already? Wait? When are the exams?" he looked confused.

"We still got time, but yeah. Preparation is key, that’s what our professors love to say." Rachel rolled her eyes and Pete laughed, getting himself a beer.

"I can’t believe that in not even 8 months you’re done. God where do I find another amazing nanny just like you again?" he pouted, sitting down on a stool "A nanny that can cook like you!"

"Why don’t you stay with us forever?" Gabe looked at his nanny "I don’t want you to go."

"Believe me, Gabe, I don’t want to either, but when I’m done, I’m a nurse, I’ll have to take over so many shifts and I just wouldn’t have enough time for you." Rachel ruffled his hair a little.

"But you come visit us? Right?" he asked and she swallowed hard, nodding.

"Of course, little one." Rachel lied, feeling sick doing so.

The girl was quiet during dinner, listening to Gabe and his father, enjoying the family time. She knew that as soon as she graduated she would be gone. Telling Peter a half truth why she had to leave so fast, promising to stay in touch, knowing it would all be nothing but lies. She dreaded that day, over the past years she really grew close to the father son duo, loved them wholeheartedly. But she couldn’t risk them getting into harms way. And she wouldn’t do it. But she knew that leaving them behind would break her heart. And when she sat down with Gabe after dinner, all cuddled up on the sofa, watching cartoons, the first crack in her heart already formed.

"I’m going to miss you so much… you’re my best friend." Gabe whispered, making Rachel close her eyes, trying her best to not cry.

"I’ll miss you too, buddy, so damn much."

June 2023:

With her diploma in hand, Rachel walked off the stage, waving at Peter and Gabriel, the only ones to attend her graduation. After shaking some more hands and joining her fellow graduates for the hat toss, she walked over to Peter and Gabriel. The boy running up to his nanny, hugging her tight.

"We’re so proud of you Rachel!" Peter said, hugging her as well "Valedictorian. Wow. Amazing."

"Thank you for coming." the young girl blushed a little, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Are you kidding me? We would never miss this opportunity!" Peter smiled "And now, I’d love to take you out for dinner, if you haven’t planned anything yet? You didn’t say that you would celebrate afterwards so I reserved a table at La Chabelle just in case."

"Oh wow, Peter! You didn’t have to." Rachel blushed even more.

"You worked so hard over the last four years. You deserve a treat!"

"Okay…" Rachel began when she felt her phone vibrate "I umm- I just want to say goodbye to a few of my classmates and then we can leave."

"Okay, we’re waiting by the car." Peter and Gabriel walked off and Rachel took out her phone, reading the text.

"Rach-…" Stuart grabbed her shoulder, making her flinch "Hey, it’s me. Sorry! I didn’t want to scare you."

"I need to leave as soon as possible." she just said and Stuart looked confused "Here…" she shoved him her phone in his hands and he read the text.

"Next Friday? Didn’t you say that your graduation is on Friday?"

"They want me to come back immediately after. They’re sending someone to help me with my stuff… I have to play my part to make them believe I’m still here. They can’t know that I’m gone. They would send someone after me immediately. I should leave now. Yes. I’m leaving now."

"Okay, take a deep breath for me. Look at me Rach. I call my contact person and tell them you’re coming earlier than planned. But for tonight you’re going with Peter and Gabriel to La Chabelle, you’re enjoying your last night here. I’ll go to your place and start packing your stuff, we’ll figure it out okay?"

"But what will I tell Peter and Gabe? I have to tell Peter the truth. I planned it all out. Fuck this is ruining everything! But he has to know that I’m leaving. I can’t just disappear…"

"You will tell him tonight. It’s fine."

"Okay-… I- I have to go now, they’re waiting for me." Rachel looked towards the parking lot and Stuart nodded.

"You go, I take care of the rest. It’s going to be fine, you’ll see." he reassured the blonde girl and she nodded, then she pulled him in a tight hug.

"Thank you Stu, for everything. You’re a true friend…"

"It’s okay Rach, really. Now go."

With one last look she walked off, towards the sleek, black Mercedes of her boss, getting in as soon as she reached it.

"Ready?" Peter asked and Rachel nodded.

"Ready."

"Me too!" Gabe said from the backseat and they laughed.

"Then let’s go." Peter steered the car onto the busy road, driving across town and stopped in front of La Chabelle.

"Good night, buddy." Rachel kissed the young boys forehead, ruffling his hair while getting up.

"Good night…" Gabe mumbled, almost drifting off to sleep immediately.

The nanny carefully walked over to the door, quietly opening it before turning around once more, looking at the boy she took care of for the last 4 years. All the memories of the past years came to her mind. She felt her heart ache, not ready to say her final goodbye, although deep down she knew she had to. In order to keep Gabe and his dad safe, Rachel had to disappear. She took a deep breath and quietly closed the door, gathering herself for the conversation she would now have with her boss of the last 4 years. Peter was amazing. He paid Rachel more than well, took her and Gabe on little trips here and there. Always treated her like a part of the family, rather than a subordinate. She would miss him as well.

"Rach? Can we talk?" the girl flinched when her boss appeared out of nowhere in front of her, stopping her train of thoughts.

"Umm-… sure, I actually wanted to talk to you as well…" she gulped, following him downstairs.

"Yeah?" Peter replied and pointed to the sofa "You want a drink? Because I sure as hell need one…" he poured himself a glass of scotch, before looking at his nanny "Oh I forgot, scotch tastes like washing detergent, was it?"

"Yeah…" Rachel chuckled, accepting the can of coke her boss handed her "So- umm… about what did you want to talk to me?"

"Gabe and I… we’ll leave next week…" he blurted out, rubbing his neck, and Rachel tilted her head a little "Of course you’re free to stay until the end of the month in the studio, as we agreed on. But Gabe and I, we won’t be here until then…"

"You’re going on vacation?" the girl asked, although she was sure that she would’ve known if her boss had planned something.

"No. Not on vacation. Rachel, Gabe and I, we’re moving to Austin. I got a new job there…"

"Wow! That’s amazing!" a big smile spread on Rachel’s face, in Austin they would be safe "You didn’t tell me that you were looking for a new job? But I’m so happy for you!"

"Yeah, it was… well my boss contacted me out of the blue last week and offered me the job… they need me there as soon as possible… but this job, it’s the opportunity of a lifetime, you know?"

"Sounds amazing and I think Gabe will love it, he can become a real cowboy then…" the girl laughed, looking at the man in front of her, a serious look on his face "It’s going to be fine, just don’t let him alone with a horse for too long or you have to buy it!"

"Yeah… probably." Peter smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

"Okay, what’s wrong?" Rachel asked, looking at him intently.

"Is it too rushed? I don’t know how Gabe will take it? All his friends are here? Tearing him away from everything familiar?"

"You know your son, he can deal with everything. He will find new friends in no time, don’t worry!"

"Yeah, you’re right…" he sighed a little, scratching his chin "And what is it you wanted to talk about?"

"Oh- umm… I wanted to say that some friends asked me if I wanted to join them on a little trip… we would leave in the next days, I don’t know when exactly. I know, it’s a little spontaneous, but yeah…" Rachel lied, smiling innocently.

"Sounds wonderful! You should go, Gabe and I will be fine… we need to get used to a life without you now anyways! Unless you want to join us in Austin?" he smiled, a tinge of hope in his voice.

"As much as I appreciate the offer, I already have some job interviews lined up here, so…"

"Understandable, but you know that you’re always more than welcome!" Peter said and the girl nodded.

"I know Pete, and I really appreciate it…" she got up "I guess it’s time for me to pack my stuff then, maybe Stu can come in tomorrow and help me with it, so I don’t have to worry about it after I come back and you’re long gone…"

"Right, yeah… will you help me tell Gabe tomorrow?"

"Of course!" she smiled and kissed his cheek "Good night, Pete. Best boss in the world…"

"Night Rach, best nanny in the world…"

She chuckled and left the living room, through the kitchen and out into the backyard, the light in her studio already switched on.

"Please tell me that everything is arranged?" Rachel asked as soon as she closed the door behind her.

"Everything done." Stuart replied and she looked around her room.

Her life fitted into 2 cardboard boxes, a suitcase and a backpack.

"That’s all?" she mumbled and her friend nodded "I can’t take the boxes with me…"

"I know… I put all your personal belongings, pictures, books and stuff like that in your suitcase… the boxes is stuff you won’t need anymore, also some clothes I don’t want to see you ever in again…"

"Ouch, thanks…" Rachel chuckled "When am I leaving?"

"Sunday morning."

Rachel looked out of the window, as the plane slowly made its way higher up into the sky. She looked back one last time at her home. She knew, would she ever return, it wouldn’t be by her free will, she would be forced. It meant they found her and she had to make sure that that would never happen. She leaned back, closing her eyes. She still felt her heart ache, thinking at Gabe’s tear stricken face, but she knew that what she did was right. In two days they would be gone as well. Far away from Boston. Gone. No one would know she ever worked for Peter Hastings. No one would ever bother them. No one would know she’s gone until next Friday.

And when they would try to figure out where she was, when they followed her trace, she’ll be long gone. All planned out by Stuart. Rachel didn’t know what would happen to her old life, she didn’t ask. She didn’t want to know. But one thing was for sure, as soon as she would land in Montreal the life of Rachel Lombardi would end.

Chapter 3 - Goodbye Rachel’s old life, this looks like the start of something new… I know I’m rushing a little through the timeline here with big time jumps, but this is all just backstory to prepare you and our characters for the main plot, so please, bear with me 😅

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

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Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@glitterquadricorn @lottalove4evelyn @janeh22 @itsjustkhaos

[morbidology]

It was shortly after 4AM the 4th of October, 2011, when the phone buzzed at the Kansas City, Missouri, 911 dispatch centre. The call was from a man named Jeremy Irwin, who reported he had returned home from work to find his ten-month-old baby daughter, Lisa Irwin, missing from her crib. His two sons were fast asleep, but Lisa was nowhere to be found.

Police responded to the family’s light-green ranch-style home in the northeast side of the city, and took statements from Lisa’s parents. According to her mother, Deborah Bradley, she had last seen Lisa when she put her to bed the night beforehand at 10:40PM when she put her into her crib.

Lisa’s father, Jeremy, told police he had come home from his late night shift as an electrician at about 4AM, shortly before he reported Lisa missing. As he entered the home, something immediately struck him as odd. Most of the lights were switched on, a window was open, and the front door was unlocked. After discovering that Lisa was missing, he also discovered that several cell phones were also missing.

Deborah later said: “They took her and took all of our phones so we couldn’t call anybody.” According to Jeremy and Deborah, it was three cell phones that had been stolen. Deborah recalled: “One wasn’t even working and was sitting up there next to the other ones. I was reprogramming all the numbers and all three of them were gone.”

By sunrise, more than 100 police officers had descended on the family home to begin in their search for Lisa. They scoured the deep woods behind her home, but there was no sign of Lisa or any evidence that could indicate what had happened to her. One theory that detectives considered almost immediately was that somebody had crept into the window and had taken Lisa. According to Capt. Steve Young: “Originally there was a window on the front of the house that appeared to be tampered with, that’s something they were looking at, but we’re not really sure if that’s the entry point or not.”

As the search continued, missing person reports were drafted up and printed. These described Lisa as standing at 30 inches tall and weighing between 26 and 30 pounds. She had blue eyes and blonde hair, and had two bottom teeth. When she went to bed the night before, she was dressed in purple shorts and a purple shirt with white kittens on it. The community came out in droves to help in the search for Lisa, even holding a vigil the night after she vanished.

Lisa’s disappearance dominated the local headlines, and it wasn’t long before a tip came in that appeared to be lucrative. According to a woman who lived in the same neighbourhood as the Irwin family, she had seen a man overnight carrying a baby up the street. While this tip was being investigated, another tip came in. According to a caller, they had seen a couple travelling with a baby who looked similar to Lisa. They were a middle-aged white couple driving an older model SUV at the Love’s Travel Stop at the intersection of Interstate 29 and U.S. Highway 169.

Lisa’s parents cooperated with detectives, and they appeared on national television to plead for their daughter’s safe return. They firmly believed that somebody had entered their home that night and had taken their daughter. “We just want out baby back. Please bring her home,” pleaded Deborah. Jeremy begged that if anybody knew anything, “even the smallest bit of information” to reach out to detectives.

However, in a bizarre twist, shortly after their appearance on television, Captain Steve Young announced that Deborah and Jeremy had stopped cooperating with them. “They live in the house. They intimately have information about what’s going on,” he said.6 Deborah and Jeremy responded by accusing the police of suspecting them in their daughter’s disappearance.....

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞:

[lets-try-some-writing]

The Grim Dark Archives: Transcript #002

[Transcript taken October 1st 2004 in response to a call to 911 from the phone of one of the five missing persons reported prior to the Autobots usage of holoforms. The caller was in a panic as she reported being closed in by four vehicles on the highway not far off from Texas.

Initially this call was not brought to government attention due to the commonality of false alarms usually amounting to drivers in the area seeing things. However upon looking over the details the caller gave, one of our agents brought the call to our attention and it says a great deal about the Autobots... hunting methods.

Transcript begins.]

══════════════════

(Talking Clock: September 25, 2004, 22:24:03) EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: 911, where is your emergency? CALLER: I-I'm driving. There is someone following me, a gang maybe? I don't know, but they are following me and have been for the past half hour. EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: Where are you Sir? CALLER: I'm on the Texas 49 road. I came out this way to get away from my family and to have some peace and quiet, but now there are people following me and there is nowhere for me to go! EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: I understand Sir. It will take us a while to get anyone out to you, but stay on the line. Can you describe where you are and what is happening? CALLER: Yeah, I can do that. T-There are two vehicles on either side of my car. One looks to be some sort or sports model, a yellow and black striped car. A-And the other is some sort of jeep, really dark green I think, but I can't see all that well in the dark. They haven't done anything, but their windows are tinted and I can't see who is driving. I've already tried getting away from them, but whenever I speed up, so do they! EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: Calm down Sir. Can you pick out their license plates? CALLER: NO! I've tried but they don't HAVE license plates! They are unregistered and I can't see any sort of stickers or anything that could identify them! I've been looking, I swear I've been looking but they won't leave-! EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: Sir, you need to stay calm. Tell me your name and exactly what is happening while we get some officers out in your direction. Can you do that? CALLER: Y-Yeah I can do that... My name is [REDACTED] from [REDACTED]. These cars seem like they are trying to lead me somewhere, I can't quite figure it out. They won't let me leave, and every time I try to swerve and get away, they speed up with me and get me back in my own lane! I don't know what they want! EMERGENCY DISTPATCHER 4: It will be alright Sir. Stay calm and stay with me. Officers are on their way. Just keep driving straight and try not to look panicked. Don't let them lead you anywhere, alright? CALLER: A-Alright, I can do this. Stay calm [REDACTED] stay calm... EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: That's right. Good job Sir. You are doing great. Officers should be there within- CALLER: No no no! There's another! Another vehicle! I-It's a motorcycle! Blue and pink I think! I-It's making strange sounds and it doesn't have a rider! ITS DRIVING ON ITS OWN-! EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: SIR! Remain calm! I need to you to describe what is going on. Stay on the line, officers are on the way. CALLER: THEY DON'T HAVE DIVERS! NONE OF THEM! I-I saw it, the yellow and black sports car, it rolled down its window and there was no one inside! They are getting closer! They are boxing me in, I can almost feel them scratching the paint on my car-! EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: It will be alright Sir! Try to speed up! See if you can get ahead of them! Officers will be there in ten minutes! CALLER: I'm trying I'm trying but they keep coming closer and speeding up-! I-I don't know what they want but they are so close! EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: Calm down, please calm down- CALLER: T-There's another! A big red semi! They are all around me and are pushing me toward this thing, I can't tell what it is! Its big and green and glows like some portal to hell-![Deafening screeches] EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: SIR! CAN YOU HEAR ME?! CALLER: I CAN'T LET THEM TAKE ME! I WON'T LET THEM! I'M GOING TO SWERVE INTO THE WOODS! THEY CAN'T GET ME THERE! [Hysterical screaming] EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: SIR NO! CALLER: [Various horns and beeps] LEAVE ME ALONE-! [Tearing metal and cracking wood] EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: HOLD ON! SIR! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?! SIR! CALLER: I-I its hurts... the... the vehicles... they ... they are changing. EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: Sir you are likely delirious, please hold on. You need to leave your vehicle and escape the wreck so that officers can get to you- CALLER: They... they are humanoid? I'm not lying, the cars, they just changed I can't explain it... No no no NO NO DON'T NO NO I DON'T WANT TO DIE HERE!

EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: SIR! SIR!

CALLER: [Distant screams and electronic noises]

EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: WE NEED OFFICERS ASAP-!

(Call ends 22:30:07)

══════════════════

[Transcript ends.

Officers arrived at the scene ten minutes after the call ended and discovered [Redacted03]'s vehicle wrecked on the side of the road, half crushed against the trees. Investigation proved that [Redacted03] could have easily survived the crash itself due to the airbag functioning, however her disappearance was regarded as a mystery until our agents were sent out to review the situation.

Her vehicle had its door completely torn off and there were huge almost finger like indents in the sides. Officers originally speculated that it could have been the work of perhaps a local predator, but our agents were quick to note the tracks in the ground that were quite clearly Cybertronian based off shape alone. Officers who were at the scene were paid for their silence and we gained greater insight into just how the Autobots... acquired their holoforms.

[Redacted] was not lying... I worry for how much more we are going to discover bit by bit because of these aliens.

Agent Witwicky signing off.

Recording end.]

[veranavera]

Tldr; My next trans-pride flag post will jump numbers from my previous post from peak 44 to peak 53. No I didn't forget a post, no you didn't miss one, and no I didn't lose my phone this time - I just reorganized the list of mountains I'm doing

For those of you who are curious about the details:

I reworked the current list of peaks I'm climbing to be a list of 131 of the P1k peaks in the Northern Appalachians. Because of this, some peaks that I climbed this summer that were previously additional peaks are now main peaks. The reason for the change is that I need to focus my efforts and make the 131 a realistic goal for me in my life right now, which is limited by time constraints (working), geographic constraints (living only in the Upper Valley), and life plans (not wanting to spend too much more time in the Northeast (currently thinking about staying through next August or so)). What changed is that now the list is a list of 131 of the P1ks in the region (i.e. nor an exhaustive list), as opposed to the previous cutoff of 1240ft, which was an odd choice in retrospect. The current iteration of the list can be found here:

https://www.peakbagger.com/List.aspx?lid=-948013&cid=39805

That being said, I don't view the current iteration of the list as any easier than the last, I just view it as more realistic for me given that the next time I'm living in my van, I'll almost certainly go to another region and won't want linger in NY/NE for long. What this means is that I'll have a very limited time window after I'm done working to hike more in the Northeast. Meanwhile, while I'm working, I'm simply unwilling to consistently drive 6+ hours each weekend to go bag a peak in Maine or the Catskills that isn't that much more prominent than a peak in NH/VT. Make no mistake, I'm still going to be putting *a lot* of effort into these peaks - this change just makes it so that that effort is as focused and fruitful as it can be

The peaks that have been retroactively added to the main list that I've already done are:

6/131 - West Kill - July 14

20/131 - Bald - July 28

22/131 - Western - July 28

23/131 - Ragged - July 29

24/131 - Megunticook - July 29

**update 2024-04-16**

30/131 - Azure - August 7

**update over lmao**

40/131 - Sugarloaf - August 23

41/131 - Mars Hill - August 24

50/131 - Peak 2620 - October 28

The photos of these peaks I've already posted here, but if you want to see them, feel free to check out my google drive of photos:

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1xlSe-BeaVVTCi7SD-xil3wXzDJ8zjHUs

Thanks for reading this far :P

[thatscarletflycatcher]

A starter guide on Ubuntu-Linux, from a non-techie to other non-techies

Preamble (a.k.a. the story/rant before the recipe, feel free to skip or not as you wish)

Several years ago, I got a laptop for college purposes; it ran on Windows 10 with decent reliability for a few years, but then it started getting slower and slower, the bloatware (programs and apps that companies pre-install in your devices that you cannot remove) was just tremendously bothersome, my computer would start updating all of a sudden and be at it for hours, etc, etc.

And so my dad suggested I switched to Ubuntu (he had been using it for a few years himself at that point), and... I'm not going to lie to you. I was scared. Was it going to be too different? Wouldn't it require far more computer knowledge than what I already had? Wouldn't the learning curve be too steep? Wouldn't I be unable to do a lot of the stuff I used to do?

Years later my answer is: I don't miss Windows. The learning curve wasn't nearly as steep as I thought it would be. I got acclimated to the system within a couple weeks. There are parts of Ubuntu itself that aren't that up to date (mainly stuff about medium-advanced audio management, streaming through Discord, and semi-pro to pro levels of photo processing), but I have managed to work around most of it with little difficulty (the image processor I use for making gifsets is proprietary sofware --the code of it is not open for transformation by third parties-- but I can work with it mostly fine through a tool called Wine). If what you do with your computer is mainly internet surfing, document writing, listening to music and playing videos (and similar basic stuff) you are unlikely to have any problems working with Ubuntu. But the best, best, best part of it for me? No bloatware. No 8256754 attempts at getting my personal information or tracking me. My computer is fast, as fast as it was when I first got it (the couple times it broke in the last two years had nothing to do with software: it was first the hard drive, and then the fan). No computer deciding to update and leave me waiting whenever it wants. And honestly, that makes every little inconvenience I have faced in Ubuntu worth it, very much worth it.

Linux has a problem

And it is that a loud section of its userbase is made up by techies who have a very unrealistic notion about how much the average person knows about computers.

A few months ago there was a post making the rounds, where OP explained that you can put ubuntu in a pen drive and carry it with you (yes, it is possible and relatively easy to do) and there was a bunch of people in the notes explaining how much better it is to pick Linux Mint, or use a raspberri pi, as if people who don't know you can carry Ubuntu in a pen drive could understand what they are talking about.

My goal with this post is to explain some of the very basics in an accessible language. I will probably use inacurate and generalized language in it for the sake of explaining simply, and will focus on Ubuntu because it is what I know. If you are a Linux fan who loves Linux Mint or whichever other, go ahead and make your own post.

Definitions, yada, yada

So, what is Linux? in plain terms, it is an operating system (Windows and Mac are operating systems) with several variations called distributions. Think of it as Linux being like a family, and the distributions being the members of the family. Some """famous""" members of the Linux family are Ubuntu, Debian, and Red Hat. One of the main distinctive characteristics of Linux distributions at the basic level is that they are free software: it can be used, modified, and redistributed under certain conditions, by everyone.

Where do you get Ubuntu, and how to install it?

You go to www.ubuntu.com/download/desktop. There you will see two items: the first one is a "LTS" (long term support) and the other isn't. What is the difference?

Ubuntu releases a new version every six months, one in april and one in october. So, for example, the version released in april this year is Ubuntu 22.04, also named Jammy Jellyfish, and the one released in october, Ubuntu 22.10 is called Kinetic Kudu. Every two years, in april, a LTS version is released. Jammy Jellyfish is a LTS release. That means it has a 10 years stay, and is a stable, well tested and tweaked release.

What I'm saying here is, get the LTS release.

When you click download, you will see an ISO file of about 4gb. Save it to your hard drive, and get yourself a 4gb or bigger pen drive that is empty and you don't mean to use for anything else.

To install Ubuntu in that pen drive, follow the instructions here. They are short and simple, and the whole process shouldn't take more than half an hour (probably around 15-20 minutes).

Now that you are in possession of Ubuntu-on-a-stick, you can go ahead and reboot your pc, with the stick still connected. Usually the computer itself will recognize the system and open it, or ask you between the two options of system. This is not installing Ubuntu yet, but you need to be careful.

Next it will show you a menu with two options: to install Ubuntu, or to try it out. DO NOT CLICK ON INSTALL UBUNTU IF YOU STILL HAVE UNBACKED STUFF OR ARE UNSURE YOU WANT UBUNTU YET. It will format your hard drive and all of that will be lost. The try option, on the other hand, works from the stick and does not format your hard drive.

Try Ubuntu will allow you to see how the basic system would look upon installation, and it will also be what you'd use if you were carrying Ubuntu on a stick to use in other computers. You cannot really modify much there, but if you choose to install the system, it is very, very, very customizable. You can tweak it and add and change the position of menus, clock, desktop icons (At first I thought you couldn't have those because they don't appear there by default! But you can! You just need to add them yourself).

To install Ubuntu on your computer, follow the instructions here. The process, again, is described short and simple, it doesn't take long, and the thing itself guides you step by step.

It is possible to make a disk partition, and have Windows in one part of the hard drive, and Ubuntu on the other. I myself have never done this and don't know how it is done. But if you want to try that, there are many tutorials on the internet about how to do it, I just don't have a specific one to recommend.

A couple more things

Once your new system is up and running, and you are customizing it, there are a couple basic things to know that are helpful:

Between the programs that come with the system, there's one called terminal. Terminal allows you to write direct commands to your computer. For example, instead of opening a program from its icon, you can type the name of the program (for example, "VLC") in terminal, and it will open it.

Similarly, you have two ways to install programs: one, like windows, by downloading the package and opening it with double click, the other by writing in the terminal "sudo apt-get install [name of package]". Some packages will already be in the cloud in what is called repositories, and just by typing "sudo apt-get install [name of program]" terminal will download and install it for you.

Like Windows, Ubuntu will give you messages about updates being available; unlike windows, you can install those whenever you want, and they run on the background (you can use your pc while it updates).

Alternatively you can just update your computer whenever you want by opening terminal and writing "sudo apt update" and then "sudo apt upgrade". I myself do that every day.

There are a few programs like get-iplayer (to get stuff from BBC Sounds) and youtube-dl (to get stuff from YT) that work in terminal only.

Terminal is very cool and if you are like me it will make you feel like a hacker in a 90s spy movie.

www.askubuntu.com is a forum that has answers for everything you might face as a problem or challenge while using Ubuntu. It is great.

If you do give Ubuntu a try and have any relatively basic questions I can answer about it, feel free to shoot an ask or message me, and I will help if I can!

[awkward-tension-art]

Remain By His Side Chp.8 Silent

Chp. 7 Chp.9

Leon has come home from training.

warnings: mutual pining, Leon needs a hug, Reader needs a hug, They both don't act on their feelings, self-loathing, grief, mourning, brief mention of dead sibling/family members

It was a year after Raccoon City's destruction. 

October 1st, 1999

Your medical school was having a candlelight vigil for the lives lost. The loss of 100,000 lives was a permanent scar on American history, and people would mourn on anniversary for years to come.

The president had resigned months ago after a disastrous press conference. Umbrella Corporation was being held liable for the city’s collapse. The trials were in the prep phase, and it’ll take years for victims to be given any sort of closure or payback.

Publicly, the US government had no part in the disaster. But seeing Leon and what you could gather from him…

The government had blood on its hands. Even more blood on its hand.

You looked down at the candle in your hands. Some people were talking quietly, but others remained in solemn silence. 

Through it, you thought of your brother. Your aunt. Your uncle. Sherry’s innocence.

And Leon. 

You didn’t know who to cry for. The grief was heavy in your chest and the loss was suffocating.

Someone stepped up next to you. In response, you looked up to give an acknowledging nod. However, you froze, eyes widening. 

“Hey,” Leon greeted with a whisper.

Your smile was warm and genuine, “Hey.”

Your heart soared. He was more built than you last saw him. His hair was longer. He also looked tired. So…so tired. 

“Missed you,” you murmured. Not wanting to be disruptive to those around you, you grabbed his arm and made your way past other mourners. Once you were a few paces away, your arms wrapped around him tightly. 

“Missed you too.” He said, wrapping one arm around you. In the other, he was holding your candle. 

Jesus, his chest felt like a brick wall. You pulled back and looked at him, keeping your small smile, “Want to stay the entire time or do you want to go home?” 

“Home sounds nice,” he shrugged, “Plus, I need to hold Mocha.” 

You snorted, “come on.” 

On the walk back to your car and the subsequent drive to your apartment, you filled Leon in on everything you didn’t include in your letters. He didn’t chime in much, only really listened. However, his eyes remained on his window, watching the world pass by. 

“How long are you here?” You asked him once the car was parked, “a week?” 

“I got a month.” he said, “Then I gotta go back to finish training.” 

“Well, yay.” you nodded, feeling elated that he was staying for much longer. 

Once back in your home, you were immediately with the loud and light meows of your cat. The calico was chirping and trilling as she rubbed her face on Leons leg. She was only pleased when he picked her up in his arms. 

“Missed you too,” He mumbled, petting behind her ear. 

You laughed, “Welcome home.”

“God, it's good to be back.” the former rookie took a deep breath. 

Leon looked weary. Despite only having training, he seemed battleworn. He’s aged way beyond his years. 

Trauma will do that to you… you thought.

You wanted to hold his face, let him know that you were there for him. You’ve accepted shortly after he left that your care for him was beyond just platonic or familial. They blossomed into affection. 

Even if Leon returned your feelings, there was no way a relationship would work under your lives right now.

you both were deeply hurt. Deeply traumatized.

Leon more so than you. 

No, he was in control. Whatever he wanted to do, you’d support him. You’d swallow your feelings, give him all the cards.

He deserved it. To have some semblance of control in his life.

Which is how the both of you ended up sitting on the balcony eating takeout and talking. Leon had just showered and you had a blanket draped over your shoulders. He was listening to you prattle on about some of your classes and research. After you were finished, he asked you one question. 

“Why?” 

“Hm?” You perked up, looking at him, “Why what?”

“Why do you want to do all…this?” He asked, “be a doctor and research?”

You hummed and looked up, “I want to help people.” You responded honestly. Maybe you were naive. Too optimistic. But it's what you wanted to do.

Little did you know you reminded Leon of him, before Raccoon City. before the pain, loss and grief.

He loved that part of you. As well as your smile. Your eyes. Your laugh. 

Leon loved you.

He thought of you, even during training. Even when Krauser beat the shit out of him. Even when the other soldiers gave him a hard time. 

But especially when the bullet wound in his shoulder would become irritated. The chronic pain would flare sometimes from the shot and he would imagine you soothing him and making him feel better. 

As you talked to him about everything he’s missed at training, he couldn’t help but look into your eyes. How they lit up as you chatted about your passion. 

Leon found himself like that the entire time you were on the balcony. His feelings were accompanied by a longing in his chest. A deep desire to hold you, kiss you and love you. 

He couldn’t. He was going to be a government weapon. His freedom was destroyed the moment the army found him and Sherry.

But you? You could be whatever you wanted to be. You had your freedom. Your optimism. Your hope for the future. 

Leon couldn’t take that away from you. He was already selfish enough by remaining in your life. By becoming a part of your family.

So he’d remain silent and keep his heart closed.

[leslie057]

9a + 9b please 🙏

hello! thank you for the lovely combo

prompt game posted here

9a + 9b = call me lover + but one is pouting

word count: 3.7k

It isn’t right that she’s sad today, even less right that she’s playing up the sad, and that in doing this she hopes to work guilt into every part of him, like water into clay, like honey into comb.

Given their extra-special circumstances, she knows she shouldn’t be anything more than mildly annoyed with him about his inability to pronounce girlfriend. And that has to be the issue, pronunciation, because why else would he shy away from such an innocent word? There’s no reasonable excuse. It’s an easy statement to make: look, my girlfriend’s here. He can do it, with the same ease that he labels everything else of his, he can do it. It’s my camera, my spatula, my turn to drive, my shirt not yours and you can’t have it…all his, until she’s involved. No, they don’t own each other. But sometimes you have to lay claim to things in life.

You just have to.

He paints houses. Every day in West Somerville he does, from nine to dinnertime. Watertown and Brookline, too. But mainly Somerville, especially Winter Hill. Interior, exterior, deck, door, and drywall. Expensive houses, cheap houses, new and old houses, houses with picket fences. It’s just what Emerson is looking for, a teenage boy who really knows his way around a…picket fence?

But the gap year thing is okay, and he’s still here with her as she navigates everything, even if he didn’t want to apply for college until it was way too late. He can apply for next year.

He moved away, far away just for her, no college waiting for him at the end of the journey, willing and able to be the slow tagalong Somerville boy to her busy Boston girl. And they get to live together. Harmony of opposites applies, as it always has. His loyalty means the world, and for what it’s worth, he is the best rated decorator Lovell Painting’s ever had. Very committed to the job.

But now Mr. Lovell doesn’t know she’s his harmonious opposite, doesn’t know she’s the girl he’s bringing home the bread to (not a lot of bread, but so much more than you’d expect someone to get for slinging paint) (then again, there’s probably no slinging involved, because Jonathan clearly believes there is an art to the task) (he has a weird way of leaning into unbeaten paths, finding purpose in hushed, forgettable places) (it’s lovable, is what it is, when she manages to push away the feeling that he’s missing out by not being in school).

No, Mr. Lovell doesn’t know who she is, because her boyfriend didn’t say. Couldn’t bring himself to say. Couldn’t bring himself to say the G word.

She’d asked Lauren from the student paper to take her to him after class. She missed him, plus she thought he shouldn’t be all alone on his way back home. He does plenty of lonely driving throughout the week. And since Lauren does everything for everyone, she actually said yes. Fifteen minutes later, Nancy was at a place she’d never been before. Here they were at the end of October, and she hadn’t been. She had no idea where her five star trades-boy turned in his paintbrush at the end of the day.

She’d wandered in, into the little white office that likely used to be a shed, all open windows and whirring box fans and latex fumes. On a stool, he filled out his timesheet. She gave him a hug around the neck from behind, avoiding the sensitive surface of his sunburned arms.

Made him jump, then made him relax.

“Sorry, I knew that would scare you. I’m not trespassing, am I?”

“No, you—no, not trespassing at all. What time is it?”

She tilted her head sideways and consulted her watch. “5:11,” she said. Tilted her head more, more, more, trying to kiss his jaw and its underside.

Hung over his shoulders like that, she took her first deep breath of the day. Tendrils of dried paint stretched across his shirt collar and sleeves, the kind of spiderweb splatters that don’t come out in the wash. She watched him jot down a couple light-handed notes in all capital letters. His name was everywhere on the page and highlighted in some instances, an indication of overtime work. She had felt weird then for being judgy—felt bad—thinking maybe there was a chance he was where he needed to be. Not school, right here. Humble, dependable, and first-rate.

Then Mr. Lovell came in.

And ruined everything.

“Jonathan, you heading out soon?”

“Oh, right now, actually. Turns out we can’t pick up anything until tomorrow morning. Like, anything at all, they said.”

“Yikes. Oh well, then.”

“Apparently our order got delayed because of the tight space rollers.”

“Hm. Tight space rollers, they never have them in, do they?”

“No, sir, never. They never ever have anything below a 6 inch.”

She stayed still, reading the room. Gauging the boss. Lovell didn’t seem to mind her or her public display of affection. He was a youngish man, son to the original Mr. Lovell of Lovell Painting, tall and nonchalant with the look of a relatable salesman.

“Hey. Jake Lovell,” he finally said to her. “Don’t think I’ve met you before, how’s it going?”

“Hey, good, thanks.” In the subsequent silence she waited. Waited for what was sure to come. Oh yeah, sorry, this is my girlfriend, Nancy. This is Nancy, we just moved in together. This is the girl I told you about, Nancy Wheeler. We’ve been dating for almost two years. She’s the best. Nancy is the best. Hey, guess what, my girlfriend Nancy once repainted her little sister’s dollhouse from top to bottom, think we should hire her next?

He kept his mouth shut.

“I’m Nancy,” she sighed.

“Oh, okay, you’re Nancy.”

Had he heard the name before? If he had, that must have been all he heard. His eyes were brimming with confusion.

“That’s me,” she said and untangled herself from her betrayer, the one she’d been draped over like some sleepy starfish.

Starfish didn’t want to cling anymore.

“She’s Nancy,” he’d mumbled while clearing off the desk.

The eldest in the room clocked the tension between them. “Well, you know it was nice to meet you, Nancy, but I’ve gotta get going. Be careful around the mess, you look very professional in those clothes.”

She slid her hands down the sides of her thighs, black slacks swishing above high heels.

“You look very…casual, Mr. Lovell. Guess we’ll see you later.”

And that was it.

And that was then. This is now: now, she is pouting. The most pathetic pouting session she's had to date. This is textbook manipulation pouting and then some, this is wallowing in the events of the afternoon like they involved theft, fraud, and murder.

Is she putting on a performance here? Yes, duh, of course she is. But is she down about what he said (and didn’t say) earlier? Also yes. That part is real. He did make her sad.

Yes.

Lucky for her, she’s got tricks in her bag.

Exactly four tricks, to be precise, for this type of situation. One, a shower—a shower taken earlier than usual. To get away and to get out of restrictive clothing (restrictive clothing doesn’t mix well with sadness). No more black slacks, no more newsgirl blouse. No jewelry either, it’s totally unnecessary. Unless…keep your necklace on, if you want, since that can be played with. Really you just have to remember that comfort is what works. Wet hair is what works. An XL shirt works, and peach soap works, and so does a frown, and so does a thick pair of socks, for whatever reason.

Two is a book. Not a short book, pick a long book. Flip to the beginning to read. Beginnings are hard to get through, and he knows it. He will empathize. Three, lack of light. The less light in the room, the better. Not only have you chosen to start a long book after 5pm without having even eaten dinner, you’ve chosen to do so without sufficient reading light. That’s true misery.

Four, the most important trick, is a bad record. Just awful. It needs to be scratched, it needs to skip. Needs to skip a lot. Your record should make other records worry about where they’ll be in ten years. Jonathan Byers doesn’t want this for you; if you are his favorite person, and listening to music is the best thing anyone can do, your tolerance of a broken record will rile him. You deserve better. He will want to compensate for all the hurt caused by your subpar listening experience.

“Nancy?” he says from the doorway.

“Mhm.”

“Good shower?”

“Sure. Good shower.”

“You beat me to it.”

It’s an understatement. Without a word, she had headed for the shower. Very first thing she did when they got to the apartment. She went to turn the water on, still wearing her shoes, and waited for it to get hot, and never once looked back.

She curls in on herself on the bed, avoiding his gaze. “Since when did you decide you have first dibs on everything?” she murmurs to her book. To Middlemarch.

“Uh, no, it's not that, I just meant that I’m…pretty paint-y, at the moment. You know?”

The response is delivered innocently, harmlessly, lightly, and she almost considers backing down, ditching the majority of her plan or maybe all of it. Almost considers, before deciding against. (She has to soldier on; his adorable use of a made-up word doesn’t fix a thing, now does it?)

“Right.”

“There’s so much primer on my hands, it’s the worst feeling in the world. It’s so bad. It’s like…it’s like if someone brushed plaster right onto my palm and then let it harden. Overnight.”

“Mhm.”

A break in the tense conversation comes and gives those background noise record screeches their moment to shine. Leaning on the doorframe, he winces.

“So,” she shifts her body until the blanket slips, “did you need something, or…”

Their eyes meet. His are sleepy–his are suddenly charged with doubt, two dark wells of worry.

“No, nothing, I don’t…it…it seems like you might be the one that needs something?”

She huffs. It seems like she needs something? For that she won’t go easy on him. A fake cry might cross her mind, if she were a psychopath, but fortunately for both of them she’s not. Sincere regret is already cocooning her, compacting itself with each passing minute, a dense shroud of claustrophobic ickiness. Not always as fun as you’d plan for: guilt tripping someone who’s hopelessly devoted. Really, how hard is it to have a mature conversation about the way you feel neglected in this one marginal area of the relationship, even though you’re well taken care of in all the others. Very hard, it turns out. Very very hard.

And besides, this is how the Jonathan and Nancy network operates. She uses her upset to make weird power moves. He lies about his upset altogether. The system is what it is.

“If you care so much, figure it out yourself.” It’s a feeble whisper, accessorized with the twitch of her bottom lip and an arbitrary sniffle. She flips over to the eighth page of Middlemarch. Pulls her blanket back up over her waist. The leftover scent of her body wash is strong, so strong, even in her own nose. It’s like peach sorbet and paint thinner had a baby in their bedroom.

“Nancy…”

His voice has that deconstructed softness in it, gentle yet desperate, which is highly familiar. He uses it constantly. That’s the trick in his bag, but she’s not quite sure he knows it’s a trick. Because of it, the whole stay-mad-at-him project isn’t gonna be smooth sailing. She swallows hard, necklace pendant between her fingers.

“Hey, what happened?” He steps closer to the bed and uncrosses his arms. “This isn’t…it isn’t about Lauren, right?”

Oh, wow. Okay. Clueless.

“Because you really do ask her for a lot of favors, and I know she’s always happy to do them, but just…maybe don’t make her drive out there again. Not when I’m literally clocking out.”

“Oh…” She closes her book and fixes her eyes on the window. That one actually does make her want to cry.

“No, don’t,” he pleads, “don’t do the sad oh thing. You’re gonna make me sad. You’re gonna break me.”

The sigh that escapes her is fully authentic in its lethargy. Her fingertips play over the pillow under her head and its silky case. “Sorry, it’s just that now you think I take advantage of Lauren and you don’t like to see me at work, so.”

“No, I love to see you, I had no idea you would come after class just for that. It was really nice.”

“Yeah, so nice—”

“Until you ignored me in the car, yes!”

Hugging her own waist, she draws up her knees. God, that record…it should be physically impossible for ABBA to ever sound bad but this is pushing it. How truly depressing.

She imagines that the invisible thread connecting his heart to hers is starting to fray at this point; those grating sounds in his ears, the mix of chemicals on his skin, the intentionally seductive nature of her pity party, the annoying flicker of the lamp in the corner (only thing the previous tenants left behind when they moved, the sole forgotten object). All of it must be torturing him.

He picks up her book off the mattress, leaves it in the windowsill to—sunbathe? Who knows, honestly.

"Look,” he says, “I think we might need to take a second before we get into this. Do you want me to leave you alone for a minute? Would that help, or no?”

Apprehensively he reaches down, down to touch her shoulder, sort of…petting her, a few times. What you’d do if you found a wild jaguar in your backyard, but it was a really sweet looking jaguar.

When she doesn’t bite, he bravely makes eye contact with her. “You just have to tell me what you want, that’s all I need.”

(Such a good boyfriend when he’s trying. Holy shit.)

Fearful that the affection wave will show on her face, she flips over, switching sides. “Want you to lay down,” she mumbles.

Well that wasn’t part of the plan.

She listens for his reaction. A deep breath in, a deep breath out. “I’m filthy, you do realize that.”

“We’ve gone to bed wearing monster blood…”

He shrugs his jacket off.

(So, the summer had been a violent ride. Summer of ‘86, filed away in her brain with the rest of her nightmare inventory forever. All’s said and done now. Maybe they’re finally safe. God, please.)

It takes them a sec to get settled, but he hems her in, wraps her up, holds her close without any further begging. It’s crazy satisfying. Plaster-rough hand curls around her ribs under her shirt, and his nose brushes her neck. Antsy, she shuffles her feet together, scrunched socks keeping her warm.

“You genuinely—”

“Smell so good?” she predicts.

“Yeah.”

“New soap.”

“Ten out of ten.”

“Well, you know, it’s not formaldehyde, but what is?”

“Give me some slack,” he murmurs, “not my fault all my passions involve chemicals.”

Painting houses is his passion now? Alright, good to know. It’s that, developing photos, and being so much of a dummy he forgets to introduce his girlfriend to his boss when they first meet.

Again: exactly the kind of boy Emerson is looking for.

A minute later he’s kissing her neck.

Yeah, not sure how that happened.

After taking his first few tastes, he quickly stops himself. “Wait, can I do this?” he wonders aloud.

“I’ll let you decide. Do you think you should be doing that?”

“I don’t know. On the one hand,” he places a soft kiss at the base of her throat, “I still haven’t figured out what’s going on with you.”

Her eyelids flutter. “And on the other?”

Mouth barely open, he drags the tip of his tongue across her collarbone in one slow slide. “On the other I think—”

She fails to repress a squeaky whimper, which makes him falter.

“…that doing this could maybe, just maybe, help me get information out of you.”

She’s lost her breath so fast. “Decisions, decisions,” she manages to get out.

Second option wins him over. Next he’s tangling up his hand in her wet hair, kissing her neck like there really is peach sorbet to be found in her pores. He hums while getting acclimated to the malleability of her damp skin, impossibly supple malleability, and lingers with his mouth at her pulse point before giving in and sucking on it, not hard enough to make a bruise, but enough to make blood rush to her head.

She grabs the back of his neck in an attempt to stay anchored and from there he surrenders, from there he lets her force the path that his lips map out on her. Chapped but sticky with spit, they part and purse on her jaw, softly massaging the bone.

“Please can we get you a new album soon,” he whispers, “this is painful.”

“Hm?”

“The record’s a disaster, throw it away.”

“Don’t tell me to throw my things away,” she slurs weakly.

Her thigh catches his hip, and she bucks a little, rocks a little. Nothing crazy, just dirty. She can’t help herself.

“Tell me what upset my girlfriend and I won’t say anything ever again for the rest of my life.”

-

There it is. Jesus, it’s what she wanted. See, there’s no pronunciation issue after all. Girlfriend. His girlfriend.

She goes perfectly still. He may not realize she’s all shook up inside, but he notices the outward change, that’s for sure.

Time to get into it.

She takes a moment to prepare herself. “Are you ready to listen?”

“I’ve been ready, Nance.”

“Okay. It wasn’t about Lauren,” she spills, “Lauren and I are fine. We didn’t have a fight, we’ve never had a fight, and after she dropped me off today she told me she likes the drive to Middlesex because the roads are so smooth and driving calms her down and she gets sick of being in Boston, and I promise I’m not lying when I tell you this, but she offered to take me again tomorrow, I swear to you she did.”

“Okay, I believe you—”

“Though now I’m thinking I don’t even want to take her up on the offer, because me being there was clearly an unwanted change that didn’t exactly mean anything to anyone, and if you seriously don’t know what made me switch up today I need you to ask yourself how you think my conversation with your manager made me feel earlier.”

“You’re upset because of…something Mr. Lovell said?”

He’s so lost.

“No, because of what you said.”

“And what did I say?”

“It’s what you didn’t say. Jonathan, you didn’t tell him who I was. You didn’t introduce me at all.”

“I’m—sorry, you…you introduced yourself, why would I need to—”

“He doesn’t know you’re dating me.”

“But he does? It’s kind of obvious, isn’t it? Without words?”

“No! Not without words. For all he knows I’m some random girl you met on the street, next thing you know he’ll be setting you up on dates with his niece and scheduling you to work Valentine’s Day. You’re supposed to be upfront about us and you never, ever are. Why aren’t you?”

His turn to pout now. He rests his head on her shoulder. “I don’t know? Sometimes it feels like…”

The gears in his brain go on and on, and his blush deepens. “Like fishing for attention.”

“Well that’s why I’m sad, you’re why I’m sad. You don’t want attention, so you don’t call me your girlfriend. Maybe once a month, if that. You don’t call me your girlfriend a lot and I love when you call me your girlfriend. There’s nothing unclear about a word like that."

“I…can do better, I didn’t know it was a big deal to you. That I say it more.”

“Duh, I don’t wanna feel invisible. I want you to talk about me.”

Her heart pounds with the energy of the moment, with surfacing reminders of how different they are. The silence expands around them, his breathing shallow. This is really the first time it’s dawning on him, the depth of her need for validation? Maybe she forgot that acknowledgment of their relationship outside their private bubble is not something he would go for without being asked. Maybe she forgot.

"So it’s not the word,” he says, “it’s telling people?”

“I like privacy, I do, but what’s between us needs to be something others can see. Something they don’t have to guess on.”

Yeah, keeping their peers guessing in high school was good. Low-key meant less harassment, fewer problems. Having said that, high school is gone forever.

He nods. “I get it. I'll get it, eventually. I’ll try.”

“Okay. Good. Thank you.”

Though the conflict isn’t totally resolved, it kind of feels resolved for tonight. At least that’s what her hormones want her to go with, shifting back and forth, this way and that, residing on the rockiest of tectonic plates that have been calibrated to him for longer than he knows. As strange as her first two months of college have been, as many messes as they’re making in their relationship, she has infinite confidence in the Jonathan and Nancy network. All things considered, this is the right time to be messy, they’ll have plenty of room to clean up the love when they’ve grown up. Fighting isn’t fun but…it feels amazing to know he’s in this with her, wading out to her in the swell of their mature immaturity, sticking up for young love even after their conflict resolution turns chaotic.

He loves her, and whenever she’s blue, he begs her to let him fix it. Neither of them rest easy until the blue gets painted over.

“Hey, girlfriend?”

She breathes out a laugh. “What?”

“Since we’re sharing…”

She tilts her head back, pushes her nose against his gently. “Careful, don’t say something you shouldn’t.”

“I really like it when you use your revenge soap against me. Very evil, but I like it.”

[pbandjesse]

I am so ridiculously sore today it's a risky shocking. If I move carefully it doesn't hurt so bad but if I move to fast it startles me I hurt so bad. I desperately want to go lay down now. We are on our way home and I'm hoping to finish writing fast so I can go to sleep. I am exhausted.

Today was actually pretty good even if I was hurting. I didn't sleep amazing but a lot of that was the soreness I'm sure. James had already left for work and I stayed in bed for a long time. I was both tired and sore and unhappy about it. But I thought I just had to push through it so I could go work on the house.

I'm getting spoiled with how nice and warm and comfortable the house is. I don't want to be in the apartment because it's a mess and it's freezing. When I leave our bedroom I just feel really stressed because everything is is disarray from packing.

So to get over there quicker I just focused I'm getting dressed. I would wear layers so I could just paint in my leggings and tank top. I pet Sweetp and grabbed a few bags from the studio and I headed out.

When I got to the house first thing I did was get the snow and ice off of the stairs. I fell once, I don't want to call again. It took some muscle but I got it done and started bringing things inside.

James had put a few totesbags of books in the car and it is always really surprising how heavy books are. But I did my best to just power through and for eveything inside.

Doing all that heavy lifting made me really hot and I stripped off the layers and got to work.

First thing I did was go through my beanie babies to figure out what months I was missing. April, October, November. So close to the complete set. After I finished that I headed upstairs.

It was good to see how the paint dries in the bathroom. And I jumped right in doing touchups and then rolling out over my brushwork so the texture carries through. And it was great. I had a podcast going and I was having a great time.

And once I was done I still had energy and decided to start taping out the bedroom. Going all around the windows and the baseboards. I was really pleased with myself. But then right before I finished I ran out of tape!! Rude! I ended up just stealing some tape from where I had mapped out the bed.

But then I got really disappointed with the blue I got. It came out way more teal in that room then I expected and I really didn't like it. I wanted a darker blue.

I thought I would still edge everything thought. The thought being that when I get the right paint it'll make the edges quicker be ause you won't have to go over white? I am not sure that actually makes sense but I didn't and it was fun. It made me feel productive.

Around 1230 I finished all the edges and cleaned up. And realized I had not eaten. I was going to target to get cat food and I thought it would be nice to go to value village so i decided on Glen Burnie.

It's only about 4 minutes longer to get there from the new place. I have discovered I have to drive downtown a lot more to get to the highway but it's fine. I'll get used to not using MLK for eveything. It will just take time.

I had to run back in the house when I forgot my cup but that was just fine. And then I was off. Starving but knowing food was no far away.

When I got to Taco Bell I got to hear all the drama around the ice in the parking lot. Apparently upper management didn't pay for the person who was supposed to cover the whole shopping center and so everywhere else was done but not their lot and they couldn't bring anyone else over and it was a whole thing. But they made my tacos good so we were fine and it took a while for the food to make me feel better but eventually I didn't feel so weak anymore.

I went over to value village next. As I was getting there mom called me by accident and we ended up having a really nice chat about the paint colors in the house and it was just nice hearing her voice. I looked at the books while we chatted and found another Dear America that I didn't have. It seems thicker then the others? Strange but I'm happy to have found one I didn't have. The only other one I found I already own. It was a good one too. About a girl who is kidnapped and writes the journal while kidnapped. But I do not need two of the same book.

After I got off the phone I had a few more good finds. A screen for the window. A little shelf shaped like a stair case. A self healing cutting board. Love those for the studio and my one is getting really warped. It will be lovely to have a new one.

I paid and headed down the street to target. This was where my body aches really made me suffer. I was only there for a few things. Cat food. Lemonade. Lotion. I used the last of the vanilla shea butter I have been using this month. But carrying the case of cat food without a cart (there were no carts at all??) Was really really hard on me. I held it but it really hurt my arms.

I was basically ready to be done but I realized I was really close to Home Depot. And I would want to get back into painting tomorrow without having to venture out into the world. So I sucked it up and went and got my paint. And this much darker navy blue is much closer to the original vision. The girl at the counter was nice and I liked that I got to see it shake the paint this time. The paint did spill on her though and I was very apologetic but she said it was just fine. I got a different brand this time too. So it will be interesting to compare.

One very last stop at the pet store for the dechlorination liquid I use for my fishtanks and this was when my tiredness but me so hard I didn't even go look at anh of the animals. I needed to go home.

I was about 20 minutes from home and I just kept telling myself in 30 minutes you will be in bed. And I swear that's all that got me home. I was feeling miserable. All my body pain hit me at once. My eyes were so tired. I was struggling.

But I made it home and got comfortable. I put some stuff away. And refilled my lotions for Disney. And then I laid down with sweetp. Who wouldn't stop licking my hands and face. Goofy. I did not sleep though. Instead just watching videos. Until James came home.

James was also exhausted. They had shoveled the parking lot at the museum and got blisters on their hands. And it was just a really long day for them. They looked so tired. But they washed their face and came and laid with me. We talked about our days and the evening plans. Which were for them to go get quarters for laundry and then we would go have dinner with the Fulwilers at 7.

And that's just what we did. While James was gone I got redressed and cut my cuticles. And when they got back we got ready to go.

And dinner was lovely. We went to a fancy Indian restaurant inside the Ambassador Hotel. James accidently took us in the apartment side and we had to get buzzed in which was pretty funny. But this place was absolutely beautiful. Great architecture and details and I had a lovely time.

Charlotte and Callie were there too and it was a really fun evening. Telling stories about travel. Talking about the house. Anne and Tucker are going to come by tomorrow afternoon to see it. I'm happy they are showing some amount of excitement because I didn't think they were excited at all and it made me a little sad. But they were more happy for us today and that felt good.

And it was just how to celebrate Anne's birthday. I gave her a January birthday bear and she said it was so cute and I'm glad I picked the hat one because she said she liked it better then the clown one so I did good. Amazing.

The food was nice and I ate a lot of naan. And I just really enjoyed the company. And they even brought Anne a little chocolate cake for her birthday at the end. Which we all shared.

Because once we got back to their house we had grasshopper pie. Which was much more cream jello consistency but I actually really liked that. There was a lot of sports talk and southern housewife in the 1950s discussion about the history of the chiffon pie. And it was fun even if I was still so tired.

We would leave there after 9. James told me I looked so cute but I swear I was waddling because moving my arms was hurting me. I will take an aspirin or something ASAP.

We are home now though and I am ready to take a shower and go to bed. I hope I can fall asleep quick. Tomorrow is a busy day.

The plan is to move more and paint and just continue the moving process. And I'm thrilled I am but I really need a good night's sleep.

So fi gets crossed. I love you all. Goodnight!!

[a-heart-thats-healing]

Wow. I went on a “one hour” date yesterday (Saturday, October 21st, 2023) at 5 PM that lasted until 4:22 AM 😅. She was everything that I would want in a partner. Extremely cute, attractive, wise, witty, and she’s good with the quick remarks.

I'm going to call her Songbird due to the fact that she loves singing. She is still on my mind this morning in bed. I’m missing church because I’m so tired after getting about 3-4 hours of sleep.

This woman was unbelievable. She’s Filipino and just an absolute dime. Same age as me and someone I would be dreaming of. Before getting to any of the enticing parts about the date, this woman was driving me wild. Dark hair, dark eyes, voluptuous, soft features, and looks to die for. Personality is right on par with mine. We match each other’s personality very, very well.

Let’s get to the date. On my way to the date, I turned around because I didn’t like my shirt. I got there at 3:30 PM because we semi-agreed to that time. I wrote to her to let her know I had gotten there, but she was still at a bridal shower. I figured that would happen, so I just sat in my car listening to videos. When she did arrive she yelled “HEY” to get my attention since I was waiting for her to come from the side I walked from. But goodness, did she look irresistible the moment that I saw her in her dress.

We just talked and talked and talked for hours outside of Starbucks in downtown [Redacted] where I’m from. I told her about myself, she told me about herself, I couldn’t shut up, but I was cohesive with my wording. We talked about so many different threads and had to return to the different topics multiple times. We ended up walking around the downtown area after Starbucks closed. She was being really cute talking about the random figurines in the window of the shops. There was a moment that we both saw a hippo figurine and she said "I respect hippos" and all I could say is "Yeah, me too" 😂.

At some point, we kept going along the sidewalk until we crossed the street. It must've been 7 PM at this point. I noticed as we crossed the street, there was a soap shop that I really liked, so I said we should stop inside. We took a picture with a Buddy the Elf cut out standing in the front of the store. Then she found some Christmas glasses and put them on. Of COURSE I had to take a picture. You know, just in case she ends up being The One so that I can tease her about the photo. At some point, I saw a "Boyfriend" scented soap bar, so I held it up to her nose and asked if it "smells like your future" 😂. She didn't get the joke until I showed her the name of the soap. I asked her about trying it out, but she said she was "sensitive."

After the fun talks we had in in the soap shop, we went out to talk on some chairs. I thought let's sit down on the rocking chairs, obvi, because who doesn't like getting their rocks off 😂. Instead, she recommended we sit on the two-person love seat. We ended up siting there for THREE hours just discussing some of the funniest things. At one point during that timeframe though, I had a feeling that now was the time that I should ask for a kiss. I struck up the courage and THEN... I bitched out and asked some other question that I can't remember like "do you think you'll want a boyfriend with the move?" or something along those lines. But! After she had laughed about it, I really mustered up the courage to ask her for a kiss. She looked SO bebwildered about it! Like, "Did he really just ask for consent to kiss me?"

After that kiss though, AY was it muy caliente. You could tell just by looking at us that there was a LOT of sexual tension in the air between us. We did behave, especially since we were out in public in a moderately sized city, but if you saw the kind of eye contact we had while speaking to each other after that kiss, you'd know the amount of desire that was there. We were pining for one another, getting closer and closer until we were essentially sitting close enough for a third person on our two-person love seat.

At some point, we decided it was too late to stay on the love seat any longer after sat for about 3+ hours there. I told her I had to take her to her car so that her father who was down here packing up her apartment wasn't worried. Changing locations did NOT affect us separating from one another lol. We got to my car and then I opened the car doors and moved the seats forward. I won't discuss it fully, but there was a lot of teasing and making out in the car to the point that the windows fogged up 🥵🥵🥵. We both agreed that we shouldn't have sex. As much as we both desired each other, we're both so happy that we didn't that night. There was more that transpired, but I won't discuss those things.

It was now about 2 AM and she had been texted/called by her parents multiple times. She was running out of things to say, so thought "Oh, tell your dad you'll get him tacos from Taco Bell!" Her dad wasn't upset or mad and instantly shot back a text for two tacos 😂. Google showed that there was a Taco Bell open until 4 AM. I had bought us some time and we... uh... got back to kissing and caressing each other 😅. Then, about 3:10 AM, I finally walked her to her car 15 feet away so that we could drive in our cars to the Taco Bell we found.

This was the CUTEST part of the night with her. I'm not sure what caused it, but she let's out "Love you, bye!" as I'm walking back to my vehicle. I'm in the car smiling, getting seated, and playing my "...and just like that, I'm in love" playlist on Amazon music. As soon as I roll down my window -- because I can't get enough interactions with her -- she says something about accidentally slipping that phrase into the conversation. I play it cool so that she doesn't feel embarrassed as I'm playing love songs in my car 😂.

I tell her to follow me to Taco Bell so we pull out of the parking lot from where we started our date eleven hours ago 😂. On the way there, I'm in bliss, car is blaring love music, my hand outside the window following the stream of air. All the sudden, my car's windshield gets a sudden splash of water from a broken sprinkler on the driver side and I'm wet since my window is down. Such a shock at that late hour. Finally, we get to Taco Bell and... IT'S CLOSED!! I was livid! So, I come out of my car to go to her window, and just like that, we're back to kissing ever so slowly. She still has to drive an hour back to her apartment. As we're trying to end the night, neither of us want to be the one to call it. We spend another hour kissing and pining for each other until it really is TOO late. She will have to drive until 5 AM to get home (without tacos for dad 😰). At some point, I tell her she really does need to go or else she will be in BIG trouble with the parents. I get in my car and the date is over. 12 hours in total just about.

If I had to say I wasn't smitten for the woman, I would be lying so hard a lie detector would look like it's detecting an earthquake! We've continued talking to one another and have thoroughly have enjoyed being in each other's text messages. I can't get enough of her and I hope the feeling is mutual.

[josiecarioca]

‘Mama, don’t preach” (New version, now with Eloise

Some of you may remember this Halloween one-shot (originally requested by @viper-official​ ), but since it was written, the Snape family gained a new adittion: Eloise. So here’s a little rewrite (that is obviously too late for Halloween). Enjoy! 

(Ao3 version: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43121653 )

Friday, October 30th, 2015.

Doolin, Ireland.

  Soren nearly threw himself out of the window of the car the moment he saw his grandmother´s house.

“Mam, stop the car!”

“Let him out, or he´ll try and fly through the windshield” Severus smirked. Evelyn stopped the car and unlocked the back door. Soren scrambled out of the vehicle so fast it was a small wonder he didn´t just fall flat on his face by the side of the road. Then off he went, running across the dry grass, muddy puddles and dead leaves.

Severus would always bemoan the fact that Evelyn insisted that whenever they visited her mother, they did the last leg of the trip, from Dublin to Doolin, by car.

“We can go anywhere in the world with magic,” he would always say “take the children and the luggage with us, anywhere you want, in a snap of fingers. Just say where. And yet you insist on this pointless 3 hour drive from Dublin. It makes no sense. It´s just going to get them cranky and tired for no reason.”

Maybe he was right. Maybe it was 'pointless', and it certainly made Soren cranky. Unlike Eloise, who blissfully slept most of the journey, or just entertained herself playing with her toys, watching the landscape change and rambling about all the magical creatures hidding behind every tree and rock, Soren could barely sit still for more than half an hour. Then again, having to sit still for any length of time made him cranky. Evelyn was willing to concede that Severus did have a point in that would be easier to just travel through magical means.

Easier is not always better, though.

She didn´t want her children to get too used to the idea that magic can make everything easy, or that they didn´t have to put any work into anything as long as he had a wand in his hand. Eloise was four, and starting to understand there was a difference between what was magival and what wasn't, and Soren...well, he would be ten years old the following day. The moment he would finally receive his letter approached fast, maybe too fast for her liking. Severus made sure that Soren was taught how to control his spontaneous bursts of magic, he taugh their son himself how to keep his magic in and how to use it in a controlled way. Little charms, tiny spells, little by little, so he´d get used to it. Eloise had been getting her first lessons as well. So they'd be safe.,

Paul's demise was always in the back of her mind, and from the moment Evelyn found out she was pregnant the first time she had started to fret. Severus knew it, and he took it upon himself to make sure their children were always safe, always protected against any accident. All of that was important, but Evelyn often had to remind Severus that Soren and Eloise weren't just wizards, they were half-blood whatever that meant according to the arbitrary conventions of wizarding society. They had a muggle family, a grandmother, a great-grandmother, cousins, and muggle friends. Evelyn herself, while not a muggle, wasn´t able to produce magic. Their children had to learn not everything can be dealt with or solved with the flick of a wand, and it had to be done from the earliest age.

Sure she could have made some exceptions. One thing was having the kids do a couple everyday chores without the use of magic, quite another was to have them sit still inside a car for 3 hours when they could easily be in Doolin in a snap of Severus' fingers. But Evelyn didn´t want them to miss out on the anticipation, on the feeling of waiting for something you want so much you feel like jumping out of your skin. They were growing up fast, much too fast. Evelyn wanted them to hold on to that feeling for a little while longer.

Doolin was a land of dreams for her children. Which was funny, considering they routinely witnessed literal magic happening all around them. Doolin just had a different type of magic to it. No magic in the world could rival the view of the Cliffs of Moher as the sun set over the Atlantic, no magic could replace the stories of warriors, king, queens, ghosts and goblins great-grandmother Liz could tell, no quidditch match was as exciting as climbing trees or playing in the mud, and no charms nor spells could make Soren feel as he felt when he went out into the fields, to run through the ruins of the village´s remote medieval and Celtic past, or how Eloise felt when she build little fairy houses in grandma's garden. For them, who had a wizard for a father, magic was a mundane, everyday thing. Getting into a car and driving to the little village by sea where their mother was born, now that was just...different.

Evelyn did suspect there was another reason Soren was always so excited to travel to Doolin for the Summers, weekends and holidays. Said reason just so happened to be standing right outside her mother's front porch when they pulled over. No wonder Soren was so eager to get out of the car, Evelyn thought, looking on as her son almost tripped over himself to get to her.

Audrey Blake.

If it wasn´t for the fact that she could breathe, move and talk, Audrey could easily be mistaken for a life-sized doll. Her pink leggings had little black cats drawn on them and they matched her long sleeved black blouse, her powder pink ballerina flats were so pristine you´d think she had purposely avoided every single mud puddle left by the morning drizzle as she walked over from her house down the street, and not a strand of her short blonde hair was out of place, waves neatly held in place with multicoloured barrettes.

Evelyn had no idea what had happened to draw the two children to each other, but they were connected by that kind of profound friendship only children and a few very blessed adults can enjoy. There was, however, no denying the two were as different as the sun and the moon. Soren was bundle of barely contained manic energy, while Audrey was as calm as a lake on a clear spring day, Soren was so talkative he would make a parrot seem shy, and Audrey was so quiet and soft spoken one had to strain to hear her sometimes, where Soren was exuberant, loud and energetic, Audrey was delicate, sweet and serene.

Maybe that was the reason. Brash as he could be, Soren was also surprisingly kind and thoughtful if needed be. And Audrey was the kind of child that would bring fierce protective instincts out of the most hardened adult, let alone a boy like Soren, whose heart was so easy to win over. On the other hand, Soren´s no holds barred approach to everything in life meant he simply bulldozed through the rules and restrictions Audrey's mother kept making up to smothered the poor girl.

Catherine made it her life mission to make sure her daughter always looked and acted perfectly prim and proper, a doll rather than a living child. It was an endeavour Soren seemed hell-bent on ruining. The moment he stepped foot on Doolin there was no keeping the little girl in the neat little confines of frilly dresses and strict prohibitions. Soren didn't spare a single care to any of that. Audrey was his friend, and she would go on adventures with him regardless of what any adult had to say.

“Hello, love” Evelyn greeted her, running the tips of her fingers on her rosy, pudgy cheek.

“Come on, get yourselves inside, you two, it looks like it´s about to rain again. Careful not to track any mud in.” Severus said as he took Eloise out of her seat, gently waking her up, in that quiet tone Evelyn had come to identify as his particular way to show fatherly affection. Severus wasn´t all that prone to the cajoling and sugary displays of affection most people associate with parenthood. Is not that he wasn´t affectionate towards Soren and Eloise. He was, and deeply so. But Severus´affection was subtle; it was in the way he talked, adopting a quieter, warmer delivery to his words, in the way he messed Soren´s hair, or gave Eloise a quick kiss on the top of the head first thing in the morning, how he watched over them as they went about a task, the way he rested his hand on their shoulder and dropped to his knees to talk to them eye to eye, and how he listened to them with the same attention and respect he would dispense to an adult. Over time he started act the same with Audrey, to the point that the girl, meek and timid around nearly everyone else, seemed entirely well at ease with Severus, which was quite funny considering how most children who came into contact with him in Hogwarts felt about the notoriously scary DADA professor and war hero. To that muggle little girl however, Severus was just the gentle, if taciturn, father of her best friend, who was always nice to her.

“Mrs. Black is making scones and hot cocoa. She´s got cherry jam too, she gave me a little just now” Audrey told Severus, as they made their way inside. The mention of cherry jam seemed to wake Eloise up, and she squirmed to be put on the ground so she could run inside. “There you go, dove.”

“You´ve been here for a while, then.” Severus smiled, not surprised. Of course Audrey would be there since early in the day, waiting for Soren. What else was new?

“She has,” Evelyn´s mother, Sophia, confirmed, opening the dorr to let them in “even helped me with the scones. She´s got quite the talent for baking, this one.”

After the usual greetings, hugs and kisses, Severus brought the luggage in, and Evelyn followed her mother into the kitchen, where Soren, Eloise and Audrey were already sitting, waiting for an adult to get the pipping hot pastries out of the baking sheet.

“How´s your mam doing, sweetheart?” Evelyn asked Audrey, pretending she didn´t see her son dip a finger into the open jar of jam, then encourage his sister to do the same.

“She´s fine.” Audrey's smile disappeared when she answered, but then Soren started to talk about the latest additions to his personal library of adventure books, and she seemed to be herself again. Evelyn turned to her mother, but Sophia simply shook her head and proceeded to serve the scones.

“Mam?” Evelyn called, as the children started to eat with delight “Did something happen?”

“The poor dear is upset because her mam won't let her trick or treat.” he mother whispered, turning her back so Audrey wouldn´t hear

“Why not?”

“Last time I saw her in church, Catherine was going on about how Audrey is having trouble with her maths at school, so no costumes or trick or treating for her this year.” Sophia was visibly offended by the notion of denying Halloween to a child. “Can you believe it?”

“Well, it´s Soren´s birthday too, I'll have to talk to her.”

“You think I didn't try already, Lynnie? And I thought you weren´t having a party this year?”

“We're not, but I was planning to have a cake next Sunday, and we're taking the kids trick or treating tomorrow. Audrey always goes with them. I mean, they're best friends.”

“Well, go ahead and call her, but you know how she gets.” Sophia shrugged

“We´re all unpacked.” Severus announced triumphantly, entering the kitchen.

“Well, nothing like having a husband with a magic wand.”

“Told you my dad was a wizard, Audrey.” Soren proclaimed. The beauty of that age was that no matter how many times Soren and Eloise said their father was a mighty wizard, nobody would take it for anything other than children playing make belief. And since it never failed to get a smile out of Audrey, Evelyn and Severus played along.

No adult ever suspected a thing.

Evelyn gave her husband a quick kiss on the lips as he sat down to eat with the children.

“Where are you going? Have some tea at least.” he asked.

“I need to make a phone call, I´ll be right back.”

….

Evelyn braced herself for the conversation as the phone ran on the other side of the line. Catherine Ann Blake was famously difficult. It was just common knowledge. She had gotten worse since her husband passed away. Evelyn sometimes gave her the benefit of the doubt, that all she did, she did with Audrey´s best interest in mind, and that she maybe felt the need to be strict since she was raising a child on her own, but Evelyn´s tolerance for her antics had worn off a while ago. Catherine and Sophia were both active members of the local congregation, and Sophia had...stories. Evelyn hated the idea of a little girl as vulnerable and delicate as Audrey being raised by such an overbearing, moralistic and religious know-it-all, but she had to shut her mouth if she wanted her to continue to allow Audrey to spend time with Soren.

“Hello, Mrs. Blake? It´s Evelyn Snape.”

“Hello, Mrs. Snape. How may I help you?” Evelyn could almost hear the contempt in her voice.

Catherine didn´t like her or Severus much, and she didn't put much effort in hiding it. Evelyn didn't quite know why. Maybe Severus was too British and too eccentric for her standards, maybe Evelyn was a bit too flamboyant to be seen as a respectful wife and mother in her eyes, or maybe it was the fact that they had chosen a gay man as the godfather of their son. Last time Fin had come to Doolin for Soren's birthday, she couldn´t stop staring at him and Doug, visibly dismayed at the sight of a gay couple in a children's party. Evelyn hoped that wasn't the reason they had skipped the party this year, opting to give Soren his gift when the Snapes visited them in Dublin.

Catherine didn´t much care for their “ruffian of a son” either. She had overheard her call Soren that once. She suspected she would soon find some reason to start calling Eloise names as well. For the life of her Evelyn didn´t know what possessed that woman to even allow Audrey to play with him if she thought so poorly of their entire family, with the one exception being Sophia. Maybe there was motherly love in there to be saved, and she could at least understand that separating Audrey and Soren would hurt her daughter. Or maybe she just didn't want to be on Sophia's bad side. Which was quite more likely, to be honest.

“I´m calling because, as you know, Soren´s birthday is tomorrow and I was wondering if you would let Audrey come over to my mother's to spend the evening with us?”

“Audrey can´t go to any party for the time being, she´s grounded. I only let her come over to see your boy today because your mother asked.”

“Oh, we´re not having any party tomorrow. We just wanted to have Audrey over so she and Soren can play a little, if that´s possible. It will break his heart if he can't spend his birthday with his best friend, I´m sure you understand.”

“I don´t know. We have the Vigil for All Souls and Hallows in church tomorrow and I was thinking of taking her with me, I think she' about old enough to start having a more active role in the congregation.”

“I see. I know you work so very hard for the congregation. But maybe having Audrey there would distract you?” Evelyn could feel every muscle on her face going sore from the effort of spouting such large amounts of malarkey and having to be so courteous, when all she wanted was to tell that woman to take her bloody vigil and shove it. But she had to power through. For the kids. “My husband and I will gladly keep her for a few hours so you can focus on your work. I mean, the Vigil is very important, it will need your full attention.” Evelyn knew Catherine. Sophia wouldn't be there and she'd have the chance to run the entire thing, of course she wouldn't pass up the chance to push Audrey onto any available adult so she could rule over the vigil.

“I suppose there´s no harm in that.” she conceded after a moment´s hesitation

“And while we´re at it...I bought her a little princess costume and...”

“Audrey is grounded, Mrs. Snape. I told her she wouldn't be getting any costumes for Halloween this year, not until her maths improve.”

“Oh, I understand. In that case, maybe we can reach a compromise. Audrey comes over just to play with Soren for a little while, and I promise we´ll have her back home early. And I won´t put her in the costume I bought. I mean, it's a shame, of course, but rules are rules.”

“Well, seeing it's your boy´s birthday, and I'll be otherwise engaged, then I'll let Audrey go, but remember...”

“No princess costume, and she´ll be back home by 9. Thank you, Mrs. Blake.”

“What was that about?” her mother asked, coming out from the kitchen.

“We seem to have reached an agreement. Audrey comes over tomorrow, and I pinky promise not to put her in the lovely little princess costume I bought. Now, mam, do you know if Caitlin still has the girls´old Halloween costumes?”

“You just promised her you wouldn´t put her daughter in a costume.”

“No, I promised her I wouldn´t put her daughter in the princess costume I bought, specifically. But since I didn't buy any princess costume, I´m not breaking my promise if I put her in literally anything else.”

“Evelyn, we're never going to hear the end of it when she finds out!”

“She doesn't have to find out. The other church ladies have the Vigil for All Souls and Hallows Eve tomorrow evening, remember?  We´ll have Audrey back home and changed by the time she´s back from church. She´ll never suspect.”

Sophia tried to object, but before she could open her mouth, Evelyn was back in the kitchen, ushering the children from their seats.

“Come on, kids, we're going to aunt Cat's house.”

…

“Oh, my God, she´s is going to blow a fuse when she finds out you're taking her daughter trick or treating.” Caitlin told her as they went through the box full of old costumes. “I need to get some popcorn and a front seat for that.”

“She won´t find out.”

Audrey and Soren were taking all the costumes from the boxes Caitlin had hauled down from the attic and trying them on, then helping Eloise into different ones as if she was a little living doll. Audrey didn´t seem to have noticed they were also picking a costume for her, and simply enjoying what she saw as her only chance at Halloween dress up of the year.

“You're going to ask Audrey to lie to her mother.” Cat, lowered her voice, not the the kids would have listened anyway, they were too busy doing a little impromptu fashion show.

“Do you really think Audrey and her mother are having long and nice conversations about how the girl's day went? That hag is probably going to send the poor baby straight to bed the moment she comes back home. How about this one?”

“Dorothy...cute, but what are the rest of you going to wear? It would be nice if all five of you matched.”

“Five? As if I can get Severus in a costume. Seventeen years we've been together and he has never dressed up for Halloween.”

“Well, what did you expect? His fashion baseline is somewhere between victorian gothic and 70s  punk rock..The man dresses for Halloween all year long! Oh, look at this. Remember when Alice wore this one?”

“Wednesday Addams...” Evelyn mused for a moment. “Oh, yeah, that was the year I took Alice trick or treating dressed as Morticia Addams, wasn't it?”

“Of course I do, I was pregnant with Lizzie and no costume would fit me, and you were prancing about in that slinky black dress. I hated you so much.” Cat laughed. “I'm pretty sure mam still has that dress somewhere in her attic.Well, that's an idea for a group costume...Addams family? What do you kids think?”

“Can I be the grandma?!” Elois blurted alsmot imediately

“Don't you want to be Wednesday?” Audrey told her quietly. Evelyn could tell by the hind of sadness in her expression she was counting herself out of the dress up game.

“No.” Eloise answered as if she was about to explain something painfully obvious “Grandma Addams makes potions, she has the cauldron and all.”

Of course Eloise would prefer to dress as the one character who could brew potions in a huge steaming cauldron. She couldn't be more Severus' daughter if she tried. Incidentally, she just solved Evelyn's problem perfectly. It left the position of Wednesday open for somebody else...

“Even if Eloise wanted to be Wednesday, this dress too big for her.” Evelyn held up the garment, pretending to evaluate it. “But it would be perfect for you Audrey!”

Soren and Eloise both agreed immediately, Audrey didn't seem so sure.

“You'll be Wednesday and I'll be Pugsley.” Soren encouraged her

“I'm sure you have a stripped t-shirt somewhere.” Evelyn agreed

“”Can I bleach my hair?”

“No, you cannot.”

“How about dad?” Eloise suddenly remembered.

Caitlin thought for a moment before offering an idea:

“You should ask mam if she still has dad´s old black pinstripe suit. Have her air it out a little and Severus would make a great Gomez. You don´t even have to paint the dark circles under his eyes with makeup.”

“Yeah, right. He never wears a costume” Soren shrugged

“It´s just a suit...It´s not asking much, is it?”

October 31st, Saturday

The three piece pinstripe suit hanging by the back door of the kitchen nearly startled him as Severus came down for breakfast in the morning.

“What is that about?” he asked his mother-in-law, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“Ask your wife.” Sophia shrugged “She asked me to air out her father's old suit, I´m just doing what she said.”

Something was off.

Sophia always refered to Evelyn as “my daughter”,  “Lyn” or “Lynnie”. Unless, of course. Evelyn had done something she disapproved of. Then Evelyn stopped being “my daughter” and became “your wife.”

Caitlin had come over for dinner the night before with her husband, Paulo. It had been a pleasant evening, but he couldn´t help but notice his wife and sister-in-law seemed to be plotting something. He didn´t think much of it, assuming it had something to do with Soren´s birthday. Caitlin would be working the night shiftfor Halloween, but she would be at the party the next day, maybe they we're making arrangements for that.

Looking at that suit hanging by the door, however, he started to suspect those two were having ideas, and he didn´t really like it when they had ideas.

“Where´s 'my wife' then?”

“At her gran's. She asked me about an old costume of hers, but I didn´t have it here, so it has got ot be there.”

“A costume, uh?”

“Yes, a costume.” Evelyn came up from behind him carrying a large plastic bag “Happy Halloween, darling!”

“So you´re taking the little monsters out trick or treating?” he observed, sipping his coffee.

“WE are. That suit is for you.”

“When did Halloween become a formal event?”

“I´ll be going as Morticia, and I´m dressing Soren and Audrey and Pugsley and Wednesday, and Eloise decided to be grandma Addams, so I had to raid grandma Liz's house for scarves and white yarn for a wig. Now we only need a Gomez.”

“What?”

“The Addams Family, Sev! Your sons's favourite films?”

Sometimes Severus struggled with muggle pop culture references. Before Evelyn, he had gone years having barely any contact with muggle TV, radio or music. After Evelyn however, he could keep reasonably up to date, and once Soren was old enough to start having his own preferences in terms of films and music, then he simply had to keep up. Fortunately, Eloise was more of a fairytale and books kinds of child. But even making an effort, he still missed some references here and there. This wasn´t one of those instances, however. Surely he had watched the early 90s films quite a few times, as Soren was obsessed with them, but even before that, he had been somewhat familiar with the 1960s American TV programme. He most definitely knew who the Addamses were.

“I do remember that, love” he smiled. “But I'm not putting on a costume. We have this discussion every year.”

“This year is different.”

“Your wife has decided she´ll start some trouble with Catherine Blake” Sophia interrupted them.

“Mam!”

“Audrey's mother? I'm afraid don't quite follow.”

“That self-righteous idiot has decided her daughter doesn't 'deserve' Halloween because the poor girl is not performing to her ridiculous standards in a few school subjects.”

“Oh, so you decided you're going to dress her daughter up and take her out anyway? Against her wishes?”

“Her mother is wrong, for starters.”

“She's still Audrey's mother, we can't just undermine her authority like that. Audrey is a lovely girl, but if she's struggling at school...”

“She´s not! Her grades are nowhere near as bad as her mother is making it seem. She simply didn´t ace her last exam.”

“While I agree, it´s a bit excessive, that IS her mother.”

“Severus, all Audrey does is study, do chores and go to church. It's a miracle Catherine even allows her to come over and visit my mother, and I suspect she only does that because she's afraid of what the other will thbink of her in church if she has a problem with my mother of all people. Can the child have a moment of fun!?”

“I understand, love, but you know that wretched creature better than I do. If she finds out you did this, you know what´s going to happen? She will forbid her daughter from being around Soren. You know she just needs an excuse.”

“She doesn´t have to know. Come on, Severus, it´s Soren's birthday. All I want is to take the children out to trick and treat for a few hours, it´s enough that Audrey can´t even come to his party tomorrow. And it would be lovely if you could come too. All you have to do is put on a suit. Soren will be over the moon! And you know what costume Eloise picked? Grandma Addams, because makes potions just like dad. ”

“Don't do that.”

“Do what?”

“This little emotional blackmail. I´m not doing this. End of.”

“Mam! Dad!” they heard the sound of Soren´s and Eloise coming down the stairs in full throttle.

“Look at my wee little spooks! Happy Birthday, Scary Boy!” Evelyn pulled their son into her arms showering his face with kisses. Severus didn´t miss the accusatory look she shot him as she did that.

Severus gave him a bear hug of his own, picking him up and noticing with a small pang of sadness that very soon Soren would be too big for him to carry around. It seemed he was getting taller by the minute. Sometimes Severus feared that one day he would blink and his boy would turn into a grown man right before his eyes. At least Eloise would still be small for a little while longer

“Happy Birthday, you little terror.”

“Oh, is that your costume, papa?!” Eloise jumped into Severus arms and pointed to the suit hanging near the door, her eyes damn near sparkling at the sight of it.

“No, dove. That´s just one of your grandfather's old suits. Your gran is airing it out.”

“But, papa...You never dress up for Halloween.”

Severus looked at Evelyn, silently begging her to help him find a way to explain this without disappointing them too much. She just shrugged and walked away, leaving him to the inglorious task of telling his children once again that he was a boring fool who didn´t dress up for Halloween.

…

“Oh, I didn´t remember this neckline being so...”

“Indecent?” her sister remarked, in stitches.

Caitlin had dropped by to help them get dressed before she had to start heading to the hospital. Evelyn had decided to get dressed before dressing the children. For one it would take forever to cover her healthy rosy-olive complexion, still ever so slightly tanned from the Summer months with a thick layer of ghost-white makeup. Then there was the business of getting into that skintight dress. The zipper certainly required help after being in the closet for 20 years. She had to spend the whole morning at her grandmother´s looseing the dress up a bit so she could fit.

Evelyn was proud of her figure, but since Soren was born she would always have a couple pounds and a few inches more than she considered ideal, and nearing her mid-50s, she certainly couldn´t hope to fit into a dress she had last wore when she was in her early 30s without some help, and grandma Liz had performed nothing short of a miracle.

“Do I look ridiculous?”

“Not at all. I dare say you wear it better now. You fill it out more.”

Evelyn looked at herself in the mirror. The fact that wizards, witches and squibs all had a longer time span than muggles certainly helped. The 50s were not even middle-age for non muggles, and all too often it was their prime in terms of looks. She was fuller than she had been in her 30s, but she was happy with how her curves filled the dress, how generous and supple they looked. The white makeup and red lipstick were stark and severe, and so was the black wig, which was a little too artificial-looking for her taste, but all and all she could pass for a very adequate Morticia Addams

“I´m just glad I can breathe and walk, I was expecting to look like a sack of potatoes.”

“Nonsense. Now lets get the little monsters in their costumes because Paulo will be here any minute”

“Paulo is coming?”

“He worked the morning shift. And since you won't have a Gomez, we figures you should at least have an uncle Fester. Or something like that, we couldn´t find a bald cap in such short notice, but he did have a trenchcoat.”

  ….

“Severus is not even coming with us out of costume?” Paulo asked, seeing her leave the house with the children. His costume was barely a costume, he had just thrown a long coat on after coming home from his shift, and hastily applied some white to his face. His version of Uncle Fester had a full head of hair and thick rimmed glasses, but at least he was there, Evelyn thought with more than a hint of bitterness.

“Apparently not. He wants no part in our little plan.” she smiled

“You'd expect him to be a bit more adventurous. Well, shall we then, crianças? I brought a camera, it´s not as good as uncle Fin's, but we´ll get some neat shots.”

“A camera, Paulo?”

“We didn't dress up this nice for mobile photos. And I´m pretty sure a proper Addams would prefer a camera.It´s more...vintage.”

Before they went on their way, Evelyn felt Audrey pulling her hand. She looked down at the little girl, and saw she was nervously twisting one of the braids of her black wig, her pretty green eyes staring at the ground.

“Auntie Lyn?” she called, in a wispy little voice. Evelyn didn´t remember exactly when Audrey had started calling her and Severus “auntie Lyn” and “uncle Sev”. Maybe she had simply heard Alice and Lizzie do it, and felt like it was appropriate. Neither of them ever felt like correcting her or changing that. It wouldn't feel right to have Audrey call them “Mr. and Mrs. Snape”.

“Yes, love?” Evelyn got down to her knees as best as the dress permitted.

“Mam said I can´t go trick or treating.” She looked so worried Evelyn's heart broke a little.

“She did. And you´re right, you should obey your mother, and those are her rules. But I don´t have to obey her. She left you with me, and my rules are different than hers.”

“She'll be mad.”

“Maybe she will. But that's not your fault. You´re a good girl, love, you just did as I told you. I put you in a costume, so if she has a problem with that, she can talk to me, ok?”

Audrey seemed unsure at first but her hesitation all but vanished when Soren approached and took her hand. They were ready to go.

Or almost.

“Aren't you forgetting something?”

There he was.

Severus Tobias Snape. The man who never in his life had worn a Halloween costume, even after his first child was born on Halloween and just happened to celebrate his every birthday by dressing up and trick or treating.

There he was, in her late father´s old three piece black pinstripe suit, his hair parted down the middle and slicked back with pomade and a pencil thin moustache that looked so natural Evelyn suspected he had used some potion to grow it, instead of just using a fake one.

Evelyn had to admit it, he wore it well...very well.

So well in fact, she immediately thought of taking it off of him.

“Dad, you dressed up!” Eloise exclaimed, her white yarn wig bouncing all over the place as she ran to father, tripping over the longs skirts of her makeshift grandma Addams costume .

“Yes, I did, dove.” he picked her up, taking her toy cauldron on his free hand “But we shall not make a habit of it, ok?”

“Well, you certainly look dashing” Evelyn told him, barely louder than a whisper, as they made their way out into the street in the midst of all the other children and adults in costumes.

“Thank you, Lynz. You look exceedingly stunning yourself. Almost makes me wish this wasn´t a celebration for children” he smirked, offering her his arm.

“Oh, hush, you devil..”

…

Severus knew that wouldn't work out. He just knew it.

Everything was going too well.

The children were having fun, running around, getting sweets by the handful from everybody they ran into. Evelyn was in a glorious mood. She walked by his side, arm and arm, absolutely delighted. The fact that he had agreed to go along with her idea of dressing up the kids and themselves seemed to have pleased her so much Severus was sure he'd be in the receiving end of some rather delightful ministrations once the children were tucked in warmly in his bed, post-sugar rush.

So of course something would have to go wrong.

Severus didn't know what demon had whispered in Catherine Blake's ear and prompted her to leave the vigil early for some reason, all he knew was that she was out and about, walking among normal people as if he had the right to, and of course she had spotted her daughter. All he heard was a shriek, and then he looked back to see her coming towards them like she had emerged from the bowels of hell itself.

Never since Dolores Umbridge had he felt such unmentionable urge to smack a woman upside the head.

“Audrey Marie Blake!”

“Ma'am” Paulo tried to intervene but she walked right past him towards the girl. Evelyn placed herself in front of Audrey as if she feared the disgruntled shrew would hit her in front of everyone. And judging by the look on Evelyn's face Severus knew he had to do something quick or his wife would find a way to get herself arrested for attempted murder if Catherine as much as dared touching Audrey.

“Mrs. Blake” he spoke first, walking between her and Evelyn.

“Mr. Snape, I´m taking my daughter home right now. And tell your wife that...”

“Mrs. Blake, watch your tone, please. You don´t want to make a scene.”

“I should make a scene! I made it abundantly clear that...”

“Paulo” he turned to his brother-in-law for help, ignoring the woman´s fit “Take Lyn and the kids over to Mrs. O´Shea for a moment.”

“She´s not going anywhere!” Catherine roared as Paulo nearly dragged Evelyn and took the kids away. Audrey was on the verge of tears, and Soren looked about as ready to pick up a fight, and poor little Eloise was just confused, holding on to at her mother's skirts for dear life.

“Mrs. Blake. Look around. It's Halloween, you're surronded by families with their children. Do you really want to make a scene?” That seemed to get her attention “Because if you do, I can assure you I can make an ever bigger scene. In fact, I would love to do just that. Now say, Father Murphy is still at the church for the vigil, right? It would be awful if we happened to have words right in the middle of the street and news of it was to reach the good priest. What would he say, one of his most trusted helpers causing a scandal right in the middle of the street? And for what? A silly Halloween costume. Are you sure it's worth it?”

Severus could tell that harpy would claw his eyes out of their sockets if there weren't that many witnesses around. He smiled, a wide, mocking smile. Daring her to go ahead and make a scandal. He was dying for the opportunity to shame her in front of all the people whose opinion he knew she valued above her own daughter's happiness.

“Very well, Mr. Snape. This time around I´ll forgive your wife and let it go. But please have my daughter home by 7:30.”

“I'll have her home by 9...tomorrow.”

“Excuse me?”

“Since today is Hallowen and tomorrow we're having Soren's party, it's probably more convenient if Audrey just sleeps over. I can drop by later and pick up her pajamas, a change of clothes and anything else she needs."

"What? What makes you think I would..."

"And next time I see her, I'm very much looking forward to hearing all about the sweets and chocolates she got this evening, which you will most certainly not take away from her the moment she gets home. And of course, Audrey won't be telling me she got punished in any way, obviously." He smiled even wider, daring her to say something. Surely, Catherine had no way to know the source overwhelming compulsion to just go along with him, regardless of her actual desires, but he could tell she was confused and frustrated. Small blessings that muggles were so defenseless they didn't require the imperium curse to be manipulated. Just a simple non verbal charm could do it.

Defeated, Catherine huffed and puffed, shot him a murderous look and walked away, stomping so hard Severus anxiously expected the earth to open beneath her feet and swallow her whole. Alas, no luck.

"Good news, Audrey, your mother changed her mind about trick or treating and she gave you permission to come to Soren´s party tomorrow."

While the children celebrated and ran along to the next house, Paulo and Evelyn exchanged confused looks.

"How did you..." Paulo asked, confused.

"You didn´t hex her, did you?" Evelyn wondered

"Not for lack of wanting. All it took was mentioning Fr. Murphy and that altar licker changed her tune."

Paulo burst into laughter but Evelyn wasn´t entirely convinced.

"That's all it took?"

"I swear that woman cares more about what the people in church will think of her than anything else."

"Mom, dad, tio! Are you just gonna stand there!?" Soren called out.

"Here´s an idea." Severus told him children. "Uncle Paulo has a camera, and we still have daylight for a while. Why don´t we take some photos in the ruins of the old cemetery?"

With everyone enthusiastically agreeing, so Evelyn was persuaded to let the topic of Catherine Blake go for a while.

For now they had Soren´s birthday to celebrate, and an impromptu gothic-themed photoshoot to finish before the night fell. Anything else could wait.

[ethereal27cereal]

I posted 2,077 times in 2022

That's 2,077 more posts than 2021!

81 posts created (4%)

1,996 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@wroteclassicaly

@ladyfogg

@thisishellfire

@boomhauer

@littledemondani

I tagged 1,468 of my posts in 2022

Only 29% of my posts had no tags

#eddie munson - 551 posts

#joseph quinn - 428 posts

#reese recs - 366 posts

#eddie munson x reader - 230 posts

#at least my queue is organized - 212 posts

#joe quinn - 181 posts

#queue pew pew - 134 posts

#eddie munson smut - 101 posts

#eddie munson x plus size reader - 97 posts

#writing inspo - 82 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#she’s shy and reserved and he’s constantly doing stuff to annoy her just to bring her out of her shell and see if he can get a smile

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Forever, right? - Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

summary: Eddie has just met your parents, and it went...well...well kind of. With a few words of encouragement and sweet comfort, Eddie has the courage to confess some pretty big feelings and decides the next steps in your relationship. This is a part 2 to Curls but can be read on its own.  

warnings: smut 18+ MINORS DNI. established relationship, kissing, breast play, semi-public sex (in Eddie’s van), unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up and be safe 👍🏻), orgasm (m and f),  reader is implied as plus size but doesn’t have to be read that way, reader has relationship with both parents, even though they are judgmental and a bit old fashioned, brief mention of criminals and serial killers (nothing graphic), I think that is it but let me know if I missed something.

request: Thank you to the lovely anon who sent me this: i loved curls! i know it was a one shot but i'd love more from them. like maybe them talking on the drive home after meeting your parents and ofc the engagement. They didn’t quite get to to the drive home part (😈) but I hope you like it. 

genre: angst, fluff, smut

word count: 6.1K

author’s note: I wasn’t planning on a part 2, but I just didn’t feel like I was ready to be done with these two sappy little cuties, and I got a few requests for more so here we are. I wanted to make it so you could read this without having read Curls, so there are a few callbacks and things to make it cohesive. I also wasn’t planning on making it at all angsty, but I just couldn’t imagine a world where reader’s parents didn’t judge him at least a little. 😈 Thank you to @boomhauer and @kissmecaiti for talking me through all the angsty little thoughts I had and giving me inspiration. 

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511 notes - Posted October 9, 2022

#4

Listen to the Trees - Eddie Munson x Plus Size Reader -  Friends to Lovers

summary: Spending your long weekend home from college reading Tolkien with your childhood best friend, Eddie. Couldn't want anything more. Except you do. You want Eddie, more than just friends, but when the words don't ever seem to come out and you miss your train home, things get interesting...

warnings: little bit of perv!Eddie (he masturbates thinking about reader), nothing else really of note - this is pretty much just sappy fluff with two sweet stupid friends who don’t admit how much they love one another

genre: friends to lovers, fluff, little tiny smut

word count: 6.1k

author's note: I was inspired by a prompt I saw on @glasswriter1 "I missed the last train, and it is all because of you and your obsession with speaking trees!" and I just immediately thought of Eddie and his love of LOTR. This totally ends on a major cliffhanger so if you all are into it I have more to come. Asks are always open for any feedback 💚

part 2

The sweet solace of Eddie’s room is a welcome respite from the bitter chill of fall, the wind threatening against the thin windows of his trailer. Your long weekend home from college is almost up, not nearly enough time to spend with your childhood best friend and he is trying to consume every last possible second with you before your train leaves from Indianapolis. Taking you back to Chicago, back to the drudgery of school and work, and too far away from Eddie. 

Bonding over fantasy lands and banding together as outcasts usually do, Eddie and you had been inseparable since that first moment you shared your lunch with him in 1st grade. You and Eddie had shared everything together since then; snacks, movie marathons, study notes, hopes and dreams, fears and secrets, looks that lingered too long for people who were supposed to be just friends. 

Everything changed when you had decided to pursue an art history education in Chicago, wanting to get at least a little breathing space from Hawkins, and Eddie had stayed put, taking some vocational courses at the community college and working at Thatcher Tires. Late night phone calls and a stream of handwritten letters did little to fill the Eddie-sized gap in your life, only leaving a crater-sized chasm right in the middle of your chest. No friendship or sexual partner in college could ever muster up enough mortar to fill the cracks he created. No other man could ever match the way Eddie looked at you, deep coffee-colored pools of wonder and awe like you were the most captivating creature he’d ever seen. 

Your romantic feelings for Eddie had bubbled up slowly, like a geyser waiting to erupt. They had always been there in some way or another, simmering under the surface as the years of friendship went on. He was your best friend, your protector from all the chaos in your life, your guiding moon in the dark night. He had always been there for you and you for him, but you didn’t know just how much you felt for him until the distance and separation made you reflect on everything that could’ve been. You were never sure if he felt the same way about you, you’d never had the courage to bring it up and it certainly wasn’t ever a topic he approached. He was always the affectionate, touchy type with the people he was closest to, so you had been resigned to the fact that you were just one of the guys to him. 

The long holiday weekend had given the perfect excuse to make the train ride home. You told yourself were going to visit family and friends, but you knew from the moment Eddie scooped you into his arms at the train station, trying to hide the tears that were edging their way out of the corners of his chocolate brown eyes, that you would be spending every waking moment of the weekend with Eddie. 

And there you are, lying propped up on your side on Eddie’s bed, covered in blankets that smell like smoke and the cheap cologne you had gotten him for his birthday last year, trying to tame a pending eruption of emotions inside you while staring and attempting to listen as he talks animatedly about everything and nothing all at once. 

“Earth to Y/N?” Eddie asks, shifting forward from his upright position against the pillows to wave his hand playfully in front of you. 

“Hmm, what? I’m listening,” you insist, adjusting your position so you’re sitting up fully facing him now. 

“Sure you are. Then what did I say,” he smirks, his tongue prodding the inside of his cheek as he crosses his arms over his chest.

“You were talking about speaking trees, Ents. And how you’re going to use them in an upcoming campaign with the guys you met at college,” you reply confidently, matching his challenging pose with your own as you sit up and cross your arms, the blankets shrugging off your shoulders.

“So you did catch some of it!! But I literally just asked you a question about said Ents. You gonna answer it, since you were listening so super carefully there, Sunshine?” his pet name for you rolling off his tongue with a tart sweetness that makes you giggle.

“Ok fine, you got me. I zoned off for a second. I was thinking about what time we need to leave to get to the train station on time,” your words not entirely a lie, but also not exactly what you had been ruminating about. “What did you ask me, sorry?” 

“Do you remember the Entwives?,” his face softens into a smile with your apology. You do indeed remember the Entwives, in fact you’re pretty sure you were the one who had brought them up to him during one of your many rereadings of The Two Towers, finding it so achingly sad that there would be never be a reunion between the Ents and their wives who had gone to plant beautiful gardens only to be killed or enslaved when Sauron burned through the land. 

“I think I remember them, but remind me please,” you smile coyly, knowing the information he’s about to share but truly wanting to hear what he has to say. 

“Well Treebeard thinks that the wives are lost forever after they moved to the Brown Lands to plant and grow smaller things and were wiped out by Sauron. But remember how Merry and Pippin say they’ve seen an Ent, or Entwife, walking north of the Shire?” he wiggles his eyebrows dramatically, waiting for your response. An uncontrollable shiver hits you, realizing just how cold the room was without the cocoon of blankets, but you nod, teeth chattering. 

“Jesus, Sunshine, how’d you already manage to wiggle outta that blanket burrito I made for you. Come ‘ere, I feel like a furnace right now so I’ll share some warmth,” he motions for you to lay in between his outstretched legs, untwisting the blankets and folding them back for you to crawl under. You stare down at his form, frayed light wash jeans hugging his slender frame, faded black t-shirt riding up to expose the soft trail of curls that disappear into his waistband as he reaches his arms out for you in a grabby motion. You want nothing more than to curl against his chest and tell him how much you missed him, missed his touch, your skin melting against his, missed the feelings you get when you’re around him, sealing all your words and feelings with a passionate first kiss. But you don’t do that. You can’t. Not now at least. Instead, you just burrow yourself into his lap, letting out a contented sigh as he wraps the blankets around you tightly and you rest your head on the soft cushion of his lower stomach.

“So, for my campaign, I’m going to have one of my players see an Entwife while they’re out on the road. Or I guess a treant wife because they’re called treants in D&D. Anyway, the wives aren’t really all dead, they’ve just been in hiding or hibernation or something, I’m still figuring out that idea. But then the party gets a summons from the treant that is the guardian of the local forest that there have been several sightings of the wives and the party is sent off on a quest to find them,” Eddie’s words tumble from his lips in a babbling flow, hands gesturing wildly then coming to rest softly on your covered shoulder. “What do you think? Does that sound cool or totally lame? I need some trademark Sunshine honesty here,” his voice anxious as he coaxes out your answer, always valuing your opinion even when it would come out a little harsher than you meant, which it often did. 

“I think that sounds like the start of a totally awesome quest. If I weren’t so far away, you know I would want to jump in on that campaign in a heartbeat,” you answer honestly, looking up into his pleading brown eyes.

“I wish you could play in my campaigns again too,” he echoes with a playful pout, but you can see the truth behind his eyes. He has missed you too, he says so several times throughout the weekend. But you are sure it’s not in the same way that you missed him. 

“There is a D&D club on campus and I tried to join in on one of their campaigns, but the DM was…creepy,” you admit quietly, ice cold fingers creeping out from under the blankets to toy with the hem of his shirt.

“Even weirder than little ‘ol me?” he grins and you nod, the movement of your cheek against his shirt causing it to shift up and expose that deliciously inviting swath of flesh and delicate curls. “Creepy how?” he urges you to go on, his eyes fixed to where your fingers are pulling loose threads from the worn patch just above the front pocket of his jeans, inching closer to his tummy with each thread yanked away.

“He just made it weird. Like the only thing he focused on about my character was the fact that I was the only woman on the adventuring party, and it was all heaving bosoms and dirty jokes at my expense. I played like two sessions and then never showed my face again,” you admit with an injured chuckle, and Eddie jolts forward, though you’re unsure if it’s from your words or your frosty fingers suddenly making contact with the bare skin of his midriff. 

“Christ, your fingers feel like icicles,” his whole body stiffens, a sharp intake of breath as you swirl your fingers playfully against his alabaster skin. “That is super shitty about the club and the DM. Many guy DMs are weird lonely losers, but can be surprisingly real pricks whenever they have a real live lady in their presence, especially one as pretty, scary, and charmingly  intimidating as you Sunshine,” his voice stiff but he boops your nose playfully, still wincing away from your frigid touch.

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552 notes - Posted September 14, 2022

#3

Constellations - Eddie Munson x Plus Size Female Reader Series

series masterlist

part 2/?

summary: After an eventful evening at the Battle of the Bands, Eddie provides some comfort and distraction at the diner, but the date isn’t over just yet. He has more planned and it gets a little....heated.

warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI! Eddie and reader are both 18+, mentions of previous sexual assault, mentions of absent parents (kinda?), brief body insecurities, pet names, little touch starved Eddie, basically just a whole bunch of kissing and heavy petting, then fingering, oral f receiving, orgasm f and m

genre: fluff, smut

word count: 8.6k (again, brevity is not my strong suit)

author’s note: I am so grateful for all the support and nice comments I received on part one, I really wasn’t expecting it to get much traction at all so I’m so thankful for all the positive feedback. I also have to thank @boomhauer for the tiddy wrangler line 🙏🏼 I have not written smut for 10 years so if this totally sucks, I am very sorry. 🫣

Eddie parked the van in a small clearing in the trees on the banks of Lover’s Lake. You had been there a few times during the day, soaking up some of the summer rays and tucking into a good book, but the lake looked entirely different by the light of the moon. Shadows play in the gaps between the trees, eerie silence save a few hooting owls and crunching of branches as other woodland creatures scurry about under the cover of inky blackness.

Eddie dramatically shifts in the driver’s seat once the van has lurched into park, turning to face you and clapping his hands together. “Ok, so, lay it on me babe. What do you know about metal music? What have you heard that you like?”

“Hmm, I’ve listened to a few Iron Maiden songs, ‘Phantom of the Opera’ and ‘The Trooper’. I actually liked a few Metallica songs that Holly played for me, I just can’t remember the names,” you list a few basics, hoping he was ready for your very beginner level knowledge on the subject. You lean back in your seat to face him, watching curiously as his eyes go wide, grinning and drumming his hands against the steering wheel.

“Alright, okay, I can work with that,” he chews his bottom lip in thought as he rummages through the tapes and general debris that scatter the front seat of the van. “Sorry ‘bout the mess, I don’t usually have company, especially company as pretty as you. Now where the fuck did I…aha!”  Eddie triumphantly holds up an Iron Maiden tape, Piece of Mind scrawled across it in calligraphy with what looks like a zombie in chains lunging towards you.

“Yikes, he’s a bit creepy, isn’t he,” you suppose, tapping the case gently as if not to wake the creature lurking inside.

“That’s Eddie.”

“What?” you give him a quizzical look, head tilting to the side.

“I’m not being funny, that’s just the band’s mascot or whatever. His name is Eddie, pretty sweet name I think,” he beams, sarcasm lacing his tone as he inserts the cassette into the tape deck, careful to turn down the volume a touch, not wanting to burst your eardrums on the first music education lesson. “Are you ready to have your mind blown, sweetheart?” You nod and smile, the epic guitar and drums of the first song already beginning to thrum through your veins, goosebumps shivering down your arms as you let yourself relax and enjoy the music. It isn’t half bad, your body can’t help but move to the beat, subtle toe taps and head bobs with Eddie watching you intensely.

“So, give me your honest review. Do I have a convert or am I going to have to work a little harder than that?” Eddie presses as the first song comes to an end.

“I’m not completely sold, I think I’d still prefer to listen to New Order over Iron Maiden, but I am trying to be more open and accepting of new things. Hit me with the next song, my body is willing and ready,” your words playing tricks on you as they make their way out of your mouth, blood already thumping hot in your ears, staring agape at Eddie for his response.

“Christ, Y/N, well if you put it that way,” he cackles, his whole body in motion as the laughter shakes him.

“Let me rewind,” you make a babbling sound as if imitating a video tape rewinding, only causing Eddie to laugh louder and your cheeks to flame an even brighter shade of pink. “I just mean that my ears are ready for the music. My body is ready too, for you. I mean, I’m willing to be ready for whatever you want to do to me. Fuck. Shit. I’m going to stop talking now, just play the song and let me slowly slip away into my grave, please.” You shrink down in your seat, flopping the leather jacket over your face in shame as you hear Eddie’s laughter begin to fade out into a soft wheezy chuckle.

“Hey, hey, come back here, sweetheart. You can’t make a spicy confession like that and then just hide from me,” Eddie’s voice saccharine and playful as he tosses the jacket off of you, his finger curling under your chin to bring your eyes to look at him. “I’m glad you feel that way, knuckles. I will definitely be keeping that in mind for future reference,” he whispers, his thumb ghosting towards the plumpness of your bottom lip, his eyes flickering down to follow the steady path his thumb is trailing. You close your eyes, inhaling deeply, expecting his lips to meet yours within moments, but he doesn’t. You open your eyes to see him adjusting the volume on the stereo as another song comes to a crescendo, trying to hide the fact that he is peeking at you behind the curtain of his hair. Your lips purse into a thin line as you quickly look out the window, wondering if you have just misread the situation or maybe scared him off a little with how quickly you were willing to let him into your pants.

“Oh this is the best part,” Eddie hums softly and turns the volume knob, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel as a shrieking guitar solo wails from the speakers, ignoring whatever awkward exchange that had just been.

The next few songs play, but Eddie doesn’t ask for your opinion again. He smiles and nods  when he sees your foot tapping through the chorus of “Flight of Icarus”, but he seems especially preoccupied with chewing on the loose skin around his thumbnail and reorganizing the center console.

After the final notes of “The Trooper'' echo through the speakers of the stereo, Eddie begins to get fidgety, gnawing raw red marks around the edges of his fingernails, bouncing his leg enough to shake the entire van as he looks over at you every few seconds, like you might suddenly disappear before his eyes. Without a word of warning, he suddenly scrambles to the back of the van, conjuring up a couple of blankets, a boombox, and a handful of cassette tapes, returning with a grin. “Wanna get high and look at the stars?” he blurts out, pulling out a little bag that was tucked in the inside pocket of his jacket and giving it a shake.

With a nod, you both tumble out of the van, quickly setting up the blankets in a plush arrangement in the soft grass that slowly slopes down to the sandy beach. Eddie’s deft fingers quickly rolling up a joint, licking the paper and pressing it neatly before bringing it to his lips to light. The earthy tang assaults your nostrils and makes your eyes sting momentarily as he takes the first drag, passing it over to you, fingers brushing in a moment that seems to last for an eternity.

~*~

You both develop a steady rhythm of passing the joint back and forth, settling back on the soft cushion of the blankets. You gaze up at the obsidian blanket above you, the blunt dangling haphazardly in between your lips, in awe of just how many stars there are. Of course, you knew there were millions of stars in the Milky Way, but they didn’t seem to shine as brightly in the city as they do on the banks of Lover’s Lake. The sticky sweet taste of strawberry milkshake lingering in your mouth, the crackling burn of the weed as it began to seep into your lungs and invade your senses, the gentle warmth of Eddie’s arm pressing against yours.

“There’s Cassiopeia, looks kind of like a W. Then right below her, it’s sometimes hard to make out, but there’s Cepheus and Draco,” Eddie’s pointer finger juts out to gesture at a cluster of shining stars that when strung together look a bit like a squiggly snake and a box with a triangle on top. “And of course right above Cassiopeia is their daughter, Andromeda. Kind of fucked that she’s forever bound to be next to her parent’s after what they did to her,” he rattles off the details eagerly, licking his lips as he scans the stars for other constellations and takes another puff off the quickly shrinking joint before extinguish it carefully in the damp grass next to him. You try to follow where his fingers are tracing patterns, connecting dots and telling stories, but you find it hard to turn your attention toward anything other than his face. His left eye squinting shut, pink tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth in concentration, his features softening as the boyish enthusiasm takes over.

“How do you know so much about Greek mythology and constellations?” your voice a whisper, as if not wanting to disturb the hushed peacefulness of the night air.

“Uhh, I got a little obsessed with the idea of the Underworld as a setting for one of my D&D campaigns in high school. That led to reading stories about Hades and Persephone, and before I knew it I had checked out every book the library had to offer about Greek myths and legends,” Eddie responds, his fingers absently twirling into the loose threads of the blanket underneath you both.  

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567 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

#2

Knuckles - Eddie Munson x Plus Size Female Reader

series masterlist 

part 1/?

summary: Your summer spent with a best friend in Hawkins has thus far been uneventful. An impulsive outing to the Battle of the Bands competition and an unfortunate chain of events sends Eddie hurdling into your life and you are more than happy to make space for him there. A little hurt comfort, a lotta sweet fluff, and there will definitely be at least a part 2 if not more. 

pairing: Eddie x plus size! reader 

warnings: All characters are 18+ and you should be too. MINORS DNI! TW: this fic does contain mentions and depictions of sexual assault (not graphic, reader is non-consensually touched by a stranger at the bar), feelings of guilt after assault are briefly mentioned, plus size!reader with mentions of feelings around having their size compared to someone else, use of y/n, female pronouns and pet names used to describe reader, brief violence, mentions of bruising and blood, crying, eating and talk about food, eventual smut. if you find any of these things triggering, please do not continue to read

genre: fluff, angst, eventual smut

word count: 10.2k (oops, got a little carried away there)

author’s note: This is my first Eddie fic and the first fic I’ve written in about 10 years, so please be kind and repost and comment if you enjoy it 💜 Lightly proofread and edited, but tell me if there is anything super weird. I do not really incorporate anything from s4 and the characters are all college age. I have a part 2 of this already in the works, but let me know if there is anything specific you all would like to see from this story. 

tags: tagging a few sweet mutuals who might like to read, feel free to ignore though :) @wroteclassicaly​ @boomhauer​ @thisishellfire @bayouteche​ @honeybee-reverie​

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Please, please, please come!!” your best friend, Holly, whines, pouting with her hands on her hips. Soft afternoon summer light fades through the gauzy window coverings, fracturing and splitting as you flop back onto her pillowy bed, dust motes exploding in your wake. She has been making her case for over 20 minutes about why you should go see the Battle of the Bands competition that is being held at some dive bar called The Hideout, and Holly is always absolutely relentless in any argument you two have, especially if it is about metal music. 

“It’s really not my thing,” your fingers dance lazily through the dust clouds and you try your best to avoid her laser-like gaze, “I know you want me to experience all of Hawkins while I’m here for the summer, but that is the one area we differ in. I’ll love you forever, but I will never understand how you can listen to the sound of shrieking guitars, drums that are way too intense, and some guy screaming scary lyrics at you and then you have the audacity to call it music” you smirk, catching her exasperated look out of the corner of your eye just as she tosses a pillow at your face. 

“Hey!” you squeak and chuck the pillow right back at her, maybe with a little more force than you had meant to because she stumbles and plops down onto the bed next to you. 

“Please, Y/N… if you absolutely hate it, we can leave and go see a movie or something, but I like really really REALLY want to go to this. It is the final battle between the top two metal bands in Hawkins, Corroded Coffin and The Feral Tomb, and….” she insists and then hesitates for a moment, chewing on her thumbnail, “...and there is this guy in The Feral Tomb, he’s the bassist, and, um…I…well…”

“Come on, Holls. So you want to drag me along to this…concert, and I use that term very loosely here, so that I can be your wingwoman and you can flirt with some metalhead? Am I getting all the details right here?” you sit up from the bed suddenly, still avoiding her puppy-dog eyes, but giving her sidelong glances through your eyelashes. 

“Yes.” she replies sheepishly, her eyes dropping down to focus on the loose thread she is aimlessly unraveling from the pillow in her lap. 

You had spent the last month at Holly’s childhood home in Hawkins, Indiana, enjoying the lazy small town summer and relishing in the much needed break after your junior year at Purdue Indianapolis. You two were roommates at university and when a family thing came up she said she had to head home for the summer. This meant giving up the apartment you shared, and you scrambled to try to find somewhere to stay. With no parents, relatives, or really other friends to speak of in the area, it would have been impossible to find somewhere you could afford alone on your measly coffee shop salary, even if it was just three summer months. When Holly offered for you to come along with her to her hometown, you felt unfamiliar knots in your stomach, maybe something akin to sisterly love, a feeling entirely foreign to you as an only child. She had been by your side since freshman orientation, her mom even acted the part of a parental figure for you since your mom was unable to make any of the welcome events, and when it came time to move out of the freshman dorms and into the nearby apartments she didn’t even second guess the idea that you two would be moving in together. So with a few futile “no I couldn’t possibly”s and “well I don’t want to be a bother”s you packed your bags and headed with her to Hawkins. 

It certainly wasn’t the most exciting place to spend the summer, but with home cooked meals every night, late night giggle sessions with Holly, and the sweet tan you were getting from all the time out at Lover’s Lake, it felt like the home you’d never had. 

You shake your head, clearing the reverie and aimless thoughts to focus back on Holly, who is practically gnawing a hole in the raw flesh of her thumb as she awaits your response. 

“So, what’s his name then, this bassist? What’s so great about him? And is there one for me too?” you sigh and push her shoulder playfully. Her squealing immediately pierces through the room and she leaps from the bed, dashing over to the closet. 

“His name is Theodore, but he goes by Theo. Isn’t that so sexy and mature sounding? He’s got this gorgeous blonde hair and he is just how I like them.” She coos as she begins to furiously push masses of hanging clothes aside, her lips pursing as she inspects a lacy black dress and then tosses it aside. 

“And just how do you like them Holly?” you give her a quizzical look, already knowing her answer would leave most scandalized. She pops back out of the closet, her hands on her hips incredulously. 

“You know, dumb and eager to make me cum,” she winks and disappears into the closet again.

“Jesus, Holly, subtlety has never been your forte has it? So what about me then? Keep in mind my type is usually someone with some semblance of a brain, I would still like them to make me cum though,” you inquire, trying desperately to think back to the last time a guy had made you cum, but either your memory is failing you or it had been a painfully long time since that has occurred in your love life. 

“The other guys in his band are pretty cute too, maybe not quite your usual brainy, bookish type, but hey, it’s just a summer hookup. And the other band, Corroded Coffin, well I went to high school with all of them, and they were all kind of super nerdy then, so I can’t say that I find any of them sexy, but maybe you will,” she wrinkles her nose and sticks her tongue out at you. 

“Alright, well give me all the details on the ones you went to high school with then,” you roll your eyes and stand up to rummage through your own clothes, trying to find something even remotely suitable for a metal concert. 

“Well, Eddie is the lead guitarist/singer. He was the Dungeon Master of their little D&D club and I remember him always putting on some kind of dramatic production during lunch. He’s kind of full of himself, but in a charming way. Jeff is the other guitarist, he’s sweet, definitely a little shy. Gareth is the drummer, we had a project we were paired for in history and he did all of it for me so we love that. The bassist is Barry, or Larry. Maybe Carl? I can’t remember his name honestly.” She continues flipping through her closet, leaving piles of almost entirely black clothes in her wake, until she finds the winners. You flip over the names in your head, trying to imagine just based on her brief descriptions if any of them would be worth the effort of dressing up for this thing. 

“Aha! Here you go!” she tosses a leather jacket, some ripped black jeans, and a faded oversized Iron Maiden shirt that has the sleeves cut off into your lap, then begins to shimmy out of her sweatpants and t-shirt in favor of a pair of leather pants and a cropped black shirt that maybe once had a band’s logo printed on it, but was so well loved and worn that there was only a whisper of a print that remained. 

“But I barely even know who Iron Maiden is. What if someone asks me about them and I don’t know what to say,” you panic slightly, cautiously shrugging the shoulders of your sundress down to slip the foreign shirt over your head. 

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1,142 notes - Posted September 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Curls - Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

part 2

summary: Eddie is getting ready to meet your parents for the first time after a year of dating. He is particularly nervous about impressing them, so you help him do his hair. And then help him relax a little 😉

warnings: smut 18+ MINORS DNI. established relationship, kissing, breast play, oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v sex (mention of birth control but still wrap it up and be safe 👍🏻), lots of sweet sappiness between Eddie and reader, reader has curly hair but it is not described in great detail, reader is implied as plus size but doesn’t have to be read that way, reader has relationship with both parents. I think that is it but let me know if I missed something.

genre: fluff, smut

word count: 4.9K

author’s note: I couldn’t get the idea out of my head about doing Eddie’s hair and so this just all kind of came rambling out. Any feedback is always appreciated 💕

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3,032 notes - Posted October 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ourgoodfriendjonathan]

I posted 3,075 times in 2022

That's 3,075 more posts than 2021!

371 posts created (12%)

2,704 posts reblogged (88%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@draculadailytracker

@cattuladaily

@marghen

@dathen

@animate-mush

I tagged 2,950 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#dracula daily - 323 posts

#fanart - 146 posts

#october 3 - 124 posts

#september 30 - 80 posts

#october 1 - 78 posts

#september 17 - 73 posts

#november 6 - 71 posts

#september 21 - 67 posts

#😂 - 65 posts

#september 29 - 63 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#well.. full disclosure. my brain sees 'kukri' and thinks 'schnappie das kleine krokodil' but there is no reasonal explanation for that leap

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

“You can't spoiler an old book”

I'm really quite done with the argument that you can't spoil a 150 year old book.

This came out of the Dracula Daily questionnaire:

Almost half of the bookclub doesn't know anything about the story.

I know dracula daily is only two more days, but if we're gonna do this thing more often I would really like this argument out of the window, for all of our enjoyment and inclusion.

And if you're confused, please use this rule of thumb: if even one person tells you it's a spoiler, it is a spoiler. Add a tag that says "dracula spoilers" and you're good :)

Tl;dr:

✨People do not magically know every old story✨

648 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

#4

I made a Dracula Daily questionnaire! To see how you're all experiencing this internet phenomenon. It is a bit long, I think, but it might be fun as well.

Please reblog this so it also reaches people who don't look in the tags as much. I want as many responses as I can, of course.

728 notes - Posted October 29, 2022

#3

Arthur today

804 notes - Posted October 3, 2022

#2

Quincey's riding his childhood horse in the thickest fog he ever encountered, when a figure appears in the near distance. Quincey tips his hat as he slows down to stop in front of her.

'Why, if it isn't that lovely Miss Lucy. Say, little girl, won't you just hitch up alongside of me, and let us go down the long road together, driving in double harness?'

867 notes - Posted November 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Dracula: “Hey everybody, today Mina scared me for the second time this week, so I’m starting a kickstarter to kill her. The benefits of killing her would be: I would get scared way less.”

3,106 notes - Posted August 13, 2022

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