#it’s 1:44am my brain is very full

[dayz-ina-daze]

Y’know… When people usually make Mapleshade into a spirit of the forest, a protector of those who break the code for love, of mothers, people usually match her with Bluestar, or Silverstream, or Leafpool and Squirrelflight…

(And these are all incredible ideas that I would never dream of discrediting; they’re all SUPER cool)

But to my knowledge, no one has ever matched her with Yellowfang… Which is very interesting, because the more I think about it, about them, the more interesting such a concept becomes.

[unofficialkfamtranscripts]

King Falls AM - Episode Eleven: Ringin’ Hell’s Doorbell

View on Google Docs

Summary: October 1, 2015 - After an unexpected listener call-in, the boys find a cassette tape in the mail and listen live as an adventure unfolds from one of King Falls less-friendly hiking trails.

[podcast intro music]

[KFAM intro music]

Sammy Welcome back, everyone. The time is 4:44AM here at King Falls AM.

Ben It’s a slow night. You wanna do… weather and traffic?

Sammy It’s warmin’ up! And if there’s traffic at this ungodly hour, we got problems.

Ben *snickers* Got that right, Sammy! Uh, before we go back to the phones in a sec, I’ve got an email I’d like to read you. I think you’ll get a kick out of this. [definitely smirking]

Sammy Oh! Well, very cool. Alright, whatcha got?

Ben [eager] So, you know I wrote the producers of Mission Apparition, right?

Sammy … No. What are you talkin’ about?

Ben Yes you do. It’s that brain tumor of a show on Channel 13?

Sammy I-I- I know the show, Ben! I’m saying I didn’t know you wrote them.

Ben Dude. You’re gonna love it. I emailed trying to get them booked as guests so we could tear them apart. *snicker*

Sammy Well, I mean, they did keep the lights on a few weeks back, running an ad, of course. [not hopeful] So, please don’t tell me you got confrontational?

Ben If telling the truth about their staged scares counts as confrontational, then… [smug] I totally did.

Sammy Okay, so you accost a paid sponsor of King Falls AM; please continue…

Ben *excited laughter* Okay, let me read this to you. “Dear Sammy,”- [aside] sorry, you— left your station email up.

Sammy Uh-huh.

Ben “Dear Sammy, We at Mission Apparition are extremely sorry! you feel the show is “Overly Produced” and not “true to the nature of actual distressed spirits.” In actuality, Dan and Larry are two of the most highly trained professionals in this field. While we appreciate constructive criticism, name-calling just isn’t needed. If you have any real suggestions to make the show better, please let us know.”

Sammy Ben. [resigned] What did you call them?

Ben Doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I wrote them back, and they’re going to be shooting a future episode- of the show- in King Falls.

Sammy No way!

Ben I said “we have many fine spectral establishments here.” The gauntlet was thrown down and they took the bait.

Sammy As much as I hate to say this, you’re gonna get to see the Mission Apparition guys in a real situation at least.

Ben Oh yeah. [stoked] I’m not sure which to offer up the old Slaughter House off Cottontail Hollow or the library.

Sammy I’m not gonna make a you’re-trying-to-impress-Emily comment here, because I know that that place is chock full of activity.

Ben Exactly.

Sammy But… [semi-muttered] You are trying to impress Emily.

Ben *deep breath* Whatevs. K-ca- Okay, get this though! After I told them I was co-host of a late-night AM talk show? they asked if I’d like to come on set so I can get an interview live.

Sammy Well, book it! Make it happen!

Ben Done and done.

Sammy But please stop using my email.

Ben No promises.

Sammy Alright folks, after that exciting announcement, we’re gonna open up the phone lines to you, our dear listeners. And, uh, Ben? You got a topic?

Ben *tsk* I absolutely do, but you can’t have it until a touch after the 5 o’clock hour, Sammy.

Sammy You heard the man, ladies and gents. It’s a bonafide free-for-all for the next ten minutes or so. Give us a call 424-279-3858.

Ben Or hit us up on twitter @kingfallsam

Sammy Lucky Line 1, you’re live with Sammy and Ben.

Line 1 [deep, nasally, almost bestial voice] Uh, yeah… *heavy breathing, smacking lips* Did you check the mail? Heh

Sammy [mildly sarcastic] Maybe once or twice in my lifetime, uh, do you have a topic? Or is this Ted Kaczynski[1] calling from prison?

Line 1 Uh… you’ll have a topic sooon… heh… [ominous click, dial tone]

Ben Yoouu know I should go take a look in our mail slot now, right?

Sammy [exasperated] Don’t.

Ben It’s a verbal triple-dog-dare! I’ll be right back.

Sammy *sighs* One day, it’s just gonna be a head. I just know it. Line 5, welcome to King Falls AM.

[ominous music]

Line 5 [voice is male, higher pitched, and very nervous] Oh, I got through! Sammy?! I- I need to speak with you in private. Please!

Sammy Iii’m gonna be a little bit sir- we just came back from break. But I’m happy to talk about whatever.

Line 5 We really can’t talk about this on the air. Ehh *nervous breathing* It’s about… wwel-I- *quick sigh* - I really don’t wanna say too much, but— I sent you a text message about, uh…ohh…a month or so back? We need to speak! It’s incredibly urgent!

Sammy Sir, I get a lot of texts over the course of a month.

Line 5 W-well- we can’t talk about this on the air.

Sammy Who am I speaking with?

Ben [returning] We have mail, Sammy!

Line 5 [almost whispered] I turned the power back on…

Ben Mr. Thompson?

Probably Mr. Thompson Err— no! [click, dial tone]

Sammy Hello? Sir?

Ben What was that about? [laughing slightly] I swear that dude sounded just like my old science professor.

Sammy Can you get a number on line 5, Ben?

Ben … Yeah! Yeah… uh, in a minute! Look at this!

Sammy *laugh* Is that a cassette tape?

Ben Yeah. No letter— just a tape. It’s labeled “D.D.” [eager] We should play this.

Sammy I hope it’s Duran Duran.

Ben I’ll just stick this in… heeere.

Sammy Uh, do you think we should listen to that first? I know you got a trigger finger on the dump, but…

Ben [smugly] You’re looking at the fastest finger in the tri-state.

Sammy You know, there’s a dirty joke there that, for our friendship, I’m just gonna cruise- right on past.

Ben Where’s the play button on this hunk’a junk? Merv, why do we have a cassette player in the studio?! It’s 2015.

Sammy I think you know why.

Ben [hands rubbing together] I’m excited! [sounds of tape being inserted in the player]

Sammy You better be payin’ attention. I don’t want to hear one –

[TAPE PLAYS]

Lance [heavy Australian accent, narrating like a documentary] “This is Lance McCord checking in. I’m about 5 kilometers off the Stealth Ridge Trail now. It’s heavily wooded and just getting thicker.”

[stop click]

Sammy Do you know this guy? “Lance”?

Ben Never heard of him. But if the “R” word was politically correct for broadcast? I’d totally use it for him right now. That trail is like the boonies within the boonies.

[play click]

Lance “So far so good. I was- I was a bit worried with all the tall tales surrounding the ‘Devil’s Doorstep.’ I guess that’s why I’m talking to you; tracing my steps. Nothing strange or out of the ordinary. I have noticed a lack of wildlife and birds, to be this far in the bush.”

[stop click]

Ben … There is no way.

Sammy “The Devils Doorstep”?

Ben Definitely the R-word— or has a death wish! Or both!

Sammy Where is this place?

Ben [reluctant] It’s north of King Falls. It’s a dark-ass set of woods. Obviously, this guy isn’t from around here because he’d know you don’t even talk about it, much less go there.

Sammy Ominous…

Ben And We Don’t joke about it.

Sammy [challenge accepted] It sounds so inviting, The Devil’s Doorstep. What kind of Welcome Mat do you think the Dark Lord picks out? Do you think he has a “NO SOLICITING” sign?

Ben Stop it. I know you laugh about stuff like this, but… Don’t.

[play click]

[eerie siren-like singing in bg]

Lance “Right, about 30 minutes from my last check in. My mobile has lost signal. It- looks like it’s just you and me, pal. I lost a little bit of, uh, time. I got turned around a few minutes back. All the paths are starting to look really similar, so, it’s hard to… [ominous chant-singing in bg. there’s static/rustling/indistinct whispers that fades in and out] Still no wildlife. I don’t know if any men or women have ever stepped where I’m stepping. I kind of like that.”

[stop click, siren song stops]

Sammy Did you hear something there?

Ben NOPE! NO SINGING.

Sammy I didn’t say singing. I said something.

Ben I didn’t hear anything!

[play click]

[static or whispers in bg]

Lance “It’s getting colder now. Darker. That or my- mind is playing the tiniest of tricks on me. Voices, singing— whispers. It’s, uh– it’s head games. [siren song begins] Nothing’s gonna stop me from making it to the gate.”

[stop click]

Ben I think that’s enough.

Sammy Ben, honestly. “Gate?” I’m not following here. You’re the expert, what’s he looking for? Or- or why’s he even looking for it?

Ben COMMERCIAL TIME! Let’s do this…

[“exciting” sports channel music]

Announcer [Mexican accent] Weekdays! 6 to 9 AM, Listen to the Hector el Chavo Show! The fastest growing show in the fastest growing demographic in the tri-state area! On King Falls Deportes! AM. Every week, Hector el Chavo discusses your favorite sports with your favorite players! Don’t miss out this week. Monday we talk to Big Pine Striker, Javier Rancor. Tuesday we’ll talk to Saddle Creek midfielder, Jorge Carpe-Gutierrez! And Friday we talk to King Falls Goalie Bubba “Super Gringo” Wallis! Tune in to Hector el Chavo Show, King Falls Deportes on 730AM. Your sports capital for goal!!!

[KFAM theme music]

Sammy And welcome back to King Falls AM that’s 660 on the radio dial. We’ve just been listening to a tape we received anonymously. Apparently, there’s a hiker out adventuring in—

Ben [desperately, voice breaking] LINE 8, you’re live.

Finn Ooh boy! Things are getting tense on that tape, y’know?!

Ben Forget the tape! Ha-how-how’re you doing, Finn? Is everything— still intact?

Finn Doin’ swell, just swell! [scratching sounds]

Ben You okay there, Finn?

Finn Oh sorry! Didn’t think you’d pick that up. I’ve just been scratchin something awful the past couple weeks. I got in some poison oak, or— something – I don’t know!

Sammy Glad to hear you’re doing well, after…

Finn *growling* [scratching continues]

Ben [apprehensively] … You got a travel buddy with you tonight, Finn?

Finn Oh, no. [horn in bg] Just got cut off going down the highway, here. [muttered] Lousy drivers… [almost shouting] we got three other lanes y’know! [distracted] Ahh! Look at the food billboards!

Sammy Okaaay. Um, what’s on your mind tonight buddy?

Finn Ah, just callin’ in to say hi… that sorta thing. Plus, this story? Wooweee, who is this guy? Have you talked about this place before? I don’t think I heard you mention it… Uhh, I don’t think…

Ben Because we don’t, Finn.

Finn Spoooky stuff, fellas!

Sammy Yeeaah… I don’t know if you were–

Finn *howls loudly*

Ben I- I’m sorry. Yyou gotta keep your pup- quiet.

Finn [confused] Pup? No doggy here! Just you two fellas- and mee, rolling down the rooaad.

Sammy You don’t have a dog with you, Finn?

Finn Couldn’t if I wanted to. I’m allergic. [scratching]

Ben Are… are you feeling okay? Did you ever get checked out after that night you hit that… were— dog?

Finn What?! I wouldn’t lay hands on a pooch! Are you feelin’ alright, Ben?

Sammy *laugh* He’s talkin’ about the dog you accidentally hit awhile back. Uh, y-you got out to check on it and the call dropped off?

Finn Uh… Naooo, wasn’t me. Y’know, I think I’d remember somethin’ like that! [honking in bg, sound of semi passing] Dammit all, I gotta go, boys. Can’t scratch, drive, and talk at the same time. Finish that tape, it’s givin’ me the willies!

Ben Stay awake and- stay safe, Finn… Make a doctor’s appointment!— maybe…

Sammy Or a vet…

Finn *chuckles* Oh, you two! I’ll catch you later. *loud howl*

[click, dial tone]

Sammy Now, Ben. You know- I love what you do on this show. I wouldn’t wanna do this with anybody-else… BUT. I’ve got a tiny issue with you cutting to unscheduled breaks during conversations.

Ben [innocently] Did that happen? I’m so sorry, I just… I’m so interested in—

Sammy In doing everything but playing that tape. You got us all interested now, man. You gotta follow through.

Ben Okay– [definitely not having fun] it was fun! but I think we should just forget about it.

Sammy Impossible.

Ben S-sit down, don’t—

[play click]

Lance [wind gusting] “There’s no doubt that something is, uh, keeping me away from the gate at this point. [siren song in bg] My- watch has just stopped working, so I don’t know what time it is. I can’t really see the sun from the thickest overhangs to tell… I checked my compass [sing-chanting in bg] to ensure I was… [rustling] WHAT THE?” [creepy sing-chanting intensifies]

Super Creepy Whisper Voice “TURRRN. BAAACK. NOOOW.”

Lance “My fu[bleep]ing compass- is literally spinning like a top! There’s EVIL in these woods! You can feel it- in the air! It’s palpable!”

[stop click]

Sammy Ben! Don’t be mad!

Ben [seriously upset] We shouldn’t be playing this! This isn’t a joke, man! This is a tape that probably needs to go to the proper authorities! I’m gonna google Missing Persons.

Sammy Look, I’m not against that. But let’s finish this up, and at the very least talk to me. Tell us a little bit about the woods.

Ben If- if I tell you, will you stop playing the damn tape?

Sammy Absolutely! Help fill these last minutes until your actual topic of discussion arrives.

Ben *heavy sigh* The path, Lance is on, is called Stealth Ridge. It’s about a five-mile round-trip hike up north in- Perdition Wood.

Sammy You guys really know how to name things here.

Ben *deep breath* Okay, supposedly— as in, “legend-has-it” kind of talk, way off the beaten path— I mean WAY off, as in nobody’s ever seen it— is what he’s looking for. A cave called… [reluctant] “The Devil’s Doorstep”

Sammy Uh-huh.

Ben [agitated] Put two and two together here- Sammy! It’s an entrance to the gates of hell! Many people have went out looking for it! None have ever found it— SOME never return.

Sammy [softly] Have you been up there, Ben?

Ben Once…

Sammy And?

Ben Are you serious?! HELL NO, I haven’t been! I’m not crazy like Crocodile Dundee[1] on that tape.

Sammy I mean, he’s gotta be okay, right? The tape made it here! [getting nervous] I-it could’ve been him who dropped it off in our mail and called tonight! Right?

Ben This was fun for a minute, now it’s just massively creepy. Let’s move— [play click] SAMMY!

Sammy Du- you’re looking at me! I didn’t push the button!

[siren song]

Lance “It is so cold. [wind gusting] I’ve des-scended a great deal from the initial crest- of the ridge it seems … I saw what appeared to be—”

Super Creepy Whisper Voice “LAASST. WAARRNING. MORRTALLL.”

Ben TURN IT OFF!

[click of buttons being pressed on tape player]

[rustling/cracking in bg]

Lance “What the F[bleep] is that?!”

Sammy [sarcastically] Good job!

Ben Alright it won’t stop. Unplug it! I’m not kidding.

Sammy It is unplugged!

[creepy sing-chanting starts, chilling scream]

Lance *breathing hard* “It’s after me! … [calmer] Umm, I- I don’t know what that was. [song/chant continues in bg] I’m heading to the lip of this cove, here. I think I’m just gonna- wait it out- u-until morning. I’m wet, cold– I, uh, caught my jacket in the bush. I’m bleeding— Jesus… My, uh- my phone is missing. God dammit. It really is just you and— [rustling/cracking]

Super Creepy Not-Whisper Voice MEEE!!!

Lance “No! [impact noise] Help me!!” [sound of running, anguished scream from Lance]

[sing-chanting continues]

[KFAM outro music]

[CREDITS]

References

[1] Crocodile Dundee - Crocodile Dundee is a series of action comedy films centered around a crocodile hunter from the Australian Outback named Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee.

[kali-uchihas]

Aw I’m learning I have so much in common with my frens! I too love sharks with A BURNING PASSION, have a disgustingly sharp sense of direction, live in the water (more an ocean baby than a lake baby, standing water scares me), and live to cook for ppl i love hehehe. ( @bl1ndbraavosi tagged me shortly after you too, love u both )

1. I almost always know what time is? Down to the minute. Like I can guess “It feels like 9:44.” And boom! It’s 9:44am! It freaks out my coworkers. But further supports the notion that I know everything (—: my nickname at work is Google or Alexa (My name is Karlee). You think aways knowing what time it is would give me better time management skills, but alas: I’m still filipina.

2. While a lot of my mutes are fanfic writers, I’m used to writing individual characters in a roleplay format with other roleplay writing frens. Any time I’ve started writing fanfic my brain goes 💨, and I’m thinking it’s because I’m used to having someone write with me. Even if @changcakes complains I write too much and too emotionally. (—: fight me.

3. When I was little I wanted to grow up to be a frog. Full ass thought I could just wake up one day and be a frog. Thought that’s how things worked. I have a very artsy brain, but moreso I see the world very mathematically. Anyway, switched up the frog dream and I’m a physicist/physical engineer now. My title right now is a very basic “Lead Scientist II” but I love my job. The fun part is I can’t talk a lot about it because a large portion of it is shhh top secret shh. Not super top secret, but I have a security clearance for my job. I can tell you my favorite part of my day is focusing fuzzy lasers for fun and putting my phone inside our industrial vacuums (usually the one I built) every time I drop my phone in water. They just work so much better than rice.

4. I’ve lived in California almost my whole life! But I was born in and lived the first 4 years of said life in the Philippines. The last time I visited there was for four weeks when I was 19. I still have a lot of family there but at the same time most of the family I know lives here in the states. My tagalog is very bad, and I understand it better than I speak it. I cook my culture very well.

5. I have a perfect palette, the type good for wine or coffee tasting. I can always tell someone what their curry powder blend is missing, and no one ever complains my food is over or under seasoned. I think that comes from a very sharp sense of smell. I get sensitive to lemon scents because usually they are overpowering and give me bad headaches and I never last long in friendships with people who wear too much perfume. If you think you smell bad, most people won’t notice but I will :( but at the same time I am a friend you can trust to ask and I usually have deodorant or something with me that I don’t mind sharing. But at the same time as I can smell In-n-Out grilled in the air from 5.4 miles away (on a windy day), my fiance has such a limited range of smell???? And I’m now realizing “no, that’s a standard range of smell.” and it’s just me, my mom and my sister that are fucking smell-everything weirdos.

Get to know your mutuals

I was tagged by @cinlat get to know your mutuals!! when you get this, it means someone wants to know more about you, so list 5 things about yourself you want your followers to know. they can be as simple as your age or as complex as your deepest fear, as long as it’s something you’re comfortable with sharing. when you’re done, tag people you want to get to know better!! 🌼💕tagging: @bouncyirwin @adrilari @vibgyoroygbiv @birkastan2018 and anyone else who wants to share! 

1) I love video games and always have. I played a ton of Mario and Zelda when I was younger, World of Warcraft, I’ve dabbled in final fantasy and SWtoR, I play entirely too much Overwatch. I main healer in Overwatch and complain so much that my husband threatened to turn my headset to open mic. My favorite is ‘I can’t heal stupid, but for some reason, I keep trying’ XD

2) When I was younger I used to ride and show horses (Saddleseat). We had trail horses as well. As such, it irritates me when horses are poorly written. If you know me much, you’ve probably heard me complain about this an excessive number of times. 

3) When I first started watching Naruto, I was dead set against it. My husband started watching it first and I remember falling asleep and being so annoyed by ‘believe it!’ and ‘Narutooooo, Sasukkkkkke!’. And when he tried to get me to watch it, I said ‘I’m not watching some stupid show where they fly through the air, it doesn’t even follow the laws of physics!’ He got up to the chunin exams before convincing me to join, and because he wouldn’t leave me alone about it.’. I’m not ashamed to say that he was right. 

4)  A lot of people have told me that I’m intimidating and they don’t know how to approach me, which I don’t really get. Maybe it’s a resting bitch face? XD But I’m not nearly as scary as most people think. At least, I don’t think I am? 

5) I’m a perfectionist. I get a lot of people that say my writing is polished, but what they don’t know is that I have a triple BA in English (Literature, Writing, and Journalism). Okay, technically I’m nine credits short due to life, but that’s another story. So, I’ve had a lot of writing training, plus I obsess over details. I write a work then read each paragraph and edit it, then I edit each paragraph backwards to catch other mistakes, then I read the paragraph once more, then I send my work off to be beta read, then I read and edit the whole thing again when it comes back. If you’re wondering why it takes me so long to put out chapters, that is why. The big secret? I wish I cared less about my works and let them go when they were good enough instead of obsessing over word choices. 

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

10/26/19 2:44am - Andi 6/?

I The breakup didn’t last very long. It kind of just fell into us being open again. And then we’d hang out again. And we just still had all these feelings together and stuff. 

Did we break up twice or three times? Jesus, man. This is really hard. Reliving a whole year is so daunting I can’t even begin to tell you. Especially since my primary goals during these days were  1. Learn how to do my new job as competently as possible. 2. Do as little work as possible so that you don’t fuck up and appear incompetent.  A little paradoxical, I know, but I Really didn’t want to fuck up some studies and get canned completely. I was still making more money than I had before but just turning down the optional work to get paid extra, so that was fine with me. 3. Become the best magic player ever. I was doing that a lot during the times that I could be doing optional work lmfao.

I really wasn’t interested in pursuing girls anyway. Andi and I were still snapchatting a lot I think. Like all the time, probably. We’d always just keep talking when we’d break up and then we’d want to hang out and then we’d want to fuck and it was a pretty natural progression with how beautiful and fun we were, yknow?

I remember being single for New Years Eve. I went up to see the gang in DC and Andi didn’t want to come with. It was pretty whack. She was always full of excuses why she didn’t want to make trips to see my friends.

I’m gonna speed up a little bit I think here because I think I’ve already covered some of this, but after New Years we decided to get back together. It was after this weird stint where she had been fucking my buddy Jared and I was cool with it but still hooking up with her, and everything turned out way better than expected, really. He couldn’t get off fucking her lolol, I think he said he kept imagining me being so cool with them hooking up and felt weird or something? I don’t know it doesn’t matter. But basically I was still the best sexy sex man and we still had feelings for each other and decided to get together but she wanted me to quit smoking. and I explained to her my life growing up with my parents and my friends and my family and that Everyone in my life smokes and that I thought it would be very hard to do. I told her I’d only smoke on special occasions to start and that I’d try to slough off.

Well instead I just had more special occasions. Going out with Brain and Jwilli to do karaoke? hell yeah that’s special. Seeing Jimmy for the first time in a few months? hella special. Going up to visit Tony and his girlfriend for the weekend in Richmond? Fuck yeah I’m smoking all weekend.

Eventually I started smoking like every day except when I was with her. Which, to be fair, was most days. I spent 4 days off and 3 days on work, and I only smoked to go to sleep Sometimes. 

But that must’ve been the end of the first time we broke up and then we broke up again before new years or something?

But Andi and I were on good terms and she offered to take me to the airport to go to Hawaii to visit my good buddy Jmell. I had a phenomenal time in Hawaii. I felt like I was really exploring the world on my own again, though I did have a bit of a fallback because I could text her a bit about what I was doing, and she was still hanging out in my twitch streams and stuff.

FUCK MAN. She was SO supportive with my twitch shit. And I was for her. We’d be in each other’s streams all the time to try to help each other out and keep each other company and shit. She really was precious when it came to nerdy shit.

Actually I can’t really get into the hawaii trip here, it ruins the flow. I’m gonna do that in the next post. But basically the bottom line of the story is that she saw how much fun I was having on my own and missed that about me and loved me and wanted me back. And I was happy being on my own and adventuring, but I missed her too and loved the comfort of being with her. 

I guess this is the bad part of the relationship though, because I do kind of feel like I allowing myself to stay in the doldrums a little when I was with her. My life kind of rotated around going to visit her. I did a little bit of cool shit here and there, like went to Tato’s wedding which I didn’t get a +1 to, pretty shitty.  But what I’m saying is the flip side of being content is that things aren’t that interesting. Not that I cared, I had a sexy sex monster always ready for me to give it to her. And she was kinky as hell, I could tell her about my tail fetish and everything and she was all about it. Unfortunately I didn’t really act on it a whole lot. I’m not sure why, maybe I was embarrassed or something, but we only had sex with our tails like twice. Maybe it was just so convenient that we could just pound out some good sex? Maybe I’m inherently a lazy person and she was kind of lazy too so it was just easier? I just didn’t want to push us out of our comfort zones I guess.

🎶 If I was being honest / 

As long as I could fuck three times a day and not skip a meal I’m good 🎶 

Life was fucking GOOD. I didn’t like that on a trip back from doing karaoke with Chi and his gf I showed her Frank Ocean and she seemed like she wasn’t really about it. lol that miffs me I love that fucking man more than anything. But you can’t love everything about a person? maybe?

But she made me happy to just eat candy again and love my life. And I love her for that.

But I guess it wasn’t really good for both of us? 

One of the last trips was to her family’s in PA. I wanted to go see my grandma for Easter and invited her to come along, but at the last minute she said that her mom was starting to get sick again and asked if I wouldn’t mind going to see her family instead. I thought that was fine, her mom having cancer sucks there’s not really anything you can do about it, and I liked her family they were pretty nice from the few times I’d met them. We went up and had a pretty good time. Went to a bar and drank a little and fucked in the car in a parking lot somewhere. We had finally worked out at least THAT problem with her PTSD, though I never really made much progress helping with any of her other mental health issues. I always joked around saying that she should just try to become happy like me and just power wash your brain with 4chan shit so that you could see the humor and happiness in just being alive, but she didn’t take kindly to that. Or to me telling her that she should fix it by taking acid trips like me either. 

Anyway, we didn’t really get into a fight but I think the final breaking moment in our relationship was that we were talking in the living room with her family. She had been preparing to move to a new apartment, we had gone around doing a bunch of apartment shopping the past couple weeks (much to my frustration, I was unhappy touring a bunch of places when I felt like she didn’t really care about my taste in the apartments she was looking at and more just wanted someone to accompany her, would do it but never wear anything better than sweatpants/pajamas as per usual), and had decided on a date that she’d move in. We had also talked about the weekend before, going out with Kailey and Manu and Christina and Pacos to celebrate Kailey’s birthday because she invited us to come hang out, and it was the first time we’d done anything together in a long time and Andi said she was down to come hang out with us. The conversation with her family consisted of her dad flying down to help her move, but that the new date of her move in would fall entirely on Kailey’s birthday party. I don’t know if it was a stipulation of her dad’s? Or if she had decided on that? She said she wanted more time to move? But I said well I can help you the next day and the days after and the day before but there’s no way I’m going to miss the party. She said we’re not going to talk about this right now and that was about the end of that conversation. Turns out we never really talked about it. I drove the whole way back, and we had an unrelated fight about weed consumption going to the lake which I do believe I already wrote about, and she broke up with me via text before she could move in.

I had a blast at Kailey’s party doing coke and shit but I ended up going home and sleeping instead of going to chapel hill to get more fucked up with them. I felt really awkward about where I was staying and whatnot but this story isn’t about that.

This story is the story of how we didn’t want to end up in a relationship together, and I fell in love, and how it just didn’t work out.

I don’t know what part of it made it not work out exactly. Maybe I thought she was something she wasn’t and just faked it until we made it and then we never really made it. 

But I did really enjoy it. And I miss talking to her. I really thought I could be so big a person that I could keep talking to her after breaking up and not become obsessed with seeing her face in snapchats and lust after her so much that I wasn’t just praying that we’d end up back together like every time before. 

Now I think I’m finally over missing her. It was a lot harder before I was getting laid consistently again, I guess. I do still miss sex with her, but I guess I miss sex with most people lmfao. I miss playing with her and her doggo. I think we could’ve been good friends if either of us had been able to show an inch of restraint and not just texting each other back and forth to oblivion.

But that’s not really who either of us were. We craved each other’s attention until I cut things off. It felt so good knowing someone wanted you so bad. 

RIP Andi <3 Hope you’re doing well bruh. 

[kingfallstranscripts-blog]

Episode 11: Ringin’ Hell’s Doorbell

Sammy: Welcome back , everyone. The time is 4:44am here at King Falls AM.

Ben: It’s a slow night. You wanna do…weather and traffic?

Sammy: It’s warmin up…If there’s traffic at this ungodly hour, we got problems

Ben: *snickers* Got that right, Sammy. But before we go back to the phones in a sec, I’ve got an email I’d like to read you. I think you’ll get a kick out of this.

Sammy: Oh! Well, very cool. Whatcha got?

Ben: So, you know I wrote the producers of Mission Apparition, right?

Sammy: No… what’re you talkin about?

Ben: It’s that brain tumor of a show on channel 13?

Sammy: I know the show, Ben! I’m saying I didn’t know you wrote them.

Ben: Dude, you’re gonna love it. I emailed trying to get them booked as guests so we could tear them apart.

Sammy: Well, I mean, they did keep the lights on a few weeks back running an ad, of course. So, please don’t tell me you got confrontational?

Ben: If telling the truth about their staged show counts as confrontational, then…I totally did.

Sammy: Okay, so you accost a paid sponsor of King Falls Am, continue…

Ben: *Laughs* Alright, let me read this to you. “Dear Sammy,” sorry you… left your station email up.

Sammy: Uh-huh.

Ben: “We at Mission Apparition are extremely sorry you feel the show is overly produced and not true to the nature of actual distressed spirits. In actuality, Dan and Larry are two of the most highly trained professionals in this field. While we appreciate blunt criticism, name calling just isn’t needed. If you have any real suggestions to make the show better, please let us know.”

Sammy: Ben. What did you call them?

Ben: Doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I wrote them back and they’re going to be shooting a future episode of the show in King Falls.

Sammy: No way!

Ben: I said we have many fine spectral establishments here. The gauntlet was thrown down and they took the bait.

Sammy: As much as I hate to say this, you’re gonna get to see the Mission Apparition guys in a real situation at least.

Ben: Oh yeah. I’m not sure which to offer up: the old Slaughter House off Cotton Tail Hollow or the library.

Sammy: I’m not gonna make a you’re-trying-to-impress-Emily comment here, I know that place is full of activity.

Ben: Exactly.

Sammy: BUT…. You are trying to impress Emily.

Ben: Whatevs. Okay, okay, get this though! After I told them I was co-host of a late-night AM talk show, they asked if I wanted to come on set so I could get an interview live.

Sammy: Well, book it! Make it happen!

Ben: Done and done.

Sammy: But please stop using my email.

Ben: No promises.

Sammy: Alright folks, after that exciting announcement, we’re gonna open up the phone lines to you, our dear listeners. And, uh, Ben? You got a topic?

Ben: I absolutely do, but you can’t have it until a touch after the 5 o’clock hour, Sammy.

Sammy: You heard the man, ladies and gents. It’s a bonafide free for all for the next ten minutes or so.  Give us a call 424-279-3858.

Ben: Or hit us up on twitter @kingfallsam

Sammy: Lucky Line 1, you’re live with Sammy and Ben.

Caller: *deep disguised scraggly voice* Uh, yeah… *heavy breathing* Did you check the mail? *muffled laugh*

Sammy: Maybe once or twice in my lifetime, uh, do you have a topic? Or is this Ted Kaczynski calling from prison*?

Caller: Uh….you’ll have a topic soon…heh…*hangs up ominously*

Ben: You know I should go take a look in our mail slot now, right?

Sammy: *exasperated* Don’t

Ben: It’s a verbal triple dog dare. I’ll be right back.

Sammy: *sighs* One day, it’s gonna be a head… I just know it. Line 5 welcome to King Falls AM.

Caller: Oh, I got through! Sammy?! I – I need to speak with you in private. Please!

Sammy: I’m gonna be a little bit sir. We just came back from break. But I’m happy to talk about whatever.

Caller: We really can’t talk about this on the air. *Nervous breaths* It’s about…I really don’t wanna say much. I sent you a text message about…oh…a month or so back? We need to speak. It’s incredibly urgent!

Sammy: Sir I get a lot of texts over the course of a month.

Caller: Well, we can’t talk about this on the air.

Sammy: Who am I speaking with?

Ben (returning): We got mail, Sammy!

Caller: *quietly* I turned the power back on…

Ben: Mr. Thompson?

Caller: *nervously* Err.. no! *hangs up abruptly*

Sammy: Hello? Sir?

Ben: What was that about? I swear that dude sounded just like my old science professor.

Sammy: Can you  get a number on line 5, Ben?

Ben: Uh, yeah, yeah, in a minute. Look at this!

Sammy: *laughs* Is that a cassette tape?

Ben: Yeah, no letter - just a tape. It’s labeled “D.D.” We should play this.

Sammy: I hope it’s Duran Duran.

Ben: I’ll just stick this in…here.

Sammy: Uh, do you think we should listen to this first? I know you got a trigger finger on the dump, but…

Ben: You’re looking at the fastest finger in the tri-state.

Sammy: You know, there’s a dirty joke there that, for our friendship, I’m just gonna cruise right on past.

Ben: Where’s the play button on this hunk of junk? Merv, why do we have a cassette player in the studio? It’s 2015.

Sammy: I think you know why.

Ben: *rubbing hands together* I’m excited!

Sammy: You better be payin attention. I don’t want to hear one –

TAPE INTERUPTS – *in heavy Australian accent*: “This is Lance McCord checking in. I’m about 5 kilometers off the Stealth Ridge Trail now. It’s heavily wooded and getting thicker.”

Sammy: Do you know this guy “Lance”?

Ben: Never heard of him. But if the “R” word was politically correct for broadcast, I’d probably be use it for him right now. That trail is like the boonies within the boonies.

*Tape continues*

Lance: “So far so good. I was- I was a bit worried with all the tall tales surrounding the ‘Devil’s Doorstep’ I guess that’s why I’m talking to you and tracing my steps. Nothing stranger or out of the ordinary. I have noticed the lack of wildlife and birds to be this far in the bush.”

Ben: *stops tape* … There is no way.

Sammy: “The Devils Doorstep” ?

Ben: Defiantly the R word or has a death wish. Or both!

Sammy: Where is this place?

Ben: It’s north of King Falls. It’s a dark ass set of woods. Obviously, this guy isn’t from around here because he’d know you don’t even talk about it, much less go there.

Sammy: Ominous…

Ben: AND we don’t joke about it.

Sammy: It sounds so inviting, The Devil’s Doorstep. What kind of Welcome Mat do you think the Dark Lord picks out? Do you think he has a “NO SOLICITING” sign?

Ben: Stop it. I know you laugh about stuff like this, but…don’t.

*Tape continues*

Lance: “Right, about 30 minutes from my last check in. My mobile has lost signal. Looks like it’s just you and me pal. I lost a little of time I’ve been turned around a few minutes back. All the paths are starting to look really similar, so, it’s hard to… *ominous indistinct singing* Still no wildlife. I don’t know if any men or women have ever stepped where I’m stepping. I kind of like that”

*Tape stops*

Sammy: Did you hear something there?

Ben: NOPE. NO SINGING.

Sammy: I didn’t say singing. I said something.

Ben: I didn’t hear anything.

*Tape continues*

Lance: “It’s getting colder our and darker. That and my mind is playing the tiniest of tricks on me. Voices, singing, whispers. It’s – it’s head games. Nothing’s gonna stop me from making it to the gate.”

*Tape stops*

Ben: I think that’s enough.

Sammy: Ben, honestly. Gate? I’m not following here. You’re the expert: what’s he looking for? Or… why’s he looking for it?

Ben: COMMERCIAL TIME. Let’s do this…

 *Commercial break*

Sammy: And welcome back to King Falls AM that’s 660 on the radio dial. We’ve just been listening to a tape we received anonymously. Apparently, there’s a hiker out adventuring in –

Ben: LINE 8 – you’re live.

Caller: Oh boy! Things are getting tense on that tape!

Ben: FORGET THE TAPE. How- how’re you doing, Finn? Is everything still intact?

Finn: Doin’ swell, just well! *sounds of scratching skin vigorously*

Ben: You okay there, Finn?

Finn: Oh sorry! Wasn’t sure if you picked that up. I’ve just been scratchin something awful the past couple weeks. I got in some poison oak, or something – I don’t know!

Sammy: Glad to hear you’re doing well, after…

Finn: *low growling*

Ben: …. You got a travel buddy with you tonight, Finn?

Finn: Nah, nah – just got cut off going down the highway, here. Lousy drivers…we got three other lane you know! Ah! Look at the food billboards!

Sammy: Um, what’s on your mind tonight buddy?

Finn: Just callin in to say hi… that sorta thing. Plus, this story? Wowee, who is this guy? Have you talked about this place before? I don’t think I heard you mention it. Uh, I don’t think…

Ben: Because we don’t.

Finn: Spooooky stuff, fellas.

Sammy: Yeah… I don’t know if you –

Finn: *howls loudly*

Ben: Uh, I’m sorry. You gotta keep your pup quiet.

Finn: What? No doggy here. Just you two fellas, me… rolling down the road.

Sammy: You don’t have a dog with you, Finn?

Finn: Couldn’t if I wanted to. I’m allergic.

Ben: Are… are you feeling okay? Did you ever get checked out after that night you hit that…weredog?

Finn: What? I woudn’t lay hands on a pooch! Are you feelin’ alright, Ben?

Sammy: *laughs* He’s talkin about the dog you accidentally hit awhile back. You got out to check on it and the call dropped off?

Finn: Uh…. No, wasn’t me. I think I’d remember somethin’ like that *horns honking in background* Dammit all, I gotta go, boys. Can’t scratch, talk, and drive all at the same time. Finish that tape, it’s givin me the willies!

Ben: Stay awake and stay safe, Finn. Make a doctor’s appointment, maybe….

Sammy: Or a vet…

Finn: *chuckles* Oh, you two. Catch you later. *howls loudly* *phone disconnects*

Sammy: Now Ben, you know I love what you do on the show. I wouldn’t wanna do this with anybody else….BUT, I’ve got a tiny issue with you cutting to unscheduled breaks during conversations.

Ben: Do that happen? I’m so sorry, I just… I’m so interested in –

Sammy: Doing anything but playing that tape. Got us all interested now, man. You gotta follow through.

Ben: Okay – it was fun, but I think we should just forget about it.

Sammy: Impossible.

Ben: S-sit down, don’t –

*Tape starts*

Lance: *Threatening wind blowing* “There’s no doubt that there’s something keeping me away from the gate at this point. My watch has just stopped working so I don’t know what time it is. I can’t really see the sun from the thicket, it’s hard to tell. I checked my compass to ensure I was… WHAT THE?” *creepy singing intensifies*

Eerie voice: “TURN. BACK. NOW.”

Lance: “My fu(censored) compass is literally spinning like a top! There’s EVIL in these woods! You can feel it in the air! It’s palpable!”

*Tape stops*

Sammy: Ben! Don’t be mad!

Ben: You shouldn’t be playing this! This isn’t a joke, man! This is a tape that probably needs to go to the proper authority! I’m gonna google Missing Persons

Sammy: Look, I’m not against that. But let’s finish this up, and at the very least talk to me. Tell us a little bit about the woods.

Ben: If- if I tell you, will you stop playing the damn tape?

Sammy: Absolutely. Help fill these last minutes until your actual topic of discussion arrives.

Ben: *sighs* The path Lance is on is called Stealth Ridge. It’s about a five mile round trip hike up north in Perdition Wood.

Sammy: You guys really know how to name things here.

Ben: Supposedly, as in, legend-has-it kind of talk, way off the beaten path – I mean way off, as in nobody’s ever seen it – is what he’s looking for. A cave called “The Devil’s Doorstep”

Sammy: Uh-huh.

Ben: Put two and two together here, Sammy! It’s an entrance to the gates of hell! Many people went out looking for it – none have ever found it. Some never return.

Sammy: Have you been up there, Ben?

Ben: Once…

Sammy: And?!

Ben: Are you serious?! Hell no, I haven’t been! I’m not crazy like Crocodile Dundee on that tape.

Sammy: I mean, he’s gotta be okay, right? The tape made it here! It could’ve been him who dropped it off in our mail and called tonight, right?

Ben: This was fun for a minute, now it’s just massively creepy, let’s move – *tape starts* SAMMY!

Sammy: Dude, you’re looking at me! I didn’t push the button!

Lance: “It is so cold. I’ve descended a great deal from the initial crest of the ridge it seems. I saw what appeared to be – “

Eerie Voice: “LAST. WARNING”

*Sounds of tape trying to be turned off*

Ben: TURN IT OFF!  

Lance: “WHAT THE FU(censored) IS THAT?!”

Ben: Alright it won’t stop. Unplug it! I’m not kidding!

Sammy: It is unplugged!

*Chilling scream coming from tape*

Lance: *Breathing hard* “It’s after me! *creepy singing gets louder* I – I don’t know what that was. I went in to look at this cove, here. I think I’m just gonna wait it out until morning. I’m wet, cold – I caught my jack in the bush. I’m bleeding… Jesus. *creepy singing continues* My- my phone is missing. God dammit. It really is just you and –

Eerie Voice: ME!!!!!

Lance: “No! Help me!!” *intense screaming* *singing continues*

[unnamedjournals]

Let’s Try This Again.

For the very few people who actually used to follow this page and the one or two that have followed since I dropped off the map, I’m not dead yet. Keeping a journal only when I wasn’t doing well wasn’t the plan, for the record. I could explain but to be honest I don’t remember all that clearly why I stopped except that I know it was probably a lot of reasons. I didn’t feel like it was helping, I couldn’t make time or energy, forgot over and over and over and fuck it, whatever. 

It’s been almost two years? Over two? I don’t know, I didn’t do the math before I started writing and now I can’t scroll to check the date and time on the last entry. Doesn’t matter. 

Good hell a lot’s happened and changed since then. 

Let’s see... uh. 

A lot of this happened concurrently and intermingled but I’ll do my best to make heads and tails of it. 

Broke up with the guy I was dating in previous entries. Found out a whole lot about him recently. I was upset when he ended it but now I see I dodged a bullet.

Briefly (like a week) dated another guy, things happened, we tried to be friends for about a year and change after it but more things happened and long story short he’s not allowed to be around me at game anymore. A story for a different time. It’s a doozy.

I quit the delivery job. I didn’t feel safe driving under that much stress with the zoning out thing. Still do that by the way, it’s actually gotten worse. As it happens there was a panic attack about that just two hours ago, fancy that. I’ll come back to that though.

Started LARPing a hell of a lot more, kinda took over my weekends for a while there and I had to cut back some. I’ve played some really awesome roles though.

Turns out I’m bi? Happy Pride Month everyone. Yeah figured that out mid 2017, dated a fantastic woman for three months. Didn’t work out by no ones fault, but the only thing I regret is how poorly I handled the end of it. She was the first time I’d fallen in love, and it ended way too quickly for me, and I made a right mess of it. I’ve been meaning to apologize for the last year, but again, that’s a story for a different time.

Oh right, on the zoning out bullshit. I went to a neurologist. Two actually because the first was a sexist sociopath. So the first sent me to get a 15 minute EEG (brain wave scan) that came back saying I had Partial Complex Seizures. He then made some very sexist comments and I left. The second neurologist said he agreed with seizures but based on all my symptoms it sounded more like Absence Seizures. Buuuuuut he wanted to do another EEG to be sure, this time for 24 hours. I had to wear a shit ton of wires taped onto my head all attached to a box that I brought home and carried with me everything. Kinda cool, kinda sucky. But I did it, and even had two episodes during it that I marked down the time and what I was doing. Test came back totally clean. No sign of seizures at all. Doc said he was at a loss because I made a perfect story for Absence Seizures but completely lack the neurology so there wasn’t really anything he could do. I did just last month get diagnosed with ADHD though so that’s probably a good portion of where it started. 

I finally let go of a person in my life who was doing more harm than good. She got married yesterday. I wasn’t there. Eventually I will stop being bitter about the things that went wrong, and eventually I will stop thinking about how she is or how things might have been different if I could have stood up for myself better. Not today apparently, but eventually maybe.

I began paying attention to politics. Gonna stop there on that one, but long story short there is a part of me that now hates my father for the words that come out of his mouth.

I dropped the community college classes I was taking because I was too depressed to manage. And then started again the next semester because I thought I found a career option. Switched that career path twice before deciding to just get my associates and work from there. I only went for two semesters, but at least I didn’t drop half way through this time. I stopped going for a year, absolutely positive that I would never go back. I was just going to start working full time and build a career on experience. Didn’t really work. I’m now signed up for fall classes in apparel construction to eventually lead into a career in costume design with specialties in historical fashion and LGBTQ+ fashion needs. But there’s some emotional shit in the way, because of course there is. More on that soon, probably its own entry.

Started a new relationship after I had time to heal from the previous. We were both nervous about dating again after the hurt from our lasts and we thought we would take it slow. Slow didn’t really happen. It’s been a year and seven months yesterday, and in that time we’ve said I love you more times than I can count, we’ve fought for each other, we’ve fought with each other, we’ve cried together, we’ve laughed for hours, they moved in with me and my parents, we’ve made big plans, we’ve made small plans, we’ve lost and changed plans, they moved out of my parents house, we’ve put our relationship on the line, and we’ve nearly broken. The last few months especially have been messy. Even a summary would need it’s own entry. 

A little over a year ago I started having persistent and ever worsening pain all over my body. Every part of it. Even there, wherever you just thought of. My primary care doc sent me to a rheumatologist, and last June I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. And again by second opinion in November. For the unfamiliar, fibro is hard to pin down as a diagnosis because for so long it wasn’t really a “real” condition. It was doctors going, “Well it’s not arthritis and it’s not lupus, so I don’t know what to do but I have to tell the patient something.” And a lot of times, it still is that. But it is actually a condition with characteristics. Think of it as the whole nervous system is in fucking overdrive. Some days are better or worse than others, and where on your body can shift around, but I don’t know that I’ve had a single day in the last year and change that I wasn’t in pain somewhere to some degree. I’ve been to more doctor appointments in the last year than I think I’ve had in my life leading up to this. It’s terrible and comes with a million other symptoms. Like migraines. I get migraines now. Mostly from auditory overload, but bright light can add to it. And guess what else comes with it. It’s commonly called Fibro Fog, which is problems with concentration and memory loss. Remember how I said the zoning out thing was getting worse? Yeah. Fucking great. So I’ve got ADHD, depression, anxiety, and now fucking chronic pain all doing the strong arm clasped hand meme of making me forget shit left and right. And my shoulder and fingers have been hurting from typing but I can’t stop or I won’t have the nerve to finish and post this. 

I turned 21 the other week. Great. Finally. Moving on.

The Crash finally hit. 

I spent the first year constantly worried it would, but somewhere along the way things actually started looking good. Like not 100% of the time, but like even when outside things were bad I didn’t want to die because of it. I was handling the curve balls and enjoying life and taking a step forward every day. I didn’t always know where that step was going but I was taking one and I was damn proud of myself. And then last week. Yike. Trigger warning imminent, skip to the next paragraph if you don’t want to read about thoughts of suicide. Last week was the first time in so long, so, so long, that I imagined my own death in detail. That I came up with a plan. That I imagined carrying it out. How far down this spiral I would have to go before I killed myself. How I would feel if I got there and made that decision. And I’ve thought on it multiple times since then. I won’t describe it now, but I will say that it’s a new plan than I had before. I’ve always picked my plans on the likelihood of them working and what damage would be left with my body if I failed, but also clean up for whoever would find me. The current idea is a trade off. Worse in the way of clean up but better success chance I think and the same in the way of damage in the case of failure. (I wonder if it’s weird that I’m so clinical about this.) I haven’t said these words out loud yet to anyone. 

My mom and partner know I’m more depressed than I’ve been in a long time, so much so that I’ve considered looking at anti-depressants, but not the full extent. I want to talk to my therapist first but getting a hold of her for the phone check in last week didn’t work. Turned into phone tag. My next in person appointment is Thursday but I’m going to leave a message for her tomorrow asking if we can scoot it up because I don’t know that I can make it that long. 

Uhh. Yeah. I think that covers the recap. Fucking hell, it’s been a wild ride. 

1:44AM Sunday, June 16, 2019

[cockapoohq]

Another friend is visiting for a few days #cockapoofriends #cockapoopuppy #biggestcockapooever #cockapoofun #waitingfortreats

A post shared by Cody Bear (@codygreyling) on Nov 19, 2017 at 5:57am PST

This video was from a recent trip to my doggie sitter. My girlfriend Poppy was there too so we had lots of fun.

A post shared by Gus (@cockapoo_gus) on Sep 3, 2017 at 8:53am PDT

Happy Birthday to my wonderful friend Ted @theadventuresofsuperted !! I hope you have had a truly pawesome day, and here’s to 4 more years of beach fun!! Swipe to see some lovely memories ☺️ – got quite sentimental pulling these together! #cockapoo #cockapoofriends #cockapoosofinstagram #edinburgh #portydug #beachfun #portobello

A post shared by HettieHettster (@hettiehettster) on Jun 26, 2017 at 12:59pm PDT

Dumb and dumber going strong #cockapoosofinstagram #cockapoos #cockapoofriends #mable #millie

A post shared by joseph hill (@derby22365) on Jun 12, 2017 at 12:44pm PDT

When Lunar met Luna. #bothasbonkers #cockapoofriends #cute #spaniel #cockapoo

A post shared by Danielle (@missdmelia) on Jul 8, 2017 at 12:53pm PDT

Met a new friend this weekend. A bigger boy cockapoo. Very exciting!!!! #cockapoofriends #cockapoo #cockapoosofinstagram #puppy #doggyfriend #puppymeetingdog #littleandlarge

A post shared by Pippa the Cockapoo (@cockapoo_pippa123) on Nov 12, 2017 at 2:15pm PST

In Love with these two ❤ Finally a nice walk again ❤ #toffeeandteddy #cockapoofriends #lovethesetwo #goodboys #cockapoomoments #treattime #ashtoncourt #sundaywithdogs #autumn #blackcockapoo #instacockapoo #moredayslikethis #happycockapoos #happiness

A post shared by Anita Ana (@anitele) on Nov 5, 2017 at 7:03am PST

Goodnight everyone ❤ #toffeeandteddy #sleepydog #tireddogs #furbabies #goodboys #cockapoofriends #inlovewiththesetwo #cockapoomoments #blackcockapoo #cute #together

A post shared by Anita Ana (@anitele) on Oct 30, 2017 at 1:15pm PDT

Sniffers #toffeeandteddy #inlovewiththesetwo #twindogs #furbabies #cockapoomoments #fourleggedhappiness #seaside #offleash #happycockapoos #sniffer #westonsupermare #cockapoofriends #inseparable #together #instacockapoo

A post shared by Anita Ana (@anitele) on Oct 29, 2017 at 12:34pm PDT

Beautiful Sunday with our furbabies ❤ sun, seaside and two happy cockapoos #toffeeandteddy #cockapoofriends #cockapoomoments #lovelysunday #seaside #westonsupermare #happydogs #fourleggedhappiness #furbabies #dogtimeisthebesttime #nolead #instacockapoo #beautifulengland #happy

A post shared by Anita Ana (@anitele) on Oct 29, 2017 at 11:42am PDT

Wet walks with our new cousin Rupert #cavachons #cockapoos #cockapoopals #cockapoofriends #puppies #puppiesofinstagram #cavachonsofinstagram #dogsofinstagram #dogoftheday #f4f #instadogs #cavaliers #bichons #cavchonclub #wolfpackbros #cavachonsofig #dogsofig #doglovers #doggies #doggiepals

A post shared by Max&Leo (@cavatwins) on Oct 28, 2017 at 12:44pm PDT

Weekend sleepovers with Tilly and Toby are the best! #furryfriends #sleepovers #cockapoofriends #lifeofacockapoo #puppylove #puppiesofinstagram #puppylife #dogsofinstgram #instapuppy #puppiesofinstagram #dogsofinsta #cockapoopuppy #cockapoo #cutecockapoo #doodles #doodlesofinstagram #cockapoosofinstagram #redcockapoopuppy #cockapoolife #cockapoolove

A post shared by A Puppy’s tail (@woody_woo_the_cockapoo) on Oct 7, 2017 at 3:00am PDT

This is my best friend Merlin – I tend to lead him into mischief and mud which means my hoomin has to apologise to his hoomin @skeinheroine #adogcalledbeau #cockapoofriends #merlinthedog #dogfriends

A post shared by Beau Sullivan (@adogcalledbeau) on Oct 6, 2017 at 8:11am PDT

Our Good Boys ❤ Toffee & Teddy together again 🤗 #cockapoomoments #inlovewiththesetwo #toffeeandteddy #Toffeethecockapoo #cockapoofriends #happiness #furbabies #dogfriendship

A post shared by Anita Ana (@anitele) on Oct 1, 2017 at 1:12pm PDT

#dudleystubbie #bathtime @minishak27 @bodhiwatson #cockapoosofinstagram #cockapoopuppy #cockapoofriends

A post shared by Dudley the Dog (@dudleystubbie) on Sep 25, 2017 at 1:28pm PDT

We’re going on a road trip with our bestie @spencer.cockapoo . . . #cavachons #cavachonsofinstagram #dogsofinstagram #dogoftheday #f4f #instadogs #cavaliers #bichons #cavchonclub #wolfpackbros #cavachonsofig #dogsofig #doglovers #doggies #doggiepals #cockapoo #cockapoosofinstagram #cockapoofriends #cockapoopals

A post shared by Max&Leo (@cavatwins) on Sep 23, 2017 at 5:32am PDT

181: Well these two cheeky chaps are certainly keeping me distracted this evening, which is much needed (finally took this photo after many blurred ones…chicken treats). My brain is full to the brim…hoping tomorrow helps empty some of it. . . . #my33rdyear #ashermanssyndrome #infertility #infertilitytruths #infertilityawareness #infertilityjourney #infertilityhumour #fertilityawareness #infertilitysupport #infertilitycommunity #fertilityjourney #miscarriage  #miscarriageawareness #ttcsisters #ttccommunity #ttc #tryingtoconceive #supportyoursisters #LetsTalkFertility #1in6 #cockapoo #dogsofinstagram #cockapoosofinstagram #dogslife #bestpal #toungesout #cockapoofriends

A post shared by leahpurnell (@leahpughnell) on Sep 20, 2017 at 11:04am PDT

Cockapoo Crazy #cockapoolife #cockapoofriends #cockapoosofinstagram

A post shared by Olivia Snow (@oliviamarysnow) on Sep 17, 2017 at 5:42am PDT

Loved my walk with @buddyeyebrows am pooped now #chocolatecockapoosofinstagram #chocolatecockapoo #cockapoo #cockapooclub #cockapoosofinstaworld #dogsofinstagram #dogsofinstaworld #dogsoftheday #ilovemycockapoo #lovedogs #lovecockapoos #lovemypet #cockapoo_of_insta #dogmodelsearch #muddydog #muddypuddles #cockapoofriends #buddy #bestbud #playmates #sundayfunday #sundaywalk #walkies

A post shared by Mrs Pops – Cockapoo (@muddypawspops) on Sep 17, 2017 at 5:10am PDT

look, it’s another me !! #cockapoo #cockapoosofinstagram #cockapoofriends #dogsofinstagram #puppies #puppyfriends

A post shared by java (@java_thepuppy) on Sep 16, 2017 at 6:24pm PDT

Look mum.. he looks like me! #chocolatecockapoosofinstagram #chocolatecockapoo #cockapoo #cockapoosofinsta #cockapoo_of_insta #cockapoosofinstagram #cockapoosofinstaworld #dogsofinstagram #dogsofinstaworld #lovedogs #lovemypet #lovemycockapoo #weekend #morning #cockapoofriends #itsadogslife #itsadogsworld #dogsrule #brotherfromanothermother #beach #beachbuddies #friends

A post shared by Mrs Pops – Cockapoo (@muddypawspops) on Sep 16, 2017 at 4:47am PDT

Walking with my friend Sunny today #fawnpuppy#fawnfrenchie#fawnfrenchiepuppy#frenchiesofinstagram#frenchbulldogsofinstagram#cockapoo#cockapoopuppy#cockapooclub#cockapoofriends#frenchiefriends#instadogs#instagramdogs#dogsofinstagram

A post shared by Adventures Of Willow (@willow_the_frenchie_17) on Sep 4, 2017 at 2:01pm PDT

Buzz having fun with his mate Loxley ❤️#cockapoofriends #cockapoosofinstagram #goodtimes #dogfriends #cockapoofun

A post shared by Buzzandwoody (@buzzandwoody4122) on Sep 3, 2017 at 2:20pm PDT

We’re pals today. #posingpractice #cockapoofriends #pals #dogsofinstagram #happytuesday

A post shared by Dexter Dougal (@dexterdougalcockapoodle) on Aug 29, 2017 at 5:30am PDT

My good friend, Pierre #cockapoo #cockapoos #cockapoofriends #cockapoopals #dogsandpals #dogsdaily #dogsofinstagram #dogslife #dogsofinsta #petstagram #petsdaily #petsmart #cockapoomeet #eastsussex #eastsussexcockapoos #lovepets #happy #happydogs #happypups #happycockapoos

A post shared by Miller Moo the Cockapoo (@millermoothecockapoo) on Aug 26, 2017 at 9:20am PDT

Woof woof #cockapoofriends #cockapoo #cockapoopuppy #cockapoosofinstagram #puppiesofinstagram #puppy #dog #puppylove #cockapoolove #cockerpooofig #pet #cute #dogsofinstagram #dogsofinsta #bestfriends

A post shared by Luna H-S (@lunahs_cockapoo) on Aug 20, 2017 at 5:23am PDT

Morning walk in the sunshine ☀️ #cutepuppy #cute #cutedogs #cutedogsofig #tree #outside #sunny #sunday #walk #walkies #walking #walkingdog #pup #puppy #puppiesofig #puppiesxdogs #dog #dogs #dogsofinstgram #dogsofinstagram #dogsofig #cockapoo #cockapoolife #cockapoocrazy #cockapoosofig #cockapoopuppy #cockapoofriends

A post shared by Teddy The Cockapoo (@_the_life_of_ted_) on Aug 13, 2017 at 12:44am PDT

Look at the size difference between me and my uncle @stanley.the_cockapoo! #cockapoo #cockapooclub #cockapoosofig #cockapoofriends #cockapoosofinstagram #puppiesofinstagram #puppiesofhalifax #dogsofinstagram

A post shared by Tucker (@tucker.cockapoo) on Aug 10, 2017 at 1:09pm PDT

Say hello to the newest cockapoo on the block, my bff Gordie #cockapooclub

A post shared by Cooper The Cockapoo (@cuckooforcooper) on Aug 5, 2017 at 5:18am PDT

This is my best friend, Winston, and this is the only photo where we weren’t a blur. #cockapoofriends #play date #tiredmeout #puppylove #WatsonandWinston

A post shared by Alejandra Perez (@dogtor_watson23) on Aug 4, 2017 at 5:10am PDT

Cockapoo friends ❤ Toffee and Teddy. Together again #Toffeethecockapoo #cockapoomoments #cockapoofriends #furbabies #goodboys #waitingpatiently #inlovewiththesetwo #morningwalks #dogsofinstagram #dogbuddies #happiness

A post shared by Anita Ana (@anitele) on Aug 4, 2017 at 4:36am PDT

Biffy made a new friend #cockapoo #cockapoofriends #pups #cockapoopup

A post shared by Mark Hislop (@markoose_) on Aug 4, 2017 at 4:02am PDT

Sleepover with our girl in front, Lilly. #cockapoo #cockapoofriends #cockapoosofinstagram #cockapoolife

A post shared by Teddy & Paisley (@acouplecutepoos) on Aug 3, 2017 at 7:14am PDT

Had fun with my friend @cockapoo_harryhughes today #cockapoofriends #happydogs #cutedogs #puppiesofonstagram #dogsofinstagram #furbaby #mykidshavepaws #cockpoosofinstagram #cockapoo #happypuppy #cockapoos #lunathelilcockapoo #ilovemycockapoo #CallyandChris #harrypotterdogs #uptonogood #goodgirl

A post shared by Luna Butterworth (@lunathelilcockapoo) on Jul 29, 2017 at 12:27pm PDT

I feel so freeeeeeeee ☺️☺️☺️ #cockapoo #cockapoofriends #friends #walkies #rollover #dogsofinstagram

A post shared by Dexter Dougal (@dexterdougalcockapoodle) on Jul 28, 2017 at 3:44pm PDT

Bestest buddies!! Alfie is pretty much a brother to Bebe!! They have so much fun playing and fighting together!! #bestbuddies #cockapoo #cockapoopuppies #cockapoolove #likeabrother #cockapoofriends #cockapoobuddies #cockapoobestfriends #cockapoobestbuddies

A post shared by @shezflanners on Jul 20, 2017 at 12:07pm PDT

Lovely walk with my new friend @frank_the_cockapoo #cockapoofriends

A post shared by Dennis Dickeson Newman (@dennisthecockapoo) on Jul 5, 2017 at 11:45am PDT

Lovely walk with @dje561 and Bert #Geoff #Geoffrey #Bert #cockapoo #cockapoosofinstagram #cockapoofriends #walk #canal #thrupp

A post shared by Fay (@fay0904) on Jun 28, 2017 at 2:34am PDT

Rolling with my homiè™

A post shared by Cooper The Cockapoo (@cuckooforcooper) on Jun 26, 2017 at 5:15pm PDT

BEST CCTV my Guard Dogs ❤ #Toffeethecockapoo #windowdogs #guarddogs #cockapoo #furbabies #cctv #lovemydog #cockapoofriends #dogsarefamily #dogsofinstaworld

A post shared by Anita Ana (@anitele) on Jun 2, 2017 at 3:12pm PDT

Day 120 – Think these two had a lovely weekend staying with little Woody @woody_woo_the_cockapoo …I hear Toby has been like a big brother to him teaching him how to be a big boy ☺️ #365dayphotochallenge #photoadaychallenge #woodywoo #Tillyandtoby #cockapoosofinstagram #cockapooownersclubuk #cockapoofriends #cockapoopuppy #friendsforlife #whatalittlecutie

A post shared by Fiona Hiscock (@fiona478) on Apr 30, 2017 at 2:42pm PDT

With the new book I got one more cockapoo ❤ in love with these two ❤ *Teddy & Toffee *cockapoo friendship #cockapoo #Toffeethecockapoo #toffeeandteddy #lovemydog #newbook #newrelease #secretlanguageofdogs #dogfriendship #cockapoofriends #doglover #victoriastilwell #happydays #fridaywithdogs

A post shared by Anita Ana (@anitele) on May 5, 2017 at 9:05am PDT

Making friends . . . #cockapoo #cockapoosofinstagram #cockapoopuppy #cockapoolove #cockapooclub #dogsofinstgram #cute #puppy #puppylove #friends #wilbur #wilburthecockapoo #walk #puppywalk #park #cockapoofriends #friends #puppypals

A post shared by Wilbur (@wilbur_the_cockapoo) on Apr 20, 2017 at 6:49am PDT

The first time I met my cockapoo friend Dillon #cockapoofriends #nottoosureyet

A post shared by Ⓑⓞⓡⓘⓢ Ⓣⓗⓔ Ⓒⓞⓒⓚⓐⓟⓞⓞ (@boris_the_cockapoo) on Apr 15, 2017 at 3:52pm PDT

Max makes friends! Meet Olive “Ollie,” another cockapoo Max hangs out with at puppy play group. #cockapoo #cockapoosofinstagram #cockapoopuppy #cockapoofriends

A post shared by Maxwell Sheffield Merkel (@maxwellsheffield_thecockapoo) on Mar 19, 2017 at 11:36am PDT

Hanging out with the boys today, we all had a hair cut, then hit the beach #cockapoo #cockapoolife #cockapoofriends #chillingout #didntsitstill

A post shared by Willow (@cockapoo_willow) on Feb 4, 2017 at 1:07pm PST

Such a fun walk with my friend Murphy today love him #cockapoo #cockapoofriends #dog #dogstagram #cocker #poodle #countryside #walks #bankholiday #fun

A post shared by Ted (@ted_cockerpoo) on Jan 2, 2017 at 3:19am PST

Today I met Lola @hannahbuckx #cockapoo #cockapoos #cockapoofriends #friends #puppyfriends #cockapoosofinstagram #cockapoosoftheworld #cockapoosofinsta #puppiesoftheworld #puppiesofinstagram #puppiesofinsta #playdate #play #sit #cockapoopuppy #cockapoopuppies

A post shared by Ralph The Cockapoo (@cockapooralph) on Nov 10, 2016 at 12:29pm PST

The post 50 Cockapoos Playing With Their Mates appeared first on Cockapoo HQ.