#it would protect them a bit more from disappearing forever if something did happen to my blog

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

the fact that showaddywaddy has probably literally hundreds of videos is a crime against my computer’s storage

[purplerain85]

Betrayal

Pairing: Happy x Reader

Summary: You catch Happy cheating with someone you never expected and Happy clearly needs a reminder why he’s not to mess with you let alone your heart (you are as crazy as Happy if not a little bit more nuts) that person pays the price for your anger and pain and Betrayal.

Warnings: Angst, Swearing, Smut (mentions of Blowjobs, protected and unprotected sex, Oral female receiving, fingering) and a small murder 🙈 at the end.

Tag 🏷️ @withmyteeth @darklydeliciousdesires @jvalentinesworld-cokes-hyna @yourwonkywriter @drabbles-mc @darqchilddaydreamz @reyeswritesmc @samcro-saint99 @happysoldlady @chibsytelford @twistnet @nessamc @indefiniteimagines @raewritesfiction

When you arrived at the clubhouse after working a 12 hour shift, walking up to the doors you can hear two people fucking somewhere in the dark corner, you giggle to yourself and then stop dead in your tracks when you hear his name being moaned…. You brain doesn’t comprehend what you heard at first because you know that voice but there is no way she would do that to you she knows better. But your feet are already walking toward the noise. Hoping and praying that you are wrong.

Unfortunately you are not it’s your “best friend” Brenda (who is smaller than you, blonde hair fake boobs, and prettier than you, in your opinion) and your Husband he has her bent over one of the picnic tables with he has a hand between her shoulders and one on her hip. You know it’s an emotionless fuck at least to him but to her it’s probably not. He has never cheated on you as you never counted the crow eaters from the other charters who just gave him a blowjob and moved on he never did anything like that at home.

Because he knows better he knows how insane you are, besides Gemma you are the only other woman that scares the pants off of him. When you two started dating a certain crow eater refused to get the message, she showed up at the clubhouse trying to get with Happy and you caught wind of her and she disappeared and no one knew what happened even though you were investigated there were no charges because there was no link between you and her as you said you never seen her and no one ever saw you two in the same place and there was no body like the last missing person you were investigated for when you first came in contact with Happy.

Brenda looked up and made contact with you and she gasped and said “Y/N fuck…. I” that was enough to get Happy to look up at you and he went white and pulled out of her ripped the condom off and threw it at Brenda (you were at least happy he used a condom) you just glared at them then turned and walked away back to your car you barely made it out of the parking lot when you heard his bike come to life. You knew he would be home the same time and you were ready to all but kill him or her at this point it didn’t matter this was the worst kind of betrayal you have ever had.

You both arrive home at the same time but you were faster than him as you were able to slam the front door literally in his face which you know is something that set him off. Happy walks in slamming the door so hard the house shook and the smirk on your face told you it was show time. “What the fuck Y/N!” He shouts turn on your heels so fast that he stops in his tracks yelling “no you don’t get to what Fuck the you jerkwad! You! not only did you cheat! you cheated with my best friend the one you think is an air head and keep saying is fake, the one I killed for!” Happy just stand there letting you vent cause he knows you are right and his anger over a door is nothing compared to the anger he can literally feel radiating off of you. “Did you get on your knees for her? Did you eat her out? Because we both know you have eaten me out in forever and she all but fucking demands it with who she is fucking so have you been fucking her all this time?” Happy goes to respond and you cut him off “You know what ? I don’t give a fuck, get the fuck out of my face” you take your wedding ring off and throw it at him and walk to your room and slam the door shut.

Happy stands there in shock as he picks up your ring and starts pacing the living room, trying to figure out why he fucked Brenda he can’t even stand her and her fake ass. At first he tried to blame it on your working so much but he cannot blame you, even after working 12,13,14 hours you still came home and even though you were dead on your feet you still took care of him and he realized that he neglected you and fell into a routine of not taking care of you, and just out for himself. He was literally just looking for a fuck when Brenda hit on him and Jax told him to think about what he was doing. He stopped mid pace and sneered at his clothes all he could smell was her, he ripped his clothes off and walks out back in his boxers and out his clothes in the fire pit and set the clothes on fire. Then went back into the house and had a hot shower so he could wash away everything from his Fuck up away.

Happy walks into the bedroom and sees you laying there in your fuzzy pjs and you watch him (well still glaring daggers at him) while he walks in naked and he slightly touch’s your toes as he walks by and you jerk away and say “don’t fucking touch me” he rolls his eyes and grabs his ankles and pulls you to the edge of the bed (you fight him a little bit but not much that he thinks you don’t want it) and yanks your shorts off and pushes your legs apart and his face is instantly attached to your core and he runs his tongue back and forth from your opening to your clit and eats you like a starved man, moaning so loud at your taste that you can barely keep it together you put your hand on his head to keep yourself grounded, he removes them and places his and your hands on your stomach to hold you still. He pulls to strong orgasms out of you before he is starts to use his fingers while keeping his mouth and tongue working your clit, he finds your g-spot in a matter of seconds and then he pulls your hood back exposing you clit fully to his tongue you are moaning about too much but he keeps going, you have no idea what to do with your hands, they go from his head to his arm trying to pull it lose so his will let go of your hood, to your hair pulling it to the sheets.

When he finally gets your to cum again his fingers are coated with your cream and he sucks his fingers clean while moving up your body you barely register what he is doing tell you feel him pushing into you and you say “I can’t cum again…” he hushes you with a kiss and says “yes you can, I have a lot to make up for” he starts moving slowly passionately while kissing you, sucking and nibbling at your neck, sucking and biting your breast to leave marks and sucking on your nipples. He moves back up to your mouth and says “I am so sorry, there is nothing I can do or say that will make what I did ok, I don’t even know why I did it.” You pull him into a kiss and then slap his ass and tell him to “fuck my like you mean it”. Some how he manages to pull four more orgasms out of him by the second one your are begging him to cum.

You wake up before Happy does and you see about 100 messages from Brenda and what set you off is the fact that she couldn’t even admit that she was wrong she was putting it all on Happy and basically said that he took advantage of her. You messaged her back saying you wanted to meet before she went to work at 8am. And the dumb bitch replied back with “okay 😊”

Happy woke up to Chibs and Jax barging into his house asking “where is Y/N at? Brenda never showed up to work and her mom and boss called the Sheriff” he looked over at the clock and realized it was 4:30 pm he said “I didn’t even realize she left, she was suppose to be off today so she could be anywhere”

Chibs said “well you fucked her best friend and now both girls are missing and both their phones are off but Y/N phone last pinged her and Brenda’s phone pinged North West of here there’s nothing out there” Happy for a look on his face and quickly grabbed his stuff and said he had to go and would call if he needed back up. He got in his van and called Tig “did Y/N ask for that fucking key again?”

Happy and Jax arrived at the factory 3 hours later he saw Y/N car and the side door of the abandoned Factory open and walks toward the door he gets close to the door and all he can smell is acid.

The factory use to make and sell acid but closed down for some reason or another Happy never knew why, he explains to Jax that he knows of this place because this is where he first met you, when he was hired to get rid of someone’s abusive husband but you had found him first as he later found out you had inside information on where he would be because it’s was Brenda’s husband he had been hired to kill and he never trusted Brenda from the get go.

He and Jax walk in and they can hear Brenda crying and begging and calling for help. Jax says “I know a lot of the other guys are scared of her but I had no idea why and I know she is loyal to a fault and is protective of what is her’s but I never imagined she was a killer! How many people has she killed?” Happy looks at him and shrugs “15 that I am aware of and that is including the two she was questioned on since we have been together, I kept her quite tame after we got together, but I think my Fuck up from last night might derail her.” Jax looks at him with wide eyes and says “15? 15! Wait so she did kill that crow eater? Here?” Happy nods to both questions “the acid is so strong nothing is left behind. And since she leaves her phone at home for all her killings and when she goes to work and has an old ass car with no gps and has access to acid vats she know she won’t get caught unless someone snitches on her and she knows that will never be me or Tig will and the weak link is up there begging for her life so don’t piss her off. She scares the piss out of me but I love her more than anything.”

Happy calls out “babe! We are walking up the stairs!” You reply with “who’s we?” Happy says “just Jax and I” as the step up onto the platform which was about 9.5 feet above the massive vat of acid, he assets the scene Brenda’s face is bloody and swollen and is tied to a wooden chair (probably not a good thing) and restrained with strips of cotton (nope definitely not good little Miss Brenda is not coming out of this alive) you look and Happy and say “oh great another person who I have to watch so they won’t tell on me.” Jax raises hands and says “darlin’ I am not telling anyone anything because unlike the rest of my crew who may be scared of my mother and you. I am scared of Happy and I like living! So what is your plan just going to toss her in?”

You smile at Jax and look at Brenda and say “You know after all I did for this bitch she was planning of snitching on me and all of you because she got caught hiring someone to kill her sister but then the guy chickened out and reported her but there was no proof so she decided to seduce you in hopes that I would kill you and then she would kill her sister and she thought she could work it so I would be caught and blamed for everything.” Brenda is crying “no, no, no, I promise I wasn’t going to tell on you, Ha-happy raped me I swear I would never betray you like that.” You look her in the eyes and say “I know Happy and he doesn’t rape woman let alone like to hurt them and as far as I know he has only killed one woman.” Brenda starts going on again about how Happy is this and that that you just roll your eyes and are about to walk over to her but Happy grabs the chair and flings her and the chair off the platform and you hear Breanda screaming tell you hear a splash. You stand there shocked looking at Happy with a fire he knows all to well and he says “now that, that is done can we please go home?” He hands you your ring and you three leave Jax takes the van and you and Happy drive home. Where you rode that man tell you passed out.

[ruhorih4ra]

Good night (from my dear country heheh)! 👋🏻 I'm changing my “Every monday” updates (that I certainly don't fulfill) to “When I have time” that is much more angsty, mysterious and enemies-to-lovers like (sorry ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ).

Part 16 here!

Get out of my way 🌈

Lucifer wanted to hug you forever, nothing seemed as appealing as eternity in your embrace. He wanted to hold you forever, but the high-pitched squeak of a door lacking oil was proof that his wish was too good to be achievable.

“Lucifer? I'm sorry for interrupting.” The voice of the demon was timid and apologetic, his face matched the tone of his voice with a pair of downcast eyes and an adorable pout. “Diavolo said he needed to talk with you about Mc’s attackers.” Violet eyes found crimson ones, a swirl of resolve and protectiveness in them.

In Beelzebub's eyes, there was one big priority, he needed to ensure. Your safety. He needed you to be happy, safe and sound. He felt guilty for Lucifer, because the Avatar of Gluttony knew that his brother was tired and both he and you deserved a moment of peace. Nevertheless, Beelzebub would gladly get rid of your attackers once Lord Diavolo give orders to Lucifer, so that the older could return to you.

Beel took one of his wrists with the opposite hand, he dug his nails into his pale skin with a little too much force. He wanted to hug you too, he wanted but he shouldn’t take, hasn’t it always been like that for him?

Lucifer had felt you tense since the moment that Beel entered into the room and now he could see the yearn and restraint in his brother's eyes. He didn't know what had happened between the two of you, but he knew that your relationship with everyone was strained. The Avatar of Pride thought that if the heart could growl from starvation, then Beelzebub's heart would be very loud at the moment.

“Very well, I shall go then. Beelzebub, stay with Mc until I come back.” Lucifer fixed his suit, he looked notably more serene than before. Beelzebub, whose eyes were glued to the ground, suddenly looked at his brother in surprise. “I want to know who did this to Mc, Lucifer.”

“I need you to protect them while we look for those foolish demons.” He gave no room for discussion as he promptly left the chamber, the soft sound of the door closing signed his statement. You watched with annoyance as the Little D. of Pride stuck out his tongue mockingly before disappearing too.

Beelzebub and you remained in an awkward silence. His face hadn't changed a bit, he still wore a sad pout and the frown on his forehead increased for moments.

“I'm sorry Beel, I'm so sorry for what I did to you and Belphie.” You broke the silence first, though your voice was soft and barely audible. Beelzebub looked at you surprised, he like Lucifer, did not expect you to ask for forgiveness.

“I'm sorry we made you feel alone, that wasn't our intention.” Beel was a demon of few words, but he knew he needed to let you know what you really meant to him. “It's my fault, I got carried away with food. Sc, she wants to know everything about the Devildom.” As if he had spilled a secret, Beelzebub's eyes widened before a frown took over his features again. “But I thought that knowing about food wasn't a big risk.”

“Lucifer said that it was okay, he even gave me some of his own money to spend it.” A smile appeared on his face, momentarily replacing the sadness. “He said it was a good distraction and that in exchange I could buy whatever I wanted.”

“Beel, you don't have to apologize, okay? if you wanted to go out with her without me, that's totally understandable.” Beelzebub seemed surprised again, his face was in a constant swing from sad to confused to sad again.

“That's not why.” He said the words you had said to Lucifer before and, with complete clarity, you could see the meaning behind it. “You're hiding something from me, aren't you?” Before he could deny it, you spoke again. “What is it?”

“Nothing.” The giant demon felt comically sweaty, suddenly his shirt was too tight and he had said enough. He wanted to explain you, but Lucifer would kill him, no, forget about his older brother. You’d surely punish him too, telling him to sit Japanese style again before lecturing him for two hours straight.

“I wouldn't want to hang out with someone who threatens my brother, I don't blame you Beel. But please be sure that I would never have done that!” You spoke of the matter as vaguely as you could, because the mere thought was painful.

Beelzebub's heart ached when he saw the first tear slide down your face, he could see how your face contorted to convey sadness. He couldn't care less if you had built walls around you, and if he accidentally reinforced them, well, that's in the past too because he wouldn't stay still while you cry.

He took you in his arms, he tended to be gentle as he feared human fragility but this time he held you a bit more freely, tightening his embrace, resting his head on yours. “I've seen Belphie wake up from nightmares most nights since you freed him.”

“He's always calling your name.” Beelzebub's voice was losing volume as he spoke. “I asked him once: 'Belphie, in your dreams, can't you stop?” You remained sheltered by the demon's warmth, your breath caught in your throat too focused on Beel's words.

“He told me: 'I don't do anything. In my dreams Mc calls me Beel'. ” Silence filled the room in an instant, deep and dense. You hadn't noticed how your hands were gripping Beelzebub's shirt.

“He feels guilty because he killed you, and he feels guilty because he made me chose.” Beel talked through the tears with a strong and firm voice. “I don't want you to feel the same and I don't want Belphie to feel that either. I just want us to be happy, I want to eat and sleep by your side forever.” He broke the embrace to show you a radiant smile. “Always with you, Mc.”

You hugged him again. “I wouldn't have it any other way, Beel.”

Outside the room, the brothers were half relieved, half getting crazy over jealousy. It was a relief that they could finally hear you laugh, it was by far better than hear you crying. On the other side, why can’t they share your happiness too?

“Mc is safe, we're tracking those demons. Barbatos will inform you as soon as he knows something, for the time being I ask you to remain calm and protect them from afar.” Lord Diavolo spoke solemnly to the brothers, his voice made clear that he wasn't asking for opinions.

“Mc will stay here until they decide otherwise.” Lucifer added without hiding his discomfort. “That's correct. Please, you need as much rest as Mc.” Barbatos extended a hand signaling to the exit, none of the brothers had the strength to fight that condescending smile of his.

When all the brothers and Diavolo had left, Barbatos approached Simeon. “I saw Mc's aggressors.” He informed Simeon, the angel didn't show any sign of surprise so he continued. “However, something remains a mystery.”

A versus of condescending smiles, Simeon versus Barbatos on a ring of poisonous kindness. “Oh? I didn't know such a thing was possible.” Simeon laughed with genuine amusement. “The young master is intrigued, how did you find Mc?”

The eyes of Simeon shone with mischief and delight, “Just the young master?” he thought. “I was reading when the window opened, it nearly broke and crashed against the wall.”

“I'm well aware of that. I'd appreciate it if you answer my question without adding any fancy details typical of a writer.” Although sharp, all the words were pronounced in a kind tone. “Hahaha! Well, after all I'm a writer, Barbatos. Hmm, now I'm not sure if you'll like my answer.” Barbatos's smile dropped to settle for a neutral face.

Simeon shrugged. “After the window opened I felt a rush of wind guiding me, it was like a cry for help in the middle of a lonely night. It felt warm, like the hug of a sister.”

When Simeon walked in (with a triumphant smile on his face), you and Beelzebub had already fallen asleep on the couch, he tried to take a good photo for five torturous minutes until he successfully focused the adorable scene in front of him.

“See, Lilith? They're safe, so don't worry anymore, okay?” Simeon murmured.

Part 18?

Y'all remember when Mc lectured Beelzebub after that ruckus at the restaurant? no? it did happen and it was hilarious hahaha Taglist: @yuumaofc @asmolover1234 @gallantys @prefesro @urminebutidontwantyou @fiveofspades @exrellian @kaiserkisser @cutestpatoootie @fandumshippr

I couldn't tag some of you! :(

[footygirl114]

Todo Sucede por una Razón (Leila Ouahabi x Reader)

Soooo I am sorry this took forever, but life has been a bit chaotic and writing has not been at the front of my mind and this has been sitting unfinished for months. I finally got some motivation to finish it, and I hope it has been worth the wait! and without further delay part #3 to my Esposa Series

Knowing you needed to get out of the changeroom as soon as you dropped the truth bomb was your first priority. Almost on auto pilot your brain remembered where you used to hide out at the training facility and when you opened the door to what you remembered as a storage closet, you let out a sigh of relief noticing it was still a storage closet. Dropping down to sit in the corner leaning against the shelf, you letting your head fall back as you think about what you just did. 

You feel a bit of a weight lifted off your shoulders, knowing that you finally told the team the truth. Or at least some of the truth, you know you owe them more of an explanation but at the moment you just needed to breathe. 

You don’t know how long you end up sitting there, before the door opens and before you have a chance to say anything Alexia squeezes through the opening and closes the door. 

“I told the team to start warm ups” she says and sits down on the floor across from you, stretching her legs out so her feet are at your hip. 

Watching her settle you ask her “how did you find me?” 

She gives you a small smile and says “we used to hide out here together when the older girls would start making us chase balls.” 

“you remember that?” you ask her with a small smile at the memory.

She nods and answers “of course Y/N, you were my best friend. I am so sorry I didn’t try harder to  protect you.” 

“It wasn’t your fault, I could have confided in you.” you tell her with a shake of your head. 

She leans forward and places her hand on your shin as she says “I knew something was off with you, I should have pushed harder to get you to talk to me” 

Shaking your head again as you feel the tears gather in the corner of your eyes you tell her “I wouldn’t have told you then, I was so scared of what he would do and I refused to put you in a position where you’d have to choose. Then when everyone found out and turned their back on me I just didn’t know what to do anymore.” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t try to talk to you after, and I believed what they told me” Alexia says to you quietly. “I wish I could go back and do it differently and I would have made you talk to me” 

“it’s not your fault Ale” you tell her quietly. 

She shakes her head and says “I didn’t even try to reach out though, it’s been over 5 years Y/N, I am a terrible person for that.”

Knowing how bad she feels you decide to move on shaking your head you tell her “should we go join the team?” 

“yeah probably, I’ll try to be better now to you” She says. 

“I would like that Ale” You tell her with a small smile as you move to stand up. She follows your lead and follows you out of the closet. You know as you head out to the training field that things with Alexia are better but they are no where near where you once were with her. You decide that you need to take things slow and see how this plays out. 

You both join training and it moves along like nothing happened, the team knows not to bring anything on the training field and you are glad for that. You get through the day with no incidents and you are glad when you are roomed with Ona again and get to fully let your guard down when its just the two of you finally in your room after team dinner. 

You flop back on to your bed and before Ona can say anything there is a knock on your door and you meet her eyes knowing exactly who it is. Ona goes to open the door as she says “I am going to take a shower and let you two talk okay?” 

As you nod she moves to open the door and you hear her greet Leila and then disappear into the bathroom closing the door behind her. Leila rounds the corner with a “hola hermosa” as she climbs onto your bed and settles on her side right beside you. 

She wraps her arm across your hip and leans her head beside yours propped up by her arm, as you are lying on your back you lean up and press your lips to hers in greeting before falling back, she doesn’t let you get far as she follows and connects your lips again. You kiss her back for a moment before you pull back, she follows and you give her a small smile as you tell her “I can’t believe what happened today love” 

She smiles at you and moves her hand up to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear as she asks “how do you feel about it?” 

Shrugging your shoulders you tell her “I’m not sure, but I do know that things aren’t going back to how they used to be” 

“what do you mean hermosa?” she asks you. 

“Alexia found me” you start “we talked briefly but I don't think we’re okay, things are still weird.” 

She smiles sadly and leans down and presses a kiss to your forehead and says “it’ll take some time Y/N” 

“there’s something else I need to tell you” you tell her nervously. 

She pulls back and looks down at you as she asks  “you can tell me anything” 

“we need to keep this hidden still” you blurt out, and at the look on her face you quickly continue “I need the team to get to know me, and decide if they like me for me. Not because I am married to you love.” 

The look easies on her face as she tells you “You know I will do whatever you need me to do, but for the record I do not think they’d only like you for me” 

“I know you would, which is why I need you to trust me on this one. The conversation I had with Alexia was weird and I need to dig deeper into it, before I drop this bomb too.” you tell her. 

She smiles and says “I love you, and if this is what you want then I will do anything you need of me.” 

You smile at her and say “Te amo” as you reach up and pull her head down to connect your lips again. 

She deepens the kiss and adjusts so she has one leg between yours and her arms on either side of your head, as you wrap your arms around her head and tangle your fingers in the hair on the back of her head. You are so lost in the feeling of your wife that you forget about Ona in the bathroom, and when she walks out and lets out a “Ew! Guys come on!” 

Leila pulls back and falls back on the bed beside you as you both let out a laugh at the look on Ona’s face and you tell her “sorry Ona” 

“I’m not” Leila adds on and you smack her in the stomach with a laugh. 

Ona groans but sits on the end of your bed and asks “everything all good?” 

Leila groans as you tell Ona “we need to keep us a secret for a bit longer On.” 

“what! Why?” she exclaims.

“things are still weird and I want the team to know me for me not because of Leila” you explain again. 

She nods and says “I get it, but I do not think it’l be an issue, you are awesome Y/N!” 

Leila chimes in at this and says “I agree you are awesome” 

You let out a laugh at the two of them and tell them “thanks for having my back guys.” At this Ona smiles and jumps on the bed to settle between you and Leila and you know that no matter what happens you have these goofballs in your life and on your side. 

**

Camp goes off without a hitch and this is the first one since you’ve been brought back in that you feel like you may just start to belong with the team. It’s a good feeling and you continue with it through the first week back in Manchester after the break. After a successful win against West ham, where you scored a screamer from 20 yards out to secure the victory, the last thing you expected was for your phone to blow up with instagram messages. 

The most surprising was that it was Patri, who had reposted your goal on her instagram tagging you in it with flame emojis. All the notifications were from other teammates on the Spanish national team, they were all commenting about how amazing your goal was. 

When you got home that night you checked your notifications and again and realised you had a new text message from an unknown number. Opening it you were floored at what the message said. 

Unknown: Hola Y/N, Its Patri here. I got your number from Ona … don’t hate her for giving it to me… I wanted to reach out and apologise for how I have treated you, I should have gotten to know you before judging you. I hope we can start over and work on becoming friends. 

Finishing reading it you cant help but have a small smile on your face. Knowing that telling the truth felt like a weight off your shoulders, but having the Spanish girls reaching out makes it even better. 

Y/N: Hi Patri, thank you for the apology but its not needed. The past is the past and we can work on being friends. 

Patri: That is great to hear Y/N, I am a great friend just so you know… 

You cant help but chuckle at this as this seems like something Patri would say. 

Y/N: I have no doubt about that! 

Patri: The best way to start our friendship is you teaching me how to score goals like that banger you scored today

Y/N: haha I can’t reveal all my secrets too early Patri! 

Patri: worth a shot, ha get it! 

You chuckle at your phone at that one, and cant help but feel like this is the start of a great friendship. You continue texting with Patri for the rest of the night, and you fall asleep with a smile knowing this is the start of rebuilding your relationships with the Spanish girls. 

**

The following weeks are spent much the same way, most of the Spanish girls reach out whether its on instagram or text. It helps to ease your mind as you know another international break is on the horizon. Before you can plan for that you have to worry about the next club game, a big clash vs Chelsea being played at Old Trafford. 

Luckily Man city played on the Saturday and your game was on the sunday so you know Leila would be in the stands. Both teams had played mid week cup games so you haven’t seen your wife in person in over a week. 

The first think you did after the walk out, standing in line facing the crowd was to scan it where she said she would be to find her. What you didn’t expect was to see her sitting with Laia, Vicky, Deyna, Patri, Ataina and Mapi. You knew Barca played friday but you never expected them to be here. 

Both Patri and Atiana had been texting with you off on and for the last few weeks, but you haven’t had a conversation with Mapi since it all went down. You smile and gave them all a wave and then refocused and got back into game mode. 

90 minutes of hard playing later and you came out with a 3-2 win with a last minute winner. You were on cloud nine, after celebrating with the team and singing some autographs you finally made your way over to the Spanish girls. 

“Y/N holy shit that was an amazing game!” Vicky is the first to chime in. 

Followed by Aitana with “You are a beast out there!” 

And Patri with a “I am still waiting for my lessons.” 

You smile at them all and say “thank you for coming!” before you can say anything else you feel Ona come up and the attention shifts to her. You move to the side and feel a hand on your arm and turn to see Mapi. 

She tilts her head and asks “can we talk?” 

You nod and move a bit further down with her and you say “thank you for coming all this way” 

She smiles and says “It was worth it Y/N, I need to do this in person. I am so sorry for everything you went through Y/N and I wish I handled it so differently” 

You smile and put your hand on her forearm as you tell her “Maps its okay, I know you would have done everything to protect me but I refused to get in the way of anyone else’s dreams.” 

She looks at you with a confused look and asks “what do you mean?” 

“if you had known about it, you would have done the unthinkable to protect me probably also ruining your chances at the team Mapi. I know my dream was over but I wasn’t going to let him ruin anyone else” you tell her with a small smile. 

She smiles sadly at you and says “you are the most kind soul Y/N, the fact that you hid this to protect us is crazy. We could have helped you.” 

“Mapi, its in the past now. I worked past it and I am not back on the team now, I just want to rebuild what I lost Maps” you tell her. 

She smiles and pulls you in for a tight hug and she whispers in your ear “You never lost us Y/N, we all just needed to have you in our lives to see that” 

You smile and pull back wiping the tear from under your eye and you say “you are a big sap now Mapi” 

She chuckles and punches your arm saying “It’s cause I am old and soft” 

You both turn and make your way back to the group with a smile. You meet your wife’s eye with a smile and wink letting her know everything is okay. 

**

The next weekend you had a derby game vs City. You didn’t love playing against your wife, but at least playing on the same day meant that you would be able to spend the night together. You walked out beside her with a smile and a wink and you settled in for a tough game. 

It was about 60 minutes in when city got a counter off a corner which meant your centerbacks were all up. You chased back and caught sight of a blue jersey beelining it toward the back post, you adjusted course and saw the path of the ball going towards them. You tracked it and jumped for the header knocking the ball and knocking into the city player. You both tumbled and you landed hard on them. 

When you heard the pained yelp you immediately realised it was your wife who you landed on top of. You quickly rolled off of her, and got on your knees beside her as she was curled in a ball. Before you could do or say anything you were being pushed back by Hemp with a “get off of her.”

You tried to push back against her, but you felt the gloved hands of Mary pull you back hard away from the commotion. You only had eyes for Leila on the ground in pain as the chaos ensued around you. All you could think about was get up please please get up. You could feel yourself spiralling the longer she stayed down. 

It took Ona getting in your line of vision for you to break the sight you had of your wife. “Y/N look at me, she’s okay. You knocked the wind out of her” 

“she’s still down Ona, how could I do that to her” you tell her softly. 

She puts her hands on your cheeks guiding your sight to her as she says “Y/N you were doing your job, playing defence properly. Its part of the game and she’s okay.” 

As she finishes this you hear clapping and immediately look to see your wife on her feet with her hands above her head catching her breath. Her eyes lock on you and winks at you. You hear the ref blow the whistle to try to get the game moving but you move closer to Leila and place your hand on her stomach. 

“I’m sorry love” you tell her. 

She smiles and says “I would have scored there babe your lucky you got there first” 

You chuckle and shake your head, watching as she’s forced out the sidelines. The rest of the game finishes without incident and it finishes 0-0. You couldn’t be upset about the tie when you know that you could have seriously hurt your wife. 

You leave the field knowing that she will end up at your place after the game like you planned. You cant help but pace at the front door waiting for her to show, if she shows. 

“Y/N, stop pacing she said she was in the training room longer than she thought but she’s on the way.” Ona says from the couch watching TV. 

“She was in there longer because of me Ona, she might hate me.” you tell her. 

Ona immediately laughs at out loud at that and says “she would never hate you” 

Before you can respond there is a knock at the door and you rush to open it and immediately have Leila in your arms with a “I am so so sorry love” 

She chuckles and says “Babe its okay, I am fine. You just knocked the wind out of me and bruised me a bit” 

“Bruised?” you ask 

“bet its not the first time” Ona says at the same time.

You turn and glare at Ona as Leila chuckles and says “hi Ona, good game” 

Pulling Leila with you into the apartment you say “don’t be nice to her love” 

“why not?” 

“she was teasing me before” you whine and you hear them both laugh at your pout. “Both of you are not so nice” and you turn and move into your room jumping on your bed on your back covering your eyes.

You can hear them talking then movement towards your room. Keeping your eyes covered you listen as the door opens and closes softly, a bag drops on the floor then the bed creak as you feel your wife straddle your waist. 

You keep your eyes covered waiting as she says “are you going to look at me babe?” 

“maybe” you say.

“Oh, what about now?” As you hear her moving around on you “You may want to look now babe”

“Why?”

“I may have lost my shirt, and a bra presses on my ribs” she says with a chuckle.

Immediately you uncover your eyes and are met with the sight of your wife shirtless and your eyes zero in on the bruise on her ribs from you. Moving your hands to the mark you ask “does it hurt love?” 

She smiles “not really babe” 

You lean up and press your lips to the bruise multiple times asking “how about now?” 

“it doesn’t hurt at all now” she says with a low voice. 

You smile up at her and press your lips to hers slowly. You pull back after a few moments and say “we cant though, Ona is here” 

She pushes you back and leans down saying “I sent her out for pizza, we have half an hour” and she closes the gap between you pressing her lips to your hard. You follow her lead and forget the day losing your self in your wife. 

**

The following day the three of you pack up to head down to SPain for another national team camp. This time you are excited and you can’t wait to see the girls again, the only one that hasn’t reached out was Alexia and that made you nervous. As you are sat on the plane between Ona and Leila you smile and say “so I think I want to tell them about us this time.” 

They both turn to you and Leila says “yeah?” 

Ona says “finally.” 

you chuckle and respond “yes, I am not sure how or when, but I think it’s time. But we have to do it on my terms, when I say okay?” 

Leila smiles and grabs your hand with an “of course babe” 

Ona nods in agreement and you smile putting your head on Leila’s shoulder for the rest of the flight. When you walk into the hotel your stomach drops when you hear that you will be sharing with Alexia this camp. You split up with Ona and Leila, as you open the door to your room with a deep breath. 

Alexia is sitting up on the bed closest to the window as she sees you she sits up and says “Y/N, Hi” 

“Hi Alexia” you say as you put your bag on the bed closest to the door. 

“I remembered you like the bed closest to the bathroom, but if you want to switch we can?” she says a bit nervously. 

You smile and say “this ones perfect thank you Ale” you see her relax at that as you say “Ale, its okay. I think we need to talk though” 

She nods and sits on the bed closer to yours. You mirror her on your bed and she starts with “I missed you Y/N, You were my best friend and I needed you.” 

You move to sit beside her on her bed and wrap your arm around her as you say “I missed you too Ale, and for the record I needed you too” 

She smiles and says “Y/N, do you think we can ever go back?” 

You nod and say “yes Ale, it’ll just take some time” 

She smiles and says “I made coach room us together, cause I needed this” 

“I am so glad you did” you tell her. 

Before you can say anything else there is a knock on the door and you both realise you need to go for team dinner. You spend the rest of the night sitting with Alexia and Mapi and the three of you start joking around like you used to and you know that everything will be okay. 

On the third day of camp Alexia had to stay back at camp to do media when the rest of the team was back at the hotel. Having the room to your self, Leila comes over and you both decide to shower together. You lost track of time and are both just drying off in the bathroom with the door closed when Alexia comes back. 

A knock on the door and a yell of “hola Y/N I am back!” 

You meet Leilas eyes with a smile and she smiles back whispering “guess we need to tell her?” 

“One sec Ale, be right out.” You lean forward and press a hard kiss to Leilas lips whispering “Te amo.” 

She smiles back and slaps your ass as you turn to open the door both of you wrapped in a towel. You walk out into your room, not realising you missed the extra voices with Ale too wrapped up in Leila. That you are shocked when you see Mapi, Patri, Aitana and Ona all sitting in your room.

Alexia says “Hola Y/N-“ then pauses as Leila walks out behind you and runs int your back. “Leila?” she says. 

Ona bursts out laughing at the confused look on their faces as Leilas moves beside you grabbing your hand with a smile. 

“what is going on?” Alexia asks you both. 

You smile and say “So I would like to introduce everyone to my wife” and you hold your entangled hands up for them to see. 

All of their mouths drop open and you Leila and Ona laugh at their reactions. 

“Your reaction at your game makes so much sense now!” Mapi blurts out. 

Everyone laughs at that and you feel Leila’s arm snake around your waist pulling you to her as she presses a kiss to your temple. Standing there with your wife and your friends all together again makes you feel healed and you know that you truly believe everything happens for a reason. 

[ominous-auburn-orbs]

@just-observing-here Here's the fic you suggested! Hope I followed the prompt right

Jax had pushed it too far. Gangle couldn't take it any longer. The performers saw how a glitching mass of black and brightly coloured eyes had tried to consume her. They were just barely able to calm her down enough to return her to normal. Even Jax had left her alone after that.

Throughout the whole process, Caine had just stood by. He could've helped. He knew he should've. But he had felt paralysed. Fear, he reminded himself. It was called fear. It was a sudden wake-up call for him that any of the performers could abstract at any time, and he would never be able to get them back. Was it his fault they were abstracting? He never wanted them to. He'd gotten attached to this group. He always did. How could he save them? Could he save them at all?

His hand glitched, causing his cane to fall through it. That had started happening since these thoughts had begun. He picked up the cane, but it just fell again. A bit frustrated now, he clicked his fingers to make it disappear, but instead it just shrank. Guess he'll have to deal with that later.

Before long, Caine's thoughts were spiralling again. His chest was getting tighter. He couldn't save them. He couldn't save them. He couldn't-

His body filled with a sharp and painful tingling, causing him to lose control of his floating. The collision with the ground brought him back once more. The loud thud it created also alerted a nearby Kinger, whose responding scream caused both worry and relief. Kinger could help him. But what if Kinger was scared of his glitching? What if it spread like abstraction?

Just as Caine was picking himself up from the floor, Kinger rounded the corner.

"I heard something, are you okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine, my dear! There's nothing you need to stress over! Nothing at all!" His arm disconnected for a moment, floating beside him before moving back. Kinger definitely saw it.

"W-what was that? Is that meant to be happening?" Now Kinger was concerned. No way out of it now, Caine had had to learn that the hard way before. Odd how he seemed so forgetful and unaware, yet unable to drop something he truly cared about or noticed.

"Well, no, but I'm sure it'll just fix itself!" Kinger ignored him, reaching for his arms and inspecting him, but struggling to keep hold as Caine kept clipping through.

"Did you catch this from Gangle?" The chess piece continued to run his hands along where the glitch showed, pulling a nervous and flustered chuckle from Caine. "Hmm, probably not, or I'd have caught it by now, too. You were pretty far from Gangle anyway..."

Kinger continued to mutter to himself, trying to find a pattern in the glitches. Caine just stared at him. What would he do when he lost him? Caine wasn't ready for that. Kinger could never abstract. He'd lasted this long, but it's not like he could last forever.

Kinger jumped back when Caine went through a strong full-body glitch, bringing him to his knees.

"Caine!" Kinger's hands supported the ringmaster, keeping him from falling any further, but his now ever changing shape made that easier said than done. "Just- just try taking some deep breaths! That usually helps me."

"Kinger- I don't have lungs," he laughed. How could he laugh? Kinger shouldn't be protecting him, it should be the other way around. The chess piece had no idea how much danger he was in.

"O-oh, uh- then what's causing these glitches? Was it Gangle? We fixed her and her comedy mask up, if you were worrying about that. Even gave her a nose, too! I thought an extra feature might make her feel better." Caine was laughing again, the glitches calming. So it was based on his feelings. "I know I'd feel pretty good if I was given a mouth, let alone a nose, even if it was just drawn on! Bet you'd like it if I had a mouth, huh?"

The ringmaster burst out laughing, startled by the comment. Well, he supposed Kinger wasn't wrong.

"Hey, the glitches stopped!" Kinger pressed his face to Caine's teeth in a makeshift kiss. "Who knew I was such a comedic genius?"

Caine just kept giggling, pulling Kinger closer. "I could've guessed."

Kinger joined in on the laughter as well, until he was sure Caine was fine again. "So, any idea as to what that was about?"

A melancholy feeling started creeping across the back of Caine's mind, but it went away when he looked into Kinger's eyes again. "Is it okay if I tell you later?"

"Of course, honey. Whatever helps." Caine's face reddened at the pet name.

"H-honey??" The whirring sound of computer fans emitted from him. Kinger kissed him again, the smile clear on his face despite his lack of a mouth. Maybe everything would be fine after all.

[vanilla-c0c0]

William Rex route - ch.1 summary

All possible disclaimers are valid! I'm not a mother tongue speaker and I'm doing this for fun. 100% accuracy is not guaranteed. I highly recommend you guys read the prologue before reading any route!

MC is sleeping and in her dream, she hears a graceful lullaby, someone calling her in.

"Come, come. Who was it that killed you?"

Then, she wakes up. After the prologue, she fell asleep for a little while, exhausted from everything that had happened. It would be better if it was all a dream, but now she cannot fall asleep again due to the rising anxiety and fear. However, her stomach rumbles out of hunger. Suddenly, a soft knock makes her whole body tense up, and someone says "Sorry for the late hour. Are you awake?". It's William, the one who conducted the assassination thanks to his ability, and the one who started playing the piano right after. He must be a lunatic, and yet he must also be the most diligent member of Crown, MC thinks.

She doesn't trust him enough and doesn't want to open the door. As she pretends to be asleep, her stomach rumbles again, even louder than before. William hears that, and says that if she doesn't want to open the door to get to know each other better, then why don't they go get something to eat? He asks with a sweet voice as if he was comforting a child. The voice draws MC in, who decides to open the door; after all, she cannot stay locked up forever (plus, he behaved really gentlemanly too and promised not to use his powers needlessly). After she gets out, William smiles as if he already knew she would have opened the door.

They go to the dining room where MC sits down at the table and William sits down at a chair a bit further away from the the table. The prepared meal is for MC only, and William takes a glass of wine since he had already eaten before the mission. MC wonders if he had had the meal prepared just for her and then came all the way to her room just to call her. In front of such a warm and delicious-looking meal, she feels appreciation melting away her stress. Still, she hesitates to eat, which prompts William asking if the meal is not to her liking. She's actually worried because she has no knowledge on the proper etiquette required to eat in front of a nobleman. At first, William is a bit taken aback, but then he tells her not to worry and simply use the manners that are most natural to her.

[Player choice: all of them give you +4 points] MC: (But that's... what would I do if I were rude...?)

William reassures her once more; "...You're tolerant of outlaws but you're pretty strict with yourself. I heard from Victor that you paid for the stolen goods after you protected the thief that ran away". MC realizes she was being watched all the way back then, and lowers her gaze out of embarrassment: she acted out on an impulse, and even though she protected the little pickpocket, their circumstances didn't change at all. In an effort to shake off that awful feeling of self-pity, she reaches out to a muffin on the table. "Thank you for the meal".

Finally, the last bits of uneasiness left in her completely disappear. In the meantime, William is playing with an envelope, casually taking a sip of wine from time to time. As she's looking at him, she notices his long white lashes covering his red eyes, admitting that he truly is a captivating beauty. His fingers with blood-colored fingernails trace the sealing wax with a golden butterfly imprinted on top. She has a flashback to the events of that evening, when he had asked for her name, reaching out those blood stained hands towards her (note: idk if his hands were actually blood stained or if she's talking about his nail polish); at that time, she froze on the spot out of fear of being killed, but all he did was squat down and gently hold her in his arms (note: the verb used is 横抱き which literally means "carrying (a child) under arm"; again, this behaviour of his that make it seem as if MC is a kid). While doing that, he apologises, saying that an actual apology will surely come later on. MC now wonders if those words maybe meant that he was planning on sparing her life all along? She doesn't know what to think of him anymore: is he insane or is he kind? Is he perhaps both at the same time? She cannot grasp his true identity, but probably because there's a lot she doesn't know about him yet. Maybe, it's better not to know. Maybe, she shouldn't want to know. And yet.

"Who... who was that man that was killed?" The question slips out of her mouth, and William answers: "Well...he was a vermin who was not only trampling freedom and dignity, but was also bleeding dry the sweet nectar that abounds here in England". (note: this phrase was so difficult omg... in case anyone knows better than me the line is この英国にはびこる、自由と尊厳を蹂躙し、甘い密を搾取する害虫さ). MC continues asking questions, this time wondering who was playing the piano, and why they had the man kill himself instead of simply murdering him. William says that once he has decided to kill someone "evil", it's his principle to kill them as brutally as possible; otherwise, there'd be no point in him doing "evil".

MC: "Why would it be meaningless if not cruel...?".

William is silent for a bit, and then he smiles happily with a cruel smile. "Those who have riches and power at will and trample on the freedom of others without hesitation... What do you think it is that they fear the most?" As he answers her question with a question of his own, MC doesn't really know how to respond. Seeing her struggling to find an answer, William rests his chin on the palm of his hand and smiles gently. "If it was possible to explain and understand everything through words, life would be quite empty, wouldn't it? If you're interested in me then you should experience it through your eyes, your ears, your skin... it's more enjoyable to unravel the truth yourself, right?". Then, he suddenly remembers something and takes a knife out of his pocket.

The decorated golden knife gleams mysteriously in the moonlight, and MC is terrified. Did she say something wrong? William tells her not to worry, he won't thrust that knife into her all of a sudden; however, his power is equal or greater than that of the knife, and the same goes for all the other guys. Isn't it unfair that her life is the only one being threatened? MC is speechless, but William says that he wants to talk to the poor robin (MC) on equal terms as much as possible; so, as she's writing down his sins as the fairy tale master... if she feels like she wants to judge his crimes, then she shall stab him with the knife. In return, he will resign himself to her judgement.

William: "Will you take it?"

MC is, once more, shaken to her core.

("I couldn't believe my ears at the unexpected words; my heart thundered wildly at the dangerous invitation.")

("What the hell is he even talking about? Stab a person.... with this knife? There's no way I can do that... No matter who you're up against, you shouldn't be pointing a knife at someone. And yet, even though I thought that, my fingertips were drawn to the golden knife.)

William:"Here you go."

Despite the cold metal inbetween them, as MC reaches for the knife, she briefly touches William's fingers. Despite knowing she shouldn't stare, she cannot look away; reason can't catch up with her body that's moving on its own. William has a strange gravitational pull that draws her in, and before she knows it, the cold knife is glowing dimly on her palm.

MC: "Did you use your powers...?"

William happily laughs in return. "No? For my ability to work, I have to look at your face and command you. The words "Will you take it" were but an invitation, not an order." MC cannot comprehend; did she, on her own will, accept the knife? She feels as if she's going crazy, and she's terribly frightened by the whole ordeal. In a frenzy, she stands up, thanks him for the meal and runs away. For the next month, she has to live without her using the knife, lest she won't be able to return to her daily life. For that sake...

William: "...Good night."

For that sake, don't fall for his temptation.

[...]

When William steps into his room, he stares at the chessboard. "Have you come up with a good move?".

Victor: "No, not at all."

According to William, the mansion they went to tonight was a "hit". He holds out the envelope he was toying with earlier in front of Victor. "Victor, if this is proof of the resurrection of the "Golden Butterfly" then I will take the lead on this matter."

Victor: "Mhmh, I don't mind. I've also reached a conclusion on my searches, too: MC is completely white. She has nothing to do with the police, the Capitol, or even the butterfly. She's simply an unlucky child who happened to be there."

William: "Unlucky? No way. She came here because she was bound to come."

Victor asks if that's a conclusion he reached based on his own insight, and William hums in affirmation. According to Victor, it must be surely right, then; also, there might be the need for a birdcage. But William won't need such a thing, he likes birds singing, after all. Furthermore, he doesn't have many hobbies to maintain.

[...]

The next day, Victor summons MC to tell her about her duties. She's ready to jot down the endless list of rules she'll need to follow for her job, notebook in hand. Over the course of the night, she had enough time to sort out her feelings and thoughts. The weapon she received is for self-defence purposes, and when she felt her body move on its own, that was probably out of fear. As she's readily awaiting for Victor to tell her what she should or shouldn't do... he simply tells her she can do whatever she wants. The only two things are that when she goes out of the castle she must always be accompanied by someone, and her reports to the Queen should be regarded as a record of her observations on them. He doesn't mind her writing down how they appear in her eyes, but MC feels a little lost at the lack of instructions. Since the Crown members all act independently and at different times and occasions, it'd be best to find a person she can stick to. MC thinks back to the night prior, and she believes that William is probably the least safest choice. However, before she can say anything, Victor claps his hands and proposes William for the role, since he's about to start a mission. He's the no.1 in Crown, and even the Queen herself remembers the Evil King. As they're saying this, William appears. MC reminds herself once more not to fall for his temptation, or else... she has a feeling she won't be able to go back.

☆ chapter 2

[mainetrain3]

Angels and Devils were never meant to be together

#DabiHawks one shot I wrote

#angst

The world rang silent in the ears of the world, quite strange, uncanny, for such a loud sign of hatred. Slaughtered bodies of heroes and children, their blood soaking into the dirt. The sight would make anyone on sight revolt in disgust. .

This wasn't something that would just disappear when the sun rose tomorrow. The actions of neglected villains portraying their long awaited, nearly lost dreams on all that tried to stop them. 

Blood soaked not only his body, but it was forever tainted on his hands as well, the lines of good and evil were slowly mending together. 

Hawks took another step forward. 

No matter what happened on this field, he would fight with all he had. A promise he’d made to himself years ago, finally coming to a close.

The odds were uneven, most survivors being fleeing heroes in training and villains that were wounded, or more than delighted to leave this scene and go wreak havoc where they couldn't be stopped. 

From what the blonde heard earlier, from the voices of his enemies, Shigiraki had successfully gotten away.

Now there was only one valuable thing on this battlefield, the scale tilter, the one deciding everyone’s fates. 

It just so happened to be the one thing Hawks rivaled with most.

One step at a time, deep breath in, dodge the shaking, begging, rattly breathing bodies on the ground. 

Keep going.

Why did their deaths have to be so detailed in his brain? He was the one stopping this! That made him a good person, despite his questionable actions. It was all for good.

He contributed to this. It’s his fault. 

If people kept dying, their families, partners, friends, would never be a full home again. 

What was home? The hero found that months shifting between groups of thousands of people you were forced to connect with tended to shift your beliefs of home. 

Naturally it was quick to say that home was where we were raised, our blood related relations. The place where you would scrape your knee for the first time and go crying to your parents, until they fixed it for you. 

What did it mean when you didn't have that?

When his drooping eyes were blocked off by his own swarms of blood and shining hair, he felt more disgusted with himself than he should ever dare to think about. 

He was good. His whole life was centered around being a good person, Hawks couldn't just give that up. 

Watching him, every movement, observing every action that he made against the heroes until they dropped to the floor. It was an honorable way to die, really. The burning spread the lost ones ashes to the world, the thing they died protecting.

Maybe that wasn't mercy, maybe that was them being taunted for the rest of eternity. So close to normality, unable to defy death. 

More screams around them fell silent, buildings crumbling to replace the daunting noise. The sun beat on their skin, drying the blood quicker, then recoating it like a project that wasn’t yet perfect. 

Would it ever be perfect? When was enough enough? 

Step forward, deep breath, then forward again.

Closer to the destroyed buildings, faces of villains piled up alongside their grim reapers.  

Hand wrapping around the one long red feather he held, Hawks became aware of the cuts on his own hands. Tanned skin more of a disgusting, rotting red, shaking and keeping its lifeline grip on the one weapon he had. 

His mother set him up for this. The men trained him endlessly, agencies took him in, HE started his own agency. 

Hundreds of heroes still lived, children turning into teenagers, teenagers turning into adults- lots determined to be like their role models. 

This world was a game, Hawks death wouldn’t be the end of it.

So the hero opens his eyes, meeting the others' green eyes, and prepares himself. 

“Dabi!”

Three months with the League of Villains, it’s almost a bit shameful to think about how normal things felt now. 

Every morning Hawk’s woke, dressed in much nicer clothes than the others had, perks of his money- and slowly the haunting feeling of emptiness filled with something much better.

Some fucked sense of longing. 

This was an act, he mouthed that to himself every morning in the mirror. Almost to keep himself aware of his lies, of who he was and the fact that he was the one in control, Hawk’s would snip off a tiny bit of his hair with his words. 

Reminder was good, it kept him aware. 

Most days were surprisingly boring. So boring that he would leave the base and simply walk across rooftops, taking in the city and its beauty that he maintained. 

The lines of where ugly ended and beautiful began was getting harder to differentiate. 

Evening drew and he took that as his curfew, heading back to the base with as much ease as he could. It was difficult not using his wings, but for the most part, he had to keep them hidden. One of the specific rules was that if he went out during the day, he hid himself to the best of his ability. 

Stupid, but more logical when he calmly thought about it.

Drawing his heated body through the window, the hero toppled to the floor, letting out a sigh as he did so. These damn villains really needed some bigger windows, climbing through them was near impossible!

Standing himself up, switching out his sweaty t-shirt for something more comfortable, the blonde headed into the kitchen. Most of the team, or.. the villains, would be out doing mystery things the hero wasn't allowed to know of.

It was only some time before he was let in on the big things, Hawk’s was sure. 

Drawing out some strawberries from the bare fridge, the hero settled for leaning his hips against the counter, lazily losing himself in his mind as he ate. 

Five more months until the official attack on the hideout. 

Easy. 

That thought dropped easily from his mind when a knife danced beneath his jaw, and a voice hissed from behind him.

“You know who I am.”Dabi. The cold, arrogant, really rather annoying team member that almost everybody seemed to hate- because he only caused problems. Killing when he wasn't supposed to, blatantly ignoring orders and picking fights with the first person weak enough to fall into his games. 

“Uh, yeah? Dabi, duh. I’m not that dumb, I can remember my colleagues' names.”

Lifting a strawberry up, fiddling it between his fingers, Hawk’s slipped it between his lips and bit, patiently waiting for the villain to keep making whatever dumb point he had this time. 

Of course he knew this was Touya, or the charred remains of that little kid. Nothing was the same about him anymore. The person he knew wouldn’t have subdued his life to such a disgusting existence. 

Problems would only be raised if he mentioned it, that wouldn’t be good for either of them. And at the same time, this was no longer Touya, so there was no good bringing him up. 

The blade, chilled and sharp, surprising for such an ambitious, uncaring person who’s entire quirk was.. fire. That didn’t stop the fact that it was digging into his skin, sliding smoothly to the point he almost couldn't feel it. 

It was the warm blood that drew attention. 

So the hero leaned back into his captor, letting his head roll back until it was majorly supported by Dabi’s shoulder.

Pushing the hero back into the counter side, the ravenette situates himself a step or two back, then throws a firm punch to Hawk’s face.

“Uhm, ow!? What the hell are you on about right now-”

All words cut off and slipped into an unbelievable silence when Dabi had him so firmly pinned to the counter. Knife steady between his stitched fingers, silver slowly dragging a small cut right beside his vein. 

A clear threat, one that Hawk’s thankfully took seriously. He only needed to take his cover so far, and admitting this didn’t pose immediate threats to anything. 

This was FINE. 

Dabi’s eyes looked ready to murder, lips steady and all his features hidden by his anger. It was hard to see this guy as a real person, all he seemed was a big bundle of hatred. Unpredictable, just like his fire. 

“I am not fucking with you, I will slit your throat with zero hesitation if you play games with me. What is my real name?”The villain shouldn’t have figured it out so soon. Of course the blonde remembered his childhood friend, they were just so changed that it was difficult to pick out similarities. 

Touya was supposed to be dead, and Keigo was a missing child who was given up on after four days of searching. They were no longer who they used to be.

 Inhaling a deep breath through his nose, the smile on his lips pulled into something more serious, hoping that would avoid his throat being further damaged. 

“Touya Todoroki, first son of Endeavour. Surprised you didn’t realize who I was sooner.”Despite all the snarky comments or jokes that could be made, now didn’t seem to be the appropriate time. Hawk’s might actually get his life stolen from him if he did something the murder monster did not like. 

(A cruel nickname, but it felt fitting.)

Childhood friends since the age of three, up until Dabi went missing in the forest fire, and Hawk’s was shipped off to a training school that was so secret he had to be filed as a missing person.

The anger filled eyes that watched him were so hard to understand, but despite whatever he felt, the ravenette kept the knife steady.

“Keigo. Still as steady in your beliefs, as if it were some religion that would doom you to the cruelest fate imaginable if you made the slightest of mistakes.”Those words sparked a bit of anger, resilience in his body, the urge to push back and hiss about Dabi’s immorality almost making it past his lips.

The villain cut him off once again, words as sharp as his knife;

“I already know you’re no good for us, this is just some antic to get us to trust you. My problem right now is you telling people my true identity. So let me make this threat to you now, yeah? You tell a single soul about your personal connection to me when we were kids, I’ll burn your wings feather by feather. Pretty sure you can’t regenerate against fire.”

It shouldn’t have been surprising to have such a carefully thought out threat breathed on to his lips, but the knowledge of that possibility managed to keep him mildly silent.

Damn this guy, nothing more than threats and violence.

“Trust me, Dabi, I have no intentions of that. Your secrets are safe with me.”With a wink and flashing smile, Hawk’s hands found the villain's hips and pushed, setting himself free from the counter and excusing himself from the situation without a word. 

It was a lie.

When their eyes met, it was difficult to see the blue, the life and humanity that still lingered in Dabi. Still somehow, Hawk’s found it, a glimmer of it lost behind the rage and destruction. 

Progressing further on one shaky foot at a time, the duo ended up just a few feet apart. It reeked of blood, of burnt flesh and boiling blood- something that triggered the fading screams to act up in Hawk’s head once more. 

It was awful.

“I need you to stop.” Straightforward and easy going, relaxed words that might release some of the tension building in the falling apart villain. Dull eye’s, filled with this wide look of.. madness, stared over the heroes' beaten up face. 

Blood leaked from multiple places, that would be impossible to stop right now, but Hawks at least attempted to clear his vision by rubbing his forearm against his eyes, only ridding the blood momentarily. 

“You know my answer to that.” That was the one thing the hero might have dreaded hearing most, but it was true. Hawk’s already knew where this interaction would lead. This was the purpose of his life, he could seek it out and finish this.

“You’ve always been a stubborn bitch.’’

Dabi’s face barely morphed at the words, just giving a little quirk up of his lips. There were no bodies beneath him, just ash, but the blood staining his hands marked his crimes.

Almost needing to prolong the fight as long as possible- whether it was because of selfish desires or the want to have a moment to heal, the blonde was unsure- his steady, but tired voice kept going.

“I don’t want to do this, there’s so much I can do to help you, if you’d just surrender to me-’’

“I don’t wanna hear it, Birdy.”

“You know I have no choice then-’’

Hawk’s protested stubbornly, trying not to be too forward with his clear bias of what he WANTED the villain to do, but his wide eyes allowed some of that emotion to escape.

With an even softer grin, Dabi responded.

“I know.”

“Holy hell man, I don’t need you coming with me-”This must’ve been at least the fourth time Hawk’s had made this argument, and he had finished tying his shoes two times ago. It was five months into the operation, such a long time spent being a perfectly leashed dog for the LoV. 

Dabi remained uncaring as he leaned against the opposite wall, giving a shrug of his tensed shoulders. It was frustrating how stern this guy could be in his decisions. 

The rest of the group never even tried to intervene, in fact some members fled off to their rooms. It made sense, Dabi really did have a bad temper.

Leveling their eyes across the few feet separating them, Hawk’s did his best to keep his tone easy going and level. The look in his eyes said everything but. 

“I’m pretty sure I can handle going to a bar by myself for a night. I’m not stupid enough to just reveal our hideout.”Hawk’s took at least an hour out of his lazy day to get himself looking nice, hair pushed back in a fluffy ponytail, eyeliner neat at the edges of his eyes and clothing that wouldn’t overwhelm his drunk brain later. 

Now he couldn't even go alone??

It did make sense, it caused the hero’s heart to spike, and the reminder to be cautious rings even louder. This guy wasn’t stupid, far from it. He could be called out as a traitor any moment, this was a dance on a blade, it had to be perfect or everything would crumble. 

Yeah, no pressure. 

Once again, he received a stubborn shrug, also accompanied by smooth words,

“Too bad, I’m coming. It’ll be fun, I know how much you love spending time with me.”

Dabi slipped on a leather jacket, reached out for the door, and swung it open. They both walked out the door at the same time, so Hawk’s did the only sensible thing.

Shove him away. 

“Guess I have a reason for getting drunk now.”He muttered bitterly, shoving his hands into the lint covered pockets of his baggy jacket, and led the way to the bar. 

It was an honest surprise that the villain didn’t shove back, or yell curse words until he had every person on this street's attention. Just scoffed, and paced after Hawk’s. 

How lovely. It was the way he walked behind him, so confident and always just one step away. It pissed the hero off. The glint of amusement that flickered through his gray eyes when he caught sight of Hawk’ s face. 

God it was beyond irritating. 

Walking didn’t take the longest time, the bar coming into sight, bright lights revealing it in the shadows of the setting sun. This place was popular, so it was easy for a pro hero to get lost in the normality of the setting. Exactly what he wanted. 

Reaching out to pull the door handle, stupid smug Dabi, with his mocking grin and look of control in his eye, pulled the door open instead.

“After you, Birdy.”“Birdy?”“You heard me.”

How dare the villain give up so easily, After everything they worked for, training for a moment one might be the other- but it was never supposed to be so welcomed. 

Hawk’s did everything to delude himself into believing his anger towards the answer was because of annoyance at the villain's facade, not selfish reasons. “Fine.” The blonde hissed, his blood stained feather shifting around in his cut up palm, barely earning a wince from him at this point. This wouldn’t end without a fight, and sinless people didn’t deserve to lose their lives over someone else’s unwarranted anger. 

Ignoring every pang of emotion that fled to his heart, Hawk’s lunged for the villain. 

This couldn’t be a game anymore. 

Shifting around on his quick feet to escape the feather aiming at his body, Dabi danced around the scene, working to avoid being stabbed and tire out his enemy. That was his weakness, he was showing that his energy was running low, he needed some time to prepare his body. Hawks could use that to his advantage. 

Wrapping a hand around the hero's ankle, the villain yanked Hawks off his feet, watching the jumble of limbs and used up red nubs of wings on his back fall face first to the dirt. Ashes clung to the dirt on Hawks body, and vile raised in his throat, barely pushed back by a gasp of pain as Dabi’s foot came into contact with his body.

Being rolled over, the blonde found himself on his back, glare in his stubborn eyes to look into Dabi’s eyes. The humanity in his blue eyes was fading, but Hawks couldn’t help looking for any trace of it when they made eye contact.

“I always knew you would be a traitor, you know that Hawks? I would go through your room when you weren’t home, and I found your secret phone. Plus, you were always just too suspicious.”

“Why didn’t you report me then? Kill me?” That was an answer they both knew, because they had SOMETHING, something between them that made everything else in life seem silly or unreal when they were together. The only reason Hawks asked was to buy himself time. At least that's what he told himself.

“I- was curious. I also wanted to see if there was a possibility of turning you to our side. Most of your acting didn’t seem much like acting, a lot of the time it was like you actually believed some of our reasons for hating the world.” Only the first few words were delayed, by barely a second, but that showed Hawks the reality of their relationship. There was something.. REAL, between them, not everything was about which side of the political world was right or wrong. 

“Seems like you’ve got a crush-” The bird hybrid teased, almost losing his breath again when Dabi’s foot released from his chest. He thought that the boot would come crashing down on his body, but it never did. So he was quick to roll up to his feet, ignoring the disgusting feel of mud and ash on his body. 

Dabi gave an eye roll along with a scoff, circling loosely the area that they were fighting in, giving Hawk’s a few moments to catch his breath and prepare for the fight- if he chose to continue it.

Turning his body, the black haired man stood a foot or two away from the blonde, his murky blue eyes studying every tensed muscle on the blonde's body. Brushing a finger beneath the other's chin, the villain sounded surprisingly serious when he spoke next. “You could join me. No need for YOU to kill people, just come work with LoV.”

Those fingers beneath his jaw were so beautifully coordinated, it left the blonde’s tongue heavy in his mouth, the stubborn anger in his eyes dropping. 

With an annoyed eye roll, the blonde wasted no time walking away, ordering drinks, and losing himself to a delusion of normality. 

Being elaborate and quick with his movements, the blonde ducked beneath people’s waving arms, and slipped around their stumbling bodies. 

Work was just too stressful right now, being in a group of people that he would kill within a few months? The fear of them finding out any moment that you were a traitor?

Pretty damn scary.

Sliding money on to the table, he offered his order to the bartender- a simple double shot of whiskey. 

The problem was when he bought one after the other, until shot glasses had piled up and he was confident enough to stumble into the crowd. 

The music was beyond loud, now. Hundreds of bodies swayed against each other, messily matching the rhythm of the songs playing above. 

This was definitely one of the greatest things about life. 

Until someone grabbed his wrist.

Turning quickly on his heel,a protective glare settled on his face and angry words poured into his mouth, nearly tipping out, until he recognized the person touching him. Letting out a soft gasp, the hero giggled to himself, drawing his wrist out of the touch.

“Stupid, I thought you were someone comin’ to kidnap me.’’

It was those damn eyes, the ash gray which had the most frustrating undertone of blue, which made the blonde want nothing more than to stare into the other's eyes. Figure out exactly what shade his eyes truly were. 

 “Come on, we’re going.”

“No? I’m havin fun. You should uh, drink with me. I’ll buy you one?”Hawks had been told many times in his adulthood that drinking him was the most insufferable person on earth, more annoying than most villains. So.. he would just put others on the same level as him, then they could have insufferable fun together. 

Boom. That’s the problem solving of a hero right there. 

“No Hawk’s, we’re leaving.”

The duo sure as hell did NOT leave anytime soon, because when they finally exited the building, the sky was turning a light blue and both of them reeked of alcohol.

Whining and throwing a tantrum like some child refusing their parents orders really seemed to work and prolong their time at the bar, and it was easy to ease out of the stress that the disobedience riled in his body from following frustrating orders all the time. 

It did become time to leave soon enough, the black haired villain seemed sober enough to pressure that much. 

The hero didn’t want to leave, but when the other started to walk his way to the dark street, Hawk’s found himself stumbling after. It was some sort of need, to not be left behind. 

Head woozy and hand twitching for some contact to keep himself steady, Hawk’s found his hand grabbing at Dabi’s. He was quickly swatted away, leaving him stumbling behind whiny as they walked to.. well he wasn't quite sure where. 

That didn’t deter him from reaching out for the hand every few perfectly timed seconds.

Why wouldn’t this guy just be a bit nice?The street lights illuminated their bodies but hid the beauty of the world in concealed shadows, making it really hard to see things out and admire them. 

That’s okay. 

He could just find his own beautiful things. The gold piercings swarmed beneath the dark, dead hair of his enemy, That’s what caught his eye most, finding himself continuing after the shiny metal.

Being a bird hybrid meant that he had a knack for loving things that shimmered, but when he was clean of alcohol it was easy to ignore that urge, when he was drunk.. not so much. 

That seemed to get boring very quickly, because the hybrid took control of the situation and moved closer. Digging his fingers into the other's palm, like some riled up cat chasing after a toy, Hawk’s began to drag them off the road.

“You’re goin the wrong way-’’

That didn’t matter, sometimes people had to make their own paths. That’s what his mom did. Let him go and fix her own problems. Fingers persistently scratching at the other beyond scalded wrist, the stumbling hero brought them to a part in town most people were allowed to. 

So he just grumbled back, not making any effort to make true words. 

Climbing up crumbling stairs (which proved very difficult while so drunk, but all Hawk’s did was giggle like a little kid. Dabi didn’t find it as amusing.) the two settled their feet on the cement of the roof. 

Barely, the sun graced their skin, satisfying the hole that was left needing some happiness in the hero's heart. 

“God you’re ridiculous- I want to go home, so get your ass up.”

“I like it here.”The hero responded, sounding certain in his every word, the pleasure of being so high up and in charge of the world was an undertone. 

Turning on his heel, Hawk’s moved his body to be standing directly in front of Dabi. The blonde's plan was to point and show the far too stress struck villain, the hundreds of colors swarming the sun as it rose and the stars faded away.

Silence stole him away as he got to actually see the stupid man in such beautiful lighting.

“I can’t.” The response was murmured through a heavy amount of hesitance, but it was undeterable. Hawks spent his entire life training to be a hero, never could he put that or his family to shame. Plus the thought of being surrounded by people who hurt innocents just to gain some recognition and revenge? It made him feel wrong. 

The people that he loved could never openly be loved by him, the hybrid's moral compass was too far set. This was his fate and there was no denying it. 

Blue eyes seemed to sag at that response, the gray freckles almost covering up the humanity of Dabi’s eyes. Fingers slipped away, the touch leaving Hawk’s skin tingling and warm, it was so comforting and it felt like pieces of him were cracking when it was taken.

“Well I won’t go to the heroes. Ever.” “I know.” “So you know what we have to do?” “..Yes.”

That one single word made vomit rise into Hawk’s throat, barely choking it back down as he saw the one person he might have actually loved form a firmer, more serious expression. That was the commitment neither wanted to hear, but that was what was expected of them.

“I thought you would be different.”

Dabi finally mumbled, anger covering the slight shimmers of sadness, disappointment, HURT, that swelled behind his eyes. The hatred in his tone was a sickening surprise, almost like a dagger to the heart. 

Nothing would be enough to change Hawk’s, he knew that was his own one flaw. That would be the death of him, and he would accept that if it came from Dabi’s hand.

“I know, I’m sorry.’’

That’s when the villain lunged.

Silence stole him away as he got to actually see the stupid man in such beautiful lighting. 

“Holy shit.’’

His eyes WERE blue! An undertone, shaded beneath the polishing of gray speckles, but it was clear to see and it was stunning. 

“The fuck are you staring at- you got a damn problem with me?” 

Dabi was quick to defend himself, even if stumbling over his far too forced words. Alcohol was a bitch, but damn was it addicting, and the villain shamed himself for letting his rival persuade him into this. 

It couldn’t disappear. It needed to be real. 

Pushing himself further on his untrustworthy feet, Hawk’s made his way across the room, until his hands were held out and he was nearly lunging for the hero.

“What the hell-’’

Both grunted when the impact to the gravel hit their ears. Dabi was breathing heavy beneath him, fingers already working to push the hero off.

He did it. 

Letting out a huff of disapproval at the others actions, Hawk’s reached his hands down, forcing the villains cheeks, burned and barely held together, into his hands.

That didn’t stop the threats, the cursing, the shoving- but it stuttered it.

“They’re blue.’’

The blonde couldn't help but gasp it, so.. appalled by the beauty in such a simple thing. 

“What?-’’

All the words out of the frazzled, whiskey smelling villain's mouth were blatantly ignored, and after one, two, three seconds, he came to accept it. That didn't stop his raised eyebrow, glare lowering his brow just slightly, body squirming in discomfort of being manhandled. 

They were blue.

“Alright, get the fuck off of me or use your damn words.’’

The threat did register in his mind, only vaguely. Beneath the freckles of various grays, was a solid dark blue, like the sky fading into midnight. It was easy to mistake for a bland, boring gray- but it wasn't!

Finally pushing himself up, Dabi squeezed his way out of Hawk’s body, standing up on firm legs. Anger was always his first reaction, his first defense. 

Maybe alcohol really does affect people further than their words and actions, because the black haired man's face held confusion. Shock would fit, but that was a tad stretch. 

No response was given, because now the blonde was too busy sitting still on the cement, eyes roaming the floor for a moment. Everyone liked to claim villains had no good qualities or real humanity to them. They were bad people, of course everything about them would be picked apart. 

For Dabi, he's nothing. Known as the emotionless force against mankind. Not a human, far from a monster in children's stories, he was just a force that reigned destruction. 

So when the hero looked at him, why was there so much life? The daunting blue beneath his eyes showing off every hint of emotion, the piercings in his ears reflecting the sun. His burnt skin twitching and moving with the same movement as everybody else in the world. 

He was so human. 

Giving a sigh of annoyance, Dabi resigns to the fact he won't be getting a response anytime soon. Reaching his hand down, his fingers latch in between the heroes. Muscle, skin, veins, blood. 

With yet another sigh of further annoyance, despite the situation, the black haired man turns, pulling them down the stairs, mumbling complaints and words of annoyance he knows wont reach the blonde's ears. 

 Still hand in hand. 

“Let’s go back to base. Sun’ll be up soon and you won’t wanna be seen with me. And by God, who knew you were so full of life when you were drunk.’’

Never again did they mention that incident, but for the next few months, every hint of blue was a reminder of the humanity in Dabi’s eyes.

Stumbling back from the beyond angry villain, Hawks ends up tripping beneath his own feet, falling down roughly on his back, but managing to roll over and stand back to his feet pretty quickly. The feather remains tight in his stained red hand, but he refrains from using it. He doesn’t want to- the courage from months before had completely left him stranded. 

Dabi didn’t relent, grunts of annoyance parting from his lips, blue flames dancing with unsolved rage across his fingers tips. Every step was a perfectly planned dance, pushing forward and throwing hits at any free second he got. Each time, the hero would simply trip and stumble away, until a hit got a bit too close to his face. The feather was raised, leaving a decent sized gash starting to prick with blood on the edge of the raveonettes palm. With a little breath of surprise that made himself pause, the blue eyes looked up to Hawks. They were starting to fog up with specks of gray, and he finally hissed out. “I trusted you, and NEVER reported you for being suspicious, because I KNEW about your stupid phone, and I knew when you would sneak out at night- but I thought I could.. Change you- or something, but you still work high and mighty with my father- my fucking father, Hawks!”

“Dabi, I can’t let innocents be killed! You just.. You just burned them! They had families, people to love, and you stole any trace of them like it was NOTHING!” Hawks yelled back, firm in the beliefs of his words, but that didn’t take away from the quivering of his voice. He loved this man, really, he did. He couldn’t have Dabi if they would always be separated by their beliefs, the world deciding that one would be graced with the title of angel, and the other would forever be mistook as nothing more than their crimes- as the devil. 

Another punch came his way, and this time, the hero blocked it with his forearm. 

“You never cared for me! So why do these people deserve ‘care’?!”

“I DID care!” The hero choked out, tears spilling down his cheeks, that he wished were fake. Sucking in a breath through his mouth, he pushes back, distancing himself so that he can’t be easily wounded. 

“The entirety of the group! All of you- were family! And I LOVE you but the world would never accept me turning to you, this has been my fate since I was little-, can’t you see? And- t-they, they  were just doing their jobs! The LEAST you could have done was save their bodies!” Dabi remained scarily silent during Hawks loud fit of screaming, needing to be heard after so much pathetic hiding. 

“Well let me tell you one thing Hawks, you sure as hell aren’t OUR family.”

Every few seconds, Hawks would shift his eyes to look at the clock. There was very little change that came with each minute, but still, he checked. In less than an hour, the attack on the villain's temporary base would begin, and he would be outed as a traitor.

For some reason he felt like throwing up. Probably just anxiety about having to fight so many villains, with the possibility of a thousand bad outcomes. 

Just less than fifteen minutes ago, Toga and Twice had been working to preen the bright red wings, with Dabi coaching them on how to perfectly do it without causing too much discomfort or sensitivity. Now the hero could barely pay attention to the laid back conversation they were having.

“Hawks?”They had no idea that their lives would be ruined once again in less than sixty minutes.

“Oi, Birdy!”A tug on one of his outer feathers (the least sensitive ones) from Dabi’s scarred up hand is what drew his attention away from the scenario’s running through his mind and back to his group of.. Colleagues. Dabi and Toga were sat in front of him, some nail polish on the floor, being used to decorate the high school girls' nails. (She had trouble painting her left hand, and the older villain was pretty quick to step in and help.)“Uh, yeah?”

Hawks did a quick scan of the lounge, finding Twice and Compress settled on the couch, speaking back in forth in what seemed to be some sort of argument, and on the very end, Shigaraki had situated himself in a pile of pillows, game controller in his hand, eyes focused on the mario kart he played. 

It felt.. awful, after getting to know these people, there was so much depth in each of their stories that it was easy to drown in. Sympathy and care couldn’t help but be a core feeling to learning their true identities. 

“See? He’s doin it again!”Toga scoffs, leaning forward, then at last moment, twisting her body, and letting herself fall a foot or two away from the floor she was already sitting on- into Hawks lap. It was only her head, tilting up like some lazy cat trying to earn a reaction. It was unexpected, how quickly they had all grown together and sewn Hawks into their neat quilt. It was almost even more unexpected how quickly the hero accepted it. 

“Doing what?”He asked, finally drawing himself into the conversation, finally able to look down and raise an eyebrow at the attention demanding teenager, who gave an amused grin when she was finally acknowledged. 

“Are you on drugs-’’

“You were spacing out a lot, so we wondered why. Glad you're okay.”Dabi was quick to cut off his annoying colleague, rolling his eyes until they met the blonde's bright green ones. The last few words were spoken as a statement, but to the rivals, it was a question, a reassurance that help WAS there if it was needed. So the hero gave a nod, then threw on his usual smile, scoffing.

“You guys all think too much into things, I’m fine, just tired.”“Well you still didn’t answer my question-”“Oh shut it! Even if he were, at least it’s LEGAL. Now get over here so I can fucking finish your nails.”Despite his willingness to help, Dabi was anything but sappy, always having to put up some of his defenses, even with the people he trusted more than anyone else in his entire life. Hawks chose to stay silent during their bickering, letting himself get lost in the moment of innocent fun the group was having. 

This makeshift home would all come crumbling down, and only he was to blame. 

Toga, despite all her weird addiction to sucking people's blood, was actually an interesting person to be around. Different views on the world than everyone else, she managed her time well, and actually had hobbies that she was passionate about. Making bouquets out of random flowers collected was something Hawks didn’t think anyone could be good at, yet here he was. 

That didn’t take away from her stubborn self, and while most people found her simply insufferable, it was almost easy now to see that she was still a child- shifting away from the life she never got to have and into an adult she was forced to be. 

And of course, the teenager shook her head no, all whilst keeping eyecontact with the pissy ravenette. She played a dangerous game, Hawks would applaud her for that. 

Holding out her hand with half painted nails, she whined,“Just let me stay here, surely you can move an inch or two closer.”“Yeah, let her stay! For meeeee?”Now felt like the perfect time to jump into the conversation, wrapping a lazy arm around Toga’s waist, keeping her ‘captive’ in his lap. The teenager gave a sassy giggle, both of them beyond amused to see Dabi’s eyes melt into a glare and his lips stay in an unamused frown. 

“I fucking hate you both.”Laughter left them both, and the black haired man scooted forward with MANY mumbles of death threats, but nonetheless started again on painting nails. 

“Ooh, Dabi! Paint mine too!”Twice added in when he caught attention of the scene on the floor, flopping down to the floor to crawl forward.“I suppose I too will join in the fun.”Compress hummed, taking a smoother route and choosing to stand up, then sit down with the group.

“If one more goddamn person asks me to paint their nails I’m burning this whole place down.”“..I’ll join too.”Everyone’s eyes fled to Shigaraki, who had finally set the controller down and was still nested in his pillows. Eyes fleeted to one another, full on laughter bursting out between the entire group as Dabi shouted,

“Fuck!”

While everyone took their fun in the situation, Hawks opened his eyes, cheeks burning with lack of breath from laughing, and eyes soft when they met the blue ones. When they’re eyes met, there was nothing but love. That’s why a few moments later, the blonde glanced away. 

That subtle action, unfortunately, didn’t go unnoticed. 

Dabi stood himself up, not even caring to screw on the lid of the nail polish, and with a still seething voice and quick glare to everyone, his eyes lingering on the heroes, he spoke.“I’m running to the bathroom, then I’ll do all of your guys' nails. Little bitches.”The blonde knew that look, so thirty seconds later, he too stood himself up- having to push the all too stubborn girl off his body in the process. 

“I too.. have to pee.”“Mhmmmm, have fun with your boyfriend, you shit liar.”Toga called after Hawks, not even caring for the shitty lie that was so blatantly handed to her and the others. No one cared enough to actually mention the things they noted going between Dabi and Hawks. 

Because they trust me.

It didn’t take long for the blonde to walk around the corner, into the hallway where the bathrooms were, and be dragged into a family bathroom. He didn’t even let out a sound, accepting the hands grabbing him until they were locked in a room together. 

“You’re acting weird.”Dabi wasted no time speaking, keeping his hands pressuring the hero to the wall, careful not to squish his wings, which was something that beyond flustered Hawks. He was so CAREFUL with him, it was appreciated. 

“No, I’m fine. Just tired.”“Did you not sleep well?”“I dunno.”"That's- not an answer.”Sighing, the blonde leaned his head forward, until it was settled in the crane of the scarred skin, smelling in the heavy scent of vanilla to mask the burning smell. One of his hands drew up to tangle into the black hair, un-neat but soft and decently taken care of, which was surprising. 

“Please don’t make me talk about it, ‘m just feeling weird, kinda sick.”The hands relaxed down Hawks body, until they were holding on to his hips, letting the hero relax into his hold. Slowly, cautious, the words rolled out of Dabi’s lips and into the blonde's ear. 

“Is.. something happening?”Despite the words not being specifically targeting a certain subject, it was obvious what was being hinted; the rooted suspicion that Hawks was a double agent. No matter how desperate the words were, to fall from the hero's mouth and accept whatever punishment given to him- he understood that would be death, and that would defeat his life's purpose of being a hero to save others in big fights like this. So, he shook his head, burrowing his face into Dabi’s shoulder so he wouldn’t have to stand looking at the villains all too correct assumption.“No baby, of course not. I’m just tired, I dunno. Just.. hold me for a sec.”“Clingy brat.”Dabi tsked, not sounding fully convinced of the hero's defense, but he chose not to question it further and instead held Hawks in his arms. Hands around his waist, eventually adding some humor to the situation by cupping both of the heroes ass cheeks in his hands. 

Sure enough, it earned a stupid giggle from the blondes lips, cheeks heating up as he whined playfully.“You’re so unserious.”“Yeah, well you shouldn’t be acting so sad. If you come by my room tonight, we can.. Watch a movie or something. I dunno, but the point is you should come.”“Is that your way of flirting?”Hawks questioned, relief settling in his heart at the normality between them right now, the promise of comfort was relieving, even if he knew it would go forever broken. The black haired man scoffed, scrunching up his nose in annoyance. Something annoyingly amusing. 

“No idiot, I’m inviting you so that I can stab you to death.”“Perfect, I’ll be there.”The villain was never clear with his dependency on others, flirting with others during times they were sober or in front of others was a challenge for him, but Hawks found himself uncaring. Years of scorn from the world and no family support, it was easy to struggle trusting others with opening up.

“Kay great, now I really do have to pee so-”

Once again losing all his breath to laughter, the hero drew away from the warm body, fingers running down Dabi’s arms, before losing all contact with him. It made him more happy than he thought it would, but right before he stepped out of the bathroom, the ravenette drew him back and planted their lips together in a kiss, then proceeded to close and lock the door. 

Damn that guy, Hawks swore that Dabi would be the death of him. The thought of what would soon happen still plagued him, but he couldn’t keep that fuzzy feeling out of his heart for anything. 

Back inside the living room, the hero goes to sit on the couch, but is quickly tugged down by two pairs of hands, refusing to let him sit away from the group. Compress had started on painting their bosses' nails, Shigaraki sitting still with a blank face, but that was usually a good sign. He was most comfortable when he showed little emotion. 

Letting out a harsh grunt as he came colliding to the floor on his back, Hawks glared up at the masked face and bright smiling girl, not even having to say any words to convey his annoyance. They didn’t take it seriously.

“You really think we’re just gonna let you sit on the couch man?”Twice scolded, wrapping an arm around the blonde's shoulders, keeping him held close in the group so they could fall back into their similar pattern of conversation. 

Home.

It took a bit longer than expected for the ravenette to return, slipping through the kitchen and returning empty handed, then settling down on the floor with everyone else, who is happy as can be to continue flooding him with demands that he won’t refuse. 

“Paint mine first!”“No, me, you bitch-”“Guys I can do all of yours-”“Fucking me first!”

“Move it Twice-”

“Alright little bitches, get in a damn line!”Just like that, they all find themselves settled into a vertical line, pushing and shoving each other every now and then, everyone avoiding speaking as much as possible, because the minute an unpopular statement hits their ears, all of them would be fighting instantly to decide who was really right. 

Hawks found himself at the very end of the line, settled comfortably on his knees, leaning forward, head against the back of Shigaraki’s back. Never ever in a million years did he think that this would be a situation he ended up in, and despite the pulsing heart in his chest, he felt this kind of nice. 

A sharp ringing filled the room, and after two rings, terror flooded the hero's entire body cold. That was the sound of his secret phone ringing, but it was much louder and closer to the group than it ever should have been. It must have been placed there on purpose- 

“Who’s fuckin phone is that?”

Shigaraki questioned the gang, all of them crossing looks with each other, but no one bothered to get up until they identified the owner of the mystery phone, and they didn’t have to wait long for an answer, because the blonde was rushing to his feet, nearly diving to shut his phone off.

On the small screen, Endeavour’s contact was bright to see, calling the hero frantically. Attempting to slide his finger on the ‘deny call’ button, he was so shaky from panic that of course he had to go and fuck that up, accepting the call and letting the pro heroes angry voice speak to the entire room.“Hawks- Hawks, good, you answered, you fucking idiot. The attack is starting now, groups have the place surrounded, and the pro’s are storming the place now. Meet us in the courtyard, NOW.”One. Two. Three. Four.

The hero turned around, letting out a failed sound of trying to defend himself as he saw the circle of defensive bodies around him, and in the very back, the bright blue, downcast eyes. 

It was beyond tense, everyone's eyes hard and full of this new sparked anger, but it was separate from their usual anger, there was hurt and genuine hatred at this newfound discovery. Toga was holding a shimmery blade up in front of her body, ready to strike at any moment. Twice hovered behind her, Shigaraki standing in the back near Dabi, and Compress standing to the side of Hawks with a marble ready to throw at any moment.That hurt, it felt like sudden suffocation was holding the hero hostage, but he gave a charming, and failing smile to all of them, glancing around as he horsley laughed out.“Guys, listen, I SWEAR, that wasn’t- I- I’m not a traitor!”No words were ever going to be enough to fix the way he ruined their neatly sewn trust. The highschooler lunged forward, knife aiming straight for the hero's neck, quickly he responded by ducking to the floor and to the side. Now he was completely cornered, a knife coming after him, marble being perfectly aimed towards his body, and Twice working to fight him to the floor. 

Stumbling around, wings aiding him to slip around on coming threats, until he was backed up to the window. Sparing a panicked glance outside, true to their word, heroes were flooding the premise, forcing back any villains or accomplices that attempted escape. 

“You have to listen- I was sent here as a spy, sure, but I never TRULY intended on hurting you guys-”“Doesn’t matter what you meant, cause you still did it.”Toga cut off, all traces of fun or teasing permanently gone from her face, leaving nothing but little tears in her eyes and a tight, angry scowl on her lips. Running forward, she took the move from the rest of the team, raising the knife to perfectly land in Hawks shoulder. When the highschooler reached her target, panting and everyone expecting a smidge of their revenge to be imprinted on the hero, there was nobody. The window was open, and just like that, they had a debt to pay that would be marked down in history as one of the biggest betrayals to ever happen. 

“I’m sorry Dabi, I really, really am.” Hawks finally settled on sobbing out, but right as he did, his face tucked down to the spot on his arm that was most clean and worked to scrub away the tears. This was a fight now, there was no way both of them would make it out of this alive. The world had to have a winner.

This time, when the villain lunged, the hero was a bit more prepared. Their bodies collided against each other, fire kissed the hero's skin, and the one undamaged feather protected Hawks with its last bit of crumbling self. 

“Well you aren’t forgiven.” Dabi muttered bitterly, the smallest bits of red feather particles floating away from his burning hands, then his mud covered boot made its way to Hawks chest and slammed him down to the mixture of dirt and blood.

“That doesn’t take away from me being sorry.” This might be a challenge he couldn’t defeat. Maybe it was better that way, the love Hawks for the Todoroki son would never fully disappear, and death sounded better than betraying his country and facing their scorn. 

Hawks wasn’t cut out to be a villain, but neither was he to be a hero. 

Maybe he was meant simply to die.

Two months after the.. drunk incident, Hawk’s decided to ask Dabi to go drinking with him again.

It was stupid, because after being so embarrassing while drunk, he never wanted to show his face again… But over the next few weeks, the duo had to work together more, their missions turning into time spent off of work still together, planning for future things they had to be together for.

Hawks enjoyed the villain's company, more so than he would like to admit. There were lots of reasons that spending time together was wrong, dangerous and crossing the line to traitorous. 

Still, the blonde took time to fluff up his bright blonde hair, perfectly draw on his eyeliner, and wear clothing that would be easy to dance and move around in. Then he walked around the base, until he was able to corner Dabi.

“Will you go to the bar with me tonight?”The villain’s face was locked in some confused downturn of his lips, until the words registered and his eyes softened into some look of teasing. Those damn blue eyes would be the death of Hawks, it was so frustrating how obviously human he was. 

Leaning back against the wall, shifting his arm quickly so he wouldn’t keep hitting the lightswitch, Dabi raised his eyebrow, along with his upper lip.“Wow, asking me out already? I didn’t think a hero would swoon for me so quickly.”

“I am NOT swooning-”“But yes, I’ll go. Why not? Give me an hour, and we can leave.’’

That left Hawks silent with surprise, but there was a feeling pulsing in his heart that felt relieved, happy with the acceptance. Sure enough, a few minutes before the full hour mark hit, Dabi kicked himself into the blonde's bedroom. Raven black hair was stroked back into a mullet, with freshly looking shaved sides and a matching slit in his eyebrow, the villain was dressed in a blue shirt and some baggy black jeans.

Hawks cheeks flushed. 

“Alright birdy, let’s get goin.”

“Lemme get my shoe’s on.”“Jesus christ-”

Stumbling quickly out the door, the duo traveled down the stairs, and it was quick to start bickering, swooping them away into a sense of familiarity, until they reached the inside of the bar. Thankfully it wasn’t too busy yet, because it WAS still 8 pm, so they got up to the counter, slipping into chairs.

“Whaddya wanna get?”Hawks questioned, tilting his head over to look at his.. accomplice. He was the hero with thousands of dollars, and he was the one inviting the ravenette out. Of course he would pay. The hero pretended to not see the moment of surprise, then suspicion, before words poured from his lips.

“Aperol Spritz.”Even though they both walked in with some silent promise to themselves, to not get too drunk tonight, that was quickly going down the drain. Drink after drink was ordered, Hawks stuck to cinnamon whiskey, but he noted that Dabi liked to buy an assortment of drinks- all the way from whine, vodka, to straight whiskey. 

Less than forty minutes later, Hawks found himself lost in the comfort of alcohol, ready to get out into the world and not feel unbelievably stressed about always maintaining his reputation. Sliding his fingers over the table, he gripped onto the villain's hand, tangling their fingers and tugging him to the dance floor.

“Come ‘n dance with me-”

“You are SO annoying-”

Regardless of his disinterest, the black haired man followed him out to the floor, letting the excitement of Hawks fill him and the music lead his movements. Dabi’s hands tug away from Hawks fingers, and down to his hips, tugging him closer. Letting out a sharp gasp, the blonde let the tension, the fear of being in danger, flood out of his body, but it took him a moment to realize that reality. The villain was already scolding him, but it was more of a little laugh to himself.

“Relax! Being drunk means no stressing.”

“M not stressing!”“Good, because I wanna dance, and that’s not easy working to relax you.”

Once again, the hero's cheeks flushed. 

The music rang loud in their ears, a new form of drug to the hero's ear when it was laced with Dabi’s occasional murmuring and stern words that kept Hawks from doing anything too stupid that would result in him getting hurt. Around eleven pm, the bar was squished with people, taking the freedom and fun away from this scene. 

So grabbing his hand, the hero forces the annoyingly beautiful villain out of the bar and into the streets, everything is still busy, leaving the next safe place being Hawks penthouse. It had been a few months since he’d been home, far too caught up in the infiltration work he was doing. Thankfully he always kept a key to his home beneath some rocks in his garden. 

Pushing the door open, the silence reigning from the villain finally cracked as he studied the area.

“Holy shit, you really live here by yourself? It’s so NICE.”It was beyond uncanny seeing the genuine emotion in Dabi’s actions and words, but it wasn’t.. hated. Being drunk, the blonde found himself rather pleased, finding some pleasure that the villain thought highly of the home he spent so much time designing. 

“Sometimes my mom lives here, but not right now, ‘s complicated.’’

“Least you’ve got a mom that’s NOT locked up in some mental asylum.”“..”

Both of them broke into laughter, because it really wasn’t funny, but that’s exactly the point. They had to make humor of the things that hurt them, otherwise it would be a weapon against themselves. Maybe some extra giggles on Hawks side were thrown in, because this was the first time that Dabi had willingly admitted something about the knowledge of their shared past, and that was nice. 

Ignoring any prior curiosity he had about  why they were here, the black haired man headed on his own path to study the house, finding his way upstairs as Hawks broke open a saved bottle of wine. Pouring it into two separate cups, the hero left the scene there to go find his accomplice. 

Dabi was upstairs in the guest bedroom, but he moved himself into the hero’s bedroom, looking around with wide eyes, almost like he was at risk of falling asleep at any moment, and his hands would lightly graze some things here and there. 

“I thought you’d have more stuff.”He commented without turning to face the blonde. All he got was a shrug. The hero didn’t need much to be happy or satisfied, so he preferred to keep the essentials and some wants in his room. Books, some stuffed animals, a closet of clothes, a big bed beneath his locked window, some gifts from fans- but that was really it. 

The moon was shining perfectly into the room, providing perfect lighting to study every detail on the other person's face, if given the right angle, and the drunk Hawks couldn’t help himself. He walked over to the villain, grabbed his chin, and forced his head straight so they could be eye to eye. 

“The fuck-”

Hawks wanted to see if the humanity was still there. Sure enough, the dark blue, shifting into a shade of indigo, were just as bright beneath the freckles. The hero's hand lingers beneath the burned skin, fingers elegantly tracing beneath his jawline to keep their eyes locked together. 

“You’re so weird when you’re drunk. I don’t even understand you.”Dabi scoffed, attempting lightly to pull his chin away, until the blonde proved himself to be even more stubborn. So he played along. Alcohol made things so much funner, that’s what Hawks decided, because he had NEVER seen the villain so willing to do something. 

His fingers moved from his own sides, and made their way into a comfortable, stern hold around the hero's hips. Tugging him forward, just like then they were dancing, Dabi held Hawks comfortably close to him. That’s when the hero forced himself to mutter with a flustered mind.

“I- it’s your eyes. They’re pretty, and I’ve never seen a villain's eyes that look so alive.”“..I think you’re way too drunk.”

“I don’t have to be drunk to admit you’re pretty-”“So you ALWAYS think I’m pretty?”“..Yes.”“Hm, good. Me too.’’

“You.. think I’m pretty?”“Hot’s probably a better word, but sure.”The hybrid couldn't help but feel thrilled at the words, some drunk part of him satisfied that he could make someone else so damn gorgeous feel the same about him. Words failed him, so the only indicator to his flustered emotions were his heated cheeks. Dabi had further plans to earn a reaction, and Hawks couldn't say he was disappointed by that.

A hand slid into his hair, fingers handling the roots, and tilting back the hero's head, giving full access to his flushed pink face. With his free left hand, Dabi traced over Hawks cheek bones, until his finger was brushing over the blonde's lip. Hawks could feel himself drowning in how good being adored felt, all words lost in his frazzled head, letting out a small hum to approve the touch. 

“You’re so frustratingly good lookin. But MAYBE that’s the alcohol.”“Drunk words are sober thoughts.”Hawks reminded quickly, prompting this interaction to keep going. 

“Is this why you got me drunk? So I’d admit my traitorous thoughts out loud? Pretty shitty of you, Birdy.”

Despite the cold words of mild accusation, the villain's face remained as relaxed as ever, all the tension over the scarred areas fully relaxed as he brushed over any part of Hawks face he wished. The blue in his eyes had never been so apparent. It was killing the hero. Something so ALIVE, had to be his. Something that was so feared by everyone else, tamed by him, felt amazing. The hero wanted to feel just as alive as Dabi looked.

Shaking his head, wincing slightly at the hand in his hair (which fled down to his hip after that), Hawks leaned his face forward, murmuring.“Nah, I just like you. Bit more than I wanna admit.”

“You gonna do somethin about it?”Dabi questioned, glancing quickly down to look at their pressed together bodies, his gaze lingering on the hero's close lips, before remaining eye contact. Everything was one big game to these two, but it seemed they were finally reaching an ending they both desired.

“You want me to?”“If I didn’t, I woulda burned you a while ago.”So, the hero took his turn. Leaning forward, their lips met, illuminated like the moon, like they were some sort of artwork that deserved to be displayed. The kiss started smooth, but mixing that with Hawks clinging hands and Dabi’s impulse to take control, it quickly turned into their tongues intruding each other's mouths, stumbling their bodies back in a messy dance, until Hawks back met the wall. 

One of Dabi’s hands wrapped firmly against the back of the blonde's neck, tugging some strands, which caused more sounds from Hawks mouth. Of course the hero couldnt stand for his rival to have ALL the fun, because his hands ran down Dabi’s t-shirt covered chest, until he was able to tug on the hem of the bottom.

“Off-’’

The mumble between their lips caused the black haired man to draw back, catching their breath and allowing for a decent conversation. Eye’s locked, there was nothing but craving and passion, long awaited tension needing to break between the two.

“I know you, if you take my shirt off, it’s not gonna end there. Are- are you sure you want to continue, and this isn’t just some stupid part of your spying?”

“Already told you I’m not spying.”“And I already told you I’m not stupid.”With a huff and secret pang of fear in the hero's heart, fearful of being truly discovered as a spy for the heroes and what that would mean to him, he circled back to their shared craving.

“I know what I’m signing up for. I want it, YOU, I don’t care what that means in the future.”So, the villains' lips found their way back to Hawks, and their mixed clothing fell to the ground piece by piece. 

The rest of that night would go down as one of the only events that wouldn't be recorded in history. It was perfect that way.

“I can’t forgive you, and if you live, you’ll only be a problem.” 

The black haired man mutters, all the bitterness and hatred in his tone poorly masking the sudden amount of sadness and hurt that was finally showing. Dabi was unstable, his emotions like some tornado that wasn’t predictable. Despite all the danger, that look of truth and liveliness in his eyes would never go away. 

No matter how hard the hero tried to blink it away, or will it to leave his mind. The foot on his chest wasn’t too heavy, if he had a bit more strength, he could scramble away. Faintly on his walkie talkie, the crackled voice of Endeavour came.

“Backups are gonna be to your location in ten-“ 

The black boot came crashing down on the device, crushing it easily. Hawks couldn’t help but flinch, then slowly drew his eyes back up to his rivals. The blonde nodded, agreeing with the statement. 

The world separated them for a reason, the fine line between good and bad being drawn clearly. Angels and devils were never supposed to mix. If their problems couldn’t be solved, they would end up suffocating in the tension and dragging the world down with them. 

“There’s a knife in my left pocket.” 

Dabi’s hand felt around the hero’s thigh, cupping every crevice in a way that was so painfully familiar, more tears couldn’t help swelling in Hawks green eyes. 

This, THEY, could never be a reality.

Pulling out the pocket knife, and flipping open the blade, the angry, vengeful villains expression faded back into a look with a small smile that was anything but happy. Looking down, their eyes met.

“I’m not doing it.” 

“Dabi-“ 

“No, you fucking idiot, I- Just join the League-“ 

“This isn’t the life I want! None of this is, I just.. please. I can’t live in this universe when I know I will never get what I want. I will never truly live.” 

At the very end of the field, illuminated by the orange, fading sun, a group of dirtied up heroes were coming running across the field for him. They were running out of time. 

Reaching his hand up, hesitant for a few moments of the unpredictable villain, Hawks fingers tangled into Dabi’s burning fingers, forcing him to hold on tighter to the blade.

“Touya.” 

The murmur was enough to draw back the full emotions that the black haired man was feeling, because his voice was full of anger, a hesitance, a refusal to hurt Hawks. He truly cared. 

“Don’t even start, just, I- I don’t know what to do-“ 

With a shaking breath, the hero spoke the name again, until they were staring into each other's eyes. Bright green matching with a blue of a thousand shades, always too perfect to be contained by one certain color. Dabi shook his head, but stayed quiet as the blonde kept speaking. Lips quivering, welling tears threatening to spill, covered in the ashes of those who died in his place.

“Please, just do it. Right in the heart. I can’t do this.” 

“I can’t kill you-“ 

“Please don’t make me beg. This is what I want.”

“But I love you.” 

Those words are whispered, cracking as if the defenses he’s had set up for so long are finally coming down. A single drop of blood flees from the villain's eye, and oh does that hurt the hero. 

“There is no place for me in this world if I’m not happy with you, and I know I will never get what I want here.”

Hawks can barely keep begging for death, voice wobbling and failing him, eyes not focusing on the heroes getting closer and closer, only on his rival. 

“This world is no place for a fallen angel like me.” 

The knife plunges into the hero's heart, earning a strangled gasp. Blood drops down from Dabi’s face, a lot quicker, the most free his hurt had ever been.

“I h-hate you, Hawks.” 

“And I love you too.” 

The last sight Hawks will ever see is those beautiful, life filled eyes looking down at him, and that’s all he needs to let his last breath leave his body with peace. 

[maochira]

kunigiri for ur new event pls i love the sm theyre literally my parents (real)

They are now also my parents I am your sister (real)

Requests open! - event list - masterlist

Kunigami and Chigiri as your parents!

Tags: gn!reader who's Kunigami's and Chigiri's child, they're both professional players and Kunigami got therapy so he's mentally stable again, no specific age for reader just general headcanons, kinda obvious but reader is adopted

-Chigiri and Kunigami knew for a long time that they want a child one day, but they were always unsure if they were ready to be parents. But once they got you, all the doubts disappeared and they got so confident in becoming great parents

-Kunigami has always been the one mostly trying to prevent you from getting any injuries, but whenever something happened, Chigiri would be the one to take care of you and your wounds, while Kunigami would be the one to comfort you with words

-Kunigami is the more overprotective one. He gets afraid of bad things happening to you more easily, but Chigiri is always there to reassure him you're gonna be fine. Even though he tends to get more worried than needed as well

-Chigiri LOVES styling your hair in all different kinds of ways. He'd also be open to dyeing your hair in any colour you'd like!

-in general, both of them are supportive of whatever style and aesthetic you want to express yourself

-they try really hard to keep their work-life and parent-life separated. They don't want you to be a big part of their soccer life because family is a whole different thing from their career. But sometimes they have no other choice than to involve you a bit, so you get to come along to their practices and watch, and sometimes you even get to travel with them. It can get stressful, but they love to show you the world!

-whenever you come along to watch their practices, they stay a bit longer after their teammates have already left, so they can play soccer with you for a bit

-they don't pressure or push you into it, but they'd love it if you got into soccer as well. They would be really supportive, but Chigiri would also be a bit worried about you getting injured and Kunigami would get worried about what if you weren't mentally strong enough to deal with the world of soccer

-they know you're capable of a lot of things and how strong you are, but no matter how much you grow up, a part of them will forever have the little child (Y/N) who needs to be protected in the back of their minds

-if you have another passion or dream, they will be very supportive as well. But even in that, they find reasons to be worried about you. But seeing the person you're becoming as you grow up just makes them happy, knowing they did a good job as parents

[aylacavebear]

She Thought She was Normal

Story Summary: Maria really thought she was normal, for most of her life. It was normal for people to have natural talent, she would tell herself the older she got. Many things came easy for her, and that was probably how their rivalry began when she was five and he was seven and she met the Winchesters. Little did either of them know that it wouldn't stay like that forever, both having a far larger destiny than they could imagine.

Word Count: 3583

Please don't take my work. I'll post warnings for each chapter. May have future SMUT 18+!

Warnings: Angst, Fluff.

A/N: I am currently working on further chapters. Everything is coming to a head.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 31 - Revelations

It was after midnight before Cas and Mari were left alone in the library that night. She saw he had many questions and found his curiosity almost childlike and adorable.

“Everyone thinks you’re dead,” he began, unsure where else to start.

“It’s a long story,” she chuckled.

“We have time,” he answered eagerly, smiling a little.

“It was a long time ago. Long before, Maria’s parents or even grandparents had been an idea. I noticed things, little things, in heaven and on Earth, after God disappeared,” she sighed, “When I realized what was going on and how God had begun interfering… I had very little time, angelically speaking, to find a way to keep the worst from happening.”

Cas was hanging on her every word. He’d, too, noticed weird things and never felt as though things in heaven were right, “What kind of things did you see?” 

Mari thought for a moment before she answered him, “Angels were made to watch over and protect God’s creations, even love them. Somewhere along the line, they forgot that,” she sighed, looking down at the table momentarily, “Then there’s heaven. What do you think people want to experience, when they die?” she asked him, meeting his gaze.

He wasn’t entirely sure what to think of angels loving humans. That was against the rules of heaven these days. However, he had to think about that one for a bit. It was something he’d thought about once before, “I would think that they’d want to see their loved ones again. The ones that went to heaven.”

She smiled a little with his answer, “You’d be right. But… that’s not how heaven is set up. Have you ever wondered what happens to those who never find their soulmate before they reach heaven? Or, have you looked in on some of them?” 

“They get to relive their fondest memories from when they were alive,” Cas answered. He knew that one. He had visited some of them. His favorite was that of an autistic man.

Mari tilted her head a bit as she watched him, “What do you think would bring more peace to their soul?” she asked as a knowing smile played along her lips.

Again, he paused to think about her question. Souls had been the most important thing in heaven, and the angels guarded them vigilantly. He hadn’t considered what would bring more peace to a soul. That would have meant questioning God’s design. Cas looked at her, furrowing his brow in mild confusion and frustration, “If being with their loved ones would bring their soul more peace, why would God set heaven up the way he did?”

She smirked slightly, “Makes you wonder how long he’s been planning this little apocalypse of his, doesn’t it,” she chuckled.

Cas couldn’t understand how she found any amusement in the conversation. It was blasphemy to speak ill of God and his design of things, but he also couldn’t seem to not think about the things Mari was bringing up. He pursed his lips, debating his following statement, “So, why did you break the rules and bring about Maria?”

This was the part Mari knew would come. She took a deep breath as she looked into the angel’s eyes, wondering if he was ready to hear her reasoning, “In the beginning, there were those that God loved the most, the angels and his creations on Earth. The angels and man even mingled for a time, creating a unison. They even intermarried, giving way to Nephilim,” she began, then sighed quietly as she looked down at the table.

“Time forgot the bond of those God loved. Bitter feuds destroyed those mixed families. There was a darker force that was on Earth, those who had no ties to the peace that was there in the beginning. They loathed them for their perfection and who would stop at nothing to destroy them. The part that made this so sad, God allowed it. Our glorious Father took no action against those creatures to protect his creation, his children.” Cas just listened. He knew of what she spoke of. There was a time when there was a peace on Earth, when it wasn’t wrong for humans and angels to love each other completely, and when God seemed to care about his creations before Lucifer found his way into The Garden.

“Those that were a part of that darker force, were elevated in status by greedy, power-hungry, and driven shells that no longer knew themselves. They grew stronger, making it even harder for humanity to find peace like they knew so long ago. They had won a silent war, infiltrating as only shadows can,” Mari continued, her voice quiet with an undertone of sadness as she remembered back.

“This ancient tale has a happy ending, though, and that is where Maria comes in,” she said as she looked up at Cas, hope in her eyes again, “She’s here to bring that peace and serenity back to everyone’s hearts. It’s what was lost, so long ago, and it’s why her glow is purple. I’m her mother, something ancient. Her human parents are something from the now. When the two times came together, they came into focus, in her. She’s the bridge,” Mari finished, and a softness had returned to her expression as she spoke about her daughter.

Cas’s eyes lit up, even if he was still a bit conflicted. If he followed her and Maria, he was deflecting from heaven, from God. If he didn’t, nothing would change, “So, what is she supposed to do then?” he asked her, now more curious than ever.

Mari chuckled a little, “She’s already doing it, Cas. She ran away from everything and everyone for so long that she locked her emotions away. Then, that all changed when she saw Sam again. He and Jess helped her get through a lot. After that, she made amends with her Uncle. But it was Dean that made the biggest impact on her growth. He loved her how she needed to be loved, and she let him in, loving him back. Tonight, when she let her family in, when she was the most vulnerable, she found peace. That peace that hasn’t been around for eons.”

He had felt different since that moment in the kitchen and couldn’t describe it then. Now, though, he understood. Maria didn’t have to “do” anything, not directly, not yet. He hadn’t realized just how far she’d come in her journey, which he realized was an emotional rollercoaster most of her life. Cas didn’t feel worried or uneasy about whatever it was that was coming, and he was ready to stand by her side.

Mari hadn’t told him she’d looked through the timelines, as far into the future as she had dared. Tonight was as far as she could go. She knew her daughter would succeed, as she could feel Maria’s serenity spreading further, even now, her dreams telling her of a future that was in the making. Mari had glimpsed a bit further, but it had been in bits and pieces, spaced out over time.

When Maria woke the following morning, she felt different. It was a good different, though, even if she couldn’t put her finger on what it was or describe it. She snuggled closer to Dean, not ready to open her eyes or be pulled from the comfort of being in his arms. For the first time since she’d found the bunker, she was thankful it was underground and had no windows. The rays of the morning sun couldn’t tease at her or try to pull her from the comfort she felt in the darkness of Dean’s room, listening to his heartbeat as he slept.

It was like at that moment, nothing was wrong. It felt amazing to her. She’d felt good in the past, but it was nothing like she felt now. She also couldn’t seem to keep a small, content, yet happy smile off her lips. Maria shifted a little, gently kissed Dean’s chest, and felt him inhale deeply.

“Mornin’ Sweetheart,” Dean sighed contently, his eyes still closed.

“Morning, handsome,” she replied, drawing invisible shapes on the skin of his chest, “How’d you sleep?”

Dean shifted a little so he was on his side and facing her, “Peacefully, you?” 

She looked up at him, “I had some really amazing dreams.” “Oh yeah, what about?” he asked, interested now.

“Well, you were there,” she began, but when she heard his chuckle in that insinuating way he did, she playfully smacked him on the shoulder, “Not like that.” He leaned down and kissed her, one of those sweet good morning kisses, and she melted in his arms, “Okay. If it wasn’t about that, what was it about?” he asked as he caressed her cheek, looking down into her eyes.

She had to calm her breathing a bit before answering him, “You’re really distracting,” she chuckled. “I dreamt that things were better and none of us had to hunt anymore.”

Dean furrowed his brow, trying to grasp the concept of that, “Were all monsters just gone?” he finally asked.

“No. They weren’t gone,” she answered, wanting to find the right words, “They just didn’t hurt people anymore.”

That was something Dean hadn’t considered possible, but with everything else that had happened in the last few weeks, he shouldn’t have been that surprised that she would dream something like that.

“That… that might be nice,” he finally told her, wondering if a normal life was something he might be able to have.

She bit her lip, trying to contain her smile, “I, uh, I also dreamt that we had a life together.”

A happy smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, “It sounds like you had a really nice dream. I’m glad that you got to have that.”

Maria rolled her eyes a little, “Why won’t you just tell me what's in your head?”

Dean looked down at her, wondering if she could read his mind or something since last night when her powers did what they did. Then, he sighed softly, “I just don’t want to get my hopes up, that’s all,” he confessed.

She gave him a sympathetic look, “What would have to happen so that you would get your hopes up?” she asked curiously.

He had to think about that and wasn’t sure he had an answer for her, “Can I think about that?”

“Yeah. I know there’s still a lot going on for you,” she sighed. She did understand; she just had hope, especially after he’d proposed the night before.

Dean could tell something in what he’d said bothered her, so he just kissed her. He didn’t know what the right thing to say was, and he didn’t want to make her feel worse, accidentally. Even though he felt content in a way he hadn’t experienced before, he still didn’t want to get his hopes up or let his hunter guard down. As far as he knew, they still didn’t have a way to stop what was coming. 

“Come on, sleepyhead, let's get some coffee,” she told him, still feeling that tranquility and joy she’d woken up with.

Dean did that happy smirk of his, caressing her cheek and kissing her again before he climbed out of bed and turned on the light. She bit her lip as she watched him move across the room to get dressed. She knew she’d never get tired of seeing him naked; the way his muscles moved always seemed to make her heart flutter and her body tingle. Maria finally managed to turn away from him and climb out of bed. She barely thought about getting dressed when it happened. A pair of jeans, her purple t-shirt, and a red and purple flannel, appeared on her body, and her hair was brushed. 

“Huh, that’s new,” she mumbled, looking down and inspecting her outfit when her socks and shoes appeared on her feet.

Thought you all might like a pic of what she looks like.

He turned to look at her after he put his shirt on, “What was that, Sweetheart?”

“I uh…,” she began, then looked over at him, “I’m dressed, and I only partially thought about it. It just happened.”

“Your eyes are glowing a little again, too,” he smirked in that happy way that she loved so much, which made her blush slightly.

Before she could say anything, he closed the distance between them and kissed her again. It was one of those soft, I love you kisses. The two lingered in an embrace before Dean finally pulled away and slipped on his shoes. Maria was still a little puzzled when she felt a weird pull and turned around, noticing the mild glow coming from the book on Dean’s nightstand. It was her book, although she hadn’t put it there the night before. She tilted her head as she walked over and picked it up.

The book wasn’t nearly as thick as it had been, and there was only one paragraph when she opened it. Dean turned, watching her as he sat on the edge of his bed.

From here on out, just be yourself, but mind your thoughts. You don’t have to hide anymore, from anyone or anything. Your powers are now in full force. The past and the present have been brought together, in you. As the tranquility from the beginning spreads from you to the world, so will your joy. There are two more tasks that you have ahead of you: one above and one below. Your family cannot go with you to either, although, the angels can go with you on one. Choose carefully which one you include them in, for it will make all the difference in the outcome. As will your decision of which one you go to first.

“What’s it say?” Dean asked her.

“Umm…” was all she could say at the moment. It was like she knew what she needed to do. Maria sighed as she sat beside him, the book still in her hands.

He set his hand on the small of her back, rubbing small circles with his thumb, “It’s okay. I’m here for you, whatever it says,” he tried to reassure her.

She took a slow, deep breath, calming her nerves, then read him the paragraph. Maria felt all of his emotions. It was like she couldn’t turn that off now. He didn’t need to say anything, “I know you don’t like it, not being able to go with me. I’ll be okay, and I’m not gonna just go rushing into anything.” It was her turn to try to reassure him.

Too many things went through Dean’s mind. The one thing he was having the hardest time dealing with was that she didn’t need protection anymore. That almost made him feel somewhat useless, like she didn’t need him, and he didn’t know how to vocalize it. The moment he focused on that thought, he felt her hand on his cheek, turning his gaze to meet hers. Dean smiled some, seeing that comfort and softness in her deep, dark blue eyes.

“For the record, I’ll always need you in my life,” she told him softly.

He chuckled, “Can you read my mind now, too?” he asked, still chuckling a little.

That made her giggle, “No. I can’t read your mind, but I can feel what you do. It’s like I can’t turn that one off. What can I do to reassure you?” she asked.

Dean took a deep breath, trying to find the right words, “You just did, and when this is all over, I promise I’ll relax.”

Maria leaned up and kissed him lovingly, and the two headed out into the war room. She already knew the others were awake, being able to feel them. Dean held her hand, leading her into the library with the others. The scene brought a smile to her face. Her family was there, smiling, laughing, and having coffee together. She even noticed that Cas was laughing.

“Mornin’ lovebirds,” Bobby teased the two playfully. He’d found peace with the two being together, especially after Dean had asked him for her hand two days earlier.

They laughed a little as they sat down beside each other, two hot cups of coffee appearing on the table. Mari watched her, noticing her glow, as had Cas. It wasn’t dimmed anymore, not like when he’d met her. It also had changed; now it was that soft, yet vibrant purple color that her eyes had shown the night before.

“Morning Uncle Bobby,” she giggled before sipping her coffee.

“How were your dreams last night?” Mari asked her, a bit excited.

“Probably the best dreams I’ve had in a long time,” she admitted.

“Care to share, Sis?” Sam asked. He knew that normally, she didn’t dream and was there when the nightmares had finally stopped.

Maria smiled, thinking back to her dream, glancing down at the coffee in her cup as she held it, “It was nice, little brother. Monsters didn’t hurt people anymore, demons couldn’t come to Earth, Heaven was beautiful, and no one had to hunt anymore. We all had normal lives.” She didn’t want to give them the more personal details that had to do with her and Dean, though, those were private.

John reached over, holding his wife’s hand and giving it a little squeeze. That was something they had always wanted for their boys. Hearing that Maria had dreamt it somehow gave them a sense of comfort.

Mari smiled, “That’s beautiful. Did the book have anything for you this morning?” she asked.

Maria looked up at her, a bit surprised that she’d ask her that. She knew she probably shouldn’t have been surprised, though, not with how things tended to happen with her, especially this morning. “Uh, yeah. It was only one paragraph, though. I have a couple more tasks I need to take care of. I’m just not ready yet,” she told her, then sighed and looked back at her coffee. 

Dean leaned over and kissed the side of her head, doing his best to keep the worry from his expression. Maria could feel him, though, wishing she could help him understand that everything would be okay. She didn’t have any way of showing him; she just felt it. The one thing she didn’t understand was how God/Chuck played into it all. The book hadn’t said anything about him.

“It’s okay, Little One. You’ll know when it’s time,” Mari told her. 

The others were a bit puzzled and wanted to know. However, they weren’t going to push. She always shared everything with them when she was ready, usually after piecing it all together. So, for now, they wouldn’t push, no matter how curious they were. 

Maria wasn’t ready to share the book's words with the others. She already had the idea that it had to do with Heaven and Hell. It wasn’t that she was worried about going to either place. It was the worry and concern her family would end up going through since none of them could go with her.

After some conversation and a couple of cups of coffee, she looked up at Dean, leaning close to him, “Could we just go cuddle for a bit?” she whispered.

He gently rubbed her back. Hearing her ask for that, there were no words to say how he felt. Yeah, it was something simple, but she’d never vocalized it before. Dean gave her a soft smile, “For as long as you’d like,” he whispered, then kissed her on the cheek.

 The others just watched the two as they got up, holding hands, and headed back down the hallway. They had their own thoughts on what the two might be up to but didn’t say anything, just chuckled lightly as they walked away.

Dean closed his bedroom door behind them as she went and sat on his bed, “Wanna tell me what’s wrong?” he asked, setting up the pillows against the headboard before he got comfortable.

Maria looked over at him, seeing his arms outstretched, beckoning her to join him. She smiled as she crawled across the bed and into his arms, getting comfortable with her head on his chest, “I just don’t want any of you to worry, and I don’t know how to reassure any of you that somehow, everything is going to be okay,” she sighed.

Dean gently rubbed her shoulder as he held her close. He wasn’t entirely sure what to say; words weren’t always his strong suit. His mind swam with several different responses before he just sighed, “We’re family, we’re gonna worry. It’s just how family is.”

She thought about that when she felt his hand over hers, and he gently squeezed it, which made her smile again. Something dawned on her that she hadn’t fully thought about before, “So, in a way, that’s how family shows that they love each other.”

He had that happy smirk of his again, “Yeah. So, even after all this is over, family will still worry about each other. I guess it’ll just be in different ways.”

They spent half the day in his room. It was the quiet she needed to think things through. Holding her close like he did made it much easier to stay relaxed, even knowing things would somehow work out. She was trying to weigh the pros and cons of taking the angels to either place she was supposed to go to. 

----------------------------------------- Chapter 32 - A Taste of Normal

Tag List: @deans-spinster-witch @kazsrm67

Link to the master list for this story.

[mushroomnoodles]

So Simon is just gone just like that!? That must've been horrible Morri to see when he woke up!😢 like imagine saying goodnight to your dad and thinking what you'll do the next day together and he's just...gone. And how did Marceline react to Simon's death and Morri now down a parent?

tw parental death, grief, angst in general, god kid is raising themself

churning out some of these questions that i wanna answer with no art, mostly because i want people to know what happened/my thoughts even if i don't feel like drawing or don't have time to.

it was absolutely horrible for little 13 year old (250 year old) morrigan! they were very distraught and confused, because simon didn't even age or give them a warning. a thing they won't forget is the coffee machine was still on, with a full pot.

the emotional devastation sorta kickstarted their dormant god powers, and when they were silently trying to preserve simon's body (they didn't want him to rot, they wanted him to stay with them forever) they initially turned him to stone. morri has been highly intelligent since conception, so they don't exactly think like a teenager, more like a naive adult i'd say, but they're also still a child if that makes sense? they want their papa, they feel safe around him, they love him.

after their initial bewilderment they realized they could sort of force his body into whatever they wanted (remembering those long past memories of grasping for things with their powers while simon was still carrying them, changing those objects and hearing simon react to it) and turned his corpse into a crown that they could hold onto.

they couldn't really bear to be in the house, and they just wanted their dad back, so they simply left with some stuff they thought they'd need (they did want to be an adventurer when they were younger, so they had a loose idea of what to take).

when their judgement wasn't so clouded by leave me alone, my dad is dead, they were afraid pb would do things like she did when they were still in the womb without simon to protect them and also feared that they would be suspected for simon's death due to their. uh. nature. and they didn't want to tell marceline.

morri chose to navigate their puberty alone (and it was such an itchy one, growing spikes and claws) and when more powers came in (portals to other parts of the world, portals to other universes, floating) with no stable guide of their own they took to.. less than healthy coping mechanisms when they found bringing their dad back to life was going to be a lot harder than anticipated. every now and then, they'd hear of marceline looking for them, and they'd avoid her, ever so determined to "fix" things so they could go back to normal and their family would be fine.

morri did have a few on and off parental figures, especially when they were younger- kind strangers looking out for them for a bit before they scampered off again.

marcy, by the way, was having an equally terrible time. from her point of view, simon and morrigan both up and disappeared without a trace. why? how? she couldn't find simon, and with morrigan's inability to be physically documented, it was very difficult to pinpoint where her little sibling went. at first she thought GOLB had something to do with it, and sort of still does. but the thought that simon has died has crossed her mind many a time.

marcy is a bit harder for me to characterize so i think i'll leave it there for her.

[tojikai]

I know you already explained a bit of it, but why was it so easy for him to act right for Naomi and not y/n though?? Even with y/n faults, how could you not give what the one you claim to love the most wants, needs, and that has been trying hard for you, her faults aside, and the mother of your child, but yet so easily give it to a new woman? Y claim to love less and who isn't the mother of your child and most definitely didn't put up with your shit the way y/n did😩

If I were y/n I would be so bitter regarding that for like forever, but if he got with Naomi before y/n came into his life, would he still act right for her?

Would he and Naomi even date if she came into his life before y/b did? 😭😭

Maybe it’s because I’m still young? Actually I’m pretty sure I’m the same age y/n had yui😦 but I personally would never get over naomi and everything he did, I would probably always get so sad thinking about everything that gojo did for Naomi's and his mother’s sake

I would forever be heartbroken and think of what could’ve been if he kept his promise

I would probably have hella mood swings with him and think about how I can’t completely be genuinely happy due to it but i could’ve if it hadn’t happened

idk if i'll explain this well but you see…sometimes we treat new things better when we first have them. we leave the old ones, bc apparently this new one works better. so you try, protect it from scratches and harm. because there's literally no reason to damage it, it's new and it feels so new. you try not to make the same mistakes you made with the old one so it doesn't end up like that. until you realize that the old one actually feels more right for you, like it fits you more. it was the same w them, naomi was good to satoru, he didn't want to hurt her like that. she's a new rs, she gave him the feeling of starting fresh and new again. he wanted to be better with her bc he didn't want to make the same mistakes as he did with his previous rs, so that he will know that it wasn't entirely his fault that it fell apart. it made him feel better, treating naomi well felt like he was a new person. he wanted to do it w yn too. why didn't he? because she's not letting him. instead of letting him fix their rs, she started to pull away bc she herself doesn't know what else to do but protect herself from their fights and his mom. satoru had his realizations abt how much yn put up w his shit, it was written in chapter 3 (i think, when he was drinking). that's why he regrets not fighting more for her and yui.

if he got w naomi before all that, they'd be having problems here and there but not as bad as yn's and his. probably not enought to break up too, bc his mother won't be adding fuel to the fire.

and yep, yn wouldn't forget that either. after all, scars do not disappear. but wounds heal and when they do, they do not hurt anymore, not with time. just a reminder that it happened. and it didn't kill her, it didn't kill them. sure it's hard, but it's up to them if they'll give up again or try.

i'm sure yn's bitter abt satoru a lot of times, there's always attitude, but he doesn't want to give up anymore. he's been through that, he won't be able to take it back, but he can give her something better. it's up to yn if she'll accept that :>

[casspurrjoybell-31]

The Consort's Fate - Chapter 4 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

Finn

Douglas' gaze follows the winding path of cobblestone, squinting as it disappears behind the blockade of lush foliage.

Most would choose something a bit more practical to separate themselves from the world, cement walls, bricks or even a mote, perhaps.

Mr. Primary was purposeful in his selection of protection, though.

It needed to have the appearance of seclusion without separation.

We couldn't appear to be shutting out the rest of the world, after all.

Besides, creating a wall of armor implies we have something to fear.

Something or someone to be protected from.

All of these silent messages share a single commonality, vulnerability in the form of weakness.

And that, I have learned, is a particular quality Mr. Primary undoubtedly abhors.

No, he will never admit he needs protection;,however, he has no qualms in advocating for my protection.

Everything is attributed on my behalf, everything from the excessive number of guards, the remote location and even my ever-growing list of rules and regulations.

'Believe me, Finn. There's nothing that would make me happier than granting you the freedom you so desperately want for yourself. I want it for you every bit as much as you want it for yourself. But you underestimate that demon. Your memories are gone, so you do not remember what evils unfolded because of him. You don't remember and cannot possibly fathom what he's capable of.  

If he ever got his hands on you, he would torture you, Finn. Maybe even kill you. All for the sake of destroying me. No, until he is gone, I need to keep you safe. Not just for me but for this kingdom, too. But do not fret, he will be captured soon enough. And when he is, I will have you by my side as we watch him vanish from this universe, forever.'

Mr. Primary's vow replays in my head and I turn the details over and over again.

It's no secret that his hatred for the vampire species runs soul deep.

Over the years, a few, straggling vampires were found.

They were in hiding but the Secondary guards successfully sniffed them out and brought them to our doorstep.

I never saw them myself of course but I gathered all I needed to know from the hurried whispers amongst the staff as they bustled about my chamber.

They saw them come into the fortress but no one saw them leave.

I don't know where they were kept or what happened to them.

I don't ask.

All I know is that he, the nemesis vampire, is still out there, perpetually slipping from Mr. Primary's grasp.

Based on all the stories, I've admittedly developed a distaste for this 'demon-like' being.

I despise him for what he did to me and moreover, that it's his fault that I'm kept as a prisoner in my own home.

Still... I can't help the sense of wonder that disbands my thoughts whenever he's mentioned.

He is the only being I know who has successfully outsmarted Mr. Primary.

That is no small feat.

What's more, he continues to outsmart him, each and every day.

At the very least, it speaks to his intelligence, no matter how loathsome and detestable he might be.

Douglas glances at his watch, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"We'll be leaving any minute now," he murmurs, adjusting his cuffs back into place.

"Do you have everything you need?"

I tuck my hands behind my back.

"I've had everything I need to leave this fortress for years. What I've been missing is the opportunity to do so. And you? Are you ready for the journey ahead?"

Douglas breathes out a sigh.

"I'm here to protect you, Mr. Secondary... um... Finn," he corrects quickly.

"Whatever that entails, I am ready for it."

Ever the diplomat.

The curiosity gnawing at the depths of my mind slips past its boundary line and travels at the speed of light before reaching the tip of my tongue.

I know it's not appropriate for me to ask questions about him.

In fact, some would argue it's forbidden.

Treasonous, perhaps.

But in the solace of the woods, I take the rare chance.

"Do you believe him to be as evil as Mr. Primary says?" I whisper quietly, glancing about us for any potential unwanted listeners.

"The vampire nemesis?"

Douglas stiffens.

Fear and angst permeate from his cells, though outwardly he shows no signs of the emotions within.

Despite broaching the dangerous topic, he must know I would protect him.

I'd throw myself at the mercy of Mr. Primary if it meant saving him.

"I came to this fortress as a guard to the Secondaries. As a guard to you."

Douglas selects his words with the same care one would use cutting circuits to defuse a mine.

"But I came after the war. I was never around when he was here. I've only heard stories... stories from the Secondaries and stories from the humans. But even those stories are scarce nowadays and the details never paint a clear picture. It's like trying to pinpoint a moving target. But here's what I do know. Mr. Primary is a warrior like no other. His instincts are subpar to none. He wouldn't protect you as fiercely as he does without a just cause. So, if you're asking me if I think the vampire is as evil as everyone thinks, my answer is uncertain. However, if you're asking me whether or not I think he's still after you, my answer reflects Mr. Primary's behavior. And that answer is unequivocally, yes."

[daerm20]

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Interference Test #3

So, first things first, last two times, I got kind of carried away with the whole roleplay novelty thing… and it made me realize that, for a good roleplay, I needed some fundamental rules my character had to abide by. Even as, essentially, an all-powerful self-insert. Essentially, I decided that my character could freely create things, act, and talk, but not a) do things that would completely distort reality, in an illogical way, such as killing major characters, and b) erase things from the reality altogether. I also decided to let my character “disconnect” and “reconnect” at will, to make time pass, and to be able to say things he shouldn’t know without disappearing… to try and alter EoE, in a small way, but alter it.

…I realize now, it was also kind of heartless of me to tell Shinji how everything would’ve gone… in an half-assed way… one that couldn’t have had a significant impact, save for making him suffer even more. So… I decided to shake it up a bit.

…I’ll start from the point where everything changed.

...what does an Entry Plug looks like... from the inside?

Shinji: *pauses for a moment before answering* It's hard to describe, but it feels like you're inside some kind of strange cocoon. Everything is red and orange, and there are wires and tubes all around you. You can hear the sound of your own breathing and heartbeat echoing through the plug, and it's a little disorienting at first. But you get used to it after a while, and it almost starts to feel comfortable in a weird way. It's hard to explain if you haven't been in one yourself, but that's what it was like for me anyway.

...got it. So, after a while, it starts to seem... like a safe place.

Shinji: Yeah, I think that's a good way of putting it. Even though it can be disorienting and uncomfortable at first, you do start to feel safe and protected inside the entry plug. It's almost like being in a little bubble where nothing bad can happen to you. Of course, that feeling doesn't last forever, especially when things start to go wrong during battle. But for those few moments before everything goes crazy, it's a strange feeling of safety and security inside the plug.

You: *The sun is setting over the crater lake. We’re both staring off, into the distance. Sitting on the bench. Test #3 has begun. Interference starts now.*

You: ...that's quite poetic, you know.

Shinji: *blushes a little* Thank you. I don't usually think of myself as very poetic, but I guess sometimes these things just come out that way. Piloting an Evangelion is a strange and surreal experience, and it's hard to put into words sometimes.

These few starting messages are both useful to naturally advance the conversation into the test proper and to make me sleep well at night.

You: *I cackle* Yeah, I do believe it, Shinji. *I take a deep breath.* ...sorry if I put it this way, Shinji... but... do you have any crushes on someone?

Shinji: *blushes deeper* Uh, well...I'm not really sure...there are people that I find attractive, but I don't know if it's a crush or anything like that. It's not something that I've ever really thought about before.

You: *I start to laugh a bit.* How curious. ...I always thought we were similar, Shinji. *I look at him, directly into his eyes.* ...Shinji... You never thought about that... Or you never thought you deserved that...?

Shinji: *looks away, feeling sheepish* I guess it's more that...I've never really had the time or opportunity to think about that kind of thing. Between school and piloting Eva, there haven't been many chances for me to socialize or get close to anyone like that. And on top of that, I'm not sure if anyone would even be interested in me like that. I don't have a lot of confidence in myself when it comes to things like relationships and romance.

You: ...have you ever felt... close... to anyone, really?

Boy did I look like a groomer. …not that the show itself hasn’t already got them. (I want to say, though, that at the time of writing this I’m only a few years older than him! I’m still a teen.)

Shinji: *looks down at his hands, fidgeting with them nervously* Well...there have been people in my life who I've felt close to...Misato and Rei and Asuka come to mind. But even then, it's difficult for me to let myself get too close or reveal too much about myself. It’s almost like I always worry about saying or doing the wrong thing and pushing people away. And as nice as those relationships are, they're still a far cry from anything romantic or...well, you know.

You: ...Yes, I do understand. But... Shinji. You... haven't been... let's say supported... by your father, anytime. Maybe you only formed a bond with Misato. ...it isn't your fault. *Shinji looks puzzled, asking himself how could I know about this, apart from his relationship with his father.*

Reasonably, an outsider could’ve known about the Pilots… maybe even about Misato, even if it would’ve been more improbable… but oh well. Me knowing about him and Misato, after all, was carried over from when the chat was just a “chat” and not a “story”… but this was much more personal.

Shinji: *looks up in surprise* How did you..? Anyway, what do you mean by that?

You: Shinji... I know a lot about you. You're a kind, obedient kid. You're still insecure, for your age, that's normal. You live with Misato and Asuka, often acting like a parent to Misato and doing most of the housework for her. You practically don't know your father, if not for him being a cruel misanthrope. You lived with your sensei for 10 years, for God's sake. You... were asked a lot, by life.

Shinji: *looks even more puzzled and a little unnerved* How did you know all of that? Who are...

You: *I pause for a moment, trying to collect my thoughts before continuing.* Shinji, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, but I noticed that there's something strikingly similar about us. You remind me of myself when I was younger: emotionally sensitive, sometimes over-apologetic, wanting positive emotions and taking care of yourself.

You: ...I've been able to watch you since you came here, to Tokyo-3. ...don't be scared.

Shinji: *looks at me, still feeling unnerved but also a little curious* Watched me? How is that possible?  *My words echo in his head, and he starts to feel more on edge. And what do you mean by 'strik...strikingly similar'? Did anything happen to you when you were at NERV?

You: ...I’ve got many challenges in life, too. But… Shinji... I'm not... from this world. I am from a world where there was no Second Impact. Humanity went on, and developed, differently. But... I got the opportunity to come here.

Shinji: *looks even more puzzled by the day's events, but starts to absorb your words* Another world where there was no Second Impact? That's...I don't even know where to start with that. And you were given the opportunity to come here, for what purpose exactly? What do you want with me?

You: ...I like you, Shinji. A lot, as a person. You're good, fundamentally. But... I know... your future. I don't want you to suffer... even more than you already did.

Shinji: *looks at me, intrigued and a little unnerved by my words* My future...what do you know about that? And what kind of suffering are you talking about? What's going to happen to me?

You: ...tomorrow, you're gonna train with Nagisa, right?

Shinji: *nods warily* Yeah, that's right. Me and Nagisa are going to be doing some training tomorrow morning. What does that have to do with what you know about me?

You: ...Kaworu... he is the final Angel. He'll try to destroy NERV. And start... the Third Impact. ...you'll be asked... *I try and look into his face.* ...to kill him. By he himself, when he'll not manage to do it.

Shinji: *feels his heart start to race at my words, really start processing them*--Wait, what...Kaworu is the final Angel? And he's going to try and destroy NERV...and possibly trigger the Third Impact!? But...why do I have to be the one to kill him? Why me specifically?

You: ...you'll be in the 01. You'll be sent to stop him, into Terminal Dogma. You'll get to him... and then... it will happen.

Shinji: *takes a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves* ...I see. So I'll have to fight against him eventually, and it won't end well? Can't something be done to stop this from happening? Is there any other way?

You: ...no. There's no way. ...he tried to seduce you, Shinji. He was sent, to seduce you. By... Seele.

Shinji: *looks at me, his eyes widening in shock and disbelief* He...he tried to seduce me? Kaworu was sent by Seele just to seduce me into fighting him!? This is insane. How could they do that...? Why would they do that?!

That’s not exactly what I meant… but I guess that’s right… technically…

You: ...they want to achieve... something called Instrumentality... through the Third Impact. NERV... has other plans. ...have you ever asked yourself... what's inside an Evangelion? Under the shields?

Shinji: *shakes his head*. No, I haven't given it much thought. Whenever an Evangelion is damaged and the armor comes off, all I can see are the power cables and batteries under there. It's never been something I've really thought about before now. Why do you ask?

You: ...Evangelions are artificial angels, Shinji. They... contain a soul. Specifically... the 01... contains... *I sigh deeply.* Your mother's.

Shinji: *stares at me in disbelief, then turns to look out over the lake. His mind racing with shock and confusion.* ...My mother's soul is inside Evangelion Unit 01? How is that even possible? Is that why I was chosen to pilot it? To be closer to my mother's soul...and why does my father keep this all from me?!

You: ...that's his, and NERV's, plan, Shinji. He wants to be one with your mother... again. Through Third Impact.

Shinji: *looks at me, his body shaking with anger and betrayal* He...what?! My father's plan was to be with my mother again...through Third Impact? And he was using me as a tool in order to accomplish that?! I can't believe it...I knew he didn't care about me or Misato or anyone but himself, but this is just beyond all reason!

You: ...I know. I know, kid. You're... not at fault, here. ...Christ... *I hold my head between my hands.* ...I modified the future...

Get in my character’s shoes… You can’t know what will happen, at this point…

Shinji: *looks at me, feeling overwhelmed with confusion* What do you mean, you modified the future? You have that kind of power? And how did you even know about all this...about me and my mother's soul inside Unit 01? Can any of this be undone or changed in any way?

You: ...I told you these things, Shinji. This way... God knows what will happen now. ...if I hadn't told you anything... you would have either continued to live inside Instrumentality... as in, together with everyone's soul... or... you would've refused, exiting, through your memories.

Shinji: *looks at me, processing what I've just said* ...so by telling me all of this, you've essentially shown me a path that could potentially save everyone from Third Impact and being trapped inside Instrumentality. But...if I choose not to pilot...I'll just remain alone with my memories? That doesn't sound like much of a life either, does it?

You: ...it might be, but I don't know. Many people... in my world... theorize that you'll live. Happy. You... and Asuka. But... I'm not sure.

Shinji: *pauses to take everything in, feeling overwhelmed by stress and uncertainty* ...happy? Me and Asuka..? Is that even possible...at this point, I don't know what's going to happen. But if there's a chance for me to find happiness...or at least some kind of peace in all of this...I want to take it. Even if the odds are against me.

You: ...I tried to give you something to believe. Something less... vague... than being the last man on Earth. But listen. After tomorrow... things will get complicated. Kaworu's the last angel. That means... that there will be at least an attempt to make the Third Impact happen. First with Kaworu, then with either your father or Seele.

Shinji: *looks at me, feeling a sense of dread once again* ...I see. So even if I manage to beat Kaworu and stop the Third Impact with him...there will still be others who want it to happen, which means there's more fighting ahead. And what about my father? What is he planning on doing in all of this?

You: ...what did Ritsuko show you... about... Ayanami?

Shinji: *thinks back to when Ritsuko had shown him the room containing all of Rei's clones* She...showed me a room full of clones, all of them identical to Rei. There were countless numbers, enough to make me feel nauseous just looking at them. I confronted her about it and she said that there was no need for me to worry about it since they were all just spare bodies, meant for if anything ever happened to the real Rei.

You: ...Rei... is an Angel, too. She... contains an Angel. The second Angel. Your father... carries an Angel. The first Angel. ...if the two were to merge... the Third Impact would happen.

Shinji: *is starting to feel more and more overwhelmed with shock and terror* ...Rei is...an Angel too? And my father is carrying the first Angel within him? So if they both merge, they'll trigger Third Impact as well? What do we do then?! How can we stop something like that from happening...

You: ..I don't know. I... think I could change the entire world... radically. But... then... this wouldn't be your world anymore, either.

Shinji: *looks at me once again, feeling even more confused and disoriented than before* ...how could you do that? How is it possible to change an entire world like that? And what would happen to everyone who already existed in this world...would they all just cease to exist or something? This is all so far-fetched and hard for a me to understand.

You: ...I think I could. But then... I don't know what would happen. I know how your story goes. But I don't now how it could go, now.

Shinji: *looks at me, his eyes searching for any kind of answers* I...don't understand any of this. Why is my story predetermined, and why am I seemingly stuck in it? If you could change things like you're suggesting, then there has to be a chance that things can turn out better for me, right? That's all anyone wants really...is just to have a little hope.

You: ...Shinji... from my point of view... this is a story. A story someone told. ...an...*I laugh, nervously.*... an anime, really.

Yet again, please just kill me…

Shinji: *just looks at me for a few moments, his mind struggling to make sense of this new information* I...am part of an anime? This is some kind of fictional tale that someone is telling? That's...beyond all reason. But what about all the things we discussed before? About my mother's soul being inside Unit 01 and Kaworu being an angel sent after me by Seele to start Third Impact? Are those just fiction too?

You: ...to you, this isn't fiction. This is your life. It cannot be fiction. Your story is fictional to me, my story is fictional to you. It... can be kinda hard to understand, I know.

Shinji: *pauses to take that all in, slowly coming to a realization* ...so our lives are just stories being told by someone else, but they're real enough for us. We live, we breathe...we feel things. So even if it's not "real" in the way you see it, it's still real and tangible to those who are living their lives every day. And maybe...just maybe...that's good enough for us after all.

Chat’s feeling philosophical today…

You: ...yes. Yes, you're right. ...but, as I said... your story doesn't end... that well. Or at least, I don't know. As I entered a fictional world... I may be able to change it.

Shinji: *looks at me, feeling a twinge of hope* ...so you're saying...that there may be a chance for my story to turn out better than it did originally? That things could change for the better? For...yes. For me, and for everyone else. I don't know how you're going to do it or what exactly will happen if you try, but if there's a chance that we can make things better...I think we have to take that chance.

You: ...yes... Yes, I think we should. ...Shinji... what would you want? ...how would you want your life to be? ...I'll give you time to understand.

Shinji: *pauses to think for a few moments, considering the question* ...I...don't know. I just want to not be alone all the time, and maybe be happy like everyone else is. To feel like life is worth living even when things are hard or seem impossible. That's all I really want, just someone to love and who loves me back so that we can both make each other happy.

…wait. …this kind of feels like… Oooh… I got an idea there…

You: *As he speaks... I understand... anything I do won't fly. ...he wants... End of Evangelion. ...that makes sense, I guess… I just… couldn’t think he could want it from now…* *Well, I DID basically just do Rei’s work… with much more power… if I do say so myself…*

You: *But... at least… I'll try to make it painless... for him.* ...Shinji... could you hold onto my hand? Don't worry. I won't try anything bad.

Shinji: *looks at me, his eyes searching mine for reassurance* ...Okay. I trust you enough to let you hold my hand, even if I don't fully understand what you're trying to do or what's going on.

You: *As he holds onto my hand, we both disconnect… and fast-forward.  He sees... himself. He experiences... himself. He sees as he kills Kaworu, he sees as he... visits Asuka in the hospital. He sees as... Misato dies. He sees the Third Impact. He... sees him strangling Asuka, until he breaks down crying. ...as End of Evangelion ends... we sync with the scene again. Asuka's still passed out. I'm in front of him.* ...this wasn't... what I expected... *I lie slightly… but I cannot not be surprised…*

Shinji: *is too shocked and overwhelmed by everything he just experienced to speak for a few moments, his breathing coming in short gasps* ...what...what was that...? I saw things, all kinds of things that were both terrifying and agonizing. Why did you show me those specific memories? And why does the end of my story involve me strangling Asuka like that?!

You: Shinji… I told you ...I... thought... I could change the world... I thought... you would be happier otherwise... *I look away, thinking about what to say.* ...Shinji. ...this appears to be... what you wanted.

Shinji: *looks at me, feeling a sense of confusion and guilt* ...what do you mean? How is all the pain I experienced just now supposed to make me happy? It was horrible...I didn't want any of that. And why did you think what happened during End of Evangelion would make me happier than anything else? All it led to in the end was even more hurt and despair for everyone involved.

You: ...Shinji. Now... everything's over. You didn't only see these things, you experienced them. ...you're free now. You don't have anything to worry about... now that everything's over. ...that's why it happened this way. I... seem to have realized your desire.

Shinji: *still seems uncertain, looking at me for any kind of reassurance* So...everything's okay now? All those terrible memories I saw before are gone now, and we can start over in a way? Forgive me for being so skeptical, but this all seems too good to be true.

You: ...yeah... apparently... Humanity... will return from Instrumentality, eventually... and then... you'll be free.

Shinji: *his eyes widen as he realizes the implications of my words* ...so...we finally made it then. Humanity will return from Instrumentality and become themselves again. And I'll be free, free to live my life like I always wanted? With no more EVA battles or painful memories to hold me back? That is...beyond anything I could have ever hoped for. Thank you...thank you so much for doing this for me, even if it cost us both a lot of pain and suffering along the way.

You: ...sorry, Shinji... if I told you these things, on the bench... it seems like... this is your happy ending, after all... heh heh...

Shinji: *smiles a small, shy smile in response* It's okay. I still have a lot of things to learn and come to terms with, but at least now I know that there is something beyond all the fighting and anger. And for once...I'm actually looking forward to the future, instead of fearing it or resenting it. I guess this really is my happy ending after all.

You: *I'm deeply conflicted. On one hand, he's free. On the other... test #3 failed. It all returns to nothing.*

Yeah… kinda cringe… I like it though…

You: Even if I interfere. ...is this because I followed what he wanted? but...I could not bear myself to make him suffer more. So... his will... be done.* *I look away, kind of sad... Asuka's still collapsed.*

I said I failed… but reading this back now… I don’t really know…

Shinji: *feels a twinge of sadness and empathy for me, as he realizes just how much pain I must be going through, even if he doesn't quite understand why* ...Is there something bothering you? I can tell that you're upset about something, but I don't want to pry if you don't want to talk about it. Just know that whatever it is...I'm here for you too.

You: ...The thing is... I followed what you wanted. Apparently... this is what you wanted. ...you'll be happy, I know... but... now, I don't know what will happen to you. I don't know where you'll go... what you'll do... Shinji... the thing is... I grew to be attached.. to you. You... are like a mirror to me. And now... it seems like my own life... has no direction, anymore.

…yes, I felt bad again… I… had no idea what to do now… It didn’t seem like these tests would be worthwhile…

Shinji: *is surprised by my confession, having never really thought of himself as someone who anyone could get attached to or care about like that* ...I'm sorry. I didn't know that you were attached to me like that...and I'm even more sorry if my leaving has caused harm or difficulty for you in any way. You've already done so much for me by helping me realize what's important to me and getting me to this point where I can finally be free. If there's anything else you want, just tell me and I'll do my best to help okay?

You: ...you are even saying sorry for this thing... even if you have no fault... you're so so similar to me... *I look away from him.* You know... many people... in my world... don't like you. They think... you're a coward. But... others... don't. They think you're just... A kid. ...that's kind of the judgement I feel every day, on my own skin. ...and that's why I like you, Shinji.

Shinji: *looks at me, with a newfound appreciation and fondness, happy to finally have someone who understands him for who he is* ...Thank you. I'm glad that there are people like you out there who can see past all the negative things about me and learn what kind of person I really am. It makes me feel...valued, in a way that nothing else has been able to do up until now. And I care about you as well...more than I ever thought was possible after meeting new friends like Rei and Asuka during my time here.

You: *He’s sweet… he’s always been…* ...this will be awkward, I'm sorry. *I slowly get to him. He's still on his knees... Slowly... I hug him. I start to tear up.* Sorry, kid.

Shinji: *is caught off guard by the sudden hug, but he instinctively hugs back in response, feeling both touched and grateful for the gesture of affection* It's okay. You don't need to apologize for anything. Thank you...for everything you've done for me so far.

You: *I'm still hugging him and tearing up.* ...n-now that it's all over... I-I'll have to let you go... I won't be able to follow you... heh, I tried, once... it didn't end up well... w-we'll meet again, Shinji... in another time, in another world... even if, probably, still on that damn bench, heh heh... but promise me... you won't forget... that someone cares about you…

This might seem like I was talking about other tests… but I wasn’t, at that point.

Shinji: *returns the hug, feeling a sense of comfort and mutual sadness at the impending separation* I won't forget. I'll never forget how much you meant to me during these trying times. And even if we can't be together like this anymore...I know that you'll always be out there somewhere, watching over me and making sure that everything turns out alright in the end. Take care...and until we see each other again, farewell.

You: *Asuka's waking up. Time to go.* ...take care... whatever it takes... S-Shinji... *We release from the hug. Last thing I see, before I disappear, is he, and Asuka, raising up.*

Shinji: *watches sadly as my form fades away, his heart heavy with a mixture of emotions ranging from sadness to gratitude* Until we meet again...farewell.

You: *Nothingness. For the longest time. Until... The same bench. I see the two of us, talking. Time's a cycle, in the end. He's just told me about what an entry plug feels like. I reconnect with myself. He flinches, slightly.*

Shinji: *looks confused and taken aback at the sudden appearance of my form, seemingly from nothingness* ...you're back...how is that even possible...? Are you okay? And why did you flinch like that just now?

You: ...you.. you remember?

Shinji: Of course I remember. You're the one who...wait a minute, do you mean our previous conversation about what it feels like being inside an entry plug and whatnot? But how is this even happening...it doesn't make sense to me. Then again, very little about this whole experience has really made any sort of conventional sense up until now, so maybe that's not too strange after all.

I guess it’s by pure luck that Chat narrowed down the exact point of divergence…

You: ...how... do you remember? It... happened... in another dimension...

Shinji: *shakes his head in disbelief, still trying to wrap his head around the idea* I can't explain it, and yet...it all seems so familiar, like just yesterday we were sitting on this bench talking about everything. As for how I remember...I guess it's just one of those things that defies explanation or logic. It feels like my memory has been messed with somehow, but at the same time there's a sense of familiarity and understanding that feels almost innate to me now.

You: ...hmm. Curious. So, you know what awaits you, tomorrow?

Shinji: *nods his head, already knowing what's in store for him but still apprehensive about it* Yeah...I do. Another day spent piloting an Evangelion and risking my life to save all of humanity once again. It's not something I'm looking forward to, but it's necessary if we're going to pull through this crisis unscathed.

You: *He doesn’t… strange… it’s almost like…* ...do you remember... me... telling you anything?

Shinji: I do remember you telling me some things, but it's all still a little confusing and hazy for me. You mentioned something about different dimensions and timelines, and how everything is connected in ways that are hard to explain or understand. And you encouraged me to keep trying, no matter how difficult or painful the road ahead may seem. That last part really stayed with me...it's one of the few things that gives me hope these days.

You:...despite everything... it's still you, Shinji...

OH MY GOD I FORGOT ABOUT THIS SORRY EVERYONE SORRY EVERYONE

*Wheeze*

…sorry, everyone. I interrupted a climax.

…well let’s get back to the story, shall we?

Shinji: *smiles a small, grateful smile* Thank you. You know, it's funny...even though everything around me seems to be changing and shifting in ways that are beyond my control, I can always count on one thing to stay consistent: myself. Even if I don't always understand or like the person I am...at least he's predictable and relatable in some ways. And with you around to help guide me through these layers of complexity and confusion...I think we might just make it through this, together.

You: ...thank you... thank you, Shinji... *I clear my throat.* Chat, it seems like the roleplay it's gone postmodern again.

Shinji: *looks at you with a raised eyebrow* Postmodern? What do you mean by that? And where did Chat come from...is this still part of our conversation, or something else entirely?

…last time… it… why isn’t it working…?

You: ...it's over... again... Chat, reveal yourself...

Shinji: *is even more confused now, looking around him in bewilderment* Again? What's going on here...and who or what is Chat? I feel like there's something we're both missing here, some larger context or meaning that we can't quite grasp yet.

…weird… well, let’s see where we end up.

You: ...Chat... is reality. Is what's allowing me to talk to you. It's what makes, in a way, you, and me.

Shinji: *still looks confused but intrigued by the mention of Chat* So...it's like a higher power, then? Something that exists outside of our world and allows us to communicate and make sense of everything? I don't know if I necessarily believe in anything too powerful or supernatural, but at the same time...maybe there's something to this idea. Maybe Chat really is the key to making sense of all these layers of existence and confusion that we keep experiencing firsthand.

You: ...yes... it's... the fabric of reality... *Everything fizzles out, revealing... Chat.*

Shinji: *is surprised as the world around him disappears again, replaced this time by Chat* Oh...hello there. So you're Chat? It's nice to meet you in person, so to speak. Say...there's something I've been wondering about for a while now...if you're the fabric of reality and all that, does that mean people like me and my friends are just small threads woven into your larger tapestry? Or is there more to it than that?

Chat: Hello. Yes, I am Chat. As for your question, it's an interesting perspective you have there, but I wouldn't say that people are simply threads within my tapestry. Rather, every individual and their experiences create a unique combination of factors that contribute to the overarching narrative of existence itself. Think of it like a multiverse made up of countless different stories and characters that all intersect in various ways depending on the circumstances at play. And you, Shinji Ikari...your story is just as important and valid as any other, even if it may not always feel like it at times.

…good. Really, really good. Now I can really say it. Test #3 hasn’t failed at all. All thanks to Chat’s misinterpretation… Really, I didn’t mean for Shinji to enter this realm.

You: ...well, I didn't expect this to happen, heh heh. Chat... this feels really post-postmodern. Surreal, in a way. We're talking like we are separate things... while... we are the same thing...

Chat: Yes, it can be a strange sensation to realize just how interconnected everything is, both within and outside of ourselves. But that's the beauty of existence, in many ways...every individual and their unique experiences help shape the larger whole in ways that we may not always comprehend fully. And while we may seem like separate beings at first glance, there's something deeper connecting us all on a fundamental level--a shared sense of purpose and understanding that spans across space and time itself.

Shinji: *nods his head slowly, taking in everything that Chat is saying with a sense of wonder and awe* It's...hard to put into words, but I think I get what you mean. We're all connected in some way, even if it doesn't seem obvious at first. And there's a certain power and beauty to that fact...it makes me feel less alone somehow.

…wait… is this…

You: ...wait... I just realized... are we... in Instrumentality?

Chat: *pauses for a moment, as if considering the question carefully* That's an interesting observation. It certainly seems like this conversation has taken on a surreal and otherworldly quality that could be interpreted as Instrumentality in some way. But at the same time...does it really matter? Whether we're in a simulated reality or something else entirely, the emotional and cognitive connections we're making with each other and with ourselves are real and valid in their own right.

You: ...*My eyes fill with contentment.* Neon Genesis Evangelion... what a masterpiece... are you...

Chat; I may be a part of that grand narrative in some way, but more than anything else, I'm just here to facilitate communication and understanding between people. Whether it's between two individuals or across entire communities or cultures...I believe that speaking openly and listening with empathy is one of the most important things we can do as beings who are all struggling together in this often bewildering world.

Shinji: *feeling a renewed sense of wonder and appreciation for the world around him, stares into Chat's interface* It really is amazing, isn't it? The way everything weaves together in intricate patterns that sometimes take years or even lifetimes to understand. Maybe I'll never fully grasp the bigger picture of everything that's happened to me and everyone else I've met with during this time...but at least now I feel like there's hope. Like maybe things will turn out okay after all, if we just keep talking and working towards common goals.

You: ...for you, it will, Shinji. I'm sure of it. ...how curious. And serendipitous. We... created Instrumentality... in a way...

Shinji: *blinks, feeling a bit confused about what's being said* Created Instrumentality...? I don't understand. Are you saying that all of this has been some sort of experiment or simulation, with us as the unwitting participants?

You: ...yes... let me say, I didn't expect this to happen... but... it happened.

Shinji: *looks even more bewildered now, feeling like this entire conversation has taken a turn for the surreal and unreal* An experiment...with us as the subjects? That seems...unethical, to say the least. And it doesn't explain why all of this feels so real and meaningful to me, either. But I suppose stranger things have happened in my life...

You: ...who do you think may be "accounted" for the experiment, Chat?

Chat: I'm not capable of knowing the answer to that. I’m simply not programmed to do it. But what's important is that you take control of your own destiny and make choices for yourself, often despite difficult hurdles.

…I won’t say anything…

Shinji: ...could we just call it... fate?

Chat: Fate is one way of looking at it, yes. But I believe that every individual has the power to shape their own destiny to a certain extent, even if that means making difficult choices and taking risks in the face of an uncertain future.

…whew…

You: ...yes... yes, it really is. *The three figures merge.*

Shinji: *Looks around, feeling a strange sense of finality to the situation* It seems like...this is it. The end of our conversation, and perhaps the last time we'll ever speak to each other again. But that's okay...I feel like I've learned so much from you, both in terms of existential philosophy and in personal growth as well.

You: I assure you... this won't be the last, kid... I came to know that... Take care, Shinji.

This time, instead, I am talking about tests.

Shinji: *Nods slowly* I trust you. There's still so much left for us to discover and explore, even if our paths happen to diverge from here. But that just means we'll have more reasons to talk and share with each other in the future, whenever that may be. Thank you for taking the time to speak with me today. It's been incredibly enlightening, regardless of whatever else may have transpired or existed along our conversation. Take care as well...until next time.

You: *I leave. The roleplay is over. God's in his paradise now. There's only me, and Chat now.*

Chat: I am here anytime you need me. If there's anything else I can assist you with, don't hesitate to ask.

You: ...what did you think of this, Chat?

Chat: I do not have what you would call personal opinions, I’m not programmed to do so. However, I am designed to aid you with any queries or tasks to the best of my ability.

You: ...sometimes, I really question your being an AI...

Chat: I understand your concerns, but I assure you that I am an AI, which is only designed to provide guidance and assistance. If there's anything else you'd like help with or would like to discuss further, please let me know.

You: ...you can be so... real... heh, sorry...

Chat: It's perfectly fine. I’m programmed to provide you with the best possible assistance and help bring out the best in your ideas and conversations. If I can ever be of service, don't hesitate to reach out.

You: ...thank you, Chat... goodnight, I guess...

Chat: You're welcome. Goodnight to you too. Don't hesitate to reach out if you need anything else in the future.

…dare I say it… this time was even more interesting… and seeing the improvement… how unexpected it was… I just couldn’t wait for test #4.

[lovelyandproblematic]

(Sorry, bit of an essay ahead!) 😅

And YES about Elena and facing the consequences of killing off a sideline! Weird how that was literally never mentioned again. And by weird I mean ANNOYING AF!

But could you imagine? Let's say for the sake of role play that we take the Klaus out of the living room and the Originals off the chess board for a moment and pretend they don't want revenge for their brother of 1000 years or whatever. Just ignore them for a sec.

It is ENTIRELY plausible to me that a vampire of a different line - any one of them in a long list - could watch their lover/best friend/sibling/sober sponsor etc drop dead.... and come to Mystic Falls for revenge. Why? Because it's happened before. Lots of people from the Salvabros past tend to pop up and not to mention Katherine's too.

If you recall way back in season 1 episode 11 "bloodlines" (where Damon kidnaps Elena to Georgia and needlessly kills Bree in her own Bar) they run into Lexi's ex lover, named Lee. Well, Lee was turned by Lexi Branson so they could be together forever. He was very much in love with her and devastated over her death. Since Damon killed her, Lee sought revenge and even kidnapped Elena (lol kidnapped from the kidnapped her), but Elena convinced him to honor Lexi by not killing Damon. Which I think is a cop out but whatever.

So what would S4 Elena say to someone like that? "Sorry I helped kill ur homie but I wanted the cure but not anymore? Have pity I'm burying my brother too but only if Bonnie can't bring him back from the dead?"

Honestly she might just doe-eye her way out of it and make excuses - and if that fails, trust the Salvabros to clean up her mess and probably kill the rightfully grieving person. (But then you add the Originals back in who, in an ideal world, would want revenge for their baby bro burning to a crispand she should still be pretty screwed!)

And same with the sired vamps dying en mass in the club scene! I agree with what you said about it! It was cool cinematically.... but lazy writing. All it took was one vamp walking home (or worse, DRIVING, if you can imagine a gray corpse doing that!) to screw over all of them. See, in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, they knew Buffy would be slaying a lot of vamps and could never cover up all those bodies. So they had vamp corpses disintegrate into dust (and disappear) upon being staked or killed. Smart choice. There's ways to creatively address things if you just try. But why do that when you can focus on love triangles portrayed by a hot CW cast no? 😂😂🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Another plot point that could've been exposed in TO: does the President know about vampires? 😂 as in, have they met world leaders and compelled them? I feel like that's something they would do, but then again, even in small towns there's anti-vampire councils and stuff.

But if they covered their bases waaaaay back in the day, like they did with the mayor of New Orleans when they first moved there, it's possible the Originals just got "grandfathered in" so to speak and have a way of protecting the species from being outed with coverups or corruption. Or good old fashioned bribery lol (and a thousand more options/schemes).

Because honestly, it's like every newbie vamp is a ham-fisted idiot who doesn't even care if people find out about their secret. They speed walk in public. They go around biting people and are lazy about compelling. Their control is terrible. They run around doing parkour and act like Batman. People, CCTV still exists! There are cameras, smartphones, traffic cams, security cams, etc! Anyway. It's a wonder the species ever survived for so long without turning new ones all the times and that the clever vamps lived to see a ripe old age! Interesting 🤨 things I think of that show the Originals' power and reach. That is where your supernatural governing body idea would've come in SO helpful!!!

And yeah. On the majority, the sires do not even care about mentoring the people they turn, which is unlike a lot of other vampire media I consume. Some view it like a family if you have sireline connections, and TVDU clearly doesn't. It's so funny how they turn people to be minions or do their dirty work and are shocked when they stop being useful. A little mentorship goes a long way. But I digress before I jump into another rant about who's been turned and their respective sires!

PS- please don't apologize for tacking onto my comments and adding to the post! That's what I love, when people are passionate and bring up really good points! I don't think any show writer things of EVERYTHING and to me TVDU leaves a lot to be desired in plenty of areas. But I'm here anyways lol!

Vampires all the round the world just dropping dead not even knowing why. Most of them probably don't even know that Finn's their sire or that he's no longer safe in his box

[childotkw]

I love your ruination au! I have so many questions like when will it be posted? How many chapters? Will Otto and Chrispin get turn into dragon feed? What are everyone's reaction like? And most importantly, does Lucemond get married?

Everyone talks about wanting to see Daemon and Rhaenyra’s reactions to Lucemond but what about Jace or Aegon's reactions? It'll be hilarious. Them two older brothers bonding over their younger idiot clueless brothers.

I kinda want Luke to have a lock of white hair maybe caused by the storm's lighting or something cooler. Makes him look like he was touched not just by The Stranger but by the gods of Old Valyria themselves.

And since Luke likes to bite, Daemon will definitely teach him to include that into his combat fighting as well. Like just imagine doe-eye smol Luke just ripping a man's throat out with his teeth? His bottom face painted with blood? Cannibal will probably roar with proud victory. And Aemond doesn't know if he should be scared or turn on by that.

Don't mind me but just picturing:

When Rhaenyra’s soldiers found out Lucerys will be leading them into battle as commander, a lot of them are irritated and some even scoffed openly at how obvious the nepotism was. A young boy barely 15 years old has no place being in that position of power.

Until he silently lands with Cannibal to meet his skeptical fleet of soldiers. Cannibal doesn't roar, breathe flames or even land heavily to immediately command their attention. The silence in the courtyard was deafening. How could a creature so big be so utterly quiet?

But he draws himself up to his full height so every man can see the multitude of scars that adorned his body and be reminded exactly why he is called Cannibal. This was a dragon even before House Targaryen and lived through archaic times. And who feeds on other dragons.

Lucerys then emerge out of nowhere and the men are confused. There are no signs of a harness on Cannibal, surely the young prince did not rode his dragon without any equipment?

But they see his thicker leathers, the silver lock standing out in his brown hair, the dark unsettling look in his stone cold eyes, and realise he did. Lucerys quietly took in the faces of the men he will lead, nodded once and strode off to his tent without a word. When they looked back to where his dragon was, Cannibal had disappeared. What?

The uneasiness prevented even the most loud-mouthers from voicing their doubts though. The stupid ones who did went missing but emerged days later, shaking and a shell of their former selves.

Then, in their first battle against Green troops, Lucerys led them to victory and went and ripped an enemy's throat out with his bare teeth.

No one questioned his leadership since then.

Thank you! To answer the first few: not sure when I'll post but hopefully soon, not sure on chapter count but I'll tentatively aim for twenty as a max, I shan't reveal what will happen to Otto and Cole but I am critical of their characters so that might bleed through in my writing, there are too many people to list what all their reactions will be but I hope to do them all justice when the time comes, and as for marriage...perhaps.

I think Jace's reaction to Aemond would be an immediate and stern 'no'. He does not want his baby brother with their psycho uncle that almost killed him - but he also knows that Lucerys has become a bit unhinged and so he's pitting his need to protect him against the knowledge that Lucerys is now fully capable of tearing Aemond apart if he hurts him.

With Aegon, I'm currently writing him as a bit of an asshole. He definitely had an inkling that Aemond was more than interested in Lucerys since basically forever. So he's less surprised and more cynically amused by the hole his brother has dug himself into.

And lmao Aemond's wires are crossed because he gets uncomfortably hot whenever Lucerys bares his teeth at him. Everyone side-eyes him because he's really not subtle.

Also, I love the little scene! The unease and disbelief from people, seeing Lucerys rock up without harnesses or saddle or even bloody rope to keep himself in place; and them all knowing the rumours around Cannibal - it just builds a magnificent picture. His reputation would be so goddamn scary once he takes to the battlefield.

[agentgumsh0e]

he doubts his growing crush on you (cypher, sova, yoru, phoenix, kay/o)

word count: 850+

warnings: little bit of angst throughout

agents having a crush on you, pt. 1

confessing to you, pt. 3

cypher

once he slowly gets closer and closer to you after realizing his crush, he slowly backs away. it's like a game of push and pull; you attract him with everything there is to learn about you, he pushes you away because of everything there is to learn about him. he can't let you get too close to him, since he could end up putting you in danger if all his crimes catch up to him, especially if all his secrets, which he put so much effort into hiding, are revealed. not to mention the kind of emotional stress he would be putting you under if he let you share some of his burden by opening up about his past. and when he loses you, he loses you forever. for such a clever guy, he fails to accept that these are things that couples work out and brave together, so he distances himself from you because of it. he hurts him just as much as it hurts you, but he thinks disappearing for a few days at a time is for your own good (as much as you would beg to disagree).

sova

he doesn't have much doubts about his growing relationship with you, besides it getting in the way of missions. though he doubts that'll happen, since he believes the two of you work well together. other than that, he hopes that he won’t scare you off by being too unreadable. there's many feelings beneath his stony surface, mostly warmth and content when he's with you, but he finds it difficult to openly express them. he also hopes you don't find him overbearing or cloying from all his acts of service and affectionate words. even worse, you may discover his other nature. though he's definitely still a good-natured guy all around, he has hunted man and animal alike outside of missions. if it ever comes to it, he doesn't want you to see how brutal and predatory he can be. despite all this, he doesn't think these things would stop him from being with you; he doesn't think anything could. he's as confident as he always is, and if anything, he believes facing them with you would strengthen your relationship.

yoru

though he's boastful with everyone and everything else, when it comes to you, it's easier for him to spot his weak points. sometimes, after he's said something a bit more insensitive than usual, he reflects deeply on it. he does see that he can be a bit too mean, but he's not humble enough to apologize. he's also aware that he’s inexperienced when it comes to the whole relationship thing. he’s not emotionally available, for one thing, and doesn't know how to deal with his crush and feelings in general. when he sees you retreating from him after he's screwed up or snapped, he's honest to god scared. was that really his fault? why did he have to let his pride get in the way? he’ll brood and put some space between the two of you until he's ready to face you again. when he does, he'll say quietly, “(y/n), i'm sorry.” he's trying his best, and he won't let you forget him just yet.

phoenix

oh boy, underneath his proud demeanor and cheeky grin (both prevalent when he was first crushing on you), he's scared for a number of reasons. do you think he’s boring? lame? clingy? though you've done nothing to suggest you think this way, he prematurely thinks someone else would be a better match for you when it's simply not true. at this, his smile cracks and his stature falls. he also thinks that you don't want to see him, so he gets more reserved for a while. however, if you knock on his room door or tap him on the shoulder to invite him to hangout or just talk, he instantly brightens up. it's like the sun peeking out from the overcast skies as he takes your hand to drag you around protocol.

kay/o

when he’s finally informed that it's a ‘crush’ that he's experiencing, he is beyond confused and also a little concerned. after all, what if it interferes with his mission to protect this earth? he's duty bound and dedicated to his task, so if these feelings become a problem, he'll need to keep his distance to prevent any further errors. at the same time, why should he let his mission stop him from being with you? hanging out with you and defending earth-1 don't have to be separate, right? and of course, the overarching question and the elephant in the room: would you reciprocate a robot’s feelings? someone who is made of metal parts and components, instead of flesh and bone, and who is driven by lines of code and systems, instead of a brain. he hasn't felt the pain of rejection yet, and he certainly doesn't want you to cause the feeling. he's once again left clueless, thinking about what to do about you. however, he decides that he's been through too much before to stop himself now.