#it would be funny to someday end up on one of those Tumblr screenshot videos though

[dosomethingplease83]

I repost a lot of serious stuff. Stuff about politics, cults, abuse, etc.

But I also repost cat videos. It’s not because I’m unserious about the heavy topics, but because I can’t just be all doom and gloom and serious all the time. It’s a little break, a palette cleanser, something to be happy about that exists in the world right now instead of in some imagined better future.

IDK how other people use Tumblr, but I use it as a sort of personal scrapbook of things I find interesting or useful. Like a diary of reposts that I sometimes go back and read over again. I make it for me, not for other people to look at.

[filisaceaf]

oof ok i have a lot so you can choose (phan aus for the headcanons ask): detective au (one or both of them), au where dan is still a fan/never met phil in 2009, supernatural au (one of them is not human), x-men-type mutants au, hogwarts au (i had to :p)

You wanted only one AU you said? I’m sorry, Phan is my hyperfocus of the month so it looks like you win the headcannons of 3/5 the AUs and you know what? I’m not even sorry my homie.

This is long so I threw it under a cut.

Detective AU

1. Okay so, one would think Dan is the detective with his charming good looks who could get him into locations easily and charm people but Phil is actually a great detective because even though he’s tall, he just lives his life wanting to help people find something lost or someone missing or make sure people are not being unfairly treated. Dan is more his handler, part secretary (look someone needs to make sense of Phil’s notes, file them in a way that makes sense and is easily accessible to other people, and make sure Phil doesn’t overwork himself into a migraine like he has the past three weeks) and part paralegal at Phil’s little detective agency. He is very protective of his boss.

2. Phil loves being a detective. He doesn’t like to “spill tea” on clients like some people like to think he does, but he likes helping 80 year old women who were robbed get their wedding rings back or help someone find their missing child (he wishes those cases turned out a lot better than they usually do, but at the very least he helps people begin to grieve). He likes helping find justice and is actually pretty particular about what cases he’ll take. He hates doing cases about people thinking their spouses are cheating and really he does those if he’s desperate to make sure that he can pay Dan and his bills.

3. You can pry this one from my cold dead hands but Phil definitely has a corgi named Watson that he likes to dress up in plaid. Watson comes to the office with Phil because of long hours and has a little bed under Phil’s obnoxiously large desk that he bought specifically so he could have a bed for Watson there. Phil likes to pretend he’s hurt by Watson also curling up under Dan’s desk (but really he just goes soft for Dan’s voice going high pitched and “hello Watson”).

4. Dan is not a lawyer in the AU, but he did complete a paralegal program! As a paralegal, Dan can do legal research for anyone, but usually he does it for any jobs Phil did that end up needing to go to court. He can also draft legal documents and is also a notary; he just can’t legally represent anyone in court. Dan likes to joke that he is a slacker to the fact that “I’m a lawyer, but the bare minimum of one”. They met at college when Phil was in his last year of majoring in criminal justice and media studies and Dan was still on the track to wanting to be a lawyer. He took a gap (period) of years, had an existential crisis, became better friends with Phil during that time. Phil originally started his detective agency with another partner and when they left, Dan took over the secretarial side of things. It took him a few years, but he eventually went back to school to finish his paralegal certificate and Phil cheered the loudest at his graduation ceremony.

5. I don’t know how these two get together in the AU, but just know it is a slow burn. Like literal years and months and eons of mutual pining with them taking Watson on walks and late nights at the office and shared coffee runs and Dan always being scared Phil is going to do something super dangerous for his health like climb in a vent or park to close to a gangster’s house and get shot. After they get together, they do agree that Dan should get a another job because working together and living together with Phil’s unpredictable schedule was causing some fights for a long period of time (because they didn’t live together before this point). Dan does still stop by pretty often and double check the secretaries work and curl up in the corner of the sofa of Phil’s office (“Dan’s sofa crease” Phil affectionately calls it) and work on stuff for his other job at a nonprofit for mental health awareness.

Dan is a Fanboy and Literally the Biggest Philly AU (The barely alternate timeline tbh)

1. So, this is literally always my favorite kind of AU and I have a lot of soft feelings about these boys always managing to find each other somehow. But yes, Dan got discouraged after the like 100th time of subtweeting Phil and commenting on his videos and not getting a response, he never reached out to Phil for editing tips. Instead!!! He reaches out to a few other YouTubers years later when he’s going through his existential crisis and he’s like “you know, the last time i was happy was when I on YouTube all the time”. So he takes a gap year in university to try and see if it’s something he likes doing. He was not expecting for his channel to be well received. It takes him ages to figure out the jumpcut thing.

2. Because he never got to know Phil as young as he did, when they first meet at Summer In the City, Dan is actively trying not to lose his shit. Because holy fuck. This is Amazing Phil. This is the guy who he would play in the background while he studied and would donate so much on live streams and upvote and fuck he’s wearing some OG Phil merch with Lion on it. He walks around all day with his jacket zipped up because Phil can’t know he’s a fan; Phil is so smart and creative and funny and god. He’s completely turned upside down when Phil sees him and approaches him because “you’re danny’s snot on fire, right?”

Dan never regretted a username more in HIS LIFE and this exact moment lead to his rebranding months later

3. But they exchanged contact information and eventually did a collab video: Phil is Not on Fire. And they whole time, Dan is trying not to breathe too deep or do anything annoying because he’s in Phil’s bedroom??? His filming area??? His pants are on the floor like two feet away??? And when the tackle happens, Dan hopes he didn’t get a concussion and hallucinated the whole thing because Phil is warm and grinning at him with his tongue sticking out and holy shit, this is better than any video, gif, screen redraw, anything. Seeing it up close??? 

4. Phil doesn’t even notice Dan’s a fan until him and Jimmy do a ‘What’s in my tumblr tag?’ and Dan’s blog comes up with some Phil gif reblogs from back in the day and Phil just messages Dan screenshots. Dan is mortified. He’s going to delete his tumblr. He’s not Tyler (not that Tyler is bad, they’ve messaged a few times, but Dan’s not a /fanboy/ ((lmao he is))). Phil just giggles on the video and says that Dan is such a nice guy. Kind of. Definitely cheats at Mario Kart. Dan is literally going to die, this is the second best day of his life

5.They get together when they are both traveling for Playlist Live and they hook up at a party one of the nights there. Dan would be mortified if he didn’t wake up and Phil was still there. He didn’t take off in the middle of the night; he’s wrapped around Phil and Phil is mumbling under his breath about how Dan needs to stop moving and just sleep. Their coming out video is on Dan’s Channel and is Titled “I’m still #1 phil trash” which is a throw back to a privated video called “#1 phil trash” where it’s Dan talking about how talented and funny and inspirational Phil Lester is for six minutes because someone had asked him on Formspring who one of his idols was .

Hogwarts AU

1. Phil is from a magical household and his brother is a squib with a banging music career. Maybe it’s latent magic? Either way, Martyn is a sick af dj and Phil loves it when it’s time for summer vacation because he can visit Martyn in London and see some shows (he can’t go every night) or just wander around during the day with Martyn’s girlfriend Cornelia, who graduated from Durmstrang Institute, while Martyn sleeps off a late night show. Martyn being a Squib leads him to take Muggle Studies though because he wants to be able to connect with the world Martyn lives in and someday, at the rate technology is expanding, he is going to have to leave the isolating wizarding world. 

2. Dan is from a muggle family and it shows in the tenacious way he fights to be accepted by his fellow Slytherins. Every O on an assignment he gets is validation, because see I belong here, I’m one of you, I may not have families who can trace their magic past Bloody Mary or past the plague, but I am still one of Merlin’ people. He isn’t a braggart though; it’s more of an internal validation until someone asks him for help in a subject. 

3. Phil first really approaches Dan in his second year. He brought a hamster to Hogwarts (look, they’ve gotten relatively relaxed since Harry defeated the Dark Lord and the Peter Pettigrew Incident) and didn’t realize she was pregnant. The hamster had five babies and Phil remembered the lonely looking Slytherin who sat at the back of three of their house’s shared classes and thought “the boy needs a friend” so he gives Dan one of the babies. Dan names her Suki and spends so much time trying to make her happy.

4. Dan and Phil first kiss in Hogsmeade towards the end of their sixth year. Because look, these boys are magical but you can’t expect magic to help them get a clue. But they are sitting one one of the benches in town during early March and sipping Butterbeer and Phil just looks over and knows he has to kiss Dan. It’s a biological need. And it’s a good first kiss, warm and syrupy from the butterbeer.

5. Look I love Phil but I’m 99% sure Phil is someone who splinches when he Apparates. He leaves behind clothes more often than not, but there was one instance he left behind his left hand. Dan is fond, but it definitely explains the 20000 socks just lying around the flat they get after graduating.

[jjeehoon]

wanna one as your fanboys

requested by my fav woojin stan anon lol

have a gif of your man btw lol

a reverse au where instead of them being your idols, you’re being their idols. 

a/n: i did some editing on minhyun’s bc this man ain’t quiet,,, he’s literally the loudest out of nu’est smh  

jisung:

MEMES. Jisung would be the one fan who’d be turning you into a living meme. Even if you already were a living meme, he’d make you into an even funnier one. Plenty of screenshots of your cute derp faces would be sent to his friends often as reactions, due to the fact that he couldn’t react to their messages in real life. Sometimes, if he were ever feeling especially hilarious, he’d message you on Instagram with a meme he made of you captioned, “notice me unnie/oppa, please!” You’d view his profile when you were looking through your incredibly filled DMs, and you’d laugh loudly at the sight of his clearly male feed. If he met you in real life, he’d spend his time making you laugh with puns and funny faces the entire time, since it was short lived and he wanted to do anything to make it last. 

sungwoon:

Sungwoon admired you so, s o much, and no one could blame him, because he believed you were perfect. You were the juniors of his buddies, Kai and Taemin, and at one point, he was jealous that they were under the same company as you were. “So, like, when is your CEO gonna let me into the building to let me see (y/n) - I mean, your group members?” He’d ask them every once in a while. Sungwoon would also be singing along to your parts in your latest hit single while he was with his group of friends as if it weren’t obvious enough that he liked you. Once they finally obliged to him meeting you, his ears would heat up once he saw you, like they typically did when he was embarrassed. You would probably also hear some small voice cracks every now and then while talking to him, but probably because he was tired and flustered, which didn’t exactly click in his agenda. Oh well - you called him adorably handsome, and that’s all that matters.

minhyun:

There were two sides to his fanboy, the fanboy where he’d be smiling to himself when he hears your name on the streets or something, and the fanboy where he’s jumping around the house and happily screaming your new song. Neighbours of his wouldn’t be surprised when they hear his loud voice on the other side of the wall. Minhyun also seems like someone who enjoys making covers of your songs. He was pleased to think that your songs, your angelic voice matched with his light and thin tone extremely well. People who followed him were also your fans and they enjoyed his covers when he occasionally posted them, but the most important thing here is that they literally begged Minhyun to do a (y/n) selca day thing because they thought the two of you looked great together. After crying to himself, ranting to Dongho about it (”they’re like me to you, bro, they aren’t gonna let me live”), and disagreeing with his followers for the longest time, he would post it. And, not gonna be lying here, they were right - the amount of visual in that relationship would be incredible.

seongwoo:

Similarly to Jisung, he’d express his love through memes and other funny things. He’d probably be the type who has a spam account on Instagram where he posts crack videos that he made of you and photos of you making hearts captioned, “have I ever mentioned how much I f u c k i n g love (y/n) because I LOVE (Y/N) SO MUCH”. Probably also in the comments section of your music videos with the most original comments, including jokes and gags without forgetting to mention how great you looked and how wonderful you sounded. Seongwoo would never hesitate to start jamming out to your songs if they ever came on in public, hitting some of the dance moves smoothly while shopping for clothes. He’d draw some attention to the other shoppers, and he’d be hoping the slightest bit that you were there watching him dance as well.

jaehwan:

I don’t know why (lol), but Jaehwan seems like a proud member of stan twitter. Sometimes, he’d be really soft and post acoustic covers of your songs which would cause an uproar in the fandom. He’d smirk once he saw the amount of reposts there were on Twitter itself, as well as seeing his covers on Instagram and Tumblr. Other times, he’d be shitposting just as much as Seongwoo would be. Heck, Jaehwan and Seongwoo would probably be partners in crime, making the dankest memes possible and making other users vote for which meme is better. Jaehwan’s probably also the type to ship himself with you, saying things like, “look at that. Just look at it, Ong, (y/n) and I would be the ultimate visual couple. Ultimate visual, vocal, flute playing couple. No, shut up, I don’t care if (y/n) plays the clarinet. Our children would inherit our talent and beauty and they’d be fucking legends just like (y/n) was.” 

daniel:

As we all know, Daniel loves dancing to Signal, so he loves dancing to your songs as well. Like his husband #ongnielisscience Seongwoo, hearing any of your big hits in public means a celebratory dancing spree, no matter what he was doing at the time. At the vet for his cats? He’d be doing the hand movements in the waiting room. Just woke up from a coma? Playing your music gets him back into daily routine immediately. Preparing dinner with his family? He’d be shuffling down the counter to the upbeat melody. Asides from that, he would seems like the type of person to think about your ideal type every once in a while - he thought about how he would make a good boyfriend to you. Of course, he was smart enough to keep his daydreaming to himself; that is, until he meets you in person and just falls for you even harder.

jihoon:

I can honestly imagine Jihoon being your classmate while you’re an idol. He’d admire you from afar while you were with your close friends, he would feel jealous once someone else came over to talk to you about your popularity. He looked up to you greatly and quietly listened to your music both in his free time and, often times, during class. If he was feeling rather ambitious that day, he’d casually start talking to you about your music and your group members if the solo game wasn’t the the thing for you. “Ah, yeah, you know your friend, (group member name i literally can’t think of a name on the spot)?” He’d ask while trying his hardest not to freak out over the fact that he was talking to a celebrity, his idol, to be much more specific. “Yeah. What, do you like them? Wanna meet them someday?” You replied jokingly. He chortled at your statement, mainly because they weren’t the one he liked, but you were.

woojin:

Super big throwback to his cover of BoA’s Only One, there would be low quality footage of Woojin dancing to your song jokingly. Once that circulated around, he’d be an embarrassed mess thinking about how you could’ve been watching the video at that moment. Spoiler alert: you were, and you thought it was absolutely adorable. You even reposted it with the caption “thank you, my fans, for such great content” or some shit and Woojin would be bawling his eyes out like, “I’ve won, but at what cost?” (uh jokes aside,,,) He would upload a proper dance cover and blow literally everyone away, including you. His smooth dancing and his ability to hit every move with precision made you question yourself on your dancing skills. (ok but i’m sure you’d be a great dancer <33) When you reposted that cover of his, he would bawl again, but this time, he shed some happy tears instead. 

jinyoung:

From the looks of his Kyulkyung fanboy days, Jinyoung seems like someone who’d defend their idols to a certain extent. If he encounters a troll among your Instagram feed, he’d definitely call them out with a bit of insult, and it’d be brought to your attention. He probably also runs a fan account where he posts photos of you and captions them with cheesy love quotes; not to the point where it’s Seongwoo or Jaehwan-level shit posting, but a regular fanpage that posts fan taken photos as well as performances on music shows and, sometimes, fancams. He’d be thrilled to hear that you and/or your group were coming to his town, but once someone brought it up, he’d act all shy and deny any notions of wanting to meet you. However, on his breaks, he’d go and see you in person, his heart beating quickly when he saw you - all while being the shy boy he was. 

also, you’d probably be like, “aw, your head is so smoL I’M CRYIN” and he’d fall over tbh

daehwi:

Daehwi would be the type of fan who would have a fanpage for you, much like his best friend Jinyoung. He’d be the main source of all the girlfriend/boyfriend!(y/n) aus because he honestly thinks that those are the absolute cutest, and he’d make them just as fluffy as possible while trying his best to be accurate at the same time. If you were in a group, he would make compilations of basically anything you were known for, whether it be your evil maknae schemes or your lovely singing parts. If he ever went to a fan sign, he’d be a smiling the mess the whole time once it was his turn to meet you. “Ah, I was so excited to meet you,” he would tell you, his natural overflowing aegyo making you feel all bubbly inside as you have a nice casual conversation with him. You probably ended your meeting with a hug from him as you told him, “come to our next fanmeet,” and he probably melted into a pile of gush inside. 

guanlin:

Guanlin would be the quiet yet ambitious fan of yours. Much like Minhyun, he wouldn’t shove his love for you in everyone’s faces, but he’d be much more obvious with those close to him. “(y/n)’s really soft in this performance? Jihoon hyung, look at how wonderful (y/n)’s rapping is. Seonho, look, (y/n)’s just as cute as you are.” Every once in a while, he’d go and binge watch your funny videos, giving himself a huge laugh (which may or may not scare his hyungs). Just like any other of his idols, Guanlin looks up to you greatly. You inspired him to do better at his own talents, and if you were to ever find out about this, you’d be amazed on how fast his improvement rate was. Needless to say, he had a little celebrity crush on you for a lot of reasons, from your lovely personality to your fans to your charismatic presence on stage. 

peep euiwoong - i mean

hit my inbox up y’all!! and here is my masterlist!! + sorry if this was a bit shitty lol

[callous-goat]

all of the asks pretty pls

1.Kissed a girl?

Yup2.Kissed a boy?

unfortunately yup3.Had sex in public?

nope4.What’s your religion?

I kinda go with the flow5.What does your URL mean?

had an ex that used to call me her lil birb and then called me her seagull cuz seagulls are cool and I like suits so I photoshopped a suit onto a seagull and I was making a tumblr and I was like “This thing looks professional” and thus, theprofessionalseagull was born.6.Reason you joined tumblr?

liked seeing the funny stuff in screenshots then decided to join in on the fun7.Do you have any nicknames?

em, and thats about it. I like being called Myles tho instead of my birth name if that counts.8.Do you like bubble bath?

baths make me feel gross because im already dirty and then i gotta soak in the dirt so no i hate baths9.Kissed in the rain?

nope10.Dyed your hair?

wanted to, but no11.Soup or salad?

salad, I haven’t found a soup i’ve liked yet12.Vegetable or meat?

meat for sure (especially chicken)13.Go out drinking?

too young to do that14.Smoke cigarettes?

hate the smell so no15.Smoke weed?

my mom would kill me so no16.Do any hard drugs?

see previous answer17.Have you had sex today?

never had sex ever so no18.Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

I think like once, but it was a friend not even like someone i was dating19.The relationship between you and the person you last texted?

friends20.Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

not that i can remember cuz mine are like dark ass brown and they looked black when i was younger21.Skipped doing homework to play a video game?

you mean like im about to do rn? yes.22.Tried to commit suicide?

almost, but chickened out before i actually did it23.The last time you felt broken?

hahaha every day24.Had to lie to EVERYONE about how you felt?

not everyone, just a lot of people25.Do you have a Boyfriend/Girlfriend?

single and ready to mingle 26.Do you have Long hair OR short hair?

short27.First thing you notice to a guy/girl?

surprisingly their hair is the first thing i usually notice, like i especially like and notice short and dyed girls hair its my aesthetic28.Do you sing in the shower?

only if im in a good mood29.Do you dance in the car?

not anymore30.Where were you yesterday?

work31.Ever used a bow and arrow?

nope but i’ve always wanted to32.Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

when i was like 533.Do you think musicals are cheesy?

no, but to be fair the only one ive seen is les mis so34.Is Christmas stressful?

some years more than others35.Favorite type of fruit pie?

don’t really like pie in general, but my favorite fruit is apple36.Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

i wanted to be an artist when i was little, then i saw other people’s art and was like “whelp better find something else”37.Do you believe in ghosts?

yup.38.Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

every other day is a deja-vu feeling39.Take a vitamin daily?

i try to, but i always end up forgetting40.Wear slippers?

nah, never really got into it41.Wear a bath robe?

nope42.What do you wear to bed?

pjs and a shirt43.Do you want to get married?

yup, someday44.Can you curl your tongue?

what kinda curl? i can do the taco thing with it but that’s about it

Relationship preference: 45.How many relationships have you had?

4 i think46.How can I win your heart?

be sweet and comforting and allow me to be clingy af to you. and don’t leave for like awhile without telling me why cuz i get worried.47.what makes a great relationship?

communication and honesty. never lie to me or i get salty af.48.Shy OR open?

if its asking about my preference then i don’t care either way50.Religious OR non-religious?

not religious to a point where they follow the words to a t but i don’t mind religion in general51.Caring OR non-restricting of you?

non-restricting but caring enough to not be possessive kinda thing52.Straight edge OR non-straight edge?

i dunno what that means tbh. 53.Piercings OR no piercings?

i don’t mind piercings as long as it’s not tongue piercings cuz those creep me out54.Tattoos OR no tattoos?

either way is fine, as long as it’s not like nazi trash tattoos all over ya55.Quiet stay-at-home type OR party type?

stay at home cuz otherwise id be alone af cuz i hate parties ( i have social anxiety so i can’t really go to parties)