#it would be disrespectful for me to call myself that when other ppl are. it’s like saying u have acne when u have one pimple yk

[palms-upturned]

Call me Meg, any pronouns.

I’m a white usamerican and do not speak Arabic, I do not verify fundraisers. A lot of folks in Gaza have reached out to me recently asking to share their campaigns, and so I’m trying my best to honor their requests and confirm the ones that have been vetted. My following isn’t exactly huge, but the friends I’ve made here have been extremely kind and generous in helping me when I’ve been in dire financial straits and I hope that they will extend the same generosity to the people of Gaza 💙

I’ve been talking daily with @lailashaqoura for a while and so it would especially mean a lot to me if my followers would follow her account and donate to/share her campaign:

If you’re a liberal who wants to send me an ask or respond to my posts about voting blue or Zionism or something to “debate” me, I’m not going to bother responding unless you attach a receipt for a donation to Laila’s campaign or I’m blocking you immediately. Add an image description to your receipt also. I’m not kidding.

Other fundraisers

Here’s a running list of verified users in Gaza who have reached out to me on my side blog, @vetted-gaza-funds!

Other tags on this blog where you can find fundraisers:

My general Palestine tag

My “asks” tag (this is where you’ll find the fundraisers of people who have reached out to me personally, I always try to link to verification from trusted users so that people won’t feel hesitant to reblog)

My donation match tag (this is where I post who I’m donating to every payday and encourage ppl to match my donations)

Palestinian users who are verifying campaigns (that I’m aware of):

el-shab-hussein

nabulsi

90-ghost

Other Palestinian users whose judgment I trust (but afaik they’re not personally verifying campaigns so do not ask them to do so):

fairuzfan

ibtisams

fallahifag

palipunk

Note: please interact respectfully with these users. They are doing these verifications and communicating with literally hundreds if not thousands of people in Gaza on a volunteer basis, in spite of literally deadly levels of stress. If you come from my blog and are even slightly disrespectful to anyone on this list I will hit you with a car.

Master lists of other vetted campaigns:

el-shab-hussein’s master list of master lists

fallahifag’s daily donation lists

google spreadsheet created by nabulsi/el-shab-hussein

Other sites where you can find verified funds:

gazafunds.com

Operation Olive Branch

Strawberry Seed Collective

Other:

A list of users who have reached out to me but who I could not find verification for. If anyone has any kind of link to a verification of these users please let me know so I can add them to my list!

If you want to send a campaign my way to add to my list on behalf of someone else, some things that would be helpful to me:

Please keep in mind that I cannot share fundraisers that have not been verified in some way. I am not Palestinian nor an Arabic speaker and have no way of verifying for myself what is or isn’t legitimate. If you send me an unvetted fundraiser, I will do my best to search regularly to see if anyone has vetted it in the future and share later if so, but that’s the best I can do.

If it has been verified but is not included in this spreadsheet, a link to the verification would be massively helpful.

If it’s a campaign that is on the Operation Olive Branch spreadsheet, please let me know where on the spreadsheet I can find it

If it’s from gazafunds.com, please show me a screenshot and/or a link where I can see the campaign featured on the website

[olderthannetfic]

There are some ppl who're really bitchy about having their name pronounced exactly the way it would be done in their language, even with people who have absolutely no linguistic connections with that language. Like people forget that not all languages are made from the same sounds and mouth and/or throat movements.

(Using one of my own names as an example.) Ppl doing dumb shit like "oh your name is Maria? Well that's tooooooo hard, how about I call you Marrrrryyyyyy teeeeheeee" is obvs absolute dumb shit people being dumb as shit. That's not even the correct name.

But I've also seen people just bitch about that their name was pronounced "Mah-ria" instead of Ma-ri-a" by someone who did try to get the name right, and then trying to make it a racism issue.

Most reasonable people probably won't give a shit if their name is pronounced "Mah-ria" instead of "Ma-ri-a" But some people will definitely blow a gasket even when their name gets pronounced as close as possible still, like"Ma-ri-ah".

Though I also had people who basically called me "May/Maya/Maia" and didn't seem to care much that that's not close to the pronunciation, and I doubt they did it because they wanted to be dumb shits, they just can't do the middle sound. So in the end I really don't care, since I know they're not doing it to be assholes and they still get what my name is.

The art is to distinguish between "dumb shit" and "says it wrong but doesn't do it to be a dumb shit"

--

Yeah. There are always going to be a few people who just are unreasonably oversensitive about the existence of accents. I encounter them far less frequently than the ones who are frustrated by years of disrespect, but they're out there.

People constantly say my name differently from how I pronounce it since Mom tried to give me a German name nobody here has, then misspelled it, and I don't pronounce it in an authentically German way anybody could predict. However, I'm in the majority. When people mispronounce it (relative to my own pronunciation), it's purely because my name is actually weird and not because they're trying to get away with things or think minorities are wacky. I don't give a shit about that. But if they try to re-shorten my already shortened nickname to "Fran" or they try to call me "Frances" or some other name in the same family, then they are just being a pain. You know that's not what I'm calling myself. You have ears.

A fair amount of the time, you can tell when someone listened and is trying and when they haven't and are not.

[devotedbutterfly]

bruh like i saw people online being like “i dislike huayin” and proceeding to like fenglian. and im sitting here like “okkkk and your arguments to hating huayin also apply to fenglian” it’s stupid honestly

ppl really wake up and think “wow polyamory doesn’t exist and i NEED TO HATE ON THIS HARMLESS SHIP and be a hypocrite” like ?????? i myself don’t really care abt huayin(as in it doesn’t give me. dopamine particles but i like qijiu and liujiu. if that counts???) but like do you really feel the need to be an asshole for no fucking reason? literally only posting here online since if i talked about this in the discord server people would probably want my head on a spike

it’s stupid that i have to fear backlash and hatred for TALKING about a ship with two FICTIONAL. FICTIONAL. THEYRE WORDS ON A PAGE. MADE UP characters.

this cool thing called polyamory exists! like im sitting here like. he can love yin yu. AND love xie lian. “huayin wouldn’t make sense cuz he waited 800 years for xie lian” well MAYBE he can also live yin yu AND xie lian??? shocker

sighhhh these people would have qi deviations if they entered the svsss fandom. wish they could do maybe they’d realize that “wow! maybe talking about your dislike and hatred of a harmless ship and demonizing the people who ship that is bad! and immoral! and very assholey and rude!” but alas.

tldr don’t be assholes when you see any ship that has a character that is canonically in a relationship polyamory exists and don’t fight over not liking a (normal, legal)ship over fictional characters

very very real - I’ve thought the same things lol - it doesn’t make sense how ppl r very okay w ships in one fandom of mxtx’s novels but suddenly it’s disrespectful in the others…? Like you don’t see this much hate for other ships w bingqiu as much as you do for hualian (idk anything abt mdzs or the fandom so idk what shipping is like over there but from what I heard from mutuals I assume it’s not that great either lol) thankfully nowadays I’m seeing more tolerance towards shipping Xie Lian w other characters but even then SOME ( NOT all ) of them still turn around and spew hate to other ships w Hua Cheng…? Which..doesn’t make sense…?

Idk the thing that bothers me the most is getting a lotta comments w ppl who have a very big prejudice against polyamory ppl ..I assumed a danmei fandom ,, yknow since it’s a queer book series - the fans would be open minded and stuffff UHHHH but I guess not HSHS - like yesterday I got another comment saying that I was making them hate polyamorous ppl 💀 like ,,, maybe u were never that much of an ally to begin w if all it takes to hate a whole group of ppl is Huayin art .. ? idk man 💀 but uh yah hypocrisy and polyphobia in the mxtx fandoms is very uh.. interesting and fun to deal w first hand 👍👍👍 YAYYY (get me out of here HAHA)

[thegirlinvelvet]

Never thought someone would call me "homophobic" over fucking pixels again but here we are looool.

Mind you this person harassed a 15 yo girl over settphel (yes). They made a whole ass post on r/apheliosmains accusing her of 'homophobia' because she made a humorous tiktok about her least favourite LOL ships, SettPhel was one of them but she clarified in the comments the reasons behind it, basically saying that it was due to the fact that some ppl tend to mischaracterize Phel and often associate him with Sett. Clear explanation, right? Well, that person still refused to let go of the accusations, which led the poor girl to privatize her fucking account. They’ve been called out by multiple ppl, myself included but still didn’t seem to give a shit.

I stumbled across their comments multiple times, one time they accused yet another girl with fairly fragile mental health of homophobia because she said she didn't really like the idea of shipping Aphelios with anyone, that he was her comfort character, and made her feel better; happy.

"jUsT saY yoU’re HoMoPhobIc anD Move On" was their answer. They keep on throwing these words under harmless posts but when I called them out and on their BS I’m wrong and homophobic????

Oh and they also criticize other people’s ships and hcs, I remember someone posting a super well-made painting of Sb Phel x Sb Thresh, and you know what they commented? "SettPhel is much better." Okay? If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Like, how can you possibly be this disrespectful? Why do you feel the need to bring up SettPhel? Are you that insecure? Over fucking pixels?

Simply INSANE. It’s like people aren’t allowed to have different tastes anymore. "No you can’t ship SettRaka, it’s gross-" "NamiPhel is weird" "You can’t ship SettEz, Sett is already-" stfu and let people live. These characters are NOT REAL, they do NOT BELONG TO YOU, stop harassing innocent ppl and let them be creative. You’re fighting the wrong fucking battle.

[dnpbeats]

the merch person speculating about them at all is crazy no less to a fan blog what?! also when you want uhhhh please tell us more about the anti phan blog bc it sounds like a nightmare and also something of another time, we need your oral history

I KNOW RIGHT 😭😭 also ok stuff abt the anti blog under the cut in case ppl don’t wanna see drama from 2016! (which is so fair)

lmao so if you wanna read the post I made when i left the blog you can see that here. i still agree with what i said about how i didn’t like how the blog was run/how it treated shippers and stuff so i rly have nothing more to say on that

but one thing i didn’t realize at the time that i do now is that it was BATSHIT that I was the one saying the blog was disrespectful when I was 14 years old and everyone else running the blog was an adult (19+). but more so, why were grown adults friends with me a minor?? this wasn’t like ‘oh we’re tumblr mutuals’ i mean like we were talking in group chats and DMs. the main other person who ran the blog was my best friend at the time, she called me her best friend, we would make jokes about being married and shit. she had my phone number, knew my last name, knew where I lived. just stuff an adult has no business doing with a 13yo on the internet. and basically (like I kinda said in the post) anytime I tried to express an opinion that wasn’t “phan shippers are awful people” i was told that I was wrong/they did deserve it. And as a 13/14yo being told that by adults i went along with it and honestly it’s a miracle that I had the awareness to say it wasn’t right and to remove myself from that situation. (also on top of that i thought ppl shouldn’t be digging into their personal lives bc i thought they were together, whereas for the rest of them didn’t like shipping bc they thought d&p were straight 😭😭😭 but I kept that opinion under lock and key bc i knew they’d all go after me 😭)

that’s the gist of it but there’s also other stuff like us and some other ppl (almost all adults!! which again wth!) had a group chat and they all talked mad shit about me even though I was IN the chat. like there was a person who lived in the same city as me who said that if she ever saw me irl she’d punch me, not as a joke she was 100% serious 😭😭 and my so called best friend did nothing to stop it even though she was the admin of the chat 😭 and then yeah like I said in the post I linked I got kicked off the blog twice, once for saying I didn’t like dapgo and the second time for (you guessed it!) calling them out for cyber bullying a minor (not me someone else lol)

so yeah 💀 that’s why i took an almost 7 year break from the phandom 💘

[emleeeeeeeeee]

chaps 500-501 sorry im late guys

okay so first thing even though it might be obvious i feel like vin and taejin have had such a parallel life if that makes sense? like obviously taejin was bought up with everything and anything that he wanted (and taught that everything was his) and we did see at the start that he was decently kind(?) to vin as a child, but only bc he viewed vin as his property. we do see this like attitude start changing as he grows up tho, where he doesnt see the need to treat his 'property' aka other ppl well anymore (rip sujin) and really just takes what he wants from them. he also really just wants everything to be his at this point, as seen when he's like excited at his father's death bc it means that he has more power. so vin has obviously had like a very traumatic childhood, but somehow vin and taejins lives still seem very in parallel

especially in that scene bc its like showing their attachment(idk how else to describe it) to cheonliang, but for starkly different reasons. wait more like how they're both fighting for cheonliang, but while vin(and the other ppl sry idk what theyre called) are fighting purely for the memory of sujin and seongji(rip), taejin is fighting so that he can claim it as his AS SEEN WHEN THE LITTLE BITCH SHOWS UP WHEN THEYRE DECIDING THE LEADER.

OMG THE DISRESPECT I CANT. I WANT TO PUT HIM INTO A FUCKING MEAT GRINDER. (writing this i have to keep reminding myself that the way he acts is a result of his upbringing BUT STILL DOES NOT JUSTIFY HIS ACTIONS RIUGSDFHJKNXMCSDFJKX)

YES VIN I SUPPORT YOU PULL THAT BITCH APART

okay ive literally never hated goo more than in this moment. like yes i knew he was a fucking psychopath that didnt care abt anyone other than himself but ykkkkkkk i was hoping it wouldnt apply to characters that i cared abt??(this is how im going to get into a toxic relationship and end up on a true crime podcast)

behold the queen herself mary kim. also possibly the best female character ptj has written imo (maybe zoe as well)

OMG THE TANGHULU BOUQUET ISTG ONE OF THESE DAYS I WILL MAKE TANGHULU THEN MAKE A BOUQUET AND GIVE SEONGJI A FUNERAL (help i think im getting too obsessed i have work to do and im here doing this)

OUR FRESHLY GLOWED UP MC IS BACKKKK. i honestly cant tell if its his new or old body at this point someone pls tell me its not just me

thats a bit interesting. i still think that goo is going to be the one to die (but im not as attached to him anymore cuz otherwise taejin would be dead IF NOT FOR HIM) but gun definitely looks kinda depressed in this frame after the whole yk chaps 479-480 soooo idk whats gonna happen. even tho chap 502 is out im just gonna finish my work first and get back to you guys. but cheonliang arc finally ended!!!! and now we hopefully get to see jake kims brother who is like fiiinnneeeee (and a cannibal but whatever im colourblind i dont see red flags)lmao i love how this post just started with like an essay opening and dissolved into shitposting. anyways love you guys prob gonna post again sooooonnnn <33333

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

this girl one time wanted to have sex with me and when i asked to use a condom she laughed it off and said it wasnt cool, and began to chip away at my boundary until i gave her what she wanted. she kept trying to get me to do things and i would say no, and she would continue asking anyway. in bed she said something like “you said you would” and that legitimately scared me, because it seemed like she was just blatantly lying to my face, or just forgot. then she called herself a succubus (A DEMON) and my gut screamed at me to be careful around her. sorry this may be TMI, but im anon so whatever, she said i could nut in her, which is the complete opposite of my original boundary. she was so sweet otherwise and communicated really good. except for when i texted her my concerns about being manipulated. she just became really defensive. im really happy im not “under her spell” anymore. i dont know what she was trying to do, but she could have hurt me really bad

its not tmi, its ok, you know me :p <3.. im sorry your boundaries were disrespected :( ill put my answer under read more cus its probly gona be long , this message had me contemplating some things..

IMO : sex is so tricky its been a struggle my whole life to understand how i feel about it & where my boundaries lie + allowing myself to express them so i understand the struggle u present here altho it's a different perspective.. some people use sex as a vehicle to gain power over others, by way of luring their partner into a state of vulnerability, i dont think that's something demonic necessarily i think it's usually more surface level than that. however

you do see a huge rise in the amount of ppl kind of, trying to personify the succubus nowadays? ppl have always wanted to be sexy but it's like different than the way ppl wanted to be sexy when i was younger. it got rly mainstream to have kind of a demon aesthetic if that makes sense? when i was younger this stuff was reserved for the relentlessly bullied & punished Goth and Emo kids.

but ok when i worked at spencers gifts in 2021/22 they had all these shirts of anime succubus girls getting choked and in bondage n shit, and these shirts were their best sellers they were outselling most the band tees and franchises like naruto.. and im telling youuu it was like, the youngest girls always buying these shirts, it made me so uncomfortable!! sometimes i would walk away and get my coworker to ring them up cus i was like nah im not selling a child that shit...but it really made me think like wow if i was in 7th grade and wore this shit to school it wou;dve been like wearing a giant KICK MY ASS!!!! target on my back but it's like, a popular thing rn.

and im not saying the bullying should return ofc, not the point. but it lead me down the string of thought wondering why this stuff is being pushed into the mainstream so heavily. sex sells i guess $$$ but yeah i think right now it's especially common to refer to yourself as a succubus if you're trying to feel a sense of power as a woman. because as a woman there are very few ways to gain power other than using sex. and many people want power! but i dont think most of them are demonic. just lost..

still its good u followed ur instinct to stay away from that girl because it is really cruel to manipulate someone in a moment where they've trusted you enough to be close to them like that.

yeah i think its rly rare for someone to be in some true demonic possession shit but i feel there can be dark things that linger *around* people who have weak spiritual armor and sort of, feast off their energy & create misfortunes around the person that generate bad energy for it to feed off of. but i dont think they have too much control over your actions like i would imagine for someone who's truly possessed. i feel a lot of ppl have these sort of ambient malignant attachments especially if they keep a lot of dark imagery & symbols around thinking it's just an aesthetic.

thas just my thoughts....really bored tonite so im typing a lot.... i love sex i think it can be so beautiful and restoring, it helps me feel so much happier in life to have good sex regularly i dont think sex or sexiness is evil. i just think its easy for ppl w bad intentions to turn it into this whole twisted ass mind game when it shld rly b so simple and natural and a loving connection that sets u free......be safe out there anon be discerning! protect you heart..<3

[genderstarbucks]

i have a request

xenogender for ppl who r pro stoning mspec lesbian/gays or ppl who believe male lesbians exist, also dawg half of the stuff in ur intro isnt real and just made up so you can feel special just put "I am gay/queer and trans" nobody needs to know that you are an otter attracted to twinks and bears 500+ fetishes n shit , gay ppl didnt die just so you can sit around and say "guyyyyssss ughhh lesbians can be attracted to men!! they can they can!!!" and trans ppl didnt die just so you can say "guys dont see me as a girl pls it makes me sooo uncomfy but im a female ftm woman trans man pussy vagina cunt man BUT DONT CALL ME A WOMAN GIRL PLS PLS DONT USE SHE HER ON ME!!!!!!!! IM JUST A SHEHERWOMAN BOY!!!"

Usually I ignore hate like this but this is so fucking funny to me

Nowhere in my bio does it say I'm a woman you dumbass LMFAO, it says I'm female, which is different than a woman

Saying I'm just gay and trans does not explain the entirety of my experience, I can use whatever fucking labels I want to describe myself whether you like it or not you wet sock

"That's not real it's made up", yeah all words are you fucking idiot

The fact that you would stone people based on an identity that literally doesn't affect your tiny brain at all says a lot about you

YOU'RE the one who's disrespecting the trans people who have died to transphobia by caring so much about the fact that this is how I experience my transness

I think they'd be proud of the fact that me and so many others are reclaiming slurs that have been used against us

Have you ever even heard of cistrans people? Probably not considering your brain implodes at the thought of male lesbians

Also where the fuck are the "fetishes" in my bio you're speaking of? Those are just my dating preferences fuckface, what? Are you mad that you don't fit those preferences? You're just mad you can't be with me because I'm so great

You are actually so fucking stupid it's funny, you think I actually care about your opinion?

Mspec gays, lesbians and straights will and have always existed, no matter what your tiny brain thinks

Lesboys and turigirls still exist too you idiot

Oh boo hoo a butch lesbian is calling themselves a lesboy, and you're getting offended over that? That's really fucking pathetic

Gay and trans people died for my and other weird queer people's rights, and the rights for us to identify however we want

R you rlly gonna support xenogenders but not other niche queer identities? Stupid ass

Nobody ever said all lesbians like men or that lesbians have to like men, lesbians only like men if they're attracted to men while also calling themselves a lesbian you dumbass

Irl literally nobody cares if you identify as an mspec gay or lesboy, it's people like you who keep pulling this stupid discourse back up WHEN LITERALLY NOBODY CARES

It's not affecting you assfuck

I'm pro stoning people who are like you, specifically with big boulders

[demonsfate]

man, i love both jinxiao and jinhwoa and i've been in fandoms too long to engage in drama nowadays, but tbh it's amazing how people read/watch things with their ass because how do you say that it was Jin and not Dj (literally the demon inside him) the one who beat Hwoarang??? also some fans are very weird and annoying about the kazjun ship too like you said, idk like sometimes people have the worse takes ever and you just.. have to sigh and move on🚶‍♂️

i love them both! i believe i pointed out before that both are solid ships because both have wonderful dynamics with each other that fits well. i'd be happy if either one became canon, and either one would make sense. i try not to engage in drama, but gosh darn twitter is a hell site that just SHOWS you posts frm ppl you don't follow. so it's easier to get into arguments. i already had an argument with that person before. and i ALMOST got into another one bc i WANTED to tell them to "grow up" and point out that, yeah, DJ is the one that did that to hwoarang. not jin. ALSO LIKE. CANONICALLY. hwoarang DOES not even VIEW jin and dj as the same person!

so this definitely means hwoarang doesn't even blame jin for what DJ did to him in tk5, because he doesn't consider them to be the same. i wish the rest of the fanbase can think like hwoarang does!

yeah - they were also kazjun fans. which the op, as i said, made a post something along the lines of jun telling paul his consumption of hamburgers is unhealthy, then paul replying "you know what else is unhealthy? that relationship you have with kaz." and then a few annoying shippers freaked out about it and called it "pathetic," and "disrespectful to the characters" and all kinds of stuff. like i love the kazjun ship, i love the OVA because it explores what it could be. but holy shiiiit those fans need to stop being annoying about it.

LIKE they tried to say, "you can't deny the strong bond kaz and jun had!" and it's like WHAT STRONG BOND???? I'M SORRY. BUT CANONICALLY - KAZ HAD NEVER EVEN BEEN SEEN WITH JUN ON SCREEN, AND THE ONLY THING HE EVER SAID ABOUT HER, IIRC, WAS IN TK6 WHEN HE SIMPLY CALLED HER "MYSTERIOUS." jun had never spoke about him, either! HELL, in TAG 2 - WHERE WE COULD'VE HAD MORE DEVELOPMENT AMONGST THEM - kaz's ending didn't involve jun (not rly - it involved unknown, but NOT in a romantic way) and jun's ending didn't involve kaz. the only time we saw them on screen together IN A GAME, was in tag 1. devil's ending. again. i love the ship. but to act like it's some GREAT LOVE STORY ABOUT TWO PEOPLE WHO PASSIONATELY LOVED EACH OTHER TO THE VERY END AND ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE IS WRONG that's just... incorrect. we BARELY know their relationship. for all we know, it was just a one night stand! or they never had love for each other, but "fate" pulled them together to make jin. like. WE DON'T KNOW YET BECAUSE THEY WON'T TELL US. and the OVA can't be used as proof, because then you can use the 2010 movie as proof that jun didn't love kaz, but instead loved fucking steve.

you're right! i need to stop using twitter. i keep telling myself i'll stop! but yet - i always go to it when i'm bored and then sometimes i see ppl. it just annoys me that they have to be HATEFUL toward other people. ship what you want (as long as it's not fucking weird as i said - not talking proshipper stuff) but don't harass ppl for their ships.

[sweatyrickgrimes]

I’m sorry that is so dumb to me 😭 people will just slap the word fetishization (or other buzzwords like gaslighting) onto shit they don’t like and call it a day. like not to take away from cases where people are actually fetishizing gay people, but like it’s just a silly post about Rick dating both Negan and Michonne… where is the fetishization. half the people I see making posts about them (myself included) are lesbians so like how does that one work? also not getting where it’s disrespectful to Michonne. like they’re not real people they’re characters…. is the implication that Rick would be dating someone else the disrespectful part bc the implication is that it’s a settled arrangement and also it’s like… in a joking manner… like it’s meant to be kind of funny… idk why people don’t just block tags they dislike and move on like I get not everyone likes people to be shipped w negan bc like murder but it’s a story like it’s fictional. let’s calm tf down. sorry ppl are dumb I like your posts

its fine lmao, i don’t think its “weird ass gay fetishization” when i am literally gay but what do i know. personally i love regan and richonne so i thought it’d be fun to joke about rick dating both of them but whatever hfhdg im just not going to tag her in posts like that so people don’t get pissed. thanks anon <3

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

I could name a couple of John stans with this mentality against Bri and Rog and honestly I hate it. (Thankfully it's just a small number of ppl) But I also hate those who put John on a taller pedestal "because he's done the right thing, he truly respected freddie unlike the others!" (Which seems a common POV not much in John's corner of the fandom but more from generic Queen fans)

It's so awful and disrespectful, the three of them tried to handle their grief in their own way and Freddie's death was the turning point of their lives... John decided to do what felt right for him, he wasn't happy with the rockstar life, but he retired in a way that hurt the others. And the others probably pushed him too hard and didn't understand his reasons to leave. They were all hurt by the rift and pointing the finger at specifically any of them is wrong.

Also, we can only speculate about what happened because obviously we don't have the full picture. Who knows, there's also the possibility they actually do have sporadic contacts with John but prefer to keep it a secret to respect his will to be left out of public business. We know they lied profusely to protect Freddie's privacy.

I remember making a long post years ago about how Queen fans in general use John’s silence and absence to their advantage to project their grievances onto him; because they think it’s disrespectful for Brian and Roger to keep playing as Queen, they think John must have retired out of this false sense of respect towards Freddie they made up in their heads, and John isn’t around to refute that. He’s their perfect blank slate who, in their heads, just so happens to share their exact opinions on Brian and Roger. It’s pathetic lol. It reminds me of when I saw a post in the movie era calling Brian and Roger homophobic and saying John wasn’t involved with the movie in any way because he disapproved of it so much. That was just top tier copium.

I know they lied about Freddie’s illness, but I honestly don’t think they’re doing so with John because the pain seems pretty raw (“I constantly ask myself what I could have done differently”/“John is a sociopath”) and Brian and Roger have been in the public eye for a long time, so I don’t think they would have any problem saying they had some contact with John while shutting down any further questions about that. It’s not like saying they still have some contact with him would be a big scandal like Freddie’s illness was. We don’t have the full picture, sure, but what we do have more suggests total ghosting than not.

[dearhaunt]

Maybe a strange question, but I was wondering why you use they/them pronouns. I’m always interested in ppls reasons/feelings about their pronouns; I know I have specific reasons for the ones I use. Hope you are having lovely day :3

i’m not sure if this is going to make sense because i have trouble articulating my internal workings sometimes … but i will try. & forgive me in advance because this will probably get sooo long LOL i love to over explain myself!

to be frank i don’t entirely care how people refer to me so long as they respect & honor Me and my relationship with myself&personhood. i think a lot about what leslie feinberg said about the pronouns ze used — something like pronouns always being placed within a certain context (forgive me for my paraphrasing).

for me i think it is much the same! context & words used with care and love are what matter to me most.

generally i use & claim they/them because it feels Logical to me. i often times feel a bit more like a slowly-forming thing than a fully realized being… so neutrality makes sense. i’m just a person… or i’m learning to be one. i’ve just got my legs! im not sure about the she or he thing! i’m still Becoming. a lot of traditional notions of gender feel very choosy & specific in a way that feels illogical to me. so ‘they’ makes sense for me i think. i’m maybe a little vague. to-be-determined. i’m getting my wings in real soon. you know

i don’t see myself as being gendered (in the traditional sense) because i don’t feel a personal connection to cis-hetero-euro-whatever gender and its dealings. just … as a whole.

at the same time, i am a Daughter. and a Sister. someday id really like to be a wife. i think in social dealings there is something woman-tinged about me always. perhaps because of my family & cultural practices (which i suppose are heavily gendered … hooray latino familial dynamics❤️‍🩹). so when my parents or my siblings call me She it really doesn’t bother me all that much. to them i can be She because in this context She = sister, daughter, loved one.

in lesbian context i Also feel a deep connection to womanhood. it’s probably one of the only ways i’d feel 100% comfortable being viewed as a woman. on a butch’s arm, sitting & talking with my majority-lesbian friends … it’s an unimaginable joy and comfort. i can be a girl then, i guess. i still feel more-so that i am a (high) Femme rather than a woman. but i Would like to be another dyke’s woman. i don’t know. maybe this part gets a little nonsensical. but, you know — in a room of women im a dyke & in a room of dykes i get to be a woman … something like that. & when i’m with other dykes esp. those who are butch/femme, trans, or have complex relationships with gender … i don’t mind what they call me. girl, boy, woman, thing, she, he, they … i’m a Femme and a dyke and when i feel respected and recognized as a Femme everything else sort of blurs and melts! it’s all love. and i quite like that

another important thing for me is feminism & politics. politically i am aligned with women & those marginalized under patriarchy Always. my class is woman, if that makes sense … because of the various experiences i’ve had and the oppression i have and continue to face due to misogyny and such. so i suppose politically i am She as well in that i am forever bonded with / tied to every woman and person of marginalized gender as we all suffer under a patriarchal system.

another thing that’s been attributed to leslie feinberg (by hir wife, Minnie Bruce Pratt) that i quite like was when ze said something like … i care about my pronouns but people have been respectful to me while using the wrong ones & disrespectful while using the right ones. again, Context!!! very important for me. sometimes in class when we have to give our pronouns i say ‘they is fine, but also anything is fine if you’re kind to me.’ and it’s definitely a little tongue in cheek but also … it’s true!

sorry for all this rambling. TLDR: they/them feels right & logical so that’s generally the pronouns i use or tell people to use. they feel sensible for me. but ultimately i think because gender is this heavily constructed and highly social phenomenon (which might evolve and adapt and twist etc etc) that respect & context is what matters more to me.

so i don’t totally-entirely-absolutely care. except i do i guess. because i wrote all of this. Well. i guess i don’t care what you say or how you call me as long as its sweet & from your heart!

[unknwnxquantity]

My mom loves this song too. I listen to songs sometimes in honor of my parents, whether they’d appreciate it or not. Sometimes I’ll tell them I’m listening to it in that given moment.

I told my mom today (this is a draft from like more than a month ago…. So I told my mom this over a month ago) I was listening to endless love and how I remember it’s her fav song and she’s like “yes!! And debarge a dream!!” Which is another song that reminds me of her when I was growing up, that we share together bc of how much the song reminds me of her.

When I worked at my job in the city, we’d be able to make music playlists and would have your playlist played maybe a few times a week for a couple hours. I put “A Dream” on one of mine. In honor of my mom. I did that with other songs too (that would fit the vibe of the store), that reminds me of my parents, siblings, gf, old friends, etc. to honor them and think of them at my job when the song came on. And hopefully it would impact customers and my coworkers positively. Put them onto the song, or give them a hit of nostalgia and memories, their own associations to those same songs I have my own associations with. Anyways… I remember my one coworker ima call her P bro she used to piss me off so bad. She’s like “what you know about debarge???” And I’m like “I have parents.” Omg and guess what like a week after, she put a debarge song on ONE OF HER PLAYLISTS (the song is I like it) AND EVERYONE WAS LIKE OOO OKAY P GOT TASTEEE. She used to challenge me and tried to step on my toes bc I was quiet and had high anxiety at first. Pushover vibes. I learned partly bc of her how to stand up for myself especially in work environments. Our interactions would act as mini pushes for me to step into my own energy. The desensitization of putting assertive words and phrases to life and or acting them, so I can then stand my ground to the rest of the world.. Libra sun cap moon like my mom, but Leo rising. I usually always have some sort of ego beef w a Leo rising or moon, like no I am the Leo SUN… yall need to calm down (even tho one could argue a Leo moon is more Leo than a Leo sun but that’s not the point).

My gf thought she liked me lowkey😭 I was like no p is for the guys real bad (she did like her feminine guys tho lol). Shes just one of those girls that if you weren’t her type of mold or if you weren’t a guy, she’d just push and test your buttons, to see what she could get away with. Passivity. Power struggles. Freaking ego trips. i stood my ground a couple times after a few months. Then she’d leave me alone but do little jabs here and there… to see what she could get away with. Testing. I hate that shit. Now I’m ready!!! To put ppl into their place!!! I’ll give them the stank faces I practiced making or correct them with my confident tone of voice. I will be disrespectful. I wish she met me how I am now. But whatever. We ended up having a surface level friendship, but underneath it all could barely stand each other. Couldn’t even really fake the conversations even tho we tried. Actually she fucked my cousins cousin, who also happened to work at that job at the same time as us! The cousin (who I wish I was who I mentioned in one of my early posts… like in a looking-up-to kind of way) and then the cousins cousin who was exposed to nyc life in ways I wish I was…Meeting and working with celebs in nyc area all his life basically. Super exposed to streetwear and sneaker culture at its peak. And what’s funnier is all three of us have Scorpio moons (I think my cousin does, he’s a scorpio sun for sure, either Libra or Scorpio moon when I did his birth chart). And I had “beef” with the cousins cousin in our preteens, bc he got closer to my cousin and I was jealous bc they’re both boys and I was a girl and lived a state away…How funny is that. How funny is life.

[ffntroco]

*another deep sigh*,

Y’all the devil really is working. As you know or don’t know I’m just in a space in life where I’m just trying to you know lead a very straight path. Keep tunnel vision, but bitches keep fucking with me and it’s so annoying. Bro my boss got me freaking arrested simply because what? Who I am or what I look like(which can mean a variety of things). I have all the odds stacked against me. I’m black, queer, and male. I face so much disrespect simply because all of those things and these past two years taught me a lot and taught me the importance of being able to fend on your own. Why I didn’t call myself trans or anything and don’t take part in a lot of the community things in my town is simply because of the fact that I’m not welcomed. Wherever I go I’m an other. Personally I feel the whole movement of creating segregated communities came about because of segregation. Due to that everyone who felt they didn’t belong simply because they didn’t know themselves then created all these separate communities to find a place out of the fear of individualism. Being an individual someone who don’t look like, act like, and even carrying the same burdens comes with a lot. You have to be strong, confidence, aware and simply love themselves. That’s what I see when mfs are attacking me, trying to block me from being able to work or make money, calling me slurs, the sexual abuse and harassment which caused me to be exiled. All of it is simply because ppl don’t love themselves and is scared of themselves. When your face to face with someone who knows their worth and owns it guess what that energy is intimating to most. And you have to be strong enough to recognize THAT IS NOT NY FUCKING PROBLEM. Your intimidation and need to create this fictional character in your head of who I am bc most of the times it’s projections. Projections we either submit to accept or projections we send back to rebel. Truth is all in perception to be honest. That’s it. A simple reaction.

What do you see in the mirror? Do you love what you see in the mirror? And how to you express that love to yourself?

Because I see beauty after all I been through and go through I’m still here. Still able to share breath and still able to give love. A little hope. They keep trying to take my ass out, but I am here. Just like you I have life experience and life challenges and I’m here to share. You know people like me aren’t supposed to have anything. Me identifying w/ my femininity more and me loving to feel and look pretty a lot of hate is spewed my way. You’ll think that it wouldn’t because before I began my actual physical transition even with my beard I would get called a women, men would approach me calling me lady, asking me bc they was confused. Even as a kid boys would say they thought I was a girl with an Afro. I was always androgynous very comfortable with both sides of me and was aware of my ambiguity but inately I know what I was born as. lol. That’s why I say no one really cares, but if you’re beautiful people care not even physically but your aura. The outside helps lol.

Lately I’ve been needing to hold myself extra hard and accountable because the abuse my whole arrest situation was just an abuse tactic and a warning to the others if you get out of line this is what can happen to you. Racism and the ideology of slavery isn’t gone and the treatment I receive here shows me that as well even within the lgbtq community. It’s a hierarchy system only those are supposed to be in certain positions to keep those in check. It’s about what you do when you’re put in that position you can get in line or you can be an anarchist like me. I’m too much of a Gemini to follow trends and systems. My brain is way too intellectually manic for that so I’m gonna register that critically and do it in the way that makes sense to how my brain is saying do this. It’s what works for me. Back to the aspect of individuality. I’m an individual and I’m gonna be me. Trans and all. I don’t care. And I’m keeping my piece and my name because guess what that’s me. Apart of what makes me…me. A trans empress. Goddess if you will. And I carry myself as such. And I’m not stopping until my life reflects that. Stay beautiful. Fight the good fight and never stop going. Never. Through hardships as well as when the more easy times come in to play.

Comment 😈 if you read all the way through.

[halfmoondaze]

That’s so rude of them to disregard you and not take you serious when you’re calling out something that needs to be stopped or controlled. You don’t deserve that type of energy!! That person had the nerve and boldness to humiliate you in your own home?? And use the opportunity to apologize directly to you then shifts it to hating on your own religion knowing how important is it to you??? The disrespect… just wow. I’m so sorry you experienced that from them. You really don’t deserve that at all. I’m not a religious person but I would never goes as far as hating on one’s religious or spiritual beliefs. That’s too far. I’m glad you had people defending you and you sticking to your morals 💪🏼❤️

Yeah, I just realized there was a reply. For a moment I though I made a fool of myself and edit the post 🙊 but thank u for being validating. It means a lot seriously after I really appreciate it. And thank u. But yea, I feel almost embarrassed to admit that this friendship had been going on and off for four years, but at the time I didn’t have any other friends and felt lonely. And I guess it made sense why it was so hard for me to move on from the friendship. And it also didn’t help that I experienced a series of traumatic experiences during those times also, which said friend would make me feel bad about and make it all about themselves only to apologize and then do it over again. Idk. It’s crazy how ppl would do such things and make themselves believe they are the victim in all of it. But yea, at this point I’m not even sad or angry; I’m actually relieved that friendship is over for good. Not that I was planning on rekindling in the first place. But the truth is that in such a good place rn it’s unreal but yea thinking about what happened in the last couple of days makes me giddy because it’s so unreal. I would elaborate more on that other happier topic but I know this post is already a bit too long 🤭

[ylove-bandaesthetics]

q&a favorite songs in spanish? and why did you get shit for doing deity aesthetics?? if you don't do them because it's YOUR OWN CHOICE that's fine but you shouldn't get shit for it!! you are so kind and respectful and you shouldn't get shit for doing aesthetics like- ugh. would an aesthetic of a singer as the devil count? I really want to make one but if you don't want to, that's fine! and as a believer myself I say some others need to chill the f out, ghost namedrops deities & they slap!!

No I’m telling you hon it’s apparently very wrong to some ppl to do that even though, you guys know me I’m very respectful with everybody and their beliefs like you said I would never do anything with bad intention, but it was a long time ago when I barely started getting into doing aesthetics and it was becoming somewhat popular because I started getting requests! And this one anon requested a deity moodboard since they saw I was doing Gods/Goddesses aesthetics, I forgot the name of the deity they requested, (think it had multiple arms if I wasn’t mistaken) but I happily made it for them, I honestly didnt think nothing of it. But oh…my lord the next day after posting it, the replies on that post were so bad, they were calling me disrespectful, an offensive bitch, how dare I do that, etc. 🙃 like they were completely outraged about it and I’m not one to fight with anyone over the internet so I just took it down and that was first and last time I ever did those kinds of moodboards! I even made an apology post.

So now I get uncomfortable too if someone requests that because of what happened & that’s also why I say in my theme list on that category to keep it respectful too. I just would never want anyone to have a problem with me when I’m not trying to start anything yk?

Apparently devil and demon aesthetics are acceptable, I’ve never gotten anything bad from that, so you can request that! I’ve actually gotten lots of love from those lol! 🖤😈 And OH RIGHT SPANISH SONGS LMAOO! Yk what anything from the band Mana & Vilma Palma y Vampiros, & Selena Q and also Alejandra Guzman owns my heart! lol! 🤘🏼