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theclaravoyant · 16 days ago

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if you get lost (you can always be found) - buddietommy (Rated T)

When Tommy faces the daunting task of parenthood, he reaches out to Buck and Eddie for help. Could this be a second chance at the future cut short between them, and the family he's always longed for?

AN ~ merry christmas to @miriellesandthegiantpeach <3 written for the @buddietommydaily exchange!!

Relationships: Eddie x Buck x Tommy,

Tags: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Established Buddie, Past Bucktommy, Pre-Buddietommy, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Adjacent/UA (Canon Divergence) CW: contains mild references / implied domestic violence (in Tommy's past). please read with care.

title from Home - Phillip Phillips

read on AO3 (~5000wd)

if you get lost (you can always be found)

Well. This is not where he was expecting his evening to be headed.

He was expecting paperwork. Paperwork and drudgery and the frankly ridiculous amount of bureaucracy that comes with death. He was expecting to spend his night drinking and playing far too much Billy Joel and arguing with his cousins about selling Nick's estate.

Instead, he's getting -

Olivia Beth Kinard.

His name is on her and everything, on a little card attached to her swaddle. It isn't��his name, obviously. It's hers. It was Nick's - She was Nick's. Nick's and Jaimie's and now...

“Is there really not anyone else?”

The lawyer exchanges a glance with the social worker, and Tommy realises how that sounds.

“It's not because I don't want her,” he swears. “I just – Nick and I haven't been close in a long time. Isn't there somebody who knows her who wants her?”

What he really wants to say, all of thirty seconds into looking at her scrunchy sleepy little face, is I can't imagine a world where she's not wanted.

“That's... not really how it works, Mr Kinard,” the lawyer points out. “You were named in the will and are her nearest biological relative. Of course, you can decline, but in the intervening time while we investigate the possibility of other family being able to take her, Olivia would go into foster...”

Tommy shakes his head, and the lawyer looks a little relieved at not having to pull out the full spiel.

“That won't be necessary,” he insists. “Please. Just. Give me an hour to make a call and get together some supplies.”

Somehow it's closer to four hours later by the time he finds himself at a diner with a baby carrier on the table, a grocery bag stuffed to the brim with nappies and bottles and pouches of food at his feet, and his useless brick of a phone staring up at him. Judging him. Laughing at him. Who on Earth is he calling? What was he thinking? He can't handle a baby.

Maybe he should just call DCP back after all.

Or maybe he should call -

No.

No, it wouldn't be fair to show up on his doorstep after all this time and beg back in. Not after the way they'd left things – not even if he knows for a fact that the kids in Evan's life make everything better. His face lights up when he sees them. He's got a potty training setup even in that bachelor pad of a loft. He's probably changed more diapers in the time they were dating than Tommy has in his whole life. He wouldn't have spent half an hour pacing the baby food before realising the age recommendations for the different ones are right there on the packages. He'd know what to do.

And God, Tommy would give anything to watch him do it. Just thinking of Evan makes the wound burn raw again; the hissing, spitting loose ends like sheared electric cables, of the future he'd cut short between them. He's such a coward. But for Olivia's sake, he can't be a coward anymore. Even if there's no future there anymore, even if Evan is mad enough to let Maddie hang draw and quarter him like she probably wants to, there's no way Evan wouldn't help a child. There's no way he could look at Livvy and not melt.

Okay. So he's still a coward, and this little one's his shield. But at least he's a coward with a plan now.

“Sorry, Evan,” he mutters, and hits dial.

Buck hits send on the email, and sighs. He raises his beer bottle, and Eddie clinks his against it.

“To the loft.”

“To the loft!”

“Truly the end of an era.”

It's a little bittersweet, sure; that place has been where he's laid his head for more than five years now. It's the longest he's stayed in one place since he was a kid. He has good memories there – and no shortage of painful ones too. Even still, Buck can't keep the smile off his face, or the sparkle from his eyes as Eddie pulls up the latest episode of Secretos del Corazón on the recorder. He still likes to pretend he's not as invested as he is, but apparently this week there's a kidnapping and the reveal of Sofia's baby daddy, and Buck just knows he's going to have opinions about it. Opinions that Buck is going to hear about all night. In bed. Together.

Sometimes he really can't believe his life.

“Are you ready?” Eddie asks. What he means is don't interrupt this one, and Buck loves that for him. For both of them.

“Hang on, hang on.” He jumps up to fetch the popcorn from the kitchen bench, and flicks off the lights on his way back. “Ambience, right?”

Eddie rolls his eyes, with an inescapably fond smile of his own.

Buck is about to sit back down, when his phone rings.

“Ignore it.” Eddie waves it away, almost bouncing in his seat. “Secretos time.”

But Buck can't help but stare dumbfounded at the phone. The name on the screen strikes him like lightning. He'd never removed the blue heart after his name, or changed the contact picture from the selfie of the two of them kissing on a hike at sunset. The memory of watching him walk away plays in his head like it was yesterday and he could swear his heart skips a beat. Maybe the ghost of the loft is coming for him after all.

“... it's Tommy,” he manages, and Eddie forgets the television entirely.

“What? Answer it then!”

“I can't answer it, you answer it!”

“Me?”

“You answer my phone all the time!”

“Not when it's Tommy!”

“Please?”

“Fine!”

Eddie holds up a finger and slides the bar across. Buck holds his breath, and before Eddie can open his mouth to speak there's that beautiful, familiar voice.

“Evan.”

He sounds shaken. Heartbroken. Scared.

“Evan. Please pick up. I'm so sorry. I need your help. I – I didn't know who else to call.”

Eddie passes the phone over, and grabs his jacket and Buck's and his keys.

“Tommy? Where are you? We're on our way.”

By the time Eddie and Evan arrive at the diner, Olivia is crying and Tommy's rapidly wearing out his welcome. He rocks and bounces like he thinks he's supposed to; he's tried offering to feed her; he doesn't know how to burp her; nothing helps. Nothing helps, except the flood of relief he gets when he finally lays eyes on them. They were together when he called, because of course they were. They're together together now, apparently, and it makes perfect sense, and call him a selfish bastard but he still can't bring himself to regret calling.

How could he, when Evan sweeps Olivia from his arms and works his magic. He bounces and babbles to her until she's babbling back, and sure, it's late in a poorly lit diner and he's avoiding eye contact like the plague, but he's glowing like he was born for this.

How could he, when Eddie's soft brown eyes find his.

“You okay, man?”

You're okay.

“Yeah,” Tommy chokes. “It's been a long day.”

Eddie beckons him back into the booth and it's way too late for coffee, but his night's shot anyway so why not. He downs a cup and starts to explain, walking backwards through the grocery store to the social worker, the will, the call, the crash. His brother and his sister-in-law had been killed in a car crash. That's what had started all this. He hadn't been on the scene, but it's not like he hasn't seen enough of them to imagine...

“Hey, where's your truck?” Eddie asks, as Tommy fights off visions of scalding asphalt and broken glass.

“In the lot across the street. Why?”

“You're coming back with us tonight. You're going to have some proper food, and a shower, and hopefully a sleep. In the morning we'll call a lawyer and a real estate agent and your tax accountant cousin and whoever else but for tonight, let's just focus on getting you home. Buck, you can drive the Hilux?”

“Hm? Yeah.”

Evan circles back down the isle toward their booth, and finally gets the guts to look Tommy in the eyes. He looks hurt, sure, but more concerned, and Tommy's never been more grateful he met the man. He doesn't dare speak as he carefully trades the settling baby for his car keys; he tries not to think about how Evan's gentle hands linger. How his eyes drag over his lips for a moment when they're close, and the air feels heavy.

“Beth was your mother's name,” Evan says.

“Yeah. I didn't name her, but...”

“It's sweet.”

For a moment, they're standing in another life. One where Tommy didn't leave, and Evan didn't let him. Then Evan clears his throat and drops his eyes and walks away, and it's Tommy's turn to be the one to watch him go.

Buck is already awake by the time Tommy stirs. He's dug out the baby bjorn from his days babysitting a smaller Jee-Yun, and is mumbling Big Red Car to himself, and to Olivia, as he bops around the kitchen getting breakfast. Which for her is just milk, but still.

He smiles at Tommy's familiar grumble, his muss of curls sticking every which way as he drags himself into a sitting position.

“I told you, Eddie's couch is so comfortable, isn't it?”

“Never doubted you,” Tommy promises, although his eyes fall to Olivia immediately. “Oh – thanks, I can -”

“Don't worry about it,” Buck assures him. “She's an early riser, just like- just like me.”

No, he wasn't about to say just like her dad. He hasn't even known her twenty four hours yet. And her dad is dead. And there's so many reasons why it's the wrong thing to even think about saying.

Tommy swallows something down; maybe he's about to point all this out. But he doesn't.

“Mind if I make a coffee?”

“Sure. Make me one too? There's instant above the microwave or a HILDY in the nook there if you want.”

Tommy scoffs. Like everyone who knows Eddie does. “Eddie does not own a HILDY.”

“I bought it for him. Years ago, as a joke.” Buck feels his ears blush against his will. He should be getting used to this by now. Only, Tommy blushes too this time, a little bit.

“'As a joke'?” he repeats.

“Yeah. I know.”

Before they can wade further into the Eddie of it all, they're interrupted by another set of footsteps. Then -

“Tommy?!”

Christopher's face lights up like it's Christmas morning for a moment, but then he glances from Buck to Tommy and back and his grin turns into a frown of confusion.

“Wait. I thought you broke up?”

“We did,” Buck explains, and it's tough to find the words, “but, um - we're still... friends?”

He grimaces, struggling to find the words. The way he'd felt alone in that kitchen with the rug pulled out from under him didn't feel like friends. But we're both self sabotaging insecure assholes who happen to have reunited in a time of need, now he's crashing on our couch and I kind of want to ask him to stay there, feels like a bit much, too.

Tommy sucks a breath in.

“I called your dad and Buck because I needed help,” he clarifies. “And they came and helped me. For which I'm very grateful, but really, I should go.”

“Wait,” Buck interrupts, before Tommy can so much as lift his bottom off the couch. And wait he does, and Buck feels something pass between them just like it had the other night. Whatever it is, it compels him to push on: “... At least stay for that coffee? Chris hasn't even really met Livvy yet. And we've all got the day off - maybe we could go down to Babies R Us, get you set up with a crib and everything.”

“First I've gotta call the bank, the hospital, and Eddie's estate guy.”

“Right.” Buck sobers. “Stay for that, then.”

At least he can make a mean casserole. He hears those come in handy, while grieving.

So Tommy stays.

He doesn't so much stay as not-leave, at first. Honestly, it's nice to have people to help keep him fed and laundered while he checks out funeral homes or gets a little too drunk and hollers Piano Man at the top of his lungs. It's nice to watch Howie and Maddie bounce Olivia on their knees; to have Eddie and Evan get up in the middle of the night when he can't; to have Hen or Bobby swing by the store when he's out of diapers. Which happens a lot. Babies go through a lot of diapers.

(It's nice to have someone to come home to again, too, but he's trying not to think too hard about that).

Then he keeps coming back, as more and more he finds that the good crib and the good bjorn and the good formula and the good everything is over at South Bedford. They've had a lifetime of family to funnel it all there; old toys from Denny and Christopher and Jee, their favourite brands of pacifiers and teething chews, their favourite swaddle techniques. Advice and love and Lord, the gadgets. He has to admit, he loves a gadget.

“This thing is a life saver.” Tommy all but kowtows to the bottle cleaner, watching as it works its magic to get Olivia’s bottles fresh and sterilised. Brushes and nozzles move around with an efficiency it would take all night with manual scrubbing to achieve; it's like a tiny little car wash in there. Maybe it's the baby brain, but he's pretty sure it's a miracle.

“It’s awesome, isn’t it?” Evan agrees. “We’ll need this one for the mini-Jee, but I’ll send you the specs if you like.”

Something about the way he says it tugs at Tommy's heart. (Hope?) He looks up. Evan's fingers play nervously with a little toggle on top of the machine, and he looks for all the world like there's something he wants to say. Tommy knows those big deep eyes too well not too; Evan's heart has always been on his sleeve.

Unless. Tommy wills him to say. Unless you want to keep using this one.

“I... hear there's a sale on,” is what comes out.

“Oh, cool,” Tommy forces himself to say.

Buck's restlessness is loud that night. He’s flat on his back, staring at the ceiling. He’s not even moving much or making a sound, but at the same time somehow he's buzzing like a power saw. Eddie suspects it has something to do with a certain firefighter pilot and his impromptu niece-daughter who have taken up residence in their living room.

“MmmBuck?” Eddie raises an eyebrow.

“’m fine,” Buck mumbles noncommittally.

“You thinking about Tommy?”

He doesn't respond, at first. The sense of buzzing sort of... quiets.

“It's okay if you are, you know,” Eddie promises.

“No, it's not,” Buck objects. “He – we broke up and it's weird that it's not weird. Isn't it? I can't just go 'round inviting people to stay in your house.”

“My house? Since when?” Eddie laughs, just for a moment. He turns onto his side and pulls himself onto Buck's chest, sobering at Buck's beleaguered expression. “Okay, first of all – I was the one who did the inviting. Second of all, you and I both know this is as much your house as it is mine, it practically has been since I met you. Thirdly. I love you, Evan. And if you love Tommy then... I'm sure we can figure something out.”

Evan unlocks something in his chest. The pining ache, the breakup, the upending revelation of it all. The feeling like he could finally take a breath. If you love Tommy? He certainly thinks about him when he's not there. Sometimes it feels like he never stopped. His concerns are Tommy's concerns – are Livvy's concerns. He can see a future, clear as day there. It's just... Eddie and Chris are there too. Can he want that much? Eddie seems fine with it. Maybe he can.

“I know you don’t believe in like… fate,” he explains at last, and honestly, he feels silly himself saying it out loud, but Eddie stays silent, prepared to hear him out on this one. “But I’ve been thinking; what if this is the universe, giving us a second chance.”

“I don’t know about the universe,” Eddie offers, “but the man inherited a baby and you were his first call. That’s not nothing, Buck.”

He gives him a brief, gentle kiss, and settles back onto the bed tucked against Buck's shoulder, and he adds -

“You were mine too, you know.”

And it's decided. Buck's going to ask him to stay.

It's been a couple of weeks now, and Tommy likes to thinks he's picked up a couple things. Like, he's getting the hang of the sway-rock-bounce rhythm that works best for her. He can check the milk temperature, and the baby temperature (apparently they don't self regulate well, whose idea was that), and he can change the diaper. He can tell when she's supporting herself well and when she needs help and honestly, the flush of pride he feels whenever she rolls over is a little embarrassing. It makes him want to write a letter to every early parent he's ever met, and apologise for failing to respond with the appropriate enthusiasm to this stuff.

All told, he's come a long way, and considering he'd never planned on having a baby in his life he likes to think he's handling the learning curve pretty well, actually. Sometimes he even dares to think he's doing Nick and Jaimie proud. Sometimes he can see his little brother in her smile.

“'Cause I guess I'm your dad now, Livvy,” he murmurs, over the world's tiniest spoonful of apple sauce. “Somebody's got to be, right?”

She gurgles, and whacks herself in the face with her own apple-sauce coated hand, because of course she does. She doesn't understand what a dad is, or a mom, or a car or a crash or that she's not alone – not that, never alone. She doesn't understand that he would die for her.

Wow. Having kids is intense.

He sighs, and dips a teething stick into the apple sauce for himself. It's not bad. A little bland, maybe, but apparently he's not supposed to go messing around with crazy flavours like cinnamon or yoghurt just yet. And as he chomps he pulls up the web page Activities to Try With Your Baby: Six Months. He scrolls through, contemplating several they've already been toying with and his eye catches on a paragraph about the development of proprioception and why babies like to 'fly'.

So sue him.

“Wanna try flying, Livvy? Ready?”

He starts off with a gentle little bounce. Then a little, little, big bounce - in reality only a few extra inches, and he's holding on the whole time - and Olivia giggles. Tommy feels the smile break out across his face.

“Oh, you like that do you? Let's go again.”

Little, little, big bounce. Little, little, biiiiiig bounce. She's flying, and this has never felt so easy and simple and meant to be. His little girl is happy and he thought of it all by himself. He even gets up off the couch and starts walking a lap of the room with her, lifting her up a little more and a little more each time until she's sailing over his head – still safe in his hands of course – and she tosses her tiny fists up and down and shrieks with delight.

And then with fear, and it's the worst sound he's ever heard.

It all happened so fast: both of them in clouds of sheer bliss, and then he trips on the carpet or one of her toys and it's only a split second before he catches himself and her and everything's fine and he plops onto the couch with her cradled against his chest and everything is fine but she won't stop screaming. He's made a mistake. She screams until she throws up apple sauce and teething biscuits all over his shirt, and then digs deeper and screams even more, as if to let the whole world know that she's scared. And that Tommy did it to her, all by himself.

“Go for Buck.”

“You need to find Tommy. Right now.”

Maddie's voice is tight – near panicked. Buck's heart drops through his stomach. He freezes right in the way of the tomatoes and upon catching his expression, Eddie drops the onion he's examining; all eyes on Buck.

“What? Did something happen? Is Liv-”

“Olivia's fine,” Maddie promises, despite said baby scream-crying her tiny lungs out in the background. “Something happened while they were playing and freaked Tommy out. He called me and told me to take her to the hospital so I am but... he's not in a good place, Evan. Something's really wrong.”

This time, Evan cuts through him like a knife. Eddie's already prying the grocery basket from his hand and herding Buck back toward the door.

“Did- Did he say where he was going?” Buck manages.

“No.” On the other end of the phone, Maddie lets out a breathy, nervous, almost bitter sort of laugh. “I think you've got yourself another fugitive.”

Everything Maddie went through to make her describe herself like that; it flashes through Buck's mind and sets his heart racing. Everything he knows Tommy went through – is probably still going through, in some ways, especially with his brother so recently passed – turns his stomach. It seems so obvious now that he thinks about it. That of course, he'd struggle with fatherhood after such a troubled relationship with his own father. He just hadn't been expecting it to hit so suddenly, so strongly. Then again, he knows all too well, the mind and the heart work in mysterious ways.

Like now, when inspiration strikes him out of the blue.

“Look after Livvy,” Buck says, “I think I know where he is. I'll call you tonight. Pinky swear.”

“Pinky swear.”

He hangs up, and snatches the keys off of Eddie.

“Where are we going?” Eddie asks.

“Call it gut instinct.”

Eddie hates calling it that, but he doesn't object. He just swings up into the passenger seat, and not for the first time Buck contemplates how lucky he is to have a partner who follows almost his every whim. Even if it means jumping on the 105 with a driver so near out of his mind with worry it seems to have circled back around into painstaking clarity and white hot determination.

He can only hope he turns out to be right.

The sky is clear, the sun bright and warm on Tommy's face as he sits atop the roof – a viewing platform of sorts – at the Harrison Airfield hangar. Keys to his favourite chopper sit clumped in a pile on the tiny metal table before him, next to a pretty average americano in a paper cup. His head's not clear enough to fly. Even in this state he's not that stupid. So he takes a deep breath of the breeze and wonders what on earth he's going to tell Evan and Eddie. Maybe nothing. Maybe he should just keep driving, head up to Colorado. There's probably something in wilderness rescue he could be doing up there and Livvy? Livvy would be safer here. Happy here. With dads who would love her and know what they're doing and who would never, ever hurt her.

He can still remember finding Nick hiding under the bed when they were kids – and once they got too big for that, hanging out in the garage even in the heat or the snow, just so that they weren't inside. He remembers microwave dinners, being petrified of the sound of his own rusty old screen door. The feeling of a leather belt against his skin. He remembers screaming and crying because he couldn't help it, then because it might help. It never did. Most of all, he remembers what it's like to be scared of his father. He could never do that to her again. Not for one second. Olivia deserves so much better.

She deserves better than me.

His phone, too, sits on the poor excuse for a coffee table with the message typed out, unsent. He backspaces.

Please love my little girl. I have to go.

He backspaces again.

I love you.

The door to the rooftop flies open and he jumps. He whips around, to see a very worried Evan and Eddie bursting out onto the concrete.

“Don't do it,” Evan breathes, like the words are bursting from his chest. Then he looks from Tommy – safely, if miserably, sitting and halfheartedly drinking a coffee well back from the roof's edge – and he looks if anything, confused. “What are you doing?”

“Contemplating my navel,” Tommy replies. “And the security at this place, apparently.”

“Funny,” Eddie snips back. “Walk out on everyone you love, do you?”

He steps in front of Evan like he can protect him from Tommy's prickliness and Tommy loves that, he loves them, it's what Evan deserves. His heart aches with it. And it's a low blow, but he can't say it's not deserved even as he rails against it.

“I didn't ask you to follow me.”

“You don't have to ask,” Eddie pushes. “Maddie did. Because she's worried about you. Because she cares about you, Tommy.”

You idiot.

“Yeah, well, maybe she shouldn't. Her stupid decisions aren't on me.”

“And what about Nick then, hm? Did he make a stupid decision, trusting you with his daughter?”

Savage, he should say. That's uncalled for.

But what comes out is -

“Yes! Of course he did! I left him behind, why on earth would he think I wouldn't do the same to her too?! I'm a coward, okay? I'm a coward. And I run when I get scared. Abby. Evan. Nick. I always run. That's what I'm doing here, I'm avoiding my problems like I always do. Livvy deserves better than that, so why don't you two go on home to her and leave me to it?”

It feels like ripping a scar open. It runs so much deeper than he'd thought. Walking out on Livvy didn't start with Evan, didn't start with Abby, it stared with Nick. It started with enlisting as soon as he could and leaving his little brother in the dust, to survive their father alone.

“So which is it?”

Evan interrupts this train of thought.

“What?”

“Are you cutting and running? Or are you leaving because you love her so much you think she deserves better than you?”

In a parallel world, they're standing in Evan's kitchen. Or maybe in his hall, if he'd had the heart to chase him back then.

“I love her,” Tommy promises. “More than anything.”

“Then don't leave.”

Evan nudges past Eddie, and comes to kneel by Tommy, so Tommy can't avoid his face. Tommy does his best to do so anyway.

“You know,” Evan says. “When I was a kid, I thought Maddie had abandoned me. For years I thought she'd run off with her boyfriend even though we'd always promised to leave Hershey together. Turns out Doug was an abusive dick and Maddie gave me her only means of escape to get me out of there. She loved me more than I could ever understand. I think Nick knew you loved him, too.”

He scoffs. “I wasn't as selfless as all that.”

“Not the point,” Evan assures him. “The point is, he left you his child. His most beloved thing on Earth. You must have done something right for him to do that, Tommy, and if you can't trust yourself to see that – trust him.”

“Exactly,” Eddie agrees. “I mean, Buck must have told you about my Will?”

Evan blinks and glances back at him, like he hasn't seen the parallels in this to his own lesson. Tommy frowns. Chris has always been such a part of Evan that Tommy hadn't really thought about the ins and outs of it. How there's so much love there, and trust, even despite going through the tsunami together and crying in front of him about Eddie being shot and going no contact during the lawsuit and all the things Evan feels ashamed of... It's not the same as making his own daughter cry, but it's not not the same either. And Maddie; she and Evan are so close now, too. It's impossible to imagine there was ever that sword hanging over them.

Not to mention, Tommy himself and Evan. Why had he called that night from the diner, if he didn't want to fix things?

Why had Evan and Eddie chased him out here, if not because they believe he's worth chasing?

Evan's words form a lump in his throat.

If you can't trust yourself to see that – trust him.

“I know it's scary,” Evan assures him. “Hell. It's terrifying. Just ask Eddie about the early days with Chris, he's got some horror stories. Or Maddie and Jee. That's why she called me, you know. She knows what it's like to feel like you're bad for your kid. But you're not, Tommy. You're not.”

Hot tears sting his eyes, for the first time in a long time. He can't imagine Maddie feeling like this. Or Eddie. Or Evan. Nobody in the world deserves to feel this awful except for him.

(Maybe not even him. And that's why she called. And that's why they're here.)

Tommy tries to swallow past the tears, and meet Evan's eyes at last. They're big and blue and tearful too and he feels embarrassingly, beautifully pathetic as Evan reaches up to trail his fingers along his cheek. Slowly, ever so gently, he raises up on his knees and follows his touch with a kiss.

“Stay, Tommy,” he insists. “Do the brave thing, and stay.”

#evan buckley x eddie diaz x tommy kinard #polyfire #buddietommy #buddietommydaily #tv: 911 #clara's fic tag

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ofwannabees · 3 years ago

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who: @staudrina what: candy assigned hot girl shit where: lambda rho house bay bee!!

“There’s my lawyer girl!” Kitty beamed from across the room like it was something to show off. Congratulations, your town’s local psychopath picked YOU to star in her game show! “You’re gonna rock this shit,” she said as she made her way to the redhead, the Barbie fake smile still on her lips as she tacked on the subtle jab. “You had all those lawyers before, right? You totally must have learnt from them.” There’s a part of her equally curious and hopeful about the possibility of Zahra, the actual law student, being upset about the other girl getting the role. Those two girls fighting used to mean the end of the world for Kitty. Always walking a tightrope where she might pick the wrong side and plummet back into social irrelevancy, but now that she’s sunk her claws into the life of a Cherry It Girl, those two destroying each other was almost best case scenario. “I’m so proud of you, girl! Show me your lawyer heels! I know you already have them picked out.”

#「 🍑 」 𝐃𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 » PICK A PERSONALITY FOR FREE WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE NOBODY.#「 🍑 」 𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐀 𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑 » DASH INTERACTIONS.#it won't let me tag you?? home of phone brick

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spaghettificationandpretzels · 2 years ago

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The Weight of the World

A huge, massive, genuine thank you to @rayslittlekitten for the help with this. This idea has been rolling around in my brain for months and months, and I've only just come up with the brain space to write it. Can be read as a The Reaper and the Death Angel one-shot.

Contains: Consent and kink negotiation, smut (Sub!Jax, rope bondage, hand job, F masturbation, size kink, oral sex F receiving, face sitting, P in V, aftercare), fluff.

3.9K words

Comment if you want to be tagged/removed

Jax learns to let go

You had been spending the day at Disosa with Venus, your normally busy Friday was freed up by a huge administration screw up that was going to take weeks to fix. Nero and Jax had been at CaraCara giving the girls the rundown on how working at Disosa would work and how much they would be paid for a date.

"How have things been at home dear?"

You shrugged, "a lot, Jax has been so overwhelmed that I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall sometimes. He won't relax for a second, even the sex feels like he's aggravated."

She chucked, "sounds like he needs some time out of his head."

You sighed, "that's what the sex is usually for, but I know he's a million miles away. I don't want to put more on his plate but the guy needs to take a break." Venus gave you a gentle smile and picked up the rope that was currently resting on the table.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Ideas filled your head, "he seems like the type that would enjoy his woman telling him what to do."

You nodded, "there have been those occasions, which he has enjoyed very much."

She gave you a smirk, "then I think you know what you need to do."

The slam of the front door told you all you needed to know about how Jax's day went. "Are you alright my love?" Jax huffed, his face locked in a scowl, "sometimes running the Club feels like herding cats." You placed a hand on his shoulder, "you wanna take a few days, leave Ope to take over. We could head to the cabin and spend the weekend doing nothing?"

"Are you kidding me? Between expanding Diosa and trying to find new ways to earn, I don't have the time."

You shook your head, "bullshit, I have shit backed up to the middle of next year and I can spare a weekend, if you burnout you'll feel even worse."

Jax's jaw clenched, "I'm not fighting with you over this."

You took a deep breath, "I don't want to fight Jax, I just want to help." Jax huffed, "we always go back to this, you don't want to fight but you won't budge on me needing to get shit done."

You shook your head, "you can't get shit done if you're not sleeping and looking after yourself."

He left out a short laugh, "says the woman who stays at work for two days straight with no sleep."

It was your turn to huff, "then I come home and do nothing for two days straight after that." Jax sucked on his tongue, trying to think of a reply that wouldn't hurt your feeling but before he could say anything, his phone rang.

He stormed back when the conversation ended, "this isn't finished."

You sighed, "no it's not, but you clearly have shit to deal with."

****

It was just past ten when your phone rang, you were sitting up in bed hoping that Jax got home before you fell asleep, his tone told you all you needed to know, "hey darlin."

His side of the bed was going to be cold tonight, "hello my love, you'll be dealing with Club stuff tonight?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry and I'm sorry about this afternoon too, I know you're just trying to help."

He sounded sad, "it's alright, things have been pretty stressful the last few weeks, I'll see you when I see you."

Jax sounded a bit better, "good night darlin, sleep well."

"Goodnight beloved."

****

You woke up the next morning to Jax's side of the bed untouched, as you walked downstairs, any hope of Jax having fallen asleep on the couch was dashed, his shoes and bike weren't there either.

You got breakfast together and answered work emails then did your best to get your mind off what was going on with Jackson, he texted you midday, and your mood dropped further.

"I won't be home until tonight. I'm sorry, miss you."

If a text could sound sad, his would, "not problems my love, I'll see you tonight."

You put the phone down with a harsh breath, half wanting to spend the day wallowing in your misery but after centring yourself, you had a plan, with a deep breath and an internal pep talk, you got up to put it in place.

****

Jax returned home to a house that smelt like fresh bread and his favourite stew, the smell of beef making his mouth water. He kicked off his shoes and came around the corner, being greeted by you with a glass of scotch in one hand and a plate of nuts and cheeses in the other.

"Have a seat my love, dinner with be ready in an hour." You placed the booze and snacks on the side table and stepped toward him, running your hands under his kutte before taking it off and hanging it on its coat hook in the hallway.

"What this about?"

There was an arrogance in his tone, "I was talking about your stress when I should have been doing something about it."

He sat down and you handed him the food you had prepared, "I need to put the finishing touches on dinner, you relax and enjoy yourself." To Jax's happiness, you had sat him down where he could watch you cook, the scotch warming his throat and the rich cheese eased the hunger he had been feeling all day.

Jax had a smug smirk growing on his face, it wasn't like you didn't dote on him but this made him feel different. He was sipping what was clearly a high end drink, and eating cheese that must have cost you a lot of money while you cooked his favourite meal.

You could feel his eyes following you, you knew what he was thinking, that after dinner, he could drag you upstairs and spend the whole night taking out his frustration on you while you begged him to keep going. You smiled to yourself as you started to pull the beef off the bone, while that would normally be the case, tonight, he was wrong.

****

Jax watched you take both plates in your hands and walk to the dining room, following you with his trademark swagger, "you didn't need to get up, I was coming to get you."

He smirked, "I couldn't wait any longer, it smells amazing." You put the plates down and pulled out his chair, Jax smiling as he sat down.

Dinner was a slow affair, you listened to Jax as he talked about his day and why he was so busy, not offering solutions, just being there with him while he spoke, as dinner wound down, you got him dessert, a caramel cake you had spent the day baking then handed him another glass of scotch and told him to relax while we got the next part of the night ready.

You walked upstairs and into the bedroom, drawing an extra hot bath and lining up the various products you had chosen for the night, lighting some candles and dimming the lights.

After that, you returned to Jax and walked him upstairs, undressing him piece by piece, starting with his rings as you pulled each one off and pressed your thumbs into his tight palms. You moved to his shirt, running your hands over his abs are he bent down so you could pull it over his head. His jeans were next, Jax smirking as the belt came away and your hands reached the fly, "don't get any ideas Teller."

He huffed, "come one darlin." You chose to ignore the growing hardness in his pants as you removed the last of his clothes and directed him to the shower.

"Get clean then climb into the bath, I'll be in when you're done washing up."

You prepared the bed, putting out the massage oil and making sure the room was at a comfortable temperature. Then you went back into the bathroom just as Jax was sitting down in the bath, you had left a chair at the head end of that bath and sat down, picking up the tingly hair mask and rubbing it in your hands before weaving your fingers on to Jax's scalp and rubbing the cream in, Jax's head falling against your hands.

"That feels so good."

His voice was rough, "good, there's more of that on the way." Next was a wet skin cream that you spread all over his exposed neck, shoulder and upper arms, your hands gliding over the knots and tensions while Jax leaned into your hands.

The water had been tinted with the oils you added and the products you had washed off Jax's body but the look on his face betrayed that he was hard under the water.

He chuckled as you smeared a face mask over his fine features, "you really are treating me tonight, aren't you darlin?"

You leaned down a pressed a kiss to his shoulder dome, "and I'm not done." You wiped the mask off him and helped him out of the bath and drained the water, drying him off with the softest towel you owned. You did your best to act like his cock wasn't standing to attention as you brushed the towel over his crotch, Jax's abs hardening as the soft fabric brushed it.

"Go lay on the bed on your stomach, there's a pillow there so you can lie down without turning your head." You followed close behind him and picked up the bottle of oil that was being warmed in a bucket of hot water, Jax paused when you didn't climb on top of him, instead settling next to him as you uncapped the oil and poured it over his muscular back.

You rubbed the ache out of his back, pausing to trace his tattoo as you went, then moving down to his strong thighs and perfectly shaped ass, his foot twitching as you ran a firm hand from the back of his knee, over his asscheek and into the hard ropes of his lower back.

"Flip over." Jax did so slowly, his muscles unwilling to retighten as he moved.

He settled on his back, his cock hard, red and weeping against his stomach, "you gonna leave me hanging."

He was clearly talking about his dick, "I'm not done with this, you're going to have to wait." You spread the oil over his chest, digging your fingers into his solid pecs then moving down to thumb out the painful knots over his ribs.

"Come a little closer, I'm getting cold." You rolled your eyes and got up, turning the thermostat up and moving to sit with you back up against the headboard, bringing Jax's head into your lap while you teased out the hard bludges along his jaw from clenching it all the time.

"Come on darlin, stop teasing." You shook your head as you ran the flat of your hands over the sides of his neck

"I'm not teasing you, I'm doing this to make you feel good."

He chuckled, "I know what else will make me feel good."

You shook your head, "when I'm done here."

"You don't need to keep going, I'm good, I want something different." You pressed your fingers hard into the dome of his shoulder, Jax gasping as the muscles unravelled far faster than what felt good, "you need to learn to let go Jackson."

He huffed, "I'd rather pound you into the mattress."

You took a deep breath, "no, I have no intention to leave you hanging but I want to look after you so let me."

Jax reached up and wrapped a warm hand around your wrist, "you're about to get yourself in trouble."

You yanked your wrist away, "you're here because you can't let go, don't ruin the night by undoing all my hard work."

Jax chuckled and you cut him off, "you have a control issue."

He huffed, "no I don't."

"Says the man who won't let me do anything for him, why won't you let me look after you?"

He smiled, "you are looking after me, but I want something more and you're not being fast enough."

You sighed, "like I said, control issues. I let you tie me up and do God knows what without thinking but I can't rub your back with the promise that you'll be getting off later because you want things your way."

Your tone was still warm but you were getting frustrated, "is that a challenged little girl?"

You smiled, "maybe it is, if you let me tie you up and let me take the reins for the night, I'll change my mind about your control issues."

Jax wound his hand into your shirt and pulled you down, "you can try but we both know you want to be the one being tied up."

"Not tonight, I'll be back." You went into the closet and pulled out the rope, unfurling it and walking back to the bed.

"Do you consent?"

He nodded, "do your worst."

The sides of your lips ticked up, "be careful Jackson, my worst might involve a flogger."

He swallowed, "alright pretty girl, the night's yours."

You walked back to the side of the bed dropped the rope, then picked up his arm and ran your hands up and down his flesh, "what are you going to say if you want me to stop?"

You could tell that Jax was indulging you in the hopes that he would get the upper hand and turn the tide, "I'll tell you to stop."

"Good, get comfortable with your arms above your head please." Jax didn't really say please and thank you when he was the one in control, he did as you asked, and you bound his hands to the headboard.

"You're so polite."

You gave him an almost glare, "now now, if you keep this up you may not be cumming tonight."

He huffed, "you're going to waste all your hard work just to teach me a lesson, that doesn't seem pretty fair to you."

You shook your head, "what I think is unfair to me is that you feel the need to bluster your way through everything. Letting go would do you some good."

He shot you an arrogant smirk, "it's that what I'm doing."

You clenched your jaw, "no, not really." With his arms tied, you climbed back on the bed and ran your hands over his chest, "all these big strong muscles and you can't do anything, if you pull, I'll extend this even longer."

Jax's eyes were filled with heat as they found yours, "are you having fun?"

"Yes I am, so don't give me a reason to have more. Remember the flogger dearest." That shut Jax up, "although, I think that perfect back would make a very nice target, I imagine those will defined muscles would blush so nicely but I think I'd like to redden your firm ass more." Jax seemed to understand that he wasn't the one pulling the strings after that.

"Alright I get the message." You got off him and stood and by his side, getting undressed slowly while you locked eyes with Jax. You ran your hands over your skin, stopping to graze your fingers over all the sensitive spots that you knew Jax loved to touch. Once you were naked and Jax's eyes were hooded, you swung a leg back over him and hovered over his upper chest.

Jax's eyes locked on your centre, his mouth watering when he saw you were visibly slick, "is that all from touching me."

The sharp look you gave him shut him up, "stop talking, you're antagonising me." Jax pressed his lips together as you slid your fingers down your body and through your slit.

"Are you enjoying the view, it's a simple yes or no Jackson."

He swallowed, "yeah, I do."

You smiled, "good because at this rate, it's all you're going to get." You spread your knees so he could see more of you and circled your clit with your index finger, Jax's eyes were fixed on its path as you collected wetness from your entrance and used it to slick your path.

You rubbed your clit until you clenched around nothing with the need to be filled then slipped two fingers inside your body. There was a lacing of disappointment, Jax's fingers felt so much better. You added a third and pressed your fingertips into your G-spot, Jax was breathing like he was running a marathon.

You fought the urge to place your free hand on his chest as you approached the peak, you forced yourself to remain quiet as you came. Jax watched you flutter around your fingers with a mix of anger and desire. You pulled your fingers out and brought them inches from his face, "you want a taste?" Jax lifted his head and you pulled away, "I didn't offer, I asked. Would you like a taste?"

"Please." Jax opened his mouth as you moved your fingers towards him and he sucked them into his mouth, you pulling them away long before he was satisfied. "Come and sit on my face, I want more."

You shook your head, "no. Maybe later." You collected more of your wetness, leaned back and grabbed his cock, stroking the first half of his cock in slow, gentle movements.

Jax grunted and he lifted off the bed, you putting your weight onto him so he couldn't move any further, "be good."

Jax huffed, "why are you being so mean."

You chuckled, "I'm not being mean, I'm taking my time. Now stop talking." You added more pressure and moved your hand over the whole shaft, it didn't take Jax long to reach the edge and you slowed, "not yet Jackson."

He swallowed and took a deep breath, holding back as best he could. You went through a cycle of speeding up and slowing down as he twitched in your hand, having to squeeze the base of his shaft as the pleasure mounted. Jax relaxed back into the pillows, his mind slowly quieting as the wave of sensation rolled over him.

Just as it was becoming impossible for him to hold back, you slowed and then stopped, sitting over his thighs and bringing a hand to stroke his face, "you've been so good for me, would you like a reward?" Jax nodded, "I need a verbal answer my love."

Jax took a deep breath, "please." You smiled and shifted, settling over his face and lowering yourself down.

Jax craned his head to reach you, his tongue coming out to lick you from clit to entrance and back again. You grabbed the headboard tightly as he sucked on your clit, doing your best to make sure your moans were rewards and not givens. Just as you were about to let out another one, he tugged on the ropes and you shot up.

"I told you not to tug." You sat back over his thighs and went back to stroking his cock, using the same pattern of stroking and squeezing until Jax was gasping and shaking. "Do you want to be inside me?"

Jax's eyes shot open, "please."

You smiled down at him, "then you need to show me you won't tug."

You moved back over him, Jax licking his lips as your centre moved closer. Jax moaned against you as your taste filled his mouth, smiling on your skin as the vibration caused you a gasp. This felt different to him, normally going down on you was an ego boost, he knew exactly what to do to get you shaking around his head but this felt like an act of worship and he suddenly understood why you loved getting on your knees for him so much.

It felt like the only thing on his mind was getting you off, he was no longer worried about the Club or money or the cops, nothing else mattered but how you were soaking his beard. Jax could tell you were close by how hard you were holding back the noise, but rather than say something, he just doubled his efforts.

You faulted and looked down, the far away look in Jax's eye telling you all you needed to know as you came violently. Jax acted like a man about to die of thirst as he did his best to get you to stay above him. A particular shake from you told Jax it was time to drop his head, then you were shifting backwards and leaning down to kiss him softly.

Jax's lower face was wet, and he licked his lips, "do you want to be inside me Jackson?"

Jax moaned, "was that a yes, no or a need a second?"

He took a deep breath, "yes please." You smiled and grabbed his cock, rubbing the tip over her slit then sunk down.

Jax gasped but to your surprise, didn't tug on the ropes as you started to move. You started off slow but that didn't last long, just as the pleasure became overwhelming, you sped up and he fell over the edge like a car off a roadside cliff. He slid out of you and you untied him as fast as you could, Jax's arms coming to wrap around you, "thank you Jackson."

He buried his face in your neck and kissed your skin, "I love you so much."

You smiled softly, "I love you too. You need anything?"

He shook his head, "just stay here a little longer?"

You nodded, "of course." You brought his wrists to your lips and kiss every inch of skin while Jax regained his bearings.

It took a little while before he let you slide off him, so you raced off to the bathroom the clean up before returning to the bedroom with a warm, damp washcloth and wiping his face then his soft cock. "You doing alright?"

He nodded, "I'm good." You climbed into bed and pulled him into your arms, his head resting on your chest.

Jax kissed your skin and took a deep breath, his brain still just out of reach, you twisted and opened the drawer, handing him a bottle of water, "can you have something to drink for me?" Jax took the bottle from your hand and drank half before handing it to you, "thank you my love."

"You need anything else."

Jax lifted his hand and brought it to your cheek, bringing you in for a kiss, "I'm alright." His tone was soft and reserved.

"Ok, did you enjoy yourself."

He smiled, "yeah, that was fun." You kissed his cheek, "would you like to do something like that again?"

He nodded, "yeah, maybe not right away, that was a lot."

You giggled, "yeah, it was."

Jax pressed his lips to your forehead, "I've gained a new respect for how easily you let go for me, it was harder than I thought it would be."

You hugged him tighter, "thank you for saying that." You held Jax for a little longer while he came back to earth, "would you like me to get you a snack?"

He shook his head, "I'm still stuffed from dinner and you."

You giggled, "alright then, sleep?"

He nodded and you moved down on the bed, Jax moving to lay on top of you with his arms wrapped around your body, "goodnight darlin."

"Good night beloved, I love you very much."

Fin

Your comments are wanted and loved!!

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albatris · 2 years ago

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character theme song tag? :D

thank you @calicojackofficial for the tag!! to pick some theme songs for my main characters! I love love love music tags and oc tags and oc music tags so this is right up my alley

I feel like @multi-lefaiye @nicola-writes @nerice @tracle0 @wherearetheplants might enjoy? music tag? yeehaw? as well as anyone else who'd like to join!!

anyway, I'm doing this for ATDAO and Rental Car because no one can stop me <3

ATDAO first!

Tris: "Sloom" by Of Monsters and Men

So make all your last demands, for I will forsake you And I'll meet your eyes for the very first time, for the very last So love me, mother, and love me, father And love my sister as well So love me, mother, and love me, father And love my brother as well

Noa: "Hold On When You Get Love And Let Go When You Give It" by Stars

Take the weakest thing in you And then beat the bastards with it And always hold on when you get love So you can let go when you give it

Kai: "Wander. Wonder." by the Arcadian Wild

I am always wondering what you see So I quietly conceal the dark inside of me Sins and scars you'll never recognise 'Cause I am the master of maintaining my disguise

Shara: "The Universe Is Going To Catch You" by The Antlers

Because we would call you at home and no one picked up the phone We were worried that you'd fallen in a river, or worse But then you sent us back a letter, it said in capital letters "THE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO CATCH YOU."

Marrick: "You Can Be Happy" by IAMX

You put me in a cage in the daily maze of flesh and rage But I will follow every truth I won't let you go I want every tomorrow

Jacob: "Boy" by Birds of Tokyo

I've a memory of a little boy Who you'd like to meet He could do anything I've been missing him Hope he's been missing me all these years

and Rental Car~

Nat: "Grenadine" by Dreadlight

I'll be the king of it, the queen of it The god of it, all of it Eat your heart after I lick it clean Tastes like blood and grenadine

Quinn: "Tongues & Teeth" by The Crane Wives

I will only break your pretty things I will only wring you dry of everything And if you're fine with that You can be mine like that

Alex: "The Quittin' Kind" by Eleisha Eagle

There's a corner you painted yourself in I'm not sure, what was your intention? Now you're trapped alone on an island And you can't swim, no, you can't swim All the windows mocking your sad face As you dwell, disgruntled and at bay Take your paintbrush, create a doorway

Yvonne: "Karma" by AJR

I've been so good, I've been helpful and friendly I've been so good, why am I feeling empty? I've been so good, I've been so good this year I've been so good, but it's still getting harder I've been so good, where the hell is the karma?

Zeke: "Absinthe" by IDKHOW

I don't believe whatever this is Until you burn all of the witches I won't believe whatever this is Whatever they give you, stop drinking it down I hear voices, I see visions These spirits are your prison

The Garble (Outermost Layers, aka "vampirism as a condition is an interconnected hivemind entity and its own sentience": "Inside of You, in Spite of You" by ThouShaltNot

I am the dawn of ages I am the days seen through I'm final entropy I am inside of you I am the clouds that cover Your way into the blue I kiss with life to give All this in spite of you

The Garble (Innermost Layers, aka "this is just some fucking asshole"): "Dead Moon" by Brick + Mortar

'Cause I pray to the dark of the moon It's making me shiver If you really wanna take me down You need to think bigger

The Ethels???: "Don't Worry, We'll Be Watching You" by Gotye (paranoia tw)

Hey, lost your way? Don't worry, just do as we say And we won't hurt you ... Do you need a reminder Of the love that we gave you? Don't worry You're walking away But we'll always be watching you

hehe. tunes :3

#almost almost almost put daylight by matt and kim for alex LMAO #~ and in the daylight we could hitchhike to maine ~ I hope that someday I'll see without these frames ~#I'm fine.#atdao #a rental car takes a left down rake street and disappears

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boldlyvoid · 4 years ago

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Amoreena | Chapter Nine

chapter nine

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Warnings: date night!! this is very fluffy, very emotional and extremely horny. edgar allan poe is rolling in his grave at what they did in his enchanted garden

exhibitionism, public sex (no ones there tho), drug mentions at the end (let me know if I should tag anything else!!!!)

word count: 5.4k

from the beginning <3

He spent all of Thursday afternoon with Penelope in Richmond, setting up for his date that night.

Stringing lights on the trees, mowing the grass and trimming the flowers back, the staff ensuring that the museum was in pristine condition for them tonight, it was perfect. The cats were brushed, there were rose petals the fountain and the most beautiful picnic set up in the garden.

Penelope packed their dinner for them, keeping it in the museum fridge for when they finally arrived, it was the only thing Spencer needed to remember.

Y/N: just got home, about to get ready! Can’t wait to see you at 6 ♥︎

Spencer smiled at his phone, about to text her back when Penelope laid a hand on his back, “change into your suit and head back to her, traffic might be bad?”

“Thank you, for everything. You’ve always been my best friend, more of big sister actually,” Spencer pressed his lips together tightly as to not get emotional. “You’re wonderful Penelope, thank you.”

“Awe!” She swooned, wrapping him up in a big hug. “I will always love you, Spencer, you deserve all of this and so, so much more, now go before I cry.”

He laughed, pulling back, hand lingering on her shoulder as he walked into the museum. They let him change in the backroom, it felt incredibly strange to be putting on a suit inside Edgar Allan Poe's house to go pick up his wife. Not too long ago he dreamed about bringing a girlfriend here someday, life was moving too quickly, he needed a breather.

He kept his suit jacket folded and on the passenger seat as he drove home, where he lived with his family. Even just thinking that as he paid attention to the road made him smile. The wind hitting his face, his hair blowing in the breeze, he felt free at last.

He was where he was supposed to be, all roads lead to here.

Travelling up her driveway with a smile on his face as the dust followed him to her doorstep. She was waiting in a red dress on the porch, Amoreena and her nanny eating pizza on the steps as they waited for him.

Stepping out of his car, he straightened his tie and pulled his pants up more, looking at his wife like she was a star plucked from the sky, landing in this Virginia field for him.

She stood then, her satin dress flowing and exposing a leg as she walked down the steps to him, “Is this what you wanted?” She twirled in front of him to show it all off, her hair getting stuck in her lipstick and making her laugh.

“I love you,” is all he can say as she leaning in with a wide grin, surpassing the smile to kiss him gently, using her thumb to get all the lipstick off his bottom lip and chin.

“Love you too, cutie,” she winked, taking his hand and turning back towards Amoreena, “listen to Nanny, remember we love you and we will see you no earlier than 7:30 tomorrow, okay?”

“Yes ma’am!” She saluted, mouth full of pizza.

“And what are the new rules about coming into our bed in the morning?”

“Knock first, wait till you respond, don’t come in unless you say it’s okay,” Amoreena replied, sticking her tongue out at her as she remembered it all.

“Smartie pants,” Y/N smiled at her, “come give us a hug, don’t get pizza on my dress, please.”

Amoreena wiped her sleeve over her mouth before running into her mother's open arms, they shared goodbye kisses before it was Spencer’s turn. She held him so tight it felt wonderful, “goodnight Lovey, I’ll see you tomorrow morning, have the best sleep ever for me?”

“I’ll see you in dreamland,” she replied, kissing his cheek gently before she pulled back.

“Have fun!” Nanny called from the porch as Amoreena skipped back to her.

“We will,” Spencer replied, taking Y/N’s hand and leading her to the passenger side, he opened her door and helped her inside, insuring her dress was inside before closing the door.

Jogging back to his door, he got in and put on his seatbelt. He threw the car in reverse and turned around by the barn, heading down the driveway, not saying a single thing as Y/N stared at him.

“You’re really not going to tell me anything?” She shook her head, licking her lip before biting it as she huffed.

“We’re going to Richmond, Virginia, to read,” he gave her one hint.

“Hmm,” she smiled, “I’m sure you won't tell me the title, so Mr. I can remember every book ever, what’s a random line in it?”

“You’re smart,” he teased her, “but for the brilliant green of the huge leaves that spread from their summits in long, tremulous lines, dallying with the Zephyrs—”

“We’re going to the Edgar Allan Poe Museum!” She cut him off with a cheer.

He slows down on the barren dirt road, mouth wide open as she got it right, he turns to her as they come to a complete stop, “how the heck did you get that?”

“Yes!” she laughed, tossing her head back as she clapped and kicked her feet a little, so proud of herself, “I’m a librarian, Spencer! Did you think I wouldn’t know Eleonora?”

“That’s the most random sentence in the whole poem?” Spencer was shocked, she recalled it faster than he thought he would be able to if she read a line to him.

“My brother’s first motorcycle was a Zephyr,” she smiled at him, raising her eyebrows. “My brain is kinda like a filing cabinet, if you give me a word I can remember everything I’ve ever heard with that word included.”

He started to drive again, shaking his head as he paid attention to the road but still astounded by how amazing she is. “Amoreena gets that from you then, she could have both our eidetic memories together, that would be very interesting to see.”

“Eidetic memory?” She questioned.

“It’s what most people call photographic memory,” Spencer explained. “You can remember everything you hear which is why you and Amoreena are able to recall songs, books and movie facts so fast, while I can read back to you anything I’ve read without having to see it again, it’s forever in my mind.”

“So we’re both geniuses, cool,” Y/N smiled at him again, “sorry I ruined your surprise.”

“You just know where we’re going,” he reminded her, laying his hand on hers, interlocking their fingers as he drove.

They had an hour alone before the real date started.

So she showed him all of her favourite songs, including some of Amoreena’s playlists so he could get familiar with them before their trip to Rhode Island. Her voice was impeccable, she knew all the words and harmonies, often opting to cove background voices he wouldn’t have even known were there if it wasn’t for her.

She loved music in a way that intrigued him, she enjoyed music with a story. Much like the reason she loved books so much, she enjoyed picturing the happy places in her mind that the songs were able to take her to, they filled her with glee and hope as she sang to her heart's content. Taking short breaks to explain the meanings of songs, to recite the best lyrics and why the songs are close to her heart.

“Do you want to hear the song that reminds me the most of you?” She asked between songs, pausing so that nothing else would start.

“Sure,” he blushed, nervous for what it could be and how she imagined him in her mind, hoping he could live up to it.

“I'm perfectly fine I live on my own, I made up on my mind, I'm better off bein' alone. We met a few weeks ago, now you try on callin' me, baby, like tryin' on clothes,”

She stares at him with a beautiful smile as she waits to see his reaction to the opening, finally singing when the beat drops, dancing softly in her seat as she belted the words out to him.

“So prove to me I'm your American Queen, and you move to me like I'm a Motown beat, and we rule the kingdom inside my room,” She brushed her hand across his jaw, teasing him as the words flow from her lips to his ears, she loves him and he can feel it with every syllable.

“And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for, King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa! And all at once, you are all I want, I'll never let you go King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa,” she sings so softly, with a purpose, turning it down a little so that he can talk to her.

“I love you,” he reminded her, “so much it hurts sometimes.”

“It’s like your heartstrings are tugging on each other, right?” She agreed, “like they want to jump out of our chests and run to each other.”

He nodded with a soft smile, reaching for her hand again holding it as he brought it to his mouth for a kiss, “queen of my heart.”

“Hmmm,” she thought over his words, “I’m pretty content with being princess still, Lady Amoreena is in line for the thrown, it’s part of her namesake after all.”

“Does the kingdom have a name?”

“You know the Elton John song Goodbye Yellow Brick Road?” She waited for his nod, “my grandma called it Ozellous so it’s like wizard of Oz but I added the 'ellous' because people always said they were jealous of our farm.”

He’s trying his best to keep his eyes on the road when all he want’s to do is look at her smile, to see her pupil change as she recalls the loving memory, it’s his favourite thing to do. Better than any movie or play, seeing her face was better than looking at the most expensive art piece. He was so in love with all of her.

“Were you like Amoreena as a kid?”

“Oh yeah,” she laughed, “bullied hardcore for it too, kids always told me to shut up cause I’d add facts to conversations I wasn’t a part of.”

“I would have loved to listen,” Spencer replied softly, knowing the feeling all too well.

They were only a few minutes away now, turning into the small town and passing quaint little homes and cottages. “Amoreena would love this drive, these are some interesting townspeople homes for her imagination, we should come back sometime this summer.”

His heart was going to actually explode, she was everything he never knew he needed.

“I’d love that,” he added as they pulled into the museum. “I’m a museum member and I’m a patron, so sometimes I donate rare pieces I find, they love me here.”

Her mouth opened to speak, but her eyes got caught on the twinkling lights in the distance, mesmerized by everything. Old cobblestone streets, brick buildings and wooden gates, it was straight out of the 1800s and absolutely fantastical.

“And it’s all ours for the night,” he put the car in park and turned to her, “wait here?”

She nodded, speechless as she continued to look out the window at everything. Spencer got out of the car, opening the back seat to grab and put on his jacket, straighten out his suit before opening her door and extending a hand to help her out.

“Princess,” he extended his arm for her to tuck her own under, he closed her door and escorted her through the gate and towards the garden.

The sun was just starting to set, 7 pm in early June being the most beautiful time of year in rural Virginia, the sky was a perfect purple as he leads her through the stone arches towards the picnic.

Her eyes sparkled with all the lights, wide and pupils blown as she took it all in. It was a fairytale, she was in a princess dress, he was the king of her heart and this was just the beginning of happily ever after.

“Spencer, whatever your middle name is, Reid,” she gasped, swatting his arm lightly with a smile growing on her face.

“It’s Walter,” he smiled right back.

He let go of her hand then and walked over to a table, turning on the record player and dropping the needle in the right spot. He did his research into some Taylor Swift songs, finding one that reminded him the most of Y/N and how much he loved her.

“May I have this dance?” He asks as she notices the all too familiar guitar strumming.

He reaches a hand out for her, pulling her in as she takes it, “I was so so lost before I found you in the park,” he explains the first verse, barely a whisper beside her ear as they start to sway.

There I was again tonight forcing laughter, faking smiles Same old tired, lonely place Walls of insincerity Shifting eyes and vacancy, vanished when I saw your face

“All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you,” he whispers once more, feeling the goosebumps bursting on her bare arms.

He spun her around, extending both their arms as she twirled out and then back into his embrace again with a giggle. She swayed back and forth, dancing with him like the night they got married in her field.

Your eyes whispered "have we met?" Across the room your silhouette starts to make it's way to me The playful conversation starts Counter all your quick remarks, like passing notes in secrecy

“And it was enchanting to meet you, All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you,” he sings them this time, spinning her out again as the chorus hits, her eyes widening as she began to smile wider than he’s ever seen before.

They sang the words together as they danced, smiling and laughing as they moved around the cobblestone. Finding a rhythm so perfect, so them, it was silly and not on beat in the slightest, mostly spinning, it was a spinning song if the album cover was any indication.

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you!

“The lingering question kept me up, Two a.m., who do you love? I wonder till I'm wide awake! Now I'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door, I'd open up and you would say, hey! It was enchanting to meet you, all I know is I was enchanted to meet you,” Y/N’s voice softer than ever as she sang her anxieties into his ear, remembering the day at the museum where she wondered if she could have him all to herself.

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home I'll spend forever wondering if you knew This night is flawless, don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you

Spinning around in circles she leaves his grasp, dress circling in the wind and he watches her. She takes both his hands and spins around with him in a tight circle before pulling back in, their chests bumping as they laughed, happier than he’s ever been in his entire life, and she’s made him pretty happy in the last few weeks.

The girl of his dreams, dancing around him with a smile like she was making her own music video. This was a dream of hers he didn’t know, making it come true as it became a dream of his own.

He places his hands on her cheeks as he stares into her eyes, “this is me praying that this was the very first page, not where the storyline ends. My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again. These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon, I was enchanted to meet you,” he whisper’s the words, barely singing, more talking.

“Please don't be in love with someone else. Please don't have somebody waiting on you. Please don't be in love with someone else. Please don't have somebody waiting on you,” she sings right back to him, staring into his eyes as they stand still in the garden.

She pulls him into a kiss, breathing in deeply through her nose as they hold each other’s cheeks, unable to get closer as they kissed. Pulling away with a loud smooch sound, smiling before taking her hands in his, once more.

Spinning her around again as the beat drops once more, her smile more beautiful than the first time he saw it. He was so madly in love, he firmly believed he was in heaven.

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home I'll spend forever wondering if you knew!!

This night is flawless, don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you!

Please don't be in love with someone else Please don't have somebody waiting on you

“Now go stand in the corner and think about what you did,” Taylor Swift's voice cuts into the beautiful moment as her songs change and the mood drastically changes.

Y/N bursts out in laughter, jumping lightly as she enjoyed the song, head-banging along as she danced by herself until Spencer turned the music off once again, “you’re so cute.”

“Thank you,” she bowed, “this is cute!”

“There’s a picnic basket in the fridge inside, and some wine if you think that’s a good idea?” Pointing towards the main house, she followed him towards the door.

“Oh, hello?” Her voice changed as she noticed the two black cats on the window, letting Spencer head inside for the basket as she talked to them.

“That’s Edgar and Pluto, the groundskeeper found them in the shed in 2012,” Spencer explains as he comes back out, basket in hand but she’s too busy with the cats to notice.

Petting both their faces, they stretch into her reach and bask in the feeling of her nails on their skin, Spencer would agree it felt nice. He loved the feeling of her hands in his hair, he must have been a cat in his last life.

“Amoreena wants her own indoor cat,” Y/N smiled wide at him, “she always wanted to call him Hercules like the Elton John song, almost like she knew you were her dad all along.”

She took his free hand then, following him towards the blanket in the grass, “how?”

“There’s a line in the song about Greek gods, but it says Hercules on her side and Diana in her eyes, and she does have your mom's eyes, right down to the colour of her iris,” Y/N looked at him like he was everything to her.

Spencer couldn’t speak, he just set the basket on the ground and ushered her to sit down beside him. She held the skirt of her dress up so she could sit crisscross applesauce on the blanket, draping her dress over her legs so she didn’t show anything off just yet.

“Every time I look at you I understand all her quirks and her facial expressions,” she added like she was trying to make him cry, “I’ve been looking at her for almost 8 years now, wondering who you were and now I know, and you’re so much better than I ever imagined.”

“Would you have looked for me when she turned 18?” Is all he can ask through his sniffles, trying to hold it together for her.

She nodded, “I was going to tell her soon anyway, she asks a lot of questions I’m not sure if you noticed.” Her giggle was priceless, “she had lots of questions when the goats were born this year and that meant her asking more about making human babies and I just said a special man helped me make my dreams come true, and she thought it was Rumpelstiltskin.”

Spencer couldn’t fight the laugh that erupted from him, leaning forward as he chuckled, making her laugh too. “Does she even know the whole story?”

“She’s only seen the 4th Shrek movie with him, she has no idea that he also takes the babies,” Y/N placed her hand on his knee gently, “If I get pregnant again, I’m going to tell her about how it all works as simply as possible, I want her to feel included in this and she’ll be less jealous if she sees this as a learning opportunity.”

“That’s a good idea,” he agreed, “I still can't believe she almost punched Michael for hugging me.”

“Oh, I can,” Y/N laughed again, “she was being bullied last year by an older kid and I said if someone upsets you or hurts you, sometimes it’s not that bad to hurt them back. Make them know you’re not weak and you care about yourself, and she gave a kid a black eye for tugging on her braid.”

Spencer couldn’t stop smiling, “that’s my girl.”

Y/N opened the picnic basket then, taking everything out with a smile as Spencer stared at her, thinking a million different thoughts about future kids, how Amoreena would grow up, seeing her as a big sister to hopefully many.

They both leaned forward and kissed softly, smiling as they pulled back, “so you like charcuterie?”

She laughed, “Amoreena called it shark coochie once, I can’t not think of that now.”

“How many kids do you want?”

“Have you ever read cheaper by the dozen?” She teased him. “As many as I can have, I have the funds thanks to my job and the farm and not having to pay a mortgage, I was going to have another baby next year anyway, I had an appointment and everything scheduled, I even tried to get them to contact Amoreena’s father for another sample but they said they couldn’t ask you outright for me.”

“They asked me if I wanted to give another sample when I asked if I could know my kids,” Spencer remembered the words exactly, “she said ‘You have four offspring so far, none of the other samples used have produced a child, the women were all IVF as well so it wasn’t your swimmer's fault if you wanted to donate again.’”

“I don’t want to know the truth, are you okay if we let her decide if she wants to find out at 18?” Y/N asked softly, “I’m content thinking you’re her father, I don’t want to know if it’s some other tall who-lookin’ genius, okay?”

“That’s perfect actually,” Spencer agreed, “and on the kids front, you don’t mind me being in my 70s when they all start going to University?”

“My dad is 68 with no signs of stopping, and he’s still fantastic with his grandkids,” Y/N always had a fact to combat his anxiety. “You have a lot of life left in you, I’ll take good care of you so that they have the best dad ever for as long as possible.”

Spencer was so in love with his family he felt like he was floating, laughing and smiling all meal long as they shared facts back and forth about their lives. Getting to know each other more and more as the seconds passed, he imagined it would be like this forever. She was like a bottomless pit of information, facts, stories and secrets. He loved every single one she shared with him.

She poured herself a second small glass of wine, “you know they say that one glass of wine every once in a while is actually good for the baby?”

“It doesn’t work that fast,” he reminded her, more like he reminded himself. He didn’t want to hope in the chance it didn’t happen right away.

“I had a nightmare last night for the first time in a long time, so I think it worked,” she teased him. “I won't know till June 10th, that's when my next period would be.”

“Nightmare?” It was the only part he picked up on, worried for her and wondering why she didn’t wake him up.

She nodded softly, “I found out I was pregnant and you never came home, and I got lost in the forest looking for you and then I remembered I could wake up.”

He rests his hand on her knee, rubbing his thumb against her bare skin softly, “I’m always coming home to you.”

“I know, when I got pregnant with Amoreena I had bad dreams in the first few weeks too, mostly about giving birth to nothing and being alone all over again, the subconscious and pregnancy hormones are mean as fuck when they hang out,” she laughed away the pain, “I know none of it is real.”

“Good,” he whispered, not knowing what really to say, he wasn’t used to soothing other people yet. Most people didn’t want his facts or concernment when something happened, just a hug normally.

She took a deep breath, pushing everything away, “good news, either my anxiety disorder is back in full swing or something’s working in here,” she laid her hand over her stomach, “either way, I’d like to try again tonight?”

He laughed, “we don’t need to make a baby every time you want to have sex?”

She got onto her knees then, crawling over the blanket and sitting right in Spencer's lap with her hands on both of his cheeks, “I want all your babies.”

He held her waist, pulling her in closer to his chest, “right now?”

She nodded, moving her dress out of the way to undo his belt, “no one is here right? It’s not like anyone would know?”

“Mhmm,” he agreed, kissing her neck as she unzipped his pants, moving his underwear out of the way just enough to free his hardening cock, she stroked it right there in the middle of the garden, staring down between their bodies in awe as he came to life.

Sitting up on her knees more, the slit of her dress made it a lot easier for her to show him her underwear. She was wearing just a thong, perfect for pulling to the side as she lowered herself onto him, ever so slowly.

She fixed her dress around them, completely calm and composed as he was fully inside of her, “you’re okay with this?”

He huffed a laugh out of his nose, dropping his forehead to her shoulder so he couldn’t buck into her and ruin the moment she was making, his hands moving to her hips, guiding her back and off him slightly before back down again, making her gasp.

“I thought you wanted to read?” She teased him as she started to ride him more, moving her hips in a way that took him in and out of her at just the right angle, her hands on his shoulders as she bounced on him lightly, he couldn’t even think straight. “Go on, read to me.”

He took a second to remember the words, mind totally somewhere else and not interested in a book at all when her boobs were right in his face.

“I am come of a race noted for vigor of fancy and ardor of passion,” the first sentence slipped past his lips as she kept going, he took a moment to kiss right under her ear before continuing.

“Men have called me mad; but the question is not yet settled, whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence—whether much that is glorious—whether all that is profound—does not spring from disease of thought—from moods of mind exalted at the expense of the general intellect.”

“Shit,” she moaned, pushing his hand down towards her clit, “you can multitask, smartie pants.”

His thumb was on a mission then, rubbing small circles against her pleasure point, she tossed her head back with her eyes closed as she continued to ride him, “I don’t hear you reading?”

He moaned softly in her ear at the feeling, and the fact she wanted to get off to hearing him recite something from memory, it was more euphoric than he could have ever imagined.

“They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. In their gray visions they obtain glimpses of eternity, and thrill, in ah- awakening, fuck,” he was trying his best to stay as composed as she was when he really just wanted to lay her against the blanket and fuck her into next week.

“to find that they have been upon the verge of the great secret,” Y/N whispered the end of the sentence, grinding down on him harder than before.

“In snatches, they learn something of the wisdom which is of good,” she whispered into his ear, biting his earlobe softly with a moan and he kept rubbing her clit, “you’re so good, Spencer, so so good," she paused to enjoy the moment before whispering in his ear once more, "And more of the mere knowledge which is of evil. They penetrate, however, rudderless or compass-less into the vast ocean of the "light ineffable," and again, like the adventures of the Nubian geographer, "agressi sunt mare tenebrarum, quid in eo esset exploraturi.”

Her words softer than ever and they were never going to get to the end of this poem, he'd never know how the rest of the words sound on her tongue, she pulled him into a kiss then, moaning into his mouth as they ground against each other, finding a perfect rhythm to bring them to the end.

“There, yes, fuck,” she whispered against his lips, pushing against him as she arched her back slightly, slipping away from his mouth as she did so.

He slammed into her then as he chased her lips, making her whimper one last time before she was shaking in his lap, her legs quivering as she finished on him, sending him over the edge and stilling as he came with a shudder. He held her so close, both of them breathing into each other's mouths as they came down, kissing and smiling as they stayed connected.

“We’ll name her Eleonora,” Y/N teased, pulling off him and laying back against the blanket.

He made sure her underwear was back in the right spot before covering her with her dress again and sliding himself back into his underwear.

“Amoreena and Eleonora have a good ring to it, we just need 10 more names,” he teased right back.

“Hopefully we have a little boy one day too,” she smiled as she tugged him down beside her, cuddling into her side as they stared up at the newly dark blue sky and the array of stars that decided to join them this evening.

“Even if it’s just Amoreena, I’ve never been happier in my whole life than when I’m with you,” he whispered. “Thank you.”

“For what?” She asked, purely to keep hearing his voice.

“Making me want to get up in the morning again, giving me a reason not to buy drugs for something euphoric to happen to me, showing me real love and proof that happiness is possible if you just chose to be happy,” he gave example after example.

“I thought I learned everything the world had to offer, but you’ve been showing me new little life hacks that make the world so much better, I see a future of bright colours and happiness and laughter for the first time ever, so thank you.”

She held him closer, “it’s been a pleasure falling in love with you, together, you deserve to love yourself. You’re so wonderful Spencer, it breaks my heart to know that anyone has ever made you feel the opposite.”

He couldn’t speak anymore, turning to kiss her neck and cheek so he had something to do that wasn’t crying. He loved her so incredibly deeply that he felt like he was an anchor, dropping to the bottom of her deepest ocean, without a single plan to leave.

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #amoreena

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voxmortuus · 4 years ago

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The Thrill | Chapter 1 - Death

Paul Spector | Paul Spector x brief F!Reader Introduction

The Fall

TW: Language, Violence, Murder, Blood

GIF created by @docorwho

Panting looking over his actions, his current choices, looking over all that had happened that had unfolded, it hit him like a ton of bricks, but at the same time it didn't phase him, but he knew the longer he stayed the more chances he risked. He did his research, he always did his research, there wasn't a shadow of a doubt that he was right. No one lived with her. He ran his bloodied gloved hand through his hair and shook his head. He stood back, thinking, playing it over again in his head.

Roughly two hours ago he snuck into the flat, closing the window behind him, sneaking carefully across the wood floor, his boots heavy but not quite heavy enough to make the floor creak. His mask covering his breathing, his breath light, and making sure he was quiet. He placed his backpack on the floor behind the floor-length curtain. Turning off the lights and heading into her room she closed the door slightly and crawled into bed.

It was five minutes before she started to drift to sleep. Quickly and quietly he made his way into her room, and stood in the dark shadows of the room, watching her briefly before making his way over to her. Hovering over her a moment he straddled her the weight and pressure on her body jolted her awake and she went to scream. He put his finger to his masked face and covered her mouth with his hand quickly. Shaking his head as she tried to struggle. His eyes narrowed on her as she tried to reach for his face but it wasn't exactly going as she planned.

His hand went from her mouth to both around her neck, squeezing harder and harder as she thrashed about trying to gasp for air, trying to claw and scratch at him to get him to stop, trying to yell but to no avail he wasn't budging. She hoped that maybe he would have to readjust but that wasn't happening. Paul's face was calm, yet showed his pent-up anger. Before the last few moments of her breathing life, he stripped off his ski mask so she could see his face. Her hand went to touch his face but he backed away and she started to gurgle and gasp for air again before his hands went back around her throat, squeezing the life out of her.

The light left her eyes as she let out a soft breath and fell limp. He didn't move, he kept squeezing, harder and harder, feeling a pop in the neck, feeling her body weightless, the smell of her defecating herself hit his nose, he knew she was dead. There was a sound that caught his attention. His head turned quickly to the door hearing someone climb the stairs. He jolted out the door quickly to his backpack undoing it quietly he grabbed a ball-peen hammer and gripped it tightly in his hand. He watched as this man came up the stairs. He made his way to the room and the smell hit him.

The man pulled out his phone making his way to the deceased on the bed and went to dial 999 but he didn't the chance. Before he knew it he felt a thud against the back of his head. He dropped his phone and went to turn to swing at Paul. With a grunt and another swing, Paul forced the hammer against the side of his head with a thud, but it didn't stop there. The man tried to fight back, but he kept swinging and pushed him down the stairs where the man tumbled and rolled down on the foot of the stairs moaning and groaning. Paul slowly walked down. He didn't utter a word, he didn't want any trace of his voice being heard.

Swinging at the back of this man's head, bash after bash, after bash, blood and bits of skull and brain matter started flinging with the hammer, but he kept going, the back of his head like minced meat he took the hammer to the base of his neck, that little knob below the head and above the neck and popped that with the hammer, and blood went everywhere. He was splattered with it across his face. With the back of his gloved hand, he wiped his face smearing the blood a bit. He let out a breath as he got off the man and sat on the steps a moment.

And now we're back to where we started. How did he not know that the man was coming? Who was he? He reached down and grabbed the man's wallet. Different last name, not related. A boyfriend perhaps? Looking at his hands he didn't see a wedding ring. Looking closely he saw where one should be, and he shook his head. Putting the wallet back he walked back up the steps and made his way outside taking the covering off his boots and started to walk down the road sticking his gloves in his pockets.

He decided to take back allies, he didn't want to be on the main road. His breathing was sparse, heavy. He stopped a moment, standing there, the air was thick, ready for rain. Sally and the kids were with her mum, he had no one to go home to. He knelt down in the middle of the alleyway and started to cry a moment, his hands gripping at his head as he bent over and let out a heavy scream. You were sitting in a window and you had watched him leave the house and you looked at him.

"Aye Mister, you look like you could use some company. Take the escape up. Have yourself a cup of tea." You flicked your cigarette and went inside.

He looked up at the window, arching a brow, he looked over you and made his way up the metal fire escape and climbed into your window and looked around, it was cozy. "Thank you..." He stated.

Pointing to the bathroom you nodded. "Clean yourself up, ya'got blood on ya. You can wear brothers clothes, should fit you. He won't be needin' em." you stated as you poured him a cup of tea.

Looking at you. "Why are you helping me... aren't you scared?"

"I'm scared every day. Strangers stopped scarin me." You state. "Clean up, and let me help you." You state looking at him. Your words made him think, looking at you he let out a soft breath. He contemplating murdering you right there, but a part of him knew you weren't going to do anything. You were offering to help him. He watched your every move while he cleaned up, even changed in front of you, and you licked your lips and flushed a small bit. Maybe this won't be so bad he thought to himself.

Tagging: @luciferslittleastre

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leelee10898 · 6 years ago

Text

Fast cars & Freedom: who do you love? (11/?)

Ok.. it took me longer to get this done than I liked but here it is... A second paternity test, and the guys lay it on thr table. What will Ellie do now? Catch up HERE, also if you would like to be added to the tags, drop a line.

Pairings: Logan x Ellie, Colt x Ellie

Raiting: Mature. Ccontains nsfw situations.

“Seriously, you're fucking with me right?” Ellie snapped. “I wish I was Ellie, but we have to retest.” Logan sighed. “Shit, my phone. I need to go get my phone.” she shot up running for the door. Of course something like this would happen, that was just her luck. Her thoughts now on Colt, who she was sure was flipping out. She got to her purse grabbing her phone. 17 missed calls she thought, all from Colt, except 1 that was the Drs office. As if on cue her phone started buzzing in her hand. It was Colt.

E: Colt? Whats going on?

C: Where the hell have you been ellie? I've been calling you non stop.

E: we're at the track with Logan.

C: Did you get the call from the Dr? He says we can be re tested today but we have to be there by 4.

Ellie looks down at her phone

E: 4? Its 3:30 Colt. And that's all the way across town in traffic. How are we supposed to get there by then?

C: Looks like you or Logan are going to have to channel your criminal driving. I'm on my way to the office, I'll see you there.

Logan and Stacie ran up, her dad, sally and Luca joining them. “Whats going on?” Logan questioned. “That was Colt. The Doctor said we can be re tested today, but we have to be there by 4.” Logans eyes went wide as he took note of the time. “I can get us there.” Logan stated confidently “lets go.”

Ellie asked Stacie to take her car and meet them at the office, her dad and Sallie heading home. Ellie hooked Lucas car seat in Logan's car quickly and they set out for the office. 20 minutes to go, the panic starting to set in.

Logan grabbed her hand, trying to calm her down. “You ok back there Luca?” he shouted back checking on Luca.

“This is fun!” Luca squealed, Ellie shook her head, Logan just chuckled. She definitely had speed in her blood, that's for sure.

They pulled up to the office with five minutes to spare. Colt stood next to his bike. “I was afraid you weren't going to make it.” he gave Logan a cocky smirk. “Come on Kaneko, you know better than that.”

Ellie grabbed Luca from her car seat, she immediately ran to Colt throwing her arms out. “Hey princess, I missed you.” he wrapped her in a hug as he lifted her off the ground.

They walked into the building, being taken right into the back. Logan and Colt going first. Colt held Luca while they swabbed her mouth. The doctor told them they would be sending it off for testing right away, the new lab turnaround was 2 to 4 weeks for dna testing, however with the amount of labs that would be flooding in it could take longer.

They walked out of the office finding Stacie waiting for them with Ellies car. Luca was complaining she was hungry so they decided to get something to eat. Colt had a customer picking up a car who had a custom job done that he had to be there for, so Ellie said she would catch up with him later that week. Ellie dropped stacie off at work and headed to meet Logan at the restaurant. He already had a table waiting for them when they arrived.

After ordering and finally eating, Luca was content playing on Ellies phone. “Ellie I need to talk to you about something important.” She could sense the seriousness in his tone.

“Ok, but quietly please.” she nodded towards Luca.

“Ellie, i'm pretty sure you know how I feel about you. You were the first and only girl I ever loved. But being with you and luca these past few weeks, well it made me realize that I want a family. I'm ready to settle down.” She took a deep breath, she wasn't expecting that. “Logan” She let out a long sigh. “I dont think thats a good idea right now.”

“I know, with the divorce and all. But really Ellie, I'm not getting any younger. I'm willing to wait, but.” He hesitated. Ellie reached out giving his hand a squeeze “I understand Logan. I do not want you to put your life on pause because I'm indecisive. If someone comes along that you think could lead somewhere, see how it goes.”

Logan sat there contemplating her words. “Thanks Ellie.” he finally spoke.

After they paid for their meal, Ellie took Luca home. She walked through the front door holding her sleeping child. Her dad and sally were sitting on the couch watching a movie, laughing and enjoying each other. “Hey kiddo. Someone passed out huh?” Frank looked up from the tv screen. “Hey guys. Yep long day. I'm gonna put her in bed and crash myself. Back to work tomorrow.” She said goodnight, put Luca to bed and headed there herself.

She put on her pajamas, and climbed into bed. She thought of her dad and Sally sitting on the couch, just enjoying being with each other. Her dad was happy, it was written all over his face and it made her happy for him. She thought about what Logan said at dinner, he was ready to settle down, but was she? She was divorcing Colt, was it fair to jump into something with Logan? Did she want to be with Logan or did she want Colt? She wasn't sure what she wanted that much was obvious, the thought of settling down, expanding her family and spending the rest of her life with someone who loved her and treated her well was all she ever dreamed of. She closed her eyes trying to escape her thoughts, after tossing and turning for a few hours she finally fell asleep.

A a few days had gone by, she had just got off work when he phone rang, Darnells name flashed across the screen.

“Hello.” she answered. “Hey Ellie, its Darnell. I just wanted to let you know that Judge Mitchell scheduled a date for the hearing.” Ellies blood ran cold, it was one thing to file but another that it was actually happening. “oh, ok. Um when is it?

“The Thursday before labor day.” Ellie went silent, her heart pounding in her chest. “Thats. That's two weeks away.”

“Yes. She wanted to get it in before the holiday. It'll be done soon. Have a good weekend Ellie.”

“Yeah, you too Darrell.” Ellie hung up the phone, tears now falling. The Realization that Colt would be served soon hitting her like a ton of bricks. She calmed herself down enough to call her dad and make sure Luca was ok a little longer with him.

She started her car and made that all to familiar drive. She pulled up, trying her best to calm her nerves as she exited the car and walked through the open bay door.

“Were closed.” She heard a voice shout from under a car. “I'm not her for that.” she spoke, her voice carrying throughout the shop. Colt rolled out from under the car, standing up quickly. “Hey. What are you doing her? Is Luca ok?” he wiped his greasy hands off, tossing the rag down on a nearby table.

“She fine. I came because I need to tell you something.” Colt arched his brow “Those words are never good.”

“Darnell called, the divorce has been scheduled.” she watched the expression on Colts face change to curiosity to a mixture between hurt and anger. “When.” His tone colt and flat.

“Two weeks.” She looked to the floor. This was what she wanted, so why was it so damn hard to tell him?

“Two weeks?!” he shouted. He turned grabbing a tool and chucking it across the room. “Fuck!” He screamed, Ellie flinching. “I'm sorry Colt.” she squeaked out. His eyes widening as he turned to face her. “Oh you're sorry? You don't seem sorry to me Ellie. You didn't even give me a fucking chance. All I wanted was to be a family. You, me and Luca,” he ran his hands through his hair. “You just don't understand do you? I love you Ellie, I never stopped. Everything I did, was for you. The house, this garage, everything!”

“Colt I, I don't know what to say.” She was at a loss for words.

“I didn't want to be my dad. I wanted Luca to have both parents, together. Now that will never happen.”

“Colt, we don't know that she's yours.” She regretted saying as soon as it left her mouth. It was like adding salt to the wound.

“Shes mine. I know in my heart she's mine, and even if she wasn't..” He shook his head. “You know what. You can have it all, everything. The house, the garage, all the money. All I want in this life is to be able to take care of you, and Luca. And if you won't let me do it at your side, take everything.” he threw his hands up in the air, walking away.

“Colt.” she hollered after “Colt!” she followed him into to small apartment that used to be logan's loft. “I can't see you right now Ellie. I think we probably should keep our distance until i cool down.” Colt had his back to her. Hands splayed out on the counter, his breathing heavy. He was upset, very upset. “But the zoo, and Lucas first day of school.” She whimpered, holding back tears.

“I'll be there, I wouldn't miss that for her. I will be cordial to you. But I won't be ok with it, I never will.”

Ellie hung her head in defeat, walking down the steps and then to her car. Colts words ringing in her ears. She grasped the steering wheel with a white knuckle grip, the tears streaming down her cheeks. She knew telling him was going to be rough, but she wasn't expecting the overload of emotions that came with it. She thought back to the day they took the brotherhood down.

****

She walked up to her house, Colt had a loose end to tie up with Toby and ximena. The crew skipping town, laying low from the FBI. She crossed the front yard when Logan slid out of the shadows. “Logan? What are you doing here? I thought you left town.” her eyes darted around, assessing her surroundings. “I am, but I needed to see you first.” he came closer, closing the distance between them. “Look Ellie, I had every intention to apologize for dragging you into this. But now that I'm here, i'm not sorry.”

“You're not?” She looked at him confused.

“No,” He shook his head. “If I didn't seek you out, I would have never met you. And though I may not have been the guy for you, I couldn't live in a world where I never knew you. You changed my life for the better Ellie.” he softly brushed the bruises on her face.

Ellie threw her arms around him, burying her face in his chest. “I don't want you to go, please don't go.” she sniffled. “Believe me Ellie, I don't want to, but I have to. Go off to college, kick some ass. And remember I'll always be thinking of you.” She lifted her face, looking in his eyes. She pressed her lips against his, savoring the feeling one last time. “I hope this isn't goodbye forever. Promise me you'll stay safe.” she pulled back resting her head against his chest. “He pressed his lips to the top of her head. “I promise. Goodbye Ellie.” he took one last look at her before disappearing into the night.

She turned heading toward the house spotting colt standing there. “You kissed him.” He clenched his jaw. “You were spying on me? How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough. And no, I wasn't spying on you. I finished what I needed to and came back for you.”

Ellie hesitated at the door. Could she really give up everything she had worked for? Could she really skip out on her dream school for a life on the run with Colt?

“Colt. I don't think we should do this. We rushed into this, its crazy. We. We need to get an annulment.”

Colt stumbled back. “What? Ellie come on, We love each other.”

“I know, and i do love you Colt. I do but.”

“Its Logan isn't it? You wanted to be with him, I was a mistake.” he retorted.

“No. Colt that's not-”

“Save it Ellie. Go live your life, I'll get an annulment.” he climbed on his bike.

Ellie felt sick to her stomach, what did she do? She was scared, she didn't want to lose him. “colt.” she called after him, he put his helmet on kicking his bike to life. “Colt. Colt, come back. Please.” it was to late, she watched his tail lights fade out of view. She was alone, truly and completely alone.

*******

She pulled into the driveway of her house, she pulled her compact from her purse attempting to cover the evidence of her crying. She walked into the house to hear laughter. Frank, sally and Luca sat around the table eating ice cream, having a good time. “Hey guys.” She peaked her head into the room. “Hey kiddo. Everything ok.” She gave her dad a half hearted smile. “Yeah, everything's fine.”

“Will you give me a bath mommy? I'm all sticky.” Luca held her ice cream covered hands up. “Sure thing sweetpea.”

After bathing and getting Luca to bed, Ellie walked over to a box that was left unpacked. She pulled out a medium sized shoe box, removing the lid she pulled a few items out. A ticket stub from the drive in, a small cactus, a bullet necklace, some photos of the crew and the last two. A picture of Logan and her, taken after the pool game, the other of her and Colt at Prom. She laid the two in front of her, her eyes burning into the paper. What was she going to do?

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#choices ride or die: a bad boy romance #choices ride or die #ride or die bad boy romance #colt x ellie #colt kaneko #rod colt #rod logan #logan x ellie #fast cars and freedom rod au

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