#it will happen again 100% I am bad at social media I post something get scared of checking how it was recieved and don't look at my account

[catocappuccino]

A pointless tumblr post titled

"Assigning furby colours (specifically 1st gen) to Murder Drones characters without giving any explaination for my choices" part 1

Uzi - juicy grape

N - labrador

V - banana peel

J - bumblebee

Cyn - angel

🔥🔥🔥If you enjoyed this post leave a like and follow for more PEAK content like this🔥🔥🔥

/j

[concreteburialplot]

pretty sure you’re my fellow chase atlantic girlie that i’ve seen posted on my feed but if something chase atlantic x bad omens ever happened i. would. lose. my. mind. like i’m fully aware that noah would have fun posting things just because he likes to create chaos but someone on the bo tiktok account reposted cas’s video and it doesn’t mean anything but like,,, chase atlantic and bad omens are my bread and butter. and i mean they’re aware of each other just saying 🤠

and i’m sure if there ever was a collab someone somewhere would have smth negative to say but they could stfu because those are my angels. LIKE I’M SORRY can you imagine a chase atlantic feature on a song like bad decisions????

i need it. (at the same time i’m not ready for it)

YES! I AM HER! i am your fellow chase / omens girlie lmao

(just seeing their logos side by side like that makes me feel dizzy & makes my heart explode)

i actually hadn’t heard anything about the repost so thank you for bringing it to my attention! i just about lost my mind 🥲 my fav boys interacting ? 😭 my heart 😩 they are also my babies so get it 100% 🥺

(you didn’t ask for this but i’m offering it anyway 🥲)

so, couple things that come into play here that i think are interesting

warning: beyond this point will contain lengthy unnecessary, unasked for, unwarranted & disorganized reaching, theories, wishful delusional thinking & dissection. i am a swiftie at heart so it’s a reflex to look too much into cryptic behavior lol

+ rambling bc i’m a gemini who loves chase atlantic & rarely gets to talk about them to anyone so 🥲💔

i’m also aware that omens x chase fans are very niche & nobody actually cares what i have to say about this topic but whatever 🥲💔 i just need to get this out 🥲

1 - i have known for a while that at least noah knows about / is a fan of chase atlantic. i believe he liked a tweet about them a while ago, when chase was doing a livestream i think? & he’s posted about them before, example here:

whether or not chase knows about bad omens i’m not sure but they probably do now at least

2 - Omens & Chase are under the same management company! They’re both under MDDN, so they’re at least in the same circles

3 - as much as i’d KILLLLL to hear chase feature on bad decisions i unfortunately don’t think noah would be down for it (i think he’s stated before he’s not open to features on bad omens’ discography ?? but i could be mistaken) - so the more likely scenario in the realm of (unrealistic) features would be noah featuring on a chase song

4 - the Bad Omens official tiktok account has only reposted 6 videos total, besides cas’ & the other 5 were specifically about the band - with how they handle their social media i find it interesting that they’d do that

also

obviously Kras is in CA so them reposting it isn’t out of the ordinary BUT both band accounts reposted the same day (even tho the video itself was posted 6 days ago, they both reposted the next day) - again just interesting

5 - the audio on the tiktok was mamacita so that begs the question that if there WERE to be a collab … would it be noah featuring on mamacita …………. bc the thought of that …. makes my head spin 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 (we also been knew that noah’s music taste is vast, so him being interested in / open to featuring on a different genre track, especially of a band he likes, isn’t THAT crazy to imagine)

6 - however the caption cas’ tiktok was something like “christian said that if you use this filter he’ll show you his verse on mamacita” so that could mean a couple things IF a collab is being teased

a - it’s not actually kras’ verse it’s noah’s

b - kras’ verse could be first & noah’s 2nd (😵‍💫)

c - they’re hinting at a feature on another song on chase’s upcoming album

d - there is no collab & i’m a clown for believing that there could be (it’s this one)

7 - we know chase is open to having features from different genres & are pretty lax about who they work with (& lax in general)

8 - i’m unsure how well the collab would be received - i think noah featuring on chase would go over significantly better than the other way around but still idk - chase’ fanbase seems a lot more chill than omens

REGARDLESS i fear for chase if they collab bc [a lot of] bad omens fans are mean, judgy & ruthless especially about artists outside of metal/metalcore. chase’s fandom is fairly chill (in my experience) & unfortunately i honestly think any interaction with bad omens would bring a lot of unnecessary drama & hate to them :///// and i can smell the “bad omens is selling out” accusations from here

9 - again i think the repost was really interesting & unusual for their normal social media activity/strategy & so the fact that it’s so out of the ordinary + subtle + sneaky ON TOP OF ALLL of those other factors ^ has got me extremely intrigued

10 - that all being said ……. unfortunately as you touched on, Noah is a troll at heart, so he could very well just be causing mischief - for what reason, nobody knows - also choosing that tiktok was so random ?? so ?? [especially since it was cas’ tiktok, not chase or even their members??]

i’m interested to see if there’s any other sneaky interactions between them moving forward - noah loves taylor swift so he may be taking a page or 2 from her book & starting to get more cryptic as their fanbase expands ?? lol

seeing kras on the same page of an omens official account really made me feel crazy. that is something i never ever thought i’d see, thought i was hallucinating lol (i love them so much 🥹)

i am slightly hopeful but also ready to be disappointed lol

am i a fool for underestimating noah sebastian’s troll behavior? probably

has he trolled me before? yes

will i have too much faith in him to not troll me again after this? yeah :/

regardless,

anyway sorry this is ridiculously long for no reason & nobody actually cares about my insane hypothesizing 🥲 if anyone got this far, you’re a trooper & i’m giving you a star

i was just really really really excited about this bc i love them both so much & nobody else cares & it made me really sad but it’s fine 🥲🥲💔💔

[guvato]

Tamalog Day 7

Now that i think about it, weekends are probably gonna be the least eventful days, since they are days where i don't get out of the house and i usually sleep till very very late into the day. Today we started the day at 7AM as per usual, and i decided that for the sake of this being as accurate as i can make it, i won't do anything big during the morning, just call the sitters and start the day properly when i wake up, that being said, i played about 5 matches of 'Fast Food' on the Uni, fed Picochutchi the last of her sumo style hot pots, after that we did some Tama Searching and made pretty big progress with some Tamas, but we didn't meet any new Tama. After that, i called the Sitter for Picochutchi and switched my attention to Himetchi, who was a little hungry, so we went to the restaurant and got some cereal for her breakfest, with her happiness pretty high and her hunger satiated, i decided to cook something, took a picture of my half-eaten hamburguer and my AA Batteries, and boom, we made some Canéle. After that i just called the Sitter for Himetchi and went on to wake up Milktchi, which took a while, i am honestly not an expert on waking up my Smart Tama, but that doesn't matter, what matters is that Milktchi decided to introduce me to her Boyfriend, which was quite the shock for me, but i can't say i was that much surprised either, as i knew this would happen someday. Then, i gave her my blessing to go start a life with her new love, and after the marriage animation, i was left tired wanting to go to sleep but with a baby boy in my hands, and i did what any sane human being would do and stayed awake as much as possible to take care of the kid.

Waking up at 5PM, i immediatly went to take care of the new baby, he had evolved to Mofuwatchi and was feeling a little sick and pooped quite a lot but wasn't too hungry as i kept his baby stage as fed as possible. We are going for Kuchipachi this time, so i don't know how many care mistakes we got right now but i worry a bit that we might be at least at 3 Care Mistakes, and we need four so... yeah, i hope we can get Kuchipachi with just one more Care Mistake. After taking care of Mofuwatchi, i picked up both Himetchi and Picochutchi from their Sitters, since Himetchi was feeling great, i just went and did the Daily Prize Draw, which she got 1st place once again and we got extra 200Gs. Turning my attention to Picochutchi, she was also feeling great, so we went to the TamaVerse play our daily match at the Tama Arena, and i was feeling confident that we'd get great results, BUT, our adversaries were also masters at surfing, and due to Picochutchi only getting caught in one flag that was kinda behind her, she got 3rd place by a few meters, great performance by her, but sadly, the other contestants did it better.

When evening came, i fed Mofuwatchi some Onigiri, Picochutchi had some Samgye-Tang soup and Himetchi went to the Restaurant and got some Gratin. After Dinner Himetchi asked me to play a bit at home, so we played some Matching game, which we did good, and i gave her some pets as a reward, Picochutchi wasn't feeling 100% after dinner so i had to go with her to the Arcade to get that Happiness meter to 100%. Mofuwatchi received some pets as well but i think i need to be just a little bit neglective just for the evolution (and i will feel really bad for neglecting any Tama any time i do it, trust me, i feel awful.) Picochutchi posted about her surfing on Social Media and it is good to know that even though she didn't thrive and got first place, she had fun, and that is all that matters to me.

Nothing much of interest happened the rest of the night, Mofuwatchi went to sleep at 8PM along with Himetchi, so all i had left to do was keep an eye on Picochutchi in case she needed something, and she just wanted to play for a bit, which we did, got some money and then i left her to do whenever she usually does. And before i knew it, our 7th Tama Day had ended. One whole week, i can say that i am impressed with myself as much as i am having fun doing this. We also had our first goodbye, which is always bittersweet to me as i really love and care for these Tamas, it seems dumb and silly for other people, but it matters to me.

[poeta-nascitur-non-fit]

6/26/2024, pt II

I've been reminiscing quite a bit about where I was in my life in 2009, 2015 and 2020. Youth. Youth would be overrated if not for the fact that you can collect a lot of interesting memories and stories from that time period. Having a vivid and nearly perfect photographic long term memory makes all of that feel like it was just yesterday, too. He always tells me that "nostalgia is a liar," and while I get where he's coming from, I don't think that's always true, that nostalgia doesn't mean much at the end of the day, because it's something we only idealize in retrospect but lose sight of the whole picture, only seeing the good and repressing the bad.

He also tells me that those good memories and special moments were less about the other people involved and more about the good energy I put into making those things happen. I don't know, I don't think all of those experiences were entirely me. Despite how much he hates on my exes for being shitty people, he just couldn't possibly know the whole story, why those experiences happened with the people they happened with, because he has never met them, and he is not me. Some of those people did end up being shitty people in the end, but people are complicated, and they weren't always shitty. Am I supposed to just write all of that off entirely? That's what he would prefer, I think. Jealousy strikes once again.

Reading through his blog and seeing him revisiting memories of some of this exes and writing about looking them up on social media makes his stance fairly ironic. Granted, those posts were written years ago, but I really do think that it's just an innate thing for people to be nostalgic from time to time, and if only I were in his head, I bet I could say with almost 100% certainty that he still gets nostalgic even now, too. And... there's really nothing wrong with that.

I *do* understand his BPD jealousy, of course, because I also have BPD, and years ago when I had no idea how to cope with it at all, my jealousy nearly drove me insane. Speaking for myself, I am glad I eventually learned how to be rational and work through all of that. I *had* to learn how to cope, because otherwise, I would've become one of those 1 out of 10 BPD casualties.

Anyway, I'm kind of burying the lede...

It's probably time for me to revisit old photographs, old writing, old blogs. Some of my most creative pieces came from those years. I don't know how feasible it is, but I would love to tap into that nostalgia and bring it up to date with who I am now, so to speak. I want to find myself again. What drove me then? And how can I recapture it? Can I build on that for something even better now? Where would I start?

Too tired to delve into all of that this morning.

It stormed before sunup. I laid in bed, window open, nodding off on Vicodin, listening to the pouring rain and the wind whipping through the trees. Few things are as relaxing as a summer downpour. Vicodin itself is one of the exceptions, though.

Time for sleep.

[sonicenvy]

On Tumblr, disinformation, and learning how the fuck to evaluate sources so you don't share false information

So. Many. People. on this site uncritically reblog disinformation/fakenews/misinformation/reality denying posts/etc., which really hurts now, since we should all know at this point that there are bad actors using social media to deliberately spread false information for their own ends. This is something that frustrates me deeply as an IS professional and as a regular, generally educated human. You don't need to help psyops or hate groups by spreading their misinformation friends. It's hard to tell what the truth is sometimes, I get that, especially in today's climate where right-wing bad actors have done their damnedest to muddy the waters of truth in harmful ways, and where information is basically laser beaming itself onto your eyeballs at a dizzingy speed with the power of the internet.

I'll admit to you right now that I fell for (and shared) some misinformation from the psyop blogs in 2016, so I am by no means saying that I'm some kind of perfect paragon on this point. But Jesus Christ people we are all (hopefully) very aware of the psyops now. Like that happened. We KNOW that there are bad actors spreading disinformation on this webbed site (and many others) and it's only going to get worse the closer we get to November. The 2016 psyops btw, were the subject of an 85 page report as part of the 5 part report on Russian interference in the 2016 election from the selective intelligence committee in the US senate. We also know that the Russian IRA is using psyop campaigns to target Ukraine/Ukrainians. This was and is a very real threat to democracy, truth, progress, and marginalized people everywhere.

Three topics that are hot for disinformation/false news/and misinformation on this site (and others) are the upcoming 2024 presidential elections, I/P, and Russia/Ukraine. These are 3 topics that you should be very discerning about your sources on, as there is copious false information being spread like wildfire across social media about these three topics, to the benefit of a wide range of governments, companies, and special interests from many groups along the political spectrum. Something, something, you are not immune to propaganda.

But the thing is, you have the power to help stop the spread of stupid misinformation and lies on this site (and others)! By checking sources on an issue post BEFORE you share it, you can stop fake information from spreading. You can further help by telling your friends, blocking these posts, and blocking posters who repeatedly and unashamedly spread this kind of disinformation.

Or hell, don't share issue posts at all; you don't need to have a prepared PR statement with poasts about every issue ever. You can pick and chose what you share on your social media and limit it to issues that you feel confident you can find and share good, true, reliable information about, with good, reliable actionable steps. Especially here on tumblr, you are under ZERO obligation to blog about any particular topic, no matter what other people are saying. YOU are the ultimately arbiter of what goes out onto YOUR blog.

I totally get that it is exhausting to have to check your sources, but if you're not feeling up for checking sources you have the option to NOT share current event/issue posts, and I would encourage you to do this. Joining in outrage trains that don't have actionable steps afterwards doesn't really help anyone. Once again you don't have to speak about every issue and you have no obligation to provide PR statements about your opinions on every issue ever. It is also 100% OK to admit and acknowledge that something is outside of your knowledge base or expertise and that you do not consider yourself a good source for information on a particular topic. You have options, and people who send you hateful messages telling you otherwise are behaving like clowns, and don't deserve your time. Your time is limited on this bitch of an Earth and there's no reason to waste it caring about the opinions of people who wake up and choose to be cruel to others online.

You should be deeply suspicious of any posts that are deliberately designed to make you feel furious and/or hopeless, especially if they don't also have actionable suggestions. Double especially when they seem to be coming from somone "on your side." Even if the OP isn't a bad actor, doomposting and doomscrolling are ultimately bad for you (and for OP and for everyone else), because it does nothing productive; all it does is makes you feel bad/guilty, which I'm gonna be real, is deeply christian of you people.

BUT if you're going to share issue posts here are some questions you should be asking to evaluate your sources from your local librarian (me):

SOURCE: Who is the publisher of this source? Where are they getting their information? Who else is citing this source? What are the credentials of the publication? (Why should this publication be trusted to provide good information about [subject]? Is this source known to be a source that provides accurate and reliable information?) Who does the publication have connections to? Who funds this source? (largely in the case of news, is it a state-sponsored source? Is this source funded by special interest groups? Is this source sponsored by a specific corporate sponsor?) Might the publication have a conflict of interest related to the topic (essentially, do they gain any specific benefit for presenting the information in a certain way?)

AUTHOR: Who is the author of this source? What motivations might they have? What is their background? What other things are they publishing? Who do they have connections to? (as with the publication, is the author directly connected to [subject presented] in a way that might conflict with their ability to accurately present this information? Does the author have connections to individuals or groups known to provide false information?)

For posters, who is the OP? Looking at their page/blog, what information do they provide about themselves (they have no obligation to share personal information on here of course, but what information they chose to share can be telling about their motivations and whether or not they are a real person.) Does the OP show any signs that suggest they are a bot? How old is OPs blog? What are their other kinds of posts? Does OP have other posts that contain obvious disinformation? Do they interact with others in good faith? Do they engage in public harassment of other users? Do they have other posts that contain dog whistles or other rhetoric used by known hate groups (ie: rhetoric/language known to be used by TERFS, n^zis, white supremacists, incels, or other extremist or exclusionist groups). Do they regularly share information from publications widely known to be unreliable or false?

TIMELINESS : When was this information published? This is perhaps one of the most important questions you can ask about any news event, because when it comes to current events, the information known or available about them changes as time passes and often earlier information on a situation contains understandable inaccuracies. When was it last updated? Is this the most current version of this source, or are there newer editions? (For example, the same news source may have multiple articles about the same event, so it's important to check if the one you're sharing is the most current one) When was the information collected? (If the source you're citing was published currently are they relying on the most current information or are their sources less current?)

EVIDENCE: What evidence does the source cite for their claims? [are they using primary and secondary sources? For background information, who do they cite?) Can you find other sources that support these claims? (If you see a statistic or number, are there other sources that also cite that same statistic or number? Who is the actual source of that statistic? If an article makes a claim, can you find other articles from different publications that also make that claim? Do those other sources have credentials that make them a reliable source of information on [subject]? If this claim is only being cited by a small number of publications, while a larger number of publications make different claims about [subject] why might this be?) What sources is the author using to find the information they're presenting? (Beyond interviewed sources, what sources does the author use to get their facts? Who do they cite for statistics, numbers or other data?) Who are they interviewing? (in the case of a news article, which POVs is the author relying on for their article? If the article was about the actions of a corporation, does the author only rely on information given to them by a PR rep for that same corporation or do they interview other sources related to the story?)

In the case of a post, who does the OP cite as a source for their information? If the only source is a tik tok video, are there other sources that agree with the information presented in that video? Videos and images can be doctored by AI or by people. The way that images and videos are composed, framed and presented can radically change how their audience interprets or understands the information being presented. What does the framing of the image tell us about the author's perspective on [topic]?

TONE/LANGUAGE: What kind of language or rhetoric does the author use when presenting the information? Does the author of the source or the post use inflammatory language, designed to elicit a power emotional response? Does the source use language that creates a sense of hopelessness? What kind of language does the article or poster use when talking about individuals from marginalized peoples? Does the poster or the source use language that is known to be rhetoric attached to specific prejudices/bigotry (essentially is the language used from known talking points of hate groups?)

Studying the language used in the source, does it appear to be a source presenting facts, opinions or propaganda? Many sources will be some mixture of these things, especially when it comes to news sources, so the question becomes, which of these three things is the strongest bent of the source?

Here are some additional sources that you can visit to read or watch more about source evaluation from a variety of college/university libraries:

Santa Barbara City College Luria Library on source evaluation University of California Berkley Library on source evaluation Kettering University Library on source evaluation Harvard University on source evaluation Dominican University Rebecca Crown Library on source evaluation Seattle University Lemieux Library and McGoldrick Learning Commons on source evaluation University of Virginia Library on source Evaluation

selected bibliography:

Neill Hoch, Indira. 2020. “Russian Internet Research Agency Disinformation Activities on Tumblr: Identity, Privacy, and Ambivalence.” Social Media + Society 6 (4): 205630512096178. https://doi.org/10.1177/2056305120961783.

Issie Lapowsky. 2018. “Tumblr Names Russian Propaganda Accounts after Long Silence.” Wired. WIRED. March 23, 2018. https://www.wired.com/story/tumblr-russia-trolls-propaganda/.

Martineau, Paris. 2019. “Russia’s Disinformation War Is Just Getting Started.” Wired. WIRED. October 8, 2019. https://www.wired.com/story/russias-disinformation-war-is-just-getting-started/.

‌U.S. Congress, Senate, Select Committee on Intelligence, Russian Active Measures, Campaigns and Interference in the 2016 U.S. Election Volume 2: Russia's Use of Social Media With Additional Views, 116th Cong., 1rst sess., 2020, S-Rep. 116-290, https://www.intelligence.senate.gov/sites/default/files/documents/Report_Volume2.pdf.

U.S. Congress, Senate, Select Committee on Intelligence, Russian Active Measures, Campaigns and Interference in the 2016 U.S. Election Report Volumes I-V Together With Additional Views, 116th Cong., 2d sess., 2020, S-Rep. 116-290, https://www.congress.gov/116/crpt/srpt290/CRPT-116srpt290.pdf.

Winder, Davey. n.d. “Russia Targets Ukraine with Hybrid Cyberattack.” Forbes. Accessed February 26, 2024. https://www.forbes.com/sites/daveywinder/2024/02/21/russia-unleashes-2-pronged-psyops-and-cyberattack-on-ukraine/?sh=2297053f4540.

Cassidy, Caitlin. 2022. “Doomscrolling Linked to Poor Physical and Mental Health, Study Finds.” The Guardian. September 5, 2022. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/sep/06/doomscrolling-linked-to-poor-physical-and-mental-health-study-finds.

‌

[crazyalien87]

You're right, that was weird of me to ramble on baout my gender questioning💀. I think what I was subconciously trying to say was that I DO have internalized transphobia, but it is still not related to my og post💀. The og post isn't shaming ppl for transitiong bc it is about cis dudes who don't wanna transition or be not male at all but think they are nonbinary due to not being totally masculine. That is sexist against men by implying they all have to be masculine to be men. It is also not even what nonbinary is about. Nonbinary is about wanting to be something other than male or female, not something other than masc man or fem woman💀.

Besides, how could I not have internalized transphobia when the "community" is full of shitheads like you? Who call any random pro-gnc post transphpbia? Do you know how much I hate the fucking stereotype and public perception that trans people and especially nonbinary people identify that way because of gender roles? Frick, lord knows how many times I've seen people say shit like "i liked feminine things since i was a child, therefore im a trans woman" or "i was a tomboy as a child which is a sign that im a trans man". Like bro. Do you see how sexist that is? Literally defininf whether someone is a man or woman based on gender roles. That's the same shit that conservatives do expect more progressive bc conservatives just say gnc ppl are failed/bad women & men whereas at least these sexist trans ppl dont hate them but still say that failed at being men/women! Bruh!

That is NOT what transness fucking means and NOT what nonbinaryness means either. yet i know if i comeo ut as nonbinary irl i'll just be seen as a "theyfab" with no dysphoria or transition goals who just wants to be special or who thinks im less of a woman because i play video games (i knew that was bullshit since i was a child and was a girl who played video games).

And on top of that, transness is so fucking politiczed by literally everyone like holy fucking shit. i wish i could just look at my dyspgoria more neutrally and decid ehow to deal with it and how much to transition and whatever. But then there are basic conservatives saying im an abomiation and defying god then there are "gender critical" conservatives who demean and infantilize me and say im too dumb to know what i want and then there are sexist trans ppl who say that me being less than 100% feminine is nonbinary even tho that's not why im nonbinary (but that shit confused my gender questioning during 2020 after years of getting gneder roles shoved down my throat from both sexist society at large and the lgbt social media spaces i frequented in the late 2010s - early 2020s). Fucking shit. Oh and im not done there are the "normies" who "accept" trans ppl but only very conditionally, who only accept adult binary trans ppl who transition and still misgender and deadname them behind their backs and would move out of california bc they don't want their future kids to get transed. And there are transmeds who seemed reasonable at first but then they have such strict rules it's actually insane. Absolutely no nuance on whether someone can have multiple types of dysphoria or have it not strongly enough to need surgery and most of them hate nonbinary people! Then there are the "terfs" who, again, actually say the same shit as "gender criticals" but now they also claim to be feminist while demeaning women for their choices that may improve their lives! What the fuck! Then there are tirf who finally agree with me on trans people. But then it's like, i actually came to tumblr to talk aboht lgbt+ and "mogai" stufd and not feminism bc im not an activist so why am i gonna sit here and read all this depressing shit all the time? why do so mamy radfems only post about horrible things that happen to women? i mean i get it but i wanna be happy tho i dont wanna read that shit and have it in my mind all the time.

tl,dr: the og post is not transphobic but sexist shitheads like u in the trans community make us look bad and makes me not want to be associated with it lest ppl think im also sexist and only identifying as nonbinary for sexist reasons imstead of normal reasons.

Infographic about how gnc men can still be men and if a male/amab person id's as nonbinary only due to being gnc that is bc of sexism and they can still id as cis man if they want

This is an edit of the original from this post, which is the same but opposite, it is about gnc women who think they aren't women enough. I posted it in a reblog, but thought it deserves its own post as well.

To be clear, I am not against nonbinary people. I'm just not against gnc cis people either, and I hipe to help people reocgnize the differences between them.

[demonicintegrity]

The Will Wood Drama - an explanation and breakdown for those who need it TW: Allegations of grooming and manipulation, talks of unhealthy/toxic relationships, and talks of relapsing into self harm

So yesterday (7/31/22) a user posted a twitter thread saying he was groomed by Will Wood, and it has been archived by someone else* with og screenshots being found and showing the account that wasn’t in the og thread.** But I will be recapping and then giving my insight. It gets long.

TL:DR: Op has a deeply unhealthy relationship with Will where sexual intimacy is on and off in cycles. Both parties are negatively effected by it. I believe Op that it happened and that it caused serious harm but I cannot find the specific behaviors of grooming/manipulation/emotional abuse in the thread Op makes.

Notice: Do not harass and give death threats to Op. I don’t care what you think or believe in this situation, it is never okay to deliver death threats. Nor does it excuse being insensitive pricks. He’s been mobbed enough by stans who cannot give the situation delicacy and nuance. He’s still a person who was hurt and is still hurting. There is no intent of maliciousness from him, do not assume that.

*The archive has censored nudes of Will. Which is completely uncalled for and wrong to do. Nudes were exchanged with consent under the explicit agreement that it stay private. I understand that Op was being mobbed for proof that this was Will, posted, and the quickly deleted it. The archive has no right to keep the images nor do I think it was a necessary addition of proof that the exchange happened. I also hear a rumor through the grapevine that these photos allegedly don’t look like him and/or were doctored but I am in no place to confirm/deny because I don’t know what Will looks like either than a white man.

**Another rumor is that the insta account wasn’t manage by Will and thus could’ve been someone impersonating him? I don’t buy that because the later text messages do reference the insta ones. But I also don’t follow Will’s social medias so idk who manages what and where and what he types like. Again not my call to make.

Edit: As new information comes to light it will be in the replies. New links have been added already. In one of the links we see more people come forward with further problematic behavior from Will in the past. If you have further information, read what’s already in there and then explain your own. The asks on my blog regarding this are more broader discussion than actual evidence gathering/analysis, that will stay in the replies for convenience.

At age 18 in 2018 op becomes facebook friends with Will and they had a casual friendly relationship. Time passes, they meet at a concert in 2019 and talk, more time passes and they moved to snapchat and again, was friendly. They talk and Will finds out Op is selling nsfw content of themselves and expresses some interest even with guilt. Because there is an age gap and he is aware Op is a fan. There are screenshots of that and him mentioning it would be “cancel city” if people saw he bought nudes from an 18yo fan. (worth noting that op does state that they were talking on snap but the screenshots are of an insta convo here, but benefit of the doubt that it’s a slip.) Pictures are paid for, Op feels “starstruck” but fine with this even tho Will expresses some residual guilt.

(Note: I am not jumping at Will’s guilt and unease here as proof of bad behavior. People feel guilt for sexual desires esp when it’s taboo, even when it’s 100% fine. Just as I’m giving Op grace, I will give Will grace too, I know nothing about either them as people. But I do know feeling guilt over sexual attraction because it something you can’t control, and I do know famous people are esp prone to judgement and anxiety that can be internalize. Yes there is an age gap, but they met as adults and he has never personally known them as a child. The experience difference from age can be a valid concern in any relationship, but in the context of just buying pictures I don’t think that’s relevant.)

The night afterwards Will brings up sexting for money but pulled out, being personally uncomfortable with it and then wanting the sexual undertone of their relationship to be removed. Op says thats fine and that’s that. 

The next part is Op expresses some self-conscious issues regarding being in college classes and a certain incident not elaborated on. We get a screenshot of Will comforting Op citing they are mature and smart. Here Op says that it sounds like the “youre so mature for your age” sentiment perverts use to get close to kids, and although they want to believe Will is just being nice they now think it creepy because it coupled with Will’s earlier worry of being “cancelled” for buying pics of an 18 yo.

Now the full sentence is “You’re smart and mature and you have a good head on your shoulders.” I personally don’t think this is creepy or being used in the same way as a pervert would. If my friend was insecure about being in college that is something I would probably would say to them too. In context, I feel this is fairly innocent and doesn’t prove anything wrong of Will.

After that they’re talking just as casual friends for a bit. Eventually Will makes a sexual advance again and it is reciprocated. Free of charge they would exchange pictures occasionally. It is here Op openly admits to feeling completely dependent on his praise and feeling as if he didn’t, Will would leave.

Now there are no screenshots of conversation to be further proof of Op’s word that Will would stop being friends if they weren’t sexting. Giving Op the benefit of the doubt, those feelings were genuinely felt. But I genuinely don’t know if Op felt that because Will had made some comment to suggest it or Op’s codependency was feeding that anxious feeling. I simply do not know. As someone who has been codependent in an intimate relationships before and still has anxious issues, I can tell you that even though these fears are genuine and have mental and physical effects, sometimes they really aren’t founded. It doesn’t mean theyre invalid fears, but it’s just not very applicable to the current situation.

Again, I cannot be 100% sure whether that worry here is founded or not. Considering Will had been able to keep a friendship with Op before and after the introduction of sexual pictures, I can see where the nagging thought would be there but that also shows he was capable of being friends without it. idk. So while I’m keeping it in mind that op has this fear + codependency because it will color their side of future interactions, I am also giving Will the benefit of the doubt that he’s unaware of this complex. After all, they’d been friends with healthy communication for a time.

It is now that Op says these next messages and timeline specifically come from insta. Op describes this as a cycle. They would sext. Will would then feel weird about it. They would stop. He would get “bored” and then it would start again. And this cycle would continue until march 2020. (Now i dont know what Op means by “stop” whether it would stop only the sexting or communication altogether. I’m leaning towards the former and assume that going forward.)

Now, is this healthy? Absolutely not. It sounds like Op and Will are in an unhealthy cycle of being attracted to and wanting each other’s attention. But being unable to properly expressed and place and enforce boundaries down of what attraction this is and how that relationship should be. It a definite issue, but something they both need to communicate in order to find a solution. When it comes to what a relationship is, it requires both people to work together to find a way to make it work to decide if it’s not worth it anymore.

Op does not elaborate further on this cycle. Which is fine, I wouldn’t want to think a lot about it if I were in that place either. What memories mightve felt fine and good in the moment definitely can feel tainted and fuzzy later due to new associations to the event/someone in the event. I get it.

If Will had intentionally encouraged Op to be codependent, lead Op on, that would 100% be on Will and be a terrible terrible thing. That would qualify as grooming and manipulating them. Worth every bit of condemnation. However, this thread doesn’t elaborate if that happened. And at the point Op doesn’t claim that, just that it was a cycle. A clearly unhealthy one. We have no idea what it looked like beyond the sexting starting and stopping.

I do want to clarify because I saw some people saying this: You can be groomed at any age. Kids are not the only ones groomed. It’s just that an adult/child dynamic is the easiest to leverage and most recognizable. You can also be groomed regardless of occupation. I understand Op was selling nsfw content, that doesn’t mean he’s suddenly immune from grooming. All grooming requires is using pressure to force you to take on a certain role. This pressure could be from emotional or physical abuse, leveraging authority, leveraging status, basically anything. In this specific case, the implication is that Will would’ve leverage his status to get Op to do things. The fact that there is an age gap would imply that because Op is younger, Op would have less experience and knowledge that could play into Will’s advantage here.

That is entirely possible, but at this point in the thread, Op doesn’t claim that happening. And there are no screenshots here, so there is no dialogue to see contribute to that reasoning. Not saying it couldn’t exist, but it’s not presented. So while I’m believing Op that something unhealthy was happening between them, I’m not placing a word as to what type of unhealthy relationship it is without more context.

Op goes to Will’s last show before the lockdown, talks to the bass player more than Will and then gets home to see sexual messages from Will. I have no idea where in that cycle this incident would be in. Just that this happened during the cycles.

After that show, lockdown starts. Op’s home life gets really traumatizing during this. This additional trauma is relevant because Op would turn to Will during these times. Citing him being a friend and having relevant experience regarding the traumatic development. This is also during the cycle of have a sexual relationship with Will, in their own words saying they were a “sexual object” to him. Again, no dialogue to be seen so I don’t know where exactly Op is getting this, but if he felt like an object, he felt like an object. I cannot dissuade that. No one has a right to make calls on what someone else is feeling. I can only wonder where it came from and what contributed to that feeling. The most I can confidently say it’s that this unhealthy cycle was causing it, but not what specifically about it. We’re not provided further elaboration and I’m not gonna demand that of Op.

One night of this traumatizing development at home around 2/3am Op is on a spiral at genuine risk to relapsing into self harm and turns to Will. Will stays up with them until 6am to help them through it. Op is calmed down and goes to sleep safe and unharmed. Op describes the next few days of him being extremely grateful that Will did this, while Will is being standoffish with one word replies. Eventually Op confronts Will and asks if he had done something wrong.

This is the correct course of action. If Will was upset at smth Op said he should’ve said something instead of being vague and standoffish. That is on Will, but that’s poor communication, not necessarily manipulation.

Op then quotes but doesn’t provide screenshots that Will says Op was being manipulative, only coming to Will for sexual purposes, and made him out to be an “emotional dumping ground.” Breaking that down, there is no cause to assume Op was being manipulative. There is no cause to believe Op only wanted sexual attention from Will, in fact Op already stated it was the attention from a local star that drove a lot of this attachment. Op seems willing and okay with sexual intimacy at this point, but I don’t think Op wanted only sex. It is the “emotional dumping ground” aspect that likely has some genuine weight to it.

Op is already dependent on Will for emotional support and going through a lot of trauma. And as someone who’s been there, it’s so easy to dump on the person you’ve formed a codependency on. Both appropriately vent and inappropriately dumb baggage on them. It’s not fair to the other person, even when they do want to help. I’ve been on both sides of that, it’s awful. I don’t think Op was intentional in harming Will if they were dumping trauma on him often during this time, but it doesn’t mean it still couldn’t have caused harm. It’s already established that Op and Will’s relationship had serious communication and boundary issues at this point. I am not surprised that Will would’ve felt like an emotional dumping ground in this situation.

Op goes on to say he’s mortified that “someone that [he] revered as a god-like figure, [told him he] was being manipulative for asking for help.” And no, asking for help is not inherently a manipulative thing, in fact the “asking” part is what gives the other person a healthy chance to not help. Telling someone they’re manipulative for asking for help is a huge dick move. On the other hand, asking someone to talk you down from relapse is tall order. Now I don’t know if Op specifically told Will a relapse felt oncoming when first asking for help, or it was revealed through prompting and conversation later on. Regardless, it was made apparent to Will, hence why he stayed up with them. I don’t know how those hours went down and I would never ask Op to try and remember how it did.

But asking someone to help you through a mental health crisis is a tall order. Especially at 3am to a person you have an on and off inconsistent relationship with. There is a reason you go to someone trained in a mental health crisis, they are prepared and know how to help and handle your situation. If you ever find yourself in Op’s position, call/text a mental health service line. The one I’m familiar with is 741741, double check for what is in your area/country. No matter what that is going to be a key and/or turning point in a relationship. I am not saying don’t go to friends/family/partner when youre struggling, but you also have to understand they’re not always going to know what to do. And if this is happening over text, which is what happened between Will and Op, there’s even less they can do now coupled with knowing they can’t do much if things take a turn. It’s an intense emotional labor that yes, some people are more than willing to do for someone they love, but that doesn’t mean it’s still not a difficult thing to ask.

I feel for Op, I really really do. And Will is wrong to call that manipulative, because I genuinely don’t think Op was intentional trying to harm, but I can 100% see and find it valid as to why he would be uncomfortable with that incident. It’s not an excuse to be standoffish for days but yeah, maybe it takes time to figure out how to address that.

What raises a big red flag for me is that Op openly admits to revering Will in a god-like manner. Under no circumstances should you be revering anyone like that. I knew Op was dependent to the point of codependency (I should clarify that codependency is my interpretation of this, not Op’s.) but holy shit is that so much worse. That is such an unhealthy mindset to have towards someone and it sets up any relationship to be unhealthy and poor. And the thing is, Op doesn’t elaborate where it came from.

If this is indeed grooming, Will would have had to encourage and enable and endorse this god-like image. For starters, I have no idea if Will knew or figured out Op had this mindset. The only thing seemed to have been made explicit is the trauma Op’s enduring through lockdown and as such the codependency would’ve been made obvious. And if I recall correctly, Will has stated he doesn’t like to be idolized by his fans. Most people don’t and I do know that celebs are the ones that have to be explicit in saying they don’t like idolization because it happens so much. 

What I make of this revering is that unfortunately Op had set themselves up for tragedy. Having such bad idolization and dependency from the beginning he seemingly couldn’t get away from. Even if you enter a healthy relationship, that is how it gets severely damaged if you don’t keep it in check. I can say that with full confidence because I have damaged a good relationship with codependency before. It’s unfortunate, it’s a tragedy, but that’s how the cookies crumbles.

Now, if Will intentionally put that mentality onto, enabled, or intentionally capitalize on that, he would 100% be a manipulative person in this. Deserving to be condemned and held accountable for taking advantage of a vulnerable person. But at no point does Op say he knew or enabled this. I’m assuming Will has caught onto the dependency, but only because the traumatic environment Op was in had him cling to Will. And I can see being sympathetic to the situation and thus not addressing the dependency right away because it could ease up once the trauma isn’t actively happening. I don’t know if he was aware of it before lockdown and certainly don’t expect him to have thought he was being revered in a godly manner at any point.

All Op elaborates is he still struggling to ask for help because of this. And I do not blame Op for that, I feel for him because I have the exact same struggle because of previous relationships. And that Op and Will barely talk for months after this confrontation. At this point Op is heartbroken and feels like he ruined everything.

Then Op’s feelings about the situation evolves after speaking to friends about it. Now the feeling is that Op was “groomed by a man with insane power over [him.]”

I don’t want to bash on Op’s friends. I don’t know what they were told and the context or any of that. I am sure they only want what’s best for Op and have his best interest in mind. I will never fault someone for genuinely believing something bad happened and pointing it out. However, I still don’t know at what point this relationship became grooming. It was definitely unhealthy, and probably toxic at some point, but I do not see where Will intentionally leveraged power to make Op do something. It’s not in any dialogue exchange shown. Maybe the screenshots have been lost, which I wouldn’t fault Op for. All I can gather from the relationship is that it’s unhealthy and clearly brought distraught to both sides. I believe Op that something unhealthy went down and fucked him up, I can see that. And if Op’s friends, who likely have more details, believe something wrong went down I am inclined to believe.

I’m just scouring and rereading and I can’t find the grooming behavior.

Sometime after Op’s evolved feelings, Will reaches out to apologize to Op. The screenshots provided are of an apple text exchange. Will apologizes for acting hot and cold, and for making Op feel like he didn’t care. He says it’s not a reflection on Op and it was on him and his own issues. He says he recognizes he did something wrong, he is working on it, and that it is “too little too late” in Op’s case, but he is sorry and wishes him better. It is a solid apology. I do not see faults in it and so long as he keeps to his word that he tries to improve, he’s done his part. Sounds like he’s made his peace with his part in the relationship.

Op accepts the apology and then tells Will he’s done some thinking and thinks it was extremely inappropriate it even happened. (I’m assuming this refers to the sexual intimacy part of the relationship.) He goes on to tell Will he should’ve been more mindful to who he speaks to and what he means to them. Op’s specifically points out their age gap and the fact that he idolized him. That there was a lot of power there. Will apologizes for taking a lot of time to respond, he’s collecting his thoughts, and then Op states he’s realized he’s “not entirely blameless” which I’m interpreting as he understands his idolization of Will is something he went into the relationship with, which isn’t Will’s fault at all. It also could be that Will didn’t grasp the full extent of the idolization and dependency, which again wouldn’t have been his fault either.

While Will absolutely should have addressed idolizing and then the dependency that became apparent, he is not a mind reader and had no way to know how deep it went with Op. It’s also entirely possible he’s human and just didn’t know how to navigate a relationship with the power tipped to one side. On that point, I’m not sure if there are resources for that besides couple’s therapy. And I can’t even say if they labelled themselves as a proper couple because Op never states what it was called. Certain relationships come with certain expectations.

(Personally I am of the believe if if you’re going into any intimate relationship, platonic, romantic, or sexual, what kind of relationship you’re looking for and are willing to be in should be an explicit conversation up front. It should also be a continuing conversation as it develops. But I also understand most people don’t enter relationships like that or take the time to think about doing that. And if it does works out find without that, I can’t find fault in that.)

Will doesn’t respond for a week and Op blocks him so he can stop focusing on it and move on. Good on Op, good for him. He then states that weeks after My Body Your Temple comes out, he reads the lyrics to it. This causes a spiral because the lyrics remind him of what happen, stating that it’s a lot of the language and sentiment Will used with him. This spiral is what prompts Op to write the thread.

I have no doubt in my mind it would’ve been triggering for Op. The first time thinking about Will after this and it’s a song discussing vulnerability and intimacy with sexual language. Again, I feel for Op. I don’t think it was Will’s intention to use language similar to that relationship. The song was written for a podcast called Camp Here & There. I’m not familiar with the podcasts but genius.com says it’s about The Elephant Man. Whatever character that is. I heard the song without knowing it was apart of the podcast, and his songs have like 100 different interpretations sometimes anyways.

Op said he felt free from the relationship after writing it all out, which I am happy for. Sometimes it takes writing and dumping it all out there to process and feel better and I want Op to feel better because he is clearly hurting bad. I do think this relationship was very unhealthy and has lasting effects I hope he recovers from.

I’m just confused at where the apparent manipulation and sexual grooming is. I reread over and over. I don’t know where is the behavior of Will intentionally capitalizing on Op. I don’t know where’s this behavior of Will forcing and pressuring Op. It’s possible that it’s there and just not in the few screenshots provided and just wasn’t properly elaborated on in the description of this relationship. But I see everything that says “unhealthy” but I don’t see grooming, manipulation, or emotional abuse like he said this was.

I believe Op 100% that something bad and unhealthy happened. Everything here really does strike a chord someone deeply hurt. And I genuinely feel sorry that it happened and I wish them peace and recovery and better things. But I’ve reread the thread over and over at different points in time. I cannot find what I can use to specifically label this unhealthy relationship as being groomed or abused. I don’t know where it came from.

And I’m not pointing that out to victim blame or make accusations against Op, I do not want more harm and harassment on him. I’m pointing it out because I think everyone would do good learn the difference between an unhealthy relationship and an abusive one. One that’s unhealthy by chance and circumstances vs unhealthy by deliberate actions and intentions. One’s a tragedy and the other a crime.

Op wouldn’t have made these things up. Everyone knows if you accuse anyone, let alone a celebrity, there are going to be people coming out of the woodworks to play devil’s advocate and tear into your life. Making up drama is not worth that. He also has the expressed interest of helping other people avoid what happened to him. And that is noble and good, especially when you’re doing that by opening up about something that has hurt you so deeply.

It’s just that, the lesson and warning I get isn’t “Will is a predator” it’s “Don’t place people on such a pedestal and then get into an intimate relationship with them without stepping away from that. Be wary of becoming codependent.” Both still valid warnings, even if it’s not quite what Op is going for. With or without Will’s name or age gap on the relationship, those are the two conclusions I see with how the relationship has been laid out.

(Another thing is that this whole thing was seemingly wrapped up with the apology. Op doesn’t accuse Will of these things in that exchange. Something understandable because its a weighty accusation to make to someone directly. Even the best of people will want a further confrontation from that, and Op was not benefiting from focusing on Will and that relationship at that point to begin with. It seemed like that was going to be that, and they both were going to be done with the relationship for good. But then Op’s spiral with the new song prompted the thread.)

Op later tweets he doesn’t care if people listen to his music, it’s not about Will’s career it’s Will as a person he wants people to be safe from. And he makes the valid point of hardly anyone knows him outside of the face of the artist, of course he’d be a bit different off stage. It’s also in that tweet where he says Will he made Op need “to keep going back to him validation.” Which again, I don’t know where that’s coming from, but I do believe Op when he says he felt that way. I have no reason not to believe him.

Obviously I’m not gonna blame anyone who doesn’t want to listen to Will Wood after this, even if just for a little bit because of how this development sours things. It is your choice to continue or not continue engaging with his content and how. I do think most people can give a little bit more tact to the sensitive situation. Be nice and civil to Op at least. Better yet, leave him alone. He’s been through enough mobbing.

I believe there was a call for anyone else who had an experience with Will to step forward if they feel comfortable doing so. If a legitimate pattern of behavior is revealed, obviously then accountability needs to be held. But until then this really does feel like a unhealthy relationship that was wrapped up and both parties were processing and moving on until the spiral happen. An unhealthy relationship that maybe we didn’t need to know about? I don’t know. But if for a moment, writing the thread gave Op relief and I’d never deny him or anyone else that.

I feel for Op so so much. This just doesn’t tell me enough about Will to make a definite conclusion on him. I cannot in good conscious alleged abuse because I cannot point to a specifically abusive behavior in the thread. Maybe in due time more will be revealed to shed more light on the situation. And if more evidence is revealed, it will inform my conclusions then. But as it is right now, it’s just a deeply unhealthy relationship worsen by circumstances and fumbling on both parties. And I feel bad, it seems tragic to me. And it doesn’t mean Op deserved any of this angst by any means, but what else could be said about it?

It’s 4am and I’m p sure I started this post around 10:30/11pm. I’m without internet rn so ig ill post this when I wake up from sleep. And at 11am this has been reviewed and ready for posting. I don’t typically feel the urge to comment on discourse, esp one of this nature, but I’ve seen some bad faith takes as well as some confusion and questions. And this is something I feel can help people get a better grasp on the situation.

Obviously, make your own conclusions. Believe the victim that something bad happened; but also when you give someone you don’t know grace about something serious, you should also give the other person in the relationship grace when applicable. You don’t know either of them. Also understand that relationships can come with some nuance to it, which is applicable here. Maybe the cards were always set up for failure. Maybe Will genuinely mishandled the relationship. Maybe Op’s revering and codependency is something Will couldn’t have handled well at that time. I cannot say anything for certain because I don’t know enough about how the relationship carried to make that call. All I can say with certainty is that it was a deeply unhealthy relationship for them both and that they both contributed to that unhealthy aspect.

[rollercoasterwords]

Have no clue if you’re still on The Prank discourse but one thing I find so interesting about it is how much it emotionally affects people compared to something like Regulus being a canonical blood supremacist or Barty torturing people or other more traditional bad guys. And I think a lot has to do with how it affects two characters that people often project themselves into (Remus and Snape) rather than just being a generic “oh ya he tried to murder someone we hear about for a line or two.” Like people don’t approach it from a literary or a character standpoint, they often seem to see it as something that wronged THEM. It’s so fascinating to me- the epitome of how one attempted murder is a tragedy but the attempted murder of many that I don’t happen to care about is an easily ignored statistic.

of COURSE i am happy to continue talking about The Prank u bring up a really interesting point!! i do think a lot of the things that become these big like...moral debates in this fandom have less to do with like. actual morality and more to do with like....constructing identity through social media. like god ok let me see if i can be concise abt this:

we're being increasingly conditioned to construct our identities around online presence and social signifiers like the media we consume; so for a lot of people the books they read or the shows they watch etc etc are not just something to enjoy but are a pillar around which they are constructing their perceptions of themself. and in order to reify that construction you basically have to put yourself in this constant feedback loop of posting these social signifiers so that other people can look at them and go "oh so this is your identity," because a performance can't be real without an audience.

SO. i feel like that's where we're getting people who will say "oh yeah i'm a [character] kin" and feel as though that is truly an important expression of their deepest personal selves. and then, once your identity is tied to those characters, any attack on those characters feels like an attack on you. you can't accept the fact that other people might interpret the characters differently, because to do so would mean to accept that this thing you've tied your identity to is somewhat meaningless/empty/fluid/unstable, which would force you to confront the fact that this identity you're performing is, in fact, a performance, and not a revealing of some true and inherent inner self.

in reality, all of the things that happen in harry potter do not hold any real-life moral weight. like...these actions aren't happening. we aren't talking about real people doing real things to each other, we're talking about characters. so to use an example from ur message, barty killing his dad is no better or worse than The Prank, because neither of those things actually happened. and THAT means that everybody can take those fictional actions and interpret them in different ways and say they think one is better or worse within this fictional context, but there is no single true and correct interpretation, because none of this is real.

so, yeah. i think ur 100% right that when we do get these really contentious debates about the morality of certain characters, it's because people aren't approaching the topic through the lens of literary critique but rather through the lens of this Personal Moral Performance. like, if you kin sirius, and someone says sirius was bad for doing The Prank, then you HAVE to defend sirius and insist that that person is wrong, because u need to perform ur own moral correctness to the audience. like, sirius can't be a morally bad character, because i kin sirius, and i am morally good.

and yeah, that definitely leads to some cognitive dissonance! people are going to be quick to defend the characters they've attached themselves to while decrying the bad actions of the characters they don't like/don't care about--again, oftentimes to perform Morality on the internet more than in service of any actual literary critique. and like. if ur stuck in this mindset of feeling like you need to be constantly proving to the world how morally good you are, then anyone pointing out the fact that you defend one character but shit on another who did similar things is gonna feel like a personal attack, and that just makes the whole situation worse because then you feel like you need to dig your heels in and insist that your interpretations are right and their interpretations are wrong, and nobody feels like they can give ground without becoming Problematic for defending/shitting on whatever character they're fighting about.

[avintagekiss24]

Hi! I don't want to start anything on here and am always willing for civil conversations. At this point there's so much I've found out about Seb (besides the video he liked, the tommy lee thing, and the girlfriend thing) that I feel so guilty if I would continue to support him. I love him sm but it just doesn't look good rn. He is associated/follows an organisation (for helping veterans) that has posted a blue lives matter flag picture and who's co-founder has sexual assault allegations against him, and worked with him in 'The last full measure'. His friend Paul Walter Hauser has done blackface in the past, and when called out on it he just listed a few people that also did blackface. There's more, I found a discussion on here that I can link. I seriously don't support "cancel culture" bc I don't think it helps anyone but there are just a lot of 'mistakes' and shady people that can be linked to Seb, I wish it wouldn't be that way. I honestly don't know what to think about it anymore.

Hi! I’m also open to having civil conversations and I don’t believe you’re trying to start anything. I really do think this situation of dragging up a four year old video and taking it completely out of context is harmful not just to Black people, but to fandom/activism in general. This is gonna be long because I’m going to take your points one by one, and I want to preface this by saying that I will not answer any derogatory, sideways asks pertaining to this subject. I will delete every single one and will block your silly ass. I’m not going to argue with people who think I’m blindly supporting Sebastian because I’m just trying to get fucked by him, or people who think I hate myself and am trying to appease some white man.

So, on with the discourse!

The video he liked - this video was taken completely out of context and that is my main issue with this whole situation. It was not a video of a white man saying that he thinks he should be able to say the n word as everyone claimed it was. They were quickly debating on whether or not it's okay to say in rap lyrics. He was told no, that's not okay, that's never okay and they moved on from it. That's it. End of story. That somehow was twisted into a click bait style headline of "Sebastian Stan likes a video of a white man defending his right to say the n word" when that is absolutely not true. My other issue is that people are more upset that Sebastian liked the video than they are about the white man in the video literally saying the n word. So, do you really care about the use of the n word like you're claiming? Cuz if you do, you'd be more upset at the white man that said the word than you would be about the white man simply liking the video. Or, are you just using this as an excuse to grandstand against a white man you don't like?

The Tommy Lee thing - Sebastian Stan playing Tommy Lee does not make Sebastian Stan a bad person. Is Charlize Theron a bad person for playing Aileen Wuornos, a prostitute who started murdering men? Is Leonardo DiCaprio a bad person for playing a slave owner? Is Edward Norton a bad person for playing a nazi sympathizing racist? Actors play bad people. That doesn't mean that they themselves are bad people. 1990's Tommy Lee was a bad person, but that should have no bearing on who Sebastian Stan is or his character as a man.

The gf/Paul Walter Hauser thing - Why are we holding Sebastian accountable for what the people around him are doing? Again, why are we more upset that Sebastian is associated with people who have done questionable things than the specific people themselves? I'm not going to speak on the kimono wearing -- I'm not Asian. It's not my place to say whether or not its offensive because it's not my culture, but she posted that picture and attended that party before she started dating Sebastian, quite possibly before she even knew him. Same with Paul. I think that black face thing was long before he knew Sebastian. Now, if Sebastian was defending these actions, going around saying "I think it's okay for white women to wear Kimono's" "I think black face is fine" "I think white people should be able to say the n word" then we'd have a different story, wouldn't we? But that's not what we have, and that's not what he is doing. He is not responsible for the things his friends do or have done in the past just because he's more famous than they are, and he is not required to speak on them. Let's put it this way -- would you be comfortable having to be responsible for something a friend of yours did before you knew them? Would you want to have to be forced to answer for your friend when you yourself had nothing to do with the questionable behavior?

The organization that supports the military/blue lives matter - Sebastian cannot control what message that foundation puts out and it does not mean that he is or is not pro-police himself. There is not enough concrete evidence -- if any evidence for that matter -- that Sebastian is a blue lives matter supporter. Did Sebastian donate before they put up the blue lives matter post? Or after? I don’t know, cuz I don’t follow him that closely, but if he donates before they come out with a particular stance, that means he should be held accountable for that? I know I donated to an organization once and they turned out to support something that i’m 100% against. That means I’m a bad person because I couldn’t see into the future? Another point, how can we be certain that Sebastian saw the blue lives matter post in the first place? I know I’m not online 24 hrs a day, I miss posts all the time and I’m just an average person. I make three or four tumblr posts a day, and I’m gone. I have to play catch up on social media, and even then, I still miss stuff. So I’m sure the same happens to a working actor. As for the co-founder, I don't know who this person is and would rather not get into any allegations against them because I don't want to trigger anyone who comes across this post. If Sebastian knows about these allegations, is a willing participant/supporter of this person then yeah, that's pretty shitty, but we don't know the inner workings of this friendship/acquaintance/work relationship. We don’t know how close they are or if they even still speak.

I’m a pretty big fan of Don Cheadle. He’s a stand up guy, he’s a great actor, he’s funny, he’s political and stands up for what he believes in and in a very public way. I support him. Don Cheadle is also friends with Chris Evans, RDJ, Mark Ruffalo, and Letitia Wright (just to name a few). Chris Evans has a bipartisan forum that highlights/promotes right wing politicians, RDJ defended Chris Pratt during the whole “he’s the worst Chris in Hollywood” crap, who’s technically done black face, and who once said to a female reporter “nice tits” when she walked into the room, Mark Ruffalo just walked back his support of Palestine, and Letitia Wright retweeted/supported an anti-vaxxer/anti-trans Pastor who equated an ingredient of the covid vaccine to the devil because it contained some parts of the word Lucifer. Does that mean Don is now a bad person because he’s friends with these people? Why isn’t he getting any heat for his friendships with them? Why isn’t he being held accountable for what they’ve done and said? Oh right, because he’s not a white fave. So people don’t care one way or the other, which brings me to my next point. 

I can guarantee you that if Sebastian’s gf or Paul or this co-founder were not associated with Sebastian in any way, nobody would give a shit about her wearing a kimono, about Paul doing black face, or about the co-founder/organization being blue lives matter supporters and in that lies the actual problem. Being critical of people and their actions should be consistent and should happen all the time -- not just when they interact with your white fave. That’s when it becomes performative and looks like you just want to be able to show internet people that you follow/support/stan unproblematic celebrities, when really, you don’t care.

I think the moral of this post is that I think it's unfair to hold a complete stranger to a standard that I cannot hold myself to. I also don't view celebrities the way most teenagers/twenty somethings do, and that’s because when I entered fandom we didn't have social media, so I grew up with a wall between myself and said celebrities. There is no wall now with the presence of social media. "Fans" nowadays have a weird ownership feeling over celebrities because they can read their personal thoughts or view personal pictures and think that they have this personal quasi-friendship with them. I can't get on board with that. I prefer having the wall and I still keep the wall.

If supporting Sebastian makes you uncomfortable, then by all means, stop supporting him. Just make sure you are making this decision for yourself based on credible sources and concrete evidence and that you're not letting this fake woke activist mob make you feel uncomfortable. Internet activism means nothing unless you put your money where your mouth is in your real life and 90% of the social justice internet warriors do not. Real activism is bigger than changing your avi to a black square.

[currywaifu]

NEW PINNED POST

[ OLD BLOG NAVIGATION - Writing & Edit Masterlists ] [ GOOGLE DRIVE FOR MY A3! PHONE WALLPAPERS* ] * currently incomplete since i have some more saved on a different laptop, but there should be around 100 there in the drive... so at least more than half of what I've made

Hello! I think it's already obvious I've long quit creating content for this blog. If you're curious about why's and where i am now, as well as what'll happen to this blog feel free to read under the cut. Otherwise, thank you for having followed me 💗

Q: Are you quitting creating content for A3! for good?

A: Most probably. I have plans to edit my older works as I find myself dissatisfied with the writing style, as well as now having a better idea as to how to make my writings more gender neutral and POC inclusive.

I also have some unfinished works I want to finish, although I feel I don’t know these characters as well anymore (specifically if they’ve gone through more character development, knowing a3 they probably have) so I’m delaying due to not wanting them to be OOC

I plan on posting some unposted edits though when I… find where I hid them omg...

Q: Why did you quit creating content for A3!?

A: The number one reason was probably staying away from social media in general? Specifically content creation and posting on social media about it (I was still on SocMed, just not creating anything). I was in a bad place mentally and physically so I distanced myself from fandom and some online friends. I also had to focus on university. 

I won’t go in depth since it’s personal, but old mutuals can feel free to ask through DMs/Discord.

I also just lost interest in A3! in general. It mostly had to do with me starting university (around 2020) and not having the time to read any of the stories or do events, so the less I was caught up the more it discouraged me from playing. Mutuals being less interested in A3! and A3! EN servers being taken down probably contributed.

The last part is just... really being unhappy with the stuff I was putting out, unfortunately :(

If I were to give a TLDR it was a combination of health reasons, school reasons, and dissatisfaction. It feels sad to say this but I’m not very happy with most of my A3! writings.

Q: Are you deactivating your blog?

A: No, she can stay, though I have no plans of logging in anymore unless it’s to post something.

Q: You’re going to edit your older works?

A: Yes, it's my goal. When I have the time + get myself familiarized with the characters again. I look back at my old writings and it hurts a bit to read. So much I could have done better. I wish I did these characters more justice. It sounds like I’m being hard on myself but that’s just how I see it. The more we write, or do things in general, the more likely we are to improve.

I also just feel a lot of regret over how I treated writing. I’m obviously the only one to blame but I should have written things more for myself. I wish I could finish the rest of the requests I had left over even though I know a lot of people probably don’t even care about it anymore, but it sucks how I just up and left honestly.

I’m more likely to edit straight to AO3, though I’ll try to log-in when I can on currywaifu.

Q: Can I use your wallpapers/edits as profile pictures/banners/etc. on (insert social media here)?

A: Yes. You do not need my permission, and feel free to use it even without credit. For the record, I'm very glad that a lot of people still enjoy them. I feel like, same with my writing, my skills with editing have gotten better but I feel a little nostalgic looking at them.

Q: Can I find you on social media elsewhere?

A: You can. You can ask for my Discord if you want. I also have a new Tumblr. If you know, you know. If you can find it, you can find it :) 

Kidding. My new tumblr is @zgvlt. Feel free to bother me there, even if it's just to say hi and not to stick around or anything.

[autumnslance]

Hi Aeryn! I need some advice. I have found my character but I’ve developed gaming anxiety. I believe due to experiences online and being harassed and stalked by a former friend. Any tips on how I can play the MSQ and not feel overwhelmed?

Speak with a professional as soon as feasible about the traumas you've experienced so they can help you find the tools to work through a lot of those stressors.

I am very much not kidding, nor blowing this off. The reasons for that anxiety are 100% something a counselor, therapist, or other professional is suited to work through with you, not a random person on the internet.

What I can recommend in the meantime is to be very careful about your personal information on social media and not connecting anything in game directly to that, especially if still concerned about continued harassment. No one needs your location, profession, school or major, definitely never ever post anything about your traumas and triggers in profiles or Carrds, don't use real names, don't post selfies. Don't list social media in your Adventure Plate/Search Info. Don't mention your World, DC, or Char Names on your socials.

(Yes I do many of these things; not much of my real life and health history cuz that's none of y'alls business, but I cross-reference and connect my medias--but I am not having issues with harassment or stalkers and am willing to lock down if it ever happens. I have been on the internet since I was a teen, and have been very, very lucky in my interactions, though a lot of it is due to caution as well.)

Know your boundaries and set them. You don't have to join every channel, Discord, or be in all the game default chats (they can be hidden, disabled, put on custom tabs, etc). Be liberal with blacklist and don't assume every friendly person is a friend, even if in a FC or Discord together; a lot of folks (online and IRL) are simply acquaintances, not pals for life. System Menu, Support Desk is where you can place tickets, especially for harassment.

If it were me, I'd play the MSQ like a single-player JRPG and not worry too much about other people--just focus on the game, the story, the characters. They've made that a LOT easier to do for the most part thanks to Duty Support/Trust. If you do have a small group of trusted friends to play with, stick to them, or quietly join duty finder and get the job done and then never see those folks again; most of the time, people are silent and decent, or joking, or make general comments. There's a few sour apples out there but they're not the majority. And again, can always report the real bad ones; this game actually responds to tickets and issues.

I am sorry you experienced such things that make it hard to play or interact with others in a social setting, especially one meant to be fun and relaxing. Your trust has been broken and it will take a long time and a lot of work to mend or feel like some things can be "normal", if they ever will again. Take it at your pace, be cautious, and try to find someone professional to speak to who can help work through those steps to heal and protect yourself in the future. I know it isn't always easy to get that sort of help, but please try, and in the meantime, take care of yourself.

[ataintedcure]

whenever hyacinth gets his phone, i think he should be allowed to have a tumblr. it's all garden reblogs with the occasion post of something stupid that happened in the skelehousehold.

dialogue is cinth's posts

-

"got told again that i'm not suppose to eat food that's been on the ground. like excuse me? no one else was gonna eat it! i am doing this household a favor! plus like the 5 minute rule?"

-

anon asked: it's actually a 5 second rule when it comes to food, because germs exist. so food should be tossed if it's longer than 5 seconds!!

"now that just seems wasteful."

-

"google what are germs"

-

anon asked: what was the dropped food???? i'm invested in this saga

"it was a half eaten sandwich that one of others had made because all the ones who normally cook are out of the house. some sticky mess of way too much honey and peanut butter. they're might've been chips and cheese in it too? he was too lazy to pick it up and i wasn't about to let good food go to waste."

-

"oh great, the ones home told on me. i'm going get a lecture when the others come back now. this household is a nuisance, especially sandwich dropper."

...I HC that Cinth would be a troll on any social media.

Forget the cute little posts about gardening and responding to anons about food - this guy would 100% go on someone's blog simply to repost everything with various tags that rate the quality of the post.

#I rate it a 4 #the coloring is so off #you're making your ancestors cry #needs more texture

#this story is so dry I can taste it #sour sour cream #bad #you suck

#it looks like melted cheese on the side of the road # no i will not elaborate #fuck you Mary your shit is in my SPACE

[justkending]

Moral of The Story. Chapter One.

Summary: Marrying too young out of highschool leads to a naive and failed marriage. Now 10 years later, word comes that the divorce was never actually completed. Bucky and Y/N have to come back together after all these years to settle what wasn’t all those years back. Passive attitudes, miscommunicated endings, and reminiscing of an old love all comes back for the two.

Pairing: Bucky x Y/N

Word Count: 2600+

A/N: Ok, here is the first chapter! If you have not already listened to the song that evoked this idea from my imagination land, I suggest giving it a go! Moral of the Story by Ashe. I’m excited for you guys to see what this story brings and I really hope I do it justice! As always, comments and thoughts are welcome as they help me grow as a writer and let me see what you guys notice:) ENJOY MY LOVES!!! <3

(The posting will be once every other day until I have finished the series. If I finish early, I will post an update once a day:)

Read the Prologue here first!

Chapter One:

"You already got the flight?" Nat asked, perched on Y/N's couch as she ran around frantically packing. "Don't you have a huge meeting next week with that new business? What was it called? Bee's Knees?"

"Yes, but it's not until Monday evening. I highly doubt I will be there longer than a weekend to sign a few divorce papers. I'm planning on coming back early that afternoon, so I shouldn't miss it," she answered, not even stopping to look at her as she ran through the rooms and bathroom in the apartment.

"How soon did you book that flight?"

"As soon as I hung up the phone with Murdock," Y/N sighed. Nat sent her a questioning look not knowing that name. "New lawyer. The guy who took over for the sleazeball known as Justin Hammer," she rolled her eyes.

"Right," Nat nodded. "So, are you staying at your dad's house?"

"I would take my dad's house over my mom and Jerry's any day. You know this," Y/N paused in her actions, sending her a bitch face.

"I know. Just didn't know if you'd be all fancy and rent a hotel room to escape the smothering that is bound to happen from good ol' Mr. Y/L/N," Nat grinned.

"It's been so long since I've seen him not via facetime. And we both know that's barely seeing him as he doesn't know where the camera is even after a hundred calls," she laughed.

"Parents. Either they're technologically challenged or know how to work it better than us. Never in between and it's weird." Nat watched as Y/N froze in her stance and looked lost trying to think of something else to pack. Deciding she needed a distraction, Nat changed the subject some. "Hey, did you get Melody to go on that date tomorrow?"

"Yes!" Y/N answered proudly. "I know your aunt wants grandbabies from her daughter, but that girl just needs a night on the town more than anything. She's in her early 20's and holes herself up at the office almost more than I do, and I'm the boss."

"Cousin's got my work ethic. What can I say?" Nat shrugged smugly.

"Well, she needs to get your spirit in living some too."

"Touche," Nat pointed. "I need to have Yelena take her out. She's the real party sister out of us two."

"That is true. How she's able to party for 48 hours straight and still wake up at 8 am for mimosas, blows my mind," Y/N commented on Natasha's younger sister. "She's only a few years older than Melody, right?"

"Yeah, Yelena is 24, and Melody is 22. They were best of friends growing up, but once they got to high school, they kinda went different routes about life. Lana, the party gal, and Mel the studious bookworm."

"I'm not surprised by either of those," Y/N shook her head before collapsing next to Nat on the couch. A loud breath and sigh escaped her body.

Nat watched as her mind escaped back to the original issue at hand.

"What's going on in that brain of yours, Y/N/N?" she said, softly touching her shoulder. "Not that I don't already know, but maybe letting it out will help unscramble those thoughts."

Y/N lazily rolled her head to the redhead next to her.

"How is he?" she asked.

Nat was a part of their friend group from middle school through high school. She kept up with all of them still, whereas Y/N kept up with all of them except one.

"I actually haven't talked to him in a while. Steve on the other hand..." Nat nodded. "From that source, it sounds like Barnes is just as surprised and freaked out as you."

"He's freaked out?" Y/N asked, a hint of interest peeking out.

"Who wouldn't be? You get a call from a lawyer saying your marriage is still intact after 9 years of breaking it off, I would be freaked out too."

"He deserves it. I hope he's just as freaked out as me, if not more," she responded bitterly, crossing her arms across her chest like a pouting child.

"Y/N," Nat sighed.

"No. Don't. Don't defend him to me, it's pointless," she put up a hand. "I know you're still friends with him, but you guys still don't understand the pain that that man brought on me."

"He fought for you, Y/N. He didn't mean-," Nat countered.

"Again, you're wasting your breath. Defending him now does nothing to change the past," she said stubbornly, getting back up and carrying on with her packing. "You can still take me to the airport tomorrow, right?"

Her best friend wanted to keep pushing, knowing she had harbored this heartbreak for too long. Sure what had happened between them sucked and was a horrible chapter of their lives, but neither made an effort to talk it out and understand the other's side of the story. Faults of being young, immature, and not knowing how to handle a grown-up decision.

"Yes, I'll pick you up at work at 10. Flights at 11:25, right?"

"Yes, and you know California traffic. That will probably get me there 10 minutes before my gate closes. I had to get an early flight though because that time difference is going to kick my ass. It'll be close to 5:30 in my head and 8:30 there by the time I land... " Y/N huffed, rolling her bag to the front door for tomorrow. "You mind taking this tonight and keeping it in your car for now? That way I don't have to lug it to work?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll grab it on my way out. But we're still having a girl's night, right?"

Y/N laughed some before going to the kitchen to grab beers. "I Survived is already recorded and ready for us."

___________________

"Shit man... When's the last time you talked to her?" Steve asked, sitting across from his best friend in the chair diagonal from the couch, leaning forward on his knees after listening to the new news.

"Since I was supposedly signing our divorce papers. And even then, we didn't really talk. She sat there quietly straight-faced until it was signed and then rushed out the doors," Bucky sighed, still trying to wrap his head around the situation. "She was out of the state within the next hour."

Steve nodded before falling back into the single seat.

"So, do you guys have to see each other again, or is it one of those situations where you can sign separately?"

"I don't know. I just got off the phone. All I know up to this second is that Y/N and I have been married for the past 9 years without knowing it," Bucky said somewhat harshly. Steve didn't flinch at the tone knowing it wasn't directed at him. "I'm sorry. I-I just can't wrap my mind around this."

"It's ok. This is crazy shit, Buck," Steve waved off. There was a long pause before Steve decided to ask the question he was sure anyone would want to know. "Do you want to see her?"

Bucky slowly looked over to the blonde. God, he had been asking himself that question for the past 10 minutes himself.

On one end, yes. He wondered where she was now in life. How she was doing. What accomplishments he knew she would be making. He knew a few small things just by the whispers and small talk of her with their shared friend group that he still hung out with, but a majority of the time, they didn't bring her up around him. They knew what it did to him.

On the other end, he never thought about facing her again. I mean maybe for the year after their divorce, but when he never heard anything back from her all those times he still tried to reach out and she blocked him on almost all forms of social media, he gave up any hope of them falling back into good terms again. He hated it, but he wasn't going to push her when she clearly hated his guts.

And honestly, he deserved it. His young, stupid, college self was not a smart guy when it came to relationships. Even ones that had been there from the beginning of time practically.

Yet again, she wasn't perfect either. She made some mistakes of her own that pushed him to act the way he had.

"Hey, you both are older and more mature now. I'm sure you if you guys do have to see each other again, you can handle it like adults," Steve reassured, seeing Bucky's face turn to a soft frown. "Ok, so she may be a little stubborn..."

"A little?"

"Ok, a lot. But she's older now. She's not the 19-year-old girl that you remember," Steve defended.

"I believe that but I'm sure she still holds a grudge that is very, very, very, very-," Bucky was going to go on about 10 more very's before ending with BIG, but Steve cut him off.

"You don't know that," Steve shook his head.

"Really? Because usually when you no longer hold a grudge against someone, you might just reach out to that person and reconnect possibly," Bucky argued. "I mean that's what mature people do, right?"

"Not always..."

"So she's either not mature or still just as stubborn. Hell, for all we know, both," Bucky shrugged, pursing his lips.

"If you go into this with that mindset, nothing good is going to come out of it." Steve pointed an eyebrow at him.

Bucky rolled his eyes not replying to Steve. He knew he was right, but he was still bitter after all these years about how Y/N handled the situation. Sure, he messed up, but she had to. Yet she made him into this big bad wolf that was at 100% fault in the downfall of their relationship. It made him feel like shit, and though he tried to make amends knowing he did some fucked up things, she acted like she was Miss Perfect and didn't do anything wrong the entire time.

Damn, even after all this time, it still lit a fire in his chest with annoyance and hurt.

"When's the meeting?" Steve once again interrupted his thoughts.

"I guess Saturday morning. They said they were coming in on their off hours to fix up a few cases they found like ours," Bucky answered.

"How many cases were there?"

"Eh, I think he said it was single digits, but there were a shit ton of other cases in different areas that were worse off. The divorce ones are a small number compared to those."

"Damn. That sucks for all the couples who got a call today then," Steve huffed, running a hand down his face.

"Yeah, you're telling me..."

"Hey, we were going out with Wanda and Vis tonight. You still up for that, or...?" Steve stood up.

Bucky looked back at the beer on the coffee table and then at the TV still playing I Survived stories quietly in the background.

"You know what? I'm going to need a stronger drink than an IPA to get me to sleep tonight," Bucky nodded, standing and wiping his hands on his jeans before walking to his room.

"Looks like I'm the DD tonight then..." Steve sighed.

___________

"Vis," Wanda motioned to her fiance as he came back from the bar. "Nat just texted."

"About what? How is she?" Vis smiled as he sat next to her with Sam across from him. Sam tagged along at the last second since his other plans got canceled.

"She's good, but it's not about her," Wanda waved off, still reading whatever lengthy text was sent her way.

"Wow, that looks like a novel," Vis noticed with wide eyes as he looked over her shoulder.

"Wait 'til you hear what it's about." 

Sam shook his head as he took a sip of the beer Vis had brought over.

After reading the rest of the text out loud from where she had left off, everyone at the table looked at each other with shock ridden faces.

"They're still married?" Vis said softly as if it was a secret.

"Apparently..." Wanda nodded with wide eyes.

"So that Hammer guy was a sham?" Sam questioned.

"I told her not to go to him. He had some shady hole in the wall kind of establishment," Wanda chided. "But she said they needed something cheap and fast. She hated his guts and wanted it out of it then and there. Plus, they were 19. They didn't have much money anyway."

"Why didn't they just ask their parents for help?" Sam questioned. "Isn't Y/N's mom loaded?"

"Yes, but she refused to help her. She said it was her own fault for getting married so young and that she had warned her. Told her she had to get out of the mess on her own," Wanda answered.

"What about her dad?" Vis jumped in.

"Bucky and her dad were close. She was off in Colorado for school and didn't want to put her dad through that or make him have to help her in cutting him off. Bucky was like the son he never had and they were bonded at the hip. No matter how much Y/N hated Bucky, she wasn't going to ruin or take away his relationship with her father. That would have been cruel, and Y/N is anything but that."

"Weren't Bucky's and Y/N's dad's best friends?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, they were old-time war buddies. They're the reason Bucky and Y/N had known each other since birth. But Bucky's dad died when he was about 13, and Y/N's dad, Thomas, kinda took him under his wing. Growing up a teenage boy without a father figure messes with you, and Bucky was on the edge of a bad path after losing his father."

"He's still rather close with Thomas, but I'm sure Y/N doesn't know that. Unless Thomas has said something, and with how everything came to an end for the two, I'm sure he doesn't bring it up knowing how tender of a subject Bucky is to her," Vis added.

"Makes sense..." Sam nodded. "I only knew you all from the start of college, so I'm still a little lost in all the beginning stuff."

"All good. It's complicated with those two. Their past and upbringing are so interconnected with the other, it makes their downfall all the more intense and messy," Wanda sighed. "God, if this is the news, he's going to be a wreck tonight..." She looked up worriedly at her fiance who shared the same concerns.

"It could go two ways. Either he comes in all solemn and says three words all night, or Steve's going to be the DD and he's waking up with a head-busting hangover," Sam noted with a small grin at the thought. "I'm going to go with the latter though."

"Poor guy," Wanda sighed, taking a drink with a sad face. Ever the sympathetic one.

"We'll be here to listen if he wants to talk. If not, we act like we have no idea and don't bring it up," Vision spoke up, throwing his arm over her and running his hand up and down her shoulder.

"I'm going to tease him still most likely," Sam shrugged nonchalantly. Wanda sent him a warning glare. "Fine, mama bear! I'll be nice... Until he starts making a fool of himself." He added the last part quietly.

Moral of the Story Taglist:

@taylormobley @ximaginx @vicmc624 @leyannrae

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx @death-unbecomes-you @heyiamthatbitch @lizzymacy555  @srrymydood @xa-dia @redhairedfeistynerd @morganclaire4 @connie326 @captain-asguard @mollygetssherlockcoffee @teenagedreams-bucky @shower-me-with-roses @pham-tastical

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon @lauravicente @kakakatey @traceyaudette @notyourtypicalrose  @laneygthememequeen @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @thefaithfulwriter @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan  @xostephanie @averyrogers83 @awesomenursingstudent @gh0stgurl @cs-please @carls1022 @jjlevin @rainbowkisses31 @anise-d-castle6 @deannotmoose @their-bibliophile @kitkatd7 @willowbleedsonpaper @mariaenchanted @snffbeebee @couldabeenamermaid @rebekahdawkins @alyispunk​ @princess-annna

Bucky Barnes Tags:

@chloe-skywalker @charmedbysarge @jbarness @bellamy-barnes @katiaw2 @aikeia

[lachrimae-verae]

Honestly I'm getting pretty tired of people making things up that are stupid and rather than admitting (even quietly) that its a joke they double down and do things like editting wikipedia or w/e to "back up" the lie.

I get it, its funny to you, but as someone who has always had trouble knowing if something is a joke or the truth, it comes off very mean-spirited and juvenile. Yeah, haha, you got me. Wow. So glad you could have your 10 seconds of laughing at someone not getting your joke. Meanwhile me and others have had this entire Goncharov situation in various other formats go down countless times throughout our lives and its never 100% funny. There's always the moment of "what have I missed/am I missing/am I just stupid/why can't I understand". And when its something that happens again and again it does feel like the intention is to make other people feel bad that they aren't "in the know" about your weird made up thing. Im all for jokes and the tumblr style made up thing becomes site lore, its one of the reasons I've been here this long, but ngl, the first few hours of the goncharov meme was weird and uncomfortable, especially when ppl were absolutely lying and saying it was a real thing. Obviously I googled it and figured it was fake but for a website of ppl against gaslightling yall sure as hell were ready to make me question my reality for a brief laugh

Don't reblog or comment and tell me its just a joke or im overreacting. We all need to decide what we want the internet to be going forward, and I think that maybe, not having one of the few good social media sites be a place where ppl have to deal with untagged unreality or outright denial of unreality posts is something that should exist

[jimlingss]

hi!! for the requests, could I suggest hoseok, fluff, fake dating au, and the sentence 'I’ve been in love with you since we were kids.' thank you!

↳ Humdrum Amore

2.7k || 100% Fluff || Jung Hoseok

“I never thought I’d come back here one day.”

You stare at the brown building that you once dreaded. The same structure that you had to drag your feet into every morning five days a week after your dad dropped you off. But instead of feeling apprehension, there’s a sense of prickling nostalgia while you look at the building.

“Same.” The man beside you exhales, staring at the green field, the brown doors and small windows covered by blinds. “But it’s not all that bad, right?”

You turn to Hoseok who looks sharp in his simple suit and tie ensemble. You’ve seen him in the same clothes plenty of times, but while you’re wearing your red dress and you’re lingering in front of the school, it feels like the two of you have returned to being awkward eighteen year olds nervously going to prom together as friends.

But Hoseok eases you. “Come on.”

He takes your hand, a gesture you still aren’t used to, and tugs you inside.

The moment the doors are open, you follow the signs leading to the gymnasium and you’re met with a table of refreshments and goody bags. But more importantly, there are people already mingling in all corners. Some are wandering while most have gathered into groups to reminisce. There are those that you recognize and those whose faces have long faded in your memories. 

High school. A time of pubescent years, of growing up and trying to prove yourselves while figuring out your future. You have mixed feelings about that time. All you know is that you’re glad it’s over.

“Y/N?” There’s a higher pitched voice to the left and you turn to see Tiffany approaching with a wide smile. “Hoseok?! Oh my god, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you guys! How are you?”

You hug her for a second. “It’s good. You?”

“Yeah.” She exhales as if she can’t believe you’re together again and you admit, it is surreal. There was definitely a difference from glancing at someone’s post, status and updates on social media and seeing them in person. “It’s been great. I didn’t know if you were coming to this reunion or not.”

You smile, glancing at Hoseok. He was right about coming. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Someone walks by with a tray of cheap champagne and all three of you take a glass, thanking the waiter. Tiffany sips her drink and gets down to the nitty-gritty. “So tell me, what do you do now?”

You brace yourself, knowing this was coming. “I’m working as an embryologist at a fertility lab.”

“That’s so cool!” Her eyes widen and she genuinely appears fascinated. “It sounds super fancy.”

You laugh, concealing the note of awkwardness in your voice. Tiffany doesn’t know that it sounds much better than it actually is. It’s an entire step down from being a family doctor, an occupation which you once said was your dream. And she has no clue that you’re struggling under your strict manager, that you just received a cut in pay and your hours are strenuous.

But you don’t dare show your exhaustion. Or your discontentment.

You keep flashing a bright smile.

Everyone in high school expected you to do great, that you would go somewhere, do something. You were the smart one. The hard-working one. There’s always been a certain burden of expectations on your shoulders from your parents to your teachers, and perhaps that’s where the need to prove yourself to your former peers stems. If they knew how mundane and regular and normal you turned out — instead of being the successful achiever — you’re sure their disappointment would have a bigger effect on you more than you’d ever admit. 

And maybe that’s why Hoseok offered to pretend to be your partner for the night after you grieved about not being with anyone, when you struggled to find a plus one. He knows you best after all.

“What are you doing?” you ask Tiffany, and she hesitates, looking down at her drink for a second.

“Actually, I’m in-between jobs at the moment.” She musters a smile. “The economy sucks right now.”

You sympathize. “Yeah, I know what you mean. It’s hard to find a job these days.”

Tiffany turns to Hoseok and when she asks what he’s been up to, he says, “Nothing much. I’m working in IT as a development manager for this company.”

“Oh, that’s super cool too!” She’s about to ask something, but then her eyes incidentally stray downwards. You follow her line of sight, realizing that she’s looking at the way you’re holding hands with Hoseok.

“We’re...actually dating now,” you explain.

Instantaneously, Tiffany brightens. “You guys started dating after high school? When?!”

You laugh awkwardly. “Two...three years ago?” It doesn’t sound terribly convincing, so you try a second time, standing your ground. “Two, I think.” It falls a bit short, but she doesn’t notice. 

No. Tiffany absolutely gushes. “That’s so cute! Oh my god! I always thought you’d both be good together!”

That has you taken aback. The relief of getting away with your lie and not being caught gets overtaken by surprise. “Really?”

“Well yeah. You were always close friends and everyone,” she emphasizes the word by drawing it out, “knew Hoseok had a huge crush on you.”

This was news to you.

But Hoseok outright ignores your stare in favour of smiling at your old friend and holding up your interlaced hands by your heads as if it’s a trophy. “Well, looks like I got the girl in the end.”

“Are you gonna propose any time soon then?”

There’s a glint of mischief in Hoseok’s eye. “Maybe.”

He’s way too good at lying. You’re starting to get convinced this is real.

“Aw, I wish I was at this honeymoon stage again. Everything’s so sweet and cute.”

Speaking of which. “Where’s Nick?” you ask.

Tiffany deflates slightly at the question and you wonder if you said something wrong. You don’t understand until she says, “Oh….yeah...we decided to split up a few months ago.”

“Really?” You would’ve never expected it. From what you remember, they were one of the few high school sweethearts that actually made it in the long run, a couple that you used to be jealous of at sixteen. They ended up getting married too and you saw pictures of them traveling together a year ago. Who knew what her life was actually like behind the scenes. “I’m...so sorry, Tiffany.”

“It’s alright. Life happens, I guess, but it all worked out in the end and we both have joined custody of Sunny. It gets messy sometimes but as long as she’s happy, I am too.” She smiles softly and then nods. “Well, it was really nice to catch up with you two. I’m happy to hear you’re going out. Better put a ring on this one before you lose her, Jung.”

“I will,” he promises.

Tiffany leaves to catch up with a girl she knew from choir, so you both bid your goodbyes. But somehow, the conversation leaves a bad taste in your mouth. 

After greeting a few more old friends and acquaintances, you leave to the hallway. 

The nostalgia slams into you, stronger than before. If you stare long enough, you can picture the hall crammed with your classmates, how you ran from class to class, sat in the desks, bored out of your mind and at times, stressed. The walls and rooms hold so many of your memories without them knowing. And that in itself makes you feel old and gray, even though you aren’t.

Not yet, at least. Hoseok always reassures you that you have another good thirty years before you’re allowed to call yourself old.

Said man glances at your expression and reads it like an open book. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” You sigh. “It’s just….I don’t know. I was trying to save face this entire time and I even went as far as to lie about our relationship.”

“You didn’t do it alone. I lied too.”

“Yeah, but I wanted this.” You shake your head, slowly rounding a corner and making your way down what you remember as the science corridor. “People probably have more going on with themselves than to care what I’m up to. I don’t know why I was so scared about what they would think about me.” 

The corner of his mouth curls, and he nudges you with his elbow. “It’s high school.”

You lightly scoff but a smile tickles at your lips. “I just feel bad. Tiffany was so honest about herself, and she wasn’t ashamed about how her life turned out, not like I am.”

“No one turned out how they expected themselves to,” he hums in a thoughtful tone while glancing at the bulletin board tacked with handmade flyers for clubs. “It’s okay if you didn’t end saving the planet or finding the cure to cancer.”

You snort and soften. “Yeah.”

Hoseok always knows what to say to make you feel better.

“Look!” The peaceful moment is interrupted by the sheer volume of his voice. He points down the hall. “Our old lockers!”

You laugh, quickening your steps with his. The lockers are not technically yours anymore, they haven’t been for a long time and have probably been through tens of students since. Even right now, there are unfamiliar locks that keep them closed. But you still remember which one was yours.

You stand in front of it and Hoseok stands in front of his which is only three lockers down from yours.

The pair of you look at one another, exchanging grins. “Remember when I kept your math textbook for you since you were too lazy to put it away and we had to toss it to each other every morning?”

“Yeah. I never missed once.” He laughs and it’s a bubbly sound that’s exactly the same as back then. “Remember that time Taehyung stuffed himself inside my locker and we locked him in?”

You burst out laughing. “We almost got into trouble by Mr. Min!”

“Yep. That old man was always trying to pick on kids.”

“Except for that time Jimin launched that cake across the hall and it landed on some poor girl. He was nowhere to be found.”

Hoseok grins and comes over to lean on the blue locker next to yours, crossing his arms like he’s waiting for you before you’re late for the bell.

A sentimental feeling that is both wistful and happy washes you over again. You can recall those years as if they were yesterday. Namely, Hoseok would always be there when you closed your locker door, in the exact same position, staring at you with that identical warm expression. You don’t know a lot of your old high school friends anymore, don’t know what they’re doing or if they’ll come. It’s a natural progression of life, of going different paths and naturally drifting apart. 

But Hoseok has always been your side. Since then till now.

“So.” You turn to him. “What’s this about everyone knowing you had a crush on me?”

Hoseok goes wide-eyed and says nothing for a moment. Then he scratches the back of his neck. “Just stupid kid stuff.”

You raise a brow and hum. “Didn’t sound like stupid kid stuff. How long did you even like me for?”

“I don’t know. Why?”

“I’m curious.” You shrug. “I never heard about this before.”

Hoseok is embarrassed, that much is obvious. You can tell by the way he’s brushing around the subject, not looking you in the eyes, how much he’s hesitating. It’s not like him and that makes you even more intrigued. “A while.”

Maybe you shouldn’t push him so much when he doesn’t want to talk about it. But for some reason, there’s a burning desire inside of you to know. After all, you thought you knew all of your best friend’s secrets.

“What’s a while?”

“Like sixth grade?”

Your jaw drops. “So when we met?”

“Yeah..?” Hoseok seems unsure and he’s staring at the other wall as if it’s the most interesting thing he’s ever seen. There’s nothing but a dirty shoe print on it. “Something like that.”

Now it’s your turn to be perplexed. Although, for an entirely different kind of reason. “But why?”

He turns his head, as if sensing you’re about to self-deprecate yourself. “You’re funny and smart and pretty, Y/N. Everyone liked you,” Hoseok explains it as if it’s factual and your cheeks grow warm.

You suck in your cheek, fiddling with the fabric of your dress. “Then why didn’t you ever tell me you liked me?”

“I was awkward and I was too scared you’d reject me,” he exhales and you glance at him to find an unreadable expression. Perhaps he’s uncomfortable at the idea now that he’s grown out of it and he knows you too well. Or maybe...just maybe...he’s filled with regret.

You shake off the thought before your imagination runs wild.

You’re about to drop the subject once and for all, but as you turn away, the quiet mutter slips from your mouth, “I wouldn’t have.”

Hoseok catches it. 

He freezes completely and when you realize he’s not following you back to the gymnasium, you turn around. “Earth to Hoseok. What’s wrong?” 

“What about now?”

“What?”

His expression is blank aside from the slight furrow of his brow. It’s not often Hoseok’s entirely serious and you’re caught off guard by his demeanour. He closes the distance in three strides and asks, “If I asked you out now, if I said I wanted to date you for real, would you reject me?”

His gaze is dark. Intense. As if he’s mustered up the courage he’s built for years for this very moment. 

Your mouth opens, eyes unable to look away from him and your voice pipes out a timid— “no.”

In an instant, Hoseok’s mouth is on yours. Your back slams against the lockers as he cradles your cheeks in his palms, tilting his head to capture your lips carefully yet eagerly. You whine in his grasps and quickly reciprocate, moving your mouth against his. It’s soft, warm and comforting. Hoseok has always been comforting to you. A slow burn rather than a bursting firework that eventually fades away. A warm bonfire that’s built from the first spark rather than a forest wildfire that ultimately burns out after consuming everything. 

You’ve always loved him. But perhaps it wasn’t always purely platonic like you thought. At least not until tonight where that’s been challenged.

Hoseok's body is firm and warm against yours. His knee is placed between your thighs and you loop your arms around his neck to get him even closer. Your senses are filled with his cologne, the lingering scent of his shaving cream and shampoo. Hoseok tastes like the champagne he drank and you’re beginning to feel dizzy from it. That or you’re running out of breath.

You whimper rather pathetically, but he doesn’t let up. Not until you push at his shoulder and he has to gather his self-restraint to part from you. 

You’re left panting heavily against him, lips swollen and Hoseok exhales before laughing. “I’ve always wanted to do that.” 

You grin. “Always?”

“I’ve been in love with you since we were kids. Practically.”

Never would you have thought Hoseok would kiss you against your lockers. It’s another memory you’re making in these walls even after years of graduating. But you’d like a second time to make up for all the others, so you start to tug Hoseok’s tie to get him closer again—

“Hey!” 

There’s an ear-splitting shout and the two of you flinch, whirling around to the end of the hall.

“You’re supposed to be in the gymnasium!” Old man Mr. Min is bumbling towards you with a cane, his voice surprisingly still full of power even when he looks like a sack of bones.

“Sorry!” You duck your head and before he can catch you, your hand entwines with Hoseok’s. The two of you dash down the hall as if you were still trouble-making high-schoolers.

Hoseok mutters in complete shock, “He’s still alive?!”

And you laugh, squeezing his hand just a bit tighter.

You return to the reunion and your heart is a bit lighter knowing this time, you don’t have to lie.

[jeonsblackgf-writes]

LIES WITHIN YOUR WORDS || 2 ||

summary: Sierra left, but she didn’t quite leave😂 (you’ll see)

pairing: basically miguel galindo x black!OC

genre: errrr pettiness? fluff, maybe angst

word count:

AN: DO NOT WORRY! I AM CURRENTLY WRITING A FIC WITH FLUFF WITH ANGEL THEN EZ😂

____________________________________________🖊

"I just don't understand why I have to go back there." Sierra huffed, not wanting to move since she was very much pregnant as hell. She didn't want to leave the comfort of her couch but Miguel was more at ease knowing she was with him at all times with her being so close to her due date. He didn't want anything to happen to her, but he understood where his wife was coming from when she said that she didn't want to go back to the clubhouse after what happened to her 4 years ago. The only two people she's kept up with was Letty and Chucky. They've visited her a few times, they came to the wedding, the baby shower, almost everything. They were the only two people she trusted when it came to the Mayans.

"Mi reina, I completely understand why you don't want to go back, but I can assure you that nothing will happen to you because while I conduct business with Bishop, Nestor will be by your side just as he has been all these years. You have nothing to worry about, just trust me." He reassured her. She sighed and nodded her head as he gave her a triumphant smile. "Besides, it'd be nice to see you be petty every once in a while."

"I'm not liable for anything that happens while you're in the Templo. You know how my mouth gets when I get riled up" She grumbled, slowly sitting up from the couch to slip on her slides. Miguel gave her a kiss on the cheek, and let her have her alone time until it was time to work again.  He absolutely knew how much of a hard ass she can get when she gets mad, he's been on the other side of that on several occasions.

Sierra was 100% sure that Miguel was bringing her out of spite because he liked to brag and that's just the type of man he was. He took pride in the fact that he finally found love after Emily since he found out Cristobal wasn't his. He was heartbroken, yeah, but Sierra was there for him when nobody else was, and she was there for him when she told him about the deal that EZ had made with the feds. Of course, she felt like a bad friend, but there was so much betrayal being thrown around inside the Mayans, she didn't care anymore. Now here she is, 4 years later, married and pregnant by the one man that Angel and EZ had hated more than anything.

She had came to peace with herself and what happened to her a long ass time ago. She didn't want to harbour any hate for a man that didn't even deserve her time of the day. She stopped posting on social media because for some reason it had always encouraged him to call her, even while she was engaged to Miguel. She had also known, that Miguel was a completely different breed when it came to loyalty, it was like taking care of her needs was always his first priority and she used to feel so overwhelmed with how much love she had been receiving, but she had gotten used to it.

"It's time to go mi corazon," Miguel announced, walking back into the living room with Nestor behind him. She gave the two men a confused look as she watched Miguel carry a bag. He gave her a smile and handed it to her. She smiled as she looked inside the bag to see that it was filled with all her favourite snacks and drinks since he knew she liked to eat throughout the day. Not wanting to waste any time, she pulled out a bag of hot cheetos and ripped the bag open before popping a handful in her mouth.

Miguel grabbed her free hand and lead her to the car where the driver was waiting. He opened the door for her, placing a hand on her back as she got in. After she got comfortable, he closed the door and walked to the other side before settling himself beside her. Out of instinct, Sierra crossed her legs over her husbands, and scooted closer to him. He smiled and began to rub her thighs as the car started to move, Nestor sitting in the front. Miguel rolled up the partition from his side of the car, and began rubbing her thighs higher and higher, making her look at him suspiciously.

"The same shit your doing now is the reason why I'm pregnant." She grumbled, trying to push his hand away from he only grabbed it and laced it with his other hand as he slowly pulled her panties off with one hand and began to rub her clit slowly in small circles. She sighed and leaned her head back as she tried not to make too much noise because the car definitely wasn't sound proof.

"You know I can never get enough of you querida, no matter how pregnant you are." He mumbled, leaning over to place small kisses on her neck and chest. Sierra sighed in content and leaned back on the seat with her sundress hiked up to her belly, making Miguel smile. Maybe a small quickie wouldn't hurt.

"Miguel just hurry up because you got me horny knowing how sensitive my hormones are." She complained, trying to unbuckle his slack but he slapped her hand away, and held her legs up by the back of her knees.

"Relax honey, it'll be a while before we get there anyway." He stated before eating his wife out like it was her last meal, not giving her a chance to respond properly since she was too busy trying not to moan as she ran her hands through his hair.

Miguel moaned as he felt her drip onto his tongue before pushing her dress up past her. breast so he could have something soft to hold onto. Lately, he had been having sex with her and eating her out more than usual. She tasted sweeter and her pushy was always extremely wet during sex. He let go of her trembling legs, and snuggly placed them on his shoulder so that she would be more comfortable.

He circled his lips around her clit before sucking harshly, receiving a loud moan from her. "Holy fuck! Shit..."

Sierra looked down to her husband over her belly to see him already staring at her with wide eyes as he used both hands to spread her pushy lips as he stiffened his tongue and proceeded tongue fuck her deeper, making her thud down onto the seat and let out another sob as she felt herself coming closer and closer to cumming.

Her mouth fell into a silent scream as she felt her orgasm crash down upon her. Miguel did his best to keep her still as he watched her essence spurt out of her, watching as her legs continued to shake from the huge orgasm. Miguel glanced outside of the moving car for a split second before rushing to pull his slacks down. 

"We'll be there in 5, so lets make this quick mi reina," He mumbled, kissing his wife on the lips before leaning back up to thrust into her. Sierra gasped and grabbed her husbands hand as he quickly plowed into her as he tried to get her to finish as she chased his own climax. Miguel tried his best not to moan loud because he knew Nestor would give him shit so he stuck with deep breaths and small grunts. Sierra bit onto her lip as she watched her husband thrust harshly into her.

"You gonna let them know who you belong to amor?" Miguel asked, moving his hand to rub his wife's clit as she came around him. She sporadically and rapidly nodded her head as she tried to push him away but he grabbed both her hands and placed them above her her as he continued his consistent thrusting, now getting to his orgasm as he gave her one more thrust, spilling himself inside her. (I promise I write better smut than this lol.)

"Miguel, we're here." Nestor called from the front. Miguel could hear the sound of the front seat opening before he and Sierra put their clothes on. She straightened herself out, fixing her hair while Miguel pulled up his slacks and buckled his pants back. 

It had just dawned on her about what she was about to walk into. Sierra sighed, not wanting to see anyone's face again, not after what happened but she knew she really had no choice seeing as she willingly got into the car with her husband. 

Miguel noticed her distress, and comforted his wife, "Hey, if you don't want to come in it's your decision."

Sierra smiled at him and shook her head, "No, I want to. Let's go."

The couple made it out of the car, checking their surrounds before a loud voice caught her attention. Miguel whispered to Nestor about keeping a watch on her, the man nodding his head.

"SIERRA! GIRL HEY!" Letty ran up to the pregnant woman and engulfed her in a huge hug, being mindful of her belly. Miguel smiled at the interaction and stated that he was going inside for his meeting with Bishop, to which Sierra smiled and nodded her head before kissing his lips as a temporary goodbye. 

"You're glowing! Miguel really got you out here living your best life." She complimented, looking at her friend. Sierra laughed and rubbed her belly out of instinct. 

"Girl, he is but don't tell him I said that shit. His ego already big as hell." She joked, earning a laugh from the younger girl in front of her. 

"You wanna head inside?" Letty asked after a small moment of silence. Sierra hesitantly smiled and nodded her head. Letty noticed the hesitance.

"If it makes you feel any better, Angel's been a shit show ever since you left. Adelita was pregnant and he thought it was his but turns out it wasn't. So karma's a bitch I guess." Letty explained as the two of them walked to the doors of the clubhouse. Sierra gave a small hum at the new information. She had always told Angel that Adelita was suspect but he clearly was too deep in her pussy to see that until it was too late. 

"I'm married to a good ass man and we got a kid on the way, I could really care less." She stated, walking past Letty to get inside with Nestor following closely behind since she was burning up. It was like a record scratch from those dramatically funny ass movies and suddenly all eyes were on her while some where on her belly. 

Of course they were doing the same banter just like the time Angel got caught only his little Adelita wasn't here. Such a shame. She turned to Nestor with a smile on her face. 

"Could you get me something to drink?" She asked quietly. Nestor gave her a friendly smile and walked to the bar to ask for some water, returning it back to Sierra as she thanked him and took a big gulp from him. She tried her hardest to ignore the stares but it was getting irritating at this point. 

"Are yall gone keep staring or is somebody gone speak?" She asked loudly, scanning the room, and of course the first one to walk up was Angel. Looking past him, Sierra locked eyes with a girl with shoulder length hair, making her squint her eyes at her before the girl broke contact with her and turned around.

"Who knocked you up?" He asked, pointing to her belly before glancing at Nestor who was standing behind him. She smiled at him.

"Not your hoe ass, that's for sure." She replied, pretending to pick at her nails as if she were bored with the conversation already. 

"Mi reina seriously, did you let Miguel knock you up?" Angel asked, hoping to hear a no, but from the smile on her face he knew it was the opposite. Sad to say, he had thought about coming to see  her all the way up until this point, but she clearly was busy with someone else. 

"I'll tell you this. I married the same man who got his heart broken by the bitch your brother constantly fucked. Crazy how their baby wasn't his but EZ's isn't it?  Kinda pathetic if you ask me, taking Miguel's sloppy seconds...so weird." She spoke, every ounce of venom on her voice. She had time to be petty today.

"Did you come here to insult us? If you did you can fucking lea--"

"How's Adelita? Y'know with you cheating on me with her and all one would've thought that you guys would be a big happy family with her being pregnant. Oh wait, they poor baby isn't even yours. So not only did you cheat, you allowed a hoe to run game on you. Crazy." She chuckled, shaking her head at him. Angel knew he should say something, but how could he when everything she's saying is true. As far as Nestor, the only thing he could really do was try not to laugh, since he was told not to start anything unless he felt like someone was physically trying to attack his boss's wife and unborn child. 

"Seriously Sierra, we get that we fucked you over but chill out." Gilly spoke from the other side of the room. Sierra looked at him and sighed. 

"Gilly, if you knew how much dirt I had on you and every person in this room you would shut the fuck up and keep stuffing your fat ass face." Sierra ranted. Where the fuck is Miguel?

"Uhm excuse me but who are you? Angel why are you letting her walk all over you?" One of Vickey's girls asked, standing up to get beside Angel. 

"You do know I can put a price on your head and get you knocked off right? Matter fact lemme just..." She trailed off, pulling out her phone to text Miguel but Nestor grabbed the phone from her hand before she could. One phone call and the entire building will be burned to the damn ground with everyone in it. 

"He just saved your life. Next time you wanna try somebody, try a bitch that ain't me." She hissed, standing up just in time to see her husband walking out of the templo with Bishop, who could clearly feel the tension in the room. Miguel smiled and walked over to his wife as she welcomed him with a hug. 

"She wasn't too much trouble was she?" Miguel asked Nestor, who handed her back her phone. 

"Other than the fact that she just tried to get one of Vickey's girls dead, no, she's been an angel as always." Nestor laughed, stepping back from the two of them.

"Why the fuck did you marry her into this shit? You're too dangerous for her." Angel fussed, scowling at Miguel who turned around with an amused look on his face.

"Angel seriously shut the fuck up. You just don't like the fact that I'm married to the one man everybody in this bitch is afraid of because if he's too dangerous for me then you were as well and yet I STAYED with you and you see where that got me. It took you five years to propose to me while it took him one and a half, and we got married 6 moths later. Like my momma always said, a man knows when he ready to settle down, and you weren't ready and that's okay, but don't try to talk about what the fuck I got going on when you clearly got homegirl in the back over there scared to even say shit with her weak ass but I'm not surprised, you always had to fuck weak bitches because you could never handle a real ass bitch like me. Have a nice life dickface." She ranted, grabbing her husband's hand who was shocked at the confrontation. Any other time Miguel would be the first to speak on something like that but hearing his wife do it for him just made his heart swell with pride. 

"You handled that better than I would have baby, I'm proud of you." He told her as the two of them got into the car. Sierra smiled and leaned into her husbands side as he pulled her closer and kissed her head. 

"Okay now take me home and give me bath." She demanded, causing the other man to throw his head back in laughter.