#it will continue on and heal itself and grow and adapt with or without us

[famewolf]

we have one robin nesting on our backdoor and a family of finches on the roof, right above the window where my desk is. there are flowers everywhere and the air tastes damp like fresh night rain.

there is something about seeing nature grow and claiming every bit of its home that is so relaxing and affirming that things will be ok

[cripplecharacters]

One of my characters in a fanfic is Harriet Hook, daughter of Captain Hook. I was going to have her lose her left hand in an assassination attempt, where someone tried to burn down her house with her brother and sister in it as collateral. The door was barred shut with planks of wood, and, long story short, the fastest way she could get out left her hand severely burned and lacerated, with several shattered bones. If they had access to modern medicine they might have been able to save her hand but, because there wasn't even a way for them to keep if clean until the skin healed, the best they could really do was just amputate it. Like her father she replaced her hand with a hook (having one hand and no hook would make being a pirate kind of difficult,) and then she went from there. I just have a few questions.

Is it reasonable for her to be more angry about the assassination attempt than upset about her hand? Her father has been getting around fine with his hook for her entire life and he raised all three of them with either one hand or a hand and a hook, so she knows it's not the end of the world and that she has a good source on how to adapt to it. She's just more pissed that someone tried to burn her alive.

She later becomes a queen after the war (the war is why someone tried to assassinate her, because she's leading an uprising.) Would it make sense for her to either keep the hook or just go without rather than get a fancier prosthetic? She'll have the option but she already knows how to adapt to life with hook or with just one hand, but a fancy prosthetic, she's never seen anyone with those so it would be uncharted territory and I was thinking she'd prefer to just stick with what works.

Does this fall into the accident trope? I know it happened because someone was purposefully trying to kill her and she purposefully injured her hand because it was either that or let her siblings die and her children grow up without their mother, but it might still count. If so, is there a way I can make it better? I don't want to be disrespectful.

I get this is a long ask and you don't have amputee mods. Hope you all are having a great day!

Hello asker,

Making a note before my answer that we currently do not have any mods who are amputees!

So, to answer your question in parts:

Is it reasonable for her to be more angry about the assassination attempt than upset about her hand?

Yes, this makes sense. People can have a lot of complicated feelings about their disabilities, and to me it makes sense that one of her feelings about the event that caused hers is that what upsets her the most is that someone tried to kill her. Injuries do suck, but when they're caused by someone else's carelessness or malice, knowing or thinking about that can definitely be more upsetting than the injury itself. (Not that it has to be – different people will have different feelings about their respective injuries.)

Would it make sense for her to either keep the hook or just go without rather than get a fancier prosthetic?

Yes, this is definitely something many people in real life do. Here is a link to a post by cy-cyborg on why not all amputees use prosthetics, which also addresses that not all prosthetics work best for all people. In general, people like to stick with familiar things. If she has adapted to using just one hand or one hand and a hook, it makes sense that she could choose to continue doing so. "If it ain't broke don't fix it" type of situation. And as a character decision, her father's use of a hook as opposed to any other kind of prosthetic might influence her decision as well.

Does this fall into the accident trope?

When it comes to upper limb amputations that are not congenital, trauma is one of the more common reasons for them. Trauma (by which i mean physical trauma to the limb) is often accidental, so this isn't necessarily an inaccurate reason for your character to lose her hand.

So while it is an accident, I don't think that makes it automatically a disrespectful portrayal. In fact, your ask makes me think that it is a pretty respectful one. She has adapted to life with her injury and a hook is a common prosthetic even today. I think you've got some good character building blocks here!

Hope this helps,

– mod sparrow

[bruxby]

# The Quiet Before In the floating gardens of the Seventh Heaven, where light itself seemed to pool like liquid gold, the angels gathered in their moments of respite. The last battle had left its mark – not in physical scars, for their celestial forms healed differently than mortal flesh – but in the weight of memory and the echo of clashing wings. Sariel sat cross-legged beneath a tree with leaves of pure light, ancient scrolls hovering before her like suspended droplets of morning dew. Her fingers traced the Enochian symbols as they shifted and rearranged themselves, revealing deeper layers of divine strategy. "The demons adapted," she murmured to herself. "Their formations have evolved since the First War." Nearby, Raziel stood perfectly still in a shallow pool of starlight, his six wings folded close against his back. His eyes were closed, but beneath their lids, galaxies seemed to spin. He was deep in communion with the cosmic forces, seeking patterns in the grand tapestry of creation that might reveal the enemy's next move. The youngest among them, Haniel, knelt in a grove of crystal flowers, her hands clasped in prayer. Unlike her combat-hardened siblings, she had only witnessed two great battles, but the weight of responsibility pressed heavily upon her spirit. "Grant us wisdom," she whispered, and the flowers chimed softly in harmony with her words. "Not just strength to strike, but understanding to know when mercy might turn the tide." Uriel paced the perimeter, his flaming sword temporarily dimmed to a gentle glow. He had taken to studying the archived memories of past conflicts, learning from both victories and defeats. "Brother," he called to Michael, who stood at the garden's edge gazing into the infinite expanse, "I've noticed something in the patterns of their assault." Michael turned, his armor temporarily set aside, wearing only a simple robe that rippled with subtle constellations. "Share your insights," he replied, moving to join his fellow warrior. The commander of the heavenly host had learned long ago that wisdom often came from unexpected sources. In a secluded alcove, Gabriel sat with a chorus of cherubim, teaching them ancient battle hymns whose harmonies could strengthen divine shields and heal wounded spirits. The music drifted through the garden like incense, weaving together with the prayers and meditations of the others. Between them all moved Raphael, the healer, offering guidance and comfort where needed. He paused beside each of his siblings, sharing a word here, a gentle touch there, helping them process the traumas of war without losing their divine compassion. "Remember," he would say, "our strength lies not just in our power, but in our capacity to love even those who oppose us." As the light shifted in what passed for evening in this celestial realm, the angels gradually drew together in a circle. They shared what they had learned – battle strategies and cosmic insights, prayers and revelations, songs of power and words of healing. Their grace mingled and strengthened, preparing them for whatever would come next. They knew the demons would return. They always did. But in these precious moments of peace, the angels found not just rest but growth. Their power was not merely in their divine weapons or thunderous wings, but in their unity, their wisdom, and their unwavering faith in the light they served. As stars began to bloom in the endless sky above their sanctuary, they continued their vigil – learning, growing, and preparing. For when the next battle came, they would face it not just with strength of arms, but with the accumulated wisdom of their contemplation, the power of their prayers, and the unshakeable bond of their celestial fellowship.

[greenlifecannabiss]

Navigating the Landscape: Chelan Medical Marijuana Dispensary

In the heart of Washington State lies a picturesque gem known as Chelan. Nestled amidst rolling hills and serene lakes, this quaint town has recently found itself at the forefront of a growing industry: medical marijuana. The Chelan Medical Marijuana Dispensary stands as a testament to the evolving attitudes towards cannabis and the increasing recognition of its therapeutic potential.

Established in response to the state's legalization of medical marijuana, the chelan county pot dispensaries serves as a beacon of hope for patients seeking alternative forms of treatment. With a commitment to providing high-quality products and personalized care, the dispensary has quickly garnered a loyal following within the community.

At the core of the Chelan Dispensary's ethos is a dedication to education and advocacy. Recognizing the importance of informed decision-making, the staff go above and beyond to empower patients with knowledge about cannabis strains, consumption methods, and dosage guidelines. Whether it's alleviating chronic pain, managing symptoms of anxiety and depression, or providing relief for those undergoing chemotherapy, the team at Chelan Dispensary strives to tailor their recommendations to meet the unique needs of each individual.

In addition to offering a wide range of cannabis products, including flower, edibles, concentrates, and tinctures, the dispensary provides a safe and welcoming environment for patients to explore their options. Gone are the days of clandestine transactions in dimly lit alleyways; instead, patients can now engage in open dialogue with knowledgeable professionals who are committed to their well-being.

Beyond its role as a purveyor of medicinal cannabis, the Chelan Dispensary also plays an active role in community outreach and engagement. From hosting informational seminars to participating in local events, the dispensary seeks to foster dialogue and break down the stigma surrounding cannabis use. By emphasizing the plant's therapeutic properties and advocating for responsible consumption, they hope to pave the way for greater acceptance and understanding.

Of course, operating a medical marijuana dispensary is not without its challenges. Navigating the complex web of regulations and compliance requirements can be daunting, requiring meticulous attention to detail and a deep understanding of the legal landscape. However, the team at Chelan Dispensary remains undeterred, viewing these obstacles as opportunities for growth and improvement.

Looking to the future, the Chelan Medical Marijuana Dispensary is poised to play an even greater role in the lives of patients seeking alternative forms of healing. As attitudes towards cannabis continue to evolve and new research sheds light on its potential benefits, the dispensary stands ready to adapt and innovate, always with the needs of their community at the forefront.

[pharaalex1]

Pain to Resilence

Things happen for a reason, right? That there is a bigger picture than what we are shown that must take time for us to fully recognize and understand regardless of the impact it has on us. There must be a reason for the pain, the suffering, the loneliness, and the abandonment even if the answer isn’t there at some point it will reveal itself, won’t it? This secret mantra you say to yourself in hopes will fill some sense of anguish when it is just a temporary dressing on a gaping wound that continues to slowly bleed out in a never-ending cycle of doubts and what ifs. This cycle of self-loathing and destroying yourself for the hope of something that is now long gone, just as those who have come and gone you will be but a memory, a steppingstone for them become who they want to be without you to only reap the benefits of your presence. This is your punishment for giving yourself so easily, punishment for being careless and selfless. The world is unkind and unforgiving, it is based on survival and for one’s own gain.  

Finally, in the mist of our darkening thoughts we must remind ourselves that though life is merciless there is a silver lining of hope that is a constant motivation that refuses to extinguish. This is something found in all of us, deep within that resilience which gives us the capabilities to grow, adapt and persevere. The punishment that is given to us should not be taken forsaken us but rather trials to overcome and learn our greatest lessons from. You are strong and resilient, there is a light that will never leave if that determination is there. The will to live and survive.   

The path to finding oneself is long and treacherous, but it is a journey that we all must take to find ourselves and what purpose we have in this lifetime even if it doesn’t make sense now. We must come to realize that the pain and suffering we face is not in vain; they should be considering mentors, teachers, and guides pushing us towards a better understanding of not only ourselves but the world around us.  

As time passes, we begin to mend the wounds that plague us, becoming more self-aware of our own needs, and becoming better at discerning who deserves our trust and care. There is a beauty in resilience, power in loving oneself, and placing healthy boundaries to protect what is sacred to you. The idea of giving yourself to someone is not a flaw but rather a gift because in a already unkind world kindness is a strength, not a weakness.  

Yes, while the world can be unkind and unforgiving, it can also be a place where areas of kindness can be found, we are able to build genuine and lasting relationships. The scars of the past will remain and so will the memories but that should not diminish the potential for a better tomorrow. We may not know the reasons behind the pain and suffering, but we must persist on because your strong and nothing will diminish that because on this journey the reason will slowly reveal itself and provide wisdom for us to heal ourselves and become a better version of yourself.   

[drtomherchakowski]

Navigating the Aging Process with Dr. Thomas Herchakowski - Chiropractic Care for Senior Health and Mobility

With the passage of time, the inevitability of aging touches us all. However, this process doesn't necessarily have to be associated with discomfort or reduced mobility. In the recent epoch, chiropractic care, underscored by professionals like Dr. Tom Herchakowski, has surfaced as a significant method for elderly individuals coping with the tribulations associated with advancing years.

The aging process, a natural evolution that affects every facet of our lives, often brings with it a host of physical and mobility-related issues. From aching joints to reduced flexibility, seniors frequently find themselves grappling with the effects of aging on their overall well-being. While conventional medicine has long been a cornerstone of healthcare, chiropractic care is gaining recognition for its unique approach to addressing these challenges.

At the heart of chiropractic care lies the fundamental belief that the body has an innate ability to heal itself. Chiropractors, through a series of manual adjustments, focus on aligning the spine and promoting overall musculoskeletal health. For seniors, this can translate into improved mobility, reduced pain, and enhanced quality of life.

Among the significant advantages of chiropractic treatment is its non-aggressive manner. In contrast to surgical methods or drug-based strategies, chiropractic adjustments focus on treating the underlying source of pain and unease without employing extreme steps. Elderly individuals, who generally prefer to avoid invasive procedures, appreciate the gentle and tailored approach offered by practitioners such as Dr. Tom Herchakowski.

Beyond the physical aspect, chiropractic care also places a strong emphasis on the connection between the spine and the nervous system. This interconnectedness is crucial, especially for seniors, as it can have a profound impact on cognitive function and overall mental well-being. As we age, maintaining a healthy spine becomes increasingly vital, not only for physical mobility but also for sustaining cognitive abilities.

Moreover, practitioners often work in tandem with other healthcare professionals to provide a comprehensive approach to senior health. Collaborative efforts between chiropractors, physical therapists, and primary care physicians can create a more holistic and tailored healthcare plan for seniors, addressing their unique needs and challenges.

In addition to its physical benefits, chiropractic care fosters a sense of empowerment among seniors. By actively participating in their healthcare journey, seniors often find themselves more in control of their well-being. This nutrition and can be a game-changer, influencing lifestyle choices, promoting better nutrition, and encouraging regular exercise – all crucial elements in maintaining a healthy and active lifestyle in the golden years.

We must acknowledge that chiropractic care, such as that offered by Dr. Tom Herchakowski, is not a universal remedy. Every senior's experience is singular, and practitioners appreciate the necessity of adapting their methods to meet individual requirements. This bespoke attention distinguishes chiropractic practices, permitting older adults to benefit from care that extends beyond mere symptom control.

As the awareness of the benefits of chiropractic care continues to grow, seniors are increasingly seeking out these services as part of their healthcare routine. The shift towards a more integrative and patient-centered approach is indicative of a broader trend in healthcare – a recognition that addressing the complexities of aging requires a multifaceted strategy.

As seniors continue to explore the benefits of chiropractic care, one notable aspect gaining attention is its potential role in preventive healthcare. Rather than waiting for symptoms to manifest, many seniors are turning to chiropractic adjustments as a proactive measure to maintain their health and well-being. This preventative approach aligns with a broader shift in healthcare philosophy, emphasizing the importance of holistic practices that address the root causes of ailments before they become major concerns.

Furthermore, the aging process often brings about a decline in the body's natural healing processes. Chiropractic care seeks to counteract this decline by enhancing circulation, promoting optimal nerve function, and encouraging the body's innate ability to heal. Seniors who integrate chiropractic adjustments into their routine often report not only reduced pain and improved mobility but also a heightened sense of overall vitality and resilience.

In the sphere of elder care, the exchange of information between healthcare practitioners and patients is crucial. Exceptionally adept at this are chiropractors, who prioritize spending time to fully comprehend the distinct health backgrounds, worries, and objectives of their patients. This bespoke tactic fosters faith and makes sure that older adults feel acknowledged and esteemed during their health journey. This concentration on dialogue is a vital attribute of the care provided by professionals like Dr. Tom Herchakowski, and it significantly enhances the healthcare experience for seniors.

Chiropractors often incorporate lifestyle counseling into their practice, recognizing the interconnectedness of physical health with other aspects of well-being. Seniors benefit from guidance on nutrition, exercise, and stress management – all crucial components of maintaining a balanced and healthy lifestyle. This comprehensive approach resonates with many seniors who appreciate the opportunity to actively participate in decisions about their health, fostering a sense of autonomy and self-care.

The ripple effects of chiropractic care extend beyond the individual, influencing the broader landscape of senior healthcare. As more seniors embrace this holistic approach, there is potential for a cultural shift in how society views aging. Rather than accepting pain and limited mobility as inevitable consequences of growing older, seniors are challenging these preconceptions and actively seeking solutions that empower them to live life to the fullest.

Effective communication lies at the heart of elder care, with practitioners excelling in understanding their patients' unique health histories, concerns, and goals. This personalized approach instills trust and ensures that older adults feel recognized and valued throughout their healthcare journey. The emphasis on conversation is an essential characteristic of the care offered by Dr. Tom Herchakowski, greatly improving the healthcare experience for the elderly.

[revitalizeorganicstore]

Unlocking the Potential of Scenar Healing Devices

In the realm of holistic and alternative medicine, Scenar healing devices have been gaining recognition for their remarkable therapeutic benefits. These compact handheld devices, which stand for "Self-Controlled Energo Neuro Adaptive Regulator," are designed to stimulate the body's natural healing abilities and alleviate various forms of pain and discomfort. In this article, we'll delve into the world of Scenar healing devices and explore how they work, their applications, and their growing popularity in the healthcare industry.

Understanding Scenar Healing Devices Scenar healing devices were developed based on the principles of biofeedback and neurostimulation. They operate on the idea that the human body has an innate ability to heal itself when stimulated correctly. These devices are equipped with electrodes that deliver low-frequency electrical impulses to the skin's surface, creating a biofeedback loop with the body.

How Scenar Devices Work The Scenar device's electrical impulses interact with the body's nervous system, specifically the skin, and create a response that is unique to each individual. As the device scans and detects areas of imbalance or dysfunction, it adjusts its signal frequency to encourage the body to self-regulate and promote healing. This process is non-invasive, painless, and generally well-tolerated by patients.

Applications of Scenar Healing Devices Scenar devices have a wide range of applications and are commonly used for:

Pain Management: Scenar therapy is often sought after for its effectiveness in reducing both acute and chronic pain. It is used to alleviate conditions such as back pain, joint pain, migraines, and sports injuries.

Rehabilitation: Scenar therapy is valuable in physical therapy and rehabilitation programs, helping patients regain mobility and strength after injuries or surgeries.

Stress Reduction: By promoting relaxation and balancing the autonomic nervous system, Scenar therapy can help reduce stress and improve overall well-being.

Digestive Disorders: Some practitioners use Scenar devices to address digestive issues like irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and indigestion.

Skin Conditions: Scenar therapy may be employed to improve the appearance of the skin and assist in the healing of wounds and scars.

The Growing Popularity The popularity of Scenar healing devices is on the rise due to their non-invasive nature and potential to complement conventional medical treatments. Many healthcare practitioners, including chiropractors, physiotherapists, and holistic therapists, have incorporated Scenar therapy into their practice.

Patients are drawn to Scenar therapy for its ability to provide relief without the side effects associated with pharmaceutical interventions. Additionally, it aligns with the growing trend of seeking natural and holistic approaches to healthcare.

Conclusion Scenar healing devices represent a fascinating intersection of technology and natural healing. Their ability to engage the body's innate healing mechanisms has garnered attention in the medical field and among patients seeking alternative and complementary therapies. As research and understanding of Scenar therapy continue to evolve, it is likely that these devices will play an increasingly prominent role in holistic healthcare.

In summary, Scenar healing devices are more than just innovative gadgets; they offer a potential path to improved well-being and pain relief for those who explore their benefits.

[saturndivine]

The Age of Aquarius (Jupiter + Saturn Conjunction)

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On December 17th, 2020 3:04 AM PST Saturn moves into Aquarius 

On December 19th, 2020 4:36 AM PST Jupiter moves into Aquarius 

On December 21st, 2020 10:20 AM PST Jupiter Conjuncts Saturn [0°29’]

The great conjunction is a historic occurrence between the social planets, Jupiter & Saturn. Most see these two energies as opposites but they both offer us lessons throughout our time on earth. Saturn represents the tough lessons we are meant to learn, what makes us stronger, how we can build ourselves up. Jupiter represents the lessons learned through our natural bestowed blessings, where we thrive, where our power lays when it comes to functioning in the world. 

These two planets will form a conjunction in the sign of Aquarius. Aquarius represents unconventionality, humanitarianism, change, growth, revolution, innovation. Aquarius is the sign that propels life forward, it is ahead of the crowd and leads others without people even knowing it. Expect to feel that personal push towards greatness, do not fight what this conjunction wants to offer you. You are going to feel incredibly uncomfortable and drained within this transit, especially fixed signs, specifically Aquarius placements. 

The key takeaway for everyone within this conjunction: Do not fight change. Do not fight progress. We heal through growth and movement. 

If you’re curious to understand how this transit will affect you most dramatically, look below! Or read here. 

Conjunction Through The Houses [Check the house where Aquarius lays]: 

1st House: As the first house represents the self, this is a self revitalization period, you have been making progress, others see it and you do as well! You aren’t meant to be held back as you were before, that was a time for patience and learning but now is a time for breaking free of the boundaries bestowed upon you and welcome in the rush that this conjunction will offer you. Switch it up, now is the time to transform. 

2nd House: Evaluate what brings you comfort, then understand why it does. Whether it be a person, place, or thing, understand why it brings you relief, to understand how you can seek that safety within your own self. This transit wants you to let go of the conventional items that offer you this sense of peace as all that you are looking for is in yourself. 

3rd House: You’re going to be quite the firecracker this conjunction transit, your mind will be quick and bright and you will feel the need to explore life as it is. Now is the time to buy books, write pages of your thoughts and what you want to receive from this world, dive into a hobby that brings you joy. This transit is about finding the light stored inside of your own being. 

4th House: Look around, take a gander at the people supporting you. Now is the time to support yourself, you are the definition of strength and there is so much power stored within your kind heart. You are constantly looking out for others but use that energy for yourself. In other words, treat yourself! You will partake in lots of healing this season, be prepared for the “ugly” to come out however you will come out bigger and better on the other side. 

5th House: This conjunction transit will have you motivated to connect with every living person on this earth and that’s good! You’ve been confined to the boundaries of your own mind for quite some time but you made it and you have wisdom and beauty that people want to hear and see. Do not limit yourself, make friends, make lovers, create art in the best possible way you know how. 

6th House: You’ve been holding off on your passions, unsure if it’s the right decision, but now is the time to allow those passions to come out. This is the perfect time for you to see the power in the work you do and how you influence many others to follow your lead. You are an innovator, speak up, and speak your truth. Don’t allow yourself to be talked over, life will grant you many opportunities, up to you to take them. 

7th House: Watch out, people are going to fall in love with you. Whether it be friends, strangers, lovers, whether it be platonic or romantic you are going to touch hearts because you will find the power that comes with love. Throughout it all, you move because you are moved. You don’t take those special steps towards greatness until you are impassioned by the path you have chosen. Remember, follow your heart, let that guide you. 

8th House: Your heart may feel as if it’s exploding with power and dynamite. Use all of it, the pain, the angst, the love, the beauty, use it to create, use it to propel you towards your dreams. We all know you have some of the biggest dreams known to mankind and you are possible of achieving all of them, especially in this transit. This house will experience some of the most turbulence but the growth you will experience is astronomical. Prepare for your revolution.

9th House: You’re going to feel a little bit lost during this transit, you of course have your intuition to guide you. Even if you feel like you have never used your intuition, you have, and it’s powerful with this conjunction. You will feel that invisible pull, pay attention to your dreams, pay attention to how your body reacts to certain situations. You should spend a lot of time with yourself if possible, check-in, and understand who you are and where you’re going. 

10th House: Congratulations, you will benefit the most (in my personal opinion) from this transit. You may feel as if you’re experiencing a full 180 and as if all your progress has gotten you nowhere but it hasn’t. In fact, you are on a path to greatness and all you need to do is learn how to welcome what’s coming and accept it. Don’t block your own blessings by ignoring your true path. This is going to be an emotional journey, don’t fight it!!!!

11th House: There is a grand revolution occurring in your life, yes life is flipping you upside down because you have the personal power to achieve what you desire because of the work you continuously put in towards your own greatness. You have made some intense progress and now is the time to be rewarded for it. Teach your skills to those who need them, help guide others on this path of life. It’ll all come back to bless you. 

12th House: Twelfth house transits are usually the hardest as this will affect the deepest wounds of your psyche and pull out what you have hidden away and thought to have drifted into the deepest part of your memory. This is all for good reason, all of this will transform you into what you thought you could never be. You tend to doubt your own power and this transit wants to show you how incredibly mighty you are. 

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Conjunction in Relation to the Signs [Check Rising, Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, & Mars]:  

Aries: This conjunction will cause you to think outside of the box, of course, you usually do but now is the time to use this energy for a cause rather than just yourself. Try to assist others and build up with them. 

Taurus: Life won’t always go as planned and thats to show within this occurrence, find out how you can adapt to the situations rather than shut down. This transit is pushing you out of your comfort zone towards growth through flexibility. 

Gemini: You are prepared for this conjunction, maybe even the most prepared. Your life is all about change, in fact, you aren’t comfortable when confined and prefer change to stability. Try not to get too ahead of yourself, try to discover what you desire most and go after it. 

Cancer: The energy presented during this conjunction may feel as if it’s opposed to your own, your journey is to find that sweet balance amongst it all. Whether it be with work, family, love, or just simply life. Seek that balance. 

Leo: You are definitely about to be shaken up for the better but some stressful days are coming your way however there is good news. You are powerful, powerful enough to jump over these hurdles and understand there is beauty in the pain, you just have to seek it. 

Virgo: Now is not the time to restrict yourself (as you usually do). You have a side to you that is unconventional and free and it will come out during this transit so you should welcome it! Attempt to let loose and let your hair down. Dance, sing, paint, participate in what sets you free.

Libra: I understand that you are the sign of beauty, however, things will get ugly! Don’t run from your emotions this transit, they will make you feel more than you desire to feel, but this will all go into making your soul more beautiful than it already is! Feel all the feels. 

Scorpio: Your personal evolution is a little slow and catered towards yourself (as it should be) however, this period of time will force you to evolve and grow faster than you thought you ever could. Embrace it rather than hide from it, you are capable of accomplishing so much more in little time. 

Sagittarius: You’re going to feel this intense sensation of freedom and this can easily overwhelm you and burn you out if you don’t pace yourself! Think long and hard about where you want to go and what you want to be and then move. Impulsivity is strong this transit, don’t let it get you into trouble 

Capricorn: You were pushed to your limit with the last Saturn/Jupiter transition and you put in so much work towards your development. Now you can use those special skills acquired for this transit. Your job here is to learn to let go and simply be. You cannot control life itself, you can only control yourself! 

Aquarius: It’s your age! Now life won’t be easy because of this, in fact, you will be removed from your [fixed sign] comfort zone and propelled out into the world because you are leading this revolution. You are meant to act as a teacher, encourage, embrace, inspire! Speak your mind, manifest, create beauty. You are unstoppable during this time, try not to let all this energy go to waste.  

Pisces: You may feel as if you’re floating throughout this transit and your task is to find your footing. Stay on earth because you are meant to learn from what is happening, analyze it, pay attention. This is a period of intense change and you should not miss it. 

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Personal Predictions: A move towards equality in aspects of human life; justice for people of color [victims of police brutality, children in cages, those harmed through immigration, women in the face of gender oppression, & more], LGBTQA+ acceptance and openness [The Rise of Queerness], Wealth equality [class uprisings]. Restaurants transitioning to cruelty-free, vegan/vegetarian options, specifically fast-food businesses. Throwing away the tradition of family [Nuclear family, traditional pregnancy processes, finding family rather than being born into one].

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

And the aftermath of the first battle. Featuring more OFA talk!

[No. 34 - Victory or Defeat]

The cover art for this chapter is actually pretty gorgeous. Like, wow, that HAIR. It looks so damn soft I can’t even.

Getting into the chapter itself, we get just shy of a page of flashback to Shinsou’s middle school. Several students are talking about how cool Shinsou’s quirk is, how they’ve never heard of a quirk like it, how jealous they are. One student comments on how he could make all kinds of trouble with it, while another adds on that it’d be without getting his hands dirty. She then asks Shinsou not to go around controlling them. 

Past Shinsou just laughs it off and notes how everyone says that, with his internal narrative thinking about how he’d also expect bad things from someone with his ability. That person would probably turn into a criminal - a villain, even. So he’s used to everyone implying that about him. That’s just how the world works.

Back in the present, we see Shinsou gritting his teeth, while Izuku is standing over him, a bit bloody and beaten, but still victorious. Present Mic again confirms Izuku is going to the second round. Up in the stands, Kaminari nudges Katsuki’s shoulder with his own, noting how Izuku had also gotten him with that shoulder toss. Katsuki looks a bit put out, I guess? Or just distracted. He calls Kaminari dunce face, which gets a fantastic face out of Kaminari.

Artwork. 

There’s a bit here about Izuku using a baiting tactic that I’m not sure whether is from Katsuki or Aizawa, since Aizawa’s thought process continues in the next panel. In either case, I am certain it’s Aizawa noting how Izuku was concentrating his quirk in just his finger, like the strength test and the throw in battle training. Izuku’s been learning from those experiences - or rather, said experiences have forced him to adapt. 

As Shinsou and Izuku bow (or at least Izuku does), Present Mic comments on how the event is off to an uneventful start, before encouraging the crowds to put their hands together for their fierce competitors. As the crowds do so, Izuku is thinking about Shinsou’s words, being ‘naturally blessed’ and ‘getting to follow his dreams.’ Eventually, Izuku asks why Shinsou wants to be a hero. Shinsou turns away to start leaving the platform while replying that ‘we don’t get to choose the things we naturally admire.’

Izuku vibes deeply with this, thinking about how those feelings are just like how Izuku was before he got One For All. But as he is now, what does he say to that?

Shinsou gets his own surprise, however, when his classmates start shouting their praises from the stands above the entryway. One says how awesome Shinsou had been out there, another on how he’d had them on the edge of their seats, a third on Shinsou being the shining star of the general studies guys, and a fourth on how he’d done just as well as the guy who’d gotten third in the obstacle course (Katsuki). Shinsou looks like he has no idea how to process this. And if that’s not enough, the heroes in the crowds are also talking about him and his quirk with no small amount of admiration.

...oh man, wait, do I spy Miss Joke there with the crowds?

Why, yes it is! I don’t know if her character was fully planned or background developed at this point, but I suppose Hori must have elevated hr to more than a one-off appearance at some point. Perhaps liked her relatively simple design?

But yeah, we shift back to Shinsou and the other gen ed students as the latter point it out, and repeat how awesome he is. Shinsou says nothing for a moment, hesitating at the entrance, before speaking to Izuku. UA will consider transfers to the hero course depending on the results here. Remember that. Maybe he failed here, but he’s not giving up. He’ll show UA he’s got what it takes to make the hero course, and he’ll become a greater hero than all of the other students. 

Izuku accepts this driven challenge, only to get caught in Shinsou’s quirk again. Izuku’s confused, because the match is already over. Shinsou comments on how people who respond to him tend to stiffen up like that, and how it’d be easy to mess everything up for Izuku just now. But instead he just demands a promise as he lets Izuku loose from his quirk - don’t lose in a sorry way out there. Izuku agrees again, only to again be temporarily caught in Shinsou’s quirk.

Also, it's a teeny thing here, but I know there's been people (not necessarily in here, but in general) who've questioned how shinsou's quirk works, and from here in the sports festival, what I can at least determine is this:

-his quirk can affect multiple people at once

-people don't remember what they were doing under the quirk's effect (barring Izuku for Reasons)

-his quirk takes effect when he chooses after someone responds verbally to him (sign language or writing don't work)

-it can be a statement or question someone responds to!

-general non-word noises, or non-directed sounds (ie izuku's growls of exertion) don't work as targets for shinsou's quirk

Anywho, with that, we transfer over to Recovery Girl’s temporary office, where Izuku is getting himself healed up while Toshinori hovers nearby nervously. Izuku admits that he couldn’t smile at all, and Toshinori considers that and figures this must have been a tough battle for him, given what Shinsou was saying. Izuku replies that that doesn’t make it okay for him to lose; when you’re aiming for the top, that’s just how it is, right?

Recovery Girl is not impressed with the ‘life lessons’ Toshinori is passing on to Izuku, spinning around to wallop Toshinori on his non-injury side. Toshinori tries to reply that it’s all necessary, only to be interrupted by said wallop and yelp in pain. While Toshinori is nursing his poor abused ribs, Izuku brings up the vision he had. 

He saw eight or nine shadows - not sure on that - when his mind was lulled from the brainwashing, the vision appeared and snapped him out of it. In that instant, he was just barely able to move his fingertip. One of them had Toshinori’s hairstyle… so could it have been the souls of the people who have inherited One For All?

Now, a few things I have to say to this: 

First off, holy SHIT did Izuku already pretty much hit the nail on the head for what’s happening here. We obviously don’t really get more about this for, what, a hundred and fifty or so chapters? I dunno when the JTA is in the manga exactly, so I’m probably off, but even before then, there’s only a few hints here and there about the whole ‘ghost’ thing happening - and yet, Izuku already is kinda sus of what’s happening after just one vision. 

Secondly, while it’s way more likely that it’s Izuku being scared and confused that has him questioning the number of shadows he saw there, I also really love how it’s a perfect set-up for something Fishy if Hori so wants, while also allowing an out if he doesn’t want. It’s like, does the number mean something, or is it just a scared schoolkid struggling to remember details he only glimpsed for a moment?

In any case, we move on to Toshinori’s response to this strange vision. Mostly in that he finds it kinda scary. Izuku is confused, because he was sure Toshinori would know. Toshinori admits that he did see them once when he was young, and that it’s a clear sign Izuku is getting used to One For All. 

At Izuku’s visible confusion, Toshinori continues - the shadows are traces of the quirk’s past bearers. But whatever they are, they can’t directly interfere or influence Izuku. Nor can Izuku affect them. In other words, that vision wasn’t what undid the brainwashing. Rather, it was Izuku’s protagonist powers strong will that allowed him to see those faces - and as far as Shinsou’s brainwashing, Izuku overcame it! Just for an instant! He managed to move that fingertip all on his own.

Izuku isn’t convinced, but Toshinori chastises him, telling him not to dwell on it, and shouldn’t he be worrying about his next opponent instead? Izuku agrees, and thanks both him and Recovery Girl before heading out. Only once Izuku is gone does Recovery Girl note that Toshinori’s shadow had been there too. Toshinori replies how that’s not a bad thing.

My take on this whole scene?

But yeah, it definitely is interesting how early Hori outright told us what was happening with One For All, only for it to be dismissed by Toshinori and a good chunk of the audience. I mean, I don’t know if Hori was planning everything with the vestiges and the other quirks at this point, but he sure laid the groundwork here, and I kind of love it. 

Anywho, moving on from that, we shift over to Shouto making his way towards the arena for his own fight, only to run into the last person he wants to see - Endeavor. Shouto tells Endeavor to get out of his way, but Endeavor ignores him, instead calling Shouto a disgrace to him. He harps on about how Shouto could have crushed the obstacle course and the cavalry battle if he’d used his left side. Shouto says nothing as he marches himself past his father. 

Endeavor tells Shouto to grow up, and stop rebelling like some petulant child. His duty is to surpass All Might. He’s different from his siblings - Endeavor’s greatest creation! Shouto asks if that’s all Endeavor has to say, then states how he’ll win this with his mom’s power alone. He’ll never use Endeavor’s power in battle. Endeavor states how that might be good enough while he’s a schoolkid, but he’ll reach his limit soon enough. 

Shouto is… not in a good headspace. As we’ll see momentarily. 

Izuku joins Ochako and Tenya in the stands while Present Mic starts to announce the participants of the next match. Sero Hanta, the cream of the crop, and yet somehow still as plain as they come! Versus Todoroki Shouto, the best of the best, strongest of the strong! 

The match starts as Sero finishes stretching himself out, stating how he doesn’t really feel much like winning. His arms then snap forward, the tape rushing out to wrap around Shouto. Sero tugs back, yoinking Shouto into position to be swung out of the arena. Present Mic hypes up the surprise attack maneuver, and how it’s probably the best strategy for him, overall complementing how Sero’s giving it his all. Shouto, still somewhat mad-eyed, apologizes, and then-

...yikes. How Sero (or any audience members in the way) didn’t die here is a show of Shouto’s astounding control here, even if it doesn’t seem like it. The entire stadium is dead silent as Sero calls the move a bit overkill. Midnight, half-frozen as well, tentatively asks Sero if he can move. Sero asks if she’s kidding, before the frostbite starts getting to him and he starts biting back pained hisses. Midnight announces Sero’s loss, and the crowds are… pretty sympathetic, calling out good tries to him. 

Shouto steps forward to start defrosting Sero, apologizing for overdoing it, stating that he’d just been annoyed. Up in the stands, Izuku watches on, with his future narration noting that, lost amid the cheers that arose from the audience, he saw Shouto defrost his own frozen self with his left hand. And to Izuku… something about Shouto seemed really sad. 

Shouto is announced to be moving on to the second round, and the chapter closes.

Holy shit. This chapter is actually really something, and not just because of One For All. But still, it really is fascinating to see what groundwork laid early on in the series ended up being used way down the line by Hori as he got more comfortable with the direction he wanted his story to go in. 

Anywho, see you next time for the last chapter of volume four! Which means the next bonus material post is upcoming. And I can just say there’s some interesting stuff in that as well…

[eclecticvalor]

7 Things I experience as a DID System. Mental Health Awareness Month.

In light of May being America’s mental health awareness month, I wanted to talk about something that has consumed my entire life for the past year and a half: Treatment and healing from a disorder that is stigmatised into the ground by poor representation and misunderstandings both socially and in the medical field. Those who are close to me know first hand how my symptoms and experiences have shaped the way I interact with the world since starting treatment, but aside from my closest friends and family, and the people I live with, I don’t normally talk about the fact that I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, and what that means to me. 

Hi. My name is Atlas, some people call me Cadyn, and I am the primary host of 26 fragmented parts of my consciousness. I am not dangerous, none of my parts or alters are dangerous, and no, it is not like “Split”. 

Dissociative Identity Disorder is a trauma based dissociative disorder listed in both the DSM IV and V,  and is recognized as an uncommon disorder characterized by two or more distinct personality states existing within the same consciousness. These personality states come to be when natural childhood development is disrupted by severe, continued, or repetitive, trauma, the child has a natural inclination towards heavy dissociation, and a lack of adult or parental support to develop the means to cope with the things happening to them.

Unfortunately popular mental health media has seen an uptake in people viewing DID as a quirky “trait”, the ability to have functional imaginary friends living in your head... but in reality DID is a lot darker, a lot scarier, and isn’t something I’d wish upon my worst enemy. Because of this media spike I wanted to share 7 things that living with Dissociative identity disorder means to me

1. Amnesia

Living with DID means that I miss out on a lot of my life. A primary symptom of DID is amnesia. I have no solid memories before the age of 13, and the memories I do have are often skewed, incorrect, or completely false as my brain fought for a way to fill in gaps and cope with the loss of memory. I forget a lot, and not just things like forgetting where I left my wallet and keys, or forgetting the day - those do happen, but I also mean forgetting big things, important life experiences and things I wish with all my being that I could remember like my highschool graduation and my wedding reception. 

I often forget important day to day things that make it difficult to maintain life as an adult, like doctors appointments, work schedules, meetings, and important daily tasks. I’ll forget that I’ve eaten at all that day and risk going days without eating, or overeating due to having no recollection of the last time I’d eaten. I forget birthdays (especially my own), anniversaries, and important holidays. 

To an outsider, who has no idea what’s happening inside my head, this can come across as though I’m thoughtless or unreliable. That I am cold for forgetting an important date, or simply that I just don’t care when this very much is not the case. 

2. Alienation

Oftentimes DID comes with a sense of alienation from people who you’re supposed to know. For me a really clear example of this is when I previously mentioned my childhood memories being skewed - I have a clear memory of a conversation I was having with some blood relatives a few years back in which I mentioned that one family member I had happy childhood memories of, and remembered playing together as kids, but with another family member they were practically a stranger to me. I had, and still have, no memories of ever spending time with them growing up, no memories of having any kind of relationship with them at all. My understanding of our relationship was that it was “forced” because we were family and our parents expected us to exist in the same space as we grew up, but that we never talked. But I was informed by a separate member of the family that I was very wrong, and this “stranger” was actually someone I had been close to growing up. This is a common experience with DID patients, and also a very frustrating one. It creates feelings of “You know me but I don’t know you”, and it’s extremely difficult to trust your own judgement of the people you know, because you often can’t tell if your judgement is skewed by your memories or lack thereof. 

3. PTSD and Flashbacks

A diagnosis of C-PTSD (Or complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is required for a diagnosis of Dissociative Identity Disorder. This means that while the individual symptoms of DID can be frustrating, scary and sometimes depressing, the most difficult aspect of DID, and the most important to focus on in treatment is the PTSD symptoms. 

PTSD symptoms in DID can be extremely powerful due to the additional dissociative aspect. This can mean that for a lot of DID patients, flashbacks can produce full blown body sensations, hallucinations and terrifying delusions. This is One thing that I find incredibly difficult to talk about, but I also believe is extremely important to understand. It can be embarrassing, shameful and while I only speak for myself in saying this, can cause a lot of guilt and grief. There have been times where I have been experiencing powerful flashbacks and did not recognize my own husband, resulting in lash outs and fear towards him being delusioned into thinking that he was out to hurt me, or had harmful intent for just existing in the same space as I was. 

For me, a single wiff of a familiar smell, hearing a sound, a certain color, an idea, a name, a passing thought or comment can throw my previously stable mental state into one of pure panic, hyperventilation, hallucination, delusion, fight-flight-freeze and reactionary responses. Through treatment I’ve developed adaptive and healthy coping skills and management responses but trauma responses can be so quick, and so unexpected that I don’t always have time to process my coping skills before my body and mind respond in negative ways. 

4. Decision making and skewed Behavior

Because living with DID, means living with a shared or fragmented consciousness, this often means that while I may not remember, my life is still being lived during my time of memory loss. Alters or parts will take control and operate my body, reacting to things, interacting with people, completing tasks and functioning. But oftentimes parts who take control are very different from myself, and make choices and decisions that I wouldn’t normally make, and sometimes decisions I wouldn’t *ever* make. An example of this is the fact that technically I am a conservative voter, despite myself as an individual having leftist or NDP views, or decisions to leave or apply for jobs and work positions that I have no interest in, or that I don’t even have the qualifications or physique to do, or leaving ones that I personally loved and excelled at. This also reflects a lot in everyday life in more subtle things, decisions like what food to eat, things to buy, activities to do shift between parts while they’re in control. 

To outsiders this can look a lot like impulsivity, lack of self-control, or lack of a sense of identity. This is a huge reason why a lot of DID patients are often misdiagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder or Bipolar Disorder because the behaviour between alters can be so drastically different that it can look a *lot* like manic or depressive states. 

5. Denial and Dismissing Trauma

A very common experience among DID patients is denial and being dismissive or disregarding the things that happened to them. I often find myself in a state of questioning whether my symptoms, my disorder, and even my trauma were ever real to begin with. In therapy I find myself saying “It’s not that big of a deal” or “It wasn’t that big of a deal” more times than I’m actually saying anything productive. A huge part of this is why I wanted to make this list, because the media, and a lot of medical circles deny that DID exists or believe it’s impossibly rare and those, while both false, can cause intense feelings of “Maybe I’m just doing this for attention”. DID is a very real, very difficult disorder to diagnose, to treat, and to live with disorder, and while it is uncommon, statistics show that approximately 1-2% of western population is diagnosed, and up to a suspected 7% are living with the disorder undiagnosed because of these misconceptions. It is not common, and it’s not something that everyone is going to have, but it is a very possible response to very real trauma and is a valid diagnosis to give to those meeting the criteria. 

6. Hidden Symptoms

DID is often referred to as a “covert” presenting disorder. What this means is that most commonly outsiders, friends, family, employers and even the patient themselves can have a nearly impossible time recognizing the symptoms, and it often goes unnoticed until an event destabilizes the function of the person’s life. This can lead to a lot of backlash or denial coming from peers and family close to the person. This leads to the patient hearing a lot of:  “I’ve never noticed personality changes”, “You don’t act like you have it”, “You couldn’t possibly have that”, “No, I would have noticed”, “You have to be mistaken”, “There’s no way, it would have been obvious”. And so, so much more. The reality of DID is that it’s *not* noticeable. It’s a safety response that the brain created to protect the psyche from the intense damages that come with long term trauma experiences, so it’s often designed to hide itself from abusers or perceived threats as a way to compartmentalize trauma memories and maintain the ability to survive through stress and unstable situations. Not being able to “notice” is kind of the point in most cases.

 7. Wandering and Dissociative Episodes

Living with untreated or unmanaged DID can potentially be dangerous due to episodes of dissociation, “wandering” experiences (where the patient will wander away from home, family, or life in a confusion, attempt to return to a perceived life never lived, or in a state of belief that their current life is unsafe). For me this took a head last year, and was actually an event that led to the solidification that this disorder was the explanation to my experiences. According to nurses and my husband, I had wandered into the emergency room of a hospital in the middle of the night, with no idea who or where I was, with no idea how to return home, or even where home was. I was wearing a t-shirt, and it had been raining, and my body was so cold they needed to retake my vitals nearly 6 times because they were unable to get an appropriate reading. After discovering my identity, my husband was called to take me home. Working with a therapist helped to develop a safety plan during events like this to prevent harm from coming to my body, or from ending up in newly traumatic environments, but I was lucky. These situations can lead to re-traumatization, victimization, it can lead to kidnapping, assault, it can lead to being injured or harmed by environmental factors and so much more and it is so incredibly important that DID patients work with their therapist to develop solid safety plans proactively to make sure that the patient doesn’t experience any worst case scenarios during episodes like this. 

Conclusion

My experiences are individual to me, and to my psyche. Not everyone will experience the disorder the same way, because not everyone experiences or responds to trauma the same way. I am so lucky, and extremely privileged to be able to access consistent care and treatment, that I found a professional who trusts me, and is focused on stabilizing and supporting. Too many people living with this disorder have no access to supportive mental health care because of the misconceptions that parts of the medical field hold regarding the legitimacy or frequency that the disorder develops, and too many peers and circles of people outcast or disregard the very real, very difficult experiences because they don’t understand the disorder, or believe it doesn’t exist, or believe it looks like split. If you, or someone you know is struggling with Dissociative symptoms, or dissociative identity disorder do not be afraid to reach out to a professional for support, and educate yourself on the reality of the disorder. 

[borkthemork]

Color Symbolism - How Steven’s Shirts Portray Different Portions of His Life

A quiet musing from last night had me thinking about this and I knew I had to do a bit more in explaining. But basically, throughout the three main SU mediums — the main SU show, the SU movie, and SU Future — we all know the main color schemes Steven adorns himself regarding his star shirts. We have salmon pink, bright blue, and the heavy black he likes to tow around, but looking into the way these colors were implemented is what we will dive into.

Color themes and symbolism are very potent with Steven Universe. From the use of pinks, yellows, whites, blues, and the menagerie of other colors we could think of, Rebecca Sugar and the crew put a lot of deliberate thought into the design, especially on a thematic level.

For Steven, not only do his shirts represent a very iconic symbol towards the show as a whole, but it represents the main arcs and emotional statuses of our main character throughout the show’s running.

Edit (11/30/19): For sourcing, I’ll be putting the links to stuff I’m referring to in my reblogs. However, my post already got hit off the radar because of Tumblr’s broken algorithm, so if you liked this post then I would be grateful if you could help reblog and spread the word as well!

And with that, let’s begin.

Pink - The Arc of Innocence and Nurture

Pink harbors a lot of connotations regarding femininity in Western culture (and even a good load of masculine connotations in Eastern tradition) but it has a lot more than that under its belt.

It represents tenderness, cultivation, gentle love, nurture, safety, optimism, strength, but most importantly the color itself is seen as non-threatening, calming to one’s eyes, inviting to people.

But with this optimism comes the consequences of lack of awareness or vision. How do you think the concept of rose-colored glasses ever came about? It’s always the idealism or ignorance of the person that allows them to not see red flags or the reality of it all.

And with that, we could start connecting this to Steven Universe.

Throughout the five seasons, this boy always had this priority of being involved with the people and figures in his life as a therapeutic role model. He wants to heal the corrupted gems; he sees empathy and nuance in people’s struggles, and this mindset definitely kept going up to the point of CYM and onwards.

He sees the best in people and wants to encourage them to get onto the path of improvement and healing. There’s definitely innocence at the start, even if his life and the show’s antagonists challenged him to the brink.

However, the lack of vision could be found way back to the start of episode one. Season one was a slow burn of information since the POV showed that his family dynamic was never challenged to him because y’know, it’s his family, they’re gems, and they fight monsters. It portrays his mother as an amazing person to his parental figures, a martyr who loved everything and everyone. There doesn’t seem much for him to challenge at the start because that’s what his reality is, his status quo. He never questioned it. Why would he challenge something that he believes is the norm?

Of course, this illusion of a perfect family does get chipped away. With each episode that showed his family as flawed — with the world around him starting to expand more with information, his understanding towards the severity of the situation and what his status is gets questioned.

Steven will continue to keep his cheerful paradigm, but weariness has implanted a seed into him (among many other emotional issues from upbringing, but we’ll talk about that farther along).

Blue - Stability and Tranquility

The contexts for blue could vary a lot. Very polarizing definitions such as the relation to inebriation, water, and everything in between could dampen the straight-forward process on how to analyze the color associations further; it makes sense for this polarization since the use of it in the ancient and contemporary world isn’t rare, particularly in its application towards clothing, art, and other forms of creation.

But what we’re going to focus on is the sky (or light) blue, the one that Steven tows around before and amid the SU movie. It’s a color that’s mainly associated with the sky, hence the listed qualities found.

”Light (sky) blue: peace, serenity, ethereal, spiritual, infinity (The origin of these meanings is the intangible aspects of the sky.)” -Color Matters

Jill Morton, a color psychologist, also states that the color has a connection to conservatism, passivity, security, and introversion (which are important for later).

For now, let’s talk about Steven and his main goals.

Steven, throughout his two years of intergalactic diplomacy, became focused on bringing about a new form of Homeworld, cited in the game as him deteriorating the former authority doctrine and allowing people to do activities that aren’t limited by their former caste system. And with this, he brings forth the aim of peace and tranquility.

Cue the events of SU the Movie. Now at 16, Steven has been hinted to have never had full-on rest for the past two years he’s been doing his duties to the Era 3 reformed Homeworld. In his announcement, he declares that he wants to finally go back now that everything with the former empire is stable enough for them to function without him.

His main goal now is to relax, have time for himself, and gain his “happily ever after”. And we all know that this attachment to this idea will be played out for much of the storyline, to where it becomes one factor for him in a whole slew of others that prevents him from channeling his gem capabilities.

The catalyst towards him returning is through the concept of change, the ability for him to grow and adapt even throughout the trauma and pressure; Steven, in this movie, however, didn’t realize this because he was already at a state of his life where he just wanted a break from the morphing status quo. He wants a moment to himself, away from the anxiety of responsibilities placed on his shoulders at the age of bloody 14, and overall, just allowing himself to be a kid again.

Yet, even with him helping Spinel and returning life back to the Earth’s poisoned areas, Steven admits to the prospect of never having a happily ever after, and that he’ll “always have more work to do”.

This is where the color of his shirt changes, and with it, the break of Steven’s ideal stability.

Black - Aggression, Power, and Death

But with the expectation of stability for Steven’s life crushed after the events of the movie, I found it very interesting that his blue shirt wasn’t seen or even used anywhere from the stills and trailer shots we’ve seen.

This could be a deliberate usage on Rebecca’s part to discern SU Steven, SU Movie Steven, and SU Future Steven, but I’d like to believe that in-universe, Steven’s wanting to change into black-colored apparel is a mental choice on his part. For black, in color psychology, is a color that protects...and conceals.

“In color psychology this color gives protection from external emotional stress. It creates a barrier between itself and the outside world, providing comfort while protecting its emotions and feelings, and hiding its vulnerabilities, insecurities and lack of self confidence.” -Empoweredbycolor

A great deal of SU content creators have pointed out that Steven, for the entirety of his own life, has been brought up with the idea that emotional vulnerability, no matter how potent or minuscule, can become a weapon or a pain for not only their own being but for the people around them.

I can’t delve too much into it, sadly, but I will link to posts that commentate more on this in my reblogs.

His upbringing has brought him to the paradigm of repression, where his own priorities and needs are swept to the side for other people — even extending to the whole body of Homeworld because of the way he handled his diplomacy. He had to solve other peoples’ problems; he placed himself rock bottom in importance, and now he’s suffering the consequences for it.

Out of all the pieces of symbolism here, black is the most void and mysterious because of its absence of color. It’s used a good amount of the time as a motif of authority, power, and fear, but the ones I’d like to hone in on are death and the concept of being overwhelmed.

Now, we have no clear indication over how the series will go but hear me out. I don’t think a physical death would apply in this situation but more of a metaphysical death — a death of one’s current self.

We find Steven at a crossroads: it will bring his personal imbalance out in the worst ways, and through the fact that the sypnosis foretells of him handling powers uncontrollable by his cognition, then we know that this is a force that’ll bring him into strife over who he is and what he wants.

What does he truly want for his future and how will he come about it?

In Joseph Campbell’s template called The Hero’s Journey, a hero’s death has to come about by a new revelation, a new form of meaning and objective than what they originally intended. The death of one idea will then lead to the true answer, something new the character hasn’t explored but wants to explore since the concept’s been there from the beginning, yet needed a push for it to be unveiled.

”Black is the end, but the end always implies a new beginning. When the light appears, black becomes white, the color of new beginnings.” -Empoweredbycolor

If Steven has been chasing for a happily ever after for most of his life, then a paradigm shift will have to occur.

He must face the brunt of his problems, and in this, he’ll find the answer.

[carewyncromwell]

Judging by this picture of what looks like a stained glass slipper, I’d say we’re about to continue the Cinderella AU!

One of the best ways to deal with an anxiety attack is to ground oneself in the present situation. A common technique is the 54321 Method, which Carewyn doesn’t display here, but she does end up (without realizing it) evoking the idea of grounding by accenting her physical presence and encouraging Orion to take deep breaths. 

All of the lines Orion spouts while Carewyn runs away are ones the Prince in Disney’s animated version of Cinderella cries, when his mysterious lady love runs from him. It amuses me to no end how in so many magical Cinderella adaptations, it takes whole minutes for the clock to strike twelve -- in the case of the animated/live action Disney versions, so many that we even get a full chase scene for the pumpkin coach in that time. 😂

Trigger warning for a brief mention of suicidal thoughts. 

Previous part is here -- whole tag is here -- Katriona “KC” Cassiopeia belongs to @kc-needs-coffee -- and I hope you all enjoy!

x~x~x~x

Orion led Carewyn down the hall at a run, unable to break free of the happy adrenaline that pulsed through him. Some people in the hall outside the ballroom eyed the young king and his enchantingly striking partner curiously as they passed, but neither of the two paid them much mind. Orion rounded a corner with Carewyn, passing a large gold-trimmed grandfather clock as it tolled 11. Once they’d gotten around the corner, he opened a wall and pulled her into the secret passage behind it, out of sight from anyone who might pursue them. 

Once through the passage, Orion dashed up a flight of stairs with Carewyn, up, up, up, toward the upper levels. At last, when they reached the top of the stairs, he opened another passage, which opened up onto the landing of the battlements on the top floor of Florence’s castle. 

The cold winter wind gushed around them, tiny traces of snowflakes trailing through the air as Carewyn and Orion stepped out. As soon as they were outside, Carewyn gave a start at the odd smell that touched her nose. Curious, she moved out to the edge of the ramparts -- and she gasped.

The sea. 

The odd smell was the salt of the spray from the Southern Sea, only a few miles from the back of Florence’s palace. It was so dark out that Carewyn could hardly see the lightless buildings between the palace and sea, and yet she could still make out the ethereal white sea foam in its grayish black depths. Its waves rushed at the shore, sounding like some kind of resonating whisper that never needed extra breath to sustain itself, and its growing and shrinking waves sparkled in the moonlight. 

Carewyn exhaled, her lips spread into a wide open smile of awe. Orion came up behind her, watching her. 

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” 

Carewyn couldn’t take her eyes off of it. “It’s...it’s breathtaking.”

Orion slowly approached her, his eyes trailing along her shoulder and down her back with an oddly unreadable look. Once he’d come up just behind her, he very slowly extended a hand. It lingered uncertainly in mid-air for a moment, before it tentatively made contact with her back, exposed by the cut of her dress.

Carewyn flinched, unable to hold back a gasp of both surprise and pain. Orion pulled his hand away at once.

“Forgive me,” he said. His voice betrayed some anxiety.

Carewyn looked at him. Orion’s unflappable face had lost a lot of its color under his mask and his black eyes flickered the way her white horse’s would when it was nervous. 

“I can't see any injuries,” he explained, “but I can feel them there all the same.”

His eyes narrowed a bit upon her face.

“...Who...who delivered those lashes to your back?”

Carewyn’s blue eyes rippled with sorrow. “Orion -- ”

“Who?” Orion asked again. His voice was tenser than she’d ever heard it. 

Carewyn couldn’t look him in the eye. She tore her gaze away, looking out toward the sea again as she clutched the railing with both hands. 

“...My grandfather,” she said at last, very softly. “I...‘acted inappropriately.’”

Orion did not respond. The silence dragged, to the point that it had become deafening. When Carewyn finally felt brave enough to look back over at Orion, she saw that he’d migrated to the railing himself a short ways away, clasping his hands very tightly together as he looked out at the sea. His head was bowed, his face largely obscured by the darkness, but he was taking very deep, heavy breaths. 

Carewyn’s heart clenched. She moved to him, bringing a hand to rest on his shoulder. 

“Orion, I’m -- ”

“Don’t say you’re all right.”

Orion’s voice was very soft, but harder than Carewyn had ever heard it before. It made her stiffen, her grip on his shoulder faltering -- her partial withdrawal seemed to affect Orion, making him whirl around and seize her hand in both of his, as if desperate to keep her close. 

“A whip is a tool only used to cause pain -- a tool with no other use besides that,” he said. He spoke in a faster, tenser voice than normal: one that, although misty as ever, was turbulent in a way Carewyn had never heard. “Therefore it can never be used to spark any good in this world. It leaves scars that never heal -- that designate you as subhuman and your suffering as insignificant -- that make people cringe at the sight of them, wondering what crime you’ve committed or what lowly status you must be, to have earned them, when truly it says more about the person who inflicted them on you than it ever could you -- ”

“Orion...” Carewyn whispered.

Orion’s eyes were flashing with an odd emotion, one hard and blazing like a flame under a shell of hard black diamond. It took Carewyn a moment to realize it was anger. 

“You’re so strong,” he said, his shaking voice very hushed and rambling even as his breathing grew more irregular. “You’ve always been so resilient, and I don’t want to demean that, but -- but you shouldn’t have to be that strong! You shouldn’t have to downplay the suffering you’ve gone through! You shouldn’t have to stay locked in the dragon’s keep and endure, and I shouldn’t have -- ”

He choked. His black eyes pulsed with emotion as he clutched more desperately at her hand and he gasped for air. 

“ -- I never should’ve left you to him! I should’ve taken you away, far away, regardless of what you told me, regardless of the consequences, regardless of what your family or our countries or anyone else might do or say -- ”

“Orion!”

Carewyn pulled her hand out of his and brought both of her hands up to his face, cradling his cheeks. Orion trembled in her hold, breathing very heavily and his hands clutching at the air in front of him. 

“Orion,” she whispered, “shhh...shh, shh...”

She moved in, placing her forehead against his.

“Breathe,” she said as gently as she could, slowing her breath and speech down to try to  subconsciously encourage him to follow suit. “Breathe...I’m here...I’m here...”

Orion inhaled and exhaled shakily. At first his eyes were locked on hers, flaring with more of that anger, anguish, and anxiety -- then they fluttered shut, and he threw his arms out to wrap both of them around her, cradling her against him with his arms crossed over her back and clutching at her shoulders. He breathed in and out deeply, trying to follow her rhythm as he focused on the softness of her skin and the warmth of her voice. 

Finally, after a few minutes, Orion had finally regained his center of balance, his breathing softening and returning to a normal rate. He exhaled heavily through his nose, opening his eyes again to look at her. 

Carewyn offered him a weak smile, both feeling relieved that he looked better and wanting to comfort him, but Orion’s face -- although once again calm -- still looked very grim as he pulled back only just enough that their foreheads were no longer touching. His gaze trailed over her smile and then around her eyes, dipping into the corners. 

“Can you ever forgive me?” he murmured. 

“Forgive you?” repeated Carewyn, upset. “For what?”

“Everything. For not fighting for you, for not being able to help you fight off your beast, as I promised...for being the son of the man who led the army who killed your brother...”

“Orion,” Carewyn said very firmly, “your father had no hand in Jacob’s death. He died long before he ever saw battle. And I told you to go. It’s a good thing you did. If you hadn’t gone, then you wouldn’t have been able to convince the King and Queen to come here, to consider peace...”

She trailed her thumbs gently along his cheeks. 

“I should be the one apologizing to you. I should’ve told you what I really was a lot sooner.”

“I don’t think you lied anymore than I did, my lady,” Orion said rather coolly. 

“It’s not the same thing,” Carewyn insisted. “Every lie you told you told so that you could pursue diplomacy and peace. Every lie I told...I told out of shame. I’d only pretended to be a lady to help get you out of trouble, at the start, but then afterwards...well...I didn’t want you to look at me differently...even though I knew deep down you would, once you learned the truth.”

Orion reached out his hands and, mirroring Carewyn, took hold of her face tentatively in return. 

“You’re right,” said Orion. “I do see you differently.”

He leaned in, touching her forehead with his again. 

“Before, I merely saw you as a wonderful contradiction -- a lady who was born to a family of wealth and cruelty and yet was kind and selfless almost to a fault. Now...I see you as akin to a diamond: a sparkling, precious gem, fashioned only under the hardest, most unforgiving pressure and more resilient than nearly anything else on Earth.”

Orion moved in even closer, so that their noses touched.

“A gem symbolic of purity and light...of perfection itself,” he murmured.

His gaze flitted from her eyes to her lips and back. Although he’d moved in close enough to kiss her, however, he hesitated. 

Carewyn could sense his intent, and her cheeks darkened with a blush as her gaze fell down to his lips. 

“I hardly think I’m perfect, your Grace.”

Orion sighed, his lips spreading into a slightly tired smile. “Your standards truly are exhausting, my lady. If you cannot meet them, I know that I surely never will...”

He made as if to pull back, but Carewyn held his face in place. Her eyes met his again, rippling with an intensity they didn’t have before. 

“You needn’t worry about meeting my standards, Orion Cosimo Amari,” she said softly. “You clear them...easily.”

And before Orion knew what was happening, she’d leaned in and placed her lips up to his jawline in a tender, lingering kiss.

She pulled back after about five seconds, her eyes shining warmly up at him despite the seriousness of her face. 

“I cannot stay,” she murmured, “but -- ”

Before she could say another word, Orion -- his black eyes shining with a desperate kind of longing -- tilted her head up and swooped down to cover her lips with his own. His breathing through his nose was soft but heated as he cradled her face in both of his hands, cherishing the feeling of her lips on his and being enveloped in her arms. 

He broke the kiss after about thirty seconds, his black eyes half-lidded on her face.

“Carewyn, I...”

Carewyn briefly rested her forehead against his, her own face tinged with a warm flush under her robin mask, before reluctantly pulling back.

“I can’t stay,” she repeated even more gently. “The illusion the Baroness gave me will fade at midnight -- so just...just stay here. Away from the ballroom. At least until after midnight...by then, the spell Rakepick cast on you will have worn off.”

Orion’s eyebrows furrowed. 

“When the lady dressed as a lioness ‘mistook me for someone else,’” he said slowly, “she’d placed a spell circle on my back. Is that so?”

Carewyn nodded. “The spell’s terms were that you’d be targeted by every weapon in the ballroom. So long as you don’t return there until after midnight...you’ll be safe.”

“But I was there with you before, and I was not harmed,” said Orion with a frown.

“The spell can only affect you. Jae guessed that if anyone else would get hurt when the weapons attacked you, then the spell wouldn’t activate...so he and his comrades, and Talbott and Badeea, they served as human shields...”

“...As did you,” Orion whispered, his eyes widening in realization. “When you kept stepping in front of me and staying close to me, while we were dancing...you were protecting me.”

Carewyn offered a rather self-effacing smile. Orion’s hands quickly returned to the sides of her neck, cradling her jawline. 

“Carewyn....” he said, his calm voice touched with both adoration and the slightest edge of anxiety, “you saved my life. All while not knowing for certain that you throwing yourself in front of me wouldn’t result in you being harmed...”

“Well, I certainly hoped I wouldn’t be,” said Carewyn, attempting dry humor. “I couldn’t exactly make sure that Lord Malfoy and my grandfather wouldn’t hurt you if I’d died...”

Seeing the look on Orion’s face, she then became much more serious.

“Orion...after I learned the truth about Jacob...when I was back at the Cromwell estate...I lost myself. I lost my drive, my spirit...my reason for living. Everything I was, and everything I thought I knew, both about myself and about the path I’ve always walked.”

Her eyes fell down to Orion’s shoulder, becoming darker.

“Knowing that Jacob, the only thing in my life that gave me a reason to keep fighting and keep enduring, was dead...I lost all will to live. I didn’t just feel like I deserved to die...I actually wanted to. I deluded myself into thinking that at least then, the pain would stop. At least then...I could be with Jacob and Mum again.”

Her lips then spread into the saddest, softest smile. 

“...But when your note arrived...when I read your words, reminding me of the song you taught me...even after all of the lies, even after I pushed you away, even though you were set to be crowned King and I’d never see you again...it reminded me of how much joy I’ve known, even without Jacob there with me. The memory of you, and my friends, helped pull me out of that despair. And then when I found out what Grandfather wanted to do to you -- found out that he planned to destroy you and everything you’d ever dreamed of, for Florence and Royaume...I couldn’t do nothing, I just couldn’t.”

Her eyes gained a stronger, more passionate glint as she met his again. 

“You saved my life, Orion. You helped me fight my beast, just like you promised. You gave me hope when I was most ready to throw everything away.”

Orion’s black eyes were very wide upon her face. As he stared at her, his eyes softened, melting in a strange blend of sadness, affection, and pride. 

“Carewyn...”

Carewyn leaned in to kiss him chastely on the lips. 

“I know it’d be impossible for us to make a life together,” she said seriously, “but I told you I’d fight for you...and I always will.”

Orion considered her for a long moment. Carewyn found herself straining to hear any sound from below -- any marking of the time -- it had been 11, before they’d headed upstairs --

“I must go,” she said yet again.

But when she made as if to leave, Orion clutched her hands in his.

“Please,” he implored her, “stay.”

“I can’t,” said Carewyn. 

“You will be safe here in Florence. I wouldn’t allow Charles Cromwell to get within ten feet of you again -- ”

“Grandfather can’t know I’ve been here,” Carewyn said very firmly. “The King and Queen of Royaume have treated him as a confidante for years -- he’s invested a lot of money to make sure they rely on him. As long as our family’s money and status are intact -- as long as Grandfather’s place at their side is intact -- he will have their ear, and they will trust his word. And I know Grandfather will use every penny he has to sabotage your efforts for peace, until his dying breath. Imagine how he’d twist you ‘kidnapping’ his precious granddaughter and turning her against her own family. Don’t forget: the last time Florence harbored a fugitive from Royaume, we got a War that’s lasted fifty years.”

Her eyes narrowed. 

“So...I must return to Royaume. I must make sure that the King and Queen have no idea that Bill and the others helped me get here with one of their coaches without their permission. I must make sure that Grandfather has no idea I was ever here.”

Orion’s face was full of pain as he squeezed her hands. “Carewyn, I can’t let you return to him -- ”

“I won’t,” said Carewyn. Her lips spread into a smile. “Don’t you understand? You gave me my life. The Baroness and Talbott broke me out of my tower, and I’m never going back. As far as Grandfather will know...I simply escaped while he and my family were away.”

Orion’s eyes widened. Then they softened visibly. “...Just as KC and Bill Weasley originally planned.”

Carewyn beamed. “And just as my mother did, before me. It might not be easy for me to be on my own, but I know I’ll find a place somewhere, to make my own way. And maybe when you and King Henri are able to make peace...I’ll be able to find my way back to you again.”

Orion’s black eyes melted, gaining a proud warmth. In a spontaneous move, he swept in again and kissed her fully, heatedly. Carewyn brought a hand up to the back of his head, cradling the base of it under his ponytail -- after a wonderful, soft moment, she used the grip to gently break the kiss. 

Orion smiled almost shyly. 

“Forgive me,” he said. “In that moment, you just looked so beautiful.”

Carewyn raised an eyebrow. “I'm under an illusion, Orion.”

Orion shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. However surreal your appearance is, your eyes blazed with such courage...like a wild stallion, fearlessly running through an open field with no fences.”

He kissed her again, more chastely. 

“It was stunning.”

Carewyn smiled through a dark blush, her eyes closing modestly. 

“...How do I look to you, exactly?” she couldn’t help but ask. 

Orion beamed, his black eyes sparkling under his magpie mask. “Like Artemis.”

Carewyn blinked in surprise. 

“Shining white hair, a smile kissed by mischief...paler than the moon, with eyes that shine like stars.” Orion’s grin broadened. “You look how I always imagined the goddess Artemis to look, when I heard the tale of her and the hunter Orion as a boy.”

Carewyn’s lips spread into a broader, emotional smile. Somewhere down below, she just barely caught the sound of a bell, and her smile flickered and died at once. She immediately bolted for the door to the secret passage, but Orion stopped her again.

“11:45, my lady,” he said soothingly. 

“It took us a good ten minutes to get up here,” said Carewyn. “I must go now -- ”

“Then we’ll go back together.”

He took her hand and followed along behind as she ran back down the stairs of the secret passage, back toward the ground floor. Despite herself, Carewyn kept trying to shake him off. 

“Orion, you should stay here -- I can make it back to the ballroom by myself -- ”

“I don’t doubt that.”

“Grandfather and Lord Malfoy will be looking for you -- if you stay here, in this passage, they probably won’t find you -- ”

“Probably.”

Even with his placid agreements, he remained at her side. Once they reached the end of the passage, Carewyn whirled on him, putting her hands up to his chest to stop him. 

“I must go on alone from here,” she said very firmly.

“Must you?” asked Orion. 

“It’s nearly midnight...just wait until the twelfth strike, and you’ll be safe -- ”

“And yet you will not be, if you’re still here,” Orion said very solemnly. “I can’t let Charles Cromwell or Lord Malfoy stop you from leaving -- they’ll know it was you, who kept me from the ballroom...”

“Orion, there’s no time!” said Carewyn anxiously. “The only way I can get back to the coach in time is through the ballroom. I won’t be able to shield you -- if you enter the ballroom before midnight, you’ll die.”

Orion’s eyes had grown very small and dark with thought. Then, little by little, they lit up with an idea. 

“Carewyn,” he said seriously, “run away from me.”

Carewyn’s eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

“Run away, when I pursue you. No matter what I say or do, while I chase you...no matter what happens, just keep running for the carriage. Ride back to Royaume, and don’t look back.”

His black eyes were very serious. 

“Promise me.”

Carewyn was stricken. Her face had lost a lot of its color as she clutched the front of his white-feathered doublet. 

“No! No, I can’t -- ”

“It will be all right, Carewyn,” Orion soothed her. 

“It can’t be all right!” she argued. “If you follow me, you’ll die -- !”

“The weapons in the ballroom will target me, yes,” said Orion. “But I’ll have a keen eye open for them, and I shall dodge them...just as you helped me dodge them before.”

“You can’t possibly dodge them all, even if Jae and the others are still in there!” Carewyn was beside herself, her hands clasping desperately at his chest. “Orion, I can’t let you -- ”

“It must be done, Carewyn,” whispered Orion gently. 

“Orion, I can’t lose you!” Carewyn implored him. Her eyes were flooding with tears. “Orion, please -- I can’t -- ”

Orion, mirroring a gesture Carewyn had used before, clutched the back of her head, cradling it gently, and he placed a tender kiss to the crook of her neck. 

“It will be all right, Carewyn,” he murmured against her skin. “Trust me.”

Carewyn felt sick. She knew every second she hesitated was one less than she needed to get back to the coach, where Bill, Charlie, Talbott, and Badeea were no doubt waiting, and yet her fear for Orion’s safety threatened her very stability. She’d done everything she could to try to protect him, the way she couldn’t for Jacob -- if she lost him too, she didn’t know what she’d do...

She looked into his gentle, calm eyes, vainly trying to fight back her tears. Despite the painful lump in her throat and the clenching of her heart, she saw the lack of fear in his features -- the man who, not long ago, had been so anxious he could hardly breathe was absolutely fearless in the face of Death. 

Carewyn Cromwell didn’t trust anyone. She’d never had faith in anyone...not since she’d lost Jacob and been enslaved to Charles Cromwell, a man who trusted and believed in no one but himself...

And yet in this moment -- as impossible as she knew it would be for her to do -- she knew she had to try. 

And so, her eyes streaming with tears, she swept in and kissed Orion fully. She caressed his face, trailing a hand through the bangs under his coronet, as he clutched the back of her head tenderly. 

After a minute, they broke apart, and Carewyn pushed open the door of the secret passage, dashing back out into the hallway, straight for the ballroom. After giving her a minute’s head start, Orion started his pursuit, calling after her. 

“No, wait -- come back!”

Following Orion’s instructions, Carewyn didn’t stop. She ran down the hall, right through a crowd of people and back toward the ballroom, as he chased after her. 

“Please come back!”

Orion’s voice sounded odd in Carewyn’s ears. Such words would normally have sounded tense, breathier, anxious -- but instead, every word rang out very clearly. 

As Carewyn made her first step into the ballroom, she couldn’t stop herself from looking back. Seeing her hesitation, Orion raised his voice.

“I don’t even know your name -- how will I find you?”

The completely out-of-character sentence shocked Carewyn back to her senses. 

This was an act. This was a ploy -- another lie, for them to get them to their goal. He wanted everyone to hear him. He wanted to make it sound like he didn’t know who she was, but that he didn’t want her to leave, like he was trying to stop her from going. Carewyn just wasn’t sure exactly why...

In that moment, however, she knew that didn’t matter. And so she ran, even despite the fear thumping in her chest. She could see Jae pushing through the crowd, trying to reach Orion’s side -- from the other side of the ballroom came Barnaby and Tulip. 

As Orion dashed through the ballroom, Carewyn could see many figures all over the room stiffening abruptly, their eyes glowing red as they faced Orion. Her heart seized up with terror as she ran, looking back constantly despite herself.

Jae, please -- please, reach him -- !

BANG. 

The first gunshot came from the far left side of the ballroom, fired from one of Royaume’s lesser lord’s pistols. Orion was able to dodge it by ducking around a pillar. 

As the ballroom devolved into terrified screams and Jae and the other bandits tried to hold off and overpower as many of the armed Royaumanian lords and ladies as possible, more gunshots rang out from other sides of the room. 

BANG. BANG. BANG. 

Orion dodged both the gunshots and the fleeing masses with artful grace by sliding underneath the refreshment table, his eyes returning to Carewyn.

“Wait! Please, wait!”

Carewyn’s heart clenched at the sight of Orion avoiding the shots. Once again, he proved himself to be so much more than he first appeared --

Still, though, he was catching up -- and, Carewyn realized, the faster she could get across the ballroom, the faster she could get Orion out of harm’s way. 

And so she pushed through the crowd, running as fast as she could. She pushed right past KC and McNully, both of whom gave her confused looks, but nonetheless seemed to have caught on. Thanks to Jae, they were enough in the loop to know Orion was in trouble, and although they didn’t understand Orion’s ploy, they knew better than to prevent Carewyn from leaving. 

BANG. BANG. 

As people ran to try to avoid the gunshots that would never have hit them anyway, Carewyn tried desperately not to look back. She couldn’t afford that hesitation. 

I can’t let him die -- I can’t -- 

“Halt!”

In the midst of all the mayhem, someone seized Carewyn’s arm, yanking her back. Carewyn whirled around, her face losing all of its color at the sight of white-blond-haired, albino-peacock-dressed Lord Malfoy. 

“His Majesty ordered you to stop,” he said in a very dangerous voice, his gray eyes flaring with loathing. 

Carewyn’s heart flared with terror and she wrenched against Lord Malfoy’s grip, desperately trying to get free. 

“Let go! Let me go!”

Orion, seeing Carewyn’s distress, tried to dash over. Unfortunately his distraction had caused him to ignore his surroundings.

“NO!” screamed Andre. 

It was only thanks to the Prince of Royaume that King Henri’s ceremonial blade was not plunged through Orion’s chest. Instead it slashed his side, causing him to hunch in on himself with a sharp hiss of pain.

Orion getting injured, even superficially, made Carewyn’s eyes lose all of their light. 

“NO!” she screamed. “NO!”

And to make matters worse, somewhere underneath the sound of panicked screaming, there was a terrible BONG of a clock tolling the hour.

It was midnight. 

Carewyn lashed out against Lord Malfoy’s grip, but he held fast, his teeth bared. 

“A lady with the ability to enchant a King enough to lead him to his doom,” he hissed, as the clock made its second strike. “Clearly you are behind this conspiracy -- ”

BONG. Carewyn could feel her face tingling, and she fought harder against his grip. As Malfoy glared down at her, his eyes seemed to slowly widen -- the illusion around her face was flickering like a candle, making her real hair and eye color at points easier to see.

“What...?”

BAM. 

Out of nowhere, Bill Weasley -- his face obscured by his antler-decorated stag mask -- had appeared and punched Lord Malfoy right in the face. The strike was so strong that it knocked him completely off his feet and forced him to let go of Carewyn. 

Andre had successfully put the King of Royaume in a headlock to restrain him. Erika, who KC and McNully had both flagged so as to prevent her from being affected too, pulled out her own ceremonial sword to forcibly disarm the King. As King Henri blinked rapidly and shook his head, Erika shouted at Orion over her shoulder as loudly as she could over the fifth stroke of midnight. 

“Get out of here, King Cosimo!” 

Orion, his hand sliding off of his side, turned his focus back to Carewyn and plowed after her just as before. 

“Wait!” he cried again, echoing his earlier sentiment as if nothing had happened. 

Bill grabbed hold of Carewyn. “We can’t wait -- the Cromwells already left, but Malfoy and Rakepick -- ”

“I know!” said Carewyn, her voice fiercer than she meant. “Come on!”

Carewyn broke back out into a run out of the ballroom, Bill at her heels. Bill pushed and shoved their way through the hallway full of people, clearing a path for Carewyn as the clock struck eight. 

Despite the shallow wound to his chest, Orion kept running after them, continuing to play his ruse. Lord Malfoy, having recovered from Bill’s punch at last, likewise tried to pursue, but before long he found himself circumvented by Skye not-so-subtly tackling him to the ground. 

“Don’t want you getting shot, Lord Malfoy,” she said in a voice that clearly communicated that she wouldn’t have minded one bit if he had been. 

Bill and Carewyn finally made it out the front doors to the top of the grand stairs when the clock struck ten. It was also there that they were halted again, this time by Rakepick stepping on the wide skirt of Carewyn’s gown. The movement made Carewyn lose her footing, making one of her stained glass slippers come off as she stumbled down the stairs. Rakepick then took advantage of her disturbed balance to grab her by the wrist and hoist her back up onto her feet. 

“And where do you think you’re going?” said Rakepick, her voice dripping with disdain. 

Carewyn brought a hand up as if to smack her, only for it to be caught too. Bill halted and backtracked back up the stairs, his brown eyes flaring. 

But when Rakepick looked Carewyn in the face, the illusion flickering and dying before her eyes, she stilled, her face losing all of its color.  

“You,” she whispered in an oddly fragile voice. 

BONG. 

At long last, the final stroke of midnight had come. Carewyn was exposed, recognized, by the magician her grandfather had hired, even despite her best efforts. 

But before Carewyn could even think of doing anything, Bill wrenched Rakepick off of his friend with one hand and threw her to the ground. Then he looped an arm around Carewyn’s waist, hoisting her up as if she were his little sister, Ginny, and ferried her right off her feet to the coach. Once he’d handed her off to Talbott and Badeea inside, Bill leapt up onto the boot. 

“Go, now!”

Charlie in the driver’s seat barely needed any encouragement -- he flicked the reins and set the horses off at a run before the coach door was even securely closed. 

Rakepick stared after the coach from her place sprawled out on the stairs, stunned. She didn’t even see Orion watch it go himself from the top of the stairs with a smile. 

Once Carewyn’s coach was out of sight, Orion looked around, and a sparkle of orange diamond and shimmering paint caught his eye. When he looked down, he found Carewyn’s discarded “stained glass” slipper sitting innocently on its side at the top of the stair. He wiped the small amount of blood on his hand off on his black doublet sleeve, before he gingerly bent down and picked up the hand-painted shoe, his smile spreading into a full grin as he headed back indoors. 

His improvised plan had worked all right so far. Maybe...just maybe...the Fates might favor him and Carewyn, after all. 

[whumpcollector]

Project CHIMERA Pt.1: A New Age

Hey everyone. I’ve had this little project stewing for a long while. I’m experimenting with the writing style and such so please give me any feedback you have! (Also formatting this thing has been a nightmare so if anything comes off as difficult to read please lmk and ill fix it)

TW: Dehumanization. Themes of imperialism. Descriptions of blood and injury.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dr. Yarru’s Personal Log

Entry 1

Date: Celendor 3, 991

It is a glorious day. Truly it is. Today marks the beginning of project CHIMERA. I have been assigned to lead this project by Emperor Vystlat himself, an honor I intend to prove myself worthy of. The equipment is still being set up and the facility brought to full function, but within the week we will be able to begin the production of the first batch of clones. All going well we will have our first subjects by the end of Celendor.This will be a new age for the empire.

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dr. Yarru’s Personal Log

Entry 4

Date: Celendor 12, 991

The first batch of clones are growing better than anticipated. Within two days they have already passed the embryonic stages and have reached infancy. If this rate continues they will be juveniles within three days at most, and we will be able to begin the initial stages of CHIMERA ahead of schedule. This is better than I ever could have hoped for. Soon the need for the empire’s children to die in order to spread our prosperity will be gone. Soon, the glory of the empire will go uncontested.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------           

                                   ---Security Clearance Level: 5---

Official Report of Progress: Project CHIMERA

Date: Celendor 12, 991

My glorious Emperor Vystalt,I am more than pleased to report that project CHIMERA’s progress has been greater than I ever anticipated. The first batch of clones have reached the juvenile stage and are being awoken as I write this report. After a day of acclimation we will be able to begin their training. Initial physiological tests have revealed that cell growth rates and immune system responses are greatly enhanced compared to the average human’s. With further research we may be able to adapt these properties to other medical fields. While I do not wish to get ahead of myself, the prospective avenues of research are truly promising.

I shall personally inform you of any and all major developments.

May our glory shine upon the world,

-Dr.Archimedes Yarru

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Dr. Yarru’s Personal Log

Entry 6

Date: Celendor 13, 991

It appears that our genetic manipulation has worked a bit...too well. These clones are not the blank slates that we had anticipated, but have managed to develop personalities during their time in incubation. The good news is that the information we imprinted them with during the incubation phase has stuck as well. We won’t need to teach them the basics. In theory their training can continue as normal, but some issues have reared their ugly heads. We are already receiving resistance to the idea of training from some of the subjects, and an alarming amount of them have developed dispositions that aren’t exactly compatible with being a soldier. Still, this is a minor setback at most and I have been assured by the training staff that things will progress as intended. I hope they know what they’re doing, but the emperor chose them personally so they must be good at their job.

Despite this hiccup I can’t help but be hopeful for the future. Every other aspect of CHIMERA has gone off without a hitch. I’m already seeing promising results from my initial tests of the clone’s blood and muscle cells. I will have to study them closer to get better results, but that will come in time.

Damn it's been 22 hours since I last slept. I should probably do that now.

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Celendor-15-991

To: allstaff

Subject: Plans going forward and clarification of CHIMERA details

It has come to my attention that there has been some confusion throughout the staff, both due to the unforeseen personalities of the clones and with general project protocol. Allow me to rectify these issues here.

[1] The classification of all subjects are as follows. Please remember this to avoid any failures of communication in the future.

Stage gamma: Subjects in the initial stages of testing. They will physically resemble adolescents, generally ages 12-15.

Stage beta: Subjects that are through initial training stages and have been curated into specified roles to receive specialized training. They will also reach physical maturity, resembling 20-22 year olds before their biological development and aging slows.

Stage alpha: Subjects that have finished training and are capable of being sent into the field.

Note: The ages attached to each stage are to provide a reference point to help identify subjects at a glance. Subject’s early rapid aging and the subsequent cessation of said aging makes any attempts at estimating age past a certain point futile. Please refrain from doing so

Addendum: This also means that there will be no attempts at assigning or recognizing birthdays. Yes Arthur, we mean you. Sate your addiction to cake on your own time

[2] Despite the unintended development of personality within subjects all current training protocols and methods will be utilized. The head of the training staff has asked that I pass along this message 

    *[While I understand that these new developments may be difficult to handle for some of you, it is imperative to remember that these clones are not people. They are more akin to automatons or even puppets. There will likely be many attempts to resist our training, do not waver. These clones are meant to be the bulwark of the empire. They need to be forged and tempered into weapons of war. If that requires us to break them first we must accept that. Use a heavy hand, accept not disobedience, and do whatever it takes to ensure the compliance of the clones.

                                                                                            Taskmaster Grestin]

[3] Remember that project CHIMERA is still in experimental phases. The genetic makeup, physiology, and even mental development and reception to training will vary from batch to batch and even subject to subject. Adapting to such differences will be crucial to ensuring progress of the project. If you happen to notice any abnormal physiological phenomena or behavioral anomalies please report to me. While these subjects are meant to be made into soldiers for the empire they also provide a plethora of opportunities for other fields of research. Within that vein, please refrain from killing the subjects. I understand that taskmaster Grestin’s previous statement emphasizes the importance of discipline but please, do show some restraint when possible. Creating these subjects is currently an expensive and, quite frankly, unreliable process despite our initial success. There is a reason this first batch only consists of 10 subjects. Please do not lower that number.  

                                                                                        -Dr. Archimedes Yarru

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Dr. Yarru’s Personal Log

Entry 9

Date: Celendor 19, 991

Well Grestin has definitely earned the title taskmaster. I get that any training intended to produce super soldiers is going to be intense but, damn. I’m almost worried that she’ll kill the subjects long before they get into stage beta. Hopefully I’m just being overly anxious. I trust that Grestin won’t push them too harshly too quickly.

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Medical Report: Subject Gamma-A-8

Date of Admission: Celendor-20-991

Subject Gamma-A-8 was submitted to the facility infirmary at 8:26 AM on the 20th of month Celendor, year 991 by staff member Jules Armidin. Subject Gamma-A-8 was admitted due to severe injury and physical exhaustion. A complete list of afflictions has been attached to the report.

After initial treatments Subject Gamma-A-8 has been stabilized and is currently recovering. It is estimated the subject will be fully recovered within 10-14 days with no long term injuries or afflictions.

Attached - Trauma_Report_GAMMMAA8   

[ Subject Gamma-A-8

Muscle tearing located in the left and right biceps, triceps, and pectorals

Hairline fractures located in the left ulna, left and right radius, and sternum

Compound fracture located at the tibia

Eye spasms indicative of long term sleep deprivation Mild concussion

General bruising located across the arms, legs, and abdomen

Lacerations across the back                                                       ]

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Dr. Yarru’s Personal Log

Entry 10

Date: Celendor 20, 991

At least the subject didn’t die. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dr Yarru’s Personal Log.

Entry 11

Date: Celendor 21, 991

Well if anything at least I have been able to study how the subject’s body responds to physiological trauma. The results are nothing short of remarkable. Almost all of the major injuries have been healed to the point of not impairing the body's functions, including bone fractures. I was as shocked as the doctors when a compound fracture seemingly mended itself overnight. It hasn’t fully healed, but the subject is capable of moving the leg to a degree, which is still nothing short of amazing. Accelerated Healing was something that was coded into their base genetics but this is more than what we could have ever expected.

I wonder if this trait is shared by all subjects or if Gamma-A-8 is a special case. Perhaps Grestin’s methods will prove fruitful in more ways than one.

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Dr Yarru’s Personal Log

Entry 14

Date: Celendor 28, 991

It has been less than one month since the beginning of project CHIMERA and the results are already beyond my wildest dreams. Despite my initial reservations almost every subject has taken to the training regimen, no doubt due to Grestin’s expertise.

Note to self: Don’t piss her off

Subject Gamma-A-8 has had a difficult time keeping up with the other subjects. Despite the subject’s remarkable natural healing it seems unable to match the raw strength and speed the other subjects possess. I am hopeful that it will be able to catch up, or at least be able to function adequately in whatever role it is assigned. If not, well, 90% success rate is still more than acceptable given the circumstances.

I feel as if I have gathered as much data as I can working on the peripheries. Blood samples and medical reports are all well and good but they can only get me so far. I haven’t had a chance to interact with any of the subjects thus far. I think it's about time that I change that.

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Tags: @haro-whumps @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi

[fireblight]

headcanon004.  The Will of Grass ( name may change ) is a hybrid of Konohagakure’s Will of Fire ( through love, we can achieve peace ) and Iwagakure’s Will of Stone ( we must remain strong-willed and proud without giving into hate ), due to Kusagakure’s location being in the middle of the two greater villages. The Will of Grass states that where there is something important, one can endure any trial for the sake of protecting it. For people, it typically relates to the idea that when you’re protecting someone you love, you are capable of achieving extreme feats of willpower. For the village, it relates more to the tenacity of the village identity in how the Hidden Grass never fails to remake itself, time and time again. Karin herselfーthough she may not be consciously aware of itーis a carrier of the Will of Grass. It can be said more poetically as ‘as long as there is giving soil, cut grass will grow again’.

In regards to how this actually affects Karin, it gives her an uncanny good fortuneーalbeit it often succeeds bad luckーin brushes with death, motivated by a strong passion / love for someone or some ideal. Exempli gratia, her initial manifestation of the Mind’s Eye of Kagura coincided with an oncoming invasion to Kusagakure. Because she had someone to protectーparticularly her mother, Yuna, her father, Katsuki, her younger brother, Miyuki and, to a lesser extent, her sensei, Touyaーshe was capable of achieving a sudden and impressive feat, albeit due to the circumstances of her upbringing her warnings went, largely, unheeded until the last moment. However, due to her newfound ability she was capable of evading the attack, leading her to be the lone survivor. 

This pattern continues throughout her life, although what she protects changes to adapt to new circumstances and connections: through cunning, she is among the few ( if not the only ) wardens to survive the ensuing chaos after Orochimaru’s deathーshe was motivated by a strong survivalist attitude that developed from the trauma of losing her loved ones and the resulting survivor’s guilt, vowing to never let herself die for a stupid reason as she wanted to protect the honour of her fallen family; she survives Sasuke’s betrayal in the battle against Danzo, her “last” memories being of the man she loved and her desire to see him smile ( thus wishing to protect his happiness ), though she would later be healed by Haruno Sakura; during the Fourth Shinobi War, she would sense Sasuke’s chakra weakening fatally and be inspired to once again activate a latent ancestral power ( albeit a lesser variant ), utilizing them in her pursuit to protect him, becoming punctured several times by the Wooden Statue, only to use her own chakra reserves ( through the Healing Bite technique that is, again, unique to her ) to heal herself from the mortal wounds. 

However, this isn’t some guarantor of success nor some flimsy immortality: it is a will, which as shown in Naruto is a powerful thing, but nothing more. Sarutobi Hiruzen died for the sake of protecting and honouring the Will of Fire, but his death could arguably be interpreted as an act of the Will of Fireーthus, the Will of Grass is susceptible to the same rules. More-so, it rather just affects the quality of her character and is representative of her general life philosophy and the will to go on. It’s a source of strength, a burning point of faith. 

She isn’t actually fully aware of the Will of Grass as a tenet until she revisits Kusagakure in her later travels, but conceptually it aligns rather nicely with her favourite phrase: “女の一念、岩をも徹す: a woman’s desire can pass even through rock”.

[shinkumancer-archive]

[revitalizeorganicstore]

Unlocking the Potential of Scenar Healing Devices

In the realm of holistic and alternative medicine, Scenar healing devices have been gaining recognition for their remarkable therapeutic benefits. These compact handheld devices, which stand for "Self-Controlled Energo Neuro Adaptive Regulator," are designed to stimulate the body's natural healing abilities and alleviate various forms of pain and discomfort. In this article, we'll delve into the world of Scenar healing devices and explore how they work, their applications, and their growing popularity in the healthcare industry.

Understanding Scenar Healing Devices Scenar healing devices were developed based on the principles of biofeedback and neurostimulation. They operate on the idea that the human body has an innate ability to heal itself when stimulated correctly. These devices are equipped with electrodes that deliver low-frequency electrical impulses to the skin's surface, creating a biofeedback loop with the body.

How Scenar Devices Work The Scenar device's electrical impulses interact with the body's nervous system, specifically the skin, and create a response that is unique to each individual. As the device scans and detects areas of imbalance or dysfunction, it adjusts its signal frequency to encourage the body to self-regulate and promote healing. This process is non-invasive, painless, and generally well-tolerated by patients.

Applications of Scenar Healing Devices Scenar devices have a wide range of applications and are commonly used for:

Pain Management: Scenar therapy is often sought after for its effectiveness in reducing both acute and chronic pain. It is used to alleviate conditions such as back pain, joint pain, migraines, and sports injuries.

Rehabilitation: Scenar therapy is valuable in physical therapy and rehabilitation programs, helping patients regain mobility and strength after injuries or surgeries.

Stress Reduction: By promoting relaxation and balancing the autonomic nervous system, Scenar therapy can help reduce stress and improve overall well-being.

Digestive Disorders: Some practitioners use Scenar devices to address digestive issues like irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and indigestion.

Skin Conditions: Scenar therapy may be employed to improve the appearance of the skin and assist in the healing of wounds and scars.

The Growing Popularity The popularity of Scenar healing devices is on the rise due to their non-invasive nature and potential to complement conventional medical treatments. Many healthcare practitioners, including chiropractors, physiotherapists, and holistic therapists, have incorporated Scenar therapy into their practice.

Patients are drawn to Scenar therapy for its ability to provide relief without the side effects associated with pharmaceutical interventions. Additionally, it aligns with the growing trend of seeking natural and holistic approaches to healthcare.

Conclusion Scenar healing devices represent a fascinating intersection of technology and natural healing. Their ability to engage the body's innate healing mechanisms has garnered attention in the medical field and among patients seeking alternative and complementary therapies. As research and understanding of Scenar therapy continue to evolve, it is likely that these devices will play an increasingly prominent role in holistic healthcare.

In summary, Scenar healing devices are more than just innovative gadgets; they offer a potential path to improved well-being and pain relief for those who explore their benefits.