#it went by way too fast so ill definitely need to rewatch it in one go

[gunsatthaphan]

“I can walk alone now.”

[spencerhotchner]

Alternative {spencer reid}

Chapter 2

summary: Since quarentine was announced, Y/N decided to rewatch all seasons of Criminal Minds. On a lonely night she wished she could be in that universe instead of this. What happens when she wakes up in 2008 in Quantico?

warnings: angst, a very confused reader, regular cm stuff and my grammar (if you find anything else pls lmk) 

word count: 2.1k

a/n: ok, i am really excited about this series. and really thankful that y'all are liking it. also, i hope you will enjoy this chapter as much as y'all did the last one! it didn't end up as long as i wanted it it but ig its ok right.

series masterlist

part 1 | part 2

You could hear some familiar voices on the background as you began to regain conciseness, voices you could identify anywhere. You kept your eye shut for a while, feeling the tiredness and dizziness your body was screaming at you despite the fact that you have been unconscious, and on the floor apparently. Even though you're head was still too slow to think straight, you noticed that your face mask wasn't on you anymore. 

“Who is she?” you heard the familiar voice of Shamar, or Morgan, given the circumstances. 

“Apparently she knows me.” that was Spencer’s turn to speak. 

“I met her this morning.” JJ states, you could only imagine the faces they would be making at her, wondering how and why. “I bumped into her walking on the street, she seemed pretty confused but yet she still knew who I was.” 

“Well, that’s weird.” Emily said.

When you finally decided to open them, you felt like you were still dream. Once again you found yourself asking what was going on. Why was the whole cast of Criminal Minds standing there simple staring at you and why were they acting like their characters? Out of the two explanations that came to your mind at the moment, only one made any sense. I was a tv prank, it could only be. There would be no other logical reason to it, other wise. 

“Are you ok?” Hotch asks, offering a hand. 

You stared at him trying to figure out what to say, but without saying a word you took his hands and got up. The whole team was looking at you, with weird expressions. You felt almost like you were an unsub, you hated being stared. 

“Yes, I mean, no!” you say. “Is this a prank of something? Because, damn, you guys went too far down with it. Fuck!” you say, finally snapping. 

“I’m afraid I don't know what you are talking about.” Rossi said. 

You tried not to but as soon as you realized you already had a big sarcastic expression on your face. How wouldn't they? They were tv stars and they were clearly acting, you've seen it. 

“Oh, you're not?” you said, as sarcastic as you could be. “Ok, let me enlighten you all, since you ‘don’t know what i’m talking about?’. I woke up in this freaking random apartment by myself wearing the exact same thing I was wearing the night before.” 

“...and where is the part we fit in there?” he replies. 

You ignored him, sighing and trying to push your anxiety down. 

“As I was saying, I was wearing the exact same thing and I was in Bellevue, in Washington state. I have no idea who decided to pull this off but as much as I love the show, I am not enjoying this.” you say, looking around trying to find cameras. 

They all kept staring at you, Rossi was the only one who didn't seem worried about, it was like he thought you were on drugs or just delusional. You were even starting to believe in that. JJ and Spencer kept staring at each other, possibly trying to figure out what was going on, and how you knew them. 

“You believe you were abducted, then?” Hotch finally says something. 

You sigh again, trying to be patience. All you wanted was to go home, when you said you wanted to meet the cast - all the hundreds of times you said it, you didn’t mean this. You closed your eyes, because suddenly all you wanted to do was cry. You couldn't count how many times you imagined this happening and it was being just awful. You hated being confused, lost and being pictured as crazy. 

“No, Agent Hotchner” you spilled his name, sarcastically. “I am sure.”

He looked at you without much expression - as usual, but you could tell he was superseded you knew him, just as much as the team. Morgan step forward, walking towards you. You stared at him, trying to remain calm. 

“Listen, we can't help you if you don't let us.” he said. “Can you tell us your name?”

God, don't they realize this is funny? I do not wanna be acting, some pictures would do the job just as fine. 

“Y/N Y/L/N” you say as you watch Rossi give Garcia a look making her nod and direct herself to her ‘cave’, certainly to search you up. 

“Alright, you have someone we can contact with?” JJ asks. 

You nodded, yes you did. But they wouldn't pick up the phone, as you tried multiple times this morning on the old cellphone. What if something happened to them? This was all so confusing. 

“But she won’t pick up the phone, I tried.” you said.

Once again, you caught yourself wondering what was going on. And that was the moment you kind of got what was happening. Would it be possible that you shifted to this universe? Maybe this wasn't all a prank and your wish had just became true. You probably should've thought about it before asking for it. At once it hit you, what you said to your friend just last night. 

“What is something you would want to do right now?” your best friend asked you, leaning a bit towards you, laughing drunkly.

“Um, I’d really like to be in Criminal Minds right now.” you say laughing as you best friend rolled her eyes. “No, listen! I’d love to meet Spencer Reid and I don't know, it just sounds better than quarantine.”

“Yeah, sure, because serial killers are just not bad at all, huh?” she laughed. 

Maybe this was true, maybe you did shifted. And if you did, you sure sounded like a crazy person, and probably a stalker. You looked around trying to figure out if you could sit somewhere, it all became took much for you mind at that moment. 

“Can I sit... Can I sit somewhere?” you asked, probably looking as ill as you sounded.

You watched as Reid rushed to bring the chair. You set down trying to figure out how you'd leave there, and how you'd shift back. Staring at them you felt your heart warm a little, you dreamed about this for so long - as it was all it was, a dream, until now, at least. 

Before you could say a word you watched Penelope come back and whisper in Rossi’s ear, probably what she found out about you. Which, maybe was everything, since you had no reasons to hide a thing about your life, which was quite boring, in fact. 

“Who are you?” Rossi says, like he’s ready to arrest you.

“I-I already told you.” you answer. “I’m Y/N.”

If you needed any proof about what was going on that was it. It was like you did not even exist, like you weren't real. She probably didn’t find anything because you’re not from this universe.

“Alright. What can we do for you, Y/N?” Morgan asks.

“I need to go home.” you let it out. “I don't know how I ended up here in Quantico.”

Garcia stares ate you, almost like she felt pity about your situation while the rest of them kept a suspicious look at you. It’s not like you blame them, anyways, you would think it’s weird for somebody to come out of nowhere knowing your name and claiming to be pranked. 

While you were sitting there, with all those eyes at you, you thought that maybe giving up and trying to figure it all out by yourself maybe would be better. How would they help you, anyways? It is not like they could send you back. And it is also not like you didn't actually wish for this. 

There are some wishes that are entirely rhetorical. 

“You know what? I’m good.” you fake a smile, obviously. “I’m just gonna go.” 

You stoop up fast, not giving them much time to contest you. Spencer looked confused, more than any of the others, for some reason. Maybe he was just curious on how you knew him, or JJ. Either way, you wouldn't know. 

Hotch looked at you, wondering your action. Why were you so desperate at one time and tried to pull off as if it was ok? It was definitely not ok. Your smile looked fake, your body seemed tense and your eyes looked as lost as he could think someone could be, as he has seen a lot of lost eyes. 

“Thank you, for your attention, though.” you say. “I’m sorry for taking your time agents.” 

You stormed out of there, not even realizing that you left your jacket in there. How could you? Not when you ran out of there as if your live depended on it. You let a sigh out as you got out of the building, not even noticing when the tears started to come down at your cheeks. 

At that moment you didn't care at all about where you were, you set on the floor, letting the tears roll down and the sobs come out. You never wished to be away from your reality, it only seemed nice in your dreams. Right now, all you wanted was to go home and hug your parents, or even just see them. You felt lost, as lost as a five year old who can't find his mommy at the park. 

You got scared as you felt a big hand touch your shoulders. As your turn, to see who was it, Spencer looked as nice as you could ever picture him to, or see on the screens. His face resembles worry, like he was actually wondering what happened to you and why where you there. 

“I believe this is yours.” he hands you your jacket. 

You stare at him before.

“Yes, thank you.” you wipe the tears away. 

“No- No problem.” he said, sitting by your side. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah.” you answered looking away. 

“You don't have to lie to me.” he said, as you looked back at him. “I wanna help you, but I can only do that if you cooperate with me.”

Why would he?

“I don't know where I am. I mean, I do know but I don't know how I ended up here. I understand what is going on, I did after a while but I don't know how to change this situation. I don't know how to go back home.” you said. 

Not like he’ll understand, anyways.

"Maybe... Maybe me and my team could help you figure it out?” he tries. 

“I doubt it.” you shake your shoulders. “I know that you guys are awesome at your job, don't get me wrong, to be honest I’m quite the big fan.” you laughed a bit. “But it’s just out of hand.” 

He stops, looking at you. Gave up offering help, you were not accepting he felt it. No, he knew it. It was his job to know what body language was telling him, anyways. He didn't want to stare at you, but he felt like he needed to. He was stuck at your looks, so pretty, yet so lost. 

“If we can't help you, is there anything I can do for you?” he asks. 

You looked right into his eyes. Thinking, if you should say it. Maybe so, it wouldn't kill you, it was not like it was the real world of something, well maybe it was but you couldn't care less. All you wanted was somewhere to stay this night and figure out how to get back.

“I do need a place to stay tonight.” you say, smiling little at him. 

He had a weird look on his face when you said that, like he wasn't expecting it. Because he wasn't. That moment he considered himself a crazy man, because he knew the risks and yet was up for it.

“Uh, ok.” 

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[cadomoisspokenfor]

Legion Rewatch Notes,

Chapter 7:

The King In Yellow

Walter’s really putting his all into that whistling.

Kerry ended up losing Walter eventually. But I guess she was chased out of her hiding place by the zombies.

Theory: Much like how David feels most stable and confident when Syd’s around, Kerry feels most stable and confident when Cary’s around. She’s much less likely to lose a fight or get scared if Cary is in the vicinity. This would also explain why she feels so betrayed that Cary left her in Mental Clockworks. She works best when he’s around (power of love and all that) so when he’s not around she constantly feels like she’s on the ropes. Maybe only subconsciously though.

Lenny says “Hey” a lot.

So Farouk... actually seems distressed here. This is him at his least chill. He’s just shoved a person he actually cares about into a corner of their mind cause he just couldn’t understand them, the dream he’s created is collapsing and he has no plan on how to deal with it (rare for Farouk), and the location of his own body (his temple) is still lost to him after all this time.

Also, there’s apparently no specific place it could be. Farouk’s body could be anywhere on the globe. I guess he and everyone who knows about is aware that he could come back to his body if he knows where it is?

Even though it’s pointed out a lot I’ll also note that Charles is in his wheelchair in Amy’s flashback. And given future/past events (confusing, I know) this either means Farouk is the one who put him in a wheelchair, or whatever caused it happened between defeating Farouk and giving away baby David. And there’s... really not a lot of time in between those 2 events.

As we’ve seen before, while Farouk can probably see into Oliver’s ice cube residents, he can’t actually go inside or do anything to Oliver (or his guest) while he’s in there.

Farouk doesn’t want the dream to end until he’s located his body.

Cary is used to finishing Oliver’s sentences.

Cary and Oliver think very alike. The biggest difference between them I suppose is Oliver’s reality bending powers.

David never agreed to the barbershop quartet but Oliver put his name down anyways.

I never caught this before, but the thing that makes it obvious to Cary is the fact that the parasite called itself “King”. Before when watching this I thought “it’s just a name,” but I guess the point is... what other villain would be so hubris filled as to advertise who they are so openly. It speaks to the brazenness of Farouk. If Charles had ever checked back and found out David was talking to some invisible friend named “King” Farouk woulda been discovered then and there. I can only assume this means the name “King” was taunt of sorts. A joke only Farouk was in on. Not to mention, Farouk probably would never have settled for a name any less dignifying.

Oliver doesn’t remember any of his past friends, but he does remember Farouk. I wonder, did him and Cary hear about Farouk before or after Charles defeated him? Farouk hasn’t been publicly doing things for 30 years, and the only event that could reasonably be linked to him is Meiser Sunday. If they knew about him before Charles defeated him then that would just speak to his prolificness as a villain, I guess. “The Shadow King”, an unstoppable force for years until a random prodigy mutant gets him on his first try... or so they thought. I believe that’s how it happened in the comics too.

I’ll also note, Charles is an important figure in the mutant community, but it shouldn’t be discounted that the mutant community still existed and had a whole rich history before Charles even stepped on the scene. It seems like either Xaviers School doesn’t exist in this timeline, or they just don’t know about it. And given that, Summerland seemingly founded itself off the same general ideas of the Xavier School, but completely independently. Like 2 people coming up with the same idea on different sides of the planet.

Farouk’s weakness as Oliver puts it is, “He puts all of his energy into tricking David. Didn’t think to watch his six.” I wonder... is this a consistent weakness of Farouk’s? Could this be what Oliver means when he says he found his weakness in s2?

Oliver admits Farouk is too powerful for him. It’s not like he’s one to have a power complex, but it is interesting how shameless he is about it. He doesn’t really philosophize about that kind of thing, he’s matter of fact about it. Farouk’s got more measurable power than me, we need to find another way around him. He also notes though that *David* could defeat Farouk if need be. Everyone recognizes David as the top of the food chain.

Small note: I guess this is how it works between omega lvls. Always thinking of ways around each others raw abilities. Farouk knows David is too strong for him in s2, so he finds away around it. David knows he might not be able to hold out against Farouk’s built up experience, so he finds away around it. Brains over brawn every time, it would seem.

Cary feels really really bad for David. Seeing him screaming his brains out in a locked box knowing full well how much David hates small space. It’s very sweet. But also, 2 episodes Cary seemed a bit more standoffish about David. Knowing what he knows now recontextualized all those past events. David is a victim of something incomprehensibly terrible. He sees that now.

My boi Dan’s gonna need a lozenge after this one.

“We’re gonna need everybody.” They never get Ptonomy :/

I didn’t pick up on any of the other times, but Syd’s job here is to be a distraction. Sure, she has to protect the others in the process, but freeing them from the dream is the job of Cary, Oliver, and Melanie.

Still though, David is the victim who needs help here. He’s not the hero who saves them, he’s the one in need of saving. And Syd takes charge in the plan to do so and is tasked with protecting the others, making her once again closer to the hero archetype than David is. In the moment at least.

Syd’s talking fast cause they don’t exactly have all the time in the world here.

The zombies vanish but the architecture remains. There are “degrees” of real in the astral plane.

“Just thought it’d be interesting.” She’s over the whole “jumpscare haunted house” thing by now.

Silly me, the Melanie scene took place after Cary went to gather people. So it’s definitely Cary in the suit.

Melanie’s glad to see he’s back but she’s not completely love struck. Probably both cause he doesn’t remember her, and cause lovestruck Melanie was a result of her mind being altered to fit the delusion. Cary is guiding them out of the delusion so she’s back to her old self basically. Rational, and concerned with the mission.

This isn’t important, I just like how Melanie wakes him up here. It’s sweet, and bitter, cause it’s too late for him anyways.

Why does Farouk simulate this whole process for Rudy? What’s the use in tricking him if he already can barely do anything? We know Rudy gets him eventually, but it’s just surprising that Farouk recognizes him as being a potential threat.

Cary neglected to inform Syd who else he was personally waking.

Is Walter seeing the zombies too? Unclear. But he’s less chill about his tormenting now.

David starts using humor to cope. From what we’ve seen he’s been non-stop screaming for a while. It seems like he stops panicking as much specifically because his mind is fracturing to help him cope.

His first alter (that we see). Rational Mind.

RM says the coffin is just an “idea.” Very specific word choice there.

Rm tells him to forget all the “lies” he learned in memory work and the MRI. That was all Summerland stuff, though. “It’s your mind.” Essentially, trust yourself. You know who you are, don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. Not even your new friends. Very reminiscent of, “You decide what is real and what is not.”

David doesn’t want to call his adoptive parents his parents anymore.

David’s happy to finally contextualize Farouk as a mutant and not a mental illness. It all starts making since to him, his whole life.

RM’s the first one to say “boohoo,” and it’s in response to David’s sadness over his bio-parents giving him away.

“I am pretty, I am loved.” “Good, keep going.” This mindset David’s falling into is specifically encouraged by his alters. In fact, it’s RM that pushes him down this path in the first place. David (non-Shadow King possessed David) has been avoiding this thought all season.

David’s a bit wrong here, and I think the difference tells us something important. David assumes Farouk possessed him after he was already living in the Haller’s house. But, we know it seemingly happened before Charles even got back from Morocco. So, given that Gabrielle’s mental health was already bad from post-partum depression (alternatively, it’s just the depression she already had) and Charles leaving her alone to go to Morocco, Farouk coming in and haunting the house probably sent things over the edge. David was most likely given away because Gabrielle wasn’t well enough to care for him like he needed, and Charles... 🤷🏾‍♀️ tbh. Might just’ve not wanted to raise David without Gabrielle. They both said they didn’t ant him to turn out like them. In s3 it’s made to seem like the house haunting was a combination of David and Farouk. David’s haunting time travelly presence probably made things worse, but Farouk would’ve gotten to the baby much sooner if not for him, and without David in the way Farouk probably would’ve upped his own intentional torments. The goal was revenge after all.

David assumes Farouk’s goal is revenge upon the whole world. Makes sense since that’s what Farouk’d been encouraging David to all season. And what he’ll continue to encourage him towards throughout s2 & 3.

Syd “woke him up.” She makes him more stable and sane. She grounds him in reality.

“I was sick, but I’m not sick anymore.” A moment of quiet deliberation with his alter and then he awakens with newfound confidence and a plan. This will repeat in a very tragic way later on.

Kerry, Syd, and a damaged comrade in a wheelchair. If I had nickel for every time this happens I’d have 2 nickels. Very weird it happens twice. Unless... mental clockworks and the end of s3 are supposed to parallel each other.

I assume the astral-plane diving suit protects whoever’s wearing it from psychic threats, much like the ice cube. At the moment, no one’s wearing it.

Sometimes psychics powers require a bit of miming to manifest. Oliver can’t just wave his hand and make a shield, not a strong enough one at least. Similarly, Farouk can’t just expand his mind into the future, he needs to go through a whole time machine building process in the astral plane.

Cary and Melanie seeing Walter get killed must hit hard for them considering he used to be a student of theirs. Sure, he turned against them, but still...

They juxtapose Walter dying with Rudy fully waking up. I wonder if that means it was his powers that were keeping Rudy docile and not necessarily the stab wound.

David is the one that wakes them all up, destroys the dream, and puts them back in their real bodies. And just in time for Cary to place the halo on his head. This is I think the first time David does a real act of super-heroism. The only potential one previously is saving Amy and he wasn’t really the one in control there. This is his first win against Farouk.

David’s not only got control of his powers, but control of himself for the first time, too. And it’s to the point where he’s perceiving things at lightning speeds and moving fast enough to catch bullets. Along with whatever power he’s using to halt the bullets momentum too. For now at least, this is our hero.

They play sinister music whenever he does the bright white light teleport. He does it again at the end of s2. Is it a specific kind of teleport, or is he just adding flair?

David didn’t teleport them directly to the base.

Kerry sadly looks at Rudy’s body.

Melanie looked around for Oliver but in doing so missed him meeting up with the others.

Everyone’s relaxing after their long fought for victory. David and Syd seem really happy. They find Oliver funny/charming.

When Cary’s talking to Kerry, in the background I can barely make out everyone else talking about potatoes.

David’s fine with Amy apologizing, just not in front of the others.

Instead of “The Poor Woodcutter and His Wife” Oliver calls it the “The story of The Lady and the Crane.”

Farouk doesn’t like small spaces either. Ha.

[moon-in-daylight]

Night Watch / Davos x reader

Summary: Waking up in the middle of the night, you notice that Davos is gone.

Words: 2.7k

Warnings: Smut implied

A/N: So, I’ve been rewatching Davos’ scenes and I felt the need to write something for him even though it’s garbage lol  because he deserves to be loved and accepted and also because we need more Davos’ fics

Still half asleep, you rolled on your side just to find that the other half of the bed was empty.

It took more than a few seconds for you to be startled by it, though. It wasn’t a strange thing after all, you were far more than accustomed to sleeping alone in that enormous and lonely bed night after night… But as your numbed brain tried to remember the circumstances in which you had fallen asleep, you found that something - or rather someone - was missing.

Davos.

Thinking about him immediately made you open your eyes and sit up to inspect the room with worry. Even though it was still dark you had to blink a few times to adjust your eyes, squinting them involuntarily when you tried to look at the blinding screen of your phone. It was 3:24 am and there was no sign of another person being there with you, at least none that your barely conscious state could perceive.

Your first reaction was to think that you had dreamt it all. It was the most logical, plausible explanation. It wouldn’t have been the first time that your subconscious made you think of Davos like that.

You didn’t feel proud of it, but from time to time you couldn’t help but fantasize about him.

Sometimes, when you two were together and he was telling you some anecdote about K’un-Lun and his early life, your mind involuntarily focused on the movement of his mouth instead of on whatever story he was sharing with you. And while contemplating his lips, you usually found yourself daydreaming about kissing them, feeling them against your skin as you pictured the way his hands would roam through your body. Imagining how he would eagerly remove every piece of clothing and the way his skin would feel against yours, how sweet his moans would sound in your ears as he thrusted slowly but deeply into you…

You were usually quick to snap out of those fantasies, but even if you had only been distracted for a few seconds, you weren’t able to quiet the embarrassment that took over you after imagining him that way. You barely could look at him in the eye after having your attention drifted away by those thoughts.

The friendship you shared was vital for the both of you and you didn’t want to ruin it with unrequited feelings.

You had met after he had escaped prison and, since the first moment after he had rescued you from being mugged, you felt safe with him. The tranquility you felt while being with him was such that you even offered him to stay at your place when he casually mentioned he was running away from justice. It was a risky decision to let a stranger into your apartment that easily, especially when he was a convicted criminal that chattered all kinds of nonsense about dragons and rightfulness, but you could see his intentions were good. There was something in you that trusted him blindly, even when you were convinced that the things he talked about didn’t exist.

It wasn’t until you observed with your very own eyes the way he made his fist glow a bright red during one of his training sessions that you realized that everything he talked about was real.

Hearing his story and how his home had been destroyed, you were quick to position yourself by his side. You knew he had done some bad things, but he was good at heart and you tried to help him see where he had gotten wrong. Surprisingly, he seemed to listen to you and care about what you had to say. It was clear he cared about you too, worrying whenever he saw you weren’t feeling good or taking care of you when you were ill.

It was heartwarming the way you supported one another despite your radically different backgrounds, the way you helped each other improve and see the world from another point of view. It didn’t take long for Davos to become one of the most important people in your life.

Finding out about each other issues and going through them together had been extremely helpful for you both. To talk about them and listen to each other’s advice when you didn’t know what to do. Davos had been through a lot of abuse during his life, and you liked to think that he had finally found in you someone to rely on, just as you had in him.

As he taught you to meditate and control your anxiety, you tried to make him see that he was a person worthy of dignity and affection, not ‘the second best’ as he had been told after losing the Iron Fist to Danny Rand back in K’un-Lun…

It wasn’t easy to erase the toll that years of constant abuse had left, but you had made so much progress while being together… You feared that you would be throwing it all away if he ever found out about your little fantasies. You didn’t want him to know what you felt for him because the last thing you wanted was to make him uncomfortable, especially because you knew how he had been raised and what he thought of sex. And, of course, he had told you how violent his only ‘sexual experience’ had been like…

But the images of him being all over you still creeped into your dreams from time to time, and your half-awaken, dazed-self supposed that was exactly what was happening that night.

Yet, as you slowly roused, you found that the sensations that your mind recreated were too intense to be fictional this time. In fact, you almost could feel as if his touch still lingered on your skin, the phantom feeling of hot, gentle kisses remaining on your neck and collarbone. That was when your mind finally cleared up and you realized it had actually happened.

You had slept with Davos.

Your mind slowly went through the events of that late evening, remembering that you had had dinner together and that you had watched a film in your couch afterwards.

It was normal that he didn’t get most of the inside jokes and implications of American culture in movies considering he had been living in a monastery most of his life, so you always enjoyed sitting in front of the TV with him and explaining every cultural reference that confused him. But that night he hadn’t asked you a single question, nor showed any of his usual discomfort towards the disgraceful and reproachable way in which the characters acted.

Not giving his silence a second thought, you quietly watched the movie until a sex scene appeared.

Looking at your friend from the corner of your eye, you watched him squirm uncomfortably on his sit, the images probably taking him back to the humiliating moment of his ‘sacrifice’, as he usually referred to that unfortunate event.

“We can fast forward this part.” You were quick to grab the remote and skip the frames until a different scene appeared on the screen.

“Have you been practicing lately?” He asked, unprompted. It took you a moment to realize he was actually talking about the Kung Fu lessons he had been imparting you.

As soon as you shook your head, he encouraged you to leave the movie half way through and go over some of the movements he had already taught you in previous training sessions. Truth was you weren’t really into what you were watching anyway, and you supposed it was too awkward for him to keep watching it. Since you had been the one to ask him to teach you how to fight, you willingly got up from the couch and started to show him the little progress you had made.

He didn’t let you finish showing him, though, as he immediately started to point out the flaws in your inexperienced technique, correcting your posture and reminding you to breathe properly to channel your Chi into your every move.

Davos was a harsh professor and he wouldn’t forgive a single mistake from you, telling you that you couldn’t afford to commit any error in battle, as your enemy wouldn’t miss a chance of exploiting your weaknesses. As demanding as he was, you knew that he was being especially tender and easy going with you, at least by his standards. It broke your heart to think about the strict way he had been trained and raised, how severe they had been with him when he was only a child.

Following his instructions, you started to throw punches and kicks at him, attacks that he easily blocked without breaking a sweat. You were definitely glad that you didn’t have to actually fight against him, being well aware that he would be able to end you in the span of ten seconds, maybe even less.

“You have to hit stronger.” His voice commanded you. “Faster.”

You did as you were told and increased the effort put in the fight, but immediately stopped the second he didn’t avoid your punch and your fist impacted against his chest.

“Don’t stand still.” He grabbed your hand and pushed it away. “Now you got it, come on.”

Without saying a single word, you resumed your offensive with the same intensity of that last punch. Unluckily for you, Davos seemed to be more alert now, anticipating each and every one of your movements before you even knew you were going to make them. With a few swift motions, he easily overpowered you, immobilized both of your arms and pinned you against the wall.

You tried to steady your breathing as you did your best to ignore what his proximity was arousing inside of you. Waiting for him to release you for another round, you found yourself growing more and more tense when he simply stared at you in silence, uncomfortably swallowing the lump in your throat when his grip on you didn’t loosen up.

The images of every time you had dreamt about him clouded your mind without you being able to do anything to ignore them, the growing heat between your legs becoming more unbearable with every second his deep brown eyes kept fixed on you. You closed your eyes in hopes that you could distract yourself, think of anything other than the man standing in front of you. But every attempt at doing so immediately failed when you felt the warmth of his lips pressing against yours.

Getting out of your thoughts, you rubbed your eyes as you recalled everything that had happened from that moment. The last thing you remembered the feeling of utter peace and tranquility that invaded you as you fell asleep in his arms.

That calm was completely erased from you now that you realized that he had left in the middle of the night, without saying goodbye or at least leaving a note.

Your heart raced as you mentally slapped yourself for having allowed that to happen.

How could you be so stupid? It was true that it had been him the one to take the first step by kissing you, but you should have known better. You should have figured that he would only disobey his moral code like that in a moment of weakness, a weakness that you had unconsciously taken advantage of. Now he probably had regretted everything and had ran away not wanting to see you or hear from you again.

You feared that your friendship was ruined beyond repair.

Maybe if you called Davos in the morning and talked about what had happened you could still sort it all out. You didn’t want to lose him, to have him walk out of your life just because you had gotten carried away in a moment of lust…

Deep down you knew what you felt for him extended far beyond simple lust, but you were willing to ignore those feelings, to act as if they weren’t there for the sake of keeping him by your side.

You buried your head in the pillow in an attempt to hold back the tears that already started to form inside your eyes, an intense ache inside your chest forming at the thought of having messed up so badly with Davos. He was the person you cared for the most and thinking that you may have caused him any wrong made you feel a profound disappointment on yourself.

It wasn’t until you felt an arm surrounding your waist and a slight shifting on the other side of the bed that you lifted your head, finding Davos laying down next to you again.

“Where were you?” Your voice was a bit husky from having just waken up a few minutes ago. You wanted to lay your head on his chest, but didn’t in case it would make him uncomfortable.

“I was checking the perimeter.” He said, as if it was the most natural thing to do at 3:00 am. “Did I wake you?”

You carefully shook your head as you avoided looking into his eyes.

Judging by the calm tone in which he spoke, you could tell that he wasn’t angry and you felt slightly stupid for having panicked and jumped into the conclusion that he had abandoned you so fast. Still, things weren’t solved up yet. As you finally looked up at him, you wondered in which state was your relationship at.

Davos had been taught that a living weapon should not get involved sexually or emotionally with anyone. And, even if you always tried to convince him that he was a person before a warrior, you weren’t sure he actually believed your words. You weren’t even sure he had ever even considered having a romantic relationship before that evening, but looking at the way he lovingly stared at you, it almost seemed as if he wanted you too.

“What would you check the perimeter for?” You asked in confusion. Was he in danger? Had Danny found him and wanted to bring him to justice? You started to become preoccupied as you thought of all the worse scenarios.

“I do it every night. This neighborhood is full of thugs and criminals, like the one trying to mug you when we first met.” He clarified, gaining a frown from you that silently asked him to explain further. You only hoped he hadn’t gone back to being a ‘vigilante’, it had taken you a lot of effort to talk him out of it. “By making guard I can make sure you’re safe.”

Instantly after hearing his words you felt your heart warming up, moved by the fact that he cared about you to the point of watching over you every night. Hesitantly, you got closer to him and taking the fact that he didn’t pulled back as a silent sign of consent, you placed a tender kiss on his lips.

“Thank you for taking care of me, but you don’t need to make guard every night.” You gently brushed your fingers against his stubble, your eyes on his as you spoke softly. “You need to take care of yourself and get a full night of sleep. Would you do that for me?”

The second he slowly nodded his head a gentle smile formed on your face. You pressed your lips against his once more before cuddling beside him, letting your head rest on his shoulder.

The calming sound of his breathing was enough to quickly made you sleepy again.

“Davos,” You mumbled his name with your eyes closed, feeling consciousness slowly fading from you. “I love you.”

You were too numbed to notice, but Davos’ body clenched at your words. You didn’t know, but it was the first time someone ever dedicated those words to him. He had fought all his life to get approval, travelled to the other side of the world to make the ones he loved proud, hoping they would show him the affection he had always craved for. When K’un-Lun was destroyed, he lost all hope of having someone say those words to him, of gaining someone’s love. And yet, there you were, right between his arms.

You were already asleep when he pressed a kiss on your forehead.

“I love you too.”

[b-rainlet]

Gotham for the fandom ask thingy.

(I ran here so fuckin fast you have no clue)

Hello anon! :D I will answer this now, so you don't have to wait any longer but also....this would be very nice to answer through gifsets...(maybe when I am feeling up for it).

For now, have this:

(It's not proof read because I just sat at this for several hours and I don't wanna look at it anymore).

Favourite Male Character

You mean...besides the obvious answers?? :D

Ngl, it's S2 Jerome. I love that little twink with his parental issues and his tragic backstory and I wanna see him happy. There's a reason I have a bunch of AUs where he ends up having a family (mostly in the form of Lee as his Mother) and gets some actual help instead of being ostracized for being a mentally ill person snapping after years of abuse.

(This also ties into my very strong feelings regarding the fact that nobody actually helps the people at Arkham. And I don't mean the main villains there, I mean all the inmates who get treated like shit and are left behind on the regurlar (remember in S2 when Arkham was about to explode and nobody was talking about evacuating the inmates???? I do).

Other than that, one of my faves is also Jonathan. Which may be a little surprising because I barely talk about him but he was my favourite character throughout the show and he had way too little scenes.

(Kinda telling that the characters I latched onto are both helpless teens who were fucked over by the people who were supposed to protect them and can both trace their villain origin story back to Jim Gordon not caring enough about them lmao).

But the cast is big and varied enough that I actually like everyone? Butch, Zsazs, Penguin, S1 and 2 Ed, Jervis, Harvey, Jim......I like them all!!

(Special shoutout to 514A too, he was soft and baby and I wanted to keep him safe and sound really desperately).

(Another special shoutout to Barnes!! I didn't expect to like him when I first saw him, given he looked like he was gonna be mean and stoic and all, but I ended up really liking him and his story!)

Favourite Female Character

Let's just pretend Ecco doesn't exist for this answer ajdkaskaslj.

I fell in love immediately upon seeing Ecco but all! the women! are so!!! good!!!!

I especially have a soft spot for the side characters. I mean, upon first watching I got attached to Alice (even though she only features in two episodes lmao), and also Kristen Kringle - who isn't talked about much within Fandom, but she was pretty and her and Ed were actually quite cute but then she had to die for him to become the Riddler which was...pretty much telling us from the beginnning 'The woman here die to advance the men's plots'.

Barbara was also a big surprise to me because I figured she'd be the female love interest and nothing more but!! her and Jerome were the best thing in S2 and also the most entertaining thing about the Maniax Plot. (In several ways, I think I had the most fun watching this show during S2 , it was just. Good).

Also upon being in this Fandom and thinking about certain characters a bit longer I also really like Vicky Vale. And Montoya. And I wish they had kept both around for longer.

(I also wish they wouldn't have made Vicky a love interest for Jim. Or Sofia. No love interests for Jim except Lee and Barbara please).

Also Selina!! I love both Selina and Tabitha with all my heart - which may also be surprising because I barely ever talk about Tabby but I contain multitudes aklskddsm, and while I like sharing my horny thoughts about Ecco, I also love to think about Tabby and daydream about her being happy and exploring her (and Selina's) issues with showing weakness and affection and their strong loyalty regarding people that they trust.

I just.....women. Women good.

(Women also deserve to have more character than just being somebody's love interests and I have enough wips that completely sideline the guys to focus on the woman instead lmao).

Least Favourite Character

I don't have many characters that I hate??

I generally tend to instantly love everybody unless they are specifically made to be unlikeable. (I also spite-like characters who are hated for petty reasons, I just have a lot of love in my heart and not much energy for hate lmao).

But there were characters who annoyed me while I was watching.

For one, I think Gotham has a variety of super entertaining villains, but the main villains of each season tend to be....boring.

Safe for Strange they all kinda fell flat for me. Theo. Kathryn. Ra's Al Ghul. His Daughter. Mostly because their plotlines were less exciting than stuff like Jerome's carnival or Mother and Orphan's Hotel of Horrors.

Or their motives seemed a lot less understandable than the ones of the other Batman villains who pretty much always come from a place of suffering and abuse and break/snap under the pressure that's put on them (continuing this take of Gotham creating its own villains by leaving behind - mentally ill - people that need help, which I think is very true to most - if not all - Batman villains).

And then you have some characters that simply suffer from the fact that the show was cut short - which is pretty much any and every S5 character that had way too little screentime, but in this specific case means Jeremiah.

Because I disliked Jeremiah a lot while watching.

Without wanting to step on anybody's toes, him and Nygma are probably the two characters on this show I ended up disliking the most.

Mostly because Miah felt like a very cheap copy of Jerome and to this day I think it was a bad idea to replace Jerome with him, since Jeremiah - to me - seems like a super flat character.

Maybe if we had gotten him without meeting Jerome first, just having a Joker character introduced in S4, maybe I would've adored him, who knows.

But in comparison to Jerome...no. Just no.

(I will spare you from any longer rambles, but I think if you follow me, I talked about the ways Miah is lacking for me before).

My made up version of Miah though? I love him.

With Nygma it's even worse because I adored him. I instantly liked him. I was 100% behind him right up until the godawful Isabella plot happened and then it just all went to shit so quickly, I couldn't stand seeing him on screen anymore.

It's surprising that I didn't stop liking Oswald but to me, Oswald pretty much stayed the same while Ed became all bitter and hard and I just miss dorky S2 Ed you know?

It actually got so bad, I completely turned my back on Nygm/obblepot as a ship because I was so severly disappointed and I barely talk about Ed because I just can't stand what they did with him.

(Another victim of bad writing).

Favourite Ship

I'm just gonna stick to canon ships because I don't ever shut up about my Fanon ships so you probably know which ones I love the most :D

There isn't much romance going on within Gotham if I think about it - apart from Jim - which I definitely prefer. You wouldnt guess it from my blog, but I am not a fan of too shippy stuff because in most cases it just means sex scenes and I can live without those. I want action! Blood! Dead People! Not a two minute make-out session between two bland characters!

I gotta admit that Ed and Lee have some cute scenes and I would definitely ship them if I didn't dislike S4 Ed so much (S2 EdLee tho?? Yes).

Also I thought Jim and Lee was okay and Baby Batcat was quite cute at times but mostly I don't care about the canon ships.

I do ship Barbara and Jim though :D

I remember right before they hooked up in S5 I was like: 'I wouldn't mind if they got back together' and then went 'yay!' when they did and I wouldn't have minded a little more 'Will they?? Won't they??' between those two and them just having the mother of unhealthy relationships on this show.

(Also Jim/Barbara/Lee poly relationship but we can't have everything).

Favourite Friendship

So many good relationships on this show!

I need to rewatch the show soon because I probably already forgot about most of them but from the top of my head: Oswald/Butch and Oswald/Zsazs

Which were both then done dirty lmao. One by having Oswald be overly petty (one of the few times I was like...Pengy...wtf...) and the other by passing up the obvious opportunity to have Zsazs find out who really killed Falcone and just...letting Oswald and Victor never interact again. 

Then of course Ivy and Selina which also gloriously fell apart. Just like Ivy and Oswald. 

(Gotham isn’t the best when it comes to maintaining friendships). 

And the biggest and most grandious friendship of them all: J Squad. 

(Who have too little scenes together honestly and then also simply fell apart after Jerome died. Consistency who?)

Favourite Quote

I don’t know, I don’t have many quotes in my head from the show. Me and my niece mostly reference: “Yeah, that’s a spoon.” - “IT IS ALSO A FORK!!1!!!”

Also: “Gotta Go! Gotta Go! They’re after me and the Scarecrow!”

(There are some dialogue blurps I have written down somewhere because they are inspriration for gifsets but in order to be able to just recite some of them from Memory, I would have to watch this show way more obsessively). 

Worst Character Death

I don’t even gotta say anything do I? :D

But I think the character death that actually made me cry was Jerome’s first death. I clearly remember crying because...he just wanted recognition! And praise! And instead he was used as a pawn and betrayed by someone he idolized and he was only 18! My poor little meow-meow!

Seriously, the only things that make me cry on this show: Jerome’s first death, any and all mention of Bruce as a baby - told by an emotional Alfred, any and all Bruce/Alfred interaction at all and Solomon Grundy. 

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment

I seriously need to rewatch this show, it’s been so long :D

But I remember being pretty excited for the J Squad Team Up - because I was like ‘If I were Jerome I would definitely work with Tetch and Scarecrow since they’re also in Arkham atm’ and then he did!!

And I also distinctly remember in S3 that I was close to falling asleep right when they scene came on where Oswald realizes his feelings for Nygma and let me tell you - it caught me so off guard, I was awake instantly lmao. 

(I knew that people shipped them but I was so used to mlm ships being popular when they only have a handful of scenes and are platonic friends that I didn’t expect them to actually have a possibility of being canon). 

From then on I was super pumped for them to deliver on that ship but well....we all knew what happened asnksnndk. 

Saddest Moment

Aside from the already mentioned scenes in the character death column, the scene where Bruce leaves and Selina runs to the airport. I always liked Selina but she wasn’t a priority character of mine (much like Bruce isn’t) but then that scene happened and in an instant, I felt super protective over her. 

She is now my baby. My daughter. My beloved wife. She deserves everything and most importantly she deserves better than Bruce Wayne. 

(Coincidentally that was also the scene where I decided I don’t care much about Bruce asldjkjlj. I absolutely adore early seasons Bruce though). 

Favourite Location

There are so many different locations, I don’t think I can adequately answer this with my spotty memory :D

But I always loved the few episodes where Alice features, because I love how her scenes are shot so probably the little carnival Jervis prepares for her.

Also!! Jeremiah's church!

Or Commissioner Loeb's secret house (Especially the Attic).

There are a lot of cool locations, I gotta gif some of them soon :D

[akatokuro]

The Inevitable StS Rewatch, Episode 36

One of the most truly pressing issues in Saint Seiya canon: why the fuck is Milo like this?

- I SEE THAT SAGA SENSED THAT AIOLOS WAS TAKING A BATH, SO HE FELT THE NEED TO JUMP IN TOO! and thus a meme was born

- Uhhhh, Saga? I know you probably had a crush on Aiolos at all, but... really, dude? ????????

- AND HEEEERE HEEEEE ISSSSSSSS

- Milo's ridiculous ego is on full display the second he opens his fucking mouth. No "what's going on, Pope?" or "How may I serve you?" but "WOW, POPE, FOR YOU TO SUMMON A GOLD SAINT! (DID I MENTION I'M A GOLD SAINT, BECAUSE I AM.)

- MILO. ALL HE FUCKING DID WAS ASK IF YOU KNEW ABOUT THE SITUATION. What is the need for you to add "heh, not that I care, since I'm so awesome, just so you know!" Yes, a lot of Gold Saints have pretty overinflated egos - yume and I actually thought about it, and we're pretty sure Camus is just about the ONLY one who doesn't pull some form of smug "heh, a Bronze trying to fight a Gold? lmao, and also, rofl" but Scorpio Milo is... something else.

- Ikki working for Sanctuary at first still feels really weird and ill-fitting. Well, fortunately, it's not really dwelled on that much, so it's easily ignored! That's one of the good things about there being no real Saint Seiya canon... <_<

- In a way, though, it is certainly fitting that Milo's scene here is our first proper introduction to a "Gold Saint", because Milo certainly thinks he is THE Gold Saint in a lot of ways. It drips from the way he responds to everything. "Measly Bronze Saints, they must be crazy, lol!" It's actually really interesting to think he was originally planned to be Hyouga's master. Like, in some ways that really fits - Smugswan had to get the smug and the overinflated sense of ego from somewhere, and it sure as hell wasn't Camus!

- It's also sort of interesting because Kurumada pulled the switcheroo on the basis of "oooh, ice/water themed signs, oooh!" But even at this stage, Milo definitely has a very, very different personality than Marshmallow Saint Camus. What would he and Hyouga's hypothetical encounter have looked like, really...?

- I'm not trying to imply, by the way, that Milo's sense of egotism is solely about straightforwardly boosting himself up - because it's not. It's intertwined with his perception of Saint honor and what it means to him to embody that, which becomes clear in how he deals with Camus, Hyouga, and Kanon respectively later on. It's also intertwined with a negative five thousand debuff to his intelligence stat, but, you know.

- I love Saga just sort of ignoring Milo going WHAT? A BRONZE BEATING A SILVER? RIDICULOUS, I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING! and continuing to exposit. Saga, why the fuck did you summon Milo of all people here to deal with this in the first place? I mean, not only would leaning on Aphrodite, Deathmask, or even Shura make infinitely more sense, but... it's fucking Milo. Did your bath-bonding with Aiolos rattle your judgment temporarily?  

- And right back at him, Milo basically brushes aside poor Saga's exposition to go "ARE YOU SERIOUSLY BOTHERING THE GREAT KONO MILO WITH THIS BULLSHIT, POPE? REALLY??? KONO MILO, THE GOLD SAINT???"

- Saga begins to realize his terrible, terrible mistake and cuts off Milo in the middle of his bitching, but Milo ignores him to continue whining.

- See, it'd be one thing if Milo suggested that the situation bore more investigation, or perhaps these Bronze Saints were being misled so they shouldn't be so fast to jump to the execution option, but no. It's all about his fucking pride.

- Saga is getting so edgy and short at this point and oh my god I cannot believe Milo is still fucking trying to argue with him THIS IS THE FUCKING POPE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

- Like, yume and I utterly lost our fucking minds at Milo blowing off Athena to haze Kanon when we were re-watching the Hades OAVs, but oh god it is extremely fucking consistent with this characterization here

- Poor Saga. "LOOK, THEY HAVE A FUCKING GOLD CLOTH, OKAY!?!? JESUS CHRIST WHY THE FUCK DID I NOT GET APHRODITE TO DO THIS"

- okay okay i know it's because lol seat of the pants kurumada making shit up as he went along and was promptly retconned out because it makes no sense but i will never stop laughing at milo being shocked that there are twelve gold saints. WHAT??? NOT JUST SCORPIO AND SAGITTARIUS???? WHO WOULD HAVE EVER GUESSED???? THEY COME IN, LIKE, A SET????

- Kanon pretending he's Sea Dragon is the funniest moment in Saint Seiya, but Milo's spectacular intelligence debuff is also a consistent point of hilarity.

- Shaina's crush on Seiya might be, like, one of my least favorite things in StS seriously. It's so unnecessary and it IS basically a pitch-perfect example of that "behind the ruthless, frightening female warrior lies ~the soft heart of a woman~ that only the dreamy male protagonist can truly uncover!" trope that I fucking despise with all my being.

- yume and I were cracking the fuck up to discover that the Tencent version of this sequence has Seiya bringing up the Saintias when Shaina explains the mask issue. Like, my issues with Saintia Sho as a series aside, that's just really adorable.

- The mask issue in general... there are really interesting things that you could do with it, both for Sainthood in general and for Shaina as an individual (the vibe I get is that Shaina takes it unusually seriously, even though it is accepted as a general rule) since it feels like sort of a mark of sexism that would be a part of an old, traditional, religious order - but I can't say I'm a fan of any attempts so far in the series to "address" it. Omega was a thing, and that thing was Bad.

- "Kill or love" is pretty bullshit, though. How about "kill or be expelled from Sanctuary"? I also don't really like Seiya being all "what, is that the only reason?" when he thinks it's about humiliation/pride - like, what's wrong with that? It makes sense with how Shaina has been characterized...

- this flashback is so fucking stupid

- OH NO, SEIYA, YOU SAW ME PET A RABBIT WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE KID AND I WAS A TEENAGER AND THUS YOU HAVE UNLOCKED MY SOFT WOMAN'S HEART! I bet Seiya fucking tried to jump a high bar, too, as every single woman from the Fate franchise happened to be strolling by?

- Like, Shaina, did you fall in love with this little kid who talked down to you then or... because uhhh...

- Also, like, yeah, it's Saint Seiya, and "pulled things out of my ass" and "retconned" are the name of the game, but come on, there was no indication of this kind of past in all the screentime Shaina has had up until this point. Wasn't her grudge against him regarding Marin and Cassios and being defeated by him in battle enough? Do we really have to enforce her ~femininity~ that Seiya ~exposed~ too? Ugh ugh ugh.

- Whatever, I really do like Shaina, this garbage aside. It's just a shame we fell back on this dumb trope of all things to justify her transition into one of the good guys when it was wholly unneeded.

- Aaaand we're back to Milo and Saga. I love how the framing of this episode implies that Saga has been sitting there having to explain things very slowly to Milo all fucking day. Gonna need another bath to unwind after this shit, Gemini.

- HAVE I MENTIONED, POPE, THAT I AM A GOLD SAINT, AND THUS I AM AMAZING? I'M NOT SURE YOU KNEW. LET ME MENTION IT AGAIN. I'M A GOLD SAINT, BY THE WAY.

- And Lia enters the scene!

- Okada made this an explicit issue in Episode G, but the contrast between fully-decked-out-in-his-Cloth "have I mentioned in the last five minutes that I am a Gold Saint, preen preen" Milo and Lia--who strolls in WITHOUT his Cloth, just his regular training clothes - is really striking.

- Milo's face when Lia comes in... hmmm...

- I don't think Saga, like, actively made a point of or went out of his way to play ~mind games~ with Aiolia or anything, but this is definitely a deliberate passive-aggressive diss. The kind you would give when it's like, ah yes, I ruined this kid's life, let me just innocuously twist the knife a little here...

- You really can understand why Aiolia is as fucking mad and as fucking repressed as he is, from the dressed-up hostility coming from both sides in this whole amazing shitstorm.

- This is... an amazing moment. "What if I still wanted Milo to go?" "Eh, I'd kick his fucking ass." And Milo's EXCUSE ME!?!?! reaction lmfaooooo

- You can just sense the stony bitterness coming off of Lia here, though? This is a dangerous game to play, considering the whole rule about "no duels between Saints." Just the sheer dismissiveness of it, too. Just as Saga gets in his passive-aggressive digs against Aiolia, Lia gets his in against... Milo, lol?

- And Milo starts trying to argue with the Pope AGAIN and Saga finally just tells him to shut the hell up. Saga confirmed for legitimately impressive patience honestly.

- God, and Lia just leaves once he gets the confirmation. I LOVE that Aiolia went through this whole thing since coming in without saying a single fucking word to Milo or sparing him more than a glance. Please, just ask this man about his opinion of Scorpio Milo, I’m begging you.

- MILO FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

- And Saga is the one who points out that, BECAUSE of his history and his relation to Aiolos, he has a compelling reason to work on this case in particular. Milo just stops at HOW COULD YOU RELY ON HIM HE HAS TRAITOR'S BLOOD. The intelligence debuff is real.

- But, yeah, you can tell Lia has cause to be as cold, dismissive, and passive-aggressive towards Milo as he was. They... they do not have a good relationship.  

- It legitimately boggles my mind how there is a weird semi-common fanon about Milo and Lia being close friends, or Milo being this great guy who was so supportive of him. I've run across it multiple times in my hunts for cute fanart or interesting discussion, and I feel like I'm staring at an incomprehensible alien entity every time. Like. Where did you get that. How did. The characterization we get from both of them indicates the exact opposite. I would not be remotely surprised if Aiolia, as bitter and angry as he truly is, is going to hold a grudge against Milo until the end of time, long after Milo has forgotten about it.

- Rather than being his friend, Milo is literally the ONLY Gold Saint we see actually giving Aiolia shit for being a traitor's brother. Like I mentioned back in the Silver Saint scene with Aiolia, yume and I actually talked about this - since she is a raving Aiolia fan and all - about the possible sources of Lia's torment from his peers. The shitty Silver Saints, yes, and Deathmask, yes, because he's actively malicious in general, but he wouldn't be rubbing it in because he actually cares or thinks Lia having "traitor blood" actually means something. MILO sure does, though!

- Milo is prideful, often in shallow ways, and incredibly overbearing about that pride, thinking he has the right to lecture and judge and override others, including Athena herself. There is like literally no question in my mind that he is friends with Camus because Camus is basically the only person who knows him who will actually tolerate him.

- Milo: "Hmm, lots of people don't trust the Pope, and no one has seen his face. WHAT COULD IT MEAN??? welp back to my temple wonder what camus is up to"

- "Brother, I will make up for your sin, even if I have to sacrifice my life!" with a thousand-yard stare. Aiolia, you really, really need some therapy, badly...

- Man, I was gonna cover more episodes with this writeup, but it ends up I had a lot of ranting bottled up about GOD MILO WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. Oh well. Next time, Aiolia continues to have serious, serious psychological problems! A good time is had by all!

[milquetoast-on-acid]

Sanctuary City pt4, A Reactionary Post

Loving you means supporting you through times good times and bad

Major Crimes, S6xE4: Episode Review This arc has been building and building emotional intensity for Sharon and I'm freaking loving it. This episode - I just loved it so damned much! It kind of feels a bit like fan fiction, with us getting a chance to see Sharon right after she collapses. Andy bulldozing his way into her ER room. And Sharon and Andy's emotional ILY scene in the middle of the episode. Like many of you the personal storyline way overshadowed the case to the point where I had to rewatch several times to actually understand what was going on with it.

What this episode is about: Vultures circling round the bone The Righteous What is the truth? The Squad's Hunches Father Jonas Returns Institutions of Power Protecting their Own The Church & Father Jonas LAPD & Sharon Dealing with the emotional fallout from a loved one's illness Lucas' Diabeties Sharon's Cardiomyopathy The Squad Provenza Rusty Andy To Be or Not to Be Rusty & Gus: Where do we stand? Ryan & Miguel & Lucas & Kelly: The Forbidden Relationships Sarah & Mateo: A volital relationship of two polar oposites Sharon & Andy: I Love You and nothing is going to stop us

Vultures circling round the bone

These reporters are freaking vultures. Their standing right in front of the Danielle Rojas' car and the one chick is knocking on their window. Like do they all really think their going to get any kind of interview with them as their making their way to the FBI offices to talk to their kids. These people are delusional. I also love the coverage that all of these reporters are giving this case making it really seem so very urgent as SO many stations are covering this case. Making it really vital, urgent and so very high profile for our squad.

Provenza complains, what else is new? "Are you done complaining." "Don't ask the impossible." I love this so much! Mason doesn't know Provenza very well, yet. Love Mike's quick quip and Provenza's response to it.

Mike acts as the number 2. "I'll talk to Vega. No I'll talk to Fay." Love that Mike takes it on to do the transfer. Since he's number 2 right now and he very quickly changes his mind on who he's going to deal with. I've thought that Fay was becoming much more of a game player than Vega ever was and so I think this is a smart decision if he has to talk to either one of them.

Flowers

I love seeing all of the flowers in the Raydor/Flynn/Beck family home. Sharon usually has some in her office and sometimes in their home. But there is a ton of them here. Some from everyone sending her flowers in hospital and if you notice there's also a lot of white and purple orchids and some light purple roses. Some of which have to be sent from people for the wedding.

Sharon: The best looking patient ever? Like who looks like that in the hospital!?

Can we talk about this fist bump Andy and Buzz have after he leaves? I just love that so much! Buzz is giving him such a great smile but Andy is pretty distracted by what Sharon’s going to say. 

What is the truth? "I don't know if you know this but teenagers tend to lie when they screw up." So the boys are finally released into LAPD custody and their story sounds like a pack of lies. It sounds so unbelievable. Lucas was taking them to some really cool unbelievable awesome place to do something - something and someplace that the boys claim they don't know. Lucas apparently had rented a limo to take them to this place. Before they really get anywhere some guy in the front seat gasses them and kidnaps them to Mexico.They find themselves in the middle of the desert thirsty and with drugs on them they claim aren't theirs.

It sounds like the boys skipped town to go do drugs. But then why would Lucas not take his meds or eat? And when Amy tests Lucas' bag, she doesn't find any traces of Oxy. Which means that Lucas did not bring any drugs with him. I have doubts about the squad's theory that the boys are telling a bunch of lies because of how much the evidence actually supports (some of the boys story). Not finding any drugs (or any trace of them) in Lucas' backpack. The fact that Morales found chloroform in Lucas' shirt which supports the boys story that they were gassed and passed out. I definitely think there are things the boys aren't telling the detectives but I think the thing that Ryan wanted so desperately to talk to Father Jonas was about Hector's death. 

Ryan confided in Father Jonas about some of the abuse from Hector. Which really makes me believe that Father Motherlover did kill Hector. I think what the boys said was partially the truth. That what happened to them was retaliation from whatever gang Hector was a part of and this was retaliation as a warning to the parents. Of course I could be (and probably am wrong but that's my theory). 

Plus the fact that Danelia Rojos (Ryan's Mother) knew that Father Jonas is coming back really supports the theory that he was (and had been) having an affair with her. Which also begs the question why the hell is this guy still a priest? "They couldn't just tell the boys that Lucas was dead. No they had to give them the circumstances." I also agree with Provenza why in the hell did the FBI tell the boys where Lucas was found!? They are so very bad at handling kids.

The Squad's hunches Even though the focus of this arc is on Sharon. Most of the team members had their little moments to shine and some of them had some interesting hunches. Julio noticing the shoves and freshly moved dirt in the Garrett’s backyard. Buzz taking charge of a search warrant and his knowledge of Spanish pushes their investigation further. Amy searching Lucas' backpack for Oxy and not finding any. Morales finding chloroform on Lucas' shirt. Page noticing something about about the artwork in Mateo's offices. I went back to when they first executed a search warrant in the offices of Mateo's practice and ...

This was the painting is part 4.

This painting in part 3.

Which means that the painting was replaced but why? Was it replaced in a struggle? Or is it being used to hide something. I think that it didn't have anything to do with a struggle because the painting matches the style of the other ones. Sharon makes a point of it to really focus on Mateo's practice as something he could lose. So whatever is going on probably has something to do with Mateo's surgery center.

Father Jonas Returns

The SIS team snatches Father Jonas up as soon as he lands back into LA. This conversation: "Father Jonas, Welcome Home." "Have a nice trip, Asshole?" "Why would you talk to me like that, Lieutenant?" "How about you ran from a murder investigation?" "I left to protect my vows." "Yeah that's what all the single mothers you slept with said too. Your very concerned about your vows." I love that as soon as Father Jonas shows back up the team really lets him have it and doesn't hold back on their feelings towards this shady MF. Sharon's back in her balanced state and her "Welcome home" statement is much more her diplomatic but thinly vailed contempt for him. Provenza who has absolutely zero filter left in his brain just says whatever the fuck he feels now. It's Sharon and Patrice that seem to be the only two that can rein him back in. Andy who zeros in on the investigation and how shady it looks for him to up and run away. And Julio who points to Father Mother-lover's shady behavior and how fucking hypocritical he is. 

Sharon might not say it but that look says EVERYTHING.

Institutions of Power Protecting their Own

The Church & Father Jonas

Notice that Bishop Calhoun is flanked by what looks like two very expensive lawyers. The church is very much backing Father Jonas and closing their ranks around him. They have gone so far as to actually removing him from the country.  

LAPD & Sharon Just like with Father Jonas, the LAPD (and more importantly Sharon's work family and home family) are protecting her too. Provenza throws a fit to get the FBI finally out of the PAB. And Andy bulldozes his way into being with Sharon by using his position of power to get himself by her side. Then both Andy and Rusty throw Sharon's obsession with the rules back in her face when she very clearly wants to go back to work way too soon.

That Ending Scene(s): This episode brakes away from all of the other parts and ends with Provenza as the focus and not Sharon. Julio is also rather emotionally torn up about the crime scene. And I think I agree with him. I don't think that Mateo killed Lucas and then himself. I could be wrong but I rather think that Mateo's suicide was staged. Although we will find out for sure next week. Staged to cover up whatever was going on in his Surgery Center.

Skirting the Law "The Law says no listening. Doesn't say anything about watching. Keep it muted and we'll be fine." I love all of this talk about what is and what isn't the law. And about how Sharon knows the law so damned well, to get what they want out of a case. I love how it's Mike that interrupts what they can and can't do to Buzz. Because after Sharon it's Mike that has thorough knowledge of the law. 

"I'm sure their not listening in." "That would be so against the rules." "Not illegal." Many years ago the team played fast and loose with the law. Including the entire reason that Sharon is in charge of MC. Now everyone is obsessed with the rules as much as Sharon is.

Dealing with the emotional fallout from a loved one's illness

Lucas' Diabetes

There's already been a parallel drawn between Lucas' diabietes and Sharon's heart condition. Lucas' family was really on him to take care of himself and his mother was very devoted to making sure he got the proper care and attention that his illness needed. Unfortunetly dealing with that it seems that Lucas' parents had a lot of emotional stuff on their plate - and neiter of them was really dealing with it.

Sharon's Cardiomyopathy The episode starts right after the last one and dives right into the action of Sharon's collapse. There are so many emotions flying around the room and it's so wonderful to see just how torn up everyone is about Sharon. Amy's cracked voice as she leads the paramedics to Sharon. Mason, catching himself telling the paramedics her name is Commander Raydor and quickly switches to her given name. Realizing that they don't care what she does or what her rank is. Mike, who I didn't realize was holding her head. Thank you to whoever pointed that out. I thought it was Provenza but he's on the other side of her. 

Provenza "She's none of your damn business is what she is." Provenza tries to rush the paramedics to where Sharon is lying and then later on his reaction to the FBI agents is quite unlike anything I've ever seen from him. He's PISSED. And while we've seen him pissed - we haven't seen him this mad - ever. 

I know I've said this many times and I'll probably say this many times again throughout my reviews but the two of them have really come so damned far. Their relationship is completely different than what it was in TC and the beginning of Major Crimes. Provenza wanted nothing to do with Sharon and even wanted to help her pack her bags to leave them all the hell alone. Now - I think Sharon's a rival for Provenza's best friend. 

Right after Sharon explodes with anger towards the FBI. Provenza follows suit. Yes, he's angry at them for being snakes in the grass with the boys. But he's really really scared about what happened with Sharon. So much so that he takes it out on the FBI agents in a way that no one really expected. Everyone is startled by his behavior. Mason, Mike and Wes. The guy is barely keeping it together. He's hunched down, visibly shaking and gritting his teeth. Amy has to lead Provenza away before he completely falls apart on them. 

I love Julio following that up with: "You don't know me but believe this. The Lieutenant wants you lying sons of bitches out of here. That's what will happen." Notice how Provenza looks at the floor where Sharon was just lying and back up to Mason. To which there is no doubt that Mason was going to send them packing when Sharon told them to leave with just as much anger as Provenza. 

"We hope that Sharon is just dehydrated." Why do I have a feeling that this is a knock at Mary for dehydrating herself on set and then calling out on herself on social media. This guy looks so excited to see her when he bursts through the the ER curtain. The guy doesn't run but look how fast he bolts to her side.

Rusty "All of that for the flu!?" Provenza is really starting to freak Rusty out. The doctor tells Rusty that all of those test are standard but I do wonder if he wasn't trying to calm him down. And by this time Provenza is back to his normal self, even if he's still worried about her. He's now cracking jokes and as we also know that's his defense mechanism when he's worried over a loved one. And I also feel like he's doing a little bit of back peddling, because now he's spoke before he thought and is realizing the impact of his words to Rusty. 

"Cardio - Cardio...what?" "Cardiomyopathy." Love seeing Rusty googling Sharon's heart condition. Certainly makes sense. Knowledge is power, especially for Rusty. Knowledge is also power for Sharon, which is something that Rusty has really absorbed from her. 

Knowledge about the disease will help him understand what Sharon's going through. I also really love that it's Andy she tells first about her diagnosis. And she's much less emotional here than she was when she had this conversation with Andy. She seems much more at peace with it but we know she's still struggling (and will struggle) with it and it's emotional (and physical) implications in her life. I really love it because it really shows her motherly ways. And her talking to Andy first really helps her separate her feelings to put more of a protective shield around herself in front of Rusty. 

"What can I do to help?" "Accept the full undercover security detail that the LAPD recommending. It would take a lot of stress off my heart, I am sure." Rusty walked right into that one. Sharon just guilt-ed Rusty into getting him a police protection and it worked. THIS is what I expected her to do but it seems like she was waiting for something to use to push the protection detail on to him. Sharon doesn't feel any remorse for using guilt on him to protect her baby. Something else that Rusty has learned from Sharon (and very well) is the art of the deal. He still insists on that gun. And with him being hunted (even though Sharon doesn't like it) it may be something he might actually have to use. Even Sharon understands that because of what happened with the Josephs three. The fact that the boys were caught unaware and not armed with any kind of protection.

Andy Andy sitting right in front of Sharon trying to be very calm for her. I love him being very calming and gentle in way he's speaking to her.Then very quickly becoming a tiger to anyone that comes in between him and being with her. I love him taking charge by telling them that three sets of black and whites will make a faster ride to the hospital. He doesn't hesitate to let his position as a police officer get faster care for his fiance. Does he care? Andy's a guy that will act first and think about the consequences later on. 

"Sir, I know this is hard. Please wait out here while we help her." "I'm her husband." "Okay, sorry but we don't allow family to -- Plus I have one of these." I love Andy pushing his way into being with her in the ER. He's not taking no for an answer. Not only does he lie to the nurse but backs that shit up with is badge. I love the look on her face, she's not too happy about it but I think at this point there wouldn't be any stopping Andy from being with her. He's so freaking gentle with her and to everyone else he's got a HUGE set of teeth and you don't want to mess with him. Andy does not hesitate to tell them he's her husband. Even though technically that's not true just yet.  He does his best to bulldoze is way into being with her and I LOVE IT SO FREAKING MUCH. 

She's got to be used to patients loved ones trying to be with them but now she has to deal with a stubborn cop husband who's not taking NO for an answer. I've always wondered what if something happened to Sharon before they'd gotten married. Would Andy just lie about them being married to get into be with her. And the fact that it actually happened makes my shipper heart sing! Andy & Rusty ganging up on Sharon to better take care of herself.

"Sharon, your off the clock." I love both of the guys protesting against her going back too soon and pushing herself. Love all of the looks they give the other. Andy shaking his head in protest. And lets face it Andy, Sharon ignores her physical and mental health just as much as you do. 

"Them is the rules." I love how both Andy and Rusty use her own obsession with the rules against her. And also the fact that Andy said THEM is the rules. I don't know why him phrasing it like that tickles me so much but it does. When Rusty retaliates "The Rules, The Rules" to Sharon. She really doesn't like that both of them bring it up and how much can we love the look she gives back to Rusty. Shaking her head at him. It really reminds me of when Brenda didn't think that Sharon was capable of tracking a suspect of theirs and Sharon shakes her head at Brenda. 

"Sharon the doctor wanted you to rest." "I'm home. I'm sitting. Okay I'm done." Andy seems like he's only letting Sharon go so far in how much she pushes herself. And isn't afraid of telling her that she needs to slow down. She kind of listens to him. When he gives her this wonderful look of disbelief. She stops, only long enough to send off an email to Provenza. He's so worried about his wifey and what's going on with her. I love this little moment before she sends Provenza and email. She gives him a smile but you can tell how emotionally torn up she is. He gives her one right back but as soon as she turns her head he sighs with so much worry.

Sharon "Sharon can you tell me what hurts." Sharon being so out of it that she can't speak. I love how she looks to Andy when the question is asked. And he gives her reassurance to calm her down. 

"I'm okay." Girl, you fainted, your strapped to an gurney with a oxygen mask on your face and your STILL insisting your fine. 

(And what her illness is doing for her character) The one thing that I love about this illness storyline of Sharon is that we are seeing things from Sharon that we haven't or haven't seen much of before. We are seeing Sharon really struggle with something emotionally and physically. Sharon (for this last arc) is behaving rather unlike herself. She's become much more emotional about things, letting herself feel things more. Her trying not to break down when faced with Lucas in the flower bed and having to set away from the crime scene. Her outburst of anger at the FBI agents. Her struggling to keep up her normal appearances to protect herself and her family from her illness. Her being so caught up in emotion (despite her appearances) that she forgets that Rusty's phone is in her hand. 

"I'm curious." Sharon is very much like Brenda. A workaholic that often takes presidence over her own mental, physical and emotional health. Sharon though, won't put her work above her family the way Brenda had a tendency to do. Herself yes but not Rusty or Andy. 

"If I could just talk to you alone for a little bit." "I'm her son." "I'm her husband, ugh almost." "And I am her esteemed colleague." I love how EVERY single one of them uses their relationships to her to get allowed to stay during the diagnosis. I would think that both Andy and Rusty would have been allowed to stay. Because they are personal family and because Andy would have medical power of attorney. And how Andy tries his badge trick yet again with the doctor but it doesn't work here. I love Provenza's amusement at Andy.

Romance abound, some meant to be and other's not so much.

Ryan & Miguel & Lucas & Kelly The Forbidden Relationships

I haven't really talked much about this one but this little quadrangle romance is one that parallels Rusty, Gus and Aiden. Ryan struggles with his sexuality in the that Rusty did (and still does). The fact that Ryan has a crush on Miguel (which Miguel I do believe doesn't know about). Ryan who suffered abuse from his stepfather and has an emotionally volatile mother. Just like Rusty's biological parents. The fact that Lucas and Kelly is also a forbidden relationship because of her fathers racist bullshit beliefs and how they had to hide from him.

Rusty & Gus & Aiden Where do we stand? So Gus has RSVPed to the wedding and has ordered the salmon so it's pretty much a given that he's going to be there. Even if his and Rusty's relationship is pretty much over. Rusty is pretty convinced that Gus won't show up to the wedding. But Sharon, is a person who does not give up on people or relationships and she seems like she still has her heart set on Rusty and Gus. My feelings on the two of them is that. I had high hopes for them at one point but so much has happened to push them apart and I really think that it's in the cards for them to break up.

Sarah & Mateo A volatile relationship of two polar opposites Like Ryan, Miguel, Lucas and Kelly is to Rusty, Gus and Aiden. Sarah and Mateo is a mirror to Sharon and Andy's relationship. While we don't get much play of their relationship here. But rather interestingly Mateo ends up dead at the end of the episode. And Sarah is left all alone with both her husband and son dead. Kind of where Sharon started at the beginning of the series. She had her kids yes but they were miles apart from her and only come home really during the holidays. 

Sharon is similar to Mateo in that she pulls away and isolates herself (and her emotions) in trying to deal with her illness. Mateo chose to drug himself and pull away from his family in dealing with his sons illness. While Sarah allows her emotions to get the better of her. Sarah and Mateo are so different in how they deal with their emotions, especially those regarding their son and how they deal with his illness. 

"I'm 100% positive."  "You can't be sure."  "Yes I can because ---." "They couldn't take the oxy from me because I know exactly how much I have." "I'll check out how much oxy I have and see if Lucas and his friends have taken any of it." This is such a telling conversation here. Mateo is so damned sure that the boys hadn't taken any of his oxy but then he's not so sure if they've taken any of his oxy. 

Here's another tiny thing but Mateo's office is decked out with artwork depicting sports figures in action. The guy is a HUGE sports fan, and we also know someone who's a big baseball fan. And someone else who's a big football fan. It's really tiny but I think it's cute that Mateo loves sports just like Sharon and Andy. After I wrote that I noticed that Mateo’s practice is about Sports medicine so he must treat athletes there. 

Sharon & Andy I Love You and nothing is going to stop us Rip my heart out why don't you? First of all! It's the very first time we are getting a scene in Sharon and Andy's bedroom. It really has been years in the making. Now I'm not going to talk too much about this scene here because I'm working on a separate post devoted just to this scene. I really think that there's so much emotionally going on that it really needs (and deserves) it's own post. 

It's also a bit frustrating not finding out what's going on with Sharon when the doctor tells her but I do like how they had us find out when Sharon finally tells Andy what's going on with her. Because of her relationship with him and our investment in that relationship. And how we can get more emotions coming off of him because he's in love with her verses emotions that a doctor has about his patient. I think in this case it was the right decision. 

One thing I will touch on is the I Love You. Better late than never and what a I Love You did we get. OMG GOD! I think much like with Laura Roslin, hearing Sharon saying the words was much more important than hearing them come from Andy. That scene was so very emotional, very intimate. Just exactly what we had all been hoping to see for so long. And I am also happy to say that this scene has beaten out the Hug for my favorite Shandy scene. Which I'm sure tops the list for many people. 

The difference in Sharon and Andy's relationship verses Sarah and Mateo. Is that Sharon and Andy have managed to meet in the middle with Sharon's illness. Sharon tries to pull away but Andy doesn't let her. Sharon and Andy's differences in their personalities don't hinder their relationship but make it better. It is VERY clear that Sarah and Mateo don't talk about what's going on with Lucas and all of their emotions surrounding it. And so both Sarah and Mateo deal with it on their own by themselves. While Andy makes it VERY clear that their dealing with Sharon's illness together. Both Andy and Mateo are addicts but Andy is actively dealing with his addiction and is in a much better place than Mateo is.

What I didn't like: Just as I thought this case was wrapping up they throw in another curve ball...or dead body. One nitpick about this episode would be that Sharon and Andy weren't in their bed when they had their conversation. And I think Sharon could have used a physical embrace from Andy. The other nitpick that I have is that Sharon is not the emotional focus at the end of the episode. And because of that breaks the pattern of the other episodes in the arc. 

What I liked: Having them pick up right after the last episode and we actually got to see the drama of them rushing Sharon to the hospital. Having everyone dealing with that (or not really dealing with their emotions - looking at you Provenza). This is something that we missed out on when Andy collapsed at the end of White Lies and I'm so very glad that they fixed that this time around. Seeing Sharon and Andy's bedroom FINALLY! Having such an emotional scene between Sharon and Andy where they actually talk about their relationship. A conversation that's not cut off and feels finished and I'm so very satisfied with it. 

That this is an episode that deals with Sharon and something she's struggling with and that it's the forefront of the episode. A Sharon storyline that her personal story is the FOREFRONT of the episode not the case. I don't think anyone could really considerate on what the hell was going on with the case due to all of the emotions surrounding Sharon's heart condition. 

Also Mary is a gift we don't deserve. Kudos also to Tony and GW! 

[amorremanet]

Sebastian: 2 + 38; Pete: 5 + 45; Margot: 25; Lucy: 26; Sara Grace: 13; Adelaide: 50? (...I apologize if this is just too many questions.)

oc questions meme that i totally didn’t forget about (except for how i kinda did, but mostly i was just lazy about typing up my longhand from saturday night)

SEBASTIAN2: What's a movie your character really, really doesn't enjoy?

Pretty much any and all horror is probably going to be on Seb’s, “can we please not” list, because he squicks really easily and does not have a good gag reflex when it comes to movies. He also gets emotionally affected and upset really easily, and arguably has an even worse gag reflex when that gets involved.

Like, seriously, even Shaun of the Dead is kinda pushing it, for him

That said? Of the Three Flavours Cornetto movies, the one that really sicks him out is The World’s End, not because the movie itself is that gross, but because he can’t help identifying in really self-loathing ways with Gary King.

So, watching Gary go on his increasingly destructive quest to drink a pint in each of the twelve pubs along Newton Haven’s Golden Mile, even while the world is going to sci-fi Hell and all his old friends are getting really upset with him, makes Seb get unhappy, then distressed, and then violently ill in the nearest wastebasket.

That being said, Requiem for a Dream gets a very special mention on his list because, unfortunately for him, his “it’s complicated” is a hipster fuck who went to film school and thinks it’s cool to brag about having seen RFAD more than once.

(I mean? It is an actual facts accomplishment, Todd, but calm down. Just because it’s an accomplishment doesn’t mean that it’s one that you should brag about, because it mostly makes people think you’re kind of an asshole.

……Which isn’t unfair, bc Todd is kind of an asshole, and unlike Pete, he isn’t self-aware about it, buuuut that’s another matter.)

Either way, Todd being one of Seb’s favorite people means that Seb first had to see RFAD once. To the surprise of no one but Todd (but in fairness, this was still early into their friendship), Seb got violently ill in the nearest wastebasket, cried, and wasn’t impressed when Todd thought him saying, “The horror, the horror” was a, “trying to cope with the movie through grim humor”-style joke based on how, earlier that night, Todd had been complaining about having to read Heart of Darkness for a lit class.

(I mean, it was a Heart of Darkness reference, but…… no, Seb was being completely serious about it. If they hadn’t brought up Heart of Darkness earlier, he would’ve expressed it in some other way, but that was what he came up with in the moment.)

Then, Seb had to see it again, even though once was really more than enough. He could’ve opted out, sure, but unfortunately, there isn’t a lot that he wouldn’t do for the people he loves, which makes him kind of a doormat sometimes, and in this instance, meant that he was easily swayed by Todd promising him that maybe he’d make it through without getting sick this time, since he already knew what was going to happen

(not quite) spoilers: ……Noooot really, nope. If anything, the rewatch made things even worse for Seb.

Then, they tried a third time, and that was the last time Seb ever attempted to sit through the whole thing, largely because Todd got it through his head that…… okay, no, this isn’t a one-time thing, or a coincidence, or anything like that. Seb will always get physically ill at RFAD and when that happens, he definitely ends up puking. So, after the third time, Todd finally quit trying to make Seb sit through it with him.

38: Your character's general opinion on kids. What if they were to have a kid? What if something happened and someone had a kid and your character was the only one who could take care of that child?

In general, Seb likes kids a lot and, when he’s doing okay, he gets along with them pretty well. There are several reasons why he is one of his seven-year-old niece’s favorite uncles, and one of them is that he’s genuinely better than either of his brothers at getting on Marie’s level without either condescending to her, or treating her like a tiny adult just because she’s intellectually gifted.

(To be fair to Max and Ambrose, they try their best — especially Max since, y’know, Marie is his daughter and he is such a dorky, “proud of everything his kid does, ever” dad — but both of them have trouble finding the balance here, which is also fair because lbr? It’s a difficult balance to find, much less maintain.)

The problem is that Seb is not always doing okay. More often than not, he’s way more likely to be Not Okay, and when he’s Not Okay, one of his first impulses is to withdraw from absolutely everyone.

For most of Marie’s life thus far, that has also tended to involve him getting intoxicated — and increasingly, it was, “intoxicated to the point where, at best, it should be termed, ‘getting really fucked up’; and at worst, he would probably be dead if not for his shiny mutant healing factor” — which made him actively avoid being around her, for a laundry list of reasons, including but not limited to:

“What if something happens and I get left alone with her, she could get hurt”

“What if something happens, I get left alone with her, and something happens to me, so she has to watch that and she now doesn’t have a guardian”

“What if I finally run out of extra lives around her, because as someone who has discovered the corpse of someone who died by overdose, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, especially not her and especially not when she’s so young; even if she might not remember her, finding someone’s corpse will fuck you up and she doesn’t need that in her life”

(—he said, feeling bad about all the broken promises that this usually involved, but also feeling like breaking them and disappointing her was better than potentially dying in some place where his tiny niece could find him, like?

Dying itself? Didn’t sound too bad or like that much of a problem. But dying where the sight of his corpse could potentially traumatize Marie? That would be Terrible.)

“What if I can’t fake like I’m sober well enough for her to believe it — I mean, Max and Linda probably wouldn’t believe it even if I were, but if I’m so obviously not-sober that even Marie gets it, what if she sees it and blames herself for it? She’s gifted but she’s still a kid, and she’s a sensitive kid, and even adults have trouble understanding when something about a person they love being a fuck-up isn’t their fault”

and, “I don’t want her to see me like that, she’s probably one of the only people on the planet who still doesn’t think I’m totally worthless”

(—he said while: 1. not getting it that none of the people who are saved as favorites on his phone — i.e., a grand total of 14 contacts, at that point, out of 1,000+

[though that number includes things like favorite takeout places and NYU campus security, even though he hasn’t been an NYU student since May 2007 and has changed his phone multiple freaking times since then, and even given that he has had good luck with SIM cards, there is no reason for him to still have the number for NYU campus security]

—just…… yeah. None of the people he cares about most actually think that he’s completely worthless. He is literally the only person whom he deals with on a regular basis who thinks that;

and 2. ……uh, yeah, no. Cool intentions, Seb, but at this point, your niece had definitely seen you in a state that you would describe as, “like that.” She’d even seen you, “like that” more than once.

Maybe Marie didn’t entirely get it or understand what was going on — and bc she was a grand total of five when you went to rehab, the initial explanation that she would’ve gotten out of her parents would’ve been something like, “Uncle Bastian is very sick right now, and he’s going to be okay, but he had to go away to see the doctors who have special training to help him get better”

—but she still definitely saw you, “like that.”

And then, a few days before Christmas 2014, Marie got to see him while he was, courtesy of some regrettable heat of the moment decision-making, cold turkey detoxing because she had been promised a playdate, and Seb was cognizant enough to do that if Max and Marie came to his place instead (on the plus: six dogs), and Pete was free to come over as chaperone (since Max trusts him, but not Todd or Margot)

And that playdate did involve an attempt at explaining an idea that even adults sometimes have trouble with, in a way that a six-year-old would understand, but oddly enough, the concept had to do with why pit bulls have a bad reputation that they do not deserve, and why some people are assholes who abuse their dogs

The concept of, “Uncle Bastian is sick right now because he decided to recommit himself to sobriety and broke up with his latest bad idea, but instead of trying to do this a bit more responsibly — i.e., talking to a doctor and getting weaned off of everything safely — he just got rid of all of his pills, alcohol, and assorted paraphernalia, and didn’t remember why this might’ve been a bad way to handle things until he started getting sick at church on Sunday morning”?

Like, yeah, they had to change the wording a bit, but that made perfect sense to Marie

(—which her uncle is really not proud of, since the fact that she understands this as well as she does at her age is pretty much entirely his fault, but…… it’s not like he can undo any of his decisions here)

(nor can anybody else undo theirs, because none of my mutants are allowed to have time travel powers, period.

Any “minor time manipulation” is exclusively limited to shit like, “it’s actually enhanced speed that goes so fast that they essentially enter bullet-time, or have GOTTA GO FAST!! super-moments, like the Days of Future Past and X-Men: Apocalypse movies did with their whitewashed Quicksilver, or like the one bit of the “Three Hundred Big Boys” episode of classic Futurama, where Fry drinks so much coffee that he speeds up into a magical super-fast state of calm or something)”

But they are not actually examples of, “time manipulation,” much less time travel, because time travel powers are silly and they too easily either destroy all semblance of continuity or turn into hella over-powered game-breakers that violate the agency of literally everyone who isn’t using them

—or, worse, cause all kinds of moral and ethical dilemmas like, “well, if Superman can turn back time by flying really fast around the Earth because that makes sense, then why doesn’t he just go back and kill Hitler? why is it more morally defensible for him to let the Holocaust happen than not?”

—and because frankly, I don’t want to deal with that, so, no one in my universe gets to have any legitimate time travel or time manipulation-related powers, end of discussion

But anyway, I was saying)

Right. So, Marie generally understood the concept of, “so, your uncle was once more abusing his substances of choice for a sustained period of time, but now he isn’t, and rather than doing the safe thing, he did the quick thing based on heat of the moment, emotional decision-making, which involves him being sick for several days”

Animal abuse, on the other hand, did not make any sense to her at all

But that’s an entirely different matter and I’m so far off the point right now that it’s not even funny.

BACK ON THE ORIGINAL, ORIGINAL TOPIC

……so, yeah, uh.

Seb has some hangups about being around kids, but they mostly involve, “oh my god, I don’t have my life together at all and what if I am actively detrimental to the well-being of the kid(s)” — and for all some of this is an understandable fear for him to have, based on a lot of precedent from him…… uh?

Other parts of it are legitimate nonsense, based in a potent mix of hella self-loathing, hella bullheaded refusal to forgive himself for just about anything, hella letting his imagination get the better of him and rationalizing justifications for this without realizing that they’re not as accurate to reality as he thinks, and holy unrecognized generalized anxiety disorder, batman

At the moment, he’s fine with the only kids who are actually his being his six dogs, and has given essentially no thought to ever being a parent to human children, partly because he assumes that it won’t ever happen (bc he can’t see anyone wanting to have kids with him, and feels like, “it wouldn’t be fair on the kids to stick them with me, like that’s just unconscionable”), and partly because what little thought he has given the idea? Has been deeply terrifying

He’s marginally less terrified of something happening to Max and Linda, at least from a practical standpoint, because Seb knows that custody of Marie goes to his and Max’s parents, first, should anything happen to both of Marie’s parents

Like, he doesn’t WANT anything to happen to either his brother or his sister-in-law, much less both of them, and he might not admit it to himself, but if something happened to Max, Seb would be a Mess about it.

But at the same time, he could cope with it better because as much as he loves Marie, he wouldn’t be her legal guardian and she’d be in the competent, caring hands of her grandparents

If it ever happened that he wound up with custody of her and any potential future siblings she ends up with…… well.

There are three major possibilities for why that might happen: 1. Seb somehow redeemed himself to Max and Linda so much that the part where he’s Marie’s godfather became more than a ceremonial thing, and he actually did get switched to the person who gets custody of Marie if anything happens to both of her parents;

2. Abe and Marceline both died, and Seb had redeemed himself to Max and Linda enough to be the first-alternate to his and Max’s parents on the, “who gets custody of Marie” hierarchy;

or 3. Whether he redeemed himself or not, nothing was actually made official, but everybody else died or couldn’t be contacted (or is kind of stuck in mutant supermax, awaiting trial for various charges of fraud, conspiracy, bribery, election-related tampering, rape, sexual assault, torture, murder, illicit use of metahuman abilities, tax evasion, and possibly treason, as Conrad eventually will be), so Seb ends up as Marie’s guardian by default

Regardless of the situation here, uh. His first reaction is going to be to make himself hold it together as best as he can until Marie is in bed and asleep for the night, and then just try to have a meltdown as quietly as possible so as not to wake her up. Because, even in the situations where he did something to redeem himself to Max and Linda, abruptly being saddled with custody of his tiny niece after an undefined something happened to his big brother and his sister-in-law?

……Yeah, Seb’s not going to handle that well, at first

I mean, he will step up and try to keep it together and try to do his absolute best to take care of Marie and be a good, responsible, and loving guardian to her

But he’s an easily stressed out Disaster, and he would not handle the initial shock of losing Max and Linda well (+/- the rest of their family, too), and he would really, really need a lot of help with this, both in terms of, “keeping it together emotionally because he needs to grieve and deal with the stress here or it’s not going to make any of this less horrible for the tiny human who just lost her parents”

and in terms of, “Seb has never cared for a tiny human for any real extended period of time before, and there is a HUUUUGE difference between being a favored uncle who spends time with her, usually with at least one more consistently responsible chaperone, and can make lunch and take her to the zoo and whatnot……… and actually being a parent”

PETE5: Your character is partial to people who _____? (Are tall, have blue eyes, tend to be rowdy, etc)

In general, Pete tends to be partial to people who are, “interesting,” “different,” or at the very least, “not boring,” which is about all he ever says on the subject because his opinion is, “lmao, I don’t need to explain myself to you.” In fairness to him, “interesting” could mean a lot of things for Pete.

e.g., Aside from them just having been through a lot together since, Seb first went from, “freshman I’m supposed to babysit and ‘mentor’ or whatever because Sister Mary Ignatius said so” to, “actual friend” because of his reactions to seeing sides of Pete other than the witty, effervescent, charming façade that he put on in high school.

Like, the side of Pete that was a karaoke prince, which usually only came out at parties when he was sufficiently drunk, or in the sanctity of his bedroom with his cassette player and his sister Cora’s hairbrush;

the side of Pete that professes that his music taste is, “I don’t care anything but country” and yet adores Dolly Parton, and says that she doesn’t count as country because she is a Diva and divas transcend genre, obviously;

the side of Pete that was anxiously hyper-protective of the shoebox under his bed where he kept his collection of pics of cute guys that he clipped out of Cora’s discarded teen girly and, “young ladies’ interests” magazines (Luke Perry circa 90210 and the guys of Buffy made a lot of appearances in said shoebox because Pete collected said pics in 1995-2001);

the side of Pete that has a lot of insecurities, many of which are grounded in how he has trouble reconciling how much he loves being around people and wants to be popular, with how much he, A., doesn’t actually like most people, and B., is terrified that his shit-bag Dad was probably right and he is fundamentally unlovable;

and the side of Pete that baby-talks at cats for 10+ minutes without getting bored, or showing any signs of stopping at all until said cats get tired of him and leave.

And it’s not like Pete let Seb see said sides of him as some kind of test or anything like that. Some of them came out by happy accident

While others came out because Pete still thought of Seb as, “that freshman who is my peer mentorship kid now or whatever, I guess, and wouldn’t you know it, I got matched up with the one who might be the only other gay kid at St. Andrew’s who doesn’t think he needs to hate himself for it,” and Seb really wanted Pete to like him and tried so hard to be accommodating and unobtrusive that Pete did, sometimes, kinda forget he was still there.

But then Seb found most of these things genuinely endearing in one way or another, which Pete found deeply confusing, so he took more of an active interest because he wanted to find out what Seb’s deal was…… and eventually, he had to conclude that Seb’s deal was just wanting to be his friend, and not because he got anything extra out of it or because of the version of himself that Pete played at school, but because he liked Pete exactly as he was.

By that time, Pete had learned about enough of Seb’s quirks to say that he was, “different and not boring” for other reasons, but… yeah, no. The big reason why Seb was initially, “different and not boring” was that he genuinely wanted to be Pete’s friend

Romantically, though, Pete tends to insist that his preference is, “Chris Evans or at least Chris Evans-adjacent.” It’s true that he has a big Thing for Chris Evans, but it’s nowhere near as all-consuming as he likes to make it out to be (but most people probably don’t get to know that because…… mmm, nah. Pete doesn’t want to talk about it with you, probably).

Historically speaking, he has tended to date other guys in theatre, but that’s more due to proximity than actual preference. He likes people who can keep him on his toes, in general but especially intellectually.

Being, “taller than him but not by as much as Sebastian” is also a good thing, because while he likes guys who are taller (and… I mean. He’s 5’10”, so it’s not like he’s short or anything), being over 6’3” is a deal-breaker because he already has a best friend who’s 6’3” (and the guy he wants his best friend to please date already is 6’1”), and being around too many people who are noticeably taller than Pete kinda makes him feel short and potentially threatened.

But, seriously, if anyone has Chris Evans’s number? Pete wants it. Please.

………What?! He said, “Please.”

45: Your character would _______ for a klondike bar.

Pete would not go out of his way or really do anything in particular for a klondike bar because he doesn’t want one, because if he’s going to eat ice cream, then it’s going to be interesting and quality ice cream, and not something cheap and kinda gross that he could get at 7-11 at 2 AM.

He would, however, invite everyone else to do all manner of ridiculous shit for a klondike bar. Just wait for him to make popcorn before you start, okay?

MARGOT25: When put into X situation, your character is calm and collected and patient, while others may be anywhere from confused to panicking and screaming. Talk about X-Situation and why it means what it does to your character.

This could be said about Margot in most situations, really. She’s an example of someone who could definitely be called an introverted extrovert, because she has superficial ease at dealing with people

Despite how she, like Pete, doesn’t really like most people, she’d actually rather be around people than not because she hates feeling unproductive and mentally sluggish, and one of the ways that she gets the most mental stimulation is being around people and listening to them, if not always talking to them

Also, when she’s not around people, it’s easy for her to slip into, “this is why you don’t leave some people alone with their thoughts” territory (which, for Margot, generally involves forcing herself to come up with ideas, which most often means schemes that are probably really bad ideas, but she doesn’t fact-check very well, and when she goes over them for holes, she’ll put safety measures and backups in place for the wrong things — which would be fine, if these things stayed limited to the realm of her elaborate fantasy life as a masterclass art thief, but they usually don’t. Whoops.)

(Pete, on the other hand, would rather be around people than not because he thrives off of social stimulation and affection [though good luck getting him to admit that], and when he slides into, “this is why you don’t leave some people alone with their thoughts” territory, it tends to involve the, “maybe my Dad was right and I’m just unlovable” thing)

—but either way, despite having ostensible ease in dealing with people (and being Extroverted in the MBTI sense, being an ENTP), she’s nevertheless introverted in the sense of playing her actual feelings close to her chest, not opening up to most people (even her boys — Seb, Pete, and Todd — have trouble getting her to be more open about her feelings or what’s going on for her without needing to either needle her a bit, or wait for Margot to open up or get too emotionally overwhelmed to keep it down on her own)

The flip-side of this is that it’s easy for her to go into an intellectual mode while everyone else is losing their heads, even when they are, for example, stuck in the middle of a super-villain’s attack on her office (which, seeing as she’s an accountant and her firm has some pretty big deal contracts with companies like Lockheed and Boeing, plus a handful of contracts with local government in Baltimore as well as the U.S. Federal government, happens…

…eh, it’s not something that happens every month? But there’s an Incident of some kind at her office more regularly than there would be if she worked at Coca-Cola, Nestlé, or D.H. Morgan, but less regularly than there would be if she worked at somewhere that’s way more immediately accessible or target-able, like a bank or a Walmart or a Starbucks or the production company that makes the All-Stars’ big shiny reality show)

Frankly, she should lose her head more often, because it’s pretty damn unhealthy to force herself to repress everything and stay cool while, for example, keeping her head down and just trying to ignore it while Those Two Super-Tools are fumbling all over the pre-written speeches they were given to throw at the people they’re trying to get certain invoices and books from, and it would be laughable if they didn’t have, y’know, guns and possibly henchmen who are infinitely more competent than they are

(which is usually what happens when Those Two Super-Tools go on any given job, because seriously, Edward and Dezi are just BAD. at EVERYTHING. if they weren’t super-fascists with deeply off-putting personalities and over-inflated senses of white straight male entitlement, you could almost feel bad for them because they want so much to be good at something but they suck at everything, like they are just terrible)

—or, like. If your no romo soulmate person has been kidnapped by ecoterrorists because he didn’t believe his ex when said ex flat-out admitted to being an ecoterrorist (because, “seriously, what kind of ecoterrorist admits to being an ecoterrorist on the first date?”), then it would be understandable to, like…… take a break and not work on your own attempts at finding and saving him, working behind the backs of the people who are trying to do so in an official capacity, and doing it with tools of your own devising or purchasing that aren’t necessarily reliable

Buuuuuut y’know what Margot did when that happened?

Yeah, she stayed awake for several days, doing that thing that I just said with the unsanctioned attempts at finding Seb on her own, and only crashed out after Seb had been retrieved, when she and Todd got on a train up to Penn Station (where they needed to switch to a train to Ossining)

LUCY26: Conversely, when put into Z-Situation, your character faints/screams/freezes with terror/is otherwise unable to respond properly in the situation and should probably not be allowed to lead here. Talk about Z-Situation and what it means to your character.

On one hand, it’s not that Lucy shouldn’t be allowed to go clubbing, and she’ll handle it just fine once you give her a couple minutes to adjust to it

But her initial reaction to a club environment — and to most places that are loud and full of people, whether they’re clubs or Times Square or Disney World or a music festival or whatever — is to kind of freeze up and go, “ehhhhhhh” for reasons involving there being a lot of sensory information that’s suddenly swooping in to be all, “HELLO THERE LUCY YOU SO WANT TO BE OVERWHELMED RIGHT NOW, YEAH? :DDDDD”

—which also sucks for her because she really LOVES new sensory experiences. They excite her, she wants to DO ALL THE THINGS and stick her hands into everything and LEARN STUFF OMG THIS IS ALL SO COOL OKAY, and she thrives on new experiences like this…… but when they actually start happening, she needs a bit of time to adjust before she can actually enjoy any of it because all of that sensory input will be overwhelming at first, and she hasn’t really learned how to slowly slip into things or strategies for managing all of the sensory overload, yet

—and on the other hand, public speaking. She shouldn’t be wholly barred from this either, because, again? Give her a moment to just get herself acclimated, and she’ll be fine. But public speaking is still nerve-inducing and scary, especially since she’s usually doing this for reasons she thinks of as Super Important, so she doesn’t want to screw anything up, and that perfectionism makes it worse, so she gets nervous and awkward and starts trying to force things, and she can easily end up putting her foot in her mouth if she tries to improvise without thinking

But really, if you just give her a couple moments or help her to get ready, she should be fine

SARA GRACE13: Your character does ____ or avoids ____ because they associate it with having a good/bad day.

Sara Grace is one of those people who dresses better, does more elaborate makeup (which sometimes stays in “natural look” territory; sometimes goes in “there’s contouring but it’s otherwise not too far off from the ‘natural look’ makeup that she does”; and sometimes straight up goes into, “i want to look otherworldly and possibly from the moon” territory), and puts more effort into her appearance in general as she gets more and more stressed, because she has to have control over something, jeez

—which, on one hand, means that she associates these kinds of behaviors with having a bad day or a bad time of things in general, and if she shows up to something in higher heels than she’d usually wear, a cute dress with a frilly short petticoat, and makeup that she describes as, “pastel vampire princess” or, “queen of the Unseelie Court” or similar, then it’s a really good bet that she isn’t feeling well, and she might not want to talk about it, but you should probably be gentler with her than usual

for the sake of helping with visualization: I’ve been picturing Asha Bromfield as Sara Grace

ADELAIDE50: Some people take all the paperclips out of the box and chain them together. Name something useless your character does but never bothered to stop.

Alphabetizing M&M’s and Skittles by color before eating them

Which is even more useless because she’ll then portion them off into groups of five to actually eat them, and they get mixed up all over again

Saving all the orange Starbursts for last

Silently naming the animals she sees — e.g., ducks at the park — and then concocting moderately elaborate little soap operas for all of them in her head, unless someone interrupts her and keeps her attention focused elsewhere