#it wasn't purposeful I just only know two straight people and they're my parents

[bitchfromthecrypt]

I'm not starting a whole new blog for this lol,

I present to you all, the first four chapters of the second draft to my (hopefully) coming soon novel, "As We Know It"

Very loose bad bad awful summary: Powerhouse lawyer Angela nearly dies after a nuclear war, finds town full of previously assumed mythical creatures and makes a little home, meets hot vampire queen Khalida and hot Weredragon Nobel Patience D'Herensuge, and they fall in love a while after they find out they're soulmates. This leads to socialist anarchy.

☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾

Trigger warnings: Death, brief mention of suicidal ideation, war, nuclear war. description of Gore

Hope y'all enjoy!

Chapter One

If you asked Angela, she’d tell you, all doors really should be automatic.

It’d make life so much more convenient. You come inside from carrying a load of groceries and you don’t have to worry about futzing around with your keys, standing around for five minutes trying to figure out how to open a door that feels like it hates you.

This door definitely hated her, she mused.

Why wouldn’t it? She hadn’t used it in years, and now, finally, stupidly, she wanted to just open it up and waltz on out of the place she’d been safe and stuck inside of into a world that was probably filled with toxic waste, rats with human ears, and human flies? Did she want to avoid using it ever again that bad?

Maybe.

She reached a hand out to try to unlock, still jolting back like the lock itself had been exposed to radiation for the past three years.

She leaned back against the cold, rusty, steel walls, too tired to care about tetanus, thinking about the past for the millionth time that day.

God, Angela Weathers, top contract attorney at her firm, lover of parties, name brands and biannual vacations to wherever the dart landed on the map, never used to think about the past.

Angela, the last surviving human on earth, just sits in the dark talking to herself about it. On a good day.

“I should have just gone to the main office.” She said, outloud, for the billionth time.

“Daryl put some important documents down here in the bunker, but not often enough to even warrant a check, he had mentioned every other day upgrading the system, switching to using computers and the web.”

That was the other thing she did for fun, standing next to the door and pretending for a minute there was someone else on the other side of it.

‘Why did you?’ She imagined them asking, ‘When you heard the sirens, you could’ve walked out, the door was closing slowly enough.’

Groaning dramatically and banging the back of her head against the wall, wincing a bit, her fresh retie as pretty as it made her feel raising hell on her tenderheaded self.

“I don’t know. Probably the same reason no one else came down. Maybe they panicked, maybe they froze. Maybe their brain just made the smart decision for them.”

She turned firmly to face the door, reaching for the door again, more so to fidget with it than anything.

“You’d think, all of us, a group of thirty-somethings would be able to either follow the nuclear war briefs we’d been getting since we were ten or to make up our minds about whether or not surviving it would have made any goddamn sense.”

‘Well, of course,’ they’d say, ‘this place has everything you could need! Shampoo, jugs of water that tasted off even though they were filled with just water, just enough spironolactone to last you up until sometime between today and next year.’

“Canned peaches, canned chicken, canned ham, shoes that are too big for me, and super ugly,” she whined, kicking the ankle high industrial combat boots she hadn’t even tried to put on yet.

It's not like there was anywhere else she could go.

It didn't matter how much food, or water, she had left or how well the shelter’d been built.

Living there, alone and scared was much worse than anything that could happen to her out there, right?

Right.

She knew that.

So why couldn't she open the door?

She stood up, smacked her cheeks and tried not to think about how many times her coworkers and girlfriends had fixed her makeup for her after she’d done it.

She used the code, conveniently hidden under the eighty-seventh can of beans, she pushed all the right buttons and heard a little ringtone that probably used to sound melodic, at least a little happy, maybe a little annoying after a while.

All that came out was a quiet, rhythmic groan.

She could've opened the door then. She should have, honestly.

Why didn't she?

Is it the fact that she's probably killing herself just by thinking of abandoning the only thing that's been safe, no, certain after all these years?

Her books, as boring as they were, she couldn't take them with her, if she didn't pass out from toxic sludge inhalation she'd need to be able to move, and carrying around fifty seven American classics in the hopes of finding a nice spot in the shade to reread them wouldn’t be the wisest decision.

“No,” she said “I don't think it's any of that.

Or maybe it is. Maybe it's all of it.”

The hatch was open before she could think.

Mindless, like a robot programmed to keep taking one slow step after another until its batteries died, she walked down the short, but seemingly unending hallway, brown leather boots meant for someone five shoe sizes bigger than hers and all.

God, she wouldn’t have been caught dead in these before. God, the reads she would have gotten from Tamara alone. She would have demanded she go change.

‘If you’re gonna die, you have to do it wearing something cute, you can’t just be in an ugly ghost outfit for all eternity, what am I supposed to say when we meet in the afterlife and all my friends see you have those things on?’

Angela laughed a little bit thinking of her, thankfully. Crying gets boring after a year, and she wouldn’t have wanted her to be some sad sack forever.

She wouldn’t have wanted her to be leaving the bunker either, but she can’t make everyone happy.

She’d never really been that concerned with that particular hobby, to be fair.

She knew she was brilliant. Her mom had about twenty of the trans pride flag and harvard summa cum laude graduate bumper stickers on her car, she’d gotten her first and last job at counsel authority on the other side of the country at twenty-five, and she’d crafted about two thousand contracts per year for the greater half of her adult life.

She also got stuck in a baby swing at a playground at age twenty seven, while completely sober.

Now that was definitely it, that was the problem. That was the reason why she couldn’t bring herself to do any more than stand in front of the final barrier keeping her in and all of the fifty foot women and godzillas out. She was just thinking. Something Angela either did too much, or too little of at any given point in time.

The days she was really lucky, the days things always worked out for the best, were the days when she got to choose which one, as rare as they were.

“Today’s as rare as any other. Not much distinction between them anyway.”

Angela made the decision fairly quickly, to do a bit of both.

If she was gonna live, not just survive, but live, and thrive, she’d obviously need to think sometimes.

But if she was going to die, which she was fairly certain she was, she didn't want to realize it until it had already been good and done with.

Her eyes closed, and both hands on the comically normal looking doorknob, she tried and failed to empty her mind.

She wanted to rip every horrible thought straight out of it and toss it into the brand new paper shredder she had for a solid two days back in her office.

She imagined shredding pictures of Godzilla, of barren, gray, wasteland, of horrible chill that comes with stepping out into a nuclear winter that everyone around her had been talking about for years, of the loudest sound she'd ever heard in her life, just before she'd narrowly missed watching her family, her species, and the only world she'd ever known, one she now considered her favorite, die.

But you can’t really shred most of those things, can you?

She opened the door.

Chapter Two

There was not a single person in this small group of royals—which they’d resolved to refer to themselves as before they’d even agreed upon a space for them to meet—who was below a thousand years of age, including Patience, however they at least knew how to operate a simple pocket watch, and they’d woken up practically weeks ago for the first time in hundreds of years.

“Well what if we just let them loose?” Terry, queen of the spring court, a tall and spritely being who hadn’t done so much as read the pamphlet Patience had handwritten for each of them, began her neverending tirade of insisting on complete anarchy, not that she’d know that word. Too hard to spell.

“Terry, we have been over this. We need to enact some sort of system in order to avoid further harm. The lack of unity between nations is what led to this in the first place.” The leader of the Siromo tribe of mermaids, Amaka said, the only person Patience could hear over the crowd of voices, all insisting that the best moment to share their rebuttal was the exact same time as everyone else.

They got out of their chair, one of thirteen golden thrones that rested around their egregiously large golden roundtable, topped with designs carved out of opal and lapis lazuli, and went to drink some water from the lake outside, their notice of leave hanging ignored in the air.

Patience stared at themself in the lake, for many more minutes than it would take to shift and take a sip of water.

Who was he?

Gods, he’d barely remembered his family, he thought his father was kind, the last memory they’d had of him was the day he’d met his mother.

They were hunting, they were about to pull the trigger, killing some kind of bird or deer, probably, who knows, and something rumbled through the air.

If they were to describe it, they couldn't say it was a sound, or a feeling, as woefully simple as the thought was in their mind, it was just big.

The calling heaved through the air with such a strength they feared it would become corporeal and grab them.

They can't say they remember much of the evening after that. They couldn’t forget her, no matter how long they’d tried to.

With her wild red hair, her braids that reached far beyond the floor in her tall and daunting human form being the main reason she preferred to stay a dragon.

She had held him very often when he’d cried. They couldn’t remember why, they just know her cool scales as she nuzzled him the way a cat does a kitten had made many of their nights as a young child feel safe, despite sleeping in the dark woods. ALthough wolves were not as frightening as dragons, there was not much reason to be fearful.

It was unwise of her to grow old. The one thing she did that made Patience angry with her after all of the years they’d spent together, her only unforgivable act.

She said she hadn’t wanted to watch him die, they’d been sick for months, only coming out on days when it was warm enough that they didn’t feel they’d break in two if they took a single step. She said that no mother should have to watch her child as such. That she would instead gift him with what she had been gifted eons ago, that only one dragon could exist in a space at any given time.

And she died. She chose to.

Patience had mourned. He slept his days away and the amount of time he spent awake and aware of the world shrunk as each year passed, and by the time they felt anything once again, they had realized that being aware hadn’t improved their days by any measure.

The only reason they were awake now is there were no other options.

These people were not suited for the title they’d deigned themself with, and he wasn’t either. But if he did nothing, then they’d have no reason to be, and that would mean she’d have gone for no reason at all.

Their musings were interrupted by the sound of the door flying open and the feral gaze of the vampire queen settling on him for one long moment before she went barreling into the forest.

They shook a little bit, all seventy thousand pounds of him chilled a bit more than you’d think their cool blood would allow for.

They did not like that woman.

She definitely had a strong heart, for lack of a better word, but anything that required complete focus, sitting still, and following the rules of bureaucracy seemed like methods she would and has used to torture her enemies.

Well, more torture in addition to it, but still.

Patience was a royal now. It was his job. He’d agreed to his position when the time came, and she had as well.

He would never understand why.

The vampiress had never spoken more than a few words to Patience and yet, they found themself consumed by either irritation or at her every action, or lack thereof.

She’d behaved like every other “Royal” had, with no real regard for the reason they were there.

The humans were dead.

As was their trade, and their cameras, and their policies, and more of their animals than any creature left behind would like.

The world, at least as every last semi-immortal being knew it, had changed beyond comprehension, and the entire remaining population had entrusted this too small room full of those of all different species, religions, cultures, and walks of life in general to come up with something resembling a solid plan.

The few months immediately after they'd gone were horrendous.

The fairfolk nearly went extinct from the lack of breathable air, of foliage, and of general smog.

Every last being on earth had to work together to bring this planet back, and despite the fights, trickery, and grief, they'd managed it.

And they'd be damned if they let themselves get to the point of destroying it all over again.

This meeting was more than a casual party, it was the beginning of every decision ever to be made for the rest of the world.

And so, on the seventieth of the initial meetings, in which all the leaders were supposed to be present, when Patience would find they would be missing one crucial vampire queen. And the anxieties would rise, Patience’s blood would slowly but surely begin to curdle at the ever rising idea that someone must go to retrieve her before the week should end, before they all go back to their kingdoms having wasted days, which while not exactly a huge amount of their lives, were still full of painful small talk and brash comments, only to maintain the same stalemate they've been in since their worlds got turned upside down.

They weren’t aware of it, hearing her quiet but not inaudible footsteps ring through the forests, but they would be the one to see to it that she would return shortly.

Chapter Three

The thing you'll have to remember about Khalida, is that she's not selfish, not in the true sense of the word.

To be selfish, you’d have to be aware of the fact that you are a person. That you exist. That the people around you have lives and feelings and that this fact should matter to you.

Most days, Khalida was not a person. She was a force. A force that used to need to eat.

She still could. She thinks about it sometimes. As much as she could think.

Khalida was no longer one to think.

She had been, for a bit of time. When she was a child she thought constantly, even more so as an adult..

Then the first century passed, and she hadn't aged a day, and all that time and money and all those vastly different lives, well, they added up.

And after the nine hundredth body, after the millionth piece of gold, it's kind of hard to recognize that those around you, or even you, yourself, matter.

So when khalida was in the meeting, imagining how the leader of the good neighbor’s summer court would taste and what noise she’d make when she felt her teeth in her carotid—not the most ideal place, but beggars couldn’t be choosers some days, and it’d be a great deal of work to find a better spot, and she smelled it, she was confused.

The scent, somewhere off in the woods, it was sweat, dirt, and most importantly, human.

And the faintest hint of Guerlain Shalimar.

Did she think before she ran after it?

Yes. More than she should’ve.

Chapter Four

When she saw those kids—kids? She still wasn't sure, they were way too small to be kids—standing at the very top of a tree and giggling to themselves about a joke she immediately knew she'd never get, Angela thought for a second that maybe things would be ok.

This changed after she realized their size.

And their pointy ears.

And their limbs that bent at such odd angles, and the thousands of colors on them that no human should be able to see, let alone have in their clothes.

And that one of them jumped straight down the length of the tree only to catch themself a millisecond before hitting the ground and using their deceptively strong dragonfly-like wings to soar right back up to the top.

She considered going back into the bunker, just for a second, but a phrase popped into her head that rang so familiar to her, “Ah, poor Miss Taylor, she would be very glad to stay!” from Jane Austen's Emma. and the urge to turn back dissipated. Because as lovely as the story was, and as strange as those not children were, she should not remember that line.

Either she was hallucinating and her brain was really capitalizing off of that human fly thing or she was psychic. Both would mean something new, and at this point, she’d take it.

She stared up at them, enthralled, unable to move. Realizing with each passing moment that she was allowed to stare how their skin glowed, how their eyes were too wide, how some of them even had flat, horizontal pupils, like goats or something.

In hindsight, she probably should have noticed they were staring back at her much earlier than she did.

But when the whispers and giggles stopped, and eyes that were crinkled with smile lines turned cold and hard upon seeing her, it didn’t take long for her to become as hopeless as someone in her situation. ought to be.

The first one to jump down was neon pink, Angela couldn’t have recalled many other details about her, because it hurt to look at her for too long. She landed directly in front of Angela before she could blink and asking a million questions before she could open her mouth to say “hi! I'm Angela, I apologize for staring at you like some massive freakazoid, I only did it because you don't look normal in any sense of the word.”

“Who are you? I've never seen you before. What brings you here? Are you human? You are, aren't you, oh I used to love humans, sorry about what happened, anyways, how are you holding up? How did you hold up? Where are the rest of you? What do you have in your bag? Why are you wearing those horrific shoes?”

Angela nearly felt embarrassed for staring into the minuscule creature's bright yellow eyes for a full minute as she kept going, not processing a word she said, she got the feeling this was just how fast people—were they people?—talked now.

“I'm sorry, can you repeat...all of that?”

Maybe if she just closed her eyes for a second, if she shook her head and clicked her heels three times, she'd open them and all the creatures would be people, recognizably human people who are seconds away from directing her to a fallout shelter away from whatever poisonous fumes were floating in the air and making her hallucinate.

She tried.

They didn’t.

They only giggled at her.

Instead of responding, her brain decided to not only short circuit, but make her silently weep, in front of a new bunch of strangers, the first five minutes of her reintroduction to the world and she’s already crying in front of complete strangers.

“Aww, pretty one, why are you crying?”

They all swarmed her, the little people, some trying to wipe her tears away, flying back and shaking like a dog upon realizing their leaf skirts were drenched.

“Can you cry less messy?”

Mumbling more to herself than to the small beings she guessed were fairies, she dabbed at her tears to avoid making her imaginary mascara run, “I’m alright, I'm fine, I'm sorry, I'm fine.”

The faeries gave each other a look, one seemed to be asking something of the others, if the body language of this version of the world was the same, Angela guessed tiny neon pink lady vehemently disapproved.

Her lip reading was shot, not that it had ever been great, but despite not being able to make out what they were saying, she knew that look very well. ‘That’s the look you get from friends and family members before you do something very funny, and very stupid,’ she thought.

She used to find it funny.

“Well, if you're really sorry, you can come with us.”

One of them, a small orange one, covered in little green droplets, it looked like a leaf on the first day of fall that actually feels like the season’s changed. He flew directly in front of her face, making her go cross eyed to focus on him. It rested its hand directly onto her nose.

“What?” Angela asked, sounding and feeling so much weaker than she’d like to seem at this moment.

“Yeah! You could come with us! It's so much better where we're from, the food, the music! Oh the clothes, imagine how good you'd look decked in this frock!”

A different one, less human looking with the many different shaped spots covering its dark brown body. They gestured to their…dress? Skin? Whatever it was, it wanted Angela to picture herself in it.

Unsettled as she was, she did.

It felt like a movie. She saw herself, sitting at a table, full of every possible food you could think of, from a good plate of ribs and some pecan pie to cream filled donuts, and more food that she could not attempt to identify than food she could, but they made her mouth water all the same.

Shifting quickly, like a dream that had completely shifted in plot, suddenly she was waltzing on a pink glass dance floor, while she somehow still felt soft grass under her, wrapped in the arms of a different person with every beat change, never without a glass of some wine she also couldn't quite identify in her hand.

She pictured sleeping in a bed full of these other beings, the same size as them now, inside of a hollow in a tree, the dull glow of the moon bathing over them as she curled into a ball and closed her eyes, drifting away.

The first minute since she left in which she felt safe, as fractured and dangerous as it was, disappeared before her eyes as the image faded and in its wake was the sight of all of the little things peeling off into the air far away from her.

The rejection didn’t have long to set in.

There are many things Angela could say would be her biggest nightmare.

Things like, being alone in a bunker for a year with the knowledge that everyone she'd ever met, everyone she'd ever loved, everyone who she might have become great friends, lovers, family with; was dead.

Things like beginning to forget the faces she's known her entire life.

Things like waking up in the middle of the night convinced that life no longer held any meaning.

The weird forest full of things she couldn't understand didn't scare her that much, in comparison.

This thing did.

She didn't know how to talk to those…bugs? Small people? Flower people? But there was no realm where she could possibly comprehend whatever It was.

By the time she’d started running, which was shortly after she’d turned around to see it, she’d realized two things.

One, that it was nothing. Like, truly nothing. An empty space where something should be, the dead winter that makes a noise that should ring in your ears suffocate under snow.

Two, it wanted to kill her.

This was new.

Those things, the people that abandoned her to face this thing that she couldn’t look in the eye, because it had no face, even though her entire body shuddered every few seconds because the hairs on the back of her neck raised like it was a person staring at her.

The sudden onslaught of darkness didn’t register to angela as she ran, narrowly avoiding tripping over her feet, her breath made no sound, the clunking of her too big shoes thudded against the tall grass, but anyone in the forest would not know that from the still, tranquil quiet that followed the predator and prey.

The transition from when Angela remembered what it was like to be a human being and the moment her mind decided for her that she was nothing but a thing that needed to run or die was brief and the closer it got. The more she felt the biting, isolated cold of a vacuum in space against her back as it reached out to tear her apart atom from atom, the more her brain slipped away and the further she sprinted.

It was pitch dark, the sun had set, there was no room left for her or the trees’ or the thing that was rushing her’s shadows’ to morph on the ground, but the whole place was glowing, the wind had its own heartbeat, a part of her would day recognize.

It swirled around her, almost mockingly. Maybe one day it would remind her of the nights her older sisters would stay up with her, telling her scary stories about the dumbest things, and the terror which evolved into exasperation the older she got, instead of being a sensation to hold on to in the gap between her reality and her ever encroaching complete absence.

She ran, hearing the screech of some animal and darting after it, following any noise or thing of substance.

She ran around a bend in the trees and locked eyes with a huge bear with three huge rabbits in her jaws, and a dozen more resting in a bloody pile in the hollow of a tree, drool cascading down her mouth following sharp white teeth that Angela would guess hoped could cut the thing chasing her, even if it meant it would kill her next.

‘Much bigger than in the movies,’ she managed to think for a second as she barreled towards it.

If she was able to see or reason fully in that moment, who knows if she would have seen the bear’s eyes widen a bit in terror before it grabbed her by her shoulder and tossed her on it’s back in a smooth and quick maneuver that probably gave Angela whiplash, but she could not have felt it then, all she felt was dense and coarse fur that she buried herself into in an attempt to not fall off and be left to whatever was hopefully now leagues behind her.

Minutes or hours later, when she stopped relying solely on blind instinct and the fear and panic started to firmly set in, she realized they’d slowed down at about the exact same time she’d started to sob into the furry back of what she was slowly beginning to remember belonged to a bear.

But it walked, silently grunting and growling a bit as angela tried her hardest to calm down for long enough to get off of said bear and make some kind of escape plan and not enough to start thinking about how close she is to dying and how much she missed her parents.

‘At least they won’t have to hear about me dying via horrific bear attack.’ She thought.

It took Angela a good five minutes to notice that not only was the bear not protesting by any means, but that it was carrying a weird weaved bag that closed completely at the top.

It took one minute for her to decide to talk to it.

“Hello?”

She, of course, got no response in return. So she, of course, tried again.

“Listen, I don't know if you're…I don't really know what…do you know, do you know if there's a town nearby?”

Angela abruptly fell to the floor even though the bear slowly tilted its body to the side in an attempt to gently knock her off.

She attempted to process the feel of the ground underneath her while the thud of the bear’s paws rumbled through the air while she dropped the weaved bag on the ground next to a tree and the rabbit’s that it had apparently been carrying the whole time and trotted behind it.

The human fly thing was weird, but Angela was not prepared to hear the twitching and squelching sounds that came from behind that tree, and she definitely wasn’t prepared to see a chubby, brown arm reach out to pick up the bag.

A short black woman, who didn't look much older than twenty, with a chestnut brown Afro that framed her heart shaped face trotted around the corner with the same jolly gait the bear had, picking the rabbits up and shoving them in a separate basket that she'd seemingly pulled out from nowhere.

She was fat and beautiful and she did not look as though she could lift a one hundred and eighty pound five foot seven woman up off the ground and give her a piggyback ride.

“What, how, and who the hell is she?” She should work on that habit of saying things out loud.

“The town isn't far from here at all, I think you can take a guess, I don’t know, a witch could probably tell you, I guess? And I’m Maggie. Good to meet you! The circumstances could definitely be better, but it’s nice to see a new face.”

Angela stared at her, unblinking for an uncomfortably long time.

She’d been attacked, and she still shuddered at the thought of that thing, and saved by a bear who was actually a person. What could she even say?

“Your dress is so cute. Is that Versace?” She cringed the second she asked, but it’s the closest thing to a reaction she could manage.

“No, I don't really know who that is, but I made it myself.”

Angela nodded, wondering for a second if she run.

“Wicked. My mom always tried to teach me to sew, but I just never really got into it.”

The bear—Maggie nodded, “yeah, it’s hard starting out. Let me tell you, I didn't have the slightest interest in it until they invented the machines. I'm so glad we were able to reconstruct them, half my wardrobe wouldn't exist if we hadn't.”

She reached down and offered Angela a hand, holding back a laugh as she yelped a bit when she took her hand and hauled her up.

Angela brushed off her clothes without breaking eye contact with Maggie, hoping bears were one of the animals you were supposed to make eye contact with, “I feel you, if you want something done right you gotta do it yourself, you know?”

The bear woman smiled and nodded, “Ugh, don’t I know it? Oh, goodness, it’s like pitch black out here for you! Are you still headed to town?”

Angela nodded rapidly, “Yes! Yes, thank you, I'd really appreciate that. I'm a little, well, honestly, a lot, turned around right now.”

The woman sighed and gave her the most pitying glance and honestly, she appreciated it more than she should’ve. Being looked at at all felt like such a privilege, even if it’s by a possibly murderous bear woman.

“Yeah. I can only imagine. Can I give you a hug?”

Angela immediately shook her head. “Later. Please, but I can't right now.” If she hugged someone for the first time in years after everything that happened tonight she would cry forever. And she was starting to feel really dehydrated from all of the running and she’d only brought a small flask of water cause she hadn’t thought she’d have long to use it and she really didn’t want to cry in front of this stranger again, even if a hug sounded like it would fix all of her problems.

Maggie nodded, “Of course. Come on, honey. You look like you could use something to eat. And probably a long nap.” She said before leading her down the direction of an obviously frequently used path.

“Thanks. I'd be fine with just some directions even, I just really don't know where I'm heading.”

She tentatively picked up a rabbit with her thumb and pointer, trying to touch as little of the corpse as possible while still helping.

“It's fine, hon,” Maggie said, taking the rabbit from her and shoving it in her basket, “you've had a rough night.”

She trailed along after Maggie through the forest, making small talk for the first time in three years ever so often, letting there be a lull in the conversation long enough for her to be eternally grateful she was still good at it.

“If you don't mind me asking, how did you… get all the way out here?”

Obviously she meant “How did you not die horribly?” But Angela appreciated her at least trying not to paint the elephant in the room neon green.

“Well, I was inside a bunker."

"A what?"

"When everything happened, I was at work. I went down in the basement to look for some pens or paperwork, or something, I can’t even remember what, and then everything happened all at once and the door was closed behind me and—"

Angela squeezed her eyes shut, trying to focus on the sounds of the leaves crunching under her feet.

"Go on. If you want to, that is. If it's easier, maybe you can just tell me what a bunker is?"

She squeezed her eyes closed, shaking her head to try and erase the thought from her mind, laughing a bit at herself, "right, yes, that's what you were asking. It's just an underground building created to protect its inhabitants from nuclear warfare. I was living in one. For the past three years. Or nearly, it would have been three next week."

The woman whistled, "Damn. That's a long time without—"

"Yes, I know." Angela cut her off.

Whatever it is she was going to say, good food, a real shower, a hug from a family member, it wouldn't help to hear someone say it out loud to her.

She was quiet for a moment before stopping, making Angela halt too, now aware of the fact that she had been following a complete stranger through the middle of nowhere.

"What's your name, by the way?” Maggie asked.

She wore her most professional smile, the one she used for interviews where condolences weren't required, the one she used to greet potential clients, the one she used at a bar when she wanted a free drink, the same smile she hasn’t had to use in three years.

"Angela Weathers, a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” She refrained from reaching into her pockets for the business cards that she had brought with her despite it all.

The woman smiled, "It’s a pleasure to meet you as well. It seems like you've had a rough go about things so far, Angela. I’m sorry to say you don’t have many options, but I can offer you some."

Angela nodded, immediate relief flooding her at the idea of being able to use actual logic to make an actual decision again.

"Alright, shoot."

"What?"

"I mean, tell me the options."

Maggie nodded, "alright, so, right now we're walking to the village, obviously, we're calling it Noman, but we're all still workshopping titles."

"But it's been three years." she said, looking at her confused.

Maggie rolled her eyes, "I know. Write the elders and ask them about it, supposedly they'll answer, but not sooner than twenty hours after it’s sent.

Or days, or weeks, or months. Or,” she looked at Angela briefly, “years.”

“Wait, the elders?”

Maggie rolled her eyes, “Yes, that’s what we’ve been calling them. They haven’t exactly been doing much to stop, well, what was chasing us just now.”

“Don’t bring whatever that thing is up again. Please.”

Maggie nodded. “There’s not many of them, if that helps.”

She smiled slightly, “it doesn’t much. But maybe soon it will.”

Maggie smiled back at the young woman, “I hope it does.”

Angela nodded, coughing and looking straight ahead, “Anyway, the options?”

“Yes! Right! OK, right now, we're walking towards the village. I run an inn, and nobody can come here and everyone has there own homes, so I do have a spare room. If you wish to stay there for a couple of nights, you're more than welcome."

“You would do that?” Angela stared at Maggie and got a look in response that could only mean that statement had broken her heart. Maggie’s face brought her back to every moment she’d taken one cookie from her grandma instead of three.

Maggie just nodded.

“I'll admit, I don't know what to say, or how to repay you at all.”

Maggie shrugged, “you don't have to say anything. And you definitely do not have to repay me.”

Maybe Angela stiffened when she heard her say it and didn't realize, maybe her smile faulted a bit, or maybe Maggie just smelled the fear of saying and doing nothing for longer than a few seconds on her breath.

“Well,” she drawled, “if you're really looking for something to do, you could help me make the stew for tonight. Can you cook?"

Angela remembered the first time she'd invited her parents and sister over for dinner at her first apartment, and how much money she'd lost on her security deposit after the burnt and overcooked pasta noodles started a fire and left a permanent stain on her ceiling.

She tried and failed to imagine the horror of someone having her handle the knives and body parts of some poor, innocent rabbits.

"In a manner of speaking."

Maggie squinted at her, "if that's not your prime skillset, you can always wait tables or help me and the kids clean rooms."

Angela nodded, trying to hide her shock at the idea that such a young woman/bear had kids.

‘Hey, who am I to judge, it's the eighties,’ she thought, thankfully not saying it out loud.

“Alright, what's option two?"

"The town isn't big, word gets around, you could ask around and see if you can apply for any positions, tomorrow though, maybe even next week, alright? I won't hear any word about you going off in the middle of the night to find work. If you're really stubborn, I'll show you the safer areas to rest in the woods until you're able to afford a house.”

Angela nodded, already knowing sleeping alone in the woods wasn’t an option anymore.

"So, option three?"

"I could give you some new food, maybe some fresh clothes if you have something to trade, and take you back to your bunker."

"Option four?"

"That's it, I'm afraid. Or it's all I can think of, at least."

Angela did not want to go back into that bunker.

She knew it probably would be her best bet, to stay there for a while, get some food, maybe dip into a little of option two and start looking for a job while she stays at home base.

But she really didn't want to.

She wanted to wake up stressed about work again.

She missed the sounds of people running around, and arguing, she needed the city.

Always had.

“Alright, let's try option one.”

[princesspastel8]

Chapter 53

Third POV

It's been about three days since Eboni was welcomed into Luna and Iris's home. Tiffany didn't agree with the long stay and tried to get an explanation out of the girl- which Eboni refused. Even then, her foster parents didn't stop her from leaving. Things have been oddly quiet with Alex, though she knows he's lurking around.

Not only him, but others as well. Eboni no longer believes its paranoia. Someone, maybe two or three people, are watching her every move. From the moment she leaves the house to the moment she comes back. Maybe it's the detectives, but if that were the case- then they have too much free time on their hands considering the high crime rate in this town. They would be busy still trying to build a case against the girl.

And if it were them, they would've raided Luna's home by now- Thanks to how often the killers show up. Right now, for example, they're all in the livingroom- playing some weird boardgame that Eboni is unfamiliar with.

"You piece of shit! It was my turn!" Jeff shouts.

"N-No, it wasn't. You're just pissed th-that you're losing." Toby frowns.

Luna giggles, nodding her head. "I agree."

Jeff glares at the witch, rubbing his thumb against the blade in his pocket. "Watch it, witch."

"Y-You watch it. Th-This is why I follow you every time Y-you come here."

"Like I said before, I got my own girl to bust a nut to- so fuck off!"

The comment makes EJ and BEN laugh while Iris blushes heavily and cringes from Jeff's shameless behavior. Hoodie narrows his eyes at Jeff, who shrugs his shoulders.

"Not my fault yours a softy."

Eboni chuckles, shaking her head as she begins zoning out. Her stomach then growls, making Jeff look at her. He flips the boardgame over, standing, and looms over Eboni.

"Jeff what the fuck!?" BEN shouts.

"Sore loser!" EJ sighs heavily.

Jeff flips them off, no longer caring. "You hungry?"

Eboni nods her head, looking up from her phone to Jeff. "Might cook something."

"Like what?"

"Tacos."

During her stay, Eboni has brought a few new things for herself. Those items are a new phone and a Nintendo switch. Eboni stands, moving past Jeff to walk into the kitchen. Jeff follows behind, watching the girl search for the needed ingredients. Eboni sighs heavily, seeing there wasn't much for her to work with.

"I gotta go to the store." Eboni huffs.

"No, you don't. Make the witch go."

"She seems busy." Eboni points out, motioning to Luna cuddled up to Toby - both of them watching some video on Luna's phone.

Jeff scoffs, rolling his eyes. "Fine. Then I'll tag alo-"

"No. You can't be seen in the open."

"Nothing a little mask and different clothing can't fix princess." Jeff shrugs.

"Ugh, that's not the point. I can go on my own. It'll be too risky if you come with."

Jeff eye twitches, fist clenched in his pockets. "The fuck is your deal?"

"Nothing, I just don't want to put anyone else at risk."

"You're putting yourself at risk every time you step out that god damn door!" He shouts, drawing everyone's attention.

"So what if I am!? I can handle myself! Quit breathing down my throat! I just want space!" She shouts back.

"Space...space? From me? Are you serious!?"

"Yes! Ugh! Jeff, I don't mind you being here, but the purpose of me practically moving in here was to get closer to Luna and Iris. I owe them so much, and they're the only friends I trust. The only people I can trust!"

That stings.

"Ah...ah, I get it. Still haven't gotten your trust back yet, huh? Just say that, Eboni. Just...fuck this and fuck you. Enjoy your stupid little sleepover!"

"Jeff, that isn't what I-"

Before Eboni could finish, the killer is already storming up the stairs and jumping out of Iris's window, walking straight into the woods. Jeff can't believe what just happened. Space? Space from him? How dare she say that. After all, he's done for her. After all he's gave up for her- she wants space just to get close to some blue haired bitch?

He's so angry. The fact is he's losing this silent war between him and the witch. He truly is losing his hold on Eboni, his control, his freedom. No... no, this can't happen. Eboni can't be tired of him already. If anything, it's supposed to be the other way around. Jeff is supposed to get tired of Eboni and then kill her. My how the table has turn.

Back to Eboni, the girl is standing idly by in the kitchen - gripping the counter. What just happened? Why did she say that? Why would she want space from Jeff? She doesn't. Eboni is stressed. She hasn't told anyone about her theory of being watched. The feeling never fades until she inside this house. To say it's scarying her would be an understatement. The thought of possibly running into Alex and his friends makes her blood run cold. It could be them stalking her. Though, the delusional side of her still hopes for it to be the detectives.

"E-Eboni? Are you ok?" Iris asked.

Snapping her from her thoughts, Eboni looks at Iris- nodding her head. "Yeah yeah...I'm fine. I'm gonna head out to the store."

Eboni rushes to put on her shoes, storming past everyone before any of them could say anything. Luna stands, glancing at her window. She peeks outside, noticing the grey clouds filling the sky.

"Wait, Eboni. You'll need a jacket. It might-"

Eboni is already out of the door and on her bike. She quickly pedals away, hoping some food will take away this anxious feeling building in her stomach. It doesn't take long for Eboni to arrive at the supermarket. She locks her bike into place and walks inside. She grabs the basket and begins shopping for the ingredients needed for her mother's world famous tacos.

Meanwhile, at Luna's place, a knock comes from the front door. Iris didn't expect Eboni to be done so quickly. The timid girl goes to answer the door, surprised to see its Taylor. Despite all that's happened, Iris struggles to completely let Taylor go. She was her first friend and has always been there for her - even if it may have been for selfish reasons. Iris is just to kind hearted for her own good.

Feeling uneasy, Hoodie stands from his seat and takes his mask off. He stands behind Iris, narrowing his eyes at Taylor while placing a protective hand on Iris shoulder.

"What do you want?" He rasps, voice low and harsh.

"Just wanna talk ta' Iris. Alone." Taylor frowns.

"Absolutely n-"

"O-Okay..."

"Babygirl, this isn't a-"

Iris looks at him, her pleading doe eyes and pouty lips making the tall, muscled male cave instantly. He leans down, whispering into the girl's ear.

"Five minutes. Nothing more, nothing less. Understand?"

Iris nods, which makes Hoodie place his fingertips under her chin, tilting her head back to look up at him. "Use your words."

"Yes, sir."

"Mhm.." he hums, giving her a quick kiss before letting her go.

Iris steps outside, closing the door behind herself. She looks at Taylor nervously, her stare intimidating. The two stay in silence for the first minute before Iris breaks it.

"Wh-What is it, Taylor?"

"Sutterin' less, that's good. Teddy bear man givin' ya' confidence."

"Pl-Please hurry, Taylor. We're at three minutes."

"Righ'. I need ya' phone shoot my ma a text."

"....why? D-Don't you have one?"

"One of the members broke it. Gonna let meh use it or no?"

Iris nods, giving the girl her phone. Four minutes have passed by this time. Taylor is quickly typing away at the phone, knowing her mother's number by hard. Once done, the front door opens - Hoodie standing on the other side. Taylor rolls her eyes, quickly deleting the conversation and giving the phone to Iris.

"See ya' 'round." Taylor waves, walking away.

Hoodie grumbles, pulling Iris back into the house. He goes to his seat, motioning for Iris to follow. Once comfortable, Hoodie takes her phone- scrolling through the messages.

"Why did she have your phone?"

"To text her mom."

"What for?"

"I'm not sure, I didn't ask. Th-Though she said one of those gang m-members broke her phone."

Hoodie sighs, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb on Iris thigh. The shy girl hardly sutters in his presence now unless she's feeling emotional.

"I'm not upset. Only concerned. I don't like her."

"I know... you never did."

Hoodie sighs again. "Correction. I don't trust her with anything or anyone."

Iris nods her head, choosing not to disagree. She knows that Brian is only looking out for her since she fails to do that on her own. Iris is well aware that she is too naive for her own good.

Eboni has finished her grocery shopping after thirty minutes. She unhooks her bike from its post and hops on. She pulls out her phone, raising a brow at a text she received from Iris.

Timid bean: Hey, Luna wanted you to stop by this store on ××××××. There's a certain flower she needs for a spell called ××××××. If you can't get it, that's ok! Thank you!🤗

That's odd. Iris never asks anyone to do anything for her. She's the most selfless person she's ever met, but Eboni brushes it off. Maybe Hoodie is teaching the young girl that there's nothing wrong with asking for help when it's needed. With that in mind, Eboni pedaling away.

Biking in the middle of the street is what Eboni normally does since the rodes are almost always empty, but today is different. She almost loses her balance from a motorcyclist driving way too close to her. The same thing happens again towards her left, both bikers being women. Eboni shakes her head, moving to ride on the sidewalk. Unfortunately, she wasn't given the chance once another rams her back bike wheel - throwing her off balance.

Eboni tumbles off her bike, rolling around on the ground due to the speed of how fast she was riding. Once her body comes to a stop, earning only a few scratches, she stands to her feet - groceries all over the street. Eboni looks ahead, noticing a group of women on motorcycles. That's when it clicks just who these people are.

"Oh...shit.."

The women ramp up their bike engines, signaling Eboni to run for her fucking life- and she does just that. She can't out run a motorcycle, but maybe she can hide from one. The girl runs straight into the woods, dodging tree branches and jumping over logs to avoid tripping. After some time running, she realizes they weren't following her, so she stops to catch her breath - big mistake.

"It's been a while."

Before Eboni can look, the girl is struck in the back of her head but not hard enough to lose consciousness - just enough to disorient her. The woman picks up Eboni and throws her over her back, walking further into the forest into an open clearing. She drops the girl on the ground, walking back to her bike.

"This is her? Really? She doesn't look like much."

"That's what I thought, but you saw the shit she did to us."

"Can we cut the chit chat and just off this bitch?"

Eboni recognizes the last two voices. She sighs, her vision clearing up as she slowly stands to her feet. She assets her surroundings. She's surrounded by a group of girls, their bikes forming a circle around her - Eboni stationed in the middle. She locks eyes with Beth and Trisha.

"It's been a while." Eboni said, tilting her head at the two - mocking Trisha from before.

"And who gave you permission to talk?" Beth grips.

"My fucking mouth did. The hell do I look like answering to you? I'm not Taylor."

"Hm...true true. I'd watch that mouth though, pretty sure you understand the situation you're in."

"Yeah, I do. You two bitches couldn't handle that I 1v2 your asses so you had to 1v10 me. Pretty pathetic if you ask m-"

Trisha steps forward, punching Eboni square in her stomach. "Here's the thing..." she grumbles, reaching to grab a fist full of Eboni's hair to keep the girl from falling over. "We weren't asking."

Trisha proceeds to punch Eboni repeatedly in the face until three girls step forward, ordering her to stop. They stand in front of Eboni, Trisha throwing the girl to their feet. One has blue hair, the other moss green, and the last one black hair with a white skunk stripe. All three have pale skin and share a heart-shaped face tattoo on their cheeks.

The blue haired one gags when Eboni's face lands on her boot. She kicks the girl's head away, rubbing the blood on her boot against the gass. "Ew ewwwwww! She looks so disgusting! Look at her skin! What is that!?"

"It's vitiligo, you dumbass. Fuck- you really are a air head." The moss haird one answered.

The black haird one leans down, grabbing Eboni by her hair. She grins, slapping her cheek. "I'm sure you're questioning why you're here h-"

Eboni, being Eboni, spits blood in the girl's face, which earns a harsh punch to her nose. Eboni groans in pain, the woman resting her boot on the top of her head- adding her weight before continuing to talk.

"You see, a few of our members have been coming up dead lately and by the dozens. Our leader doesn't like that, so she had us watch you. Turns out you are connected to the killer that took our members' lives. So, we're just gonna return the favor. Our members lives for his only surviving victim. So since this will be your final resting place, I think it's only fair that we introduce ourselves."

"Kimberly." The blue haired girl waved.

"Roxanne," the moss haird one.

"And I'm Emma, the leader of this trio I like to call 'Hearts for a Heart'. Now, with that out of the way." Emma stands, wiping the spit blood from her cheek as she stands. "Laaaaaadies! Time to jump in!"

And so they did, all ten women begin beating Eboni black, bloody, and blue. She cries out but never begged for mercy, which increases the brutality of the beating. Taylor set this up. She had to have set this up. Maybe payback to her throwing Masky under the bus? For taking her friends away? For reliving how much of a snake she truly is?

Whatever it is, she had to have used Iris in some way. How did she even get a hold of the girl's phone? Eboni could've sworn they cut ties. After everything she's done to her, why would Iris still be in contact with her? Just why?

A pained laugh slips through her lips. Iris will always be Iris, a sweet, naive girl who struggles to set proper boundaries. Someone like her can easily be taken advantage of. No wonder Taylor held onto her like she did. To think this is how this ends.

Beaten to death, how oddly fitting. Jeff said he'd always protect her, that he'd never let anyone lay another hand on her.

Turns out that was yet another lie.

[dancingships]

Sorry, but, Darklina is not like CaptainSwan

This is a response to those calling me a hypocrite for shipping CaptainSwan while being critical of the Darklina craze that is sweeping across my timeline.

If you're not willing to accept canon facts then please do not bother engaging. If you can't agree to canon then there's no way to have a discussion. I realize some people fanon Darklina into something that resembles CaptainSwan, and that's fine, but canon wise these two ships are nothing alike!

NOTE: this was written prior to S2 of Shadow and Bone but the show is following the books so book canon will be used!

"Both ships are enemies to lovers so they're practically the same!"

No, no they are not. For starters, Darklina would've been lovers to enemies except they were never even lovers. There was never a moment of honesty or love between them since he was lying & manipulating her from the start with the intention of using her. A kiss shared under these circumstances is not the same as a committed relationship, especially since she runs from him so that he can't use her for his own purposes. This is straight from Alina and Bagrah in book 1 and in season 1. So basically Darklina is a crack ship because they were never together nor were they going to end up together after the events of the first book and the Darkling's treatment of Alina only gets worse later on.

While Emma and Killian were barely enemies. Yes they were on opposite sides of good and evil at the start. But what is the worse they did to each other while being so called enemies? She betrayed him by breaking her word on the beanstalk. OK. Big deal. He left her locked in a cell after her betrayal. OK. But he never targeted Emma the way the Darkling targets Alina. And I am talking Villain Hook here. We'll get to Dark Hook in a moment. So Emma and Killian pass the enemies stage without heavy baggage between them. He has never caused her great pain like lets say Neal who abandoned her & sent her to jail for his crimes or Regina who has murdered someone she cared for, orphaned her, tried to kill her and her parents multiple times and so on. So that friendship makes less sense than a romance with Killian. Never mind that from the start Hook was following Emma's lead, supporting her decisions and believing in her.

Bottom line: Darkling used Alina and never once took her feelings into consideration. From the start Hook respected Emma as a leader and we later see a healthy romance develop between them where he is always supporting her, encouraging her and putting her first.

"The Darkling murdered people Alina cared for just as Dark One Hook tried to send Emma's family to hell!"

Correction. The Dark Ones using Hook's thirst for revenge almost sent Emma's family to hell. The keyword there ALMOST. I could always forgive Hook for being consumed by darkness because I know that wasn't what he wanted or who he truly was. And once he was rid of the darkness he never sought it again unlike Gold who couldn't let it go and Regina who still wanted it (5x23). Or even the Darkling who just wanted to amass more power and control. How Hook treated Emma & her family while consumed by darkness never would've happened even when he was just a villain. And that for me is crucial.

Darkling saw what he was doing to Alina and did not care! bookDarkling actually killed the only mother Alina really remembers and in the face of her pain he says "I'll strip everything from you until you have no shelter but me".

Killian Jones overcame darkness when he saw Emma’s pain then sacrificed his life for her. That is such a huge difference.

"Emma kills Hook as Alina kills the Darkling"

The Darkling treated Alina like his puppet to master. He hunted her down. He threatened to torture her. He invaded her mind. He died trying to bring her under his control and her pain never gave him pause.

As I said above, the Darkness was using Hook's thirst for revenge to get what it wanted. Emma's pain broke Hook from the darkness' hold and he sacrificed his life to stop the Dark Ones from fulfilling their mission. Emma killed Hook at his request to destroy the darkness forever and save her family from the Dark Ones.

So lets reiterate:

Darkling didn't care about Alina's pain and died trying to control Alina

Emma's pain woke Killian and he died trying to free Emma from the darkness and save her family.

Therefore, these two events are not similar!

Actually, Hook's death and Mal's death line up closer! Both men gave their lives for the woman they love. Mal gave his life to give Alina more power to defeat her enemy. While Hook gave up his so that Emma's light would be restored & the darkness would be gone.

"But what the Darkling did was for the greater good! So he is at least better than Hook!"

Actually, no, it was not for the greater good. If you believe that then you too fell for the Darkling's manipulation.

The Darkling sees non-Grisha life, and the life of Grisha that refuse to stand with him, as nothing. The author makes it very clear that the Darkling's excuse that it was to "save the Grisha" was another manipulation. If he was truly trying to save the Grisha then he would have aligned himself with Alina and Nikolai instead of trying to enslave Alina and take Nikolai's throne. Him expanding the fold created more fear and disdain for Grisha. Besides, he never attacked the two regions directly responsible for Grish genocide. The Darkling also targeted innocent people to bend Alina to his will.

Whatever you want to believe of his motives, using Alina against her will was still wrong. He is so abusive, manipulative, controlling and literally terrorizes her. You can't get past that. And that's just who the Darkling is at this point. It's mentioned a few times he has lost his humanity.

Hook did murder innocent people on his path for revenge but his targets were always on point: first it was to hurt the King who was responsible for his brother's death then it was to kill Rumple for murdering Milah.

So I am sorry but neither are justified in murdering. And the Darkling is definitely more evil than Hook seeing that by the end the Darkling does not repent whereas Hook does.

"But Emma is light and she changed Hook! Alina can do the same for The Darkling!"

First things first. Emma did not change Killian. Killian wanted to change. Killian worked on becoming a better person not only to deserve Emma's love but because he wanted to be the man he was always meant to be. The Navy officer who honorably served king and country. Now Emma is his nation. Sort of like Alina is Mal's.

Alina doesn't love The Darkling. That's already been made clear. The only reason she was falling for his manipulation was because she believed Mal had abandoned her... something that was orchestrated by the Darkling as he hid Mal's letters from her and Mal himself. Any connection she has to the Darkling later was forced by the Darkling having one of his monsters bite her.

The Darkling does not love Alina. He loves that Alina's powers will help him accomplish his goals to rule. He only notices her because she is the sun summoner. In the book when she loses her powers he calls her "nothing". And the idea that it is Alina's job to change him is abhorrent. That is not Alina's job. That is his job. In the book, he says it's her job to change him and she rightly says "or you will make me a monster". He has to want to change. But he doesn't.

So lets do some side by side comparisons. Is Darkling like CaptainSwan? Or more like Rumbelle?

1) Getting rid of the competition

Show: The Darkling physically hid Mal from Alina. Book: He kept them separated on the ship and used Mal's life to get Alina to do what he wanted.

Rumple killed Belle’s fiancé & didn't tell her he'd come for her until Season 5.

Hook didn’t hide Neal from Emma & stepped aside to give them a chance.

2) Using something they care about to manipulate them into a relationship

Show: The Darkling impressed Alina with her favorite flowers to manipulate her feelings toward him (obvious since he knows she cares for Mal but doesn’t tell her where he is or that Mal’s the reason he knew about the flowers). Book & Show: He first kissed her to distract her from questions about the amplifiers which he wanted to obtain to control her. He wanted her focused on his interest in her rather than on the amplifiers so that she wouldn't guess his plans.

Rumple proposed to Belle with a fake dagger to earn her trust and get her to be his wife. He also wanted to keep her "blissfully ignorant". He also tried to use their son as a way to anchor her to him in Season 6. It worked.

Hook traded his ship for Emma. Her family needed her and he gave up his home to help her. When she first asks how he returned to her he dodges the question so it wouldn’t sway her feelings. He doesn't tell her until she asks again after they've spent time trying to make sure they don't screw up the past while trying to get back to the future.

3) Controlling the other

show & book: Darkles put a COLLAR on Alina to use her powers to expand the fold. He didn’t even tell her all of his plans. He forced her to take part in what he wanted to do which was literally wipe out an entire town. Darkles used Mal to control Alina so he could use her to use the fold to murder an entire village

Rumple locked Belle on Hook’s ship then put a magic cuff on her so she couldn’t run. In Season Four, he re-wrote the story to make Belle his wife again after she rejected him.

Hook let Emma make all the decisions in their relationship & followed her lead.

4) Isolation

Book & Show: Darkles isolated Alina from Mal. He had Genya confiscate his letters & never sent Alina’s. Book: He murdered Alina's mother figure & kidnapped all the students she cared about so that he could "strip everything from her until there was no shelter left but him".

Rumple isolated Belle - took her away to a land where they were alone & she aged 2x as fast.

Hook returned Emma to her family, befriended her father & got to know her son.

5) Their Evil Deeds

The Darkling murdered an entire city when creating the fold and again when he expanded it by using Alina. He sex trafficked Genya and did nothing to protect her from the King.

Rumple murdered people and sold children. He doesn’t regret it

The Darkling sexually assaulted Alina by pretending to be Mal.

Rumple disguised himself as Killian to put his hands on Belle. He later re-wrote Belle back to being his wife after she rejected him which would be sexual abuse.

Hook punched out his past self for trifling with Emma. Hook killed people but he paid a price & showed remorse, repented & made amends. He owned his mistakes and never tried to hide from them.

Hook fought the darkness for Emma. The moment he saw her pain he came back to himself and then sacrificed his life to get rid of the darkness forever. While Hook was a villain, he never reached the same level of treachery as The Darkling and Rumple and that is important because from a literary standpoint it makes Hook's redemption actually possible and believable. The only redemption for the Darkling and Rumple was sacrificial death (which Rumple did in S3 but then erased it by his later deeds & S7 was too little too late because if Belle had been alive it wouldn’t have happened).

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

submission by @cj-productions

Hi! It's the video diary anon, I'm not sure if sending an Ao3 link would work so I'm submitting the fic along with the link-

In the past ten hours, Danny could confidently say that his life had gone to shit.

To think it was all because he was stupid enough to trust his parents not to look through his stuff.

 Danny had been having a pretty okay day, all things considered. Him, Sam, Tuck, Jazz, Elle and Val had all gone out for the day to take his mind off it being his second death day. 

The constant company since after breakfast had been a little exhausting, but appreciated since it kept his mind off things. Now that he was on his own at the moment (Jazz had to get back to campus, his parents didn't know about Elle so she was staying with Val, who was still getting used to finding out about,Tucker had a family reunion tomorrow afternoon and Sam was technically grounded.) (her Grandma could only cover for so long.)

His thoughts were getting darker,  like they had his first death day. He should probably make a video diary about it, it was a little late so his mom and dad should be in the lab by now. That gave him pretty much free reign to say what he wanted, just had to be a little quieter than usual since their newest project involved less hunting and more actual scientific studies.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he walked up the steps to his front door and opened it.

"Mom, Dad, I'm home!" He called out, just in case they hadn't gotten to work yet.

He paused at the sight of the lab door wide open. His parents may not be the best at lab safety, but they had always had the common sense to shut the door when working on projects. 

Now that he was thinking about it, it was unusually silent. 

"Mom! Dad? Where are you?" he dashed into the house, instantly worried that something had happened.

"Mo-" Danny's heart stopped as he rounded the corner into the living room, "shit."

They had found them, his video diaries from the last two years all in a folder he had made were open on his laptop. The newest one from last week looking like it had just been watched.

"Shit."

"Spook! Get out of my boy!" 

Oh Shit.

Danny whipped around to see the barrel of the bazooka pointed right at him and his Dad behind it. His Mom holding the weapon they had built last week in her hand beside Dad.

"Danny sweetie! It's going to be alright,  your just being overshadowed," Mom said in the voice she used when she would tell him in Jazz that ghost were things and not people. That the dead felt no pain. 

"What? No! Mom, Dad please let me explain"- He backed up a little to not look them both in the eyes, only to be met with goggles -" I am Phantom, I'm a halfa like my video diaries said!"

"Oh hun, that's not true, Phantom was just trying to get you on it's side so it could get more control over you." She sounded like she was talking to a fucking five year old.

"Yeah, no," Danny said, regretting coming home the more his parents spoke, "I am Phantom, so please stop calling me an it. You know I hate that." 

"Danny boy, just stay still and we'll blast that dastardly Spook out you in no time! Then you'll see what's actually happening." His dad chimed in, acting like he wasn't pointing a weapon at him.

"No! Didn't you two watch all the videos? Which, now that I'm thinking about it, why did you do that? You promised you wouldn't go through my stuff," Danny questioned, desperately hoping they would say no, that they had only watched a few and it was a misunderstanding.

"We did, it's honestly terrifying how much Phantom influenced has had on you," his mom said, "we're so sorry we didn't notice sooner, but we're not sorry about the looking through them. You've been being manipulated!"

"So, you watch all of them and you still think I'm getting overshadowed?!" Danny yelled, "Are you kidding me? I may not remember everything I've said but I sure as hell know it's proof that I'm not getting overshadow-"

He got cut off by the feeling of the bazooka's ecto blast hitting him square in the chest. 

He stumbled back, hitting the wall as he looked up at his parents, only to be meet with smiles. 

"Sorry Danno, your eyes started glowing green! We had to get rid of the spook as soon as possible," Jack said. Like he hadn't just shot him, like he hadn't betrayed what little trust he had left for his parents and then fucking shot him. On purpose. 

"Why don't we take you down to the lab and give you a little check up, okay?" Maddie said with that fucking tone, again, as she went to grab his arm.

Yeah, fuck no. 

Danny grabbed his laptop, went intangible and shot up the stairs to his room. He got his emergency bag from in the floor boards and his overnight bag from his closet. He zipped open the overnight one and stuffed it with all of his things that he could, adrenaline keeping him from shutting down.

He hesitated when he was done, deciding whether or not he should go to the hideout him, Sam and Tuck had claimed for themselves or if he should go to the Zone. 

"YOU DAMN SPOOK! GET BACK HERE AND GIVE US BACK OUR SON" was shouted, followed by the sound of the bazooka powering back up.

Zone it is then, he wasn't risking the hideout getting found.

Shifting into his ghost form, he grabbed his bags, took one last look at his now barren room and flew straight down to the basement, ignoring the sounds of his door bursting open behind him.

-----------------------------------------------------

Danny had been flying for what felt like hours before he got  to the Far Frozen. He had considered going to Clockwork but had decided against it cause of his undoubtedly horrible ecto burn on his chest. Clockwork's lair was further and it had probably needed treatment desperately an hour ago. 

Now he was sitting in the village medical center numb, most likely disassociating, while Clockwork and Frostbite talk about what they're going to do about Jack and Maddie over in the next room.

It was only then it really hit him, that they had heard him poor his heart out, seen him break down and cry, learned about almost all of the shit he's been through, and still decided to shoot him. 

It felt like his core was screaming in pain as he curled up and cried from the betrayal he felt. Something he had bracing himself for back when had come out to them four years ago. Something he had been promised they would never do. 

Then again, he always kind of knew this reveal wouldn't end well. He just had hoped they wouldn't shot.

He guess he should have hoped it wouldn't be one of the larger weapons instead. 

--------------------

bruh 😭

thank you for sharing ❤️

[liptonsbabe]

The light is coming [B.W]

Bill Weasley x Lexington! reader

Chapter 1

Summary: The power of the Dark Lord shakes the entire magical community to its foundations, no one is safe as Lord Voldemort  is so strong and the boy who lived becomes weaker; The magnanimous Order of the Phoenix is in dire need to gather all its members and even to recruit wizards beyond the borders of the community.

Albus Dumbledore knows that amidst the reign of darkness, the light will return to restore all that it took and bring with it extraordinary powers, even if it leaves an aftermath that cannot be erased. The Order of the Phoenix will need all the help it can get, including the help of the mythical (Y/N) Lexington.

Harry Potter's parents were not the only ones killed by the hands of Lord Voldemort.

Word count: 1.8K

Warnings: none

A/N:Hi! A new Bill’s fanfic for you all. This story is finished so if you like this part let me know so and i’ll update as soon as i can! Again, reader’s last name is Lexington but is just for the plot of this story 

English not my mother language so please don’t kill me. Enjoy!

Chapter 1: The Order Of The Phoenix

Charlie and Bill Weasley had returned from their jobs abroad with the only purpose of duly serving the Order of the Phoenix commanded by Albus Dumbledore. For Bill it hadn’t been a sacrifice to return home, things in Egypt were not going at all well and he only asked for his transfer to an English office to work and at the same time help the Order. It wasn’t the same for his brother Charlie, cause he had to leave all his errands in Romania along with all his beautiful dragons.The journey to Grimmauld Place had been complicated cause, despite not missing anything from the countries they were returning from (with the exception of Charlie's dragons) they could quickly get used to the quiet, anti-Voldemort pace of life that the English magical community was vitiated by.

Both brothers were welcomed by their mother Molly Weasley, with tears in her eyes she hugged them as tightly as she could inviting them into the farthest room possible. Bill remembered Grimmauld Place very vaguely, the only time he set a foot inside the house was when Dumbledore asked him to help him clear the rooms and turn them into curse free spaces where they could quietly discuss classified Order business.

No matter how many times they cleaned that place, the old house of Black would always remain with that grayish appearance and the musty smell of worn wood. Sirius didn't seem to have any intention of renovating its fallen parts - of which there were quite a few - but seemed to enjoy watching the house fall apart. Be that as it may, Bill thought that any place was a good place to plan the crazy moves Albus Dumbledore had in his head.

The room was filled with people Bill had met before through letters his mother sent him informing him of the Order's progress, Dumbledore thought the best way to gain the upper hand against Voldemort's dark army was to recruit wizards who were willing to give their lives to protect the magical community. Surprisingly more people arrived than Bill could have imagined in addition to all those wizards and witches who had already been part of the association for years.

Taking a seat by the door, Bill and Charlie recognized the silhouette of Nymphadora Tonks. Not that it was very difficult to recognize her as her short, straight, bubblegum pink hair stood out among all the others. The metamorphmagus managed to acknowledge the newcomers sending them a warm smile before gluing her gaze on the door.

Charlie elbowed his brother's shoulder

“Dumbledore and his crazy schemes making us come here just for the Order business....”

“It was necessary," Bill cut him off, looking at him out of the corner of his eye, "Do you even know what's going on with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, don't you?” Charlie shook his head “it’s a real mess and you'd know it if you didn't spend so much time with your dragons.

“Don't bring them into this”

“They're some of them now?”

“Yeah, we got a shipment of Peruvian Vipertooths in this month and oh, brother, they're beautiful!”

“Wait” Bill frowned ”Those things doesn’t eat people?

“well yes, but that's only part of their diet, they also feed on goats and cows. We keep them in a cage near the forest because that species was supposedly exterminated after being considered dangerous to wizards and muggles alike, but I think they're beautiful”

Charlie's eyes sparkled and Bill couldn't help thinking that he was the odd one among his siblings. His admiration for dragons frightened him even though he found it adorable at times.

“You know, I'm not surprised you're still single. Knowing you as i do, you'll end up marrying one of those dragons or in the worst case, eaten by one”

Charlie didn't like his older brother's comment.

“What about you? As far as I know, you're not dating someone either”

Charlie's sudden criticism made him clear his throat and settle better in his seat. When they looked over at Tonks, they noticed that she was still staring at the door. Charlie hurried him to answer his comment.

“I met someone” His brother's blue eyes widened, amazed “I mean, we met in Egypt, she was traveling and we only went out a couple of times, nothing important.

“That's what you always say, William” Charlie looked at him mischievously ”No one seems to be good enough for you, huh? Or are you still thinking about someone since our childhood?”

Bill knew what his brother was trying to do and immediately shook his head. He had had this adolescent love for a girl who had left to France without anyone knowing the reasons why. Bill was totally hooked on her, yet the disappointment of her being thousands of miles away from him had broken his heart in a way he couldn't explain. Charlie knew about it, because he was the only one of his siblings who was old enough to understand; still, that didn't take away from the fact that he made fun of her misfortune a couple of times.

“Shut it”

Albus Dumbledore brought an end to everyone's conversations after standing up and clapping his hands a couple of times to get their attention. With a sincere smile, Dumbledore dimmed the lights in the room to reveal dozens of candles levitating all over the place. Bill fell silent and looked at the man

“I know that most of you here had to pause your activities just to attend this extraordinary meeting of the Order of the Phoenix, and for that I want to thank you," Dumbledore smiled at them, "We are fully aware of what is happening in the magical community thanks to the terrible presence of Lord Voldemort," Dumbledore ignored the shrieks of amazement from the audience “That leaves me with the advantage of not having to explain what is obvious to you, so the important thing about this assembly is to make it clear that, despite the magnificent increase in our membership over the past few days, we are still in the minority against the Dark Lord's ranks”

The murmurs grew louder and louder, causing Dumbledore to ask for everyone's calm.

“This doesn’t mean that your help is in vain, what I am trying to say is that we need more wizards and witches to join the Order”

“Where will we get more people?”Asked a witch wearing a yellowish hood on her head, "People are afraid, they're not going to join the Order just like that”

“We'll try to convince them," Dumbledore said calmly. "Of course, all of those who want to join will have to undergo proper training.

“So you're asking for more Aurors?”Minerva McGonagall asked. Professor Dumbledore smiled broadly

“Indeed”

The hubbub in the room intensified for a couple of minutes before Albus Dumbledore called for silence. Bill agreed with everyone that this was sheer madness. It was practically impossible for aurors to enter something as sensitive as the Order of the Phoenix - with the exception of Tonks and Mad-Eye Moody, Bill thought those two were insane - without them reporting every movement of Order members to the Ministry. Yes, the aurors were the best trained people for this kind of work, however, they were the hardest to convince

“Why don't we just make Harry a part of the team?”Asked  Sirius from the middle of the room. Molly Weasley let out a shriek of indignation.

“What are you talking about? Harry's just a boy!”

“Molly, please, the boy knows more about this situation than any of us put together!”

“Even so, it's still dangerous for him”

“It is for everyone. I don't see what difference it makes if Harry is in on it, that way he'd have more support from the Order and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named would stay away from him”

-If it is true what Sirius says," Dumbledore interjected, "It's no less true that Harry can't be a member of the Order yet. Not until he fixes the problem he has with the ministry after he used magic in front of a Muggle trying to ward off the Dementors that are getting closer and closer to non-wizards. Right now Harry should be being moved to this place to stay at least until the new school year begins.

“And in the meantime what are we going to do?” Severus Snape asked. Bill raised his eyebrows, noticing how Nymphadora Tonks raised her hand to give her opinion.

“I hope this isn't too hasty, but I've been sending some letters to Beauxbatons College in France in search of a response from the Aurors. It is well known that none of them have been willing to give us their help, but this afternoon I received a letter from one person who is willing to help us in any way she can," Tonks looked at everyone before continuing, "I know that one person doessn’t represent a great addition to our ranks, but I am absolutely certain that she is our best option”

Bill's eyes flicked from Nymphadora to Dumbledore repeatedly. He had that strange feeling that Dumbledore knew who she was referring even though she hadn't said the name yet. Dumbledore nodded a couple of times asking Tonks to continue. She cleared her throat

“She should be here soon”

“We’ll wait patiently”

Dumbledore's nod wasn't necessary cause seconds later the door flung wide open letting in the light from the main corridor. Bill glanced at the newcomer noting your expensive French clothes and your perfectly coiffed hair in a ponytail. His breath quickened as he took a close look at your face and recognized those features he remembered from when he was a teenager. A quick glance at Charlie was enough to confirm that what he saw was not an illusion.

The whole room rose to their feet, and as you entered the room raising your hands to the sky, the room was filled with a bright light that caused everyone to take cover before it blinded them permanently. Bill caught a glimpse of Tonks' pleased giggle before you reached Dumbledore giving him a handshake as a greeting while keeping the light alive with your opposite hand.

Your wand was in your jacket pocket and from your hands an endless fountain of light gushed forth, bringing peace to the members of the order.

The mythical (Y/N) Lexington didn’t needed a wand to have magic.    

[smilingperformer]

Discussing the good and bad of Pokémon Journeys: Part “Goh”

Oh boi... this part is gonna be a doozy. Because I have a lot to talk about Goh, or as I tend to call him, Gou.

TLDR; I like Gou as a character but I very, very much have issues with the way he's currently written in the show. And that frustrates me deeply as I'd love to feel more positively about him. More under the cut, with Journeys abverted as JN.

Where do I even begin... Maybe by how I first became a fan of Gou's character, by after some time started to go back to neutral ground.

Like, ever since the very first episode, we've got a very clear picture of what kind of character Gou is: a bookworm, loves Pokémon, loves to show his knowledge and isn't exactly good at making friends. His only friend before Satoshi (and before learning about Tokio/Horace's reasonings for not showing up to their meeting place) was Chloe/Koharu, and we still don't know how the two met. Thou my guess is that their childhood friendship bonded over their parents meeting during some job or by Koharu feeling the need to be Gou's friend. Who knows, it's something I want to learn about. But that's besides the point, cough.

But like, from the very first episode on, it became clear that this show wants to focus on Gou, and telling his journey on becoming a Pokémon Trainer who wants to catch all of the Pokémon in the World, in order to get closer to catching Mew, the mythical Pokémon who's said to contain DNA of all existing Pokémon. He had a very strong introduction arc, with showing his dynamic with Koharu, having him meet Satoshi on top of Lugia, first getting to know Satoshi (and Rockets) and then catching his first partner Pokémon in Hibunny. However, as time went on and episodes started piling up, I started feeling like something about him was... off.

I feel like the first time I had an issue with the writing involving him was in JN006, where he went on his first catching spree. Where he kept catching Pokémon with ease. Small struggle at the start when trying to work together his dynamic with Hibunny, but the rest of the ep felt way too easy. Then again, Gou IS flat out Pokémon GO promotion. No one can deny that. His purpose is to promote GO's capture mechanic. It is the most successful Pokémon Mobile game of all time.

Anyway, the easy captures piled up on and on til JN010 when he finally had to use dozens of pokeballs to catch one. single. Dewgong. I loved this so much. It made me feel more at ease with his goal mechanic and I felt like I'd be fine with him from there on out. And I was. Til I started having new issues with him. All thanks to Satoshi's new goal in PWC finally having been established.

As time went on, it became clearer and clearer, that Gou was more focused on when it came to his goal progression, development in character level, and in what kind of quality his episodes would be.

Everyone knows how much I love JN032. Everyone does. It's one of my absolute fav episodes in the series. However, it also kinda is what first prompted me starting my worry that hasn't gone away since then: That Gou feels more like the protagonist than Satoshi does in this series, and not really an equal dual protag he was advertised to be.

Before the pitchforks are getting aimed at me, hear me out. I know, that based on some statistics, the focus is equal, with sliiiightly more inclinded towards Gou. However, that's where the issue is: Gou has, so far for me, had way better focus and way better episodes in this series, than Satoshi has, while also getting progress on his goal on other character's focus episodes. When Satoshi's episodes have been about PWC and training his Pokémon, Gou's had the kind of episodes that are more character exploring, developing him, evolving him in some way. And it, frustrates me. Because despite my better judgement, it gives me this feeling that Gou is stealing Satoshi's thunder, even when some type of statistics would suggest otherwise. It gives me this feeling that Gou is here to write Satoshi out. I do not like that I feel this way, I don't know how to get rid of this feeling and I hate it here.

Again, I like Gou's character, he's sweet, well developed, and I do enjoy seeing him in his own episodes. But I have come to noticed, than whenever he gets goal progression in an episode that's supposed to focus on Koharu or Satoshi, I feel so.... angry? And I've never, ever felt like this while watching other characters progress. And I know it's irrational.

Like, his main partner's already fully evolved, his secondary partner Sobble is already evolving soon despite only having one focus episode for itself before it, and he's caught all three of the Galar starters now, with some of his other not-that-important Pokémon making appearances every now and then with possible evolution showcases. And it's all done so fast. Same issue was with Satoshi's poketeam evolving in fast arcs, but I forgot to mention about it? But then again, I am somewhat fine with it as I get the writing style is to focus on one 'mon and then move on to another. Which is not to my taste completely but I digress. ANYWAY, back to Gou.

After seeing discussions and joining in on some on tumblr and twitter and elsewhere, it does appear that Gou's development speed and progression speed is incredibly fast. Like, seriously fast. He's caught a lot of Pokémon by now, and the show's already shown about 50% percent of all existing Pokémon in a bit over a year. About 30% being caught by Gou. (Statistics borrowed from EntityMays' Living Dex trackers, links in posts will disrupt showing in tag search so, google EntityMays's Living Dex, and you'll find the statistics there).

This is also very apparent when you think about how fast Gou suddenly became a good battler, when at the beginning he sucked. A lot. I get Satoshi could be a great example on learning how to battle with good strategy in mind, but we barely saw Gou struggle. We Satoshi struggle in OS, so I would have prefered more struggling by Gou. His first battle against a legendary ended up in Zapdos almost getting caught and uuuuuggh, while it's a pretty good episode it really should have been at later point, same with Suicune episode. Thou with the latter I have WAY more issues than just the placement but, I'm not gonna rant about that today.

And what should I say about his dynamics with other characters... They're good, I am a huge fan of how the dynamic between Koharu and Gou works, as their childhood friend dynamic is shown so, so well, and you can just tell the two have mutual respect as Gou gives Koharu the space she needed when she wasn't into Pokémon for a while, and when she then became partners with Eevee, Gou was so so SO darn supportive just, AGH. Love how these two work.

And everyone knows I fell for Gou x Tokio dynamic straight away. Like they had a friendship built up right away when they first met as little kids and Tokio missing out on their promised meeting due to being sick and not having any means of contacting him yes still considered Gou his friend after these years when Gou considered him a traitor of trust and Gou then forgives him for it and just aaaaaahhh-. KRHM. Excuse me.

Then there's Gou and Satoshi's dynamic and I already said in my post about Satoshi how I feel intimidated by the fans of their shipping and how it makes me feel.... kinda sad about not being able to like their dynamic for what it is. I LOVE it a ton. I have said it a countless times, they're a broTP to me. They're dynamic was very enjoyable for me to watch, and even Gou was. But like, on TOP of these issues I mentioned before this part, I also have another issue with Gou: his fanbase, or the crazier part of it.

Often times I feel like I'm unable to enjoy Gou's character without being reminded of the fans who constantly think of him as shipping fuel, or think he's flawless and anyone disagreering is in some form a negative trait filled human being, etc etc etc. In a way, I feel like I'd enjoy Gou and his dynamic with Satoshi way, way more, if I had never learned about this side of the fandom. Let people like their dynamic the way they want. Be it romantic or platonic. Neither is wrong, but pushing one side to push their own headcanon to other people's head is just, bad act. Having this feeling in me has actually made me wonder, whether I would have liked other characters I am such a huge fan of, if I had been watching their shows during their airing times (for example Serena).

Now what would I have done differently with Gou? Firstly, slow the fuck down. I would have prefered to see Hibunny way more. I would have prefered to have one Galar Starter, namely Grookey, go to Satoshi, as it would help me feel less like Gou's stealing his thunder. I would have prefered if Gou and Satoshi's goals were established around same time. I would have very much liked it, if Gou wouldn't be catching Pokémon each episode.

Now what COULD help me like him better from what we have by now? Well. Slow it down. Have him interact with Koharu more. Give him a rival to further make him shine on his own instead of seemingly relying on Satoshi to shine through. Hell, maybe make Tokio his friendly rival. And on top of that, please let him not catch Pokémon almost every single episode. I'd love an episode where he captures some Pokémon that prefers to be free, and he then would let it go. I think that would make his character be good on his own, and make me feel better about him once again.

Cough. I think I've got my point clear. As said, I like Gou, but very much dislike the way he's written in such fast pacing and in a way that, despite statistics stating otherwise, making him feel like he's the sole protag and not sharing spotlight as dual protag. And I hope to god I can get rid of this feeling as the series goes on. Because right now, I don't have high hopes :(

If you've read this far, thank you for reading, and I am so, so sorry this became a long long rant about the issues I have with Gou, but I hope I managed to bring out what I like about him as well. Hopefully next time's gonna be a more positive post, as I'll try writing about my full on feelings about the handling of Koharu, or as dub audience knows her, Chloe.

Once again, thanks for reading, have a good evening or morning or whatever time it is by the time you've read this, and I hope you'll have a fantastic time ♥ And as a reminder, these are just my opinions, and if you disagree, you are totally valid.

Til next time! This was Smiling Performer aka Aleira, signing out!

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

The Perfect Bad Boy (Pt. 15 of 18)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 3 K

Summary: Working as a lifeguard in the Hawkins Community Pool, you try to fit in after moving from New York. Things were going pretty well when you notice you've been under someone's stare. Billy Hargrove, Hawkins' bad boy, has been staring at you since day one. You never intended to have anything to do with him, judging by the reputation he has. But Billy won't leave you alone, determined to show you his feelings are different this time...

As if your heart flooding you with confusing feelings wasn't enough, there are weird, strange animals lurking in the woods... But those have to be just part of the wild live of the woods surrounding Hawkins... Right?

<- Previous part (14)

Next part (16) ->

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

×

Missing

There are seven holes. Seven. But they aren't seven different nests, they're tunnels, with seven openings to the surface of the Earth. You only know that because Eleven spent the whole night focused on finding them, seated in the living room of Joyce's place, a piece of fabric covering her eyes. The map from before remained on the floor beside her, and she reached out to draw where the tunnels reach. You barely had any sleep, just the pair of hours you slept with your head on Billy's shoulder, seated on the couch, but someone's voice woke you up.

Relief fills your heart when the morning comes. During the night, you could only think about those things lurking around. After a quick shower, and using one of Eleven's shirt, you go to the kitchen and decide to have breakfast there, where you can be alone. Eating a bowl of cereal, you run a hand through your hair, trying to understand how are you going back to the pool today and act like none of this is happening.

“Hey, princess,” Billy says, coming into the kitchen. Hair is still wet and wearing only his jacket. “Are you ok?”

“I'm trying to be.” Pushing the bowl away, you watch as he makes himself the same meal you had. “Wondering how am I going to work today.”

“Wanna stay here? I can tell Anthony that you're sick. If he even shows up.”

“No. It'll be worse if I stay.” You're confused, not sure what's the best or what's worse. But at least in the pool you'll have something normal going on.

“Hey, you two,” Joyce says as she comes in. Her voice gets your attention, and when you look at her after exchanging a glance with Billy, you see that Hopper is right behind her, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed together. “How are you two doing?”

“Uhm... Good.” It sounds like a question. Joyce sits at the table, with Hopper standing behind her. He has the chief face on, and you have no idea why. “Everything alright? Are we in trouble or something?” Gesturing at you and Billy, and cross your legs, an eye on the clock because you'll still need to stop by home to get the swimsuit.

“No, of course not. It's just that the kids were talking about something and–”

“Are you two living together?" Hopper speaks up, swallowing Joyce's words. She gives him a hard stare, and there's some kind of conversation going on through facial expressions that you can't understand.

“Yes.” You answer, not sure why you're in this situation in the first place. You feel like you're having the talk with Diane all over again. Diane. You have to call her, just to make sure everything is alright. “Why?”

“There were some rumors running around that–”

“That Billy Hargrove got some chick pregnant.” Hopper again. But this time Joyce slaps his arm.

“We agreed you'd let me do this.” She whispers.

“Then just get to the damn point.” He snaps back.

With wide eyes, you look at Billy. He doesn't seem bothered by this, peacefully eating his cereal. There's a smile on his lips that he tries to hold back, but you know him far too well now. You can see it. He's having fun.

“Look, guys, Uhm... These rumors started after I fainted on the pool, but it was from heat exhaustion, so...” Deciding to just end whatever this is, you speak up, kicking Billy's leg and whispering to him. “Say something.”

“(Y/N), honey, do your parents know about that?”

This makes you laugh, but then you remember Joyce doesn't know about your relationship, or better saying, the lack of it. “No, and I don't plan on doing that. But my aunt Diane does.”

“And she allowed it?” Hopper takes his time pronouncing every word as if this is absurd. “You're lucky you're not my daughter.”

“Hopper, just...” Joyce mumbles, her voice fading. “We just wanted to make sure you guys are... You know... Going somewhere with this. Living together is something really big and important to do.”

“I'll only say two things.” Billy finally makes his presence known, getting up and throwing his bowl in the sink. “First of all, I'm planning on marrying (Y/N). Second, we better go now or we'll be late. Again.”

There's a weird buzz in your ears as Billy takes your hand and starts pulling you with him. Joyce and Hopper have wide eyes, mouth half-open, in shock. You're not that different, and all your body is able to do is keep following Billy outside and to his car. You're silently looking through the window as he drives, but you're doing that on purpose, just to get back at him for saying that out of the blue.

“Aren't you gonna say anything?” He asks parking in front of the house.

“Absolutely not.” Stepping out of the car, you don't wait for him, heading inside. “If you really wanna do what you said, I'll patiently wait until you propose, Hargrove.” Turning around just enough to wink at him, you bite back a smile.

You're quick to get ready and manage not to be late. The song is blasting when Billy pulls over on his parking spot, and the moment the song is gone, you hear the chattering, noticing three police cars.

Your heart skips a beat when you leave the car, taking a deep breath. “Hey,” Billy calls, taking your hand. “Let's check what happened before jumping to conclusions, ok?”

“Ok.” Holding his arm, you move to the entrance, where a small crowd gathers. Hopper is here, and by the messy way of his clothes, he had to run over here. He immediately notices you and Billy, a sad look on his face. And that's when you see Monica, running a hand through her hair, tears glistening on her cheeks.

“Mon?” Calling, you let go of Billy and runs to her. Monica breaks a little bit when she sees you, and you're quick to hug her. “Mon, what happened?”

“It's Jason. My cousin is missing, (Y/N).” She cries on your shoulder, and you close your eyes tight because the first thing that comes to your head is probably what got him. The Demodogs. “He went out yesterday to buy dinner a-and his mom called mine saying he was taking long and...” You pull away, holding her hands. “...that was early evening yesterday. And he's still missing. The family spent the whole night looking for him and–”

“Mon, I'm sure we'll find him.” It's hard to lie. It's even harder not to break down in front of her. “Maybe he felt bad and fainted or something like that. We'll find him.”

“I hope so.”

“I'll drive you home, ok? Billy can keep the pools safe for one day.”

When she nods, drying off some tears, you make your way over him, who's talking to Hopper. He probably already knows, but you try to keep a straight face.

“Come here, princess.” He opens his arms and you don't even hesitate, hugging him tightly. “I'm so sorry. But we'll find him. The party is already aware of everything.” Whispering on my ear, Billy places a kiss on the top of your hair.

“I...” Getting rid of the single tear that escaped your efforts to hold it back, you pull away. “I'll take her home, she's very shaken. Can you just keep an eye–”

“Keep an eye on the kids, of course.” He bends over to kiss you, and your arms, almost automatically, move to be around his neck. “I'll pick you up after work, ok? I love you.”

“I love you.” It still makes you blush to hear those words, but you absolutely love to say it back. After one last kiss, you part ways.

Monica talks as you drive to her place, sharing memories with her cousin. Some of them you already know, but you don't stop her, laughing and making silly comments, trying to keep her mind away from the fact that Jason is missing.

Your mind also starts remembering. Obviously, you didn't have all the time around Jason that Monica had, but he was one of the first people you met when you got here. He's always smiling, carrying his siblings around, always complaining, but always happy to be with them. Jason is funny, even when he's the only one who actually gets his jokes.

Jason is missing.

Demidogs need a lot of food. An almost 6 feet tall male human has a lot of meat.

Shaking your head lightly, you push these thoughts away. No breaking down now. Monica needs you strong, to keep her strong too. Her family is either at Jason's or still looking, so you're alone. Both of you stay seated on her bed, and you give her your shoulder when she starts crying again. He's gone for one night and she's already losing it... If anything bad happens...

Her parents return home a couple of hours later, thankful to you for taking her back home. You drag her into the living room, turning the TV on this random movie and trying to convince her to pay some attention. You can hear her parents in the kitchen, making lunch, but you also hear when her mother cries, the low, cracking voice as she talks to her husband. It's getting hard by the minute to stay here, pretending you don't know what probably happened, but if you cry, if you start doubting Jason is ok, Monica will break apart.

A knock on the door, an unusually loud and frenetic knock, gets your attention. Looking over your shoulder, you see as Monica's father goes to answer it.

“Hi. Is (Y/N) here?” You hear a feminine voice, and you soon recognize it's Nancy.

Excusing yourself, you get up. “Yes, she's–”

“Hey.” You go to the front door, seeing Nancy and two cars in the sidewalk, many eyes looking at you. “Something wrong?”

“Sorry, but we need you. Uhm... Maxine is sick. We need to have a doctor check on her.”

“What?” You exclaim, running a hand through your hair. “Mon.” Calling her, you quickly make your way back to the living room. “I'm so sorry, but Maxine is feeling ill, I have to go. But I promise I'll call you later, ok?”

“Sure. Go help.” She says, nodding and clearing her throat since her voice is all clouded by her crying.

“Stay calm, honey. Jason is alright, I'm sure.” Another lie. You shouldn't make promises you don't know if you can keep. Giving her a quick hug, you run outside, muttering a goodbye to Mon's father as Nancy does the same.

“We'll go looking for him.” She says in a low voice as you move toward the cars. “We don't stand still when shit happens.”

Her choice of words makes you raise your eyebrows. You never heard her saying anything like that. “Thanks.” Muttering, you seat shotgun in Steve's car as she goes to Jonathan's. There are four kids on the back seat, fighting for some more space. You're happy to see Max is alright. For a moment, you thought she was really sick.

You park in the woods, and there are already some people here. Everyone but Hopper, because he has to be in the official search party, and Billy. God, you wish Billy was here.

“Alright, let's do this,” Mike says, and he freely starts separating you in groups. “Eleven and Will with me. Lucas, Jonathan, and Robin. Uhm... Max, Steve, and (Y/N). Joyce–”

“Why are you messing up the groups, man. I wanna go with Max.” Lucas complains and Mike rolls his eyes. “Groups of four, as usual.”

“Since when?”

“Alright, just gather in groups, c'mon, guys,” Joyce says, eyeing both her kids until they go to stand by her side, alongside Nancy.

You move to stand with Max and Lucas, and after playing rock, paper, scissors with Robin, Steve comes to your group. You raise your eyebrows at him, trying to get why they had to use that method to choose a group. “Nobody wants to be with these two lovebirds.” He says when he's close enough.

“That's something I can understand.” There's no doubt Max and Lucas are into each other, but they're constantly fighting. It's funny to watch, actually.

“Let's get started then, guys. Be careful, pay attention to the radios, and let's find Jason.” Joyce announces, taking over Hopper's role in this.

And everyone starts moving, each group in a different direction. You're going to the holes first, just to check, and then you'll cover a specific area. Max and Lucas are once again responsible for the map and walk a couple of feet ahead.

“Hey. Take this.” Steve gets your attention, taking the bat from his backpack and handing it over to you. “I know Jason was a close friend of yours. Sorry this happened.”

“Yeah.” You lay the bat over your shoulder, careful not to entangle your hair in the nails. “I really thought it couldn't get any worse but life proved me wrong.”

“I remember when Will went missing. I was a total jerk back then so I didn't really care.” You glance over to Steve, and he has an apologetic look on his face. “They found the body and there was a funeral. But the body was fake and Will was fine in the end.”

“Someone should make a movie out of that story.” You mumble, taking a deep breath. “Do you think Jason could be in the... Upside Down?”

“No. According to Eleven, no portals were open. The Demodogs just made these woods into their new home and are doing what it takes to survive.” Through the corner of your eyes, you see when he almost slips, opening his arms slightly to regain balance. “Don't laugh.” He says, but you're already chuckling. “Anyway, wherever he is, he's here.”

“Why don't we tell Eleven to just use her powers and find him. Wouldn't it be easier?”

“These woods are huge. And we usually just do that when it's the last resource.” Lucas answers.

“We don't like pushing her. It always brings back sad memories.”

That's something you can understand perfectly. “We do it the old way then.” You've seen how complicated it is. Eleven's nose wouldn't stop bleeding while she was figuring out the tunnels, and after while blood came out of her ears too. As much as you want to find Jason, you'd never ask her or the party to do something just so you'd feel better. They're in it far longer than you, so you trust them to make the decisions and set the pace. “I just hope he's alright. He's Monica's cousin, and she's worried to death.”

“Yeah, I get that.” It doesn't go unnoticed how Steve doesn't make false promises as you did with Monica. He doesn't say he's ok, that you'll find him. Running a hand through your hair, you take a deep breath, confused between having hopes or just expecting the worse. “So, changing the subject.” He speaks again. “You and Hargrove. I never thought Billy would actually fall in love.”

A smile comes to your lips, and you're thankful for having something else to think about. “Yeah. It took a while for me to believe that but he... He worked hard.” Involuntary, your hand goes for the necklace, fingers playing with the earring.

“Joyce and Hopper were saying something about marriage...” It sounds like a question, and you give Steve a glance, giggling. “They were trying not to let anyone hear them but Hopper doesn't really know how to whisper.”

By the heat spreading through your cheeks, you know you're blushing. Could it be real? Would Billy marry you? Is he really considering such a thing? “We spoke about it, Uhm... Twice, I think. But not a real conversation, he just spilled it out.”

“Holy shit, he's going serious with you then.” He playfully elbows your arm. By what you've seen and by what Max told you, Steve usually grows protective of everyone since he joined the party, and you think it's cute. He's like everyone's babysitter. “Send me an invitation, would you?”

“I will.”

“You–”

Maxine's yell cuts him short, getting your attention as you notice you have fallen behind. Immediately, you and Steve start running towards then.

“Man, that's...” Lucas says as Max hugs him, eyes tightly shut.

You're about to ask them what the hell happened when you follow Lucas' scared stare.

It's a weird sensation when you're brain refuses to take in the information. When your eyes, focused on something, are blind. And your ears are deaf and the wind blowing doesn't touch your skin. It's like you're not there.

Jason's body is stuck between a big rock and a dead tree. His torso is opened up, and there's nothing inside.

As there's nothing inside Jason anymore. He's empty. Body and soul. There will be no laughter leaving his lips, no more jokes, no more arms to carry his baby siblings around. Nothing. Just flesh and bones, both ripped apart.

“(Y/N).” You're sure it's not the first time you hear someone calling your name, but you're not even sure where it comes from.

You only move when an arm pulls you, and you feel it around you. “We have to go. C'mon.” Steve says, and, far and distant, you hear static, and voices, coming from the radio. “(Y/N).”

“I need Billy.” It's the only thing that comes to your head, and you find a way to force the words out of your throat.

“Alright, let's go,” Steve says, and you're only set on motion because of his arm around your shoulders.

Everything is a blur. You notice people moving around, and some of them come to hug you as they start regrouping near the cars. Nodding and thanking their kind words, you remain silent, arms crossed, the image still burning in your brain.

Jason's rib cage broken open, the blood staining his clothes and the ground around him. His head twisted in an awkward way, neck probably disconnected from the body.

“Let's get moving. She wants to talk to Billy.”

“The pool will close in an hour. Take her home.”

“No, she's scaring me. We need to take her to Billy.” Max intervenes, and Steve pulls you to his car. You let Max seat shotgun, feeling better in the backseat where you can curl into a ball, knees pressed against your chest as the landscape passes by.

It reminds you the first time you saw that thing. You were trying to beat Billy, driving back to your place. Maybe, if you had gone to the police station the next day, let them know something was out there, you could've avoided this. But who would believe you? You didn't believe it either. What are you going to tell Monica? After saying things would be ok, that they would find Jason alive and well when you knew being out in the woods all night long probably meant he'd become Demodog's meal.

You knew it, yet you lied. Vain hope is the worst kind of hope, and that's what you gave her.

“(Y/N).” Steve gets your attention, touching your shoulder. “We're at the pool.”

Blinking a few times to wake up from the stupor, you bolt out of the car, making your way to the entrance. It's crowded today, but you don't see faces, you just see obstacles.

It finally starts kicking in.

You went to find Jason, and you did. But instead of the dear friend you so easily grew to love, you found a dead, empty corpse. The tears threat to overflow as you rudely bump into people, making your way through the pool. At a distance, you see the moment Billy finally notices the commotion, his eyes quick to find you. By the way his face changes, the way he takes off his sunglasses and jumps to the ground, shoving people out of his way, you must be looking terrible.

But you don't care. Billy is everything you need, the only thing you see and you know you can break down in his arms. You just need to reach him, and when you do, you collapse against his chest, not able to hold back the tears anymore, the sobs building up your throat as you hold onto him.

“I'm so sorry,” Billy mumbles in your ear. He knows. How could he not?

You suddenly feel him lifting you up, and you hide your teary face on the crook of his neck. Seconds later you're at the locker room, and Billy screams for the other girls to get out as he puts you down, seated on one of the benches.

“I'm so sorry, (Y/N).” He repeats, kneeled before you, thumbs coming to dry off some tears, just to make space for more.

“I saw him. H-he was all eaten, Billy. His body was-his body was wide open and everything was gone–”

“Stop, stop.” He begs, pulling you into a hug. “You don't have to tell me, not now.” Nodding, you take in his scent, feeling safe, secure, despite the terror creeping under your skin. “I'll take you home, ok?”

“No.” You mutter, pulling away just enough so you're foreheads are touching. You don't know what comes to you, but this has to be said. This feeling has to be let out. Not after, not tomorrow. Now. Maybe it's the fact that you saw death for the very first time. You just need to let him know “You're my home.”

×

@chloe-skywalker @dpaccione @dreamin-of-dacre @funeral-7 @uncookspaget @youhavemyfantasticbeasts @halloweenbitch2764 @redlovett @multific @shinydixon @nikkixostan @clockworkballerina @nope-thanks

[uesugi-miu]

We've now come to an end~

Firstly let me say that I was so happy translating Kageie. I'm so proud of him, I'm so proud of being the Uesugi and I'm so proud of myself.

I will not put his other ends so...another 1-2 years in SLBP maybe...and when his MS released in SLBP, May anyone find missing details or additive informations or even alternate translation here.

Thanks to anyone who interested or like my translation. ❤️❤️❤️

--

:: Kageie MS #19 ( END ) ::

--

Miu : 「......Yes.」

Kageie : 「Babbling again huh, Yocchan.」

Miu : 「Are you fine with it?」

Kageie : 「With what?」

Miu : 「About Matsumoto-san...I heard you stop him from leaving......」

Kageie : 「So you heard that too...Really, Yocchan is such a pain......」

Kageie-san steps on his long shadow, lets his feeling show with a sudden smile.

He's seemingly sad but acts just like he's already get over it.

Kageie : 「In this world, people whose parents were killed is not only me. You too. Didn't your farther die in the battlefield?」

Miu : 「That's correct but......」

My dad was not killed before my very eyes......

The sorrow somehow remains in my heart but still, I have my mom and also Yahiko.

My words just can't get out of my mouth. Kageie-san senses it so he looks at me and nods.

Kageie : 「If you pity me, stop it. It's common thing, happened in every corner in the world such this. There's nothing special about it.」

Miu : 「......It may happen everyday but for someone in the family...each and every life is special, isn't it? Your parents and your brother too...For Kageie-san, their lives are irreplaceable, isn't that what you feel?」

( That's why even now, he still holds his brother's amulet so dear and also built that gravestone. )

Kageie : 「......」

Kageie-san says no more. He's only coughing to clear his throat once then giving me a grin and uses one of his hand tousles my hair affectionately.

( Kageie-san...... )

He says nothing at all but even so I can perceive that our feeling communicated.

This person's heart that I never seems to understand. I know now that I've already gotten through even if it's just a little.

( That alone is enough...I'll keep getting closer, little by little, as long as I'll get to know more...... )

I stick even closer, try never to let our two shadows separated. Kageie-san also holds my hand, enveloping mine in his.

.

.

At the alleyway before reaching the mansion, we see small shadows.

( Eh? There...those kids...... )

Those kids that closed to Kageie-san.

They're crouching down, forming a circle as they're setting up strategy.

When they noticed us, they stand and move our way rapidly.

( Urgh...What will they do now...... )

Unconsciously, I put myself on guard. Since last time, they came to throw stones at the mansion's wall. Kageie-san's awared of the hole in the wall too.

The children stand before us and holding out their hands without any hesitation.

Within those small hands are...cucumbers, eggplants and many vegetables.

Kageie : 「Why...all these.」

Boy 1 : 「As an apology.」

Kageie : 「What apology?」

Boy 1 : 「Our dads told us to apologize because we all treated you as a traitor......」

Boy 2 : 「Even though I knew Kageie is a good guy but I...I still doubted you. Please forgive me!」

Girl 1 : 「Please forgive us!」

Everyone bows down their heads all at once. Quietness goes on for a little while.

Kageie-san then addresses the children over their heads with his serious look.

Kageie : 「One condition required.」

Boy 1 : 「Eh......!」

The children raise up their faces one by one, showing their uneasy expressions. Gulping down their saliva, they wait for Kageie-san to continue.

Kageie : 「Come to play again. That's the condition.」

He lets out a broadly grin then one of the girl shakes her neck up and down enthusiastically.

Girl 1 : 「Umm! We'll come! We'll definitely come!」

Boy 1 : 「I'll make bamboo butterfly again! It will hop higher than last time!」

Kageie : 「I know. I know. Just stop being noisy and go home already. Your family are worried by now.」

Then the children gave him all their gifts so that one of his arm was full of vegetables.

Boy 1 : 「See ya, Kageie!」

Girl 1 : 「Bye~! See you tomorrow~!」

They ran off energeticly towards the setting sun but just a second later, a boy runs back with fast speed then he stops in front of me and fixing his gaze on me.

Miu : 「What's wrong hmm?」

Boy 1 : 「So to say, you weren't a guy! Are you Kageie's "Good girl"?」

Miu : 「 ! 」

The boy laughs mischievously and quickly runs away.

Heat rises straight up to my face.

( ......How come he's so mature for his age...... )

Kageie : 「......」

Kageie-san says nothing. He only smirks and stares maliciously at me.

.

.

『Good girl』......Whatever was said......our relationship has no progess though.

A moment before entering our individual bedding, we silently embrace one another.

Miu : 「......Good night.」

Kageie : 「Night.」

We exchange our good night and so...that's it...never a thing happens beyond this point......

.

.

After hearing Kageie-san breathes out his gentle sleep sound, I open the sliding door quietly to take a peek inside.

Kageie-san doesn't go out aimlessly anymore. I'm really really glad that he sleeps soundly just like this.

But......

Kageie : 「......」

In a corner of my heart, I'm also troubled with that face. He's sleeping so well that I cannot help but plunged into that thought.

Miu : 「......Even so he said 『tell me something about you which noone else knows』......」

Just after I finish my word, Kageie-san's eyes unexpectedly opened. He then turns over his body to me.

( Eh!? He was awaked!? )

Kageie : 「"Stop it", wasn't that what it meant......」

His whisper sounds very irritated so that I almost can't bear and feel like running away.

Miu : 「......I'm so sorry. You don't like it. You already told me so......」

Kageie : 「Huhhh......You got it wrong.」

He raises half of his body above the bedding then fixes his gaze my way.

Kageie : 「I...I had done terrible thing to you......or rather say, forcible.」

He said it sinfully so that I finally recall the incident.

( Terrible thing......perhaps that's when...... )

『Miu : 「Don't tell me......Kageie-san did that on purpose to make me reject you?」 』

( I see...so the truth is...he's trying to treasure me. )

I'm glad but at the same time feeling frustrated.

Miu : 「For me...that night when Kageie-san came back to the castle. When I felt your warmth on my skin, I'd experienced the real truth that Kageie-san is truly alive......It was such a great happiness so...more...I'd rather feel your life more......」

When I said it like that, Kageie-san's line of sight was loitering in midair, searching for a word to say. Just when his eyes catch mine again, he suddenly takes off his nightcloth.

Miu : 「Eh......」

Kageie : 「Really, I never think I'll be seduced by you.」

Miu : 「What of...seduce...I didn't......」

Kageie : 「What...You've just talked about that kind of thing, haven't you?」

Miu : 「That...kind of thing, is it......right.」

I was taken aback but Kageie-san smiles at me then slowly sets me down, peering into my eyes. His gaze is so tender yet filled with burning fire.

Boom. Boom. My heart pounds noisily.

Kageie : 「......If you will touch, all of me...is yours......」

He grips on my hand, leading it the way to touch his arms......his chest......

( So warm...... )

Sound of his heartbeat circulated along with his body warmth certainly help me to acknowledge how true he's breathing in life.

Kageie : 「Come now.」

This time, he takes both of my arms, wrapping around his neck.

Our faces draw closer. Naturally, our lips starting to touch then they become deeply connected, deeply entwined, savoring each other. Flame is now burning gradually inside our mouths, taking on even more heat.

Miu : 「............tsu............」

Our lips slightly apart just to blend in again and again.

Before I know it, my obi was untied and not even a second delay, my skin was exposed to the night air.

His skilful hand slips in, toying with my body. Sweet ache's flooding into me, coaxing me to moan in high voice.

Kageie : 「Very good......more, your voice......let me hear it more.」

He burns me feverishly. Without stopping, his body heat fills into me at a stretch.

Kageie : 「Here too.」

Again my hands was led, crawling, caressing over his sturdy body. The area between his eyebrows slightly crumpled everytime our movements match.

Kageie : 「......You're amazing......better than I imagine......」

Miu : 「Kageie-san......」

Kageie : 「......Un.......tsu......Miu......」

Low breath he's leaking out together with his painful groan is so sexy.

( Ah...Ahh......I will never ever want to let go of this man...... )

I wish, night time that was dark and long will turn itself into something gentle and affectionate for him......

I secretly make a prayer just when our overlapping bodies delicatedly engraved as one.

[loganofthenorth]

6, 15

I'll start with 15, cause six is several stories

15: What's your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community: My favourite thing is that because LGBTQIA relationships don't fit the problematic rules that straight relationships tend to follow, the community has taken those rules, tossed them away, and made completely new ones.

Back when I thought I was straight, I didn't want to be in a relationship because everything that seemed 'good' about a straight relationship I was told wasn't realistic and therefore relationships seemed to be more stress than they are worth. Now, thanks to the LGBTQ+ community, I know that relationships are about communication and mutual trust and respect, not just sex and worrying about being cheated on. I know that they're about two or more people working together to help each other get through life, to help each other feel comforted and safe and loved in whatever way feels right to them. Now I see the beauty in love instead of all the drama and stress, and it gives me hope that if I ever get the opportunity, I can give love a chance again.

Now for 6: 'What made you realize the current labels that fit you'

Okay, so, my parents have always been allies to the community. My mother is unlabelled but has been with guys and girls alike, and my father has bi wife energy. I should show him that song some time he'd probably love it. Anywho, my parents always raised me to believe in my own beliefs rather than teaching me theirs. Though somehow all the times they tried to explain LGBTQ+ things to me, it went right over my head. I don't know how or why, but I didn't know that it was a possibility for guys to like guys and girls to like girls until I heard 'she keeps me warm' on the radio and I asked Mom who the 'she' was, and Mom explained that it was the singer's girlfriend. The singer was a girl, so I had many questions.

I always assumed a guy sang 'I kiss the girl and I liked it'

Tbh sometimes I look back at my childhood and how obvious it was that girls liking girls and guys liking guys was a thing, it makes me wonder if I was being oblivious on purpose. Then again, I mainly learned how the world worked from tv, so since it didn't fit what tv was telling me, I guess I tuned it out or explained it with those rules.

Cause I'm Autistic, so I make rules that I think the world follows and then I perceive everything within those rules. Then when I learn the rules are wrong, I have to tear them down and rebuild them.

What's funny is that I became an active member of the LGBTQ+ community by accident. By then I knew it existed but I only knew what Gay and Lesbian meant until my Mom had a friend that was trans then I knew what trans was. I didn't know that there was a whole thing about LGBTQ+ rights, the only civil rights battles I knew about were the POC ones (which I thought at the time that those were settled a long time ago and racism was declared to be wrong. Sadly, that was my own light skinned ignorance. But that's another thing.) and the Autistic one that I thought I invented because I was in a segregated program.

That's another thing, due to being Autistic, I spent most of my childhood being isolated from the world. I was in six person classrooms, didn't get a full education, and at home my family was extremely introverted while I was extroverted so I initiated a good majority of interactions with my family. So I was very much living under a rock, looking at the world through a very limited lense.

So anyways, I followed a page on Facebook that I thought was for Autism. Because Mom told me that rainbow was a better colour for Autism than blue and the page was just called 'Equality House.' So I followed it, and after that, I started learning all about LGBTQ+. Then it became a special interest. And that, my friends, is how I began identifying as a 'Straight Ally'

So this is all after my childhood best friend went to High School, and I was a grade younger so I had to spend that year alone. Then I proceeded to change schools because I realized I was never going to be able to get out of the program I was in because they were getting more funding for me to be in there.

So I changed schools, continued learning about the LGBTQ community, learnt more about it from people in the Drama Club I was in (which, I made them feel really uncomfortable because of my ignorance on it 😅 I wish that someone could have identified me as a baby gay that thought she was straight but I understand why I was just a bad straight ally to them.) and eventually I start to think more about it.

See, the reason I thought I was straight, was because I never had a crush on a girl, I only had crushes on guys. However, my crushes on guys were always weird. It was very hard for me to understand why guys were attractive, especially when my really amazing and pretty friends were attracted to absolute trash bags of boys. Though when a guy followed the rules of what tv said was attractive, and when I saw the potential for a live story, I was able to convince myself to have a crush.

(Writing this is making me question if I'm a lesbian again *sighs* but anyways)

So obviously, if girls liking girls didn't appear often on tv, that algorithm I made in my brain for trying to find opportunities for true love at twelve-fifteen years old wouldn't fit it.

And there were a couple of times that I managed to get a boyfriend, but the 'feelings' I had for them would be gone in two days and suddenly I'd feel really uncomfortable.

...

Y'all might be reading me realizing I'm a lesbian but anyways

So I was questioning if I was Bi because guess what? Tv started including girls liking girls! And I was really really hyped about that, like, I saw myself in those relationships way more than the straight people ones.

So I started questioning if I was bi

But I couldn't be Bi cause I never had a crush on a girl, and I didn't want to invade a community that didn't belong to me if I was wrong

Then one day, when I was feeling particularly lonely due to a lack of friends at my new school and a lot of defence mechanisms from ✨trauma✨ I got a homesick kind of feeling and started looking at the face book accounts of my old friends

I got to my best friend's account, and I just couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful she was

Then I started to reflect on my friendship with her, how I always wanted more from our friendship but thought I was just being clingy, how I let her go because I knew I was never going to get whatever it was I wanted from her, how I thought she was the kindest most amazing person in the world. I thought about the time I literally told her that if I were a guy I'd date her, and thought about how confused I was that she found it so hard to get a boyfriend.

I thought I wanted to be her, but I didn't.

I had feelings for her

So I started identifying as Bi

But after that, I still continued to question my sexuality. Because I still had that mindset of: "Oh well I had crushes on guys" and sometimes I do genuinely think guys are attractive. Sometimes sexual attraction just doesn't come to me for either gender, sometimes it does. Same with romantic attraction, it just seems to turn on and off. So I said on Tumblr that I'm probably sexuality fluid if there's a term for that, and then I was informed that abrosexual is a thing. Now I identify as that.

Though again this post is definitely starting to sound like a Lesbian origin story

I guess I've always had this mindset that lesbians always just knew they were gay. Like if you weren't identifying as Lesbian you were closeted, which meant you knew but weren't telling anyone. So since I thought all lesbians just knew for absolute certainty that they were lesbian, I was afraid I'd be intruding if I identified as one.

I did try the lesbian label for a bit but switched back to bi, I'm really not sure which label I feel more comfortable with. I'm not sure what causes me now to hesitate with the lesbian label.

It also doesn't help that I have yet to be in a relationship with a girl. Like I've had several crushes on girls since I realized I was Bi, crushes that felt way more genuine and far less forced and anxiety inducing than my crushes on guys. Problem there is finding out if the girl is lgbtq+ before you even begin the process of does she like me back. I've also been attracted to non binary people as well, since I've been interacting with them a lot more. But until I actually date a girl, I guess I won't really know if I'm lesbian or if I just feel that anxiety with dating in general, in which case I guess I'd be aromantic? Though I love romance, and get flustered by it, but I've only been able to really experience it through role playing or fiction. So it's hard to tell.

Anywho, that's my story with sexuality, now time for gender.

I'm a lot more satisfied with my current gender identity, though sometimes I wonder if I'm non binary, but I don't feel gender dysphoria so I don't know. I identify as a Demi girl because of a Tik Tok that described being a Demi girl as 'being a girl in the same way a dandelion is a weed.' She explained it and the whole thing really resonated with me, and I'm the most comfortable with She/They pronouns.

Like I feel really comfortable being feminine but I also feel comfortable being masculine or both or neither. I never really felt much attachment to being female, but I've never felt repulsed by it or anything like that either. I like being female, even though I don't fit the image I think of when I say 'woman'.

Another thing I heard on Tik Tok is: My gender is what you get when you order 'girl' from wish. Because, yeah, it's girl, but there's something off about it.

So yeah, that's my story with gender and sexuality, a story that's probably still going and will probably only end if I find a relationship I feel happy in or if I die so we'll see what happens first I guess 😅

[mksc77]

For a couple of weeks, Sharon filled her days with sipping a couple of mugs of coffee on the porch and getting things done around the house in the mornings, enjoying the pool in the afternoons, and reading in the swing in the evenings once dinner was in the oven. It was a much-needed break after retiring, her honeymoon, and visiting her parents, but she tired of it fairly quickly, just as she'd known she would. On a Monday in June, she was enjoying her last day of idleness, as she planned to go to St. Joseph's the next morning to inquire about volunteer opportunities. For today, she was floating around in the pool with her book and Captain Morgan. She felt like she'd read more in the last few weeks than in her entire life, but she wasn't complaining. The weather had been mostly in the seventies and low eighties, so it hadn't been too hot. She had music playing from the porch, and she never knew if it was music that made her want a drink or alcohol that made her want good music, but her rum and pineapple juice with a splash of cranberry and sprite was melding pretty well with John Mellencamp. She hadn't made a habit of drinking during the day, but she'd allowed herself a couple of light drinks two or three afternoons a week.

The winter days, they last forever

And the weekends went by so quick

Went ridin' around this little country town

We were goin' nuts, girl, out in the sticks

One night me with my big mouth

A couple guys had to put me in my place

When I see those guys these days

We just laugh and say do you remember when

That's when a smoke was a smoke

And groovin' was groovin'

And dancin' meant everything

We were young and we were improvin'

Laughin' laughin' with our friends

Holding hands meant somethin' baby

Outside the club "Cherry Bomb"

Our hearts were really pumpin'

Say yeah yeah yeah

Say yeah yeah yeah

Seventeen has turned thirty-five

I'm surprised that we're still livin'

If we've done any wrong

I hope that we're forgiven

Got a few kids of my own

And some days I still don't know what to do

I hope that they're not laughin' too loud

When they hear me talkin'

Like this to you

Emily came out of the house, dressed in her swimsuit, and got on another float in the pool. At almost seven months, she was getting more uncomfortable, but a float in the pool usually did the trick. She and Emmett hadn't wanted to rush to get married before the baby was born, so they'd set the date for December. It didn't really matter, as far as the church was concerned, but Emily wanted them to be married before the baby was baptized. "Blair just called, and she and our other high school friends want to give me a baby shower. She told me to go ahead and start thinking about dates for a wedding shower, too."

Sharon looked over at Emily and noticed that she didn't seem too happy about it. "Your friends want to give you a couple of showers? That sounds just awful!" She said, with mock sympathy.

Emily rolled her eyes. "I just feel like I'm doing this all in the wrong order. I don't feel like I've done anything wrong, but with the wedding and the baby getting more real, I kind of wish we'd just gone ahead and planned a quick wedding before the baby came."

"Em, there was no need for you guys to do that. Unlike me, I'm sure this will be your only wedding." Sharon gave her a wry smile and sipped her drink. "You should enjoy it. You and Emmett are giving this baby a family that loves her and will take care of her, and that's all that matters. The order in which you do this isn't important."

"I know, but with the showers that are being planned and everything, it's just making me more aware of the fact that I'm having a baby before I'm married. Everyone's been great about it, and I haven't really thought much about it until now, but it just seems off or something."

Sharon was a little surprised that Emily was starting to feel the old Catholic Guilt, but she understood. "Once things pick up and you don't have time to overthink everything, I think you'll feel better about it. This in-between stage is unsettling, in general, and I know you've never liked change."

Emily nodded. "I think you're right. Thanks, Mom."

"You're welcome." Sharon placed her drink beside the pool and flipped over to lie on her stomach. Despite slathering herself with sunscreen every day, she was still getting a little bit of a tan. Any skin damage she had from the sun had probably mostly happened during the baby oil and iodine days of her teenaged years and young adulthood, anyway, when the sun's rays weren't thought to be anything but healthy. She wasn't in the pool for the purpose of tanning, but she loved to be in the water and feel the sun soaking into her skin. She'd never been much of a swimmer for exercise, but she'd been making herself swim a few laps most afternoons. Once she got herself settled into a more productive routine, she planned to take either morning or evening walks around the neighborhood, but she'd stick with floating around the pool for now.

A couple of hours later, with dinner in the oven, Sharon assumed her evening perch in the swing with her book and a glass of wine. Andy came home soon after that and joined her on the porch. "Am I just going to have to get used to being a swing widow?" He teased. Their evening dynamics had definitely changed since they moved. At the condo, Sharon sometimes sat on the balcony for a while in the evenings after watering the flowers, but she was still usually inside for most of the evenings. Now, she usually went inside just long enough to eat dinner and help clean the kitchen before going straight back to the porch.

"You can always come out here," Sharon pointed out.

"But the game will be on in there," Andy protested.

"True..." Sharon looked around. "We should put a TV out here. It would be nice to watch football out here this Fall."

"Then you'd never go inside." Andy pecked her on the lips. "How was your day?"

"It was nice, but I'm ready to get out of the house. I'm going to start at church tomorrow, but I think I'd like to pick one or two places and stick with them for a while instead of doing things here and there like the people at church do. I know they'll be able to steer me in the right direction, though." Sharon closed her book. "What about you? Is Captain Hernandez any better?"

Andy heaved a dramatic sigh. "She sent my paperwork back three times before it was finally good enough for her! And I thought you were a perfectionist."

Sharon had been a stickler about paperwork at the beginning, but she quickly learned to appreciate the talents her team had in other areas of investigations and gave up on perfect paperwork from them. "She'll learn to pick her battles, just like I did."

"Pick your battles? You sound like you're talking about toddlers!" Andy whined.

"Well, some days I felt like I was dealing with toddlers." Sharon kissed Andy and went inside to check on dinner, and Andy went inside to change clothes. Sharon peeked into the living room first, and Emily was watching TV with a jar of pickles in her lap. Sharon still wasn't used to Emily not being pencil-thin. Her face had filled out a little, and her legs were actually a little bigger than twigs. "Dinner will be ready soon...By the time this baby comes, I'm going to forget what you look like without a jar of pickles in your hand!"

"I know, right? If it's not pickles, it's watermelon. At least I'm not craving something terribly unhealthy."

Sharon nodded. "Yeah, like the strawberry ice cream that's still on my thighs thirty-five years later."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Mom, your legs are, like, perfect."

"They're not perfect, but I'll take it.”

The rest is on ff.net

[ageofevermore]

the full moon is coming videos here , here

other miscellaneous irl blurbs here

enjoy 6k+ words of me getting carried away, then abruptly ending this blurb

Emma was slightly uneasy, fueled with maternal anxieties as she sipped on a chilled water bottle. She had swiped it from Sprayberry's clutches minutes ago, and the poor boy had yet to realize it. They were all severely jet-lagged, hardly awake yet but managing with their ever growing excitement. Her hand was clutched in Ellery's, a grin on her face as the two of them chattered endlessly. They had caught the same flight over to France, but even spending so many hours in a confined space proved to do them no harm. Dylan had tuned them out hours ago, using the baby as an excuse to be distracted. Emma hadn't fought him much on that, thankful to have a few hours to herself while her best friend and Dylan fussed over the five month old.

To say that luxury was short lived was majorly overlooked. The minute they landed Dylan and Ellery were ushered off to another section of the airport, Emma and Logan being led to customs. The baby had been fussy for hours after that, and despite Logan tagging along to help out, nothing had calmed Everly besides her mothers attentive touch. Emma was officially running on four hours of sleep, and she wasn't sure how her eyelids even managed to stay open.

She had left Logan and Everly in the hotel room just a few blocks from the convention center earlier that morning, pre-ordering her friend a coffee as a gesture of thanks. Not every twenty-year-old jumped at the chance of taking a fifteen hour flight to France only to be a babysitter.

"Makeup did a good job." Ellery teased, laughing when Emma dug her fingertips into her sides, a taunting grin on her face that had them both in fits of delirious laughter. They pulled apart quickly after, rummaging through the pile of French candies and snacks.

When they got the two minute signal, both girls grabbed a handful of hard candy, letting it fall into their mouths without much care. Dylan had witnessed it occur, rolling his eyes at his sister and his best, maybe more then friend, friend.

They had a steady thing going since well before Everly's birth, but only after did Dylan truly prove he wasn't just in it for the chase. He had stayed over on nights when Emma had begged him to just go home and be a normal kid on her behalf. He had changed diapers at three in the morning, and sat through breastfeeding's at four without complaint. He had been her rock for months now, and steadily both of them were craving more.

"How are you late?" Emma asked Holland around a mouthful of pastel candy, "Isn't your hotel the closest?" Holland wrinkled her nose at the sight, painfully accustomed to Emma's delirious habits.

"We got lost." Holland exclaimed, "Took a left when we should have went straight, and then when we should have made a right we went straight."

Emma rolled her eyes, swallowing the mouthful of candy before bringing Holland in for a tight hug. She hadn't seen much of the redhead in recent months, being cooped up in her apartment with Dylan and occasionally her friends from back in Jersey. She was taking her time settling into the whole parenting routine, but she would never miss an opportunity for fan interaction.

When they were lined up to start heading out, Sprayberry had finally noticed Emma clutching his water bottle, the sharpie painted cap rubbing off on her fingertips as she fiddled with it. He snatched it back, taking a swig, before handing it back.

"Could've just asked." He teased.

"That wouldn't have been as fun. Besides, you're oblivious when your tired." Emma concluded, cheekily taking another sip of the water and finishing it off. She threw it out, having just enough time to smooth down her shirt before they were being called out on stage.

Ryan went out first, then Dylan, Ellery, Megan, Emma, Crystal, Holland, and Shelley. It was a line-up of one badass women after another, which didn't happen very often in the land of teen wolf conventions. The show wasn't totally male dominated, but the numbers were slightly uneven when it came to promotion.

Emma took her seat between Crystal and Megan, smiling widely at the two. Crystal gave her hands a few squeezes before dropping them and grabbing the water bottle given to her by a stagehand.

Emma pulled out her phone, sending Logan a text as the moderator asked Crystal, Megan, and Ellery about their experience and exposure to France. She was answered immediately with a picture of her munchkin. The bright blue eyes of her baby were slowly earning speckles of darker blue and brown, but her large gummy grin was still the same even behind a pacifier. Her tan onesie decorated with skin tone colored rainbows was undone at the bottom, a recent habit Everly was getting into.

Crystal had leaned over just in time to see the picture, cooing in Emma's ear as she typed out a response before putting her phone away, giving the fans her undivided attention. She looked up at Crystal with a grin, glad to be reunited with the girl.

It wasn't long before they were getting into fan questions, and the interpreter was listening intently. "She wants to know what you miss the most."

"The long hours of work. I miss that, seriously." Dylan exclaimed after a moment of his drawn out um, "I miss having purpose." He joked, Emma couldn't help but roll her eyes at him, although she did miss the long nights. Anytime you created relationships on set and then put them to the test during fraturdays or fifteen hour shoots was always exhilarating.

"People." Holland sang, "I think you miss the people, I miss JR and Ian acting like they're an old married couple." Holland paused when the crowd erupted into screams, a smile breaking her lips. "Right, you know what I'm taking about? I genuinely actually miss that."

Emma grinned, nodding her head at the many memories of JR and Ian's bickering.

"I miss school. During night shots, taking math tests at three in the morning. It sounds like absolute torture, and it was, many tears were shed in that room, but it was always unofficial crackhead shit. I think I gave Spray a concussion one time." Emma grinned, biting down on her bottom lip when laughter arose at her answer. Sprayberry didn't miss a beat though, having been waiting for this moment for at least three years.

It was nearly four in the morning during season six, the both of then were slowly finishing up their senior year, and through delirium they'd decided yoga would be a good idea. They had gotten half way through the first pose before Emma slipped off of his shoulders and the both of them tumbled to the ground. Jeff hadn't let them in the room together for nearly a month after that.

"You did! I was out of choreo for a week." He fed into the microphone.

"It wasn't a life threatening injury, you're fine." She rolled her eyes, before looking at the crowd who. The majority was teenage girls, and they were all collectively giggling at the banter. "He's fine."

Emma turned her head, sticking her tongue out at Sprayberry before she fell back in her seat laughing. Their dynamic had never changed, though being surrounded by old friends had brought out a spark that had been slowly fading with time and adulthood.

"Shelley, would you like to say something?" The moderator questioned, taking Shelley's elaborate hand gestures as her wanting to say something. Emma grinned at the shocked expression on her face before she covered it up.

"The people." She mused, "I miss the people, I miss catching up with them. I miss you guys." Shelley smiled earning cheers to go around the room.

Emma looked down at her phone, seeing the screen light up beneath her leg. From the way it was positioned she could see that it was Logan sending her pictures, she could only assume Everly was being a little shit and using her time away from Emma to meet new milestones.

"Hi, um, what was your favorite scene to film?" A fan asked. Emma had missed this, it hadn't been too long since she'd had this kind of exposure, but it wasn't as painfully frequent as it once was. Emma could never find a medium she liked, always bending more towards a side then a middle.

"My favorite scenes to film were also the worst scenes to film, whenever we had huge ensemble because they would take forever. But it was also fun because everyone was in the scene, so there was a lot of goofing off and having fun. But you would shoot certain scenes for weeks, it felt like, at least days, but your at least having fun with the same people, just like up here. We can all have fun when we're not being professional."

Dylan leaned over the look in his blue eyes gleaming as he knew his voice wouldn't be carried far into the audience because he didn't have a mic, "Do you know how to be professional?"

It was a joke from years ago, one that hadn't been brought up in at least a few months. Emma grinned leaning forward just the same, the glint in her eyes dangerous with energy, "I'll cut your balls off."

The both of them laughed as they leaned back. They weren't sure why that had been so funny, but filming season four had lead to it's creation one morning between Tuesday and Wednesday. Emma was pretty she had been nearly asleep with her head in Sprayberry's lap when he made the joke, and her groggy response had been a tad violent.

Megan was still laughing when she started explaining her answer, being handed a microphone from Holland so the audience could hear her. Crystal glanced over at Emma, sharing a meaningful look with the girl. She was always very put together during panels, the least likely of the cast to go off on wild rants of what happened behind the scenes.

"Yeah that being said, I love to do all my own stunts. Although, that being said, I don't do all my own stunts, my stunt double was amazing, but I kind of love being physical especially because most of those scenes are at night, so it wakes you up it makes you be very aware. But, yeah, those were my favorite scenes. The stunt work, and also, so this question comes up a lot and were asked a lot, and every single time that I'm asked I feel like my scenes always change, and I just thought about the scene in the pilot Holland with you and Emma, at the lacrosse game?" Crystal smiled, at the memory that resurfaced. The pilot was so long ago, filmed nearly nine years ago, but memories were still so vivid.

"Oh yeah." Holland grinned, Emma smiled at the memory.

"You were so brilliant in that scene." Crystal grinned, "But it was the first time that we got to hang out as like normal people. I don't know, it was a great scene with you guys." She grinned, making heart pumping motions with her hands when the crowd awed.

"During that scene about lacrosse I was just talking about getting fired before i had basically even been hired, like, i just hope i make it for a second season, you don't understand, you don't understand. So that's what we were -- that's what I was complaining to Crystal and Em about in the bleachers during that scene." Holland laughed, "But yeah that was a fun scene."

"It was cold too!" Emma added, "Holland and I were in mini skirts and booty shorts."

"It was so cold." Holland agreed, "And, this is a zinger, Atlanta hadn't had a lot of production at that point so there's certain tricks when your filming in cold weather to wear like under lays, and we didn't have those under layers. So we were so bitterly cold during our pilot." Holland looked over at Crystal who was nodding along to her story, a smile breaking her lips when another memory struck Holland, "And our trailer caught on fire, hair and makeup, so we had to get the hell out of dodge."

Shelley grabbed the microphone from Holland a blank gleam in her eyes, "Shit, I was listening to you guys I haven't been thinking. I really enjoy, I'll say since it's who I basically started working with, Dylan O'Brien--" The crowd went up into cheers at just the mention of his name and Emma grinned, "Yeah, that was really my first taste of Teen Wolf and he was just a great scene partner, and obviously we had so much fun, to much fun. I think we laughed, you know,  mostly when you're not supposed to. But you know, our scenes always turned out different then I think either of us expected, and there was always some cool, weird thing that would happen, I don't know." Shelley waved off her answer, clearly having initially pulled it from her ass with being on the spot.

"Ellery, Emma, do you have anything?" The moderator asked so she knew if she could begin translating what what already been said.

"I like the scene in Motel California with Ro, Posey," Emma stressed, she had referred to him as Ro, or Rosie multiple times before, but it wasn't an obvious give away that she was referring to Tyler and that often slipped her mind. "When Ellie says she loves him, that was a sweet moment. I don't know that's the only one I can remember, I blocked the first three seasons out and then season six was overrun with spiders."

Ellery had started talking before she was even offered a microphone, her soft voice picking up when Dylan shoved on into her hands. "We had to do a scene in my episode, where we were like fighting. We had to like, get in each others face, I don't think you got it, but it was like really funny."

"Like real life." Shelley interjected.

"Yeah. Exactly! Cause we don't really fight," Sprayberry shrugged his shoulders, and Ellery rolled her eyes in annoyance, "Maybe a little bit, maybe sometimes. It was fun though, cause we actually felt like real siblings."

Dylan grabbed the microphone from Ellery, his lips pinching upwards in a smirk. "We never feel like we're siblings unless we're on a TV show." Emma rolled his words, knowing full well that Dylan adored his little sister more then anything else in the world, although she had an itching suspicion that her baby was beginning to take Ellery's place. "Yeah that was fun because they let us improve a lot which was cool. Um, my favorite scenes are the easy ones. No, uh, the i fell in a hole scene is really popular, I guess. That's one of my favorite scenes that i did film because that started a whole new part of my character, and that opened up the comedic side of my character because before that I was just playing angry, and emotional all the time, and it got kind of tiring, and if by doing that it allowed people to see my character in a different light..."

Emma had tried to follow Spray's words, but she drifted off in thought when he phone buzzed again. Was it Everly? She was sure Logan would have called or gotten into contact with her PA for the day, but she couldn't help but worry. She had taken Everly all over, but never had they been separated in a foreign country. Mom guilt was beginning to eat her up inside, but she forced a smile onto he lips and took a peak down at her phone. She breathed out a sigh, seeing that it was just a picture of Everly, her hands and knees pressed to the floor as she mastered the art of crawling.

"If there had been a season seven, would you have wanted to be in it?" The moderator translated. It was a unanimous answer instantly, heads bobbing and yes's being mumbled into the microphones.

"Do you have any new projects?"

Dylan looked around, seeing that everyone was busy in their own little side conversation so he began to mumble before finding an answer, "Do you guys know Hulu?"

"Light as a feather!" A girl yelled from the audience, attempting to do an American accent but sounding overly southern. Emma giggled, pushing a few strands of hair from her eyes before looking over towards Dylan.

He went over what it was, looking between Ellery and Ryan every few words. He never was good at press, which made Emma wonder why he ranted and raved about it after every convention.

"Anybody else?"

Emma accepted the microphone from Shelley, "I have a movie called After out next year. That's all I can say."

The stage went silent once more, the remaining actors around Emma all either happily our of work or actively looking. "Anyone else have new projects they would like to talk about?"

"No." Shelley exclaimed, "We're retired."

The moderator began to translate when Emma pinched her eyebrows together, turning towards Megan with a small frown, "You have a project." She nudged her gently, her lips turning upwards into a smirk when Megan began to fiddle with her fingers.

Megan had collected a rainstorm of applause for her new gig on Charmed, and Emma smiled, poking at the girl with a taunting grin. Megan laughed and the two fell into each other, whispering about nonsense while the panel moderator directed attention to Shelley.

"Ryan just reminded me about a role I've been on hold for, um, but it's to play a former beauty queen and former addict, so fingers crossed."

"True life story." He mumbled into the mic, watching Shelley's cheeks heat up.

"Miss Teen USA 2004." Emma projected, grinning widely when Shelley flipped her off. That had been a constantly running joke between them for years, she couldn't help but break away into little giggles and grins.

"It's based on my life." She admitted, "I'm not a former addict though." Shelley mimicked downing a glass of alcohol and Emma laughed loudly, mumbling an apology as she giggled into her knees.  

The next question was about their preferred favorite season, and the audience had gone into a fit of sadness after Crystal answer 3b. Emma frowned as well, recalling the hardships they had all went through while filming and bringing to life such a traumatic event. Her own character, Ellie, had been a wreck for nearly an entire season to follow. It was an arc Emma loved playing out, having been in that position one to many times before facing the death of a multiple loved ones, but it had also put a pause on the independent women her character was becoming.

She had answered with season four, for that exact reasoning, and than handed the microphone off to Megan. She laughed when Megan answered with season 3b and 4, and then went on about how those seasons were the tipping point when the fandom hated her for taking Derek away.

Dylan grabbed the microphone from Ellery after she answered season 6b by default. "I swear to god, if you don't say season five!" She warned.

"I liked doing 6A and 6B." Emma gasped at his answer, leaning forward to grab at the the small multi-colored hard candies, pelting them towards him aggressively. They showered down on him and Ellery, and the latter of the pair laughed loudly.

Dylan threw the candy back at Emma, his smile wide and taunting as the girl flipped him off with a playful glare. "Why season six?" She demanded to know. "It was literally full of spiders."

DAY 2

Emma had gotten more sleep tonight, thankfully. She hadn't gone to the party with the rest of the cast, instead turning in for a quiet night in her hotel room with her baby and best friend. Logan had been more then happy to have Emma with her as the two of them watched Disney movies, hardly caring that although their excuse for watching children's movies was the baby in the room, Everly was more interested in her feet then she was Tinkerbell and Elsa.

She was in between Holland and Sprayberry for the group panel that morning, sipping on a Starbucks refresher while the moderator asked about the party. Logan had gotten up with Everly just before six thirty, surprising Emma with a few extra minutes of sleep and a refreshing wakeup call.

Dylan reached for the cup, eyeing the light pink liquid. He had ordered for Emma many times before, usually supplying the younger girl with a strawberry lemonade but her drink was evolving by the month it seemed. Emma rolled her eyes playfully, handing the cup to Dylan and watching as her quizfully took a sip. He scrunched his nose up at first, but went in for another gulp and decided it wasn't as bad as he initially thought.

When asked what their favorite line was, the answers were immediate without any need to think, "Deer." Shelley exclaimed.

"A girls gotta eat."

"I fell in a hole."

Emma couldn't help but giggle at the memory, grabbing the microphone from Dylan's hand, "Always." She turned to give the microphone to Holland, sending the redhead a wink considering that line was almost always directed towards her.

"What the hell is a Stiles."

"We protect those who cannot protect themselves."

Ellery's answer was lame, but in the blondes defense she had only made an appearance in one episode. Emma just grinned, to busy making weird faces at Dylan through her impressive fit of energy. She had slept great considering the three am feeding, as well as being in an entirely different country and a hotel bed.

The two of them weren't paying as much attention as they should've been, breaking out into grins when they finally pulled their attention from their moment of weird expressions to listen to the moderator.

Froy had answered the question first, not missing a beat when he lifted the microphone to his mouth and claimed that in his free time he liked to do auditions for other projects. Shelley praised his efforts, her and Emma sharing a mutual distaste for the audition process. Most actors hated auditioning, feeling unnatural and like a ridiculed prop, but it was a necessary evil most times. Emma was convinced there was no better news then when her agent calls and tells her about a role she would only have to chemistry read for.

"What we like to do?" Ryan asked, "I like to get drunk and play with cats." He easily shrugged at the answer and Emma had to hide her grin. She had witnessed a hungover Ryan playing with animals on many occasions, and the sight never failed to be adorable.

It was no shock to Emma when Ellery answered wrestling and Crystal answered cooking. It had been a few weeks since she'd managed to take the drive to Crystal's place, but almost every night she was sent a new recipe that she said she would try and almost never did. Crystal knew this of course, but she also knew although Emma lied through her teeth about commitment, she enjoyed the texts and thought of somebody having her on their mind.

"Reading, hiking, I like the outdoors, the mountains in particular. So, I'll do a lot of audio books when I hike, and I camp. I love camping, so that's usually where I am." Holland grinned before handing the microphone off to Emma.

"I love sleeping." She exclaimed, a goofy grin on her face at the idea. "Usually, I'm hanging out with my baby, or this goon. Sometimes I'll take a random dance class." She nudged a thumb at Dylan, the two of them practically roommates. It wasn't often that Emma spent the night alone with Everly, having to force Dylan back to his own house so there was at least a small reason for him to be paying monthly bills and utilities.

She handed the microphone to Dylan, smiling softly at him before taking another sip of her drink. The way Dylan was sitting looked either genius level comfortable or completely horrible for his joints. She wouldn't be surprise if in a few minutes he'd start complaining about his tailbone or his back, but for the moment he was completely spaced out thinking of an answer.

"Um, I like doing Muay Thai, and wrestling, and I like reading. And um, spending time with this goon." He returned the favor, his grin sheepish when he snapped his gaze to Emma who was playfully rolling her eyes and kicking at his leg with her vans covered foot. Neither one of them missed the way Shelley excitedly gasped at their answers. The pair couldn't go a day without Shelley asking if they'd made it official yet.

Emma was sure she wouldn't say no if Dylan asked, but the guilt of tying him down with a kid at twenty-years-old was a lot of process. She was still only nineteen, they had so much life to live.

Megan took the microphone from Dylan, "Exercising. I just got into yoga, I also just got into Barry's bootcamp which is some intense stuff, and I also just also, also just also, I'm really tired, um, I got into cooking as well, I got into hors d'oeuvres, just getting all into that. And yeah, auditioning. I hate it, but it's what I do in my free time."

"Lucky." Shelley exclaimed when she grabbed the microphone, Emma laughed, shaking her head at the girl. They'd spent many nights curled up on Shelley's bed, or in Emma's, just talking about what the future held for them creatively. It wasn't like their opportunities were limited, rather the work offered way dry. It was either to far fetched from themselves, to boringly similar, or a role to close to one they'd played before. "I love to dance, and uh, I mean, Spanish, duolingo my app."

Emma and Dylan were once again in their own world. They were energized on sleep, Dylan getting an extra boost from the coffee he sipped tenderly. Emma had never really gotten into drinking it, though Holland had tried on multiple occasions to pass her an americano while on set. Kicking at him a little to hard, Emma flinched when she missed his leg and instead rammed her foot into the leg of his chair.

Sprayberry doubled over in laughter whilst Emma pouted, attempting to nurse the ache in her toes but distracting herself with the Starbucks refresher in her hands. She hadn't been kicking him all that hard, just little taps that would become annoying, which was her goal, but apparently the chair had other opinions of her pestering.

The next question was about what era they'd like the live in. Emma's answer hadn't changed since she was seven years old, the nineties being a time she would have liked to experience, or at least remember, because she couldn't deny that she did technically live during them, although it was as an infant.

"The sixties." Shelley answered.

"Considering my ancestry, right now. For free." Megan exclaimed and Emma couldn't help but giggle, though the weight of her statement weighed true and was something Emma thought about too frequently. She was a person of color living in America, but despite her mixed heritage she wasn't called out as often as her dark-skinned colleges and friends, but that didn't mean she was free of any racist interactions.

"Now might be the best time." Dylan agreed, "Um, I would say the nineties, what no! Like the early nineties, when nirvana was a big thing. Like I wish I lived in Seattle when those bands were all around because they were all friends and I would have liked to be apart of a band like that. Now all music is shit. Let me know how it was, yeah." He laughed.

"Is it cool if I say the nineties too? I don't have good reasoning, I just want to know what the hype was about Blockbuster."

"Did you never go to a blockbuster?" Ryan asked, leaning forward in his chair so his voice traveled to Emma.

"No, it was a, here's Netflix, kind of thing."

"When were you born?" His eyes were wide in shock now, clearly interested in the upbringing Emma had considering she hadn't even visited a blockbuster.

"End of ninety-eight." Emma grinned at his exasperated face, "So I have probably been to a blockbuster, but not that I can remember."

Holland had a blissfully teasing glint in her green eyes when Emma turned towards her and offered her the microphone. It was a given to be picked at because of her age. Being twelve and working with twenty and thirty-year-olds just came with the teasing territory. She didn't mind though, usually because Holland always came to set the next day with random products from the nineties, claiming it was to further educate Emma, when really it was just to give her an excuse to buy them on amazon at two am.

The next question wasn't as light hearted, a girl standing up and asking what advice they had for somebody that's sad. Emma had figured out from personal experience that when a question like that is asked it's never for somebody else or conspired out of the blue, it's somebody that's going through a hard time and needs to hear something other then their own internal monologue.

Froy and Ryan had given inklings of advice whilst Emma was in her own head, trying to find words that could soothe. She had faced depressive episodes that lasted weeks and months, and she had felt sadness that lasted days. The two wore different faces, but often they were confused and shoved into the same category. It was a category that not many social outlets or people liked to touch upon.

"I think it is important to realize it is completely fine to feel sad, it's not a bad thing, in fact it only feels really bad when we try to actively push it away. Some of the most beautiful literature, and poetry, and art, and exploration has come from people feeling sad, and in fact if we didn't feel sad we wouldn't know what it would be to feel happiness. If we didn't have heartbreak we wouldn't know what extreme love would feel like, sadness is apart of our human experience and it's something we need to experience, and I think that when you accept okay, I feel sad today, and you don't try to actively push against it lightens it. I think it's just important to realize we actually need it, and it can provide great perspective if you let it, and learn from it."  Crystal spoke, her words hitting Emma deeply. She knew the feeling of denial all to well, and pushing aside what she was actually feeling had been a default reflex since before she could remember. It had gotten so bad at one point, there had been a time when she couldn't even name what happiness was. She had pushed everything away to the point where she felt numb.

Emma accepted the microphone from Holland after the girl shared, her heart heavy at the topic they were touching at, "I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder when I was eleven and depression when I was thirteen. I think what helped me the most was looking at it from the perspective that shit happens. I think it's so ignorant when people assume you're incapable of functioning with a mental illness, or being medicated is the only way to deal with it. Letting yourself feel anything that's not happiness has such a negative stigma in society, and you're fed bullshit by so many outlets. I just take a step back from it all. When I have the time to stay home, I stay home. Sometimes I sit in silence for days, and I don't talk to anybody. It's just about finding what works for you."

Emma didn't think twice about handing the microphone off to Dylan. She had never been opposed to talking about her own struggles, but it was a conversation controversial to some, and her emotions were so heavily guarded it was hard to express them at times. Sprayberry offered Emma a genuine smile before he tried to find his own remedies at the tip of his tongue.

She didn't really listen to much to what her other former cast-mates said, busy picking at the skin around her nails and starring off into the audience. Miniscule details were catching her attention, her heart beating in her ears. She wasn't good at being vulnerable, or listening to other people being vulnerable. She had gotten better at it, but it was still able to make her antsy.

That was the last question of the panel, and happily Emma accepted Dylan's hand when he helped her down the stage stairs. His touch had brought her out of the distracted daze she'd fallen into, but the topic still weighed heavily on her. She pulled her phone from the waistband of her pants, frowning curiously when she noticed that Logan hadn't sent her any messages.

When they rounded the corner to a green room, Emma was slightly taken aback to see Logan smiling sheepishly. Her baby was wide away, suckling on a pacifier and playing with her fingers, no sign of a nap in her wide blue eyes.

"You left with my phone." Logan held up the phone in her hands, proving to Emma that the phone she'd been checking all morning hadn't been her own. She hadn't even realized that the case and background was different, to caught up with everything else going on. "And I couldn't get into yours, because you changed the password, again."

Ellery and Dylan both made an advance for the baby at the same time, glaring at each other childishly. Everly didn't mind the attention though, soft coos falling from around her pacifier.

"Did she nap at all?" Emma sighed, switching Logan's phone for her own when she came close enough to the blonde. "I swear if you leave me with an overtired baby later, I'll have your head."

Logan rolled her eyes, "Princess here decided she wanted to sleep until ten this morning." Emma gaped at the news, looking over at her baby with a betrayed gleam. Dylan had her cuddled up into his chest, hands softly caressing's her thin and fragile hair.

"Ten?" Emma whined. She was lucky if Everly slept in past seven. She had quickly learned how to do basic house chores with a baby on in her embrace. "You going to head back to the hotel?"

Logan had mentioned a trip to the shops yesterday, so Emma wouldn't be surprised if she came back to the hotel later and her daughter had an entirely new wardrobe. Logan didn't even need to answer for Emma to roll her eyes. "Don't buy all of France, please." She bargained.

"I'll try not to babes." Logan reached for Everly, hardly bothered by the teary gleam she received. "Say bye to Mommy." Emma pressed a kiss to the babies head before Logan and Evie were gone again, off to spend too much money on tiny shoes and clothes.

Her mood had improved greatly, turning to give Dylan a wide grin and pull him over to the large stack of sweets. Shelley was already rummaging through them with Froy, extending a chocolate covered wafer to Emma the second she approached.

This was exactly the place she wanted to be.