#it wasn't insanity (which no doubt this person is using as an insult rather than in its actual meaning)

[prismatic-starstuff]

miquella get behind me.

[josnhoes]

I love the idea of Reader being in Tav's group but not Tav. Maybe it's your own personal Tav. Who recognizes you by feeling. Leading them to be very protective of you.

None of the group really understand why Tav their friend and leader is so protective of you at first. You're a weird little person driven mad by something speaking of worlds and things too impossible to exist. Lots of distrust at first.

Then you grow on them slowly. It starts with Gale and Wyll.

Gale adores hearing about your world, the marvels you describe. Even if you are crazy the ideas were amazing to hear like a story! He tells you stories of this world too, teaching you, guiding you to help fit in more. You're a bit odd but you are a good sort.

Wyll tries to ignore the crazy things you say though he catches himself at times using your odd slang from time to time. You're someone who needs protecting and despite being crazy you do your best to help the group, you also respect boundaries and have empathy in spades and he respects that. Crazy or not you were a pure soul, and he couldn't leave you to the wolves like some wanted.

Shadowheart, Halsin, and Karlach are the second group to get attached.

Shadowheart pities you more than anything. That didn't stop her from at first trying to insist they leave you with the druids. They didn't have time to handle you and get rid of the parasites. Tav shot that down firmly. Once she is attached she has to admit you were rather charming in your own way.

You end up needing healing more often then the others due to your lack of skills. But you never willingly let it slow the group down.

Halsin much like Tav from the start is insistent on teaching you how to survive. You maybe crazy but that doesn't erase the fact you are kind and a living being. Much like lessons with Gale you soak up what he teaches you. Usually it's what's safe to eat in the wild and not, what to do if you encounter certain animals. Things that would serve you well if you got separated from the group.

Once attached he's a bit more of a mother hen. Making sure you are warm at night and that you know he will keep you safe, himself and your other friends.

Karlach was always friendly with you, though there was a distance at first. You could never tell if it was she was scared of hurting you or you snapping in insanity. She didn't fear you she feared your judgment. You were nice and funny and being judge by the party's crazy one would hurt.

But once she adjust to you she is the best company. She wants to make you smile and after a while she believes you completely. She had no doubt of your origins. Which just makes her want to spend more time with you. She wanted memories cemented for both of you of your time together so no matter what happens both of you could look back fondly on the time together you shared.

Lae'zel and Astarion trust you last. And while it's Lae'zel who grows fond last Astarion gives her a good run for her money.

Astarion believes at first your whole thing is an act. Something you are using to get protection and such. He can't judge you for it, he's doing the same after all...but he can't resent how *well* you keep the act up. Not a single Crack or slip of your mask. It's impressive really.

When he finally let's you in he realizes it isn't and act and is horrified. His proof it wasn't an act was the time he finally tried to feed on you. You tasted vile, like things he'd never tasted before. You said preservatives and microplastics and he just had to believe you. He did laugh when you admitted at being a bit insulted you tasted bad but you didn't judge him. Hell out of everyone in camp you made him feel the most...himself. You respected his opinion even more the Tav did and you showed care with out smothering him or demanding things. It meant a lot to him but he'd never say it.

Lae'zel is insistent for a very very long time at just leaving you behind. There was no room for such weakness in the group. You were touched in the head and couldn't fight, you had no value to her and by extension the group. As more and more of the party start getting attached she gets disgusted.

You go to her to ask questions about her culture even after she insults you and threatens you. And eventually that makes her soften a little bit. You were weak but courageous she'd give you that. She will never outright be kind but she may answer questions with less bite. If she saves you on the battlefield... no she didn't.

[drchenquill]

Character profile tag!

Thank you for the tag @the-golden-comet , @sableglass , @finickyfelix and @paeliae-occasionally ! I'm sorry it took me so long, I just couldn't decide who to take for this game. I'll just go with my baby boy Leon.

Name: Leon Martens

Nickname: "Waschlappen" by his late grandma. (It's German and it means sissy, wimp and so on.) It's an insult, but she used it as nickname, often refering to him like that while talking to other people, making it sound like a cute "family inside joke".

Kind of being: Human

Age: 23

Gender: Male

Appearance: fluffy honey-blonde hair with dark drown eyes. Very pale, almost sickly looking skin. He mostly wears cardigans to feel comfortable. His calloused hands look frail like everything on him to be honest. He is rather thin and weak looking. He is a frail man.

Occupation: Art teacher

Family members: None (all deceased. It wasn't a big family)

Pets: None

Best friends: he would say none, but Kiki has taken that spot very fast.

Describe his/her room: So, a bit of context. He moved into a shabby apartment but mid story was forced to move again into a not-as-shabby apartment. I'll describe his old room because his current room isn't his, it's Kilians.

Quoting him: "My bedroom has a large window that looks out onto the street. Normally I would draw the curtains, which didn't happen this time. That's why I can see the first shy rays of sunlight creeping into the day. The apartment I'm currently renting consists of five rooms. The bedroom with a double bed that takes up far too much space, thanks in part to the wardrobe that will collapse on me with just a small earthquake and free me, a bathroom that barely has room for a bathtub, a living room furnished with a beige couch that I doubt was the original color, a small TV that I'm afraid to turn on and, last but not least, the small kitchen where I recently tried to make a coffee with shaky hands and the flame of the stove almost burned my face."

Way of speaking: Polite, tries to never raise his voice.

Physical characteristics (posture, gestures, attitude): He avoids eye contact and often walks with his head down. When he's stressed, his right hand tends to cramp, so you may see him subtly massaging it. He also tends to have twitching hands when he feels the need to draw something to calm down. He is developing a hunchback by always walking with a hunched posture to subconsciously make himself smaller.

Items in his/her back pocket/ purse: A small pocketsized sketchbook with a tiny pencil (he draws to calm himself down.) And his phone and wallet.

Hobbies: Drawing.

Favorite sports: None.

Abilities/Talents/Powers: Drawing

Relationships (how he/she is with other people): He tries not to interact with other people, but when he does, he tends to not hold eye contact for too long. He is rather submissive, not wanting to anger anyone.

Fears: Being looked at, making mistakes, angering other people, people thinking he is insane.

Fault: He is very paranoid and does not trust at all. He always thinks the worst and often doesn't give the other person a chance to explain. He can be very petty.

Good points: He is very gentle with children. He loves children because he feels safe around them.

What he/she wants more than anything else: To be left alone and to get rid of the crushing guilt he feels after surviving the car accident that killed his parents.

~~~

Tagging with no pressure @theink-stainedfolk , @inseasofgreen , @katenewmanwrites , @kaeru483 , @happypup-kitcat24 and open tag~

[ayayabaroque]

Tears, Laughter, Sorrow.

corny, pero wla ako mapost e wla akong no choice last march pa 'to sa drafts CW: Angst? mostly none, corny writing, i hate writing esp since i cant think of anything good/this is why i dont post anymore ffs Spoilers for Lantern Rite '23, not sure if i mention anything but yk its just to be safe A/N: i love school, but i went from rank 1 to rank 3 and i absolutely hate everything and everyone im going to cry sorry for not posting anything recently(and ever), and as usual, English isn't my first language, so please don't have any high hopes for this piece. I might go back to completing the Slowly series but im not feeling well since i last went on here to write a serious fic Read utc!

*:･ﾟ✧ Zhongli *:･ﾟ✧ "Would you live to see Liyue's downfall, or always relive the one most painful moment you have felt in your lifetime?" You pause, thinking on an answer to your friend's question. "The latter. Liyue's downfall won't happen for another thousand years, I doubt that any of you would be attending my funeral any time soon." Your friend tears up at the thought. "Right... yeah probably right." "I'm kidding of course! An endless time loop would keep me stressed, I'd rather have you by my side." ... "I'm... relieved? Hey listen, it's getting late, you should be getting home. I'll see you tomorrow." It was unlikely for your friend to suggest to leave this early, but you don't mind, as long as you see them again tomorrow. Then again, it was too tiring to walk home just right now, maybe you could walk around the harbor, after all, you and your friend have been playing by the docks all day, without anything better to do. "I should be getting home back to Zhongli." you mutter. Although cold, the air in Liyue would always smell of various floral scents, specifically the Glaze Lily. You hated Glaze Lilies. There wasn't one word in the dictionary that could describe how much you loathe these cyan-petal, night-blooming lilies as much as you possibly could. Well, truth be told, you hated the person Zhongli associates with these blooms, and it drives you insane. Guizhong, Zhongli's late friend before the Archon War, used to be so close to him. He would return late from his ventures with his friend in tow that he forgets to come home to you every single time. You couldn't really argue with the reasoning he has, since he is more of your superior rather than a lover. It's been so long since he spent time with you without reminiscing about Guizhong, probably a little over your 429th birthday. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention you were old? The more Zhongli leaves you to mourn Guizhong's day of death on your day of birth, you resort to laughter every time he comes home instead. The false joy of seeing him return home after a mournful day which he marks Guizhong's passing, your laughter behind the façade you show for your lover. "How's Guizhong been? Any response yet?" you muse. "I prefer you not adding salt to my wound." "Oh yeah, you guys ended on rather good terms, it would be a shame if I were to slander her in front of her good friend." The statement always seems to make Zhongli seethe with fury, and it looks like he's had enough of your insults and remarks. "A true shame you did not get to know her, or were you busy burning away your lifetime serving false gods?" "You know well better than to bring my past stature into this conversation." It pains you to think about your past, when your parents sold you off to a minor god for wealth, leaving you to rot in the god's hands. "I'm tired, I do not wish to make this into a heated argument. Go to bed." ... "I honestly wish it was you instead of Guizhong, I miss her dearly." That was what made this memory painful, it was what made you cry in the eve, and sob in the morn. In the end, when you were asked the same question years ago, immortality seemed like a dream, now turned into a living nightmare. You only wish to awake from this horrible dream, again, and again, and again. "So... Would you live to see Liyue's downfall, or always relive the one most painful moment you have felt in your lifetime?" The question that would mark another day of the loop, spent in misery and sorrow. The days you've spent celebrating your birth over, and over again. "Happy 7,329th birthday, to me."

[emf005]

Cramps

James Sirius Potter x Female! reader

Warnings: Puberty, James being the cutest thing ever, pain, couple cuss words for pizzaz(Maybe)

:readmore:

“Oi! Y/L/N!” You smiled as you saw the one and only James Sirius Potter strutting up the hallway with his band of trouble makers behind him. Most of them were his family, but a few were unrelated family members(Very Very close friends.)

“Oi! Potter!” You called back teasingly.

“Having a bad hair day today?” He smirked, looking you up and down. You rolled your eyes and touched your crappily put in braid. It may have looked like it, but you weren’t having a bad hair day. You were just crap at doing hair.

“Nope. Having a hard time coming up with insults? Am I too perfect for the James Potter to insult me?” You joked. You always took the teasing light heartedly. You listened to this song over the summer called Sarcasm. It was pretty good. But one of the lines that stood out to you were “Sticks and stones can break my bones but anything you say will only fuel my lungs”. It wasn't like you let him get to you before this, but you had only rarely hit him back with a come back. Now, you always threw one back.

“Ha! Perfect? You? Those two words shouldn’t be in a sentence together, Y/L/N.”

“You’re right,” you nodded, leaving him confused. You strode off down the hall with a swing in your hips. “Perfect is too dull of a word to describe me, Sweetheart!” You called over your shoulder with a wink. You disappeared behind the corner as you heard his friends laughing.

They knew you were light hearted about it. You were actually pretty close with a few of them. But James was competitive in everything. And for some reason he had chosen you to be his muse for picking on. You didn’t know why, nor did you actually care. You always liked a bit of banter, especially around this time of the month. And no, you weren;t a werewolf (Though you would gladly take that over having your period)

See, all periods come with their… side effects. Hormones bounce crazily off the walls and make some moody. Some get cramps. Some get both. Some break out and others(A very few minority) just have it without anything to think about. You had it worse than anyone.

Cramps. That may have been all you got, but they were so bad that walking, breathing, talking, or even moving could be impossible. You were once nearly paralyzed for a whole week and a half. You only moved to go to the bathroom. Your mom had to actually feed you. You were a very active person, you can only imagine how insane that made you.

Madame Pomfrey, your great Grandmother and god mother because that woman is a queen, always took care of you during these times and often threw things at you because you weren’t taking good enough care of yourself. You loved the woman dearly, but wow could she yell at you.

You watched James and his crew head down to the quidditch pitch for practice while you skipped down to Hagrid's. You loved to play quidditch but never wanted to play on the team. You knew you weren’t good enough for that and you would rather have just messed around with some friends.

“Hey Hagrid!” You said happily and plopped down by a pumpkin. He turned around from tending his garden and smiled at you.

“ ‘ello, Y/N. How ‘er you today?”

“Alright I guess. How about you? Any new creatures come crawling around?”

“Not yet. But I suspect they’ll show up soon.”

“Need any help?”

“You know where the tools are.” You hopped up, but not too fast because.. Well.. you know, and grabbed a pair of gloves and shoved them in your pocket in case he let you tend to the Biting thorns again. You had a knack for everything Herbology and Magical creates. You were Professor Longbottom and Hargrid’s favorite student, you knew it. I mean, you definitely were, no doubt.

About three hours later you started to get a stabbing pain in your lower stomach, losing your breath for a moment.

Shit

“Hey, Hagrid, I think I’m going to clean up before dinner. I only have a few minutes and I doubt anyone wants to be sitting next to my smelly butt.” You laughed, the stabbing getting worse.

“I’ll see ya there, Y/N! Thanks fer tha help!”

“Anytime!” You jogged away from him and a relaxing Fang so you could visit your great gran. Well, she wasn’t technically related to you. She was a close friend of your grandmother’s. They had gone to school together and been (And still were) closer than sisters. You grew up with her and she had become very over protective of you.

You waltzed into the hospital wing with a smile on your face. You were used to the stabbing pains. You had a very high pain tolerance, I mean, you had to.

“Gran!” You yelled out, not even flinching when you felt another annoying stab.

Madame Pomfrey came walking over to you with her arms crossed over her chest.

“You haven’t come to see me all week. Does this mean that you have finally come to your senses?”

“Oh, you make such a big deal out of everything. I barely have felt anything so far, and plus it's only Wednesday, perhaps I was just busy.” She gave you a knowing look. She always knew. You didn’t know how, but she always did. “Well, anyhow, I was helping Hagrid and the stabs were a bit worse than normal. Got anything that’ll just subside that?”

“I have the potion you should've been taking since the beginning of the week, young lady.”

“It's nothing major, Gran. Just something small. I don’t need the whole nine yards.” She sighed. You were the only person who she would give into.

“Fine, but don't come crying to me when you are hurting so badly that you can't move.” She was about to walk away when the doors banged open. You two looked over and saw James and his crew walking in. Madame Pomfrey sighed. “What is it now, Mr. Potter?”

“Don’t know I-”

“Fell off your broom and landed wrong while you were trying to do some wicked trick. I know. Set him on the table. I’ll be there in a-”

“I have to take a shower, Madame Pomfrey. I’ll come back later. Feel better, James! Hi guys!” You waved at them all and jogged off, ignoring your gran calling after you. Oh, yeah, another thing about you. You really didn’t like attention. You also didn’t like the fact that there was someone in more need of help than you and you were getting the help first. James needed more help than you did, you would just come back later… You thought you would.

You had planned to go back after dinner, but you didn’t. A friend asked you with help on the Divination homework. You decided to go the next day. Asked to help first years. Friday? No. Dueling club and extra studying. Before you knew it, it was Saturday and you were in so much pain. But you just kept going.

You were headed down to the quidditch pitch to watch Lysander and a few of his buddies play against Albus and Scorpius and a few of their friends. It was just a scrimmage, nothing major, but they all liked to have an audience. And since they all knew and liked you, they asked if you wanted to join. What you didn’t count on was James being there.

“Well well well. Look who we got here?” You looked over to see James, alone, walking over to you.

“Hey, James.” You said a bit weakly and short of breath.

“You alright?” You just nodded. He seemed to get more concerned. “Are you sure? You don’t look so good?” You laughed.

“Yeah well, I have my good days and my bad ones,” you joked, thinking he was teasing you again. He wasn't.

“Y/N. Stop for a second.” You did and turned to him.

“Are you sure you're alright? You look really pale and tired.”

“I’m fine. I promise.” You smiled and continued down to the pitch with him besides you. That's when the worst one you have had in a while hit you with full force, knock every ounce of wind out of you.

You collapsed and held your stomach, trying to take deep breaths like you had taught yourself to do.

“Y/N!” You felt a hand on your back and another on your arm.” What's wrong? What happened?”

“N-nothing. I’m-Ah!” You collapsed completely to your knees. The throbbing hurt so bad. It was like someone was digging a knife in you and just twirling it around.

“Obviously something. What can I do?”

“Take-take me to-to Gran. Please.”

“Gran, who's Gran?”

“Sorry. Madam Pomfrey.” He nodded and helped you up, putting an arm around you to keep you up.

“You're explaining that to me later.” You laughed, which only made it worse. “Can you walk faster? You're getting paler by the second.”

“This is… as fast… as I can… go.”

“Here,” he moved in front of you and bent down. “Get on my beck, it’ll be faster, alright?”

“James you really don’t have-”

“I want to. Come on.” You wrapped your arms around his neck and he, carefully, hoisted you up. He quickly walked to the hospital wing, being cautious as to not bump you around too much. “Madame Pomfrey!” He yelled when he banged the doors open like he always does. A dramatic entrance for a dramatic boy. You heard the oh so familiar sigh.

“What did you do this time, James?” She walked around the corner and saw you on James' back, her eyes widened in horror and she quickly moved into action. “Put her down here,” she opened up a section and he set you down carefully. She quickly ran away and started to gather stuff. James stood beside your bed and stared at you oddly.

“What?”

“What happened? You seemed fine the other day. Are you sick or-”

“I’m really fine, it's just.. Um… girl stuff?” His eyes widened in understanding (Not horror).

“OH! Oh Merlin, are you ok? What do you need, like literally anything?” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“It's just cramps,” you shrugged, confused by his reactions. Normally anything under the topic of puberty or periods boys were off running. Even your own brothers.

“Not just cramps, young lady.” Your gran scolded and walked in, holding a bottle of the potion you were supposed to be taking. It really didn’t do much. And it tasted horrible. “These are getting worse as you get older.” You glanced at James.

“Ok. You don’t have to be talking about this with him here. No offence.” He just shrugged.

“You have to start taking this seriously!”

“Gran, I do! I was just busy!”

"You came in and then you left without taking it, telling me you would be back!”

“I got side tracked! And James was in more pain than I was!” Your voice was horse and it was getting harder to talk and breathe. She handed you the potion and you chugged it.

“You left because of me?” James asked. You swallowed the rest of the foul tasting liquid.

“You needed her attention. And then someone needed help on homework and it just” you coughed, making your stomach knot again. “Got out of hand.”

“Thank you for bringing her up, Mr. Potter. You can leave.”

“But-”

“She needs her rest.”

“Tell the boys I’m sorry I missed the game.” He hesitated but nodded and left. Your Gran scolded you for a few moments before she left and told you to get some sleep, which you did.

The next day your friends visited you and you ignored the pains. They weren’t as bad as yesterday’s, but they were still pretty bad.

Soon they left and that just left you sitting hour after hour. You were still awake when it was one in the morning and you heard footsteps coming towards your bed. You figured it was your gran coming to check on you so you shut your eyes and pretended to be asleep.

They set something on the table and you opened your eyes seeing James.

“James?” He was startled and jumped a bit. He looked down at you with guilt on his face.

“Sorry,” He whispered. “Did I wake you?” You sat up slowly.

“No. I’ve been up. Kind of hard to sleep.” You moved over and motioned for him to sit, which he did.

“Cause of the…”

“Cramps?”

“Yes.”

“Yep. You know, you’re a lot cooler with this stuff than a lot of boys your age are.”

“I never understood that. I mean, it's something that happens. Why do guys have to be so weird about it? Plus my little sister goes through it so…”

“That's right! Your sister’s Lily.”

“Yeah. She gets pretty bad cramps too, but not as bad as you, I think.”

“No one gets them as bad as me, which I’m grateful for.”

“So the potion doesn't really work?”

“Takes a bit of the edge off, but other than that? No.”

“I’m sorry.” You just shrugged and shifted. “Is there anything I can do to help?” You smiled.

“You’re sweet, James. But, I’m afraid not.”

“Well, I do know one thing I can do.”

“What?” He grabbed whatever he had sat on the bedside table and set it on your lap. It was a basket full of chocolates. Your eyes lit up at the sight.

“Holy Merlin! Where did you get all this?”

“I have my ways. I remember Lily said chocolate always makes her feel better so I figured it would help you too.”

“Wow. James! Thank you! Can I…”

“No. Absolutely not. I just brought it down here so that it can stare you in the face. You aren’t allowed to eat one piece of it.” You smirked at him and didn;t reach for a piece, just to see what he would do. “Oh my go, I was joking.” You laughed.

“I know I know!” You grabbed two pieces and handed one to him. He looked at it and then back up at you before taking it. You opened your piece quickly and bit into it. “Eat! Come on, you are stayen for a bit aren’t ya?”

“Why would you want me to?”

“Because you're my friend.”

“Why would you consider me that?”

“Because you helped me out a lot and you gave me food. We also talk all the time. Why? You don’t want to be friends?”

“I figured you wouldn’t want to be mine.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve bullied you countless times.”

“That was just playful banter. I've seen you bully people. You were just teasing me.” He stared down at the candy.

“But still…”

“James, listen. I want to be your friend. If you don’t want to be mine I guess that's alright, but I've always wanted to be your friend.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You seem really cool. And you are really nice. I've seen you with your siblings and your friends and have always been kinda jealous. I've never really had that," you shrugged and took another bite from your chocolate bar.

"You have all sorts of friends, though."

"Yeah but I'm kind of the replaceable friend. And then my family is a bucket load of insane. So I guess I’m sort of jealous. Like this.” you motioned to the chocolate and at him. “I have been having this happen since first year and my friends come in once to check on me unless they need help on something. I guess it's kind of childish, but-”

“No.” You looked at him, a bit shocked at his tone. “That's not childish at all! How are they your friends if you’re in pain and they don’t come to see you unless they need something?”

“James, it's not that big of a deal. I have a high pain tolerance and plus I have gran worrying over me.”

“Oh please explain that to me. You're her granddaughter?”

“Well, sort of. Great granddaughter, and honorary. Her and my grandma were as close as sisters when they went to Hogwarts and stayed that way throughout life. And when I lost my great gran and both my nans, she stepped up. Very over protective of me.” He smirked and leaned on his legs.

“I’d say. ‘Get out, Potter. I appreciate you bringing her up but I don’t want you here.” he mimicked her voice, and not too terribly. You started to laugh, making your stomach knot in protest. You groaned and fell back on your bed. “Oh! Sorry. Do you need another pillow? More blankets? Chocolate?” You smiled gratefully at him.

“No. Just gotta wait it out. Thank you though.” You smiled at him gratefully and you two talked until you fell asleep. He smiled, finding it odd how much he actually liked you. Every “conversation” he had he always enjoyed. Always enjoyed your banter in the halls and in class, but he had never actually talked to you before.

He stood up and pulled the blanket over you more so that your shoulders and arms were covered. He put the chocolate on the bedside table and brushed the wrappers off of the bed so that it wasn’t a mess when you woke up in the morning.

He then snuck out of the infirmary and back into his dorm room. James was surprised to see that his last thought before falling asleep was of you and hoping you felt better. He really hadn’t realized how much fun you were.

You weren’t in classes that day. Madame Pomfrey seemed to be punishing you and kept you in bed, bringing you meals from the great hall while you survived on James’ chocolate. You were reading over your notes when someone cleared their throat. You looked up, chocolate half in your mouth, to see James standing with a plate and his school bag.

“Hi James! Back already?” He laughed and sat down where he had sat the other day.

“You weren’t in class or the great hall. Wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“That's sweet. Thank you. I’m feeling lots better, but Gran won’t let me go to classes yet. She wants to monitor me and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

He slid the plate of food and your face lit up. Sweets and meats, your favorite.

“Figured you would be hungry.”

“Starved! Yet again, thank you.”

“It's what friends do,” he said with a nod. You smiled happily. Friends. You had finally made it to friends with James Sirius Potter. “I also brought notes. In case you wanted to copy them.” He pulled his notes from his bag and handed them to you. You grabbed it and started to flip through the surprisingly clean and crisp notes. This boy took better notes than you do. That was unexpected.

“Thank you, James! I was a bit worried I was going to be overrun again.” He shrugged and stole a swipe of Mashed Potatoes off your plate. You smirked at him but didn’t say anything.

He sat and talked to you while you ate and then helped you with homework when you set your plate aside and started to work on notes.

“Here. Like this.” He moved next to you up by the head board and held your wrist, showing you the proper hand motions for DADA. You tried to focus on the correction and not your burning cheeks.

Damn hormones.

“There you go. Now try it without a helping hand.” You shoved him and laughed.

“That was terrible!” He smiled crookedly, fixing his glasses.

“Yeah, but you laughed.’ You bit your lip and shook your head.

“You, sir, are utterly ridiculous.”

“Oh, I’m sir now.” He joked, settling back by your feet. You kicked his leg lightly. “OW! OH MERLIN SHE KICKED ME! I THINK MY LEGS COMING OFF!” He fell to the ground dramatically causing you to burst out from laughter and your stomach to continue to knot up over and over, but you couldn’t stop. He was twitching dramatically on the ground like a dork.

Madam Pomfrey came over and tapped her foot agitatedly.

“This is no place for fooling around, Mr.Potter. Either stay and behave or leave.” She turned and cast you a glance before walking away. You two burst out laughing when you heard her door shut. He popped back up onto the bed.

“So, what have you been up to? I've caught you up on all you’ve missed.” You just shrugged.

“Studying. It's really all I can do. She won’t even let me stand up.”

“Well that's no fun. You haven’t even been outside?”

“Nope. Her one rule is stay in the bed. Not allowed to stand, unless it's to go to the bathroom, which has to be the one in this room.”

“Why so specific.”

“Second year I went to the restroom, on the fourth floor on the other side of the castle.” James chuckled and looked over his shoulder.

“Well, how about we make her get even more specific?”

“What did you have in mind?” He snuck over to where the wheel chairs were and rode it over. A wide grin spread across your face.

“Your carriage awaits.” You laughed and quickly hopped in. He then ran, pushing you in front of him. You two ran through the castle laughing like mad people.

“What's this?” Fred asked, a smirk on his face as he and Erinie Longbottom came out of the great hall.

“Never thought I’d see you two get along, let alone laughing.”

“Mischief is mischief.” James shrugged and stood up on the back of the wheelchair.

“Madame Pomfrey has forbidden me from walking.” You explained. “James just wanted to get me into some trouble.” Ernie looked at the wheel chair, a slow grin spreading on his face.

“Why don’t we all get into some trouble then.” He cast a spell on the wheels on the wheel chair before making three more appear. “Now, you can control it on your own and so can we.” He sat down in his and went zooming off. You, Fred, and James watched with smiles on your faces. They quickly sat into theirs and the three of you chased after Ernie. Who knew you would become such quick friends with James and that would leave you to get into a bit of mayhem with him.

You four raced down the halls but all stopped abruptly by a tapping of a foot. You all looked up to see Madame Pomfrey standing there with her arms folded across her chest. You swore under your breath.

“Madame Pomfrey!” Ernie squeaked and fell out of his chair. “Uh, we didn’t see you there?” You shook your head at the lame excuse.

“Madame Pomfrey I-”

“You, with me, now.” You sighed and rolled after her. Waving bye to the boys. They waved back and watched you go.

“So.” Fred said with a smirk on his face. “Finally come to your senses?”

“Shut up.” James muttered, feeling a bit guilty that you were the only one who got into trouble. It had been his idea after all.

“I told you that it wasn’t a smart idea to get out of your bed!” Your gran scolded as she wheeled you into the Hospital wing.

“Technically you said I wasn’t allowed to stand up unless it was to use the restroom. I was not standing up, I was sitting down. And what's the big deal? I’m fine! It's almost over anyhow!” She groaned in frustration. “Gran, I’m in 5th year. I think I can make decisions for myself now.” She looked at you for a moment before sighing.

“Alright. But, you have to promise me, when you start to get bad you will come straight-Oh!” You hugged her tight around the waist and she patted your head.

“Thank you, Gran.”

“Yes yes. And you should be careful around that Potter boy.”

“Which one?” You asked cheekily.

“Now don’t you get cheeky on my young lady. You know what I’m talking about. Don’t you go falling in love with him. I’ve actually had girls come in because they said that he broke their heart. Like his name sakes,” she shook her head and walked away leaving you thinking.

You wouldn’t get a crush on James, would you? I mean, sure he was tall and cute and a dork with an adorable personality that kind of made your heart flutter. But that didn’t mean you- You smacked your head.

“Dammit. How could I have let that happen?” You muttered to yourself. You silently cursed your gran. You had been blissfully unaware and now you were very much aware that you had a tiny crush on James Sirius Potter. This ought to go over well.

Xx

Over the years you had only grown closer to James and his friends. Mostly James though. It was rare not to see you two together. You both would jam pack your schedules so you would have each other in classes. You knew he did it because of your cramps and how you didn’t really discuss it with anybody or like to bring it up. So when they got too bad and you couldn’t go to classes he would bring you your notes and help you study, like you didn;t help each other study any how. But now, now it was all going to change. You had passed your last year at Hogwarts and were now lying on your couch in pain. You had taken the potion your gran had sent you but the potion had seemed to do less and less over the years while James had done more and more.

You had a pile of letters in the corner that he had sent you. You two had sent back and forth non-stop, both of you now having your own separate apartments that were, sadly, not very close to each other. Of course, you could just apparate to the others house but you wouldn’t really do that on a daily basis, sadly.

You had sent him a letter the other day and found it weird you hadn’t gotten one in response yet, but you weren;t the most important thing in his life, sadly. As you and James had grown more attached, your crush on him had grown and grown and grown. Being away from him for so long, This was your first month, and knowing that you weren’t going back on September first to see him and your other friends was killing you. How could people live without knowing if they would ever go back to Hogwarts? It may sound cheesy and a bit cliche, but it was and forever will be your home.

There was a knock on the door as another wave hit you and now you had to stand up and pretend you were alright. You looked at your empty chocolate bag, you really should’ve stocked up after the last time.

You opened the door and leaned heavily on it as you looked up into the familiar glass covered eyes.

“James!?” He beamed happily.

“Miss me that much? We’ve only been out of school for about a month.” You chuckled and shook your head.

“You’re such a dork. What are you doing here?” He held up a abox.

“Figured you would have forgotten to restock since Hogwarts, like you always do.”

“How do you remember these things? And why would you want to?” You opened the door and let him in. He strode in and looked around your apartment. He wasn’t familiar with it yet.He set it down on the kitchen counter and jumped up onto it to look around the place, nodding in approval.

“Nice place.”

“You say that everytime you come over.” You said sarcastically as you grabbed the jacket you had thrown on the floor after work. It caused your stomach to cramp and you were stuck for a second because you were trying to breathe.

“Ok, couch, now.” James said, grabbing your arms and leading you over to the couch, setting you down and taking your jacket.

“James, you really don’t have to-”

“Yeah I do. Stay.” He left your side and went to the box. “Did you take the potion?”

“Yeah. Did nothing as usual.” You whined, he sat back down and opened the box, pulling out two candy bars and handing you one, like he always did, and keeping one for himself.

“Sorry, kid.”

“I am like a week younger than you!”

“A month and a half,” he corrected. You glared and bit into your chocolate, making him laugh and look around your apartment until his eyes landed on a moving picture you had put up. It was from the first year you two became friends. He walked over to it and took it off the wall. “You still have this?” You smiled.

“Of course! That was the first Weasley Summer I had! It was the best summer of my life!” You laughed lightly smiling at the memory of James trying to get you on a broom. And then you had crashed into four trees until you semi-got the hang of that.

“Didn’t you get a concussion from that summer?”

“Don’t know, wouldn’t let anyone check.” You laughed, your stomach cramping again, but not as bad as usual. He smiled and hung it back on the wall. He sat back down next to you.

“How've you been, though? You always sound like you're doing great in your letters.”

“It's been alright. Adult life isn’t terrible and my job’s pretty fun. I've been thinking about getting a dog.”

“Really?” He asked excitedly.

“Yep, and I was going to name it Sirius.” His face turned disappointed.

“You know, I brought you chocolate, you can at least be a bit nicer to me.” you giggled.

“I’m joking, I'm joking. But yeah. I do want a dog.”

“Get lonely up here already?”

“Definitely. How are you? You seem like you are having a good time in your letters. Var hopping every weekend.”

“You can join us. We’d love to have you hang with us.” You shrugged.

“Well, definitely not this weekend.”

“No, definitely not. Though you look like you could use a bottle of fire whiskey.”

“I need two.” He laughed and put his arm around your shoulders, you rested your head on his shoulder.

“I felt ya there.”

The rest of the night, James hung out with you. Chocolate and talking and radio and, when you were feeling up to it, he made you dance with him because he’s the biggest jerk in the world.

It was now near midnight and you two were on the couch listening to old muggle records because why not. You were half asleep on James’ chest. He was playing with your hair and humming along to the song. It was a familiar position for you two. Madame Pomfrey had once caught you two like this, though James had been the only one awake. She had looked at him and then at you back in sixth year.

“Be careful there, Mr. Potter. I do not want her getting hurt.” And then she turned and left. He had planned on telling you that morning, but the thought that he would hurt you in any way had kept him from saying anything. But now… Now he couldn't help it. The smell of your shampoo and the way you smelt like chocolate and… and he couldn't help it. This had been the most fun he had had since Hogwarts had left out. All because he was with you.

“Y/N?” He whispered, just in case you were asleep. He knew how hard it was for you to actually fall asleep when you got these cramps.

You hummed in response. Half asleep, but not completely. He took a breath.

“Can I tell you a secret?”

You hummed again.

“I love you.” He didn’t get a response this time and thought you had fallen asleep. He was a bit relieved that you hadn’t heard. The other part was a bit disappointed.

“What?”

Shit.

“I-I love you.”

You sat up and looked him in the eye. He knew this look. You were trying to detect a lie, he let you look. And boy, did you take your time.

“You-You do?”

“I do. I get it if you don’t in return but I just had to-” You grabbed his collar and pressed his lips to your quickly. His eyes widened in surprise before he quickly kissed you back. You pulled apart and both of you were smiling messes.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” You said, biting your lip.

“Seriously?” He pulled back from you with wide eyes. You nodded nervously. “How long?”

“The first time you helped me, I guess. And I wouldn’t have even realized it if Gran hadn’t said anything to me.”

“You’re joking.” You shook your head.” He kissed you again, taking you by surprise.

“Why? How long for you?”

“End of fifth. I was going to tell you in sixth but…”

“But what?” You looked at him. “James…”

“Your Gran scared me.”

“What did she do?” You sighed.

“Nothing!”

“James, I am too tired, what?”

“She just told me not to hurt you.” You frowned and looked at your hands.

“And you planned to?”

“No! No no no no.” He pulled your face up to his and smiled. “I was scared that I might. I got scared that I would be the reason you were in pain. I didn’t want that. I didn’t even want to think that I would be the reason for that. So, I thought it was better to not do anything but be there for you.” You stared at him for a moment and bit your lip, thinking over and being completely touched. And you believed him. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“I-I was scared.” You rested your head on his shoulder to hide your face, embarrassed that your feelings had been reciprocated this whole time.

“Of what?”

You muttered something that he didn’t catch.

“Come on, I spilled my heart out to you, your turn.”

“That I’d lose the best friend I've ever had.” You muttered a bit louder. He heard this and couldn’t help the soft smile that spread across his face. He pulled you onto him and leaned against the arm of the sofa so you were on top of him. You looked at him, confused. You head was on his chest again and your eyes were fluttering shut again.

“You’re not going to lose me, Y/N.” He said with a smile. You smiled into his chest and wanted to say something but your mind was already powering down. You felt his lips press against your hair. “You won’t ever lose me. Good night, Y/N.” You murmured an incoherent goodnight, but he got the point and smiled before falling himself.

You woke up in the morning to smell the most wonderful smell you ever had smelt before… Bacon.

You groaned and sat up, a bit confused as to why you were smelling bacon. You thought it was just your mind at first and your mind wandered back to the dream you had had of James. You wished it were true. The kiss seemed so real, so perfect. You pushed yourself off the couch and your foot hit a box. Your eyes widened immediately. You opened it and saw a group of empty chocolate wrappers.

Oh no…

You turned around quickly and saw James’ back in your kitchen over the stove. Then you heard the sizzle of food cooking on your unused stove, since you were a wreck in the kitchen. ANd then you heard James’ humming. That wasn;t an illusion.

“James?” He turned around and smiled.

“About time you woke up. I thought you were dead for a little while there.” You pushed yourself off the couch and stumbled into the kitchen. “Coffee in the cup.” You looked down to a steaming cup.

“I’m not so convinced yet.” He chuckled and slid the food onto two separate plates handing one to you. “I didn’t even know that worked.” You muttered looking at the stove.

“Figured. You can’t cook to save your life.”

You threw a piece of bacon at him, which he gladly ate.

“Did you stay all night?” You asked half way through breakfast.

“I figured we should talk this morning.” You nodded and bit your lip. So it did happen.

“Right so we… kissed.”

“Yep.”

“Yeah.” The silence turned awkward.

“Ok, I’m just going to say it, then. I don’t know how much you remember but everything I said, I meant. I really do like you, Y/N.” You bit your lip and smiled.

“I-I think I remember enough to know that I have told you the same. And I-I meant it to.”

“Really?”

“Really, James. I meant it all and I really do like you alot.” You smiled. And he let out a sigh and collapsed into his chair.

“That is a huge relief.”

“Tell me about it. So what do we do now? What happens?”

“I think I'll ask you out.”

“And I obviously would say yes.”

“And then we go to a… quidditch game?”

“And I’d buy the snacks after arguing with you about money.”

“Right. And then I would completely sweep you off your feet when I book the stadium for afterwards and teach you how to ride more.”

“Of course, unless I blow you away with my mad skills.” He beamed.

“Which is very possible with the way you ride.” You laughed.

“So when would this hypothetical date take place?”

“Saturday at six?”

“I think I could be there. If you were to ask me, of course.”

“Well maybe I’m getting there.”

“Maybe you should hurry up before we spend another three years without each other.”

“Y/N, would you go out with me?”

“Yes.” You said smiling. He returned your smile with a crooked one of his own.

“Then I’ll pick you up here, and I am buying the snacks.”

“James you are no-pop-James Potter you get back here!” You yelled to the open air laughing as your best friend-boyfriend- apperated from your apartment.

You bit your lip and leaned on your hand.

You got a date with the boy you loved. And who would’ve thought it would all be because of a terrible time dealing with cramps?

[siriushxney]

* . PAPER RINGS !

pairing — lando norris x reader

rating — fluff

wordcount — 2.3k

warnings — cursing (it's me who are we kidding)

song — taylor swift | paper rings

note ! — before y'all jump down my throat about "what the hell is a toque” — it's a hat. us canadians call it a toque. also this is long overdue, but I hope you like it!

when the light of day melted into the dark of night, and long, tiring shifts slowly came to an end, it wasn't an odd sight to see large groups of people piling into bars for a drink or several. with an extra hour and a half added onto your normal shift time due to your bosses inability to do what he was supposed to do — leaving stacks of paperwork you had to go through, along with a few of your other colleagues.

now walking into the packed bar — bags long forgotten in your cars, you couldn't find it in yourself to cringe at the strong smell of alcohol that burned your nose as you walked through the door, nor did you care for the way the heels of your feet stuck to the ground with every step you took.

after a day like today, you weren't sure if you'd mind anything.

sheila — one of your colleagues raised a stiff hand and slammed it down on the counter, gaining the attention of the bartender. “we need like, fifteen shots stat!” the bartender immediately got to work, pouring glass after glass — sliding them in front of the five of you, before turning to serve another guest.

“that asshole gonna get my foot down his throat if he dumps that much paperwork on us again,” she downed her first shot and reached for another one, “all of that should have been sorted out in the morning, not thrown onto us as we were packing up,” the rest of you agreed, downing a shot quickly as you tried to keep up with the loud mouthed girl.

you turned your head away from the conversation that had started between the others, choosing to stare curiously at the screen in the corner displaying reruns of a race that took place today.

feeling a body skim yours as a group of men slid into the barspace to the left of you — a majority of them sporting an orange and blue item of clothing, something you had connected quickly to the orange and blue car that had been on screen moments earlier.

looking back to the tv hanging from the ceiling, you tried to wrap your head around what all the numbers meant — a small bump caused you to look down, a younger man of the bunch staring at the tv proudly, “do you watch f1?” he turned his head to look at you as he finished asking his question.

f1... Is that what this was called?

“no, but I'd rather watch that then the football game that's on,” the boy looked at you with wide eyes, slightly in awe of how blunt you were. he nodded slightly before turning his attention back to the tv. “ I assume you do. you're wearing the colours of one of the cars,” you felt bad as you watched the boy curl into himself slightly.

ha looked over to you once again — “you can say that,” his eyes glinted a little bit as he spoke, a proud smirk coming across his face as he leaned in closer, not close enough to make you uncomfortable, but close enough that he could speak without the bar hearing. “I race for them — see that orange and blue mclaren? thats me.”

that was definitely more interesting than the news.

“so what might that mclaren driver's name be?” his head turned back to you, a slight red tint covering his cheeks, and climbing to the tips of his ears.

with a single hand outstretched to you, he introduced himself, “I’m lando norris — and who might you be?”

“Y/N.”

—

that day had happened a few months ago — and in that time, your friendship with the young driver had only progressed.

days you used to spend simply reading in the comfort of your own home, was now spent bouncing from bookshop from book shop — lando recommending you all the books that he had been in love with at the moment.

you had to refrain from telling him you had already read them, having looked him up on instagram a day or two after the initial meet — the photo of him cozy and comfortable in his bed with the stack of books perfectly visible to his side.

the types of books a person read could tell you a lot about their character — and with lando, it was all good things.

“okay, and then this one is semi based on a true story — like half true but has a lot of action and drama sprinkled in there-” he rambled on about the book he held in his hands, his eyes darting between you and it as his hands ran over the spine and pages of the book.

even knowing the writer, plot, and ending — you couldn't bring yourself to put an end to his ramblings. instead, you stood to his side and nodded eagerly as he spoke words with such excitement.

for any other person, you would have cut them off and told them that you had read it — but for some reason, cutting lando off was the last thing you wanted to do. he wasn't the famous young driver for mclaren who was always eager for a challenge on the track. he was just lando.

the boy who had a mini library growing in his room, filled with books from every genre. he was the boy with the odd affinity for milk. he was just normal.

and for the first time in your life — normal felt nice.

—

“lando, you're insane.”

“maybe a little bit, but insane is fun sometimes.”

when lando said he had something fun in mind for the two of you to do, the last place you expected to end up was on the shore of an ice cold lake — the wind blowing harshly against your body, making it sway slightly with the force.

lando had already taken off his jacket, now standing in just his shirt and bottoms.

“I’m not going in that,” you backed away from the boy as he stripped more and more of his clothes off, dropping them in a neat pile on the ground.

he shrugged, pausing in his action of removing his jeans, “are you not going in because its cold, or are you not going in because you don't have a swim suit?” while the lake technically was still warm enough for swimming, the thought of the water 's temperature that was lowering daily paired with the strong winds, didn’t exactly spark excitement in you.

“both.”

“it’s either your coming in by your own will, or I’m dragging you in.”

“you touch me and I’ll hurt you — that’s a promise.”

a mischievous glint appears in lando’s eyes — he knew what he was about to do was going to get him in trouble, and most likely hurt in the end, but the thought of doing it overpowered his thoughts about what would happen after.

there was no going back.

in a split second lando had his arms wrapped around your waist as he dragged you closer to the lake — despite the heels of your feet digging into the ground, he had still succeeded in getting you close enough that if he threw his body weight towards the water, you would soon follow.

and that’s exactly what he did.

a laugh from lando, a squeal from you, and the whooshing of the air rushing past your ears was all you could hear before you found yourself submerged under the cold water.

you clawed your way back to the surface with the help of lando’s arms, which were still wrapped around your waist — as soon as you felt the coldness of the air reach your face, you were turning in his arms and swinging.

“I’m fully clothed you asshole!” you brought a fist down lightly on the top of his head — the water squishing out at the action.

“stop- don’t- stop hitting me!” lando laughed as he let you go, swimming backwards slightly as a way to get away from your violent swings. “I know that you're fully clothed- that's what makes it so funny,” the curly haired boy couldn't contain his laughter at the end — his voice railing into the squeaky laugher that you had come to love.

without the support of lando, paired with the additional weight of your heavy winter coat and soaked wool toque and mittens, you began to struggle slightly to stay afloat. “lando-” the water climbed its way up your face before washing back down as you kicked harder.

his laugher stopped as he kicked his way over to you — grabbing around your waist once more and holding you to his body.

with the distance closed between the two of you, the feeling of his warm breath against your face was unavoidable — as well as the feeling of the heat radiating from his body, even through the layers you had on. neither of you spoke, both trying not to move — for every movement brought a wave of discomfort with your muscles tensed up from the cold. but as time started to tick slower, and all you could feel was the other — the last thing on both of your minds was the temperature of the water.

“you’re turning blue, lando,” as much as you wished you would've stayed in that position forever, the sight of lando’s cheeks and lips draining of its naturally pink colour concerned you. even with layers upon layers of clothes on, you found yourself shivering — and with lando in nothing but his boxers, you doubted he was doing much better than you. “I think right now is a good time to get out,” lando didnt reply, only bringing the two of you closer to the shore.

with chattering teeth, bodies curled in, and fast feet, lando and you made your way to his car — both jumping in the minute you could get your hands on the door handle. neither of you cared for the seats wetting as you sat down.

“I think I have some towels in the back from my training — can you grab them? I’ll get the heat and everything going,” you leaned into the back of the car to the best of your ability, pulling two towels out of an orange gym bag, and bringing them to the front where lando and you sat.

lando wrapped the towel around his shoulders — the shaking constant and harsh, rocking his body violently.

“I would say I told you so, but I feel too bad to even insult you,” with your jacket, toque, and mittens stippped off and thrown onto the floor, you wrapped your towel around your shoulders much like lando had.

“awe, youre so considerate — I didn’t think it through.”

“trust me — I can tell.”

the sound of the heaters on blast and the clattering of teeth was all that filled the car. lando had seemed aggravated at your comment — the way his body turned slightly away from your own, his eyes never meeting yours, and the fact that there was no laugh following or during his words.

what had you said or done that pissed him off?

“are you mad at me?”

lando turned slowly, his eyes still not fully meeting yours — but he looked like he was less angry and more conflicted. “I’m not mad, I’m just- just,” the words were on the tip of his tongue, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to say them. “forget it.”

“no, I wanna know what's wrong — please tell me?”

he angled his body to face yours after a few moments of no response, making it so him and you looked at eachother with ease. “back out there on the lake- did you… did you feel anything?” your body tensed at his question — it was the last thing that you thought would come out of his mouth, so it took you by surprise. “because I know I did — and that scares me.”

you struggled to find a string of words that made sense to you, “I mean, yeah I guess I did — what did you feel? just so I can make sure that I felt the same thing.”

“I felt like I wanted to stay in that position forever — like I wanted to kiss you,” the words he spoke were soft and genuine. “all I felt was you.”

it had taken months for you to put a name to the feelings you had when you were around the british boy, but now, more than ever, did you finally know what they were.

they were love.

“I felt the same thing — all that I could feel was you and your stupidly perfect body against mine,” both of you giggled slightly at that. “and all that was running through my head was that if you had asked me to do anything with you, I would have done it — hell you could have asked me to marry you with paper rings and I would’ve said yes.”

lando stared at you with a calm look on his face — his eyes drinking you and all of your features in. “I’m glad — because I was thinking the same thing,” his hand fell on top of yours, bringing a warmth to the back of it. “and no need for paper rings when I can promise you the real deal when the time comes.”

“like I said before, I would marry you with paper rings lando,” you leaned in slightly, your voice barely above a whisper. “now kiss me you goof.”

he didn’t have to be asked twice.

[the-sapphire-general]

My Thoughts and Feelings About Sephiroth (Part 2)

There was originally going to be just one part about what I think and feel about Sephiroth, but it turns out I have more to say than I thought I did. You can say I'm passionate about Sephiroth. Not a day goes by without at least thinking about him several times. Lol Anyway, if you haven't read my previous post, here's the link because I will describe things I have said in the first part in more detail.

My Thoughts and Feelings About Sephiroth (Part 1)

As I mentioned before, I can identify with Sephiroth. At first I didn't consider him an idol considering how different we are, but I realized about the similarities we have, even if those similarities can be different. I hate mentioning my former friend, but she used to be someone that took advantage of me, a lot of the time without my knowledge. So I know how Sephiroth must have felt after discovering that everyone lied to him about his origins. Now his situation was extreme compared to mine, but the key thing is we were both betrayed somehow. It's difficult to handle, and we both took it hard, with Sephiroth taking it farther than me. Betrayal, whether big or small or somewhere in between the two, isn't pleasant, especially if those who betray you are people you thought you could trust. I know what that's like, and it's not an easy thing to just brush off as if it were nothing.

To further prove how Sephiroth and I are similar is our personality traits. For starters, we are both quiet. Now it's hard to tell online if someone is shy or outgoing, but believe me, I'm one quiet girl. I'm real timid in real life. I don't think Sephiroth was timid, and I bet he was just sheltered growing up. Be honest. Hojo sucked as a father, and Sephiroth wasn't treated like a human being. So Sephiroth may have been socially awkward, which can appear as timidity or coldness. I'm timid and I can get a bit anxious, but I hide it really well. I'm not a social butterfly, and neither is Sephiroth, but that doesn't mean I'm purposefully ignoring others. It's just I'm not good at socializing. I am socially awkward myself and people have to get to know me to know the real me. Others saw Sephiroth as cold and distant, but they didn't even try to get to know him. Angeal Hewley and Genesis Rhapsodos saw past this and became his friends. Sadly others see me as cold and distant as well, and to be honest it hurts. I bet it bothered Sephiroth as well. Or maybe he didn't care, I don't know. I'll believe that it did bother him. Of course, despite our shortcomings, Sephiroth and I do have friends (well, Sephiroth used to have friends). I may struggle to be social, but I can bond with others. I mean, hello! I have my boyfriend, his friends, my family, my own friends, and my online friends. Sephiroth had a few close friends, but at least it's something. Angeal and Genesis. I swear, if things didn't get so screwed up, they would have been best friends forever. Heck, Zack could have been a great friend to Sephiroth if he was given the opportunity. In a way, they could have helped Sephiroth back in Nibelheim, but the damage is already done.. What I'm trying to say is I understand this real well because I've been there. It just makes me want to give Sephiroth a hug and possibly a kiss to comfort him and let him know that I care. Though he might be annoyed by my affection. Lol

The next similarity we have is we're intelligent. Unfortunately a lot of people don't see me as intelligent, but Sephiroth's intelligence is what has me striving to prove to others that I am all while improving my own intelligence. They just see me as a girl with average intelligence and I was once accused of being an idiot. I wonder if Sephiroth had naysayers always doubting him. Looks can be deceiving. I'm not what others claim that I am, and it's annoying. This brings me to my next point. When Sephiroth was still part of SOLDIER, others might have perceived him as so many things, which includes being cold and distant and such. I've said this already, but this isn't just assuming that someone is cold or timid or whatever personality trait. It's about others assuming things about others that may be false. Sephiroth didn't consider himself to be better than everyone else (prior to Nibelheim of course). Heck, he didn't even show interest in fame to the point that he allowed Genesis to take it, possibly unaware that he was jealous of him. Maybe he tried to do that to ease his jealousy. Though Genesis should have handled his jealousy better. Before you assume anything about a person, either get to know the person or keep it to yourself until you see who they really are. Otherwise, it can be damaging to them. It was to Sephiroth. Something tells me all those soldiers had mixed opinions about Sephiroth, many of them potentially formed out of false assumptions and simple ignorance. Okay I'm getting too deep into this due to my own personal experiences, so I will switch to the next similarity.

Sephiroth and I hate certain people. How else can I explain my former friend that I have mentioned plus other people? Although Sephiroth took it to an extreme and hates everyone, I can still relate. Now it doesn't mean I will be as destructive and cruel as Sephiroth, but I can relate. Everyone at ShinRa treated Sephiroth like an experiment without his knowledge. He was never told about his origins. He never knew his parents. Then again, never finding out that Hojo is his father is a blessing (unless he somehow found out already?). He was deceived and manipulated ever since the day he was born. Correction, he was manipulated BEFORE he was born! He has the right to hate those who mistreated him. However, that doesn't justify any of the horrible things he did. Now my case is nothing compared to Sephiroth's since I was simply deceived by certain people, but my dislike for them is reasonable. Seriously, who would be able to let someone pretend to be your friend only to harm you emotionally and verbally, try to control you, spread lies about you, and basically destroy you? That's what my former friend did, and I hate her. All the bullies I've encountered throughout school? I hate them too. But that doesn't mean I would try to hurt them back because that wouldn't make me any better than them. I was given one opportunity to tell off my former friend online after I cut off contact for years. I told her to get well because she was sick, but she was getting better. She insulted me, not directly, but she did imply it. I was furious. But what did I do? I kept my mouth shut, told her to have a good life, and bid her farewell. Telling her everything that she made me feel and how much I loathe her would have only caused trouble, and the last thing I need is for her to stalk me online or try to pick a fight with me since she's freaking insane. She got angry over tiny things, physically assaulted someone just for being rude, as in getting into a conversation between the skank and someone else. Like what the fuck?! She could have told him to wait until she was finished. She was not psychologically well in my opinion, but I'm not one to confirm it because I'm not a psychologist. I thought she had changed but I was wrong. All my suspicions I had about her have been confirmed. Everything. And I vowed to never speak to her ever again. So Sephiroth and I may have handled our hate differently, but it still counts as something we have in common. Looking back, I see Sephiroth as an extreme version of my hate, anger, and pain, making me picture what I would have been like if I had taken it too far. It's a bit terrifying for me to imagine, and I am glad that I have more good inside me.

Now the next thing is something that still affects me to this day, and it's this. Sephiroth and I have felt like we were different, that we didn't belong anywhere. Having an identity crisis isn't fun, and Sephiroth is proof of that. He's not like everyone else. He's the only one with long silver hair and green cat-like eyes, he's part-alien, he's the strongest of all, and he always felt different because of this. I feel like I'm different because I'm not as outgoing as many people, I get worried about what others think of me, I'm not as confident in myself and my talents, and people don't pay attention to a wallflower like me. So I'm trying to improve myself and find my own place where I belong. Sephiroth found his, albeit in a rather dark way, but I have yet to find myself. But I know I will soon, and I have loved ones who can help me.

With all of this that I've said so far, Sephiroth means a lot to me. He means a lot to me more than I thought, and just by typing this, I'm realizing that he's a character that I love and admire in the exact same level as Sonic the Hedgehog. And as silly as it may sound, I get defensive when others talk smack about my favorite fictional characters like Sephiroth. Why? Because he's someone that I can identify with, regardless of the myriad of contrasting characteristics that we have. Opposites attract!

Now what else I wish to talk about related to Sephiroth...Well, there's his current self. I can hear those that say he's a cruel bastard that will kill you at first glance in milliseconds. My boyfriend and his friends think so. Well, you know what? It's bullshit. If that were true, then why didn't he kill Zack, Tifa, and Cloud immediately? Why didn't he kill Cloud and his team right away during numerous points in the game (other than the fact he needed Cloud to get the Black Materia for him)? Because he's not just a one-track mindless killing machine! This may be an unpopular opinion, but really, Sephiroth doesn't go just "Kill kill kill! Stab stab stab!". You kiss him on the cheek, stab. You compliment him on his looks, stab. You try to join him in his cause, stab. You try to have small talk, STAB! It's boring, predictable, and annoying. Do you really think I would do that on my Sephiroth blog? I would have grown tired of it! I deleted the posts about this, but do you want to know how many characters, users, or whatever I've had Sephiroth kill in roleplays???........One. That's right. One, a character that a friend roleplays as here on Tumblr, in a span of....a year-and-a-half, I think? If I had followed the "logic" of Sephiroth the utterly mindless killing machine and does nothing else, I would have had him impale over 1000 characters, users, anons, etc., maybe 10,000. You get my point.

This sort of thing strips everything about Sephiroth. He's cunning, arrogant, and manipulative, so of course I would have to implement that in his interactions if I want him to harm or kill a character, for example. And in some cases, I portray Sephiroth as just being intimidating, mistrustful, and bitter towards characters. In others, he is intrigued by who he's talking to, and he shows a range of emotions (as long as they fit him). I make him multidimensional. Really, try portraying Sephiroth as just a killing machine and nothing else and see how long it takes for you to get tired of taking out tons of people's muses in split seconds. I'm sorry if this portion became somewhat of a rant but it has been bugging me. Moving on to another Sephiroth subject.

Ahhhh, the theories. I almost forgot about them. Let's see, the lab rat theory is kind of possible, but ShinRa didn't blatantly abuse him. Otherwise, Sephiroth would have had serious psychological issues prior to Nibelheim. If he had endured severe physical and psychological abuse, he wouldn't be calm and collected. Of course he was abused to a degree, but the thing is he didn't know he was abused. He had no idea ShinRa used him as just a tool. That's clever of them. Cruel and despicable, but clever. They had to be discreet or else Sephiroth would have questioned their motives early on or tried to get away from them. Sephiroth was their puppet, which does explain why he referred to Cloud as his puppet. If others manipulated him to screw him over, he will do the same back at them. Sephiroth basically gave them a taste of their own medicine. Unfortunately, he takes it out on the whole planet. Think about it, though. He was deceived and manipulated by others, and this is his way of showing others that he will never allow himself to be controlled by anyone anymore. And this brings me to the next theory.

Jenova possessing Sephiroth is a famous theory and I don't blame people for believing and supporting this. I confess that I used to believe this theory as well, but as I looked back at the events of Crisis Core and Final Fantasy 7, it doesn't make sense. First of all, after being used by an evil company his entire life, why would Sephiroth allow himself to be controlled by an alien that arrived to the Planet millennia ago? Yes, he was at the library at ShinRa Manor for a week reading endlessly about his origins without sleeping, and possibly eating or drinking anything. Obviously that must have left him vulnerable, but I don't believe Sephiroth would have been brainwashed easily. He was controlled by ShinRa, and he wasn't going to allow anyone else to control him again, especially Jenova. Sephiroth was the one who controlled her, not the other way around. If Jenova had gained control, that would undermine Sephiroth's reputation as the main antagonist of FF7. He is the villain, the real villain, not Jenova. Sephiroth burned down Nibelheim. Sephiroth killed many people. Sephiroth killed Aeris (or Aerith) in FF7. Sephiroth summoned Meteor to injure the Planet in order to absorb its life stream to become a god. Sephiroth created the Remnants to achieve his goal to claim the Planet as his own, become an unstoppable god, and bring despair to those who stand in his way. It's all Sephiroth. And besides, Jenova is a parasite. I doubt she would have planned all of this before trying to destroy the planet. I also doubt she's even alive. Sephiroth is the master of his ongoing desire to take back what he believes is his planet, conquer it as a god, and destroy anyone who stands in his way.

Alright then, this post has gone long enough. Now I'm not sure if this is all I have to say about Sephiroth. Well, I assumed that I did’t have much else to say in the previous post, and look! Here's another one. I like doing this sort of thing. It makes me feel good and I just love Sephiroth. I could go on forever if I want, but I’ll end it here. I hope you liked this and if there’s any more things that I haven’t said here, I’ll make sure to do a third part.