#it wasn’t haha funny but i thought it was ironic

[alaskan-wallflower]

kind of funnyish but when i saw the outsiders musical there’s a dinner scene between the curtis brothers and at the end of bows i remember i think it was brody and jason and brent? (my eyes aren’t the most reliable, they all kind of look the same except pony because he’s got the fluffy hair or the sasuke on crack wig) ran back to the table and just started wolfing a bit of the food down before waving goodbye with their mouths full and running off and it was such a curtis brothers thing to do.

[boydepartment]

still into you- nishimura riki x reader

a/n: THIS WAS REQUESTED BY ONE OF MY ANONS HERE!

request: now months later reader's in the practice room, late at night on the floor, catching their breath while the music plays in the background softly. it was then when Ni-Ki slams open the door not expecting anyone to be there and their eyes meet through the reflection of the mirror dance rooms have

warnings- none tbh :3 just both of them being goofy

wc- 300-400

MASTERLIST

sprawling out on the practice room floor was like clockwork to you. especially after a long day of dancing and cardio.

it helped to keep you distracted too, your work was everything to you. it helped fill a void that you didn’t even want to think about right now.

you stretched out hearing a couple pops, laughing to yourself before flipping on your stomach to go on your phone.

frowning when you turned it on it was a wallpaper of you and your ex. you really need to delete it, it was still in the wallpaper album that changes it every hour.

it was just a reminder of the void, you weren’t even mad at him anymore. you missed him and wished you had communicated with him more. it’s one of your biggest regrets…

sighing you opened tiktok so you could have your break. your music from your ipad connected to the speakers playing softly in the background. ironically enough still into you by paramore was playing.

you were about to like a video when the door slammed open, scaring you so bad you jumped back.

“GO AWAY IM ABOUT TO PRACTICE!” the boy laughed before walking in, not even taking in your presence as he was looking down at his phone.

for a split second you took in his appearance now. it changed a lot, he looked like he bulked up, his hair was cut shorter, WAS THAT A TATTOO ON HIS FOREARM?

you blinked and he finally looked up at you, “oh.”

oh? that’s all he was gonna say to you? OH? after months of not talking… OH???

“um.” you quickly got up, grabbing your ipad, phone, and hoodie, “you can have the room haha it’s fine anyways-“

“wait no…” riki quickly ran to the door and blocked it, as you were making a beeline to the exit.

you looked up at him, your stuff pooling out of your hands, “get out of my way!”

“no!”

“what the hell!” you started to laugh, “you can have the practice room! let me go!”

“no!” riki said again, now using his arms and legs to block the door, “please don’t leave i really- i just-“

you set your stuff down by your feet, “you need to what? finally explain yourself, apologize for being a dick?”

riki was about to talk, “i-“ he put his hand up, “yeah…”

“little late for that.” you went to pick up your stuff again and you saw him trying to look through his brain for anything. his body slumping against the door now.

part of you felt kinda bad. the breakup was a little messy, him being busy, him not being able to tell you that he loves you, you both being a little short tempered. it just wasn’t the right time for either of you. you didn’t hold bad blood or anything. it was just awkward

you grabbed your stuff properly this time, “okay, move. it’s not funny or cute anymore.”

“anymore? you thought it was funny and cute before?” he put his hands and legs almost in a starfish position again against the door. grinning with that all too familiar mischievous smile of his.

“riki! i’m serious! i’ve been practicing forever, i smell bad and i need to get food!” you tried to move past him. you couldn’t help the small giggles escaping you.

“no! i can’t! i need to tell you that im in love with you still and im sorry i didn’t say it before because i was scared to!” at this point he was word vomiting.

you looked up at him, “you are?”

riki’s eyes were still closed, he nodded rapidly, the last nod he hit his head against the door. which left you falling over laughing.

riki looked horrified, did he just embarrass himself? what if you had another boyfriend already? or girlfriend? it’s been months.

“you’re so cute.”

oh…

his ears turned bright red as he watched you laughing on the floor. you looked up at him with that same sweet smile you had previous to your breakup. he sat down on the floor in front of you.

“i meant what i said…” he said as your laughter died down and you were left staring at eachother.

you smiled at him again, “i still love you.”

his eyes widened and he smiled back, “you do?”

“yes i do.”

he jumped up and did a little dance before grabbing your hands and lifting you up. hugging you and swinging you around.

“i love you so much i’m sorry i didn’t say it before. i really do love you.” he set you down, “even if you smell bad after practicing.”

you shoved his shoulder and riki laughed, “i’m kidding i’m kidding!”

you hugged him again, your arms shaking around his waist.

“can i come with you to eat dinner then?”

“as my boyfriend or my ex?” you mumbled. you felt his arms hold you back, his chin on your head.

“as your boyfriend obviously… if that’s okay…”

you smiled up at him, “yeah that’s okay, if you’re okay with me being stinky?”

he sighs dramatically and raises his eyebrows, “guess thats okay.”

you both start laughing before getting into a debate on what to eat together.

[schoolmysteryno69]

META ANALYSIS - Mitsukou (part 1)

General topic - how they’re written as a one of the romantic couples in the story

Before I start, I need to say few things:

1. I’m not native english speaker. I’m probably going to make a lot of errors and mistakes, mix times, have a lacking vocabulary etc. Please be ready for it. I want to write my meta post anyway, so I would be happy if you will stay to the end with me!

2. If you do not like Mitsukou/hate this ship or anything like that - maybe this post it's not for you. It's totally okay to ship different thing and like different things, I don’t mind. My post is not a starter for a discussion tho, I’m not interested in discourses, argues and hate. I don’t really plan to “prove” anything to anyone or force you to change your mind, whole post is only MY analysis and my point of view. You are not obligated to feel the same way I feel, to see things the same way I see them. 

3. I’m not interested in proving if Mitsukou is going to ever be canon or anything. I don’t know that. I’m also not going to analyze if they’re ever going to be a CANON COUPLE or an ENDGAME COUPLE. It’s only about if they’re written as a romantic relationship, and being written as a romantic couple =/= being a canon couple, they’re a lot of pairs in media that definitely are written as a romantic relationship without them being together ever or being an endgame. I’m not going to speculate about endgame, especially when one of the characters is supernatural and one is a human. 

Okay, I think we can start now!

Let's start from the beginning. Because my first language is not english my post may be a little bit chaotic, putting all my thoughts in at least some order and with at least some sense it's actually hard, haha. In part 1 I will try to cover the first meeting between Kou and the ghost of Mitsuba.

So!

They first met during chapter 18. And it was meeting between Kou and ghost of a Mitsuba Sousuke, so it wasn’t our currently Mitsuba - it worth to mention they're not the same person, even if they are extremely similar, share a lot elements of their personalities, they look nearly the same, and current Mitsuba even share some dead Sousuke's memories because of School Mystery No. 4 Shijima Mei and her Picture Perfect arc. Still - not the same person and Mitsuba Kou met in chapter 18 is not the current Mitsuba. 

At the beginning they're not really that much written as a romantic, their short arc was more like something starting Kou’s personal arc and his development. He got some background, some motivation, some angst, he changed. For most part Kou behaved pretty normal, just like himself - a selfless, lively boy that really wanted to help a lonely, sad ghost that Mitsuba was. (he wasn’t traumatized yet). Even if some of their interaction could be readed with a shippy glasses, there wasn’t anything that was inherently romantic about them. 

I think it's kind of ironic how this is literally their first panel in the manga. Mitsuba literally looks like some kind of eldritch horror and he says “Did you forget about me?”. Yeah Kou, did you? This quite sums some elements of their arc. We know that Kou actually did forget about Mitsuba, who was one of his classmates. Also, Kous' trauma, related to everything that happened to Mitsuba, hunts him for the rest of the story. He also, clearly has a problem with recognition of both Mitsubas, with dealing with Ghost Mitsuba death and with the idea of forgetting someone and leaving someone. We also know that, when current!Mitsuba was made by Tsukasa, he didn’t remember Kou. That's why this quote here is very ironic. 

There is nothing really to analyze here but I find it funny. Yeah, you quite literally just haunted the wrong guy and it’s going to be a problem for you and said guy for the next 15 volumes of the manga. Good luck. 

Even after calling Mitsuba an “evil spirit” Kou still tries to help him and even decides to “take the big tough guy approach” to make Mitsuba feel safer about him. Kou is not really “the big tough guy”, even if he tries to pose as one. He is a 14 yo kid with kind of fucked up situation in life, even, if he doesn’t recognize it yet. 

Maybe you could learn something from Kous stupid earning, mr. boy who DIED in the car accident.

It's definitely not an accident that Mitsuba died hit by a car and Kou has a BIG earning with a big caption “TRAFFIC SAFETY”. Even after reading all chapters up to 103 I’m not really sure how I should interpret this exact symbolism in their relationship, but it's definitely done on purpose by the authors. I think it may symbolize that Kou, with a “traffic safety” earning will save Mitsuba, who previously died in a traffic accident from dying another time? Like, now Mitsuba have Kou by his side and maybe Kou will manage to keep him safe. His earning is mentioned by Mitsuba too many times, it's done so we can notice it, for sure. And I wonder how it turns out. 

It’s the first time Mitsuba suggests that Kou either has some kind of feelings toward him, tries to do something dirty towards him or something similar. Every time he just jokes or tries to provoke Kou or something like that. At first I thought it's just how Mitsuba is, some people love to joke like that, but then I noticed, later in the story, that Kou is quite literally the only person Mitsuba ever does this to. Sure he does not have many friends “his age” but still during the manga it would be possible for him to behave like that toward other characters, but he does not. He jokes like that only toward Kou and I think during the next parts of my writing I will point it out more.

Even after 20 minutes of insulting he is still concerned about Mitsuba. That's so funny and sweet. 

Yeeeaaah sure it totally does not relate in any way to the fact that ghost Motsuba got to die after taking a photo of KOU out of everything yeeeeaaaah nada nope. It's crazy how the authors planned this because Hanako really started as some kind of funny manga about kids and ghosts and supernatural things, but the angst we get later is actually top notch and kinda scary. There was few moments I really had to like, stand up and walk in my room because of the emotions I felt after reading.

Look how happy he is with the idea of being a model to the Mitsubas photos. He is bright, smiling and even blushing. The next ironic thing is how he cried after actually seeing a picture of himself made by Mitsuba. Also I like how prominent his earning is here.

Mitsuba is very particular, he really made pictures only of animals, plants and other non-human things. That's probably why his photo of Kou hit me like a train. That's literally narratively confirming that Mitsuba saw Kou as something (someone) he likes, someone that is important to him. Kou also realized it after seeing the picture, that was one of the reasons why he was so devastated.

There are few things about that whole scene I would like to point up. The first are doves. Mitsuba, especially Ghost Mitsuba, is often presented with doves as a form of his symbolism. Doves and cherry blossoms are probably the most prominent symbols of his character. I’m not really that good when it comes to symbols, but I think doves symbolize things like peace, but also some form of innocence/purity and love. Some sources also say about transformation and spirituality. I think one of the reasons for choosing doves is to symbolize how he didn’t deserve to die like that, that his soul is actually good and seeks for peace. In Kou’s eyes he is also someone innocent, definitely. Especially when we are talking about ghost Mitsuba at the beginning of a story. 

ALSO I’m pretty sure birds are foreshadowing to current!Mitsuba being made from the school mystery no. 3 who looked like a bird and who current!Mitsuba gained a lot of his characteristics from. Current!Mitsuba hair looks like feathers, his hand looks like talons etc. He is heavily associated with birds from the beginning. Even if Ghost!Mitsuba is associated with doves more and current!Mitsuba with ravens or crows. 

The next thing about this scene is Kou finally realizing he knew Mitsuba and it hit him. Understanding that Mitsuba actually KNEW Kou and it was Kou who didn’t remember him probably made him feel remorse and generally really bad about himself. That’s not a nice thing if you forget about a boy who was with you in a class, and the fact that ghost Mitsuba actually tried to talk to him and asked him “Did you forget about me”... It's hard for me to even imagine what Kou felt at that moment. 

Also, Mitsuba surely didn’t know about Kou being from an exorcist family, so he wouldn't expect that Kou will take direct action after meeting a ghost lol. If it comes to Mitsuba, I’m pretty sure it was very scary.

I wish we could see more of them like that. Just like two boys having fun with each other. I love angst, trust me. But I think they deserve rest and to just have a chance to play and talk a be… normal for once. Everytime when they get a chance to have fun they’re cute and hilarious together. 

Rain can symbolize sadness and hard emotions soooo yeah, I’m not surprised it started raining. I think it sort of symbolizes feelings of both Kou and Mitsuba here.

They’re going to the third floor and I’m sure it's foreshadowing to Mitsuba becoming a School Mystery no. 3. 

I’m still impressed how much foreshadowing is during their first meeting (chap 18-20). Like the birds, nr 3, traffic safety earning, motif of remembering/forgetting etc. You could also think that photography would be something like that but… it's not. Photography becomes a thing that is helping recognizing human/ghost Mitsuba from current supernatural Mitsuba. They’re similar but not the same person. Photos were one of the main characteristics of the original Mitsuba, both in this arc and during a moment with Mitsubas mother later. It was always about photos, but it's never about photos when it comes to our current Mitsuba.

Yeah, that kind of explains why Kou didn’t remember him immediately, even after seeing how Mitsuba looks and hearing his surname he should know. Because, like, Kou should remember him, they were in the same class, sit close to each other etc. But the mask that Mitsuba created was so strong that made him nearly imperceptible (like, you know, a ghost hah) and at this point tbh I don’t think Mitsuba liked it very much. He is actually a pretty bold and cocky person and all of this probably bugged him. Of course he wasn’t bullied, but was it worth becoming somebody different, somebody boring and bland to others? I think there is some form of regret. But also I don’t think that ALL of this was a mask, because Mitsuba definitely has some of a calmer and more sweet side to himself, he showed it a lot of times.

He tries to fix it up by recognizing him now for who he is. With both his positive and negative aspects, even if he points out mostly his flaws. Still, this is the Mitsuba he met, the Mitsuba he knows and the Mitsuba he IS GOING TO remember. Mitsuba he befriended now. It actually means a lot for Sousuke. He is dead, he may have thought that it's the end for him and for all of his relationships he ever had. Its funny how Mitsuba said he is a ghost because he still wanted to do photos, but the truth is he wanted relationships, but the true ones. Not based on his “fake” nice self, but on real him with all his flaws and that's why he haunted other students rather than just… go do photos or something. He tried to connect to others, because he subconsciously thought relationships and friends he had when he lived weren’t really true and real. It’s ironic how it resembles the current!Mitsuba in Picture Perfect act. 

Kou started to realize who Mitsuba was and how tragic his situation was, he started to empathize. Kou has a martyr complex, so he wanted to help Mitsuba any way he could. It was also shown that he does LIKE Mitsuba even with his twisted personality, Kou said it himself and it surely means a lot for Mitsuba who wasn’t liked before for his true personality. That was probably the moment Mitsuba felt a real bond towards Kou and become attached to him. 

And Kou even blushed a few times.That would still be read as platonic and sweet tho!. I think it was, personally. The most important thing during their first meeting was, of course, how it ended, because, in my opinion, it was a moment when most (not all tho) Kou's mental problems started. There was still his family, of course. Teru loves Kou very much, but still his mentality and behavior was a root for Kou’s low self esteem and some other elements of his personality, tho I think it may be a topic for a whole different post.

In this small arc, in my opinion, the moment that was the beginning of me perceiving them as written as one of the couples, a romantic relationship was this exact moment:

“I don’t know… maybe something important to me?” 

And also a moment when Kous saw this picture for the first time, when he developed photos, and how this cracked him.

Generally, becoming friends with Mitsuba was very important to Kou. Not only because he wanted to help him (and, internally, also making Kou feel better about himself) but also it was probably the first time when… Kou may feel somewhat special? He always was in the shadow of Teru, he wasn’t an “official” exorcist, he wasn't going to missions in the town, he wasn’t very strong (Hanako literally KO’ed him without a sweat and Kou couldn't do much to Hanako), the girl he got a small crush on (Nene) clearly had something with Hanako… Kou was always pushed back and now, with Mitsuba, he made an actually special relationship between the only two of them. He felt NEEDED, and we all know how much Kou desperately needs to feel NEEDED. In his own mind, he was the only one that could help Mitsuba and that understood Mitsuba, that's why Mitsubas ghost death was so hard for him. He finally got something special for himself and he couldn't even protect it and he let lonely, poor ghost tragically vanish. That's some trauma for you.

I’m not going to write much about Mitsubas feelings there because it was Sousuke Mitsubas feelings - and currently I’m going to focus more on a School Mystery Mitsuba. Tho Sousuke definitely perceived Kou and his help as something special to him. That's where their fated bond started. 

“You can help me develop them tomorrow and then… I think I’ll be okay”.

Yet we can’t see his eyes when he speaks, and that suggests he thinks something different that what he speaks. Not showing eyes is a common motif to show that a character is lying or saying something he does not think or hiding something. Here is just like that - it’s not about photos, it's about KOU. It’s because of Kou he is going to be okay, not because of the photos he took today. Something changed for Mitsuba when Kou recognized him for someone he actually is and wanted to become friends with him. For Mitsuba it means a lot because when he was alive he couldn’t get true friends and real relationships with others. 

Yeah walk walk trauma baby. I know I mention  ‘trauma” a lot when it comes to Kou, but the whole manga is like a one big parade of traumas for this boy and it's not even funny. I’m not surprised he is starting to become more and more insane with every next arc. Especially in the Night Out small arc we can clearly see how detached from actual reality Kou starts to be and how he stops recognizing differencs between supernatural and real word, good and evil, selfless and selfish behavior etc. It’s all the result of the traumatic situations he was put in for like 16 volumes straight. And he is bearing it A LOT WORSE than Nene is.

Ouch. 

“You wished for people remembering you but now youre happy with just a one person?” That hits hard but also I’m angry at Tsukasa, like leave that boy alone.Even one person can make a change in someones life, and thats what Mitsuba felt at a moment. For Kou he was someone, he was real, he had a personality, Kou recognized him and that gives him a true sense of identity. For him it was enough

You met like half of a day before and you are calling him your friend and fighting for him with an unknown dangerous supernatural who looks exactly like your other friend. Bruh that's some dedication. Kou is desperate to save Mitsuba, but Kou is generally desperate to be a savior. He tries to “save” Nene a lot of times even if it’s not really necessary, because Nene also has other friends and people who support her and is pretty clever and capable of bearing problems on her own (most of the time). Yet Kou still treats Nene like some damsel in distress that need his protection when it's CLEARLY not like that. Sadly, Kou mostly fails anyway. He fails now with Mitsuba and if it comes to Nene, if she needs saving, the person who (usually) saves her is Hanako. Kou rarely has something he can actually do and it's cracking him up mentally.

Yeah, “I’m supernatural who grants wishes” not “I’m a ghost of a boy who once lived in this town”. Yeah. It was right here from the beginning.

I just hope it’s not a form of foreshadowing.

His last words were “Minamoto-kun”, it's so sad. On this last panel he actually looked a little brighter than on the previous panel of his transformation, and that's because he looked at Kou. 

I need to say, seeing a person you treat important to you and calling a friend dying in a horrible way and hearing their last words being your name must be pretty stressful. It would probably haunt me for a long time and I’m sure Kou is still affected by it.

On the 20 chapter cover Mitsuba is together with the rest of the main squad (Nene, Hanako, Kou). It was pretty weird back then - he literally died and looks like he was going to be a one-arc character that started Kous character development, but this cover was a hint that it's going to be different and Mitsuba, probably, is going to play a whole different role in the story. He, also, had a hand around Kous head and nearly touched his hair gently - its a symbol of intimacy. 

That was a proof how strong, narratively, their relationship is and is going to be during the progression of a story. And, in my opinion, a foreshadowing to Mitsubas feelings. Because I think currently, our Mitsuba is aware of his feelings toward Kou, but I’m going to cover this topic a little bit later. 

On this cover there is a lot more symbolism,especially with Hanako and his role in the story, but it's also a thing for a whole different post. 

What Tsukasa said was that Mitsubas wish was ‘“ want to stay with my friends forever and ever”.

That’s literally what I said earlier. 

It’s a recurring topic with current!Mitsuba and his relationship with Kou.  Mitsuba feels lonely and… Kou also feels lonely. Even if he has a brother, father and friends (Nene and Hanako and other school friends) Kou is incredibly lonely because of his inferiority complex. He desperately needed to be needed, needed to be special to someone, needed to be important to someone, and that person was Mitsuba. Right now, he is the most important person to Mitsuba and that's both good and very bad for Kou. Good because he finally feels like someone important and someones one and only, but bad because of how traumatic his relationship with Mitsuba is to him and how unhealthy it is. And by it I don’t mean  they’re toxic or bad people - they are kids who want to be loved and who want to have their place in the world. But Mitsuba is a monster, he is a supernatural, whos life is stained away by his instinct, who needs to eat other monsters and who does not really… have any actual bright future and Kou is traumatized boy with low self estem, problems with his selfworth, with martyr complex and some sort of suicidal tendencies. They have a lot to work out.

Kou is going to be a supernatural / is going to try to be a supernatural / is going to be forced to be supernatural - hint number one. 

Yes, I will go back to this topic, because I’m literally scared of it so much. It's prominent during the whole story that Kou is foreshadowed to have a plotline related to becoming supernatural in some way. And when this topic is touched it's usually related to his plotline with Mitsuba. I’m kind of scared of HOW it’s going to happen or if it’s going to be only a try or Kou really will become supernatural in some way. But it's too much of a recurring topic of Kous WHOLE character arc to not being important and to not happen. It's even hard to call it foreshadowing, its literal hints everywhere. 

Kou spent with Mitsuba literally… one day, outside of being in the same class for a while (Kou didn’t even remember this time THAT much, time they spend together this day was more important) and yet he CLINGED SO HARD to the idea that Mitsuba is his “friend”. He desperately needed to be wanted, needed, to have a special bond, to being able to help, to save someone. And yet he lost Mitsuba at this moment, he couldn't do shit to save him, he was absolutely… just useless during a fight. It affected him a lot. 

During the scene when Hanako “kills” Mitsuba, there are sakura petals. They’re heavily associate with Mitsuba and are one of his symbols:

This scene, narratively was a scene that said to us he is GONE. For good. It was a “goodbye” for him and Kou, he is dead. That's all. At this point we couldn't know we are going to meet current!Mitsuba, so we could thing that is the end of Mitsuba and the beginning of a Kous arc. And… it was both of these things but in the whole DIFFERENT meaning. Of course it was goodbye to the Sousuke, he is dead, he can’t come back. Of course it was a beginning for Kous development. But… it was also a beginning for our current!Mitsuba, for slowly progressing Kous insanity as an effect of his trauma and the beginning for Mitsuba and Kous actual arc and relationship. We thought it was the end but it was actually the beginning that changed… the whole Kou, to be honest.

I think it's related not only to Mitsuba but to Hanako, too. Imagine what Hanako could feel at that moment. He is a ghost and a supernatural who know how doomed he is and he only protects school and Nene. But Kou said it's bullshit and clearly believes in what he says. Sadly, Hanako is so stubborn.

One of the symbols related to Kou is a lion. Lions may symbolize a lot of things, like strength, courage but also - protection. Just like Kou tries to protect everyone and tries to be strong and courageous for others. I actually think it suits him quite well. Lions also symbolize the sun and it was shown a few times that Kou is like a sun to Mitsuba.

At some point of a story he is definitely going to do some crazy shit I’m telling you. He really tries to believe that he can find a way to change how the world works and it can end up good but.. it can also end up INCREDIBLY BAD. It’s not that good to mess up with life and death and when you cross up a border there is no coming back. With every arc the manga is becoming a little bit more dark and serious with topic it shows and och boy I’m kind of scared for Kou and Mitsuba.

You can literally hear me crying. It was probably the first moment in the manga that actually had any impact on me, I was really like… I had to stand and walk for a bit before reading. Kou sees a photo of himself and remembers Sousuke saying “Who knows? Maybe something important to me?” and starting crying was like. I wanted to cry too. I can’t even imagine what Kou felt at this moment, it was probably absolutely heartbreaking. 

This small arc finished with chapter 20.During the next arc, Kou, already  affected by Mitsubas death, gets to know that Nene also has a shortened lifespan and it's going to die very shortly. That wasn’t too good for his mental state and he literally fixated on a goal in saving her. When Kou learned about Nene’s situation, Hanako even related it to Mitsubas situation, so we can clearly understand these two examples are related to Kou. He doesn’t want this situation to happen again.

“Just like with this boy, there is nothing you can do” - Hanako you little shit

But yeah. Again Kou understands how useless he is. How weak he is, how he can’t save anyone the way he is. How he could do nothing about Mitsubas situation and how he can’t do nothing about Nene’s situation. That's tragic. And it's clear Kou doesn’t know what to do about it. Thats why, when current!Mitsuba appeared, he started to find such a ridiculous (and unhealthy) solutions to Mitsubas (and Kous) problems. He don't know what to do but desperately needs to do… something. Anything. To help, to be important. 

It's sad. He said he dont know what he is gonna do, but HE WILL DO SOMETHING. And yet… we know how it all goes for him. He is a brave kid, who is determined and wants others to be happy and alive. 

He even tried to stop a kiss between Hanako and Nene after reading Nenes book and failed. He always fails.

There is also an special page

It is titled “Love stories” that should be about Mitsuba. And it contains both Mitsuba and Kou. It's just a joke, but I need to point out that Mitsuba generally wasn’t shown to be interested in any girl during the progression of the story or never talked about it in general. He also does not crush on Nene, even when both Hanako and Kou felt something toward her at some point in the story.He also talks about how cute he is A LOT and I’m going to say something about it someday, but not now.

I think it's enough for part 1! I think I covered everything I wanted for their first meeting. Let's see at Mitsubas resurrection in the Hell of Mirrors!

[echo-rambles]

Fuck it- it's fine!

words: 1830 summary: inspired by the general vibe of bad idea right? by olivia rodrigo. tags: past established relationship, ex-boyfriend bang chan, best friend felix, suggestive content but nothing explicit note: first ever reader insert fic I've written! that's probably why it's pretty introspective and there's not much chan. I just wanted to get the feeling of writing reader insert so I hope it's not too terrible! please enjoy~

-o0o-

To be completely fair, you were the one who messaged him first. Could it be seen as slightly desperate? Maybe. But in your defense, you were pretty drunk and left unsupervised.

That doesn’t mean it’s not a complete shock to your system when you wake up the next morning and notice that he messaged you back. Which, ok. What an absolutely wild turn of events seeing as how he’s meant to be the mature adult of the relationship. (his words, thrown out midst argument) 

Once you blink away the hungover fog and wade through the low lying panic, you find it a little funny, actually. Your text, the first between the two of you in months, is embarrassing and filled with a few too many emojis- it’s the epitome of a drunk text to your ex who you might have been missing at the peak of your intoxication. 

The funny part is that he had texted back, playing into your theatrics. Maybe it’s not funny in a haha way. Maybe it’s funny in an ironic sort of way. The guy that once told you that you’re incredibly impulsive and never think things through, replying to you and not even scolding you. 

Ok, so maybe he was a little bit correct and you are impulsive, because the next thing you know your fingers are tapping away at your phone screen and you're replying to his reply as if this is something the two of you still do. There’s been a whole lot of maybes filling up your head far too early in the morning, but maybe this could be something you two do. Like, maybe it can become normal again. 

>I hope you’re drinking water to combat all the vodka you must have drank to use seven whole emojis in a row. 

<I demolished an entire water bottle when I got home last night but sadly it wasn’t enough to save me 

You’ve crawled your way out of bed and are in the middle of trying to wash up to feel human again when your phone buzzes. Thankfully you’re alone in your bathroom or else it would be embarrassing how quickly you check who the new text is from.

Before you can unlock your phone and reply to the notif saying something about ‘RIP you should’ve drank three…’ another message pops up, staring at you from the lock screen, half of the message fading off in an ellipses. 

You still have his contact saved. Somehow that’s the first thing you think, so incredibly belatedly. In your defense you thought deleting it would be stupid, seeing as how you share friends and what if Felix was in trouble and the only way anyone could reach you was through your ex-boyfriend? It’s a flimsy excuse but you clung to it at the time. 

For a while his contact was changed to HEARTBREAKER, all in caps with broken heart emojis book ending it. At some point you changed it again, hating the reminder the name would elicit every time you scrolled past it. It just made you feel bad, to be honest. Not in a guilt way, but in the way of it settling all weird in your stomach. 

So now he’s filed under a very polite and professional Bang Christopher Chan. It feels safer this way. The least amount of intimacy possible. 

Looking at it now, knowing that there’s multiple messages attached to it because you were drunk and then half asleep and he’s apparently a child who can’t just ignore you- it feels like a stupidly personal inside joke. Which is stupid. It’s his name. 

>I know this is last minute, but I was wondering if we c…

This is not something you can read by yourself while still hungover and sleepy. Absolutely not. Any sort of question he has will have to be dealt with once you’ve consumed a sufficient amount of caffeine. 

“What do you think it says?” You ask, a little bit later after your second cup of coffee. 

Felix barely even moves his head from where it’s resting against the table. He’s clearly just as hungover as you are, but you feel like you’re in the middle of making a very bad decision and you need a second opinion. You shimmy your phone under the seam where his forehead meets the wood. 

With a little pout and deep groan, he’s shifting around and waking up your phone to stare at the lock screen. The silence stretches on as he stares, blinks, and blinks some more. With a start, he’s sitting up straight, pulling the phone closer. 

“I thought you said you didn’t want to talk to him-”

“I’m aware of what I said! But that was also like, months ago, and we’re both totally over it-”

“It felt like you two went through a divorce, I don’t know if a few months is long enough-”

“I’m over it!” You proclaim, a little loudly. A little desperately. “And he is too if he’s talking to me.” 

Felix says your name, with that specific tone like he wants to say something but doesn’t know how. So, like a normal, emotionally stable adult, you completely ignore him and instead scoop up your phone. Suddenly the nerves over wondering exactly what Chan wanted to ask you have been replaced with a confidence only born from needing a distraction. 

Finally, you read the text he sent. 

>I know this is last minute, but I was wondering if we could maybe grab lunch? Or, if you’re still too hungover for lunch, maybe something later? 

Oh. Definitely the beginning of a very bad idea. 

<you paying??

>Of course I am >When was the last time you paid?

Uncalled for, but also completely fair.

<then sure count me in

It all feels way too easy. Like the last few months have just been- what, erased? Ignored? Boxed away so you can talk about it later? But hey, that’s a problem for the future version of yourself. 

“Did you just agree to spend time with him?” Felix asks, because of course he does. Are you really that predictable? 

“Maybe.”

Shaking his head, Felix sits back in his seat. “You know I love you both, but I don’t know if this is a great idea.”

“It doesn’t have to be romantic! We’re just meeting up, like friends do.” The silence is practically palpable. “We can be friends! We’re both adults- we can totally be friends.” 

Felix gives you possibly the most pitying look you’ve ever seen on his angelic little face.

-o0o-

Ok. Maybe you can’t be friends. The two of you started off as friends, definitely. You built your whole relationship off of being friends. But somewhere along the way something got all gummed up. Being together dissolved into months of barely even talking to each other. 

You were hoping that could change tonight. After getting all dressed up- because you wanted to feel pretty and you couldn’t remember the last time you got dressed up, thank you very much Minho. With his judging eyebrow and the way he clicked his tongue when you told him about the text messages and your dinner plans. Just because you were meeting up with someone who you used to give hickeys to had nothing to do with the dress you wore. 

(it absolutely did but no one had the right to know.)

It started off as just something casual. Stilted awkward conversation as you both tried to remember how to be civil around each other. It came a lot easier to Chan, as always. But you missed this. You missed being in the same space as him and hearing his voice and god Felix was right, you’re so incredibly weak. 

You wanted to try and be friends again so badly. But you were absolutely lying to yourself, big time, because the second that he smiled- that small little smile where he ducks his head and bites at his lip, oh you were gone. 

Currently you’re being pinned to the wall with his tongue down your throat and you can’t really think straight. 

Somehow you went from a casual get together to this. Attacking each other's faces like starving animals who haven’t eaten in weeks. It’d be embarrassing if it weren’t for the way Chan is so clearly feeling the exact same things you are. Your hands are running through his hair and his hands are anchored to your hips, and he still tastes the same. He still makes the same little noises when you drag your teeth along the edge of his jaw. 

It’s so fucking familiar and you already feel like you could drown in it. 

You should probably talk about this. The making out, yes, absolutely, but also the last few months and the texts and him asking to see you out of the blue. It should be talked about, right? Except what would you even say? You’ll just rehash the same things you’ve been saying. You felt ignored and he felt suffocated and you could never find a way to meet in the middle because you’re both stubborn. 

You should say something though, right? Right? 

The press of his hand against the dip of your waist, pulling you closer, has you losing any semblance of what language even is. Words? Who needs them? He’s hooking his other hand behind your knee and hiking it up, guiding you to wrap your leg around him, and really all you can think about is how you aren’t close enough.

You sneak your fingers up under the hem of his shirt, feeling the expanse of his skin, and the sound of the breathiest gasp leaving his lips settles along the curve of your spine. 

“Is this a bad idea?” You ask, once you remember how to use words. 

He stops short, as if he’s just remembered not only did he leave the oven on but he also left incredibly flammable items near it. A little shocked and worried and second guessing. Which, you’re not really sure what sort of reaction you were hoping for but you should have expected this at the least. He’s a chronic over-thinker sometimes. 

It’s fine, it’s cute even. When it’s not annoying you to no end. Sometimes you need his specific brand of cautious energy, a voice helping you recognize when something actually is a terrible idea because you didn’t realize before he pointed it out. Other times, like now, you already know the answer to your own question and you seriously do not need him to answer. It was rhetorical, thank you very much. 

“Um, well- I-” He stumbles over his sentence, breathing hard and face flushed.

“Nevermind, don’t answer that. Just kiss me.” 

Thankfully Bang Chan is very good at going along with your bad ideas. 

You can deal with whatever all of this means after. Right now, the both of you are wearing far too much clothing and you need to fix that immediately. 

[incorrectcoldflashblog]

Any fic, number 4 and 27?

Hi, friend! Sorry this took me almost two days to answer, haha, I was in Paris for a concert yesterday and only just got back.

4.) If the fic required it, what did you research in order to write it?

The only fic I’ve published that really required any research is What Happens in Vegas and the goddamn tornado warnings. I don’t even know why I was so obsessed with getting this right when I was writing Chapter 4 because in the next chapter I just gave up on even trying to make it realistic, haha, but there you go. I did do a lot of research about ancient Mesopotamia to write my Genie AU, which is why it’s ironic that it’s now completely abandoned^^’

27.) Share a piece of lore you made up for the story

Well, obviously my Genie AU is also probably the WIP that required me to make up the most lore, since Len was a 5000-year-old genie in that one, although I did try to keep some key elements of his backstory, like having started life as a petty thief. I’ll use this as an excuse to share a little more of this fic since I’ll sadly probably never actually finish it (trigger warning for implied child abuse and suicide):

Cold couldn’t really remember the earliest millennia of his life. He supposed they must have been alright; they were just a very long time ago, and after a while everything just kind of tended to blur together.

The earliest he could remember clearly was a young man in Egypt. After he’d finished screaming, he’d been so excited. People always were excited by magic, back then. They would never have locked him away, or asked if they could return the children he’d created for them. Not like today’s ingrates.

Europe had been a funny little…continent? Glorified peninsula?

Whatever it was, Cold wasn’t sure how he’d ended up there in the first place, any more than he was sure how he’d ended up in this new place. The first human he’d encountered there had been an impeccably mannered little girl with bright blue eyes and brown curls, and a funny habit of speaking to him in Latin.

He was glad to have been discovered by a child. Little girls rarely made him hurt people the way adult men did.

Lisa was a lonely, unloved child—her parents had wanted a boy, she told him, but all of her baby brothers had died in infancy. It wasn’t an unusual request—he’d lost track of how many requests for baby boys he’d fulfilled over the years. Lisa had hoped that if she wished for her mother to fall pregnant with their long-desired son, her parents would stop being so cruel to her.

It turned out she was wrong.

He’d always suspected why Lisa had kept him around for as many years as she had without making her third wish, but what little heart he had had still sunk when she’d confirmed it.

“Please,” she had pleaded. “I’m decided. Just do it painlessly.”

“Absolutely not.”

“I thought the purpose of you demonic creatures was that you do whatsoever I desire.”

She was right, of course. What choice had he had?

Thank you so much for asking <3

Even More Fic Writers Ask

[sphinxlosestheirmind]

oh it’s so over I’m inspired I’m going to write the best social media Reiji/Ryoken/Thomas fic you’ve ever seen no one @ me

(REIJI IS 16, RYOKEN IS 18, THOMAS IS 17. THIS IS CANON!!!! Unless you’re really freaky about like two year age gaps it’s not pedophilia!! Idk how people are specifically about ships in this fandom so don’t attack me!!)

Anyway I love this ship and I’ve taken to calling it GimmickShipping (GS) more under cut if you even care..

(Also I love saying “under the cut” so much, ALSO COLORED TEXT, I will be using it always and forever from now on)

The ship name came about first because I love these three and think they’d be really cute together. I’m in love with them all & they’re silly so who better to pair them with than each other!

Ok anyway actual reasoning now hah:

1. All sorts of characters have their own “gimmicks” to them that match up to their decks but these three just stood out so much to me in significant ways so I’ll list it here.

a. Reiji’s D/D/D, or different dimension demons, are such an intriguing concept specifically in the sense of his show (Arc-V) being about dimensional travel and different dimensions. I thought it was pretty ironic that this would be the deck to give him, specifically since he’s trying so valiantly to stop his father’s dimensional take over. (Almost like trying to stop a demonic takeover I guess? This metaphor is weird, take it with a grain of salt!)

Additionally, Reiji is a product OF the dimensions, seeing as without them he would have never been created (like, Leo probably wasn’t going to have any more kids. He had Ray, he ADORED her, he didn’t want more kids let alone had any intentions for Reiji specifically).

b. Ryoken/REVOLVER is all about guns. He has bullet earrings, he’s named Revolver for fucks sake. His dragons are very cyberpunk/gun themed, fitting to this narrative. His VRAINS bodysuit has the bullets decorating it all over, specifically seen on his cape-thing.

His whole thing is more stylistic in nature than story here, but I do think character design says a lot about the character as well. His deck also speaks for itself (again).

c. IV!!!! My darling Thomas Arclight! Ahhhh, how I love him. OKAY, I’ll get to the point! His was what prompted the whole thing, which is why I’m putting him last funny enough haha! His gimmick puppets definitely helped with the name, because they made me motivated enough to think about what a “gimmick” actually was!

Thomas’ whole thing is fan service- but puppets are an ironic gimmick to him as well. He’s a puppet to his father, just like his siblings are and his father is to the Barians/Vector. He plays with people like dolls, puppeteering them to his fancy as he dances to his father’s whims. He’s a very funky guy to me, and I dearly appreciate him helping me come up with the name.

Anyway hope you enjoyed this little rant hah. I just love them a lot and them being together makes me very happy, as well as literally no one else writing anything about them paired let alone as a trio! Might link the fic, might not, we’ll see how long it takes to write.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Manifesting you get a bfb Karasu equivalent soon!! Trust all these randos are just preparing you for the real deal dw dw!!! But also LOL OK that’s good I can imagine the insane lore developments that come from your hangouts LMAO expanding the miraverse irl edition

LMAOOO yk aikus hit rock bottom when he’s asking Niko of all people for advice…but y/n and snuffy having a relationship like Lorenzo and snuffy have is so cute…I stand by snuffy on top as coach though but anyways this series would actually be so hilarious

This is so funny because you take two ends of the spectrum with playboy aiku and then losers Hiori and Rin and hopefully their ideas would even out to get someone normal….but yeah there’s no way either of them would go to aiku of all people LMAO the blind leading the blind truly HAHA

Ohhh yeah that’s right…Lowk I never understood that because I wasn’t under the impression that when like his entire class confessed to him that they did so solely because of soccer? Wtv ig middle school drama or something but tbh I thought it was more of his face card pulling than anything else so uh…I need one of those goofy trivia tidbits kaneshiro please I need to know…you’re right though there’s no way karasus considered ugly since he did pull Marisa…hm….also agreed if Raichi just shut up he’d be cool so maybe he only screams on field/in soccer mode??? LMAO but those four getting zero really shocks me like…ok yeah I think Isagi is not super interesting but you’re telling me NO ONE in the bllkverse wanted your average sweet boy (ig??)??? Like I’m surprised that he pulled absolutely no one given his rather easy going personality off field…maybe everyone just thinks like us though LOL

NAGI ISAGI DUO >>> I love them too Lowk nagi has so many interesting duo combos…but KIYORA THOUGHTS I was honestly not expecting that one trust I will be giggling when I see the irl miraverse Easter eggs

Ok but the gagamaru fic was so cute??? Him running and knocking on the window scaring the shit out of reader is so on brand for him too LMAOO another Mira W

That kiyora summary line goes hard….Im not a hardcore kiyora fan but when the reader isn’t normal you know that’s when the fic is gonna serve (this is reminding me about our convo on hollyhock LOL)

- Karasu anon

LMAOO no the hangouts always go crazy…plenty of opps created and situations developed…but it is what it is 🙂‍↕️ HAHA one day we will find someone fr but until then i shall content myself w writing abt silly little fictional men 🤩

no literally like aiku’s sobbing to niko and niko is just like ??? bro i’m 15??? LMAOO that poor guy ironically i bet it’s niko’s advice that makes him realize what’s going on because if even NIKO is saying smth then yk it’s bad…like oh man even the kid realizes i’m in love w her maybe i actually am 😭 and YESSS snuffy number one coach easily (although in terms of actual player development it’s lowkey chris prince he just got stuck w reo and nagi in their emo era but he’s helped chigiri mega slay so obv he’s doing smth right) i think it would be so cute if snuffy is like her fun adopted uncle or smth like maybe she knew lorenzo beforehand so when snuffy helps lorenzo out he helps her by extension?? so when snuffy’s like hear me out this aiku kid isn’t that bad and lorenzo is like facts she’s just like umm okay ig i’ll give it a shot??

HAHAHA hiori and rin vs aiku and otoya literally two opposite ends of the spectrum…take the average and you get karasu and yukimiya (definitely d1 piners but at the same time like they’ll do what they have to and actually ask a girl out without taking ridiculous measures to do so 😭)

no literally maybe it’s just because he became so unfriendly/closed off that everyone just felt awkward around him?? like oh chigiri is the emo one so no one wanted to give him a valentine…or maybe he was actively in rehab and barely at school back then 🤔 HAHA karasu is def that guy that’s actually hot but he doesn’t realize it and thinks he’s mid just based on what we know abt him 😭 i feel like people are probably intimidated by him which is why he didn’t get that many valentines or anything…like bro is def lowkey scary even though we know he’d never be a jerk to a girl i can def see girls seeing him be his typical mischievous jackass self and just being too scared to approach him 😓 LMAOO honestly raichi is probably more chill off field/with girls so ig i can see how he got valentines?? but yeahhh idk how isagi didn’t get ANY 😰 like WE think he’s a loser but i feel like in-verse he’s quite chill and pretty tall/athletic so how did he get NO girls?? i can see why bachira didn’t since he was canonically bullied and a loner and ig i can see why nagi didn’t since he’s apparently cursed 😭⁉️ but yeah isagi not even getting one is crazy…ig bllk girls are on the miraverse wavelength in that sense (i wish it said how many chocolates barou got because i can see him getting 0 as well or getting like a fair amount there’s really no in between)

NAGI AND ISAGI >>> second selection is literally my fav because those two are sooo good together i hope they’re reunited soon i lowkey find them more fun than nagi and reo 😓 nagi and barou both make every duo they’re in actively better (which is why their duo is the best) we love them for that…pls i wasn’t expecting kiyora thoughts from a nagi + isagi edit either like it was so random??? but when inspiration strikes ig…i guess that “vague kiyora prompt” entry in my notes app got to me fr 😭 i hope the person who requested it is okay with the direction i take it?? they literally just asked for a kiyora fic which could be anything so praying they don’t hate what i do with it 😩

LMAOO it was the best way i could incorporate what they asked for while still retaining that comedic flair that i tend to use in shorter fics 😵 i feel like gagamaru is one of those characters that’s hard to keep in character because he doesn’t have much of a character in the source material so any expansion feels like i’m taking too many liberties (currently the problem i’m facing w kiyora…like i’m making this up as i go because there’s literally nothing on him even in the wiki so it feels like i’m being way too inventive with how he’d react to situations but it’s just that there isn’t much to go off of??)

I LOVEEE WRITING NOT NORMAL READERS but ik not everyone enjoys them + this reader kind of has a strong character to really play off of how i’m writing kiyora which again not everyone really likes so fingers crossed the anon isn’t like WTF is this because that would be so embarrassing…hollyhock reader is definitely a little/lot worse than this reader though she’s on another level fr 😭

[strawberryxfieldz]

yknow, even though I think most of what Matrick Patthew said in his new video is one big steaming pile of doodoo there are a couple things I must give him credit for. (1) he did point out that Frank is often the “odd one out” which I’ve thought about since he’s the only one besides Wally who wasn’t given an origin before moving to Home, he doesn’t follow the pattern of having a name ending in “y” or “ie”, etc.

(2) something I hadn’t thought about. what exactly the upside-down clothespin means. I do think it’s fair to assume they represent the neighbors since there’s 9 of them. MP thought it might be Frank since he’s an outlier even though it doesn’t go with the “buried head in the sand” theory, or Wally. I think the latter is more plausible because, if this is a story about Home seeming like a utopia while something sinister is beneath the surface, then Wally is probably the only one who knows about the neighborhood’s flaws but refuses to acknowledge them. it could be ironic that Wally is the only one aware but also purposefully ignorant. BUT there are 9 clothespins and neighbors, which means Home has to represent one of them and Home is likely just as aware as Wally, if not more so.

I think there is a more likely culprit. MP compared the clothespin to Frank since Frank’s main color seems to be blue—that’s just flat-out wrong. the neighbor’s favorite colors are shown multiple times (the color buttons on the phone, the color of their names) and Frank’s color is yellow. Barnaby’s color is blue.

which got me thinking, even if the color thing is just a coincidence, the clothespin might represent Barnaby. my first reason is flimsy at best since it’s based on non-canon art, but the art that has Wally with a headless Barnaby is an interesting parallel since both Barnaby and the clothespin have no visible head. I think everyone assumes Wally is doing something sinister in this art but that’s not true. Barnaby had a walk-around puppet since he’s so tall so Wally’s just with his puppet before the head’s been put on (albeit looking very creepy haha). Barnaby’s head is discarded somewhere on the floor behind them which is a funny similarity to the clothespin’s head being in the dirt.

my other reasoning is better, and that’s Barnaby being Wally’s best bud. he’s closer to Wally than anyone else in the neighborhood, besides maybe Home. I’ve seen others say this, but since Barnaby is Wally’s best friend he’s probably been witness to a lot of Wally’s strange behavior that points to his sentience. and the last video shows this when Wally spaces out again and Barnaby takes notice while trying to snap him out of it.

I think if there is something sinister going on and it revolves around Wally and Home, Barnaby would be the first to realize it. he could be the clothespin burying his head in the sand to pretend like nothing’s happening, or Barnaby could the first victim of whatever it is. I don’t think that means foul play yet (how would puppets even die, especially when there are multiples of them?) so I’m not sure what “it” is but Barnaby’s fur pattern does match the patch on Wally’s chair, he was the only character whose sticker was clickable pre-July update, and his favorite color matches the color of the clothespin, and I think it could all mean something.

(I also think it’s interesting about the rotting stuff in the garden since I thought food didn’t rot in Home, but that’s another story entirely.)

[navxry]

DAY 2 : THE WORLD REAPER'S WOES

-> Figuring out a way to resolve the issue is far more than a simple ritual, and for Kirara, she may have bitten more off than she could chew. (RULER OF LOVE TAGLIST: @xianyoon ; send an ask to be tagged!) [ <- day 1 | main page | day 3 -> ]

If there was one thing Kirara wasn’t told, it was helping out an Outer God in the predicament that the duo found themselves in. And sure, while helping out a God that can kill her was probably not the best way to go about it, there were things that are far from their control.

One of them was, ironically, the feud between them and the followers that the duo accumulated. According to Navina, the conflict between them had been because of the followers that couldn’t ‘coexist’ in worshipping two Gods… And due to certain eldritch beings that messed with them, it went down from there.

She could tell that despite their aggressive behavior with… Some statements (especially when Kirara implied that what they did may have been unjustified, which she had to explain so they wouldn’t kill her), they were clearly trying to deal with the situation the best they could.

Well… As best as trying not to lose their mind, as one may say.

During the rituals, Kirara can tell that they were not as open when it comes to interacting past strict business. They did told the girl a few things about the town she entered so willingly, and the curse that resides in it.

“… Wait, so you’re telling me that I can’t leave? Not until the source has been removed?”

“Precisely,” Navina replied, crossing their void-like arms with a frown. “It’s the curse for us Outer Gods. When it comes to me, this world is on it’s last legs— summoning me simply damns it so that it dies when I ‘leave’.”

She couldn’t help but shiver at that. Its no funny business whenever Outer Entities are involved, that’s for sure, and Kirara can only fathom just how dangerous it can be when entrapping not one, but two of them in one world.

“However, since I am trapped… It still has a chance to live. However, I will entrust the ‘erasure’ process to you, since you summoned me.”

“… me?” Kirara’s brows furrowed. “But I don’t know how. Is there a ritual for that?”

They nodded.

“It’s the last one, if I’m correct. However, there are precautions you need to observe before doing it. There’s a reason why you can’t go off-course when summoning Outer Entities.”

My head is spinning…

“Here. Do you see what ritual you’re doing after the last one?” they asked, one of their many void hands moving to point at the book. The girl nodded and looked over, noticing the next ones she had to do, which was… Well, unsurprisingly, needed a corpse and other parts of the house.

“Yes… It says that I have to prepare a effigy for the next one,” she explained, shuddering. “It’s something about… Getting the strength from the dead. But I don’t understand—”

“That’s quite simple. You’ll need their power to remove the source: the heart that beats in this house.”

“A heart?!”

Kirara can’t deal with this many surprises. At this rate, she was going to have a heart attack with how much she needed to take note of!

“Yes, a heart. I suppose you’ve never seen those things in your job,” the God said with a frown. “I do apologize for your… Employer. They must’ve set you up with your eagerness.”

… Oh, right. I told them about that, did I?

“No need to apologize,” the girl said, sighing in defeat. “I’ve… Faced worse, if I’m being honest. But this one’s up there, haha!”

“… Yes, like meeting a God is worse,” they murmured, though they seem to be smiling at the thought. “Anyway, please do the rituals in order. When the heart is destroyed, I promise that you’ll remain safe when you get out of here.”

“Ah… How about the book?”

“The book must be destroyed, unfortunately. You can’t exactly let anyone else have it, lest they repeat the same incident twice.”

The messenger sighed. So much for saving it, she thought.

“Alright. I’ll get back to it. Now, what ritual was it again?”

Travelling outside of the house and to the garden was an experience, if you asked Kirara.

Now, getting the ritual set up was one thing. Navina promised to her that she will be safe when she does it in the gardens, and especially with the perpetrators unable to set foot in the sacred grounds. If she strayed too far from the garden though, that is when her safety is compromised.

How did she know? Well, the Outer God warned her themselves. After all, in exchange of getting them out of the world they were tied in, they vowed to keep her safe until she dies.

How reassuring. Now she knew that in death, this Outer God will keep her somewhere safe for her troubles.

Still, what she didn’t account for was the difficulties of performing it, especially with the threat she’s yet to meet.

Traversing through the shrubs, Kirara froze when she heard the sound of faint giggling. She knew that normally, it doesn’t pose any issues, but when she has to deal with the supernatural… All she can do was be cautious of where she’s going.

However, the issue didn’t seem to leave. If anything, it seem to grow the longer she stuck in the garden.

Each step she took was met with a soft hum, and the closer she got to her destination, it grew louder and louder. It was getting so loud that when she got close to the source, it was making her grow deaf.

Ah! I see it!

When she arrived, she knelt down and observed the sirens lurking under the river. She was informed by the book that there would be sirens in the river, and what she required was the siren’s ‘voice’. However, a quick check in the book clarified what she really needed.

“… A shell from the riverbank?” Kirara murmured. “How am I going to get one…?”

From the written notes, it looked like any shell will do so as long it was inhabited within the riverside where the sirens are. However, she wasn’t sure if they’d be willing to have her scoop one up.

Looking over at the sirens, she can vaguely make out a few figures and shiver. Some were already leering at her, which was not a fun sight.

She has no time, though. With a deep breath, she moved over to scoop one up, taking it as quickly before pulling herself back when the siren moved to swat at her.

She could hardly understand what the sirens were screaming at her, but the sound was grating to hear. Still, she had the shell, so all she can do was make a run for it.

Screw this! I have far bigger things to worry about! She thought in a hurry, scooping the book into her arms as she can hear some swim to chase after her by the waters. I need to finish the rituals, and fast!

This one was an important one, as it grants Kirara the ability to be able to deal with the removal. According to the Outer God, if this was going to be the sole factor that can help her stay alive when she does the final one, then by all hell will she let these angry merfolk stop her.

She’s done the rest before. She can tell that from her conversation with them, this one was vital before the last one. She needed to play her cards right.

However, she felt one of the sirens grab her by her foot, sending her down to the ground. With a yelp, she turned back to see who it was.

It’s that strange guy! She thought, her eyes widening when he hissed and clicked in disapproval. Gritting her teeth, she kicked him off with all her might, trying to get him to stop from dragging her to the murky waters.

After a few harsh kicks, the siren pulls back, screaming and clicking angrily. She took it as a sign to make a mad dash back, heaving for a breath as she ran to the sanctuary of the house.

Kirara couldn’t tell if the sirens would be hard-pressed to have her be around with an Outer God or not, but she didn’t want to return. Especially when she could hear clamoring from outside as the intruders began to work their way in getting in.

However, this one didn’t need her to be in the presence of the God. She needed to go downstairs, just to prepare herself for the last one.

Travelling from room to room, she avoided areas when she heard strange noises and clicks. She could tell that some were definitely getting infested, but she wasn’t going to risk it to see what it was.

After a while of sneaking through the haunted rooms and pushing through doors, she found what she was looking for.

In front of her was a gaping hole, the flooring ruined by what lurked from below. The ‘roots’ were wilted, its coverage affecting the entire area and even outside the house by the window behind it. The stench was putrid, but she had to soldier onwards.

It was tempting to retch, but Kirara can’t do it. She couldn’t give her location if she succumbed to it now.

Clambering down from the roots, she landed on what sounded like piles and piles of sawdust and granite, causing her to hack. Recovering from the unceremonious entrance she had, she looked around.

Stone walls, darkness reaching from the abyss, the putrid smell coming from one area, and boarded up entryways… Indeed, she was at the right location.

Dusting her clothes off, she jogged to the direction of the source. If she was right, then she would be able to cast the second to the last ritual with the right belongings.

At least, well… She hoped.

With each step Kirara took, she could feel her heart throb. It was due to the adrenaline, but one part of her believed that it could be due to the fear, too.

Shouldering on with the God for a while can be… An experience. Still, she didn’t want to think about doing it again. Being near one that didn’t belong to this world can drive one mad.

Especially now, with how she’s gotten to the source, and my God is it an atrocious sight.

The ‘heart’ that she was told was certainly what she expected, but it was being held up by multiple bodies that surrounded the cave. The many ‘roots’ she sees were connected to them, acting like veins as it supplied to the beating organ. It continues to pulsate as she watched the blood flow from the body, only spilling out toxic wastes that she couldn’t fathom to think of what that may be.

Raising the book, she looked through the instructions.

Ritual: Reality Shift → Abyssal Uprooting If you wish to stop being associated with the World Reaper or to stop the impending judgement day brought upon by the World Reaper, do this ritual to return reality to it’s former state. To prepare for the Abyssal Uprooting ritual, one must prepare: → The siren’s voice → The blessing of the World Reaper → Fuel of the Gods → Black lit candles To begin, one must be in the room where the source is. Make sure that you have your belongings with you and you are in the room that is the root of where the World Reaper is summoned (i.e.: where their ‘heart’ lies), or else this will not work. Grab the siren’s voice and douse it with fuel. When done, put it in front of the heart before lighting up the candles with black fire (see “Black Fire” if you don’t remember how). With the candle in hand, chant the following…

Putting down the book, she began to do what the ritual told her to do: get the shell and douse it with gasoline (thank God they had one in the kitchen, she wasn’t going out there if she could help it), putting it in front of the heart and lighting up the candles with black fire. Although the flames were bigger than the last ones she did, she didn’t care.

Lifting up the candle, she looked through what she needed to say, took a deep breath and started to speak.

“Y' vow thee, ahornah gn'bthnknyth l' fm'latgh epfm'latghh. Nogephaii reality l' ahf' h' ehye mgepah, ng set shuggog reaper na'ah'ehye.”

The familiar chime echoes as the flames grew big in size, soon traversing down and travelling around the roots. Although she feared the fire for what it could do, she felt comfort from it as it began to set the entire place ablaze.

This was it. She was preparing herself for the final ritual—

“—Kirara? Where did you go? I feel my grip on this world fading.”

…

Wait… What?

“I’m right at the source,” she told them, which earned her a small sigh. “Why? Did I got here too early?”

“No, no. Actually… I got worried that you were outside longer than I thought. I felt my grip on this world fading, so I thought you died.”

Ah. Fair assumption, but she held her tongue.

“Haha, well… I’m grateful,” the God spoke, their voice becoming more distant. “Still, I know we have one more to do to sever my ties to this world. It’s a bit unfortunate that I can’t promise you safety when you do it, though.”

“Wait, what do you mean?” Kirara asked, the crackling of the flames growing louder—muffling the sounds from the outside world, save from the entity she’s speaking to. “Are you going to leave me here?”

“Its… Complicated, Kirara. The last one needs— wait, someone’s coming!”

Kirara couldn’t anticipate the next part, for when she turned to see who it was—

BANG!

…

What she could hear was the piercing silence of the gun echoing, its bullet piercing through her chest. The flames licked to the roots and moved itself to her body, moving to engulf her from bottom to top.

She couldn’t tell what was happening, as her vision was growing darker. Stumbling to the ground, blood poured out of her body.

She could only hear faint screams from the God as they tried to keep her from getting any more hurt from her perpetrator, but it was too late.

With one last breath, life seeped out of her body, leaving nothing but a girl burning with the book in hand.

"Hm? Did something happened?"

The girl gasped, her eyes widening as she froze from where she was standing.

The person that spoke to her seem to be looking in concern, his arms crossed as his red eyes squinted at her demeanor. With a tilt to the side, he faced her with a frown.

“You’ve been looking over at the bulletin aimlessly for a while,” the stranger said. “Did something happened? You seem quite… Pale, miss.”

…

Ah, right, Kirara thought, her eyes adjusting to what she was looking. I was looking at it to see where the bookstore was…

… Right?

@/navxry | do not repost my works | 2024 | entry for may ebg 2024 by @/xianyoon

[farlyy]

Week One Day Two, August 22, 2024 Today, we finally had classes, and unfortunately, our schedules were super early. I've known since junior high that I'm not a morning person. I almost arrived late because I forgot I had taken my wallet out of my bag, but I made it on time, and the instructor wasn’t even in the room yet, so all was well. Reflecting on that, I’ve decided to always put my wallet in my bag and check before leaving the house.

In our "Understanding the Self" class, we first discussed our names—their meanings and the stories behind them. We wrote our answers on a ¼ yellow pad. Initially, I thought we were going to have a recitation, and those papers would be used to call on us, so I wrote my name as small as possible. Then I changed my mind, thinking it might stand out, so I wrote my name properly on the back of the paper. Ironically, my paper was still picked, even though it was turned backward, because my name was on both sides. That was a funny moment from today. After class, we headed straight home because it was definitely time to do wallet care—haha! Though I still went to SM just because I have to, to get to where I need to ride a jeep home. I saw one of my favorite novel’s physical book, and finally tried the matcha in Lawson convenience store.

[lostfracturess]

secondly, which is basically the first, MY POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOWS THEY DON'T DESERVE IT I JUST WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY 😭😭😭 i just can't imagine how dreadful must it all be to a y/n since she's not only just a student, but a lot younger and hasn't yet witnessed all the shit that satoru has 😭 she had a panic attack and all i was thinking is just how satoru was with her during all her attacks to calm her down 😞 it was heart wrenching to read honestly, she was in a room full of people and yet so alone (more like vultures than people but okay) and i am glad that suguru helped her ❤️ and THIS WOMAN IN THE BATHROOM HOW SHE COMMANDED OTHER MEN OUT 😭😭😭😭 honestly love her so much! also that scene made me completely sure that she's certainly the strongest one soul and character wise among two of them, i mean she leads and satoru follows (i know satoru would agree with me as the simp he is) and our beautiful blue eyed princess doesn't make her burden easier, kudos for trying to him tho..also when she said "i am always wrong somehow" or something like that when he ran away (in all ways non ironically) and she didn't try to talk to him shattered my heart 😞 as i personally think she does everything right (as if there might be something right in relationships), because she listens to her heart 😞😞😞 i don't see her as kinda a pushover, though she also tries to hide her feelings, please baby don't learn that from our babygirl 🙄🙄🙄 and your quote about love is choosing got me teared up honestly, such a nice wording ❤️ and thirdly, the smut????? it was really really good and honestly for me this is the best smut scene so far 😫😫😫 everything is just on point, and i absolutely adore the way they keep their personalities while fucking if that makes sense 😭😭😭 i mean she's so stubborn and he's so.... satoru as usual... frankly waiting for the moment when HE will beg y/n, because this man is way to confident for his own 🤨🤨🤨 and someone (both of them) hasssss a thing for chocking~~~ very sexy i can say, satoru loves having everything under his control everywhere especially in the bed 🙄😫 ALMOST FORGOT TO SAY I AM SO SO SO IN LOVE WITH THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE HIS PHYSIQUE 😫😫😫😫 want to bite him sorry~

in conclusion, protective! satoru makes me feel a lot of things, my babies deserve better, sukuna is a fucking asshole. thank you for the chapter, looking forward to another one anddd sending you lots of love and inspo!!! sorry for this chaotic blubbering mess once again😞🙏

yn so strong for not crumbling completely with everything going on. could never. but now that you said it… ture!!! all her panic attacks were with satoru and this one was like the first where he wasn’t there omg!!! now it’s even more sad, haven’t thought about it!!!

must include this in the next chapter haha ✍️ 

and yes! she defenetily wears the pants in this relationship!! satoru is so utterly at her mercy omg, it’s so funny like he was always the „strongest“ (*crying*) and always took the lead and all and then she came around and now he’s like a slave to her lol. he is a SIMP, all throughout!! 

also when she said "i am always wrong somehow" or something like that when he ran away (in all ways non ironically) and she didn't try to talk to him shattered my heart 😞

i think that kinda showed how all that mess slowly catches up to her and even the strongest hearts can break with just enough pressure :(( so sad. wanted to show that even she can not withstand everything satoru does.

so glad you enjoyed the talk about love, thought it was a bit cheesy so i'm glad it resonated with you!!

also what??? the best smut so far?? thought it was kinda medium ahhhhh, again so glad you enjoyed!!!

moreover i can explain the chocking !!!! i can explain!!! i mean??? ehh???? it’s hot okay, i have no explanation, it’s literally i guess in every goddamn smut scene i've ever written. AND I WILL NOT STOP!!

you’re conclusion is on point: sukuna is an asshole. period. 

thank you again for your precious time to write this reaction to the chapter, that's really what writing fanficiton makes so special!! sending you all the love and whishing you nothing but the best ♡

[ame-in-the-rain]

been working on two kaleipro videos which will hopefully come out next month or so, but because it’s been on my mind I wanna go over the etymology of all the character names

Cecil Nelson- name origin mostly comes from the patron saint of music named Cecilia who was martyred. I guess you could connect how Ferron might see Cecil as a sort-of martyr in his Kaleidoskull plan. The name means blind, which I like to connect to her eyes/albinism. Nelson is a pun on Cal, (lit. Neil Son). Also I made Cecil and cal’s initials mirror each other when I first created them, (CN and NC)

Warren Ferron- I just named him Warren after Warren Kepler because 14 y/o me was still riding on that w359 high. But a Warren is typically a burrow for rabbits, matching with Cecil’s bunny imagery. Ferron derives from the prefix “ferro-“ which means iron. This was because he was originally a part of this lemonverse thing for morally grey scientists, so I wanted a name with a pun on grey

Neil “Cal” Callaghan- we know why he’s named Neil so moving on. Anyway the only good improvement out of that god damned server was that someone thought Callaghan sounded like “call again” (like “call me back” in touch-tone telephone) so I’m stealing that and plagiarizing that. Same thing about the initials here but also Cal’s Irish. I’m sticking him in my Gaelic Group™️ of characters.

Cade Ar- THE ARCADE JOKE CAME AFTER I NAMED HIM. I named him Cade because I couldn’t find a name that started with “Cab”. And then I realized I could make the worse character name ever. Apparently Cade as a name means round? Take that what you will

Emerson Moon- nothing really of note, I think I just subconsciously named her Emerson because I know an Emerson irl. But the last name Moon is probably from “Ó Mocháin” which means early, so I guess that could represent her insomniac nature. Also another character in the Gaelic group haha

Ichigo Ichinose- Go Ichinose is the music composer for the Pokémon series so ichiGO ICHINOSE. But also minus the “nose” part, her name can be read as “ichi go ichi” (一五一) or 151, 151 original Pokémon. Also her name in kanji is 一之瀬苺

Ernie Wright- Ernie’s is pretty simple, coming from the lyrics in I Earn My Life, EARN/EARNIE, and “if I wasn’t always right.” Also his ex-wife’s name is Laura which I’m pretty sure is named after that lady Barney knows in blue shift

Reagan Pending- yeah yeah Reagan from Ronald Reagan. But his last name is Pending because when I was talking about him to my friend, I said “this is Reagan last name pending” because I hadn’t come up with a last name yet. But I think he though Reagan’s last name was the word pending. So now it is because I think that’s funny. Also pending like when a house is on the market because him and Ernie are architects for the housing market

[waywardstanleys]

The End Is A Lie

Part Four: In which our heroine gets her name back (part one — > [x], part two —> [x], part three —> [x])  

Maybe I should have returned to that room, she thought as soon as she regained consciousness. The woman propped herself up on her elbows and slowly stood up. Then she touched her temple with the tip of her finger and winced in pain. She had hit her head on an iron partition standing against the wall and covered with a piece of tarpaulin. Luckily, she managed not to fracture her skull by one of its sharp edges and only ended up with a bump and a light scratch. Well, that's some incredible luck, the woman thought, throwing a final gloomy glance at the partition. Escaped from one trap and immediately ended up in another. I just made this test more comlicated for myself and now... wait, what?.. This ...’test’? She was puzzled. She couldn't understand why she suddenly thought about that. What test? The woman had no slightest idea. It seemed like she completely forgot about something. It was something very important, wasn’t it? Something she had to do, make every effort for. Maybe she tried, but for some reason, everything went wrong. That was before I found myself in the Office, right? the woman asked herself. She had to remember. It was necessary. The woman looked around, as if trying to find a clue on the walls, door and boxes. It’s useless, she thought. This place had no connection to the past. Could it be...?

The woman took off her plastic badge from her shirt and read her own name. “...My name is ‘Chell’?” she said aloud and immediately felt foolish. Of course, her name was Chell. How could she forget her own name? Even the thought itself seemed absurd! Was it because of the recent head injury? Perhaps it was strong enough to cause a mild form of amnesia? Chell didn't have a medical education, so she couldn't say for sure. Well, at least she remembered her name — not bad for a start. Now she needed to figure out how to get out of here. And for that, she had to decide where to go. Left? Right? Or that garage door over there?

Chell turned around and approached the elevator she had descended in. She entered its cabin and pressed the button. Nothing happened. Apparently, the elevator could only go up to this point. The woman returned to the middle of the room. She stood there for a few minutes, contemplating which path to choose and, most importantly, where it would lead her. Chell began to pace in circles and jiggle every door. They were all locked. She had no choice but to head through the garage door. It was fortunate that Chell was skinny enough to squeeze through the wide gap between the floor and the partially open door. Descending the stairs, Chell found herself on an iron catwalk. It ended in a dead-end and hung at a great height. Jumping off would result in death for sure. She had no wish to die, so she just stood on the catwalk, gazing at the enormous panel with hundreds of glowing monitors. They displayed footage from surveillance cameras located in each office room. Could this be another laboratory? But these offices were too poorly equipped to be test chambers. What was this company really is about? And why did all its employees suddenly disappear?..

To hell with it, Chell thought, I'm more interested in how to escape from this shithole. She turned away from the monitors and approached the door. Locked. How could that be? "Haha, very funny," Chell muttered, "I don't give a damn who you are and why you are doing this! Just let me out of here!" The mysterious door remained silent. "I know you can hear me!" she shouted and began pounding on the door. "Open!" And once again, no one answered her. Chell remembered little about her life, habits, and personality, as she suffered from amnesia for unknown reasons. But one thing she knew for sure. A woman named Chell was patient and very stubborn. That's why she continued to knock on the door and call out for the stranger who locked her in here. Sooner or later, the door will open, she thought. You just have to wait and keep knocking. Someone will definitely hear her and release her from this dead end. Perhaps it won't happen right away. Maybe in ten minutes... or in fifteen minutes?.. Maybe after four hours?.. Or maybe never. Will she stay here forever? Fat chance! Chell tries to open the door. She breaks a hairpin, damages her nails and disfigures her gentle hands with bruises and scratches. Scratches and dents appear on the door. But the door doesn't yield. Maybe it's actually made of platinum. And the paint and wood are just a disguise for an ordinary door. Perhaps it simply can't be opened without a key. Chell sits down on the gridded floor of the iron catwalk and leans against the same door. She feels completely defeated. It's okay. Everything is fine... I just need to rest a bit, she thinks, closing her eyes, When I wake up, I'll think about what to do next. With a fresh mind, it will work better. I will definitely find a way out of here. Then everything goes dark.

[media-mel]

More film/show quick reviews

I Am Not Okay With This (2020) - ok this is a series but shhhh! I LOVED this. The main girl is SOOO likeable and funny to me. Sad it was cancelled, now I want to read the comic to find out what happens next…

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) - I did watch this once as a kid, but shh. Very quippy and quotable, I kept thinking of various KH crack videos with dubs from this LOL.

Polar (2019) - More camp than I expected LOL. The vibes between Montana and the rest of the film feel like two different movies. In terms of women roles, it feels uh.. pre-Gamer Gate… CW: long sex scene, fatphobia, torture, and the dog dies…

The Spider Man Trilogy (2002, 2004, 2007) - Okay I actually genuinely love how camp these movies are. Love the camera movement. Still really surprised how good the 2004 film is!

The Irishman (2019) - god this movie was so long and for what! LOL. Fantastic performances though. And I got used to the de-aging VFX, even if they caught me off guard at first. Still, perhaps I wasn't the audience this movie was for because I really felt it was so long...

Venom + Venom Carnage (2018, 2021) - Wow I really just… really do not fucking care for car chase scenes LOL. These movies were alright, but honestly I probably will never watch them again haha. Venom and Eddie were funny! I saw glimpses of the sexuality that all the fans were bonkers about (though it was weaker than I expected based on said fans reactions lmao).

Titan AE (2000) - Very very y2k movie LOL. The rock music is sooo funny and does not fit the sci fi at ALL imo lmao. I do prefer Treasure Planet for Jim and Silver’s relationship, so I wish the emotional relationships were stronger in this movie. But still a fun movie. Stith4Ever. Why was Akima’s skull so fucking long.

The Hunger Games films (2012, 2013, 2014, 2015)- I know that these movies ironically fulfill the very notion I've heard the books were against (making a entertaining spectacle of dark topics, among other things), I do really like them 🙈 My favorite will always be Mocking Jay pt 1 just because I love that underground-jumpsuit aesthetic LOL. Lock me away, boys 🚓🚨

The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023) - Okay other than Illumination’s loathsome “Our movies cannot slow down at all even once” problem, this movie was great. They made Mario and Luigi. So. fucking. adorable. And Bowser was great ofc.

American Psycho (2000) - I DO think this is a good film, but I also can’t BELIEVE this satirical doofus is the guy so many men project themselves onto LOL. I wasn’t expecting a theme on conformity, but to me its what makes the movie interesting.

The King's Man (2021) - This delivered what I expected: fun characters, action scenes that are unique and actually interesting, epic music that makes you feel like you’re with old friends. And it delivered what I did not expect: The WEIRDEST erotic scene I have EVER seen LMAO.

Agent Cody Banks (2003) - Saw this so young I don’t really remember it. This movie has a much higher budget than I remember LOL. Not really innovative but it was for kids, and I remember loving it.

Nope (2022) - okay okay I will admit at first I was like “okay how does the monkey connect” but my dumbass didn't realize Jupe had been purposely giving horses to the UFO, so realizing that Jupe tried taming the UFO in the way he thought he tamed the monkey really made me love this film even more. No wonder Jordan Peele's considered the next Steven Spielberg!

Rope (1948) - NGL I was hoping Rupert would go along :/ This would be so fun on see on stage, I enjoyed it!

Psycho (1960) - I enjoyed this too! One scene that will stick with me is the camera shift in Norman and Marion’s conversation when mothers are brought up. Very interesting cinematography there.

Hoodwinked (2005) - l watched this friends lmao; I was very hesitant, but I gotta admit it was funnier than I expected. The various POVs really makes it a unique animated comedy.

Fight Club (1999) - God first 12 minutes of this film I thought I was going fucking crazy! But hey you know I get it now. This is a fun movie. It feels like the opposite reaction to consumerism and conformity than American Psycho’s, an interesting pair of movies.

Three Pines (2022) - Once again, a show not a film, but I really enjoyed this series. Loved the setting, the atmosphere, the characters, the mysteries. Even though its a detective show with murder, I still found it oddly cozy enough to be a comfort show for the future LOL. Maybe it's because Armand is just that likeable!

[venting-town]

My mom just sent this

It’s almost hilariously ironic ( not in a funny “ haha “ way but a fucked up “ lol “ way ) that I DID originally and fully think/believe this way before ( FOR SEVERAL YEARS )

As a young kid, when I needed my mom to love me like mothers are supposed to, only to be proven time and time again that my thoughts didn’t matter unless it upset her, then I was the problem

When I needed her to choose me over the fucktard child fucker/abuser, but constantly told me to “ shut up “ about it, not to mention that she’d say it was MY fault that he reacted to me the way he did

When I just wanted her to care about me and love me, like how she used to do before

Until I FINALLY acknowledged she didn’t care about me/love me anymore, and no matter how hard I tried, not matter how many times I’d choose to love her DESPITE her clearly not feeling the same towards me, no matter how hard I tried to protect her from me/the pathetic fucktard child molester, it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t worthy. So I hated her. I hated her for YEARS, and she had the AUDACITY to whine and cry and beg to know why I hated her

Idfk dude. This is triggering me and still making me feel happy that she cares about me and loves me again at all

[the-name-is-loser]

Having thoughts about my Sleeby Diluc au again and briefly entertained the thought of a reverse au of this au with Kaeya

And then had a cackle at how I could reverse the way the canon had their view on their fight in which Diluc never mentions Kaeya in his background while in my au he is constantly thinking about him after accidentally killing him because of guilt reasons

And then Kaeya would simply repress it all from his memory or something not because I think it would happen in canon or anything but because it would just be funny where it’s like “who is Diluc I’ve never heard of that man in my entire life” when that is so obviously not the way it went down in canon

(and also to have a scene with traveler like ‘… something’s wrong here I can feel it’ and then being traveler go through everything to figure out what happened and then getting the option to tell kae or not because I love stuff like that like yes!! find out their trauma after they unconsciously buried it!! and then figure out if it would be worth it to make them come to terms with what happened!!!!)

(Not to remember though I don’t think people typically remember repressed memories? They definitely get anxiety from situations resembling the original memory I know that from watching videos during my Om//ori phase(and also as someone who apparently has repressed memories) but I don’t think they remember)

(Which would lead to an interesting confrontation if traveler does tell Kae because he probably still wouldn’t remember but still feel guilt anyway maybe???? The POSSIBILITIES)