#it was way longer than expected lmao

[clownsuu]

Hey I'm Panic, and it's time to Gay!

Biblically accurate gay people jumpscare

[pachimation]

an 8 page comic about childe visiting scaramouche after the sumeru archon quest

[babblingbookends]

Writing prompt: Bruce teaching a Robin of your choice (or Cass) how to swim

For this I had to google three things: 'how deep are in-ground pools', 'how tall are twelve-year-old boys', and 'basic swimming strokes'. Hope you like it!

~~~

“We went to the beach one time when I was a toddler, but I was too young to remember it, and a membership to the city pools cost too much. When would I have learned to swim?”

“I thought maybe at school.”

Jason crossed his arms. So maybe he was feeling a little defensive; sue him. “All the schools I’ve been to, I’ve been lucky if they have free lunches, forget about a pool.”

Bruce shrugged, like it was no big deal that Jason was poor and never learned how to swim. “Well, Alfred will be opening the pool next weekend, so we’ll have swimming lessons then.”

“Isn’t it going to be cold?” Jason asked warily.

Bruce winked. “It’s a heated pool. Perks of being wealthy.”

Okay, so maybe Bruce didn’t care that he didn’t know how to swim. That was Bruce though; no problem he couldn’t solve. “As long as it’s warm,” Jason agreed.

~~~

Bruce explained to him about different strokes, about holding your breath, about buoyancy and physics and a bunch of other stuff that Jason had tuned out five minutes ago.

“C’mon, B, just let me do it,” he said, impatient. “I’m not going to learn by just standing here.”

“Alright,” Bruce said, ruffling his hair. “Let me get in first, and then you.”

“Jeez, I’m not going to drown on the ladder,” Jason said, but he let Bruce get in first. “Is it cold?” he asked, eyeing the water. Bruce wasn’t acting like it was cold, but knowing him he’d probably taken swimming lessons in the north pole or something and thought a cold pool was warm.

“Nope, it’s a perfect temperature.”

Jason dipped his toe in. “I don’t know, it kinda feels cold.”

“Jason, two seconds ago you were telling me to hurry up, and now you’re stalling. Get in.”

“Fine!” he said, tossing his hands in the air. He stepped onto the first step, the water coming up to his ankles. “Okay, you were right, it’s not cold,” he said begrudgingly. He stepped down further into the water, until he was off the ladder. With his feet on the ground, the water level came up to his neck.

“The shallow end is four feet, and the deep end is eight feet,” Bruce said. “We’ll stay in the shallow end until you’ve got the basics and then you can do some laps if you want.”

“Cool,” Jason said. He bounced in the water. “Hey, this is pretty fun!” So maybe he’d been a little nervous. But just a little! But that was dumb, because the water was pretty nice, even if the air was a little cold. He splashed at Bruce, and spluttered when Bruce splashed back.

“Alright, let’s get to it,” Bruce said fondly.

~~~

Bruce demonstrated the basics of the front crawl stroke, and then slowly Jason began to practice it as Bruce corrected his form. Eventually, he’d figured out enough of the motions that he’d gotten a bit of a rhythm and Bruce wasn’t giving out so many corrections.

“Can I try some laps now?” Jason asked eagerly, when Bruce made him stop for a drink.

“Sure, son, if you’re not too tired.”

Tired? How could he be tired? He could do this all day, he was having so much fun!

“Yeah, I want to. Obviously,” he said, handing his water bottle over to Bruce and jumping back into the water, ignoring the way Bruce rolled his eyes.

He pulled his goggles back on and started at the shallow end, kicking and stroking his way across the pool, turning his face out of the water only to breath, just like B had shown him, and when he got to the other end he stopped for a moment to yell back to Bruce, “Look, B, I’m doing it!”

“You’re doing great, Jason, keep it up!” Bruce called back from where he was watching at the other end, and Jason beamed and started back towards him.

He was maybe a quarter of the way back when his leg cramped, and he missed a stroke, and he fell under the water further than he was expecting.

Panic grabbed him and he sunk, his whole body falling beneath the surface of the water. He kicked, trying to get to the surface, then twisted when the cramp in his leg throbbed worse.

His face broke out of the water. “Oh god,” he garbled, spitting out a mouthful of water and trying to get a breath in before he sunk again.

Arms suddenly wrapped around him, pulling him out of the water. He immediately latched on, wrapping himself around Bruce.

“Don’t let go! Don’t let go!” he gasped, frantic.

“I’ve got you, you’re fine, stop choking me,” Bruce wheezed. “I’ve got you.” Reluctantly, Jason loosened his grip around Bruce’s neck. Bruce carried him back to the side and set him down on the edge.

Now out of the water, Jason felt slightly more calm, but that meant that his brain was now focusing on the sharp, painful cramp in his calf. “Ah!” he winced, pressing his thumb into the cramping muscle, trying to get it to relax.

“Are you okay?” Bruce asked. Jason wiped the water out of his eyes and looked up at him. B looked almost… scared, but it was a look Jason had never seen on him before, so he couldn’t be sure.

“I’m fine, B,” he said, breath catching as he massaged the muscle. “It was just a leg cramp, it caught me off guard.”

“Here, let me,” Bruce said, brushing Jason’s hands away and beginning to rub out the muscle with smooth efficiency. Jason wondered how many time Bruce had rubbed out his own cramps, or if Alfred had done it for him.

“Hey, Bruce?” Jason asked.

“Hmm?”

“This was really great. Well, up until I almost drowned.”

“You weren’t even close to drowning,” Bruce grumbled, and yeah, maybe Jason hadn’t recognized that look on his face but that sure was a familiar tone of voice. Bruce had been scared, at least a little.

“Sure, boss,” he said cheerfully, trying to make sure Bruce knew that he was okay, physically and emotionally. “Whatever you say.”

Bruce stopped rubbing out his calf and flicked his forehead.

“Ow!” he complained, but it didn’t really hurt.

“Fine, you almost drowned. But you get to tell Alfred about it.”

“Uh, never mind,” Jason said, backtracking. “I wasn’t really that close to drowning. We don’t need to mention anything to Alfred.”

Bruce grinned at him, and Jason for sure recognized that look: partners in crime.

[killerpancakeburger]

Attending a wizards soiree with Rolan headcanons

You know he's been planning this for weeks. He talks about it non-stop, he paces the room about it, he makes checklists, etc.

Lia and Cal are so done with him, they're just begging for that goddamn event to happen already.

To an unexperienced eye, he's making this a big deal to show off his current accomplishments and status. But you know he's actually anxious about it, even if he would never admit it. So you need to reassure him here and there with encouraging statements without being TOO obvious about it. It's all an art.

Obviously you're going with him - he asked you to. With a lot of flourish. He was so stern about it, you thought something was wrong at first. But after you said yes, he couldn’t hide his relief and happiness from shining on his face. Yes, there was an insecure, illogical part of him who feared you'd refuse. (Once again he would never admit it)

At some point during the evening you get separated. In the group you're in an old wizard spits out very incorrect facts about a specific, obscure branch of magic and the others seem to nod along only because he says it with a lot of assurance and because he's famous and respected. You tranquilly correct him, causing a bit of a scene as he storms off grumbling about the youth nowadays but no one else is hostile to you since you were right.

Soon after Rolan comes to find you, admitting he's impressed with your knowledge but not understanding where you got it from. You stare at him with confusion, raising an inquisitive eyebrow. "What do you mean? You talked about it at great length just the other day." And Rolan gets speechless at the idea of you not only listening to his lengthy speeches on magic but also remembering them to that level.

He decides you both need to go back to the Tower Right Now because he's so proud and flattered and turned on it feels like his chest is gonna explode. Tail swaying hard.

You were already distracting enough in your fancy outfit, thank you. He can’t take more. Even though he chose said outfit.

It's not HIS fault he didn’t expect you to look so good in it. He turned red and speechless when you appeared in it, and ended up saying something rude - "Didn’t know you could actually clean up that good" or Something.

Cal and Lia are ripping their hair off/rolling their eyes in front of that desolating spectacle and intervene - "What my dear brother ACTUALLY meant to say is that you look breathtaking tonight."

[delta-orionis]

4. When iterators were more connected, did your iterator like to socialize on public broadcasts? Or did they tend to keep to their own group?

Three Stars Above Clouds has no local group, and is very far from any other iterators. Despite this, their high altitude allows them to listen in on long range public broadcasts. They rarely contribute, however.

TSAC will happily discuss their research with other iterators, but views them as colleagues more than anything else. As global communications broke down and they lost contact with their distant peers, their isolation only became more apparent.

(TSAC's vibe is basically, "lonely grad student whose only form of socialization is the weekly research group meeting".)

(Also a note- the orange overseer belongs to TSAC- the orange of the overseer forms a triadic color scheme with the blue of their puppet and the green of their accents.)

(Original ask game)

[palmettoshitposts]

(it might look blurry but should be fine if you zoom in! 🧡)

[guppygiggles]

Null is scary /j

Especially with how merciless you describe him to be… I’m both curious and terrified to find out what it would be like to be wrecked by him!

Despite this however, I think that sweet robot deserves a big hug 😽💗

He’s still getting used to the whole physical affection thing, but he’s got the spirit~

[skeletondoggy]

VS TREASURE_VIRUS ~ Devour Only What Is Larger Than Yourself

A NEW ORIGINAL SONG ABOUT A COMPUTER VIRUS WHO FEEDS OFF IMPORTANT INFORMATION AND LARGE FILES!!! I wanted to try a shorter sort “Normal Enemy to Boss Battle” style piece and really liked how it came out!! Super super shoutout to @kallenchi for helping put all my little drawings to the music go follow them

(Also you can find it on YouTube and Soundcloud too as always!!!)

[strawbebbiesart]

Haunted // Love Affair With A House 🏡💌

[chemdisaster]

IT'S DONE

5 Times Scar Couldn't Speak + 1 Time He Didn't Have To

based on this

@stiffyck @jos-has-too-many-hobbies - people who asked to be tagged

[vanmarkus]

Wip Word Search 🔍

rules: use this generator to generate three random words (or however many you'd like to do) and share the lines where they show up in your WIPs

my words: affect, great, opposed

1. affect from the mudslide fic ☔️

He watched as Eddie got up from the couch, carefully depositing Christopher’s legs from his lap before turning back to him and planting a soft kiss onto the top of his soft curls. He was getting too old for these kinds of affections when awake and — as much as he couldn’t wait to see Christopher become his own, independent person — Buck desperately wanted to halt time. It wasn’t a fair thing to think; Chris wasn’t exactly his kid to begin with and regardless of what Eddie’s will said would happen after his death, Buck's place in their lives wasn’t set in stone, so he savored every tiny moment he could. Somewhere along the last handful of years, Eddie and Christopher became Family, with a capital F. Buck loved Chris like he was his own and his feelings for Eddie were clear as day — only if not for the man himself. It was better that way, Buck reasoned. He probably wouldn’t let Buck hang around all the time, if he’d have known. Eddie probably didn’t think of them that way anyway. Buck ran his fingers through the curly hair tickling his cheek and pulled the kid’s small frame just a fraction closer, relishing in the moment of stillness.

2. great from the jealous eddie fic 🧇

“So uh t-tell me about yourself, you know, hobbies, pets, family, whatever.” “That’s pretty broad.” Jason chuckled and Buck felt his cheeks heat up immediately. Wow, he really hasn’t been on a proper date in such a long time that apparently he lost the ability to make conversation. Great. “Sorry I—” “Relax, Buck. It’s alright.” His shoulders sagged a little at that. “I guess cycling is a hobby, right? I’m not allowed pets at my place and uh… Two sisters, parents live in Nevada.” “Uh great, that- that’s great! I have a sister too, my parents live in Pennsylvania though.” Jason assessed his face for a long moment before he leaned back in his chair with a small sigh. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you seem much more nervous than before. Is everything alright?” “Uh yeah— yeah, I’m fine, just…” Buck sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. “Eddie, my uh my partner at the 118, he’s been acting kinda weird about us going out. I just… I don’t know, I guess I got a little into my head about it.” A disapproving frown tugged at the patch of skin between Jason’s eyebrows for a moment, before it disappeared with a sigh. “So he’s one of those guys then.” Buck knew what he meant instantly; the type of guys who were just too macho not to feel threatened by even the mere mention of two men dating. Of course, it couldn’t have been further from the truth —  and Buck was quick to make that clear. “N-no, not at all! He’s a good guy, great actually. He’s my best friend.”

3. opposed from the breeding kink fic 🛏️

“You might be right,” he breathed, leaning over Buck and slipping his hands under his thighs for more leverage, “maybe we should just stay here like this forever.” Eddie’s eyes fluttered shut for a moment when he bottomed out again. It wasn’t a plausible or in any way realistic idea, really, but Eddie found that he still wasn’t opposed to the fantasy of it. Especially not when Buck’s warmth enveloped him so perfectly, while he got to watch his chest rise and fall quicker and quicker, listen to his quiet whines and grunts as Eddie sped up his movements until he hit a steady rhythm and smell as fresh sweat broke through the lingering scent of their shared body wash; tea tree and mint. His hair was still damp from their shower and that was one thing they didn’t share; the shampoo — and god, Eddie was grateful that it never became something that he’d lose on the account of getting used to smelling it on himself, so now he could let the fruity and fresh scent of green apple, and something that uniquely belonged to Buck wash over his senses.

tags under the cut 💛

I was tagged by @hippolotamus @theotherbuckley @daffi-990 @jamespearce9-1-1 @fortheloveofbuddie and @wikiangela thank youuu 💛

✨no pressure tagging: @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @jeeyuns @eddiebabygirldiaz @nmcggg @thewolvesof1998 @ladydorian05

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

i'm kind of amazed how most of the stardew marriage candidates just want you to be their manic pixie dream whatever by agreeing with everything they like and plying them with compliments or praise or whatever (which is fine but a bit. Much) but for shane his romance is just you being there for him while he figures his own shit out... dunno why i never wanted to romance him before he's so good

[your-fave-is-bi]

Painted n dry sets + just painted set, second coat drying

I only made the red raw meat set, the rest were made by my sister n just never got to the being inked stage lol

[beloxiia]

doggystyle, sideways, frontwards, backwards, upside down, 360 degrees, no condoms, skin on skin, on the living room,on the bed room, on the fridge, on the closet, on the ceiling, on the walls on the bathroom on the couch on the car and on the street.

[fideidefenswhore]

Who is your most hated Seymour? For me, it's John, Thomas, Edward and Jane.

roflmao, tbf, i know intellectually that there's not enough there there to justify hating john seymour, but he does give me bad vibes...whatever happened with catherine fillol was weird and i do get the sense he was involved even if not in the rumored way. and also, when siblings hate each other to such an extent, it's often bcus they were pit against each other by their parents, so i get the sense he was not a good father (there's some debate on whether he died late 1536 or 1535, tbf, but if it was the former it's strange that none of children seemed to mourn his death, that he wasn't mourned at court as the queen's father, etc) . margery doesn't have enough about her known for me to judge; it's sort of weird to me that this stereotype has fallen she and jane had a bad relationship and her favorite child/daughter was elizabeth (this occurs in like...several...novels). we don't have an equivalent positive remark to 'next to mine own mother, no woman alive i know better' (AB, about her own, and to bridget wingfield), nor any records of them often being in each other's company during significant events or eras, but we don't have anything negative either. i get you have to make choices in fiction and 'neutral' is not an interesting one but like...damn.

what's interesting about edward and thomas is that, even before their sister becomes queen, edward is not spoken of well by his contemporaries. very early (iirc, 1535) on, his 'small conscience' is decried, and he becomes such an avaricious figure that cromwell and the king have to interfere in his attempts to manipulate and loophole property laws to his own advantage and the impoverishment of others (and, not usually in his favor, despite him being a royal in-law). thomas, however, seems like he's better liked in the 1530s, although this can maybe be attributed to him being more of a nonentity (a comparative example is some tudor authors insisting GB was 'better liked' than his sister anne-- not true, it seems-- or more often, that their sister mary was...which is probably true, but also probably more indicative of relative lack of power and positions and leverage than 'kinder' personality)...it's not until the 1540s that we get comments of the same genre ("somewhat empty of manner"). thomas thus seems more like a figure of gradual corruption, his arrogance was increased by his nephew becoming king, it seems, and resentment brought out an ugly side of his character (arguably, the same with edward, just earlier on).

it's extremely unpopular to say this on here, but yeah, jane is definitely not a favourite of mine, either. but i don't think my reasons for this are really common...i don't care if she slept with henry before marriage, i don't care if she didn't, i just find her biographers weirdly contradictory in their judgements of her character, the nature of her rise, and her own beliefs. there's also like, this sense of historic illiteracy from some of her defenders...joining a royal household (as far as the most prestigious positions, that is) was not the equivalent of serfdom (as in, they could leave at any time). jane's supporters were courtiers who hated anne, so it's reasonable to assume she did, as well. so, there's this sort of moral hypocrisy about jane as a figure and her advancement and how she came to her position that has always prevented me from warming to her as a figure. 'she hated anne and all she stood for' explains her involvement in her downfall, but not her securing the position in her household in the first place. and by virtue of her close proximity to anne as queen, she also knew that it was nigh impossible that she was actually guilty of the accusations of adultery.

what else...her defenders insist that the oaths of supremacy and succession were anathema to her moral compass, yet she likely did have to have had taken them herself, just as a subject, and if not that then definitely as a member of anne's household. this wouldn't have martyred/imperiled her life, althought it probably would have her career (elizabeth darrell never took these, so i wonder if the penalty for women was different...? barton is often cited as an example but this was not in her indictment. princess mary seems to almost have been a victim of this, but it might've been more that her signing was more important since she was a rallying point for dissenters).

and even if jane never took these, the presence of noblewomen serving anne as queen lent to her greater image of royal legitimacy. she had to have known that, and if she didn't believe her position was legitimate...then why be part of that tapestry? there's not an equivalent to her predecessor to be made here, not when anne left her own predecessor's household and began her own as soon as she came to believe catherine was not legitimately queen or henry's wife. any credulousness towards contemporary report of this time would suggest anne was extremely hostile towards her rival, but there is a difference between declaring that you'd sooner watch your rival hanged before revering them and, well...actually doing that (...effectively, if not literally).

actually, i don't think there's actually much to suggest jane was set against the religious supremacy unless you make some suppositional leaps (the dissolution wasn't so explicitly connected here, her support of mary as princess, even if rather cosmetic, could be seen as support for her decision not to take those oaths herself for nigh on two years...). nor against succession acts as brought by parliament, since the same illegitimized any potential rivals to her future children, and she seemed to make a point in one of her only pieces of writing we have in emphasizing edward's legitimacy (implicitly, at the expense of her stepdaughters).

the narrative fiction i probably dislike about jane the most is this idea that she was so reverent of catherine's memory, it's really fucking weird, honestly... it bothers me because i know it's embellished to increase reader/viewer (the tudors comes to mind) sympathy and somehow for me it does the opposite, lol. there's something about the concept of her trading on the memory of this beloved woman (who, herself, probably didn't even remember jane, there's nothing to suggest any kind of friendship between them) who was exiled, this woman whom jane did not a single thing for (not even abstaining from joining the household of her rival), that just really grosses me out. henry was the one who was her husband, and obviously he was a fucking asshole to and about her, but there's at least something more...direct, in his attempted erasure of her memory. it's always bothered me that it's never acknowledged that the antecedent (which was carried on throughout) to jane's queenship was the erasure of both her predecessors, the illegitimization of both their daughters, both of them being subordinated, and, more or less (mary present for christmas, elizabeth not, but both there during the rebellions) equally expelled from court.

[hellion-child]

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