#it was the only thing keepin your mother from leavin!

[froglegsz]

search up Kung Fu Panda Legends of Awesomeness - Fung and His Father, its only 3 seconds and its hilarious i swear

first of all you lied, it was 39 seconds. also it did make me giggle a lil

[annaphoenix1994]

Colter - Eastward Bound

Arthur had never been so happy to be moving. He, as well as the rest of the gang, were sick of the snow. The numbness, the insomnia, the brink famine, was all about to be left at Colter. His body craved sunshine and whiskey, which he hoped a town was closeby wherever they were going. He dismounted his horse as he met up with Dutch to discuss further plans.

"Oh, for Lord's sake! Put that book away and go help!" Miss Grimshaw barked within Arthur's earshot. It didn't take him long to figure out that she was scolding Mary-Beth Gaskill, one of the women in the camp who reminded him a lot of Lenny - she preferred reading or writing over robbing and killing, but could do so if need be. She was also one for romance, taking a liking to Arthur in particular, at least, that was the rumor. He had always thought that she liked how nice he was to her and nothing more than that.

"So, we getting out of this Hellhole?" Arthur asked as he joined Dutch and Hosea.

"We're gonna try, weather seems stable," Dutch assured.

"And we just robbed a Leviticus Cornwall train," Hosea added.

"We got money in our pockets...the worst is behind us, gentlemen! So the question is, where now?"

"I know this country a little," Hosea assured the worried leader. "I told you, we should set up camp in Horseshoe Overlook near Valentine. We'll be able to hide out there no problem as long as we keep our noses clean."

"Well then let's go! Clean noses and everything else!" Dutch commanded as he watched the rest of the gang load up the caravan. "Arthur, you're in that one, bring Hosea, I know you two like to talk about the good old days and what's wrong with old Dutch."

Arthur chuckled as he shook his head, following Dutch's orders as he loaded himself up onto the wagon, Hosea alongside him.

The caravan made its way slowly down the trail. The scenery of lush, white snow slowly turning to dewey green grass. The wind was still cold, though, as it still had a strong breeze, but to Arthur, even that was warm. He let his mind wander to where they were heading. Was there a town where he could have a hot meal other than Pearson's stew? Was there whiskey? Was there laying low for a long while instead of running? Was there hunting ground? Was there any more chances to run into Minnie Barlow? He shook the last question from his head, scolding himself for thinking of her and how he shouldn't think about her, but his mind continued to wander. There was something about her already that he needed to reassure himself on.

Arthur's thoughts were quickly interrupted by Dutch shouting from ahead, sighing a breath of relief that he was only shouting for Lenny and Micah instead of announcing there was trouble ahead.

"Lenny! Micah! Get over here!"

"Yes, boss?" Micah replied as he obeyed Dutch's command, along with Lenny.

"You two ride up ahead, make sure there's no surprises," Dutch ordered. "We've had enough of those."

"Me, with the boy?" Micah responded, almost insulted.

"Just go!"

"Come on, kid," Micah sighed as he spurred his horse into a lope. "You can buy me a whiskey!"

"Get us out the stream!" Hosea panicked as he felt the wagon shutter as they had now crossed into New Hanover. Arthur repeatedly tapped the harness leather across the horse's backs as they pulled the wagon through to the other side, only to be stopped by the rear left wheel buckling and keeping the wagon at a halt.

"Ah, shit!" Arthur shouted.

"Okay, let's take a look," Hosea sighed as he lept from the wagon, walking around the back.

"You alright back there?"

"Does everything look alright?" Arthur argued as he too dismounted from the wagon.

"Well, what's goin' on?" He heard Javier ask.

"I broke the goddamn wheel!" Arthur shouted, scolding himself.

"Alright, let's get it fixed!" Hosea assured him as Charles rushed over to help, pairing with the old man as they lifted up the rear of the wagon as best as they could as Arthur rushed to push the wheel back into place.

"You still strong enough to hold up a wagon?" Arthur teased as he tightened the joints.

"Shut up!" Hosea replied gruffly.

"I'm just sayin'!" Arthur replied.

"Well, say less!"

"See, you ain't so useless after all!" Arthur teased as he helped Charles and Hosea pick up the items that had fallen off.

"Not quite!" Hosea chuckled as he picked up a suitcase, seeing that Charles had noticed the other eyes that were on them, watching from the cliffside ahead...

"What you think?" Arthur asked hesitantly.

"If they wanted trouble, we wouldn't have seen 'em," Charles assured the two as Hosea waved a sign of peace to them. "Poor bastards... We really screwed them over down here. Come on, let's not push our luck,"

"What happened?" Arthur asked.

"Well, get in, I'll tell ya on the way," Hosea said as the men quickly loaded themselved back up onto the wagon. "Not too far now, stay on this trail. We'll follow the river then cut left inland," Hosea directed. "So... Yes, the Indians in these parts got sold a very raw deal. This is the Heartlands we're going to, good farming and grazing country, they lost it all. Stolen clean away from them it was, even every blade of grass. Killed or herded up to the reservations in the middle of nowhere." Hosea explained.

"And how's that different from everywhere else?" Charles asked.

"Well, maybe it's not. I just heard some of the army out here was particularly, uh, unpleasant about it."

"Unpleasant? How do you rob and kill people pleasantly?" Charles questioned. "We don't, in spite of Dutch's talk."

"I fear I was perhaps trying to simplify something more complicated for the benefit of our blockheaded driver here." Hosea teased.

"Hey, don't blame it on me!" Arthur replied. "Never forget, this here's a conman, Charles, born and bred. Just 'cause it sounds fancy don't mean he knows a damn thing about what he's talkin' about." Arthur explained.

"Oh, but I sure know about that there 'wanted' poster you're keepin' on you," Hosea chuckled. "You plannin' on goin' after her, aren't you?"

Arthur scoffed, "No. Like I said, you don't know what you're talkin' about."

"Are you still talking about that Minnie Barlow woman? What's the deal about her anyway? Lenny told me that she saved your hide back on that train." Charles intervened.

"Oh, did she now?" Hosea asked, raising his grey brows. "I didn't know about this!"

'Shit!' Arthur thought to himself. He was now going to have to talk about her. He looked at the smug grin on Hosea's face as he loved to try and land him a relationship that he would never settle for. He had already tried with Mary-Beth, which now made things almost awkward in camp. "I don't think it was her," Arthur grit, tapping the harness leather harder on the horse's backs.

"Yeah?" Hosea questioned. "Anyway, Charles, Minnie Barlow is known as Bandit Barlow around here. By what I've read, she used to work for some feller who is employed with the Pinkertons. Apparently, she knew too much and her supervisor tried to get her killed. After she found out about it, she turned around and robbed him, then became an outlaw!" Hosea explained, chuckling.

"Does she have a gang or what?"

"No, she runs alone," Hosea replied. "I reckon she had a small gang a few years ago, but they knew about her bounty and tried to have her captured for the payment. According to the poster Arthur is dearly holding on to, she has eight-thousand dollars for her head," Hosea snickered. "I don't know much about her past, just by what I've read or heard, but I do know she robbed the Lemoyne National Bank in Saint Denis, robbing a well-known tycoon as well. Some Italian feller. Robbed him and that bank in broad daylight and nobody knew until she was long gone,"

"Sounds like I need to buy her a drink and have a few hours of her time just to hear the stories!" Charles replied, intrigued. "When did the bank robbery happen?"

"A couple of years ago," Hosea replied. "By what I read, the robbery took up to three months to do without anybody knowin'. She got a job there, made it well with the bank manager over time, and got a promotion to a loan manager position and the fellers she was runnin' with would come in every few weeks to "take out a loan" of a few thousand dollars when she would just walk into the safe and give them as much money as she could. After the bank was running low on funds, they didn't question her as she covered her tracks. Once time got scarce, she had one of her boys take out another big loan before she made a break for it."

"Sounds like she and Dutch would get along," Arthur replied, smirking at the thought of how smart the woman was.

"I'm sure," Charles said. "So, how did nobody catch her?"

"She used a fake name to get the job. The only thing that messed her up was that she got the wrong men for the job. They were giving details to the Pinkertons the whole time. They turned her name in for the bounty after she gave orders to rob a train goin' towards Rhodes. Big roadblock over the tracks, but Minnie took wind of it and made a break for it, leavin' her two guys to fend for themselves. They ended up getting arrested and are now in a state penitentiary. Since then, only her tracks have been discovered, but no sign of her. She's slick, now," Hosea warned.

"Sure," Arthur replied. "I'm sure she won't be that hard to find..."

Hosea chuckled, "Let me know how that goes." He teased.

"So..." Arthur cleared his throat, taking in all of the new information he had just learned of his apparent crush. "What happened to your tribe?" He asked Charles.

"I don't even know if I have one," Charles replied. "Least not that I can remember. My father was a colored man. They told me he lived with our people for a while, a number of free men did, but when we were forced to move from our lands, the three of us fled. I was too young to really remember much. All live I've been on the run. A couple of years later, some soldiers captured my mother, took her somewhere. We never saw her again. We drifted around... He was a very sad man and the drink had a mean hold on him. Around thirteen... I just took off on my own." He explained.

"That was about the age we found young Arthur here, maybe a little older," Hosea said. "A wilder delinquent you never did see. But he learned fast."

"Not as fast as Marston, apparently," Arthur replied, his jealousy spiking yet again.

"Wait... I don't understand," Charles said, confused. "What's the problem between you two?"

"Arthur?" Hosea said, insisting for him to explain.

"It's a long story," Arthur sighed. "We still heading the right way?" He asked, now shifting during the awkward silence.

───※ ·❆· ※───

"You okay, pa?" Minnie asked her father as she woke from a midday nap, something she never did unless she needed it. She gripped her shawl tighter as the wind from the Cumberland Forest engulfed the cabin.

"Somethin' don't feel right," He replied, gripping his rifle as he continued to stare out the window. She knew this wasn't anything new as he had been acting like this for a couple of years, but she too got the odd feeling in her gut. She needed to prepare.

"I'm sure it's nothin', pa," Minnie assured as she stepped closer to her father, patting his shoulder. "Want me to cook ya somethin'?"

"No, I'm not hungry. Night's comin' soon. Best get some rest. I'll be out on the porch."

She nodded and shook her head, not daring to inform her father that it was only early in the afternoon. She went to the chest at the end of the bed, retrieving her gunbelt and tightening it around her waist before walking out of the cabin, passing her father who was sitting in the rocking chair. "I'm gonna go feed the chickens and get the eggs, but we'll need some more food soon. Want me to go into town later?" She asked.

"No need, dear. I will. I need to get out of here for a bit. Those mountains are taunting me." He replied, taking a drag off of his pipe.

"You'll need a horse, take Trace." She suggested as she pointed to her buckskin Quarter Horse.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, he'll take care of you. He always does." She smiled.

"Okay, well I'll take him out first thing in the mornin' to Valentine and get some more food," He nodded, a grin appearing on his face as he was excited to ride a horse again, but the lurking doom he felt coming never did settle in his mind. He didn't want to leave his daughter alone tomorrow, but whatever was coming, he knew they both couldn't escape. At least she had a fighting chance.

[kat-lockhart]

A Family Reunited

“Agh! Ya drooled on my arm! Ma! Kat’s in my room again!”

Kat dreamt of Cody often, even before she knew he had gone missing. He was an integral part of her happy memories, so when her dreams were peaceful, he was there to keep things interesting. However, when he yelled, it sounded distant, and then she felt herself falling. In that place between sleep and consciousness, Kat panicked. She was falling away and thought she would lose him forever.

Instead, she landed roughly on the wooden floor. She stared up, blinking blearily at the ceiling of her family’s farmhouse. While still fighting the fog of sleep, a cherub shaped face peeked over the edge of the bed. For as angelic as he seemed, Cody always wore an impish grin best.

“Mornin’ sleepy head,” he teased as he reached down to wipe his arm off on her nightshirt.

Kat still wasn’t completely convinced it was her brother. Following her first battle, she found everything just seemed like a dream. Even the small things, like the letter from Colton and the contents of the safe, were difficult to accept.

But, Cody.

Cody was a whole other animal. He had been missing for over a year. No one said it aloud, but it was commonly assumed that he had died during the Legion invasions in Westfall. No body was ever recovered, so Jane and Kat just went on hoping he was lost.

“Ya just gonna lie there and stare or get off your ass and give me a hug?” He pressed, still grinning at her.

Without any further prompting needed, Kat rolled to her feet and practically tackled her brother. She hugged him tightly and he did the same. They had always had a close relationship, the sort of siblings who expressed their familial love for one another without shame but fought like a cat and dog locked in a crate.

“We thought you were…” Kat wept as she held him.

“So did I,” Cody replied, holding back his own tears.

“What…what happened? What’dya remember?”

“I was takin a wagon to Westfall to get hay for the season and a pair of worgen jumped me just off the bridge. They roughed me up and I passed out, but I know I did some damage. Then I woke up in some fancy house somewhere and had a chat with that fuck Colton. I was kept there a couple days and then drugged. I woke up this mornin’ and you were droolin’ on my arm. Weirdo. AH! And now you are cryin’ on me. Why’re you so weird?”

Kat hugged him harder, not letting go as he squirmed. When he realized she wasn’t letting go, he started to hug her tighter. It was a game from their childhood, when they were told to hug and make up. They would hug each other with increasing strength until one finally tapped out. It was a game of balance, because neither sibling truly wanted to hurt the other, but they both wanted to win.

“Alright! I yield,” Kat yelped.

Her body ached from the effort that had gone into Cody’s rescue. The only actual injury she sustained was from getting tossed back by the shadow entity and some minor scrapes from her underclothing burning up during her efforts to destroy the void effigy.

“So, you don’t remember anything else? Like what you talked to Colton about? Or how long you have been gone?” Kat asked as she moved back to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Well, all that ain’t really like a memory. It’s…like a dream? Maybe? Like I knew I was gone a long time. Felt like a lot longer than it probably was, though. It was like my eyes were always closed but I could kinda see light and sorta hear voices. I was scared most of the time, but never too scared to keep faith. When I would start to pray, everything would go completely black again. I thought it was the Light leavin’ me. That’s what was scary.”

Kat caught Cody in another hug, shaking her head.

“Relax, sis. I didn’t lose my faith. After all, my prayers were ultimately answered, right? I knew if anyone would come get me, it’d be you. You’d get outta jail and start fightin’ the world to find me,” he laughed as he pushed her back slightly.

Kat laughed softly and wiped away her tears. Through all their fighting over the years, there was an unspoken rule between them.

“No one messes with my brother, but me,” she replied.

“And no one messes with my sister, but me,” Cody repeated back. “Now tell me what you’ve been up to. Who was the guy carrying me out of the dark?”

“Now just hold on a minu—” Kat started to protest, until she realized he was being figurative. “Oh! That was Robar FitzWalter. One of the advisors to Lord Darsa Carrington, the Earl of Stonebrill.”

Cody blinked dumbly at her before waving his hands and shaking his head.

“Slow down, now. A what to who of who?”

Kat laughed. She had a feeling that her new relationship with nobility would shock her brother. She basked in the light of the upper hand a moment before rolling back to explain.

“So, after I got outta jail, I had a hard time findin’ a job, thanks to the fuckers who took you.”

She paused when Cody gave her a look, as if to say he would be telling their mother that Kat was using strong language in the house. She waved him off and continued on.

“Well, one day, Harris and I were just slummin’ around in Old Town and this fancy dressed guy comes stormin’ past. Harris tried to rob him and got his ass royally handed to him. I didn’t try nothin’ so he bought me a meal and a drink and we talked about what I was goin’ through. Well this guy, Lord Darsa Carrington, decided to give me a job as his smelter.”

“As time went on, he took offense to the Brothers’ actions and started a war with them. He’s had people watchin the farm and has…well basically saved my life.”

It was a hard admission to make to Cody in that moment. She didn’t want to tell him about the things that happened or the things she was considering, so she just blurted it out and pressed on.

“Last night, we put an end to all of it. Cause, the gang I was a part of turned out to be a cult. They were keepin’ you to be some sort of vessel for their god.”

Kat watched him carefully to see how he took the news. He nodded slowly as he drank in the details and was silent for several moments before smirking.

“So, your sweet on this Lord are ya? Or you plan on poppin’ him in the nose like you did Ricky when we were kids.”

Kat rolled her eyes and slugged Cody in the shoulder.

“Stop being such an ignoramus.”

“Oh ho! Big word for such a small girl.”

Kat groaned and rolled her eyes again. This was life with Cody, though, and she knew deep down that she would take life with him over life without him any day.

“Come on. Ma’s probably baking up a storm to take her mind off letting you sleep. She was so worried when we got home cause I carried…OH YEA! I carried your hefty ass up these stairs after fighting a Void god! You’d thing you woulda lost some damn weight,” Kat jeered. “You owe me sooo big.”

Cody fell back on the bed howling with laughter. When he sat back up he leaned over to lay a smacking kiss on his sister’s forehead and hopped out of bed.

“I don’t owe you nothin. It’s your job, remember?” He teased as he moved out of the room.

Kat sat on his bed and marveled at how normal it all felt. She was waiting to wake up, to realize that her worst fears about Cody’s return were all true. She expected to wake up kneeling at his bed and find him tormented by unspeakable horrors. She pictured him to be an unrecognizable husk of the man he once was. She sat there and waited for the worst.

But it never came.

“Kat. Get your ass down here or Ma’s gonna hover me to death!”

“Cody Tristan Lockhart! Swear jar,” Jane chided.

Some things would always be in a state of change, but the precious things, the things Kat’s happiness were made of, never seemed to change.

[ @darsacarrington for mentions. I swear, Mal will get her credit too!]