#it was the half-dead Santa flamingo that made it for me

[seldnei]

Xmas shopping with Mrs Seldnei’s Mom:

Scott: Holy fuck, Christmas chaos!

(We turn to see one of THOSE decorated houses. You know the ones)

Me: Holy shit!

Z: Mother of God.

Mom: Why yes, there she is.

[carryonuptheandes]

25 October – Onto the Amazon Basin...Rurrenabaque

After first arriving in Santa Cruz 13 days ago it’s finally time to move on to another part of the country. It feels like I probably spent too many days in what is little more than a busy large modern city but the hostel was great, the city was a good base for other trips and for taking shelter from the rain, and I had time to get to know some locals and learn more about the city and life here. As I leave for the north I regret not visiting the Parque Nacional Toro Toro that was recommended by many fellows travellers but I took the decision not to rush around (that would have involved the best part of four days just travelling). So, the city of Cochabamba and the Park remains on the to-do list!

I said my farewells to the owner of the hostel, which this morning was teeming with Mennonites, and head for Viri Viru international airport. This time I was flying with amaszonas, a one hour flight to La Paz, for a connecting 30 minute flight to the small town of Rurrenabaque, otherwise known as Rurre. I was happy to have a 4-5 hour connection since the first flight was delayed by an hour; the lack of information at the gate seemed to reflect the pace of life here! Unfortunately the weather continues to be cloudy so my window seat didn’t provide a lot of interest and we arrived into a very grey and wet La Paz, where on leaving the plane I was reminded of the cold (here it was 15C, around half of what I’d been used to of late), and the effect of high altitude (I was back to over 4,000m) as my water bottle got over excited and I got a good soaking as I took a drink from it.

The 'approximately 28 minute flight time' to Rurre included a service of black or white coffee or water! The small plane was noticeably occupied by other travellers, and suddenly I felt like I was back on the gringo trail. The clouds started to disperse during the last ten minutes for us to enjoy views of lush green forested mountains and milky brown rivers below. It wasn’t clear where the runway was as we were coming into land, but all became apparent after a sharp 90 degree turn to the left just before we hit the short runway, where shuttle buses waited to take us to the 'terminal building'. After my extended stay in the big city, Rurre was immediately appealing for its size and laid-back feel. The town’s economy depends very heavily on tourism, therefore the impact of tougher visa restrictions on some nationalities has seen it suffer in recent years. Also, locals fear that the impacts on the local eco-system of a proposed nearby hydro-electric power station may only make matters worse.

The following morning it was time to meet my companions for the Amazon basin tour, the principal reason for my visit to Rurre. I arrived at the office to meet Catherine and her mum Patricia from Quebec enjoying a two week break ahead of starting working life, and Lucie from France on an enviable ten month trip. We spent two hours on the 'highway' to Santa Rosa de Yacuma frequently passing through clouds of dust to overtake lorries. The guide knew exactly where to stop for us to view sloths, aka lazy monkeys, hanging out in the trees with their babies clinging to them.

After lunch, time to board the boat down the Yacuma for a two hour cruise to the lodge, during which we were introduced to the incredible variety of wildlife including inquisitive and intimidating looking caymans (frequently with mouth wide open as they tried to keep cool), lively squirrel monkeys, turtles clinging to protruding logs, and the friendly looking capybara (biggest rodent in the world), not dissimilar to huge guinea pigs. Plus a diverse variety of birds including flamingo, kingfisher, Amazon condor, storks, and the blue faced spiky crested pheasant-esque hoatzin. The river is also home to pink freshwater dolphins although these were elusive.

The lodge turned out to be only a few months old and from what we saw of others from the river we had made a good choice. We arrived just in time for a family of around 12 squirrel monkeys crossing from tree to tree in the grounds. The first evening we set off downstream to a sunset spot complete with a bar; with the combined heat and humidity of the day I was more than ready for a cold beer. The arrival of dusk was met with an army of toads that appeared from nowhere, one of which was unlucky to find itself under my foot, and we watched with amusement the two resident kittens play kitten and toad. We returned to the lodge in the dark, armed with torchlights to admire the eerie collection of cayman eyes as we motor boated back; during a few minutes we cruised without the motor and listened to the incredible sounds, and hoped that there wasn’t a hungry cayman hanging out nearby.

Although covered in a generous amount of DEET and laying under a mosquito net (albeit with some holes) I was surprised not to hear a single mosquito during both nights; the second night however was disturbed by some rustling underneath the lodge. Since we hadn’t yet seen a live snake, some mild paranoia set in!

We started the second day with a very sweaty walk through the adjacent pampa, our tour guide clearing the way with his machete. We had hoped (albeit semi reluctantly) to see snakes (including the anoconda), but we only got to meet a dead snake in a swamp, not far from a strong smelling dead cayman that the vultures were enjoying. The most intimidating thing we saw was the armadillo wasp nest, where DEET was applied generously to the top of our wellies as the guide suddenly realised that the ticks were happy to see us.

The planned swim with the pink dolphins didn’t materialise since the guide struggled to find any! He eventually found one but informed us that the water would only be safe with a group of them protecting the territory. Having seen the piranha teeth when fishing (well attempting to in my case) the evening before, and the mouths of many cayman, we were relieved not to be swimming in the murky looking water. The return to town was also not as planned, with the motor failing. Luckily a boat behind us came to our rescue, which with the extra bodies and baggage did very well to remain above water.

Back in Rurre, I checked back into the hostal to find my room without power, further to me having to change rooms the first night there! I stayed put this time since the room was a decent size, and tried not to smirk at the owner’s reminder the following morning to put a good review on booking.com! After a beer by the bustling riverfront I met a local for dinner and a mini-tour. He showed me the start of the track to the mirador swimming pool which was my priority for the following morning, when I arrived to find a decent sized pool with an amazing view of the town below, along with the resident dogs but no pool owner. While waiting for him I got chatting to a local guy who tried to impress me with, to date, his four wives and twelve kids! I got onto this subject later with the pool owner, who has nine children to his name. Two real life examples of the common large Bolivian family! Anyway, since I arrived before the afternoon rush I had the pool to myself and enjoyed my first proper swim in weeks. The bus back to the airport was boarded by a bickering English couple, less than impressed that the driver couldn’t speak English!

[rassasassalin]

I like that we're starting out Smackdown talking about the Women's Rumble, but I am slightly worried, considering the last time we had a turning point for women's wrestling in the WWE, that the last "woman" to come in will be Santino Marella in drag again and 'Santina' will end up winning the whole thing.  Like, listen, I understand what they did with Ellesworth, and as far as heelworking goes, it was brilliant, that was legit, real heat for Ellesworth and Carmella.  But the timing was so fucking bad.  And then before that, it was the women's hell in a cell and that was... well it wasn't Awful but it wasn't super great either.

I'm feeling slightly awkward about Daniel and Shane having it out right now.  It feels like when the Folks are trying to not have an arguement because their kiddos are in the same room but they're also not going to let the subject that could start an argument drop because that would mean the other would win by default and they refuse. I know people think this'll be the start of a heel turn for Daniel, but honestly, this might be a heel Shane turn.  I mean, we all know that modern WWE, every McMahon, no matter what they do, are at their core, a heel.  Then again, they might be doing that really weird thing where everyone in the company- outside of like, Corey- treat the obvious Face as a Heel despite the fact that the fan's, the fan's friends and family, and like Sasquatches living in the wilds of Washington State know that the "heel" is actually totally in the right and are the true good guy in the scenario. DANIEL KNOW DON'T TELL HIM TO FIRE YOU HE'S A MCMAHON HE'LL FUCKING DO IT jesus wept ouch daniel that's painful crowd please stop with the who's you're daddy quote gulak wouldn't approve.

...Don't trust that.  Shane's a McMahon, they don't let people get one over on them like that, this is going to end in tears.

Heeeeeey there Usos.  Everyone's going shirtless now.  The Twins, Baron...  I'm alright with this. Dig the Usos, but tbh, I'm actually rooting for Chad and Sheldon.. uh... Chaldon? ��Gabejamin?  Their names don't really go together easily but I'll forgive them for that. Fucking beautiful, I love these boys, Benjamin is the fucking best, I'm so exicted to see them doing well.

Oooh, a Dolph celebration.  While Dolph's going through his partypooper no fun phase.  Wow.  So excited.

...Okay, that was a damn good package about the Lady's Rumble, yeah, I'm with you Charlotte, I legit have chills.  I'm still worried, but I'm also Hopeful. Still half suspecting Charlotte to go "But congratulations the most to ME, Who made all of this Possible by being AMAZING and PERFECT in all ways haha I'm still a baddy at heart because I'm best heel"  I mean, I know she won't because there are barely any Faces in the SD women's division, but still. Aw nice, using that numbers game AGAINST the Riot(t?) Squad.  More people you have in your group, the more likely you are to get in someone else's way

NEW DAY I LOVE YOU. ..............OH MY GOD, IT'S RUSEV AND AIDEN!!!  I HAD NO IDEA, THEIR DISGUISES ARE SO GOOD. Could they have a merch off?  No, but seriously, two of the best merch sellers in the WWE.  And could you imagine what it would do for their sales numbers, if people knew that actually buying shirts and cereal and stuffies and what have you.  And if they're open and upfront about it, then it comes off as more charming than, you know, a heartless attempt at just getting more money.  It's a win all around. ...but please let Rusev and Aiden come out to fight still dressed up and let them assure the crowd that it is in fact them underneath their costumes becauase that's like one of my favorite wrestling tropes when the crowd gets to act SUPER AMAZINGLY MINDBLOWINGLY SURPRISED when someone gets unmasked and such.

PLEASE, CROWDS, START SINGING ZIGGLER'S THEME ANYWAY. Although, now that I think about it, outside of I'm Here To Show The World, I... yeah, I don't know it either when I don't hear it. ...Is Dolph wearing a dress shirt with little pink flamingos all over it???????????  What is???  Dolph, how am I supposed to take your serious heel promo seriously when Flamingos????????????????????  Dolph please, please, help me help you I can't even pay attention to what you're saying I'm only hearing like every three words or so becauase fucking Flamingos.  Do they symbolize something???  Are you trying to tell us something Dolph??????  How do you even buy a dress shirt with tiny pink flamingos printed on it?  Where does one go to buy that???????   Yes I know you've got all these accolades I know dude, but F L A M I N G O S.  Awwww, Simon.  AND FLAMINGO PINK SHORTS. Oooooooh Shitttttt, Dolph, don't mention succesful MitB cash ins, that's a bad idea, and I don't think your flamingos will be a proper sheild against an angry Baron HOLY SHIT THEY SHOWED AJ LEE AGAIN ON LIVE TV!!!!!!  FOR LIKE A SECOND BUT SHE WAS THERE. THE FUCKING FLAMINGOS I'M DYING, I"M SORRY BUT I JUST CAN"T GET OVER THEM "...You don't deserve this title"??? and then pull a Punk? Dolph, what are you doing, what are you going to do to that belt???? ...What?  He's just going to- is this Dolph retiring?  They won't even let him go out on a match?????????  The Shit Is This???????  That can't be it.  No, honestly, that'd be super fucked up, I'm not the biggest Dolph fan but I appreciate what he's done for the company and he should go out passing the torch to someone else, like Sami or Tye or someone, you know???  Fuck, I don't like that.  I can't believe I'm saying this but I'd rather he'd have spit or stompped or something on on the belt.  I feel very unsettled and confused and I don't like it.

And the WWE's gonna pull a Disney here.  You know, putting on a goofy match after that bullshit isn't going to make me forget the trauma that you just put me through, you're just going to make me feel more emotionally confused.

John Cena is officially Santa now, mmkay.

Excuse me mister announcer, I think you mean Santa and Frosty. So goofy costumes is making me think about Breezango, who are nowhere to be seen, so I guess I'm just to assume that they've been officially murdered and are dead noooooooooo AIDEN WHAT IS THE BACK OF YOUR COSTUME WHY DOES IT HAVE A SEXY PEEPHOLE ALSO COREY WOW DUDE TOO SOON CAN WE NOT ABOUT MY MONGO I like how they did the rusev day chant to New Day Rocks that makes me happy. Pfffft. Rusev taking back his undies.  Pfffffft. Seriously Rusev is so great, he deserves the world. Pfffffff pancakes of positivity. Actually, pancakes sound amazing, but I don't have any syrup in the house right now.  I suppose I could make them pre-sweetened...  Hmmm... So just so it's on the record, I love Xavier's boots.  I love his little elf boots they're great, so good have always been the greatest. YES AIDEN, SHOW THEM WHAT DAY IT IS HELL YES KILL THAT TABLE! OH WAIT NO!!!!!!!!  NOT THE PANCAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! more of a coolwhip gal myself too. i know it's not real cream but like, you know, just kinda tastes better to me. I love how Dramatic Xavier is.  And how Dramatic Aiden is. ...Jesus Xavier, don't- that was gross, let's not ever do THAT again please, oh god.

Still weirded out by the WWF commercials.  I don't think I'll ever not be weirded out by the WWF commercials.

You know what I'm looking forward to???  The point in time where technology has advanced enough that we can get 360 degree cameras at wrestling avents so that I can choose where I want to look.  I know it'll be even more death to Kayfabe, but like, I wanna see wrestlers dancing to other wrestler's themes.  And also be sometimes it feels like a lot of the time the camera work isn't fucking great and at least if I miss important stuff it'll be because of my own inabilities and not because of someone else.

Awww, I was hoping AJ and Shinsuke were going to take out my darling Singh bros, whom I love, but would also kind of love watching them get beaten the fuck up. Sami you can't say you weren't doing anything with his hair when you bring up your hand and you still have Shin's hair on your fingers. Yes, Nakamura messed with Sami's chesthair but at least he didn't tweak a nipple or something, right?  Right.  Gotta look at the brightside guys. JESUS CHRIST POOR SAMI THAT HURT *ME* IS YOUR PELVIS OKAY, PLEASE DON'T PUKE THAT'LL SET ME OFF HOLY SHIT SERIOUSLY, we're three commercials in and I'm still not over it was that planned was that supposed to happen??? that must have knocked the air outta him if nothing else but christ I'm seriously in pain over here just thinking about it happening to me I can't even. Sami's back up, okay, but holy shit I wouldn't be I'd just roll under the ring and allow myself to die in peace. ...That was a nice move by Jinder messing with the ropes, dangit.

C'mon Ref, SEND... THEM... OUT!!!  ...wait, no, despite my love of that trope, I love the Singh's too much, they're too good to send them away.  Also why do they keep- The fuck was that with AJ and Randy???  The Phenomenal Forearm doesn't need any inair assitence???  That was kinda dumb guys.  Guys, I love you, but that was goofy.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?  DON'T CARE BECAUSE NOW IT'S FINALLY TIME FOR SOME DREW05LIVE!!! ...but also let me take a moment before that to appreciate how beautiful and graceful Shinsuke is, wow, I love him.