#it was so sad seeing a glimpse of his backstory

[pemdas-chicken-nugget]

day 48!

my phone died, on the bus ride home, so in a desperate attempt at survival my brain remembered i have a pencil and a sketchbook

so this came out🧑‍🦽

[cultofcipher]

Bill Cipher thoughts (BoB Spoilers Ahead)

I'm really sitting on how Bill's displayed so much of himself indirectly in the BoB. How during the Love section he denies having exes, marking them out. How said exes show up SEVERAL times scratched out or are regarded with this bitterness of someone who did NOT do the breaking up part. Bill got dumped. Every time. And is desperately trying to bury his feelings.

And that's something I think the Book of Bill really highlights in a way. The fact that Bill has feelings. That deep down he's a broken triangle. It's all over the book's writing. Him pointing out how to use denial and rationalization and other bad coping mechanisms to basically ignore and lie to himself (and show us how to do it) and basically convince himself that he is as heartless as he tries to be. Him avoiding his exes. The tone he uses and the avoidance really giving the "I don't handle breakups well and I'm still petty about it". Him constantly telling himself that he's fine. He's not fine. Him crying over Ford leaving and getting wasted. Him being bitter about the henchmaniacs not calling. His regret over what happened to his world. His loneliness. GOD his loneliness. His self-hatred. His scathing remark about definitely NOT having some tragic backstory that humanizes him and how he's not an "I can fix him case". Calling himself a monster. His longing for home. The "Last one breathing". The "I tried to change the past". The "my hands shaking, as I realized I could never undo the". The "until there was no one left but me, covered in blood, alone in the universe". The goddamn "I don't want to die alone" Valentine's card. The last few pages. Just, the last few pages. That isolation, his pained "I'M FINE". The almost sad plea for someone to let him out.

Bill cares. He's fucked up, unstable, violent. But he does care about people he gets along with and he feels understand him. For every "I'm just playing the bit" and using people with nice gestures, I think a fraction of that is somewhat genuine. And he hates it. He hates his own vulnerability. He hates his lack of apathy. He's denying himself his own emotions constantly under so many layers of distractions, eldritch horrors, and repression. He can't think about home, about failure, about how every relationship he's ever had, platonically or otherwise, ended. And it wasn't on his terms.

Him talking about/to his mom when he's drunk. How his mom called him Billy as a kid. How his home life sounded simple. How Bill as an individual is anything BUT simple. And how his drunken state holds such fondness for that simplicity, yet it was suffocating. How he would've broken free eventually, inevitably, because he knew that's who he was. It's his nature. He was destined for more.

How it cost him everything.

How he's constantly chasing insanity like it's a drug. Like he needs the power trip to stay high. To not think too hard. To drown out his emotions and his self-reflections and everything he hates about himself.

How in Gravity Falls he still tried to get Ford to side with him after everything, cause that was his vulnerability showing, for the slightest glimpse of a moment. Cause he doesn't want to do it alone. Him reaching out to the reader in his book, because he doesn't want to do it alone. Can't do it alone. Even when he eventually betrays that person, I think him offering Ford that cushy spot alongside his henchmaniacs makes me think that yeah, Bill actually would've upheld his end of the deal.

He thinks he wants multiversal domination. He thinks Weirdmageddon is his Magnum Oppus. His purpose. But he's so lost. If he ever does get what he wants, he won't know what to do with himself. He'll be faced with the "Now what?". He'll hit the end of the road and realize how unsatisfying it is. How this isn't what he wanted.

How lonely it is to be God.

I think the Axolotl sees that in Bill. It's why he doesn't try to destroy him or attack him or anything. He sees that inner self of Bill. Sees him for what he really is. Someone who needs a LOT of therapy, a true, honest to goodness friend or partner in his life, and maybe a more sustainable life purpose or hobby. He has so much potential and in a way his pursuit of power, rather than being an actualization of his abilities, is a waste of them, because it gets him nowhere.

And he needs help, even if he doesn't think he does. He's a depressed alcoholic frat boy trying to drown his misery in a way that hurts and kills worlds. He's a girlfailure, a bisexual/pansexual disaster (he's at LEAST canonically bisexual or at MOST canonically pan cause this guy has dated both ways).

Bill's book is so incredibly amazing for what it is. All the lies, all the unrealiable narrator parts of Bill's facades and flaws and him being himself and all of his genuine thoughts and feelings bleeding through the lines and showing themselves but only in a way that you can really understand if you understand him and can tell when he's lying and when he's not. To see the real parts of him, and everything else. This book was perfect, and it was perfectly imperfectly him. This truly is Bill's book. It's so him in such a raw and genuine yet dishonest way. I'm gonna cherish this damn book forever.

[mgparker]

Come Back to Me

Marc Spector/Steven Grant x F!Reader

Summary: Mark leaves on a mission for Khonshu while you deal with a confrontation of your own. Unfortunately, this particular foe is aware of your specific skill set and uses your weakest spot to deliver a fatal wound. Laying there defenseless and abandoned, your final desire is to speak to the love of your life one last time.

warnings: ANGSTTTT!! (the fav), character backstory, flashbacks, character death, reader wound, sadness, despair etc etc, cliffhanger

masterlist!

“M-Mark?” Fuck. Fuck. Your voice was wobblier than you had expected.

“Baby?” You heard some shuffling. “What’s wrong?”

You pulled the phone away to clear your throat. “Nothing’s wrong, sweetheart. I just wanted to hear your voice.”

Despite your assurances, he wouldn’t be fooled. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” you breathed. “Yeah, I just wanted to talk.”

The pain was spreading from your side, crawling through your torso like deadly vines. It was nearly blinding. Pulling the phone away from your mouth, you tried to steady your breathing.

This isn’t how you wanted to go. Whimpering in pain and regretting every decision that got you here.

No. What you wanted was to hear your lover’s voice one last time. The warm timbre of his essence. Your favorite sound in the entire world.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He pressed. “Where are you?”

Your man was nothing if not stubborn. “Yes, baby. I’m okay—“ you really weren’t. “What—what did you do today?”

Marc sucked in air through his clenched teeth, gripping his phone with white knuckles. “It was meant to be a surprise, but I’m coming home for a few days… our leads haven’t gotten us anywhere and Khonshu believes we just need a comfortable place to think.”

You would’ve scoffed at that if your chest and throat weren’t on fire. Khonshu believes?

The big bird knew what Marc would be returning to. He knew you were lying in a pool of your own blood.

The thought sent a surge of panic through your body, even as the pain was beginning to overwhelm you. “No! Uh—um you— you’re already so close. W-what are you stuck on?���

Tears welled in your eyes, it felt like a blazing iron rod was being shoved into your chest and dragged up slowly until every organ could feel the flame.

It was silent on the other end for a heavy moment, before Marc’s deep voice hesitantly spoke your name. His tone lifted, suspended in question.

A shake courses through you, fear beginning to blossom in the pit of your stomach. The last thing you wanted was for him to panic… and now you’re beginning to panic as well.

You weren’t ready.

A sob broke through your lips before you could stop it. As if you even had the strength to.

“Marc,” you sobbed, turning your head to gaze at the phone beside you. As if it would give you one last glimpse at the love of your life.

His breathing picks up frantically. “Where are you? Tell me now.”

On his end, fabric is wrapping around his body at a faster rate than it ever had before. He could feel the strength of Khonshu enter him, the god’s presence filling the void.

The corners of your vision darkened and just when you thought you’d scream from the pain— it was gone. Miraculously, you felt nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Your heart dropped.

“I’m sorry,” a daze washed over you. There was nothing else to do but wait. A forlorn smile graced your paling face. “I’m so sorry, baby. There isn’t much time left.”

“What time?! Stop this shit, where are you? I can make it there as soon as you tell me.”

“There’s not enough time,” you pressed. You were coming to terms with the distant bright light that was supposed to be illuminating your vision.

You would’ve wished that that was what you were seeing as you drifted off, but one wish stood above all the others—

Your desire to be with Marc and Steven.

You barely notice the frantic yelling on the other end of the line before you’re cutting it off weakly.

“I—“ you go to clear your throat but the numbness had spread too far now. “I love you. Every part of you, baby. I just— I just wanted to hear your s—sweet voice one last t-time. Okay? I love you…”

The last word died on your tongue. And the darkness had taken over before you could hear Marc’s broken response.

A strangled yell left Marc’s lips. His stomach was knotted. The shadow of Khonshu appeared in his peripheral vision.

But Marc was rooted in his own grief. His lips were quivering, snot mixing with salty tears as he bared his teeth, shaking from the pure emotion of it all.

Why wasn’t he home? He had vowed to protect you, shield you from the horrors of the world— his world— but it wasn’t enough.

He couldn’t be there all the time, and you’d always reassured him that it’d be okay. That you didn’t feel like you constantly had to look over your shoulder, you didn’t want Marc or Steven to spend every second of their life protecting yours.

It’s his fault. God, the thought made him choke. Hands flying up to grasp at his throat as if he could stop it from tightening. It’s all his fault.

Maybe—maybe it’s not too late. Maybe, just maybe, you’re alive.

He could still feel Khonshu’s presence over his shoulder. “Take me to her.”

It’s silent. The wind breezing past his ears, the serenity of the night sky brazenly mocking his wild panic.

“Now, Khonshu!” He spun around quickly, voice wavering in rage.

If it hadn’t been for the God’s power over him, Marc would’ve been with you. The only person who truly matters to him in this world.

By some beautiful twist of fate, Khonshu unexpectedly relents, nodding his giant head in the direction of a portal.

Marc couldn’t find it in himself to thank him, everything else had faded away until all he saw was your mangled body on the other side of it.

His feet took him across the rooftop at an immeasurable feet, practically flying over the distance, until his surroundings had changed completely.

“No,” he cried, dropping to his knees painfully. Shards of glass pierced his skin as if he weren’t already bleeding out with you. “Baby? Baby, wake up. Wake up!”

Your body was lifeless in his arms, and the embrace felt strange, nothing like how you’d lay in his arms at night. Fingers gripping his necklace loosely, head tucked into the crook of his neck… legs tangled with his as if your bodies were one.

Blood left a trail from your nose to your chin and shaky hands went to wipe it away before pausing in midair to hover over your face…

“Love?”

Bewildered, Steven nearly gave himself whiplash as he snapped his head away from the sight of your bloodied body.

And despite wanting to run away, his hands tightened around your frame, his lungs failing.

Everything burned, his chest, his stomach. God, his arms and legs were going numb.

And where Marc couldn’t go, Steven went.

Denial.

“Love, come on,” his head has turned to you again but his eyes were squeezed shut. “Wake up. The gag has gone long enough.”

No response. Your laughter wasn’t shaking your frame, your voice wasn’t reassuring him that it’d all been a silly, cruel joke.

“Lovie…” he knew how much you hated the name and despite it, absolutely nothing.

Weren’t you going to argue? Playfully punch him in the shoulder as you giggled at him to never call you that again. Weren’t you going to put on that half-assed angry frown that you always did before smiling and pulling him to your lips?

Weren’t you going to kiss him and tell him everything would be alright?

His heart dropped with the realization that you already had.

You already spoken those words sweetly and he’d dismissed them, twisted them into something rageful when all he should’ve done was pulled you into his arms and never let you go.

“Steven,” you tried, grabbing onto his hands with an unusual hint of desperation. Almost as if you knew something he didn’t. “Sweetheart, it’s going to be okay. Everything is going to be alright.”

The sincerity in your eyes practically sparkled or maybe that was just the pure love that you felt for him. But it didn’t get through to him this time, instead his panic and anxiety twisting his words and actions into something else.

“How can you say that?” Steven stressed. “How can you be so positive all time?! Consider the possibility that maybe sometimes you’re just wrong!”

His soul shattered when he realized… it was the last time he’d ever hear those words.

He hadn’t believed in them and now this happened.

Steven forced his eyes to open slowly.

In the pale moonlight, your face was still as beautiful as the first time he ever saw you.

It was early in the morning; the sun was barely over the horizon and the streets of London were not all too busy for this hour. 

Thankfully for Marc, the little coffee house that was nestled in the array of buildings on Russell Street was practically empty. Save for the steady stream of customers who would fly in and out with a streaming cup of coffee or tea in their hands.

But tucked in the corner of the large window seat was you. 

Exactly as he’d seen you in his numerous hours of laborious research. Hair tucked behind your ears, oversized round glasses slipping off the tip of your nose, lips tucked in concentration, a loose sweater hanging off your shoulders. 

There was a sense of tranquility about you. A stillness despite the bustling customers mere feet from you. 

A girl immersed in her own world; a utopia all within the threads of your pale green sweater, the gentle sway of your feet under the table, the hint of a smile at the corner of your lips.

How odd it was to find such astounding beauty in someone you knew everything and nothing about. 

Because in your little world, you may have been closed off from the reality around you, but an open book to anyone who cared to look. 

And Marc couldn’t see why anyone wouldn’t.

He just hated that he had to be the one to shatter your universe.

“Excuse me,” Marc said when he finally worked up the courage to enter the shop. “Do you mind if I sit here?”

Then you looked up at him and he knew it was a sight he’d remember for the rest of his life, an image that would flash behind his eyelids whenever he closed his eyes.

Your eyes piercingly studied his through your eyelashes for a long moment. The hint of a smile was gone. 

“Sure,” you eventually smiled brightly. 

A dazzling smile that kept him rooted to the spot a little longer than necessary. 

Thankfully, you didn’t seem to mind it. “You’re American?”

Marc finally sat down next to you, gripping his chocolate muffin tightly. “Actually, I’m from Chicago.”

If your chuckle was charming, he couldn’t imagine your laugh. 

“Which is in America, if I recall correctly.”

“You do, it is... in America.” God he needed to work on his social skills. He felt like a bug under a microscope. Partly because of your particular line of work, mostly because you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever laid eyes on. 

You shut your book softly. “What brings you to London?”

Marc was sure you would’ve shut him down by now, questioned his intentions or tried to put his ass down. But you were graceful, serene... Seemingly not worried at all about his intentions.

If he’d asked, you would’ve told him that you had a keen eye for vibrant souls. His being one of the brightest you’d stumbled upon. 

“Uh, work,” he replied unconvincingly. “What about you? You’re a fellow American yourself, aren’t you?”

“What gave it away?” You were teasing him.

Maybe he could hear that laugh again after all. “Your accent and the whole sweater thing you’ve got going on? Practically screams California.”

Your laugh was surprisingly booming, genuine. He found himself smiling at the sound of it.

It can’t be this easy to fall in love with someone you just met. 

“It’s New York actually,” you corrected between fading giggles. “Close enough.”

Embarrassment tinted his ears red. “It’s not.”

Smiling widely, you shook your head in agreement. “It’s really not.”

It’s silent for a few moments and just when Marc thinks you’re going to open your book again, you speak softer than before. 

“I’m assuming you sat in my little corner for a reason, Mr. Spector.”

The gravity of your simple statement uncharacteristically flew past his head. Instead, he was a little more focused on trying to hear that twinkling laugh again. 

“What’re you doing?” You rose an eyebrow, watching as the man wildly looked around the space you were occupying. From the two adjoining walls to the wooden round table. 

“Looking for any indication that this is in fact entirely your corner. So far I see nothing except...” There was no way he wasn’t making a fool out of himself but he was in too deep to stop--

The pin suddenly dropped.  

“I didn’t tell you my name.”

A nonchalant expression adorned your face. “People like you don’t seek people like me unless they need something.”

His brain short-circuits. 

“People like me...” Marc repeated, his voice lifting slightly as if almost in question. 

“I’m aware of every single entity within my range whom fit the qualifications of a very secure database. Yelena Belova, Alexei Shostakov, Spider-Man who happens to be around on a school trip...” you listed idly, twirling the little stick that was stained with your hazelnut coffee. “... Marc Spector.”

The rose-colored glasses were slowly slipping off. His years of servitude under Khonshu’s hand began to harden his exterior until he could finally look at you as a threat. Just to be sure. 

“Why would I be on that list?”

You motioned toward the untouched muffin. “Are you gonna eat that?”

“Why would I be on that list?” His jaw clenched.

“Well, why wouldn’t you?” You take a sip. “Moon Knight is an incredibly promising prospect in the eyes of those who protect our world. You’re incredibly powerful.”

Marc scoffed. Is that what he was to you? A potential business deal, a recruit?

“But it doesn’t really matter to me anyway.”

His eyes shot up in interest. The corner of your lips had turned up again.

“I don’t work for any agency anymore,” you explained. “I’m just a girl with an incredible skill set and impressive resume.”

“Humble much?”

There was a knowing twinkle in your eye. “Only when I need to be.” 

Your stares met with a shared interest. As if you two were really seeing each other for the first time. 

To Marc, your beauty was astounding, ethereal. He could only hope that you’d choose to stay in his life.

“I did come for a reason... I have a mission and I could use someone with your specific skill set.”

“You need help.”

“Well, I didn’t say that exactly--”

“It’s what you meant,” you narrowed your eyes playfully. “Thankfully, I’m a woman of the people. But why should I help you?”

“I’m backed into a corner. I’m just trying to do things right in the best way I can. But I need you to trust me.”

“Trust is gained, Spector.”

“Then allow me to earn it.” The mercenary countered.

You allowed your eyes to look over him. At his open grey button up, his ironed white shirt and black pants. His ebony hair, brushed away from his face, sprinkled with a hint of grey. The scruff on his jaw and the brown of his eyes. 

Falling in love with someone you just met can’t be this easy.

Your resolve crumbled and you knew he was going to be in your life for the unforeseeable future. The fluttering in your abdomen pulled you in before you could stop it. 

Not that you wanted to. 

“So what does this mission entail?”

Slowly, a genuine smile curved Marc Spector’s lips, one that you reciprocated with a blinding beauty that made his heart nearly stop.

And as he walked out of the coffee shop that morning, your number scribbled on a note that was neatly folded in his pocket, there was a sudden change... brief but enough for Steven Grant to suddenly find himself on Russell Street. Confused and a bit frightened, but only for a quick moment-- 

Until he turned his head and gazed into the large coffeehouse window...

To see you for the first time, with eyes that had adoringly gazed upon yours for hours. 

And the sight was like a breath of fresh air, filling his lungs with something he didn’t quite know he needed. 

The close-lipped smile that spread from cheek to cheek behind the fist of your closed hand, idle strands of hair that fell to cover your joyous expression, the simple rise and fall of your chest...

And between the moment that he saw you and Marc reemerged to front, Steven Grant couldn’t help but wonder who had made your eyes light up in that way. 

Steven Grant wondered if he had the chance, could he make you happy?

But he couldn’t see the light in your eyes anymore. Eyelids rested over those effervescent eyes and a part of him finally shattered. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered brokenly. Bringing your forehead close to his, his lips tenderly touched your warm skin. “I’m so sorry, love. I’m sorry.”

Softly, as if to not disturb you, he reached for your hand, catching a glimpse of the fading paint job he’d done on your nails before he left last week. 

“I-I-I can’t, I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He couldn’t breathe anymore, gasping against your body as he tightened his embrace. 

Acceptance. 

With a shudder, Marc kept his eyes closed despite the sudden switch. 

This way he could imagine that you weren’t dead, you weren’t cold and lifeless. No, you were alive. Finally squeezing in a nap between your tireless research, hours upon hours at the computer, hacking databases and trying everything you could to help the boys. 

Yes, yes, he could take a moment to indulge in that fantasy. 

Because once he opened his eyes, it was finally over. Marc Spector would have to live without you. 

“How wasteful...”

That pent-up anger reared its ugly head. “What?”

If he wasn’t holding onto you, Marc would’ve committed violence against the god. 

“To let such a valuable asset go would be a pitiful waste,” Khonshu drawled from behind his avatar. 

Marc shook his head at the audacity. “I don’t want to hear this. I--I don’t want to hear this.”

“Perhaps you do, Spector,” the god insinuated. “Feel the warmth of her skin... look at the color beneath her skin...”

This was cruel. “No...”

“Your grief may be premature--” what? “-- her fate lies in no one’s hands but her own.”

He finally looked up. “Stop with the riddles. What the hell are you talking about?”

“Just as I once appeared before you, the goddess Isis requires an avatar. Your lover is still in the fight between life and death.”

Deception was a skill Marc was certain Khonshu had mastered but yet, he found nothing but the truth in his tone. He felt the god’s sincerity. 

Shock stilled his body, mouth slightly open as he stared into the night sky and then slowly back at you.

Despite his aversion to serving a god, the only thought running through his mind was the desire for you to come back to him.

In any way, he’d have you. 

Otherwise, neither he nor Steven would make it. 

“This is up to you, baby,” Marc whispered into your hair. “But fight. Please... fight. Come back to me.”

Please.

Come back to me.

The voice bounced off the walls of the chamber, echoing until it faded away.

It was the voice that would always bring you back. 

“You have a choice to make,” a different voice reminded you, sweet and smooth. “Be my apprentice and help me restore the world to what it once was.”

You were on the tip of the iceberg, held back from what you’d seen Marc and Steven deal with for years but itching to get back to the broken man that was begging for you. 

“What does that even mean?” You groaned. 

Isis gave you no further explanation than what she’d told you before. You glared at her for another moment before feeling a phantom pain shoot across your body. Well, metaphysical body.

You realized you’re running out of time.

“So I do this or what? Die? I love how you all deal in absolutes,” your snark was still intact. “Any room for negotiation?”

The Goddess of Magic and Fertility towered over you, mighty with large wings that spanned the length of the golden chamber. Eyes that pierced into your soul, quite literally, and a beauty that wasn’t made to be seen by mortal eyes.

It was easy to tell why. Such beauty was captivating, breath-stealing and enough to send any man or woman to their knees.

But yet here you stood, slightly annoyed and about three feet under. 

Unamused, Isis blinked expectantly. 

Please... Air caught in your throat. Baby...

The decision suddenly wasn’t hard at all. 

And it seemed as if Isis knew it as well. 

“Will you be my apprentice and help me restore the world to what it once was?” She repeated.

The other half of your soul was missing and you knew how to soothe the agonizing pain for the both of you…

“Yes.”

[j2hoes]

Hopes And Fears Part Three. (Wally Clark x Reader)

Summary: Y/N’s death is traumatic. So traumatic in fact, she can’t even look at Wally without reliving what happened to her.

Word Count: 2.4k

Gif Not Mine. Requests Are Open!

Warnings: Mature Language

I’ve grown fond of the early mornings whilst stuck at Split River. The first glimpse of the sun shining over the gardens, a warm hue welcoming the day. With no students roaming the halls, all I hear is the quiet sounds of nature. On the odd occasion, I’m even able to spot a rabbit or deer, grazing gently on the acres of freshly trimmed fields surrounding the school buildings.

It’s become a habit of mine, each morning I find myself lounging besides the flowerbeds. Allowing myself to feel each blade of grass that delicately brushes my skin. For a while, I forget that I’m no longer alive. I can simply exist.

It’s not uncommon for Wally to join me. Sprawled on his back, gazing up at the clouds. Pointing out different shapes and imagining different backstories for all of the cloud animals he sees. Besides that, neither of us speak much. Only enjoying one another’s company as we relax in the morning light.

Spending this time has given me the opportunity to process everything. Wally helps me to work through my emotions and thoughts. Nothing ever being too much for him to listen to, though I’m still afraid to divulge everything. I’m sure he can sense that I’m holding back, yet he doesn’t pry. Content to just listen. In all honestly, I truly believe that these moments with Wally have helped me more so than Mr Martin’s support group has. Despite attending every session since my memorial, I consistently leave the group feeling unfulfilled. Unsatisfied. In fact, it doesn’t seem as though the teacher wants us to discuss the past, our lives and our deaths. Only wanting us to focus on the present, the state we are confined to. I find myself struggling with this a lot.

“What do you think you would be doing if you hadn’t died?”

Pushing myself up on my elbows, I look over to Wally, who is resting on his stomach, absentmindedly plucking grass from the ground.

“I was supposed to go to college, play football. Hopefully make it pro, that’s what the plan was anyway.” He tells me, full of confidence yet his tone of voice suggests that’s not the pathway he would’ve chosen for himself.

“What about like outside of a job though?” I pry, the boy has my curiosity heightened. “Like, surely you have other things that you wanted to do?”

His eyes focus in on the pieces of grass that he’s now twisting together in a makeshift sort of chain. Deep in thought, I can see the cogs working in his brain as he tries to think of an answer for me. I’m sure it’s not something he’s necessarily thought of before, following the path that his mom set out for him upon birth.

“You’re gonna laugh, but I always wanted to get married and have a family. I know that times have changed and you lot don’t really believe in marriage and stuff that much anymore but I’m a family guy. Always have been.” He admits, finally looking at me and I see the honesty written across his face. “It just sucks that I’ll never actually get to experience it.”

My heart aches for him. One fatal accident and his entire future was stripped away. Never getting to experience the things he always dreamed of. It breaks heart, knowing what he could have had.

“Wally, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s no big deal, really, I’ve spent the last few decades accepting my fate and it’s not so bad here.” He tells me, a sadness shining in the brown of his eyes, trying his best to cover it up with a soft smile. “What about you? Other than taking over the world with your best friend, what was the plan?”

Giggling slightly as he references Abby’s speech, I start to wonder what my life would’ve looked like. Truthfully, I have no idea. My life revolved around dancing and cheer, other than that I have no clue as to who I am. Up until my death, I didn’t believe I was worthy of love, the one chance I took was with Spencer and look how that turned out.

“I suppose I wanted to leave Split River, Abby wanted to go to New York so I figured I would study there.” I reply, knowing New York was never my dream. I just couldn’t bare to part with her once high school ended. “It would be quite nice to live on a farm. Out in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by animals, I think that would’ve been my dream.”

“Now this makes sense.”

Crossing my legs underneath me to sit up properly, he’s unable to hide the bright smile on his face. Clearly finding some amusement in what I said.

“What makes sense?” I ask, to which he laughs quietly. Pulling a clump of grass out of the ground, I launch it in his direction. “Hey, you dickhead, I didn’t laugh at you, so you can’t laugh at me.”

“No, no. I’m not laughing at you.” Wally speaks through chuckles, rolling on to his back. “It just makes sense now why you like to sit out here.”

His arms are thrown across his face, shielding his eyes from the sun. I can’t help but stare as his muscles flex, admiring the sight in front of me. Following his body, I find myself biting the inside of my cheek as I notice his top has risen up his stomach ever so slightly. Highlighting the small trail of hair that dips below his shorts.

“Did you have a girlfriend?” I blurt out, before I even realise what I’m saying.

Slapping my hand across my mouth, embarrassment floods my body, eyes wide as Wally smiles. Eyebrows raised as he looks over to me. Sly smile making its way on to his face.

“No. No girlfriend. Why?”

“I was just wondering. I mean, star high school quarterback, you must have had girls queuing up for your attention.” I’m able to stop myself before I begin a long-winded rant. Helping to ease at least a tiny amount of my embarrassment.

Wally rolls his eyes at my comment. “Well in that case you must’ve had boys queuing up for your attention. What with being head cheerleader and all.”

“Ha ha. Okay, I know it was a stupid question.”

Fortunately for me, I’m saved from making a fool out of myself even more by the sounds of cars entering the parking lot. In unison, we both turn to face the sound. Observing the students that have started to filter into the building, chatting loudly amongst one another as they do so.

My vision locks in on Spencer and his gang of hooligans. They’re jumping all over one another without a care in the world as they make their way into the school. Trail of awestruck girls following behind in the hopes of garnering the smallest amount of attention from one of the jocks.

If only I was able to tell them what they’re really like. Perhaps they wouldn’t make the same mistake that I made. Perhaps I’d be able to save them from the same fate that I suffered.

“So I was thinking we could have a pool day. I think Charlie would be up for it, maybe not Rhonda, but it could be fun for us all just to chill out. You haven’t really spent much time with anyone else apart from in our sessions with Mr Martin.”

Wally’s words echo around my head though I’m not paying any attention. Despite, no longer being able to see the group that I was fixated on, I’m still closely watching the area that they had just previously been walking through.

Two weeks later and Spencer and his friends still evade justice. Police presence at the school has increased drastically with crime scene investigators cornering off the old toilet block. Maybe I’m impatient, but it feels like they’re getting away with it. Receiving no consequences for their heinous actions.

“Y/N, are you listening?”

Wally’s words finally drag me out of my thoughts and I meet his eyes. “Yeah, pool day, sounds good.”

“And we’re inviting Charlie and Rhonda.” He states, eyebrows raised as he knows I wasn’t truly paying attention to a word he said.

“Oh, no. They’re nice but can we just do it alone? I’m not sure I feel up to doing a whole group thing.”

Wally nods, though his eyes narrow. Sensing there’s something off with me. He’s good at noticing whenever my demeanour changes, or whenever something is bothering me. It’s part of his nature.

“Yeah of course. We should probably head to group first though.” The athlete pushes himself off the floor as he speaks, waiting for me to stand as well which I reluctantly do, not before releasing an annoyed groan. “You know, one of these days, you might actually enjoy the sessions.”

Rolling my eyes, I follow Wally towards the gym. He holds the doors open for me as we enter the building, his small act of chivalry makes me giddy. I make no effort to show this however, politely thanking the boy as I walk through.

“Ah here they are! Took you two long enough.” Charlie jokes as we enter the gym, taking our seats. I sit between Dawn and Rhonda with Wally seating himself between Charlie and Mr Martin.

“No guesses what they’ve been up to.” Rhonda comments, lollipop hanging out the side of her mouth as she does so.

“Thank you Rhonda.” Mr Martin chimes in, stopping the conversation from escalating any further. “So today, I figured we would get to know our newest member. Y/N you’ve been here for a couple of weeks now and we still don’t know too much about you.”

“I’m sure Wally could tell us all about her.” Rhonda remarks under her breath. So quiet, I almost don’t catch it.

“I’m sorry, is there something you want to say?” I snap, my tone harsh and confronting.

She laughs in response, the annoyance on my face evident as I glare at her. Her snarky and sarcastic nature hasn’t proven to be a problem for me, though I think that may be about to change.

“Y/N, tell us about your death. We’re all dying to know what happened. No pun intended.” The teacher interjects, attempting to diffuse the tense situation yet I still feel on edge.

“No thank you.”

“Oh come on Y/N, none of us are going to judge you. You know that.” Charlie tells me, offering me a reassuring smile.

“No, she’d rather just listen to all our trauma. Isn’t that right cherry pop?”

Rhonda’s words strike a chord within me. I’ll admit, the other ghosts have been very open about their deaths with me. All discussing in detail what happened to them to result in this fate. Sure, I haven’t divulged into the details of my death as of yet, but it’s for good reason. Not only am I still trying to process it myself but I don’t want them to look at me any differently nor do I want them to take pity on me when they learn the details.

“Do you have a problem with me or something Rhonda?” I ask, swinging around in my chair so that I can face her directly.

Upon doing so, I take note of how Charlie and Wally are quick to sit up straight. Feeling the anger radiating off me and awaiting any possible confrontation that may be about to occur.

“As a matter of fact, I do.” The girl retorts, crossing her arms over her chest before she continues speaking. “You waltz in here and make no effort with any of us besides Wally. Who, let’s not forget, you made to feel like a piece of shit on your first day after that unreasonable outburst. You listen to all of us recounting our deaths, the most traumatic things that could’ve happened to us and still none of us know what happened to you. It hardly seems fair.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry Rhonda. I’m sorry that i’m still processing what happened to me. I’m sorry that I’m not ready to discuss it with a group of strangers. I am so sorry that I’m not getting over everything as quick as you would like me to.”

My voice is raised as I speak, hurt that she would even think that my choice not to share what happened is a personal attack on the group. No matter how hurt I’m feeling, the anger completely outweighs it. Angry that she can’t see that I’m still struggling and angry that my murderers are still attending this school. Instead of being locked behind bars for the rest of their life, like they deserve to be. Nobody can understand what I am going through and that makes me so astonishingly angry.

“Boo hoo. You’re still processing, we’re all still processing. Not to mention the fact that we’ve barely seen Wally these past couple of weeks because he’s been trailing around after you, trying to make you feel less threatened by him. He’s even taken off that stupid football shirt that he loved so much! I hate to break it to you, but he was here first.” She argues, tears well in my eyes as she mentions Wally. I lock eyes with him and see his downcast expression. Was she right? Was he only spending this time with me to make me feel better and less scared? “You should do everybody a favour and fuck off back to the old toilet block where you came from.”

“Rhonda!” Charlie exclaims, clearly shocked by her words.

“Is that how you really feel Wally?” I ask hesitantly, the dejection evident in my voice.

He opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. Nodding slightly, I understand completely. Pushing myself out of the chair, nobody speaks as I make my exit from the room.

“Lovely chat.” Rhonda shouts, one last attempt to get a reaction from me. Even as I shove open the doors with an obnoxious slam, I don’t look back.

The entirety of my body feels heavy as I drag myself down the hallways. Nobody comes after me, not even Wally. I feel truly alone, hurt and confused. Death was supposed to be peaceful and yet here I am. Suffering more than I ever did when alive.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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[thesoftboiledegg]

"Unmortricken" was a lot. In fact, it might have been a little too much.

To start, I loved the glimpse of what exists outside the Central Finite Curve. The visuals were stunning and reminded me of M.C. Escher's drawings. The Jetson-like family was a nice touch--if anything can happen, who says they can't have different animation styles? All those colorful portals make me wonder what's lurking just out of sight.

It's also funny that the space outside the Curve is full of Rick's favorite thing: crystals. If he took a trip there, he'd come back with his pockets stuffed with gemstones.

Evil Morty's reappearance gave us a decent character study. Since he wasn't the antagonist, we saw him interact with the C-137s as a regular person. Morty's a little impressed, and Rick has a grudging respect for him. Others have called Evil Morty the Rickest Morty, and I agree: similar intelligence, similar technology and similar bloodthirst.

I was glad that he left in the end because that's what his character arc is about anyway. He doesn't want to be part of anyone else's story, not even another Morty's.

However, that's also part of the issue that I had with this episode. Seeing Evil Morty was great, but it was also a little...pointless? You could've had the same story without him. He's not working with Prime, and he has no ties to C-137 after "Rickmurai Jack," so it felt like the writers just said "Hey, you know what would be cool?"

I'm not against writers having fun and giving the audience what they want. "Spider-Man: No Way Home" (yeah, groan at me, Marvel haters) is fan service in blockbuster form, and it was one of the best theater experiences I've ever had.

Still, if Evil Morty came back, I think he should've had a separate episode. The episode juggled C-137 Rick, Morty, Evil Morty and Prime Rick pretty well, giving them satisfying interactions with each other, but no Evil Morty would've meant more relationship development for the C-137s.

Evil Morty's backstory also didn't reveal much about him. I mean--yeah, we all figured that he had an abusive Rick and got fed up. The fact that he had a "regular" Rick instead of a deranged lunatic does make a point about the banality of abuse. Monsters aren't always raving maniacs who torture people in their basements. Ordinary people can wear you down with a slow drip of toxicity and neglect.

I enjoyed this episode, and Evil Morty's return was exciting, but cramming the series' two biggest antagonists and storylines into twenty minutes was a little overwhelming. New plot developments kept showing up, too: Rick found Prime! Prime's various lairs! Omega device! I would've preferred a two-parter.

I'll admit that if you told me that we'd see Evil Morty and Rick Prime in the same shot, I never would have believed you, but here we are.

On that note, Prime's characterization was perfect. No attempt at a cutesy, sad backstory; he's a laughing monster until the end. And is it really the end? He has regeneration abilities, but C-137 acts like he's dead and even gives up the search. This leaves us with a few options:

C-137 killed him.

Prime fooled C-137 into thinking that he's dead when he isn't.

C-137's keeping him alive for later use.

Hopefully, this is more complicated than it looks because I'll be disappointed if this is the end of Prime. He's a brilliant reflection of C-137: the Rick he'd be without his tiny shred of humanity.

And Prime's a maniac, but he tells C-137 the truth. Rick broke into Prime's house. He pretended he belonged with this group of strangers. He latched on to Prime's grandson because he never had his own. His brutal, violent streak never went away no matter how long he tried to play house.

Prime says "Admit it! You would have been me!" In season three and parts of season four, Rick was close. His love for his family--love that he pretended he didn't have--and desire for their approval just barely pulled him back. But what kept that spark alive? How close was he to becoming a cold, unfeeling shell?

In the end, C-137's not satisfied after he destroys Prime--and weirdly, I'm not satisfied, either. Beating Prime to an unrecognizable pulp doesn't bring Rick's original family back. It doesn't erase the atrocities that Rick's committed. It doesn't make his grief go away. It doesn't change the fact that Rick teetered on the edge of turning into the monster that he despised.

What's more satisfying is that Rick didn't turn out like Prime. His Morty doesn't give two shits about Prime, but he loves him. He hugs him in relief (come on, Rick, hug him back already!), cries out "Rick? Rick!" and shakes his body when he thinks he's dead, and talks excitedly as they return home.

Rick's going to therapy, which Prime would have mocked. He went from having nobody to living with FIVE kids if you count Morty and Summer. Even he and his Jerry are pretty tight.

Rick knows this, but he still feels empty all the time. Vengeance doesn't work, drinking doesn't work...wouldn't it be easier if he just switched off his humanity and laughed at everything, even his own death?

But now that he knows how it feels to be loved, especially by his hypothetical grandson, I think he'll always find himself at the Smiths' doorstep.

[yuenthevoices]

Okay so I haven't seen Transformers One yet (just had midterms) but honestly from the bits i've seen of it - from movie clips on tiktok to some of the hilarious promo stuff they have Bee do - i'm ABSOLUTELY in love with it. some of my favorite stuff i've seen are the little, more niche details i don't see enough of that really show how much care has actually been put into the movie. don't worry, no spoilers for the actual movie - mostly about official promo clips and such.

for example, i saw a bit of an interview where it's said the animation team all grew up with transformers, and were even fighting to animate their favs. there was also another interview i saw where someone - i believe a story boarder/director - seemed genuinely pretty sad that they couldn't do the Megatron gladiator and Orion Pax archivist backstories because it would make the movie too long. like, there is just so much genuine love for the franchise that makes the movie so good and so interesting its crazy like ahduaogeuaisahe

alright alright so enough of my rant i know some of y'all are here for the x reader stuff soooo here's some TF One headcanons! also do keep in mind that this is from my very limited knowledge of the movie characters so prob oc? if they were to somehow meet humans

B-127 (Badassatron)

first off, he's such a silly guy and so adhd coded

but honestly, as a human, be just a bit careful around him, seeing as he accidentally knife-handed quite a few people, and some on purpose

he'd either be as clumsy as he is with his friends that he built, or would literally be too scared to get within touching distance of a human

if you want to get closer to him, honestly just listen to him - with some small input here and there to show you're listening - and he'd want to hang around you a lot more

really, just be nice, don't baby him, and let him yap as much as he wants - bonus points if you sometimes yap to him as well, i'm sure he'd be a great listening, with a lot of input from him, of course

Elita One

honestly, i wish i knew or could tell more about her, but any clips or trailers i've seen her in are pretty limited glimpses into her character

the trait i see the most from these glimpses however, is how she's ambitious and diligent

she'd probably respect you a great deal if you're as ambitious and diligent as she is, and would probably be a bit proud if you compliment her work ethic as well

i think she'd like someone who matches her, aiming for higher goals with the work and strength to prove it - especially since you're a human

bonus points if you can kick ass as well

D-16

similar case to Elita, except i think i have a bit more to go off of, considering how much he shows up in promo trailers and stuff

honestly, kinda hard for me to say?

again, i think he'd appreciate someone similar to him, considering how much time he spends with orion, it'd be a nice change of pace

someone who won't take bs, maybe a teeny bit of malicious compliance, and someone who doesn't try to hide their opinions

considering how mush shit miners seem to take from those who can transform, seeing someone else - especially some smaller, squisher being - being proactive and not taking shit, he'd probably be interested

Orion Pax

ok so only doing orion pax and not optimus prime because in total i've only seen like 3 clips of him as optimus soooo yea

i could see him with a jokester kind of person, but also with a more calm caretaker kind of person as well

being a jokester with him would be fun, and he'd probably have no problem with carrying you around to places for plans

being a calm caretaker would possibly be a little more stressful, but still fun with him nonetheless

either way, he'd still be somewhat careful, keeping in mind that he is much larger and sturdier than humans are

just don't play dead on him please, he'd genuinely freak out and run you over to D-16 and ask him what's wrong (D-16 probably won't find it nearly as funny lol)

[pumpkinstrawbrew]

.batcrow feat. the owl.

or a situation, which is stuck somewhere between existential threat an’ scuffle between barn animals.

...

(it’s one of those underdeveloped, raw-ish concepts that i indulge in just for funzies. it all started very simply. i was thinking about what kind of person might make bruce jealous. the topic was kinda challenging, considering that bruce in the comics *at least in the ones, i read* or even btas is rarely express this emotion if at all. in fact, at one point, he literally said to the woman, who he supposedly was in love with, that she should stay with the other man, who also liked her, bc he needed her more *he got disfigured an' such* an’ she was like ‘wtf is wrong with you. to paw me to the other man like that’, clearly outraged. but bruce didn’t seem to fully grasp what her issue was lol.

still, what if he somehow got jealous of another man, when it comes to crane, anyways? and who that man could possibly be? my first thought was superman, bc bruce generally can be kinda petty, when it comes to him. but clark is such a puppy-like character. he wouldn’t have been mean about it, or even be someone who could potentially like jon in such a manner. at worst, bruce might have got annoyed at crane *not clark*, if he said smth about superman’s strong arms in front of him. some jealousy there, but not quite what i was looking for, when pondering on that set up.

an' then, i recalled the owlman! i only know the version of him from the cartoon, an’ honestly after seeing glimpses of what they do with him in comics, i’d say this is the only owlman for me. from the crisis on 2 earths ‘toon. gotta admire a character, who is SO nihilistic an’ SO sure in his own worldview, that he literally does nothing an’ dies, just bc it doesn’t matter to him. he even smiles a bit, if i remember correctly. kinda both chillin’ an’ sad. the owlman had an ego, but he also just kinda….wanted everything to die an’ that’s it. he is what might have happened, if bruce went full blown doctor strangelove, after his parents death. which is funny, bc owlman isn’t bruce wayne at all, but he is the one who ‘takes’ his place in his own universe. i don’t remember if it was ever revealed in the cartoon, who the owlman was or if they left it ambiguous. i'm pretty sure, that they made him bruce’s brother in the comics, specifically. but i might be wrong, bc there was a few owlman in batman's ran, i think...?

either way, this version here is devoid of backstory. the main thing for him is that there was never a bruce wayne in his universe, an’ coincidently enough, no jonathan crane, either. as result, owlman knows nothing about scarecrow. he had analogs of other batman’s rogue gallery, who were either heroes or anti-heroes, but he never had professor of fear of his own. an' that’s part of the reason why he gets slightly curious about him. at the begining, it's very casual on his part. i guess, he might have wondered why it's those two *jon an' bruce* specifically, who never existed in his reality. everybody else, clearly did. so he looks a bit closer into it, still mostly for the sport. only to find out about strange relationships that crane has with the bat.

the owlman is an isolated kind of character. he doesn’t care for his own teammates. nor he's able to reciprocate their affection. i mean, he didn’t really react to the villain version of wonder woman kissing him. he was surprised, sure, but not hurrying to return the gesture or even seemingly knowing what to do about this situation. which led me to believe, that at least in the frames of that toon’s worldbuilding, he had no alt alfred or robin or anyone, who he was close with. kinda an opposite of batman, who does to a degree surrenders himself with people, even if he keeps them at *emotional* distance, more often than not. but the point is, that bruce still wants a connections an’ not devoid of hope to see the things sorta/kinda working up. in comparison, owlman is as nihilistic as a person can get, so it makes zero sense for him to have close ties with anyone. or even see it smth that he needs. but i imagine that witnessing how batman acts with his enemies, jon esp, be a very confusing experience for him. like, why pity such a person? why even show some small signs of kinship with him? an' what’s so different about this one, if anything at all? 

so after some more pondering, he approaches crane just to see for himself, if he is worth all that effort *sympathy* or not. an’ hey, scarecrow is kinda fun. reactive an’ jerky, an’ surprisingly aggressive for such a coward. owlman's usual enemies are the good guys. they're heroic an' noble. but jonathan isn’t that. not even close. his worldview is bitter an' twisted. whatever wrongs were done to him, didn't mold him into a hero like with any other owlman's enemy. the scarecrow is a villain to the boot an' it's...new. his use of fear is interesting too. none of his enemies had this gimmick. this makes the owlman wanna play around with him for a bit longer. or owlman experience unknown emotions for the first time in years an’ kinda not fully certain what to do about it, other than indulge in it. his end goal still the same. it won’t change for/or bc of anything, but he can have a small distraction, before the curtains call. it's not everyday, when he can find a person, who is kinda interesting to him, even if bc of pure novelity that he can hang out with a man, who had never existed in his own timeline.

then, he learns about the scarecrow’s life. how it went downhill or rather, how it was sorta doomed from the start almost. an’ oh. here it is. that’s what batman feels too, isn't it? that silver of kinship. the owlman never had this before. an’ it’s not a bad feeling, either. he was never able to relate to the others. it’s like ‘everything sucks so much. everything just sucks forever’ an’ he has found someone who understands the meaning of this sentiment, an' not just being an emo about life. at least, the owl would assume that jon understand it in the exact same way he does *but jon doesn’t lol* 

meanwhile, bruce is concerned. owlman is a very bad, bad kind of man to have around crane for many different reasons. one of which is that it doesn't sound like a hard thing to convince someone like crane, that destroying everything is the only 'right' way to go about things. jonathan's life is generally was an' still is awful, so why not end it all, but with a huge, literal bang?

it’s like a nihilistic doom an’ gloomy buddy club. sounds hella corky, but in reality, it’s dark stuff, actually. jon be beyond depressed in this case. him getting all buddy-buddy with people, who are more unhinged an’ dangerous than him isn’t a new thing. but in this case, it’s like an extra salt on batman’s open wound. the bat himself states in comics at least twice, how crane is one of those villains, who don’t just stay the same, but who progressively gets more an’ more insane an’ deranged each time he breaks out of arkham. him hanging out with the person, whose worldview is basically ‘it would have been so much better, if we all were dead’ an' who literally an' genunily means this, isn’t smth that is good for jonathan's *already declined* mental health. esp if owlman is also rather problematic in other ways too. not to meantion, that him dragging crane along is also kinda personal. in this way, he might be showing bruce, that no matter how much he wants his rogues to change or how much good will he shows them, they're all just human, therefore they're all hopeless an' bad. bc all humas are bad in owlman's understanding. it's like 'aw, you want to believe that this one isn't a lost cause? what if i will make him help me to murder everybody? still think he worthy of your delusions?' owlman might have an end goal, but he's also arrogant an' petty too.

on main, i have two rough-ish concepts for their uhhh, trio shippy thing. in PG-ish version, it’s just that owlman influencing jon in an awful ways, an’ since he kinda/sorta resembles batman, crane subconsciously rely on him, bc he's somewhat familiar. besides, the owl hints that his own life was bad too, an’ it’s like finally someone gets on the same level of despair as crane does. an' also, maybe...this what could have been, if the bat was a villain too. they could have been on the same team. so in a way, it's kinda more of jonathan playing into this weird fantasy of himself an' bad batman, than him fully understanding the real level of 'oof' that owlman tries to acomplish with 'the plan'.

*funny enough tho, where it really counts, jon isn’t like owlman. he, for one isn’t someone who would just give up. after every fail an’ each kick an’ shove, he still gets up. the thing about jonathan is that he wouldn’t just lie down an’ die no matter how much pain an' humilation an' despair, he felt. an’ he also wouldn’t *in the end* commit to the idea of murdering countless people just bc his life sucked. even if, it doesn’t mean, that he won’t go through motions an’ nearly, truly consider going along with it. he isn’t alright in the head, an’ his negative emotions tend to get the best of him. still, i feel like most versions of jonathan would in the end, decide that no, it's not what he wants or ready to take responsibility for.*

it all would resolve in comic book fashion, where jon would help the bat in the end, an’ not that other man, who had his allure an’ had almost seduced crane into doing one last evil act any human being in existence could have ever done. still, there always be longing on scarecrow’s part for this odd, wrong ‘batman’, even if he sticks with his own, regardless. 

*an’ yeah, the bat is kinda jealous throughout all of this lol. the world can be hanging by a thread, but no one said, that he cannot be a tad possessive, while he’s saving it *an’ crane* too. owlman will have fun with this knowledge, while it will go completely over jonathan’s head. mister ‘i can pin-point everyone’s fear from one conversation’ would have a really hard time understanding that batman’s beef with the owl not strictly hero vs villain thing*

then, in more mature version, it's kinda the same-ish plot, but owlman prob would do way more messed up things, which might put crane into a position, where he’s afraid to not comply, but also not actually willing to do it. an’ naturally, there bruce won’t be jealous, more so angry. really struggling with idea, if he should let just this one man *or an owl, whichever rings more true* die. an’ then, if this is a reflection of him, what kind of person, he really is. so it’s more of moral dilemma an’ a character study of a nihilistic sociopath, who just might have wanted to have a lil chew-toy, as he prepares his biggest scheme.

anyways, it’s not like an otp3 or anything. i’m a very bond/pair oriented fella. so when i’m dabbing into 3 way dynamics, it usually has more situational/reactive undertones. but i won't deny, that it’s fun to think about 'what if' or even about some situation in the void, where the bat an’ the owl double teame the crow. which in any plot-included or a somewhat coherent narrative just wouldn’t have happened bc of how all 3 of them function / react to things. it just not in their character to do it this...randomly. but if i will ever make a superhero pwp ficlet collection, i might try to do smth with this idea.)

[button-phobia-is-real]

thinking about rusty rose again and how sad i am Sonic Prime didnt go as far with her as they couldve

like holy SHIT an amy who got roboticized - to the point she could be overtaken and puppeteered by whoever got admin access - powered by a FLICKIE. in fact the ONLY new yoke robot we see not powered directly by the prism and then they never delve into her backstory!!

like come ON the TRAGEDY the PAIN is RIGHT THERE on a silver platter. her very existence is such a nice callback to her arcs in the games and YET-

like was she the first one brave (and rash) enough to go against the council and they made an example out of her? (either by showing off the robotization or having her completely disappear from the publics view) was she on deaths door due to an accident and they promised a second chance in exchange for her loyalty? did she beg to keep birdie alive by any means necessary? (kinda debunked by the finale but i thought that was a really cool theory going around)

not to mention how insanely OP she is in the first season and how she got nerfed for seemingly no reason (i couldve accepted her getting injured somehow). her first fight scene in the lab is such a delight to watch, with the way she absolutes decimates any foe in her way and utilizes her extendable limbs effortlessly in place of her usual hammer. showcasing how powerful she really is and the only things "holding her back" being her compassion and empathy

im not the biggest shadow fan but i wouldve killed to see them meet and him just completely break down at what she has become: so far from the kind and stubborn girl who reminded him of maria and helped him change his mind about destroying the world

i wouldve loved for rusty rose to get a glimpse of the original amy and see everything she couldve been and try to understand why sonic introduced her as the sweetest friend you could ever ask for despite viewing herself as a killing machine

as a whole i wish the show focused just a bit less on the action and more on the worlds and characters because there is so much cool shit there! (also black rose shouldve wielded a giant anchor instead of a sable i dont make the rules)

[theangelwithawand]

So, as much as I love charming, swaggering Han Solo, the guy is kind of awkward.

At first I thought it was an issue with his characterization in ROTJ where they made him a little too buffoonish for lack of a better word, and in Solo where they leaned a little bit too hard into Han being inexperienced and naive.

Don’t get me wrong, when it matters, the man is suave and dangerous and charismatic, and I love it.

But I was rewatching ANH the other day and I realized that at least when it comes to his personal relationships (except for Chewie) Han is kind of insecure and inept at forming meaningful relationships. To be fair, it makes sense given his backstory (in both Legends and Canon) and seedy profession. But legendary scoundrel Han is not at all slick when it comes to genuine interaction.

His initial introduction in the cantina as a ruthless survivor and his cocky dealings with Jabba tend to be the bulk of what people remember about his character, and for good reason. But there’s also captivating glimpses into a Han Solo who is more human than he probably wants anyone to see.

When Ben trains Luke, Han won’t stop insulting them both, but underneath all of the posturing, he does genuinely try to offer up real advice (that a good blaster is more reliable than an antiquated weapon). Then later, before abandoning Yavin, he doesn’t want to part on bad terms with Luke so, he chokes out a parting phrase that means something to Luke, tamping down his discomfort which is visible to the point that it’s kind of funny.

The first movie largely neglects his lack of social skills in regards to Leia (they do snap at each other, but that’s more to do with their clashing personalities than anything). He winks at her at the end, but Han is good at surface level flirting.

But then we get to Empire…strap in folks.

So, their first interaction takes place in the command center on Hoth, and Han is threatened to leave. And boy oh boy does Han really want/need Leia (and Leia in particular) to say she wants/needs him.

She has her own (very understandable) issues with opening up, so the closest she can get to admitting her own feelings is saying that the Alliance needs him. Leia may see herself as an extension of the Alliance, but that’s a different conversation and not enough for Han who needs to be sure of her feelings before making his own known. (Leia seems to have the same problem. They kinda suck at communicating sometimes.)

He asks her, very subtly pleads with her to open up, to reciprocate the bit of vulnerability he’s showing. She understandably doesn’t (again she has an unfathomable amount of her own trauma), cueing a fight at and Han goes back to the Falcon to be Totally-Not-Sad. Despite the fight though, he risks his life to make sure Leia gets out during the evacuation. (Gotta love how well he knows her.)

Then we get the big kiss scene. This time, Han has decided to acknowledge Leia’s insecurities because he wants to be with her. He specifically asks her “What are you afraid of?” Yeah, he’s kind of teasing her, but he knows Leia freakin Organa is not afraid of getting her hands dirty. It’s such a lame excuse, so he calls her out on it.

Then, all of the sudden, they’re finally together and Leia is just all in (see my post about Leia’s physically affectionate nature). And…Han adjusts. By the time they arrive on Bespin, he’s the one initiating hand holding, giving forehead kisses.

It’s a way more intimate than he would afford a casual hook-up. His scrapped intro in ANH (which was incorporated into the novelization by Alexandra Bracken), literally had him forget the name of the girl on his lap.

He’s still insecure when Lando starts flirting, but above all he’s in a relationship that is so casually affectionate. It’s a part of him we’ve never seen, but it suits him well.

Then we get to the big “I love you/ I know”.

In the original script, Han was supposed to say “I love you too.” Everyone thought it was a very out of character thing for him to say. The now iconic response was created during the shooting of that scene. I agree…to a point.

Now, I love the line. It’s iconic and great and very Han Solo. Yes it’s a smooth response…but it’s also…a really weird response…

Yeah, there’s a lot of people and to be fair, he just told Chewie to take care of Leia (which is very sweet), and once again probably still has some issues expressing vulnerability.

But…he also might die, so it’s weird that he wouldn’t tell her while he still can.

The pattern continues in ROTJ. Han is a bit out of character in this one, however I do like the moment where he’s referred to as a general. It’s usually read as him proving his commitment, and I agree. But I still think it’s funny that he decided to make it a surprise. It’s so cute and weird and very Han Solo.

He’s protective when Leia goes missing after the bike chase, and when they’re reunited picks her up and spins her adorably.

He’s still not super sure how to provide comfort all of the time (there’s a few times where Leia seeks his embrace, and he seems visibly unsure of what he’s doing). During the battle he’s always reaching out to shield her, hide her when she’s injured. Then he just holds her after the battle. The way she asked him to earlier, with a small but very genuine smile.

Finally, we arrive at “The Princess and the Scoundrel” where Han Solo does the GFFA equivalent of proposing on the first date. (For real, this book is one my favorite things. It canonized so many of my head canons like a very casual proposal). It’s perfect for its balance of being both weird and romantic.

Anyway, I like Han’s soft side and I don’t see it discussed enough.

[roseapov]

Children

Lyney x GN!Reader

Tw: slight mentions of obsession, manipulation, terroristic/military organization, use of children in an organisatioin, stalking, being forced into a job

Spoilers for Lyney Backstory and Fontaine Main Story Quest

Povtober 2023, Day 24 [Masterlist]

It's safe to say that when you two met for the first time, he got you all figured out. With his exceptionally perceiving eye and ability to read people like books, he immiediately had your character and intentions all figured out.

At first he hadn't had any interest in you, another person to charm, that's what he saw you as. But after his and Lynette's trial at the Opera House, when people became aware that he belonged with the Fatui, they turned their backs on him.

Going even as far as to treating the House of the Hearth with huge distrust and negativity, whereas before they treated them with such kindness. Ruining in the process childhoods of all the kids that had been raised there.

And this is when you came. All positive and trusting, full of magnetic energy, that brought these children to you.

You hated seeing how sad they looked, reminding you of all of the times you were sad as a kid, so you decided to play with them a little to cheer them up.

You weren't sure how good did you cheered them up, so just to be sure you bought all of them a slice of a popular cake and a drink of their chosing.

After a longer while of the absence of the children, Lyney got chosen to be the one to find them, as some got quite worried, but that doesn't mean that they showed that openly.

Lyney was one of those, who got worried about this longer absence, so he started searching for them immiediately.

He started off with just walking around the streets casually, trying to not raise any suspicion, to not destroy reputation of the orphanage even more.

These children, even if young, still could protect themselves, they were future Fatui soldiers in training after all. Luckily he didn't had to search for long and worry himself more and more over the passing time, when he finally found them.

He saw all of the kid's sitting together, with a stranger woman, you, eating and smiling together, making him smile on the inside. These children had been so sad lately, that is was truly refreshing to see them all smiley and happy again.

He quickly approached all of you, and could see how quickly you panicked and became all shy, while the children's smile dimmed. He painfully had to accept the last one, as he destroyed their beautiful moment, but mission was a mission.

You instantly stood up and apologized profusely about taking the kids for so long, being completely embarassed and a bit scared. Yes, you weren't loathing Fatui, but that didn't meant you weren't scared, The kids were one thing, but that magician...

None of your reactions however escaped Lyney, and to ease your nerves, he quickly assured you that nothing bad happened, you seemingly started to calm down, which lead him to continue.

He had to admit, that your kindness to the kids, made his smile soften to you. He was glad that the children met you and were happy with you, as they usually were a closed bunch, which with the Fatui wasn't surprising at all.

He taken you to the side, much to your unsettlement, and thanked you profusely, for bringing kids the happiness they've been lacking, giving you a rainbow rose in a magic trick. You were just so cute, that he couldn't hold back, he surely hoped that you knew flower language.

But if you didn't then.. That will add more to the surprise! After all you did captured his heart with your kindness so fastly, that if he hadn't slow down, he surely would overheat, and not thanks to his vision.

Little did you know, that he blushed a bit during the gesture, a thing yours eyes hadnt't caught, but someone else's did.. A person hidden in a shadow wanted to laugh at the familiar to her man, but decided against it, a beam of light caught sight glimpse of a cat's tail.

Soon after he departed together with the little ones, while you started to depart to your home, feeling watched, but how could that happen? Lyney just left and no one was here anymore..

Soon after you found yourself meeting Lyney in all kind of places, all the time... Which got you very concerned at the start, even more as it continued happening even more often...

That's when you found yourself working as a nanny for the House of the Hearth, having no relations with Fatui nor meeting any soldiers, and you thanked every higher being that existed for that blessing. You don't think you would be able to handle such meetings...

In fact, you didn't had to know that Lyney wanted to have you close, yet not wanting to risk you with the Fatui dirty buisness. The perfect argument was the fact that you were able to lift the moods of the children here, whose spirits had been brutally crushed.

This was a thing that really had you working at this place, but at least you're getting paid plenty, right? It's not like you would survive declining that offer.

At the very least you seem quite content with your new job, and Lyney has to thank Lynette for that. The time she spent watching you really payed off, now he knows your likes and can make your day, one day he's sure he'll be able to swipe you off your feet.

But he still owes her one, he truly hadn't expected that she sneaked after him, and spyed on you in secret. That was really impressive, he supposes, but this will also cost him a lot of dessertss...

[softdykellie]

ੈ✩‧₊˚ motion sickness part ii | ellie w.

previous part here | next part here soon

PAIRING: modern!ellie x fem!reader

SUMMARY: having grown up together, everyone knew eachother in jackson. when a brooding newcomer owner to a tattoo shop comes along apparently charming her friendly florist neighbor things seem to take a turn.

WARNING: alternative universe! purposefully all lower case. multiple part series. not a very eventful beginning as ellie’s relationship with reader is slow burn but it will start evolving after this one seriously trust me!

WORD COUNT: 632

ellie. you tasted her name on your tongue and melted into the feeling, flushed. dina had certainly manifested her wishes into fruition, you thought. stared at the girl for way too long, getting familiar with her features and vacant gaze towards the alcohol filled shelves against the main bar wall, freckles like starry war paint, eyebrow scar, pale green iris, peach pink lips, auburn hair gently brushing her shoulder at length. breathtaking, you immediately named the feeling, but she looked worn, tossed around. you blamed it on the bruised eye, caught onto sky grey vibes.

a silly game blossomed into your heart years ago, the inspiration for your flower shop really: how everyone you meet could be described by the floral language. dina thought hers too common, but it was your favorite, a daisy, standing for loyal love and “i’ll never tell”. jesse, a white jasmin, sweet love, amiability. even abby, coriander. you did not know the girl at all, but you saw red carnations grow behind her in the way spiritualists would claim to see auras. red carnations; “my heart aches”.

“flower shop girl, yes, that’d be me”

“cute” she mumbled sipping on the beer dina had given her before promptly pretending to be busy elsewhere though noticebly eavesdropping.

“you’ve got a lot of tattoos on you” jesse pointed matter of factly, earning a chuckle “perks of the job?”

“the job” ellie repeated his words in light humor as if minimizing her own career with the sound “yeah, i guess. you want one?”

“fuck, yeah! maybe a dragon up my back or or you know a snake, i don’t know, what do you usually draw?”

“pretty things” she answered before taking you off guard with a head movement that pointed you out amongst them all “like her” she twisted her body around to meet your face “what would you get, flower girl? roses?”

“the sun” you answered “what does that say about me?”

ellie smiled a weak smile, raising the sleeve of her grey t-shirt to expose a beaming sun by her bicep, detailed sad expression in black ink across its center. you took notice of everything. ferns and a moth grew from her hand to the very end of her forearm and covered scars you could only assume to have been self inflicted. a sword pierced through the spare space of skin next to a phoenix and finally angel wings alongside a well hidden initial: J. you wouldn’t ask, but you wanted to.

“trying to figure that out myself”

you hadn’t noticed when abby left, only that she was gone when a couple dollars slipped past you towards the ground from the countertops, extra tips for dina. you wanted her extroverted ways to carry the conversation, ask the newcomer about the altercation, but she seemed to enjoy playing dutiful dedicated owner more. small talk failed you, and ellie was uninterested.

you planned out your next meeting in your head, showing up with cookies as they do in the movies, catching glimpses of her sketches on the wall, giving them backstories to fill the gaps. it wasn’t so strange to be eager as you were taking into consideration how rare these opportunities had presented themselves: you never left jackson, not even on vacation. the world was meant to turn on its axis but you were destined to stay still, an agoraphobia rooted into your veins like movement would burst your chest open, bloody and broken. the flowers had been a therapist’s idea: to take care of something innocent as a purpose, exist outside the shell of a body you painfully cared for in pure obligation. your personal garden arsenal though, had meaning. yellow tulips, that’s what you were. the flower for unrequited love. the one tattooed by ellie’s hipbone you were yet to see.

[keys-hellscape-1020]

COD soulmate Au.

Just Imagine Ghost with a name somewhere on him. I’m thinking inner right wrist. It’s been a curse for him his whole life, he hates it. His dad and mom were soulmates (at least his dad told him they were). He’s so scared that when he meets his soulmate he’ll turn out like his dad.

He’s so scared of this outcome that he’s tried to burn the name off before, I imagine this is just after his backstory (the one from the comics). He’s in a horrible mental place, he has no one in his life. He’s scared. So in a moment of drunken sadness he grabs his lighter, grits his teeth and tries to burn it off.

It isn’t till the morning when he’s working off his hangover that he glimpses at the bubbling, blistered skin and sees that the name is still there.

————

Soap with a red string tied to his pinkie. Soap loves the idea of a soulmate when he’s young, he want’s nothing more then to meet them. When he was young he would give his Mama heart attacks, running around trying to follow his string to them.

When he joins the military he constantly gets distracted staring at it during steak-outs, day dreaming about them. It isn’t until he’s getting chewed out by his superior and she tells him that he’s gonna get himself killed if he doesn’t shape the fuck up that he pulls his head out of his ass.

You would think that this would make him dejected, but no if anything it invigorates him. The idea makes his sharper, more focused if anything. He can’t die before he meets his soulmate.

So he is so fucking excited when he’s on leave one night and sees the other end of his red string. He hovers briefly, not quite knowing what to do. When their head turns and looks directly at him though he knows he has to say something. He rushes up to them, not even realizing that they were trying to get away from him.

He grabs their shoulder, out of breath, and just whispers, “hi.”

His heart breaks when they bluntly tell him to leave them alone.

[gatesblue345]

Seofon rambles (Backstory Edition)

Thinking about Potential Seofon's backstory is fun to think about because Cygames is clearly hiding it for a reason because every other eternal we've gotten either enough of glimpse of their past to extrapolate about their life growing up or detailed examination in the case of someone like Seox.

Seofon is the one exception to that rule because his entire past in pretty shrouded in mystery the most amount of his past we get is from "And You" and all we learn is that Seofon is a bit of a cynic and a loner which just fits perfectly based off what we knew before

But his actual backstory is still veiled in mystery because Cygames probably wants to milk an event out of it sooner or later alongside Sietien't (I can never get his spelling right).

But as what his backstory could be I think Seofon is going to be someone like Eustace because their both loners who opened up to people after meeting some good friends. We just get to see Eustace's arc of that onscreen. Seofon already went that character development mostly.

And like Eustace his backstory is probably going to be sad and tragic and were Eustace lost one of his eyes as a result of his backstory as for Seofon it seems very likely that Seofon will gain access to the "Sea of Stars" as he originally called it as result of his tragic backstory.

As for my personal headcanon for what his tragic backstory is I feel like it's going to be along the lines of Seofon probably around the age 10-12 is living a relatively normal villiage life on some random Island.

Until everything goes wrong because Sieten't makes it a point in his fate episode that no matter the world Seofon always ends up grabbing the sword and the fact that Seofon can't imagine himself another future.

I think shows how fundamental the inciting incident of Seofon's life was that no matter he knows that he'll always be a fighter.

Which is why in my opinion Seofon tragic backstory is what leaves him an orphan with a name he no longer cares about I also feel Seofon had a mentor figure in his life could be family or a random stranger just somebody who inspired young Seofon to care more about swords and the finer points of sword play and why he likes collecting swords so much

But going back to my imagined backstory I feel like monster attack feels the most likely and young Seofon unable to properly defend himself against fearsome, but desperate to live to where his desperate earnest please allows him his first glimpse of the "Sea of Stars" and he goes blue for the first time kills the monster and promptly collapse waking to see his entire village and home in complete ruins with bodies of the dead surrounding him.

And from here you can honestly go anywhere, but genuinely I feel like no matter what Seofon's backstory is going to be sad and he is very much going to be an orphan.

After all if a person doesn't want to talk about their past it's because they got a good reason not to want to.

[kikizoshi]

Hello, Kizo! you've also mentioned some of the interesting aspects of Gogol's personality I haven't thought about before. Like his pessimism. He is so constantly and desperately wants to seem excited, amused, thrilled, that he's managed to fool me. But it makes sense. "The only salvation from emotions is mine or smn else's death". He is quite pessimistic, just like Dost. And he's a perfectionist. He wants an absolute perfect freedom and nothing in between. Why is he like this, maybe trauma?

Thanks for the interesting asks!

It's neat to me that Nikolai manages to fool you. What I love especially there is that, like you said, while putting on that act he's so energetic, vivacious, and drawn very enthusiastic and animated. But when he breaks character, there's a stillness to him. His shrill tone softens into a meditative tenor; his grand gesticulations withdraw into intimate gestures; his stretched mouth and squinted eyes relax into the visage of a quiet, thoughtful, introspective young man. Harukawa expresses all of this beautifully with their drawings, and I just love it so much. The glimpses we see of the Nikolai under his mask are what made me fall in love with him in the first place--it's what makes his character for me.

One thing I really love expressed in characters like Nikolai is the 'sad clown paradox', which I think fits him pretty well. It's the playful jester character who's internally cynical. Nikolai creates a persona of a spontaneous, silly, horrifically brutal psychopath, but the scant few glimpses we get of him, we see a thoughtful and caring person, so much more and so much opposite just under the surface. I absolutely adore that duality.

I'm not gonna talk about potential backstories for Nikolai; I feel like speculation there is kinda pointless for me, since it could be literally anything. But, I can talk about Gogol's influence on him a bit.

Regarding this:

"The only salvation from emotions is mine or smn else's death". He is quite pessimistic, just like Dost. And he's a perfectionist. He wants an absolute perfect freedom and nothing in between. Why is he like this, maybe trauma?

I see a lot of Gogol's influence here. I'm not sure how much you know about Gogol as a person, so sorry if this is reiterative, but it's important context (and please take my cliffs notes version with a teaspoon of salt; I'm by no means a Gogol scholar). Gogol, at the end of his life--though probably during too--was very concerned with the purity of his soul. Why isn't something I can really comment on, but it seems to have culminated in him going to a radical priest, who advised him to undertake an extreme fast (meant for monks, I believe). Gogol then burned his manuscript for the second part of 'Dead Souls', and starved himself to death over the course of about twelve days (whether or not he meant to die isn't agreed-upon as far as I can tell, but that he died as a result of this fast is). All to reach a purity of soul he felt he didn't have, and couldn't get without drastic actions.

I genuinely have no idea if this story inspired Nikolai's, but I wouldn't be surprised if it did. There are a lot of parallels, and if you replace Gogol's 'religious purity' with Nikolai's 'freedom', you get a similar tragedy. Both seem based on the belief "my mortal/inherent failures/limitations are holding me back from what I need". And rather than go inwards and seek clarity through introspection, both externalise their problems and try to "fix" themselves via grand--and painful--proofs of their "faith/conviction".

There's also the parallel with Gogol's priest and Fyodor, though I'm not sure how much it tracks. Fyodor does seem to have some influence on Nikolai, but it sounds like Nikolai was already on his path when they met... that's all backstory stuff though, so who knows.

Then there's still the missing piece of 'why', with Nikolai. Why does he feel he needs to free himself from his emotions? Gogol's motive makes sense several ways: fear of Hell, self-hatred, a deep, spiraling depression. It's understandable, it's human, it's relatable. But Nikolai's freedom?

That Asagiri chose 'freedom from emotions' to be Nikolai's pursuit isn't something I've ever managed to understand. I just don't get it. I can't connect it to anything. You hear about people wanting to be numb, sure, but Nikolai's wants seem more about being capable of doing anything, or proving that he can... And he said (paraphrasing) "in spite of happiness I choose free will," so at the very least Nikolai thinks he's capable of happiness, and it's just not as important to him as his "freedom."

Yeah, idk. There's definitely something interesting there, though, that Nikolai's Ability gives him the freedom to do pretty much whatever (as Atsushi said in Sunday Tragedy), but he's so wrapped up in his own mind that he either can't see the freedom he has, or physical freedom is ultimately meaningless to him--which would make him seeking freedom through external actions an interesting failure to understand himself.

Then again, I don't know how honest Nikolai's being with himself, honestly. His whole "freedom" thing is an ever-moving goalpost. First it was torture people to death and kill himself. Then it was kill his best friend. Then it got so convoluted I won't even try to summarise it. And now he just seems lost. Giving Asagiri the benefit of the doubt and assuming this is intentional characterisation (and not just giving him plot-convenient reasons to take certain actions), Nikolai seems at best very confused (and trying to appear like he very much isn't). And, well, I'm confused too.

So yeah, all that's very interesting. Not sure how much of it was intended. Hard to tell with a character that gets like one scene every two years. And hard to tell where he'll go, considering how rarely BSD characters stay true to who they were past their debut.

Regarding the pessimism thing: ironically, I'd say Fyodor's pessimism is more optimistic in nature than Nikolai's. Because Fyodor believes in a world that can change. Fyodor believes he can make the world a better place, and is doing everything he can to achieve that. Nikolai, however, in his best case scenario, proves that it's technically true that complete freedom exists. But his world is still comprised of people in cages. It's cynical and oppressive, and his grandest hopes don't come close to changing anything for the better. I think that fits mostly very well with some differences I've observed between Dostoyevsky and Gogol.

[star-dust-n-astral-wind]

Miraculous: Redemption and Validation

So, what makes Chloe (before the events of the Season 3 finale) and Felix all that different?

Both were born to wealth. Both were raised to be generally bad people. Both did bad things. Both strove to be better. Both are blond(e).

So why is Felix's abuse and trauma validated and redeemed, while Chloe's is dismissed? What is actually different about them?

Another character who functionally achieves "redemption and validation" is Gabriel. He goes on to whatever comes next to be with Emilie (if that wasn't her alongside Nathalie), and is remembered as a hero who gave his life to stop Monarch. But he tormented Paris for months, is directly responsible for the trauma of countless people, and even his decision to die (potentially) leaves Adrien as an orphan and conveniently lets him escape from the consequences of his actions.

Or how about Zoe? She's basically got half of Chloe's backstory due to the fact that they share a terrible mother. But she's "nice", so her experiences are validated.

Kagami? Also rich, also abused (albeit in a different way than Chloe is), also does some questionable stuff. But she's validated.

Marinette? There's an entire episode dedicated to validating her stalking tendencies!

Adrien? Vaguely validated, but the show often doesn't care enough to do more than a "he's sad because his dad sucks and his mom is dead" about it before moving on to something else.

The story does more to validate Jessica Keynes than it does to validate Chloe! And I bet half of the people reading this had to look up who that even is!

I think the culmination of this is Miraculous Paris, where we get some glimpses into a "reverse world", where Gabriel is a hero and ChatBug are the villains. What's weird is that while Shadybug and Claw Noir have their issues validated (which also turns them to the side of good), Shadynette turning issues and trauma is that she was tormented by Chloe.

This tells me two things.

Validating people's issues and trauma, and then helping them over come them is a way to help others become better people.

Chloe is apparently evil in every timeline, even the ones where we clearly see she was trying to be better.

It's almost like Chloe is unfairly singled out as being "irredeemable", even as the series preaches that understanding and validation can result in people overcoming their trauma, turning their lives around, and becoming some of your most trusted companions.

[panic-at-the-waffle-house]

Some Haikyuu Analysis because I’m hyper fixating on it again :/

I’ve seen a lot of people have debates over characterization of characters—literally all of them because they’re so complex and it’s impossible to narrow down two or three traits to one character and one only. As people, it’s easy for us to understand something that is labeled; labeled with one or two words. But characters/people don’t allow for that.

Maybe I just want to talk about my favorite boys.

Oikawa is presented to us as this “royal king” who’s the BEST. Kageyama, the most skilled person we were introduced to so far, is terrified of this boy. Like straight up, his sleeper agent eyes had some backstory. We meet Oikawa and he’s cocky, a little shit, and presenting his facade that he WANTS us to see. Later on in the series we can catch a glimpse into who he really is, what drives him, and see why he acts in such a way.

His mental breakdown is often memed on (I’m guilty of this) which is informant because it creates a building block for so many characters; Oikawa is not the only one.

We learn why Iwaizumi has such a strong loyalty to Oikawa. We see the parallels between Oikawa and Kageyama, the lines that connect Oikawa and Ushijima.

Oikawa is a perfectionist in the worst way possible. I can say this because I. Am. Just. Like. Him.

He sets a goal and will sacrifice whatever it is to accomplish that goal. But just reaching that goal will never be enough for him because there will always be another goal that is just out of his reach. Sure. He may defeat Kageyama and Ushijima, but there will always been someone else to surpass; another end line that keeps moving farther until he pushes himself past a limit that he believes is non-existent. Such a cycle is toxic and slowly wears down your mental health especially which is why Iwaizumi is so damn loyal to keep Oikawa on stable ground. But one person can only do so much.

It’s not like Oikawa doesn’t know this, he’s not oblivious to this cycle—he chooses to ignore it because if he accepts this fact then he will never be his version of perfect. I feel like he not only resents himself for his lack of skills and ability to do xyz, but because he knows he can’t stop and that his best friend is on a wild goose chase (that’s not true, but that’s another post)

Someone with this mentally will eventually crack and just collapse somehow. It’s happened to me and it happened to him—but it can always happen again.

Moving on :D

Sugawara is overlook a lot of the time mainly due to him not having the most play time and not being super stellar in volleyball compared to a lot of other people. But I think he’s stellar in general because he has traits that so many other players lack—empathy and positivity. His level of positivity not only helps him on the court, but others as well and works as motivation, think about the times he’s been subbed into the match. He’s personal with others which allows for a stronger bond and connection which then leads to a strong team overall because everyone knows this guy and can rely on him consistently.

Empathy is something a lot of athletes struggle with, but he has it and his empathy and understanding is part of the reason why Karasuno made it so far. Giving your all doesn’t always mean being the best or performing 100%, it can be giving your all in decision making (if that makes sense).

He gave his all when giving up his spot as the starting setter for Karasuno. He opened up a brand new door.

Suga hurts because of this decision, we know this because it’s staged in the show, but it’s a sacrifice that he made for others because he wanted them to succeed; he didn’t need to succeed. That’s what’s beautiful because at the end of the day, he’s still a teenage boy and that’s what makes him so human and lovable. He has every single right to mourn and be sad for something he gave up willingly, but instead of dwelling on it, he gives himself to the team because his team means more to him than anything else.

That’s tragic in my eyes because Sugawara deserves so much love. His actions are overlooked not just in the fandom, but by his own team members and that’s what breaks my heart. Seeing someone put everything and then having a pat on the back as thanks.

Shoutout to Daichi and Tanaka for checking in on him.

Both Oikawa and Sugawara give their all, just in different ways and for different reasons. We can’t boil Oikawa down to “perfectionist” and Sugawara down to “sacrifice” because that’s not what they are. It makes up part of their art, but it’s just a single stroke.

If you couldn’t tell, I could go on about these two for days and days until I develop hypertension by how worked up I get lol. I love these two because I see so much of myself in them and feel validated about my own insecurities. Oikawa, Sugawara, thanks you little bastards.