#it was so bizarre to be on a horse bigger than the bull

[kelpeigh]

Yes you could, but I am extra,, and s t r e t c h

I’ve been working with draft horses for a long time. While I don’t think I’ll ever go blind to their size (you have to stay conscious for safety’s sake, if nothing else), it’s been long enough that the novelty is mostly gone. I say mostly because every once in a while I have a moment where I’ll see a draft next to a normal size object and bust out in a complete giggle fit.

Yesterday I was getting ready to ride with a friend and had one such moment, seeing our steeds tied next to each other:

On the right we have Jet, 15hh (5’)*. This is a perfectly average horse height.

On the left is Rosie, 18.2hh (6’2”)*.

*for the non horsey folks: we measure height at the withers. That’s the point where the horse’s neck meets its back.

[thewidowsghost]

The Daughter of the Sea - Chapter 6

(Y/n)'s POV

Once I get over the fact that my brother's Latin teacher was half horse, we have a nice tour.

We pass by the volleyball pit. Several of the campers nudge each other. One points to the Minotaur horn Percy is carrying. Another says, "It's them."

Most of the campers are older than me. Their satyr friends are bigger than Grover, all of them trotting around in orange CAMP HALF-BLOOD t-shirts, with nothing else to cover their bare shaggy hindquarters. I'm not normally shy, but the way they are staring at me and Percy makes me uncomfortable. I feel as though they want us to do a flip or something.

I look back at the farmhouse. It's bigger than I'd realized - four stories tall, sky blue with white trim, like an upscale seaside resort. I'm checking out the brass eagle weather vane on top when something catches my eyes, a shadow in the uppermost window of the attic gable. Something had moved the curtain, just for a second, and I get a distinct impression that I'm being watched.

"What's up there?" I ask Chiron.

He looks to where I'm pointing and his smile fades, "Just the attic."

"Somebody lives there?" Percy asks.

"No," he says with finality. "Not a single living thing."

I get the feeling that he's being truthful, but I am also sure something had moved that curtain.

As we get closer, I realize how huge the forest is. It takes up at least a quarter of the valley, with trees so tall and thick, you could imagine nobody had been in there since the Native Americans.

Chiron says, "The woods are stocked if you care to try your luck, but go armed."

"Stocked with what?" Percy asks. "Armed with what?"

"You'll see. Capture the flag is Friday night. Do you have your own swords and shields?"

"My own - ?" Percy is cut off.

"No," Chiron interupts. "I don't suppose you do. I think a size five will do for you, Percy, and a size three for you, (Y/n). I'll visit the armory later."

Finally, Chiron shows us the cabins. There are twelve of them, nestled in the woods by the lake. They are arranged in a U, with two at the base and five in a row on each side. And they are, without a doubt the most bizarre number above the door.

Except for the fact that each has a large brass number above the door (odds on the left side, evens on the right), they lock absolutely nothing alike. Number Nine has smokestacks, like a tiny factory. Number Four has tomato vines on the walls and a roof made out of real grass. Seven seems to be made of solid gold, which gleams so much in the sunlight it was almost impossible to look at. They all face a commons area about the size of a soccer field, dotted with Greek statues, fountains, flower beds, and a couple of basketball hoops (which were more my speed).

In the center of the field is a huge stone-lined firepit. Even though it is a warm afternoon, the hearth smolders. A girl, maybe nine years old is tending the flames, poking the coals with a stick. I wave at the girl and she looks surprised, as though no one acknowledged her often, and waves back with a smile.

The pair of cabins at the head of the field, numbers one and two, look like his-and-hers mausoleums, big white marble boxes with heavy columns in front. Cabin One is the biggest and bulkiest of the twelve. Its polished bronze doors shimmer like a hologram, so that from different angles lightning bolts seem to streak across them. Cabin Two is more graceful somehow, with slimmer columns garlanded with pomegranates and flowers. The walls are covered with images of peacocks.

"Zeus and Hera?" Percy guesses.

"Correct," Chiron says.

"Their cabins look empty."

"Several of the cabins are. That's true. No one ever stays in one or two."

I stop in front of the first cabin on the left, cabin three.

It isn't high and mighty like Cabin One, but low and solid. The outer walls are of rough gray stone studded with pieces of seashells and coral as if the slabs had been hewn straight from the bottom of the ocean floor. I peek inside the open doorway and Chiron says, "Oh, I wouldn't do that!"

Before he can pull me back, I catch the salty scent of the interior, like the wind on the shore at Montauk. The interior walls glow like abalone. There are six empty bunks with silk sheets turned down, but there is no sign anyone had ever slept there. The place feels so sad and lonely, I am glad when Chiron puts his hand on my shoulder and says, "Come along, (Y/n)."

Most of the other cabins were crowded with campers.

Number five was bright red—a real nasty paint job as if the color had been splashed on with buckets and fists. The roof was lined with barbed wire. A stuffed wild boar's head hung over the doorway, and its eyes seemed to follow me. Inside I could see a bunch of mean-looking kids, both girls and boys, arm wrestling and arguing with each other while rock music blared. The loudest was a girl maybe thirteen or fourteen. She wore a size XXXL CAMP HALF-BLOOD T-shirt under a camouflage jacket. She zeroed in on Percy and gives him an evil sneer.

"Oh, look," Chiron says as we approach Cabin Eleven. "Annabeth is waiting for us."

The blond girl I'd met at the Big House is reading a book in front of the last cabin on the left, number eleven. When we reach her, she looks me over critically, like she was still thinking about how much I drool.

I try to see what she was reading, but I can't make out the title. Then I realize the title isn't even English. The letters look Greek to me. I mean, literally Greek. There are pictures of temples and statues and different kinds of columns, like those in an architecture book.

"Annabeth," Chiron says, "I have Masters' Archery class at noon. Would you take Percy and (Y/n) from here?"

"Yes, sir."

"Cabin Eleven," Chiron tells us, gesturing towards the doorway. "Make yourself at home."

Out of all the cabins, Eleven looks the most like a regular old summer camp cabin, with the emphasis on old. the threshold is worn down, the brown paint peeling. Over the doorway is a caduceus.

Inside, it is packed with people, both boys and girls, way more than the number of bunk beds. Sleeping bags are spread all over the floor. It looks like a gym where the Red Cross had set up an evacuation center.

Chiron doesn't go in. The door is too low for him. But when the campers see him, they all stand and bow respectfully.

"Well, then," Chiron says. "Good luck, Percy, (Y/n). I'll see the two of you at dinner."

He gallops away towards the archery range.

Percy's POV

We stand in the doorway, looking at the kids. They aren't bowing anymore. They are staring at us, sizing us up. I know this routine. I'd gone through it at enough schools.

"Well?" Annabeth prompts. "Go on."

So naturally, I trip coming in the door, and (Y/n) grabs my upper arm, straightening me up. There are some snickers from the campers, but none of them say anything.

Annabeth announces, "Percy and (Y/n) Jackson, meet Cabin Eleven."

"Regular or undetermined?" somebody asks.

I don't know what to say, but Annabeth says, "Undetermined."

Everyone groans.

A guy who is a little older than the rest comes forward. "Now, now, campers. That's what we're here for. Welcome, Percy, (Y/n). You can have those two spots on the floor, right over there."

The guy was about nineteen, and he looks pretty cool. He's tall and muscular, with short-cropped sandy hair and a friendly smile. He wears an orange tank top, cutoffs, sandals, and a leather necklace with five different colored clay beads. The only thing unsettling about his appearance is a thick white scar that runs from just beneath his right eye to his jaw, like an old knife slash.

"This is Luke," Annabeth says, and her voice sounds different somehow. I glance over and swear she's blushing, but after a moment she sees me looking, and her expression hardens again. "He's your counselor for now."

"For now?" (Y/n) asks, looking rather curious.

"You're undetermined," Luke explains. "They don't know what cabin to put you in, so you're here. Cabin eleven takes all newcomers, all visitors. Naturally, we would. Hermes, our patron, is the god of travelers."

I look around at the campers' faces, some sullen and suspicious, some grinning stupidly, some eyeing me as if they are waiting for a chance to pick my pockets.

"How long will I be here?" I ask.

"Good question," Luke replies. "Until you're determined."

"How long will that take?"

The campers all laugh and (Y/n) facepalms.

"Come on," Annabeth tells us. "I'll show you the volleyball court."

"We've already seen it."

"Come on."

Annabeth grabs my wrist and drags me outside. I can hear the kids of Cabin Eleven laughing behind me and (Y/n) waves good-bye shyly.

When we are a few feet away, Annabeth says, "Jackson, you have to do better than that?"

"What?"

She rolls her eyes and mumbles under her breath, "I can't believe I thought you two were the ones."

"What's your problem?" I'm getting angry now, (Y/n) watching us cautiously. "All I know is, we kill some bull guy -"

"Don't talk like that!" Annabeth tells me. "You know how many kids at this camp wish they'd had your chance?"

"To get killed?"

"To fight the Minotaur! What do you think we train for?"

I shake my head. "Look, if the thing we fought is really the Minotaur, the same one in the stories . . ."

"Yes."

"Then there's only one."

"Yes."

"And he died, like, a gajillion years ago, right? Theseus killed him in the labyrinth. So..."

"Monsters don't die, Percy. They can be killed. But they don't die."

"Oh, thanks. That clears it up."

"Percy," (Y/n) says calmly. "I think what Annabeth is saying, is that monsters eventually reform."

Annabeth nods and I think about Mrs. Dodds. "You mean if I killed one, accidentally, with a sword—"

"The Fur...I mean, your math teacher. That's right. She's still out there. You just made her very, very mad."

"How did you know about Mrs. Dodds?"

"You talk in your sleep," Annabeth answers and (Y/n) suppresses a laugh.

"You almost called her something. A Fury? They're Hades' torturers, right?"

Annabeth glances nervously at the ground as if she expects it to open up and swallow her. "You shouldn't call them by name, even here. We call them the Kindly Ones if we have to speak of them at all."

"Look, is there anything we can say without it thundering?" I sound whiny, even to myself, but right then I don't care. "Why do we have to stay in Cabin Eleven, anyway? Why is everybody so crowded together? There are plenty of empty bunks right over there."

I point to the first few cabins, and Annabeth turns pale. "You don't just choose a cabin, Percy. It depends on who your parents are. Or...your parent."

She stares at me, waiting for me to get it.

"Our mother is Sally Jackson," (Y/n) says softly. "She works at the candy store in Grand Central Station. At least, she used to."

"I'm sorry about your mom, (Y/n). But that's not what I mean. I'm talking about your other parent. Your dad."

"He's dead," I say simply. "We never knew him."

Annabeth sighs. Clearly, she'd had this conversation before with other kids. "Your father's not dead."

"How can you say that? You know him?"

"No, of course not."

"Then how can you say -"

"Because I know the two of you. You wouldn't be here if you weren't one of us."

"You don't know anything about us.

"No?" She raises an eyebrow. "I bet you moved around from school to school. I bet you were kicked out of a lot of them."

"How -"

"Diagnosed with dyslexia. Probably ADHD, too."

I try to swallow my embarrassment. "What does that have to do with anything?"

(Y/n)'s POV

"Taken together, it's almost a sure sign. The letters float off the page when you read, right? That's because your mind is hardwired for ancient Greek. And the ADHD—you're impulsive, can't sit still in the classroom. That's your battlefield reflexes. In a real fight, they'd keep you alive. As for the attention problems, that's because you see too much, Percy, not too little. Your senses are better than a regular mortal's. Of course, the teachers want you medicated. Most of them are monsters. They don't want you seeing them for what they are."

"You sound like...you went through the same thing?"

"Most of the kids here did. If you weren't like us, you couldn't have survived the Minotaur, much less the ambrosia and nectar."

"Ambrosia and nectar."

"The food and drink we were giving you to make you better. That stuff would've killed a normal kid. It would've turned your blood to fire and your bones to sand and you'd be dead. Face it. You're both half-bloods."

A half-blood.

I am reeling with so many questions I don't know where to start.

Then a husky voice yells, "Well! Two newbies!"

I look over. The big girl from the ugly red cabin is sauntering towards us. She has three other girls behind her, all big and ugly and mean-looking like her, all wearing camo jackets.

"Clarisse," Annabeth sighs. "Why don't you go polish your spear or something?"

"Sure, Miss Princess," the big girl says. "So I can run you through with it Friday night."

"Erre es korakas!" Annabeth says, which I somehow understand is Greek for 'Go to the crows!' though I have a feeling it was a worse curse than it sounds. "You don't stand a chance."

"We'll pulverize you," Clarisse says, but her eye twitches. Perhaps she isn't so sure she can follow through on ht threat. She turns towards me, then she looks at Percy. "Who are these's runts?"

"Percy and (Y/n) Jackson," Annabeth says, "meet Clarisse, Daughter of Aries."

Percy blinks. "Like . . . the war god?"

Clarisse sneers. "You got a problem with that?"

"No," Percy says, seemingly recovering his 'wits'. "It explains the bad smell."

Long story short, Percy made the toilets explode.

Yeah, I said it. He made the toilets explode . . .

Word Count: 2455 words

[titleknown]

Three Spooky Fictional Knockoff Toylines!

That’s right, as the big writing piece for this spooky time of year, it’s three spooky toylines ripping off bigger properties in a way that do not exist.

These are all public domain/CC0, free to use for whatever you see fit, though crediting me and linking to my Patreon or Ko-Fi would be nice. 

Shoutout to @genustoys, @phelous and @therobotmonster for heavily inspiring these with their work!

Now, LET US BEGIN!

Monsterlords of the Nether Realms- This line is an odd duck in that it was a knockoff of a toyline that wasn't all that popular. Namely, Inhumanoids.

It was seemingly designed to be cross-compatible with the large monsters of that line, yet in all irony it stuck around seemingly far longer, likely due to the lower price points it was was able to get away with due to being a “non-branded” product and the cross-compatibility of play pattern with the larger figures.

And they were shockingly lavish for what was seemingly a “low rent” property, which has lead to suspicions of it and its related properties being a money-laundering scheme, or at least cover for something unsavory, though others say it could simply be good craftsmanship and the evidence in favor of and against such is perhaps a story for another day.

There were five of them that ended up bumping around store shelves, give or take a few “extras,” which we will cover as they come.

The first piece; likely intended as the “mascot” due to its prescence in promotional artwork is the one known as MOLINTHA, or “ANTHILL EVIL” on certain variants, a large figure encased in a roughly mountain shaped “shell” when curled in a specific position; with an ominous “maw” that turned into a torso when the figure was uncurled.

The mountain pieces themselves (Which were free-standing on their own) provided a large amount of play value with platforms seemingly shaped for various 3&¾-inch figures, but the body itself was a gorgeous design, with the “scaffolding” where the mountain clicked on turning into a series of platforms for figures to climb and clamber over,

The articulation was low, but the sculpting was pleasantly gnarly, resembling some dark ancient castle covered in mystic carving given humanoid form, without an articulated head but instead a snarling “maw” in which figures could be placed inside. Though, there has been some speculation that this head was ripped off a similar design from the front of the classic D&D Dungeon Master's Guide, and I would be lying if I did not see the resemblance.

As expected, it did not come with any figures, but did come with a large assortment of commonly-circulated plastic “bugs” molded in a clear rubbery plastic; along with a few of the notorous “Chinasaurs” that ended up as the basis for D&D monsters bizarrely enough.

The second known most commonly as “LEVIATHOIN” was a piece that had a similar yet wildly different gimmick. The main “body” was actually simply an inanimate idol, which one might say resembles a very specific image of Baphomet, but the smaller figures were of real interest.

Four five-inch ones, bearing an odd resemblance to a scaled-down Molhilintta minus the scaffolding and with a few odd tweaks, with a similar simple articulation scheme, but also a feature in which the arms and legs could “click” together tightly, which leads to the real draw of such.

Each figure attached to a socket in the main “idol” and functioned as a crude combiner., forming a huge “creature”. Each figure could function as n arm or a leg on either side, and the color variants (Including a few alledged remolds of these torsoes) could be their own article in and of themselves.

The third known as MECHA-SHAG was an extremely simple design and yet also one of the most bizarre of them all. It was a hairy “core” akin to the Masters of the Universe Grizzlor, but with a strange robotic face; limbs and at least a dozen missile launchers. They were Micronauts-styled “safety” missiles, but still fascinatingly odd all the same. There is evidence for the pieces origin as a possible Shogun Warriors/Jumbo Machinder knockoff, but again that is a detail for another day.

The fourth one was known as RUCIBEDO, and was unusual even for this line. It was a stylized kaiju-esque “pterodactyl” with a flapping action; its oddly “bio-mechanical” look seemingly giving credence to the idea that the enigmatic company behind the linwas making a Shogun Warriors knockoff-series before they decided to switch gears, but those are not the only notable parts.

The most blatant one is the fact that it is sculpted in a bright red; translucnet plastic, and not only that but had electric lights wired to the flapping mechanism in some bizarrely spacious “alcoves” in the back (Possibly for aborted missile-firing features), creating an immensely striking effect. Albeit one that had a tendency to break; though there are repair guides out there.

And the fifth PLUCHUN is an odd duck, because it should by all accounts be considered kind of a “ripoff” due to using far less material for the same price point as the others, but is often the most fondly remembered.

It is a small torso seemingly made of organic “pipes with a “hatch” on the head and a button slightly below. It also came with a small container of “slime” indicating its function. Namely, put it in the back of the head; press the button repeatedly; and the slime drips out of the holes in the creature, with a pumping rubber “heart” completing the effect. Weirdly; while the rubber on most of these has rotted off, there appears to be a fully sculpted (Albeit much cruder) “heart” that still moved in and out when the button was pressed.

The whole thing was capped off by immensely long rubbery bendy-limbs in the same style as the “main body's” pipes. These tended to be very fragile, and while memorable, this has the fewest surviving specimens out of them all.

As said before, there are other specimens that may be covered at a later date; such as the odd hand-puppet and the bizarrely remolded Imperial Dinosaurs linked to the line and the smaller-range figures, but this is running a bit long, so I'll leave it here for now.

Nightmare Gores- Relating to the preponderance of He-Man knockoff figure lines in the 80s, and the popularity of slasher films, it was only a matter of time that the two would be combined, in ways only possible without mass-fundie-protest at least) in small lines like this.

In striking red-and-black packaging with crude art of a horde of ghoulish monsters rseemingly ripping out of the card back, with the bizarrely memorable phrase of “WE WILL KILL YOU” coming out of a word balloon, there's relatively few things like it.

It used a standard barbarian body whose origins predated the line; but from where they predated was a matter of debate (Though it is known that it most certainly was original to that company and not a He-Man or Galaxy Hole bootleg(), all the same across the line with differing headsculpts.

The headsculpts did have consistent names, and one could tell their inspirations relatively well. Joe was obviously a Freddy Kreuger without the hat, the hockey-masked Rod was obviously Jason Voorhees, Mike was very obviously a riff on Michael Jackson's Thriller Werecat (Corroborated with the usual non-caucasian color of his body sculpt) and Gross was blatantly the Toxic Avenger. Mush was a generalized “melting” face, but could be said to be taken from Cropsey of The Burning; and Hexen's gas mask was likely inspired by My Bloody Valentine's main antagonist; albeit with bizarrely added devil horns.

Then there are the oddballs. Clash is a fan-favorite alongsid Hexen due to his pure black-plastic body and strange hood in striking red with a black void for a front and two piercing red pupils, but I like Frank a lot if only for being a big ridiculous Frankenstein head repurposed for this, as was what I would call the “Baltard” of this line Stall-9 with his slighly crossed eyes and almost comical grin negating whatever intimidation factory they might have. Redd caps off the line with the strange combination of bull and horse head designs obviously repurposed from the barbarian toyline this comes from in a way that still sorta works.

Their pack in accessories vary across production, but there are some commonalities. Mike; Rod; Hexen and Clash almost always came with cool red vinyl “jackets” and Tedd and Frank almost always came with bizzarrely realistic handguns molded in bright orange. And Stal-9; Mush and Clash came with a “chainsaw: very clearly remolded from a gun.

The rest were a mushmash of machetes and hammers, and knives; axes and clubs that were clearly re-utilized from the original line. There are other “relatives” like the Killer Beasts and the Murder Lady, but we'll leave it here for now.

ShineFriendz- One of the many Tamagochi-come-latelies in the 90s, this line tried valiantly to differentiate itself from the usual Tamagochi clones by giving itself a backlite, far more extensive interaction within the limits of its mono-colored pixel art and a link function for “playtimes,” All in a model approximately the size of a modern day smartphone, and to be supported with early web tie-ins in lieu of an expensive animated series.

Of course, the fact that it was its parent company's first venture into such things; a battery company to be exact (Hence why they felt so secure in being battery-eaters), there was very little oversight into the programming. And, due to a series of circumstances too stupid to mention, the devices had  far more memory than they anticipated, and far more than they would need for the device's intended functions.

And, what happens when you have bored programmers and lots of time, you get easter eggs. Lots and lots of unsettling easter eggs. To the point where they took up approximately as much space as the “main” games.

So, they were immensely easy to run into during play, but they went unnoticed by corporate during the first three iterations of the pets. The most notorious of them was the possible evolution called only BREATHING which looked like an emaciated and decrepit eyeless version of the brand's canid mascot-species the Buroof that was continually doing what its name implied and had a legion of ominous quirks too long to list here.

Despite rumors, surprisingly none of the glitches involved causing death or injury to any of the pets. Though, that still didn't make them any less fucked up, with such examples as a “pet” known as BRILT that took the form of continual flame graphic that at times would flicker to the outline of another; random pet, to the weird “bird” known as CAUSE whose pleasure meter would go up if you hit the scold button,

There's a full list of “AnomalyFriendz” (the usual fan nickname0 that's too long to list here, but it wasn't limited to them, with such things as a “Game” that involved running from what looked like a crude pair of jaws to a “food” that looked like a wad with what was unmistakably eyes. And the web fiction didn't help, given how the actual text stories were dark , reading more like if Clive Barker wrote Watership Down with it just being barely within what was “appropriate” for kids, with increasingly less subtle allusions to the “AnomalyFriendz”

The minority of parental complaints weren't what got the execs notice however, it was actually the fans of the property, young girls who wrote in asking about those glitches. Not even in disapproving tones either, just asking whether they were intentional, or even asking if playground rumors (Or the rumors circulating across the website's own forums) were true.

This lead to them trying to integrate the macabre bits into the actual marketing for the toys, with the fourth iteration “FreakyFriendz,” with a cleverly altered shell with an ominously warped corner and more integration of the “anomalous” and “regular” Friends. And that is what sunk the line.

Because, parents actually noticed and; since this was the 90s; they bitched up a storm, leading to most of them being removed from shelves. Which is a shame, because enthusiasts say these were the best models yet.

The company left the business shortly thereafter, but there remains a small cult fandom to this day; complete with officially sanctioned web-iterations and even a few (sadly stillborn) attempts at full on revivals. But, maybe someday...

[bindingfenrir]

amazon Headquarters

If you're venturing to a part of the world with the most unique species of animals on the planet, you're, probably in for some interesting, finds, join us as we explore some of the most bizarre amazon discoveries Cayman to begin things. The apex predator of the Amazon River is a strange and terrifying creature, but by no means is it safe from other predators. In this intense jungle, the black caiman is essentially a gigantic alligator. These beasts can grow up to 20 feet long and they're much heavier than Nile crocodiles. Their diet consists of well everything, monkeys, piranhas, deer and even anaconda are all on the menu. These prehistoric predators are also partial to people, but not exactly in a good way. In 2010, a biologist that was cleaning a fish was attacked by a caiman living below her house, and while she was able to fend it off, it wouldn't leave empty-handed taking away one of her legs as a prize. Apparently, the brood had been under her houseboat for over eight months, just waiting, hungrily welcome to the Amazon, the green anaconda, with all of the biodiversity and incredible variations of flora and fauna in the Amazon. It'S not actually surprising to find that the largest snake in the world calls this place its home. The green anaconda is not strictly speaking, the longest snake in the world, but it is by far the heaviest females are generally larger than the males and they can reach up to 550 pounds growing over 30 feet in length. Also, the creature is just 12 inches in diameter, so while it isn't the longest, it's a pretty formidable snake. The good news is, however, that the green anaconda is not venomous. The bad news is, it can still pretty easily kill large prey like deer came in and even Jaguars anacondas will use their immense weight along with their strength in order to suffocate and crush their living meals. Now it may be hard to picture a 30-foot snake sneaking up on you, but they use stealth in order to hunt their prey. They are a Palma. Now, if you're worried about swimming in piranha infested waters, you want to reevaluate your list of fears with this next discovery. The ara Palma is a carnivorous fish that takes up just a little bit more space than a piranha. Does these behemoths can grow up to nine feet long weighing about 200 pounds? The ARA Palma is encased in what appears to be armor like plating, so it doesn't really have a whole lot of fear of anything in the river they mostly feast on fish and birds and are forced to float near the surface of the river to breathe air. As well as water now, if you weren't scared enough already, these fish are actually so intense and monstrous that even their tongue has teeth the giant otter. When you see a family of otters playing around in a river or even the ocean, often you may think. Oh, how cute this is at least partly because otters tend to be small. The Amazon, however, is home to the largest species of this marine mammal, the aptly titled giant otter. The name really says it. All males can grow up to six feet long and the adults of the species eat up to nine pounds of food every day. While this may still seem adorable. These animals actually hunt in packs and have been seen eating a giant anaconda and a five-foot caiman. So maybe less adorable and more vicious than you would imagine they are getting more rare, as human intervention threatens their way of life, but these capable hunters are still known to the locals as the river wolves, the Candiru, not everything, that's terrifying in the Amazon is giant, Though, admittedly, most creatures are the can do or tiny parasitic fish that work to latch themselves onto a larger fish's gills in order to feast on their blood, they use their sharp spines to hold themselves in place and the bigger fish can't get them off. This is all well and good, and may not seem like such a big deal, but there's more to the story than meets the eye. There is at least one documented case of a can darou launching itself up a man's urethra while he was urinating and the spiny fish got lodged in the tract at the time of emergency surgery. It was attempting to burrow into his testicles. It'S probably at this point that we should stress that this incident is very rare and it may stop you from using the Amazon River as a toilet, bull sharks. When you're spending all of your time worrying about the dangers of the Amazon, you may not get the full experience of the beauty along with the importance of the river, but you also might not be expecting a killer from the sea. Bull sharks actually live in the Amazon River. They can be found as far up the river as Peru, 2,500 miles away from the ocean. The bull shark special kidneys are able to alter the salinity of the surrounding water, which allows these unique predators to survive in fresh water. They also tend to reach about 11 feet in length and can weigh approximately 700 pounds. Not surprisingly, the tremendous fish are some of the more frequent attackers of humans and they tend to live near densely populated areas with its multiple rows of razor-sharp teeth and its proximity to towns and villages. The bull shark is considered one of the most dangerous sharks on the planet: electric eels, okay, so now you're getting concerned about being bitten and strangled and crushed, but another much less conventional thing to worry about with regards to the Amazonian wild is electrocution. That'S right! There are electric eels in the Amazon River and they pack a punch. These eels are relatives of the catfish family and can grow up to eight feet. Long they're, electric output has been measured to be about 600 volts and they generate this charge from specialized cells. The voltage is about five times the power of a typical electrical socket and can knock over a horse now, while 600 volts isn't usually enough to actually kill a full-grown. Human. Multiple shocks can quickly lead to respiratory failure along with heart attacks, also you're getting this kind of shock while inside of a River. Now it's not uncommon for people to be stunned after an eel attack and well just simply drown. Imagine just trying to swim in the Amazon after getting multiple shocks of 600 volts. There are a large number of disappearances in the region that have been attributed to eels, but whether they were attacking or just actually scared and surprised is actually unknown. The glass frog camouflage is a useful survival tactic for creatures that get fed upon, but sometimes in the Amazon. This technique leads to some interesting consequences. The glass frog is technically green, but if you were to see the specimen, that's probably not the first thing that you would believe the skin of the glass frog, as the name suggests, is entirely see-through. Looking at it from the underside, you can see all of the frogs internal organs working away, the heart pumping blood, the stomach digesting, and these strange creatures can grow up to 3 inches in length and have been known to eat their young. While this isn't actually unusual in frogs, the optics involved in this familial violence verges on something from an MC Escher painting the decoy building spider when threatened many creatures on the planet are likely to make themselves look big that way they can scare away their would-be predators. Cats will raise their backs, some lizards will flatten themselves. Even humans are told to look big when faced with bears it's a tried-and-true method and it's also somewhat related to the decoy building spider, but naturally it takes things just a little bit further. The recently discovered spider is thought to be of a species. That'S never before been seen and is actually only about 5 millimeters in length. However, it doesn't stop it from scaring off bigger, bugs the technique it uses to construct a giant spider shape out of dead, leaves and debris, makes the decoy complete with multiple legs and an abdomen. Thus, it seems like a gigantic spider is actually living in the web, but it's actually all just for show. The fascinating and brilliant work of nature is now being studied at research center, but very little is known of the tiny craftsman piranha, no matter where you go in the world, it's hard to beat the classic of bizarre discoveries. The red-bellied piranha is the original fear in the semi deep river and, despite all of the Hollywood hype, these little guys aren't exactly all as bad as they seem. When we say little, they do grow to be 12 inches long and hunted packs, but as for danger, they've got hilariously sharp teeth that interlock for maximum rending and tearing power. Usually, though, piranhas are actually just scavengers and they tend to eat things that are badly wounded or already dead, but what they do to their prey is the stuff of horror movies. A feeding frenzy of tens of these organic hacksaws will skeletonize their unfortunate food source in just a matter of minutes now. Attacks on humans do happen, but it's incredibly rare and usually linked to a provocation or starvation. The jesus lizard many creatures that are discovered in the amazon, walk and many live in the water, but very few do both at once. The affectionately, titled Jesus lizard is one of the more strange inhabitants of this wild Wonderland and it's truly a sight to behold. Also known as the common basilisk, the Jesus lizard is also named because it can literally walk on water. Well, it actually runs on water when escaping predators. The lizard splays its toes to reveal webbing, which, combined with its powerful legs, can allow the creature to run along the water surface. The Jesus lizard can do this for up to 60 feet. It'S a unique and powerful survival tactic, but it's actually a tiring exercise. After it's run, it's usually pretty far away from its foe and it sinks and swims at its leisure to another, less dangerous spot, the pink dolphin. At this point, you may be thinking that nothing else lives in the Amazon. That could be much of a surprise considering what was on our list to begin with. Well, as it turns out, the most habitant of the Amazon River would be unique and bizarre if it were to be found in the ocean where most of its relatives dwell found. In this river, it's an absolute marvel: the Amazon, River, dolphin or boat. Oh - can grow as large as an adult human, but the weirdest part of it is clearly the color the boat. Oh, is bright, pink and the present theory is the dolphin. Has blood capillaries near the surface of its skin, which gives it its hue? But nobody really knows for sure local legend, however, tells of these giant mysteries, transforming into attractive men and then luring unsuspecting women to the water's edge before stealing them away to the waters. Deep realms, while the legend probably doesn't have a whole lot, that's based! In truth, the pink dolphins of the Amazon are a supremely surprising and interesting species to come upon this January, 1st in Malibu California, when researchers from hrl laboratories achieved a breakthrough in ceramic 3d, printing technology, where they took 3d printing to a whole new level. And if you don't think that it's impressive, let me just tell you that ceramics are one of the hardest materials in the world, the 3d printers which can carry the molecular structure. Silicone made them close to perfect

[its-the-fifth-horseman]

Prologue - Part 1

6:03 AM,

Monday,

5th July 1897,

Quelptic Hill,

Doonesberry Town,

Maysteirn, Acordia Petra

“..There was no way to escape..I can hear them tailing on my heels, getting closer and closer with every step. Shouts and screams of anger and vindication echoes within these walls. There was only one place I can turn to..only one place to seek my final refuge..my final sanctuary..our sanctuary. As I finally closed the door behind me, their voices continues to reverberate. There was no way that the door will hold against the juggernaut that is the mob. I immediately went to the altar and turn the pages of the tome..my followers braced themselves for the worst..I've always hoped that it would not come to this..trust have always been my Achille’s Heel. The banging at the door was getting louder..the page was right in front of me. I read its passage, post haste, to my best of chanting the right words with the right flair..it shall not end like this. Splinters began to fall off from the door..it will not hold much longer. I have to finish the passage..[Groaning]..Curses!..The fiery pain was searing on my skin!..Eating me alive!..I have to keep reading!..I have to..”

“..and jus' like tha'...they suddenly vanished!..Jus' like tha'!”

“Hogwash...”

“I beg ya' pardon!”

“HOGWASH! ARSECRACK! HORSE DUNG! COW DUNG! YOUR SHIT-STAINED BACKSIDE!”

“Ya' kiss mum with tha' mouth? An’ ere’ I thought ya' a lady..[Laughing]”

“I am a lady, little brotha'..but only in tha’ presence of another man..you..little brotha'..are no man..”

“Ol' right, ol' right! Mock all ya' will! An’ it's a true story I tell ya!' Thas’ wha' exactly happened there!..”

“Ya' ge’ in all too worked up over some fairy tales..”

“Fairy tales? Have ya' been stickin' ya' head so deep into the underworld?”

“Don't talk back to me like tha', Sebastian! I'm still ya' olda’ sista'!”

Sebastian went silent for awhile. All that can be heard was the sound of the cart which was carrying buckets, brooms, mops, feather dusters and rags, creaking as they slowly made their way towards a black structure that was coming up ahead.

“Woah..” Sebastian was in awe at the sight of the old black mansion that still stood after half a century later.

“Don't open ya' mouth like tha'..flies will ge’ in an’ eat ya' bowel an’ guts.”

“Thas’ not true..”

“Sure it is..ya' believe in all them little fairy tales, right?”

They finally stopped in front of the steps towards the main entrance. Red octagonal shapes were engraved on the heavy double doors.

[Jingling sound]

Valerie then produced a large set of iron keys before heading towards one of the doors. Seconds later, a clicking sound echoed within the walls inside the mansion. Sebastian can barely contain his excitement.

“Don't ge’ all too excited now..ya' don't wanna ge' we’ inside ya' pants..” Her dry humor was almost inhuman.

Finally, she pushes the doors open. Dust and dingy smell immediately fill their nostrils.

[Coughing sound]

“Good heavens..” said Valerie as she was fanning the dust away from her face with her hand.

What they saw before them was definitely a sight to behold.

Grandmaster Lord Caligo's Mansion a.k.a The Black Mansion was located at Doonesberry Town, quite a distance from the nearest civilization where it had been hiding itself on top of Quelptic Hill. The Black Mansion was as mysterious as the man himself. In 1844, a man who calls himself Grandmaster Lord Caligo, arrived in the town one day and simply proceed to purchasing the piece of land on top of Quelptic Hill, in cold hard cash. No one really knows where he was from and the property was never for sale to begin with, but seeing the amount of money that he had to offer, the mayor was more than willing to overlook the policy and approved the purchasing of the public property. The hill had always been a popular spot for the residents to enjoy the scenery from the top of the hill while having a picnic or just a simple trek going up and about. All that changes the moment Grandmaster Lord Caligo bought the place all to himself. The resentment eventually grew bigger at the corruption of the local authorities for allowing the privatization of the public property. They eventually learned that Grandmaster Lord Caligo was more than just a rich outsider, much more than a man with a lavish mansion who had a thing for the darker shade of colors.

“Oi! Where are ya’ goin’ now!”

[Running footsteps sound]

Sebastian went running across the hall towards the twin staircases that would spiral next to each other at the end of the large hall. There was also a short staircase that led downstairs, between the other two staircases. Just about every material in the mansion was painted black or made of black materials including the glasses on the high windows that eerily filters the light of the day. There were tall black statues of bizarre looking figures, some with animal heads and holding weapons, standing on every corner of the ground floor. Sebastian went towards the one that looked like a monk wearing a robe with its head down and holding a staff in one hand, standing near one of the staircases. His sister finally caught up with him.

“Damn it, Sebastian! This isn't the Doonesberry Drive on a Sunday!” scolded Valerie while taking her breaths.

Sebastian took a closer look at the sculpted figure.

“Ave’ ya' eva’ seen anything so majestic?” asked Sebastian.

“An’ did ya' know tha’ this whole mansion was made of black marble? Imagine the amount of gold he must ave’!...An’ did ya' know why the last lord of the house sold this property?”

“No..lil’ brotha'..do pray tell..”

Sebastian chuckled for a moment.

“Oi sistha'..[Chuckling]..such ignorance!..It was said..tha’ his brotha’..which was the true lord of the house before he inherited it..gone missing, inside the house!..Jus' like tha'!..Like the wind!..”

His sister was still far from being impressed with his story.

“But..it was said tha’ he didn't jus’ went missing..he went missing in this house after enterin’ a room..the same fate that befell on the other lords after Grandmaster Lord Caligo...the lost room..” said Sebastian while trying to add an eerie tone to his tale. His sister maintained her blank stare.

“The very same room tha’ Grandmaster Lord Caligo disappeared into..it was said tha’ the room would appear and disappear on any walls of tha’ house..searching for its next victim..”

“Ya' done?”

“Wha’? Damned be to ya' funny bones! Ya’ ave’ no sense of a good tale!”

“Ya' mean tha’ yarn tha’ ya’ spun over an’ over again?”

Sebastian looked disappointed.

“Hey sistha', where did Lord Cali go? Huh? Savvy? [Laughing]”

Valerie can barely contain her emotions anymore.

“An’ did ya’...”

“Sebastian! We're not at some royal grand ball, exchanging tales of grandeur, cock an’ bull on top, sipping our wines an’ admiring stones an’ such! We're ere’ to clean!” Valerie then shoved the bucket containing the cleaning items as well as the mop at his brother.

“We ave’ 3 days!..3 days!..That's all we ave’!..Now go to the study room an’ start cleaning!”

Sebastian took them without much enthusiasm. His sister then took hers before heading towards the back of the mansion.

[Sighing sound]

Moments later, after filling up his bucket with water from the well and reaching the upper floor, he finds himself walking along a dark and short hallway right in the middle of the level. Another double door engraved with the same octagonal shape guards the entrance to its domain. He took his time walking slowly towards it before turning on one of the handles.

[Loud clicking sound]

[Creaking sound]

“By the stars and the moon..” whispered Sebastian.

The room before him was unlike any other room he had ever seen in his life. For starters, it had more than 4 walls, 8 of them to be precise. Sebastian slowly walked towards the center of the room while “spinning” around. It also had a low illumination from the windows high above the walls.

“What manner of a room is this?”

On top of every side of the room just below the windows, hangs a painting. He looks down. The floor was adorned with yet another octagonal shape that seems to “radiate” from the center of the room with its extending layers until it hits the walls surrounding it. Sebastian took a glance at all of the paintings. The imagery and scenery on the paintings were beyond his imagination and comprehension. All of them, however, share one thing in common. There will always be a dark figure looming somewhere behind. Aside from its semi-obscure silhouette, the most visible part of the figure was its shiny black hand with its forefinger fitted with an emerald ring. At least one of the drawings was that of a naked woman who was her on knees, almost as if she was in sorrow while a dark figure stood ominously at a distance, looking and “waiting” on her. Underneath the paintings were long dark red banners that covers the wall all the way to the ground. Sebastian was about to look closely at one of the paintings when suddenly, he heard something.

[Wind blowing sound]

He immediately turns around to locate the source of the mysterious sound.

[Wind blowing sound]

After a few turns, he finally saw it. Towards his far left, underneath one of the paintings, the banner seems to be slightly moving.

[Wind blowing sound]

It was unmistakable that there was definitely an opening behind the wall that was causing the banner's movement. Sebastian hesitated for awhile before he decided to a few steps towards the mysterious occurrence in front of him.

“Sebastian...”

It was faint but he was sure that he heard his name being whispered. He approaches the banner cautiously.

“Sebastian...”

He stretched out his right arm, inching ever so slowly towards the banner that was lightly waving in the air. The voice became louder.

“Sebastian...”

[silviajburke]

5 Critical Takeaways From Buffett In Omaha (You’ll Be Disturbed By #4…)

This post 5 Critical Takeaways From Buffett In Omaha (You’ll Be Disturbed By #4…) appeared first on Daily Reckoning.

The first Saturday in May it happens.

Forty-thousand or so people book a hotel room, pack their bags, jump on a plane and come to the vacation hot-spot that is Omaha, Nebraska.

I know, it sounds crazy doesn’t it?  Nobody vacations in Omaha…

The reason that they all do this is even more bizarre.

All of these people do it to sit quietly and listen to a 93 year old and an 86 year old share their thoughts and opinions!

I think it is safe to say that there is nothing else like this on our fine planet.

These two very senior citizens are not your average retirement home residents.

They are Warren Buffett and his longtime partner in crime Charlie Munger.

Together they have turned Berkshire Hathaway from being a near worthless textile mill in the late 1960s into a conglomerate with a $410 billion market cap today.1

The event that brings so many people to Omaha is Berkshire’s annual shareholder meeting.  In addition to the 40,000 in attendance there are more watching the livestream on the internet.

It is the wisdom that these men share at the meeting each year that brings all these people together.  It is the wisdom of these two men that make all these people do something very unusual.

They all just sit there and listen.

Here are the key things that 40,000 plus listeners learned this year.

Need to Know #1 – $9.5 Billion Reasons Buffett Should Love President Trump

As he has gotten older Buffett has gotten somewhat more political.  He was a very vocal supporter for President Obama in both of his victories and this time around he was publicly in the corner of Hillary Clinton.

While Buffett bet on the wrong horse in the election, I would have a hard time saying that he didn’t win.

And win big at that.

President Trump’s plan to reduce the corporate tax rate to 15 percent will be a huge benefit for Berkshire Hathaway and Buffett personally.  Thanks to Buffett’s incredible long term investments in companies like Coca-Cola, American Express and Wells Fargo, Berkshire sits on over $95 billion in unrealized capital gains.2

According to Buffett, if the corporate tax rate were to drop by 10 percent Berkshire’s value would immediately increase by $9.5 billion thanks to the reduced future tax owing on all of those unrealized gains.

Even for Berkshire that is a huge amount of money.

On top of that will be another multi-billion bump in cash flows that come with a reduced annual tax burden.

Not a bad consolation prize for when your candidate doesn’t win!

Need to Know #2 – Self-Driving Vehicles Will Permanently Damage These Businesses

Investing is all about predicting the future.  The better that you are figuring out what is going to happen the better you will be as an investor.

Buffett has excelled because he has focused on companies with giant competitive moats around them.  Powerful brand names like Coca-Cola which generate much more predictable future cash flows.  That has allowed Buffett to accurately predict the future.

On the horizon Buffett sees a major threat to two of Berkshire’s core business.

The threat is in the form of self-driving cars and trucks.  While he doesn’t exactly know when such vehicles will become widespread, Buffett admits that they are going to do serious damage to Berkshire’s auto-insurance (GEICO) and railroad businesses (Burlington Northern).

Buffett’s personal belief is that autonomous cars are definitely coming, but it will be a long way into the future.

You may want to keep that in mind should you be tempted to own companies operating in these specific industries.

Need to Know #3 – $96 Billion In Cash And More Arriving Every Day

There are high class problems and then there are Buffett-class problems.

For Buffett and Berkshire, the problem is having too much cash, with more arriving each and every day — making the problem even bigger.

As of the end of the first quarter Berkshire was sitting on $96 billion of cash and cash equivalents.  Berkshire’s wide network of operating subsidiaries sends more cash to corporate headquarters constantly.

For Buffett that means he must regularly be pulling out his elephant gun and bagging himself some major acquisitions.  To just keep the cash pile from growing, Buffett will need to find $30 billion in acquisitions in 2017.

And that is easier said than done.  There aren’t that many elephants running around.

This is the kind of problem that we all wish we could have and it reminds me why I love yield paying investments.  Having that passive cash flow stream constantly arriving in the bank is a beautiful thing.

Need to Know #4 – Healthcare Costs Are The Giant Tapeworm In America’s Economic System

President Trump’s big proposed tax cut is obviously getting a lot of attention.  For what truly is the number one drag on American businesses, however Buffett says that we need to look somewhere other than the current tax regulations.

According to Buffett it isn’t the tax burden that is killing corporate America, it is rising health care costs…

On this issue Buffett didn’t just provide opinion, he provided some data (which I verified):

“If you go back to 1960, or thereabouts, corporate taxes were about 4% of GDP, I mean they bounced around some. And now, they’re about 2% of GDP. At that time, health care was 5% of GDP, and now it’s about 17% of GDP.”3

Buffett described rising healthcare costs as being the “tapeworm” that is hindering the competitiveness of American business.  A look at that chart would make a person have to agree.

And like a tapeworm the problem keeps getting worse putting American manufacturers at a huge disadvantage.

Need to Know #5 – Too Much Index Fund Investing Could Result In Market Chaos

Despite being an incredible investor Buffett has advised his wife to put the vast majority of what she inherits from him into an index fund.

While confident in his own investing ability, Buffett is no fan of the mutual fund and hedge fund industries because of their high level of fees.

Buffett’s belief is that those fees, especially those of the “2 and 20” hedge funds make it virtually impossible for managers to outperform the overall market.

If fact at this year’s meeting Buffett took the time to single out Vanguard’s Jack Bogle (who was in attendance) for saving investors hundreds of millions of dollars with his index funds.

Interestingly, at the meeting Bogle made some interesting comments about the potential dangers of too much indexing.  He explained that if everyone indexed and there was not active management of capital it would result in utter chaos, or catastrophe for the stock market.4

The problem with too much indexing is that index funds allocate capital with no thought given to valuation.  In other words, there is no price that an index fund wouldn’t be willing to pay for a company.

Some (like me) might suggest that there are already disruptions happening in the market today because of the flood of cash into index funds during the current bull market.

You will hear more on this in the future.

(BONUS) Need To Know #6 – Warren And Charlie Hold The Secret To Your Happy Retirement Life

The single most important takeaway from the Berkshire shareholder meeting for me this year is the same as it was last year (and the year before).

At 86 and 93, respectively, both Warren and Charlie are absolute marvels.

They are both still sharp as tacks and haven’t lost a step.

The reason for this is no mystery to me.  They both love what they do and get out of bed every day excited to keep learning and find the next big investment.

This isn’t unique to Warren and Charlie.  I’ve noticed the same thing through Buffett’s entire circle of lifelong investing and business friends/associates.

These people remain active and passionate about what they do into their eighties and nineties, and they retain a remarkably high quality of living because of it.

So there you have it…

The secret to a rich retirement is following two of the best investment minds alive — something we’ll keep you ahead of here at The Daily Edge.

And, the secret to a happy retirement is to find something you love that also keeps your mind fully engaged.

This is something we should all learn from.

Here’s to looking through the windshield,

Jody Chudley, Chief Credit Analyst, The Daily Edge EdgeFeedback@AgoraFinancial.com

1 Berkshire Hathaway Inc. Form 10-Q, United States Securities and Exchange Commission 2 Official Home Page, Berkshire Hathaway Inc 3 Historical Data, Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services, CMS.Gov 4 Bogle Says If Everybody Indexed, Markets Would Fail Under Chaos, Sonali Basak, Bloomberg

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