Transcript:
I'd like to congratulate you on getting your CPR certification.
Now remember, when you’re going in for compressions, it should sound like somebody is standing behind you with the worlds largest Dorito and cracking it open!
Go in firm and hard and snap as many ribs as you can on the way down, that means you’re doing it right.
You save that life. Good luck.
Or... Or... Or kill them, I don’t fucking care.
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Modern AU
Cassandra has a death wish with the drinks she makes. Bela is surprised her sister didn’t get a heart attack. But that is only Bela, what does she know when it comes to the things that her sister does. As long as she’s handling this madness just fine, Bela shouldn’t have any reason to complain.
But the eldest daughter feels obligated to mention what is mixed with the vodka. Because different people like different things right? Some prefer cranberry, others prefer cherry soda, and then there is Cassandra’s mix which is vodka and red bull. Of course, it isn’t for show, Cassandra does drink that monstrosity and thinks most people are okay with this thing.
It isn’t only vodka. On occasion, Bela saw her sister mix espresso with red bull when she needs the extra burst of energy after staying up very late. How her sister didn’t drop dead after drinking that is still something Bela wonders about to this day.
Cassandra never listens though. She thinks it’s okay and as long as her body isn’t rejecting this then why should she stop?
On a morning while the girls were staying over at their aunt Donna’s house, Cassandra did toss espresso in a glass full of the energy drink. It was then that the three sisters saw their very kind and very soft-spoken aunt snap.
Donna is very against energy drinks. To the Italian woman, if you need energy you get it from caffeine that’s either in tea or coffee, and that’s about it. Energy drinks are a huge no in her book and she often speaks about it. To see her niece nonchalantly mix two things that have no business mixing together, the woman was sent over the edge.
Donna might have over-dramatized it. She didn’t have to go as far as to mention how she would tell Alcina that she stood by while her daughter killed herself. Because the woman is convinced that the second Cassandra drinks the beverage, her soul will depart from her body.
Daniela, trying to help her aunt calm down, mentioned that she should relax because “Cass does this a lot you really don’t—“ But she was interrupted because what do you mean she does this frequently?
Donna wonders how Alcina allows this. To which the daughters gulped because their mother doesn’t really know and they figured that what Alcina didn’t know wasn’t going to hurt her. But of course, Cassandra is cocky and thought her aunt wouldn’t even know what red bull is which is apparently not true at all.
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I had to stand on my bed to take this photo, and I think that's iconic:
I still need to weave in the ends, but this is the back panel complete! I went through thirteen skeins (429yards/392meters/~9,806.94 Dinoponera Gigantea ants) to finish up this panel, but I'm only about 36% of the way through the recommended size.
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Okay. I know I have a lot of cooking mutuals, what do I need to do to make cooking enjoyable??? I am so fucking tired of eating canned soup and kraft mac n cheese and "concoction" (ground beef with whatever else I have that needs eaten and every spice I own). I know people say "if you don't like veggies try different ways of cooking them!" here the thing though, I hate veggie prep. So even changing how I cook them, everything else about veggies is an awful experience for me so I never want to do it. I know people talk about "15 minute meals!" and "one pan recipes!", but so far those have all been lies. People talk about experimenting and trying new things, but I straight up don't know how to do that. People say to listen to podcasts or audiobooks while prepping, but either I focus on the prep and hear none of the story or I focus on the story and struggle with the prep. I am not fast with prep, so meals that require prepping multiple things at once or prepping something while something else is cooking never fails to stress me out to a wild degree. I don't know how I'm supposed to keep everything from burning and keep things stirred and chop up everything and get the next ingredients out and clean as I work all at the same time. I do not enjoy picking out recipes or buying groceries (genuinely hate more than any other chore besides laundry), so meal prep is next to impossible for me. I forget to thaw meat nearly every time I want to cook something and so end up putting it off for days. I can never seem to get my roasted veggies to actually roast, somehow they just steam themselves in the oven. I do not want or like cooking gadgets, so I am doing everything with the very basic supplies. I am cooking for one person so leftovers are a constant issue (I have eaten so much left over food that I find genuinely sickening because I didn't want to waste it). And then I have to do this every day forever till I die. How do I make myself like this??? I am so fucking tired of eating gross food.
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