#it was just very personally important for me
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ohmygoly ¡ 1 day ago
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I dont typically like getting political on tumblr because I know the crowd of people who typically follow the fandoms I'm in. I know the crowd of people who usually pay attention to such fandom cultures in the first place, and I truly don't want to make myself such an enemy in anyone's eyes. But also, I don't want people irrationally scared that the new Hitler is coming to make their lives awful and oppress them in every way imaginable. Because to act like America is about to become Nazi Germany is to prove how out of touch you are with what other countries are doing and also just extra anxiety on your part that doesn't need to exist. I want your life to be less stressful, I really don't want anyone afraid for their life when it's unnecessary. Besides this "checklist" I want to comment on, remember that many changes aren't probably gonna feel very personal to you and while you might notice some slight differences, the day to day will probably be the same as it is through every presidential transition. Some things are cheaper/more expensive maybe, maybe your office or school has some slight alterations, but thats usually about it.
I don't hate anyone. I have met and become friends with more people I disagree with on a lot of important points than I do people I agree with on said issues. The scenarios in which I have met these people have allowed me to see how friendly, creative, and talented they are. It has also allowed me to see just how precarious and overdramatized interactions and relationships with them can be. This does not even include the internet or social media.
"Powerful and Continuing Nationalism" Americans value America first. A healthy country wants to succeed, and to want something to succeed you have to love it first. If you would prefer every other country over the one you live in, then don't live in it. But there is no logic in wanting a country to have influence and do better and actually progress whilst also despising its existence as a country. Plus, most of the "America first" sentiments don't pair with a "hurt other countries" sentiment. More like a "they can and should handle their own problems" one. If you can respect any amount of individual freedom, responsibility, or self pride, then you should be able to respect it on the national scale.
"Disdain For Human Rights" Its not that anyone in power at the moment disdains human rights. In fact, they know that within the government, every human has the right to pretty much everything. Anyone can run for office, vote, start a business, not be discriminated against as a potential employee or customer, and overall do pretty much whatever they like. What they don't want is those rights to be taken away because someone is offended or inconvenienced. Most republicans don't even actually mind trans people, they just dont want children permanently altered or women's safety threatened. If you have the right to sleep with whoever you want, dress however you want, and call yourself whatever you want then why shouldnt others have the right to live, be safe in their own spaces, consent to who gets to see their body, to their speech and opinions (offensive or not)? Those things can live side by side. In fact, the best you can do when it comes to human rights is not over manage speech. They should, however, manage some actions that can have harmful/permanent effects.
"Identification of Enemies as a Unifying Cause" This is clearly about illegal immigrants and trans people. Again, no one thinks trans people are the enemy. More so the ideology since overall it blatantly refuses the truth of sex, any self responsibility (you choose how you present yourself to people and how you manage your own thoughts and feelings), or any concern for others' feelings and safety that isn't a trans person. It would be like saying because someone hates depression they hate all depressed people. No. You as a person can still be good and deserving of all your human rights, but the ideas themselves aren't helpful to any society. Illegal immigrants aren't being threatened with mass genocide or really much violence at all. Rather, if they havent committed other crimes within the country that would deserve actual punishment they are simply facing return back to the country they came from. It is immoral to allow illegal immigrants in the country, not only for the safety of the citizens that the politicians swore to protect but also because it is exploitative. It's also dangerous to make it here, so why would you want to encourage people to risk their lives to come to a place where they can't enjoy all the rights of being a citizen?
"Rampant Sexism" As a woman, I can say with absolute certainty that I do not see one ounce of blatant sexism from the politicians coming into power and I certainly do not feel politically oppressed in any way. There are many other cultures where sexism is even worse, if you can even call anything in America actual sexism, but I'm sure it would be considered racist to make such a claim. Its not as if middle eastern women are fighting for their lives and education and equality or anything. Us Americans have it so bad because sometimes a man says something weird and gross. The most sexist thing I've ever come across on a societal scale within my life is the prioritization of men who say they're women over actual women. But we definitely don't see the new people in office supporting that sentiment.
"Controlled Mass Media" This is the only one I will give even the slightest ounce of credit, simply because I know the government would prefer Meta over other companies and they did ban tiktok/almost ban tiktok? In any case, if you can still get news from pretty much every political ideology, access any other social media website, shop at the "Banned Books" section of a book store, and access literally any other form of media that has existed throughout our history then your media is most likely not very controlled. The thing with social media specifically is that it is still so new so we will obviously need to figure out how to navigate that within our physical world but that isn't a sign of a fascist country, thats simply a sign that we are facing a rapid change in technology and don't know how to handle it yet. Its a great thing we have a constitution and hella rebellious citizens who will make finding the best, least oppressive solutions easier here than probably anywhere else on the planet!
"Obsession with National Security" The only reason there's a surge in national security is because there has also been a surge in threats against the security of this nation. Through many foreign nations and within our own borders. This country cannot be successful and cannot help any other country in the world if we are falling apart while we are doing it.
"Religion and Government Intertwined" There is a difference between politicians being religious and it actually being intertwined with our government. Most government policies made are based on our constitution and how we can best respect the rights given to us through it. The religion of any of the politicians is not going to become mandatory or oppressive to anyone not of that religion, because that is not the goal. Anyone can come up with the sentiment that they need to fix the way the government runs and protect the rights of their citizens. Yes, religion might influence some of their opinions on things and a few of their changes, but if you elect someone you have to accept that they have ideas about things. Thats just how it works. Overall, religion will not become permanently intertwined with the government or forced upon citizens.
"Labor Power Suppressed" Last I checked, you can get any job you want. Literally, you can quit any job you don't like, and just go find a new one. Not to mention they want to improve businesses and they know that the labor class is very vital to that.
"Rampant Cronyism and Corruption" Corruption is a vague word and a lot of the people in the new administration don't even agree on everything. The main thing they agree on is that they want to see America succeed and that they will respect the elected president's right to see that mandate through, as an elected official. How terrible of a president to hire people that don't hate him and won't sabotage the policy goals he was elected to see through.
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Looking more like a checklist these days. I want off this ride. 😭
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bluemoonscape ¡ 2 days ago
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I’m overanalyzing Melissa as a character, but listen, the toxic yuri is calling.
Obviously Melissa and Shauna as a ship is pretty surprising, seeing as Mel hasn’t had very much screen time at all—even Shauna was shocked and appalled to find out she has a personality—but I do like it. A lot. It provides a catalyst for Shauna finally confronting her sexuality in a direct manner on screen and is presumably going to have some lasting effects on the adult timeline too. It’s a Jackieshauna win, at that, because this all but confirms Shauna had feelings for Jackie, and I’m relatively (cautiously) confident that it will be delved into more throughout the season to make it clear? Either way the implication is there.
Melissa herself has a chance to be so interesting in this season now. In S2, we learned very little about her as an individual at all. She was with Gen a lot, we know that. She was one of Lottie’s followers like many of the girls. Now in S3, she’s incredibly drawn to Shauna. Shauna is a powerful figure among the girls—while Nat is their group leader and Lottie is their spiritual leader, Shauna is the girl that you do not fuck with.
Her being surprised by Melissa expressing her opinions and joking around is a funny sort of fourth-wall breaker, but if you’re really delusional like me then there can be more layers to that! Melissa is one of the lesser known girls. She’s quiet and has pretty shy/anxious tendencies these first 2 eps of S3. Of course, most of what we see of her is her with Shauna, so that’s probably amplified by Shauna’s presence in those scenes—but bottom line, Melissa isn’t a powerful figure in the group. She doesn’t have an important role. She’s not one of the big dogs.
But Shauna is.
And notably, Melissa acts on her feelings for her the moment Shauna holds a knife to her throat:
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She’s not just drawn to that power, but she actually physically lusts after it. Mari seems somewhat similar based on how she’s seemed to rise in the ranks and butt heads with Shauna between S2 and S3, except Melissa doesn’t push against Shauna to gain that power, but pulls her in with the allure of acceptance.
And Shauna, wow. A major facet of her character and character arc as a whole is her strong tendency towards envy. She had it for Jackie and now she has it for Nat in Jackie’s absence. She always feels inferior to someone and has to exert herself over them in some way to make herself feel better. Equal. Important. Her strategy has thus far been alienation, what with her telling Jackie she might as well leave the cabin, and now trying to oust Nat as the leader and turn the other girls against her.
But now here’s Melissa who subconsciously desires the force of Shauna’s will, is seduced by all the things that make others see her as frightening. Shauna suddenly has control over someone like (or so she perceives) Jackie had control over her. And, like Sophie Nelisse said in this interview, she has complicated feelings for Melissa because she yearns for the acceptance, but also has motive to manipulate Melissa and use her to help her turn the girls against Nat:
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So Melissa makes Shauna stronger against Nat and as an individual within the group by backing her as she is in all of these photos, and Shauna makes Melissa feel more empowered, i.e. her telling Melissa “don’t” when Mari tells her to bring her a drink. Telling her “you don’t have to do that, don’t listen to her.” Except Melissa needs somebody to listen to at all times, so it’s not that she’s becoming independent, it’s that she’s turning away from serving others and choosing to serve Shauna instead.
And there’s the fact that Shauna is very likely going to project Jackie onto Melissa whether she realizes it or not BUT that remains to be seen I won’t talk don’t let me talk
Point is, I really like the unhealthy power dynamics that have already been established in Shauna x Melissa (shaulissa? shaunalissa? or just. shaunahat) and I think it’ll be a hell of a toxic yuri ride. Melissa, get behind me, I’ll protect you from the haters
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woso-dreamzzz ¡ 4 hours ago
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Javelin
Ona Batlle x Reader
Summary: You and Ona are each other's homes
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The first time you met Ona, she kicked you in the face with a football.
In revenge, you threw it straight back at her and she accidentally lost a tooth from the impact.
You'd been best friends ever since then and your parents could barely keep the pair of you separated.
And as with all things like that, a relationship was naturally the next step.
Fumbles in the back rooms of the family home, making out in your room during family reunions, a kiss after Ona scores in an important match.
And all of those soft, teenage fumbles transformed into something much more beautiful.
You'd followed her to Manchester when she left Spain.
It had taken a lot, uprooting your whole life and moving to a different country whose language you hadn't paid much attention to in school.
Ona helped though.
Ona always helped.
That had always been the case.
Ona helped you and you helped her.
Your training never really went as long as hers. You weren't away from home as often as Ona was. Throwing a javelin wasn't quite as physically draining as football was so you were able to cook dinner and clean up and go to almost all of her matches to support her.
"That smells good."
Arms close around your waist gently and a head rests between your shoulder blades.
"Taste," You say, bringing a spoon up to Ona's lips straight from the pot," Good? Too salty? Not salty enough?"
"Perfect," Ona says," Perfect like always. You spoil me."
"You deserve to be spoiled."
Ona giggles a little, a soft kiss being pressed against your neck as she moves away. "I'll grab the plates."
You make a home in Manchester together before Barcelona come knocking and you're more than willing to return to Spain again.
You get another coaching team. You train in the heat.
You and Ona discuss a dog but nothing has come of it just yet. You bask in each other's company. You return to family reunions and seeing Ona's family on the weekend right until the summer.
The run up to the Olympics is brutal.
You're both tired and drained but it's a dream to represent Spain on a stage like that, to show people around the world just what you can do.
People watch events that they don't usually watch and if you can even convert one person into a javelin fan then it'll be an Olympics well spent.
You have your goals for this Olympics and Ona has hers.
And you hate seeing that her goals will be left unfinished.
"Hey..." You say gently as she approaches you at the barrier," I'm sorry."
You can see her putting on a brave face. You know it's fake.
You lean over and gently draw her closer.
Spain hadn't made it to the final. They'd lost the bronze medal.
Ona had lost the bronze medal.
Your own gold medal for javelin feels like a weight in your bag, heavy and you wish you could throw it in the river so Ona wouldn't be able to see it.
But you know that she knows you won it.
She'd sent a very long rambling text before setting up an accompanying phone call where she declared her love for you and told you how proud she was and how she couldn't wait to see your medal.
Now though, you don't want her to see it.
You don't want her to see it because you know she'll be reminded of what she's just lost and you can't do that to her.
You won't do that to her.
You refuse to do that to her.
So you hold Ona against you now as she rests her head in your shoulder and you play with the soft baby hairs that rest on the back of her neck.
"We've got a break now," You whisper to her, voice quiet and soft and everything she needs to hear right now," We'll go somewhere hot. With a beach. We'll relax and have some fun before the season starts again. Relax and reset."
"I wanted to win you a medal," Ona chokes out against your skin," I know you've already got one but-But I wanted to get you another one."
"I don't need another one," You assure her," I've got you. That's enough for me."
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unabletonotlovesatoru ¡ 18 hours ago
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⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ teddy’s notes: kinda bridget jones’s diary coded/inspired bc its one of my fav romcoms, watched it solely bc of colin firth when i was 15 and i think nanami kinda reminds me of him soooo, also reader is awkward and bridget inspired obvi
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new year’s resolutions were stupid. you knew this. they were a yearly tradition of setting unrealistic goals and then abandoning them by february. and yet, here you were, writing them down anyway.
1. stop embarrassing self in front of nanami kento.
2. get life together (financially, emotionally, spiritually, etc.).
3. no more hopeless pining over emotionally unavailable men (see: nanami kento).
you tapped your pen against your notebook, frowning.
this was going to be a disaster.
nanami had been a problem for you for far too long. serious, disciplined, devastatingly handsome—he made suits look unfairly good, and his deadpan sarcasm made your brain short-circuit. worse, he was kind to you. not in a flirty, obvious way, but in that nanami way—remembering how you took your coffee, covering you with his jacket when you fell asleep on a mission, standing between you and danger without a second thought.
but that was just who he was.
and you? you were… not like him. your life was a mess. you were the kind of person who accidentally sent texts to the wrong people, spilled coffee on important documents, and tripped over nothing. a disaster, really.
so, resolution #1. stop embarrassing yourself in front of him.
simple enough.
except it was not simple, because ten minutes later, you were at gojo’s new year’s party, wine glass in hand, already halfway to ruining your life.
“looking serious as always, nanamin.” gojo slung an arm around nanami’s shoulders, grinning like the menace he was. “you here to celebrate, or did someone trick you into coming?”
“i was invited,” nanami replied, sipping his drink. “and unlike some people, i have manners.”
you watched from across the room, pretending not to stare. he looked unfairly good in that suit—tie loosened just enough, hair slightly tousled. new year’s was supposed to be a time of fresh starts, and yet here you were, still hopelessly into him.
“you’re staring,” shoko murmured beside you.
“i’m not—”
“you are,” she said, smirking. “just go talk to him.”
“no. absolutely not.” you took a sip of wine. “besides, he doesn’t think of me that way.”
shoko gave you a look. “right. sure. keep telling yourself that.”
before you could argue, gojo’s voice rang out.
“alright, everyone, five minutes to midnight!”
the room buzzed with excitement, couples moving closer, people laughing as they grabbed champagne. you swallowed, suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that at midnight, there would be a moment—the kind of moment where people kissed, or at the very least, awkwardly looked around for someone to kiss.
you, of course, had no such luck.
instead, you found yourself standing near nanami, your brain short-circuiting as you tried to act normal.
he glanced down at you. “enjoying yourself?”
“oh, yeah. love parties. love new year’s. nothing like a fresh start.” you gestured vaguely, then immediately regretted it because you nearly sloshed your drink onto his sleeve.
nanami raised a brow. “right.”
you cleared your throat. “what about you? any resolutions?”
he was quiet for a moment, then said, “just one.”
before you could ask what, gojo started counting down.
“ten! nine! eight—”
the room filled with excitement, voices overlapping, people turning to their partners. you, meanwhile, were frozen in place, heart hammering.
seven! six! five—
nanami was still watching you, expression unreadable.
four! three—
you opened your mouth, about to say something, anything—
two! one!
the room erupted into cheers, and before you could process it, nanami was leaning in, his hand brushing your waist.
oh.
your breath caught, and then—softly, gently—he kissed you.
it wasn’t dramatic. it wasn’t some grand, cinematic moment. it was just him, warm and steady, like he had been waiting for the right time.
when he pulled back, you stared at him, dazed.
“happy new year,” he murmured.
you blinked. “oh. uh. yeah. happy new year.”
nanami huffed a quiet laugh, then—so casually it nearly knocked you off your feet—brushed a thumb over your cheek before stepping away.
you stood there, absolutely wrecked, as gojo whistled somewhere in the background.
shoko sidled up beside you, smirking. “so. about him not thinking of you that way…”
you groaned, burying your face in your hands. resolution #1 was already a failure.
but honestly? maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing.
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greenandhazy ¡ 1 day ago
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There is a book entirely about exploring ethical conundrums like this, and I would like to transcribe the conversation that brought it to my attention, between myself and some coworkers, particularly one coworker, Jeffrey, who was notorious for being utterly obsessed with our job.
Jeffrey: Oh, cool thing--I just finished reading this book called Would You Eat Your Cat?, and one of the chapters featured [a historical illustration related to our job]. Coworker 2: It was called what? Jeffrey: Would You Eat Your Cat?. It's about interrogating cultural taboos, and one of the chapters was like, if your cat died, would you eat it? Me: Why would you eat your cat? Jeffrey: Not like would you kill your cat to eat it--but if it died a natural death, as opposed to burying it or cremate it, would you eat it, like as a final tribute to the time you spent together. Honestly, I think it made some compelling arguments. If I weren't vegan, I might eat my cat. Me: Really? Why, though? I don't tend to think of eating something as a way to express friendship towards it. Jeffrey: Well, why not? It's all kind of socially constructed, so-- Coworker 2: Yeah, sure, the taboo against eating cats is kind of arbitrary, but you just said you found it compelling enough to make you reconsider veganism! What is the argument for eating your cat? Jeffrey: I really didn't think you guys would get so caught up on the cat thing. I thought you'd be excited about the picture. Coworker 3: ONLY YOU WOULD THINK THAT, JEFFREY.
Anyway. There are some less random hypotheticals in there, including very weighty concepts--and, full disclosure, personally I did not enjoy reading the book--but I do agree with the OP that the concept of interrogating the origins of our morals is important, and some people might find the book more to their taste.
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booksooks ¡ 1 day ago
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i havent even met sylus in game but some of yall seem to have him confused for your own oc because he would Not act Like That
typing using voice to text so I'm sorry if the formatting is weird, but from what my friend who has met sylus has told me: this man would not act the way some of you guys are insisting. like he would not be jealous to the point of being entirely unable to communicate. he would not try to kiss you as a way of making up, or as a way to stop you from being angry with him. that's just not something i see as feasibly anywhere near sylus as a character.
if you want to write a big daddy dom character who completely bulldozes over your feelings in lieu of 'fucking the jealousy out of you', then by all means go for it. but at that point, you are writing for an original character because that is wildly mischaracterizing someone who (again, according to my friend because i havent even come close to meeting sylus in the storyline) specifically makes room for you to be angry, to feel big emotions in a safe space and to be there for you.
the amount of fanfics i've seen that have sylus act in a way that is completely off base is insane. i'm aware that this is fanfiction, that people can write whatever they want and it's not harmful because at the end of the day: it's FAN FICTION and if you can't separate reality from fiction or whatever, you're not mature enough to be reading mature works or you simply don't have the media literacy skills to do so. but i've had a very long and emotionally draining week, and my temper is hanging on by a thread, and i'm allowed to be angry about a completely bullshit take on one of my favorite characters lmfao.
let me be clear, i'm not saying sylus cannot, will not, and has never been domineering, or protective, or that he doesn't have a fucking daddy kink or whatever. what i AM saying, is that the amount of fanfictions of sylus blowing the reader off or ghosting them or just simply not communicating and then expecting the reader to fall back into his arms after a kiss and a few well placed 'kitten's is astounding. even if he made the bad choice of being distant without explanation, he wouldn't expect the reader to instantly forgive him without an ELABORATE apology and an explanation. and honestly, i'm willing to put that bullshit of 'she forgives him because he's hot and he pulled her in close with his strong arms and hes so big daddy alpha dom' into the category of misogyny. because in what world does someone go from angry and hurt to forgiving and pliant just because he's a man and he kissed you. it is blatantly misogynistic to expect that.
i'm aware there is a lot of nuance within relationships, and that not everyone can be expected to be perfect at all times, HOWEVER this is fanfiction, and the authors i'm talking about have either explicitly stated that the reader and sylus have an established romantic relationship, or that they at the very least get along well and enjoy each other's company. so for sylus to then go ghost on the reader and expect them to instantly fall back into his arms at the end of the day then puts me in the position of 'simpering woman with no spine'. again, misogynistic.
at the end of the day, i'm aware this isn't an important issue and i'm aware that the misogyny in fanfiction doesn't necessarily have to transfer over to real life, especially because i do have critical thinking. but i have been ghosted before by an at-the-time boyfriend, and it sucked, so it's more of a personal issue from me.
i'm aware people can write whatever they want, and i have no obligation to read something i don't like. but that then eliminates what seems to be 50% of the fanfiction of sylus. i'm just saying please... consider writing literally anything else for sylus. for a man who has been made to love you specifically... y'all sure don't make him act like it.
if anyone wants me to elaborate or clarify some things, please send me an ask because the comments are not easy to navigate especially with multiple replies.
last but not least: i'm aware these are my personal feelings, and that i can write to make up for it should i so choose. but i hate having to scroll past 5 fics in a row with quite frankly stupid miscommunication issues from a man who is 28 and should damn well know better. thank you.
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michilinstar ¡ 22 hours ago
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Valentine's edition! (2025)
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I wanted to base this off of the keys they released based on the dorms!
Heartslabyul
Riddle Rosehearts - ♛
Finals were coming up in just two weeks and you were too stressed out to realize what a special day it was. To ease your worries you had built up the courage to ask the smartest person you knew which of course it was Riddle. You caught him during passing period rushing through the halls you spotted his well known red hair sticking out from the crowd.
“Hey! Riddle, wait up!” I yell and he stops in his tracks turning towards the sound of my voice and continues walking once I've caught up before speaking.
“Is there something particularly important happening that you needed to seek me out..?” He asks.
“Yes actually!” As we're walking I rummage through my school bag and in response Riddle's heart skips a beat. “Could you probably help me with my final reviews..?” I ask showing him my review sheets, which he awkwardly coughs in his fist with a small tint to his cheeks stopping in his tracks taking the sheets in my hands examining them.
“Hm, very well. Meet me after school in the library.” He says handing the sheets back and we head into class. The day was long and I took every second of it seriously, taking notes, and always taking the chance to study for the finals. The bell rang for the last class and I packed up my stuff making it for the library to meet with Riddle, I found an empty study table and took a seat laying my bag on it taking my stuff out. Riddle eventually showed up in a timely manner as per usual.
“Alright what is the first subject you wished to discuss?” He asked, looking lost in my eyes as if contemplating something.
“Something up..?” I ask and Riddle clears his throat with a blush sitting down opening his bag pulling out a white bear holding a rose wearing a necklace with a heartslabyul key hanging from it.
“Riddle..? But I don't understand what is this fo-” I say and Riddle cuts me off.
“Happy Valentines. Okay?” He says now blushing really bright red.
“Huh… Oh! Oh I'm so sorry Riddle! I'm grateful for the gift but I didn't get you anything!” I say.
“It's alright it is Queen of Heart rule 811 requires that no gift shall be given after,” He takes a moment to look at the time, “after 4pm and it would seem that it is already 4:01, pity.” He states, that's gotta be the most fakest rule I've ever heard.
“Thank you…” I take a moment to examine the key, “What's the key for..?”
“It's a key copy of the key that unlocks my dorm room,” He awkwardly coughs into his fist looking off to the side, “So… if you were to wish to get a break from the world you are welcome to take respite in my dorm room…” He says with a blush now looking into my eyes. I shyly blush and hug him and he jumps in surprise and reciprocates now interlocking our hands as we stare into eachothers eyes touching foreheads.
“Now shall we go over these subjects?” He says now letting go now looking over the papers and I nod hugging my new plush with a key to the place he cherishes peace the most.
Ace Trappola- ♥︎
I received a message from Ace asking if I were busy this weekend and I had replied no. He seemed excited and asked me to attend the upcoming basketball game he was playing in against RSA. Having Promised Ace to attend, here I am in the bleachers cheering for him and his team. It was the final round and the teams were coming in a real close tie, NRC just needed to score two more points before the timer came to a close.
“Come on Ace! Score a point!” I yell out and he hears me and winks at me during the game right when he snatches the ball.
“You got it pipsqueak!” He jogs a bit, weaving his way through the enemy players jumping and scoring a point.
“Yeah! Nice job Ace!” I cheer and Ace celebrates with his teammates high fiving one another.
“Just one more point, come on!” I yell.
The game comes at an intense point, so far none of the teams have managed to score one after Ace. The ball has been going back and forth between players and teams, from a RSA student to another just to get taken by a NRC student. It's just been a never ending loop and the crowd gets even more at the edge of their seats the longer the game goes the less time they have to score a point. I notice Ace signals to his teammates and they all signal back with a nod, could they possibly be planning something?
“Trinity dunk them now!” Ace yells and his teammates swiftly snatch the ball passing it to each other and Ace positions himself near the basket. They toss the ball towards him and he effortlessly catches it and dunks it right at the moment the whistle blows. The NRC crowd cheers and yells once Ace had made the point he celebrates with his team once more high fiving each other. Once the game comes to an end I hop down the bleachers and meet up with Ace hugging him.
“You were amazing out there! The way you effortlessly weaved through other players! And… And the way you-” I excitedly explain and stop talking when I see Ace place a card on my mouth to shut me up.
“Let me surprise you one more time, alright pipsqueak?” He says and he shows that he has a card in his hand and makes it disappear and transfers it to the other hand and in a blink of an eye a bouquet of roses appears in front of me with a bracelet wrapped around them along with a key.
“Happy valentines” He says and leaning down to kiss me on the cheek.
“Ace… Is this a copy of the key to your dorm…?” I blush holding my cheek where he kissed me, “No one else has a key like this besides you and deuce…” say.
“Alright now save me the embarrassment from my teammates and let's head back to school alright?” I shyly nod with a smile and we leave the court.
Deuce Spade- ♠︎
Deuce and I were exiting Sam's shop when it suddenly started raining. I directed him to my dorm since it was the closest to take cover in. We rush inside the dorm soaking wet, we take off our shoes and relax in the common room.
“Stay right here, I'll go get us a towel.” before I go upstairs deuce grabs my hand.
“Think…think you can change your shirt..?” He says and I look confused and blush looking down at my white shirt now see through because of the rain.
“Ri…right yes… sorry!” I say rushing upstairs changing into a new shirt and coming back with a towel. I gesture for Deuce to lean his head down and I start drying his hair with the towel.
“Hey… that's one of my shirts that I had left here from the sleepover..?” He points out.
“Oh that, yeah I like to wear it sometimes… is… is it weird?” he shakes his head in response, blushing.
“No, it's okay… you can wear my other shirts if you like..” I blush at his response and he then takes the towel once I'm done and puts it on my head covering my eyes.
“Deuce..?” I ask
“Keep covering your eyes” He says and I hear some shuffling, “Alright now open them…” He blushes, staring at me once I remove the towel I see my favorite book in his hands with a letter and key attached.
“This is…”
“A key copy to my dorm room and your favorite book… Happy valentines…” He says while rubbing my hand with his thumb nervously.
“Thank you…” I say and then look out the window, noticing the rain getting worse.
“You should wait out the storm until you can get back to your dorm..” 
“Yeah, that sounds like the best option right now..” He says.
Trey Clover- ♣︎
Trey had asked me to visit the dorm kitchen to help him bake a batch of tarts for Riddle's next unbirthday party. I walk into the kitchen to find Trey with his sleeves rolled up kneading the dough on the counter.
“I’d pay to see that sight everyday…” I joke around.
“You can if you visit the dorm everyday.” He teases
“If you so dearly insist Trey” I say.
“Anyways, how many of these you gotta make.”
“Last checked with Riddle, pretty sure I have to make 4 tarts this time.”
“Geez, weren't those large 3 ones last time enough..?” I joke and he laughs
“Apparently not enough…” He finished making the third tart, “hey can you get me a jug of milk for the last batch..?”
“Sure.” I say and I go and retrieve the milk from the fridge, “Hey remember the time Ace got his ass chewed out for eating a tart that one time..?” I reminisce.
“Oh yeah haha,” he then asks me to go fetch the flour from the top of the shelf and I pull out a chair climbing on it barely reaching the flour and then suddenly the flour bag drops to the floor causing a flour explosion. We both cough and when the flour cleared from the air we looked at each other covered in flour and started laughing.
“Here let me help you,” Trey walks over to me holding my hand to let me down from the chair and rubs his hand on my cheek.
“Silly, you got a bunch of flour all over you.” 
“You too!” I say doing the same gesture to him.
“I actually had another reason to call you here today.” He says and leave the room coming back with a bag of sweet treats with a d flower along with a key tied to it.
“I baked these earlier and the key lets you into my room anytime, so if you want to bother me my door is quite literally open. Happy Valentines.” He says with a smile and removes some flour off my nose with his finger licking it after.
“Thanks Trey..” I turn to look at the kitchen, “We should probably clean this up huh… before we’re one of Riddles Next victims.” Trey laughs and nods.
Cater Diamond- ♦︎
Cater and I were hanging out at a park skipping out on class that day and he took many photos of our time there.
“Looking so cuteness in this photo mind if I post it? I want everyone to see that we’re having a great time!” He says while typing on his phone.
“You know I don't mind either way Cay-cay.” I say
“Babes, I already told you the name I wanted you to call me-!” he says sadly dramatically acting as if his heart had been wounded.
“Sorry sweetness,” I laugh it off. We walk through the park taking a couple more photos and Cater stops me in front of the fountain and asks a stranger to take a photo of us. While the stranger takes a photo Cater has Ace sneak up behind us and hand him the Valentines Gift he had gotten me. Once the photo was taken I retrieved the phone to look at it and notice Cater holding his gift in front of me.
“Happy Valentine's Babes-!” He says and grabs his phone from me taking a photo of us together. The gift he gave me was an album of photos with us inside along with a key tucked in a little cut out in the book.
“That key is for when you wanna hang in my room for funsies if you’d like” he says blowing a kiss, “Lets head back to school kay?” He says grabbing my hand leading me out of the park.
Savanaclaw
Leona Kingscholar- 𓃬
Leona hadn’t been seen practically all day, I had asked Ruggie where he was but he wouldn’t let up. Ruggie only shared the places Leona usually is and the most likely spot being is the school botanical greenhouse. I sigh as I enter the botanical garden and walk around for a bit observing the surroundings, so far no sign of Leona. The more I walk around I eventually end up  getting pulled from where I stand by someone unknown covering my mouth, I panic for a second and realize who it is.
“Relax herbivore, it's just me.” He says as he pulls back yawning with his hands in his pockets and walks to the place where he was hiding all morning and afternoon.
“You!” I yell.
“Me.” He says tiredly as he lays back down, hands behind his head.
“Everyones been searching for you all day! Do you even realize what time it is!?” I say staring down at him, and he opens one eye to look at me and shrugs, “Ugh! I can't stand you-! You’ve been lounging around here ALL day!”
“You need to breathe.” He says rolling over.
“You know how many times I had to advocate for you to the teachers!?” I say and Leona eventually becomes tired of my rambling and grabs my hand dragging me down to lay with him.
“WAH!” I yell and fall into his chest.
“Yes, yes I'm so grateful for you, now shut it I'm sleeping.” He says as he rests his hand on my hip bone occasionally rubbing it with his thumb.
“I will not be silenced-!” I say with a blush on my face.
“Really..?” He says and I nod
“Leona you need to atten-” I get cut off by Leona capturing my lips to make me stop talking, he pulls by wiping his lips with a smug smile. I stared up at him silently in surprise.
“That oughta do the trick.” He said, “I need you to be quiet so I can give you this.” He then hands me a box with pure gold earrings along with a copy of his dorm room key.
“But this is so expen-” He cuts me off.
“Only the best for my herbivore.” He says, “I’ll save you the trouble of looking for me in the future and guarantee that I'll be in my room and with this key. You’ll be able to get in anytime.” He then drags my head to lay down on his chest and knocks out like a light real quick. WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?
Ruggie bucchi- 𓃥
I had caught Ruggie messing with people in the lunch line snatching other people's lunches. The poor students didn't know what was coming to them, I'm assuming the guy is getting Lunch for Leona.
“Catching some grub for the big ol sleeping lion?” Ruggie jumps when he hears my voice.
“Well actually, I asked Leona if he could let me off today.” He says.
“Then what's up with you stealing all the food?” I ask
“It's for us!” He says as he tosses me two sandwiches with a soda can, he grabs my hand and makes a run for it for the back of the school and sits me down.
“I don't get it, why are you getting me some too?” I ask.
“Just shut up and eat.” He says as he stuffs a sandwich in my mouth and I begrudgingly eat it.
“So…” I gulp down the last bit of food, “ What's the special occasion?” I ask
“Are you that oblivious or do you just not care about Valentine's Day?”  He pulls out a Gift bag full of all kinds of snacks which showcase a dorm room key with it.
“Ruggie! You didn't have to do all this…” I say.
“I don't want to hear any ifs or buts,” He says, “Just accept the Gift.”
“But-” I say and Ruggie gives me a ‘seriously?’ look, “sorry-”
“Look if you really feel bad, then pay me back sometime with lunch-!” He says and I smile giving him a hug, “That key in there lets you in my room so if you need me or anything in there you have free access.” I nod and we enjoy the rest of lunch 
Jack Howl- 🐺ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི
Jack had woken up early in the morning to go running on the track and I had insisted on going with him not realizing how cold it would’ve been in the morning. I sit on the bleachers playing it off so that I'm warm, occasionally blowing hot air into my hands. By now Jack had already done 10 laps around the track and no sign of stopping. I would feel pretty bad if I begged him to come inside because I'm cold when it was really my fault for insisting that I come with. I see that Jack eventually comes to a stop and jogs over to me.
“Just to let you know i'm not gonna stop anytime soon,” just as quick my glimmer of hope had shown it quickly died out the same way, “How long were you gonna freeze to death before you were gonna tell me you were freezing?” He sternly says and goes to his bag to retrieve his Hoodie and slips my head through it gently slipping me into it, a little big but it does the job.
“Sorry I didn't want to bother you.” I say
“You are never a bother, next time, tell me if you’re cold I'm naturally warm so the cold doesn't affect me.” He says as he ruffles my hair, “Now you’re making me confident that you would need the gift I got you..” I perk up at his words and he scratches his head and goes to retrieve the gift and hands it to me, it was a Hoodie with his Last name on the back along with a Dorm room key on top.
“It's not big or extravagant like other Valentine's gifts but I hope you like it.” He says with a small blush, “the key is for you to y’know come into my room whenever you like, maybe take care of my cacti…”
“Oh Jack… I love it.” I pull him into an embrace and kiss him on the cheek.
“Alright my track boy keep on doing your laps.” I tease and he nods continuing where he left off, but now clearly showing his emotion by a wagging tail.
Octavinelle
Azul Ashengrotto- 🐙
Azul had invited me to his V.I.P. room under the guise of setting up a meeting with me in regards to business. I sat on the luxurious couch where he usually received clients, He then entered the room still speaking to the twins looking back at me with a small blush, he shuts them up and shoves them out the room clearing his throat.
“You wanted to speak with me..?” I say and he walks over sitting next to me.
“Well, yes… I have… I have a proposal…” He says nervously.
“Well what is it?” I ask
“Well we trust each other, yes?” He pauses and I nod, “Well I propose a contract to maybe be my Valentine?” He mumbles crossing his arms.
“Is that even a question? Of course!” I say.
“Good, because I intend to take care of you,” he clears his throat, “by that I mean take you out…” He says and the twins burst in the room, Jade bursts pink confetti and Floyd hands me the Valentine's gift Azul had prepared for me. It was an Octopus plushie clutching a contract tied with a dorm room key.
“To accept this mutual agreement then I wish that you sign on this!” He smiles, “and as a show of my trust and a bonus a dorm room key copy to my V.I.P. office and my room”
“Is there any fine print I need to worry about?” I joke around.
“Only that you share your love with me for the rest of our lives or until the contract is dissolved” He says.
“I’d do that anyway.” I tease and a small pink tint adorns his cheeks.
Floyd Leech-𓆟 
I watch as Floyd trails the halls looking in every nook and cranny and I sigh and roll my eyes.
“Give poor Riddle a break today Floyd and stop terrorizing him.”
“Don't ruin the fun Shrimpy… I just wanna squeeze him one time!” He says as he rushes down the hall, I stay where I stand by the open window where Riddle hides himself on the other side.
“He's gone now, now go make your quick escape.” I say examining my nails and Riddle hops through the window running for his dorm.
“You have my gratitude, Prefect.” He says as he runs off into the distance. I feel a sudden looming presence behind me now blocking the sun as my source of light.
“Did I just see that you let goldfishie escape.?” Floyd looks down at me in surprise.
“Yes, you had your fun Floyd. Now where's my attention?” I say.
“You could’ve at least let me have a little more fun..” He whines as he hugs me from behind now resting his head on my shoulder.
“I guess I could give you the gift you’ve been waiting so long for.” He says, “I wanted to see how long you would go if I hadn’t given you your gift.” He then holds out his hand in front of my face, opening it letting a key necklace dangle from it.
“It's a key to my dorm room, so you can visit me anytime you like shrimpy~” I take it in my hands noticing an extra charm with it, “That? Its a glass bead with photos of us inside lets you see them if you bring it up to your eye.” He takes it back from my hands and clasps it around my neck.
“There, now can I have my fun, Shrimpy? Promise I'll give you my fun attention later!” I nod and he goes off to terrorize Riddle. I did all I could Riddle, sorry.
Jade Leech-𓆝 
Jade took me to hike into the mountains behind the school with an excited look on his face. The most emotion we’ll probably get out of him. 
“So if there are some mushrooms that you wanted to specifically find? I ask, grabbing his hand, helping me up from climbing a rock.
“Yes there's a kind I’ve been looking forward to finding, it's said that they grow around this time of year and I believe I'll finally feast my eyes upon it this time.” He says as he continues to climb.
“You’re not gonna keep it? Y'know, like to research?” I ask
“It's not good to extract this mushroom from its natural environment, they would perish at our average altitudes. That's why they grow high up in the mountains.” I take a step on a higher steep and end up slipping, Jade jumps in and grabs me breaking my fall. I lay there on his chest in surprise.
“Are you quite alright?” He asks and gets up carrying me bridal style to a nearby rock to take a seat, “take a breather for a second.” He takes notice of dirt on my cheek and wipes it off with his gloved hand.
“This is actually a great opportunity for me,” He sets his bag down and pulls out a mushroom bouquet..? It's the thought that counts, along with that there's a dorm room key.
“So you could have access to my room any time you’d like, unfortunately i'm sharing with floyd but i'm sure he takes a liking to you.” I accept the gift and hug him, when I pull back I notice an odd looking mushroom behind him.
“By chance, is that the mushroom you were talking about.?” I ask, pointing it out, he turns and his face instantly lights up and goes to take photos.
Scarabia
Kalim Al-Asim- ♔
Is there any special reason Kalim invited me over to his dorm, the only answer being yes, he somehow always has something extravagant planned out whenever he invites me over. As soon as I enter, Kalim attacks me with a big hug.
“Where were you! I have a big day planned for us!” He says.
“Woah Kalim-! What's so special about today?” I ask.
“Valentine's day of course! Did you forget?”
“Oh my gosh it totally slipped my mind sorry Kalim, it's hard to keep track of days.” I apologize.
“No matter! Today I want to spoil you my treasure!” He says as he pulls me to a private dining room, “Jamil worked really hard on the food for our day and in turn he asked that you babysit me for the day.” He says.
“I don't mind watching you either way, but tell Jamil I'm grateful for his hard work.” I say and Kalim pulls out a chair for me to sit in and then pushes the chair in once I take a seat and goes to take his seat. I look at the table covered in many extravagant meals that look very expensive, did he have Jamil work with premium ingredients?
“Before we eat I wish to bestow my amazing gifts to you!” He cheerfully says.
“Kalim, you give me gifts everyday, I feel bad taking so much from you since I know they’re so expensive.” I say and Kalim gives me a sad expression.
“You don't like my gifts?” He asks
“Of course I do! It's just you already give me so much Kalim, I'm happy with whatever you don't have to give me a lot of things that are expensive. I'm more than content if you give me a small gift.
“Well in that case… If you want a small gift maybe this will work…?” He says and leaves the room coming back with a bandana in my favorite color and wrapped inside is a dorm room key.
“Happy Valentines-! Did I do good?” He says.
“A matching bandana with you! Oh I love it, Kalim, could you put it on me?” I say and he happily obliges braiding a braid in my hair and wrapping the bandana on my head to match him.
“You’re one of the ones I trust and love so much-! I gave you a key copy to my dorm room and put my full trust in you whether i'm sleeping or not.” He says as he kneels on the ground taking my hands in his eyes looking up at me.
“Oh Kalim, that's so sweet… and of course I trust myself with you too.” I say cupping his cheek.
“Now! Shall we start dinner?” he cheerfully says and I nod.
Jamil Viper- 𓆗
“Hey so any specific reason you even called me to help with cooking when you literally were not gonna even let me near the food in the first place.” I ask annoyedly, swinging my legs while sitting on the counter of the kitchen.
“It was my error, I had completely forgotten Kalims food mustn’t be prepared by anyone else but me.” He says
“Must be a lot of trouble huh…” I mumble, “Hey Jamil,” I notice him perk up.
“Must you say my name that way…” He mumbles, “Yes, what is it?” He says.
“Cant I at least do something to help? If not, can you give me a snack?” I say and he sighs and goes to wipe off his hands walking over to the pantry.
“You can’t help but I do have a snack that you’ll like,” He rummages through the Pantry  pulling out a box of pocky with a bear holding it.
“Here, happy valentines.” He nonchalantly says and goes back to cooking.
“You can't just drop something like this on someone and act like nothing happened!?” Say before popping a stick in my mouth and Jamil sighs before approaching me, trapping me against the counter.
“Really? So what you’re saying is that you want a romantic gesture with that too?” He gets near my face, “Seriously? Isn't the gift enough? Or you just can't get enough of me?” He says before putting his mouth on the opposite end of the pocky with a smug look on his face.
“Jamil…” I say with a blush and he bites off the end of the pocky sighing burying his head into my neck.
“I love it when you say my name for some reason…” He mumbles, “It's different, it's not you saying that idiot Kalims name. It feels that you seek me out and not get close to me to get close to Kalim.” He leaves a little kiss on my neck before pulling away.
“That should suffice, no?” he says handing me a dorm room key and goes back to cooking leaving me speechless.
“That key lets you into my room if you ever so do please, let that be an invite to my sanctuary.” 
Pomefiore
Vil Schoenheit- 🎬
Vil had invited me to see his brand new movie premier where he claims that he had finally landed the heroine role. I stepped out of the limo that had transported us to the theatre taking Vils arm shyly waving at the paparazzi. Vil calms me by placing his hand over the top of mine silently signaling to relax.
“Be confident dear, you’re with me after all~” He teases and leads me into the theatre where we have the best seats. Throughout the entire movie, Vil and I hold onto each other's hands enjoying it. Vil smiles everytime when he comes on screen and notices your face light up whenever he makes an appearance, surely boosting his ego. Then comes up a scene where he had to kiss another actor for the movie and gets irked by the thought of you witnessing that.
“My dear, you mustn’t take this scene to heart, it was part of the script so I simply had to do it.” I kiss him on the cheek.
“Calm down, I know. It's the price to pay if you date an actor.” I say and he gives me a smile kissing the back of my hand.
“I have a gift for you my dear,” He says and pulls out a gold necklace with purple Jewels.
“Vil I can't possibly.” I say and Vil cuts me off.
“Nonsense my dear. To me. You deserve the world.” He says as he clasps the necklace on me and he slips a dorm key into my hand.
“This lets you into my room anytime so if you seek me out I guarantee i'll be in my room.”
“Oh Vil, thank you.” I hugged him.
“Now let's enjoy the rest of the movie my dear.” I nod and we watch the movie.
Epel Felmier- ❦︎
I sat on top of a ladder picking apples at Epels family farm, I had insisted while I stayed that I help around their farm. Epel said that I didn't have to help but I didn't want to take their kindness for free and eventually he agreed.
“Epel catch!” I toss an apple down to him and he catches it putting it in a basket, “Couple more coming your way!” I throw a couple more and he swiftly catches them
“You think your grandma could bake a couple pies for us?” I ask and he nods, placing the basket down holding his arms out, I get the cue and jump down into his arms. He puts me down and I pick up the basket from the ground and we head back to his place where his grandma is in the kitchen.
“Oh dear, come in come in children!” His grandma ushers us inside and hands us a blanket.
“Is this the only blanket memaw…” Epel asks.
“Yes it is now snuggle up, it's flu season and yall were out there for a while now.” She says and me and Epel scoot next to each other sharing the blanket, he has an obvious pink tint to his cheeks but I don't comment on it. I let out a curt sneeze and Epels grandma instantly gets on it.
“I knew yall would get sick, so I prepared some warm cocoa beforehand.” She hands us some cocoa and I blow on it before taking a drink.
“Thank you Mrs. Felmier!” I say
“No need to be so fancy, just call me grandma.” I smile at that.
“Epel, don't you have something to give to your lady friend?” She teases.
“Meemaw… not now…” he nervously says.
“I didn't raise a boy who couldn’t speak up for himself! Now go on Epel.” She says and Epel sighs, pulling out a small apple pie and hands me a key.
“The pie was made from the apples on the farm, Meemaw helped me… and the key is so you could visit me in the dorm anytime if you wanna hang..” He nervously says.
“OH YOU’RE SO CUTE EPEL!!” I hug him and he blushes.
Rook Hunt- જ⁀➴
I sat outside in the forest leaning against a tree reading a book. I've been reading this series for the past couple days and I had forgotten what day it had been. I was startled when an arrow shot past my face embedding itself into the tree next to my head with a note attached. I jump at the sudden attempt to attack me but realize quickly whose arrow it was.
“Apologies for the scare mon amour! I couldn't think of any other way to catch your attention!” Rook says while perched on top of a tree.
“Well you could’ve y’know called for me but this works too I guess..” I say shutting my book.
“I wish that you come with me, I have something to show you!” He says with an outstretched hand, I happily oblige and take his hand in which he pulls me up into his arms. He puts his bows and arrows away and carries me hoping from one tree to another he eventually comes to a stop, setting me down on top of a tree branch of a tree that grows on a cliff. I cling to him in fear of falling but otherwise the view on the cliff is breathtaking, you’re able to see the whole island from here.
“Rook, how did you find this?” I ask.
“Oh you know me, always scouting out areas mon amour~” He says and we take a seat on the tree branch admiring the scenery, I lay my head on his shoulder and he pulls out a perfume along with a key attached to it.
“Happy Valentines mon amour.” He says and I smile up at him, “This key lets you into my dorm room, saves me the trouble of finding you too.” I laugh at his teasing and we enjoy the scenery.
Ignihyde
Idia Shroud- ⚡︎
I sat in the courtyard of the school staring out enjoying the scenery with a bored look sighing. I notice Idia in the corridor of the school looking a little lost and nervous, I get up and approach the open window of the building.
“Hey, Idia,” I say and he jumps, appearing spooked by the sudden voice, “Whatcha doing looming around here? Not often do we actually see you out of your room besides the floating ipad.” I say waving my hand around with a bored expression leaning on the window.
“What's up with you…?” He mumbles while standing there awkwardly.
“How about checking what's today's date…”I say.
“It's the 14th?” He says.
“You seriously don't know about Valentine's Day..?” I ask 
“Oh, that…. Day…” He says annoyedly, “I of course do know about it, however, I never indulged myself in the day since shut ins like me have no significant others unless we get lucky to get an online one.” he says
“Really..? I would’ve thought you of all people would have some game?” I say with a confused face and notice his hair turn a bit pink.
“Yeah, whatever. What's got you down in the dumps about this day?” He says
“It's the day where I'm the biggest hater, an unwanted reminder that I still have no one who is even remotely interested in even dating me.” I sigh, “it's also one of the days where I avoid social media.” Idia stands there in silence.
“Well, I think you’re SSR level gorgeous,” he mumbles and his hair turns pink when I perk up at that.
“That's sweet, well I guess we’re both loners on this miserable holiday huh..?” I say and Idia walks up to me holding out a key that resembles the dorm keys.
“Take it, it's a key copy that unlocks my room. Almost no one can get in but Ortho,” His hair turns bright pink, “Maybe…maybe we can game sometime, y’know be loners together.” I gratefully took the key from him.
“Thanks..” I smile up at him and his hair starts blazing and he rushes off in embarrassment leaving me there in silence.
Ortho Shroud- ⚡︎ (platonic)
I walked in the halls of the main building carrying the workload Crowley had left to me. It was very important that he had to entrust the task to me. He told me to go drop off a bunch of student paperwork at the teachers lounge, lazy bastard. As I'm walking I end up bumping into Ortho causing me to drop the stack of papers I had.
“Shoot, sorry Ortho.” I say frantically collecting the papers from the ground.
“Please, let me! I was the one at fault!” Ortho then says as he starts collecting paper on the ground with magic he was built with. He then scans my body for any injuries and notices that I had scratched my knee and puts disinfectant then puts a bandaid after.
“If I may ask, why are you carrying such a great work load?” He says as he hands me half the stack and carries the other half.
“Thanks, Crowley left it to me, he wouldn't stop bugging me to do it.” I say and Ortho gives me a worried look.
“On such an important day!? He should’ve considered that you needed to be with your significant other on this day of all days!” He says
“Is today such an important day?” I ask and he gets surprised.
“It's Valentines! You should be out with your lover!” he says.
“Oh, so much time passes I forget to keep track of the days,” I mumble, “Not to worry Ortho, I don’t have anyone particularly special to spend this day with. I guess it's just always been that way.” Ortho then stops when I say that.
“You can spend it with my brother and I then! My brother has always been alone on this day and I can't bear to watch him wallow in loneliness while playing games. I think having someone around might be a good change of pace!” He says and then pulls out a dorm key.
“Here, take this copy of the dorm key that can let you into his dorm room!” He hands me the key.
“Would this be alright with your brother..?” I ask and he nods, “could you at least let him know I have a key copy?” and he nods, we soon reach the door to the teachers lounge and he opens the door for me and places all the papers on the teachers desk happily, waving goodbye.
Diasomnia
Malleus Draconia- 𖤍
I stirred awake in the middle of night waking up to a knocking sound outside my window, I sat up rubbing my eyes looking at the time. It's exactly 12 at midnight. Who could possibly be knocking at my window at this time? Wait. I'm on the second floor? I rush over to the window and open it to see Malleus floating there.
“Malleus? What brings you here to my dorm so late at night?” I ask.
“I require your presence and attention outside, please make haste.” He smiles and I go down stairs to exit my dorm to find Malleus outside with roses smiling down at me.
“I hear this day is important for humans and their significant other,” he takes my hand leading me outside where a bunch of fireflies glow in the yard placing the roses on a nearby window sill, “I wanted to make it special for you” He says as he use his magic to transform my clothes into a beautiful light weight dress. He kneels in front of me taking my hand leaving a light kiss on the back of it.
“May I have this dance my lady?” He asks with a smile staring up at me and I nod and he takes my hand and rests the other on my hip. He sways me around and I nervously look down trying to avoid stepping on him. As we dance he takes notice and redirects my gaze to look at him.
“Relax, I won't get upset if you step on me.” He spins me and pulls me back, “I wish for you to enjoy the moment.” We continue to enjoy the moment until Malleus ends the dance pulling me down leaving a small kiss on my lips. He pulls me back up and bows once more, kissing the back of my hand. He then hands me a dorm room key, and closes my hand with it.
“It's a key that opens up the door to my personal quarters, no one but me or Lilia has access to it and I wish to bestow this upon you to show my forever undying love. Until then, my love” He then disappears with the fireflies and I retire back to my dorm giddy.
Lilia Vanrouge- 🎮
You and Lilia decided to log on to your favorite RPG game for an upcoming raid, you had forgotten what day it was but Lilia didn’t.
“You ready for this raid?” Lilia asks.
“I think I am but I didn't get the rest of the materials for that weapon I wanted really badly from the event…” I sigh through the mic, “So for now I'm stuck fighting with this old one until a new weapon that interests me releases.”
“Really? Is there not any other weapon in the game that strikes your interest?” He asks
“No, that was the one that really stood out to me.”
“Fufufu well prepare to be blown away my little bat~” He chuckles, “Check your weapon tab~” He hints and I open up the weapon tab on my account there lays the weapon I thought I hadn’t gotten my hands on.
“Lilia! How-!” I say.
“Let's say every time you logged off I logged on for you and farmed for the weapon you wanted so badly~” He says, “Happy Valentines Day my little bat~” He says.
“Thank you so much Lilia!” I say
“Hold your horses, I also hid a little something in your school bag too” He says and I get up to go dig through my bag and find a gift card with a dorm room key.
“Enjoy and feel free to visit anytime you like.” He says
Silver- ⚔
I had asked Silver to help me learn how to use a sword and he asked me to meet up with him in the back of my Dorm house.
“Alright, first to start with is your stance. Legs spread apart body low and put all your strength into your swing.” He says as he circles around me, “We already went over all the sword moves so come at me like you're really trying to end me.” I run towards him swinging and he instantly has me backing up, I look back and he grabs my jaw.
“Eyes on me princess.” He says and I nod pushing forward occasionally faltering, after much trial and error I managed to disarm him of his sword.
“Thank the sevens. I finally did it” I say falling to my knees taking my much needed breather.
“Nice job out there I think this is where we should call it a day.” He pulls me up back onto my legs and leads me to a tree to lean on, he goes to grab us water and sits down next to me and I lean against him catching my breath shutting my eyes. I open my eyes when I feel Silvers hand cover my eyes and I feel him rest his head on my shoulder and I feel his soft breathing.
“Keep them shut..” I then feel him plant a soft kiss on my lips and feel an unknown object being placed in my hands. “Sorry…” I feel his head back on my shoulder and the vibrations of his voice once again, he pulls his hand back and I see what he had given me. It was a custom sword and I felt it in my hands, it had a perfect weight and it had a style that fit my tastes to it. He also slipped a key into my hand.
“Feel free to find me in my room if you want to train again…” he says and right when I was about to thank him I felt him peacefully asleep on my shoulder.
Sebek Zigvolt- 🐊
I had been walking around the halls intentionally looking for Sebek and surprisingly I haven't heard a single peep from him all day despite him usually shouting half the time. You decided to consult Lilia about Sebeks whereabouts and he mentioned that he was in the Equestrian Club and redirected me to the stables. I thank Lilia and make my way to the stables and spot Sebek riding a Brown stallion doing jumps and maneuvering around obstacles. I try to wave him down but he seems focused on his training, I notice silver nearby and wave him down and ask him to call Sebek over for me. Once I caught Sebeks attention he rides over to me with a curious look.
“What is it that you seek human? Can't you see I'm busy?” He says.
“Sebek I wanted to ask if you could teach me how to protect myself in case I get myself in another over blot! Maybe how to use a sword?” I begged leaning over the fence staring up at him.
“Are you manic human!? You can get yourself killed with such a close combat weapon especially if you possess no such magic, I shall teach you how to use a bow instead.” He says clutching onto the horse's reins, “perhaps it may be better to educate you while riding a horse… Very well! It seems that you seek knowledge from a great Fae such as myself, follow me!” He says as he walks the horse to the stables and I meet up with him there to find him still seated on his horse.
“Which horse am I allowed to borrow?” I ask and Sebek points me to a white stallion.
“That one should suffice, make haste and hop on.” I walk over to it and it has quite a high stature, I attempt to climb on and end up slipping. Sebek sighs and gives me an aggravated look and waves me over.
“It seems that the stallion may not be the best fit due to its high stature,” He pauses as if contemplating something, “Very well you may ride with me.” He hops off the horse and holds out his hand to help me up, I take his hand and he instructs me to set a foot on the foot hold and grab onto the saddle to hoist myself up.
“Do try not to worry, I am holding onto you, securing you from falling off” He says and I hoist another leg over the horse, Sebek unknowingly rests his hand on my waist.
“I have to ride with you on this horse, my apologies, my horse doesn't take well with people riding on him other than me.” He effortlessly hoists himself onto the horse behind me grabbing the reins and doing a light kick signaling the horse to move. The ride is light compared to how fast I was seeing him earlier on the horse, he must be riding light in consideration of me. We stopped by Silver who was entering the stables and Sebek asked him to pass him a bow and a bag of arrows in which Silver obliges. He takes me out of the main stable area with the bag and bow, we make a sudden stop and I almost fall over and Sebek reacts quickly holding onto my waist with one hand and still controlling the horse with the other.
“This spot should suffice.” He pulls out the bow and aims at a nearby tree, “Follow how I set up my posture and how I aim the arrow.” he states and effortlessly shoots straight at the tree, I stare in awe and he hands me the weapon and instructs me.
“Remember how I had instructed you earlier, my arrow in the tree is your bullseye,” I nod and aim and make the shot which hits way below his arrow, he sighs and takes the bow from my hands and uses his other hand to guide where my hands should be on the bow. I blush at the contact.
“I fear you humans are slow learners, like this.” Where my hands are on the bow, his hands cover guiding me, his head rests on my shoulder to get a clear perspective of where I should aim.
“When I remove my hands let the arrow go alright?” He says in my ear and I nod, he removes his hands and rests them on my waist. My breath gets caught in my throat and I fuck up the aim once more but thanks to his instructions I made it a little bit closer to where the bulls eye was, he sighs.
“A little better but you still need to work on it,” He digs in his pocket and clears his throat blushing holding it out to me, it was a green broach with a key.
“My… My mother sent this to me and requested that I gift it to my significant other-!” He blurts out blushing furiously, “She stated it was for a special day you humans celebrate called Valentines day. So I shall wish you a Happy Valentine's Day.” He clearly builds up more courage to say the next part.
“The key is also free entry to my dorm room. If you seek more tutoring from myself I tend to lock myself in it studying.” He says.
“Thank you…” I smile and he shakes his head and stays silent.
“Best we call it a day.” He states and takes me back to the stables.
A/N: First time posting something like this on Tumblr so please go easy on me, I do have a Wattpad with a similar display name. Also sorry for the clear favoritism, I tried my best to keep them in character and I struggled writing for a select few of the characters so apologies to the fans of the characters I wrote so little for. My last words are I'm going into hibernation as I've been writing this for two days I fear. Anyways thanks for reading this ridiculously long fic!
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justleaveacommentfest ¡ 2 days ago
Note
Not an ask, but a story about leaving comments -- not long ago, I left a comment on a fic from almost 10 years ago where the author, in their end notes, discussed how proud they were to have finished this fic (it was an incredible fic that was over 100,000 words long because they're a god and I would also just be shaky in the knees if I accomplished something so long and profound); and they also talked in their author's note how strange it was to be the ages of 22-24 when they were writing this fic and how things weren't always easy, and that they hoped the future was bright for them.
I commented about my life, right now, how I came to find their fic a decade years later from when they finished (a little sheepishly, it feels weird to talk about yourself, but it felt important somehow) -- anyways, I also talked about how reading their author's note reminded me very much of how I felt right now, and how different the world is now from 2015, and how this fic made me feel all kinds of nostalgic and good and hopeful about growing older, and how my god they were this good at 22 and I hope they're still writing -- and even if not, I hope all these years later they really are in a better place.
They replied. They replied! I was so delighted! They are indeed in their thirties! and they are indeed still writing! Things haven't gone as expected, but they've got a healthier dose of perspective on life and how to cope with the hard times now. And it was just so heartwarming to hear and learn about them. And to know that they're still around!
Just seeing that, seeing these people who write about hard times nine years ago, and leaving a comment and getting a reply, it just brings so much hope. Because you never know! You never know if someone's still going to be here, and so when they are it's kind of a-- not a miracle, but it just feels like I'm suddenly so very aware of my existence in the world and theirs too and it just -- it MATTERS. And ao3 and fanfiction in general is so unique to most media where you stare at a television or read a book, you can engage with the creator of that thing you're reading RIGHT THEN AND THERE. And you may not get a reply, or you might get this touching response that lets you feel like you're less alone in the world. It's worth the chance, right? That's what building community and stuff is all about! You can make so many friends this way!
And even if they never reply, don't you want them to know how important their story was to you? And it doesn't matter if the story was finished a decade ago or just posted yesterday, there's still a person that's there that gets to see how their art made an impact on the world. I've made a couple of friends doing this -- and even if I'm not making a friend, I hope I make someone's day a little brighter. God knows I'm always delighted whenever someone comments on my fics.
I admit I'm not perfect -- I don't always comment on fics that I read. I'm trying to be better, I've got a list of fics that I definitely should have written a comment on that I've been going through and writing out how I feel about their writing because damn people are just so talented. This wasn't for just leave a comment fest, I admit, but I do love to see your blog and your drive because it is such an important thing for writers.
I didn't know you were doing a valentines day thing, but what a great idea! I wanted to share my experience, hopefully inspire some other people to go out and comment, and now I'm going to go check another fic off my list of ones that I'd like to comment on. Better late than never!
Have a great day! and Happy Valentine's Day Just Leave a Comment Mini Fest!
I AM HOOTING AND HOLLERING I AM PLAYING THE XYLOPHONE ON MY RIB CAGE WHAT A STORY!!!! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL CONNECTION TO HAVE MADE THROUGH COMMENTS!!! WHAT A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL EXPERIENCE TO HAVE HAD!!
ANON THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS HAS MADE THIS SKELETON'S DAY
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hyunjins-orange-slice-too ¡ 2 days ago
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i want to use the word ‘love’
pairing: changbin x fem reader
genre: fluff, friends to lovers
warnings: crying, breakups, pet names (bun and bubs), very brief mentions of violence, she/her pronouns used, guest appearances by channie and jisung, no smut- just some kissing :)
an: it’s finally here! this is what won the poll and i’m so excited about it. i wanted to post it sooner, but it’s the longest thing ive written in a while and it took some time lol i hope you like it :) happy valentine’s day. you are loved ♡
masterlist
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you waited outside on the curb for him to pick you up. it was just starting to get dark and you could see the sun setting behind the buildings. the concrete was cold on your bare legs, your dress only coming to mid thigh. but you couldn’t stand anymore, your feet throbbing from your shoes. you stared down and the pavement, pushing a pebble around with your finger as you sniffled. you had mostly stopped crying once changbin said he was on his way. your heart was still shattered, but somehow, knowing that he was coming made you feel better. though you were sure you still looked crazy to anyone who may be passing by. if you thought about it too much, how stupid you look and feel, a fresh wave of tears fills your waterline. so you try to think about something else.
you try, and you fail.
all you can think about is his stupid smile. how he made you feel so loved. so.. important. until he invited you to dinner tonight, only to dump you before you had even finished your salad. your eyes welled up again.
“fuck..” you said to yourself, voice watery. you threw the pebble, watched it skitter across the street as a car pulled up and parked a few feet from you. you recognized that car.
the door opened and changbin got out, rushing to your side. “are you okay?” he was crouching next to you, holding you at arms length, assessing you for injuries like you told him you were in a car crash or something. “look at me.” he put his fingers under you chin and turned your face up to him. “oh.. y/n..” his heart broke when he saw your tear stained cheeks, your red puffy eyes and running mascara. he did his best to wipe your tears with his fingers. “what happened?”
you were so relieved to see him. he was the person who was closest to you, the one you would trust with anything. that’s why he was your first thought when you needed someone to come save you. but as comforted as you were by his presence, getting dumped still really hurt. and the tears returned with his question. they spilled down your cheeks and over his fingertips. “he..” you hiccuped. “he dum-dumped me.” you struggled to get the words out, changbins sweet face and thick frame glasses blurring through your watery eyes.
he was suddenly filled with rage. how dare he dump you and then leave you stranded and crying? heartbroken and no way to get home? he wanted to track him down and give him a few swings for treating you this way.
he would never treat you this way
that thought had been crossing his mind recently. every time you found some new loser to date only to be left heartbroken a few weeks later. though, this asshole had lasted the longest, managing to stay around for six or so months. and changbin wanted to beat some sense into him. or just punch him until he felt better. but, you needed him right now. so he pushed aside the thoughts of violence, the thoughts of sticking up for you, the thoughts of treating you the way you deserved to be treated. he pushed all of those thoughts deep down and helped you up off the curb. you stood on shaky legs and he noticed that your feet were bare, your shoes discarded on the sidewalk.
he sighed at your recklessness. he looked at you, and then your shoes on the ground. “my feet hurt..” you said, your voice still broken.
“prince bin?” he asked, though it was more of a statement than a question. he bent over and grabbed your shoes, handing them to you. and then he scooped you up. one of his arms behind your shoulders and one of them under your legs, he carried you in his arms and placed you down into the passenger seat of his car, careful not to hit your head. he was used to doing this, though he hadn’t done it in a while. you liked to go out with your friends occasionally, have some drinks, and changbin would always come and scoop you up when you were too wasted to walk to the car. you drunkenly called him a prince one evening, (though he thought you probably meant knight) and the title kind of stuck. he thought ‘prince’ was an apt title, considering the way he held you was technically called a princess carry.
but as changbin started the engine and pulled from the curb, he thought it was more like a.. bridal carry. and that made him smile.
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about a month had passed since that night and not much had changed. you still went on random dates, with random guys, just searching for the one who would make you feel special. the one who would treat you like you were the most important thing in the world. that’s all you wanted. you just wanted to feel loved. to have silly little inside jokes, and hold hands, and have fake arguments about who loves who more. but so far all you’ve found are assholes and idiots. sometimes both at the same time.
“i think im going to take a break from dating.”
changbin rolled his eyes, grabbing the popcorn from the microwave and dumping it into a bowl. he returned back to where you were on the couch, drowning in a fuzzy blanket. “i’ve heard that one before.”
“no, bin, i’m serious this time. fuck all these guys.”
“you say that but you’ll swoon at the next cute guy that looks your way.” he laughed.
“i just want to find my person.” you said, a little defensive. “there’s nothing wrong with that.”
he immediately felt bad for his comment. he was just kidding. but he knew this was a sensitive topic for you right now. “i know, bubs. i didn’t mean anything. i’m just teasing.”
you let out a loud exhale. “i know, bin. i’m just frustrated with all of it. when will it be my turn? you know?”
he nodded. oh he knew too well. he often had the same thought. when would it be his turn? his turn to take you out. to kiss your cheek. to hold your hand. “you’ll find your person.” he said, looking down at the popcorn. you couldn’t see the sadness in his eyes in the darkly lit room, but you could pick up on his vibe.
“you’ll find your person too, you know.” you said, nudging his large bicep with your elbow. “i know you’ve been single for a long time, and your job is demanding, and it’s difficult with valentine’s day coming up-“
“gee thanks, y/n. you’re really making me feel better.”
you both giggled. “i mean it though!” you smiled. “you’ll find your person. i know it.”
and he smiled back at you, knowing in his heart he had already found his person. he had found you a long time ago. but you hadn’t found him yet.
he threw a piece of popcorn at you. it bounced off your cheek and landed somewhere in the blanket. “hey!” you giggled, reaching for the bowl. but he held it out of your reach. you struggled against him, trying to reach for some retaliation popcorn but it was no use.
“bubs, i don’t know why you’re throwing popcorn.” he teased, laughing. “we’re adults. let’s watch the movie.”
“you were throwing popcorn! not me!” giggling, you returned to your spot, pulling the blanket up around your middle. “i want some popcorn too.” you pouted, pressing play on the movie.
“ah.. see i don’t know if i can trust you not to throw it at me.” he grinned.
“you started it!”
“i don’t recall that.” he smirked. he grabbed a few pieces of popcorn and held them up to your mouth. “open.” he said.
and you didn’t know why, but you felt his words in your tummy. they grew wings and fluttered around, flushing your cheeks. you did as he asked and opened your mouth. he dropped the pieces in and smiled, before facing back toward the movie, shoveling popcorn into his own mouth.
what was that? you wondered. why did that fluster you? you had been best friends with changbin for as long as you can remember. but you don’t remember ever feeling.. flustered around him? of course, you knew he was attractive. the man was so incredibly handsome. there was no denying that. and he was funny and sweet. but you never allowed yourself to go there. never wanting to ruin the friendship you had built with him. but.. this was a new development. you tried to shove it down, tried to forget about it and enjoy your movie night. he held another handful of popcorn up to your lips, dropping them in. you chewed, happily. feeling content but also, warm. his body radiating heat. you scooted a little closer to him, as much as you dared, your knee touching his thigh.
he fed you some more popcorn as he tried not to hyperfixate on where your bodies were touching. he tried to relax, play it cool, but his heart was hammering.
you eventually fell asleep, as you always do during movies, your head falling against changbins shoulder. as the credits rolled he looked down at you, admiring you from this awkward angle. your long eyelashes tickled your cheeks. his hand found yours under the blanket, but he didn’t grab it. didn’t try to interlock your fingers. he just gently brushed his pinky against yours, enjoying the moment. but it didn’t last as long as he would have liked.
you made a confused noise as you stirred awake. you lifted your head from his shoulder, rubbing sleep out of your eyes. your hair was standing up, your cheeks puffy. “did i..” you yawned. “did i fall asleep?”
“you always fall asleep during movies.”
“sorry, bin. i was just so comfortable i guess.” you stretched your arms out in front of you, your lazy gaze looking over at him.
he started at you for a moment, before..
“you’re so cute.”
it just fell out of his mouth. and it wasn’t the worst thing he could have said. it wasn’t a full on love confession, but he definitely said it in a way that suggested he wanted to be more than friends. he internally chastised himself.
the butterflies returned to your tummy, still confusing you. you looked away, out of embarrassment, struggling with these new feelings you were having for your best friend. were they new feelings? or were you just now allowing yourself to feel what you had been feeling all along? you didn’t know.
changbin cleared his throat. “i should get going.” he said. “it’s late. i have practice in the morning and you need some sleep.”
you nodded sleepily, and stood to walk him out. you crossed your arms over you chest, suddenly cold without the blanket or his body heat. you dreaded crawling into your cold bed and the thought crossed your mind that it wouldn’t be so cold if changbin was there with you. you blinked hard, clearing the thought from your brain. at the door, he hugged you like always, mumbling a “g’night bubs.” into your hair.
you waved goodbye to him and latched the door shut behind him. your apartment felt dark and cold and lonely without him. and it made you sad. you pulled yourself in between your ice cold sheets and tried not to think about changbins arms wrapped around you.
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“so you just like, dropped popcorn into her mouth?”
changbin nodded. “yeah and i’m surprised she couldn’t see my hand shaking.” he smiled then, remembering. “you should have seen her face though. she’s never blushed like that because of me.”
“so maybe it’s time to tell her..?” chan sing-songed while tickling changbins sides.
“what if it ruins everything, hyung?”
changbin lounged on the couch in the practice room, his sweat soaked shirt sticking to his body. he took a drink from his water bottle, swatting chan’s hands away, catching his breath.
“it’s time to finally do something.” chan said. “if it doesn’t work out, then you’ll know and can move on. instead of pining over her for the rest of your life, yeah?”
“i guess so.” changbin ran his hands through his hair. “im just so scared.”
“y/n is your best friend. even if she doesn’t feel the same way, she wouldn’t stop being your best friend. she’s not like that.”
changbin nodded. “you’re right. i just need to get on with it.”
he noticed jisung giggling over his phone in the corner and started to ask him what was so funny, but minho called practice back together before he could.
they both stood, chan patted changbin on the back. “you’re seo changbin. you’re spearB! you can do anything.”
changbin scoffed. “that was cheesy, hyung.”
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it was the dreaded day. valentine’s day. you obviously didnt have a boyfriend to spend it with, and you didn’t really have friends to spend it with either. they all had their own relationships. all except for changbin. but with your budding new feelings, you were worried to spend it with him.
but none of that really mattered because you hadn’t heard from him? you had texted him this morning, right before you clocked in for work. and you checked it on your lunch break and there was nothing. and now it was time to head home and you were a little disappointed when you saw no notifications. but you tried not to let it get to you. he does have a very busy and demanding job. but you couldn’t help the thoughts creeping in that maybe he noticed your strange behavior last night. maybe he was worried you were attracted to him and he was pulling away. it made your stomach hurt to think about it.
but the whole way home you couldn’t help but think about it. by the end of your bus ride, you were physically ill. you had convinced yourself that you had ruined everything. that he didn’t want to be your friend anymore because he thought you were into him and that scared him. you had ruined an entire friendship spanning years and years because you couldn’t control yourself around his popcorn? you thought you may cry.
approaching your apartment, you noticed your welcome mat was crooked. the message said “welcome-ish” in swirling font and underneath that in parentheses said “depends on who you are and how long you plan to stay” though the print has faded over time. you kicked the mat back into place and slipped your key into the lock. clumsily opening the door, dragging your tired and depressed feet into the dark apartment. you toed off your shoes before flicking on the light.
and that’s when you saw him.
changbin stood in the middle of your living room, in a black button down shirt with matching black silk tie. his black slacks looking freshly pressed. his black dress shoes freshly shined. he was standing next to a table that he had set up, complete with two chairs, tablecloth, and lit candles. the entire ceiling was filled with red and pink heart shaped balloons, their curly strings cascading down. he held a small bundle of roses in his hands and he looked incredibly nervous. so handsome, but nervous.
“changbin..?” you quietly asked, stepping further into the apartment.
he cleared his throat. “uh.. hey bun.”
he brought one of his hands up to his ear, tugging on his earlobe. a nervous tick of his that he’s had the entire time you’ve known him.
you waited, staring, unsure of what to say or what was even going on and honestly, all you could think about was how handsome he looked and how you looked awful. your work clothes stained and dirty, your hair a matted mess on top of your head.
“i think i probably have some explaining to do.” he said. “well, i have a confession to make i guess.”
your heart started beating irregularly in your chest. was this what people meant when they say their heart ‘skipped a beat’?
you walked closer to him, noticing now the smell in your apartment. it smelled good. your stomach rumbled.
“these are for you..” he held the roses out and you took them from him. they really were beautiful. they were pink and smelled like spring time.
you started to thank him but he cut you off. “i just.. i need to get this out first before i chicken out.” he said.
“my apartment is filled with heart shaped balloons, bin. i think it’s too late to change your mind now.” you joked. he chuckled, your teasing seemingly making him feel a little bit better.
“i guess you’re right.” he smiled. “i.. like you.” he reached out and delicately took the flowers from you, placing them on the table. and then he took your hands in his and looked into your eyes. his hands were sweaty and shaking slightly, so you gave them a reassuring squeeze. “no, like isn’t the right word.” he paused, thinking. “i want to use the word love, but i don’t want to scare you.” his eyes softened. “but bun.. that’s what it feels like. and i’ve felt this way for so long now. i don’t think i can stand to see you cry over another idiot guy who doesn’t deserve you. who doesn’t treat you right. i’ve been silent because i didn’t want to ruin what we have. you’re my best friend in the whole world and i would never want to jeopardize that.” he swallowed and took a deep breath. “but, i love you bubs.” he exhaled, feeling relieved at finally saying it out loud to you. “i want to be the one to take you out. to hold your hand, and to cuddle you at night. i know i can treat you the way that you deserve to be treated. if.. if you’ll have me.”
“bin..” you reached up and grabbed his face between your palms. “i wish you would have told me sooner. maybe.. maybe if you would have said something before, it wouldn’t have taken me so long to realize that.. i love you too.” you smiled.
his face absolutely lit up. his eyes went wide and his smile grew large. “really?” he asked, feeling like he was dreaming. like he needed to make sure he heard you correctly. you nodded, tears welling up in your eyes. “say it again.” he said.
“i love you, bin.”
he grabbed you around your waist and lifted you off the ground, spinning you in a soft circle. “again!” he giggled.
“i love you!” you giggled back.
he sat you on your feet and looked into your eyes again. he tucked your hair behind your ear and stroked your cheek with his thumb. “you have no idea how long i’ve been waiting to hear that. but..” he tilted his head back and forth, thinking. his lips in a smirk. “i love you more.”
“not true!” you argued.
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“wait, you cooked?”
he chuckled. “i tried. i hope it tastes okay.”
you stuck your fork in the pasta, bringing it to your mouth. “i thought you only cooked for sustenance. wait, does this spaghetti have protein powder in it?”
he stuck his tongue out at you from across the small table. “very funny. just try it. i wanted to try cooking for you. i need to know if i should never do it again.”
you took a bite, chewing slowly. it was actually really good. “binnie, this is delicious.”
his shoulders relaxed and he took a bite of his own. “wow, it’s not terrible.” he said, chuckling. “i didn’t know i could do that.”
you ate your meal and sipped on some wine and talked about your day, just like normal. turns out, he hadn’t been answering your texts because he had been here setting all of this up. he used the spare key that you kept under your mat to let himself in. he said it took forever to blow up all the balloons and he was worried you would come home to find him passed out on the floor, surrounded by half filled balloons. only then did he discover that they only floated if they were filled with helium. so then he had to figure that out. and it took him even longer to cook the pasta, really working hard to make sure it was right. and he used your shower to wash up (if you thought about that for too long it made you squirmy) and he put on his nice clothes. then he says he waited in ‘a state of panic’ for you to finally come home.
“i can’t believe you did all of this for me.” you said, leaning back in your chair, sipping your wine.
“i wanted you to know how special you are to me.” he stood up and grabbed your plate, taking them both to the sink. he rolled up the sleeves of his button up, exposing his muscular forearms. you weren’t sure if it was the wine, but you had plenty of thoughts about those forearms. he began washing the dishes, the sound of running water filling the apartment. you finished your wine and brought it to the sink, sitting it on the counter next to the dirty cutlery. you looked at him, admiring his appearance. he really filled out his shirt nicely. it was spread tightly against his broad chest, the buttons barely hanging on.
“bun, you’re staring.” he smirked.
“sorry. you just look.. so good.” you confessed. “plus, i can openly stare now without fear of making you uncomfortable. it’s not.. making you uncomfortable, is it?” you pulled your eyes away from his biceps and looked up to his eyes. he was smiling, the tips of his ears a light pink.
“i don’t mind if you look. want me to take the shirt off and flex?”
your jaw fell open, your core pulsed. “don’t tease about that.”
he turned the water off and dried his hands with the towel. he walked over and touched your cheek again, cupping it in his palm. his eyes were darker now, and his thumb grazed across your bottom lip. “i’m not teasing.” he said, his voice low.
you thought your knees may give out. you grabbed his arms, steadying yourself. you had never seen this side of him before. had never seen him flirt and be so.. sexy. he leaned down, his nose brushing against yours, your erratic breath mingling with his. he waited.
“binnie..” you exhaled. “kiss me.”
he slowly brought his lips to yours, placing a delicate kiss on your lips. it started off slow and sweet but soon became a little more heated when he slipped his tongue into your mouth. you brought your hands up around his neck, tangling them in his hair. he kissed down your jaw and to your neck, licking and nibbling at the soft skin there. you threw your head back, panting. “bin.. let’s go to my room?” you phrased it as a question because you didn’t want him to feel pressured. after all, he had only confessed his feelings for you an hour ago. you didn’t want him to feel like things were moving too fast.
but he immediately bent down and scooped you up in his arms. “prince bin.” he mumbled against your lips, carrying you through your apartment and to your bed.
and you smiled into the kiss, your heart so full you thought it may burst. if you thought about it too hard you were sure that you would start crying. because you knew.. you had found your person. and he had been here all along.
______๑♡⁠๑______ ______๑♡⁠๑______ ______๑♡⁠๑______
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↑ inspo for binnies valentines fit hehe ↑
♡ pls reblog if you liked it! it truly helps a lot and makes me smile :) ♡
Šhyunjins-orange-slice-too i do not give permission for this work or any of my work to be translated, copied, or reposted.
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yimpysdiner ¡ 2 days ago
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Ridiculously long analysis of Jimmy's dialogue
Jimmy is one of the most fascinating characters that's ever caught my eye, which is why I think the watering down of his character to "comically evil villain whose always snappy and overtly aggressive" is a little lame. Not only is it lame, it misses the point of his character entirely. I enjoy delving into him so what did I do? I went back through the game and took a screenshot of every single word he's ever spoken
Here I just wanna highlight some key character traits I think are often overlooked, his speech patterns, etc. This isn't gonna be some grand important theory thing or whatever, just looking at key points of his personality that I think often get lost when people are writing him. It's important to my lil hyperfixated mind, alright? Alright. I'm gonna be breaking this down into a few sections.
Speech Patterns Humor Observant Mimicking? Lashing out Hopelessness Remorse I won't be going over a few obvious things that have been pointed out time and time again like him talking down to Anya so much, being a major asshole, etc, we all know already.
General Speech :
Jimmy's speech is almost always blunt and to the point, he doesn't spend a lot of time rambling like Daisuke, isn't quite as outwardly analytical like Anya, doesn't throw in a lot of sarcastic little jokes like Swansea. Funny enough, his speech is most comparable to Curly's. I'll get to that later. When irritated he starts making little jabs, gets all passive aggressive. It's only when he's really pissed or pressured does he start swearing excessively. A lot of his dialogue hinges on passive aggression, things you could maybe brush off but still makes you feel a little... off. I don't really have screenshots for this little portion, you'll see it as we go on.
Humor
Jimmy isn't entirely a drag. Sure, he never really seems like the "life of the party," but he has his moments. This is kind of a nothingburger section but I often see Jimmy written as just some miserable grimacing guy in the corner
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There's one more where you close utility when Daisuke is trapped in the foam and he says "much better." I couldn't find a playthrough where the player does this to get the screenshots but I have seen it be done before. It may be me over analyzing, but I think his sense of humor and general way of expressing happiness is very dry. It's not that he doesn't, it's simply that he's just not a very excitable person. He likes the little tradition of parties on Tulpar and jokes around with karaoke getting "violent." The sort of jokes he makes are probably all the sort of jokes you might just take seriously because he says it in such a flat tone, it's the kind of thing where you have to really *know* how he is to get.
So he's not exactly the person you're gonna see moping in the corner of a party because he hates it, he's moping because he's just not outwardly expressive in that respect, but he does seem to enjoy festivities and fooling around
Observant
Something I commonly see in writing is Jimmy not being able to read people's emotions or understand *how* exactly to get under people's skin. Jimmy's actually incredibly in tune with how people feel, what their intentions are, and how to use that to his advantage. He's very aware of what people may think of him, what they think of others and what they may even think of themselves. This also sort of ties in to people thinking he's dumb, while he's throwing out lines like this almost completely unprompted :
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The cockpit scene is incredibly important to understand him as a character. Rewatching it I was quite shocked *how* much of this was immediately taken and used against Curly in later scenes. A teensie bit of context is cut as to not make this post far longer than it already is, but I'll do my best to fill in gaps.
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Just this line here is interesting to me, while he senses Curly is unhappy in his position, he can't quite grasp why yet. This is after he says he enjoys where he is, he feels they are in control in this position.
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In this calmer environment, Jimmy is able to understand why Curly feels like this without much pushback, even able to open up to Curly a little saying he feels he's still climbing up that ladder after him, to which Curly provides comfort and encouragement. I think a lot is told about their relationship here but that's a story for another day.
Later on, every bit of this information Curly confided in him is flipped over on him in a fit of rage. Where he was once understanding and sympathetic, he's now twisted those words to make Curly seem like a villain in everyone else's eyes, which he continues to do over and over until judgement day. Every bit of info you give Jimmy is ammunition.
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It's crazy to put this side by side and see when given the chance, Jimmy will take whats a perfectly good fear and throw it right back at you and really twist the knife while he's at it.
Other examples of this is his paranoia over what the crew thinks of him, especially after seeing Swansea and Anya talking. This one's pretty self explanatory
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Next one I find pretty interesting, after Jimmy finds Daisuke on the floor crying about being a screw up and after seeing Swansea scold him for not being great at his job, he decides to turn that around on him as well.
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He is not only very aware Daisuke looks up to people in power but looks up to Swansea in specific. I dunno, I just thought that was interesting when I was looking back through everything. I know Jimmy's manipulation of Daisuke is super obvious and in your face but it just helps add to the whole point of Jimmy knows how to wriggle his way into people's minds, especially when they're vulnerable.
I've hit the image limit and I'm not even half way done, so, PART 2
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groggle ¡ 2 days ago
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I'm going to be open and vulnerable real quick
I am and always have been just not a good person. When I was younger, I didn't have the whole 'I feel bad for making another person feel bad' thing. Actually, a lot of times, I very much enjoyed making others feel small. I was a bully and a bad person. Making others feel bad made me feel big, strong, and important.
Nowadays, I still don't necessarily feel bad for my actions; I still rarely feel guilty. But I am a compassionate person to people I like. Sure, I am still not a good person by society's standards, but that doesn't matter to me.
The main point is, people change, grow, and mature
the thing is, if your younger self was a bigot or an abuser, u can't make people forgive you. but you still gotta forgive yourself, like that's non-negotiable, dude. that happens before u can even ask the question of earning forgiveness from anyone lese
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fumifooms ¡ 3 days ago
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Marcille and Chilchuck’s interwoven character arcs: the fantasy of prince charming, idealization vs pessimism and loss
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I’ve alluded to Marcille and Chilchuck being central to each other’s arcs so many times but the proper full analysis has been long overdue. I’ve made a post going into their differences and similarities and the many ways they’re foils for each other, but this is going to give more focus to a narrative rather than character angle this time around. We talk a lot about the importance of Marcille in Chilchuck’s arc, it's more obvious overall, but less so about Chilchuck’s importance in her own, so this is going to emphase on the latter. They have a lot of ridiculously unique conflict specific to their situation and world, and an intriguing dynamic. Relationships can be layered and subtext can imply quite a lot, the reality of things can be more complex than we'd like or hard to reconcile, and that's exactly what we're talking about today and how that is a lesson Marcille needed to learn. Give this a shot and look at the manga pages alongside my reading and decide for yourself whether I’ve got a point or I’m going overboard~!
So, Marcille and Chilchuck are character foils in many many ways, and I think a particularly brilliant part of their arc is how they balanced each other out on idealization. On one hand, idealizing things means only seeing what you want to see through rose-colored glasses, on the other, being completely opposed to it usually means denouncing any optimism at all, refusing to hold any good faith or hope. These stances reflect both their backgrounds, as Chilchuck has lived through being discriminated against and taken advantage of consistently, betrayed by employers and eventually the person supposed to be closest to him, his wife, meanwhile Marcille grew up more sheltered and lonely, and books were a big way through which she experienced social situations & the ways of the world in her rural home before going to the magic academy as a researcher and getting more actual life experience herself.
I think it’s especially interesting to analyze the trope of— the idealization of— the perfect chivalrous prince on a white horse who is pure hearted and will make you swoon, in the context of their relationship and their arcs! It’s a recurring motif- you’ll just have to trust me and read further~ Obviously this contains spoilers for the whole manga, so beware! It's very long because I'm trying to cover the topic fully from the ground up, my apologies.
Table of contents:
How they start out
The Daltian Clan and its importance
Prince Charming vs Chilchuck Tims
Ideals vs desires vs wants
Deconstructing realistic romance & compromising between romanticism and reality
Princess imagery in Marcille
Conclusion
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Let’s start with the beginning:
How the characters start off:
Their relationship is both familiar and strained (extra reading: analysis of their relationship pre-canon and early canon), they bounce off each other with the ease of coworkers who’ve been working together for two years and who share similar common sense. Because yes they’re both generally grounded and rational, and generally they respect each other’s input and perspective, but, they both have blind spots…
The biggest hurdle is the way Chilchuck refuses to open up. Marcille has made efforts to befriend him, and though he was open to developing a better workplace dynamic and, say, helping her out with shopping for a pouch outside of work, even if it ended up being counterproductive he’d refuse to even just say his age, let alone share anything about his family situation. Knowing he had kids and a wife would have pretty efficiently fully shut down that he was a kid, and yet he valued being closed off more. Chilchuck is often shown being pessimistic, assuming the worst intentions out of people and being wary of anything good happening, being the last person to trust something or someone, etc. (Quick summary analysis of him I made if you want here, beyond the character foil analysis I linked at the beginning.) He prefers assuming that opening up will only bring him problems to assuming that it'd bring about positive things.
Meanwhile Marcille is very… Honestly she’s hard to classify strongly. Because I could say she’s very open to people, but honestly it’s conditional? She emotes intensely but she’s not quite a befriending machine either, especially when we recall the magic academy days as well, she’s not unused to keeping people at some level of distance, herself keeping a lot of secrets too. She was very wary of Laios at first because she had misconceptions, she holds grudges and isn’t personable with everyone like Namari or Toshiro, when she’s introduced to the party she seems serious and doesn’t smile. While I don’t fully agree, there’s a good analysis not by me here showcasing what I’m talking about. Marcille’s more serious academic side often gets undermined and I think it’s an important part of her, but then the difference between her and Chilchuck comes down to theory vs practice: knowledge vs experience. I think something more fitting to say would be that she’s idealistic and easily swayed, for example the way she lights up whenever she can put a story-like twist on things, her mood can go from dread to hype and reverse in one second, like with riding a kelpie or with the conflict between Chilchuck and his wife, or again with Namari, where it becomes a sort of hero vs antagonist dynamic for her where justice and righteous thoughts should override everything else like needing money to live. She's very stubborn, like he is, but it's easier for her to come around in dramatic ways, on things big and small, mentioning for another example thinking better of orcs suddenly because they can cook well.
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So sure on first meeting she isn’t exactly eager, but then we do see her enthusiastically trying to befriend everyone! Becoming very friendly once she’s done assessing them. She is social, and fittingly she’s very curious about people. And that said, aesthetics do matter a lot to her, and I mean this beyond just enjoying vibes, for example- and follow along the lingo I'm setting up here- if something ‘breaks’ an aesthetic like Chilchuck or Falin not being a child she’ll willfully dismiss and ignore it, if she can spin something into a story like Chilchuck’s breakup she’ll get carried away, she can get the wrong impression, be gullible for the sake of believing a narrative, such and such. I’d say she’s guarded around people at first, but then with time becomes an open book emotions wise, how she’s always loudly and unapologetically talking about her feelings and emoting. She’s not reckless, rather she’s bold and often has to make decisions quickly, like when the plan unexpectedly changed during the red dragon fight, but things like using dark magic can feel like thoughtless decisions looking from the outside, like to Chilchuck, who as per his pessimism dictates he sees all of this in a negative light, assumes the worst: that she’s just ignorant, naive and reckless. She’s easily worried and discouraged but still always perseveres.
He's biased against mages and elves because of past experiences and he projects that onto Marcille. And it makes sense because good faith is dangerous to Chilchuck- for his feelings in relationships yes, but more concretely and important for his life at work, the way an old party of his was going to sacrifice him to succubi for easy money. Like the way he constantly puts his non-work values down to the group so they don’t have high expectations of him, having high expectations for someone else is vulnerability he doesn’t want to or cannot afford. The result however is that he, too, put people into boxes to avoid having his preconceived notions challenged. He's very judgemental, which we see with Laios as well, and even with Izutsumi in the ice golem chapter, but by then he's learned to self-reflect more and be honest with his feelings due to Leed, meaning his social conflicts get resolved more often and more quickly, again like with Izutsumi in the ice golem chapter.
So in the end, there are things that stand in the way of them having true, equal respect for one another. She sees him as a kid despite everything else (being capable and mature, etc etc), and he sees her as a ticking bomb of a naive elf mage who’s gonna get herself into legal trouble if she doesn’t get them killed first.
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And it takes an arc spanning the whole manga for them to get there, to truly see each other on equal footing, culminating with the bicorn chapter.
I'm going to be mentioning them a lot so in my mind, the most important Marcille & Chilchuck arc defining scenes happen in: mandrake chapter, mimic chapter, shapeshifter chapter, hypogriff soup chapter, changelings, bicorn, succubus, and Marcille dungeon lord. We're talking mostly about Marcille's discrimination and their narrative about loss here, but on the end of Chilchuck's discrimination the dark magic plot is very central so honorable mention to the red dragon chapters, the harpies chapter and the cockatrice chapter, the latter where Chilchuck airs out his beef particularly directly.
Interestingly enough, the mandrake chapter which is in VERY early manga, where characters and dynamics are still being set up, Marcille gets Chilchuck to say that she isn't a burden and that he's glad they have her and her skillset with them, so the question of "does he respect her at all" was answered before the audience could even think to ask it, and Marcille also makes statements shortly after showing she respects him in turn- more on that later. This has for a result that we do know there's a foundation of respect here, even when as said it's not complete... yet.
So let’s get into it! Early on we already get a lot instances hinting at their opposed core values of optimism vs pessimism. It’s perfectly summarized in the two panel excerpts opening this post: "Sounds romantic!" "Sounds fishy.", hope vs wariness. "Meeting you was fate!" "… Which means it’s fate for you to eat these monsters, too!", if good things happening to you is fate then you must accept that all the bad things that happen to you are fate as well. It’s "Things will work out!" vs "Things will not work out".
The issue here seems rather evident, it’s a balancing game. Compromising, adapting your judgement to the situation. Yes Marcille romanticizes things too much and it can cause her trouble, and yes Chilchuck being so closed off on himself gets him into trouble as well.
(Not telling there was a mimic nearby being maybe the most straightforward example.)
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His refusal to hope for anything good happening to him ever is at the core of him not having even tried reconciling with his wife (more on that later with the bicorn chapter). Through the manga, Chilchuck influences her to be more savvy and to respect boundaries more (with himself and Namari for example), while she influences him to become more open and give things a go. It’s no coincidence that it’s Marcille that pushes him to try reconciling with his wife and gives him hope that it just might work out- that that chance even on its own means it's worth giving it a shot.
The Daltian Clan & its importance
The importance of fiction in some people's lives and their specific psychological relationship to it is a very complex human brain topic with many many studies and an infinite amount of subtleties, I can't possibly do justice to this section at its full potential but I'll go over my major points. But the complex and layered nature of this relationship is why, for example, the interpretation that Marcille is a lesbian despite her likely attraction/love for male fictional characters (if not even just simping or stanning separate from those), has legs to stand on and is a compelling angle!
The Daltian Clan, often shortened as Dalclan, is Marcille's favorite book series and is very very personally important to her. In an extra we learn that part of it is that seeing a half-elf character personally reached out to her and meant a lot. She feels seen through it. Even if it's notable that the half-elf haracter isn't her favorite, general Hagreus, but the one with black hair. It's a Cinderella type of romance & convoluted political intrigue series full with a lot of drama, reminiscent of stuff like Romeo & Juliette or Richard III.
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I believe that books were developmentally very important for her, similarly as to how cartoons are important to the education and development of toddlers and kids nowadays, or how oral stories like fairytales have always been important to teach lessons. Fiction engages readers and provides emotional stimulation, which can often be a flawed substitute for actual human contact- but nonetheless a big factor in socialization. For Marcille who lived in a rather rural region surrounded by books and chickens, who couldn't fit in with kids of any age around, books were a major part of teaching her how to socialize, how people and social groups worked. This is also part of why the autistic Marcille angle can be very compelling and plausible, though personally I don't see it that way.
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So yes I think that sort of upbringing shaped her a lot, and I think it's part of why Marcille has trouble not putting people into boxes... Why even though Falin assured her it wasn't like that, Marcille had made this whole narrative in her mind painting Laios as a villain that stole Falin away against her will/for nefarious purposes. Why she has trouble not thinking of/treating Falin as a kid, unwilling to process how she has grown up. Why Chilchuck has to be very young in her mind, and it was very very hard for her to reconcile the fact that he wasn't. (It's actually interesting to note that Marcille treats Falin and Chilchuck similarly in a lot of ways, overstepping boundaries, being dimissive and touchy- There's a lot to say about how the party dynamic changed a lot with during canon it becoming just Laios, Marcille and Chilchuck at first and Laios' monster interest reveal, notably that in Falin's absence that she may have latched onto Chilchuck and treats him similarly to Falin may be her finding it omforting to fall into habits or filling a hole.) I think complexity in fictional characters gets her gears turning, but there's always a film of impersonality to it right, where it's not real, there's a safe distance, if you want to form romantic narratives about how things went down and a character's angst, you can, but someone who’s real… Things are often uglier or harder to grapple with. And she doesn’t want Falin to have grown up, for her to so quickly have aged. I think applying this sort of storybook veneer onto her real life connections, pushing people into boxes, is a way for her to make social relationships more digestible. And she's a big gossip enjoyer too! Engaging in shallow retellings of people's interpersonal drama, eating it up with enthusiasm and curiosity. Part of it, like with novels, is vicariously living through others I think, experiencing making connections where she hasn't or couldn't, the way her relationship with the other girls at the academy besides Falin stayed distant and shallow despite being friendly. Gossip, like stories, are safe, distant from your own life, they're easy to judge, not unlike the irl popular interest in following others’ online drama. You’re not involved yourself, so you don’t have as much chance of getting hurt. So yes, easier to digest. Less complex, less unpleasant things and less contradictions that are hard to process. Sort of like a defense mechanism to not have your worldview challenged, dodging having to recognize these things by assigning them tropes. And I think part of it too like I implied is: she can’t experience actual loss through books and gossip. They give her emotional social stimulation she doesn’t fully allow herself to have with actual humans for fear of getting invested in a way that’s very raw and personal. Again, like how she pushes Falin away to ignore the more nuanced facets to their relationship! The intensity of what I’m speculating on here in her character is debatable but I do think it’s present at least in some amount.
In a similar way to dogs being important to Laios’ social life (I made something of an analysis on that if you're interested, but this one's not relevant to what I'm talking about in this post) books are her comfort zone. If she can compare a real situation to a story it brightens everything and, well, it does make her assume things wrongly often but it also makes her able to analyze people deeply, like the roleplay-theory-speculation about Chilchuck's wife and the way she hit bullseye on how Chilchuck felt in the aftermath. But like how Marcille only agreed to wear the frog suit when the party told her it'd look cute on her, or how thinking about riding on kelpies made her excited for what previously she saw as a tedious and dreadful journey. Special interest power blast.
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And this is where comes in her coworker, a disillusioned embittered man.
A guy who knows all about how messed up the world & people can be and isn't afraid to say it how it is, who in every sphere of life has field experience rather than fictional one- with romance, work, and having dreams & ambitions. Someone flawed and real, someone who won't let her interpret him however she wants without confronting her about it & challenging her to change her perspective.
It took a looot for Marcille to fully stop seeing him as a kid, and in a way I think it was necessary for the dissonance to be both this hard to reconcile and this impossible to ignore: that he truly is a middle-aged man down to his demeanor and family background but that he looks like a teen at most to her. That she literally has to look beyond aesthetics to be able to first fathom then accept and internalize that he's an adult despite his looks. That it was so ingrained and took so long, so much that even while she recognized and said "He's usually the most mature one of us", so much that even as it's implied that she knew logically he's an adult before the changelings, as pictured earlier she still couldn't conceive it. It's like with her calling Laios and Falin's parents kids in a post-canon extra, it's not that she doesn't know it's that it's hard to wrap her head around. Necessary and important because, if Chilchuck was any less loud about being a man she could have gone on unchallenged in her assumptions. If it was an easier to dismantle misconception, something easier to digest, then her arc of coming to see him as he is would have had less impact on her character, afterwards she could continue to run with her own interpretations of people like Falin and Namari without her confidence in being able to pin down people into simple roles being so fundamentally shaken. And it's notable too, that Namari's choice to leave the party to look out for herself situation was decidedly unheroic, but it was Chilchuck who spoke to Marcille about why her decision was both reasonable and had a lot of thought behind it, making her accept that it doesn't make Namari a bad person or even a bad coworker or friend.
Chilchuck is someone who knows that sometimes, bad things happen for no reason, and it's not meaningful or part of a grand narrative, it just sucks and you have to deal with it.
As the foil to her very emotional black and white interpretations of things, Chilchuck represents nuance, and he's impossible for her to ignore.
Prince Charming vs Chilchuck Tims
Chilchuck is so obviously not a prince charming. He doesn't have the looks, the attitude nor the lifestyle. Does he have the virtues for it? Well, no... But also, yes. More on that in a bit. It's also interesting to think of the status aspect to it, because being from an impoverished oppressed class/community is so central to Chilchuck's character, something usually far removed from prince charmings and white knights, and not only status wise but on the topic of virtues... It’s an interesting thread to explore, the way one may have the means to remain chivalrous rather than becoming distrustful and embittered: sometimes optimism is a sign of privilege, being able to be or remain optimistic through life. I'm sure Marcille would be the first to jump onto the aesthetic and narrative allure of a pauper in love with a princess, of a hero of the people à la Robin Hood, but it's still interesting to think of that as another facet of the contrast Chilchuck makes. Alright, tangent done.
But obviously, despite this all they have a great work dynamic and respect for each other's capabilities. It's not like Marcille is mean to people who don't fit these fairytale high standards, no that’s only when she feels wronged or if there's injustice, rather she becomes dismissive of people’s complexity, wether they become an angel like Falin or Marcille’s shapeshifter of Chilchuck or a villain like Namari and Toshiro or Laios when they met. But my point, my point: she actually thinks very highly of him!
"He’s usually the most mature one of us" "He’s dependable, we’re counting on him" "No, chilchuck is definitely virtuous."
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And I think the ways in which that shows are very interesting.
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^ Ok so this happens, in the Namari chapter I keep talking about. Look at his expression in this last panel. He's always teasing her, but doesn't this here feels a bit... Suggestive? Like he's implying things, not just talking about it in a work setting but also giving her general life advice. Maybe even making an innuendo for womanizers, gentlemen who flirt without meaning a thing and have some hidden agenda. Warning her about smooth talkers that seem too good to be true. It’s honestly a very easy to overlook but defining interaction for them. It’s a quote that’s on his Adventurer’s Bible plus his anime quote keychain merch!
I love his implication that "I say what I’m about straight up, money, so you can trust me"- and isn’t that just the exact thing… Because that is what this is, he’s pitting himself against these people who help without asking for anything and he's saying he’s more trustworthy and reliable than them, driving a wedge between him and those people to prop himself up by comparison. His words tie a lot here into his general worldview too, of course here he's ✨Imparting His Wisdom✨, but it also ties into his self-image issues I'd say, where he’s hard on himself and calls himself a coward etc: if no one has positive expectations for you on an interpersonal level, then you can’t disappoint them. It only goes up from here if you start at rock bottom, can't have unpleasant surprises.
But the meaningfulness of this moment doesn't start and end there: That moment happened in chapter 20, but then this happens in chapters 36-37...
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I was always puzzled by the split second interaction between Marcille and Kabru. Marcille blushing is the point, it’s in the anime too and it’s the focus of the panel. That moment of hesitation before she goes back into business mode where she looks at him back, and blushes. And idk I always felt like it was weird timing, like it was a weird beat Kui chose to put emphasis on, why the story even had them make eye contact in the first place, what point it could be making besides "Kabru is handsome and charismatic" which was already made with Hien and Benichidori below, otherwise it's not even like Marcille and Kabru ever interact. Like, maybe it's for it to be a callback when she glances at him while the canaries interrogate her at Thistle's house? Regardless, she blushes, but her expression is more akin to a "Uuhh he smiled at me why’d he smile at me like that. Oh he’s kinda pretty. Well anyways-" rather than swooning or truly checking him out. She’s frowning, even. And like I said, being very naturally charming was a point already made previously.
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But then… This repeated reminder that Kabru is a lady killer IS the point, Marcille reacting to him in that way IS the point. Kabru is the epitome of ‘will say they help you but has hidden motives and might betray your trust if it serves their interest’ (not a diss on him tbf he has understandable goals), he is the epitome of looking noble, welcoming and chivalrous but actually being dishonest and manipulative, and what’s important here is… Marcille turns away and sticks by Chilchuck. Of course this is logical, no one would expect her to go running to Kabru lol, but I implore you to think of the thematics of it all, a princely guy, the closest character of the cast in the flesh embodying the prince charming persona, is giving her some positive attention, and it does affect her a bit but nonetheless she turns away, and strategizes with Chilchuck instead of trusting or giving good faith or getting carried away. She chooses Chilchuck. Unlike so often, she doesn’t let aesthetics sway her here, get in the way of her better judgement, distract her from the point. She chooses not to give good faith, even if he seems charming and friendly and smiles. Marcille is serious when the situation requires it that's now new, but this is in line with the lesson he instilled earlier above. And if nothing else, Marcille has a good memory, exhibit B to come later. Here we see part of why Chilchuck was afraid of Laios or Senshi but not Marcille blurting out the wrong things with Toshiro and is party, when push comes to shove they're often on the same wavelength. Marcille and Chikchuck do strategize with specifically each other regularly, they do tend to pair up a lot after all, so this isn’t especially new, but it’s the first time there’s this sense of us vs them imo. Like how earlier Chilchuck was saying that he’s better than the smooth talker type, here we see Marcille implicitly agree.
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She just has a passing glance & thought for Kabru but she knows her true allies and true values, and she wants to strategize with Chilchuck. What I am saying is that if she was given the choice to think through going with a guy that seems perfect and chivalrous like her succubus, if she was logical about it she’d pick Chilchuck over that guy actually, yeah. At the end of the day, no matter the pretty smiles, she knows who her actual friends are. Whiiich on that topic, next section!
Ideals vs desires vs wants
It's succubus analysis time
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Her succubus is quite direcly a prince figure, a knight on a white horse who's come to whisk her away. He calls her princess, even! She's taken the role of Daltian Clan's protagonist, essentially. He kisses her hand, nothing short of the most classic courtly romance tropes. He's even drawn in a noticeably more shoujo style, not unlike the characters' faces in the aftermath of getting their energy sucked by succubi.
I made a whole analysis on specifically Laios’ succubus but it covers some stuff that could be interesting for this analysis as well, I’ll repeat the essential stuff tho: Their succubus all show what type of social connection they desire. Izutsumi’s is familial, Marcille wants someone she can emotionally connect with, seemingly romantic, Chilchuck wants something physical and sexual so he doesn’t have to think and worry about anything deeper (betrayal, insecurities, etc, the difficulting that come with a committed romantic relationship- also likely related to his senses & stress), and Laios wants people and friends who’ll accept him and his monster interest- platonic.
But more interesting for this analysis is how succubi work. The goal isn’t to beckon, but to incapacitate. The succubus doesn't work on the basis of rationality, it’s not a factor they go for and it’s not one they need to appeal to either, as we see. (Laios is a special case -gestures to the linked analysis- but the succubus doesn’t appeal to his rationality as much as it soothes his worries, his friends judging him etc etc, and the reason Izutsumi could remain unaffected is that there is always a half of her not enthralled by the succubus because she essentially has two souls.) Neither Marcille, Chilchuck or Izutsumi could realistically expect any of the people they saw to be real and not fake succubis. They KNOW that, they were actively preparing for the succubi to jump on them and fight back, rationally they know they're monsters! But how this monster works is that it targets deep desires within you that when face to face with it'll make you hesitate, make something in you unable to fight or flight and instead do the third instinctive option: freeze. Or especially in Laios’ case, the form gives the victim just enough confliction on the matter for them to want to believe it’s real. All they have to do is just not move, stay passive and accept the attention, so it’s not an issue of wether they reciprocate an action or run away. It's so that it shortcircuits you and leaves you open to pick like a fruit.
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If this wasn’t the "reads your heart so deeply that it freezes you to the spot" monster, Chilchuck WOULDN’T be doing anything with these women. He’s been devoted to his wife even 4 years after separation on bad terms, you think he’d ever cheat on her? If this was a decision he were to make, instead of just freezing, he would reject it. In that similar way, Marcille’s succubus might not be what she’d rationally go for. You think if this was what Marcille had to choose, the person she wants most to see and at her side, her most alluring form wouldn't be Falin, alive and well? You think that wouldn't be the thing Laios truly wants most as well? And before people say that canon proved that the latter wasn't with the curse the winged lion put on him, THAT'S THE POINT!!!! You can irrationally desire things, you can desire things to degrees so deep you can’t change it even if you wish you could, but if it was truly a choice up to you, you'd choose otherwise. Laios decided to become king, even if that's a lifestyle so far from what he truly wanted, even if it is duty more than fun for him. Like how Chilchuck would choose faithfulness despite for sure having come into contact with many beauties through his four years of separation.
Ideals vs reality are a big Dunmeshi theme in general, same as wants vs needs, and you can see Marcille’s daydreams and novel themes make it an especially relevant throughline and theme for her. Not unlike how in my opinion General Hareus and Mithrun intentionally look very alike to contrast reality vs fantasy!
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Marcille never reacts any particular way to Mithrun’s appearance despite the blatant resemblance, so that makes me think the point/joke is meta rather than character focused. The romanticization of elves and their societal drama in their fiction contrasting heavily with a very real and imperfect product of their military system. The canaries certainly aren’t glamorous next to whatever military Hareus is the general of. There’s even the fun little details like Hagreus’ lips being drawn with extra details because they’re full and pretty while Mithrun’s lips are drawn with extra details because they’re chapped and dehydrated.
So yes, themes of what you actually want vs irrational cravings. Base desires vs actual wants. Needs are also separate, but not relevant for this discussion. To get to the specific definitions I’m using for the words in this section’s header, ideals vs wants vs desires: ideals are your ideal of something, the best degree to which a thing could be tailored to you, and it can be derived from both wants and desires, usually a mix of the two, but for example: I’d say the succubus is a type of ideal (the platonic ideal of allure to the victim) derived solely from desires, because a want is active rather than passive, acted upon rather than suffered, because a want unlike a desire involves thinking things through. So a want: something you want, you take actions towards getting or achieving it, it can be a very strong feeling but it’s something you pursue or wish to pursue. Finding a cure to death is a want, not wanting to be alone is a desire, see, I’m assigning desire this more primal or unchanging subconscious nature to it. On the flipside with Chilchuck, sex without ties, easy pleasure, is a desire, but the want is not having to think about his marriage situation because it’s painful, not wanting an emorional connection because it’s all the easier to be hurt with, just wanting to take his mind off of everything for a while.
Thus the succubus targets Marcille’s wish for a perfect knight who could cherish her forevermore, someone safe and known and fantastical, just hers in a way, free to see and construct however she wants because he’s a character to interpret, and it targets Chilchuck’s wish for pleasure that’ll whisk him away from the stress and pressure and reality of his life, something that’ll make him feel both good and desirable and emotionally uncompromised, not unlike what alcohol does, as he says he likes having his fine senses dulled in the changeling chapter. Idealization is twisting the image of something in your mind to be closer to what you want, but usually mostly desire on a more subconscious level, to be true, almost a wish, sometimes but not always hand in hand with idolization which is to put something on a pedestral. Idealizing things that are easier to reconcile with mostly, in Marcille’s case: it’s easier to believe that Chilchuck is very young and it’s easier to stomach that Falin hasn’t aged much, it's easier to believe Falin is an angel who can do no wrong and if she left with Laios it's not that she chose to leave Marcille, and it's easier to believe Chilchuck is just a moody closed off youngster than an embittered old man. It can be done to people as much as concepts, like the idea/plan to give everyone a 1000 years lifespan, surely that'd do really well and everyone would love it. Wants and desires are both very often about changing reality after all, wether it be your situation or an event in your past or a law of the world like death, but wants are mostly through actions and since desires are more subconscious it can lead to self-delusion easily. Like with succubi, wants engage with your rationality so they target desires instead. The demon's strategy isn't too ar off, either, feeding into both and using underlying desires to manipulate its victims. Dungeon Meshi is in part yes about resisting desires, the irrational cravings, mostly through the character of the demon. I mentioned needs earlier, and to ideals vs wants we also add vs needs, both emotional and physical, and needs alongside wants are what Dungeon Meshi wishes to promote for a healthier person, Dungeon Meshi which illustrates very well with the dungeon lords that you can be a slave to your desires.
The parallel between succubi and demons is intentional. The demon is in fact the origin of the succubus myth in-world. No wonder they operate similarly in many ways- the succubi are in a way a more simple straightforward version of the demon, with less convoluted strategies and less intricate manipulation.
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Of course the succubus each character sees does say something about their characters, but what I’m saying is we shouldn’t assign choice or morality to it as if it wasn’t an ethereal monster whose whole biology is focused on being able to freeze people through appealing to desires, much like how we can’t fault people for falling for demons’ manipulations. Like that’s their WHOLE thing and they use mind control through enticement shenanigans. I know people sometimes fault Chil for his succubi and if you want here’s my stance.
Point of this whole thing is, people can rationally choose things that are different from their deeper desires, like in truth Falin’s safety being more important to Laios than becoming a monster. Like how Marcille stayed with Chilchuck to strategize instead of wanting to give good faith to Kabru. Yes, this is the main point I'm coming at with this section lol. Marcille idealizes and idolizes the figure of a perfect prince charming, undoubtedly! But when it comes to what she actually wants, not in some ideal fantay world but in reality, she knows Chilchuck and her imperfect friends are some of the best she could ask for. She's content with them as they are. She would choose a flawed reality over a perfect fantasy.
That's a big part of what her dungeon lord arc is about too, all her tendencies to ignore what others want for what she thinks is best for them or thinks is a perfect course of action: accepting that people are complex with different wants, and that something that's a no-brainer to her like wanting to live for a long long time is a solid no for many. And Laios and the party confront her about it, and Marcille, even under the influence of a demon, chooses to accept reality. Chooses to accept that there are some things that, even were she to be able to, she shouldn’t change after all (even for stuff that’s not forcing everyone to live for a millenium, like bringing Falin back from the dead is something that the party and Marcille had to come to terms with maybe not working and the way they went about it was self-centered). She chooses to come back to herself and the party, to accept the world as it is even if flawed and sometimes hurtful.
And hm, I wonder if Chilchuck had any role in the lead up to that particular decision... I wonder if Chilchuck was a major influence in teaching Marcille that the world isn't perfect and her internalizing things that were outside of her bubble!! I wonder if Chilchuck was directly what made Macille turn towards her party and thus start thinking of giving up on being dungeon lord!! Joking, joking, of course it does. To be continued, see you in the princess imagery section at the end of this essay.
Essentially, this section is to show that: 1) despite what her succubus may suggest, she has indeed grown by that point in the manga compared to pre-canon and her overly idealistic simple black and white vision of things, and it doesn't prove the ‘choosing her friends over a prince thing’ wrong, and 2) despite how deeply ingrained romanticism is in her and how it calls out to her, she still has chosen and continues to choose reality and her friends over it. How fantasy is important to her and how much she loves it, and her having the will not to mindlessly succumb to it coexist and it's that resistance against fantastical ideals that speaks of her as a character so much.
And what does that mean, for Chilchuck? For him and Marcille?
Deconstructing realistic romance AKA compromising between romanticism and reality AKA Chilchuck Tims vs Prince Charming part 2
So what we’ve covered so far is that 1: idealization is something that Marcille does a lot, including concerning Chilchuck, 2: the prince/knight figure is meaningful & important to her, 3: Marcille isn’t a lost cause on it, and for instance, much like how she stops harping on Namari after Chilchuck explains to her how professional reputations and networking work, he can change her mind on things.
Let’s get back to their prejudices of each other for a bit. You might have to zoom in for this one.
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Her shapeshifters of both Chil and Laios are influenced a lot by looks and impressions. She’s very adamant about Laios and Falin not looking alike at all, for one. Marcille’s view of Chilchuck’s lockpicks are surprisingly accurate. Meanwhile, despite their first big relationship moment during canon being about how he’s glad to have her and her skills for the dungeon dive, he still ridiculizes her magic somewhat with the crude spellbook. She’s still silly and tease-worthy to him, even while he praises her like in the good medicine chapter with Leed he says it himself in the same breath. Silly, or "ridiculous" depending on the translation, is somewhat ambiguous, but I assign it the meaning of 'thoughtlessly reckless', like how again in the good medicine chapter when he's saying this he's referring to Marcille's future job prospects, because law and career are important to conform to for him. Despite this, their shapeshifters’ behaviors are accurate, although Marcille’s Chilchuck is nicer and less bitterly reclusive. Note how it's Marcille's chilchuck that makes it furthest and how why she thinks hers is the true one is that her Chilchuck "looks less mean"- this is what I mean when I say she idealizes him and sees him as a little angel, along with his fluffier hair it gives us the perspective of why she'd find him so hair-ruffable and why she likes sticking to him so much, I suppose.
Marcille's arc of not seeing Chilchuck for what he is has steps, it's not like Senshi who does an 180 seeing his changeling. There are a couple of important moments for it that tell us her progress and changes her perspective: Him telling his age -> the shapeshifters (our best look into an objective assessment of her perspective) -> reveal that he has a wife and kid(s) (fully shattering her denial) -> seeing him as a changeling (true reckoning. Putting the nail in the coffin of what reality is) -> bicorn chapter (acceptance. Internalization)
You might notice that the explanation for Marcille’s Chilchuck is "Even though she’s been told he’s an adult, deep in her heart she still doesn’t get it", and a fantranslation translates it as "Understands he’s supposed to be an adult, but hasn’t quite come to grips with the fact internally". This definitely implies her arc of growing to see him as an adult had already started by then. Especially if we compare it to Senshi’s more intense babyfied Chilchuck. This goes back to what I was saying about Marcille watering down people for the sake of aesthetics, some rational part of her knows he’s an adult, but it’s emotionally that she struggles to reconcile the fact with her perspective. It’s actually pretty ambiguous when she first starts considering he might be an adult. If by this point she was already digesting it, then I think it must’ve been when he told the party his age. It’s not unsimilar to rationally knowing Falin is an adult at 23 even if it doesn’t feel like it to her, or post-canon calling the Touden parents kids even though obviously she’d know they aren’t actually, it’s classic longlived race patronization. He’s older than Falin, by 6 whole years, and even Marcille isn’t that blind to what that'd mean. Wouldn't marcille also have a problem with child labor otherwise? There's also how Marcille pre-canon shortly speculated Chilchuck was in love with Namari in her Adventurer's Bible extra. She for sure has witnessed a lot of half-foots walking around, probably even drinking at taverns. She knows, on some level. Chilchuck even does a whole rant after they react going on "this is why long lived races are condescending assholes". So that’s my bet, "Is he an adult?" "Well yes but actually no" (Chilchuck), "I’m an adult now I’ve grown" "Awww you’ll always be like a kid to me!" (Falin) Depending on the dub and interpretation, I know for example that when I made my family watch the anime they thought Marcille "See? You're just a kid!" after he said he was 29 they saw it as teasing and playful, unserious, or even disappointed, implying she'd have thought he was older than 29. It's actually ironic how someone as developmentally atypical as Marcille, whose physical and mental growth was unpredictable, unsynchronized and messy, would judge others by appearance and age so much. But well imo appearances are important to her so in that way, she especially judges those because she had to live through being judged by those standards as well. She puts elven standards on everyone the same way she does with beauty standards, so age is included in that.
Marcille here is struggling with dissonance, it's why she "hasn't come to grips with the fact internally". And this all makes sense for the arc that sharing things about himself is what opened the gates of being understood better. Point is, her vision is influenced by her own feelings of how things should be like, veiling herself to the reality of things.
And notice the point that the problem her lack of rationale when it comes people- Chilchuck regularly makes her prioritize rationality over feelings, and well that’s somewhat his whole schtick when it comes to debating philosophy. With Namari and how her leaving the party and not returning is reasonable even if it feels wrong, just like the "don’t trust someone just because they seem well-meaning and generous, strategize instead of swooning", and ironically also the "it's important to take in mind how things like touch when healing can affect parties and create love triangles" lol, "don't be emotional, and also remember people being emotional will stirr up shit". Since she’s someone pretty swayed by feelings, it balances her out. Ultimately, if we consider the Dungeon Lord arc her culmination, it’s Chilchuck who ends her arc by meeting her halfway through appealing out to her feelings, but that’s the flipside of the coin of their arc, and it’s her willpower to face reality that saves them so I don’t think that contradicts that Marcille had to do her half of the journey & comprise.
I would argue there are many hints of Marcille knowing on some level he's an adult throughout early canon. Not just seriously calling him the most mature of the group, but her behavior at the Golden Kingdom's too for example. Would you act all shy asking a kid to sleep in his bed, especially one she's always felt so comfortable trampling the boundaries of and touching casually? Idk that's weird. She's asking to sleep in his bed because by her own admition it'd make her feel more comfortable. Chilchuck is safe to her and she feels shy implying it and asking for a favor like that. Shy that he'd find her silly for it, and/or shy that this might be inappropriate according to etiquette and in other contexts. To me this feels much closer to two peers, like how in the mandrake chapter she wanted validation from him too, and yes she still infantilizes him and emasculates him into someone who's harmless in her mind- not just someone who wouldn't hurt or take advantage of her, because she knows that, because Chilchuck does protect her (more on that later!!).
He's not heroic, but he's brave, when it matters. He's mean and rude, but also caring. He's responsible, even when it means going the unpleasant route. The aesthetic doesn’t fit the role, but the actions do.
He keeps claiming he’s a selfish coward who’ll be the first to dip in a fight, and yet he’s always, consistently pulling her out of danger, or specifically calling out to Marcille when danger strikes. And I think it’s because of the nugget of info we get in the adventurer’s bible that her stamina and athletics are bad, in canon he does call her clumsyhead like once but it never felt enough for me to deduce that on its own personally. So then the reason why he’s always targeting her, beyond the reasoning that she’s the healer thus the most important to keep alive (which he brings up in the rabbits chapter), he takes it upon himself to help her, save her and pull her away from danger because she’s clumsy. She’s not defenseless, she’s known to use explosions, and still he feels the need to save her and through the manga he’s even died trying to pull her to safety one and a half times: dungeon rabbits + the drowning- they didn’t die in the latter though it’d have gone that way if it weren’t for the water bursting out just after, and that situation was especially hopeless regarding Chikchuck being able to do anything to save her at all, yet he still tried.
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A little knight in shining armor, a little noble hero, a little prince charming innit?
Chilchuck IS all show and no talk- and she knows the value of that!!! It's why despite all his sour demeanor she respects him both professionally and as a smart guy she can trust, why she feels safe with him and wants him by her side when strategizing or even sleeping. The aesthetic doesn’t fit the role, but the actions do. Fantasy vs reality!!! He teaches her how to face reality both with his words and actions, through the contradictions of him, his caring behavior and bitter words, his old manners and young looks!
And actually let's TALK about that drowning scene hello. There, in the collage above, in the bottom left. The context of that is: This is after the demon leaves when the dungeon collapses, the dungeon gets flooded by water and they go under, with no sense of where or how there could be an exit to this. 1: Since the dungeon is collapsing and reviving someone only works in dungeons, there is no guarantee that Marcille or anyone would be able to revive someone during or after this, NONE. 2: He is risking his life for her, he is STRAIGHT UP playing his life on this choice, action hits and shit gets more serious than it ever has, and he yet does it anyways. Perhaps it's the gravity of it that pushes him to make this choice, that this time if someone dies it's for real and he can't accept that, but either way his choice is made in a split second, he prefers dying trying to save her than living without saving her. He is fighting for scraps of hope, seconds more of holding onto life. Which, 3: This situation is HOPELESS. In the end yes they end up being spat out by some exit out the dungeon with the strenght of the flood, but there was no way to know this would happen, and like we see in the third panel Chilchuck and the others actually lose consciousness. That's for "a way out of this", but even moreso, what is he hoping to accomplish? He's small and weak like he always reminded the party in fights, he CANNOT PULL HER UP TO SAFETY, HE CANNOT PULL HER AT ALL, WE SEE HIM STRUGGLE TO AND FAIL. HE CAN'T DO ANYTHING BUT HE STILL TRIES DESPITE THE RISK. You might also say- haha!! You might also say that this is a show of optimism from him!! You could say that after Marcille changed him, pushed him to have more hope in him, he now has the strenght and will to hope that this might do anything, that this might save her! A little similar to the situation with his wife actually, the point is that the chance is worth taking even if it might not turn out like hoped for- the point is that it's always worth trying and keeping hope to fight on, there is risk in being vulnerable and reaching out to his wife yes, there is risk, as with jobs, as with finances, as with anything- It's not that you'll never fail, but you have to not give up when you do- there's a risk but you can't just shut yourself off to the world and to relationships, you can't suddenly care about nothing! That's Chilchuck's arc! And maybe it's because his arc of becoming more hopeful and open yourself to caring centers her that it's her he latches onto here and not Senshi and Izutsumi who are equally in trouble here, maybe it's because he knew her longest or because he still feels this sense he has to look out for her like always, or because he trusts her to breathe underwater least, I don't know, but it's what happens! And listen, by all intent and purposes it was a hopeless situation, they were on the verge of drowning but he still fights to save her, and everything looks lost for a sec, but then the water current miracurously spits them out of the crumbling dungeon. He gets up and he runs to marcille fearing she's hurt but no, they're saved, she's fine, they're all alive and out of danger. It worked out. Having hope was right.
They make me ill I tell you. Like what the HELL, am I supposed to NOT go crazy when this happens??! What if they were the meaning of life what if their arc was about cracking the balance of living and loving healthily and cracking the code of life. Okay. Okay okay okay so anyways so
He can be quite self-sacrificial and noble! Always looking out for others, and giving Marcille particular attention in that regard, likely in part due to her being clumsy in his eyes and her being the healer aka their token of safety.
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Sit your ass back DOWN you are in no state sir. Despite her biases Marcille is still observant, she still loves dissecting people like in that pre-canon party relationships chart in her extra, she's still the one to say "Chilchuck is the most mature here". Marcille still notices things! She has an interest in people and Chilchuck is someone she especially likes to "study". She read him like a book in the bicorn chapter, and if she was able to it’s that she looked, she remembered, she saw. The way he doesn’t like waiting on people, that he’s very reserved with feelings, the way he often doesn't pick up on others' and even his own- It all comes through in her quote unquote analysis of him, what married life with him would be like and how he reacted to his wife leaving.
Point is, Chilchuck is very harsh on himself, but there are gems inside of him, there is gold hidden away if you dig at his heart. And besides, isn’t humility a mark of heroes?
Okay. Sooo there's not that much to say about the changeling scene actually, for both Senshi and Marcille, the chapter just previous where Chilchuck reveals he has a wife and kid is what fully reckons them with how Chilchuck is a fully fledged adult, and for both of them seeing Chilchuck as a tallman is the final nail in the coffin. With Senshi it's a rather fast 180, and he mourns the sweet kid image he had of him where he poked his cheek and ruffled his hair, but for Marcille it's just an extra "he's really really REALLY really not a kid. Really". It has a bit of a reversal of Marcille and Chilchuck's dynamic, since now he can manhandle her instead of her manhandling him. This is a rather pleasant experience for him from what we can tell, whereas Marcille is struggling to keep the party's walking pace and complains about the heat implying half-foots are more sensitive to temperatures, Chilchuck finds having his senses dulled relaxing, has no problem of the sort Marcille is having AND! And! He can pull her around. The fight with gargoyles happen and he's pulling her arms, picking her up, he even throws her both before it and during the fight, he has the physical power to push her away if he wants to and also to pull her out of danger- the way he later tries to in the rabbit chapters and with drowning, but also when the Faligon reveal happens. He still doesn't look like a knight in shining armor, and he still doesn't have the demeanor of one, but he has the most power to protect her than he ever has. Anyways so yes, further "oh Chilchuck is an adult. And he's kinda knightly and can protect me wow. And also ugly not at all like elven beauty ewwwwww. I won't be able to unsee it now if I try to ruffle his hair after this".
It’s always a question of seeing more facets to someone and slowly digesting them and internalizing them, like Kui puts it herself in the shapeshifter explanation for Marcille's Chilchuck. And this illustrates a bit what I was saying in the section about Dalclan and tropes and people being "digestible" to her. She has to get used to the idea first and it's a slow process.
And during the succubus chapter as well, right after the bicorn chapter where she fully accepted Chilchuck as an adult, Marcille doesn’t falter when she’s confronted with seeing Chilchuck as, for a lack of a better term, a sexual being. She even cracks a (albeit sfw) playful quip about it, about them being all blondes. I suppose with the crass jokes he made like during the frog comic that might have prepped her for it lol.
And on that topic... We're here guys. The holy grail of Marcille and Chilchuck.
🔥The bicorn chapter🔥
The chapter finishes both Marcille and Chilchuck's arcs about harmful idealization vs not being a doomer, so to speak. It's the culmination, the ultimate balance found, the moment where the lesson gets fully internalized on both sides at the same time. It is a MASTERCLASS in how to do relationships arcs and character studies.
Chilchuck starts the chapter being dismissive of Marcille and her interests again, it opens with a narrated bit about his bad experiences with romance in past parties and he admits he has contempt for people who find the topic of love fun. He sees her still a bit as both a fly circling around him and a venus fly trap waiting for the opportunity to pounce on him and not let go until he spills everything. He ends it though, willingly giving up information on him in conversation with her, opening up, and appreciating her perspective on his romantic troubles.
Marcille starts the chapter having mostly processed that he's an adult, asking him about his wife, but she's still Weird about him and his personal life- and okay, that doesn't quite change, but something does change- everything changes for a moment, in fact.
And what's the catalyst? The cataclysm, even? Chilchuck lies and says he cheated on his wife.
[Okay guys I am officially out of pic space, sorry but I'll have to start recurringly linking to images instead: page]
We get to see live Marcille's esteem for Chilchuck plummet and freefall to the ground. And Chilchuck often acts like hassling and teasing between them is onesided, that she's always the one harassing him, but since early manga Chilchuck has always liked to tease her every opportunity he gets, often initiating interaction just for it... During half of this chapter Marcille is giving him the cold shoulder and we get to see that he misses her, we get to see her fully shut down the (racist) joke he throws at her and see him be SHAKEN over it. He wasn't expecting his lie to tank his reputation and relationship with the party members this much, maybe because before whenever he called himself selfish and cowardly no one seemed to think less of him for it, and he's at a loss for what to do like we see here. He misses their friendship. He's always said he didn't care for having a friendship with them all and whatnot, but here we see him grapple of the aftermath, of knowing what it would be like without them as friends, without them at all.
[page 1, page 2.]
And like with his wife, he has a choice to make. Be passive and spiteful and do nothing, or be vulnerable and communicate to win them back over. And this time, after a manga's length of learning little by little to be more open (and literal coercive torture) he chooses to do it, to try and clear up the misunderstanding.
And listen, on Marcille's end this was NEEDED. He DROPS in her eyes to deserving no respect- but even in these times we see her be jealous of Chilchuck opening up to Senshi, implicitly still caring about what he thinks of her, and most importantly that she does still care about him himself when the bicorn breaks his arm and she runs to his side to heal him, worried. Why was this needed? Because Marcille was forced to have her full, complete vision of Chilchuck shattered. Not only is Chilchuck not little in her eyes anymore, but he's also no angel. He can MASSIVELY- borderline unforgivably- mess up. He is an adult who can royally fuck up, even be immoral. She calls him a depraved adult man.
It sounds negative, but what this does is actually strip him from any idealization and infantilization in her eyes. Is there something more adult than adultery? Is there something less honorable, less wholesome? In this chapter Marcille is forced to reconcile the Chilchuck she knows with this man who did something vile to his wife, even the mother of his child.
And then Chilchuck clears things up, he takes the risk of an argument and actual rejection and sacrifices the secrecy around his family situation to make up with her. And it works. Instantly.
And so he goes "Okay so one day she left me and I have no idea why, probably for no reason. The end. What a petty thing to do am I right. We'll probably never talk again." and she's like "Bet? Actually I have several ideas as to what could have happened and you WILL listen."
(For a Chil & Chilwife analysis go over here instead btw.)
She was always perceptive, but she always had a bias that made her vision of others flawed. Her lens of novel worlds and narratives. Remove, or at least shift that bias in a productive direction, and you get a strength rather than an hindrance. The skill of self-inserting (literally. The half-foot depicted as his wife is even literally Marcille a a half-foot, and his child looks just like him, to show just how good her imagination is lmaoo) Marcille is such the "If I wanna hit the ball… I must become the ball" type. As proven by how she controlled her familiars in the hypogriff chapter. "If I were your wife I’d be overjoyed to go out with you and would get myself prettied up while you complain about me taking a long time, your friends would tell me that I’m cute and nice and that’d make me happy, but I’d also be sad because you wouldn’t tell me that you love me enough. Then I'd leave to test your love, and you're failing that test rn but if you came back to me even after a long time I'd take you back for sure." And see these! See Chilchuck frowning there in how she thinks of him, how he gets peeved when she takes time to get ready.
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No because, this means everything. Marcille started out the manga thinking he was just a kid with a party pooper attitude and even in the shapeshifter chapter where she’s more coming to terms with her having been wrong about him, her shapeshifter of him is sweet and cute and nicer like "No the REAL Chilchuck is much less nasty! ☺️". But in the bicorn chapter it all comes to a head!! Learning that "Chilchuck cheated on his wife" made her esteem of him tank to rock bottom almost, finally acknowledging that Chilchuck can both make adult mistakes and be significantly flawed. But then! The chapter ends by him opening up which in turn make her esteem of him comes back up, but things have changed, still. What she does with her "virtuous husband" bit might seem like idealization again, and she is being optimistic about the wife'smotives, but she’s not making him into something he’s not! She recognizes his flaws (embraces them even.) Like how as the wife she thinks of an angry/frowning chilchuck, how he complains about waiting on her, which he's also done to Marcille before...
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Even the way she says "he wouldn't say that he loves me enough" IS DIRECTLY SOMETHING FROM HER OWN EXPERIENCE FROM THE MANDRAKE CHAPTER. Because then she wanted to hear from his mouth with his words that he does value her, that he does appreciate her, that she's not a burden to them! She knows how it can feel like he doesn't appreciate you even when he does, and how insecure it can make someone! Now when she flavors things, she takes the embellishments from her own experiences instead of from novels! Reality, too, can be romanticized without becoming pure fantasy. Fantasy doesn't have to be dry and bitter, it can be beautiful and fun, too. Her "if I was your wife, life would be something like this and I'd feel like this" is truly based on her own perspective and feelings- her empathy and interest in others is not a weakness like Chilchuck thought, it's borderline a superpower.
She doesn't just keep his flaws in mind, she also hypes up his qualities!! He is virtuous, bicorn approved, devoted even after separation!! And that hyping up, and optimism that things wouldn’t necessarily go bad if he tried to mend things with his wife, really gave him hope, and also finished up his arc about optimism not always being bad, sometimes even being necessary.
She inspires him to think that things can work out, that he can still be pleasantly surprised even with all his bitterness. After all, he opened up to Marcille and they talked just now, and she forgave him and they made up, didn't they?
And he must have never quite let go of all hope, must stil lhave some left in him hidden somewhere, because in all those four years of separation never has he stopped calling her his wife in present tense, because even after all of them he has stayed faithful and never moved on.
And all of this with the chapter ending with Chilchuck eating a sweet and savory sandwich, which he thought would be bad and inspired disgust in him at first, and being like "Huh, the sweetness actually complements the bitterness pretty well."
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THE SANDWICH IS THEM. "Syrup in a sandwich? Sweetness has nothing to do in a meal." IT'S OPTIMISM AND PESSIMISM COEXISTING. IT'S SWEETNESS AND BITTERNESS BOTH HAVING THEIR PLACE IN A DISH. IT'S MARCILLE AND CHILCHUCK COMING TOGETHER TO HAVE THE RIGHT BALANCE FOR HIM TO BE ABLE TO SAY "It might not go well like in stories, but I'll still try".
Remember what i said about compromises earlier, balance of optimism and pessimism? He tries it, and it works out despite having no faith that it’ll be good, and he’s pleasantly surprised. SURPRISES CAN BE PLEASANT! They're not just life-shattering, not just dangerous, it is possible to be pleasantly surprised! And this is why Kui is a goddess of telling stories through food.
He’s opening up to her, as he takes that last bite of the sandwich, he willingly and easily gives up an information about his family for the first time <3
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Notice how she defends his virtues directly taking from Daltian Clan for her reasoning!
She’s such a wingwoman. Such a cheerleader. Couple therapist. Emotional support friend. 10/10.
Marcille: "he has a shitty personality sometimes but if he was my husband I’d still cherish him" Chilchuck: "damn I needed that" /hj
So this neatly ties the last bits of Chilchuck's reluctance to care about others and being cared about in turn, yes yes Marcille reads him like a book so well that he's left shaking, and this is it, really, their arc is about the balance in loving too much and loving too little, in stifling others with that love and care and interest the way Marcille does vs showing it so little that others don't even know if he cares at all, à la “if we want the rewards of being loved, we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.”
Marcille has a whole theme with the prince charming trope, with her idealization and storybook motif and this is sort of the "Well someone perfect like that isn’t very realistic and romance is usually more complex- and that’s ok and good, and flawed people can still be ✨virtuous✨" conclusion. Again, fantasy doesn't have to be perfect to be worth it, to be valuable and lovable and great and precious.
He’s the devoted virtuous man that she wants not the storybook prince that’s unrealistic and could crumble like a script at any time. He’s the perfect example of a flawed realistic but virtuous and devoted and loving family man. Far, far from a prince charming, but not fully detached from it either. Something worth fighting for despite the flawed cracks.
Marcille has this grand fantasy, this ideal of prince charming, a chivalrous gentleman knight, but through canon especially with Chilchuck she learns to not idealize people so much. That acts are more important than aesthetics. The bicorn chapter is all about Chilchuck’s romance being realistic: flawed. And it’s no coincidence that this is what ties their interwoven arc closed, because they learn to compromise, his pessimism and her optimism. Marcille sees and recognizes a romance that is both flawed and beautiful and is able to balance the two decently, meanwhile she convinces Chilchuck that yes it is worth fighting for and having hope for. Repeating myself but it’s easy to think she’s still idealizing Chilchuck during the bicorn chapter, BUT it’s important to notice the differences with the shapeshifter chapter, where her shapeshifter of him was "cute/sweet" "not nasty", an angel who could do no wrong. In the bicorn chapter, not only does he fall from her esteem a lot because she believes he cheated for a good part of it, thus acknowledging that he can be flawed and adult enough to commit adultery, but also! When she roleplays as his wife, she doesn’t erase his flaws!! She knows he has a short fuse and isn’t always pleasant, but believes that he’s worth loving anyways… 
And see this is the point!! She romanticizes his life, not idealizes it. The difference may be subtle, but it's there. In romanticization there's how Ghibli depicts mundane scenes of daily life, portrays doing chores like cleaning clothes as something that feels good, something worth doing that doesn't have to be miserable. In Chilchuck's life, in his flawed relationship with his wife, she sees the beauty and light and love to highlight so even if the lifestyle is humble and even if the relationship is tense it seems nice, it seems worth fighting for. She's using aesthetics again, but to inspire instead of stifle, the way she uses them to hype herself up sometimes too.
This is it this is the thing! Her worshipping and idealizing the image of perfect prince charming that will whisk you away on an ethereal romance becomes her romanticizing a realistic flawed middle aged dad with personality issues and a failing marriage, that he still is worthy of love and having his cute grand romance story and his happy ending!!
Marcille has a very hard time conceptualizing a point where love can’t conquer all, right. She’s optimistic and if there’s a will there’s a way etc etc etc. Notably when Marcille speculated about Chil’s wife, she centered around the theory that his wife wanted to "test" him by leaving, that she didn’t feel loved and left to see if he’d chase after her. She believes that his wife would be ecstatic to see him again and reaching out would make them reconcile and happily get back together, no problem. Chilchuck and his wife have been separated for 4 years. When Falin left the academy she and Marcille were separated for 4 years. Marcille has to believe Chil’s wife is waiting for him, that she hasn’t moved on, that she wants to be found. There's a different perspective on time, but there's also... Just parallels. Parallels everywhere. Miss coping, meet coping in an opposite way! And so she teaches Chilchuck to not assume everything is lost before havign even tried, and so he teaches Marcille to let go when it's needed.
She specifically loves characters who think they can’t be loved and pessimistic and dramatic… And story-fying him is literally what she does when she engages with the story of his breakup with his wife like it’s a story to decode, reinforcing the whole narrative about tropes and princes and how he comes to shape her view on them.
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Even if the context here is explicitly that she relates! Which, she finds being able to relate to them comforting and a positive point so it being a "type" thing isn’t fully off- but this is what I mean when I say she always keeps a film of emotional distance from people, she wants to love and be loved and know people on the deepest level possible so bad but it’s something that scares her too so she prefers to chase after the safe: the unreachable- the fictional. Like Chilchuck. Bit of tangential speculation, but she wants to crack his shell and make him open up- but it’s also easier because he pulls away instead of pulling in/closer so the relationship is fully in her control in that way, if it weren’t for the teasing… Making her into someone silly in his mind is how he keeps himself from putting weight into her words, how he gets himself to automatically dismiss the wise lessons she tries to instill to him, nope sir he doesn't have anything left to learn, he's an old crouton who understands everything there is to know about this cruel cruel life yes sir. Because trying and being rejected hurts! Because if it wasn't fated to turn out wrong, then it means there was luck or choice, and that makes failures almost more painful! But people leave!! People leave and people come back and new meetings happen and choices are good, choices shouldn't be taken away! Not like how Marcille tries to forcefeed immortality to humanity, as a dungeon lord...
The chapter ends with a panel of Marcille and Chilchuck bantering again, with everyone else going about their business seeming nonplussed while the two are being very loud as if to say, ah, classic them. Return to normalcy, return to their usual closeness and shenanigans. All is well.
The Princess imagery
And now we’re falling into the rabbithole. Imagery doesn’t have to be anything more than imagery, but I discuss romantic connotations in this section (amongst the platonic reality of things ofc), you can skip to the conclusion if you’d rather but you will miss important analysis of the dungeon lord balcony scene, a big piece of the puzzle in wrapping it all up. I found the meaning of life & the world in marchil but it’s ok I get it if you wouldn’t... We're all built different ig. The character with princely chilvalrous knight parallels in the manga is moreso Laios, but Laios too breaks the trope a lot. Chilchuck gets prince and knight parallels but by contrast instead, in subtext more than any explicitly drawn. There's a lot to Marcille's princess imagery and though I've never fully covered it I try to somewhat tackle it here.
For as much as the bicorn chapter is what ends their arc about balancing pessimism and optimism and finding healthy compromises, the arc of their RELATIONSHIP is in the dungeon lord chapter where he fully opens up to her, inviting her to meet his family and all. AND MY GOD, the princess imagery!!
Listen I am trying so hard to keep this unromantic, and to be clear subtext is subtext for a reason, it doesn’t have to be concreticized or "acted upon" perse, but… I think it’s there in this scene, at least a bit. I’ve spent a long time trying to pin down what was so charged in it, besides both of them blushing, despite him offering for her to meet his family, despite it calling out to a genuine deep instilled desire in her heart enough for it to work- for it to make her turn towards them, despite the first thing she does after is shower him in romantic gifts, and it eventually struck me… It’s the parallels with other media, with tropes!! This is HIGHKEY Romeo and Juliet type shit!!! The stuff you see in every couple new kinda trashy romance kids movies! A lady, stashed away in a high tower by her lonesome, waiting for someone to call out to her from below… Romeo courting type shit with a heartfelt spiel implicit confession from underneath her balcony, offering him flowers because he succeeded in calling out to her heart…….. And they have to CLIMB to her.
Remember her succubus' words? "Oh, princess... I can't believe you slipped away from the castle yet again... Honestly, what in the world shall we do with you...? Come, let us return." Again like with her succubus, she’s living through a storybook trope but with Chilchuck’s twist, more nuanced and realistic yet just as meaningful, even if it isn’t strictly OR at all romantic and if it’s more complicated and less glamorous. She’d have to peel the layers to get to the vulnerable truth of it, like anything else. I'm just gonna drop this here...
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Doesn’t it sound like a proposal. One that’s both so storybook-like, and contrasted with such real yet unromantic and grounded words, all about the implications rather than in your face grand gestures "Don’t you want to meet my family?". They literally have an arc about the topic of romance and this is the climax/pinnacle of it like god?? I’m not saying this was all intentionally crafted to be romantic but it nonetheless exists in the subtext, ripe for analysis. Of course they talk about planning together his reconciliation wit hhis wife, but the same thing happens regardless, he fully lets her into his life.
And again there’s something to be said about how that is what makes her finally turn around! This is extremely meaningful not only to Chil but to Marcille, the enticing thing that finally hooks her, gets her to finally look down at them. An offer to meet a flawed man’s flawed family, to help him mend it and its issues. It isn’t through the filter of a book, or mere gossip to her, she knows this man and she wants to be involved in his life, to know him and his family herself, ready to meet them and form connections. The clumsy, imperfect reality of a friend telling her he’ll let her into the other spheres of his life even if that means she witnesses the embarrassing and the ugly. It’s vulnerability on both their ends, offered and received, a gambit that was worth taking, both in the moment to talk Marcille out of being dunlord and long term of letting her in to see the deeper sides of him, there are take backsies once someone knows something about you after all. SHE STOPS BEING A DUNGEON LORD IN GOOD PART BECAUSE HE TOLD HER HE'D LET HER INTO HIS LIFE. SAY IT WITH ME, A FLAWED REALITY IS WORTH IT MORE THAN STAYING IN FANTASY!!!! In denial of reality, both that Falin hasn't grown older, that everything can turn out perfectly, and that everything is lost and there's nothing Chilchuck can do to make his wife love him again or even make his party listen to him.
Chilchuck says this after he sees her materialize her parents as doppelgangers. And so he goes on to say- hey your family will never go back to how it was when you were young, my family will never be what it once was either, but we can both move on and make the best of what we have anyways, isn’t that what you taught me, there are more out there! I’m opening up myself to new relationships and friendships because of your pushes, and now I want you to do the same! Life goes on and there’s always more joy and connections to be had! Stop isolating yourself, dammit!
And the thing too with Marcille’s arc is that she can’t get what she wants. She can’t. She can’t get everyone to live forever if she doesn’t take others’ free will away, if she doesn’t make the world stop for her as she plays god with the laws of nature and the cycle of life. And everyone’s important to that arc obviously, Falin during the story is the main object of that fear, and it’s moreso her death that pushes her arc along but it’s still extremely influential, Laios is the main one who sees her insecurities and talks her down, Senshi’s always harping on ecosystems and laws of nature and how resurrections aren’t natural and is there to offer comfort and support, Izutsumi’s someone new Marcille gets to take care of and her farewell talk with her reveals a lot about how she’s grown, but seeing this it’s easy to see why Chilchuck is paired off so much with her on their respective arcs, right? The one who tells it harshly how it is even when the reality is unpleasant, who gives up quickly when it's about things turning good for him but who always pushes and fights on when it matters with the party, who challenges a rose tinted glasses perspective head on.
He looks nothing like a knight but he still acts like one. He’s nothing like a prince or a dashing romantic courting lover but still he gives her a novel worthy balcony heart to heart scene. He’s painfully real and raw but she does bring that twinkle of hope and romantization that makes the world feel more wonderful to him, but like she tells him, he’s virtuous and he should give things a shot because people see good in him too and not only the bad he always shittalks himself for, she’s not making it up, he always had that sparkle of knight and prince in him.
Like, giving someone a handkerchief is literally a romance trope associated with nobles and princes. And Chilchuck has offered Marcille his handkerchief at least twice! The second time in the cockatrice chapter as a bandage. He keeps it in his pouch, with his tools, like the most must-have to offer it Marcille at any moment, ha /j. Prince behavior <3 The cowl like a knight’s favour, a token from a loved one he cherishes above all and keeps on himself at all times. Story tropes shit.
He IS a prince figure instead that now it’s not about idealizing the grand and overt it’s about romanticizing the small things in real life!! About finding joy and beauty in things that seem normal or mundane and uplifting them to make the world feel kinder!!!!
And man this whole angle makes the "Don’t you want to meet my family?" "-gasp- I really do want to! -turns away from eldritch power and living in her demon-made dreamscape that can allow her to live in fantasy to instead go back to flawed reality with her friends-" all that more meaningful and striking. A fitting end to her arc, a fitting hook to get her to turn back towards her and tempt her to give up on being dungeon lord. It’s always been just asking things and anecdotes about him and his family, never talking about meeting them, but by having someone so "fated with doomed love" open up and reach out to her "fated to never love", she opens up too, is willing to take the risk that any relationship entails, the same one that he took by offering it, the same risk they’re both averse to and scared of, loss and rejection. By actually meeting his family she involves herself in the stories she creates. It makes them real. She’s finally involving herself intimately with others, despite the real threat of loss that she will have to experience, wether through time and death or rejection.
Marcille and Chil’s arc, man…….. See, this is why I’ve been tilling the fields of that analysis for months this is why I’m insane about them, not only is there so much to say but her relationship with Chil straight up deconstructs her perspective on the world as idealized and influenced by fiction and fantasy and optimism. Like, he’s at the core of that part of her arc and man!! Man.
And the way that this is the culmination of their arc together… Like the ‘Chil calling out to dunlord Marcille on the balcony has Romeo and Juliette romance novels imagery’ take is one thing but the ‘their arc is about growing to see beauty even in the non-idealized, in the flawed and in the real’... It makes it so so perfect if she were to lower her ideal from a perfect elven prince to a virtuous halfling man (which she does romanticize).
So she doesn’t want a prince, she doesn’t want a general, she just wants this guy she knows, this friend she trusts as reliable, who has good intentions even if wrapped in unpleasant demeanor, that’s all she needs to be content and well and feel safe. By the end, he might even have become something of a prince charming to her, won over with heroic acts and virtues.
After all- Remember when I said she wouldn't be able to be as touchy so lightheartedly as before with him? Well wrong, apparently! This parallel from chapter 23 just before the red dragon fight vs chapter 96 at the final feast confirms that her like of him and behavior with him was unconditional of him being a kid or an adult. Marcille is just Like That and that she just likes him. A good part of what reads as infantilization truly is just how she cares for people in general.
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Conclusion
She’s afraid of change, so it's only fair that he would be perfect to teach her a thing or two. She had fantasies but he had experiences, both had bias.
Their arc says that love is a beautiful thing regardless of loss. Something both of them needed to remember. Life isn't like a novel. Sometimes an ending ISN'T satisfying, you don't get closure and it might not even be happy, but that doesn't mean nothing can end well, doesn't mean every farewell is bitter. Peace is worth both fighting for and making for yourself. You can't shut yourself off from the world because things sometimes hurt, there's more of life to live- won't you come meet my family? Won't you meet new people, won't I try to mend relationships that are dear to me? My family is flawed, but it's still worth meeting, still worth loving, still worth fighting for and keeping even with all its flaws, no? Elven storybooks don't feature half-foots, but they're worth spinning grand poetic and romantic tales for all the same. Life is bittersweet, and that's an acquired taste to have, but one good to be able to stomach as a whole.
There’s a lot of reasons why someone would love fictional characters but be afraid of love in reality, not unlike with Laios' and Chilchuck's own experiences love has a layer of danger and fear because it can hurt to love and it can hurt to be loved. People can leave you, and in Marcille that fear's mainly through death but for Chilchuck that’s through just… Leaving. Through giving Chilchuck optimism and hope, drive to keep going despite these realities, she’s also growing to be more comfortable with the thought of relationships ending and moving forward regardless. And I do think that was part of her arc of growing to accept that Falin might be dead dead, I think Chilchuck was a big part in that. Falin is the passive object of the arc but Chilchuck is the active actor pushing it along, in a way.
Because people can always leave, Falin will leave to travel the world, but she might come back- and that's okay. And that’s exactly the thing that the story wants Marcille to make peace with! Falin wants and needs to leave and Marcille needs to be content just taking what she can get, wether it be time with people or the boundaries they set with her. THE BOUNDARIES! THE BALANCING OF OPTIMISM AND PESSIMISM! IT'S CHILCHUCK'S DOING!! "The world isn’t all good, but you should be able to see the bright side of what you do get" is what she and Chilchuck learn. To learn that she can still enjoy when she is there, and still reach out to her and keep in touch through letters- to do what you can and to get what you can and to accept that as enough, for it to bring you the joy and peace it can. Don't push your expectations onto others, wether that's being overly intimate or overly judgemental, don't be too pushy but also don't be too afraid and not do anything at all.
In many ways even before, even on the regular Marcille was his gateway into being more lighthearted, always exchanging playful jabs, laughing at her. Teasing her because she teases him, lowering himself to her level until he looks back and realizes he’s having fun with it instead of just throwing jabs bc he’s the master of sarcasm TM.
Chilchuck smiling casually and softly, genuinely, when saying that things don’t work out sometimes, is just so powerful. From the man who always assumed the worst of everything, who always spoke of life and the world bitterly... By the end, while saying these things he’s smiling openly rather than smirking smugly. Carrying on with his go getter attitude with a touch more optimism in his heart. Now he's made his peace with life and sees the good in it, still.
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It's all about... How flawed relationships with flawed people can still be made into somehing good and healthy that make the world brighter… How flawed relationships are still worth remembering and cherishing. Except the winged lion, there to represent abusive relationships you need to fucking DITCH.
Marcille and Chilchuck’s arc is about how in life sometimes books do close and end, but other ones can open and start, and to never give up on that. People’s lives, relationships, these things are temporary and inevitably end, but there’s meaning and joy in having been there for them, and focusing on the end and the pain and being pessimistic in it doesn’t keep anyone safe, not meaningfully. "It’s not all nice like in the stories. Sometimes, a book just ends." "And another opens."
Dungeon meshi promotes the important of balance for both a healthy body and a healthy mind, and optimism vs pessimism is one such case <3
MAYBE IT'S ALL COMPROMISES MAYBE IT'S ALL SWEET INBETWEENS. Maybe we'll take our vision of what we thought we could be and make something new together! DRINK IN MODERATION!!!!!! SEE LIFE LIKE FAIRYTALES IN MODERATION!!!!!!! THE RIGHT ATTITUDE LIES BETWEEN IDEALIZATION AND PESSIMISM
Disclaimer:
This was pretty messy but thank you so much for reading!!
To be clear! Does this arc exist in the text, the whole tropes and idealism vs pessimism thing, do they have tangible impact on each other as both characters and narrative devices? Yes. Is Marcille and Chilchuck the central piece of the story? No. Is Dungeon Meshi about this and how it all culminated into a cool Romeo and Juliette scene? Lol no. Chilchuck isn't the most important person to Marcille and her story nor is Marcille the one most important to Chilchuck. Just like the other major characters in the story, their dynamic and progressing relationship is a plotline/subplot amongst others, and the level of layers and subtext it possibly has doesn't erase any other part or subtext of the story. Arcs can coexist. Multi-layered relationships can coexist. Just a reminder that this is my own analysis and interpretation of canon.
Dungeon Meshi is about food and how it ties us to a life that’s worth living, about unity and trying to understand that which you do not, to not demonize that which is different or unknown, to connect with others even if it’s hard, even if it’s in unusual or undescribable unlabelable ways, and Marcille and Chilchuck’s relationship is certainly a pawn in these themes like every other relationship.
I’m having fun, but I don’t want anyone getting lost in the sauce. It's unfortunate that to many, acknowledging there's any merit to analyzing this subtext is equal to supporting a ship they dislike, but this isn't ship propaganda, this is analysis of canon text where I happen to see a more niche angle. You can disagree with an interpretation without saying that it's nonsensical.
Like I don’t wanna say I’m a marchil truther but if you define it as believing canon does have genuine and credible basis for it then yeah I guess I am. I feel insane everyone acts like they have no chemistry and no material and??? We exist on different planets I think Like I know I implied some romantic undertone but in canon it totally can start and end at two coworkers bonding and getting to know each other better and see each other’s perspective and it influencing them both for the better. No buts, you can totally do that. Although this plus the crumbs it drives me up a wall when people say they have no chemistry or ‘how come people see anything in this pairing?’ They’re literally a comedic duo? A comedic duo that interacts so so much that gets paired off in scenes, a thematic duo which is even acknowledged and reflected in the anime’s opening. He teases her 24/7 canonically because he finds her reactions fun/cute, the only person he teases on the regular, and she’s obsessed with knowing more about him and loves being touchy on top of it, plus reads him like a book because she files away every little thing about him in her memory, like if that isn’t a strong basis for a ship I think the bar has gone too high. I’m derailing but yeah just. Do you see all of this? They drive me insane, I feel like I’m reading the necronomicon when analyzing them, picking up on subliminal messages, I keep always seeing new threads. And it’s been my otp for like 2 years now, idk when they’ll stop having a grip on me but????? There’s just so much to dig into with them. There will never be another pair like them. Do you hear me there’ll never be another duo that hits all of these like this, do you see this insanity? They are my lifeblood and if i’m eating up anything them-related it’s because they’ve earned it so hard tbh. So yeah if I’m ever dramatic about marchil it’s because I have this 100k words novel narrative in my head and marchil is the meaning of life to me hope this clears it up
Which on that note idk what or when my next Marcille & Chilchuck analysis will be. I might very well make a bite sized, summarized version of this analysis because asking people to read all of this is kind of insane of me... And full disclosure I’m also very likely to edit points in or tweak bits every so often in this analysis because idk if I’ll ever stop thinking about it, and phrasing can improved. This has been in my drafts and outlined more than a year and I’m literally still adding extra points save me. I might also do a different angle on their arc because here yeah I mostly just dug at the prince trope angle, at ONE of many angles... Like one interesting thread in the manga is Marcille emotionally maturing and becoming more like her mother, on top of her regularly being a mom type friend the way she looks after Izutsumi and Falin, which could be interesting to pair with the fatherhood of Chil. Hmm. Anyways
And obviously do whatever you want, but this analysis and all is why I personally can’t stand the fanon that Chilchuck and Marcille have a father-daughter undertone. It goes against their arc together, which is explicitly, literally about her acknowledging him as a man, an adult, about coming to see each other truly as peers and her coming to validate him as an adult, then a father and husband from an outside perspective and a friend, and inversely him coming to not belittle her profession and philosophy. Their whole arc is about learning to see each other as an equal and equally value each other’s perspective and opinion. You could argue it’s also the arc that happens with Izutsumi, but honestly with her it’s a lot about Izutsumi learning to compromise and others instilling lessons to her onesidedly while learning to respect her perspective and boundaries, it’s not nearly as much of a reciprocal thing. Izutsumi needs to be heard, but she also needs people teaching her and guiding her. Imo it cheapens the arc, the whole point is that they’re just two people who grow to see each other as equals, that the Laios party is coworkers turned friends. Marcille doesn't need a new parental figure, she needs friends who'll keep her in check the same way she does them.
I do love the way that the manga avoids romance. For every romantic undertone there’s a platonic explanation that is just as compelling and especially to this degree it’s both rare and wonderful. I think that a lot of people need to learn that sometimes ambiguity is the point instead of something that needs to have a specific objective answer. Sometimes the intent is for something to be able to be read in different ways in itself, or that the complexity of the relationship is canonically something that cannot be put into a neat box. Which! Next analysis I'm very intent on making is gonna be about unlabeled relationships in Dunmeshi and queerness, see you there!
Fast and dirty TLDR
Marcille’s personality is very serious and direct. Due to this, she frequently gets into arguments with the master of sarcasm, Chilchuck. Chilchuck views Marcille as “the friend who cannot shut up”. He is often the practical foil to her more imaginative or idealistic views.
She actually thinks very highly of him! "He’s usually the most mature one of us" "he’s dependable, we’re counting on him" "No chilchuck is definitely virtuous", and at first it’s also through this twisted lense that he’s a kid, like she has to put people into boxes so they’re more digestible, tropes, in line with aesthetic, and at this stage it’s hard for her to see Chilchuck as being even able of wrongdoing really. And gradually that gets challenged when she sees that yeah, he’s an adult, and then BAM bicorn chapter- Because by then ok fine he’s an adult, but it hasn’t quite fully settled yet as we see in the shapeshifter chapter and she still has a warped view of him a bit, she has an accurate grasp on his behavior yet still sees him as a little angel. And then she "learns" he committed adultery. Her esteem for him hits rock bottom and she spends the chapter cold to him, she still cares and comes running when he’s hurt, but she’s set on mean mugging him, until it’s revealed that- He didn’t actually. Oh, actually he just has family angst. And she starts roleplaying and having her novel vision again BUT THIS TIME HER MIND VISION OF CHILCHUCK IS OVERTLY FLAWED. He’s angry and his wife left him, he’s *flawed*, but he’s still worth hyping up, still worth having his own romance story, still has a shot of winning back his beloved. She sees him for what he is, human and real and not a carefully scripted character that fits an aesthetic, and she thinks it’s still worthy of love and admiration, worth fighting for.
The prince charming figure has importance in Marcille and Chilchuck’s arc, where she romanticizes things to a sometimes worrying degree or idealize people into something more poetic, easy and digestible (like Chil being a kid, and then him being a virtuous ✨✨✨husband), and where she needs to learn to value aesthetics less and actual acts and facts more, be more grounded (like seeing people for what they are flaws and all, but seeing their virtues too, like accepting that people need money and not pulling through on principles of honor or unity shouldn’t get Namari shamed) and a part of that is accepting that Chilchuck is BOTH flawed and virtuous, a loving husband that still has shitty moods and fumbled his marriage so bad etc etc. So it’s like, her image of perfect prince charming that will whisk you away on an ethereal romance -> realistic flawed middle aged dad with personality issues and a failing marriage but who still is worthy of love and having his cute grand romance story and his happy ending.
Their arc together is literally learning to 1) see each other for how they are and not undermining their qualities and capacities etc etc while still not leaving flaws unchecked either and 2) opening up to people. Marcille LITERALLY makes Chil open his heart up to hope like idk man. What do you want from me. He’s literally the guy helping her through deconstructing novels and fantasy and rose tinted glasses and like. Deconstructing the prince charming figure into something more real but still a virtuous husband like KUI KUI STOOOOP STOP I’M ALREADY HOOKED I’M ALREADY-
#Dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#analysis#character analysis#Meta#Marcille donato#chilchuck tims#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#spoilers#The day has finally come#Initially I just wanted to share the kabru bit but then I realized that you need so many building blocks to see my vision oogh#Marchil#Marchil bc the analysis is about their relationship in canon not bc this is a truthism post to be clear. Pls give this a chance#if i've ever managed to amass good faith with you and the topic interests you even just a bit please read this... Please maybe perhaps...#Y’all know me i analyze every second of chil’s life. Would I stab you in the back. Trust meeee#I’m here for a fun time pls pls no sending me hate just take the hot take or don’t#If you wanna know why i’m most brainrotted about marcille n chil in dunmeshi this is why!!! This!!#'what do marchilers see with their special eyes' GESTURES TO THIS!!! Welcome to the marchil necronomicon#started this analysis in january of 2024 send help#Flexing my literature analysis diploma… Insane overthinking shit layers deep like we did in college.#Dragging the subtext into the light-kicking screaming#this is so long and wordy sorry i'm attempting to communicate why their arc is so magical to me. Also I don't want my post to be misconstru#Fumi going deranged simulator descending into madness. This makes me ILL and TINFOIL HAT whenever I work on it like oh my god#RATTLING THE BARS OF MY CAGEEEE#it's all connected it's all So Much they make me want to BARF so much my mind expands. help#They were literally (narratively) made to complement each other and change each other for the better I'm so okay#fumi rambles#Man Marcille’s “from idealizing him to liking him even for all his flaws bc his personality is often kinda shitty” arc#and Chilchuck’s “prejudice against elves and mages into respect and trust” arc are everything to me#“Come back this instant *princess*!!! Smh smh what are we going to do with you” reenactment of the dunlord scene in spirit <3
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strangesmallbard ¡ 2 days ago
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i do think it’s interesting that severance fans often default to discussing the outties and innies as two separate people—like yes, functionally, they are right now. lumon does its best in-universe to separate outties and innies. for example: banning contact between outties and their innies’ coworkers, banning contact between outties and innies themselves. they create that distance and the fantastic acting also helps create that distance. it’s fundamentally important to the show that we acknowledge that difference.
and like. yes it’s a philosophy question: at what point do outties and innies become truly different people? is a person stored in their memories, their upbringing, or their instincts? etc. as we’ve seen so far, this separation creates some of the most fucked up consent issues you’ve ever seen. but also, and this is so easy to forget, there is also no separation. mark scout is mark s, helena eagan is helly r, and visa-versa. one is just missing necessary history and context to be the other person, but the vestiges remain. essentially: i don’t think they can truly become two different people and therein lies some tension.
for example: mark s has mark scout’s frankly impressive ability to repress any and all grief-related emotions. (i was wondering yesterday, actually, whether an innie who experiences some of the same life events as their outtie will eventually morph into them. like a manual reintegration.) another example someone else brought up: helly r has helena eagan’s entitlement and strong belief in her own personhood.
the outtie vs innie conception is particularly interesting when it comes to how fans discuss helly r/helena eagan. many people love helly and hate helena and it has me going “huh!” because, like. that could be the same gal! in different fonts. they both want to believe they’re completely different and want everyone else to believe that too. but we’ve been shown differently.
i’ve also seen some cognitive dissonance in discussing helly r/helena’s actions, which is also very interesting. there’s a very human urge to paint one as evil, the other good. but that’s never how it goes. yeah irving says “helly was never cruel” but he’s biased! (which is a good thing! i love when characters are biased). helly tried to kill helena last season (i know i just said they’re not separate people, but helly doesn’t agree with me). in season 2, helena stole her body and assaulted mark s. again, absolutely insane consent issues inherent in the severance process. (maybe it doesn’t come down to the good/evil dichotomy at all but rather: power. who has the power and when are they justified to wield or fight it)
anyway! no tl;dr. just food for thought. please try to enjoy each sentence equally etc
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simplysamiblog ¡ 8 hours ago
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The weight of a perfect goodbye
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Before I even begin sharing my thoughts, I need to make one very important thing clear: I am a firm believer in the theory that Jayce and Viktor survived the ending of Arcane. As far as I’m concerned, they were teleported through time and space and are now slowly, painstakingly rebuilding their lives. Together, of course.
I’ve read dozens of (amazing) fanfics where this is exactly how their story unfolds, and some are so well-written that I honestly consider them canon.
That said.
I’ve seen several discussions online about this very topic:
"The creators confirmed it: they’re dead."
"The creators don’t know anything, they’re alive."
"Accept it, they were disintegrated by the Rune."
And so on.
But here’s what I think (not that it matters to anyone or carries any weight at all):
We can’t completely dismiss or outright reject the idea that, yes, Jayce and Viktor are, unfortunately, dead. At some level, we need to accept it—to believe it.
But let me explain why.
Not out of respect for the creators, the canon, the fandom, or anything like that. But out of love for the story, for the essence of their narrative.
At the risk of sounding cliché, do you really think Arcane would have been just as special if Jayce and Viktor had survived? Can you picture the scene? The protagonists recover, the fog of war and chaos clears, and there they are—Jayce and Viktor—standing atop the Hexgates, smiling. Ah, what a happy ending. What a good ending.
Sure. Nice. Nothing more.
Or imagine if we had gotten something like: "And they remained like brothers forever." Ugh.
It’s cruel, it’s unfair, it’s heartbreaking—
But it’s perfect.
The chain of events (cough) that led to that moment, the sacrifice that sealed their fate—
The relationship between Jayce and Viktor would never have been as impactful otherwise. Personally, I don’t think I fully grasped the depth of their bond until their foreheads rested against each other. In that moment of resignation, of acceptance.
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Their story, their magic, was beautiful precisely because it ended right then, in that instant.
Jayce asked Viktor, "Why did you ever give me this?"
He could have let him die in the storm. Or, if he wanted to be more merciful, he could have simply saved him without giving him the Rune—
The world would have been safe. The world would have been saved.
But…
The world wasn’t as important as the moments they shared. Their friendship, their collaboration, their bond.
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Viktor couldn’t deny another Viktor those moments. That brief but immense joy. Those years in which he had truly lived.
They were stronger than everything—stronger than everyone—
Even stronger than death.
And that’s why, in a way, their death is precisely what makes them so wonderful.
Call it cliché or a bit of a stretch, but the first comparison that comes to mind is Romeo and Juliet. Would it really be the most famous love story if they hadn’t met their tragic end?
"Happily ever after."
Or—
"Never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo."
Sure, they might have survived, somewhere. And it’s absolutely valid to believe that.
But if not for that ending, for that terrible, heartbreaking moment, how much would we have missed out on? How many incredible fanfictions wouldn’t exist? How many fanarts, how many works of art would we have been unknowingly deprived of?
We’ll never know, and I don’t want to know.
Because what we have is amazing.
So yes, I accept the idea that they’re dead—because it makes the fantasy that they’re alive and in love so much sweeter.
But most of all, it makes their relationship a game of fate, something they built around each other. A perfect circle, an inseparable chain binding them as one.
Pulling them together, pushing them apart—only to bring them back to each other again.
Over and over.
Forever.
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itslenagain ¡ 2 days ago
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"You, there!" the regal voice calls down the hallway.
Shit. I'm toast.
Mother taught me three very important things about visiting Olympus - one, never reveal that I am a child of Zeus. Two, never steal anything from the Temple. And three, most important of all, NEVER allow my existence to be discovered by Hera.
And who but Hera, my unaware-but-still-somehow-wicked stepmother, would happen to be entering the hallway at the same time I attempted to duck into the kitchen for a late night snack.
"Why are you up at this hour?"
My mind races, searching for a way to escape. I'm surrounded by dead ends. I wonder briefly how severe my injuries would be if I attempted to jump out a window. My heart races as incoming footsteps signal my inevitable demise.
Except, when I turn my face to hers, I can tell that Hera has been crying.
She studies me for a moment. "Who are you?"
Shit. SHIT.
"I'm, ah, Eulalia," I lie. "New in town."
She continues to stare me down in suspicion. I'm so fucked. I have to think fast...
"Hera? Why are you up so late?"
She's briefly surprised by the question, but regains her composure quickly. "I was feeling snackish. It looks as though you were also headed to the kitchen." After a pause, she adds, "You may accompany me, if you wish."
I watch her face, and I am perplexed. I should run. I should get myself far away from Hera, as fast as I can. But instead, I find myself nodding gently. Something so achingly familiar to me hides behind her icy gaze.
She glides past me into the kitchen, gauzy green robe trailing softly behind her. I nervously grab a pear from the counter and sit at the small table.
"...is that it?" Hera says, raising an eyebrow. I blush. She sizes me up for a moment, and seems to come to some unspoken conclusion. "If you tell anyone about what I am about to show you, I will personally kill you." I swallow down the rising bile in my throat and let out a far-too-anxious laugh. She opens the refrigerator and reaches for something in the back. "Now, this is a snack worth getting out of bed for." She pulls out a container full of spinach and carrots and places it carefully on the table. She brushes her hands over the lid, and her eyes glow. When she takes off the lid...
"Melopita!" I exclaim. She looks at me sternly. My hands fly up to my mouth.
"Don't make me regret sharing." She cuts a generous slice and places it in front of me. I tear into the slice with a ferocity that rivals a lion hungrily taking down its prey. I hear her laugh. Her eyes are still puffy, but she looks... softer. Lighter, even.
She positions her knife to cut a small slice of the melopita, and this time, I am the one to shoot her a look. "Is that it?" I ask playfully. She moves the knife a little. "Oh, come on. Is that worth getting out of bed for?!" She moves it a little more and looks at me, eyebrow raised. She lets out a huff. She chucks the knife into the sink and grabs a spoon. "YES!" I cheer. She laughs again. The sound warms me to my core. I wonder how often she allows herself to be vulnerable in this way.
We sit for a moment in silence, enjoying the sweet treat. "So, what's your story?" She asks. I gulp. "Married? Kids? Anything?"
"Not married, no kids. As for the rest... Well, uh. I'm still figuring it out, honestly."
"Aren't we all," Hera sighs. She looks at her feet.
Before any sense of self preservation can convince me not to speak, my mouth is forming words. "Hera, are you okay?"
She's taken aback. Her face becomes stone once again. "Of course I am okay. What a stupid thing to ask," she says coldly. I should have stayed quiet. I should walk away now and never speak to her again.
Instead, I speak to her again. "I don't mean to upset you. I just wondered if anyone has ever asked you that before."
Hera says nothing. She silently rises from her seat and crosses to the door frame. She hesitates before crossing the threshold. "I don't need anyone to worry about me." She says firmly.
"Maybe not, but I'm still gonna."
She stiffens. Then, she walks away without another word.
~~~
Later that week, I find myself making a familiar late-night pilgrimage to the kitchen. I listen carefully as I maneuver the halls of the Temple, checking around the corners before turning. She's nowhere in sight. I hope it stays that way.
I walk down the same corridor where I encountered Hera for the first time. The walls are lined with pictures of my father and his brothers. I pause next to one where Zeus and Hera stand together. His authoritative expression dominates the portrait. His arm is wrapped firmly around his wife, his sister. Hera's eyes are cold and empty.
When I see her sat at the table in the kitchen, they're red and wet.
She looks up at me. Her mouth opens, but no words come out. My heart breaks for her.
I cross to the refrigerator and pull out my own secret container. "Chocolate ice cream?" She nods.
We sit together in silence. I watch her shovel spoonfuls of ice cream into her mouth. Her long hair hangs limply about her head. I want to hug her and tell her it will all be okay, and I want to run away and hope she forgets all about me. Both are true. I am terrified.
It becomes a ritual. I watch Hera lead beside her husband by day with steely-eyed ruthlessness. An then, in that small kitchen in the middle of the night, I come to sit with her quietly while she cries. She never says a word, and neither do I.
~~~
Before I know what is happening, someone is pulling me into a closet. I nearly lose my balance, but slender arms wrap around me, covering my mouth. The door closes and the lock clicks. For a brief, horrifying moment, I am plunged into complete darkness, and unable to call for help. "Don't scream," a voice hisses into my ear. The lights flip on.
Before me stands a tall woman in an iridescent gown. Iris. Her arms are crossed, eyes narrowed. The hand comes off of my mouth. I turn to see another woman still holding my body back. Iris takes a step closer to me and leans in. "What are your intentions with my mistress?"
"...What?"
"Hera might seem like an easy target to you, but she's your worst nightmare" she hisses. "What are you planning?"
"I don't understand," I choke. "I'm not planning anything."
Iris stares at me for a long time. She puts a hand on my shoulder and leans so closely into my face that I can feel her breath on my cheek. "I know who you are. I know what you are. And if you hurt her, I will tell her everything, and she will end you, Ophelia."
My blood turns cold. I feel my hands growing numb. "I-I don't want to hurt her. I'm not trying to, I swear. She seems like she needs some help."
"I can help her," Iris hisses. Her eyes stay fixed on me. Her lip twists in disgust. Is this... jealousy? I feel the heat return to my cheeks.
"It's not like that!" Her eyes hit me like daggers. "She's my aunt!"
Iris continues to stare me down. Whatever she hopes to find, she doesn't. She lets out a sharp exhale. She motions to the woman behind me to let me go. Iris looks at me again. "She's a hard person to get close to, trust me. I didn't understand." She unlocks the door. "As long as you're just trying to help... well, I'll keep your secret if you keep mine." I nod. "No funny business, okay?"
I smirk. She rolls her eyes at me.
~~~
Tonight, when I enter the empty kitchen, I am surprised to feel a certain sadness about it. How have I gone from being afraid of Hera, to being her silent confidant? I sit down at the table. The empty seat across from mine feels unnatural.
"Hi," a voice says from behind me. I turn to see Hera standing in the doorway of the kitchen. "Can we take a walk?"
The garden outside the Temple is illuminated by a mixture of moonlight and tiny lanterns. "Why do you keep showing up?"
"...For snacks?"
Hera snorts. "If it was just about snacks, you could come earlier or later and avoid me." I look at my feet. "I give you part of me. You've seen me cry. Nobody sees that. Give me something. Please."
I stop walking. Hera turns to face me. I take a deep breath. "Two years ago, I was going to be married. It was something my mother chose for me. His family was wealthy and influential. I had some type love for him, don't get me wrong... but it wasn't the kind of love I want. He loved the fact that he had control over me. He loved me only when I submitted to the things he wanted. I had to be the kind of person he could love in order for him to love me, even if it meant being someone, something, that I absolutely am not." I feel my hands shake. I breathe in, and then out. "He lied to me. He cheated on me. He physically and verbally abused me." I swat at the tears rolling down my cheeks. "Walking away was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I didn't have anyone to help me through it."
I feel arms wrap around me. I lean in to her warmth. The sobs rip through me. My chest heaves. Hera strokes my hair. I realize that she is crying too. I hug her tight.
"...I'm not ready to walk away yet," Hera sobs.
I put my hands on her shoulders and look her in the eyes. "It's okay. Just know that I'm here for you no matter what you decide."
We stand together for a while, arm-in-arm. "Can I ask you one more thing?"
"What's up?"
"Can I call you my niece, Ophelia?"
My heart drops. "You know?"
Hera looks at me, an eyebrow raised. "I was going to kill you." I feel myself growing pale. She just laughs. "I found out the morning after we met, and I wanted to kill you. But I remembered what you said. And then I had this strange feeling that fate brought us together for a reason." She pulls my still-stunned figure into another hug. "Thank you for worrying about me. Maybe with your support, one day, I will be ready."
"As one of Zeus bastard children, you are doomed to be targeted by Hera, however you found a way to get on the queens good side before she found out who your father is. "
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sunseed-fandump ¡ 2 days ago
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I saw your tarot analyses, do you have one for the reading in episode 7, the one Fortune Teller Cookie gives the gang in the inn?
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*Cracks knuckles*
Alright, first one is a card everyone recognizes, because it's symbolism was used repeatedly throughout both episodes 7 and 8.
XVI - The Tower. Upright, it represents disaster, destruction, upheaval, trauma, sudden change, and chaos.
"The Tower represents change in the most radical and momentous sense. It is for this reason that the card itself visually looks so unnerving. But it doesn't necessarily have to be truly frightening or ominous. Because at the heart of this card, its message is foundational, groundbreaking change.
The kind of event that the Tower card marks does not have to be something terrible, like a disaster or a great loss. Change itself is a normal part of life that one has to embrace. But it can sometimes strike fear, for it means that we must abandon the truths that we have known prior to this event. The old ways are no longer useful, and you must find another set of beliefs, values and processes to take their place."
Next in the lineup seems to be VI - The Lovers. It stands for love, unions, partnerships, relationships, choices, romance, balance, and unity.
"The primary meaning within the Lovers is harmony, attractiveness, and perfection in a relationship. The trust and the unity that the lovers have gives each of them confidence and strength, empowering the other. The bond that they have created is very strong, and it can indicate that the two are joined in marriage, and other close and intimate relationships.
Another meaning behind the lovers card is the concept of choice - a choice between things that are opposing and mutually exclusive. This could be a dilemma that you need to think about carefully and make the best decision for your situation.
A more personal Lovers meaning that can apply to individuals is the development of your own personal belief systems, regardless of what are the societal norms. This is one of the times when you figure out what you are going to stand for, and what your philosophy in life will truly be. You must start making up your mind about what you find important and unimportant in your life. You should be as true to yourself as you can be, so you will be genuine and authentic to the people who are around you."
Now this last one really stumped me, as the symbolism doesn't seem to be too consistent with common depictions I'm familiar with. Then I remembered that these are Shadow Milk-ified Tarots that are supposed to be ominous looking. And then I also remembered that in some depictions of XIX - The Sun, the sun itself is drawn with a single massive eye. And I highly doubt an emo like Truthless Recluse would have a card depicting a happy sunny day in his deck. So we're going to continue assuming this is supposed to be The Sun. If I wind up being wrong, I'll just make an amendment later.
Upright, The Sun represents happiness, success, optimism, vitality, joy, confidence, happiness, and truth.
"The Sun card represents success, abundance, and radiance. Like the sun itself, it gives strength and vitality to all those that are lucky enough to feel its rays. There is much joy and happiness that is coming to you.
Because of your own personal fulfillment, you provide others with inspiration and joy as well. People are drawn to you because they are capable of seeing the warm and beautiful energy which you bring into their lives. You are also in a position in which you are capable of sharing your qualities as well as achievements with other people. You radiate love and affection towards those you care about the most."
All together, this could be seen as one big summary of PV's arc in this story. His emotional spiral, the choice he has to make between embracing despair or fighting through it, followed by his eventual Awakening. But then, what about what TR wrote while giving this reading?
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Despite the optimism of the last card, I think TR - and by extension PV... Doubted himself. After all, when presented with a choice, it's always possible to make the wrong decision. And perhaps he was trying to spare himself the need to even make that choice in the first place with this warning. At this point, the Awakening hadn't happened yet, and TR hadn't seen the final outcome of that choice. He hadn't seen his Awakened self.
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He's so very happy at the end that he wound up making the right one.
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