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selene-writes · 5 months ago

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Hellfire- Pilot part 1

Hi! This is part one of the Pilot. W.C- 5,057 (its a long one) Warnings for this chapter include angst? and swearing. This is an 18+ fic

The two of you opted to leave that night in the Impala, as it made more sense to travel together given that you had been driving around in a stolen car.

As you drove on, the weight of uncertainty hung heavy in the air. "Where should we go?" you asked, breaking the tense silence that had settled between you and Dean.

Dean remained uncharacteristically quiet for a moment, his eyes focused straight ahead on the road ahead. Just when you began to think he hadn't heard your question, his voice cut through in a gruff tone. "California."

Your eyes widened in alarm, instantly understanding what Dean was suggesting. "No, Dean, don't even think about it. He's out," you said firmly.

"Damn it, Jane! Don't you get it? Nobody gets out!" Dean's reply came sharp, his frustration with the past clear.

"He did," you retorted, your tone unwavering as you met Dean's intense gaze. You refused to back down.

Dean fell silent, the tension in the car thickening as he processed your words. After a moment he sighed. "But still," he said reluctantly, "he's still his dad, and I'm still his brother. He deserves to know."

Sensing Dean's withdrawal from the conversation as he turned up the radio, you frowned and turned to gaze out the window at the passing scenery. The blur of lights and shadows outside mirrored the complexities swirling within you. A part of you knew Dean was right—Sam deserved to know the truth, and Dean would never have reached out for help if he wasn't genuinely afraid.

"Dean Winchester... scared," you thought silently to yourself. The thought would have seemed ludicrous in your younger days, but now it just showed how serious the circumstances were.

You sighed softly and closed your eyes, allowing the familiar strains of Metallica to wash over you.

I never opened myself this way,

Life is ours we live it our way

All these words I just don't say

And nothing else matters

Sam and Dean had always been your closest friends, practically brothers since childhood. Growing up, you often pondered why Bobby Singer, the man who raised you, seemed distant at times. It wasn't until you turned seven that he finally sat you down for the "you were adopted" conversation, which shed light on his occasional coldness. Sometimes you swore he looked at you like you were some disgusting… thing.

Despite the occasional look that made you feel like an unwanted outsider, Bobby was still better than the infamous John Winchester. Out of the three of you, you were the middle child, two years younger than Dean and two years older than Sam.

The memory of your first meeting with the Winchesters remained vivid in your mind.

It was a quiet afternoon at home, with Bobby off on a routine salt and burn hunt, leaving you tasked with cleaning guns and securing the house. "I need you to help me clean the guns and hold down the fort while I’m gone," he had said, emphasizing the importance of your role. Initially annoyed at being left behind, you reluctantly accepted. As you meticulously cleaned the weapons, the sound of a car pulling up outside caught your attention. Peering cautiously through the window, you expected to see Bobby's truck, but instead, a sleek black Impala appeared.

Instinctively, you grabbed a gun and took cover behind a wall near the entrance, heart racing. The door swung open, and without hesitation, you aimed your weapon at the intruder.

"Hands up, you damn idjit!" you yelled, adrenaline pumping through you. To your surprise, the intruder turned out to be a boy, slightly older than you, with a mischievous look in his eyes. He immediately threw his hands up in surrender, and promptly busted into laughter.

"What's so funny?" you demanded, trying to maintain a stern demeanor despite your small frame and young age.

He continued chuckling until Bobby and another man, holding a young child appeared from around the corner. Bobby, with a mixture of concern and relief, swiftly disarmed you. "Easy there, kiddo. We've got visitors."

"I'm John," the stranger introduced himself, extending a hand toward you. You hesitated, eyeing him warily, deciding not to respond. After a moment, John withdrew his hand, understanding your skepticism. "This is my son, Sam," he gestured towards the toddler cradled in his arms, "and my son..."

"Dean," the older boy interjected, his gaze fixed on you with a mix of curiosity and something you couldn't quite place.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You smiled at the memory. Most five-year-olds didn't clean guns, but you were among the few raised in the hunter's life—just like Sam, Dean, and a handful of others. Yet, you knew you were luckier. It had always been you and Bobby against the world. You had no one else to lose, unlike the Winchester boys who had lost their mom and Dean who had lost his childhood. The smile on your face faded as you thought about the weight they carried from such a young age.

"You may want to close your eyes. This is going to take a while," Dean's voice broke through your reverie, pulling you back to the present moment. You nodded and shut your eyes.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Much to your annoyance, Dean had let you sleep the entire way. As you arrived at your destination, the lingering unease of your nightmare still weighed on your mind.

"Dean, what the fuck are you doing?" you whispered sharply, glaring up at Dean as he effortlessly climbed the fire escape leading to Sam's room.

"What does it look like?" Dean retorted with a mischievous grin before resuming the climb. You cursed yourself for ever letting Dean know which room belonged to Sam.

"You coming?" Dean called down to you, pausing mid-climb to look back. With a sigh, you pushed aside memories of times before Sam left, trying to focus on the present.

"Yeah," you muttered, steeling yourself before beginning the climb up after him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two years earlier (the day Sam left for Stanford):

"I'm so proud of you, Sam," you said with a smile, gazing up at his towering figure.

"I wouldn't have gone if it wasn't for you, Jane," Sam replied earnestly, his eyes locking with yours.

"That's not true," you started, but he cut you off gently.

"It is. You've been my best friend," Sam insisted, his voice soft.

You opened your mouth to respond, to tell him that he was yours too, but before the words could form, his lips met yours. For a brief moment, you melted into the kiss, clinging to his shirt as years of unspoken feelings seemed to align. It was a moment you had longed for, yet when Sam suddenly pulled away, you realized tears were streaming down your cheeks.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked softly, concern etching his features as he gently moved back, prompting you to reach out and stop him from leaving.

"Nothing, it's just... I'll miss you," you admitted, your smile bittersweet.

Sam's expression softened even more, and he stepped closer, his hands tenderly brushing away your tears. "I won't forget you, Jane," he whispered against your lips, his promise comforting.

Every word, every touch, remains etched in your memory like it happened yesterday.

But the last time you had heard from him was a year and a half ago, Sam had eventually stopped communicating with you altogether,

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now

"Easy tiger," Dean's voice echoed softly as you slipped through the open window into the dark room. The outlines of the brothers were barely visible on the floor– with Dean currently pinning Sam down.

"Dean?" Sam's voice cut through the darkness, sending a flutter through your heart and a twist in your stomach. "You scared the hell out of me."

"That's 'cause you're out of practice," Dean replied with a smirk, clearly enjoying his advantage. Sam frowned slightly, then swiftly flipped Dean over, reversing their positions.

"Or not," Dean grumbled as he found himself beneath Sam's weight. "Get off me," he demanded, scowling as Sam stood up, pulling Dean to his feet. They both turned towards you, their figures illuminated as the lights suddenly flickered on.

“Jane?" Sam's confusion was evident, quickly melting into something warmer as he approached you with a smile. You held your breath as he enveloped you in a hug.

"Hi, Sam," you murmured, returning the embrace, aware of the unwanted effect he still had on you.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Sam asked after pulling back slightly.

"I was looking for a beer," Dean chimed in, laughing as he clapped Sam on the shoulder. You rolled your eyes, about to explain when a pretty blonde woman emerged from the back room.

Sam?" she called out, her gaze shifting between the three of you. "Hey, Jess," Sam replied, introducing Dean and then towards you. You winced inwardly.

"Dean, your brother?" she inquired, turning to Dean before glancing at you. Your stomach twisted as the realization sank in: Sam had never mentioned you to her, his childhood friend. Pushing the pang aside, you forced a smile.

"Childhood friend. Nice to meet you," you said warmly.

"Likewise," Jess replied warmly, though a flicker of curiosity passed over her features.

"I love the Smurfs," Dean interjected, his eyes drifting appreciatively over Jess's appearance.

"You know, I have to tell you," Dean began to approach her with a flirty tone, "you are way out of my brother's league."

"And yours," you added, earning a glare from Dean and a knowing look shared with Sam.

"I should probably get dressed," Jess interjected, rolling her eyes but giving a small smile.

"No, no, I wouldn't dream of it. Seriously," Dean assured her before turning back to Sam and you. "Anyway, I need to borrow your boyfriend here," he said, crossing his arms and giving Sam a pointed look. Dean had certainly made an impression.

Jess nodded slightly, giving a small smile before excusing herself to another room. Sam wasted no time in closing the distance between you all and grabbing her hand.

"Anything you need to say, you can say in front of Jess," Sam declared firmly, placing a protective arm around her shoulders. Before Dean could respond, you spoke up.

"Your dad hasn't been home for a few days," you said, locking eyes with Sam, hoping he'd understand the urgency in your tone and the meaning in your words.

"He's probably just working overtime," Sam replied casually. Dean replied, his voice low and serious.

"Dad's on a hunting trip and hasn't been home in a few days," Dean stated bluntly, his eyes darkening with concern. Sam's expression hardened immediately. Without breaking eye contact with either of you, he turned to Jess with a strained smile.

"Jess, excuse us,"

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

After some back and forth, Sam agreed to come down to the parking lot to talk.

"Where the hell did I put that thing?" Dean muttered, elbow-deep in the trunk filled with an array of deadly weapons. You stood on one side of him, Sam on the other.

"When John left, why didn’t you go with him?" you asked, studying Dean’s focused expression as he continued his search through the unorganized trunk.

"I was on my own gig, a voodoo thing in New Orleans," Dean replied casually.

"Dad let you go on a hunting trip by yourself?" Sam's surprise was evident in his voice, causing you to laugh.

"I'm 26, dude," Dean retorted with a smirk, before turning his attention back to the trunk and finally locating the papers he was searching for.

"Dad checked out a two-lane blacktop outside of Jericho, California," Dean informed you both, sorting through the papers. "About a month ago, they found this guy's car, but he was gone." He handed you a news article and continued flipping through more documents.

"Maybe he was kidnapped?" you suggested, passing the article to Sam.

"There were others," Dean added, showing you more papers with different men's faces. "One in April '04, '03, '98, '92—ten disappearances in the last twenty years."

"All men," Sam observed, handing the paper back to Dean.

"And all on the same 5-mile stretch of road," Dean confirmed with a nod. "The frequency picked up, so Dad went to investigate. That was three weeks ago," he paused, glancing between Sam and you. "I hadn't heard from him until yesterday," he continued, pulling out his phone and playing a message.

"Dean, something's happening. I think it's serious. I need to try and find out what's going on," John Winchester's voice crackled through the static. "Be careful, Dean. We're all in danger."

Your brow furrowed as Sam spoke up, "You know there's an EVP on this?"

You looked at Sam and grinned, impressed. "Not bad, Sammy," you said.

"Alright," Dean said, pressing a button his phone. "I slowed the message down and ran it through a gold wave, took out the hiss, and this is what I got."

A woman's voice whispered eerily: "I can never go home”

"I can never go home," you echoed, feeling a chill run down your spine as you glanced between the brothers, both wearing matching frowns. Dean closed the trunk and turned to Sam.

"You know, I haven't asked you for anything in two years. I haven't bothered you," Dean leaned against the trunk, facing Sam, while you stood opposite, arms crossed.

Sam sighed, looking between you and Dean before giving in. "Fine, I'll go. But I have to be back on Monday."

"What happens Monday?" Dean questioned stubbornly.

"I have an interview," Sam replied firmly.

"An interview?" Dean scoffed, clearly unimpressed. You rolled your eyes at his dismissive tone, something you found yourself doing a lot lately.

"It's a law school interview. It determines my future," Sam explained, his irritation evident.

"Law school?" Dean said in disbelief.

"Do we have a deal or not?"

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Law school?" Dean questioned skeptically as you both leaned against the trunk. Sam had gone inside to gather his things and talk to Jess.

"Yup, and I don’t want to hear you two fighting over it," you replied firmly, turning to face Dean with a knowing look.

"But why law—" Dean began, but you cut him off before he could finish.

"Not a word," you insisted, flashing him stern look. "I can't handle you two arguing."

"Alright, alright," Dean relented. "By the way, were you working on a case when I showed up?"

"No, actually. I had wrapped it up the night before. It was a simple salt and burn, but I decided to stay one more night," you explained, noticing your breath in the cold night air.

"Why's that?" Dean inquired, studying your expression.

"Just a feeling, I guess," you shrugged, trying to brush off the vague sense of premonition that had kept you there.

"You knew something would happen. You knew you had to stay. Freak," a voice taunted in your head, but you pushed it away with a deep breath.

"Well, I'm glad you stayed as long as you did. Otherwise, I wouldn't have known where you are, and I would've had to go look for you," Dean admitted, his tone serious and grateful. "Thanks for coming with me and helping me find my dad."

"Of course," you replied warmly, meeting Dean's gaze with sincerity. "I'd do anything for you guys."

The three of you settled into a nearby motel for the night, deciding to regroup and start fresh in the morning. For a brief moment, watching Sam and Dean banter and bicker, you felt a pang of nostalgia for simpler times. It reminded you of childhood, when being together meant everything would be okay. Despite Dean’s reluctance to admit it, things felt off without Sam—less hopeful, somehow.

You smiled to yourself, savoring the feeling in that fleeting moment, you wished you could freeze time. But reality intruded, reminding you that nothing lasts forever.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So, it looks like there's nobody matching Dad at the hospital or morgue, so that's something I guess,” Sam said, closing his phone. You were in the backseat, coming up to the bridge where the most recent disappearance occurred.

“Check it out,” you said, nodding your head towards the police cars on the bridge. You could see two officers. Dean pulled the car over and reached over you to open the glove compartment. Sam leaned forward to get a better view. Dean pulled a box from the glove compartment and opened it, revealing a stash of badges and fake IDs. He pulled out two federal marshal badges for him and Sam, and you grabbed your own from your bag.

“Let's go,” Dean said, opening the door.

As the three of you drew nearer to the police you began to overhear them speaking in hushed tones.

"It's almost too clean," the younger officer remarked, peering into the car. Your gaze followed his, landing on the blood-stained window, and you couldn't help but grimace at the sight.

“You had another one like this last month, didn’t you?” Dean asked as the three of you approached them from behind. Without waiting for their response he began pacing around the car, examining it.

“And you are?” The older officer asked, suspicious, his gaze lingering on Dean.

“Federal Marshalls.” Dean replies smoothly, flashing his badge quickly before returning it to his back pocket.

“You three are a little young for federal marshals, aren’t you?” he asked, full of doubt and skepticism.

“Thanks, that's awfully kind of you,” Dean replied, chuckling and walking to the other side of the car, where the younger officer stood. "You did have another one like this, didn’t you?” Dean pressed, directing his question to the closer officer.

"Yeah, that's right, a mile up the road. There have been others before that," the officer confirmed, his voice grave.

So, this victim, you knew him?” Sam interjected earnestly.

"In a town like this, everybody knows everybody," the older officer replied, nodding at Sams question. The two officers shared a look.

"Any connection to any of the victims besides the fact that they're all men?" you finally spoke up, breaking the uneasy silence that hung over you.

“No, not as far as we can tell,” the older cop said, meeting my gaze.

“So, what's the theory?” Sams voice cut in, he was looking across the bridge and down the road.

"Honestly, we don’t know," the older cop admitted, shaking his head in frustration.

“Serial murderer, kidnapping ring?” the man shook his head, clearly confused by the question.

“Well, that is exactly the crack police work I’d expect out of you guys.” Dean said striding over to where Sam and you stood. You could have smacked him but Sam, stepping beat you to it, stepping on Deans foot before you could. The officer's expression darkened, his patience clearly wearing thin.

Thank you for your time," you spoke up quickly, offering a small smile, attempting to defuse the citation.

“Gentlemen, ma’am,” the younger man said, nodding his head.

The three of you started walking back towards the car, not saying anything. You continued walking forward, in front of both the brothers, only turning when you heard a loud smack.

"Ow, what was that for?" Sam exclaimed, rubbing his head and staring at Dean with a mix of disbelief and annoyance.

“Why do you have to step on my foot?” Dean shot back defensively

“Why do you have to talk to the police like that? They were already suspicious,” You interjected, annoyed with how the encounter had gone.

“Come on, they don’t really know what's going on. If we’re gonna find Dad, we have to do this ourselves,” Dean asserted firmly, halting in his tracks and turning to face both you and Sam. It was then that you noticed a pair of real federal marshals approaching from behind Dean—two men in sharp suits and another in a khaki uniform. Sam cleared his throat, catching Dean's attention just as the marshals reached your group.

“Can I help you all?” the marshal in the khaki uniform inquired, his eyes hidden behind a pair of dark sunglasses.

"No Sir" Dean replied, flashing his signature smile. The three of you walked quickly towards the impala, wanting to get the hell out of there before anyone caught on.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After questioning the authorities, you decided to talk to the victim's girlfriend and one of her friends at a local restaurant. It was the victim's girlfriend who eventually brought a local legend that had happened decades ago. She related the story of a young woman who had been murdered on Centennial Highway. According to the legend, her restless spirit haunted the stretch of road, appearing as a hitchhiker to unsuspecting travelers. Those who picked her up seemingly disappeared without a trace. As soon as you heard this story, the three of you exchanged a knowing glance, knowing it must be a spirit.

You decided to go to the library to find out all the information you can. The two brothers and you sat in the far corner, in front of a computer.

Now, after nearly two hours of pointless research, you were ready to call it a night."

So violent spirits are born out of violent deaths, right?" Sam's voice broke the quiet as he easily navigated the library computer's search bar. You nodded thoughtfully, your gaze fixed on the screen, strands of hair falling across your face. You tucked them behind your ear, your attention divided between the screen and Sam's presence.

"Maybe it's not murder," Sam thought aloud, adjusting his search. He deleted 'murder' and typed 'suicide' instead, hitting enter with a determined click. Almost instantly, the screen refreshed, revealing an article dated back to 1981, accompanied by a pretty but sad photograph of a woman named Constance Welch,

"Jumps off the Bridge, drowns in the water," Sam read aloud, his voice lowering as to not attract attention.

"Does it say why she did it?" Deans' eyes flickered between Sam and the screen."

Yeah," Sam replied, scrolling down the page. "An hour before they found her, she called 911." He paused; his voice tinged with empathy as he read. "Her two little kids are in the bathtub, she leaves them alone for one minute, and when she comes back, they aren’t breathing. Both died,"

"That's awful," you whispered softly, Dean humming in agreement.

"That bridge look familiar to you?" Dean asked, his voice low, breaking the silence that had settled over you. You leaned in closer to the computer screen, your eyes narrowing slightly as you recognized the familiar image in front of you.

"It's the same bridge," you confirmed quietly, your voice carrying a weight of realization. "The one we were on earlier today, where we found the car.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a chilly night and the moon shown through the pillars of the bridge. Sam, Dean, and you and you stood silently, gazing down at the murky river below. The sound of rushing water echoed faintly against the concrete pillars, adding an eerie setting to the night.

“So, this is where Constance took the swan dive,” Dean remarked, his voice tinged with curiosity as he peered into the depths beneath the bridge.

You turned to Sam, ignoring Deans remark. "So do you think your dad would have been here?" Your question hung in the air, a reminder of your mission.

"Well, he was chasing the same story, and we're chasing him," Dean replied matter-of-factly, his gaze shifting from the water to meet yours.

Sam's brow furrowed slightly; his expression thoughtful. "Okay, so now what?" he asked, his voice betraying a hint of anger as he and Dean began to move away from the railing.

"Now we keep digging until we find him," Dean declared, his determination evident in each deliberate step forward. "It might take a while."

Sam halted in his tracks, his gaze flickering between you and Dean. You fell into step beside Dean, casting a glance back at the river, you felt unsettled, but you followed them.

"Dean, I told you; I've got to get back by—" Sam began, his voice trailing off.

"Monday," Dean interjected, cutting him off with a knowing nod. "Right, the interview."

"Yeah," Sam acknowledged with a nod of his own.

"Right, I forgot," Dean retorted, as he locked eyes with Sam. "You're really serious about this, aren't you? You think you're just gonna become some lawyer, marry your girl?"

Your attempt to calm their brewing argument was cut short as Sam shot back, his voice laced with anger. "Maybe, why not?" He shot Dean a challenging glare, daring him to press further.

"Does Jessica know the truth about you?" Dean fired back, his words sharper now, brushing aside your attempt to intervene.

"No," Sam admitted, his jaw clenched. "And she's never going to know."

"Well, that's healthy," Dean scoffed, his tone mocking. "You can pretend all you want, Sammy, but you're gonna have to face up to who you really are."

"Dean, it's not your—" You tried to interject, but Sam's sharp voice redirected your attention.

"Who is that?" Sam's voice cut through the night, his sudden shift in tone catching both your and Dean's attention.

"One of us," Dean replied cryptically.

"No, I'm not gonna be like one of you guys, that isn’t my life," Sam asserted, his voice rising as he stepped forward to confront Dean, bringing you closer to the edge of the bridge. Yu tried to pretend that his words didn’t hurt.

"Well, you have a responsibility," Dean countered, he shrugged as he held his ground.

"To Dad and his crusade?" Sam challenged; his gaze unwavering as he locked eyes with Dean. You noticed Dean's fists clenching, his muscles tensing as he struggled to control his emotions.

"If it weren’t for pictures, I wouldn’t even know what Mom looked like. What difference would it make?" Sam's words cut through the night air, his voice thick with anger and frustration. Before you could intervene, Dean swiftly closed the distance, pinning Sam against one of the sturdy metal pillars of the bridge. Your heart raced with alarm as you ran towards them, calling out Dean's name.

"Dean!" you yelled urgently, closing in to try and separate them, but Dean's grip remained firm, his eyes locked fiercely on Sam's.

"Don't talk about her like that," Dean growled lowly, his voice carrying a certain intensity that echoed across the bridge.

Reluctantly, Dean released Sam and stepped back. Your attention, however, was drawn elsewhere—a woman in a white dress, standing creepily on the rail, catching your eye and making you freeze.

"Um, guys," you spoke up, your voice tinged with urgency as you pointed towards the woman. Both Sam and Dean turned to follow your gaze, their expressions mirroring your own.

She glanced back at the three of you before deliberately falling forward, disappearing into the darkness below with a chilling splash. Without a moment's hesitation, you sprinted towards the edge where she had jumped, the boys close behind you. Peering over the rail, you strained your eyes to spot any sign of her in the dark, gray waters below, but found nothing.

“Where’d she go?” Sam asked, peering over the edge.

“I don’t know,” you replied, holding your breath.

Sam, Dean and you stood frozen in shock, staring at the headlights of Dean's beloved Impala illuminating the darkened bridge.

“What the—" Sam began, his voice filled with disbelief, but his words were cut short by the unfolding chaos."

Who's driving your car?" you blurted out, eyes wide as you turned to Dean for an explanation. His hand emerged from his pocket, clutching the keys to the Impala and your stomach turned at the realization.

Before anyone could react further, the screech of tires filled the air, and the Impala lurched forward, headlights bright as it surged towards you with alarming speed. Panic surged within you, adrenaline flooding your veins as you screamed.

"SHIT!" you yelled at the top of your lungs, heart racing as you took off, sprinting, Sam and Dean close behind. The pounding of your feet on the hard pavement echoed alongside the relentless roar of the car's engine right behind you.

"Go! GO!" Sam's urgent cry spurred you forward, your muscles burning as you pushed yourself to run as fast as you can. The car closed the distance, its headlights casting shadows that flickered across the bridge.

With desperate urgency, Sam looked to the side, eyes widening as he saw the edge of the rail. Without hesitation, he veered towards it, his hand grasping the railing as he propelled himself over the edge.

You and Dean followed suit, the rush of air whipping past you as you jumped over the rail seconds before the Impala would have struck. For a terrifying moment, you teetered on the brink of the abyss, feeling the distance beneath you.

Just as you feared the plunge into the water, a strong grip closed around your arm. You looked up in a panic and saw Sam, his face set with determination as he held on tight, pulling you up and over the railing to safety. Gratefully, you clutched onto him, relief flooding through you as the ground felt solid beneath your feet.

"Thanks," you managed to gasp out, breathless and shaken.

"You're welcome," Sam replied, his grip firm and reassuring as he steadied you against the rail. Your gaze lingered on him for a moment longer than necessary, a silent acknowledgment from you throughout the chaos.

Below you, Dean surfaced from the river, his face a mixture of relief and exhilaration. Unsure whether it was the rush of survival or the look on Dean's mud-covered face but laughter bubbled up unexpectedly from you and Sam.

"Fuck you!" Dean's voice carried up from the water, his playful yet annoyed tone met with even more laughter from you and Sam,

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

One room, please,” Dean declared, sliding a debit card across the front desk. The elderly man behind the desk looked at Dean strangely but didn’t question why he was covered in dried mud.

You guys have a reunion or something?” the man asked, glancing at the card and then at us. I raised my eyebrows.

“What do you mean?” Sam replied, looking at the old man.

“That other guy, Bert Aframian, he came in and bought out a room for a month,” the man said, focusing on Sam. I shot a meaningful look at the two taller boys. John had definitely been here.

“And what room might that be?” I asked sweetly.

Next part

#spn angst #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester fanfiction #sam winchester x reader #spn fic #spn reader insert #spn rewrite #spn season 1 #sam winchester fanfiction #dean winchester #supernatural x fem!reader #spn oc

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zafirosreverie · 2 years ago

Text

The M word (Ajak x F!Reader) part 2

(part 1) (part 3)

____________________

fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

It was all you could think about as you ran as fast as your immortal legs would carry you. You didn't even bother to be careful with the relics that adorned the ship (priceless but dispensable), this was a life-or-death situation. You had to get to Ajak before Ikaris and avoid being hunted by Thena.

"Just wait for Makkari to come back!" you heard Kingo's voice behind you, probably having joined Thena in her hunt for you. "You can't escape this, Y/N!"

"Why can't you be a normal family?!" you yelled back, picking up your pace.

You knew the man was right, though. You were lucky to have discovered their plans while Makkari, Gilgamesh, Druig, and Sprite were away because any one of them could have easily stopped your escape.

Although, you had to admit that the whole situation was quite funny, at least you knew that you were accepted in this strange, large but beautiful family and that was something you were grateful for.

All the Eternals treated you with respect and affection, some as a child (Gilgamesh and Phastos), most as a sister, and Ajak...Ajak treated you as if you were the only important thing in the universe. It was a new feeling for you since you had spent too much time alone, but now you couldn't imagine a life without her, and you hoped you would be brave enough to tell her one day.

"Y/N!!"

But today would not be that day!

Thena yelled after you, snapping you out of your thoughts, and you managed to react just in time to dodge one of Kingo's energy balls. You smiled to yourself when you saw Ajak's door down the hall. Unless Makkari appeared out of nowhere, you were almost 100% safe.

"It's just a dress!"

"Over my dead body, Kingo!" you shouted back

"Don't tempt me, Y/N" Thena said and you could hear her smile grow on her beautiful face.

"Ajak!!!" you yelled "Come and control your sister, cousin, daughter, best friend, ex-girlfriend, or whatever the fuck Thena is to you!"

You could hear Kingo's laugh and the blonde's slightly amused grunt, but you didn't have time to think about it much when your girlfriend's door opened just in time to let you in, closing firmly behind you seconds later.

Because of the speed, you couldn't stop in time, so you ended up landing on the bed, rolling and crashing into the wall.

"Y/N! Are you okay?!"

You grunted and rubbed your nose as the woman knelt beside you, her hands ready to heal any scratch, however small, she might find on you.

"I'm fine" you said, letting her check your face "but this is getting out of hand"

"I know," she sighed, feeling a little better when your nose returned to its place "I thought they'd get over it after a while."

"It's been, what? Three months?"

"Five" she corrected you

"Five, and I think it's just given them more motivation" you said

Ajak sighed and leaned back against the bed, closing her eyes for a moment. She felt terribly guilty for dragging you into all this chaos. When the other Eternals started making jokes and teasing her about the M word, she believed that it would stay just an inside joke, something that, while it annoyed her a little, she could live with.

She hadn't expected Kingo and his (quite real, she might add) wedding plans to open a pandora's box in the family. You were surprised when you found out that the others wanted you to marry her, and it had been quite an uncomfortable conversation for her, trying to explain her feelings, and putting them into words, it wasn't her strong point.

But you had been kind, understanding, and joking, something light and not heavy enough to affect your relationship with her or the way you looked at her (something that terrified her), and for that, she was deeply grateful.

That's when things got intense. The others decided that they would not take no for an answer and that they had already been patient enough to wait for you to take that step yourself, so it was up to them to drag you down the aisle.

Ajak knew that none of them harbored bad feelings for you and that they really wanted to see you happy, she also knew that for the Eternals, this kind of thing lacked the weight that humans gave it, and that if it weren't for the long centuries that they had lived alongside humans, adopting customs they didn't fully understand, marriage would not even be considered at this point.

But the thing was, they didn't realize how awkward it could be for you. You were immortal, but not an Eternal, and you had lived among humans all your life, you understood their ways better than any of them could, and you knew what they were asking for. For you it wasn't just another title, it would really mean a change, and she was terrified to think that it could be for the worse.

"Are you ok?" you asked carefully when you noticed how quiet she was

"I just…I’m sorry" she whispered

"What?" you frowned "why?"

"It's my fault this is happening" she said, feeling the tears well up slowly in her eyes.

"Ajak, what are you talking about?"

"I'm the prime eternal, it's my duty to keep everyone in line, I should be able to order them to leave this matter alone...but I can't even make them respect me"

You gasped quietly and moved a little closer to her, putting an arm around her. It was not the first time that your girlfriend confessed to you that she felt powerless in front of the other Eternals, but you had never seen her cry about it.

"Ajak-"

"Arishem should have chosen Thena, not me" she continued "Thena is a warrior, she has the respect of everyone on the ship, she knows how to take care of herself, she is brave, her voice sounds all over the place and the others hear it, even Ikaris, no matter how much he denies it. She should be the leader, not me"

"But she's not" you said "Thena is all of that, yes, but that doesn't mean that you aren't the same or better than her to lead. Arishem chose you for a reason."

"Or by mistake"

It wasn't the first time the older woman had allowed her mind to disagree with Arishem either. Ever since she met you, or perhaps a little before, hints of doubt had begun to flourish in her, making her wonder if her duty was really worth the price the earth had to pay, if she really was strong enough to continue taking that decision, or if she should simply give up, renounce everything and expect punishment for her disobedience. Maybe she was a factory bug and it had just taken her millennia to start bugging.

But you weren't having any of that. You carefully eased yourself into a better position, spreading your legs so that she could fit between them, and gently pushing her until her back rested against your chest. Your hands encircled her waist and you intertwined your fingers with hers.

"You know? Gilgamesh is strong, but I've seen you lift 25 tons without breaking a sweat, Ikaris flies, but I've seen you do it too. Kingo's energy balls? I remember once you decorated the room with them. Phastos is brilliant, but he would have kept himself in his workshop if you weren't listening so intently. Druig and Sprite would have gone crazy if you didn't remind them that they have a family. Makkari is great, and we all try hard to keep up with her, but at the end of the day, it's you who understands her best, who listens to her even if not a sound comes out of her, and don't get me started on Sersi, we both know you're everything she aspires to be, she admires you more than anyone "

Ajak smiled a little to herself as she remembered the sparkle in the girl's eyes every time she stopped to talk to her or urged her to continue exploring her abilities. Of all the Eternals, Sersi felt like a daughter the most, even more than Sprite, and so she did her best to remind her that she saw her, that she was important.

"And Thena" you continued, feeling the woman tense a little "Thena is a warrior, she is beautiful and strong...but she is broken. Her mind is divided, she is not always herself and she can be dangerous, although we all know that she would never hurt us of her own free will. Gilgamesh helps her, but it's always you who brings her back, she needs you, just like the rest of us. Arishem wasn't wrong, he chose you because he knew only you could keep them all together. They're a team, but you're the one who makes them a family."

The woman closed her eyes again, letting more tears roll down her cheeks as a familiar warmth pooled in her stomach, just below where your hands met. She didn't understand how you always managed to make her feel better.

"I don't deserve you" she whispered

"No" you agreed "you deserve more"

It was the woman's turn to frown and she slowly opened her eyes, turning her head slightly so she could look at you. You weren't crying like she was, but there was a deep sadness in your eyes. You chuckled a little at her confusion and squeezed her a little more before resting your chin on her shoulder and concentrating on your hands. You knew that she knew that you were avoiding her gaze, but you couldn't face her while you were having this conversation.

"I know you don't like to talk about how we met in front of others but...it's just us here right?"

She just nodded, squeezing your hand gently for support and to keep you going, whatever you were going to say to her had to be important because you were shaking. You took a deep breath and remembered in great detail the day your life changed, even though it seemed so far away.

“I was broken, lost, I had just hit rock bottom and I wanted to give up" you said "I was cold, hungry, thirsty, and I was about to commit a horrible crime that I would have regretted for all eternity"

The woman closed her eyes, also remembering that moment. She had found you in terrible condition, your clothes were tattered, you were dirty, you had blood and bruises everywhere, and your gaze was empty. You seemed like a ghost more than a living being, and she still had nightmares thinking about what could have happened to you if she didn't arrive on time, despite the fact that she hadn't really been looking for you, nor did she know who you were.

"You stopped me, and I'll always be in your debt for that" you whispered "And I…I thought you'd leave after that, that you'd just walk away from me like the ones who had stopped me before had."

But she wouldn't have been able to. She knew from the moment you looked at her and your eyes sparkled with life again, that she could never leave you. But she didn't say it out loud.

"But you didn't" you continued "you...you saw through my cracks, you looked at me, not at the broken doll, but at the soul beneath all that chaos. And you found something...something worth loving. And I...I've tried to honor that all this time, I've tried to prove that I'm worthy of you, that I'm not going to let you down...I guess that's why it hurt so much when you were so firm and clear in rejecting the idea of marriage

Ajak gasped audibly and pulled away from you carefully but firmly. Her mind, which had been trying to catch up with everything, to assimilate the tender but powerful confession you had made to her, suddenly went completely blank.

"You…you wanted to get married?" she whispered, not sure if she really said it or she just thought it.

You just shrugged, staring at the ground. The woman's warm hands went directly to your cheeks, gently cupping your face, guiding you to force you to look at her. You didn't know how to feel under the intensity of her gaze.

“But you…you acted as if you didn’t”

“I tried to be supportive of your choice” you confessed “besides, it hurt less if I pretended it was a game”

"Why didn’t you tell me?"

"For what?" you asked "anyway, now I know your position in this and my place in your life"

"Y/N, I don't-"

"It's okay" you smiled sadly "I promise I'll keep trying to be better...maybe one day I'll be worthy of you"

"You are already more than I deserve" she said "forgive me, forgive me for not realizing this, how you felt, forgive me for-"

"You don't have to apologize for anything, Ajak" you interrupted her "you had no way of knowing...besides, at least I hope that when you're ready to take that step...it can be with me"

"It will be" she promised "there is no one else I would want to take that step with"

You smiled and pressed your forehead against hers, closing your eyes to enjoy the warmth and the familiar scent coming from the woman. You adored these intimate moments where your soul confirmed that you only belonged to her. Too bad it was in such gray circumstances, and with her tears still falling on you.

"Are you alright?" you asked

"Y-yes, I just..." she sighed "No, I'm not. I'm scared, Y/N"

"Of what?" You frowned at her, gently guiding her until she was straddling you, her hands never leaving your face.

"There's a reason why I rejected the idea" she said "And I promise you it has nothing to do with my love for you, or because I don't consider you worthy. It's me. I'm the one who isn't worthy of you"

"Ajak-"

"I'm afraid of not being enough" she interrupted "I'm afraid that your eyes will lose that sparkle, that one day your gaze will simply pass me by, that you won't look at me like I'm something you want in your life. I'm afraid that things change so much, that we can no longer recognize each other. I'm afraid of losing you because I would lose myself, and the universe would be a terrible and cold void."

"Ajak" you whispered, caressing her cheek "things would change, of course, but they could never change so much that I no longer think of you as the most beautiful star in the sky"

"How are you so sure?"

"Because you loved me when I was fading, and now I know, that not loving you as you deserve, would be failing the entire universe, and that is not a debt I want to accept."

Ajak looked at you for a moment, searching for some trace of doubt in you, but she was only received by the universe in your gaze that she already knew and had fallen in love with. She smiled at you and brought her hands closer to your face so that she could join her lips to yours.

She really hoped she could convey to you in that kiss everything she could never do with words. Eternals were used to changes happening around them, not in them, but now she knew she would do anything if you were by her side, no matter how scared she was.

"I love you" she whispered against your mouth

"I love you too" you smiled

Ajak looked at you for a moment, getting lost in your gaze for a few seconds while her hands played with your hair, before gently biting her lip. You knew she was thinking of something.

"What?" you asked softly

"Nothing"

"Ajak"

"It's just...we're not going to get rid of them" she said softly "so..."

"So?"

"...maybe not tomorrow but...would you consider the idea again?"

You couldn't help but smile before drawing her in for another kiss, a little shorter but more intense than the previous one. Your fingers moved up to her ribs, which earned you a couple of giggles and a gentle push as you pulled away from her.

"Are you sure you're ready to think about the M word?" you asked

"Yes, if it's with you"

#this was supposed to be funny #but oh well #reader insert #x reader #ajak x reader #ajak imagine #ajak preferences #ajak eternals #ajak #eternals x reader #Eternals #mcu x reader #salma hayek ajak

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mermaidsirennikita · 11 months ago

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well now that the crown is over it's time for one last ranking of the seasons

Lol good lord

Season 2--I think this was the most dramatically consistent, despite the Kennedy episode; the cast was across the board at its absolute strongest; and the throughline of Philip and Elizabeth's marital issues was so good. The intense argument they had on the ship was literally just a couple fighting and was somehow some of the most riveting TV I've ever seen? Plus you had additional standouts like the episode where we saw the seeds of Charles's Various Issues sown after Philip almost kills him in a murder-suicide by plane because he's so annoying (while also doing some genuinely intense trauma delving into Philip's own childhood) and, the delving into the Wallis and David being Nazi sympathizers/the brief returns of Jared Harris and John Lithgow, Matthew Goode doing the absolute MOST!!! with Vanessa Kirby in that absorbing fail relationship... It was a lot. Even the Kennedy episode couldn't sink this ship!!!

Season 4--Olivia Colman had some adjusting to do (and so did Helena Bonham-Carter, though to a lesser extent; imo, the Matt Smith -> Tobias Menzies pipeline was the easiest transition the show ever had, and it's in part because Philip had such a personality transition due to his arc in season 2, so Tobias playing a more settled if still wistful for what could have been Philip who'd become Elizabeth's attack dog made sense) but she was fully settled into this cold but also weirdly funny Elizabeth, so out of touch and brittle yet also comically so. But let us be real, Josh O'Connor and Emma Corrin OWNED this season. The thwarted chemistry of the Australia episode. The transformation from shy Di to broken wife to resolved and jaded icon who's decided to break off and also use her influence for good. ALSO, the only PM performance that matched Lithgow's was Gillian Anderson as Margaret Thatcher. Her chilly meetups with Elizabeth, the one PM than Peter Morgan seemed to acknowledge was never enamored with Liz (and I think he's exaggerated a lot with the others lol), the general looming doom she represents... Amazing. Plus, we get one-offs like Elizabeth choosing her favorite child and the show trying to dodge it being Andrew, Margaret's hot young thang though tbh the show severely condensed that relationship (wrong season but my thoughts remain lol) ... Perhaps the most bombastic season, amazing.

Season 1--a great setup of so many issues that would follow Elizabeth, the only season where we see "the woman", fab setting in with Claire, Matt, and Vanessa, and incredible performances from John Lithgow and Jared Harris (who legit never fails to make me cry when he looks at his family for his last Christmas and starts crying). The "I ASK YOU TO MAKE AN EXCEPTION FOR ME"/"... no" scene with Matt and Claire is an example of their magic together. And I say this as someone who has never found Matt Smith compelling in any other role ever. Also, the way Vanessa Kirby made such a splash with her resentful anger at Elizabeth... God.

Season 3--I was initially frostier on this season, but upon rewatch it's still good TV and had some great standout moments. Tobias Menzies is an excellent Philip, and of course you get the introduction of Josh O'Connor, whose Wales episode and monologue about how he won't be a complete person until his mother dies (when we all know Charles will never be a complete person)... So good. It does suffer from the transition a bit, and I'll be real, I don't think Emerald Fennell really worked as Camilla at any point on the show. This also began the serious issue the show has with really glossing over the complexities of Camilla and her relationship with Charles--the idea that they had this straightforward star-crossed lovers thing, the omission of his other women and her genuine love for her husband and dislike of the idea of being Charles's wife versus his mainstay mistress... Meh. But still, good TV with some great performances. And I'll never be over "MUMMY I HAVE A VOICE"/"no one wants to hear it". One of the coldest takedowns I've ever seen on television, lol. Josh and Olivia were great together. (Also: a really good Anne, especially in this season.)

Season 5--there were things to like about this season. But ultimately, it was a flop. Elizabeth Debicki is such a good older Diana ("older" as in a woman who never even hit 40... Jesus) but the show seems like it couldn't decide between her being a little girl lost who was so easily manipulated, and a spoiled brat who was just upset that Charles didn't love her!!! I find Imelda Staunton horribly miscast as this rather watery Elizabeth, which is a very odd transition from the seemingly-silly-but-deeply-cold woman Olivia played. Jonathan Pryce could've played a really good Philip, had he had a script, and same with Lesley Manville. Dominic was a total miscast as Charles, and go from the FABULOUS scene with Josh O'Connor screaming at Emma Corrin about how she needs to be nicer to his mistress to this guy who's like. Breakdancing with the kids, because he sooooo loves the At Risk Youths (which is so racially coded, and looks a lot worse now that we know Charles is one of the people who asked about Archie's skin tone). The whitewashing of Charles in the last two seasons of the show is INSANE. One standout is the episode about Mohamed Al-Fayed because Salim Daw is an ACTOR!!!! baby but the show is also incredibly fetishistic and offensive in its treatment of the Fayeds so. At what cost. I find it rather odd that the show missed an opportunity to track the interesting angle of Philip and Diana's relationship after s4 (Tobias and Emma were great together, of course) because Philip really was advocating for her on some level up until the last minute in Charles and Diana's marriage (when Diana was like "UMMMM REMEMBER HOW YOU SPEAK TO YOUR BETTERS ROYAL WHITE TRASH" lmao because she did legitimately have bluer blood than Philip) and that's the kind of quirky thing The Crown used to thrive on.

Season 6--Again, Debicki and Salim Daw give strong performances (as does Khalid Abdalla as Dodi, but he barely gets time, so). Again, the Fayeds get a horrible treatment from the script, but in terms of acting probably the best moment of season 6 was Mohamed's reaction to Dodi's death. Otherwise, pretty horrible. Ghost Diana was bizarrely handled. This fiction that Charles and Diana were on good terms in the end was... lmao. She hated that man. Anyway, it was laughably bad, William and Harry were hopelessly miscast (justice for Harry, lol, PM dropped some obvious hints that he was less than happy with the royal family but I'm like my guy you really could've done more, give us stronger Chaos Harry foreshadowing you coward) and it just ended so weirdly. I hate.

Man, what a ride. I will always love the first four seasons. But damn, it crashed and burned.

#the crown #i finished that shit and went '.... that's it?'

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sshbpodcast · 1 year ago

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Won’t someone think of the children?! A Jankom Pog Appreciation Post

By Ames

Okay, I meant to only do a Rok-Tahk appreciation post because a) she’s the best and b) who has the time to write all these blogposts? But I just can’t help myself. The community’s efforts to #SaveStarTrekProdigy have motivated me to keep the posts going, so here’s some more love for Star Trek: Prodigy. These installments probably won’t be as intense as the Rok post, but check out what makes Jankom Pog such a great character.

[images © CBS/Paramount… I guess? For now? Yikes.]

Jankom makes you change your mind

Jankom is the character I had the most trouble coming up with good headlines for in this blogpost, and here’s why that’s actually a good thing! He’s supposed to be the obnoxious, goofy, jokey comic relief character for kids to giggle at. He has a weird tick in that he speaks about himself in the third person, which starts off funny and then gets tiresome. He’s voiced by notorious character actor Jason Mantzoukas, who plays pretty much every role he touches maximum-Derek, over-the-top zany. But once you learn about all the trauma in Jankom’s backstory, you understand him a little more, and what seemed like a really annoying character for frankly most of the season materializes into a character who makes a lot of sense. It would be like finding out Jar Jar Binks were abused as a child and that’s why he’s such a screw up. Especially for a kid’s show, it’s actually a really nice way of portraying a character who has more going on under the surface than he lets on, and you shouldn’t just judge a book by its cover, as you’ll see below…

Jankom has PTSD

In an era in which more and more is known about autism or ADD or anxiety or PTSD or other mental health conditions, it’s actually quite great to see a character whom the audience will immediately dismiss out-of-hand and then have him get fleshed out as a person whom the rest of the crew accepts in spite of his eccentricities. And you may kick yourself a little bit! I remember a lot of people thinking “Ugh, Jankom is simply the worst,” myself included, and then feel like an asshole when his backstory gives you some of the traumatizing reasons why he’s like that from the episode “Preludes.” Prodigy reminds us over and over again to be more accepting of people’s differences by showing us these great characters who love each other unconditionally, and why can’t we do that ourselves?

Jankom served on a sleeper ship

“Preludes” also informs us that Tellarite orphans (Jankom’s an orphan – that’s something else to hopefully get to explore!) are put on sleeper ships. We learn that Jankom was in cryostasis for two centuries before his ship malfunctioned and he woke up. As we’ve discussed whenever cryostasis comes up, putting someone in the freezer for a period of time has some interesting implications on the world of the show. This makes Jankom literally a relic from the past! We don’t know [yet] what his life was like before going into cryo, but that does put his birthdate right before the time the Federation was getting founded in Enterprise, so that’s kinda neat. And when we see his backstory as de facto engineer of this constantly breaking sleeper ship, we also understand more about Pog’s preoccupation with wanting to fix things. Jankom Pog can fix it!

Jankom gives us a main Tellarite character

We’ve never had one of these! The Tellarites have come a long way from the horrible pig masks from “Journey to Babel,” and I am dying to know more! Sure, they’re Federation royalty, being one of the founding members of the Federation, and Enterprise gives us a little bit more of them, but most everything we know about them is that they’re argumentative gluttons who particularly don’t care for Andorians very much. Prodigy does well to keep this consistent, especially when we see Dr. Noum acting incredibly judgmentally toward just about everyone, especially Jankom Pog for being short in “Crossroads.” We don’t get to learn much new about them except the aforementioned penchant for using cryosleep to span long distances in space. They’re so nice to see and I want more.

We love you, Jankom Pog! We love the other crew members of the Protostar too! We love Star Trek: Prodigy! Check out the other character appreciation posts for Rok-Tahk, Dal R’El, Gwyndala, and Zero while you’re here. I know I can speak for not only the other hosts here at A Star to Steer Hey By but for myriad other fans when I seriously hope someone picks up this wonder of a show. We’re really looking forward to seeing more from these amazing child characters, and we’re seriously wishing we get that opportunity. #SaveStarTrekProdigy

#star trek #star trek podcast #podcast #star trek prodigy #prodigy #save prodigy #save star trek prodigy #jankom pog #tellarite

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sissytobitch10seconds · 2 years ago

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Shark Queen

Fandom: Wednesday (2022) Summary: She may have swum with sharks before it, but it wasn't really swimming. It was existing in their tank in a cage, which was rather boring. As soon as her girlfriend finds out that she can't swim, though, she spends a lot more time in water with a much more dangerous creature. Warnings: Mentions of canon-typical child endangerment Word Count: 2,693 Ship(s): Wednesday Addams/Bianca Barclay

Archive link!

A/N: I love these two so much and if I'm not able to find fics with them in it then I'm just going to have to write them myself. I remember that this idea was given to me by someone else but I don't remember who it was so I can't give them a shoutout or dedicate this to them, sorry! I hope that you all enjoy this. Thank you all for reading <3

Bianca had been flabbergasted when she found out, which was something that she usually wasn’t. The siren was a very capable, intelligent woman that was able to take in information very quickly and decide what she wanted to do with the confidence of a royal. It was something that Wednesday admired her partner for very much, especially since a lot of the things that she usually said about her family and interests astounded the standard person. Bianca was anything but standard, which was half of what made it so surprising that the news shocked her as much as it did.

They were sitting in Wednesday’s dorm in Ophelia Hall, since Enid had escaped with Ajax for the day. They were going on some horrible sounding date involving shopping and cafes, which Wednesday had been forced to listen about for almost half an hour when they got up. The Raven was perched on the edge of the bed with her back ramrod straight and her hands perfectly poised in her lap. Bianca was sitting in Wednesday’s chair, now turned around so that she was grasping the back of it and twisted at the waist. She had been thumbing through the latest chapter of her girlfriend’s novel as she always did when she came over.

“Are you serious?” she asked, her golden eyes wide and her head tilting to the side. Her lips were open slightly as she asked the question, but as soon as the words had left her she pursed them tightly.

“I am never not serious, Bianca,” Wednesday replied curtly. It was true, while she let the occasional joke slip into the conversation most people found her gallows humor to be disturbing instead of funny so she usually just stuck to insulting them instead.

“I know, I know. You’re just overflowing with morbidity,” Bianca rolled her eyes fondly at her partner. They enjoyed the dynamic that they had, even if it was viewed as abnormal or even borderline unhealthy by the uneducated on the outside.

The siren slipped off of the chair that she had been perched on and then gracefully made her way over to where Wednesday was. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to the center of her forehead after tilting the other woman’s face up with one finger underneath her chin. Bianca then sat heavily down on the edge of the bed like what she had just done was almost intoxicating with its intensity.

“You’ve really never learned how to swim?” she asked, lolling her head to the side so that she could look at her girlfriend over her shoulder.

“My father taught me to swim with the sharks when I was young,” Wednesday gave a half-shrug.

Bianca shook her head while making a face. “That doesn’t count. You’re lowered into a shark cage, which are massively inhumane I hope you know, with a line that can pull you back at a moment’s notice and breathing equipment. It’s hardly more than a bath.”

Wednesday let out an annoyed little huff and folded her arms over her chest, “What do you count as swimming then?”

“Swimming is when you actually have to use your arms and legs to keep yourself afloat or move yourself in the water. That means that bouncing around in the shallow end of a pool doesn’t count either,” she said quickly before Wednesday had the chance to find a loophole in what she had said. She shifted so that one of her arms was on the other side of Wednesday’s hips, caging her onto the bed. “I want you to meet me on Raven Island and I’ll teach you how to swim. We can do it at night so you don’t have to wear one of those horrible full-body swimsuits. Alright?”

The other girl sat there for a moment, stuck between wanting to insist that she didn’t need to learn how to swim and wanting to do whatever it was that Bianca wanted her to. There was something about the Siren that was so alluring and wonderful, even without the use of her powers. Wednesday had a sneaking suspicion that even though Xavier had now realized he was asexual and aromantic, he had been startled by falling so deeply into Bianca’s orbit. Wednesday found it intoxicating, like when she had switched to using arsenic in her tea instead of the usual cyanide.

She gave a nod of agreement to let her girlfriend know that she was going to show up. Bianca responded by closing the few-inch gap between the two of them and pressing their lips together in a brilliant kiss. Everywhere that her hands brushed over Wednesday’s sun-averse skin felt like it had been lit on fire in a way that she never wanted to forget.

---

Later that night, Wednesday had Thing help her row one of the boats out to Raven Island. The lake had been a place that not a lot of the other students wanted to go at night, even though Crackstone’s Crypt had been demolished and then relocated to the local cemetery after it was found covered in blood and already mostly smashed up due to his resurrection. Wednesday came here often, though, to remember the night where she had been so close to returning to death’s waiting arms. Bianca liked it because it was secluded and the events that happened due to Laurel Gates kept others away from it.

The boat pulled up to the bank of the island after about five minutes of rowing. Wednesday clambered out of it and paid no mind to Thing as he skittered off onto the island to do whatever it was he had been planning since she informed him of her date. Bianca walked out from behind one fo the large old-growth trees and looked over the other girl. “Are you going to change?” she asked.

The siren was already dressed in her bathing suit, apparently not planning on shifting to teach her lesson. It was a two piece bikini that was a lovely shade of blue with a yellow flower print that was tastefully scattered over the cloth. It revealed the beauty of her body, the curves of her hips and legs along with the stretch marks that were scattered over her hips and stomach.

“I suppose,” Wednesday sighed. She grabbed the bag that she had packed with her out of the boat that she had arrived in. She then removed her top, folding it quickly so that she could stuff it into the almost-empty sack. She shucked off her pants next, which left her in only her bathing suit. Wednesday had gone with something a bit more conservative than her very confident girlfriend, a simple one piece black swim suit that had an o-ring in the back that held the pieces together. It covered her stomach entirely even if it revealed the side of her breasts and almost her entire back.

“You look wonderful,” Bianca reminded her. She placed her hands on on both of Wednesday’s hips to tug her forward and give her a comforting kiss on the lips.

The smaller woman hadn’t realized just how nervous she was about what they were doing until she had the steady reassurance of her partner above her. The feeling of Bianca’s hands heavy on her waist and her lips pressed against Wednesday’s own was enough to settle the anxiety that had been formed in her chest.

“You look acceptable as well, I suppose,” Wednesday hummed as her eyes drifted down to the golden chain that held the locket she had given Bianca for their one year anniversary. It wasn’t long after they returned from their impromptu winter break after everything that had gone down when they started dating. That meant that their anniversary had just passed, though they celebrated bringing down Crackstone more than they celebrated the day they started dating.

Bianca beamed. She had known Wednesday long enough and was familiar with how her girlfriend spoke to know that was a very earnest compliment. She leaned down and stole another kiss before she threaded their fingers together so she could move her girlfriend around as she liked. Bianca brought them down to the edge of the water, turning back to look at Wednesday with a big smile and to make sure that she was okay.

“We’re going to adjust to the temperature first and then I’ll show you how to do some strokes, alright?” Bianca asked. She was already about ankle deep into the rolling waves on the bank of the island, but she had stopped walking to give Wednesday the time to give her consent.

“Why is it so important to you that I learn how to swim?” Wednesday pouted after giving Bianca a little nod. They walked further into the water so that they were both up to their knees and then paused to adjust to the chill that was shooting through them both due to the difference in the water compared to the night air surrounding them.

Bianca slowly began to guide them in deeper, wading into the water like she was meant to be in it. Which was true, as she was a magical sea creature in many senses of the phrase. “Well, it’s kind of ridiculous for a siren spouse to not be able to swim whatsoever,” she laughed.

“Awfully bold of you to assume that we’re going to be getting married,” Wednesday clicked her tongue. As much as she liked to say that she was never going to become a housewife, get married, or have children, she did like the idea of marrying Bianca at least a little bit. Bianca wouldn’t try to force her to be someone that she wasn’t, so the idea of getting to be with her forever did have a bit of allure to it. She couldn’t let the other girl know that just yet, though.

She laughed, tossing her head back so that she could stumble back into the water. She had already released the other teenager’s hand so that she wouldn’t be dragging Wednesday down into the water before she was ready for it. Her body tumbled down into the clear water of the lake. “You know that no one will ever be able to understand us like we do each other. It’s only reasonable that if we’re going to be staying together like this then we would get married. If not to get our parents to leave us alone, but so that we have to pay less taxes and have more rights to each other,” she reasoned.

Wednesday had almost forgotten to listen to what her girlfriend was saying as she marveled at how beautiful her partner was. She knew how to appreciate beauty, even if what she found beautiful was often different than what normal people did. Bianca often looked like she was a star that had been plucked down from the sky, immaculate with all of her magnificent imperfections.

She sighed as she slowly lowered herself down into the water so that her toes were just barely able to touch the silt and sand on the bottom of the lake. “I suppose that you’re right. Now are you going to get on with the lesson?”

“I am, if you just let me,” Bianca replied with another little snort. She was so cute when she laughed like that, it made Wednesday want to carve out a place for herself inside of her girlfriend and live there forever.

She pushed herself off of the little bank that she had been using to bounce in the water and towards Bianca. The other teenager reached out so that her hands were pulling at Wednesday’s shoulders to bring her further into the water. She gently moved them around so that they were no longer able to use the bottom of the lake to keep themselves up. She instructed her girlfriend on how to kick her legs and arms in the water so that she could stay up in between learning how to shoot herself through the cool, inky liquid.

As afraid of this as she had been, though she would never admit that, Wednesday found that it was rather enjoyable. She had never been fond of the idea of her body being dumped into water so that it could decay and eventually wash up, which is probably where her near fear of swimming had come from. If she was going to die and her body was to be dumped somewhere, she wanted to make sure that it was able to be found so that she could turn into a mystery.

Now that she was here with her girlfriend, however, a lot of that fear was slipping away. She listened to what Bianca had to say about moving her limbs around to keep her afloat in the water. She knew that it would have been easier to learn if they had been in a stagnant pool instead of the lake, which had waves created by the small breeze blowing through the grounds.

The thing that she enjoyed most about the experience was the way that Bianca’s hands slipped over her silky skin. Wednesday wasn’t very partial to being touched, not even by her parents and brother, but whenever Bianca even grazed against her it felt like she was being pumped full of a kind of life that she had never felt before. It was the kind of feeling that became addictive after she had gotten somewhat used to it. Sometimes she found herself going out of her way to get even a little bit of it.

While she didn’t want to be swimming and didn’t care much for learning how to swim, she would take thousands of lessons whenever Bianca wanted if it meant that she got to have her girlfriend’s hands over her like this more than once.

The sun was beginning to peak up over the edges of Nevermore’s spire by the time that they had finished. Granted, they had started after a nap pretty late at night so that they could be assured that even the night owls would have retired to bed and they would be well and truly alone.

Wednesday slowly paddled back to the edge of the island and then hefted herself up onto the shore. Her muscles ached in a way that she hadn’t experienced before. She did exercise to make sure that she would be able to have the stamina for her investigations and torture sessions, but this was still different than anything that she had done before. She didn’t ache in the same way that she had when she had been hunting the Hyde and Laurel Gates the year before. Her muscles were exhausted but they didn’t feel bruised and ruined like they had back then.

She rolled over so that she was laying on her back with either of her arms extended out next to her. Bianca let out a little laugh as she gracefully swam to the point in the lake where she could walk out and then sat down beside her partner. “So how was that? Am I at least decent at teaching swim?”

The smaller girl thought for a moment before she gave a small nod. “Yes, I suppose. But I think that the next time we should do this during the daytime. I’m cold,” she was borderline complaining but she didn’t care. Bianca was the only person to hear her and she trusted the other woman with her life. Bianca had already saved it once, after all.

The siren let out a small chuckle. She leaned down, keeping her body halfway up with one elbow. Bianca then turned so that she was laying part of her body over the top of her girlfriend. Her spare hand, the one that wasn’t helping to keep her upright, she cupped the side of Wednesday’s cheek. “I’ll keep you warm and then once you’re feeling better we can get dressed and head back to the school, alright?”

“Alright,” Wednesday nodded in agreement. She leaned up and connected their lips while relishing in the feeling of the other’s body against her own.

#fanfiction #fanfic #writing #ao3 #archive of our own #wednesday 2022 #wednesday addams #bianca barclay #demisexual wednesday addams #bisexual bianca barclay #wianca #gothbee #wednesday x bianca #bianca x wednesday #wednesday fanfiction #gothbee fanfiction #wianca fanfiction #shark queen fic

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catamaurrr-star · 1 year ago

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maur's super duper awesome list of Some of his ocs!!! celebrate!!! (note: some are missing because. i am layzy)

PLEASE ask me about my ocs PLEASSEEEEEE (explanation for the world [number] thing here)

my comedy relief/intense angst little guys (world 1)

name: umbra chrono age: 23 pronouns: he/they info: my favorite oc (dont tell the others).... time travelling catman who really misses his parents and is having a horrible time at college. is tormented by sadness every now and then BUT he's also good friends with maur and gude so that helps. oh yeah also haunted by the narrative i guess fun little fact: he's a siamese ragdoll!! he dyes his hair black though to try and hide that. this doesnt work as he has the brightest bluest eyes on the planet

name: MAUR !!!!!!! age: 15 pronouns: he/she info: technically not my sona. but they do look VERY similar. anyways so this guy can turn into a cat whenever he wants and was raised in apocalyptic warzone australia (just go with it) but escaped on a boat onto the rest of the world and now steals from places as a homeless stray cat. he likes to annoy umbra as often as possible and steal food from him when he's not looking fun little fact: his eyes light up REALLY FUCKING BRIGHT in the dark. like led lights

name: gude normal age: 19 pronouns: they (but he and she are also accepted. they mainly preferred though) info: most mentally stable oc. they're half elf and they only got the ears from their dad. they love monster hunter and its their favorite thing in the entire world. oh yeah their brother is also kind of a god. OH YEAH ALSO they have a Power!!!! they can make chair arms out of nothing. there is no limit to these chair arms but it gets more and more physically draining to have too many of them for too long. they can disappear whenever gude likes fun little fact: they only wear shorts. not a single set of pants. also striped shirts or tshirts with really stupid designs on them that they thought were funny.

name: jimmy falenhardt age: 10 pronouns: he/him (he;s a cis girl though) info: other most mentally stable oc. he's just a little guy who likes doing postal service and is OBSESSED with cats. like he brings cat food and cat treats with him everywhere. he's very very silly and makes cat puns at every single opportunity he gets. other than that he's very adventurous and a little bit cocky. fun little fact: he picked his own name. he didnt even have a name beforehand everyone just politely referred to him as The Child

name: iron age: ???? pronouns: any info: no one knows what their deal is. no one knows where he came from but apparently she's australian. they rarely ever talk and when he does its the most ominous confusing or just frankly bizarre shit ever. she has So Many scars its crazy. resident little freak fun little fact: yes they look like that in canon too. bright pink hair and paper white skin. so much wrong with her ❤️

not in world 1 2 or 3 ocs

name: nil age: ???really REALLY long though pronouns: any info: MY FAVORITE GUY. used to be an all powerful god but got a little too silly (did something Bad(i dont know what it is either)) and then was punished for it by being eternally trapped in The Void with no way out ever. they also cannot die. so as you can tell this has been driving him Crazy. can also make clones of herself and some objects as well but after a while the objects just disappear if null doesnt actively keep them there. i like to make them sad fun little fact: if the design looks familiarthats just cause he was originally grian but then it got a bit too ooc so i made her an oc. null's basically grian adjacent. the lore reason for this is they took the form of a fictional character he remembered fondly to cling onto what she remembered before null forgets it all

genshin ocs time (i barely talk abt them anymore though)

name: pyre (not his real name) age: mid to late 50s pronouns: he/him info: sumeru pyro claymore 5 star. somewhat possessed by a flower and lives in the sumeru desert. used to have a wife and a kid but his wife died in a sandstorm and he got separated from his kid and doesn't remember either of them anymore. due to the flower possessing him. he just kills people now and is the #1 enemy of cyno fun little fact: at some point he gets free from the flower and has to deal with The Horrors of losing like. 20ish years of your life

name: qamar (no last name idk) age: late 20s pronouns: she/they info: sumeru/mondstadt anemo sword 4 star. got separated from her family by a sandstorm basically wiping out her home in the sumeru desert and she got lost and adopted by rhinedottir who happened to be in the area. grew up with albedo and is on a mission to find out what happened to her family and friends and if all of them truly died or not. also mentors sucrose sometimes and is unintentionally Very Mean fun little fact: she REALLY likes dragonflies. there are several dragonfly motifs on her design (if i actually ever draw it ...)

name: FELIX!!!!!!! age: 40ish pronouns: she/her info: fontaine pyro catalyst 5 star. was part of an ancient race that died out and is basically the last of her species. performs as a popular actress in the opera epiclese for plays and stuff and works with lyney sometimes but SURPRISE!! she's also an UNDERCOVER REBEL!!! she goes by the name "Rouge Résistance" while trying to show all the cracks and flaws in the fontainian justice system by graffiti and stealing stuff to give out to others later . and also arson. kinda like robin hood but with fire fun little fact: her weapon? these fucking hands

AUs OF THE GUYS ABOVE

au name: pope!maur (i thought it was funny) info: was adopted by the church after escaping australia and is now a tyrannical pope at age 15... very insane everyone hates him. he uses his position to do Not Swag things. somewhat of an infamous celebrity fun little fact: originally i made him (and incel umbra) as just maur and umbra in different outfits but then i gave them different persoanlities and origins and boom!! different characters

au name: incel!umbra info: after his parents mysteriously disappeared he went on the internet . and got ruined forever because of it. now hes a really fucking mean nihilist who's generally draining to be around and one day wants to burn down the entire world fun little fact: he and christian!maur DESPISE each other and will go out of their way to annoy each other at every single opportunity. not in the friendly way either they genuinely hate each other

au name: time god!umbra (usually shortened to tg!umbra) info: basically just works for the higher time gods in the world. makes sure everything in time goes well and can vaguely control it. also doesn't follow linear time it's kinda wild. doesn't follow the normal umbra lore either he was just made like this and he just has to accept it fun little fact: he does get paid. just not a lot though. like very little payment for his work

au name: space god!maur (usually shortened to sg!maur) info: like tg!umbra, he works for the higher space gods and he makes sure everythings position isnt getting weird and fucked up. he can teleport wherever he wants and he can work outside of 3 dimensions. thats how silly he is fun little fact: the gods have forced his face to be smiling forever. he is actually not happy with this

thats probably all of them for now

#maurposting #oc

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moth-from-the-void · 2 years ago

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The Owl House Finale: my thoughts

! spoilers, obviously !

I thought it was alright.

Which is pretty sad considering how freaking good the show was.

Now it's difficult to make a list of things I liked and things I didn't like and you will see why.

But for tradition's sake:

things I liked

the overall idea of it with Belos taking over the titan's corpse and all that, pretty dang awesome

not making the Collector an actual villain and instead showing how they're really just a child lashing out because he doesn't know how to deal with these complex emotions

the amount of lore we got on the Collector and titan magic

the ending/post-credit scene, seeing everyone happy and healing without it being a super cliché "and suddenly everything's okay" thing was cool, the character designs were on fucking point and I especially liked the scene with Hunter and Willow at Flapjack's gravestone

Raine being an absolute BAMF, I love them and they fucking rule

Hunter and Darius reuniting, short but sweet

on that note: Darius and Alador in the credits?? hello, sassy middle-aged dads having a thing™??? love to see it

Raine and Eda reuniting, just these two, man

King's genderqueer/genderfucked/whatever parent? marvellous

Luz and Amity getting their happy ending without some random, annoying pseudo break-up plot point or something thrown in there

now, things I didn't like

The pacing was fucking atrocious and really dims all the other aspects I liked, just scene after scene after scene.

In a big character-driven finale like this it's vital to give the emotional impact time to develop, to let it breathe, let the audience sit with a hard-hitting scene like when Luz 'dies' going up against Belos.

And this obviously isn't Dana's or any of the team's fault, it's clearly because of the mouse and the way it disrespects and seems to straight up despise its own creators.

Especially for a show like this where we get the most amount of openly shown queer affection in the final minutes of the final episode of a show that was cut short for "not fitting the brand". Of course Owl House is revolutionary in its portrayal of queerness in a Disney show but the shadow of the mouse looms large and can be felt even here which is just, it's tragic, man, seriously.

The pacing is also what causes my other big problem with the finale: the hollow victory.

Well of course Luz has defeated Belos at the end, has liberated the BI, healing can take place, rebuilding can start.

But it feels hollow. Of course Luz epically destroys Coloniser McGoo and seeing Raine, Eda and King stomp on him was funny. But I feel there was a distinct lack of catharsis here.

Now this might be because from the beginning of this show I've been firmly in camp villain-enjoyer and was really excited about how they were gonna develop Belos as a villain but I didn't like the lack of "depth" regarding him we got in the finale.

Now I'm not talking about the Philip Wittebane sob story or the power of love, friendship and redemption or anything, puritan fascist man can rot in fucking hell forever, but it feels like Luz didn't actually defeat him.

Belos went from representing a larger system of beliefs about the world (human supremacy, colonisation, religious dogma, the absolutely batshit ideas underlying the concept of killing and then resurrecting your own brother "for his own good", etc.) to just like big kaiju slime wreaking havoc and spitting magic fire.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good epic fight against just a huge gross monster that wants to destroy the world (which yes, Belos ultimately is) but not when that happens at the cost of your villain's complexity.

Because now Luz has destroyed this huge evil slime thing, but that could've been any other villain or monster, it lacks that narrative oomph of defeating Belos as a character who represents bigotry, intense selfishness, abuse and ultimately a worldview in which some people are destined for annihilation due to their perceived inferiority.

This is because, at least in my opinion, Belos' strength as a villainous character isn't his magic or anything like that, it is his prowess in manipulation and the way he can make other characters believe that his depraved views are correct. I much rather would've liked that Luz and him had had a verbal standoff before actually fighting, him preying on her fears of being just like him and having those resolved together with his defeat instead of being seemingly resolved in that Collector dream sequence at the beginning.

Because it now seems like Luz' emotional arc is divorced from her fight against the main villain of this whole show which to me feels very unsatisfactory. A villain or obstacle is what drives the narrative, it's what provokes the protagonist(s) into action and especially Luz and Belos had this well-written dynamic with both being humans but extremely different from each other, yet Luz feeling terrible because she helped Philip discover the light glyph. That was cool, that was interesting and removing that element feels kind of boring to me.

It makes it feel like Belos and the system he represents were never really defeated, like Philip Wittebane is dead as he should be but the concept of "Belos" lives on, which could've been interesting if properly developed, but then again there wasn't enough time to do that.

Ultimately I feel it's on a surface level a pretty decent finale for a series like this, it hit all the right beats and tied this amazing show up as best as it could.

On the other hand I personally feel that it was hindered from being a finale this awesome show truly deserves by the mouse. Imagine how good it could've been if it had the time to develop the plot at a slower pace, if the show could've taken its time to develop the lore and the emotional beats of the story instead of giving last-minute exposition dumps and trying to fit all its eggs in one basket over the course of a measly 45 minutes.

It was good, but it could've been great, and that's just tragic.

I'm looking forward to any future projects by Dana Terrace because her and the team are truly brilliant artists and I hope their next projects will work out without all this corporate meddling.

Finally I want to say that obviously this was all just my opinion, I'm not pretending to speak the ultimate gospel truth and if you loved the finale that's cool, if you hated it that's also cool, you can have whatever opinion you like. This wasn't some sort of essay to convince anyone of my position, it was just me rambling about a show I like and maybe over time my opinions will change, this show is by no means a hill I'm willing to die on.

Don't take this post all too seriously and have a great day :)

#the owl house #toh spoilers #toh finale #my opinion #ramble from the void #long post #original post #might elaborate more on this another day if i ever feel like it

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stregoniconiconii · 2 years ago

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about the siblingification of friendships, sorry im totally about to make myself a stand in for steve here, but im an only child, i have felt v lonely, and i have this one friend who calls her close girl friends sisters,, and i just do not feel it, i love her, and she is one of my best friends, but i just do Not see her as a sibling. and i think steve would be the same way tbh, also my most sibling adjacent feelings have been for ppl around 5 years younger than me (just like Steve & the kids/teens<3) but unlike steve, i haven't had any intense trauma to increase the chance for sibling bonding.

idk i just think that it would take More for steve to feel sibling feelings for ppl around his own age or older.

i also think that when u have been on ur own a lot it's like, sure u want ppl around, but also u need ur space bc u're used to it, idk maybe thats just me lol. i also have an intense need for personal space and like my things are my things and no one better fucking touch it, (i mean u can but if u pick stuff up I'll be annoyed, sorry) but also i Crave physical affection, and sorry i think this is just a "why i relate to steve/things i project onto steve" list, oops.

but like i guess what i probably wanted to say is, steve is, as far as we know, an only child, and while i think we all want him to have good family times, i don't think that equals sibling type relationships with everyone, and i think it would be interesting if ppl took into account how living as an only child would affect him, and not only in the "his house was always empty so now he is filling it w the sound of his friends 24/7" way. like maybe its just me, and im projecting or w/e but if I had friends over All the time, even my very best friends(except maybe my best best friend<3) i would go insane i think

sorry for talking so much about myself, it's just things that makes me think about steve, and this is the best i could manage to express it at the moment <3

this just made me think of something very funny which is that Steve and robin DO think each other as siblings but because they're both only children they just. genuinely have absolutely no idea how siblings are supposed to act around each other and so they do things together that would make ppl sing 'sweet home Alabama' or go 'wtf' if they were actual real life siblings. like it genuinely is all completely platonic but it's still a line that siblings wouldn't cross lol (idek what kind of things yall can figure it out)

HOWEVER two only children who are very used to doing their own thing suddenly being very clingy with each other?? oh I just know there were growing pains. like they want to be around each other but also being around someone means Being Around Someone. they definitely had to figure out a system to make sure they dont murder each other lol

but yeah I do see what you mean about Steve maybe either not needing or necessarily even wanting?? a sibling relationship with everyone he knows (that isn't somehow a parental figure either lmaoo) the type of person I could see filling that sort of role for Steve might be likeeee an almost queer older sibling? like someone he meets in his 20s who takes him under a gay wing. I know ppl like to imagine Eddie doing that for Steve but that's definitely not a sibling framework with them lol and also Eddie's dead </3 but I can see it happening when Steve and robin move out of hawkins and get involved with the gay scene. or maybe him getting into a line of work that ends up forming these close sibling like relationships. idk lol

idk mostly im fine with Steve being an older brother to dustin and max you know?

alsoooo it's totally fine to talk about urself <333 it helps inform ur head canons!! I mean im the absolute opposite of Steve I have siblings and I grew up so close with my cousins they’re practically also siblings, so hearing the only child side of living Does make a difference you know

#platonic stobin #steve harrington #robin buckley

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angeldiaries777 · 1 year ago

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thinking about my suicide attempts and every moment of my life now like damn it was never that serious. AT ALL. blah blah all those pity parties i threw for myself and all of the things i went through like yeah whatever it happened and what???? like what???? like thats just life. why was i taking everything so fucking intensely and why was i so upset at myself for soo long. why was i scared of losing things when life moves forward till the end and thats what we all have to accept. im getting better at recognizing when things are non issues. im still hiding from the world out of habit. its just like damn i was so terrifed of people hurting me that i hurt myself times infinity. like yeah it happened soo:????? so what. yeah i fucked up. yeah other people fucked up. yeah the world is messed up. yeah life is random and weird sooo????? like none of it matters. we're just here to be alive and thats all. like thats enough. the rest will come later and if it doesnt so what???? nothing lasts and neither will that. im not saying im gonna fail or whatever im just saying like yeah whats the point in being a depressed cunt??? yeah i have had clinical depression since i was a child but whats the point in giving into it. there isn't. im not letting anxiety control me anymore sorry. im over it. im over myself. like we get it ur sad and tired all the time shutup. and this isnt gonna be a deny everything forced happiness phase but why am i still sulking about shit outside of my control all these years later?? the angst is gone. its getting annoying hating everything. its getting annoying being cynical about the world. its never going to be amazing and i don't think life will either. so why not just be chill with things?? why not accept that this world and other people myself included will never meet my standards. my life will. and ill try my best to give myself the love i deserve (and no i dont think everyone deserves love i think there r sickos and idiots out there who don't deserve it but i def deserve love) like im gonna try something i havent i lied i need more radical self love in my life. and thats all really. i hate it cuz i cringe when other bitches say things like this but nothing will ever matter. and nothing has ever mattered. like at all. why not be my pretty self and like whatver. whatever. tired of grudges. no more. i don't think im gonna be venting anymore im just gonna shut the fuck up stay offline and be grateful for myself and the cringe "blessings" cringe i have in my life. no more longing for other existences. im really fucking happy in mine. no more posting for validation and attention. obvi human brain will act different irl but whatevs im pretty smart kind and funny i'll be okay. yeah im gonna be okay. i know i am. i know that im going to become who i want to be. and i know it will all work it for me. no more stressing about. no more overthinking about it. no more self inflicted pain. no more rash decsion making. im me and i will be okay as me. like ive been self soothing forever but i need to start believeing that i will be okay. i am my mind. we r one. and the sooner i accept that i will never be able to run away from my own mind things will improve for me. this is the one brain and the one body i get in life. im going to make the most of it and stop living in such a dim dark headspace. its over. sorry im not letting the pain and anger control me. the uncomfy/bad intrusive thoughts can and never will win. im gonna win. this is my life. i have the control.

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spacexseven · 2 years ago

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ok thinking about subordinate darling chuuya… I think we discussed mean chuuya together, but I can see the appeal of nice chuuya as well! I personally have a preference for mean chuuya because. reasons… but thats just me.

for nice chuuya, it would be a good cop bad cop scenario. dazai bullies you cuz he thinks its funny, chuuya swoops in to earn your trust. rinse and repeat. it might be out of true altruism on chuuyas part at first, but quickly devolves into more sinister intentions. I actually think this approach would probably kick dazai into gear a bit as the idea of darling liking chuuya more than him makes a cold dread settle into his bones. its a race for number one as dazai suddenly starts vying for your attention much like a child, with the hidden agenda of trying to rile chuuya up enough to get him to reveal the monster underneath the facade.

for mean chuuya… have you ever seen an old cartoon where two kids are fighting over a doll? and then start crying when they inevitably end up ripping it? yeah. both of them like you, neither one of them wants to actually admit this due to the fact they've convinced themselves they find you worthless and annoying up to this point, but they also don't want to give you up to the other. the tentative bond they formed from making fun of you together completely breaks in half as they become obsessed with winning, even if the prize is somewhat unclear. I think we get the concept of how DAZAI is mean by now, but chuuya is another beast. whereas dazai's cruelty, while unpredictable in method, is reliably consistent in intensity, motive, and frequency (up until his crush starts to muddle things); chuuya seemingly decides at random just how mean he intends to be and why. like, one day completely fucking up your given task only gets you jeered at and mocked, and the next making eye contact without permission gets you punched in the face. and some days he just acts like you don't exist no matter WHAT you do. hard to get a handle on, that one. he doesnt get "worse" when he realizes he likes you, just weird. like now he's a stereotypical romance anime tsundere about it. dork loser.

and uh, speaking of the doll ripping… if (when) dazai and mean!chuuya end up going too far… maybe they send you off on a mission that gets your kidnapped or almost killed… maybe one (or both) of them overestimate your resilience and give you an injury that cant be walked off… or maybe its just as little as noticing you're suddenly less combative and more timid towards them nowadays… you REALLY don't wanna know just how far they're willing to go to "make it up" to you. they might even work together on it, or maybe they'll try to sell the other one up the river and become your favorite. either way you're in for a ride. the idea of losing you will immediately make both of them drop all pretense, and what's underneath the "cruel, dismissive senior" act is NOT for the faint of heart.

- 🩹

honestly i think its likely they end up pairing up just bc these two seem to get a lot more done when working together lolol Hope this isnt too long :<

if chuuya decides to play the role of the good guy, it's mostly because he wants to piss off dazai, and maybe a little bit of sympathy knowing that you really stand no chance against your superior. the more dazai gets on his nerves, the more he stops by to check in on you, knowing it gets dazai all riled up and angry—but since he doesn't want you to know it bothers him, dazai's more likely to bottle up his frustration, and to chuuya it's hilarious. eventually though, you sort of...grow on him. there's something about your pitiful state after yet another one of dazai's stupid pranks or derogatory comments, something about the way you try to hide your eyes tearing up when you sense him coming behind you that stirs something in him. chuuya's fingers twitch at his side, wanting to reassure you. he wants to coo over you, like someone would to a whimpering puppy.

and suddenly, it doesn't matter if dazai gets mad—chuuya just wants to be there for you. if he learns that the cause of your sorrow is none other than dazai, chuuya's punches to him are more harder than usual, and there's something more hateful about the glare he seems to always have directed at the other. he tells you something embarrassing dazai has done in the past, helps you plan and carry out your little revenge, anything to make you feel even a little better. and the way you smiled up at him was worth all of it.

maybe chuuya convinces mori to let you come on missions with him more often; after all, it wasn't like dazai had some claim on you. he treasured the little moments together—the devious looks you'd share with him before a surprise attack, the delight in your eyes when you dig into the desserts he gets you, and even the way you seemed to dim a little when it was over and you had to go back to working under dazai. obviously, that meant you liked him more, right?

dazai catches on pretty quickly to this white knight act chuuya's got going on, and it really doesn infuriate him, chuuya acting as though he isn't just as bad as dazai. sure, he's all nice to your face, but only dazai's seen chuuya brutally beat up some other member of the pm for insulting you, and only he knows that chuuya sneaks into your room regularly. if all it took to win you over was a few sweet words and outings, dazai would have you eating out of his hand in a week.

it's overwhelming to go from your usual experiences with dazai to him suddenly all over you and bribing you with sweets and trips to the aquarium. it's even more confusing when you see chuuya fuming at the corner of the hall when dazai starts telling you about how terrible of a temper chuuya's got and how easily dazai tricked him before. he eagerly offers to show you exactly how scary chuuya can be when he's mad, and assures you that he has a much better grasp on his emotions compared to chuuya. it's crazy enough already without having them actually start to argue in front of you, but that's exactly where this leads.

now for mean chuuya...

initially, his whole attitude towards you is more of indifference, a little bit annoyed because if you want to make it in the pm, you'd need to get used to this sort of treatment quickly. sometimes, he might find your reactions to dazai's torment sort of amusing. eventually, he begins terrorizing you for the fun of it; messing with the files you're in charge of or insulting you to get beneath your skin (i seriously doubt he'd be as bad as dazai but i agree w the unpredictable thing. sometimes he's even nice to you)

oh...if they think you're getting distant for whatever reason, any previous semblance of privacy or personal space is shattered. chuuya bombards you with gifts sent to your apartment, dazai is all over you, chuuya makes it pretty obvious he's following you, and dazai in turn sticks to your side like glue.

eventually, their rivalry is garnering too much negative attention, which may push them to the idea of working together or their rivalry gets worse whichever works out is based on the circumstances, and possibly mori might have a say in it if he thinks that this is disrupting the workings of the pm too much. honestly. them working together might be the better option, since to a certain extent chuuya might be able to keep dazai in check. alone, they are unpredictable and uncontrollable.

#hghghg didnt add much to mean chuuya cos i think youve explored most of it already #anyways im very thankful for your asks here honestly gives me a good break from writing oneshots #but i still feel somewhat productive!#so thank you #yandere bsd #yandere x reader #yandere bungo stray dogs #yandere bungou stray dogs #yandere bungo stray dogs x reader #ask 🐟#anon 🐟#bsd 🐟#dazai 🩹 🐟#dazai 🐟#chuuya 🐟#subordinate au 🐟#yandere dazai #yandere chuuya

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ayamturd · 4 years ago

Text

kid│technoblade

summary: (requested) an errand run forces techno out of the house; he meets an interesting kid in return

warnings: brief injury description, hinted abandonment, light angst and fluff

pairing: in-game platonic!technoblade

a/n: i took this request and ran so far with it lol. pls enjoy, i loved the reader’s dynamic with techno sm

wc: (4.0k) - m.list

It was hot, the day smothering in the summer heat as the village offered little coverage to the harsh sun. From exploring the lands of the Arctic to walking in the crowded space on the sweltering landscape, Technoblade let out a sigh from how his layered clothing stuck to him; his regal attire was more than slightly uncomfortable and was arguably only for looks then and there.

Glancing down to the list in his hands once more, he grumbled from the tasks, supplies and ingredients he still needed, openly irritated from being forced on the supply run. Real funny Phil. Hilarious.

He scratched his head, lost to the busy market place as many shoved past him in the busy rush. Technoblade was a warrior, the Blood God, he was someone to be feared and feel threatened by, yet at that very moment he couldn’t be anything less than a lost tourist.

Technoblade rarely ventured to extremely public places, but he knew he couldn’t return empty handed, the underwhelming mockery he would receive would be just plain annoying.

With a final sigh of defeat, he decided it best to take each task step by step, that starting with the blacksmith. Now, make no question that Technoblade and Phil weren’t not capable of crafting their own weapon, but at times, the cost of another’s opinion did more help than that of personalized wants.

It was even hotter once he entered the open store, the burning furnace emitting an almost intolerable intensity that rivaled the burning cold of the Arctic. Rolling his neck, he approached the front desk and unsheathed both Phil’s and his long swords, tossing a small pouch with a chink as payment for restorations and commendations.

Speaking few words in the villager’s tongue, the worker immediately began his assessment when taking the weapons in hand. Techno knew little in the different language, but he understood when the man explained the necessary works and time expectancy.

He sighed for what felt to be his 15th time that afternoon, but complied when leaning against the counter for the next few minutes; he refused to leave his best weaponry in the hands of a stranger, and would do with the wait until then.

Picking on the crusted mud that hardened on his fur coat, he jumped when someone slammed into the wood he leaned against, eyes dropping to meet the height of a young adolescent.

Unlike himself, they seemed dressed for the sweltering heat. Their cloak hung loosely from their shoulders, but was bare and thin, either from time or was purposeful from the climate, it was his guess. While they seemed as energetic as someone their age should be, he could tell from experience of the way they stood tall with their chin held high that they were a fighter, someone who seemed cautious of their surroundings by the constant shift in their eyes.

He also knew they noticed him but was purposefully choosing to ignore him for whatever reason, he couldn’t tell. Coughing, he went back to his useless fiddling.

They tapped anxiously, their fingers twitching while they looked longingly to the nearest axes, an overwhelming sense of excitement filling the stuffy air. While he tried to ignore them considering how little they could stand still irritated him, he couldn’t deny that they intrigued him.

“Helloooooooo?” they called out, jumping above the counter and holding themself up with their arms stiff in strength. Techno waited a brief moment while they began yelling louder before rolling his eyes to interrupt them.

“They’re busy right now. Give it a minute, will you?”

His monotoned voice caused them to freeze, and as they slowly turned to meet the sight of him, a huge grin grew on their face. It made his frown grow in return.

“A minute can be so long in silence, I’m only making it go faster.” Techno scoffed at their words and fully turned his body towards them. His genetics made him tower over them even when slouched, yet while he knew others would cower, the child in front of tilted their head in amusement.

“By what logic does that make any sense?”

The mischievous teenager followed Technoblade’s posture, mimicking his stance with crossed arms. They jutted their chin out proudly, though it was obvious they were only messing with him further.

“My logic, obviously.”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s yours, doesn’t make it right.”

With an annoying quirk of a smile, the small human smirked with feigned innocent eyes.

“Says who?”

Knowing full well that it would a battle in vain, Techno conceded and faced the front desk again, his arms resting against the table as he hung his head down with a huff of air.

His considered defeat made the young stranger laugh lightly, and they copied his position, but instead held their head in their palms with a small hum. Staring at him intensely, their head rocked in thought for some time before they spoke up.

“You look miserable.”

It took Techno a large amount of willpower to prevent himself from glaring in their direction, something the child took as a challenge. They filled the silence when Techno left it unattended, leaning closer to him while still in place.

“I mean, the outfit is sick, I won’t lie. But you just look awful right now. How many layers do you have on anyway?”

Once more, he had to clench his fist tightly to drown out their bothersome questions. The child, as he now deemed it considering how persistent it could be, noted his subtle tensing and bit their lip to smother another coming giggle.

“Is your crown real? Are you actually royalty? Am I expected to bow in honor or respect? I’m terrible with conversation-“

“So I’ve noticed.” Techno dryly stated, his hand coming to rub the back of his head, exasperated, with a shake. They completely disregard his side comment like he never spoke.

“-but I never though I’d live to see the day I interact with royalty.”

“I’m not royal, I’m anythin’ but.” Techno’s voice dropped when considering the matter, his narrowed eyes in concentration against his constant fight for Anarchy and destruction.

His seriousness created a beat of silence in the shop, though without fail, the teenager overlooked his internal monologue.

“Do you have a long, fancy name with numbers and stuff? Like ‘King George the First' or ‘Their majesty, Alas-’”

“No."

“But what about-”

Techno’s groan cut their next range of questions off, and he pushed himself up to stare them down tiredly.

“You’re a pretty annoyin’ kid, you know that?”

Sitting up when he did, the teen jumped onto the counter backwards, swinging their legs on the edge while gripping the border tightly. They rested their chin on their shoulder with an eased smile as they now matched his height.

“So I’ve been told.”

The approaching footsteps from the back entry caused the both of them to turn their heads, the young stranger facing to him while Techno’s gaze still remained.

“But you can’t deny it, I made time go faster.”

Hopping off before they could be scolded, the blacksmith returned with the weapons’ adjustments and the requested engravings Phil asked for, drawing Techno’s attention away from the young stranger. He opened the cloth the worker brought the swords out in, and lifted his own while gripping the grained handle tightly.

Stepping away from the counter, he swung the blade in front of him, tossing it briefly as to adjust to its weight and consider its balance. The wind it generated in the slices of air brought a dark smile to his face. Satisfied with the result, Techno inspected the finer details up close a final time before sheathing it to his side.

As he went to grab Phil’s, he caught the teen’s awed gape. He chuckled from their open amazement and moved to walk towards the displayed axes behind them.

“What’s your name, kid?” With his back to them, he reached his hand outward to the various blade sizes, hovering over the edges with careful pressure.

His question visibly threw them off, and they stuttered before gathering themself.

“What’s yours?” they asked, eyebrows raised in defense. Techno felt the corner of his mouth lift from their faltering.

“Technoblade.” He was patient as they swallowed before responding.

“Y/n.”

Unclasping a light, yet deadly thin battle-blade axe from the wall, Techno eventually turned around to meet them again.

“No last name?”

While they smiled, it didn’t reach their eyes as they glanced away with a careless shrug. No origin or proper upbringing, he assumed.

“Never came up with one. Never needed one.”

“Hmm.”

Lifting the axe in hand, Techno gestured to the empty baldric that wrapped tightly around their chest. By their longing stares and stance as a fighter, it didn’t take much to make the connection that they were someone who fought with an axe.

“What happened to the last one?”

Surprised by his close observation, they brought their hands to the bare hold as if they were searching for it. Unlike the past few minutes in his company, they suddenly became shy and spoke with a guilty smile.

“O-oh. I, uh, chipped the blade. Wore it down. It’s been a while since I was able to treat myself, I thought it was finally worth the wait to get a new one.”

Shifting on their feet, they grasped one of their arms awkwardly. Despite their previously loud, outward energy, Techno sighed once he saw them as the kid they were; they were someone alone that was forced to survive in the big world, someone he could relate and understand.

After a moment passed, Techno faced the worker. They had been watching their interaction the entire time and seemed as uncomfortable as they were bored. Without asking for a price, he wordlessly pulled out a handful of emeralds from his drop leg pouch and slammed them on the table surface.

The blacksmith made sounds of gurgled delight, gathering the gems into his opens hands with furious nods in thanks. Techno only rolled his eyes and shoved the purchased axe forwards, leaving it open in his outreached hands to the child.

“Save your money. It’s not worth any price they try to sell.”

Switching their sights from the weapon and Technoblade in disbelief, they breathlessly giggled when carefully lifting it from his hold.

Twirling it easily before striking near the ground, the pulled the new beauty to their chest gratefully. They were at a loss for words, to say the least, and Techno laughed from their frozen shock.

His laughter died down and he decided to take his leave in quick steps. While the teen tried to shout to him in thanks, they were still dazed and couldn’t form words to yell.

Techno paused at the entrance and dipped his head back, his hand bordering the door frame. He grinned slightly to the point where his sharper canines were visible, and called out to them in departure.

“See you around, kid.”

Bow raised, arrow drawn, Techno crept low on the forest ground with cautious and calculated steps.

The overgrown leaves above provided a gentle shading that shielded the majority of the sunlight, only few splotches breaking through. It had been too long since Techno went hunting, the sport lost to him since his recent adventures and scenery in the very south.

As he had been traveling for days on end to meet with his brothers’ call, he thought to gather food and see through with his lost skill; he had devoted a majority of his time in peaceful solitude to farming and raising cattle, he wasn’t as skillful as he used to be.

Keeping that in mind, as his eyes narrowed from the close rustling of a bush before him and he approached meaningfully, he failed to noticed the grown roots that broke through the dirt.

With a small yelp, his foot became stuck and he fell hard onto his face.

A small rabbit hopped out of the shrubbery and stopped briefly near him as if in mockery to his embarrassing failure before bouncing away.

Technoblade groaned, both from pain and the circumstances, and gave up any hope for moving in shame when the voices began to mock him.

“Well that wasn’t very royal of you.”

While his memory failed him more often than not, he recognized the voice specifically over the chaos that reigned in his ears. Contemplating the next-least humiliating course of actions, he settled on pretending nothing happened.

“Like I said the last time,” he sighed while pushing himself up, “I’m not royalty.”

Brushing off the dirt that stained his clothes and skin, Techno turned to the child’s voice and jerked startled when their entertained countenance was closer than what he expected. They were hanging upside down with their legs hooked on a low, but sturdy branch.

Face smug, they crossed their arms and openly snickered.

“Agreed, you are far less graceful than what I expect them to be.”

Techno shook his head and searched for his bow, the old relic more traditional and practical in comparison to his crossbow for hunting. He hummed when spotting it and tried to shift the conversation.

“What are you doin’ out here, kid?”

Pulling themself up in a sitting position, they swung their feet wildly and looked around the woodlands with a shrug.

“I live here.”

Freezing mid crouch with his bow in hand, Techno’s words were slow following after.

“Out here?”

“Mhmm.”

There was a pause as Techno looked at them confused. His brows furrowed fro their vague input.

“In the trees?”

“Sometimes,” they sang. Leaping forward, they landed smoothly onto their feet and raised their eyes to the sky. “It depends on my mood, and whether or not I want to see the stars.”

“Ah.”

With that, Techno turned and started to walk away. His hunting attempt was a mistake that cost him a bullying teenager that apparently lived in the woods and was homeless, the voices adding onto his internal torment; he wanted to leave as fast as he could.

Racing their steps ahead of him, y/n began to walk backwards to address him directly.

“Why are you here? I assume you don’t live near here since you dress like an old, aristocratic woman with modesty insecurities.”

Techno looked ahead without faltering considering their playful jab, and they tried for an answer again.

“Plus you haven’t been around for weeks.”

Steps slowing, Techno was genuinely surprised to hear their observation and glanced at them with an inclined head tilt.

“You looked for me?”

Caught in their own web, y/n timorously avoided his stare.

“The town’s always busy with newcomers, travelers, royalty,” they emphasized with a pointed look at him, “trust me when I say you stick out like a sore thumb. Your turn.”

Nodding from their reasonable, but untrue explanation, it was Techno’s turn to glance away while formulating a response.

“I’ve been… uh, explorin’, you could say.”

In a paralleling manner, they copied his previous nod despite their skepticism.

“I see. And now?”

“Now I’m visitin’ an old friend, old relations.”

“Ahhh. Girlfriend?”

Technoblade stopped walking altogether and incredulity gawked at them.

“What?”

“Boyfriend?” y/n continued, now turning with their back facing him. Techno rushed to meet there stride and spoke down to them.

“No, stop it.”

Hand to their chin, they pretended to reach another revelation with wide eyes.

“Ohh I get it now, distant family.”

“You can be quiet now,” Techno grumbled. Smacking his forehead, he rubbed it exasperated while their joy became evident in their cheerful tone.

“Are they misunderstanding?” the teen asked, their cheeks flushed excitedly from his apparent discomfort. “Is it the person-friend they don’t approve of?”

“I’m leaving now.” Techno hurried his pace as to leave the forest ground.

“They rude? Unbearable? Selfish? Annoying?”

“You know what,” he stated, spinning to them to clarify since they had stopped walking entirely behind him, “yes.”

“Ooo which one?”

“Annoyin’, and you remind me so much of them.”

The trees were now clear as the plains had become more visible during their trek. Strapping the long, recurve barbow over his head and around his chest, Techno thought the exchange done and allowed the sun to bask over him.

Before he could make his way to his camp, their voice yelled out to him.

“Aww that’s sweet!”

Perplexed to how anything of what he said could be seen as ‘sweet’, his curiosity got the better of him and he turned again.

“You consider me like family? I’m touched!”

Eyes narrowed, Techno bowed his head it defeat once again. He could never win with them, could he?

“‘kay, I’m done with this. Goodbye.”

Y/n waved avidly with a wide grin in spite of him not looking.

“See you around, Sir Blade!”

“You should consider yourself lucky.”

The stillness was deafening. Regardless of the wind that howled outside and forced the shudders to rattle upon constant impact, or the fire the lit the room bright in heat and warm tone color, the quiet was tense when y/n awoke in Techno’s house.

“I saw the smoke burn miles out. Had the wind changed its course, I would have never noticed.”

As his back was turned to them, Techno pulled the cork from his most recent regeneration brew and poured it briskly into a small mug, its small rippling sound overtaking the room. With a plate of bread he prepared beforehand, he finally addressed them with the sustenance in hand.

Y/n was completely engulfed in the large bedding they rested in, Techno’s bedding. Their arms were wrapped tightly with gauze that covered their forearms all the way to their chest. Eyes sunken and dark, they squinted heavily from recently awakening with ashen hair that matted to their face.

“Is everyone alright?” they asked, voice faint yet rough from the intense smoke inhalation and damage they sustained in the event. Coughing from speaking for the first time, Techno was quick to hand them the potion.

They downed the drink voraciously, and he decided to speak while they ate.

“Everyone that managed to escape, probably. But those that did fled long before I arrived.”

Glancing at down at them, Techno could only sigh at the sight. They were so small under his gaze, and he shifted his attention to the nearest wall with crossed arms.

“It’s one thing to help others, it’s another when takin’ on a raid by yourself.”

His pointed comment caused them to snap and try to defend themself, however, they moved to suddenly and winced from the slight movement. Despite his frown, Techno’s hands were raised gently with concerned eyes from their evident pain.

Breathing in and out harshly, they were still hunched over when they glared up at him in anguish.

“You didn’t hear them scream, you didn’t hear them yell for mercy. You weren’t there, but I was. I couldn’t stand by and do nothing.” Their voice cracked near the end, and with vast tears that escaped, a broken sob filled the space as they hid their face ashamed.

Techno was at a loss when comforting others, but he wasn’t a jerk to ignore someone after surviving a tragic incident, one they tried to fight yet lost to.

Slowly, he moved to sit on the bed side. He clenched his fist shut in hesitance, but steadily, he hovered his hand over them before stroking their back reassuringly.

“Listen, kid,” pausing, Techno caught himself and cleared his throat, “Y/n, I know you barely know anything about me but trust me. I understand how it feels, how it must’ve felt then to be overwhelmed by sudden cries that surround you to the point that you make rash decisions. Trust me when I say I get it.”

Their cries died down from his words, and he spoke earnestly as they listened more closely in smothered hiccups.

“I respect what you tried to do in the end, but you have to be self aware that you’re still just a kid.”

His blunt statement made them freeze, and when the fully processed what he said, they dropped their hands to scowl at him incredulously. Their red eyes are hard and made him laugh from his lack of explanation to his true meaning.

“Hey, I never said it was the age that was at fault.”

Pulling his arms away, he grasped his hands together and rested his elbows to his knees, though his focus was still on them.

“You’re young, and young means inexperienced. Give yourself some leeway and accept your limits that come with time.”

They looked down from his attentive eyes, but still nodded when understanding his perspective.

Rubbing the bottom of his chin with the back of his hand, Techno attempted to further the conversation amiably. He was out of his depth socially, but he was trying for their sake.

“Besides all that, I have to say you can definitely fight.” Their eyes shot up to meet his, the acclaim unexpected. Their face was too emotionally soft for Techno to look at, so he turned away before speaking with a joking smirk.

“Though I’m not too sure about your close combat.”

Gawking at the audacity, y/n lightly smacked his arm and scoffed. A smile crept on their face as they shook their head from the backhanded compliment.

“You try training with a tree, they don’t always fight back.”

His snicker grew from their weak justification, and eventually, they joined his laughing fit. Helpless giggles replaced the once solemn air. While it soon died down, the elation of each other’s company still remained.

Techno rose from the soft mattress and crossed his arms loosely in thought. With a single nod, his monotoned voice encouraged them considerately.

“Get some rest, we can talk later.”

Like his past departures, his steps were fast and large as he moved to exit. His hand pulled the door with him, but a shy call of his name stopped him from closing it fully shut.

“Technoblade.”

His head peaked from behind the wooden door and was met with soft eyes that expressed more gratitude than words could convey.

“Thank you.”

“No thanks needed, kid.”

Bonus:

Shutting the door gently, Techno walked into the kitchen space with a sigh. He rubbed his eyes from the hours he spent watching them unconscious after tending to them, and heeded the voices’ command for food (real food for once, not blood).

He leisurely approached the pantry, and without turning to address him, spoke lowly.

“Not a single, word.”

Phil lowered the book in his hand and raised a hand defensively with a shrug. He was sat in the living room, obscured in the large armchair from the kitchen; Techno was aware of his presence, however, and knew of his routine.

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Phil called out, though Techno was quick to respond.

“Phil, you are the least stealthy person on this planet.”

“No, no, I’m serious. I have nothing to say.”

Shaking his head in disbelief, Techno murmured a sure and moved to the front door, an apple in one hand and bag full of produce tucked in his other arm. He stated that he was going check on the animals and slammed the door close harshly.

Moments passed as Phil sat in silence, save for the crackling fire that roared beside him, before speaking as if he could still hear him.

“To think, I sent you to the store and you brought back a kid.”

#mcyt x reader #mcyt x you #mcyt fanfiction #dream smp x reader #dream smp x you #dsmp x reader #technoblade imagines #technoblade x gn!reader #technoblade x reader #technoblade x you #father!technoblade x reader #platonic!technoblade x reader

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bakulova · 3 years ago

Text

Resident Evil Characters w/ a chubby S/o

Alcina Dimitrescu:

I think because of her chest size and her thickness she herself would be a little chubby. She’d probably have a belly love pouch . So she would definitely understand you if you were insecure about your body. But I also think she would help you love your body like she love on yours. When you are feeling very insecure about your body she will make sure to comfort you by kissing you everywhere and I mean everywhere stomach, legs, anywhere your stretch marks reach. Also when you try to go on a diet she will support you all the way but when she starts to notice its taking a toll on you, she stops you. she doesn’t want you to get hurt. She panics anytime you do that, she can’t help it. She definitely scolds you and shows her vulnerability after scolding you. Tearing up and holding you in her arms is a must. After that you kinda use that as a motivation to love yourself more.

She walks into you guys bedroom to which she finds you crying. Tissues spread all over the bed. You mid blow. She takes off her hat and her gloves. She sits in the side of the bed and worriedly holds your hand. “My dear? What’s wrong” Your head held down “Nothing” She moves closer and holds you face with her hands. “Clearly something is wrong” you try to move away, feeling ashamed. “No don’t move away from me love. Please tell me what is wrong?” you sigh and look her dead in the eye “Some maidens were talking about my eating habits and... my looks, wondering how I could be with someone so beautiful like you...” her heart almost burst with rage. Eyes in flames wanting find this maiden and kill them. “Who was it my dear?” she caresses your face with her thumbs. You weakly say “the one with a big birthmark under her left eye” Alcina immediately knew. Her daughters were always telling her about this maid doing something stupid but she was her favorite maid because she got the work done. I guess the praise got to her head. Time to take care of the problem but for now comforting you is the top priority. She climbs all the way in bed and tucks you in, getting comfortable. she sighs and smells in your scent. She kisses the top of your head and runs her hands through your hair. “Don’t worry love she’ll be taken care of by tonight. Pay no mind to what any maids in this castle have to say. You are the most beautiful person in the whole world, don’t let worthless beings make you think otherwise.” You smile and look up at her and nod becoming more comfortable and less sad. Alcina now feels successful in the comfort part now she needs to finish the rest.

Bela Dimitrescu:

Now with Bela, seeing as she is calm/quiet and the sister with the brains. She would see your struggles and silently observe. She secretly follows where you go seeing how you act by yourself. When she sees you crying to yourself in front of the mirror is when she’s had enough observing and more action. she dissipates into flies and appears next’s to you in a flash. She holds you from behind and puts her head on your shoulder, staring at you intensely.

“What?” you whisper weakly while sniffling. “Why must you do this to yourself? you’re perfect my love.” “You think so but I don’t” you snap back. She sighs and turns you chubby cute face towards her. Looking at your cheeks pushing your lips up reminds her of a fish, a cute one at that. She softly grins and kisses your soft lips. “Don’t cry my love. All that matters is that I find you delicious and hopefully nobody else or they’re gone.” she widens her smile. You nod and notice the blood on her face and quickly look back at the mirror and gasp “Bela this is disgusting” you say while wiping it off frantically, she starts giggling.You turn around and wet the rag you were using and start cleaning her to rid of the blood. She backs you to the sink (btw your in the bathroom and the door was open prob should’ve mentioned that before but oh well) her arms on either side of you, towering over you, licking her lips. You gulp at her sudden change. She leans in and kisses you deeply to which takes you by surprise by the passion in it. She pulls away leaving you wanting more and says “Please don’t tear yourself down my love, you’re beautiful as is...” you nod “as long as you keep kissing me like that forever” you both laugh and she takes hold of your waist and takes you to her bedroom for proper cuddling.

Cassandra Dimitrescu:

OK with Cassandra she’s kinda in the middle yk. She can be a sadist but also caring but in a ‘I don’t show you I like you but trust me I do’ . She keeps tabs in you during the day. Checking up on you to see what you’re doing before going back to doing her thing. Whenever catching you feeling insecure she makes sure to try her best at showing her affection for you. Feeding you extra, kissing you, forcing you to cuddle with her. She just wants you to go back to normal. She doesn’t like to see you vulnerable. I’d also say she struggles to comfort you considering she likes to just kill, torture and mock her victims everyday so comforting is a change.

You were just simply sitting in the library reading while having hot chocolate considering how cold it was outside. Some maidens were cleaning the dust near you. You took a split look in case you were in the way and you couldn’t help but see how skinny and beautiful they were compare to yourself. You look back at your book trying not to tear up. You shake your head and close the book, leaving the hot chocolate not feeling confident to continue the day. Walking in the halls trying to keep yourself from crying. You suddenly hear flies buzzing, knowing already who it was you paused trying to stop the tears from getting ready to overflow. “Hello my prey~~” Cassandra hooks her left arm around you shoulders and whispers into your ear “whatcha doin?” You shake her off and run off hiccuping crying. It didn’t help because she just followed you all the way to the shared room. You collapsed onto the bed, face buried into the pillows. The fly buzzing returns as disappears just as quick as it came. You continue crying for some time, so long you thought she was gone. You sit up and look around seeing that she was standing there frozen. You stare in confusion. She then makes eye contact and moves forward and takes her cloak off for more comfort and climbs on top of your legs and kisses you deeply it shocked you. She pushes you back onto the pillows and continues kissing you. Once she’s satisfied with the make-out session she pulls away to admire her work. “So hot seeing you under me all flustered like that” you look away “No I’m not” she tilts her head “I’m not hot” you say annoyed. She gives you a stank face “You ARE HOT” emphasis on hot. You roll your eyes and try to cover your face but she caught your hands right before. “Don’t I wanna see your sexy face” “ugh Cassandra enough” she pauses for a second still holding your hands. she squints her eyes at you then just plop on you with her 6′4 self. “shut up YOU ARE SEXY and HOT. YOU ARE ALL OF THE ABOVE DEAR” it was so amusing to you that you started laughing and trying to push her off but to no avail. she stayed until she felt like you were feeling better. she sits up and grins down at you. “feeling better?” she raises an eyebrow. she admires you out of breath and stares to thing on 18+ things and grins widely. “if not I have an idea” her hands start creeping up under your shirt and that’s where we move on folks.

Daniela Dimitrescu:

Now Daniela is delusional right? so I don’t think she would notice until a maiden or someone said something bad about you. she wouldn’t even notice when your in a bad mood. She kinda clings to you wherever you go so nobody says anything to your face. but you can feel the judgey gazes. They look at you in disgust but daniela doesn’t see them blinded by you and your beauty. After a while of you pushing her away constantly you blow up.

“DANIELA STOP LEAVE ME ALONE” she stops trying to cuddle you and her attitude changes. “w-what?” your eyes widened “I’m so sorry” you back away from her and run away while she stays still frozen staring at where you once stood. Her sisters gather behind her “Dani what’s going on? what was that?” Bela asked. She shrugs and starts to tear up not expecting that. she swallows the lump growing in her throat and excuses herself following fast after you. she finds you sitting outside under the gazebo in the courtyard... in the cold . she wants to run after you she can’t. she tries banging on the window careful not to break it but you ignore it. She curses and looks around and sees a nearby maiden and tells her to go out there a tell your ass to come back in but to bring a blanket. The maid instantly complies grabbing the needed blanket and bravely walks out into the freezing cold to you. she wraps the blanket around you and persuades you to come inside. You come in and immediately gets swooped up and brought into a room. A very familiar room in fact. You try to disappear into the blanket but nonetheless its torn from you and there is Daniela looking like a kicked puppy. It makes you feel so guilty. She pulls you in and sighs turning into a sob. one hand cups your head and the other your back. You both just sit on the ground holding each other. It felt like eternity before either of you spoke. “I’m sorry” you both say at the same time. You both giggle. She continues “I’m sorry for pushing your buttons my dear” she pulls away and caresses the hair out of your face considering it was windy and gross outside. You tiredly smile “no no this was my fault I was insecure and then blew up on you and worried you like crazy.” she purses her lips “no I’m pretty sure this was my fault for not noticing” she makes a funny face which makes you smile “I love you so much Dani” she blushes “I love you too s/o”

Karl Heisenberg:

This man now was taken away from his family when he was a child so he never grew up with affection. I think he would struggle with comforting you at first but he definitely gets better because he doesn’t like when the only thing good in this shit hole is depressed. So expect him to just glomp on you and stay there no matter what. With this he would be patient no matter what, you getting annoyed for him just staying there but you soon realize it’s just to make you feel better. Kisses and sweet nothings are a must. He encourages you and makes sure you know you are everything and more.

You were out and about at the village collecting necessities for you both. A group of men started whispering amongst each other. You didn’t mind it at first and continued shopping until you noticed that they were everywhere you were. Following you with judging looks. You shiver feeling the daggers stabbing your back. You sigh just wanting to get this over. The men started to get more bold and getting up close and acting like they were looking at the items. In reality they were giving you side looks. You continued to ignore until a burly musty man growled and shouted “I don’t know why were taking so long to get to the point!” You stop and look at him afraid now really wishing that Karl was here. You start to shake by how nervous you were. I mean imagine a group of men circling you and shouting at you. The men start getting too close and grabbing you and yelling in your face. Profanities are thrown around, degrading you for being who you are, manhandling but it all stops when 3 lycans come from nowhere and start attacking the men. The big burly man who started it tried to fight but figured out he didn’t have the proper tool to kill the lycan so he dropped the stick and ran for his life only to be stopped by Karl himself with more lycans behind him waiting to kill. The man bows before Karl. Begging for his useless life. This man was far over the edge to be given mercy. You hurriedly run to Karl tears falling. “K-Karl” he signals for you to go behind him. You quickly comply lycans coming up to you and rubbing their heads under your hand to which you pet them to calm your shaking self. Karl makes some sort of signal to which the lycans stopped attacking the men and leaving. Other villagers stopped breathing and watch this all go down. A woman comes up “Please please please forgive my foolish husband please!” she starts begging like her pathetic husband. Karl snorts looking at her “Your husband and his fuck buddies need to pay for starting shit my sweetheart.” the wife starts to cry and looks at you “please please stop him. PLEASE” she starts to rush towards you only for Karl push her back so she falls next to her husband. Karl starts sucking his teeth “see now you shouldn’t have done that” he turns and hold your shoulder and starts walking away lycans making a path for the both of you. Hammer on one shoulder you on the other. He lifts his hammer into the air and lycans starting howling?? and rush towards to villagers who screamed and run. You get one look back to see the man being mauled to death. “Keep looking forward darlin. You don’t need to see that” You nod and lean you head against him sniffling. Once back at the factory he throws the hammer somewhere and the basket of stuff you bought on a table. He picks you up with ease and rushes off to relax with you. You spent the rest of that night being loved on and speaking about anything other than that. “I will always protect you buttercup” he whispers are you slip into sleep.

Donna Beneviento:

Ok so I don’t know much about Donna but I know she is a quiet, shy and seems to be pretty insecure about herself specifically her face hence the face cover. So you too are struggling to support each other. But also trying to the best of your abilities. Like making sure the other is not lacking in an everyday things. I see Angie also trying to keep the spirits up by joking around and pushing you guys to do more. Also I think Donna craves for touch but to shy to ask. When she’s feeling insecure Angie will make sure to tell you so then you can go and hug her and love you. When its you who’s feeling insecure she and Angie will put a little something together with the help from other dolls. She surprises you by shyly giving it to you and waiting for your reaction.

Donna hands you a box, gift wrapped any everything. Lately you haven’t been feeling thee best but you continued living. You had looked in the mirror recently and just watched. The way you looked. Moving your stomach around to how you wished it looked and smiling when doing so but when you let go you stop smiling. That kind of feeling. You look at her confused to which she gestures for you to open it. You start unwrapping the gift and open the box to see 2 puppets. Cloth ones. They looked familiar? Then you turned them over and realized it was you too. A little Donna and Y/N. You giggle at how cute it was and also realized that they were holding hands and the puppets looked so peaceful and so happy. You looked up at Donna who was playing with her hands. You put down the dolls and giver her a big hug to which Angie and the other dolls start cheering because they had work so hard thinking and putting this gift together. You carefully lift Donna’s face cover and warmly smile. “Thank you my dear. I love them” she blushes and slowly works up the confidence to make eye contact with you. When she finally does she gives you a nervous but happy smile back. You cup her cute face and give her a kiss on the lips to which she returns quickly loving the affection. Once you pull away she hold onto your wrist not wanting to stop holding her face. “I’m glad you liked it love” and for the rest of the day was spent cuddling and doing things together with the puppets sitting on the middle of the bed.

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Note: This was not edited yet so excuse me if there are any words missing in a sentence I tend to think faster than I can type. Also I hope you liked this and more coming soon!!

#resident evil village #resident evil 8 #alcina dimitrescu x reader #bela dimitrescu x reader #cassandra dimitrescu x reader #daniela dimitrescu x reader #karl heisenberg x reader #donna beneviento x reader

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robininthelabyrinth · 4 years ago

Note

A continuation of NHS invites WWX to JYL's wedding, and what happened there? Perhaps about how the estemed Hanguang Jun ended up running off and eloping with the Nie sect heir's intended?

continuation of that short fic, now it’s own fic on ao3

Plus One - Chapter 2

“So,” Nie Huaisang said, sidling up to his brother and his two sworn brothers now that they’d finally gotten to the party part of the wedding and they could all huddle up in a corner to be anti-social together.

Or, well, for Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen to be anti-social and for Jin Guangyao to be forcefully restrained from attempting to perform hosting duties, which he incessantly tried to do - it was like he had no idea what servants were for. Which Nie Huaisang supposed was understandable, given everything, but the way Jin Guangshan encouraged him to do it certainly wasn’t.

“So,” Nie Mingjue said, his voice only mildly ominous in a way that suggested, to Nie Huaisang at least, that he was still finding this whole thing incredibly funny.

Accordingly, Nie Huaisang ignored him. “How much do you think I can milk being horribly dumped?” he asked. “Because I think I’m about to be horribly dumped.”

“By your new ‘intended’?” Lan Xichen said, looking amused. “Really, Huaisang, I don’t know what you were thinking by bringing him.”

“Uh, that he deserves to attend his shijie’s wedding? Obviously?”

“But to bring him to Lanling…”

“He’s my guest,” Nie Huaisang said haughtily, bringing out his fan and doing his best ‘rich young master who is better than this and is most certainly above your petty questions’ Jin sect impression. “You aren’t suggesting that the Jin sect would take back an invitation they freely issued, would they? Or breach the rules of hospitality?”

“Huaisang, Xichen didn’t mean it that way and you know it,” his brother said, sounding annoyed, but in his relaxed run-of-the-mill ‘I hate parties’ type of annoyance, rather than specifically about his behavior. “Obviously the Jin sect won’t do anything about it. Regardless of any other considerations, anything they did would be refusing to show our Nie sect face, and then I’d have to make an issue of it.”

He sounded wistful. Probably thinking about how he could use it as an excuse to storm out and go home early.

“We’re only worried about you, Huaisang,” Jin Guangyao murmured, looking remarkably calm for someone who was definitely (if unobtrusively) being blocked from leaving by two very tall men with excessive mother hen tendencies. “You’re all grown up now, not a child – you need to think about the political implications your actions might have. Aren’t you concerned about your brother’s reaction?”

Huaisang was about to explain that he’d gotten his brother’s permission, but then he remembered that they were in Lanling, full of spies, so he decided to tell Jin Guangyao about that later.

“It’s not my problem that Sect Leader Nie has to think about politics at what should be a happy family event,” he said instead, nose in the air, and Lan Xichen frowned even as Nie Mingjue sighed, probably at Nie Huaisang’s total lack of caring about even the basic obligations of etiquette. Or possibly his reference to their little inside joke, but these were his sworn brothers, so they’d have to figure out sooner or later that Sect Leader Nie and Nie Mingjue weren’t always the same. “Besides, that isn’t what I asked. I asked about how long I can milk my terrible heartbreaking break up.”

“I thought you were getting dumped?” his brother asked, passing him a jar of wine. A good brother, even if he was mocking him.

“Getting dumped leads to a break-up,” Nie Huaisang insisted. “Wei-xiong is a thankless white-eyed wolf who was just using me with absolutely no consideration of my tender feelings.”

“You have tender feelings?” his brother said. “Why wasn’t I informed of this?”

Nie Huaisang kicked him in the shin.

As usual, it had no impact whatsoever on his brother and only hurt his own toes, but it was the principle of the thing.

“Huaisang,” Lan Xichen said, his voice oddly gentle, even softer than normal. “Did you – really – for Wei Wuxian –”

Nie Huaisang, who’d been taking a drink of wine, nearly choked. “Er-ge,” he said, mildly horrified. “Please. Wei-xiong is a very handsome gentleman, fearless and dashing, with all the skills one might ask for in a son-in-law –”

“Brother-in-law,” his brother muttered, as if he hadn’t been Nie Huaisang’s de facto father figure for years.

“– and, yes, I suppose we have similar tastes in drinking, carousing, and pornography –”

“Of course you do,” Jin Guangyao said, looking up at the ceiling as if it would hide how his lips were twitching.

“– but let us not forget: he lives in a trash heap. With Wen sect. I have standards!”

“I thought he was marrying in?” Lan Xichen asked, smiling again now that he had confirmed that there was no actual heart-breaking occurring in the vicinity. “He’d live in the Unclean Realm that way, wouldn’t he?”

“He would not,” Nie Mingjue put in. “I don’t care if they’re all enlightened saints that do nothing but charity all day, no one surnamed Wen is living in my home.”

“You see what I’m up against?” Nie Huaisang said, holding out his hands in appeal to his brother’s sworn brothers. “My da-ge doesn’t understand, he’s only good for swinging a saber! How cruel and heartless must a man be to stand in the way of true love?”

Lan Xichen covered his smile with his sleeve. Jin Guangyao pressed his lips together in such a way that made his cheeks especially round and quivering with suppressed laughter, like a mouse stuffing its face to bulging with rice.

“Er-ge, you wouldn’t be nearly this cruel if it were you, would you?” Nie Huaisang asked, reaching out and tugging said sleeve. “You’d be kind and generous about it – I bet you’d find them a nice little place to live, maybe next to those foothills you’re always saying you want someone to use but that you’re not willing to sell…”

“Were you planning on moving in with er-ge after your marriage, then?” Jin Guangyao asked. He looked much more amused and relaxed now – maybe he’d been stressing over this being some sort of scheme and was feeling much better now that he realized it was actually just Nie Huaisang’s nonsense. His paranoia had always been deeply endearing. “I don’t think your brother will like that.”

“Not me,” Nie Huaisang said, rolling his eyes at him. “But if it was Lan Zhan sweeping him away, er-ge would definitely support him. Right, er-ge?”

“I always support my brother,” Lan Xichen said with a smile.

“Good,” Nie Huaisang said, taking another swallow of wine. “Because he and Wei Wuxian just had a very intense conversation in a secluded corner that ended with them kissing and running off together, so it’s about to become your problem.”

Nie Mingjue choked, Jin Guangyao’s jaw dropped, and Lan Xichen’s eyes got really big.

“Not joking,” Nie Huaisang clarified cheerfully. “Totally serious.”

“Excuse me,” Lan Xichen said, getting up very quickly. “I need to – go see –”

He didn’t even bother finishing the sentence before rushing off.

“Go with him,” Nie Mingjue said to Jin Guangyao, who blinked owlishly at him. “It’s going to be a shitshow, isn’t it? Politically, I mean.”

“Uh,” Jin Guangyao said.

“Really, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang said. “The notorious ostracized-by-the-cultivation-world demonic cultivator Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch, is abruptly reintroduced to society as my intended bride, only to be stolen away by the Lan sect’s Second Jade, the second most desirable bachelor in the cultivation world, in the middle of a wedding party thrown by Lanling Jin? I have no idea why you think this would so much as raise an eyebrow.”

“That’s a lot of words to say ‘shitshow’, which is why I didn’t,” Nie Mingjue said. “Meng Yao – Jin Guangyao – oh, fuck it, A-Yao, someone is going to need to keep their head about them and think about the political implications long enough to keep Xichen from getting himself into serious trouble, and you’re better at it than I am. Go help him. I’ll cover for you two here.”

Jin Guangyao still looked torn.

“Don’t listen to da-ge, he’s worrying too much,” Nie Huaisang volunteered his own opinion. “How much trouble can the Lan sect really get into over a matter of love?”

“I’m going at once,” Jin Guangyao said, and ran after Lan Xichen.

A moment later, Nie Huaisang handed the jar of wine back to his brother.

“Well done,” he said, voice much more neutral than it had been a moment before. “Assuming your goal was to deprive Sect Leader Jin of san-ge’s assistance while we define the situation to make it come out the way we want.”

“Couldn’t have done it without your timely assist,” Nie Mingjue said, pinching the bridge of his nose. He did so hate politics, and he hated being good at it even more. Truly there was nothing better, in Nie Huaisang’s opinion, than forcing his brother to relent and give in to the sneaky bastard half of his heritage. “Anyway, Sect Leader Jin is drunk and his heir is the groom, and thus occupied. It’s only reasonable that I, as the person with the next highest status, take charge of dispersing the news.”

“And by ‘dispersing the news’ you mean rehabilitate Wei-xiong’s reputation, get him reinstated in the Jiang sect, and arrange an appropriate marriage between him and Lan Zhan before anyone can complain about an inappropriate elopement, of course.”

“It’s called being efficient, Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue said.

“It’s called creating a countervailing alliance to the Jiang-Jin sect connection, getting both the Jiang sect and the Yiling Patriarch to owe our sect a favor – not to mention the Lan sect, too! – and conveniently also undercutting Sect Leader Jin’s authority just at the moment he’s trying to install himself as the new ruler of the cultivation world.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue said, finishing off the jar and putting it down. “I’m far too stupid to be considering any of that. Only good for swinging a saber, remember?”

Nie Huaisang sniggered.

“Yes, I remember,” he said. “You won a whole war against a much stronger, more numerous, and more unified force on Baxia’s strength alone, no brains required. How can I help? You want me crying or excited?”

“Whatever you think is best, Huaisang.” His brother solidified his scowling angry face, just the sort of thing a dumb brute might wear when dealing with politics that he was far too ignorant to understand. “Let’s go right some injustices, shall we?”

#mdzs #nie huaisang #nie mingjue #jin guangyao #lan xichen #my fic #my fics #plus one #mentalcarebear

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yesimwriting · 4 years ago

Text

The Promise of Rain, Blurb 3

Technically the third in a blurb-ish series (though this is kinda long for a blurb lol) but can technically be read as a stand alone, but i think the other parts make this seem more significant lol

A/n kinda angsty, not sure if i loveeee this but i haven’t posted a fic in such a long time bc of graduation chaos but now it’s summer and i’m working on a lot of requests/stories :))

Summary: jealousy is out of place when there’s no real warrant for it, and sometimes it’s okay to be content--to not need the rain to make you promises.

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x sunshine-y! reader

Tiredness dulls the part of me that craves the rambunctious, but I’m still positive. I smile when someone does something only the truly inebriated find comical. I laugh when something somewhat actually funny happens, and I let the world around me drink. Twenty minutes--in twenty minutes I will claim a headache and go upstairs.

“You okay, y/n?” Jesper’s concern would border on genuinely considerate if it wasn’t for the slightest hint of slur in his words. Nights in which he consols himself after losing game after game are when he’s the friendliest. “You’re strangely quiet--you’re never quiet.”

I press my lips together oddly, smiling in a way that finally reaches my eyes. Jesper’s nice in an oddly particular way when he’s tipsy. Overly observant and careful. “Just a little tired,” I shift in my seat, leaning back against the plush seat in Kaz’s office, “I wish Kaz would just get here and dismiss us so I can go to bed.”

Jesper smiles, lifting his arm slightly and causing his glass to sway. Kaz is not going to take it well when he realizes that Jesper was extremely involved in the downstairs celebration. He turns ungracefully, moving to sit next to me with no warning. I half-heartedly glare as he takes up most of the small couch.

“You’re grumpy when you’re tired,” Jesper hums, stretching his casually.

I sigh once, but it lacks any bite. “I do not.”

He smiles easily, tilting his head so far to the side that it falls against the back of the seat, “No...but I know the real reason you’re grumpy.”

Rolling my eyes, I suppress my instinctual reaction. That would only expose his words as true. “I am not grumpy, there is no reason--”

“You know he hated it.”

I exhale, tired and slowly losing my fragine hold on fake tranquility. “Yeah.” That should make it better. “I know.” It doesn’t--it doesn’t make anything better.

So the contact we so desperately needed on our side took to flirting with Kaz. It was an uncomfortable situation because of its precariousness and I was worried because I know about his issues with touch. But it’s not like I care about the flirting part. No. It was unprofessional and so easily turned messy--that’s what my problem was.

Jesper sighs, stretching even more. I let him stretch his legs over me, too tired to push him off. I sigh, setting my chin on his bent knees. “What’s with the face, l/n?”

I roll my eyes again. Sometimes having someone care about you is annoying. I take back all of my positive thoughts about him--Jesper Fahey is an annoying drunk.

“There’s no face,” despite my words, I feel my expression sour even further. Jesper’s expression shifts from that of gentle worry to teasing pride. “And if there was one, it wouldn’t be because of Kaz Brekker.”

Jesper’s lips twitch upwards, something strange tainting his tipsy grin. “I never said a name.”

“One more condescending comment, and I’m shoving you off this damn couch.”

He laughs flatly, shifting closer and making himself more comfortable. Drunk and touchy--anyone else would have been slapped by now. “You’re nicer after some of this.”

He holds his glass out towards me casually, amber liquid sloshing slightly. I blink at the liquid with slight disinterest. I’m not exactly in the drinking mood...but I’m not exactly in the mood for any of this. The sound of the door opening doesn’t phase me--it’s not Inej, because she never lets herself be heard. Kaz doesn’t say anything, taking one dull step and then another, footsteps leaching the room of any warmth. The coldness he exudes so easily as a mask is strong tonight, I haven’t even looked at him and I can feel it.

Maybe I do need a drink.

I take the glass from Jesper, taking a quick and shallow sip of the liquid. It’s offensive in smell, taste, and the way it spills down my throat. The taste is much more intense than expected, some of the liquid slips past the corner of my mouth. Somehow more bitter than this moment, the liquid leaves me ready to splutter like a child. I exhale, pushing through the burning. Jesper moves his hand forward absentmindedly, wiping a single drop of liquid from my chin carelessly. The gesture would be sweet if my throat burned less.

“Jesper,” the warmth of the alcohol takes root in my chest, “That’s--” He laughs at my reaction, coaxing a smile from me. “Like literally the worst--why do you even have this?” If this is served in the Crow Club, I’ve never heard of it, this is the kind of under the counter alcohol that isn’t mass produced.

He laughs a little more freely. “Won it off of someone passing through--I don’t always lose.”

I wrinkle my nose, “An outlier shouldn’t be--”

“Oh, shut up.” Jesper laughs again.

“Both of you ‘shut up’,” Kaz sighs, stepping further into the room, “If you need to drink, at least wait until after my meeting.” I frown, ignoring Kaz’s lingering and sharp gaze, “You should all follow Inej’s example.”

“We can’t even see Inej.”

Kaz raises an eyebrow, but he regards me with nothing but voidness. He’s never exactly emotive, but normally in moments like this something I can never interpret touches his expression, coloring it human. “Exactly.”

“You’re funnier than people give you credit for.” The comment isn’t exactly sarcastic, but it’s something lighter than I should be offering. It’s an attempt at peace, the slight stiffness between us is starting to bother me. Our usual dynamic isn’t exactly friendly, but it’s more than this. Kaz glares. “But not tonight.”

His expression hardens. “Business is business. It’s not humor, it’s not whatever you try to make it.” Right. Just like it was business when that girl spent more time hitting on him than actually revealing real information. The thought leaves my expression tight as I swallow back my instinctual words. “It’s not whatever you’re currently doing.”

It takes me longer than it should to realize he’s referring to the position Jesper and I are in. Can he relax? It’s not my fault Jesper is tipsy and touchy.

“Kaz,” Inej’s voice is soft yet determined as she emerges from the shadows. It’s a miracle the way she’s nothing more than a shadow until she chooses not to be. “What’s our next job?”

Prompting Kaz in order to prevent a fight--Inej, always the closest thing to a mom available. I give her a partial smile, glad that she’s wedging herself between us and the tension, preventing conflict I’m too tired to follow through on.

“A merchant’s house,” he begins slowly, “We’ll be searching a merchant’s house but I’m seeking evidence more than property.” Jesper swings his legs off the couch with no warning. My head falls. I glare at Jesper who offers me a slightly apologetic tsk before dropping his head on my shoulder. Kaz must note the exchange because something in his expression tightens. He’s extra irritable today. “I’ll disclose more tomorrow,” he sighs once, already turning away, “Most of you are beyond listening tonight anyways.”

He’s at the door before I can tell him that I’m not drunk. The door opens and closes, but Kaz’s heaviness lingers like led. I frown, letting my head fall to the side, resting on Jesper’s.

“He’s weird today,” I mumble, unsure if I want a reply.

“He’s always like that,” Jesper breathes, “You’re losing your novelty, y/n--he always learns to harden himself against anything bright.”

The words leave me even more tired. “I don’t think I’m particularly bright.”

“Kaz does,” Inej replies, “And it has nothing to do with ‘novelty’, Jesper’s just cynical when he drinks.” I don’t know if I believe her, but I like knowing that Inej thinks that. “And Kaz can’t harden himself against you, and he hates that.”

I press my lips together, straightening my spine. “I’m not that great, and whatever Kaz does or doesn’t harden himself against doesn’t affect me at all.” My nails press into the plush seat. “I don’t even know why we’re talking about this because whatever he does or doesn’t feel doesn’t matter to me.” I force myself up, doing all I can to seem perfectly calm. “All I care about is going to bed.”

Turning my head, I start to approach the door. Kaz has been strangely cold all night, and while I’m used to his moods, he hasn’t exactly directed them at me so fully since the day he caught me waiting for him to wake up after he almost died. If he wants to go back to how it used to be, then it can. Maybe I’ll care in the morning, when the growing weight of my eyelids is no longer a distraction.

“Sometimes the two of you confuse me,” Inej begins, “And sometimes I see you try to deal with emotion and I see the common ground.”

The words leave me cold. I don’t think being compared to Kaz is an insult, not when there’s so much it could mean. He’s much more complex than he wants to be. There is goodness within him, gilding the parts of him that are more shards than anything else.

I exhale, refusing to turn. Inej is too observant for her own good. “There is no emotion.”

“I’m not going to waste my time arguing over that because I know it’s a waste of time.” She pauses and I consider turning around in hopes of reading something less honest from her expression. “I’m just telling you as a friend that one of you needs to be mature and talk to the other tonight before the tension gets worse and that it’s not going to be him.”

She’s right. I exhale, “Do you think I should let him go?” Even just saying that leaves my heart aching. I know instantly that that’s not what I want, but it might be what he wants--it might be the best option. I might have the strength to let him go if I work at it. “I don’t--that’s not what I want and I’m not sure I could, but maybe that’s selfish of me.”

“Y/n.” I turn slowly, but I purposefully avoid her gaze, keeping my head down. “I know that I’ve known Kaz longer than you, and I know that when he’s getting along with you he’s,” she trails off, uncertain, “More him, in a good way.”

My heart swells, and with that comes feelings of panic. I never wanted to change him--to make him better or worse or anything; all I’ve ever wanted is to know him and to maybe help him with his burden. And to hear that maybe I’ve done that from someone so close to him--someone so observant and aware. That’s everything. And that terrifies me. Nothing good can last; nothing that seems to be all you could ever want actually is. I know that from life before the Crows, before I ran away from the castle I called home.

“I think he does the same for you.” I’ve never really thought about Kaz’s effect on me outside of the fact that he makes me feel warm in small moments and painfully seen in large ones.

I smile because she’s trying and she’s given me something. “I’d say I’d tell you when I make my decision, but something tells me you’ll know.”

She nods, expression shifting to something kind. “Goodnight, y/n.”

Jesper stretches out on the couch, settling himself comfortably, “Night, y/n.”

“Goodnight, guys.” I disappear past the door easily, heading towards my room.

I haven’t decided whether or not I’m going to look for Kaz tonight. How much damage could be done in one night? Maybe he needs space. Maybe seeking him out now will make things worse. I exhale, opening the door to my room easily. I’ll decide before going to sleep.

When I step into the room, everything is in place. Everything is fine--but something about it feels off. The light is on. I didn’t leave the light on. Nothing else raises any red flags, so I continue into the room calmly, examining everything carefully. Nothing feels out of place as I further enter the room. I take in my bed, my dresser, and lastly my nightstand.

My heart swells all over again, but this time it feels even heavier than before. On the center of my nightstand, in perfect condition, is a copy of Pride and Prejudice. The same book I told Kaz about, the one thing besides clothing I took from the palace. I told him it was my mother’s favorite and then he asked me to read it to him.

I can’t picture him seeing this and thinking of me. I can’t picture him thinking of me--but no one else knew about my attachment to the book. I need to find him. I need to--to see him, to speak to him. To look him in the eye and see something I only ever see when we’re alone. Maybe he won’t have that look this time, but that’s okay.

I can’t expect to always understand him, but that does not mean I don’t know him.

The thought leaves me feeling a little more settled within the boundaries of my skin, but I don’t ease entirely. The good is more frightening than the bad. My fear of happiness is a benign secret I haven’t had to worry about in years. I don’t know enough about it to know how to deal with it let alone mention it to Kaz. Not that it’s his problem.

I squeeze the book to my stomach. Swallowing pride is a difficult thing, but I’m used to it with him. It’s usually worth it with Kaz because sometimes when I try he tries in his own way. I should find him. He’s not awfully creative about where he goes when he wants to be alone because people know better than to bother him. Kaz is probably in his attic or getting air outside or…

The lights were on when I came in. I’m an idiot. I didn’t feel weird when I walked into the room because of the book. Someone’s in here. He’s in here.

Setting the book down like I should have never touched it, I let out a sigh. “Lurking is unbecoming.”

“It’s also unbecoming to work for me and be so easily distracted by a book.” His voice reveals nothing as he emerges from the shadows. “I could have killed you with how long it took for you to notice my presence.” He pauses, eyebrows drawing together. “The light was on.”

Normally I’d have some kind of comment, some kind of joke that offers a more peaceful situation. “I know.” It’s a flat response. “I think on some subconscious level I knew,” I drop my gaze away from him, “I knew I was okay.” That sounds dumb. “I mean...I think I knew it was you so I knew I was okay.” Yeah, that wasn’t anymore eloquent. “That doesn’t make sense, but if you get to be confusing, I do too.”

“Confusing? There’s nothing to understand.” Curt. Simple. Dismissive.

I frown. ‘Nothing to understand’. Right, because there’s nothing confusing about how quickly he decided to dismiss me just to bring me some obscenely sentimental gift. “If you’re mad at me, you should at least tell me why.” I press my lips together. “At least that way I’ll know if I need to apologize or kick your ass.”

At that, he presses his lips together, corner of his mouth threatening to tilt upwards. “You would kick my ass?”

Great, even when he’s easing he has to be annoying. “I could.” There is no universe in which I could take him in a physical fight. “On a good day.” I let out a breath, doing all I can to not focus on his expression. Awkwardness settles in my chest as my eyes land on my bed. I sit down, trying not to let my shoulders slump tiredly as I stretch my legs across my bed. “You’re not having a good day.”

“My day is fine, I’m just not naively cheerful like you,” his words turn sharp, “Or Jesper.”

Weird addition. “Jesper’s not cheerful, he’s just drunk.” I let go of the ‘naive’ part, deciding to focus on the bigger picture. “And I’m not as naive or joyful as you think I am.” I’m not sure if I mean that as a rebuttal or just a fact. “I have bad days too.” This isn’t the kind of conversation I should have while this tired. “I could be less cheerful if you’d like.”

He’s so silent I momentarily wonder if he’s left. “No.” It’s not much, but I take it. Straightening my back, I pull my legs beneath me, intentionally creating space. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Ah, blatant rejection. It would sting if I was less in the right. “Maybe you’ll be less weird then.”

“I am not being weird.” At least I’m getting some kind of reaction from him. “You’re the one who--”

“Who what?” Finally--progress.

Kaz sighs, turning slightly. “You’re the one who decided to ignore me after we met with the contact.” I part my lips, ready to retort, but no words come. He did pick up on my slight annoyance, and he reciprocated it in a much larger way.

He can never know that this all came from some ridiculous, territorial--partial jealousy. “I didn’t mean to ignore you,” partial lie, “I’m just kind of in a weird place today, I’m tired.”

“Not too tired for Jesper, it seems.”

What? Is that what this is about? “What? All I did was sit there--he’s a touchy drunk and I just happened to be next to him.”

“You laugh with him,” he says this blankly, “You can touch him.”

The edge of unsafe territory cuts into me at an odd angle. Is this about him? Is he really tormenting himself over something so asinine to me when it comes to him? I’d rather have him than all the physical touch in the world. The book on the nightstand feels closer to me, growing by the prospect of its significance alone. That gesture, that’s more intimate than anything Jesper and I did downstairs.

“So?” I straighten my back slightly. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

He presses his lips together. “That’s the problem--anyone can manage meaningless contact…” The silence is louder than the words that came before it. Oh. I guess I’m not the only one who gets just a little jealous in an unwarranted way. “What if you were hurt? What if you were hurt and we were alone and you needed someone to help you and I couldn’t?” He lets out a sigh, a sound too tired for me to associate with him. “You say you don’t care now, but you’ll grow tired of it--the only life I can offer.”

Inej’s words about the similarities between Kaz and I echo in my mind. “Sometimes I don’t like when things are going well because I don’t know how to be truly content, fully happy.” Saying this twists my stomach. “I don’t know how to trust good things, so whenever there are good things I think about all the ways I could ruin something and then I do.” I take a breath. “I’m not saying that things are particularly good for you or that you’re happy, but I am saying that maybe you shouldn’t think three steps ahead when there’s nothing to think ahead about.” I regard his expression carefully, but nothing has changed. “I told you the only thing I want is to know you, and that’s not going to change.”

“Y/n,” his voice is low, “I am not rain--I can’t promise you anything.”

I scratch my knee, dropping my gaze. “For once I don’t want rain.”

Kaz sighs. “Get some sleep.” Something about the way he’s speaking is authoritative but it lacks any weight. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I frown freely, “Kaz--”

“You look tired,” he mumbles, “You need rest.” He’s using this as an excuse to escape his feelings, but he’s already given me more than I expected. Greed ruins things, but then again, so does selflessness. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“For the job?”

Something strange crosses his features as his expression teeters on shifting. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he repeats, a little more certain.

The response doesn’t satiate me. “Kaz--”

“I may not be the rain, but I’m capable of making promises as well.” There’s something final about the way he says this, but it doesn’t feel cruel.

Maybe I’d protest if my eyelids were less weighted. “Goodnight, Kaz.”

My head falls against the pillow. I’m not sure if he replies, too lost in the drawl of sleep before he can even close the door.

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