#it was honestly one of the few things i felt i was good at
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grapejuicestyless · 3 days ago
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Stupid F-ing Tattoo
JJ Maybank x Fem!reader
Summery: Y/n and JJ both had a few things in common. One, love didn’t exist. And two, they both wanted her dead.
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She wasn’t dead, but sometimes, he wished she was.
It was honestly fucked up, there was no silver lining. She hadn’t wronged him, or cheated, or lied. She was as guilty as a fish, and he was the shark. But he still wished she was dead.
Sometimes, JJ wondered if she wished the same thing. If some nights, if she ever were to by chance hear his laughter in a passing moment, maybe with his head hung out the back window of the Twinkie like she used to do, or in a lazy jog away from the cops, he wondered if she wished he would also, drop off the face of the earth to give her some peace.
Then he would remember that even though it didn’t feel like it, he had won. Because she had no peace, and he was certain she never would. While he was up all night wishing her to be gone, she was up all night praying for the same thing.
She often told him that the only things keeping her going were him and her dog, but mostly her dog. An old white dog, a stray she’d taken in when she was merely seven. He was as crusty as they get, and while he and his friends often joked about how gross the old thing was, she happily scratched behind his ears and reminded him of how good he was always.
But the dog was getting old, and JJ had long been extracted from her life. Sometimes he wondered if his prayers meant something, and then he would get on his knees and take them all back in a guilty sob. Because JJ didn’t want her to die, he just hated the fact that he had fallen in love with someone who couldn’t fathom love more than he ever doubted it.
JJ felt like an asshole. What kind of person prays for another persons death? Especially someone like her?
He figured he liked her so much because they were so alike. Like the seasons, they were the coolest winters and the sweltering summer all at once. They were so close, yet so far. Like January and December. Born with the same love and loyalty, but destined to fall apart, prophets forced to be divided.
His finger hovered over her contact every night, but every time he thought of how she would answer, and his tongue would go dry. She would probably only say hello, and he would say it back, and the line would go quiet for a few minutes, just breathing in each others inhales, aligning his breath to hers, and then she would ask him why he was calling. He would say he didn’t know, but he hoped she was well, and she would wish the same for him because she always did, and she always meant it more because she never wished that he was dead. Then, she would ask if it was okay to let him go, and he would ramble about something and how it was all dumb to begin with. She would listen and then the line would go dead. Dead like how he sometimes wanted her.
He couldn’t bear the idea of letting her go again, even if he didn’t realize he had the first time.
They had just gotten matching tattoos. “P4L” poked into their ankles until the skin swelled red and even air burned. They were fucked, and it was a dumb idea.
JJ said it was the stupidest fucking tattoo he’d ever gotten. She had laughed, playfully pushing his arm away and setting the needle down.
“You don’t have any other tattoos.” She reminded him softly, eyes shining in the moonlight. The twinkles reminded him of the north star, and he felt that he too found home in the same way.
“Not yet.” He promised her, his fingers slotting between hers. “I’m gonna get your name tattooed right across my palm so I can hold you eternity.” JJ smiled, proud at his use of larger words. He’d felt like a poet then, smiling from ear to ear at himself, a dork by textbook definition.
“Well, then I’m going to get your name tattooed on my lips, so I have every reason to talk about you.” She promised him, and JJ remembered the look in her eyes, he knew it from the way John B looked at Sarah and the way Pope’s dad looked at his mom. He knew it was love.
He should never have confessed it.
He knew better than anyone that her mothers neglect had beaten her heart black and blue, and her cousins hatred towards her and her friends who had bullied her, he knew that much like him, love was a construct of some sort of fantasy, a promise of forever that could never be fulfilled, because eventually, someone has to leave.
She laughed, and then she cried. She promised JJ that she also loved him, loved him like a dog loved its owner, unwavering and loyal. But there was no way in hell she could ever love him the ways he wanted, and that hurt JJ because he had spent weeks working up the courage to even come to terms with his very real feelings.
“I can’t love you, JJ. I do, but I can’t because I can’t even promise myself that forever. I’ll break my own heart and I’ll blame you.” She had explained with tears streaming down her face. He regretted the way he yelled at her.
They never spoke again. His best friend, and the love of his life, her voice became a concept in his mind, and he swore that he had forgotten the sweetness of her smell. He hated that because that meant he was just like everyone else. Just another person who would miss her when she went.
So, he started wishing death on her. More for himself, until it became a prayer for her. She never laughed anymore, never smiled. When he saw her from afar, he’d noticed that she’d gone back to her friends she hated because suffering is better than loneliness when all you can think about is the quickest way to go.
He saw a girl floating in the ocean the a few days into the summer, her hair resembled Y/n’s and her eyes did too. It was only when he saw the way she seemed to fold herself into the water he knew it was her because only she would have the drive to try and let the ocean swallow her whole.
JJ ran as fast as he could out, wading through the crashing waves until he could wrap his arms around her. She was wet, cold, and limp. A hollow version of the woman she once was. It reminded JJ that she was just a girl, the same age as him, and he once again, felt guilty for ever wishing death on her.
When he laid her in the sand, he knew two things.
One, on her skin, she had another small tattoo scribbled down to memorize her love forever. His name, just two little letters, the same one, poked into her shoulder in the same font as their matching tattoo.
“Stupid fucking tattoo.” He cried, gritting his teeth together, his hands searching her body for any warmth he could cling to, a sign that maybe he hadn’t seen her too late.
The second thing he knew, through his salty tears and guilty heart, was something he prayed he would never have to witness, but something he had always wished for.
His prayers had been answered.
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gothwineaunts · 18 hours ago
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I don't want to make you feel guilty about it but do you have any updates about Shiloh?
Don't worry, I've been wanting to tell y'all what's up with Shiloh for awhile now! I just want to start with the disclaimer that I don't really have what I'd call "news" on it. It's in limbo at the moment, but for good reason. When you sign on with Webtoon you agree to give them digital exclusivity for a period of time. This is so you can't go and post your series somewhere else, because ofc webtoon wants readers to only be able to read it on their app. This is all fine, like it's all above-board, normal stuff. But as a result there's a span of time where you cannot post the series anywhere else, even if the series is finished. I don't wanna get too specific, but a few years. You've probably heard about Let's Play, right? How Mongie left the platform? The reason she can't immediately start posting Let's Play somewhere else, is because of this same thing. She, like all the other webtoons that leave or are canceled, needs to wait until the term is up before she can continue elsewhere. The clock on this resets whenever you post a new episode. So it's not like episode 1 is okay to post somewhere else before episode 10 is, it's the whole series or nothing. So with all that said. Shiloh's almost to the end of this term, and past a certain point we felt it no longer made sense to try to post S3 as a webtoon original because the moment we post even one episode, we'd have to wait all these years over again if/when we left. There's also been some writing on the wall for a minute that webtoon isn't keen on renewing Shiloh after S3, so there was also a possibility we'd come back, just to be canceled. And honestly that's alright with us, we have thought for some time now that Shiloh is better suited to a longer monthly issue release rather than shorter weekly ones, just with the genre it is. And besides, we wouldn't be able to keep up with webtoon's mandated weekly schedule while we're working on Nevermore at the same time. So TLDR; when Shiloh comes back it won't be as a webtoon original. But I'm not sure what it'll look like yet. Could be on canvas. Could be on patreon as like a free/fastpass sort of route, potentially. We know we want people to be able to read it for free no matter what. But the details are all sort of a toss up at the moment, because we still have a little more time to wait before we can do anything anyway. I'm sorry if that's not a very satisfying answer! It's why I've been dragging my feet on a proper announcement, because I don't have any hard dates or plans for y'all yet. But we have not abandoned Shiloh! It's been in deep freeze, but intentionally. And with plans to return at some point. We won't be abandoning it, it's a huge passion project for us. <3
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mayrose713 · 2 days ago
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Beautifully Cruel World-Chapter 9
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Series Masterlist | Previous | Next
ABO Non-Idol Stray Kids Universe Poly OT8 x Reader 18+ MDNI
Warnings in the Series Masterlist as well as any other information needed
Just so everyone knows, I have an end goal in mind but I honestly don't know how I'm fully getting there right now. So I hope everyone enjoys my scatter brained chapters
Chapter 9 
“Hey Binnie?” Y/n had woken up early knowing that Changbin does as well to either head to the gym in town or workout in the home gym.
“Morning pretty girl, you’re up really early.” He looks at the clock before grabbing a water bottle from the fridge having just come in from the home gym. “What’s up?”
“Could I use your phone while you finish working out?” She asks shyly. “To call my brother?”
“Of course baby.” He smiles, fishing his phone out of his packet before giving it to her. “I use the tablet and stereo in the gym anyways for music so you’re good to use it however long you need.
“Thanks.” She smiles and waits for him to go back into the gym before she decides to walk into the den, closing the door most of the way as she types in her brother's number and hits call.
“Hello?” A groggy voice that sounds like was just woken up answers fairly quickly.
“Hyuk? It’s Y/n.” 
“Holy shit, Y/n?” The voice perks up. “God you’ve had me so worried about you. I hadn’t heard from you in a bit and dad called saying he got a message from grandma and grandpa that you ran away for no reason. Where the fuck are you? Who’s phone are you calling from?”
“One of my fated alpha’s phone.” She tries to keep her voice light but in reality she’s about to break down. 
“Your fated alphas?” He sounds wary. 
Y/n sighs and starts explaining everything that had happened, including letting the injection wear off. 
“God I’m so sorry sis.” His heart breaks hearing everything she was put through. “I’m just glad you’re away from them and somewhere safe now.”
“Yeah.” She smiles through her tears. “This is the safest I’ve ever felt, really.”
“That’s good.” He sighs. “I want to meet your mates though.”
“Hyuk.” She whines at his overprotectiveness.
“Don’t give me that pup.” He scolds her. “Have they marked you yet?”
She hesitates. “...No.”
“Are they planning to?” 
“Well I believe so. A few of them said soon, so I’m sure they will.” She rambles.
“I’m just wanting to make sure Y/nn.” He tries to calm her down. “Don’t want them to take advantage of you, promising to mark you but never actually do just to get things from you and later sell you to the highest paying pack.”
“They wouldn’t do that.” She defends her mates but she isn’t sure if she’s trying to convince him or herself as she now starts to overthink everything.
“I’m just making sure.” Hyuk then sighs. “Listen, I’ve gotta go get ready for work. Text me when they get you your new phone and we’ll discuss meeting up soon.”
“Okay.” She nods even though he can’t see it. “Bye bro, love you.”
“Love you too sis, talk later.”
After she hangs up she takes in a shaky deep breath before letting the dam break and start sobbing in the nest. Little did she know that Changbin had finished his workout already and had heard her crying while talking on the phone. He didn’t eavesdrop or anything but stayed nearby until he heard her muffled talking stop and just her sobs come through the crack in the door. 
The alpha quickly walks in and when she sees him she lifts her arms up and he wraps himself around her, bringing her into his lap in the nest and gently rocks her as she cries into his shoulder.
“I’ve got you, pretty girl.” He whispers and coos at her. “You’re okay, just let it out.”
Chan opens the door having smelled her upset when he woke up and quickly came to find her. He gives Changbin a questioning look as he watches him soothe their omega.
“She called her brother.” Changbin mouths to him, slightly pointing to his discarded phone while trying not to disturb the girl in his arms.
The pack alpha nods and watches for a moment before leaving the two alone.
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆
“We’re taking you shopping at the mall in the next town over today.” Jeongin hugs Y/n from behind as she leans against the counter watching Minho cook. 
“Everyone?” She leans back against him.
“No, just Hyunjin and I.” He places his chin on her shoulder. “Hyun still feels bad and said he wanted to be the one who takes you.”
“And you are gonna be under the same rules we have for Felix and Jisung.” Chan walks in. “Rule number one being, you don’t leave the property without an alpha or beta and you don’t leave the town without an alpha. You can be in town with just Hyunjin or Seungmin but leaving town you need one of the four of us alphas.” She nods in understanding. “Lix and Ji can’t drive so we don’t usually have to worry too much about it but we ask you to please follow this rule.”
Minho steps up to her with a spoon. “Try this.” She eats from the spoon and her eyes light up. “Good? Not too spicy?”
“I like it.”
Minho smiles, turning back to the stove. “Rule number two, if you’re leaving the house, even to walk around the grounds a bit, let one of us know.”
Changbin, who’s been making a protein shake, turns to the room “Rule number three, we don’t keep anything from each other. If somethings bothering you, talk to us, no matter what.”
“Rule number four.” Jeongin steps away from the omega to grab Chan’s wallet as Hyunjin walks into the room. “If you want to have someone visit, like your brother, let all of us know first to make sure it's good timing for all of us.” 
“Got it.” She nods, taking mental note of everything. 
“Ready princess?” Hyunjin grabs the car keys from the hook and Jeongin grabs her hand now having Chan’s credit card in his pocket. 
“Yeah.” She nods letting the younger alpha lead her to the front door.
“Get whatever you want or need, baby girl.” Chan follows along to walk them out. “Get any clothes, makeup or skin care you want and need. If there’s anything you want to decorate your room with, then get it. Don’t worry about pricings or how much you’ve already gotten, okay?”
“Yes alpha.” 
“Good girl.” He kisses her cheek and stands on the porch as he watches them get in the car and drive off.
The drive was quiet for the most part besides the music playing and the occasional questions. Y/n still felt a bit iffy around Hyunjin. He’s been better around her, but it’s awkward still.
She follows closely behind them walking through the mall as she looks around at the different stores they go by and Jeongin quickly grabs her hand when she starts to lag behind a bit. 
“Where do you want to go first?”
“Any clothing store is fine.” She mumbles and Hyunjin grabs her other hand leading the two towards a shop and her eyes widen at the amount of clothes.
“Have at it princess, pick out anything you want.” Hyunjin smiles down at her. 
“I don’t even know where to start?” She looks around at the different wracks of clothes.
“We’ll help you.” Jeongin squeezes her hand before taking her to the first rack. 
They all pick out different clothes and she tries them on, some of which she was surprised how much she liked on her as she’s used to having just worn leggings and t-shirts for the last few years. But the sundresses, shorts, skirts, and blouses the boys picked out she loved. She almost felt more like herself for the first time in her life. 
Several stores and trips back and forth from the car later they were almost done. They had even picked up her new phone Chan had called ahead to have ready for pick up.
“Channie hyung said the phone is already all set up for you.” Jeongin explains as he and Hyunjin are holding a few bags of skin care.”We’ll just have to charge it when we get home.”
“Any other stores?” Hyunjin asks, moving over to the mall's map directory. “Do you want to get some makeup?”
“No, I don’t like to wear makeup much.” She looks around. “Is there like a homegoods store or something so I can get stuff for my room?”
“Yeah, it’s on the other side of the mall.” Jeongin points on the map to show them. “How about you guys head over there and I’ll go take these bags to the car and bring it around in front of that store so it’d be easier to load it up.”
“Sounds good.” Hyunjin hands him the few bags he has before taking the omega’s hand leading her to the store. “What were you thinking for your room?”
“Just wanting to pick out some decor, and curtains, maybe a rug.” She starts to walk through the store. “Could you help me paint an accent wall?”
“Of course, we can stop by the hardware store in the town and grab paint.” He follows her to the curtains first. “What color were you thinking?”
“Purple…? Pink…? I’m not sure yet.” She looks through the curtains specifically stopping at the blackout curtains. “I wouldn’t mind having an artist's eye though on deciding what would go the best.”
“I can definitely help with that.” He starts to browse the curtains. “Is there a certain color of curtains and a rug you’re wanting?”
“I was thinking grey for the curtains.” She pulls a set of light grey curtains before handing them to him. “And I’m wanting a big fluffy white rug.” 
“We’re gonna need a cart for that then. I’ll go get one and I’ll meet you at the rugs?”
“Yeah.” She nods and watches him walk away before heading towards the rugs and start browsing. 
She finds a few fluffy rugs as she feels them to decide which one she wants as she waits for Hyunjin and Jeongin to come back. 
“Hey there little omega.” A deep voice is heard as a tall alpha comes up behind her. “Where’s your alpha at little one?” He places a hand on her hip causing her to tense up.
“He-he’ll be back soon.” Y/n stutters unsure what’s about to happen. 
He turns her around, still keeping her in place as he inspects her neck. “No bites? Meaning you’re unclaimed.”
“I-I don’t want any trouble.” She swallows hard, hoping for Jeongin or Hyunjin to be back soon, as she has flashbacks to how her grandfather blocked her path, not allowing her to leave. “P-please walk away.” 
“Why would I do that?” He growls, grip tightening on her waist. “You don’t belong to anyone, yet. We can change that right here and now though.”
“I don’t think so.” Jeongin’s growl is heard before he punches the alpha in the jaw. “Stay away from my omega.”
“Your omega?” The man taunts with a chuckle clenching the side of his face. “If she’s yours then why is she unmarked?”
“Innie.” Y/n gasps, her alpha looks ready to kill but she doesn’t get to move as Hyunjin comes up wrapping his arms around her.
“Don’t intervene.” He whispers as he holds her closely to him. “You’ll only get hurt.”
“But…” He turns her away from the scene as security comes to break up the commotion. 
Hyunjin continues to hold her as Jeongin gets questioned by security explaining how the strange alpha was threatening to claim his omega. Luckily with the security footage showing how uncomfortable Y/n is with the man,9 Jeongin is let go and asked not to come back to that mall again.
“I’m sorry.” Y/n softly cries into Hyunjins chest.
“No baby, I’m sorry.” The beta squeezes her. “I shouldn’t have left you alone, I wasn’t thinking. Felix and Jisung, even though they act like it, aren’t actual omegas so it's okay for them to be left alone for a few minutes in a store when we go to grab something. I should have stayed or at least had brought you with me, especially since you’re still unmarked. I’m sorry.”
The omega whimpers into his chest as Jeongin joins them, still angry, saying they should head back home and leads them to the parked car. Hyunjin helps Y/n into the back before taking the keys from the young alpha to drive. 
After a bit of no one talking Y/n looks up at them in the front seats and sighs. “When… when will you guys?”
“When will we, what?” Jeongin grunts, still a bit agitated from the situation and not happy with his beta for leaving her unattended. 
She shrinks back in her seat. “Never mind.” She whimpers and looks out the window watching the terrain go by the closer they get home.
When they pull up, Chan, Minho and Changbin are waiting outside to help bring in all of the bags. When the three of them step out of the car though, the alphas smell the soured scents causing their brains to overthink. 
“What happened?” Chan looks at all of them, Minho quickly goes to Y/n to check her over for injuries. 
“Hyunjin left Y/n alone in a store.” Jeongin glares at the beta. “And an alpha threatened to take her, probably would have if I hadn’t come back when I did.”
“Is that true?” Chan looks at Hyunjin, getting angrier when he nods. “What were you thinking?”
“I’m sorry.” The beta whines. “I wasn’t thinking okay, I forgot that she isn’t able to be left alone for a few minutes like Ji and Lix can.”
“Did you fight the alpha, Innie?” Changbin is looking at Jeongin’s face who nods and the omega now realizes that the stranger must have hit Jeongin back when Hyunjin turned her away.
“Are you okay kitten?” Minho moves her hair behind her ear and cups her cheek.
“Yeah?” She whispers not looking up at the alpha.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” He forces her to look at him and now sees the tears threatening to spill. 
“It’s nothing.” She brushes his hand away. 
Minho sighs and looks at his pack alpha who notices as well before telling Changbin to deal with Hyunjin as he moves to Y/n.
“Baby girl.” He places his hands on both of her cheeks looking down at her. “What did Changbin say rule number three was?”
A tear falls down her cheek. “We don’t keep stuff from each other. If somethings bothering me, talk to you guys.”
“That’s right.” He wipes away her tears. “So please talk to me, what’s wrong? Is it what happened? Did it scare you?”
“It did. It reminded me of how my grandfather blocked my path.” She mumbles. “But it’s not entirely that.”
“What is it then?” 
“The alpha said I was unmarked, that I don’t belong to anyone because of it and threatened to change that.” She mumbles which starts to make Jeongin mad again as Changbin soothes him. “And it makes me wonder when… when will you guys make me yours?”
“You’re already ours, pretty girl.” Changbin reassures her as he holds the youngest alpha.
“Others just think that omegas need to be marked like property or otherwise they're a free for all.” Minho had stayed close by still looking her over to make sure she’s okay. 
“Baby, just because we haven’t bitten you yet doesn’t mean you’re not ours.” Chan coos. 
Y/n bites her lip still holding back tears. “It just feels like I’m not being fully accepted.”
“Oh baby girl.” Chan pulls her into his chest and lets out soothing pheromones. “Please don’t feel that way. I promise we will soon, it’s just something that’s a bit more intimate than you might realize.”
“And you said I have to take you on a date first before I can do that.” Minho gives a cheeky smirk making her pout and playfully pushes him trying to hold back a smile.
Her smile doesn’t last long though as she’s reminded as to what Hyuk had told her on the phone this morning and starts to wonder if he is right. 
Chan and Minho look at each other as their omega’s scent goes from sweetening to sour again during the whole interaction. They can see her brain working overtime and know that they’re gonna need to get to work on claiming her as it seems their words aren’t fully convincing her anymore.
______________________________________________________________
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puppethistoryhive · 1 day ago
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just a girl
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benny week, day four: cheerleader
relationship: betty weir | benny weir/rory keaner, betty weir | benny weir & ethan morgan
rating: teen
word count: 939
summary: Dressing up as a cheerleader and being flirted with by Rory awakens some things in Benny. (transfem benny weir)
read on ao3 or below the cut
Benny wasn't sure what Jane had done to them, but he liked it. He almost felt bad though, because he could tell it was making Ethan somewhat dysphoric. However, Benny actually felt really good. He liked the feeling of the longer hair, and the makeup felt foreign but right somehow. He felt pretty. He must've been pretty too, considering the way Rory bounded up to him and started flirting with him. Benny wasn't gay- he knew he wasn't gay. So why did the way Rory looked at him give him butterflies? He needed to talk to Ethan- tomorrow though. It had been a long day.
It wasn't until they cracked the case that Benny was able to find time to talk to Ethan. By then he had realized he was in a lot deeper than he first anticipated. The additional days of flirting and makeup had really done him in. It also affirmed his feelings about everything that was swirling through his head. Him and Ethan were playing video games in his room when he finally worked up the courage to bring everything up to his best friend.
“Hey Ethan, can I talk to you about something?” Ethan paused the game, and turned his attention to Benny.
“Yeah, B, what's up?”
“You know how we had to pretend to be Betty and Veronica?”
“Yeah…?”
“I sort of… liked it? Like the whole dressing up.”
“Okay, just the dressing up part?”
“I’m not even sure, honestly.”
“That's fine! Do you think maybe you'd want to try out she/her pronouns?”
“Maybe?”
“You don't have to rush into anything! Does being called he/him make you dysphoric?”
“No, I don't think so?”
“That's fine! Is there anything else?”
“I didn't hate when Rory was flirting with me?”
“Wait- what?” Benny just shrugged in response, “ so, not only are you maybe a girl, but you might also be into Rory?”
“Basically,”
“Wow I never thought I'd see the day a girl was into Rory,” that made Benny laugh. It also made his- her heart flutter. Ethan called her a girl, and it felt amazing. They continued their night like usual after that, and that also felt good. It felt normal and right. Someone knew, and the world spun like usual.
Now she just had to figure out how to tell the others. Especially Rory. She wrote him that letter to hopefully stop him from talking about Betty anymore until she figured out what she wanted to do. It was cheesy, but wasn't exactly that far from the truth either. It took her a few more days, but she worked up the courage to leave another note in the vampires locker, this time just telling him to meet her in the gym hallway after school, so they could talk
Betty was sweating bullets as she paced the hallway back and forth. Her mind was swirling with thoughts. What if Rory is upset at her for lying? What if he won't see her as a girl? Will he even want to be her friend? Just when she was starting to think this was a bad idea, she heard the all too familiar voice.
“Benny? What are you doing here? I'm waiting for Betty, so I hope you don't plan on sticking around too long,” She cringed internally at that. She knew she had to get out what she wanted to say before she lost her courage.
“Rory, I'm Betty.” Rory's face morphed into confusion.
“Um no you're not? Betty is blonde. And a girl, duh,”
“No Ror, me and Ethan dressed up as Betty and Veronica to keep an eye on Erica, then to deal with the whole witch cheerleader stuff,”
“I'm so confused. So Betty isn't real?” His voice sounded so vulnerable, and Betty’s heart broke in guilt. She took one step closer to Rory, small and barely noticeable.
“Yes, and no? She wasn't at first. But I think Betty feels more real than Benny at this point. I don't know,” Rory's face was still one of confusion, and a faint glimpse of hurt, “but, I do know that I like you.”
“Wait- what?” Rory's face was still one of disbelief, but the hurt was replaced by hope.
“I didn't know how to tell you, but surprise?”
“You're Betty, but actually- and you like me?”
“Yeah?”
“This is awesome!” Betty felt physically relieved. Rory wasn't upset. She should've known he wouldn't be shitty about this, especially because he knows about Ethan. But it was good to be sure that she was worried for no reason.
“It is?” Rory just looked at her like she was crazy.
“Uh yeah? I mean it's still a little weird that you're actually Betty, but not in a bad way! Wait, does this mean I can take you out on a date?” Betty shouldn't have been surprised by his bluntness, but it made her flustered regardless
“Yeah, it does,” she smiled at him. He returned the soft look.
“We can have dinner at my place, so you can dress however you want without others around, if that's what you'd prefer,” he looked uncharacteristically shy. Betty took his hand. She was sure vampires couldn't blush, but she wasn't sure if something like that has ever stopped him.
“That sounds perfect, Ror.”
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daisy-mori · 1 year ago
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i feel like i had been putting so much effort into my roller derby skills only for now to be told repeatedly im not even on the same level as people who started after me and it being constantly rubbed in my face when we’re grouping up like ‘oh to pair you up with someone on the same level, you stay with (person who just started)
i don’t even feel like going anymore, i really feel our coach has something against me, with this and the fact that she stopped giving me rides or talking to me other than mandatory practice instructions... 
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the---hermit · 3 months ago
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You know when you watch movies set in the past or fantasy movies, and when you get the epic pre-battle scenes you inevitably ask yourself why do they need all those drummers and stuff when all those men playing could be given a sword or something and be added to the troops? I am currently visiting a medieval festival and I just heard an exibition of war drums and I feel like I could run a half marathon. The drummers make so much sense.
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bunnihearted · 16 days ago
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˖°🦇ִ ࣪𖤐
#ok .. the appt wasnt as bad as i feared. and the therapist wasnt at all as i had imagined#he was actually one of the more easy ones within the psychiatric dept i've talked to#it was still a bit uncomfortable for me to open up esp when i got certain feelings...#but... what actually was good is that when i did that he pushed just a tiny bit and remarked on it and asked my further#(which works bc he also accepted when i just didnt know what to say or didnt wanna talk abt smth)#it took 2hrs omg.. but felt like 20 minutes.#i could notice that he actually is specialized on personality disorders lol. like he actually got what i said etc (which most havent)#so yeah. not as bad as i feared at all. he was quite good to talk with. this appt didnt feel at all as bad as i thought it would#but ofc he couldnt decide immediately if they'll take me on as a patient. bc they gotta have the required team meeting and discuss etc etc#he did say that he thinks my personality disorder is definitely causing me issues and that even if they dont take me on as a patient i#still need help. so that's just nice to hear#even if bc of cutbacks and such i know that the chances of me actually getting help are slim :(#IF i do tho i wont squander it#anyway it's just nice now bc i was SO tense and stressed and scared but it went absolutely fine#and now i'll just wait until they get back to me. and i dont have any expectations or hopes that they'll accept me as a patient.#so if they dont - as i expected. if they do - nice surprise and actually a real chance for me to get help#for today i feel ok about it phew#i cant help but be anxious abt how at the end he asked me for feedback akskskskks and i was like umm i dunno...#bc it's difficult for me to talk abt a person to that person T-T#but really i wanted to saythat i thought it was really good that he sometimes asked me if he understood smth i said correctly#and explained how he interpreted smth i said. & when i was like oh idk how to explain it idk if this makes sense. he would tell me if he#didnt understand exactly but know where i was going w it etc etc. which honestly most of the therapists i've talked to have not done that#so ughh now im like.. he's one of the few ones who does that i want him to know thats a good thing why didnt i say this T-T noooooo. regret.#oh well....
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napping-sapphic · 1 year ago
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God i’m thinking about how easily and unknowingly strangers can grant you salvation like i found it in how my old classmate told me once that i was a kind person and it was the first time i’d ever believed it
in how a coworker once said that i always seem so happy and have a nice smile and i cried about it when i got home since i’d always been told i seem too serious or mean
in how someone once told me i was good at comforting them when i’d always thought i was bad at it
Just god they’re out there somewhere and i barely remember what they looked like and we’ll never cross paths again but they changed me so deeply, they’re out there but they’ll never know how often i revisit those memories and think of myself even just a little more kindly they’re out there and i don’t know them but they’re the most important people in the world to me somehow
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ninjigma · 2 years ago
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QuinFox Week Part 2/7 - First / Next
Day 2: Dance With Me + First Date Track: 'Paint It Black' - Wednesday Addams (Spotify / YouTube)
"This is not part of the plan."
Quinlan grinned. He couldn't help it, the situation and the way Fox was trying so desperately to figure out how to dance without admitting anything was too amusing.
"Maybe, but every good plan is adaptable."
"And what exactly are we adapting for?"
Quinlan's hand gently pressed against Fox's side, encouraging him to begin a movement that would carry them left. Learning quickly, Fox followed, his feet starting to fall more naturally as they continued.
"Here, you have to follow my feet, not mimic them," Quinlan slowed to a half pace, still fast enough to blend in with the fast stringed music but slow enough that Fox would have a chance.
He was unable to see any blush or real expression past the mask Fox wore, but he could sense the slight tension of the Commander trying to do as directed. That and the lack of a quip showed that this was something Fox did not want to dwell on long, though Quinlan noted he followed the instructions perfectly.
"Overheard something was being unveiled tonight and I have to stay and find out," Quinlan offered in a rushed voice, trying not to get lost in watching Fox move. "You head out, can wait at the safehouse if you want, but this is Jedi related, so you don't need to be involved and one of us needs to make sure that information gets back."
The way Fox tilted his head forward and looked up through thick lashes was filled with fire. In short, he was not pleased at all.
"The mission-"
"Doesn't include putting you at risk for something unplanned and unrelated." Quinlan shrugged, kept a smirk plastered in place as he spoke the official line with ease. A way to keep Fox out of things.
"This room is filled with more Separatists than our intel informed us, and they already seem suspicious. Plus, we are already running out of time until they notice the information is gone. You can't stay. We have what we came for, we should leave."
Fox was correct, but Quinlan knew it couldn't be so. He had to get his hands on what he overheard. Failing that he would destroy it. Kept in a museum or not, he knew the artifact would be too dangerous to just leave behind, especially in separatist and therefore Sith territory.
"Fox," he sighed, face becoming uncharacteristically soft. "I am sure I'll be fine. You can wait in the safe house then and I will be quick. For now just enjoy being my date, yeah?"
Fox was quiet.
Quinlan watched him sway, curving and moving easily in sync with him now. He was assessing things, weighing options that Quinlan knew from experience he should not say a word about until Fox was done, which also meant until Fox had made his decision and wouldn't be swayed anyhow. It spoke of the man's determination and wit, and Quinlan thought highly of him for it, respecting how the clone choose to do things. And more privately he thought it matched the Fox inspired outfit he had chosen quite handsomely.
"Just so you know, before you rush off to be an idiot," Fox's voice was even, measured, didn't truly allow Quinlan a read besides Fox was potentially agreeing to do what Quinlan said. "This is a lousy first date."
Quinlan snickered and spun them a bit faster with the tempo, eyes subconsciously watching for any new signs of his quarry. "What do you mean first? What about all the times I bring you food or travel with you?"
"You sneak me food," Fox corrected, nose now turned upward. It was the much more familiar dance between them, and Quinlan was privately relieved for it and this meant Fox had fully relented, he would be safe soon. "And I only travel with you for missions. This is the first time you have deviated so far it is a whole different direction, and have specifically used the word date. So I am telling you, a double heist in a museum's masquerade gala full of separatists that would love to see us both dead is not a good first date. Horrible even."
Quinlan swayed closer, pressed more fully into Fox like he had his own gravitational pull. "Come on Foxie, we both know the only issue you really have with this as a date is because I called it one."
Commander Fox, the brilliant, cunning, mischievous man he was, didn't offer any response. But Quinlan noted with pride the slightest upturn to his lips.
@foxquinweek
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13eyond13 · 15 days ago
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wait your beatles era is over? it was so fun eventhough i follow for death note content it just made my day seeing you enjoying something so much! :]
Awww no well it's not OVER over, as in I still really like them and will retain everything I learned about them during the last 3 or 4 months and still follow a lil handful of my fave Beatles blogs on here. It's just over as in I don't feel the need to fill my dash with literally hundreds of Beatles blogs or finish reading every giant biographer's tome I started reading about them anymore or wtv. And obvs you can always chat to me about them and still see me occasionally post about them! But thank you for saying so anyways haha
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onrainynights · 28 days ago
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I'm about to be so annoying btw
#by this I mean I'm going to talk about my job until it's no longer new and exciting sorry guys#but this is literally the first good thing to happen to me in MONTHS#shit has been so bad like SO unbelievably bad for a WHILE#like. not only do I have a job (!!!!!!) but it actually seems like a really good fit for me and what I need#like. the hours aren't horrible and in fact I could stand to have more of them#the pay isn't *good* but it's not the worst I've ever made for sure#the work environment though... that's where it gets me. because I get to just be one guy in a store interacting with customers and literally#nobody else#for most of my workday#like. no small talk except for with customers. no learning about my coworker's stupid life. no trying to get along with someone for the sake#of work#like. I just get to be alone and sell shit and when it's slow I get to organize shit like. hello??? yes please#I don't have to be micromanaged because I'm literally alone. like. god I'm so excited#plus it's similar to work I've done before. so. yay#I do really like the coworker I've met before though. he's very sedate and has excellent customer service.#which I know bc every time my mom shops there and he's the one working he's very genial and nice#definitely good at his job. but I wouldn't be surprised if he was getting high in the back or something lmao#he's just so calm ive never met a dude more chill like. he seems like the exact opposite of anxious#and then my other coworker I haven't met yet but I'm sure she's fine.#I do like my boss though! and she's only my boss until they get another manager bc she's actually the manager at another location too#she's just filling in here while they look for another manager#but I like her she was extremely up-front and no-nonsense and plainly stated exactly what she needs from an employer#employee*#which is honestly such a relief like my last job I felt like I had no clue what people wanted from me and it was horrible#but this seems better so far#also I know for a fact I beat out two other people who had interviews the same day and I was so much the preferred choice#that she didn't even wait to decide or anything#she called me like a few hours after my interview ended like. that 3rd person left and she immediately hired me instead lol#which I have to admit does feel good after so long feeling inadequate and unhirable.#I am more hirable than at least two people. so THERE
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valewritessss · 2 months ago
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I feel like I came out of the womb with raging anxiety
#never been fully relaxed a day in my life#literally had a panic attack at age 6-7(?)#I’ve been super self aware for as long as I can remember#the tension in my body is my natural state#I’ve BEEN imagining every worst case scenario since I could form thoughts#7th-8ish grade is where it got worse#had panic attacks like four times a week#and then heart palpitations started and holy shit I was googling symtoms and that would make it worse#was convinced I would get a heart attack#having a headache is part of my daily routine#then I got a crush on a guy and with it came body dysmorphia#couldn’t look people in the eye from how ugly I felt(still struggle with this one but we got this💪🏼💪🏼)#now I mostly just cry#like I deadass get stressed and overwhelmed and just cry#depression came next and I was honestly not surprised#and it tampered my anxiety a bit but I’d honestly rather feel stressed than feel so numb#yeah I wouldn’t recommend#so basically I lie awake feeling aware of my own heartbeat or of my body#oh and I can’t forget the physical pain that anxiety caused me#muscle aches literally convinced me there was something wrong with me#went to the doctor numerous times bc I NEEDED to be diagnosed with something or I would go crazy and instead got told to see a therapist#and the therapist basically told me everything I had already figured out myself but at least I can talk to someone#tw anxiety#tw depression#tw body dysmorphia#anxiety#mentions of depression#and I’m only a teenager so should I be worried about what happens in the next few years? bc this already sounds like a lot to me#this was supposed to be a funny little post but nvm I guess?? don’t worry about me I’m good though many good things in my life#teenager
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spaghett-onaplate · 7 months ago
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honestly i'm so sad for this guy i met on the train earlier i wish we'd had more time to talk. and i hope he's able to figure it all out
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shiningnightstars · 7 months ago
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Simp
NUH UH YOURE WRONG!!!!!!!
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eggmeralda · 9 months ago
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okay but I am genuinely so unwell about numbers and dates and ages and time and years etc. so I'm blaming all my bad luck on the number 23
#got so paranoid about it that i didn't talk to anyone for the last few weeks and i haven't applied for a job and i'm honestly not doing#anything until i'm safely 24#idk what 24's gonna be like but it's got a 4 in it so that's a good sign#but then again 14 had a 4 in it and that was a terrible age#but tbf it was a 4 + a 10 which is like. my fav number and my least fav number. so the year just malfunctioned#first 6 months good second 6 months bad#so 24 can fit two 10s but they're not as obvious. but it's a multiple of 4 so i trust it a bit more#4 x 6. idk my feelings on 6 but it's never really done anything too bad to me so yeah. 24 is the safe zone#i blame everything on the number 23 and also my friend's awful ex girlfriend#OKAY SO LIKE i was reading coronation street youtube comments the other day#and people were talking about how characters like terry duckworth and mike baldwin were kind of prats before but then they#had some significantly bad experience and after that they became Absolute prats#like basically what caused their villain origin stories#and i was like oh my god am i gonna turn out like them?? is my friend's ex girlfriend responsible for my villain arc??#and i have felt myself becoming more negative and unhappy and cynical and bitter over the past few months#and i was like fuckkkkkk no i can't enter my mike baldwin terry duckworth era#bc before whenever a remotely bad thing happened i would just disappear and go back to telling myself there is nothing good with the world#so like for every job i never got and for every time i put something in the group chat and no one replied and every time i made something#and no one cared about it i would just sink deeper into some hole of hatred at the world#i mean. the rsd. like I'd still react to stuff in that way when i was younger and happier but at least back then I'd also#wave at cool clouds and smile at people in public and be like ''fuck i woke up too early and now i Have to take a photo of the sunrise''#but now i don't do any of that I'm just some bitter cynical bitch who hates everything#so yeah. my 2024 resolution was to reclaim the whimsy i lost at the end of 2022. and so far it's not really going well but at least I'm not#23 anymore#ramble
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sugarsugarmp3 · 8 months ago
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i turn 21 on monday and i just know im not going to enjoy this weekend at all...
#BIG vent in tags#the last two months have been honestly some of the worst of my life i am always always thinking about this rly shitty thing happened#and now i have to go home for my birthday weekend which i know i should be happy about and it is a good thing#but i just really dont want to go and i feel like a bad person for feeling that way#im doing better than someone i know and i need to go home and be there for them#i wanted to be in my apartment and relax with my friends#ive had 4 midterms this week and i am just exhausted with everything#and its not like it being my brithday will make my weekend bc thats literally impossible#and i feel so shitty about feeling this way bc im not the one who needs help right now and my bday shouldnt even be a priority in my family#bc we have bigger problems rn#but i still wish it was better. plus today sucked#i just am always awkward with people and i wish i was better at social stuff and ive felt rly lonely bc i only hve a few good friends#and trying to make friends is so impossible bc it seems like i keep doing the wrong thing and not being able to vibe with people#rn im just thankful for labs bc having constant lab partners are the only social interactions i get in almost all my classes#this girls would sit next to me in genetics and we would talk but i hvent seen them in a few weeks and i dont know their names#and im not great with faces so i cant even go up to them if i see them and i wouldnt even know what to say if i did#i see the same people in my classes but im sure they think im weird bc ive never talked with them but i always accidentally make eye contac#and one girl in 4/5 of my classes i sometimes talk with but i dont even know if she likes me and i acciendetnally made eye contact with her#while waiting for a lecture to start but then made no attemot to talk to her bc i thought itd be awkward and she probably thought i was#ignoring her#its just this week. its been so so shitty i dont know how to change thus
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