#it was funny at first but. the more and more he said it the more it annoyed me
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help-itrappedmyself · 3 days ago
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Dead on Main short part 2
This was not supposed to be this long. It just kept getting longer, just kept going. I found a cut-off point eventually, but there may actually be a part 3 to what was supposed to be a very short little piece. Whoops. (part 1)
Jason never had the time to be concerned about his words when he was young. Neither did anyone else around him. His dad couldn’t be bothered with anything to do with him, and Jason would have been surprised if Willis actually knew what his words were. His mother was more confused by them then anything else, and even then that was only in her rarer sober moments.
Then Jason moved in with Bruce. Dick wasn’t around much when he lived in the Manor. He had just started tolerating him when Jason had died. Dick probably knew what the words were, but they had never discussed it with each other, and Jason couldn’t begin to guess what his opinion was on them back then. 
Bruce used to entertain his fantasies of trying to think up different scenarios his words could be said in, both of them trying to make the funniest good outcome. It became a game they played when bored on stakeouts, obviously keeping the contents of the words private while playing. To be fair, there were a lot of good and funny scenarios. But they lived in Gotham, and Jason had experienced enough of the world, even at that young age, that he understood the likeliness of a bad scenario.
And then he died. And he didn’t think about his words for a very long time. Too busy training and plotting. Busy coming back to Gotham, enacting his plans and building a criminal empire. He barely remembered them himself until he was back in Gotham, operating as the Red Hood, with a trail of bodies behind him.
Assassin training, heads in a duffel bag, counts of arson, and leader of a gang, Jason was not the same kid he used to be. There were few scenarios in which his words could be said that he couldn’t come to understand. And he was at a point in his life where he could find room for a soulmate again. He was settled, secure as the anti-hero of Crime Alley, tenuous agreement with the Bats and all. He had even been by the Manor to have tea with Alfred. 
Arkham breakouts were old hat to everyone in Gotham. Citizens bunkering down, and Bats readying themselves to round up whoever made it out this time. However, this was the first Arkham breakout since his plan with Bruce and the Joker failed. The first since his agreement with the Bats to use non-lethal means. When Jason heard that it was the Joker that had broken out, he planned to kill him, truce be damned.
The Bats could probably deduce that, it was too soon into the truce for any real change to have been made. And this was the Joker. So now it was a race to see who could get to him first. 
Luckily (in this instance), Jason’s base is much closer to Arkham than the Bats. So while they are all stuck driving in from the better parts of town, Jason is already chasing the Joker down alleys. 
Joker is laughing, practically skipping away as if this is a game, and Jason almost loses him as he turns a corner he didn’t see. Jason can hear the Joker laughing, starting to speak. Probably to taunt him again. Then the sound cuts off with a choke and a thud.
Jason turns the corner to see Joker laid out flat, nose bleeding and neck at a funny ankle. A choked breath escapes him, and he looks around to see a man leaning against the alley wall.
The man’s hands are shaking, breaths choppy, and there's a bit of blood on his right hand.
Jason takes a deep breath, which causes the man to look at him out of the corner of his eye. Jason takes in the scene again. And then again, hardly daring to hope even with the evidence in front of him. 
“Is he dead?” Jason asks softly. The man turns to face him, and Jason takes a glove off and slowly, hesitantly, checks the Joker’s pulse.
“Look, in my defense…” The man trails off, looking to the heavens for a moment. “I really fucking hate clowns.” 
Jason, hope fully settled in as the Joker remains still and lifeless on the ground, pulse non-existent against his fingertips, almost laughs. Then his brain does a record scratch. Rewind. Replays the words ‘Look, in my defense’ over again, head shooting up to look at the man who just killed the Joker. 
Jason takes his other glove off, standing. He takes a step towards the man, pushing up his sleeve. The man seems nervous at his advance, watching him warily until Jason uncovers the words on his arm. The cover falls to the ground behind him as he takes another step forward. 
The man’s eyes light up in realization, and he also rushes to push up his sleeve. One more step forward and they are right in front of each other. Arms held up, brushing together as they show each other their marks.
Left forearms pressed together in the space in front of them, one reading ‘Is he dead?’ and the other “Look, in my defense.’. 
The man laughs and Jason takes in the sound of it, the happiness in his eyes as he looks up at him. Jason slowly reaches up to remove his helmet, domino still on underneath it, and lets it fall to the alley floor as well.
“You’re amazing.” Jason breaths out, hand reaching up to cup the stranger’s, his soulmate’s cheek. “You have no idea what you’ve just done for me.”
“Little bit of manslaughter.” He laughs. “Didn’t think it would be received this well.”
Jason smiles in response. “I would worship you for this, if you’d let me. I will never stop thanking you.” 
“Oh.” The man gasps, breath hitching. Jason, one hand still on his cheek, thumb stroking underneath his eye, places his other hand on the man’s waist and backs him up to the alley wall. Deliberately slowly, watching the man as he takes a deep breath, licks his lips, and lets himself be moved.
“Tell me your name and I’ll start right now.” Jason whispers.
“Danny.” The word is breathy and low, only heard due to Jason’s close proximity. 
“Danny.” Jason repeats his name like an anthem and a prayer. Prepared to give his life for this man already. And then kisses him, pressing his lips to his softly, reverently. Wanting to hold this moment forever.
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goldfades · 1 day ago
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TROUBLE ─── RAFE CAMERON
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request for blurb night! : "ev, hear me out—reader is sarah’s best friend who used to babysit wheezie. she's always thought rafe was just some spoiled rich kid until one night he helps her out of a dangerous situation, and she see a different side of him"
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The sound of cicadas swells in the sticky summer air as you maneuver your car into the Camerons’ circular driveway, gravel crunching beneath the tires. The house stands before you, grand and overbearing, like something pulled straight from a Southern Gothic novel. Even after all these years, it still has a way of making you feel out of place, like you’re trespassing on a life far removed from your own.
You killed the engine and take a deep breath, your hands lingering on the steering wheel. Coming here used to feel second nature—a daily part of your routine back when you were just Sarah’s friend who needed extra cash and Wheezie was a chatty eight-year-old who never seemed to run out of energy.
Now, it feels complicated. It’s not like you’re unwelcome here—Rose is always polite in her distant, Stepford kind of way, and Wheezie practically lights up whenever she sees you. Sarah treats you like family, but there’s always been one Cameron who makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
Rafe.
Spoiled, sharp-tongued, entitled Rafe, whose condescending smirk had been a permanent fixture of your teenage years. The golden boy with a black hole of a temper, a trust fund, and an ego that stretched for miles. You’d never understood him, and frankly, you’d never wanted to. He was a hurricane you learned to avoid at all costs, never lingering too long in his orbit.
But life has a funny way of pulling you into places you swore you’d never go.
You grab your bag from the passenger seat and step out into the muggy heat, your sandals crunching against the gravel. Somewhere inside the house, you hear the faint echo of laughter—Wheezie, probably, shouting at Sarah over a card game or some other nonsense. The sound makes you smile despite yourself.
You weren’t always someone the Camerons—or anyone from Figure Eight, for that matter—gave the time of day. Growing up, you were just another Pogue, another kid from the Cut with hand-me-down clothes and a chip on your shoulder. The people from Sarah’s world weren’t interested in you back then. Why would they be? You had nothing they wanted—no yacht, no country club membership, no sprawling waterfront property. You didn’t mind much. You had your own circle, your own rhythm, and you learned to brush off the condescending stares whenever you ventured into their territory.
But everything changed when your dad’s business took off. What started as a small, bare-bones construction company turned into one of the most in-demand firms in the Outer Banks almost overnight. Suddenly, the same people who used to look through you like you were invisible started remembering your name. Invitations to parties you’d never have been considered for started showing up in your mailbox. They weren’t just tolerating you—they wanted you there.
Sarah was one of the first to genuinely befriend you during that whirlwind of change. She wasn’t like the others, who only smiled at you because their parents said it was polite or because they wanted a favor from your dad. She liked you for you—your sarcasm, your groundedness, your tendency to keep it real in a place where everyone else seemed to be faking something. And through Sarah, you met Wheezie.
Wheezie was eight at the time, still caught between childhood and whatever it is that happens when you grow up as a Cameron. She adored you from the start, trailing behind you whenever you came over like a little shadow. You didn’t mind. She was funny, curious, and refreshingly unfiltered—a lot more like the kids from the Cut than anyone wanted to admit.
When Rose offhandedly mentioned they needed someone to look after Wheezie while she was busy managing the house (or hosting one of her endless charity luncheons), Sarah volunteered you without hesitation. “She’s perfect,” Sarah had said with that trademark confidence of hers, as though your schedule had already been cleared.
To your surprise, it worked out. Wheezie loved you, probably because you didn’t treat her like a chore or talk down to her like so many others did. You indulged her weird little interests, let her ramble on about books and whatever new drama she overheard in the house. You made her laugh.
And if the Camerons noticed you weren’t exactly one of their own, they didn’t seem to mind much anymore. After all, in their world, proximity to success was enough to erase just about anything.
Even after a couple years had passed, it’s a little funny how much has stayed the same. Every time you pull into the Camerons’ driveway, you still get the same sinking feeling, like you’re stepping onto foreign soil without a passport. Except now, it’s become a routine. Cameron game nights.
It started as an extension of the babysitting gig—a casual invite from Sarah, insisting you stay for dinner one night after watching Wheezie. Dinner turned into a board game that Sarah claimed was “super quick,” which turned into three hours of family chaos. It was ridiculous, overly competitive, and a little awkward with Rose monitoring everything like a referee, but Wheezie loved having you there, and Sarah was relentless in making sure you felt included.
At some point, it just became normal. Even after Wheezie grew out of needing a babysitter, the tradition stuck. Every week or two, Sarah would text you about game night, and somehow, you always said yes.
“You’re like an honorary Cameron,” Sarah had joked once, and you’d laughed because the idea of that felt ridiculous. But there were moments, like now, when you almost believed her.
Wheezie’s voice echoes from the living room the second you step through the door. “You’re late!”
“I’m literally on time,” you call back, closing the door behind you. The smell of freshly baked something wafts through the air, probably cookies Wheezie convinced Rose to make under the guise of a family bonding activity.
“Technically, Rafe’s late,” Sarah says, popping her head around the corner, already grinning. “You’re just cutting it close. Come on, Wheezie’s already plotting your downfall.”
You laugh and follow her into the living room, where the familiar chaos is already brewing. Wheezie’s sprawled across the couch, a pile of board game pieces spread out in front of her, while Ward sits in his chair, sipping a scotch like it’s all beneath him but still keeping a hawk’s eye on the rules. Rose flits between the kitchen and the table, not-so-casually reminding everyone to keep the snacks on coasters.
And then there’s Rafe.
He’s leaning back in one of the armchairs, his legs stretched out like he owns the place—which, technically, he does. A half-smirk tugs at his lips as he spins a stray game token between his fingers. He barely glances at you when you walk in, but you catch the faintest flicker of recognition.
It’s been years, but Rafe is still Rafe: cocky, restless, and way too pretty for his own good. He’s toned down some of the more obvious brattiness since the early days, but the edge is still there, sharp enough to cut if you’re not careful.
And, as always, you do your best to steer clear.
The quiet hum of the boutique fades behind you as you pull the glass door shut, twisting the key to lock it. The click echoes in the empty street, a sharp sound against the stillness of downtown this late at night. The once-bustling sidewalks are deserted now, the streetlights casting uneven pools of orange on the pavement. Most of the shops had closed hours ago, their dark windows reflecting the faint shimmer of the moon.
You adjust the strap of your bag over your shoulder and glance at your phone. 11:43 p.m. Later than you’d intended. It wasn’t your shift to close, but your coworker had begged you to cover for her last minute, and you couldn’t say no. It’s fine, you tell yourself. You’ve done this before. Downtown isn’t that bad, and your car is parked just a block away. Still, there’s something unnerving about the silence, the way the shadows stretch a little too far when you’re alone.
Reaching your car—a trusty but aging sedan that you inherited from your dad—you fumble with the keys before sliding into the driver’s seat. The interior smells faintly of the vanilla air freshener you keep on the rearview mirror, a comforting contrast to the chilly night air outside. You toss your bag onto the passenger seat, then grip the steering wheel as you turn the key in the ignition.
Nothing.
You pause, frowning. That’s… odd. Your car’s old, sure, but it’s never been completely unresponsive. You twist the key again, harder this time, willing it to come to life.
Still nothing.
A low groan escapes your throat as you lean back against the seat. This can’t be happening. Not tonight. Not here.
You pull out your phone, half-tempted to call Sarah or even your dad, but you hesitate. Sarah’s probably asleep by now, and your dad’s a good thirty minutes away—not to mention, he’d definitely give you a lecture about not keeping up with the car’s maintenance. Sighing, you pop the hood and step out into the cool night air, shivering slightly as a gust of wind cuts through your jacket.
The street around you is unnervingly quiet. A stray cat darts across the road, its shadow flickering under the streetlights. You glance around, trying to shake the uneasy feeling creeping up your spine. It’s just your imagination, you tell yourself. No one’s here.
With a deep breath, you lift the hood and stare down at the engine like it might magically fix itself. You know a grand total of nothing about cars, but you wiggle a few cables anyway, hoping for a miracle. When you try the ignition again, the result is the same—silence, save for the faint hum of a streetlamp overhead.
Panic starts to creep in now, slow and steady. Your phone’s battery is hovering at 10%, and downtown—normally picturesque and charming by day—feels like a completely different place at night. The empty windows of the closed shops look less quaint and more sinister, their dark interiors like gaping mouths.
You lean back against the car, tapping your fingers against the metal as you weigh your options. Call someone? Walk to the gas station a few blocks down? Stay here and wait it out? None of them sound appealing, especially with the growing sensation that you’re being watched. You tell yourself it’s just nerves, but your skin prickles anyway, and you can’t help but glance over your shoulder every few seconds.
“Great,” you mutter under your breath. “This is how horror movies start.”
You huff out a shaky breath and decide to at least look under the hood. Not that you know what you’re doing, but it’s better than standing here like a sitting duck. Popping the latch, you step out into the cool night air again, every sound amplified in the unsettling quiet. Your shoes scrape against the pavement as you walk to the front of the car, lifting the hood and leaning over the engine.
The faint metallic scent of oil hits your nose as you peer into the mess of cables and parts. It all looks like a foreign language to you, but you fiddle with a few wires anyway, hoping for some kind of miracle.
That’s when you hear it—footsteps.
At first, you think maybe it’s nothing, just your imagination running wild, but then you hear them again, deliberate and getting closer. Your stomach clenches, and you straighten up, instinctively glancing over your shoulder.
Two figures are walking toward you from the opposite side of the street, their strides slow and unhurried. The dim streetlights reveal faces you vaguely recognize—Kooks, no doubt, probably from the same parties Sarah used to drag you to back in high school. Their names escape you, but the looks on their faces don’t—grins too wide, eyes too sharp, the kind of predatory energy that sets every nerve in your body on edge.
“Car trouble?” the taller one calls out, his voice carrying an edge of amusement as they stop a few feet away.
You force a tight smile, trying to keep your voice steady. “Yeah, I’ve got it handled. Thanks.”
The shorter one, stockier and wearing a backward baseball cap, steps closer, tilting his head like he doesn’t believe you. “Doesn’t look like it,” he says. His tone is casual, but the way his eyes flick over you makes your skin crawl.
“I’m fine,” you insist, taking a small step back toward the car. Your heart is pounding now, a sick thrum in your chest, but you keep your expression as neutral as possible.
“Hey, we’re just trying to help,” the taller one says, holding up his hands like he’s harmless, but there’s something almost mocking in his tone. “No need to be rude.”
The stocky one smirks, moving to your other side, effectively boxing you in against the car. “Yeah, we’re just being friendly.”
The air feels heavy, oppressive, and the space between you and them feels like it’s shrinking by the second. You can feel the tension in their postures, the way they’re both leaning in slightly, testing how far they can push.
Your throat tightens as you glance around, desperate for someone, anyone to come walking down the street. But there’s no one—just you and these two strangers who clearly don’t care that you’re uncomfortable.
“Look,” you say, trying to sound firm but calm, “I appreciate it, but I’m good. You don’t need to stick around.”
The taller one laughs, a low, unpleasant sound that makes your stomach churn. “Aw, come on. You’re out here all alone. What kind of gentlemen would we be if we just left you like this?”
Your fingers tighten around the edge of the hood, your mind racing for a way out. You consider making a run for it, but they’re too close now, their presence suffocating.
Just as the stockier one steps even closer, his grin widening, a voice cuts through the tension, sharp and commanding.
“What’s going on here?”
The relief is instant and overwhelming, like a lifeline being thrown to you in a raging sea. You turn toward the sound, and there he is—Rafe Cameron, standing just a few feet away, his hands shoved casually into his pockets but his posture rigid, his eyes hard as they lock onto the two guys.
The taller one straightens up immediately, his smirk faltering. “Rafe,” he says, a weak attempt at sounding friendly.
Rafe doesn’t respond, his gaze shifting to you for the briefest moment before snapping back to them. “Didn’t realize we were having a party,” he says, his voice calm but laced with something dangerous. “You two invited?”
The stockier guy takes a step back, muttering something under his breath. “We were just leaving,” he says quickly, his bravado crumbling under Rafe’s glare.
“Yeah, you are,” Rafe says, his tone leaving no room for argument.
The two exchange uneasy glances before slinking away, their footsteps echoing down the street until they disappear around the corner.
For a moment, all you can hear is the pounding of your heartbeat and the faint hum of Rafe’s truck idling in the distance.
“You good?” Rafe asks, his voice softer now but still steady, grounding.
You nod, your throat dry as you manage to croak out, “Yeah… I am now.”
Rafe watches the shadows where the two guys disappeared, his expression unreadable, his jaw tight. You half expect him to say something cutting, maybe some sarcastic remark about how you can’t take care of yourself, but when he finally looks at you, there’s no smugness. Only something... softer, almost hesitant.
“You’re lucky I saw you,” he says, his voice low. “That could’ve gone bad. Fast.”
You nod, your throat still tight from the tension of the moment. He’s right. You don’t even want to think about how that could’ve ended if he hadn’t shown up. “Thanks,” you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper.
Rafe’s brow furrows like he’s surprised you said it. He leans back slightly, glancing at the car hood still propped open. “What’s wrong with this thing?”
“Won’t start,” you reply, gesturing vaguely at the engine. “Not that I’d know what to look for.”
He huffs a quiet laugh, the corner of his mouth quirking up just slightly. “Yeah, I wouldn’t expect you to.” His tone lacks the usual edge, though—it’s not a dig, just a statement.
For a moment, the two of you just stand there in the quiet. The night air feels less suffocating now, the earlier tension replaced by a strange calm. Despite everything you know—or think you know—about Rafe Cameron, there’s something about his presence right now that makes you feel… safe. It’s unsettling, in its own way.
“You should be more careful,” Rafe says, breaking the silence. His gaze is steady, not mocking or judgmental, just serious. “Downtown this late? Alone? That’s asking for trouble.”
You bristle slightly, your instinct to defend yourself flaring up. “I didn’t exactly plan for my car to break down.”
He raises an eyebrow, but instead of snapping back, he just nods. “Fair.”
The quiet stretches between you again, but this time, it’s not uncomfortable. Rafe steps closer, peering under the hood with a practiced air, and you’re struck by how uncharacteristically gentle he seems. No biting remarks, no smug superiority—just calm focus.
He taps a cable lightly, muttering something under his breath, then steps back, closing the hood with a decisive thud. “Battery’s probably dead,” he says, glancing at you. “You need a jump.”
You nod, your nerves finally starting to settle. “I guess I’ll call someone.”
“Don’t bother,” he says, already walking toward his truck. “I’ve got cables.”
You blink, caught off guard by his matter-of-fact tone. He’s not offering—he’s telling you he’s going to help. And for some reason, you don’t argue.
A few minutes later, Rafe has his truck pulled up nose-to-nose with your car, the cables stretched taut between them. He works in silence, his movements efficient, and you watch from the sidelines, unsure of what to do with yourself.
“You should get in,” he says, nodding toward the driver’s seat.
You do as he says, sliding back into the familiar confines of your car. The moment feels oddly intimate—just the two of you on this empty street, the hum of his truck filling the air.
“Try it now,” he calls out, stepping back.
You turn the key, but instead of the engine sputtering to life, it lets out a defeated whine and falls silent again. You try one more time, your chest tightening with frustration and dread, but it’s no use. The car isn’t going anywhere tonight.
You let your forehead drop against the steering wheel with a groan. Of course. Just your luck.
Rafe’s voice cuts through the night air, low and steady. “It’s not gonna work. Battery’s dead for real.”
You sit up, pressing your lips together as he leans against the open driver’s side door, his arms crossed. His expression is unreadable, somewhere between amusement and mild concern.
“Great,” you mutter. “So, what now? I call a tow truck and wait here till dawn?”
Rafe tilts his head, his gaze flicking over you briefly before landing on your car again. “Or,” he says, “I could just drive you home.”
The offer catches you off guard, and you hesitate, your immediate instinct to say no. Riding home with Rafe Cameron? That’s about as far outside your comfort zone as you can imagine.
But then you glance down at your nearly dead phone, the empty street around you, and the sheer impossibility of getting a tow out here tonight. What other choice do you have?
“Seriously?” you ask, your voice tinged with disbelief.
Rafe shrugs, the motion easy, like it’s no big deal. “You got a better plan?”
You don’t.
“Fine,” you say finally, grabbing your bag from the passenger seat and climbing out of the car. The night air feels colder now, pressing against your skin as you walk toward his truck.
Rafe opens the passenger door for you without a word, and you slide in, the faint scent of leather and cologne filling the cab. It’s clean but lived-in—practical, not flashy, which surprises you.
He climbs in on the driver’s side, pulling the door shut and starting the engine with a smooth turn of the key. The sound is steady, reliable, and for a moment, you envy how effortlessly everything in his life seems to work.
The first few minutes of the drive are quiet, the only sound the low hum of the truck and the occasional creak of the suspension as it rolls over uneven pavement. You glance out the window, watching the darkened storefronts blur past, trying to ignore the strange tension sitting between you.
“You gonna sit there and sulk the whole way?” Rafe asks, his voice breaking the silence.
“I’m not sulking,” you shoot back, turning to glare at him.
He smirks, his eyes still on the road. “Sure you’re not.”
You huff, crossing your arms over your chest. “I’m just… processing the fact that my car officially hates me. And that I had to be rescued by you of all people.”
His smirk softens into something closer to a smile, and for once, it doesn’t look mocking. “Yeah, well, it’s your lucky night, I guess.”
You roll your eyes but don’t respond, and the quiet settles over the truck again. It’s not entirely uncomfortable this time—just strange, like you’re both trying to figure out how to navigate this unexpected moment.
After a while, Rafe glances over at you, his expression more serious now. “You really shouldn’t be out here alone like that,” he says quietly.
You shift in your seat, caught off guard by the sudden sincerity in his tone. “I didn’t exactly plan for my car to break down,” you mumble.
“Still,” he says, his grip tightening slightly on the steering wheel. “Things could’ve gone bad. You know that, right?”
You do. The memory of those guys, their leering smiles and the way they cornered you, is still fresh in your mind. A shiver runs through you, and you glance at Rafe, his profile sharp in the dim light from the dashboard.
“Thanks,” you say, softer this time. “For stepping in.”
His jaw tenses for a moment before he nods. “Yeah. Don’t mention it.”
The rest of the drive passes in a blur of streetlights and quiet conversation. When he finally pulls up outside your house, you feel an odd sense of disappointment, like the night is ending too soon.
Rafe cuts the engine and looks over at you, his expression unreadable again. “You good?”
You nod, your fingers curling around the strap of your bag. “Yeah. Thanks for the ride.”
He hesitates, his eyes searching yours for a moment, and you swear you see something uncharacteristically soft in his gaze. “Anytime,” he says, his voice low.
You climb out of the truck, turning back as you reach your front door. Rafe is still there, leaning slightly out of the window, watching you with an intensity that sends a strange flutter through your chest.
“Night, Rafe,” you call out, your voice steadier than you feel.
He nods once, his smirk returning, but there’s a warmth to it now that wasn’t there before. “Night.”
You watch as he drives off, the tail lights disappearing down the street, and you can’t shake the feeling that tonight, something shifted. Something you didn’t see coming.
The living room is alive with laughter and the sugary smell of freshly microwaved popcorn. Wheezie is sprawled across the couch, her legs tangled in a blanket as she debates the finer points of the movie you’ve just paused, while Sarah snorts beside her, throwing a handful of popcorn in her sister’s direction.
You sit cross-legged on the floor, sipping from your drink and soaking in the warmth of the moment. It feels good to let your guard down like this—to laugh and tease and forget for a little while.
“Okay, but how does she not realize he’s the bad guy?” Wheezie demands, gesturing dramatically at the screen.
“Because she’s blinded by love,” Sarah says, grinning. “Or maybe she’s just as dumb as you are.”
“Excuse me?” Wheezie gasps, clutching her chest in mock offense.
You laugh, shaking your head. “I don’t know. I feel like if someone was being that obvious about being evil, I’d notice.”
“Would you, though?” Sarah teases, raising an eyebrow.
“Hey!” you protest, chucking a stray pillow at her.
The playful banter continues, the night stretching on in a haze of easy conversation and snack-fueled chaos. You’re halfway through arguing over which movie to watch next when the sound of the front door opening pulls your attention.
You glance toward the entryway just as Rafe steps inside, his hair slightly mussed, his keys jingling in his hand. He pauses when he sees you all, his expression flickering from mild surprise to something unreadable.
“What’s this?” he asks, his voice carrying that familiar mix of curiosity and amusement. “A girls’ night?”
“Yeah,” Sarah says, throwing a popcorn kernel at him. “And you’re not invited.”
“Tragic,” Rafe deadpans, stepping fully into the room. His eyes flick to you for a split second, and your stomach does an unexpected flip.
You tell yourself it’s nothing. Just residual nerves from the other night. Nothing to do with the way his presence seems to fill the space or the way his gaze lingers just long enough to make your cheeks heat.
He smirks, leaning against the doorframe. “Don’t worry, I’m not staying.”
“Good,” Sarah says. “Bye.”
He ignores her, pushing off the frame and heading toward the kitchen instead.
“I’m getting more popcorn,” you announce quickly, needing a reason to escape the sudden heat prickling at your skin. You grab the empty bowl and dart toward the kitchen before anyone can respond.
The kitchen is cooler, quieter, and you exhale a sigh of relief as you cross to the counter. You’re halfway through scooping kernels into a bowl when you hear the low hum of Rafe’s voice behind you.
“Didn’t know you were here tonight.”
You jump slightly, glancing over your shoulder to find him leaning casually against the counter, his arms crossed and that infuriating smirk playing on his lips.
“Yeah, well,” you say, turning back to the task at hand, “I’m kind of a regular around here.”
“I’ve noticed,” he says, his tone light but edged with something that makes your stomach flutter.
You keep your focus on the popcorn, refusing to let him get to you. “Do you always sneak up on people like that?”
“Only when they’re interesting,” he shoots back smoothly.
You roll your eyes, but the flush creeping up your neck betrays you. “Interesting? That’s a stretch.”
Rafe chuckles, the sound low and warm. “I don’t think so.”
His voice is closer now, and you glance up to find him standing beside you, his gaze fixed on your face. You freeze, your fingers tightening slightly around the bowl as you try to think of something—anything—to say.
“Relax,” he says, his lips quirking up into a grin. “You look like you’re about to run out of here.”
“I’m not,” you insist, though your voice comes out shakier than you’d like.
He leans in slightly, his eyes locking onto yours. “Good,” he murmurs. “Because I was starting to think I might scare you.”
“You don’t scare me,” you say quickly, your voice a touch too defensive.
“Hmm.” His smirk deepens, and he leans back, giving you just enough space to breathe again. “If you say so.”
With that, he grabs a water bottle from the fridge and steps away, throwing one last glance over his shoulder as he heads toward the stairs.
“Goodnight, trouble,” he calls out, his tone teasing but soft enough to send a shiver down your spine.
You stand there for a moment, staring after him, your heart racing and your face burning.
By the time you return to the living room with the popcorn, Wheezie and Sarah are too busy laughing at some inside joke to notice how flustered you are. You settle back into your spot on the floor, your mind still replaying the way Rafe’s voice sounded when he called you trouble.
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galaxitix · 3 days ago
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Ehhh... I'm wasn't even sure what to write...(⁠─⁠.⁠─⁠|⁠|⁠)
I accidentally set my friend up with a guy without realizing till I become the third wheel on a recent outing. (I don't mind being a third wheel but I'm more shocked that they were dating, nothing official yet. she nicknamed him shoe stepper, name self-explanatory. annoyed her by stepping on her shoes and pretending nothing happened in a joking way). My friend thought I set them up on purpose, calling me a secret shipper, I didn't confirm or deny that statement, cause it was funny to me, didn't even knew they were dating till that moment. Fyi, he knew I was coming along and had no problem, so no i didn't crash their date(even though I thought it was just a regular outing between friends). Happy for her all the same, kinda wish love was that easy for me, it's only been 3 months since we started school T-T.
Once had a guy get mad at me for 'leading him on' despite making myself clear from the start that I wasn't going to get start dating a guy who happened to walk up to me randomly one day, but I wouldn't mind being friends to get to know each other (I didn't knew the guy and he was like 5 or so years older than me who just graduated highschool at the time). I also re-stated this over text that I only wanted to be friends. Couple weeks of texting then he randomly asked how I 'felt' about him. Long story short, I 'friendzoned' him then he got all mad at me for being fake and 'like other girls', leaning him on and I reminded him that I told him before I only wanted to be friends from the start, send him proof of my text that specifically stated that. He ghosted me after that text and I couldn't care less, blocked him then and there. He was just playing nice guy to eat in my pants anyways. How I know? 1. this guy's first question to me was if I still have my 'V card' (should have blocked him then but curiosity killed the cat I suppose. ) 2. His status that he post said a lot about him, it's disgusted me but I wasn't really surprised 😑 (I'm a girl that hardly checked people's status on Whatsapp, hence why it took me longer to see his true nature)
Oh and I have freckles on the back of my hands, inherited from my father.
(realize I just ended up rambling but oh well ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)
Tags...hmm @donnietheterrapin @littlemissartemisia @bubblegum-flavored-timemachine and anyone else who want to do a lore drop
it's so weird to me that everyone on this website is a human person outside of their weird internet niche so rb this with a random bit of your lore
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felassan · 2 days ago
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David Gaider on Alistair, under a cut for length:
"Ah, Alistair. Depending on who you ask, he's the adorable woobie with the biggest heart or the irritating, over-used man-child. Yes, he is indeed all of those things. Good characters have flaws to go with their virtues. Ugly spots. That is literally their humanity. He was a bit of a bear to write, at the outset. James (Ohlen, the first creative director on DAO) had this idea he needed to be a grizzled Warden veteran - older, distrusting. Everyone hated him instantly. I call this the Carth Onasi Problem, and suggested to James that maybe I try something else. My observation says that the characters who are generally liked the most are the supportive ones. Enthusiastic. Funny? Sometimes, sure, but that's *not* required. I need to digress. See, at the time James had this (regrettable) period where he believed everything could be derived from a formula. He even sold this idea to the founders, Ray and Greg. Google 'BioWare formula'. Anyway, how this relates is because James thought the DAO cast needed a Minsc: a comedy character who would become super popular and, ideally, the icon of DA. "Isn't that Alistair?" you ask. "Arguable," I say, "but no." James had me to up a huge list of 'comedic archetypes' and I wrote some possible dialogue for each one. Then he had the team vote. The winning archetype? The Buffoon - like Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin. James was pleased. I was not. "The problem," I said, "is I don't find the Buffoon funny." 😅"
""But you're a professional." "Sure, I *can* write him... but comedy isn't science. I need to find him funny. If I write him, the only comedy I'll mine is where he makes fun of himself." James took that on board and then passed the character onto someone else. The result? Oghren. I rest my case. So back to the supportive character: that was my thought for a new Alistair. It was a special case, after all - the DAO PC was thrust into a terrible situation. They needed someone who had their back. A bud. A *likeable* bud. I was watching Buffy at the time, and my thoughts drifted towards Xander. Now, I know Joss Whedon is persona non grata these days, but this was 2006, OK? I was watching Buffy and thought, "man, Xander is such a wasted character" and considered how to fix him. Then I realized this might work for Alistair. Plus, I wanted to see if I could replicate the Whedon vocal patter. That was the new Alistair: a more useful and likeable yet equally dorky version of Xander. We had very strict rules in DA about language: no modern speech styles, colloquialisms, any words that came into use in our world after 1900 got severe side eye... but Alistair? Alistair got a blanket pass. Was it great that the lead writer's leading man got to break the rules? I guess not, but it's my opinion that you can break those kinds of rules - selectively, in small doses. Too much and you break the illusion. And it worked. Alistair was an instant hit. Not just with the team, but with the fans."
"Confession time? Yes, I knew Goldanna wasn't meant to be Alistair's mother. But neither was Fiona, originally. I think fans caught wind of some revisionism at work, and OK it's true. I had a more Arthurian idea for his birth but I stopped liking it... yet not soon enough to go back and make edits. Should I have just left it be, left Goldanna as his mother? Maybe. It was one of those writer things I just couldn't let go of and I probably could have used someone to sit me down and go "Gaider, please. Just stop." I still like Fiona, and where I took it. But I probably shouldn't have gone there. Casting Alistair was SUCH a chore. He required a weird mix of devilish charm, but with enough sincerity and adorkableness it didn't come off as smarmy. Every audition went full smarm... until Steve Valentine up and appeared out of nowhere. In the midst of a batch of audition files, there he was. We brought Steve in "just to try out", and he pulled it off. Even the "frog time" line, which (seriously) nobody else could. And when he got to the romantic lines, Steve's voice turned into pure butter without, again, sliding into "oh, he's slightly creepy". Both Caroline and I were sold. And he was so gloriously easy to write. It's a well I'd probably return to... a bit too often, maybe? Maric, then Anders in Awakening, and then Alistair kept popping up in future games and the comics because, yes, he was pretty much the breakout comedy character of DA. Which still makes me happy. 😁 CORRECTION: Goldanna was someone Alistair thought was his *sister*, and her mother his mother. Look, it was almost twenty years ago, OK? 😅 --- I actually had a whole scene written in DAI where Fiona tells him, but the requirements were so specific for them both to be in Skyhold and it seemed like it'd be relevant only to a small small sub-section of fans (and confusing to everyone else) so it was dropped. Rightfully so, I guess."
[source thread]
User: "The Buffy vibes were strong in DAO and I was very happy with that at the time. What I loved about DAO was the mix of dark themes entwined with bits of levity. That's how I like my angst. Dark, broody with a side of ha-has and y'all delivered in DAO for sure." David Gaider: "That's a me thing. I like going dark - really dark - and then pairing it with light, comedic moments. It provides peaks and valleys in the tone, and prevents either from becoming overwhelming. Hey if it worked for Shakespeare (alas, poor Yorrick), it can work for DA, right? 😉" [source]
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demonic0angel · 1 day ago
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OWO, you take prompts? How about this?
Danny was born a premature and with a heart defect. The Fenton's try to make a clone so they can get his heart transplanted without fear of organ rejection. But they end up making a full on baby and don't have it in them to kill another version of their son just to save their original boy. Danny ends up pulling through and the clone gets filed as a twin that no one noticed was still in when Maddie was in the hospital. So Maddie "had him at home" and went back so he could be medically examined. The new parents feel ashamed of what they initially were going to do and give the child to a cousin who couldn't conceive.
Tim Drake doesn't know he's adopted until a DNA test reveals that the 'Meta' running around Gotham is his 'twin brother'. And the babies he has, that he does babysitting gigs with, are his twin's 'children'.
(I don’t exactly take prompts, but I don’t mind if you send them. Also, I’m going to assume that the twin’s “children” are Dan and Dani, since that seems to be what people prefer.)
“… are you serious?” Tim asked through the phone.
“Yep,” Dick said, sounding like a mixture of amusement and concern, “How do you feel about it?”
Tim thought about it and then responded, “I guess it makes sense why my parents neglected me so much, since I’m adopted.”
“Awww, baby bird…”
“I’m fine, Dick,” Tim said. He picked Dante and set him on a baby chair. Said child stared at him with electric blue eyes, scowling with his pudgy cheeks as if he wanted to tear Tim apart with his nonexistent teeth. Tim rubbed his chubby cheek with a finger before moving away, still holding the phone to his ear as he picked up the other baby.
Dick continued, “Yeah… also, Bruce says that he’s sorry that he checked your blood without telling you.”
Tim snorted, “No, he didn’t.” Bruce was never sorry for that kind of stuff.
Dick sighed. “Yeah, I lied. Sorry. But he did look guilty! He didn’t want to tell you at first, but Jason convinced him so I’m the one telling you right now.”
Tim hummed, picking up little Ella, who was stubbornly holding onto a small cardboard box. Tim let her hold it and placed her onto the baby chair next to her brother, who immediately reached out for her. It was kinda funny seeing how clingy he was compared to his sister.
“We have more information too. We tracked down the new meta and we’ve been looking into his routes. We suspect that he’s living around here, in Bristol,” Dick said. “We think he’s living in an apartment, at XXX on XXXX street, possibly with a roommate named Jazz.”
Tim paused, suddenly hyper aware of the fact that he was in the same building, babysitting a bunch of kids on the same street, who also lived with another woman named Jazz. “Uhh. What else?”
“We think he lives on the third floor and possibly also works at a pizza delivery place? Or maybe a fast food restaurant? He’s been flying back and forth between two places besides the apartment.”
Tim began to sweat. “Uh… anything else?”
“There’s a high chance that his name is Danny Nightingale, and Jasmine Nightingale is in on the fact that he’s a meta.”
Fuck.
Tim looked at his niece and nephew with a new light, eyes wide. Ella beamed at him, giggling while Dante just glared.
Welp. At least Bruce would be happy to be a grandfather now. Even if it was to Tim’s secret meta twin brother.
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supernatural-hunter1 · 2 days ago
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Usopp comes up with one of his fake illnesses excuse,
Y/n: “Oh no, it’s not one of those that Usopp got is it, I think it’s something else?” You said the news very serious tone.
Y/n: “Chopper can I please borrow your stethoscope for a second?” You asked.
Chopper hands you the stethoscope you put it on and used it on Usopp trying to listen for his heartbeat, and he gets even more freaked out.
Y/n: “yep, it’s exactly what I think it is.”
Usopp: “wha… what is it?” He asked worriedly,
Y/n: “I think you are coming down with a case of ‘siccadis?’ ”
*the rest of the crew is trying their best to hold back their laughs*
Usopp: “siccadis? What does that mean?”
Y/n: “it mean that, I’m sick of your bullshit.”
Zoro is the first one to burst out into laughter and the rest of the crew also let out their laughter that they could no longer contain anymore.
Sanji: “damn, Usopp she really got you good on that one.”
Luffy: “what really got me was when Zoro was the one who started laughing first.”
Zoro: “I’m sorry I couldn’t resist that last part really got me I just couldn’t help it.”
Usopp also started to chuckle.
Usopp: “okay I admit it, that was pretty clever of you y/n very funny.”

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demonpiratehuntress · 2 days ago
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clowns
taglist - @kabloswrld
OPLA!Zoro x F!Reader
summary - clowns are terrifying, and your first encounter with one leaves you traumatised. lucky for you, you have a big strong swordsman as a boyfriend.
warnings - CLOWNS (yes they should ALWAYS be a warning and yes Buggy scares me), you and Zoro are/were both pirate hunters
a/n - i count myself lucky i don't have circuses where i live, because if i ever see a clown i will run the other way
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Not only did you not expect to join a pirate crew, but you far from thought your first encounter as a "crew" would be facing your worst nightmare.
The minute you saw the bright red nose and funny make-up, you stiffened. Your eyes went wide and you became unresponsive, like you couldn't hear them talking or feel Zoro's subtle protective touches. You were too focused on the clown in front of you, terrified to your core.
"What's wrong with her?" Buggy noticed your stare, and waved his hand in front of your face. "Can she hear me?"
Zoro growled and put himself between you and the clown pirate, "Eyes on me, Binky." He knew that wasn't the clown's name, but Luffy's mistake would serve him well in getting Buggy's attention off you.
Sure enough, the clown scowled and looked at him, "Buggy! It's not that hard to remember!"
You were relieved that the clown was no longer focusing on you, but just the sight of him was rattling you to your core. While he was distracted, you took it as your opportunity to turn and run.
Now let it be said that you do not run easily from anything. You and Zoro were pirate hunters, or had been until you'd been roped into this, and you had faced some nasty, dangerous threats. You were hardened, and almost nothing shook you.
Except clowns.
Funny how the one thing you steered clear of found you first the moment you aligned yourself with others.
Before you could get far, some of his circus freaks grabbed you and brought you back. The clown was still talking about himself, but chuckled when his goons brought you back into the tent.
"What's wrong, pirate hunter?" He sneered. "Scared?"
"Hey!" Luffy beat Zoro this time, "Leave her alone."
And things went downhill from there.
You were, for some reason, separated from the group. So was Luffy, but that's because Buggy was interrogating him. Nami and Zoro had been escorted somewhere else, leaving you on your own in another side room, panicking and growing more and more nauseous. To make matters worse, Luffy started screaming from wherever he was.
A while later, the clown walked into your room.
Your eyes went wide, and you struggled against the rope holding you to the wooden beam.
"I'm surprised," he spoke, "You have a reputation that made even some of my men nervous. And yet...you can't even look me in the eye." He stopped right in front of you, "Why's that?"
You tried your best to look away, turning your head sideways and finding something else to focus on. You couldn't speak, and you were trembling. Nothing had ever shaken you like this, ever. But clowns for some reason...you couldn't handle them.
"Is it the nose?" He asked mockingly, although he sounded a bit annoyed at the mention of his large appendage again. He forced you to look at him, gripping your chin in his gloved hands. "Hmm?"
"Leave me alone," you managed to get out through gritted teeth.
"Your captain isn't being very cooperative," he ignored your request, "So I have a lot of time to spend here with you."
"Why me?" You tried to glare, but you knew you looked scared. Because you were.
"Fear is a good motivator for telling the truth," he finally let go of your chin, walking around you and sizing you up. "Your friends will be tough to convince, but you...you don't like clowns, right? I'll leave you alone if you tell me where the map is."
"Do your worst," you breathed out, a little shakily, but you were determined not to cave. Not for this idiot.
He growled, and in an instant he was in front of you again, holding a knife to your throat while putting his frightening face right up in yours, "Tell me where it is!"
The sound you let out was something between a squeak and a yelp, fear once again overcoming your body at the clown's proximity. It wasn't so much the knife pressed against your jugular, it was the fact that your worst fear was inches away from you. You clenched your fists, trying to control your shaking, but it didn't work. And he was amused by your terror.
"I'm going to check on your captain," he stepped back, "If he doesn't give me an answer, I'm coming right back here and I promise I'll leave a scar." Then he left, and you could breathe again.
But that's when the tears came.
You didn't really sob, you just stayed there crying silently. Your body trembled, mind numb with fear and shock. His face was burned into your mind, and shutting your eyes only made your panic worse.
That's how Zoro found you, tied up and shaking with glassy eyes.
"What did he do to you?" The swordsman asked when he cut you loose, grabbing and squeezing your arms gently. "(Name), what did he do?"
You just shook your head, unable to speak, and sought his comfort by burying your face in his neck and crying even more. The more you shook, the angrier he got. But he held you for as long as you needed, knowing Nami would be okay with finding Luffy on her own. You were Zoro's priority.
You finally let go a few minutes later, wiping your face, "Let's go help the others."
He nodded, guiding you out the room.
The trauma stuck with you for a few days after the three of you escaped him, evident one night when you woke up sweating and shaking. Zoro was a deep sleeper, but he had a sixth sense reserved just for you, so he was woken up by your outburst.
Zoro wasn't good with words, but he was definitely good at comforting you through actions. He never had to say anything, he just wrapped his strong arms around you and you were slowly soothed. You just had to lean against his chest, enveloped in his arms, and you would slowly calm down. His gentle kisses atop your head also helped, his affection never failing to get your mind off whatever was worrying you.
In Syrup Village, you spotted a poster of the clown pirate and started hyperventilating. Zoro immediately turned you away from it and cupped your cheeks in his hands, making you look at him.
"Hey, focus on me," he told you, "Just me. I'm here. You're fine." He used a gentle, soft tone, one reserved just for you.
You tried to breathe, eyes locked on his face, concentrating on his warm brown ones that held so much concern for you. The eyes that always comforted you with just a look. Slowly your breathing evened out, and Zoro embraced you, this time not caring that you were in public.
"You're okay."
You nodded slowly, taking a deep breath, "Thanks, Zoro."
He just nodded, giving you one last forehead kiss, "If we ever see him again, I'm going to cut him up and throw him in the ocean."
You managed a weak smile, grateful to have such a protective boyfriend. His actions always proved how devoted he was, even if they were a little violent. You wouldn't have it any other way.
"You do that."
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maybanksbaby · 1 day ago
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summary: the unbelievable has happened, the pogues had rafe powerless and locked down. and some take advantage of it more than others....
warnings: season 4, part 2 spoilers! nothing more i think
⋆౨ৎ ˚⟡˖ ࣪
The cold, dimly lit storage room on the ship was a prison, its walls closing in on Rafe with each rocking motion as the waves tossed the boat. Bound and bruised on the hard metal floor, he couldn’t move beyond a few inches at a time, and each shift sent sharp pain through his wrists, where the rope bit into his skin. His left eye throbbed with a deep bruise, courtesy of JJ’s punch, making it almost painful to see straight. He was seething, helpless and furious, but his anger was the only thing keeping him steady as the floor swayed under him.
Then, suddenly, the door creaked open. Rafe’s gaze snapped up, his scowl fierce and unyielding—until his eyes landed on you. You slipped inside with a plate of food balanced in your hand, the outline of your figure backlit by the light outside, casting a shadow that made his pulse quicken. There was something in your expression—a dangerous, amused glint—that told him you weren’t here for a quiet little peace offering. You were here to enjoy every second of his predicament.
You didn’t say anything at first. You just closed the door behind you and leaned casually against the wall, letting him feel the intensity of your gaze on him. Rafe hated it. Hated the way you were looking down at him, barely hiding the smirk tugging at the corner of your lips. It made him feel…vulnerable. Weak. And the fact that he couldn’t just shove you away or do anything about it gnawed at him like a raw wound.
“Rafe,” you said finally, your voice low and almost syrupy with that taunting sweetness he’d come to know all too well. “How’s the floor? Comfortable enough?”
“Go to hell,” he growled, his voice rough, cutting through the stale air. His bound hands flexed against the rope, the fibers digging into his wrists as he fought against his own helplessness. The last thing he wanted was to be seen like this—especially by you.
You tilted your head, seemingly unaffected by his anger. Instead, you just walked further in, placing the plate on a crate, just out of his reach. He could smell the food—warm bread, some kind of seafood. His stomach twisted, betraying him with a growl. A knowing smile flickered across your face as you heard it, and Rafe’s jaw tightened.
“Oh, I thought you might be hungry,” you said innocently, your voice dripping with mock sincerity. “But I wasn’t sure if you’d earned this meal yet. After all…you haven’t exactly been on your best behavior.”
Rafe glared at you, his blue eyes smoldering with frustration as you leaned against the crate, studying him. He hated this—hated being tied up and forced to look up at you, unable to do a damn thing to stop the smug look on your face. His jaw clenched tighter, his muscles taut with anger, but the ropes binding him were unforgiving, and every slight movement only reminded him of how powerless he was.
“Do you get some sort of sick pleasure out of this?” he muttered, his voice filled with venom, though the anger in his words was tinged with something else. Something darker and more desperate.
“Oh, I wouldn’t say it’s sick pleasure,” you replied, taking a slow step closer to him. “But it is nice seeing you…like this.”
Your words lingered in the air, taunting him, filling the silence between you with a tension that felt almost unbearable. You were so close now that he could see every detail of your expression, from the slight curve of your lips to the glint of mischief in your eyes. And as much as he wanted to look away, he couldn’t. Your presence was suffocating, maddening—and he was starting to feel something he hadn’t expected. Something he couldn’t quite define.
Rafe tried to shift away, but the ropes held him firmly in place, and every movement only served to deepen the ache in his bruised face. “You think this is funny?” he bit out, his voice shaking with barely restrained rage. “You think this makes you…better than me?”
“Oh, I know it does,” you said, your voice smooth as silk, unruffled by his anger. You leaned down, your face drawing closer to his, until he could feel the warmth of your breath brushing against his skin. “I think you’re cute when you’re all tied up and frustrated. You really don’t like being in this position, do you?”
His breath hitched, and he cursed himself for the slip. He knew you could see the frustration in his eyes, the raw, unfiltered rage simmering just beneath the surface, mixed with something he was fighting hard to keep at bay. You were enjoying every second of this, and he could tell that you knew exactly how much it was getting to him.
Your fingers lifted to his cheek, tracing lightly over the bruise that was forming around his eye. He flinched, the pain sharp and immediate, but he refused to let himself show weakness. Not to you. He held his glare, but his heart was pounding now, a steady, relentless beat that matched the rhythm of the ship’s swaying.
“What’s wrong, Rafe?” you whispered, your voice soft but laced with mocking. “Does it hurt?”
He wanted to tell you to go to hell, to spit some cutting retort that would put you back in your place. But as you leaned in, closer than before, he found himself frozen. His lips parted, as if to say something, but no words came out. You were too close, your presence too overwhelming, and suddenly, he was acutely aware of how trapped he really was.
Without warning, you closed the distance, pressing your lips against his in a slow, deliberate kiss that was nothing like he expected. It wasn’t soft or gentle; it was firm, taunting, filled with a confidence that left him reeling. Rafe’s body tensed, every muscle taut as you kissed him, the ropes binding his hands the only thing keeping him from reaching up to pull you closer—or push you away. He wasn’t sure which he wanted more.
The kiss deepened, your lips moving against his with a sensual intensity that sent a shiver down his spine. He tried to lean in, desperate for more, but the ropes held him in place, the tension in his body building to a fever pitch. His chest heaved with each ragged breath, his heart pounding harder with every second that passed.
Just as he started to lose himself in the kiss, just as he was beginning to forget his frustration, you pulled back. His eyes shot open, and he stared at you, his gaze filled with a mixture of anger, desperation, and something he couldn’t quite name. His lips parted, as if to say something, but you only smiled, a slow, wicked smile that told him you knew exactly what you were doing.
“What?” he muttered, his voice low, rough, as he struggled to regain his composure. “You’re just going to…leave?”
Your smile widened, and you leaned in close, your lips brushing against his ear. “Maybe next time, Rafe, you’ll remember that you’re not the one in control here,” you whispered, your voice a soft, dangerous murmur. “And until then…try not to miss me too much.”
With that, you straightened, stepping back and moving toward the door. Rafe’s eyes followed you, a dark intensity in his gaze as he watched you reach for the handle. His whole body was tense, every muscle coiled with frustration and unfulfilled desire, and he wanted nothing more than to tear through those ropes, to demand that you finish what you’d started.
But you didn’t give him the satisfaction. You just looked over your shoulder one last time, your smile full of mischief. “Enjoy the food, Rafe,” you said, your tone light, almost sweet. “I’m sure you’ll figure out how to eat it. Eventually.”
And then you were gone, the door clicking shut behind you, leaving him alone in the silence, the taste of your kiss lingering on his lips and the ache in his chest sharper than any pain the ropes could cause. He sat there, breathing hard, his hands still bound, his mind racing as he tried to process what had just happened.
The anger was still there, simmering beneath the surface, but there was something else now—something dark and undeniable, something that only made the frustration burn hotter. He didn’t know how long he’d be stuck here, but one thing was certain: when he got out, he would find you.
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rush-the-stars · 13 hours ago
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cw: reader is femme presenting in a skirt. and an actor bc im feeling self-indulgent. otherwise n/a. probs ooc for sae lol he’s maybe a lil too playful. but alas.
***
“your friend is trying to set us up.”
the night is damp and cold—biting enough that your fingers and tips of your ears ache with it as you stand outside this swanky, upscale speakeasy. its smoky and dark and smoldering in there, so the night air is a sharp balm, a rush of clarity.
especially after a drink or two had gone to your head.
you’d been dragged out by friends who mean well but are nosy, and desperately trying to get you to let loose. not focus on work—maybe find someone.
you roll your eyes and suck your teeth.
“she knows i don’t like athletes.”
“yeah, i don’t like actors, either.”
you finally let your gaze fall on itoshi sae; dressed smart in black slacks and some expensive, maroon turtleneck. looks maybe like cashmere, or some other soft, plush fabric that would feel a little too good to run your hands over—
his jacket is leather. rich and dark. it looks warm and supple.
and he is handsome. kind of ridiculously so, with his long lashes and artfully tousled hair. but he’s some friend of a friend they’d also dragged out tonight and he’s hardly said a word, hardly changed his facial expression. he’s not really your type, so you don’t really know what your friend is thinking—
“looks like it’s not meant to be then. too bad for her.” you reply with a shrug. you wrap your arms around yourself, trying to keep out more of the frigid wind as it whispers past.
but then you cock your head, consider him for a moment.
“wait. why don’t you like actors?”
there’s just the slightest, most horrible quirk upwards at the corner of his mouth.
there’s a little skip in the tempo of your heartbeat, too.
you bite back a shiver.
“why don’t you like athletes?” he returns easily. he shoves his hands into his pockets and your gaze flickers to them—big and long and lithe—before they disappear into his slacks.
“they’re cocky and smarmy.” you reply.
“funny. i don’t like actors for the same reason.”
“i’m not smarmy.” you snip.
“no, maybe not smarmy.” sae says, “but you’re cocky.”
“i’m confident.” you correct and you make the mistake of facing him and trying to peer up into his face with this little furrow on your brow. he’s half-lidded as he looks down at you, unbothered, except for the glint in his cold eyes—
“you’re vain.” he replies, and you think he’s trying to bite back a smile. “and spoiled. you’re used to getting what you want.”
you make a sound like a scoff, heat rushing to your face for reasons beyond you. it’s not enough to keep out the chill and when you move your hand to your hip, you have to keep your teeth from chattering to say, “because i do get what i want.”
“see?” he says, and you think it’s the most amused he’s been all night, “spoiled.”
it’s enough to irritate you, enough to make your eyes flash.
“i get what i want because i fight for it.” you snap back and now there’s more bite behind your words, crossing your arms across your chest again, “you don’t last long in this industry if you don’t, mr. fancy soccer player.”
you say soccer player with enough disdain that he laughs a little.
it’s the first time you’ve heard him laugh all night. you can’t help but stamp your foot a little;
“ugh! see, you are smarmy!”
“such a temper.” he sighs, “are you always like this?”
“are you always like this?” you bite back.
“cocky and smarmy?” he asks and this time, he smiles a little more—enough to disarm you. he’s got such a stupidly handsome smile. sly in the corners, bit crooked for all his perfection.
he’s so—
“yes!”
he shrugs. the wind rushes past and your teeth finally chatter and click together as you shiver hard.
and then, with his usual apathy, he says, “we should get you back inside. it’s cold out.”
and now he looks over you, holding your arms around your middle and trying to keep warm, shivering in your tights and little skirt. you hadn’t grabbed your jacket on the way out, thinking you’d just get a moment of air. you hadn’t anticipated him to follow you or—
“i’m fine.” you sniff, “i wanted air.”
there’s a moment of silence, before he suddenly moves. he shrugs off his leather jacket and drops it over your shoulders.
you stare up at him in shock as he fixes it to you—and its still warm from his body heat, enveloping you like a physical touch. it smells like cologne, too; black tea and sandalwood, surprisingly warm, before there’s a little bite of musk. maybe leather, from the jacket.
you try to recover, “why are you giving me this?”
“because you’re cold.” he says dryly, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“what is my friend gonna think when i walk in wearing your jacket?” you ask now, looking up at him through your lashes. he finally lets his hands fall from the lapels of it, standing there in front of you.
“that you asked for my jacket because you were cold.”
“i didn’t ask!” you huff and again, a flicker of a smile darts across his face; there and gone like a shooting star.
“that’s not how i remember it—you asked and pleaded for it because you were just so cold.” he says in that dry way he has. but his eyes are bright, dancing with amusement.
you push him away a little, and you hear what might be a huff of laughter, “i did not! do not go telling people that!”
“—and well, you always get what you want, don’t you?” he asks, “so i had to give you my jacket.”
“i don’t want your jacket!” you snap, even as you hold it around yourself, cling to its warmth.
he shrugs, apathetic again, “i don’t care what she thinks.” and then he says, “don’t stay out here too long.”
“i’ll do what i want.” you sniff, as he starts to turn away, back inside. you fist your hands on the inside of his jacket and pull it tighter to you, trying to drown yourself in the warmth that’s still lingering from him and—
you call out to him before he makes it to the door, “i thought you don’t like actors?”
and he looks over his shoulder, small smile a flash across his face, there and gone so quick you start to doubt you even caught it;
“i don’t.”
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kaivenom · 14 hours ago
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It's always one piece dilfs with a younger spouse and never OP DILFs with an even older spouse (possibly milf)
One Piece Dilfs x MILF!reader
Characters: Mihawk, Doflamingo, Crocodile, Smoker,Shanks.
Masterlist
Dracule Mihawk
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He say he doesn't care about your age and it's mostly true but...
When you get mandatory, badass or just independent strong being, he just melts.
Normal life and normal behavior except that he gets a little submissive around you.
Even if he doesn't show, he is at your feet.
Feet massages, relaxing bathtubes, chatting with wine and reading in slience are ones of your favourites activities together.
He doesn't have the need to be extremely chivalrous but sometimes, when he gets jelaous, he can start carrying you in bridal style, getting flowers, putting his arm on your waist...
You both don't need to be chatty or noisy to express your love, you both are really experienced in subbtle affection.
Donquixote Doflamingo
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A big simp.
At first he saw you as a threat, but like, for just a little amount of time.
Then he started to see you as some type of monument or muse, someone older and worse than him (in his good way).
He started following your steps really close, to the point you thought he was a stalker.
He justified that he was learning from you.
Plot twist, the moment you gave him a kiss and a smile, he never stopped asking for them, and know you are his spouse.
He likes to hoard all your attention and never leave you alone with any other person his age or similar, he gets really jelaous.
The best of everything is yours and you are the only one that can yell at him at public.
The excuse it's that your age and experience gives you the right to question his leadership, but don't worry, he gets payback later.
Sr. Crocodile
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At first he doesn't know if it's cause you are more experienced that him or that you are powerfull and ready to challenge him, but automatically he feels driven to you.
Once he gets the signals right and knows that you feel it too, he would absolutely ask you out.
No shame, he is your sugar daddy, even though you are older.
He is just a simp at your feet (he doesn't show it in public).
He orders the best buffets, hotel rooms, dates, etc.
Only the best for the best.
You always say that you don't mind him spending money on you or not but he never stops giving you his money.
Nobody expects it but you both are really cuddly when you both are alone, sometimes he is even the little spoon (rarely).
Smoker
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You were his superior, so everytime he could he would either melt under your orders/pressence or try to show his worth and question you.
His mind had the "chain of command doesn't allow relationships" mantra really sticked into his head but when he got promoted and didn't saw you that often, he started to realize things.
He went full gentleman mode, to impress you.
He did all the things by manual and finally, you accepted marrying him.
That didn't stop him from being flustered by your pressence and worried of you being ashamed of him on social meetings.
He beomes something like your leash husband, always close and disciplined, following your orders (hoping his crew doesn't find out).
Very manly and anxious, he really really doesn't want to ruin your career. This led to the point where you have to always reassure him.
Akagami Shanks
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He is oblivious, since he doesn't care for a lot of things, he just thought that you were funny and beautiful, that's it.
Then his crew started to make him see his patterns: remembering special things you said, getting you specific things (a sleeping mask, skincare, clothes).
Small things that just demostrate how much he listens to you and how much he gets the details.
So, gifts are a must every day, even if it's just him giving you a plate of food.
He starts to get into skincare and what you both call now "A spa day off", when he isn't the captain and you are just a couple that spends the day eating and resting.
If you have an actual spa near by, then you go there. Most of the time, you both improvise something on the ship and nobody dares to go where you both are.
For Shanks, that are the best moments with you cause he can see you taking care of yourself, you can take care of him and he can take it for himself (especially for his ghost pain on the arm.
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lifegrowsfromashes · 2 days ago
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Scar stares up at the moon, from where he lays down in his bed. Grian’s across from him, muttering into the darkness, laying on top of the covers and tucking his head into his wings.
The air smells like dirt.
He thinks of the past day. Of the shouting. He wonders whether Grian will talk to him tomorrow.
He didn’t mean to lose a life. he never does, but something always happens. Grian knows he’s not as strong as the other hermits, but he still refuses to recognise it, and always expects more from Scar than he’s able to give. It was once they’d gotten to the desert that his face became harder, that something began to set behind his eyes.
He sighs. The perfectly arranged checkerboard of stars stare back at him, silent. Grian’s snoring, but just a little. He wonders if avians usually snore.
Scar breathes in the smell of their dirt house, and wonders whether he’ll be able to make it up to him.
He was joking around, when it happened. The sand was getting into his armour and he felt creaky all over. He’d known it was getting to Grian, but hadn’t realised the extent of his annoyance. Communication was… never a strong point.
They had started getting snappy with each other, at about midday. Scar’s limbs were aching, and he needed to rest, but Grian kept talking about how there were no torches around here and if they stopped now, they’d get eaten alive. And Scar didn’t want to think about that, so he tried to tell a joke, and Grian went all tense and funny, and said, through gritted teeth, ‘you’re seriously making a joke right now?’ and he didn’t have time to see the creeper coming up from behind him.
Something had hardened in Grian’s eyes. The urgency when he told him to run. The enchanted shine of his diamond sword coming out of its hilt.
Scar hadn’t realised. The sand had slowed down his reflexes. Once he turned around to fight, he only heard a hiss, and then- white.
The funny thing about dying here was that you didn’t feel the pain, specifically. It’s more, like, God, this should hurt. But nothing comes. Just a choice, to keep going, or to leave. 
Scar hated the artificiality of it. Death always felt so- unreal. For some players, it was the end of everything, but to him, it was more of a reminder. A taunt. He knew he'd never last long enough to escape its clutches.
When he came back, he felt lighter. Emptier. Something, some intangible thing, had withered his soul, a little. He looked up at where his nametag resided to see it was a sickly yellow. And then, coming over the dune of sand- Grian. Sat there, in the crevice the creeper had made, sorting his belongings into a chest.
Grian’s fists were curled tightly over the lump of gold in his hands. The totem. The totem Grian had told him, over and over, to use in an emergency, to keep by him at all times. The totem Scar had stored in a shulker.
Scar did his best to pick everything up off the floor, and to sort it all out into his inventory, But Grian had such a tight hold on that totem of undying, and when Scar asked for it back, Grian’s eyes began to shine with tears. And then he started shouting. 
It was all the usual things. Scar didn’t react fast enough, Scar couldn’t pull his weight, Grian was always picking up the slack, and why couldn’t he last longer than five minutes? And didn’t he know he’s only got three chances, and he’s already down to two? 
Scar got pretty good at taking it. The thing was, he knew the reason why. the real reason. 
Grian hated watching him die.
But he’d never say that. Instead they were trapped in this loop of Scar messing up, and Grian exploding, and him doing everything, everything he could, to fix it.
Usually, Mumbo would be the one to sort out their differences. Mumbo would tell them somthing to calm him down, something easy, about their explosive personalities. 
Scar wonders where he is, now. After the Warden had appeared, anyone who was able to survive that first attack had ran as far as they could. They hadn’t heard anything for the other Hermits for- well, it had been too long to tell.
Scar turns over to face Grian again. He looks so peaceful when he slept. There's still that fire, though, behind his eyes, the memory of his voice scorching Scar’s ears. But, as Mumbo said, that was how you knew he cared. Scar knew he cared. He just wishes he could show it in a way that was less… aggressive. He feels like the only way he could find out how Grian really felt about something was through fighting. And, God, he's so tired of fighting.
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solidaritygaming-fanblog · 2 days ago
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right. So I'm kinda insane and found another song to talk about in some life series / evo context: Copycat. (Song will be linked at the end of the post!)
So, many people headcanon Jimmy and Grian being brothers- and it makes a lot of sense. They're both dirty brown haired, have dark brown eyes, are British, bird coded, have warring personalities, and actually are associated both with yellow, and then one other primary color- Grian taking red, and Jimmy taking blue. Even their main colorations show a kind of "parallel difference" between them, with recently, Grian being associated with red and purple, and Jimmy with blue and yellow.
Now. Recently Jimmy did some lore of him praying to the Watchers. And back in Evo, Grian was taken into the Watchers ranks- so there is some repeated or rhyming elements in their arcs. However, I raise you this- Jimmy is Grian's "replacement", or basically, a backup for if he defects from the Watchers. That's why he has such a deference to them- its hard coded into him. That's why he's acknowledged them so much recently, because Grian's slowly leaving, and they're beginning to get Jimmy to replace him.
For a long time, those two have had a sibling dyanmic- Grian, the older, stronger, and smarter brother, and Jimmy, the younger, weaker, stupider sibling. Grian basically torments Jimmy for his own amusement, and the Watchers let it happen- if Grian ever defected, they could simply feed Jimmy praise -you're better than Grian ever could have been, hes weak and you're incredibly strong, of course we will listen to you- and he would instantly be completely loyal to them.
The song has a few choice lyrics I'd like to point out:
"We get along just fine!" "I say everything you like to hear..." "It's funny how much I feel like I'm looking in a mirror!"
Say "Hello! What's up with you?" "I'm starting to talk like you do..."
"We've grown apart this time, I can't figure out the reason why." "It's funny how much I'd kinda like to see you cry."
"I've become what you like! I am what you wanted, right? Sacrificed all that I know, I have taught myself to let go!"
In any case, the main motif of the song is losing your identity- and that's exactly what's happening to Jimmy, memories of servers being scrubbed as the Watchers prepare him to take over Grian's position. The whole chorus is Jimmy giving in to the Watchers, and thinking about Grian in anger- he pushed him too far, yes, of course- the perfect way to get back at him, to team up with the eldritch gods Grian hates. Grian said he should be stronger- well now look at him! He's one of the strongest beings alive! He is now what his brother wanted him to be, perfectly made in his image.
Oh, and in case you need further convincing, look at how Grian's wings are usually portrayed. Scarlet macaw- red, blue, and yellow. Now look at Jimmy's wings- nearly always yellow, but in Wild Life, he's become a parrot. His wings are blue and yellow now. I bet he sometimes sees little red feathers and rips them out, desperate to distance himself from Grian- unfortunately, his brother.
Meanwhile, Grian doesn't know what's up with his little brother, and is desperately trying to get him back, to prevent him from making the same bad decisions he did- maybe even losing some of his Watcher powers as Jimmy's power begins to eclipse his own.
Link+ a lil more below the cut. This post is too long already. Whoops
youtube
Okay I can perfectly see in the "Copy that copy cat!" bit in the chorus, different sprites show up with every beat. The first four are of Grian (followed by a short animation of him saying the line) hitting poses, with maybe each sprite having a little refrence to a different season or series they have been in together. And then it swaps to Jimmy, facing towards him, hitting the same poses, with matching refrences. However by the end of the song, Jimmy takes charge, doing the poses first and surrounded by eyes- and Grian, trying (and failing) to match the poses and control the eyes, confused why he's lost his power.
Give my boy Jimmy the power. Grian has tormented him far too long.
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lexxiie · 2 days ago
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Hey!!! I LOVE YOUR FICS AAAA
I was thinking of something funny and cute for jjk where the reader is hit by someone with a curse that turns people into their child selves for a little while, how would the guys act?
When A Curse Turns You Into A Child
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This is like... The cutest idea ever????
Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen
Featuring: Gojo, Geto, Nanami.
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Gojo Satoru
He was actually a bit worried when the curse first hit you, especially since you didn't even remember him... However, now? He's not worried at all, he's actually quite amused.
"Pleaaaaseee" you almost cried to the tall, mean man in front of you. "No. No ice cream for you." He responded with a huge smile on his face, which only made you burst out crying. "Whyyyyy?" You asked him with a face now covered in tears. He actually didn't mean to take it this far, but he was having so much fun with this. You will definitely be mortified when the effects of the curse vanish, and the thought makes him scaringly happy.
"Fine, Fine. But just one, you have to learn that no means no." You didn't seem to care at all about the last part of his sentence since your tears went away immediately, being replaced by a huge smile that almost made his heart melt. He picked you up and headed to the ice cream shop. He never knew you were so spoiled when you were a kid, you never told him. All he could think about was how hard it must have been for your parents to have such a whiny child. But in the depths of his mind, he also wondered if it would be like this if he ever had a child with you, and the idea didn't bother him one bit. It would be... Nice, wouldn't it?
He got you your ice cream and took you back home. You played Mario kart for a little while, he won the first rounds, but you cried every single time, so he was now letting you win. Once the final round was over, he pretended to be sad to see if you felt a little bad, but no. You jumped and laughed and yelled at him that he was a huge looser. What an annoying little monster you were.
Nanami Kento
He is the most stressed he's ever been in his whole life, what is he supposed to do? He knows nothing about children. To be honest, he wishes your parents lived closer so that he could just leave you there and come back once the curse is over.
"I want my mommyyyy" you cried to the stranger in front of you. "I know, I know, she'll be back soon, you don't have to cry." He said as he wiped your tears with a handkerchief. "Let's do something fun while we wait for her." He tried to cheer you up, even as a child, he hated to see you cry. "Like what?" You asked, still sobbing. "Do you like cookies?"
Kento looked at the kitchen and sighed. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen such a mess, but at least you were happy. "Are they ready yet?" You asked, jumping excitedly. "They are." The man said with a subtle smile. He pulled the cookies out of the oven and warned you about the heat.
Once they were cold enough, you both sat down and had a couple, you with a glass of milk, and Kento with a cup of coffee. They had way too many chocolate chips for his liking, but you were the happiest child he'd ever seen while eating them. You rambled to him about how much you hated broccoli and how you wished you could eat cookies everyday, and he realized he wouldn't mind doing this for more than a couple of hours, he might be a family man, after all.
Geto Suguru
Well, weren't you the cutest little thing to ever exist? He was amazed by this, it is definitely the best thing that has happened to him in a while. He was already thinking of how he would tease you when it all ended.
But now, he was way more focused on not pushing the swing too hard. You were having so much fun, but he was so scared you would hit the ground. Yet, you seemed to have no worries or fear, making your biggest effort to move the swing faster. "How about we go to the slide?" Geto asked, tired of preventing the swing from throwing you to the other side of the playground. "But I like it here!" You yelled, visibly annoyed that he stopped pushing you. Geto looked around to try to find something else. "Wouldn't you like to go to the roundabout?"
He didn't often regret things in his life, but he sure was regretting ever suggesting this. He thought you would get tired soon, but no. He had been holding his vomit for about 5 minutes now, but it was already too late, he gave up and turned around to let it all out on the ground. The mothers and kids gave him disgusted looks, but you bursted out laughing, which made him laugh too. It hadn't been such a bad day, after all.
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aurumacadicus · 1 day ago
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I just had a funny idea omg:
"Hey, so, do you have like. Any mutant powers or anything?" Steve asked carefully.
Sam did not turn from the water fountain. "No."
Bucky looked like it took all of his self control not to vibrate into orbit. "So this little friend that's been following us around the park--"
"It's a bird," Sam barked, finally turning around to glare at him. "We're being stalked by a pigeon, Barnes. This isn't funny. It could be controlled by a villain."
"You are being stalked by a pigeon," Bucky corrected gleefully.
"Stop fighting," Steve sighed, watching as the pigeon desperately flapped its wings at the spout to fill a dog bowl. He stepped on the button, and the pigeon greedily flapped under the stream of water. "I don't think it's being controlled by a villain. A villain would make it forget it was thirsty."
Sam and Bucky considered this, watching as the bird gulped a beakful of water one time out of five, as if it was not used to having a beak. "Well now I feel bad," Sam said. It has been following him since he left the VA last night.
Bucky groaned. "This means we have to ask Tony for help, doesn't it?"
Steve shot him a glare. "Why is that bad?"
"He's gonna hyper focus and make a means of communication for Lucky, Alpine, and Liho, I just know it," Bucky sighed miserably.
Sam took off his shirt and knelt down, carefully wrapping it around the panting, soaked pigeon. "Come on, buddy," he said as Steve and Bucky began bickering behind him. "Let's get you some help." Maybe, if he asked Tony without the bickering soldiers, Tony would be more concerned about their new pigeon friend.
--
Remarkably, Tony already had a nice bird setup. "Jarvis used to keep quail," he'd explained with a shrug as he showed them through the old Stark mansion.
The pigeon seemed to appreciate the heaters and bowls of bird seed, although it never seemed to quite get a knack for the water bowls.
Tony let Sam help when it came to putting the communication device together, which he appreciated, because the more he watched the pigeon, the less like a bird it seemed. Or at least, the less like a New York street pigeon, anyway. It didn't gorge itself while it had the chance, and it mostly hobbled around on the ground instead of trying to fly up to one of the perches. That could have been because it was still recovering from exhaustion, but Sam doubted it.
"Et voilá," Tony said as they finished it. "If it's a bird, it'll tell us about fries."
Sam raised an eyebrow at him even as he followed Tony to the bird pen. "You know what birds talk about?"
"I have had enough bags of fries stolen to know," Tony told him primly as he turned the communicator on. "Speak, pigeon."
"Sam my brother accidentally turned me into a bird after we left your office yesterday," the pigeon wailed. "He got scared and ran away and I couldn't keep up with him or open the door to go back into your office I AM A PIGEON WITH PTSD NOW SAM!!!!!"
"Oh my God Jessica," Sam gasped, and Tony clapped a hand over his mouth and turned away, shoulders shaking with the effort not to laugh. "We'll figure this out FUCKING STOP LAUGHING TONY."
"It is kind of funny," Jessica said reluctantly.
"It fucking isn't you're a BIRD, JESSICA!" Sam bellowed.
"Yeah, but it's also the first time I slept through the night without waking up screaming, so," Jessica continued.
"Animal therapy," Tony choked, and then screamed when Sam chased him out of the enclosure.
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gothamite-rambler · 2 days ago
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It's been 8 years since the headphone jack was removed from the iphone
Damian texted quickly to Carrie on his iPhone 16 and then opened Apple Music to look for a song to play she told him to listen to, but when he couldn't find his airpods he sighed.
Damian (bothered): God damn, I lost my dongle and now I have no earbuds.
Tim chuckled, wiping his nose.
Tim: Why do you insist on calling it a dongle?
Damian: It's one of the names, and it's a funny word. I get tired of the wireless earbuds sometimes, though. I hope someday the new iPhone re-adds that hole at the bottom.
Tim: Hole?
Damian (sincere): Yeah, the place to plug in the jack for old-school headphones. I’d rather have that than charge my wireless ones.
Barbara (looking up from her laptop): I'm sorry… old-school headphones?
Dick: And do you mean the headphone jack? There are phones that still have that.
Damian (intrigued): Are they Apple phones? The older models have them, but they're basically obsolete. They removed it ages ago.
Barbara (frustration in her voice): They removed the headphone jack from the iPhone in 2016.
Damian: Oh wow, that's almost a decade, like eight years ago—
Dick spit out his drink, shocked, and covered his mouth as he coughed. Barbara could only muster a whimper at how much time had passed since the last iPhone had a headphone jack.
Tim (amused): Damian, I agree with you. I use Android myself, but they decided to remove the jack from those phones too. Samsung took it out six years ago.
Dick (shocked): SIX!
Damian: I know, right? Time flies. I'm more of an Apple user, but those folding phones are quite an impressive technical feat. Did they have those back in the day?
Damian and Tim jolted as Dick fell to the ground, covering his face in shock.
Dick: Back in the day?!
Tim (chuckling): Dick, the first flip phone came out in the late '90s.
Barbara (weakly): 19—1996… Okay, but we were born in the '90s! We're not that old!
Dick: Damn right!
Tim (messing with them): That means you didn't have a phone for most of that time! When the first phones came out, you guys had to be in your teens, right?
Damian (surprised then apologetic): Damn! Oh, I'm sorry! Just my teacher was born in the 1900s.
Dick (meekly, still on the floor for comfort): Please stop talking. That doesn’t mean we're old!
Tim (crossing his arms, mischievous): You know, Damian, they didn't have phones when you or I were teenagers. A lot of the stuff we have now didn’t exist back then. No streaming, no fancy laptops, they even had typewriters in schools.
Damian chuckled, bemused by this information.
Damian: I heard they lacked a lot of technology, but what did they do for fun then? I feel like those old black-and-white shows can only entertain you for a short time.
Barbara whimpered, covering her mouth because she did watch a lot of black-and-white shows.
Dick: Okay, we watched color shows back then! I said color shows… oh my God.
Damian (curious): What about music? Could they download it on an… MP3 player?
Tim (enjoying this, shaking his head): Nope! Didn’t exist yet. All they had were CDs and cassette tapes.
Damian: Oh my God, they're that old!
Tim (laughing and covering his mouth): Damn!
Barbara crushed her paper coffee cup in her hand, her left eye twitching as Dick stood to his feet, embarrassed. He rested his hands on the countertop, trying to regain his composure.
Dick (angry, raised voice): I am… not saying my age to you children! I had a phone eventually!
Tim: Not the one he had. You guys grew up Amish, didn't you?
Barbara: I can still punch you in the throat, Tim. Tread lightly.
Dick: I'm not sure about her, but I watched SpongeBob and Rocko's Modern Life.
Damian: Didn't SpongeBob first premiere in 1999? And what's Rocko's Modern Life? An oldies show?
Barbara sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose and shaking her head.
Barbara: Nice save, dumbass.
Damian (joining in on the mockery): How did you guys not go insane from boredom? Did you churn butter, go to church, watch the news?
Barbara (slamming her fist on the table): Look, my dad's a cop; I enjoy the news in general!
Damian: I was just curious about the headphone jack, which seems terribly archaic, but this is fascinating I have relics of the past in front of me.
Tim nodded, enjoying picking on their older sibling and friend.
Damian: I have a few more questions for you AARP members. Do you guys reserve early bird seating at restaurants? Do you use anti-aging skincare products, and did you ever use those papers that help with saving money?
Dick: You mean coupons? Oh no, I'm did it again! No, I can't be that old!
Dick sobbed softly.
Barbara (defensively): Sometimes I like an early dinner! Jesus! And if you want the headphone jack back, you can just ask us for one! I carry a lot because I'm cultured!
Barbara pulled out an iPhone Apple Lightning to Headphone Jack Adapter. Damian was thankful at first, but when he saw the Lightning part, he frowned.
Damian: This is for the older iPhones. They use USB-C now.
Barbara: Dick, hold me back.
Dick grabbed Barbara's arm while sitting on the floor again, and she tried to swipe at Damian with her other arm, offended. Tim grabbed Damian's arm and pulled him away while trying not to laugh. Barbara covered her face, groaning.
Barbara: Fuck, we’re old like Bruce now.
Dick (raised voice, defeated): Stop reminding me!
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xinganhao · 12 hours ago
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🩵 dead poets society member!vernon x reader.
offshoot from the dead poets society!hhu x reader verse. (highly advise to read that first before delving into this!) part of my svt university milestone event.
I said / "I am afraid I will spend entire years / trying not to need you." / As if I wasn't certain. As if this wasn't my confession. — I swear, next time I see you I'll be funny by Clementine Von Radics
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↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺ cool about it by boygenius. sa ngalan ng pag-ibig by december avenue. everything by the black skirts. buyer's remorse by daniel caesar & omar apollo. godspeed by frank ocean. someday i'll get it by alek olsen. everyone adores you (at least i do) by matt maltese. tie my shoes by beabadooobee. nothing can by niki.
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on his first year away, vernon focuses on physical distance. a foolish part of him thinks that the more miles he puts in between the two of you, the easier it will be for him to get over this stupid, hopeless crush that lasted throughout his uni years. and so vernon goes backpacking, goes solo traveling. he lets the wind take him wherever. if anything, he only realizes just how deeply ingrained you are in his subconscious. he thinks of you when he passes a secondhand bookstore. he itches to text when he has a particularly good coffee. and when the sky is clear, when it's just the perfect shade of blue? he swears he can hear you in the back of his head, quoting mary oliver. (or: this is the year vernon learns all the different ways you can miss a person.)
vernon spends his second year on dating apps. it makes him a bit sick to his stomach, really. he doesn't think he's doing it right. he matches with people, sure. even manages to bag a handful of dates. each one ends with him giving them some variation of 'i don't think this is going to work out', and when they inevitably ask why, he lies through his teeth. too busy to be in a serious relationship. too emotionally out of it to commit. anything but the truth. (or: this is the year vernon realizes that no one measures up to you.)
by the time his third year away rolls around, vernon is beginning to feel a bit pathetic. here he is, after all that time, and he's still haunted by the shadow of a relationship that didn't even come to the light. sometimes, that seems to be worse— saying goodbye and knowing the door is left open a crack. he distracts himself with literally everything else. he tries out improv. he finally opens up a letterboxd account. he signs up for marathons. (or: this is the year vernon runs, in more ways than one.)
there's less of an ache by the time that year four comes. vernon doesn't think of you as often as he used to. he's able to be with someone else without imagining you in their place. even as that relationship eventually ends, he's glad that it's because of reasons unrelated to you. he's finally gotten to a point where he can look at himself in the mirror and not think of all the ways he faltered or failed. despite everything, it's still him. (or: this is the year vernon accepts the version of himself in his reflection.)
five years. it takes five years before vernon can finally reach back out. not to everyone yet, no. he starts slow. mingyu gives him a whole load of shit for it. seungcheol asks a dozen questions. wonwoo understands. vernon is grateful for them, so much so that he finds himself watching the dead poets society on his plane ride home. it's all fun and games until the scene with robin williams, where the schoolboys are paying ode to him with cries of "o captain, my captain!" it's the very line that echoes in his head when he sees you some feet away from him during a chance encounter. suddenly, none of it matters. not the distance, not the blind dates, not the man that he's tried so hard to be. all he can think of— all he can see— is you. o captain, my captain. (or: this is the year vernon decides to be honest with himself.)
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