#it was for sometime and it helped me
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god please take every traumatic incident i had as a younger sibling and give it to tim drake
#i played the wii w my older brothers sometimes but usually it was mostly w my older cousins#i would get WRESTLED DOWN by my older cousins so that they could be player 1#i was fighting a war at age 7#god help me do NOT tag this as j*ytim#tim drake#jason todd#dc
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AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be
#actually adhd#actually autistic#audhd#aphelion.txt#ik 'adhd brain' vs 'autism brain' is a gross oversimplification especially given how much overlap there can be#but it at least helps me conceptualize wtf is going on in my head when i do this lol#and yeah i'm mostly referring to fandoms in this post but it can happen w more 'Traditional' special interests too#like my linguistics special interest which hasn't popped up in a couple years now but whenever it does#i will fill literal notebooks while studying 4 languages at once and simultaneously inventing a conlang#and then i'll be like Ok that was fun! and several months later im deleting like. 2gb of textbooks off my iphone to make room for an update#And sometimes yeah there is a precipitating event like 'Oh something new happened in X fandom with my blorbo!' but sometimes it's like#yeah. no. idk either. switch got flipped in my brain and X no longer sparks joy. only Y rn. how come it's Y? yeah idk i also wish i knew#i don't think any of this is actually an uncommon experience for people with these types of neurodivergencies it's just.#the severity of abruptness and TOTALITY of the switch that makes me feel like a weirdo sometimes lol#like I'M getting mental whiplash from this sometimes. idk how y'all are still following my blog
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Just your average male living space.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen qing#lan wangji#A-Yuan#wei wuxian#(***Content warning for me talking about unhygienic living conditions in the tags today***).#The worst part of drawing this comic is that I've seen so much worse. This is a livable space.#I've helped out friends and family who were struggling and let me just say...I have seen some pretty dysfunctional living spaces.#Hell I've *lived* in some very dysfunctional living spaces.#Hording dishes under the bed was always something that grossed me out but it's unfortunately something I've seen people do way too often.#The horror everyone has upon walking into WWX's 'living' set up is so consistently 'Mate how are you living like this?'#It's honestly so integral to me that WWX's 'just left home for the first time' house/room be a depression/dysfunction pit.#You can learn a lot about someon's state of mind from how they keep their living space...and this guy is oozing 'deep depression'.#I don't think he's eaten anything but foods that classify as a struggle meal in a year.#Everyone is trying to stage an intervention but he just isn't in a good enough place to help himself.#By the way: I want to steer away from shaming people who have messy homes/rooms because life *does* hit hard sometimes.#My love language is coming into your home to do your dishes and do some housework. Don't apologize for the mess king.#Nothing could top some of the places I've had to help my older siblings out of.#I'd be okay with my flatmate having a severed limb and a blood pool at this point.#As long as he lets me take out the dishes from under the bed - We're good! My standards are so low at this point.
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Sketchpage commission for @bortort featuring some experience sharing and subsequent comforting <3
#isat spoilers#full game spoilers#it's kind of surreal to see effectively a borderless sketch-comic but cleaned up to comm standards. i had fun rendering the flashbacks#comms are still closed rn (this one is backlog) but I may open them sometime soon to help with rent n such. We shall see~#anyhoo thank u for commissioning me bortort! i love an excuse to draw these two!#cw blood#in stars and time spoilers#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#isat isabeau#my art#commission
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sry i have chronic only draws megumi disorder the doctor said it's terminal :/
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#fanart#jjk fanart#megumi#me: 'i like yuuji and megumi Equally :)' also me:#i cant help it hes so fun to draW hes so easy to draw i love you i love you i love youuuuuu#also this is kiiind of me making good on that poll i did forever ago saying id draw catboys . so as promised here is A Catboy :3#hes sooooo meowmeow hes so gd CUTE god i love . fushiguro mEGUMI#to b fair i Do like yuuji and megu equally ffgsdjfdjh#sometimes u just gotta spend the whole entire day fully rendering what was supposed to be a megu sketch sheet#but now it is . just a char sheet by talos this cant keep happening#this all started bc i still want to practice/tweak the way i draw faces but it would appear i cannot control myself#also been loving drawing the cat megumi plush gddff fushiguro mewgumi is my favourite animal crossing villager#anyway so much for working on speed this was a fun 10 hours#its ok . i do it fr him <3 geto voice i dont mind being killed by you
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last ones i swear
#team fortress 2#tf2 fanart#tf2 medic#tf2 heavy#heavymedic#tf2#im on a fitness bent atm so drawing these idiots drinking is helping me with pub based fomo#noooo sorry i cant come to the pub i gotta lift do my 5km and draw tf2#in before i get yelled at in comments: at least here in scotland dipas are served in thistle glasses but also it really doesn't matter#sometimes you might want your big hoppy flavours in wee glasses though#my next frontier re hands is drawing them interacting! im not quite good enough yet to sell the arm wrestling...i'll revisit it as i want t#share my heavy armwrestling tierlist of who-can-beat-him
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FORGETTABLE-AU (page 82-85)
THAT LAZYBONES!!
[BEGINNING] [PREVIOUS] [CONTINUE]
#So sorry it took me almost 2 weeks to post these#I was busy irl but ALSO I had too much fun doing extra art and forgot to work on these for like 3 days lmao#NOW THIS TIME I DO HAVE SOME THING TO SAY#YAY RIVERPERSON! SO MANY PEOPLE GUESSED CORRECTLY!#It wasn't that hard#We know Papyrus knows the river person#are they friends? idk BUT I PERSONALLY THINK THEY ARE#I just LOVEEE looking at the dialogue and making connections#I referenced one of the lines from the river person here...sometimes they'll ask you if you know any game you can play with a dog...#They said they were “asking for a friend...”#And I couldn't help but think about Papyrus' problem with the annoying dog LMAO#+ Papyrus seems very excited to know if the river person is there when you call him nearby that area#Okay so... now ...some comic thing that I made up but also didn't...#“FLOWEY DOESN'T KNOW WHO THE RIVER PERSON IS?”#okay so...#I feel like#It's not very common for them to be there...#When talking with Undyne around that area it's kind of *unclear* if she knows about the river person being there....#She tells you about the river connecting different areas and that you should “jump in”#She then clarifies that's the only thing they got for public transport#AND LIKE? It's unclear if she's telling you to jump in the boat (OR IF SHE KNOWS THERE'S SOMEONE WITH A BOAT) or is she's literally telling#you to jump in the river?????#Anyways...so...that's that#HEHE Flowey and Papyrus finally arrived at the house! WOHOO#Sans is too lazy to bring his old stuff to the surface! (or does he still think he'll end up back in the underground eventually?)#undertale#undertale comic#forgettable-au-comic#papyrus#flowey
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#if your regular sleep med of choice is Benadryl I’m afraid of you#Idek what my answer is though??? probably melatonin. it helps a lot when I need to fix my sleep schedule#sleep soundly <3333#I also sometimes take ashwaganda if it’s not too expensive or is mixed w other stuff. and drink sleepy teas but not necessarily JUST toslee#I was on olanzapine and that helped my sleep a lot (at the cost of eventually making me feel so so tired during the day)#anyways you must tell me
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I think if I could be the kind stranger in someone’s memory, that’d be enough.
#sometimes I really sit and think about how much impact the sweet strangers in my life have had on me#thatve helped me keep going without ever knowing just how fucking miserable I was before them#like how can I ever repay the family that drew pictures and left them at my door as an apology for all the noise#the man who held the train door for me even after I slowed down bc I didn’t think I’d make it#the girl who held my hand at the beach because the waves were too strong for both of us to stand on our own#the nurse that charged my phone when I was at the hospital#like????#humans are good actually#hopecore#hopepunk#the indomitable human spirit
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It's essential to teach them color theory when they're young so they understand how to mix colors. How else will you get art that's good enough for the fridge?
Day 6 of DCA Promptober - hues plus bonus animation of Sun imitating the Mac's wait cursor aka the Spinning Beach Ball of Doom
#loaf art#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf sun#sundrop#dcatober24#sometimes sacrifices have to be made in the name of ART - this is what I'm telling myself in regards to Sun painting the rays#Finally got this done! And it's only... 51 days late. It's fine it's fine#Thanks to everybody in the dfpu chat who helped me come up with stuff to doodle for the border. It was a big help and a lot of fun!#we really did recreate what is going on in the drawing!#also thanks to snails muffin and terror for the animation pointers & terminology#Smear frames were def the way to go! Not whatever I was trying to do before asking for help#I guess this counts as my first *real* animation so hooray!#I *might* use some of the remaining prompts for future drawings but at this point I have other things I want to work on#even though I was only able to finish a few of these I felt like I still learned a lot#it definitely got me into the habit of drawing every day#and I'm still doing that so this event was a big win in my book!#and no joke I really did color pick from the load cursor just so I could do the silly spinning thing
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Hi !
I got bottom surgery on July 25th :3
I'm recovering well but I'll be on bedrest for a while. Collie and I will need rent help for September/food/gas/utilities/etc. Two disabled trans women. Anything helps ! Thank yall so much for all you've helped so far, it's saved my life ❤️
https://venmo.com/u/nora-esther-rose
https://www.paypal.me/NoraEstherRose
https://venmo.com/u/Leah-Esther-Rose
https://www.paypal.me/androgynophore
#leah is still her legal name#her mom helps w us having a phone at all and can sometimes help but never a full months rent help so thats def the most pressing matter#but we already paid august rent and we have a month so we'll probably be fine#actually still havent paid utilities :/#i was wondering if more donations would happen since the surgery date and apparently not#got three the day of and two the day before but we're at 70 rn after all the gas of dropping me off and visiting twice or smth.#idk. stupid van. she should be taking public transit but i get why she doesnt want to. barely anyone masks on public transit here anymore :/#edit update: collies mom helped us pay utilities for last month which was mostly the electricity bill. water bill comes every 3 months#so i guess we'll see how much that is.
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For moment, you are home.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#granny wen#a-yuan#wen qing#wei wuxian#wen ning#wen bin bin#Si-shu#I had hopes to post this for Valentine's day - but I chose to practice self-love and get some sleep.#Instead I am here on the day of this blog's two year anniversary to reminisce and give thanks.#Not quite about blog stuff. That's for another post. I have quite a few treats to share for this anniversary!#Rather...I've been thinking about my own relationships and the bonds I've forged and broken.#The transition between environments...when you leave somewhere and hear about how all the people you were once close with-#-have been moving on without you? It's so bittersweet.#You want to be happy for them. You wish you were at their side. You cannot be at their side.#Relationships change like the tides. They ebb and flow. Sometimes they crash so hard into the shore it reshapes it entirely.#The truth is that we are more surrounded by love than we realize. Even when we feel utterly alone - there is someone who wants to help.#And to me this scene strikes a chord in that way.#This is the reminder than even though you feel like it is all burning down around you - you are loved.#There are people who miss you. People who are so thankful for your presence in their life.#And most importantly of all. And I say this from the heart: There are people you have yet to meet.#Remember this in the darkest of days: The future is full of loves you have yet to see. The present is also full of love you forgot to see.#Another reminder to go tell someone you care about how much they mean to you today. It matters.
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Thanks to artfight, I’ve finally finished a detailed, official dbhc cub reference! :D
(I’ve put his Artifight description below the cut, which has a more detailed explanation of his timeline, lore, and aesthetics! >:3)
-ˋˏ ༻ ❁ OVERVIEW ❁ ༺ ˎˊ-
Name: C.B.F.N.4000 (Cub) Pronouns: He/Him Species: Android Height: 5’9’’ Associated Visual Themes: vex, ghosts, explosions, mischief, scientist aesthetic, potions, potionmaking, sleepy/tired aesthetic, conspiracies
-ˋˏ ༻ ❁ ABOUT ❁ ༺ ˎˊ-
CBFN4000 is an au version of MCYT Hermitcraft’s Cubfan, set in my DBHC (or Detroit Become Hermitcraft) AU! This au is inspired by the 2018 game Detroit Become Human, but not because it really has anything to do with DBH—I simply yoinked the android mechanics and incorporated them into the world of Hermitcraft. It began as a S8 au, and has roughly followed the hermitcraft timeline up to the present!
Cub was the last android made during Season 8. While many of the hermit androids were made at the beginning of season 8 and a few were made for season 9, Cub was finished and activated mid-late Season 8, around the time when Hermits started noticing the Big Moon. Cub’s model ended up being a sloppy experiment in deviation, as Doc suggested they try to transfer deviancy to an android upon activation to try and avoid traumatic situations that might cause an android to deviate violently or upsettingly, such as Etho’s, Tango’s, or Mumbo’s experiences. While this went relatively well initially, it clearly wasn’t very thoroughly thought out, as Xisuma (who is normally so adamant and detail-oriented when it comes to assuring the androids’ safety with experiments like this) wasn’t truly himself due to external manipulation and mostly left a relatively young-deviant Doc to carry out the project himself.
Cub, though adjusting to sentience rather well at first, very quickly became wrapped up in the Big Moon happenings on the server, new personality and inexperience to emotions like fear and ignorance completely overwhelming his young system. He became obsessive over the implications and consequences of the Season 8 Moon Apocalypse, joining the Mooners and spreading his conspiracy theories religiously throughout the server as he descended into madness. The insanity was like a virus to his programming, pervasive and all-engulfing, and Cub’s final attempt to free himself from the Moon’s impact with the Earth—to launch himself on a llama into space via potion-powered TNT(insane btw)— left his hands and feet singed and cracked to ruin.
The experiment, considered a horrific failure by a deeply shameful—and more awake—S9 Xisuma, left Doc and Xisuma with the decision to reset him for the new season, and they ended up pairing him with a hermit like they had done with the other androids until they had found deviancy enough to pursue their own projects. So, at the start of season 9 and fresh after a reset, Cub was paired with Scar. Naturally, because Scar is… Scar, Cub deviated almost instantly after being given to him, and very quickly adopted the iconic lazy, stoic, amused attributes normally associated with Cubfan. Scar’s tendency towards mischief and general shenanigans grew instantly on Cub, and the two were an immediate inseparable pair. So much so that when Scar began rambling one day about his Season 5 Hermitcraft Shenanigans (where deals with the Vex may or may not have been involved), Cub immediately stated he was interested in being in on it. Whatever “it” means. It’s unclear if Cub also made a deal with the vex or became connected to them in some other way, but… well, he got Doc’s help to trick out his eyes, hair, and back to best fit the part. Scar is very jealous that he can't magically make himself have the same features to match.
Cub is closest with Scar, but he gets along just as well with any of the other hermits! He’s close with Jevin and many of the other redstoners like Etho and Doc, who are the other two androids I’ve put on artfight!
-ˋˏ ༻ ❁ EXTRAS ❁ ༺ ˎˊ-
Cub's eyes can light up in the dark, and he’s the only android who has edited his programming so that the default state of his LED is white, not blue. It still will go yellow and red if his processors are working particularly hard, but he’s replaced the blue setting on his LED with white to better match the Vex vibe. Cub has all of the vibes of a fae. If that’s anything <3
#dbhc#dbhc art#dbhc ref#dbhc cub#cubfan#hermitcraft#cubfan135#hermitcraft au#art escapades#writing everything out in a really succinct/condense way is actually really helpful#I might add Etho and Doc’s artfight descriptions to their own reference pages actually#just because it’s really helpful to have all of the lore in one place LOL#I always wrap up these ideas in my head and save them for when I can make art to reveal the plot dramatically yknow#but for characters that aren’t really my priority right now it’s kind of nice to just get the info down#especially for the people who ask about specific characters a lot#SO ANYWAY#I ramble#if anyone has any opinions on this method of relaying dbhc lore feel free to lmk!#there will obviously be things that I keep hidden :3#Bc sometimes art reveals are the best >:3#but for stuff I might not get to in a while…. yeah#I don’t mind it#ALSO#HILARIOUS TO ME THAT freshly awoken cub reminds me a lot of IRL cub LMAO
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corvidae
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#blood/#yuuji#im not tagging this as spoilers idc sue me . iykyk but i dont think it's obvious enough at all 2 warrant the tag#idrk what this is sorry ive been having a hard time drawing n feeling inspired lately :'>>> so it goes#i find i tend to default to drawing birds when that happens ???#did it with gojo did it with shiro and now it's yuuji's turn ig#sometimes it's helpful to just . mess around with a whole bunch of brushes until something looks ok#and birds and feathers lean soooo well 2 playing around w brushes theyre very forgiving#flowers also kind of so i threw in some camellias bc i figured why not add More Red#i think they mean something that's probably relevant but i was more looking fr the shape of the petals#th rounded tops blend rly seamlessly with the way i rendered th feathers so i am like!!!! nice#just checked also apparently red camellias just mean love and devotion lmao should have guessed#'perishing with grace' also hm hm hm that's kind of wild with th crows#anyway i didn't put too much thought in2 this one so i won't talk fr ages about the symbolism it's all pretty much right there#anyway ty fr being patient with me im sorry draws have been slow :<#ill come out of it ill bounce back!
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I know we all appreciate dominant Mel, but I live for her getting chances to be handled with softness and care
#arcane#mel medarda#jayce talis#meljay#mel x jayce#jayce x mel#my art#*mentions mel and vik art* *immediately posts meljay art*#LMAO#people are free to tag any of my mel jay or mel vik as meljayvik#i ship all of them#trying to keep this from accidentally showing up when people search for mel and vik ship#lmk if it didn't work#dude i ALSO believe mel would be an unparalleled dom in bed#BUT ALSO what if she's so tired of being in control during the day#that she really just wants to let that go with a partner#even if it's just sometimes#you cannot tell me jayce wouldn't be THE MOST gentle with her#he would do The Most#yes I drawn this pose like a million times before#i have a problem I KNOW#shout out to my friend gavin for helping me with this pic#it looks WAY better after their help#goldenforge
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one of the most powerful messages orv has tbh is "your self-loathing behavior badly hurts other people who want to care for you." a lot of depictions of depression, suicidality, issues with self-esteem, etc. focus near-exclusively on the person who suffers from them, which is understandable, but I love that orv is commited to showing how SELFISH kdj's behavior can be. he tends to trample over other people's desperate wishes to connect to him and love him because he doesn't think he's worthy of it, and it ends up being some of the worst pain those people have ever experienced when he won't let them reach him! he's of course a sympathetic character but he still has this horrible habit of disregarding other people's emotions in ways that are unintentionally awfully cruel!
like idk i don't think anything's ever put a silver bullet through a martyr complex quite like the message of "you hurt people SO MUCH WORSE by harming & isolating yourself than any pain you could potentially cause them by sharing your burdens with them." it's realistic and kind while still being the brick upside the head some people need to snap em out of it lmao
#narrates#orv#im just rambling casually but i think this may be one of orv's top most helpful messages for me#it's easy to justify your self-destructive behavior by thinking you're protecting others from yourself.#so sometimes the thing you DO need to hear is not 'you should care for yourself for your own sake'#but 'you are being a jackass to your loved ones by acting like this'#like damn guess i can't argue with that!!
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