Text
Burnt out
#initially this was meant to be something else entirely#but i wasn't really liking how it was going so I scrapped the idea and opted out for something a bit more personal#ive been really suffering from burn out for the last few years and just barely keeping my head above water#there are times where i seriously feel like ive failed in every aspect of my career#like if i were good enough i wouldn't have burnt out#i love my job and i love my trade i love every skill ive gain up until this point#but its been hard not to take it personally when all the effort you've put into honing those skills#are abused or exploited#life is difficult enough already and and time is fleeting#taking time for yourself is above all the most important thing you can do to help your work flourish#taking a break isn't failure#its health#we aren't machines despite our industries treating us as such#just waiting and hoping that itll pay off#ive certainly learned my lesson#and im looking forward to brighter horizons#and healthier more respectful ones#ill be okay ive learned how to love my art in my personal time again#but i certainly need to let my mind rest and my body to recover#these tags are lengthy anyways#unionize and dont work for nothing from large companies#be gay do drugs love your friends make art for yourself too#my art#scuttles out of here#i hope these long ass images actually show up in full resolution#i did draw them fucking TOLL as hell
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
I realized I make a lot of spelling mistakes, damn you autism!
Anywho can we see more of the virtues? I would love to see kindness more, like him on the couch like how you described
Sfhfhshsjhd y’know what’s funny, my autism does the opposite bc I’m a nerd whose special interest is spelling and grammar 😂 but yeah I completely feel that no worries bud
Oh and HELL yeah I love my guy Kindness!! and so it is my great pleasure to reveal to you all this, my first fully colored comic in probably years because uh. welp y'all know how art block be lmao
also since this is based on a scene I sorta wrote out in a previous post, I've included that snippet under the comic! And here's a link to the original post, where I detailed everything about the virtues.
and then he immediately pops out of existence lmaoooooo
Max tells him to sit on the couch and relax while he grabs some snacks and coffee. The whole time, he has to keep insisting that Kindness stay seated instead of jumping back up to help. Eventually he grabs Kindness by the shoulders to explain that having his partner as, essentially, a self-offered indentured servant is funny and all, but it’s making him uncomfortable. They work so well together because they’ve always been equal, and as high and mighty as Max likes to act sometimes, it feels bad to just keep taking everything from his best friend and to be unable to give anything back. In a dreadfully ironic twist, preventing Max (and others, by extension) from doing anything for him is sort of unkind in and of itself. “So just keep your ass seated and let me do what I need to do, okay? You’re stressing me out. Eat your donut and calm down already.” And Kindness, maybe a little starry-eyed, finally concedes and allows Max to grab a blanket and finish making them some coffee. Once that’s done they sit on the couch together under the blanket for a minute and watch some junk TV while they eat a much-needed snack. After a few minutes of that, Max ventures, “Sooo…can I get that heart now, or…?” “Aw, buddy. You know you already have it.” And with a final little side hug, which Max finally returns with only a little grumbling about how sappy it is, he poofs out of existence.
#HOOOOOO boy this took a long ass time#well not really though just like...ok nvm it was a long time#I was gonna say I colored most of the panels tonight and then wrote all this up so that wasn't too bad#but I forgot I did the first one yesterday (and made it way more detailed) and also did all the sketches a different day#so actually yeah it's been a minute. Certainly the most complicated piece I've done in a couple months if not all year fjkdljfsfds#but worth it!! I'm so pleased with how it turned out eehehehe#sam and max#sam and max freelance police#freelance husbands#seven heavenly virtues au#my art#asks
172 notes
·
View notes
Text
DOCTOBER '24 ⸺ 「 1 / 31 * RED-LETTER DATE 」
“Hey Doc? I wanna ask you something.”
Emmett doesn’t pop his head through the doorway to acknowledge his friend, too focused on topping off one of the mugs of hot chocolate with a generous helping of marshmallows, but he does shout, “Of course, Marty,” into the air. “You know you don’t have to ask. Let me bring Verne his cup and then you’ll have my undivided attention.”
Marty makes a vague noise that many years of friendship has taught Emmett means sure thing, Doc, and it takes him barely three minutes to drop off the hot chocolate to Verne, who smiled like it was Christmas morning when he saw the mountain of marshmallows floating at the top, and join Marty in the living room, carrying the tray with their own drinks. He passes one of them off to Marty who accepts with a smile and a nod and then takes a seat opposite him, fixing him with an expectant look.
“So, what did you want to ask me?”
Marty’s eyes immediately drift to the shelf, where Emmett and Clara’s small assortment of family photos sit, arranged in elegant wooden frames. In the centre is a black and white photo that has started to yellow around the edges, looking paradoxically fragile and yet able to withstand even the most rigorous tests of time, holding onto that frozen memory for all eternity. Emmett turns his head to follow Marty’s attention, his eyes alighting on the single photo he expects will be the topic of their conversation.
Ah. Out of all of them, there is only one Marty was never able to be present for.
For once, Emmett manages to look perfectly natural in a photograph, even dressed to the nines in a sharp suit. His smile stretches from ear-to-ear, making him look at least ten years younger, and though his face is angled away from the camera, his eyes are bright and alive, brimming with love and warmth. Marty could even imagine the photographer trying to get Emmett’s attention, demanding he look at him for the photo, only for every single word to go in one ear and straight out the other when Clara was standing beside him, smiling, the picture of radiance as she regards her husband with the same fond warmth. Her wedding dress was no more intricate than any of the outfits Marty had seen her wear during his few days in the Nineteenth Century, yet it seemed to be made for her and her alone, perfectly tailored and somehow able to put even the outfits of royalty to shame.
If Clara was the sun, Emmett was the moon that revolved around her. In that single moment, forever frozen in time, they were the only two people on Earth.
“I had been wanting to ask for a while, but–”
“No, no, of course. You didn’t get the chance to see it, and I’m sorry for that, so I’d be happy to fill you in on the details.”
Marty curls his fingers around the warm mug, shuffling somewhat in his seat, and Emmett waits patiently, noting each one of Marty’s nervous habits as they arise. There are a hundred and one things Marty wants to say, Emmett can see them written across his body, written into every small movement, and, equal and opposite, there are a thousand things Emmett wants to say in return, things he makes an effort to hold back until Marty speaks first.
“I’m happy for you two, Doc–really, I am. Clara’s–well, Clara’s amazing. And I’ve never seen you so happy before. I was afraid that–” Marty shakes his head, his eyes focused on the photographs. “When I first saw the picture, I was…” He forces a laugh, but there’s no humour in it and Emmett would know that self-depreciatory tone anywhere.
“It’s stupid, I know. I didn’t realise it at first, but I was jealous. Can you believe that, Doc? My best friend is happy, he’s got a family for Christ’s sake, and I was too busy at first being afraid that now you’re–you’re just gonna forget me because you’ve got Clara and the boys and the house and there wouldn’t be a place for me.”
Emmett’s eyes widen despite knowing the blow was coming and before he can open his mouth, allow the words that have been building up on his tongue to break free, Marty shakes his head and continues, reinforcing the wall and keeping the words at bay just a little longer.
“I know what you’re gonna say, Doc. I already said I know it’s stupid but I couldn’t help feeling that way. And I should have asked you about your wedding and everything a lot longer ago but I-I just couldn’t. And that’s fucking stupid, right? I want to know because I couldn’t be there for you and you’ve always been there for me.”
Marty’s words are a blade driven straight through his chest, each word twisting that razor-sharp blade a little more. He can’t help the pang of guilt he feels echoing in his ribcage, scraping against the bars of a prison he will not allow it to escape from, not now. This conversation was a long time coming–he’d almost expected it sooner rather than later, but he knew better than to push, knowing Marty would open up when he was ready–but no amount of anticipation could have prepared him for the blow that hearing it put to words would strike.
The Time Machine’s destruction had not been an accident. Everything had been carefully orchestrated to prevent any further corruption of the timestream, to spare himself the temptation–the broken heart–of trying to go back against all rational, scientific thought.
Ultimately, Marty couldn’t stay in the Nineteenth Century, not if he wanted to live a normal life, not if he wanted to be happy. And he couldn’t allow Marty to become another unsolved disappearance, leaving the McFlys to wonder and agonise over their youngest son who vanished from the face of the Earth without a trace.
Emmett may not have planned to stay, but even he couldn’t predict Clara’s intervention.
Life had to go on, even under extreme or difficult circumstances. There was only one choice available, then.
Still, Emmett doesn’t hesitate.
“Marty, I could never forget you. Whether we’re in the same time period or separated across the timestream, you will always be my best friend. And I will never stop caring about you. I know things have been busy lately, both for you and for me, what with your college courses and the boys’ schooling and Clara’s acclimation to the Twentieth Century and making the necessary repairs on the house–” Emmett stops himself before he runs off the entire list of seemingly infinitely-growing projects on his list.
“The point is, nothing is going to change that. And I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel neglected or unwanted at any point, because that couldn’t be further from the truth.”
Marty nods, finally pulling his eyes away from the photo to take a good long look at his best friend.
“I know, Doc. God, I know. You must think I’m an asshole.”
“You’re not an asshole. Far from it.”
Marty actually smiles at that, swirling his hot chocolate carefully in the cup. “So… You’ll still tell me about your wedding day?”
“Of course I will, Marty.” Emmett pauses for a moment, a thoughtful expression working its way over his face. Then, he smiles, almost conspiratorially as he recalls something of particular note. “The minister certainly wasn’t pleased when we changed until death do us part to something a little more fitting–until the end of time—”
@bttfdoctober
#back to the future#bttf#bttfdoctober#doctober 2024#LET'S GOOOO#SO. i've got a lot of thoughts about well everything but#i definitely think that while marty loves clara and the boys of course he couldn't help but be wary of them at first#feel jealous. think he was being replaced because now he wasn't the most important thing to doc#he's got the boys and a beautiful wife - why would he need/want marty along?#and there was definitely some jealousy and even low-key resentment/hostility at first which clara most certainly noticed#marty feels terrible about that but he couldn't help it. and neither doc nor clara reproach him for it because he's not wrong to feel as su#and though life gets busy doc could never forget marty but it's easy to forget that for marty - especially in the wake of all that's happen#and i think marty deeply regrets / perhaps even resents the fact that he didn't get to attend doc's wedding#one of the most important days of his best friend's life and he missed it#and missed ten years of doc's life too - separated by the once again impassable barrier of time.#it's a lot. it's complex and messy and all that#marty does want to know about the wedding - absolutely - but there's still so much they have to talk about#and this got so fucking long. 1200+ words and they all suck fjlk;asd;jf#BUT IT'S WRITTEN AND OH WELL.#i'll get back into the swing of it later#i have many many thoughts about the doc/clara wedding too ugh#clara looked absolutely beautiful and you can't convince me otherwise. she was the only one at that ceremony for doc and you know it#also this was supposed to go in a totally different direction yet somehow we ended up here. whoops! i strike again.
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
"[Elizabeth Woodville's] piety as queen seems to have been broadly conventional for a fifteenth-century royal, encompassing pilgrimages, membership of various fraternities, a particular devotion to her name saint, notable generosity to the Carthusians, and the foundation of a chantry at Westminster after her son was born there. ['On other occasions she supported planned religious foundations in London, […] made generous gifts to Eton College, and petitioned the pope to extend the circumstances in which indulgences could be acquired by observing the feast of the Visitation']. One possible indicator of a more personal, and more sophisticated, thread in her piety is a book of Hours of the Guardian Angel which Sutton and Visser-Fuchs have argued was commissioned for her, very possibly at her request."
-J.L. Laynesmith, "Elizabeth Woodville: The Knight's Widow", "Later Plantagenet and Wars of the Roses Consorts: Power, Influence, Dynasty"
#historicwomendaily#elizabeth woodville#my post#friendly reminder that there's nothing indicating that Elizabeth was exceptionally pious or that her piety was 'beyond purely conventional'#(something first claimed by Anne Crawford who simultaneously claimed that Elizabeth was 'grasping and totally lacking in scruple' so...)#EW's piety as queen may have stood out compared to former 15th century predecessors and definitely stood out compared to her husband#but her actions in themselves were not especially novel or 'beyond normal' and by themselves don't indicate unusual piety on her part#As Laynesmith's more recent research observes they seem to have been 'broadly conventional'#A conclusion arrived at Derek Neal as well who also points out that in general queens and elite noblewomen simply had wider means#of 'visible material expression of [their] personal devotion' - and also emphasizes how we should look at their wider circumstances#to understand their actions (eg: the death of Elizabeth's son George in 1479 as a motivating factor)#It's nice that we know a bit about Elizabeth's more personal piety - for eg she seems to have developed an attachment to Westminster Abbey#It's possible her (outward) piety increased across her queenship - she undertook most of her religious projects in later years#But again - none of them indicate the *level* of her piety (ie: they don't indicate that she was beyond conventionally pious)#By 1475 it seems that contemporaries identified Cecily Neville as the most personally devout from the Yorkist family#(though Elizabeth and even Cecily's sons were far greater patrons)#I think people also assume this because of her retirement to Westminster post 1485#which doesn't work because 1) we don't actually know when she retired? as Laynesmith says there is no actual evidence for the traditional#date of 12 February 1487#2) she had very secular reasons for retiring (grief over the death of her children? her lack of dower lands or estates which most other#widows had? her options were very limited; choosing to reside in the abbey is not particularly surprising. it's a massive and unneeded jump#to claim that it was motivated solely by piety (especially because it wasn't a complete 'retirement' in the way people assume it was)#I think historians have a habit of using her piety as a GOTCHA!' point against her vilification - which is a flawed and stupid argument#Elizabeth could be the most pious individual in the world and still be the pantomime villain Ricardians/Yorkists claim she was#They're not mutually exclusive; this line of thinking is useless#I think this also stems from the fact that we simply know very little about Elizabeth as an individual (ie: her hobbies/interests)#certainly far less than we do for other prominent women Margaret of Anjou; Elizabeth of York;; Cecily Neville or Margaret Beaufort#and I think rather than emphasizing that gap of knowledge her historians merely try to fill it up with 'she was pious!'#which is ... an incredibly lackluster take. I think it's better to just acknowledge that we don't know much about this historical figure#ie: I do wish that her piety and patronage was emphasized more yes. but it shouldn't flip too far to the other side either.
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sometimes you just have to have a little cry in the middle of a bunch of 500 year-old books, and that's okay. I am telling myself it's okay.
#well. not all 500 year-old. but the oldest ones are#with the semester finishing up there's a grant ending at the historical medical library where i've been working#and they are having to reduce the number of student staff#i had a suspicion i was one of the people that wasn't getting asked to come back and. that appears to be true#and while i probably didn't do anything more wrong than anyone else and it almost certainly does come down to finances#it still feels bad#and i'm sad about it because i love it here#and like. it's okay. i'll be okay#i have another work study job in a different archive still#and with the research grant i got i'll still get to be in here a lot doing my own research#i am a stronger person than i used to be and i can take something like this a lot better than i would have when i was younger#but man. still need to have a cry about it
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
literally so fucked up I had one day outside with a friend and I've been suffering for a MONTH. chronic illness go die forever.
#i know it wasn't just that but it did make me flare and that flare was certainly a catalyst for everything else that happened#my tolerance for heat and sun has been non existent this year idk what that's about but i think that's also a huge part of it#i have quite frankly. fucking had enough.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
i need to write a proper backstory for my pathfinder character beyond the basic stuff laid out before the campaign started and answer dm questions about her... and i need to make a character for the new 5e campaign i'm in... busy busy...
#the new character takes priority since pachy already has Some stuff laid out and the stuff that isn't there isn't immediately necessary#hmm. the things i had kicking around in my head for new characters don't work for this campaign.#the things i wanted to try - i want to take another go at a changeling bard since i spent a lot of time on one years ago and didn't get to#play her... since i ended up having to dm that campaign.#and then i want to take another crack at a kalashtar and make another tempest cleric#maybe not the same character this time. vash wasn't weak by any means but certainly she could have had a better match#for the extremely tanky thing that she was built and played as#kalashtar i feel like would also be served by a more bard-y or rogue-y class... maybe a trickery cleric as well?#but i'm wanting to play a campaign-specific subclass cleric so that's not the right choice#personal
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Reasons why I frequently make my friends and family baked goods/confections:
So they'll never feel desperate enough to betray me for turkish delight
Love I guess
#look the boy was on sugar rations and like eleven#his prefrontal cortex still had fourteen more years to develop and war rationing certainly wasn't helping that#however i am blessed with access to a variety of foods including sugars#i have even gone to the lengths of perfecting a chocolate cake recipe that is gluten-free and vegan and as good as its normal counterpart#because nobody in my family can eat anything lmao#anyway if youve read all this and want the recipe lmk and i can share it#narnia#edmund pevensie#ed pevensie#the chronicles of narnia#chronicles of narnia#edmund narnia#narnia edmund#food#food ment#food cw#cw food#tw food#food tw#food mention
104 notes
·
View notes
Text
Childermass & Segundus - it sounds very well
So one day the York Society of Magicians receives a new member, and Childermass is like okay, no big deal, those guys never do anything interesting anyway.
But then, right, then the new guy and one of the old guys writes to Mr Norrell and asks if they may have the pleasure of waiting on him sometime, and Mr Norrell is like "No" but Childermass is like "Actually yes" because he's intrigued, or because the cards have told him something is about to happen, or because Mr Norrell is years overdue to go to London and revive English magic and Childermass figures this might jostle him into doing something. We don't know what exactly happened, but it seems likely that it was Childermass who made the visit possible, because the idea of Mr Norrell ever wanting visitors is impossible to accept.
So these two theoretical magicians come to Hurtfew Abbey, and Childermass is in the library waiting for the visit to end and Norrell to show up and tell him what the men wanted, but instead, when the door opens, there they are, the visitors, having been invited to see the library and what the fuck did they say to old Gilbert to make that happen?? Not that it matters, they're not gonna remember anything by the time they get home, the enchantments will see to that.
Mr Norrell introduces Childermass, and the new guy gives him a look like Childermass facinates him, but Childermass is used to that. He figures he'll just hang out until they leave.
Except the new guy, who is a dark, timid-looking little man named John Segundus, keeps looking around like he can sense the spells lighting the room, keeps looking out the window like he's not happy with the orientation of the walls, keeps blinking like the magic is making him a little dizzy. John Segundus is clearly magic sensitive. No one in the York Society is magic sensitive, Childermass knows that for a fact. This is suddenly intriguing.
So Childermass ends up keeping half an eye on Mr Segundus as he explores, until Mr Segundus notices, sensitive as he is, and their eyes meet. Childermass reads longing, need, delight and confusion on the man's face, but Childermass is without pity; by the time Mr Segundus gets home, he won't remember what he's seen. It doesn't matter; no one in the York Society ever did anything interesting anyway.
But then later, the letter from Dr Foxcastle comes, and Mr Norrell is Upset and Offended, and Childermass realises that the Revival is about to start at last. And because Mr Norrell is fearful and Childermass is pitiless, they send a lawyer with their demands.
Mr Robinson the lawyer returns to Hurtfew a little perplexed. Oh yes, they all signed, just like you said they would, every one of them ... except ... except one. Childermass is a little surprised to discover that the timid little man had a spine after all. Mr Norrell wants Mr Robinson to go back and demand the last signature, but Childermass says "Wait". And at this point, we do not know what he is thinking. Perhaps he simply thinks that they will need someone to write to London once the miracle has been done, and Mr Segundus is more likely to be amiable if he has not just been deprived of his calling. But then, Mr Honeyfoot, the other visitor, would definitely be happy to write, even though he WILL be deprived of that same calling. Perhaps, Childermass thinks that this is a strangely fateful twist, that the one member of the York Society who has an actual talent for magic is the one person who refused to give it up. Maybe he remembers a time when he himself was full of longing for magic, when he could sense it all around him but was unable to grasp it, when he too would get dizzy in Mr Norrell's library. He may not feel pity, but he can be intrigued. He convinces Mr Norrell to let Mr Segundus be.
Childermass laughs inside when John Segundus doesn't recognise him outside the cathedral, but then startles when the man almost recalls after all. He is not supposed to be able to break the enchantment. Thankfully, the moment passes, and after the magic is done, Mr Segundus turns out to be exactly as easy to manipulate as Childermass thought he would be. The polite ones are easy, especially when they are full of need and longing, and keep looking at Childermass like he has the answers they are searching for. Maybe Childermass uses a little bit of magic to persuade the man to write to London, or maybe he just smiles, and waits, and lets John Segundus come to him of his own accord.
Childermass returns to Hurtfew Abbey and says to his master "Go to London. Go now." and because Childermass knows about these things, they go.
And nine years pass in London.
But occasionally during those nine years, Childermass turns his attention to York, to see what timid little John Segundus is up to. Mostly it's not much.
Until Jonathan Strange happens. That he happens at all is rather extraordinary, but how interesting that he should come to seek Mr Norrell on the advice of John Segundus? For sure there are many people with an affinity for magic in England, but how many of them are magicians? Too few, thinks Childermass. How likely is it that two of them should meet at random? He wonders if this is another fated twist.
So he continues to keep half an eye on York, just in case Mr Segundus should discover how to actually grasp the magic that surrounds him. But when Strange returns from the war in Spain, his conversation tells Childermass that even with the learning, even with actual spells to hand, their timid little man in York cannot make the magic work.
John Segundus begins taking on pupils. Childermass keeps it from Mr Norrell. Childermass has been the instrument of many a theoretical magician's destruction, Childermass reads the hearts of men and feels no pity for them, and yet Childermass keeps John Segundus hidden from Mr Norrell. Maybe, just maybe, John Childermass is beginning to feel a little bit of pity after all. He was once the one longing to master the powers that often overpowered him. He too loves magic so much, enough to endure servitude and secrecy to be near it.
But then John Segundus wants to start a school. Well, if he is going to be that silly, then Childermass cannot help him. Mr Norrell finds out, Mr Norrell panics, and he dispatches Childermass to York to put a stop to this evil plan. Business as usual in other words.
Childermass sits quite comfortably on the steps of Starecross when John Segundus comes home. Childermass delivers his message.
"You know me, Sir," he says, completely forgetting that while he has always had half an eye on John Segundus, John Segundus has not seen Childermass for nine years. Maybe, just maybe, Childermass is a little embarrassed at his mistake. But the errand is completed, and Mr Segundus is easy to manipulate, because he is so very gentle and polite.
Childermass may or may not have noticed that he has been manipulated in turn, because he, who has no pity for any man, lets Mr Segundus know that he regrets that the school cannot be, and he is willing to do what he can to keep Mr Segundus' dream from failing entirely. Although of course, he knows that a regular school is not at all the same as a school of magic.
Childermass knows what it's like to long, but he has found, if not the answers to his questions, then at least the tools by which to hunt them down. He can do the magic.
Then Mr Strange and Mr Norrell quarrel.
And then Lady Pole tries to shoot Mr Norrel. The lady walks with one foot in Faerie and one in London, and for a while, so does Childermass. Something is not right with the lady, but Mr Norrell won't tell him what magic he employed to bring her back from the dead. She'll be sent away somewhere where Childermass will have no chance to discover the truth. Unless of course he decides where she goes. Perhaps for instance to one whom Childermass knows will feel the Faerie winds blowing about the lady, someone who will be able to carry on the search for the truth, whether he knows that he's doing Childermass' work or not. Mr Segundus is easy to manipulate.
Childermass recommends to Sir Walter that he send his wife to Starecross in Yorkshire. How fortuitous that the master of that hall has just decided to open a madhouse there. Surely the visions that gave him the idea were entirely coincidental.
Mr Norrell and Childermass quarrel.
Jonathan Strange Returns magic to England. The Raven King returns to England and rewrites his book.
Mr Norrell and Mr Strange disappear into Faerie.
Suddenly, Childermass is the most experienced magician in England. No one has read as much, has practiced as much, or knows the spells he knows.
But he thinks that there is one man who will not be far behind him in achieving similar results. And maybe Childermass wonders sometimes if it was not all meant to be this way, that it was fate, that he himself was meant to come out on the other side as a student of the two great modern magicians of the age, and that he was meant to bring with him, sheltered under his wing, a dark, timid little man with an extraordinary sensitivity to magic. The books may be gone, but through his instruments, the Raven King has made sure that the new generation of magicians are both capable of and eager to read the magic written on the sky. It will take sensitive men, full of longing, and isn't it fortuitous then, that all those years ago, in the library at Hurtfew Abbey, Childermass recognised another like himself in John Segundus, and decided to keep half an eye on him.
#Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell#John Childermass#John Segundus#My little theory#This is based on the idea that the prophecy is actually the Raven King's plan to return magic to England#In which case Childermass must be the one Uskglass chose to spearhead the Restoration after Strange and Norrell affected the Return#We so often talk about how Segundus sees Childermass#But I am facinated by the other side of JohnSquared#Because it is interesting that Segundus was allowed to not sign the agreement when Childermass MUST HAVE KNOWN that he was the only man#in the York Society who might actually do practical magic someday#(Probably it's not as black and white as that but let's say so for our purposes here)#It certainly wasn't Norrell who agreed to let Segundus go - it was definitely Childermass' decision#And in the chapter called Starecross Childermass says “I turned a blind eye” - not “we” or “Mr Norrell” - but “I”; he's been watching#It seems to me that he is been protecting Mr Segundus from Mr Norrell for years - in little ways here and there#Mostly just by making sure Segundus didn't come to Norrell's attention#And then he expresses his regret that the school cannot be!#That's at least a halfpennyworth of pity Sir! You're not supposed to have that for adult or child!#I guess he has pity for baby birds#But they do have that thing in common (along with Vinculus) that they have an affinity for magic#But Childermass has access to the library at Hurtfew while Segundus and Vinculus only get scraps#And Childermass is allowed to do magic while the other two have to wait for the Return before they can control it#And I figure that maybe he can find in himself a little bit of pity for someone in that familiar situation#Not to mention that - being mostly a good man - Childermass is not immune - I think - to Segundus' kind and gentle nature#JohnSquared#Btw I haven't completed my current reread so apologies if I've forgotten something or gotten something wrong#You see how the details disappear towards the end :P#I also owe some of this to the Tor.com reread of JSAMN which is worth checking out for some great observations!
37 notes
·
View notes
Note
five lines meme: “the multitudinous seas incarnadine,” for bill malloy?
Bill Malloy didn’t say one way or the other whether Jimmy Lord’s promotion was permanent, only that the Caroline Anne needed a second and Burke Devlin was staring down the barrel of ten years in Shawshank. He didn’t trust the kid like he’d trusted Devlin, but it didn’t matter – Devlin would be acquitted or he wouldn’t, and then Lord would shape up, or not. A kid – Lord wasn’t a kid – had two of his own – a wife with weak lungs and a roof like a sieve. Bill scrubbed at his face like he could get rid of the long days, the years, the smell of rotting fish viscera that dogged Collinsport at all tides. A man got old in a place like this while he was chasing after other things.
Send me a character/pairing and a title to get five lines of an imaginary fic.
#ask meme#fic#my fic#polkaknox talks#do i know what crew arrangements look like on a herring boat circa 1956? lmao. no.#from: a prequel fic about bill's non-involvement in the vehicular manslaughter trial ten years before.#who else would have been a character witness for burke if not his boss? he has no living family. his fiance married his best friend.;#his other close friend took a bribe to convict him and so sam certainly wasn't going to testify convincingly in his favor?#bill's not even surprised when burke comes back. of course liz suspected what roger did. bill will do almost anything for liz. ergo.#which is to say:#hey does it make anyone else insane that bill malloy is simultaneously one of the most moral characters in early DS and;#someone who is unable to force himself to see what Liz let slide ten years before.#also. i know shawshank is fictional. i'm writing about maine. i'm allowed a king reference.#anyway ilu bill malloy! your decades-long torch for liz overriding every other positive quality gets me every. fucking. time.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
breakups are so fucking weird. three years and just like that it's gone. huh
#helix.txt#gross i ended up spilling my guts in tags. look at them fucking writhing on the floor all bloody#dont rb please#vent#to quote fall out boy i knew it was over i just didn't know the date#yeah that's it. fall out boy can fix this.#i will feel better if i go listen to bang the doldrums#and infinity on high in general#and folie a deux. folie a fucking deux how i love that album#my chem will make me better. gerard way save me#god what a weird feeling. you used to know me better than any other person but then you moved hundreds of miles away and it worked#for a while. then two years later you said it wasnt working and that this was best for both of us. guess i never got the memo for that one#hope we treat other people better because i wasn't as kind as i should have been towards the end and you were never as thoughtful or con-#-siderate as i needed towards the end. we grew apart because you're bad at keeping contact over messaging#and in some ways the cracks in the foundation that grew from that were my fault too i guess. our conversations always felt one sided#maybe i was smothering you#you could never seem to keep more than a passing recollection of the things i liked or even pay much attention to them#but i wasn't great about that either#we just became different people. you weren't what i wanted or needed and you couldn't do long distance. whatever#i know it was the right thing i just wish it hadn't made me feel so damn awful#will we still talk after this? who knows. we didn't end on bad terms but things are definitely weird#and considering your track record with people you can only talk to online i'm not optimistic#you tried to break things off initially by saying you'd said you would improve in the past with nothing to show for it#something i didn't disagree with but i said it didn't bother me much. and it didn't#but it's complicated now. i did deserve better. but you made it clear i'm not getting it from you#you weren't as present or thoughtful as i needed#i wasn't there in person the way you needed and certainly not as considerate as i should have been. and for that second part i'm truly sorr#anyways. sorry. i'd been thinking about it for a long time anyway. i didn't want to admit it because i didn't like to think#about what it might bring. maybe i should have been braver#right. that's enough
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
So Reylos are now freaking out over episode 4 of Ahsoka cause Anakin showed up in what appears to be the wbw. I have not watched Ahsoka and don't plan to. I personally think that nothing will come out of this in regards to Ben Solos return. People think Leia sacrificed herself to send Ben there? If she sacrificed herself to save him then he wouldn't have gone anywhere he would have been alive.
Anyone who thinks there was planning or thought behind anything in tros is delusional.
Thinking they're setting up Ben's resurrection is almost as removed from reality.
#as I said years ago his return in some form is inevitable#ie: more content using the character- almost certainly exclusively in the mask and doing meaningless completely OOC villain antics#and obviously not live-action- cartoons comics books etc.#that will fuck up the timeline and make no sense#but the likelihood of Ben being resurrected and his story actually continuing forward is infinitesimal#they have made their bed and they have made clear their intention to lie in it#piss-soaked sheets and burning pillow notwithstanding#this is about finding an excuse to use HC in their show for fanservice and buzz#and that's as deep as it goes#I wouldn't watch any of this shit if you paid me but does this not destroy the ending of RotJ even more than it already was by implying#Anakin is not in a state of peace or really dead or ascended to nirvana?#he was one with the Force he should not be in any kind of purgatory or transitional dimension or whatever#but I suppose there is absolutely nothing scared and they've already shit all over everything that ending was about so why not#let's just go for the final insult and say Anakin's redemption wasn't real and he wasn't accepted into the afterlife#why let any Skywalker have anything#not one of them can have ever accomplished even he most hollow of victories#somehow we have to give THIS to Rey too#she time travelled and forced him to save Luke#NOT THAT I'M BITTER
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
[Edward IV] had two healthy young sons and died peacefully, in the belief that, with his enemies dead or compromised and his family loyalties assured, they would survive to adulthood, securing the future of the House of York. That this proved not to be the case should add a note of pathos to his history which has, in fact, been conspicuously absent.
Andrew Robert Whittle, “The Historical Reputation of Edward IV 1461-1725”
#edward iv#my post#I think that historians who compress or diminish Edward's reign by narrativizing the WotR#(or viewing the renewal of conflict in 1483 as inevitable when it wasn't and certainly wasn't viewed that way at the time)#really miss the significance of this and the impact it would have had on contemporaries#It's like Horrox said: 'Even more fundamental was the perception that it had been Richard who after the stability of Edward IV's last years#had triggered the return to political conflict for what could be essentially seen as selfish reasons'#And it's really tragic because Edward IV seems to have really trusted his brother#(Elizabeth Woodville seems to have also trusted her brother-in-law)#Only for his brother to betray and destroy his family in an unprecedented way
49 notes
·
View notes
Note
aro culture is taylor swift's midnight rain
.
#Anonymous#aro culture is#aro#aromantic#actually aro#actually aromantic#ask#mod phoenix#ngl folks i am. very very much not a swiftie (swifty? idk)#even if i had liked her to begin with#having to learn calculus with her in the background every tuesday for two years of high school#often with a migraine because No One Told Me Regular Intense Headaches Weren't Normal#(and therefore i wasn't doing anything to prevent or really even treat them)#(did not know they were migraines even)#i certainly did not fucking like her by the end of that#does remind me though - that calc teacher had never ever had a headache in his life#and his concern when i had one of the worse migraines of that part of my life was honestly pretty cute#he was... not exactly good at being compassionate or caring for all that he did trpy#and like. this poor man genuinely wanted so badly to be able to respond to anyone suffering but like. if this were a D20 roll.#the highest i saw him roll in 2 years of having him as a teacher was like. a 10. and that was at best twice.#but anyways#i had a terrible migraine. i was also the only person in class who'd done the homework that particular night and therefore the only one#who understood his problem of the day (how we started class)#which was almost always an unusually hard application of the previous day's work that guided us to the next concept#we were given something like 15 minutes to solve them as a class#and i hazily solved it and immediately laid my head on my notebook because light sensitivity is terrible#he did his usual attempts at being motivational (shouting 'come on! you guys should know how to do this!' and such)#(again. he genuinely felt that was motivating and we knew he was *trying* to be encouraging despite the uh. phrasing)#and i just. fuckin cracked one eye open. rotated my head. looked at him. whispered the answers. and went back to dying on my notebook#he responded by going startlingly quiet (his normal volume was LOUD. he had no volume control)
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
Also wasn't the 2020 election so miserable with how we were all waiting for results for literal fucking days??? Oh my God...
#the suspense was agonizing#bc of the mail-in ballots taking so long#bc of the goddamn pandemic...#also aren't we all glad that trump wasn't in office when it was time to execute vaccine rollouts?#(sighs wistfully) yeah...#we literally weren't even vaxxed when we went to vote that cycle. literally crazy to think about#i almost can't believe we'll like almost certainly know by wednesday morning#like how elections should be!!!#idk how to feel bc the suspense gradually led to hope last time#but in 2016 i literally went to bed expecting everything to be fine and woke up at like 2am to see trump had won#nothing in my life could ever compare to the shock and dread i felt after that#tales from diana#and if i have to repeat that shock and dread now i have no idea what effect it'll have on me#i keep thinking of everything i can do to brace for the worst#to console myself in case this goes sideways again#and i keep thinking well maybe it won't hit as hard as it did for me 8 years ago...#but what if it does? i literally can't anticipate it#not that my feelings are what matters here obviously#but w something so consequential to the world and life as we know it. yeah ive got strong fuckin feelings#i don't wanna emotionally shut down in despair of how bad i expect a second trump term to be. and that's my personal fear#despair is inactionable but it is so so human and i want to be able to serve my community#to dare to hope for a better world!#hope is what's actionable especially if it dares to hope in the face of grim realities#but i know my hope is very fragile so i have to adapt either way#withdrawing from political action is never an option. so we all better vote the right way so i dont become useless#a traitor to myself
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Had WhatsApp open on this phone since I was waiting for a reply from my dad, as I mentioned earlier (I literally never open it otherwise) and I saw my pfp and remembered this really funny call I had around my birthday.
I got a lot of birthday wishes on WhatsApp, but a combination of it being my move in week to uni + me never opening WhatsApp and being bad at replying meant I never responded to most of them. I did take one phone call from an aunt tho, which went nice and fine until she asked me who the character in my pfp was.
Folks. I had changed my pfp a couple months beforehand for Pride Month. It was Astolfo.
I spent the next 5 minutes trying to dodge the question, saved by my cousin (wrongly) thinking she knew who it was. She thought my pfp was Anya, and while I assured her she was wrong, I provided no answer myself. I did not want to give her a name to look up, and thankfully I got away without having to do so.
This was extra funny because friends who did know who Astolfo was (and a bit about my whole deal with liking femboys) were like "Don't you think your parents might recognize your pfp and realize a few things?" Obviously I thought not, because my parents know jack shit about anime on account of knowing jack shit about any of my interests, but I did not expect any of my (adult) relatives to have even some passing knowledge of it, given the one uncle who did like anime became a pastor.
#unma rambles#my about is “That one yandere lover.” and has been for a couple years at this point#if my parents don't know what that is they almost certainly wouldnt know who Astolfo is#also this would not be a problem if my family wasn't homophobic in general#you can call me out (rightfully) but being so reckless but in my defence it was funny at the time#Abyss (who I also talk to on WhatsApp sometimes) had the biggest sigh upon realizing I'd changed my pfp on WhatsApp too#(my pfp on Discord was a buncha Astolfo art changing somewhat often during the month)#it was pretty funny#also yes my pfp is still Astolfo#can't be bothered to change it
2 notes
·
View notes