#it was a whirlwind and sometimes a fight but having all these amazing and wonderful people in our corner made it possible

[sidekick-hero]

Suitcase of Memories

Authors: @legitcookie and @sidekick-hero l Artist: @luna-fortunaa l Artist: @maikaartwork | Beta: @acasualcrossfade | Beta and amazing cheerleader: @yournowheregirl

ART 1 | ART 2 | FIC

In a bygone era, two men overcome all societal norms and find an instant, powerful connection that defies all odds. Their secret love blossoms in the shadows, forming an unbreakable bond. However, fate eventually intervenes, cruelly tearing them apart. Fast forward to the present day, Steve awakens from a startling dream that feels surprisingly real, like he was really there. The memory of it haunts his every waking moment, making him question if he somehow recognizes the mysterious, curly-haired stranger playing his guitar at a street-corner, although they have never met before. Steve continues to cross paths with this enigmatic figure, Eddie, until they surrender to fate and their instant attraction. As their relationship deepens, Steve's dreams become increasingly vivid, detailed, and intense, leaving him with an uncanny sense of familiarity. They also strangely reflect the growing romance and struggles of his newfound relationship. Is it all just a coincidence, or is there a deeper connection that defies the boundaries of time and fate?

Read more under the cut for another sneak preview of Chapter 1!

"How was the rush?" he asks Robin absentmindedly as he goes about cleaning the machines and the counter. There's a dreamy smile on his face, the image of a man playing his guitar and humming softly to himself in his mind's eye.

"Eh, not bad, but - why are you smiling?" Robin immediately catches it, and Steve tries to wipe it off his face for plausible deniability.

"I'm not smiling."

"I have eyes, Dingus. What's up? Did Lisa call you?" Steve looks at Robin, at a loss, before the proverbial light bulb turns on and he just stops himself from snapping his fingers. Right, Lisa.

"Nah, I texted her, but she didn't text me back," he says with a shrug, not really caring. She was boring and self-absorbed anyway, there was no chemistry between them. Not like he thought he had with —

Robin's eyebrows shoot up in surprise at his obvious disinterest, and he knows there's no point in playing dumb. He's been dying to tell Robin all weekend, and here's the perfect opportunity. "I just met someone. Sort of."

This isn't really anything new, Steve meets someone almost every week, but Robin still makes a gimme gimme gesture at him. "Details, please. Drown out the tragedy that is my love life."

Steve snorts. "It's not that big of a deal. He was playing guitar on the corner near my bus stop, and I just... met him." Saying it like that makes it seem so insignificant when it felt anything but.

"What's his name?"

"I don't know."

"So you didn't actually meet him."

"Technically. But it was weird, Robin, he seemed so familiar. Like I've met him before. I even asked him about it, but he said no. Just gave me a line, like I'd be hard to forget."

"It wasn't a line," comes a voice from the customer's side of the table. Steve whips his head around to find his mystery man standing there with a grin on his handsome face. Steve gawks at him and the man adds, "Okay, maybe it was a line."

"Oh, fuck - I mean, shit - hi." He wants to punch himself, hard. Smooth. So fucking smooth. The floor never opens and swallows you when you need it most.

The man cackles with glee and Steve turns even redder, quickly approaching scarlet.

"What can we get you?" Robin the Saint cuts in before he can put his foot in his mouth any more than he already did, nudging Steve in the side to put on his best customer service smile.

"Uh," Cute Guitar Guy begins, his eyes darting up to the menu and scanning it quickly. "Whatever's sweet enough to cause instant cavities."

"You're not on the menu, Stevie," Robin whispers in Steve's ear, laughter obvious in her tone, and Steve elbows her gently. He wouldn't mind being on the menu for this particular customer.

"A mocha with an extra pump sound good?" Robin asks, already grabbing a cup, marker in hand.

"Yeah, that sounds good," the guy replies absentmindedly, his eyes never leaving Steve's. As their gazes lock, Steve has to suppress the shiver that wants to run through his body as the current of electricity hits him again. He can feel it crackling under his skin and wonders if the man in front of him can feel it too.

He hopes he can.

Undeterred by both of their obvious distraction, Robin continues with her customer scheme. "Name?"

Cute Guitar Guy’s eyes stay on Steve as he replies with a sudden weight in his voice, "Eddie," before remembering his manners and giving Robin a kind, sincere smile.

Robin moves away from the counter to start working on the drink, sending a sly smile in Steve's direction as he continues to just stand there looking at Eddie. He's sure she's going to make fun of him later.

"I'm Steve," he tells the guy, desperate to say something, anything.

"I see," Eddie says, pointing to Steve's nametag, and Steve feels like smacking himself again. Fortunately, Eddie seems more charmed than appalled by his inability to carry on a conversation like a normal human being. "I suppose it would be stupid to use another line like 'You come here often?'" Eddie asks, smiling widely at him, and Steve's knees weaken at the sight, wanting to trace that smile with his tongue, especially the newly formed dimples.

Steve huffs a laugh. "You still could. Maybe it’d make you stop by more often if I told you I do?”

“Oh, you can count on that, Steve.”

They grin at each other and Steve thinks that he would take a hundred more fucked up days like Friday if they led to something like this. The thought reminds him to ask, "Is that your regular spot? Playing at the corner?"

Leaning closer to Steve, Eddie rests both elbows on the counter. "What if it is?"

"Then I might have to skip the bus more often," Steve says, mimicking his stance.

He hears Robin snort behind him, but chooses to ignore her in favor of looking at Eddie, who has just pulled out his wallet to pay for the drink. Steve puts his hand on the one holding the wallet and feels another crackle under his skin. "On the house."

Eddie raises an eyebrow at him, but his eyes dance with mischievous delight. "And do all of your first time customers get this kind of special treatment from you?"

Go big or go home, Steve thinks as he leans even closer to Eddie. "Nah," he says looking up at him from under his lashes, "Only the really cute ones."

The smile on Eddie's face softens, the mischief replaced by something more genuine, more real. He pulls a strand of his hair over his mouth to hide it, but it's too late, because Steve knows he's going to fall asleep tonight with that smile on his mind.

Eddie opens his wallet, pulls out a $5 bill and puts it in the tip jar. Steve wonders if it's the same one he put in Eddie's guitar case the other night. "Thanks, Stevie."

The nickname makes Steve smile, liking the easy way Eddie creates a feeling of familiarity between them. He's not sure if Eddie is thanking him for the free coffee or the compliment, but either way his answer would be the same. "Anytime."

They continue to lean on the counter, staring at each other as if the rest of the world has ceased to exist, before a customer behind Eddie clears his throat loudly, startling them both. "Are you two done? I'd like my coffee today, please."

Rolling his eyes, Eddie steps aside and waves his arm in a sweeping gesture at the disgruntled customer.

"After you," he says in an exaggerated voice and gives Steve a wink before walking over to the pickup counter to wait for his drink. Just then, more and more customers begin to pour in, the lunch rush in full swing, and Steve moves to take their orders, help Robin prepare drinks, and hand out snacks and baked goods. He tries to keep an eye on Eddie to see if he's still there, but after a particularly large order from a group, Steve is distracted long enough that when he looks back, Eddie is gone.

His face must show his disappointment because Robin puts a gentle hand on Steve's back and says, "Eddie asked me to tell you goodbye. He really had to go, but he looked just as bummed out about it as you do.”

That's at least something, but Steve still feels deflated. He didn't even get his number.

[hazelira]

through the storm

The backstage area was buzzing with activity as the members of ENHYPEN prepared for their next performance. Ni-ki stood before a mirror, adjusting his costume, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts. Lately, the weight of the world seemed to rest on his shoulders. Despite giving his all, he was constantly blamed and criticized. The hate felt overwhelming sometimes, but he kept going, driven by his love for the fans. He took a deep breath, trying to push the negativity aside. "You can do this," he whispered, forcing a smile. "For the fans."

(Flashback) 

"Ni-ki, you're amazing," Y/N, an ENGENE, had said to him during a fan sign event. "You work so hard, and we appreciate everything you do." Those words had stayed with him, a beacon of light in the darkness. But they were often drowned out by the harsh criticism and hate he received online. He wanted to love and be loved by his fans and ENGENES, to give them his all. But it felt like he always fell short, no matter how hard he tried.

(Present) The performance went off without a hitch, the crowd's cheers echoing in Ni-ki's ears as he left the stage. He retreated to his dressing room, feeling the familiar ache of doubt creeping in. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through social media. The messages were a mix of love and hate, but the negative ones seemed to scream the loudest. "Why is he even in the group?" "He's always messing up." "He doesn't deserve to be here." Ni-ki's heart sank as he read the comments. He wanted to reply and defend himself, but he knew it would only worsen things. Instead, he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He couldn't let the hate consume him.

(Later That Night) Back at the dorm, Ni-ki sat alone on the balcony, the city lights twinkling in the distance. The other members were inside, unwinding after the show. He felt lonely despite being surrounded by people who cared about him. "Why do I keep doing this?" he wondered aloud, staring at the night sky. "Why do I keep trying when it feels like no one cares?" But deep down, he knew the answer. He did it for the ENGENES who believed in him, saw past the negativity and loved him for who he was. He did it for the moments when an ENGENE's smile or kind words made everything worthwhile.

(Flashback) "Ni-ki, you inspire me," ENGENE had said during another fan event. "Your determination and passion make me want to work harder too." Those words had been a lifeline, a reminder that he wasn't alone. And even now, as he struggled with the weight of the hate, he clung to those moments of genuine connection.

(Present) The sound of the balcony door opening pulled  Ni-ki from his thoughts. He turned to see ENGENES standing there, a look of concern on their face. "Ni-ki, are you okay?" they asked softly, stepping closer. He forced a smile, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just... thinking." ENGENE sat beside him, their presence a comforting warmth in the cool night air. "I know it's hard dealing with all the negativity. But you have to remember that so many of us love and support you. We see how hard you work and appreciate everything you do." Tears welled up in Ni-ki's eyes, but he blinked them back, not wanting to appear weak. "Thank you," he whispered, his voice breaking. "It means a lot." ENGENE reached out, taking his hand in theirs. "You're not alone, Ni-ki. And you're not to blame for everything that goes wrong. You're doing your best, and that's all anyone can ask for." For the first time in a long while, Ni-ki felt a sense of relief. The weight on his shoulders lightened if only just a little. He squeezed ENGENE's hand, a silent promise to keep going and fighting for the fans who believed in him.

(Days Later) The next performance felt different. As Ni-ki stood on stage, he could see ENGENE in the crowd, their smile a beacon of encouragement. He poured his heart into the performance, feeling renewed purpose. The cheers of the fans and ENGENES, the love in their eyes, reminded him why he kept going. As the final notes rang out and the crowd erupted into applause, Ni-ki felt warmth. He wasn't just doing this for the fans and ENGENES; he was doing it for himself, the love and passion he had for performing.

(After the Show) Back in the dressing room, Ni-ki found a note in his bag. It was from ENGENE, written in their familiar handwriting. "Ni-ki, thank you for everything. You are loved, you are appreciated, and you are enough. Keep shining." He held the note close to his heart, a smile breaking through the tears. He would keep going, not just for the fans and ENGENES, but for himself. Because he was worth it, and he deserved to love and be loved, no matter what. "Thank you, ENGENE," he thought, feeling a sense of peace over him. "I will keep shining." And with that, Ni-ki knew he could face whatever came his way because he had love in his heart, more potent than any hate.

[missamyshay]

You don't even have to post this but I was the person who maybe 6 (or more) months ago told you about the possibility of ATH: the outtakes. A few years ago, I was into this one movie (a chick flick set in HS) and a wonderful writer created a whole future for these two characters when the movie ended. She sent them to college, broke them up, had them date different people and then reunited them in the most beautiful and amazing way. Like Across the Hall, that story had a lot of followers and, just like you, that writer, really felt for the version of those characters she had created but couldn't see herself ever writing another full 30 chapter story again. But she did these short one-shots. Not connected between each other time-wise, with time lapses. From time to time, without agenda or spectations she would post random one-shots, little stories about these couple. How he proposed, their wedding night, how she told him she was pregnant, the day of the delivery, their first fight and make up. And it was so sweet. It was like visiting good friends, checking in on them, knowing what they'd been up to. So, yeah, if you ever feel inclined, please post the ATH: outtakes. I really wanna know how MJ and Peter celebrated their wedding or if Gwen finally proposed to Harry. Or just random idle Tuesdays stories too. Always loved ATH and I visit that story often. The chapter where he does that origami dahlia for her on Valentines Day has to be the softest chapter ever, I also remember CRYING in that chapter where she tells him he has to promise not to pursue her anymore. A wild ride, heatbreaking sometimes too.

But yeah, that group still lives in my heart. I hope they are all doing alright.

Firstly, hi! I remember you! And I remember that very sweet message, and I want to let you know that it definitely inspired me to create the ‘outtakes’ doc, so thank you!

This is so lovely and heartwarming. Thanks for taking the time to share it with me. I’m so happy that the group still lives in your heart. I have it on good authority that they’re all doing really well—Ned might just have found himself another whirlwind romance, Betty and her gf are still going strong, Harry is unsure whether Gwen asked him to get married (they’re still working it out), MJ is writing her second book, and she and Peter are having the most fun being aunt and uncle to two adorable kids that they can give back whenever they want. 😂

Seriously though, this means a lot. And I can’t wait to share some little tidbits with you here and there ❤️

[iamzua]

8 Years Later:

Dear Me,

Today is Monday November 25, 2024. Time: 5:52pm

It’s crazy to think it’s been eight years since I last wrote here. Life has passed by so quickly, and so much has changed. Whether it’s for better or worse, I’m honestly not sure. One thing that has stayed consistent, though, is that I’m still single. 😉

Ah, love. To love and be loved—what a complicated, beautiful, and sometimes heartbreaking journey. I often find myself wondering: Am I the problem? Am I too picky? Am I attracting the wrong people? It’s a hard truth to face. Sometimes, it feels like I build people up only for them to leave me. It’s a pattern I’ve come to terms with in some ways, yet still fight against in others. Love feels so powerful, but whose definition am I holding onto?

I sometimes question whether my purpose is less about finding love for myself and more about showing others that they are worthy of love—whether it’s self-love or the love they hope to receive from others. Ironically, I also feel like I should be the last person giving any advice. After all, I don’t even have my own life fully together.

Lately, though, I’ve been thinking about coming back to writing. It’s something I once loved. I used to write on Asian Avenue, Xanga, MySpace, Facebook—and now, in some small way, I write captions for my Instagram posts. But today, I woke up and asked myself: Why did you stop writing?

I’ve always been a reflector, someone who loves to look back on old pictures, relive memories, and see how far I’ve come. Writing was a way for me to process life, to capture the moments that mattered, and to give myself space to think. So, why did I stop? Who knows. There’s no rhyme or reason to what I write—it just flows. I sit here in my room, surrounded by quiet and stillness, letting my brain and hands take over. No pun intended. 😂

Now, let’s talk about 2024. This year has been a whirlwind of emotions. In June, I started using TikTok, and by August, I had enough followers to go live. Going live has been an experience—a mix of meeting amazing friends and, of course, encountering some fakes. But it taught me too, that people aren’t who they portray to be. But I have since stoped and re-shifted my focus on school.

It’s been a ride, and I’m realizing that writing helps me make sense of it all. So, here I am again, picking up where I left off and putting my thoughts into words. Who knows where this will take me, but it feels good to be back. Even if this is just one post until the next 8 years. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anywho—I will be graduating with my BSN on Sunday, 12/15/24, which is just over two weeks away. I can’t believe this moment is finally here. It’s a mix of emotions—happiness, pride, and a touch of sadness. On one hand, I know I deserve this because I’ve worked so hard for it. On the other hand, it feels surreal, as if I’m proving a lifetime of self-doubt wrong.

For much of my life, I’ve felt like a failure, reaching this milestone is a reminder that I am capable of so much more than I once believed. It’s a bittersweet realization, but one that fills me with gratitude.

A friend of mine, Andy (AJI) has been part of my inspiration to start writing again. He, along with several of my instructors, has told me I’m a good writer, which is something I’ve doubted—(still do) but am trying to believe. Andy said something to me recently that really resonated: “You are standing in your own way.” Hearing those words out loud stopped me in my tracks.

Since then, I’ve been having flash backs on all the times I doubted myself, all the moments I thought I couldn’t do something or fear that I may fail—and yet, here I am. Still trying. Still proving that, despite how long it’s taken, I haven’t given up. This journey has been anything but linear, but it’s mine, and I’m proud of how far I’ve come, even if it’s hard to accept.

What a triumph.

Anywho. I guess that’s it. 🤭

[beneathashadytree]

Hi! i hope you're having a good day <3 your Reiner fanfic appeared on my tl and I want to say it was AMAZING fr, but u made me hate Karina a little more (if that possible lmao)

And u made me think now that we are talking about the warriors, can u try to write a zeke fanfic where he falls in love with a Paradise devil and takes them to Marley after the Shinganshina fight? Feel free to ignore and thanks ^^

(2/2) OH OH and please if u take my request the reader has to be an Ackerman, maybe Levi's cousin if u want.

THANKS ❤

SEALED - ZEKE YEAGER X READER

Warnings : implications of sex but nothing is mentioned, some descriptions of bodily harm (kudos to Levi of course), this is not proof-read at all, reader is gender-neutral!

Genre : fluff ig? Idk really

Word count : 4.4K words

Synopsis : Zeke's curiosity has no ends, and it's the reason why he has a whirlwind love story.

Additional notes : I am so so sorry, as you might've seen me post about last week I've been swamped with work ever since you sent in your request, so I haven't been able to write much. I apologize in advance, since I'm not that familiar with Zeke's personality in comparison to Levi's for example, so it might be a little OOC. I hope you enjoy reading it though, and I'd love to hear your feedback!

Requests : Are open! Check the rules over here.

Want to support me financially? Here’s my CashApp!

Masterlist

When he met them, it wasn't Zeke's first visit to the proclaimed infamous island of devils, but it certainly was the most remarkable.

The first time he'd been to Paradise Island was, as expected of the Wonder Boy Marley had claimed their own, part of a mission he'd been given. He was told to go inspect the environment and the way they lived, to try his best and figure out the best course of action so he could carry out the titan experiments the military asks of him without drawing the Eldians' attention to the issue at hand.

He'd given it thought for a bit, before coming to the conclusion that the safest option would be to scout the outermost villages; the ones least likely to cause a commotion should a problem arise, and that was why he currently found himself trekking the dirt road that cut through the lands between the walls the island dwellers called Rose and Maria (he wondered what their namesake was; he'd make sure to ask sometime later on).

Once he'd hopped off the trusty horse he'd been riding day in day out since the ship had landed on the shore, he found himself standing in front of a wooden archway that seemed to announce his entrance into the boundaries of a rather neat village. Run-down as it looked in comparison to the bustling Marleyan cities bursting at the seams with the population and progressing technology, the village looked like it was flourishing just fine with the isolation.

"Wish I had some sort of translation book on me," he murmured to himself, pushing his spectacles up on his nose as he squinted, trying his best to read the lines he vaguely discerned as letters that resembled that of the Marleyan alphabet.

It took him a couple of seconds, but he was finally able to pronounce the name,"Ragako Village," with a hum, before tying his horse to the nearest post in an attempt to be as inauspicious as possible---something helped by the fact that he'd been dressed in simpler and far more muted attire than the usual military get-up.

Taking his time to eye the orderly stables as the caretakers shushed neighing horses, watching as little kids that barely reached his knees fought over who was to take the biggest loaf of bread, and almost tripping over a man who seemed perfectly content with sitting down in the middle of the road to tug at the weeds as he hummed a soothing tune, nothing about this village seemed out of the ordinary or even made it stand out at all to Zeke. In fact, if he hadn't stumbled across the ruins, he would've probably initiated his plans without so much a second glance. And yet here he was, head cocked to the side as he looked at the remains of what resembled a chapel with interest.

Hand on his chin, he stepped closer, softly saying to himself, "Odd, I thought the religious sects were behind wall Sina..."

Before he could step inside the half-destroyed chapel with curious eyes, he was stopped by a sharp voice.

"Unauthorized personnel are not allowed to enter. Please refrain from breaking the law when you're clearly not from Ragako."

As they sighed, he turned to see a person clad in proper attire that didn't seem to fit the atmosphere of the village in the least. Without sparing Zeke a glance, they crossed the threshold and began to make their way inside, earning an arched brow from the blonde.

"You're one to talk. You stick out like a sore thumb, and that's delicately put," with a pointed look, he watched as they scoffed, before tugging a small piece of paper from the bag they carried over their shoulder.

"As a matter of fact, I do have permission," they said, eyes not unkind but seemingly rather empty, "I am a journalist, after all."

A look of surprise on his face, he tried to look for anyone in the vicinty, "Where's your cameraman then?"

Frowning, they sounded confused, "Excuse me?"

Quickly catching onto the fact that this was probably one of the things the island was ignorant to the existence of, he shook his head, "Nothing, nothing," with what looked a bit like a longing look, he gave the ruins another once over, "I'll be off then."

Before he could lament his inability to inspect the glass windows up close, the journalist in front of him stepped forward, hesitating a moment and then speaking up, "If you would like that, I could have my piece directly sent to your place as soon as it's published."

Smiling, he only waved them off, "I'll see your editor once he has it done. I really can't wait that long."

"Traveling?" they asked politely, eyeing his odd lack of carry-ons, and he nodded in reply, to which they simply pulled what looked like a business card out of their pocket and handing it over to him, "You'll find the details of my editor and publisher over here. It should be ready in two days."

Another mildly shocked expression crossed Zeke's face, "Impressive. Thank you, anyways," and before they could give him a reply, he was already stuffing the card in his coat pockets, turning away to make his way back to where his horse was waiting obediently, cooing as he brushed her glossy mane, "I suppose we'll have to make it to wall Sina in just under two days, won't we, Betty?"

***

"Well, this certainly wasn't what I expected," Zeke chuckled two days later, a certain lilt in his voice as he admired the tattered badges and sashes in the glass cabinets littering the four walls of the room, "I had something else in mind when you mentioned that the editorial room was designed to your taste."

"My taste is to pride my family name without being targetted," they shrugged, picking up the steaming teacup from the table as their guest stepped closer to the glass, pushing his spectacles upwards to have a clearer view in order to try and make a head or tail out of the prized posessions.

"Pardon my asking, but what are these?" he asked, curiously eyeing every artifact, "They look rather old."

"They're from the first Ackermans that served under the king directly," pausing as they sipped at their tea, a smirk formed on their lips, "If anything, they're the reason why I've lived for so long."

Arching his eyebrow at her comment, he wanted to inquire further in that direction, but chose a tamer question, "How are you related to them?"

"My father was an Ackerman," setting the teacup down, they stood up to join the blonde man, "Haven't the slightest idea where he is now, though, and there's no point in trying to fish him out," with a shake of their head, they sighed, "The name's been sullied one too many times, and now most Ackermans with any common sense are in hiding."

This only served to pique Zeke's curiosity; he'd be a liar if he claimed that he didn't want to know just how much the journalist knew about the King and what he'd done; of their true heritage; if the Ackermans played any role in this play the King had constructed a hundred years ago. But, knowing all too well the risks, he once again remained quiet about his thoughts.

"Why aren't you in hiding?"

"No point in it, I will be hunted down either ways," they chuckled lightly, and it sounded oddly pleasant to Zeke, who'd grown so accustomed to barked orders and stiff talk that hearing something so lighthearted in comparison caught him off guard, "Being a journalist means that I'm not exactly loved, because I don't always serve what the public wants to hear."

"Controversial, I see," he couldn't control the grin making its way on his face and the way he was making it so blatantly obvious that he was hanging on to their every word.

"That's one way to put it, yes," guiding him across the room, he looked on in awe at the multiple trophies in the cabinets, before his attention went back to their words when they spoke again, "It really does seem like being hated on is an Ackerman thing, though."

Surprised, Zeke snapped his head back to look at them, "You mean you have siblings?"

Shaking their head, they slumped back into the large chair at one end of the small table, an open invitation for Zeke to sit once more, "No, none, but I do have a cousin. His mother was my father's sister."

"Does he work as some sort of public figure then?"

Pausing, they laughed, and Zeke could feel the flush forming on his cheeks at the delicate sound, "He shouldn't be, considering his position and abrasiveness, but he is. He's the captain of the scouting legion in the military."

"Must have a lot of fans, then, if he's anywhere near as magnetic as you are," the wonder boy rested his chin on his palm, probably not having realized just how flirtatious his words came off as being.

But really, considering the laidback expression on their expression, it seemed that neither of them minded the saccharine words.

Finger tracing the rim of the cup, they nodded towards the paper in front of Zeke, their lazy smirk not letting up as they pushed the article with the words 'chapel' and 'Ragako' in the title towards him, "Tell me if it meets your expectations of me over chamomile tea next time."

***

Half a week had passed before Zeke had the opportunity to speak to them again, considering the fact that he had to carry out some orders that had been given to him from the homeland. Loitering around was good fun and all, but he couldn't forget the real reason he was on this island he pitied so much in the first place.

This time, when he knocked on the door to the editorial room, he was tugged away to their own quaint little house, with the excuse that 'they were out of tea here', which seemed viable enough of an excuse to him---but he had to admit, he was rather flustered by the fact that they seemed to want him around just as much as he wanted to get to know them on a more personal level.

Pouring the warm tea with the soothing scent wafting from the cups, they watched as Zeke absentmindedly stroked his beard on the couch, a calculating look in his eyes as he tried to decipher the meaning behind this invitation, not wanting to get ahead of himself and misreading their intentions.

"Is this about the paper?" he asked, before arching his eyebrow, "If it is, I hope you know you most certainly surpassed any expectations I had for you. It was riveting to read."

With a mysterious smile, they took a seat beside him on the couch, leaving only a few inches of space between them, leaning against the armrest as they met his piercing grey gaze with an equally trained look, hovering between being enticing and looking pleased, "As flattered as I am to hear that, what if I wasn't going to ask about that?"

For some reason, their soft voice was as calming as the tea he'd just sipped on, bringing about a very similar warmth too. Hoping he wasn't wrong in assuming that their intentions truly were what he had believed they were to be, he leaned in closer, cheek pressed into his palm as he decided to play along.

"Really?" with a chuckle, he gave an inviting smile, "Then what would you want of a mere traveler?"

They were so much closer now, their features much more defined and their perfume all the more captivating when they were in such close proximity to him, and Zeke couldn't bring himself to look away when their plump lips spoke again, "Whatever you have to offer."

Pressing his thighs to theirs as they were now sidled against each other on the couch, he could count every blemish on their face if he want to---only he couldn't break their eye contact; not even if he wanted to.

"I'll be gone in a few days though," he was much quieter now, words heavy in the air, "And you don't even know anything about me," their index finger delicately drew shapes on the muscle of his thigh, and he had to hold back the shiver he wanted to let loose at the contact.

"I'll just have to wait for your return then," they grinned, something akin to mischief painting their face, "And I'll learn whatever you want me to know."

He could only hum in agreement, as though signing an unspoken contract, before he closed the gap between their lips.

Sweet, was all he could think they tasted.

***

True to his word, he disappeared on them little more than a week after they started their daily escapades. He didn't know what had him so reluctant to leave---the fact that he might never come back? The feel of their skin against his, warm and throbbing with every time they entwined? Or the way that he---for once in his literally damned life---truly felt alive with someone who wanted to hear more about him? For whatever reason it was, Zeke found himself wanting to go back as soon as he'd left.

The opportunity presented itself to him when---a few years after having watched their tiny world get reduced to little more than ashes as according to the plan Captain Magath had set for the four youngest Marleyan warriors---he was sent back to the very same village he'd first stumbled upon them and the first place they'd bewitched him. If he hadn't known better, he would've believed that they truly were a devil in that aspect.

Still, Zeke knew he couldn't defy the orders given to him just to frolick. Pieck had long noticed his distraction, as he silently prayed to whatever deity that they wouldn't be on some sort of excursion within the vicinity, because that would only spell trouble for him.

"War chief Zeke, it's time," her hoarse voice was almost unrecognizable, and she could only snap him out of his daze when he'd double-checked that their horse was nowhere in sight, "We have to start the operation before they catch onto us."

Nodding his head, he indicated the spots where the Marleyan soldiers were to place their gas cannisters, "Think we have enough of my spinal fluid in this? It's pointless if it isn't concentrated enough. My powers can only do so much."

A hollow sound that resembled a laugh came from her titan form, "No need to be humble, you are our wonder boy, after all."

Thanking her politely, he waited until all the gadgets were set up in the exact same locations he'd marked and every single cannister was spraying the volatile gas into a thick wall of smoke that drifted to spread over the vilage.

Glancing towards Pieck, who did her best to nod in that form, he broke into a sprint, roaring into the fields and pathways filled with paralyzed bodies. In an almost apocalyptic scene, the blinding yellow light served as nothing but a mere warning, before the still bodies turned into hulking titans that towered over Zeke, who must've looked ridiculous amongst their huge forms that cast shadows over the remains of the entire village.

Before he could hop onto the horse, he gave Ragako one final sympathetic look, "They were doomed from the start," with a tired sigh, he turned to the cart titan, "Let's go, Pieck. We've done our part."

Having to wait for the ship to come pick them up meant that the two warriors had a few days to spend doing whatever pleased them. Pieck told him she'll be looking for good books to buy with the allowance she'd been given, and he'd bid her off with the promise of meeting at the dock by the end of the week. Though she seemed curious enough, she didn't ask him the questions he knew she wanted to ask, and he was rather thankful for that because he doubted he would've been able to give her a truthful answer.

Without any further questioning, he found himself knocking on the door of the place he hadn't seen in so many years. Part of him dreaded what he'd see on the other side, wondering if the new garden in the front was the idea of someone else he'd yet to be acquainted with; someone who'd taken his place when he'd only served as a whirlwind affair.

But none of that happened. The door had swung open, and all he'd seen was a slightly more barren house that belonged to a slightly more worn-down person. Zeke found himself at a loss, not knowing if he belonged there anymore when everything was---at the end of the day---technically all his fault. He was a criminal, and to this day they hadn't the slightest idea just how much he'd sinned; just how much he'd wrecked the place they'd called home and yet still invited himself over.

His train of thought was interrupted by that somewhat cynical smile that had sent his feelings into disarray dozens of times before, "You took your sweet time coming back," and with that, they pulled him inside once more.

With a glance around, he noticed the piles of papers scattered around the room, "You've been busy, I see."

Sighing in exhaustion, they pushed aside some of the half-scribbled documents, "Sometimes, Levi asks for favors from the press in favor of the scouts. It's not easy for them now."

He joined them on the couch he remembered vaguely to have spent their first night on, "It'll be even harder after today."

Confusion laced their voice, "How do you know that?"

Leaning in, he knew that if there was any hope in pursuing something with them, then he had a lot to explain.

"Do you still want to learn more about who I am?"

***

This time, he didn't know whether to feel pride at the angry red scratches at his back or to feel ashamed by them---and it had nothing to do with the fact that he was lost in the arms of an Eldian (after all, he wouldn't be lying if he said he'd never given a damn about that, only wishing to provide solutions without resorting to blind hatred). With his cigar dangling lazily between his teeth, he didn't know what to think.

Guaranteed, he thought as he puffed smoke from his lips, their reaction wasn't anything unexpected. As he'd predicted, they knew a fair share of information, their father---a Kenny Ackerman whose whereabouts were still unknown---having left behind a jumble of letters explaining what his own ancestors had told him, though it really wasn't much in the first place. The bastard child had grown up on their own, with only that information, telling them of their inheritance and what little of the world history was known to their clan. It was only normal that they'd grow horrified at Zeke's confession, and it was only normal that they'd barked their disgust at him in a fit of rage.

Though he had to admit, the part where they'd sniffled and pulled him closer wasn't something he'd predicted. He hadn't foreseen that they'd fall into bed in a flurry of tangled limbs and torn off clothes, and he certainly hadn't expected the way they'd egged him on to distract them from the fact that they were forbidden with the body and lips and presence they'd somehow missed so dearly.

A lonely child, and an even lonlier adult, he'd never thought he'd one day have someone's arms wrapped around him as they napped peacefully. In all honesty, as he put out the cigar that had been burnt to a stub, he doubted he deserved it. After all, the island's blood had seeped into his fingertips, and it could only get worse from here on out.

Maybe it was his smoking that had roused them from their sleep, or maybe they'd already rested well, but for whatever reason he found them sitting upright, curling into his much warmer chest.

"If doomsday were to come, would you come with me?"

They blinked twice, before naked hips came into contact with his as they lay ontop of him, "Where will we go?"

Fingers running delicately through their hair, he spoke matter-of-factly, "To Marley, my hometown."

"Like that's any safer," they rolled their eyes, looking away from his earnest gaze.

"It isn't destined to be destroyed, not yet."

They scoffed, "So you want me to leave the place I've lived in my entire life? To leave my cousin behind for dead?"

"Because this island will be flattened and I don't want you to die?" he arched his eyebrow, taking his glasses from the bedside table to see their softened expression properly, "Then yes, that's exactly what I want. I'm a very selfish man, after all."

"Zeke, it's not---"

"I know," he interrupted, "It's not easy, and it's not ideal, but I don't want to lose the one person who makes me feel something," he huffed, carding his fingers through his blonde hair impatiently for the first time in quite a long while feeling like a restless teenager, "It's up to Levi to save his own skin."

Rubbing at their eyes tiredly, they remained quiet for a while before speaking into his chest, "He'll bring you hell."

Squeezing them tighter, he could only reply, "I'll welcome it gladly."

***

Like a prophecy coming true, months later, Levi's sword had successfully ripped off half his face, plunged deep into his skin as he tried to scream in agony. He'd gravely underestimated his skill, though he should've listened to his lover's claims of his strength.

"You," the ebony-haired man spat out, venom lacing his words as he dug his blade deeper, knocking into his skull, pain searing through his body as he twisted it into Zeke's face, "You're the scum I'd seen with my cousin in town."

Barely able to choke the words out, Zeke could only say, "Bit rich of you to call me scum, don't you think?"

"I'll call you whatever the fuck I want," he hissed at him, raw unadulterated fury directed towards the bespectacled titan shifter underneath him, the look telling him just how much he wished to rip him from limb to limb, "You don't get a say in this when you've laid your filthy fingers on my family."

It took Zeke all he had in him not to chuckle at the sheer rage being emitted from him. The hostility only made him more amused, and he clearly wasn't all too good at hiding how he was feeling, because Levi seemed to determine that he needed to plunge his blades deeper with a sickening squelch.

The words on his tongue turned into pained howls as Levi gritted his teeth, "You deserve to die twice now, you piece of shit."

"Won't," he garbled out, teeth knocking into the metal blade.

Narrowing his steely eyes, the shorter man was about to deliver the dealing blow, knuckles white as he gripped the handles of his blades tighter, but Pieck's movements were far more trained and honed to let that happen, and within less than a second, she'd snatched Zeke's mangled form into her mouth, with Levi narrowly missing her teeth as he swiftly jumped away.

His escape route now available, he could barely register anything around him as his body struggled to heal itself as rapidly as he possibly could, but all he could manage to say to the cart titan was one thing, "As we planned."

She didn't have to voice her confirmation, taking advantage of her larger form to bound across the land to where Zeke had told her the person she was ordered to pick up was staying. Amongst the rubble and remains of houses they stood, clad in all white, a sign of the rebirth Zeke had promised them; sticking to their word and to their plan, no matter how much of a traitor it painted them as, and no matter how much of their heart they left behind on the island of devils.

Their alarmed face was rather humorous at first as Pieck landed with a slam of her large body right in front of them, barely missing them, but they quickly calmed down as they saw the steam rising from between her teeth.

"He's... healing?" with hesitation they asked, and Pieck could only nod.

They carefully wrapped their arms around his torso as she loosened her teeth's grip on him, allowing them to tug at Zeke's barely conscious form and pulling him up on her back, where they tried their best to untangle the mess of leather straps and metal so they could create a makeshift saddle they could strap him down on.

Though Zeke knew it was a rather disturbing sight for them to see for the first time, limbless and tattered almost beyond repair, he marveled at how they kept their disgust to a minimum despite normally being iffy about anything that involved getting their hands dirty. With as little pain being inflicted on him during the process, they were soon tapping his newly-reformed thigh, hissing a little at the heat as they sidled in front of him.

Sitting still for a few minutes, he could feel the resounding pain growing into more of an itch with numbness, his spinning head growing steadier. Twitching in place, he nudged them with his knee, trying to alert them to his consciousness.

"A little better now?" their voice sounded a little rougher than he was accustomed to, and it hit Zeke just how huge the magnitude of what was about to happen would be, and how a small part of them must've been beyond terrified but refused to reveal itself to him.

Still feeling a bit sore, he nodded, rasping out, "We're going to leave for Marley now. No backing out."

"No," they agreed, a heavy sigh escaping them as they leaned down to grab at Pieck's neck for safety, and the blonde man could here the resolute determination in their voice as they repeated after him, as though sealing their fate with unbreakable wax, "There isn't."

Taglist: @blondeboyfriend @mrsgiovanna

[blush-and-books]

always you-shaped thoughts inside my head

so, we found wonderland, the amazing fanfic by @pink-flame ended this week. as a result of my deep and sorrowful mourning, i wrote a fanfic for a fucking fanfic. yes, everyone, we have reached that point. so if you’re one of the unfortunate souls who hasn’t read it then you can start here and do not read this if you don’t want spoilers babes!!!!

anyways, i don’t want to talk about how much i cried when i wrote this. moving on. title from find u again by mark ronson ft. camila cabello and once again THANK YOU @pink-flame FOR THIS WORK, I LOVED IT, I LOVE YOU, ENJOY

A/N: the first part of this is a reimagining of a scene from the story, and the second part is more of a deleted scene. grab tissues if you’re one who cries easily. also tagging @bluefirewrites because i kept texting you while writing this

Julie doesn’t know in what timeline she thought that going to the bookstore would be a good idea. 

Even with her back flat against the wall and Luke’s book clutched identically between her hands and the palms of every other eager fan in the room, she felt like she was too close. Like this was a mistake.

She was the one who insisted they don’t look for each other. 

But here they were. Him, with a poem that crossed time with the silent, lost plea for her to come back to him; her, who chose to answer the call even if she knew she shouldn’t have. Julie should have realized that she couldn’t avoid him forever. Their paths were meant to cross in every universe. 

When he takes the stage, she doesn’t shatter. Yet. 

People are swamped beside her and Flynn on all sides, and she still feels like it’s just the two of them. Once he’s in her line of sight, it’s only him in the room, only him that exists. 

In a world where she’s jumped to and from across time, Luke may be the most real thing she’s ever known. 

The words he says as he reads and answers questions hit her ears as just a series of tones and syllables that are achingly familiar. He’s laughing through one of the book’s anecdotes and suddenly she’s back in the arcade, laughing with him at the pinball machine. He’s talking about the rush of playing their first sold-out show, and she’s back in the greenroom as he heatedly kisses her up against a wall after she spent so much time fighting for him to love her again. 

He’s reading about his parents, and she’s back on that pull-out couch that was only comfy when he was in it; listening to him whisper about their fragmented relationship. 

But then a 20-year-old pokes him about the poem. And he says he loves her -- well, not explicitly, but he says it’s about love -- and the other shoe drops. 

Tears inundate her eyes. 

“I have to go,” her voice shakes as a sob threatens to rip through her words. Flynn offers to join, but Julie needs fresh air and to be alone and to just let her tears fall onto the asphalt of an alleyway without feeling the need to explain herself. She will always be alone in these emotions, in this heartbreak, and that’s okay -- she just doesn’t want anyone to act like they get it.

So she passes her book to Flynn, urges her to get it signed, and flees out the side door. 

Right before she’s out, the 20-year-old presses on about Find Me: “Well, what if they came to you now? What if they found you? Wouldn’t you be happy to see them?”

The exit slams shut behind her and she doesn’t get to hear his answer. 

--

“Well, what if they came to you now? What if they found you? Wouldn’t you be happy to see them?”

Flynn watches intently as Luke’s eyes darken. The book feels heavy in her hands, and she feels like she is suddenly intruding on an intimate moment between Luke and Julie -- even with Julie gone. 

She didn’t always understand what happened with her best friend. But this was clearly a mind, body and soul situation. 

Luke has to clear his throat and blink rapidly before answering. “God, sorry, that one caught me a little!” The audience chuckles. “No one’s asked me that so far on this tour. That’s a good question. I probably think about it more than I should, but… I mean, first of all, they wouldn’t come and find me. I know them well enough to know that Find Me just… Went out into the universe with no expectation of a response. But if they decided too, I… I’d wanna make sure they were happy. And I’d probably thank them one more time for everything they did when I was younger. I would probably be in shock, honestly. I haven’t seen them in a long time.”

Flynn is wiping her nose with a stray tissue from her purse before she can even register that she’s started crying. 

The random people in the back row with her send her strange looks, wondering why she’s getting so emotional, but hearing Luke talk about her best friend like that… 

“Do you still love them?”

God, this person won’t give him a break!

The rockstar visibly tenses up, and the easy grin plastered on his face breaks. That’s when his manager hustles onstage and announces that they are going to start the signing; and everyone needs to start lining up. 

Flynn has to fight to get farther up in line, but it’s worth it when she reaches him.

“Hi,” he smiles, “who should I make it out to?”

The word makes her tongue feel like lead. “Julie.”

His head snaps up, and he’s fully looking at her for the first time. There are a thousand Julie’s in the world, but he knows it’s his. 

“I’m her best friend,” Flynn continues, shifting her teary eyes down to her converse because fuck Julie wasn’t kidding when she said his eyes were intense sometimes. 

“Flynn.”

“Oh... She told you-”

“Where is she? Is she here?”

She’s not even looking at him, but he sounds so desperate, and the water in her eyes swells as she glances at the exit off to her side. “Not right now. But she wanted me to get this signed for her.”

Luke’s Sharpie doesn’t move across the inside cover. In fact, he’s frozen; staring off in the distance with what Flynn is sure must be a whirlwind of emotion that he didn’t ask for. Flynn isn’t sure how to handle it -- they’re in public, and she’s minorly concerned she just sent him spiraling, and they don’t even know each other -- but she feels the need to relay a message since he’ll never get to hear it from Julie himself. 

“She…” Luke looks back up at her; eyes boring into hers in a way that could tug the truth out of anybody. As she blinks, an enthusiastic tear drops onto her cheek, and she instantly lifts her index finger under her eye to catch anything else. “Fuck, my eyeliner. Sorry. Anyways-”

The words get caught in her throat again, so she has to take another deep breath. Helping star-crossed lovers communicate when they are almost thirty years apart is more emotionally taxing than she anticipated. 

“She’s really proud of you,” Flynn finally manages with a voice squeakier and higher than she ever wants to hear it again. Another tear falls from her other eye. “She loves y- your music, and hopes that you have everything you wanted and she’s so proud of you for everything you’ve built.”

At this point, the crumpled tissue in her hand has been helping her dry her eyes because standing in front of Luke Patterson and trying to tell him that the love of his life still cares -- still watches from afar, still wants the world for him -- is making her realize the emotional turmoil that Julie must have been feeling all this time. 

How did she do it?

In front of her, Luke is rubbing his hands over his face and audibly takes a deep, sniffly breath in. Turning to the same woman who got onstage to transition the event before, he informs her: “I need to get some air.”

“Luke, where are you-”

But he’s already forcefully pushing himself back in his chair, grasping the book off of the signing table, and darting out the same exit that Julie stormed through ten minutes ago. 

When the manager turns to look at Flynn -- she bolts away and towards the front entrance. If Julie and Luke are about to meet in that alleyway, she doesn’t want to intrude. Even if she already fucked up both of their plans to never see each other again. 

--

Julie is still hyperventilating and sobbing in the alleyway when the emergency exit loudly flings open against the wall of the bookstore. Her arms are wrapped tightly around herself with a childish prayer to have Teddy Luke in her arms, because at least then there would be a little piece of him to stay with her when the rest of him is gone.

She’s expecting Flynn, or an employee on their smoke break, but not-

“Luke.”

“Julie.”

A whimper leaves her lips at hearing him say her name for the first time in so long. His own eyes are glassy, and even though he’s so much older his eyes are still the same. He’s still her Luke, and that’s such a dangerous idea to touch in this timeline but she can’t let it go. 

“I’m so sorry,” she wails, trying to avoid looking at his heartbroken expression for too long. “I know, I said we can’t do this, I just-”

“Julie.”

“Did you want me to find you?”

Air puffs from his mouth in a harsh sigh as he takes a few steps closer to her; incredulously focused on the fact that she’s there, in front of him, real. “I- Of course, of course I did, Julie. I just didn’t think you’d come. But I wanted you to know I was looking.”

Her eyelids fall shut. More tears are pushed out, and she doesn’t know if she’s crying or laughing because of course Luke would look even when she told him not to. He respected her, and he respected her wishes, but he could never help himself from pushing the boundaries. 

Achingly, she’s always been so grateful for that trait in him. 

But now the two of them are awkwardly standing only a few feet away, and the urge to just feel him, assure that he’s solid in front of her is becoming all too real. 

Gravel rolls under the soles of her shoes. “I loved the book,” she confesses. “All of the stories. I mean, I’m sorry about the- About your splits-”

“I shouldn’t have even tried with them-”

“But everything else, just…”

How does she say it?

“When- Back when, in the other timeline, and you guys were ghosts… Those stories were the kind of thing you had always wanted. You were so determined to get it, and-” She sniffles. “I’m so glad you got it.”

His lips turn downward. It’s a flash of the familiarly frustrated Luke who is trying to make a tough decision, but in this case, she doesn’t know what that decision is. All she sees is the wince at her saying it was what he wanted, and how happy she was that he got it, and-

A conceited part of her contemplates if he’s about to correct her, tell her that life hasn’t been great, say that he would have rather had it differently; but he doesn’t want her to think her sacrifice was for nothing. 

Oh, God, please say he’s happy. She doesn’t think she could handle anything less. 

“It’s thanks to you,” he responds instead, gulping down any more that threatens to come up. “You saved me.” Beat. “Are- Are you happy? Is everything in this timeline okay?”

Well, in her head, not exactly. Of course she still had her dad and brother and Flynn, but Sunset Curve never stayed together, she erased Carrie’s entire existence, and everything felt just a little tilted on its axis. Julie felt like a stranger in a world of her own creation. 

She yearned for the days back in Wonderland where everyone belonged. They were a little scarred and a little broken, but they were home. Her house from the original 2020 timeline was her home. Luke was her home, and he was right in front of her; the only security blanket she has right now. 

Once again, she finds herself bursting into tears and wanting so badly to reach out to him, to give him a hug and tell him she wishes that she stayed in bed in Wonderland with him forever. She wants to jump back down the black hole and go back to 1995 when things made more sense than they did now and Luke could be hers again; and not a distant love that could never materialize in the present. 

Julie, miraculously, holds herself back. But watching Luke’s hands flinch at the sight of her crying doesn’t make things easier. 

“Please don’t cry.” His voice is a whisper but the words hit with a force that almost buckles her knees. “Julie, please, take a deep breath.”

She takes in a breath that makes her lungs expand into her ribs. “I’m happy,” she lies through her teeth as she breathes out slowly. “I’m happy. We’re happy.”

“Good.” 

Tears are running down his face. She recalls a time where it was easy for her to hold his face and swipe under his eyes with her thumbs until there were no more tears for her to kiss away. 

In unison, they clear their throats and shift their eyes. The air changes; they know they’re in a public place again, and Luke is an adult musician, and he’s with a fan. He holds his hand up, the one that has the book, and shakes it a little back and forth. 

“Flynn said you wanted this signed?”

A watery smile blooms on her face in spite of the bitter moment. “Yeah,” she nods. “Thought it could be another memento.”

To put emphasis on the idea, she lifts up onto her tiptoes and tilts her voice up. Make it a more positive moment. Don’t dwell. Stop crying. 

You can’t change things now. 

Luke pops the cap off with his teeth, and toys around with it in his mouth like it’s one of his marked-up guitar picks as he holds the book open and scribbles something (probably illegible) on the inside of the front cover. 

Then, once he’s done there, he starts flipping the pages around like he knows where every detail of the story is and marks up certain pages with… Something. She doesn’t know. After he’s made his wanted notes, he writes something out on the last page before firmly shutting it and returning it to her possession. 

“Thank you,” she smiles simply as she pulls the book from his hands and carefully assures that their hands don’t overlap. If she touches him, she falls apart. 

Luke hums in response. 

Stupidly, Julie decides that moment to open up the book and see what he wrote while he’s standing right in front of her. But she isn’t thinking about him, or looking at him -- she’s looking at the inside cover. 

We were always meant to find each other. Don’t forget that - please. 

Yours,

Luke

When a tear drops on the page, she quickly turns farther into the book because she doesn’t want her feelings to ruin his beautiful, even if messy, words. These words are all she’ll have after today. 

The few pages in the book that he made notes on were just little things that she never knew she needed to hear. 

The chapter about his first sold out stadium show? Thought of you the whole time

When he heard he was nominated for a Grammy? Wanted to call you first

The night he won his first Grammy? Almost thanked you in my speech

The last page he wrote on was the Acknowledgements page. Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t that long. Luke kept a core circle of people and that was that. But below that short list, in bold, black letters:

To Julie Molina, who sacrificed everything so that I could be able to tell these stories. I wish she could have been a part of them. 

Her tears slip from her face so clear and quickly that she’s surprised her tear ducts are generating such a mass amount. The words replay in her head, in Luke’s voice, over and over. The affirmation that he wanted her with him all this time. 

But she had to go again. This had to be a one-time thing. This hurt too much for her to put either of them through it again, and besides -- now she had closure in his own writing; with her tears notarizing each word. 

“It’s time, Julie,” she mutters to herself. “It’s time.”

To say goodbye. Again. 

But Luke never answers. It’s dead silent, even though cars should be racing on the road behind them. When she looks up, Luke is frozen to the spot. Everything is, except her. 

“Time is a funny thing isn’t it? Just when you think you have a handle on it, it manages to surprise you.” 

It’s Willie, but not actually Willie. The one who was giving her the clues and trying to lead her in directions all over 1995; the one who she hasn’t seen in a really, really long time. For a moment, she doesn’t believe it. 

But he tells her that fate is in her hands. This is her choice. And despite the doubt that lingers uneasily in her chest, she can’t help but be desperate for this to be real. 

“Why not you? Who better than Julie Molina? Teenage girl with a good heart and music in her soul. Braver than most. Why not you?” 

Julie jumped across time to save her boys, and now she is willing to make the trip again if it means there’s a chance of saving them all. 

But there’s one more thing she wants to do. Just before everything either is perfect again or goes to complete shit. 

Spinning away from Willie, she takes a second glance at Luke’s still frame and softens her face into a smile. He had been looking down at her while she was reading his notes with tears in his eyes and a sad grin on his face. 

No one is looking or judging anymore -- so she stands on her toes and throws her arms around his neck, squeezing him close even if he can’t hug her back. She’s been dying to do this since she saw him in the bookstore. 

And it feels like coming home. 

“I’ll find you again,” she whispers into his ear that probably isn’t listening. “I promise.”

And without any more hesitation, she turns back to Willie with her chin up and shoulders back. 

“What do I have to do?”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The book never finds its way back to her the way that the bear does or the way that the ring does. 

But that’s okay, because the bookstore does, and she’s with Luke when she registers that they are walking by the bookstore on their way to meet everyone at one of their favorite diners. 

By now, Luke had been told everything. She felt herself starting to fall in love with this third Luke just as she had all the others, but could never tell if he was falling back in love with her. Julie found herself -- while this timeline was infinitely better than the old one -- pining for Luke to come back to her and love her like he did in two other lifetimes. 

Their hands were brushing each other’s on the sidewalk when the bookstore sign met her eyes. 

“Jules?” 

Her feet are glued to the cement; her eyes are glued to the alleyway. Luke approaches behind her and lays a hesitant hand on her shoulder. 

“Jules, are you- Is everything okay?”

“Can we take a detour, really quick?”

And suddenly, he’s letting her lace her fingers through his and pull him through traffic -- no crosswalk in sight -- across the street to stand in front of a bookstore that has zero meaning to him whatsoever. Julie selfishly revels in his calluses rubbing her knuckles and doesn’t make a move to let go unless he will. 

He doesn’t. At least, until they hit the alleyway.

“Julie, what is this place? Why are we out here? Is this… Did I like it here, or something?”

They never spoke much about the Luke’s of other timelines. Julie quickly caught onto the fact that he got uncomfortable when she talked about guys with his name and face that he knew virtually nothing about even though he felt pressured to know everything. 

But he dealt with her when she had moments like these. She never thanked him properly for it.

“It wasn’t like that,” she shakes her head, “we were here in the other 2020. The one where you were older, and this huge Grammy-winning solo musician. The one that was a result of what I did in 1995.”

The exit door is still rusty on the hinges. The brick is the same shade of red, and-

“Okay… And? What did you guys do?”

His use of third person is a clear message. “Him and I had made this promise in ‘95 that we wouldn't find each other, right?” “Because he would be old.”

“Yeah. But he published this book and had a whole signing tour called Find Me, and Flynn told me we should go, and… Basically, I had a mental breakdown at seeing him, and then he came back here and signed the book for me, and we talked, and-”

Her voice cracks. Her eyes feel wet. 

Fuck. 

Can’t she make it one timeline without sobbing in an alleyway?

A familiar hand rubs up and down her back as she stares, firmly, at the spot where her and Luke were so vividly standing and talking and pining for the other. 

“Jules, hey, look at me.” 

Because it’s Luke -- because it’s her Luke -- she listens to him, and rotates to face him. The soft fabric of his shirt hits her cheeks as he presses his fingers into the cotton and lifts his hand to wipe the tears from her face in a gesture that tempts her to cry more. Instead, she tries to laugh it off. “God, I really need to stop having meltdowns in alleyways, huh?” He stays quiet; looking at her in a recognizable Luke way that reminds her of all of their loving times in other lives. But she can’t get her hopes up. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t like when I talk about it. Sometimes I just-”

“You need to,” he nods. “I get it.”

Her feet are planted identically where they were in alternate-2020. But Luke is in a different spot, because this is a new Luke. One that’s right in front of her, lightly holding her arms; not one that’s a few feet out of reach. 

“He told me that we would always find each other.” Her voice is watered down, and quiet, but Luke is close enough to hear it. 

“Well, he was right, wasn’t he? We did it. For like, the fourth time, according to you.”

And then, she’s hit with a Luke Patterson smile. She sees it all of the time now but it never gets old because he’s young, and he’s happy, and he’s here. 

Her lips turn up to reflect it, and in a shocking turn of events: Luke instigates the hug. 

They are nearly best friends, so they’ve hugged before. But this one is different. 

His arms fold around her shoulders and tug her close and snug into his chest so that his chin is nearly resting on her hair. This leaves her able to press him close to her with her arms wrapped tightly and lovingly around his waist -- almost, dare she say it, like he was a teddy bear. 

“I never said I’m sorry,” he murmurs into her forehead. “Or thank you, for that matter.” “For what?” “I’m sorry you went through so much for me. For us. It still affects you a lot and I’m sorry you have to carry that alone.” His chest rises and falls under her cheek as he takes a deep breath, and she doesn’t think she’ll ever get tired of feeling him breathe or hearing his heartbeat. “And thank you for loving us enough to do it. You sacrificed a lot.”

She is too choked up to verbally comment -- but she squeezes him tighter, almost tempting her arms to swish through him. 

They don’t. 

And Luke continues talking after a moment of a peaceful silence. “It’s kind of cool, though, for me to think about this person I have in the universe. You know? The whole thing with us finding each other. I always have you, no matter where I am. You’ll be out there.”

“Always,” she sighs into his chest, because she can’t help it. It took them a few tries, but here they are: In the same timeline, with full family and friends and lives, in a reciprocated hug. 

“Always.” Luke repeats the word, almost feeling it out in his mouth. “Well, thanks for doing it again. Maybe let me do the work next time. You need a break.”

God, this Luke is always so good at making her laugh. Ghost-Luke was, too, but the other Luke’s and her were always swept up in emotionally-taxing situations for her to be laughing like she could when she was with this Luke. 

It was almost as if this one had practice. Maybe those other lives were kicking in.

He was her final Luke, hopefully. 

As she props her chin up on his chest, she gives him the widest grin she’s worn all day. “I would appreciate that. Just don’t take too long.” Her forehead nuzzles itself into his neck as she settles herself back into his arms; fully content to be wrapped up in him for as long as he will let her stay. “I’ll get worried.”

A soothing hand over her hair is all the confirmation she needs. 

“Don’t worry, Boss. I’ll be there.”

[httpnxtt]

Wallpaper - Reid x Reader

A/N: Hello Lovelies! I attempted some pure fluff this time to show my love to my bby, @spencer-reid-in-a-pool​ ! I wanted to shower her with love and this was the only way I could think how, so I hope you enjoy! Shoutout to @imagining-in-the-margins​ for the adorable prompt! You’re amazing and ily! 

Also shout out to my amazing beta buddies, @sunlight-moonrise​ , @clean-bands-dirty-stories​ , and @definitelynotkatesblog​ !

Spencer Reid x Reader

Category: FLUFFY FLUFF

Warnings: None!

Word Count: 4.2k

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the world of darkness that surrounds our lives, it’s important to find the light in the world. Luckily for me, our paperwork days meant being sat across from my best friend, Spencer Reid. The man whose smile lit the entire room, who could drop everything in an instant for someone he loves; who makes my days brighter at the simplest, “Hi.” The curly-haired genius spends his days surrounded by the worst humans in existence, using his brain to help the world before helping himself. With his IQ of 187, his mind works a million miles a minute, but sometimes he still needs help. That’s where my job comes in. 

I joined the BAU a year ago, and was instantly drawn to the resident genius. He was timid when I first met him, as if scared the world would break him with everything it decided to throw at the sweet man. Slowly, I captured the heart of our resident genius, who was now my best friend. Over the course of the years, he became my favorite person. On cases, I would make sure he took time to drink water and rest when possible, bringing him snacks when his brain was wrapped in his geological profile. I made it my mission to teach the genius to love himself as much as he loves others. 

Paperwork days were when I really got to see his bright smile and soft laughter. It became a running joke between us. Whenever Spencer would get up to grab us coffee from the kitchen, I would steal his phone to change the wallpaper to something silly. Every time he would check his phone for updates, he would see a new silly picture and grace me with a shining smile and chuckle. Even for these split moments in time, I knew I had distracted him from the morbid things littering our desks. His smile lit up the bullpen, leaving butterflies fluttering around in my stomach, my own smile gracing my lips. He would always shake his head before changing it back, already knowing he would find a new wallpaper later that day. Luckily for me, today was a long, dragging paperday which means I had plenty of time to meet my Spencer-Smile quota for the day. 

First thing this morning, I got my hands on his cell. Pre-coffee brain, the only thing I could think of was the most ridiculous picture of our own Derek Morgan. The image was one Penelope graced me with, a photo he attached when shamelessly flirting with her during our downtime. As quickly as I could, I set the lockscreen and gently placed the device back on his desk, almost in the right spot although I’m sure Spencer would notice it had been moved. I sit back in my chair, slowly starting to spin as I see Spencer make his way back to our desks, two mugs in hand as his glasses begin to slide down the bridge of his nose. I shoot up to wrap my hands around the steaming mug, the warmth like a warm hug. I pull the mug up to my face, smelling the delicious scent of coffee created perfectly to my specifications. Sometimes boy genius’ memory has its perks. Settling back at my desk, I sort through the mound of files for the day in anticipation. 

Looking up from my own cases, I look across to Spencer who has his face buried in a file, his finger trailing down the pages taking my mind into places it shouldn’t go. After an hour he still hasn’t seen his wallpaper, plastering a frown on my face. I pull out my own device, immediately texting a gif of Stitch saying hi to “Pretty Boy”, hearing his phone ding almost immediately. Looking across to Spencer, he almost spits out his coffee seeing the ever flirtatious Derek Morgan gracing his screen. The reaction sent me into a whirlwind of laughter, my head thrown back, almost cackling at the poor man. 

As I calm down, wiping the tears from under my eyes, I see Spencer looking at me with his signature smile, making my heart flutter. 

“That was a good one, Y/N. You really got me this time.” He chuckles, looking at this screen again before looking back at me. “Might have been your best one yet,” he says as he works to change it back. The poor technophobe had to learn because of me how to change his wallpaper since he realized I wouldn’t stop anytime soon. He’s still a tad slow but watching him try to work through it makes my heart happy as I return to my own files. 

As I try to work through my own files, an IM from the tech queen herself pings my computer. 

P.Garcia: “Changed Boy Wonder’s wallpaper again? When are you going to tell him?! Your puppy eyes give you away, darling. You can’t lie to me.”

Y/N: “Darling Penelope, I would never lie to you. Alas, you continue shipping something that will never sail..” I reply to her, hoping she gets the gist.

Although Spencer lives in my thoughts rent free, that’s where he’ll stay. As much as I wanted him in my arms instead, it simply wasn’t going to happen. I close my messages before trying to actually get some work done. I’d rather not stay late yet again due to my tendency to be a bit scatterbrained. 

***

Coffee break number two rolls around and I already have the perfect picture planned. Reid scurries into the kitchen desperate for more coffee and I rush to his desk. Pulling out his phone, I send an image to it before saving it. It is one of my all time favorites. A movie night Spencer and I shared. I convinced him to let me pamper him under the reasoning of some well deserved self-care. Surprisingly, the man went along with my antics, although fighting me on this gem. The image is a sneaky one that Reid doesn’t even know exists. During our self-care night, I tried to take pictures of him looking as cute as ever, but he kept blocking me. Luckily, Spencer fell asleep before his mask came off leaving the perfect opportunity to snap the evidence. There is Spencer in all his glory, curled up on my couch in the light blue robe I saved for him that was covered in little clouds, a purple face-mask clinging to his cheeks, trying to avoid his eyebrows.To top it all off, he wore a bright pink headband to push his hair back decorated with bunny ears. The picture shows the soft side of our boy, a side I wished he would show more. 

Throwing his phone back on his pile of files, I sit back at my desk, nonchalantly sipping my now cold coffee. Seeing Reid shuffle back to his desk, I wait for him to pick up his phone with my mug resting against my mouth. Spencer readjusts his frames as he settles in his chair, looking me in the eyes before looking at his phone. Instead of his normal chuckle, a pout graces his plush lips. Although his lips are normally a favorite of mine to stare at, the pout twists my gut. 

“I thought you didn’t get any pictures of me that night,” he mumbles, giving me puppy eyes that could give mine a run for their money. 

Despite my pride in the picture, his tone makes me feel just a little guilty. “I’m sorry, Spence, I thought you were so cute when you were napping. I didn’t want to make you upset.” I pout, the butterflies disintegrating as the moments pass. Rummaging through my drawer, I find my sack of trail mix and toss it to the dark-eyed man. “Here, take my trail mix, I know it’s your favorite,” I offer, a small smile painted on my face. Spencer’s eyes land on me, lips turning up once more into the smile that never fails to take my breath away. 

“I appreciate it, but I can’t take it. I know it’s basically the only thing you eat on your lunch break.” His call out causes heat to rise into my face. 

I stay insistent though. “I want you to have it. I don’t like making you sad.” I shoot back, giving him my infamous puppy eyes. Even Aaron Hotchner falls for them, there is no way the doctor could resist. 

“Okay,” he starts, automatically having me rush across to his desk to give him the snack. “On one condition,” He finishes, making my face fall once more. Spencer never lets people just give him a present, he always does more for others. “Since you’re giving me your snack, you come with me to get a proper lunch since you need food and I could use the hour away from these files.” He smiles at me, already munching on the trail mix so I have no choice but to agree. 

“Deal. BUT, I want pancakes if we’re going,” I reason with him, plopping back in my chair. 

“IHOP it is.” He chuckles, the sound resonating in my brain as we both hurry through our respective files. 

***

At coffee break number three, Reid stands from his desk, scrunching his nose to fix his glasses as he reaches across to snatch my mug from my desk. Hiding my face in the file until he walks away, I turn to see him shaking his head, knowing I’m about to change his wallpaper yet again. 

Once I see him turn the corner, I stretch over to grab his phone he conveniently left square in the middle of his desk, giving the man yet another excuse to talk to her. Flipping through the camera roll, I hear a chuckle from the desk a few feet away. Looking over, I find the one and only, Derek Morgan shaking his head at me. 

“What’s so funny, Thunder? Sad the attention isn’t on you anymore?” I tease him while trying to find the perfect picture. 

“I just find the pining that goes on between two supposedly brilliant people entertaining.” He chuckles as my jaw drops, turning to him. “Come on, Princess. You don’t think we don’t all know you and Pretty Boy fancy each other, do you? It’s obvious to everyone except the boy himself.”

I shake my head. “He’d never see me that way, Morgan. This is just for shits and giggles.” I breathe out, settling on an image of our feet in front of the TV screen, mismatched socks adorning our feet while “Beauty and the Beast” plays in the background. He sports a neon pink sock along with a navy blue sock covered in planets, while my feet claimed one sock covered in different moon phases, the other covered in little alien creatures. Placing his phone on his desk, I settle back at my own, shooting Morgan a closing, “You’re just seeing things, Morgan.” before burying myself back in the file at hand. 

Moments later, my mug is sat directly in front of me before Reid sits at his own desk. Automatically picking up his phone to check, my tummy flutters at the smile he releases while staring at the screen for a moment before looking at me. Making eye contact, I notice a slight pink tint to his cheeks, before he looks back at the image.

“This might be my favorite one yet,” he murmurs, adjusting his glasses without looking away from the screen. I feel my cheeks heat up, getting warmer by the second, but I cannot tear my eyes from the man who holds my heart without even knowing it. 

***

“Hey Y/N. Ready for lunch?” Spencer asks, tearing my eyes from the IMs Garcia floods me with daily. 

“Ready when you are!” I reply, jumping at the opportunity to get away from the files scattered on my desk. You’d think serial killers would take a day off sometimes. Shuffling to my feet, I grab my keys from my desk and grab Spencer’s hand, dragging him to the elevator with me.

“Seems like it’s more ready when Y/N is.” He chuckles, straightening his glasses once he comes to a stop in front of the silver doors. As we step in, Garcia frantically waves at us, before sprinting into the bullpen as the doors close.

“Well, you’re in luck, Pretty Boy. You get me as your personal chauffeur to lunch.” I beam at him as he goes bug-eyed.

“Lucky? In your death trap, Y/N?” He chuckles, putting a flabbergasted look on my face.

“Hey!” I yell at him, playfully elbowing him in the ribs. “My car has lasted 15 long years I’ll have you know, and she runs as smooth as ever,” I shoot back, immediately leaving him behind when the doors open. “Maybe I’ll just go get pancakes without you then.” It’s playful when I lock all the car doors except for mine, and he knows it.

That doesn’t stop him from playing along. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry Y/N! Will you ever forgive my poor soul?” he jokes, holding both his hands over his heart as he begs for forgiveness. Unlocking the doors, I giggle at his antics before heading to the restaurant. 

***

“Y’all ready to order, or do you need a few more minutes?” The server returns to the table with our coffees, along with an apple juice for my inner child. 

“Yes ma’am. Can I get the plain pancakes with eggs, as well as a side of bacon and sausage?” Spencer asks while gathering both our menus for her. “Of course, sugar. What about you darlin’?” she turns to me as Spencer dumps almost the entire sugar container into his mug. 

“I’ll just have the chocolate chip pancake, please!” I smile at her as I steal what’s left of the sugar from the man across from me. 

“No problem, that’ll be right out for y’all.” She smiles at us before heading off to the kitchen. 

“Did you know chocolate chips were invented by Ruth Wakefield because she decided to chop up a chocolate bar and add it to her cookie batter?” Spencer looks to me as he starts with factoids. “And white chocolate isn’t even truly chocolate! White chocolate is made with a blend of sugar, cocoa butter, milk products, vanilla, and a fatty substance called lecithin. Not that it’s a surprise, considering it doesn’t even taste like chocolate. Probably because it doesn't contain chocolate solids.” he rambles as I stare at him with stars in my eyes. “However, dark chocolate is loaded with organic compounds that are biologically active and function as antioxidants. These include polyphenols, flavanols and catechins, among others. Dark chocolate also has a list of different benefits proven from consumption.” He finishes, taking a sip of his coffee as I continue staring at the man.

“What ever would I do without you, Boy Wonder?” I say, seeing Spencer’s face heat up at my remark as he hides behind his mug. 

“M-me?” He asks, as if he couldn’t believe it. He shakes his head in disbelief before I could respond, showering me with many more factoids while waiting for our food rather than accept my compliment.

“Alright, here’s your food darlin’. Let me know if there’s anything else I could do for y’all.” The server tells us, shooting us a smile before moving onto another table. Spencer takes his time cutting up his food, dousing his plate in more syrup than pancake. Meanwhile, I dig into my pancakes as if it’s the last thing I will ever eat. 

Halfway through my own pancakes, I look up to see Spencer looking directly at me with a look I couldn’t quite distinguish. 

“Why are you staring at me?” I ask him, almost seeming to pull him from a trance before responding. 

“Oh. Uh, you have chocolate on your face.” He tells me, seeing my face flush at the information. I grab my napkin and quickly wipe my lips making sure not to miss a spot. Little did I know, there wasn’t a single speck on my face. 

“Is it gone?” I ask him, hoping not to embarrass myself further. 

“Oh, yeah it’s gone.” he smiles, returning his focus onto his own plate. 

Going back to eating, I keep sneaking pieces of the bacon off Spencer’s plate, causing him to smile each time. 

“Hey Spence. I have a question for you.” I tell him, shoving a piece of bacon in my mouth. 

“And what would that be, Y/N?” He asks me, sipping his coffee. 

“Why is it every time we come here you order sausage and bacon, if you never touch the bacon?” I ask him, looking at him with a puzzled expression. 

“Would you like my honest answer?” He pushes back, as if I would want anything else from him. I nod with a mouth full of pancakes, earning a smile while he responds. “Because I know you’ll always steal the bacon from my plate but will never actually order it yourself.” He smiles at me, returning to his own food leaving me speechless and even more red.

Finishing up our plates, Spencer takes initiative to organize all of the empty dishes so our server has less work. Giggling at his antics, I pull out my phone to check the time, seeing we still have plenty of time before our break is over. 

“Are we getting milkshakes?” he asks me, sipping the last of his coffee before adding the mug to his carefully organized dish-pile. 

“Of course we’re getting milkshakes, what kind of question is that, Spencer?” I look at him, almost appalled he would assume we weren’t. “We each have a sweet tooth I’ve ever seen matched by anyone else, why would you ever assume I would say no to a milkshake?”

“I wasn’t sure if we had the time, I didn’t want to make us late.” He explains, shaking his head yet again at my child-like antics. 

When the server returns, we both order the largest mint-chip shakes they had before returning to our usual banter in waiting. Not long after, the server returned with a single shake. 

“I’m so sorry sugar, apparently we only had enough ingredients for one mint-chip. Can I get y’all something else?” The server asks us, feeling bad she couldn’t fulfill our order. 

“You take the mint-chip, Spence. I’ll order something else.” I push the shake toward him as he blocks it from getting to him. 

“It’s okay, Y/N. I’m not worried about it.” He replies, fighting me over a milkshake. 

“Spence-” I begin to argue before he abruptly cuts me off. 

“Would you like to share the shake with me, Y/N?” he asks me, looking me directly in the eye. I froze for a moment, taken aback at the offer from the germaphobe in front of me.

“If that’s okay with you, Spence. Then, sure!” I respond, checking if it was okay with him. 

“I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t okay, Y/N.” He shoots back, chuckling at me before asking the server for two straws. The man in front of me steals more and more of my heart with every passing moment.

***

Going up the elevator to the BAU was a constant battle between us. Spencer secretly gave the server his card so I wouldn’t even have a chance to fight him on paying. 

“You gave me your trail mix, Y/N! That’s the whole reason I asked you to get lunch in the first place! Why would I let you pay when I extended the invitation?” He shoots at me as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Shooting him a look of discontent, we both sit back at our desks, feeling 2 pairs of eyes staring at us from a few desks over. 

“Don’t look now, but I think Tweedledee and Tweedledum are staring at us.” I lean over to whisper. Reid tries his best to look up at them, nonchalant as possible. Despite the boy being a genius, he is anything but sly, looking just in time to see Derek and Penelope snap their heads to whatever was on his desk. Giving them a smile, Reid picks up his own file to return to his own tasks for the day. However, the task only lasted so long before the genius needed yet another cup of coffee for the day. Heading off to the kitchen, I quickly grab the phone he left on his desk on his break, trying to plan the perfect image. 

Before I could get far, I was abruptly stopped in my tracks. Staring at the homescreen on his phone, I couldn’t understand how I hadn’t noticed this before. Had this been in front of my face the entire time? Staring at the screen, I see myself and Spencer from our weekly movie nights. I had all of our silly photos, yet I had never seen this one. I see myself, puffed out cheeks with my eyes crossed, pulling at my ears to make myself look like a monkey, but my eyes can only look at Spencer. He hadn’t made his silly face. Instead, the man before me is staring directly at me, the sweetest smile across his lips. His little nose scrunch in full effect, his beautiful hazel eyes creased in the corner from his smile. That smile that could melt my heart in two seconds flat. Staring at the screen for what felt like centuries, I refocus on my surroundings when I hear his soft voice behind me. 

“Wow, Y/N. Getting a little slow with the changes now, are we?” He laughs, before noticing the look on my face. Stopping dead in his tracks, he looks at me confused more than ever. Not being able to form words, I raise my hand to show him the wallpaper, the perfect image of us. His eyes go wide, his mug almost slipping through his fingers.

“Y/N, I-” He starts. 

“Spence… Where did this picture come from?” I ask him, looking back at the screen before me. “I’ve never seen this one before,” I whisper, before Spencer puts his hands over mine, the mug now living on his desk. 

“I, uh. I took this one before making a face, I just couldn’t resist.” He whispers, pulling my chin up gently between his two fingers, looking me dead in the eye. “Y/N…” He starts, glancing down before gazing back at me with the same look I saw at the restaurant. “I couldn’t resist because I wanted to keep a physical copy of one of the happiest moments of my life. And I care about you... More than care about you! You make my days so much brighter when you’re around. You’re the only person to ever know me, the real me. And I..” he trails off, working his confidence up to finish his thought. “I love you, Y/N. And that picture was saved, locked away on my phone so I could be reminded how much you mean to me, and how much you care on some of my darkest days. I love you, Y/N. It’s the only thing I have locked away because it’s the moment I knew I was in love with you.” He finishes, breathing out as he waits for me to react. Stunned into silence, I stand there looking at the man, seeing his face turn to panic. “It’s okay if you do-” He starts, stunned when he is cut off by his plush lips being covered by my own. He slides his hand onto my cheek, holding my face as he returns the affection. 

Pulling away, I look him dead in the eye, I pull out of his embrace to my own desk, grabbing my phone. Returning to his side, I unlock my phone to show him my own hidden homescreen, a grin spreading on my cheeks from the flood of emotion. From our self-care night, it is quite possibly my favorite image of the man. He was in his robe, bunny headband and mask, but he was trying to block the images from being taken. His hand was raised in an attempt, but I could hear the laughter radiate from the image, the smile making my heart swoon at every glance. Looking between me and the image, Spencer’s jaw drops at my own revelation, before pulling me into a bone-crushing hug. Burying my face in his neck, I murmur my own “I love you.” Before a whistle from the peanut gallery beside us breaks it up. 

Shooting a look to Penelope, I see she has the biggest smile plastered on her own face, her rosy cheeks probably stinging from the sheer joy painted on. Morgan sitting beside her lounges back in his own chair, shooting a wink our way. 

Returning to our respective seats, I can’t help but steal glances at the man beside me. When he catches me, I can’t help but giggle.

“Hey Spence. How long was I oblivious to your homescreen?” I ask him, curious as to how much of a dumbass I truly was. Seeing his cheeks flush pink, he turns to me with guilt in his eyes, 

“Y/N.. as much as I would love to take the credit, I don’t know where the wallpaper came from. I can barely change it back after you mess with it.” He confesses, a shy smile on his face. Laughing at his technophobe ways, it finally registers that he didn’t actually set the wallpaper. 

“Wait, then who changed it?” I ask him, before hearing stilettos and boots scurrying down the hall, laughter trailing behind them. Looking back at my boy, those eyes stole all my words away, and that smile… the smile I had seen so many times before but never knew the intention, the smile I fell in love with, I knew he would forever be my always.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @spencer-reid-in-a-pool​  @redbullchick​  @samanddeanstolethetardis221b​   @reidetic​ @gretaamyk​ @sunlight-moonrise​ @prettyricky187​ @rileysann​ @itslatinamagia​ @timey-wimey-lovi​  @pinkdiamond1016​

[ohnopoe]

Hiya there!!!! Could i maybe please have some headcanons about the characters you write for being in love with a very domestic/ cottagecore/ disney-princess-loving sweet girl who works at a daycare (with babies) ?

Im sorry if that didnt make much sense im french but i love your writing!!! Have an amazing day!! 😊

Your patience is extraordinary. I’m so sorry this took so long, and I’m additionally sorry that I couldn’t provide more characters for this. Between it beginning to feel repetitive and just having a mental block on it, which has been practically consuming my ability to write, I’m afraid I was only able to give you five characters, but hopefully the accidental mini stories they turned into makes up for that!

Under the cut you will find headcanons or miniature fics tbh for Din Djarin, Ezra, Frankie Morales, Javier Peña and Poe Dameron

Din Djarin

Looking after Grogu is Din’s priority. So, when he sees his adoptive son clinging to your leg after he leaves him at the small daycare on Nevarro, utterly enraptured in your every movement as you finish putting away the colourful pencils the children had been playing with, well, he’s intrigued.

When Grogu is reluctant to leave the planet, putting on a fuss as he flies away, well, he’s fascinated.

Plenty of people got along with the little green baby, and it seemed people fell for his big bug eyes everywhere they went. But he hadn’t seen the child so enraptured before… It was almost the same kind of adoration he seemed to throw towards Din.

Weeks pass before he’s landing back in Nevarro, ready to take on another job, and he’s almost forgotten about you. But the way Grogu perks up at the familiar surroundings is an instant reminder.

He hadn’t even intended to leave the kid at the daycare this time, it was only meant to be a short trip after all, but who could say ‘no’ to those pleading eyes?

The day’s half over when he knocks on the door. Children of all species are spread about the room, and there’s an air of chaos to the scene, but as you meet his gaze through that vizor that keeps him shielded from the rest of the room, he finally understands the absolute sense of calm you exude.

He’s frozen.

Your smile cuts through him, it’s gentle and soft and reassuring and everything he didn’t know he’d been missing for so many years now.

He stutters, genuinely stutters when he hands Grogu over, asking if he can spend the rest of the day with the other children. And if you notice, well, you’re not about to mention it just yet.

He’s making more trips to Nevarro, even he refuses to acknowledge why. The kid needs to socialise more, jobs from Karga are smarter, it’s good to keep in contact with the Cara, to know what the rebellion is up to… Excuses seem to pile up upon one another. Of course it couldn’t have anything to do with the fact that every time he sees your smile directed at him, every time he watches the way you play with Grogu, the world seems a little lighter.

A dangerous mission is what changes things.

He knows it’ll bring good credits, and provide more safety for the kid in the long run, but bringing him along for the ride is too risky, and it’s exactly what the enemy would be expecting. So he asks if you’ll look after him, just for a few days.

Of course, you’re more than happy to take the little green menace, but it’s the way you tell him to be careful, the way he can almost see genuine worry in your gaze as you utter words of care that he’s so damn unused to that has him struck once more.

The sight of you there, looking at him with such a gentle look, with his kid in your arms, well, it distracts him more than he’d care to admit.

So when he comes back to Nevarro, to your house of all things, he’s a little worse for wear, and he’s certainly not expecting the way you usher him in, or the way you look after him. Suddenly, leaving Nevarro at all seems like the stupidest decision possible, when you’re there in your humble house that still screams home more than anything he can remember.

He stays for days, you’re insistent that he heal properly and take the time to rest before he goes rushing back into the universe. And it’s the most relaxed he’s ever felt.

Ezra

After his time in The Green, Ezra is certain of one thing, he’s had enough of that damn colour.

There’s only so long you can spend surrounded by shades of green before it starts to haunt you, and even the most poetic of people lose any sense of beauty they once found in it.

But then there was you.

You, who lived a life so far removed from what he had experienced, that the flowery poetics seemed to just flow from him once more.

His insecurities after losing his arm seemed to lessen in your presence, caught up in the whirlwind that was you.

Laughter and joy seemed to fill the days, and sometimes he’d even help you with your work simply to enjoy the bubble of joy you seemed to exude, to embrace every moment of happiness that he was lucky enough to experience.

Colours seemed brighter, and filled with a range he had only hoped to see, when you were around. And those poems he had loved so dearly were not just a distant dream, they were tangible and real.

Softness and beauty coloured his days once more, and his heart was full.

Even green seemed more beautiful now.

Frankie Morales

In all honesty? He’s terrified. You’re his daughter’s daycare worker and it doesn’t matter that you make him smile, make those damn butterflies fill his chest in a way he hasn’t felt since he was an awkward teenager. It doesn’t matter that your smile is so damn captivating that it has him smiling goofily to himself the whole damn drive to work after he drops his daughter off with you.

It doesn’t matter because it can’t. He won’t interfere with your work and he certainly won’t be that creep who asks you out when you look after his daughter, no, nope, absolutely not.

But then, a year later, and his daughter is off to preschool, and yeah, ok, he’s a bit of a wreck as he shops for school supplies, but suddenly you’re there. It hasn’t been long at all, and yet he can’t help but think how much he has missed that smile.

It’s so much harder to explain to his little girl that, despite the chance encounter, you won’t be a part of her life anymore, especially when she’s so darn excited to see you, and so he stumbles, he struggles and glances to you for help and, well, the help you give has him even more lost for words.

You suggest lunch, on the first weekend after she’s started school. Just Frankie, her and you, all meeting at a park where his daughter can tell you all about ‘big school’.

He’s silent so long that you worry you’ve overstepped, and just as you’re about to ramble off some excuse in a desperate attempt to backtrack, he offers you the most beaming smile you’ve ever seen.

Well, your not so little crush was doomed, and so was your heart. But after lunch that soon turned into a weekly affair, you soon came to realise, your heart was in very safe hands.

Javier Peña

I’m not going to lie, at first Javier is skeptical to say the least. He’s seen chaos and pain and suffering for so long, that seeing someone so damn gentle? Yeah, he’s wondering what your game is. But then it becomes something else, it becomes a fascination. You seem sincere in your softness, and he finds himself smiling back at you in an instant, before he can even question it.

So, skepticism turns to curiosity. Are you just naive to the horrors of the world? Are you really that sheltered that you believe what the fairytales told you the world would be? He has to know, even if he’s cursing himself the whole damn way.

He’s spending more time with you to figure you out, that’s what he tells himself. Of course, it’s obvious to everyone else the change that you bring. His shoulders are less tense, he’s not bitting people’s heads off at work, hell, he’s smiling more.

It’s different to what he’s used to. It’s softer, and slower, and he’s reluctant as hell, but things just seem to happen.

You’re at his place as often as your own. You’re sharing movies with him that he’s never even considered seeing before, you’re sharing your lives with one another, and there hasn’t been a single date so far.

You’re everything he’s fighting to protect, before he can even acknowledge his own feelings for you. But as oblivious as Javier can be to these things, you’re not. You know the stories, the tales of love that seemed to pass him by. You’re patient as he navigates his way through his feelings.

It’s a random moment in time, really. You’re on his couch, talking about the children you work with, it’s just another day. But it’s everything to him. It’s the moment he realises you’re his all, that being right there, in that moment, listening to you talk about children you clearly adore, children that aren’t even your own, it’s all he’s ever needed, and all he ever wants.

The progression from that odd friendship to something more is surprisingly smooth.

Of course, he’s bound to stumble along the way, it’s so far from what he’s used to that he’s terrified half the time of stuffing up to a point of no return. But it’s genuine, it’s real, and you can both simply be yourselves; even if he does tease you a little about the ‘childish’ decor that starts to fill the apartment when you finally move in.

Poe Dameron

It was an accident, the first time Poe quite literally ran into you. BB-8 assured him that it would be faster to get to his ship through the path he had never ventured before as he rushed to fly out for a sudden mission, and he was right. What the little droid had failed to mention, however, was that said path ran directly through the resistance’s schooling area.

It was a small group of rooms, with few children of resistance members actually living on base, but it was something so downright shocking that it had him stumbling in shock as he glanced about at the colourful finger paintings and bright array of plants that he didn’t even notice the way the group of preschoolers stared up at him in awe, or, for that matter, the fact that you were standing before him... until you weren’t. The force of his sprint landed you on the floor with nothing but a surprised “ooft!” coming from your lips, and an echoing round of shocked and anxious gasps from your students.

After an awkward round of apologising, and continuing to call out long after he had checked you were alright and helped you up, he was off, making his way once more, the sound of “sorry!” fading away as he drifted further down the corridors.

One chance meeting suddenly turned into more. It seemed wherever he turned, there you were. Grabbing a late meal at the same time, having your med-checks one after the other… it was as if fate itself had decided the two of you simply had to interact.

You filled his mind, someone so normal amongst the chaos of war. And while he may not have realised it, he began to seek you out.

Chatting with your kids about flying, bringing back interesting plants he saw on his adventures, there was always a reason to see you, after-all, Poe Dameron was the King of Excuses.

But you brought him a sense of hope and home, something he had missed for far too long, and he wasn’t about to give that up anytime soon.

[lee-scribbles-and-doodles]

My Top Ten Overlooked Movies With Female Leads In No Particular Order

Note: When you see this emoji (⚠️) I will be talking about things people may find triggering, which are spoilery more often then not. I mention things that I think may count as triggers so that people with them will be aware before going in to watch any of these.

Edited: 3/16/21

Hanna (2011)

So, before I get into why you should watch this movie, I just want to take a moment to say why it's near and dear to my heart. Growing up as a queer kid in the early 2000s, seeing portrayals of people like or similar to myself on anything was rare at best. It was mostly in more "adult" movies or shows that my parents would occasionally let me watch with them that I'd see any lgbtq+ rep at all. Often times they were either walking stereotypes, designed to be buried, evil, or all three.

Then here comes this PG-13 action thriller with a wonderfully written main female lead who, at the time, was close to my age, and who got to kiss another girl (her very first friend, Sophie) on screen in an extremely tender and heartwarming scene. To say the least, it was a life changing moment for me personally.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, Hanna is a suspenseful movie about a child super-soldier named, you guessed it, Hanna (played by Saoirse Ronan) and her adoptive (?) father Erik Heller (played by Eric Bana) exiting the snowy and isolated wilderness of their home and taking on the shadowy CIA operative, Marissa Wiegler (played by Cate Blanchette) who wants Erik dead and Hanna for herself for mysterious reasons.

It also has an amazing soundtrack by the Chemical Brothers, great action scenes, and it has an over arching fairytale motif, which I'm always a sucker for.

⚠️ Mild blood effects, some painful looking strikes, various character deaths, and child endangerment all feature in this film. However, given its PG-13 rating, a majority of viewers are presumably able to handle this one. Still, be aware of these going in.

Sidenote: It's recently gotten a TV adaptation on Amazon TV, although I have not watched it, and do not know if Hanna and Sophie's romantic/semi-romantic relationship has transferred over.

A Simple Favor

A Simple Favor is a "black-comedy mystery thriller" centered entirely around the relationship between two mothers, the reclusive, rich, mysterious, and regal Emily (played by Blake Lively), and the local recently widowed but plucky mommy blogger, Stephanie (played by Anna Kendrick). When Emily suddenly goes missing, Stephanie takes it upon herself to find out what happened to her new best friend.

It's a fantastic and entertaining movie throughout, with fun, flawed and interesting characters. The relationship between the two female leads is also implied to be at least somewhat romantic in nature, and they even share a kiss.

⚠️ The only major warnings I can think of is that the movie contains an instance of incest and one of the main plotlines revolves around child abuse, although both of these potentially triggering topics are not connected to each other, so there is thankfully no csa going on.

Edit: I legitimately forgot there was drug use in this movie until now. So, yeah, if that's a trigger, be careful of that.

I Am Mother

I became mildly obsessed with this movie when it came out. I Am Mother is a sci-fi film that centers entirely around a cast of two woman, and a female-adjacent robot who is brought to life on screen with absolutely amazing practical effects.

The plot is such, after an extinction-level event, a lone robot known only as Mother tasks herself with replenishing the human race via artifical means. She begins with the film's main protagonist, Daughter. Years go by as Mother raises her human child and the two prepare for Daughter's first sibling (a brother) to be born. However, on Daughter's 16th birthday, the arrival of an outsider known only as Woman shakes Daughter's entire world view. She begins to question Mother's very nature, as well as what's really going on outside the bunker she and her caretaker call home.

⚠️ This movie features child endangerment and reference to child death.

Lilo and Stitch

When I decided to add a single Disney film to this list I initially thought it was going to be hard but almost immediately my brain went to Lilo and Stitch, and specifically about the relationship between Lilo and Nani.

On the surface, this film is about a lonely little girl accidentally adopting a fugitive alien creature as a "dog," but underneath that the story is also about two orphaned sisters and the older sister's attempts to not let social services tear them apart by stepping up as the younger sister's primary guardian. Despite its seemingly goofy premise, Lilo and Stitch has a very emotional and thoughtful center. It's little wonder how this movie managed to spawn an entire franchise.

Despite the franchise it spawned (or possibly because of it), I often find that Lilo and Stitch is overlooked and many people only remember it for the "little girl adopts an alien as a pet" portion of its plot, and I very rarely see it on people's top 10 Disney lists.

⚠️ This movie could be potentially triggering to people who were separated from their siblings or other family members due to social service intervention. There's also a bit of child endangerment, including a scene where Lilo and Stitch both almost drown.

Nausicaä and the Valley of the Wind

Unlike the above entry, I did struggle a little bit with picking a single Studio Ghibli film. Most media of the Ghibli catalogue have strong, well-written, unique, and interesting female leads so selecting just one seemed like quite the task.

However, I eventually settled on this particular film. In recent months, Princess Nausicaä has become my absolute favorite Ghibli protagonist and I'm absolutely enchanted by the world she lives in.

Set in a post-apocalyptic world overun by giant insects and under threat of a toxic forest and its poisoness spores, Nausicaä must try to protect the Valley of the Wind from invaders as she also tries to understand the science behind the toxic forest and attempts to bridge the gap between the insects and the humans.

For those who have never seen the film, I think Nausicaä's personality can best be described as being similar to OT Luke Skywalker. Both are caring, compassionate, and gentle souls who are able to see the best in nearly anyone or anything. She's an absolutely enthralling protagonist and after rewatching the film again for the first time in well over a decade she has easily become one of my all time favorite protagonists.

Whenever I see people talk about Ghibli films, they rarely mention this one, and when they do mention it, it's often in passing. In my opinion it's a must watch.

⚠️ This movie contains some blood, and the folks who either don't like insects or who have entomophobia may not appreciate the giant bugs running about throughout the movie. (Although most insects do not directly relate to real life bugs, and are fantasy creatures).

A Silent Voice

A Silent Voice is an animated movie adaptation of a manga of the same name. While I've never had the pleasure to read the manga, the movie is phenomenal. It covers topics such a bullying, living in the world with a disability, the desire for atonement, social anxiety, and depression in a well thought out manner that ties itself together through the progression of the relationship between its two leads, Shoya and Shouko. It's also beautifully animated. Although very popular among anime viewers, I've noticed that it's often overlooked by people who watch little to no anime. So I suppose this is me urging non-anime viewers to give this film a chance.

⚠️ As mentioned above, the movie deals with bullying, anxiety, and depression (with this last one including suicidal thoughts and behaviour). If discussion of those topics are triggering to you, than you may want to proceed with caution or skip this movie all together.

In This Corner of The World

Another manga adaptation, this one taking place during WWII-era Japan. In This Corner of The World follows the life of a civilian Japanese woman, Suzu Urano, as she navigates simply living and her new marriage as the wartime invades nearly all aspects of everyday life. I think this movie is a good representation of what it must be like to be living as civilian in a country at war where the fight is sometimes fought on one's own soil. It was also an interesting look into pre-50s Japanese culture in my opinion. It's also beautifully animated featuring an art style I don't see often.

Despite it being well known among anime fans, I never really see it be brought up, even among said anime fans themselves.

Side note: I've seen many WWII dramas centering around civilians but they've almost always been about American or UK civilians. This was the first movie I'd seen that features the perspective of a Japanese civilain.

⚠️ Features the death of a child and limb loss. There's also a disturbing scene featuring a victim of one of the atomic bombs near the end.

Wolf Children: Ame and Yuki

This film follows Hana, a Japan-native woman who fell in love with a magical shape-shifting wolf-man, and her trials with raising their children, who can also magically shape-shift into wolves, on her own. It's a very heartfelt movie about a mother's love and the struggles of doing right by your children when you have limited resources to actively guide and care for them. All the characters feel unique and alive in my opinion. Also, the animation is so good that my sister and I initially mistook it for a Ghibli film.

Again, like the previous two anime entries, I don't see it ever brought up outside of anime circles.

⚠️ There's some child endangerment present in the film, although none of it is the fault of Hana as far as I can remember.

Roman Holiday

Roman Holiday is about the fictional Princess Ann (played by Audrey Hepburn), who while on a whirlwind tour of Europe, finally reaches her breaking point over having her entire life be one big schedule and all her words and actions being rehearsed. In the spur of the moment, she runs away in hopes of experiencing what life is like for other women. Unfortunately, she was previously given a sedative, meaning she doesn't get too far before it takes effect. Fortunately, she is found by the kind reporter Joe Bradley (played by Gregory Peck). Believing her to be drunk and unable to get an address from her (because she has none) he ends up taking her home for safety's sake and allows her to sleep off her suppose drunken stupor. The next day, he realizes who she is, and decides to take her on a fun sight seeing trip across Rome in hopes of getting the big scoop. Along the way, they begin to fall for each other.

This is my favorite black and white, old romance film. I think the relationship between the main characters is absolutely beautiful and I have a lot of fun watching it.

⚠️ I'm not entirely sure what kind of warning this film would need. However, it was released in 1953, so values dissonance will probably be at play for many viewers to at least some extent. For example, early in the film Ann is given sedation drugs by her doctor for her behavior, something that is very unlikely to happen today. Also, Mr Bradley deciding to take Ann home to keep her safe rather than call the police or an ambulance is a very pre-90s decision in my opinion.

[roanniee]

SO.

Let's try this again🤸🏻

Also Idil vibes strong on this one. I can't say Gil bc Gil calls Ate Sel smth specific like she does with me.

Ship the @mythos-blogs Crew

ps. here's the server <3

@admiringlove

Baby Sam is very hard working and focused on whatever she's doing that sometimes, she forgets to take care of herself. So, I see Sugawara Koushi with her perfectly, someone caring and understanding, but knows better than to let her overwork and tells her when enough is enough. The both of you do struggle with a few things, and when you fight or have insecure moments, you sit down to talk about it instead of shouting at each other. Overall, a really good match I say.

Baby Sam also kins Oikawa and I ship Oikawa hardcore with Suga LMAO

@ninjamomo

Me. That's my wife <333

Okay but for realsies. I ship Idil with Bokuto Koutarou. Bokuto and Idil would be just... soft love. I see dancing in the rain, bathtub relaxation hours together and cuddling in bed. Idil knows that Bokuto is a busy man, and Bokuto knows he is a busy man. But that doesn't mean that they were gonna let the relationship go. Oh no. Those two will hold on like a cat with his claws on the couch. A really really soft, supportive and strong love.

@tooru-luvs

I actually had a hard time with Ms. Zizi. See, I haven't interacted with her much. But, based on the interactions of hers that I see on my tl, I can see that she is very playful but also can be serious. Hence, why I say that she'd be amazing with Kuroo Tetsurou. Kuroo is playful and an overall gremlin, but he's very caring ang knows exactly when to be serious and how serious. He'll help her with anything he can help her with, but he also knows when no to because it's something Zizi needs to do for herself. Likewise, Zizi knows when to be cheery to make Kuroo smile, but also when to sit and talk to Kuroo about a delicate matter. They'd both ground each other, while matching the same playful energy.

@rokudaddie

HEY I CAN TAG HER NOW KSKSKS

ME ME ME ME ME

anyways hehe. Gly. Lovely, sweet, Gly. She's very caring, but my god does she also enjoy chaos. Hence, I'm putting her with Hoshiumi Korai. We all know Hoshiumi is a little gremlin with a heart of gold. The way these two are together would be immaculate. They're chaos together, but even with all the chaos, they have time to look at the other to make sure they're okay. PLUSSS! Hoshiumi will always unconsciously be touching Gly, just to make sure that she's there. Gly would unconsciously make sure that Hoshiumi is in her peripheral vision too.

@moonlit-island

Ooooh Raya! Raya is so damn sweet and caring and uplifting. I love her sm. Hehehe anyway I ship her with Tsukishima Kei. The Tarot cards said so, and so did the zodiac signs. SKSKS Anyway! Yes, a really good match. Raya's got a really good head on her shoulders, but I see her watching all the chaos from the sidelines, much like Tsukishima. When they're together, they'd start the chaos and then sit back and eat popcorn as they watch the world burn.

@laineeey00

Ate Laine? Some will definitely say Kita, because it's Ate Laine, but I say Hirugami Sachiro. Hirugami would be such a good man for Ate Laine. I imagine them sitting down in the living room, books spread out on the table. Just silence while studying, but every now and then, one of them would look up to look at the other, smile and then return back to what they were doing. Ate Laine makes sure that Hirugami takes breaks and Hirugami makes sure that Ate Laine isn't stressing so much. Just so cute honestly.

@betheydocrimewrites

Ah, Adult Sam. Hmmm. Adult Sam is a whirlwind of chaos and sweet, sweet angst. I definitely see them with darling Yamaguchi Tadashi. I see them in bed, Sam on his laptop, and him just hugging them tight when something they were writing was choking them up. But, Sam is just overall an amazing person that they deserve someone so sweet and caring like Yamaguchi. Obvi, it is reciprocated, and I see such a sweet love in the works.

@melsun

Oooh. Alice.

Melian and Matsukawa Issei would make a very interesting pairing. Both independent yet still co-dependent on each other. Melian knows how to calm Matsukawa after a tough day at work, and Matsukawa knows how to keep Melian from stressing. Matsukawa would also hype Melian up so much?? Like any outfit Melian wears, Matsukawa's right there telling them how good and amazing they look and how well they matched the outfit up. Honestly, just a very functional household and I love that.

@lovemeian

oh oof Lavi. I want to say Meian but for reasons I cannot disclose, I won't say that for now. I will say though, that she will be so good with Dabi. Lavi has a few things she needs to work on, and Dabi is always there for her. Actually lbr, they both have issues to work on, but I feel like together, they'd overcome that. I feel like they'd?? Actually be so understanding of each other that it shocks and confuses others bc?? hello it's Dabi?? but yes, a really good match.

@writewithmarites

Me <3

Severus Snape. Ate Tes is chaotic. I'm sorry but her default in the server is chaos, especially with the bot around HAHAHAHA but anyway! Severus would be so good to ground Ate Tes, keep her from getting a little too chaotic BUT ALSO, he can help her when she's not taking care of herself. She also helpes him with his potions, and it makes the job easier on him. But of course, Severus is a slytherin, and most of the time he'd be the one inciting the chaos and we just don't know it. Anyway, Ate Tes is honestly so wonderful and I love her sm and she deserves someone to tame like the serious, bratty, angsty Severus Snape. <333

@saudade-mayari

ME. AGAIN LMAO. <3

ANYWAY

Nozel Silva. Nozel and Ate Sel. Oh gosh what a thought. Nozel is....arrogant, prideful, and he sees himself as someone more important than others. But, the man does know respect and he does care for people, especially Ate Sel. I have no doubts that Ate Sel can make that man kneel and follow her wishes, but I also know that Ate Sel would not let this man get away with his arrogance and pride. Nozel cares for her a lot. She's his partner, the carrier of the future of House Silva, and the only one that has caught his attention. He loves her, and that man would drop nearly everything for her.

@risumu

Eris! Eribabe and Ojiro Aran. Idek why. But the vibes would be so immaculate. I see road trips and early morning dancing in the kitchen to an indie song one of them is hyperfixated on. I also see late night walks to the convenience store, holding hands and just silence? Basking in each other's prescence. Eris definitely steals Aran's sweaters to the point that Aran buys two of his sizes so he can interchange them. One to give to Eris when the one she took doesn't smell like him anymore. Love all over the place.

@sunarent

Mel. That's it.

Okay but also, I see Iwaizumi Hajime. I was thinking about Suna but the more I think back about the things I know about Ali and our interactions, I see Iwa. I feel like they'd understand each other so much. And the love isn't seen much, not because they don't love each other, but because it's something they need to say really. It's more shown in the touches and kisses and cuddling. They know that they love each each other, and that's enough for them.

@tetsvhoe

Honestly I want to say Kuroo but.

Kozume Kenma. Gwennie works so hard and stresses so much. Her sleeping sched is unavailable lmao. Kenma would be so good for her because he knows how it is, to be stressed and not have an actual sleeping sched. I feel like they'd be good together. In all honesty, they'd probably take care of each other more than they would themselves but no one is complaining really.

@slutbench

MY BABYYYY. MY DAUGHTER. I LOVE YOU SM AND I SWEAR I'M NOT MAD.

I ship you with...

Azumane Asahi. Why? Because you remind me of Noya sometimes. Very energetic, a little bit of low moments and just a ball of sunshine in general. Asahi is perfect for you, Mija. He'd be able to just connect with her in ways others just don't understand. People would say that Asahi is too...soft? They'd say someone like Daicho or maybe Bokuto would be better for you, Mija, but really, he's perfect. Asahi and Gil. He balances her out in so many ways, even if no one else can see it.

@ushisrever

NIA!

Ushijima Wakatoshi. Really, the two of them are perfect. Stoic, quiet, can be chaotic. Very protective, even if the two deny it. Nia, you and Ushi are like...pillars? Support? Quiet, unmovable, but still, everyone knows you're both there, and you don't really leave people's minds. I see the two feeding off of each other's energy, especially when it comes to protecting others that they care about. (Looking at you, Lavi) I see hours where it's just her watching him playing in the background and he just looks at her, smiles, and then goes back to playing. It's really cute.

@sumebreaks

MAIA! HI! We haven't interacted much, I'm so sorry for that sweets. bUT BUT BUT!!!!

You're so sweet and caring and loving??? I really see you with Miya Atsumu! I see Tsumu bugging you to take a break and give him attention. BUT! I also see you?? Bugging him, telling him to get off the court or he's sleeping on the couch HAHAHA I feel like you two really just? Connect. Both playful, both caring, both are busy with their own things so there's not too much expectations that cannot be met for now. Idk I really see a love that's always there, no matter how busy they get.

@vindictivtsumu

AAAAAH DEVON HUN!

I love Devon and their writing so much??? Omg. Yknow who would be amazing with them? Akaashi Keiji. Akaashi is very articulate and just overall book smart in my opinion, and I see that him and Devon would fit so well. He is Devon's personal beta reader HAHAHAH BUT!!!!! Devon also watches Akaashi edit and points out anything that he missed. I see days when they're just sitting there, talking softly to each other that the sound of typing was louder. But that's okay bc you both are content and happy and in love.

@ricflairdrip20

I just met you not even 24 hours ago hehehe HIIII

I will not lie.

I asked for help from Ate Sel HAHAHHAHA

But!!!! She says Ukai Keishin, and honestly I see it. The nsfw-rp channel is the reason why and I'm not saying more HAHAHAHA I see nights when it's Keishin and her just? Idk having fun and being kids bc lbr that man can be a kid sometimes. I also see them taking care of each other in unconventional ways, ways that would not be okay for others, but it's her love language with him. V v v domestic.

I HOPE Y'ALL MYTHOS CREW LIKED THAT MATCHING UP BYE

[brockadoodles]

Heartbreak and a New Tattoo - w. nylander

AN: Uhhhhhhhh. Definitely didn’t intend on posting a fic tonight but, cranked this out. It started off as meaning to be fluffy and cute but uh, my angsty cold heart said no? I’m trying to be better about writing shorter stuff, so let me know what you think! I’m gonna tag @broadstbroskis​ and @jasondickinsonss​ since they’re my resident willy pals. 

Word Count: 2653

Warnings: Angst, happy ending though. 

No one warned you that you would lose a piece of yourself when you fell in love. They didn’t caution you about how for every good moment, the ones that make your head spin and your heart race, there would be a chip of your own sense of person falling away. They didn’t tell you that after four years with someone, you slip into their habits, nestling tightly into their life. So much so that you aren’t even sure what direction you’re facing, because everything around you was built by him. It wasn’t that William did anything wrong. In fact, he did everything a partner should. His life was logistically a chaotic nightmare, each step felt like he was balancing on a rope, trying to get to the other side. But he was good at it, he always prioritized you, even when it was hard. The only problem was that he didn’t know the very rope he was stuck on was fraying. 

It had started small, the cracks between you. The calls during road trips became shorter, less engaged. By the time either of you realized what was happening, it was just two people who once aligned into one breathing on a deadline out of obligation because it felt like that was what you were supposed to do. By the time you realized that the person you thought you were, wasn’t anyone recognizable without William by your side, you irresponsibly thought that it was time to let go. So, you let go of the visions of marriage and a family, of the house you dreamed of building together once things settled down, of the thoughts of the holidays spent together, each one more special than the last. You let it all go, taking a seam ripper to the last bits of thread connecting your souls. You couldn’t decide what hurt worse, the demise of what you thought was forever, or the fact that William didn’t put up a fight as you packed your things and left. 

William didn’t know what hit him when you muttered that you were leaving. He was so sure it had to be a mistake, that there had to be some piece of information missing that would fix everything. He felt his chest caving in, the weight of you packing your bags codifying a new language into his head, one that didn’t include you. He spent weeks circling through the last few months before you ended it. Writing down and analyzing every fight, every night spent without talking to each other when he was gone, trying to piece together what moment made you leave. What he could have done to save the very thing that was destined to fall apart no matter how much super glue he tried to stick to it. You needed to find yourself again, and no matter how badly he longed to help you, he needed to let you go. 

When William came back into Toronto in September, he was incessantly telling himself that he was doing better, that the fresh season would throw him back into a familiar enough routine that he could finally adjust to life without you. But familiarity breeds nostalgia, and nostalgia controlled the heartbreak he had spent the last few months trying to let go of. It wasn’t until he was back in the apartment that you shared that the resentment stage of his grief had tucked into his heart. 

The resentment was the worst part of the breakup. Because he didn’t want to resent anything about you. He had gotten four years to love you as best as he could, and he didn’t want to replace all of the memories of love with a feeling of regret. He didn’t regret loving you, even if it ended the way that it had. He didn’t regret thinking he was going to marry you, and when he finally moved on from the resentment stage of grief, he realized that sometimes you can put your all into someone and they simply might not be able to give you all of it back. He was slowly starting to thread the foundation of a new rope, he was starting to move on. But when he saw you standing there in your dark blue dress, your hair a bit shorter than the last time he had seen you, talking to Steph, he dropped the newly constructed rope off the ledge. 

You on the other hand were spending your summer trying to piece together the remaining fragments of your own being, the person who you were before you met William. You were doing okay, as okay as someone could be when they had just ended a four-year relationship with the person that they assumed would be the one. You spent months lying to yourself about being okay. You spent months trying to convince yourself that you didn’t make a mistake, that you didn’t leave because you couldn’t handle being honest with him about how you were feeling. 

It was October and you knew he was back in the city. Hockey had started which meant that his presence was now one you actively had to avoid. You took the long way into the city and back home most days, actively avoiding the arena, knowing that being there would be too much. This half-hearted way of living in the city you called home was manageable, until December when you finally had the courage to unpack the remaining boxes from the home you shared together. 

You were going through a notebook when it fell out, Mitch and Steph’s wedding invitation from over a year ago now. You picked up the card, eyes welling with the tears you had shoved down for the last six months as you remembered that weekend. The weekend you realized Will was your person. 

“I can’t believe you and Mitch are finally getting married.” You hummed to Steph as you slid off your heels and collapsed onto the hotel bed. You had always admired Mitch and Steph, their relationship was one that was the definition of two people who fit together seamlessly, and made the choice to make it work between them. It wasn’t a fairytale or a whirlwind, it was real and raw and you couldn’t be happier as you laid in that hotel bed, dress and makeup still on, half-drunk from the overpriced cocktails that the boys kept flowing after they crashed the bachelorette party, that two of your closest friends were getting married in just two days. 

“God, I know. Is it weird I’m not nervous about it at all?” Steph called from around the corner. You stood up, your feet slightly throbbing from being in heels all night and your mind feeling a bit fuzzy from the drinks as you rounded the corner and saw her taking off her makeup in the mirror. 

“No, you and Mitch are just right, ya know? It works.” You looked at her hand, eyes shifting to the diamond sitting perfectly on her ring finger, sparkly and bright and perfect for her. You grabbed your phone from the counter where you had left it earlier in the evening, not wanting to bring it out with you while you and the girls celebrated with Steph. You looked at the home screen, a small notification catching your eye as you unlocked the phone and hit play on the voicemail. Steph grabbed the phone from your hand, a knowing smile on her face as she turned the volume on the speaker up, William’s voice filling the small hallway before you had the chance to stop it. 

“Hey baby, you’re probably back in the room by now. I just wanted to say that you looked amazing tonight, and I know we can’t be together tonight because of the traditions and all that, but I love you and will be thinking of you.” 

Steph handed you the phone back, a stupid smirk evident on her face that you were pretending to ignore. You went back toward your suitcase, sliding the dress off of your body and throwing on one of Willy’s old sweatshirts and a pair of shorts. You sat on the bed, fingers hovering over your phone as you thought of a message to type back to your boyfriend, a smile lingering on your cheeks from his message. 

“You know what he said to me the night he met you? Granted, he was shitfaced, but I still think it’s relevant.” Steph smirked as she came around the corner, crawling onto the other side of the bed and turning to face you. You rolled your eyes at her and set your phone down, ignoring her slightly as she started speaking again,

“He told me ‘I’m gonna marry her one day Stephanie, just wait.’” 

You let yourself cry over that memory, and for the first time since the breakup, you realized that you were worse off without him, that you had ended something entirely too good for reasons you didn’t understand. You picked up the phone to call more times than you could count, only to set it back down again, torturing yourself with the idea that you had made your decision, and you needed to lay with it.

You were in such a daze when he walked up to you, nerves settling into your stomach at the sight of him. He didn’t look like your Willy anymore, he looked like a hollow version of the man you still were hopelessly in love with, the one that you ultimately played the biggest hand in breaking. You followed him without a word when he asked you if you could talk because the truth was that you would follow William anywhere if it meant that maybe you could get a piece of him back. 

It was awkward for a few moments, both of you riddled with nerves, wondering who was going to dare to break first and say what they were truly thinking about. It was agonizing, being so close to him for the first time in such a long time, and it only made your own doubts about leaving him to come back to your chest in full force. William grabbed your hand quickly, threading his fingers through yours before finally speaking, being the first one to crack the eggshells that you were both walking on. 

“Do you sleep well without me? Because I don’t. I don’t think I’ve slept since June when you left.” He said, head hanging down as if the words he was speaking were in some way shameful. Your heart wanted to break for him because you had been in the same situation for so long, nights feeling long and empty without him there. But part of you was almost feeling some weird sense of satisfaction at knowing he was hurting just as badly as you. You weren’t surprised he dove right in, head first. It was what he always did. He had known you for so long, there wasn’t a point in dancing around saying he missed you now that he had the chance to tell you so, he had already been doing enough to push it away on his own. He didn’t want to keep pushing something that he was starting to realize wasn’t meant to go away. 

“No, willy. I haven’t slept well since we broke up.” You shook your head, opting to tell the truth because up until this point, lying to pretend you were fine had only left you empty, with a broken heart that you didn’t know how to heal. 

“I stayed up until 6 am just because at least then if I called you might be awake. I felt like I was watching myself just get worse and worse, and all I wanted was you. I’m not supposed to want you anymore, William.” 

“I would have answered, I would always answer.” 

“It’s not the same, you know it’s not.” William sighed softly at your words as he let them run in tedious circles through his head. He had spent the better part of the last six months missing you and replaying the events from the summer wondering if you were both wrong for what had happened. Your love story had been like a journey by train, exciting when you’re young and tiring when you get older. It was great until one of you, who could even remember who at this point, had gotten off during a stop and the other one continued on the journey alone and by the time you both reached the final destination, the two different trips couldn’t merge into one anymore. But the problem was that maybe the final destination was all wrong, maybe you were supposed to get off the train because now you could come back together and start a different trip together, one that isn’t tiring when you’re older. 

He looked over at you quickly and let his eyes linger on the features of your face, the ones he used to have memorized hidden by the obvious toll the breakup had taken on you, too. He couldn’t help but think about how if he were to take one look in a mirror that he had been avoiding for the past six months, he probably wouldn’t recognize himself either. 

“I tried to call you,” he started, voice tentative and unsure as you turned to look at him. Your eyes were blurry, and your mind nearly blacked out at the five words he just spoke. Five words that maybe could change everything, or perhaps they would have if you had seen the call in the first place. You tilted your head softly as William ran his hand through his hair. 

“But, your voicemail was full.” You looked away from him, the pain in your chest creeping back in as you took in his second set of five words. Your voicemail, the one that had been filled with messages from him, from times where you were happy, and from drunken nights after the breakup where he sometimes would call and all you would hear on the other end was silence. 

“I couldn’t bring myself to delete them, I just wanted a place where I would be able to hear your voice and have it be just for me,” you smiled sadly, letting the tears blur your vision as you stood up. You didn’t know what to do, this all felt suffocating and overwhelming and yet definitive at the same time. This was it, you were either getting William back, or you were letting him go forever. The choice should have been a simple one and yet it was almost more complicated than the initial choice to breakup had been because at least when you did that, you both thought it was what you wanted. Now you were presented with either putting your heart out in the open, tossing it carefully to the person you had known for so long and putting your trust in him to catch it, or you were running the risk of him dropping it and leaving you crumbled on the floor as you tried to pick up the remnants of whatever would be left after a fumble that big. 

“I spent Christmas without you, please don’t make me spend New Years without you, too.” 

“I don’t want to spend any day without you again.” You whispered, resting your hand on his cheek. William smiled at you and pulled you close into his chest. He tilted your head up and connected his lips to yours, something that you both had spent the last six months missing. You settled into him, feeling your fears melt with each moment that passed. The breakup had left heartache in both of you, but it was necessary to put your real love into permanent ink on both of your chests. A new start, one without heartbreak and with a new tattoo. 

[abbysfrenchbraid]

Kissed by a Wolf - Chapter 9

masterlist

in this chapter, the reader takes up combat training with Eivor and goes on a walk with Valka. I hope you all have some wonderful days with your loved ones!

CW for alcohol consumption, choking/assault imagery, nudity

Inspo pic by @classicnovaproductions​

Heather

The next few days were filled with training, tasks, and getting to know people. You got up early every morning and either joined Valka for a few hours of learning about healing and plants, sometimes at her hut, sometimes on walks through the forest, or you helped Sfáva in the kitchen, preparing food for the day or running errands for her. Around noon you ate with your old friends and in the afternoon you had taken up training with Eivor.

 Eivor’s wound was healing well, but she was not yet allowed to train heavily so she was all the happier to have you to instruct and guide.

 You had been working with a short sword, first wooden, then metal, for a few afternoons now and while it was still extremely hard to swing, you started seeing a smoothness in your movements. When you stepped into the training area with the straw dummies and wooden targets, the sun already hung low on the horizon and tiny snowflakes were fluttering from a singular cloud in the sky. The days were at their shortest now, Winter solstice was only two nights away.

 “There you are!” You turned to see Eivor, dressed in thick leather and furs, with two axes in her hands. She looked lovely, her lashes and hair embezzled by ice crystals and her breath moving through the air like clouds in strong wind. She gave you the smaller axe and fastened the other one to her belt.

 “I want to introduce you to another weapon today. I have a feeling you’ll be good with the axe.”

 You weighed it in your hand. It was wooden with a dark metal blade; thin red leather strips were wrapped and fastened around the bottom for better grip.

 “How do I wield it?” You tried a few slow strokes through the air. Eivor stepped behind you, closing her arms around you as she grabbed the axe and your hands with it, encasing your fingers in her soft, warm palms. Her mouth was right next to your ear and when she spoke, her breath tickled your skin.

 “You hold it with a firm grip, but make sure your wrists stay loose. Don't stiffen your arms, keep them moving and natural. Engage your core while you swing so the weight of the weapon doesn’t pull your body with it.” She lifted your hands with the axe to your top right and made a slow, perfectly diagonal cut to your bottom left.

 “Never swing straight down unless you’re absolutely positive you will hit something. Otherwise, you might hit yourself. You can swing upwards, too.” She guided your hands from left to right with a slightly upward motion. “Never straight, though.”

 She let go of you and stepped around you.

 “If you need more momentum, you can turn and swing the axe just at chest level, drag it up or down into your target.” She took your hands and twirled you around as if you were dancing, then she grabbed them tightly and executed a quick stroke through the air.

 “It is also important that you practice to stop this motion if you miss. You need strong arms and again, an engaged core. Try it.”

 She took a few steps back and you assumed your fighting stance and tried a few cuts through the air. Eivor was right, you needed strength to move the axe without flinging your whole body around and you also needed the strength to stop its flight. She was watching you with crossed arms, biting her lip as she closely observed your every move.  After a while, she nodded.

 “Try it on the straw figure. I’ll show you a combination.” She took the heavy axe from her belt and stood in front of the straw man. Suddenly she became a whirlwind, hacking at the figure three, four times and sending straw flying everywhere. Then she repeated the combination slowly, showing you a diagonal cut from the top left to bottom right, a horizontal blow from the right, a counter-clockwise turn into a full-force blow to the neck from the right, and at last a skull-splitting hit from the top down.

 You could only imagine the terror and fright it had to cause in her enemies to see her on the battlefield. She was glorious, turning to you with a glow in her eyes.

 “Now you.”

 You stood in front of the figure and repeated her example slowly at first, trying to remember the right order and direction. She nodded encouragingly and seemed satisfied with your precision. You dared to work faster and started continuously repeating the combination, over and over again, harder and faster every time until your lungs and shoulders were on fire and sweat was running down your temples. Eivor was cheering for you with her booming voice, yelling at you to go another round and to hit harder, to keep your core tight and your wrists loose.

 When you turned to her, out of breath and happy with your new weapon, she looked incredibly proud, smiling at you and stepping forward to grab your shoulders.

 “I knew this was the right weapon for you. We shall continue training with others, but I think it wise to focus on the axe from now on. You will be a force to be reckoned with.”

 You continued training until the sun was long gone, fighting the straw figures in the light of several torches, learning new moves and more difficult combinations from your      drengr,     and giving it your all until you had absolutely no strength left in a single fiber of your body. Eivor had made you run laps and fight every figure in the course, climb obstacles, and defend yourself from a figure behind you. In the end, all you could do was lay down on a snowed up ball of straw and try to regain control of your breath.

 Even though Eivor’s training was rigorous and she always managed to completely drain you, you felt the happiest after working with her every day, proud of your accomplishments and hard work and delighted at spending this much time with the warrior. She was also in high spirits every time, amazed at your quick learning progress and your willingness to push yourself until the very end.

 She let herself fall down on the straw next to you. It had stopped snowing and the last small cloud was slowly making way for a clear sky filled with thousands of stars.

 “You did well today.” Eivor’s voice was smooth as silk, and she sounded very content.

 “You’re a great teacher. It’s my pleasure,” you replied.”I never thought I’d be one for fighting.”

 You thought back to the kitchen on the day you had first met Eivor. William had hit you so hard you had been thrown back into the shelves and almost died later when the wound had festered. What would happen if he tried this now? Would you be able to defend yourself, even without a weapon?

 A meow tore you from your thoughts. Birna had come to pick you up for supper. Eivor greeted the cat with great enthusiasm and picked her up, cradling her in her arms.

 “Are you hungry, my little princess? We shall find you something to eat.”

 The cat answered with a satisfied grunt. You made your way to the longhouse together, all of your stomachs growling with hunger after the long day. Eivor gave you Birna and joined Sigurd at his table while you visited Sfáva at the hearth. She was delighted to see Birna and gave her some leftover ham right away.

 “You hungry?” She answered your surprised expression with her almost toothless smile. “I learn English now. Eda.”

 The old woman had only spoken Norwegian so far, making it hard for you to communicate. Apparently, Eda had started spending time with her and teaching her a few words of your language. Even though Sfáva spoke with a thick accent, it was wonderful to suddenly understand her. Following an impulse, you stretched out your arms in joy and she immediately hugged you tight, her smell of herbs and wool filling your nose. What a wonderful woman.

 “Well, may I have some supper?” you asked, stepping back and smiling at her. She grabbed a bowl right away, filling it with hot stew and sausages.

 “You always hungry now. You fight.” She gave you two additional slices of dark rye bread and you had to laugh. She was right. Ever since you had taken up training with Eivor, you ate twice as much as before. A voice next to you joined the conversation.

 “Well, the best fighters deserve the best food.” Norvid was standing next to you, grinning widely. “I saw you training the last couple of days. You are making great progress.”

 You lowered your head as a gesture of gratitude and thanked him for his kind words. It really did mean a lot to be noticed by the other warriors.

 “Did I hear that right? You chose the axe as your primary weapon?”

 You were surprised he knew.

 “Word travels fast here,” you answered him, “but yes, I think the axe calls to me more than other weapons. We’ll see how much I call to the axe in the days to come.”

 As you excused yourself and wished him a nice evening, you felt someone’s eyes on you and as you looked up, you could see Eivor watching your interaction with a sour expression on her face. When she caught your gaze, she turned to Sigurd and continued talking to him.

 You made your way to Lewin, Aelfric, and Hal and joined them for your meal. They had also heard about your endeavors on the training grounds and were happy for you. They all knew how much you had had to take back in Williamsburg and how good  it felt to become stronger and more confident now.

 “Has anyone seen Eda?” Hal asked casually while he wiped his bowl with a last piece of bread.

 No one had met her since she had left her cell and you were all desperate to know where she was and how she was doing. Maybe you could ask Randvi later. But you had been right in the assumption that she apparently just wanted some time to settle in and recover.

 You left the longhouse early instead of staying to drink and talk. You were sweaty and dirty and in desperate need of a bath. Valka had offered you to use hers whenever you wanted, you just needed to fill it yourself. You knew she was still in the longhouse and you were glad to have some time to yourself, quickly grabbing a fresh tunic and a large cloth from yours and Eivor’s hut.

 Valka’s cottage was only dimly lit by a few candles, but you did not light any more. You poured two buckets of water from outside into the kettle over the fire, then you went out a few more times and brought in as much snow as you could carry in your woolen shawl, letting it melt into the hot water. When it was warm enough, you filled it into the wooden bathtub and added some mint, sage, and lemon balm into it to help with your sore muscles.

 You left all your clothes on a pile next to Valka’s bed and stepped into the steaming water. Slowly sinking down into the bath, you took deep breaths to adjust to the heat and inhale the wonderful scents rising from the water. The candles were flickering and painting landscapes and figures on the wooden walls, the steam was dancing through the air and your muscles were finally starting to relax.

 After a while, you let yourself sink underwater, holding your breath as the water finally encased your head and your soft hair caressed your neck and shoulders. As you emerged, you began to rub off the dirt and sweat from your face and neck. A quiet noise at the entrance caught your attention.

 Eivor was standing in the door, frozen and bright red, her hand still on the handle. You could see her heart drop when your eyes met.

 “Forgive me Y/N, I didn’t mean to -” She rubbed over her eyes and stared at the floor. “Valka said I could take a bath in here, I didn’t know you…”

 Of course. You were absolutely sure Valka had known. The little witch. You had to stifle a laugh.

 “It’s alright, Eivor. I’m almost done. This bath is terribly dirty though, you should probably warm up some fresh water for yourself.”

 The blushing warrior just nodded and went out again to get water and snow. You noticed you had forgotten the soap on the sideboard. Should you get up and risk standing completely wet and naked in front of Eivor when she came back? It was not like she had not seen you naked before; she had washed and dressed you when you had been sick and feverish. But things were different now. Even though you still had not kissed since that unlucky drunk embrace, the tension between you often thickened the air and stopped your breath.

 You still did not feel completely ready to give yourself to Eivor, even though at times you wanted to. Randvi had been nice and respectful toward you since you had spoken to Eda and she had not moved in on Eivor anymore, but Eivor had also been mostly sober ever since.

 It had been an idea of yours to wait until the winter solstice when everyone would celebrate and drink to see how Eivor behaved and to decide then if you wanted to let her in. Even though the wait was torture sometimes, it would be worth it in the end and it would show her how serious you were about your conditions for this relationship to work.

 The door opened and Eivor came in, filling the cauldron with water and not daring to look in your direction.

 “Eivor, could you please hand me the pine soap over there? I need to tame this nest on my head.” The last few days had really taken a toll on your hair, the braids from the ceremony now ruffled and loose while dust, dirt, and sweat stuck to your hair.

 The blonde seemed to hesitate for a moment, then she took the dark piece of soap and slowly came over to you. When you saw how nervous she was, you suddenly felt a great calm and confidence come over you. Instead of covering or crouching in the water, you stayed splayed out and relaxed, visible for her under the surface. Red patches formed on Eivor’s neck as she handed you the soap, intent on only looking into your eyes.

 “Thank you.” You began lathering it in your hair and on your neck and chest. Eivor had moved to the fireplace, but she suddenly straightened up and half-turned.

 “I could… I can help you with your hair. If you want. I know how knotted it can get from training.”

 She took the wide-toothed comb Valka had used to detangle your hair the last time and took a step toward you. You smiled at her.

 “That would be nice. I’m still not used to maintaining it while wearing it down.”

 Eivor knelt down on the floor right behind your head and started running her fingers through your wet hair. Every time her fingertips touched your scalp, it felt like tiny flashes of lightning struck your skull. The warrior began to hum as she slowly combed out every strand of hair, starting from the bottom and working her way up. Finally, she grabbed a small pot, took some of the warm, clean water from the kettle, and poured it over your head to wash out any remains of the soap.

 As you began to get up, she held out a hand for you and helped you stand and step out of the tub. Like before, her eyes were fixed to yours as she handed you the large cloth to dry yourself off. You wrapped yourself in it, then you stepped to Valka’s great wooden table and took some of her Cedar oil, massaging it into your sore shoulders and arms. Meanwhile, Eivor dragged the heavy wooden tub to the door and emptied it into the bushes next to the hut before putting it back in its place and starting to fill it anew.

 You slipped the tunic over your head and let the sheet fall to the floor before wrapping all your dirty clothes in it. You decided to wash all your things right in the morning, Eivor’s clothes included. As you turned around to her, you were now the one caught off guard. She had already undressed and was stepping into the tub with her back to you.

 There were tattoos down her spine and on her shoulder blades, beautiful artwork in dark blue and black. She had loosened her braids and her long, wavy hair was falling down her back and over her shoulders. When she grabbed the sides of the tub and lowered herself into the hot bath, the muscles at her arms and back danced under her skin. My drengr.

 “I’ll see you at our hut?” you asked shyly. Eivor gave you a look that made your heart skip a beat.

 “Yes, my darling. I will join you there.”

 You had already fallen asleep from exhaustion when Eivor came back to your hut. She found you curled up with Birna. The quiet closing of the door woke you up and you kept your eyes closed, listening intently as Eivor threw her clothes on your pile in the corner, took off her shoes and slipped into bed with you.

 She smelled fresh, like soap and healing calendula and sage. Valka must have come back and given her infused oils, probably for her healing wound. Eivor scooted close to your back and you lifted your head slightly so she could slide her arm underneath your neck before hugging you tightly to her chest.

 “You smell nice,” you mumbled and pushed your hips back against her almost unnoticeably. You could tell she noticed very well though, her breath stopping for a moment before she replied.

 “You look beautiful when you sleep.” She pressed a light kiss to the soft patch of skin behind your ear and hugged you tight. Birna was purring quietly. Her family was all here.

 -

 After training your axe fighting for the entire next day, ignoring your sore muscles and pushing yourself even harder, you were picked up by Valka at the training grounds for a sunset walk. She had brought bread and dried fruit, as well as two big jugs of steaming hot mead.

 You thanked Eivor for another productive day and for her endless patience and confidence in you, then you dried off your face with a small cloth and slipped into your fur coat, gratefully taking a sip of mead.

 As you made your way on a path along the shoreline, Birna joined you for your walk. Even though she still did not like the snow, she had grown so fond of you that she rarely let you out of her sight anymore. Valka showed you where to still look for plants and how to dig for roots while you told her about the things you had learned today. She was happy with your progress, content that you were fulfilling her prophecy so closely.

 On a small meadow where thick fir trees spared some of the ground from the snow, you actually found small white flowers. Valka explained that it was winter honeysuckle, a beautiful little plant that was most beloved for its fragrance. She rubbed a few petals between her fingers and held them up to your nose. It smelled delightful. She would show you how to distill the essence of honeysuckle tomorrow.

 A while later, while the sun was already setting and drenching the world in beautiful orange-golden light, you found little red buds sticking out of the snow. It was heather, a flower usually associated with good fortune. You collected it all in a jute sack and Valka told you that the tiny buds could be used to aid with digestion and bladder issues. It astounded you every day, the way nature gave you everything you needed to heal and to help, to eat and drink, a cure for every illness and aid in every situation. You stuck one of the small heather branches into your shirt so it rested between your breasts, right over your heart. The winter solstice tomorrow would bring you luck and happiness, you could feel it.

 This year you would not celebrate Christmas as you had done your whole life, but instead, the solstice would herald Yuletide, twelve days of celebrations. There would be sacrifices and feasts, fights and dances, singing and storytelling. Valka’s eyes were gleaming when she told you of the traditions and her plans for this year’s feast. You could tell this was special to her and you had a feeling that it would be like nothing you had ever experienced.

 As you started to make your way back, daylight now dwindling fast and leaving the world gray and dim, you could hear a wolf howling in the distance. You shuddered, terrified of the wild beasts that had sometimes ripped apart your Lord’s sheep and dogs. Valka sensed your fear and took your hand in hers.

 “You must not be afraid of the wolves anymore, little dove. You belong to Eivor Wolfsmal and no wolf will ever harm you.”

 Her words made you think. Up until now, you had thought the name stemmed from her family or maybe a sweet story from her home, but you had never really considered a strong meaning behind it. Now that you thought of it, that was stupid. Only people who went through extreme pain or overcame great obstacles were given those kinds of titles.

 “Where did that name come from?” you asked Valka, “Wolf-kissed?”

 The healer squeezed your hand. It was dark and the lights of the village only slowly became visible in the distance, but the moon was bright and lit your path in the white snow.

 “You have to ask Eivor that, it is her story to tell. I can say however that it was not a mere kiss by the beast that gave her the title. Did you ever notice the scar on her neck?”

 Your stomach twisted. You knew the scar she was speaking of. It was dreadful and large, covering the entire right side of her neck from her hairline to her throat. You had thought it a burn mark or something obtained in a fight. Had it really been the result of a wolf attack? The thought scared you even more. Valka held your hand tightly in hers.

 “Ask her, she will tell you what happened. You need not be afraid, I promise.”

 As you finally came close to the village again, Valka stopped and turned to you.

 “I wanted to tell you how greatly I enjoy spending time with you. People come to me with questions all the time, but they just want to hear answers, they do not want to find the answers themselves or even learn how to ask the questions the right way. You truly listen to me and you have already learned so much. I hope I can teach you everything I know so that one day you may know more than me.”

 You wanted to laugh, but she was completely serious. You drew her in for a hug and mumbled your gratitude into her furs.

 “Thank you, Valka, for all you do. I am just as eager to learn and grow as you are to teach. You are a wonderful friend.”

 “Y/N, is that you? Valka?” A voice in the dark called out to you. A big figure was stomping along the path toward you from the village. It was Eivor, visibly agitated. “What the fuck are you doing?”

 You could see her breath in the moonlight as she came closer.

 “Uh… We collected plants for Valka and for the Yule festival?” You were not sure what you had done wrong. Eivor came to a halt in front of you and immediately pulled you into her arms, sighing as she pressed you close for a moment, then she held you at arm’s length and shot you both angry looks.

 “What were you thinking, alone out here in the dark without anyone to protect you or at least a torch? Have you gone mad? Thor's hammer, I was so worried! Valka, what is your explanation for this?”

 Valka seemed not at all impressed with Eivor’s display of rage and worry.

 “As Y/N said, we were collecting plants. The moon lit our way, we were close to the village and only walked along the shore. There was no need to worry. We are no longer in Norway, with bears and wolves all around.”

 You quickly glanced at her but decided to keep the howl you had heard to yourself. Eivor grunted, then she grabbed you both by the arms and began to stride back to the village, pulling you along with her. You could have sworn you heard Valka giggle, but the drengr between you ignored her.

 Back at the village Eivor told you, a little too sternly, to go to her hut and wait for her there. She had set up a basin with hot water for you to clean yourself and the clothes you had washed in the morning and hung in front of the fireplace would be dry by now.

 “I need to go to the longhouse and make more preparations for tomorrow. Valka, will you come with me?”

 The seeress just nodded, gave you a secretive smile, and went ahead. Eivor stayed behind with you. She sighed and pulled you in for another hug, kissing the top of your head and rubbing your back.

 “Don’t ever scare me like that again. I thought you were lost and I would have to call up everyone to go look for you, the day before Yule.”

 You wrapped your arms around her waist and looked up at her.

 “I apologize,” you mumbled. “I should have told you where we were going and how long we would be gone. I won’t leave you in the dark anymore.”

 “Thank you.” Eivor pressed another kiss to your temple. “I’ll see you later.” She left for the longhouse.

 Birna rubbed herself against your ankles - you had completely forgotten about her! She had followed you this entire time. You had to laugh as you picked up the cat and held her close; you had not been without protection after all.

 Back at your hut you dropped all of your clothes to the floor and splashed some of the warm water in the metal bowl into your cold face, relishing in the wonderful prickly sensation of your skin warming up. You cleaned your body with a small piece of soap and a cloth, then you slipped into a fresh tunic that was still warm from the fire.

 As you waited for Eivor, you mended a few holes in your clothes and the quilt that kept you warm in the cold winter nights. Picking up your clothes and folding them so you could stack them in the corner, you noticed the little branch of heather among the heaps of fabric and fur. You spun it between your fingers a few times, contemplating over the things you had learned from Valka today.

 The Yule festival would be wonderful and you were hoping to bond with the other clan members even more, maybe even to see Eda again. You noticed that you had forgotten to ask Randvi about her. Hopefully, the matter would resolve itself tomorrow. Even though you were on good terms with Randvi now, you were still not too keen on spending more time with her than was absolutely necessary.

 You were half asleep when you heard Eivor at the door and sat up to greet her. She seemed to be in a great mood.

 “How are the preparations going?” you asked, pulling the blanket up to your chin.

 “Oh, fantastic. We will slaughter an ox tomorrow and roast him over a great fire. We will eat like kings for days!” Eivor beamed at you and jumped into the bed, quickly sliding under the blanket and pressing her cold cheek to your shoulder, making you squeal and try to scramble away, but she only pulled you closer.

 After playfully wrestling with her for a moment, you settled down and she tucked a strand of hair behind your hair. An idea suddenly came to your mind.

 “Eivor, will you teach me how to fight without weapons?”

 “What do you mean, my dove?” She gave you a confused look.

 “I mean fighting like when you pulled Norvid off of me the other day. I want to learn to defend myself even if it’s not a life or death situation.”

  “Oh, I see.” She sat up. “Right now?”

 You had thought she could just put this into her training schedule for you, but you would not say no to a few new skills on the spot.

 “Why not?” You got up and stood next to the bed. Eivor stood next to you. Birna seemed to know exactly what was going on and hid under the bed.

 “Alright. First, what to do when someone hugs you without your approval. Show me what you would do.” She stepped closer and wrapped her arms around you. Your first instinct was to hug her back, but you remembered just in time that you were supposed to fight her off. You put your hands between you and tried to push against her ribcage, but she did not move an inch. Instead, she pressed you closer and you could not move your hands anymore.

 “See, this is your first mistake,” Eivor chuckled. “You gave up your hands. Never let them capture your limbs and if they have, try to free them first. What you could do now is either headbutt me, stomp on my foot, or kick me in the groin if your legs are free to move that way.”

 You slowly put your foot on hers and pressed down. She laughed at your careful movement and let go, then she hugged your ribcage again, leaving your arms free.

 “Now you could punch me in the ribs or the head, but as you have no training in that regard, I could probably take the hits and lock you in again. It’s better to go straight for the head. Grab it with both hands if you can and twist it away from your body.” You gently placed your hands around her head and turned it away. “If I don’t want you to snap my neck, my body has to move along.” She turned with her head and loosened her hug. You mimicked stomping on her foot and she let go completely, stepping back and grinning at you.

 “Perfect!” Eivor took your hand and whirled you around, suddenly grabbing you from behind and pinning your arms to your body.

 “Now how about this?” Her breath was hot behind your ear and sent shivers down your spine.

 You tried to wiggle free, scratched at her sides with your fingernails, and put all your strength into freeing your arms, but she held you in her iron grip. You resorted to stepping on her toes again, but she only loosened her grip slightly.

 “You need to drop your weight first,” she instructed. “Bend your knees and let yourself fall down, then smash my foot with yours.” You followed her command and she gave way enough to take a step forward. “Now kick your foot back and catch my knee.” You did as she told you and she let go before immediately pulling you in again.

 “You can also throw your head back and try to break my nose before taking that step forward and kicking my knee.” You tried it out carefully.

 “If you need to run away, always go for their knees or groin so they drop and cannot follow,” she reminded you. “Let’s go again.”

 With a playful growl, she jumped toward you and you squealed as she grabbed you from behind, then you let yourself fall down, stomped on her foot, and kicked her shin. She gasped in pain and let you go, rubbing the spot where you had hit her.

 “Good girl,” she groaned. “Remind me never to surprise you from behind.”

 You laughed and began to apologize, but she just grabbed you and threw you on the bed, pinning you beneath her. She sat up between your legs and pinned down your throat, keeping the weight of her hands on your collar bones instead of actually choking you. Her face was smooth and focused.

 “Now, what you do if someone is holding you down like so is this: You grab my left shoulder with your left arm, so go across” - you placed your hand on her shoulder, your pinky finger touching her burning hot skin - “then you press my right hand to your chest with your right hand and hold it tight there.”

 You grabbed her hand and pressed it to your collarbone, almost sure she could feel your heart beating faster in your chest.

 “Now you raise your right leg all the way up under my left armpit and wrap it across my back.” She waited until you had hooked your leg around her body, now completely entangled with the large woman on top of you.

“Your final move is raising up your left leg, pushing me further to the left with your hand on my shoulder, and lifting the leg over my head.” You suddenly realized that you were only wearing a tunic and linen undergarments, your legs wide open underneath her and your tunic sliding up to your stomach as you lifted your hips to wrap your legs around her shoulder. Your cheeks began to burn hot with blood, but you followed her orders quietly.

 “Now you have my shoulder in a tight lock, my head is pushed away from you and you have captured my right arm. If you pull it, it will seriously hurt me.” You immediately let go of her hand and she straightened up and smiled at you. You pulled your tunic down, blushing at the look she gave you.

 “Again, faster this time.” She repositioned herself between your legs and pressed her hands to your throat.

 You concentrated. Left hand to her left shoulder, right hand holding her right arm down, leg up, left leg over and pull. Eivor tapped your thigh and groaned again, rubbing her shoulder this time and moving her arm in circles a few times to loosen up the strained muscle. She looked quite impressed with you.

 Jumping up from the bed, you got in your fighting stance.

 “Let’s try again, full strength this time,” you said and you could see Eivor was stifling a grin. She would never risk hurting you.

 She got up and paused for a moment, then she moved in so quickly you had no chance to react, hugging you from the side and clamping down your arms. You tried to drop your weight, but she just pushed her hips forward and picked you up, your legs flailing in the air uselessly. She threw you on the bed like a sack of flour, then she straddled you and pinned down your wrists above your head.

 You were so stunned that you did not even attempt to wriggle free, staring up at the blonde above you. Her icy blue gaze burned into your face, her mouth was slightly open and her breath fast as her eyes wandered to your lips. Slowly, she lowered her head down toward yours, her gaze still fixed to your lips and her grip tight around your wrists.

 For a moment, you breathed in each other’s air. You were one.

 At the last second, you realized your advantage. In one swift motion, you rammed your hips upwards so she flew forward over your head and had to let go of your hands to catch herself. You wrapped your legs around her waist and pulled her right arm underneath her and to your right so she fell on her shoulder and rolled to the side, leaving way for you to roll on top of her. Now you were straddling her, her arm still in your hands.

 She was completely thunderstruck, her eyes wide as she realized what had happened. Then she started laughing, her deep baritone filling the room. You could feel her chest vibrating beneath you, a sensation that made blood not only rush to your cheeks but also further down.

 Quickly, you got off of her and let yourself fall to the mattress next to her. She was still chuckling.

 “You got me, my delicate dove. An important thing people often forget is the element of surprise. If you have it on your side, you can defeat the greatest, strongest warrior.”

 Eivor turned to you and rested her head on her bicep, dreamy gaze wandering over your face again. She was completely infatuated with you.

 “Can I ask you something?” you said quietly.

 “Of course, my darling.”

 “Why do they call you Wolf-kissed?”

 The warrior rolled on her back again and crossed her arms over her head, studying the wooden ceiling like she always did when she was struggling to put the chaos in her head into words. You followed her gaze and waited patiently.

 “Sigurd is not my real brother. His father was the head of our clan and my parents were great drengrs, fighting at his side. One day he was giving a feast when we were attacked. I was only a child. It was Kjotve the Cruel. He slaughtered my parents and many of our clan. I only survived because Sigurd fled with me, but we got separated and I ended up injured on a frozen lake.” She laid her arm over her eyes as if trying to see the scene before her.

 “When I came to my senses, a wolf was there with me. He was all alone and looked like he was starving. His pack must have cast him out. My axe was just out of reach and he attacked me, biting down into my neck to kill me. My cries alerted two ravens nearby” - she lifted her arm again and gave you a bittersweet smile - “and they distracted the wolf long enough so I could grab my axe and strike it. Sigurd found me soon after and his family adopted and raised me.”

 Your heart felt like a little clump of cold, hard clay after listening to her frightful story. What could you say to her? She let out a quiet laugh.

 “Don’t worry, you do not have to pity or console me. I have long made my peace with wolves and I have taken vengeance for my parents. Now all that is left of that terrible day is my scar and my voice.”

 She hesitated for a moment, then she looked at you again.

 “And a tremendous fear of losing those I love.”

[feanorianethicsdepartment]

the conclusion to the fëanorian tauriel saga! this one’s mostly about the state of affairs after she gets adopted into everyone’s favourite family of murderers, plus a couple of extra bits and bobs. there’s some more stuff i’d like to put down somewhere - a deleted scene, a minific - but this is mostly the end of my headcanons for this particular au. so far, anyway. part 1 part 2 part 3

mandos may have, in the past, given off the impression that fëanor would remain within the halls until dagor dagorath

that statement was always a bit of a conflation of terms. like everybody else in the halls, fëanor would get a clean pass for reinbodiment as and when he attended elf afterlife therapy and got a handle on his shit. it’s just nobody thought he would ever do that

but he has done that, and more besides. he’s honestly been clear to go for a while now, he just refused to leave until his sons were ready

and since then... mandos will admit to certain political pressures exerted towards keeping fëanor under lock and key

but over time, those pressures slowly yield to the fact that mandos absolutely cannot deal with this lunatic for the rest of arda

death has not put a damper on fëanor’s unstoppability. he was preoccupied for a long while with the damage done to his sons but with them all out he had a conspicious lack of things to Do

and a bored fëanor is a dangerous fëanor

so yeah. fëanor is less released from the halls of mandos as he is unceremoniously kicked out. mandos refuses to talk about it. the maiar of the halls throw a massive party

this all happens on extremely short notice. as in, manwë announces his release like half a day before it happens

this of course throws his extended family (and a decent proportion of the rest of the continent) into this massive frenzied whirlwind of panic. everybody thought they’d get more warning than this, and nobody knows what’s going to happen next

at the epicentre of this maelstrom is the elf himself. fëanor doesn’t know either, he’s still trying to catch up on everyone he left behind and everything that’s gone down since he died. so much has changed, and he’s still stumbling groggily in the darkness

at some point between his long-practiced apology to finarfin and the maglor encounter everyone’s been dreading, though, he makes an unexpected discovery

he has a daughter now. apparently

her name’s tauriel, she smells like woodsmoke. he first meets her when she wanders into the living room, blinks blearily for a couple of seconds, goes ‘hi dad!’ and immediately falls asleep on his lap

and it’s not like he’s not incredibly stoked to have another child, it’s just how???

the first time he asks this question, the motley collection of relatives and old friends he’s talking to all come to the same conclusion

they can either (a) walk him through the history of tauriel’s growing friendship with and eventual adoption into the least reputable branch of the house of finwë or (b) dump the latest copy of the grand unified tauriel conspiracy theory on him with absolutely no context

considering they’re the hellfamily and friends, they go for the chaos option

it takes fëanor, like, two days to read it. the thing was ridiculously elaborate even before people started competing to come up with the craziest possible theories

the people around him keep the ruse going as long as they can stretch it. eventually celebrimbor takes pity on him, and legolas fills in the details

(legolas currently occupies a position in the fëanorian internal hierarchy not dissimilar to fingon’s. he has no idea how to interpret that)

fëanor also just. talks to tauriel. about how she came, and why she stayed

the next day, fëanor loudly announces to the entirety of tirion that he has a new daughter, her name is tauriel and she’s amazing

she’s been a de facto part of the house for years but this is the first official confirmation of it. the news, and the gossip, spreads all over aman

not that this marks a massive turning point for tauriel. even without a big announcement, she made which side she was on pretty clear back when shit went down

and honestly her life hasn’t changed that much since then. she still spends most of her time exploring noldorin country or chilling in the forest with her silvan friends

this isn’t too uncommon a situation for a member of the house of fëanor. they usually do their own thing, whatever that may be. even nerdanel abandons her house every so often to spend a year or two in the mountains

even in tirion, it’s not that different. she still crashes in the same place, hangs with the same people

she just also occasionally does stuff for :mobster voice: the family

she’s part of the second generation’s extremely overprotective mutual defence web. she has a few responsibilities vis-a-vis the definitely-not-minions. she’s not quite as magnetic as her older brothers, but she’s charismatic enough people tend to both legitimately like and let their guard down around her

she goes to court events sometimes, if she’s in town and in the mood. she’s not virulently allergic to it like celegorm but she doesn’t thrive there the way elrond does. she prefers lower-city forge parties. way more booze, way less bling

(the greenwood elves have stopped needing to bring her along to every political meeting for quote-unquote moral support. everyone knows who she rides with now, and the court bureaucrats tend to give her people whatever they want without the need for extortion)

she’s not the rowdiest of fëanor and nerdanel’s brood, but that’s really not saying much. she’s kicked off the last vestiges of social respectably and indulges fully in her family’s ability to do whatever they want, whenever they want, because who’s seriously going to tell a kinslayer they can’t do something?

a decent proportion of the population of tirion, it turns out. eh, the arguments are always fun

that’s the state of tauriel’s life when fëanor comes back. afterwards - like i said, it doesn’t change terribly much, fëanor rocking valinor to its core notwithstanding

he is massively, intensely supportive of everything she does. she knows that it’s partially that this family is just Like That, but she also gets the vibe he’s overinvesting a little? she’s the only one of his children who doesn’t have a reason to hate him

but they get along fine. he’s had a lot of practice at being a dad, and is trying to improve on his personal faults. his relationship with her is blissfully uncomplicated compared to the mess most of his pre-death bonds are, and while she’ll protect her brothers from him if need be she’ll protect him too when the world is out to get him

there’s this moment at one of those fancy court galas. tauriel’s chatting with some sindarin visitors when something explodes a few rooms away

almost immediately, she locks gazes with curufin, who’s peoplewatching some distance away. they have a conversation conducted entirely in eyeflicks that could be summarised as ‘did he just...’ ‘alas he probably did’

they stride out of the hall together to rescue their idiot dad from the consequences of his terrible decisions

that’s another subtlety to the way the fëanorians work, tauriel is discovering. the siblings hellspawn may be a constant fight cloud of bickering nutbags (with the obvious exception of herself) but they all always out-sane their dad

she keeps learning things like this as the years roll on and her families get closer. she finds silvans having tea with nerdanel, tirion craftselves looking for her in the woods. across both of her worlds, she’s building a posse

(just like her brothers did, long long ago under the light of the trees. when next the host rides to war, there will be those who follow tauriel’s banner)

even legolas has mostly gotten over it. their initial friendship, after all, was founded on them both being chaos children. tauriel is one in a way they called silvan in greenwood and noldorin in aman, fully conscious that the powers that be disapprove of her shenanigans and deliberately and vindictively defying them

legolas’ style is more sindarin, vaguely aware that the rules exist but doesn’t really understand how they apply to him. he did sneak a dwarf up the straight road, after all. him and tauriel got up to so much nonsense when they were kids, and no matter who else she runs with, he’ll always be her best friend

he’ll never be fully comfortable with the literal childhood horror stories she’s taken up with, but for her sake he’s willing to try. they might be scary, but, he’s realising, they can be fun too

(even if he does spend most of their family gatherings hiding behind elrond)

and then, one day...

tauriel doesn’t exactly pine for kíli, but she does kind of regret how it all turned out. she wonders what being in a relationship with him would have been like, sometimes

but he’s a dwarf, and she’s an elf, and she can’t leave the undying lands, and dwarves aren’t supposed to come here. they are sundered until the breaking of the world

when she tells this to fëanor, this massive smug grin spreads across his face. ‘unless’

three hours later, they’ve turned fëanor’s front room into a base of operations. maedhros is on project management, caranthir is on logistics, amras is going down a list of maiar they can strongarm. celebrimbor stops by, looks at the plans on the walls, and, somewhat excitedly, goes ‘are we breaking into the dwarven afterlife???’

yes. yes they are

epilogue:

when the end comes and all elves return to cuivénen, certain people tauriel knew back in middle-earth discover what she’s been doing for the past few ages

they get the full skinny later, after they talk to her and stuff, but the first whisper they hear is ‘tauriel’s been taken in by the fëanorians’

reactions vary. tauriel’s mama, who doesn’t recognise the name, goes ‘the spirits of fire? that’s sounds so much like her, i’m so happy she’s made friends’

tauriel’s mummy, who does recognise the name, is laughing too hard to speak

and thranduil cradles his head in his hands. ‘of course’ he mutters ‘of course she fucking did’

[tuffduff]

Your Pretty Little Angel (Axl Rose x Reader)

Pairing: fluffy modern!Axl x Reader

Words: 1,785

Request: @zeppelinwhore​ : “ Hey, love! How r u? I was wondering if i could request a fic with modern!axl? Where reader feels insecure about herself, like she saw the pic of Axl and Lana and then she feels like she is not as pretty as Lana. Or some shit like that lol. <3 “

A/N: Thanks for requesting, hun! The more of these modern!Axl imagines I write, the more I want to be his little sugar baby, ya know? Hope y’all enjoy this one! (Also this gif fucking killed me he’s SO cute)

Taglist: @ubernoxa @the--blackdahlia​ @reigns420​ @stradlin-cold-heartbreaker​ @rumoured-whispers​ @dustnbones​

Your fingers drummed on the bathroom counter in front of you, drawing your focus to the sound of tapping against the granite rather than the gaping mirror in front of you. Anything but the reflection.

It wasn’t as though you were always racked with self-hatred or insecurity of your appearance. At the same time, you weren’t vain. You had worked hard to accept you as you were, it was all anyone could do, right? Everyone had their days though.

Especially when you were dating a globally celebrated rock star.

Axl Rose used to be a name that circulated the news channels and magazines much more frequently. Nowadays, any mention of Guns N’ Roses was a bit rarer, especially since Axl chose to lead a more private life. His name still had the power to generate headlines, though. You had definitely seen the latest—the images were practically burned into your mind now.

“Axl’s New Flame”

“So, Lana Del Rey and Axl Rose Are Hanging Out Together”

“Where’s Y/N? Axl Ditches Former Girl-Next-Door For Singing Siren”

You knew it was innocent. You knew rumor articles were cruel. You knew there was likely nothing even to it; Axl had gone out for a business dinner and they must have run into each other. After all, Lana Del Rey is a well-known Guns N’ Roses fan. The only pictures you had seen so far was her walking ahead of him leaving the same hotel restaurant. Axl simply wasn’t like that; you had been together for over a year now.

That was you trying to be rational and avoid a spiral of doubt. But of course, you ended up tumbling over the edge and soon got lost in overthinking.

You read the articles, every single detail you could find. The fact that she wrote a song all the way back in 2008 called “Axl Rose Husband.” Her coy smile in the pictures—so beautiful with her elegant face. Sure, Axl wasn’t like that, but did anyone really expect to get cheated on? Did anyone ever expect to be left? Those kinda things blind-sided even the most infatuated adoring lovers, and you began to brace yourself for the impact. Sure, you had just moved into his house, but he could always kick you out. You and Axl had never even exchanged “I love you” with each other, maybe he was seeing what else was out there. Maybe he had been charmed, maybe you just hadn’t seen other pictures yet. You read the articles speculating if Axl had left you in the dust. It was easy to find pictures comparing you to Lana. This was worse than online stalking because all the work was done for you—and there were people’s commentary and opinions, people you didn’t even know, who didn’t know you.

When you glanced up, almost accidentally, you realized you had started crying. You chuckled bitterly and added another negative trait to your list: too fucking sensitive. Who did you think you were, dating Axl Rose?

“Hey, sugar, I thought we were getting lunch? You’ve been up here for almost an hour.” You heard Axl call from your shared bedroom and heard his steps crossing the floor. You panicked; you didn’t want him to see you right now when the image of her was probably pinned in his memories. Her laugh, her smile, her bambi eyes looking at his. Was he comparing the two of you like everyone else? Wondering why he settled when he could’ve had her?

“Uh, hang on! Give me a minute,” you tried to stall; you needed a helluva lot longer than a minute.

“What’s wrong?” You heard Axl asked as he paused right outside the bathroom. It was almost a casual question, as though he weren’t really expecting anything serious to be wrong. “Your hair brush is out here if that’s what you’re looking for.” You chuckled slightly, smiling sadly at his nonchalant observation. “Are you okay?” He pressed when you didn’t answer, and that’s when you completely fell apart.

“Y-yeah! I just, uh...I poked my eye and...” you lied with the first thing that entered your head and grimaced at the weak attempt to stop your voice from shaking as hot, fresh tears spilled from your eyes. “I’m actually not feeling well; maybe we can go another time. Why don’t you go get something for yourself?” He didn’t answer, and you wondered if maybe he had left to do exactly that.

“Why in the world would I do that?” You jumped at the sound of his soft voice right behind you and glanced up to look at him in the mirror’s reflection, staring back at you in confusion, hairbrush in hand. Heavy concern shaded his face when he saw you. “Y/N, what’s wrong, darlin’?”

“It’s really nothing,” you lied and Axl immediately frowned angrily at you. His boots hit the floor with purpose as he marched over to where you sat on the vanity stool. He knelt down right next to your thigh in an effort to match your level.

“You know I hate it when you tell me that, Y/N. I hate wasting time with you upset and me not knowin’ the reason why. Do you trust me?” You hesitated at the question and saw a flicker of surprised hurt flash in Axl’s eyes.

“No, I do!” You said quickly, before you shook your head. “I do. Really, it’s just me overthinking...and just...imagining worse case scenarios and...” you shrugged.

Axl was silent for a moment before he stood. You stared at your lap, wondering if you had offended him, before you felt his fingers weave through your hair. He pulled your head closer to him, to where your cheek was resting against the denim covering his hip and his fingers massaging your scalp.

“You and that pretty little head of yours...” he muttered affectionately. “C’mon, sweetheart, tell me what’s wrong. I get it, you know. Wasted plenty of years of my life just fucking overthinking things I didn’t need to.” You looked up at him and something in your expression suddenly made him pull you up by your elbows. He took your place on the stool before he brought you down on his lap and wrapped his arms around your waist. “Now,” he prompted. “I’m listening.”

You stared down at your hands in your lap.

“I saw the pictures.” You murmured.

“Pictures of...?” Axl asked.

“You with Lana.” You peeked up at him and watched confusion furrow his eyebrows before understanding took its place. There was a silence.

“Ah.” He finally said with a nod.

“There were...a lot of articles telling me about the state of my relationship this morning.” You chuckled feebly. “You know, a much better start to my day than Folgers or the weather forecast.” Axl was shaking his head.

“I hate them.” Axl said. “I hate all of it. The manipulation, the way they think they know every detail. And it still happens, even now, twisting it all however they want.”

“For the record, I didn’t think anything of it.” You reassured him, though you couldn’t help the way your voice sounded small. You wondered if Axl could hear the insecurity behind your words too.

You could feel Axl pat your hip, his hand resting against you.

“Someone introduced us. She’s a big fan, it was nice conversation. I liked some of her ideas, concepts she was telling me about songwriting. But that was it. We walked out at the same time and that was somehow the big story.” You nodded a little. You had known that, but even with the confirmation, you were left wondering why you still felt empty.

“I guess...it’s just harder for me.” You said out loud, trying to work out your thoughts. “I’m...nobody. And you’re you, and I knew that—it wasn’t what drew me to you, that’s not why I got into this—but this world knows you too and how amazing you are, and then, sometimes things like last night happen. And I trust you with all my heart, Axl, but someone like Lana Del Rey; she’s gorgeous. She’s talented, she’s acclaimed. I’m sure she would have been willing. Why wouldn’t you...”

Axl’s grip tightened around your hips now, making you stop your words.

“First of all, I never want to hear you say something like that again. Y/N, you’re not nothing. You’re nothing short of incredible. This world hardly ever says anything about how ‘amazing’ they consider me. Mainly, it’s just about how I’ve lost it.” You frowned a little. There was a change in his tone, switching from insistence to almost cynicism. “How I don’t sound the same anymore. How I don’t look the same. I’m washed up, I’m an egotistical perfectionist—the list goes on. But you…you’re beautiful, baby. I look at you and I can see the way everyone else looks at you, and it makes me I wonder how in the hell I get to have you. You make me proud. You make me feel like the things I see written about me aren’t true. Because you never make me feel like that.” You twisted in the position you were sitting to face him better.

“I’m a fucking mess,” you laughed breathlessly, fighting another onslaught of tears. Axl smiled, leaning up to kiss the corner of your mouth, a fleeting kiss, uncaring if his lips even met yours because any inch of your skin was a prize to be kissed.

“You’re not a mess. Baby, you’re a whirlwind. Your thoughts, the way you look at the world, all the things you’ve brought into mine...”

“Axl...” you stopped him, but only had an absence for any words to explain the relief you were feeling, the calm that filled you. You could only shake your head and reach your hands out to cradle his face in in them. He immediately leaned forward to press his lips to yours.

“I love you, Y/N.” He whispered, his eyes still shut as you pulled back, stunned. He blinked his eyes open, smiling again at you. “I love you, my pretty little angel.”

“I love you too, Ax. I always wanna make you proud.” You replied back, smiling against his lips as you kissed him again.

“You do. And you know what else?” He asked as he pulled back. “I’m pretty fucking hungry.” You laughed with your head falling back before you stood from his lap.

“Just gimme a second. I’ll be ready soon.” Axl paused by the door.

“Wear that blue sundress of yours, baby. The one with the slit up the leg.” There was a twinkle in his eye. “I want them all to see you on my arm today.”

[a-lil-perspective]

Interspersed

A/N: Here’s a lil Tech X Reader drabble I wrote while doing a big sad over the weekend. Also to rectify the disgraceful lack of Tech content on my blog. Also also, to utilize a beloved Hamilton quote from my prompt list. Anywho. Soft Tech drabble in which Tech is sleepy and suddenly questions his own intelligence. A very big mood. Not to worry; the S/O is here to help. :)

He’s doing it again.

Another day turned to night, with no end in sight.

Another project, another fixation, another night the bed is cold and stiff. Another leave he doesn’t spend with you.

“Tech.”

He doesn’t tear his attention away from his work, makes no acknowledgment to your call. He’s positively hyper-fixated, and if he wasn’t troubled, he’d be in trouble, surely.

With the sound of your perturbed tapping somewhere off to his right, Tech rather nervously concludes he still might be.

He thinks you won’t see it. That if you’re fussing over the proficiency of his hands and the hunch of his shoulders, you won’t see the way his mind is racing, burning fumes. The way he’s… struggling. He’s a reputation to uphold, and this engineer simply can’t comprehend letting you marvel over anything other than his ingenuity. Certainly not of any mental ailment. Struggles are merely a kink in the neurotransmitters that with a little self-convincing, can be plucked out and overcome with all haste.

But that is merely the science behind it.

“I wonder how long you keep ignoring me before I start a betting pool from it. Don’t think I won’t, either.”

Tech bites his lip at that, hollowing his cheeks with an expression vaguely reminiscent of a scolded child. He can’t bring himself to respond, and a surreal frustration boils because of it. He always has something to say, words filling the space effortlessly. He should apologize, should reason, should rebuttal with something painstakingly factual—

But if he says what’s on his mind he’ll spill something that’s terribly insensible, and even more terrible:

Insecure.

Even still, Tech’s thoughts often broadcast far, far too loudly for his liking.

“Am I a capable person?”

It feels like such a trivial thing; silly, even. Of course he is capable, his title alone is a testament to such. These are inquiries not to be mused aloud, in Tech’s informed opinion.

You blink in confusion. “The most capable person I know.”

Tech says nothing at that, relying on the methods you use to upend him and on the ways you speak for him when he won’t—which is ironic, given that his every waking moment is spent talking, talking over you... and about you. However it’s widely known of the way he verbally shrivels away when his burdens require him to divert all of his energy to upholding the strain. Perhaps he’s more predictable than he’d like to admit.

Perhaps that’s why these feelings manifested in the first place, flourishing in his chest until they’ve become this far too constraining thing for even the brightest engineer.

“How are you certain?”

How are you not? you nearly ask. Instead, you arch a brow. “What is this about?”

There’s only the mechanical hum-drum of the hangar for a long moment.

“I feel inadequate,” is all he says.

“What in the kriff for?” You’re utterly baffled, gaping crudely no doubt. Tech can’t tear his eyes away from the project splayed out before him. It’s just randomized parts, really. Much like the current state of his headspace.

“I… experience a sense of dissatisfaction with my work, and everything that pertains to it.”

You shake your head slowly, unable to fathom where this is all coming from. For Tech, it’s unprecedented.

You frown, and then your lips pull down even further when you realize that he can’t even see it; he won’t look at you, and it’s maddening. “Well I experience a sense of dissatisfaction over the way you’re too hard on yourself and the way you won’t ever take a break unless someone forces you. Seriously, do you know what time it is—”

“No, you don’t understand, there is… more to it,” he murmurs conspiratorially, his face scrunching.

You open and close your mouth, now at a loss. The desire to grant him peace of mind is overwhelming; all you can dwell on. Tech is this whirlwind of coding that you all-too-easily get swept up in. He’s every foreign language accumulated in the databanks. He’s the answer to questions, and the questions to every answer. More often than not, it’s a challenge to keep pace. But one you wouldn’t trade for anything.

You soften, stepping closer to him. “Then help me understand.”

He purses his lips, considering.

“I fear that when it comes down to it, I do not perform as well as I could—as well as I should.”

Your steel your posture. “Tech. Your contributions are invaluable—you’re invaluable. To your squad, your brothers. To me.”

“I sometimes wonder if it is enough.”

“It is. You are enough.”

Chapped lips pressed to a grim line, the rim of his goggles ever so slightly inching down the bridge of his nose, Tech twitches at your touch to his armored forearm. He blinks hard in an attempt to alleviate the burn in his retinas forged from an unrelenting stare at things he’d rather not examine but does anyway. His hands have fallen slack in defeat against the table before him.

You gently turn his ragged body away from the workbench because Maker knows a hyper-fixated Tech has to be herded like a baby Shaak to get any coordinated movement from him in such state. You keep a firm hand braced along his upper arm and turn his face to yours, cupping his cheek.

“I don’t pretend to know the challenges you’re facing, the worlds you keep erasing and creating in your mind. But I’m not afraid. I’m not worried. You shouldn’t be, either. Just let me stay by your side. That would be enough for tonight.”

The engineer finally brings deprived eyes up to yours. He extends a gloved hand out, soot-coated and all, and you take it with all eagerness, squeezing tightly. It always amazes you, the way he can piece together inventions and desecrate standards to formulate his own, paving a path far brighter than anything someone else could conjure up in their wildest dreams. The way he’s so unapologetically himself.

Except for now.

“I... apologize for pushing you away. That was not my intent. I suppose I am not too well-versed in emotional discovery—yet.” His determined smile almost overrides the crackling of his voice. Almost. He takes a deep breath, giving your hand a squeeze and continuing on at the reassuring one he receives back. “But... I would like you to be here with me. Very much so.”

You reciprocate the smile, and with a free hand you ruffle through his unruly tuffs, a stray chuckle escaping you at the sight.

“Well. I’d much rather be in bed with you than standing here,” you gesture to his less-than-ideal work surroundings in the isolated part of a mostly vacant hangar. Tech looks longingly to his project that’s more busywork than an actual project, sighing.

“Soon—”

“Has become now,” you gently chide.

“My work—”

“Will be there when you wake up. But more importantly, so will I. Rest now.”

With that you pull him along, ignoring his endless excuses and refutes, and the way he reaches out for his tools like a child and his beloved toy he can’t bear to part with.

You lead him out and towards the barracks, to your quarters, with Tech undressing in small increments along the way after he quit grousing under his breath. It’s futile; he knows your resolve is unshakeable. It’s a deduction he made long ago, in a sweet past that feels but a dream now. But then he looks over to you and remembers that it’s still very much an active dream. One that a part of him aches at the very thought of ever waking up from.

By the time you make it to the door, Tech’s helmet is tucked under his arm, turned up like a literal bucket, his gauntlets and other small armor components resting inside. A resourceful man through and through, with not a care in the world as to whether or not anyone stumbles upon his oddities. Public perception has never been a priority for Tech. So ahead of his time, ahead of the game.

You get cozy once inside, freeing yourself from a constricting uniform while carefully eyeing Tech in the doorway for signs of instability—it wouldn’t be the first time he’s nearly collapsed from exhaustion while removing his armor, utilizing his last ounce of strength left at whatever ungodly hour he’s finally reeled in.

Stripped to his blacks, Tech flops onto the bed and nestles against you, sprawled at an awkward angle with his head resting on your bare thighs. He wraps a tired arm around the circumference and squeezes like it’s that of a pillow. He’s got you in a vise-like grip, and you can’t help the snort it pulls from you.

“Why do you do this to yourself.” You caress his face with the back of your hand, gently scrutinizing the quivering Commando who’s now faced with the side-effects of potent caf shots he very much has an addiction to. They always hit him hardest once coming to a full stop in his endeavors, no longer masked by the methodical fidget of limbs hard at work. You feel his lips curl into a frown as his body involuntarily trembles.

“Do, what?”

You stifle a yawn, grappling for the blanket at the foot of your bed and draping it over the two of you; he’s chilled. “Fight like you’re running out of time,” a flick to his expanse of forehead. “Doubt that big brain of yours.”

Tech shoots upright, damn-near colliding his head with your inclined chin. “Technically, intelligence does not equate to a larger brain mass, at least not in us humans—”

“Stop talking,” you hum, pressing him back to your leg and batting away the fatigue rapidly seeping over you. You stroke up and down the corded muscles of his back to ease him out of the shakes.

Tech falls silent but only for a moment, revisiting the question that you both already know the answer to. He traces random, unsteady shapes over his pillow. “I do it for you, you know.”

“But you do it at the cost of yourself. And... of us.”

There’s a pervading sadness to your words, and it tugs at Tech. “I strive to be the best I can, for you and my brothers, and the mission.” It sounds like such a wormy excuse in his ears.

You lean forward, hair strands lurching with to kiss his cheek as you press your lips to the shell of his ear. “Be the best you can for you. Just stay alive. That would be enough.”

Tech squints contemplatively. With effort, he reaches up to rest a hand on your cheek. “Well then I must respectfully request the same of you.”

“Oh I will, don’t you worry about that,” you smile down at him, fingers carding through his hair as your gaze flits somewhere far away. “We’re smart. We’ll make it.”

“I’m smart?”

As if he needs you to tell him that.

You scoff but it’s not heavy. “You know you are.”

“But what is ‘smart’?”

Either he’s pulling your leg (literally) or getting all philosophical on you, and in either case: exhaustion and a distant validation have successfully taken the reins in the conversation.

You roll your eyes. “I’m looking at him.”

The goggled member smirks. “Is he good looking?”

There’s this rare side of Tech that shines through in his hedge of exhaustion. It’s delightfully loony, one of those seldom instances where the precocious engineer retains his fleeting youth through fatigue-driven giggles and caricature expressions. It’s a lovely thing you don’t get to experience often, but when you do, you milk it for all its worth.

A playful swat to his backside. “Handsomest thing I’ve ever seen. The smartest, in fact,” you purr, thoroughly humoring him but also believing in him; the sum of your playfulness and your full endorsement. You sweep your hair out of his face, resting your forehead against his.

“What would I do without you...” he murmurs against the skin of your leg, lids fluttering heavily, drunk with exhaustion and undying appreciation. His goggles lie crookedly affixed to his face, which makes the entire sight that more endearing.

“Excellent question, Tech; what would you do without me?” You gingerly remove his corrective eyewear and set it atop the nightstand. Tech’s toothy, lopsided grin is truly a sight to behold. He ponders for a second, then lazily shrugs one blanketed shoulder.

“I’d never get tucked in.”

[guccybangtan]

Pull Me In - Jung Hoseok

pairing; hoseok x reader

word count; 3,058 ( a lil baby compared to some of these other fics 🥵)

genre; fluff, smut, non idol! au

warnings; semi public sex, spanking (like once maybe), blow job, daddy kink, unprotected sex, shower sex, impreg kink/breeding kink; let me know if anything needs to be added

a/n; I know I haven't posted since blue side chapter 10  (which was like three months ago??? I'm so sorry???) 

but!! im back with this small fic for ‘The Summer Bucket List Collab’ hosted by @jamaisjoons​

now, usually my fics are longer and better but on top of my issues with my college(long story) my dad is also in the hospital with some serious health issues so its been a whirlwind of the last few months

I hate making excuses but I wanted you all to know what’s been up but im hoping to get some more of my wips done now that I have classes again :)

regardless pls enjoy this fic I enjoyed writing it even though its not the best 

(also I still haven't written that much smut so pls don't crucify me)

shout out to Maggie - @kimtaehyunq​ for helping me with the wonderful banner for this! pls support them in their works 

enough blabbering, here we go :)

In the heat of the summer, there's nothing more relaxing than relaxing than a nice trip to the water. Since your little brother's birthday fell right at the height of summer, your family frequented the local water park to celebrate, effectively hitting two birds with one stone. Everyone got to cool off and your brother got to have an amazing party.

This year Y/B/N was turning ten and he took special care in selecting which of his friends he wants to attend. Your mother permitted him to bring along five friends, not counting you and the family.

Much to everyone's surprise, the first person he asked for was Hoseok.

Hoseok was your boyfriend of three years, and he and Y/B/N hadn't always gotten along. You and your little brother were very close, and when Hoseok first started coming around Y/B/N felt like he was taking you away from him.

Even though things eventually lightened up and Y/B/N became like a second shadow to him, Hoseok still worried that Y/B/N harbored hatred for him in secret.

"He really wants me there?" Hoseok asked you, fingers halting their ministrations.

The two of you had been settled on the couch nestled among the pillows even though it was sweltering, and Hoseok had been gently massaging you as you laid on top of him.

"You were the first person he asked for. Must be all that energy you have.'' You poked, causing your boyfriend to begin shaking with laughter.

Silence ensued once more and as Hoseok continued to run his fingers across your skin, you found yourself drifting closer and closer to sleep.

Just as you were about to fall over the edge, the rumble of Hoseok's voice in his chest woke you.

"What should I get him?" He voiced his out of the blue question.

You chuckled, shaking your head.

"He'll love whatever you decide on regardless.''

"Well what about..'' As Hoseok prattled on, you let sleep come again.

Before you knew it, it was the day of your brothers party and you were trying to decide which bathing suit you wanted to wear.

"Should I wear this one?" You asked your friend, light blue bikini in your grasp.

"Didn't you say Hoseok liked red, though?" She began digging through the pile on your bed, "wear this.''

From the bottom of the pile she produced a bright red bikini, complete with lace details around the straps and waistband. It wasn't too sultry, but for a birthday party, it seemed to be a bit much.

"It's a ten-year-old's party, Y/F/N! Not a strip club,'' You snatched it from her hands, tossing it to the side, " not to mention my little brother's party.''

"You wore that exact bikini at Namjoon's the other day?"

"That was different...'' You countered, cheeks now as red as the bikini.

"Sure it was, because you knew you were getting laid.'' Y/F/N rolled her eyes, kicking her feet up on top of the pile of discarded suits.

"I don't know what else to tell you then,'' She shrugged,'' you said no to all of these.''

"I'll figure something out.''

Sighing, you began to dig through the pile again. Hoseok was going to be at your place in 10 minutes, and then the two of you were going to be meeting the rest of the group at the waterpark.

You needed to think fast.

Just as you finished adjusting the straps of your top, knocking could be heard on the door of your apartment.

"Would you mind getting that?" You asked Y/F/N, packing the last few things you needed into a bag,"it's probably Hobi.''

"I would but...'' She trailed off, motioning to the chips that were on her lap.

"You're a piece of work,'' You rolled your eyes, dropping the bag on the floor and heading toward the front door, "I don't know what Joon sees in you.''

"My big brain and beautiful face.'' She called after you.

Sighing, you flicked the lock on the door and pulled it open revealing Hoseok.

"Well hello there.'' He spoke, eyeing you up in down as he pulled you toward him.

"Nice to see you too, lover boy.'' Giggling, you fell into his embrace.

"You know I love this bikini on you,'' Hoseok whispered into your ear as he toyed with the spandex material, pressing a kiss against the side of your head," red suits you.''

Before you could respond Y/F/N's voice rang through the air.

"Okay kids, have fun, time to go!'' Y/F/N came around the corner with your bag in hand and began ushering the two of you out the door.

"You don't want to be late! Tell Y/B/N I said happy birthday! Be sure to use protection!'' She continued shouting as the two of you approached the car.

"Use pro- What is she talking about?" Hoseok furrowed his brows as he settled in the drivers seat.

"Haha, she's just joking.'' You blurted out nervously, flicking Y/F/N the finger as Hoseok reversed out of your driveway.

All you got in return was her cheeky smile as she retreated back into your apartment.

The waterpark was near the edge of town. Considering how much space it took up, it was a miracle the city hadn't decided to demolish it yet to build another shopping mall.

The drive to the waterpark wasn't long, but with the windows down and the music blaring as the two of you drove down the open road, you couldn't help but feel relaxed.

Summer wasn't your favorite season, but you didn't care what you were doing as long as you had Hoseok by your side. The two of you did most things together but you never got tired of him, and he never got tired of you.

You were like peas in a pod and you wouldn't change that.

"Here we are!" Hoseok sang with a smile on his face as he pulled into the nearest parking spot.

You could see your family and Y/B/N's friends waiting near the entrance of the park.

After greeting everyone, the group made their way inside of the park and looked for an empty table everyone could place their things at.

Y/B/N and his friends immediately ran to the tide pool and rushed into the water, splashing around and trying to dunk each other.

You laughed at their antics as you sat at the table under the umbrella, reaching into your bag for the sunscreen.

"Can you spray me?" Hoseok asked, pulling his shirt off and setting it next to your bag.

"Yeah, uh, yes. Turn around,'' you nodded, gulping as you uncapped the bottle.

Hoseok was definitely fitter than the average man, and seeing him bathed in the golden sunlight was enough to have your mouth run dry.

"Are you coming or not Hoseok?" Your brother shouted.

"You're keeping the little man waiting, baby. Help me out here.''

Shaking your head to rid yourself of the stupor, you mumbled an apology and quickly applied the sunscreen, making sure he had a nice even coat to protect his skin.

"Keep your mind out of the gutter,'' Hoseok smirked at you as he made his way toward your little brother. "You ready to get dunked?"

For most of the afternoon you sat with your mother and talked while tanning and watching the boys roughhouse. Eventually Y/B/N decided it was time to move to the area that has the big wave come crashing down over everyone and he was adamant that you were coming too.

"Who's gonna stay with mom if I come?" You tried reasoning.

"I'll be fine, go have fun,'' She waved you off, reaching into her bag and pulling out a book," I always come prepared.''

You groaned internally, but didn't fight when Hoseok pulled you out of your chair and began to drag you along behind him.

"Y/B/N and his friends seem to be getting tired," Hoseok whispered to you as the two of you trailed behind the pack of ten-year-olds," we'll probably end up leaving sometime after this for the pizza place.''

"Good, I'm starving.''

Generally, you were a good big sister. Being older you often had to watch out for Y/B/N and make sure that he never got into too much trouble. Since the age gap between the two of you was also so large, you were also often bending to every whim of the little boy.

Waterparks were fun, and you enjoyed spending the time with your little brother, but if there was one thing you hated it was the big wave.

For some unknown reason (definitely not your lack of balance) you always managed to get knocked down and swept under the water when the recurring waves came crashing over everyone.

“I’ll be right here,’’ Hoseok spoke,” you’ll be fine.’’

Sure enough, for the first few waves you were okay. With Hoseok standing behind you, you managed to stay on your feet. But with each oncoming wave, you felt him becoming more restless as he stood behind you.

“Are you alright?” You turned around to ask him as the water calmed.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well you just seem to be wiggling a lot.’’

‘Oh, yeah…’’ he trailed off, “ about that.’’

You followed his gaze as he glanced down and noticed the bulge forming in the front of his shorts.

“Really? Now?” You asked incredulously.

“You’ve been rubbing up against me for the last ten minutes. What did you expect to happen?”

Oh. The waves had been pushing you back into him, but you hadn’t thought anything of it.

“Shouldn’t you go take care of that?”

“Me?! You started it!’’

Looking back over to where your brother and his friends were, you saw that they were still enamored with trying to dunk each other.

‘Perfect time to make a getaway,’ you thought.

“After the next wave you need to head back to mom to get ready to leave,’’ you called out to your brother, “Hoseok and I are gonna go get rinsed off and change.’’

A chorus of ‘okay’s came from the group of boys.

Grabbing Hoseok’s hand, you told him to just follow you.

The good thing about this place was that there was an abundance of showers and they were fairly large, so fixing Hoseok’s- issue- wouldn’t be a problem.

As soon as you were safely in the shower, you threaded your fingers through the hair on the nape of Hoseok’s neck, and you smashed your lips to his.

“We’ll have to be quick.’’

You nodded, groaning as he fondled your breasts through the swim top.

"Careful baby girl,'' Hoseok smirked as he tugged at the waistband of your bottoms,"don't want anyone to hear us now do we? That would ruin the fun.''

Reaching over, Hoseok turned the shower to full blast, the only sound that filled the small cubicle being the water beating against the tile.

"Maybe we shouldn’t.'' You shook your head, realizing how risky the situation actually was.

You couldn't deny that you wanted Hoseok to shove you up against the wall and fuck you like your life depended on it, but you couldn't help but be worried that someone would barge in on you.

The sheer embarrassment that you would have to deal with, especially if it was one of your parents that walked in, was enough to deter you from the railing that you so desperately wanted.

"C'mon, Y/N. We'll be okay as long as you keep quiet? Can you do that for daddy?" Hoseok hummed, hard cock rubbing against your back side.

“Yes,’’

“On your knees then.’’

Without a second thought, you dropped down, knees chilled by the tile floor; a stark contrast to the warmth of the water that was raining down on you.

Shimmying out of his shorts, Hoseok’s cock was red, precum smeared over the tip.

“Open.’’

You complied, the familiar salty taste spreading across your tongue as he slid his cock into your mouth.

“Now suck.’’

Wrapping your lips around the head of his cock, you mouthed at the tip, fisting the rest of his length in your hand.

Quiet pants fell from his lips, droplets of water racing down the front of his chest as he dipped his head.

“The things you do to me Y/N.’’ Hoseok growled, gently rocking his hips forward, pushing his cock further into your wet mouth.

Letting him take control, you felt the tip of his cock nudge the back of your throat.

“Relax for me,’’ he cooed, fingers brushing across your throat.

It didn’t take him much effort for him to force his cock past your tonsils, beginning to trust once more.

Reaching down, you slipped your hand into the waistband of your bikini bottoms and ghosted your fingers across your clit.

Sighing around Hoseok’s cock, you applied more pressure, making small circles over the bud to provide some relief.

Hoseok pulled out of your mouth muttering something about how he wasn’t gonna last as he helped you up from your position on the ground.

“These gotta go.’’ He pulled on your bottoms, sliding them down your legs.

Hands planted firmly on the wall, Hoseok tapped your hip signalling you to spread your legs.

“Ready for me, baby girl?”

“Yes daddy, please.’’ you mewled, wiggling your ass at him.

“Remember, you have to be quiet.’’

Lining his tip up with your entrance, Hoseok pushed into you in one swift motion, causing you to cry out.

Clamping a hand over your mouth, he pulled your head up so it was resting against his chest.

"Ah ah,'' He shook his head,"what happened to silence, baby? You know the rules, bad girls don't get to cum.''

"I'm sorry, daddy,'' you choked out,'' your cock just fills me up so good, I-''

“What? Can’t seem to follow instructions? If that’s the case you can just suck me off and we’ll go.’’

“No! No, please. I’ll be good.’’ You pleaded, already feeling the tightness winding up in your stomach.

Hoseok had that effect on you. Sex with him was the best you’d ever had. Somehow he just knew your body so well he could play you like a fiddle.

“Fine,’’ he tsked, pulling out to the tip and thrusting back in,’’ but next time I won’t be so kind as to give you a second chance.’’

The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the small room, moans intermingling with the sound of water continuing to hit the tile.

True to your word you managed to keep your moans in, tiny gasps being the only sound that escaped you as Hoseok continued to pound into you at a steady pace.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get over how sweet your pussy is.’’ Hoseok growled, running his hands across your back and over the swell of your ass.

“Only for you.’’

“Damn straight,’’ He panted, words punctuated by a particularly hard thrust, "So good to me, baby.''

" 'M close.'' You whimpered, letting your head loll backwards against his shoulder.

Hoseok picked up the pace, fucking into you at a brutal rate. His deft fingers reached down to your clit and started rubbing circles over the bundle of nerves much like you had been minutes ago.

It was like you could feel his cock in your throat, he was so deep in you.

"Wanna put a baby in you.'' Hoseok growled, thrusting getting sloppier.

"Do it then. Cum inside of me. Want you to fill me up.’’

"God, Y/N, when you talk like that,’’ Landing a swift smack to your asscheek, he kneaded the supple flesh.

“Oh, fuck,” You bit down on your lip,” I’m gonna cum! Please, daddy.’’

“Let it go, baby.’’

Hoseok continued rubbing small circles on your clit, pushing you over the edge. Stars clouded your vision as your eyes clamped shut, walls clenching around Hoseok’s cock as he continued to pound into your cunt.

“I’m almost there.’’ He moaned, fucking into you with a newfound fervor.

After a few brutal thrusts, he was spilling his load into your cunt, gently rocking his hips to milk himself for everything he had.

“You better keep that in.’’ He panted, pulling his softening cock out.

“I’ll do my best.’’ You rolled your eyes, body feeling the affects of the day.

“I love you, you know that right?” Hoseok mumbled, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips as he let his bodyweight rest against your own.

“I know, why do you think I let you fuck me in the shower of a waterpark?”

“Shits and giggles?” He shrugged.

“You’re an idiot.’’ You laughed, pushing his shoulder.

The two of you stood there for a moment, letting the warmth of the water run over you both.

As you stood there, you began running your hands over the expanse of Hoseok’s back, figuring it would be best to actually wash off the germs from the park water.

“I guess it’s smart to actually wash off.’’ Hoseok leaned up from your shoulder, leaning in for another kiss.

“It’s probably almost time to go eat anyway. I bet the others already left.’’

“Oh, crap!�� You exclaimed, swifty pulling your bottoms back on and shutting off the water.

The two of you stumbled out of the shower to your bag.

After drying off and slipping on your actual clothes, you reached for your phone to check the notifications

“We’re gonna be late for dinner!” You cried, frantically shoving all of your stuff into the bag and rushing out the entrance of the waterpark.

Hoseok just moseyed along like there wasn’t a care in the world.

“Why are you being so slow today?”

“It’s funny to watch you get all worked up over pizza.’’ Hoseok said, signature grin plastered on his face.

“I’m hungry.’’ You pouted, reaching for his hand to pull him along.

“What, earlier wasn’t enough?”

“Shut up, you nasty!’’ Smacking his chest you dropped his hand and started walking again.

“I’m just joking. You should see the look on your face.’’ Hoseok was doubled over with laughter.

“The pizza won’t be there forever, hurry up!’’

“Race you?” He offered.

“You’re on.’’