#it very much gave si a psychological break after the realisation of what she was doing sunk in

[yharnamesque]

Sometimes I have some really cool and fucked up sort of Bloodborne+ dreams and last night involved an optional boss fight that drastically changed how you perceived the enemies if you did it

Killing this optional boss would alter your perception so that the beasts were now just regular people still capable of speech and thought, but because it was only your perception that was changed it was impossible to actually tell whether or not you were actually killing beasts or people and you were essentially locked into a permanent state of blood-drunk frenzy

[mmazzeroo]

Chapter 17: ARYA V - Lord Dayne In Uniform

@helloimnotawesome - Chapter 17 ready for you! Hope uni isn’t stressing you out still, and if so I hope this chapter can bring a little piece of joy to your day. Love ya, sis! <3

ARYA V - Lord Dayne In Uniform:

Kintsugi is a silent proof of survival.' She didn't like to admit it, because the gods knew she hated to be wrong, but Jon had done the near-impossible. He'd managed to find a way to have Sansa understand that she was worthy and still beautiful - and should be proud of her scars and the story they told. Sansa and Jon have both survived so much and still manage to have so much light within them just bursting to get out. Maybe we're all a little broken and that's how the light gets in? Man, I need to study Naathi and YiTi cultures some more!

She'd apologised and hugged it out with Sansa before helping herself to another round of Jon's stew. When she'd visited him a while back he'd cooked fish for her on the coals of the fire and it was delicious! Oh yeah, and uncle Benjen had made breakfast for us! Yummi! That was a great weekend. She smiled at the memory of waking up to Jon and Benjen talking quietly by the fire. As far as she knew uncle Ben had only visited Jon a few times, but they seemed to get along well. Her family still held on to the age old 'there must always be a Stark at Winterfell', so for Benjen to be able to go anywhere her dad needed to go back home. Luckily for everyone it's where her dad preferred to be so uncle Ben wasn't as chained as it would otherwise sound like. Bran was being groomed to take over 'the Direwolf Kennel', the generations old Stark family husky breeding business, which uncle Ben was currently managing. In the autumn Bran would begin his business management studies, and together with Sansa, already being a veterinarian assistant, unless she's changed her mind about moving back home, those two would become a leadership duo to reckon with, she was sure of it!

A wet snout on her cheek startled her and brought her out of her musings.

"Ghost! You scared me, boy." She nuzzled his head and gave him a hug. "Oh hey there, McCoy. You found a best buddy in Ghost?"

Jon chuckled, "pretty much! The past many months it's as if when you find one white furball the other white furball is usually close by."

Past few years Dany had brought the cats to Dragonstone for the summer because they loved being outdoors, and King's Landing didn't exactly have an abundance of nature. This year with Jon and Ghost being here as well Dany thought it'd be a perfect way and time for all the boys to bond further and hang out in their natural habitat. Needless to say her experiment had been a big success.

"And the other furballs?"

"Kirk tend to find Dany fairly quickly and, if my observations are correct, he's been up in that tree—" he pointed behind himself to the large old tree not far from where they were all gathered, "—for several hours now."

All surrounding chattering halted even Rhaegar stopped playing the guitar and everyone, almost in unison, looked at Jon then to the tree then back at Jon. Stunned. As was she. How did he know that?! Can he see in the dark?

Vis was the first one to speak. "You guys do realise that the only reason Jon is still around is because he's always been extremely good at observing and analysing his environment, right?" He was clearly amused by everyone else's dumbfounded looks.

"...pff...right well, we can't all be trained to have ninja-like skills..." Why did I say that out loud? She almost rolled her eyes at herself.

"The years with the Night's Watch honed his abilities, Arya, but he didn't learn them there. Without them he most likely wouldn't even have made it that far." Without giving any sensitive information away, Viserys had in a few sentences displayed how well he'd gotten to know Jon and his past.

Once again she was amazed by her eldest brother and what he was capable of. If this is his level of knowing where everyone is despite having been here, setting up camp and fireplaces most of the day.... She wasn't sure if she wanted to ask the question lurking in the back of her mind. Maybe the rumours about the Night's Watch and their near surgical precision with which they carry out missions isn't exaggerated at all? Maybe it's really true? Maybe that kind of observation is second nature to Jon now after all those years of depending on it for survival? She knew her brother was trained to kill if necessary, but she hadn't really contemplated the depth of what that entailed. How it would affect every part of his life not just psychologically, but physically and emotionally as well. How even now surrounded by family and loved ones, seemingly relaxed, he was still watching and guarding. A little sad smile crossed her lips when she noticed where he'd placed himself: with his back to the aforementioned tree so he was able to have a clear view of the open fields all the way up to the castle and the water over by the side.

"What about Spock?" This time Marg was the one breaking the silence.

"Oh ah," he laughed lightly, "he's spending his days with Phantom. They've become quite the pair around here."

"Phantom?" Rhaegar looked puzzled

Rhaella chimed in now. "The horse I told you about, Rhae. The one the Baratheons wanted to be put down because they couldn't get him to race. They were furious there was 'no return on the investment' so to speak. They said he was uncontrollable. I believe the words 'mad' and 'crazy' were being used more than once."

"Fucking Stags!" Damn right, Rhae!

Margaery was looking straight at Rhae as she was slowly nodding, clearly agreeing with him. Her brother Loras and Renly Baratheon had been 'a thing' for a few years now, and more than once had she head Marg refer to Renly as 'one of the most pompous jackasses' she'd ever met.

"Language dad! You owe 5 dragons to the cursing jar!" Despite Rhaegar's attempt to keep his voice low his daughter had heard him anyway, and not everyone was able to hold in their laughter at the sight of the little girl scolding her father wagging her index finger at him.

"You're right, I'm sorry Nys." Rhae blew a kiss to his daughter who was currently wrapped up in a blanket  and sitting in Margaery's lap. He turned and looked at Jon when he asked, "so how did you manage to get to him?"

"It wasn't easy I'll tell you that!" Jon shook his head. "He arrived on the ranch in the evening, bolted from the enclosure after only a few hours and there was no way of getting him back in. When anyone approached he ran off again. So I began camping out here. Wanted to get him used to my presence. First time I saw him, really saw him, he was coming out of the morning fog. He looked right at me as if to say, 'what in the hells are you looking at? Who do you think you are?'" He smiled at the memory. "He's been mistreated so much that he isn't scared anymore of what you can do to him. To him humans simply means pain. So he's angry, very angry. Very mistrusting. Obviously feelings I could relate to." He shrugged as if to say it wasn't a big deal, but she knew better. He's found a kindred spirit. A fellow survivor.

Jon was staring into the flames so he didn't notice the looks and smiles being shared around the fire, but she did. Especially the look between Rhaella, her dad and Rhae, they look so proud, and between Vis and Dany. Did he just give his final 'approval' of Jon? Yeah buddy, my brother can cure animals others have doomed! Boom! Dany snuggled closer to Jon as he sat with his arms wrapped around her.

"But," her mom look unsure, "you said he and Spock had become a pair..?"

"Yes, he seems to be ok with smaller animals - and as you probably know the smart ones don't like being alone." Again with the shrug. "You should see Spock sitting majestically on Phantom's back. It's quite a sight." Jon threw his head back laughing. "Although," he continued through heaving chuckling, "he does move a bit when you join him on Phantom's back."

Dany had so far been sitting quietly on a sheep's skin on the ground between Jon's legs leaning back against him, but she bolted right up, turned and said, "you've ridden a horse that was deemed unrideable?!"

She couldn't see Dany's face from where she was sitting, but based on her tone she sounded surprised, impressed or proud. Or maybe all three?

"I have." Jon looked and sounded proud. Go Jon! "More than once although mostly at night."

"At night?!" Her mom looked shocked.

"Yes. He seeks out my company more during the night. He knows I'm awake and besides," he sighed and stared back into the fire, "that's when all the memories come back, so....we keep each other company."

"But," her mom continued. Jeez, relax mom! Jon knows what he's doing. I think... "You can't see at night, child!"

"But he can. I just need to trust him and keep my head down."

"Is he fast?" She couldn't keep the question in any longer. It had been nagging ever since they'd started speaking about the horse.

Jon grinned. "He runs like we just robbed the bank and have a horde of Dothrakhi screamers on our tail."

There was a choir of loud laughter around the fire. Her dad had laughed so hard he'd startled poor little Aegon curled up asleep in his lap, head resting on his chest. Luckily 'uncle Ned' had immediately calmed him down and the little silver-haired boy was fast asleep again. Maybe one day he'll have a little silver-haired grandchild of his own, wouldn't that be something?

Sansa pulled Jon's sleeve slightly. "Why did you even try? I mean, he wasn't injured - you could've just let him be and made sure he had enough food etc. How did you know he didn't want to be alone?"

"Horses are social creatures. Solitude is fine in small amounts, but prolonged periods is bad for their wellbeing. Physically and mentally. Just like us." He gave Sansa a wink before continuing, "and, because in my personal humble opinion leaving him be without trying would be the same as giving up on him. Giving up on him would be the same as wasting his life. Wasting his life by letting him shun any and all social interaction would be the same as slowly killing him. Killing a colt at this age, unless there's a serious injury or illness, is the same as throwing away a life - and you don't throw a whole life away just because he's banged up a little."

Instantly Dany was on him, kissing him fiercely. Paying no mind to the whistling and hollering from their families. When she finally withdrew there were clear tear tracks on her cheeks. She couldn't really blame her. They all knew his last line had been about much more than 'just' a horse.

——————————

A few weeks later, and it was Robb and Margaery's wedding day and she was currently standing in a hotel suite watching her eldest brother look like he was about to faint. Robb and their dad had helped him sit down and Grey had fetched him a glass of water. Still no reaction. He was just sitting there. Looking like his circuits had all been fried.

It all makes sense now though. Late last night Sam had been knocking on their door. He had showed up with Jon's clothes. But why not just bring it to the suite where Robb and Jon were staying? Her dad had only told her she'd understand tomorrow - and yes, she understood now. She understood why Robb and their dad looked so nervous, but she couldn't wipe the smile off her face even if she wanted to.

"I thought I lost it," he whispered. "I thought I'd lost everything."

Robb was crouching in front of him. "You did, but dad helped pull some strings for you. We know how much this means to you."

"Just dad?" Jon look sceptical down at Robb.

Dad, sitting next to Jon, cleared his throat. "No, not exactly. Lord Commander Mormont, Commander Selmy and even President Tyrell has helped getting this done for you. Everyone agreeing that you deserve it."

Silent tears were rolling down Jon's cheeks.

It's pretty awesome dad's been able to do this. Father of the Year award goes to...drumroll... He had talked to Lord Commander Mormont of the Night's Watch who had agreed immediately. Commander Selmy too had said there shouldn't be an issue given that President Tyrell too agreed. Luckily she did. Sam had agreed to pick up and prepare everything so that all dad and Robb had to do was present it to Jon. Which they'd done this morning: his dress uniform including his sword and honourary medals of valour. All pressed and polished and ready for him to wear.

She looked at the guys next to her. Like her Bran was smiling - even Grey was smiling! She glanced at the boxes in Bran's lap containing Jon's medals.  

"You sounded so broken when I asked you, and maybe I shouldn't even have asked I'm so sorry Jon, but..." he sighed. Robb, you're babbling! "Afterwards I had to tell dad and I pleaded with him if there was anything - anything at all - we could possibly do."

"Thank you. Thank you so much. Both of you. All of you. I..," he chocked on his tears.

"Guys, sorry to be the one to burst your bubble, but you really need to get dressed." Bran was tapping his left wrist with his right index finger indicating they had somewhere important to be.  

"Right!" Robb shot up. "I'll stay here with Jon. You guys go do your thing."

"Grey are you and Bran both ready?"

"Yes, Dr. Stark. All packed and ready."

"Good, thanks so much, Grey."

"No problem at all, Dr. Stark. Bran and I had a lot of fun, Sir." Always so polite! Just like Sam.

"Arya you're ready to pick up the little ones."

"Yup! Aegon's going to be so psyched when he sees you, Jon! Not to mention Dany." She sniggered. "She's going to faint seeing you in that. Lord Dayne in uniform!"