#it took me like 4 hours to get through the entire ep

[idealisticrealism]

TCL 3x06 thoughts (and many feelings)

Well, as expected, this ep basically broke my heart into a million tiny pieces- but still, they really did give Arman the best send-off that they could given the circumstances, and I’m so, so grateful for it.

Breaking the recap up a bit differently this week because I have a lot to say about everyone lol

But of course, I have to start with my beloved boy Arman, and Armony. I always knew that this ep was going to break me, and man, they didn’t waste any time doing it… less than 4 mins in and the tears were already flowing from hearing him saying the Reloj line, because seriously, knowing that this was his one chance to pass on a message to the people in his life, and that he chose that??? God it was powerful seeing Nadia and the others incorrectly assuming the message simply meant that he was running out of time, vs seeing Thony's jaw clench on hearing it because she knew the truth, knew that it was meant for her alone. In some ways, it was a “I think my time is up and I'm the one leaving forever in the morning, and that's okay” kind of message, but it was also a “this is me telling you I love you, because I never got the chance before”, and a “no matter what they do to me, in my mind I'm there, dancing with you by the fire.” No wonder she reaches for a beer the moment she gets home, knowing that there’s the chance she will be able to hold him in her arms again in only a matter of hours, but not being able to do anything to make it happen except just sit and wait for news. Well, at least until the moment she sees the report and understands Dante’s involvement, and then there’s no holding back anymore, no more trusting others to save him. Her blind determination to go find him and bring him home is exactly like how she acted when Luca was dying or when Fi was deported; it’s the way she always responds when someone she loves desperately needs her, and I love that Arman is so clearly in that category. (Okay gotta break this up bc of Tumblr's character limit lol)

Anyway ugh the entire time she was at the apartments I could feel my heart in my throat, because god, she got so close. (Oh and the way she instantly recognised the jacket and then knew with a single sniff that it was his?? Help???). But anyway ugh when the kid pointed them to the apartment, and she saw him right there through the window, only for him to be stolen away again in the mere couple of minutes it took her to get back around to the apartment’s front door.... Ughhh these two have been star-crossed from the start, but it was so hard to watch the final acts of their tragedy unfolding. I'll never be over the fact that for days, he was kept in a haze of drugs and pain, and yet we (and Thony!) know from his message that he spent that time thinking of her, escaping his reality by living in the moments they’d shared. And her own drug-induced hallucination of him was equally heartbreaking… god, to see her be so honest and unreserved in the way she looked at him and held him and spoke to him ("I’m gonna take you home, I'm never gonna let you go again”)... like damn, in that moment we really got to see the unfiltered, uninhibited truth of her feelings for him, the truth she never got to tell him and that he never got to hear.

But still, I’d like to think that he knew it anyway, especially when he saw her there in that car– saw that she had come for him, that she was trying so hard to save him, even at risk to herself. (Naturally I wish that we could have had his real face for that heart-wrenching moment of goodbye, but it was close enough, and when it comes down to it, that moment was still truly Arman and Thony no matter what). And while I’m sure Arman would have wished that he could live, that he could have stayed and built a life with her, we also saw multiple indications in the past 2 seasons that Arman knew and accepted that an early death was likely for him, if not practically inevitable, just like it had been for Mateo and Carlos and Bosco. And so for him to get to go out on his own terms, and in the act of saving Thony? It was exactly the death that he would have wanted. (On first watch I was sobbing too hard to notice that he didn't just knock the gun away and cause chaos in the car, he actually also grabbed the wheel and deliberately drove them off the cliff, meaning he truly chose for himself how he met his death). Honestly, it was literally the exact kind of ending I'd been predicting for him ever since s1– both the culmination of his hero arc, and also the ultimate fulfillment of his vow to protect her.  I'm so, so thankful that he got to have that, got to go out fast and painlessly and like the hero he was, rather than dying in the hangar or alone in that grungy apartment, and I’m even more thankful that he got to see her one last time, got to have that final goodbye with her. He died knowing she loved him and never gave up on him, and knowing that his death would ensure she got to live on; and for him, that would have been everything. And as devastating as it was to see Thony on her knees on the cliff, staring up into the sky as everything faded into white and El Reloj began to play... it was also heartbreakingly beautiful- seeing them dancing together again truly felt like getting a glimpse into his heaven, like it was telling us 'This is where he is now. This is where he'll always be"- and though it'll still always hurt to have lost him, I can be at peace with that.

(Though ngl, this ep was full of 'if onlys' that are going to haunt both us and Thony forever... If only Chris hadn't blocked the toilet today of all days. If only Thony had called a different plumber. If only JD's friend hadn't gotten him the arrest report. If only Ramona hadn't put a tail on Thony that caused her and Fi to have to rely on Jeremy for a ride rather than going on their own. If only Thony had been able to trust that Jorge wasn't involved and had called him instead. If only Nadia hadn't sent her the address for the meet location. If only if only if only. The show has always centred around this theme (all the way back to 1x01 and ‘if only Thony hadn’t encouraged the underground fighter to make her own choices, then the fighter may have done what Theo ordered her to and deliberately lost the fight, and then Tarik wouldn’t have killed Theo and Thony wouldn't have witnessed it, and none of this would have happened’), and it's a vital aspect of both the storytelling (because if none of that had happened, then there's no story at all) and also of Thony's character development. But obviously in this instance we all know that the writers had no other choice, and that there was no way this ep could have gone differently anyway, not after the loss of Adan. We know that, but Thony doesn't, and so it's going to be devastating to see Thony blame herself for yet another death, especially the death of someone she loved so deeply.)

But alright let’s talk about who is actually responsible for Arman’s death, because while Thony inadvertently contributed to it, she absolutely wasn’t the one who directly led to them being in that situation! Let’s start with Dante: firstly, I knew it was very suss that he ‘accidentally’ killed that guy in the last ep! And then when I saw the BTS pics for 3x06 last week and saw that Thony and Fi were going to go to the same apartment buildings that Dante got arrested at, it was clear that he was definitely involved in Arman’s abduction somehow. So either it’s option 1, and that giant bastard knew just how deeply Ramona wanted Arman back in their lives and figured he could not only give her what she wanted, but could also use the opportunity to score a fuck-ton of money without Ramona ever knowing of his involvement; or it’s option 2, and he abducted Arman on Ramona’s orders so that she could a) get her hands on a bunch of Nadia's money, and b) receive Arman's gratitude for saving him, which would then lead to his return into the family. Personally I think that option 1/Dante working alone is much more likely, and I'd also prefer it to option 2, because if Ramona was involved it would completely ruin the enjoyment I’ve been getting out of her character and her sibling relationship with Jorge. So I'm really hoping that it was all just Dante’s plan, and that Ramona and Jorge believe Thony when she tells them about Dante’s role in Arman's kidnapping (and therefore his death) and then they fucking murder him for it. 

Speaking of murdering, that brings me to Jeremy Fucking Dolan. (Yes, I literally looked up his last name on IMDB purely bc I felt the need to put a curse word in it). It’s funny, but from the very first moment his character was announced and it was mentioned in his bio that he would befriend Thony while hiding a dark secret, I had an almost irrational level of hatred for him, even more than I had for Jorge’s character, which was definitely odd and inexplicable given that Jorge’s bio made him sound like he was purely meant to be an unwanted ‘Arman 2.0’/potential love interest, which I obviously did not want in the slightest. But if I’d been given the option to get rid of one of them before S3 even started, it would have been Jeremy with no hesitation. The moment he made his appearance, I called it that he was actually an undercover FBI agent who was using Thony to get to Arman, which was maddening enough because she just didn’t deserve to be manipulated in that way, or to be betrayed by someone whom she had been isolated and vulnerable enough to risk trusting. And then that undercover bastard not only uses her, but ends up being the very reason that the FBI shows up right at the worst moment– not only preventing the exchange, but also causing the chase that kills Arman??? I don't care if he was only doing his job and trying to catch criminals, goddammit, I still hate him so much, and it's going to destroy Thony (even more than she already has been destroyed after losing Arman) when she eventually puts it together and realises that her trusting Jeremy directly contributed to Arman’s death. Which is why I’m over here violently daydreaming of a moment sometime late in the season where Jorge and Ramona finally manage to capture Jeremy, and then they bring Thony in and let her pull the fucking trigger and end him. (I mean, is it at all likely that she would go that dark, even to avenge Arman? Well, no. But thinking about it certainly gives me great satisfaction so I’m sticking with it lol)

Anyway, moving onto something more positive– if you wanna find the MVP of this ep, you only have to look at Fi!!! I loved her for the kind and understanding way she addressed Thony's connection to Arman, and the way she almost got Thony to acknowledge her feelings for him. Though I guess in that moment she could see that Thony still wasn’t ready to talk about it, and so she tried to ease Thony's mental discomfort by shifting focus to jokes about Jeremy (gross). Still, throughout the ep she was just so completely ride or die for Thony, like she has always been, and honestly Thony needs that, needs her. And not just for her badass lock-picking skills haha (taught to her by Paolo maybe??). Basically, Thony is like the Frodo of this series, carrying a huge burden and going through unimaginable things, but Fi is like her Sam, and it’s only with Fi’s support that Thony is able to keep pushing forward through everything. Obviously the loss of Arman, the other vital person in her life (does that make him Gandalf??) is going to be absolutely crushing for her, and I think Fi is going to be even more incredible in the coming episodes as she supports Thony through her grief and devastation. Ngl, I already had a fic idea about Fi going and getting Arman's jacket back for Thony, and it makes me cry just thinking about it ugh

In addition to Fi and Thony, I did love the whole De La Rosa fam vibe early in the episode, with Chris and Jaz bickering, and Thony and Fi making a fuss of Luca, and then Chris gently telling them to ease off when Luca got overwhelmed– it felt so nice to have them all reunited again and just getting to be a ‘normal’ family getting ready for school in the morning, and for Fi and Thony to be dealing with problems like blocked toilets and wet clothes rather than threats of deportation or dangerous cartels or the FBI. Chris worrying over missing Camila’s call was super cute too; I’m glad we got to have another mention of her and I hope we get to see her again soon. As for Luca, I’m really happy he’s started school, mostly bc it frees up Thony’s schedule haha, but also because it’s an important step for both him and Thony in moving forward with their lives. Thony has lived in an endless loop of ~My Child Is Dying~ for 6 years, and finally (thanks to her and Fi and Arman, like she said in the ep) that cycle has finally been broken. Luca will always need careful monitoring of his health, of course, but Thony isn’t trapped by his illness anymore, and I’m excited to see what potential  paths that will open up for her. I will always wish that one of those paths could have been a relationship with Arman, and I'm sure she does too, but as long as she finds happiness and purpose, I'll be satisfied.

Okay, so Jorge showing up at the school was pretty great honestly; like he says, it kind of is their thing to just show up uninvited into each other's spaces, and plus I think he actually truly did want to help make the moment a little easier on her by being there and distracting her/reassuring her as a fellow parent. I also loved the sweatshirt mention lol, it was a good throwback and I enjoy that he’s comfortable enough with her to tease her. Just shows how much their relationship has changed in the week or so since he first tossed that sweatshirt at her in a different school parking lot!! And he definitely won points with me here by going out of his way to get the info for her about the legal/CPS stuff without being asked, and though he explained it away as basically just him buying her influence over Arman in regards to the Sin Cara business, again I think he just genuinely wanted to help. Like Arman, he doesn’t get the opportunity to do many things that are purely good and noble, and so the feeling of getting to help her and Luca clearly has somewhat of an intoxicating effect on both men haha. Even with the loss of Arman (and so the loss of his supposed reason for helping Thony with the CPS stuff) I don’t doubt that Jorge will still help her with it once he’s satisfied that she had nothing to do with Arman’s death. But ugh speaking of Arman, the way Jorge questioned her about her connection to Arman… he already knows that Thony’s husband only died a few months ago, and as far as he knows from Nadia's behaviour, her and Arman’s marriage was solid, so it’s understandable that the intensity of Thony’s loyalty to/concern about Arman is a bit confusing to him. And because he doesn’t understand it, he’s always going to view her with at least a trace of suspicion until he learns the truth. Which may even be as soon as next ep– it looks like Jorge and Ramona are going to be demanding answers from Thony about how Arman died/ whether she betrayed him to the Feds/ how she was even there in the first place etc etc, and honestly I'm desperately hoping we'll get some kind of "I would never betray Arman! I LOVED him!" outburst from her that makes both Jorge and Ramona stop in their tracks because of how clearly heartfelt and honest it is. And ngl, while we’ve seen Thony indirectly state or demonstrate her love for Arman multiple times now, it would really mean a lot to me to hear her just say it openly without holding back. Not to mention that I think it would also really help pave the way for her to be accepted into the Sin Cara/Sanchez family, which would make for interesting viewing for the rest of the season.  

Speaking of the Sanchez family, I enjoyed the flashback and getting the backstory about the caddy, and seeing more of the Eduardo/Ramona/Jorge dynamic. (I’m trying so hard not to be nitpicky about the fact that young Arman's hair was straight and young Jorge's was curly, when it should have been the opposite, lol). But I’ve been thinking a lot about what Eduardo says to young Arman in that moment about how the only way to be a good man is to work hard and make an honest living, and I think that before we meet him in S1 Arman had really internalised that, and didn’t see himself as being a good man even though he wanted to be, which is why it hurt him so much to have Thony reinforce that belief during their argument at the wedding in 1x03. But then through helping her and forming a connection with her, he sees that even though she’s witnessed him at his worst, she genuinely does believe he is a good man, and it allows him to start believing it of himself for the first time. The flashback also definitely gave us more of a sense of Arman’s relationship with Ramona and Jorge, and really added another layer to him not selling off his caddy despite the direness of his debt to RK. What Nadia said to Ramona about the caddy being Arman’s dream car seemed to prove to Ramona that Arman still loved her and Jorge, and never truly turned his back on them… and so hopefully her sense of family and honour will mean that she will now consider Nadia and Thony– Arman’s family– to be her family as well. I also really enjoyed the scene of Jorge and Ramona sitting together in the caddy, discussing their business choices/differences in their life plans, and also talking about Arman and his good heart… they’ve definitely both grown on me, partly because they’re well written, but mostly because they've helped Thony and they genuinely care about my boy Arman. I’m sad we'll never get to see an Arman and Jorge brotherly reunion, because that could have been truly great. But tbh what I’m really wondering is what will happen to my beloved caddy now that Arman's gone... will Nadia want to get rid of it because seeing it is too painful?? Will Jorge offer to take it? Will I get my dream of Thony being the one to keep it lol? Doubtful, but one can always hope.... (and I guess there’s always that fic I’ve been planning to write about it for like 3 weeks lol)

Sigh, poor Nadia gave me a lot of feels in this ep. She is working so hard to get Arman back, and handling herself amazingly well under incredibly stressful circumstances. She dealt calmly with the kidnappers (which Ramona was clearly very impressed by... a potential protege there, perhaps?). Nadia also politely yet firmly declined Ramona’s plan for Arman to be basically kept in their home, despite knowing how powerful Ramona is and how risky it would be to piss her off.  She also insisted on being at the exchange to get him back despite the risk to herself (and possibly partly because she still doesn’t trust Ramona’s intentions). She trusted Thony with the meet location, despite their complex history, despite knowing that it meant that she would have to share her reunion with her husband with the other woman he loves. Even if she only gave Thony the address because it meant getting to have a highly-trained doctor there who could be trusted completely with Arman’s life, it still means she put Arman’s wellbeing above her own wants. Honestly I respect the hell out of Nadia, and literally the only consolation I have about losing Arman is that at least I'll never have to watch her go through the heartbreak of Arman still choosing Thony over her despite all their history and everything she’d done for him. Of course, we still have to watch her going through an absolutely horrific heartbreak of a different kind, but at least instead of being alone in it, she has Thony to share that pain with. (Or at least, she will, when she gets past her initial anger and blame towards Thony). It's almost a certainty that Thony and Nadia's connection will continue and even strengthen throughout the rest of the season, and I strongly believe that Thony is going to do everything she can to support and protect Nadia now, not only because she genuinely does care about her, but also because it’s the only thing she can do now to honour Arman and give thanks for all he did for her.

Okay, last couple of things: I loved that even despite her desperate search for Arman and the ticking clock that was hanging over their heads, Thony still stopped and helped the kid’s grandfather. It was very true to who she is, and how she can’t not help the people in front of her that need her. And tbh in terms of TV medicine, this instance actually wasn’t too bad haha, even if her Epley manoeuvre was a bit off. The fact that the man turning to look at the clock helped her diagnose the vertigo was also a cool reference to the ep’s title/theme as well. But anyway the reference that I can’t quite figure out yet is the word Thony saw written in the dust on that mirrored platter thing; I’m assuming Arman wrote it as a clue in case someone found the apartment? It seems to say something like ‘Marin’ which means nothing to me rn, but they very intentionally included a shot of Thony seeing it, so I guess its meaning will become clear in the next ep or two? 

Anyway, this has been many many words and feelings, so I’m just gonna end it with this, the prayer that Thony spoke as Arman walked out of prison in 2x02, because it feels even more tragically fitting now:

Now he is freed Through your blood on the cross Through the blows to your face And through the crown of your thorns that pierced your head Deliver him from all evil From the rigor of injustice From the torment of conscience And from all darkness Welcome him into Paradise Where there will be no more sorrow No more weeping or pain Give him the blessings of the life to come As he enters into the kingdom of peace and light.

[sailorsplatoon]

does acht still DJ on the surface? i like to think acht has usurped a room of fours apartment and moved all of their DJ stuff into there. four maybe plays a traditional instrument like guitar and provides samples which acht proceeds to turn into the most fucked up music ever </3

Yes!!! Four plays bass guitar (this applies to literally every Agent 4 oc I have ever made) and Acht will often sample what they play and incorporate it in their music in the most ungodly way possible. Four absolutely loves it.

Despite being forced to make music in the Deepsea Metro, Acht still loves it no matter what. Continuing to make the music they love is kind of like their final “f-you” to Tartar. They enjoy making music so much more now that they’ve escaped the metro because they can actually feel joy from what they’ve created. Four encourages it as much as possible and will always support their partner’s hobbies.

Before meeting Acht, Four was actually a fan of their music. It’s a dream come true for them to be able to help them make the music they would listen to so often.

I absolutely love the idea of Acht taking over a room in Four’s apartment solely for their DJing equipment!!! I’m going to run with that idea for a little bit or you don’t mind:

Four has to be careful where they step because of the wires everywhere. They’ve tripped over a few more than once.

Trying to relocate all of Acht’s equipment took an entire day because of how far underground the Deepsea Metro is, plus a solid hour of trying to get it into the elevator of Four’s apartment building. Then an additional hour of giving up and trying to drag it up the stairs.

Acht didn’t start out with the entire room for just their equipment, they initially had just one corner. As they bought more to make more advanced music, they gradually spread their equipment through the whole room.

Acht has a habit of staying up late making new music. They’ve unintentionally made 20 minute long songs before because they get so into it. Four will often stay up with them binging a TV show or playing video games. If they weren’t awake, Acht would end up waking them just to ask them to play a riff on the bass guitar. They don’t mind at all and are more of a night owl anyway.

Even though Four listens to Acht making their music, they still get excited when a new song, EP, or album releases. Acht made a remix of #14 crush just for them, but kept it a secret, only mixing it when they weren’t home, so that it would be a surprise. They even managed to sample some of Four’s bass playing for the remix without them figuring it out. It came out on Valentine’s Day. It pays to have an oblivious partner. (I’m thinking of this video in particular.)

Your ask came at the perfect time, I could feel the writer’s block setting in and you’ve given me motivation! Thank you!!!

[spider-man-2o99]

Captain's Log: been a couple minutes

hi. quick update. not dead. just had a psychotic episode nd was real fuckin freaked out bcuz of th blinding paranoia and all the other everythings for a couple months, there. i needed to take a break from tumblr for my own mental health, bcuz i was just... it just. got to be All Too Much, and when that damn movie dropped on top of it all, especially, but-- i digress. 

when i get scared, i hide. so. i took a break. because every time i logged onto tumblr, i would just purposefully spend hours looking at shit that i Knew would be emotionally distressing at best and actively triggering at worst--Do Not Do This, btw. shock, horror, surprise, CapCap, but yes, self-harm does in fact do harm to oneself--and it has largely been a long two months shivering in delusional-terrified-prey-animal-mode under a metaphorical fucking rock in the meantime... but, that said, i do still apologize to those of you who i made worry, going dead silent like that.

ep's over now. the time away was... good for me, i think. ultimately. 

even as odd as it is, as a result of it, to see the post-movie sm2099-sphere, and watch from the outside the effects of my own whale-fall as it ripples through that little space that used to just be mine to bear for so long, for the most part. funny little quiet echoes of my own ego and thumbprints i can only recognize because i see them on my own hands every day, and then idly kinda wonder if i deserve to even have had that kind of impact in the first place. the earnest sincerity of that kind of love frightens and flatters and completely, utterly, melts and destroys me, entire. it is sweet to be acknowledged. it is perplexing to Exist outside of myself, and be praised for it. 

..and it is amusing, sometimes, when i can occasionally tell that someone has just Sparknotes-ed from my fic instead of reading the comics because they misinterpreted one of the Jokey-Jokes and/or My Headcanons in there as actual 100-percent comic canon, lol (it's happened more often than you'd think?? im no snitch but i SWEAR im not making this up. im autistic i love 2 Recognize Patterns Across Multiple Bodies of Text 4 fun).

i don't know if i'm quite ready to be Back, yet. but. tonight, i am okay. and i Will Be okay, in the days to come, as well. things are hard now, but they will not always be. 

so. i'll see you later, whenever that is. i hope the future is kind to you. we'll get there together, even if it isn't.

[bengiyo]

Never Let Me Go Ep 7 Stray Thoughts

Last time, Palm and Neungdiao fled to the beach to hide after Tanya and Chanon got shot in front of the house. We met Palm's mother, and she begrudgingly took them if they agreed to work. Nuengdiao showed his multilingual prowess by checking in an international gay couple (who I demand return to the plot). Palm spent the entire episode high-key flirting with Nuengdiao, but I am almost certain their ending will be bittersweet now.

Ah, yes, let's begin with Nuengdiao trying to be a normal person, Palm being overly helpful, and bed wrestling. A whole week of Jojo shows is doing wonders for my soul.

The fact that Nuengdiao was clearly turned on, but then sucks his teeth at Palm is so funny. Phuwin and Pond are working so well together.

Episode title: GOOD FORTUNE. Trembling with excitement if people are going to be bold.

I'm so glad Palm is actually watching out for Nuengdiao, because he gets clocked as a rich kid immediately, and almost blew their cover with a credit card.

It's kinda fun when characters who like each other a lot stand really close. Modern audiences know it's because they want to be all up in each other, but if you grew up watching content in 4:3, actors had to stand this close just to be in the frame together.

THE RETURN OF DAVID AND WU. We are living!

I feel like there's some sort of commentary to be made about people using English to communicate when it's not their first language.

Of course Wu sidled up next to Nuengdiao to dish in Mandarin about proposing. I love this show.

Every time Palm does something obviously flirty Nuengdiao looks at him like, "I will fuck you."

Phum is back. I love Pawin, but this character is always starting shit. I'm sure Pawin had fun pretending to curb stomp Chimon.

And we get to see Perth kicking ass?? This episode just keeps on giving.

I hope I don't have to feel weird about this preferred hand later.

What would dramas be without rooftops with which to have earnest, open dialogue?

Ben is very self aware, which makes his self-recrimination land well.

I'm gonna say this every week of every show I watch with him, but I absolutely love Perth's voice.

I feel like Ben has to know that Chopper likes him, which makes me wonder what happened between them for neither to talk about it openly even on the rooftop.

I wonder if Phuwin chose to suck his teeth in annoyance whenever Palm makes him swoon a bit. It's a nice detail.

Oh, this proposal was sweet.

Foot baths??? Jojo every episode this show gets gayer.

Nuengdiao, you can't just start talking about marriage while this man is massaging your feet... Though I do appreciate that Nuengdiao is aware of his own temper.

This night scene in bed is really fascinating with the Eclipse having aired recently. This is another example of needing to use illusions and blinders to have a moment of intimacy.

This fishmonger said, "500 baht per hour?? They don't even pay that in America! Get the fuck out of here!"

100 baht per day? We are working for the experience.

I feel like this is the first time Nuengdiao has really acquiesced to Palm.

I do love when they let the gays have spirituality.

Not these fortunes also contributing to the melancholy.

Well, that's what we expected of how Chanon became indebted to the family.

Tanya isn't dead yet. I think I prefer the drama this way.

Kit is such a fun villain to watch. I really love the way Nat is playing him.

Chopper is visibly disgusted. Perth is also really good. Brilliant to pair him with Nat.

We get a wedding here and a wedding in 2Cutie2Pie this week.

Yes, Palm, take that drink out of his hand. I can't believe we almost had to go through the same plot twice.

I know she is an absent mother, but I do appreciate her asking about the romance in dramatic terms.

She said, "I know you kissed him!"

She also said, "Just hold on loosely, but don't let go. If you cling too tightly you're gonna lose control."

They are back in the room, and Nuengdiao is feeling randy.

Okay, continuity question. If Nuengdiao needs a phone, how do they know Tanya is in a coma?

Nuengdiao is going to be a great manipulator someday. He's preempting all of Palm's objections to get him to agree to date him, even if it's only on this island. Then this man says, "Kiss me like you mean it. Kiss me like you want me."

Ah, that was a tasteful fade. The fic writers will have much to play with.

Damn, and now Chanon got arrested. Looks like beach time is over.

[gimjarack]

The power of One Piece narrative pacing...

Its 12:30am as I type this, and i have just finished watching 10 episodes of One Piece in a row since 10pm. I took 2 Melatonin gummies at 10:15, which usually knock me out in half an hour. As you may have guessed, the sheer POWER of One Piece kept me hooked and awake for about 4 times the length of time the medicine was supposed to kick in. My head is still buzzing with energy and excitement, Good Lord. SPOILERS FROM HERE: Ok, so Luffy gets yeeted to the island of Amazon Lily, literally just the stereotypical “man gets Snu-Snu from entire island of Warrior Women” setup for a porno. Naturally as the certified badass Asexual... Himbo? Does Luffy met Himbo qualifications? He’s got the Kind, and the Stupid, but Beefy is very subjective here- like he HAS muscles and is strong enough to punch swords in just ep 1, but he’s scrawny as a string bean. Obvious counterpoint would be his Rubber Body, which he is later capable of making parts of him into GIANT LIMBS to demolish his foes, but does THAT count as being Beefy? Anyway regardless, Luffy brushes off da hoes who try to kill him (not a porno setup, but writers had fun making jokes about that lmao), then through a mixture of sheer kindness, sincerity, and unstoppable fighting spirit, accidentally charms the female Pirate Empress (one of da 7 Warlords btw) after being all “why would the trauma caused by those World Nobles on you make me hate you? I already told you I hate those guys, i punched one in the face!”

[tehohaews]

.

[starbuck]

You know, I get why a lot of people just rewatch the first three seasons of Black Sails... 3x10 is a lot more fun to watch when you pretend that what’s happening onscreen 99% of the time ISN’T ominous foreshadowing for the full season of Emotional Pain yet to come.

[thepermanentrainpress]

GLASWEGIANS: QUATERNARY

quaternary – glaswegians Release Date: March 11th, 2022

Track Listing:

1. pavilion 2. motavia 3. handedness 4. zugzwang

glaswegians is the solo instrumental project of Michael Elder, based out of Vancouver. quaternary was written over several years from 2017-2020, and mostly recorded from his home during the pandemic. This is a follow-up release to 2017’s severance, which also featured lengthy tracks. 

Despite being only four tracks, this album is a hefty hour and two minutes long. By nature, it is not necessarily an easy listen. There are no lyrics or vocals to be found, and there are literally dozens of instruments used to create an entire symphony. Throughout there are all sorts of complex, varied time signatures – entire songs hidden within each section.

Almost fifty(!) instruments were used in the final recording, ranging from electric guitar, piano and drums, to orchestral sounds like the cello and harpsichord, to the more obscure euphonium, omnichord, and Akai EWI 5000. I’m mind blown that all of them were played by one person – Michael himself. Aside from additional drum production by Jordan Elder and mastering by Angel Marcloid, this entire album was a solo endeavor. glaswegians is a project that could easily be the work of twenty people, all done by a single individual. 

“pavilion” is a light track with a heavy psychedelic sound. It’s very cheerful all around; I could see it being played by Electric Light Orchestra, especially the ending. Sections of it sounded like Rush or Pink Floyd – indeed, the primary influence for this EP was 70s prog artists like Mike Oldfield, King Crimson, and Camel. There’s a rising sound throughout; it takes a while to get to the climax, but when it hits, it leaves an impression of the sheer magnitude that is to come. 

“motavia” is still quite upbeat, though not as much as the previous song. The middle features a lot of minimalist, slow piano work. It would not be out of place in a classical music hall. Some of it even sounds like a lullaby, something soothing to drift off to. I felt relaxed and inspired after finishing it. "motavia” is a song to get oneself focused; a mood lifter during hard times. It would also fit right in with many video games, grinding another level or finishing that quest.

“handedness” has an old-timey feel. I could see some of this being played in an old Disney film, or scoring a quirky black and white French film. Despite the old-fashioned angle, it has a timeless, universal approach. Later parts could be used in a sample or riff for a totally different genre as rap or EDM beats. The ending is in contrast to the middle: almost maximalist with a powerful, booming finish. Truly an epic conclusion, like something you’d hear as the final notes at a concert.

We close with the most cosmic and strange of the tracks. “zugzwang” is extremely fast for most of its runtime. It really feels like listening to a jazz band jam – so many moments that make this being the work of one person remarkable. There’s a lot of passion and funk present, particularly in the last five minutes. One could be forgiven for feeling as if they’re in some kind of sci-fi movie, flying across space with Sun Ra. 

Having listened to this album several times, I was able to find new things to enjoy every run through. There’s so much going on; the ambience and sheer craft means you’ll love listening to it twice, thrice, or ten times. I can’t say I listen to hour-long symphonic instrumentals on a regular basis, but quaternary helped me appreciate the stylistic approach. It’s an awe-inspiring, ambitious EP clearly made with love and care. It took several years to create, but the end results are well worth it. 

Written by: Cazzy Lewchuk

quaternary by glaswegians

[tutuchlee]

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Star Gazers

Author note: Hey guys! Here is the sk8 infinity fic I have been working on for anon !

I apologize for the wait, I was planning to have it done last night but 3 hours in I accidentally refreshed the page and lost my ENTIRE fic!

I also apologize if the writing quality is not it’s best— after losing the fic yesterday I found it hard to rewrite many parts and struggled with find my groove again. I’ve rewritten this about 4 times now and this was the best I managed to do.

I hope you all enjoy regardless, and I promise to do better in the future!

Summary: After finally coming to his senses, Reki makes up with Langa, only for Langa to give him a piece of his mind!

Word count: 2767 

Warnings: Some swearing, tickles, this fic takes place at the end of ep 10, so SPOILERS for those who have not gotten that far

Ships: Reki x Langa

———————————————————————

Misery. 

It was the only word that came to mind to describe the hell of a week Reki had gone through. 

It wasn’t easy to come to terms with the skill difference between him and his friends, especially his boyfriend who had surpassed all of them in the timespan of a couple of months. On top of that-- getting beat up, hit by a car, then waking up in a random hotel room really put the cherry on top for the young skater. 

The world felt as though it was completely against the young firecracker. 

However, none of his injuries could compare to the heart aching pain he had to go through from pushing his boyfriend away. 

Langa deserved none of this, for how could he? He was naturally talented in skating, and Reki should have been proud. He was his teacher after all--and usually a teacher wants their pupal to succeed, but for Reki, he just wished he could compare. 

Langa no longer needed him. 

He’d already taught himself far more tricks than Reki could have dreamed of and perfected each and every one of them. Meanwhile, Reki was falling behind, and drowning in his own sorrow. 

Perhaps what upset him more was the fact he still wished to skate against Adam. Watching them the last time had set Reki off for quite some time, for how could it not? Adam touched Langa as if he owned him, and on top of that he was already calling the two of them Adam and Eve! Who even was this guy!

But even so, Reki knew his actions were wrong. Ignoring his boyfriend, yelling at him and even purposely avoiding him was definitely the receipt for the worse boyfriend award. 

And of all places he had to realize this, it had to be upon waking up in the love hotel with some random guy. He had rushed home as soon as he could after giving a heart filled reply to the strange man who had asked him to quit skating, and realized his love for skating didn’t happen from being better from everyone, but from skating with those you love. 

Which was how the two lovers ended up here; Reki sprawled out on his back with Langa taking a faceplant into his stomach at the skate park once used to teach snow his first ollie. 

A groan escaped from Reki’s mouth as he slowly propped himself on his elbows, using one of his hands to rub the back of his head. “Langa..!” he whined, looking down at the snowflake that had yet to move, “Why didn’t you dodge me!” he asked with a subtle pout on his face.

Silence passed over the two with no response from the other. Instead, Reki noticed a slight quivering of his shoulders, and his panic quickly spiked. Disregarding his injuries, his attention was now on his boyfriend which he feared was injured.

“Langa!” he called out once more, moving his hand away from his head to gently nudge the others back.

 That’s when he was met with those beautiful sky blue eyes, with none other than a huge grin plastered across his face as laughter spilled out. His anxiety soon melted away at the sight as his eyes lit up, taking in the sight of his Canadian boyfriend. 

And eventually Langa’s laughter died down to a comforting silence as the two lovers gazed into each others eyes.

It was moments like these that Reki both loved and hated. He loved looking at his gorgeous boyfriend, basking in the affection he always gave off—but hated that he could not last more than five seconds without becoming a flustered mess.

His cheeks had blossomed into a crimson red as he quickly brought his arm up, draping it over his face as an attempt to shield himself from the other. And as he peeled his eyes away he glanced off into the distance, trying to give himself a chance to calm down. 

“Did you hit your head or something..?” He asked, trying to break the awkward silence he had created.

However, for Langa, he adored Reki’s reaction each time, sometimes purposely doing things just to see his firecracker sizzle. It was not easy to tame the other, especially with his hyper personality, but he found that with a little affection he could get the other to soften down. So adorable.

So, as he looked up at the other, he was unable to hold back anymore. From the bottom of his heart, Langa began his barrage of compliments to the other, telling him how much he cherished him as a skater and a lover. Reki had taught him everything he knew-- and seeing him hate skating just because of it pained Langa more than he thought it would. 

It had been everything Reki needed to hear and more, filling the void he had created of self-doubt. His words comforted him like a blanket, making his previous view on himself disappear as he continued to spill sweet nothings. It was all too much for poor Reki.

Langa knew Reki couldn’t handle compliments, and Reki mentally cursed at him for it as the crimson tint slowly crawled to the tips of his ears. Unable to take much more, Reki quickly put his hand out, stealing a glance at the pale face as he cut him off, “That’s enough! That’s really enough..!” he muttered sheepishly.

Curse you Langa.

But truly, the redhead felt at ease from his anxiety. And as he let out an embarrassed cry, he slowly fell back onto the concrete as Langa’s words circulated throughout his head, playing like a broken record. 

Feeling satisfied, Langa slowly lowered his chin down atop Reki’s stomach again, pressing his cheek against him as he too laid with the other.

And as the silence continued, Reki’s thoughts only wandered, thinking about what his next step would be in terms of skating and making it up to Miya for breaking his trust. But—those thoughts were cut short when an electrifying jolt pulled him out of thought, causing an unattractive shriek to escape his lips as he immediately sat up, looking down at the culprit.

There Langa laid, burrowing the tip of his nose against the lining of skin exposed by his shirt, abusing the access by lightly peppering kisses along the soft tummy it showed. It felt as if there were butterflies battering their wings against his belly, sending shivers down his spine with each kiss.

“H-hey!” he screeched, his voice cracking as he squirmed beneath him, “Quit it, you know I can’t stand it when you do this!”

Did Langa know this? Perhaps. But would he stop now? No.

Those gorgeous blue eyes Reki loved so much slowly rose to meet his, a clear mischief behind them that he didn’t want to acknowledge. His arms slowly wrapped around his lovers torso, encasing him in a trap Reki with he’d seen sooner. 

“Reki, I haven’t been able to hear your laugh in over a week. Don’t you think thats a little cruel?” He asked, a look of disappointment yet playfulness on his face.

This was it for little Reki. His instincts to run were starting to kick in, but as he squirmed below the other he realized now there was no way of getting out of this. Perhaps, plan B?

“L-Langa, wai-AIT!” 

His voice cracked mid plead as two fingers found their way to his sides, jabbing into that practically sensitive spot just between his ribs and hips. His back snapped straight at the unexpected sensation, causing yet another yelp from the teen. 

In a desperate attempt to stop the other, he reached down and grabbed his shirt, hoping to shut him out of the unfair advantage he had of his bare skin. However, that attempt was deemed a fail after he pulled the shirt over Langa’s head, trapping him and his devious intentions inside.

Unable to help a smirk from growing on his lips, the now trapped Langa pressed his cheek against the others stomach, rubbing it gracefully against his skin as if to show he was getting comfy. He let the other have a moment, peacefully laying there as his plan was going better than intended.

Reki, on the other hand, was a squirming mess. His mind was becoming discombobulated as he tried to figure out what the next move from the other was. But that was proven difficult since all he could feel was Langa’s breath, lightly dusting against the hairs lining his belly, making each one stand on end.

All he could do now was plea, hoping that his snowflake would have mercy on him. But alas, his words only went through one ear out the other, having no affect whatsoever on the situation.

With a light chuckle, the assault began. 

The fingers glued to his sides began wiggling, digging out the laughter he patiently waited for. It took everything Reki had not to scream as he jolted from side to side, his voice cracking while he erupted with his shrieky laughter. 

 It truly was music to Langa’s ears. His head bounced against his quivering stomach, getting to feel and hear his laughter as it echoed all around the skatepark.

But was it greedy for him to want more?

As his fingers wiggled deviously into the curves of his sides, he decided to change it up. Without warning, his wiggling fingers came to a stop, and instead changing to something much more unbearable. 

They gently pinched the others skin, making sure to get right into the grooves of his side to hit the spots he knew he couldn’t handle. He’d move up and down much as his wrist allowed him to, occasionally vibrating a particular spot that got a good reaction from the redhead.

To add onto that, those butterfly kisses soon returned across his stomach, turning him into a pile of mush as he laughed his head off.

Reki was always known for his loud and cracky tone of voice, and it truly showed through his laughter that changed in pitch every few seconds, cracking and screeching every time his sides would get drilled. 

There was little to no hope of getting out of this, and no amount of shoving or pleads seemed to be working, so all he could do now was take it. 

Squeezing his eyes shut, he slowly fell back in a heap of laughter, squirming beneath his boyfriend holding him hostage.

Anyone walking around might question what crime scene was taking place in the skate park, but to their luck no one came to check.

Instead he was left there to laugh his throat hoarse by his boyfriend who seemed to be enjoying this much more than he was. 

For minutes on end, Langa would pinch and drill into his sides, occasionally spidering his finger nails across the bare skin to cause his poor redhead to twitch and cry out with laughter. 

“L-LAHAnga!” he’d repeatedly screech, shaking his head from side to side to indicate he was done with the torment. But to his demise, Langa was buried beneath his shirt, showing no signs of stopping.

In some ways, this was Langa’s way of taking out his stress on the other for the past week. Did Reki really believe he wouldn’t be upset?

Hearing him laugh now made up for all the times his heart shattered at the sight of his usual happy and cheerful boyfriend unable to even shed a smile. Seeing that there were no screams for him to stop, he only assumed his boyfriend was enjoying it too. 

So as he happily continued his assault, the kisses he’d been leaving around the open canvas came to a halt. 

Instead, he moved himself into position just below the others naval and took a deep breath, grinning as he slowly moved down to press his lips against the skin, blowing as much air as possible to create that loud ‘PFTT’ noise Reki once used on him. 

That's where his firecracker exploded, screaming out with laughter as he kicked his legs out, arching his back as his skin rippled below his lips. The vibration carried from his stomach and traveled up his body, causing almost a tsunami of ticklish sensations to follow. 

“LAHAHANGAAAHA!”

Holy shit-- it tickled to the point Reki thought he might die.

Tears of mirth collected in the corners of his eyes before spilling over as Langa decided to leave tiny raspberries around his naval, causing the poor redhead to completely lose himself.

It was unbearable. 

At this point his laughter was beginning to grow silent since the onslaught of baby raspberries weren’t stopping, and Langa’s hands were still torturing his sides with pinches.

Geez, where the hell did he even learn how to tickle like this!

“L-LangHA! I-I...I cahahan’t take it!” he managed to wheeze out between his screechy laughter, smacking his leg against the ground to show he was k.o’d. He started to desperately claw at the back of Langa’s shirt, trying with all the energy he had left to pull him away. 

His bladder wouldn’t be able to take much more of this, and at this rate he’d definitely lose his voice!

But to his relief, the attack began to slow. There was one final raspberry on the dead center of his naval that resulted in a snort from the redhead, adding yet another embarrassing noise to his index of screeches, but thankfully that marked the end to his attack.

The fingers that were torturing every inch of his sides slowed as well, but never retracted. Instead, Langa decided to give him a little treat, and instead gave him the light tickles he knew Reki loved.

With the tips of his finger nails, he barely brushed them against his skin, hardly making contact as he dusted them across his sides. 

Reki, whom was now a sweaty pile of mush on the ground, panted heavily as the other let up on his tickle attack. After giggles were all that remained, and upon trying to calm down he could feel Langa giving him his specialty. 

The tickles that made his skin crawl, but also calm him to the point of sleep. 

He loved them, and so did Langa. They were usually used during their cuddle sessions to calm the firecracker who couldn’t seem to sit still, and upon the discovery Langa used them whenever he could. 

So as he laid there catching his breath, he felt the spidery tickles calming his tickled mind. They skittered up his sides, dragging back down just to do it again. As if he wasn’t exhausted already, they brought the extra wave of comfort and sleep with them. 

Langa knew what he was doing. He planned on taking the tired out skater back to his place so they could sleep together. His sheets were no longer stained with the sweet scent of the other, and usually it took a lot of convincing to get Reki to agree to sleep over due to his constant state of being flustered.

So as he as treated Reki to his favorite ghost tickles, he slowly popped his head out from the cave that was Reki’s shirt, flashing him a soft smile despite his hair being disheveled from the static. 

Feeling the other finally arise from the cave he’d created beneath his shirt, he opened his eyes slightly to glance down at him, still a flustered mess with a hint of sweat lining his forehead. 

“You...you’re cruel.” he wheezed, bringing his arms up in defeat. 

Langa only grinned, looking down at the exposed torso Reki had left him, which he knew was 100% intentional even if Reki refused to admit to it.

“I love you, Reki.” Was his reply as he finally untangled his arms from around the others waist, instead moving them under his shirt to lightly spider all around his sweet belly, dusting the baby hairs all around the soft skin.

He even drew a faint heart as Reki visibly pouted, clearly trying to ignore the fluttering tickles despite Langa knowing how much he craved them.

With a huff, Reki eventually looked down at him, unable to hold back the smile that he was forcing out of him. And as he looked at his snowflake, he realized now how lucky he was to have a boyfriend like Langa. 

And with that, he sat up, reaching down to cup his boyfriends cheeks as he drew him in, pressing a soft kiss to those lips he was proud to call his, pulling away moments after with a tired grin. 

“I love you too, Langa.”

[thebestpersonherelovesbucky]

Falcon and the Winter Soldier: Ep. 4 Takeaway

Uh. No. No, I was not in any way, shape, or form prepared for that heart-wrenching opening. That raw emotion. The gut-punching fear. The devastation. The soul massive relief from under all that fear and pain. No, I was not ready.

“She’s just a kid.” This is why Sam should be Captain America. Look, no one can replace Steve Rogers. There will never be another Steve Rogers. But that’s not the point. Sam isn’t meant to replace anyone. He’s meant to be his own Captain America. A man who has the heart and soul of a person who doesn’t go looking for a fight. A man who will fight when it needs to be done. A man who reaches out with compassion first and fists second. Sam is the Captain America this world needs in these modern times and tbh it doesn’t deserve him.

“Those are our friends you’re talking about.” “The Avengers, not the Nazis.” Thank you for your contribution, Bucky. 😂 No, but, I really liked the our friends. Not just my friends, but our friends and Bucky concurring with that by pointing out who Sam means. 

Sam sharing the story about his TT. His family means so much to him as does community and I think that’s why he can relate to Karli and what she wants to do but also cannot condone how she’s going about it. 

Yes, if anyone wondered, Baron Zemo would sell out his family to the White Witch for some Turkish Delight. 

I do like Zemo stepping back into the more villainous role. While I enjoyed the humor from last episode, it never really sat right with me that they gave Zemo a “tragic” backstory. He was Hydra in the comics and it feels weird to me to change it in such a way. He was a supremacist so his new anti-supremacist ideals is...off-putting to me.  

“It wasn’t just one community coming together. It was the entire world.” Hence why Sam can understand Karli’s goals.

Sam assuming the leadership role so much in the episode. So much foreshadowing to what’s (hopefully) to come. 

When Bucky loses it with Zemo and Sam is like “Don’t engage. He’s just gonna extort you and do that stupid head tilt thing.” Not only is this more leadership from Sam it’s also showing how much he pays attention. He knows all their social cues. He knew Zemo was gonna do that probably before Zemo even did. In other words, Sam Wilson is remarkable. 

Sam calling Sharon for help. I wasn’t expecting her again so soon. Yay!!

As soon as John Walker steps on screen I want to punch something. 

“He’s dealt with worth. And he’s not my partner.” Look at Bucky backing Sam up while trying to play it cool. We all know you love him, Buck.

Sam talking to Karli. Coming to her from a place of understanding and genuinely trying to earn her trust because he does understand her pain. He’s filled with so much compassion and so much empathy and he knows how to employ both of them to better a situation and the world at large instead of coming in guns blazing. He gets it. And he wants Karli to know that he gets it. His approach to getting her to see that she’s going about it in the wrong way. But while she’s okay with acceptable loss, she in fact expects it, Sam is not. “No, it’s not a better place if you’re killing people. It’s just different.” Again, this is what makes him a good Captain America. 

“He knows what he’s doing.” Bucky’s faith and trust in Sam when Walker is literally itching for a fight. That...cold, obsessed look in Walker’s eyes was chilling. (I’ve given kudos to Mackie and Seb for their acting but I should also acknowledge Wyatt Russel’s chilling performance)) 

Thank you, John Walker, for coming in and making things better oh wait, no. Just come in a fuck things up. Super of you. 

Sam’s immediate “no” when Zemo asked if he’d take the serum if he was offered it and asking about Bucky being included in the “super soldiers cannot be allowed to exist.” “Blood isn’t always the solution.” Sam is just. I’m running out of words.

I’m now walking a thin line of patience with Bucky criticizing Sam over not taking the Shield. Like, yes, he’s right in that Steve’s wishes were not honored, but Sam is living the consequences wanting to do the right thing by giving the Shield to a museum. He did not and would not have ever handed it over to anyone to use, especially not a man like John Walker. Sam didn’t give it to him. The government did. The same way they’d’ve given the serum to a man like Gilmore Hodge. The same way they forced it upon Isiah Bradley and then experimented on him and locked him away. The same way they “agreed” that Sam was doing the right thing by turning the Shield over and then handing it to John Walker. This is not Sam’s fault.  

I could take hours of Ayo and the Dora Milaje kicking John Walker’s ass.

Ayo and the Dora Milaje. 

Did I mention Ayo and the Dora Milaje? 

I really want to know what Ayo said to Bucky there**. After everything the Wakandans did for him, I can understand why she did what she did. She helped give his freedom and his mind back to him. I know Bucky only intercepted in that particular fight because Sam asked him to and he didn’t (not totally) want them to hurt Walker but. They gave him this place of freedom and his actions (breaking Zemo out, getting involved in their fight) did disrespect them. 

The Dora stepping on and catching the Shield. SWOON.

“They weren’t even super soldiers.” Oh, boo freaking hoo. You don’t need the serum to be a superhero, dude. And the fact that you’re basing so much of this on that plus your obesssion to gt it just proves you’re not worthy of it. 

“Power just makes a person more of themselves, right?” Vs. “Because a strong man, who has known power all his life, will lose respect for that power. But a weak man knows the value of strength, and knows compassion."

Seriously, the expressions John Walker makes sends chills down my spine.

Karli calling Sarah. I actually thought she’d show up in person. Sarah’s comments about “Captain America” and her assurances that Sam is not working for Walker. 

Sam’s immediate protectiveness when Sarah calls him and Bucky’s worry on his behalf. Sam’s anger with Karli when they meet again and the fact that he didn’t argue with Bucky for him wanting to come rather than Sam going in alone. 

Sam and Bucky working together (anyone notice a lot less bickering??) is so amazing. I love them as a team. 

Sam’s face when he realizes that Walker took the serum. 

Quite honestly, if Bucky Barnes wanted to stab me with knives all night long, I’d let him. 

Not happy with them killing Lemar for white man pain. I’m sure there were other ways they could have had Walker rage out. 

That amazing parallel between Steve slamming the Shield down in Civil War to defend himself and Bucky and Walker killing a person who was just with Karli. 

Speaking of parallels, there was SO many in this episode. The serum vials being shattered. The bursting through the doors Shield first. The jumping out of the window with the Shield. Just wow. 

“The Whole World is Watching”. A quote from Black Panther when T’Challa did not kill Klaue, an actual terrorist. The title of this episode when John Walker kills a man who didn’t even incite his rage. 

And, of course, that final image. I’m still shaking over it. If there’s a better image for what America represents to the rest of the world, idk what is. I just want to cry after seeing what this man is doing with it. This is why he’s U.S. Agent who represents the “power” and “strength” and “might” of the United States. Not Captain America who represents the ideals and hopes of what any country can be. 

The acting in this is utterly incredible. The story has me reeling. My mind has been blown by each and every episode and I can’t believe there are only two left. 

**Edit: Got it now! Thanks to those who messaged/replied!! 

[xoxo-teddybear]

Oh, The Lies You Tell - Bakugou Katsuki - pt.9

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: angst, trauma, abuse, betrayal, fluff, slice of life, smut, cursing, manipulation, possible spoilers, physical harm, 18+, MANGA SPOILERS

Ep. Warnings: angst, cursing, minor injuries and blood, smut

Summary: It’s time for the journey back. The tension between Bakugou and Y/N is incredibly thick and while they want to speak to each other, they can’t find it in themselves to do so. The drama in between the two is ruining their chemistry and is faltering their abilities to work together and make it out of the woods alive.

A/N: weird place to put a smut in to but hey, we’re all a bunch of weirdos here ;) also it’s kinda short, Sorry! >w<

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 Pt.8 Pt.9

Bakugou was the first to wake up. He had risen from the pile of leaves still in his now dirty hero costume. His mask, that sat above his head, pushed his bangs back and exposed his puffy eyes and face. His throat was dry due to his previous sobbing and he sighed as he placed his head in his hands .

A soft breathing next to him caught his attention. You caught his attention. He watched as your chest slowly rose and fell due to your deep breaths and slumber. He took notice of your eyes that were also puffy and saw tear streaks that had dried. His lip quivered at the sight of you and on instinct, his hand went in to caress your cheek. After a moment, he remembered that it wasn’t his place to do so anymore and retracted his hand. Suddenly, the memory of your words rang through his head.

“There is no more ‘us’ anymore, Bakugou.”

It stung and he had to hold his breath for a second to fight his sobs that prayed to break through. New tears pricked at his eyes but he refused to let them fall. He shouldn’t feel this way. You were a liar. A traitor. You played him for a fool and broke his heart. He gave you his all and allowed you to hold his entire being in the palm of your hand and you completely crushed him. So why does he still love you so damn much?

He hated you. He wanted to hate you so bad. Wanted to completely forget about your existence and pretend you never mattered to him.....but he couldn’t. Not when he put his all in you. Not after you became his first time, kiss, and love. But for the sake of him and the heroes, he had to try and harden his heart from you. It was the right thing to do....right?

He let go of his breath as he turned to shake you to wake you up. “Prin- Y/N. *sigh* Y/N. Wake up.”

You began to mumble and turn in your sleep as your eyes slowly opened up to the sight of a slightly disheveled Bakugou. “C’mon Y/N, we have to go. We gotta find our way back.”

You released the adorable yawn that Bakugou always loved and sat up as you became aware of your surroundings once more. You looked towards Bakugou remembering last night and saw how he just sat up and stared ahead. “I’m surprised you didn’t just leave me behind.”

“.....Yeah well...as much as I hate your dumbass now...I still love you,” he stood and walked towards the exit, “Trust me, if I could leave you behind, I would’ve. But I can’t bring myself to do it. So hurry up and let’s get back to UA.”

You nodded your head and used your water bending to put out the fire that remained lit the whole night. You followed Bakugou out of the cave and began your journey back to UA. What a journey this’ll be.

—

You both had been walking for an hour already and you haven’t really exchanged any words. You didn’t speak on the elephant in the room and just remained silent. It was a shame that Rumor was still with Aizawa. If he was here, you both could’ve easily gotten back. You had tried Rumor’s whistle numerous times but he never showed. I guess you were too far away for it work.

What you didn’t know was that back at UA, every time you blew the whistle, Rumor fought against restraints to go out and find you. All Might and Mr. Aizawa had heard of the attack and left Rumor to Midnight who kept him under strict hold. The poor changeling fought and fought and even tried to change into multiple creatures but nothing worked.

When The two pros arrived on the battle field, they took notice of the villains and All Might was quick to disperse of them. Aizawa tended to the students as he noticed that majority of his class was knocked out and a few were seriously injured and covered in blood. Once All Might forced Kurogiri’s hand to open a portal for the villain’s leave, he tended to the other class. The retired pro bowed his head to honor the bodies of the few students who had lost their lives, and took care of the situation. Help came and the students were in the infirmary while next door, Rumor still struggled.

It wasn’t until the changeling grew feral and changed into a dinosaur, breaking the chains and roof. He was quick to transform into his giant hawk form as he flew to the skies in search of you, hoping you would blow the whistle once more so he could locate you.

—

Bakugou had been looking forward the whole time. He walked ahead of you and never once looked back to take a glance at you. He knew if he did, he would break. He had to keep going. He also had to think ahead. What was he gonna do once he got back to UA? Expose you and tell everyone the truth? Get rid of you? Let you get away with everything?.......Forgive you and let everything go back to how it was before? He didn’t know.

Behind him, a timid version of you trailed along. You kept your head down as a shadow casted over your eyes to hide your sadness. You wanted to tell him more. You wanted to tell him you didn’t want it to be this way. That you still loved him. You didn’t want to be a villain. You wanted to tell him all the shit the league put you through and why you made certain decisions. And then it clicked. Why were you so stupid? Why were you gonna let this play out like some stupid chick flick? This was real life and you were gonna be straight with him. But that wouldn’t settle your nerves.

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you looked to the blonde in front of you. “...Katsuki? Can we talk.”

Bakugou didn’t look back. He kept his sight infront of him as he kept walking. “Unless it’s about us finding our way out of here, then no. We shouldn’t.”

“..I still have so much more to tell you.” You softly said as you played with your hands in nervousness.

“And you couldn’t tell me this back in the cave last night?” He said as he swatted away at vines and branches.

“....there was too much tension and too much going on then.” You tried to explain.

“Oh like that tension still isn’t around. And as if there isn’t already enough going on.” He countered.

“Katsuki please!” You pleaded but he was quick to shut you down again.

“Enough Y/N! There’s too much shit happening for our relationship drama! If you could even call it that anymore! I don’t even know what we are anymore!” His voice grew shaky as he continued. “I know last night you said there was no ‘us’ anymore..but I can’t help but still feel something between us. I wanna talk, but I just can’t right now! I just want us to get back safely and still alive!”

Silence once again grew at his words and you shook a bit. You couldn’t let the conversation go this way. After some time, you gathered your courage to speak but as you took a step, you realized you were too close to a ledge and fell off of it.

“Katsuki!” You screamed as you fell and Bakugou was quick to turn around. He saw you fall off the cliff and ran to you to try and grab your wrist but was too slow and missed you.

“Y/N!” He screamed as he watched you fall. It was a long drop and Bakugou tried to give you an idea. “Use your fire to make yourself fly!”

“I can’t! The trees are too close, I’ll start a forest fire!” You tried to use your air bending to slow down the fall but to no avail. The wind pressure going against you was too strong. Bakugou didn’t hesitate to dive in to save you. He jumped off the cliff and used his quirk away from the trees to fall faster to reach you. Once he did, he grabbed a hold of your body and used his quick to blast himself to the trees. The branches you both hit slowed down the impact and you both finally landed with a thud to the ground. Bakugou layed atop of you as you both held heavy breaths, adrenaline still rushing through you both.

You both remained pressed against one another as you took deep breaths. His arms wrapped around you with a hand holding your head off the ground. His head was tucked into the crook of your neck as your arms stayed curled against your chest. A minute had passed and you both caught your breaths but made no moved to get out of the position you were both in. The warmth of each other was so familiar and comforting in a tough time like this and Bakugou couldn’t even see himself pulling away any time soon. You hesitated but eventually found it in you to wrap your arms around his neck and hold him closer. You allowed silent tears to fall as Bakugou stilled at your returning touch.

“....I love you Katsuki. I still have so much more to explain and tell. I need you to understand why I did what I did. I need you to listen. .....Please.”

Bakugou thought for a moment. His head remained in its place as he took in all of you. Your touch, you warmth, you scent. He finally pulled away but not before placing a soft kiss to your cheek as he pulled away and sat on the ground infront of you. You rose up from your position and sat up, mirroring him as you stared at him, waiting for further instruction.

“....Talk.”

You chewed your bottom lip in hesitation before speaking again.

“I told you I didn’t want to come to UA. I told you I only came to prove myself to the league. And that’s because....they..hurt me.” You finally admitted. Bakugou’s eyes went wide as he looked at you. He watched you raise your arm to show a few hidden scars they’ve left behind. He’s seen them before but you’ve always passed them off as battle wounds but now he was gonna get the true stories. You explained each scar and ended it with raising your shirt and showing him the huge scar that went from your waist to your belly button. You fixed your clothing before continuing.

“I became their personal punching bag. They took me for a joke but yet they always used me on important jobs. They never took me seriously and I thought that if I infiltrated UA and actually did something, I would prove myself to them. Show them that I was more than just a doll to play around with. I guess I did meet my goal...but it wasn’t worth everything I lost. I didn’t meant to hurt you Katsuki...or anybody. I was raised to hate heroes. I was raised to think that heroes were in the wrong. I know me telling you this probably doesn’t change anything but I just had to let you know the whole thing. I just had to be sure that you know that I still love you. So much. And that everything I felt for you was true.”

Silence returned once more as you both just looked towards the ground. Bakugou had listened to every word you said.

‘She didn’t mean any of it. She loves UA. She loves us. She loves me. And she regrets her wrongs. Her mindset was so...altered but she’s changed! We could still be.....together.’ He thought to himself. A smile began to grow on him but it fell once he realized something else.

He stood on his feet as he walked towards you. You looked up at him and saw how he extended his hand to you. You took it and yelped a little when he yanked you up to your feet. To your shock, he pulled you into his chest, wrapped an arm around your waist, and delivered a passionate kiss to your lips. It had you shocked at first but you quickly melted into the kiss.

You wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him in as his hold around your waist tightened and his free hand went to the back of your neck to press you into him. The kiss grew hungry as Bakugou nipped at your bottom lip and you gasped, allowing his tongue to taste you. You would say your tongues fought for dominance but you succumbed to his heat. He walked forward and pressed you up against a tree. Against the tree, his hands traveled around your body until they squeezed at your chest. You moaned into the kiss as his hands left to fall onto the curve of your ass. He separated from you for a second to speak.

“Jump.” Was all that he said before pressing his lips to yours once more. His tongue slid his way in as you jumped and he caught you, allowing his hands to palm at your bottom. Your hands tugged at his hair causing him to groan into your mouth as his other hand wrapped itself around your throat. He slightly squeezed at it, and the feeling had you grinding your center to his. You both moaned at the friction and Bakugou began to grind his hips up into you. Your tongues openly rolled onto each other as you shamelessly dry humped one another.

Bakugou placed you down on your feet and allowed his hands to slip into the pants of your hero costume. His hand went pass your underwear as a single digit swiped at your clit. You gasped as you spoke with hesitation.

“Katsuki..?” You said softly as Bakugou’s face was still close to your own. He pecked kisses all around your face as you said his name but he quickly replied.

“Let me...please,” you nodded in approval and Bakugou began to kiss at your neck. You tilted your head to give him more access as his finger still caressed your center. He used two pads to rub at your clit causing you to openly moan and grind your hips onto his hand. His other hand squeezed at your ass to hold you still as he entered those two fingers into you. He pumped his fingers into you as you moaned in pleasure.

“Y-yesss! Ahhh....” you cried out. Bakugou took it upon himself to add a third finger to completely stretch you and fastened his movements. He began curling his fingers, causing you to scream. “F-Fuck!”

You arched your back as Katsuki pressed his body into you. You began to feel a coil tighten in your stomach as your legs slightly shook. Bakugou could feel you tighten around his fingers and pullled out at the last second before you could cum.

“Katsu-“ Bakugou interrupted your whine with a kiss. He tongued you down as he dropped your hero pants and panties to the ground you were going to step out of them when Bakugou wrapped his arms under your legs and carried you above him. He placed your legs on his shoulders as you leaned against the tree. He licked his lips before using his tongue to lick a stripe at your glistening cunt. He growled at the sweet taste and couldn’t hold himself back as he viciously attacked your center. You moaned from atop of him as your hands found place in his blonde hair. You grabbed at his hair and pulled him in closer. He never faltered as his tongue expertly pleasured you. He sucked at your cunt as the wet sounds from it and the melodious moans you released forced his hard on to grow.

The tent in his pants became achingly painful as he grew desperate for release. Bakugou clenched his thighs in horny frustration as your own shook around his head.

“S-Suki!...M’ cumming!” You released the white honey all over Katsuki’s face as he continued to devour you. He swallowed every drop of you and used his hand to swipe at his face and swallow the rest. He kissed up your belly as he lowered you to the ground again. Once your feet hit the ground his lips met yours as he allowed you to taste yourself. Your eyes grew dazed but your hands were wide awake as they went to his pants. He never separated from your lips as he assisted you in removing his own bottoms. He member was released and you separated from Katsuki in time to watch how his length slapped against his torso. Your faces were still very close as you both looked down. Heavy and hot breaths leaving your mouths as a heat grew on both of your faces.

Bakugou began giving your face soft kisses all over as you grabbed his member in your own hands. Bakugou clearly jumped the slightest bit at your hand as it began to slowly pump his cock. He began thrusting his hips as he slightly moaned while continuing to pepper your face in kisses. He groaned when you squeezed at his shaft and he had to stop his mini pecks for a second.

“Please....” he quietly said, asking for permission. His kisses picked back up and when you nodded your head, Bakugou pressed you harder against the tree. He held one of your legs as his other hand guided his cock to your entrance. He glided it up and down your slit before slowly sinking in. The more he pressed in, the louder you both got until he completely bottomed out into you. At the feeling of being so full and deep you both released sobs of ecstasy. Both of your legs wrapped around his waist as he held you from your ass. He allowed you to adjust to his length and waited for the okay.

“Please Katsuki..please move,” you whined with a needy tone. Bakugou bit his lip and began thrusting into you at a pretty fast pace. You moaned at the way his cock glided along your walls and Bakugou mimicked the sounds you made. He gripped his hands into your ass, for sure leaving bruises.

“S-Shit baby...god, you’re so fucking tight..” he moaned into your neck. His heavy breaths grew against your neck as you scratched at his covered back.

“More..! Faster Suki!” You begged. Bakugou was happy to listen as he quickened his pace. The sound of skin slapping filled the forest and the sloppy sounds invaded your ears, causing you to clench around his shaft. Due to your tight hold, Bakugou groaned and couldn’t stop himself from going faster. He threw his head back as he moaned. He went harder, faster, and deeper as your cried out.

Bakugou looked to you and saw your fucked out face. The sight turned him on even more and he was quick to press his lips to yours. You were both moaning into the kiss as Bakugou never stopped his insatiable thrusts. Oxygen became necessary and so you both separated as Bakugou pressed his forehead to yours.

“I fucking love you..oh f-uck, understand p-princess?” His thrusts grew sloppy as a indication to show he was close to his end. “I’m not gonna s-stop loving you no matter what you f-fucking do.”

You nodded with tears in your eyes as Bakugou began to hit a sensitive spot. “R-right there Katsuki! Y-yes! Fuck me like that!”

Bakugou angled his thrusts into your sopping cunt and hit your special area. You began to moan uncontrollably as his dick was focused all on pleasing you.

Due to your head being fuzzied because of his thrusts, you didn’t even notice how his hand was active with his quirk. A heated spank reached your ass and you yelped at the sensation.

“This ass is mine,” spank, “this pussy is mine,” spank, “these lips,” spank, “those eyes,” spank, “this body,” spank, “all mine.” Spank. “You. Are. Mine.” He accentuated the last sentence with a sharp thrust to each word.

Soon enough, you felt the coil in your stomach return. Your pussy clenched around Bakugou as his thrust grew erratic.

“Fuck- you gonna cum Princess? Gonna cum for me?” You moaned a breathy, high pitched ‘yes,’ in return. His hand went right to your clit and ferociously rubbed at it. You screamed and threw your head. “Yeah..yeah just like that princess. Cum on this cock, show me who you belong to..”

At his words, you reached your climax. His hand continued to play with your center as you squirted all over his hero suit.

“Oh my god Katsuki! Fuckkk!” You cried out. Bakugou laughed at your release and the amount. He adored the way it covered his upper body and enjoyed how some reached his chin. He happily used his tongue to clean his face and smirked as he stared into your E/C eyes.

“Such a good girl...Mm fuck!” Bakugou gave his final few thrusts before he released his cum deep inside of you. The warmth filled your body and Bakugou slowly grinded into you to ride out his orgasm. He kissed you once more as you both enjoyed the feeling of him being so deep as he filled you up. The kiss was all tongue and teeth as you pressed your lips together. You both eventually pulled away with a string of saliva still connecting the both of you. You both huffed as Bakugou came in closer to you. You rested your head against his shoulder as he just remained inside of you. He held you close and kissed the crown of your head before pulling out.

He fixed his clothing and put everything back on the both of you. Once you were both fully dressed, he was quick to pull you in for a hug and you quickly returned it as he held you tight and pressed you against the tree. You both remained there in silence just embracing each other.

“.....Katsuki...Umm...what was-“

“We can’t be together...not right now at least.” He said while still holding you. When he said that, his hold just grew tighter but you pushed his chest back the slightest bit to get a look at him.

“What?” You say aloud in a breathy voice.

“There’s too much going on right now. If things were different, I’d be going through the tough time with you by my side....but we can’t be together right now. I know my feelings and you know yours..but your life still has a lot of unraveling to do dumbass. You gotta figure out what side you’re on before we can happen again. I love you Y/N. I know I do. But if you choose to be Titania...then I don’t know if we can still be together...no matter how much I love you. Do you understand?” He asked while holding the side of your cheek. You opened your mouth to say something but shut it, opting to just nod your head in understanding. However, you still had a question.

“So..what was all of this then?” You asked, referring to the heated moment you both had just shared.

“..Let’s just say we’re on a break right now. At least until you figure out who you are. Since we’re on a break, I’m marking my territory. I’m still yours. You’re still mine. Please believe I won’t be talking to anyone else or having eyes for anyone other than you...because you’re mine and I’m yours. Got that princess?” He said with a smirk.

“Got it,” you said with a small smile. Bakugou pulled you in for another hug after he kissed your forehead. You both held each other for a long time. You completely forgot you were supposed to be finding your way home. Luckily, a hawk cry was heard from afar. You both pulled away from each other while still holding onto one another as you guys looked towards the sky. There, you saw Rumor flying down to the both of you.

“It-it’s Rumor!” You said excitedly. “He found us!”

You both watched as Rumor dove to the ground and transformed into his wolf-dog form once he got close enough to the ground. You broke away from Bakugou and jogged to your animal companion. Rumor ran to you and stood on his hind legs as he jumped at you.

“You found us buddy!” You said while petting his thick coat surround his neck and chest area. Rumor whined in happiness at your reunion and Bakugou was quick to join.

“Hey,” he greeted the creature. Rumor separated from you and ran to jump on Bakugou. The blonde held his arms open but didn’t expect to be tackled to the ground. Rumor licked Katsuki’s face as Katsuki groaned in “disgust.” He pushed Rumor’s face away as you kneeled beside the two, petting Rumor. Bakugou sat up from under Rumor as he continued to pet his neck area as well.

You were rubbing at his head when you placed your forehead to your best friend’s. “That’s my good boy.”

—

You and Bakugou were now flying atop of Rumor in his flying bison form. You both sat near his horns and held onto his fur for safety. The wind was blowing through your hair and you looked around to notice the setting. The sky was blue and the sun was up. It was still midday, meaning things at UA were still pretty active. The second you and Katsuki would show up, you’d be swarmed with questions on the scene. It would give Katsuki the perfect opportunity to tell the truth.

You were so lost in thought, you didn’t even realize the said blonde was looking right at you. Admiring you for as long as he could. He knew this wasn’t the end for you both, unless you chose the dark path, but he couldn’t help but soak up all of you. You’d be around, but you’d no longer have the title of his girlfriend. He turned his head as he faced forward once more, deciding to break the silence.

“Umm...nice weather?”

You laughed a little at his awkward state. “Katsuki. Just because we’re not together anymore doesn’t mean things have to be weird. We can still talk to each other like normal.” Katsuki clearly began to relax as he placed his hands behind him and leaned back with the wind blowing in his face. A slight smile adorned his lips as he looked at you and nodded. “Besides..we’re getting close to the school, so I have to ask...are you....are you going to tell them..about...me?”

His breath got caught in his throat as his eyes bulged a bit. He stopped looking at you as he faced his hands that now sat in his legs. He visually tensed up once more and it took more than a moment before he replied.

“I....I don’t know.” You looked at him with a sad and worried look but he never returned your gaze. He took a deep breath before going on. “...I’m supposed to be a future hero Y/N..I’m supposed to do what’s right..and that would be turning you in. I don’t know if I’d be able to do that though. I love you so much...but..you’re not exactly..on the heroes side at the moment.” He said with a huff.

Silence grew and neither you or Bakugou chose to break it. You flew through the skies in a quiet pause. Nothing was going on except for Rumor bringing you back home. Your voice, your mind...they all just stopped. It wasn’t until the sight of UA came into view and a voice began to speak in your head.

‘I guess we’re about to see how this story unfolds..’

[writing-by-candlelight]

Hargreeves Mansion Layout: Second Floor

Thank you for coming back for part 2! If you haven’t seen part 1 (the ground floor) you can find it here. And Part 3, the third floor, here!!!

The second floor is slightly more complex than the first floor and it has a lot more rooms. 

If you haven’t seen my first post; yellow symbolizes doors or double doors, green are archways, the neon pink is the staircase coming up from the floor beneath (same goes for the light pink - its the main staircase coming up from the ground floor.), the blue is the long staircase from the stair race scene that goes through the entire house from the basement to the third floor. The orange and black will be explained later.

So overall the second floor has the most rooms out of all the floors and the most colors so here we go!

So for the ‘home’ section of the house lets start on the far right. 

The empty square there is the balcony area above the living room. Its thicker on the bottom since that’s where the bar is and the bar is completely covered. There also seems to be a small sitting area above it.

I’ve realized now in hindsight that the other end of the walkway ends at the wall and does not have the same sort of walkway across the top. I may correct my drawing in the future.

Speaking of the top section, this is where I’ve put Hargreeves personal rooms. I’ve placed the surveillance room here - the room where Hargreeves watches the children’s brainwaves and where Allison watches the tape of Hargreeves death. I’ve also placed it at the beginning of the hall. We only know there’s a hall since Diego walks down one on the way to Hargreeves’ Bedroom.

I placed Hargreeves’ Study right next to it. I know its not L-shaped as I’ve drawn it but I didn’t want to make the surveillance room super big so I’m just going to run with it. We see a living room and another room through a second door in the study so I assumed that this was another way into his bedroom.

The dotted line through the main walkway is just how I separated the house into sections so it may be ignored.

Now the central section is simpler.

On the bottom we have the Academy oil paintings. The small tragic things taking place from their debut until there was only Luther, Everyone leaving or dying or disappearing.

A bit further, slightly around the corner, is Grace’s charging station with its portraits. I put a dotted line around it because there are no walls but I wanted to show where it was.

Ignoring the courtyard we now get to the most complicated part.

The Bedrooms.

So Luther and Allison are side by side with their doors angled like we see in the dance scene and a lot of other scenes as well.

Then to the side is the bathroom which we see in the show has its own small hallway lined with attack posters like the rest of the hall (horrifying, I know).

Now to the interesting part. Klaus and Vanya’s rooms. 

In the flashback scene we see both of their rooms. They are next to each other and both about the size of a closet with Klaus’ being slightly bigger.

But in the scene where they are older and Vanya is destroying the mansion room by room, you can see that Klaus now has a bigger room and that the sort-of-brick wall that we only ever see in Vanya’s room is a part of it. 

So at some point the wall was knocked down and both rooms were given to Klaus. It even seems to have both doors, as in one scene Five enters through one and leaves through the other. This results in this chaotic mess of the room:

See? Both doors!

Moving on.

Any black sections on my ‘map’ are just thick walls or areas filled up with dirt or cement (though that last bit is more likely for the basement.)

The rest of the layout is sort of only based in canon since I had to change things around for them to fit (this is what happens when you film in multiple locations and not one house)

Now Diego’s room is the one at the end of the hall as we see in the flashback of Grace walking along it. Now I know in this scene we also see a hallway veering off to the left but it doesn’t make sense with the layout of the house, since that’s where the house ends, so I’ve erased it.

Diego’s room is the smallest of the rooms (once Vanya’s wall is removed) and it doesn’t change much at all so I have little to say about it. But its canonical location is interesting.  Originally Diego’s room is diagonal to the third floor staircase (which I’ve striped orange) and has a slight angle to the door. Thing is, for the bathroom to have its hallway and for said hallway to be within the constraints of physics, I had to switch the rooms around a bit.

From the hallway scene we know the bathroom is next to Allison’s room and Klaus’ room is next to Luther’s. But in order to fit the bathroom hallway I had to flip them so I could cut the bathroom into the walkway. That’s why there’s a dotted line through the bathroom since the walkway wall would be there. 

The creators also just...forgot??? About the staircase coming up through the floor from the ground floor? so I put the pink stairs right next to the bathroom.

This meant though that I had to put Diego’s room next to Klaus though.

I’ve added a new room for Vanya since she needed one and we are never shown were it is. I’ve put it at the end of the hall, slightly closed off from her siblings since that seems to be where Reginald would have put it.

This is from the hallway flashback just before Reginald comes in frame from that side hallway that doesn’t make sense. The open door we see is Diego’s original (nonsensical) room, which is the room I’ve given Vanya. And the stairs there are from the orange staircase that goes up to the third story. That dark doorway you see is (now) Diego’s room.

Now imagine that the hall just ends with Vanya’s door and that the stairs are folded halfway down to face Vanya’s door.

That’s how I finally got everything to make sense. It took me hours!!! Now we can finally move on to the training section of the second floor.

The second floor is the main training floor. This floor houses the training and exercise room on the far right. This room is mainly for overall training. I’ve headcanoned that it has tan oval running track, weights, workout equipment, punching bags, a climbing wall, gymnastics equipment, and an obstacle course in the center.

The sparring and weapons room is exactly what it sounds like. I’ve put it here for a separate space without all the equipment, because there is no way Hargreeves didn’t pit his children against each other. I headcanon it as having a boxing ring style space at the top and empty weapons space at the bottom with targets secured to the wall (the targets can move with a remote). This space is separated from left to right 3/4 of the way by a large metal weapons case with almost every weapon imaginable. There are dozens of types of guns, swords, war hammers, battle axes, bow and arrows, spears, knives, flamethrowers, scythes, clubs, maces, batons, both dual and singular sticks & staffs, num-chuks, shuriken, and even ‘non traditional weapons’ like ropes and chains.

We know from the scene where Five reappears in Ep 1 that they were taught how to use anything as a weapon. I assume this was either tested in the kitchen itself, or he set up a replica of a household room here.

(This is really really sad, look at it!)

We can see the following:

Egg Beaters - Hair Pull

Stock Pot - Explosive Device

Toaster - Use Cord For Strangulation

Coffee Pot - Throw Coffee In Face

Blender - Hand Mangler

Then I added a row of personal training rooms for their individual powers. Each room has an observation room - with a two way mirror and its own entrance - beneath it. I made it like a prison interrogation room on purpose because Hargreeves goes for functionality and trauma over anything else, and he would not like to be in the same room as some of their powers.

As you can see, the seventh room, which had been Vanya’s, has had its wall knocked down (hence the dotted line) and observation door boarded up. Hargreeves changed it all and made himself a small office instead. This was because it was no longer in use and because he wouldn’t want anyone to suspect anything.

And that’s it for this second installment in the mansion layout!!! Thank you so much for reading, id love to hear any thoughts!!!! Stay tuned for parts 3 & 4.

[sirenprincess15]

Please Don't Leave Me Chapter 1

Title: Please Don’t Leave Me

Author: SirenPrincess

Description: What if Aleksander hadn’t answered the door when Ivan interrupted the war room kissing? What if Aleksander and Alina had a bit more time to get to know each other before Baghra told her his true identity? Alina is the only one who can comfort Aleksander through his nightmares. Will she leave once she knows who he is?

This story is based on the show version and features a soft on the inside, hard on the outside Aleksander with an emphasis on emotional hurt/comfort and angst. If you are looking for lots of hurt!Aleksander thoughts, then this story is for you. Mal exists but pretty much solely to cause Aleksander some angst. Don’t worry. It will be a Darklina ending.

Chapter 1 is a missing scene at the end of Ep 4 (a bit of a prequel to the real story but I just NEEDED this scene to set them up), and Chapter 2 takes place alongside Ep 5 and then diverges from canon there. I have 14 chapters (49 pages) written so far that I am in the process of editing, and I will be writing a lot more.

Pairings: Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov, bits of Ivan/Fedyor

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Grisha are oppressed in this universe, and I don’t shy away from showing the horrors of that. There may eventually be mentions of canon-typical torture (Fjerdan pyres), death of family members, and cruelty to Grisha children. It’s not the focus, but that backdrop is definitely there and comes up as characters discuss their past.

Chapter 1

It was already several hours past a reasonable time to be asleep, but Aleksander sat at his desk pouring over books on the Stag and amplifiers. He had read them all before; he even had some memorized, but he kept hoping that he would glean some hint he had missed before or understand a detail in a new light after recently reading something else. It was likely a futile effort, but he kept trying.

The night before, Alina had stumbled into his war room. He had been distraught over the likely loss of Nina. The rumors of West Ravkans helping the Druskelle capture her, of them turning on Grisha as their kin had before … they were enough to pull him back into the nightmares of the past. But then she had just been there, standing in his doorway. As embarrassed as he was that she had seen him lose control of his power and seen his eyes fill with tears, having her there was exactly what he’d needed. She had reminded him that he wasn’t alone anymore, that he didn’t have to fight to save Grisha with his power alone anymore. He had hers now. The strength of her light, her warmth when she grabbed his wrist was amazing. It had been enough to banish his shadows away. She was getting more powerful as she adjusted to using what she had always hidden. Together they were strong, but it still wasn’t enough. But if they found the Stag and he worked with her, together they would be powerful enough to protect Grisha. Not to mention what an amplifier that strong would do to her lifeline.

A soft knock at his door surprised him. He’d sent Ivan to bed hours ago. Perhaps an update on Nina? “Come,” he called.

“Alina,” he couldn’t help the smile that came over his face at seeing her standing in his doorway. “Come in.”

She looked more comfortable tonight entering his rooms. He liked that she seemed more at ease with him and his proximity. Gone were the days of her backing away in fear when he moved towards her. Tonight, though, she seemed different than even the night before, more confident somehow. Perhaps it was just that Genya had retouched her undereyes to get rid of the tiredness there, but that wouldn’t account for her more relaxed body language.

“Still having trouble sleeping?” he asked with concern. “I can get you some kvas,” he offered, rising to go get her some.

“No, thank you. I … I’m feeling much more relaxed tonight, actually.”

So he wasn’t imagining things. “To what do I owe this pleasure, then? Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad you’re here. But, two visits in two nights, careful, I might come to like this,” he teased.

She matched his smile but blushed a little. It looked good on her. “It sounds silly when I put words to it.”

“Tell me,” he commanded.

“I just wanted to check on you,” she admitted. “I talked to Genya, and she said she’d heard rumors that you often have trouble sleeping, weight of the world on your shoulders and all that. I hope you don’t mind that she shared that. She was just trying to put my mind at ease. But, last night you just seemed … Well, I worried you might need a little light tonight.” She glanced nervously over at him for his reaction.

All he could do was laugh. “You’re checking up on me?” It was unbelievable, unexpected, and adorable.

“Are you laughing at me?” she demanded.

He shook his head. “I’m laughing at me. Here I’m worried if I intimidate you, and you think I need tucked in for the night.”

“What? Is the great General Kirigan too important to have someone care how he’s feeling?”

“No,” he whispered, amazed at how she had this way of cutting right through to him. “Not at all. Quite the opposite.” It was just that no one ever cared to even notice, unless you counted when the others feared they would anger him.

“Please, join me,” he offered. He pulled a chair for her next to his at the desk.

She took it and glanced at the desk full of books. “You’re interested in the Stag, too!” she said with surprise.

“You know the lore of the Stag?” Of course he’d seen her sketches and read her letters, but he wasn’t sure how much she actually knew about the object of her dreams.

“Must you always be shocked when I know history? I am educated, you know. Perhaps not as a Grisha, but I am well-read.”

“Perhaps you’d like to help me, then,” he offered and gestured at the pile of books. “I’ve read them until the words swirl in my head, but maybe you have a different perspective. You might notice something different.”

Her eyes scanned the books and one of them caught her eyes. “This one,” she said, pulling a book of text written entirely in Old Ravkan.

He remembered Genya mentioning in one of her debriefs that Alina spoke Old Ravkan. It was a useful skill for the court, but their accents grated his nerves. Alina’s voice, though? He smiled at the thought of speaking Old Ravkan with her. “So, read it to me?”

He closed his eyes as he listened to her beautiful voice read to him in his native language. “This is different from my dreams,” she murmured as her fingers brushed a line.

“You dream of the Stag?” He hoped she would open up and tell him more.

She nodded. “I know it’s silly. Mal would tell me it’s just a fairytale, but …” she trailed off.

“It’s a sign, Alina,” he said with confidence. He reached out and took her hand. “I believe the Stag is real, and I believe it’s meant for you. People might think me a fool, too, but I can feel it. It’s meant for you. Your dreams just prove it. I want to find it for you, to amplify your powers. I know you’re scared to face the Fold, but with me and the Stag, you will be powerful enough. For the first time, Alina, I have hope.”

She was still frightened, unsure if she would be enough; he could see it in her eyes, but it was less so than before. “I did much better calling the light on my own today,” she shared.

“You did? Show me.”

She looked a little nervous, but there was more sureness in her as she stood and called a large ball of the light. “I know it’s not a lot yet, but I’m getting stronger.”

“I can tell. You’re doing great. Do you mind if I ask what changed? You do seem different tonight.”

She took a deep breath. “I think I just had to accept who I am, to stop hiding her. I’ve spent my entire life hiding. I had to accept I am Grisha, and I have a place in all this.”

He wanted to say ‘by my side’ but he worried it would be too much for her. He had probably said too much thanks to the kvas the night before, not to mention nearly kissing her. And, yet, look at how she had responded. Strong. Confident. It suited her. “Together we will have the strength to make sure Grisha never have to hide again.” He looked her in the eye. “I will not let us fail. Now, tell me about your dreams.”

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S5 Ep 19: Yugi and the Only Neck Accessory He Didn’t Really Want to Wear

Been busy! Hopefully stuff will open up soon as I’m taking a hiatus on a different quarantine project and will be finishing painting the entire roof of my car this week? One can hope. Sanding the rust off the whole top of a car takes a long time it turns out?

Also, fun Yugioh fact, I recently painted a book cover for an author who is older so she’s never seen the show, and she looked at my tumblr, saw my Duke Devlin fanart and was like “That’s him. That’s my main character. OMG. You captured him perfectly!” and I was like “Ma’am that is Duke Devlin, hence the single dice earring on his lobes there, but we can work with this.” and now a spiritual Duke Devlin is on the cover of a Wuxia-style fantasy trilogy on the Vella. Had to give him a top knot and delete the eyeliner for Wuxia reasons but uh, that’s just Duke.

So long story short, fanart can get you work, don’t even worry about posting that stuff online because most people don’t even know it’s fanart anyway and older ladies freakin love it.

Back in Yugioh, the team was doing their best to navigate a map through the woods and they do about as well as they normally do.

And inside Tristan lifted up the floorboards and was like “I found the only way out, this is it, this is the only way.”

And they ended up in something that has a color scheme I would actually associate with a jungle. Finally. We have finally left California (in order to go to another Hell.)

Youknow, when we went to California, we visited Hell, and when we went to India, we also took a stop at the nearest death destination. There’s just so much death on this show and sometimes I forget because there’s been a ghost in our party for so freakin long it’s been normalized.

(read more death imagery under the cut)

Joey freaks out at a flock of crows and reveals in this episode something I never realized about him before.

Like I’m not always the perfect observer as I’m sure you’ve noticed, but I love that this is canon for probably only this episode, but I will never forget it for the entirety of this series.

You go on hating birds, Joey.

Bro was like “Maybe it’s a deep cut about Mai Valentine because she’s a harpy lady” but eh...pretty sure we spent like an entire season of Joey telling us that Mai was a good experience? Would be incredibly funny if immediately after all of S4, Joey was like “You know what? Screw Mai, guys.”

So my thoughts...it’s probably just a literal bird experience. Like I had a friend who hated deer because once she went to a petting zoo, got some pellets to feed the deer, but her finger was sticking up, so when the deer came over to nibble on some pellets her finger went up it’s nose by accident. She was so disgusted by this event that was entirely her fault, that she brought up how much she hated deer basically whenever we saw one.

So like...maybe Joey fed a bird wrong at a petting zoo. I can see him getting bit by a parrot because he was too Joey Wheeler.

But now that we’re in a graveyard neighborhood, Pharaoh decides to hop out because there’s a lot of ghosts here and he needs to practice socializing with his peers.

So that’s just a Yugioh monster doing the ostrich dance, right? Like this is a meme from like 2010 but on Yugioh in 2003(4?)

Good to see the Ostrich dance here in the land before Vine.

So they pull out their Pokemon to do some antics, Tea looked like she was about to do something useful, and Yami does a yump across time and space to get her as far away from playing (not)cards as quickly as possible and y’all...sure was a position these animators animated.

Holy crap.

And I was going off about that scene last season where they woke up in the same bed like...

...have these two been together this entire time? Like together together?

They’re like...way more comfortable than you’d figure they’d be considering Yugi nearly passes out every time he gets a hug. But Yami just like....How long has this been going on? As long as Joey’s fear of birds?

Like obviously this show would never cover what the hell Yugi may be thinking about this overreaching move here, because we’re gonna gloss right over that, and just run away up a flight of stairs. No one mentions this ever again. Which is mind blowing for an anime to do. I think in most anime I watch, the kids would be like “ahh ahhhh I bumped into a booooob!” like it does for I want to say every other episode of My Hero Academia. But in Yugioh, they saw that low hanging fruit and they were like “we expect a higher level of maturity out of our audience. Now here’s a fleet of ostrich dancing tree monsters with faces for crotches.”

They decided to sprint up this flight of stairs, and it enough of a slope to deter the monsters who are only unbalanced weird legs.

I want us to take a moment and admire this background painting. I can’t unsee the rocks that are all the same size, just piled on top of eachother. Did Alexander the Great just plop rocks here--or was the mountain made up of tons of similarly shaped boulders?

Like there’s a lot of nice bg’s in this arc, don’t get me wrong, but this one...I’m just trying to wrap my head around the logic of it.

At the top, they meet a pantheon, that is immediately blocked by this wall, because if this arc had a tagline, it’s “Yugi gets inconvenienced every 4 seconds.”

Bro was like “Clearly they would have pushed it over if Tea wasn’t slacking off” and like...she is actually. Look at her. Only used one hand? Slacker.

Joey was disappointed he couldn’t push over a massive wall, and the team decided not to analyze how much Joey Wheeler thinks of his own strength and instead fixate on these statues.

Usually in anthro characters they kinda look birdlike but act human. But what about an anthro that’s just a bird? Like human torso, but can turn his head 180 degrees? Yugioh made me ask this question.

And then Joey was like “wait, there may be a solution that isn’t just to use brute strength!”

Youknow it is a bummer that Kaiba couldn’t witness Joey own a dragon while he himself only has a robot jet dragon. Although, the jet is probably faster, stronger and overall...better than this baby dragon. It would have been great for Kaiba to witness Joey under-utilize this dragon and forget he has it for like huge swatches of the episode.

And then Grandpa pulled some body horror out of nowhere.

Wow.

I mean that is really gross.

I guess Grandpa can’t use Blue eyes, because Kaiba ripped it up, Grandpa can’t use Exodia because Weevil tossed it off a boat, and grandpa can’t use the card that’s just a building because...it’s a building.

So instead Grandpa has a bunch of meat and bones that look like something out of Doom. It’s probably from a more obscure Konami property, but I forget which.

I’ve seen Tristan hold back Joey in this hold, first time it’s been Tea.

So much shipping in this episode, it’s wild.

It’s also wild how low my standards are for what could possibly be shipping when it comes to Yugioh because of how freakin tepid all of these characters are, which as I’ve brought up before, I really don’t mind.

So Yugi decides that because Grandpa was folding his arms like one monster and it made a gem light up or something, to just do the video game thing and use the giant ass statues as clues.

Why was this arc not a video game? Like parts of it really feel like it was meant to be.

So Yugi falls down a hole, where the walls cave in like it’s that dumpster in Star Wars but like...it barely phases him.

Also...Yugi might be able to see in the dark. It’s never been brought up but like...the more I think about it...has Yugi ever struggled to see without the lights on?

After Joey disappoints everyone, he confronts death.

And Pharaoh and Yugi decide to solve the puzzle of “how do I get out of this trap dungeon room” which, honestly, is probably what they’re doing every time they hang out in the brain pyramid.

So they summon their mascot monster, and surprisingly the show decided its ability to fly cannot help them out here.

Kuriboh manages to become enough of a doormat to push Yami up to the stone and they end up in a set of weird cuts that ended in this?

Like seriously it was like flashes of light and then they were just...up here like this.

Hey like...

Alexander the Great, my man...

Were you planning to put that stone in the middle of a exhaust vent hoping someone would touch it? Because there’s no way anyone would rationally have done that. You would need to fly to do it. This is the world’s worst DM.

Like Yugioh pulls a lot of fantasy nonsense but this arc is a lot more like a “it’s a kid’s show, just go with it.” arc than most of them. It’s not a bad vibe, necessarily, it’s just not the vibe I’m used to.

So once I witnessed maybe the most boring conversation I’ve ever witnessed about corn (this was on a twitch stream, by the way, a guy was playing an interesting game, and then a guest came on and started talking about corn and plants for 2 hours) and they would not shut up about how all taxonomy is wrong because there are no such thing as trees and how all animals are labelled incorrectly, and then they started comparing it to like all sorts of mushrooms and phytoplankton as you would if you clearly got a little bit high before dumping your corn knowledge on a twitch stream.

Anyway, after that bizarre experience I suffered so I could learn how to play an obscure video game, I think I can safely say, that while I know everyone here thinks a bird can’t be a dog. If you’re a high biologist: a bird is absolutely a dog. Apparently you can just do that if you’re the most boring biologist alive and no one will argue with you because to do that would involve talking to you. We’ll just say a bird is a dog and no one can fight me or I will talk about the corn book that this guest on this twitch chat was thinking about renting from the library about the different types of corn mutations inherent in freakin Indiana. Therefore, Joey’s fear of birds and dogs is same.

So they use Dark Magician to save them from the statues, and Yugi busts into the pantheon again because they got to open this casket before a time limit that I kind of forgot about, tbh.

And inside the casket, is...this thing!

(enjoy this line on the bottom of the image I don’t feel like fixing it)

And you may say to yourself...it looks like it’s just floating in mid-air, that’s silly, and so I want to introduce you to the next panel where you can see that it is...quite literally...just floating in the air like a video game.

and it just slurps itself onto Yugi before he can be like “nonono.”

Wasn’t there some horror movie where you were stuck in some sort of body brace that slowly tortures you (was that Saw?) This has that vibes. Like man that looks uncomfortable to wear over a jacket and two belts and a collar that is another belt.

That and I...I gotta appreciate that Yugi popped his collar while wearing body armor and chunky necklace. What 00′s fashion appreciation right there.

Bit like...this isn’t breathable, right? Like Yugi’s gonna finally take this thing off and his jacket will just be completely soaked in sweat?

Anyway, that’s it for this post, next week we’ll see if Yugi can walk through a doorway in that thing.

Also, I can’t bring up the ostrich dance without sharing the vines of my generation

[shadow-assassin-blix]

A Picture is a Poem without Words

Chapter 13

A/N: Canon typical violence. Some spice at the beginning but nothing too detailed. I rewatched ep 2x06 and realized that Marta’s husband is named Diego. For the purpose of this fic, and to create less confusion, I have called him Antony. Dress is number 10 found here.  Gif from @scntacruz 

Pacho tags: @yungkvte @mcrmarvelloki

Everything tag: @mikeisthricedeceased

It had been 3 days since Blix had woken up. She had gone through her antibiotics and was now able to move a bit more freely.

The stitches were going to be removed today, and she couldn’t wait for it. The stitches were itching terribly.

When the doctor finally arrived, she was practically bouncing in her seat. It didn’t take him long to remove the stitches, with a small warning of ‘don’t do anything too strenuous.’

He left a moment later, and Blix spent a few minutes gently stretching. It was about 10am and Pacho had briefly left to go give his men some orders for the day. He came back in as Blix was about to stand up.

Pacho moved over to her, slowly. He stood before her, his hands cupping her face. He leaned down kissing her firmly and passionately.

She kissed him back with as much as enthusiasm. She started to lay back down onto the bed, her hands gripping his silk shirt tightly as she pulled him down. Pacho pressed his body against hers, and one hand moving down her body, while his other buried itself into her hair.

“I believe you mentioned something about spending the day between my legs?” Blix murmured against his lips.

“I did indeed. I plan on doing exactly that. Cleared my schedule and everything,” Pacho joked lightly as he moved down to press kisses to her neck, nipping here and there.

Blix giggled lightly at that, a moan escaping her mouth as he bit a particularly sensitive area.

He paid intense attention to that spot, as his hand slipped under her cotton shorts. His hand slid past her panties, his fingers running up and down her slit.

She moaned lightly at his teasing, her hips jerking up wanting more. They removed their clothes with some urgency, the both of them sliding under the covers.

The two of them spent most of the day either chasing their highs or simply lying next to one another, enjoying each other’s company.

The next day rolled around and the two of them finally untangled themselves from each other. They showered and dressed, before heading downstairs.

Gilberto & Miguel were downstairs waiting for them discussing next steps.

“Ah. Blix, lovely to see you moving about more freely. I hope you are feeling better?” Gilberto greeted her cheerfully.

“Yes, much better. What are our plans?” Blix asked them as they walked into the dining room to have breakfast.

The four of them sat down to eat and talk. As Blix made her plate, Diego appeared next to her, and after quickly kissing her head, he sat down next to her.  Blix smiled softly at him, telling him good morning.

Gilberto began to explain his thoughts to Pacho about next steps, as Blix checked her phone for missed calls. Upon seeing there was nothing there, she placed it on the table and listened to Gilberto.

“… Mrs. Moncada has reached out to Don Berna. I suspect she is attempting to make as many allies as possible to hurt Escobar. We will let her do whatever she pleases. Our priorities will be taking over his production lines and starve him of money,” Gilberto informed them.

“Where do we begin with that?” Blix asked him curiously.

“We’ve already begun. We are taking out his production sites, starting with the ones Mrs. Moncada informed us about to the ones Escobar doesn’t think we know about,” Miguel spoke up.

She nodded her head in understanding, glancing down at her phone when she saw it was going off. She answered it, standing up and strolling into the living room.

“Hey Javi, what’s up?” She greeted.

“We have a new colonel. Martinez. And the ambassador has insisted that DEA have an overseer. Messina. The ambassador is not too happy with any of the agencies currently. I would suspect he will be reaching out to you soon to bitch at you, just so you’re aware,” Javier warned her.

“Good to know.  What’s Martinez like?” She asked him.

“An ass. Extremely by the book. I have never felt more frustrated with Search Bloc. Hell, I’ve never felt more frustrated in general. I… hmm. I have a terrible idea that may bite me in the ass later but… if it means Escobar goes down,” Javier said in an exasperated tone.

“What do you have planned Javi? Please don’t do anything stupid,” Blix begged him softly.

She knew from experience that Javier would have half-assed plans that usually ended up with him being in all sorts of trouble.

“I’m going to reach out to some CIs and go from there. That’s all you need to know. I’m not going to risk your career by telling you too much,” Javier’s voice lowered as he spoke.

“Javi…” Her tone turned admonishing.

“Anyway, when you find yourself back over in Bogota let me know. We can go on that date,” Javier stated somewhat loudly.

“Do not use me as your cover,” Blix growled at him, hearing chatter in the background.

“Yeah, see ya soon sweetie,” He ignored what she said and hung up.

“That motherfu-” She groaned staring down at her phone.

Blix sighed heavily, as she pocketed her phone, and running a hand down her face in frustration.

She returned to the dining room, re-taking her seat. The brothers had continued to talk out their plans with Pacho and she half listened to them. Blix was far too distracted to fully pay attention.

Halfway through one of Gilberto’s explanations his phone rang, and he answered it excitedly.

“Good morning Marta, light of my life. What can I do for you?” Gilberto greeted.

He listened to her for a moment, before passing the phone to Blix.

“She apparently wants to speak to you,” He stated as he held it to her.

Blix took the phone, “Hello Marta. What’s up?”

“Hi. I need help. We moved up the wedding and I am freaking out over what to do. My mothers are driving me nuts and I cannot stand their opinions no more. Please help,” Marta sounded close to tears as she spoke.

“Okay. Tell me where you are and I’ll be there,” Blix said calmly as she stood up again.

“I’m at my father’s favorite home, thank you so much,” Marta vaguely explained, hanging up.

“Uhh. Okay. Gilberto? Which of your 10 mansions do you consider your favorite?” Blix asked him as she placed his phone on the table.

“Navegante will take you. I assume it has to do with her wedding plans?” Gilberto waited for her nod. “I assumed so. She has been panicking over the plans for the past week.”

“Vagueness runs in the family I see. ‘Kay. Just gonna go grab my bag I guess… as I’m led to an unspecified location. Not like that ever turns out terribly for anyone in a horror movie,” Blix mumbled as she made her way upstairs to grab her bag and some shoes.

Blix, after grabbing her things, stepped outside and got into the waiting vehicle that held Navegante and Maurice.

It took about an hour and a half for them to get there. Blix stared up at the house with an eyebrow raised as she took in the grand home.

“This man…is ridiculous…” Blix said quietly, shaking her head.

Blix strolled up to the front door, smiling at Marta who was waiting for her.

“Alright. What’s wrong?” Blix asked her as they stepped in.

“So, a great deal of it is taken care of, but so many small details need to be taken care of,” Marta began leading her to the backyard porch, to a table that was covered in books and samples.

The two of them tackled each item: place settings, decorations, dresses, accessories and the like. The entire process took about 4 hours to get everything decided and ordered.

“Now, what else do we need to do?” Blix questioned her as they finished up.

“Well. I was hoping… would you be willing to sing our first dance song?” Marta quietly requested.

“You want me to sing… for your wedding?” Blix clarified, staring at her surprised.

“Yeah.  I love the way you sing. Plus, I’m sure Pacho would love to hear you sing as well,” Marta teased lightly.

Blix shook her head at that, before replying, “I’ll sing one song. That’s it.”

Marta squealed happily and hugged her, yelling, “Thankyou!Thankyou!”

Later that week, while at Pacho’s place, the news reported the first murder committed by Los Pepes.

Blix quietly listened to the news report, glancing at the men around her who appeared unbothered by the grisly murder.

Blix slipped outside, as she called Javier. However, there was no answer, which said to her that he knew she’d be upset with what had happened and was avoiding her.

Over the next several weeks, Los Pepes became embolden and were murdering Escobar’s men left and right.

Gilberto drew the line when the latest macabre display took place at a Christmas light show, where small children saw the scene.

Gilberto attempted to reach out to Judy Moncada to talk to her and Don Berna about the murders. To tell them to tone them down.

Unfortunately, they no longer cared about the Cali Cartel; they were focused on exacting their bloody revenge on Escobar.

Blix spent most of that time helping Marta with wedding plans and getting the venue ready. The wedding was this weekend, and time was of the essence.

Marta insisted that everyone get their hair and nails done the morning of the wedding. Pacho, who was not expecting guests at 6am, stared at the bride to be with some confusion when she appeared in the doorway of his bedroom.

“Hello uncle! Can you please make sure Blix is up and downstairs in 15mins? We have a busy day today!” Marta said cheerfully.

Pacho raised an eyebrow at her, before glancing down at Blix who was buried in his blankets and pillows, Diego laying half on top of her.

“Was she aware of these plans beforehand?” Pacho inquired as he looked back at Marta.

Marta gave him a toothy smile, before disappearing.

“That’s a no,” Pacho answered to himself.

“My love? My beautiful shark? You have to wake up,” He gently spoke, kissing her shoulder.

“….why? wedding not until tonight?” Blix grumbled, shaking her head.

“I know but… Marta made plans apparently… and she’s downstairs waiting for you,” Pacho informed her, pulling the pillow she tried to hide under away from her.

Blix lifted her head up, eyes blearily staring at him.

“What do you think would happen if I said no?” Blix asked him, turning her gaze to the doorway.

“Marta would be upset, and cry which would then upset Gilberto and he would make you go through with it anyway using threats,” Pacho answered.

“… so my chances are good?” Blix questioned jokingly.

Pacho chuckled, “Get up. It won’t be that terrible. I’ll see you later on.”

Blix quietly crawled out from under Diego, who had flopped onto her back at some point during the night. Blix learned very quickly that Diego was the kind of person who very rarely slept in one spot all throughout the night and very much like to spread out and take as much of the bed possible.

Blix, who was crawling over Pacho to get out bed, mumbled, “This better not be terrible, or you are making this up to me.”

“I had already planned on it. I look forward to seeing you in the dress Marta picked for you. She says it’s quite… salacious,” Pacho teased her, kissing her on the cheek.

Blix simply rolled her eyes and changed out of her night clothes into some shorts and a tank top, with some flipflops. She wasn’t going to get overly dressed up for a day of hair and makeup. She stepped into the bathroom, brushing her hair and teeth. As she walked downstairs, she clipped on her shark necklace.

Marta smiled at her and said, “Good morning! We are going to have a wonderful morning and then tonight is going to be amazing!”

Blix smiled softly at her, still trying to wake up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

The next several hours were a whirlwind of hair, nails, and makeup. By the time, they were ready to put on the dresses, it was late in afternoon/almost evening and Blix was exhausted. They had arrived at the venue and were doing last minute preparations.

Blix had finally put on the dress that Marta insisted she wear, with red pumps to match. She stared at bejeweled bodice of it that had a nude material backing it to give it some modesty. The dress itself was made to fit her like a glove, so even without proper shoulder straps it was able to stay in place.

Her hair had been done up in a high bun, her makeup as bold as the dress.

“Marta, I thought all eyes were supposed to be on you? Not on me looking like I stepped out of a romance novel?,” Blix lightly joked.

“Ahh. The beauty of it is though… if all eyes are on you no one will pay attention if me and Antony slipped away for some alone time,” Marta whispered conspiratorially.

Blix chuckled at that, “I see. I’m the distraction.”

Marta nodded, causing the two of them to giggle some more. Marta turned and looked at herself in the mirror in her wedding gown, nervously running her hands over the material.

“What’s up?” Blix asked her, standing beside her.

“The wedding jitters everyone warned me about. I always thought I wouldn’t get them, because I love Antony so much. But I am feeling them now,” Marta responded, trying to take a deep breath.

“I’d say that’s pretty normal. This is a big step in your life. It’s not an easy one to take. No one would blame you if you decided to postpone. That boy worships the ground you walk on, and if you said you wanted to wait, he would do it. So, tell me. Do you want to wait, or do you want to go marry the man you love?” Blix posed the question to her, smile on her face.

Marta took a moment to calm herself before smiling and nodding at the mirror, “I don’t want to wait.”

“Alright then, I’m going to go take me seat. I’ll see you out there honey,” Blix stated as she stepped out into the hallway.

Gilberto stood nearby, waiting to walk her down the aisle.

“Hey, give her a minute. The wedding jitters have hit her. She may need some words of encouragement too,” Blix said to him, stopping in front of him.

“Ahh. I had a feeling they would hit her soon enough. I’ll go check on her,” Gilberto replied with a knowing smile. “Blix. If I may say so, you look beautiful. I get the feeling you are going to knock Pacho off his feet.”

Blix smiled, feeling her cheeks warm up as she made her way into the main hall. Her seat was next to Pacho near the front. She made her way down the aisle, spotting Pacho with Miguel and Antony.

Miguel was the first to notice her, and nudged Pacho on the arm, motioning to look her way. Pacho turned to look at her and stared at her in awe.

“Hi. We should probably take our seats, it should be starting soon,” Blix noted, as she got near them.

Pacho quietly led her to their seats, his eyes roving up and down her figure. He eventually leaned over, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“You look like a goddess in this dress. I cannot wait to see what it looks like on the floor as I worship you tonight,” Pacho whispered into her ear. “Who knows? I may not even wait till then.”

Blix cleared her throat softly, turning to meet his gaze. She gently gave him a kiss on the lips and whispered for him to behave.

He smirked at that, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, keeping her close to him.

The ceremony began 15 minutes later and lasted for about an hour. Pacho noticed during the ceremony, that Blix was not one who cried easily; many got teary eyed during the vows. He noted at one point that she had looked down at her own left hand, her gaze blank. He desperately wanted to know what was running through her mind, but knew he wasn’t going to get an answer anytime soon.

He reached over and held her hand in his, while the ceremony continued.

When it was over, they all headed to the reception to celebrate.

Miguel was the last family member to give a speech. Pacho looked around trying to find Blix, who had disappeared a few minutes after they had arrived.

“Good evening everyone,” Came her voice on the microphone. “For those of you who don’t know, my name is Blix. I am a friend of Marta’s.”

Everyone turned their attention to her, as she stood on the dance floor directly in front of the bridal party.

“A few weeks ago, Marta asked me a very important question. She asked me if I could sing the first song of the night. I agreed on the condition that I got to choose the song. She was a bit��� hesitant to say the least. In fact, I had to bargain with her… a trait I am most definitely positive she got from you Gilberto,” Blix joked.

Several people chuckled, as Gilberto stared at his daughter with pride, pressing a kiss to her head.

“Per her request, she got to choose what I am wearing, hence why I look I belong in a telenovela or a romance novel,” She gestured to her dress with a wave of her hand. “And I get to choose the song to start our evening.”

Blix looked back toward the band who gave her a thumbs up to say they were ready to go. Antony, who knew what the song was going to be, led Marta to the dancefloor. Blix took up a spot in front of the band, looking at the couple with a smile.

“This is going to be a cover version of an oldie,” She hinted, softly clearing her throat.

The music began, and everyone stared at her curiously trying to figure out the song before she started to sing. Antony and Marta began to sway softly to the music, Marta was tearing up slightly as she recognized the song. It was one of her favorite songs

As Blix sang, her gaze moving about the crowd. Her eyes eventually locked onto Pacho’s who was smiling softly at her. She sang a couple of lines, keeping her eyes on his, subtly singing to him.

She broke her gaze away once she got closer to the end, moving it back to Marta and Antony. When the song ended, the crowd clapped and cheered. Marta after hugging Antony, strolled over to Blix to throw her arms around her in a huge hug. Blix hugged her back.

Blix handed the microphone to one of the band members who took over and began to play the playlist that Marta gave them.

Blix after giving her congratulations to the happy couple, made her way over to Pacho. She collapsed not in the empty chair next to him, but onto his lap.

“I am exhausted,” She said with a small yawn.

“Don’t fall asleep just yet… we still have to get through at least another hour before we can slip away unnoticed,” Pacho informed her.

Blix quietly nodded, before the two of them got up to get food and mingle. The party was in full swing, and she was standing near the brothers listening to them as they told stories about Marta. Blix noticed out of the corner of her eye, that Marta and Antony had slipped outside.

She smirked, turning to look over at the wedding cake. Blix tilted her head as she looked at it. Something about it wasn’t right, she just couldn’t put her fingers on it. She shook her head, thinking she was being paranoid.

If only she had listened to the paranoia.

One moment she was talking to Gilberto, the next all she could hear was a sharp ringing. She was aware of something on her legs, pinning them down, and several screams and shouts. Blix opened her eyes trying to focus on something, anything. Her vision was blurry, all she could see was disfigured shapes and splashes of colors.

A voice was calling her name, growing louder as it moved closer. The weight on her legs disappeared as a face came into view. It took several blinks for her vision to clear, and she was able to see Pacho’s face staring down at her.

“I’m starting to think someone out there wants me dead,” Blix mumbled as Pacho helped her sit up.

Pacho chuckled weakly at that, whispering, “You’re okay.”

The two of them slowly stood up, looking over each other, inspecting the damage. Blix could see several bruises on his face, and blood coming out his ear. He grasped his left arm, that she assumed he had landed on.

Pacho, looking her over, could see some blood coming from her nose, with various bruises on her body. He noticed she was favoring her left leg, probably due to the dead body that had landed on her right.

The two of them looked around, as Miguel made his way over to them, holding his shoulder. The three of them found Gilberto, and after making sure Marta and his family was okay, sent everyone home or to the hospital. The 4 of them somehow made it to one of Gilberto’s home, each of them covered in soot with some sort of injury.

The four of them made it into his office where Gilberto collapsed into a chair and stared off into space. Pacho lit a cigarette and Miguel stood there with his arms crossed.

Blix had one of the guards grab a first aid kit so she can fix everyone’s injuries. She set the kit on the coffee table, before going over to Gilberto’s glasses and decanter of whiskey. Her hand trembled for a moment, and she shook it thinking that would steady it before grabbing the decanter and pouring everyone a drink.

Blix passed them out once they were all poured out, and Miguel nodded his head in appreciation. Gilberto took the drink, blinking slowly.

Pacho took the drink after taking a drag of his cigarette. Blix took her place next to Pacho, leaning against a chair.

“That man… has no decency,” Gilberto began, standing up. “To attack my family like this… my daughter on the night of her wedding. Only a madman would do that. A crazed animal, dangerous.”

A moment passed, as Gilberto began to shake with fury.

“I want him dead. Not next year. Right now. Kill all of them. I don’t just want you to kill his lawyers, accountants, and bankers… I want you to kill his secretaries, anyone who lifted a finger to help that man. I want to see them dead,” Gilberto’s once calm voice began to shout. “ANYONE WHO HAS EVER LICKED A POSTAGE STAMP AND PUT IT ON AN ENVELOPE IN HIS NAME, I WANT TO SEE THEM DEAD! AND THEN I WANT YOU TO FIND ANYONE WHO EVER SHOOK HIS HAND AND KILL THEM TOO!”

Miguel during his tirade, placed his hand on his shoulder, nodding his head quietly.

Pacho paced slightly, fury on his face as he took another drag of his cigarette.

“That son of a bitch. From this night, we’ll show no mercy,” Gilberto declared with a shaky breath.

Blix looked at the 3 of them, knowing there was nothing she could say in this moment that could help them. There was something she could do however as she quietly guided each of them to a chair. Grabbing the first aid kit, she began to tend to their injuries softly. All 3 tried to wave her off, but a firm look from her made them back down.

“Can’t rage war against Escobar, if you let your injuries go untreated,” Blix murmured to Gilberto as she looked over his wounds.

Gilberto sighed heavily and allowed her to tend to him, along with Miguel. Pacho didn’t complain, having learned his lesson from the last time he had been injured.

Once all 3 were patched up, Pacho turned the tables on her and insisted that she let him look over her injuries. She let him tend to her minor injuries with a small sigh.

A few minutes later, her and Pacho were stepping out of the office. Diego greeted them; his face full of concern as his gaze roamed over the both of them.

“We’re fine. Could’ve been worse to be honest,” Blix assured him as the 3 of them walked out to a car, to drive home.

After the both of them took a shower, and changed into cleaned clothes, Pacho went to bed, Diego trailing behind him. Blix sat in the living room, not ready to go to bed just yet.

It was late in the night, and Blix couldn’t sleep. She stared at the proposal that Gilberto had drawn up and given to her the day before to give to the ambassador. With a heavy sigh, she called him not caring that she will probably be waking him up.

“Ambassador… I need to talk to you… and the CIA. The Cali cartel want to make a deal,” Blix began.

The next morning, in the early hours, she had flown out to Medellin, proposal in hand. The trip to the embassy didn’t take long, but it sure felt like time was moving slowly.

Blix stepped into the ambassador’s office, her face blank as she took a seat next to Stechner. She was grateful to have thought about putting on makeup this morning to hide her bruises, to lessen questions.

“So. Cali wants to create a bargain, eh? Is that what you’ve been doing with your free time Agent Lage? Hanging around cartel members?” Stechner said in a mocking tone.

Blix ignored him, as she pulled out the documents that Gilberto and the other Gentlemen had signed, setting it on the ambassador’s desk.

“Listen. I am well aware that no one here is innocent when it pertains to the Cali. I would know, since Gilberto informed me that the both of you are on his payroll. This meeting was bound to happen soon enough, so cut the crap. Let’s get this show on the road,” Blix spoke calmly.

“So, Gilberto wants free reign for 6 months after the death or capture of Escobar, and all 4 are willing to turn themselves in?” Ambassador Crosby asked in clarification after spending some time reading it over.

“Yes. All four of them have agreed to turn themselves in 6 months after Escobar’s death, or capture, without interference from law enforcement. No interruptions to production lines or sales. They spend 6 months making themselves rich, and then they’ll gladly let us arrest them,” Blix explained further.

“What about your bestie? Pena? Don’t think he’ll be too happy to know you made this deal for them. What are you going to about that?” Stechner questioned looking at her.

“Currently? I don’t care. He’s not focused on Cali. When that time comes, I’ll tell him the same thing I am telling you. It’s one less cartel. Who cares how it’s done?” Blix nonchalant answer disguised her worry.

She knew one day she would have to face Javier about her decisions, but it was not going to be anytime soon. She would deal with it when the time came.

Stechner stared at her somewhat impressed, “Living in Cali definitely made you more cutthroat. If you ever think about switching agencies let me know.”

Blix rolled her eyes at that, and watched as the ambassador approved the proposal, making a phone call to the president of Colombia. A few minutes later and the signed document was being filed away, signed by all in the room.

Blix stood up preparing to leave, when the ambassador stopped her, “Agent Lage, the annual Christmas party is tonight. You should come.”

Blix nodded once, making her way out into the hallway. Stechner sauntered outside beside her, his hands in his pockets.

“So, tell me… How is Mr. Herrera? I’ve noticed you no longer have been living in that lovely little townhouse of yours. However, I guess it is hard to stay there after Escobar’s men destroyed your door,” Stechner commented as the two of them walked toward the elevator.

“I’m not dignifying that with an answer,” Blix replied, shaking her head.

The two of them stepped onto the elevator, Blix not sparing him a glance.

“Not sure what happened recently for you to come forward about this deal suddenly… however… I hope you are prepared for the potential fallout if anyone else finds out about your relationship with him,” Stechner warned her.

Blix continued to ignore him, walking forward once the elevator doors opened. Blix was well aware of the consequences; she currently did not care about them.

Blix checked in with her team.

“What’s happening guys?” Blix asked them as she stepped into the office.

Theo, Cynthia, and Robbie all looked up from their desks, before grabbing files, holding them out to her.

Blix took all of the files, with a short laugh. They filled her in on current assignments they were working to help DEA. Cynthia & Robbie traded off on who monitored the airports. Theo listened to chatter and translated phone calls. She took a seat, going through each file and approving them when she was satisfied with the work. The work took about 2 hours before she sent off the files to various other departments to be filed.

Once she got caught up on paperwork, she left the embassy. She was not in the mood to go to another party, so she hopped on a plane back to Cali.

Returning home, she smiled softly at Pacho who was on the phone giving out orders. He finished up his call as he spotted her walking toward him.

He leaned down, kissing her softly.

“So… I was thinking you and me could go out for dinner this evening?” Pacho suggested as he straightened up.

“I like the sound of that. What are our plans to deal with Medellin?” Blix inquired as the two of them strode over to his corvette.

“I’ll tell you later this evening,” Pacho answered her, driving her into the city.

While the two of them ate, Los Pepes with the new knowledge being fed to them from Cali, attacked the Medellin cartel hard. Pacho eventually informed her of what was going to go down, and she had a feeling that this war was going to get bloody on both sides.

[officialwittek]

pt. 4

*gif is not mine* 

word count: 2,101

Ever since my little conversation with the girls I haven’t been able to really be myself around Jeff. Now I notice the side glances, the lingering touches on my thigh, the way his breath hitches when I get pushed a little too close to him at parties, and everything else I haven’t noticed before. My friends were adamant that he liked me back but I couldn’t see it. Slowly I distanced myself from them, for one my manager thought it would be a good idea to release some new music soon so I was extra busy and I can’t really be around my friends without feeling like my heart is going to explode. Of course they started noticing and not a day went by where I didn’t get texts from at least three of them asking where I was and why I stopped coming around. Even Jason and Josh dropped my apartment to make sure I was still alive.

Three weeks have gone by since my sleepover with Jeff. We still talk but not as much as before. Carly and Natalie were constantly calling and texting and I truly felt bad, but it would seem like such a bullshit excuse to say it’s because of my crush on Jeff.

“Sage, this is... this is real good work. I’m thinking we finish it up, and be set to release it in two weeks” James, my manager, said listening to to the final of three of the songs

“Thanks dad, I think today we’re recording the last song. I’ll email you our final version by the end of the day” I reply, he ruffles my hair and nods, leaving for another meeting while the producer and I talk about the last track

We record for about four hours, fine tuning every last detail. After the two of us finally felt good about it we sent the file to James who also gave the approval. We sent it in the the higher ups who also gave us the ok. All the promotional pictures were finished, we had an album cover chosen, now to put it all together and make this my first serious piece of art. After the long morning I decided to head straight to my apartment. I wasn’t particularly hungry anyways. I parked my car and took the elevator up to my apartment. ��

I noticed shushing and brushed it off, thinking it was just Carly and Erin messing around. I unlock the door and see all of my friends crammed into this fairly small apartment. No one had their cameras out and they all had their arms crossed I sighed and put my things down before shutting the door.

“Before you even say anything. No I’m not on drugs, I don’t hate anyone, and I actually have been working on my music. My first EP is coming out in a few weeks” I explain, their faces relax and Carly walks up to me

“Don’t you ever try to ghost us like that again. We hated it” She said, wrapping her slender arms around my shoulders and I nodded, our friends came around and we all had a sweet group hug

“Well a congratulations are in order. I think we should celebrate tonight” David says, laughing loudly

“Fine, I’m stealing a Red Bull from your fridge though” I say, we all go downstairs and I finally notice some of their cars parked there

We all head to David’s house and I grab a Red Bull. We all sit in the living room. Filming dumb bits and getting ready for tonight. David wanted to throw it at his house since he wanted to keep it relatively small. Natalie, Carly, and Erin went to stock up for the night, asking me about all my favorite things. It took about an hour and a half for them to come back. Everyone helped get things from Nat‘s car and set up. We were finally ready and decided to start drinking before everyone got here.

“May Ilya and Zane stay away from the hospital. Amen” I yell, all of them cheering in response as we take our shots

After a few rounds of shots I was already pretty tipsy. I sat down at the couch, answering a few congratulatory texts from others. I talked to a few of our friends here and there. Jeff was nowhere to be found. I frowned a bit, but who can blame him? After all, I’m the one who made the decision to not talk to him.

“Do you think we could get a sneak peak?” Jason asks, taking a set next to me but I shake my head

“I want to keep it a complete surprise. Plus I’ve been thinking about having a release party and showing everyone there” I said, Jason actually thought that was a much better idea than just playing it

We made small talk here and there, apparently Wyatt has been dying to see my new studio. I loved Jason’s kids like they were my own family, especially since Wyatt and I have such a love for music.

“I’d love to have Wyatt at the studio. He can even record some things if he wants to. I know how to produce as well” I said, Jason damn near cried at the suggestion and we set a date

“Someone looks a little sober” Zane yells from behind us, I laugh and allow him to take me to the kitchen where the others were taking shots or making their best interpretations of different cocktails

After sampling everyone’s horrible attempt at a blackberry mojito it’s safe to say I was one shot away from exiting the physical realm. Especially since Zane decided it was appropriate to just dump nearly an entire bottle of rum in the drink. After a few minutes Todd headed to the door and let someone in. I heard the familiar accent and my heart dropped to my stomach. Jeff is here.

To be fair, I’m probably the only one who really cares that much, especially since I’m drunk as hell and I have a crush on the dude. I try to run and hide in a corner but there’s a lot more people now. I finally see an opening and head straight for the backyard. Thankfully no one noticed because Zane was too busy doing something extremely dangerous. I sit in one of the chairs we reserve for smoking, hitting my puff and scrolling mindlessly through TikTok, trying to get the thoughts out of my head. I hear the sliding door open and look up to see David.

“Alright what’s wrong? You look like we threw a party because we killed your dog” David jokes, my lips spread into a light smile

“Nothing, I’ve just been so exhausted lately with everything going on.. that’s all” I lie, I mean I’m not really lying, just not telling him the whole truth

“So it has nothing to do with Jeff showing up and you’re definitely overthinking and avoiding him even more. C’mon I’ve known you for forever, you can’t lie to me” He replies, his tone suddenly being serious

And it’s true, I’ve known David since I moved out here. He was my first real L.A friend. He’s seen me at my absolute lowest moments, and someone I could always go to whenever something was wrong. I hated that he could read me like a book.

“Fine, the Jeff thing is a contributing factor. But I’m being honest about the exhaustion” I say, crossing my arms like a child

We sit and talk, something we haven’t done in forever. It felt nice to have someone listen to me. After about half an hour of just talking we decide to head back inside. I felt too sober again and took some shots with Natalie and Toddy. I could feel Jeff’s eyes glaring a hole into the side of my head, but I was too sober to deal with anything right now.

At around 1:00 am. I got hungry and ordered DoorDash for everyone. All the other guests had left so it was just our main group scattered around the house. Jeff was surprisingly still here. Todd had whispered to me earlier that the only reason he was sticking around this late was to make sure I got home alright. I smiled at the sentiment, he was always making sure my drunk ass was safe.

Our DoorDash arrived and we all ate while watching some movie David found on Netflix. Jeff took a seat next to me, the look in his eyes was telling me he was going to ask for my permission so I simply nodded and scooted over so he could be comfortable. After we ate David wanted to get some last minute bits before we left for his vlog tomorrow.

“Jeff are you attracted to Sage?” David asks, my breath hitches in my throat, making me choke on my water

“No, I’ve blocked her out. Since she’s part of the friend group I don’t want to make anything weird” He replies, I can tell the answer even made David a little upset

Jason makes a joke to lighten the mood before there’s any tension which I greatly appreciate. Although Jeff’s words struck a cord, while I sit there repeating what he said it hits me. He’s right, I can’t guarantee that if Jeff and I were together that it would be for life and I can’t lose my second family. He’s right, it would never happen. Before I know it I feel my eyes watering and Natalie gently grabs my hand before leading me to her room with the rest of the girls in tow. When she closes the door I finally let it all out

“It’s ok princess, let it out” Mariah says, the girls wrapping me in a group hug

“It’s so stupid, we’re best friends before I let this stupid ass crush ruin everything but just hearing him say that out loud made it so much more concrete that we will never be together” I cry, resting my head on her shoulder

We have a little talk and I clean myself up before we all go back outside. At that point  David was done filming and was looking through the footage on his camera to pick out some clips. Jeff was waiting patiently on the couch before Corinna spoke up.

“Hey Jeff, I’m gonna take Sage home. We have some plans tomorrow and it would just be easier if I stay over” She says, it’s sort of true, Corinna has some meetings in the morning and they’re closer to my place but she isn’t staying over

“Oh ok, I should head out then. I’ll see you guys later” Jeff says, saying his goodbyes and leaving

“So was anyone else uncomfortable with Jeff’s answer or was it just me?” David asks, the group agrees, it’s definitely in his right to say that I mean no is mad

“Yea, I wasn’t mad cause it’s his own opinion and Jeff is a big boy, but he seems to sort of lead you on for him to turn around and say that he doesn’t even see you like when we ask him about Natalie and Corinna” Heath replies, everyone nods in agreement and I just sigh

“I’m not mad, I mean I have been sort of ghosting everyone these past few weeks, maybe he’s just upset” I explain, Heath and Todd give me the look

“Baby that’s bullshit and you know it” Heath laughs, Todd agrees with him and taps my leg

“To be honest, he was very stressed out while you were gone” He says, I know he’s trying to make me feel better but it doesn’t really help

Corinna and I leave shortly after we have our little group talk. We caught up during the car ride and before I know it we’re at my apartment. We say goodbye and plan to meet for lunch tomorrow before I head up to my apartment. I knew Carly was probably fast asleep so I tried to be as quiet as possible.

I get ready for bed and climb into my warm blanket, wrapping myself like a burrito. I browse TikTok on my phone for a few minutes before setting my alarm. Just before I let sleep take over my phone buzzes on my nightstand.

Jeff: I missed you.. I’m sorry for being an asshole tonight. I had no idea that I was leading you on, but I didn’t know you had a crush on me..

Fuck.